#(lying but these two last chapters are pretty much the final boss of that particular story thread)

[lucky-clover-gazette]

CORRUPTION BUT IT'S SUPER UNCHILL AU NEW CHAPTER NOT CLICKBAIT!!!

Chapter 4 of 5 (or 6. sorry) | 8217 words | Rated T but like, a high T

Darkness and light meet in the center of Lon Lon Ranch. “Hi, love,” Shadow Link greets the purple hero, circling around him appraisingly. The maneuver separates him from his allies, which Malon assumes is the point. “Shadow,” Vio says. Even now, he seems unable to summon contempt for his… whatever those two are to each other. The demon’s voice is both fondly condescending and condescendingly fond. “Look at that—you betrayed me after all.”

#you have no idea how fucking insane this fic has made me #please. take it #i have a good chunk of ch 5 done already #i am never writing about vio's beef with god ever again #(lying but these two last chapters are pretty much the final boss of that particular story thread) #my writing #fs #four swords #vio link #shadow link #vidow

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 21

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, sexual content (18+)

A/N: CHILDREN SHIELD YOUR EYES!!! for those over 18, hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

I love you.

I love ... you.

Some words have the power to affect you and touch you more than an actual touch. I, love, and you are words as simple as words can be, they’re overused and sometimes used in ways that shouldn’t be used. They’re harmless. However put them together and suddenly you have a sentence that can haunt you or provide you with the best of feelings that can be experienced by someone. 

I love you. He’d heard that particular phrase several times at different times in his life, the first being with the very first girl he fell in love with and the last being with the last girl he would ever fall in love with. Love is such a pure emotion in its own, no hatred, no jealousy, no selfishness and the fact that it came from someone as pure as Y/N, it was just ... the best thing someone could hear. She loved him. Him, out of everyone. She loved him and he was speechless. The mob boss who constantly controlled the room and everyone around him, who always had the last word was speechless at the hand of the handmaid. Soft power, she embodied soft power and this was a pure demonstration of that trait. 

    - I’m so sorry ... I don’t know why I said that, you’re engaged to Gwen and I respect her so much. I ... - she was lost in her rambling. Why couldn’t she have kept her feelings in the darkest corner of her mind? Why would she tell him that? She shouldn’t have and before she could return to her quick apology and cover up what she thought to be a dagger and conversation stopper, he had pulled her chin towards his to kiss her delicately. She should’ve pulled back, part of her knew she should’ve pulled back but he was too much for a good kisser and she was too much involved into it for her to actually delve onto the consequences of her actions. 

   - If I knew you’d do this, I would given you a bag much much sooner. - was she wrong to be feeling this way? After all, no one is really capable of controlling their feelings, they’re just responses caused by hormones and the brain to various stimuli . She can’t choose them right? Then if she can’t chose she should at least feel guilty. This was Gwen’s husband to be, the same Gwen whose family supported her education and kept her alive all this years. But then again Gwen was never gonna love Sebastian, no, she wasn’t even gonna try to be his friend yet that didn’t mean it gave Y/N the right to commit adultery. Could it even be considered adultery if he wasn’t married yet? No, it is adultery and she shouldn’t commit adultery with the man standing in front of her. - Are you alright, angel?

   - I should go to bed. - she got on her feet, looking down at her cozy socks instead of his beautiful baby blues. - Good night, Sebastian. 

She had to get as far away from him as possible before she did something something like getting under him. How is she supposed to fall out of love with someone if she’s under him? Why would she tell him she was in love with him? Was she daft or did she have a dying wish? Locking the bedroom door behind her, she slid down the dark wood door, hand on top of her chest. How rude of her to just leave him there. He had been nothing but a sweetheart to her with pretty much copying her Christmas tradition in less than a day to make her happy, and let’s not even mention the bag that was compared to real estate. For shame, she had kissed not once, not twice but several times the very much off the market mob boss. Yet again, why should she care? Why should be so worried if Gwen was not? If his wife to be didn’t care and was more than happy to go around with as many men as she wanted despite the wedding ring on her polished finger, why should she care about who was with Sebastian?

Oh Sebastian. She had just left him there looking like a lost puppy. How could she do this? He had gone all the way to make her happy, he respected her and was the only person in her life so far who had actually been interested in listening to her opinions and actually ask her what she wanted. She owed him an apology, heck, she had been playing go and pull with him for quite some time so she owed him more than a apology. Yet again, why did she not just have her fun? If Gwen can have her affairs then why couldn’t she delve into her own passions with him? He clearly seemed willing but it’s wrong. However, what is right and wrong when you’re in the mob? There’s always a fine fine line between right and wrong. There’s no right and wrong, that’s what she used to hear from Mr. Forrest, only darker and lighter shades of grey. 

Did she believe that? She didn’t know. Different authors had different opinions and she herself din’t believe she would ever know the answer. What she knew was that before she realised what she was doing, she was walking barefoot against the hardwood floors and stood in front of the door of his bedroom. She knocked on the door with a less than willing strength. He didn’t take long to open the door, standing with his dark sweatpants and grey tee shirt. Y/N’s words escaped her, what was she gonna say? Couldn’t be stupider than telling a soon to be married man that she loved him. Should she start with an apology? Should she try and joke? No, she clearly wasn’t good at joking. Why wasn’t she speaking? She could feel him looming, eyes burning onto her face. 

   - Got something to say, angel? - there was a weird shift in atmosphere as she looked up into his beautiful cerulean eyes. There it was once more, the same pull accompanied by those characteristic sparks she had heard and read about. What is the point of going against the pull? It’s like facing two magnets and try to ensure they don’t stick together, eventually you tire yourself off. Finally, Y/N was tired and pushing her morals towards her friend into the back of her friend, she leaned in. 

Sebastian was caught off guard but he wasn’t one to complain, specially when it was her. His hands rested on her natural waist, pushing her body towards his. She could feel the warmth of his hands through her shirt, the sort of warmth that only he could provide and as such she held him closer, closer than ever before, ensuring he wouldn’t leave or become a figment of her imagination. Her hand slide into the curly mess that was his hair became whenever he didn’t pay attention to it. 

She didn’t consider herself an experienced kisser, in all honesty, she wasn’t experienced at anything relationship wise so once his tongue made his way into her mouth, stroking the roof ever so lightly she couldn’t help but choke in a moan, hand pulling at his hair. This seemed to incite him as he bit her lip, hands slowly descending to her lower back and her bum, giving it a little squeeze which made her smile through the kiss. 

   - You’re gonna run away from the again, angel? - he swiftly pulled back, closing the door behind them. 

    - I reckon that I care to choose to stay. - Y/N smiled, knowing she would regret it later but later is later and now is now and she’d rather be in the now. He leaned in to kiss her again, fingers toying with the much too short t-shirt of her sleeping garments. Part of her wished he would just take it off, wanting to feel his warmth all over. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about him in lewd ways or how he looked under the pristine suits he always wore. At that thought alone, she couldn’t help but feel her cheeks heat up. 

With a decisive grip, she held onto the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. What she came into her view was something that would water the mouths of everyone. She knew he was a good looking well built man but she wasn’t expecting him to be that ripped. Her hand slid down from his hair to rest onto his chest. 

   - I don’t think it’s a fair deal you seeing me with my shirt off while you’re fully dressed, angel. - stress spread through her whole body and she wondered if he was going to like what he saw once she removed her tee-shirt. She was almost entirely sure that she was not up to standards to please a man like him. 

   - Alright, turn around. - Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows at her request but decided to comply, turning around. After checking he was staring at the door and not at her, she pulled her shirt off throwing it to the floor where it pooled near his.

    - You are the most stunning thing I’ve ever come across. - she heard his raspy deep yet deeper than usual voice against her ear as he took a long stride towards her. 

His arms circled around her smaller figure and Y/N was sure she could feel her heart beating faster and harder on her throat when his hands ghosted over her chest, tightening around her perked bud. This sole action made her gasp loudly which caused him to softly hum in content against the back of her neck, moving the hand that circled over one of her breasts and running his thumb over the perked bud once to watch the young handmaid get goosebumps and squirm under his touch. Screw having power over a whole entire city, he would throw it all away so he could have this sort of power over her. 

    - You like when I touch you. Don’t you, angel? - He stated rather plainly with a hint of pride and she adverted her eyes from his hands. Her mouth opened to speak yet it closed as quickly as it opened once he pinched one of her buds without any prior warning. She tried her hardest to prevent a moan to slip out thinking it would make her sound like a desperate teenager but there was no stopping her quivering and shaking legs. He seemed to notice this, pulling her from the ground and laying her down on his bed. - Do you want to do this?

    - Yes. - she nodded her head furiously, worried that if she took a beat he would disappear in thin air. She stood there in his bed, head slightly raised as she watched every single step.

His eyes were darker than usual, a far cry from the baby blues that took over his iris and the stretched fabric on his crotch was a tell sign he was trying his best to control the situation which only made her more aroused and she could feel the wetness coming from her and sliding down her thighs which every once in a while rubbed against one another. 

He took his sweet time unbuttoning and zipping down his trousers as he stares down at her, wondering if he was having yet again one of his delusion dreams. However, her harsh breathing was much too real to be just a dream and her touch was much to intense to be a fantasy. He pushed his boxers and his trousers down past his knees and climbed onto bed, hovering above her, hands on either side of her head. 

Y/N was rather new to the whole array of sensations she was feeling yet all she knew was that she wanted to feel him, she wanted to touch him badly yet all her body seemed to be writhing under him, awaiting for release. However, he lost no time in getting rid of the white shorts as quickly as he could. Her eyes were gazed onto the ceiling, much to shy to actually look at what was happening. 

When he pressed down with his index finger on her clit and, skilfully, pushed aside her underwear, she found herself gasping lightly as she felt his warm roughed finger trace up and down her folds and then, to make it more torturous in a twisted pleasurable way, he adds another finger, circling her little bundle of nerves masterfully while his other fingers slip along her folds, slipping just enough for him to feel her soaking entrance.

   - Sebastian ... - she managed to blurt out, clinging to the arm whose hand continued to tease her masterfully and she herself was if she had hold onto him to get some relief from these new emotions or to stop him completely so she could regain her senses. 

  - It’s alright, angel, I’m here. - he smirked down at her, leaning close to her heated face, lips almost painfully touching. - You are so wet, so frustrated. I could just stare at you for hours.

   - Just do something. 

   - I am doing something, angel. Maybe I’ll just stop doing it ... - he answers , removing his fingers from her soaked folds and placing them in his sinful mouth, licking and sucking on them rather loudly to make her even more flustered, if that was even possible. 

Y/N stared at him as she tried to even out her breathing and calm down her beating-heart, thumping as hard as a rabbit thumps their small pawed feet on the grass. She thought she had read sinful things, she thought she had seen sinful things but nothing compared to watching his lick her juices off his fingers. Sebastian hummed and wrapped his tongue around the tips of his fingers. Once finished, he removed them with a loud pop. 

  - After all you did run on me ... several times - he added smugly, proud of the control he has holding over her head. - You’re lucky I adore you, angel. 

He pushed her stomach down on the bed, his hands, parted and one either side of her head, supporting his body height as he fit his knee in between her legs, slowly spreading her thighs apart, never for a moment leaving her gaze or letting her eyes wander anywhere else but him. He could just die happy looking at her like that.

Wrapping her spread legs around his waist, she could already feel his thick hard cock pressed against her entrance, making her choke out a moan and a few whines, both from anticipation, need, and pure unknown of what was going to happen next. She was sure she had never felt something like that before, so powerful yet needy at the same time. Stretching her arms to wrap around his neck, she buried her head against the soft sheets of the bed to which he smirked and leaned. Slowly, he pushed into her and she gasped, parting her lips just barely enough to let out a throaty moan. It was a weird feeling, painful but with the power to be something else and as he slowly continued to fill her the brim, she couldn’t help but let out moans and cries of both pleasure and pain as she felt him stretch her completely and that pain morphed into more of an unspeakable pleasure.

   - God fuck ... you’re tight. - he shut his eyes, groaning as he felt her walls contract around him, stilling his movements.

   - Fuck ... - she groaned, moving her hips from side to side which made him groan loudly, eyes snapping open. 

   - Don’t do that unless you want me to fuck you against the window so that the whole of the Upper East will know who you belong to. - those words came out like threats but the way she milked him made him smirk. - You do want that, don’t you, angel? Maybe some other day. 

  - Just move, please just move ... - she pleaded with whatever control of her voice she had left and with a crooked smirk, his hands slide down to her hips which he grabbed. Subtly, he yanked them up until he slide out of her womanhood completely before ramming himself back in, making her moan sharply and hide her face against his chest in an attempt to muffle her moans.

Y/N quivered and whimpered in his hold, shaking her hips with both excitement and pleasure as he repeated the same motion time and time again. His thrusts  heavy, hard and fast, and as both of them gradually started to reach their end, became sloppier and messier but still powerful enough to rock her body and the bed along with it. She could feel herself getting closer, closer and closer to some sort of unknown release until finally she felt as if her body went through a tiny explosion causing her walls to tighten around him and Sebastian, in turn and along with her orgasm, came within a few seconds after her. 

He slid out of her, rolling on his side while Y/N stared at the ceiling, still lost in what sounded like static and white like vision, breath returning to normality along with her body. 

  - Are you okay, angel? - he questioned, watching her roll on her side so she could look at him.

  - Peachy. - she breathed out, arms lifting up with whatever strength she had left to wrap them around his torso. Nuzzling her face against his chest, sleep soon came to both of them. 

The morning came soon after, tiny and weak rays of sun filtered through the windows into the mob boss’s bedroom. However, it wasn’t the light that woke them up but the incessant knocking on their door. Sebastian raised his head from his pillow, cursing whomever was knocking at the door.

Grabbing his boxers from the floor and quickly putting them on, he strode towards the door, pulling it open so hard that it could’ve removed it from the hinges hadn’t they been well placed.

   - Amelia, what is it? - he almost growled at the housekeeper, she however was unbothered by it, much too used to him at this point. 

   - We have a situation, Mr. Stan. 

   - What situation? - he asked in a much more polite tone of voice, noticing Y/N was watching them like a hawk in confusion. 

   - It’s Mr. Daniel Forrest ... he’s downstairs. 

   - How is he downstairs? No cars are leaving from the Upper East. 

   - I don’t know, sir. He is here however to take Miss Y/N to Mr. Forrest’s house ... for Christmas. He is rather impatient. 

   - For heaven’s sakes ... - he kicked the side of the door. In all the times the weather just had to get better right now, turning around to look at the girl still barely awake in his bed, he let out a sigh. He couldn’t force her to spend Christmas with him. All she wanted was to go home. - Angel, get your things, Daniel Forrest is here. 

   - Dan is here? - she perked up, duvet wrapped around her body as she collected her garments from the floor. - But I thought ...

   - Well, he is here and I don’t think he’s gonna leave unless you leave with him. Isn’t that what you wanted? - isn’t that what she wanted? She questioned herself as she got dressed, surely it was. She wanted to spend Christmas with those who had taken care of her, right? 

   - You must come with me then. We always have one more plate at our table and the house is awf ...

   - I have to work, angel. I don’t get days off, I told you that. 

   - I know and you can work there. It’s fine, I’m sur ...

   - Y/N. - he interrupted her. - Just go and get your things. 

tag list: @lilya-petrichor @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom @cevans98 @thelostallycat @sideeffectsofyou @anxiousdreamersworld @captainchrisstan @lookiamtrying​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​​​ @stuffforreferences​ @thebadassbitchqueen

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan smut #mob!sebastian stan #mobster!sebastian stan #mafia!sebastian stan

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 66 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Katya decided that parenthood might be in the cards after all, Pearl couldn’t get Dahlia out of her head, and Violet worried that Sutan’s friends would never be able to respect her.

This Chapter: Brunches, presents, an announcement, a trip to the champagne room, and a new hire.

***

Sutan opened the door to his apartment, a smile blooming on his face at the fact that the light was still on, which meant Violet hadn’t gone to bed yet.

It was after 8, Sutan spending the day with Gigi and then going to a Christmas reception in the evening with Tamisha, his boss pleading with him to please come with her and make sure no one she hated talked to her, Sutan guarding her for the entire cocktail hour.

“Violet?” Sutan called out, hanging his jacket up and toeing his shoes off.

“Bathroom!”

Sutan walked through the apartment, the door to the bathroom open. Violet was standing at the sink, her fingers braiding her hair into French braids.

“Hey,” Violet smiled and gave him a quick kiss, her lips tasting faintly like sugary lip scrub. “I didn’t know if you’d be home, but I got dinner for you too.”

“What are we having?” Sutan leaned against the sink, watching Violet who unscrewed the lid on one of her face creams, scooping out a dollop and rubbing it into her skin.

“Lentil soup.”

“Yum.” Sutan drawled, his tone bone dry.

It wasn’t that he hated lentil soup, but he’d never understand why Violet ate it voluntarily when the entirety of Manhattan's takeaway options were open to her.

“Don’t act like that,” Violet huffed, holding up her hand with a bit of leftover face moisturizer, silently asking him if he wanted it and Sutan nodded, Violet’s fingers gliding over his cheek seconds later. “It’s good for you.”

“Do I at least get bread this time?” Sutan had to bite his lip not to smile, Violet looking at him like he had grown a second head when he had complained about the distinct lack of bread on his plate the last time she had ordered dinner.

“Yes,” Violet rolled her eyes, but she continued rubbing in tiny circles, even dipping her fingers again to make sure she had enough to cover his entire face.

“Lucky me,” Sutan wasn’t sure if he was talking about the bread, or about the strange little things Violet always tended to do for him, this little traditions of theirs starting in Paris when Violet had needed to get rid of some extra hand moisturiser and had ended up massaging it into his skin.

“Did you have a good day?” Violet ran a finger down his nose, the pressure weirdly comforting, her never ending attention to detail carrying into this as well, the finishing tap on his nose a sign that she was done.

“Very good.” Sutan smiled as he watched Violet wipe her hands, her bedtime routine done for now even though she was still in her work clothes. “Been all over the city. Shopping, dinner, the whole shebang since I’m training a new model.”

“Great.”

Violet wasn’t fully paying attention because she had already heard of days like that before, instead grabbing her crutches to get to the kitchen, but Sutan didn’t mind.

In past relationships, he would have been interrogated if he had said he had spent the day with a model, Kahmora in particular, always keeping an eye on him.

He hadn’t thought much of it then, hadn’t even considered that there could be anything wrong with it, after all, it showed that they cared, but he had to admit that it felt amazing that Violet trusted him to do his job and just his job.

“I put your soup in the fridge,” Violet made her way to the kitchen table, sitting down to keep him company while he ate his dinner. “Sorry that it’s cold.”

“I don’t mind,” Sutan pressed a quick kiss to her temple, walking over to the fridge. “Oh. Speaking of.” Sutan looked over his shoulder. “I got you something.”

“You did?”

“It’s on the table.” Sutan grabbed the container of soup, an order of bread lying untouched on the counter. “White plastic bag!”

Just like with the ring dish, Sutan hadn’t actually realised how often he just dumped his stuff on his kitchen table, the quick pitstop he had taken at home to change into evening wear just enough time to add to the ever growing pile that Violet patiently stacked against the wall every single day.

Sutan dumped the soup into a bowl, opening the cabinet that hid the microwave to pop it in.

“Sutan… What…” Sutan turned around, looking at Violet who was holding the iPhone 6 box he had picked up at the Apple store. “What’s this?”

“A phone?” He leaned against the counter, the microwave humming away. “I’m sure you’ve seen one before.”

“I understand that it’s a phone, but why are you giving this to me?”

Sutan paused, that question not at all the one he had expected. He was thankfully saved by a ding, the microwave telling him that his food was ready so he had time to think.

“Well, isn’t it obvious? They had the newest model in stock,” Sutan took his bowl, grabbing a spoon before he walked over to the table, Violet’s brown eyes following his every step. “And your phone is barely working.”

“I don’t think-” Violet pursed her lips, clearly swallowing her words. “I can buy my own phone.”

Sutan smiled. Of course. He should have seen it coming. You wouldn’t know it just looking at Violet, his girlfriend so prim and proper from the outside, but she was adorably non-materialistic if it didn’t concern clothes.

“You could, but you haven’t, and I happened to be at the Apple store.”

“I-” Violet looked at him, her brown eyes searching his face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome lovely eyes,” Sutan captured her healthy foot under the table, holding it between his own. “I’m here for whatever you need.”

***

Bianca picked up the French press and poured herself a second cup of coffee, inhaling the fragrance as she lifted it to her lips. She and Courtney had been in bed all morning, but finally decided to wander downstairs for a very late breakfast.

She looked up to where Courtney stood at the stove, concocting some kind of tofu scramble.

“How’s it going over there?”

Courtney had insisted it was one of the few things she knew how to cook, happily chopping tomatoes, zucchini, shallots, and pretty much every other vegetable Bianca had on hand before dumping it all in a sizzling wok. Bianca was frankly unconvinced that she knew what she was doing, but told herself she’d eat it regardless.

“It’s great! Almost done!” Courtney chirped, adding what Bianca noted was a respectable amount of hot sauce for a white girl.

“Sounds great,” Bianca said, opening a cabinet to grab some plates.

“It’s so nice having a stove,” Courtney commented. She said it in a breezy, offhanded way, but it gave Bianca pause, turning towards her with a furrowed brow.

“You don’t have a stove?”

Courtney bit her lip, suddenly embarrassed, and explained, “Well, my place is a studio, and...uh, there’s not like a full kitchen.”

Bianca nodded, doing her best to keep the judgment off her face. No stove meant that whatever place Courtney was renting was not a real studio, and likely an illegal sublet. She shuddered to think of all the potential safety violations in that kind of set-up. Nevertheless, she decided to drop the subject, putting the plates down and slipping an arm around Courtney’s waist, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Thank you for making breakfast, baby.”

“Anytime…” Courtney gave the pan another stir with a wooden spatula before leaning back against Bianca, letting her hold her even tighter.

“So listen...I, uh...have a proposal for you.”

“Oh?” Courtney tilted her head back, one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, so, there’s this big fucking board meeting scheduled for January 6th, so I’m probably gonna stay in town over the holidays. I was thinking that maybe you could stay here, while Galactica’s shut down. With, uh, full stove access. Would you like that?”

Courtney whirled around, her beautiful face beaming, throwing her arms around Bianca’s neck and exclaiming, “I’d love it!”

Bianca leaned forward to capture her lips in a gentle kiss which soon grew deeper as Courtney arched against her, backing her up against the island. Bianca smiled against her mouth, unable to stop the dimples from piercing through as she thought about how lucky she was.

They stayed like that, blissfully wrapped in each other, until Bianca lifted her head to ask, “Is something burning?”

“Shit!”

***

“Mmh,” Trixie had to bite down a moan, his mouthful of waffles and bacon like an explosion of flavor. “Holy shit!”

“So?” Katya grinned, looking at him with her blue eyes. “Are they up to the standard?”

Their entire Sunday brunch crew, and even Violet, was gathered in their living room, Katya cooking for everyone, the table stacked with hearty and filling winter recipes like ginger and peach pudding, spiced sweet potatoes, apple pancakes and baked chickpeas.

“They’re amazing!” Trixie smiled, shoving another forkful down, the salt and the syrup perfect together.

“Awh thanks sugar butt,” Katya pressed a kiss against his cheek, which made Kim produce a retching noise.

“Take it to the bedroom you two!” Kim threw her napkin at them, which made Shangela snort and Ivy giggle.

“Be careful what you wish for Kimmie,” Pearl drawled, a stack of apple pancakes largely untouched on her plate, “because you really don’t want them to take it to the bedroom.”

“Everyone,” Max rolled his eyes, even though he was still smiling and Trixie snorted, a sense of pride welling up in his chest at Pearl’s words.

Sure, he and Katya had a tendency to be loud, but how could he not when Katya was the hottest woman alive, her innovation, commands and demands in the bedroom so fun and rewarding to follow.

“Actually,” Katya sat up straight, Trixie mourning the loss of her heat for a moment, until he recognized the serious expression on her beautiful face. “Trixie and I have an announcement.”

Everyone grew quiet, all watching them as Katya stood up.

“I’m pregnant...and we’re keeping it.”

At once, the table erupted in cheers, Ivy hopping up off the chair she was sitting on to go hug Katya, while Pearl made a beeline for the kitchen, yelling over her shoulder that she was getting the champagne.

“Congratulations!” Violet smiled, her hands clasped together. “That’s amazing!”

“It is,” Trixie smiled, warm happiness filling his entire body as he watched Katya laugh, Shangela joining in on the hug.

“Mama! I can’t believe you're gonna be a Mama!” Shangela grinned, holding Katya’s elbow and shaking her. “I thought you were completely set on never having kiddos?”

“I thought I was, but-” Katya looked at Trixie, their eyes meeting across the table. “It happened and, I mean. What’s the worst case scenario? That we fuck up and they become a serial killer?”

“Shit, that would be fucked up,” Kim snorted, her eyes widening. “Not that killer isn’t a cool name.”

“Now that’d be something!” Pearl grinned, returning to the living room with a bottle of champagne and several glasses, the stems between her fingers. She bent down, pressing her cheek against Katya’s stomach. “Hi Killer! We can’t wait to meet you!”

“Pearl!” Trixie swatted his best friend's shoulder, but Katya was laughing, holding Pearl’s head and pressing it against her stomach, and while Trixie seriously hoped his child wouldn’t become a serial killer, he had to admit that it was a little bit funny.

“Seriously,” Shangela looked around. “All y’all need Jesus. Stat.”

***

“Courtney,” Tyra said, rapping on the glass jewelry case to get her attention. “Courtney…”

“Court!” Morgan cut in sharply, and at that she finally looked up.

“You ready to take a break?” Tyra asked. “There’s a pho place right around the corner that we could try.”

“Oh, uh...yeah, just give me a couple of minutes.”

Tyra exchanged a put-upon look with Morgan, who returned her look with an exaggerated eye roll. When they’d suggested meeting up, neither of them were anticipating following Courtney around as she scoured antique stores to find the perfect Christmas present for Bianca.

She’d already found a huge book of 1960s fashion photography, as well as a vintage Hermes scarf, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her precious girlfriend. And worse, she’d been talking about nothing except Bianca all afternoon.

Tyra didn’t care if Courtney was gay or bi or whatever, but this slavish devotion to her brand new relationship was extremely tedious, and it made Tyra long for the days when Courtney would date men whose names she forgot three days later.

“Ooh, look at these!” Courtney exclaimed, pointing to a pair of earrings. “Aren’t they beautiful?!”

“Nice,” Morgan said, barely looking up from her phone.

They were nice. As annoyed as Tyra was, she had to admit that. They looked like brass, cut into art deco shapes and adorned with garnets, exactly the right style for Bianca, at least from what Tyra could tell from seeing her on TV.

“Excuse me,” Courtney asked the sales clerk, “How much are these earrings here? I can’t see the price tag.”

The clerk took a key and opened the case, pulling out the earrings to examine the price tag before declaring, “$279.”

Morgan whistled softly under her breath and the clerk raised one eyebrow, just barely but enough to be noticed.

“Shall I ring them up for you?” he asked drily, clearly expecting her to say no, already moving to put the earrings back into the case.

“Um…” Courtney bit her lip, fingertips resting on the edge of the glass.

“Court, you’re not seriously gonna spend that much are you?” Tyra asked, appalled. She’d seen Courtney’s apartment. That girl did not have a damn penny to spare.

“Yeah, she knows you’re poor, there’s no way she’s expecting some expensive gift,” Morgan added.

“No, I know, but…” Courtney squared her shoulders and looked at the sales clerk, saying, “I’ll take them.”

Tyra looked at Morgan behind her back, scandalized, shaking her head. Morgan smothered a laugh with her hand and gave a little shrug as if to say, ‘It’s her credit card debt.’

***

Pearl was back at the club again. At 4 pm on a Sunday. Which was totally normal, right?

Right.

She sighed slightly, swirling the whiskey in her glass, unable to hear the clink of ice cubes over the pounding bass. She should definitely leave, she knew that, and told herself that she would… She wasn’t going to say that she was obsessed, wasn’t going to give in to the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about Dahlia, but she was leaning on the side of pathetic, and if there was one thing Pearl Liaison didn’t do, it was pathetic.

She probably had to rethink that though, as she handed one of the managers 200 dollars in cash, the man taking her to a small enclosed room, a heavy red curtain blocking out the rest of the club.

Her stripper alias was “Sin,” which was both absurdly simple and painfully fitting, Pearl drawn to her dangerous beauty like a spell, hungry for even the smallest taste of her.

