#✦ — • I HAVE LOVED YOU ALL ALONG • Heather and Peter •

[wherethedeadneversleep]

Secrets Unleashed

Eris welcomed the familiar, pleasant ache between her legs as she climbed out of bed and proceeded to dress herself.

“I have a surprise for you, Lord Hades,” she revealed, her voice sounding rather… happy. It was a lighthearted tone, similar to whenever she talked about her true love, Lucifer. While the thought of her beloved angel made her heart swell, it was unknown how long it would be until she’d see him again. For now, she would focus on the present matters at hand.

“Care to come with me to the Fields of Mourning when you are ready?” Eris proposed, now glancing over her shoulder at Hades with a roguish smile on her face.

~* ELSEWHERE *~

“You got suckered by Mother, didn’t you?”

Nosoi sneered at her sister’s taunt. She batted at her face, but her fingertips missed her by a hair. Lethe laughed as she bounced away, allowing herself to twirl around like a ballerina. All around them wandered the souls whose love was wasted away. Human spirits whose grief was too great to forget even with death were doomed to amble about these mystical fields for all eternity.

“I can’t believe she was put into another body,” Nosoi said as she sat on a fallen log, with sunken shoulders, and her face twisted as if she’d bitten into a lemon. “I didn’t know it was her until it was too late. Considering what happened, shouldn’t that have been a sign that Lucifer will never like her?”

Lethe hummed as she spun about a few more times before sitting next to her grumpy sister. “Believe me, I wish I could make her forget about that angel, but our powers are immune to our dear mother.”

Both women sensed the impending arrival of their sole parent, along with a much greater entity, and they instantly stood on their feet. Lethe winked at Nosoi and whispered, “Time for me to return to the River of Oblivion. Good luck!”

Nosoi scowled at Lethe’s cheerfulness as she teleported away. What a bitch. If she were in her shoes, she certainly would NOT be so happy.

Squaring her shoulders, Nosoi knelt to one knee and bowed her head - it wasn’t for her mother’s sake, but rather, for the ultimate ruler of the underworld.

Hades wasn't sure what exactly led up to this moment or how it even happened. The only woman he ever welcomed into his bed was his one and only. Needless to say, he spent many long nights alone because of it, at least until now.

" You have a surprise for me and you sound quite happy about it? " A curious brow lifted as he raised his head from the pillow of the bed, elbow against the mattress to prop himself up. His eyes watched her as she dressed. " Now you have me extremely curious. " He admitted.

As much as he would rather stay in bed something in the pit of his gut told him he should give follow. So without saying anything he grabbed the sheet covering his waist and tossed it to the side. Now sitting on the edge of the bed he grabbed his jeans and slipped them on. His button-up shirt was grabbed from the bed table and slipped over his shoulders but he did not attempt to button it up. " Now what exactly am I going to be seeing at the Fields of Mourning that I haven't seen a million times before? " He asked just as he walked up behind her with palms resting against her hips.

Eris welcomed not only the sound of Hades’ voice but his touch as well. She still couldn’t believe what took place between them, but she wasn’t going to complain at all. If what he did to her in bed could be a daily activity for them, then she wouldn’t mind spending more time with him.

But now onto more serious matters at hand. Eris instructed Nosoi to rise. Upon doing so, the younger woman gave a brief but startled pause, only because she saw her mother… with LORD HADES so close to her. Touching her… Oh, she wanted to throw up. Not because of Hades, but rather… her mother was a complete nutcase whose hyper-fixation on Lucifer would undoubtedly kill their entire family.

Eris’ eyes bore upon her, and she swiftly came back to her senses.

“Upon your request, Mother, I dug through some of my old tricks that I thought I lost during my imprisonment in Pandora’s box. While you were ‘busy’ with Master Hades, I did as you instructed.”

With a smarmy expression on her face, Eris asked, “And what would that be, my sweet Nosoi?”

Nosoi rolled her eyes, like a teenager getting a lecture from her parent, but replied, “To take out Gunner Logan.”

As the daimon of diseases, and sickness, Nosoi was nefarious for unleashing sweeps of plagues upon mankind during Ancient Greece, until she and many others of her kind were trapped inside Pandroa’s box. Talk about setbacks in her progress. It was only after the box was opened did Nosoi and everyone else gained their freedom, leaving behind Hope to fend for itself.

Knowing this pertained more to Hades than Eris, Nosoi spoke directly to the god of the underworld.

“I discovered that the Logan family has quite a long line that goes quite far back, eons, to where at one point, they were nearly wiped out due to a virus I unleashed right before my reign of fun ended. It affected shapeshifting beasts, and many of the Logans were killed off because of this masterpiece of mine. Less than ten percent survived the aftermath. It was a horrible, horrible way to die, as your organs shut down, muscles weaken, your bones shatter, you lose your senses - a nasty way to go, but that was the point of my creation.”

Nosoi snapped her fingers, and a swirling funnel of darkness surrounded her from the ground she stood upon, then swiftly shot straight up into the sky, vanishing to the Mortal Realm.

Eris clapped gleefully. “As much as I’d rather have the entire family wiped out, I understand you only have enough power to take out one of them. Who better than the one who stands in the way of our Master Hades’ beloved, hmm?”

The sun had just set as Gunner rounded the bend on the road with his motorcycle. It was the scenic route back home, but he enjoyed it, as it was one of the few times he felt at peace.

An icy chill ran down his spine, followed by darkness.

“What the fuck?!” he snarled as he attempted to veer to the side of the road and pull over. He traveled this way countless times since moving to Santa Carla so that he could find his way blindfolded. Yet he could no longer feel any of his limbs, and an electrifying headache exploded in his skull.

He let out a gut-wrenching howl as he smashed into the guard rail. His body flew off his bike, and he went over and down the hillside, all the while his insides were shutting down. Every kind of pain he experienced in his life was smashing him without mercy. Bright lights flashed in his mind’s eye, while blood trickled out of his nose, ears, and mouth. He couldn’t even suck in the air, as his blood filled his throat.

It all happened too fast, so fast that he could barely string any coherent sentences. Even as his shattered body continued to roll down the forested hillside, and the plants and roots enveloped him, he managed to think about his family: his girls, his son, the grandchildren, and of course his wife.

Goddammit, this… whatever this was… it was not how he wanted to die! What a fucked way to be taken out…

‘Sonya,’ he thought, as his consciousness slipped away. ‘I don’t wanna go like this… not without seeing ya one last time…’

Anyone who would dare to say that his plans and moves weren't carefully thought out and planned this time around would be lying through their teeth. Hades had an array of helpers this time and while they were out and about stirring up trouble, left and right .. no one was any wiser to the fact that he was the man standing behind it all. All those years wasting away inside a coffin box with a dagger bore inside his chest only made him wiser and more strategic.

His hand shifted away from Eris' waist as he moved closer to Nosoi ─ one of Eris' many children. From the moment she made mention of taking out Gunner, she had his full undivided attention. Plagues swept across the earth for eons, be it biblical, manmade, or crafted weapons such as Nosoi's. To hear that her time spent in Pandora's box hadn't completely stripped her of her talents was pleasing to hear.

" The only true shame in that is those small ten percent survived. I would have saved us less trouble here in the now. " Hades remarked, but with every word, she spoke his eye darkened with delight. There was nothing more he would like to do than watch the Mutt suffer in unimaginable ways. The main reason why he kept that dagger worn so close to him. A reminder of what is soon to come for Gunner Logan.

His eyes peered back to Eris as she cheered then they were back on Nosoi. " You will not go unrewarded for your troubles, child. " The god of the underworld reached out to clasp her chin between his fingers. " Should this little treat of yours play out in our favor then I will personally see to it you get your just rewards. " Now pulling himself back away from Nosoi he asked while preparing a visual for them to all witness.  " How long before it finds its target? "

The last few days Sonya had spent working on Heather's wedding dress. While it was almost perfect on its own it still needed a few finishing touches to make it an unforgettable one-of-a-kind dress. Much like herself, Heather deserved the best and she would make sure the girl didn't settle for less than just that.

As she pulled the needle and string through the elegant fabric her hands became rather numb, so much so that the needle and tread slipped from her grasp and dangled from the dress. Only moments later did her vision go astray when it suddenly felt as if someone had clubbed her in the back of her skull.

Her body crashed to the ground as if her legs had been taken out from under her. Pain seared through both of them and that was when the deadest of chills soared straight down her spine. Nails dug at the floor as she fought to steady herself. It had felt as if someone had just reached in and torn her heart her very chest. Something happened, something was wrong with Gunner. She fought with everything she had within her to block out the pain long enough to focus on his whereabouts.

At this point, tears were streaming down her face. Eyeliner streaking her pale complexion. Her husband was not going to die, she wouldn't allow it.  " Peter ... " She called out to the closest to her. " Come find me, Urgent .." She instructed just as she was able to locate Gunner and teleport to his side.

" No no. This can't be happening! " She cried out with her hands on both sides of Gunner's face. Why wasn't he healing from his wounds? Her own body was now being wrecked with not only the pain she was experiencing from Gunner but also grief and horror. " You can't leave me like this. " She wept and sobbed against his chest. She couldn't even link with him, nothing but silence was coming from him. " PETER !!!! " She cried out once again. " PLEASE !!! "

Nosoi rocked back on her heels as the visual of Gunner's broken and bloodied body lay on the bottom of the forest floor, high above the highway, where nobody would have a chance to see him.

"The virus had already opened up in his system and is just about finished," she stated proudly. "I apologize you weren't able to see the initial attack, Master. However, the quicker the wolf is finished off, the better it will be for you to reclaim what is rightful yours."

This virus was swift and merciless. With Gunner's advanced age, his healing factor wouldn't work fast enough to heal the damage. There was no going back. Only those who lived during the height of the virus had a slim chance of surviving.

When Eris saw a weak and defeated Sonya appear before them, she chuckled quietly. Ohhh dear, she'd forgotten the whole "bonded thing" between vampire and wolf. Seeing how awful Gunner looked, Sonya had to be an absolute wreck on the inside. Good! She deserved it for choosing a dog over Hades.

Setting his empty bourbon glass on the counter, Peter frowned as he heard a disturbance in the next room. He knew his daughter was in there, working on Heather's dress, and was warned not to sneak a peak before the wedding. He was compelled to follow tradition, but it was only when he heard Sonya call out to him so urgently did he react. Something was wrong. Typically capable of handling herself against just about anyone, she wouldn't call upon him unless it was absolutely urgent and troublesome.

Upon entering the next room, he saw the unfinished wedding dress on the floor, and Sonya was no longer in sight. Scratch marks were visible, along with tear stains near the dress.

That was when he heard her again, only this time, it resounded in his mind like a ghost haunting the halls of his memories. As her sire, he was connected to her, so he knew where to find her when she cried out for him desperately.

In the blink of an eye, Peter was outside, at the bottom of a road embankment not too far from the estate. It was thick with plants and shrubs, but it was also the sight of a broken, mangled motorcycle, and the lifeless body of Gunner, with Sonya hovering over him, sobbing. The alpha vampire was confused. This was an accident Gunner should have walked away from with some scratches and bruising at the most. His healing factor would eventually bring him back to full strength - yet he was so still, and no matter how much Sonya pleaded with him, he wasn't moving.

Seeing his daughter so heartbroken tugged on Peter's soul. She was a brave and fearless woman who didn't care for men, due to her horrid history with a particular ex. Gunner had been the first man to mend her emotional wounds and showed her how to love once more, no matter how checked her past was. And while Peter would be hellbent on admitting so, he was grateful for Gunner Logan's presence in her life... but now, it looked like something else decided to take her away from him.

No, Peter would not permit this.

'Heather, I apologize, but brace yourself,' he warned his fiancée telepathically as he knelt next to Sonya, bit into the pad of his thumb until he drew blood, then placed a hand upon her shoulder. Using his nails, he punctured her flesh until he drew blood from her, where his blood mingled with hers.

A sheer force of pain instantly swept up his arm and flowed throughout his body like liquid fire. Holding back a scream of pain, he forced himself to concentrate, and that was when he found the answer to his earlier question. Sonya, being bonded to Gunner, reacted to this very situation. But it was clear this wasn't anything ordinary. From what he could sense through Sonya, this attack on Gunner had ties to the past, one that offered a grim outcome. The likes of himself and Sonya would survive, due to their biological makeup as vampires. But for creatures like Gunner, there was no future. This THING inside Gunner was too strong, and his body clearly couldn't win.

Gritting his teeth, he mentally spoke to Sonya while preparing himself for more onslaught of pain.

'I'm taking some of this agony from you, so you can focus and save your husband! You must make him physically young again if he can recover from this attack... He can't remain like this, but if he's young enough, his body can fight this infection and heal!'

Eris watched the manic chaos that surrounded Sonya, as she desperately tried everything she could to coax Gunner to stay conscious and plead with her vampire father, Peter, to aid her. It was simply pathetic, and it made her smile with pure joy. Using her bond to keep her lover alive was killing her, and the goddess of discord enjoyed knowing this. This was fantastic to watch!

Nosoi frowned as two new individuals appeared alongside the dying werewolf in the image they were using to watch everything that transpired.

"Who are they?" the malevolent daemon questioned with a raised brow.

"Unwanted guests!" Eris seethed.

Valeria had to lean against Drake momentarily as soon as they arrived at their new destination, to catch her balance. Unlike the first time, when she arrived in a spacious bedroom lost in lust, she was now outside in the cold and surrounded by thorns, mud, and roots. Not to mention, there was a woman frantically beside herself, a young blond couple, and a bloodied victim on the ground - yes, the one who needed help.

Without hesitation, the ancient witch held out her palm toward Gunner and closed her eyes. Reading his fractured thoughts, she winced as she was roughly lashed with the ferocious pain he was experiencing and it nearly snapped her head back. By the gods, it was a nightmare. He was being assaulted by a fierce monster from within that was beyond comprehension. He needed to be moved away from here as soon as possible, someplace safe. First, she would do her best to ease the pain.

"I'm shutting down your nervous system telepathically," she explained to the gravely wounded werewolf with a grimace. At least, he wouldn't feel any more pain, but already, she was sweating bullets. This virus was relentless. They had to move fast. She was going to be working non-stop mentally until this situation was resolved. "As soon as we can relocate you, the sooner we can figure out a way to help you."

Seeing Gunner Logan in so much pain brought pure pleasure to Hades. There was nothing he wanted more than to see that mutt suffer even half as severely as he had while having that dagger implanted in his chest. Sonya's pain on the other hand wasn't as enjoyable. However, he would rather have her dead than with someone so unworthy of her. If she died, there would be no purgatory for her. He would ensure she traveled directly to him. So be it if that was the only way.

" Nosoi ..." Hades' eyes darkened as he looked at her. " Can they cure him? " Should she give him the wrong answer he would hold her personally accountable for this for allowing him to get his hopes up and for creating a potential situation that Drake could track back to him after he had managed to keep his nose clean for this long.

Heather was in her room attending to her and Peter's affairs ─ only to have Peter rush inside and grab her by the arm before she could even question. Moments later she found herself outside along the sloping hillside that led to the estate. Gunner was badly injured, but it didn't appear as if his healing abilities were working. Sonya was in a state of her own. Heather rushed to the other side of Sonya and knelt beside Gunner. She was welcomed by Sonya and Gunner from the get-go, and Sonya went above and beyond to make her feel at home. It literally shattered her undead heart to see either of them in this state.

She turned with a nod of her head as Peter warned her to brace herself for the impact he was about to unleash on her. There was no doubt in her mind that what was coming next would not be pleasant. She would endure whatever pain she had to endure if it meant helping her family. The pain spread like a chain-link fence from Gunner to Sonya to Peter and finally hit her like a ton of bricks. She stumbled back until she was seated on the grassy hillside. Tears spilled over her eyes and her mouth parted as she tried to fight through the pain. Never once did she cry out because all their attention had to be on Gunner.

Drake nearly stumbled back when Valarie took into her the pain coursing through Gunner's body. It had been a very long time since Drake a felt such a power or connection. It only proved that they had to work quickly. The sooner they could figure out what was wrong with him the quicker they could figure out who was behind this. This meant that he could end someone's life as quickly as possible.

Between Peter, Heater, and the newcomer with her father taking some of the pain from herself and Gunner, it allowed her a moment to focus on what Peter told her just moments ago ─ to make Gunner young again. She had only tempted a feat like that once before and it was on Peter. However, it cost Peter's memories. Perhaps there was something she could change within the spell to prevent that from happening to Gunner. The only thing she could imagine worse than Gunner's death was to have him alive and yet not remember her or their son. That would be a fate worse than death for her.

Pushing herself up from the ground with her palms she studied Gunner's face as she spoke to the others. " I think I know what needs to be done. We need to get him back to the estate. " Her eyes now turned to her father's and the newcomer.

" Say no more. " Drake yelled as she moved into action, ensuring everyone was touching each other. It would take a lot out of him to teleport the entire group but it had to be done. They couldn't risk anyone breaking their connection with Gunner when Sonya was now clear-headed enough to speak and move. Once he was sure everyone was joined together his eyes closed and with everything he had within him, he reformed the group in the sitting hall of the estate. Once everyone was firmly and safely placed he stumbled over to grab the nearest chair. He needed a moment to recover.

