#[ now he's gone through yet another break-up / ship ending ]

[despairforme]

     And just like that, he was gone. He disappeared out of Nnoitra’s life without a trace. He hadn’t showed up at work for a couple of days. Grimmjow usually worked in the bar at the club where Nnoitra also worked. They hadn’t talked since... Everything had gone down, but at least Nnoitra had been able to keep tabs on him. Make sure he was okay. When several days had passed without him showing up, Nnoitra grew worried. Yeah, they were no longer dating, but that DIDN’T mean that Nnoitra didn’t care about him. Hell - a part of him would always love Grimmjow. He didn’t think it was possible to have loved someone as deeply as he had loved Grimmjow, without those feelings forever lingering. So yeah, he went to the apartment that they had shared, to see if he was home. There had been no lights in the apartment. Nnoitra had asked the neighbors, and they had said that the place was abandoned.

     That’s when Nnoitra knew Grimmjow was gone. He had taken the cats ( he knew he would never leave without them ) and left. Maybe he had left the city? He didn’t know. He had looked for him at the usual places, but no. He had even asked around. NOBODY had seen a one-armed man with blue hair.

     This was the exact same thing that had happened when Kyota had left out of the blue, except that time they had actually still been dating. At least him and Grimmjow were... More or less over. Even if they hadn’t talked about it yet. It FELT different to. When Kyota had left, Nnoitra had felt betrayed. Now? He felt lost. It felt like a part of him was just removed. Like someone had taken one of his vital organs and ripped it out of him. He had chosen, on his own, to break up with Grimmjow, but he hadn’t been prepared to have him completely gone from his life without a warning. It was probably selfish of him to have expected Grimmjow to say goodbye. After all, HE hadn’t said anything to him when he moved out of their shared apartment. They had been drifting apart for so long, it was hard to know when things had just died between them.

     Nnoitra had walked down to the sea, to the ice-cream shop where they had used to go all the time during summer. The beach was the last place he thought to look for Grimmjow, but he wasn’t here either. Nnoitra sat on a bench, sweaty from the walk ( he was, as always, wearing too much clothing for the season ). He had his hands clenched in his lap, trying to overcome the surging feeling of anxiety. Grimmjow was gone. He was gone. Truly GONE. Regret shot up inside him.

     He wished now more than ever to go back. A year, or two. Whenever it was that they had started to drift apart. He wished he could go back to that point and grab Grimmjow. Make sure they stayed together. 

     The promenade was busy. Filled with people in bathing suits, eating ice cream and laughing with each other. Families, friends, lovers. Nnoitra had never felt more lonely than he did in this exact moment. Like he was a completely different species to everyone else. Like he didn’t understand their language, and they didn’t understand his. He missed Grimmjow so much it hurt. He dug his fingertips into the palm of his hand, to feel something physical instead of this flood of unwelcome emotions. He regretted everything. Everything he had ever done to push Grimmjow away. To not be good enough for him.

     His black pants and black t-shirt were painfully warm in the scorching sun, but he just sat there. He had no energy for anything. He hardly had the energy to breathe. He didn’t want to be alone. Didn’t want to be without Grimmjow. COULDN’T be without him. How was he supposed to live without him?

     ❝ I don’t want this. ❞ His voice was low, only for him to hear. ❝ I don’t want this--- ❞ A little louder, and a heavy inhale following. ❝ I don’t fuckin’ want this! ❞ He raised his voice and the people who passed by the bench gave him curious looks. Nnoitra buried his face in his hands, before raking his fingers through his hair so firmly he ended up tugging it hard. FUCK. He didn’t want this. Didn’t want this. Didn’t want this. Didn’t want this! 

#[ lexie deleted their grimmjow blog so ] #[ nnoitra is v heartbroken :( ] #[ this is not the first time his ship partner deletes ] #[ and i mean they HAD more or less broken up but yEAH ] #[ it him him hard ;-; ] #[ so i had to write something about it ] #[ phew nnoitra has been through a lot over the years ] #[ now he's gone through yet another break-up / ship ending ] #[ rip rip ] #despair for me. ╱ in character. #burn the city. ╱ main verse.

[n3on-graveston3s-calling]

No Plan [ The Still of Your Hand ]

Characters: Shanks, Benn Beckman ( Briefly ), Reader Rating: E Word Count: 4,874 Warnings / Tags: Medical trauma (brief), phantom limb syndrome, medical talk, Reader is the ship's doctor, Dom!Reader (surprise), Shanks needs a break Author's Note: This is 13 pages of smut with some plot. I hope you enjoy. Also, my requests are open if y'all want anything... Specific. MDNI: THIS IS 18+ CONTENT.

Part II of the Think I Need Someone Older series [ Part I: Mihawk ] ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“Sweetheart, give me a hand, yeah?” Shanks called out, drawing your attention away from the journal you’d been writing in- tracking your progress in logs as you sailed with the infamous Red Hair Pirates. You weren’t necessarily a permanent part of the crew- moreso, they were a means to your end. You abandoned your journal for the time being, rising from your seat on the deck of the ship to cross over to the captain. Restocking from the last port you’d docked at; he’d opened up a box of medical supplies. 

Another reason you were here- to play temporary doctor while their own was laid up. 

“Sure, sure. Make me do all the hard work,” you teased, grabbing hold of the box of rubbing alcohol- ten glass bottles. He’d paid a pretty price for these supplies, you noted. “‘S like you got a mini hospital runnin’ on this ship.” 

“I like to be prepared, love.” He shrugged, lips curving into a wide grin. It’s not a big surprise, really; after what he’d gone through over the years, of course he’d want to be prepared. You never know when a Neptunian is going to rise out of the water and take a bite out of you. 

You turned, shuffling your way into the small room that was used as a med bay as he followed after, a box tucked against his side. You could hear Roux laughing through the wall; the kitchen was on the other side. No doubt, he was bothering Benn while cooking up the crew’s dinner for the evening. You’d never tasted better cooking than what Lucky Roux could make. “Are we expecting to be overrun?” You couldn’t help but joke, drawing a laugh out of the other. “I mean, granted- your supplies were low when I joined you.”

“We’re not the best at keeping up with supplies-”

“-that aren’t liquor? Yeah, I’ve noticed.” A roll of the eyes as you lean over at the waist, sliding the remaining bottles into a cabinet.

Shanks paused, hand raised, sterile cloth clutched in hand as he watched you. He couldn’t deny the lust that coursed through him when he thought of you; the way you’d bite back at the comments from the crew with no hesitation. How you’d stood up to Benn when he’d questioned your decision regarding the treatment of Yasopp’s latest injury. How you hadn’t minced your words when talking to himself. You had a spine of steel and a bite to match. And by the Gods, he liked that. Not to mention the view you were giving right now. His gaze traced over the dip in your spine, the way you stretched forward, how your thighs spread-

You rose.

His gaze averted quickly, placing the sterilized cloth in a container. “We like to drink.” He mumbled, a feeling of almost shame washing over him. It was broken though by a phantom pain racing through where his left arm would have been. A gasp spills free from between clenched teeth, his brows drawing inward as he drops the box, grasping at the stub that remained. He could swear he could feel his hand in that moment- or what it would feel like, clenched into a tight fist. 

“Shanks-” You murmured, reaching out to settle a hand on his remaining arm, brows raised in alarm and worry. “Shanks, sit down- you’re pale.”

“‘M fine,” he tried to argue, yet allowed you to lead him to sit on the edge of the cot. It took your hand against his chest for him to lay back, drawing shallow breaths in. This was… Not normal, necessarily. Sure, he’d gotten phantom pains on occasion, but it had been months since the last occurrence. “I’m fine. I promise.”

“I know. But it’s also time to change out those bandages, right?” You offered a small, disarming smile. The bandages prevented the skin from growing agitated and raw due to the salt in the air- and the water. “C’mon, old man. Let me see.”

“Old man?” He scoffed, shaking his head as he let the coat fall from his shoulders. “I’m not that much older than you… Am I?” His lips pursed into a frown as he considered his age. He’d only just turned thirty-eight, he wasn’t that old. Hell, by the standards of the men on his ship- and the men and women he’d sailed with in the past- he was still young! 

“You’ve got a good few years on me,” you hummed, winking playfully as you turned your attention to the tied sleeve. Without thinking, you reached forward, gripping the edges of his shirt- only to have his hand reach out quickly, grasping your wrist. You looked up, meeting a playful crimson gaze and a slowly growing smirk.

“Now, if ye wanted me out of my clothes that badly, all ye needed to do was ask.” Shanks teased, a soft edge of a growl to his voice that had your heart skipping a beat. Oh. Oh, you totally understood how men and women alike fell under him with ease. 

“That’s not-” You argued, only to huff and tug his shirt up- and over his head, covering his face. “Smother.”

“Oy, oy!” He laughed loudly, reaching up to tug the shirt the rest of the way over his head. Torso revealed, he leaned back against the inclined bed casually, grin spread across his lips. “Happy, Doc?”

“You’re insufferable.” You rolled your eyes before setting to removing the old bandages. You’d heard the story about how he had lost the arm, but it was still riveting to think of. A Neptunian- and he survived. Whoever had handled the care when it occurred had done a damn good job. “Are you still having the phantom pain now?”

“No.” Shanks sighed, looking over to study your hands. “Not now that I can-... Well, see.”

“Right.” You hummed, careful with your touches. “You’re staring.”

“Can’t help it.”

“Why’s that?”

“... Anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?”

“Yep. Tons.” You grinned cheekily as you began to rewrap the amputated appendage. “Though, I’ll gladly hear it from you more often, if you’d be so kind.”

“Did you paint your nails?” His question caught you off guard. 

You tied off the knot before pulling your hands back to study. You had painted them the night before, a vivid shade of ruby. You showed your hands to your Captain, who watched your every movement like a hawk. How… Curious. “I did. Do you like them?”

He reached up, grasping one to draw it closer- before he leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to your knuckles. “I think the color is… Very flattering.” He spoke against your knuckles, the rasp of his voice stirring the coals of want. Your voice felt stuck in your throat as his stubble scraped gently against your fingers. “Such beautiful hands…” 

The sound of footsteps broke you both apart, Shanks not dropping your hand but sitting upright. You, however, pulled your hand back as Benn appeared, a brow raised as he studied you. “Logs?”

“Ah, shite.” Shanks sighed, grabbing hold of his shirt to tug back on, followed by the coat. “Fine, fine. I dunno what I’d do without you, Benn.”

“Be in trouble.” Benn commented with a knowing smirk, meeting your gaze over Shanks’ head. “Yasopp also wants to know where the box is with his ammo.”

“It’s a box. Marked ammunition.” You grumbled, tossing the scraps of bandage into the trash, hiding the way your cheeks had flushed at being caught. But nothing had happened. Nothing- except for Shanks holding your hand to his lips, except for the needy rasp in his voice, except for the way he’d looked at you as if he wanted to devour you on the spot. 

Your captain wanted you.

You wanted him. 

What a dangerous game.

You ducked out after Benn, crossing over to the forecastle deck, retrieving your journal and inkwell from the box you’d set them in- to save them from sliding about deck. You couldn’t remember what you had been writing, too flustered over what had just occurred. Swallowing roughly, you focused instead on the horizon- on the gathering clouds. A storm? The wind had shifted, rain cooled. It would be a rough night, it seemed, unless the ship was able to skirt the storm. 

-

It was a storm. A nasty one that had all hands on deck. You yelled over to Yasopp, only for your voice to be drowned out in the sound of waves crashing onto the deck. You cursed as you grabbed onto the railing. Even on the edges of it, the sea had turned against you for the night. Shanks stood at the wheel, shouting commands as he steered the ship into the angered waves. Roux grabbed your arm and dragged you below deck; there was only so much you yourself could do in this situation. It was better to stay below and wait it out with a few others of the crew.

You felt the bow rise high, watched as barrels rolled and boxes slid or fully toppled over, before the bow crashed and the stern rose. Into the waves, Shanks had said. That was the safest way to ride this out. If they went with the waves, the keel would break, and everyone would drown. 

You weren’t sure how long it was until the ocean settled. Long enough that you had managed to find a space where you wouldn’t fall over with each rock of the ship. You rose to your feet, stretching with a grimace as you wandered from your hiding spot. Something was tugging at the back of your mind, leading you through the ship. You found your destination in the form of the Captain’s Quarters. A glance behind you showed that the sun hadn’t risen yet; the moon was still in the sky, though steadily falling towards the horizon. But light spilled from beneath the door, signifying that Shanks was still awake. You knocked, waiting-

“Enter!” He called, voice muffled by the heavy wood. 

You opened the door, stepping in before closing it behind yourself. “You’re still awake.”

“Unfortunately.” He offered a weary smile; the shadows beneath his gaze showing just how exhausted he was. He sighed, leaning back in his seat. “Wanted to make sure we’d be clear of the storm.”

“It’s to our southeast now,” you made your way over, leaning your hip against the desk. “You need to rest, Cap.”

“Too wound up, now.” A vague gesture about; you understood that. Adrenaline in the system weaned away, leaving nothing but anxiety and muscles tensed too tightly to relax.

Your fingers tapped upon the wood, drawing his attention once more. You didn’t notice at first, until he didn’t say anything else. No followup quip. Head tilting, you studied Shanks as he watched your hand, enraptured by the movement of your fingers. An idea came to mind, one wicked enough to prompt blood to rush to the surface of your cheeks, to have your thighs squeezing together at the mere thought. 

“Let me help you.”

“Pardon?” He pulled his gaze away, watching as you moved around the edge of the desk, stepping closer to him. He pushed his seat back, gaze roving over your form, drinking in how you looked in the golden light of the oil lamp. Hair slightly mused from the little sleep you’d gotten, bottom lip swollen from you biting it. “How?”

“You need to… Relax, yes?” You didn’t settle on his lap like he’d been expecting- but rather, you stood behind him, hands resting upon his shoulders. “Let me help you relax. Take away some of this awful tension you’ve been keeping.” Your fingers dug into the muscle beneath, drawing out a pleased groan as his head dropped forward. “Gods, Shanks- you’ve got more knots than the ratlines.”

A humored chuckle escaped, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he straightened up a touch, leaning into your touch more as your thumbs dug into his shoulders, drifting closer to his neck. He exhaled slowly, the subtle rumble of a groan coloring the sound. The sound drew a shudder across your skin; this was dangerous. But you couldn’t stop, even as one of your hands settled around his throat, the other under his chin, prompting his head to tilt back. Auburn tresses shifted back with the movement, baring the scars that laid across his eye- and the hunger within his gaze, pupils blown. You squeezed against his throat for a moment, pressing in at the sides rather down against the windpipe-

He moaned.

Eyes falling shut, mouth dropping open, the sound spilling forth like music to your ears. 

“I can reach better in bed.” Your voice was barely above a murmur as you retracted your hands, watching as his gaze snapped open at the loss of touch. “If you want more.”

“Please.” He breathed, rising slowly to turn towards you. Shanks was a tall man, towering over your form. He reached out, cupping your cheek as he leaned down. His lips met yours in a slow, languid kiss; no rush to it, but the heat had your knees buckling, reaching up to take hold of his shoulders. “Please,” he repeated into the kiss, backing you against the window frames, pressing into you. He hungered for you, you realized: his kiss was full of the same kind of greed a man starved would harbor. You pulled back, only to graze his lower lip with your teeth. 

“Go,” you whispered, watching the way he grinned, turning away to saunter into his room. His shirt was tugged off and tossed to the side carelessly. You didn’t undress, not yet- though, you did unlace your boots and kick them aside before following. You had a plan for this- a plan to help your beloved captain relax. 

To release the tension that ate at him. 

“On the bed.” You ordered, watching as he paused. “Did I stutter?”

“No.” He answered quickly, shaking his head as he made his way to the bed. It was certainly fit for a captain- large enough to fit four, with bedsheets that you were certain cost more than you had on your person. Shanks grinned as he climbed onto the bed, settling on his knees in the center. “Aren’t you going to undress?”

“Not yet,” you smiled sweetly as you approached, steps slow- measured. He was already nearly bursting at the seams- quite literally, you noticed by the way his trousers strained at the front. “I have an idea. You’ll let me take care of you, won’t you?” Your lip fell into a subtle pout as you reached out, cupping his cheeks as he shuffled closer, leaning into your touch as it trailed from his cheeks, to his jaw, to the base of his throat. “You’ll let me ease your worries, yes?”

“Yes,” he breathed, lips parting as your hands smoothed over his chest, taking a moment to massage his pecs. His lips titled up in a smile.

“You’ll let me,” you began, hands settling on his hips, offering a gentle yet firm squeeze before one hand drifted forward, drifting across the bulge that sat prettily for you. He shuddered, eyes falling shut at your touch. “Take away your stress?”

“Yes, please. Please,” oh, he nearly whined as you undid the button of his trousers before tugging them down. You weren’t shocked to see a lack of underwear. Of course not. “Gods, you’re perfect.”

“That’s my boy. Look at you- already hard just from a massage and a kiss. You poor thing!” Cooing, your fingers traced along the prominent vein that sat upon the underside of his cock. Shanks shuddered at the light touch, his eyes falling shut as he shuddered. You couldn’t resist, leaning into pepper kisses along his jawline as you continued your featherlight touches, feeling the way he twitched at the teasing feeling. 

His hand reached out almost hesitantly, grasping at the front of your shirt, pulling hard enough on accident to send you both toppling onto the bed. A bark of laughter escaped as he sprawled on his back with you atop him. “Not what I planned, but I like this, too,” he grinned up at you as you pushed yourself up to hover over him. With his red hair splayed out about the sheets, your breath caught in your chest. 

Shanks was a remarkable sight. Skin tanned to a warm tone, gaze bright despite the lust that clung to him, the faint smattering of freckles across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. You leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, unable to hold yourself back. An appreciative sigh spilled from Shanks as he reached up, cupping the back of your head, holding you closer to deepen the kiss. Teeth nipped at your bottom lip, stirring the heat that had already begun to spread through you. 

No- no, he wouldn’t get the upper hand here. You returned the nip in a harsher manner, pulling free a startled gasp from your lover as you pulled back, licking at your kiss bruised lips. “Be a good boy- take off your shirt,” as you spoke, you moved, turning to face the headboard. You adjusted the pillows, stacking them to offer your back respite as you settled down with a sigh. Better, much better. 

Shanks rushed as he pulled his shirt off, tossing it to Gods know where before turning to face you. His cheeks flushed, a breathless smile curving his lips as he sat upon his knees proudly. 

“Pants, too.”

“Bossy,” he muttered as he took a moment to wiggle out of his trousers, letting them slide off the side of the bed to the floor below. They’ll be fine down there, you decided as you beckoned him closer. His smile turned dangerous as he shuffled closer-

“No, no. Not like that, sweetheart,” you shook your head, watching in amusement as he paused, visibly confused. “Come, lay back against my chest.”

“Lay- oh. Oh!” Realization dawned as he understood your plan, coming to settle his back against your chest, his head resting on your right shoulder. “What about you?” He asked, turning his head to press lingering kisses along your throat. “When do I get a taste of you?”

“Later. This is about you, Captain,” your hand smoothed down his side, nails digging into tanned skin, drawing forth soft red lines along his pelvis. His hips jerked at the pain, a hiss of breath sucked in between clenched teeth. A living work of art, you thought to yourself as your hand smoothed upwards, pausing to tweak a nipple. Another hiss, another shift of his hips into open air. “How often do you get treated like this?”

“Not… Often,” came the soft admittance as he busied himself with sucking bruises into your throat, bound and determined to try to get you as worked up as he was. “Usually, I’m the one in charge.”

A soft moan slipped past your lips at the feeling of his teeth sinking in; that would certainly leave a pretty bruise come morning. “What a shame. I know that must get so tiring for you, yes?” Your fingers settled on his jaw, tilting his head away from your neck. You shifted slightly, adjusting to get a better view as you tapped your fingers against his lips. “Open for me, darling.” Not a request.

Shanks obeyed. His lips parted, allowing your fingers entry before he closed his lips around the digits, eyes falling shut in tandem as his tongue laved at your fingers. You could imagine- rather vividly- what else that sinful mouth could do with the way his cheeks hollowed out, how his tongue curved around your fingers, coating them liberally. Sure, you could have been crude and spat in your palm- but this was better, far better than you could have ever imagined. 

Especially as your free hand settled on his chest, massaging his pec slowly, squeezing the sensitive muscle. Fingers traced his nipple, watching as it hardened beneath your touch, as goosebumps broke across his skin. It was almost cute, you thought to yourself- how sensitive, how receptive Shanks was to your touch. You withdrew your fingers, though he wasn’t satisfied yet- reaching up to grasp your wrist, tongue laving along your palm.

You squeaked. 

“That should do it, eh, treasure?” Shanks rasped, grinning up at you as you shook your head in disbelief. He knew your plan, the bastard. He reached over to the bedside table, tugging the drawer open to pull out a small glass vial. “Though, this might work a touch better.”

“Said the man who was just giving my fingers essential fellatio.” You quipped, cheeks flushed as he laughed, watching you wipe your fingers clean. “Give it.”

“Here,” he settled it in your palm, though took your momentary distraction to sweep in, stealing another kiss from you. You gripped the bottle in one hand while the other swept upwards, cupping his cheek. The angle was a tad awkward, but that didn’t matter- not with the way Shanks seemed bound and determined to get a reaction out of you from a kiss alone.

And a reaction, he got, as his hand settled on your waist, smoothed down to palm between your thighs. You gasped raggedly into the kiss, pulling back from him to frown. “You’re an ass- now lay back, for Gods’ sakes.”

“Can’t help it. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you- wanted this. To touch you,” his back settled against your chest once more. Your arms wound around his middle as you worked the cork out of the bottle, using the lube to slick up your fingers and palm. “How many nights I’ve spent in this bed, thinking of what it’d be like to have you here.”

“That so?” You hummed, listening to the hitch in his breath as your hand settled around him, dragging upwards slowly- base to tip, back down again. “What did you picture? Tell me your fantasies, Shanks,” your free hand settled at the base of his throat once more as his head tilted back, brows drawn inwards. “Did you picture me under you? Begging for your touch?”

“Fuck,” he hissed, hips shifting to slowly grind into your touch, thighs tensing at the subtle scrape of your nails along the sensitive skin of his cock. “Yes- yes, of that. Of how your mouth would feel around my cock. How- oh- how I’d love to watch you take every inch of me.”

“Every inch?” He twitched in your grasp as you circled the head. Curiosity got the better of you as your palm smoothed over the tip- and oh, what a reaction that garnered! His hips stuttered upwards, his words failed as he moaned loudly, hand flying up to grab at your wrist. 

“Shit!” He gasped out a laugh, eyes hazy as he shook his head. “How- yer a little minx,” his accent had grown thicker as he fell beneath the waves of arousal that crashed over him. “Don’t stop.”

“Keep your hand to yourself, and I won’t.” It was interesting- to be in control of this situation. Shanks huffed, but reached up, taking hold of your free hand to lace your fingers together. Such an intimate gesture… You smiled to yourself before regaining your pace. Faster, now- eagerly jerking him off as he continued to moan and writhe beneath your touch. How precum leaked from his tip, aiding in the glide of your palm. You broke your pattern, reaching down to fondle his balls, offering the barest hint of a squeeze.

Shanks nearly sobbed out at the feeling. “Close- close, dear Gods I’m so close, don’t stop!” He pleaded with you, turning his head to tuck in against your throat. 

Your fingers circled his base- and squeezed. 

“Oh, you BASTARD.” He gasped, panting against your throat as you staved off his impending orgasm. 

“Did you really think I’d let you cum that easily?” You grinned as you began to touch lightly once more- as you did in the beginning. “I told you I’d be taking care of you, didn’t I, Captain?”

“I didn’t think it’d be… Oh- ha- like this,” he mumbled against you, his hips twitching up into your touch. You hummed, your grip tightening and holding still, letting Shanks rut up into the warm squeeze. “Oh, my treasure- please, please-”

“Please what? Don’t tell me you’re close again already!” 

“Can’t help- can’t help it!” He whined- and oh, how that was music to your ears as he fucked in earnest into your grip. “Please!”

“No.” You drew your hand away completely, listening to the frustrated groan that escaped Shanks. “You can wait a little longer, yes?”

“You’re evil.”

“But, baby,” you murmured, tilting his chin up to meet his gaze. Hazy- hard for him to focus. He wasn’t one who dabbled in edging often, you noted; he truly wouldn’t last beyond one more round, not unless you wished to deal with consequences. That was a boundary yet to be discussed. “Tell me it doesn’t feel good. Tell me you don’t feel like pure lightning right now.” Shanks sighed, drawing in a calming breath. “Good boy, just like that. I promise I’ll let you cum this time-”

“Oh, thank Gods-”

“If you beg.”

“Beg?” He blinked, the haze clearing from his gaze for a moment. Beg? That’s all he had to do? Oh, he could beg. His grin sharpened as he settled back down, your hand pressing against his chest, pulling him down. “Beg for ye?”

“Beg for me to let you cum.”

“I don’t beg.”

“Then suffer.” You grinned, palm smoothing over the head of his cock, fingers curving down as you rotated your wrist, stimulating the glands in ways he didn’t know was possible. 

