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#we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had
aviangrian · 15 days
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thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!
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#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically#she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11#i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything#we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had#like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties!#she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w#she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs!#last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since#this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭#never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay#you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho#crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me#i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday#at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that#this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND#probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since#this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡
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seoheesoo · 16 days
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Modern AU! Kakashi is Naruto's guardian who meets his child's teacher for the first time and immediately falls in love with him
[Part 5]
Rin heard the sound of the door opening and walked out into the corridor.
“You are earlier than I expected,” - said the woman. - “Come on in.”
Kakashi took off his shoes and followed the woman into the kitchen.
“Naruto fell asleep not long ago. I think it’s better for you to spend the night in our house tonight, and tomorrow morning you will go home.”
Kakashi nodded.
“Go get changed while I prepare some tea.”
The man headed to the bedroom, opened the closet and pulled out Obito's household items. After quickly changing his clothes, he looked into Naruto's room. The child was fast asleep, hugging a pillow in his sleep. On the way to the kitchen, Kakashi also looked into the room. Obito rocked Yuki in his arms, who stubbornly refused to fall asleep. Kakashi grinned when he noticed his friend's doomed face and headed to the kitchen. Rin lowered the cup of aromatic tea in front of him and sat down opposite him.
“How did everything go?”
“Fine,” - Kakashi replied.
Rin hit his arm not too hard.
“I need details.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes.
“Come on, Kakashi, I spend almost 24 hours at home. Soothe my curiosity.”
Hatake knew that Rin was hiding her concern with a joking tone. The woman was worried about him and he didn’t mind calming her down a little.
“So how did it go?”
Kakashi took a deep breath.
“Perfect.”
“Perfect?” - the woman asked and raised her eyebrows in surprise. - “It’s unexpected to hear this from you.”
Hatake chuckled and leaned back in his chair.
“You know, I’ve never thought about a relationship seriously before,” - he suddenly admitted. - “You and Obito were always together and it was as if you were made for each other. Just like Minato nii-san and Kushina-san, as well as Jiraiya ji-san and Tsunade oba-san. I had thoughts about relationships, but after Naruto appeared I stopped thinking about it completely. My values have changed, I have invested all my time and all my strength in raising a child. It seemed like I didn’t need anything else. But when I met Guy…”
Kakashi fell silent. He shook his head with a slight smile on his face.
“Time seemed to stand still. I couldn't move and couldn't even think. I acted like a real idiot the first time we met. And I continued to disgrace myself every time we met. And I plucked up courage and asked him out on a date, but, to be honest, I was afraid. I was terribly afraid that I would ruin everything. And I didn’t want to ruin anything.”
“Oh, Kakashi,” - Rin covered his hand with her palm.
“But everything went well,” - the man said quickly. - “I controlled myself and didn’t act stupid. I told him about my past and learned a lot about his life. With every word he said, I began to like him more and more. Damn, Rin, I fell in love with him so quickly that it even scares me a little.”
Kakashi laughed softly and covered his face with his hands. Rin patted his shoulder reassuringly.
“What if I ruin everything?” - there was a muffled whisper of a man.
“Stop thinking about it,” - the woman said in a firm voice. - “You won’t ruin anything, I’m sure of that. There is no need to rush anywhere, but there is no need to slow down either. If you feel good together, then enjoy every moment and let everything happen in its own time.”
“You're right. Thank you, Rin.”
The woman smiled softly at her friend.
“I’m happy for you, Kakashi,” - she said sincerely. - “You deserve happiness.”
Kakashi returned her smile and, hearing footsteps, straightened up in his chair and changed his expression. Rin shook her head reproachfully and turned to her husband approaching the kitchen.
***
“Did you take everything?” - Kakashi asked Naruto, who was holding a huge green backpack in the shape of a frog, another gift from Jiraiya.
"Yes!"
“Great, let's go then.”
They left the house and walked to a nearby park. Two weeks passed before Kakashi managed to get the long-awaited day off from work. Not without the help of Shiranui. Kakashi looked warily towards the older man every day, but he made no attempt to start a serious conversation. Genma showed no signs at all that he knew about Kakashi and Guy's relationship, which could not but alarm Hatake even more. Why did Shiranui behave this way? Kakashi had not understood the man before, and now he had become an even greater mystery to him. Hatake shook his head, it's time to throw all unnecessary thoughts out of his head. He and Guy managed to set up another date and they agreed to spend it in the park with the children. Kakashi spent the whole morning calming himself down and putting himself in the right frame of mind. He still didn’t fully know how to behave with Guy, and there were also three children. Kakashi didn't have a very good relationship with people in general, and children were an even bigger problem. The only exceptions were Naruto and Yuki, his goddaughter, who was only a few months old. But Kakashi knew that as soon as Yuki grew up, she would torment him a lot in the future.
Naruto's presence had a calming effect on Kakashi, but still could not completely clear his mind of various thoughts. Hatake nervously moved his shoulder and quickened his pace. Once they arrived at the park, Kakashi found an empty spot and spread a large blanket on the soft green grass. Guy took charge of preparing food for the picnic, Kakashi was only required to bring drinks. Hatake had already managed to pull out all the juices from the bag and was now looking around restlessly. Naruto, sitting next to him, was bouncing excitedly in one place. This child was overjoyed when he heard that they were going on a picnic. And when he found out that Guy and several other children would be with them, he could no longer be calmed down. He excitedly ran around the house, collecting various toys that he planned to show to Guy's children. Kakashi watched his chaotic preparations with a slightly worried smile on his face. He had no doubt that Naruto would easily find a common language with children, but Kakashi himself…
“Guy sensei!” - Naruto's loud scream made Hatake flinch.
Kakashi turned around and noticed a man approaching. Guy's usual wide smile shone on his face. Kakashi, out of habit, glanced over his figure, noticing that today he was wearing a light T-shirt and loose pants. Kakashi then turned his gaze to the children walking next to the man. Neji walked to Guy's left, his light eyes with unreadable emotions looking straight at Kakashi. Hatake swallowed and looked at the girl walking next to him; TenTen, with an overly menacing look, walked next to Guy. Kakashi exhaled heavily and looked at Lee, who had a slight smile on his face. The boy raised his hand and waved at them in greeting. Kakashi felt a surge of relief. At least one child was quite friendly. Hatake believed that one out of three was a pretty good result.
“Hi,” - Guy greeted as they approached.
Kakashi nodded at him. The children stared at him unblinkingly. Naruto climbed between them and smiled brightly.
“Hello! My name is Namikaze Naruto! Are you Guy sensei’s children?”
It was impossible to resist Naruto's charms, Kakashi knew this from himself. Not even a couple of seconds had passed before the children had already turned their attention to the boy.
“Yes,” - Lee replied.
“Cool!” - Naruto's big blue eyes shone with delight. - “Your dad… I mean, Guy sensei is so cool!”
Kakashi sighed mentally. Guy smiled at the corner of his lips.
“Yes, you're right,” - TenTen replied and took a step forward. - “Tou-chan talked a lot about you. Do you want to go to play while the adults cook?”
Kakashi noticed her calm but firm tone of voice. Naruto nodded to her without any objections and all the children went to the nearby swing. Kakashi looked at them and exhaled heavily. After a couple of seconds, he felt Guy's hand on his lower back.
“Are you okay?” - asked the man.
Kakashi nodded.
“I’m a little nervous,” - he admitted.
“No need,” - Guy squeezed his tense shoulders reassuringly. - “Everything will be fine.”
“What if they don’t like me?” - the question escaped his lips before he could stop himself.
Guy turned him around to face him and gently touched his cheek with his palm. Kakashi looked fascinated into his deep, dark eyes.
“Kakashi, don't worry about it. They are my children and they love me, but they also respect me and my choices. You just need to get to know each other better, I am sure that with time they will love you too.”
Kakashi closed his eyes and leaned forward, hugging the man.
“You think so?”
“I'm sure of it.”
“Okay,” - Hatake felt the gentle kiss that Guy left on his neck.
“Let’s get some food ready before the kids get back.”
Guy pulled away and began pulling containers of food out of his bag. Kakashi felt a surge of confidence after Guy's words. He was pushing himself too hard. What could possibly go wrong? Kakashi wouldn't let anyone or anything ruin everything. Not now, when everything between them is still so fragile.
“Hey. Watch where you’re going,” - Kakashi heard a loud child’s voice and raised his head, looking for Naruto.
A tall boy, who looked to be about twelve years old, towered over Naruto, practically poking his finger in his face. Kakashi began to rise when he felt Guy's strong grip on his arm. Hatake raised one eyebrow questioningly. Guy shook his head and nodded towards the children. Kakashi turned his gaze to them. TenTen stepped forward and shielded Naruto with her body. The girl tilted her head slightly to the side and looked gloomily at the unfamiliar boy.
“Watch where you're going,” - she said. - “Or is your vision failing you?”
The boy irritably knitted his eyebrows on the bridge of his nose and straightened his shoulders, looking down at the girl.
“Who are you, brat?”
“I’m the one who will break your arm if you don’t turn around and leave here now.”
The boy looked at her with contempt, but then his gaze collided with Lee and Neji standing next to her. Realizing that he was in the minority, the boy snorted and walked away. TenTen rolled her eyes and turned to Naruto, who was looking at her with pure delight in his eyes.
“Can I call you TenTen nee-chan?” - the boy asked with a breath.
The girl laughed loudly and ruffled Naruto's hair slightly.
“Of course you can,” - she allowed.
“Did Guy sensei teach you how to fight?”
“Yes,” - Lee replied.
“Will you teach me to fight?” - Naruto asked TenTen.
“I’ll teach you,” - the girl promised. - “It’s not proper for any idiot to pester you. You need to learn to fight back.”
Kakashi watched the entire scene with pure shock on his face. Guy sitting next to him just smiled lightly. As Kakashi expected, the children quickly found a common language. A few minutes later, the slightly out of breath and flushed children fell tiredly onto the blanket. Kakashi handed each of them a glass of cool juice. The children quickly snacked on sandwiches and then ran off to play on the playground again. Hatake looked at Naruto's bright smile as he showed the children his toys and couldn't help but smile himself.
“You know, Naruto feels lonely very often,” - Kakashi said, moving closer to Guy and leaning his back against his broad chest. - “I often disappear at work and spend very little time with him. Almost from childhood, he often visited Obito and Rin. By the way, Obito is Sasuke's cousin, so Sasuke and his older brother Itachi also often visited Obito. Accordingly, Naruto and Sasuke have been friends for a very long time. Nowadays, Naruto also often stays with Obito and Rin if I have business, but just a few months ago they had a daughter. I think this could not but affect Naruto. He loves Yuki very much, he just dotes on her, but I know that he feels deprived, superfluous in their house. And I saw his look every time he looked at Sasuke and Itachi. He always missed this - family. Naruto always wanted siblings."
Kakashi looked at the beaming Naruto surrounded by Guy's children.
“I gave him a lot, but I still couldn’t make him truly happy.”
“Hey, stop it,” - Guy lifted Kakashi's face slightly, forcing him to look at him. - “Naruto is happy, believe me, I know it. And this is only your merit.”
Kakashi closed his eyes and smiled. He felt Guy's breath on his skin and reached out to him in anticipation, when suddenly the loud stomping of feet made him widen his eyes and pull away.
“We want to eat,” - Naruto drawled.
Guy handed everyone a bento containing food.
“Are we going to meet Genma Ji-chan next weekend?” - TenTen suddenly asked.
Kakashi choked on his rice. He never expected to hear someone call Genma “uncle”. TenTen gave him an unreadable look.
“He promised to be free at work,” - Guy replied.
The girl didn't look entirely pleased with this answer, but nodded. Lee and Naruto began to discuss something loudly, drawing Neji into their conversation. Guy collected the empty bentos and handed each child a drink.
“Thank you, tou-san,” - Neji took the bottle of juice.
“We’ll play a little more,” - Lee stood up from the blanket and extended his hand to Naruto.
The children quickly ran to the playground. Kakashi snuggled closer to the man again. Guy ran his hair through his fingers relaxingly.
“When will we meet next time?” - Hatake asked.
“When do you want it?” - he heard a counter question from Guy.
“Tomorrow, every day for the rest of our lives,” - Kakashi wanted to answer.
“I will compare the schedule with Shiranui.”
“Fine.”
Kakashi found Guy's hand and intertwined their fingers.
“I can take Naruto to my house tomorrow, if you don’t mind,” - Guy suddenly suggested.
Kakashi froze.
“I don’t mind,” - he answered slowly. - “Are you don’t mind?”
“I suggested it myself,” - Guy laughed and quickly kissed the man on the temple. - “What do you want for dinner?”
“I’m not picky,” - Hatake said in a hoarse voice. - “I’ll eat everything you give me.”
Guy laughed again. Kakashi felt irrationally proud of how easily he could make the man laugh.
“Then I’ll make ramen.”
“You know exactly how to win Naruto’s heart,” - Kakashi noted.
“I’m trying,” - Guy lifted Kakashi’s face by the chin and approached him. - “What about yours?”
“M-m?” - Kakashi blinked in confusion, unable to take his eyes off the man’s lips.
“What about your heart?” - Guy whispered. - “Am I on the right track?”
“Hell, yes,” - Kakashi breathed and covered his lips with his, whispering into the kiss. - “You stole my heart the day we first met.”
Guy raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“Don’t you dare give it back,” - Kakashi threatened and pulled him into a kiss again, feeling Guy’s smile.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6
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daenqyu · 3 years
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— they accidentally confess to their crush
includes: shinsou, bakugou, midoriya, todoroki and hawks
warnings: swearing
a/n: thank you for requesting <3 i love this idea! it’s so cute🥺 also, hawks’ may be a little longer than the others because it’s my first time writing for him and i got a bit excited👉🏼👈🏼 
ps: i don’t mind writing for hawks if it’s a headcannon and/or texts! so feel free to request him :D and yes, this is a repoost because the algorithm hates me.
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @tetsuruo )
shinsou hitoshi:
it would happen so randomly and out of the blue
as i said before, i think shinsou is a really reserved and quiet type of guy
but that seems to vanish whenever he’s around you
he’s more talkative and constantly goes out with you so you guys can have some quality time together
you also make him really nervous 
he’s pretty chill with everyone and seems to not give a fuck about most things
but with you?
that’s a whole different story 
whenever you keep your gaze stuck on him when he’s talking and his eyes meet yours, his heart never fails to do backflips because fuck you’re so cute
(oh to have shinsou think i’m cute D:)
ok back to the actual hc,,, 
you two were hanging out in your room, listening to music and just talking 
even tho your best friends, shinsou never really tells you much about his personal life
of course you know the basics like his hobbies and all his favorite things
but he never talks to you about...crushes or anything 
and you don’t like that because :( friends are supposed to tell each other this stuff, right? 
it’s fun and makes the bond even stronger
so you decide to ask him because why not?
“hey shinsou?” 
he’s sitting down next to you on your bed, your legs draped over his
which makes him feel all warm inside
it’s stupid and definitely not a big deal, 
but it’s little things like this that make him fall more and more for you
“yes?” 
“do you have a crush?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him in a teasing way, although he’s not even looking your way
a part of you is nervous to hear his response 
because unbeknownst to shinsou, you reallyyy like him
and have been crushing on him for quite some time now, but since you’re so sure the feelings are one sided, you don’t tell him
he’s too invested on the game he’s playing on your switch, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he concentrates
so he almost misses your question
and when he does answer, he’s not even paying attention to the words that leave his mouth
“apart from you? no”
it takes him a good minute to process what he said
meanwhile you’re sitting there like :o
you certainly weren’t expecting THAT
like it’s a good thing!!!! but you’re kinda flustered 
especially when shinsou finally looks up at you, eyes widened in surprise at his own bluntness as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say now
“wait! i didn’t mean it like that!”
“you didn’t?”
he notices the slight pain in your voice and the way you move away from him slowly and he’s quick to apologize 
“shit, okay...yes i like you but i didn’t say anything because i don’t want to make things weird between us or ruin what we have right now”
he’s looking everywhere but you
because he doesn’t exactly want to face you when you reject him
but you don’t ???
instead you giggle and before he can ask you what’s so funny, you climb on his lap to hug him, causing him to blush furiously 
“i like you too, toshi”
the nickname makes him hug you even tighter while he hides his face on your neck 
it was such a cute confession and even when you two start going out, you never stop bringing it up
which makes shinsou extremely embarrassed 
“hey remember when you confessed and-”
“y/n, we’ve talked about this”
“oh come on! you were so adorable”
he pouts at you 
“were?”
people think he looks so scary but he’s actually a whole ass baby
you roll your eyes before leaning down to give him a sweet kiss, 
“you’re such a baby”
“hm, your baby”
“oh my god you did not”
yeah no, he’s in love with you👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @bakugousmyboy )
bakugou katsuki:
i feel like it would be pretty difficult to have bakugou accidentally confess directly to you
he knows how to control himself and his emotions so i doubt he’d actually ever do something like this
however,
he’s not that good at hiding his crush on you and mostly everyone on class 1A knows the boy is an absolute sucker for you
except you because apparently you think he’s just being nice
and everyone else is like wtf???? 
like he’s ALWAYS screaming at everyone 
but when it’s you he doesn’t 
in fact, sometimes he even lowers his voice so it won’t bother you 
so that behavior is the one that caused him to be stuck in the situation he is right now
he sat in the common room with kirishima and kaminari, trying to eat his food in peace but the two idiots, as he likes to call them, wouldn’t shut up
he had completely blocked out both of their voices, focusing on finishing his meal and getting the hell away from them
until he heard your name being mentioned 
“dude when are you gonna ask y/n out? everyone knows how much you like her  so might as well you know,” kirishima bumps his shoulder against the blonde, only to receive a glare. “get some action”
“yeah bakubro, she’s super cute too” kaminari buts in and bakugou is about to punch them both in the face
“shut the fuck up. i don’t like her” bakugou scoffs
“but you’re such a softie for her”
“huh?! i treat her the same as i treat all of you extras!” oh but he knows he’s lying, you can’t even compare to any of your annoying classmates 
kirishima smirks, “i’m pretty sure you’ve never once, raised your voice at her”
“so? that doesn’t mean shit”
kaminari looks at kirishima and the redhead nods at him, giving him the green light
“well since you don’t like her, you wouldn’t mind if i ask her out? because i’ve been wanting to-” kaminari can’t even finish his sentence before bakugou grabs him by the collar of his shirt
kaminari yelps, looking over at his other friend for help but he moves his head quickly, knowing better than to get involved 
“you try and make a move on her and i swear to God i’ll blast you all the way across japan, dunce face”
bakugou’s voice is threatening and low, and kaminari knows he means every word so he quickly raises his arms in defeat and nods his head
“okay, okay! i swear i won’t”
little do they know that you’ve been standing behind them for a while now
you’re happy to know your feelings are reciprocated 
but of course you want to tease bakugou about it
“hm did my ears deceive me or does boom boom boy have a crush on me?” 
kirishima and kaminari take that as their cue to run away to their rooms, leaving you two alone
“tch, how long have you been standing there?” even as he glares you down, he can’t hide the blush on his cheeks 
he didn’t want you to find out this way
or at all tbh
you walk over to him, a wide smile on your lips
“long enough”
afterwards you ask him if he wants to go watch a movie with you the next day and he’s lowkey mad because he wanted to ask you on a date first, but he doesn’t say no
you end up having way more fun than expected and you actually confirmed that bakugou was a softie for you 
(turns out you were the last one to find out because literally everyone else knew)
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )
midoriya izuku:
OKAY HE’D BE THE MOST FLUSTERED OUT OF ALL OF THEM
he can barely function around girls in general so like, what does that tell you?
he likes you so much but he’s so scared 
but he’s also so sweet to you even before you start dating oml
midoriya is a sweetheart, we all know this
and he pays so much attention to you
like if you are the mall one day and you see something you really like but can’t buy it for whatever reason well…
a few days later he gets it for you
he would say something along the lines of, “you seemed to really like it so i got it for you”
“you didn’t have to, izuku!”
“but i wanted to”
you’ll try to pay him back in some sort of way but he absolutely refuses
he loves pampering you
yet whenever you try to do the same he doesn’t let you and it’s: ✨annoying✨
anyways,
you were supposed to go to the movies
but midoriya had forgotten he had some homework to do, which was due the next day
“i’m so sorry y/n! i completely forgot, but i promise i’ll finish quickly” he tried to reassure you and you chuckle at the boy, so cute
“it’s okay, izuku. i don’t mind waiting”
you lay down on his bed, trying your best to keep your eyes open 
but as much as you tried, you eventually fell asleep against the soft sheets, your best friend’s bed being just too comfortable 
midoriya sat on his desk chair, writing down the answers as fast as he could so you guys could go watch the movie you were so excited about
he let out a sigh of relief when he finished, before taking his phone out to check the time
6:37PM, the movie starts at 7PM so we still have time
he stood up to tell you he had finished, but was met with your sleeping figure
your eyes were closed and soft snores left your slightly parted lips, hands gripping his sheets to your chest
the curly haired boy almost combusted at the sight
you looked so peaceful, so pretty
a smile grazed his lips as he made his way over to the bed
he sat down beside you, quietly admiring your features 
feeling the mattress dip thanks to his weight, you began to wake up, but quickly shut your eyes when you noticed midoriya was looking at you
truth be told, you just wanted to scare him by suddenly jumping
but his next words made your breath hitch
one of his hands moved up to your face, resting it gently against your cheek as his thumb massaged the skin
your heartbeat was out of control and you forced yourself to calm your breathing so he wouldn’t notice you were awake 
his touch was so gentle and sweet, you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away
“i wish i could tell you how beautiful you are” he whispered and if you hadn’t been so close to him, you probably wouldn’t have heard him
after hearing him say that you couldn’t stay still
you opened your eyes, a smile quickly spreading across your features as you turned around to face the green haired boy
midoriya almost had a heart attack when you moved, hoping you hadn’t heard him
but based on the mischievous grin you wore, he knew you had
“well you just did”
“y-you were awake?!”
“yup, i’m glad i was tho”
hE’S INTERNALLY SCREAMING
your gaze is flirtatious and you’re still grinning and he’s just >_<
“now let’s go or we’ll be late!” 
midoriya can only nod before following you outside
once you’re on your way to the movie theater, you notice midoriya fidgeting with his fingers, his eyes glued to his shoes
you smile as you suddenly take his hand in yours, interlacing your fingers together 
midoriya looks at you with a nervous expression, what is she doing?
“you know, you’re beautiful too”
you were looking at him with nothing but love in your eyes and he felt so embarrassed yet excited at the same time
because holy fuck you just called him beautiful AND held his hand???
he thinks it can’t get any better than this
and then it does when you kiss him a few weeks later😳🤚🏼
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @ambershaydeoffical )
todoroki shouto:
like bakugou, i don’t really think he’d be clumsy enough to accidentally confess
however, he does like to speak his mind and isn’t afraid to do so
he’s just really honest and blunt
way too honest 
which gets him in trouble sometimes but oh well, that’s just the way he is and everyone is pretty used to his personality by now
though, after figuring out he liked you as more than a friend, he started to think more before talking
sometimes you liked to get his opinion on your outfits and/or hairstyles
so you’d drag him to you room and force him to be honest and tell you which one he liked most
it doesn’t matter what you wear, you always look beautiful 
he wants to say that, but instead he goes:
“they all look good, i think the purple shirt really fits you tho”
“i was thinking the same thing!”
he doesn’t want to scare you off or make things weird
so he forces himself to hold back on his bluntness 
at least when he’s with you
but one day he just can’t help himself 
you were on your way back to the dorms after a tiring day at school
todoroki walked next to you, eyes glancing over to you from time to time so you knew he was listening\
you were currently rambling about how shitty your love life was
claiming that there must be something wrong with you since no one seemed to pay attention to you- at least romantically 
“i mean seriously, am i doing something wrong or is everyone i’ve met just not for me??” 
you had your cheeks puffed out, a pout on your lips as you kicked the small rocks on the floor
todoroki smiled softly at your complaints, thinking irony could be quite funny sometimes 
until you spoke up again,
“maybe i’m just too ugly or boring, that’d make more sense”
todoroki almost stops dead in his tracks to see if you have a fever 
how could you say that????
you’re so gorgeous to todoroki, and interesting 
you’re probably the first girl he’s ever liked this much in his life
and you have the audacity to doubt your worth just because other people can’t seem to appreciate you??
uh uh, he’s not having it
and so, the words come out before he can even register them properly
“if you were as ugly as you say are then, i don’t think i’d like you as much as i do”
your eyes widened and you stopped walking, wondering if you had heard him right
todoroki stops walking too, and once he realizes what happened, he’s looking away, trying to come up with a valid excuse as to why he said that
you, however, can’t stop staring at him
finding the way he glares at the ground adorable
a sense of happiness takes over your whole body when he doesn’t say anything to deny his sudden confession 
because he cannot lie to you
you walk towards todoroki until you’re standing right in front of him and before he can even question what you’re doing, you plant a sweet kiss against his cheek
“good thing the feeling is mutual”
your words make him smile and he looks so happy
probably the happiest he’s ever been
and you feel proud of being the one responsible for that pretty smile of his
neither of you really rush into making things official 
but the way todoroki lets you cuddle on his left side whenever you’re cold or how he waits for you every morning so you can walk together to class makes it more than clear that he really likes you
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )
takami keigo (hawks)
he’d be the type to not give a fuck about it
like he already confessed so what can he do?
nothing. exactly
he’s so cocky and flirty the whole time oml
he’d be shocked for a few seconds, but after seeing you were way more flustered than him, he’d just start teasing you
in a loving way of course
he’s also surprised you hadn’t noticed earlier on, considered how much he flirts with you, but then again, that’s part of his personality so
kinda makes sense you didn’t suspect anything
but he’s so cute and soft for you 🥺
okok so it happened the same day you got your results for your midterms
(you’re a college student here lol)
you had studied your ass off for this tests
staying up until 4AM and having to ditch your friends when they invited you to go out
so you were really positive
you squealed when your teacher hands you back the papers and you see the grade on the right corner
you felt happy to know that all your hard work wasn't in vain
the nerves you had been feeling since the day you took the midterms quickly vanished and were replaced with the feeling of pride
as you walked out of the building, you dialed the person who you wanted to share the news most with
he picked up after the second ring
“what’s up?” his voice was raspy and you ignored the butterflies that appeared in your stomach at the sound
“hey, i have great news!”
“care to elaborate?”
“you’ll find out when i get to your house”
“oh? and who said you could come over?” his tone is teasing and you can practically hear the smirk on his face, which makes you roll your eyes
“i did, now bye. i’ll be there in five minutes and order some pizza to celebrate” you don’t even get hear his complaints because you’ve already hung up
anyone who saw the way you two acted with each other would automatically think you guys were a couple
you were rather affectionate with each other; occasionally holding hands while you walked down the streets and even calling each other by your first names
that was just the bond you two had, and you loved it
he brought you so much comfort
it was almost ridiculous the way he was able to make you smile by simply calling or texting you
you had grown quite attached to the number 2 hero, but you constantly told yourself you needed to snap out of it
because you were friends
nothing more and nothing less
oh but how you wished there was more to your relationship than just that
you shook your head, as if that could help you get rid of the thoughts
true to your word, you soon found yourself outside of keigo’s house
the college you went to wasn’t that far away from there so
you pushed the doorbell and waited around two minutes before a sleepy looking keigo opened the door
his hair was messy and the way he rubbed his eyes and kept yawning let you know he probably had been taking a nap
you scoff, “were you sleeping?” you ask him as you walk into his home, smiling at the familiar scent
he chuckles from behind you, following you into his living room, “maybe, but you woke me up”
“can’t believe your lazy ass earned the number two spot”
“what can i say? it’s a talent,” he shrugs before sitting down next to you on the couch, resting his face on his hand. “so, what’s the good news?”