Pearl tapped her fingers against her thigh, her lip between her teeth, when she heard a voice come from the doorway.

“Well well well,” Dahlia smirked, pushing the curtain aside.  “Look who’s back.”

Pearl felt her heart skip a beat as Dahlia gave her a slow once-over, her bedroom eyes even sexier when she was so close. Today’s outfit was a sinful (fitting) red set, a garter belt digging into Dahlia’s soft tan skin.

“Mmmh.” Pearl tried to keep her face blank and expressionless, tried desperately to hang onto the last bit of control, but she couldn’t stop her heart from speeding up as Dahlia made her way across the room, her palms getting sweaty as she swayed her hips to the music.

“So,” Dahlia smiled, swinging a leg over Pearl’s lap. “You know the rules right?”

She smelled like peaches, and Pearl had to dig her fingers into the velvet of the couch she was sitting on.

“No touching,” Dahlia reminded her, full lips twisted into a smirk.

“I’ve never been a fan of rules.”

“Good thing that isn’t up to you then,” Dahlia sat down, and Pearl had to bite back a groan as she took her weight, the woman an insane tease. “Promise me that you’ll be good?” Dahlia tilted her head, her lips slightly separated, “or I promise you that a bouncer will kick your ass to the curb.”

“Shit, right, right.” Pearl nodded, and Dahlia grinned.

“Good girl.”

Pearl swallowed. Dahlia reached out, grabbing a remote from behind Pearl, a small speaker inside their room powering up, and Pearl was in heaven as she began to move.

To call it a dance would be generous, but Pearl didn’t care. She was mesmerized by her curves, watching her with rapt attention as she swayed her hips, bent down to slowly unhook the garters, leaving them dangling. Dahlia was sin personified, her bra holding her perfect tits in place, the promise of hard nipples just underneath the lace.

Dahlia turned around, and Pearl knew instantly that she worked out, her ass round and firm, the kind of deliciousness that only came from discipline and hard work. A quick motion and her bra was now unhooked. She let the straps slide off her shoulders, finally dropping the bra on the ground.

“Turn around,” Pearl whined, unable to help herself, and Dahlia looked back over her shoulder, dark eyes flashing with amusement.

“You really want it, huh?” she asked, and Pearl nodded vigorously.

“Uh huh.”

Dahlia turned back slowly, hands demurely covering her chest, lashes fluttering.

“Please…”

She kneeled on the couch, straddling Pearl’s thighs before removing her hands, arching up forward to display her glorious tits, brown nipples hard and so, so close.

Pearl bit back a whimper, and Dahlia began to roll her hips slowly, inching closer and closer until her perfect mouth was right up against Pearl’s ear.

“What are you thinking about, baby?”

“How much I hate rules,” slipped out of Pearl’s mouth before she thought better of it, and Dahlia laughed.

“Poor thing...” Dahlia clucked, taking Pearl’s hand from the arm of the sofa and inching it towards her body. First her thigh, skating her fingertips higher and higher up her beautiful tan skin, flashing the naughtiest smile as she got closer to her lace, barely-there panties.

Pearl’s chest heaved, and Dahlia laughed, right in her face, redirecting her hand higher and higher, palm very nearly brushing against one of her pert nipples, finally letting it rest on her bare shoulder as Dahlia ran her own fingers teasingly across Pearl’s.

She arched forward again, those incredible tits grazing Pearl’s own chest. Pearl squirmed painfully on the sofa as Dahlia body-rolled against her, not daring to move her hand from where it was placed, fingers digging into the smooth skin.

She was close, could feel herself on the edge, and orgasm so close just from this, and then suddenly the song had ended, and Dahlia hopped up off her lap, re-clipping her garters, picking up her bra from the floor.

Pearl tried one last hail Mary, hoarsely saying, “Give me your number.”

Dahlia laughed, shaking her head. “No way. This...this is business.” She gestured to the room around them. “That would be...not. And anyway, what would your girlfriend say?”

“She-” Pearl swallowed. “We broke up.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“We did!” Pearl sputtered. “It’s true.”

“Yeah, well, even so...you do know I’m her friend, right?” Dahlia asked pointedly.

“Well…”

“Exactly,” Dahlia said, shaking her head again. “You’re asking for trouble.”

“I want to see you again,” Pearl said.

“You can see me anytime,” she said sweetly, adding pointedly, “As long as you bring cash,” before leaving, shutting the curtain behind her.

Pearl let her head drop back against the sofa, a deep sigh leaving her. Fuck.

***

“So,” Trixie tried not to tap his fingers or look at himself as he watched his computer screen, Skype pulled up.

Trixie didn’t like doing job interviews, the process tedious and draining each and every time, living up to Fame’s expectations and wishes difficult on a good day.

Interviews, however, were especially draining when it happened digitally, trying to act natural hard enough on its own when on screen, but as the manager and department head, it was his responsibility to feel out potential hires, to figure out if they’d fit with his team or not, but he had a decent feeling with this one.

“Are you interested?”

“Fuck yes!”

Trixie had to hide a grin, Aurora practically beaming through the screen. She was very pretty with tan skin, white blonde hair and full brows, the striped shirt she was wearing fashionable and fun.

Aurora had an impressive portfolio, her references were decent, and most importantly, she seemed like someone Fame could be impressed with if given time and guidance.

“Oh fuck-” Aurora grimaced, the enthusiasm gone for a second before she recovered, trying to play it cool. “I mean yes. Yes I’d love that.”

“Great.” This time, Trixie couldn’t hold back the laugh, Aurora probably fitting right into his department if she could keep the attitude in check.

“Our legal department will take care of your visa,” Trixie jotted down that he’d have to talk to Rita, work permits always a massive pain in the ass, “but you’re starting January 10 either way, and hopefully you won’t have to work remotely for long.”

#rpdr fanfiction #thedane #veronica #galactica #vitan #bitney #trixya #dahlia x pearl #raja gemini #violet chachki #courtney act #bianca del rio #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #shangela laquifa wadley #kim chi #pearl liaison #tyra sanchez #dahlia sin #a'whora #morgan mcmichaels #lesbian au #m/f au #fashion au #smut

[crystaljins]

River lead me home | 02

Characters: Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 5.2k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Notes: I’ve gotten such a fantastic response to this!!! You guys have been so supportive and so thoughtful about my fic and I’m honestly so grateful! This chapter is a bit sad and angsty, but it’s necessary to launch into the adventure bit.

I hope continue to live up to expectations!!

Tags: @blue1928​

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

The portal to the other realm is located in a far, dark corner of the city you now call home. It is the only way between realms. No human technically knows about it (although you are aware of the incident about a month ago with Taehyung’s new girlfriend) and it’s in a shady enough corner of town that no one really stumbles upon it. The few that do are written off as high as a kite and probably hallucinating. And so the entrance remains unguarded and hidden in plain sight- a fake bathroom door in the back of an alley between a brothel and an antique store with creepy dolls in the window- literally the last public bathroom anyone would use even in emergencies. You tighten your backpack straps and hope the hello kitty on the front doesn’t look too out of place as you step into the alleyway.

Jungkook sits on your shoulders, kicking his legs idly. They bounce against the bright pink straps of your backpack as he glances around the dinghy alleyway. Even in the daytime, the place is a bit eerie and uncomfortable, like at any moment a rogue gang member may leap out and knife you. 

“Scared?” Jungkook questions when the silence begins to stretch out between you for an uncomfortably long moment. You swallow past the dryness in your throat. 

“N-no.” You say, but the stutter gives you away. You had snuck out of the house that morning under the guise of going to the part time job that you’d been fired from and your mother still felt too guilty about last night’s dinner fiasco to stop you. It’s only a five-day hike. There and back would only take two hours in this world. No one, not even Jin, would be able to work out that you’d ever gone over to the other world. But that’s only if you make it out alive. It’s been thirteen years since you crossed over to this world but as many fond memories as you have of your home realm, you have not forgotten the dangers it held. 

Jungkook sighs in annoyance. 

“Don’t tell me you’re backing out after thirteen years of angst-ing and being annoying.” He complains. He straights and launches himself off your shoulder to hover in front of you. “Shall I help you?” He asks, hands shoved in the pockets of his little jeans. You have a collection of naked dolls at home as you buy a doll whenever you see a cute outfit for him, and no one wants a doll without the accessories. This particular doll’s outfits consist of a fake blazer, a pair of jeans and a little white tshirt. 

“How can you help?” You question, your voice as cautious as warranted when offered aid by a creature small enough to crush in your hand. Jungkook quirks a tiny brow and grins, fluttering closer.

“An old pixie charm for protection and luck.” He says and you miss the slight tick to his jaw as he mutters the words. He flies in close enough to press both hands to the space between your eyebrows. “Close your eyes.” He murmurs. 

You follow his request, letting your lids flutter shut and inhaling deeply. 

“You need an eyebrow wax. There are a lot of hairs here.” Jungkook mutters. 

“Jungkook.” You grit out warningly. You feel his hands flinch in the slightest tickle. 

“I’m just saying....” he defends himself before taking a deep breath. A little song that he sings fills your ears. You’ve heard Jungkook singing before- he likes to sing along to whatever comes on the old radio you keep on the roof and sometimes he comes across small mice or moths that are injured and he’ll sing them back to health. This song is different though- darker, and heavier. His voice is normally sweet, but this has an unusual edge to it- it doesn’t sound like a good luck charm. But honestly, you trust Jungkook with your life and so your eyes remain closed until the time peters out. Your eyes open as silence falls and the last of a faint glow to Jungkook’s form fades. 

“There.” He says cheerfully. “Now you’ll see the river no matter what!”

You stare at Jungkook for a long moment and gather your courage. It’s stupid but a part of you knows that you won’t ever truly be happy if you don’t do this. It’s a lot to put on seeing a dumb river but as long as you cling to your home realm you will never truly feel settled here. You need a proper goodbye. 

“Let’s go.” You say, clutching once more at the bright pink straps of your backpack and moving towards the dingy bathroom door that marks the entrance to a magical world. Jungkook nods and settles back on his favourite perch on your shoulder. 

“Where are we going?” A familiar voice sounds from behind you.

If you’re being honest, you’re pretty sure your heart displaces from your chest to the base of your tongue for a moment. You blame being on edge in a dodgy part of town and nerves about travelling to a dangerous realm for the terrified screech you release. 

By the time you recover, Jin has a hand clasped over his chest, also recovering from a terrified scream. 

“I nearly had a heart attack!” He cries in outrage. Your eyes nearly bug out of your head. 

“YOU NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK?!” You question incredulously. “What are you doing here?”

Jin blinks and glances around the alley in surprise as if he himself is only just registering where he is. 

“I rang your boss.” He admits, folding his arms and leaning against the brick wall. He looks like a model, with the way he artfully deposits himself across the grimy red brick. “And she had some interesting news- that you had been fired almost two weeks ago. Which is weird, because I seem to remember you going to work every day this week. And when I called your mother, she said you had left early for work this morning without talking to her. Imagine my surprise and shock at hearing that!”

You swallow nervously, aware of the way Jin casually eyes you. His stance is relaxed and at ease, but his pose is deceptive. There is a slight tick to his jaw and an unamused glint to his eyes like at any moment he may grab you and launch into his most powerful Jant (Jin rant) yet. 

“Oh, funny, that.” You say hesitantly, scrambling for an excuse. “You see, I-“

“You lied to me.” Jin cuts you off. The excuses die in your throat at the hurt in his voice. This... isn’t a Jant. With Jants, Jin’s anger boils over and you can’t get a word in edgewise. Instead, his voice wobbles and his words are slow and meaningful. Like the precise jabs of a needle. “I’ve been sitting here, feeling terrible for you, but this whole time you’ve been lying to me.” 

“Jin, I-“ you say, finding your voice in an attempt to defend yourself, but he cuts you off.

“Save the excuses!” He practically snarls. “That’s how you always are! Always making excuses for your behaviour- you never take responsibility for the things you do! It’s like you’re not even trying.” 

He kicks off the wall and strides towards you. 

“And now? Now what? You were going to run away without telling any of us? None of us would have ever known what happened to you. All your mum would know was that you ran away after a fight with her and disappeared- did you really want that to be her last memory of you? How selfish can you be!” He scolds. 

All the desperation to defend yourself drains out of you as the weight of Jin’s words hit you. That really had been what you were about to do. You feel Jungkook stiffen on his perch upon your shoulder and you drop your eyes in shame. He’s… he’s right.

“I’ve made excuses for you.” Jin is not finished. His voice cracks as he says the word. “Every time. Since coming here. I’ve always justified every stupid thing you’ve done- every mess you’ve made. ‘Her dad died, Jin. Of course she’s struggling to settle in.’ I’ve helped you every time because I felt bad for you. I could never stop you because I felt so guilty that my family was whole but yours was broken. And so, I’ve let you step all over me our whole lives, but this is enough. You’ve gone too far today. I’m not going to justify your immature and selfish behaviour anymore.”

Tears well up in your eyes at the mention of your father. You’ve never thought about how your actions may have affected Jin. But in hindsight you can see what it must have been like- having dates interrupted with calls from the hospital. Having to cancel plans with friends to pick you up from job interviews. Coming home from a long day at the hospital and being forced to make you a meal. You’ve been so preoccupied with how inadequate you feel next to him that you’d never considered how hard you were making his life. 

“I’m sorry.” You say softly. Jin pauses, and the hard look in his eyes softens and he looks away. 

“Look, don’t worry about it. Let’s just go home.” He tells you wearily. You nod meekly, with every intention of following him and putting this whole episode behind you like it’s nothing more than a delirious fever dream. But then something strange happens. Every muscle in your body locks up. 

Panic races through you- you’re paralysed. Jin has already turned and is making his way back up towards the entrance to the alleyway, but your body won’t follow despite your desperate attempts to move. 

“(Y/N),” Jungkook says urgently from your shoulder. “I have something to tell you-“ 

Jin interrupts him. 

“What are you doing?” He demands. “Let’s go!”

“I can’t.” Is all you manage to choke out. There’s a weird tugging sensation in your body, like every molecule within you is being pulled. Jin’s eyes widen with anger. 

“You’re kidding me!” He cries. “You mean after all of this, you’re still thinking of yourself?”

“It’s not that.” You protest pathetically. “Jin, I can’t move-“

“Save it!” Jin snaps. “For a moment I fooled myself again- I thought maybe you could be mature and I was almost ready to apologise, but as usual, I overestimated you. You really are the selfish brat I’ve always thought you were. Fine. Go to your stupid realm.”

Your eyes widen. Up until this point, you couldn’t get a word in to defend yourself because Jin was painfully right in everything he said. But... his final words are like a punch to your gut. Because, as much of a pain as you are, Jin has never given up on you before. Even the times where he would have been justified in doing so like the time you crashed his car trying to save a kitten on the side of the road. And even that day, back in highschool… that hadn’t been him giving up on you. But this time… all the warmth is gone from his eyes. He’s never looked at you quite like this before. The feeling is strange- like he’s torn open your rib cage with his hands and is snickering at your bruised heart. Until this moment you didn’t even know Jin had the power to hurt you in the way that he has. 

“Jin.” You say softly. Tears stream down your face and you never get the chance to explain yourself. 

“(Y/N)!” Jungkook cries again. “About the charm I just cast-“

A loud, eerie creaking cuts him off. Both you and Jin shift your gazes- the decrepit fake bathroom door slowly opens. The poorly oiled hinges release pained screeches as the darkness behind the door reveals itself. You both stare in confusion- the door doesn’t have the ability to open itself. One has to open it to be able to cross over into the other world. And though you’ve only seen the portal once before, you know it shouldn’t be black like that. 

“What-“ Jin begins to ask, and then something horrible happens. A tendril of darkness shoots out like a whip and wraps around your wrist. You stare down in horror, but your body still will not obey- it does not allow you to attempt to wrench your hand free. Jin looks from you to the door, connected by the dark, rope like substance, and all the colour drains from his face. 

Another whip like movement follows and suddenly your wrists and ankles are encircled by the same odd tendrils. You feel a powerful tug and your arms and legs are pulled backwards towards the portal. 

“What’s going on?” Jin demands. Jungkook has been thrown off balance by the pull- he grips onto the material of your shirt and flaps his wings in an attempt to stay balanced.

“She has to see the river!” It’s Jungkook that calls, his voice high with distress. Jin turns a horrified look to the small pixie. Another yank has you stumbling backwards and then a steady pull slowly drags you to the door. “I... I put a spell on her!” He confesses.

Your heart drops in the same moment that Jin’s expression changes. You’ve never seen such an expression on his face. You’ve known him all your life, even when you lived in the other realm, and you thought you had seen every expression he had to give. But you have never seen such a look of pure, unadulterated fear on his handsome face before. You are a mere metre from the door now, still being dragged backwards and your body does not allow you to fight it. 

“She has to see the river- the realm will not let her go until she does.” Jungkook cries, and Jin’s horrified expression changes. It sets with determination as he processes Jungkook’s words, like lava cooling into hard rock. 

With long, sure strides, he turns back around and marches up the alley way, away from you. You are moved back, centimetre by centimetre and more tendrils snake out of the portal, wrapping around your arms, your torso, your legs, your throat. Gradually as you move closer the shadow seems to absorb your body into it. He’s… he’s leaving you, to get dragged forcefully into the other realm. To a place you could lose your life and he would never know. Panic fills you in a way it never has before- Jin has really, genuinely given up on you.

In your life, despite its ups and downs, there has always been one constant. And as much as you loathe to admit it, that constant has been Kim Seokjin. Even as a child, Jin was the one you’d drag along on adventures. He was the one you turned to when human children bullied you at school or when ex boyfriends dumped you. He was the one who held you in his arms every year on the anniversary of your father’s death. He drove you to school every day when he got his licence before you; he helped you move into your apartment when you were living away from home for college. Every step of your entire life, you’ve always had Jin there to support you. And you realise, for the first time, that he may not always be there- that Jin, just like anyone else out there, can and will give up on you.

But the day that he does that isn’t today, for right as he is about to step out of the alleyway, he pauses.

And then, in a burst of inhuman speed you’ve never seen him use in the thirteen years since coming to the human realm, he is before you. You are no more than a centimetre from the portal. but Jin does not hesitate as he wraps his arms around you. He pulls you in close and tight and his hands curve protectively around the back of your skull. 

The last sensation you are aware of before the darkness envelops you is the steady rise and fall of his broad shoulders as he squeezes his eyes shut and falls into the darkness with you in his arms. 

++++

When you finally rouse, it is to the distant sound of birdsong and the soft, earthy smell of a forest floor. As you blearily open your eyes, you find you are lying on your back, gazing at the way sunlight is filtered to emerald green through the luscious canopy above. The air is thick with a sensation you haven’t felt rush against your skin for thirteen years. The air writhes with the painfully familiar sensation of magic. It leaves you feeling more alive then you’ve felt in a long time. 

Only, when you attempt to sit up, you find your body weighed down. Surprised, you gaze down as your midsection to find a masculine arm curled protectively over it. And your head does not press into the hard forest floor- instead it rests against the careful cushion of someone’s palm. You trace the arm thrown over your stomach with your eyes back up to its owner and register the broad shoulders. They slope towards a pale throat, a sharp jawline, familiar, full lips. Something molten bursts in your chest as you take in Jin’s face. It is similar to relief, but it burns hotter and more intensely. He didn’t leave you- he stayed with you. Despite how mad he was, despite your fight... Jin has chosen you. You swallow deeply and take a moment to soak in his features. It is rare that you get to study his features with such intensity- if he ever caught you staring, he would scowl. Jin loves when everyone except you appreciates his face. He lives for the ego boost other people can provide him but with you, your admiration has always been a burden to him. 

He looks so peaceful, with his lashes fluttering gently against defined cheekbones, his face free of any scowl or frown. He looks young like this, and smaller than he is in your head. You’ve always thought of the three years between you as a huge amount- his personality is so big and so is his presence in your life. But seeing him small and vulnerable like this, you realise with a pang that Jin was only fourteen when you first arrived in the human realm. He was little more than a child as well yet since such a young age he’s had to play the role of mature adult for your sake. Your expression crumples with guilt. Have you really been that blind to how you were affecting him?

Jin’s lashes begin to flutter more, and you are seized with fear- you are not prepared to face him, after the things he has said to you. How can you be? Your heart throbs with shame and you are about to pull away from the safe embrace of his arms but as he rouses his arms tighten around you. 

“Where’s the mosquito?” He groans. His eyes aren’t open, so you’re left staring in confusion. 

“Huh?” You answer dumbly. He blinks one eye open and somehow, he manages to glare at you with just one eye. He seems completely unfazed by the way he holds you tightly in his arms.

“The. Mosquito.” He repeats darkly. A familiar fluttering sounds behind you and Jin’s hand shoots out using his enhanced-guardian reaction time. 

“Ouch!” Jungkook cries and you crane your head to find Jin has easily seized the pixie in his fist. He yanks his arm out from underneath you and sits up, holding Jungkook before him. You wince when your head bangs against the ground, before following suit and sitting up. The forest air is oddly cool without his arms around you. 

“You have five seconds to explain before I pull out the bug spray.” Jin snarls at the small creature. Jungkook struggles uselessly against Jin’s fist, pounding tiny hands against his knuckles. 

“Let me go!” Jungkook cries. “You stupid big oaf! You’re going to crush me!”

You are about to rush to Jungkook’s aid but a firm glare from Jin has you freezing in your spot like a chastened puppy. You hang your head while Jungkook continues to attempt to squirm free. 

“What did you do to her? So help me, you stupid cricket, tell me right now or I’m finding the nearest fly swatter.” Jin questions and there is a lethal fury to his tone that has never been there before. 

“I already told you! I thought guardians were supposed to have good memory.” Jungkook whines, his wings flapping faster and faster until they are just a shimmering blur. Jin’s fist tightens just a fraction and Jungkook squeaks with pain.

“Jungkook.” Jin calls warning. Jungkook sighs and slumps defeatedly against the fist that holds him.  His arms fall limply against Jin’s knuckles, which loosen at Jungkook’s defeat.

“A promise spell.” He finally says. “So that she can’t back out of seeing the river.”

“What river?” Jin demands. He whirls on you for explanation and you flinch. 

“The Dancing River!” You confess fearfully. Jin glares for a moment longer- you briefly consider that maybe instead of being a doctor he should be a detective since he seems to be so good at getting confessions from people. Jin blinks in confusion and his expression fogs slightly as he struggles to recall the significance and existence of such a river.

“The… ‘the river loves those who take the plunge’.” He recalls. He frowns. “Why there?”

You flush and look away.

“He… he wanted me to see it.” You admit. Jin is silent- he does not need to ask who the ‘he’ is that you’re talking about. He bites his lip and scrubs a hand over his face. It is the hand that had been holding the back of your head when you fell. The knuckles of said hand are now scraped and bleeding- rivulets of blood trace paths over the back of his hand. It is already starting to heal, but the dried blood remains. Your heart squeezes in your chest at the sight- you did that to him. He is hurt because of your actions. It’s just another painful reminder of who you’ve been to Jin all these years.

“Why the hell would you cast a spell like that on her?” Jin finally asks, unable to face you. Instead he turns the force of his anger on the tiny pixie who has once again started attempting to break free from Jin’s iron hold.

“So that she would have to see the river. Obviously.” Jungkook spits at his captor. Jin’s eyes bug out of his head.

“YOU NINNY!” He shouts and both you and Jungkook flinch at the sudden boom of his voice cutting through the faint forest sounds. The birdsong goes eerily quiet in answer, but Jin does not notice. “DO YOU REALISE WHAT YOU’VE DONE? SHE CAN’T GO BACK HOME UNTIL SHE SEES THE RIVER NOW!”

“I mean… obviously I realise what I’ve done.” Jungkook sulks. He looks at Jin like Jin is stupid. “That’s why I put the spell on her. So that she couldn’t go home until she saw it.”

“Why?” Jin cries. “Why would you force her to see some stupid river?”

Jungkook pauses to consider why he would do such a strange thing, before pointing accusingly at you. You blink, staring in confusion at the tip of his tiny index finger.

“Because she won’t shut up until she does.” Jungkook says. “She’s going to keep being miserable and sulky and annoying until she gets what she wants- do you really want to put up with that for the rest of your life?”

Both Jin and Jungkook turn their heads in eerie unison to stare contemplatively at you. You shrink under their gaze. Jin sighs in defeat and releases Jungkook from his clutches. Jungkook crows in delight and darts away, flapping his wings cheerfully. Jin just continues to stare at you.

“Why didn’t you say something?” He asks quietly, almost drowned out beneath the sound of Jungkook celebrating his freedom. “If you were upset and you just wanted to come here for a quick trip, we could have told your mother and gone together. Instead, you lied to us and snuck off so that we’d never have known what happened to you! And I… I thought you were leaving forever. That you were running off without saying goodbye. I wouldn’t have… I wouldn’t have been as mad if I’d known it was just a quick trip.”

Jin’s heartfelt confession has you choked up and you duck your head to hide the guilty tears that well up in your eyes. In all honesty… You don’t really deserve a friend like him. The fact that he is here, with you, in this realm, is testament to the kind of person he is. He couldn’t leave you, even when you’d hurt him and that makes you feel sick to your stomach. Your eyes flick to where his hand rests at his side. It is completely healed now but the dried blood remains. Jin does not seem to have noticed he’s even injured.

“Well then let’s go!” Jungkook says, finally stilling from his excited zooming through the air. “Let’s see that river and get this over and done with!”

You nod, and get to your feet, dusting the dirt off your pants and stretching your hand out, towards Jin.

“Let’s go.” You tell him. Instead of accepting it and letting you pull him to his feet, however, Jin just stares at your hand in confusion. He gazes up at you and you don’t understand the expression on his face. He glances down at his apple watch, which has somehow survived the transition between realms unscathed. It lights up with the time back in the human realm. He swallows nervously.

“I… I actually had plans, (Y/N). In the other realm.” He says softly. You drop your hand when he gets to his feet himself and awkwardly dusts himself off. He spots the blood and winces, grabbing at the hem of his shirt in an attempt to wipe it off. He shoots a furtive look at you. “I… You didn’t even plan to have me along for this trip.” He points out. The blood smears across his shirt. Wordlessly, you pull off your backpack and pull out a bottle of water and a small towel. You dampen the towel and grab his hand, gently wiping off the dried blood without looking at him.

“Yeah.” You admit softly. “I was supposed to only be gone for two hours.” He nods and bites his lip as he watches you clean the last of the blood off.

“I’m not bound to this realm.” He says. “I can go back and wait for you. And if you… if you don’t come back, I can tell Auntie where you’ve gone.”

“You could.” You say softly. Jungkook has gone quiet, watching the exchange between the two of you. His wings hold him aloft in the air as he wisely chooses not to interfere. You release Jin’s hand, now clean of the blood. The skin under it is already fully healed- no one would ever know he had hurt himself in the first place apart from a faint discolouration.

“Then… it’s settled? You two can finish your journey and I can go back home?” He asks. You don’t respond for a moment, still scrutinising the faint, discoloured mark on the back of his hand. Finally, you look up and you can’t really explain the expression on his face. His eyes are sad, resigned. But he almost looks like he’s in pain- like he’s doing something that is hurting him. You suppose it’s always been like that for him- you, at the expense of himself. And you can’t keep asking him to do that anymore. Because Jin is just as important to you as you are to him, and for too long you’ve allowed your relationship to be too one-sided. It is well past the time Jin should have been allowed to live his own life, with his own friends. You shouldn’t have dragged him backwards while clinging as desperately to the past as you did.

“It’s settled.” You finally say. It’s weird- you don’t know why you just expected that he would come along with you. But obviously, if he’s not stuck here like you are, and if he has commitment back home… why would he come with you? He has far better things to do, and this can be your first step in being less selfish towards him. Letting him live his life. “Have fun with your plans.”

Jin nods, seeming mildly surprised, glancing over his shoulder where the portal back to the human realm is a few metres behind him. His eyebrows both fly up. It’s almost like he expected you to protest. He clears his throat awkwardly.

“Good! Good. I will. I’ll… I’ll have fun. So then… I’ll see you off and then I’ll go back.” He says quickly. You nod and glance at Jungkook, who continues to watch the two of you. He’s almost curious, in the way he watches the interaction between the two of you.

“Let’s go then.” You tell the pixie, who nods and lands on your shoulder, his favourite seat.

“See ya, Mr. Guardian.” He says, as a farewell to Jin. Jin squints at him and offers him an acknowledging nod.