He jolted against your hold, a hoarse cry escaping his lips. “Sweet Eros!” He sobbed to the God of Pleasure, stomach tensing up as your hand began to stroke in earnest. 

You leaned your head down, your lips caressing his ear. “I’ll be nice- you don’t need to beg this time. Next time, you will, but this time? I want you to cum, Shanks. I want you to cum for me. I wanna hear you cry for me. Can you do that? Can you be a good boy and cry for me? Let everyone know who’s gotten you to this point?”

Your words, the way your hand was twisting, it was all too much for the Captain. His head fell back against your shoulder as he moaned out your name- long, loud, repeating it like a mantra as he spilled over your hand, onto his stomach, making a mess. You pressed kiss after kiss his temple as he shuddered through it until his hand gently pushed at your wrist; the overstimulation too much for him. 

Your- now dirtied- hand settled to the side while your clean hand smoothed over his chest, feeling the way his breathing gradually evened out over the next few minutes. “You did so good,” you murmured, pressing another kiss to his temple as he sighed, stretching. “I expected no less from my Captain.”

“You must be a siren,” he decided as he sat up, looking at you over his shoulder. “Here, I’ll get a-”

“Nope.” You had already clambered out of the bed and made your way to his private bathroom. “Stay. I’m grabbing a towel!” You called back, though you took a moment to study the marks he’d left on your throat. Five of them. Five. On one side. And one was certainly a visible bite mark, the dog. You returned with a warmed wash cloth to see Shanks lazing on the bed, arm behind his head, his gaze tracking your movements like a cat of prey.

This was far from over, you thought distantly. 

“How do you feel?” You asked as you wiped his stomach clean, taking a moment to teasing lick a spot clean just to hear the way he’d hissed. 

“Relaxed,” came the admittance as he reached out, taking your hand to pull you in. You tossed the rag aside, climbing into bed beside him. His arm wrapped around you, holding you in against his side. “You didn’t-”

“Wasn’t about me.”

“... Do you want to?”

You turned your head, pressing gentle kisses along his jawline. “Later, you can make it up to me. For now, you should rest. That was a lot- more than what you’re normally used to, right?”

“Mm. Normally the one edging others, not being edged.”

“Exactly.” You grabbed the blankets- blessedly unsoiled- and tugged them up, covering your legs. “Get a few hours of sleep. Ben can handle the morning, can’t he?”

Shanks didn’t argue, shuffling down beneath the blankets. He sighed deeply as you settled against his side, arm tossed over his stomach, leg over his hip. “Could get used to this, yeknow,” he mumbled, sleep already starting to drag  him under. 

“So could I,” you whispered, listening to the pleased hum that rumbled in his chest. You smiled to yourself as Shanks fell asleep, your own eyes closing. A few hours of sleep could do you both good. 

You’d need it, for what he had planned in retaliation. 

#one piece #shanks smut #shanks x reader #one piece smut #shanks x you #one piece imagines #think i need someone older #kanon's writings #TW: medical trauma #TW: phantom limb syndrome #yeah that's all I can think of enjoy

[tenebraevesper]

Shatter Me, Entry 0: Fight Together

''Let's leave before the dawn shows. Let's go meet a tomorrow we haven't seen yet. There's no regret about this decision. (Oh I know what I'm supposed to do). What kind of trial awaits ahead? My heart just can't stop beating fast. The place I want to reach is just one. (Fly to the light!) The bonds I got at the end of the fight, I won't let anyone break them. If I just open the fists I grasped, I find my strength lying there.''

– Fight Together by One Piece

xXxXxXx

''Goodbye, Roses…''

Shadow's ears flicked as he heard Sonic's weakened voice, bidding goodbye to his friends who came to escort him to Green Hill. Unfortunately, with the ship being too damaged, it was up to Shadow to help Sonic in the last stretch of their journey through The Void.

Having placed Sonic's arm over his shoulder, Shadow held onto his waist with his other hand, the two leaping from one crystal to another. Sonic was in a very bad condition, his body fading fast. Shadow sneaked a glance at his rival, the sense of concern only growing when he saw that, while he still could hold onto Sonic, he was becoming more and more transparent, like a ghost.

''Agh!''

Sonic gasped in pain as he felt another jolt coursing through his body, his shape distorting for a brief moment. He fell on his knees, with Shadow still holding onto him. A sense of dread and panic set in, with Shadow taking a quick glance at the gate that led to Green Hill, estimating the distance. Then, he quickly scooped Sonic up in his arms, placing his hands under his legs and back as he carried him towards Green Hill, towards safety. He was speeding across the crystal they had landed on, aware that Sonic had little time left. He needed to get him to Green Hill as fast as possible, not wanting to think about what would happen if he failed.

''I never knew you were a hugger.''

Shadow felt his heart leap when he heard Sonic again, glancing down at him. The once azure hedgehog had a cheeky smile on his fawn lips, only to get interrupted by another jolt of pain. Clearly, even at death's door he had to get at least one more quip in. Shadow couldn't help but respond in a snarky tone.

''Do you want me to save you or not?''

Shadow saw Sonic flashing another grin, clearly amused that Shadow decided to continue the banter, only for another jolt of pain to pass through his body. Shadow's eyes widened in horror, and he almost felt his heart stopping as Sonic suddenly fainted, his limp arm swaying.

This was bad. This was really bad. Shadow picked up the pace, skating faster and faster. He leapt from the crystal onto another, aware that Sonic's life depended on him. If he failed to get Sonic to Green Hill… No, did not want to think about that. But still, the gateway seemed to be still too far away.

Gritting his teeth, Shadow focused all of his energy into this one jump, flying through The Void like a shooting star, followed by several sonic booms. His heart was now beating rapidly as his gaze fixated on the Green Hill gateway, the light coming closer and closer.

''HANG ON SONIC!''

He could feel Sonic's limp body almost fading out of his hands, and he tightened his grip. He refused to lose him to The Void. He refused to let go of him. Nothing else mattered aside from this one moment. Shadow narrowed his eyes as the bright light of the gateway illuminated them. He had to make it! He simply had to!

Then, he passed through it… and everything went white.

xXx

Shadow opened his eyes, feeling a sense of dizziness. His arms were light, too light for his comfort, and he realized that the reason for this was because he wasn't carrying Sonic anymore.

''No, no, no… Sonic! Sonic!'' Shadow shouted as he looked around for the azure hedgehog, the dread and panic swirling inside him like a storm. He refused to believe that Sonic was gone. He had to be somewhere here… in Green Hill.

Shadow stopped for a moment, breathing heavily as he finally took a good look at his surroundings. He was back at Green Hill, and everything looked like it used to be before. Green Hill was back to its lush and vibrant colours instead of looking like a shell of its former self. They had managed to restore their home.

Shadow's gaze then turned towards the mountain where the Paradox Prism cave was, and he quickly leapt, rushing towards it. He sped past Big, skating towards the mouth of the cave, only to be washed over by an overwhelming wave of relief. Sonic was there, and he was still alive, sticking close to his friends as they defended the Paradox Prism from Dr. Eggman.

While Shadow did not completely understand the situation fully, he did realize that by entering Green Hill, he and Sonic were brought back to the moment right before the shattering of the Paradox Prism. However, the previous time Shadow arrived at the cave, he was too late to stop Sonic from shattering it. Now, it was clear that Sonic actually listened to his friends, keeping close to them, with this one change preventing their reality from shattering once again.

Shadow had to wonder whether Sonic remembered the events, only to get a confirmation a moment later when Dr. Eggman approached Sonic and his friends. Sonic looked up, gazing past the doctor, his jaw dropping when he saw Shadow at the entrance to the cave.

Their exchange was wordless, with Shadow swiping his hand across the air, revealing the green Chaos Emerald, that had miraculously returned back from the decaying space of The Void, and Sonic nodded in response, agreeing with his plan.

Both knew in that moment that their memories of the Shatterverse were still there, but for now, they had more pressing matters to deal with. Even if Sonic didn't shatter the Paradox Prism this time, they still needed to deal with Dr. Eggman before he could use the Prism for his nefarious plans.

''This world is mine!'' Dr. Eggman exclaimed, only for him and Sonic's friends to be surprised when Shadow appeared seemingly out of nowhere on top of the Paradox Prism. ''Huh? Shadow? What the heck are you doing here?!''

''I am the Ultimate Lifeform,'' Shadow declared in a firm tone, holding the Chaos Emerald tightly in his hand. ''I go wherever I want.''

''Wh-huh?''

Dr. Eggman was left as confused as the rest of Sonic's team, while Shadow held up the Chaos Emerald.

''CHAOS CONTROL!''

Shadow and the Paradox Prism then vanished, leaving Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Rouge immensely confused and with a lot of questions on their mind, as Shadow was the last person they had expected to appear and help them.

''NOOOOOO! What have you DONE?!'' Dr. Eggman screamed, punching the mech in frustration.

Sonic, in turn, felt elated about the turn of events, leaping onto the empty rock where the Paradox Prism once was and turning back to the mad doctor with a wide smile on his expression. He knew that he would have to seek out Shadow later on to thank him for everything he had done, but now, it was time for some heroic last words in the wake of Eggman's defeat.

''Sorry, Eggman, but when you've got a crew like mine, there is nothing that can stop you.''

Links:

#Current Chapter

#Next Chapter

#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

#Shatter Me #Sonic Cyber Revolution Analyzer #sonic prime #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #rouge the bat #big the cat #dr eggman #sonadow #sonadow prime

[your-not-invisible-to-me]

Wax Strips (Matt Murdock x Reader)

A/N: This one shot was supposed to be a birthday present for @pastafossa, but in the time before and since their birthday I've gotten COVID, started a new job, and have been exhausted ever since. But, alas, it is finally written.

I haven't written fanfic in a long time. Please be kind.

Ship: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary:

Matt prides himself on his memory until he forgets to take the trash out, causing you to learn a new secret.

Word Count: 1,825

Warnings for Chapter: mentions of toxic ex, insecurities, mentions of body hair/waxing

If there was one thing Matt Murdock was, it was precise.  

He wouldn’t have survived this long without it.  After everything he had been through with the accident, after everything he’d been through with Stick to lead to him becoming the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, who would he be if he wasn’t?  

That included his memory. Especially when it came to you.  

He remembered everything about the day you had come into his life. The way he picked up your heartbeat before you entered the building where the Nelson & Murdock office lay. You were old friends with Foggy, and had just moved back to the city.  

He remembered the sound of your footsteps as they pressed against the floor, each beat making his heart pound faster as he wondered who they belonged to.  

He remembered the smell of your perfume as it blew past his nose. Cherries and blossoms, like a fresh summer day brightening up the dark in his mind.  

It was your voice, however, that would be sketched into his soul.  

“And this is Matt Murdock, the second half of this esteemed establishment of course!” Foggy’s excitement about seeing his friend could be heard a mile away.  

“Hello.” Sweet and shy. Beautiful. He knew he needed more.  

“Hello,” said Matt. His voice was out like a whisper in the wind.  

After a moment of silence that was just a moment too long, it was Foggy who groaned in annoyance.  

“I’ll give each of you the other’s number later. Now come on, Matt has work to do and we have a lunch reservation.”  

It took Matt another six months before he even dared to mention his secret, completely surprised when you didn’t turn him in, or even worse, turn and run away. It was another six months after that when you finally moved in with him.  

But living together meant knowing everything- and there was one secret he wasn’t sure he was okay with you knowing yet.  

He had thrown them away in the small trashcan he had kept in the bathroom that the two of you now shared. All of his supplies were tucked safely away.  

That’s when he felt the fingers along his back, their soft pads wrapping around his stomach. It was then he felt your lips, soft kisses across his shoulder.  

You had just gotten back from a week-long work trip and apparently weren’t too keen to see him up this early in the morning.  

“It’s too early Matt, come back to bed.”  

The kisses continued across his back before you slowly turned him around, chasing lips of his own. The way your tongue hit his lips, slowly opening him up to chase the feel of his mouth made a shiver go down his spine. He let you pull him back to bed.  

He meant to throw the trash out of the bathroom, he really did.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat at the end of Foggy’s couch, nursing the beer in your hand. You knew Foggy was trying to tell you a story, but your mind was elsewhere.  

The sound of Matt leaving the apartment had long faded away when you finally convinced yourself to leave the safety of the warm covers. You padded into the bathroom, content to wash up and relieve yourself when you saw them bunched up in the trash.  

Wax strips.  

What was Matt doing with wax strips? You didn’t use them, that was for sure. Why would Matt? The pouring of thoughts started breaking through, and suddenly all you could do was wonder what had gone on in the apartment in the week you had been gone.  

“You okay?”  

“Hmm?”  

“Considering I finished my story, and you’ve been silent, I can only assume your mind is somewhere else,” said Foggy.  

“Sorry, Fogs, I just...”  

“What is it?”  

“Is Matt cheating on me?” you asked. The words were out before you could even blink.  

“What? What in the world are you talking about?” 

“I know you heard me, Foggy.”  

“Which is why I’m concerned. Do you know how long I’ve known Matt? I’ve never seen him more in love than he is now. Why on earth would you think he’s cheating on you?” He took a sip of his beer, his eyebrows scrunched in his own confusion.  

“I found wax strips in the bathroom trash!”  

And suddenly your face was spattered with beer as the only sounds you could hear were the one of Foggy’s laughter. You wiped your face, annoyed.  

“It’s not funny, Foggy! I don’t use wax strips!” You threw a pillow at his head.  

“Okay, one, rude with the pillow. Two. I know you don’t use wax strips. I can’t believe he’s still doing this, but they’re Matt’s.”  

And that’s when he told you.  

Matt had his fair share of ladies in college, but there was one girl, even before Elektra, that had done a number of him. One look at him without a shirt was all it took for her to dump him, and why?  

Cause he had chest hair. 

And she thought it was gross.  

Ever since then, Matt Murdock had a wax strip budget. He waxed his chest regularly, and never let another girl close enough to tell.  

As Foggy finished his story, all you could think about was one thing.  

Someone had hurt the love of your life so much that he felt like he couldn’t be honest with you. He felt like he had to change himself, as if anything different would make you run away. Finding out he was Daredevil was one thing, but you were finding yourself feeling different about this.  

Someone had hurt Matt’s heart, and that wasn’t okay with you.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting on the couch reading a book when he came home. The clang of the roof door echoed as he ran down the stairs and into the bathroom.  

“You okay?” you called out, head not looking up from the page you were, at this point, pretending to read.  

“Needed to pee!” The sound of the toilet flushing echoed throughout the apartment as you waited. You knew him too well.  

“Fuck.”  

There it is.  

More time passed before Matt slowly emerged from the bathroom, devil suit in hand as he now wore the t-shirt and sweats he sometimes kept in the bathroom. He threw the suit into the trunk before slowly turning to you, your head still looking at the book.  

“Sweetheart?”  

“Hmm?”  

“Did you, um, did you take the trash out?”  

“Yes, when I got home tonight.” You closed the book, finally looking up at him. “Is there a problem?”  

“No, no, it’s fine. I just, um.”  

In a way, this was fun. You hadn’t seen Matt flustered like this since the day he had first asked you to dinner. That being said, he was flustered for the wrong reasons.  

“What is it, Matt?”  

“You saw-.”  

“The wax strips, yes.”  

Matt stood there looking like a deer in the headlights. His eyes moved around quickly, and you knew what he was doing. He was trying to read you. But you knew he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. He wasn’t going to find the disgust.  

“Come here? Please?” You reached your arm out to him and waited, like trying to lure an abused pet into trusting you. Hell, maybe that’s what you were doing to an extent. He eventually took your hand, sitting on the other end of the couch. Before he could say anything, you crawled into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.  

The stiffness in his shoulders bled out in a near instant as he buried his head in your neck. You took your time, softly scratching your nails down his back as you just breathed with him.  

Eventually, you pulled back, taking his head in your hands.  

“I’m sorry, Matty.”  

“Sweetheart-”  

“No, let me finish.”  

His jaw snapped shut with an audible click.  

“I’m sorry that that stupid girl back then made you feel like this. But I’m even more sorry that I made you feel like this was something you needed to hide.”  

“You’re not, you didn’t, I... it doesn’t gross you out?” asked Matt. You could feel the worry simmer off his chest as if one wrong word from him would have you packing.  

“No, Matt, of course, it doesn’t. And even if it did, I would never ask you to shave or wax for me. Your body is natural. Chest hair is natural. You shouldn’t feel like you need to change it for anyone!”  

Matt dipped his head forward, giving you the perfect angle to place a kiss on his forehead. He let out a breath, each word shakier than the next as he spoke.  

“She told me it was gross. That just, that just looking at it made her want to vomit. I had never even given a thought to my chest hair before then. I didn’t think I had to. How does it not gross you out?”  

“Matthew Murdock, tell me, if I were to suddenly stop shaving my legs, would that gross you out? Would you tell me I needed to shave them or you’d leave me?”  

The silence spoke louder than words.  

“Exactly.”  

Matt let out a sigh, a soft thud could be heard as his back hit the couch. It wasn’t hard to understand that he still wasn’t sure.  

You took his chin in your hands, turning his head so you could give him a kiss. It still made you feel like you were floating on air the way he would automatically open himself to you in a moment like this. You pulled back gently.  

“Listen, I’m not saying you need to change anything that you don’t want to right now. It’s your body.” He shuddered as he could feel the breath of each word hit his lips. “I’m just saying that if you did want to? I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”  

You kissed him again, tracing your thumb against this jaw before breaking the kiss. He softly spoke. 

“Okay.”  

It was only a few weeks later when you walked into the bathroom as Matt was getting ready. He stood up from where he was rinsing his face and faced you, causing you to freeze in your path.  

Matt’s hairy chest.  

He’d apparently stopped waxing, cause low and behold your boyfriend stood in front of you, his hairy chest right there for you to see.  

It couldn’t have made you happier.  

“Good morning,” said Matt. The nerves could be heard as he waited for any sort of reaction from you.  

In an instant, your arms were around him. You rubbed your cheek against his chest as you buried your head into him. The little hairs tickled your face, feeling lovely as you pressed a kiss into his sternum. You looked up, placing a kiss on his chin.  

“Good morning.”  

The smile on his face was all you needed.  

A/N: Feedback/comments always appreciated! I tried proofreading this the best I could! Feel free to let me know if I missed something.

#matt murdock x reader #daredevil x reader #matt murdock x f!reader #daredevil x f!reader #daredevil #matt murdock #fic #fanfic #reader #reader insert #reader fic #fluff #hurt/comfort #matt murdock needs a hug #insecurity #insecure #cuddles #cuddling #foggy nelson is the true mvp #foggy nelson #oc #matt murdock x oc #matthew murdock #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fanfic

[thegoodwitchglinda]

magazine matchups

vil x reader

you and vil were supposed to just be colleagues, but as your work kept pushing you closer and closer together, you couldn’t help but fall for one another.

a/n: this is another repost of a previously deleted fic I posted. also can’t believe i ever deleted this, this is like the funniest thing I’ve ever written (imho)

—————————————

His absence was something you barely noticed, just as his presence. You weren’t oblivious to it, however. It started out as a coincidence, the two of you ended up modelling for a few projects together, which had the internet going wild. Soon enough, it turned into free advertising, and your managers were intentionally pulling the strings so that you’d be working together. If anything, the nonsensical rumours that came out of it were kind of annoying - other than that, you had no strong opinion about working with him, or his personality.

He wasn’t exactly a constant in your life either, that’s why you almost didn’t notice his unannounced break from the public eye. You remembered him after seeing a now slightly old article about the SDC, ah that’s right, he’d taken a break from almost all of his work to focus on the competition, which had ended a couple of months ago. Despite this, you can’t recall him coming back to the limelight since.

Might as well check his magicam page, you thought. He still posted there, would it be weird to follow him out of nowhere? Eh, who cares- you did it anyways, and then went to bed.

As always, it felt like the sun rose far too early to wake you from your slumber. Your alarm hasn’t gone off yet, or you hoped it hadn’t at least. You checked the time, and you were fine, you didn’t oversleep.

In the meantime you should probably check the texts you got from Neige, your certified best friend who doesn’t usually text you at six in the morning.

“Hey, Y/N! You’re trending on magicam, so is you and Vil’s ship-name, did you know?”

Um, what? That was… strange? Honestly, you really wanted to see what was going on, but you’d be late for school if you let social media get a grip on you right now.

Break time. It felt pretty exciting to hear the bell ring this time around, since you’d been itching to find out what had you on the trending page, it’s not like you did anything either spectacular or offensive recently.

Damn, Neige really wasn’t lying, then again, you couldn’t recall any time he ever has. Your expression died down comically quick, as you kept scrolling through the tagged posts. Your fans were literally insane sometimes, to the point were maybe following someone new on your public account was a bit of a mistake. Basically all of your conjoined fandom was trying to theorise over Vil being added to the list of people you follow, which was otherwise only Neige and your manager. Really, it was a slight disappointment, but it was also kind of funny, at least the internet didn’t decide it was time for a dose of unjust cancel culture just yet.

A few days later, after school had let up, you went to hang out with Neige in town. It was a tradition between you two, a way to keep in contact despite your busy schedules. The two of you often cycled round different attractions or areas in the city, sometimes just opting to walk around and talk. This time, you were headed to the local museum. It was interesting to read about all the history loaded behind what seemed like a simple piece of pottery, or learn about how certain things were used to supplement both the lack of technology and magic of the older world.

It was mostly things you’d seen here before though, but you’d never paid much mind to the modern art section, you realised after thinking about it. “Hey Neige, should we go look over there? Who knows, they might have your portrait framed or something.”

Your joke was received with a light laugh and, “Sure, let’s go take a look!”

This section of the museum felt a lot smaller, but there were even less people willing to marvel at the paintings that adorned the walls. Coincidentally, the one other person that was there happened to be someone both you and Neige recognised. You wondered if he visited the place a lot, people don’t tend to look so blank whilst visiting a museum by themselves.

Neige turned to you, excited to ask if it’d to be alright to approach him. That’s right, you’d somewhat forgotten that those two knew each-other. “Yeah sure, I don’t mind.” As soon as the sound of his name filled the room, his head turned, and his expression looked mildly annoyed. Did he look like that before? God, you’d have to hope the two of you weren’t upsetting him. Your friend however, didn’t appear to notice anything out of the ordinary as he continued to make small talk.

Gradually, said small talk came to close, and Neige had invited him to spend more time with the two of you, though Vil politely declined. He was rather curt, but he didn’t seem like a bad person, if anything your opinion hadn’t changed since you first worked with him.

Before waving goodbye, you rushed to scribble your phone number down on a crumpled piece of paper to give to him. Momentarily, you pondered wether that was a good decision to make, as he almost stayed silent, but soon put on a smile and thanked you. It was an awkward first meet.

Vil turned away after the two of you had left, it was due time to head back to his dorm, despite his visit to the museum serving a different purpose than intended. For Vil, he had hoped to come about some inspiration in preparation for returning to his work but meeting Neige was a frustration in its own right, considering how a large part of his break was dedicated to self improvement after realising his envy was severely holding him back.

Regardless of his efforts, it was disappointing to see Neige thrive under the same conditions as him and yet thwart all the hardships that Vil faced. Whilst his perfection was his pride it robbed him of approachability.

You however, offered him your number despite how out-of-reach he often is to people through your slight uncomfortableness. He thought it was folly of you, but it was a rare boldness that wasn’t unbeffiting of you - having only experienced similar things from Rook, who sometimes took it to an extreme.

Maybe it came from you also being in the industry, but he found himself thinking fondly of it. When Vil arrived at pomefiore once again, he decided to follow you back on magicam, not unaware of you doing so a few days back, although he made no effort to add your contact to his phone. You were still asleep by morning, enjoying the extra time the weekend was granting you. When you did wake up, you checked your phone, a part of your usual morning routine. ‘Oh, he doesn’t hate me’ was what came to mind after seeing that Vil had followed you back.

Not having any plans today you thought to message him on the app, curious as to wether he’d reply. “Hey, how are you doing? Hope we didn’t bother you yesterday.”

After sending that short message you looked through your feed for a bit. Reasonably soon you got an awfully formal response back. Apparently he didn’t mind your presence the other day, which was nice to know. Now however, you were in a position of not knowing wether or not to continue the conversation or what to say. Reaching out to someone over something so minuscule without making an attempt at getting closer with them proved kind of useless, so the two of you briefly discussed your musings about school and work before cutting the conversation.

That was the last time either of you had talked to one another until the two of you inevitably crossed paths again, outside of the internet. This time, the two of you met at a more understandable place, a model’s holy grail, the skincare section.

Another thing to note was that this time, he was not unaccompanied, unlike you. His purple-haired friend was actually who drew your attention away from the ingredient list on the bottle you were looking at. Being a bit louder than intended, he was complaining about this excursion being a waste of time and effort. When you did turn around, you saw Vil glaring daggers into the poor boys soul. Maybe they weren’t friends as you’d initially thought?

