#[ the entire time you’re in the temple she’s jealous she isn’t asked to be a Bhaalist ]

[spiderwarden]

To Bhaal Resisting Dark Urges, imagine for a moment after they have risen form the temple fiasco they hear a ruckus behind them. Imagine the blessing has been moved to someone more willing and grateful for the gift of murder. Just imagine for a second-

Bhaalspawn Minthara

| source image |

#[ battle music starts ] #[ 🕷️ ] —— musings #[ I don’t even know if this in canonically possible but ] #[ the entire time you’re in the temple she’s jealous she isn’t asked to be a Bhaalist ]

[sparkly-scales]

Loviatar's Blessing Tav x Astarion BG3

Loviatars Blessing

ObsidianRose96

Summary:

“Astarion? What are you doing here?” “Basking in the aftermath of your questionable decisions. You naughty, naughty, girl.” He growls. “Gods, I can still smell it on you. That sweet, musky scent paired with the smell of your blood is absolutely…intoxicating. I can’t seem to resist it.” “What are you going on about?” You ask. “Oh, don’t play coy with me, darling. I heard you back there. Hells, everyone did. But unlike everyone else I could also smell you. One of the few perks of being a vampire spawn. The scent of your arousal was ever present as you were willingly being beaten. It still is. Odd, I didn’t take you for a masochist. It seems I learn something new about you every day.” The fic in which Tav discovers something about herself.

Notes:

Hey guys, sorry for the re-upload, I just didn't feel like it was complete. I went back and added some things as well as fixed a few mistakes I caught. Anyways, this is my second attempt at a smutty one-shot between Tav and Astarion. Don't fret my Gale lovers, I have something spicy coming out here soon that focuses on our favorite Wizard of Waterdeep. As a side note I'd like to add that your reactions to my last fic, Jealous Much, really inspired me to keep writing. I've been in such a low spot recently that I thought I had lost my touch. When I saw all the Kudo's it made me want to keep going and I really appreciate that. As always, thank you for choosing to read my fic. You could have (and probably should have) chosen to read something else, but you chose to read this dumpster fire and I am eternally grateful for your support. Without further Adieu, I present to you Loviatars Blessing.

Work Text:

This wasn’t a position you had ever expected to find yourself in. Especially while you were trying to infiltrate a goblin infested temple. Your bare chest is pressed up against an unforgivingly cool wall as your companions stand back, some are horrified at what’s about to go down and some hold their breaths in anticipation, eager to watch. Why you had agreed to this, you weren’t entirely sure. Perhaps it was the powerful blessing that was promised that swayed you. Or maybe it was the incredibly sexy priest of Loviatar, with his scantily clad sculpted body and infectious enthusiasm for his goddess. Either way, you were about to experience something completely new.

“Let Loviatar hear your dear one!” Shouts the priest. You hear a loud crack before you feel a sharp, stinging, pain spread across your back. You’re not sure what he’s using to beat you with, but it does the job, causing you to yelp in pain.

“Yes child! Sing your praises to Loviatar with your screams! Show her that you are worthy of her blessing!”

Another cracking sound and the stinging sensation returns. You feel hot, wet, tears streaming down your cheeks as the pain intensifies with the second strike. You also feel yourself getting wet somewhere else.

What in the hells? Were you…were you into this? Surely not...

Another strike and you scream yet again, louder this time.

“Gods, who knew she had so much blood.” You hear Astarion say.

"Will you please stop licking your lips? It's making me rather uncomfortable.” Says Gale, chastising the vampire spawn.

If you were bleeding, you couldn’t feel it.

“One more time! Come on, let the pain set you free!” Shouts the priest. This is his hardest strike yet and you’re horrified. Not because of the pain but because you didn’t scream. No, instead you let out a loud moan. There’s a lingering silence in the room as you slowly turn to face the priest and your companions. Your cheeks flush as you scan their faces. Poor Gale looks just as horrified as you do. Shadowheart is trying her best not to laugh, holding a hand in front of her mouth to try and conceal her amused grin. And Astarion looks…hungry, as if he wants to eat you alive. Which isn’t all that surprising since you were apparently bleeding.

“That was a rather…interesting reaction.” Says the Priest. “Well done my sweet child. You bore the pain like a true believer. And from what I can tell, you enjoyed the experience just as much as I did. I am proud to have served you this penance. You've certainly earned our goddess's blessing. Please, feel free to visit me again if you’d like to bask in her glory once more.”

“T-thank you.” You say. You go to put on your armor but let out a pained hiss as its leather touches your fresh wounds. Now that your adrenaline has worn off the pain is much more intense.

“Where did my shirt go? I’m gonna have to ditch my armor for now. Does anyone have an extra healing potion?”

“I don’t think we brought any.” Says Shadowheart. “But I may be able to cast a healing spell. Let me see.”

You turn your back to her. “Good gods!” She exclaims as she gets a better look at the wounds. You wince when she touches a particularly tender spot. “Is it bad?”

“It’s not great.” Says Gale. “We should head back to camp. I think it’s best that we do not proceed until you’re healed up.”

“Head back? But we just got here!” You groan.

“I’m going to have to agree with the wizard. You’re going to be useless until this is healed.” Says Shadowheart. “You can’t just waltz around picking fights without your armor. They’ll make you a pin cushion.”

“Gee, thanks. Wait, weren’t you going to heal me?” You ask, looking up at the cleric.

“My spells alone aren’t enough to fix this.” Says Shadowheart. “You’re going to need potions and salves as well as something to prevent infection. That flog did a number on you. I’ll cast something to ease the pain for now but Gale’s right, we need to go back to camp.”

“Ughhh fine. Let’s go back then. The sooner I heal the sooner we can finish dealing with the goblins.”

The walk back to camp is agonizing as the pain from your wounds becomes more and more intense. Your blood is oozing through your shirt, staining the white colored fabric red. Astarions eyes are on you the entire way back. He’s trying to keep himself composed but he’s finding it difficult. Yes, the blood dripping down your back was enticing but there was something else emanating off of you that was driving him absolutely mad. Your arousal. You naughty, naughty girl. To him you seemed like the innocent type, a little vanilla babe that wouldn’t do more than what was necessary. But as he watched you being beaten, when he heard your unmistakable moan, when he could smell your lust, he quickly realized that there was more to you than he had previously thought. And he wanted to explore it.

“Go to your tent and take off your shirt. I’ll cast a simple healing spell for now and douse the wounds with a healing potion, but I’ll need to procure some herbs and other ingredients for the salve.”

“You have to make it?” You ask.

“Yes. It's a minor inconvenience but it doesn’t take much. It's fairly simple to make and all of the ingredients I need are around us. I just have to find them.”

Shadowheart follows you to your tent and she begins the healing process she had explained earlier. The pain is still present but it’s not as bad as it previously was. Once she leaves, you lay there and relax. You didn’t realize how much that had taken out of you because you find yourself falling asleep. That is until you hear the flaps to your tent open.

You slowly lift up your head, expecting to see Shadowheart. Instead you see Astarion with that same, hungry, look in his eye. He looks almost predatory as he starts to slowly crawl towards you, like a lion about to take down its prey. “I have to say darling, I’m so glad you agreed to let that priest beat you like that. It was quite the show.”

“Astarion? What are you doing here?”.

“Basking in the aftermath of your questionable decisions. You naughty, naughty, girl.” He growls. “Gods, I can still smell it on you. That sweet, musky scent paired with the smell of your blood is absolutely…intoxicating. I can’t seem to resist it.”

“What are you going on about?” You ask.

“Oh, don’t play coy with me, darling. I heard you back there. Hells, everyone did. But unlike everyone else I could smell you. One of the few perks of being a vampire spawn. Your arousal was ever present as you were willingly being beaten. It still is. Odd, I didn’t take you for a masochist. It seems I learn something new about you every day.” He crawls up the length of your body, hovering over the open wounds on your back. "It would be such a shame to let all of this blood go to waste.” He says, tracing a finger over one of the wounds. You wince as you feel his fingertip make contact with a strip of open flesh. And without warning you feel his tongue start sliding across your back, lapping up the leftover blood that had been pooling in your wounds. You hiss at the sensation. The sting of his saliva isn’t pleasant but also not….unwelcome? You’re confused at the way your body reacts to this. You should be put off by how unpleasant this feels but the aching between your thighs tells a different story.

“There it is again. That sweet, alluring smell. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” You don’t answer him. You’re not even sure what to say to that. “Being coy again are we? Darling you don’t have to be like that around me.” He continues to lap up the rest of the blood on your back, and the throbbing feeling intensifies.

“Delicious!” He declares once he’s finished. “Your blood is exquisite when it’s mixed with your sweet, sweet, lust. I still find myself hungry though.”

"Do you need more blood? I can let you feed on me.” You say.

“Oh darling, you’re such a sweetheart. I’ll be sure to take you up on that, but that’s not what I’m talking about.” You shiver beneath his touch as he slides his finger down the length of your body, starting at your shoulder blade and stopping at the hem of your trousers. “I want to taste you.”

Your eyes go wide as you realize what he’s insinuating. “I’m sorry, did I hear you correctly? You want to taste me? Like…down there?” You point down to your trousers.

He eyes you curiously. “Yes? I thought I made my intentions pretty clear.” He says. “So, what do you say? Will you let me indulge myself in you?”

You take a moment to think about it. Would things be different between the two of you if you allowed him the opportunity to do something so intimate? Would things be weird? Awkward? You didn’t want to ruin your newfound friendship with the pale elf, a friendship you’d worked so hard for. The man was difficult to understand and it was a task to get him to trust you to begin with. If things become difficult between the two of you all of your hard work would go to waste. But the aching in your thighs was growing ever stronger as he hovered over you, his crimson colored eyes heavy lidded with his own desire. Perhaps something like this would have the opposite effect, at least you hoped it would. Maybe if you were able to let yourself enjoy a moment like this with him it would make your bond stronger. Bring the two of you closer.

His lips find the shell of your ear, his voice low and sensual as he whispers, “I’ll make you feel very, very, good.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll allow it.” You say. “But how are we gonna do this? As you know, I can’t really lay on my back right now.”

“Don’t worry darling, I know how we can do this without hurting you further. Although, I’m not sure you’d be opposed to the idea of more pain.” He teases.

“Gods, I knew I should have brought Wyll along instead of you.” He pulls you to your feet, encouraging you to stand as he lies down on your bed roll.

“Oh please, you and I both know Wyll can't pick a lock the way I can. By the way, you may want to take those off.” He says, pointing to your trousers. “It’s going to be difficult to do this with those in the way.”

“Really?” Your voice drips with sarcasm as you begin to undress your lower half. When you pull down your panties you're surprised to see just how damp they are. They are soaked through the fabric, wet with your desire.

“Come here darling.” Astarion purrs once you’re completely bare. You walk over to him, a little timidly. This was the first time he was seeing you fully nude. This was also the first time you were indulging in an intimate moment like this. You were still pure after all, even if the events from earlier today suggest otherwise.

He pulls you down, his hands tightly gripping your hips as he positions you exactly where he wants you. You’re surprised to find yourself seated right under his face, right where his tongue had the best access to your now throbbing, aching, cunt. You hear him take a deep inhale of you before he slips his tongue between your folds. The feeling is certainly a new one but it’s incredible. You find yourself biting down on your bottom lip attempting to stifle the moans that threaten to escape you as he indulges himself. He laps you up as though he’s been starved and you can hear him let out little grunts as he savors the sweet taste of your sex.

“Gods, this is better than I could have imagined.” He groans against you. “I can’t wait until I get you to cum for me.” And with that, he withdraws his tongue just a little until the tip of it is touching that little bud of sensitive nerves. You hiss, withdrawing yourself from his face. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant by any means, just unfamiliar. Surprising.

“Are you alright, darling?” He asks, his face is etched with concern as he looks up at you.

“S-sorry.” You apologize, depositing yourself onto his chest. “I’ve just-this is my first time.”

“Really? You’ve never had anyone-

“Nope. This is my first time experiencing anything like this. I’m still…what’s the word?”

“A virgin?”

“Yes.” You say. “I’m still a virgin.”

He looks surprised by your revelation. “Really? By the way you were acting back at the temple I would have never guessed. I suppose that explains why you seemed a little confused earlier. I can stop if-

“No. No no no. I want this. Please continue. For once you’re actually making good use of your tongue.”

He chuckles at your clever quip. “As you wish darling. But do try and stay seated.” He pulls you back to his face, taking it slower this time as he teases your clit. It’s overwhelming at first, almost too much to bear. But eventually that feeling subsides, leaving you with a pleasure you’ve never had the chance to experience. You don’t even attempt to stifle back the moans that escape your lips.

“Mmm, you want them to hear us, don’t you darling?” Astarion murmurs beneath you. "Naughty, naughty, girl."

You don’t answer him. Instead you desperately grind your hips against his face, guiding his tongue to hit all of your sweet spots. Suddenly he withdraws from you and you let out a disappointed whine.

“Oh don’t look at me like that. I’m not finished yet. I just want to try something.” His lips start to graze the inside of your thigh, searching for the perfect spot. When he finds it he sinks his fangs into you. You have no idea how delicious you are darling. To him you're like a fine wine crafted specifically for his tastes. Ever since he’s been free he’s had the chance to sample a few other thinking creatures. Enemies that dared to challenge you and your companions. They were all good, there was no denying that. But they were nothing compared to you. Especially when you were so, so, close to the edge.

He continues to take long drinks from you, indulging himself in your delicious taste. The icy sting from his fangs, the light headedness, and the adrenaline that was now coursing through your veins is almost too much. It isn’t long before you feel your body begin to tense as you come to your climax. Your thighs begin to quiver and you let out a loud cry as a tidal wave of pleasure overtakes you. Gods, that felt incredible! Astarion hums happily beneath you as he switches from your thigh back to your sopping cunt. He hungrily laps up your sweet, sweet, juices but you find that the feeling of his tongue is overstimulating. You have to lift up off of him to get him to stop.

“T-too much. Need a second.” You pant.

“How was it?”

“Th-that was amazing.” You say, still trembling from your orgasm.

“I told you I’d make you feel good, didn’t I?” He looks up at you triumphantly, his face is covered with a mixture of blood and the clear, glossy sheen of you. You take your thumb and wipe some of the crimson liquid off the edge of his mouth. He’s always been such a messy eater.

“So, would you like to go further?” His question catches you off guard.

“What? What do you mean?” You ask.

“Would you like to have sex darling?” He asks. “And please, don’t feel pressured. You’ve given me so much already, I’ll understand if you don’t want to.” He says, absentmindedly twirling a strand of your hair around his fingers.

Of course that’s what he meant. Gods, you were so inexperienced in these matters. How embarrassing.

You take a moment to consider. You’re already sitting on top of him naked and the two of you have just shared a rather intimate moment. Why not let him be the one to take your purity? Besides, the tadpole has you constantly guessing whether or not there will be a tomorrow in store for you. If there was a time to lose your virginity, it’d be now, while the chance lay so willingly beneath you.

“Yes. I think I would.”

“I was so hoping you’d say that.” He says. He pulls you off of him so that he can unlace his trousers. His erection springs out at you, hard and ready, pre-cum already leaking from the tip. His hands find your hips and he positions you over his shaft. “I'm not sure if you know this or not but it’s going to hurt. I don’t think that will be a problem for you though, my little deviant.” He says, his lips are pulled into a devious smirk as he calls you by another one of his pet names.

“You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?”

“I don’t plan too.” He says. “Besides, I’m sure I can find ways to use this little kink of yours to my advantage.” He helps you lower yourself onto him and he’s absolutely right. It hurts. It’s a pain unlike any you’ve ever felt before, a strange combination of pressure and burning. And it’s driving you absolutely mad. How can something hurt so badly yet feel so damned good? You aren’t sure. It doesn’t make sense. None of what’s happening right now makes sense. But you don’t care. You’re just glad it’s happening, and with Astarion of all people.

He’s slow at first, allowing you to get used to the feeling of him inside you before he goes any further. Then he grinds himself against you, driving himself deeper and deeper into your cervix. “Fuck, you’re so tight, Tav!” He says through gritted teeth. He pulls you down close to him, holding you tightly against his chest as he bucks his hips into you. It's a bit of a task with how green you are but eventually he manages, filling you with the full length of his cock. This is an entirely new feeling and the pain is still present but gods, it feels so fucking good. You can't believe you've gone this long without ever experiencing something like this. Sure, you absolutely could have earlier in your life but no one ever really caught your attention. Astarion however, was an entirely different story.

His pace is steady, thrusting into you with quick, deep strokes, relishing the feeling of your tight little pussy taking all of him. Loud moans mixed with his name spill from your lips as you praise everything he's doing to you. Every thrust, every grunt, every dirty word that comes out of his mouth drives you closer and closer to the edge. It isn't long before that tense feeling returns and your thighs begin to tremble once more as that wave of pleasure overtakes you yet again. You loudly cry his name as he manages to unravel you for a second time.

His pace begins to falter and with a few more thrusts he too reaches his climax, spilling his seed deep inside of you. You collapse on top of him, just as Shadowheart opens the flaps to your tent.

“Oh! Oh gods! You could have at least left a sock outside or something!” She shields her eyes and quickly closes the tent flap, cursing as she walks away.

Astarion chuckles and gently moves you off of him, pulling his undergarments and trousers back on. "As much as I don't want to, I suppose I should let her have you now."

“That was…nice.” You say.

“Indeed. Perhaps we can make this a regular thing between the two of us? I rather enjoy your company, you know?” Your lips tug into a smile at his suggestion.

“I would like that.”

"Good." He plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, then another on your cheek before he leans down close to your ear and whispers, “Maybe the next time we indulge ourselves in one another I’ll have come up with all sorts of delicious ways to torment you. You’d like that, yes? And I’m sure I can find all sorts of fun items for us to play with. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for a flog for my naughty, naughty, girl.”

Your cheeks turn bright red and he kisses you again, this time on the lips. He’s rough with it, parting your lips with his tongue, allowing you to taste yourself on him. A unique blend of the two of you dances around in each other's mouths as the kiss deepens. It’s divine, unlike anything you’ve ever tasted. His fang nicks your lower lip drawing out a tiny bit of blood which he greedily laps up. And then he pulls away, leaving you breathless and desperately wanting more.

I'll see you later, my sweet." He says, pressing one last kiss to your forehead before climbing out of your tent.

Shadowheart returns shortly after with an annoyed look on her face. In one hand she holds that salve she’s prepared. You laugh when you see what she’s holding in the other.

“Did you seriously bring me a sock!?”

“Yes. Please do not ever let me walk in on that again. The last thing I wanted to see today was Astarions ball sack.”

“I didn’t think you got the chance to see anything with how quickly you left.” You manage to say through your fit of laughter.

“Well I did and now I’m traumatized. Thanks for that.”

#astarion #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion x tav #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 #smut

[literarygoon]

So,

I've looked at this photo many times before, but this is the first time I've taken note of the sun beam directed at my sister's temple. It looks like a spot light. Sometimes it's the most obvious things that escape our notice.

One of the difficult things to adjust to after someone passes away is that there will never be new photos of them, no new memories to create. Instead you're left revisiting the same moments, the same images, ad nauseum — searching for some new clarity or insight that isn't always there. At the end of her life Kathryn watched episodes of Friends on endless repeat, taking comfort in the repetitive nostalgia of scenes she could probably quote by heart. Now I feel like I'm doing the same thing with the detritus of her existence, hoping to find deleted scenes or DVD extras.

This particular scene is clear in my mind, but I had to ask Kristina whether it took place on the Mainland or the Island. In the last few months of 2020, Kathryn spent a lot of time sleeping in the backseat of our RAV. During this particular trip she rested her head in my daughter's lap, her head propped against the arm of her car seat, so the two of them could snore softly in unison. It was early December. At one point Celista woke up and gently swept Kathryn's duck fluff hair out of her face, perplexed by this sad, murmuring adult.

During that time, Kathryn was always looking for a safe place. One night she crawled into bed with my wife, looking for someone to cuddle. She had spent her life as a confident, well-dressed bombshell businesswoman, but now she was regressing back into a childlike state. And maybe that's why she was so fixated on my daughter  — when everyone else in her life had failed and disappointed her, at least she could find solace in the uncomplicated acceptance of an infant. Love is so much simpler when you're little. 

I've had this photo on my desktop for a few weeks now. Partway through my workday I'll open it, scour it for new details, almost like I'm looking for clues that will explain her final days. I recognize her eyebrow, which looks like mine, and I love how Celista's curled fingers are resting against Kathryn's cheek. If I was a more photo-realistic artist, maybe I would try to paint this little tableaux. There's something iconic about it, almost religious, like one generation passing off to another. 

I loved my sister my entire life. I bragged about her, admired her, favoured her. At times I was jealous of her. But it wasn't until her last years, when she broke, that my heart burst painfully open for her. Seeing her suffer, terrorized by her own mind, it made her human to me. She reminded me of myself, of my own chaotic suffering, of my own overwhelming need to be loved by my family and the people around me. When I look at this photo I see myself, curled up to my daughter and hoping for the only kind of salvation I believe in.

The Literary Goon

[mrkis]

the way life goes — three

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: na jaemin x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 15.9k

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: your friends with benefits relationship with jaemin starts to get more serious when he asks to be exclusive, and just as things go a little too well, things start to get bad.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slow burn-ish, so much plot and way too much dialogue lol, fwb type stuff, friends to lovers i guess???, the majority of kpop 00’ liners are in this, other nct members also make brief appearances, a lot of crack humour, a lot of sex talk and jokes, black haired jaemin, jaemin is just super mysterious and sexy, explicit language, explicit content, alcohol consumption, drug taking, the group smokes weed and pops a few pills, making out at a party, the friendship group get touchy with each other due to the drugs, BIG SMUT, unprotected sex (stay safe besties), creampies, bathroom sex plus jaemin eats out reader against the sink, mirror sex, sex under the influence, overstimulation, jaemin fucks reader dumb, reader gives jealous jaemin a blowjob, slightly sub!jaemin in once scene (could be considered swtich!jaemin), mainly dom!jaemin and sub!reader

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎

“Okay, everyone, hand in your assessments at my desk neatly, please. The deadline was yesterday but because someone—” Professor Moon pauses to look at Miwoo who smiles innocently and bats her eyelashes. “—forgot to get it done, I gave you one more day. Make sure your names are written down because sadly I am not psychic and I can’t figure out who's assessment is who's”

The majority of the class stands to walk to the front desk, the remaining that are seated quickly grab a pen to scribble down their names, including Miwoo who mumbles a string of curses beside you. Haru offers to take your assessment to Professor Moon, grabbing the papers from your hands and snatching away Miwoo’s who holds it towards her.

“Thank you” Miwoo mouths as Haru walks, ignoring the middle finger she throws her way. Miwoo adjusts herself in her seat to eye Yeeun from across the room, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. “Yeeun texted Jeno again last night asking if he was still going to the party her and Sunwoo are planning… her desperation makes me want to vomit”

“She’s probably doing it to tease you” You state, glancing over at the short blonde headed girl briefly. “You know she likes it when she gets under your skin”

“Yeah, well, I’m about to get under hers with a knife” Miwoo threatens, teeth gritting together as she hears Yeeun giggle at something on her phone. “She needs to keep her old, saggy hands away from Jeno”

You pull a face. “She’s only two years older than us”

Her eyes dart towards you angrily. “Does it matter?!”

Your lips form a straight line. “Apparently not”

Haru settles back down into her seat when she comes back, looking between you both with a confused expression until Miwoo is quick to inform her on what you’re both talking about and Haru sighs, rubbing at her temples as she tries to explain that Jeno isn’t interested in Yeeun but Miwoo refuses to listen, continuing to snarl and flip her middle finger whenever Yeeun meets her eyes and sends a mocking smile her way.

You’re surprised Miwoo hasn’t taken the chance to leap over the table and rip her hair out yet, but you knew that despite Yeeun being the one to provoke, Miwoo would definitely get the worse end of it, especially in front of an entire class and if she was the one to lay her hand on her first.

“Alright, everyone, I think that’s it for today. You can all go for your lunch early” Professor Moon clasps his hands together with a cheery smile as everyone hollers excitingly. “Good job with your assessments, they look great so far… Y/N, would you be able to stay behind for a few minutes? I want to speak with you”

The class emits a low ‘oooo’ sound, excited at the thought of someone getting in trouble with Professor Moon for the first time. You turn to face Haru and Miwoo who stare at you in surprise as they gather up their things. Haru sends you a reassuring smile, patting your shoulder comfortingly while Miwoo speaks in hushed whispers, saying how lucky you are to be alone with him and even going as far as teasing you about receiving a punishment.

Haru whacks the back of her head, a gesture for her to shut her mouth before gripping her upper arm and dragging her out of the classroom despite Miwoo’s efforts to stay and send suggestive looks your way.

You suck in a deep breath as you grab your own stuff, your chair scraping from beneath you as you push back to stand, slowly making your way over to Professor Moon’s desk. Your hands nervously fumble with each other, your nails scratching at your skin as you wait for him to say something, anything, after a few minutes of silence.

“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble” Professor Moon calms your nerves the second he senses how tense and fidgety you look. His kind smile allows you to relax and drop your shoulders, the uncomfortable feeling slowly slipping away. “I wanted to talk to you about your assessment and your other pieces that you’ve handed in so far”

“Okay” You nod your head, chewing at your inner cheek. “Is there anything wrong with them?”

“No, actually, your writing is really impressive” A proud smile spreads across your cheeks at his compliment, your heart thumping excitedly against your chest. Professor Moon adjusts the glasses on the bridge of his nose before resting back against his chair. “What are you hoping to go into after finishing college? Poetry? Short stories?”

“Travel writing” You tell him and his eyebrows raise in surprise. “My mom used to travel the world and write about the places she visited before she had me, so I want to follow in her footsteps… plus, the whole idea of travelling around the world sounds pretty cool”

“That’s amazing” You can’t help but beam at his words, shyly averting your eyes down. You hear him shuffle around, unzipping his black satchel to pull out a small notepad. He takes a pen out of his shirt pocket to scribble something down on the paper and you crane your neck to see him write down a few numbers and a website. Professor Moon rips the paper and outstretches his hand towards you. “Here. Take this. A close friend of mine organises a big trip every few months and takes a group of aspiring writers along with him… You should sign up for it, I truly think you’ll have fun”

“It sounds fun…” You hesitate as you take the paper slip out of his hands, your lips pressing together in a wry smile. “I won't be able to afford any of it. I don’t even have a job—”

“The trip will be all paid for. The flight, the hotel and even the restaurant you all decided to eat at” Professor Taeil cuts you off and you blink in surprise. “The only thing you would have to pay for is any souvenirs you want to take home or if you go shopping”

“Oh” You breathe out. “Wow”

“Think about it” He urges, a grin slipping onto his face. “Whenever you have the time, check his website or even give him a call. I’ll let him know that he might be expecting you”

“I will. Thank you, Professor” Your smile is small but grateful as you bow your head to bid him a goodbye, leaving the classroom without another word. You close the door behind you and you let out a deep exhale, looking down at the paper slip in between your fingers and reading over his sprawled out writing. Nakamoto Yuta, NaYuTravels, +82-1-***-***. You purse your lips in deep thought, scanning over the information again before you sigh, folding the paper up into a small square.

You didn’t understand why you felt so conflicted. A big part of you wanted to go and you were certain an opportunity like this would never come forward again… but why was there a smaller part of you that felt so against going? You didn’t have a proper reason and even if you did, you struggled to find it somewhere in your brain.

What was holding you back?

“What are you looking at?” You hear a familiar voice question and you raise your head, eyes meeting Jaemin who is leaning against the wall opposite you, his arms crossed over his chest with a boyish grin. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you?

You arch your brow with a smile. “You waited for me?”

“Of course” Jaemin pushes himself off of the walk to saunter over to you. He bends his head, seeming as though he’s about to kiss you but he stops suddenly. You can feel his breath fanning your face and you notice the way he gulps with his eyebrows scrunching. Jaemin cleans his throat, turning his attention to the paper in your hand so quickly you were sure it could give him whiplash. “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing” You dismiss, shoving it deep into your pockets. “Just something my Professor gave me”

Jaemin’s eyes dart between yours and your pocket, his brow slowly raising in curiosity. “His number?”

“I wish” You exaggeratingly sigh and Jaemin rolls his eyes, his tongue poking at his cheek in mock annoyance before he throws his arm around your shoulder and pulls you into his side. Your cheeks warm at the sudden display of affection, heart thumping wildly against your chest at the thought of someone seeing you both but you calm yourself down once you realise this is what friends do. It’s normal.

Jaemin keeps his arm around your shoulder as you walk down the hallways together, earning looks from other classmates which sends your head spiralling with multiple thoughts and worries. This isn’t going well. You immediately shrug his arm off of your shoulders the second you see another person glance your way and you spin to face Jaemin who’s already studying you, eyes squinting in question and you shake your head.

“Rule two” You remind him, lowering your voice. “No telling anyone at college”

“I didn’t say anything”

“You’re making it obvious” You shoot back in a hushed whisper, ducking your head as more faces turn your way. “They’re all staring. Everyone is staring at us”

Jaemin’s gaze never moves from you as he takes in your words, a strange feeling settling in his chest as you refuse to meet his eyes. His brows furrow once he realises how uncomfortable you seem, your hands fidgety and your body tense. He hates it, and he hates whatever he is feeling.

You jump in surprise when you feel Jaemin’s fingers underneath your chin, lifting up your head and you frown as you meet his stoic expression, swallowing the lump in your throat. What is this expression? Is he angry? Your worries slowly start to halt as he moves his hand from your chin to your head, gently smoothing your hair as a deep sigh leaves his lips.

“Nobody is looking at us” He speaks softly. “They’re all in their own worlds... nobody is looking at us”

You take this opportunity to survey the students that linger around and you blink in surprise as you realise that in fact no one is looking your way, not even one glance or a peek. The majority of them are locked in conversation with their friends, passionately waving their arms around to get their point across and others are enjoying their own company, music blasting through the earphones and fingers tapping against the screen of their phones.

You even spot Yeji speaking with her best friend, Lia, who pulls a fancy tube of lipgloss out of her purse to show off proudly and Yeji grins, clearly happy to see the brand new makeup product before showing off her green jacket which you were certain belonged to Shotaro.

“See?” You feel Jaemin’s lips brush against your ear and goosebumps rise to your skin at the proximity. “It’s all in that pretty little head of yours”

“I guess” You mutter as you turn to face him, your nose almost brushing against his. You lean back slightly to create some space. “I just don’t want anyone talking about us…”

“I don’t think anyone gives a fuck about us” He grins, leaning forwards and the space you had created was no longer there. “Which is why I want to become exclusive with you”

You choke on your own spit. “What?”

Jaemin smirks instead of answering, taking your hand in his as he drags you down the hallway and into a vacant classroom. He closes the door behind himself and turns to face you, dropping his head low to place his lips to yours in a short kiss thanks to the privacy you both now have.

He pulls back before you could allow yourself to melt into his touch, your eyes still closed and lips slightly puckered but once he presses a quick kiss to the tip of your nose, your eyes open as you realise why you’re here.

“What do you mean by exclusive?”

“I told you that I don’t want to fuck anyone else, I just want to fuck you” His blunt words make you feel shy. “I want us to become exclusive fuck buddies. We can still keep the rules, obviously, but I think it would be easier for us”

“Easier, how?”

“I want to be able to actually touch you without having to be in the comfort of our own bedrooms” He explains as he reaches out to caress your cheek. “I want to be able to tease you or at least kiss you whenever I feel the urge, I don’t want to wait until we get somewhere private, where’s the fun in that?”

“But—”

“And even if people were to talk about us or stare, they’ll soon forget about it. That shit with Jeno and Yeeun lasted, like, a day… we’ll be fine”

“I don’t know” You mutter, afraid to meet his eyes but his fingers slide under your chin once more to lift up your head. He sends you a soft and comforting smile, the kind that makes your body warm and mind buzz. You fought the need to smile back, the effect Jaemin already had over you making it hard to do so.

“I’m not going to force you to be exclusive friends with benefits with me if you’re uncomfortable or not ready” He tells you as his hand drops to your hip, gently kneading the area. You weren’t sure if he knew what he was doing. “But I just want you to know that I only want to fuck you”

“Can I think about it?” You feel pathetic at how quiet you sound. “It’s just that—”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me” Jaemin cuts you off and you’re shocked at how kind and understanding he’s being, the way he’s looking at you with those big dark eyes slowly makes you crumble. “I'll wait. Take all the time you need”

And that’s when you kiss him.

His lips eagerly respond to your own, pulling you flush against his body the second his tongue slips past your lips. The chairs squeak behind you as you both walk and stumble backwards and you’re afraid you’re about to fall until Jaemin’s lifts you up and plants you down on a desk.

Your hands hungrily touch his body as his tongue glides against yours and a low grunt escapes the back of his throat as you suck gently on his tongue, his lower half pushing into yours and you gasp as you feel the hardness press against your inner thigh.

You want to take it further. You want to slip your hand into his pants and make him come apart in your hold but you decide against it once you’re reminded you’re in an empty classroom once you hear students laugh in the hallway.

The kiss is broken, your hands pushing at Jaemin’s shoulders and he takes a step back, allowing you the space despite pulling a confused expression, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a pout.

“We’re in public” You remind him and the smirk that appears on his face when he gestures towards the closed classroom door makes you roll your eyes. “Fine. We’re in college. And if anyone walks through that door, we’re in trouble”

Jaemin’s brow twitches. “I kinda like the idea of getting caught fucking in a classroom”

You immediately scoff and slap his shoulder for that.

“You know, when I imagine you being in my bed, this isn’t exactly how I picture it” Yangyang complains with an overexaggerated sigh while rummaging through his clothes in his wardrobe. He peeks at you over his shoulder, your body sprawled across his bed as you lay on your belly with his phone in your hands, playing a game. Yangyang tuts. “You’re in the right position but it’s less clothes, no phone and more attention on me”

“In your dreams, Yang”

“I’ll keep dreaming then” Yangyang sighs sadly, turning back around to grab a handful of clothing off the rack and throwing them down on the bed beside you, plucking a white and black striped sweater from the pile and slipping it over his body. He stands in front of his mirror to check himself out, posing in different positions before turning to you. “How about this one?”

“It’s sunny all day. Ditch the sweater, swap it for a shirt” You instruct before looking back down at the phone and Yangyang whines but follows your orders, pulling the sweater over his head and throwing it to the side with a huff as he reaches for another clothing item. You purse your lips in thought, pausing the game and turning to Yangyang in curiosity. “You’re meeting this girl to sleep with her, right? So why are you putting so much effort into your clothes if they’re going to be off anyway?”

“I want to make a good impression” Yangyang obviously states, staring at you incredulously. He points at his bare chest. “I have a reputation to hold, okay? Every girl that I’ve slept with all said to their friends that: 1. My body is immaculate. 2. My sense of style is sexy. 3. My moves? Out of this world”

“You sure you’re not telling yourself that to boost your already inflated ego?” You smile at him teasingly and Yangyang doesn’t hesitate to reach over and slap his hand down harshly on your ass. You gasp at the sting, mouth dropping open as you laugh in complete shock, raising your own hand to attack back but he’s quick to shove you to the side, dropping down on his belly beside you on the bed.

His shoulder knocks against yours and you hiss at the force, rubbing the area when he takes his phone out of your hands. You watch as he exits the game you were playing and brings up an app, your eyes narrowing at the name.

“Hookr? That’s… interesting”

“I think it’s just to copy Tinder and Grindr, you know, just adding the ‘r’ on the end or something” Yangyang explains, pulling up a woman’s profile and angling the screen towards you. “That’s her. Isn’t she a beauty?”

“Single, not looking for anything serious, a freak in the sheets, can guarantee a good time” You read off of her bio, snickering loudly before you suddenly choke as you read the age. “She’s 42?!”

Yangyang smiles cheekily. “And she doesn’t look a day over twen—hey! What are you… Don’t do that!!! Don’t you dare unmatch with her—Stop it!! What are you doing?!?”

You dodge his flying hands as he tries to reach for his phone which you ripped out of his grasp, your fingers tapping rapidly against the screen to try and figure out how to get this older woman out of Yangyang’s DM’s and deleted but you struggle to do so due to Yangyang trying his hardest to stop you.

The battle cry Yangyang lets out as he climbs on top of your back almost makes you break into a fit of laughter but you hold strong, managing to somehow find a way to unmatch the woman and block her account for the final touch.

“What the hell?!” Yangyang cries out as he finally grabs his phone out of your hands but the damage is already done. He leans back, sitting on the back of your thighs with his knees on either side of your body as taps against his phone. “Why would you do thaaaaat?! I haven’t got laid in so long, this could’ve been my chance”

“I’m not letting you have sex with a fourty-two year old woman” You protest, ignoring the suggestive position you are both in. “She’s old enough to be your mother”

“Who knows? Maybe I have a mommy kink or some shit” You fake gag at Yangyang’s response, pulling a face of disgust while he lays on top of you, putting his whole weight on top of your body as his face mushes against your shoulder. A whine emits from his throat. “I still can’t believe you just did that… What happened to being my wingwoman? That’s the only reason I asked you to come into my room”

“And I only came into your room because Jaemin is finishing up his photoshop stuff” You huff, trying to pull yourself out from beneath Yangyang’s body. “You should be happy that I unmatched her… I potentially saved you from embarrassing yourself”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The group would have definitely found out about you hooking up with a woman who’s in her forties, they would never let you live that down… plus, she’s probably a lot more experienced than you are so—”

“You little bitc—”

“What are you doing?” You raise your head to see Jaemin standing in the doorway of Yangyang’s room, staring at you both with an unreadable expression. Yangyang’s eyes meet his, not even making the effort to move from above you. Instead, he just grins, digging his fingers into your sides and you let out a yelp. Jaemin’s eyes narrow. “What are you doing?”