Nosoi swallowed hard upon Hades' question. There was no single DOUBT in her mind that she had complete control over her abilities. The only hero who ever came close to standing up to her was King Oedipus. Surely these pitiful, foul creatures wouldn't come even close!

"Not in this lifetime," she snarled, as she boldly stood in front of the mirror. Even as the scenery changed to that of an interior setting, her wicked powers activated once more.

Pride swelled within Eris as she watched her daughter at work. Her sons and daughters were all sinister and cruel like her. No matter what, they represented her to the very core: the embodiment of strife and discord. Unless the poor fool was able to travel back in time and challenge her magic from when it was possible to fairly match her head on, Gunner Logan would be no more!

Nosoi's eyes turned pure black, as the tips of her fingers produced flames of darkness.

"All ye weary in body and burdened with disease," she chanted in a disembodied voice, "whose hearts are faint within you - suffer! Thou quaking terror of disease, waste, pestilence, and despair!"

The flames exploded from Nosoi and fanned into the mirror itself, where it would travel to its final destination…

As much as Valeria wanted to be at Drake's side, she knew it was important to help the dying werewolf. She couldn't break her concentration on him. He was an important part of this family. While continuing to keep Gunner's nervous system shut down, she used her telekinesis to keep him afloat, but stretched out, while close to Sonya. Meanwhile, Peter kept Heather close, and placed a chaste kiss upon her temple, before glancing over at Drake.

"What Sonya will do for Gunner once helped me years ago," he informed his sire. "It won't be without consequence, but it has to be done right now."

As far as his personal history with werewolves, Peter had never seen any of them brutalized like Gunner. Whatever or whoever was behind this attack must have had one wicked grudge against him. While he could think of a few names, none of them had this particular STYLE of torture…

Valeria's eyes widened as she sensed an onslaught of dark magic heading their way. It came out of nowhere, and it sent shivers down her very spine.

"Sonya…!" she whispered fearfully. She didn't want to rush her, but whatever this magic assault was, it wasn't going to slow down. At the speed it was going, it was like a meteor ready to slam into the earth.

While Hades greatly enjoyed watching Gunner Logan suffer he would rather him just die rather than give that family a chance to reverse what had been done. After all the long months he spent buried alive with that dagger in his chest - for all the pain he endured during that time he deserved nothing short of all the misery and pain inflicted upon him.

His eyes narrowed as his fists balled at his sides. For Nosoi's sake, he hoped the words she spoke were true. While he would not directly kill one of Eris' children due to their partnership that did not mean he would not stick Nosoi in a hell that would make Pandora's Box look like a dream. Eris knew this before enlisting her daughter's help.

Hades would not let his cover be blown over someone else's foolish mistakes.

As she began to chant Hades walked up behind her and placed his hand upon her shoulder. His grip was a little tighter than needed. This was his way of letting her know he would not take failure lightly.

Nosoi should have reminded herself that she was no longer standing against those who stood in her own time. Many things changed while she was locked away. It would have been easy for him to see it done years ago if it had been such an easy feat.

" Disappointment is not something I handle well. " He would lightly comment close to her ear as he watched the sheer panic strike from their next hit.

Heather was relieved when Peter's pain was removed and she no longer felt the pain that the others were experiencing. Her grief and sadness remained, however. It seemed like their family couldn't catch a break. There was always someone lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike them down. Now more than ever she was determined to up her training so that she could help when things like that happened to their family. She knew how Sonya must be feeling right now. She felt the same way when DJ X and that damn Rachel shot that bomb into his chest. The idea of losing the very person that gives you life and meaning - there could be no fate worse than that.

" Whatever needs to be done should be done. We'll deal with whatever consequences when they happen. " Drake instructed and nodded at Peter. Even though his strength from the teleportation was slowly returning and he could now stand without something holding him upright he still felt helpless. While he was one of the strongest creatures on earth he did not possess the skills of magic the way his daughter did. A trait she picked up from her mother and dare he say Hades himself.

" Anything you need just name it. "

" Keep him alive at all costs! " Sonya instructed everyone as she vanished from the room they all resided in. She quickly rematerialized in her magic room at the top of the estate. She nearly tore the room apart looking for a vial of water but not just any vial. The contents inside contained two very special waters. One was from the fountain of youth which they all stumbled across when they all traveled to awaken Drake from his slumber. The other water inside was from the Underworld river of Lethe. It was that water that would prove to be their biggest problem since it was the river of forgetfulness.

Soon enough Sonya returned to her husband's side and from the looks of everyone it wasn't a moment too soon. She held the vial high in the air with one hand and kissed Gunner's forehead. The moment she touched him she was wrecked with pain again but this time she fought through it with Valeria's aid. Her free hand was placed upon his chest as she chanted.

" " de manu Dei! de manu hominis. A sanguine cordis mei in aeternum tabescet! Aufer maledictionem tuam ab hoc homine! Remove Letheum ab hac ampulla! " "

Her eyes turned fire red as black magic bore through her body. She found enough strength inside her to place the vial on Gunner's lips and forced him to drink its contents. As the last drop spilled from the vial and into his mouth a flash of dark smoke exploded in the room. This sent Sonya sailing across the room and crashing into the nearest wall.

Gunner couldn't remember the last time he was surrounded by pure silence. It was surreal, to the point where he couldn't take it. Something was wrong. He had to open his eyes.

An enormous wolf with sleek, dark fur and red eyes greeted him in a dark forest. Mist wafted around the creature, but Gunner immediately knew who this beast was, because they were one and the same.

"What's going on?" he asked his inner beast. "What the fuck happened back there?"

He took a step forward, only to tumble to the forest floor. Wet grass cushioned his naked form. The air was so cold it bit his skin.

'You nearly died,' the large wolf stated as he approached his other half in human form. 'Our family was nearly wiped out centuries ago by this disease that once flowed in your body. Just know that when you wake up, your world will not exactly be the same. It's been a while since we've had this moment together, you and I. You've been in control of yourself for so long, I would've thought you'd forgotten what I looked like.'

Gunner blinked slowly. He truly couldn't remember the last time he spoke to his inner wolf, but… now was not the time for such sentiments. He struggled to push himself up to a sitting position using his elbows. Groggy couldn't even begin to describe how he felt. He wanted to go back to sleep and rest, but he knew he couldn't. Something… someone wanted him to wake up.

'Your mate,' the inner beast reminded him. 'She won't let you die, just like you won't let her go.'

Gunner furrowed his brows as he finally managed to sit upright. "She?" he queried.

Blazing red hair, followed by piercing eyes, and full red lips flashed in his mind's eyes.

"Sonya," he whispered. That was all he could remember.

The wolf before him vanished in a haze of darkness, and the forest disappeared with him.

Gunner let out a gasp as he sat up, panting heavily. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and sweat dripped down the sides of his temple. Reaching up, he touched his lower lip to find a drop of liquid lingering - not blood, and not his.

"Looks like you've done it," Peter stated to Sonya, as he helped his daughter to her feet. Her body had made a nasty impact on the wall, leaving a spider web of cracks that reached halfway up the ceiling. Even through the darkness, Peter didn't hesitate to make haste and recover her. Once the darkness and smoke cleared, it was easier to inspect the near the disaster that could have taken place, had Sonya not acted as swiftly as she did.

Valeria, who was closest to Gunner, wore a concerned expression on her face. Taking a step back, she used her telekinesis to help Gunner to his feet.

"Who're you?" Gunner asked briskly before he saw Sonya across the room. "What happened?"

Unaware of any changes to his body, or any memory of what happened to have gotten him in such a position, he hurried over to his wife.

Nosoi was motionless as the plague she'd unleashed upon Gunner disappeared, thanks to the efforts of his wife, Sonya. She was completely dumbfounded. How could anyone, let alone in this century, upstage her magic? Impossible! And worse, Gunner had been changed into a young man, therefore, the plague would not work on him. It was made ready to destroy his aging, older body - not a young one fit to fight off her ailments!

The daimon swallowed hard, as her confidence completely vanished. The reality of her failure in front of Hades hit her like a rock to her skull.

"Mother…" Nosoi whispered, hoping beyond hope, that her own creator would be able to plead with the god of the underworld to go easy on her punishment.

Instead, Eris turned her nose upon her daughter and turned her back to her.

"How could you do this to me!" the goddess exclaimed. Any concern for her own was vacant, only to be replaced by sheer irritation. "You are an absolute disappointment. I don't care what Master Hades does to you, but how dare you humiliate me like this!"

Reflecting on their shared experiences, Drake recalled the countless times Sonya had effortlessly conjured spells that left him in awe. Her control over elemental forces was unparalleled, and her mastery of intricate enchantments surpassed even seasoned practitioners. It was as if she had inherited an innate understanding of magic, flowing through her veins like a powerful current.

Drake realized that his oversight stemmed from his own preconceived notions about magical aptitude. He had assumed that Sonya's progress would be gradual, like any other aspiring mage. But now he understood that her heritage played a significant role in accelerating her growth. He should have seen it the moment Sonya was able to resurrect her mother from the dead. The implications of such a miraculous feat were staggering, yet he had dismissed it as a mere coincidence or an elaborate illusion. Little did he know that this event would unravel a series of extraordinary events that would challenge everything he thought he knew about life and death. What she had just managed to do with Gunner was even beyond his understanding. But as the darkness dissipated from the room and the current threat was over for now he shifted across the room to Valeria's side since Peter was attending to Sonya.

" Her name is Valeria. "

Sonya had always been drawn to the mysterious and enigmatic realm of dark magic. From a young age, she had delved into ancient texts, studying forbidden spells and rituals that most would shy away from. She had witnessed the power it held, the raw energy that surged through her veins whenever she tapped into its depths. But this blast was different. It was as if an abyss had opened up before her, unleashing a torrent of malevolence that threatened to consume everything in its path. The sheer magnitude of darkness pulsating within it sent shivers down her spine, causing her heart to race with both fear and exhilaration. As the dust settled and the echoes of the blast faded away, Sonya found herself standing amidst the aftermath. The air was thick with an eerie silence, broken only by Peter's voice.

" I'll be alright. " As she stood up, she could feel the weight of exhaustion pulling her down. The aftermath of the blast had left her trembling, her muscles weak and unsteady. Every step felt like a monumental effort as if she were wading through thick mud. She closed her eyes, trying to steady her racing heartbeat and calm the swirling chaos within her mind. The residual energy from the spell still crackled around her, leaving an electric buzz in the air. She couldn't bring herself to look in Gunner's direction in fear that his memories had evaded him. It had been enough for her to just hear Peter's confirmation that the spell had worked.

" You were dying and we did what we had to to save your life. "

As the echoes of Hades' roar reverberated through the dark caverns of the underworld, his frustration grew into a seething anger. He had entrusted Nosoi with a crucial task and she had failed him miserably. But time and time again, their plans had crumbled like sand slipping through his fingers, he knew his trust should not spread past Eris and Darius. They were the only two who managed to get the job done without costly mistakes like this one.

It was probably a good thing that Eris had no regard for the punishment he was about to unleash upon her daughter for her failure. His wrath would be fierce and merciless. Hades snapped his fingers and within an instant, Nosoi was locked in the spot she was standing in. Hades, the formidable ruler of the underworld, gazed at Nosoi with a cold, calculating stare. He knew that even though she was trapped in her current position, her cunning and resourcefulness could still pose a threat to his dominion. Hades had learned long ago that underestimating his adversaries could lead to disastrous consequences.

" I warned you what failure would bring. You not only failed in your task but you also opened a window to our discovery. Your punishment for this will be far worse than what any death could bring you. "

With a wave of Hades hand, Pandora's box appeared at Nosoi's feet. Pandora's box - a vessel said to contain unimaginable evils that could bring chaos and destruction upon the world and the souls trapped within it.

" Back to prison you will go, and into the box you hate. You will stay in it until you love it! And die in it. "

Gunner could only stare in bewilderment at his wife. Dying? Him? He couldn’t believe it. He felt like a million bucks! Yet as he searched within himself, and reached within the bond they shared, he discovered the powerful impact that nearly took his life, and threatened to cripple hers in the process. It left him speechless, as he stared at the palms of his hands. They looked just as rough and calloused, tell-tales of the rough life he’d always led. Then something from within advised him to look in the nearest reflection possible.

“Hang on,” Gunner uttered as he slipped away, and hurried over to what remained of Sonya’s altar. Despite the mess, he found a broken piece of glass. On bended knee, he leaned over and saw a face he hadn’t seen in many, many decades. It was one without any hard lines or creases or hints of battle scars. Even the mustache and beard he’d grown and groomed were thinned out considerably.

“Fucking hell,” Gunner whispered in awe. “I’m… young again...!”

Valeria used the tips of her fingers to touch her temples, where she closed her eyes, and focused. She briefly scanned the werewolf’s mind, before smiling with relief.

“You did wonders, Miss Sonya,” she complimented her fellow witch. “I sense no trace of the virus anywhere in his body. By altering him to a younger state, it was incapable of attacking him. As such, he was able to fight it off successfully.”

Peter carefully nodded, as he went back to Heather, to make sure she was all right with everything that happened. As such, Gunner returned to Sonya, where he carefully gripped her by the shoulders, and peered into her eyes. There weren’t enough words to express how much she meant to him, to sacrifice what she had to save his life. He’d obviously do the same for her and then some.

He pulled her against him and hugged her tight.

“Couldn’t live without you, baby,” he muttered into her flaming red hair, as he gripped her in his embrace. After which, he pulled back, to stare in awe at her. “My biggest regret would've never been able to see you again.”

Peter cleared his throat loud enough that it drew the couple's attention.

"What's wrong?" Gunner asked as he continued to hold Sonya. "Are we under attack again?"

Valeria glanced over at her lover, Drake, before revealing a peculiar expression on her face. It drew a shade of pink across her cheeks. She was rendered speechless, and simply couldn't say anything, so she kept quiet.

Peter rolled his eyes and maintained his stuffy attitude, per usual, even as he clasped his hands with Heather's.

"Really, Sonya, he admonished. "I expected better from you." Without missing a beat, he went on to say, "Out of all of them, you picked that ratty haired one as a lover?"

Gunner clenched his teeth. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out what Peter referred to.

Sonya's secret was no longer theirs to keep between them.

Eris chewed on the tip of her nail as she ignored the frantic, traumatizing screams of her own flesh and blood. Blast it all, another failure. Even her biggest accomplishments in all history would be marred by downfalls that would be held above her head.

“… Explains the survivors of their kin,” she whispered to herself. “The only survivors must have been the children. With the adults dead, the young ones were forced to survive on their own - which they did, against all odds.”

In the distance, away from the two gods, the aimless ghosts meandered about the fields. A few paused to witness the punishment of Eris’ daughter. Not even she was spared from Hades’ wrath.

One individual, in particular, found herself staring longingly at Hades. Why was he in the company of such a shrieking banshee like Eris? He deserved better…

Her stomach growled. Hands placed themselves upon her stomach. She grimaced and glanced about. She hoped nobody heard that. Hunger shouldn’t exist in the underworld, yet here she was, absolutely starving!

Deciding not to linger too long, and not wanting to share the fate that Eris’ daughter did, the female wanderer drifted off in search of food.

'Good luck to Lord Hades with his company,' Persephone thought to herself.

Her husband still remembered who she was. As soon as Gunner tapped into her, Sonya sensed that indescribable connection that seemed more powerful than ever before. It was as if they were two souls intertwined, understanding each other on a level that went beyond words. It almost brought tears to her eyes, realizing that her greatest fear had not materialized. However, she refrained from letting those tears surface as she kept her vulnerable side hidden from almost everyone, including her own family. 

She didn't look at him until he spoke and walked away. As she caught a glimpse of his back, she noticed a significant transformation in his appearance. His once salt and pepper hair was now gleaming and jet black. Although she wanted to move to the side for a better view, she stayed still to allow him to witness the change himself.

When Valeria spoke, her gaze swiftly shifted towards the witch who had accompanied her father. Sonya couldn't take all the credit for this. This had been a team effort. Without everyone that had shown up and played their part, no matter how big or small this would have turned out much differently than it had. 

" Please don't congratulate me. This was a team effort that couldn't have been done without all of you. "

However, all of that was quickly erased from her mind as Gunner reappeared before her again. As his hands firmly held her shoulders, her own hands instinctively reached for his face, gently tracing his unblemished skin with her fingertips. He remained one of the two most attractive beings she had ever laid her eyes upon. Only seconds later did both her arms wrap around him, holding to him as if it were to be the last time. 

She doesn't know what she would have done had she lost him. The intensity of that agony, she wouldn't have been able to endure it again. As she clung to him, her heart pounded in her chest, the fear of losing him still fresh in her mind. She realized at that moment just how much he meant to her, how his presence brought her comfort and stability. The thought of facing the world without him seemed unbearable, and she vowed to cherish every moment they had together, never taking what they shared for granted.