Ignoring it would’ve been your best bet but as you heard Vil sigh and mutter something along the lines of ‘I thought we were past this’ you realised he was dragging himself and his possible-friend in your direction. The two of them started looking at the labels of product after product, after Vil had scanned the shelf for a short while. Vil looked quite nonchalant while doing so, but his friend seemed awfully confused when absentmindedly staring at the product. Considering you knew one of them, you thought it might be good to offer up some advice, and recommend a couple brands.

Vil was actually quite thankful for your help, due to him only using products that he’s created himself, he was only aware of what was currently popular rather than beneficial. And this wouldn’t have been the best way to teach Epel how to pick out certain products without any good examples. He thanked you, and invited you to hang out over coffee some time as a thank you.

It was perhaps a little overboard, but neither of you really minded, considering how it was starting to seem that you could become decent friends. And that was how you ended up here, finally settled in to a popular cafe, that at first proved to be a bit of a poor choice, specifically due to its popularity.

When the two of you met up, the people already around the place started to form a crowd around you. It was reasonable, after all people don’t see celebrities everyday, and whilst you were used to it, it could prove to be rather bothersome. Of course, both of you handled the situation well, but there was something so enchanting about how graceful he was with each and every person who approached him, and how he was able to express his appreciation all the while making sure his air of perfectionism never slipped.

When you eventually got a moment of quiet together, you made sure to learn a lot about each other. He wouldn’t say it out-right, but you could surmise that the purple-haired boy from before and a huntsman named Rook were his set of friends. It sounded like an interesting group, but cute nonetheless. You also figured out that a lot of his personal life revolves around his work, or maybe it would be better to say that they happened to coincide.Despite that, he still seemed less daunting now that you’d got to know him a little.

Naturally, you two hung out a lot more after that, and it was fun as you got more comfortable. You even got to do things like convincing him to pose for you to draw him because, “come one, it’ll be extra practice!” He didn’t look amused at all, but he still let you.

Sketching Vil was enjoyable, but he wouldn’t let you notice how he got increasingly anxious as time passed. Vil normally had no reason to feel anxious around anyone, he usually felt confident in himself, but the issue was that his confidence was surprisingly conditional.

It was strange though, the only person to ever make him feel insecure before was Neige, yet you didn’t make him feel threatened. He could only come to one conclusion as to why he was becoming increasingly sensitive to your opinion on him, and being as self aware as he is, the answer didn’t come as a shock to him. But acknowledging that he was in love was a scary revelation to make.

As you finished up your drawings and showed them to him whilst raving about how pretty he was, he calmed down. His appearance was the main factor in his confidence, and reminding himself that he would always have power in that regard soothed his anxiousness, but what really relieved him this time around was the fact that you weren’t judging him.

The next time you were on-set participating in a photo-shoot together, you’d known beforehand. You were both affiliated with the same company, and had managed to put two and two together when discussing your work schedule.

Things felt a lot more light-hearted than all of the other times you’d worked together. Seeing him there as you’d entered the room put a smile on your face.

As you’d taken your last shot together, and everything was getting cleared up, you went to take your arm of Vil’s shoulder, but as you were doing so, he grabbed your hand. You could feel him tense up, and the walls started to feel slightly closer than before. “What’s wrong?” You couldn’t help but be worried. You saw him take a second to compose himself, before he leaned closer to you and whispered a short confession in your ear, “I’ve happened to find myself loving you… Would you be mine?”

That was… unexpected.

But when you said yes, Vil found himself experiencing a joy he hadn’t felt in a long time, and enveloped you in a gentle, heartfelt hug. The two of you stayed there for quite some time, ignoring everyone else around you because they didn’t matter.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #vil schoenheit #vil shoenheit x reader #vil x reader #vil #twst x reader #dtw

[kalolasfantasyworld]

I walk alone

Summary: Nozel walks through the shadows and sees scenes of what his life could have been.

Type: One shot

Genre: Heavy ANGST

Warnings: blood

Word count: 1551

Ships: Nozel x Vanessa, Nozel x Selena, Nozel x Fuegoleon, Nozel x Helia, Nozel x Briar, Nozel x Dorothy, Nozel x Helena

Author's note:

OCs in order belong to @thoughtfullyrainynightmare, @loosesodamarble, @koneko-pi and Helena is mine.

The vibes of this fic were inspired by @f-oighear's one shot: But the cold, dark gaze is your own.

Illustration is at the end.

Ao3

Is he in a dream? He does not know, but the shadows that swirl around him are ominous. He looks away, but it is the same on the other side. Shades of gray. There is a path and he walks on it, because what else can he do?

Each step feels heavy. He feels the burden resting on his shoulders. The burden of responsibility, burden of duty. It is suffocating, but he pushes on. He knows nothing else. Stronger! Stronger! Stronger! He keeps on repeating. My path is mine and mine alone.

So he walks by himself, dragging his feet, tripping. Shadows come closer.

He cannot take a break, but… his composure is shattering. Just a moment, a little bit. 

So he stops, nobody will notice. He turns his head to the side and his lilac eyes widen, surprised. 

The shadows part, just in that one spot, they swirl away and there is light. He needs to squint, because he is not used to it. Dark markings strangled him, kept him away from it, he kept himself from it, for fifteen years of his life. So how is this light apparent now?

He looks closer and he sees a flutter of pink. Pink? He smells wine, but why wine? 

His eyes meet with those of amethyst color and he sees flushed cheeks. 

“Hello handsome,” the woman winks. It is just that she is not talking to him. There is a man next to her. Man that could be his twin, because they both have silver hair, fair skin, lilac eyes. However it is not Nozel, because he knows himself and he is not happy. So how does this Nozel look as if he was? He wants to know the secret, wants to know how?

He takes a step closer… he falls on his knees. 

The light is gone, only shadows remained. 

He struggles to stand up. His legs are wobbly, because the burden is back. Somehow heavier than ever. Alone he pushes on. 

Stronger! Stronger! Stronger! The words are there, repeated like a mantra. 

Yet another step, yet another drag of his feet and they hurt. The soles of his sandals are not enough to shield them from the hard rocks, which suddenly appeared on the path.

He looks at them.

However then suddenly a flash of light appears. His eyes dart to it and he is focused. His legs feel lighter, so he approaches it. 

Silver? No she is not a Silva, he does not know her and yet she feels familiar. As if when he looks at the night sky he sees her. The moon looks down at him. And once again there is a man beside her. She is soft with him and he… he is soft with her. Yet another impossible twin. 

So he wants to gaze longer, but the moment he takes a step closer, light fades again. The burden settles, crushes him. Markings strangle his neck. 

Stronger! Stronger! Stronger!

He walks down the path. The sharp stones seem to break the soles of his sandals, but they are still fine… for now. 

When the light appears again, he is not surprised and he runs to it, once again magically rid of the heaviness. He stops close enough so that he can see, but not too close, worried that it will disappear. 

Why is his rival there? Why are they sitting under a tree? What are they talking about?

Fuegoleon seems to be calmly explaining something and the man beside him… listens. They are younger, teenagers. But he has no memory of that. What does it mean? This Nozel does not look burdened. 

He cannot stop himself from taking a step. It fades… once again it fades…

Stronger! Stronger! Stronger! But he wishes for yet another light.

His shoulders hurt. The burden digs into them. He is struggling not to trip. Not to fall down on the sharp rocks. 

He sees it. He darts towards it. Somehow his prayer was answered. 

Gold? Gold and green. The woman is standing in the water and smiling. She submerged her hands in it only to lift them up and splash them! He flinches, but she did not splash at him. The man beside her gets a little wet. He expects the man to snap. He does not. The man looks… happy?

He needs to take a closer look. He forgets and takes a step. The light fades.

Stronger! Stronger! Stronger! Stronger to see another light?

He feels the rocks. The soles of his shoes begin to have holes in them. It hurts! He pushes it down. He does not hurt. He is strong. 

However when the light appears he does not have to pretend anymore… because the pain fades away. 

The woman is not facing him. She has long, light brown hair, so long that it nearly touches the ground. He notices her ears… they are pointy? Then a man comes up from behind her. He puts his hand on her shoulder and she turns around. Her eyes… They are beautiful, peach colored. Her expression is serene as she looks up at the man. That man… he is not nervous… he is happy. 

Maybe if he got a closer look he too..? However when he does the shadows remind him that he cannot. They swallow the peach eyed woman and the man. Once again he is alone. 

Stronger! Stronger! Stronger! Why is it on repeat?

He flinches. Pain. His shoes break down. The soles do not make it and sharp rocks dig into his feet. The burden, the duty lies heavy on his shoulders. He wonders will his spine make it? It has to. He is strong… right?

However he only feels strong, when the light appears again. His wide open eyes look at those with interchanging colors. Colors of pink, blue and purple. Why is that witch there? How is she not asleep? She makes a V-sign with her fingers and giggles, but she does not giggle at him. She giggles at the man whose cheeks are bright pink. He is embarrassed, but not in an uncomfortable way. This is softer. The man smiles tenderly. 

He wonders would this expression look the same on him? So he tries, but the corners of his lips are not used to the movement. The muscles seemed to forget. An ugly grimace forms instead. He covers his mouth. 

This time he is the one to step back. The light fades.

Stronger! Stronger! Stronger!

Something wet.... There is blood on his feet. He feels his back crack, he needs to lean forward, because the burden is too heavy. He wishes for the light no more. It gets worse with each one. Or maybe… just one more time? One more time, before he hurts his feet and they cannot walk anymore. One more time before he gives away to the burden. He walks, but it is hard. It is hard to breathe with the markings suffocating him. 

He trips. His hands bleed. The rocks cut the skin open. White fabric on his knees tears. There are no tears streaming down his cheeks. He is strong. He tries to stand up.

The light shines. He looks up and suddenly he is able to walk, able to run, but he is scared. He worries that if he gets too close it will disappear again. However he cannot see from this far. His feet decide for him. 

He takes a look. The man standing there looks the most like him, from all of those he saw. His expression flat and arms crossed over his chest. 

He furrows his brows. What does it mean?

But before he can wonder, a flash of red appears and a woman comes from behind the man, she excitedly jumps up and wraps her arms around him. The man nearly stumbles… but he is not angry. And the woman laughs. Her dark chocolate hair falls on him and contrasts with the silver. It frames her bright smile and deep brown orbs… almost black. She whispers something to the man and he rolls his eyes affectionately. Affectionately..? How does one do that? 

He wants to ask, so he opens his mouth… but no words come out. He tries again, but he is mute. He puts his hand to his throat. It burns. The markings burn, they suffocate. He tries to scream, but those two surrounded by light do not hear, because there is nothing to be heard. So he reaches out his hand.

The light..? Why is it… wet?

It disappears. Only his outreached palm stays. His eyes widen. It is red, just as that woman’s dress. Blood red and the droplets fall on the sharp rocks. Right… they cut it open.

Stron… He is not strong anymore. He falls on the hard ground. It hurts his body. The burden crushes his lungs. The markings tighten around his neck. The shadows swirl and blood… it spills. He lies there looking up at the dark. Nothing is there.

Nothing… nothing… nothing…

Something wet trails down his cheeks. Tears? His eyes open and he stares at the white ceiling of his room at the Silva estate. What was that dream? He wonders. Heavily he lifts himself up on the bed and looks to the side. 

It is empty…

#Let me know if this needs more warnings #This was very spontaneous #I wrote it today #nozel silva #black clover fanfic #black clover oc #nozel x helena #nozel x fuegoleon #nozel x vanessa #nozel x oc #nozel x briar #nozel x helia #nozel x selena #nozel x dorothy #angstpril2024 #angst #cw blood #angstpril #one shot

[write-and-wander]

Touch: Chapter 7

Pairing:  Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader

Warnings:  Swearing, angst, and a new version of the sequels

Word count:  7.6K

Author’s note: Everything comes down to this- the final chapter :)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Chapter 7: Journey's End

He’s searching for someone.  Who?  He’s not quite sure anymore.  A Kenobi not yet brought to the dark side, now running loose, should be his enemy.  Another target to hunt down before the resistance gains another leg up.  A companion gifted to him by the force, however- someone who needs him just as much as he needs her- that’s something entirely different altogether.  If he is meant to rule the galaxy with her by his side, then he now has no way of protecting her.  What if they find her first?  What if she strays from her purpose- from our purpose?

He knows that if you were to turn against him, you could very well be his downfall.  What if I don’t have the strength to stop her?

He paces the room, his mind racing through multitudes of possibilities and their solutions.  The tablet still sits open on the table, the red indicator for the missing ship’s tracker still lying to him.  You are gone.  And he has no way of finding you.  Unless…

The force has brought us together before, he thinks, focusing on you; on the shift in the atmosphere- in the force itself- when you were present.  He calls out to the force.

And it answers him.

As if rounding a corner, you walk in, your name immediately tumbling from his lips.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You’re walking- almost jogging- through the resistance base, discerning faces and scanning over heads in the search for Poe.  Come on, come on, where is he?  You pull a couple of different people aside, asking them if they’ve seen Dameron, only to be met with shrugs and wild guesses.  You start to make your way out of the main rooms and begin to weave through hallways, praying to the force that you don’t get yourself lost in the maze of the bustling base.  You come to a fork and stop for a moment before you feel the force pulling you to the left.  Rounding the corner, you stop dead in your tracks at the sound of your name and the sight of your abandoned Commander.

“Where are you?” He asks right away, his voice gentle.

Why would the force do this now, of all times?  “I need to go,” you say curtly.  You try to move past him, but he steps over, blocking your way.

“You were so close,” he says low, his brown eyes boring into yours.

You pause and take a breath to speak, but you can’t seem to find anything to say.

“Please, come back to me,” he pleads, his voice breaking, “I feel so lost.”

You shake your head, taking a step back.  He closes the gap, his face just inches from yours.

“Come home,” he whispers, bringing his arms up to your sides.  He lowers his eyes to level with yours and moves to grab your shoulders.

Just before his hands touch you, the man right in front of your face snaps to Poe Dameron, whose hands are now holding your shoulders.

“Hey, you!” he greets with a smile.

You jump, breathing hard.

“Woah, woah, hey-” his voice drops as he immediately switches gears, “you okay, Kenobi?”

Relaxing into his grasp, you let his strong arms keep you steady as you collect yourself.

“Yeah, yeah-”

“Deep breaths,” he interjects.

You nod, swallowing hard.  “I need you to come with me to Coruscant.”

“Just me?”

You nod again.

“Why?”

“I have something you need.”  You watch excitement grow in his face as he nods, taking your hand.

“Well, then, what are we waiting for?”

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You land on Coruscant shortly before Poe does, as he had followed you closely on the trip over.  You land further off than you normally would, attempting to divert attention to from your house.

When you walk in, you realize that this time, the house feels stale.  There’s a noticeable layer of dust on the surface- this place hasn’t been so well kept.  Did Vilya just… stop taking care of this place?

Poe lands even further yet, and waits a while to follow you into your home.

“So,” he starts, looking around at your home. “this yours, or?”

“Yeah,” you answer quick, focused on what you came for.  You head straight into your parent’s bedroom and withdraw the wayfinder from its hiding spot for the last time. 

Poe is looking around when you return. You hold it out towards him.  His eyes widen.

“Here.”

“How the hell did you manage to get this from them?” He asks with a grin, taking it from your hands to inspect it.

“I didn’t.”

He freezes, looking up at you.  “Then how do you have it?”  Though his words form a question, his sudden shift to a cold tone frames it more like a statement.

“It’s a long story, Poe.”

“Oh, we’ve got time,” he retorts.  He pockets the wayfinder.

Staring back at him, your expression shifts from nervous to hurt.  Does he not trust me?  I guess I didn’t think about how I would explain this to him.  How do I even begin to explain everything?

“You’re lucky I trust you,” he adds, pulling up a chair to sit and motioning for you to follow suit, “or you wouldn’t still be standing.  Now talk.”

You nod, sitting down in front of him.  You know you can’t blame him for his reaction- any person with half a brain would respond in kind.  You’ve never seen Poe this guarded before though- especially with you- and it’s unsettling, to say the least.  Shaking off your discomfort, you collect yourself.

“Remember how my parents left me a few gifts after they disappeared?”

He nods.

“That was one of them.  But it was different then.  The light in there was green.  It felt different when I carried it.”

“Different how?”

“It wasn’t anything... dark; just the opposite, actually- it was light.  And it promised hope.  And I used it to find Luke.”

“Skywalker?”

You nod.  “Turns out, he changed it so my dad could find him down the line- but when my dad disappeared, he changed it so I could use it.”

“That’s a real convoluted way of leaving an emergency contact,” he quips, relieving some of the tension in the room.

“Wasn’t my idea,” you defend, putting your hands up.

“Fair point…” he affirms with a soft smile.  “So why’d it change?”

“Well, Luke smashed it the second I showed it to him.”

Poe laughs, “right.”

You can’t tell if he was being sarcastic, but you’d rather not try to clarify.  Instead, you continue.  “But I wanted it back.  It was still something my parents gave me, and I thought maybe it was worth a shot.”

“So, what, you built a new one?”

“No, no, I, uh…” You pause, realizing this is going to sound ridiculous.  “I reached out to the force, and it… fixed it.”

Poe stares blankly.

Desperate to move things along so as to not waste anymore time, you give up on trying to explain it.  “It would make more sense if I could show you.”

“Sure,” he says hesitantly, clearly not buying your story, but not in complete disbelief either.

“May I?” you ask softly, lifting your hand to his temple. 

He shoots you a confused look, but when your expression remains completely serious, he finally nods. 

You place your hand on the side of his head and call out to the force.  Please.  Let me show him.  Show him what you showed me...  Show him the wayfinder.

Your memories flash through the front of your mind- holding the wayfinder, hiding it, using it to find Luke, watching it shatter, reaching into the dark side to retrieve it, seeing Exegol, hiding it from Poe, hearing of it on the resistance base, and handing it to Poe.  You drop your hand in your lap, watching Poe’s expression shift from confusion to resolution.

“I’ll be damned,” he murmurs.  “You’re a special one, Kenobi.”  He stands.

“So you’ll get it to Rey?”

“I will.”

“Do you think General Organa will be okay with it?”

“I think she’ll be relieved to know it’s almost over.”

You nod, taking a deep breath in relief.  It’s almost over, you repeat to yourself.

“What’ll you do?”

You stand.  “You’ll need time to get everyone ready and get over to Exegol, right?”

He nods.

“I’m gonna buy you some time.”

His face falls as he mutters your name in disbelief, his head tilting slightly to one side.

“I’ll make sure the Order isn’t on your backs.  And if they are, like I said: I’ll buy you some time.  I’m kind of a big deal over there,” you joke half-heartedly.

He shakes his head.  “Are you sure?” he asks, concern saturating his tone.  He knows better than to try to stop you- not because you couldn’t be convinced otherwise, but because he knows damn well he’d try to pull the same card if he were in your shoes.  That was something the two of you undeniably had in common- the guts it takes to come up with big plans, and the iron will to try no matter how risky. 

“I’m sure,” you answer with a deep breath, “it’s the least I can do.”

He nods, reaching out to shake your hand.  You oblige, before he immediately pulls you into a proper hug.  “Just come back to us, okay?” he whispers.

“Only if you promise to come back too.”  You pull away just enough to look him in the eyes.

Poe lets out a breathy laugh.  “You’ve got a deal.”

With one final squeeze, you both let go.

Poe heads straight to his ship and you watch him take off.

You’re about to jump into your own ship when you pause for a moment.  Though you made a promise, you both knew it wasn’t one you were certain you could keep.  You decide that, just in case you don’t make it back to your new home- to your family- you want to get one last look at the place you grew up in.  Just a few minutes can’t hurt.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

He’s tearing through space in his TIE Whisper, combing through the galaxy using the force- though it isn’t helping as much as he had hoped.  He feels like he’s holding his hands straight out in front of him, reaching into darkness, feeling around blind, hoping that eventually his fingers will graze your shoulder just long enough for him to understand how he can reach you.  She’s close.  I can feel it.

He glances at the navigator and sees a familiar planet marked on the map.  He looks up, almost as if to confirm that this map isn’t lying to him too.  Coruscant is right there.  He thinks back to the tablet- to the tracker installed in his ship that you managed to remove.  He’s hesitant.  Would she really have come here?  Where I could so easily find her?  Is she leading me away from something else?  He debates diverting his path, feeling stuck between going after his latest lead and going after you.  If she is my way forward, he reasons, then I can have both.

Arriving at Coruscant, he sees a ship parked away from your home and lands next to it.  It felt odd to be back at this place- it’s been a while since he last visited.

With your first trip home, he used the tracker in your ship to pinpoint where your house was.  In between your visits home, he would stop by to search through your house, ensuring his own security.  Unfortunately, on one such visit, he ran into a woman dressed as a stormtrooper stocking up some food in your cupboards, her face red and stained with tears.  Even worse, he recognized her; she tried to replace him years ago.  He knew it would only be a matter of time before she turned you away from him, used you against him, or managed to do both.  He was quick to dispose of her.

He leaves his helmet in his ship and walks up to the doorway, in which the door was wide open.  For a moment, he worries that this is a trap, but the thought vanishes the moment he sees you.  You’re alone, humming to yourself as you stand in the center of the main area, looking around the space.  Again, he speaks your name into the silence.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You jump at the sound of a familiar voice calling to you, whipping around to see Kylo standing in the door.

“I was worried I’d never find you again,” he professes breathily as he rushes towards you, raising his arms to embrace you.

You step back, uncertain of what to say.

He stops while his brows stitch together upward in a pained expression of confusion, arms slowly returning to his sides.

“I don’t need you anymore,” you assert, finally finding your words.  “I found someone to restore my memory.  I just wanna be home now.”

“But you promised…” he trails off.

Your heart breaks as you watch his face.  He looks exhausted.  Desperate.  Lost.  You think of the resistance and the friends counting on you as they prepare for their hardest fight yet.  You think of what Luke had said to you when you first met: ‘You can guide him back.’

“I can’t do this without you,” he adds, his voice hovering just above a whisper.

Taking a deep breath, you nod.  “Okay…  But I won’t go back to the Finalizer-”

“You won’t have to,” he interjects, “I know where to go.  Just come with me.  Please.”  He offers his hand to you.

You take it, your motions stuttering for a moment as a wave of déjà vu hits you- you’ve seen this before too.  Maybe this is how the force reassures me that this is the right way, you wonder, by reminding me of those visions.

As your hands join, you both pause to take in the moment before moving on.  Kylo leads you out of your house and onto his personal ship.  He plugs in a new set of coordinates and takes off.

You’re both silent on the way over.  Kylo is focused on piloting the ship, eager to get wherever it is you’re going as fast as possible.  Meanwhile, you’re thinking about everything that suddenly seems to be happening at once, worried that you’re bound to let someone down.  Before you can worry about it any longer, you seem to arrive at the destination as Kylo lands his ship.

He steps out and offers his hand to help you step down onto the slippery surface of the wreckage, surrounded by raging sea.  The roaring waves seem to you like a physical manifestation of the dark chaos that surrounds this place.  In your mental periphery, whispers tease as your thoughts.  You brush them off, focusing on your footsteps.  One step at a time. Keep moving forward.

Kylo guides you through the wreckage of the destroyed spacecraft, eventually making it to the room in which the wayfinder was kept.  Your heart stops as you watch him pick up a pyramid made of stone and green glass.  There’s another one?  As he picks up the guiding device, admiring it, your heart continues to sink as you realize: not only is our deal over, but now the resistance is in danger.

He turns to you.

“Is that the wayfinder?” you ask, hoping he’ll buy into your clueless act.  Think, you plead with yourself.

He nods.

“So… what did you need me for?”

“We can move forward now- together,” he begins, closing the gap between the two of you.

You pause for a moment, trying to think of something to say, desperate for a course of action.  I can’t convince him to stop.  But I can’t let him have that wayfinder.  Suddenly, it dawns on you.

You hold your hand out in front of you.  “Can I hold it?” you ask, softening your tone as best as you can.

“You won’t be able to use it.  You don’t even understand-”

“I know, but… The Force gives me visions.  Sometimes it shows me the past, sometimes it guides me towards the future.”  You place a hand on his shoulder.  “I want to understand,” you whisper.

He nods, gently placing the object in your hands. 

You take a couple of steps back as you stare down at it.  Visions of Exegol flood your mind again- but this time, darkness grows as lightning erupts from below the surface up into the sky above.  Your eyes widen.  No, focus, you reprimand yourself. You look up at Kylo.  Without another word, you think of Luke and smile.

“What do you see?” He asks as his face begins to light up.

With as much strength as you can muster, you catapult the wayfinder through the massive broken window on your left.

Kylo’s gaze follows the object as it flies into the violent waves outside.  In an instant, curious eyes flip to rage.  He draws his saber.

Without a moment of hesitation, you draw both of your own sabers.

“First, I killed your father,” he growls, his volume rising as he walks around you in a circle, “then, I killed your friend-”

Vilya, you realize in horror, no!

“Don’t make me kill you too,” he yells, his threat echoing against the metallic walls surrounding you.

With a yell, you charge at him, lifting both sabers and bringing them down towards his head.

A clash rings out as his saber crashes into your own, blocking your attack.  Kylo pushes up and to the right, forcing your blades off of his own and bringing them downward.