“Teaching her a lesson” Yangyang says, chuckling at your laughter every time he tickles your sides. “She’s hurting my feelings and she deserves to be punished”

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at that, an unusual feeling settles in his chest and he wrinkles his nose in distaste before turning on his heel to leave but you call out his name just before he can disappear. He peeks his head back around the doorframe just as you manage to free yourself from beneath Yangyang’s body, tumbling off of the bed and onto the ground which earns a boisterous laugh from the latter.

You flip Yangyang off as you stand and he smiles innocently at you, throwing his fingers into a peace sign. You scoff, turning around and throwing your arm over Jaemin’s shoulders to lead him away from Yangyang’s room and he chuckles, wrapping his own around you as you both wobble to his bedroom.

The smile slowly disappears from Yangyang’s lips, his hand dropping down on the bed as he stares at the spot you were just standing, his own unusual feeling stirring in his chest.

The second you enter Jaemin’s room, he acts like a different person. His arms are removed from your waist and he sits down on the chair at his desk, avoiding your eyes with an angry pout. Your brows furrow at his strange attitude, closing the door behind yourself and slowly walking over to him, eyeing him suspiciously.

“What’s up with you?” You ask, gripping the back of his chair and spinning him around to face you once he takes too long to answer. You tut and shake your head as you notice he’s giving you the silent treatment. “Okay, then. I’ll go back to Y—”

“You came over here to spend time with me but you’re in Yangyang’s room” Jaemin immediately answers you before you could have the chance to finish your sentence. The pout is still present on his lips as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest tightly. “You ignored me”

“I went to hang out with him because someone was working on their computer” You point at him. “You ignored me”

“I told you that could sit right here” Jaemin gestures towards his lap. “But instead you prefer to go lay underneath Yangyang’s half naked body”

You purse your lips at his attitude, fighting back a cocky grin. “You know, it awfully sounds like you’re jealous”

“Me? Jealous?” Jaemin looks at you in disbelief, shaking his head. “Rule number three, baby… no jealousy. I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous? Imagine being jealous of Yang—what are you doing?”

“Nothing” You hum once you’ve got down to your knees, your hands running up his thighs over his jeans. You smile. “You’re kinda hot when you sound not jealous”

He stays silent as he allows you to undo the buttons and pull down his zipper, lifting up his hips to give you easy access to tug them off. He’s left in his boxers, his growing hard on obvious and you smirk at the tent in the fabric, leaning forward to place gentle kisses over his covered length.

Jaemin curses quietly at the feeling, watching you intently as your kisses soon turn into wet suckles, the fabric becoming too uncomfortable to keep on but he adores seeing you this way, on your knees and pleasing him the way you want to. His hand slowly comes out to affectionately smooth the back of your head, his eyes darkening the second your eyes meet his and he hums, his whole demeanour changing completely.

“You want to please me, baby?” Jaemin licks at his lips, bringing you closer to his crotch. “You want to make up for the fact you left me to go to Yangyang? Make me feel good, baby… make me cum”

You eagerly pull down his boxers without a second thought, his length immediately slaps against his stomach, begging to be touched and you lick your lips as you wrap your fingers around him tightly, positioning him towards your mouth. You raise your head to meet his eyes again, the hand that affectionately smooths your head comes to a stop, his ringed fingers gently tugging at your hair, a quiet plea despite the dominance act he’s put on.

When you take too long to move, he drops his hand from the back of your head and grabs his cock, pumping himself a few times as he remains in eye contact with you and you smile, leaning forward on your knees with your mouth wide open and ready.

He taps the head of his cock against your tongue and you close your mouth around him without a second thought, sucking at his tip and swirling your tongue as you look up at him to meet his eyes.

Jaemin gasps as you bob your head, relaxing your throat to take him deeper and breathing steadily through your nose to help fight away the urge to gag. Jaemin’s head tips back with his mouth open wide, fists clenching at his side as he’s unsure on what to do with his hands until you take them in your own, holding his hands sweetly despite your lewd act.

No sound escapes him until you hollow your cheeks as you suck hard around him, a breathy moan leaving his lips and his hips jerk forward. His fingers wrap around yours at his thighs when you hum against his cock, whining your name as the vibrations of your sounds make his body buzz.

The slurping noises you make around his cock almost sends Jaemin over the edge, his head tipping back against the chair as he moans over and over, the grip on your hands tightening.

“Oh my g—fuck” Jaemin breaths out as he completely sinks into his chair, unable to move due to the amounts of pleasure he’s receiving, allowing you to do all the work as he sits immobile, only letting out a few grunts and moans as his cock hits the back of your throat.

You look up to his face, seeing the euphoric expression makes you feel proud, your heart soaring in your chest. You’ve made him like this. You did this. You want to smile but with his cock shoved into your mouth, you find it hard to do so so instead you bob your head faster, involuntary gagging around his length as he repeatedly hits the back of your throat.

The broken moans that fall from his lips indicate how close he is to breaking apart, the grip he has on your hands so tight it makes you wince but you push the pain aside, solely focussing on making Jaemin cum which he does the second you suckle at the head of his cock. He sounds like he’s crying as he spills into your mouth, the bitter taste sliding down the back of your throat and you swallow it without any complaints, making sure to take every last drop he gives you.

“Fuck” Jaemin curses, his body shakes slightly as he goes through the last few seconds of his orgasm, removing his hands from yours to gently push your head back to let his sensitive cock drop from your mouth.

He looks at you through dazed eyes, a tired smile seeping across his lips as he gestures for you to come forward and you oblige, letting him pull you onto his lap with your legs on each side of his hips. You’re careful not to touch his cock as you sit, watching as he carefully tucks himself back into his boxers before he circles his arms around your waist.

You both sit in a comfortable silence, his hands running up the back of your shirt, the pads of his fingers pressing into your muscles in a massaging kind of way which makes you sigh in content, your own hands resting on the back of his neck, playing with the hairs at his nape.

He presses soft kisses to your cheek, goosebumps immediately following its path and you giggle at the tickle of his lips brushing your ear and his breath shooting down your neck. You move your head to avoid it but he easily brings you back, mouth flush against yours.

Jaemin kisses you so softly, softer than he has ever kissed you before and it makes you confused, but you can't seem to pull yourself away and question him. Your fingers tangle themselves in his hair while his hands rest on your back, pushing you closer to his body as he gently bites down on your bottom lip.

The sound of his phone buzzing against his desk makes you want to scream and Jaemin seems to feel the same as he sighs frustratingly once he breaks the kiss to reach for his phone, shaking his head in annoyance. You lean back in his lap, dropping your hands from his shoulders and you fiddle with your fingers, watching as his reaction changes from annoyed to amused with a smile, a chuckle leaving him as he turns his phone screen to you.

jeno: whos the loud one now jeno: bitches

“Are you seriously not coming?” Miwoo frowns deeply as she stands in the middle of your room in just her underwear with her hands on her hips and a towel wrapped around her hair.

Yeeun and Sunwoo’s joint party came faster than you expected, the date being today and the time just only a few hours from now. Your entire social media feed is filled and continues to fill with excitement about tonight, some posting themselves already in their outfits while others posting about their supply of beers and drugs.

Students from other colleges that you are familiar with were posting about the party too which didn’t shock you, already knowing what Sunwoo is like with his parties first hand. He’s social, he likes to get a lot of people involved and he isn’t afraid to meet new people, and possibly make friends. (or in some cases, be their drug dealer)

You tap your pen against your notepad in deep thought, Miwoo’s question repeating in your head and you slowly look up to meet Miwoo’s eyes who immediately reacts to the expression that’s on your face.

“Please!!” Miwoo whines, dropping down to her knees and clasping her hands together as she begs. “It’ll be so boring without you there… Who’s going to offer to makeout with me when I argue with Jeno?”

You fight back the smile on your face. “I’m sure Haru would take one for the team”

“But, Y/NNNN…” She gives you the best puppy dog eyes she could muster, her bottom lip jutting outwards as she stares up at you. You blink, unaffected. “We are a trio. We go everywhere together!! We do everything together!! We haven’t been to one of Sunwoo’s parties in a while and he even messaged Jeno personally yesterday to make sure we were all coming”

Your brows furrow in confusion. “He did? Why? I thought Yeeun already invi—”

“Is she still bothering you about not coming?” Haru’s voice interrupts you and you turn your head to see her standing in your bedroom doorway, wearing a deep red bodycon dress that accentuates her curves. Your mouth drops open and Miwoo gasps, her hand slapping over her mouth. “What? What’s wrong?”

“You’re wearing a dress”

“Wow” Haru’s eyes open wide in mock shock. “I’ll tell you what, Sherlock Holmes. You are unbelievable”

Miwoo crosses her arms over her chest. “Usually I’d curse you out for using your sarcastic tone with me but I’ll let it slide due to the fact you just quoted my future husband” Haru rolls her eyes at that, taking a step into your room. “I’ve never seen you wear a dress before… my sexuality is a little conflicted right now”

Haru scoffs. “Shut up. Renjun bought it for me after snooping through my wish-list on my shopping account. I don’t know if I like it or not”

“I think you look really pretty” You compliment her, your eyes raking down her form. “It also shows how long your legs actually are. Sexy”

“Are you hitting on me right now, Y/N?” Haru jokingly asks you, raising a brow. You play along, teasingly biting down on your bottom lip and sending a wink her way. Haru snorts, grabbing a pillow from your bed and lobbing it in your direction but you easily catch it, laughing as you throw it back on your bed. Haru looks at Miwoo who seems to be in a daze and clicks her fingers in front of her face. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m in love” Miwoo blurts out and you both instantly burst out laughing. Miwoo blinks, slowly turning her head to you. “No, seriously, I think I’m in love”

“All I had to do was put on a dress to make you instantly fall in love with me?” Haru asks in a teasing tone, moving to stand in front of Miwoo. She reaches out to caress Miwoo’s cheeks, her flirtatious attitude causing you to smirk. Haru’s hand glides down Miwoo’s neck and to her shoulders, her finger slipping under the strap of her bra and pulling it back before letting it snap harshly against her skin. “You fucking simp”

At that, Miwoo jumps back into reality with a hiss and violently kicks at Haru who laughs loudly, easily dodging her feet that come flying towards her face, grabbing at her ankles and squeezing tightly to prevent her from continuing to try and hit her.

Miwoo yelps in pain, trying to get away from Haru’s group who turns her head to look at you nonchalantly, sending a smile your way. “So, you’re definitely not going tonight?”

“I don’t think so…” You gnaw on your bottom lip, the thought of possibly bumping into Eric at a busy house party makes you feel uncomfortable and nervous. “I’m probably just gonna chill here, watch a movie or something”

“You know, Eric might not even be there” Miwoo says in a hopeful tone once she manages to free herself from Haru’s hands, looking up at you with big round eyes.

“It’s at Sunwoo’s... he’s obviously going to be there” You mutter a response, refusing to meet her eyes and focusing your attention back on your notebook, scanning over the notes you were writing for class. “I’ll be fine here”

You can see that Miwoo wants to argue with you, to make you change your mind and enjoy yourself at a party that would probably end up being one of the best ones they’ve ever been to, but she holds herself back, pressing her lips together as she pushes herself up off of your bed.

A frown makes its way onto your face as you watch her leave your room, eyes moving over to Haru who sighs and shakes her head at Miwoo’s behaviour before she sits down next to you, placing a comforting hand on your knee.

“Look…” Haru begins, her gaze never leaving yours. “Ignore Miwoo, if you don’t want to come, that’s completely okay… but don’t stop yourself from having fun just because Eric is there. Besides, Eric should be the least of your problems now… you have Jaemin, remember?”

“I don’t have Jaemin” You correct her. “We’re just sleeping together”

“Still. It’s something” She smiles. “It seems you’re the only one that matters to him… anybody would kill to be in your position right now”

You knew that her words were supposed to make you feel better, to make you smile and feel special, but it didn’t. It makes you feel sick, your throat tightening at the image of the ring that lays on his bedside table flashes in your mind.

Who did that ring belong to?

“I can’t believe you came all this way dressed up to go to the party and now you’re not even going” You shake your head as you look at Jaemin who stands in your kitchen with his back to you, peeking inside your refrigerator for something to eat.

When the boys came over an hour ago to collect the girls for the party, you were shocked to find Jaemin sitting in your living room, dressed and ready to go. He wore a pair of black chinos with a plain white shirt and doc martens, accessorized with a few of his favourite rings, chains and a new black leather blazer that he had bought recently. He looked hot.

But the second he saw you, dressed in an old t-shirt and shorts, he let the leather blazer slip from his shoulders as he announced that he would now stay home with you.

You tried to convince him to leave, you really did, but Jaemin refused to go without you, repeatedly shaking his head and shoving his fingers into his ears whenever you spoke while the others took that opportunity to slip out to go to the party.

“I wasn’t going to go without you” Jaemin tells you as he decides to grab a bottle of water instead of something to eat, closing the refrigerator door and leaning against it. He takes a sip of the water, staring at you. “You stay, I stay”

You cross your arms over your chest. “You should’ve gone… I feel bad for making you stay here—”

“You’re not making me stay” Jaemin interrupts you, putting the bottle down on the table and stepping forward to cup your cheeks in his hands. “I’m staying because I want to… It’ll be boring without you there anyway”

“No it wont”

“Yes it will” Jaemin argues back, smooching your forehead loudly before he lets his hands drop from your face to walk around you. You remain in your spot, eyes wide and skin hot at the little affection he just gave you. What the hell? You slowly raise your hand, placing it over the area he kissed and you blink, struggling to find your voice and even to move your feet from beneath you.

Jaemin casts a glance at you over his shoulder, brows furrow in confusion but the corner of his lips twitch upwards. Cute. He allows himself to smile, watching as you finally make a movement, turning on the balls of your feet to come over to where he’s standing next to the sofa.

His fingers wrap around your wrist once you’re near, tugging you down with him as he sits. Your body is pressed against his side, his arm loosely hanging around your shoulders, playing with the material of your shirt as his free hand reaches for the TV remote, turning on the TV and searching up Netflix, scrolling through the shows and movies to find something for you both to watch.

You took this moment to really look at him, eyes scanning over his facial features and his outfit for the night. You bite at the inner skin of your cheek to stop you from smiling at the thought of how attractive he looks tonight. He always looks attractive.

The way he carries himself and how confident he seems just radiates attractiveness, his mysterious and quiet persona he shows in public is so different to the cockiness and the talkative side that you are now so familiar with, the way he smiles with his teeth on show makes you feel warm.

“He hasn’t been like this in a while” You recall Jeno telling you a few days ago over lunch. “He’s smiling for real again... I’m happy”

Was there a time where Jaemin didn’t smile? Was there a time where he faked a smile for everyone? The thought of it makes you feel upset and you can’t help but frown, the action not going unnoticed by the boy sitting beside you.

Jaemin doesn’t say anything, but the arm that is loosely draped around your shoulder brings you closer into his side, hand gently smoothing your head, fingertips massaging your scalp and you lean into his touch instinctively.

The lips that press against your temple briefly felt more intimate than it should and you pull back from his embrace, meeting his gaze once you look at him.

“Are you alright?” Jaemin breaks the silence between you both. “What are you thinking about?”

“The party” You lie easily through your teeth. “I still feel bad that you got ready to go and now you’ve changed your plans to stay here with me… you should go”

“Okay” Jaemin sighs and you’re shocked at how easily he gives in, opening your mouth to speak but Jaemin beats you to it. “But only if you come with me”

“What?”

“I’ll go if you go” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders. “I was going because I thought you were going, nobody told me that you weren't until I found out earlier… If I’m going to this party, I want to go with you”

“I can’t” You mutter, embarrassingly looking down at your lap. “He’s going to be there”

“He won’t do anything” Jaemin reassures you. “I’m pretty sure I scared him off the last time you were with him... “

“I know that, it’s just—” You exhale through your nose. “It’s stupid, nevermi—”

“Tell me” Jaemin looks sincere when he says that, eyes big and curious as he nods his head for you to continue. Your heart thumps heavily. “It’s okay, tell me”

“I still get scared to see him” You admit, bashfully ignoring his gaze, finding interest in the striped lines of your shorts. “Feelings and memories come back, it makes me feel sick… I don’t feel like myself when I’m around him, I go quiet and I struggle to move away from him— I feel like I get trapped. I would love to go to this party and have fun with you and the others… but what am I supposed to do when I see him? What if I start panicking or what if something happens—”

“You got me” Jaemin cuts you off and you immediately raise your head to look at him. You blink, breath suddenly caught in the back of your throat as you stare at him in astonishment.

“What?”

“You got me” Jaemin says again with a whisper as he pushes your hair out of your eyes, smiling at you in reassurance when he promised you those three words. You let it replay in your head, repeating the words to yourself before letting it sink in, allowing yourself to believe as a smile creeps onto your own lips.

“I got you”

Jaemin’s fingers wrap tightly around your own as you push your way through the sea of bodies once you enter Sunwoo’s house, holding you close so you wouldn’t accidentally get dragged into the crowd which nearly happens as a girl you recognise from your classes screams your name to great you, her pupils dilated as she propels forward to catch your lips in a messy kiss before turning her attention back to the people around her, throwing her arms up in the air with a joyful yell.

Your mouth drops open in complete shock, staring over your shoulder at the girl as Jaemin continues to tug you through the crowd with a laugh, capturing the little moment in the corner of his eye. He easily guides you through the people, leading you both towards a large lounge area, a wide smile covering your face as you spot your friends sprawled across the chairs.

Miwoo happens to be the first to notice you both as she pulls away from Jeno’s lips, lifting herself hastily out of his lap to skip over towards you, throwing her arms around yours and Jaemin’s shoulders to bring you both into a hug.

“You guys made it!!!” Miwoo cheers loudly, stumbling backwards from the hug but she grasps onto your hard to steady herself as she points at Donghyuck with an evil laugh. “Told you they were going to change their minds!!! You owe me twenty, babyyyy!!!”

“Fuck you” Donghyuck grumbles with a scowl as he digs inside his pocket for his wallet, throwing a twenty down on the table which Miwoo happily snatches up, stuffing the bill inside of her bra before she skips back to Jeno who grins widely, wiggling his brows suggestively as he stares down at her cleavage, leaning forward to smother his face between her breasts.

Haru blows a kiss your way and Renjun nods to acknowledge your arrival, reaching out to grasp Jaemin’s hand in a quick handshake. The greeting reminds you that Jaemin is still holding your hand with his free one and you’re quick to untangle your fingers from his own, walking over to Yangyang, Donghyuck and Shotaro who are laying back against the couch cushions.

Donghyuck remains grumpy over the loss of the bet while Shotaro laughs at Yangyang’s slurred words, covering his mouth as he rolls to his side, unable to control the movements of his body as he uncontrollably laughs. The strong stench of marijuana hits your nose as you sit yourself in their small circle, rolling your eyes as Yangyang’s head rests on your shoulder and his arms slither around your waist.

“How the fuck are you so out of it already?” You ask, frowning deeply as you’re unable to make out Yangyang’s response so you turn to Shotaro, grabbing his chin gently and making him face you to check to see if his eyes are red. “Oh, did you not smoke?”

“Not yet” Shotaro shakes his head with a smile, pointing to Donghyuck who grabs a lighter from his pocket to spark up a joint. “Donghyuck said I can share his”

“You’ve drunk a lot already, though” You state as you feel the warmth on his cheeks. “You’re not really supposed to smoke weed after having too much alcohol, ‘taro… sometimes it can cause you to—”

“I know” Shotaro nods his head in understanding, reaching to grab your hand as it falls from his face. He squeezes it tenderly as he sends you a smile. “I’ll be okay, I promise!! You don’t need to worry about anything. I’m safe with you”

“Aw” You coo softly, heart warm at his words and Shotaro’s smile widens, his thumb drawing patterns on the top of your hand.

“Hey gerrrr uff my grrr” Yangyang’s voice slurs from beside you and the two of you turn your head towards him, his arm flailing outwards to try and push Shotaro’s hand away from yours while the other is still wrapped around your middle, holding you tightly.

You laugh at his slurring, pushing Yangyang’s sweaty bangs out of his face and he hums, a cheesy grin spreading across his lips as he digs his head into your shoulder further, nose brushing against your neck.

You let out a hiss and recoil back as you feel Yangyang’s teeth nip your skin, smacking your hand over the sore area as you stare at him in bewilderment.

Donghyuck lets a puff of smoke escape past his lips as he gawks at Yangyang. “Dude, did you just bite Y/N?” Donghyuck laughs loudly. “You kinky fucker!”

“Shurrrrrup” Yangyang slurs again, trying to go back into the same position he was in but you shake your head, grabbing his face between your hands and his eyes wide slightly before he smiles widely. “Hellooo, babyygrrrl”

“What the fuck have you taken, Yang?” You ask him, noticing how drowsy he actually is and how he’s unable to hold up his own weight. His eyes droop. “Have you been anywhere?”

“A guy came over and gave them a baggy” Shotaro tells you as he gestures to Yangyang and Donghyuck, the latter giving Shotaro a hard look.

“What?” You snap, sending a small glare his way as your motherly instincts kick in. “Who?”

“I don’t know who he is, I’ve never seen him before… I think he might be from a different college” Shotaro explains to you and you sigh, looking back at Yangyang whose eyes are now focused on you, seemingly admiring your features with a small smile. Your attention is brought away from him when Donghyuck calls your name.

“The only person who’s supposed to be selling tonight is Sunwoo” Donghyuck tells you as he takes another hit of his joint before handing it over to Shotaro. “Sunwoo refused to let anyone inside if they were carrying their own shit… you know what he’s like”

“Yeah, I’m aware” You mutter. “I’ll be back”

“No? Wherrrre?” Yangyang pouts, trying his hardest to tighten his grip around you but you easily slip away and push him back down to the couch once he tries to follow you.

“I’ll be back” You repeat, ignoring the way Donghyuck’s worried eyes watch you walk away. You didn’t even notice Jaemin’s eyes on you as you left the lounge area.

Finding your way to the kitchen was easier said than done. You struggle to push through the mass of sweaty and drunk bodies, colliding with almost every you saw and muttering a quick sorry whenever they’d look at you. Some found it funny and even asked you to stay and dance with them but you declined, giving them a fake promise to join them later before rushing off to your destination.

You move through the double doors of the kitchen, entering the wide, back and white marbled room that you know oh so well. You’re not surprised to see it almost full with small groups of people: some drinking, others making drinks, some unable to tear their mouths away from each other while others are unable to tear theirs from a cigarette or a joint.

You step further inside, standing on your tiptoes to see over the heads of people, trying to spot who you were looking for and you almost give up until you see him. Sunwoo leans against the kitchen counter on the far end of the room, dressed in an all black outfit with a black cap fitted on his head, messy curls peeking from beneath. A girl, who you realise is Karina, stands beside him with her hands resting on his arm as she watches him reach behind himself to grab a little baggy that contains white power.

The sultry smile that spreads across Karina’s lips could make anyone fall to their knees but Sunwoo remains unbothered as he holds the baggy in front of her face, waiting for her to take it which she soon does, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek and slipping money into his front pockets before taking the baggy and disappearing out of the back door into his garden.

He’s still the same. You shake your head, heading straight towards him with no hesitations despite your heart beating like crazy and your palms becoming sweaty.

Sunwoo must’ve felt someone approaching him because the second you come near, his head turns to you. He gapes in surprise once his eyes lay on you, his open mouth quickly turning into a wide smile and without any hesitations or awkwardness, he pushes himself off of the counter and scoops you up into a hug for a greeting, squeezing you excitedly.

You’re startled at the sudden friendliness, not expecting him to greet you this way like he usually would’ve when you were dating Eric. You want to blame his behaviour on the drugs that he’s probably already consumed before you arrived when you see the little bags of powder, pre-rolled joints and all sorts of pills that lay behind him on the kitchen counter but, truth be told, you never ended on bad terms with Sunwoo so, realistically, he was allowed to greet you this way.

“Holy shit, you actually came” Sunwoo chuckles and the sound brings you out of your thoughts, and you quickly reciprocate the hug when it dawns on you that you’re standing still. He rocks you both back and forth, seemingly thrilled to have you here.

You part away from him after a few seconds and Sunwoo adjusts the cap on his head as he grins at you. You want to smile back, seeming as though nothing went wrong between you both, but something keeps screaming at you in the back of your mind telling you not to.

“I can’t believe you’re here, I didn’t think you’d come. It’s really good to see you. I don’t see you around that much on campus anymore” Sunwoo babbles at a fast pace as he jumps up on the kitchen counter beside his stash, swinging his legs back and forth like a child as his nimble and quick fingers roll another joint. You’ll forever be fascinated and how fast he could do it. Sunwoo licks at his teeth as he looks up at you. “You look good. Have you changed your hair? You look pretty tonight. Do you want a joint? You can have mine if you want, I won’t charge you”

You almost get whiplash at his sudden change in topics, trying to keep up with his words which are fast and slightly jumbled due to the stuff he’s taken, and you surprise yourself at how easily you can still understand him after not speaking for months.

“I’m good, thanks” You dismiss, shaking your head. “Is there anyone else selling at this party?”

“What?” Sunwoo furrows his brows. “No, it’s just me and my boys. You know that I won’t let anyone come in here with their own shit”

“Some guy sold Donghyuck and Yangyang something… It’s affecting Yangyang”

“Someone sold Hyuck and Yang something?” Sunwoo repeats your words slowly and you nod your head to which Sunwoo giggles at. “Darling, I’ve sold shit to them earlier. I’ve given them—”

“It’s not the joints” You interrupt, eyeing the drugs beside him suspiciously to check if there’s anything odd but your attention is soon focussed on Hyunjin and Felix who come near and grab a few pills, selling it to a few people you fail to recognise and watching as they shove the cash into a money back. You point accusingly at them. “Did you sell anything to Donghyuck and Yangyang tonight?”

Felix’s eyes are wide as he looks between you and Hyunjin before he points at himself. “Me?”

“Both of you. Either of you. Was it one of you?”

Felix frowns. He shakes his head. “No. We haven’t seen them all night”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, princess, but I’ve been pretty much avoiding that little group of yours since my ex is fucking one of your best friends” Hyunjin smiles sarcastically and you give him the same smile, clearly unimpressed with his tone. “So, no, we haven’t sold them anything”

You turn your head back to Sunwoo to see him already looking at you, rolling another joint for the umpteenth time for the night and sending you a small tight lipped smile as he shrugs his shoulders while Felix walks off, dragging Hyunjin along with him in a hurry.

“I promise, nobody else is selling here… he probably drank too much and smoked a—”

“Oh, hey, you’re here?” That voice. That fucking voice. You didn’t want to turn around and see his face, nor did you want to hear his voice again. You try to focus on the music that plays faintly in the background but you struggle to do so once you see Sunwoo’s face light up as he looks over your shoulder.

You feel his hand gently pat your arm, wanting you to turn around to face him but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it yet, you were glued to the ground.

You try to steady your breathing. In through the nose. You almost flinch as he steps around you to stand in front of you. Your eyes meet his. Out through the mouth.

“Are you okay?” Eric sincerely asks, ducking his head slightly to get a good look at your face. “You haven’t drank too much already, have you? Do you want me to get you some water?”

“I haven’t drank anything” You find your voice. It’s quiet, but you’ve found it. “I’m fine”

“I didn’t expect you to be here tonight”

“Yeah…” You nod your head slowly. “Me neither”

Eric smiles softly while Sunwoo drowns out of the conversation, getting involved in another with a bunch of people who came up to him for one thing and one thing only. Eric reaches out and tugs at your arm as someone barges into you from behind, stumbling over their own feet and slurring an apology as they rush to get out through the backdoor and into the garden.

You go to shrug off his touch but Eric removes his hand before you can do so, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. Sober Eric is so different to drunk Eric. Your heart pangs against your chest as you fully look at him, taking note in his well kept appearance. Why does sober Eric make you feel weird? You didn’t even want to spare one glance at him when he was drunk during Jeno’s party. You try to tear your eyes away from him but you physically can’t.

“I’m glad you’re here, by the way” Eric says and you give him an odd look. Eric grins at that. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you—to apologise, actually”

You gulp. “What for?”

“For being a drunk idiot and making you uncomfortable at Jeno’s” Oh. “I just got too excited seeing you and wasn’t really listening… I was being a little selfish and inconsiderate. I’m sorry I ruined your shirt too”

This wasn’t exactly the apology you were hoping for, but the thought of hearing any sort of apology come from him after everything made it feel as though a small weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. What the hell is happening? You could see how genuine his apology was due to the fact he couldn’t exactly look you in the eyes, fiddling with his fingers and scratching at his nails.

“It’s okay, I forgive you” Why would you do that? “You were drunk, you didn’t mean it… I was a little drunk too so, it’s fine”

Eric nods his head and finally meets your eyes once more, giving you one of his best smiles. You force yourself to smile back, awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck as you watch Eric dig something out of his pocket.

“Since the apology part of this conversation is over and we seem to be on good terms—” Eric pauses, pulling a baggy out of his pocket and holding it high. “How about it, huh? For good old times?”

You stare wide eyed at the two little red heart shaped pills that lay comfortably inside the baggy, past memories instantly coming to light and your chest tightens. You’re reminded of the good parts of the relationship you had with Eric, how you’d both take that exact pill whenever you went to parties together. Why was he showing you this?

Watching him shake the pills out of the baggy makes you want to vomit yet at the same time, you yearn for it. You yearn for that euphoric feeling that came with the drug, nothing but happiness and joy filling your veins and ridding any of the negativity you had but you didn’t want to experience that with Eric again. You didn't want to be anywhere near him when you know it’ll make you melt straight into his touch.

“It’ll be fun” Eric says again once he notices your hesitation. “We used to do this all the time. I promise, it’ll be fun”

“Used to” you manage to find your voice after staring at the happy little pill for so long. “We used to”

Eric hums, nodding in agreement, but still persistent. “But we had fun, right? We loved doing it! That happy feeling… Do it with me?”

You feel disgusted in yourself for hesitating, for second guessing if you wanted to take the pill or not. He outstretches his hand to show you the pills laying flat against his palm. You’ve been in this situation way too many times before to know how this goes. He’ll place the heart shaped pill on his tongue and press his lips to yours, transferring it from his tongue to yours before popping his own pill.

Do you want it? Are you willing to fall right back into his arms once you do it? Even after everything? You’re in disbelief at how conflicted you are and Eric examines your features, a smile spreading across his face as he realises that you’re fighting an inner battle that you’re destined to lose and he goes to lay the pill on his tongue until a hand reaches out in front of you both, startling you.

Jaemin plucks the pill out of Eric’s hands, remaining eye contact with the pink headed boy as he sticks out his own tongue, placing it on the wet muscle before his hand rests on the back of your neck to pull you forwards, mushing your mouth against his and thrusting his tongue between your lips, transferring the pill onto your own tongue with ease. He gives you one last smooch before pulling away from the kiss, popping the remaining pill into his mouth.

Eric stares at you both with wide eyes in complete and utter shock at the scene that just played in front of him, his hands dropping to his sides and his fists clenched as Jaemin refuses to lose eye contact with him, annoyance clearly seen on his face.

You’re without a doubt shocked but turned on by Jaemin’s little act, swallowing the pill with an impressed grin and you’re quick to grab ahold of his arm to drag him away from Eric whose jaw tightens as he watches you both leave the kitchen, shaking his head in disbelief as he turns towards Sunwoo who was already watching, brows raised in surprise.

“What the hell was that about?” You quiz as soon as you are out of their sight, fighting the urge to blush as he takes his arm from your grasp to throw it over your shoulder, fingertips playing with the ends of your hair. He doesn’t answer, so you call out his name. “Jae?”

“Been watching you for a while, saw how uncomfortable you were” Jaemin shrugs nonchalantly. “I told you, didn’t I? I got you”

“Yeah, yeah, you got me”

“Plus, I wanted to show him”

You raise a brow. “Show him what?”

Jaemin turns his head to look at you, a smirk slithering it’s way onto his lips as his eyes roam over your face. He bites down on his bottom lip. “Show him what he’s missing out on, baby”

That damn fucking pet name. Fuck the crowd. Your lurch forward to meet his lips and Jaemin laughs but places his palm on your cheek, deepening the kiss while struggling to guide you back to the lounge area so you decided to remain still, ignoring the other bodies around you who are either in the same position or dancing to the music that blasts from the speakers.

You melt into Jaemin’s touch, fingers gripping the necklace that dangles from his neck to bring him as close to you as you possibly could. Groups of people holler around you, whistling and shouting your names but neither of you part away from each other, continuing to let your lips mold together and get lost in each other as if nobody else was around.

You feel happy.

That’s the word you will describe yourself as right now, surrounded by your loving friends, dancing freely to the music that blasts from the speakers, enjoying the presence of other people around you who are in the exact same position. They are happy.

Your vision is slightly blurry, but you can just make out the faces of your friends and the bright neon lights that flash from above. You lean your head back to stare up at the lights in utter awe, it was a pretty sight to see.

Jeno’s arm flings around your shoulder to capture your attention and you dizzily look at him, noticing that his pupils are double in size and you are most definitely certain yours look the same, so does Miwoo’s who hangs off of his arm, swaying and mouthing the lyrics to the song you struggle to hear properly.

Haru and Renjun stand beside them, their bodies moving together to the music, Renjun’s hands digging into Haru’s hips to hold her close while her own run down his chest and over his arms. Renjun’s teeth bite down on his bottom lip as Haru rubs against him, quickly bringing her in for a kiss.

Donghyuck, Yangyang and Jaemin smoke together on your other side, laughing with each other over the smallest of things while Shotaro dances with Yeji, making sure to hold her tight as he dips her down before pulling her back up with a giddy smile.

Everyone is so happy.

Your attention is brought to Jeno and Miwoo when you feel them move, giggling as you watch them lock lips in front of you messily. You make a noise of complaint when you feel Jeno’s arm tighten around your shoulders, making the pair split apart from each other and look at you. You feel as though everything is going in slow motion as Miwoo nears you, a smile playing on her face as she leans in to kiss your lips softly.

Jeno gasps at the sight, slapping the palm of his hand over his mouth as he watches Miwoo kiss you, small giggles leaving you both, unaware of the audience watching you. Haru, being used to this kind of behaviour from you both, cups her hands over her mouth and hollers loudly while Renjun laughs.

Jaemin seems amused as he watches, licking his own lips and Donghyuck and Yangyang stare at you in shock, mouth wide open as they struggle to form a correct sentence. Miwoo parts from you, struggling to hold herself up as she laughs loudly and you’re unable to stop your giggling, almost tumbling backwards but Jeno’s quick to stop you both from crashing down.

Miwoo looks between you and Jeno for a few seconds, eyelids fluttering as she tries to focus on you both before she smirks, placing one hand on the back of your head and the other on the back of Jeno’s before pushing your heads together.

Jeno’s eyes drift from Miwoo’s to yours and down to your lips, not showing any uncertainty in kissing you while you, despite not being the most sober person in the room, feel a little hesitant in joining the three-way-kiss that Miwoo so desperately wants but you reacted a second too late, already feeling Jeno’s lips brush against your own.

Jeno’s tongue glides against your bottom lip and Miwoo’s plays with yours. You’re certain that the position the three of you are in looks odd and unattractive, but feeling their touch and their hot and heavy breath hitting your skin makes you no longer care about the others watching, that’s until you are reminded of who’s standing near.

You pull away almost immediately, unable to control your laughter which Jeno and Miwoo ignore as they get lost in each other's embrace, almost tripping over your own feet as you turn around to face the boys who are already looking at the three of you.

Donghyuck looks like he wants to join Jeno and Miwoo, his hands twitching as his sides and Yangyang stares directly at you, wanting to pounce and kiss you stupid which it seems like he was about to do but he gets blocked by Jaemin who takes a few strides forward, bending down to throw you over his shoulder, his hand holding down your skirt so you wouldn’t flash anyone as he carries you away from the crowd.

Everyone’s eyes are on you. They’re watching you both, some in shock and others in amusement. The majority of the party don’t even recognise what exactly is going on and they don’t realise who you are… but some do, a few of them do. They know exactly who you both are, and they’re not happy.

The journey to wherever Jaemin was taking you was a blur, you couldn’t comprehend where the hell you were while hanging upside down on Jaemin’s shoulder. You uncontrollably laughed all the way, gasping and pinching the back of his thighs whenever he teases you about dropping you.

His hand still held your skirt down securely, glaring at anyone who had dared to look at your bare legs for too long or even tried to peek up your skirt. Jaemin almost kicked a guy who tried to reach out and touch your skin, wanting to join in on the fun.

Jaemin gently places you down on the ground once you’ve reached your destination and you balance your giddy self on the wall, looking around to notice you were in a bathroom. Sunwoo’s bathroom. You giggle as you catch your reflection in the mirror, extending your arm out to touch the glass but it drops to your side once you hear the bathroom door lock.

“Did you lock us in here?” The way your voice sounds sends shivers down Jaemin’s spine and he grins, his eyes dark as he slowly nods his head. You smile, fingers toying with the material of his shirt as you pull him towards your body, looking up at him oh so innocently. “What are you going to do to me?”

“I want to punish you” Jaemin speaks so lowly, voice deep and scary. He kisses your lips slowly but he pulls back before he allows himself to get lost in it. “But I also want to make you feel good”

The grin remains on Jaemin’s face as he lifts up your skirt, fingers toying with the elastic strap of your underwear before he drags the material down your legs while dropping to his knees on the harsh floor as you sit up on the bathroom countertop, hands stroking your thighs up and down. You try to control your erratic breathing, swallowing a lump in your throat as you watch him slowly inch forward and lick a clean strip between your folds.