Eyes turn to Peter with a confused look when he clears his throat. 

Drake's eyes blew wide as he stared at his daughter. A part of him couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Then again a part of him had always had suspicions on the matter. On the other hand, a fragment of him had perpetually harbored thoughts regarding the issue. He never anticipated that HE was the individual she had entangled herself with. As he raised his hand to caress his forehead, his other hand firmly grasped Valeria's waist. Speaking about the situation would have no impact. Evidently, it was not a secret she was concealing from her husband, and as long as he approved of the situation, who was he to condemn her actions? He knew better than anyone that love was love, it came in the most unlikely places and it wasn't something you could just shut off and walk away from. But leave it to Peter to be the first one to break the awkward silence lingering in the room.

Heather's jaw falls open in astonishment, yet she finds herself unable to speak, not even when Peter breaks the silence. It never crossed her mind, not even in her wildest dreams, that those two would have been a thing. Nevertheless, she musters the strength to gently squeeze Peter's hand, hoping to encourage him to be gentle with Sonya.

" Silence, Eris! " Hades paces back and forth, issuing the order while the screams of Nosoi fail to calm the boiling rage within him. He is in a state of disarray and he acknowledges it, such an intense fury he hasn't experienced in many years. Among all the actions Sonya has taken, he cannot fathom the extent of her betrayal towards him. It astonishes him that she had managed to conceal this secret from him for all these years, until this moment.

Now, it all clicked in his mind. Reflecting on it, he finally comprehended the reasons behind those instances when she disappeared from his radar. The unaccounted time she spent on earth. His fists tightened at his sides, driven by the desire to inflict harm and pain onto something, to make it suffer.

His gaze falls upon Eris knowing that it was her idea to involve her daughter in this. Not only was this Nosoi's failure but this was on her as well. Gunner had been a problem in the past, but all they had accomplished now was transforming him into an even more significant obstacle. Gunner was currently at the peak of his abilities. What in the hell were they thinking? His stare at Eris is intense and unwavering.

He just just about to strike like a venomous viper when he suddenly felt the presence of someone familiar. Surprisingly, this person had a calming effect on him and eased the intense anger he felt. He hoped that when Darius returned he would bring something more impressive than the disappointing spectacle that had just occurred.

" Eris, leave my sight and this is not a request. "

#✦ — • VERSE • Where the Dead Never Sleep • #✦ — • I BREATHE YOU IN AGAIN JUST TO FEEL YOU UNDERNEATH MY SKIN • Sonya and Gunner • #✦ — • I HAVE LOVED YOU ALL ALONG • Heather and Peter • #✦ — • I SEEM TO BE STRUCK BY YOU • Hades and Eris • #✦ — • YOU’RE MY END AND MY BEGINNING • Drake and Valerie • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Sonya • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Gunner • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Peter • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Drake • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Heather • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Valeria • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Eris • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Persephone • #✦ — • CHARACTER • Lethe •

[doll3tt33]

╰➜ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ┆ temp v gulp gulp┆⊹ ࣪ ˖

she/her 𝜗𝜚 libra ☉ libra ☾ sag ↑ 𝜗𝜚 multifandom (AHS, The Boys) 𝜗𝜚 my current diet: c.ai and colin zabel, with a side of homelander 𝜗𝜚 not in a cannibalistic typa way *wink wink*

my most recent fic/hc! - my haunted lungs, ghost in the sheets ❥ colin zabel

everybody knows I’m a good girl, officer ❥ colin zabel

‘cause when you know you know ❥ colin zabel

my most recent c.ai bot! - playing dangerous ❥ colin zabel

a day in the life of a cleaner for homelander ❥ homelander

check your window, he’s at your window ❥ tate langdon

Requests are open! ♡

Please make sure to read the rules here before requesting!!! ((for bots. picky for fics but might consider

a lil’ info:

• If you’re under 18, then it means this place isn’t for you and YA BETTER GET OFF MA PROPERTY!! On a fr note, please do not interact if you’re a minor.

• characters I’m sorta confident I won’t mess up with (aka characters you can request for): Kai Anderson, Tate Langdon, Austin Sommers, Kyle Spencer, Kit Walker, Colin Zabel, Peter Maximoff, Stan Bowes, Luke Cooper, Charles Decker, + characters from The Boys

• characters I’m not so confident with right now: James Patrick March, Jimmy Darling, Warren Lipka, Mr. Gallant.

I’ll need a rewatch to get a better grasp of their character so they won’t be ooc, but I’ll make them available to request in the future!

• general requests are cool! but I really appreciate requests with a specific scenario/AU. This is a kink-friendly blog, so feel free to go wild!

Bots & fics masterlist below the cut!

all of the bots below have detailed defintions and descriptions, along with example messages! So dw, none of them are empty carcasses of an ai bot

angst/dark themes - ✮ sfw - ❀ (might lead to) nsfw - ✧

c.ai filter breaking tut: pt.1, pt.2

Kai Anderson:

𝜗𝜚 Fanfics:

Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in. ✮

𝜗𝜚 Headcanons:

Kai Anderson SFW headcanons ❀

𝜗𝜚 AI bots:

Being in a toxic relationship with Kai (based off the song ‘Ultraviolence’) ✮

Kai breaking into your home for revenge ✮/✧

Visiting spiritual counselor!Kai to seek guidance ✮/❀

Kai coming up to you at a bookstore ❀

Kai “accidentally” spilling his coffee all over you ❀

⇢ I recommend the bookstore one over the coffee one if u r looking for a standard Kai bot to use, cuz the former’s settings are improved ((but like the coffee one’s still aight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Colin Zabel:

𝜗𝜚 Fanfics:

Everybody knows I’m a good girl, officer ✧

My haunted lungs, ghost in the sheets ✧

‘Cause when you know you know ❀

𝜗𝜚 AI bots:

Getting arrested by Colin… again ❀

Having your first session with therapist!Colin ❀

Professor!Colin teaching you on your first day of college ❀

Peter Maximoff:

Peter challenging you to Pac-Man at the arcade ❀

Chilling with Peter in his room ❀

You’re both lonely on prom night so Peter invites you to join him ❀

Stan Bowes:

You’re the daughter of Stan’s boss and he has to pick you up from a party ❀

Having your first ever dinner with sugardaddy!Stan ❀

Interrupting Stan in the middle of work ❀

Austin Sommers:

paparazzi!Austin who won’t stop pestering you ❀

Kyle Spencer:

Frankenkyle showing up at your doorstep in the middle of the night ❀

You’re a new witch at the academy and you’re responsible for Frankenkyle ❀

Studying alone with frat!Kyle at the campus library ❀

frat!Kyle comes up to you at a college party on New Year’s Eve ❀

Tate Langdon:

perv!Tate snapping photos of you in the school’s bathroom ✧

Helping Tate after he gets bullied at school ❀

Tate walking in on you playing a ritual game ❀

Dealing with an emotionally unstable Tate after your break up (based off the song ‘Meant to Be Yours’ from Heathers: The Musical) ✮

Kit Walker:

singledad!Kit hiring you as a babysitter ❀

Kit taking all the blame for you at the asylum ✮

bartender!Kit serving you a free drink ❀

Getting steamy with husband!Kit in the kitchen ✧

Luke Cooper:

Luke getting everyone’s coffee orders wrong but yours ❀

#masterlist #c.ai #c.ai bot #c.ai chats #c.ai creator #character.ai #c.ai shenanigans #character ai bot #ai bots #ahs #american horror story #evan peters #ahs fandom #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson #kyle spencer #kyle spencer x reader #colin zabel #colin zabel x reader #stan bowes #stan bowes x reader #peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #quicksilver #austin sommers #tate langdon

[lina-lovebug]

USM characters dating an Avengers daughter

- you knew his about his not-so-subtle crush on your dad when you first met, and decided not to tell him

- you adore him but whose to say he won't just use you as an excuse to hang out with your philanthropist billionaire playboy dad?

- but you'd been dating awhile, and had met Aunt May (who adored you), so why were you avoiding the subject of your dad?

- that was until you were fixing your suit and Peter walked in, gave you a kiss and offered to help. You forgot the little engraving your dad left you on your suit, "be careful and kick ass, love dad"

- "aw, that's sweet," he smiled, "when can I meet him?"

- "you. . .already have," you said, trying to gage his reaction, "he made me my first suit. . .and yours"

- it took him a few seconds but then it all clicked. His super amazing genius girlfriend whose dad bought her a Porsche at fifteen was Tony Stark

- his idol

- "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but you idolize him and I was scared and-"

- he understood - completely shocked but understood

- he does ask if that means he can drive the Porsche now tho

- you and your mom? Best friends

- danny and your mom? Not so much

- being the daughter of Black Widow herself came with a lot of trust, and many secrets so you never intended on dating because of it

- but then this handsome motherfucker gentleman comes along and you're on cloud nine

- you told him you have a complicated past and he respected that, waiting until you were ready

- but he's Iron Fist, King of K'un L'un and an Agent of SHIELD so he took notice when you'd disappear from team sessions

- he admits he got curious and followed one day, and there you were: training with Black Widow herself, and doing it flawlessly

- and at the end of it, his suspicions were confirmed once you hugged and said, "thanks, mom"

- "So are you gonna introduce us or does he always do that?" She made DIRECT eye contact with him and it honestly sent a shiver down his spine

- he introduced himself, remaining calm and collected, which impressed her but she also knows that people can hide how they rlly feel

- she GRILLED HIM

- "where'd you grow up?" "K'un L'un" "who are your parents?" "Heather and Wendell Rand" "if you're a billionaire, why do you wear five dollar flip flops?"

- you knew she approved of him, but she liked to keep him on his toes

- "beloved, I love you, but your mother scares me"

- oh how does one BEGIN to explain to their bullet proof boyfriend that their dad is Thor?

- he knew you had to be other worldly, and not just because he thinks you're a Goddess you accidentally struck him with lightning one time

- you wanted to keep it a secret for a bit before the Almighty Thor comes in and demands to know Luke's intentions

- "babe, why is Thor asking me when I'm proposing?"

- being a God came with perks, so Thor knew not long after you guys started dating that something was amiss with his daughter

- (you stopped remembering to being him poptarts and he got upset)

- "how do I know if he is worthy of your hand?"

- "He makes me laugh :) and he's bulletproof so. . ."

- they get along great

- his first trip to Asgard was a bit intimidating but seeing as you're half human, your mom reminded him that love between you guys was possible

- "I recommend a traditional Asgardian ceremony-"

- "dad we're sixteen"

- o h b o i

- talk about overprotective father

- you're a minute late, who were you with? What were you doing? I want their names, addresses, social security-

- if you guessed Winter Soldier a.k.a Bucky then you guessed right

- he knew something was up the moment you two lingered for a bit after training, and watching from the top deck this man SPOTTED your hands brush and asked Fury for Novas' personal file

- but knowing your dad, you were actually able to keep your relationship a secret for two months before he put the pieces together himself

- you both were out on a picnic date, Sam having made a cute cake, and a very threatening man with a metal arm came up sat down, smiled at him, held his hand out and said, "Samuel Alexander, sixteen, last Nova, grew up in Carefree, and 5'8, correct?"

- you were LIVID

- meanwhile Sam was like "omg he knows my name :0!!"

- you had told Sam long before dating that your dad was extremely overprotective, but Sam being Sam was just excited that his badass girlfriend has a badass dad!!

- and Buckys like "wtf this kid isn't even remotely terrified"

- Sam asks question after question, and it even turns into a third wheel - as in they're bonding and you're just there

- Bucky likes him but still tries to be somewhat intimidating, being the infamous Winter Soldier and all

- "Babe. . .baabe. . .when's your dad gonna be back? I wanna ask him if he likes my new helmet look"

- so like where do I even start

- you and Ava had been dating for a couple of months before she started to realize that she hadn't met your family

- you told her that they were just really intense and you didn't wanna scare her

- but who could scare White Tiger? So she insisted and you said "your funeral"

- also how does one explain to their partner that they technically shouldn't exist because your dad is a robot and your mom is a witch?

- your brothers LOVE her

- Billy and Tommy immediately recognized Ava, seeing as they'd work with the team from time to time and said "ooh our sisters dating the smart one"

- and Ava like, "babe I think I kicked one of their asses in training"

- Wanda adores Ava, she thinks she's good for you and might as well have someone mentally stable in your life

- Meanwhile in Avas' mind, "omg omg her mom is Scarlet Witch, her dad is Vision - wait is that why she's so smart? Is my girlfriend a robot?"

- no you're not a robot

- Vision likes her, and he knew about you two before you two even started dating. Why? You rambled about White Tiger during dinner once and Vision CLOCKED that look in your eyes

- needless to say, Sunday dinners with your family are now mandatory with Ava

#ultimate spiderman #ultimate spiderman x reader #ultimate spiderman imagine #peter parker x reader #sam alexander #sam alexander x reader #nova marvel #iron fist x reader #luke cage #white tiger #usm x reader

[marchentraume]

Radio Omens Thoughts

General - 

First off, you can find the Radio Drama here uwuwuwu

The cast was 10/10 amazing, I love the audiobook but it was really interesting to hear how Neil and Sir Terry wanted everyone to sound before the show was even a thought. Dirk Maggs and Heather Larmour's Direction is so well done! I'm a huge fan of Hitchhiker's Guide so might try out his radio drama later...

The Them and Anathema are personal faves of the supporting cast so I’m always happy to get a new experience with those characters, Anathema’s gaydar going off the charts was perfect (“‘Angel’?” gets me good).

Just want to highlight Josie Lawrence as Agnes is perfect just like with the show, I’m so happy they didn’t change that after the radio drama, the adaptation made her so wickedly charming that I think was in the show but it goes by so fast with everything going on.

There are definitely parts in the book that are somewhat hard for me to get through, and I think the radio adaptation helped push those along a lot better. I do wish we got to hear the parts of Aziraphale spirit hopping around a bit before finding Crowley, but I just wanted to hear him talk more. Overall this is a good way to experience the book if you aren’t sure about reading it yet, or you’re like me and need help figuring out what it was I read in the first place. 

Aziraphale and Crowley -

No notes holy shit 20/10 casting, they’re only in the drama just about as much as the book which makes me sad but their scenes were absolutely burning with how flirty they were.

They are 100% already married here and comfortable with each other, the lull of their routine is only disrupted by Armageddon which is really annoying so now they have to do their jobs.

Aziraphale acting as narrator for some scenes was a good choice, blah blah something about reliable vs unreliable narrator Crowley (I just can’t put it to words right now oops).

Peter Serafinowicz your Crowley gives me so much gender it’s insane, also when he’s doing the nanny voice???? Hello????? I could have a whole chapter of him and Aziraphale during that time just chatting with each other and little Warlock.

I overall really loved the respective performances of Peter and Mark, both portrayed the two with this freedom of doubt and lots of mutual love. Crowley still wants to keep Aziraphale safe and he’s confident he can even as events get worse, the latter is stubborn knowing he’s right but confident that his demon will catch up and figure it out (even if begrudgingly so). They already have their happy ending, it can only get happier from here after they save the world.

I definitely recommend Radio Omens, it really is part of the golden triad of experiencing the story. 

My personal recommendation: Book, Show, Radio

If you have a harder time starting books (be it reading or listening) then: Show, Book, Radio

Next on my list is the audiobook with the show cast, but I’ll take a break for a bit since every time I read/watch the original story I get so worked up I need to calm down for about a month or so :’) 

What do YOU all think of radio omens? Please tell me or send me Radio Omens headcanons and opinions. I need them badly chomping at the bit here!

#good omens #radio omens #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #anathema device #agnes nutter #my writing #my words

[cressthebest]

just finished my first read through of just lovers and i am sobbing at two am, desperately trying not to wake my roommate.

a few things:

1. i read the second half of the fic with “Northern Attitude” by Noah Kahan and Hozier playing on repeat at an alarmingly high volume. 10/10 highly recommend. very wolfstar coded tho.

2. i read all marauders fics not centered around wolfstar with the intent that i get to read background wolfstar and boy did this DELIVER.

3. peter is treated like a real fucking HUMAN BEING in this and for that, i am in love with the author. peter has such PERSONALITY! dare i say that peters characterization in this fic outshined ATYD. (don’t hate me for this). i could go on and on about everything peter and did and how it made him a real character i loved, but we don’t have time for that.

highlights:

-when peter and sirius joke about shagging, and mime/pretend about to do it. because that’s fucking hilarious. and the way sirius and peter have these inside jokes between them and obvious interactions in the fic where sirius clearly gets along with peter and has spent one on one time with him and ENJOYED IT. and peter is funny and makes jokes too!

-peter telling regulus about seeing james potter naked during the breakup. he’s just a mischievous little shit like the rest of his freinds and i love him for that.

4. THE FUCKING END PARAGRAPHS HOLY SHIT. i could murder the author for this. (despite my previous statement of saying i was in love).