“If anything happens to her, I’m tying you to a bug-zapper.” He tells Jungkook, almost cheerfully. He turns and regards you, with a half-smile. “And don’t think I won’t find out if you do anything stupid. Taehyung knows this realm very well and can definitely find your body.”

Despite the dark humour, you find yourself smiling. You shake your head.

“Just go, already.” You urge him. You hesitate for a moment, before stepping in close and pulling him into a hug. Jin smells familiar and warm- like the scent of home mixed with expensive cologne. You don’t know how long it will be before you see him again, but you don’t like leaving things between you on this note. Jungkook makes a noise of annoyance, launching himself backwards off your shoulder to avoid the hug. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

It takes Jin a moment, before he snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you in tightly. He tucks his face into the crook of your neck and shoulder.

“I know.” He answers, before pulling away. “Now hurry up. You’ve got to get back and apologise to your mother asap, you hear me?”

You nod, before retrieving your hello kitty backpack and slinging it once more over your shoulders. Jin watches the two of you with an unreadable expression as you finally turn away and begin to march eastwards, where you know you’ll find the first landmark on your hike.

He watches until you are both gone from view before turning back towards the portal.

After all, you both have separate paths to take.

#kim seokjin x reader #jin x reader #kim seokjin scenario #castlebangtan #bts scenario #writing

[tsrookie]

Illicit Affairs

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Alyssa Brooks)

A/N: Hey everyone! So this is my first time writing a fic and... I’m pretty nervous😅 Massive thanks to @kaavyaethanramsey and @ohramsey for pre-reading this fic. Thanks so much for your support you guys!

Song Inspiration: Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift

Word Count: 2463, so yeah, I went a lil overboard😬

Warnings: One curse word. Pretty tame besides that.

Summary: My version of what might’ve went on in MC’s head after the kiss in Chapter 8. And uh, excuse the Taylor Swift references😁

——————————————

Make sure nobody sees you leave

Hood over your head, keep your eyes down

Tell your friends you’re out for a run

You’ll be flushed when you return

She watched the lights of Boston city pass in a blur as her head reeled from what had just happened. Ethan Ramsey had kissed her. Not the other way around like it had been for a very long time. She was still flushed from the encounter and had no idea what to make of it.

She got out of the cab and walked to her apartment in a haze. “God I hope no one’s still awake.”, she thought to herself as she was about to open the door. But as fate would have it, Jackie was curled up on the couch with her phone. “Where on earth have you been?”, she asked, as Alyssa’s mind struggled to give a proper answer. She’d told Sienna about her whereabouts and had hoped that she would’ve given the others an explanation. “Just went for a walk. Needed to clear my head after that match.”, she finally said. Jackie skeptically raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t ask anything else. She was grateful for that, as she had enough on her mind already.

Take the road less traveled by

Tell yourself you can always stop

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots

She flopped down on her bed as her heart raced. “Why? Of all the 7 billion people on the planet I could’ve fallen for, why did it have to be my boss? Anyone, just about anyone else would’ve been great.” She hated herself for this reason ever since they first kissed in Miami. Her heart always aspired to rise higher, but the more she had to lose along with it. Be it in her career, or a relationship.

She knew that it would be hard for her family to see her leave for Boston, since her brother had also left a couple of years ago to London and could barely get enough time to make a call once in three months. She didn’t blame him though, he was her big brother and she loved him no matter what. But it broke her heart to see the looks on her parents’ faces when they found out that she was going to leave Cedar Cove too. They’d always been a tight-knit family and her parents had hoped that she would find a good job somewhere close by. But getting matched to Edenbrook was her dream come true and they didn’t want her to give up on it as they’d supported her from the moment she’d decided that she wanted to become a doctor.

She didn’t want to lose them. She was scared that she wouldn’t be able to stay in touch with them if she left, but thankfully, she managed to squeeze in some time every weekend to make a FaceTime call.

Then came Ethan Ramsey. Her medical hero, her inspiration for becoming a doctor, the reason she applied to Edenbrook. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that she would spend the second year of her residency working under him in one of the most prestigious diagnostics teams in the country, and possibly, even the world.

But ever since she first saw him for just Ethan, and not the world famous Dr. Ramsey, her heart longed to fill that missing void in him. She saw past his name and saw him with all his flaws and imperfections. The real Ethan Ramsey was nothing like the man she’d idolized throughout med school. He was an utter mess. But he was the mess that she wanted. She could’ve let go and focused only on her life anytime she wished. But she didn’t. The path of dating a superior was always avoided and forbidden, but she didn’t care. She wanted to be there for him, whether he liked it or not.

And that’s the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings and longing stares

It’s born from just one single glance

But it dies and it dies and it dies

A million little times

Her mind wandered back to the night Ethan returned from the Amazon.

One look into his ocean-blue eyes and she was a goner. Two months of trying to bury her feelings, all wasted in one moment. And she knew he felt the same way too.

She’d mentally cursed herself for staying past last call with him as she walked with him into the beer garden. She knew that he’d missed her like hell from the longing glance he’d given her when she had run her fingers through his new beard. “I know I’m getting rejected, so why the fuck am I trying to have a conversation with him?!”, she’d reprimanded herself while she tried to get him to say why he hadn’t stayed in touch with her for two whole months. “How am I supposed to push you to be everything you can be if I...” Those words broke her heart all over again. He’d trailed off like this in the exact same way back in Miami. Her heart shattered for the millionth time since that first kiss, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She put on a brave face as she walked away from him, having no idea how she was supposed to ever look at him again without longing and pain evident in her eyes.

Leave the perfume on the shelf

That you picked out just for him

So you leave no trace behind

Like you don’t even exist

The day after the board had decided to solicit high-profile patients was one of the worst days of her life. He hadn’t said a single word to her since he came out of the boardroom. She was consumed by guilt. Not because she’d found a way to save the team and the hospital, but the fact that she had hurt Ethan and broken his trust in her in the process.

The next few days were hard. June and Baz were being as supportive of her as they could, but even they just barely skirted around Ethan, as no one wanted to face his wrath. He was an absolute monster to the poor interns, and she felt terrible knowing that it was all because of her. Sothy in particular, had only asked Ethan as to whether he had seen Dr. Rosario, and was chewed out in the atrium in front of everybody for it. Needless to say, Elijah was pretty upset for the rest of the day and it took a lot of convincing to get him to go on his planned date with Phoebe that evening. Alyssa felt horrible that everyone around her had to suffer Ethan’s harsh behaviour ten times fold because of her.

She had to, quite literally, run out of the office once a team meeting got over so that she didn’t have to be alone with him. And she only did her paperwork at home and in the doctors lounge, since she didn’t want to hurt him by leaving any traces of her work in his office. Ethan pretended as though they were never something special. He never treated her in any way less than any of his other colleagues, but his blue eyes that once filled her with warmth, now reserved a coldness that was meant just for her. Quite a few days passed with him not even acknowledging her. She felt like she didn’t even truly exist to him anymore.

Take the words for what they are

A dwindling, mercurial high

A drug that only worked

The first few hundred times

Leland Bloom’s case was something she personally loathed. Ethan had almost reverted back to his normal self when this case was assigned to the team. Then it was back to square one. But she wasn’t afraid of facing him anymore. The look of his face when she called him out for being a spoiled child would forever be etched in her mind. She was proud of herself for it, and deep down she knew that he was too.

His mood constantly changed whenever the team discussed Leland’s case. But he at least didn’t look at her like a criminal anymore, and that lightened her heart a little.

She would be forever grateful for Leland’s work ethic though, as it finally gave her a chance to openly talk to Ethan on the yacht, a task they’d both been avoiding for weeks. He’d tried to maintain an indifferent facade, but of course she’d made sure that he miserably failed. When he’d told her that she made it incredibly difficult to stay focused, she had almost laughed out loud in joy. That was a clear indicator that his walls were coming down, and that they were back to their old banter. He had made hundreds of reasons and excuses to push her away in the past, and he was slowly running out of them. “You can only run away so many times Ethan.”, she’d thought to herself as she looked at him fondly, glad that he wasn’t angry at her anymore.

And that’s the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings and stolen stares

They show their truth one single time

But they lie and they lie and they lie

A million little times

Her mind came back to the present as she remembered the kiss they’d shared a few hours ago. The kiss he’d initiated. A few weeks ago if someone had told her that this would happen, she would’ve probably told them to go for a mental health checkup. But it had actually happened. “Ethan Ramsey took the initiative to kiss me.” She let those words finally sink in.

She was supposed to be ecstatic. She was supposed to be jumping like a maniac in her room. “So why am I not?”, she thought to herself.

The answer was simple: she was scared. Scared of being pushed away again. Scared of Ethan lying to himself and to her by saying that it didn’t mean anything.

She was done with the whole “stolen stares” and “painful glances” thing. They’d both shown their true feelings tonight, and she was not going to go back to the start again. “I only hope that he feels the same way and doesn’t run again.”, she sighed as she thought back to her first day at Edenbrook...

And you wanna scream

Don’t call me “kid,” don’t call me “baby”

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

You showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else

“You. Rookie. Get in here.” Those were the first words he’d ever spoken to her. She was feeling a little insulted at being called a rookie at that moment. She never thought she would miss that nickname so terribly ever since her second year started. Sure, it was undermining her in the beginning, but she knew that it became a term of endearment for both of them as time passed.

She’d realized how much it actually meant to her the night she visited his apartment after her suspension. She knew that he was trying to being distant as soon as he called her ‘Brooks’.

There were plenty of guys who had hit on her in the past. Heck, Bryce and Rafael had pretty obvious crushes on her too back in her intern year. But none of that mattered to her after Miami. She just couldn’t look into anyone else’s eyes other than Ethan’s clear blue. Those eyes made her feel like she was flying miles above the ground. They made her feel like she was at home. Sure, to everyone else, those eyes would only show harshness. But ever since she’d gone with him to follow his mother, she’d seen nothing but an uncharacteristic tender look in his eyes that he had last given her when she’d won her ethics hearing. She definitely wasn’t complaining about it.

Don’t call me “kid,” don’t call me “baby”

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else

Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled the day she’d found out that Ethan had left, or rather, fled, to the Amazon forest. She was beside herself, sick with worry in hopes that he would be alright, and hurt beyond measure that he didn’t even bother to say goodbye.

She’d felt like an absolute fool. An idiot, who believed that they would be alright, as long as they just focused on their patients. She was broken, to find out that he had taken such an extreme measure to put distance between them.

“I am so so sorry Alyssa. I told him not to go, but he was very insistent.”, Naveen had tried to console her when she had marched up to his office as soon as the announcement of Ethan’s departure had been made in the atrium. She didn’t blame Naveen though. Ethan was as stubborn as a mule, and there was nothing that could’ve been changed even if she had known beforehand about his decision.

Sienna had tried, in vain, to set her up with some cute guys, but her heart just said no to every single one of them. Whenever she tried to give them a chance, her heart just kept telling her, “He isn’t Ethan.” No one could ever have even a small part of her heart since it completely belonged to him.

And you know damn well

For you, I would ruin myself

A million little times

Her heart hurt worse than ever. But surprisingly, she liked the pain. She wasn’t the kind of person who liked an easy answer. That was why she admired Ethan. He loved the challenges of being a doctor. He loved the puzzle. And so did she.

She pondered over her thoughts as a query struck her mind: “Do I love him?” She always knew that her feelings for him were strong and something special. But she’d never thought of the L-word before.

She thought about why she came to Edenbrook. She wanted to become the best doctor she could be. She wanted to make a difference for the people who had nowhere to go. But now, she was stuck in a situation where she was willing to risk it all for her boss. “I think I do love him...”, she thought. “No, I know I love him. He’s worth the risk. I’m not going to ruin my career by being with him. I will fight for this. For us.”, she said to herself with a determined mindset. She loved Ethan Ramsey with all her heart, and she was not gonna lose him no matter what. As exhaustion finally overtook her, she closed her eyes with the knowledge of her promise. She was going to fight for them, she definitely was.

———————————

Hope you guys liked it!😊 Let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist. And any constructive criticism is much appreciated! I have an idea of making this into a series, so do let me know if you wanna see more song-inspired fics🎶

Taglist: @kaavyaethanramsey @ohramsey @aylamwrites @caseyvalentineramsey @starrystarrytrouble @dxnicaramsey @decadentwinnerjudgedream @nithya @mrsmatsuo @choicesolivia @rookiefromedenbrook

#ethan ramsey #dr ethan ramsey x mc #ethan jonah ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart #ethan x mc #dr ethan jonah ramsey #open heart second year #mercy writes

[nikibogwater]

The Norse Chaos Chronicles: Chapter Four--In which by some Easter miracle, the Incompetent Vikings defeat the Elder

Been a few days since my last update in regards to Team Bogwater’s exploits in the world of Valheim. This is mostly because we actually had a couple of play sessions that were relatively calm.

We actually did manage to expand to the Black Forest across the sea and set up a functioning base there, where we lived in somewhat cramped quarters for a while until we had gathered enough minerals to enter the Bronze Age (and by cramped, I mean all three of us were crammed into what was basically a single king-sized bed because we failed to make the house big enough to accommodate a reasonable amount of space between each of our beds--clearly some home renovations are in order).

I, being a very kind and responsible sister, spent some time on the server by myself making our base more secure with Stake Walls, setting up a sufficient space for storage, and gathering food, all tasks that the others didn’t seem too excited to take care of. I was expecting the boys to notice and at least tell me that my additions were helpful.

I know for a fact that they at least noticed, because when I joined them for this most recent play session, Gustav had decided that what our base needed now was a spike pit around the front gate, which I know wouldn’t have occurred to him if I hadn’t put up the spiky walls. I was never told that my additions were helpful or appreciated, but considering that there were far fewer deaths happening close to our base, I suspect they were nonetheless. 

Niki: ...Is....Do we really need the spike trap? Like, is it necessary? Gustav: How could you even ask something like that?! I have never been more upset in my life.  Niki: It’s just...like, there’s a bridge that goes right over it. Gustav: Yeah. So we can get across it. Niki: Right but so could the Greydwarves. Gustav: Greydwarves aren’t that smart. (20 minutes later) Gustav, trying and failing to shove a Greydwarf into the pit: You guys, I may have overestimated how unintelligent Greydwarves are.

Gustav got exactly one (1) Greydwarf to fall into the pit and die. The only other thing he caught was Tripe. 

Okay, well, he did manage to get a Troll to walk into the spikes, but then it just smashed them all to pieces. It was at this point that Gustav finally accepted the reality of the fact that a spike pit was completely useless to us in this particular area.

Gustav, filling in the pit with rocks: Man, why didn’t one of you guys warn me that the spike trap was a dumb idea? Niki and Tripe: Yeah, that was our bad. 🙄 (10 minutes later) Niki, just peacefully mining copper in the forest: Wait, so where did the Troll go- *gets slammed by the Troll before I can even finish voicing the question* GUSTAV, WHY DIDN’T YOU KILL IT?!

Tripe and Gustav upgraded to Bronze Gear and Troll Hide (I brought mine over from my single player world to save time and resources). I was still trying to gather up enough Bronze to make a Cultivator so we could eat something other than Cooked Meat and Queen’s Jam, when suddenly I was informed that we were getting into a boat (we upgraded from the raft, finally) and going to kill the Elder.

Tripe: Get in losers, we’re going to kill the next boss. Gustav: *jumps in without any hesitation* Niki: Wait what?! That’s a terrible idea! (5 minutes later) Niki, sulking in the front of the boat: Did I mention this is a really bad idea? Gustav and Tripe: It’s fine. How bad can it possibly be?

Horrible. Absolutely horrible. That’s how bad it was. 

We had rather unlucky RNG with our world generation, and the Elder’s altar was a good 1,000 miles away from us. Which meant a significant portion of this play session was actually just sitting in the boat and watching the scenery pass. 

It sounds like a pleasant time, but I was absolutely terrified the whole way there. 

Gustav: ...Oh hey, we discovered the ocean. Niki, who has seen videos of Sea Serpents absolutely wrecking well-equipped players: BACK TO THE SHORE. GO BACK. DO NOT MOVE INTO OPEN WATERS. GUSTAV, FOR THE LOVE, GO BACK TO THE SHORELINE! (Passing a Plains biome) Niki: ...Did you guys know there are one-hit death bugs in the Plains Gustav and Tripe: Will you please calm down

We happened to run across Haldur the merchant shortly before reaching our destination. Since Valheim doesn’t tie your inventory to individual worlds, I went ahead and bought a few things to bring back to my single-player world (namely the fishing gear). I hopped off the server for a minute to transfer the items, and while I was in my world, I grabbed some extra food (the boys are terrible about keeping food in their inventories) and, since I figured we’d need all the help we could get, grabbed a few jugs of mead without really paying attention to what effects they gave.

When I came back into the server, Tripe and Gustav were setting up our temporary base so we could reset our spawn points. Right. Smack. Dab. Next to the altar. As in, when the Elder spawned, he was going to basically be standing directly on top of it. 

Niki: ...You guys that seems like a poorly-conceived plan. Gustav and Tripe: No, it’s fine. Stop worrying. 

At this point, I was pretty resigned to the disaster that was inevitably going to unfold, so I just grabbed some wood and set up my own shack a decent ways away without making any further attempts to convince the other two. 

Gustav: Niki, where are you? We’re all ready. Niki: I just...I’ll be there in a minute, hold on. Tripe: What are you doing? Niki: ...I’m building a house. Gustav: YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR OWN HOUSE WHEN WE HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD ONE RIGHT HERE?! RUDE! Niki: I DON’T WANNA RESPAWN AND THEN JUST IMMEDIATELY BE SQUISHED AGAIN, ALRIGHT?!

Houses built and weapons readied, we all gathered at the altar. I chucked the Ancient Seeds into the flame and immediately booked it out of the vicinity as fast as my meaty Vikings legs could carry me, frantically downing a jug of mead as I went. The Elder spawned in and within seconds, absolute carnage reigned supreme.

Gustav died within the first two minutes and spent the next ten trying to make it back to his grave. Which he couldn’t really do because his respawn point was right next to the Elder, and emerging from the house naked of all armor and gear was basically an instant death sentence.

Gustav: I’ve died six times trying to get my gear back. We really shouldn’t have built the house this close to the altar. Niki, why didn’t you warn us? Niki, fleeing from the massive thorny vines that the Elder is trying to impale her on: I hate you guys so much right now.

I was hanging back as much as I could, dealing damage with my Finewood Bow, but the Elder has a huge range of attack, and it had me down to single digits in health within less than a minute. And it was at this point that I realized I had majorly screwed up.

The mead that I had been frantically chugging in hopes of gaining better health regen? It was actually slowing my health regen and only increasing my stamina.

Niki: YOU GUYS THE MEAD WAS A MISTAKE. OH MY GOSH, IT’S MINUS FIFTY HEALTH REGEN, NOT PLUS! OH CRAP CRAP CRAP--I’M LITERALLY SLOSHED OVER HERE! Gustav: WAIT, NIKI CAME INTO THIS FIGHT DRUNK?! Niki: I DIDN’T NOTICE THE MINUS SIGN!!!! *yeets the rest of the mead into the ocean before meeting my first demise at the hands of the Elder*

Miraculously, I only died twice during the fight (again, mostly because my respawn point was away from the altar, meaning I had a clearer path back to my graves when I respawned). I have no idea how many times the other two died. Towards the end we were also being bombarded by hoards of Greydwarves, which only made things ten times worse.

Gustav: Have either of you seen my corpse? I mean, I have several lying around here at this point. 

I don’t even know how we managed it, but we did finally take out the Elder and received our Swamp Keys. We all stood around the scene of destruction for a minute, just kind of collecting ourselves. 

Tripe: ...I feel like that could’ve gone better. Gustav: Yeah.  It’s just, Niki goes and does all this research and watches videos and then she doesn’t bother to tell us not to put our house so close to the- Niki: *punches him*

The trip home was blessedly uneventful. Tripe did decide to cut across the ocean instead of following the shoreline in order to save time. I was 90% certain we were all going to be eaten by a Serpent, but we were fine. 

We made it back to our camp only to find a Greydwarf Shaman mucking around in our front yard.

Gustav: What is he--is he barfing on our house...? NO, HE’S SMASHING THE CART! OH YOU SON OF A-- *takes a flying leap out of the boat and tears through the shallows, furiously waving his spear*

The Shaman poisoned Tripe, who had a mild panic attack because his respawn point was still back at the Elder’s Altar, and if he died now he would have to walk all the way back here. 

Tripe, with 1 HP left: NO I’M NOT DYING LIKE THIS! *dives headfirst into the nearest bed*

So yes. That is what I was doing this weekend, in case any of you were wondering where I disappeared to. I am hoping to spend some time working on ToA stuff today, but I again, I think it is important to record these events for posterity...and perhaps as a cautionary tale for others.

#niki rambles #gaming #valheim

[ejzah]

A/N: This chapter deals with the second part of Little Angels. I tried to trim it down to scenes where it could be from Deeks’ POV.

***

The Agent and the Lawyer, Part 13

“What did Callen say?” Kensi asked, glancing at Deeks briefly before she returned her eyes to the road.

“Andre Maragos has requested a lawyer,” he said dryly. “Do you think he’d accept me?” Kensi snorted at that, glancing at him again. Her eyes were appraising.

“Well, you certainly can look the part of a lawyer a guy like Maragos would hire.”

“Again, not sure if that’s a compliment,” he said with a frown. Instead of making another joke at his expense, she said,

“I really am glad you’re here today. You’re making this whole thing a lot less terrible.”

“Anytime.” He glanced behind them where the transport van was following. “So what do we do if Lucas doesn’t actually know or show us where the bodies are?”

Kensi’s eyes narrowed on the road, her expression deadly. Suddenly, Deeks was very glad that he wasn’t on the receiving end of her rage.

“Then you might have to stop me from shooting him.”

***

“I think this is one of the most horrific things I’ve ever seen,” Deeks muttered to no one in particular. And he’d been party to some pretty awful stuff.

Lucas Maragos had lead them directly to the edge of a small hill, radiating smugness the entire time. It wasn’t clear if he was enjoying bossing them around, or having the opportunity to finally show off his work.

Either way, Deeks was reconsidering his position on guns. He sighed as several forensic experts dug up the spots Maragos had pointed out.

“Mr. Deeks, Agent!” A woman dressed in protective gear said, motioning for them to come over. “We found something.” If her expression was anything to go by, it wasn’t pleasant. Then again, that’s what they were hoping for.

Kensi, who’d been talking with Maragos, hurried over. They both glanced in the small grave, where the skeleton of cat lay.

“Well, now we know he wasn’t lying about the cat part.” Deeks said, holding back a shudder.

“You should call Sam,” Kensi told him, a deep frown growing between her eyebrows. “I’m going to see if I can’t get anything else out of Maragos.”

“Sam, you need to get out here,” he said when the agent picked up.

“So far they’ve found the remains of five cats,” Kensi said once Callen and Sam had arrived. “Lucas isn’t being particularly helpful at the moment. He keeps repeating that his brother is responsible.”

Sam and Callen shared a dark look, something unspoken flowing between them. There was clearly something going on with Sam, but now was definitely not the time to ask about.

“Any other sites?” Sam demanded.

“You should ask my brother, these are his,” Lucas responded, apparently trying to appear genuine.

“You seem to be enjoying the attention. Give me the keys.” He directed the last part to Kensi, grabbing the keys to Lucas’ cuffs from her.

“Is that a good idea?” Deeks asked as Sam unlocked the handcuffs. Lucas’ legs were still bound, but Deeks didn’t trust the man not to make a run for it. Or try something more violent.

Kensi caught his eye, shaking her head as Sam dragged Maragos several feet away, ignoring the man’s protests. Sam seemed to just barely be holding himself back from inflicting physical damage. Callen watched it all with obvious concern, but didn’t attempt to intervene.

“Does Sam have a personal history with this guy or something?”

“No,” Callen answered shortly. Sam returned a few minutes with Lucas, who actually seemed a little frightened and was in a much more sharing mood

Deeks could only imagine what Sam had used to gain his cooperation and that worried him.

How strong could the team’s case be if they resorted to threats and potential violence?

***

“What do we now?” Deeks asked, as they drove to the mission.

They’d found the remains of the third girl who was originally buried, but not Amanda. Both Lucas and Andre had proven uncooperative, blaming the other for the murders.

Then Andre had made an ill-planned attempt to leave the country with his family. It was certainly suspicious behavior, but they’d taken a swab from Andre and it didn’t match any of the DNA on the remains.

They also had a signed statement from Andre’s mistress and a home video the two had made. Deeks could have happily lived without ever seeing Andre Maragos naked. To say that Sam had not been pleased when they interrupted his interrogation with Andre to tell him would be an understatement.

“We look at the evidence again. We look for what we missed before,” she said and then sighed deeply. “And we pray that we come up with something before Amanda runs out of time.”

As they watched the video of Amanda for the countless time, it was not lost on Deeks that they were grasping at straws.

“Hey, take a look at this,” Sam said suddenly, pointing to a bare finger that was just visible at the edge of the video. There was a note of something close to excitement in his voice. “When he picked up the camera, he took off his glove.”

“Different MO,” Callen said. “Makes sense, glove would have been shredded after all the digging.” Sam wasn’t about to be talked down from whatever idea he had. Kensi walked over as Deeks stood up, to get a better look at the screen.

“Hear me out on this, G. What does this guy do with his gloves afterwards?”

“Well, first thing you would, uh, burn ‘em, shred ‘em. It’s full of DNA.”

“What if he’s going fast, got careless?” Sam continued, sounding like he was telling a story. “Left a glove behind, like in a box or in the dirt in the hole.”

“The case is closed,” Deeks said immediately. “I mean, we catch him the second we find that glove.”

“But there is no glove,” Kensi said, echoing Deeks’ own thoughts.

“We don’t know that,” Sam said and Deeks heard warning bells going off in his head. “Maybe neither does the killer. He’s going fast, he’s scared, he tosses everything only to realize, he left a glove behind.”

“Right, but he didn’t,” Deeks said, not liking where this was going at all. What Sam was suggesting was sketchy at best.

“We could make him believe that he did,” Callen said, nodding in agreement with Sam.

“What if it doesn’t stand up in court though?” Deeks asked, thinking of how he’d tear apart “evidence” like that.

“We’ll do whatever it takes to make it stick,” Kensi said as Sam instructed Eric to modify the video. He turned them out for a minute, distracted by his concerns.

“You’ll need to sell it to Lucas Maragos, Deeks,” Sam said, drawing him out of his thoughts. “Make him believe that the glove is real. We’ll do the same with his brother.”

“Me?” Deeks repeated, startled by the suggestion, especially coming from Sam.

“You’ve already got a connection with him. It’ll be easier than if Callen or I do it. Kensi will back you up if you need it.”

***

“I do not like this,” Deeks muttered, his voice barely audible as they waited in the interview room again.

“You’ll be fine,” Kensi said. “And it’s for Amanda.” She flashed a warning look his way as the sound of guards drew closer and he pressed his lips together, holding back any further comments.

He pulled in a slow, shallow breath, trying to calm himself. This was no different that cross examining a difficult witness. He just had to play to his audience, frame the story they needed to hear, and pretend he believed every word he said.

Deeks snapped his eyes back open the second the guards were at the door, adopting a relaxed posture as they led Lucas in. Kensi said nothing as he opened the laptop on the table, started the DVD with Amanda’s video, and sat next to Lucas Maragos.

“See that little sucker right there? It’s a glove that got left in the dirt,” he told the man. Lucas’ eyes were laser focused to the screen, a change from his earlier careless attitude. “And it is filled with DNA.”

He didn’t glance at Kensi, putting all of his attention on Lucas. Deeks hoped he wasn’t playing it up too much. Maragos cleared his throat after a moment, now looking anywhere but at the laptop.

“I don’t know why you’re showing me this,” he said. Kensi leaned forward then.

“Because when we get a DNA match, we’ll be able to find your partner. And believe me, we’ll get him to turn on you,” she said, her matter of fact tone chilling.

“You can take him back,” Deeks called to the guards. “But let us know if he has decides to talk. Who knows, he might be able to escape a death sentence.”

It was only after they were outside again that he allowed himself to let out a shaking breath.

“You ok?” Kensi asked, eyeing him with concern.

“Yeah.” He was surprised to find it was true.

“Eric’s calling,” she said, putting her phone to her ear and had a rushed and confusing conversation. She shoved the phone in her pocket and started jogging towards the SUV. “Eric says we need to get to Angeles Forest now. Callen and Sam are following someone in one of Andre’s vehicles.”