Your body jerks at the action, mind swirling with excitement and a giggle makes its way past your lips at the way Jaemin stares at your exposed pussy. His mouth waters and he’s afraid that he’ll start dribbling. His cock grows hard in his pants and it becomes so uncomfortable that he’s considering taking them off but all he wants to do right now is dive between his girl's legs and devour her pretty little pussy.

Jaemin pauses for a moment. My girl? His eyes meet yours as he lifts his head upwards, taking in your appearance and the giddy smile that’s on your face. Yeah. My girl.

His attention focuses on your pussy as he leans forward again to press a kiss to your lower lips, tongue darting out to taste you. Your fingers thread through his hair as he laps at your slit, gasps leaving your lips and your hips bucking at his touch. His hands grip your thighs again to throw them over his shoulders, locking him in place as you cross your ankles behind his head.

The sounds of your cries and him lapping at your folds fill the room, your fingers tugging his locks as his tongue flicks over your bud of nerves. He grunts whenever you pull his hair, the sound sending vibrations to your core and you slump back against the mirror, head thrown back in bliss. You struggle to hold back the loudness of your voice, your head spinning as the wonders of his tongue makes your body burn and your eyes shut tightly. The band in your stomach snaps and you cry out as he gathers all your juices on his tongue, continuing to suckle and lick at the mess you both have created.

“Who the fuck is in the bathroom?!” A voice yells from outside the door, fists banging against the wood. Jaemin doesn’t let up on his antics despite the person on the other side of the door kicking up a storm, cursing and threatening to fight whoever is fucking around in the bathroom where they're desperate to pee.

You squeal, gripping the strands of Jaemin’s hair as the oversensitivity hits you, trying to pull him away from you core but Jaemin is much stronger than you, hands gripping your thighs to keep him in place between your trembling legs.

His tongue circles your clit, sliding down to prod at your entrance all while staring up at you, relishing in your broken down moans and cries. His scalp burns from the immense amount of times you’ve ripped at his hair, your weak attempt to get him off of you but he would not stop.

The person on the other side of the door left once hearing your noises, grumbling about having to piss outside in the cold. Neither of you cared, too engrossed in the pleasure to care about another person's needs.

“Too much!! Too much, Jae!!” You mewl, tears streaming down your cheeks as Jaemin continues to eat you out as if he’s been starved for weeks, securing his hands around your thighs to keep them locked around his head. The way your body shakes only eggs him on further, licking and sucking as much as he could to make you gush on his tongue again.

You scream once you come undone on his tongue, body convulsing at the feeling of him lapping up everything you gave him. He shrugs your legs off of his shoulders to stand, your legs feeling like jelly and your breath coming out in short pants but he doesn’t even allow you to recover as he’s already yanking you off of the countertop.

You get dizzy at the speed Jaemin spins you around, his hands roaming down your back and over your hips before resting on your ass, squeezing tightly. Your palms lay flat against the countertop, eyeing Jaemin’s reflection in the mirror and you feel hot under his gaze, the way he stares down at your body with that cocky smirk makes your heart thump wildly in your chest.

You watch as he unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants, ready to pull them down his legs but Jaemin freezes, eyes wide as he stares at nothing but it makes you grow nervous. You stand up straight, twisting your body around to face him and you cup his cheek with your hand, grabbing his attention.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have a condom…”

You wanted to cry. You can feel the tears of frustration starting to build. You’re horny. You want Jaemin to rail you so hard against the bathroom counter that you’ll forget to walk later on. Jaemin seems to be having the same inner dilemma, his hard cock desperate to be let free from the confinements of his clothes.

You lick at your lips. “Just fuck me”

His eyes flicker to yours, they darken. “What?”

“Fuck. Me” You speak slower this time. “Fuck the condom… just fuck me”

Jaemin doesn’t need to be told twice, nodding his head frantically without even thinking about anything else, eager to be inside of you.

Once you’re spun back around, forearms leaning on the countertop and back arching, Jaemin steps behind you with his pants and boxers pooling around his ankles. You meet his gaze in the mirror when his hands rest on your hips as he pushes himself slowly into you, the head of his cock entering your sensitive core.

You wail, the feeling of him bare inside you sends something hot in the pit of your stomach and you grip the bathroom countertop from the burn of oversensitivity, unable to keep yourself upright as Jaemin continues to ease his big cock inside of you.

His eyes roll to the back of his head once your ass is against his pelvis, flesh against flesh. You struggle to grasp for something, anything, but you’re only met with a few bottles aftershave and tubes of toothpaste.

Seeing your problem, Jaemin takes it upon himself to grab your arms and pull them behind your back, holding them tightly as he pummels inside you at a speed you couldn’t comprehend, your head lolling downwards with incoherent sounds spilling from your lips as he fucks you dumb.

Grunts and groans leave Jaemin each time he pounds into you and you involuntary squeeze around him, his bangs laying messily against his sweaty forehead and he struggles to meet your eyes in the mirror. Your mouth hangs open, wheezing short and quick breaths, unable to let out another noise as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

Jaemin chuckles so evilly, slamming his hips faster and his cock rubs against your walls. Your body buzzes with numbness, your cheek resting flat against the countertop as you allow him to do whatever he wants.

“Baby~” He hums teasingly, pulling your body upwards by your arms and wrapping his own around your middle once your back presses against his chest to keep you upright. Your head slumps back on his shoulder, your fucked out expression sends tingles straight down to his cock. He whispers nothing but filth in your ear as his hips thrust brutally, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing in the room, completely overtaking his hoarse moans.

With a few frantic and sharp thrusts, Jaemin stills as his cum paints your inner walls, a hiss leaving his lips as your pussy clamps around him. You coo at the warmth that spreads down below, feeling his cum leak out of your pussy as he fills you to the brim, trickling down your thighs and pooling to the floor.

Jaemin’s breathing heavily, gently kissing your shoulders and your neck to help calm down your shaking body, his hands massaging your sides and your stomach, rubbing soothing circles into the skin.

You regain your vision once you feel his fingers rub the tops of your thighs, meeting his gaze in the mirror and you give him a tired smile, completely relaxing into his embrace but you tense a little when his teeth snag at your earlobe, grabbing your attention.

“Don’t ever kiss Jeno again”

“I feel like death. I want to die” Miwoo groans as she waddles into the living room the next morning, dressed in one of Jeno’s oversized hoodies and a pair of sweats. She plonks herself down on the loveseat, folding herself in half and cuddling the cushion with a whine. “Everything hurts… feels like my insides are about to fall out of every hole in my body”

“I don’t even remember getting back home” You admit, trying to recall the events of last night but you sigh as nothing comes to mind, looking down at Jaemin who’s laying between your legs on the sofa, head resting on your stomach as he sleeps soundly.

“We all walked back here at, like, four in the morning” Haru tells you, covering her mouth to yawn before digging herself further into Renjun’s arms, his fingers gently playing with her hair. “Apparently there was a big fight after we left and Sunwoo kicked everyone out”

“Aw, shit… I hope somebody recorded that” Miwoo pouts, changing her position on the loveseat with a huff, rubbing her hand across her stomach as she looks over at you. She smiles cheekily. “You seemed to have a lot of fun last night”

“Don’t remind me” You groan but you can’t help but laugh at the situation. “That was your faul—”

“Oh, I’m not talking about the three-way-kiss” Miwoo shakes her head, grinning madly. “I’m talking about you and Jaemin going upstairs to fuck, which, by the way, everyone saw”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t think properly. All you wanted was the ground to swallow you up immediately. You slap your hands over your face in pure embarrassment and stupidity while Miwoo, Haru and Renjun laugh at your misfortune, clearly finding it utterly comical how you had managed to do something so stupid.

Rule number two: No telling anyone. Don’t make it public. You’ve broken it, that’s exactly what you both had done. You begin to have hope that people were too out of it to realise what you and Jaemin had done but the image of him kissing you displayed itself in your mind. In front of everyone. In front of Eric.

“Fuck” You curse at yourself, dropping your hands to your sides and looking down at Jaemin, chewing harshly on your bottom lip as you try to think of a solution to possibly save both of your asses from embarrassment but nothing comes to mind, especially when you’re reminded of the conversation you had with Jaemin previously before.

He wants to be exclusive fuck buddies. He wants to just fuck you. He wants to be touchy and teasing in public. He said he would wait for you to be comfortable enough to become exclusive, that he wouldn’t force you into anything. Well, you’re not being forced… and you must be comfortable enough with him considering you initiated a few of the public kisses yesterday… Maybe you are ready?

You tear your eyes away from Jaemin as you hear a sound, spotting a very hungover and tired looking Jeno who trudges into the living room, wearing just a pair of plaid pajama pants and his hair sticking out in every direction possible, glasses almost sliding off of his nose.

He easily scoops up Miwoo in his arms and she grunts at the sudden movement but she relaxes her body once Jeno sits down in the loveseat with her on his lap, cuddling her into his chest.

Renjun snorts. “You look like shit”

“I feel like it” Jeno mumbles, not even taking Renjun’s slight insult to heart as he yawns, running his fingers through his locks to try and tame it. A sigh flies past his lips. “I hate to admit it, but I think that was the best party I’ve ever been to. Sunwoo throws some good parties but last night definitely topped every single one”

“You know, for it to be a Yeeun and Sunwoo party, I don’t think I saw Yeeun once” Haru states, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. “Was she even there?”

“Apparently she stayed out in the back garden’s pool all night getting high and being dared to skinny dip” Miwoo picks at her chipped nail polish with a scowl. “She even asked Jeno to join her”

“Good think I stayed inside” Jeno grins, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively as he looks between you and Miwoo. “I would’ve missed out on all the action”

You flip him off just as Miwoo slaps his chest, making Jeno hiss out in pain and caress the sore area. Haru and Renjun appear amused at the situation, staring at you all with smirks on their faces which make you want to roll your eyes and flip them off too but the movement between your legs grabs your attention.

Jaemin’s awake now, his head still resting on your stomach and he keeps his position in between your legs beneath the blanket but he moves slightly to stare over at Jeno. You crane your head down to try and read his facial expression but with the hard look in his eyes, you’re unable to.

Jeno meets his gaze and he coughs to clear his throat, dropping his arm from his chest and points at the blanket that wraps around you both, hoping to change the subject. “Why did you both sleep in the living room?”

“Donghyuck, Shotaro and Yangyang are spooning in my bed” You explain, stretching out your limbs as Jaemin finally moves, letting out a yawn as he stands up from the comfort of your embrace, quietly excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

Unbeknownst to you, your friends share a look with each other as you get up from the sofa and make your way into the kitchen, holding your stomach as it grumbles, desperate to be fed with something greasy and delicious that you sadly don’t have in your refrigerator.

Haru is the one that suggests you both take a trip down into town to grab a few burgers and Miwoo offers to tag along. Renjun and Jeno decide to stay here and the three of you head to your rooms to get yourself ready and you snort as you enter your room, seeing Shotaro shoved in between Yangyang and Donghyuck, the three sleeping peacefully while holding each other.

You grab a fresh pair of underwear along with your jeans and a shirt, deciding it’ll be safer to change inside the bathroom where Jaemin stands, staring at the hot water that spouts from the showerhead with a blank expression but once he turns to look over his shoulder and spots you, a soft smile creeps onto his lips.

You get ready in front of him while explaining the plan and Jaemin nods along, sharing a few kisses with you here and there whenever he’s able to duck his head down and capture your lips. He offers to come with you after his shower but you shake your head, letting him know that the rest of the boys are staying and that he should spend as much time in the shower as he wants instead of rushing to which, reluctantly, he agrees.

“Don’t be long” Jaemin tells you between tender kisses, cupping your cheeks in his hands. “I’ll kick the boys out of your bed once you get back so we can go in there and binge watch a show or something”

You snort. “Good luck with that, they’ll probably want to join”

The corner of Jaemin’s mouth twitches upwards just as he presses another kiss to your lips. “I’ll lock the door”

Your mouth waters at the smell of freshly made burgers, the signs that hang on the wall makes your stomach growl louder and you can’t help but buzz in excitement when you notice that the waiting line isn’t that long.

Miwoo stands beside you, wide eyes scanning over the menu and whispering lowly to herself about how this would be the second best thing shoved inside of her mouth to which Haru smacks the back of her head with a laugh.

You let Haru and Miwoo do all the talking once it’s time to order, only speaking up when they had forgotten or to add something extra in case you were all still hungry later on.

“That spicy burger looks amazing” Miwoo almost drools as she watches her food being wrapped up. She tugs on Haru’s arm excitedly. “Look at it!! I’m going to cream my pa—“

“Miwoo” You hiss her name, punching her shoulder in warning as customers look at your friend in disgust. She shrugs, completely unbothered by her own words and she continues to jump up and down. Haru remains unbothered too, allowing Miwoo to jump and rag her around without complaints. Her patience is unreal.

The three of you hand in your money for the food, not letting the other be the only one to pay after a few minutes of arguing about it. Haru, being the sweetest one ever, wanted to pay for them all but you refused, shaking your head quickly and not even allowing her to negotiate while Miwoo already had the money in her hands, ready to hand it over at any time.

“Are you three arguing over food again?” A familiar voice chuckles from your left. You all face the person that belongs to the voice, a wide smile spreading across each of your lips as you spot Johnny standing a few steps away from you with an unfamiliar boy at his side. “Why am I not surprised?”

Haru’s the first to react, greeting Johnny with a handshake and even patting the boy on the shoulder. Miwoo happily gives Johnny a hug and he ruffles her hair, only to get slapped and cursed at afterwards.

“Oh, guys! This is Hendery!” Haru introduces the handsome guy as Johnny wraps his arms around you for a hug. Hendery waves shyly. “He’s the new worker at the shop. The guy that broke his toe quit and Hendery happened to apply at the right time”

“You” Miwoo jabs her finger at Hendery’s chest and he blinks in shock, opening his mouth to speak but he ends up stuttering, so he closes it instead. Miwoo eyes him up. “You are one attractive guy. Damn!”

Hendery’s cheeks flush red. “Oh. Thank you”

“She has a boyfriend” Johnny tells him before he could get any ideas, harshly flicking Miwoo in the forehead with his freshly painted nails and she yelps, cradling the area with a frown.

“I’m looking at him respectfully!!” She glares at Johnny before her gaze softens at Hendery. “Plus, Jeno said I can look… I just can’t touch without him”

Hendery’s eyes almost bulge out of his head as he repeats her words. “T-touch?”

“Ignore her” Haru shoos Miwoo away and she giggles, looping her arm with yours as she leans into your side. Haru starts a conversation with the two while you and Miwoo quietly bicker back and forth. You pinch her side whenever she starts suggestively waving or winking at Hendery, making him lose his focus on Haru and turning him into a flustered mess which brings joy to Miwoo.

She pesters you to join in but you refuse, not wanting to make Hendery uncomfortable but she teasingly pokes your boob when he looks your way and he almost trips over his own feet. Miwoo cackles at his reaction while you whack her hands away from your body, trying to stifle your own laughter.

“Fuck, I need to go to the bathroom” Miwoo says between laughing, pushing her takeout bag into your hands before rushing off in the direction of the restaurants bathroom. You chuckle as you watch her nearly ram herself into customers by tripping over her own shoes, apologising quickly before disappearing around the corner.

You look over at Haru whos still in conversation with Johnny and Hendery, and you allow them their privacy as you step to the side, grabbing your phone out of your pocket to send a quick text message to the groupchat to let them know that you’ll be back a few minutes later than planned, having a instant response from Donghyuck who threatens to beat your ass if any of the food comes back cold.

“You’re not her, you know” You hear someone state behind you. You scrunch your brows in confusion, wondering if the statement was directed towards you and you turn your head to see Mia, one of your classmates, standing behind you while a smug look on her face as she stares right at you.

“Excuse me…?”

“You’re not her” Mia repeats again and you start to feel yourself grow a little frustrated, sighing as your tongue pokes at your cheek in annoyance.

“Not who?”

“Eunbin. Jaemin’s ex-girlfriend” Your body instantly tenses at the name, the look of annoyance dropping from your face as you stare at her with a blank expression, unable to pick the right emotion to show despite feeling everything at once. Mia looks pleased with your reaction, a slight evil smile on her face. “Everyone saw you both at that party… You’ll never be her”

“I don’t want to be her” You manage to find your voice, holding your head high. “She’s his ex for a reason, right?”

“It doesn’t matter, she’s more than you will ever be” The cockiness in Mia’s voice makes your fists clench. You’re unsure why her words are affecting you so easily. “It seems like you’re just fucking him… so I guess you’re his fuck toy, right? You’re just filling the void she created when she left… I bet he’ll throw you away and forget about you when she comes back”

You blink. “Come back?”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Mia fake pouts as she pulls her phone out from her bag, tapping on the screen a few times before turning it towards you. You’re scared to look, but you finally muster the courage to tear your eyes away from Mia to look at her phone.

It showed Eunbin’s instagram story, a girl you have never seen before but her beauty makes you starstruck. She grins widely at the camera, holding a plane ticket in her hands with the caption saying: ‘going home soon!’. Your heart plummets to your stomach and Mia snatches the phone away, shoving it back into her bag.

“I feel bad” She fakes her sympathy. “I bet you thought you meant more to him… how sad”

“We’re not together” You speak monotone, eyes darting to hers. “He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just sleeping together, it doesn’t mean anything”

“Good” Mia smirks as she adjusts her bag on her shoulder, getting ready to walk off and leave this conversation behind but she stops walking as her shoulder brushes against yours as she comes past, leaning close to your ear as she whispers. “Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms”

You struggle to come up with anything, feeling useless as you can only stand still and watch Mia walk away proudly, leaving you alone. Your hands are clammy and they shake slightly, the sound of the takeout bags rustling and your loud heartbeat echoing in your ears, drowning out any other sound in the restaurant.

You couldn’t understand why you’re reacting this way or why her words were affecting you so much. Your head hurts and you desperately want to leave but you didn’t want to make a scene. There was only one thing repeating itself in your mind and you desperately tried to let it go, trying to block the question out with something else, trying hard to distract yourself but the question kept coming back.

Who was Eunbin and what the fuck happened between her and Jaemin?

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @ijuuy | @lalalovejeno | @m1ss-foodi3 | @ukiyone | @choppedupcactus | @generationct | @luckyonejaehyun | @dnylwoo | @parkchaeyoung1997 | @sunshinedhyuck | @daydreamiies | @ahgastayzen | @beingpeachy

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[weepingvoidpenguin]

One of Your Favorites

Jealous Bucky x Reader

Summary: You have an objective. Get Rumlow to confess. Simple enough, right? No. Aside from his usual condescending attitude towards you, Bucky has made it extremely apparent that he doesn’t think you’re capable of - well, anything, but especially not handling Rumlow. And yet, he is the biggest challenge of this entire ordeal.

Warning: T R I G G E R WARNING!! ATTEMPTED SA, DRUGS, language, light smut. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT READ IF SA WILL TRIGGER YOU. 

Word Count: 8.3k

   “We have good intel stating he’s working as a double agent for HYDRA. Selling information, exploiting tactics, even going so far as to tell them where we’ll be and when.” Natasha scanned the room, making sure she had everyone’s attention during the briefing. 

   You slouched back in your swivel chair and twisted to-and-fro slightly with your hands gripping the arm rests on either side. It took all of your willpower to act engrossed in her words. And you meant every single drop. You’d been paying attention, sure, but the only issue was the dominating presence two seats to your right and directly in your line of sight to Natasha. You rolled your chair to the left to clear the path for the third time, only for him to block your way without missing a beat. The growl that left your mouth was nearly involuntary. Nearly.

   How long would this man act like a child? Despite his graceful and seemingly unsuspecting movements, you were fully aware his placement was intentional. This was not the first, nor did you doubt that it would be the last, time that Bucky acted impudently toward you. Frankly, you’d grown bored of his behavior. It was the same thing everyday. He would act a nuisance during the briefings, speak over you whenever he had the chance, steal the limelight from you and invalidate any concerns or thoughts you shared. The whole charade grew tiring and he had been dancing on thin ice for months now.

   You averted your gaze from burning holes through the freshly washed, brown locks and switched your attention back up to the redhead. Thankfully, too, because you managed to catch the end of her sentence just as she locked eyes with you.

   “And that’s why Y/N is going to be the one to extract the information from him,” she finished.

   You blinked, “Wait, what?” 

   Bucky straightened his posture and threw a quick glance your way, “Yeah, what? She’s got no heat, couldn’t toast marshmallows if we gave her all day. She shouldn’t lead this, she wouldn’t know how,”

   “Well, tonight might be a good time to start learning, then,” Steve chimed in, throwing a wink your way. You smiled and appreciated his aid, not because you needed it but because at this point, you were seething and if you opened your mouth to defend yourself this meeting would go south, quickly. Luckily, Steve always believed you were capable of a great deal of things and knew you strove for more experience so any opportunity to lead or expand was one he thought you should take. 

   “Besides,” Tony spoke up, twirling a platinum pen between his fingers from across the table, “our little double-agent has always had the hots for Y/N so unless you’re gonna be the one to bat your eyelashes at him and get him alone in a room, Mr. Barnes, we have to use his own flaws against him.” He turned to face you and held up a hand, “Not to say that liking you is a flaw, you’re great Hot-Stuff but exploiting him is our best option indefinitely,”

   “Do I have to seduce him?” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest and raising a brow towards Nat, trying your damned hardest to avoid the unmistakable glare the brown-haired super soldier was sending your way. 

   “The only thing you have to do is extract any information on him that you can. Get him a little drunk, catch him in a slip-up or two, take note of any inconsistent stories and be on your merry way,” she reassured, “How you manage to do that is up to you,”

   “Ooh, extortion,” Clint chirped up from the far back corner, his hands rubbing together maliciously around an arrow he pulled from his sheathe, something you noticed he did a lot when he was uninterested; be it a person, mission, or conversation.

   “No. Not extortion,” Steve shut it down and you chuckled at how Clint’s countenance fell into one of disappointment. 

   “Not yet anyway,” Natasha mumbled and you sighed as she walked around the room and handed each of you a folder with your individual objectives inside.

   “But he’s such a pervert,” you grumbled.

   “All the easier,” 

~

   The rest of the day was drudged with Nat while she taught the pertinence of body language (both yours and theirs), verbal ruses, and overall ensnarement. You bat your eyelashes until you were certain you would catch enough wind to fly away, smirked enough that your cheeks began to ache and raised your eyebrows ‘til you felt the impending wrinkles on your forehead. By the end of the drill you weren’t sure you were even going to make it to the company party from the migraine creeping its way on.

   “How’s the bait coming along?” His voice alone caused you to roll your eyes but you paid no mind while you rubbed at your temples and stood up alongside Natasha.

   “She’s not gonna be able to lie to me any time soon but she can flirt her way to whatever she wants,”

   “Benefits of targeting a narcissistic misogynist, they don’t think anyone can fool them.” Tony belted as he sauntered into the room with strawberries, offering them out to you while he munched on one.

   “She’ll still mess it up,” Bucky countered, “Make someone else do it,”

   You plucked the fruit off Tony’s tray and examined it, trying to figure out whether you were going to consume it or use it as a weapon.

   “I really appreciate your words of encouragement, James. Unfortunately, they’re not wanted, nor are they needed.” You bit into the fruit and glided towards the door, looking over your shoulder at the super soldier, “So unless you actually have something to contribute, I suggest you stay the hell out of my way while I get the job done,”

   Nat walked out behind you and handed you a tiny, skin-colored device meant to conceal itself and you placed it in your ear. 

   “The conversation is gonna be recorded so we can catch any inconsistencies. We’ll all be able to hear what you’re saying so tread on delicate waters but don’t be afraid to shake mountains if you have to,”

   You nodded and opened your door for her to enter your room knowing she’d want to help you get ready for the event. Natasha, shocking as it turns out, enjoys company while preparing for events. She would much prefer to be surrounded by people than be alone. You never had gall to ask her why that is. Or maybe you respected her too much to ask.

   An hour had passed, maybe two, but you enjoyed the silence between you both. There was no need to fill the empty quiet when it was so comfortable and welcoming. You two spoke without words at times and that was probably your favorite personal skill. Eventually, there came a knock on your door and you opened to find Wanda with her flat iron and make-up bag in tow. It’d long since been decided that your room was the gathering center.

   Wanda helped you finish touching up your outfit and you waited on your bed while they finished getting ready. Nat occasionally quizzed you on certain situations and how you should act depending on the tones and moods of the conversation. You tried to explain that you didn’t have difficulty reading a room but Nat tested you all the same. 

   “And if he puts his hand on your thigh?” She called out from your bathroom.

   “Then he loses it,” you practically sang in response.

   You were met with a flying hairbrush and laughed at the onslaught.

   “You’re not the only one with that mentality,” Wanda called out as well, her iron glossing over thin strands of hair.

   “Nat knows I can handle myself.” You sat up on the bed and went over to your closet to collect your favorite pair of shoes to go along with the formal attire Nat selected for tonight. “What a coincidence that we happen to have a company party the same night we have to extract information,” you hollered over your shoulder, moving aside terribly worn shoes while you scoured for the pair you had in mind.

   “This objective has been in the works for weeks now,” Nat released the tendril of hair from around the barrel and pinned it to her head so it could cool.

   “Wow, thanks for the heads up, then.” You gripped the desired pair and placed them beside your nightstand for later.

   “The plan wasn’t solid until we knew for a fact that Rumlow was coming. It’s a company party so it’s not mandatory but once he heard you were making an appearance, it didn’t take very much persuading,”

   You rolled your eyes and plopped back down on your mattress, “He’s so annoying, I doubt I can hold much of a conversation with him,”

   “Take a shot or two to ease your nerves, if he sees you drinking it’ll put him at ease too. He’ll be more inclined to drink,” Natasha recommended. “But don’t act too out of character. If you were always curt and short with him and suddenly you start acting over-friendly, he may get suspicious. He’s an idiot but he’s a paranoid one,”

   You nodded, taking a mental note to have a half-empty bottle in your grasp when Rumlow arrives. If he thinks you’ve already been drinking, he might also consider catching up. 

   “Y/N? Not uptight for once?” Wanda sarcastically questioned. “I can’t picture it,”

   “Oh, fuck off,” you grumbled and in turn received laughter from the two girls. “Besides, of all of us I’m by far the least uptight. Barnes takes the cake for that one,”

   There was a beat of silence that you didn’t register before you were met with a response.

   “Ya know, he’s not as bad as you paint him out to be.” Nat unpinned the curl from her head and moved on to the next section, “He’s got some serious loyalty and always willing to volunteer first for everything,”

   You lifted your head to stare at her reflection through the mirror, “What are you talking about? He’s annoying and irate and lacks a filter,”

   “Mmm, irate isn’t the word I would use,” Wanda countered, looking over to Natasha.

   Nat shook her head in response, “I’d lean more towards . . . over-protective,” 

  “Much better,” Wanda agreed.

   You squinted your eyes at their image and felt the corners of your lips turn downwards, “Over-protective? Since when are you two defending Barnes?”

   “We’re not defending him, per say.” Wanda glanced over to Nat, “We’re just trying to give you a fresh perspective,” 

   “You could give me a brand new pair of eyes and I’d still see him the same,” you retorted, now leaning on your elbows due to the strain on your neck. 

   They ignored the comment, “And he’s only annoying to you,”

   “You’re telling me he doesn’t annoy you at all?” You asked, an eyebrow raised.

   “More like . . . he doesn’t go out of his way to mess with us.” Nat applied a nude color onto her lips.

   “So you agree that he goes out of his way to irritate me,” you stated rather than asked.

   “That’s been made very apparent,” Wanda responded. “But you have to wonder why,”

   You huffed a little and sprawled back out on the bed just to result in staring at the ceiling above. If you looked hard enough your mind would create pictures from the chaos of the cracks and shapes began to form. Sometimes, when the night lay still and life seemed to dwindle at the edges of your reality, you could swear a familiar face fashioned together and your imagination ran wild with the images you’d see. Some that brought a warmth to your cheeks even now. 

   You shot up out of bed and shook the memories from your vision. Ugh. He haunts you even when he’s not actively tormenting you. How he’s managed to crawl his way so deeply within your skin you had no idea but you fought for control of your thoughts whenever you caught them slipping into that hellhole.

   “Or slipping into euphoria,” Wanda chimed in.

   “Wanda!” You scolded, crossing your arms, “Euphoria my ass,”

   “Yeah, he thinks so too,” she continued and you chucked the abandoned hairbrush back their way. 

   “Stay out of my head,” you jokingly sniped at her but was met with a low chuckle.

   “I didn’t even have to be in your head to know what you were thinking of,” Nat defended and caught your weapon of choice.

   “Are you guys done yet?” You rolled your eyes and stretched yourself out before swiping up the pair of heels you’d chosen and sliding them onto your feet.

   “Why? Are you in a hurry to see a certain someone?” Natasha teased and Wanda let out an eruption of laughter.

   “All right, I’m done.” You made a beeline for the door and threw it open, “Lock up when you’re finished!” You bellowed over your shoulder and made your way to the top floor of the building where all the parties are typically held.

   You didn’t run into anyone on the way up and you used that time to calm yourself, prying inch by inch away from the invasive thoughts that called for you in the darkest hours of the night. But, then again, maybe those tormenting thoughts weren’t that bad? You mean, he certainly IS handsome, very much so actually. And he has the most knee-wobbling smirk you’d ever come to know, not to mention those little tricks he does with his knives always manage to entrance you. God, did he know how to use a knife. 

   On more than one occasion had you caught yourself staring at how his hands encapsulated the hilt of the blade. How they clenched and relaxed, drawing out some of the more prominent veins on one of the extremities; of course, you were even more so enticed by the hand he hid as well. You’d imagined what it felt like to have such strong hands grip onto your thighs and coax you into spreading them open with just a few teasing touches here and there. You couldn’t fathom the front you’d put up would last very long, he was stellar at pulling reactions from you. He’d see you break under his caresses and he’d degrade you like he always did but this time it’d emit a different response from you, one that made you whimper and shake. At that, he’d probably call you a good girl, he definitely seems the type to switch between degradation and praise, and would press his mouth up just where you wanted it the most. You’d try your hardest to be quiet but damn the way that tongue moved against you and the way he’d pull you harder against his face at each sound of pleasure you let slip past your lips. He’d enjoy it, too. Eyes closed as he devours you, he likes to put on a show for you to watch. Give you a memory that’ll slick your thighs later that night if he hadn’t fucked you into a coma by then. He’d make you watch him and if you dared to close your eyes you’d earn a firm, cold smack on your ass. He knows you like when he uses temperature play. He growls a little too, he can’t help his innate behavior. Then, just as the accumulation is coming to its apex he’d pull away abruptly and kiss you straight on your mouth so you can taste yourself and that’d earn him another whimper which would result in another smack that leads to that cold metal trailing its way to your core and just as he pushes the tip of his finger inside-

   You cough and straighten your posture as the elevator door opens. When had you leaned up against the back wall of the elevator? Oh Gods, you could feel the slick at the apex of your thighs and you squeezed them together as inconspicuously as you could in fear that you were producing a . . . scent that would be rather difficult to conceal. But the slick only grew worse when you locked eyes with the person stepping into the elevator.

   Fuck.

   “That’s what you chose to wear?” He asked, a certain venom in his tone that immediately calmed the ache in your heat.

   “And what would you have me wear instead, Barnes?” You quipped back, your body facing forward as he took his place beside you in the cramped space.

   There was a beat of silence. Then another. “Not that,” he responded.

   “Well I’ll make sure to ask you next time since you have such impeccable taste,” you retorted, your eyes yet to abandon the sight of the closing doors.

   You weren’t sure of all the effects of the Super Soldier Serum that had been injected into Bucky and all that it heightened but you prayed to any God that would listen that his hearing wasn’t one of those things. You were too preoccupied with attempting to settle the hot pulse beating between your legs to worry about how loud your discomfort came across.

   “What do you look so nervous about?” Bucky’s gruff voice prodded. “You can’t possibly be nervous about the mission considering how big-headed you are,”

   You took a deep, long breath and held it to soothe you. Had you not been so previously preoccupied, you’d have given him hell for the insult. “I’m not nervous about that,” you sniped and rested back against the cool wall to satiate your burning skin before lifting your gaze to him only to find him already examining you.

   “Of course not, I just said that,” he retorted, bringing a gloved hand to his face to rub along his jaw, “there’s obviously nothing for you to worry about,”

   You scoffed, “And why is that, Barnes?” Cue the dramatic crossing of your arms. 

   “You’re smarter than Rumlow and significantly better trained. Overall, he really doesn’t hold a candle to your ability,” He paused for a second, his whole frame tensing until he remembered to relax, “But that’s not really saying much considering it’s Rumlow,” 

   You hadn’t noticed you raised your eyebrows until you felt your face fall, “Ah, there he is. You had me worried there for a second, Barnes. Thought you might actually try something new and display common decency for once,”

   A corner of his mouth turned up subtly and he shook his head. You trailed your gaze down to his hidden hand and stared long enough to burn a hole through the fabric.

   “If something’s bothering you, Dollface, go ahead and speak up,” 

   You weren’t sure what possessed you to say anything, especially knowing how touchy the subject was for him but the words left your mouth anyway, “I don’t know why you insist on hiding yourself,”

   He lurched his head back, your statement seeming to have a physical affect on the man and you mentally slapped yourself for saying anything.

   “I’m not hiding myself,”

   “But you are,” you interrupted, your thoughts coming out in pools of candor, “you aren’t your hand. You aren’t your past. You are you. Presently. You’re not the Winter Soldier anymore. That’s not even the same hand you had back then. It’s not tainted and neither are you. I say drop the gloves,”

   “And why would I care about what you say?” He growled, his eyebrows furrowed together and his neck tight in potential restraint.

   The elevator dinged and you looked towards the opening doors, “You don’t have to but they don’t look right with your suit either.” You walked through the exit and sauntered over to the others who had already gotten the party started, leaving Bucky dumb-founded behind you. “I need a shot,”

   “Already ready,” Tony quipped up, holding the small glass in the air for everyone to behold before bringing his cheek to yours in mock welcoming, “This’ll up your tolerance for the next hour, try to get all your drinking done within that time-frame,”

   You pulled away with a warm smile after faux kissing his cheek, “Finally!” you displayed and threw the liquid back in one swift motion, your face scrunching together against your will.

   “Yeah, she’s got a kick to her,” he mumbled and handed you a fruity drink to chase it down with. 

   You went around and said hi to everyone as you recognized most of those present. You made small chatter with those lesser known and drank the liquid in your hand significantly quicker than you’d like to. You excused yourself after you finished the drink and walked over to the bar, scanning the room as you were handed another glass. No Rumlow in sight.

   You headed towards the foosball table and gripped the handles after setting the beverage down on the counter beside you. You flinched as a reflection of light caught your eye and at first you thought your glass was the source. Until your eyes fixated on the reflection’s actual origin. To your far right, and up a few steps you found Bucky conversing with Steve, a dull light emitting from his hand. Not a glove in sight.

   “So, where’s your boyfriend?” Sam inquired when he filled the opposing spot.

   You rolled your eyes, “Bucky’s not my boyfriend,”

   “Bucky?” Sam’s tone chirped up teasingly, a knowing look wearing on his face.

   Your grip tightened around the handles and you slowly pulled away to throw the little white ball through the circle, your hands immediately twisting the miniscule players around. Your eyes shot back and forth, your sight never leaving the darting sphere. Sam still managed to win the first point.

   “Ha!” He shouted in triumph, bringing his finger up as if to scold you, “Don’t think you got away with that comment either, Y/N,”

   “What comment?” you questioned and gulped most of your drink before slamming it back down on the table.

   You heard your earpiece come to life with quiet static and you tried to keep your face masked. Rumlow had entered. Not a surprise either, the party was finally starting to pick up now.

   Sam threw the ball in and you turned the players meticulously this time, brute strength hadn’t helped you earlier so maybe you should take it slow. Steve made his way over to the table and threw his drink back, the liquid trickling down the side of his face before he wiped it away. Sam won the second point.

   “I play winner,” Tony chimed, standing beside Steve.

   You made a point to catch up and now you two were tied at three each. 

   “Best out of five?” You proposed, quirking an eyebrow at Sam.

   “If you didn’t want to play anymore you could’ve just said that,” he teased and you smirked at him as Tony made a subtle show of handing you another drink and you finished your second. “Loser takes two shots?”

   “Deal.” You nodded, knowing you didn’t have much of a choice as a small crowd began to form around you two. Rumlow amongst them. 

   Your jaw dropped when Sam shot the ball directly into your goal as soon as he’d let the ball go.

   “What the fuck?” You shouted, “No fair! That doesn’t count!”

   Thor erupted in laughter to your right and you blinked slowly, staring at the gargantuan man. 

   “It most certainly does,” Sam shouted back, his grin practically touching his ears.

   “Sam, take it easy on her,” Bucky muttered from beside him, quickly averting his gaze from yours and his expression loosened, “The brat hates losing,”

   “Brat?” You snarled.

   Bucky took a swig of his beer, watching you the entire time and you reeled back the fire beginning to form in your chest just to bring your drink up to your lips and chug the entire thing down. You handed it over to Tony who left to replace it. 

   “Last point,” Sam stated, “It’s not too late to quit now,”

   You shook your head and blinked away the feign distortion you were supposed to have. “Just play the ball,”

   “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he teased and threw the ball in. 

   You wanted to win. Desperately. But you had a character to play tonight and she was supposed to be drunk. So you hit your hand against the corner of the table just as Sam happened to make the winning point. You grumbled and threw him a glare when Tony broke through the crowd.