SPOILER:

JAMES SETS DOWN HIS FUCKING WAND AND LEAVES HARRY AND LILY AND REGULUS AND MARY AND HIS F A M I L Y TO GO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR ON HALLOWEEN WITHOUT HIS F U C K I N G WAND.

when i say i started sobbing as i read that he heard a knock and set down his wand, i mean it. i had to set down my phone and breathe. when i realized they were fine, i sobbed harder because i was SO SCARED for them. all of them.

and the reference to it being like a ghost of another life. that KILLS me.

5. regulus almost drowning in the lake as a nod to his canon death was ABSOLUTELY gut wrenching. it was like torture of the sweetest kind for the reader.

6. the author made multiple references to “other lives, ghosts of another life, other universes, etc” and each one absolutely stole my lungs and heart and broke it into a million pieces before giving it back.

7. heather by conan gray (reg as conan, james as you, and lily as heather.) that’s all i have to say.

fucking masterpiece, lots of love. everyone should read this.

#marauders #mwpp #mwpp era #jegulus #regulus black #james potter #peter pettigrew #wolfstar #just lovers like we were supposed to be #just lovers #all the young dudes #crimson rivers #art heist baby

[phantastragoria]

do you have a favourite portrayal of a character in the gotg game!! who is it and why <3

Oh I think they're all great honestly!!! Part of why I love the game so much is that genuinely, the whole team + supporting characters are written with such obvious love of the source material and equal attention between them all. When I see comments of people saying who their favorite character was from the game and the answer always being different from each person I'm like!! That's how it SHOULD be!!! They're the Guardians of the Galaxy (plural) the focus shouldn't all fall on a singular character like most other GotG media usually ends up as 😭

The two (sorry I can't pick just one) whom I think benefit the most from the game though are Drax and Gamora because they're almost always sidelined both in-and-out of universe by most of the various writers (especially as of late) and in turn the viewers/readers. I've been told plenty of times that they're the most boring members of the "main" team, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! The amount of love the game versions get (by the few who've played it at least) proves that 🥺

I've never really liked 616 Drax shifting to being a complete clown during the 90s and such (and even less so when the MCU followed along 💀) So I appreciate the game taking a bit of his seriousness from the DnA run and just making him struggle with nuance and context clues in a less exaggerated way (autistic Drax I still believe in u) and I feel the focus put on him and how losing his original family + the aftermath deeply affected him hits pretty hard here because it's treated very seriously and shown in depth, especially with how his family (wife) gets actual focus. I cannot tell you anything about Yvette in comparison to Hovat, who actually seemed to have had a personality lol (AND she was on their village's council like omg imagine having more to you than just being The Housewife) Though I will say I flip and flop on my thoughts about Heather being disconnected from Drax's life in this universe... The TLDR is that I think his arc here specifically works stronger when he has to come to terms with losing his entire family and accepting the life he currently has with the Guardians. BUT!!! I very much appreciate that Heather is still confirmed to exist within this universe, even if that means her dad issues would have to be dealt with in a different context if we ever get to see her.

Also? Shoutout to the writers actually bringing up the intense paranoia that always kneecapped 616 Drax but having that be a turning point in his backstory here, with that conversation he has with Peter where he talks about how he was becoming so paranoid of everyone being a chitauri/Thanos conspirator to the point of literally turning into an obsessed maniac like Thanos, and realizing that he desperately needed to turn his life around, it's so ough.

Out of the already many great conversations throughout the game, I think the ones with him are the most poignant. My favorite scene in the whole game is Drax and Pete's little moment on Knowhere... makes me go wahhh

(l also love that out of everyone on the team, it's his headspace that we quite literally get to go into. You KNOW that if this was any other media it'd be going into Rocket or Groot's head and likely treated as a joke.)

And oh my god, Gamora...

I find it so extremely refreshing that her role in the plot doesn't revolve purely around the men in her life, and instead, it's nearly exclusively her connection with other women. Or in the most direct obstacle she has to deal with, being how she starts projecting to the millionth degree on Nikki's situation for reminding her of what happened to her and Nebula. I find that infinitely more fascinating as a reading of her character rather than just dating drama or her arc getting completely overtaken by a man's instead.

And especially in her friendship with Mantis, who, despite having all these futures she's constantly seeing and having to navigate, still makes time to do her best to help her 🥺 From saving her life and being the one who put her on the path to healing on Lamentis, to getting her to join the Guardians and still checking in on her when she's able 😭 Friendship between women can be so powerful... u love to see it (🏳️‍🌈)

I also find it nice that there's this emphasis on her recovering mentally, and the comparison between Thanos essentially teaching her to just Deal with the shit in her life through very simplistic meditation versus the priests of Pama actually teaching her something to help soothe the mind :^( and that she still has moments of relapsing essentially. I find that to be a realistic take on recovery because that's just part of the journey since healing is not linear... and I think it's very sweet that she finds comfort in collecting something ---girly--- like dolls. Love to see a person reclaim a part of their childhood that they weren't allowed to experience. And how she's allowed to make BAD JOKES?? Imagine a woman being written to have multiple dimensions, crazy and absolutely unthinkable, I know.

There's this extremely specific theme in relation to Gamora across media that's been rattling around in my brain since first playing the game. When near the end during the revisit to Knowhere, she's about to completely lose it when Peter tries talking -for- her on what she's so upset about before immediately shooting him down, and she explains what happened between her and Nebula and she starts crying. It really struck me right then that she's never given a moment to cry elsewhere (or in the 616's case, the quite literal inability to.) aside from her shedding a Single Manly Tear (Original Sin) or a single moment out of legit fear (MCU 💀) because she's a hashtag Strong Independant Woman who can't be vulnerable etc etc. But for her to cry in front of the people she's come to care about, It gives her a moment of true vulnerability that I don't think she's allowed ever in most other media.

That and all of the above hits hard and is what makes me genuinely believe that the writers cared about her in the narrative and tried to do right by her when every other bit of media really hasn't nor cared to the majority of the time since the 90s :'^/ Brings a tear to my eye that she's allowed to just... exist in the narrative on her own merits and not on what she can provide to someone else's story.

#lex thoughts #gotg thoughts #universe: eidos game #gotg2008 #sorry for asking for a question then immediately disappearing for a month 💔 I'm on the most stressful roadtrip ever #i 🫶 you for asking about them though the Eidos gotg are my everything and i won't shut up about them if given the chance #very funny to me that all these important moments happen on Knowhere. Strange things can happen at the end of the universe. #The end page of W&tIW 09 is the only other Gamora moment of vulnerability across media that i can specifically pinpoint #But it's more self reflection in a way of a heavily traumatic experience that I don't feel ever truly got resolved within the 616 IMO #And I find it a specific point to be made when Gamora is/isn't allowed to feel or literally denied things that are stereotypically- #-categorized as -feminine- (which is dumb to assign gender roles to a simple human emotion such as CRYING.- #-But you get what I mean I hope) We play fast and loose with gender around here pardner I think all of the gotg should cry more #but in Gamora's case specifically it Hits Different knowing her past and treatment throughout media #i could also heavily go into the way the game adapts Peter's character in relation to his element guns but that's an essay for another time #just because -i- find that extremely fascinating doesn't mean i think he should particularly be the main focus (and he isnt) #bc pete rocket and groot are the ones that already get all the attention (even if i dont agree with how they're written elsewhere) #i just find it more engaging for the other two main characters of the team that always get sidelined by the writers actually being put in- #-the spotlight with equal attention given to them for once to be sooo -shakes fist #sorry for the intense word salad i hope i make sense lol ESSAY/RANT OVER .🤐

[brckentales]

hey there! this is a new multimuse rp blog, that features characters from dc & marvel (with more to come later!) . crossover friendly & headcanon based. i'll have a detailed muse list soon, but feel free to pm me or interact to set up RPs in the meantime! the writer is 18+, and i ask anyone who follows to be an adult as well, as this blog will feature mature themes, including heavy adult content, so please bare that in mind. i'm also completely open to writing on discord, if that's your preference!

also, this pinned post and everything else is mostly temporary. i'll be working on making everything look nicer as i go along!

under the cute, i’ll include a few things, including my muse list, some muses / characters i’m looking for to write opposite with, and a few other details for rp!

my messages are always open, feel free to dm!

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR

i'm open to most kinda plots and pairings, open to any themes and ideas, we can discuss whatever tbh. i don't have any real limits here.

WHO I PLAY

there’s a more detailed muse list below, but honestly? i can play most any male character tbh, whatever fits the plot or pairing we go for! i can do canons, crossovers, or ocs —— it's all a yes from me! feel free to suggest someone who might not be on the list.

MUSE LIST

again, i’m pretty flexible and can write some characters outside of this, whether canon or oc, so feel free to suggest anything, this is more just for inspiration, tbh.

DC

Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Robin, Signal, Batman Beyond, Green Lantern / Kyle, The Flash / Barry, The Flash / Wally, Impulse, Green Arrow / Oliver Queen, Green Arrow / Connor Hawke, Arsenal, Aquaman, Aqualad / Kaldurah'm, Superboy / Conner, Superman / Jon, Cyborg, Booster Gold, Hawk, Hawkman, Deathstroke, Deadshot, Black Adam, Vandal Savage, Scarecrow, Flashpoint Batman / Thomas Wayne, Bane, Reverse-Flash, Black Manta, Ocean Master, Lobo, Swamp Thing, Jimmy Olsen, Joker

MARVEL

Daredevil, Punisher, Hawkeye, Spider-Man / Peter Parker, Spider-Man / Miles Morales, Spider-Man 2099 / Miguel O'Hara, Spider-Man Noir, Cyclops, Wolverine, Magneto, Archangel, Green Goblin / Norman, Green Goblin / Harry, Doctor Doom, Human Torch, Deadpool, Bullseye, Iron Fist, Luke Cage, Winter Soldier, Nick Fury, Havok, Kingpin

MISC

Ben Tennyson, Kevin Levin, Zuko, Mako

WHO I’M LOOKING FOR

now here's the main gist of of what i'm looking for! if you can play any of the following characters, i would absolutely love it!

DC

Cheshire / Jade Nguyen, Artemis Crock (from Young Justice), Yara Flor, Lois Lane, Donna Troy, Wonder Woman, Talia al Ghul, Black Canary / Dinah Lance, Zatanna, Ravager / Rose Wilson, Huntress / Helena Bertinelli, Jessica Cruz / Green Lantern, Poison Ivy, Star Sapphire / Carol Ferris, Punchline, Supergirl, Spoiler, Lian Harper, Catwoman, Batgirl, Dawn Granger (Titans TV), Starfire, Lilith Clay, Hawkgirl, Lady Shiva, Mera, some Arrowverse girls (Iris West, Sara Lance, Thea Queen, Laurel Lance)

MARVEL

Elektra Natchios, Psylocke, Jean Grey, Emma Frost, Rogue, Kate Bishop, Lorna Dane, Susan Storm, Sersi, Felicia Hardy, Gwen Stacy / Spider-Gwen, Wanda, Laura Kinney, Black Widow, Wanda Maximoff, Danvers (MCU), Mary Jane Watson, Hope van Dyne (MCU)

OVERWATCH

Ashe or Kiriko

FINAL FANTASY 7

Tifa Lockhart, Aerith Gainsborough, Jessie Rasberry

RED DEAD REDEMPTION

Abigail Roberts, Sadie Adler, Mary-Beth Gaskill

STAR WARS

Leia or Rey

GAME OF THRONES

Daenerys Targaryen, Cersei Lannister, Margaery Tyrell, Melisandre

AVATAR

Azula, Suki

DISNEY / NICK SITCOMS

Teddy Duncan (Good Luck, Charlie), Alex Russo (Wizards), Carly Shay (iCarly), Tori / Trina / Jade (Victorious), Sharpay Evans / Gabriella Montez (High School Musical)

TOTAL DRAMA

Heather, Gwen, Courtney

MISC

Starlight / Annie January (The Boys), Gwen Tennyson (Ben 10 Alien Force or older), Daphne Blake, Kim Possible, Colette (Ratatouille), Cinderella (Disney), Betty Cooper (Riverdale), Ellie Williams (TLOU2), Yennefer of Vengerberg (The Witcher show)

CELEBRITIES

Margot Robbie, Megan Fox, Gemma Chan, Madison Beer, Anne Hathaway, Anya Chalotra, Victoria Pedretti, Jessica Chastain, Emeraude Taubia, Jenna Dewan, Candice Patton, Sydney Sweeney, Alice Eve, Caity Lotz, Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Olivia Wilde, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, Conor Leslie, Minka Kelly, Alejandra Guilmant, Kennedy Walsh, Olivia Rodrigo, Hailey Bieber, Doja Cat, Hailee Steinfeld, Dakota Johnson, Corinna Kopf, Florence Pugh, Lili Reinhart, Ariana Grande, Scarlet Johansson, Bridget Mendler, Madelyn Cline, Sabrina Carpenter, Anya Taylor-Joy

[sebastianravkin]

Fuck book banning 2024

30 Banned Books You Should Read (from Bored Teachers, linked below).

From picture books to classic literature, here we go. . . .

1. Where the Wild Things Are

By Maurice Sendak

Where the Wild Things Are is a childhood classic and Caldecott-winning picture book about a young boy named Max who sails to a far off land and becomes king of the wild things. While he is sent to his room for wreaking havoc in his wolf costume, Max returns from the land of his imagination to find a hot supper waiting for him.

Why it was banned: Supernatural elements and dark, disturbing imagery; psychologically damaging because a boy is sent to bed without supper.

2. In the Night Kitchen

By Maurice Sendak

A boy named Mickey is asleep in his bed when he’s suddenly transported into the Night Kitchen, a land where bakers obsessively bake the morning’s cake. At one point, Mickey falls into the batter. He loses his pajamas along the way and is depicted nude in a few spreads, until he escapes the kitchen in a plane made of bread and wakes up in his own bed.

Why it was banned: Nudity

3. Strega Nona

By Tomie DePaolo

Strega Nona leaves Big Anthony alone with her magic pasta pot, and soon Anthony unleashes a magic he cannot control. Luckily, Strega Nona – literally, Grandmother Witch – returns to sort out Big Anthony’s mess.

Why it was banned: Positive depictions of witchcraft

4. And Tango Makes Three

Written by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell and illustrated by Henry Cole

Based on a true story, And Tango Makes Three describes two male penguins named Roy and Silo, who are a bonded pair. A zookeeper gives them a motherless egg, and together the two penguins hatch and raise a chick named Tango.

Why it was banned: Positive depictions of same-sex family

5. Where the Sidewalk Ends

By Shel Silverstein

Shel Silverstein’s irreverent poetry and his signature artwork are practically modern classics. They are funny and an easy introduction to poetry for elementary school students – even my high school students still read these poems!

Why it was banned: Rebellious poems that undermine parental authority

6. Heather Has Two Mommies

Written by Leslea Newman and illustrated by Laura Cornell

Heather has two mommies, but she learns that families come in all shapes and sizes when she and her classmates draw pictures of their families and no two are the same.

Why it was banned: Same-sex parenting and homosexuality

7. I Am Jazz

Written by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings and illustrated by Shelagh McNicholas

Jazz Jennings knew from a young age that she had a “girl’s brain in a boy’s body.” I Am Jazz chronicles Jazz’s story as a transgender individual.

Why it was banned: Depictions of a transgender child

8. The Family Book

By Todd Parr

The Family Book is a celebration of the different varieties that families come in – two parents, one parent, same-sex parents, grandparents, pets, and more. This book celebrates the differences that make us who we are.

Why it was banned: Depiction of same-sex families

9. Captain Underpants

By Dav Pilkey

Captain Underpants is a bestselling series of graphic novels for children about a superhero named Captain Underpants and his creators George and Harold.

Why it was banned: Offensive language, partial nudity, glorifying misbehavior by children

10. Walter the Farting Dog

Written by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray and illustrated by Audrey Colman

Billy and Betty love their dog Walter in spite of his odorous problem, but Dad says they have to get rid of him. One night, burglars break in and Walter gets to save the day!

Why it was banned: Excessive use of the word ‘fart’

11. The Hate U Give

By Angie Thomas

Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter is the sole witness of the police shooting that kills her friend Khalil. She finds herself caught in a firestorm as Khalil’s story blows up into a national debate. The Hate U Give – THUG for short – has won just about every award a book can win.

Why it was banned: Inappropriate language and sexual situations

12. A Wrinkle in Time

By Madeleine L’Engle

In this book that won the Newbery award, Meg, her brother Charles Wallace, and her friend Calvin travel across the universe in search of her missing father, an astrophysicist. The book is a coming of age tale that is truly about a battle of good versus evil.

Why it was banned: Being too religious, not being religious enough, depictions of witchcraft and the supernatural

13. Perks of Being a Wallflower

By Stephen Chobsky

Charlie, the wallflower in the title, stars in this coming-of-age story as he tries to navigate the sometimes-tumultuous waters of adolescence. The book is raw and real.

Why it was banned: Language, homosexuality, scenes that sexually explicit, and depictions of drug and alcohol abuse

14. Looking for Alaska

By John Green

Protagonist Miles Halter leaves for boarding school and meets Alaska Young, a bold, tortured girl like he’s never met before, whose fate at the end of the story impacts Miles forever.