As he attempts to swipe at your legs, you jump and twist around to swing towards his arm.

He spins out of your blade’s path as you land and jumps off the mass of shrapnel behind him, pushing his blade straight down towards your shoulder.

You roll out of the way and jump up as Kylo swings at you again, meeting his blade with one of yours.  You aim your other saber at his side, but he swings down to catch it with is.

With an angry yell he begins to swing wildly, moving towards you.  You start to walk backwards to maintain distance, catching his blade with one of yours at the end of every swing.

Making your way out of the room, you manage to find an opening and graze his side as you spin your saber around his arm.

He retracts for just a moment- just long enough for you to turn and run.

He chases you outside of the decaying construct, catching the back of your thigh with the tip of his saber. 

With a cry, you reflexively spin around with your blades pointed towards him.  Your foot nearly slips on the soaked metal you stand on, but you manage to catch yourself and use it to slide over to dodge another attack.

Kylo continues to push you backward as he swings at you with increasing speed and ferocity, his anger guiding his every move.  He lifts his saber over his head and forces it downward, meeting both of your sabers crossed over one another in a screaming clash. 

You struggle to keep the red saber away as he pushes down, forcing you onto your knees.

“After everything I did for you,” he spats through gritted teeth, “you destroyed our future.”

Just as your arms are about to give out, the pressure suddenly lifts and Kylo stares out blankly.

He hears his mother’s voice calling out to him. ‘Ben,’ she whispers.

In an instant, you realize this is your only chance to get out alive.  I promised.  You spin back up to your feet and bring your blade down on Kylo’s thigh. 

He feels that she’s fading, and a searing pain in his leg tears him away from her, and then she’s gone.  He drops to his knees with a cry. 

Before he can retaliate at all, you’re sprinting towards his ship.  He stands to chase after you, but as he turns, he sees his father, Han Solo, standing in the way.  Another wave crashes over him.  The water comes down, and with it, Han Solo is gone.

And you are flying away.

I can still buy them time.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

When Kylo finally gets back to the Finalizer, you are the only thing on his mind.  Finding you has never been more crucial to his life’s work.

However, the moment he arrives, he’s called to the throne room.  His search will have to wait- just for a while.  Soon.

Walking in, he kneels before Snoke, who briefly delivers the news.

Time suddenly moves differently as the words ring in his mind.  ‘She’s been sent for execution.  She is useless to us now- and only a distraction to you.  A weakness to be eliminated.’

Unbridled fury blinds him and commands his body to move.  Though his mind is far from him, his body is swift in its delivery of judgement.  It all seems to move past him in a blur.  She’s dead, he hears, over and over and over in his mind, screaming louder and louder. She’s dead.  My future is gone before I could even reach her.  She’s dead.

When his body finally stops, his chest heaving in labored breath, he looks around him to see bodies scattered across the floor.  Snoke’s legs still sit in his throne, but his torso lies on the ground beside it.  The blood of the praetorian guards riddles their already-red suits with dark crimson splotches. 

He’s killed his way through everyone that attempted to confuse him- to turn him from his destiny- and yet he’s never felt so lost.

But before he has another moment to think, someone else reaches out to him.

‘Kylo Ren,’ a familiar voice called out in his mind, ‘You are losing your way- straying from the legacy of your grandfather.  Join me.  Allow me to guide you again.’

“Okay,” Kylo whispers to himself.  He finally tears his eyes away from the slaughter he’s surrounded himself with and heads to his ship, on which a map through the Unknown Regions has been transmitted.  Ignoring the unfolding chaos around him, he takes off from the Finalizer’s hangar, headed for Exegol.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

As the troopers drag you away for execution, adrenaline slows time down to a crawl.  You think about everything that has seemed to go wrong since you made it to Chandrila, and how every decision- whether for better or worse- has brought you here.  You think about your father, the man you never got to meet again who died just the same way you’re about to.  It’s almost poetic.  Almost.

You think about the people you care about.  Vilya, who sacrificed her livelihood and her life for you.  Poe, whose promise you’d be breaking.  Kylo, who may never make it back to the light.  Finn and Rey, who trained with you and welcomed you into the family you never had.  Luke, who became like a father to you.  Obi-Wan, the man who believed in you despite the odds, and would now have to be let down.

Be with me, Grandfather, you think as the troopers bring you to your knees, the laser ax humming near your ear.

‘Bring balance back to the force,’ his voice replied urgently, ‘balance, padawan.’

You hear the whispers of the dark side teasing your mind again, and this time, you take its hand.  In one swift movement, you wrench from their grasp, turn around, and lift both troopers off the ground in a chokehold with the force.  The moment they fall unconscious, you dash to the hangar, taking the lesser-known hallways and shortcuts you've grown acquainted with to get there as fast as you can undetected.  When you arrive, you run to the closest ship and hop in, taking off the moment the ship starts running.  Though some troopers notice your sudden departure via an unauthorized ship, their blasts are powerless against your escape.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Arriving back to the resistance base, you’re surrounded by chaos.  Countless ships are beginning to take off, while many others are speeding around to gather their supplies and say just-in-case goodbyes and well wishes.  Looking for any familiar face, you find Finn handing off gear to some pilots.

“Finn!” You call out over the noise of the crowd, weaving through the bodies to reach him.

His head perks up at his name, and upon your arrival, he greets you.

“Have the others left yet?”

“Rey is already there.  I think Poe is on his way, but he’s still reaching out to our allies for help.”

You nod.  “What about General Organa?” you ask, realizing the normally hands-on general is nowhere to be seen.

Finn's face falls.  He glances to the pilots, who wear a similar expression, and they take the rest of the gear before promptly heading off to their respective ships. 

“She’s gone,” he says finally.

Your heart sinks.  I didn’t know…

“But we carry on,” he adds.  “In her honor, and in the name of everyone we've lost along the way.”  Finn puts his hands on your shoulders.  “We could use your help.”

“I’m no pilot-”

“No,” he interjects, shaking his head, “Help Rey.”

“I don’t know if I can-”

“You have to try,” he pleads.

His look of desperation takes you back.

“Someone has to try,” he reiterates.  “I’ve seen you train.  You’re the only one of us who can keep up with her, and I’m worried she can’t do it alone.”

“Okay,” you nod, “I’ll try.”

He pulls you in for a hug, whispering a ‘thank you’ beside your ear.

“I’ll see you later then,” you suppose.

“See you there,” he confirms as he takes off towards the base.

You get back into the ship you had taken from the Finalizer to find that Finn sent you the map they had retrieved from the wayfinder.  With a deep breath and a prayer to the force, you take off to Exegol.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Rey steps off of her ship and onto the ground of Exegol with Leia’s lightsaber in hand.  Before her stands- no, floats- what must be an old Sith temple just above the planet’s surface.  She looks up at the massive black structure as lightning strikes the ground nearby at random.  She moves forward, eventually finding a platform that begins to lower her underground.

She watches the statues surrounding her grow in height as the platform falls lower and lower until it finally stops.  She steps off and follows the guidance of the force as it leads her into the amphitheater that holds Darth Sidious, held by the Ommin Harness, and his throne.  She slowly walks up to Sidious, who greets his granddaughter with an all-too ominous sense of anticipation. 

With words he knows will sting, Sidious taunts her, insisting that her legacy is here.  Though a comment on her parents and a threat to her friends tempts her for a moment to give in, the force pulls her back as she realizes:  I’m not alone.

You’ve arrived- she can feel it. And you’re just in time.

She steps away, the hum of her drawn saber echoing in the massive room.

Sidious senses a shift and pulls back.  At the same time, the Sovereign Protectors make their way out of the shadows.

Rey brings her blade up with a smile.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Kylo lands beside an old X-Wing fighter when he arrives to the stormy planet.  The dark side is potent here, meaning that the light stands out all the more- and Rey is a crimson stain on a blanket of snow.  He doesn’t need to see her to know that she’s already here.  In his mind, though, it’s just one more person from a long line of people that must be eliminated.

“All these lives, just for control?” The voice of Han Solo beckons from behind, stopping Kylo in his tracks.

Kylo keeps his back to the ghost of his father.  “They’re sacrifices for the greater good.  Control can put an end to the suffering.”

“The suffering will never end, son.  It’s life.  And no matter how hard you try, you’ll always find more like me- people who want to really live.”

“I killed you!” Kylo bellows, fists clenching at his side. “What makes them any different?”

“Did you?” Han asks, taking steps towards his son.

Kylo stops.  For once, he’s wordless.

“No matter how hard we try to run, we always end up back home.  The sooner you accept that, the easier your life is gonna be, kid.”

“I have no home,” he laments, turning his head back just over his shoulder.

Then, Leia speaks: “Oh, that’s a terrible excuse.”

Finally, Kylo turns around to see his father and mother standing side by side, looking at him with nothing but compassion in their eyes.

“Pave a new path, Ben,” Leia beckons.

He takes a few long moments to think. 

“There’s so many choices,” he finally whispers.

“It never matters how many options there are,” she reassures him, “you’ll know which one is right.”

“But even the right path seems so dark now.”

“The light will find you,” Leia encourages.

“It always does,” Han adds.

His parents fade, and he turns to stare out to the horizon.  With a grunt, he throws his saber.  As it arcs in the air, a bolt of lightning strikes down, running through the lightsaber and reaching the ground.  The hilt cracks as it falls to the dead earth, the kyber crystal inside shattered into pieces.

No more.

“Ben?”

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

When you arrive to Exegol, you take comfort in the feeling of having been here before; it gives you more confidence in your ability to help Rey.  Landing near the massive black box that seems to float on the planet’s surface, you notice two other ships are already there.  You take your place in line with them and step out of your ship. 

Your eyes are immediately drawn to the man you had been running from for so long now.  He stands at a distance, his body half-facing you, and yet he seems to be staring off into nothing, taking no notice of your arrival.  You watch as he throws his lightsaber into the horizon, a lightning bolt catching it as it flies.

You hesitantly walk towards him, but as you approach, you realize something is off.  The man before you is not at all the man you had come to know, and at the same time, he has never seemed to be more himself.  Suddenly, you’re reminded of one of the first times you had seen into his mind, all those months ago: the visions of his mother longing for him to come home- the sound of her calling his name.  As you look to the man before you, only one name comes to mind; so, in a shaky voice, you call to him:

“Ben?”

He turns to you.  The light.  His mind takes a moment to process the sight in front of him. He runs to you.  Before you can embrace, he stops just short.  But what if she’s only a ghost, too; here to haunt me for my failure?

You sense his hesitation, his fear, and his aching heart.  You take his hand in both of yours.  “It’s me,” you affirm softly.

His shoulders relax as he lets out a shaky, thankful breath.  She’s alive.  Despite his moment of blissful victory, he is still left unsure of what to do or say next.

Something tells you he didn’t come here to help.  Yet, you know now that he can.  Together, you think. 

“I have to do this,” you finally say, your voice carrying a greater confidence than you were used to.

“I know,” he says softly.

“And you do too.”

He nods.  “Together.”

You remove your sabers from your belt and hold them out in front of you.  Your eyes linger on the saber in your left hand- Anakin’s saber.  The one Kylo unknowingly brought you to in Tatooine.  The one Luke gifted to you and trained you with.  The one that could bring balance to the force when carried with the other.  Looking back up at Ben, you hand him his grandfather’s lightsaber.

You both draw your grandfathers’ blades as the Knights of Ren suddenly surround you.  Clashing blades and strained yells and thuds of bodies ring out in a cacophony accompanied by the sound of thunder as you fight.  As blades once turned against each other return back to weapons meant to work together, you both feel the spirits of Obi-Wan and Anakin guide your minds and your blades to act as one.  Though fighting well, the Knights of Ren could not stop the power set in motion by the two of you.

It's as if the force is using you both to heal a wound neither caused.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Luke was first caught off guard by the smell of smoke, as if a giant bonfire had been started somewhere nearby.  It wasn’t until he saw the source of the smoke that he began to panic.

Running towards the old tree, he’s horrified to see flames engulfing the trunk.  As he begins to hopelessly attempt to put out the flames, he realizes Yoda has been standing there all along in his ghostly form.

“Help me!” Luke cries out in desperation.

“No need, there is.  Start the fire, I did.”

Luke stops as Yoda’s words sink in.  “You did what?”

“Time, it is.  Pave a new path, we must.  One of balance.  Set in motion, you must,” Yoda explains.

“But we could still use those!”

“Create something new, you cannot, if, cling to the old, you will.”

Though a little reluctant to admit it, Luke sees the truth of Yoda’s words, even if he disagreed with the drastic actions taken to underline them.  It was time to let go of the idea that there could only be one or the other- light or dark.  He could still leave a legacy, but it could be a better one; it could be dedicated to accepting the balance already within the force.

“So how do we start?”

“Your nephew- needs you, he does.  To Exegol, you must go.  Made right, wrongs will be.”

Luke wonders if perhaps the force will make a way for him, so he could still help guide his nephew; perhaps he didn’t fail Ben completely.  Maybe he could help his latest padawans, too.  But there’s only one way to know.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You and Ben manage to finish off the Knights of Ren and make it down to the throne room of the Sith Citadel by the time Rey defeats the last of the Sovereign Protectors.

As Rey steadies herself again, the three of you line up and ready your blades.  For a moment, with the each of you giving it your all, it seems you just manage to counter every move Sidious can throw at you.  We have a chance of winning this.  However, after only a few moments of vicious back-and-forth attacks, Sidious forces the three of you backward.

Holding Rey and Ben back with the lightning that streaks from his hand, Sidious force chokes you, lifting you up and towards him.  “Give into your pain,” he growls at you. 

He then turns to Ben.  “Your anger made you stronger,” he taunts.  He throws you off to the side, your back slamming into the stone wall surrounding you. 

Using the force, he holds you there, a few meters off the ground.  “And you cannot save them all,” he cackles to Rey as the ceiling of the Citadel splits open.

Hanging above you are hundreds and hundreds of ships flying amidst a massive Sith fleet.  Canon blasts riddle the sky as the ships all fire at each other.  Suddenly, a gigantic bolt of lightning arcs up into the sky, splitting into hundreds of small branches, each attaching to a resistance ship.

As the lightning shoots upward, Sidious slams you to the ground.

You hear both Rey and Ben yell as you hit the ground with a thud and blackout.

When you come back to consciousness, you look up to see Luke standing a few yards away from Sidious.  Casting out from his hands is a cluster of lightning, aimed directly for Luke.

Luke’s eyes are set on Sidious, his determination made clear in his expression.  On the other side of the bolts of lightning are Luke’s hands, catching the lightning and pushing it backward.

Sidious laughs as Luke begins to slide backwards due to the force of the attack he’s holding back.

Blueish spheres of energy begin to build in front of Luke’s palms as he finally holds his ground and begins to take steps towards Sidious.

Sidious’ expression shifts to concern as Luke overtakes the power used against him and harnesses it.

With a shout, Luke pushes the energy he had channeled back to Sidious, and suddenly the lightning bolt branching out in the air above disappears as Sidious is forced backwards.  Cracking and crashing sounds ring out as the harness holding Sidious up and keeping him alive breaks down, some pieces falling to the ground.

Luke flies backwards from the resulting explosion, landing hundreds of feet away from the fight.

Ben jumps up with his saber, set to fly down on Sidious and split him in half, but he’s stopped just inches before his blade can touch the Sith.  His saber falls to the ground as he’s held in the air.

You finally manage to get to your feet and run to Luke, but before you can make it even halfway to him, you’re suddenly being dragged backwards towards Sidious.

In just a few moments, You and Ben have been forced to your knees side by side.  You watch helplessly as beams of whispering, swirling light are drawn out for your chest and his.  You feel the force cry out as you become increasingly weaker.  Your body fights to get into overdrive as death draws near, but to no avail.

A sick laughter echoes in the chamber as Sidious watches his decomposing body come back to life, sapping the power of a dyad.

Suddenly, the pressure holding you and Ben up relieves and you both drop.

Rey stands between you, two sabers clutched in her hands.

Another arc of lightning crackles over your head, which Rey catches and pushes back with Obi-Wan’s saber.

“I,” Sidious bellows, his voice ringing out in the room and in your minds as you struggle to stay awake, “am all the Sith.”

Rey begins to push forward.  As she passes you, you can hear the voices of countless people whispering.  This time, the whispers aren’t dark, hissing threats.  Instead, light seems to glow around her as the whispers make her stronger.

“And I,” she answers through gritted teeth, drawing Anakin’s saber and crossing the blade over Obi-Wan’s, “am all the Jedi.”

She reaches the steps of Sidious’ decayed throne and forces the lightning back onto him. 

His flesh begins to rip and tear away from his bones.  He cries out in agony as his power, his throne, and his life are finally ripped away from him for the last time until there is nothing left.

The moment he’s gone, you glance up at the skies to see the Sith ships explode as the resistance ships- now recovered and revitalized with hope- destroy everything that’s left.

You smile weakly, looking back to Ben to make note of the victory, but he’s no longer there.

He sits beside Rey, who lies limp on the ground.

You manage to crawl over to her.

“Do something,” he pleads to you.

I’m the healer.  I should be able to do something.  You look down and gingerly take Rey’s body from Ben’s hands.  As you hold her, though, you sense that she is too far gone for any tincture or medicine.

“Give her to me,” Luke instructs softly as he kneels down next to you.

You look up at him hesitantly as you shift Rey from your lap into his.

“It’s time we bring an end to the Jedi, too,” he begins, looking between you and Ben as he holds Rey, one hand cradling her head while one rests on her stomach.  “One extreme will always foster the growth of the other.  Forge a new way.”

You nod, and though you don’t understand why, something churns in your stomach telling you that this is goodbye.

Ben nods, and it seems he understands more than you do.  “Thank you,” he whispers, his eyes sparkling as they well up.  A tear gently rolls down his cheek in silence.

With a soft smile, Luke closes his eyes and calls out to the force one last time.  He takes a deep breath.

Rey’s breathing grows stronger as color comes back to her body.  She looks over to you, then to Ben, then to Luke.

You smile at the sight of Rey sitting up, her strength renewed.

She turns to Luke to thank him, but before the words make it out, Luke disappears.

You blink a few times as you look down to see his robes left behind in his place.

Rey turns back to you both with a grin, sharing a knowing look.

Though he’s gone, you realize you can still sense his presence, and you finally understand.

Without wasting another moment, you pull Rey and Ben into an embrace.  You all let out a breathy, almost incredulous laugh.  We did it.  We won.

You all help each other onto your feet and stand.  Rey gathers the robes of her mentor and calls the stray sabers to her hands.  You and Ben take your sabers back from Rey and look up to the skies. 

Though the ships are no longer firing, and most are still, you can almost hear their cheers from down here.  One by one, the resistance and their allies begin to take off, heading back to wherever they came from.

The three of you silently return to your ships.  Rey gets into hers first.

“I’ll meet you there,” you promise.

She nods, thanking the both of you one last time, and takes off to return to the resistance base.

You watch her leave before looking back down at Ben, who can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. 

He closes the gap between you and wraps his arms around you in a strong embrace.

You return the affection without a moment of hesitation.

While you’re holding each other, it feels as if something has finally finished; as if a chapter is closed- one that you both-and the force itself- were waiting for all along.

You let go just enough to see Ben’s face and, with as much courage as you have left, kiss him.

When you finally pull away from each other, you both wear a bright smile.

“I need to return to my friends,” you finally say.

“Go,” he encourages, walking backwards to his ship.

“Where will I find you?”

“I’ll be home.”

You laugh as you watch him take off.  You know he means your home, in Coruscant- but, you do like the idea of sharing it with him.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• 

Arriving back to the resistance base, you struggle to find a place to land among the scattered ships that were hastily parked and the masses of people celebrating the final victory.  Eventually, you do find a place to comfortably park your ship.

Although you’re exhausted from the insane day you had just endured, you’re also antsy to see your friends again.  You wander through the clusters of people, scanning for anyone you recognize.  You realize trying to ask anyone for direction would be hopeless- not just because they would have no real answer, but also because they’re caught up in their own moments.  Finally, your eyes land on Rey and Finn, locked in a tight embrace. 

You jog over to them and see a weary looking Poe approaching the couple.  You run straight to him, nearly toppling him over in a hug.  He lets out an easy laugh.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“For what?”

“For keeping your promise.”

“Only because you kept yours,” he answers, relief clear in his voice. 

You lightly peck his cheek and pull away.

He gives you a wink before Finn barges in and hugs Poe, the two of them laughing.  You turn to Rey and the two of you embrace again, your laughter joining the cacophony of jubilation that surrounds you all.

It’s over.  You all won.  And you can change the future for the better.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• 

After some retellings of the battles you each fought and making plans to meet up again to discuss the journey that now lies before you all, you decide it’s time to head back home.  You start making your way back to your ship to see Luke leaning against it, grinning as he waves at you.  Beside him is Obi-Wan, arms crossed, watching with a smile.  The two of them, though appearing to you clear as day, seem to be somewhat translucent.  You stop in your tracks.

“Thank you,” you whisper to them, “for everything.”

With a wink from one and a nod from the other, they fade away.

You get back to your ship and arrive at Coruscant to see Ben standing outside, leaning against the doorway of your home as he watches the sunset.  When you reach him, he lifts and spins you in another hug, setting you back down with a kiss.  There is so much to say, but for now, it will have to wait.

The two of you head inside to celebrate, rest, and dream about the future you will create together.

(Epilogue)

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x fem!reader #kylo ren x OC!reader #fem!reader #OC!reader #female reader #original character #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren self insert #star wars self insert #star wars sequel trilogy self insert #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren fanfics #kylo ren fanfictions #kylo x reader #x reader #self insert fanfiction #self insert fanfic #self insert #kylo #star wars #reader insert #touch #touch chatper 7 #touch: chapter 7 #touch: chapter 7 #touch part 7 #touch (part 7) #star wars series

[manawari]

Girl, girl, we assumed "Wildest Dreams" to be Jinhae's anthem, but what about other ships? 👀 Any thoughts on which songs would fit them?

Hey! Do you know there's another song that can be Jinhae's anthem? Not Letting Go — You caught me at the end of all my rope. Show me all the light I'd never known. And I'm not letting, not letting go. Every wall I built for years you broke. Black and white world, you're a whole rainbow. And I'm not letting, not letting go~

And for other ships? Hmm, I have some ideas—

Choibaek:

"Strawberries And Cigarettes" by Troye Sivan → this is just a personal choice of mine. Particularly because of the "cigarettes" part which is associated with Jong-in a lot. And also, part of this song is a fic I will never get to write 😅. Plus, it's the whole ✨ vibe ✨ — Yoon-ho smelling strawberries and cigarettes in his suit after being in a car alone with Jong-in to release some pent up stress from work. Them realizing that they're more than just rivals, yet don't know how to act on it until they almost kiss, leaving Yoon-ho pray to give his heart a holiday. Plus, I'm a firm believer of Choibaek pining over each other intensely:>

"Taste" by Stray Kids → I BLAME STORM ON THIS ONE. She posted a video for the Solo Leveling Boyband AU, and since then, I can't imagine Choibaek having the same tension as this song has. Jong-in is literally a fire mage, don't you think he can make anything he touches hot?

"Don't let me love you" by Stray Kids → Storm sent me this when we were brainrotting about the Choibaek exes AU. I can imagine both Jong-in and Yoon-ho being in denial of their feelings because they're still stuck in the mindset of their rivalry and how much they hate each other.

Minlee:

"Enchanted" by Taylor Swift → this is technically my go-to Minlee anthem. Minlee is what I call "beautiful what-if" — two souls with shattered pasts had been brought together and healers who learned to heal each other. Romance between hunters is amazing and cool and breathtaking, but a romance between healers? It's like you're stepping into a shrine and you hear a distant echo of someone singing. I forever live with the fact that both Ju-hee and Byung-gyu will feel "enchanted" of meeting each other — can you imagine meeting someone who mirrors your soul and understands the pain you've gone through? Someone who won't let you break down again? Someone who won't make you worry?

Woozhi:

"Taste" by Stray Kids → need me to elaborate?

"Midnight Rain" by Taylor Swift → ZHIGANG IS SUNSHINE JIN-CHUL IS MIDNIGHT RAIN—

Sungyoo:

I can't remember a lot of songs that share the same vibe as Jin-ho and Jin-ah. Though, I imagine songs that are similar to "Paper Rings" — cute, sweet, fit for youthful romances like Jin-ah and Jin-ho.

Sungpark:

"Betelgeuse" by Yuuri → I'm not going to place the entire translated lyrics, otherwise the post would be too long than it should haha! Anyways, one of the stanzas that fit Ill-hwan and Kyung-hye: "we found each other, pulled towards each other, under the same sky. When we shine, we'll do it together, so we promised. Far and away, a never-ending Betelgeuse. Magic that connects one to another." — I don't think this needs to be elaborated either:')

Heeseok:

Yes. I can't get enough of this couple now! The more I think of Eun-seok, the more canon he feels. He's not some forgotten SL character to me anymore. Pairing him with Hee-jin just came out of the blue, but it's not like I'll be sorry when they already stole my heart from brainrots!