   “Coming through,” he shouted, handing two small glasses to you while you gripped your knuckles in pain. “Noooo, you’re not getting out of taking these. C’mon, take your punishment,”

   “Yes, Daddy,” you grumbled and cringed at your own words when the realization hit you. Whatever. You were supposed to be drunk, anyway. 

   “Daddy?” Tony quipped and pulled the drinks back towards himself, “Maybe you should be cut off,”

   “What?” You argued, leaning slightly on the table with your hand and snatching the drinks from Tony’s hold, effectively spilling some on yourself. “See?” You lifted up the half empty shot glass, “This barely counts as a shot,”

   “I’ll get her a new one,” Rumlow offered and disappeared before anyone could argue. 

   “She really doesn’t need another-” Bucky tried to interject and take the shots from you but you twisted around and chugged down the one full glass.

   Water.

   You looked up at Tony and his smirk was barely noticeable. But you could tell. Bucky nearly ripped the other drink from you but Tony blocked his path and you exaggerated your next drink as Rumlow broke back into the crowd, shot in tow.

   “Here.” Rumlow’s calloused hand held the drink up above you and you stared at him with a questioning look. “Open,” he ordered and the fire burning in your chest fought to destroy everything in its vicinity. You bit your lip in refrain but tossed your head back and opened your mouth.

   Static broke over your earpiece. Don’t drink that! Wanda’s voice erupted.

   Your eyes widened as the liquid made its way down but you coughed hard to stop whatever you could. 

   Why? Steve’s voice came through right after.

   You choked on the liquid and shut your eyes at the way it burned its way down. You reached your hand out to grab someone’s drink to ease the burning and grasped a tall glass and tossed it back. The burning didn’t ease up and you felt a hand rest on your back.

   “Are you okay?” Rumlow’s voice rang out and your skin nearly recoiled from the contact, “How about we get you some water?”

   You looked up at him when the burning subsided minimally and nodded your head, letting him lead the way to the bar. He parted the crowd and someone took step right behind you to follow when the presence suddenly died out abruptly. You turned around to check who it had been and found no one.

   Why? Steve asked again.

   Where’s Wanda? Bruce broke through.

   You lifted your head and flitted your gaze around the room until you found the familiar Sokovian on the couch, laying down with her eyes closed. You pulled away from Rumlow but his grip on your hand tightened and his steps grew in haste. You whirled your head to yell at him but the way the room swayed with the movement cause you to shut your mouth in surprise. 

   Didn’t Tony say you would have a higher tolerance?

   “Couch...” you muttered, pointing over your shoulder just in case your target was curious enough to ask but the message was delivered.

   Rumlow hoisted you up onto the bar stool and stood on your open side, using his body to keep you from falling over. Or to cage you in.

   “I don’t feel good,” You rested an elbow on the countertop and held your head up.

   “I can’t imagine you would. You’ve been chugging those drinks like they’re water.” Despite that, Rumlow motioned to the bartender and asked for two more.

   You giggled and your head lulled forward with the action. You let Rumlow catch you from tumbling over. Why did your body feel so heavy? Not to mention the way everything around you dazed about. You couldn’t catch a single action, let alone attempt to read Rumlow’s body language. But you did happen to notice the way his eyes searched the room before coming back to you.

   “You okay?” You rested your forearm against his chest and pushed slightly to allow yourself a better view of his face.

   A small smirk, “Am I okay? What about you?”

   You smacked your lips and brought the ice cold glass to your lips. That’s not water. “I’m doing reeaalllyy good,” you drawled.

   Rumlow chuckled and pushed you deeper into the chair, “I can tell.” He took a sip, his attention never faltering from your body, “Just be sure to pace yourself from here on out,”

   You made a show of cocking your head to the side and letting a smile sprawl onto your face as you studied him. 

   “What?” he questioned, a curious lift in his brow.

   You shook your head gently and kept your gaze on him over the brim of your glass, “You’re just . . . not what I was expecting,”

   “And what were you expecting?” 

   Don’t forget to bat your eyelashes. “Worse,”

   “Sorry to disappoint,” he jeered, his attention once again cast throughout the room before centering back on you.

   You followed his action but quickly came to the conclusion that moving any pace faster than a sloth was going to make you nauseous and you could barely keep a thought together. Your stomach began to rise in your chest and the fear seized your throat shut. Why couldn’t you hold onto a thought for longer than a second? It was like you were aware of your lack of consciousness but could do nothing about it because any thought or bout of panic phased through just as soon as it arrived.

   “What are you so tense for, Rumlow? You know you’re not currently on the clock, right?” You teased, your head leaning on your shoulder as you spoke.

   He brought his drink up to his lips and finished it off in three gulps, “I’m not tense. It’s just hard to turn it off sometimes,”

   You nodded slowly and pushed your drink towards him, “Relax. You know everyone here,”

   He shook his head and placed your drink back in front of you before asking for another beer.

   “And two shots!” You shouted to the bartender, throwing two of your fingers high up and instantly regretting how fast you’d done it.

   “Are you trying to get me drunk?” He asked you, a side smirk beginning to form.

   You placed your finger over your lips and hushed, “Shh, I won’t tell if you don’t.” You dragged your lower lip down and his eyes fixated to commit the scene to memory. “Besides, I always feel dumb if I’m the only one drunk,”

   He motioned to the rest of the party, “Believe me, Sugar, you’re not the only one enjoying yourself,”

   “But are you?” 

   “Am I what?” 

   “Enjoying yourself?” 

   Your skin crawled when he placed his rough hand on your barren thigh, “Absolutely,”

   Don’t forget what you’re here for. Don’t let the objective slip. Gods, how the fuck were you supposed to retain anything when you were so sleepy? And why was it so warm?

   “Hot,” you mumbled, fishing around in your glass for an ice cube to rub on your face.

   “Thank you,”

   You threw your head back in laughter and nearly earned yourself an up-close and personal view of the floor had Rumlow not wrapped an arm around your waist and held you steady. Once he was certain you weren’t going to toss yourself onto the ground, he parted your legs and stood between them to keep you rooted to your seat.

   All the movement had you spinning and you white-knuckled Rumlow’s cotton shirt to keep yourself grounded to something, anything. Red warning lights were firing up in your chest and you tensed with the way your body buckled to the panic coursing through you. Your heart pounded in your ears and danced across your skin, lighting it on fire and making the room too stuffy to bear. Please, no. Not now. Focus. Snap out of it. Come back, stay back. Your breathing hitched and you looked down at the sensation crawling its way up higher on your thigh. Too hot. Everything was too hot, if you didn’t get out of this now you would never-

   “Vision!” You cheered, happy to see your friend.

   The presence on your thigh recoiled slightly.

   “I’m taking Wanda to her room, seems she’s had a bit too much to drink,” Vision informed and you’d only just then noticed the body in his hold.

   “Wanda!” You smiled, admiring her peaceful features as she slept in his arms. You poked at her cheek then jerked your gaze back up to Vision. “What? Wanda doesn’t drink,”

   She’s not acting, Sam’s voice erupted in your ear and you flinched at the sound. 

   Vision’s eyes went from you to Rumlow then back to you slowly, “Y/N . . . are you okay?”

   You beamed at him and slowly brought up your thumb. “Good,” you responded.

   You followed Vision’s gaze back up to Rumlow and smiled at the agent beside you. You guess he’s kind of cute. In a strange, unsettling way.

   “She’s had a lot to drink, so we’re just trying to slow down the pace. Aren’t we, Y/N?” Rumlow looked down at you.

   You nodded fervently, “Yup!” 

   Vision hesitated but knew he didn’t pose much of a threat with Wanda in his arms unconscious, so he quirked a smile and walked towards the hall.

   Someone get to Y/N, something’s not right, Vision ordered and you lifted your head up to find him. You could have sworn he just left.

   “Here.” Rumlow handed you a glass, “Drink this, it’ll cool you down,” 

   You stared at the glass in his hold and looked up at him, “You drink it first,” you slurred, holding your finger up at him.

   He cocked his head to the side but took a swig of the drink and you watched it go down his throat. You shrugged and grabbed at it.

   Do not drink that, Nat ordered from somewhere and you looked around in wonder at who she was yelling to.

   Bucky, Sit down! Steve growled.

   Like hell, responded a voice you knew all too well.

   Your smile grew and you looked through the crowd, “Bucky!” You feverishly called, completely expecting to see him before you. Rumlow’s head lifted instantly, his eyes scouring the area.

   “I’ve got this, Pretty Boy,” Tony hastily spoke, “How ya doin’, Hot Stuff?” He interrogated and you reeled at the tone.

   “Quite well, thank you,” you responded tenaciously and attempted to take a swig of the drink in your grasp.

   Tony’s hand shot out and covered the top, slamming the cup back down on the counter and effectively getting the drink all over your dress.

   “What the fuck?” You tried to shout but the words came out heavy and required too much energy to speak.

   “You’ve had enough for tonight,”

   “It’s just water,” Rumlow defended but Tony paid him no mind.

   Your jaw dropped open and you glared at the older man. Who the hell did he think he was? Tony’s stare burned through your skull and despite your irritation, you couldn’t help but wonder why he was so pissed.

   “Are you mad at me?” You drawled, lulling your head to the side.

   “No,” he responded curtly. 

   “Am I being too loud or something?” You pushed. You couldn’t imagine you were any louder than any other drunken bastard at this party.

   “No,”

   Get her out of there or I swear to God I will, his voice hissed into your ear.

   Your eyebrows rose slightly in excitement, “Mmm, Bucky,” you smiled and Tony nodded.

   “’Mmm, Bucky’ is right. Wanna go see him?” Tony offered, sticking out his hand for you to take.

   You fell forward into Rumlow’s chest but shook your head furiously none the less, “For what? So he can tell me I’m horrendous at my-”

   Oh shit. Your job. The job.

   If only your body didn’t feel so heavy and your mind so light.

   You pushed off Rumlow’s chest and glared at Tony, “I can handle myself,” you insisted, a new sort of sober tone making its way through that caused him to do a once-over. “I know what I’m doing,”

   “How many drinks have you had?” Tony challenged and you fell silent.

   Then you felt a tap, and another and a few more.

   “Six,” You said, hoping you’d counted right.

   Tony, don’t you even fucking consider it, Bucky threatened.

   “You could at least change, recuperate and then come back,” Tony offered and you sighed a breath of relief before nodding.

   “Deal,” you agreed, “I’m hot anyway,”

   Tony gave you one last glance before turning around and blending into the crowd on the other end of the room.

   You looked up to Rumlow who’s gaze was still locked on the sea of people, “Don’t you wish you’d taken that shot now?” you tried to jeer, every last word bringing you deeper and deeper.

   “Are they always that intense?” He questioned, not turning his attention to you.

   “They can be over-bearing,” you admitted, hand grabbing the water from earlier and pressing it up against your forehead, “They consider me the baby so they’re always criticizing and suffocating until I just wished they’d disappear.” You took a gulp, “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the family and I like that I have a cause but . . . they don’t let me do anything. It’s exhausting,”

   You let out a long breath and smeared the condensation from the glass onto your chest. Rumlow studied you then, not just your body but your reaction. He was watching how you dropped your shoulders at the confession and how you faced your back to them to block them out. 

   You plastered your torso on the countertop and tried to slow your heartrate down. You couldn’t be the only one here unfathomably hot.

   “Why is it so fucking hot?” You questioned, fanning yourself weakly.

   “There are a lot of people around,” Rumlow offered, “how about we go somewhere else? Tony did say you had to change,”

   You peered up at him through half-lidded eyes and meekly groaned in compliance. “Fine,”

   You lifted yourself away from the counter and gently placed your feet on the floor. You’d touched the ground faster than anticipated. Had the ground always been so close?

   “Don’t worry, I gotcha.” Rumlow threw an arm around your waist and helped you trudge towards the elevator.

   Where the hell are you going? Bucky yelled and the sound of shuffling could be heard from his end.

   We can’t let you leave with Rumlow, Y/N. We’re not even sure you’re acting anymore, Sam stated.

   Rumlow pressed the button when you couldn’t muster the strength to do it yourself. The level that your room was on lit up and the doors began closing. You thought you saw Rumlow wave at someone but the mock smile on his face didn’t make it seem like a warm good-bye.

   Your legs had all but given out by the time the elevator reached your shared floor. 

   “Heavy,” you muttered, letting Rumlow carry your weight fully.

   “I know, Sugar. We’re almost there,” he soothed and you conceded to the fatigue wearing you down.

   Your head hung low and your arm dangled uselessly at your side. The familiar sound of your door sliding open caught your attention but you did nothing. You couldn’t. 

   “How . . . know . . . my room?” You questioned, each word causing you to pull from an empty well of energy.

   “I’ve been here before.” Rumlow tossed you onto the bed and sprawled you out.

   “Oh. Ok.” You tried to turn on to your side but strong hands gripped down onto your ankles.

   Rumlow sighed and slipped the heels off your feet, examining the pair like he wanted to wear them. You extended your feet until you felt every muscle in your leg stretch to its capacity and let out a groan of pleasure at the release. Those shoes hurt so bad.

   “You seem . . . intelligent, Y/N.” Rumlow dropped your shoes onto the floor and slithered to the side of your bed, standing beside it with his hands tucked into his pockets.

   A bead of sweat trickled down your forehead, “Hot . . .” you croaked and he nodded.

   “You’re right. It is getting kind of hot.” He brought a hand up to his neck and ripped off the tie hanging around it.

   Get the fuck out of my way, a growl erupted in your ear.

   We’re going with you, Buck, Steve responded before knocking something over.

   “So, what I have a hard time understanding is. . . why you’re here?” 

   You groaned a weak ‘huh’ but even that didn’t sound right.

   “You’re good at what you do, you finish every mission successfully and yet you’re underappreciated.” He took a seat at the foot of your bed and placed one of your legs into his lap, “Why do you allow them to treat you like that? We wouldn’t,”

   The shuffling in your earpiece halted.

   “We?” 

   He began to massage your calf and brought your knee up to his lips, peppering light kisses on it. “We could use someone with your skillset, babe. We’d take real good care of you,”

   The shuffling started again.

   Rumlow had made his way onto your thigh at this point and you let out an involuntary moan when he skimmed over a delicate part on your inner knee.

   “Ya like that?” he questioned but didn’t wait for a response. He brought a hand up to his temple and grabbed the earpiece. You figured he just hadn’t taken it out from his earlier shift but when he pulled it apart, you understood why he always kept it on him.

   “Flash . . . drive earpiece?” Your weak tone tilted a little. “W-why tell . . .”

   “I figured I’d give you the option to leave since you seem so . . . suffocated. If you said yes tonight then I would remind you tomorrow. If you didn’t,” he chuckled, “well, you wouldn’t remember anyway.” His hands trailed to your mid-thigh and you squeaked. “I’m impressed though, I’ve never given anyone else as much as I’ve given you tonight. The drug usually works so quickly on others, but not you. It’s kind of hot, actually,”

   Sick fuck, Natasha growled through a ragged breath.

   The world around you was slow or maybe it was you that was slow? You couldn’t tell, honestly. But when Rumlow moved as if he could predict your actions before you could make them, you wondered whether you were moving at all.

   “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon,” Rumlow sighed.

   You shook your head, or thought you did but despite the way your body was live-wired, it remained still against all desire. 

   Fight. Move. 

   You managed to push your legs shut but his hand slithered between and spread them open similar to opening a door, but this required much less force.

   “Kill,” You threatened and the sinister smile that crawled its way onto Rumlow’s face was vile enough to sink your heart into your stomach.

   “Kill is fucking right.” Someone snarled and your door was ripped from its hinges.

   Rumlow’s hand jerked away from your body and Bucky seized his open palm, intertwining their fingers and pushing Rumlow’s so far back that they touched the back of his own hand. The cracks were sickening onto themselves but had you not been so weak you would’ve turned from the sight altogether. You really couldn’t fathom how his fingers were still attached at all.

   “Lay another hand on her and you won’t be able to use it again.” Bucky spit.

   Despite Rumlow’s pain, the sinister smile remained sprawled on his face, “You should’ve heard the noises she made,”

   Bucky’s grip tightened and the bones in his palm broke next, “I did,”

   Natasha flew in right behind Barnes but completely dismissed the two and headed straight for you with a needle in hand. Your eyes shifted from the needle to Nat’s face and back again until she stabbed it into your upper arm. Ouch. 

   “Wha-”

   “Shh,” Natasha hastily hushed, “Keep your strength, you should be back to normal soon,”

   Steve came behind Nat and scooped you up to lead you out of the havoc going on in the room. Nat turned her focus to Bucky and reached over to grab the earpiece from Rumlow. Who knows if his nose will ever heal back normally. You held one finger in the air as Steve stepped over the splintered door.

   “Goddamit, Y/N,” Steve huffed, jogging towards the elevator and pressing the floor that led to the infirmary.

   “We won,” you croaked out, a small smile on your face and Steve shook his head.

   “I’m never going to hear the end of this,” 

   Steve looked you up and down for bruises but couldn’t find any and you promised you weren’t lying to him when you told him Rumlow did not get very far in his ‘advances’ at all. You had to swear the mid-thigh was the worst that it came to. 

   Bruce was the one that took a few blood samples and made sure everything was reversing back to normal. Apparently, as soon as Rumlow took you to the bar Tony handed Banner the shot glass that Rumlow gave you and Banner ran analysis on it. The cure was pretty easy to find.

   After being given strict orders to lie down for the next hour or so, it had been decided that Rumlow was to be turned in considering all the evidence required to make the arrest was in the flashdrive and everyone was to gather together for a ‘family night’. Whatever the hell that meant.

   You were in the middle of debating which movie to pick with Steve when the infirmary doors flew open.

   “Where is she?” Bucky nearly shouted upon seeing Bruce.

   “That’s my cue.” Steve stood up just as Bucky rounded the corner, “If you need anything me and Banner will be right over there,”

   You smiled and thanked him then turned your attention to the super-soldier who just arrived at the foot of your bed.

   He didn’t say anything for a while, just looked at you. No, not really. Not at you but through you. A few painstakingly slow seconds went by that way.

   “You owe me a new door,” you joked, a half-smile on your face.

   “Are you okay?” He asked, finally registering your presence.

   You nodded slowly, “I am,”

   Then a few more seconds.

   Bucky turned his gaze down to his hands, both of them barren and on display for the world to see, before shifting his weight between either foot, “Did he- did he touch you?”

   “Not really. Just really liked my legs for some reason,” your attempt at another quip didn’t reach Bucky. He stared back up at you waiting for an answer, an honest one. You sighed, “The damage is more mental,” you admitted, now you were the one not able to look up, “I didn’t like being in this altered state of mind. It’s invasive and . . . scary. He could’ve done things, much worse things but it never got that far or that bad. It was more realizing that I wasn’t completely conscious or present and having that state of mind be taken advantage of, that mostly frightened me. Ya know?”

   “More than anyone,” he answered immediately.

   You looked back up towards him, finally making eye contact, “But I’m fine now, really. Just a little spooked. Steve wants to do a movie night tonight and I would actually prefer that over being alone.” Your eyes fixated on the way his hands clenched and unclenched on the bar by your feet, “If I’m alone then I’ll get stuck in my head about it. Besides, I consider this a hard victory with a few bumps in the road,” 

   He chuckled, lulling his head a bit, “You’re too stubborn for your own good,”

   You shrugged, “Maybe. How’s Rumlow?”

   Bucky hissed and moved over to the side of the bed where he took a seat, “He’s unconscious. And has a hand that he’ll never be able to use again. But other than that, he’s fine,”

   You chuckled and Bucky watched how the laugh met your eyes. He liked that look on you. It was one of his favorites.

   “Why are you looking at me like that?” You questioned once it fell silent between you two again.

   “You called me Bucky earlier,” he remembered.

   You scoffed, “I call you Bucky all the time,”

   “Not to my face,”

   “Not to your face,” you agreed, a teasing smile dancing on your lips and Bucky had one that mirrored yours. 

   “It was nice. Hearing it, I mean,” he admitted and a wave of warmth made its way to your face.

   “I see your hands are exposed,”

   He looked down as though he weren’t aware that he’d taken off his own gloves, “These bad boys? A friend of mine reminded me that I’m not my past. I’m my present. Why hide my growth?”

   You twiddled your thumbs together, “She sounds smart,”

   Now he scoffed, “Oh, it wasn’t a girl, it was some old buddy of mine.” He quirked up a brow, “Unless the person being a girl would make you jealous because in that case it was most definitely a girl,”

   You fought against the natural tug at the corners of your mouth, “Is she at least pretty?”

   “Stunning,” 

   “Smart?”

   “Genius,”

   “Good at her job?”

   “Amongst the best,”

   “Then consider me jealous, Barnes,”

   Bucky chuckled and you watched how the laugh met his eyes. You liked that look on him. It was one of your favorites.

#bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky barns x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x you #x reader #reader insert #bucky barnes x imagines #bucky barnes x you #jealous #possessive #enemies to lovers #Avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x you #avengers x y/n #thor x reader #thor x you #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda #wanda x vision #maximoff

[parkers-gal]

Hi. I was wondering if u could do a Tom x reader story where y/n will randomly show up on set of avengers with a bouquet of flowers and give them to Tom and the rest of the crew members are going on about how cute that is. I don’t know if u are still taking requests but if u are I would love to see this. Or where the reader will just randomly show up with cute little gifts for Tom and everyone thinks it’s super cute ?

hiii hope u like this :):

wc: 1.4k <3

something sweet

—

The fresh scent of flowers wafts through your nose and brings a soft smile to your face. You’re outside the building that houses Tom, a small card and a bouquet of flowers in your hands. You’re merely dropping off a small message to Tom whilst he’s on set, just to let him know that you’re thinking of him.

You’ve been going out for about a month and a half, nothing exclusive and nothing labeled, but he’s the only person you’re going on dates with, and you’re the only person he’s going on dates with. It’s pretty exclusive, to be real.

And, it’s the second time this week you’re dropping a gift off at set for him. On Monday it was his favorite chocolate bar and a cute Spider-man pen, and today it’s a card and flowers. You’ve been dropping things off for about three weeks now. Even the security guards recognize you now.

Strolling up to the entrance of the building labeled “SET THREE,” you smile at the security man you’re approaching.

“Hi, Oliver.”

“Hey, Y/N. Here to see Tom?”

“Yep,” you smile and rock back and forth on your toes.

Oliver nods, says something into his walkie-talkie, and hands you a temporary pass to grant you clearance. “Tell the folks I said ‘hello.’”

You smile at the discreet mention of Tom and nod shyly. The electronic lock lights up green and the door unlocks. You swing it open, dress flowing while you walk through the familiar corridors. You pass Rachel on your way, and you give her a quick hug before continuing your journey.

By some chance of luck, you happen to reach set just as the director calls for a five minute break. Tom is pleasantly surprised to find you by his personal table set up in a corner of the room.

“Y/N?”

“Oh, hi,” you smile.

“Hey, darling. What’re you doing?” his hand goes to the small of your back, and he finally gets a glance at what you’re setting up on the table. A smile creeps up onto his face as he sees the fresh flowers resting on the table, and your handmade card standing upright. “Awh,” he looks at you with doe eyes. “Another gift?”

You shrug bashfully, and Tom pulls you closer so he can kiss your temple.

“You’re so sweet.”

You scrunch your nose up. “Maybe.” He giggles and you do too. “Just wanted to say hello before my lunch break ends.” Tom nods.

“‘M glad I got to see you.”

You mirror his smile. Unbeknownst to both of you, the lighting crew is discussing how cute the two of you are, and how ridiculously sweet you are. They’ve kept mental records of the gifts you’ve given Tom. Even if it’s just his favorite tea order and some banana bread, they all find it romantic. Even the directors find it adorable. It seems as if the entire crew thinks your relationship with Tom is the epitome of romance.

“Okay, well I should be heading out.”

“Okay,” Tom smiles. “Drive safe, okay?”

You hum and nod, and Tom gives your temple one last kiss before he’s waving you out.

And then, you repeat the same thing two days later, on Friday. You’d gotten off work early, thanks to your boss, so you decide to be extra special today and pick up a fresh batch of cookies from your favorite bakery downtown, perhaps maybe the entire crew could use a little snack. You manage to get Tom a coffee order and a small fidgeting toy to distract himself.

You find Oliver outside the entrance as always, and he’s delighted to see you again.

“Back again, Y/N?”

“You know it,” you smile before your eyes light up. “Oh! Can I offer you a cookie?” You open the package and hold out the assortment. Oliver’s face lights up and, with a grateful smile, he takes one and a napkin.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiles as if you’ve been longtime friends, and the feeling makes you warm in happiness. “Here’s your pass. Tell the crew I’ve said ‘hello.’’ You nod again and you walk through the door that Oliver has so nicely opened for you. Strolling through those same corridors, you don’t pass many people, which is only peculiar on the days that aren’t busy. So, as you reach the end of the hallway where the set door is, you find the red light above the door blinking rapidly, telling you that they’re in the middle of an important scene. You wait only over a minute before the light dies out and you open the door.

Rachel is the first person you see, and she smiles at you tiredly. You’re guessing it’s been a long, slow day. Arriving at the food table, you notice how bare it is, also assuming that the snacks have run low as the day had gone on.

You smile when you see a new vase set up as if someone was expecting new flowers to come in. You pluck one from a vase on the far end of the table, place it in the vase, and set up the freshly baked cookies. You lay out the napkins with a smile, and Rachel comes over to you just as you’re finishing up.

“Hey, Y/N. Tom’s been pretty busy today.”

“Oh! That’s okay,” you grin. “These are for everyone.”

“Aw,” she glances down at the delicious-looking desserts. “Then count me in. May I?”

You step aside so you’re not blocking the platter. “Be my guest.”

As you step aside, your foot hits a chug of unopened lemonade, and you find the dispenser empty. Connecting the dots, you reach for the lemonade, and with minimal assistance from Rachel, you refill the lemonade dispenser.

You’ve been onset for about ten minutes now, and over fifteen people have already plucked their cookies. Still, no sign of Tom.

“No work today?”

“Got off early,” you tell her. She nods.

“How jealous I am.”

You chuckle and rub your arms. “Seems pretty harsh down here.”

“Eh,” she shrugs. “Just slow.”

Just then, the scene ends and Tom is striding towards the food table.

“Thank god the lemonade is ref- Y/N!” He practically runs over. “What’re you doing here?” Both of his hands grab yours.

It’s occurred to you that you’re standing in front of the platter of cookies, so you once again move to the side so Tom can see them. “Just dropping something off.”

“You’re so sweet,” he pouts. “You didn’t have to get that for everyone.”

“Eh,” you laugh, “looks like you all could use something sweet.”

“I can’t tell if you’re talking about the cookies or yourself,” he nuzzles your nose.

“Yo, are those cookies?” Matthew from soundcheck interrupts.

“Yup,” Tom smiles proudly. “Y/N brought them in.”

“That’s dope. Can I have one?” He looks at you, and you nod with a laugh.

“Of course.”

“That’s so nice,” he waves at the two of you. “Off to work again.”

“Have I mentioned how much I love having you on set?” Tom grips your hands a little tighter. You smile at the boy.

“No, you have not.”

“Well, I think everyone agrees with me when I say you’re a great person to have around.”

“Is that so, Holland?” You tease. He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Just sayin’ thank you.”

“I know,” you pull him in so you can hug him.

“Thank you,” he says softly.

“Maybe this means you can finally ask her to be your girlfriend,” Rachel cuts in.

Tom’s mouth drops open in unamusement and you laugh at him. Rachel shrugs sheepishly, knowing she isn’t wrong.

“Now, now,” you usher her, “He’s still flowering. Let him go on his own pace.”

The two of you burst out into laughter and Tom scoffs at the fact that you’re ganging up on him.

“Whatever,” he says, pulling you in so he can kiss your forehead. “I’ll see you tonight, girlfriend?”

Your grin widens. “Okay… boyfriend.”

#tom holland fic #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluffy imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fics #fic #fic rec #tom holland fluffy #tom holland x reader insert

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐷𝑖𝑙𝑓!𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑇𝑟𝑦 𝑇𝑜 𝑆𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑒 𝐴𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐷𝑖𝑙𝑓!𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧 𝑀𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 (𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑)

Warnings: NSFW content including but not limited to exhibitionism, voyeurism, semi-public sex (don't try it irl), lactating kink, tittyfucking, etc. Aged up/Older Ateez but age differences are still within legal boundaries. Allusions to infidelity (which I do not condone or encourage)

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

Hongjoong couldn't keep the proud look off his face as he showed off a video of your son playing around on the piano while seated on his lap.

"I'm telling you, he's going to be a musical genius." He boasted to his closest friend, Seonghwa who watched in amazement.

"Mine so far just know how to make messes and keep their mommy and me awake at all hours of the night." Seonghwa chuckled as he gave a lighthearted pat on the bum to the woman right next to him.

"They? You already have two?" You couldn't believe it.

"What can I say? Maybe I'm just really...gifted." Seonghwa winked which had his significant other blushing intensely when he looked her way, the poor thing fanning her face before going to the kitchen to grab more water.

Seonghwa's words left you feeling curious about him and it was a night out for both of you to have fun. So why not have a little fun?

"You must really be packing a lot in there to be able to knock up a girl with 2 kids." You observed as you shamelessly looked at his crotch.

"Well if you ever get too curious I'd be happy to let you experience it firsthand." He looked at you smugly as his thumb cupped your chin.

It was rather dangerous to flirt like this with Hongjoong's best friend right in front of him, but part of you wanted to know what he'd do seeing you act like this, like how'd you'd flirt back in university. You always loved making Hongjoong jealous after all. Taking Seonghwa's hand, you brought his fingers to your lips.

"I'm curious. Very curious actually." You maintained eye contact as you took his fingers in your mouth and mimicked the tongue movements you'd often do on Hongjoong's cock.

Speaking of him, you were surprised as to why he hadn't said or done anything. Looking behind you, you realized he wasn't even there which confused you. Finally you spotted him on the couch and you dropped Seonghwa's fingers out of your mouth when you saw none other than his s/o on Hongjoong's lap.

"Hongjoong!" You angrily exclaimed yet he still had a grin on his face.

"What? I was merely trying to get closer to my friend's soon to be wife." He replied as the hands on her hips went to her ass.

Walking over to them, Seonghwa lifted his partner off the couch and promptly excused himself as he pulled her out of your apartment, no doubt to remind her of a few things. Meanwhile you stood there glaring at Hongjoong who looked unbothered.

"What? It's only ok for you to try and seduce other men?"

You huffed and were about to walk to your room but Hongjoong sat up and hugged you from behind.

"Calm down my little slut, I was only giving you a taste of your own medicine. And besides, you don't need another cock besides mine." He chuckled as he started to play with your pant's zipper.

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Coming back from the kitchen, you widened your eyes as you saw that Hongjoong's a significant other was still flaunting herself to him and he was going along with it.

"This little bitch." You muttered to yourself thinking that no one heard you but someone did.

"It's frustrating isn't it?" You heard Hongjoong say right next to your ear, lips ghosting over the lobe.

"I take it a cat fight is out of the question?" You asked him.

"Actually.... I have a better idea, if you're comfort enough to help me."

Seeing his smirk and wiggling eyebrows, you knew what he was referring to and you decided fuck it. You allowed him to walk you over to the couch but it was you who pushed him onto it before straddling his lap, the dress you were wearing rising up and nearly exposing your lace panties.

"Well you're certainly not a shy one are you?" Hongjoong mused, eyes unable to look away at your chest that was right in front of his face.

"Hey, sometimes a girl's gotta get dirty to get what she wants." You bit your lip as you took his hands and guided them to your hips. Leaning down, you pressed your forehead against his and swiped your tongue across his upper lip.

"Like stealing another woman's husband." You chuckled slyly.

Hongjoong wasn't planning on feeling this hot by your behavior, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't find you attractive. Obviously you were extremely attractive if you managed to steal Seonghwa away from his wife and Hongjoong could now see why.

"Hongjoong!" You both heard his girl shout.

"Took her long enough." You whispered in his ear, trying to contain your laughter after he not only said he was trying to get close to you but also when he squeezed your ass.

The next thing you felt was a pair of arms getting you off Hongjoong before a voice said:

"I'm sorry but we must be going now."

Seonghwa was fuming as he dragged you over into the car, his hand slamming the door loudly.

"Maybe now you'll think twice before letting someone else try to seduce you." You snorted.

"I wasn't actually gonna let her do anything." He told you, a hand rubbing his temples as he tried to calm down both his anger and embarrassment.

"Oh I know you weren't going to let anything happen baby."

Seonghwa's breath hitched when he saw your face stoop down and start to take him out of his pants. He groaned when you spat on his cock so you could begin pumping him.

"Whatever she had you fantasizing about while your fingers were in her mouth, I can fulfill it and even more."

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

When Yunho said he wanted you to meet a few of his close friends, you began worrying that an event like what happened with his family would took place. But to your surprise it was nothing like that. And in fact you two weren't the only couple who had a large age difference between them, as his recently remarried friend Yeosang had a wife that was closer to your age so that comforted you.

No doubt Yunho intended for you to become friends with the lovely lady, but surprisingly you were bonding a lot more with Yeosang than anyone, and after a while it escalated to a little flirting.

"So is it true that Yunho bought your virginty?"

You nearly spat your drink out when he asked that, but you composed yourself and smiled as if nothing happened.

"Yeah and I honestly don't regret it." You responded.

"I don't think he regrets it either." He gestured over to Yunho who was happily chatting with some of the other guests.

"Did you also buy your now wife's virginity?" You figured it wouldn't be bad to ask him an embarrassing question now.

"No actually I didn't. I didn't have to. From the first moment, she wanted me like I wanted her and in the end, well...... she ended letting me corrupt her after a long game of cat and mouse." He had a fond look on his face as he began to recall all those memories.

"Well with that face I'd let you corrupt me for free." You wanted to slap your hand over your mouth when you accidentally said aloud what you thought in your head.

Yeosang quirked an eyebrow an amusement at your words.

"Oh really? You little innocent thing would let me corrupt you? Tell me, what if it had been me instead of Yunho that paid to have his way with you?" Yeosang was bold enough to tuck some of your hair behind your ear, his large veiny hands making you get wet as you imagined them undressing you.

"I'd let you fuck my pussy for free." You admitted as you began to lean into him.

Unbeknownst to you, Yunho had listened to the entire conversation and now he stepped in to pull you away from Yeosang. He looked beyond mad and you thought you fucked up for real. He dragged you into some lonely part of the park you were all gathered in and pressed you up against one of the trees. Before you could speak, his large frame trapped you as he started to pull your dress up.

"A long time ago, I paid for this little pussy of yours, isn't that right?" He harshly asked.

You nodded immediately before gasping when Yunho practically tore your panties off you, leaving your bottom half exposed for anyone walking by to see. You tried to pull your dress down, but were stopped by him.

"Don't even try it. Like I said, I paid for your pussy which means it's mine to show whenever I want....." You shuddered when he plunged two fingers in you.

"And fuck whenever I want. Just me, no one else. "

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

You weren't going to lie that you felt uneasy about Yunho's wife talking a little too friendly with Yeosang. Even though you tried to listen to what Yunho was saying, your eyes kept trailing back over to them, and you couldn't stop squinting your eyes at her.

"You can stop being on edge about my wife, she's not going to steal Yeosang away from you." Yunho assured you.

You looked back at him with a face that let him know he was stupid.

"Oh honey, you have no idea what a woman can be like. Don't be fooled by our innocent appearances." You warned him before looking back at Yeosang.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Judging by his tone, you knew Yunho felt offended that you meant anything remotely offensive towards his wife.

Wanting to lighten up the mood while simultaneously letting him understand your point of view, you fully turned your attention to him and smirked as you 'innocently' began adjusting his tie.

"Wha-what are you doing?" Yunho couldn't help the stammer in his voice when you came close to him.

"I'm just fixing this up for you." You answered, your voice sounding as smooth as honey.

"That's not necessary-" Yunho gulped when he tried to pull away only for you to suddenly pull him back in, your body now pressed to his, your breasts peeping out of your cleavage daring him not to stare.

"A woman may help a man tie his tie, fix his belt or..... adjust their collars simply to be nice."

Yunho stiffened and blushed red when you leaned in and whispered with a honey like voice in his ear:

"Or it's because we're trying to get you guys to fuck us."

You knew your plan worked when Yunho's eyes shot wide open and he excused himself to go stomp over to where his wife and Yeosang were. You patted yourself on the back especially when you made emphasis on the adjusting collars part, knowing that Yunho saw just as you did how his wife had adjusted Yeosang's collar before and he was not subtle about checking out her cleavage.

Your proud smile did not leave your face even when you saw Yeosang slowly approaching you. You knew he definitely saw how you were with Yunho and you were curious to see what'd he say. Humming softly, he went behind you so he could wrap his arms around your waist while his face buried itself on your neck.

"Mind telling me why you were so close with Yunho?"

Reaching a hand up to pat his hair, you answered:

"Simply teaching him a few lessons on how women seduce men."

Yeosang couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at your words. You giggled when you felt his lips press open mouth kisses along your neck.

"Yeah you're an expert in that category, aren't you?"

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

"Umm...uh Y/N?" Mingi, San's friend spoke up.

"Yeah?" You wondered what was bothering him.

He seemed unsure whether to tell you or not, whatever it was that he was trying to say. Clearing his throat, he finally decided to spit it out.

"I think you spilled something on your shirt when you went to the kitchen and didn't notice."

You were confused as you didn't remember spilling anything on yourself. Looking down at your shirt, you laughed as you realized what it actually was.

"Oh! I didn't spill anything, that's just my boobs." You blurted out.