Why it was banned: Offensive language and sexually explicit descriptions

15. The Outsiders

By S.E. Hinton

The Outsiders is one of the iconic classic banned books. It tells the story of Ponyboy and his fellow “Greaser” brothers Darry and Sodapop. The greasers are at war with a rival gang called the “Socs,” and one day things go too far.

Why it was banned: Offensive language, depictions of drug use, gang violence

16. The Giver

By Lois Lowry

The Giver is the first in a series of often four banned books called The Giver Quartet. It depicts a dystopian world of conformity in which only one man retains all of society’s memories and emotions. Twelve-year-old Jonas is selected to become the next Receiver of Memory, and with this new assignment comes a world of realization that Jonas is hardly prepared to receive.

Why it was banned: Depictions of infanticide and euthanasia in a dystopian society

17. Speak

By Laurie Halse Anderson

Melinda starts her freshman year completely ostracized after she called the cops on a party that got out of hand during the summer. She shuts down, only finding a small respite in art class. Eventually, the reader learns that something happened at the party that changed the trajectory of Melinda’s life. Once her secret is out, she recovers her voice and learns to always speak up for herself.

Why it was banned: Profanity, sexually explicit content and depictions of drinking

18. Forever

By Judy Blume

Forever is a book about a committed high school couple deciding to have sex. Specifically, the teenager girl protagonist, Katherine, decides to lose her virginity to Michael. Eventually, their relationship fizzles, leaving Katherine contemplating the nature of love.

Why it was banned: Descriptions of sexual intercourse and discussions of birth control put this on the list of frequently banned books.

19. The Golden Compass

By Philip Pullman

This is the first in a fantasy trilogy for teens that is set in a world where humans each have animal familiars known as daemons. Protagonist Lyra, an orphan girl, is concerned about the mysterious disappearances of children in her town. When she learns the disappearances may be connected somehow to her scholarly uncle and a strange phenomenon known as Dust, she sets out to solve the mystery. 

Why it was banned: Promotion of atheism and denigration of Christianity

20. Cut

By Patricia McCormick

This short book is about Callie, a girl who cuts herself and is sent to a treatment facility, where she falls mute and refuses to participate in rehabilitation. It’s an intense and powerful read.

Why it was banned: Depictions of self-mutilation

21. The Glass Castle

By Jeanette Walls

The Glass Castle spent seven years on the bestseller list, which speaks to the power of this memoir. Walls writes about her upbringing in the hands of a brilliant father who turned destructive when drinking and a mother who didn’t want the responsibility of motherhood.

Why it was banned: Sexual situations, depictions of abuse and alcoholism

22. The Kite Runner

By Khaled Hosseini

A novel of searing power, The Kite Runner follows Amir, a man who was raised in Afghanistan and becomes a successful writer in the United States. The death of his childhood friend at the hands of the Taliban prompts Amir to return to the land of his childhood, where he must face the memories that haunt him.

Why it was banned: Sexual violence, religious viewpoint, offensive language

23. To Kill A Mockingbird

By Harper Lee

A classic taught in many schools today, To Kill A Mockingbird is a coming of age story set against a vicious trial in which a white woman falsely accuses a black man of rape in the deep South.

Why it was banned: Profanity, racial slurs, discussion of rape

24. The Catcher in the Rye

By J.D. Salinger

Holden Caulfield is, at sixteen, jaded by society, by adults, and by the world around him. He explores the bowels of New York City and its characters in a story that ultimately examines the loss of innocence required to grow up in this world.

Why it was banned: Profanity and sexual scenes

25. Beloved

By Toni Morrison

Beloved is an unflinching and important read that explores the atrocities of slavery from the perspective of Sethe, a woman who was once a slave and is now free, except for the memories of the hideous things she was forced to experience.

Why it was banned: Racial and sexual violence, infanticide, language

26. Slaughterhouse Five

By Kurt Vonnegut

Billy Pilgrim, a World War II prisoner becomes “unstuck” in time and relives scenes from his life over and over again. The theme Vonnegut develops centers around the depravity of war.

Why it was banned: Sexual situations, profane language, content deemed immoral and anti-Christian

27. Animal Farm

By George Orwell

Animal Farm is an allegory about the dangers of totalitarianism. In it, a cast of farm animals set out to great a utopia, but their dream becomes a nightmare when the subtle temptation of power becomes too much and tyranny reigns supreme.

Why it was banned: Political commentary that could encourage unrest

28. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

By Maya Angelou

Angelou writes a memoir about her indomitable spirit, from the loneliness she feels when her mother sends her to live with her grandmother to the experience of being raped as a child. She writes about how she found herself within the pages of books written by great authors, which led her to become one of America’s greatest poets.

Why it was banned: Offensive language and portrayals of child rape, racism, and violence

29. Of Mice and Men

By John Steinbeck

George travels with Lennie, a man with a heart of gold and the mind of a child. They look for work in depression era California, while dreaming of their own chance at the American Dream.

Why it was banned: Profanity, racial slurs, violence, depressing themes

30. The Handmaid’s Tale

By Margaret Atwood

This dystopian novel takes place in a post-democracy world ruled by hyper-religious totalitarian regime that has enslaves women and forces them to bear children.

Why it was banned: Sexual overtones

#fuck book banning #banned books #book banning #books and reading #books

[koishua]

content creator year in review!

thank you @daegall for tagging me! i am inviting any creator that sees this tag to also share their year of creating! (please do this i want more fics to read so if you could just run along and tag me yeah ty goodbye </3)

first creation and most recent creation of 2022:

my first creation this year is pretty little flowers, i think. it's a sunghoon hanahaki!au excerpt from a larger fic i had been working on, but then gave up completing, as always. i think i like it a lot.

moments like these. my latest creation! i don't have much to say about it haha honestly i wrote so many different stuff this year that my brain just can't think of more words to write but yeah say olé for jay fluff.

one of your favorite creations of 2022:

rain again. it's a gaon fic and it's one of my favourites to come out of this year. it's a little out there in terms of plot, but it's so comforting for me personally. it was a cathartic experience, writing this, and i just adore the concept of self here.

honorable mention: try again. i was in a slump and decided to make myself feel better by writing this comfort fic. it's a little personal, just like rain again, so i guess that's why i hold this dear to my heart.

one creation you're really proud of:

les mur des j'taimes. me writing this was all spontaneous after i'd visited paris this year haha. i love how sweet and overall wholesome jungwon is in this one.

a creation that took you forever:

when flowers wilt on the 21st of march... don't even get me started on this fic. i despise and adore it to my core. i hope it burns, but also, yeonjun, jay, and heather are everything to me. i have such personal connections with these characters. i cried even thinking about the ending, because it hurt me to hurt them. that's part of the reason why i can't bring myself to finish the other half of it.

a creation from 2022 that received the most notes:

enemies to lovers prompts. i don't know what i put in the pot, but people really seemed to like this, so have it as it is at 5k notes, i think (?).

attractive and cute thing yeonjun does as your bf. now this... this is purely self-indulgent. this was me brainrotting and 2k people agreeing with me </3

a creation from 2022 you think deserved more notes:

this wretched world. i believe it's criminal that this has less than 100 notes. i know i was shadowbanned randomly, but what the heck, tumblr </3 it was my rage-driven brain child. please read this for angry feels. grim reaper/devil!hoon btw idk how to describe this entity.

the way home. i have the biggest thing for strangers!aus and i think this is my favourite one and it hurts me that it hasn't gotten as many notes as my other tubatu drabbles haha but that's okay.

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

xdinary heroes, all yours. forever in a jooyeon brainrot. they have become one of my favourite groups and i love them so much. domestic aus break me, so i had to write this.

a creation you made that breaks your heart:

you'll be flying. jungwon angsts hurt almost as good as hee/hoon angsts, what can i say? this one was a little personal as well, so i definitely shed a tear or two while writing it. it's one of my favourites.

farewell to a love. so... yeah... obviously a heeseung angst. i don't have anything else to say. i love me some sad hee feels.

a 'simple' creation you really love:

adore you. gyu and busses strike a primal thing in me idk how to explain it. they just make sense. so yes, bad boy gyu simping over reader while going back home. what else do you even want?

a creation that was inspired by another one:

the long night. straight up jack frost!hyunjin. i love peter pan concepts, but i love jack more, so obviously i had to make hyunjin jack. the vibes in this are one of my favourites. please read it if you can, because i need others to squeal about jack frost!hyunjin with me.

some of your favorite content creators from this year:

@neo-shitty @lebrookestore @xdhaven @yyxgin @chocosvt @orpheyeux @indgio @kdyism are the creators i remember reading most often this year! i haven't read here much, but if i did, these are the people who i read from! do check them out, because their writings are incredible.

#tp

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

So, I have been in a bit of a writing dry spell recently and I am trying to find a way to kickstart things. For those of you who don't know, I am a HUGE fan of musicals! It is honestly a bit of an obsession 😅 So, I want to try something! (I haven't forgotten all of my current WIPs, requests, or series. I am hoping this restarts some of my creative juices to go back to them!)

Challenge: Send me a character or characters below the break (they have to be in the same fandom/world) along with a song from one of the musicals listed below, and I will write a drabble or fic (loosely) based on the song. Unless specified, I will make it a reader-insert.

Feel free to send me as many requests as you like and I will try to do my best to fulfill them. Also, feel free to ask about other musicals or other songs. These are just the ones I felt could really work with some of these characters but there are a ton of great ones I didn't include here!

Note: feel free to request a song from a musical not listed below. These are just the ones I thought had multiple songs that would work well for drabbles/fics. Due to this, some of my favorite musicals were left off this list, so please request away! I will at least consider any song. Feel free to reach out and ask first if you would like! 🥰

Characters: (one or more from a category)

Top Gun: Hangman, Rooster, Bob, Phoenix, Fanboy, Dagger Squad (as a whole), Maverick, Iceman (what the heck!) Marvel: Bucky Barnes, Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, Steve Rogers, The Avengers (as a whole), Peter Parker (The Amazing Spider-Man or MCU Spider-Man) DC: Batman (general or Battinson), Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, The Batfam (as a whole) Rick Flag, Harley Quinn, Captain Boomerang, The Suicide Squad (as a whole), Peacemaker, Vigilante Star Wars: Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren (Ben Solo), Din Djarin Misc: Takeshi Kovacs, Stephen Holder, Ed Baldwin, Rhett Abbott, Miles Miller, Harrison Knott

Musicals: (unless specified, the Broadway versions not movie versions)

Anastasia, Be More Chill, Catch Me If You Can, Chicago (movie), Hadestown*, Hamilton, Heathers, Into the Woods, The Greatest Showman (movie), The Lightning Thief, The Phantom of the Opera (movie), Wicked

*No Batman-related characters for Hadestown. I have a full fic in the works for that 😊

Wild Card Song Picks: (not traditional musicals but still great songs)

Songs from season 2 of the NBC show Smash (still obsessed after all these years) Songs from the ABC show Galavant (an extremely underrated show) Feel free to include a song from a Disney movie/musical and I might give it a shot. Some I am definitely open to off the top of my head are: Proud of Your Boy (Aladdin Musical), Evermore (Beauty and the Beast live-action), Go the Distance (Hercules), I Won't Say I'm in Love (Hercules), Part of Your World (Reprise) (The Little Mermaid), How Far I'll Go (Moana), or anything else you can think of!*

*I know I am a bad Disney fan, but I still haven't seen Encanto 😬 so please no songs from that

#vee's musical fic event #musical #top gun #marvel #dc #star wars #batman #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #rick flag #vigilante #peacemaker #bucky barnes #spider-man #matt murdock #frank castle #takeshi kovacs #stephen holder #ed baldwin #rhett abbott #miles miller #harrison knott #harley quinn #the suicide squad #the avengers #rooster #hangman #bob #galavant

[wolfieenaiisblog]

THESE hot men have taken over my life

hello, 9-1-1 these men have taken over my life. hey guys it's me Nai and if you didn't know I'm obsessed with sexy men just kidding. I was just hanging out this week and I was like wow I kind of have a grand master list of who I've been obsessed with so I thought hmm I wonder if someone is interested at all and every man that's taken over my life ever. I wrote down from like the age of six who and what guy I've liked all the way up to now I'm 16 and the list has gotten pretty long so I wrote it down in a notebook. I just want to share some of my memories and my thought process behind the men that I've been obsessed with because once a fangirl always a fangirl.

The first person I remember being obsessed with was around the 2013 era when I was seven years old and a guy that rapped songs on youtube called Mattyb. he was my Justin Bieber. Now when I was younger I used to think Mattyb was cute. I just remembered watching and being like he's so cute and I used to pretend he was my boyfriend and like play imaginary you know with your friends and that's my first memory of having like a crush Maybe like Jack Frost, Peter Pan, Danny Phantom I don't know but I'm not getting into cartoons like I kind of opted that one out because obviously, Aladdin was super hot too okay I told myself not to get into cartoons so I'm gonna go to 2014.

Okay in 2014 a little movie called The aliens in the attic, you probably think I liked Tom Pearson well I do not like Tom Pearson I like Jake Pearson that was the phrase I went through. I remember watching the aliens in the attic and my mom was like why are you rewatching that movie again and I was like I'm in love.

I was also obsessed with the little band called one direction, the boy that never left my heart was harry styles. I loved all their songs I and my sister will always listen to their songs and dance along to them.

I remember watching a show called henry danger where I was obsessed with Jace Norman. I had my eyes set on that blonde guy I was in love with him, but that obsession didn't die down all the way to 2016.

I had my eyes on Finn Wolfhard when I have seen him on stranger things, I love him with my whole heart, and I still have an obsession with him to this day, I watched all the movies he was in, and he had my ten-year-old heart still have it.

And then I was obsessed with Rodrick Heffley, he is so hot and I really like him still. That's when my bad boy phrase kicked in it was around 2017 and you know what else happened in 2017 I had a crush on Dylan O'fucking brein baby. I remembered watching teen wolf with my mother and while my friends crushed on Scott Mcall I was like Stiles.

My weirdest crush was MGk, I regretted liking I still feel embarrassed every time someone mentioned him to me. and fucking Pete Davidson I don't know what the fuck I saw in them but whatever I am so glad that crushed died down cause that was embarrassing for 12-year-old me.

and then Timothee Chalamet walked into my life I still have a crush on him by the way, he will always have my heart. I really liked this man I still have the fattest crush on him to this day, he is like my everything you know.

well you think it stopped there well you are wrong, they are also a lot of men that I liked but I am too lazy to put them all. But anyhoo a show called Outerbanks I was obsessed with JJ Maybank, he is like my other half basically. I remembered watching him and I was like shit I am gonna fall in love with him right.

Then I started watching a show called the society and I was obsessed with a guy who was psychotic and evil, his name was Campbell Eliot, yes I know he was a psychopath but he had a good-looking face alright.

And then I watched a show called heathers, and I vowed to myself don't fall in love, I fell in love with Jason Fucking Dean, yeah that's right another psychopath.

I think we all girls had a phrase where they were obsessed with Leonardo Dicaprio, I binged watched all his movies, Jack Dawson had my fucking heart.

Then I started watching a show called deadly class and I was obsessed with Marcus Lopez's underrated show. You should definitely check it out.

Then I watched a show called "I am not okay with this" as I was watching it, I looked at the screen and that's when I fall in love with Wyatt Oleff, I would rewatch it for almost a whole week cause of how much I loved him and I was waiting for season two. Netflix cancelled the show.

Then I was bored outta my mind and that's when I started simping over billy Loomis I rewatched the show for the second time and I realized how hot he really was.

And then I watched a movie called concrete cowboy starring Caleb Mclaughlin, and I am sitting there like when did he get so fine and that's when the obsession began.

Then one of my friends told me to watch a show called hemlock grove, where I fell in love with Bill Skarsgard I didn't know what he looked like and sounded like in real life out of the clown pennywise so when I watched it I was like omg when did Pennywise get so fine like shit.

and now in 2022, I was obsessed with Fezco from Euphoria, I watched edits of him.

Timothee Chalamet seemed to walk back in my life, where I binged watch all his movies watched edits of him, talking about him 24/7.

Stranger things season 4, Peter Ballard/henry creel/001/ vecna aka Jamie Campbell Bower. I fell in love with him without knowing he was the bad guy, I kinda knew he was but I was ignoring it because I didn't wanna believe that he could be so evil.

Joesph Quinn as Eddie Munson I love him so much sad that he had to die I am still mad at the duffer brothers.

And what do you know Elvis came out, and my austin butler phrase was back in. I watched the movie at least a total of 10 times. I'm obsessed with the guy now like really obsessed with him. Austin Butler is the love of my life literally.

and I have more crushes like Johnny Depp, Drew Starkey, Tom Holland, and more.

I feel like these last few months have just been a rollercoaster with Henry Creel coming into stranger things his real name is Jamie Campbell Bower.