***

“I can’t believe it was Andre’s kids,” Deeks said, shaking his head as Kensi returned from putting the younger boy in the back of an LAPD cruiser. He knew they were hardly the first to commit a heinous crime, but it was still shocking.

“I guess they learned a lot from their Uncle,” Kensi said darkly.

“What will happen to them?” Deeks had defended juvenile clients before, though never one charged with attempted murder. And in his own experience, the courts could be pretty brutal when it came to kids.

“Well, I’d guess their dad is going to higher them the best lawyers he can find,” Kensi started. “And then it depends on how they’re charged. I could see the FBI wanting to try them as adults, but I doubt it’ll go through.”

“I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed,” he said and Kensi rolled her eyes.

“C’mon, we’ve got lots of reports to file.

“Not me, I’m just a legal consultant.” Kensi made a rude noise at this.

“Nice try. You never get out of paperwork. And if you don’t do it, Hetty will hunt you down. And no one wants Hetty hunting them down.

***

“You know, you did really well today. I was surprised, but you did good,” Kensi told him as they walked out of the mission, taking their time.

It had been eye opening to watch Deeks question Lucas. She had expected him to hold back and certainly hadn’t considered that he would taunt Lucas. The images he’d produced had been horrifying, and affective during their first interview.

“I think you’ll find I’m full of surprises, sugar bear,” he said, grinning that annoying smirk of his. Kensi held up a hand, turning to face him so he was forced to stop in the middle of the hall.

“Woah, sugar bear? I don’t think so.”

“What, I think it’s very appropriate. You’re very sweet and-“

“And you are absolutely forbidden from calling me that anywhere another person might hear it,” she finished for Deeks, shaking her head. Of course, now she’d left herself wide open to being called “sugar bear” in private.

“What about “Princess”?” he asked, undaunted by her implied wrath. She started walking again before he could see her slight smile. Their shoulders brushed as they walked, an unnecessary physical reminder of Deeks’ presence. Technically, it violated the rules of their bet, but Deeks didn’t mention it.

“Definitely not.” Before he could suggest something even more ridiculous she said, “Be serious for a second. Ok? I know that defusing tension is a big thing for you, but I really need to know how you’re doing.”

He sighed and this time he was the one to stop. He tossed his head back for a second and it was amazing how suddenly his face transformed. She saw the weariness and a surprising amount of anger that he’d hidden for the majority of the case.

“I’m...good,” he decided after a pause. “Which I know is weird to say. I didn’t realize how much I needed to see someone like Lucas Maragos get what he deserves.”

“So we didn’t scare you off with our serial killers?” She was actually curious; he’d been obviously horrified, but not nearly as much as she’d expected. He’d dealt with the possibility of seeing girls buried alive better than many seasoned Agents would.

“I mean, the kids following in their uncle’s footsteps is pretty awful, but again, I’m glad they’re not out there hurting more people. I don’t see nearly enough of that as a lawyer. And it’s even worse if you’re a public defender or district attorney.”

“And here I thought you’d be running out of here after a couple days,” she said.

They were in the parking garage now, which was mostly deserted and had stopped walking again. Kensi found she was reluctant to go to her own vehicle.

“You’re not going to get rid of me that easily Kensi Marie Blye,” he said, then made a face that she recognized meant he was holding something back.

“What?”

“Nothing...just um,” He rubbed his chin before continuing, “How often do you threaten people or make up evidence to get results?” She nodded, knowing he was thinking of the way Sam had treated Maragos and the planted glove.

“Sometimes you do what you have to,” she said simply. “The important thing is that we found Amanda in the end.” He still looked serious, so she cleared her throat and added, “And now, I think you owe me some Mexican. I’m calling in my first special delivery. I expect it on my doorstep in an hour.” She did a smug little dance to accompany her victory.

Deeks rolled his eyes, chuckling under his breath.

“Yes, technically you did win,” he agreed. “Although I would point out that if this wasn’t such a tense case, you would have been all over me.”

“Those sound like the words of a loser,” Kensi teased, ignoring the thought of being “all over him”. Deeks scrunched his face at her.

“You are a very annoying winner.” Kensi grinned at him. His hair was more disheveled than normal after tramping around in the heat all day and his light blue shirt was now untucked. He looked anything but a high price lawyer. He also looked completely delectable.

“But as I am a man of my word-“ Kensi grasped the sides of his face, cutting him off mid-word as she kissed him roughly, pushing her tongue past his lips and letting out a sigh when his hands settled on her waist.

“Oops, I guess I lost,” Kensi gasped out several moments later. She stepped back from him, her skin feeling flushed and a deep need running though her body. His answering grin was breathtaking as he pulled her back to his chest.

#ncis la fanfiction #marty deeks #kensi blye #sam hanna #g callen #the agent and the lawyer #part 13 #au #little angels #ejzah fanfiction

[hottestthingalive]

Bluebells (2)

Chapter 2: Bulbs

Ao3 Link here.

Chapter 1 here.

Notes: Yay, second chapter is here! Expect the next one... any time between next week and a year. 

Plot: Virgil isn’t okay (I promise), life sucks, and things get gayer. 

Tw: Cursing, disappearances, mental and physical abuse

-

Morning came in the beeping of a shrill alarm.

Scratch that, Virgil decided as he sat up blearily, shutting off the alarm immediately. Doesn’t count as morning if it’s still dark out. 

He grabbed his phone, wincing as the bright light shone into his retinas. 2:31 A.M, the screen said. He was doing pretty well, then -- as long as he got to the coffee place by three, he’d be able to complete a four-hour shift in time to get to school at seven thirty. 

Ugh. He hated the night shift, but his boss liked having the cafe open 24/7, and he ought to be grateful; it was the only time (other than the weekends) that Virgil was able to actually work at, and due to the shitty time the pay was pretty good. It even made up for the lack of tips. 

He got dressed quickly, throwing on his patched sweatshirt over his ripped jeans and torn shirt. Makeup was fast, too, just some cheap foundation and dark eyeshadow under his eyes to hide how crappy he’d been looking lately. No sleep will do that to a guy, he thought, doing his best to hide the dark shadows under his eyes, or at least make them look like eyeshadow. Say what you would, being an emo these days had some perks -- people thought the exhaustion and ragged clothes were for aesthetic, or some bullshit like that. 

Virgil was out the door quickly, locking it behind him and tucking his keys into his pocket. The boards on the porch creaked under his sneakers, and he grimaced at the noise. Creepy as all hell, that. 

As he walked in the darkness towards the better part of town, avoiding the patches of light given by the streetlamps (What if I get mugged?), he reached into his pocket and pulled out his headphones, plugging them into his old phone. Sure, it was dangerous to listen to music while walking alone at two in the morning, but this particular street bordered the woods, and no one wanted to cause a commotion near the home of the fey. There was a reason all the rich homes were in the center of Torbrook, sheltered from their mythical neighbours by human shields.

The ironically-called Sleep was standing at the counter when he arrived, sipping from an obnoxiously large cup and wearing his sunglasses inside. Because of course he was.

“You’re early, Anxiety,” he drawled, tossing a black apron across the counter. “Go sit down. You want a coffee?”

“I’m here to work,” Virgil deadpanned, tying on the apron, “not to buy shitty coffee.”

“Listen, we get a free drink for every shift, and you look like you need it,” Sleep retorted. “Do you ever sleep at all?”

“I need the free drink for later, when I get off,” he said, avoiding the question as he set his bag down in the back room, using his extra time to check his phone. 

Sunnyside had left him a voicemail. 

“Hey, Anxiety,” a voice said into his headphones. “It’s Beck, from the Sunnyside Hospital for Elderly Care. You still have some unpaid bills from last month -- do you want us to email them to you, or mail them? Please get back to us as soon as possible. Thanks!”

Crap. 

“Everything okay?” Sleep asked, giving him a concerned look from the doorway. “Need me to stick around for a bit?”

“I’m good,” he said, mind scrambling for an explanation. “My, uh, my grandma forgot I had a shift today. She got worried.”

“I’m surprised Robin’s even letting you work here. She was always so protective,” Sleep grinned. “I haven’t seen her around town lately. How’s she doing?

Protective? the voice in the back of Virgil’s head screamed. She's in a hospital! How is she supposed to be protective when she thinks I’m living with my aunt and that her shitty insurance is paying all these bills, while as far as anyone else knows she’s just getting a bit reclusive in her old age?

“She’s good,” he said, forcing a smile onto his face as he went to stand behind the counter. “Bossy as ever.”

“Tell her I said hi,” his coworker nodded. “Alright, if you’re good, Anx, I’d better get going. I want to get a short nap in before school starts.”

“Got it,” he agreed, standing. “See you in English.”

“Bye, girl!” Sleep trilled, waving as the door slammed shut behind him. 

He dropped the smile almost instantly, glaring down at his purple nails. Four hours. He just had to get through four hours. 

“Morning, Anx!” chirped Morality, coming through the doors of the cafe. Virgil sighed internally. Morality was always so cheerful. It didn’t make any sense. “Can I just get that nice caramel thing you made for me last time?” He passed his thermos over the counter, still smiling. 

“Sure,” he nodded, taking Morality’s cup and grabbing his own. His coworkers, Oak and Swift, had come in half an hour ago, thankfully early, so he passed the containers to Swift as he untied his apron. “One caramel latte, and for me, as much espresso as you can get into a cup.”

“Anxiety, you’re going to give yourself a heart attack,” Oak deadpanned, but she took his place at the counter. “Have fun at school, kid.”

“When has school ever been fun?” Swift pointed out, before xe turned to face Anxiety. “I’ll give you three shots.”

“Five.”

“Three.”

“Four,” Oak said, “but no more coffee for the rest of the day.”

“Fine, parental figures,” he rolled his eyes, picking up his backpack. “Four.”

“Hey, I thought I was your parental figure friend!” Morality cried, managing to look betrayed even as he giggled. 

“You’re the paternal figure, popstar,” Virgil told him, hopping over the counter to protests from both Swift and Oak. They didn’t have to wait long for their drinks, and soon the two of them were in Morality’s car, sipping on the life-giving substance. 

Morality was unusually quiet, had been since they left the cafe, and finally Virgil broke the silence to ask “Hey, everything okay?”

“Oh, it’s fine, kiddo,” he grinned, but the smile quickly faded. “It… It just sounded like you made a pun with my name.”

“...Your real name?” Virgil said, blood running cold. “I’m so sorry, Mor, I didn’t -- I swear, I don’t know it--”

“No, of course you don’t,” Morality nodded, smiling again, more genuinely this time. “I’ve just been a bit jumpy lately. The forest’s been so… quiet. We’re entering spring -- shouldn’t we be seeing more faeries?”

“Only Seelie,” Virgil shrugged absentmindedly, staring out the passenger-side window at the foreboding trees in the distance. “Unseelie will mostly be returning to their realm for the winter.”

“I don’t know how you remember that stuff,” the other teenager sighed. “I can never keep track.”

He hadn’t meant to say that. Shit. “I always liked those stories,” he said, chuckling weakly. It was enough to fool Morality, or maybe that was just because he had spotted his boyfriend. 

“Sweetheart!” Morality called, rolling down the window. “C’mon, you’re gonna be late for school!”

“Thank you, love,” smiled his boyfriend, sliding into the backseat and kindly ignoring Morality’s blush. “Anxiety, I see you’ve stolen the front seat again, you heathen.”

“Best friend privileges,” drawled Virgil, taking a sip of his coffee. “Morning, Princey.”

Prince rolled his eyes, before leaning forward and stealing Morality’s thermos and drinking from it. “Listen, One American Reject, I’ll have you know that while I respect and honor best friend privileges, I will still attempt to steal the seat closer to my boyfriend at any opportunity.”

“Fair enough,” Virgil nodded. “That was one of your better nicknames, too.”

“Thank you,” he grinned as Morality started the car. 

“Anxiety and I were just mentioning how we haven’t seen much activity from the forest as of late,” Morality said. “Put your seatbelt on, honey! Have you noticed anything?”

“Er… I haven’t seen as many fey recently, no,” Prince answered, biting his lip as he fastened said seatbelt. “It’s dangerous to go near the forest, anyways -- they might be there, and we just haven’t spotted them.”

“But usually I see something,” Morality countered, drumming his fingers on the wheel. “It’s just… concerning.”

“Speaking of fey, did Mariposa make plans for the play again this year?” Virgil asked Prince, turning in his seat to face Morality’s boyfriend. “She always tells the actors about her weird precautions first.”

“What do you mean, plans?” Prince raised an eyebrow. “I’m new, remember?”

“Oh, Ms. Mariposa always gets worried that the fey will try to attend the school play,” Morality laughed. “Apparently they did one year? It was ages ago. But she always goes all out to try and protect the auditorium during rehearsals and performances and stuff, all salt lines and horseshoes, and she paid the school to make sure the doors and windows have iron on them. She even hangs bells everywhere! I get performances, kinda, but rehearsals? Tech’d notice if anyone snuck in, and they can’t exactly be actors!”

“They could, actually,” Virgil said, and then mentally smacked himself. Sleep deprivation was going to kill him.

“Really?” his cheerful friend asked, surprised. “I thought they couldn’t lie!”

Apparently, I’m the one who can’t lie today. “They can’t,” he agreed reluctantly, because he’d dug this grave and now he had to lay in it. “But acting is different from lying. People are aware you aren’t actually that person, that whatever you say on stage isn’t necessarily true, and they’re faeries, so they exploit that loophole.”

“How do you know that?” Prince inquired, staring at Virgil with a strange expression on his face. 

“My gran. She, uh, used to tell me about meeting some Seelie once, when she was young, and was wearing an iron pendant. They… tried to tempt her by telling her about celebrations they had, and mentioned a performance,” he lied through his teeth, thinking fast. “She was confused, like you were, Mor, and they told her that.”

“I didn’t know your grandmother had almost been taken,” remarked Prince. “Could I ask her about it? That necklace sounds… fascinating.”

Virgil felt himself tense, even as Morality chirped “Oh, I love Robin! She’s so nice! Remember those cookies she used to make for us?”

“They were great,” he nodded, plastering a smile across his face. “But, uh, she’s been kind of sick lately. Not really up to visitors. Sorry.”

“Oh, alright,” Prince nodded, suddenly all bright cheer again. “What were you saying about those cookies, love?”

He tuned out, head pressed against the soothingly cool glass of the window. Those bills were going to suck to pay -- mortgage payments were due soon, too, along with the money needed for everything else. His aunt wasn’t going to be any help at all, the bitch, but his job at the cafe didn’t pay enough for all of the money he owed.

The money just didn’t add up. A sigh escaped him, quiet enough that Morality didn’t notice. He was going to have to dip into his college fund again, huh?

Virgil liked to sit near the windows in classes. Sure, it could be a bit distracting, but even with the coffee, he was too exhausted to pay attention anyways. He liked being able to sit and watch the trees in the distance, observe the squirrels in the large elm that grew beside the school. 

An acorn dropped onto the open windowsill, rolling towards Virgil slightly.

And, of course, there was another reason he liked this placement. 

Elm trees didn’t have acorns. He knew this, had known it when the very first of the nuts had appeared, when he had picked it up in curiosity and noticed it was a little too light. Acorns weren’t heavy, of course, but they had some weight to them. He’d popped off the acorn cap with his fingernail, noticing the smell of sap, and his suspicions had been proven correct -- the nut was hollow, with a folded, thin wedge of paper curled inside.

Peeling out the paper had been difficult, but with one hand doing as he pretended to rummage inside his desk and the other feigning note taking for the teacher’s benefit, he had managed to extract a note. 

He did much the same thing with this new acorn, glad that his seat was in the back of the class and that Ms. Vlinder, his math teacher (and Ms. Mariposa’s wife) was writing out a long problem on the board. Stashing the hollow nut in his desk, he unfolded the paper on his notebook, as stealthily as possible. 

Anxiety,

I should be able to meet you later today -- Advice has agreed to cover for my absence. I’ll see you then, unless plans change. The usual spot.

You’re probably reading this in math again, so stop procrastinating on your work, please. Just because you do not like the subject does not mean you should neglect it. Besides, it would probably take up less of your time (like you keep complaining it does) if you actually took the time to do it in class. 

Logic

He grinned to himself. Well, that was something to look forward to, at least. 

“Anxiety,” said Ms. Vlinder, raising an eyebrow at him from the front of the classroom. “What are you reading?”

His face flushed red. “Um… nothing.”

“Well, whatever it is, it doesn’t look like calculus. Save it for after class, please. Now, can you answer the question on the board?”

He’d gotten lucky, thank god -- the question was one from last night’s homework, and he’d actually done it for once. Virgil muttered his response, slouching in his seat and trying to ignore the heat on his cheeks. Morality cast him a glance, mouthing Are you okay? from his seat closer to the board. 

Virgil nodded briefly at him, stuffing the note into the pocket of his sweatshirt. 

“Stay for a second, Anxiety,” Ms. Vlinder told him as the bell rang for lunch. He did so, fidgeting nervously where he stood. 

“Do you want me to stay?” Morality asked quietly, coming up to him as the other students left the classroom, casting a glance at their teacher. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he shook his head, mustering up as much false bravado as he could. “Save me a spot, though.”

“Of course, kiddo,” grinned the other teen, before also leaving the room. 

“Are you doing okay, Anxiety?” Ms. Vlinder asked once the room was empty, eyes on Virgil. “I normally wouldn’t ask, but you’ve been extra distracted lately, and your grades have dropped. Even in English, and you’ve always been praised by Mx. Cee for your work in that class. Do you want me to talk to your grandmother?”

“I’m fine,” he muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets and curling his fingers around the note in an attempt at comfort.

“My wife mentioned seeing you when she went to pick up our coffee this morning,” the teacher told him, frowning. “That would have had to be a very early shift, Anxiety. Are you sleeping alright? Do you want me to talk to the counselor-”

“I need money for university,” he interrupted, the practiced falsehood he’d told everyone about his job falling easily between his lips. “I’m fine, really. Can I please leave?”

“...Okay,” she finally nodded. “Have a good lunch.”

“Thanks,” he said quickly, grabbing his backpack and practically running out the door before she could change her mind. 

His friends liked to eat lunch out in the courtyard. It was easier for all of them, the cafeteria being too loud for Sleep and too stressful for Virgil. For March it was relatively warm, and it was an unspoken tradition for every member of their small group to find themselves near the same elm tree that bordered the math classroom for lunch break now that the cold had finally broken. So that was where Virgil went, slipping out the doors with his hood up, ignoring the brief chill of the wind. Morality waved to him, patting the ground besides him, Prince arguing with Sleep about something. 

“Why are you fighting again?” Virgil sighed as he sat besides Morality, setting down his backpack to lean against it. “What did Princey do now?”

“Me?” the dramatic male asked, aghast. “Why me?!”

“We were debating who your mysterious boyfriend might be,” grinned Morality, elbowing Virgil. “That’s who gave you that note, right?”

“Spill, girl,” Sleep drawled, taking a long sip from his Starbucks cup. Where did he even get that? Torbrook didn’t have a Starbucks! “Is he hot?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend!” Virgil protested, face red again. “The note -- stop rolling your eyes, Sleeping Beauty, I don’t! -- is none of your business.”

“Aw, you think I’m beautiful!” cooed Sleep, as Morality protested “It is certainly our business! We’re your friends, and as such we have a right to know about your love life! It was in the best friend contract, Anx!”

“No, it wasn’t,” Virgil rolled his eyes. The ‘best friend contract’ had been something he and Morality had made when they were nine, meant to be a joke. Morality’s mom had helped him frame it, and he’d hung it near his desk. It still was on the wall in his room. “I wrote that.”

“Well, I deedn’t expect that to work, anyways,” Morality grinned, and Sleep and Virgil groaned, Princey letting out a snort. “Still, though!”

“Yes, Anxiety, tell us about your mysterious lover’s note!” Prince exclaimed, pretending to swoon. “Every last detail of your courtship! Tell us about your Romeo; did you make the first move, or did he? Have you kissed yet? Do we know him?!”

“I’m certainly hoping I’m not Juliet, because she was thirteen and he was a grown adult, and also they died,” Virgil deadpanned, though internally his mind was racing, scrambling for an excuse. He seemed to be doing that a lot, lately. “Also, no, no, and no! I’m not dating anyone! The note was from a friend of mine who lives outside Torbrook. We, uh, met up over the weekend, he left it for me because when I got there he was out to buy groceries, and I just realized I accidentally grabbed it from his house.”

“You never leave town,” Morality shook his head. “Try again.”

“Actually,” Sleep interjected, actually looking interested now, “last Sunday he wasn’t at work for once. Asked me to cover for him. Are you telling me you actually went to visit this friend?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “Now they get it. We all know I’m doomed to be alone, anyways.”

“If you keep talking bad about yourself I will physically fight you!” Morality screeched, tackling Virgil into a hug as Sleep rolled his eyes in fond exasperation and Prince snickered at them both. 

After school, he found himself walking home. He never accepted Morality’s rides on the way back from school, always coming up with some excuse or another to walk. Virgil suspected the cheerful teen believed he was sneaking off to see someone, which would explain how that idea had started, but the truth was that he simply couldn’t let his best friend figure out that his grandmother wasn’t in the house. As far as Morality or anyone else knew, he was living with his grandmother in their nice house near the edge of town. As far as his grandmother knew, he was living with his aunt in her apartment a few towns away, and their shitty insurance was being supported by said woman. Only he knew the truth: that when his aunt had come to visit his grandmother in the hospital when she’d first been admitted a few months ago, she’d sat down with him at the dining table and told him that he wouldn’t be staying with her. 

“I have nowhere else to go--” he’d tried to tell her, but Caroline (she had no other title, having grown up outside Torbrook) had stood up from her seat, eyes shards of ice. 

“I’m not having Lydia’s child in my home,” she’d spat, and Virgil had recoiled at the mention of his mother. “My sister poisoned everything she touched -- she was driving, that night when she died, wasn’t she? Killed your father and your sister, and finally took herself down too. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did it on purpose. She was like that.”

“She -- it was an accident!” he cried. “Don’t talk about Mom like that!”

“I will talk about her any way I damn well please, Anxiety,” his aunt snapped. “You’re just like her, you know. You even call yourself after her! You could have chosen anything, and you decided on a goddamn disorder!”

“Gram told me-”

“I don’t give a fuck what she told you. That woman’s batshit crazy. She tore apart our family to come back to this town, and when I thought the cycle would finally end with her, my idiot sister forgave her, and granted her custody of her child when she died.” Caroline had paused there, picking up her bag. “You’ve been poisoned by both of them, Virgil, and I’m not risking my own life or happiness to deal with helping you just to let you go back after the old bitch dies. The old woman will be gone within a month without money for her treatment, you know that, and I’ll take you in then, finally get around to fixing you.”

She glanced at the rainbow flag magnet sitting on the fridge, holding up a picture of Virgil and his grandmother smiling together at the camera, her expression twisting from simple hatred into something ugly. “Maybe we’ll finally be able to get that gay bullshit out of your head, then.”

“Who am I supposed to stay with?” he’d asked, quiet and resigned, because he understood what was happening, had known deep inside the moment that his grandmother had told him to call Caroline that things would go wrong. 

“Just stay here,” she’d rolled her eyes. “You should be able to care for yourself, Virgil, you’re almost an adult. I’ll see you in a month, when she’s gone.”

He’d felt like laughing, even with the dark bags under his eyes and the crippling exhaustion he hadn’t yet learned how to manage, when his aunt had come back a month later, expecting to see her mother on her deathbed. The confusion and anger on her face when she’d seen Robin sitting up in her bed, hooked up to an IV but chatting merrily with a nurse, and had heard the old woman say “Oh, Carol, hon! I know we’ve had our differences, but I’m so glad you’ve been able to put them past you to care for our Anx, and help with the bills. The doctors say I should be out by August, dear, just in time to see him off to college. How will I ever thank you?”

His aunt had looked at him, standing on the other side of the bed, where his grandmother wasn’t looking, and he’d grinned, twirling his finger near his temple in gentle circles, the sign for crazy, and pointed at first his grandmother, and then himself. There had been a brief flash of fiery anger in her eyes, before Caroline had returned her gaze to her mother. “No need,” she’d smiled benevolently, and Virgil had to give it to her; she was a brilliant actress. “We’re family, after all. It’s what Lydia would want.” 

(He’d regretted taunting her later, when she’d thrown his grandmother’s favorite vase against his head as he tried to leave the house, trying to escape her wrath. She’d been screaming that he was poison, as toxic as his mother and grandmother before him, when the world fuzzed to black, and had left Virgil to wake up a few hours later with his bright purple hair dark with water and blood. He’d only seen her a few times since, when they’d met outside the hospital to visit his grandmother. They’d never mentioned it, and if she noticed how he was constantly on edge around her, she didn’t tell him.)

Virgil snapped himself out of his thoughts, unconsciously rubbing the back of his head. The injury had healed, now, but sometimes he found himself touching the spot anyways, especially after certain nightmares. 

He glanced around as he ducked into a gap between the trees, shifting to the right through a bush to find himself on the rough path he’d carved out over years of walking through these trees. 

It had been too long since he’d visited, he saw -- the grass had begun to regrow, and he muttered silent apologies to the forest as it was crushed under his torn sneakers. A faint breeze swirled around him, lifting the branches, and he grinned to himself. Virgil wasn’t much for gods, capital G and singular or otherwise, but he’d always believed these woods held a magic all their own, even beyond the faeries that used it as a portal between his realm and theirs. The place seemed to hum with it, a quiet force all its own, and he half-believed he’d only ever survived his adventures into it because it let him, had perhaps even guided him to the field of flowers when he was young. 

It was only a matter of minutes before he reached the clearing, and he shivered as the sunlight hit his skin fully, the afternoon sun’s warmth combatting the cool breeze. 

“There you are,” he heard from behind him, and he whirled around at the familiar voice.

“You’re starting to look like Slenderman,” he grinned at Logic, who had grown taller again.

“Those legends were inspired by my people,” the faerie said, rolling his eyes. “And I will have you know I am of perfectly average height for an Unseelie. At least I am not the size of the average mushroom, like those flowery nitwits.”

“Don’t be rude,” Virgil scolded, but he was still smiling, and pulled Logic into a hug even as he said it. “I missed you,” he muttered into his shoulder.

“...I missed you as well,” Logic told him, warm against the crisp March breeze. “It has been a long winter.”

“You look exhausted,” he pointed out, frowning as he pulled away to examine the shadows under the faerie’s mismatched eyes. “When did you last sleep?”

“I’m not the only one,” retorted the other, taking his hand and pulling him further into the sunny space between the trees. The grass was soft as the two sat, Virgil taking off his backpack to put it besides him. “I told you you would need adequate rest to ensure your head healed properly.”

“It’s fine,” he grumbled. Logic still moved behind him to check, examining the skin on the back of his head. “It really is, L. The magic did the trick -- no pain, no dizziness, nothing.”

“It looks alright,” the faerie conceded, although he still seemed perturbed. “Be careful, though, Anxiety. It may have been a while ago, but head wounds can have lasting effects.”

“I know,” he nodded, turning to face Logic again. “Now, why do you look like you haven’t slept since August?”

“I could say the same to you.”

“Logic.”

“It has been an… eventful winter,” sighed the dark-haired faerie, lying back in the grass. “There has been strife in both courts for years, but everything has gotten worse now. The heir to the rule of the Seelie Court has gone missing.”

“What? How is that even possible?” Virgil asked, staring down at him. 

“He disappeared in late summer, at the very end of August. Both courts have assumed they are being framed for what happened.” Logic closed his eyes, frustration seeping into his words. “I’m… friends with him, I suppose. I’m a bit worried about him -- Prince was never known for his intelligence.”

“Prince?” he blinked, a cold wave of suspicion washing over him. “Short, dramatic, acts like he stepped out of a Disney movie? Acts like the universe personally affronted him and will only accept an apology if it brings cookies?”

“You know him?” asked the faerie, eyes flashing open as he sat up. “When did you meet him? How? Did he hurt you?!”

“He sounds like Morality’s boyfriend,” Virgil told him, a mix of confusion and anger and fear rising in his chest. “Princey moved to town just in time for school to start -- they started dating in January. Apparently they had Christmas together, some cute fairy tale kiss under the mistletoe.” He’s vaguely aware his breath is quickening, but the blood pounding in his ears is far too loud to concentrate. “Oh god, L, what if he hurts Mor?”

“We cannot be sure your Prince is the same as mine. It could just be a coincidence,” Logic told him, moving closer to hold Virgil’s shoulders. “Breathe, Anxiety. It is alright. Do you remember the pattern you taught me?”