"Can't Stop Loving You" by Toya Takase (ft. Emi Noda) → fun fact: this is the song I used for inspiration in my 1st Heeseok fic under the same title. It gives me the idea that regardless of whatever Eun-seok is, Hee-jin can't bring herself to stop loving him, especially when he's still that cute gentle and kind hunter in spite of his flaws. You might not understand the whole lyrics, but you can feel the main point of the song, as well in the title:).

#manawari talks

[danceswithsporks]

Calm Part- 7

Parts 1 2 3 4 5 6

Part 2 of 6 in the Complete Series

Wrecker x Seamstress!Reader

Chapter Summary: as the two of you continue to work through your fears big steps are taken and precious words are shared.

Authors Note: woo! 3 days after my vacation ended and this part is already ready!! For those of you who read the preview for this story you’ll notice that the same section has made its appearance. It has been changed a little though so try not to skip straight through it! Also, after looking through my outline for this story it looks like we’re roughly three more updates away from the end!! I may try to squeeze a fourth update in but I’m not positive yet.

Now without further ramblings! Let’s jump into Part 7!

Calm, life on Pabu had returned to its almost Calm existence once more. Over the past two months, your little family had begun to heal. The nightmares that had plagued the both of them had become more and more infrequent and you could see the happiness slowly returning to Omega. You knew it wasn’t solely because of you.

Chai had settled on a planet that the boys had visited multiple times, Ord Mantell. With that, a steady delivery of something called Mantell Mix had begun. It was apparently Omega's favorite snack, as well as Wreckers. Phee hypothesized that the return of the girl's favorite snack was helping to give a sense of normalcy to her once more. You were inclined to agree.

A month after she’d left, Chai had sent her first package which had been exciting for all three of you. It was like they could both smell the treat from inside the crate, having been informed by you that it was all they talked about. Within you’d found a few tins of tea, a flier for the new shop Chai had opened with Phee, and some beautiful black and red shimmered Naboo silk. There was even a letter detailing how she missed you and the cool ocean breeze. It reminded you of your final days in school when you’d pass notes to one another. Sure you saw each other all the time, just as you now holo-videoed once a week, but it had been nice to not rely solely on technology to communicate. You’d sent your letter back to her with a warm cloak for her to wrap up in. Chai had mentioned how cold Ord Mantell could get and Omega had agreed. That same week Wrecker had left on the supply run for the first time in three months.

It had been one of the hardest moments for you to date. The worry and stress that had coursed through your body as you watched the Marauder leave the planet had made you feel as though ice water had been dumped on you. You felt ridiculous thinking that he would never leave again, but you’d found yourself hoping that he never would. That he’d just stay planetside for the rest of his life with you. But that wasn’t him, that wasn’t Wrecker. That wasn’t the clone you’d fallen in love with. Wrecker was a soldier, a man who helped those in need and traveled through the stars. The only thing that had stopped you from completely breaking down as the ship vanished into the clouds, was Omega. After the events of Tantiss, it had been decided by all of you that Omega was not leaving the planet again for a long time. The girl, surprisingly, had agreed.

Where you had been her rock for the last two months, she was now your rock for the few days Wrecker was gone. Four days. That’s how long he’d been gone. It was ridiculous how stressed you found yourself during that time but after the sudden loss of Tech, you worried that you’d suddenly lose Wrecker. Omega, being the sweetheart she was, spent those four days telling you silly stories about all of the boys. Apparently Wrecker, on one of their many adventures, had gotten his arm stuck in a small opening that ended up being the den of some Ollopoms. Wrecker had seen the pretty white, yellow, and pink of the small rodent and thought it was a flower. It had taken Hunter and Omega an hour to dig his arm out and by the time it was free, three baby Ollopoms had nested in his large hand. The image made you giggle. A victory for Omega.

By the time Wrecker had returned, a bundle of gorgeous exotic flowers in his arms for you, you hadn’t felt as stressed out about him leaving. Of course, you did waylay him for an entire day in your bedroom the moment he stepped through the doorway. Omega thought you were sick and he was taking care of you. You technically had been sick, sick from a lack of Wrecker inside of you. That sweet man of yours had given you the medicine you needed to feel better many, many, many times. Sure you hadn’t been able to walk properly the next day, but it was so worth it.

Over the past two months, the two of you had continued to work on your fears together. You’d been able to handle being on the Marauder while her engines purred around you and he’d been brave enough to sit on the wall with his feet dangling over the edge. It wasn’t a lot and definitely not a breakthrough for either of you, but it was a start.

One night, two weeks ago, Wrecker had mentioned that Chai had sounded homesick during your last call and that maybe she’d enjoy some company from home. The idea of being on the Marauder off the ground had made your heart begin to race. He’d taken your hand in his and kissed the back of it sweetly. “It was just a thought.” Came as a gentle whisper from him while he stroked your arm carefully.

“It’s not that I don’t want to visit her. It’s just…” your words had been stopped as he placed a finger against your lips.

“I know.” He’d kissed the corner of your lip sweetly before falling into silence. After a few quiet moments, he’d cleared his throat. “How about…we make a deal?” You shifted against him before looking up at him and raising your eyebrow.

“What did you have in mind?” Wrecker had given you an interesting look before speaking.

“How about we go visit that waterfall you were telling me about a few weeks ago?” He’d watched as you tilted your head in surprise.

“That’s at least a three-hour boat ride from here, on a different island.” Where was he going with this?

“With the Marauder it’s only thirty minutes.” You’d noticeably swallowed at the mention of the ship. “Would give us more time to enjoy the area.”

Your throat had tightened as you realized what he was hinting at. “You w-want to fly there?”

Wrecker nodded carefully before continuing. “We fly there and then we can jump off the falls, like you used to when you were younger.”

Wait, he wanted to jump off the waterfall? “Wrecker, that’s almost sixty feet. Are you sure?” You’d watched as he chewed his lip at the new information before he nodded quickly. If he was willing to brave a sixty-foot jump for you then surely you could brave flying in the ship to the island. Right?

You were now asking yourself that question once more while you stared at the ramp of the ship. You’d been on the ship countless times now. Wrecker took every opportunity to bring you here for meals or late-night walks, as well as other activities. Trying to get you as comfortable as possible with the ship. You knew every part of the ship inside and out now, as well as how comfortable each bunk was. You preferred his bunk the most. Many times now he’d even had the engines running to get you used to the sound. But never had the ship flown with you in it. That thought was now stopping you in your tracks.

Wrecker walked by you with the picnic you’d packed in hand as well as some other supplies, his eyes taking in the way you hesitated. “We can go home if this is too much too soon.” He spoke sweetly from the doorway. Inside Gonky could be heard saying something and walking around. Apparently, he needed to come with you.

“No.” The word left you quicker than you expected. You

Could do this. This was what you’d been building up to these past two months. You facing your fear would help Wrecker face his. “I want to do this. With you.” You watched as Wrecker smirked and vanished into the ship for a moment before returning to you. He proudly walked down the ramp, wrapped his arm around your waist, and kissed you deeply. Your head spun as you felt his pride for how brave you were being course through him and into you.

He could feel the little shakes your body was doing as the fear tried to take hold. He deepened the kiss while gripping you tightly, sure enough, your legs went weak and you stumbled slightly. A hum of approval left the large clone as he felt the shakes slow. “That’s right, that’s my good girl.”

Stars, Wrecker knew exactly what to say to distract your mind. You whined against him as his words of praise danced through your head making you forget why you were even so scared. You were his good girl, his brave girl. He’d shower you with all the praise in the galaxy if you did this. Something he always made sure to do after each time you stepped onto the ship. “L-let’s go.” The sooner you did this the sooner he’d say it again and that magnificent feeling would be coursing through your body once more.

Wrecker playfully tapped the tip of your nose and motioned for you to lead the way. “That’s my girl.” Your perfect eyes fluttered for a moment before stumbling up the ramp and into the ship. Yeah, he’d figured you out quickly. He’d said it by accident the third time you’d visited the ship and the way your eyes had fluttered and you’d stuttered slightly let him know that you enjoyed it. He’d made sure not to overuse it either, only when it came to facing your fear did he use it and damn did it work every time. Your shared sex life had been flared to life by the work you two were doing for one another. Something about the race of your hearts as you faced your respective fears just seemed to fire you both up.

He watched the way your hips swayed in that short dress of yours. Something black and red caught his eye for a moment before you disappeared into the ship. By the time he’d finished all the checks on the ship and returned to pick you up for your date, you’d already gotten dressed and packed your meal. Now he wondered what exactly was beneath the cute green with tan lace sundress you wore. Wrecker followed quickly behind you and into the cockpit of the Marauder. You nervously sat in one of the passenger seats behind the pilot's chair with your knee bouncing nervously. He stopped next to you and kissed your cheek sweetly before sinking into the pilot's seat.

Every nerve in your body was alive at the moment. You felt every bump, thump, and shift as the ship creaked and began its take-off procedures. The door seemed to hiss closed even louder than it had a few days ago and you watched it carefully. The ship hummed beneath your feet and you swore you could feel it all. Was this how Hunter felt? Did he experience everything the ship did more intensely than the others? Stars, if that was the case then you really felt bad for him.

“You’re doing great, my good girl.”

Oh, there were those words again. You looked towards him instead of at the door and found his hand reaching back to you. Leaning forward, you gripped the warm strong hand tightly and in one swift pull you were on your feet and staggering towards him. Oh, he wanted you next to him, a large lump formed in your throat, near the front of the ship. Your body tingled as the ship hummed louder, no doubt moments from leaving the safety of the ground. Shaky legs carried you to the copilot seat next to him here you took a long breath while staring out the window. Even just being in the cockpit made you feel like you were incredibly high up. The ground just below the ship was impossible to see thanks to the nose of the Marauder. All you could see was the island far below you. He asked a gentle ‘Ready’ while squeezing your hand once more and you felt your heart jump at the realization that you were seconds away from takeoff. “R-ready.”

He nodded to you and then you felt it. A long-forgotten feeling of a ship hovering over the ground. More emotions than you could count hit you all at once. Delight, excitement, nervousness, fear, and most surprisingly…longing. A surprising part of you had missed this feeling. The way the ship hummed all around you and swayed side to side as it prepared to dash into space. As a child you’d adored this feeling, knowing it meant you were off on another adventure. This feeling and the jump to hyperspace had been the feelings you’d adored as a child. It's why you’d loved being on a ship in the first place.

Wrecker's eye flickered to you for a moment as the ship hovered over the cobblestone courtyard. He took in every little detail on your face at that moment. The way your eyes went wide with a mix of worry and wonder, how you chewed your lip nervously, and how your hand was blindly reaching out for him while your eyes stayed locked on the windshield. A small beep left the console as the ship indicated you were now high enough away from the ground to continue. A part of him wanted to take this slow and build up to speed slowly but there was something in your eyes, something in them was telling him to punch it. It would be a gamble to do so. He’d either terrify you to the point where you wanted to go home or…

The ship took off like a rocket making a loud squeal of delight leave your lips. This! This feeling! The last time you’d felt this feeling was the day your parents died. Oh, how you’d forgotten this feeling! The adrenaline coursed through your veins as you shot through the sky, buildings, and scenery rushing past you in a blur while the amazing power of the ship pushed you into your seat.

The squeal made Wrecker smile as he shot away from Pabu and towards the island, you’d told him about. He’d hoped that this would be your reaction. That you’d allow that delight you’d felt as a child to return to you and replace the fear that gnawed at you. He wouldn’t leave the atmosphere, no you weren’t ready for that much yet. But this was a big step and a good start. His thick fingers tapped the console a few times turning on the autopilot before swiveling his seat to face you. With a gentle tug, you were pulled from your seat and the daze you were in and into his lap. Your legs straddled his while your perfect eyes stared into his one good eye. “I’m proud of you, my brave girl.”

You’d been so lost in the magnificent feeling of the ship racing through the skies of your homeworld that you hadn’t realized you’d been pulled into his lap until he spoke and said those special words. ‘Brave girl’ now those were the words that completely undid you. He only ever said them after you’d completed whatever part of the fear you were facing. Just like every time before it sent a shiver down your spine and a heat to your core. “Y-yes. I did it.” His large hand held your cheek gently as a thumb stroked the delicate skin beneath your eye.

He watched your eyes flutter before he leaned forward and kissed you proudly. “How are you feeling?”

“G-good. Nervous still.” That feeling was being overridden by the desire for him growing within you. But it was still there, waiting for just the wrong thing to happen to allow it to shoot to the forefront of your mind. All it would take was some turbulence or strong headwinds to knock you off balance and out of whatever bliss-filled headspace you were in.

“That’s okay. Can’t expect it to go away the first time. Maybe I should bring my good girl on more trips around the planet? Would you like that, sarad?” He stroked the side of your face gently with the back of his forefinger while he spoke. Admiring the way you put so much faith and trust into him.

“Yes.” If only to hear him call you his ‘good girl’ and his ‘brave girl’. Maybe there was some kind of psychological reason as to why you enjoyed being called a good girl but you didn’t care to find out. “Will you…” you chewed your lip and thought about your next words. His mind-spinning pet names for you had done a number on you. Them plus the adrenaline coursing through your veins had worked you up. “Let me ride in your lap next time?”

His other hand dropped to your hip and squeezed gently. “Why not right now? Since you’re already here?” Shifting in his seat, his growing bulge rubbed against the heat between your legs making a little mewl leave your lips. The scent of your perfume wafted through his nose, jasmine, and vanilla, as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. An airy breath left your lips while his danced across your skin. Your thighs tightened against his making him squirm beneath you, drawing yet another mewl from you. “Ya like that idea, don’t ya?” His lips dragged across the lobe of your ear. “Maybe next time” he whispered in a deep gruff voice. “You can have my cock in ya.”

“Fuck” The word had left you before you could even think, a dark chuckle leaving him as he nipped at your ear. The way he seemed to become a different man when it came to being on the ship with you was just so incredible. He became so dominating and demanding. You’d made love on all of his siblings' bunks first before even being in his. All because he’d demanded to see you come undone on each one. He wanted your scent everywhere to torture Hunter while making sure Echo and Crosshair could see their beds in a tangled mess and know that the two of you had been there. Wrecker adored his brothers, his Vod as he called them, more than most could say about their siblings. But when it came to you being on the ship with him? Stars, he became insatiable. You couldn’t get enough of it.

Wrecker dipped his hand beneath your dress and pressed it against your needy core. Even through the material of your swimsuit, he could feel your growing dampness. Your hips ground against his lap making him groan followed by another chuckle. “Now now, gotta make sure we get there safe.” A cute little needy whine left you as he spoke. “Don’t worry. You’ll have my cock in ya soon enough, sarad.” He’d make sure you did by the end of the day. He felt you shift in his lap preparing to get off of him. With a smirk, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer. “For now, how about you let me taste what you had for breakfast?”

Your cheeks heated up at his request. Wrecker's tongue in your mouth was right up there with his tongue against your clit. “Want me to tell you first?” You licked your lips in anticipation of his against them.

“Nah, I like guessing.” He pressed his lips against yours and was instantly granted access. A smirk crossed his lips as he continued to kiss you. Chocolate and strawberries. His favorite.

-*-

You felt the excitement building as you cleared the final step of the mountain and spotted the diving point you’d climbed up to. Over that edge was a sixty-foot drop into crystal clear lavender water. The large pool of water in front of you that fed the falls glowed in a soft purple hue. The smell alone was enough to calm you in a way you adored. Turning behind you, you smiled at the large clone carrying the picnic basket and blanket.

“You brought the rope and that ascender thing, right?” A smile rested on your lips as you watched Wrecker place the basket down and pull out said items. “Perfect, there’s a good tree to tie it to over here.”

Wrecker watched as you walked towards the edge of the waterfall and looked over carefully. Something inside him tightened as he watched you kick a small rock over the edge followed by a whistle of surprise. “You should back up.” Left his lips before he could stop it. He’d agreed to this. He told you he could do this and he would. But seeing you like that, so close to falling over. It didn’t sit well with him. It was one thing being on the stone wall of your courtyard overlooking the island. But this? This was unpredictable, unsafe. The ground beneath your feet could easily give way and you could topple over.

A small laugh left you as you backed away from the edge. “Don’t worry. I was just making sure nothing changed.” Smiling, you turned and looked at the big teddy bear behind you. Your smile dropped as you took in the worried look on his face. You could see that his mind was beginning to get away from him. “Hey.” Moving quickly, you returned to his side and took the rope from him, dropping it to the ground. “We don’t have to do this. We can just enjoy a nice picnic up here and wade in the water. The pool was shallow enough at one end that you wouldn’t be swept away by the current.

He felt your warm hands in his but his mind couldn’t seem to focus on your words. It was as if his mind had switched to protection mode and all he wanted to do was keep you close. It took you saying his name three more times for him to refocus. “W-what?”

“I said we didn’t have to do this…and that you’re squeezing my wrists a little too tight.” Instantly his hand released you and he took a step back. You could tell he was fighting those thoughts again. “Wrecker, my bear. Everything is ok, I am ok. You are ok.” You took a careful step towards him and slowly slid your hands back into his.

He wasn’t sure how you managed to always find a way to recenter him, but you did. “I’m sorry, goddess.” Carefully he lifted your hands and placed gentle kisses on each of your wrists. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. We knew this wouldn’t be easy.” A hum came from you as you felt his gentle lips against your skin. “Now, let’s eat some lunch.” Stepping forward you placed your chest against him and tilted your head up. “Relax in the water and you can admire my new bikini.”

Wrecker shivered at the feeling of your fingers moving under the back of his shirt and slowly up his spine. “N-new bikini?” He remembered the flash of black and red that he’d seen earlier. Something told him already that he’d enjoy how it looked.

With a smirk, you nodded and took a step back. “My aunt on Coruscant sent it. She said it’s the latest fashion.” Reaching up to your neck, you undid the knot on the top of your dress and allowed the green and cream material to slide down to the ground with the help of a little wiggle. Wrecker's eyes widened as he took in the swimsuit and you knew his mind was officially on you. “Do you like it?”

The black fabric shimmered with red crystals as you turned slowly for him. The fabric crisscrossed on the front and wound tightly around your neck before moving under your breasts where the bottom part showed a daring amount of skin. Two more strips of black fabric crossed from the top of your ribs, across the front, and down to your hips connecting with the bottoms that accentuated your ass beautifully. A shaky breath left Wrecker as he watched you bend over and pick up your dress. “L-love it.”

Looking over your shoulder, you smirked. “Good. Now.” Turning you walked to the picnic basket and placed your dress down before looking for the blanket. “I packed sandwiches and dessert. Which would you like first?”

There was only one dessert Wrecker wanted to have and it wasn’t whatever you had in the basket. He moved faster than he intended and was soon behind you. Slowly his hands snaked around your waist and he pulled you close. Memories of your make-out session on the Marauder an hour ago resurfaced and spurred him on.

“Oh.” You giggled as you stood and placed your back against his broad chest. “Or we can have dessert now and dessert later.” Reaching a hand up, you placed it against his cheek and pulled his face into the crook of your neck. “What would my big bear like?”

Stars, he wanted to rip this bikini off of you and take you now instead of later. Bury himself in your warmth and enjoy the safety and grounding that only you could give him. “Whatever you prefer, my goddess.”

A shiver ran down your spine and you fought the urge to give in to him. “Well we did climb up here to enjoy the lavender water, so let’s relax in this lovely pool with some wine and maybe..” with a final wiggle of your ass, you stepped away. “I’ll let you enjoy some desert in the water.”

“I…” Wrecker had always wanted to fuck in a pool like this. He was a simple man with simple desires. He watched as you took your boots off and moved towards the shallow end of the water and away from the waterfall. The waterfall that you’d planned your entire trip around. That he’d made a deal with you about. “I want to enjoy the falls.. as we planned.”

“What?” You turned and looked at your clone in surprise. Yes, you’d made a deal that you’d ride in the Marauder and he’d jump from the falls. But you had zero intention of holding him to it. “You don’t have to do that, Wrecker. We can build up to it. There’s no rush.” You could easily come back another day, especially if that meant riding in the Marauder with him inside of you like he wanted.

Wrecker shook his head as he bent down and picked up the rope. “I want to enjoy what you enjoy. If that means jumping from super high up and into the water below.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Then let’s do it.” A small smile crept on your face and that alone gave him the courage to go through with this. If you could ride in the Marauder for him then he could do this.

“Ok. I’ll go first and you follow me?” Quickly you packed everything back into the basket before grabbing the rope. “You can lower the basket to me once I’m down there?” Then you could enjoy your date at the base of the falls instead. Maybe screw under the falls themselves? It was a promising idea. You knew from experience that there was a small alcove behind the falls.

“No.” Wrecker helped you tie the rope to the large tree before tying the other end to the basket. “I-I’ll go first.” He removed his boots and pants quickly, trying to get the jump out of the way before he chickened out.

You cooed at him playfully before stepping over and placing your hand on his chest. “I know where to jump. Follow my lead.”

Wrecker grabbed your wrist and stopped you before you could head to the edge. “W-what if I chicken out?”

“You won’t.” With a smirk, you stepped back to him and stood on the tips of your toes. “Because I’ll be waiting for you at the bottom. Naked.” Placing a quick kiss on his stunned face, you turned and sprinted for the edge. With a happy squeal, you dove off the edge and into the waters below.

“Mesh’la!” Wrecker ran to the edge and looked down, terrified that he’d see your mangled corpse against the rocks.

A few moments went by before you finally broke through the surface, a large smile on your face. You adored the rush you got when cliff diving. Looking up, you waved to Wrecker who tentatively waved back. The worry and fear were easy to see on his face. Keeping your word you unclamped the top of your bathing suit and shimmied out of it. A happy smile rested on your lips as you held the piece of clothing up for him to see.

He didn’t need you to show him your bikini. The water was crystal clear and he could easily see your nude body wading in the deep water. The desire to have that against his skin overpowered the fear inside him. With a toss of the basket over the edge, Wrecker jumped as well.

A loud splash echoed around the waterfall as he made contact with the water, his large body causing the water to ripple and push you toward the edge. A giggle left you as you swam towards him. Even before his head broke through the surface, his arms were around your waist and pulling you into him. “Wrecker!” You gasped as he finally broke the surface and pulled you into a tight hug, his lips pressed firmly against yours. His kisses always made your head spin. With a hum of delight, you wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. “I’m so proud of you.” Came as a whisper as your forehead rested against his. Below the water, one of his hands held your thigh tightly while the other helped you two wade.

Wrecker moved his head and buried it into the crook of your neck as you spoke to him. While you may have been proud of him, he had been terrified. Your fingers ran gentle circles at the base of his neck as he quietly sobbed into your skin.

You knew this had been a big step for him. Stars, the day itself had been big for the both of you. The fear of falling, the fear of being hurt or worse had been something you’d had to convince him would be ok. “Shhh, it’s ok. We’re ok. You did it.” You felt him shake slightly as a few scared sobs left him and you simply hummed as you continued to hold him. “I got you, Wrecker. I’m here.” You remembered the way his praise always made you feel. “I’m so proud of you, my big bear.”

While your words didn’t affect him the same way his did to you, they helped. Proud of him, yes, you were proud of him. He’d done it. He’d faced his fear and jumped sixty feet. Tech would be so proud of him. “I…I did it.”

“You did!” You allowed your happiness that he’d faced his fear overflow from you and into him. “Wait until you tell Omega. She’s going to be so excited.”

Omega would, wouldn’t she? “Maybe we can bring her next time.” The walk from the ship to the peak alone would be thrilling for the curious girl. Though it would mean you wouldn’t be able to ride on his cock the whole flight.

“Oh, she would love this place. Might have to forcibly drag her back to the ship.” You chuckled before wiggling from his grasp and heading towards the roaring wall of water. “Come, I wanna show you something.” You’d both done it. Faced your fears for one another. Now it was time to have fun.

Wrecker watched your nude form swim away from him and towards the falls. Yes, it was nice having you in his arms naked. But damn was he enjoying watching you swim away like this. “Coming, Sarad.” He swam after you with a small smile on his lips. The fear of what he’d just done was now gone from his mind. All he could think about was you. As he got closer to you you vanished behind the wall of water before sticking your hand through for him. He didn’t hesitate to take your perfect hand and allow himself to be pulled through.

What he saw on the other side amazed him. There was an alcove big enough for the two of you to fit in unlike any he’d ever seen. Instead of just stone, it was a mix of sweet-smelling green and purple algae and vines with small white and yellow flowers. Looking past you and deeper into the alcove he could make out something glistening in the stone walls, but from the angle he was at he couldn’t seem to tell what they were. Movement next to him drew his attention and he watched as you pulled yourself onto the ledge of the alcove before turning and sitting with your legs hanging in the water, a perfect smile rested on your lips as you beckoned for him to join you. It took him a moment to find a good grip to hoist himself out of the water, but once he was out he turned and sat next to you. “Wow.” That was all he was able to say as he looked at the cascading water. Rays of sunlight shone through the lavender water and bathed the area around the both of you in a purple hue. Turning to look around the alcove he realized that the item he’d seen glistening in the light was a gemstone in the wall. Now that he could look around better, he realized that there were multiple purple and white gemstones in the walls and ceiling. “This place is amazing.”