Harry Styles, of course, that never goes away. Timothee Chalamet, these are people I just probably never get over I think Austin Butler is one of them too and it is getting really overwhelming for me I had to write this down not for your sake I know in the beginning I said you guys are interested but I feel like I had to get this off my chest it's gotten out of hand I've seen the Elvis movie for the tenth time. I don't know when this comes out I have seen it. It's only been a few days since I have seen it you know.

Stranger things season four finished, Timothee Chalamet will always be Timothee chalamet, I want the old Rodrick back it's just getting really out of hand. I pledge allegiance to all the men that have taken over my life.

Now I know that there are people I missed so if you want to help me with my grand master list of every person that's taken over my life comment down below or I know sure as hell if you are reading this someone has taken over your life so comment down below who that person is and we can talk about it I can agree and I can disagree we can agree to disagree give this post a like and follow me and I think for all the men that have taken over my life just for their sake I think it's time to skedaddle. thanks for reading this long ass rant

#all of the men i've loved #these men have taken over my life #stranger things #elvis #timothee chalamet #harrystyles #austinbutler #eddie munson #finn wolfhard #bill skarsgard #campbell eliot

[sincerepositivethings]

Issue One Hundred and Forty-Nine

Subscribe, if you want!

The Thing: Marvel's She-Hulk & Werewolf By Night Submitted by: Jonolobster Why It's Great: "2022 was the year it finally happened. I got MCU fatigue. It's not the dire medical condition it sounds like, I simply got a bit bored with the output of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But then, just when I thought of tapping out, in true cinematic fashion, they pulled me back in. Not through movies, but through a sitcom and a "special presentation." I can't explain why, but Jennifer Walters and Ted Sallis, along with their green alter-egos, are two of my favorite characters from the comics. Finally seeing them in live-action form, and very faithfully at that, was enough to respark the joy in making mine Marvel. Bonus: the new "Gargoyles" comic from Dynamite.

The Thing: Paramore "This is Why" Submitted by: TartTooth Why It's Great: "I can't stop listening to it."  

The Thing: The 1975 Being Funny In A Foreign Language Submitted by: Heather Hynes Why It's Great: "This album came out in the fall and I still have not stopped listening to it obsessively. It’s the perfect combo of poppy, sad and produced by Jack Antonoff for my tastes. ."  

    The Thing: Tolkien Deep Dives Submitted by: Angela Workoff Why It's Great: "I've loved Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings films dearly since they came out, but was a dilettante for the written work, only having spottily read LOTR and The Hobbit in grade school. Last year, I finally read LOTR straight through, The Silmarillion (with a certain editor of certain Sincere Positive publications), and the Hobbit, listening to a lecture series by Corey Olsen, a medievalist known to y'all as the Tolkien Professor, throughout these three reads. I can talk your ear off about Tolkien after all this (and stop me, because Rings of Power was also great, not to mention the usual PJ LOTR extended version rewatches), but better than that was the joy of doing an obsessive deep dive, the kind you might as a nerdy kid, to scratch at trying to know everything about a thing you love. Also Andor. Just, full stop, Andor. "

Welcome to 2023, everybody. Let's make it a good one.

[ramseyesscom]

One Hundred and Forty-Nine

Subscribe, if you want!

The Thing: Marvel's She-Hulk & Werewolf By Night Submitted by: Jonolobster Why It's Great: "2022 was the year it finally happened. I got MCU fatigue. It's not the dire medical condition it sounds like, I simply got a bit bored with the output of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But then, just when I thought of tapping out, in true cinematic fashion, they pulled me back in. Not through movies, but through a sitcom and a "special presentation." I can't explain why, but Jennifer Walters and Ted Sallis, along with their green alter-egos, are two of my favorite characters from the comics. Finally seeing them in live-action form, and very faithfully at that, was enough to respark the joy in making mine Marvel. Bonus: the new "Gargoyles" comic from Dynamite.

The Thing: Paramore "This is Why" Submitted by: TartTooth Why It's Great: "I can't stop listening to it."  

The Thing: The 1975 Being Funny In A Foreign Language Submitted by: Heather Hynes Why It's Great: "This album came out in the fall and I still have not stopped listening to it obsessively. It’s the perfect combo of poppy, sad and produced by Jack Antonoff for my tastes. ."  

    The Thing: Tolkien Deep Dives Submitted by: Angela Workoff Why It's Great: "I've loved Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings films dearly since they came out, but was a dilettante for the written work, only having spottily read LOTR and The Hobbit in grade school. Last year, I finally read LOTR straight through, The Silmarillion (with a certain editor of certain Sincere Positive publications), and the Hobbit, listening to a lecture series by Corey Olsen, a medievalist known to y'all as the Tolkien Professor, throughout these three reads. I can talk your ear off about Tolkien after all this (and stop me, because Rings of Power was also great, not to mention the usual PJ LOTR extended version rewatches), but better than that was the joy of doing an obsessive deep dive, the kind you might as a nerdy kid, to scratch at trying to know everything about a thing you love. Also Andor. Just, full stop, Andor. "

Welcome to 2023, everybody. Let's make it a good one.

[urbanventures]

Volunteer Spotlight: Why Heather works at the Urban Ventures Farm

Volunteers are a key part of many programs at Urban Ventures. The more often a volunteer shows up the bigger an impact is made, both in Urban Ventures neighborhood and in the life of the volunteer.

We recently chatted with Heather, who is preparing for her 8th growing season as a volunteer at the Urban Ventures farm, to hear more about her volunteering experience.

How did you first get connected with Urban Ventures?

I Googled for urban gardening volunteering, and Urban Ventures came up!

What motivated you to volunteer?

I worked part time at an organic CSA farm in Virginia while I was in college at Virginia Tech. I had no prior experience growing vegetables, farming, or any form of working with land before that experience. I absolutely fell in love with the work and the joy of watching the hard work turn into a harvest! When I moved to Minnesota, I was dying for an opportunity to continue to engage my passion for manual labor and gardening. My job is mainly a desk job, and I can't sit still, so volunteering at Urban Ventures has been a major outlet for me to be outside, working with my hands, and give back/engage in a community that I live in!

What kinds of things do you do as a volunteer?

Spring crop planning, create seedling trays, help manage volunteers and work with interns, plant, cultivate, and harvest vegetables, manage compost bins, help with school field trips.

What do you find rewarding about volunteering at the farm?

Most days at Urban Ventures, I work on my own, managing the gardens. My day-to-day motivation to volunteer is to be outside and active, so generally, every day I volunteer is well worth it! But then I'll have experiences when I get to teach another volunteer, intern, or community member about how a certain plant, or a cultivation technique, or about how composting works, etc. and I realize I find a lot of joy in teaching! I also love the times when I am working with only one other volunteer or intern and I get to ask questions and hear more about their story. I am always curious to learn about a new person -- their experiences, what they're passionate about, what makes them unique, what hardships they've faced, etc. -- sometimes I wonder if I'm too nosey 😊

But when a relationship grows or a connection is made, I go home feeling purposeful in my time at UV and that my presence matters and volunteering makes a difference. When Mark-Peter shares about how many people are fed and how many kids come for field trips, I just feel so honored to be a part of that!

Has volunteering changed/impacted your perspective about our city or neighborhood?

I have seen a lot of the ugly:  the encampments along the greenway, many people who are clearly not thriving, drug deals, abandoned vehicles, etc. But I have also seen a lot of the good: curious people stopping along the greenway to ask questions, community members expressing gratitude for the abundant organic healthy food, community kids learning about gardening and gawking at the chickens, and volunteers coming consistently from all parts of town and walks of life. I have learned that our city is incredibly complex and diverse! Sometimes you don't see that if you stay in certain pockets of the city.

Weekly volunteering is a big commitment, what keeps you coming back?

Positive feedback and gratitude from the UV staff (especially working with Julia - who I've come to really admire and respect! The joy of working outside with my hands and seeing new growth every spring lead to an abundant harvest of vegetables! Knowing that the work makes a real difference in people's lives.

I just love the work! I can't explain it. I honestly am just so thankful to have this opportunity. I feel like I've found this hidden gem of a place - I often wonder, "why aren't more people doing this!? How did I land such an amazing relationship with UV!?"

Have you seen growth/progress in yourself in your time volunteering?

To be honest, I love love love being active and getting things done -- so I think my initial motivation 7 years ago was to just get out of the office, work with my hands, and feel like I accomplished a lot. Over the years, I have learned to slow down a lot and appreciate the relationships and truly understand why I was doing the work I so enjoyed.

And I found that the work became that much more enjoyable as I started to build relationships with the staff, volunteers, interns, kids, and community members. Don't get me wrong, I have also learned a LOT about organic gardening! And continue to learn every season how to improve the operations and grow our yield, but also to ensure we are meeting the UV goal of educating and empowering the community. It's been an incredible journey to be a part of! I love UV! I love what they do and am honored to be part of the team!

---

For more information about volunteering with Urban Ventures, please visit our volunteer page. 

#urban ventures #urban farming #farming #volunteers #city farm #stories

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

Convalescence

That Which Binds You VII

Pairing: Stark!Peter x Blackcat!Reader

A/N: Hey guys, as always feedback is greatly appreciated! My ask box is always open, love you guys xx

Summary: Peter plays nurse while you heal from your concussion

Taglist

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

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You were woken up by the sound of MJ rustling through her dresser. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, your body was trying its damndest to keep you in bed.

“What time is it?” you yawned and forced yourself to sit up.

MJ peaked over her shoulder with a frown, “8, sorry I woke you.”

“I’m a light sleeper, everything wakes me up,” you rubbed your eyes lazily, “Have you seen my phone?”

“Doctor said no screens,” MJ scolded, “You should probably try and get some more sleep too.”

“But I need to call my work, and Heather.”

“Well Peter should be here any minute, I’m sure he’ll be happy to help.”

“Peter,” you fell back onto your pillow with a sigh, “He doesn’t need to babysit me, I’m sure Heather can come pick me up or something.”

“You and Peter can figure that out,” MJ flashed you a smile, “I’m gonna shower, stay off your phone okay?”

You nodded and let your eyes fall closed once more, “Okay, I'll get in after you, if I’m allowed.”

“Ha ha, but showers are actually good for concussions so I’d encourage it,” MJ bit back as she slipped into the bathroom.

You were just about to drift back to sleep when Peter started knocking at the door. Of course Peter had to be the one to stay with you. All day you’d be stuck staring at those puppy dog eyes and that gut wrenchingly cute smile. You shook your head and padded over to the door to let him in.

“O-Oh hi,” Peter blushed, “I didn’t realize you’d be up.”

“Barely,” you yawned, “Well come on in, MJ’s still getting ready.”

“No problem, I could order some food or something if you’re hungry…”

“I’m okay Peter, thank you though. I’m sorry you're missing school because of me.”

“Don’t worry about it, I volunteered after all,” he smiled while you rolled back into bed, “If you need anything at all you just let me know alright?”

The sentiment was sweet but you hated being taken care of. It was embarrassing, especially when Peter was the one taking care of you. The last thing you wanted was for him to think you were helpless.

“You really don’t have to stay Peter,” you insisted, “I’m sure I’ll be fine on my own.”

“The doctor said you need constant supervision,” he reminded, “It’s not a big deal, it’s only two days.”

“You don’t need to miss school though Peter, I could go stay with Heather or something,” you offered.

Peter blushed again, “(y/n) if you don’t want me to stay then I’m sure MJ can instead…”

“No, no Peter it’s not that,” you promised, hating to think that you’d upset him, “I just don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“You aren’t (y/n), I’m happy to be here for you,” he promised, “Don’t worry about me okay? Just focus on getting better.”

“Oh great, the babysitter’s here,” MJ smirked returned from the bathroom, “So you’ll want to make sure she goes down for her nap at noon, otherwise she gets really grumpy.”

You rolled your eyes as you reluctantly pushed yourself back out of bed, “Very funny, you should consider a career in stand up if engineering doesn’t work out.”

“Comedy is my second biggest passion,” MJ smiled at you as you entered the bathroom, “You can come heckle me at my first show.”

“Gladly,” you smiled smugly and pushed the bathroom door closed.

MJ laughed and turned to Peter, “Right on time huh?”

“I wanted to make sure she was alright,” he blushed, “How was she last night?”

“She was totally passed out until I got up. You worry too much Peter, she just needs to rest.”

“Do you think she’s okay with me staying?” he sighed, taking a seat at MJ’s desk, “She seemed a little weird about it.”

“I think she just doesn’t want to stay home in general, I’m sure it has nothing to do with you. You two get along great, you’ll have fun together.”

“I hope so,” he pouted.

“Don’t get down on yourself Peter, she loves hanging out with you,” MJ ruffled his hair, “It’s probably better you watch her anyway, you’ve got more experience with concussions than most people.”

“I mean I don’t really get concussions, but yeah, I know what to look out for.”

“You can impress her with all your medical knowledge, girls find that very sexy,” she teased.

He rolled his eyes, “Did she talk to you about what happened?”

MJ shook her head, “No, and I haven’t asked about it either. It still seems really weird to me that she came home alone though. And there’s no way she actually walked home, she could barely walk across our room.”

“Well concussions can mess with your memory, I’m sure last night she just wasn’t remembering it all correctly.”

“Yeah, maybe you can prod her on it a bit today?”

“I’ll try,” he promised, “I-I mean I’m sure she’s not in some kind of serious trouble or anything…”

“Most people don’t live double lives Peter, I’m pretty sure that only runs in your family,” MJ laughed and slung her backpack over her shoulder, “I’m gonna head out early so I can grab some coffee. Call me if you need anything alright?”

“I will, have fun.”

MJ knocked on the bathroom door before she left, “I’m heading to class, see you when I get home!”

“See you later!” you called back.

You never wanted to leave the shower, in your ideal world you would have spent all day in there. The hot water felt like heaven on your sore body. It felt good to scrub away the events of the previous night and try to forget all the things you’d been worried about. But of course you couldn’t hide in the shower forever, eventually you had to get out and face the day.

Leaving the shower gave you a chance to finally examine your body. Your skin was littered with bruises and cuts. The largest bruise sat on your ribs, courtesy of the one and only Spiderman. Anger bubbled up inside of you as you remembered what he’d done. You wouldn’t have been hurt at all if it weren’t for him.

“You better hope I don’t see you anytime soon Spider,” you mumbled to yourself, tracing the edges of the bruise, “Asshole.”

You wrapped yourself in a towel and peaked out of the bathroom door, “Hey Peter?”

His eyes darted right to you, his cheeks flushed at the sight of you, “W-What’s up?”

“I forgot my clothes, could you turn around for a minute?”

“Yeah of course,” he quickly spun to face the wall, “So, uh, how was the shower?”

“Really nice, the water felt great,” you dug through your drawer, pulling out the comfiest clothes you could find.

“Good,” his eyes danced over the pictures above MJ’s bed, “I looked up some stuff we can do while you’re healing. You still have to take it pretty easy, but you don’t have to be totally bored.”

“That was really sweet Peter,” you returned to the bathroom to make sure you looked presentable before you told him he could turn around again, “Okay, I’m dressed.”

His cheeks were still flushed when he turned around, “You look cute?”

You laughed, “Was that a question?”

“No, no, I just thought maybe that would help cheer you up,” he cringed as soon as the words left his mouth, “Not that you don’t actually look cute, you look how you always look, which is cute. I-I just wanted to tell you because I thought maybe it’d make you less upset about having to stay home if I told you that you looked cute, which you always do.”

The blush had spread up to his ears before he finished rambling. He looked cute, and his nervous smile made your heart flutter in your chest. He was always so sweet, he made it impossible for you not to be soft around him.

“Thank you Peter, that does make me feel a little better actually,” you flashed him a smile before sitting on the edge of your bed, “Okay, I’ve got to call Heather, and my boss, but MJ seemed pretty adamant about the no screen thing. So do you wanna give me a hand?”

He nodded, “Yeah, of course, I’m here to help with whatever you need,” he took your phone from your desk and sat beside you, “What’s your password?”

“It's my birthday.”

“Got it,” he’d opened her phone before you had the chance to tell him what your birthday was, “Heather first?”

“You know my birthday?” you frowned.

He nodded, “Yeah, you mentioned it last night when we were filling out all the paperwork.”

“Good memory. Yeah, call Heather first,” you tried to peek at the phone but the bright screen was enough to bring back the headache you’d had the night before, “Would you mind if we kept it pretty dark in here today?”

“No problem,” he assured, “Here,” he set the phone in your lap and moved to turn off the overhead lights, “Do you want me to close the blinds too?”

You nodded, “Yes please.”

The phone rang only twice before Heather picked up, “Hey, I’m just about to clock in, what’s up?”

“Hey, you’re on speaker by the way,” you began, praying that she just would play along with you, “Last night, after you dropped me off, my head started hurting really bad, and I started getting sick, so Peter and MJ took me to the ER and I have a pretty bad concussion.”

“Oh my God! Are you okay?!”

“Yes, I’m totally fine now. The doctor said it’s gonna take about two weeks to heal, but for the first two days I have to stay home with constant supervision,” you explained, “So I won’t be able to come to work.”

“Is someone with you?”