“so you know i took my midterms last friday, right?” keigo nods. “well, i got my results today” he raises his eyebrows in surprise and waits as you look for the papers inside your bag
once you get them out, you place them in front of your face so he can see for himself
keigo smiles proudly and it only widens when you look up at him expectantly, biting your lower lip
“holy fuck, that’s amazing! you did so good dove”
the nickname makes you weak on the knees but you’re quick to brush it off
you should be used to it, since keigo has been calling you that for quite some time now, yet it never fails to make your heart beat insanely fast
you nod excitedly and put the papers down before you start talking about your experience
keigo can’t help but admire you
you look so happy and cute
it makes him want to kiss you
he wants to shut you up by kissing you, and it sound mean and disrespectful but you just look so gorgeous 😡
and instead of randomly kissing you, he blurts out a confession
“math was probably the hardest but i managed to pass it too, surprisingly, so i-”
he doesn’t even know what you’re talking about anymore, too focused on your smile
“God i like you so much”
you shut up instantly
did you hear that right?
or was your mind playing tricks on you?
keigo looks away momentarily, before locking eyes with you and tilting his head to the side, waiting for a reaction
which he gets soon after because you can’t handle the way he’s looking at you
you look away, hiding your face the best you can
“w-what did you say?”
he smirks after hearing the stutter in your voice
he gets closer to you, until he’s right in front of your face, before saying:
“i like you, y/n”
you don’t know what to say
what are you even supposed to do???
keigo just confessed
your best friend and crush just confessed to you
that’s not something that happens everyday
“i um, like you too” you don’t look at him and he almost chuckles at your shy expression, but decides not to embarrass you any further
“happy to hear that”
he doesn’t say anything for a while and you wonder what the hell is going through his head right
he’s probably just messing with me. oh my God he probably is and i just said i liked him too so what-
your train of thought is cut off when you feel the blonde ruffle your hair while looking at you lovingly
you slowly look up to him
“i’m proud of you, dove”
fuck
“t-thanks”
“now, i think this is something worth celebrating and i’m not talking about pizza. so let me take you out”
“it’s fine, keigo. you don’t need to-”
“can’t hear you, give me about fifteen minutes and then we’ll get going”
you try to tell him no, that it’s fine and you can just eat pizza but he ignores you and still takes you out to eat
i’ll say it again: he’s so sweet :(((
he pays for the food and gives you his jacket when you get cold
he even treats you to some dessert !!
he also kisses you good night when he drops you off at your house <3
7K notes · View notes
buckyownsmylife · 3 years
Text
Follow you - Chris Evans smut
The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more
Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris
Word count: 4.1k
A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever!  this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!
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Chris’ P.O.V.
“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.
“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.
It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.
“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”
She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.
“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.
“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.
“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.
Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.
And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.
She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.
I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.
But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.
“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.
“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.
“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.
“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.
“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.
“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.
I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.
It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.
We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.
She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.
I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.
I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.
It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.
And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.
It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.
I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.
And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.
Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.
I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.
I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.
All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.
She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.
I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.
And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?
Xxx
“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.
To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.
“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.
“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.
“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.
Much like her, I supposed.
I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.
She was wearing an apron.
There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.
And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.
But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.
“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”
The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.
“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.
“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it,  starting to suck me off without any preamble.
My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.
Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?
“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.
“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.
“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.
“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.
I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.
“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.
“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.
“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.
“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.
I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.
A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.
“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”
The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.
Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.
“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.
“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”
“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.
“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.
“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”
The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.
“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.
“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.
“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.
“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.
“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.
“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”
Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.
“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.
“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”
The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.
We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?
“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.
“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”
“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.
“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”
The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.
Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.
2K notes · View notes
mizutori-heiko · 3 years
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Mizutori’s bakudeku fanfiction master list [complete works]
Really really good writing by these incredible authors. In no particular order! These are all Top!Bakugou and Bottom!Deku. If A/B/O dynamics then it’s Alpha!Bakugou and Omega!Deku. Yes, I have preferences.
Canon World – until 15k
What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? by reading_raindrop | 8,303 | Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would.
Oh right, you were a little sh*t by SaysiWrites | 5,653 | When Midoriya Izuku gets hit by an age-reversion Quirk, the last thing anyone expected to find out is that Toddler-Izuku is a little shit. Except for one Bakugou Katsuki, who has seen this phase one too many times already. (Bonus+ the entire Little Sh*t (Kidfic) series)
Do Not Disturb by surveycorpsjean | 10,010 | Apply enough force, and something is bound to break.
And Atlas fell by supercrunch | 15,185 | They move in together, after a while. Katsuki joins Best Jeanist and Izuku trains under Gran Torino. They still take comfort in each other every day, curl up in bed and kiss and talk about how life is going. Their live are tumultuous, after all, what with villains and training and rescuing people every week. It’s nice to have something certain. At the end of a day filled with violence and adrenaline, Izuku knows he can come home to someone concrete. It’s perfect. Being a hero is scary and grueling and uncertain, but this part is just right. And then, one day, a child dies in Izuku’s arms.
be loved by bonnia | 5,403 | The kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands.
Big Protein by Mysecretfanmoments | 13,683 | Bakugou Katsuki has a thriving hero career, an agent to manage his famous attitude, and absolutely zero romantic interest in anyone. With the exception of his favourite health food joint refusing to expand to his city, his life is pretty damn perfect—so why does a viral video revealing Deku's stash of dirty mags involving him and Deku together turn everything upside-down?
Chocolate cake and resin preserved flowers by Anoksun | 11,396 | Izuku loses his memories. Katsuki struggles not to lose Izuku too.
Twin Stars by theperksofbeinglarissa | 8,435 | When Deku saves a woman's life, her quirk is accidentally activated. Her quirk? She reveals a person's soulmate. A star-shaped mark appears on Midoriya's left arm... and on Bakugou's as well. Kirishima is the only one who knows that Bakugou is Midoriya's soulmate, and Bakugou isn't taking the news very well. Can the twin stars of class 1-A work out their differences and find their happy ending?
Unhealthy Fixations by Thesis | 12,522 | Izuku is an adult who knows better than to crush on his childhood bully. AND YET.
Like the Moon by osakakitty | 14,781 | Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.
Worth a Second Shot by cinnabee | 13,080 | Katsuki and Izuku celebrate registering as a Hero Duo together with a big party. What could go wrong?
Like Something Out of A Shoujo Manga by Merrywetherweather | 2,971 | Deku ends up in a rather interesting quirk accident, one that triggers flag events as if he were the protagonist of an otome game.
Canon World – 15k++
Blood Moon by lalazee | 94,860 | The Thank-Fuck-We-Aren’t-Dead Sex had started then, and had never really stopped. Then came the feelings and the fights. The ego, the pride, the jealousy. And then there was Us.
The Way You Used To Do by edema_ruh | 669,463 | During a battle, Midoriya gets hit by a villain whose quirk detaches his soul from his body. Stuck in a ghost-like state, the boy enters a race against time in order to save himself from permanently dying. Much to his luck - or lack of it -, the only person who can see and talk to him in this state is no one other than Kacchan.
Just Like Breathing by MD_Daydreamer | 35,423 | Izuku got engaged. He didn't mind. If that made Uraraka happy, he could do it. He thought his life wouldn't change much.But then, Kacchan went to live in the USA.
briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) by vannral | 15,951 | In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.
"what's your type?" by sapphicflower | 20,192 | In order to increase their popularity rankings as up and coming pro heroes, Izuku and Katsuki participate in the most popular late night talk show for hero duos - ‘Heroes Rising!’. They’re killing it, obviously, because they know each other from inside and out. Until one question stumps the two of them: “What is your hero partner’s type?”
and it was Just Right by cinnabee | 23,759 | Katsuki spends two years post-graduation in a furious one-sided competition with his childhood friend and rival's promotional photos - until they finally run into each other, and, well. You shouldn't believe everything you see in magazines. A love story about size differences.
Notice Me, Nerd by useless_donut | 40,000 | Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out. A love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A.
in your dreams, nerd! by sapphicflower | 37,639 | In a strange and unexpected set of circumstances, Izuku and Katsuki find themselves sharing their dreams together whenever they happen to fall asleep at the same time. Being hopelessly in love with each other, they don’t mind it all that much. What better way to spend time with your crush than in a stupidly vivid dream?
Hear Me by my_name_is_Levi | 22,419 | It wasn’t as if nightmares were uncommon for the freshman class of Yuuei. They’d seen plenty of things, heard and felt and witnessed enough travesty in their lives to last them a lifetime. But Midoriya Izuku was screaming, and no one, not even Bakugo Katsuki could ignore it.
Bridges by supercrunch | 18,018 | Bakugou is signed up for a Calvin Klein modeling gig. The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart. So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.
objective truth by mamalade | 15,390 | Izuku gets hit with a truth quirk, as one does. He seems to be handling it well—until Katsuki shows up.
catharsis by dollcewrites | 15,071 | It's been six years since Izuku graduated.It's been six years since he confessed to his childhood friend; his classmate and his inspiration. It's been six years since he deleted Bakugou's number, asked his friends not to mention the name, spent every last effort of his heart turning off the TV and averting his eyes from the newspapers. It's been six, long, long years since he gave up on Katsuki Bakugou ever loving him back.
Here here, my friends and me (You are my familia) by Jeka | 128,832 | Bakugou Katsuki has made a great job of ignoring the fact that he is tragically in love with Deku, someone who could never love him like that and let's face it, he doesn't deserve. Now that he can't ignore it anymore, he has to find a way to keep his childhood friend and move on for his own sake. Or so he had thought, maybe he can have Deku, after all. Izuku has everything he always wanted in life. But suddenly he has to navigate the most important relationship in his life through different eyes.
Canon World – Jealous! 
Hands Off by SaysiWrites | 7,140 | When a new girl at school starts flirting with Bakugou, his friends quickly become invested in the idea of their friend experiencing love - even if he doesn't seem at all interested in her. What they don't see is Midoriya fuming in the background. But how can he get rid of her when they've spent so long keeping their relationship a secret?
Surfaces by surveycorpsjean | 25,225 | Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right. As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.
Green-Eyed Beast by SecretKiwi | 4,721 | Everyone wants a piece of Katsuki Bakugou, but they should beware of the Green-eyed beast always lurking close behind him.
Green with Envy by Sol_Morales707 | 2,611 | Izuku Midoriya is not as innocent and pure as everyone thinks he is. The truth was he was very jealous and willing to do anything for a certain blonde.
Happy Camper by Arysa | 7,074 | Wanting a break from the stress of dealing with the rookie Pro Hero grind, a handful of students from Class A decide to go on a camping trip. Izuku's excited to relax and catch up with everyone, especially Kacchan. But, well, Kacchan's... Kacchan. And dating Kirishima.
How to stop time: kiss by Teddingtons | 31,693 | Deku finally asks Uraraka out. Everyone's supportive except Bakugou who can't even look him in the eye. Deku seeks him out after and is hit with truth.
What I Deserve by s_the_queen | 16,671 | When Izuku starts dating a student in General Studies, everyone is happy for him. She's super sweet and really caring. But something doesn't sit right with Katsuki.
Deku's Already Fucking Taken by asdfjkl129 | 20,704 | 5 times people don't realize that Deku is already in a very happy relationship and try their hand at asking him out, and then in Bakugou's unique and special style, get very firmly corrected, +1 time where no correction is needed.
His by sister_elric | 6,206 | Izuku would like to consider himself a pretty level headed individual. Sure, he had the occasional tunnel vision, especially when it came to training. And hero work. And Kacchan. But, overall, Midoriya felt as though he typically kept his cool. Well, maybe that was a stretch. But, at the very least he could understand his own emotions. So, it surprised even him when an unfamiliar emotion coursed through him as a first year approached his boyfriend, Katsuki.
Down the Red Line by MinervaHope | 7,804 | Izuku has been able to see the red strings of fate since birth. It's no surprise that his is connected to Katsuki.
Canon World – Fake Relationship Goes Wrong
how he should’ve known (and how it turned out) by vannral | 43,918 | In which Katsuki and Izuku pretend to be a couple to avoid journalists, the plan backfires magnificently because of course it does, and the act goes on. Includes feelings, pining, domestic fluff and jealousy.
Vicious by feelslikefire | 105,173 | Midoriya and Bakugou wind up in the very last position either of them thought they'd be in: Hero Partners. It's not fun, but they learn to cope. Their first big assignment together takes them undercover to infiltrate a cult, but the situation turns out far more sinister than they first thought.
What I can never tell you by Mikacrispy | 27,067 | After living in the US for 5 years, Izuku returns to take care of a concussed Bakugou who believes they're engaged. Now, Izuku has to pretend he's in a relationship with the man he's loved for most of his life, knowing that it's just a matter of time until Katsuki gets better and realizes it's all a lie.
Not-Dating by MiraChaDoodles | 14,290 | Katsuki takes Deku on a not-date to save his career, only to find himself wishing it were real.
we'll do the things that lovers do by ethereals | 29,544 | Izuku gets an invitation to Shouto's wedding and Katsuki is PISSED that he asks Kirishima to be his date (also he wasn't even fucking invited
Canon World – Friends With Benefits (?) 
Four Times Bakugou Katsuki Doesn't Intend to Sleep With Midoriya Izuku (And the One Time that He Does) by fallingraine85 | 17,601 | He hadn’t planned for any of this. He isn’t about to go delving into the ball of yarn that is Midoriya Izuku’s heart; he isn’t equipped to try and untangle and make sense of it all. He isn’t about to try to analyze how he’s feeling about all of this, either.... How many times can you repeat the same mistake?
We Wear Chains on the Weekend by surveycorpsjean | 35,086 | Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare."Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways. Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.
Just for Now by Shiro_Kabocha | 48,135 | Katsuki's parents are out of town over a school break and to keep him from getting up to any shenanigans, they ask Izuku to house sit with him. What are two teenaged boys to do when left alone to their own devices? (Bonus+ the entire Just for Love series)
safe in the darkness by yoonskisses | 20,855 | Izuku and Katsuki had been meeting up secretly for months, with absolutely no feelings involved. Or so Katsuki thought at least. The dorm gossip about Ochaco and Izuku's new relationship seemed to set a spanner in the works for their arrangement.
Alternative Universe – No Quirks
Bluebird by EtherealBeing | 53,108 | Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact. However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.
Someone Borrowed by mynameis152 | 138,996 | It felt like hours that he stared at Izuku, coming to terms with the fact that a man, his childhood best friend, whom he hadn’t seen since their senior year of high school, was there in front of his very eyes. Then his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched before he uttered through gritted teeth the very name Izuku had longed to hear for years. “Deku.”
Dark Side of the Sun by Synnie | 51,598 | Staying up too late playing video games, Kirishima wasn't expecting to get an urgent call begging for help. Next thing he knew, he was letting his classmate Izuku Midoriya take refuge in his apartment - without consulting his always angry roommate.
Manage Me by Justaperson1718 | 10,756 | Izuku becomes Katsuki’s model agent.
Don't Set Your Drink Down by Crandberrycrush | 88,424 | With sudden clarity Izuku realized he had broken the first rule of going out. Never leave your drink unattended.
Livewire by pretty_rekless | 18,160 | Per Ochako's request, Izuku downloads a gay dating app in hopes to finally find a partner. Except every single one of his leads keep ghosting him or standing him up... That is until one hot, fiery blond enters the chat. Grindr/Tinder AU fic.
Drinking Watermelon by warschach | 8,906 | Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.
Precious Pet by Mikacrispy | 6,379 | When broke college student Midoriya Izuku found a job that offered lodging, food, and good pay for four hours of work each day, he thought it was too good to be true. But he called anyway. Turns out all he has to do is to be the spoiled little puppy of a rich businessman.
Our Eleven Summers by Dark_Mage_Ayumu | 34,472 | The first time Katsuki met Izuku was when he was eight. For the next eleven years, Izuku changed his life, and no one even knew. Their relationship was something they shared in secret.
sticky note crushes by ladyofsnails | 3,239 | Katsuki hates his roommate. The green-haired, freckled, artsy son of a bitch with his dumb pun t-shirts and paint-stained hands he can’t fucking keep to himself. Katsuki can’t leave a single assignment or paper out in his room because that idiot will just grab anything to draw on it. He’s like a shark that can’t stop swimming else it’ll die – he can’t stop drawing. Ever.
Don't Play Pretend by SweetSide | 10,103 | Actor AU: Deku and Bakugou get the leading roles for an upcoming TV Drama. They weren’t aware that they would be working with each other for who knows how long. It would’ve been completely fine if they weren’t exes.
97.6 FM by jamjars | 32,249 | Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.
Read {between} Your Lines by greatcloudninja | 52,252 | Midoriya Izuku, up-and-coming actor, has finally hit his big break (...), Bakugou Katsuki, who has been acting for over twenty years.However, Bakugou seems to have it out for Izuku, leading to tension both on and off set. When some incriminating photos surface, the studio suggests (...): having Bakugou and Midoriya fake a relationship to get ahead of the rumors. 
I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts by PassingShadow | 5,522 | Izuku is a professional cuddler and Katsuki is his new client that’s just a little rough around the edges, and needs a natural healing touch.
Alternative Universe – Quirkless Deku
A Good Old-Fashioned Tattoo AU by lalazee | 14,437 | After their paths had split, Bakugou & Deku meet again as adults. While Bakugou begins to repent for the kid he used to be, he also starts to prove himself as he the man he is now.
Call Me a Safe Bet (I'm Betting I'm Not) by WTTTD | 10,803 | He wished he had some sort of heads up before seeing Deku again for the first time after nearly two years, looking like the essence of a lazy Sunday, smiling and surrounded with brand new, adoring friends. It was a little fitting that Katsuki burned for him so badly. (Support Department Deku)
In Which Kacchan Has a Ruff Time by OneshotPrincess | 14,511 | Bakugou Katsuki gets quirked into a dog, gets adopted by an unknowing Izuku and generally has a very rough few days full of realizations
While You Were Sleeping by Belkacaramelka (annabelleg) | 71,197 | The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.
Let Me Assist You Personally by Seeress | 32,806 | Izuku is long-suffering Personal Assistant to #1 Pro Hero Dynamight.Dynamight can't keep a PA to save his career. They all quit crying after a few days weeks. Enter, Izuku—with enough money problems to brave the jaws of the cranky beast. Childhood friend turned glorified paid slave. Somehow it all works out. ‘Kill them with kindness’, his mom had told him once. If that were true, Bakugou Katsuki would be stone-cold dead by now.
Smile For The Camera by kurokonekokilled | 19,179 | Midnight has a cam site, home to millions of users, but one catches Katsuki's eye when he goes scrolled through it in search for something to help him release a little stress. A live stream and the best orgasm of his life later, his wallet is lighter, and he might be almost as obsessed with this Deku guy as the cam boy is with him.
Just Like The Comics by brichibi | 24,935 | Where Izuku works at a comic book shop because that’s as close to a hero as he’s gonna get, and Katsuki plays the part of heroic ex-boyfriend who is good at everything except winning Izuku back... maybe
Alternative Universe – Quirks
Get on my Level by Mikacrispy | 92,273 | Bakugou Katsuki is a Pro Hero whose boss demands him to take an intern. Midoriya Izuku is a UA student who needs an internship. When the two of them are put together, they learn about what it truly means to be a Hero and what it means to be in love.
A/B/O – Secret! Baby
Home by Emerald2402 | 87,214 | Midoriya Izuku left Japan in a rush, moving to America without a word to anyone else. But then almost 11 years later he arrives back Home and Bakugou Katsuki's Alpha is furious. Fuck that, Bakugou is furious, because Midoriya Izuku, an omega he tasted one time, has been keeping a very big, very blonde haired, green eyed secret.
Those Under the Same Stars by PerpetuallyPerturbed | 325,553 | When Katsuki Bakugo left Izuku Midoriya five years ago, he thought it was for forever. He put aside dreams and wishes of the omega to focus on his career. He was going to be the best hero, after all. He couldn't have an omega getting in his way. So when he's stopped on the streets one day by a pup begging for help for his mom, he isn't prepared to face what he gave up, and what the consequences of his actions were. (Quirkless Deku)
A/B/O – Quirks
Mark Me. Make Me Yours. by decadentbynature | 10,062 | Midoriya is the only Omega at UA and he's been hiding it well but there's one issue that threatens to expose him: his attraction to an Alpha, Bakugo. After being told to give some paperwork to Bakugo, Midoriya lets him into his dorm room and is immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Unable to help himself, he gives in to his urges, only to be discovered by Bakugo but instead of becoming enraged, Bakugo decides to give Midoriya exactly what he wants
Claim Me by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 114,449 | Being an Alpha has nothing to do with Katsuki's success as a Pro-Hero, the same way Deku's Omega status hasn't kept him from becoming Number Two. Secondary gender doesn't mean anything nowadays and “mating” is an antiquated practice. So when Izuku, his rival, asks Katsuki to Claim him in the middle of the night, there is only one logical thing to say. “What the fuck?”
Change of Plans by Mikacrispy | 185,965 | Alpha Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki never planned to get married to some random omega but what he wants isn't an option anymore. One for All wielder Midoriya Izuku has suffered injustice too many times and doesn't plan in allowing his secondary gender to dictate how he must live his life. Falling in love was never in the plans.
Going Feral For You by ANGIE_fic | 17,977 | Bakugou has an aggression problem that might have to do with his Alpha. His job is on the line because of it. So what do you do with a pent up Alpha? Yes.Rut. (Quirkless Izuku)
i live for you, i long for you by jeonjeonggukkkkkie | 19,165 | The five times Izuku hinted he wants Katsuki to spend his next heat with him, and the one time Katsuki took the hint.
Baby's First Bloom by ContraryBee | 44,945 | Izuku blooms for Katsuki one warm day in their third year of middle school. What follows is both boys learning about themselves, their bond, and the society they live in.
As Fate Would Have It by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 88,737 | Katsuki Bakugo had plenty of reasons why he wasn't mated yet, not that he was going to explain why to just anyone. But now, Ground Zero was running out of time. If he didn't find someone soon, he'd lose his position as a Pro-Hero and he'd never get to be #1. So, when he finds out there's a male Omega recently arrested for prostitution that's headed to prison if he too doesn't get a mate…well it must be fate. (Quirkless Izuku)
A/B/O – No Quirks
Gravity by warschach | 71,477 | Izuku is back in his hometown and plenty hasn't changed much from the 8 years he was gone. Except, Katsuki Bakugou, the alpha king of their small town. He's hotter- because that's fair, right, God? -, stronger, a now-famous pro fighter, and noticeably nicer this round.Not that he cares, pfft. (Fine, he cares.)
Nine Months by greatcloudninja | 23,303 | Omega Midoriya Izuku connects with Alpha Bakugou Katsuki through an online singles ad. Izuku pays Katsuki to help him with his heat, ending up pregnant in the process. What follows is a pregnancy filled with ups and downs, but whatever hurdles come their way, they can make it through together.
The long dark by Ominous-Anonymous (Ominonymous) | 13,289 | He could have been really dangerous. He could be a fucking murderer for all he knew. But Izuku Midoriya, ever the reckless daredevil, was not thinking of that when he got into a car with a complete stranger. Completely ignoring the part where his mother always taught him to never gets into cars with alphas he didn't know...
542 notes · View notes
everafterkeiji · 3 years
Note
Its my birthdayyyy 😈 i just turned 14 lol my sister got the coronavirus so i really cant go out on my birthday so i just have to stay home all day 🙋‍♀️ can i pleaseee request toman boys preparing a birthday party for y/n cuz she did alot and helped them sooo they just wanna do something nice for her ig? Sorry if its too much u can ignore this request
my darling, happy birthday!! happy 14th to u bub, enjoy ur day, ok? i fell asleep and woke up really late for my class so I'm sorry if i ended up posting this on the 16th but i hope u and ur sister are doing okay and ur day was well spent! thank u so much for requesting and stay safe always, we gon celebrate this together yep (・ω・)つ⊂(・ω・) <33
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𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘
PAIRINGS: Toman x gn! reader
GENRE: fluff fluff fluff, humor, (not proofread cuz i got so sleepy)
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- Two days before your birthday, Hakkai was the first one to alarm the gang about it, not even realizing that he let out a secret a little too late but they knew they shouldn't spare a single moment to take it to their advantage. "You guys have any plans for the weekend? I'm shit bored all the time." Peh-yan sighs and Mitsuya eyes him.
"Right, the 15th, huh? That's Y/N's birthday." Hakkai calmly states, in contrast to the two who were sharing concerned and startled expressions now that they had to rush a plan. "Wait what?"
"THIS SATURDAY?"
- The hectic schedule begins with Mitsuya sending an emergency text to their group chat, calling on their cells to let them in on this new found information and everyone seems to blame Hakkai, much less to blaming themselves for not even thinking about it at the first. "You could've told us sooner." Mikey scolds and they nodded their heads to his words. "Well—I thought all of you knew? What are we gonna do about it now?" And sharing the same links to their worry, they all shift their gaze to Mitsuya who already took part in expecting that they'd name him the handler for the event.
"Fine, I'll plan it and shit but everyone will help out. Not just me and Draken, alright?"
"Hell yeah! Let's do this for Y/N!" Chifuyu cheers which causes the rest of them to follow his glee at how ready they were to succeed with this.
- The sectioning of the plan starts by Mitsuya separating them by their abilities. He sticks to the division members and captains but for other instances, he's composing a team of three from different teams. "Smiley, Pehyan, and Baji—you three need to deny everything if they ask about what's going on, keep them distracted too—make sure Y/N doesn't even begin to think about it, okay?"
"Understood, boss!"
- The next day, those same boys were acting like stealthy undercover agents when someone brings up what you were going to do. They're invested on your answer all the way through. "Nothing strikes my mind for now but I'd like to spend it with the guys." You responded with a smile, a subtle imagination of the fun it contained if it turned into reality. Raising an eyebrow, Peh-yan scoffs while you walked his way and he half panics when he failed to construct his words.
"Oh, hey!" You greeted them, a bit curious to why those two were in your class. "You need something?" You asked them but Smiley let's out a chuckle. "None of your business." Baji says with a slight aggression to his voice as he receives a slap to the back, courtesy of the oldest Kawata twin.
"You suck at this." Peh-yan whispers. "Well uh, I'll see you then." You bid them good-bye and the curiosity sinks to you but you choose to pay not as much attention to it for now.
- "Draken, Chifuyu, and I will take care of the decor. Can any of you cook?" Mitsuya questions, eyes switching to every member while they shrug. The silver haired boy sighs, running a hand to his face at how he's carrying everything. "We can pitch in for the cake so you don't have to worry about it." Draken suggested and they nodded at his offer.
"I don't trust anyone else in the kitchen anyway."
- Mikey, Souya, Hakkai, and Takemichi were in charge of buying whatever the party leaders needed to have. Strolling in the mall with balloons in their paper bags, some streamers, and confetti bombs—they didn't really expect to see you sipping on your coffee with a bag of your own while your eyes dart to them and suddenly they were all pushing each other to detect who'd be able to lie the best. Their leader walked as far as he could and the three other chickens were left to hand the carry ons from one person to another. Unfortunately, Souya was the chosen one to converse with you.
"It's nice to see you here, Angry." You send him a smile but with the banter behind him, he horribly panics and covers your eyes, a kick to Hakkai for them to run and the two obey, scramming as the blue haired twin's chest began to pant.
"Souya? Is everything okay?" You asked him when he lowered his hand. He shakes his head in response while you tilt your head, blank spaces filling your mind at his bizarreness.
"Y-yeah! BYE BYE!" He simply walks out in shame.
- "I don't want to talk to, Y/N. We're avoiding them as much as possible, remember?" Takashi reminds, sewing for the banner with a needle in his mouth. Unbeknownst to them, you stood outside their room right where your name had been mentioned. Clutching the strap of your bag, you stopped in your step, taking a peak to Peh-yan and Mitsuya who were the only ones inside.
"Avoiding?" You whispered to yourself but Ryohei sees your figure and nudges on the person beside him. Both of you shared a glance until that same boy comes in front of you, hands on either side of your shoulders. "Peh?"
"Y/N-chan! Nope we're closed, Mitsuya's busy!" He ushers before shutting the door right to your face out of panic all over again which leads the president to be worried of your reaction. Though, when he opens the door, you're gone in a flash.