You were pleased that he was enjoying the private alcove. “Isn't it? Chai, Doll, and I found it the last time we were here.” It felt like a lifetime ago now. Chai was now off planet and Doll was…well you weren’t too sure what Doll was up to. You could have sworn you'd seen her and Crosshair kissing the other night before dinner. But she hadn’t said anything to you. You put the thought out of your mind as Wrecker's hand gripped your thigh. Right, you were completely naked while he still had his shirt and boxers on. A devilish smirk played on your lips as you turned to face him, your hand tugging at the leg of his boxers. “You know, I think you’d be much more comfortable without these on.” It was time to enjoy your date now. “And inside me instead.”

A shiver ran down Wrecker's spine as you stood up and moved deeper into the alcove. His eye followed you with interest as you moved behind him. He took in the sway of your hips and the curve of your ass with an increasing appetite. Wrecker felt the air leave his lungs as you turned to smile at him. Between the lavender hue of the alcove, the growing foliage around it, and the glistening gemstones, you looked ethereal. He opened his mouth to say something but found the words unable to leave him. Instead, he took on the appearance of a fish with his mouth opening and closing.

“Wrecker?” Why was he staring at you like that? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you naked before. You watched him stand up and stumble over to you, his mouth still opening and closing as he failed to speak. What was going on? His hands slid around your waist and pulled you close, the bulge in his boxers pressing between your legs.

“I’m sorry. You’re just…so beautiful.” Beautiful and breathtaking and amazing and wonderful and so many more words he wished he could find to describe how magnificent you looked in that moment. It took him a moment to find the word but he realized that for once, his pet name for you was entirely accurate. Right there, in that moment, you were a goddess to him. A goddess that was his. It seemed his words did something to you because you turned your face away from his with a slight blush on your cheeks. You whispered a cute ‘Wrecker’ as you did so making him realize that you didn’t truly understand how beautiful he found you. Wrecker raised his hand to your chin and tilted your head back to face his. “I mean it. I know I tell you all the time how beautiful you are. But it’s because of how true it is. I see you as the most beautiful woman, no, the most beautiful creature in existence. No gem or nebula could compare to how absolutely gorgeous you are to me, my goddess.”

Wrecker telling you how beautiful you were wasn’t a new thing. He told you nearly every day how stunning you looked and you loved it. You did. But something about the way he was saying it at this moment was making you feel tingly. Maybe it was because of the way he was saying it and looking at you. He continued to praise your beauty and pour out his heart to you while also rubbing your hip with his thumb. Something about this moment felt special. Why? Why did you feel so different this time compared to the others? You raised your arms from around his waist up to his shoulders where they draped over as he bent down to make it easier for you two to kiss. “Oh Wrecker.” You stroked his scarred cheek gently. “I think you're the most handsome man in existence. I feel… Stars I can’t describe how I feel when I’m with you. Or how you make me feel when you call me beautiful. But…oh Wrecker I love you so much.” It’s all that you could seem to say. It’s all that would come out. That must have been what that twinging, tickling, spinning feeling that was going on inside of you was. You were so madly and so undeniably in love with him. Yes, you’d already declared your love to him many times since he’d returned but something in this moment made you realize just how deeply in love with him you were.

“I’m so lucky to have you.” You, a woman who grew up countless light years away from him. Who experienced a completely different life than he had and who had never seen a day of battle. You’d gone through so much in your life and yet here you were, in his arms telling him how much you loved him. Never had he thought he’d experience this level of love. Never had he thought he’d have someone in his life who looked at him the way you did. With so much love and adoration it was making him feel tingly all over. He didn’t wait for you to say anything back, instead he tilted his head down and kissed your soft lips deeply.

This kiss felt so different from any other time you’d kissed before. This one felt deeper, and more important than any other kiss. His hand snaked around the back of your neck and into the base of your scalp, his fingers threading through your hair and holding you close. His tongue ran across your bottom lip asking sweetly for entrance into your mouth and you felt your head swim as the tip of it lapped at your tongue. Thick fingers pulled your head back slightly as his tongue delved deeper into your mouth suppressing the moan that left you. His hand that rested on your hip tightened slightly and you felt those rough digits dimple your skin. “W-wrecker.” You gasped his name quietly while breaking for air and taking in the way he was now staring at you. That adorable brown eye was wide and lust-filled. You took a moment to try and imagine what he’d look like with two good eyes and found that you didn’t like the image. Somehow that wasn’t your Wrecker. This was your Wrecker. One good eye, one bad, and a scar on the same side as the bad eye. Perfect in every way to you. You sighed softly as you stroked the scar with gentle fingers. “Make love to me?”

He savored the way you were staring at him, lost in whatever thoughts were going through your mind. His head tilted into the dull touch of your hand, the full feeling lost to that side of his face a few years prior. He’d tell you about it one day. How he lost his sight in that eye and got his scar. But for now, he just wanted to savor you. “Today, tomorrow, and for however much longer you’ll have me, Sarad.” He sighed as rough lips pressed against the soothing smoothness of yours, the hand in your hair loosened slightly before releasing it all together. “Here.” He pulled away from you while reaching down and grabbing the hem of his shirt. It came off in one swift movement before he balled it up and placed it on the ground near the wall with the most gemstones in it. The shirt was soaked but it would be somewhat comfortable for you to lay on while he rewarded you for your bravery that day. “Lay down for me?”

Your heart soared with the sweet words he was speaking to you. “You can have me until I draw my last breath, Wrecker. I’m forever yours.” The declaration of your eternal love for him came as a surprise to you. Never had you thought you’d be able to love someone as deeply as you loved him. He smiled that adorable crooked smile for you while scooping you into his arms. Carefully he spun you before kneeling and placing you on the ground, his hand cradling your head while positioning it over the wet shirt. You sighed softly watching him kneel next to you with nothing but his tented boxers on. You chewed your lip at the sight of the material, craving the feeling of the length beneath it inside of you. “Please, Wrecker.” You spoke with an airy needy breath. “I need to feel you.”

Who was he to deny you when you spoke that way to him? “Together forever.”

It was so silly but the way he said it made it sound like a marriage proposal. It wasn’t silly to think that you may marry him someday, but silly to think that you’d only known him for a little over half a standard year, and yet you were ready for that eventuality. You’d never believe in love at first sight or that feeling of looking at someone and knowing right away that they were the one you wanted to spend forever with. But when you thought about the first time you saw your beloved clone, you realized that your heart had skipped a beat when you made eye contact. Was that what that feeling had been? Love at first sight? You watched as Wrecker moved around between your legs and placed his hands on your knees. A year ago you wouldn’t have even thought of allowing a man to look at your most intimate places like this. Now, you shamelessly allowed your legs to fall open so he could see your glistening needy heat. He licked his lips at the sight making you let out a needy moan. “Please.” You gasped as his rough hand slid down your leg and across the delicate skin of your inner thigh.

“Of course, riduur.” Leaning forward, he ran his nose across your needy bud eliciting a little cry from your lips. Your hand was instantly on the back of his head, stroking it carefully as he continued to tease you. “So needy.”

His hot breath wafted across your core and soon you were keening his name loudly. The sound echoing around you and mixing with the roar of the falls. His tongue lapped and twirled around your bud making you see stars. “W-wrecker! Fuck!” He was too damn good at this. It was so unfair how he could make you see heaven itself with only a few strokes of his tongue. A deep chuckle left him before he pressed into your heat and you felt his teeth scrap very carefully against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Just that much was enough to push you close to your edge, his tongue dipped into you and soon you were screaming his name as your first, albeit small, orgasm washed over you. Little pants of pleasure left your lips as he continued to work you through your little orgasm. “M-more. Need you.” Wrecker chuckled while licking your release from his lips and sitting back on his heels. After a moment of admiring your soaking sex, he stood. You took it as your chance to return the pleasure.

Before he could pull his boxer off completely, you were on your knees and pulling his hard length into your mouth. “Kriff, Sarad.” He’d never openly tell you how much he loved your height difference. How when you were on your knees you came to the perfect height to take his cock easily into your mouth. The sight always turned him on even more than he already was. The two of you were truly designed to fit with one another. His hand threaded through your hair once more and he helped to set a slow pace on his cock, your tongue rubbing against the underside of him as your head lived back and forth. How you managed to fit his hefty size into that sexy little mouth of yours would always amaze him. But you did. “Such a good girl taking all of my cock like that.” You whined softly around his cock making him let out a long sigh. “Kriff, it feels good when you do that.”

You moaned around him once more and felt his cock twitch in your mouth. It was an odd sensation in your mouth and a struggle to take all of him but you did it. It had taken a few times to get as comfortable as you were with it between your lips but now you could say you were very comfortable with it. Your hand wrapped around the still visible base of his cock and you began to carefully pump it in time with your head bobs. Wrecker sighed and groaned against your touch making you grin. With a loud pop, you pulled yourself from him and stared up with your mouth hanging open.

Fuck, you looked unbelievably sexy in that moment. Your hair disheveled from his hand being in it, your mouth hanging open and your breasts on full display for him. A part of him wanted you to continue sucking him and using your hand so that he could cover that chest of yours in his seed. But the darker primal side of him just wanted to finally be inside you and screw you into the dirt. He’d coat your chest in cum later. Perhaps while you flew back to Pabu? Surely you could make it work. “Fuck that mouth of yours is amazing.” He finished pulling his boxers off from around his ankles before falling to his knees with a huff. “But there’s somewhere else I’d rather be.”

“Then what are you waiting for, my love?” You curled your forefinger beneath his chin as you slowly fell back, pulling him with you. His hand shot out and cradled the back of your head as the two of you fell into the dirt, his body caging you protectively. “Hello, handsome” you cooed softly before pressing your lips against his with a sigh. A low growl left the bear of a man kissing you before you felt his hand against your needy core. “Mmmm, fuck me, Wrecker.” His fingers danced playfully against your pearl, you needed him inside you already. Between the earlier teasing on the ship and then his lips just a few moments ago you were in desperate need of him inside of you.

“So demanding.” What would he do with you? Wrecker returned to kissing you as his hand caressed your wet core and gathered some of your release which was then rubbed against his cock. He slid the tip across your opening and with a simple grunt, he was burying himself into your warmth. Your shared pants mixed with the sound of the cascade water as Wrecker carefully worked you open, your pussy fluttering around his cock with each thrust he did. Pulling him deeper and deeper into you. Each thrust drew out a long pant of his name into his neck from you, your warm body holding him tightly. You were so wet and eager for him.

Your hand wrapped around his torso and held him close as he buried himself to the hilt within you, his balls resting against your ass. Rough lips peppered kisses against your jaw as he allowed you a moment to adjust to his superior size. It was only a moment but it felt like minutes as you waited for him to move but when he did you were instantly seeing stars. The curve of his length allowed him to perfectly hit your most sensitive spot and you knew from experience you wouldn’t last long, not in this position and not after so much buildup throughout the day. Your body arched off the ground and pressed against his as your nails gripped deeper and deeper into his back. A hiss came from him at the feeling but he didn’t relent as he continued to thrust into you. Once, twice, three times and you were howling his name like a sexed-out slave girl. “Kriff, yes. Right there! Fuck!”

You continued to cry out as Wrecker felt himself drawing close to his release. Your earlier work on his cock having gotten him close already. He buried his face into your neck while sliding his arm around your back and holding you close. Using his impressive strength, he pulled you into his lap as he fell back into a kneeling position. Now you were slightly above him and he savored the difference for now he could suck and lick your nipples with ease while also enjoying the way your face contorted in bliss. The new position allowed him a deeper reach into you and within four thrusts you were squeezing him. He knew that sign by now, you were close and all it would take is the right words to have you coming undone on his cock which would in turn have him spilling into you. Wrecker looked up at you with dark eyes as his tongue swirled your left nipple expertly. He sucked and swirled the pebbled bud for a few fleeting moments before nipping at the delicate skin around it. Your breasts were by far his favorite part of you to have in his mouth. There was something so mind-blowingly erotic about them that made him just want to have them in his mouth. He sucked a mark against your skin before pulling back and forcing you to look into his eye. With a deeper gruff than you’d ever heard from him, he spoke. “Be a good girl and cum on my dick.”

It was just what you needed to hear and after a single hard thrust, you were coming. Your orgasm raced across your eyes in a blinding light of ecstasy and euphoria as your clone gripped your sides and continued to impale you. His pacing was hard and fast as he chased his release within you. You were sore and tired but you allowed him to use you as his toy for a few more minutes until he was spilling over within you. The feeling of him filling you with his cum would never stop feeling wonderful for you. Nor would the grunting groaning sounds he’d make while leaning his head into the crook of your neck. You stormed the back of his head gently as he emptied himself within the warmth of your body, the fullness almost too much for you to bear. Almost. He’d come twice inside of you a week prior and that was a fullness that had incapacitated you. This, while still filling, was nothing compared to that day. “So good.” You whispered as you leaned down and kissed him. The high you’d been on was beginning to dissipate and exhaustion was beginning to pull at you.

Wreckers arms held you close to him as the two of you began to come down from your post-orgasm highs. It was always amazing when it came to screwing you. He could hear the exhaustion in your voice as you continued to praise him. Any other time he’d pull himself from you and lay you down. But not this time, for some primal reason he wanted to stay buried within you, his softening cock acting as a plug for his seed. Sure he couldn't actually breed you right now, not with the birth control you were on, plus the fact he was sure Nala Se had mentioned something about them being unable to reproduce. But the urge to keep it all within you was still powerful. Not to mention the intense closeness he felt with you when the two of you were like this. He felt your forehead press against his and the two of you shared a long sigh. This was bliss. His little piece of paradise was here with you.

The two of you sat that way for nearly ten minutes before he finally removed himself from your warmth. The moment he did so his sizable release was making its way out of your body and coating your thighs. The sight made him lick his lips. “Would you like to eat lunch first before you fuck me into the dirt?” You were surprisingly hungry.

The clone laughed brightly as he scooped you into his arms and began to walk towards the edge of the alcove. “I figured we’d eat quickly then I’d fuck you beneath these falls. Eat some more then have you ride my cock while we flew back home.” He placed you down near the edge and watched as droplets of water began to coat your skin.

A shiver ran down your spine at the thought of two more rounds with him before the day was out. Maybe even a fourth depending on how you were feeling when you got home. Would you be terribly sore for the next week? Stars, yes. But Kriff, would it be worth it. “Maybe we should start with dessert first then?” Who needed to eat when you had a man as muscular and sexy as Wrecker in front of you?” He chuckled with a deep bass and your thighs clenched. Oh yeah. There was no way you two were even close to being done with one another.

He pulled you into a deep kiss, swallowing the needy whine that came from you. “My poor insatiable riddur. What will I do with you?”

There was that new word again. He hadn’t called you that before. Looking up at him, a hand resting on his chest as his cum ran down your leg, you spoke. “What does that mean? Riduur?”

Oh, he’d called you that, hadn’t he? “It means…partner or girlfriend.” A lie, one of the only ones he’d ever tell you. But he hadn’t meant to slip up and call you that, not yet at least.

“Is it the same back to you? Can I call you my Riduur as well?” You’d been meaning to learn mando’a. Chai had found a droid on the island who spoke thousands of languages, Mando’a being one of them. You just hadn’t had the time to start learning. All you knew was from Wrecker and his siblings.

His cheeks flared as you spoke his language. “P-please.”

Oh, he was adorable when he got like this. If this would make him blush then you’d call him it all the time. With a happy smile, you brushed your lips against his. “You’re my riduur, Wrecker.” He smiled and kissed you once more.

-*-

Later that night, in the safety and warmth of your shared home, you tucked Omega into her bed. Her room had been fully decorated with her stuff from the Marauder as well as newer decorations. Fairy lights strung over her bed doused the area in a rainbow glow of colors while a slowly forming pile of stuffed animals and dolls took over a small section of her bed. You recounted a small amount of the day's activities to her and how brave her brother had been to jump off the falls while she recounted what happened at school.

“Omega? Do you know what ‘Riduur’ means?” You’d been running the brush through her growing blonde locs when the thought came to you to ask her. From what you knew, her understanding of the language wasn’t as advanced as the guys were, so you’d simply wanted to see what she knew.

Omega tapped at her datapad as she finished a homework assignment. “Oh, that one is a nice one. It means Husband or wife. Depends on who’s saying it to who.” She paused for a moment. “Why? Did Wrecker call you that?”

Husband or Wife? He’d called you his wife. That intense tingling feeling coursed through your body once more. Why had he lied about it? Was he embarrassed? Had he not meant to call you it? No, he’d said it twice and even asked that you call him whenever you wanted to. That meant he wanted to hear you call him ‘husband’.

‘ Together Forever’

It hadn’t been a marriage proposal, but a special promise between the two of you. A smile played on your lips as you silently spoke the word with a better understanding. You weren’t married yet and probably wouldn’t be for a while. But you were his forever. You’d tell him in a few days that you knew the real meaning. For now, though, you’d enjoy calling him your husband.

“Stitches?” Omega looked over her shoulder at you.

“S-sorry. Was thinking about something.” You shook your head and focused back on the girl. “What was your question?”

Omega raised an eyebrow at you. “I asked if Wrecker called you his riduur?”

“Oh goodness no.” A lie, but she was too young to understand the complicated relationship of an adult. “Just saw it in some research articles I was reading. Been thinking of learning mando’a.”

Oh. “I can help you! Wrecker said he really likes it when you speak a little bit you know!”

You smiled and accepted her offer. When she mentioned him enjoying you speaking the language you simply laughed while trying to hide your blush. “That he does, Omega. That he does.”

Tag List:

@rndmpeep @sarahskywalker-amadala @queenariesofnarnia @idoubleswearimawriter @bambambunny @ravenclawbitch426 @jupitersaturnapollo @mzjakao @heylosers06 @dangraccoon @impala1967666 @andrakass2 @ducks118 @motte-the-goblin @rintheemolion @merkitty49 @jediknightjana @onyxtides @moon-wrecked @mssbridgerton

#clone wars fic #fanfic update #bad batch wrecker #the bad batch #tbb wrecker x reader #wrecker tbb #wrecker x you #bad batch wrecker x reader #wrecker #tbb wrecker #Spotify

[descendinginto-madness]

you're safe now.

word count: 878

content warnings: mentions & descriptions of injury

summary: the aftermath of a mission gone... not so right.

author's notes: taking a small break from ocs. just for a little through don't get used to it 😋 alsoooo obv i can't control how peope interpret my work but just keep in mind i didn't write this with a romantic ship in mind 🫶

contains mild spoilers for dan heng's lore

“You should be more careful,” Dan Heng says, sitting next to Stelle on the edge of her bed with a first aid kit. She rolls her eyes, and he lets out a heavy sigh. “You know I'm right.”

“I'm always careful,” she replies, almost annoyed, and he raises his eyebrows but doesn't say anything to that. Instead he simply moves a bit closer. Stelle has already taken off her hoodie, making it easier for him to access a fairly big cut on her arm; it's unfortunately not the only injury she came back with from the mission, but the most serious one - from what Dan Heng could see - and it makes him a bit relieved that there's nothing more serious or harder to treat. 

“Show me,” he asks, and she pulls away the now bloodied piece of cloth she was pressing against the wound. The Vidyadhara takes a moment to look at the cut, before he proceeds to clean it; he doesn't hesitate with his movements, but he's also gentle, careful not to cause Stelle more pain. 

He finishes cleaning the excess blood and bits of dirt that got into the cut, and turns away for a moment to grab the disinfectant.

“It might sting a little,” he warns, but when the only reaction he gets from Stelle is a nod, he realizes that something is not quite right.

There's no snarky or slightly unhinged remark, just silence; she has been awfully quiet for the past few minutes, and if that wasn't enough Dan Heng also notices her face looks pale, and his eyebrows furrow slightly.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Yeah?” She looks back at him, seemingly slightly surprised by the question.

“Not feeling faint or anything like that? You look pale.” He doesn't let it show in his voice, but there's concern starting to grow inside him. What if her injuries are worse than what he initially thought? What if there is some more serious wound that she has been hiding from him up until now? Or what if the Stellaron decided to sabotage her body again and she’s feeling sick? 

He goes on to disinfect the wound carefully, trying to make it seem like everything's fine. It's better not to freak Stelle out… Or give her a reason to tease him again.

She does neither of that, though.

“Do I?” she just asks, and then shakes her head. “No, I'm fine. Don't worry about it.”

There's a “but”, he can sense it, but it doesn't seem like she's going to continue, and Dan Heng isn't sure how to make her talk. It's painfully obvious to him that there is something weighing on her mind, but he doesn't know how to approach it. He sighs quietly; sometimes, just sometimes, he wishes the Vidyadhara powers included mind reading - that way, maybe he could make some use of them.

As he reaches for the bandages, though, he suddenly realizes something.

He remembers how he found Stelle - in a dead end, backed into a wall, bloodied and dirty and clearly exhausted, trying to ward off three monsters at once. He remembers the look on her face; it was determination, but also fear, and it turned into relief only after she finally spotted him.

When he begins wrapping the bandage around her arm he asks yet another question, but this time his voice is softer.

“Still thinking about what happened?” 

He has to wait a few seconds for a response; once again, it's a nod.

“Yeah,” she admits, her voice similarly quiet. She's silent for a bit more, as if she was thinking about whether she really should say anything more. “...Sorry,” she finally adds. “You're right. I should be more careful, if I was then—”

“Stelle,” he interrupts her. She looks up at him, and their eyes meet. “Do you think I'm angry at you?”

“Maybe?” she laughs, but he notices her eyes are a bit more glossy than usual. 

“Then you should know that I'm not,” he says. He finishes bandaging her arm and gently takes her hands to examine them; thankfully, there seem to be no injuries there. “I might get annoyed, but I'm not actually angry, okay?” he asks.

“But… I don't know,” she says. “It’s just… It was scary? I don't know.” Her eyes wander back down, to the ground, and the look on Dan Heng's face softens. “If you didn't show up…”

“I know,” he replies. It's… Oddly painful to see Stelle like this, so unlike herself. This entire thing seems to have affected her more than he initially thought, and it makes him feel guilty for not noticing it sooner. At the same time, he feels odd being the one to comfort her right now - March is definitely way better at this than him - but… He supposes that this one time, he won't mind. But that obviously means he can't leave her with only two words, so he speaks again. 

“I can imagine this was quite scary, but it's done now, right?” he adds. “You're here, and you're safe, and that's the most important thing.”

She's quiet for a moment, but, eventually, she nods.

“...Right,” she says, and he's glad to see than when she smiles this time, it doesn't look forced anymore. 

#angstpril2024 #honkai star rail #fanfiction #day11 #no way out #hsr #stelle #dan heng #tw injury #dim writing ☁️

[darlenicy]

THE TORTURED POET'S DEPARTMENT x Winx ships

~ Taylor Swift meets Winx.... again.

basically rivusa, driven and skicy

Hate to admit it, but the album has quite some rivusa songs and if I'd ship it, I'd have a bunch of inspiration now.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys is such a rivusa song omg. staying together breaks musa, but she tells herself riven just hurts her because he loves her...

and also I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) is so rivusa. musa tries to fix riven, make him change. she can't embrace his real self. that's why they break up. because in the end it's not about fixing him, it's about accepting who he is, which she just can't.

*~*~*~*

darcy after finding out riven wasn't going to stay with her after they took over Cloud Tower: she smiles and pretends that everything is alright.

’Cause I’m a real tough kid. I can handle my shit

They said, “Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it” and I did

“Lights, camera, Bitch, smile

Even when you wanna die”

He said he’d love me all his life

But that life was too short

Breaking down, I hit the floor

All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more

I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks

’Cause I can do it with a broken heart

*~*~*~*~*

idk for whom yet but this one gives me feelings too. probably a heartbroken darcy again. works well for musa too.

Were you sent by someone

Who wanted me dead?

Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

Were you writing a book?

Were you a sleeper cell spy?

In fifty years will all this be declassified?

And you'll confess why you did it

And I'll say, "Good riddance"

'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden

I would've died for your sins

Instead I just died inside

And you deserve prison, but you won't get time

You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars

You crashed my party and your rental car

You said normal girls were "boring"

But you were gone by the morning

You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing

And in plain sight you hid

But you are what you did

And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive

The smallest man who ever lived

*~*~*~*~

this gives me skicy s2 vibes. they can't let each other go.

Ditch the clowns, get the crown

Baby, I'm the one to be

'Cause the sign on your heart

Said it's still reserved for me

Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

*~*~*~*~*

another skicy one. highschool au or not. story would be that sky got pressured by his father to break up with icy because of their different status in society. I imagine them to be about 15 there

Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym

Everything comes out teenage petulance

Fuck it if I can't have him

I might just die, it would make no difference

Down bad, wakin' up in blood

Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up

Fuck it if I can't have us

I might just not get up, I might stay

*~*~*~*~*~*

that's it for now. I'm not done with the album yet so there might be a part two

#winx club #winx #Taylor swift #taylor swift winx #winx musa #winx darcy #winx riven #winx sky #driven #rivusa #skicy #the tortured poet's department #Spotify

[inafieldofdaisies]

Ship edit and snippet | The Deceiver and The Wolf | vol. 1 / vol. 2

“It was probably nothing but [at that moment] it felt like the world.”