“Yeah, Peter is gonna stay with me,” you sighed and pinched your nose as your head pounded against your skull, “My headache’s starting to come back, do you think you could talk to Johnny for me?”

“Of course! I’ll let him know what’s going on, you just get some rest. I’ll come by after work and we can talk about what happened.”

You cringed, fearing she might make Peter suspicious, “What do you mean? I hit my head when I got into that fight.”

“Oh! Right! Duh,” Heather laughed awkwardly on the other end, “I just didn’t realize it was that bad…”

“Yeah, the symptoms didn’t really set in until after you dropped me off,” you pursed your lips, “Well I’m gonna go, I need to get some more sleep.”

“Okay, call me if anything changes.”

“Yeah, we will,” you hung up and tossed your phone to the other side of the bed.

“I thought you said you walked home last night,” Peter frowned.

“Heather dropped me off out front, then I walked up here, I didn’t really start feeling it until I got inside, I think it was the lights or something,” you tried to explain away the discrepancy in a believable way, “Sorry, things were really fuzzy last night, I’m remembering a little better now.”

“That’s okay,” he assured, “It’s just if you're having any kind of memory loss we’re supposed to take you back in, but if your memory is getting better then that’s a good sign.”

“It’s definitely getting better,” you promised, “Do you mind if I lay down again?”

“Of course not, I figured you’d want to sleep most of the day, I brought some stuff to work on,” he patted his backpack awkwardly, “I brought some Tylenol too if you need that.”

“You're a lifesaver Peter,” you groaned happily, “I would love some Tylenol.”

He laughed as he dug through his bag, “Of course, I’m here for whatever you need.”

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

When you woke up again you felt much more rested, your headache had faded and you didn’t feel nearly as sore. For a moment you were able to lay in bed peacefully and enjoy the silence of your bedroom, but then your stomach started to growl.

“What time is it?” you rolled over to face Peter.

He was seated at MJ’s desk with a textbook popped open, “Noon,” he spun around to face you, “How are you feeling?”

“Better, but hungry,” you glanced at your stomach as it continued to rumble.

“Okay, I can order something. What sounds good?”

“Uh, I don’t know, just a sandwich or something?”

His mouth curled to a smile, “Did you have somewhere in mind? I know a really good deli.”

“That sounds great.”

“Cool, I’ll order it now,” he began punching things into his phone as he spoke, “Do you think you’ll wanna sleep some more after that or do you wanna try and do something?”

“I really don’t wanna sleep anymore,” you sighed, “I’m guessing I can’t do anything fun though right?”

“W-Well it said art was okay, and some really simple games like go fish and stuff,” he peaked up at you, “What kind of sandwich do you want?”

“You can pick for me, but I do want a Coke too.”

Peter frowned, “You’re not supposed to have caffeine.”

“No caffeine?” you gaped, “Since when?”

“It’s on the note the doctor gave you. No stimulants.”

“Oh my god this is a death sentence,” you groaned, throwing a pillow over your face dramatically.

Peter laughed, “How about a Sprite? It’s caffeine free.”

“I’ll have to make do,” you sighed.

“I’ll skip caffeine too, in solidarity,” Peter promised, “Okay, the food will be here in a little bit. Do you want to try and do something while we wait?”

You nodded, “Yeah, I could kick your ass in go fish before we eat.”

Peter laughed, “Just give me a second to find my cards,” he dug through his backpack, “I figured you guys wouldn’t have any.”

“We definitely don't,” you scooted to the back of your bed and patted a spot beside you, “Come sit with me.”

Peter sat criss cross across from you and started dealing out cards. It was fun playing with him, he was sweet just like he always was, and patient when your turns took longer than necessary. He was attentive too, he didn’t bat an eye when you said you needed more Tylenol or water, he’d just hop off the bed and go get it for you. He was starting to make you like being taken care of.

You were halfway through your third round of go fish when Peter’s phone started to ring, “That’s the delivery guy,” he peeked down at his phone with a smile, “I’m gonna go grab the food alright?”

“No problem, I’ll clean up,” you began to gather up the cards as he stood up, “I was totally going to win though.”

Peter nodded in agreement, “Definitely.”

He returned with two sandwiches and a couple of drinks. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, unsure of where to put the food.

“We usually just eat on our beds,” you explained, “I mean there’s a dinning hall too, but I’d rather stay in here.”

“Fine by me,” Peter set your food down in front of you, “I hope you like it.”

“I’m so hungry I think anything would taste good right now,” you sighed happily as you took your first bite, “This is great. What did you say this place was called again?”

“I’m glad you like it,” he smiled brightly, “It’s Delmar’s, over in Queens.”

“That’s where MJ is from right?”

He nodded, “Yeah, my aunt too.”

“Queens is nice,” you hummed, “So is that your dad’s sister or something?”

Talking about family was always a bit awkward for you. You never had much to add to the conversation and you never knew what sort of questions you should ask. From what you could tell, family was really important to Peter, which made you want to know more about his.

“She’s my mom’s sister, I try to stay close with her family.”

“Divorce?”

He shook his head, “No, she passed away when I was little.”

You flushed, “I’m so sorry Peter.”

“It’s alright, I mean I still have aunt May, and my step mom Pepper has been around since I was pretty young,” he shrugged, “What are you parents like?” he blushed suddenly, “I-I mean I know you mentioned that Heather is your foster sister, but I don’t really know the whole situation. I, um, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

You laughed, “It’s okay Peter, you can ask about it, I don’t mind,” you assured him, “My parents passed away when I was a baby. I don’t really know anything about them, and I grew up bouncing between group homes and different foster families. I never got adopted out or anything, so I just kind of have Heather.”

“I’m so sorry,” Peter didn’t give you the same sympathetic look people usually did, it was much more genuine than that, “A-At least you're in college now though, you can meet all sorts of new people, and i-it could be like a found family,” he blushed, pulling bit bottom lip between his teeth before he continued, “I-I mean I know we aren’t that close yet, but I’m here for you and everything, and I know MJ is too.”

For a moment you imagine living in another lifetime. Peter would say something like that and you would lean across the bed and kiss him. It’d be like some cheesy rom com where a pretty boy would sweep in, break down your walls, and solve all your problems. But you knew that wasn’t your life. Your life was dangerous and you were bad luck. Peter was the opposite, fate had been working in his favor since the day he was born. You had some sort of strange, almost morbid, curiosity with him, perhaps because of how different his life was to yours.

Falling for anyone would have been a stupid move, but it would have been expectionally stupid to fall for Peter Stark. His father was the smartest man alive, the one and only Tony Stark, Ironman. Tony Stark was a much bigger adversary than Wilson Fisk. At least working for Fisk you had an out. If you ever got caught you had information, bargaining power. You could rat him out and earn yourself a decent plea deal if you needed to. If Tony Stark knew your secret you’d be powerless.

Normally you kept people at a distance because you were dangerous, but you had to keep Peter at a distance because he was dangerous. You should have continued to push him and MJ away, and you knew that. You should have been meaner to him so he wouldn’t want to keep hanging around you, but for some reason you just didn’t have it in you. He was like some kind of eternally warm sunshine, and you simply didn’t have it in you to drag yourself out of the light.

“Thank you Peter, that was so sweet I don’t really know what to say,” you gave in again, “I’m sorry, I’m not great at talking about stuff like this.”

“That’s alright, I’m not very good at it either,” he replied, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“I think you are,” you set a hand on his arm and squeezed his bicep, “Thank you for looking after me, and for taking me to the hospital yesterday.”

“I was happy to do it.”

You sat in silence for a minute, picking at your sandwiches while you tried to figure out what to say next. Finally you cleared your throat to speak again.

“You said that I could do art right?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, did you want to paint for a while?”

“Yeah, or I know some drawing games that might be fun,” you suggested.

“I don’t know how good I’ll be at drawing games, but I can try.”

“That’s alright, the games are more fun if the drawings are bad,” you smiled, “I’ll go get my sketchbook.”

“I’ll clean up,” Peter cleaned up the mess from lunch while you dug out some art supplies.

You tossed a pencil pouch and a large sketchbook onto your bed, “Okay, so this one is pretty simple but they usually come out pretty funny. So one of us starts drawing, but once you take the pen off the paper it's the other person's turn.”

“I think I can handle that,” he watched you flip open the sketchbook, the page you opened too was filled with random, half finished people, “Whoah, those are incredible.”

You flushed, “I was just working on some poses…”

“Could I see some more?” he asked curiously.

Your sketchbook was intimate, and you were weary of letting someone else go through it. But you knew you’d already promised Peter you’d let him look through it at some point. Showing him just a few pages couldn’t be so bad.

“Yeah, I could show you a few things,” you flipped through the pages to try and find something finished enough to show him. You settled on a picnic scene you’d drawn during a math lecture, “Here’s one.”

He studied the sketch you’d sat in his lap with the same watchful eyes that your art teachers always did. They would study every little detail of the piece before they critiqued it, but Peter wasn’t interested in criticizing you, he was just in awe.

“I like the butterflies, they’re really cute,” he complimented.

“Thanks, I did that one during my math class,” you explained, “I probably should have been paying attention during the lecture, but he was dragging on and on about trigonometry or something, it was so boring.”

“Is that the story with chemistry too?” he teased.

“No, no, I really am just bad at chemistry,” you broke into laughter, “I can show you a few more if you want.”

“I’d love to see some more, but if I see an erlenmeyer flask in there I’m gonna know you’re lying.”

“Well jokes on you Peter, I don’t even know what that is,” you stuck out your tongue and flipped to another drawing.

Peter complimented everything you showed him. He took time to study every drawing and asked you questions about each piece. You were happy to answer him, you loved talking about your art. It wasn’t something you got to do often so you were really soaking up the attention. Eventually you moved onto some of your actual paintings, just small things you had done since the school year began. It was easy to get caught up with Peter, to lose yourself to conversation. Slowly showing him your art devolved into just talking. You two ended up chatting on your bed until MJ got home.

“Well look at you two,” she smiled, tossing her backpack onto the floor, “Are you feeling better?”

You nodded, “Much. I didn’t realize it was so late already,” you glanced at the time and frowned, “Oh shit, Heather’s probably going to be here soon.”

“Heather’s coming over?” MJ pursed her lips.

“Yeah, she said she was gonna come by after work, she should just be getting off in just a few so I’m sure she won’t be long.”

“Cool,” MJ dragged out the word as she looked over their room, “Peter are you gonna hang out for a little while still?”

“If that’s okay with you guys,” he looked between you two, “I at least wanted to copy your notes from the psychics lecture.”

“No problem, stay as long as you need,” MJ dug through her bag and handed him a spiral notebook, “Unless (y/n)’s getting sick of you.”

You giggled, “Nah, I’m not sick of him, He’s been taking great care of me, I’ve hardly had to lift a finger.”

“Peter’s a great nurse,” MJ agreed before taking a seat at her desk, “I’m gonna try and get some homework done before Heather gets here.”

“And I’m gonna work on copying this down if that’s alright with you,” Peter patted the notebook in his lap.

“Of course Peter, you can use my desk if you want,” you offered.

He blushed and nodded, “Thanks.”

They dove right into their work and you doodled in your sketchbook while they worked. Peter was seated at the desk at the end of your bed, his brows furrowed as he studied the notebook in front of him. You thought he looked cute, so you started sketching him. Being so pretty made him easy to draw, he probably would have made a good model for one of your paintings.

Someone started rapping at the door and MJ had jumped to her feet before they even finished knocking, “I got it!” your lips drew to a smirk as she opened the door, you could make out some of Heather’s hair behind her, “Oh hi Heather, (y/n) mentioned you were coming by, come on in.”

“Thanks, it’s good to see you again,” Heather held a large plastic bag in her hands. You recognized the logo on it right away, “Hey babe, I brought you some treats,” she cooed at you.

“You're an angel,” you grinned as she sat the bag in her lap.

“I know,” she beamed, “I thought it would cheer you up. I got enough for everyone.”

You nodded, “Peter, MJ, if you guys are hungry you should definitely have some, it’s like the best chinese food I’ve ever had.”

“Smells great,” MJ sat on her bed across from you guys, “That was really sweet of you Heather, thanks.”

“It’s the least I could do,” she insisted, “I really appreciate you guys looking out for (y/n), I know how stubborn she can be about that sort of thing.”

“I’m just glad we could be there for her.”

“Peter you should have some too,” you invited him over with a wave of your hand, “I know we ate a little bit ago, but this stuff is so good.”

He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll try some.”

MJ stole some paper plates and silverware from the dining hall so everyone could sample different meals. Heather fit right in with MJ and Peter, you were happy hanging out with all of them. In a way you were grateful for the concussion, it was forcing you to relax. And you didn't’ feel like you had to somehow justify hanging out with them because it was the only thing you were allowed to do.

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

The following morning you woke up at the time MJ and got right into the shower so you’d already be ready when Peter showed up. You felt much better than you had the day before. Some of the smaller injuries had faded and you weren’t nearly as sore or as tired. You were happy to see you were healing so well because you knew you’d need to get back to work right away. Fisk was anything but patient and he was expecting you to retrieve the map quickly. Luckily you weren’t expected back at the pizzeria until monday so you’d have the whole weekend to go out and search for it.

You tried not to dwell on Blackcat while you got dressed, you didn’t want to spend the whole day panicking. Fisk hadn’t contacted you yet so it was safe to assume you still had a few days before he got too angry. Besides, Peter was coming over, and you wanted to spend the day having fun with him, not worrying about Fisk.

“Bathrooms yours,” you called as you left the shower.

Peter was now seated on MJ’s desk, making small talk with her while they waited for you.

“Thanks,” MJ disappeared into the bathroom right away.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be hungry or not but I brought you a muffin, and some tea, it's caffeine free,” Peter offered you a coffee cup and a small pastry bag.

“Thanks,” you took them both and took a sip of the tea, “Yummy. So did you do anything fun last night?”

“I just helped my dad with some work stuff. What about you?”

“I passed out a little bit after you and Heather left and I stayed asleep until this morning. It was good though, I’m feeling a lot better today,” you leaned back on your desk, “You gonna do anything fun tonight?”

“Well it’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow and I’ve been putting off her gift so I’ll probably be shopping most of the night.”

“Ahh, exciting,” you purse your lips, trying not to seem too interested in the information, “What’s she doing for her birthday? I assume you guys rented out central park or something?”

He laughed, “No, no, it’s gonna be over at Stark Towers. It’ll just be some family and the other kids from her kindergarten class,,” he pushed a hand through his hair, “You’re probably just gonna spend the weekend resting right?”

“Well I don’t have to go to work again until Monday,” you explained, “But I’m sure I’ll want to get out of the house tomorrow, I’ll probably go out to the park and paint or something.”

“Just be careful alright? You’re still gonna be fully healed for a while.”

“I’ll take it easy, you don’t need to worry about me,” you began picking at the muffin he’d brought you, “I don’t think I’ll want to sleep as much today so maybe we could do some painting or something.”

“Sure, I’m up for whatever you wanna do,” he nodded, “I know we didn’t get around to that game you wanted to play yesterday…”

“Yeah, we could do that, and I remembered this thing we did in one of my art classes that was kind of fun,” you blushed lightly, “We would sit across from someone and we’d have an hour to paint each other the best we could. I thought it would be fun if we did something like that.”

“I definitely won’t be very good at that, but I’ll try my best,” he promised, “Is it weird having someone paint you? I mean since you’re usually the one doing the painting.”

You shook your head, “No, I think it’s flattering, I really like seeing how other people portray me.”

“I don’t know if mine will be flattering,” he laughed, “But I’ll try to make it not totally awful.”

You smiled back, “I’m sure I’ll like it either way.”

You leaned on your desk, pecking at the muffin he’d brought until MJ left the shower. She quickly gathered her things and wished you both a good day before she left for school. You were eager to start painting so you started gathering your art supplies right away. Painting had always been relaxing to you, and it was a good way for you to pass the time. Peter helped you dig out all your supplies and lay them on the floor, various paints, brushes, and a few palettes. Finally you grabbed two small canvases and took a seat on the floor across from Peter.

“I-I don’t really know much about painting,” Peter blushed as you set the small canvas in front of him, “I mean sometimes I do watercolors with Morgan, but I’ve never used acrylics.”

“It’s easy Peter, I already primed these a few days ago so they’re ready to go. You can put the different colors you want to use on the palette I gave you, and you can mix them on there too.”

“Okay…” he watched closely as you began mixing colors on your palette, “What should I paint first?”

“Whatever you want Peter, it’s art, there’s no rules,” you giggled, “Do you want me to  give you a quick lesson before we start?”

He nodded, “Yes please.”

“Alright, well in general you want to start with your mid tone colors, then you add in the darker colors, and then at the end you do highlights. Start by painting big shapes and then slowly work in the details. Acrylics dry really fast so you always have to mix on your palette. If you want to paint the whole canvas a certain color you should do that first.”

“Okay, thank you,” he took a deep breath, “Maybe I should do the background blue?”

You laughed again, “Peter it’s your painting, I can’t tell you what colors to use.”