They did a breathing exercise, a four-seven-eight method Virgil had once led Logic through when they were fourteen and the faerie had been having a panic attack. He’d had no idea Logic remembered. 

“We’re going to have to figure out a way to definitively identify whether they are the same person,” he heard a while later, once he had calmed. His head was on Logic’s lap. He didn’t remember lying down, but long fingers were running through his hair and Virgil was far calmer than before, so he shrugged it off. “There’s no way he’d be willing to accompany you near the forest, right?”

“I doubt it,” he shook his head. “Everyone’s scared about this place. How’ve you been getting the messages to me? Could we use that?”

The faerie sighed. “Unfortunately, no. I’ve been making use of the birds in the area to do that -- a little magic, a promise of food, and they do whatever I wish.”

They sat in silence for a time, each with thoughts running rampant through their minds. Something tugged at Virgil’s attention, and he focused, trying to remember what he’d forgotten…

“His eyes!” he exclaimed, startling them both. 

“What?” Logic asked, a trace of amusement in his voice. “What about them?”

“Shouldn’t they be like yours, if he’s a Seelie?” said Virgil, sitting up. “All… fey-ish?”

“That isn’t a word.”

“Shush, you. Point is, shouldn’t I have been able to tell he was a faerie because of that? Or because of his ears? Do Seelie also have the pointed ears, or is that just your lot?”

His eyes widened. “An illusion, of course! Anxiety, you absolute genius!”

“I try,” he grinned. 

“The solution would be to pose as a human, accompany you to your place of schooling, and speak to him myself!” Logic exclaimed. “Do you have any human clothing I can borrow?” He hesitated. “Only if it is alright with you, that is. We can come up with another solution.”

“Actually, that works out,” Virgil told him. “I lied to my friends about visiting someone out of town over the weekend -- they’re going to ask for photos or something for proof, knowing them, so you can stand in as my imaginary friend.”

“What were you actually doing?” Logic asked, frowning, and Virgil mentally cursed. Why was he so goddamn perceptive? “We haven’t seen each other in a few months, so it was not on my behalf, and I have never known you to lie without reason.”

“...I was visiting my gran,” he confessed, staring at the blades of grass under his hands. “She hasn’t been doing too well lately, and my aunt still isn’t helping with money. I’m probably going to have to take more shifts at my job, and I wanted to see her without my aunt there for once before I started having no time to.”

“You told me once that it was strange that my people made me work even as a child,” Logic said, voice quiet. “You are clearly not doing well, Anxiety, and your health is precarious enough as it is. You should have gone to human doctors for that head wound, and you appear exhausted.”

“I’m fine, L,” he snapped. 

“No, you aren’t!” 

They both were startled by his shout, and Logic pinched his nose in faint exasperation. “I apologize. That was unnecessary. But I think you really should inform your grandmother of the situation. At this rate, even if you save her, you may kill yourself in the process.”

“She’ll make Caroline take me in, or ask a friend of hers from out of town. I can’t leave Torbrook now,” he shook his head. “I can’t. I’d be leaving you, and Mor, and… and God, L, there’s some sort of curse on this place, and I want to go to college, I want to see the world before I’m dragged back here!”

Everyone, even the fey, knew of the strange power of the town, and its effect on its residents. Virgil had watched people try to leave for years, to go to college or to just finally escape, and yet somehow, every single person, even the ones who hated the place most bitterly, were dragged back, unable to stay away permanently. It had happened to his gran, he knew -- she’d left, married a man she’d met in college, had his mom and Caroline, and then when both of the girls were ten, had found herself divorcing her husband and returning to Torbrook. Robin had hated herself for it, said so to Virgil after she’d had a bit too much wine, but she hadn’t seen another way -- the place had seemed to pull on her soul, and she couldn’t drag her new, innocent family along with her. 

The only people who had ever seemed to permanently escape were the ones who had accidentally revealed their names, and Virgil suspected that was only out of pure necessity. They could only survive on the outside -- returning to Torbrook was a death sentence, or worse, with any faerie or opportunistic human ready to use their true names against them. It was what had happened to Taylor, formerly called Yellow. They had accidentally told their true name at a party, gotten a bit too vulnerable, and one of their friends had told the whole school. They’d left town the next day, and hadn’t been back since. Their parents had occasionally visited them, but never seemed able to permanently stay with their child, much as they wanted to. Eventually, the visits stopped, and then so did all communication.

Taylor could have been dead, for all anyone knew, the pull of Torbrook doing to them what it had done to all the others who had resisted -- first sickness, like the flu, a shivering weakness, and eventually… 

Well, after a girl called Fortune had died in the hospital near her college, the doctors unable to help her, no one had wanted to risk it. 

So Virgil couldn’t leave Torbrook, even if he wanted to. He was saving every second for college, and maybe for a trip after that if he got lucky. 

He wouldn’t.

Abruptly, he stood. 

“Anxiety, I-” Logic began, and Virgil knew him well enough to know the other was about to apologize, and he couldn’t take that, not then. 

“Meet me here again in a few days, okay? I’ll bring clothes and stuff, and I’ll let the school know you’re a visiting student. They let that kind of thing happen, usually assume it’s a cousin who was born here who got the sickness. Super lax about it, weirdly.” He was aware he was babbling now, as he grabbed his bag, but he couldn’t stop himself from speaking. “Sunday should work, yeah? You can come with me on Monday, I can say we drove down from your home together.”

“Anxiety, what if it is him?” Logic asked, interrupting him mid-tangent. “Not only will we face the wrath of the next ruler of the Seelie Court, but will also expose the fact that we have been… consorting.”

“I’m not letting Mor get hurt,” said Virgil shortly, stepping back to leave. “I don’t need my best friend getting kidnapped by a faerie on my plate, too. I’ll see you Thursday.” He turned, and, without giving Logic a chance to respond, left the clearing. 

It was Sunday before he knew it, and Virgil was exhausted. All of his friends had noticed that he was more tense, more tired, more snappish -- he remembered muttering something about college admissions, which made sense since the letters were supposed to be coming in the next couple weeks, and they passed the mood change off as heightened anxiety. If Sleep noticed him picking up more shifts than ever, mowing lawns and doing whatever he could for money around town, he didn't say anything, and Virgil was grateful. Besides, Sleep himself was an insomniac -- he would just be a hypocrite.

Not to say Virgil had insomnia. More than anything, he wanted to fall onto his bed and sleep for a week. But he couldn’t, not yet.

He asked for the day off for both Sunday and Monday. His boss didn’t protest, telling him to go get some rest in a quiet tone. Sleep didn't make fun of him like usual, either, and there was no teasing him about going to see a boyfriend, only a quiet thumbs up.

The forest was quiet when he entered, a bag over his shoulder, and he shivered. It was disconcerting. Virgil had gotten used to noise, blasting music over his headphones as he worked, and then in lectures or with his loud friends every other moment. Faint birdsong, wind in the trees, dirt under the combat boots his gran had bought him two Christmases ago -- he wasn’t accustomed to them anymore. 

Perhaps that’s why Logic could sneak up on him so easily. 

“You look awful,” the faerie said bluntly from beside him, startling him enough that he almost tripped. He got lucky -- Logic reached out to steady him, concern shining in his strange, mismatched eyes. “Anxiety, you… you look worse than when I last saw you. Are you doing alright?”

“I’m fine,” he said, trying for a smile. Judging from the look on Logic’s face, it wasn’t convincing. He patted the bag. “Look, I brought you clothes. Got a couple of outfits. And, bonus-” he reached into his coat, pulling out a hairbrush and the scissors his grandmother had used to use to cut Virgil’s own hair when he was young. “We’re finally going to make you presentable, Tarzan.”

“How dare you?” Logic exclaimed, but there was no heat behind his words, just a quiet underlying concern that Virgil almost hated more. “My hair is perfectly fine!”

“Listen, you look like a member of Aerosmith,” Virgil rolled his eyes. “I’m thinking we can put it in a bun. Or maybe cut it even shorter! I’m just saying, you’re cosplaying a rocker from the 80s.”

“My hair isn’t that messy, or that long!” the faerie protested, but he let Virgil lead him to an old tree stump and sat down, albeit reluctantly. “Not too drastic of a change, Anx, or I swear, I’ll turn yours pink.”

“Eh, I needed a new dye job, anyways,” Virgil shrugged, and narrowly dodged Logic’s attempt to swat at him. 

Half an hour and much swearing later, the disheveled hair was brushed through and tied into a bun. Logic looked unbelievably cute. It was not fair in the slightest -- Virgil’s dark gay heart wasn’t built for this kind of shit!

Alright Virge, stop checking out your friend. he snapped at himself mentally, handing Logic his phone to see his new look as he reached into the bag. He’s a faerie, firstly, and also, you’re doing this to save Mor. Haven’t got time for this, you disaster gay. 

“I will confess, this does suit me,” the faerie smiled, looking up at him. “You’re quite good at this.”

“My gran taught me,” he shrugged, before dumping the bag of clothes onto Logic’s lap. “Pick an outfit.”

“This is not the same kind of clothing you wear,” blinked the faerie, looking through it. 

“You’d hate wearing my clothes, and they wouldn’t even fit you,” he pointed out. “I brought you… I dunno, nerd stuff. Should make you look respectable and smart, or whatever -- we’re going to play into all the stereotypes, today. Besides, people ought to think of you like you are, not like some emo.”

“You think I’m smart?” Logic asked, staring up at him. 

“You’re the smartest person I know, dumbass,” Virgil told him. “If you don’t want to wear any of that, it’s fine, I packed a T-shirt and jeans, and you could borrow my hoodie, I just thought it was kind of more your style-”

“No,” the other smiled, and wow, Virgil was really gay. “You… yes. I would prefer to be thought of as smart or respectable, I just didn’t realize that was something that could be done.”

“Anything’s possible when you harness preconceived prejudices,” he grinned in response.

Virgil couldn’t mask his amazement when Logic whispered to the forest, convincing the plants to grow together to make him a screen to change behind (he’d always been fascinated by magic, even when they were kids), but forced himself to stare at his phone when the faerie went behind it. He’d read through the same Tumblr post four times without understanding a word of it when Logic said “Anxiety?”

He’d chosen a black polo and a dark indigo tie, a shade that perfectly offset both colors of his eyes, paired with dark pants and his rabbit-fur boots. He looked hot.

“You… you’re going to need different shoes,” Virgil choked out.

“Oh, yes, I suppose I will,” Logic nodded. “Here, I am going to attempt an illusion.” He ran his fingers over his ears, and the points vanished, rounding. The rest of his features softened, less harshly fey and more human. He paused at his eyes, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” the human asked, as they had yet to change. 

“Eyes are… harder to hide,” the faerie confessed. “For fey they are quite literally the windows to the soul. I believe I will require an external object near my face to mask my eyes to cast the spell on.” He bit his lip. “If we restyled my hair to have bangs a bit like yours, I could use that, but I do not wish to ruin your hard work.” 

Virgil frowned, thinking back, before snapping his fingers. “Princey carries around contact solution in his bag! I bet that’s how he’s doing it -- casts the illusions on the contacts, pops them into his eyes, good to go.” He grinned. “You, Logic, are lucky I am so blind.”

“Excuse me?” he frowned. “I think your vision is alright. I wouldn’t have let those scissors near me, otherwise.”

“I wear contacts too, most of the time; good excuse for my weird eyes, people who don’t know me assume they’re colored. Plus, glasses don’t match my aesthetic.”

“What aesthetic?” Virgil glared at him, and Logic snorted in laughter.

“Don’t be rude, nerd. Anyways, I carry around my spare pair of glasses just in case, because if I lose a contact I can’t see without them. I was going to have to switch over to them soon -- don’t have enough money to buy another box -- but I can lend them to you for now, and we can cast the spell on them. Will the prescription affect you?”

“Let me see them,” Logic frowned, and Virgil pulled his glasses case out of his coat, handing the frames over.

The faerie tried them on, frowning briefly before running his hand over them. The glass shimmered for a moment, and suddenly his eyes only had color in the iris, one a paler green than Virgil’s own, the other a dark blue. “There. And I can see through them fine -- just have to change my own ability to see to do so. Easy shapeshifting spell.”

Virgil smiled despite himself, looking at the different colors. “We’re still eye buddies, huh?”

“I wasn’t about to give that up,” Logic grinned as he rolled his new eyes. It was so much more obvious when he did that, now that he actually had evident whites and pupils. “How do I look?”

Virgil stepped back, passing an appraising glance over his friend. “Very human,” he decided. “Also, very nerdy, so welcome to the weird kid club, L.”

“Excellent,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, before his features adjusted into something more serious. “Are you sure you want to do this, Anxiety? For all we know, your Prince isn’t mine at all. I can think of no reason for him to disappear for so long into human society.”

“I can’t risk Morality getting hurt,” Virgil shook his head. “We’re doing this.”

“Alright,” Logic nodded, before his face split into a sly smile. “Now that I look human, though… There are some things you’ve mentioned in Torbrook I’ve always wanted to see.”

Virgil laughed despite himself. “Well, you should probably stay with me tonight, for appearances’ sake anyways… Okay, sure. Let’s go see the library, and then we can stop by my house.”

“How did you know?” the faerie asked, startled, as they started collecting the supplies Virgil had brought.

“Magic,” he grinned, and Logic punched him in the arm without any real force. 

“Ass.”

“Dork.”

Even as they laughed, fear’s cold claws sunk into Virgil’s heart. He swallowed. What if Prince was who they thought he was?

What would one of the most powerful fey in the Seelie Court do to the human and the Unseelie that exposed him? 

He glanced over at Logic. The faerie was beautiful when he smiled, even with his teeth disguised to look duller and more human. The sun streamed through the trees, lighting up his dark hair and contrasting the shadows painting fragile pictures across his skin. 

What if Prince hurts him? the little voice in the back of his mind whispered. 

No. He wouldn’t let that happen, Virgil decided, pushing the fear deep, deep down. Not to Logic, or Morality, or Sleep, or anyone he cared about. 

The world was so shitty, as it was. He wasn’t about to let the few people that made living in it bearable suffer.

“Anxiety?”

Logic’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he turned to see the faerie looking at him. “Yeah, L?”

“It’s going to be alright,” he promised, reaching out to hold Virgil’s hand. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

“Okay,” he nodded. And it helped, really, because he knew faeries could only tell the truth, or at least what they believed was the truth. Logic was the smartest person he’d ever met, and if he really believed that… 

Everything would be alright.

#analogical #ts logan #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #royality #background royality #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #princey sanders #fae au #bluebells #tw cursing #tw disappearance #tw abuse #fey #seelie #unseelie #faerie au

[angrypixie-sarisa]

True lethargy

Piedras Rodantes Pt. 15

Sam xMexican!Witch!Fem!readerx Dean (polyamorous)

Summary: Dean is still on guard when it comes to you but a phone call from Bobby will change yours and his course of action.

warnings: kinda angsty? couple of swears i think

Gifs not mine, obviously. Credits and love to the owner.

“You did what?!” Dean frowned at Lisa’s words.

“She’s not evil, Dean. And she’s the only photographer I could find in town.” She wasn’t even looking at him; having already anticipated his reaction, she continued cutting the apple in the cutting board.

“She’s a witch, Lisa. She’s just, she… You cannot trust them.”

“Didn’t you tell me once about a witch case? Where one out of the tiny coven was actually innocent? Don’t you think she’s the same?” His chest kept rising and falling at a quick pace. He just wanted to head down town, find you and… And what? You had already escaped him, not once but twice.

“That’s different.”

“How so?”

“Because she didn’t disappear in front of me like a demon and this bitch did.” Lisa set down the knife, finally turning to face him. She placed her hands in her hips.

“Dean, we’re doing this. If you don’t trust her, fine, don’t. But trust me.” He took in some deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

“I don’t want you guys getting hurt. I can’t lose you, not you two. I can’t afford losing you.” She hugged him, soothingly passing her hands up and down his back. He returned the hug, getting her closer to him.

“We can get the place witch-proofed. You know, just in case.” It wasn’t ideal, but he compromised, after all, what wouldn’t he do for them?

  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 “Are you sure you want to do this?” You sighed before setting down your spritzer on the coffee table. You turned around and glared at Diego, before your gaze landed on Tyler, who was lying on your couch, half solving a Rubik’s cube.

“Would you please tell your boyfriend to chill?” He lifted his attention towards you, and then looked at his worried boyfriend. He took his hand in his and gave it a light squeeze.

“Babe, shut the fuck up, your upsetting her.” Diego rolled his eyes, making his partner laugh. “I’m serious here.”

You placed your hands on your hips.

“Well, so am I. It’s not like Dean’s my boss, Lisa’s my boss for the evening. If she doesn’t like a picture I’ll take it again, if she wants me to stay a little longer I’ll stay. Dean’s just another face trying to smile to the camera and hide his hate towards me. Because Lisa’s also his boss, so…” You shrugged, laughing at the thought of Lisa scolding him.

“I’m doing this. It’s good money. Also, it’s not like I forced this. I was sure to be careful not to run into them ever again, but faith fucked that.”

“May I come with you?” You spun around, your gaze landing on a black cat with white in his chest sitting at the arm rest of your couch.

“Schrödinger, why would you want to come to a photoshoot? You’ll get bored.” His tiny cat body trembled, as if he had shrugged.

“Mere curiosity.” La curiosidad mató al gato, you thought. Tyler watched your every move with hawk-like attention. Diego laughed through his nose as he watched his boyfriend.

“I love that you guys can talk to animals and plants. What do I have to do to become a witch?” Schrödinger moved towards him and motioned for Tyler to pet him.

“I’ll tell you later, sweetie. Right now I have to stop this headstrong woman from doing something really stupid.” He glared daggers at you as you packed the last item you needed into your bag and graving your keys before heading to the front door.

“¡Una aventura es más divertida si huele a peligro! ¡Correle, Schrödinger!” The cat rushed out of your place beside you so you two wouldn’t have to hear your best friend whine for the fifth time that hour.

The witch groaned at the closed door. His boyfriend pulled him into the couch, kissing him passionately in hopes of taking his mind off of your safety.

“She’ll be fine; she’s Y/N. She’s our Y/N. She’s a total badass and you’re worrying too much.” They rested their foreheads against each other’s as they enjoyed the soothing sound of silence.

“Brujillo. Maybe you are a witch after all.” Tyler’s smile grew big and shone brighter than the stars.

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The photoshoot went as you expected. Dean tried really hard to smile into the camera; he just couldn’t whilst knowing you were the one taking the photos. Even so, you did take one with the three members which turned out pretty descent. But the best ones were Ben and Lisa’s, both together and alone. Even the ones where they didn’t know you were photographing them turned out pretty well. They were so nice and natural.

“Okay, so how about one where you’re jumping?” the kid’s eyes sparkled as he agreed to it.

You giggled and dared to ruffle his hair despite Dean’s eyes on you.

“Hang on, though, let me change lenses.” You went to sit at the park bench where you had left all your equipment and started to change the lenses.

You heard a meow at your feet and saw Schrödinger rubbing himself against them.

“Y/N, I’m bored.” He said as he continued trying to distract you.

“I told your stubborn cat ass.” You sighed. “We’re almost done, don’t worry.” You had successfully changed lenses but didn’t get up. Not yet. A light breeze hit your skin and you closed your eyes as you heard the graceful ruffle of the tops of the trees.

“It’s such a pretty day.” You said, eyes still shut. The cat agreed with you.

“They’re nice.” Images of Schrodinger’s perspective of the photoshoot flood your mind. The funny part was that you could actually feel everything of those moments: Lisa and Ben warming up to you, the few laughs you shared and even… Dean? He was letting his guard down? He looked less angry and smiled every once in a while when you photographed Lisa or Ben. You smiled. It was such a calming thing when hunters weren’t total jackasses.

“Yeah, they’re nice.”

“Who are you talking to?” You snapped your eyes open to find Dean glaring at you, a few feet away. You shook your head. Not this time, Winchester. You kept your smile as you got up and walked towards where the rest of the family was.

“The cat, his name’s Schrödinger.” He meowed and climbed a tree, disappearing of the hunter’s sight.

You laughed, already sensing Dean’s question. “He says your energy is upsetting him.” The Winchester rolled his eyes.

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You had already wrapped everything up. Lisa thanked you for everything, as Ben did, both of them waving goodbye as you walked away. You felt like a weight lifted up from you, as if you had just draw the death card; the closing of a chapter and the beginning of a new one. You smiled to yourself, only to have that smile ripped away with the sound of a car slowing down beside your walking figure. You turned your head and glared your scary eyes to the creep, only that the creep was the hunter himself. At the sight of him, you rolled your eyes.

“Yes, I know. I will stay away from them. I’ll e-mail you the photos so you can get them printed wherever the heck you want. Happy? Seriously dude, what’s your problem?”

“You’re my problem. Lisa told me to give you a ride home.” You came to a halt, looking at him disgusted.

“Yeah, I made the same face.” He stopped the pick-up and opened the door for you from the inside. You were already tired, so you just shrugged and climbed on board without any snarky comment.

You didn’t live in the suburbs. Still, your place wasn’t far away. It was the perfect distance between some civilization such as coffee shops, bookstores and restaurants as well as actual houses with backyards and parks. You needn’t a car and if you really didn’t want to walk you knew which buses to take.

Why was it taking Dean so long to arrive to your house? Traffic. You would think there wasn’t such a thing in a small town, but even this particular town had its own bad traffic days. The fact that it was a Saturday night didn’t help at all.

“So…”

“No.” Dean gripped the steering wheel hard.

“What happened to the impala?” He looked at you questioningly. You shrugged.

“You are a famous hunter. You seriously think no one knows you drive a four door ’67 Chevy impala?”

“Could you be more creepy?”

“Actually I could, but for the sake of everyone else around, I won’t.” His grip tightened.

“Great. No more talking.” He pushed play on the stereo and instantly started skipping through channels and songs from the mixtape, but he couldn’t settle for anything. Both of you ended up in an uncomfortable silence.

“For God’s sake.” You groaned. An image of a car crash came into your head, answering your question of why was it taking so long, luckily no one was injured.

You pulled out your phone and started looking into your music. November rain started playing at the speakers of your phone; you placed it in the cup holder in between both of you. The music helped filling in the silence and easing the tensed muscles.

Dean sneaked a glance at you, mouthing the words along the song and your foot tapping along as well. A flashback of Sam lowering the volume to those songs came to him; a sad smile was placed in his lips. It had only been a three months, Bobby had asked him to move on, Sam himself asked him to. And he was trying to move on, Lisa and Ben made that easier. However, there still was this yearning of dropping everything, maybe for a weekend, and go search for him, for a solution, for his little brother.

Traffic had already been handled and the pick-up started to advance until it was already out of the sea of cars.

November rain had ended but Losing my religion played next, distracting the Winchester from thinking of his brother, the witch in the car with him and even, just for a moment, his new family. There was nothing but the music, the steering wheel and him. He even was unaware of you losing any self-control you had on you and starting to sing along with closed eyes and hands tapping the rhythm. The tension between you too dissipated.

Just as the song was ending, you had already arrived to your place. You retrieved your phone from the cup holder and paused the music.  You looked at Dean before offering him a small smile. You were determined in truly never interacting with him or Lisa and Ben ever again. They were nice and fun, of course, you liked them. But the trouble and emotional lethargy that involved dealing with the hunter made your decision clear.

“Thanks, Winchester.” There wasn’t sarcasm or anger to the words, merely pure gratitude. Dean wondered when was the last time he had heard words like that, not because he had saved someone from dying or he had made someone angry. When had it been the last time he heard gratitude for something as mundane as driving someone home? He sighed.

“Thank you, for the photos.” He looked at you, taking in the surprise in your face.

“I heard they turned out great.” You smiled again and nodded.

“Don’t worry; I’ll keep up with my word. I’ll e-mail them to you and I’ll stay away. For good, this time.”

“I…” Your phone rang, the name of Bobby appearing bright in the screen. The hunter frowned as you mentally face palmed. Good God, Bobby, you seriously want me dead.

“Bobby?” You went to open the door, except it was locked. You turned around to face angry Dean once again.

“I can explain.”

“Yeah you better do. See, when I meant family, I meant all of it.”

“Trust me, I didn’t mean for all of this to happen it just…”

“It just happened? Right, because I can trust you on that.” Exhaustion invaded you from head to toe.

“You know what? It did just happen. But that doesn’t matter because you’re not gonna trust me anyways. So whatever you want to do, do it. I’m tired of you. I’m tired of Bobby and I’m tired of…” You bit your lip before swallowing hard and giving away your body to the seat. You kept your gaze on your neighbor’s garden. If I die, I will come back as carnations, in that garden.

“I’m tired, Dean, whatever you decide to do, do it fast.” Your phone had already told Bobby what to do after the tone.  Silence and tension felt dense, they would suffocate you both unless either one of you decided to talk.

He knew that face, that feeling, as if your limbs were made of lead and your mind couldn’t think of anything else but giving up. He knew how you felt because he knew that was how he looked when he tried giving up.

“Damn it, Y/N! You better give me a good explanation before I change my mind.” What? You looked at him astonished, before swallowing your tears.

“It was me, Dean. That day, the phone call.” At the sight of confusion in his features, you exhaled a shaky breath before continuing. “He’s gone, isn’t he?” He’s gone, isn’t he? That voice, those words. His heart stopped beating for a second and he was sure the burning in his eyes were tears daring to fall. It seemed like the world had stopped spinning for both of you and you couldn’t shake off the sudden stillness.

“It was you.”

“It was me.”

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural imagines #supernatural imagine #piedras rodantes #sam #Sam Winchester #sam x reader #sam x reader x dean #dean winchester #dean #dean x reader #angst

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

Just Another Soldier Chapter 1

Yon-Rogg x reader

Summary: Finally home for a break from the warfront, enjoying sleeping next to the love of you life . . . right up until a knock on the door wakes the both of you.

Word Count: 1107

The knock on the door gave off an aura that was far too chipper for, she glanced at the clock on the nightstand, four in the morning. She could feel the groan that left the man that was lying with his head and torso across her back.

“What time is it?” said man muttered more than asked.

Y/N just knew that he didn’t bother to open his eyes. The joys of trying to ignore duties. “Four.”

Then she could feel the indignant way he lifted his head in surprise. “Who the—It’s Vers.” He’d cut himself off to sigh in resignation before uttering that defeated sentence.

“Then I’m definitely not answering it.”

Another knock, this one more impatient.

“Go. You know she’s not going to give up until you answer.”

He groaned again before placing a kiss to her bare shoulder and surrendering to his fate by getting out of bed. “You’ll have to get up, too, love. The bed’s in view of the door.”

“The hell I will,” as all she said before yanking the blankets up to make her just look like she was only a lump of plush things on the admittedly luxurious bed. “Don’t doubt me, Yon.”

The Kree captain didn’t stop the laugh that left him at the sight of her essentially becoming part of the bed. Anyone unfamiliar with her antics would have never guessed that she was a formidable foe on the battlefield.

A final knock pulled him to grab his robe to hide his state of undress and answer the door. “Good morning, Vers. Is there any particular reason you’re banging on my door at four in the morning?”

“Wanna fight?”

He rolled his eyes at the blonde’s grin. “Let me get dressed.” When she moved to step inside the tiny little studio apartment, he froze. “And where do you think you’re going?”

“Following you? Like I always do?” Confusion pulled at the trainee’s expressive face.

“Not this time. Go meet me down at training are four.”

“Why the sudden change of attitude? You hiding something in there?”

“Go, Vers,” he ordered more seriously. “Sniff out all my little secrets sometime when it’s not before dawn.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”

As soon as Y/N heard the door close again, she tossed off the blankets. “Okay, it was too hot under there,” she muttered before locking eyes with him. “Hidin’ somethin’ from me, Yon? Been letting other women in here when I’m not around?”

Yon-Rogg scoffed. “As if I would bother with a trainee when I have you.” He dropped the robe while moving to stand over the bed.

“Even when I’m deployed for a few months at a time?” A coy expression had her grinning and biting her bottom lip.

“Especially when you’re deployed for a few years at a time. A trainee could never hope to compare to the captain of one our most elite squads.”

She reached out a hand just far enough that her fingertips grazed the planes of his abs. “Promise?”

“Darling,” it was almost a groan, the muscles twitching under her touch. In an instant he’d scooped her up via an arm scooped under her so that she was ‘standing’ on her knees on the bed, body pressed against his, “I made that promise a long time ago.”

“Ooh, he knows what I like to hear,” she teased, fingers tightening in their newfound grip on his shoulders. “But he should get ready for his fight with his student.”

“Since when do you have the ability to ignore how it makes you fell when I toss you around?”