Mercedes placed the last pieces she had selected for him to 'model' out of a deadman's closet then turned to face Jacob with a triumphant smile, a pesky reminder to what he had haphazardly agreed to without thinking she was actually serious. "I'm not trying any of these.", he muttered, his frown only deepening when he realized if she had gone as far as to actually put together outfits, she was about to force him to wear at least one of them for more than a couple of minutes. Her dark eyes narrowed, shining in determination, "You promised." "It was a joke." A snort left her at the excuse, "I thought you don't do jokes." The glare that usually worked on his men and resulted in them scattering out of his sight had no effect on her, only prompting her to cross her arms over her chest, signaling she wasn't backing down. Goddamn it, woman. "Just one, Mercedes.", the words were but a bitter hiss that won a smile out of her, "So pick accordingly."

"Oh, how generous, Mr. Seed.", her focus returned to the bed that was covered in clothes, index finger running over her lip as she set on making her choice, "You're lucky whoever lived in this cabin was your size. Which reminds me… do you know what happened to him?" "No." His voice was even, emotionless, hiding the lie. Truth was, he had a very good idea of the McNeills fate - Stella had fallen victim to crossfire while the man whose clothes he was about to put on, had become just another failed participant in his trials. Zachary was weak, like so many before and after him, and the moment he had learned about his wife's passing, breaking him had turned into even less of a challenge. Something stopped him from uttering out those morbid details, even when Jacob knew they were bound to put an end to this form of torture she had come up with so early in the morning. The exact price would have been watching her carefree smile disappear from her face. Just power through it. "Off and the rest, too.", she ordered eventually, pointing at his field jacket. He made no move to undress, "Did you even pick anything yet?" "Yes. Now, clothes off, Jacob. Or do you need my help?" "Bossy.", he smirked despite his sour mood, refusing to let how uncomfortable he felt deep down show, "Maybe I should take you up on the offer, would certainly make all this worth the hassle."

Mercedes rolled her eyes as he threw his jacket at her, and she caught it without missing a beat, "Keep your undies on." "Yes, m'am." The sarcasm wasn't lost on her. "Keep this up, and I'm going to make you try on the Clutch Nixon Halloween costume this guy has. You sure would pull off that cape." His hands froze right when they were undoing his jeans, "You wouldn't dare." She cocked her head, sending another grin his way as she watched his progress, "We both know, I absolutely would." Seconds later, she was holding onto everything he was used to wearing while he stood in the middle of the bedroom in just his underwear, "Happy?" "Very. Now turn around and no peeking in the mirror, mister." He complied with a sigh, deciding to get things over with faster, now that he had made it past the point of no return. Jacob felt her approach before a hand appeared to his right, offering him a pair of pants that were thankfully green. Familiar. I can do this. He reluctantly put them on, avoiding his reflection as she passed him a shirt in a lighter shade of green, then a darker colored sweater. The realization she was sticking to what he prefered wearing hit him as he slipped the woolen garment over his head, and she helped him drag it down over his chest, speeding up the process. "See. Wasn't I right?", her hands set on his upper arms before he slowly lowered his eyes to the mirror in front of him for the first time since she had put the whole game in motion.

"I'm not wearing it out.", he grumbled out as he stared at himself, almost not recognizing the man looking back at him. He couldn't remember the last time he had worn civilian clothes. "Pretty please?" "No." She laughed at his sharp reply, coming to stand next to the mirror, "You look dashing." "Compliments won't get you anywhere, sweetheart." The way she bit her lip was the first sign of trouble, "A deal then?" "Absolutely not." He grabbed the hem of the sweater, readying to strip it off when she raised an eyebrow, challenge visible in her gaze. "What are you afraid of?" "I'm not afraid of anything.", he snarled, "I have no time to play dress-up." "You're not even a little bit curious what I will suggest?" "No." He was lying again, and the fact he hadn't removed any of the borrowed clothes told her as much, urging her on. "I will wear whatever you pick tomorrow." Silence took over the room, her steeled expression and demeanor telling him she stood behind her suggestion, further confirming it with the pinkie she offered him. "Deal, Jacob?"

Blue eyes shifted to her hand and then back to her face, "Aren't you worried?" Mercedes released a huff, "About what? You dressing me from head to toe in camo and tactical gear until I'm blending with the woods better than the goddamned trees?" "Last chance to back down.", he tried again, knowing full well she wasn't going to, that the warning was ringing hollow. "I've been told I can pull off even a potato sack." The matter-of-fact statement John probably would have classified as prideful, had he been there. "Deal.", he nodded as he wrapped his pinkie around hers, adding under his breath, "Am I really that predictable?" "Just a tiny bit."

#another snippet I had floating around in my head for far too long... I had to share <3 #the Clutch Nixon costume comment!!! hahhaha #at this point I'm blaming Mer coded dresses for every ship edit I make for those two <3 <3 #the collage has a little teaser of Mer's birth name [you're getting first letter] since that reveal would be happening soon in the wip #ship: the deceiver and the wolf #oc: mercedes “mercy” sibley #jacob x mercedes #jacob seed x mercedes sibley #wip: in hope of tomorrow #fc5 ocs #fc5 #far cry 5 oc #far cry 5 #far cry 5 fandom #fc5 fandom #edits #myedits #my ships #ship dynamics #ships #character inspiration #original characters #character edit #ship moodboard #graphic design #otp things #wip #jacob seed x oc #jacob seed #oc character

[anewstartrekfan]

I can’t shut up about Conscience of the King

Well hey it’s my blog I’m allowed to obsess over this.

Okay so I need to address the Kirk vs Kodos scene cuz it is not only extremely underrated, it gives us some incite into Kodos’ fascism and why I believe Kirk was on the execution list.

So let me paint a picture. It’s been 20 years since the Tarsus IV massacre and Kirk had done fairly well for himself. He’s the captain of the enterprise after all, people owe him favors everywhere, and (as far as I’m currently aware since I’m still watching s1) he’s seen as an asset to starfleet. Then over the course of an investigation, Kirk meets Kodos the executioner face to face, and Kodos calls Kirk inhuman.

“Here you stand, the perfect symbol of our technical society. Mechanized, electronisized, and not very human. You’ve done away with humanity, the striving of man to achieve greatness through his own resources.”

Kodos sees Kirk as someone who only got where he is today with the help of technology. Kirk is the symbol of everything Kodos hates about the universe. Basically what fascists say when fighting against stuff like affirmative action and social welfare programs. Kodos is arguing for a false meritocracy.

Edit: The fact that Kodos’ theater troop is steeped in old plays is also another tell for his fascism. The emphasis on so called tradition is key, and Kirk is not a traditional captain by any stretch.

So yeah, if Kodos sees the decorated captain of the enterprise like this, the barely a teenager Kirk was definitely on the execution list 20 years ago.

Kodos’ description of greatness here is also key. Because later on when he describes the massacre of the colonists, he says this,

“If the supply ships hadn’t come earlier than expected, this Kodos of yours might have gone down in history as a great hero!”

Kodos wasn’t just trying to save the colony. He was trying to achieve greatness as governor. He wanted a legacy, to go down in history for this. And he did, but not in the way he wanted. Just like the Nazis and other fascists. This also proves how much of a hypocrite he was. After all, what’s the difference between Kirk using the tools at his disposal as captain and Kodos using the resources at his disposal as governor? And Kodos even admits this, though instead refers to his acting as his tools. Kodos knows on some level that he’s lost, which is why he tries to goad Kirk into killing him.

“If you’re so sure I’m Kodos, why not kill me now?! Let bloody vengeance take its final course! See what difference it makes to this universe of yours.”

Kodos isn’t just being a dramatic actor here. He even later admits he doesn’t treasure his own life. I believe he wants Kirk to kill him now because Kirk does not have definitive proof that he is Kodos yet. So Kodos wants to die as Karidian, a nothing actor that barely made an impact on the universe at large. This is also why in the end Kodos’ priority is his daughter and why her murdering the survivors of his crimes breaks him. She was going to be his legacy, carrying on the Karidian name performing classical plays of old across the galaxy. But she couldn’t escape her father’s past. In fact, she used it as justification to murder 7 innocent people.

In conclusion this episode has many many layers.

#conscience of the king #james t kirk #star trek #star trek tos #tarsus iv #Star Trek analysis

[viisator]

Occasus Solis

Pairings: Nishimura Riki X F!Reader

Genre: Angst.

Warning: None.

Description: Ni-ki is your boyfriend since middle school, it all started when his friends started shipping and teasing the both and it turned out Ni-ki had a crush on you since day one. Until you both go into a university you have each other's back, until it's finally time to graduate, to plan for your lives. But it seems like God has different plans. You may not be the one he'll spend all the rest of his life with, but you're still the one whom his heart embraced up until he grows old and his hair as grey as your time.

Not Proofread

Word count: 785 words.

++This fic is originally a Ni-ki and Sunoo fanfic, but I noticed it never got quite the attention I hoped for, and it was also written in taglish, so no wonder nobody read it. So I made this!! Enjoy!!++

Occasus Solis - "sunset ˈsənˌset" in Latin.

• • • • •

I watch you and admire you this close. I hear you gasping looking at the setting sun, and I mindlessly stare at your twinkling eyes of stars, I sometimes wonder, "How can someone be this lovely?" Then I realized, maybe because you are the sunshine, that's why I can't take my eyes off of you, but also pains my eyes whenever I look at you, and they'll eventually water.

"Riki my Love, why are you crying?" Your voice ring through my ears, but it never went away, it just keep on repeating, repeating the wonders of your voice.

"Nothing Love, just wondering things..." I answered you with my almost breaking voice, trying to swallow the lumps of my throat that were trying so hard to stop me from spitting my thoughts out, with my hot tears running down my face, you stare at me, dropping your smile, then when the sunset lights hit your face, it made me realize our time is too short. For all people to leave, why would he pick you?

"Love...you should go rest." Those words came out of my mouth like a whisper, holding the rest of my tears from falling, and holding myself from closing my eyes, scared that you might suddenly fade away, scared that you might leave anytime soon, scared that I won't be seeing those wonderful twinkly eyes of yours that a person would not stop from staring at till those eyes of them burn, and that specific person is those eyes that it's been staring at now. I wonder, what if it was me, the one who'll go away, you might have the same feelings I've been holding for these past few months, I shouldn't have gone home, I shouldn't have left you, I shouldn't have believed you when you told me that you'll be fine, but in the end, you're not.

"Love...maybe- " your sentence was cut off by those silent cries of yours that made my throat burn even further, then you close your eyes, open them once again and look at me with your smile that hides your eyes.

"Maybe God saw that it's not now, there must be a next time, maybe it's not the right time yet, maybe this is a second chance for us to start a new life...in another world, in another time, and maybe in another body. ..but hopefully, never another us, and maybe God picked me first, Love." You told me those words, with a smile but your tears are falling. I kinda blame the sunset for making it so perfect for goodbyes.

"Why-....why you-" My breath was cut off with hiccups, I have now been hiccuping, forcing my cracked-up voice to come out, preventing myself from breaking any further, but I've seen more than enough of you breaking every day, every day you got thinner, every day you got less energetic, and every day those days end, our time got even shorter.

"We can't predict the future, but predicting it won't help, you'll just have to let it flow for how it is, and we have nothing to do with it." Now you're whipping my tears away, while your own eyes gleam with the sunset lights and sparkly tears that are too beautiful to be the end.

"What if-...what if- if there is no next life? What if I can't find you? What if we're born at the wrong time? Y/n what if it's the last time I'll be with you?" The last question made me cry harder and louder, and I am now trying to catch my breath.

" Just wait, and if you can still love...then don't be afraid to try and love someone new, it'll not make me angry nor sad Riki... it'll make me happier, that maybe there is something that'll make you happy, whenever reincarnation is real or not try to be happy in this life, because we cannot predict the future, so be happy even without me." You told me that, and I can still remember how perfectly shone those orange-purplish hews of lights hit your bright eyes with crystal tears flown by it.

But now I can't even look at you laying down there, at once looking so peaceful, but I am dreadful, I am hollow, I'm nothing but a body that's moving. I can't even go to where you are, and by any day's close, you'll be buried down, and hopefully be in a place where you and I will meet again, waiting, and hopefully somewhere where the sun rises with you, Sunshine.

I hope to meet you again, when the time favours us, finally and hopefully, my Sunshine.

Series Masterlist

Enhypen Masterlist

©Viisator2023 - all rights reserved.

#niki nishimura #ni ki imagines #ni ki scenarios #niki nihachu #niki x reader #nishimura riki #enhypen nishimura riki #riki nishimura x reader #nishimura riki x reader #riki scenarios #enhypen riki #enha #enhypen #enhypen au #enha jungwon #enha sunoo #enha angst #enhypen jungwon #heeseung #kpop fanfic #enha heeseung #kim sunoo #enhypen park sunghoon #enhyphen #enhypen yang jungwon #lee heesung x reader #lee heeseung #lee know #nishimura niki #riki angst

[schrijverr]

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 15

Chapter 15 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, everyone’s life seems to be going in the wrong direction as Vecna rolls into town as they all seem to distance themselves from one another. Meanwhile, Robin has developed a crush on a certain cheerleader and it isn’t Steve.

On AO3.