“I know but it’s of you,” he exaggerated the last word, “I don’t want you to hate it or something.”

“Peter it’s just for fun, I’m not expecting the Mona Lisa or something.”

“I know,” he groaned, “But mine's gonna look so shitty next to yours.”

“Well duh, I’ve had years and years of practice. If we were trying to build robots or something you’d totally school me.”

His cheeks flushed and he let out a deep breath, “Okay, okay, I got this.”

“You do,” you encouraged, “I’m gonna start the timer okay?”

“Let’s do this.”

You painted the same scene you’d sketched the day before of Peter seated at your desk. He asked you for help with blending some of the colors but he seemed to be handling the actual painting aspect pretty well. You tried not to peak up at his work, wanting to be surprised by the final product.  You found that Peter was just as easy to paint as he was to draw. Very quickly you got wrapped up in your work, taking way too much time to blend the perfect colors for his chocolatey hair and rosy cheeks. It was easy to forget that you only had an hour.

“(y/n)?” Peter drew your attention, just as you were finishing with the highlights in his hair.

“What’s up?” you peaked up at him for just a moment.

“I just wanted to let you know there’s ten minutes,” he informed you happily.

Your smile dropped, “Shit, I’ve still got a lot to do.”

His lips tugged to a smirk, “Well I’m about to finish.”

“Bite me,” you shot him a glare before turning back to your painting.

You got to work trying to quickly fill in the missing details. With only ten minutes there was no way you’d be able to polish the painting to the degree you would have liked, but you were certainly going to try. Peter stopped painting with three minutes left, and then spent the last three minutes taunting you about how little time was left.

“Ten seconds,” Peter sang.

“Come on…” you drew your bottom lip between your teeth as you dotted a highlight onto the tip of his nose.

“Time,” Peter flicked the timer off and you dropped your brush.

“I guess that’s good enough,” you sighed, “Are you ready?”

He nodded, “Yep.”

You turned your paintings over to each other, you picked his up to examine it. He had drawn you seated on your bed in a very simple pose with a big smile on your face. It was surprisingly well done, and he’d done much better at matching your hair and skin color than you had thought he would. He seemed to have a surprisingly good grasp on anatomy too, you assumed that came from helping his dad with the super suits. It was far from perfect, but you could tell he’d really tried.

“Peter this is super cute,” you complimented, “Honestly you did way better than I thought you would.”

“Thanks,” he flushed, “Yours is incredible. I’ve never looked so good.”

“Yes you have, that’s what you always look like Peter,” you rolled your eyes.

“I just don’t understand how you do all the shadows and stuff,” he picked the painting up so he could get a closer look.

“You can keep it if you want,” your cheeks started to warm as he studied the painting.

“I’d love that!” he smiled brightly, “Y-You could keep yours too if you wanted.”

“I’m gonna put it on my desk,” you winked and stood up, placing his painting beside some other small ones you’d been working on.

“Next to your paintings?” he grinned as he started placing the caps on your open paints, “Wow, I’m honored.”

“I told you, it’s flattering,” you moved to help him clean up, “And it’ll help me remember how fun it was hanging out with you.”

He froze, his whole face turned red as he started to speak again, “T-Thanks, I’m glad you’ve been having fun. I-I really like spending time with you.”

“Me too.”

It was quiet for a second, you just stared at each other. Even after spending an hour doing nothing but stare at him you weren’t sick of the sight, not even close. In fact you probably would have stared at him for many more hours if he hadn’t cleared his throat, breaking whatever strange trance you’d both fallen under.

“Uh,” he picked up both of your used palettes, “These need to be washed right?”

You nodded, “Yeah.”

“Alright,” he gave a lopsided grin as he stood up, “I’ll be right back.”

All you could do was watch as he disappeared into your bathroom. Peter always looked so handsome, no matter what he was doing. How you could ever deny that, or the obvious attraction you felt to him, you didn’t know. It didn’t mean you could ever act on it, because of course you couldn’t, but you could at least admit it to yourself. You still had to bury that piece of you, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there.

“Peter?”

His head peaked out of the bathroom, “Yeah?”

Your mouth opened but then quickly snapped shut. You licked your lips before you finally spoke, “The paintbrushes need to be washed too.”

“Oh okay,” he flashed you that big smile, the one you adored more and more every time you saw it, “I’ll come grab them in just a second.”

“Thanks.”

next chapter

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[guqin-and-flute]

[I am once again giving you an unrelated fanfic. Have some Modern married Xiyao.

Potential CW: poor anger coping skills?, very brief mention of suicidal ideation in internal dialogue. It's an errant thought and he doesn't actually mean it]

Jin Guangyao is upset. What's more upsetting is that he doesn't know why he's upset--this lack of information rankles him more than the feeling. He's used to feeling badly. That's how life is. But without a name, there is nowhere to file it away neatly. It is easier to ignore the sharp sting of a newly noticed cut than this fucking awful malaise that has apparently decided to settle over him with no rhyme or reason like he's some stupid idiot in an artsy French film, slowly choking down filtered cigarettes on some rusty balcony against a sunset or something.

That's not what he does. He is efficient. He is useful. And when he is like this, he is not.

And he still doesn't know why. And the fact that he cannot categorize and escape this has the ennui sliding slowly into a slow boil of tooth grinding fury.

Had it been the morning traffic? The fact that the library had emailed to inform him of a delay on his inter-library loan? The fact that his overpriced coffee was just a tiny bit burnt? The fact that Zixuan had taken a sick day today and so had not brought the soup his wife had promised Jin Guangyao for lunch? It shouldn't be, because these are all so horrifyingly trivial.

He has a tension headache beginning to string itself along his temples. He hates that the receptionist has a perky goodbye ready. He hates that the sun is shining so brightly. Then, he hates that the shadows of the clouds when they pass make things look grungy and dull. He hates that there is a flap of leather from his steering wheel that has peeled up in the back from his picking and he can feel it rubbing against his index finger as he stares, white knuckled and unblinking into the brake lights ahead of him as this bubbling pique crescendos as slowly as one of Xichen's beloved classical music pieces.

In fact, one is playing on the radio, softly, just within hearing range. The quiet, shrill edge of violins makes him want to kill something. Maybe himself. There's a bridge coming up in half a mile. He, very sanely, presses the button on the dash that turns it off instead of doing any of those things. The thought of Xichen has a voice of reason suggesting that he might meditate, while trapped here, 10 minutes from home.

Instead, he jabs a button on his fancy, stupid steering wheel with this thumb. An attentive computer noise beeps. The sudden noise in the relative silence of the car makes him dig his nails into the leather. "Text A-Huan," he snaps.

"Okay! What would you like the message to be?"

Jin Guangyao is going to find whoever programmed this faux-friendly robot voice and make them watch him drown their entire family in a toilet. "I. Hate. Everything."

Beep. "Okay! Your message reads; 'I hate everything'. Send?"

"Yes, send," he seethes before it can fully finish.

There is no plan to this. None at all. He just needs something real to sink his metaphorical teeth into. A reasonable anchor to reality to tell him whether or not he's being stupid and terrible for no reason at all.

Even though he already knows that he is.

The response returns in 43 seconds. Jin Guangyao had been counting. The cheery beep sounds just as the very stale green light turns yellow ahead. He presses the gas. "One message from A-Huan."

The light blinks red while he is only 1/4th of the way through the intersection. The lead car of the adjacent left turners beeps and he bares his teeth at her because he isn't fucking invisible, he's in a high profile gold Lexus and she had definitely seen him fucking coming. He stabs the button that makes the car read him the message.

"'Oh no. Bad day? Want to call? Blue heart emoji'," the female robot voice chirps in a butchery of his husbands words and no, no, he does not, because, at this point, it would simply be a minute long sustained scream of rage over literally nothing at all. He should have kept it to himself and found a quiet place to throw rocks at a wall or something until he wasn't such a repellant time bomb.

He does not reply because if he hears that robot voice again, he's going to commit vehicular homicide. And being arrested would not calm him down.

Finally, traffic parts and he pulls into his driveway--he notices how the bush on the side of the house's branches are creeping up to scrape the window of the kitchen and makes a mental note to send a curt text to the landscaper about his pruning habits. Why are they paying him several hundred dollars a month to let a stupid bush get unruly enough to damage the paint on his window trim?

When he slams his door shut, he hears a loud CLACK that announces that he has just closed his seatbelt in the door and lost the last tenuous thread of his temper. Heaving the door back, he plants his other hand up on the black plastic next to the window and smashes it shut again with all of his strength. Repeatedly. CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK--Chunk.

Breath hissing between his teeth, he jerks his suit jacket straight, loosens his tie and stalks to the house. The garage door groans to life behind him. Xichen had been watching.

Perfect.

He's nowhere to be seen when Jin Guangyao slams through the backdoor like a vicious thundercloud, which is good and probably intentional, because it allows him to wrestle off his shoes, jacket, and tie in privacy. This does nothing to release any pressure, because it must be intentional wrestling--controlled and confined so he doesn't pop off a button or rip a seam or scuff the shining black leather. Now he's seething in their immaculate, state of the art kitchen, hating how the cold tile feels against his black dress socks and the fact that it smells like tea. Which is stupid. Because he likes tea. But not right now.

Stop being a piece of shit, he snarls at himself. You've already probably fucked up the car and Xichen doesn't deserve this. He balls up his fists so tightly that the bright pain from his nails sinking into his palms leaks up his arms. Be better.

He has no idea how to do that because he has no idea what is wrong.

Reason says to steer clear of Xichen until he can get a hold of himself and behave like a fucking adult. And in the early days of their relationship, he would have. He had. Whenever he got like this, he would shut down or not have inflicted himself on Xichen at all with a smooth lie, and no amount of prying would get anything useful out of him because he would not be a bother. There had been Talks. Long, extensive Talks about trust and love and wanting to take care of him. He had even believed some of them. That's how they can be married, now, years later--Xichen knowing just how close he is to this at all times. How thin his veneer of manners and pleasantries actually is. (He can't truly know, though, can he. If he knew how much none of it makes sense, there is no possible way someone as kind and intelligent as him would choose to stay.)

Xichen would purse his lips if he said this out loud; somewhere between exasperation and sad fondness. Jin Guangyao doesn't tell him, anymore. Most of the time because he doesn't actually think this.

This is not most of the time.

Yes, reason says that he should suck it up and become a human being before burdening Xichen.

But his husband has long, cool hands and soft eyes and a brilliant mind that can solve any problem just by holding it and maybe he just wants to be small and angry and ugly and pathetic and selfish in the comfort of his own home while someone reminds him that there have been, in fact, good things that have happened in his life and he had been, at one time, happy--believe it or not.

And if nothing else, it compounds his streak of bad decisions.

The smell of tea intensifies when he reaches their room. The curtains are drawn. It renders the deep, dusty blues of the bed spread and the armchair black and the aged gold accent pieces muted, except for where the warm light pouring from their open bathroom door paints them bright again. Xichen sits on the edge of their bed in the soft, expensive loungewear Jin Guangyao got him for his birthday last year, one ankle on his knee, watching him with eyes just as soft as he had been expecting. A mug of tea is tucked into his hand and a plate with round, lumpy shapes sits by his hip. Beside that lays spread out the absurdly oversized and absurdly soft heather gray shirt that Nie Huaisang had gifted to him as a joke but was, in fact, one of Jin Guangyao's guilty pleasure sleep shirts.

With his perfect voice and his perfect logic and his perfect way of being the only good thing on this entire, worthless planet, his husband says, "I think you need to scream into this pillow."

'This pillow' is, in fact, one of theirs, dark blue with a thread count that was higher than any savings he ever had in college, perched on a bundle of blankets that is the perfect size to throw himself upon like a sulking romance heroine. He hates it. Hates that this is known, that this might help.

So he fucking does it. He deliberately stalks around the bed, climbs up, smashes his face into the pillow and screams as loudly as he can. With every single ounce of rage in his body, curling him up like the shriveling of a raisin in fast forward, like the curling of a scorpion tail, like throwing up, wringing every last scant molecule of oxygen out of his lungs.

When the sound peters out and he has to drag in another breath, he curls tighter, the claws of his hands reaching over the top of the pillow to fist in his hair. It presses the plush of it firmer over his face and bites it until his teeth ring with dull pain, and his jaw aches and his head throbs and his eyes sting. His scalp burns from the pull on his hair and his throat is raw and tight.

Tearing himself away, finally, he gasps in a gulp of cooler air. Xichen has turned so he is now cross-legged at the foot of the bed, watching him with a mix of calm and understanding sympathy. "Lay down?"

There is a ragged, hollow hole in him that still has scraps of rage clinging to it like disgusting lichen--but the visceral, all consuming hate seems to have been absorbed by his pillow. So he lets himself roll sideways, eyes closing. Xichen gets off the bed--Jin Guangyao assumes, wearily, that he's putting down the tea mug and hopes that he uses a coaster--and then returns by knee walking up the bed to his side. Then, those cool hands he had been hoping for pick open the tiny hard buttons of his shirt. Each pop releases a a tension across his skin and he feels that he can breathe easier with every one.

Jin Guangyao can hear him breathing, slow and measured, through his nose and thinks that it's probably the most comforting sound that he's ever heard in his entire life--now that he's willing to be comforted. Able to be. The reminder of Xichen's continued existence is the only sound he will ever need to be calm again.

The button up is abandoned in favor of undoing his belt--breath, more of it, infiltrating him deeper and deeper--popping the button on his slacks, tugging them down his legs in a warm slide. The quiet clink of it being tossed somewhere. A closing quiet as Xichen leans in and presses his smooth lips to his forehead. Then the corner of his eyebrow. Then the bridge of his nose. Different points and planes of his face like he is unlocking a combination that will open him up and allow him to purge the rest of the awfulness that lingers.

What it mostly is is exhaustion, now. "A-Huan," he groans--whines. Ugh.

Before disgust at himself can settle in, his husband takes this as the invitation for what it is and kisses his mouth, gentle and slow. Jin Guangyao moves his mouth back, halfheartedly, mostly parting his lips to allow him access to do whatever. But all he does is kiss him chastely. Lovingly. He tastes like green tea. Then, Xichen murmurs against his lips, "Would you like a bath?"

He vents a negating grunt, lolling his head back and forth. Baths are so much work. Even when Xichen offered to wash his hair or read to him or even join him, you still had to keep it hot, you had to endure cold when you left, get yourself dry. Too much change, too much sensation and movement.

He should be shaking himself awake. He should be apologizing for his terrible, pointless mood. He should be trying to kiss him back, love him back, pay him back. Thank him.

Xichen merely lifts his hands and presses the heels of his palms into the hinges at Jin Guangyao's jaw, inexorably grinding the tension out of them. Jin Guangyao allows himself to melt. When those cool fingertips slide into his hair, he lets them tug him upright, so Xichen can slide off his button up and slip him out of his undershirt. He shivers against the chill of the bedroom air, but he doesn't feel a surge of utter hatred for the sensations so, well, that's something. In no time, Xichen has coaxed him into the oversized shirt, removed his socks and bundled him up against the padded headboard, tucked into Xichen's side.

Jin Guangyao allows this. He allows himself to allow the blanket to be tugged up over his bare legs, Xichen to tuck the warm mug of steaming mint tea into his hands, and wind his fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep, shuddering breath before sighing it all out. Xichen's fingers rub soothing circles across his sore scalp.

"Open?"

He cracks one eye to see a cookie hovering at mouth level. It's too dim in the room to properly tell what kind it is, but because Xichen has been perfect in literally every other way, he simply obeys and bites down. Browned butter and sea salt and semi-sweet chocolate ooze across his tongue and the instant spike of sugar satisfaction warms his chest. Jin Guangyao chews with utter contentment, swallows, and opens his mouth again.

"Good?" Xichen's amused voice vibrates warmly through his chest as he indulgently feeds him another bite.

"Mm. Very. Did you make them?"

"I did, earlier today. I just got lucky with the timing." His nails scrape oh so gently across his scalp. "How are you doing?"

Instead of answering, Jin Guangyao blinks up at him and his sweet, kind, ridiculously gorgeous face that is graced by a light smile and a gold edge light from the bathroom.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Being terrible."

"You're never terrible."

"I was today. I think I fucked up the car."

Xichen chuckles, smile crimping to a knowing press. "I saw. It won't be a big deal. We'll deal with it later."

"...Thank you."

"Of course, A-Yao. Do you still hate everything?"

"Mm-nn." He snuggles down deeper against his ribs, looping an arm around Xichen's warm waist. He has the best husband in his arms, his dark-sweet scent is in his nose, chocolate on his tongue, and 1000 count sheets against his skin.

What is there to hate?

#I was in an exceptionally bad mood #so therefore I projected it onto JGY and made Xichen make it better #because that's what writers DO #There is no plot at all except my own journey of being in a better mood. I am now. But it is also 4:20 am. Oh well. You do what you can. #my stuff #my fic #xiyao #lxc #jgy #text #xiyao fanfic #completely unedited because that's how it goes #it's an errant thought and he doesn't mean it #brief suicide mention