I just finished reading Just lovers (like we were supposed to be) for the first time, and this scene of Remus comforting Sirius was just my favorite. Sirius, who always felt too scared of being just like his family, of not being purehearted, which was always way more important to him than being pureblooded. Remus is so good with words. This is exactly what he needed to hear, because it's true.
"Sirius," Remus says gently, "we've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on; that's who we really are. I've never known someone who tries as hard to act on the light as you. That's who you are."
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can’t force myself to start a new fic, so of course i reread “call me by my name” again. it’s wasn’t until i finished just lovers that i realized it was the same author. but i want to provide my own thoughts on this fic.
to preface, i use they/she/he (no particular hierarchy to which are used more)
1. i love that a deadname is never used. ever.
2. regulus is not treated as a girl pretending to be a guy or a girl wanting to be a guy. he’s just a guy that i keep forgetting is pre transition in everything. the author treats him as regulus, the guy we’ve always known and loved; regulus who is trans and isn’t treated as a woman at all.
3. genderqueer sirius black please marry me. or let me be you. i don’t know if i want to be him or be with him. genuinely. he’s so feminine in a masculine way and oh my GOD i want that. gender envy in the finest aspect. and as a gender-fluid person, i felt so comforted and seen when sirius discussed his experience.
(i’m continuing to use he/him for sirius because he talked about in the fic how he doesn’t need others to use different pronouns and overall “doesn’t give a toss” what people use for him, because he simply doesn’t care. which is how it is for myself about 50% of the time.
and, regulus continues to use he/him for sirius, and if the author wanted us to use more pronouns for sirius, i think they would have snuck she or they in there.)
4. regulus, a grown adult in this fic uses the words trans MAN for himself. he’s a trans man. he doesn’t describe himself as a trans boy or a trans guy. he’s a grown adult who describes himself as a trans MAN and that’s extremely important to me. he’s a man. not a guy or a boy; but a man like all the other men around him.
5. the part i most wanted to talk about:
i have never in my life read smut that has actually got me off. it might be the demisexual in me, but smut doesn’t do shit for me. i don’t choose to read it ever. but in this fic, i read a sex scene so realistic and tangible that i determined all smut fics need to read this one first to do it right.
the sex was so gender affirming for both regulus and myself. and i think that’s why it did it for me. regulus got off on james literally saying his fucking chosen name, and being considered a man or a dude during sex. like, that shit was so personal.
james literally said that regulus never got off like that before. like, ever. regulus clearly enjoyed that the most he’s ever enjoyed it. just from the way james is so kind to him and adapting about his gender.
i want someone to get me off like that with gender affirming sex
6. james is hot. sirius is hot.
thank you
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i’m trying to mentally prepare myself to read another marauders fic like i had previously planned.
HOWEVER
i am so emotionally devastated from the ending of just lovers that i don’t think i’ll ever recover.
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