She had to giggle at the legitimate confusion on his face. “Since nobody on your team knows I exist, and you’ve already taken a long time to get dressed.”

“I’ll just tell her I took a shower. She is the one pulling me out of bed on a day off, after all.”

“And you’ve barely used that super strength on me yet, so it doesn’t really count as tossing me around yet. “That bit was murmured next to his ear right before she nibbled on the lobe playfully.

That pulled a choked moan from the man. His hand—that’d migrated to have a very solid grasp of ass—adjusted so that his middle finger sunk into her ever so slightly. “Darling, if you want me to leave, that is not the way to convince me.”

“Well, I never want you to leave, but I’ll stop teasing you for now,” Y/N stated, leaning away a bit. A breathy groan escaped her as that move pressed his finger further into her.

The kiss they shared was almost violent with how desperate it was. Harsh breathing, teeth biting, and plenty of groping.

“You’d better be here when I get back,” Yon-Rogg panted upon ending the kiss, hands drifting up to rest more innocently on her hips.

“As you wish, Captain.”

His smirk mirrored hers as he landed one good slap to her ass before releasing her. “Good.”

Vers sat on the floor as she waited for her mentor to join her. “What is taking so long?” She flopped down onto her back. “What was he hiding?” That’s what was really confusing. For the last two years, whenever she’d wake up her mentor in the middle of the night, he’d always let her in to wait while he got dressed out of sight. What would cause the sudden change? “And why is it taking him forever?” she asked aloud.

“Since when is it your business when it takes me a minute to get ready after youwoke me up?” his voice made her jump to her feat in surprise.

“You’re hiding something,” she accused, smirk firmly in place. “It never takes you that long.”

“I needed a shower.”

Vers knew that’s what he said, but she didn’t believe him. “You always take a shower after training.” Another discrepancy made itself clear as the man stretched in preparation for the imminent exercise: a mark that looked distinctly like teeth on his earlobe that she was pretty sure hadn’t been there before. “So you were hiding something. Or should I say someone?” His quick jab forced her to dodge backwards, her laughter dancing through the air.

“The person that may or may not have been there is hardly any of your business.” Yon-Rogg didn’t bother to hide his amused smirk. “Why don’t you treat it like an exercise? Work on your perception?”

“I already noticed the bite,” Vers defended.

“And yet there is much still you haven’t.” With that, he easily tossed her over his shoulder, causing her to land hard on the mats.

#Yon-rogg x reader #yon rogg x reader #yon rogg imagine #Yon-Rogg imagine #reader insert #Captain Marvel imagines

[aurora-the-kunoichi]

Chance Meeting

Chapter Four

Turtles and Reader

 The next few days you found yourself slowing down as you passed the empty alleyway Leonardo and Raphael had left you in, hoping to see large shadows waiting for you. There were so many unanswered questions, and you kicked yourself for leaving so soon just to get some fucking sleep. The one chance in your life to have something exciting happen and you needed your goddamn beauty sleep. Which you didn’t get and haven’t’ been getting the past few nights. So it was just a colossal waste of time and you blew it. You probably would never see them again, never see him again and that stung more than you cared to admit.

Maybe if you went down that manhole looking for them? Perhaps you could find them….or you would get lost in the catacombs of New York’s vast maze of sewers and die alone. Yeah, that didn’t sound like too much fun. They probably weren’t even thinking about you, just an afterthought of another night watching the city. That was another question haunting you, what were they doing out there that night? Were they protecting the city, patrolling for crimes to bust?

You had plans on going home and vegging out in front of the TV like you always do but a call from the Chief of police Rebecca Vincent had you making a detour to the New York police station. She needed you to make a statement and hopefully identify them to keep the assholes behind bars for several years. You didn’t really feel like reliving that horrible moment, but it was your duty to keep them off the streets.

Passing through the metal detector at the front door you were greeted by Rebecca herself and what seemed like her assistant. A warm but firm handshake and you were off to her office, the assistant bringing up the rear.

Entering her office, you gasped seeing the woman you had helped that night sitting on a chair waiting anxiously. Her face was black and blue and puffy from the assault. Her lip was busted but seemed to be healing nicely a dark red scab covering the wound and her left arm in a cast. Her dull green eyes lit up seeing you walk through the threshold and shot to her feet her arms latching around your neck in a hug.

“Omg! It’s you! Thank you thank you thank you!” she babbled between shaky sobs. You could feel her begin to tremble as she tried to hug you tighter but her broken arm prevented a strong grip.

You helped her and wrapped your arms around her completing the embrace. You too could feel the hot sting of tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“It’s ok, I’m just glad you’re ok.” You whispered trying to keep your emotions in check.

After a few long moments the woman finally let you go looking into your eyes before sitting back down on the chair she had started in.

Rebecca Vincent looked at both of you knowingly placing her hand on a closed manila envelope. |I know you both don’t care to revisit this day but I’m afraid we must. We need each of your statements and a line up has been set up for you both to look at to identify the men that assaulted you. But don’t worry they cannot see you.” Her voice was calm and reassuring, you wondered how many times she had to do this? Probably too many times to count which sent a cold shiver up your spine.

It only took 30 minutes for both of you to give your statements. You had learned the woman you saved was named Luca and she was on her way home from a study group that night. They had come up behind her groping and laughing before shoving her into the alleyway to attack her. Your fists clenched into angry balls listening to her recount the fight she had to put up to protect herself, her sobs reverberated through your skull fueling your rage.    

After she was finished you told your story and you felt Luca reach over covering your balled up fists with her soft hand. She was trying to sooth you as you relived the moment in your mind. Your voice began to falter when you neared the end of your story, you had thought you were going to die where you were saved by four massive mutant turtles. What should you say? You obviously can’t say the truth. They would think you were batshit crazy. Before you could finish Rebecca coughed startling you to a stop. Your eyes met hers, you could see the hesitance in her gaze.

“That’s when the officer found you right?” She finished for you thankfully. You had forgotten she knew about them.

“Yes, yes I’m sorry. It all happened so fast, I was dizzy from the blows to the back of my head and the lack of oxygen. The officer came out of nowhere and saved me tackling the guy to the ground.” You took a few deep breaths, you hated lying but this was something Luca didn’t need to know about. Hell you shouldn’t even know about them.

The walk to the lineup was excruciatingly long. You wanted this over and you wanted them behind bars. Entering into the dark room you looked into a large room behind what you assumed was a two-way mirror that was sound proof. There was a large white board on the wall with measurements to get the assailants height. Rebecca pressed the red button on the wall and told the other person on the next line to send them in.

After a few moments six men marched into the room looking very angry and stood a few feet away from each other their back against the white wall. Your gut rolled in knots recognizing all three of the men who attacked you both and by the look of Luca’s face she recognized them too.

“Ladies?” Rebecca started. “Do you recognize anyone in the line up from that night?”

You both nodded and at the same time answered. “Two, Four and Five.”  

As if they could hear you the last one who nearly killed you laughed and pointed at the mirror rubbing his crotch. “Ladies, I know you’re there. When I get out I’ll find you and finish what we started.”

“Bring it motherfucker.” You hissed under your breath ready to punch the glass that separated you from that scum. If he wanted a rematch you’d give him one. This poor excuse for a human wasn’t going to scare you; you would fight if you had too. He wasn’t going to affect your life, you were no helpless sheep.

“Please note both victims identified perps Two, Four and five as their assailants and please note what Five threatened and his lewd gesture.” Rebecca called to her assistant before pressing the red button again to remove them from your sight.  

That night was the first night in a while you slept well, Luca and you have identified them without hesitation and that idiot pretty much confessed right to the chief of police. Rebecca said with the samples they pulled from Luca when she went to the hospital that night matched all three of the men and would mean a slam dunk in court. Those assholes would be found guilty.

The next day at work was easy, it was Friday and the boss was gone today so the usual stress wasn’t looming in the air. A rep had shown up bringing bagels for the office which was a score for the day as well. Now the day was over and it was time to get out of here for the weekend. Saying goodbye to your co-workers you headed out into the night towards your car. As usual your eyes scanned the alleyway and found nothing but you decided to walk over to it anyways. Not entering into the darkness you stood there eyes drawn to the dumpster that the back of your head had met several times. A phantom pain throbbed unexpectedly and you rubbed it away.

“Are you looking for anything in particular Ma’am?” A voice suddenly came in the darkness catching you off guard.

The familiar faces of Leonardo and Donatello emerged from the shadows their eyes solely on you. This was the first time you had seen them out of their home and without the haze of a concussion. On the back of Leo you could see hilts of twin katanas strapped to his back with his harness and the ends of the hilts were wrapped in blue ribbon with tails whipping in the wind. Behind Donnie was a long bo staff but it looked like it was modified? Like there were electric prongs at each end? Was it electrified?

There was a long silence before you realized you hadn’t said anything back to the two mutant turtles. You coughed sheepishly and stepped into the opening of the alleyway towards the turtles, away from prying eyes.

“I might have been looking for someone? What’s it to ya?” you felt a little bold coming from a good day at work and the look Leo was giving you gave you a boost of confidence. You licked your lips and by pasted the blue turtle making sure to brush up against him slightly to get to Donnie. You had only one other interaction with Leo but there was something with him tonight? His playful posture and his eyes were electric. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him turn to follow your body into his brother’s arms. You heard his tongue click in the back of his throat in a silent retort.

Donnie saw the hug coming so he leaned down accepting your embrace wrapping his arms around you picking you up off the ground. Setting you back down on the ground your feet shuffled back into something hard, looking up you because painfully aware your backside was pressed up against Leo’s hard plastron.

Leo rested his large hands on your hips steadying you but kept you right where he wanted you, against him. Without you knowing he took a deep breath taking in your smell, sweet and intoxicating just like the other night. It hadn’t diminished in the slightest to his delight.

“The lair has been abuzz since your quick presence the other day. We came up here wondering if you wanted another trip down if you had any more questions for us?” Leo leaned down almost whispering in your ear, his lips brushing the top of your earlobe.

He was deliberating trying to make you feel hot and bothered and it was working. Heat, unbearable delicious heat shot to the apex of your thighs when the hot breath from his mouth skimmed over the sensitive skin of your neck. You tried not to squeeze your legs together to squelch the throbbing he had started but your body was moving involuntary at this point and he had noticed. The jerk, what was he getting at? He had to have realized your attraction to him; you were practically drooling that night in their home, which was the only logical explanation for this sexual tension between you two. You had only met them once but he was unquestionably playing to that. The question was, did he return the attraction or was he just playing with you?

Chapter Three

Chapter Two

Chapter One

#tmnt #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raphael #tmnt fanfiction #TMNT TMNT fanfiction #oneshot

[overwatchworks]

Love and Rage:

Chapter 1

"My name. Is Genji." He hissed, the metal of the examination table creaking and denting under his clenched prosthetic fingers. Angela stared at him in mild shock, lips pressed together in a tight line while Reyes tilted his head a bit, getting a more steely air to his demeanor.

"Well then, Genji," Reyes drew out the name, testing it, eyes hard, face unreadable, before continuing.

"Welcome to Blackwatch."

Jesse was walking with Reyes to the med bay, two weeks since he had last visited. Two weeks since he had last seen Genji. It had been a rough wait, rough time, but Jesse didn't care at this point. Reyes was striding smoothly beside him, speaking quietly into his comm, words Jesse didn't bother with listening in on. 

He didn't know how he felt about seeing Genji again, or rather, he was uncertain as to how the other man would react to him again. Would it be just as bad as last time? Would it be worse? Did Genji still hate him, still blame him? Those thoughts and more had been tumbling through his mind for the past two weeks, stealing his sleep, interrupting his focus, impossible to drown out. 

His main thought--and most concerning--however, was how much had Genji changed? Would he even be talking to the same man, or would it be but a shadow of the person he loved? 

Jesse was tapping his fingers against his gun holster absently, a nervous gesture on his part, but one he could hardly notice with the way his thoughts were swirling. He didn't dare let his hopes get up again though, last time a testimony to his mistake. Reyes glanced over at him, pressing his comm off and frowning a bit.

"You're still okay with doing this, right?" He asked, Jesse blinking and looking up at him.

"Sorry, what?"

"You okay with this?" Reyes repeated, arms crossing over his chest.

"I'm--Yeah, I'm good with it." Jesse muttered, and Reyes raised a brow at him.

"You sound so convinced."

Jesse stopped suddenly, rubbing his hands over his face and taking a deep breath.

"Okay, so maybe I'm nervous. Maybe I'm worried. But Gabe, the man in there, he ain't the same man I knew. I realize that now, an' I accept it, and yeah, I'm a bit nervous to see how he's gonna react to me again. Last time was bad. He hates me, okay? He blames me for what's happened to him, and I've had far too long to stew on it, and to agree with it.”

“I'm scared to see what else has changed, and I'm worried sick 'bout him in general. He ain't okay boss, and I...I dunno if I can even help him anymore...I don’t know if he'll even let me...But I really, really wanna try." Jesse told him. He breathed out slowly, then shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor.

"Sorry, had to get that out..." He mumbled. Reyes stared at him for a moment, then shrugged, continuing down the hall.

"Alright then. So long as you're sure. This is gonna be a tough job kid, I'm not gonna lie."

"I know. But I ain't gonna leave him. We brought him back for a reason, and I'm gonna help as much as I can."

Gabe rolled his eyes fondly, sighing a bit as they reached the medical wing.

"Just do your best, Jesse. You're probably the only one that can help him at this point."

Jesse nodded, uncharacteristically quiet when they got to where Dr. Ziegler had been working on Genji. Reyes pushed the door open, Jesse following after him and staying back against the wall by the exit. The doctor had Genji sitting on an examination table, testing his limbs and checking over his vitals one last time before he could go.

"Ah, there you are, commander. I just have a few more quick tests to run, then I shall turn everything over to you." Angela informed Reyes, not looking up from her clipboard as she scribbled something down on it. 

Jesse stared at his feet the whole time, not daring to look up and meet Genji's gaze--something that he could feel burning into him while he waited.

"Mm, so, he can walk and use his prosthetics relatively well, though it is still a work in progress to make everything as smooth as it used to be. He will need extensive work on fine motor skills and learning how much stronger his new limbs are, how to properly control them."

Jesse listened intently, figuring out what Genji would need help with and making mental note of it all.

"He may also need help with his mental stability; so far he has shown that he is prone to random outbursts of anger and aggression, lashing out physically and verbally, volatile, but he keeps to himself for the most part. He shouldn't be too much trouble otherwise." She told them, Jesse feeling a bit uncomfortable at how they were discussing something so personal so casually, and right in front of the person it was about. 

He glanced up for a moment, eyes flicking to Genji's hunched form, wires on the back of his head and neck still hooked up to the machinery behind him. Genji was staring resolutely at the ground below his feet, hands clenching visibly against the edge of the examination table.

"Okay, thank you doctor. Would you mind sending me the files for this, and then again whenever you do check ups on him? I'll need those for reports." Reyes implored, and the blonde doctor finally looked up from her tablet.

"Ja, I can do that. If you ever see anything going wrong with him, or think he needs to be checked up on, send him back here, and I will fix him up. I can always make improvements as well, should you find he is lacking something to your needs."

Jesse's lip curled slightly at that, and he saw Genji tense up as well, glaring heatedly at the doctor who was pointedly avoiding his eyes.

"Alright, I will. Is he ready to leave now?" Reyes asked, and Dr. Ziegler went around to unhook Genji from the machines.

"Yes. I want him back for check ups every other day until I am certain everything is working just fine with him, though I doubt you'll run into any problems." She said, letting the wires hang loose and stepping away from Genji when she was done.

"There, he's ready to go with you."

Reyes smiled coolly at the doctor.

"Good work here, Angela. Everyone will be properly impressed with him."

"Genji."

They all went quiet and still, looking over to Genji, who was still hunched over, his voice low and dangerous.

"My name. Is Genji." He hissed, the metal of the examination table creaking and denting under his clenched prosthetic fingers. Angela stared at him in mild shock, lips pressed together in a tight line while Reyes tilted his head a bit, getting a more steely air to his demeanor.

"Well then, Genji," Reyes drew out the name, testing it, eyes hard, face unreadable, before continuing.

"Welcome to Blackwatch."

---

Genji mostly stayed locked in his room, ignoring everyone and everything. Jesse would come by every day and call for him, try and get him to come to training, but of course he never got a response. They hadn't talked much since the first time in the med bay, but when they did, it normally went badly. 

Genji had accused him of lying about what he did, keeping his job a secret and then dragging Genji back with him unbidden. Now, he was stuck in this organization as well, not able to get away because he now was forced to be a weapon for their cause in exchange for his life--a life he hadn't wanted fixed, hadn't wanted saved if this is what it meant he had to do. 

Jesse had tried to explain himself, told Genji everything about what he did, how he got here, why he had this job, but it fell on deaf ears. Genji didn't want to listen to Jesse's excuses, and frankly, Jesse was tired of trying to give them. He had tried his best to make things right, but two had to be in favour of making it so. 

Genji would only come out when Reyes would knock, saying he needed to go do some testing back in the med bay. Jesse would follow him during these trips, staying behind Reyes and Genji both, trying not to get on Genji's nerves too much. Until Reyes stopped showing up at the door two days in to coddle the new recruit, and instead just sent Jesse to pick him up. 

The first time he went alone, Jesse had hardly raised his hand before the door opened with a hiss, Genji shoving past him and down the hall, headed for the med bay.

"Hey now, wait up just a sec!" Jesse called, jogging a bit to catch up with Genji's swift pace.

"I know how to get there." Genji growled, voice having a metallic lilt to it from the mask. He still sounded like the words were being ripped from his throat, guttural and unnatural. His flesh hand clenched at his side, pace picking up even more.

"Well, of course you do, we all do here. I’ve taken this trek more times than I can count, and yet here we are." Jesse muttered, messing with the brim of his hat and keeping up with Genji easily.

"Alone, McCree." He hissed. Jesse winced slightly at the use of his surname, sounding foreign and wrong coming from Genji.

"No can do." Jesse deadpanned, sick and tired of trying his hardest only to be met with hate. He was just tired at this point, so, so tired.

"Leave me alone, McCree. I don't want you around."

"Nope. Like I said, no can do." Jesse sighed, shoulders hunching slightly as he shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. His throat felt tight, chest even tighter, but he had gotten pretty good at ignoring those particular feelings over the past few weeks.

"Why not." Genji gritted out, now slowing down a bit, his fingers flicking a bit in frustration, perhaps nerves.

“'Cause I gotta job to do, an' I’m going to get it done. Simple as that. But you’re makin' it pretty damn hard for me here, darlin', makin' harder for the both of us." Jesse quipped quietly, meeting Genji's hard eyes when they finally turned to him.

"Don't call me that. And I'm so sorry you have it so rough, McCree, I really, truly am. I'm sorry that your job is so tough because you can't get over your feelings, because you still think you love me. Sorry I'm making it so hard on you because I don't love you back." Genji didn't quite shout, but his voice raised, taking a cold, almost cruel edge. Jesse stared straight ahead, continuing to walk to the med bay. 

He was so sick of this shit, so sick of trying.

"Mkay then." He hummed, taking the lead now. He wouldn't give Genji the satisfaction of knowing how much that hurt, how much it made him want to stop, just stop everything he had been trying to do. 

They continued walking in silence, Jesse hearing Genji fidget a bit behind him, metal feet clicking on the hard white tile below them. The med bay came into sight and Jesse opened the door to the room Genji would always go in, holding it for him as he walked past, not meeting his eyes.

"I'll come back for you when it's done." Jesse told Genji as the other man hesitated before sitting on the examination table. 

Genji looked up at him, flesh fingers tapping the end of the table, and it looked like he was debating whether or not to say something. Whatever it was, Jesse wasn't in the mood for hearing it. He was about to walk out the door when Genji piped up again.

"McCree..."

"You wanted to be alone Genji, so congratulations. I'm leaving you alone." Jesse said, voice devoid of any real emotion. 

He left without another word, pulling out a cigarette as soon as the door shut behind him.

~*~*~*~

Genji had known Jesse would be coming to pick him up for his examination today, but he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He had been trying to drive Jesse away, but also tried to get closer to him, to seek the only comfort he now had. It was confusing. 

Often, he wanted to lash out at the man for bringing him back here, for the situation that was forced on them both, the situation he was forcing on Jesse and making it seem like his fault when he knew he shouldn't. When he knew it wasn't. But there were other moments when he just wanted those arms back around him, so he wouldn't have to cry alone, so he wouldn't have to feel so utterly lost. 

He wanted that smile again, those lips to his temple, to his own, Jesse assuring him everything would be okay. Genji just didn't know how to communicate that now, with what he had become, with how badly his anger was spiking. He couldn't understand why Jesse was still being so sweet to him when all Genji had done was hurt him. 

Genji punched in the passcode to his door when he heard the tell-tale sound of spurred boots coming to his door, and it opened with a hiss. Jesse had his fist raised to knock, and Genji didn't miss how his eyes still seemed to get brighter when they landed on him. How? 

Genji shoved past him, not really meaning to be rough, just desperate for some contact--any kind of contact--and he started for the med bay.

"Hey now, wait up just a sec!" Jesse called, Genji hearing him pick up his pace a bit.

"I know how to get there." Genji growled, hating the way his voice sounded so different, so horrible, even when he tried to make it softer. Genji felt another spike of anger, and he took a deep breath as he tried to keep it down.

"Well, of course you do, we all do here. I’ve taken this trek more time's than I can count, and yet here we are." Jesse mumbled.

"Alone, McCree." Genji hissed, hoping he could spare Jesse being the target of an impromptu fit of rage.

"No can do." Jesse deadpanned, and Genji felt the feeling spike as he was misunderstood, yet again not getting the words he meant to out.

"Leave me alone, McCree. I don't want you around."

Please don't leave me alone again, Jesse, I need you.

"Nope. Like I said, no can do." Jesse sighed, shoulders hunching slightly as he shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoodie.

"Why not."

Thank you.

"'Cause I gotta job to do, an' I’m going to get it done. Simple as that. But you’re makin' it pretty damn hard for me here, darlin', makin' harder for the both of us." Jesse told him quietly, and Genji could see how tired he was, probably having this same argument with himself many times before now. 

Genji turned to him, stared for a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order before something came tumbling unbidden out of his mouth, but it was too late, his lips were already moving.

"Don't call me that,"

No, thank you for still holding me that dear.

"And I'm so sorry you have it so rough, McCree, I really, truly am,"

No, I am, I am so sorry I'm putting you through this too, it's not fair of me, I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry that your job is so tough because you can't get over your feelings, because you still think you love me."

No, no no! How can you still love me? How can you still be so kind and so caring when I'm like this? How can you still make me feel special just by looking at me? How can you stand to stay around me when no one else can, when no one else will?

"Sorry I'm making it so hard on you because I don't love you back."

I love you, I love you, I love you so much Jesse, I need you, I love you, please stay with me, please, I love you too, so much.

But Jesse could only hear what he said, not what he had meant, Genji's cold voice still ringing in his own ears as he quickly looked away, hating how horrible it all was.

"Mkay then." Was all Jesse said, and Genji glanced up, almost reaching out as he walked past, Jesse's eyes staring resolutely ahead. 

Genji hesitated for a moment, trying to blink away the tears that had blurred the edges of his vision, hating how he had hurt Jesse so much, no matter how much the cowboy tried to seem like he wasn't. He followed after Jesse in silence, looking down at his mismatched hands and feeling the simmer of anger die down when his eyes flicked up to the cowboy. 

They made it to the med bay, Jesse holding the door open for Genji but not meeting his eyes anymore.

"I'll come back for you when it's done."

Genji stared back at Jesse as he hopped up onto the examination table, already tensing up. He had to say something, couldn't just let him leave like that, had to let him know Genji hated hurting him like that. Jesse was walking towards the door when Genji found his voice again.

"McCree..."

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me, I didn't mean that, I love you, please don't go, I love you.

"You wanted to be alone Genji, so congratulations. I'm leaving you alone." Jesse said, voice cold and empty, just like Genji's had been. 

Genji immediately looked down, lip trembling beneath the mask, eyes brimming with the tears he had tried to hold back earlier. Jesse left without another word or backward glance, and Genji curled into himself, tears dripping onto the table and his hands.

"I-I'm sorry..." He whispered. Dr. Ziegler's heels clicked as she came in with a tablet and some needles.

"Hm?"

He didn’t answer, and she didn't notice his tears, didn't notice how hurt he felt on the inside. Genji stayed quiet, not trusting his voice anymore, not trusting the doctor standing in front of him who didn't know that by trying to fix Genji, she was only breaking him more.

~~

#mcgenji #jesse mccree #genji shimada #gabriel reyes #angela ziegler #blackwatchAU #WhiskeyWrites #fanfic #long post #back on my bs

[pennywaltzy]

Therapeutic (1/7)

So this one is one of the oldest fics I finished, starting it at some point around season 3 of CSI: NY. I dropped a lot of the older fics I was trying to finish but I was proud to finish this one, as it’s one of the few times I’ve dabbled in the Law & Order fandom. Please enjoy!

Therapeutic - In Danny's eyes, the hits just keep on coming...though this particular hit may turn out all right in the end.

READ CHAPTER 1 | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI?

Dr. Emil Skoda looked at the file on his desk. Normally, he didn't work with the NYPD on anything but cases. But every once in a while, there was a person who would grab his attention. This file held information on one of them.

He sat down and picked it up. It had been walked over and put it directly into his hands by the man in charge of the crime lab. Skoda adjusted his glasses and began to read up on the man who was important enough to the crime lab that they'd ask him to deal with his mandated therapy.

Detective Daniel Messer. Graduated at the top of his class, was hand-picked for the crime lab by the man in charge, Detective Mac Taylor. Came from a family in Staten Island who may or may not have had connections to a crime family. His brother had been a member of the Tanglewood Boys, though Detective Messer had kept his own nose clean. He'd had a string of horrible luck lately...shot an undercover cop, and then went against his boss when he dealt with it. Was the prime suspect in a fifteen-year-old murder until his brother wore a wire and cleared him, getting beaten into a coma in the process. Two of his co-workers had both been severely injured, one by an ex-boyfriend at her home, the other in the nasty round of explosions that had gripped the city recently. And then there was the gruesome murder of a former co-worker that he had been close to.

Skoda kept reading. The more he read, the more he realized he was getting the same feeling he'd had when dealing with Stabler, only there were times he wondered if Stabler was already a lost cause. This guy...this kid, because in all honesty that's what he was...with some help, he could end up surviving his job. Skoda closed the folder and tapped it on his desk a few times. Detective Taylor's belief in his team was common knowledge around the department. And if Taylor had handpicked him to help deal with the troubled young detective, the least he could do was try.

---

"Mac, I don't need therapy." Danny stood inside Mac's doorway, holding up a piece of paper. "I'm just fine."

"You're lying," Mac said without looking up from the paperwork he was filling out.

Danny took a deep breath and counted to ten before exhaling and replying. "It's not affecting my job."

"It is."

"Is this true? Are you going to fire me if I don't go?" he said, shaking the paper.

"I will."

"Are you going to answer everything I say with two words?" He was getting angry, angrier than he had been once he'd read the letter. An official letter, not even from Mac, saying that he needed to go into therapy with an NYPD approved psychiatrist.

Mac finally looked up. "I picked the man out myself, Danny. He works with the homicide department. He's a good doctor. And from what I've heard, he can even deal with hotheads like yourself." Mac pulled a file from his desk, set it down on his paperwork and opened it up. "You have six sessions to begin actually talking to him. I'll give you that much time. If you don't start making progress in a few months you're going to have to leave the lab."

Danny bit his tongue to keep from saying something. He was beyond pissed. Absolutely enraged was pretty close to the truth. "No one else is having to do this."

"No one else is as close to a breaking point as you are." Mac gave him a look, one that signaled that the conversation was over, and Danny took the hint and stormed out of Mac's office.

This wasn't the way he had wanted things to go down. Had he had his way, the last six months would never have happened. Stella and Flack would never have been hurt, Aiden would never have been murdered, Louie would never have had to try and clear his brother's name...

With that, Mac sighed. No, he didn't want things to turn out the way they had, but at the moment, he was dealing with the fallout as best he could. And he was going to try his best to make sure Danny did the same.

#csi ny #csi new york #law & order #emil skoda #danny messer #mac taylor #multipart: therapeutic #queuel beans

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 2/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Heyo, yall! Just hope yall are enjoying this fic so far. I worked really hard on it, but so proud. So many times I just wanted to quit it. But I stuck it out!