Mingi flushed pink as it clicked on his head what you meant.

"Oh...right. San had mentioned before that you lactated a lot but I didn't think-" He stopped himself before he went further.

"Didn't think?" You pressed him to continue.

"Didn't think it'd be that much." He confessed, eyes curiously eyeing the wet stains on your shirt.

Getting turned on by another man staring at your breasts, you reached for the bottom of your shirt and pulled it off of you. Slowly, you began to pull your bra up as well, your breasts popping out with a bounce that had Mingi biting his lip. San came in to find you topless and with his friend admiring your tits and although he'd usually be very jealous, something about it made him get aroused.

"My wife's tits are so pretty aren't they Mingi?" He startled you both when he made his presence known.

"God yes." Mingi couldn't lie.

"Maybe you should taste them." San suggested as he reached for one of them and squeezed it so a bit of milk would come out of it.

Mingi hesitated but after San reassured him it was fine, the giant male latched his mouth onto one of your breasts, sucking on it fervently. If you thought it couldn't get any better, soon San joined in, taking a hold of your other breast and taking it into his mouth. You threw your head back and moaned loudly as both men sucked on your breasts, your hands cupping the back of their heads to push them further into your chest.

"Just watch Mingi, she can literally cum untouched by just having us breastfeed from her." San chuckled in between his suckling.

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

"I should cut off your balls." You threatened Mingi as he confessed to you what had transpired the day before at San's house.

"Honey please don't do that. At least you heard it from me, doesn't that count for something?" He pouted at you as he tried to hug you.

"Yeah it counts for getting it sliced off in one whole strike instead of piece by piece." You grunted as you evaded his embrace.

"Ok, what's it going to take for you to forgive me? Ask for anything. If you even wanna withhold kinky times from me, I won't even blame you."

You actually thought long and hard about how to get back at Mingi. Just what could possibly make you get even with him after he confessed to sucking on his friend's wife's tits? The light bulb went off in your head at once.

"Can you ask your friend San to come over?"

Although he was confused by your request, he nonetheless did as you asked and called him over. San was just as confused, but he figured he was probably there to help his friend out and apologize for what happened and take responsibility. But what he was not expecting was for you to throw yourself on him and start seducing him right in front of Mingi, who was equally shocked.

"You got to have your fun with his wife yesterday right? I think it's only fair he gets to have fun with your wife, don't you think Mingi?" You smirked over at him.

San was hissing and grunting as he layed on your bed, watching intently as his cock was buried deep in between your boobs. Every time his head popped out, you made sure to stick your tongue out to further stimulate him.

"You seem to have a thing for breasts Sannie." You teased as you began to fuck him between your boobs even faster.

"Oh fuck!" San cried out as he tried to keep himself from cumming.

"Mingi also likes a good tittyfuck every now and then, but he's more of an ass man above all."

You looked over at Mingi, who sat quietly on a chair in front of you both, watching it all go down with a tent in his pants.

"Mingi come fuck my ass." You suddenly told him.

"Are you serious?" Mingi widened his eyes.

"I just got done saying how you're an ass man and I'm feeling empty. Now are you going to stay sitting down or are you going to join in?"

In minutes, Mingi had gotten up and had stripped himself off his clothes, and now he was positioning himself right behind you, cock twitching at fucking your ass while your breasts fucked his friend.

"You really are a kinky little lady."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

"Wait, you met Y/N where?"

Wooyoung wasn't surprised to hear the disbelief in Jongho's voice as they shared stories about how they met their current significant others.

"In the strip club I frequented. She was one of the dancers there." He repeated himself.

"What? Did she drop her panties onstage and you immediately bought a ring?" Jongho teased him.

"One, we're not married...yet. And two, I actually had to get her alone to be able to see her with no clothes on. And fuck when I did, I decided to snatch her away before anyone else got a chance to." He admitted.

"Was she that enticing to you?" Jongho questioned him.

"Trust me, she's the type of woman who can dance her way into a man's heart. Or pants." Wooyoung boldly stated.

"I doubt she could dance into mine." Jongho firmly said.

"Oh really? You think so? Wanna bet on it?"

Wooyoung didn't hesitate to pick up his phone and call you right away. Hearing his mischievous tone, you knew he was up to something. When he asked you to come over to his office in one of your old costumes from your exotic dancer days, you got a hint as to what it could be and it excited you to think about it.

You came into his office, thinking he wanted a private show but you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw that he wasn't alone. You looked at Wooyoung, asking for an explanation.

"Baby I hope you don't mind but.... I wanted you to put on a little show for my dear old friend here." Wooyoung shifted in his seat.

You were about to scold Wooyoung for even thinking of such an idea, but Jongho spoke up first.

"She can try all she wants, but I doubt she'll be effective in seducing me."

You scoffed at the man's words and at that moment you wanted nothing than to wipe that smug look off his face. Setting your phone on the desk and pressing play, you walked right in front of Jongho and let the long trench coat fall of your body, revealing the glittery lingerie you were hiding. Although Jongho tried to remain stoic, you could see that the corners of his lip twitched slightly when you began to dance.

You felt proud of yourself when it seemed you were finally getting him to break as you rolled your body on top of him, your hips mere inches from actually grinding down on his crotch.

"Can I touch her?" Jongho finally blurted out, nails clawing the couch underneath him.

Wooyoung and you both exchanged a triumphant look when he asked that.

"Only if you admit I won the bet, then I'll even let you fuck her."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

"Are we really doing this right here?" You giggled as Jongho continued to mark kisses across your neck as he pushed you onto the desk behind you.

"Can't help it. I just really wanted you now." He winked when he came back up to cup your face and hungrily kiss your lips.

You found it odd that Jongho was suddenly getting frisky with you while at work. He'd never ever approve of you two risking getting caught doing something inappropriate during work hours. But you figured it was because back then you two were a secret and now almost everyone knew you two were married. So you just didn't think too much of it and instead enjoyed as his strong hands gripped your thighs and spread them apart so he could fit himself in between your legs.

Just as you two were getting lost in each other, the door opened and someone came in.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" A man whom you had never met before asked as he seemed embarrassed about walking in on you two.

"Oh, not at all Wooyoung. In fact I was expecting you right at this time, after all, I did call you here."

Jongho looked so unfazed about having his friend walk in, in fact, he looked almost too happy about getting caught like that, it was so unlike him. Just as you slid off the desk and began adjusting yourself, Jongho stopped you.

"Wooyoung? Remember the other night? When you let your little exotic dancer give me a lap dance?"

You widened your eyes when he said that, hearing that for the first time.

"Among other things." Wooyoung nodded.

Taking your hand, Jongho slowly walked you over to where Wooyoung was seated.

"Well.... I think it's time you let me return the favor."

Before you could even guess what was happening, Jongho sat you on Wooyoung's lap, your back pressed against his chest.

"I left her wet and bothered so I think she'd really appreciate it if you helped her out." Jongho winked at you before stepping back to his desk to get a better view.

You whimpered when you felt Wooyoung's hands slide up your shirt to cup your breasts.

"Are you ok with this babygirl?" He asked you.

Having Jongho watching you intently and being left needy by him, you didn't hesitate to let his friend know that you were more than ok with him touching you, which delighted him and Jongho as well.

"Don't hold back on her, she likes it rough."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez dilf au #dilf!ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #ateez angst

[midgardianweasley]

Keep you safe

Keep you safe

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Avenger!reader

Summary: When the civil war breaks out among the team, what happens when you find yourself and your girlfriend on opposite sides of the fight?

Warnings: Extremely minor cursing, angst, injury, ends in fluff

Word Count: 1.8k words

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist <3

Requests are open!

“Vision, you can’t keep her prisoner here” I announced to what seemed like a brick wall. The S.H.I.E.L.D. meeting was only this morning and already it felt like the team was beginning to drift. Tony and Steve were fighting, not being able to agree on where they stand regarding the Sokovia Accords and whether we should sign our rights away. Wanda, not being a US citizen and having been a big part of the incident in Sokovia, has been put under Vision’s watch for protection. But from what i’ve seen, I think Wanda can protect herself just fine.

“It’s not imprisonment, Y/N, this is for her safety.”

“Safety? She’s fully capable of walking to the shops on her own.”

“I think some members of the team would disagree, Nata-”

“Don’t, Vision. Please.” I sighed, rubbing my forehead, the stress going straight to my temples upon remembering the events from this morning with my girlfriend.

Nat and I had just walked out of the meeting room, thoughts flooding both of our heads. We were exhausted, the emergency meeting not giving us enough time to wake up with a coffee before having to be fully functional. My head was resting on her shoulder, her head on top of mine as we stood in an abandoned corridor, revelling in the peace and quiet. It was a few minutes before one of us decided to speak up.

“You okay, голубка?” She whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my head before returning to her previous position.

“Mhmm, I think so. My head is officially fried though and it’s not even 9am yet.”

“We’ll get some coffee in us soon.”

“I think we’ve earned it” I mumbled, earning a slight chuckle from the both of us, returning back to the silence for only a couple of minutes before a thought crossed my mind.

“I feel bad for Wanda. She must feel terrible.”

“I know. Hopefully this whole Accords business can be of help.”

“Well, that would be nice, but we’re obviously not signing that.” An airy laugh left my lips, amused at the idea of signing away any freedom we could have for ourselves. I felt Nat’s body go rigid beside me, suddenly feeling tense. I pulled away slightly and looked up to see a frown taking over her features.

“You’re not going to sign?” She spoke, suddenly sounding more awake, albeit still having a gentle tone, but I could feel the disbelief behind her words.

“I wasn’t planning on it, no. Are you?”

“I feel like it would be a good idea. Maybe we need a little more guidance to go about our missions.”

“This isn't guidance, Nat. This is essentially locking us away just without the bars.”

“It’s protection.”

“It’s losing our freedom!” I bluntly responded, almost shocked that we weren’t on the same page about this. We both stood across from each other now, arms crossed and staring into each other's eyes, all tiredness beforehand gone and replaced with fire.

“I need some air” She groaned, walking away towards the exit, signalling the end of that conversation.

“Nat-”

“I’ll see you at home, okay?” Not giving me a chance to respond, having walked out the door before I could utter a word. I guess coffee is the least of my problems now.

Lost in my daydream, I hadn’t even noticed that Clint had walked in and was currently fighting Vision. Wait, Clint?

“Clint? I thought you retired?”

“Ah nice to have you back.” He choked, currently caught in a headlock with Vision. I stood next to Wanda, the two of us sharing a look of confusion. “We need to go, Cap needs us.”

“You can’t overpower me, Clint.” Vision spoke, still holding his grip.

“I know i can’t, but she can”

I looked beside me once again and saw Wanda beginning to use her powers, and before I knew it, Vision had fallen to the ground..and further until we could no longer see him.

“We need to go” The archer rushed, taking Wanda by the hand and leading her outside. I was yet to be clued in on what exactly was going on, but I knew one thing, this couldn’t be good.

---

It was absolute chaos everywhere. Steve, much like Tony, had recruited a small team of his own, some familiar faces, some new, the ant guy was pretty cool. However, there hadn’t been much time to admire the different skill sets and powers that had been brought to the table before both sides had run towards each other. Especially considering seeing the recognisable assassin on the other side had brought on a wave of sickness, fighting her was the last thing I wanted to do.

While Bucky had taken to fighting who I assumed to be Blank Panther and Sam was in the air, I’d stuck to helping Steve, not wanting to get involved in the fight Clint was having with Natasha. This teenager had started shooting webs at Captain, and while I know he was on the opposite side, I had to admit, he was pretty good at fighting.

“He also said to go for your legs” He chuckled, again shooting webs at the supersoldier and holding him back from retrieving his shield.

“Hey Spidey” I called, gaining his attention.

“Hi”

“Might wanna drop the Captain, yeah?”

“I can’t. I gotta impress Mr Stark”

“Look, this isn’t your fight, you don’t know what’s going on” I tried to reason, falling onto deaf ears, or just stubborn, as he then shot his webs at me and tried to pull. His eyes shrunk in confusion as he couldn’t flip me, my power of immobility coming in handy.

“Why-” He groaned, still trying to flip me. I lifted my hands, grabbed the webs and flung him into one of the loading crates that were scattered around, my super strength making the impact a lot harsher, but not enough to cause major injury.

“Thanks Y/N” Steve spoke, a quick nod of approval was shared before I caught a glance of another fight going on. Wanda’s holding a crate, trying to take someone flying above it out, completely oblivious to Vision starting to come towards her. Looking down slightly, I saw who was directly underneath.

“Shit” I mumbled, running as fast as I could towards them, avoiding gunfire and punches along the way.

“Language!”

“Sorry! Jeez” I directed towards the man now running in a different direction.

Vision was much closer to them than I was, no matter how quickly my feet took me. It was no use trying to warn Wanda, I wouldn’t get there in time. I had to go with plan B.

“Nat! Move!”

She quickly turned and caught sight of me, giving me a confused glare that didn’t last long before I pushed her away from where she was standing, out of harm's way.

“What the hell Y/-” She hadn’t managed to finish her sentence before her eyes widened in horror at the large crate suddenly falling from Wanda’s hold and onto me. My arms lifted quickly to hold it, slightly wobbling due to not being in the centre of it.

“Is there anything behind me?”

“Wha-”

“Is there anything behind me?!” I spoke more urgently, not knowing how much longer I could hold it.

“No, no you’re clear.” Natasha responded, I thanked her silently with a nod.

‘Okay. you’ve got this. One. Two-’ I thought to myself.

With the remaining strength I could have gathered, I bent down slightly and pushed, sending the metal hurling upwards while I ran forward. Overestimating how high i’d thrown it, the bitter reality hit me, quite literally as it fell onto my leg, sending me face first towards the ground.

“Wanda!” Was all I could hear before I felt my head placed in someone’s lap and the world went black.

---

My head pounding like a hammer had been a lovely wake up call, followed by a throbbing pain in my leg which I'd looked down to see was lying along a row of pillows. My eyes darted around the room and I recognised the photo on the bedside table beside me. It was a photo of Natasha and I standing in the rain laughing at a joke we can’t remember anymore, but it must’ve been funny according to the huge smiles on our faces. The love in our eyes was enough to make galaxies jealous.

A knock on the door had interrupted my train of thought, opening before I had a chance to respond, Natasha walked in, a guilty look taking over her face.

“Hi”

“Hey. You okay?” I questioned, earning a smile and a scoff to come out of The Black Widow’s mouth.

“Am I okay? Really?”

“I-”

“You ask me if i’m okay when you’re lying there with a broken leg and just woken up from being knocked out, because you decided to throw yourself into danger.”

“You had a tonnes worth of metal about to fall on you. Forgive me if i didn’t want a squished girlfriend.” I defended myself, not entirely certain on how this is turning into being my fault.

“You could have died”

“But I didn’t”

“But you could’ve, Y/N!”

“Love-”

“I can’t lose you” Her voice broke. Only then had I managed to really take a look at her. Her eyes had clouded over, her hair was all over the place, her nose running slightly. A pang of guilt hit me, not knowing that my action had affected her so much.

“Can you come here? Please?” She hesitated, but soon made her way round to the other side of the bed and sat herself down, making herself comfortable in my arms that I held open for her, hands immediately going to run through her hair. Small sniffles could be heard in the otherwise silent room, each one having a kiss pressed against her head in response.

After a couple of minutes, the silence was broken again.

“I’m sorry, moya lyubov, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to keep you safe.”

She turned her head up slightly to look at me, a small smile playing on her lips

“I know. i just panicked. I want you to be safe too.”

“I’m okay. I’m here. I promise.” I kissed her head again. “How does a bath and a movie sound?” A small sigh left her lips at the suggestion.

“You’ll join?”

“I’ll join”

A small but passionate kiss was exchanged, followed by a few quick pecks before the redhead walked off towards our bathroom, the sound of running water filling the air not long after.

No matter the mission, the fight, the argument or the disagreements, we’ll always protect one another. We don’t need the Sokovia Accords for that.

taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x avenger reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff fluffy #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff oneshot

[starfirette]

How about Helena Bertinelli jealous of the reader with other people because she didn’t have the same experience of seeing cartoons and movies (say the search for revenge is not full of cinema tickets. Something fluff in the end please 🥺💖

I made this into a bullet fic!! I hope that's alright. That quote is stellar, though!!!

This woman is the most sheltered assassin I think I've ever known

She may be a mafia boss but, like, she's very much like the sheltered kid

At the end of the day, she's afraid of everything. She worries about food poisoning and mass shooters

She's afraid ALL THE TIME for your safety and everyone else's

Well, when someone asked her why she "just can't have a fun time" she got angry and flustered

it was margarita night at the taco place Harley loved so much, and these nights became tradition

Harley had finally found real friends and she was ready to get to know them all

Everyone was talking about their favorite movies and all of a sudden everyone around Helena seems to be quoting something that she didn't know

Everyone knew it word for word and Helena didn't

you all laughed and Helena didn't, so naturally you were concerned

"Didn't you ever see Toy Story?" you asked

"Uh, no"

"Oh. We should watch it tonight."

"Uh, okay."

"Oh! Let's watch Studio Jibbly," Harley said as she sipped her drink

Cass just drank a virgin lemonade but she nodded

"It's 'Gib-Lee'" Dinah corrected. Harley didn't care

"What is Studio Jiggly?" Helena asked

"Again, it's pronounced 'Gib-Lee.'"

Shut up Dinah

"It's sorta like a series of anime movies," Renee said. Even Renee knew and that made Helena feel lame

"Animated movies? That's cool," Helena said rather meekly

"No, anime movies," you corrected. "Oh, we should watch The Secret World of Ariette! Remember I said I loved that for a baby name?" you told Helena as you nudged her. Yes she remembered but it didn't matter right now

"That's really great, really, really, but I've never seen it."

"That's why I suggested we watch it," you said carefully

"You didn't see it? I mean, it came out in 2010, that was like a decade ago," Harley said as she stirred her drink

"Ten years ago I was hunting down everyone that massacred my family before my very eyes." Helena sipped her margarita as her friends looked around, feeling a little not comfortable

"Oh, Hel..." you muttered, rubbing your girlfriend's shoulder sympathetically

"I saw that with Rick in the movie theatres," Harley continued on.

"Well I'm sorry, Harleen, but-"

"Oh shit," Cass said. Helena only calls Harley Harleen when she's mad. When she's mad at Cass, it's Cassandra.

"-But I didn't have much money for cinema tickets during my quest for revenge."

".......Cinema?" Harley asked.

"Quest?" Cassandra said.

"Not enough money?" Dinah said, sounding high pitched and shocked. "You lived in a villa."

"She's Italian," you told Harley. "She says cinema."

"Ah, those romantic languages," Harley said as she tapped her temple. "So, you know, romantic."

"Shut up," Helena snapped.

Dinah balanced her chin in her hand. "So why don't you have an accent?"

Helena just left the table

You glared at everyone. "Thanks. Now she's upset"

"Ah, boo hoo. So she didn't experience cartoons and movies? Just show her the cartoons and movies. No biggie. Now witnessing the so called 'massacre' of her entire family is a bigger issue to tackle."

You glared harder at Harley.

Harley leaned forward and asked, "She doesn't even have, like, an auntie?"

You left the table while Renee cackled in the background. She never actually contributes to conversations

You found Helena lighting a cigar outside, looking distressed and sad

"I don't really see why you're upset," you said, trying to make light of the situation. Helena wasn't happy

You hugged her waist from behind, inhaling the smell of her tobacco and leather perfume

"It doesn't matter that you didn't see movies. Or cartoons. We can just binge it all together. That doesn't sound fun to you?"

Helena tapped some ash on the sidewalk. "I'm pretty sick of being the oddball."

"Hel, you're not the oddball. Renee is basically a high functioning alcoholic with a gun collection. Cassandra is basically homeless and a pick pocket who now works for Batman. Dinah has a magic scream, and Harley is Harley. So you fit right in."

Convincing Helena it would be okay goes perfectly. Everyone goes home and starts out with the classic movies; some original disney. pixar, The Titanic.

By far she loves The Godfather, Forest Gump, Snow White, and Heathers

She watches lots of cartoons in her free time just to study up on lingo and classic media references

She keeps a notebook

She wonders why "What's up, doc?" is so popular because it's not funny

She rants all the time about why Looney Toons isn't funny.

She doesn't like Bugs. Don't ask me why but she'd probably kill him on sight.

#helena bertinelli x reader #my helena babes #helena x reader #helena bertinelli imagine #helena bertinelli #huntress x reader #huntress imagine #crossbow killer x reader #crossbow killer imagine #birds of prey x reader #birds of prey imagines #dceu imagines #dceu x reader #dceu headcanon #dc x reader #dc imagine #bop x reader #bop imagine #bop headcanons #starfirette writes

[tennessoui]

Pleaseeee do 43 or 46. I love your work btw

(insert months late panicked noises about how I thought 45 was 'falling in love with best friend's partner' and so wrote hold me fast for it, but actually 43 is 'falling in love with best friend's partner' very whoops very my b)

so i did 43 again anyway, but in a modern au and where the couple is actually in love (but it is an obikin happy ending because kit did write it)

(wife is unnamed the entire time so no character bashing it could literally be anyone ive been calling her rebecca in my head lmao)

43. Falling In Love With Best Friend's Partner (2.7k.......)

Obi-Wan’s kettle goes off with a whistle right as there’s a fierce banging on the door. He almost drops his favorite mug in surprise, which puts him in a bad mood from the get-go. But for the love of Christ, who would come call at his house at nine at night? It’s more than rude; it’s downright indecent.

He stalks through the house until he can unlock the door to give the person on his porch a piece of his mind, but then he sees who it is.

It’s Anakin, and he’s crying.

If there’s anything that can make Obi-Wan quiet his temper on a normal day, it’s Anakin Skywalker. A distressed Anakin Skywalker brings out every ounce of his compassion.

“Anakin?” He asks immediately, stepping forward to touch the man on his arm gently and guide him inside. He doesn’t even have to suppress a sigh when Anakin doesn’t remember to toe off his shoes in the entry way--that’s how worried he is at Anakin’s tears and the way they only increase in frequency and sound when Obi-Wan moves his hand to his back and pushes him further into his house, all the way to the dining table where he urges him to sit down.

Anakin still hasn’t said anything resembling actual words yet, so Obi-Wan goes to the kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. It’s either that or give into the temptation to thumb the tear tracks off of his cheeks and that’s a little more revealing than Obi-Wan likes.

He’s not that brave, for one.

For another, Anakin is a married man. A man married to one of Obi-Wan’s closest friends, a previous grad student turned co-author of at least seven publications, with more on the way. He can’t risk tenderly wiping away her husband’s tears because Obi-Wan Kenobi has been at least a little in love with him since they were introduced four years ago, when he’d swanned up to him holding two champagne glasses in one hand and stuck out the other to shake. “My wife talks about you nonstop, Professor,” he’d said. “I used to be so jealous until I sat in on one of your lectures when I was still in school. Made sense then.”

Obi-Wan had not known what to do with that, but had taken the proffered champagne glass and assured this strange man he had nothing to worry about.

After all, Obi-Wan wasn’t the sort of man to chase after former students or people in marriages.

Over the next few years, however, it became quite clear to him that there was a big addendum needed in his moral code: people in marriages to former students drew his eyes apparently the way no one else has ever managed to in his life.

Or perhaps it was just Anakin. Perhaps it’s always been just Anakin.

Coming to terms with the shameful, quiet love he carried for a man who flirts like it’s second nature and always has a warm touch or word to bestow on Obi-Wan had been difficult, to say the least.

Anakin’s wife had been one of Obi-Wan’s closest friends. His inconvenient and persistent feelings for Anakin had turned her into one thing only: his wife. They could not be friends when Obi-Wan spends half his nights wondering what it would be like to sleep with his arms around her husband. They could not be friends when the last dozen times the married couple had invited him over for dinner, he had paid more attention to her husband than to the food or to the other topics of conversation or to her.

And she has to know. She has to know why their latest paper has taken eight months to write. She has to have seen the way Obi-Wan perks up so obviously when Anakin brings his wife her lunch, the way he has to turn away from their chaste kisses, the way he listens keenly to any information she gives him on her husband, the way he had excused himself from the room when he heard her tell another colleague that they were trying for children.

In academia, you learn fairly quickly that it is useless to resent someone for having what you do not. It seems that Obi-Wan has to learn this lesson all over again when it comes to people. It’s hard. It’s selfish. He hates that he loves Anakin. He hates that he loves Anakin the way he does, that it’s been four years and he still loves him, that not even his happy marriage, his love for his wife, the fact that his wife is Obi-Wan’s friend, can change it.

Anakin considers them friends now, which is so much worse and yet still more than a pathetic old man like Obi-Wan deserves. Worse, because when Obi-Wan had started rejecting dinners at the Skywalker household, Anakin had pushed back with worry. When he’d noticed that Obi-Wan’s lunch most often consisted of whatever cold cut sandwich was on sale at the gas station next to campus, he’d started bringing Obi-Wan a lunch along with his wife. When Obi-Wan had stopped responding to his texts, he showed up to drag him to a night out.

Worse, because being Anakin’s friend is nothing like being his husband, and the differences make him ache as much as the acts of kindness make him want to weep.

It’s still more than Obi-Wan deserves. He knows that intimately, the way he knows that nothing can ever happen between the two of them because Anakin loves his wife. And his wife--

“She cheated on me,” Anakin gets out between uneven breaths.

Obi-Wan promptly drops his favorite mug and watches it shatter on the floor.

“Oh!” Anakin exclaims at the loud noise, peeking around the corner, and looking like he’s about to offer to help. Obi-Wan shoos him out of the kitchen, and grabs the remaining mug of tea to follow him. The mess can wait for a later time.

“What did you say?” he asks carefully, nudging the mug over to Anakin, who wraps his hands around it.

Anakin blinks up at him wetly. “Don’t make me say it again.”

Obi-Wan drags his chair closer and dares to lay a hand over Anakin’s arm, watching his face for any negative reaction. Anakin just looks at it though, as if he can’t even comprehend it.

“Please, tell me what happened,” he entreats softly.

Anakin blinks and takes a sip of the tea. It’s chamomile, which is the only tea blend Obi-Wan knows Anakin likes.

“I, um.” Anakin clears his throat and reaches up to wipe at his eyes. Obi-Wan thinks his breath leaves his body for a second when he sees the slighter lighter ring of skin around Anakin’s fourth finger. He never thought he’d see what that sliver of skin looks like.

“I came back early from a work trip, cause. Um. Cause we’ve been having problems,” he starts with a quick side glance at Obi-Wan. “Just some fighting. Going to bed angry. I guess stuff you’re never supposed to do.”

Obi-Wan tries to arrange his face in an expression meant to convey that he definitely knows what stuff one is supposed to do in a marriage.

“So I thought I could, you know. Surprise her. But when I got in, there was someone else in the house. In our bed, Obi-Wan, she fucked someone else in our bed. I--” Anakin starts crying dropping his head into his hands and dislodging Obi-Wan’s arm completely.

“Oh,” Obi-Wan murmurs, at a loss for what to say. He settles for kneeling down next to Anakin and rubbing his knee. This is platonic.This is fine. This isn’t taking advantage of Anakin in this state.

Obi-Wan has absolutely no desire to take advantage of Anakin in this state, not when he’s so hurt and sad and in need of comfort. Obi-Wan just wants to provide him with comfort, but it feels like a grievous violation to touch Anakin like this willingly. It breaks one of his most cardinal rules.

But it turns out he’d break a lot of rules for Anakin, apparently.

Especially when Anakin responds so well to his touch, practically throwing himself out of his own chair and into Obi-Wan’s arms, tea forgotten on the table.

“How am I supposed to go back there?” He sobs into Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I thought...we were supposed to raise kids in that house and she...she’s been...she’s been cheating on me in our bed--”

Obi-Wan tentatively strokes through his hair, adding pressure when Anakin reacts positively. He hates seeing him like this, so torn up and aching. He’d loved his wife, it’s so clear to see.

But Anakin has always struck Obi-Wan as the sort of person to put loyalty over everything else. For his wife to break his trust so suddenly and quickly must spell the death of his love for her. That must be what Obi-Wan is witnessing now, with Anakin, sans wedding ring, sobbing into his arms like this. This must be how Anakin’s love dies.

“I’m so sorry, Anakin,” he murmurs into the man’s temple, pressing his nose there at his hairline and inhaling as softly as he can. He’s disgusted with himself. He can’t help himself. He--

“She said she loved him,” Anakin sniffles, seemingly unaware of anything but his own pain. Obi-Wan gathers him closer at these words and rubs at his back, offering silent comfort. To have Anakin close like this is agony, but to be an appropriate distance away from him as he fell apart would also be agony of a different sort.

And if the last four years have proven anything, Obi-Wan will choose the agony that causes Anakin any modicum of happiness he can give him.

“She said--” here Anakin pauses and takes several deep breaths against the cotton of Obi-Wan’s now damp sleepshirt. “She said she didn’t when they started, but then I--I didn’t notice and it--she said it just happened, but--”

He breaks off and freezes in Obi-Wan’s arms quite suddenly. Obi-Wan stills his own hands in response. “But?” he asks, barely more than an exhale.

“But she said she couldn’t feel sorry about it,” Anakin whispers back, pulling away so that he can look at Obi-Wan’s face.

Obi-Wan stares at him, uncomprehending. Anakin’s wife is the unapologetic sort of woman, yes, but to be caught cheating on her husband and then refuse to apologize for the betrayal? That’s something else entirely. “What?” he stutters out in a completely unflattering way.

Anakin’s eyes glisten, but he purses his lips and flexes his jaw before he speaks again. “She said she couldn’t feel sorry about falling in love with someone else because it’s quite clear I’ve done the same thing. And--and she may have physically cheated on me first, but I’ve...I’ve been emotionally unfaithful to her for years now.”

Obi-Wan blinks quite a bit and very fast, tightening his hold on Anakin before pulling away just as quickly. “That’s absurd,” he spits out, trying to calm his rushing heartbeat. “Anakin, you’re the most loyal person I know. You would never--”

“She was right,” Anakin cuts him off, breaking eye contact with him to look over his shoulder and then down at...at his lips. “I didn’t even realize she was right until she said it, but. But I’ve been in love with someone else for three years of my five year marriage. I--I’m not who we thought I was.”

And his eyes well up with tears again and Obi-Wan isn’t strong enough this time from stopping himself from reaching out and brushing one of his tears away with the pad of his thumb.

“Anakin, you’re not…” thinking straight, serious, in your right mind, in love with anyone but your wife. “You’re hurting, Anakin,” he settles on saying. “You need to...sleep. To rest.”

You need to stop saying things that will break my heart in a few days when you realize you don’t actually mean them.

But Anakin has always been stubborn, especially when it comes to Obi-Wan’s demands. “Obi-Wan,” he insists, shoving his face forward so that their heads connect with a thump. “Obi-Wan, it’s you. It’s been you. For. For longer than I knew. For three years at least. Maybe longer. It should have been you from the beginning. When--”

“Anakin, please,” he finds himself begging, scrambling up and off the floor and away from this troublesome man. “Do not say anything you cannot take back. You are in distress, you’re not thinking clearly.”

Anakin follows him to his feet. “I need to say this,” he says, voice breaking. “Please, Obi-Wan. Let me say this.”

Obi-Wan has never known how to say no to Anakin. He closes his mouth instead.

“Before we even started dating, that’s when I sat in on your lecture. When we were seniors. I just wanted to see. Wanted to know why she liked you so much, measure up my competition. But then I liked you, more than I’ve ever liked a guy before. And it only got worse after I met you again, at that party, I don’t know if you remember, but. The days after, I drove my wife insane asking questions about you and your work and your interests and your hobbies, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it.

“You were just...you were so amazing. But I loved her so much I didn’t even notice I had any love left in my heart to give to anyone else, but then there you were. There you were and every time I saw you it was like...coming up for air. Like I was living someone else’s life and then sometimes I just got to be myself and it was only ever when you were around and--I didn’t know it was love until my wife told me tonight that she fucked another man because she couldn’t stand that I fell in love with one first, and I knew immediately who she was talking about. It was you. It’s...Obi-Wan, it’s always been you.”

Anakin closes the distance between them slowly, as if he’s giving Obi-Wan a chance to run. Obi-Wan does consider it, he won’t lie, but he stands stock still as if frozen to the ground. Anakin reaches up gently and wipes at one of his tears. Obi-Wan hadn’t even realized he started crying.

“Please don’t cry,” Anakin whispers through his tears. “I understand if you--if you don’t feel the same way, but I couldn’t be quiet about it once I realized. I don’t know how to love quietly.”

Obi-Wan does. Obi-Wan’s spent four years loving Anakin quietly, and now he doesn’t have any words left in him to love him out loud.

Anakin’s hand falls away from his face at his continued silence and he looks, if possible, more heartbroken. “I...I understand,” he murmurs. “You don’t feel the way I do. I--yes. I get it. I...deserve it.”

At this, Obi-Wan has to say something because it’s been one of the tenets of his world for years now that Anakin Skywalker deserves all the love there is in the entire universe. “No,” he says roughly, dragging the words kicking and screaming from the pit of his stomach. “It’s not that. It’s--”

Anakin looks at him with wide, wet, blue eyes.

“It’s that if you...if I say it and then...tomorrow you decide you don’t mean it...darling you have to know there would be no recovering from that, for me. I’ve been so obvious.”

Anakin blinks as the words register in his brain, and Obi-Wan can tell the exact moment they do because he inches closer and clutches tightly onto his shirt. “You’ve not been obvious at all,” he murmurs, eyes still shining, even as he directs his entire attention to his lips.

“What would I need to do?” Obi-Wan breathes, aching to wrap his arms around his waist and terrified that doing so will startle Anakin away from him. “What would I need to do for you to understand how much I...how much I’ve loved you for all these years?”

“Kiss me,” Anakin whispers, leaning down as if drawn by some magnetic pull.

Obi-Wan knows he will hate himself in the morning for giving in when Anakin is so obviously grief-stricken and looking for no-strings-attached physical comfort. And yet, he meets him halfway anyway.

#asks #prompt fill #lets be real these havent been ficlets for months let alone snippets #these are just. fics lmao #anyway i couldnt choose who to hurt/comfort with this prompt so ii actually went with both haha #very on brand #anakin's pov would of course contain the famous 'oh. OH.' of realization #obikin #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #i have so many amazing asks to respond to and im going to do it tonight #i just wanted to post this and then spend like a solid eight hours on my paintings because they have a really real and fast approaching #deadline #cw: cheating #married with a twist au

[wannabe-fic-writer]

All Over Again - Chapter 1

Summary: What was lost can be found. - DC & Marvel AU

Pairings: Lena x Reader ; Implied Natasha x Reader ; Platonic!Avengers x Reader ; Platonic!Superfriends x Reader 

Warning: 18+ Smut, Language, Violence

* * * * * *

Sighing, you splay yourself out on the grass, looking up at the distorted view of the sky as the red leaves of the tree above you sway. The gentle breeze sends a chill over your skin but it’s much too calming for you to move.

“Am I going to have to start carrying jackets around with me again?”

The familiarly sultry voice meets your ears over the sounds of nature. It makes your heart thump faster like it always had but this time an ache accompanies it. Her joking tone holds an underlying nervousness and you have to resist the urge to scoff at the drastic change in your conversations together. 

You could never forget the moment everything shifted. Your entire relationship with Natasha fell to pieces. All the love and trust that had grown stronger each year that you were together seemed to mean nothing to her suddenly.

Months on the run from the U.S. government, planning your futures together, it blew to hell in literal seconds. 

Everything you’d grown to know and love was pulled out from underneath you with three simple words: Hi, Bruce. Followed by the awkward pause and nervous, Nat.

Hope rose in your girlfriend’s eyes and you were unsure why. The main reason being that you were recruited by Fury during the Sokovia incident. You never met the infamous Bruce Banner turn Hulk, and didn't know about his history with your girl. And Natasha hadn’t found it necessary to tell you about it either.

Which left you in the dark and completely blindsided by Natasha’s decision to end things with you. Simply telling you she owed it to herself to see where things with Bruce went. And you being the person you are and loving Natasha the way that you do, you wanted her to be happy despite your heartbreak. 

All of that rested on your shoulders at the same time that Thanos appeared. Your broken heart seemed to shatter further when you lost your best friend Wanda and the many friends you’d gained. 

For five years you hurt. Grieving your lost friends and dealing with your broken heart. It seemed as though Natasha breaking up with you wasn’t even worth it as Banner left after Thanos and they didn’t see each other for five years.

Even after the five years though, you still were coping with your heartbreak despite the Avengers having gotten rid of Thanos for good. As you then had the privilege of seeing Natasha and Bruce together. And you could admit that they look good together, happy. 

Which means you need to find your own. You just aren’t sure how. 

You take a deep breath and look up at the redhead who’s watched you in your silence.“ I hadn’t planned on staying out here long so I didn’t grab one.” You respond, deciding to ignore her not so subtle hint at your relationship and personal quirk. 

Jackets are just the last thing you think about before you leave out and Natasha used to take it upon herself to bring one for you whenever you were with her. 

She smiles tightly and nods,“ okay. Well I was just coming to let you know that Steve and Bucky are almost done with dinner.”

When you nod in answer Natasha waits, silently debating if she wanted to say anything else or not, but chose not to and finally walked away. You waited a few extra minutes before pushing yourself up and heading toward the compound.

As you’re walking up to the door, your red leather clad friend lands beside you, her magic vanishing from her hands before she flings her arms around you. 

“Hello to you too.” You chuckle, hugging her back. 

Wanda smiles brightly,“ hi.” 

A small smile of your own hitting your lips. You’d missed the young woman as she was away on a mission with Sam. They weren’t far, just on the East Coast, but they’d been gone for a week, which was more than enough for you to begin to miss her.