- The next day, the word has gone out that you've been suspicious of their doings and they're even more pressured to maintain the secret because you're asking them if they needed some sort of help when you see them but all they do is excuse themselves. "What's wrong with them today?" You asked, your back slumping from your lack of conversation with him. Since then, you did avoid Mitsuya for the mean time because of the homeroom incident, to which he absolutely feels guilty about.
"I think Y/N is getting the wrong idea. They probably think they did something wrong." He states. "We need to hurry up or else."
- The boys continue on—working extra hard even if they were facing arguments by a dozen of hours. "What if Y/N's allergic?" Souya asks, looking at the cake. "They're not... right?" His brother hinted. "Shit, I don't know!"
"Can you aim it higher? A little more to the left—no too much—stay—more to the side please!" Takemichi orders Chifuyu who was groaning from the arm strain. "Oi, let's switch! My arms hurt so much!"
"Okay so when Y/N comes in do we bomb the confetti the moment they walk in?" Mikey questions and Draken shakes his head. "They're gonna choke from all the paper."
- It is slightly concerning when the Kawata twins were suddenly paying for your snacks, giving each a critique just to know if you were allergic to anything. "How's that one taste like?" Souya asks.
"It's okay, the flavor is...average, I guess." You observed while the two share a glance, mentally cursing when they realized it was majority of the flavor they got for you.
"More food for Y/N!"
- There were stupendous remarks, often made by Takemichi and Chifuyu just to get a reaction out of you. "I sure don't like...metallic stuff!" Raising an eyebrow, you turned to the duo and with a pen ready to write, Chifuyu squints his eyes to you.
"What is your opinion on color? Do you like it scattered or-"
"Is this an interview?"
- You're more persistent in what they were up to but it does pain you that you resembled a plague at how they kept their distance around you. Draken tries to assure you everyone else is busy with a Toman meeting but you weren't updated on anything. It was a clear lie for the rest, especially Peh-yan and Souya who were jittery and too obvious. Smiley and Baji were the only ones capable of holding out until the end, keeping the conversation fresh without the mention of your birthday.
- Still, they really want to make this a special day for you. Because of everything you've done for them to respect them and defend them when needed, a display of gratitude is what you deserve. "I don't want Y/N to feel like we're ignoring them too much but I'm excited to see their reaction though." Takashi had a proud smile on his face now that the full view of the set up looked so much better than the rough first day. Chifuyu was panting beside him from taping all the balloons from multiple walls and Draken wipes his sweat who was done putting the rest of the banner on the high parts.
"Y/N's gonna love this!" Takemichi hypes up from behind. "Not bad. How are we gonna lure them in?" Baji asks.
"Maybe it should be Mikey." Hakkai suggests and the blonde disagrees. "I'll mess it up. Now that all of this is set up, can we talk to Y/N? Maybe they'll be out after school and we'd never know." Their leader proposes.
"I'll do it. I owe an apology to them anyway." Mitsuya volunteers which relieved the others for the task.
- Much to their excitement for your actual birthday, you ended up avoiding them in return. The last two days felt like they pushed you away for a reason and it's taking a toll on you at how clueless you were. When the second division tried to approach you, you ended up turning to a different hall, purposely throwing off his direction which strikes him. "What's going on?" He whispers to himself and the next couple of minutes were spent trying to catch your attention.
The moment you do look at each other, mans is terrified. There's a chill cascading from his lower back to his nape at how closed off you were and it dawns on him that the whole situation of avoiding you ended up on the bad side of their decisions. "Oh shit." He cusses.
- "H-hey, Y/N!" Hakkai greets you with a nervous smile and you could only give a bow to him, eyes intent on the floor as cold sweat drops from him. "Okay bye Y/N!" Peh-yan then, out of the many instances he's slipped up, took the opportunity by grabbing your hand.
"I promise—this time I really have something to show you."
- You were quiet for the rest of the trip, they decided that it was best for you have a blindfold on which doubles your anxiety of where you were going anyway. It doesn't help that they kept murmuring and the more you took a step, the more you dreaded waiting for them to greet you. "Okay, stand there, we'll let go." Hakkai informs you as you shake your head. "Wait—don't leave!" You cried and that was when no one else surrounded you.
Until a voice spoke, "Take of your blindfold, Y/N!"
- And as the fabric drops to you nose, your eyes were mesmerized by the sudden flash of light, surrounding the entire room. The decorations were well organized and a big banner that said happy birthday with a table filled with meals and gifts, even party hats with toy trumpets to celebrate. You covered your mouth out of shock, your heart not even letting it sink into you that this was the reason they've been avoiding you for a while. The words that ring in your moment of awe was, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" From all of the main captains and founding members of Toman.
Though, the confetti bomb didn't exactly blow up after they said it and Mikey was struggling so hard on pulling the object. "I can't do it." He complains while you let out a laugh. As a joke, Baji turned his gaze to you.
"Hey, Y/N? You think you can walk in again and let's do a retake?"
"Oh absolutely." You giggled at their inconvenience before obeying the long haired boys demands, walking in with a brighter smile than the first time and another chorus of happy birthday resonates through the building as the sound of the confetti finally working mixes with it. A rain of colorful strings and papers poured on all of you while you ran to them, catching them in an embrace.
- After hearing their plan with a couple of apologies here and there, you couldn't stop smiling and laughing at their stories of how close they were to giving in especially when you ignored them. "So? This was all the big fuss about?" You asked Mitsuya as he bids you a nod with a hand to your shoulder. "If it's all for you then it's worth it."
Mikey then brings in the cake, lit up in the amount as your age and they urge you to stand up. "We're thankful that you're here Y/N. We thank you for everything that you've done for us and we had a lot of fun planning this entire day out for you to enjoy, so, why don't you make a wish and let's begin your party!" He spoke with a smile to you and your heartbeat fastens at how lucky you were to be treated by such amazing friends.
They started to sing the classic happy birthday song, Peh-yan and Angry's voice casually above the others but they had to match that energy so even when the song was meant to be slow, the anticipation and rest they got now that everything was settled brought even more warmth to the room and a kick in the rhythm.
Closing your eyes as a wish is said in your mind, you blew the candle and with a few more embraces, they all began to cheer,
"Happy birthday, Y/N!"
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TOKYO REV : @strawberrieas @kwrg @raya-sano @kimrena-stuff @heavensbeloved @rosewood1999 @beezebub @l-luci @bekky06 @keiisukebaji @manjiroarchiviste @smileysmileysmiley @tendo-shairdye @toshiswifey @thispenguinrocks @kleesboom
OVERALL: @stesphy @itsmeaudrieee @crapimahuman @meguroshi @floydenai @dai-tsukki-desu @inu1gf
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s-brant · 3 years
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Pirates and Princesses (8/8)
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(gif: @beccs) (PART SEVEN) (SERIES MASTERLIST)
Summary: JJ must confront his childhood trauma when returning home for the first time since his dad went to jail and prevent it from sabotaging his new relationship. Meanwhile, something sinister happens at the Chateau that brings Y/N face to face with her grief over John B’s death.
Word Count: 13.4k
Warnings: Angst, implied sexual content, strong language, parent/child abuse, mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, grief, and fluff.
A/N: Welcome to the final chapter of Tokens! This one has a little bit of everything in it, but it also has detailed scenes about JJ and his dad, so proceed with caution if you’re easily triggered by that topic. The love you guys show this fic warms my heart so much, so thanks to anyone who stuck with this story until this chapter. Hope you enjoy it!
Now that she has been sentenced to both punishments, one as a consequence of the fight with Kacey and the other as a consequence of the stunt she pulled with JJ to break out of ISS, Y/N can confidently say that out of school suspension is superior to in-school suspension by a long shot. Instead of sitting in a humid room with Alec for the duration of multiple school days, she's allowed to stay home, go out surfing, and do whatever she wants in lieu of doing classwork.
She promised herself not to make it a habit, promising the invisible presence of John B that she likes to pretend follows her around that she will never get herself into trouble again, but she sees no problem in enjoying her suspension while it lasts.
For the first few days of her suspension, JJ skipped school to spend it with her. Their memories of the conversation they had at three in the morning on Sunday were fuzzy, but not missing entirely. She noticed a difference in his behavior for the first few hours after they woke up under the tree together for the second time in one week. It wasn't a difference in their relationship or how he treated her, it was a difference in him.
He was quieter than usual as they cleaned up cans of beer and tossed them into the recycling, sending pictures to Kie while she was in class after she made them promise not to throw them in the trash. Rather than cracking jokes or making casual conversation with her, JJ made his way around the yard with the recycling bin in his hands and his head in the clouds. It disappeared as the day progressed, but for a little while, he wasn't completely there.
Today, he went into school instead of ditching to spend extra time with her in between shifts at work and time spent with their friends. Since they can't exceed three consecutive absences without a doctor’s note and he doesn't own a printer or laptop to forage the header from a doctor's office, he had no choice but to part from her this morning.
He bites his lip to contain his smug facial expression at the recollection of her wake up call for him. The hand holding his locker door open for him to lean on in the midst of his not-so-wholesome thoughts of her squeezes the metal hard enough to turn his knuckles white.
The curtains weren't shut all the way when they fell asleep before midnight last night, allowing a shaft of sunlight to shine in and land on his face. But that wasn't what woke him up from the dream he was having. In fact, the reality he opened his eyes to was a hell of a lot better than any dream he remembered.
Most of his memory of those moments spent suspended between consciousness and unconsciousness consisted of feeling her pressing a kiss to his shoulder, then her hands rubbing up and down his waist to slip lower and lower until they settled on the waistband of his underwear. It was then that he woke to find her looking up at him for permission from where she peppered kisses along his chest.
Their eyes met right as she kissed the edge of his nipple with this pleading, needy look that he took pride in causing without actively attempting to. She woke up on the brink of coming undone from a pleasant—to put it tamely—dream about him. With a glimpse at the time displayed on the alarm clock, it didn't take much for her to roll over to wake him up.
It ended with her beneath the sheet, finishing what she started Friday afternoon until he was clutching the pillow beneath his head in the midst of his orgasm. It happened so fast, a fault of how hot he found it to wake up to her wanting him so badly, but it felt slower than it truly was in the early morning haze of exhaustion they felt.
The memory as he relives it is as heady as it felt the first time around. He sees it in fractions; her eyes looking up at his, warm palms finding the familiar planes of his muscular body with the exploratory touch of someone who's never traveled it before, and the intense sensations he felt at the end...It's easy for him to stand here and lose himself in it. Despite the class he has to go to, he bargains with himself for one more second spent in the paradise of his memories before he has to come back to reality.
Reality, as his shitty luck would have it, comes in the form of a familiar feminine voice chirping from behind his back as he replays his morning bliss.
"It's good to see you're alive and well, Maybank."
He decides, based on who he knows he'll see when he turns around, that he might invest in a sharpie to write "Bang head here" on the inside of his locker door for instances like these where he'd rather suffer brain damage than speak to someone he can't stomach the presence of.
When he turns to see Kacey with one arm still stretched to hold his locker open, he doesn't bother concealing the genuine reaction from his face for the sake of her feelings. Any care he had for her and her feelings was thrown to the wind as soon as she decided she could steal from and put her hands on his girl last week. However, after a second of thought, a condescending smirk finds its way to his face.
He says, jerking his chin to vaguely gesture at her bruised up face, "Purple really suits your complexion. It makes your eyes pop, don't you think?"
Though the swelling of her black eye has deflated in the days since the fight that’ll soon tally up to a week, the verbal jab hits right where it intended to if the light leaving her eyes tells him anything. She bounces back after a second, though, ever the relentless pest they've come to see her as.
She offers a sickeningly sweet, yet fake smile to mirror the one gracing his striking features and spins so her back meets the locker beside his, allowing herself to invade his space further.
A collection of Y/N's stickers decorates the inside of his locker door that he briefly entertained the idea of designating as a place to bang his head against. They range from girly, glittery ones to those he willingly picked when she gave him the choice. Whenever they're at his locker together, she sticks one on the inside, and the evidence of the habit catches Kacey's wandering eyes.
Her fingertips brush against the surface of the sticker-covered metal while she ignores his protest of, "Can you not touch my stuff?" to inspect them. Since one of the Pogues in particular is famous for her endless supply of stickers, her expression sours at the thought of the girl responsible for them.
She spares him a quick glance out of the corner of her eye as she continues to analyze the sticker collection against his instructions not to, asking, "Why weren't you at the bonfire?" A failed attempt at a seductive look in his direction makes him fight not to roll his eyes. "After how last year's ended, I thought you wouldn't miss it for the world."
JJ doesn't bother to take a second to think things through before he reaches to slam the door closed with her hand still outstretched inside of it. Watching her pull it away just in time to avoid jamming it in the locker probably pleases him more than it should, but he can't help it. His hand catches on the edge of the door, halting it in place right before it closes where her hand previously rested.
She doesn't look too happy with him when he opens the door with no harm done except for the drop of her stomach when he initially pretended to swing it shut on her bruised knuckles. She didn't get many shots in on Y/N when they fought, but apparently it was enough.
He doesn't bother with the fake niceties she's giving him after the disrespect she showed him, his friends, and, most importantly, his girlfriend. The fact that she thinks she has any right to breathe in his direction, let alone flirt with him, after she stole JB's bandana is criminal. 'Cause not only did she mess with Y/N, she messed with John B on multiple levels, and his loyalty to his best friend hasn't disappeared with death. Kie and Y/N told him everything she said about their departed friend in the locker room last Thursday.
But he's smart enough to know what'll hurt her more, so he doesn't go for the general scolding he imagined giving her in his head. Since he was told everything about the encounter in the locker room, he knows she's still holding their history together near and dear to her heart.
"We stayed home," he says, casual and cool as always, with added emphasis on the first word, "You know how it is, my girl doesn't like parties. Especially not ones with kooks."
Hook, line, and sinker.
She scoffs, "Your girl?"
Looking at her now, he wonders if she was always this stupid, or if this is a new development she's had in the year since he last spent more than a minute or two at a time with her. It’s easier to trick her than it was with Kie and Y/N a few days ago, and those poor girls flew into that trap like moths to a flame.
"That's what I said, isn't it?"
The ire is visible in the way her face tenses up in places, her lips pressing together a little more firmly and her forehead creasing between the brows.
"Doesn't your, um, history bother her?" she asks, and he's gotta give her credit for being a sneaky little shit when given the chance. The girl takes every possible opening she can to strike for a potential weakness. "No offense, but you kinda get around."
He shrugs this time, deciding to drop his casual act and aim straight for the jugular.
"She likes having someone who knows how to fuck her right, actually, but I really appreciate the concern."
Much like Kie's reaction to their matching tattoos in the hot tub the other night, her jaw is unhinged to meet the unswept hallway floor they stand on. It makes him wish Y/N weren't suspended in order for her to see the gobsmacked reaction Kacey has to the harsh dismissal. Though he wouldn't want to incite an extra round of the Kacey vs Y/N WWE showdown by having her watch another girl flirt with him and essentially call him a slut upon rejection, he knows she'd get a kick out of it.
This one's for you, baby, he thinks with a quiet laugh to himself and turns his focus to the sticker collection she so lovingly crafted.
There are plenty of summer themed ones left over from the same pack he gifted her for her birthday with the surfboard sticker she used to tease him, as well as a newer genre of Valentine's Day stickers she started using the closer they grew since first getting together. They're mostly different colored candy hearts with corny phrases ranging from "U SXY THING" to the classic "BE MINE" and one printed with "ANGEL" on it—his favorite by far.
However, others are random ones from her endless stash built up over the years from birthdays and holidays deemed worthy enough by her dad to stop by Dollar Tree for a new pack, so the one he sets his attention on is likely meant for teachers or coaches to give to their students. The opportunity appears too good to be true to him when it clicks, but it isn't.
He peels the sticker off of the locker door, careful not to disturb the ones around it, and leans in closer to her to place it on the front of her tank top.
"Leave us alone or I won't stop her next time," JJ says lowly, past the point of civility, then backs away to slam his locker shut for real this time as his voice raises back to a normal volume, "And keep John B's name out of your mouth, got it?"
All she can do is look down at the sticker placed on her shirt with squinted eyes to try and read it while he walks off in the direction of his next class. It tears away from the fabric with a soft noise, and when she finally reads it, she rolls her eyes.
“Good Try!”
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​​Walking out of school to see the Twinkie parked in the usual spot Y/N takes when she isn't suspended is a delightful treat he didn't know to expect after a rough day in class and his run in with Kacey. His head was hung low on his way to Kie's car to hitch a ride to his house before going home to the Chateau, since he had some things to pick up with his dad out of the picture for the near future, but then he heard her greet them.
JJ's body melts into hers upon contact, and he nearly pushes her up against the closed passenger side door of the van with how hard he hugs her. Though he doesn't want to acknowledge it, his dad has been living in his thoughts more than usual today. Ever since he texted him goodbye, he's been withdrawn inside of his head more and more, and after today's inconveniences, the rising anxiety of his plan to visit home has him two seconds from losing his mind.
Her eyes widen at his zeal, meeting Kie's concerned gaze from over the shoulder she rests her chin on. She stands with her keys swinging around her finger as she watches the couple embrace one another. In an answer to the silent question Y/N asks her in their stare, her lips mouth the words, "His dad," to her.
Deep down, Y/N had a feeling.
It began with his impromptu request to run away with her a few days ago and extended into his uncharacteristically reserved attitude the next morning that receded somewhat, but has yet to fully disappear. There is a part of her that's upset that he hasn't come to her to talk about it, to communicate the way they swore they would, yet she also knows it isn't that simple.
She has to remind herself that she knew what she was getting herself into with him. That's not to say that dating her must be a walk in the park for him, it isn't.
She knows based on the amount of times he had to hold her as she cried, or the time he curtailed her panic attack in this very parking lot, that she hasn't made it easy for him in the aftermath of John B's death. But it's because she knows how it feels that she has such patience with his communication issues.
It's not a conscious choice most times, it's an involuntary blockage preventing the words from being spoken no matter how desperately they long to be. They may have made a promise, but she won't chastise him for succumbing to the same pitfalls as her. It’d be hypocritical.
"Bad day?" she asks.
Her voice is tender with him, prodding gently for a clue as to why he pounced on her on sight. He sinks further into her arms at the sound and lets the sanctity of her touch sway him into submission. Everything about her sets him at ease, if only for a second. Her hand lifts the beat-up red hat from his head to allow the other to brush through his hair.
There's a hum of agreement that she feels vibrating through the center of his chest into hers, and her arms pull tighter around his shoulders in response. This time, when she looks up to see Kie there, she's waving a quick goodbye and setting off toward her car, clearly giving JJ the space he needs.
"We can go to the beach," she says softly, "I have a towel in the back of the van, we can just lay there and talk about it if you want."
The idea of her kind offer to him should add to the comfort he finds in her embrace. It should make him nod and whisper his gratitude to her for being the one person that knows him better than anyone, but it brings him back to the gloomy headspace he was in before seeing her.
It started as a minor distraction when he first arrived at school after carpooling with Kie. It followed him in the quieter moments, only making appearances when he wasn't distracted with more pressing matters. It began as that and built the closer the day came to ending. The sooner his inevitable visit back to his childhood home came, the more he lost himself in his fear, reverting back to a state of helplessness he now occupies with no small amount of shame.
His bottom lip trembles with the urge to cry.
"Can we stop somewhere on the way home first?"
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The last place she expected him to drive the Twinkie is here.
As they made their way down each street, taking each turn necessary to bring them closer to the house he seldom let her go to over the course of their lifelong friendship, she felt her heart begin to race. And now, as the van rolls to a stop in the yard in front of his house, she has swallow back the lump in her throat at the sight of it.
She has only been here a few times.
The first time, she was seven years old.
It was a sweltering summer morning in the Outer Banks for her and John B as they set off to retrieve their friend after he missed their plans to meet up at the Chateau for a day of having fun, riding bikes, and playing on the boat. Pirates and Princesses was her favorite game to play with them because JJ would switch roles with her halfway through when she grew tired of being the damsel John B had to rescue from the most cruel and vicious Captain Jesse James Maybank.
The HMS Pogue would rock beneath his feet as he marched across the deck of the boat and took her place as the kidnapped Princess Routledge. He handed off his "sword" to her, a stick he found in the yard, and stood at the edge of the boat with his hands behind his back as though he were a tied up damsel in distress for her to hold captive. The sun setting behind them laid a picturesque backdrop that made the scene all the more vivid to their imaginative young minds.
The boat floated in the afternoon current as John B approached the pair with his best pretend face of worry for the fair Princess Maybank, who had the sharp sword of the pirate queen pressing into his throat with the threat of death should he have tried to escape.
Sometimes, she'd let John B advance on them and tie make believe rope around her wrists and ankles while he and Princess Maybank claimed their victory. Other times, they'd get backed up until the heels of her sneakers hung off the edge of the slippery deck. One move from her brother would have her yell something along the lines of not taking either of them alive, then she'd let her and JJ fall back into the marsh together with gleeful laughs infiltrating the humid air upon their return to the surface.
On the day he didn't show up, none of that happened. She and John B rode their bikes together along sidewalks until they pulled into a driveway marked with the address number he remembered from the other time he sought him out to play before.
Y/N didn't understand what they were hearing when they pushed their kickstands down and called out for their friend, but John B's little face blanched at the sound flooding out of the opened windows of the dilapidated yellow house. It was a combination of banging against the walls, glass shattering, and childlike shouts of frustration and pain. Her big brother placed himself in front of her protectively when the front door opened and smacked against the side of the house, but it wasn't his dad storming out of the house, it was JJ.
His eyes widened at the sight of the siblings standing there, and his heart dropped to his stomach at the realization that they heard it. Maybe not all of it, but based on how the girl peeking out around John B's shoulder looked at him, they heard some.
The van is parked in the exact same place their bikes once were, the exact place she and John B stood years ago when they were first confronted with the harsh reality about their best friend's home life, and he looks like he has fully backpedaled into the state of mind his childhood self inhabited. Even when he turns the key in the ignition and lets the rumbling engine sputter down in silence, he sits in the driver's seat with his lip drawn between his teeth in thought.
Yet as soon as she summons the courage to say something, he takes a deep breath and opens the door without a warning or the typical instruction for her to stay in the car. He doesn't tell her to follow him in, nor does he order her to stay out as he used to when his dad still lived inside. He gives her the choice to make on her own, and, when faced with the opportunity to support him or stay outside like the confused little girl she once was, she chooses the first option.
Her swift steps kick dirt up from the earth onto her ankles as she follows him out of the van to the front steps of the house. She tries not to make her concern for him as evident as it'd be without her intervention on her way up the porch, but it's impossible to erase every sign of it from her face.
It isn't a particularly special or scary house. It's a normal home that'd likely look more inviting if JJ were still living here to mow the lawn and tend to the household upkeep his father saddled him with since he was old enough to be put to work. But she knows better than to trust the street appeal. As he takes her hand to lead them through the threshold of the haunted structure, she is overcome with a sense of creeping trepidation that she can't shake.
"You're sure he isn't here?" she asks.
The entryway is crowded with stacks of mail his father wasn’t bothered to open, as well as empty cardboard boxes that once held cans of beer that are scattered, empty, in various places around the house. Her question is answered by the state of the rooms they breeze past in the direction of his bedroom, but she needed something to say to fill the silence. With them, they usually don’t feel uncomfortable not speaking to each other, but this feels different.
The way he stares out in front of him with his hand squeezing hers hard enough to cut off circulation unnerves her more than the tainted energy of the house itself. He isn't himself. He's a shell of the JJ they know and love, the JJ who is most comfortable tucked away in the safe walls of the Chateau with their friends, not here. If anything, how he is while he's here is the antithesis of his behavior while living with her.
Ever since John B died, he's practically moved in with her. When they're hidden away in her house without the reminders of his home life in sight, he's usually the caretaker of the relationship. It comes naturally to their dynamic, both with him being slightly older and his promise to take care of her, but everything is flipped here. It's an alternate reality for him, or, perhaps, actual reality smacking him in the face after a carefully constructed two months in utopia with her.
They come to a stop in front of his closed bedroom door.
"He's gone," he says, not even sparing a glance at her for reasons she can't decipher, "He texted me a few days ago to say goodbye."
With that, he turns the doorknob and lets the door swing open to reveal the bedroom she only saw one other time.
The second time, she was thirteen years old.
It was a Friday.
Since his dad was supposed to be at work, they stopped at his house on their way home from school exactly like they did today so he could share with their friends what he got from his cousin the night before. Being the good girl she was, she didn't even know what he was showing her when he dug it out of the backpack in the bottom of his closet.
Her brows furrowed at the ziploc bag, more specifically the contents inside of it. She was knelt down on the floor in front of the opened closet door with her shoulder pressed up against his to inspect it. The dried green cluster of a plant didn't look like anything she'd seen before, and she couldn't help but ask him what the hell it was rather than react the way he knew the others would.
"What is it? It looks like dried up moss."
JJ laughed and pulled another bag with rolling papers and a grinder stowed inside.
"It's weed. My cousin Ricky gave me a discount since—"
He halted mid-sentence abruptly enough to startle her, his head turning in the direction of where he heard a trunk pulling up to the front of the house. Her stare was still set on where he was holding the plastic bags in his hands, and she noticed, after he stopped speaking in reaction to his dad coming home, that his hands began trembling. It was so minimal, she almost didn't catch it until she saw the bag wavering under the light coming in from his window.
Before she could open her mouth to say anything more, she felt his hands on her shoulders shoving her into the closet. He followed in closely behind her and crawled in until they were both crammed into the confined space together. With the closet doors shut in front of them, he clamped a hand over her mouth, whispering in her ear for her to be quiet.
She stands with her arms crossed over herself in the center of his room, and though nothing has yet to be said or done to convince her anything is wrong, that's the exact reason why she feels so unnerved by the entire experience of coming here.
He's silent.
The closet doors are wide open as he stuffs the rest of the clothes he had yet to bring to the Chateau into the biggest bag he could find. He rips through his belongings in a fit of melancholy driven anger. His thoughts are swirling with similar memories to the ones she conjures from being here again, but his are tinged with a darkness hers don't have, even with hearing him crying in pain as a child and hiding in the closet with his hand smothering her mouth to evade his dad.
JJ visibly grimaces at the memories he's forced to relive in flashes with every glimpse he gets of the room he spent so much time hiding in. It used to be more tolerable to be here, or at least easier to suffer through. At least he was used to it before, but he got so accustomed to life somewhere else that the second he was confronted with coming back, he started to fall apart.
Whatever he can't live without, he finds space for it in the bag and prepares to leave the rest behind. But every object he touches and step he takes around the room brings him back to the person who he spent his adolescence simultaneously fleeing and wanting more from. More notably, it brings him back to the train of thought that has been nagging him ever since he texted him over the weekend.
The third and final time she came here was over the summer.
It happened right before Hurricane Agatha waged war on the island, when none of the Pogues heard from JJ for two days after he said he had to go home to help his dad with something. She didn't want to track him down to his house after they went over twenty-four hours without a single message. She didn't want to have to go back to the house that gave her chills to think about, let alone go to again after they hid in his closet when they were younger, but he gave her no other choice.
What was she supposed to do except go check on him where he last said he'd be? After all, if she lived in the hazardous environment he did, he'd do the exact same for her. If their friends were involved in her thoughts at the time, they would've gone out on a limb to say he would've gone beyond what she did to protect her if the situation were flipped. If he knew someone was hurting her, he would've come in swinging first and asked questions later, but, in her defense, he strictly told her to never come back to his house. By walking over in the first place, she was breaking one of the fundamental rules of their friendship.
Nevertheless, she found herself crouching around the side of his house to find his bedroom window and check if he was in there. Kie and Pope weren't aware of what was happening with his dad yet, but she and John B accidentally found out years ago, so she wasn't wondering why he wasn't answering them, she was wondering if he was alive.
Part of her truly thought underneath it all that Luke might've killed him. He might've been too drunk or high and went too far when beating him, too far to the point where he didn't want to risk going to jail to take him to the hospital for help. She couldn't live with herself if she didn't check, and if he got pissed at her for showing up against his wishes and didn't want to speak to her ever again, she could live with that.