Major TW for this chapter: Child abuse mentions // mental breakdown // Anxiety // Dementia mentions

2020

I flinched, feeling a hand lightly slap my foot twice. "Wake up, Princess."

I rolled over slightly, blinking as if to clear my vision. Jujubee looked as if she had been awake for hours, looking fresh as fuck in her dressing gown. She must have had a shower hours before because, despite the dry hair, I could smell the mango and papaya soap. Fuck, it smelt so good.

Then there was me; hair wrecked, makeup long expired, body smelling of that typical hangover smell. Like a hospital, except unclean.

I whined like a child, rolled back over on my stomach and buried my face hoping it would stop my head from pounding.

"Nope. Not happened." Jujubee sat down on the bed and shook me.

"What time is it?" I asked with my face still smushed into the pillow.

"It's 2PM." She answered.

That's what got me up. I threw the covers back and went to stand. "Fuck!"

Jujubee grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. "Relax. It's our day off, remember?"

I whined even more, curling up with my head in her lap.

"Not that it makes a difference considering you're always late anyway," Jujubee added as she stroked my unbrushed hair.

"Shut up. I'm the boss. I can do what I want." I mumbled.

"Ah, Brianna Caldwell, you never change." Jujubee quipped. "Only follows the rules whenever it suits her, bosses everyone around - -"

"I do not, you whore. And can you please not speak to me so loud right now?" I pulled myself up and tousled my hair. "I need some shades or something."

I always needed shades when I was hungover, so Jujubee was already prepared. She pulled them from her pocket and handed them over. "Shade up, baby girl."

Life was already so much better with them on.

"But back to the topic at hand, though. Don't you remember the chess boys from high school?" Jujubee spoke a bit quieter now. "You literally bossed them around."

"They let me boss them around 'cause they wanted to sleep with me, Jujubee," I replied, reaching for my phone.

"And, you bossed me around too." Jujubee raised her brows.

"Mmmm, I don't remember that." I hummed, feeling pretty much over the conversation.

It took Jujubee an hour to convince me to get out of bed and clean myself up. After finally getting showered and dressed, we were out of the apartment and already heading to Starbucks.

I could have made my own coffee, but that required effort. And that I wasn't willing to give that day.

We were sitting at a booth in the back, with minimal effort in trying to go incognito. But this was a regular hang out for us. There was no need to worry about our names being shouted out. The baristas eventually learned to just bring our orders to us. It made Jujubee feel bad, but I didn't mind.

The barista, Kyle, came over and put our drinks down on the table.

"I deserve this. I really, really deserve this." I said, already taking a sip of my coffee.

"Congrats on last night. The boss said if you both need a refill, just let me know." Kyle winked. God bless Kyle. "So, When's the launch day?"

"Kyle, as charming as you are, you'll just have to wait like everybody else." I tried my best to beam a smile.

"Alright. Enjoy, ladies." And Kyle walked away.

Jujubee let her eyes follow for a moment longer. I know she was literally staring at nothing in particular, but I decided to have a bit of fun. "Go ask him out, Juju."

"Girl, you ask him out," Jujubee smirked. "I'm happy enough being a crazy cat lady. I don't need no man."

I knew it was a joke. Jujubee wasn't the type to encourage me to find someone. It was like she knew how it could bother me.

Despite liking the single life, I kind of did like the sound of being with someone. Maybe it was the fear of the past that stopped me from pursuing a relationship. I had a few girlfriends in the past. But they hadn't lasted long. I was afraid they would have somehow found out about my past self. Because, once upon a time, nobody would've even dared think of me as an attractive, promiscuous, alluring, single female.

But now that I had the glow-up of the century, dyed my hair blonde, I had quite a lot of admirers. It only really started to occur when NASA began sponsoring the project, bringing more traction.

My phone started ringing, but I paid no heed.

Jujubee, however, almost dropped her drink.

"Girl, why is Ed Sheeran calling you?" Jujubee raised a brow.

And as soon as the name met my ears, I was reminded of the night before. "Oh, God." I held my head in my hands.

"What did you do?" Jujubee was already groaning.

"I fucked up," I answered.

"You didn't have a quicky with him or something, right?" Jujubee questioned further.

I lifted my head, looking at her with squinted eyes. "What? No. Ew. Juju." I sipped my coffee before bearing the news. "OK, so...I don't know why I did it, maybe 'cause I'm a mess when I'm drunk, but I…" I lowered my tone, "kinda offered him the chance to be the first person to go into the other world."

"What?? I thought we were gonna do that!" Jujubee was freaking out.

"I know. I fucked up."

"Well, call him back."

"And, tell him what? 'Sorry, Ed. Jk'?"

Jujubee's forehead was in her hands, "I was really excited." She whined.

As I said before, this meant a lot to us. We hadn't discussed it with the team yet, but Jujubee and I had privately planned that we'd be first to enter the other world. So you could understand this was incredibly disappointing for her.

"OK. How about this? Ed will go in for 5 minutes. After that, we bring him back to Earth. And then we fly off by ourselves?" I suggested.

"I was looking forward to the pink sky. And the flying horses. And the…"

Jujubee went on a ramble as my phone began to ring again. I picked it up, letting it ring for a few seconds before declining Ed Sheeran's call.

I checked if there were any texts from him. Nada. But there was one message that caught my attention. The memory of reading it the previous night came flooding back.

Jujubee was still rambling, but I put my phone down and leaned across the table slightly. "Juju, do you remember Blair St Clair?"

Jujubee's expression changed instantaneously. "Girl, of course, I do. You were in love with her for years."

"Oh my God, can you whisper, please?" I questioned, the desperation in my voice very much apparent.

"Brianna, she's back in Ohio. We're in New York. I don't think anyone's gonna go and tell."

"You never know," I briefly looked behind me for fear that somehow the world decided to shit on my luck and make her appear in the booth behind me.

"Girl, chill out. And yes, I do remember her." Jujubee replied, "you know something that always stuck with me? Please don't ask why, but I'll never forget the day you told me you were in love with her. You came out to me that day too."

-_-_-_-

1995

"Juju, I gotta tell you something," I said, throwing my doll to the side of the fort. If I didn't tell her the truth now, I never would.

"What is it?" Jujubee sounded scared.

I crossed my legs in a pretzel shape, straightened my back and declared, "Juju, I like girls. And Blair St Clair is the girl I'm in love with."

I was expecting amazement, awe, shock. But Jujubee just seemed confused.

"What? How is that possible?" She asked.

"You promise you can keep a secret?" I offered my pinky.

Jujubee joined hers with mine. "Of course I can."

"OK." Our fingers remained twisted around each other. "Well, I saw two ladies in the mall kissing. And my Mommy told me girls can like girls. And I had an a-piffa-tree. The reason I like Blair so much is because I'm in love with her!"

"Brie-Brie, you need to slow down." Jujubee put her hand up. "If girls can like girls, then how come we never see girls kissing girls? It's always boys and girls."

"I don't know."

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Nope."

"Then, how are you sure?"

"I don't know. You ever get that weird feeling inside that tells you that you're right? I can feel it. I know I'm not lying."

"Wooow." Jujubee looked away briefly. "Does that mean you like me?"

"I don't know. You're my friend, Juju." I shrugged. "I mean, maybe we should kiss just to figure it out."

Juju looked like she was contemplating this for a moment before nodding her head and sitting up. "OK!"

I didn't even hesitate. Instead, I moved closer and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Ew!" We both pulled away.

We both agreed to never do that again, nor ever speak of it.

As if nothing had happened, we continued on playing with our dolls for another hour before the rain came out.

I walked Jujubee home, feeling very much like 'the big girl' being all responsible.

And in walking back to my own place, wrapping my arms around myself, I saw Blair - walking alone, drenched from head to toe.

"Blair!" I ran towards her.

She turned to look at me, her face scrunched up, trying to see through the downpour.

Call it instinct, but I knew something was up, just from how she was looking at me. I put my hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong?? Are you OK?"

"I'm lost. I-I'm trying to find my way home." She said quietly.

"What. How did you - -" I stopped myself from talking any further. Instead, I took Blair by the hand and pulled her towards the bus shelter off to the side of the road.

We both sat down when we got inside. She was shaking, close to catching a cold in the awful weather. Not to mention she had no jacket on. So I pulled my arm out of its sleeve and draped half of the coat over her.

"What happened to your coat?" I asked

"I didn't bring it." She replied.

"Why not? It's cold. You're going to get sick."

"I'm sorry. I just...ran."

I was silent for a moment. Then, "What do you mean?"

She was also silent for a moment, her blue eyes drifting to the ground. "Brianna...is it normal for Daddies to shout real loud all the time? Do they smash things a lot?"

No. It was not expected. I may not have had a Father figure in my life, but I knew well enough. "Blair, what happened?"

Blair clenched her fist around the jacket. "My Daddy...he…"

Despite her timid voice trailing off, I understood. She didn't even need to say it. "Do you have somewhere to go?"

She lifted her eyes to me, "I need to get home. I just ran as fast as I could. And somehow ended up here. I don't know my way back."

"I don't think you should go back," I admitted.

"I have to. Or he'll be even more mad."

I was wracking my brain. There was no way I could let her go back. "OK. Is there somewhere you can stay for a while? Somewhere close?"

"No." Blair shook her head. "Wait. Yeah. My Granny lives somewhere around here." She looked at me with optimism in her eyes.

"That's great! I know this place like the back of my hand. I bet I can find it in a few seconds."

After sitting for 10 more minutes, the rain was starting to settle, so Blair gave me the address, and off we went. I carried her bag for her. She was probably exhausted from all the walking.

All the while, I just listened as she talked about many things - Madonna, her Princess Belle doll, how Jade from school actually picked her nose when no one was looking. So many different topics. And I didn't speak a word. I guess I was just so...astonished. Here I was, walking along in a light rainstorm, hanging out with the prettiest girl in my class. How was this possible? Was this real life?

"You've been really quiet." Blair pointed out.

"Yeah, I just can't believe you're talking to me. What the fuck?" Yes, I said that.

Blair laughed at my potty mouth. "Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

I shrugged. "Well, I don't know. Maybe 'cause no one likes me."

Blair stopped in her tracks for a moment. "I like you."

I stopped, spun around, and looked at her with wide eyes. There was no way I heard her say those words. No fucking way.

"Come on. I know where we are now. Granny's house is around the corner." Blair began to move again.

But the butterflies in my stomach were going wild. I felt warm and wanted to just hug her. But I also didn't want to alarm her. Baby steps, Brianna.

I walked Blair to the house. Her Granny came to the door and was obviously quite confused. And Blair began to cry again.

I wanted to turn and run, feeling very out of place. But Blair grabbed me before I could leave and pulled me into a hug. She pressed her tear-stained face against my shoulder and whispered, "Thank you, Brie."

"I gotta go."

I pulled out of the hug and ran as fast I could. I don't know if I left her standing there confused or if she just knew by then it was just a me thing to be awkward.

But my mind was racing; Blair liked me. I knew not in the same way as I liked her. But, surely, that meant we could be friends.

Oh, how naive I was.

A few weeks later, it was the beginning of Summer. Mom took me to the park, and there was Blair with her friends.

I ran across the grass to the picnic blanket they were all sitting at.

"Blair!" I called excitedly. I practically threw myself down next to her, giving her a tight hug.

"Ew." Jade laughed.

"Shut up, Jade." Blair snapped.

"Are you friends with the freak now or something?" Carmen questioned, inching away from me.

"I'm not a freak!" I shouted.

"Uh, yeah, you are," Serena added. "We don't want freaks in our friend group. Go on. Get lost."

"Girls - -" Blair tried.

"You wanna join her?" Jade pointed her gaze at Blair, her face scrunched up in disgust.

I was waiting for it; The big 'fuck you' as Blair stood up, took my hand and walked away.

But she remained seated. Her eyes trailed down to the ground. I tried shaking her shoulder.

"Blair?" I spoke quietly.

She didn't say a word. It was as if she had turned to stone.

My body felt cold.

"See? She doesn't like ugly people like you. No one does." Jade smirked.

I remember the moment being more intense than it actually was. Because in a matter of seconds, the girls were screaming as I began to punch Jade in her bitchy face. I couldn't punch for shit. But if it left a bruise, I was happy.

"Brianna!" I heard my Mom's voice. Her dark arms wrapped around me, pulling me away from the now crying Jade. "We are going home right now." Mom threatened. But I didn't care.

From being dragged away from the fight scene all the way until we got home, I screamed.

Mom screamed back for a while when we were in the car. But you can't fight fire with fire. So she stopped when we pulled up.

I got in, I beat the fuck out of every object that came into my line of vision. And my shouting never stopped.

"No one wants you, ugly freak!" I smashed a vase. "Worthless piece of trash!"

Mom had been chasing me all over the house, trying to calm me down. But this wasn't like any tantrum I had ever had, and as Mom had no idea what was actually going on, she had no idea what to do.

She eventually scooped me up in her arms and held me tight as she sat on the ground. I screamed as I tried to fight off her grasp, downing out all her hushed whispers. "I got you, Baby. I got you. Mommy's here."

My screams did go on for another while, but as soon as they ended, all I could say to Mom was, "I should give up. Blair will never be my friend. I'm too ugly."

Mom stood me up, so she knew I was looking directly into her eyes. She pointed a finger in my face and spoke with a cracked but stern tone. "Don't say that. Never ever say that. You are so beautiful, and no one has the right to tell you that you're not. I want you to go look in the mirror, really, really look at yourself, Brianna. And I want you to see how pretty you are. Look at your hair, your brown eyes, your freckles. You are just as pretty as everyone else, girl. You are not ugly."

I squeezed my fists, feeling the hard lump in my throat. "Then why did my Mommy and Daddy give me away?"

Mom was stunned for a moment. She took my hand. "Baby, that had nothing to do with how you look. They…" she paused, trying to find the right words to use, "they just…" another pause, "look, I'll tell you when you're older. But I promise you are not ugly."

I couldn't hold on anymore. I let out a pained cry and immediately threw myself into her arms and buried my face in her shoulder.

-_-_-_-

2020

That was my first major emotional breakdown, marking the beginning of many more to come. But, unfortunately, Mom didn't want to immediately get me help. She had a feeling it would upset me further. And she was right.

Just as I had begun middle school, I had another huge episode. That was it. There had been too many episodes throughout those years.

You can try covering a crack in the wall with a pretty picture, but the problem would never go away, would it?

I couldn't stand therapy. Why was I the one to work on my emotions when I only felt the way I did because kids were assholes? Where were all the breathing exercises and meditation sessions to make them not be dicks?

But as much as I hated it, the older I got, I opened my eyes. What I hated the most was seeing the pain I was putting Mom through. So I really tried hard not to freak out.

I didn't want to upset Mom anymore. She really did her best. And to this day, I wouldn't change her for the world.

"We're here."

I was brought out of my thoughts as the cab pulled over. I had been so gone, just sitting in the backseat, staring at the magenta glass vase in my hands.

"Keep the change," I replied, handing the driver the money and thanking him as I got out.

He took my suitcase from the trunk and left it by my side. And with a goodbye, he drove off.

Standing at the bottom of the lawn, I looked at the house. Fuck, once upon a time, I wouldn't have been so in love with its appearance. I had no idea what my Mom was going for with the multiple colours. The outside was painted pastel yellow with a sky blue door and pink frame. Then there were the various flowerpots stuck onto the wall next to the door. All different colours; pink, green, orange or blue.

OK, I lied; as a kid, I fucking loved our house. Everyone else's was boring. But when high school rolled around, people would whisper how I was "the weird hippie chick from the rainbow crack house". So, you can understand why it quickly became an eyesore for me.

I knocked on the front door, feeling the excitement bubble within me. I had been so busy with the project, it was a few months since I last saw her in person. I glanced at the vase in my hand, the perfect Birthday gift. It was perfect because I got her a new one every year. Because I never got over the guilt from smashing her favourite vase as a child. This act was to make a point - to show that no matter how much I apologised, I was always sorry, and would always be.

I knocked again. There was only a barking behind the door. Good to know someone was in.

I still had my own key. No point in standing outside all day. I made my own way in, knowing I could just surprise her later.

"Hi, baby!" I spoke in a hushed tone as Piggie started to jump around excitedly. Fuck, I missed him so much.

I closed the door and knelt down next to the pug, bringing him into a hug and kissing him on the head. "You good boy," I said in between kisses, "Let's get you some food."

Standing back up, I made my way to the kitchen, and Piggie was only happy to follow. I still remembered where his food was kept, so I poured him a bowl. Then, while he was distracted, I took my suitcase up the stairs and into my old bedroom.

Fuck, there was always something so surreal about walking into it. I hadn't lived at home since before I went to college. From that moment on, Jujubee and I always had our own places. And now, I had my apartment in New York.

Meaning, the last time I had redecorated was years before my glow up (in personality and looks). The walls were pink, I remember them being a pretty pastel tone, but they looked duller now. Above my bed, the wall was littered with posters, writing and photos. I made eye contact with Reese Witherspoon on the Legally Blonde poster, remembering how I always wanted to be like her. Funny how I kind of did achieve that.

I realised I was just standing in the doorway, just staring. So, I sat the suitcase against my desk and went to lie down. I smirked as I found all 5'5" of my whole being still fit into it.

I took out my phone and snapped a picture of myself to Jujubee, the caption reading 'Hey, babe, my parents are out?￰ 😉😉 come over?'.

While waiting for her reply, I changed my pencil skirt and blouse, choosing to wear leggings and a tank instead. Suddenly, I felt 10 years younger.

An hour passed, and Mom was still nowhere to be seen.

"Maybe she's at work. Does she have a job?" Jujubee asked me through the phone.

"I... don't know, Juju," I murmured, my attention not really on the question but on the contents of the fridge.

There was a punnet of strawberries. I helped myself to a few.

"When was the last time you spoke to her? Seriously, Brie, I'm getting so nervous." Jujubee sounded concerned. I knew her mind was thinking of the worst. And oddly enough, I found it to be entertaining.

"A few months back, actually," I smirked. "She's been real quiet, to be honest." Piggie was at my feet, looking for one of the juicy strawberries. I shook my head at him.

"Oh God, no. Did you check every room? Talk to the neighbours?"

"Oh, fuck! Juju. My God, there's a head in the fridge!" I feigned terror.

"Brianna!"

"Relax. I'm fucking with you. I spoke to her last night." I took one more strawberry. Biting into it, the juice dripped down my fingers and onto the ground. Piggie was beyond happy now, licking it up. I let him be and made my way out of the kitchen.

"That's not funny, Brianna. Don't joke about that. I thought she was missing or...worse."

"Fair enough. Sorry, girl. Anyway, how's work today?" I walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

"Good, good. Ed Sheeran's team finally got in touch," Jujubee said with a hint of disdain.

I held my forehead in one hand, wanting to punch myself for even speaking to him the week before.

I groaned, "See, this is why I should stop drinking."

"Well, to be fair, you don't drink as much as you did back in college. But when you do, you go hard."

Jujubee continued talking, lecturing me about my life choices when I moved my foot and felt it touch something under the couch. It startled me at first, but I pulled out the item.

A slipper. Grandpa's slipper. Sitting back on the couch again, letting my eyes just stare at it. "Hey, Juju. I'm gonna go."

There was a sigh on the other end. "Fine. Not like I was talking about anything important or whatever."

"Sorry," I said quietly.

"Don't worry. I still love you, whore." She said.

"Of course you do."

I made a nasty kissing sound through the phone. She was grossed out, of course, and hung up. I chuckled for a moment and put my phone away.

Piggie came into the room and jumped up on the sofa next to me. I began to pet him, my eyes now back on the shoe.

Grandpa wore his slippers more than he wore regular shoes. Every time he found out Mom had put them in the wash, he would be furious. I would always listen to him ranting and wonder why men were gross. But I'd also laugh at how he threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

There was one time, in particular. He had gotten mad for the same reason. He huffed and came into the living room, sitting down on the couch, in the very seat I currently was sitting. He was shaking his head, just looking at the TV.

I shuffled closer to him and offered a few potato chips. His frown was immediately reversed. His smile had never seemed brighter. He took a few chips and asked with a full mouth, "Hey, kiddo. Aren't you late for school?"

It was 2PM. On a Saturday.

My smile was beginning to fade, my eyes still focused on the slipper. I could feel it - a familiar twisting feeling from somewhere within my stomach, the oxygen in my lungs seeming to fail me, a tremble taking my hands over.

And then, Piggie licking my arm.

I flinched slightly as I was brought back to the present. I smiled, petting Piggie. "Where would I be without you, baby?"

Piggie didn't answer, of course. Instead, he just licked my hand, which was enough for me to chill out.

I put Grandpa's shoe back under the couch, now inspired to search more of the house. But before I got off the couch, I checked my phone. Jujubee had Snapchatted me.

Clicking into it, I froze for a moment. She was in her bathroom, the shower running behind her. I wanted to say she was the main element to the picture, cocking her head to the side, pouting her lips and raising a brow. Despite the fact Jujubee never sent me pictures like this, it wasn't the first time I had seen her in her lingerie, though. But, I couldn't help but glance at her black lacey bra. The breath was caught in my throat for a moment.

The text read, 'You OK, babe?'

Around middle school, Jujubee developed this 6th sense, knowing when something was up with me. It was impressive.

I lifted my phone up high, took a picture and made sure to get Piggie in the frame. He wasn't looking, however.

"Piggie." He was looking now. I smiled and took the picture. I captioned it, 'Just hanging out with this one'.

I hit send. And now filled with inspiration to go on a nostalgia trip, I got up from the sofa and went off to explore. I called Piggie to follow.

I found myself upstairs, standing in the doorway of Mom's room. It felt rude to intrude. After all, a bedroom wasn't just a bedroom. It was a sanctuary, a place to be yourself, to carry out your own private rituals free from judgement, a happy place. So it felt like an intrusion to invade her space.

But I spotted the perfume bottles on her dresser. There was one bottle, in particular, a fragrance she always bought. It was her favourite - a musky scent with a hint of amber vanilla.

I couldn't resist. I made my way to the dresser, lifted the bottle and smelt the underside of the lid. Immediately, I felt my body relax. It smelled just like her. And there was no smell sweeter than the smell of your own Mother. It felt safe, loving, warm. Now, I was even more excited to see her again.

That was as far as I'd go into her room. So I put the perfume back, ushered Piggie to get down from her bed and left.

I was back in my old bedroom. I wanted this nostalgia trip to be unlike any other. So I knew exactly where I'd find it. I looked in the drawers of my desk. And in the very bottom drawer, I found it; my old diary.

"This is going to be wild, Piggie. I just know it." I smirked, sitting down on my bed, my back against the headboard. Piggie curled up beside me. We were both sitting comfortably. So I began.

'Dear Dairy'

Already, I had to pause and laugh. 7 year old me would have been a legend in a spelling bee.

'Today, I had a fight with Jujubee. She really upset me, but I upset her too. I should say sorry. That's all. Bye.'

Short and sweet, child me didn't beat around the bush. She just gave you the information you needed. That was it.

I flicked a few pages forward.

'Dear Diary,

I had another fight with Jujubee. I really don't want to upset her. But sometimes I get so angry, I don't know what to do. I lost a tooth today too. So I am going to leave a note to the tooth fairy. I want her to take all my anger from me instead of my tooth. I hope it works.'

I remembered that. I had gotten mad because we were playing house. I wanted Jujubee to be both the parents, and I'd be the two kids. She didn't want to. She wanted to play the part of a child too. I freaked out, of course. I specifically remembered telling her she'd do it if she cared about me. She said she did care. But in the heat of the moment, I didn't believe her.

"God, I was such a brat," I spoke quietly.

I skipped some pages, unsure of what I was to find. And seeing one specific name, I stopped flicking through.

'Dear Blair,

You are like the sunshine. You are…'

I stopped reading, cringing at my child self. Was this before I realised it was a crush or not? What was hilarious about this entry was how damn long it was. All other accounts were short and straight to the point. But this? It went on for 3 pages. I bet my younger self felt mega proud about writing so much. But now, I felt the need to build a fucking time machine, go back to that moment and tell little Brianna, "Guess what? Nothing happens. Blair never becomes your friend. She never feels the same way about you the way you feel about her, so stop before you make it worse for yourself!"

I decided I was taking this diary back to New York. I needed to investigate it more. And there were probably some accounts that Jujubee would cackle laughing at.

My nostalgia trip wasn't at its peak just yet. I needed something that would just send me over the edge of happiness. And I knew I'd probably find that in my memory box. But there was a problem. I had given it to my Mom, asking her to hide it away somewhere. And whenever I wanted to put something into it, I'd give it to her, and she'd hide it for me.

And I made her promise to only give it back to me when I turned 50. No matter how much I cried and begged, she could not break that promise. Young me knew one day I'd be on a one way trip down memory lane.

I was so tempted to find the box. Surely, it couldn't have been too hard to find. But Piggie growled for a moment, his ears perking up. He looked at the window and started barking. I was now aware of the sound of a car's engine. A familiar one at that.

Finally, Mom was home.

I peaked out the window to see she was grabbing her bag from the car.

Piggie and I raced down the stairs, taking the vase from the living room and waiting excitedly at the door.

Funny how with excitement there came a level of anxiety, the tiniest hint of fear bubbling in your stomach. And I felt it all as soon as I heard the jiggling of the key.

The door opened slowly as if she already knew something was unusual about the place like she was bracing herself for whatever she was going to find.

She peeked around the door. My smile was beaming.

"Happy Birthday!" I shouted.

"Jesus Christ!" Mom flinched, almost falling back and stamping on the ground. Piggie was going wild now, barking from all the excitement. "Brianna, you could have given me a heart attack!" She shut the door and clasped a hand to her chest.

I laughed at her over-the-top reaction and held out the vase. "I got you another one."

Mom looked at me, still panting from her shock. She was silent for a moment, and in that silence, I realised how much I had missed her.

Mom stepped forward, took the vase and put it to the side. As she pulled me into a tight hug, I could see her face scrunching up.

There are two people of people; those who can't stand seeing their Moms cry. And fucking liars.

Of course, I belonged to the first group. As you know, I…

Well, you already know. Here, let me put in a fun diagram of things I didn't want to deal with at that moment.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, you bitch." Mom spoke softly in my ear as she cried.

"I couldn't help myself." I forced a smile.

As much as I hated seeing her cry, I knew she needed it. Me being the only child she ever had, it broke her heart when I moved out in the first place. I'd imagine it was tough now that she was alone.

Yeah, she had Piggie. But it obviously wasn't enough. So I let her cry it out as she hugged me. I could smell the perfume, and again, I felt that safety, the security a Mother's love brings.

When she pulled away, she immediately moved to the kitchen, already brewing some tea. I let her know that I didn't mind if she had to go upstairs and change or anything. But she insisted we get into the catch-up.

"I invited some people from work to come over later. You remember the flower shop beside the old church?" Mom rambled, her shaking hands pouring the tea into two mugs.

"Of course I do," I answered, sitting at the table, with Piggie in my lap.

"Yeah, I work there now." Mom replied.

I felt bad. This shouldn't have been news. It was my part to already know that.

Mom sat at the table, placing the mugs down too. Piggie's attention was drawn to them, licking his lips with thirst.

"So I hope you're not jet-lagged, girl." The excitement was practically radiating from her face.

I was a bit exhausted, but she deserved to have a great night. "I'm good. Don't worry."

"Oh, and your aunt is coming." She added, sipping her tea.

"Aunt Monét! Yes, bitch."

It had been a very, very long time since I last saw Monét. She knew how to turn a party. And she was always so glamorous. I remember numerous times as a child asking her to teach me her ways, be my mentor, so I could grow up to look as good as she did.

"So, it's gonna be a long night. Be prepared." Mom said.

"So, it's a party?"

"Not my plan, but knowing Monét, that's how it will turn out. Anyway, I saw pictures from the event last week. You looked great up on that stage, baby. Keep doing me proud."

I gave her a gracious smile as I sipped my tea. A small drop fell onto my lap. Piggie was searching for it, but it had already soaked in. Sorry, Piggie.

"Yeah, I kinda fucked up, though," I said, playing with one of the dog's ears.

"'Fuck’ always has been your favourite word," Mom shook her head, "Go ahead. Tell me, what did you do?"

"So at the after-party, I kinda offered Ed Sheeran to be the first person to go through. Please don't ask me why. The answer is; I was drunk. I don't have a more logical explanation for you right now."

Mom was silent for a moment, her eyes narrowing. "Ed Sheeran? Why him?"

"I told you, I have no idea." I sipped my tea. "I'm just a fucking idiot when I'm drunk."

"So, what now? Is he actually going to do it?"