Before either of you step into the building, she grabs your hand and laces your fingers together, gently tugging you off to the side. Soft light green eyes stare back sympathetically,“ how are you?” 

“Wan-” you sigh, running a hand up and through your hair.

“I’m just worried about you.” A little pout hits her lips followed by a joking smile,“ and I’m kind of the only reason you’re sane.”  

You throw your head back with a laugh. Then shaking your head and wrapping an arm around her shoulders,“ I’m fine Wanda. Thank you for the concern and sanity.”

Placing a quick kiss to her temple, you guide her into the building, more than happy to have your best friend back.

Like Natasha had told you, Steve and Bucky already have the table set and everyone is sitting around. No matter how hard you try, your gaze finds Bruce and Natasha, the man leans over to say something to her and a cute smile rises, reminding you of the one you’d caused her to have before. 

A squeeze of your hand pulls your eyes away and you nod to Wanda before sitting down beside her. Usual chatter circles the table, Sam and Wanda talking a bit about the mission briefly, and then asking all of you about what’s been going on. 

By the end of dinner you’re a mix of annoyed and happy. Your friends had made you laugh and smile just like usual, except every time you got lost in the joy of it all you forgot what was across from you and your gaze caught the image of Natasha and Bruce flirting, laughing, and smiling. It makes you so upset that you still wish it were you with her.

It’s been six years! What happens to time heals all wounds? Was that just a load of shit? Would you genuinely have to deal with being all bitter and jealous for the rest of your life.

“Welp,” you smack your hands to your thighs,“ Steve, Buck, dinner was incredible, thank you, but I have a few things I need to attend to so if you’ll excuse me.” Standing, you grab your plate and glass. 

“Not so fast Y/Ln,” his voice rings clear not but a second after you walked away.“ You’re all here for once so I’d like to inform you that you’ll all be attending the Stark Industries Investment dinner tomorrow night.” Tony smiles, eyes crinkling in the corners.

Your eyes narrow,“ what exactly would the Avengers be doing for your companies investors.”

“Persuading, encouraging, indulging. Investors would kill to hear mission stories and about all your equipment.” His tone is sweet, as if he’s trying to convince you all to come.

A party/dinner isn’t exactly what you’re feeling up to right now. And quite frankly it’s not necessary for every Avenger to show up.

From the looks of Steve’s face he isn’t going but you still have a bit of hope that is, until he speaks up,“ Bucky and I have a mission.”

Tony gives an expectant gaze to the rest of you.

“I’m always down to party.” Sam shrugs nonchalantly before returning to his food, pretty sure this is his third plate.

Bruce sighs,“ I’m under the impression that this isn’t an option for me.” 

Tony’s grimace is answer enough, but he still says,“ it is not. Also, no offense, probably don’t show up all big and green. The venue is large but-”

“Ah ah ah I got it.” The big green man waves his hand, then smiling down at Natasha,“ mind accompanying me?” She instantly smiles and nods and that small little gesture is enough for you to head out. 

Further, Tony goes,“ Maximoff?” 

And Wanda responds,“ I’ll only go if Y/n does.”

Dammit Wanda!

Turning on your heel, you have every intention of saying no. Only to find her giving you that damn pout, followed by her whispering,“ please.”

“Alright whatever.” 

With that you leave, cleaning your dishes, and then going straight to bed. In the morning you take extra care to avoid Natasha, you eat while she’s in the gym, only going to train after she’s long gone, and eating lunch on the roof with Wanda. 

You make it as far as into the venue for the Investment dinner before you have to see her again. Even then you wish you were blind. 

God she’s beautiful. It’s criminal the way that dress fits on her. And just as your eyes trail up her long legs and over the curves of her body to her piercing green eyes, her looking back at you pulls you to reality. 

You no longer have the right to look at her that way. No matter how good she looks, you can’t look at her like that. No, the man beside her is the only person who carries that privilege. 

“I’m gonna need a drink to get through this.” You sigh, beeligning for the bar instead of your seat. 

Wanda sticks close to you, definitely having seen your staring. 

Leaning against the bar, you wait for the bartender to come your way, then asking for an old-fashioned and you wait. Beside you, Wanda’s eyes flicker over the room, a nervousness in them. 

“Hey,” you nudge her arm with your elbow,“ I’d say it’s not that bad but it is.” The young woman’s eyebrows raise but you wave it off,“ you just have to put up with most people speaking to you like you know less because you make less. Other than that it’s alright.”

As she takes in your words, you accept your drink from the bartender and hand Wanda a flute of champagne. She’s not a drinker but the little boost is needed. 

With a reassuring smile to her and the last swig of your drink and guide her through the scattered crowd to Pepper. The blonde is more than happy to walk Wanda around, introducing her to a few people while you make rounds on your own. 

Just like usual, most conversations revolve around everyone else’s business, or the occasional question about your work that you can’t even discuss. But you manage to do as Tony asked, impressing them with talks of your abilities and that of which you can disclose. 

Majority of the people you talk to take a liking to you, or at least the superhero you, and you convince them to invest in Stark Industries, giving the whole “a company that leads in medical and technological advancements” spiel. 

“Still hate these things huh.”

Breathing in deeply, you exhale and turn to face Natasha. Her green eyes watch you cautiously and you’re in genuine disbelief that the badass Black Widow is so wary of you. Since the breakup she’s interacted with you as if she’s afraid you’ll hurt her.

You lick your lips,“ Natasha you speak to me like you don’t know me anymore.”

A sigh falls from her lips and she looks down at the bracelet on her wrist,“ I know. I’m sorry I just- I don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t.”

“Right,” you scoff lowly.“ You don’t have to worry about my feelings anymore I promise.”

“Y/n I-”

“Nat.” Bruce approaches, completely oblivious to the awkward tension flowing between you and his girlfriend.“ I’m sorry, do you mind if I steal her away for a moment.”

You smile bitterly,“ oh she is all yours.”

Green eyes look at you with an unreadable emotion but you brush it off, walking away with a glance back that reveals Bruce twirling the redhead on to the dance floor. 

You square your shoulders with a deep inhale and head back to the one place that you’ve been able to breathe tonight. 

“Another old fashioned please.” The lady nods and quickly makes the drink and you smile in thanks.

Taking a long swig from the dark liquor, you sigh contentedly at the burning trail down your throat. Your few seconds of peace interrupted by a deep voice speaking cockily. 

“A beautiful girl like yourself drinking dark liquor leads me to believe you’re not enjoying yourself.” The man smiles brightly showing off his, no doubt surgically whitened, teeth.“ Perhaps I could change that for you.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you pointedly down the rest of the drink, and tap the bartop in call for another.“ Bold of you to assume that I’m not having a good time.”

Before he can reply with his planned flirtatious remark, a lightly accented soft voice joins in,“ I’m sure Mister Richards meant no harm, he’s just a rather presumptuous man.” Her statement has you turning back to see who it came from.

Your eyes meeting the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen. A sentiment you didn’t think you’d ever make after Natasha. 

Her black hair pulled back into a neat ponytail, not a single strand falling loose. Beautiful light green eyes stare back accompanied by a red lipped white tooth smile. 

In your daze of taking in her appearance you miss what she says to Mister Richards, but it sends him away, leaving the two of you alone. 

“Um, forgive me for this, no doubt, repetitive question but, what company are you here representing?” Your eyes subconsciously trail down the line of her jaw and it’s incredibly hard to draw your attention away when she speaks.

“Luthor Corp.” Her lips turn up into an almost knowing smile and it has you quickly looking up into her eyes, heart pounding when you realize you’d been caught staring at her lips.“ I’m Lena Luthor.”

Clearing your throat, you hold your hand out to her,“ Y/n.” You expected a warm hand but while it’s soft, it’s fairly cold.“ Thanks for the save Miss Luthor.” Your hand returns to your glass, the chill of it like that of her hand. 

“It was nothing, I could tell from across the bar he’d said something you didn’t like.” She makes mention.

You grimace, a soft chuckle falling after,“ you’ll have to forgive me, controlling my expression isn’t a mastered craft as of yet.”

She waves you off, casually leaning her side against the bar as her drink is sat down,“ it takes years, I’m still working on it. Come to enough of these and you’ll get it.”

“Oh I’ve been to plenty,” her eyebrow quivers at that,“ I’ve just never been good at. . .lying. No offense to you in any way, I think you’re ability to deal with all this social-”

“Bullshit.” She finishes for you with a chuckle.

Nodding, you laugh as well,“ yeah that. It’s a true superpower Miss Luthor, and of my many, that is not one.”

“Superpower is a stretch.”

Your eyes narrow at her, a small smirk on your lips,“ something tells me it isn’t.” 

Throughout your continued conversation, her charm and genuine goodness radiates off of her. The woman listens intently to you speak, she makes you laugh, and indulges all your questions with zealous passion. 

As the night goes on neither of you find much entertainment outside of your little space at the bar. Not wanting to go home inebriated, you’d long since switched your liquor for plain club sodas, Lena suggesting the addition of cherry grenadine just for flavor. 

“The idea is brilliant, which I’m sure you know, I just think it has more potential than power storage. What if you used it as a power core instead.” You shrug simply. 

Lena’s hand halts in movement, the drink in her cup sloshing slightly as the action,“ that’s genius. But it wouldn’t be easy. I’ve toyed with alien energy before, it’s much more powerful than expected.”

“Which, I think, makes it all the more useful. Depending on how strong, you could power an entire village or a small town. Imagine giving small pieces of the core to third world countries.” 

An amused smile tugs at her lips for the nth time tonight,“ is your first thought always to help others or is that just the Avenger in you?” 

You chuckle,“ myself and the hero. I just don’t see why we wouldn’t use the knowledge and resources we obtain, alien and human, to help those who truly need it.”

Lena’s mouth opens in preparation for her next reply, however it doesn’t come as a body weakly collides with yours. Wide eyed you look over to see your best friend, obviously drunk, leaning on you.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You have to try the strawberry cake thingies.” Wanda tugs at your arm in a childlike manner. 

Frowning in Lena’s direction, the CEO shrugs. Gentle grabbing Wanda’s shoulders, you turn her to face you,“ what strawberry cake?” 

She smiles,“ the ones on the tray Y/n. The servers are walking around with- oO right here.” Fast as lightning, her hand shoots out and she grabs a small plate off the servers tray. Three little white chocolate truffles sit on it with milk chocolate drizzled over.“ Try.”

“O-” your reply cuts when she shoves a piece in your mouth. As good as it is, your eyes widen for an entirely different reason. Your tongue runs over your bottom lip as if to ensure you’re tasting what you’re tasting.“ Wan, how many of these have you eaten?”

Her hand raises to show three of her fingers.

Yep. The small woman ate nine strawberry champagne truffles. She’s drunk.

Lena, wanting to understand, retrieves one of the truffles and bites into. Her response is the same as yours. 

With an apologetic smile you look at her,“ I hate to cut the conversation short but I should probably get her home.”

“Of course of course. Hopefully we’ll be able to continue sometime.” She smiles sweetly and you nod.

After a short wave to her, you gather yours and Wanda’s things, and leave the building. 

“Y/n!” 

You freeze in step, tightening your hold on Wanda’s waist and pushing your free hand into your pocket, then turning to the source of the voice. 

Pepper takes the stairs quickly but with all the grace of a trained performer. She stops on the same step as you and smiles a little.“ I had to catch you before you left, Lena Luthor wanted me to give you this, and let you know that she’s expecting you at Luthor Corp soon.”

A slight frown pulls your eyebrows closer together as you stare down at the business card, her personal number scrawled on the back,“ did she say why?” Pepper simply shakes her head.

Truthfully she hadn’t been expecting Lena to approach her about you. Mainly because she had no idea the two of you met, she swore she’d introduced you to every investor there tonight. 

“Okay, how soon is soon?”

An apprehensive smile tugs at her lips, brows raised slightly,“ four days.”

#lena luthor #lena luthor x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #dcu #dcu x reader #reader insert #all over again

[leafs-lover]

Because Two People Got Drunk

Bedtime

Series Masterlist

A/N: I am so sad about Fred leaving and needed some Freddie vibes in my life.

Warnings: Fluff, possible swearing (I don't think so, but it seems weird since everything I write basically has it, so I'm gonna leave this warning just in case), soft smut (18+)

Word Count: 2400

Toys litter the playroom. Noah is in just a diaper having removed his clothes for some unknown reason, a decision you didn’t bother to fight him on. He and Lucas are running around the room, laughter echoing of the walls. Walking back in you set three cups down on the table for the kids when your phone dings, a notification for the front gate.

“Hey boys," you call out and their little feet stop, bodies turning to look at you with mischievous grins on their faces. “Guess what?”

Their brown eyes light up and wide smiles land on their faces “daddies home.”

“Daddy," they cheer running down the hall towards the door. Upon hearing daddy Elise popped her head up from her puzzle and you smile, “yeah baby girl daddies home.”

A wide smile tugs on her lips. You hear the door close followed by your son’s laughter echoing down the hall as Fred’s heavy steps get closer. Their laughs get louder and you can hear Fred chatting with them, the second Elise hears his voice she begins to crawl towards him.

“Oh I missed you boys,” Fred kisses both of their cheeks.

“Miss you too daddy," they giggle back as he gives them a slight squeeze.

Finding your daughter with his eyes you both watch as she grips the table pulling herself up on it. It’s nothing new, she has pulled herself up on furniture before, even used it to help her take a few assisted steps; it’s what happens next that is new.

She opens her mouth, and you expect to hear random babbling, incoherent sounds or an excited coo. Instead her little voice calls out “dadda," which stops the two of you in your tracks.

“Did she just -" you start.

“Oh she sure did," Fred cuts you off. Setting the two boys on the floor he walks over to Elise and picks her up pressing his lips to her temple. “She did just say her first word," he whispers, eyes glazing over with tears.

“Can’t believe none of our kids said momma first," you mutter walking over to them as Fred pulls you in to his side.

“Sound jealous babe," he chuckles kissing your temple.

“No I’m just frustrated that none of my kids said my name first," you mumble tickling Elise’s side while she laughs.

“I’m sorry babe," he bounces Elise on his hip but you know he isn’t sorry. Glancing up you can see he is completely over the moon. Wide smile as his eyes begin to gloss over. The same reaction he had for your three boys.

“Can you say it again" he bounces your eleven month old daughter on his hip. ”Say dadda" he repeats.

“Or momma," you add in.

“No just one word at a time,” he teases with a grin. “Say dadda" he waits a few seconds “dadda" he repeats.

“Daddy,” Lucas giggles wrapping his arm around Fred’s leg. Laughing you bend down to pick him up. “Yeah" you smile.

“Dadda," Elise repeats and Fred’s entire face lights up again.

“Oh you are just perfect E," he whispers kissing her cheek as the tears fall from his eyes. Placing a kiss on Lucas’s head he smiles “yeah you’re perfect too Lucas," he smiles.

Pulling him from your grasp he walks over to couch calling Noah who climbs onto his lap. “All of you, god I love you all so much,” he alternates which child he presses a kiss to with each word. Barely finishing the sentence the twins squirm out of his grasp. While they love to cuddle they are not a fan of being sandwiched in large group hugs.

You take the opportunity to curl in beside him; his arm wrapping around you, holding you close. “You’re amazing you know that smuk,” his lips gently brush against your head.

“Me?” you ask craning your head to him, eyes still glossed over. The loud laughter from your sons begins to fill the room and Elise wrangles her way out of Fred’s grasp to join in on the excitement.

“Of course you," he chuckles kissing your lips. “Couldn’t have made these beautiful babies without you.”

Brushing away the tears that hover under his eyelid you gently press your lips to him, a slight blush hitting your cheeks. “So Ollie came home yesterday,” you explain. “Friday is hero day at school.”

“Oh yeah" he leans back against the couch pulling you with him. “You get him a captain America costume?” He asks.

“No he told me he didn’t want to be him, said Captain America isn’t his hero.”

“Really?" he laughs. “He’s been asking to be him for Halloween for weeks and it’s April.”

“Mhm, well I guess the teacher explained the difference between heroes and superheroes. So while Captain America is his favourite superhero, he isn’t his hero.”

“Oh yeah? Who is then?” his eyes are shifting over the kids keeping a watchful eye on the boys. As they approach their second birthday they have been rough housing more and more. With Elise unable to stand she has gotten in their crossfire a time or two.

“He very confidently said his hero is his daddy," you explain.

“What?” his eyes snap to meet yours and the tears that just subsided quickly build back up. “He said I’m his hero?” He chokes out in shock.

“Yeah, he wants to dress like you on Friday, I said you’d help him with what to wear.”

“Oh my god these kids are amazing," he smiles wiping away some tears. “The absolute best.”

“I know babe,” you smile running your hand over his chiseled jaw. He has a slight stubble having recently shaved off his beard.

“Can we go get him?” Fred asks turning to you. “Pull him from school a little early.”

“A little? It’s not even lunchtime” you laugh.

“I just,” he sighs. “I missed you, all of you. Ten days is too long and I just want my family.”

“He’s in school," you grin feeling your heart flutter. It became apparent how much of a family man Fred is a long time ago. But it still surprises you every time he says something like that, makes your heart skip a beat.

“Relax its kindergarten not SAT prep."

Shaking your head you gently press your lips to his, “go get him, I’ll make lunch.”

“You’re the best skat," he hums against you before pulling away and heading down the hall to get Oliver.

**

When Oliver walked into the kitchen he was talking a mile a minute, telling Fred some story about Anya. You can’t help the smile that tugs on your lips hearing him talk about her, his best friend. Every day he has a million stories about Sammy and Anya.

Oliver tells you that Fred told him you are doing whatever he wants today. Grinning at Fred, Oliver tells you he wants to play ministicks, go bowling and mini-putting. You know that you likely won’t have enough time to complete all the activities, but after a quick lunch the six of you are downstairs.

You and Fred are on your knees, somehow you ended up in net even though the obvious choice would have been Fred. He is behind Elise, holding her up as she attempts to take a shot, giggling when she hits it. The three boys have all but turned it into a wrestling match you can barely contain. But the true highlight is when they all tackle Fred. Four tiny bodies climbing all over him, laughter and giggles filling the room while they try to tickle him.

“Can we go bowling now mommy?” Oliver asks finally climbing away from the pile.

“Bowling!” you ask excitedly.

“Mhm I want to go bowling,” he proudly proclaims.

“Guess we’re going bowling,” you laugh pulling him in for a hug.

Bowling goes relatively well, Elise napped the entire time in her stroller. Fred used the time to show off his skills to the kids, getting multiple strikes and always having some ridiculous celebration afterwards.

But the real excitement was the bowling aide. Most of the lanes near you just have a plain metal rail for the kids to roll the ball down. But this lane had colourful plastic dinosaurs, which instantly captured the kid’s attention. The twins were more interested in trying to climb on the dinosaur than actually going bowling, and Oliver attempted to imitate all of Fred’s victory dances after all of his rolls.

On the way home you stopped and pick up some takeout while the three little ones napped in the backseat. Oliver and Fred spent most of dinner chatting about his costume for hero day. Fred suggested Oliver could wear a couple smaller pieces of his hockey equipment, and he would get him a jersey to fit over it. You tried to tell Oliver that bringing a hockey stick to school likely wasn’t a good idea, worried about a child getting hurt by it. But Oliver insisted he needed it citing “goalies use their sticks mommy.”

**

“They asleep?” you ask turning the volume of the TV down as Fred returns to the living room later that night. Elise fell asleep a while ago and you put her to bed, but Fred took on the boys and up until a half hour ago you could hear their laughter from downstairs.

“Yeah,” he falls on you, head resting on your shoulder. “The twins passed out after one book, Ollie fell asleep part way through the third.”

“That’s good,” you hum running your hand through his hair.

“Mmm,” he moans while you gently stroke his scalp. “They are having a slumber party in Ollie’s bed.”

“All of them?”

“Mhm,” he chuckles pulling out his phone to show you a picture of them all passed out. Noah has his head on Oliver’s stomach sleeping horizontally across it, and Lucas is only visible by a few red hairs sticking out over the comforter. You chuckle and feel your heart flutter slightly at the cuteness of your boys.

“Today was a great day,” you sigh.

“It was perfect,” he pops his head up and kisses you softly. “Tomorrow will be too.”

“Oh yeah? What are we doing tomorrow? Skating, building forts?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want to do,” he laughs. “I was thinking of taking you shopping, saw a purse I thought you might like, getting massages and going to Fig and Ash for dinner.”

“Wow sounds like a recipe for screaming kids,” you laugh knowing that they wouldn’t have the patience for any of it.

“Tomorrow’s your day,” he kisses you softly again. “I called a few days ago and booked a sitter, she’s coming at 11,” he explains. “Want to take you out, show you how much I appreciate you and all you do. Those were just suggestions though. We can do whatever you want, I just want to be home to tuck the kids in for bed.”

“Baby,” you choke up pulling his face closer to yours. The kiss is soft, lips gently pressed against the others. Slowly you swipe his lip with your tongue and he opens his mouth allowing you entrance. Hooking one leg around his back you pin his body to yours.

Resting on his forearms, one of his hands tangles into your hair giving it a light tug. Groaning into the kiss, you pull away for a breath of air; his forehead gently pressed against yours. “So I know my time technically doesn’t start for,” you turn your wrist to glance at your watch, “like 14 hours. But think you could make an exception and start it early?”

“For you, my beautiful wife, the mother of my children?” His lips gently press against yours while one of his large hands trail down your body, toying with the hem of your pyjama shorts. “For you I’d do anything,” he lifts your hips to pull your shorts down your legs and they fall into a pile on the floor.

Spreading your legs apart with his knee, two fingers find your folds. He groans running his digits through the wetness that has been pooling. Slowly he slides them in, slowly curling them as he peppers your neck and collarbone with warm open mouth kisses.

“Freddie” you moan, his mustache tickling your skin. “Babe I just need you to fuck me,” you admit.

It’s been 10 days since you saw him, but over 2 weeks since you had sex. The days leading up to his road trip a virus spread through the house, and just as one kid was recovering another one would get sick. It was almost an entire week of little bodies coughing, sniffles, fevers and tears. Through the stress of sick kids you were both so busy and drained that when you finally got to bed, that’s what you did. You went to bed knowing in a few hours you’d be woken up by someone having a coughing fit, or a small body climbing in between the two of you.

“I’m having fun smuk,” he whines but you notice his lips curling upward against your neck.

“I know,” you breathe after a hard and deep thrust. “Please baby,” your hands attempt to grasp the hem of his track pants. Faltering when increases his pace.

Sucking on your neck, his fingers slip out and he pushes his pants to his knees. He gently guides himself in, your breath getting caught in your throat when he bottoms out. Holding your leg around his waist he begins to drag his cock in and out, setting a slow but deep pace.

“I’m not gonna last long babe” he mumbles squeezing the back of your thigh tighter. “Touch yourself for me.”

Moaning against his neck you bring a hand from his shoulder down to your clit. Pressing hard circles into it your moans get louder. “Freddie” you pant out as your high approaches. Sucking hard against your neck you know you he is leaving very obvious hickey but you don’t care. Your nails dig into his shoulder harder as the familiar knot in your stomach tightens.

“Y/N” he groans getting sloppy above you.

“Fred” you chant out, his name becoming a mantra to your lips. Fred grunts when your heel digs into his back and your walls flutter around him. The knot in your stomach unravels as euphoria floods your body. After a few shallow thrusts you feel Fred spill inside you, painting your walls white.

“Can we just do that all day tomorrow?” You giggle as he falls onto you.

“It’s your day babe, we can do whatever you want,” he murmurs releasing your leg and curling up against you. “Just have to be home for bedtime.”

#frederik andersen #freddie andersen #fred andersen #frederik andersen smut #frederik andersen x reader #frederik andersen fic #freddie andersen fic #freddie andersen x reader #freddie andersen smut #fred andersen fic #fred andersen x reader #fred andersen smut #nhl smut #nhl fic #because two people got drunk

[yelena-bellova]

Don't Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One: Hide and Secrets

Plot: Reeling from the loss of Chewbacca, the group travels to Kijimi in hopes of retrieving a vital piece of information...

Series Masterlist

Warnings: graphic description of violence/injuries, violent intrusive thoughts, blood, language, choking, we're not here to have a good time people so lots of angst today,

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: Even though the rest of the series is going to be brutal, this is the last episode where there's even a little bit of a breather. Related to that, we're so close to the end and I'm not sure how to process that 🥺 Hope you enjoy!!

----

When I finally dried my tears and went about summoning the same strength I had when losing Dad and my uncle, I exited the refresher. Finn and Rey stood in the main hold, Rey jumped to her feet, rubbing her typically sweaty palms against her pants.

“Y/n,” she quickly said, “I know that it will never be enough, but I-“ “Rey,” I held up two hands as I stopped in front of my distraught friend, “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know you could do that, right?” She rapidly shook her head, “No, I had no idea.” “Then,” I sadly shrugged my shoulders, “I can’t be mad at you, you’d have never meant to hurt Chewie.” The tears in her eyes still welled regardless of my forgiveness. “I really am sorry,” she whispered, her throat catching with sorrow.

I pulled her into my arms and the two of us embraced, sharing in what little comfort could be taken in the moment. The unsettling feeling of secrecy was what caused me to pull back, my hands still rested on Rey’s shoulders as I scanned her face.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I stated, watching as her eyes became fearful before turning my gaze to Finn, “The same goes for you. What's going on?” Rey’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, whether a truth or a lie had been building on her lips was a loss to find out as Poe marched out of the cockpit. “We’ve only got eight hours left, so what are we gonna do?”

“This isn’t over,” I whispered to Rey, dropping my hands and turning to the group. “What can we do?” Finn said hopelessly, “We gotta get back to base.”

“We don’t have time to go back,” Poe argued, “We are not giving up. If we do that, Chewie died for nothing.” “Poe, Chewie had the dagger,” Finn replied.

I spoke up, “Yeah, but there has to be some other way.”

“Well, there isn’t,” Finn responded, “That was the only clue to the wayfinder thing and it’s gone.” I frustratedly rubbed my hands over my face and left them there, our problems were no easier to face in the self-inflicted darkness.

“So true,” 3PO said from the corner he stood in, “The inscription lives only in my memory now.”

I spread two of my fingers for my eyes to peek out, “Come again?" “The inscription of the dagger is stored in my memory banks,” he answered, “But the translation from a forbidden language cannot be retrieved. That is short of a complete redacted memory bypass.”

“A complete what?” Finn asked.

“It’s a terribly dangerous and sinful act performed on unwitting droids by dregs and criminals,” 3PO replied, turning away as if the whole idea was entirely out of the question.

Finn’s head whipped to Poe and I, “Let’s do that!” Determined as ever, Poe’s eyes sparked that familiar flame once again. “I know a black market droidsmith.” “Black market droidsmith?” 3PO echoed incredulously.

“But he’s on Kijimi,” Poe said, throwing his head back defeatedly. “What’s wrong with Kijimi?” I asked.

“I had a little bad luck on Kijimi,” Poe made every effort to not look any of us in the eye, “But if this mission fails, it’s all been for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time…” he finally looked up at me, nudging my arm with one of his gloved fingers, “3PO’s your and Leia’s droid, you’re the only one here that can give permission to do this.” I sighed and looked over at the droid I was so used to disappointing throughout my life. “We can’t quit now,” I said, “For Chewie.” Finn rose from his seat and nodded confidently before taking my hand, “For Chewie.”

Rey, who still looked every bit as guilty as she thought she should be, stood next and took Finn’s outstretched hand. “For Chewie.”

Poe looked down at my empty hand and back up at me, I held it out for him signaling that we weren’t currently at the odds we had been the last time we’d spoken. The warmth of his palm radiated through his leather glove and he ever so slightly squeezed, the only comfort he could provide me with in such a desperate hour. I’d take whatever I could get.

3PO shuffled over to us, taking Poe’s other hand in his in silent agreement with my decision. At the gesture, Poe visibly became uncomfortable, the list of people he was okay with being openly affectionate with began and ended with me. “Kijimi!” he announced, letting go off both our hands and heading back for the cockpit.

I wasn’t far behind, assuming the role of copilot as I sat down next to him. “You’ve never mentioned Kijimi, not even once,” I said, awaiting his answer that wasn’t going to come, “What are you hiding from me, Dameron?”

My question was enough to drag his eyes away from the controls to meet mine, a look I couldn’t decipher in them. He wasn’t fearful, he wasn’t angry, but he certainly didn’t appreciate me bringing up whatever misfortune he’d run into on Kijimi. “Thrusters a go?” he asked, ignoring my curiosity.

As I mumbled my confirmation, I settled into my chair at great unease knowing that I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets from my friends. We all were.

——

Kijimi was cold and unforgiving, much like the stormtroopers that roamed the planet’s streets.

The First Order was banging on every door and questioning every life form they could. All of us, save Poe, were hidden on one side of a building, waiting for my boyfriend to return from scouting out the territory for a safe path to wherever it was we were going. His jacketed figure finally made its way back to our group, I could see his frown even with the terrible lighting. “They’re everywhere,” he reported, “All right, I know what we should do.” “So do I,” 3PO interrupted, “We should leave.”

I placed a hand over where the droid’s mouth would be if he were human, “Now is not the time.” “Follow me,” Poe ordered, leading us down the street towards our unknown destination. Though only unknown to us, Poe navigated the way with as much ease as he did the jungle of Ajan Kloss. He’d clearly spent a lot of his time on Kijimi. “All right,” he stopped our group against another wall, “Let’s head down this way.”

A cocked blaster pressed against his head stopped any further movement.

“Heard you were spotted at Monk’s Gate,” a modulated female voice said, “Thought, ‘He’s not stupid enough to come back here.’” “Oh, you’d be surprised,” Poe replied, his voice somehow audibly displaying both nervousness and cockiness.

The blaster I kept on my hip was off its holster and in my hand with speed that even surprised me. “I don’t know who the hell you are, but it’s in your best interest to lower the gun,” I said, my voice steely as I aimed my weapon at the gold helmet the woman wore.

“What’s going on?” Finn asked, one step behind me and ready to fight if necessary for Poe’s life. “Guys, this is Zorii,” Poe awkwardly made introductions, the barrel of the blaster still against his temple, “Zorii, this is Rey and Finn and,” he blindly gestured to me, “That’s Y/n.”

“I could pull this trigger right now,” Zorii threatened. “I’ve seen you do worse,” Poe replied quickly. “For a lot less…” “Can we just…” in a bold move, Poe turned and removed his hood, sporting the smallest smirk as he cautiously eyed the woman, “Talk about this?” “I wanna see your brains in the snow…” Zorii answered, not taking kindly to his diplomacy.

“You make one move and I’ll give everybody a display of just that,” I growled, ignoring both the Jedi way and my wondering just how well Poe knew this woman, there was an ease between their back and forth that stirred an almost jealous feeling in me…

“So you’re still mad?” Poe asked, “Zorii, we could use your help. We gotta crack this droid’s head open and fast.” An indignant 3PO spoke up, “Pardon me!” Poe ignored him, “We’re trying to find Babu Frik.” “Babu? Babu only works for the crew,” Zorii answered, seemingly unthreatened by my steady hand and pointed blaster, “That’s not you anymore.”

“What crew?” Rey asked.

My eyes flicked to Poe, watching him shake his head rapidly before silently admitting defeat to the truth Zorii couldn’t be stopped from sharing. “Funny, he never mentioned it…your friend’s old job was running spice.”

“You were a spice runner?” Finn asked, almost as surprised as I was.

Poe was quick to deflect the unflattering light that was being shed on him, “You were a stormtrooper?” “Were you a spice runner?” Rey echoed the question.

“Were you a scavenger? We could do this all night.” “You don’t have all night,” Zorii said as she began to stalk around us, her blaster still trained on Poe, “You know I’m still digging out of the hole you put me in when you left to join the Resistance,” her head tilted in Rey’s direction before looking back at me, “You two. You’re the ones they’re looking for. Bounty for them might just cover us.” I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know that the two bodies that had followed Zorii were slowly making their way towards us, I met Rey’s eyes quickly and gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“Djak’kankah!” Zorii shouted. “Don’t djak’kankah,” Poe hurried from beside me.

In synch, Rey pulled her staff out from behind her back and I tossed my blaster to Finn to unsheathe my lightsaber. Rey knocked Zorii to the ground while I made work of fatally damaging Zorii’s comrade’s weapons. Within seconds, they’d all been taken care of and I turned to see Rey had her saber pointed at Zorii’s body with the latter aiming their gun at my fellow padawan.

“We could really use your help,” Rey said, nicer than I could have ever been in such a situation, “Please.” “Not that you care,” Zorii said, her chest heaving from the fight as she looked between the both of us, “But I think you’re alright.” “I care,” Rey replied, deactivating her blade and extending a hand to Zorii.

“Quit threatening him” I said, nodding towards a slightly stunned Poe, “And we won’t have a problem.” Zorii, in fact, proved to be anything but a problem. She led us down a back way to a trader’s den, confidently marching in as if she owned the place. For all I knew, maybe she did. I didn’t know the woman or how she knew my boyfriend, whom it seemed I also didn’t know. Poe had kept an entire chunk of his life hidden from me all the years that I’d known him and something about that hurt. However, with 3PO hooked up to a multitude of wires, I was trying my best to focus on the matters at hand. “I haven’t the faintest idea why I agree to this,” the droid said from his seated position, “I must be malfunctioning,” Babu Frik, the little alien that Poe had known once upon a time worked on one of 3PO’s wires, causing him to repeat himself, “I must be malfunctioning.”

“You agreed to this because it’s our only option,” I said from my spot next to him, “You do this and you’re a hero to the galaxy.” “Babu Frik?” Rey asked the small droid mechanic, “Can you help us with this?’ He gave an answer in a language none of us could understand, causing Rey to look elsewhere for a translation. “Zorii? Is this gonna work?” Zorii moved from her position on the steps with Poe, the two of them having warmed up to each other a little too fast for my liking. She posed a question in Babu Frik’s tongue, the creature answering back in his naturally slow manner. “He says he’s found something in your droid’s forbidden memory bank. Words translated from Sith.” “That’s it!” I exclaimed, patting 3PO’s metal shoulder. “Yeah, that’s what we need,” Finn echoed my excitement from behind Rey and I.

“Who are you hanging out with that speaks Sith?” Zorii questioned Poe, who was making his way down to stairs to come into the same space. “Babu, can you make him translate it?” he asked.

Babu answered.

“Yes,” Zorii translated, “But it will cause a complete-“ “A complete memory wipe,” 3PO finished.

My eyes widened, “A what?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Poe held up a hand, “We make him translate it, he won’t remember…anything?”

“Droid memory go blank,” Babu answered, speaking enough of our language to confirm Poe’s question, “Blank, blank.” “There must be another way!” 3PO exclaimed, I was still too in shock to form words. “Doesn’t R2 back up your memory?” Finn asked.

“Oh, please, R2’s storage units are famously unreliable.”

“No,” I finally found my voice and announced it to the room, “I’m calling it. We’re not doing this, I’m sorry, but we’re gonna have to find another way.” “Y/n…” Poe started, carefully tiptoeing around the impending explosion of emotions I was about to have. “Nope, not happening,” I continued, “I’m not losing anyone else. Babu, thank you for your time, start putting him back together.” Rey gently grasped my arm, “Y/n…” 3PO, for all his shortcomings, was one of the steadiest presences in my life. He hadn’t been just a faithful servant to me and my family, he’d been my most dependable friend. There had been too many losses in the Resistance in the past year and fresh off of Chewie’s death, I wasn’t prepared to let another piece of my family go.

And if the very fate of the galaxy didn’t depend on getting the damned inscription, I’d have allowed myself to be selfish.

Slowly turning away from Rey, I came to stand in front of where 3PO sat hooked up to Babu’s machines. “Do we have a choice in this?” I asked softly, my mouth suddenly feeling unreasonably dry.

The droid processed for a moment before rising from his seat and taking a few steps away from us. “If this mission fails, it was all for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time…” 3PO turned and faced our group, staring silently at us all.

“What are you doing there, 3PO?” Poe asked.

“Taking one last look, sir,” he answered, “At my friends.”

I shut my eyes, my wet lashes dropping a tear or two down my cheeks as the sentiment hit me. “Go ahead,” I whispered, giving Babu the authority to do what needed to be done.

Noise from outside broke the moment. “Night raids are gonna start soon,” Zorii stated, “I’ll keep lookout.”

“I’m coming with you,” Poe said, chasing after her departing figure in a surprising turn of events. I dragged my tearful eyes away from my soon to be amnesic droid to my boyfriend who wasn’t sparing any glances my way.

“You still don’t trust me?” Zorii asked.

“Did you ever trust me?” my boyfriend fired back as they climbed the staircase together.

“Nope.” My eyes remained trained on the last spot where Poe had been visible to me before he disappeared with the mystery woman. It didn’t matter, the hurt and anger I felt with Poe for leaving me as I readied myself to say goodbye to 3PO wouldn’t change with knowing their history together. But damn it all if I didn’t want to slap Poe a little for not choosing to stay with me rather than go with Zorii. I could feel Rey and Finn’s concerned eyes through the back of my head, I didn’t have to turn around to showcase my jealousy.

“It’s fine,” I lied, clenching my fists at my sides, “He can do whatever the hell he wants, we’ve got bigger concerns.” I walked back over to where 3PO was once again seated, Babu already preparing him for the procedure. “Thanks for…” I wrapped two arms around the gold droid’s neck, “Everything.”