She knocked on his window in a cadenced beat loud enough for it to heard through the room but not any further. After the first series of knocks, no one came to the window. It ripped her heart to pieces to wonder if she'd see him again as she continued to knock and allowed the sound to increase in volume in hopes that maybe he was asleep, but it didn't bring anyone to the window.
It wasn't until she turned back around to go to the front of the house again that she bumped right into the solid wall of his chest and was pushed back up against the house. The question of what she was doing there was on the tip of his tongue, but she said something that stopped him from asking it.
Her arms were thrown around his shoulders in a desperate bear hug.
"Oh God, JJ, you scared me half to death!" she cried into the front of his shirt, "I thought he killed you!"
He can't help but think of it as he packs his belongings away for a final time to bid his hellish childhood home goodbye: What kind of life are they going to have together if they can't get off this island? Running away may have been an idealistic drunken fantasy for him to entertain after his conversation with Pope got him to admit his true feelings for her, but they both know his consistency can't be trusted.
One moment, he's planning to tell her. The next, a day like today comes along, sweeps his legs out from beneath his body, and he's questioning whether it's worth it to force her to put up with his fickle commitment to her. It isn't fair to her, is it?
Right now is just about when he'd normally start to hyperventilate with an oncoming wave of panic, and he does, but he can't let it fully sweep into him with her here. He fights the urge to smack his head with the heel of his palm, as if that'd forcibly remove the poisonous thoughts infiltrating his mind and ruining the careful work they've done together to remedy their issues with communicating their feelings.
Just like you ruin everything, a thought whispers in the corner of his mind. What made you think this would be any different?
His actions around the room have turned somewhat aimless and distracted, which she notices as soon as he starts to disintegrate into a mess of heavy breaths and self-sabotaging thoughts. She picks up on the shift in his energy as soon as the anxiety starts to wash over him, and she'll be damned if she continues to stand here quietly to let it happen.
It's one thing if he's being silent because being here upsets him, or if he simply doesn't know what to say, but she refuses to let him tailspin into a mental breakdown without doing something to stop it. Whether he knows it or not, after what they went through with him trying to push her away last week, she knows what's occurring within his mind right now.
He flinches at the feeling of her hand grabbing his shoulder to turn him to face her at first, and when she reaches again with her other hand to try to hold his hand as he cries, he shrugs off her touch.
"JJ..." she lets the solemn sound of her own voice murmuring his name trail off, "it's just me."
His head shakes at her consoling words. Everything else inside of his mind is so earth-shatteringly loud, he can't drown it out with logic or reason to bring himself away from the memories of his dad. Those intrusive thoughts keep attacking him with doubled, then tripled force the harder he tries to resist them, and he's so exhausted from it. All of it—the memories, his dad going to jail, and his inability to accept her love to its fullest extent without convincing himself she'll abandon him—is exhausting.
This time, when she rests her hand on his shoulder, he swats it away as the frustration of today crushing him with the force of an avalanche. Not to hurt or scare her, but to get her hands off of him before he bursts out of his skin with the sickness it stirs in his stomach. So detached from himself, he anticipates pain from every touch she gives him, and he knows it hurts her.
JJ hardly recognizes his own voice as he backs away from her a step and says, "Don't."
He can tell it hurts her based on how she looks at him immediately after, but he can't handle being touched right now. How did this happen so quickly? It was overwhelming when they first parked outside, but as soon as he stepped foot inside, it was as if a switch was flipped inside of him and all of the buried feelings he kept hidden over the past two weeks exploded into this.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"You need to leave. I just-I can't breathe and"—He still refuses to look up from the ground or see her face as he paces around the room with no real intent in mind—"You can't see me like this."
That is what breaks her out of her soft spoken, timid attitude to handle the situation the way it needs to be handled. Their natural dynamic worked best for him to take charge when she had her panic attack because JJ acts first and thinks later. He saw that she was in distress and jumped in to help her before things got worse rather than allowing her to keep him at an arms length where he couldn't do anything about it.
Taking a page from his rule book, she takes action.
The room surrounding them is in a state of disarray from him searching through it for the items of clothing and objects now stashed in his duffel bag. There are multiple obstacles in her way as she steps between them like navigating a minefield to reach him after he backed away in instinctual fear, but they don't stop her from reaching him. Nothing could.
Y/N walks right up to him and reaches to grasp his face between her hands, forcing him to stop pacing around and actually look at her for the first time since they arrived her so he hears what she says. To say the least, the way he looks right now is enough to make her cry. There are tears welled up to the brims of his blue eyes, his lips are downturned with his sobs, and he's staring at her like she's about to strike him.
She says it as slowly and clearly as she needs to get it through his head, "He's not here," and before he manages to squeeze out another word of doubt between his rapid inhalations, she cuts in, "Take deep breaths."
He isn't listening to her.
The movement of his chest that hits hers from how close they stand to each other has yet to settle into the familiar pace she remembers from nights of falling asleep with the rhythm of his breaths beneath her head.
Her eyes search his face frantically, from left to right and top to bottom, for any sign of the person she's known for years, but she doesn't see him. Instead, she sees the same panicked child her and John B saw the first time they visited this house. It's uncanny how similar the expression in his face is. It feels to her as if she's been hurled back in time to the moment itself, and when she tries to think about what would've worked with him back then, she doesn't know what else to do except help him escape.
So, with the helplessness of having to watch him turn into a sobbing, incoherent mess, she decides to step into the darkness with him and do what seven year old Y/N would've done. Just like their games of make believe, of pirates and princesses, she assumes the role John B would have and rescues him from what holds him captive. It’s his own mind in this case, but, in the physical sense, it's the house.
She drops her hands from his face and takes his hand in hers to drag him out of the room. The packed bag sits on the floor in their wake as she pulls him back through the bedroom door and into the living room, not caring about what they came here to do.
It doesn't matter anymore.
The various rooms of his dad's house pass by them in a blur as she leads him down the hallway to the front door with one sole objective in mind: get him out of here. If he wants his stuff to bring back to the Chateau, she'll go back inside and get whatever he needs her to, but she isn't letting him inside of this house again. Not under her watch.
Thankfully, since he is undeniably stronger than her and she wouldn't have stood a chance, he doesn't fight it. He stumbles after her guiding hand the same way he always has, just like how he followed her back to the Chateau after she and John B saw him that day when they were kids. She led the way as he sat on the handlebars of her brother's bike, and he watched her hair flutter in the wind with the momentum of their bicycle spokes until the tears dried up.
He watches her drag him out of the home until they've reached the safety of the yard at the bottom of the porch steps, and as soon as the soles of her shoes meet the dirt, she feels his hand slipping out of hers.
"JJ?"
She turns around to see him clutching his chest, rubbing his hand along the front of his shirt over his heart as though it'll loosen up the tightened muscles preventing him from catching his breath. His body weight is leaned onto the railing of the porch steps for support. He's partially slumped on it, looking at her desperately, like she somehow knows the answer to every question screamed inside of his head, and she has never felt as useless.
"You're gonna leave," JJ says through the gasps and cries that leave his cheeks stained with tears.
When she reaches out again to help him remain upright without leaning over the railing, he doesn't shove her hands away as he did inside of his bedroom. It's a small battle won, but she takes it as a win nonetheless.
"What are you saying? I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere—"
"You're gonna leave! Everybody does! My mom, John B, my dad, and you"—his head falls to look at the ground instead of her, and she watches him work through it in his head—"I mean, look at me. You don't want this."
"Don't tell me what I want," she says.
Her voice remains as steady and calm as she can force it to be amidst the turbulent situation, but the way he said it...It takes her right back to sitting in the back of the Twinkie with him at the Cherry Bowl, except it's ten times worse. That felt like a break up, but based on what he's saying, this is one. She hasn't prepared herself for the heartache she feels in response to it.
"You don't want me, you just think you do 'cause I was there after John B died, but you don't. You're gonna go off, find some perfect guy that isn't as fucked up as me, and have a great life somewhere else, but it ain't here," JJ says, his breathing evening out with the distraction of the argument to keep him tethered tor reality, "And it won't be with me."
He can see it every time he's looked at her and debated saying those three titular words that have been floating around in his head since he first met her.
How could she want someone who can't walk into his childhood bedroom without breaking down, or someone who still has years-old scars from cigarette burns on his skin when she touches him? Her bright future contrasted with his pre-designated fate on the Cut, her personality better matched with someone more similar to her, her life continuing on whether he's there or not—it's his worst nightmare, but he's prepared to see it through.
What he doesn't expect is for her to hold her ground.
"You honestly think I'm buying into that bullshit?" she asks.
"What?"
She doesn't put it softly, she states facts with as much harshness as his cruel fantasy had, "You're trying to push me away and I won't let you."
Her typically sweet, soft features have hardened into a bitter expression he's sure he mirrors. The arms holding his waist to keep him upright move to climb up his chest and cup his face between her hands with all of the gentleness her face and voice don't have right now.
She sees right through him.
When he tries to look away again, to avert his eyes to make what he's trying to do easier on himself by not having to look at her when he does it, her grasp on his face holds firm. Her hands guide his chin back up so they're face to face, and he realizes what a mistake everyone makes in assuming her this dainty, broken girl whose only source of strength came from the brother she lost. She's a forest fire.
"You're not hearing what I'm saying—"
Y/N interjects, "I am hearing what you're saying, I'm just saying it's bullshit."
She refuses to let him off the hook, and though it frustrates him on the surface, deep down, it makes him fall in love with her all over again. Her insistence against his speech about her leaving him proves him wrong more than anything else could, 'cause he gave her the perfect chance to dip and she shot it down instantly.
The house looms behind them as a menacing presence that threatens to take control of him again, but she doesn't let it. She keeps his eyes on her no matter how many times he tries to look away and doesn't let anything get in the way of what she says next.
"You think that if you push me away and get me to leave you right now, it'll hurt less than it would if I did it later, and I don't accept that. I won't take the bait and let you torture yourself anymore, okay? I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I'll never leave you. Not willingly, anyway."
She looks into his eyes, and this time its softer, more loving, and he's never felt as understood as he does when she continues to speak.
"I'm in love with you. Whether it scares you or not, it's the truth, and I'll never stop saying it. If you think that your issues with your dad are gonna change that for me, you've officially lost your mind." Their noses brush as she leans in to ghost a kiss over his mouth and pulls away a second later to whisper, her forehead pressed to his, "I love you, JJ. Stop being so stubborn and just let me."
His next breath in trembles as he lets her words sink in, and he's stuck at a crossroads inside of himself without a clue of what to do.
The breeze blows her hair away from her face, the afternoon sunshine painting her golden, and when he sees her hair flutter in the air like it did so many years ago, he can't help but feel as calm as he did during their bike ride home. The further away he got from his dad and the house where it all happened, the calmer he grew, and it hits him at this moment that he's so taken aback by her confession to him, he forgot why he was so upset.
It's sobering. The intoxication of his panic hurtled him back in time to the frightened, childlike state of mind his dad's violent abuse often sent him to, but it was hearing her say those words he's feared for weeks that brought him back. Like the jolt of a defibrillator, he's roused back to life with more clarity than before.
She loves him, but, perhaps more importantly, she said she'd never leave him, and that is what he needed to hear more than anything. That is the statement worth more to him than the four letter word he has agonized over endlessly. No one else every attached the promise of "I love you" with the stipulation of it lasting forever. They said the empty words and contradicted it with their actions, but she hasn't done that. Her actions spoke the words long before her mouth did.
He sighs.
It's a deep, yearning sigh that sends him melting into her with the acceptance of what he's denied for too long. He savors the hands cradling his head, as well as the body pressed up against his that he has memorized down to every beauty mark and imperfection, and makes the right choice.
It isn't like it was the night at the Cherry Bowl, or the night he spoke to Pope about it. It still takes more bravery than he possesses to form the words, but there isn't a physical incapability stopping him anymore. It's just him against the trauma beckoning him into its trap again, and he won't let it lure him back into that house.
"Alright," JJ says to her through a sniffle in acceptance to her command, as if he were agreeing on afternoon surfing plans rather than something as monumental as allowing someone to love him, then continues onto with a timid tone, "I love you too."
Before he can watch for her reaction, she's surging forward through the few inches of space left between them to connect their lips in a kiss.
It's vastly different to the kiss they shared in the hallway at school last Friday. In contrast to that one, the reigning emotion within him that drives the kiss after the hesitant beginning doesn't lead them into increased intensity, it gets gentler. It doesn't explode into chaos and passion, it's a tired kiss that he never wants to retreat from. It's the physical manifestation of his feelings for her underneath the guarded exterior he uses to protect himself: gentle and yielding, yet undeniably powerful.
He feels her smiling through her tears against his mouth. In the face of everything that happened this afternoon, he doesn't feel like he should be smiling back at her, but he does. He smiles while kissing her with tears streaming down his face, still reeling from his traumatic response to coming home for the final time, and wonders how a person can feel such contradicting emotions all at once.
Y/N is the one who starts to pull away first, though it's only to check in on him. If she had it her way, she could stay here with him until the sun sets, but he did just come back from the brink of a full-blown panic attack, so she can't in good conscience ignore his well-being for the momentary bliss of their love confessions.
Her thumb brushes over his bottom lip, her smile drooping with worry as she asks, "Wanna spend the rest of the day on the boat? You always say being on the water makes you feel better. Maybe it'll make it easier to talk about it."
His Adam's apple bobs with how he swallows the lump in his throat.
"Can we maybe take baby steps for now? I don't think I can handle telling you all that shit yet."
It was already enough to allow her to follow him into the house, watch him break down into a fit of panic no one else has seen him in, and tell her he loved her, but it'd cross the line into uncharted territory to talk about everything between him and his dad so openly. Between the minor annoyance of dealing with Kacey to this hellish visit home, he thinks he's reached his quota on feeling uncomfortable today.
She nods in agreement.
"Baby steps."
Drawn back to each other by a force stronger than gravity, they collide again, but it isn't a kiss this time. It's a hug charged with all of the previously unspoken emotions they've buried inside of themselves for years, the same hug she gave him the last time she came to this house with the fear of his potential death lingering in her thoughts.
She throws herself at him with the same desperation she did that day and relishes the feeling of his muscular arms returning the embrace until their bodies are tangled together. She'd usually never refer to something as inherently affectionate as an embrace as violent, but it's the closest she can come to capturing how it feels as their bodies meet. It makes her lose her footing on the bottom step they stand on together, teetering on the edge she'd surely slip off of with the force if not for him keeping her steady.
He's about to say something, a thank you to her for calling him out on his bullshit and not letting him go that easily, when the grating sound of her ringtone blares from the back pocket of her denim shorts.
The contact popping up on the screen along with a series of frantic messages when she pulls away from him to answer shows Pope's name.
Pope You and JJ need to get back to the Chateau ASAP!!
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The van doors slam shut behind Y/N and JJ as soon as it rolls to a stop in front of the Chateau.
Under the assumption that something dire happened, as in injury or death or catastrophic damage to the house itself, they bolted off of that porch faster than they knew they could move. She only turned back when she remembered the packed back of JJ's things they abandoned on his bedroom floor and, not wanting him to reenter the house, she brought it back to the Twinkie in record time.
They're preparing to trample up the porch into the house like a stampede of animals when they hear Kie calling them over to the backyard and change direction.
"No one's hurt!" she shouts, knowing that was likely where their minds went after everything they went through during the summer, "You have to see this though, I don't know who did it!"
Sticks and fallen leaves crunch beneath her feet on her way around the side of the house. Her mind races with the possibility of what could've happened that didn't hurt their friends but necessitated a series of texts and calls as frantic as the ones she received at JJ's house. She drove over here in defiance of the speed limit, something she rarely does, and prayed nothing terrible was happening.
It gave her flashbacks to when she found out John B and Sarah died in the storm. The pedal beneath her foot brought the van to an uncomfortably swift speed, then she remembered the sound of Shoupe's voice when he gave them the news. JJ warned her to slow down, then she remembered how it took multiple people to help her restrain him from attacking the new sheriff for letting his men drive their friends into their deaths.
At first, she doesn't realize what's wrong.
Kiara and Pope are standing and waiting for them across the grass near the large tree that sits as a centerpiece to their yard. Based on the body language screaming their frustration and the tears in their eyes, she can tell something bad did happen, but it's not clear what it is until she looks past them to the tree. More specifically, until she looks at what's on the tree.
"Oh my god," she whispers to herself.
Her hand is already up to cover her mouth and conceal the instantaneous frown besmirching her previously relaxed face. They both are stopped in their tracks halfway to where their friends are standing, and she can’t hear JJ's reaction over the rising volume of her hysterical thoughts.
Spray painted in red on top of their memorial for John B are the words "COP KILLER" in bold letters that conceal what they burned into the tree trunk for his gravestone. It sticks out from the beauty of the greens, browns, blues, and swathes of other earthy tones composing the scenery around the Chateau like a thorn amongst flowers, so much so that she wonders how she didn't instantly see it when they rounded the corner to come back here.
Yet that isn't the only thing amiss in the peaceful sanctuary they call home, there are random things strewn around the ground around the tree. An old t-shirt spray painted with the word "murderer" on the front, four ripped up envelopes, and a gorgeous mahogany jewelry box...broken on the grass.
The freshly turned dirt they had the contents of the box buried beneath is scattered around the trashed area as well. It clicks with her a few seconds late that whoever came here to do this must have seen the pinwheel she put in the ground to mark the "grave" and dug it up to add insult to injury.
She moves forward without consciously realizing it and stumbles until she reaches the first object of the debris field. Before this, she was doing a masterful job of holding in her cries, but as soon as she crouches down to pick up the pieces of the jewelry box, the lid snapped clean off the hinges to separate it from the bottom section, it comes rushing out of her against her will. The first unrestrained keen is the first thing to snap JJ out of his shell shocked trance.
He walks after her as fast as his legs will take him without breaking into a run, but she isn't letting him get close before she puts the box back down and shuffles forward to collect the torn letter remains. She doesn't want them to get blown away by the wind anymore than they already might have been, so she scrambles to gather the pieces until they're cupped in her hands to protect them.
"Why?" she asks and looks up at Kie and Pope with tears dripping down her face, "Why would anyone do this? Who would do this?"
Pope says, "My guess is as good as yours. We didn't see anyone leaving when we got here, so it must've happened before school ended. This is all we saw before we called you guys."
For a second or two, JJ is grasping at straws for why this happened and who did it like the rest of them are, but then something Pope said makes it click into place. It sets off a domino effect in his mind as he brings back the memory of a certain offspring of satan being absent from gym this afternoon despite being at school earlier, since his encounter with her before Physics made him, unfortunately, aware of her existence again.
His face is set in anger, jaw clenching with the tension of him grinding his teeth together, and he takes his hat off to fidget with it between his hands for a second. Their friends are too focused on her crying to see him contemplating it, but as soon as he speaks, they look up to see him setting his hat back onto his head in preparation to leave and track Kacey down.
Y/N's head snaps up from the torn letters in her hands to the sight of him storming off across the yard with his only goodbye being the words, "I'm gonna kill that bitch."
Her and Pope stare after him in shock, unable to put the pieces together about who that "bitch" is, but Kie doesn't miss a single beat. While Y/N is crumpled over on the ground in tears, she's rushing after JJ before he can approach the bike parked in front of the house. He doesn't even make it five steps before he feels her hands latching onto his wrist to stop him.
She asks, "Who the hell are you talking about? And why would they do this?"
His eyes narrow at her. His unreleased frustration for the situation in general and having to watch Y/N cry after an emotional afternoon together comes rushing out when he snaps at her.
"Kacey. She talked shit at school and I put her in her place. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna pay her a little visit."
He yanks his arm sharply towards himself to free it from her grip, but she's a step ahead of him. Quicker than he can think to stop her, Kie swipes the keys hanging out of his back pocket away and throws them to Pope, who, bless his heart, can't catch to save his life. The key ring jingles with its contact at the dead center of his chest, and she mouths an apology to him before turning back to face JJ.
"What the fuck, Kie?"
He makes to stomp past her and retrieve the keys from Pope only to be stopped by her hands reaching out to grab his shoulders.
"Listen to me, you can't go anywhere. Look at her," she whispers lowly enough to keep Y/N from hearing, pointing behind her to where she sits on the ground with Pope knelt beside her, "I wouldn't put it past Kacey to pull a stunt like this. I'm just as mad as you, but revenge can wait and you know it. She needs you."
The fury visible in his expression is subdued by looking past Kie's shoulder to see Y/N crying softly to Pope about the vandalized memorial.
The last time he saw her so distraught over something, it was the day they made the memorial and buried the box in the first place. She sits on her knees with her mom's broken jewelry box between them, shuddering with the sobs she has no control over, and pours the torn paper into the empty bottom half of the box. Exhausted to the core, she looks more like a sullen, kicked puppy than she does herself.
It makes his anger-fueled instincts that urge him to hunt Kacey down and do something, anything he can to make her feel the pain they do right now bubble down into sorrow. It's visible in his eyes when he looks at her.
Kie knows she's gotten under his skin when he sighs, sparing a parting glance to the bike in the driveway, and nods once at her before setting off back to where they're sitting in the grass.
Meanwhile, Y/N is stuck staring down at the disarray of her backyard with nothing but pain aching through her to the bone.
Her brother did wrong things sometimes as a consequence of being human, but never this, never something worthy of having his name dragged through the mud and being branded a murderer after his death. He stole scuba gear from Ward and broke dozens of laws in their hunt for the gold, but he never crossed that line into moral bankruptcy. Rafe did, and it kills JJ to see someone like Kacey do this to his best friend while hanging off of Rafe and his friends like a leech.
The fabric of his worn t-shirt is tarnished by the dried paint clinging to the front of it to the spell the lie written there, and her vision blurs with tears for what feels like the millionth time in the span of an hour. First, it was JJ. Now, it's John B, and she can't help but wonder if the heartache will ever end. It began to feel better over the course of the week, her grief for him slowly beginning to slip from her mind until now. Until the storm clouds converged again to batter her with another wave of it.
Through the deafening volume of her mind racing with thoughts and feelings to process what's happened, she hears Pope shuffling around to stand on his feet. Then, another person sits down in his place and scoots closer until their bodies are touching, and she knows it's him. She doesn't have to wait to hear his voice or look to see his face, she can tell based on the feeling of his touch and the smell of him she's so intimately familiar with, yet couldn't describe it aloud if she tried.
He doesn't smother her. He sits close enough to touch her and doesn't push it any further.
The background of the pale, cloudless sky frames him in the foreground like the subject of a painting—a living, breathing painting that she could study endlessly. The other trees planted in the yard's leaves flutter distantly behind him and try to draw her gaze away, but she keeps her eyes on him.
Maybe that's how it is, she thinks.
Maybe it'll get better and worse in a dance that'll only stop when they're no longer here to agonize over it. Maybe this is what moving on from John B will always be like. It'll feel like they've made strides in the right direction, then something will come along to shatter it to sharp pieces that'll reopen their stitched up wounds. If that's the case, at least the four of them have each other to lean on when it gets worse again.
JJ sits with her and lets her crawl onto his lap, resting her head on his shoulder, until the sun sinks below the horizon.
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The gentle bobbing of the HMS Pogue at the surface of the water steadies her amidst her eddying thoughts. It keeps her present to the moment the way the ropes tying the boat to the dock keeps it from floating adrift into the marsh. It's a motion engrained in her from the start of her life until now from countless days spent on the water. Whether it be for fishing, swimming, or playing make believe with her boys all those years ago, it's as much a part of her as her personality or body itself.
JJ was right about one thing: being out on the water makes it easier to think.
He hasn't followed her out since she woke up before sunrise and snuck out of bed to come here. Despite her efforts not to wake him, he woke up when she disentangled her body from his, silently cursing the fact that they always cuddle so closely, and he tried to pull her back to him with a whine of displeasure in his groggy, half-asleep state. Sleep finally found them after hours of staying up together to talk about what Kacey did, unable to relax from the chaos of yesterday, so he wasn't prepared to wake up that soon.
"Go back to sleep, angel," she whispered as she hovered over him, brushing a chaste kiss to his lips that he was too tired to return.
That was the last time she saw him since this morning, and now that the sun has risen to its peak in the sky without her moving an inch from her perch atop the bow of the boat, she's begun to wonder if he's awake yet. It isn't uncommon for them to sleep in for half of the day when there isn't school or work, so it isn't surprising to her that he's just now waking up when she hears the back door to the Chateau opening and closing.
Unbeknownst to her, JJ has been awake the entire morning since she left bed.
They were so attached to each other yesterday night, he didn't have the time to put it together without her seeing and ruining the surprise, but once he heard the door to the porch close to signify her leaving, he kicked the blankets off of himself and got to work. He wasn't originally planning on starting so early, since they stayed up late into the night together, but once he woke up to the feeling of her sneaking out of his arms, he was too awake to fall back asleep.
The sound of his footsteps on the dock warns her of his approach, but she doesn't raise her head from where she rests it in her palms to stare out at the water.
"I was wondering when you'd finally wake up," she says.
There's another few steps, then the boat jostles with his weight stepping onto it.
He doesn't say anything to her in response. The only clue she gets as to what he's doing are the footsteps on the deck that lead closer to her until she feels him sitting down on the bow next to where she is. And she's about to open her mouth to ask if he's okay when he sets something down in front of her.
It's a shoe box.
Y/N turns to see him, eyes flickering over his tired face, and looks back at the box with furrowed brows.
"What is this?"
His hair is messy, exactly how it was when she left him in bed this morning, and if she weren't more focused on the mysterious box he plopped down in front of her, she'd be combing through it with her fingers. He's gotten used to those casual displays of affection from her; how she runs her hands through his hair on mornings before school when he forgets to brush it, or when she fixes a button on his flannel that he missed.
JJ's lips are tipped in a smile, and she can't help but blush with how he looks at her. She never used to see it, but he has always looked at her like this. Like he's hopelessly, utterly in love with her. Even before they lost John B, back when he'd expend all of his romantic and sexual attention on girls he hardly knew, he still looked at her this way.
He gestures at it and says, "Open it."
The lid of the box is coated in a freshly dried layer of blue paint to match the shade of the sky overhead. She knows instantly that he must have dug through the arts and crafts box she specifically labeled with a warning for him and John B to stay out. It's painted with aimlessly sloppy brushstrokes and stickers placed at every corner of the cardboard box, all of which she recognizes from the stash she kept under her bed alongside the India ink he borrowed last Friday.
As she gives him a skeptical look and reaches to lift the lid off of the shoe box, she makes a mental note to rewrite the label on the arts and crafts box without the warning for him to keep out. Since John B isn't here to steal anything from it and JJ never follows that rule anyway, it's redundant at this point.
Any skepticism is washed away from her face as soon as she flips the lid open to reveal what's inside. It leaves her speechless as she looks down at it all.
"JJ..." she murmurs in awe.
Sitting at the bottom of it is a folded up t-shirt she saw JJ wear multiple times, but never again since John B died. He refused to glance at the shirt his best friend gave him the year before they never saw him again, let alone dig it out of the corner of her closet where he keeps his things...until now.
But that's a scratch on the surface of all of the things about his gift that stuns her to silence. The next thing to catch her immediate attention is a picture she hasn't seen in years.
It's one that Big John took of the three of them together right where she and JJ are sitting. She was much younger in it, flashing a toothy grin with her arms thrown over both boys' shoulders. To her left, John B was leaning his head on her shoulder. To her right, JJ was wearing an eyepatch they crafted out of an old black shirt he stole from his dad. It was cut with the kitchen scissors and tied around the back of his head in a knot.
She brushes her thumb over John B's face, then sets the crinkled photograph back down atop the folded shirt and moves her attention to the last surprise.
Letters.
Torn up pieces of paper painstakingly taped back together sit one on top of the other, some missing pieces here or there, and it makes her mouth part in shock. Her hands shuffle the letters apart to see each one and recognize the handwriting: Kie's bubbly, swirling letters, Pope's neat cursive, hers, and JJ's chicken scratch writing that she's able to decipher from years of proofreading his essays.