Ships: steddie & buckingham

Warnings: internalized homophobia, homophobia mention, f-slur, bullying mention, HIV/AIDS crisis mention, racism mention, eating disorder mention

~~~~~~~

Chapter 15: The Arrival of Vecna

After new years, Steve feels like his life has been spiraling further and further out of control. Yet he cannot do anything, but stay. He can only watch and cling on as the roller coaster continues in a way that seems safe enough, but also like it can fall apart at any moment.

It’s just been a compilation of things, honestly. It feels like his fight with Eddie was a turning point and now, in a horrible domino effect, it is all getting worse from there.

Insecurity has been creeping up on him with the words of his father in that stupid clothing boutique and the fight with Eddie that came afterwards. Eddie, who is still ignoring him. Neither of them have said a word to the other since then.

He still feels conflicted about it. He hates what he did to Eddie and he wants to tell him how he didn’t mean it, but Eddie has taken to staying behind and sending the kids ahead, so he won’t have to see Steve’s face.

Steve has stopped getting out of the car. Just watches the school entrance in case he catches a flash of curly hair that he adores so much. His heart aches to make it right, to have dimples and chocolate eyes back in his life. Another part of him thinks it might be easier to be rejected, left in the dust. To be hurt, so he can get over it. To find love elsewhere.

Chrissy fake breaks up with him two weeks into the new year. Ever since then, he has been throwing himself at every girl that has come into Family Video in an attempt to cover up for all the emotions he’s feeling, but can’t put into words.

A few girls have actually taken him up on his offer and Steve has gone through with it, because he doesn’t think a straight boy in his position would refuse. It hasn’t been the most comfortable, but nothing he hasn’t done before and it’s just a task to get through.

Chrissy and Robin both have expressed concern about his behavior, but Steve will not listen to them.

The two have been hanging out quite a bit, since they’re stuck in school together and Steve is glad they’re getting along, but it’s annoying that they now team up together. It can be quite funny when they’re just ribbing each other, but more recently they’re being concerned together, which makes Steve want to walk into the forest never to be seen again. He doesn’t know why.

Right now is such a moment, where he can feel their eyes on his back as he leads a girl through the store, putting on his charm.

Steve is pretty sure she has a boyfriend, so hopefully this won’t end in another disastrous date. And for now he tries to feel validated by how she giggles and twirls her hair. No one will question him if he goes on like this. Next time, there will be more evidence needed than a few slurs, a picture in the year book, or the fact he isn’t married yet. Next time, he’ll be safer.

It’s for the best, so he ignores the stares of Chrissy and Robin as he flirts with the girl, whose name he does not know, pretending to be disappointed but understanding when she tells him about her boyfriend.

He rings her up, having to bump Robin out of the way, before watching her go with smile in place that he drops with a sigh once she’s out the door. Robin takes the moment to pipe up: “You don’t have to keep doing that, you know that, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he grits, playing dumb, because he isn’t in the mood for a lecture. He already feels uncomfortable enough in his own skin.

“We’re just worried, Stevie,” Chrissy says with those big eyes of her that Steve has always been a little weak for and she knows it.

Steve sends her a glare and scowls: “Nothing to worry about.”

“Dingus,” Robin huffs, a little annoyed by how he’s avoiding the topic. It hasn’t become a thing yet, Steve could never not show up when she needs him or vise versa, but he knows how much she hates that he’s shutting her out.

And he does feel guilty about it. Her remembers how she once confessed to him how everyone always seems to leave her behind. In the darkness of the night, Steve had promised he never would, but now he’s pushing her away.

The guilt eats at him and he doesn’t want to do a repeat of his behavior of when he fought with Eddie. He doesn’t want to fuck up like that again. So, he takes a deep breath and pleads: “I know, okay, I know. Please, just- just drop it, okay?”

It is the closest he has come to acknowledging it and Chrissy and Robin both share a look before looking back. Robin reacts first, she takes his hand and gives him a crooked smile: “Alright, dingus, okay.”

“We’re here if you want to talk,” Chrissy offers, also smiling.

Steve does not know what he did to deserve friends like this, but he feels incredibly fortunate. He smiles back and softly says: “Thanks.”

He wants to move on from the topic now, but he doesn’t know how. Luckily, Robin can practically read his mind, so she turns to Chrissy and says: “Hey, Chris, how is cheer going? Band is already practicing for the prep rally, you guys too?”

Chrissy lights up and excitedly starts talking about the new routine they’ve been working on. On another day, Steve would immediately get sucked into the topic, however, today he takes a second to recover before going to dive in.

Because he’s taking that moment, he suddenly notices how Robin is looking at Chrissy. Chrissy is smiling brightly as she talks about cheer and Robin is watching her, only following along, because she’s friends with two cheerleaders, thus has learned too much through osmosis, partially against her will. However, she doesn’t seem to mind, she’s smiling along, a little blush covering her freckles, as she stares at Chrissy.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Robin has a crush on Chrissy. It just hits him as he watches her. He hasn’t heard her about Vickie for a while, but he hadn’t realized that was because she likes someone else. Because she likes Chrissy.

He isn’t subtle about his realization either. Well, he is, but not for Robin. He is still holding her hand and squeezes it in surprise when he notices, looking between the two.

She looks at him when he squeezes and sees him glancing between them. Her eyes grow wide and he can see in her eyes that if he even thinks about uttering about saying anything while Chrissy is still in a 1 mile radius of Family Video, she is going to murder him.

Steve knows the feeling, so he quickly nods to let her know he gets it, before jumping into cheer, so that Chrissy won’t notice the hiccup.

Of course he had noticed the two getting closer and retrospectively the first time Robin saw Chrissy was pretty gay with how she spluttered and was rendered quite speechless, but he never really thought about it like that. A part of him still can’t fully fathom that anyone would be attracted to either of them, even if they are objectively attractive.

However, he manages to keep being normal until Chrissy has to go home. She hugs Steve first and he squeezes her back, before he watches her hug Robin, who seemingly explodes. He hadn’t know she could blush like that and has to bite his lip not giggle at her.

Though Steve has to admit, Robin is not the worst, not like he’s seen her with other girls she has liked. She isn’t tripping over herself rambling, instead just does an awkward smile and doesn’t really hug back, as she splutters a goodbye.

They both wave as Chrissy leaves and Steve drops it the moment, she gets into the car and he turns to Robin. Robin, who is blushing and not meeting his eyes. A shit eating grin creeps up on his face and he leans against the counter next to Robin as he drawls: “So… Chrissy.”

“Oh shut up,” she squeaks, pushing him away without looking.

Steve pouts and comes right back into her space and whines: “Oh come on, you bullied me about Eddie, I told you everything. You can’t just leave me hanging like this.”

Now Robin looks at him and she doesn’t look like Robin at all. Steve stops and looks at her, frowning as he takes in how she is hunched over, bites her lip anxiously, plays with her fingers, loosing the liveliness he loves about her. Gently he asks: “Hey, you okay?”

“You’re not mad about my crush on Chrissy?” she asks in a small voice that he hates on her. He likes how she cackles and rambles, not this.

“Of course I’m not mad,” he tells her. “Why would I be mad that you like her? She is super nice and a cool girl. Was inevitable, honestly.”

“It was not,” Robin scoffs, before she asks: “Isn’t it, like, against bro code to like someone’s friend?”

“Robin, you are also Chrissy’s friend,” Steve points out.

She has the audacity to look surprised by that statement and to then ask: “I am?”

“Yeah, Robs, you are,” Steve says, unsure how she can’t know that. “You two are always hanging out together, you eat lunch together. She asks me how you’ve been when you have to work while we hang out, because I’ve seen you last.”

“Oh, I thought she only did that to me, because you’re friends and I’m just also always there,” Robin says, scratching the back of her head.

“Gods, I love you, but you’re also an idiot,” Steve informs her.

“Hey, I take offense to that,” Robin pouts, but she is also grinning, which is a win.

“You can be offended later, tell me about your crush now,” Steve demands. “You finally developed taste, I have to know more.”

“Screw you, dingus,” Robin exclaims as she pushes him.

Steve wrinkles his nose and replies: “I’d rather you not.”

“Iewww,” Robin shudders, but she’s laughing too. Both of them taking a moment to giggle, before Robin sighs wistfully and says: “She’s just so pretty.” Then Robin groans and boinks her head on the counter. “And painfully straight. I listened to her talk about Tom Cruise for like an hour yesterday. The worst thing? I didn’t even mind, because she looks cute when she’s excited.”

Steve graciously suppresses the urge to laugh at her and just pats her back in a sympathetic manner, because he knows how much that sucks. “You’re gonna be okay, Robs. It sucks to have a crush on a straight person.”

“How would you know?” she asks, coming up from where she has buried her head in her arms to glare at him. “Eddie has taken to parading around with a hanky in his pocket, like I won’t know what that means. You had a chance.”

Had a chance, Steve repeats to himself, feeling a little stab. He could have if he hadn’t been so scared and such a dick. But Robin is lamenting her own crush, so he’s not going to be sad about his love life, especially because that will be an invitation to talk to him about how he’s flirting with girls everywhere and Steve knows what Robin is doing. She hopes he’ll bite and won’t ask more about her new crush that she has been trying to hide.

So, instead he doesn’t bite and just says: “I’ve had crushes on other people, you know. And I didn’t have a chance with them.”

“Who?” Robin demands, now fully dropping the gloom, much to Steve’s relief, he hates seeing her sad.

“Jonathan,” he admits, wanting to jump into a ditch and hide the moment he does.

“What?” Robin exclaims with glee in her voice. “Why didn’t you tell me that, dingus. That is important to know. You had a crush on the guy that stole your girlfriend.”

“I mean, we fought and it kind of made me realize some things,” Steve shrugs in embarrassment.

“You had a crush on him because he beat you up?” Robin asks, eyes nearly falling out of her sockets as she interrogates him.

“No,” Steve scowls, crossing his arms. “And we were talking about your hopeless crush, remember?”

“We can do that later, I have to hear this,” Robin waves his protest aside. “If not because he beat you up, then why?”

“He just made me realize I didn’t want to keep being King Steve when he beat me up,” Steve explains. “And then when I went to apologize we had to run from the demogorgon and he grabbed my hand and pulled me to safety. And I realized I liked that a little more than I should.”

“Oh my god, that is the best thing I have ever heard,” Robin squeals.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” Steve replies, hands over his ears.

“No, come on, this is great,” Robin grins. “I’m never going to let you forget that you had a crush on Jonathan because he held you hand.”

“Fuck off, I also held your hand, didn’t get a crush on you,” Steve pouts.

“Not really the right demographic, now am I?” Robin counters. “Unlike what you want to make everyone think. What happened there? Are you okay?”

“No, we’re not turning it around on me,” Steve snaps. “I meant it. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just talk about your crush and let me forget about it, okay? Please.”

Something in his voice must tell her how serious he is, because she nods seriously, despite obviously not wanting to and collapses back over the counter, lamenting about Chrissy in her cheer uniform and her soft cheeks and adorable giggle.

Despite having been friends with Chrissy for about a year now, Robin mentions things that Steve has never consciously registered about her. It’s odd but interesting to look at his friend through different eyes. Like, he never really noticed Chrissy had dimples, but when he thinks about it, she totally does.

It’s actually really cute how much Robin likes Chrissy, but Steve is also scared for her. He knows Chrissy is cool about the gay thing, though that might not translate to lesbians, since Robin hasn’t come out yet. However, that does not mean, she won’t break Robin’s heart.

Steve cares about both of them very much, but he will probably choose Robin, if this crush blows up in their faces. He might not have known Robin the longest, but they’ve been through so much together. You don’t just forget about that. And, despite how he is partially ignoring it, Robin is also queer, he will always support her and understand her struggles. Even if that means loosing Chrissy in the process.

Fuck, he just hopes Chrissy is at least cool about it, or that Robin’s crush blows over before something can happen.

Over the following weeks, it seems like life hates him more and more, as it continues to get worse and worse. It’s nothing big, but life seems to get lonelier.

Robin, of course, still fills his every moment when she can, but she still has school and finals are coming up as well. So, he sees her primarily when driving her to school, or at work, or when they’re both failing to fall asleep.

Mike has never liked him, so his lessening in appearance doesn’t come as a surprise. While Dustin still comes by, but less often than he used to, swept up into Hellfire club, robotics team and the never ending homework of high school. Meanwhile, Lucas has made varsity team, so he is also busy. Steve is so proud of him, but he just hopes that the basketball team doesn’t chew him up and spit him out while Steve can’t look out for him.

Lucas and Max have also broken up, so he doesn’t hang out with Lucas at the trailer park anymore either. He still has gone by to check on her, but she isn’t around or doesn’t open the door. Whenever he is there, he can feel Eddie’s trailer judging him from behind. So, he stopped.

However, he still trains with Lucas from time to time, teaching him things about basketball that he still remembers from when he was star player on the team. Like today, just the two of them shooting hoops on the Sinclair’s driveway.

It’s Wednesday and Chrissy canceled on Steve. She has been doing that more often and Steve doesn’t know what to do about it. Whenever they do hang out, she is still herself and Robin doesn’t note much out of the ordinary if the amount of times she waxes poetry about Chrissy’s smile is anything to go off.

For now, he tries to put it out of his mind and focus on Lucas. He yells: “Don’t dribble too hard, just above the knee. Stay in control.”

Lucas switches up his dribble slightly and Steve immediately has a harder time taking the ball from him. He can see in Lucas’ grin that he notices it too. They twirl around each other for a little longer, before Lucas can make a shot.

Both of them turn to watch as the ball arcs through the air, before bouncing on the rim once, twice, before falling next to it and rolling away with a slight bounce. Steve grimaces and forces a cheer in his voice as he says: “You’ll get it next time.”

He goes to get the ball, leaving Lucas a second the wallow in private, before turning back. In that time, Lucas has slumped on the steps of the house in a way that suggest that he isn’t getting up again. He seems done for the day, but the defeated pose doesn’t sit right with Steve.

So, he sits down next to Lucas and lets the quiet hang over them for a second. Then he asks: “You doing okay?”

The boy next to him sighs in a way that makes him seem way older than he should be. He shrugs, then pauses, before shaking his head. “Not really, no.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Steve offers. He might not be the best at comforting, but he at least knows what Lucas has been through, what he has seen. Sometimes it’s enough to be understood.

“Max has been distant lately,” Lucas says. “She barely talks to us in the hallways of school and we never see her anywhere else. It’s like she’s a ghost sometimes. I don’t know what’s happening. She seemed fine a few weeks ago.”

Steve has noticed the same thing, but he doesn’t want to worry Lucas more when it’s obviously eating at him. So he takes a moment to think. Then he replies: “Max is a tough cookie. She just needs a little bit. Billy’s birthday is coming up, I’m sure that must mess with her a little. She’ll reach out again when she’s ready.”

“You really think so?” Lucas asks, finally looking up from where he’d hung his head. It’s a little like he’s perking up with the glimmer of hope.

In all honesty, Steve isn’t sure. He likes to think she will, but he could be wrong. However, he doesn’t want to rip away the hope he has given Lucas, so he just smiles: “Yeah, I do.”

Lucas smiles back and Steve feels a little guilty, but also glad to see him smile like that. Lucas has already been through much, much more than he should. He wants Lucas to be happy. He still remembers how terrified he looked as Billy had him pinned. It still appears in his nightmares, the what if he hadn’t been on time plaguing him.

So, he pushes away the guilt and moves the topic to something more fun. “You’re becoming really good at avoiding my blocks. A little more and I won’t stand a chance against you.”

“Thanks,” Lucas huffs with a small laugh. “Now if only coach saw that and I could be on the court next game instead of being a bench warmer.”

“Don’t be to hard on yourself, man,” Steve tells him. “You already made varsity in your freshman year, that’s huge. Most don’t make it until the second semester sophomore and then they’re still bench warmers, because coach wants to give the older players scouting chances. Trust me, next year you’re going to be star player.”

“You think so?” Lucas asks.

“Yeah, I do,” Steve says, this time not lying. Lucas is a talent. He adds as a joke: “I might not have been on the team in a while, but I still remember Jason’s try outs for varsity when I was star player in junior year. All his talk is a recent development.”

Lucas is smiling at the start of the sentence, but as he goes on, he sees something dim in how he holds himself. Steve doesn’t think he said anything to get that reaction and frowns: “Hey, where is your mind going off to?”

“The team,” Lucas says, sounding a little hesitant.

Steve still remembers what dicks the team used to be, both when he was on it and when he got bullied away. His heart stops beating as a fear seizes him. “Are they being assholes to you?” he asks immediately. “Because I still have the nail bat and I can have a talk with them.”

“No, no, not that,” Lucas quickly says, which is good to hear, but there is something in his tone that makes Steve suspicious.

“But…” he prompts when Lucas keeps his lips together as if he is keeping something in.

Lucas looks away and rubs the back of his head. He lets out a deep breath, hyping himself up, before looking back at Steve and admitting: “They’re just saying really messed up things about you.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Oh,” Steve says out loud, he didn’t expect that. Well, he did. He had just hoped the shine would have worn off by the time the kids got Hawkins High, but apparently it’s still bad enough that it got to Lucas. Though Chrissy mentioned how Jason seemingly still has it out for him ever since she rejected him for Steve.

A flash of embarrassment goes through him as he imagines what the others on the basketball team might have said about him. He is well aware of what rumors those boys spread. About how he’s a fag, and a whore fag at that. That he’ll get on his knees for anyone willing to give him the time of day. That he was a filthy queer that stared in the locker rooms. That he was a pussy that hid behind a group of girls. How easily he goes down after a punch. How easily he takes it.

He has heard it all when he still walked those halls. He learned to ignore it and he learned to lie about it to the kids, because he didn’t want them to ever hear that about him. To have the image he held with them be tainted. But they had.

At least Lucas had, because if Max had heard Billy didn’t keep his promise, she would have been upset with Steve and come to him. And Dustin obviously wouldn’t have kept his mouth shut about it.

Fuck, Lucas knows those rumors.

Lucas has heard how Steve might be gay, something he has kept away from all the kids except Will, because Will needed to know it. And now he is still in that limbo, where he knows it about himself, but is working so hard to keep others from seeing.

What if Lucas is looking closer? What if he has guessed? What if all of them know? What if they’re all disgusted by it and that’s why they’ve gotten too busy to hang around Steve anymore?

He doesn’t know what Lucas sees in his face, but he looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up. Yet, he tries to comfort Steve with: “It’s not too bad.”

An involuntary laugh escapes Steve at the placating lie, the disbelief obvious. There is no way it’s not still terrible, but the fact that Lucas is trying to comfort him, eases his nerves a bit.

“Okay, so it is quite bad,” Lucas winces, wringing his hands. “Why didn’t you ever tell us what was happening at school?”

Steve scoffs, can’t help the reaction, and says: “Lucas, I would never drop my shit on a bunch of kids. You all had enough to deal with. I was doing fine anyway. It wasn’t that bad.”

“They’re calling you all sorts of slurs and saying that you’re going to die of AIDS, how is that okay, Steve?” Lucas exclaims, startling Steve with the volume of the outburst.

“Well, it’s not true, so it doesn’t matter,” Steve snaps back.

He doesn’t want to think about how he knows exactly what slurs Lucas is talking about, how they have always clung to him, adding weight to all that drags him down, because he knows they’re true, how he’s been scared shitless of AIDS ever since he last saw his father, even though he has been extra safe when he does fuck, and how those are girls, which make him uncomfortable, a thing he also doesn’t want to think about.

Lucas reels back again by how forcefully Steve says them and Steve internally cringes at how that probably doesn’t help his point, though he keeps a poker face despite it.

He studies Steve for a second and Steve practically holds his breath as he keeps it up, he hopes that Lucas will drop it. He doesn’t, instead, Lucas gets a little quieter. He looks at the ground, then glances back up at Steve and softly says: “But it still hurts, doesn’t it?”

The comment goes deeper than this conversation. It is a cry for recognition. A plea to be heard. To be seen in a pain. A pain that Lucas thinks they might share.

Steve might not be the smartest, but he’s also not an idiot. He knows why Billy went after Lucas but not Dustin for hanging around his sister, knows that fag isn’t the only slur the basketball team throws around, knows that Lucas will hear that too, even if they don’t target him directly and how that can still hurt.

And while he doesn’t want to say anything that might be suspicious, Lucas is one of his kids and he needs to not be alone right now, so he matches Lucas’ quiet tone and admits: “Yeah, it does hurt, a lot. And it fucking sucks.”

Lucas looks relieved by the admission, though an air of sadness still hangs around them. Neither of them can fully know what the other is going through, but for a moment they aren’t alone in their misery and sometimes that can be enough. Lucas huffs out a small laugh and agreed: “It does fucking suck.”

“Don’t tell your mom I used that word,” Steve jokingly threatens. He is glad he was able to help Lucas feel better, but he needs this conversation to be over now. To not have Lucas go poking further than this.

“I won’t,” Lucas laughs. “Besides, she’s heard worse from Dustin.”

“Dustin got some of that from me, I have to be honest there,” Steve comments with a grin, making Lucas laugh more.

Steve wants to move on to other things, however, something is still gnawing on him. He is not there to protect these kids and he cares so much about them, so he needs to be assured that Lucas will be okay on his own in the basketball team. “The others aren’t targeting you, right?”

“No,” Lucas assures him. “Patrick has taken me under his wing a bit, which is nice. He’s also black and good friends with Jason, so they mostly leave us be.” He’s quiet for a second, then adds: “It’s some of the other kids that get targeted. I never really do anything and I feel like I’m the worst because of it.”

“Don’t,” Steve immediately says and Lucas looks surprised, as if he expected Steve to say something different. After all the times Steve threw himself between them and danger that is pretty valid, but that is so much different than this. That isn’t a permanent slight in the eyes of the town, Steve knows how that feels. It is very much not the same.

“Don’t?” Lucas repeats with a confused frown.

“It’s not worth it, trust me,” Steve tells him. “The next time they rag on a poor kid, who also doesn’t deserve it or talk shit about me, you stay quiet, you hear me? You keep your mouth shut. Me and some random kid, aren’t worth being an outcast over. I know it sucks, but it’s how to survive high school. Promise me?”

“Okay, yeah, I promise,” Lucas says, unsettled by the intensity.

Steve isn’t under the illusion that he is the first to say this to Lucas. His parents must be worried sick about him as well, but Lucas might be more willing to listen to Steve than his uncool parents, especially since Steve has a hero status in Lucas’ mind. So, he says it anyway.

“Good, just keep your head down and stick to Patrick,” Steve nods. “Patrick cool?”

“Yeah,” Lucas says with a small smile. “He’s a little withdrawn, but he has this sick fade away long shot that he’s been teaching me.”

“Sounds great. Show me?” Steve asks, getting up and holding the ball out to Lucas. It’s a way to get out of their heads again, away from the heavy conversation, something Steve thinks they both need right now.

Fortunately, Lucas takes the ball with a grin, both of them getting back in position, so that Lucas can show off the shot. It’s a fun way to forget about all the bad and Steve sees himself in Lucas, how he used sports to get out of his head for a bit. That afternoon, he vows to go to all of his games, even if he’s on the bench every time.

Over the following weeks, Steve is there at all Lucas’ games as the team slowly climbs their way up through the championships. Steve has to admit they’re good, they might stand a chance at winning this year.

Meanwhile, life goes on in other places as well, in its own rickety way.

Chrissy cancels more and more, it’s been weeks since they stunted together, even if they finally got their handstand stunt. Steve misses it more than he wants to admits. Misses Chrissy even more, only glimpsing at her during Lucas’ games, her smiles looking fake and her cheer uniform loose.

Steve worries about her, but knows it isn’t his place to talk about her struggles with Robin. So, he just gives Robin a little too many snacks and hopes she knows how to share. However, Chrissy is no longer sitting with Robin during lunch, another worrying development that has other consequences as well.

“She totally knows!” Case in point. Robin is hanging over the counter, looking defeated. She has been the only person not falling apart around Steve and he needs her to be okay. He hates to see her sad like this. Especially when he can’t fix it.

“How would she know?” he counters, knowing it’s not enough, but having to try anyway.

Robin glares at him, before throwing her hands about: “I don’t know, dingus. Maybe I stared at her too long or said something embarrassing and weird, because I keep on humiliating myself around her and she caught on and now she hates me.”

“Chrissy doesn’t hate you,” Steve insists. He is 99% sure of that, despite the lack of contact between them now. There is something else going on with her, he just doesn’t know what and that bothers him to all hell.

“Did she tell you that?” Robin counters.

“You know she didn’t,” Steve glares at her, before taking a deep calming breath. They both have been on edge and the last thing he wants to do, is snap at her and have yet another friendship fall apart.

Robin is observing him and when he looks at her again, normally this time, she says: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to push.”

“It’s okay,” he sighs. “It’s not like you’re in control of her pulling away.”

“And what if I am? What if I’m right and she did notice my crush on her and now she’s disgusted and pulling away? What then?” Robin rambles anxiously.

“Then she’s a dick and we don’t want to be friends with her,” Steve states, because that is obvious in his brain. “But that’s not the reason, she’s too nice for that.”

“You sure?” Robin asks.

“I’m sure,” Steve confirms.

They’re both quiet for a second, then Robin speaks up, her voice an odd mix of disbelief, awe and skepticism, as she asks: “You would really drop her if she wasn’t okay with my crush?”

It’s an echo of when Steve figured her out, when she was unsure if Steve would be okay with it and it still amazes him that she doesn’t know that he would do anything for her. “Yeah, I would. Of course, I would. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” Robin shrugs, not meeting his eyes. “You two have been friends longer than we have. I wouldn't hold it against you.”

“Robs, 1) if she is homophobic, I don’t want to be friends with her and 2) you’re my platonic soulmate, I’m always going to put you first,” he says, putting as much intent and genuineness in his voice as he can in the hope she’ll believe him.

“Platonic soulmates, eh?” she grins, not fully acknowledging it, but tentatively daring to believe by not countering it or questioning him.

“With a capital P,” Steve grins back. “You’re stuck with me now, Buckley.”

“I’m holding you to that, Stevie,” she replies, knowing he doesn’t like his last name.

The next day are the championships. Steve is in Family Video alone, waiting until he can go clock out and get the girl he’s bringing for show. He’s a little self aware around the basketball team since his talk with Lucas, so it will be good to be seen with a girl on his arm.

He’s bored out of his mind, so glad when the phone rings. He picks up: “You’ve reached Family Video, this is Steve. How-”

“Yeah, Steve,” Dustin cuts of his standard greeting. “I need you to play DnD with me and the rest of Hellfire tonight.”

“What? Why?” Steve replies, unsure why they would be playing tonight.

“Because it’s the ending of the campaign and we need someone else,” Dustin says. “Eddie is on our ass to find someone, please.”

At the mention of Eddie’s name, a shiver goes through his body. He cannot face Eddie. Not like that. The need to hide away comes over him and he throws out: “No, I can’t, I have a date.”

“Just move your date this one time,” Dustin demands. “Come on.”

Usually Steve is a pushover and would easily bend to that demand, but he can’t. Lucas is playing tonight, it’s the championship. And it’s Eddie. Eddie, who hates him. Eddie, who makes him feel things. And he just can’t.

His brain goes to a patented method and a little meanly he says: “What? To hang out with you and Eddie “The Freak” Munson? Uh, yeah, I’ll pass.”

The moment he says it, he hates himself. He vowed not to do this anymore and now he is. Fuck, why is he like that?

Dustin doesn’t notice, luckily, and just says: “You’re just jealous because I have another older male friend.”

And a part of Steve is jealous. Jealous that Dustin gets to hang out with Eddie without feeling like he wants to explode, either from horniness, fear or embarrassing mushy feelings. Feelings that also make him want to hide away.

He knows he has them, that they won’t go away, but every time he thinks he can accept that, another voice speaks up and crushes it. It’s a constant battle and at this point, he isn’t even sure what team he’s on.

But he doesn’t tell Dustin that, instead he says: “Iew. Ugh. Whatever,” before making up some story about really digging this girl, whose name he has already forgotten, before pretending a customer comes in, so he can hang up on Dustin.

It’s not until, he’s getting ready to go for the game, that he is centered enough to realize that Dustin was looking for a replacement for Lucas. That Eddie isn’t postponing the session so Lucas can be there and make the championship.

If they were still friends, he would’ve said something about it to Eddie. Then he realizes that this might be Eddie outing his anger at Steve and all his jockiness that he showed Eddie when he stomped all over him. And he feels a little sicks with it.

Fuck, hopefully spring break will be what they all need to get off this roller coaster again. A little bit of a break away from it all will be good for them.

~~

A/N:

Robin being surprised that Steve wants to be her friend, that she is also friends with Chrissy, that they want her around, it’s breaking my heart </3

Also Lucas deserves so much more and the Duffers keep doing him dirty, I’m so mad about that actually >:(

(Disclaimer: I am white and probably not the best to write about this, but it wanted to note the fact that Lucas is dealing with other shit too in there as well. Hopefully that came across okay and if I said anything offensive, please let me know)

#rr writing #stranger things #steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson #robin buckley #platonic stobin #stobin #buckingham #chrissy cunningham #cheerleader steve harrington au #lucas sinclair #the party #the party stranger things #st season 4 #dustin henderson #max mayfield #jonathan byers #tw: eating disorder #tw: homophobia #tw: f slur #tw: internalized homophobia #tw: racism #tw: bullying mention #tw: aids crisis mention

[xerith-42]

oo ship idea!! asch x phys is a popular one:)

I'm assuming you meant Rhys, and while I'm not surprised this is a popular ship, it's one I've never written.

First time for everything

Asch's castle was depressingly empty. It was something Rhys tried not to think about too often, busying himself with studies or stocking up the library he was allowed to access. It always infuriated him that the Royal Library was shut off from him, but he never expressed such a thing to anyone. Just spend his days wandering the empty castle, stocking the boring shelves of this library. He never expressed his dissatisfaction with this empty castle. He still considered himself lucky to even be in this castle half the time.

Rhys was smart. He never doubted that. He was able to be humble about that fact, yet there was still that lingering part of him that feared he somehow didn't deserve to be here. That he had somehow faked his way through an entire apprenticeship and relationship with the prince of Daemos. It sounded ridiculous, but it never stopped him from thinking it.

"Are you busy?" Asch suddenly asked. Rhys jumped with surprise, looking up from the page he nearly had his nose buried in. Asch was leaning over the table in the library, his hair falling forward slightly as he looked into Rhys' eyes. One major thing made Rhys doubt his entire career path. His never ending crush on the Prince of Daemos. How could he be his right hand man when he wanted to court him?

"N-Not particularly," Rhys finally stuttered out. "Why do you ask?"

"I..." Asch looked around, before pulling a chair over and sliding into it naturally. Suddenly the same height made the scene more intimate. It didn't help Rhys' ongoing crisis when he heard how low Asch's voice could be when he whispered. "I need something from the Royal Library."

"Why are you asking me? I'm forbidden to go in there."

"But you want to."

"That is besides the point."

"Rhys, I don't know how to navigate a library, you do."

"Not one I've never been in." Asch rolled his eyes, and that managed to make a cheeky smile break out across Rhys' face. He wanted to help Asch with this more than anything. He just had to put up a bit of a fight so the prince wouldn't get suspicious at his eagerness to break castle rules.

"Please, Rhys, I need your help with this." That single word was Rhys' weakness. Anytime Asch said that, Rhys was guaranteed to help, and Asch knew it. "Please." Rhys let out a sigh, still pretending that he had to be talked into this.

"What are we looking for?" Asch's face broke out into a smile as he reached into his shirt and pulled out an old worn down piece of paper. On it was a list of ingredients, only about half of them Rhys recognized. It was in Lady Grandma's handwriting. Asch pointed to the bottom part of the list, three different book titles, all marked as being in the Royal Library.

"Lady Grandma has tasked me to start gathering the items on this list. Some will be easier than others, but I figured you could help me with these." Rhys looked over the rest of the page.

"What is this for?" Asch flinched, tempted to pull the page away. Then again, if he was going through with this, Rhys would find out eventually.

"I'll tell you later. We've got a short window to work on right now." Asch somehow leaned in even closer, and Rhys had to fight every part of his body that told him to kiss Asch. Not important. "Bish and my brother will be gone for another three moons, and Lady Grandma said she's willing to open the library for us, but we still have a very short amount of time before someone gets suspicious of how long we've been gone."

"Sounds like we need to get to work."

"Meet me in the east wing, last door before the Royal Hall, just as the moon rises again."

"You have my word I'll be there, Prince Asch." Asch got this look to him, not quite the cocky grin Rhys was used to. it seemed... softer. Like he knew something Rhys didn't, but kept it to himself.

"I'm sure you will."

And when the moon rose, Rhys was waiting nearby the library, book in hand as he leaned against the wall. He was at least trying to act casual. Trying. When Asch slid up next to him and their shoulders bumped against one another, he could tell he was failing. Just their shoulders bumping together was enough to have him blushing like an idiot and struggling to hold his book up.

"Ten seconds," Asch whispered. A shiver went down Rhys' spine hearing his quiet voice directly in his ear. He didn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded, and counted. Ten seconds past, and they heard the sound of the Royal Library doors being opened. Asch suddenly grabbed Rhys' hand and took off, causing Rhys to nearly trip over himself, only catching his footing once his book had been abandoned. He'd come for it later.

Not much else mattered when he and Asch were racing hand in hand through the Royal Library, ducking past a shelf before they paused, backs against the case to catch their breaths. Asch shoved the paper into Rhys' hands, and while he initially struggled to read the titles, he had an easier time. All of them books on human souls and magic.

"Know where they are?" Asch asked quietly.

"Yes. They'll be hidden, back corner, left side," Rhys answered, and the moment the words left his mouth, Asch took off again. this time Rhys managed to keep up, though his eyes wandered as they raced through the musty library. Asch stopped suddenly, making Rhys slam into his back. "Prince Asch, why--"

Asch brought an arm around him and dragged him into the nearest alcove, before putting a hand over Rhys' mouth. He kept his gaze elsewhere, listening for whatever might be a threat to them getting found out. All Rhys could focus on was how warm Asch's hand was, how beautiful he looked towering over him, and how close their bodies were. Their chests were nearly touching in the cramped space, and it seemed like Asch didn't notice.

Eventually he let out a sigh of relief and dropped his hand, turning to look down at the daemos below him. Then he realized how close they were to each other, and how dark Rhys' cheeks were. Oh. Asch smiled again, that same soft grin, and this time he let out a muted laugh. Only loud enough for them to hear.

"What are you laughing at?" Rhys asked, his voice coming out more pouty than he intended. Asch let out that laugh again, leaning in close enough that Rhys could feel his breath on his face.

"How much you want to kiss me," Asch replied, bringing a hand to Rhys' chin. "Don't think I haven't seen the way you look at me." Rhys' breathing picked up, his hands digging into the shelf behind him.

"I-i haven't a clue what you're talking about, P-Prince."

"Sure you don't. That's why you're pushing me away and telling me to stop, right?" Rhys went silent, and that was all the invitation Asch needed to close the minuscule distance between their lips. Rhys' previously frozen hands jumped to Asch's cheeks, pulling him in closer, leaning into the kiss like it was his last moment alive. It had been two seconds and he was already addicted to the feeling. He needed it like he needed to breathe.

And to his absolute delight, Asch returned a similar affection, pulling Rhys closer by his hips and holding him in place. Their quest of whatever they were doing was long forgotten in Rhys' mind, just pushing into Asch hoping for another second of this sweet bliss. The sound of shuffling from nearby made them both freeze, eyes wide open and looking around, lips still locked. Another shuffle, and then a skittering away. Asch finally pulled away, but he kept his hands where they were.

"The Guardians are growing restless. We need to get going," He said, surprisingly calm given the scenario. All Rhys could notice was how pretty his cheeks looked when they were blushing that brightly. "Rhys, we need to go!"

"R-right, sorry, let's go!" Rhys said back, this time taking the lead as they approached the final bookcase. He barely managed to get his eyes to focus on the paper, and struggled even more to find the books in question. And for once it wasn't because of his awful sight. It was because he kept wanting to look at Asch's lips, to pull him into another kiss, to have another moment like that. He finally managed to find the three books, one of them a normal size he was used to, one significantly smaller, and the other nearing the weight of a hefty tome. Asch carried it without question.

It meant their escape was less romantic as they weren't running hand in hand anymore, but when they stumbled out of the library still breathing, it was worth it. The doors creaked closed behind them, and in the following silence they could both hear the others heavy breathing. Asch glanced down at Rhys, who looked up at him wide eyed and almost in awe.

"Let's get these to Lady Grandma's potion room," Asch instructed as he adjusted how he was carrying the tome. "And when we're done with that, I can take you back to my chambers."

"Y-Yes, Prince Asch."

#sdhfgjghfdj #okay they're cute #I admit it #I ship it #just a little #my inner demons #mid asch #mid rhys #aphblr #aphverse #aphmau #gay block men #my beloveds #gay romance #blurbs #romantic writing