"Yep. His team got in contact. Everything is set in stone." I was ashamed of the whole Ed Sheeran thing, but now telling this to my Mother, it felt all the more embarrassing.

"Oh, God. This is going in history books, girl." Mom held her forehead in her hand.

"I know," I reciprocated. "Even worse, now they're asking the big questions like 'is the atmosphere safe on the other side?' We're still in the middle of working all that out."

"OK, asides from the Ed Sheeran fuck up," Mom put her hand on mine, "I am extremely proud of how far you've come since you were just a kid."

Uh oh. This wasn't what I wanted.

"And I know you're so busy with this whole thing, but sometimes, I just wish you'd call."

Fuck. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no. I don't wanna make you feel bad, girl. Like I said, you're a busy lady." She held a hand up.

But still, I felt bad.

"Shit. I was supposed to pick up some lemonade on the way home." Mom stood up, taking her tea with her. She had barely touched it.

"I could go to the store if you want," I suggested, taking a big gulp of tea.

"I mean, if you wanna, go for it. Tina still works there. It would be nice to see her again." Mom continued. She reached in her pocket.

I kissed Piggie on the head before putting him on the ground. "It's OK. I got it." I stood up from the table.

We had a bit of back and forth about who paid. I left before she could even give me her spare change.

Before I walked out the door, Piggie looked sad to see me go. Of course, I was coming back, but he didn't know that. Therefore I felt guilty.

I put my sunglasses on as I walked out the door. It wasn't even sunny out, but I knew I'd probably get stopped by people I used to know to dive deep into conversations about how far I had come. I had things on my mind, so many thoughts circling in my head.

I knew I should have put more effort into staying in contact with Mom. But after years of putting her through hell, I felt a sense of guilt. There were a few times I'd message, and somehow the conversation would take a turn, and she'd bring up a childhood memory.

I was done with my past. I was once a troubled child who eventually grew up to have a better mindset. I didn't want to relay the breakdowns, all of the vases I had smashed.

Then I realised how much of a contradiction that all was as I realised it was all that was on my mind as I walked down the street. So I plugged in my earbuds and drowned out the thoughts with whatever Spotify had to offer.

#rpdr fanfiction #s10 #as5 #miz cracker #jujubee #blair st clair #bob the drag queen #blair x cracker #fluff #coming of age #hurt/comfort #lesbian au #grinder #concrit welcome #tw breakdown #tw child abuse mentions #tw dementia mentions

[toast-tit]

Piano Man

Chapter Six

mob!Tom x reader

Warnings: language, violence, mentions of smut(?)

A/N: About two more chapters and I’m done with this yeet. Just message me if you wanna be on the Tag list:)

Summary: The Ecclesiastes Pub catered to a plethora of people. Prostitutes, college students, successful businessmen and London’s most wanted. Bartenders and waitresses learned to tune out conversations from their customers quickly if they wanted to keep their head. However, people will still come looking for trouble, even if that trouble revolves around Tom Holland, the most feared mob boss around

~ ~ ~

The first day I didn’t speak. Every thought that I wanted to spew out was held captive in the back of my throat. Tom practically assigned every man to guard me, which was a bit much, considering he had an actual mafia to run. So in the end, only Harrison was with me most of the time.

We were in the basement working on self defense techniques like usual. I didn’t tape up my knuckles or anything so they were quite bruised and I felt okay with it; I was enjoying the pain they gave me. It was similar to when people pinch themselves to make sure they’re not dreaming.

Harrison noticed this little self destructive tick of mine. “Are you trying to hurt yourself on purpose, Y/N?” He asked. I didn’t answer, I kept punching, wincing slightly every time I hit the bag. Harrison rolled his eyes and unhooked my bag, so I punched at nothing. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him blankly.

“You’re either going to tape your knuckles or ice them, or punch air. Those are your choices,” he crossed his arms, waiting for my answer. I turned around and began punching the air, focusing on my footing rather than the technique itself. Harrison rolled his eyes, “Of course.” “I’d rather be doing something right now, Harrison,” my voice was quiet and breathy. His eyes grew huge and his attitude shifted to mock surprise, “She speaks! I thought you were beginning to turn into a mute.”

“I thought you’d love the fact that I finally shut up,” I said, focusing on the wall in front of me. “I mean I did for a while, but when I asked how you were for the fifth and got no response, it got annoying,” he placed his hands on my hips and shifted my position slightly, “You’re holding too much tension there. Shift to release it.”

I did as he said, shifting my position every so often. “How am I supposed to answer the question? ‘Oh I’m perfectly fine, I only have two days to live but it’s all good!’” I argued. “You don’t have two days to live, Y/N. You’re safe,” Harrison tried to reassure me, but I shook my head and started to go a little quicker.

“I don’t believe it, Harrison. I’ve heard Tom say that way too much. I don’t want you saying it too,” my breathing was getting heavier and I was growing tired, but I didn’t stop. “If Tom’s saying it, then it’s fucking true. Slow down a bit, get some rest,” he tried to put his hand over my arms, but I swatted him away and kept going.

I switched footing, but I had lost balance and slipped on the floor, landing on my tailbone. As the pain shot through my whole body, I layed on the floor, covering my face and catching my breath. Harrison offered his hand and I took it, groaning as I stood uip. “You might want to ice that,” he said and he put an arm around my shoulders and helped me out of the gym.

The second day I stayed in my room for the better part of it until someone knocked on my door at two in the afternoon. “Go away,” I shouted, but apparently they didn’t listen. Tom opened the door and entered my room. “I’m pretty sure you just did the opposite of what I said, Tom,” I stated.

He sat on the bed whilst I was in a chair with the Polaroid in my hands. I stared at the photo relentlessly, wondering how Rigsby would’ve gotten the photo, but also noting the numerous changes I had gone through the three years after the photo was taken. When I was 20, I was in a dark place, and the only way to feel lighter was to be drunk. I wouldn’t say I’m a lot better now, but I’m improving and I’m definitely a lot happier sober. Except now of course, I could go for a martini.

Tom took the photo out of my hand and I protested quietly. “You can’t keep staring at this, you’ll go mad,” he threw the photo in the trash can. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow, “I thought you said sanity wasn’t necessary, Mr. ‘Sanity didn’t get me in the position’.” “It didn’t, but I’m not completely crazy. Despite what you think, I am human, Y/N,” he smiled briefly.

“You left a reminder of your humanity on my collarbone, I’m not going to forget anytime soon,” I scoffed, showing him the faded hickey. Tom got off the bed and knelt in front of me, his fingers grazing over my skin. It was like he had never seen a hickey before, which I figured was bullshit.

Tom met my eyes and he pulled his hand back, “What are we, Y/N?” “I don’t know what you mean,” I shook my head. His hand stroked my cheek and I closed my eyes and leant into it, loving the feeling. Maybe I was crazy, crazy enough to fall for someone like him, the most dangerous man in the UK. Crazy to think my heart would stay within the barricades my mind formed to keep me safe. Crazy to believe that I could ever have a shot at love.

“I would be lying if I said I felt nothing for you,” he said, “And you would be lying if you said the same. So what are we?” “Doomed,” I opened my eyes and chuckled, “We’re doomed and have been from the start.”

Suddenly, Tom picked me up bridal style and carried me out of my room. I questioned him repeatedly, but he said nothing. He went further down the hall until he let me down and opened the door. Inside was a luxurious bedroom made for a king, I could only assume it was his. His walls were grey and white, darkness hovering over the room because of the lack of windows. I walked ahead of him, looking around the room, but I stopped once I heard the door close.

Tom stood behind me, his finger hovering under the light switch. “Leave it off,” I whispered and he did so. “So this is your room?” I asked and he rolled his eyes. “No this is Harrison’s, I don’t sleep,” he deadpanned. “A simple yes would’ve worked,” I uttered, “Why did you let me in here?”

Tom walked closer to me and put his hand behind my neck, pulling me in closer. His breath tickled my lips as he whispered, “To prove that we’re not doomed.” We both leaned in and began to kiss. At first it was gentle, like the one from that day in the bathroom, but then as it got deeper, Tom took control pulling me closer to him and started walking backwards until we both fell onto his bed.

I was on top of him and the friction was practically unbearable. I started grinding on him and he moaned into my mouth. He soon broke the kiss and started kissing down my neck, covering it in hickies no doubt. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it off roughly. I would be lying if I said I didn’t like the rougher part of Tom

His hands felt cool against my stomach as he placed his hands on my hips and held me steady. He was kissing my chest now, and I was breathing heavily, savoring every moment.

His fingers fumbled over the buttons on my jeans, but soon enough he successfully unbuttoned and unzipped them. I was now only down to my skivvies whilst Tom was still fully clothed, it was hardly fair.

“So fucking beautiful,” he whispered as his mouth reached closer to my breasts. I didn’t exactly want him to go there yet, so I hooked my finger under his chin and pulled him back to my face and he understood. Not breaking the kiss, I unbuttoned his shirt one by one and he shrugged it off and then pulling off the white shirt that was under. I smiled as we kissed, my heart beating faster as he said that. Tom removed his hands from my hips and his fingers stroked the small of my back before slowly making their way to my bra clasp.

Tom broke the kiss and he looked me in the eye, “May I?” His lips were swollen and his face was a tad flushed, he looked like a god at this moment and it turned me on so much. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted this man. I could practically hear my past self screaming in my ear as I put interlocked his fingers with mine and undid my bra, grinning as I said, “You may.”

The third day I didn’t get up until late in the morning and when I did, I realized I was sleeping alone in Tom’s room. I quickly got out of bed, regretting my efficiency. I was so fucking sore I felt like a high school athlete after a brutal game. Grabbing my clothes from the floor and putting them on, I quickly redid my hair and snuck out of the room, praying to God nobody was outside the hall.

I made it to my room with luck and closed the door immediately. Falling to my bed, I couldn’t help but think about last night. I slept with Tom Holland, the walking nightmare. The man I was so afraid of, I thanked God every night he didn’t show up at the pub. The man who had multiple chances to kill me or let me die. The man who cared for me the day in the bathroom after Chester Harris had died.

Changing my clothes and reapplying makeup, I exited my room and ran into Harrison. I noticed his knuckles were bruised and I realized I missed my training with him. “Y/N, any particular reason you skipped today?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. The little fucker knew, how could he not? “Slept in,” I grumbled and I walked past him, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “Y/N, Tom’s a man of no feeling. He doesn’t exactly know how to go on with this; if he’s cold it’s not because he’s cold. It’s new territory,” he warned.

“Please tell me I didn’t take his virginity,” I said and Harrison scoffed. “Hate to break it to you, mate, but that man has probably fucked a whole brothel,” he joked, “What I’m saying is, he’s never really had feelings for someone. The mafia is his life and so is his family, he’s never had time to settle down with a girl like on a date and shit. Be careful with your feelings and his, Y/N.” Harrison let go of my arm and he left.

Moments later I ended up in front of Tom’s office, my knuckle ready to knock on the door right when it opened, revealing Tom. He didn’t notice me at first, only realizing that there was a person there when he bumped into me.

“Y/N, you’re awake,” he said flatly. I nodded, “Indeed I am.” “What do you need?” He asked looking behind me rather than at me. It was beginning to irk me, but Harrison’s words were on my mind so I tried to let it go. “I don’t know exactly,” I answered, “I guess I just wanted to speak to you.”

“About what, exactly?” tone had taken an icy turn and my stomach dropped. It was irking me to the core. Whatever expression I had on my face fell and I wanted to hold up on my room, but I wasn’t in high school anymore, I’m fucking 23.

“I mean, we just had sex last night. That might be a topic of discussion,” I deadpanned. “I don’t think so, now if you’ll excuse me,” he tried to move past me and I stood in the way, crossing my arms. “You’re going to at least say something on the matter, Tom. I don’t want any misconstrued details lying about,” I argued, “Did last night mean something to you?”

“Y/N, I don’t have time for your games. Move out of the way or I’ll make you move,” Tom threatened and reluctantly, I did. It was better to let go than to hold on to something petty at the moment, but it didn’t mean that I wasn’t pissed off. Tom hustled away, but he shoved me out of the way, which sort of hurt my shoulder.

I didn’t see him for most of the day, which meant two things: he was busy (the realest option) or he was avoiding me (also a pretty real option). However, I chose to believe in the former, considering how the man ran organized crime for a living.

The sun was setting and the blue of the sky was dipped into a bucket of lilac and orange. I was out on the balcony, sipping lemonade and watching the sunset when Tom appeared out of nowhere and sat next to me. The two of us said nothing for a good twenty minutes. Soon enough, the sky was pitch black and that was when he spoke.

“Last night did mean something, Y/N,” he looked at me, “It meant so much more than you realize.” “You could be lying to my face and I wouldn’t even know,” I said softly, looking at the stars, “I want to know if I have to put a wall up.”

Tom clicked his tongue and shook his head, “Not at all. I probably should put some of mine down.” I chuckled, “I thought you resented vulnerability? Didn’t you say it was weak?” “I’m starting to learn that maybe vulnerability could be a sign of strength,” he smiled softly, but I brushed it off. “I don’t know, man,” I said, “Being emotionless is good for a mobster. Nothing hurts you.”

“You’re absolutely right. But, I want to be with you and I want you to feel like you could be with me. So if I have to be a little vulnerable, then so be it,” Tom watched the sky and it was my turn to look at him. His brown hair was falling perfectly above his eyes and his face was so concentrated it made it hard for me not to love it. If I said it once, I said it 600 times, the man was a god.

I stood up from my chair and I leaned in, kissing him on the forehead, bidding him goodnight. Entering my bedroom, I turned on the lights and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I heard the light flicker from behind me and I turned around, seeing that my room was dark.

My stomach dropped and slowly, I left the bathroom, praying to God it was a power outage, but I knew better. I knew that if it were a power outage, my bathroom light would have also been off. I’ll admit, I’m not the smartest human being. Instead of going to investigate, I should’ve locked myself up in the bathroom and call Tom or Harrison. I shouldn’t have left the sanctity of the bathroom to slowly walk around my dark bedroom. Maybe, I wouldn’t have had a piano string around my neck so tightly, I was beginning to bleed.

As I struggled for air, the Piano Man whispered in my ear, “Struggling only makes it worse, Y/N.” The voice sounded so familiar, but as I was losing consciousness, the thought drowned in my lake of my mind. I fell to my knees and closed my eyes, the last thing I could remember before hitting the floor was the Piano Man singing a song.

CHAPTER SEVEN

TAG LIST:

@financialinstability @magical-fairy-princess-stuff @wywholland @spider-stud

#fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #mob!haz #mob!au #mob!tom #spiderman #spiderman: far from home #spiderman: hoco #spiderman: homecoming #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland #harrison osterfield #marvel #mcu

[makeste]

KHR 061: Feelings All Up in My Daily Life Arc

If for some reason you ever ask me what my favorite Daily Life chapter is, and I tell you I don’t have one, you should know that I am straight up lying, because I do and it’s this:

This was requested by @gokudirt! This is also the last of the chapter requests, but seeing as it takes place right before the start of the Kokuyou arc, I’m thinking I might just continue the reviews chronologically from here. At least until I finally tire of doing this (which could be a good long while from now).

Anyway, let’s discuss Target 61, which started me on a path of being obsessed with Gokudera Hayato for the rest of my life.

Before we get to the actual chapter, I want to take a moment to appreciate that title page up there, because I think it’s the first time Amano successfully achieved what she was so obviously trying to do from the very start, which is to make Gokudera’s hair sexy. It’s not at peak sexiness yet, but it’s come so, so far from his intro nearly 60 chapters ago. I attribute this to him finally turning fourteen. We all know thirteen is a very awkward age.

Unfortunately the change is not quiiite permanent just yet, as we can observe on the very next page.

The thing is, I feel like she’s getting better at drawing him from side angles, but from directly front-on it’s a whole different story. His hair is still doing the thing where the back parts stick out awkwardly at extreme pointy angles, and also his bangs hang down way too straight and rigidly, like they’re one big sticking-together blob, instead of being all soft and ~wispy-looking~ the way they get to be later on.

I, a fully grown adult woman who apparently has nothing better to do than to analyze Gokudera’s hair and rant about it for multiple paragraphs, can actually tell you the exact moment when that transformation finally becomes permanent and perfect, and it’s right at the very start of the Future arc, immediately after TYL!Gokudera poofs back into normal Gokudera. It’s like Amano drew TYL!Gokudera’s hairstyle, and then suddenly everything just clicked about what the teenage version’s hair was always meant to be. It’s a beautiful thing. Haha, this chapter recap is going to be waaaay too long and very singularly focused, isn’t it.

Suddenly some thugs appear, because I guess they just wanted to get their asses kicked by the future Vongola Tenth’s right hand man!

Firstly, “as if there weren’t already this heat” is SUCH a July 2018 mood, so thank you, Gokudera.

Second, he’s really fucking violent here and I kind of adore it. He’s so often a glutton for punishment that it’s sort of nice on those rare occasions where he gets to kick ass himself. Especially here where it gets really physical with elbows and knees and the whole business! Usually this kind of brutality is Hibari’s domain.

Anyway, it turns out they were sent by Dino!

STILL SO HANDSOME. How come there were never any problems with his hair??

At any rate, Dino has some “good news” for Gokudera. (FYI those aren’t just any quotation marks--those are full blown sarcastic air quotes.) Now that he’s fourteen (ALL GROWN UP), the Ninth has apparently decided to promote him and put him in charge of a bunch of casinos. That makes so much sense! And he asked Dino to tell Gokudera because Dino is basically an honorary Vongola. That part actually does make sense. Does anyone really think of the Cavallone as a separate family? Pretty sure no one is raising their hand.

What great news! Oh but there’s just one small thing; the job is in Italy! Which, aside from probably not being Gokudera’s favorite place in the world for a multitude of other reasons, is also notably NOT where Tsuna is.

This is followed by one of my favorite Gokudera moments in the entire series.

Okay let’s press pause and engage rant mode.

So as we all know (I assume? Unless you’ve never actually read this chapter, in which case go do it! because it’s great and I love it!!), this whole thing is actually some kind of fucked-up loyalty test that the Ninth came up with, because for some reason he was suspicious of Gokudera and whether or not he’d actually stay devoted to Tsuna. So they figured they’d offer him a token power position, and see if he’d take them up on it, even if it meant abandoning his boss!

Here’s why that’s the most ludicrous fucking thing anyone has ever tried to do in this entire series.

SERIOUSLY? YOU NEEDED TO TEST GOKUDERA GODDAMN HAYATO’S GODDAMN LOYALTY TO THE GODDAMN TENTH? HAVE YOU EVER MET GOKUDERA?? PLEASE SPEND TWO FUCKING MINUTES WITH HIM AND THEN COME BACK AND APOLOGIZE TO ME ON YOUR KNEES FOR WASTING ALL OUR FUCKING TIME.

But okay, for some reason the Ninth has inexplicably become an outrageously bad judge of character. So fine, let’s test Gokudera’s loyalty. Except that

HE PASSES THE TEST ALMOST BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN GIVE HIM THE TEST TO BEGIN WITH.

Seriously. “Gokudera here’s a promotion for you but you’ll have to leave Tsuna and go to Ital—” “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THE ONE I FOLLOW IS THE TENTH NOT THE NINTH, IF IT’S GOING TO BE LIKE THIS THEN I’M NOT GONNA DO IT.” Dino, your response should be, “Well, shit, okay then,” and then you walk off and tell the Ninth what an asshole he was to even fucking try this.

But instead!!!

So Gokudera already passed the test, which is all about being loyal to Tsuna, but Dino tries to guilt him by insisting that staying is selfish, and leaving is actually the best way to serve Tsuna? What kind of damned-if-you-do bullshit is this? We’re trying to see how loyal you are, so we’ll tell you how to be loyal, but if you listen to us you will actually fail the test. What the fuck kind of fucking logic…

Anyway, lacking any other type of mentor figure (because Shamal is a fucking deadbeat), Gokudera goes to talk to Reborn about it.

WTF WHO’S THIS RANDO—

REBORN-SAN YOU APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE

Things I will never get tired of: this fucking gag.

So Gokudera explains his problems, but he frames them in such a way so as to make it seem like he’s worried that Tsuna won’t be able to get along without him, when of course it’s really the exact fucking opposite. Reborn is exactly as helpful as you would expect Reborn to be.

Having just savagely murdering Gokudera’s hopes and dreams, Reborn proceeds to set a challenge for him.

Hahaha. Okay, so. On the surface, this seems really fucking harsh, and kind of like Reborn is trolling the ever-loving shit out of Gokudera in this chapter just for giggles. However, I don’t think that’s what’s actually going on. But I’ll get to that in a bit.

So Gokudera accepts this challenge like the sweet delusional child he is, and goes to visit Tsuna.

Tsuna’s just so fucking thrilled to see him.

Gokudera’s wavelength: ~~~~~~

Tsuna’s wavelength:

                                            ~~~~~~

DO YOU GET IT THE WAVELENGTHS ARE DIFFERENT Critical lack of communication and understanding between these two kids who are trying to be best friends but neither of them has the slightest fucking clue how to do it. That’s all I’m saying.

This is something that’s better suited for an essay, so I’ll leave it alone for now, but it’s just interesting to note the contrasts in how they think of each other at this stage in their friendship.

They sit in Tsuna’s room and Tsuna drops moods for all to enjoy.

Pictured above: every thirteen-year-old since the beginning of time.

Gokudera has a stars-in-eyes moment of thinking Tsuna is about to ask him for help, buuuut

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SOMEONE WHO’S FULLY AWARE THAT HE’S FUCKING OVER HIS FUTURE SELF, AND DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN.

Tsuna continues his mood marathon by freaking out at the sudden appearance of a cockroach!

Gokudera gets ready to BLOW THAT SHIT UP (you don’t fuck around with roaches okay)

But Tsuna ignores this completely and calls his mom because of course he does. What else are moms even there for?

Next, Maman calls Tsuna for help moving the couch. You can see where this is going.

…Okay, I was trying to hold off on essaying about this until the end, but this in particular is the perfect example of what this chapter is trying to get at (and outright says later on). Tsuna and Gokudera occupy different positions in each other’s minds, and right now, these feelings don’t line up. Gokudera thinks of Tsuna as his boss—someone above him. But Tsuna does not think of Gokudera as his subordinate (someone below him). He thinks of him as his friend! An equal!

But unlike Gokudera, Tsuna is actually aware of this dissonance between them. After all, Gokudera makes no secret of the fact that he worships Tsuna. And because Tsuna doesn’t like it, he goes out of his way not to actually treat Gokudera like a subordinate. Therefore, he doesn’t ask Gokudera to do menial tasks for him like killing a bug or moving the couch. If they actually were more like normal friends, he probably wouldn’t hesitate! But since Gokudera constantly treats him like a boss as it is, the last thing Tsuna wants to do is actively encourage it and actually start bossing Gokudera around in any sort of way.

This is something Gokudera just doesn’t get, and I’m 100% sure is one of the main reasons why Reborn came up with this challenge for him to begin with. Because if these two are ever going to learn to understand each other better, Gokudera needs to realize this for himself.

Anyway.

Next up, Lambo haphazardly endangers someone’s life again because that is basically his sole function in the entire Daily Life arc. Long story short, he blows up a telephone pole, which proceeds to fall over, nearly killing Tsuna in the process. Fortunately, Gokudera is there to save the—

Well. He tried.

Anyway, once this is all over, and Gokudera apologizes, Tsuna finally asks him what’s wrong, because of course he was able to tell because he’s the best, TSUNA I LOVE YOU. So Gokudera tells him all about the promotion.

Tsuna acts fucking thrilled and over the moon for him and insists on throwing a party to congratulate him, and I’m sorry but I have to stop and rant AGAIN, because Amano packed so many feelings into this simple little chapter, and I don’t have any more room in my closet to put them!! So I’m just going to vomit them all over my blog s-sigh.

This.

is.

all.

fake.

Tsuna is not thrilled to hear that Gokudera is going back to Italy. He is not actually happy. But he pretends to be happy, for Gokudera’s sake. Whoa there, HOLD THE FUCK UP because LOOK AT THIS SUPER SNEAKY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT JUST DIVEBOMBED IN OUT OF NOWHERE.

So Tsuna has gone from being terrified of Gokudera, to genuinely thinking of him as a friend! To the point where not only is he upset to learn that he might be leaving, but he’s also conscious enough of Gokudera’s own feelings to pretend that he’s not upset and to try and support Gokudera as much as possible.

And maybe that doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but it is, because if you go back to some of the earlier chapters and look at their relationship, it’s so fucking different from this. The only emotion Tsuna ever seems to show around Gokudera in the early chapters is “stressed.” There is literally a chapter dedicated to making fun of the fact that all Gokudera ever does is stress Tsuna out and all Tsuna ever does is complain about it.

Fast-forward to here, where Tsuna has become completely accepting of Gokudera’s weird behavior and just rolls with it, because underneath that initially scary layer of “wacky, destructive, overly-devoted Gokudera” is a solid core of “Gokudera who is my friend.” They’ve known each other for a year and a half now, and Gokudera has always been there for Tsuna no matter what—even when that commitment only ends up causing more trouble—and Tsuna has finally come to appreciate it. And it’s about damn time too, because Gokudera Hayatos don’t just grow on trees! KEEP APPRECIATING HIM, TSUNA. You lucky bastard.

Sob so where was I oh my god. Okay so Gokudera gets a ton of warm fuzzies from this and decides that he really will go to Italy, for Tsuna’s sake. Because remember, Dino is a fucking liar.

So Gokudera runs off! BUT SUDDENLY he realizes he left his lighter at Tsuna’s house. How convenient! And at this very same moment, Reborn abruptly decides to initiate a conversation with Tsuna all about how much he really does appreciate Gokudera as a friend and doesn’t actually want him to leave. ALSO CONVENIENT.

Except I don’t think for one second this is a coincidence, and in fact, I fully believe that Reborn actually stole Gokudera’s lighter, waited for him to realize it and come back, and then purposely went and got Tsuna monologuing at exactly the right moment for Gokudera to “accidentally” overhear it. Yep.

Am I giving Reborn too much credit here? Maybe. But then again, maybe not, because it’s Reborn, and if you don’t think he’s playing the long game with Tsuna’s future right hand man just as much as he is with Tsuna himself, then you may just be underestimating him.

Anyway, so we then get a page or two of Tsuna blabbing about his complicated Gokudera feelings, but since I already essayed about them above, I will spare you the rehash.

Gokudera overhears it and has a Moment of Feels and decides he will stay in Japan because Tsuna wants him there, as his friend, and to Tsuna that’s more important than Gokudera serving him in Italy as just his subordinate.

If you don’t think that’s exactly what Reborn fucking planned, then clearly we are not reading this series with the same conspiracy goggles.

The next day, a wild Yamamoto appears (wow it’s so weird how you run into people at the airport don’t you think that’s weird), all set to go on a trip to Italy with Dino, because Gokudera told him that was a thing that was happening, so obviously Yamamoto believed him because WHY WOULD GOKUDERA EVER LIE.

This is adorable, and while you may think it was kind of dumb of Yamamoto to actually pack his bags and everything, you have to consider that it’s impossible for anyone to actually say no to that face. Which was probably his back-up plan, AND IT FUCKING WORKED, too.

Dino is happy that Gokudera didn’t come, and Reborn pops up and they have a very disturbing conversation about how there was a plot to murder this innocent child if he actually did fall for their fucked up bait-and-switch, and even though Dino says he would have secretly helped Gokudera escape if it came to that, I still kind of want to punch him in his handsome face, just a little bit.

But Reborn knew all along it wouldn’t happen.

Because he’s the master fucking manipulator raising the splendid tenth generation of the Vongola, and we’re all just here to watch him do his thing

Finally this chapter ends, on two note-perfect moments.

This may honestly be my favorite line in the series.

And words can’t express how much I love the fact that Dino, faced with the prospect of turning down Yamamoto’s innocently smiling face, decided it would be easier and less taxing on his soul to just actually fly him out to Italy for a nice vacation. I wonder how many times Takeshi has pulled this kind of bullshit with his dad. I wonder if anyone has ever turned him down for anything, if it comes to that. Dino, you done been played.

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #yay old chapter #long post #essay #character rant #gokudera hayato #sawada tsunayoshi #reborn #dino cavallone #yamamoto takeshi #don't you ever think #not for one fucking second #no matter how much I talk about how dino is handsome #or how many times I say that yamamoto is perfect #that it means gokudera hayato is not in fact my ultimate all-time favorite #because I will pretend to write a chapter recap and then make it actually a 3000 word essay all about how he is #thank you and good night