She pictures him at her desk all morning while she was sitting out here, ripping tape off of the roll and arranging the puzzle pieces of the ripped letters until he was sure he got it right. It made him want to rip the hair from his scalp, but he sat there and pushed through the frustration to make it as perfect as he could for her. The missing pieces were primarily from Kie's letter, which fluttered away on a balmy breeze when Kacey tore it up and threw it to the ground, but the one he wanted her to have the most wasn't missing more than a single piece.
Y/N looks up from the letters held like a precious treasure in her hands to see him watching her with that same classic JJ smile on his face, but he doesn't let her get a word in yet.
"Go on," he says, leaning closer to pull his letter to John B out and place it on top of the pile for her to read, "I want you to read it."
"You didn't let me read it when I asked before though, are you sure you—"
He interrupts her before she can worry herself over it, "Dude, just read it. I promise I'm fine with it. I want you to."
The letters crinkle under her touch as she looks back down and smooths them out on the deck enough to read through the clear tape. With one last confirming glance to him for permission, she takes a deep breath and reads the first line.
Dear John B,
You really know how to keep a guy on his toes, don't you? You really outdid yourself on this one. I was so sure we were gonna make it, but I guess you had to go all Romeo and Juliet on us, huh? As long as you and Sarah are happy macking on each other in heaven, it's okay.
In all seriousness, I fucking miss you, bro. I miss you more than I realized a person could miss another person. Whenever I need to talk to you again, I don't know what to do. I guess that's why it's good that Y/N made me write this.
Also, I'm really sorry for—
"What does it say there? There's a whole chunk missing," she murmurs.
He scoots close enough to her that she can feel his body warmth radiating onto her through the shoulder of his flannel. Sunlight reflects on the silver rings decorating his fingers as he holds one side of the paper to tilt it enough for him to squint at.
"Macking, I think. It's supposed to say "I'm sorry for macking on your sister."
—macking on your sister. You can totally kick my ass for it, but before you come back from the grave to murder me, let me defend myself, okay? She isn't just another girl for me, John B.
I think you knew it before I did.
Last summer, you asked me straight up if we were hooking up behind your back after I kissed her in front of you on the porch. I laughed in your face, but you were right.
You saw everything before me, man. You knew I loved her since we were kids and waited for us to come to you about it, so that's gotta mean something, right? I hope it means you wouldn't be mad at me for this.
I swear I won't fuck it up with her, but you already know that. That's why you asked me to take care of her,. I didn't know why at the time but I do now. I won't let you down.
I'm keeping my promise.
- JJ
P.S. Don't miss me too much. We'll be shotgunning beers together up there before you know it.
There are tears blooming in her eyes when she lifts her gaze from the tattered paper to look at him again, but they aren't sad. For once, the tears slipping down her cheeks are happy tears, not born from grief, sadness, and pain, but bittersweet happiness.
They're caught staring at each other for a second before he asks her shyly, "It isn't too sappy or anything, is it? 'Cause I thought it—"
"C'mere," is the only thing she can get out before she's tugging him forward by the front of his shirt to kiss him.
JJ stumbles a little with the unexpected force of her pulling him to her, but he takes it in stride. He steadies himself and lets his hands shoot out to grapple for purchase on her waist, keeping her pressed up against him tightly as he kisses her back.
And it doesn't get much better than this, does it? This is it for him. He meant what he wrote to John B, he won't fuck it up with her, especially not because of his trauma with his dad getting inside his head and sabotaging his relationship with her. This is what makes everything worth it.
It brings happy tears to his eyes too.
She can taste the salt of them where their lips meet in the middle. It makes her smile, wrapping her arms around his neck and clenching the letters he mended for her in her fist to keep them from blowing away in the wind, and they both start to laugh into each other's mouths at the poignant feeling they both share but can't quite place.
They pull away from each other to catch their breath after another moment of it, and she can't help but stare. How could she not when she feels like this? It’s less like he’s her boyfriend and more like a piece of her soul has attached itself to his with no hope of letting go in the near future.
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," she whispers to him.
Plain and simple. No room for disagreement or a bashful rejection of the compliment. She's pulled back from him enough to hold his gaze and make sure he sees her seriousness, and there isn't anything he can do to refute her statement.
He brushes his nose against hers affectionately, dipping down to kiss her again, but when he leans back to see her face, he can't help himself.
"Ditto."
The rest of the day after their moment on the boat, locked away in their own little world where none of the monsters chasing them could sneak through and ruin it, melts away peacefully. After another half hour spent looking through the box together, of her thanking him over and over again, he hops off of the HMS Pogue onto the dock and extends his hand to her in the most gentlemanly manner possible.
His lips are curved into a smirk as he kneels down on one knee as though she's a revered royal and bows his head in subservience, "Princess Routledge."
Her hand fits in his warm, calloused palm as a perfect match, and she steps off of the boat onto the dock beside him with an expression to match his.
"Captain Maybank," she says in her most regal royalty voice.
Her stellar performance breaks into a laugh they share as he stands and throws his arm around over her shoulder to walk back to the yard. The cardboard box is tucked beneath one of her arms while the other slips around his side to hold him back, and her heart feels full with both the presence of JJ and John B alongside her.
They bury it together.
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Tag List: @gabiatthedisco, @fangirlvoice, @black-syren, @apparrio, @particularcth, @planetdemon, @idk-ijustworkhere, and @krisphann
Also, now that it’s over, let me know what your favorite part was in the comments or tags if you’d like to :) I’m curious.
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violettelueur · 3 years
Text
— ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + RYOMEN SUKUNA || S/O THAT IS AN ANIME/MANGA LOVER
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↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + ryomen sukuna from jujutsu kaisen
↳ warnings : grammar issues
↳ form : headcanons
↳ published : 17 april
↳ pronouns : non specified in headcanon
↳ request : Hi!! I would like to order a large headcanon "Itadori, Fushiguro, Gojo, and Sukuna with a s/o who loves watching anime and reading mangas" please. Thank you! Also, I love your writing and omg your playlist!!! *chef's kiss* Period.
↳ barista’s notes : i’m glad that you really love my playlist ╲ʕ·ᴥ· ╲ʔ also right now, i am planning the death painting arc and trying to add in my idea that i have hinted in an ask! so i can’t wait for you guys to read it when i get the chance to write it ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ other than that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee and please come again soon!
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When Itadori finds out that you are an anime and manga lover, I feel like he would love you even more because you both have a common interest with each other now - like something he can talk about and share with you.
You and Itadori love suggesting manga to each other and sometimes you would suggest Josei manga to him (like Wotakoi) and in the beginning, he would be like “that isn’t really my type” but with a little persuasion and some pushing, he will take the time to read it.
Later on, he will become really invested in the characters’ relationship and will rant to you how the female is taking too long to confess or how cute the relationship is - basically, he has become more invested than you are.
Sometimes he will ask if you both could re-enact a romance scene together, it’s quite funny for him to ask because it’s just a normal kiss scene...but who is saying no?
He would also suggest manga series to you and of course, how could you even deny him when he is showing you an adorable face in a way to convince you to read it with him.
Instead of movie nights, there will be times where you guys would binge-watch a whole season one anime series and complain how there isn’t a season two at all - Fushiguro will complain about how loud you both are.
When you both go on date, you and Itadori will always end the day by going into a bookstore and pick out manga for each other because it’s interesting to see what you guys choose for each other - you will also buy some for yourselves but it’s fun!
There will be days (like your off day) where you and Itadori would just sit on his bed and read manga silently because it’s nice to feel each other’s presence.
Itadori will sometimes just say “amazing!” and show you what is happening which causes you to add that manga he is reading onto the list.
If you and Itadori are sorcerers, he will compare his powers to other characters from any manga he has read or anime he has watched - it’s like an amazing comparison to him.
Overall, anime and manga is another way to show your love to each other since you both can share everything with each other, but the time you both spend together is more appreciated as you and him are just living in the moment, away from the sorcery world.
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Fushiguro seems like the type of person to ask why you are into this stuff - something like “isn’t this for kids?”
When you hit him for what he just said, he will now shut his mouth about his comment and just leave you to your little obsession.
However, over time when you are reading manga, he will peek over your shoulder to see what you are reading and is somewhat interested in the drawings and art that are on the pages.
He will question how much time it takes to draw one panel and how a story can be told with such little worlds and a few pictures.
Later one, he will ask for some suggestions from you and if you start with shounen manga to him, he will be amazed at how much detail is drawn into a fight scene - he will ask from time to time what is going on and please explain it to him.
When he goes to the bookstore to grab something to read since he has finished all of his, he will look at the manga section to pick up the next volume you need as well as the first volume of the manga you had recommended to him.
Like Itadori, he really likes it when you both cuddle and just read together in his dorm room - it’s just nice to feel each other’s presence.
When it comes to anime, he has learned from his past actions to not comment about “is this kid’s stuff” and will watch it with you to see what it is and to make you happy.
Later one, he will never admit it, but he really does get invested in the shows and will sometimes watch a few episodes ahead of you because he couldn’t wait until your next anime night.
Fushiguro also seems like the type to question some decisions the anime characters make because some of them are dumb - he’s also the type to ask why Asta from Black Clover is so loud.
Overall, Fushiguro slowly gets into your little hobby of anime and manga, but he isn’t too in love like you are. However, he does appreciate how you both spend time together with these things since he got to learn about you more.
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When Gojo finds your stash of manga books in your room, he is the type that will tease you for it and comment on how much money you have spent since your shelf is full of manga books.
Of course, you would tease him back for spending so much money on sweets and he will pout at you while saying that he ‘can’t help it’.
Gojo is also the type of person that will flick through the manga book and will bend the spine of them causing you to beat him up because….just no.
He will buy you another copy because he now realises how precious your manga books are to you - he will complain that he is more precious than them.
Every time he makes a teasing comment about you reading manga, you will always hit him back with the whole ‘at least the boys are better boyfriends than you’ comment - he will pout at you before clinging on to you, telling you to take that back.
Gojo does like to snatch your manga book out of your hands when he feels like you are not paying him enough attention than he likes - he would say ‘I deserve more attention than this’.
Now when it comes to anime, Gojo will compare himself to all of the characters when it comes to fighting scenes.
Like “I can beat him”  or “She will lose to me instantly” - okay Gojo, we get it, you are the strongest sorcerer in all of Japan...shut up.
He is also the type to pause in the middle of the episode to kiss you because you are too concentrated on the episode and he wants one - he will compare his relationship with you to the anime couple by saying you are the better couple.
There will be times where he finds anime memes and will send them to you from time to time because he thinks they are funny to add to replicate his reaction.
Overall, Gojo just loves annoying you about your addiction to anime and manga since it just adds to the list of things he can make fun of you for when in reality he is also somewhat invested since he loves to comment during your episode from time to time.
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Sukuna is the type to be so confused about why you love anime and manga, you should love him and him only…..selfish boy.
So when you are reading a manga book, he will stand in front of you with an annoyed look on his face because you should be paying attention to him and him only.
He is more confused about the number of manga books you have because he wonders how much money do you even have to maintain this obsession of yours.
He wouldn’t read with you, but there are times when he would hold you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder to peer at what you are looking at.
If it’s a fight scene, he will comment on how much stronger he is and how he would beat them up in an instant.
If it’s a romantic scene, he will tease you by biting your neck before telling you that you both do more stuff than what the couple are doing right now.
Now when it comes to anime, Sukuna wouldn’t stop with the whole “I am the stronger one” comment as he would say that in every fight scene that you watch with him.
To be completely honest with you, I don’t think you are able to finish even one episode with him because he will distract you with every opportunity he gets.
Anime and chill…
However, if you are able to finish one episode with him by your side (I’m impressed with that...like wow) he will just be silent since I don’t think he had actually paid attention at all and just fell asleep during the middle of it.
Overall, Sukuna doesn’t take the time to understand or know why you love anime and manga, he is the type to let you do what you want to do with the case that you give him the attention he believes he deserves.
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© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost
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joansiefics · 3 years
Text
CRASH, BOOM, BAM!!
MOSTLY BUCKY BARNES X READER
SUMMARY: You and your parents got in a car accident, while on your way to a holiday resort. You had several injuries, but your parents weren't so lucky. Luckily Tony, Natasha and Bucky saw the accident happen and helped you.
WARNING: Death (of family members), Car Accident, Blood, Injuries (cuts, concussion...), Crying over death, Held back against will (actually helps the reader), Nightmares, Blaming self.
REQUESTS are OPEN
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You let out a satisfied sigh as you snuggle deeper into your makeshift car bed. The air in the car was stilled and you focused on the acceleration of the car as your dad made a turn onto the quiet highway, the broadcaster keeping himself awake with his own silly jokes and the light stertor breathing of your mother sleeping in the pushed back passenger seat, all cozy and cuddled up in her heated blanket. You squinted your eyes open as the winter sun was shining morning rays through snow clouded skies onto your face and you welcomed the slightly warmer feeling on your skin.
You let out a groan as you reposition yourself to let your numb side sensitize. "How'd you sleep?" you hear your dad's gruff, hoarse voice move through the stilled air.
"It was good, but my left side is entirely numb" you answer with a chuckle.
You mother utters a few tired and dreamful mumbles as the tyres slide on the road soothing her back into a light slumber. "I was thinking we could stop at a chick-fil-a for some breakfast before we drive the last few hours, what do you say?" your face lit up at his suggestion
"That sounds amazing, I could do with some food" your stomach growls in agreement with your statement.
It didn't take long before you saw a part of the red logo in contrast against the white, sheet of clouds, excitement bubbling in the pit of your empty, growling stomach. A few more miles covered and your dad was pulling into the drive -thru. The lady at the last window stretched her arm out, handing your dad the paper bag filled with deliciousness. The heavenly smell of waffle fries, chicken nuggets and sandwiches reaching your nostrils and making your mouth water. The smell made your mother stir, before she tiredly opened her eyes, searching for the source of the appetizing smell. Your dad handed the paper bag over to you, for you to pick out your food and you gave the paper bag to your mother, after taking your chicken nuggets, waffle fries and bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.
Your dad ate his food while keeping his tired eyes trained on the road as he drove. Your mother sat up and nibbled on some of her waffle fries, while you quickly devoured your portions of food, but still savoring every taste on your taste buds. You finished the last bite of your sandwich, wiped your hands and corners of your mouth with a napkin and put the rubbish in the now foodless, full of trash, paper bag.
"Thank you dad" you thank before plopping back down on your back.
"You're welcome".
The car became silent once more and your eyelids grew heavier, the exhaustion of a term's hard work and determination finally taking over. You can hear the whispers of your parents trying to have a conversation without disturbing you, the sleet pattering on the window, the soft tunes form the radio and the gusts of wind as other cars dangerously speed past yours, lulling you to sleep. You could vaguely here the conversation between your parents.
"Do -- want me -- take over ---- bit, honey?" some of your mother's caring words reached your ears as she asked your father.
"No, -- fine"
"Honey, -- been driving -- eight hours and ---- awake even longer ----, maybe -- should let me take -- wheel ---- bit, while you ---- rest?" your mother's voice was filled with concern.
"I'll stop at -- next gas station, -- we -- switch, okay?" your dad gave into the offer, the thought of sleep to good to turn down.
"I love you guys" you mutter from the backseat, a smile tugging at your lips, satisfied with the perfect life and loving and caring parents.
"Love you too" your parents said in unison, enlisting a small giggle to tumble over your lips - maybe a giggle of happiness, maybe a giggle of satisfaction, or maybe a last giggle before a storm, before a teared world, before the ruining of a perfect life.
The next line of events was all a big blur to you. You remember you were happy, smiling and giggling before you fell asleep, but you woke up with your head spinning 'It feels more like my whole body is spinning' and sharp pains running through your legs 'Did I sleep my legs into feeling numb again?' and then came the realization - you were thrown from one side of the car to another and crashed through the window as the car tumbled down a hill. You were scared, confused and anguished. But then it hit you...your parents - where are they? are they okay?
"Mom?! Dad?!" you called, your voice faltering, shaking and small.
You tried again "Mom!! Dad!!" - nothing.
By now the adrenaline was surging and pumping through your blood, filling your veins, the pain slightly dissipating as the only thought was your parents. As you took in your surroundings you noticed the thick, cold snow you were laying in with your left cheek sunken deeply into it, the snowflakes falling on you and the location of the car crash, which was at the bottom of a steep hill, a few meters away from you.
With every last bit of energy you push yourself onto your feet and trudge towards the wreck, trying to lift your feet as high as possible to escape the deep snow. You want to run to see if your parents are okay, but even though the adrenaline is anaesthetizing any feeling of discomfort or pain, you feel out of control of your own body. 'I'm useless, my parents might need my help and here I am, taking my sweet time getting to them.'  
Arriving at the wreck, you fall to your knees, next to the crumbled car. The stinging of the wet and cold, icy snow going unnoticed as you try to spot your parents in the battered car. "Mom!!!!" You call out with a tremble in your voice and a lump forming in your throat. "Dad!!!!!" The stinging tears in the back of your eyes escaping a bit through your lacrimal duct, almost freezing to your numb, rosy cheeks.
Through your blurry vision you can make out your mother's figure hurled against the dashboard. The mere thought of your mother being injured, pumps regenerated adrenaline through your tired body and out of utter impulsiveness you push half of your body through the hole where a window used to be. The few remaining shards of glass stuck to the side, slices the material of your shirt. "Mom!!! You gotta wake up...please!!!" You try grasping her shoulders with your numbed hands, shaking her vividly.
The overcharge of blood rushing to your possibly concussed head and overflow adrenaline causes a buzzing in your ears, blocking out the slushing of the oncoming car's tyres in the snow. "Mom, please... open y-your eyes" You beg with quivers. The panic only seeps deeper into your already thumping heart when you don't feel a pulse on your mother's wrist. "No, no, no, no, this can't be happening" You mutter to yourself, moving your tremulous hand to the main artery in her neck, desperately searching for even the slightest pulse.
Temporarily giving up on your mother, you try wiggling yourself further through the hole to your father, but with no use when a strong pair of arms snake around your waist, pulling you out of the car. "No!!! I have to get to him!!! Please!!!" You cry out to the stranger, but you only get pulled further from your parents with you struggling against the stranger's grip. You kick and twist trying to free yourself while the sobs break through your chest. The adrenaline is now ineffective, making you feel exhausted - drained - and the pain stimulus finally reaches your brain, making you whimper a bit.
Over your heaving and the still, slight, present buzzing in your ears you can hear sirens nearing your location. You are now almost fully depending on the stranger to hold you on your shaking, glass shard invested, legs. You can hear someone talking to the stranger holding you "I ask-- Jarvis -- scan their vital- ---- --- dead." You try to piece the snippets of vaguely heard conversation together, which makes bile rise to your throat and you concentrate hard to swallow it back down. 'I could be wrong, I mean I only heard some of the conversation...yep, I'm DEFINITELY wrong' you try to convince yourself.
The tightening of the arms around your waist pull you out of your internal reassurance. All senses heightened you perceive the snow, in which your knees somehow came to sink in, feeling like a fire blistering any skin it comes in contact with, the talking of the few men, clad in blue uniforms, deafening you, as the wheels of the gurney whooshes through the snow as they take your parents to the ambulance - "my parents" - you say hushed, more to yourself than anyone else. The pair of sturdy arms turn you around and one hand comes up to the back of your head, gently nudging it forward into the stranger's chest, blocking all the view from your parents' figures covered by white sheets.
The steady heart beat, of the stranger, eliminates the chaos around you and in that moment it's just you and the kind stranger, in whose arms you feel safe. The calmness settles in you - the silence before the storm - the calmness before the reality. A few more minutes pass with the stranger holding you in their arms stroking your tangled, snowflake invaded hair when the shock enters, destroying all calmness. If you were standing your knees would have buckled, but you were already sitting with your knees in the snow leaning back on your ankles.
The sadness is to overwhelming, holding back all the tears and only making dry sobs leave your body. "They are gone" You say disbelievingly, shaking your head in slow horizontal directions. "I'm really sorry for your loss" this is the first time you hear the stranger's voice, but you like it - it produces a certain serenity, perfect for the situation. You pull away from the stranger and he removes his arms from your waist, and you almost instantly miss the feeling of comfort. "Thank you for uhhh..." you pause a bit, trying to collect yourself "thanks" you get the only word out that you can think of suitable, while pushing yourself to your feet. The man also pushes himself to his feet, brushing of the snow from his pants.
"Bucky" he introduces himself, sticking his hand out for you to shake. There is a small silence before you reach out, shaking his hand "Y/N" "We should probably get your wounds checked out, it looks kinda bad" Bucky says sincerely. You haven't even given thought to your injuries, you were solemnly focused on your parents - 'they're REALLY gone' - your mind begins spiraling again. Bucky rests his flesh hand on your shoulder, preventing you to give into your spiraling thoughts, and usher you towards a car. "My friends and I are going to take you to our infirmary where we live. You'll get better treatment there." Bucky keeps talking to you, trying to keep you from dazing.
In any other situation you would have had questions: 'where do you live? how can I trust you? who are your friends?'  But in this case it's different: I just lost my parents and nothing can be worse than that, what do I have to live for now?' The opening of a car door, breaks through your thoughts and you hesitate a moment before you silently climb into the backseat, Bucky following right behind you. The contrast of the freezing weather outside and the heated air in the car, sends a shiver of pleasure through your spine. "These are my friends, Natasha and Tony" Bucky introduces the two people sat in the front of the car, pointing to each of them when saying their names "this is Y/N" he tells them, pointing to you. You didn't even notice there were people in the car, until Bucky introduced you to each other.
'Say something' you mentally scold yourself for your awkwardness "hey, nice to meet you...thanks for, uhh, you know what" you say. "No problem sweetie, anytime" Natasha says with a soft smile, before turning around and focusing in front of her. The shock, adrenaline rush and fuzzy brain definitely took a toll on you causing your eyelids to feel heavy, fluttering closed, before you force them open again "Get some sleep doll" Bucky says, hugging you closer to his warm body. Without having to tell you twice, you let your eyelids close, only this time you keep them closed.
After a long drive, of which you have no recollection, the car pulls up to the tower. Bucky picks you up in his arms, careful not to push any glass shards deeper than they already are, and carries you to the infirmary, swiftly but steady. The entire time that the doctors treat your wounds, Bucky stays by your side and after an hour the doctors and nurses leave the room, satisfied with their work.
The annoying beeping of a heart monitor, the bright fluorescent light hurting your eyes even through closed eyelids, the tight skin around the penetrating IV and the bandages almost, not quite, but almost stopping all blood flow through your veins, wake you up from your sleep. The light hurts your eyes but you force them to stay open and scan your surroundings. "B-Bucky" you ask unsure with a hoarse throat "Your awake" he says cheerfully, grabbing a drink of water. He gently puts one hand at the back of your head, slowly pushing it up and putting the brim of the glass to your lips. You take a few small sips, letting it soothe your dry throat before you thank him for the water.
Bucky rests your head onto the pillows again and makes his way back to the chair he's been sitting on for about an hour. After a long silence in the room, but constant debating with yourself, in your head, you ask the question that has been floating in your mind. "What's going to happen now? I mean like...with me? Where do I go?" you rush through your questions almost forgetting to fill your lungs with oxygen. The heart monitor beeping rapidly and the lines spiking as your heart's rhythm increases "Hey, hey, hey, calm down...okay? Just breathe for me." Bucky waits for you to calm your breathing before he continues "For now, you're just going to heal. Once you're all healed, we can contact some of your relatives, maybe you can stay with them" Just the mentioning of staying with one of your immoral relatives cause goosebumps to form on your skin. "Our umm...my relatives? they don't really like us...me, they don't really like me" you say, confusion clear on your face as you try to correct your sentence. "Well then, you can stay here at the tower, with me..." Bucky suggests, quickly adding "that's only if you want to" not wanting to push you into anything. "Yeah, I...I'd like that" you say with a smile tugging at your lips.
"Why don't you get some more rest and we can talk again in the morning, finalize all the plans and so forth?" Bucky says when he sees your eyes drooping and your best efforts to hide your yawns. "Okay, thank you again Bucky, it really means a lot to me" You say already closing your eyes "Goodnight doll" He leans forward pressing a kiss to your forehead "Goodnight Bucky" He walks back to his seat and plops himself down, getting comfy for the night.
' "I love you guys" "We love you too, Y/N" and then *CRASH*...glass shatters everywhere, penetrating any flesh in its way. I feel the tingling as the blood drips from the lacerations on my arms and legs. But then I remember, my parents, "Mom, Dad!!!!" I see their lifeless, covered in blood, bodies against the dashboard. Then I hear my mother mumble the last few words, coughing on her own blood, spewing it onto her clothes "You... could have...saved us...Y/N" and then she exhales her last breath. '
You scream yourself awake and jolt up on the gurney. Sweat is dripping down the side of your forehead, your breathing is hitched and the heart monitor is screaming at you, trying to pull you back to reality. The last string of your daze snaps as a strong pair of arms wrap around you for the second time that day. "It was just a nightmare" Bucky cooes softly into your ear, swaying you back and forth on the gurney. "It wasn't just a nightmare, it was real" you pant, the words of your imagination mother replaying in your head 'You could have saved us Y/N'
"I could have saved them Bucky" you whisper into his chest "You couldn't do anything Y/N" "I could have..." you pause trying to think what you could have done. You know it's your mind playing tricks on you, you know your mother would never say such a thing, but you still can't ignore it. "You could have what?" Bucky asks, trying to lure you into accepting that you couldn't do anything. "I could have...I don't know" you sigh giving in with no answers "You couldn't do anything, okay?" Bucky waits for you to voice your acceptance "O-okay" you answer. "Just try and sleep some more, I'll be right here when you wake up doll" Bucky settles in next to you on the narrow gurney hugging you tighter to his chest, breathing exaggerated breaths for you to follow.
Falling asleep again you didn't have any nightmares - maybe the last time that you wouldn't get nightmares, well at least for now. But Bucky would always be there, by your side, swaying you to calmness and holding you to his chest - the chest of the once stranger that held you tight on the day of THE awful incident.
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nyxerebus · 3 years
Text
Unlikely Companions (Daryl Dixon x Female reader/ PLATONIC! Carl x Reader)
Summary: Carl was running for his life, being chased by walkers after he went on his own looking for Sophia. When he is corned by the walker a stranger woman saves him. She is looking for her Fiancee for the old world, but offers her help returning him to the farm. They bond over the days in the woods and she learns she might have another reason to find the farm.
Words: 3.1 k
“Carl?” Lori shouted across the farm. She hadn’t seen the boy all day and was starting to get nervous. ��Have you seen Carl?” Maggie shook her head. “Not since breakfast” She answered in her southern accent. “Maybe he is with Rick? Or Shane?” Lori just nodded, but didn’t feel any safer. Where was her son?
Carl was running for his life. The two walkers were closing inn. He knew better than to shout and call for help, knowing it would probably attract even more walkers, but right now he didn’t care. “MOM!” He quickened his pace. “DAD!” Two walkers turned into four as two more appeared at his side. Tears was now streaming down his face as he was sure he was going to die here. He looked back again, ready to face death. But the walkers didn’t close inn on him. Instead arrow after arrow filled the air and all the walkers dropped. When Carl turned back around, fully expecting to see Daryl standing there, was surprised to see a stranger. “Are you okay?” The stranger asked him. Carl looked up at the woman. He was inn shock and didn’t know what to say. “You got a group? A family” She continued to ask him. When she tried to approach him, he backed up. “Hey, you don’t need to worry, I won’t do you any harm. Look” She dropped her cross bow and unleased her knife from her holster. When both fell to the ground, she could see him relaxing more. “Can I ask your name?”
“Carl, Carl Grimes”
“Well, Carl Grimes. I’m (Y/N) (L/N). I’m looking for my fiancée. But I can help you return back to you family. Someone as young as you shouldn’t be out here alone”.