One metal arm patted my back awkwardly, hugs weren’t exactly something we typically exchanged. “You are most welcome, Mistress Y/n. Your companionship had brought me a great many joys throughout our years together.” There was nothing more to be said, or rather there was so much more and not enough time to say it. I backed away to let Babu do his work and stepped to the side, occupying the space next to Finn and keeping a watchful eye as the creature began to operate on my droid. Bee and D-O, the abandoned droid Bee had discovered and activated on the ship, watched from the opposite side of the room as well. Minutes went by without a word, the only sound in the room was Babu’s tools picking and prodding at the inside of 3PO’s head.

“Oh, I just had an idea,” 3PO eventually said, “There’s something else we could try-“ We’d never know what he’d been thinking as Babu hit the correct circuit and 3PO lost power. Finn reached a hand around my back to land on my shoulder as I flinched, the sight of him switched off not by his own accord a little hard on me. Rey took the time to excuse herself and push past us, going to check on Bee and D-O.

“You don’t have to watch, y’know…” Finn said, “If it’s too much…” “No,” I shook my head, my eyes still on the droid whose loyalty I could only hope to match, “I’m staying with him.” There was a pregnant pause between the two of us before Finn took a breath, “Can I ask you a question?” “I’ll answer yours if you answer mine…” I replied.

“What’s going on with you and Poe?” I sighed and crossed my arms, taking a defensive position as if I could shield myself from the reality of the topic. “Nothing good…” I answered, “Things have been rough lately.” Taking his time to handle the weight of my answer, he couldn’t stop himself from asking a followup. “You guys are gonna be okay though, right?”

Emotions had run high all day, the moment we were in was no exception. I’d liked to have blamed the tears that stung my eyes on saying goodbye to 3PO, but I couldn’t lie to myself. Poe and I were drifting apart and that struck a deeper fear in me than I’d ever known.

I cleared my throat, the thought of admitting my feelings out loud wasn’t one I was ready to handle. “Sorry, no follow ups. My turn…What’s your secret?” I’d hit the target just as I’d intended to, though I still wasn’t sure what I was searching for. Whatever it was, I could sense that Finn was desperate to tell somebody. “I can’t…I can’t tell you here,” he finally relented from secrecy in its entirety, “Later.”

Nodding in response, I watched him leave to go find where Rey and the droids had wandered off to. I stayed silent as I watched Babu try to access whatever apart of 3PO’s circuits the inscription lay in. I decided that once we returned to our ship, I’d try to get word to Mom and give her an update. She was undoubtably worried by now and she didn’t need to wonder any longer than necessary.

The hatch at the top of the staircase opened to reveal Zorii and Poe. “There’s an incoming destroyer,” Zorii announced.

“We gotta go now, did we get it?” Poe asked.

“Wouldn’t have to ask if you’d have stayed,” I mumbled to myself, just loud enough that he could possibly hear it. “Babu?” “Yep, droid is ready!” Babu answered back, making one final adjustment to 3PO to make the droid’s eyes turn red and his torso to sit straight up. I jumped back at the unsettling sight.

“The Emperor’s wayfinder is in the Imperial vault,” a voice that definitely didn’t belong to the beloved droid informed us, “At delta 3-6, transient 9-3-6, variant 3-2 on a moon in the Endor system. From the southern shore. Only this blade tells. Only this blade tells.” With an exclaim, Babu shut 3PO off again and he fell back in his chair.

“The Endor system,” Finn said, “Where the last war ended?”

An overhead rumbling that shook the ceiling of the workshop caused us all to look up, Rey was only slightly ahead of me as we made our way up the stairs fearlessly to open the hatch. The average being wouldn’t have been able to tell the ominous Star Destroyer having in the sky apart from any other, but Rey and I weren’t average. “It’s him…” I muttered.

“Ren’s Destroyer.” “He’s here?” Poe asked from below. I was suddenly struck with an overwhelming sensation, different than the empathetic pain I felt when one was injured or the unfortunate attacks I’d been suffering from lately. This was warmth and familiarity and…family.

“Rey,” I stuck a hand out and blindly reached for her, “It’s Chewie.” Sensing the same thing I was, she repeated his name hopefully.

“What about him?” Finn asked. “He’s on the ship” I answered, my voice cracking with emotion, “He’s alive.” “What? How?” Poe asked in disbelief.

“He’s alive!” Rey exclaimed, “He must’ve been on a different transport.” “We gotta go get him,” Finn stated, as if it wasn’t what we were all thinking.

I bounded down the steps with a newfound joy, something I’d thought was impossible to find in our situation. “No time to waste, let’s pack it up!” I said, moving around Zorii towards 3PO. As soon as I landed at the droid’s side, he sat up. “Might I introduce myself,” he said, “I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations,” he looked around the room at the various faces, “And you are?” “Okay, that’s gonna be a problem,” Poe commented, pointing at the droid.

“Okay,” I rubbed my eyes out of stress before placing to hands on 3PO’s arm, “I promise I will explain everything to you but right now, we don’t have the time so I’m gonna need you to trust us. Now,” I bent down and grabbed his discarded coat, “Put this on and follow us.” “Trust you? When I don’t even know who you are? I don’t see-“ “I’m your master, okay?” I hurriedly pulled the protocol droid to his feet and started shoving his arms into the jacket, “And if you want to live, you’ll listen to me when I say we need to get the hell out of here.”

Begrudgingly, the droid followed along as our group hurried out of Babu Frik’s workshop and into the snowy streets of Kijimi. I could sense Ren’s incoming presence, causing me to urge us all to move faster.

“3PO, move your metal ass!” Poe said frustratedly as we closed in on where our ship was parked, “We’re almost there.” “How dare you,” he exclaimed, “We’ve only just met!” Rey, Finn, the droids and I rushed between two buildings before I noticed that Poe and Zorii had hung behind. I stopped and watched the two share an exchange I couldn’t make out, Zorii shoved something into Poe’s hand just before I heard the sound of a ship overhead. Ren.

“We need to go!” I shouted annoyedly, when Poe made no effort to end their conversation, I rolled my eyes and shoved Rey and Finn forward, “Go, he’ll catch up.” We made our way to the ship and loaded in, I seated myself in the pilot’s chair, taking it upon myself to get us where we needed to be. Poe eventually made his way to the cockpit just as I was making the final checks.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Dameron,” I retorted as I lifted us off the ground, “I’m sure making chit chat with old flames was more important than getting our asses off this snowy wasteland.”

Poe tossed a coin shaped token into my lap without a word, I picked it up and upon inspection identified it as a First Order captain’s medallion. It was a surefire way to get us aboard the Destoryer when there’d previously been no plan. Connecting the dots that it was Zorii who had given it to him, I decided it was in everybody’s best interest if I stopped talking.

Once we made it up to the meaning ship, a First Order officer came over the comms and asked for our identification. I slipped the medallion into the slot with Poe, Finn and Rey anxiously positioned around me. We all held our breath as we awaited confirmation that we’d been granted passage. I exhaled forcefully when the message came through, “We’re clear, hanger 12.” Together, and yet entirely separate, Poe and I navigated the ship into the designated landing zone without any problems. I jumped out of my seat and threw my snow jacket off. Ren was still on Kijimi, clearly unable to sense that we were no longer there, which would buy us time. Not much, but hopefully enough to retrieve Chewie and chart a course to Endor safely.

The four of us bounded down the ramp of the ship and fired our blasters at the stormtroopers demanding our credentials plus a few that waited from a distance. “You three, stay there!” Rey ordered the droids.

“Happily!” 3PO called back. “Which way?” Poe asked Finn, the only one of us who had a decent shot at navigating the foreign ship.

“No idea,” he disappointedly answered, “Follow me!” We obeyed his command and let him lead on, we maneuvered down a great many hallways as stealthily as we could. Eventually once we heard the marching footsteps of a group of troopers, we ducked between panels that stuck out of the wall and hid till they passed. We darted out and made our way down another hall, taking cues from Finn, until we turned around to come face to face with two stormtroopers.

“Drop your weapons!” one of them ordered. While Finn and Poe immediately held out their hands for the troopers to see, Rey took a brave step forward. “It’s okay that we’re here,” she said smoothly, waving a hand in a semi circle.

A beat of silence passed before the stormtroopers lowered their weapons obediently, “It’s okay that you’re here.” “It’s good…”

“You’re relieved that we’re here,” I added, waving my hand in a matching manner.

“Thank goodness you’re here.” “Welcome, guys.” “We’re looking for a prisoner and his belongings,” Rey continued, the supposed guards giving up the information all too willingly. We wasted no time in leaving them behind and making for where they’d said Chewie’s was. Upon finding out the specific type of cell he was being held in was meant for torture, I strode with a new urgency.

“They said Chewie’s this w-“ I started, before losing all words and clutching the wall as the familiar splitting pain entered my head.

The flames had grown closer.

The screams echoed louder.

A well known animalistic cry filled my ears.

With a blood red lightsaber in my hand extended, I turned to see Chewbacca’s body laid out on the ground, his chest rising and falling deathly slow, lightsaber wounds marking his hairy body.

“Don’t be afraid,” the deep voice of Ren came from behind me, “You know exactly what you’re capable of.” I bit down on my lip so hard that I could taste blood in an attempt to stifle the scream that was trying its hardest to escape my mouth. The pain couldn’t die fast enough once the attack ceased, Ren’s voice still echoing in my mind like it was a cavern. “Y/n,” Poe was quick to steady me as my legs went out from underneath me, “Are you okay? What the hell was that?” Another secret was what it was. I’d managed to keep my hellish conscious nightmares hidden from him over the last few months. “I’m f-fine,” I panted, shrugging off his helpful hands as I rose to my feet shakily, “Finn,” I waved my blaster towards the control panel, “The doors.” He listened to me and went to work on unlocking them, I ignored Poe’s sudden concern for me and focused on Rey, who had separated herself from us. “What is it?” I asked in between heaving breaths, my heart rate sky high as the images of my dead friend still danced in my head.

“The dagger is on this ship,” she said, “We need it.” “Why?” Poe asked as he approached her, I stayed leaned up against the wall. “A feeling,” Rey answered, “I’ll meet you back at the hanger.” “I’m coming with you,” I stated, pushing off the wall in a sad attempt to follow after her.

“Y/n, you can barely walk, you need to get back to the ship,” Poe said, catching my forearm in his hand in hopes I wouldn’t slip out of his grasp. “You’re not in charge of me, Poe,” I bit back at him a little harsher than called for as I pulled my arm out of his grip and started off in Rey’s direction, “You two go and get Chewie.” Poe frustratedly sighed, “Look, I’m just trying to help you.” “Yeah, well,” I turned and locked eyes with him, “Don’t.” Without waiting see his reaction and before I had the sense to apologize for my hurtful words, I turned away and stumbled after Rey. Eventually I caught up to her and the two of us jogged through the Destroyer. I trusted that she knew where she was going, unlike my distrust of the nightmare’s physical effects on me. It had never happened before and the worry I felt was more than justified.

Almost as soon as I regained the ability to run and feel like my legs weren’t going to fail me, the air I breathed was sucked out of my lungs and I let out a stifled cry. Someone nearby had gotten injured. “Was it one of them?” Rey asked, concern overwhelming her tone. “It must’ve been,” I replied, bracing my hands against my knees and inhaling deeply, “But they’re okay. C’mon, we gotta go.” “They’re getting worse,” she said, broaching the topic I wanted so desperately to avoid, “Your attacks.”

“We’re not talking about this right now,” I snapped, my patience slipping away quicker than I could control, “I’m fine, now let’s go.”

We made the rest of the journey in silence, if my head wasn’t in such a fog I would have felt sorry for how I’d reacted to the care Rey and Poe had tried to show me. My logic felt buried beneath my fear, my guilt over a crime I hadn’t actually committed clouding my mind. It had been so vivid, Chewie laid out on the ground with a lightsaber hole burning through his sternum. My reasoning for leaving Finn and Poe to rescue the Wookiee had been twofold, not only would Rey need my help if she’d sensed something, but I didn’t want to go near Chewie at the moment.

Rey and I stepped through a door to a pure white room, a stark contrast to the dark color scheme of the rest of the ship. Descending the steps, I scanned the room for Chewie’s belongings but found something I’d never expected to lay eyes on. Rey saw it too, both of us taking slow and curious steps towards it.

The charred remnants of Darth Vader’s helmet.

I could feel the darkness, the pain associated with the armor and was lost as to how it could possibly have survived. How could it have ended up here? Anakin’s body, as my mother had told me once, had been burned on Endor at the end of the war by Luke. It was impossible, but our lives were made up of impossible so perhaps it wasn’t so imperceivable.

Turning away from the helmet, Rey and I spotted Chewie’s bandoleer, his bowcaster and the dagger. Rey grabbed the dagger while I took the other items and slung them over my shoulder, my friend stared down at the dagger and it didn’t take Jedi skills to sense her confusion, her fear. “What is it?” I asked quietly, not wanting to startle her out of whatever daze she was in. Regardless of my efforts, she jumped with a gasp and whipped around to face the empty expanse of the room. “Rey?”

Her brown eyes were locked onto something that wasn’t there, at least not to me. “You’re hard to get rid of…” she said, her voice low.

“Excuse me?” I furrowed my brow, confused as she turned back to the task at hand of gathering Chewie’s objects, “What-“

She stayed silent except for the sound of her lightsaber activating, she faced the room once again with anger painted across her features. “You’re lying…” she seethed.

It didn’t take me long to figure out what was transpiring before me, it was the force bond Rey had told me so much about. We had researched it, pouring over the Jedi texts for any possible answer as to why her and Ren were seemingly tied to one another. We’d been unsuccessful so far and Rey had been forced to experience unexpected connections with him. It was surreal to watch it take place, some conversation taking place in a realm I couldn’t enter with the person I’d been trying to reach for months.

“I don’t want this,” Rey said through her tears before letting out a cry and wielding the saber in a battle with the air. She froze as if her weapon had hit something, possibly Ren’s blade. I wanted nothing more than to jump into the fight and aid her as she broke away from her opponent. “Stop talking,” she demanded before continuing the fight. My hands were metaphorically tied behind my back and all I could do was stand there and wait for the moment to end.

My gut twisted as I got the distinct feeling that something was wrong on the other side of the ship, Finn and Poe were in danger. I couldn’t be in both places at once helping everybody and that killed me. If Rey and Ren’s connection didn’t break soon, I’d have to make the call to run like hell through the ship and find the others.

“Rey, we need to go,” I called, loud enough to hopefully break through her concentration.

“No!” she yelled, once again not directed at me. She expertly swung her lightsaber around, accidentally driving it into the pedestal and shattering the stand that displayed Vader’s helmet. Unfortunately, the fight still didn’t come to its end and Rey and the metaphysical Ren continued their assault on one another until eventually, Rey stumbled backwards signaling that the connection had been broken.

I came to her side, “What did he say?”

“He’s coming,” Rey answered, not quite present as she absorbed whatever he had told her.

“Shit,” I breathed, it wouldn’t take him long to get from Kijimi to the ship, “We need to go.”

Carrying Chewie’s things, we retraced our steps back to the ship as fast as we could. Suddenly faced with the reality of being in Ren’s presence, I wasn’t sure how I felt. All I knew for certain was we needed to find Poe and Finn immediately and leave before I discovered my true feelings. We made it back to the hanger and found the droids surrounded by troopers interrogating them. I aimed Chewie’s bowcaster at them and took out two while Rey disposed of the rest with her own blaster.

“Oh dear, my first laser battle,” 3PO commented, astonished. Had we not been in such a rush, I made have spared a second to laugh.

“Where are the others?” Rey urgently asked.

“They haven’t come back,” he answered.

“You two stay here,” I pointed towards the spacecraft as I began to step away from them, “I’m gonna go find them.” It was wasted effort, the familiar sound of Ren’s TIE Interceptor came roaring into the hanger. I froze in my spot the short distance away from Rey and the droids, knowing that where I needed to be had been decided for me.

“Find them,” Rey said to 3PO.

He scurried over to me and I placed the bowcaster and Chewie’s bandoleer in the his care, sending him on his way to retrieve Finn and Poe with D-O and Bee at his feet. I turned my attention to the figure emerging from the Interceptor, Rey stood directly across from him while I split the difference between them. My better judgement told me not to extend my lightsaber, that it wasn’t going to be that kind of fight. I needed to wait for the right moment. Even as the battalion of stormtroopers descended into the hanger, I kept my weapon holstered. I was apprehended by two of them, the long-standing fight for my capture finally over. As they pulled me back and handcuffed my wrists, I held eye contact with Ren, or at least where his eyes lay underneath his helmet. This was the closest we’d been the one another since our fight on Crait. The sick familiarity of him was anything but comforting, and yet there was a part of me that needed to hear him speak. He’d gone dark on me for too long and I needed to know what was going on in his head.

He shifted his focus to Rey, the two of them circling one another in some sort of silent showdown. Finally, they stopped, Rey closest to the edge of the hanger where with one miscalculated step, she could meet an unfortunate end. “Why did the Emperor come for me?” she asked, succeeding in confusing me, “Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.” “Because he saw what you would become,” Ren answered, “You don’t just have power. You have his power. You’re his granddaughter. You are a Palpatine.”

It seemed like to world stopped for a minute, everything we were fighting for and against was swept away with the wind like stray grains of sand on Tatooine. Shock wasn’t a strong enough word to describe what I was feeling, my chest constricting and my mind spinning. It couldn’t be true.

“My mother was the daughter of Vader,” Ren began.

I couldn’t stand to listen to him soil the legacy of the woman I loved most in the galaxy, “You don’t breathe a word about-“ My rage was slayed as soon as it had been born as a nearby Stormtrooper drove the butt of his blaster into my abdomen, causing me to cough and choke as oxygen was forcefully knocked from my body. I groaned at the spreading pain, clenching my eyes shut while trying to still listen to the conversation happening in front of me.

“Your father was the son of the Emperor,” Ren continued his speech, “What Palpatine doesn’t know is we’re a dyad in the Force, Rey. Two that are one. We’ll kill him together and take the throne.”

“Rey,” I breathed, fighting through the throbbing pain in my abdomen, “He’s lying, don’t listen to him.” Ren blindly reached an open hand behind him and closed off my airways, choking me from afar and effectively shutting me up. “You know what you need to do,” he said, turning back to Rey and ignoring the sounds of struggle I was making to construct any sort of breath I could.

Words couldn’t be formed but I mentally urged Rey, begged her not to listen to the utter shit Ren was feeding her. As my vision began to grow grainy, I heard the faint sounds of the Falcon, my beloved ship, and was convinced that death was calling me. But as I opened my bloodshot eyes and witnessed her make a grand arrival, I felt new life surge through me. The pilot, undoubtably Poe, backed up to the edge of the hanger and hit the thrusters, sending a wave of energy into the room that caused each Stormtrooper to slide across the floor. Ren dropped his hold on me and I took my first wheezy breath just as the two troopers holding me in position lost their grip on my body. I moved against the currents until I was parallel with Rey, Finn was standing on the Falcon’s ramp ready to rescue us. Rey was the first to jump, sending Ren one last look that I couldn’t understand before she leapt into the air and Finn pulled her in.

I turned to the Supreme Leader, my hands cuffed in front of me, and my will as strong as ever. He’d invaded my mind countless times since he’d reestablished our connection through the Force, for once we were going do things on my terms. “I want you to look in my head and tell me what you see,” I shouted over the noise of the ship, he was a little too eager to accept the invitation. Once he was in, I filled my brain with every image I had of my grandfather, stating with each and every thought that I was a Kenobi. I was now an even bigger threat to him and his regime. When I reopened my eyes, I took satisfaction in the surprise painted across his pale face. For once, Kylo Ren was speechless. I gave a breathless smirk before turning around and jumping off the edge of the platform, Rey assisted in pulling me in by way of the Force while Finn caught me. The three of us ran up the ramp and into the heart of the ship.

“Rey, don’t-“ I began, trying to preemptively pull my friend out of the blame she was inevitably going to place on herself because of her recently discovered lineage. It was of no use, she stormed off away from Finn and I as quick as she could to process the news privately. Finn was confused and I didn’t have the time or the right to explain the situation to him. “Bee, help get me out of these,” I called, the little droid speedily rolling down the hall at my command and following me to the cockpit. When I arrived, I found Poe and Chewie sending us to lightspeed. I should have wanted to throw my arms around the Wookiee, had I been able to, but after my nightmarish attack wherein I had been responsible for his gruesome death, I felt the need to keep my distance. I should have wanted to run to Poe, to take comfort in his embrace as I recounted what had happened while we were separated. All I felt when I looked at him currently was frustration.

“Are you okay?” I asked, even my anger couldn’t override my concern for his wellbeing.

“Fine,” he replied coldly, not bothering to look my way as he finished up with the controls of the Falcon, “You?” He was lying. I could see crimson red on his arm staining his cream colored shirt. He was the one I’d sensed got hurt. I wanted to help him in any way I could but I suspected he was being refusing my help in retaliation for me refusing his. I swallowed, ignored the pain from my already bruising abdomen and sat down to let Bee work on removing my cuffs, “Fine.” Oh, how badly I wanted to tell him that things were so very far from fine.

----

A/N: If you thought this was bad, just wait for the next chapter...(sorry not sorry 🙈) Let men now if you'd like to be tagged and as always, thanks for reading!!

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#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x solo!reader #poe dameron imagine #star wars imagine

[gamergirl929]

Taylor, I'm Your Biggest Fan (Alex Morgan x Reader)

Anonymous Request: Alex Morgan x Reader where reader is a huge fan of Taylor Swift so Alex invited her to perform at reader’s birthday party as a surprise. Bonus where reader freaks the f out when Alex introduce her to TS

Alex bites her lip to stifle a grin as she watches you dance in the bathroom, your air ponds blasting in your ears, no doubt listening to Taylor Swift.  

You dance unbeknownst to the fact that your girlfriend is watching you until you spot her out of the corner of your eye and nearly jump into the bathtub.  

“Jesus.” You pant, your hand on your chest and Alex giggles.  

“Don’t mind me, continue.” She winks and you roll your eyes, running some water and flicking it at the forward.  

“Hey!” She giggles, rushing into the bathroom and wrapping her arms around you from behind, pulling you back against her chest, your arms pinned to your sides.  

“This isn’t fair! I’m defenseless.” You pout, as Alex kisses your cheeks and neck playfully.  

“I can totally stop.” She rests her chin on your shoulder and you shake your head.  

“I mean, you’re the one in charge.” You shrug and Alex grins, nuzzling into your neck.  

“You know how much I like being in charge.”  

You snort.  

“Ohh, I know.”

A sudden knock sounds at your front door and Alex sighs.  

“We’ll continue this later.”  

“Can’t wait.” You grin, jumping when Alex gives you a playful slap on the ass.  

“Hey!”  

Alex bites her tongue between her teeth, sending a wink your way before taking her leave.  

The second she gets to the door, it swings open on its own, revealing Ashlyn, Ali and Emily, the three women beaming.  

“Can Y/N come out and play?” Emily grins, earning a flick on the ear from someone behind Ashlyn, that someone being Kelley.  

“Let us in Morgan, we’ve got planning to do...” She says as she jumps up, looking over Ashlyn’s shoulder.  

“SHH!” Alex shakes her head, waving her hands. “She can’t know you’re here! She’s in the bathroom!”  

“Who’s at the door?” You call from the bathroom, everyone scrambling to hide Kelley, who, Emily decides, to shove in a bush outside of your front door.  

“It’s just the usual suspects.” Alex yells and you shake your head, running your hands down your chest to straighten your shirt.  

“You bitch.” Kelley growls as she climbs out of the bush, in favor of sliding into the house and running into the kitchen, ducking behind the island in the center of the floor.

You walk into the living room, making your way straight to the kitchenette.  

“You here to steal our food again?” You ask as you round the island, unaware that Kelley has crawled around to the other side, looking pleadingly at Alex and the others.

“Depends on what you’ve got.” Emily grins as she moves towards the fridge, the two of you surfing its contents, giving Kelley enough time to make a beeline for the closet, basically throwing herself inside with a crash.  

“SHIT.” Ashlyn rubs her elbow, feigning injury, Ali coming over to inspect her uninjured joint.  

“I have some errands to run.” You huff. “Everyone loves bills.”  

You make your way towards Alex with a smile, gently gripping her hips as you pull her into a kiss.  

“I’ll be back later.” You grin, Alex leaning in to press another sweet kiss to your lips.  

“So, you’re leaving me alone with these hooligans?” She teases and you shrug.  

“Throw a hot dog or something outside and they’ll all go running.” You snicker, earning a flick in the ear from Ashlyn.  

“Not Ali and I, I mean, it’s obvious we don’t like hotdogs, we’re married.”  

You hear someone bark out a laugh, someone who sounds like they aren’t in the room, but when you turn around you realize it was Emily, the woman ducked down behind the island.  

“You’re a weirdo Sonny.” You shake your head, pressing another kiss to Alex’s lips.  

“See you later?”  

“Of course.” She beams, watching as you grab your keys and head out the door, the woman sighing as she watches you pull out of the drive and head down the street.  

“YOU HAD TO FUCKING LAUGH AT ASHLYN’S JOKE!?” Emily yells as Kelley crawls out of the closet.  

“I couldn’t help it! It was funny!”  

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose.  

“Why in the hell did I pick you guys to help me plan Y/N’s surprise birthday party?” She asks herself and Ali grins.  

“They’re just here for comic relief, let’s get started.” She claps giddily, Emily and Kelley scoffing.  

“Comic relief my ass.”

                                                            ***

“There’s NO WAY you got her...” Emily snorts, shaking her head, staring at Alex, who simply smirks.  

“Oh, I got her, and she’s coming.” She grins and Emily gasps, a hand on her chest.  

“Would you be my girlfriend too?” She asks, earning a flick on the ear.  

“No, stop it.” Kelley grumbles, rolling her eyes.  

“So, everyone is crashing at our house and we’ll all head to the venue early to get it all set up?” Ali grins and Alex nods.  

“Perfect! This is gonna rock bitchhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Ashlyn starts to dance in her seat, of course, being joined by Kelley and Emily.  

Alex’s phone suddenly rings and she grins, immediately answering when she realizes it’s you.  

“Hey hot stuff.”  

Alex rolls her eyes, shaking her head, giggling.  

“Hi to you too.”  

“Are the hooligans still there?” You ask, Alex’s eyes darting around the room as she nods.  

“Yeah, they’re still here.”  

“HI Y/N!” Emily yells and you snort.  

“I was wondering if you wanted me to pick up some pizza.”  

Alex hums, covering the end of the receiver with her hand.  

“Pizza?”  

Everyone nods, though Kelley’s bottom lip juts out in a pout.  

“What about me?” She pouts and Alex smiles.  

“We may have an extra... Someone...”  

“Something tells me I know who...” You chuckle and Alex’s eyes narrow.  

“How would you know who?” Alex scoffs, everyone’s brows furrowed.  

“I know Kelley’s laugh you know.”

Alex’s blue orbs widen as she stares at Kelley, the defender cringing.  

“If you didn’t laugh at Ashlyn’s joke, we could’ve surprised her when she got back.” Alex pouts and you chuckle.  

“Well now she gets to eat pizza with us, the usual?” You ask, the forward smiling softly.  

“The usual.”  

“GET BEER.” Kelley yells and you shake your head.  

“I’ll be back soon, don’t kill her while I’m gone.”  

Alex sends the defender a glare.  

“I won’t... I love you Y/N.”  

“I love you too Al.”  

                                                            ***

“MY SAVIOR.” Kelley beams excitedly when she sees you’d gotten her favorite beer.  

“Only the best for our Worm.”

“You spoil me.” She squeaks.  

You make your way towards Alex, wrapping an arm around her as you press a kiss to her temple, leaning against her.  

“Looks like you survived the hooligans.” You grin, Alex rolling her eyes as she leans heavily against you.  

“Barely.”  

Kelley pops the tab open with a click, sighing as she takes a deep breath.  

“My favorite sound.” She hums as she takes a swig from the can, grinning.  

You glance at Alex, shaking your head.  

“You’re an enabler.” Alex whispers, earning a loud snort.  

“I’ll be sure to reveal that in our next couples therapy session.” You snicker, Alex slapping you, hard on your ass.  

“Ew, don’t cop a feel in front of us.” Emily groans, the woman groaning louder when you give Alex the same treatment, smacking her on the butt, the woman squeaking.  

“No.” Kelley’s eyes narrow, a smirk stretching across her face.  

“Put down your beer and give me a hug asshole.” You open your arms, the woman reluctantly placing her beer on the counter before diving on you.  

You give the woman a tight squeeze, the woman groaning loudly, squeezing you as equally hard.  

“What are you doing here?” You ask, the defender’s eyes widening slightly when she realizes they hadn’t come up with a cover story for her recent arrival.  

“Umm... Was just in the neighborhood.”

Your brows arch in question.  

“Last time I checked; Utah isn’t in Florida’s neighborhood.”

Kelley gasps dramatically.  

“Are you insinuating, that Utah is the SLUMS!?”  

Your eyes widen.  

“No! No, I wasn’t!”  

Kelley pulls away from you with a pout, though her plan was working entirely in her favor.  

“I’ll just go back to the slums of Utah...”  

Alex rolls her eyes, she Ashlyn, Ali and Emily watching as you try to reason with Kelley, the woman feigning sadness.  

Everything was going to plan, well, somewhat seeing as you now knew Kelley was there, but if everything else worked out as planned, your surprise birthday party would go off without a hitch.  

                                                            ***

Alex rubs her hands together eagerly.  

Everything had gone to plan, the entirety of the USWNT here in Florida, setting up your surprise party for the evening.  

While they were getting that ready, the two of you heading towards one of the fanciest restaurants in town, something Alex had planned even before she’d set the surprise party into motion.  

Alex lets out a string of giggles when you stop at a red light, turning towards her, singing Love Story, to the woman.  

The song, OF COURSE, was by the one and only Taylor Swift.

The car behind you blares their horn and you growl, the light JUST turning green a hot second ago.  

“Yeah, yeah! Blow it out your ass!”

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.  

“What am I going to do with you?” She giggles and you shrug, reaching for and taking her hand.  

“Love me? Cherish me?” You snicker, the woman rolling her eyes.  

“Yeah, I think I can do that.”  

You bring Alex’s hand to your lips, kissing the back of it with a grin.  

“I love you Al.” You whisper, the woman’s cheeks flushing as she beams.

“I love you too Y/N.”  

The car behind you AGAIN beeps and you snarl, glaring in your rearview mirror. 

“I’m about to go all Look What You Made Me Do on your ass.” You grumble angrily, Alex shaking her head.  

“Do you have to incorporate Taylor Swift into EVERYTHING you do?”  

You shrug, grinning cockily.  

“Are you jealous?” You tease, the forward rolling her eyes as she leans across the console, pressing a kiss to your cheek.  

“Nope. Taylor Swift has never seen you naked, I have.”  

You snort.  

“Alright, you’ve got me there.”  

You smirk.  

“If you play your cards right, you might see it again tonight.” You send her a wink, the woman rolling her eyes.  

“Shouldn’t YOU be the one playing those cards?”  

You snort.  

“But it’s my birthday Allllllllllll.” You whine the woman giggling as she intertwines your fingers, giving your hand a squeeze.  

“We’ll see.”  

                                                            ***

The smile that stretches across your face is filled with nothing but the purest form of love for the woman across from you, the woman who’s currently grinning as she fumbles over whatever Italian food she’d ordered, the waitress giggling as she writes it down.  

Alex turns to you, eyes widening when she sees you staring, the love sick look on your face making her cheeks flush.  

“What?” She asks with a chuckle and you grin.  

“I love you.”  

Alex beams, the woman taking your hand, fingers intertwining as she presses a kiss to the back of your hand.  

“I love you too.”  

Your fingers play with Alex’s, the woman’s skin delicate and soft, a complete contrast to the woman’s attitude.  

You hold your palm against hers, the woman’s hand just a bit smaller than your own, the woman giggling as she again intertwines your fingers.  

“Happy Birthday Y/N.” She whispers and you smile, leaning across the table to press a kiss to her lips.  

“Thanks Al.”

You bite your bottom lip to stave off your laughter.  

“You still can’t read Italian for shit.” You jest, the forward’s bottom lip jutting out in a pout.  

“Shut up.”  

                                                            ***

“Turn here.” Alex points down the street and your brows furrow.  

“Yeah, this isn’t how we get home.”  

Alex rolls her eyes.  

“Of course, it isn’t, I have something to show you, now park here.”  

Your eyes narrow as you turn to look at her.  

“If this is some role play thing- OW!”  You cry out as Alex punches you in the arm.  

“It’s not, shut up.”  

You bottom lip juts out, your best puppy dog eyes on display as you look at your girlfriend.  

Alex leans across the console, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before she slides out of the car.  

“Follow me.”  

You chuckle as you too slide out of the car, slamming the door shut.  

“So bossy.”  

You hold your arm out to Alex, the woman gripping your bicep.  

“Lead the way.”  

Alex leans heavily against you, a grin stretching across your face as you whisper.  

“This is nice.” You kiss Alex’s cheek, the woman beaming.  

“It is. Anytime I spend with you is.”  

Your cheeks flush.  

“Stopppppppp.” You whine, the forward giggling.  

“No, you’re so cute when you blush.”  

You throw your head back with a lengthy groan, the forward giggling even harder as you pout.  

Luckily for her, she’d kept you distracted long enough to get you to the bar where your surprise was waiting.  

“We’re here.”  

You cock your head to the side, turning to look into what looks to you, like an empty bar.  

“Are you finally reenacting that scene from Coyote Ugly that I’ve been asking for?” You laugh, the woman pulling the door open and shoving you inside.  

“What’s-

“SURPRISE!!!!!”  

You nearly jump out of your skin when the lights flip on, revealing the entire USWNT, a number of them, mostly the kids, with noisemakers in their mouths, loudly honking.  

Unsurprisingly, Kelley, is standing on the bar, holding two beers, a number of your teammates on the bar as well.  

You shake your head, turning to Alex, the woman’s grin massive.  

“You planned this?”

She shrugs.  

“Maybe...”  

Alex squeals as you lift her into the air, spinning her around.  

“I love you so much.” You whisper, the woman grinning as she presses a kiss to your lips.  

“I love you too, but the night isn’t over yet.” She winks.  

The second you put Alex down someone jumps on your back, that someone being none other than Kelley O’Hara.  

“LET’S PARTY!”  

                                                            ***

“I have something else for you.” Alex pulls you away from Tobin and Christen, the two grinning, knowing full well what Alex was about to show you.  

“There’s more? You spoil me.” You wink, Alex shaking her head as she kisses your cheek.  

“Well, if you thought I was spoiling you before, you’ll DEFINITELY think so after this.”

Your brows furrow, the sound of a microphone being turned on alerting you to the fact that someone is on the bar’s makeshift stage.  

The curtain’s part and your heart stops, a familiar tune you know ALL too well starting to play.  

You can feel Alex’s eyes on you as you stare in disbelief as none other than Taylor Swift approaches the stage’s microphone.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!” The woman beams as she starts to sing, Love Story sounding loudly throughout the bar.  

You turn to Alex with wide, teary eyes.  

“You got me Taylor Swift?” You ask, your bottom lip trembling and she grins, her arms slipping around your neck as your lips meet.  

“I got you Taylor Swift, now get out here and dance with me.”  

Alex pulls you to the dance floor, the two of you swaying back and forth, Alex’s arms slipping beneath yours, her hands splayed across your back.  

Your hands settle on her waist, your forehead resting against yours as Taylor sings.  

“Alex...?” You whisper, the woman’s blue orbs locking with your Y/E/C ones.  

“Yeah?”  

“I love you. I love you so much” You brush your nose against hers and she smiles softly.  

“I love you too.”  

The two of you are entirely lost in your own little world, just being together, your eyes shut as you rest your foreheads together.  

Eventually, the song ends, though the two of you don’t part, at least until you remember WHO had been singing.  

Your eyes widen as you turn towards the stage, eyes further widening when you realize THE Taylor Swift is making her way towards you and Alex.  

Alex leaves you, wrapping her arms around Taylor, giving the singer a tight squeeze.  

“You’re hugging Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is hugging you.” You mumble dumbly. “Does that mean I can hug Taylor Swift?”

Alex giggles as she and Taylor pull apart, the women snorting when they see you literal shaking in excitement, a massive grin on your face.  

“So, Taylor, this is Y/N, she’s a big fan.” Alex laughs, your eyes still locked on Taylor.  

She giggles.

“I-I-I'm Y/N.” You smile, the blonde grinning.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N I’m Taylor.”  

You let out a squeal, wrapping your arms around her, the woman chuckling as she hugs you back.  

“Holy shit I’m hugging Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is hugging me.”

The two of you part, your eyes wide when you again see and realize that you’d just hugged Taylor Swift.  

“Oh my god, Alex, it’s Taylor Swift.” You squeal, the forward shaking her head.  

“I know, I brought her here.”  

Alex grunts when you tackle her, pulling her into a tight hug as you pepper her face with kisses.  

“I love you so so much.” You say in between kisses, the woman giggling as she tries, and fails, to dodge your lips.  

“I love you too.”  

You pull back, simply to look in Alex’s blue orbs before you lean back in, pressing the gentlest of kisses to her lips, the woman melting into it.  

The two of you are so caught up in kissing, that you don’t realize Taylor is back on the stage, the music again starting up, a love song that the two of you can dance to.  

You sway back and forth, a grin stretching across your face as you whisper in her ear.  

“Thank you for giving me the best birthday present of all.”

Alex giggles.  

“I had to pull a few strings to get her here...” Alex shrugs, brows knitting in confusion when you pull back.  

You shake your head, your lips splitting into a grin that takes up nearly half of your face.  

“No present could EVER compare to the greatest gift the world has ever given me...” You lean towards her, your forehead resting against hers.  