Carl was still unsure about her. Remembering her mother’s speech about stranger danger. But those were the rules of the old world. Here in the new world they should accept help form anyone who invites it, right? After thinking it through, he nodded. “Okay, okay. This is a good start. How far away is your camp?” Carl looked down, a bit embarrassed. “I don’t know”
“Do you know the directions?” He shook his head. “Well shit, looks like were in quiet a pickle huh?” She smiled at him, trying to ease him. “I don’t know this area, never been here before. So, I say we head in one direction and hope for the best. What do you think?” He nodded. “Great! Lets go then!”
And so they started to wander. (Y/N) in front, with Carl a meter behind. “Sooo, do you have a favourite movie or something?” He just stared at her. “What! Come on, were going to be stuck with each other for a while, might as well get to know each other”. After a minute of silence, he spoke. “Iron Man”
“That’s a good movie! Mine is probably that or Pride and Prejudice”. Carl scrunched up his nose almost in disgust. “But that’s so girly! All they do is talk about their feelings and kiss!” She looked back at him, offended by his remarks. “And!? It’s a great love story that is still relevant to this day” She played up her offence more hoping it would make him laugh. It did. “Its still so girly” He said between giggles. “Never mind, were is the nearest walker. I’m feeding you to it” (Y/N)’s giggling was now a full on laughter. “Nooo!” Carl was laughing too. (Y/N) was relieved he was laughing, afraid the incident had traumatized him badly.
Back at the farm, panic was settling inn as no one knew were Carl was. “Who was the last to see him?” Rick asked the group. “I saw him after breakfast” Andrea spoke up, she and Carol was comforting Lori, who was having a full blown break down. “He probably went out looking for Sophia alone” All looked to Shane. “I’m mean why else would he suddenly leave”.
“I think your right, but he is still healing from the gun wound, he wouldn’t get far. And if a walker got him, he wouldn’t have much fight in him”.
“My baby!” Lori cried out in agony. “We need to send out search groups, he couldn’t have gone far”. Everyone agreed with Rick. “And with some luck we might find Sophia as well” Daryl nodded at Carol. She smiled back.
The sun had set and the night was creeping closer. (Y/N) had set up an alert system around the small camp they built for the night. Barb wire around them with empty cans tied up. They would rattle if a walker came close and waking them up. It was how (Y/N) had been sleeping every night.
“Go to sleep, I’ll look out for walkers” (Y/N) said leaned back against a tree. She had laid down her sleeping bag that he could use. “I wont fall asleep” Carl complained. “Try”.
“Can you tell me a story” She looked at him weird. “Aren’t you a bit old for fairy tales?”
“Not fairy tales, stories about your life, from before this?” She still looked at him weirdly. “My mom used to tell me stories from her collage days so I could fall asleep when I was younger. Can you please?” When he looked at her with those poppy eyes, (even though it was hard to see with only their small campfire as a light source), who could say no?
“Okay kid, one story than you go to sleep. Deal?” He nodded “What do you want to know?”
“You are engaged right, how was the proposal?” She giggled at the memory but started to tell about the best day of her life:
“Daryl! What are we doing here?” She was a bit frustrated as the redneck pulled her along the streets. It was midday and pretty damn hot. She pulled down her dress skirt as the wind picked up. “Have some patience’ damn woman” She giggled at his bruteness. One of the things she loved about the man, one of many. When they stopped in front of a new bookshop, he could see the hearts in her eyes. “I dint know they opened a new bookshop here!” She exclaimed. “Saw it last night and thought you might like it” Lies. He had known they were opening here for the past month, doing everything in his power to make sure you dint know. They actually had opening night a week ago.
Now it was her turn to drag him along. It surprised her to see the shop empty, seeing as the streets were pretty full. But she didn’t think much of it. Running between shelves after shelves, the one book in hand turning into two, than four and now finally six books. But when she turned around, all the books fell too the floor. Because there before her was her lovely boyfriend, down on one knee with a ring between his fingers. “Oh my god” She whispered into the silent shop. As if on cue, the speakers played her favourite song.
“(Y/N) (L/N), you are the love of my life. And I just want to be your man’ for the rest of your life. And, shit you know I aint’ good with my emotions, but when I’m with ya’ it seems so easy. Shit, I’m messing it all up” He was stumbling over his own words, clearly forgetting a pre-rehearsed speech. “no, please continue” tears were forming in her eyes. “I love ya’ (Y/N), my Sunshine. You book crazy mad woman. I love everything about ya’. So, will ya’ marry me?” He was ready for a rejection, ready to see her walk out of his life forever. But she didn’t.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, a million times yes” Tears were streaming down her face. He stood up and kissed her. His arm wrapping around her waist, bending her down a bit so he could kiss her more passionately. Like in the movies. They only broke off so he could slip the ring on her finger, it fit her perfectly.
“Did he rent out the bookshop?” Carl asked, clearly very invested. “Yeah, cost him way too much, but he didn’t care. That idiot was never good with money” She giggled at the memories. “What about after, what did you guys do?”
“Nah nah nah, the deal was one story than you go to sleep. I can tell you more tomorrow”. Carl huffed in annoyance but turned around in the sleeping bag. “Good night”
“Good night Carl”.
“Rick, it’s been a whole night! Where is he?” Lori was completely lost; she hadn’t slept all night. To worried about where her son was. “What if his trapped, oh god! What if those walkers got him?”
“We can’t think like that! He is fine. He has to be” Rick did everything he could to try and look confident and comfort his wife, but the worry was eating him up as well. The same thoughts were running through his head as well. Those terrible images of his baby boy being ripped apart by the walkers.
“Okay, open your mouth” Carl did as instruct and tried to catch the berry she threw into his mouth. She missed, but only with an inch! “You suck!” Carl teased her. “Hey! I’m not the one with a tiny mouth!” She teased back. “Alright, lets start walking big man”. He nodded and helped her clean up the camp. “Can I ask a question?” The boy asked as they continued to walk. “Sure”
“What happened between you and your fiancée? Why aren’t you together now?”
She took a deep breath. “When the outbreak happened, we weren’t together. He was off god know where with his brother, probably bailing him out or something-” Carl looked at her questioning, “That’s another story. But yeah, we weren’t together. I was at campus and that turned into a mess, I lots a lot of friends there. Mass panic and everybody evacuated. I and a couple of other students bunkered up a dorm room. Living of the instant noodles and beer we found. That lasted maybe 4 days. So, we left and split off, I wanted to go into the woods, where he would be and the rest wanted to go to back to Atlanta. And since than I have been looking for him. Living in the woods like a mad man.” Tears started to form in her eyes when she relived the horrible times at the campus.
“Sorry I asked”. He looked down. “Its alright” She smiled at him. “What were you studying?”
“Heh, literature. Not much help in the apocalypse, I guess”.
“Than how did you learn to use the bow and hunt?”
“He taught me” She smiled at the memory, and thanked him desperately for teaching her:
“Why do I need to learn this? I live in the city, I will never hunt or live in the woods!” Daryl just scuffed at her and placed the bow he bought in her hands. He had brought her out to the woods after her classes to teach her hunting. “ya’ need to be able to fend for yourself and feed yourself” She just looked him with a raise brow, but eventually gave in. “Fine, fine. Teach me”. A smirk played out on his face, happy with his little victory. Truth be told, he needed to know that you could fend for yourself and be independent, in and out of the city. It eased him at night, in a weird way. “Why cant I learn the crossbow like you?”
“First bow, than crossbow. Alright Sunshine’”
Shoooo! The arrow flew through the air and hit the squirl in the head. “Score!” (Y/N) exclaimed. She fastened the squirrel two her belt, joining the five others she had shot. “We eating good tonight!” Carl looked at the squirrels with a lot of scepticisms. “What? Don’t tell me you’re a picky eater”
“No, it just looks so weird like that” They bickered back and front while they walked in the direction, they thought the farm was inn. They had changed their direction a couple of times, hoping to get closer and see sign of life.
They had spent the entire day walking, and as the night came closer they found a spot to camp up. Carl set up the wires while (Y/N) started a fire to cook the squirrels. While they ate, Carl told her about his family and the people they were in the camp with. “What the hell! You got shot?!”
“Yeah!” Carl had a proud grin on his face, finally having something that made him look cool. “Shit, man your tougher than me if you can bounce back like that”. He laughed and continued to brag about the experience. It was a nice conversation. He talked a bunch about his family, mostly about his dad. Clearly his hero. But than he mentioned a familiar name.
“Wait! Daryl? Daryl with a crossbow?” Carl just nodded. “Does he have a west with angel wings? Brother named Merle?” When Carl nodded again. Tears started to from in her eyes. She was going to be reunited with Daryl, her Daryl. He was alive. That night when Carl finally fell asleep, her mind wandered to all the amazing memories with the man.
It was cold in the room. The window was wide open and letting the moonshine lighting up the small bedroom. (Y/N) and Daryl was huddled together for warmth on the bed. It had been an long night. From a failed date after the place Daryl wanted to take her to was closed, she got catcalled which ended up with her having to drag Daryl of the stranger. And when they got home, he showed her his scars. She was the first romantic partner he had ever shown. The night ended with their naked, sweaty bodies pressed together, while both worked to please the other. It was their first night together, her first night with anyone. When they lied down together basking in the aftermath of their climax, it was one of the happiest times in her life. He wrapped his arms around her and puller her on top of him. Her head resting on his chest, with his arms wrapped around her, caressing her back with one hand, the other squeezing her thigh. “I love ya Sunshine”.
“(Y/N)!”
“(Y/N)! Wake up!” Carl shook her awake. “What’s happening” She immediately reached for her bow and charged it ahead of her, ready to attack any enemy that threatened them. “I can see the farm!” The night had made it harder to see a head of them, but now that the sun was lighting up the world, they could see the farm a head of them. (Y/N) realised her bow and the breath she was holding. They packed up the camp at record time, both wanting to reach the farm as quickly as possible. The walk over to the farm was quiet. When they reached the outcast of the woods, a voice stopped them from going any further.
“Well, well, well, look at that. Do you guys see this fine piece of ass” A man walked out from behind a tree with a gun raised at them both. Three other guys came out, all with their weapons raised. “Sure do boss. Haven’t seen a woman this fine in what feels like ages. I’m just aching to be inside of her”.
(Y/N) placed herself protectively in front of Carl. “What do you guys want? Our food, weapons? You can have that, just leave us alone” Her voice trembled a little afraid of what they will do to them. “Oh, we don’t need your left overs or those teeth pickers you call knifes, no baby. We want something different” He grabbed his crotch when he said the last part. “Carl, run”.
“What? I cant leave-” “Carl! Run!” One of the guys tackled her down. Holding her down on the ground. “Get the kid” The boss said to the guy closest to Carl. “RUN!” She shouted before her mouth was covered. Carl finally ran away, when the guy ordered to catch him started to run after him.
When he made it out of the forest and ran across the fields to the farm, he started to shout out for help. “MOM! DAD!”.
“Do you guys hear that?” Glenn asked the group as they sat around planning the move for the day. “That’s Carl” Lori ran towards the field and saw her son running across it being chased by a stranger.
“Carl!” All the guys saw it too and started to run to Carl. The guy chasing him, saw the men running towards him and turned around to warn the others. “Carl!” Rick finally got to hug his son after being missing for 3 days. But the hug was cut short when Carl pushed free. “We need to head back, (Y/N), the girl that helped me is back there and the guys are attacking her!” He pulled his fathers hand and started to move back to the woods, but Daryl stopped him.
“(Y/N), as in (Y/N) (L/N)?” When Carl nodded Daryl took off and ran towards the forest. The others followed, but this time Carl was pushed back behind them. When they got closer they could hear her voice yelling for them to get off. They reached the area Daryl did not hesitate to shoot the guys around her, holding her down while the main guy was cutting up her clothes. When she got her hands free, she leaped on the last guy and grabbed her knife they had forgotten to remove from her belt. When he was pushed to the ground she didn’t hesitate to stab him in the chest. She didn’t stop after one, two three or four. Blood splashed on her face and torned shirt. Her hands were covered in blood.
Rick took a step forward, but stepped on a twig that snaped in two. She leaped up and raised the knife up, ready to protect herself against another attacker. But when she saw Daryl standing there, she dropped the knife. Sobs wracked through her body and she took a stumbling step forward. Daryl closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her waist. He didn’t care that she was covered in blood, just happy that she was safe. She was alive.
Her knees buckled and she fell down, taking him with her. They were both on their knees holding each other and crying into each other’s necks. Right now, nobody else mattered. Not Rick, Glenn or Shane who was staring at the scene in front of them. Not the bodies of her attackers lying around them. No one. Only them as they held each other for the first time. It seemed as Carl had led her back to her family just as much as she had helped him back to his.
A/N: Part 2 is out! You can read it here : Part 2
Please ignore any spelling mistakes as English is not my first language :) 
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itzyourgirlnat · 3 years
Text
Not a science fan
It’s a monday evening, you and Kara are eating peacefully.
‘So, your school called me this morning’ she said while eating.
You immediately stopped eating and raised your head to look at her.
‘whatever they said I did it wasn’t me’
‘What? Kid, no! You didn't do anything wrong’ she stopped for a second ‘Did you?’
‘No! of course not’ you said while choking a bit.
‘Anyways, they called me to know if you were attending “the ceremony” this Saturday. It seems that you didn't confirm your attendance?’
‘oh, OOH’ Of course, the ceremony, you completely forgot about it.
The thing is that when this school year began, you were supposed to take physics. However, you hated it. Ok, you didn't hate it, but you definitely weren’t a fan (which is hilarious since your mom is literally one of the best scientists on the planet). But the funniest part was that even your teacher knew, actually it was him who recommended you to quit his class. At first you were shocked because science is something you’ve always done, what could you do instead of that? That’s when he suggested the newspaper along with a class specialised on writing. It is true that you’ve always been good at writing stories, but you never considered taking it seriously.
Anyways, literally the next day instead of learning about physics you’re learning the basic elements of a storyline. The surprising part was that after that class, you completely fell in love with it and, since then, you started working on a simple storyline that ended up being much more complex and longer than you expected. You wanted to talk to your moms about it, but when all happened you weren’t seeing them that much, and once you were, you just didn't have the courage to do it. A thing that stopped you was that both Kara and Lena were geniuses when it comes to science. But the main problem was with Lena, you’ve spent so much time with her in her lab in L-Corp, and even if you didn't enjoy it as much as her, every time you spent with her there was such a bonding experience that you couldnt tell the truth. So you just avoid the topic, even if you knew that one day they would find out.
Going back to the ceremony, that story you first started writing ended up becoming a book. A novel that you had to present in order to pass the class. What you weren’t aware of at the time was that the best ones would compete in a contest that involved schools from all National city. And, last week, you were given the news that your story was one of the finalists.
While you were scolding yourself mentally for not declining the invitation Kara had put all the food away and was now cleaning.
‘What’s that ceremony?’ she questioned while turning around to look at you
‘It’s nothing’
‘Y/N’
You sighed
‘I wasn’t planning on going anyways’
She did the famous crickle and that’s when Lena entered the kitchen
‘Hi loves’ she kissed Kara and then kissed you cheek.
‘What are you two talking about?’
‘Your daughter was invited to a ceremony’
‘Really? what is it about?’ she questioned
‘It's nothing, just an award ceremony’ you got up and started walking towards your room.
‘Wait, so you are nominated for something?’
‘It seems like it’ you sighed ‘but it's nothing and I wasn't planning on going’
`Why?’ Kara asked
‘What for? I’m not gonna win and I don't really care if I do’ you walked towards the door
‘Well I do,’ Lena said. ‘Can we go?’
‘The principal told me that we could’ Kara said
‘Guys it's really not necessary’
‘Of course it is!’ Kara said
‘Wait, is it that science competition?’ Lena asked
Oh no
‘Emm no’
‘Then what is it?’
They both looked at you. You took a deep breath
‘Its, its justforasillybookIwroteforaclass’ you said as fast as you could
‘Wait wait , wait, what?’ Lena said
‘Did you say you wrote a book?’ Kara said walking towards you
‘Umm yeah’
‘Why didn’t you tell us?!’
‘When did you say the ceremony was?’ Lena asked
‘Saturday. Y/N why didn’t you say anything?’
You were about to answer when Alex called her sister. Soon enough she had to leave for a Supergirl emergency. Thank Rao
‘We’ll talk about this later’ she said before leaving
You were already going to you room when Lena called you to sit with her
‘So, Y/N, for what class did you have to write the book for?’ she said, raising her brow. Oh no, she knows, she totally knows
‘Please don't get mad’ you said
‘Why would I?’
‘Ok, so, its for a writing class that I’m taking’
‘Really?’
You nodded
‘Why would that make me mad?’
‘Because I’m taking it instead of physics. Sorry I didn’t tell you, I swear I’ll join physics again if you want me too’ You looked away from her expecting an angry response. Surprisingly, she grabbed your hand and squished it gently
‘Y/N, I know’
‘What?’
‘Did you really think you could just change your classes without me finding out?’
‘Yes?’
She chuckled
‘Of course not. in fact your physics teacher told me about the newspaper and the writing class before telling you’
‘So, YOU’VE KNOWN ALL THIS TIME?’
She was now laughing hard, but she soon hugged you. After some minutes she let go of you and placed a lock of you hair behind you ear
‘and you’re not mad?’
‘No! I mean, it did hurt that you didn’t tell us but, it's your life and if you prefer to attend that class I support your decision’
‘I’m sorry. I just didn’t wanna make you feel disappointed and-’
‘What? Honey, you know you could never disappoint me’
‘I know, it's just that science in general is something that you really enjoy and that I’m supposed to be good at. But it also made us spend a lot of time together at L-Corp. And, I love spending time with you, I guess I didn't want that to end’
‘Oh Y/N. Look, just because I enjoy science doesn't mean you have to like it too. Besides, spending time together doesn’t have to involve science. When I take you to L-Corp it's nothing more than an excuse to spend time with you. But we could do other things, all I care about is spending time with you’
It was now your turn to hug her.
You cuddled for a while and when you were about to fall asleep in her arms she asked ‘Why didn’t you tell mom? I mean writing is kind of her thing’
‘I was planning on doing so, but I’m not very good at it, and I wanted to improve before I show her’
‘What did we tell you about being perfect Y/N?’
‘I know, but ieu is a Pulitzer winner. I doubt I’ll ever be at her level but I wanted it to be at least presentable before showing it to her. I want her to be proud’
She caressed your cheek
‘She’ll always be proud of you. Well except if you murder someone or do something very terrible like that’
You laughed at her comment
‘But I’m sure she’s dying to read it’
‘Thanks mom’
She kissed your forehead and at that moment through the window Kara entered
‘Hi guys’
‘Hi’ you both said turning your heads to look at her
You looked at Lena, who somehow guessed what you were thinking (like always) and nodded
‘I wanna show you something’ you said to Kara before sprinting towards your room. Before anyone could say anything you were already back with a your book in your hands
‘Here’ you said giving it to Kara ‘The binding is pretty simple but the full final story is in there’
She was looking at the novel in her hands
‘You wrote this?’ her eyes were starting to water
‘Yeah. Please have mercy while reading it, its not -’
‘It's perfect’ she then hugged you harder than she had done in a long time 'I'm sure it is'
‘Does this mean you’ll go to the award ceremony?’ Lena ask
‘I mean I have nothing better to do this Saturday’
That same night Kara started reading your book. It was actually 3 am when you woke up to go to the bathroom when you saw a light coming from their bedroom. You walked towards the light and saw Kara still reading your book out loud with Lena on her lap listening. They were so invested in the story that they didn’t even notice you. You decided to give them some privacy and went back to your room.
The next day you were so nervous, you knew that they had been reading your book but were too scared to ask for their opinion. Luckily between school and practice you didn't have time to think much about it. After a long day you finally got home and as soon as you entered the door both of your moms ran to you.
‘Y/N! when Rory is at the cave under the fire palace and gives Camila the silver stone and tells her that is her turn to take care of it, does it mean he has accepted that he won’t see her again?’ Kara asked very seriously
But before you could answer her question Lena asks ‘But if that is true why does he continue to deny the fact that he won’t be able to see her again during the next four chapters?’
You chuckled ‘Wait you’ve already read it all?’
‘Yeah and we have questions so please tell us’ Kara asked
You spent around an hour answering all their questions about your book. This made you incredibly happy since they were both so into it
‘You’re gonna write a sequel right?’
‘I wasn’t planning on doing so’
‘WHAT?!
‘But Y/N it's not only an incredible story but the way you portray society and all the critiques you make are perfectly made. I mean this is more than a fantasy story’ Kara exclaimed and at that moment you couldn’t hold it anymore and started crying. She panicked and hugged you immediately
‘Did I say something wrong?’ she asked very worried
‘Do you really like it that much?’ you asked
‘Of course I do! Not only because you wrote it but because it is really good’
‘Then I’ll have to write another one’
‘Please do’ Lena said ‘And no pressures but don't take long because I need to know if Rowan survives’
You all laughed
‘I knew you'd like him’
It was three days later, Saturday evening, you were all getting ready to go to the award ceremony. A week ago you didn’t care about this event, but now, after your moms read your work, you were really nervous. You walked to the kitchen with the outfit you had chosen earlier (a dress or a suit,... something elegant of your choice).
‘Wow, you look great’ Lena said
‘Like mother like daughter I guess’
She winked at you. Soon enough you were all in the car and suddenly you were already sat in the auditory surrounded by other nominees and even a couple press members.
‘Nervous?’ Kara asked who was on your right
‘Kind of’
‘Don’t be’ Lena who was on your left held your hand
A few categories were announced and yours was the next
‘Hey, whatever happens we’re very proud of you’ Kara said
The following things happened very quickly. Suddenly your name was called and you were walking towards the stage after Lena literally crushed you with a hug. And five seconds later you were with the second prize in your hands. Once many pictures were taken you were walking down towards your moms when a man in what looked like a very expensive suit approached you
‘Congratulations’ he said
‘Thank you’
‘I’m Anthony Lee’
‘Ar-are you serious? you’re the owner of one of the most important publishing houses of the city’
He chuckled
‘I see you know who I am’
You were about to reply when you heard Kara calling you.
‘I don’t want to take much of your time, just wanted to ask you to continue writing, you’ve clearly inherited your mothers ability with words’
You blushed
‘Well thank you’
He gave you a card with a phone number and an email
‘Please, if write something else send it to this email and one day we may work together’
With that he kindly said goodbye and left. You then walked towards your moms and Kara immediately hugged you.
‘Y/N you did it! I’m so proud of you!’
‘Congratulations darling’ Lena said squeezing your arms
‘Thank you guys’
‘Who was that man that approached you?’ Kara said
‘That was Anthony Lee’ you said
‘No way!’ Kara replied
‘Emm a bit of context please?’ Lena said
‘He’s the owner of one of the biggest publishing houses of the city!’ Kara said almost jumping
‘He told me to send some of my future work so that one day we can work together’ you said blushing once more
‘Are you serious?!’ Lena said
You nodded. Immediately they both hugged you and somehow Alex was soon hugging you and then Kelly (it turns out your moms couldn’t hold it and told almost everyone about the ceremony). You then went to a restaurant to celebrate and had an amazing time with everyone.
Once in your car on your way home you said ‘Hey guys?’
‘Yes baby?’
‘Thanks for making me go, it was really fun’
‘Well, we didn't do you much. You were the one who won’ Lena said
‘I got second place’
‘Same thing to me’ she replied to which you all laughed.
It had really been a very unexpected week.
************************************************************************
Hi !! Just wanted to let you all know that you can send me request anytime and that the ones that I already have received will be done as soon as possible :)
(thanks for all the support btw I really appreciate it)
253 notes · View notes
waynewifey · 3 years
Text
Fading away. —
Pairing: Jason Grace x Roman!DaughterofPluto!Reader
Sumary: after moths of over working, a colapse makes you get into a coma and reflect on your feelings.
Warnings: coma, angst, Pluto as a caring dad, fluff at the end.
Words: +-3k.
A/N: This is my first Percy Jackson Franchise fanfiction, so take it easy on me. This is also my biggest and favourite one. I hope you like this! My requests are always open.
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(Y/N) (L/N) had a good reason to hate Jason Grace. How could she not? Jason was so annoying, self centred, selfish, stubborn and worse of all? He dated Piper McLean. Piper was great, (Y/N) knew that and they seemed happy together. But, still, he chose Piper, not (Y/N), his girlfriend back at Camp Jupiter, who he totally forgot about. How come Percy remembered Annabeth but Jason wouldn't remember (Y/N)? And when he recovered his memory, he chose Piper. But she also loved him still, and seeing him hurt like a bullet going straight through her heart. She decided to spend a year at Half-Blood Camp to stay with her half-brother Nico Di Angelo when Gaea were defeated. She thought she could manage to see him almost every day, but she couldn't. So she started doing anything to get her mind occupied. Going on meaningless quests, travelling to New York randomly, volunteering for literally any service in the camp and barely sleeping — because sleeping meant dreams.
"It doesn't have to be like that, (Y/N)." Her brother gave her another shot of Nectar. The sunlight that entered Hades' cabin was leaving slowly as they talked, (Y/N) leaned on her bed watching her fingertips become solid again.
"I'll learn how to do it right and I promise I won't push myself too much, but I can't stop practicing." She avoided eye contact with Nico, feeling ashamed of herself. After all, she was supposed to be the one taking care of him, since she was older. She came back from a "quest" for her father, that was staying a weekend on the Underworld. She started using Shadow Travel to get there. The problem? She had no idea how hard it was, and she almost died every time. He sighted.
"I'm not talking about Shadow Travel. You should talk to Jason and sort this out. You're almost killing yourself everyday doing the craziest stuff just to keep your mind off him. He already broke up with Piper, what's stopping you now? I'm your brother and it pains me to see you suffering, I won't just sit and watch while you literally desapear." He got up and walked to the door. The (h/c) girl forced a smile so he believed she was fine. Nico left the cabin.
After hours reflecting and thinking, she heard the trumpets that announced the convocation to a game of Capture the Flag. Since she was feeling better, she changed her clothes and walked outside. The teams were: cabins 1, 4, 5, 9, 12, 14, 18, 21, 23, 27, 28, 29 vs. cabins 2, 6, 7, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 20, 24, 25, 26. They started the game. (Y/N) had to protect the boundary with a kid from Hipnos' cabin while a group attacked the opponent's flag and another protected their territory and their flag. Everything was going as planned, she hadn't seen anyone yet. Out of the sudden, she saw a blond guy running in their direction with a sword. Oh hell no, Jason Grace wouldn't attack her like that. But he did.
"What the hell?!" She screamed, reacting to the blade flying in her direction. Her teammate was asleep. She defended herself with her own sword and counterattacked. He invested against her leg, trying to make her fall. Her instincts took place, she jumped, attacked again and they started a meaningless battle. Jason looked the same as always. He was almost the same Jason that used to take her on cute dates in New Rome. But he fought like a greek. And that was when it hit her, he changed. The mixture of love and hate made her loose her senses for a bit, giving Jason the lead. He focused on her leg but hesitated to hit it, giving her time to get back on the fight. She knocked him to the floor, her foot on his chest and her blade on his neck, when she heard footsteps approaching quickly. Of course. It was a trap. She turned around and saw a son of Hebe holding her team's flag running, followed by two daughters of Hephaestus. She grabbed a knife from her belt and threw it to his leg, hitting exactly where she wanted. She then grabbed Jason's blade and Shadow Travelled. For a moment everything was fine, while she drowned into darkness, but then she couldn't get out. She saw her father's face mixed in the dark. He raised his hand and touched her face, than she was back at the forest. Realising not even a second had gone through, she attacked the — injured — boy and the two gigantic girls at the same time. She wasn't really expecting to defeat them, just trying to win some time so, hopefully, someone would come help her. The boy dropped the flag and got a small sword. The two girls had hammers... oh. The three of them attacked at the same time and she protected herself with Jason's sword, which flew away. She was out of hopes when a figure appeared beside her and started fighting them.
"What are you doing here?! You're not supposed to help me, we're enemies, remember?" She said, fighting Hebe's son.
"I guess you're welcome then." Jason replied smiling, fighting the hammers-girls. (Y/N) sighted in annoyance. Seconds later, her teammates came running from the enemies' territory with a flag and the three-people group surrendered. Everyone started screaming and celebrating. (Y/N)'s head hurt with the noise and she looked to her brother, feeling numb.
"Hey, can we talk?" Jason said, getting in front of her with a big smile. He was proud of himself for helping her? Of course he was. He was going to take all the credit for her team's win. The anger rose inside of her burning everything. She furrowed her eyebrows and with the last energy that remained in her body, she tried to Shadow Travel for the perhaps hundredth time that day.
She fell into the darkness while feeling her body desapear quickly. Her heart was very accelerated but then it stopped. She saw herself at the barks of Lete's river. I'm dead., she thought. The desperation started taking over. She remembered the face of all her friends. Her siblings, Hazel and Nico. Her mother. Her best friend Reyna. Camp Jupiter. New Rome. The Lar Vitellius. Lares? Lares! Maybe she could go back as a ghost! She would at least see her friends again.
"Didn't expect to see you this soon." A voice said with humor. She turned around, as always enlighten by her father's presence. But his face was sad. Not the everyday-sad-Pluto, but the my-daughter-just-died-sad-Pluto.
"Am I d-... dead?" The anxiety forbid her from crying in front of her father. The one she never knew and once she did, she didn't want to disappoint him.
"Yes and no. You see, my darling, there are things more powerful then death. Right now, your physical being is exhausted from travelling through darkness and light — which I told you not to, but we'll talk about this later, you have a decision to make. You're body is surrendering to Death out of hopelessness. But your soul, on the other hand, still fights for the heart beating in your chest. And your conscious, the controller of both body and soul, has to decide which one of them you'll support right now. As Lord of the Death that's all I can say to you. But as your father, I would like to say that we have a room for you in the castle, if you'd like that. And also, I feel obligated to show you what is happening on Earth." When he finished his words, an image formed in the air, sort of an Iris message, but no one saw them. (Y/N) saw herself laying on the grass, surrounded by some campers, Nico and Jason.
She was watching them from above. Jason put two fingers on her neck, trying to feel her pulse. She — the one in the Underworld — gasped as the blond boy whispered 'nothing'. She glanced at her father, who had a pained expression as he stared at Nico freaking out. Her brother had his hands on her chest and was murmuring something in greek. Then, he opened his eyes, filled with tears of desperation, and glanced at Jason, who didn't look any better. She wanted to scream and go back to up there, but her voice wouldn't come out of her throat.
"Half of her is already gone." Nico struggled to say. Everyone around gasped. "I can't Shadow Travel with her, it- it would k-kill the other half..."
"Let's take her to the Infirmary. Everything's gonna be fine. She'll be okay." Will Solace had appeared in the crowd and kneed down to take (Y/N) in the arms, being helped by the other two. As they walked, (Y/N) held herself in her arms, sobbing. She didn't want to die, not like that. The image faded away and Pluto hugged her. He never did that before. She left out all her emotions through the cry. Her father caressed her back and gently kissed the top of her head.
"Now you see, my child, what those on Earth are going through. You have a family up there. And if you'd ask me, Jason Grace is a good person, even being a son of my brother. You have a choice, so make it wisely." Pluto said, not backing away from the hug. She nodded and he immediately knew what her choice was. "You know I'd love to have you here with me, but I'd love even more to see you happy. Don't be reckless. And listen to your brother. You don't have to worry to come see me, I'll make sure to visit you during your recovery." As he said that, a white door appeared out of nowhere. "Here's your carpool." The girl started to walk to the door, when she heard Pluto say: "(Y/N) I lo-... Good luck." She smiled to him and went through into the door. It felt like eons in the nothingness. She felt so much pain all over her body. Then she gained conscience. She didn't knew how long it had passed. She also couldn't open her eyes or say anything, but she knew she was laying down something comfortable, a bed, perhaps. But she could hear perfectly well.
"... and I'm so sorry you had to die for me to gain the courage to say this. Please come back to us... Come back to me. Nico barely leaves this room and nor do I, Will had to force him to go eat. It's not the same without you, (Y/N/N), it really isn't." Jason's words gave her the urge to cry, but she couldn't. It was like her body had shutdown completely. She felt his warm hands on her cold ones and after that, a door was opened. Footsteps. Only one person. Jason didn't move. Someone sat down next to them.
"Dad- I mean, Hades said she will be okay." It was Nico's voice. He sounded extremely tired.
"Didn't he say that last month?" Grace was annoyed, but he didn't stop holding her hand.
"I know, I wish I could do more... I'm... I'm sorry Jason." The blond sighted.
"I should be the one to be saying that. I know there's nothing else to do. I'm sorry for putting the blame on you. It's just- if we've talked before, nothing of this would have happened. If only I was brave enough..." (Y/N) felt weak and her consciousness was back at nothing again. When she heard something again, it looked like a lot of time had passed by, but she wasn't sure at all. Jason's voice was happy as he told her his plans to the future.
"I realised you would like to work with me training the legion. You're obviously skilled and the payment is quite good. And I've heard they are planning to build a village here as well, but I don't know if you-..." Every time she tried to stay conscious, she felt weaker. 'Rest', her father's voice said inside of her head, so she let herself.
Some time...? A long time...? She didn't knew. But the next time she heard, she was way stronger. She waited until then, so she could stay longer and try to understand her emotions. She heard almost an entire day. Her friends entered and left cabin 13 — she found out that she was there. Some of them talked "to" her, some just sat there in silence. When alone, Nico talked a lot about Will Solace. (Y/N) smiled mentally. Then Jason entered. She could already recognise the sound he made walking. He sat beside her bed and held her hand, as usual.
"Hello, princess. You look better." She reunited all the strength she had storage and sent it all to her right hand. She softly squeezed Jason's hand, for a small portion of second, trying to say 'hi'. She felt exhausted. He gasped.
"She just squeezed my hand!" He screamed, laughing. Nico jumped out of his bed, laughing as well. They both stared at her, waiting for more. "You're there, right? I knew you were! It's been long months, but you're getting better. Don't work too hard. We'll see each other soon, don't worry." He kissed her forehead. After that, it was easy for her to let go and dive into her sleep again.
She was slowly getting better. She noticed her comas were smaller now, and she got stronger every time. She started communicating by squeezing people's hand. One time for 'yes' and two times for 'no'. But it still was exhausting. She met with her father a couple times through dreams, but it never lasted long. She was sick of it. She wanted to jump out of the bed and run through all the camp. She was alone with Jason, as he talked about the last time he went to Camp Jupiter, telling every change. She slowly forced herself to open her eyes. It wasn't for too long, just enough for her to see the big smile he had while talking, her favourite blond hair and how he gesticulated while speaking. By that time, her feelings were completely lined. She declined her childishness and stubbornness to accept the fact that she obviously loved him. Her lips were able to form a small smile. He hadn't noticed her yet. I can do this, she thought.
"J." She whispered for the first time in five months. Her eyes were already closed again. He gasped.
"Did you just say J? That's me! I'm here, i'm right here, love. Can you hear me?" She squeezed his hand one time. Yes. He chortled. "You're so strong. I miss you so much." He started softly crying. She squeezed his hand two times. No. Don't cry, she wanted to say. "Alright, 's fine, 's fine. Gods, you're coming back. I bet Aphrodite is watching us closely." He chuckled but suddenly stopped. "I forgot we haven't talked about that yet, i'm sorry. I don't wanna be intrusive, you know. It's just, by what Nico has told me, well, you still liked me." She squeezed two times. "That's... that's great, love. But don't worry about that just yet. You should take some rest now, my love."
Five days. She had woken up every single one of them, but only listening. No squeezes, no talking, no looking. Just storing strength. She knew she was close to fully waking up. She was already able to keep track of the days. It was a Sunday, the day she received the most visits. It should be morning, because she only heard Nico's snorting. She slowly opened her eyes. The same place. Different clothes. She wondered who had changed them. Perhaps Will did. She systematically moved her arms, pushing herself to sit. Her back was laying at wall. She took a deep breath. It was going fine. She wanted to wake Nico up, but she decided to wait to see if she would be able to actually stay awake. About an hour later, Nico woke up by himself. He yawned and turned to her bed. She looked at him with a big smile. He jumped out of bed.
"Holy shit, (Y/N)! You're up! How- Wait! I need to- Wait! Don't fall asleep, I'll be right back!" She blinked slowly to sign 'ok'. He was back moments running later with a bunch of teenagers in pyjamas. They all froze at the door, staring at her. Hazel, Frank, Annabeth, Percy, Jason and even Piper. Hazel was the first one to wake up from the trance. She ran to her sister and hugged (Y/N).
"Ouch." She managed to say, reacting to the tight hug that made her head hurt.
"Right, sorry! I forgot. Wait, you speak!" Hazel answered and laughed. All of the others joined in, amazed by her friend, and started talking, telling everything she had missed. (Y/N) couldn't speed properly, only a few words like 'hi', 'ow', 'miss' and 'food'. Later that day, Will came to check on her. He said everything looked just fine, but that she should rest.
"Hey." Zeus' son said, once they were alone.
"Hi."
"Gods, it's so good to finally hear you again. I've talked to myself for a long time." They giggled softly. (Y/N) wasn't showing any signs of it, but that day had been extremely tiring. Her entire body hurt but she couldn't give up just yet.
"I... heard." She whispered. "A bit." Her eyes tried to close but she opened them wide, fighting her own nature. Jason noticed that.
"Hey, no need to over do it.” He brushed her cheek with his thumb.
"Sleep... here." She begged, placing her hand beside her. He froze for a moment, embarrassed. And then, with a rubor across his face, he sat on the bed beside her. She laid her head on his chest and quickly fell asleep.
“Go to sleep, love. We have all the time in the world.”
176 notes · View notes
darling-i-read-it · 4 years
Text
Sorbet
1x07
Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 
Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist
Word Count: 3.3k
Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, surgery, murder, organ harvesting 
Author’s Note: Dudes this is so long and took me forever but I have so much fun with them I could literally care less. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
I took lines directly from the script so some may seem familiar.
Official Episode Summary : A murder involving organ removal makes Jack think that the Chesapeake Ripper has resurfaced; Will has nightmares about being a killer; Hannibal tries to seduce Alana Bloom.
I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 
(not my gif)
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Hannibal walked over to where you were sitting at your desk in the waiting room. You were heavily invested in something on your computer which surprisingly was actually your job. You did a few clicks before you were able to look up at Hannibal who waited patiently for you to be finished.
“You have another appointment at 5:30,” you said pleasantly although he usually didn’t need to be reminded. 
“Yes I know but I wanted to sneak in a conversation.” You raised an eyebrow and took out the earbud that you had in while you worked in solitude.
“I’m all ears,” you told him. He nodded. 
“I’m going to attend an opera singer show tonight, along with dinner. I accidentally bought two tickets, courtesy of rushed times, and was curious to see if you might want to attend with me.” Your lip curled up into a smile and you nodded.
“Sure. I’ve never been to an opera anything,” you said truthfully. “What do I even wear?” He shrugged.
“Something nice. I’m sure you have something in the back of your closet.” 
“I’m sure I do too. Should I meet you here or…”
“If it’s not any trouble I could simply pick you up at home.” You nodded.
“Will’s teaching a late class tonight so I doubt he’ll even know that I’m gone,” you said and as it left your lips your shuddered. You weren’t sure quite how you felt about this now. “I’m curious, why ask me? I’m not exactly cultured, I have a boyfriend,” you said. Hannibal shrugged his shoulders.
“I thought you might appreciate it more than anyone else I know personally.” You nodded. You would tell Will, it wasn’t like you were having an affair or anything. It was simply dinner and a show while Will worked. It just happened to be with Hannibal.
“What time should I expect you?”
“Around 7.” You smiled.
“Perfect.”
-
At exactly 6:59 the doorbell rang. You hadn’t had time to call Will so you left him a note, just in case you got home after he did. You opened the door and Hannibal looked you up and down, a small smile gracing his face.
“You were able to find something nice in the back of your closet after all,” he said. You gave him a small twirl and he did a little clap, chuckling. You were quite pleased with the look you were able to pull together, the dress you had worn to a wedding a few years back still fitting thankfully. It was perfect and ended up complimenting Hannibal’s suit rather well.
“You wash up nice too Doctor. Although I can’t say I’ve ever seen you dressed down.” He nodded.
“I try to stay on alert fashionably,” he said. 
“That’s quite clear.”
-
The show was stunning. You were quite moved by the performance actually and noticed some tears had even pricked at Hannibal’s eyes as well. He was the first to stand and clap. You followed him after to the dinner portion where he seemed to know many more people than you did.
“It’s been too long since you’ve properly cooked for us, Hannibal,” one of the women he knew said. You hung at his side, nursing a glass of champagne. You were still amazed from the show and were happily eating food off of trays as they came by.
“Come over and I will cook for you,” he said simply. 
“I said properly. Means dinner and the show. Have you seen him cook? It’s an entire performance. He used to throw such exquisite dinner parties. You heard me. Used to,” she said teasingly, looking between you and Hannibal.
“It’s true, when you cook it is like a whole event,” you said. He gave you a look, chastising you with his eyes and you backed off. 
“I will again. Once inspiration strikes. I cannot force a feast. A feast must present itself,” he explained. Everyone around you seemed in awe. It was odd to see Hannibal in his element every place you went with him.
“I believe this young man is trying to get your attention,” she said and both you and Hannibal turned to an excitable man. You recognized him, he was one of Hannibal’s frequent patients. At least twice a week he came in. Hannibal swiftly gestured for you to take his arm and you did, curious to how this interaction would go.
“Hello,” Hannibal said simply.
“Hi! Nice to see you. This is my friend Tobias,” Franklyn, you were sure his name was, said. 
“Good evening,” Hannibal said simply again.
“How do you two know each other?” one of the women asked. 
“There should remain some mystery to my life outside the opera,” Hannibal said, dodging the question gracefully. 
“I’m one of his patients,” Franklyn said dumbly. So bluntly you were taken aback. “Who’s this? I didn’t know you were in a relationship,” Franklyn said, pointing to you. You shook your head quickly.
“She’s only a friend,” Hannibal said very narrowly. You were once again amazed at how he handled every conversation. You were beginning to wonder if you had ever seen him frazzled.
“She’s holding your arm,” Franklyn pointed out. You pulled your arm back swiftly and Hannibal let you.
“Simply for support,” Hannibal explained. You nodded. You wanted to call Will. But on the same note you weren’t mad at the cultural ‘elite’ thinking of you as Hannibal’s. It seemed like a nice place to be. “She and her boyfriend are friends.” You nodded and brushed a piece of your hair out of your face awkwardly.
“Ah one of those progressive couples,” one of the ladies said, pointing between the two of you. You were stunned at the idea but weren’t about to ignore how appealing that sounded.
“Not quite yet,” Hannibal joked. You laughed alongside him and still wondered, yet again, what the hell he meant by that.
-
When you woke up that morning Will was beside you. He hadn’t been when you fell asleep last night. You had stumbled inside, taken a shower and passed out on top of the covers. He was tucked underneath as the phone rang. You let out a moan at the early hour and he picked up the phone. You were too tired to make out the words but eventually your hearing and vocal ability came back to you.
“Jack,” he muttered. “Ripper.” He got out of bed, letting you know in two simple words where he was going. You sat up a bit and watched him get clothes out of the dresser.
“Good luck,” you told him, voice cracking from not being used all night.
“Where did you go last night?” he asked, voice equally slurred and tired. You wondered briefly how he noticed you had gone anywhere then remembered you dated the FBI’s best evidence guy.
“I went to the opera.” He turned to you, a judging eyebrow raised.
“For kicks?”
“I went with Hannibal.” He let out a scoff and you slid out of bed, wrapping your arms around his waist.
“Do you not like him?” you whispered into his shoulder.
“I do. I don’t understand him though.”
“That makes two of us.” You felt the bond between the three of you and now you wondered if Will had felt it as well. You couldn’t be sure but you didn’t want to ask him yet. Not until you were sure yourself.
“How was it?” he whispered.
“How was what?”
“The opera.”
“Oh. Good actually. He cried,” you said. Will chuckled and turned around.
“I’ll have to point that out next time I see him for a session. Did you know they aren’t even really sessions? I guess they’re just friends talking,” he muttered thoughtfully.
“I do know that because we aren’t paying,” you teased.
“Go back to bed. I gotta go.” He kissed your forehead and you nodded, all too happy to slip back into sleep.
“Be safe.”
“I’ll try.”
-
You came into work and Hannibal had just pulled in. He had a break at the end of the day and was now into afternoon sessions, Will’s being the last on his list. You and Will pulled up together and you walked inside to make sure he was all settled. 
You walked into the office and Hannibal almost immediately ushered you out but he stopped, curious how the dynamic of the three of you in one room would play out.
“You’ve been drinking?” Will asked, gesturing to the glass on the table.
“I had a glass of wine with my last appointment,” Hannibal explained. 
“You drank with a patient?” Will asked. 
“You didn’t have a patient in the last two hours,” you said, out of instinct.
“She drank with a patient. I have an unconventional psychiatrist.”
“We have that in common,” Will said.
“Am I your psychiatrist or are we simply having conversations?” Hannibal asked.
“Yes I think is the answer to that question,” Will said.
“I should probably go,” you said, realizing you had stuck around longer than you usually would. Hannibal shrugged.
“If this isn’t a proper session, who's to say you have to go. We’re just having conversations and I just so happen to be a psychiatrist.” Hannibal said. “It’s completely up to Will.” You and Will locked eyes and he shrugged.
“Have a glass of wine with us,” Will said. You walked inside and sat on the desk, allowing the boys to have both chairs. Hannibal poured three glasses and handed you each one. “I hear you’ve taken my girlfriend to the opera,” Will said. Hannibal shrugged, sitting in his chair.
“It was an enlightening experience was it not?” Hannibal asked, gesturing to you with his wine glass.
“It was. We even ran into one of his patients who’s obsessed with him,” you said in a gossipy tone. 
“Oh?” Will said.
“I’m not at liberty to give details,” Hannibal digressed. “I hope you don’t mind that we went.”
“Not at all. I was teaching, I couldn’t have kept her entertained otherwise.”
“Hey, I like to come watch you teach,” you said, swallowing a bit of your drink. Will gave you a look and you smiled at him sillily.
“What was the class about?” Hannibal questioned. 
“The infamous Chesapeake Rippers old victims,” Will said. “How, who, when, where. Jack wants all minds on this.” Hannibal seemed intrigued.
“I would have liked to catch that one actually,” you said.
“Why's that?” Hannibal asked. 
“I don’t know. He’s alluring. Or she.”
“I’d bet on it being a he,” Will said bluntly.
“Well you are the expert,” you said. 
“But this last murder, I hear it’s also the Ripper?” Hannibal questioned. You leaned forward, putting your elbow on your knee as you sat on the table. 
“It’s not the same guy,” Will stated. 
“The victims were all brutalized. What was the brutalization hiding?” Hannibal questioned. 
“Careful, surgical removal and preservation of vital organs,” Will explained. This was more than you got during pillow talk. You were visibly intrigued. 
“Valuable organs,” Hannibal pointed out.
“Organ harvesting?” Will asked, surprised. 
“Jack Crawford’s looking for a serial killer he can’t seem to catch. It’s a brilliant diversion,” Hannibal pointed out. You shrugged.
“I’m not you guys but from what I know about the ripper he seems... I don’t know, more personal than that,” you said.
“If this is a different man however,” Hannibal pointed out.
“Organ harvesting under the cover of the ripper would be a good cover,” Will pointed out.
Hannibal looked between the two of you and smiled. He had planned to invite over Alana Bloom for dinner and a drink, cautiously talk about how years ago colleagues thought they were having an affair. Now he thought better of it. Perhaps all he needed was in this room. 
-
“I’m clocking out Hannibal,” you said, knocking on the office and opening the door cautiously. You knew that no one was in there, you had no more scheduled sessions for the day.
“You’re boyfriend has missed his appointment,” Hannibal pointed out, standing from his desk.
“You must have made that schedule without me present.” He showed you where he had written in Will’s name and nodded. “He’s likely at school. I was going to get him if you would care to tag along and chastise him.” He nodded.
“I would like that, yes.” 
You rode in your respective cars there and walked in together. You saw Will, eyes open but not really there. You hadn’t seen him like that before and you quickly walked over to him while Hannibal opted just for saying his name a few times.
“Will?” Will turned around and saw the two of you. He was strangely comforted whilst also being on edge about the dream he was just having about Abigail. “I have a 24-hour cancellation policy,” Hannibal said. You put your arm on his shoulder and he put his hand on yours as he stood up shakily. 
“What time is it?” he asked.
“Nearly 8,” you said.
“I’m sorry Hannibal,” Will muttered. 
“No apology necessary.”
“I must’ve fallen asleep.” Will turned to you. “Was I sleepwalking?” he questioned as though you hadn’t just gotten there.
“Your eyes were open but you weren’t there. No sleepwalking through,” you explained. 
“I felt like I was asleep. I need to stop sleeping altogether. Best way to avoid bad dreams,” Will muttered. Hannibal glanced over the crime scene photos that were sprawled across the desk to the side of the room.
“I can see why you have bad dreams,” he muttered. You and Will walked over.
“What do you see Doctor?” Will asked. 
“Sum up the Ripper in so many words? Words are living things. They have personality, point of view, agenda.” He looked over the pictures further. “Displaying one’s enemy after death has its appeal in many cultures.”
“These aren’t the Ripper’s enemies. These are pests he’s swatted,” Will said bluntly
“The reward for their cruelty?” Hannibal questioned. 
“He’s not bothered by cruelty. The reward is for undignified behavior. These dissections are to disgrace them. It’s a public shaming. “
“Takes their organs away because in his mind they don’t deserve them?”
“In some way.” 
It was almost an honor to watch them work. You didn’t put in any input that their minds wouldn’t come up with themselves. You just stood between them and watched. Hannibal picked up a picture of an arm. You recognized it.
“Miriam Lass?” you asked. Will nodded.
“She’s not like the other victims. The Chesapeake Ripper had no reason to humiliate Miriam Lass,” Will muttered.
“Seems to me he was humiliating someone when he cut off her arm,” Hannibal said. 
“He was humiliating Jack Crawford,” Will said.
“Have you considered your girlfriend as the Ripper?” Hannibal questioned and you scoffed. 
“I prefer a more direct approach.” 
“This isn’t direct enough for you?” Hannibal questioned. 
“Well Will, do you think it worked?” you asked. Will shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded.
“I’d say it worked really well.” 
Jack and Bev walked in then, holding a piece of paper.
“Doctor Lecter, Y/N, what a surprise.” He held up a paper and looked at Will. “We have a lead.”
“Maybe Y/N should stay,” Will said, going into overprotective boyfriend mode.
“No, she should come,” Hannibal said. “She wants to be a part of the FBI one day, consider this training.”
“Well how about it? Care to help us catch the ripper?” Jack asked. You shrugged. 
“How could I refuse?” Hannibal asked.
-
 You were driven to an ambulance garage. You waited in the car as they found out that the ambulance they were looking for was actually taken out and everyone was back rather quickly, driving quickly. 
“This is very educational,” Hannibal pointed out as Jack started to speed to a new location. You got out this time around and stuck close to Will and Hannibal as they approached the ambulance. 
Jack was in front and you heard a booming, “Show me your hands.” Followed closely by a loud, “Dr. Lecter!” 
Hannibal started to run over and you and Will followed but as a distance. There was a man in the back, his hands in a body. Will covered you instinctively but you pushed forward, watching as Hannibal climbed in without hesitation.
“He was removing the kidney. Poorly. I can reattach it,” Hannibal said.
“Do it,” Jack said. Hannibal worked quietly for a few seconds as the whole of the FBI held their breaths. 
“Do you have it?” Jack asked. 
“I’ve got it,” Hannibal replied. 
“Silvestri, show me your hands.” The man raised his bloody, gloved hands and stepped away. “Step out of the vehicle. On the ground. Hands behind your head,” Jack said. 
Yours and Will’s eyes were no longer on the mock Chesapeake Ripper. Instead you watched Hannibal work and his eyes fleeted up to the two of you and then quickly back down to the inside of a human.
-
“I have a butcher who carries sow’s blood. Centrifugate, separate the matter from the water. Creates a transparent liquid. Serve with tomatoes in suspension. Everybody will love the sweet taste,” Hannibal said as he walked around his kitchen quickly. “Are you sure the two of you can’t stay?” 
Will held a bottle of expensive wine in his hands beside you. You shook your head. 
“We have to head home and attempt to get Will to sleep a full night,” you said. Hannibal nodded in understanding. 
“How is Mr. Silvestri’s donor?” Hannibal asked.
“You saved his life,” Will said.
“Been a long time since I used a scalpel on anything but a pencil,” Hannibal said. 
“Why did you stop being a surgeon?” you asked. 
“I killed someone. More accurately, I couldn’t save someone. But it felt like killing them,” he explained. 
“You were an emergency room surgeon. It has to happen from time to time,” Will said. 
“It happened one time too many. I transferred my passion for anatomy into the culinary arts. I fix minds instead of bodies and no one’s died as a result of my therapy,” Hannibal said. You both nodded. 
“We should go. I’ve got a date with the Chesapeake Ripper before Y/N forces me into bed,” Will said. You hit his arm.
“Or is it rippers?” Hannibal asked.
“Devon Silvestri was harvesting organs but not with the Chesapeake Ripper. No connection between them,” Will explained, happy to be right once again.
“Jack must be devastated,” Hannibal said.
“We can only hope,” you muttered.
“Enjoy the wine,” Will said and you were both gone.
1x08
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tomhollandstrash · 3 years
Text
Chasing Stars
Why is it that I always write something angsty even when I don’t mean to?? Also, I am seeing a second part to this. Let me know if that’s something y’all might be interested in!
Pairing: prince! Tom Holland (bc why not??) x reader
Warnings: angst, maybe a swear or two, the ending is sad as hell but also there’s hope? 
Word count: 2.2k
You leaned your head back on the car’s headrest, closing your eyes contentedly as you felt the cool ocean breeze against your skin. When you asked Tom to run away with you for the night, you were half kidding; you didn’t think he’d agree so eagerly. It was a passing suggestion as you rested with your head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Part of you thought that he hadn’t heard you, so you were prepared to let it go. That is- until you heard him say yes. 
You just wanted to get out of the city for the night, all you wanted was to drive as far away as you possibly could. There were so many things you needed to say to Tom, so many things you still wanted to do with him. Sleep could wait until another night. Tonight you wanted to spend as much time soaking up Tom as you could. Come morning, the two of you may never see each other again. At the very least, the two of you could pretend that things were normal one more time. 
Tom reached over and squeezed your hand gently, releasing a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding in. His eyes stayed focused on the road ahead, hand on the steering wheel, forearm muscles contracting as he readjusted his grip. You were now looking at Tom, your lips curving into a soft smile. There was always something so magical about being with Tom like this. Like the two of you were the only people in the world. You so desperately wished you’d be able to have more moments like this, but sadly, time was running out. 
“What are you thinking about?” Tom asked, bringing your hand up and kissing your knuckles. 
“How glad I am that we’re together right now,” You replied, sitting up a little straighter in your seat. 
“I am too,” 
--
You and Tom had been driving for hours, though it didn’t feel that long. Time always seemed to pass quickly when you were together. You were far out of the city now. The silence of the peaceful landscape lulled you into a trance. You were thinking about everything that could be if Tom were just a normal guy. Sure, when he was with you he was just Tom Holland. A sweet, sometimes nerdy, and extremely caring guy that you loved with your whole heart. Tom loved that he could just be himself around you. You didn’t have the expectations that his family or the public did. Tom being Tom was enough for you, and damn did that feel good.
“Care to go to the beach?” Tom asked, breaking the silence and gesturing to the vast expanse of sand next to the road. 
“Do you even have to ask?” You turned to him and raised an eyebrow, chuckling lightly. 
“Okay, okay,” He laughed and turned into the parking lot by the beach. 