“And that’s you.”  

Alex’s eyes go glassy with tears, the woman closing the gap between the two of you, the kiss tender, loving, a kiss that leaves your lungs devoid of air.  

The two of you pull apart, the two of you wear love sick smiles.  

“I love you Alex.” You whisper, the woman beaming.  

“I love you too, Happy Birthday Y/N.”

The two of you are abruptly pulled apart by someone someone, that someone being Emily, diving on your back, the woman OBVIOUSLY drunk.  

“YOU’RE TOO SOBER!” She slurs, your eyes wide as you stare, horrified at Alex, the woman giggling as you’re dragged to the bar by the team’s children, Megan and Ashlyn doing shots together.  

“Oh no.” You mumble, Lindsey grinning, along with the other kids.  

“Oh, YES.”  

Alex makes her way over to Christen and Tobin, the two watching as Megan passes you a shot.  

Christen giggles.  

“You know you’ll be carrying her home after this right?” Tobin asks, Alex snorting in answer.  

“Oh, I know, it’s her birthday so, so she gets away with it.”  

Alex shakes her head, watching as you down three shots, one right after the other, grimacing as Kelley passes you another.  

“I’ll be sure to remind you of that tomorrow.” Tobin gives her a nudge, earning a mock glare from her teammate.  

“Please do.”  

                                                           ***

“WAIT.” You screech hours later, nearly every one of your teammates drunkenly jumping to their feet.  

You turn to the stage, gasping.  

“IS THAT TAYLOR SWIFT!? TAYLOR, I FUCKING LOVE YOU.”  

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose as you rush towards the stage, climbing on it and wrapping your arms around the singer, whose singing is abruptly cut off.

“Oh, Christ.” She mumbles as she moves to peel you off of Taylor.  

“Remember Al, she gets to get away with ittttt!” Tobin calls out and Alex groans.  

“Shut uppppp Tobin!”  

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TAYLOR!”  

“Y/N LET HER GO!”  

At the end of the day, Alex had to LITERALLY carry you to bed, but you had a great time that night, and that’s all that mattered to her.  

Alex eventually slips into bed beside you, you who’s dressed, messily in your PJs.  

“I love you Y/N.” She whispers and you hum, wiggling towards her and snuggling into her side.  

“I love you too Al. Thank youuu for the best birthday ever.”  

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #alex morgan x reader #alex morgan imagine

[navalcriminalimagines]

Backup

Request by @wow-life-love4 ❤️ : So I was hoping to request a Barba x reader; Where the reader sees Barbra back when she goes visits Carisi and she has those feeling again what she had years ago when he left!And he finally accepts the fact that she was the one as well!!!!!(Throw some angst in there I’m dying for it with fluffy ending)

Words: 3,530

Tags: @crying-river

Sorry for the typos. Enjoy. ❤️

Based on 22x04 Sightless in a Savage Land. (Of course)

(Gif isn’t mine)

*Carisi’s office*

Since Sonny got his new office, you found a comfy place on the floor, against his furniture. That’s where you were even though your former partner wasn’t there yet. There was this new case that came up in the night before, he had a few meetings while you were working on your laptop, coffee right next you and Sonny’s on his desk.

He came in a few minutes later, smiled when he saw you. He threw the box he was holding on his cabinet and sat on his desk chair. When he spotted his coffee, his smile grew wider. “You’re the best,” he said, taking a big sip.

“I know,” you smiled. “How’s the case going?”

“I’m going for murder 2, and we’ll see,” he shrugged.

One thing you love about your friendship with Sonny Carisi is that silence is comfortable. There is no awkward silence. While he worked on his paperwork, you were on your laptop. Shopping online, actually. You rescued a car a year ago and the little ball of fur has been scratching on your couch ever since. It was completely destroyed now and you needed a new one.

“Dom,” you called your best friend. “What do you think about this one?” you turned your laptop so Sonny could see it. It was a nice three places blue couch, Scandinavian style.

Sonny wheeled closer to you and bent down to look at it. “I won’t fit in that one,” he said. He’s been crashing a lot at your place for the past two years.

“Stupid long legs,” you teased him. “Although, in 4 years, you’ll be sleeping in my bed, so—“ you turned the screen back at you and kept scrolling.

Sonny laughed at that. “Only if neither of us is married,” he reminded you.

“Doesn’t look good, Dominick. I’m telling you,” you exclaimed. “You seriously need to prepare yourself to spend the rest of your life with me,”

“Wouldn’t have agreed if I wasn’t. Although, that’s not the story I wanna tell our kids,” still laying in his chair, Sonny was facing you, his legs spread as always.

“Why not?” You exclaimed. “It’s cute! Two best friends that made a deal to get together to avoid forever loneliness!” You paused and realized what he said. “Wait—kidS?” you asked, making sure the ‘s’ was heard.

“At least, four, Y/N. You know I want a big family,” Sonny told. This conversation seemed like completely normal between although it wasn’t.

“Then pry I’ll give birth to quadruplets. Cause I’m not getting pregnant four times,”

“Don’t underestimate the Carisi’s power,”

You and Sonny stopped talking for a moment, just staring at each other, until you both started to laugh. “This conversation is nonsense,” you said.

“I agree,” you heard from the doorway. You and Sonny turned like one man, to look at the man standing there. You didn’t have to look at him though. You recognized his voice from the first sound.

“Barba,” Sonny was the first to greet him. He stood up and offered his hand. Both men shook hands and Rafael’s eyes stopped on you, still sitting on the floor. You looked up to him and tried to keep a poker face. But god, he looked more handsome as ever. The beard. You asked him multiple times to keep the beard, when you and Rafael were seeing each other.

“Detective,” he greeted you.

“Counselor,” you quickly said and got your attention back on your laptop. You can’t let him see you still have feelings. And that you’re mad. Hurt, even. Rafael never made a promise to you, you two weren’t actually dating per say, but you wished he gave you a goodbye. Not just—leaving.

“What can I help you with?” Sonny rescued you.

“Mickey Davis. Can we talk about it?” He said.

You felt both men’s gaze on you and looked up, “Oh you want me gone?” You said and Sonny nodded. You stood up, put your laptop in your bag, and walked to the door. “Chinese. My place?” You asked Sonny, completely avoiding Rafael. Your best friend agreed and you would be lying if you said you didn’t hope it would make Rafael jealous.

*****

Sonny showed up at your apartment around 8. He was welcomed by Mania’s purrs, he crouched down and pet your ginger cat for a moment. You were sitting in your - destroyed - couch, with a glass a white wine. Carisi knew that seeing Barba after all those years messed with your head.

“How many?” He simply asked.

“Not enough!” You said, but you were obviously tipsy already.

He’d been there many times. He knew that trying to fight to make you stop drinking was useless. So instead, he grabbed a glass and joined you on the couch. Mania jumped on your lap. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m just going to say the same things I’ve been telling you for the past three years,” you said, focusing on your cat.

“But now, he’s back. And I don’t think he liked what he heard,”

You looked at Sonny, puzzled, waiting for him to continue. “He was—cold. Unfriendly. And he left saying ‘Enjoy the chinese—and the company’”

“It doesn’t mean anything, Dom. Three years went by. He probably has someone,” you were on the urge of crying but you were fighting yourself. You cried enough for Rafael.

“His lost,” Sonny put his arms around your shoulders and kissed your temple. He gave a pat to Mania, and extended his legs on the coffee table. You rested your head on his shoulder and a few tears escaped.

“Why am I not over him? Why does it still hurt?” You asked. Sonny hummed in response and you continued. “I wish we were married already. I would be committed to you, and he wouldn’t live rent free in my head,”

Sonny giggled, “You sure ‘bout that?” He asked. “Know that cheating is a deal breaker for me. Thinking of someone else while you’re with me is cheating, somehow. So technically, you’re already cheating on me,”

“I’d make up to you, but we’re not there yet. You refused to seal the deal,”

It took Sonny a few seconds to understand what you meant. “And think about Barba while I’m making love to you? Noooo, thank you,”

You grabbed the wine bottle and poured yourself another glass. Mania wasn’t pleased about you moving around so he jumped onto Sonny’s lap instead. “I need a good dick,” you sighed, laying back on the couch.

Sonny wasn’t expecting you to say that. Or at least, not like that. He was taking a sip and choked on wine. He coughed a few times, which made you laugh. “Need me to remind you what happened last year?”

“Noooo, thank you,” you mimicked him. The last year was a mess. You got drunk at Forlini’s and left with a stranger. It was okay at first, the man was good looking and very cautious with you. The sex wasn’t great. He came really fast, you didn’t have time to get pleasure. When you tried to leave, he offered you to stay with puppy eyes, and you caved. The next morning, you tried to sneak out but he heard you and he didn’t want to let you go. So you texted Sonny, asking him to call you and pretend an emergency. Thank god he did. But a few weeks later, you met the guy again at Forlini’s. It lead to a few weeks of stalking from his behalf, until you went all cop on him.

After eating chinese, you went back to drinking as Sonny stopped. You two watched some terrible show on tv until you fell asleep on his shoulders. Used to that, he moved you to your bed and crashed on your couch, with Mania cuddling to him.

*****

You showed up many times at work with hangovers. You were used to pretend you were okay and your coworkers pretended to believe you. The morning went slow, until he showed up.

“Barba!” Fin was the first to see him. “Liv isn’t here,” he continued.

“I came to see all of you—in private?” Fin, Amanda, Kat and yourself looked to one another. “I don’t have all day, detectives.”

They stood up and followed him next to interrogation rooms. But you stayed put. “Y/N,” Rafael softly said.

“Three detectives is enough,” you said, without looking at you. If you looked at him, you’d caved. And you can’t do that. He doesn’t deserve it. Not so easily. Not just because he is his handsome self.

“I hope chinese with your future husband was good,” he answered, bitterly and joined the others, closing the doors behind him. You sarcastically laughed at that. Was it jealousy? You hoped so.

A few minutes later, Liv came in with Garland. He gently greeted you and asked where were the others. You told them without thinking further. And in a minute, Barba was in Liv’s office with her and Garland. Your coworkers went back to their desks but no one talked. “Fill me in?” You asked.

“In so many words, Barba needs our help,” Amanda told you.

“He’s defending the man that Carisi is prosecuting. That’s not fair to Sonny,” you told, anger started to show up.

“Carisi can handle it,” Fin said.

“Damn right he can. But you’re making it harder for him! Our ADA is Carisi now, not Barba! He left me—us,”

You knew it was too late. Your anger toward Rafael just surfaced and the entire team now knows something had happened. Mostly angry at yourself from letting your emotions get the best of you, you grabbed your jacket and left the squadroom.

You drove to Sonny’s office and stormed in it without knocking. He immediately saw your red eyes, and furry in them. “Barba asked the squad for help! And I think they are in!” You were pacing in the small place, making Sonny’s head spin. “They are going behind your back for him! They are helping him, knowing it will make it harder for you! He just—snapped his fingers,” you did snap your fingers, “and they are all in! I can’t believe it,” you were breathing hard, fighting your tears and your anger. Sonny stood, grabbed your shoulders and brought you to his chest. He held you tight as you cried in his chest. He could feel your body shaking. You stood there for a long moment until you calmed down. Sonny let you go and grabbed you a tissue. You dried your eyes and blown your nose. “I’m sorry, you must be tired of me. I’m a fucking mess,”

Sonny was leaning on his desk, arms crossed and legs spread. “Nah, you’re not, Y/N. You’re my best friend and you’re there for me as much,” he softly grabbed your hand and rubbed your knuckles, “Now tell what you’re really mad about,”

“Him. He comes back and tries to act as if—nothing happened. Like we were nothing. Ever,” you took a deep breath, “it just hurts me all over again,”

“Now that he’s here, maybe you should ask for the explanations you’ve been waiting for? You need closure, honey. You deserve it. And yeah, it may not be what you want to hear but at least, you’ll know and you can finally move on,”

“With you when I turn 40?” You tried to joke.

“Or that guy from last year,” he grinned.

“Shut up, Carisi,” Sonny pulled on your arm to bring you to him. As he was leaning on the desk, you were the same height. You put your arms around his shoulders, and his hands were in your back. “What would I do without you?” You whispered in his ear.

“You’d be stuck in a relationship with a weirdo, and probably pregnant by now,” you laughed at his words.

“That would terrible. I’d be so frustrated,”

“Uh, I’d help you with that,”

“Dominick Carisi Jr, isn’t that a sin? May I remind you, you refused to seal our deal,”

“Because if it went bad, I didn’t want you to ask Fin to be your backup,”

“Wouldn’t have worked anyway, he found Phoebe,”

Really, what would you do without Sonny Carisi in your life?

*****

His words didn’t leave your brain. “You need closure, you deserve it”. And maybe he’s right. You do deserve closure, even if he tells you everything you don’t want to hear. So when the trial was over, and Barba invited everyone for a drink, you joined in. You sat between Sonny and Kat, Rafael was across from you. You could feel his gaze every now and then but you tried to avoid meeting his eyes.

“Cheers,” Rafael said, holding his scotch.

“To what? Jury deliberated for 6 hours to find Davis guilty on murder 2 and we’re back to the start,” Sonny answered.

“To irony, then,” Rafael offered instead.

Everyone got interested in Rafael’s past three years. He explained that he traveled for a while, catch up with foreign family in Cuba. He mentioned meeting a woman there but when you heard the word “girlfriend”, you stood up and went to order another glass.

“Y/N!” You heard from your left. You turned to see the man that stalked you the year prior. “Good to see you,” before you could react, Kyle was hugged you. “Been a while,” he smiled.

Not enough. You thought. “Indeed,” you gently returned the smile.

“May I offer you a drink?”

“Thanks, but I’m with my friends,” you pointed towards the squad. Sonny saw the man from behind and he saw in your eyes you were in trouble. But instead of helping you, he was just—laughing. Bastard.

“Maybe later then? Or another day?”

“Kyle. Last year, I threated you to put you in jail for harassment. That threat still stands if you start again,” you looked at him, seriously.

“Actually, I want to apologize about that. I was in a very bad place and I don’t know why I acted the way I did. Can we put that in the past and start all over again?”

Listening to his excuses, you didn’t see Rafael circling around. It’s only when you smell his intoxicating smell, that you knew he was behind you. You sighed and tried to stay focus on Kyle. “Okay look, if you’re still here when my friends leave, maybe—“ you were stopped by Rafael’s arm, as he slided it around your chest.

“Leave her alone, man. You’re not up to her standards,”

“Y/N, who is that” Kyle asked.

You were so confused about what was happening - and a little tipsy - you didn’t react. “The man that has way more chance to take her home than you’ll never have,”

“Well, man, you’re too late. I already took her home,”

You felt Rafael’s fist clenching. “Kyle—I’ll see around okay?”

“I’m not sure I want to leave you with that guy, Y/N,” he answered.

“But you are,” Rafael growled. “Now and forever,”

Rafael made you spin around so you were facing him instead of that Kyle. He instantly grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you right under Kyle’s nose. He was acting like an asshole but there’s no way you could pull him away. You melted into his kiss, granting access to his tongue. You grabbed onto his shirt, pulling him as close as you could. You felt his hands traveling your back, until you were grabbing your ass. For a moment, you forgot you two were in the middle of Forlini’s. You moaned in his month and he felt his cock twitching.

You pulled away only when Amanda made herself heard as she was leaving. “Get a room, people.”

Rafael smiled. “I agree with her. Come home with me?”

“Where’s home for you?” You asked. A kiss can’t make everything go away.

“Home is you, Y/N. You’re my home,” he looked so damn sincere and it would be so easy to just let it go and hang on to those words. But you still need explanations. Apologizes, perhaps?

Again, you fought against your tears. “That’s so easy, Rafael,”

“Come with me and we can talk. Just that if you want,”

*****

During the ride, you told Rafael you preferred to go to your place; Mania was waiting. If Barba should have a pet, he thought he would adopt a dog. But since you have a cat, he can get use to it. Only if you cut its claws.

As always, Mania was waiting behind the door when you got in. He didn’t move at first, just studying Rafael. “He’s already judging me,” Rafael said.

“He only met two humans. Me and Sonny. Before that, he was beaten, famished and threw with the trash. He doesn’t trust humans,”

“That’s something we can bound on,” Rafael kept his distance with your furry child. And Mania did the same. You pet him a moment, gave him his food and joined Rafael on the couch, with a bottle of Sauternes. It was silent at first. None knew where to start.

“Is—is there something between you and Carisi?” He asked.

“Straight to the point,” you smiled in your glass. You liked the hint of jealousy in it. “For now, no. But in 4 years, maybe,”

“I’m gonna need further explanations,”

“I’m the one that needs explanations, don’t you think?” You challenged him. “Actually, I deserve them,” you’ll have to think Sonny later for that strength.

“Indeed, you do,” Rafael agreed. “It was easier that way,”

“Easier for who? For you? Cause it wasn’t easy for me, at all,”

“I was selfish and I’m sorry,” he softly grabbed your hand. “I knew that—if I came to see you, to tell you I was leaving, I would have back down. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you goodbye. All I ever wanted to see in your eyes, when you look at me, was love. And I was afraid to see—disappointment in them. Pity, hate, even. Cause there was hate whenever I looked in the mirror,” you heard tears in his voice. You knew he was just being honest with you.

“You ruined our relationship—or whatever we had— on assumptions, Rafael. I didn’t hate you before you left. I wasn’t disappointed. Only things you’d have seen were empathy and love,”

“I couldn’t take the risk, Y/N,”

“Let’s pretend I get that. Why didn’t you call, then? Text? Left a letter or a note? Hell, even an email would have made it easier,” you stood up, pacing around. Rafael has been around you enough to know that’s what you do when you’re angry and trying to calm yourself.

“I could have. I should have—I’m so sorry,” he was looking at you with pleading eyes but you were still pacing around your living room. “I never forgot about you, Y/N. I still love you,”

“Uh-huh,” you shook your head, “You can’t tell me you still love me when you never said you loved me in the first place!” You exclaimed.

“Fine,” he stood up and grabbed your shoulders to keep you still. “I love you, Y/N. Wanna know when I knew?” He paused, for what you assumed what a dramatic effect like he does in court, “When Yelina came in my office, telling my ‘crazy coworker’ slapped her. And you didn’t slap her because you were jealous. You did so because she hurt me and talked shit about me for going after Alex. When she left, I smiled so hard, I found the courage to ask you out,”

You felt your cheeks turning pink. “I didn’t know you knew,” you looked down but Rafael grabbed your chin and made you lift your head.

“From that moment, I knew you had my back. I didn’t have yours,” you saw a tear finally escaping his eye. “And if you found the strength to forgive me, I’ll always have your back. I won’t let you down. I promise,”

Seeing Rafael cried made you cry too. You swoop his tears with your thumb. “It won’t be easy, Rafael. It’s going to take time for me to—trust you again. To trust that you won’t leave again,”

“I won’t,” he grabbed your face and kissed. It was needy. Rafael wanted you to feel how much he loves you in that kiss. He wanted you to know you could trust him. Not only your tongue mixed but your tears did too. “I promise. I love you,” he rested his forehead against yours.

“I love you, too,” you kissed again, but it was more passionate. One of his arms were wrapped around your shoulders and his other hand was holding your cheek. Your left hand rested on his firm ass and your right one was in his hair.

He smiled against your mouth when he felt your hand grabbing his ass cheek. “That’s my move,”

“What can I say? I missed your ass,”

He chuckled and made you jump in his arms. Your legs wrapped around his waist and his hands were resting on your ass. “Not as much as I missed yours,” Rafael kissed you again and walked to the bedroom, closing it to Mania’s face.

#law and order svu #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #sonny carisi #rafael barba imagine #law and order: special victims unit #rafael barba x you #barba x reader #sonny carisi x reader

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 8

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 3,734

Warnings: none

A/N: If this chapter had a name it would be “me, you, and steve’. Also I know how infuriating they are, so oblivious and dumb but isn’t it the point of pining ;) Thanks for your patience!

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post.

Bucky’s cab pulled over to the curb in front of his building. He tugged on the lapels of his coat, pulling it tighter around him, and braced himself for the blast of cold air waiting for him on the other side.

He hated the cold, hated winter. It reminded him of the day he lost his arm, alone on that godforsaken mountain until Steve found him. But he could deal with the cold if it meant he’d find you on the other side of that door.

He knew you were home, you had texted him about an hour ago telling him that you had a surprise for him. It had made him smile. He’d hurried home, desperate to see you even though he’d seen you that morning.

He had it bad.

He’d been restless since the gala, unable to sleep without dreaming of you, your velvet dress in a heap on his bedroom floor, your scent lingering on his bed sheets. He would wake up bathed in sweat, on the edge of coming.

He would deal with it with an ice cold shower.

Bucky had accepted the fact that his feelings for you weren’t as innocent as they once were. He had always thought you were strong, full of life and a little awkward, but lately he’d been wanting to kiss you, touch you, feel your warmth against him.

He wanted it so badly it hurt.

He wouldn’t say he loved you. He certainly felt something for you but love was something foreign to him. Sometimes he wondered if his feelings were even real. He’d gone from living an extremely solitary life to spending every single day with you. It could have easily been a product of his loneliness and your soft spoken demeanour.

He had stopped counting the number of times he’d almost kissed you on the lips. The urge was always there, eating away at him, but he always caught himself at the last moment, his lips landing on your forehead, your cheek or your temple instead.  

“I’m home,” he shouted, closing the door behind him. He bent to untie his shoes and kicked them off while he unzipped his coat. “What’s the big surprise? Is it something we can eat?”

He hung his coat next to yours on the hook and walked down the short corridor that led to the kitchen. As he walked, he became suspicious of the silence that hung in the air. Slowly he peeked into the kitchen and found you in the company of someone he thought he’d never see again.

“Steve?”

“Not edible, sorry, Buck.”

Bucky’s face broke out into an instant smile, ear to ear and ecstatic. “Fuckin’ hell, Rogers, you look like a yeti.”

Steve barked out a laugh as he stepped forward and hugged him. He wrapped both his arms around Bucky, almost lifting him off the ground despite knowing how uncomfortable hugs made him feel. Chuckling, Bucky returned his hug with one arm; the only kind of hug he could give.

“I’m happy to see you.” Steve pulled back and held him at arm's length.

Bucky looked over Steve’s shoulder at you who were standing behind the kitchen counter, grinning at them. “Is that my surprise?” You nodded. “Ugh, I was kind of hoping for pizza honestly.”

“Asshole.”

“I’m joking, man.”

Steve returned to his seat and Bucky followed. You grabbed a mug from the cupboard and fixed Bucky a cup of coffee. He gave you a grateful smile.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with this punk on your own,” Bucky told you. “Did he give you a hard time?”

“Nah,” you said. “He was pretty sheepish. Also, I almost gave him a heart attack.”

Bucky burst out laughing as Steve’s face and neck flushed red. You told Bucky the story of how you and Steve met outside his apartment building. Bucky doubled over laughing when you made a pretty spot-on impression of Steve’s confused face. Steve rolled his eyes at your theatrics, a smile on his lips.

“In my defense, no stranger has ever screamed my name like that.”

“Oh, if the alley behind the church could talk, it’d call you a fucking liar, Steve.”

“First, shut up!” Steve jokingly pushed Bucky off his seat. “Second, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” That sobered you both up faster than a cold shower. Steve caught a furtive sideways glance between you and Bucky. “Did I say something wrong?”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” you replied with a smile. “I’m his, uh-” you trailed off and looked to Bucky for help but he was unable to speak. “I’m his roommate.”

“Oooh! Okay.”

Was that relief on Steve’s face? Bucky’s stare hardened. A muscle in his jaw jumped when Steve engaged you in a conversation. He asked you how long you’d been living with Bucky and if you liked the apartment. His tone was conversational but Bucky knew him like the back of his hand, he knew Steve was flirting with you.

“Are you staying for dinner?” you asked Steve. Bucky’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. You picked up the laminated meal plan from on the counter. “Creamed spinach and baked eggs.”

“Sounds great,” Steve agreed.

“You don’t like spinach,” Bucky grumbled under his breath.

“I’m not twelve anymore,” Steve countered with an arched brow. It made you laugh. “Besides I haven’t eaten a homemade meal in... wow, probably years.” Steve turned to you. “I don’t know if Bucky told you but I’m a landscape photographer. I live in the wild most of the year. It’s kinda like travelling by foot on an endless backpacking trip. It’s amazing but the food is disgusting.”

“Yikes!” You grimaced in sympathy. “Well, Bucky’s an amazing chef. I keep telling him we should open a restaurant together.”

You walked over to Steve and mock-whispered in his ear. “If we ask nicely, he’ll probably make us some garlic bread.”

That made Bucky smile. His first instinct was to answer with his usual ‘I’d do anything for you, angel’ but he couldn’t say that in front of Steve so he bit his tongue. He saw the disappointment in your eyes, as if you were expecting that usual answer too.

“I should go upstairs,” you said. “I have a painting to finish. Have fun, boys.”

Steve watched you go, then he shook his head and heaved out a sigh. He waited until he was sure you were out of earshot before he turned to Bucky.

“She’s quite something, isn’t she?” he said. “So, are you two...”

“We’re friends,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded. “Is she single?”

“As far as I know.”

Bucky’s jaw was clenched hard, the tendons in his neck looked like they were about to snap. He loved Steve like a brother but, goddammit, he wanted him to leave and never return. He balled his hand into a fist, feeling a visceral urge to punch something.

Yet, Steve seemed completely oblivious to Bucky’s turmoil. After living in the wild for several years, he was having trouble picking up on social cues.

“Do you think I should ask her out? I’m a bit rusty.” He ran his hand through his long hair, tugging at the strands. “I should get a trim first, right?”

“And a fucking shower,” Bucky grumbled to himself.

Steve didn’t hear him, he was too busy glaring at his hair in the big mirror on the wall.

Bucky tried to push away that nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was becoming harder to pretend this was all innocent. Not when he had to physically restrain himself from punching his oldest friend in the teeth. Steve was allowed to ask you out, Bucky had no right to be jealous.

And yet...

“How long are you stayin’?” he asked, eyeing Steve’s backpack. It wasn’t unusual for him to take Steve in when he was between assignments, but things were different now.

“A few weeks. Is it going to be a problem?”

“Listen, if it were just me, I’d let you stay,” Bucky replied. “But I’m not alone anymore. She doesn’t know you, you’re basically a stranger, and you’re already thinking of hitting on her. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable. This is her home.”

Steve blushed. “No, of course. I understand. I would never-”

“All I’m sayin’ is, she has the final say,” Bucky cut him off. “If she lets you stay, you can take the kids’ room.”

“You sure? It’s right next to her room. I could take the room upstairs, the one above the living room.”

“No, you can’t,” Bucky sighed. “It’s her painting studio.”

Steve stared at him with a suspicious frown. “Are you sure there’s nothing between you and her?”

“Yup, she’s just a friend.”

He tried not to fidget as he forced himself to hold Steve’s gaze. He kept his head high and acted as composed as he could even though his heart was jackhammering in his chest.

“Okay,” Steve drawled out, not entirely convinced. “If you say so.”

As Bucky expected, you allowed Steve to take the guest room, the one with the bunk-bed, though Steve told you that it wouldn’t be a problem. It also meant that he would be sharing your bathroom, and while it didn’t seem to bother you, it made Bucky really uncomfortable.

That evening, he sat down with you and Steve at the dinner table. He made sure Steve was seated at one end of the table, thinking that if you didn’t have him in front of you, you’d interact less. Bucky’s plan backfired pretty quickly. Steve had so many ‘I-lived-in-the-wild-for-ages’ stories that he monopolized the discussion –and your attention.

Bucky spent most of the night lost in his own thoughts, daydreaming, and only smiled when he caught your gaze. He snapped out of his haze when he noticed that he was alone at the dinner table. You and Steve were washing the dishes, talking and laughing.

He felt a pang of envy at the sight before him; it was supposed to be him and it scared him that someone could take you away from him. Then it hit him. He wasn’t special, you were kind and sweet with everyone. It was what had attracted him to you in the first place; your kindness, your fortitude and loyalty.

He couldn’t blame Steve for falling for you, too.

“Guys, I’m going to bed,” he said, standing on the landing between the two rooms.

You turned around mid-laugh and smiled warmly at him. “Good night, Bucky.”

“Sweet dreams, angel.” It slipped out. He didn’t even realize what he’d said, but Steve did.

Steve cocked a brow at his best friend’s retreating figure before he hung his head and let out a brief chuckle.

Over the next few days, Bucky’s mood didn’t improve. He was holding back, unable to reach out to you the way he used to. Steve was always there. Always.

In the morning Steve would come back from a run, sweaty and hungry, and wearing a shirt that was two sizes too small for him. He really laid it on thick, even by his standards, but you didn’t seem to mind.

In fact, you would often go out with Steve when Bucky was working on his new book. He took you to art shows, introduced you to important people and you visited art supply stores together, which annoyed Bucky more than he thought possible.

He felt stuck in a Garfunkel and Oates song, praying for Steve to go away.

I could've wished a thousand wishes for Steve to disappear.

Worst of all, Bucky was snappy with you. Especially after he inadvertently overheard you and Natasha talking about Steve. You painted a vivid picture of Steve’s ass. Figuratively of course, though Bucky couldn’t be certain that you didn’t have hundreds of notebooks filled with drawings of Steve’s ass.

“Hey, stranger.”

He looked up when you walked into his study carrying a tray with his breakfast –coffee and two slices of toasted white bread with butter and jam. You left the tray on a pile of papers and closed the door behind you.

“I was wondering about you, since you didn’t show up for breakfast.” You stood behind him and worked your fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and let you massage his scalp, the tension slowly leaving his body. “Something’s bothering you. I can tell.”

Bucky was so relaxed that his filter was non-existent. “Yeah, Steve’s bothering me. He stole my angel.”

“He can’t steal a mythical creature.”

“You’re my angel,” he half-moaned when you applied pressure to his scalp.

“I haven’t been feeling like your angel lately,” you said, giving him another squeeze before you let go of his head. You took a seat on the armchair close to his desk. “You’re... I don’t know. You’re moody and irritated, and I don’t know how to help you. I know you don’t like surprises, and Steve showing up out of nowhere and staying here was a pretty huge surprise. It’s difficult to cope with change but I think you’re acting a little weird. I swear, Bucky, sometimes you look at Steve like you want to kill him. Is it because we spend time without you?”

Bucky straightened up in his seat and took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “Yeah, I guess. You two are having fun and I’m stuck here, alone.”

“You feel left out.”

“A bit,” he replied earnestly. “But if you like him, you should go for it. He’s a good-looking guy, he’s nice. He’s also a dumbass but that’s part of his charm.”

You laughed. “What? Why are you telling me this?”

“I heard you and Natasha,” Bucky explained, blushing. “You said, and I quote: ‘he's got an ass you can bounce quarters off of.’”

You burst out laughing. “Oh, Bucky.”

“What? I’m just sayin’ if that’s what you wanna do... I’ll give you a bunch of quarters.”

“No, thanks,” you laughed. “I’m good. I keep my quarters for something else.”

Bucky speared you with a suspicious look. “So you don’t think his ass is like a juicy peach.” He blinked. “Also a direct quote.”

“Oh, no, I stand by what I said. His ass is so-” you lifted your hands and made a squeezing motion “-tight.”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” he rushed to say. “It’s not that impressive. Anyone can do squats. I do squats.”

“Fishing for compliments?” He rolled his eyes and shook his head. You looked at him with a fond smile. “Eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He reached for a slice of bread and bit into it, focusing his attention on his laptop screen. You got to your feet and walked to the door.

“Oh, um, by the way, how much of that conversation did you hear?” you asked, leaning against the half-open door.

“Not much, I left after the juicy peach thing.”

You hummed while nodding, your eyes cast down. When you looked up at him, a glint of something mischievous shone in your eyes. “You should have stayed a little longer,” you said enigmatically, your eyes roaming shamelessly over his body.

You raised your eyebrows and closed the door behind you, leaving Bucky speechless and confused. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” he shouted, hoping you could hear him through the closed door. “Angel? Come back!”

Needless to say he didn’t write much after that.

Bucky made a conscious effort to stop being an asshat. A week later, he was in a better mood, and only glared at Steve twice –the first time when Steve put his hand on your knee and the second when he made a vaguely flirtatious remark.  

You let Steve and Bucky handle the dirty dishes, and Bucky was sure you did it on purpose. Your little smug smile said as much. Steve didn’t seem happy, he had never liked household chores and probably only did the dishes to spend time with you.

Bucky remembered Steve’s childhood bedroom; shades always down, his bed perpetually unmade, and a monster pile of clean and dirty clothes on his desk chair. He remembered Sarah’s exasperated sigh whenever she entered her son’s bedroom. It made him laugh.

Bucky had always been a neat person, something his mom always took pride in. ‘Look at my son who does his own laundry and sets the table without being asked. Look how well I raised him!’ After his accident, cleaning became an obsession, a way of controlling something that was uncontrollable.

“Did you get Sam’s text?” Steve asked, tossing the now-wet towel on the counter. “Emergency brunch tomorrow at 10.”

“Yeah, I know. Sam has a loose understanding of the word ‘emergency’. Last time he wanted to know if he could pull off a goatee. Not exactly an emergency.”

“Mhh,” Steve replied, thinking. “Are you coming?”

“Hell yeah,” Bucky chucked, “I wanna know what this new emergency is.”

Steve cast him a sideways glance while leaning his back against the kitchen counter. He mulled over something as he watched his friend clean the sink.

“So, um,” Steve started awkwardly. “I have a date tomorrow.”

Bucky’s hand faltered a bit. “Ah? With who?”

Steve looked toward your bedroom door and let out a very loud sigh. “A real-life angel, Buck.”

Bucky let go of the sponge and straightened up abruptly. He glared at Steve, hoping he’d heard him wrong. “What did you just say?”

“I have a date tomorrow night so you’ll have the place to yourself.” Steve smiled to his friend, blissfully unbothered. “I think I’ve been invading your personal space. You always look upset so I thought this would be a great idea. And I’ve been alone for so long, I need... relief you know.”

“Awesome,” Bucky replied, gritting his teeth.

“Great, I’m glad you see it that way,” Steve said, grabbing Bucky’s shoulder and squeezing gently. “See you tomorrow, Buck.”

He watched Steve walk to his bedroom and close the door behind him. Something inside him cracked, and he felt the overwhelming urge to throw something, watch it break into tiny pieces.

He took a deep breath and went in search of you instead. He found you upstairs in your studio, kneeling in front of a canvas, the handle of a pair of pliers in your mouth. It took you a few seconds to acknowledge his presence, and Bucky grinned when you let out a little shocked gasp.

“Did you have fun washing the dishes with Steve?” you teased, taking the pliers out of your mouth.

“I think we need a dishwasher.” He walked into the room and squatted down on his haunches next to you. “Whatcha doing?”

“I’m removing the staples on the stretcher bars so I can roll up the canvas and put it in a tube,” you said. “This way they’re protected and I can carry them pretty easily. I have a meeting with a gallerist tomorrow. Apparently Steve knows her well. He mentioned my name and she wants to see my work.”

“That’s amazing, angel,” Bucky exclaimed. “How can I help?”

“I’m almost done. I just need to finish this one. Can you grab that sheet of plastic on the desk? We’ll wrap it in it and then we’ll use a piece of canvas for extra protection.”

He followed your instructions and made sure not to ruin your hard work. Once the canvas was in the tube, you placed it against the wall next to two similar tubes. Then you cleaned up and put away your tools.

“I don’t know if Steve told you but-”

“Yes, I know,” Bucky cut you off. “The date. It’s great. Honestly.”

“Yeah.” You lowered your gaze and studied your shaking hands, unable to meet his eyes. “Listen, I was thinki-”

“I really need some time to myself anyway,” he talked over you. “So it’s great, y’know? We all get what we want.”

“I guess,” you replied. “It’s getting late, I should go to bed.”

“Getting up bright and early tomorrow, uh?” The jovial tone in his voice sounded forced, even to his ears. You nodded mechanically. “Well, good night.”

“Good night.”

You both stood unmoving, staring at each other. Your eyes were asking for something, pleading with him, but he was too lost to understand. He was lost in his own feelings, remembering something Sam had said a while ago.

There’s an entire world between like and love.

And it was true.

Like was doing the dishes with you. It was laughing and screaming while you chased each other around the living room, using fairy lights as lassos. Like was booping your nose when you watched him cook dinner. It was speaking gibberish after watching a foreign film.

Love was that sweet agony that made him feel more alive than he had ever felt. It was letting you hold his hand and play with his fingers even though his nose felt itchy. Love was seeing you wrap his bow tie around your wrist like a bracelet. It was walking around a deserted planetarium with you.

Love was the colour of your favourite lipstick; Carter Red.

“Thanks for your help,” you said, interrupting his train of thought.

“My pleasure.” He tried to smile but it hurt.

Everything made sense now. His crankiness and irritability, his sudden aversion to his oldest friend, the one who had saved his life. The one who had asked you out on a date –or so it seemed.

“Sweet dreams...” he paused, considering, then used your name instead of your usual pet name.

He had no right to call you ‘angel’ anymore. Steve had asked you out first, he had asked Bucky multiple times if he was okay with that, and Bucky’s answers had always been a gritted ‘yes’.

The truth was, his epiphany didn’t change anything. He wouldn’t have asked you out because there was too much at stake: your friendship, your livelihood, your career, the well-being of your family. He couldn’t put you in an uncomfortable position, couldn’t ruin your hard work.

And he was terrified of these feelings. They were too new, too raw.

You pinched your lips together and nodded, avoiding his eyes. He clenched his jaw hard, hating the resigned look on your face. Why did you look so defeated? Without saying anything, you walked past him and left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Part 9

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