As soon as he parked, you hopped out of the car stretching your legs. The cool nighttime air and the salty smell of the ocean was an intoxicating combination. The wind blew through your hair and past your body, making you shiver slightly. You took in the view and sighed happily, wrapping your jacket around yourself a little more tightly. Tom came up and stood next to you, wrapping his arm around you and placing a kiss on the top of your head. 
“Thanks for agreeing to run away for the night,” You said, leaning into his touch. 
“Anything to spend more time with you, darling,” Tom replied. “I’ve got a few blankets, by the way,” 
He gestured toward you with his other arm that was full of soft blankets. You smiled brightly at him, making his heart melt. Tom absolutely loved your smile, and he loved it even more when he knew it was meant for him. 
“Oh, look who’s prepared,” You said playfully, nudging his side gently with your elbow. 
Tom laughed before taking your hand and leading you onto the sandy beach. He put the blankets on the ground, making sure to add a dramatic flourish as he did. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow and laughed. When the blanket was laid out, Tom laid down and opened his arms gesturing for you to lay down with him. Smiling, you happily joined him on the blanket and rested your head on his chest. 
You listened to the sound of Tom’s heart as he rubbed soothing circles into your shoulder. Neither one of you said anything, settling into a comfortable silence as you gazed at the stars. You shivered slightly and Tom pulled a spare blanket over the two of you for warmth. The sound of the ocean gently crashing against the shore calmed the both you, and helped you both avoid thinking about the reality of your situation.  
Tom was a prince with a rather unfortunate duty to his people. His duty meant that his hand in marriage belonged to someone else, and you hated that fact. It wasn’t that you didn’t support him or his family. In all honesty, the Hollands were loved, adored by their subjects; and the woman he was supposed to be getting married to was perfectly lovely. You’d never met her but from what Tom had told you, she seemed nice enough. She wasn’t too thrilled with the arrangement either, wanting to focus on philanthropy and activism rather than getting married. 
“I wish you weren’t getting married to someone who isn’t me,” You said softly, snuggling closer into Tom’s side. 
“Me too,” He sighed, looking at you sadly. 
Tom loved you so much that it hurt. He would do anything if it meant he would be able to spend forever with you; but what could he do? Realistically, it didn’t seem like the two of you had many options. He remembers how heartbroken you looked when he told you about his engagement. He wanted to tell his family it was off, he wouldn’t do it, but something kept him from expressing his true feelings. 
After the two of you talked through it, you decided to continue seeing each other. With the engagement, it meant that things had to be kept on the down-low, but it wasn’t that different from how things were before. If you were honest, there was something kind of exciting about sneaking around. All of the midnight dates, late-night walks in the park, and romantic slow dances in an empty gazebo were like something straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. It was positively dreamy. You didn’t care what time of day you were seeing Tom, just as long as you got to see him. 
Despite all of the romance, all good things must come to an end. There was a particularly tearful Thursday night on which you and Tom made a hard decision. Once he was married, the two of you decided that maybe it would be best if you cut off all contact, at least for a little while. And although the thought of not having Tom in your life and Tom not having you in his was almost unbearably painful, the two of you thought it would be for the best. Maybe you would decide that the two of you could be friends after a while, maybe your feelings for one another would subside. 
You sat up and put your hands in your lap, looking at Tom over your shoulder. 
“Let’s forget about it tonight, let’s just enjoy the time we have left,” You said, standing up and holding your hands out to him. 
“Yes, let’s,” Tom grabbed your hands and hoisted himself up off of the blanket. 
The two of you spent the next hour frolicking on the midnight beach, running around like children and laughing until your ribs hurt. The moon and stars were so bright that you didn’t need any other source of light. It was almost like they were smiling down on you and Tom. 
“God, I love you so much,” Tom declared, cupping your face and kissing you deeply, the waves lapping at your bare feet. 
The kiss was needy and desperate, and you could feel all of Tom’s love through it. You ran your fingers through his brown curls and pulled him closer. You couldn’t get enough of each other. When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads against each others’. You let your eyes stay closed, wanting to savor this moment. 
“I love you too,” You said, opening your eyes to look at him. “Let’s go cuddle up with the blankets, I’m cold,” 
“Okay, sounds good,” Tom chuckled, lacing his fingers with yours as the two of you returned to your little nest made of blankets. 
--
The rest of the night the two of you talked about everything and anything. You were completely invested in one another. Not once did you ever stop being in physical contact. If you were cuddled up to Tom’s side, he had an arm around you, you were holding hands, or kissing. If anyone else would have been on the beach that night, they would have gushed about the couple who seemed so in love spending their time together. 
Your eyes eventually started growing heavy and you fell asleep with your head on Tom’s chest, the slow rise and fall of his breathing lulling you to sleep. 
--
“Y/N,” you heard a gentle voice calling your name, and felt light kisses peppering your face. “We have to get up, love,” 
You opened your eyes, squinting at the cotton candy colors painting the sky. 
“Don’t want to,” You mumbled, burying your face back into Tom’s side. 
Tom laughed softly, before wrapping his arms around you again. Truth be told, he didn’t want to get up either. He wanted to be here, or anywhere, with you for the rest of his life. Sadly, reality was calling and no matter how much he wanted it to, it wouldn’t stop. Eventually, the two of you got up and made it back to the car, packing up the blankets and sharing a long kiss before getting in. 
The car ride back to the city was quiet. The two of you had so much left to say to each other, but not enough time. So you settled for a comfortable silence with the radio playing quietly in the background. Tom held your hand the whole way back, bringing your hand to his mouth to kiss it every so often. As you began to see the familiar city skyline through the windshield, your chest grew heavy. It was almost time to say goodbye. 
When Tom pulled up to your apartment, you couldn’t help but let a few tears fall from your eyes. This was really it. Your time together was really coming to an end. Neither one of you moved, each of you not willing to say goodbye first. 
You made the first move, knowing that you couldn’t avoid it any longer. You pushed the car door open and began the walk up to the door, Tom following closely behind. When you reached the door, more tears made their way down your cheeks. Tom cupped your face and tenderly wiped away the tears with his thumbs. 
“I know this is what we agreed on, but this sucks,” You pouted and let out a breathy laugh, trying to lighten the mood. 
“It does suck,” Tom agreed, pulling you in for a tight hug. He couldn’t believe he was really going to have to let you go. “I don’t want to let you go,” 
“I don’t either, but we have to,” You said, looking into the distance over Tom’s shoulder. “You’re getting married,” 
“But not to you,” He said ruefully, his own tears starting to spill. 
“I wish,” You replied, tears falling a little harder. 
“Me too, darling,” He whispered before connecting his lips to yours in another deep kiss. 
You were going to miss kissing him like this, hell- you were going to miss everything about him. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, how he would whine when you poked fun at him, and the way he kissed you. What you would miss the most was the feeling of him loving you, and knowing that you would be able to settle into each other’s arms at the end of each day. Eventually, the kiss ended and the moment you were dreading arrived. 
“I’ll come back for you, I promise,” Tom whispered against your lips before slowly releasing you from his grasp. 
You watched tearfully as he walked toward his car, never once breaking eye contact with you. This was so much harder than you thought it would be. But you know what they say, if you love someone, let them go. You weren’t sure this is the situation they were referring to, but it gave you something to cling onto. You loved Tom with everything you had. 
“I love you!” Tom shouted from over his car, hands cupped around his mouth before ducking into the vehicle. 
“I love you too!” You shouted, not sure if he heard it, but knowing that he knew how you felt. 
As Tom drove away from you, the pink and purple colors in the sky started to fade. You couldn’t help the sobs that wracked through your body as he got further and further away from you, but you still had hope that he would keep his promise. 
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Text
A good place to die Chapter 26 (smut)
Warning: Harsh language, violence, smut
He was all over me, literally. Whilst he kept my lips and tongue busy with his, his hands roamed across my body, gently caressing every square inch of it. The last tattered remains of my clothes fell off, but his silken gloves kept me warm against the cold air. I sucked on his lower lip to encourage him further, and in response he leaned into me. The sensation of his touch multiplied, and during a breath pause to draw breath I opened my eyes. Penny had sprouted another two pairs of arms, giving him a slightly spider-like appearance.
Whilst he played with my hair, he simultaneously worjed my erect nipples, kneading them; pinching them just enough to illicit a sweet stinging pain. And all the while his hands wandered down further, along my hips, in between my thighs. I pressed harder against him, the familiar desperate yearning overcoming any sense of self-control I had left. There needn’t be any more barriers between us, nothing to separate us – I had been inside him, literally, for fuck’s sake – and I tore at his clothes, fighting against the last veil of silk that stood between us.
His chuckle was barely audible, more of a deep rumble that went through his body right into mine. The hands in my hair disappeared and the pressure against me lessened, but before I could protest his fingers slipped inside me. My insides clamped down on him in an unconscious effort to pull him further along, and their effort was rewarded; Penny’s finger went deeper and deeper into me, as if they were growing in length. The weirdest sensation filled my stomach – his gloves, he must have popped his gloves – and a heartbeat later he touched that sweet, sweet spot.
I screamed as the orgasm hit me like a sledge hammer, but Penny was nowhere near done. His body pressed back against mine, finally rid of clothes and all decency, and he held me so tight I was no longer able to breathe properly. He was still mercilessly working my pussy, but another hand made its way between my ass cheeks. I briefly and very feebly thought about protesting, but in response he pressed against my G-spot again. Whether it was because I was dripping wet or by some transformation of his, his fingers quickly spread some hot liquid around my asshole. Then he inserted one.
One moment, there was the sensation of having soiled myself; then he pushed through the barrier and there was some pain. It didn’t last long, though, as having him inside both front and back quickly overwhelmed me. Still, it wasn’t enough for him. His tongue swelled up, almost forcing my jaws apart, and picked up the rhythm of his fingers as it thrust deeper and deeper into me. As he had swallowed me whole, enveloping me completely, he now filled my up with himself in every way possible. I no longer could feel any ending to my body, nor the beginning of his; all of my senses were filled with him alone.
Again, there was a brief pause as he withdrew his fingers from my pussy, then he shoved his dick into me. I came immediately, and this time it lasted. Wave after wave hit me, eroding my sense of self further and further. Something was different from all the times we had had sex before – something inside me had changed. It resonated with Penny in a way that was difficult to understand – like two sound waves with just the right frequency to suddenly amplify each other.
That resonance almost tore me apart, and I screamed on the top of my lungs as Penny shuddered and came.
The following week was entirely governed by the last minute preparations for both Bee’s return as well as the store opening, which would coincide. With Auntie’s help I fought my way through the rooms and seemingly unending layers of garbage and dirt. Thankfully Bee had already declared her intentions to renovate the whole apartment by herself, and she had spent countless hours picking colors and some new furniture from catalogs. The little insurance money she got wouldn’t allow for much more, but her DIY-attitude had significantly improved over the last days. We just made sure the dirt was gone and that the facilities worked; which they did. Still, by the time I was done every evening I did little more than hit the shower and fall into bed.
Penny found his own way to keep me company – he usually waited in my room, made good use of the phone I had gotten him, and occasionally accompanied me on my ways in the form of a big orange tabby. At night he would cradle me in his arms, making our fight seem like nothing more than a bad dream.
I didn’t have the energy to discuss it any further, either; nor could I bring myself to tell him I still felt rather overwhelmed by the sex we had had. It was a weird, uncomfortable balance that I just couldn’t deal with.
He had carried me home that night, wrapped into silk-like sheets he had miraculously produced, and he had washed me in our tiny shower. I was still entirely beside myself – I didn’t even spend a thought on auntie – and just stood there as he rinsed away his cum that poured out of my body.
He even tucked me into bed.
When the big day finally arrived, I was too tired to feel the least bit excited. I almost fell asleep twice during school, but fortunately no one noticed. It was Friday, and I was excused for the last lesson (P.E.), so I got to leave early. That also meant there was no chance of any potential bully waiting for me, and I didn’t bother checking my bike for any manipulations, as there hadn’t been any for quite a while. Of course, that didn’t turn out too well – somebody had opened the valves of my tires, and by the time I got to the shop, there was no air left in them. I didn’t care, though, as I had to prepare the little buffet auntie had organized for me (nothing major, just some tea and coffee, and some cupcakes she had surprised me with in the morning). After I finished that, I went through the registry and my documents for the last time, in a desperate attempt to not think about Penny and focus on the task at hand.
A quick glance at my watch told me that I had about fifteen minutes left before the official opening hours started. I briefly wondered whether anyone would show up at all – Auntie and I had invested in some flyers, and we had distributed them both at her working place as well as my school. I had also thrown the remaining ones into random mail boxes on my various ways. Despite that, my reputation might very well end up keeping any potential customer from actually seeking the store – my store, I reminded myself – out.
For the first time in a long while I thought back to Yaneesha, Shot and the other idiots that despised me so much. The reason for their unwavering hate was still very much of a mystery to me, but I couldn’t bring myself to wish them harm. After all, they had ultimately suffered bigger losses than I did, and ever since Yaneesha had left school, I hadn’t been physically attacked anymore.
At least not by humans.
I sighed and unlocked the doors.
To my big surprise a couple of people entered while I was putting out the huge board I had painted. They roamed around the shelves, and a tiny silver-hair lady even told me how happy she was that the store was open again. I vaguely remembered her face and came to the conclusion that she was one of the very few somewhat regular visitors. Didn’t she have a fondness for novels? I directed her towards some new arrivals, which prompted my first successful sale.
It was somewhat difficult to believe, and the whole situation felt unreal. Something about the ordinariness was quite at odds with the crazy circus my life had become. I answered questions, recommended books, and made a couple of other sales. It wasn’t much, but still a whole lot more than what I’d expected – nothing.
Auntie joined me after I had been open for ninety minutes, and I could tell how tired she was. We both forced smiles, and despite my best efforts, she insisted on staying with me, though her face grew paler by the minute. Just when I had convinced her to sit down and stop fussing, her face lit up with recognition.
“Oh, you didn’t tell me he was coming. How nice!”
I whirled around just to see Benny-Penny standing outside the store, a red balloon on a string in his hands. For some reason that really touched me – I was just glad auntie sat behind me, so she couldn’t see the stupid smile spreading across my face. I rushed out and grasped his hands.
“I’m so glad you’re here”, I gushed. “I can’t believe you’re willing to go through this… Are you okay?”
He nodded, a familiar twinkle in his eyes, and handed me the balloon. It even read “Congratulations” on it. After quickly wiping my eyes I ushered him inside, ignoring the weird vibrations that built up in my stomach.
Penny looked utterly out of place, a wonderful mixture of awkwardness and otherworldly beauty that was just a tick off – probably not enough for anyone to realize but enough to cause the other visitors to show signs of unease. It was almost comical – a guy in a rather fancy suit started fiddling with his tie, a young girl put her jacket back on, and a group of teens moved closer together. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a good thing unnerve the people who I was supposed to sell to, it was still entertaining to observe. And I couldn’t help myself but marvel at his human form; the way his muscles visibly moved beneath the thin, tight sweater he was wearing; the way that ass looked in that pair of jeans; the way his movements were still the same as in his clown form.
I quickly went into the back room and tied the balloon to my backpack, not wanting to leave Penny alone for too long; but by the time I had returned he sat beside auntie and they chatted away merrily. He laughed – that wonderful, over-the-top crazy laugh of his, and shook his head. Auntie smiled, said something and started chuckling. For a moment she looked much younger, the stress lines fading, and my heart started hurting again.
How I wished I could see her like that every day.
I joined them, but I admittedly didn’t pay much attention, nor contribute much to the conversation – I was just content to see auntie and Benny-Penny happy. My odd behavior wasn’t noticed, though; Benny told one joke after another, and soon, my costumers had circled around us, joining in on the laughs. From time to time I could have sworn I saw a glint of something in Benny’s eyes, but it always disappeared so quickly I couldn’t be sure.
It was a rather pleasant experience to have him around. Time flew by quickly, and making sales felt like something I did on the side whilst I was mainly focusing on Benny. Finally the last pulk of people left the store, and I waved after them. Auntie stood up and started cleaning the buffet table; throwing away crumbled napkins and stacking plates. I offered to help, but she refused me; so I started counting the money I had made. When she left to bring the plates upstairs to the apartment, I dropped all pretence and threw myself into Benny’s arms.
“Thank you for coming”, I whispered, somewhat at a loss at how to convey the deep gratitude I felt.
He just patted my head, but I could feel how exhausted he was. I understood all too well – being around other humans and having to act normally was difficult enough for me, and I was part of their race. I reached up and cradled his cheek in my hand.
“I will make this up to you, I promise.”
Benny’s head shot up so fast I didn’t realize he had moved for a second.
Something was wrong.
His face had become devoid of emotion, the smile that had just been there completely gone, and there was an orange hue in his eyes. He stood utterly still.
“What’s the matter?”
“One of them is coming closer.”
“Who?”
“One of them.”
It took me a second to put his words and his behavior together.
“You mean… the ones that hurt you?”
He nodded, his eyes turning ever more orange. I took his hands and pulled him around to face me.
“Listen, if you need to get out of here, go. But I don’t think you’re in danger – you look like a human, you’re in a fucking bookstore, and besides, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?” That had absolutely no effect whatsoever. He was still as tense as before. “Penny, I promise, you’re safe.”
He slowly lowered his eyes, exhaling loudly. Not even a second later, he tensed up again. This time, he was watching someone outside. I turned around and saw two young men walking down the street. They held brown paper bags and yelled loudly, pushing each other constantly. My somewhat rusty instinct for bad situations told me they were trouble.
“They want to trash your shop.”
I didn’t even question him; I was too focused on the fact that they had changed direction and were now clearly walking up to us.
“I won’t allow that.” I reached into my pocket for my phone, with every intention to call the cops, but this time, Penny grabbed my hands. He had the weirdest little smile, and his left eye started drifting to the side. For some reason, I got goosebumps. I could only watch as he left me and stood in front of the duo. They shouted something, he replied, and the three of them walked away.
What was I supposed to do? I still had my phone in my hand, and I contemplated dialing 911. But what should I say? That I had possibly evaded big trouble? That my killer clown boyfriend had just left with the troublemakers and they’d better start searching for the leftovers, if there would be any? And that Pennywise might be in danger? Hello officer, you know, there’s this creature that kills and feeds on humans, and I love him very much, and he got spooked, so could you please start an investigation, and by the way, clean up after him?
“Where’d he go?”
Auntie had come back to me and looked out the door. I shook my head, gathering my jumbled thoughts.
“Oh, his mom called, he’s supposed to help her with something.”
“It was nice of him to stop by.”
“Yeah, very nice.” I still stared at the corner around which they had disappeared, as if I could make my gaze bend around it to follow them and make sure everything was okay.
“Is everything alright? Did you quarrel?”
“Oh no, I guess I’m just… a little overwhelmed with everything.” My attempt at a reassuring smile was bad at best, but somehow auntie bought it.
“Oh well, it’s been some hectic weeks for both of us.”
I nodded. A quick glance at my phone told me it was time to close down. That, thankfully, wouldn’t take long. However, there was still-
“Look who’s come!”
For the second time that day, a very welcome visitor approached the store. This time it wasn’t my favorite alien killer clown, it was Bee; with a large suitcase in hand and a warm smile on her face.
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rinharu-purple · 3 years
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Relationship Goals: Ch 15
Flows of tears being wiped away by the fingertips of love- dreamless night skies full of stars - a heavy heart washed clean by the rain - hot sweat and cold droplets of water-  a simple “good night” and a “good morning” - that all too well known scent - the excruciating pain of yet another “goodbye”- a blood drenched jacket that’s long lost its owner’s warmth...Name of Faith 
Being the solidifying chapter of my Gavin stanness, chapter 15 has a very special place in my heart. On the other hand, the whole chapter is the very embodiment of “relationship goals”, ensuring that in the MLQC universe MC and Gavin’s relationship is the most harmonious, mature and loving one. The chapter is about an hour-ish long so you could guess how long this analysis will take to read but it surely will be much less than it took me writing it, I promise ;)
At the end of chapter 14 MC had to say goodbye to Kiro without knowing if he would survive the fight against tens of BS men and carry the burden of being the key individual who can put an end to the out of control EVOL outrage. She was heartbroken about Lucien’s betrayal and was worried as hell about Victor’s whereabouts. She was still struggling under the overbearing weight of having to play the role of the “Queen” all the while being one of the last remaining people who still bear to think about the whole TV- tower incident. She’s found herself doubting the meaning of her existence and couldn’t help but feel as though she wouldn’t belong there. At the beginning of Ch 15  we find an MC that hit the rock bottom and is therefore deeply depressed. This is the first time she’s shown such a distressed psyché. So this is how the chapter starts...MC wakes up in her room after being hospitalized for a while, lost in thoughts and looking for reassurance in the gingko leaf bracelet on her wrist.
To have and to hold...
While she is buried in negative thoughts Gavin shows up at her place to give her the good news that there are no more signs of EVOL fluctuations and that STF’s investigation ends as of that day. This results in a real smile blossoming on MC’s face and then her concern switches to Gavin’s well-being. This first dialogue between them is already an embodiment of the foundation of their relationship. Gavin and MC’s main concern is always the well-being of the other. Sure, Gavin and MC always put others before themselves so they both have an altruistic character, however if protecting any other person would mean their s/o getting hurt, then they prioritize each other. We get to see what it means in the second half of the chapter. MC is worried about Gavin’s injuries, Gavin is worried about MC’s emotional state, MC is worried that she makes Gavin worry about her, Gavin is worried that MC worries about him worrying about her, thus keeping her real thoughts inside- not- opening up about them to him. That’s a vicious cycle which needs to be broken and that is exactly what our best boi does by reassuring her that she doesn’t need to put up a front and that she could tell him whatever is eating at her...anytime at all. That guy is already 3 steps ahead of her when it comes to worrying so he pulls her out of her self-agonizing overthinking bubble with those simple words which work like a charm. MC feels as though her heart was slowly lifted up by two hands out of a ravine. So she finally tears down the walls surrounding her agony and lets her tears flow and Gavin wipe them away and he brings the sunshine back into her heart.
Ever since her father’s passing MC didn’t much have anyone to open up to about her most bothering concerns or a shoulder to cry on. Gavin sees this crystal clear and encourages her to tell him about it all, cry it all out and also manages to lift her spirits up. He knows instinctively what she needs at that moment. She is broken, she is lost and she is stripped of her self-worth. Gavin can relate to this state all too well, because he too has been there when his mother died. He knows that she doesn’t need any encouraging talks or sweets or a scientific explanation to her feelings. At that moment, all she needs is warmth and a safe space to process what she is going through thoroughly. Which is why Gavin simply offers her to share what’s eating at her with him and cry all she wants. He doesn’t do anything beyond that. He NEVER EVER PUSHES HER TO DO ANYTHING! He just stays by her side in silence, giving her space...a warm space and the rest unravels from itself.  GOAL #1 Find someone who can feel your troubles, address them with care and share your burden with you. Someone who gives you a safe space to feel down without feeling ashamed of yourself. Someone who makes what’s yours theirs. 
For better, for worse... 
Gavin is aware of the fact that his words can give her comfort, but he also knows that she hasn’t told him the whole story yet. She needs to feel self-worthy again and go back to her true, kind and brave self. So he arranges a Ferris wheel ride in the middle of the night to show her the bright side that she fails to see at the moment. If MC had been asleep then he would’ve just tried another night but much to his luck she was standing on her balcony, lost in her thoughts, gazing at the bracelet he gave her and confiding in it. So he sweeps her off her feet once again and takes her to the construction site. He shows her from the cabin the world she succeeded in saving and that the world which is still turning thanks to her. She is the savior and not the burden and most certainly not a burden to Gavin. Neither with her negative feelings nor with her presence. She belongs there where she is and Gavin appreciates her existence. Because she didn’t only save the world but also him, many times, she caught him while he was falling. However, MC believes that its always been Gavin who was always there to catch her from falling. Their feelings and thoughts are again mirroring each other. Both of them are invested equally in their journey together, both have saved the other. Hearing this, MC finally opens up about her true feelings and lets the tears flow, and those tears are again wiped away by Gavin. When the wheel reaches its zenith, MC and Gavin are in a tight embrace and MC is finally almost back to her usual self: “With it, he took all my tears, all the unsaid words, all my worries and regrets. At that moment, it felt like the walls around my heart had fallen, letting in countless rays of sun. All the unease, suffering, doubt, pain and hesitation just evaporated”. Once they get off the wheel and they run/fly hand in hand under the summer rain, MC feels like Gavin has always been by her side all over the past years and her heart’s worry and gloom is washed away by the rain. This is a very crucial thing for their relationship, because they were separated for six whole years and yet now MC feels like he were always by her side, watching her from afar, accompanying her in her journey. 
On a side note, Ferris wheel and the gingko bracelet have become the main symbols of their relationship. The bracelet represents their bond with each other regardless of the distance separating them and I am certain that the bracelet doesn't have any tracker on it to be honest but it helps MC to cool down when feeling upset or sad by reminding her of Gavin, her precious moments with him, his love for her, and that he will always be there for her. The Ferris wheel on the other hand is their journey. Each time they ride the Ferris wheel together their spirits are lifted up alongside with the cabin. Once it reaches its zenith they consummate their love for each other once again, no matter if it's on a date with a kiss or in CH 15 when MC tells Gavin her true feelings and Gavin addresses them directly resulting of them reciprocating their importance for each other. GOAL #2: A relationship is much like a Ferris Wheel. It goes up, it goes down, then goes up again. It's not always a bed of roses, there are many thorns during the ride. The important thing is to go through both phases hand in hand. 
This whole episode names Gavin as the source of MC’s sense of safety, courage and faith. MC feels herself the safest and most serene around him. Their night together at MC’s home is a strong evidence to this. Up to CH 15 and in the following episodes, MC has constant nightmares almost every night.  But when she sees the faint ray of light from the crack of her bedroom door, she finally enjoys a night’s sleep without nightmares or worries. Knowing that Gavin is on the other side of her door gives her the deepest sense of peace. This happens again in CH 26 btw. and I think the original idea was for them to sleep in the same bed in CH 15 but then abandoned due to obvious reasons... As far as I know Gavin is the only LI who sleeps in MC’s apartment so it shows the level of trust she has towards him. No matter what’s happening during the dates, in the mean story MC is not canonically that close with any of the guys, so it truly shows how safe she feels around Gavin, knowing that he wouldn’t overstep his boundaries. And she couldn’t be more correct, since Gavin leaves before she wakes up, making sure that none of them feel awkward in the morning and leaving the place as he found it, but not before leaving a note which gives her a reassurance that he is going to send somebody to keep an eye on her and ends with a simple “good morning”. Gavin is a very considerate guy, who doesn’t miss any hint thrown at him. After hearing MC not being able to sleep without wishing him good night, he realizes how important this simple wish is for her. So he makes sure to wish her a good morning, whether he is there to say it face to face or not. GOAL #3: Be with someone, with whom you can fell safe and be yourself around them. Someone whose presence chases your fears and nightmares away . Someone who knows what your values are and respects them.
In sickness and in health...
Not long after having a heart to heart conversation, MC and Gavin find themselves in a dispute over Perry. MC wants to stay by Perry’s side with the hopes of being able to help him but also come closer to the truth about her father. Gavin is not happy with the idea since he’s lost his EVOL and is dubious about Leto’s intentions so if any danger were to strike, he might not be able to protect MC. Despite this he agrees with MC’s wish in terms of her not putting herself in danger and that he would stay by her side. The second time the topic comes up, Gavin outright forbids her to get involved with Perry and MC in return, for the first time ever, tells him that she is going to do otherwise. This dispute arises because Gavin doesn’t tell her full story, that he’s lost his EVOL and that the STF is executing the Evolvers. MC on the other hand fails to see the situation from Gavin’s perspective or to trust him when he is so strict about keeping out of the whole ordeal. But right before they temporarily part ways she finds the courage to ask him about his worries and troubles, since she too can feel his distress, much like Gavin did hers at the beginning of the episode and offers to share his burden with him and that’s the thing. MC isn’t upset that Gavin doesn’t want her to see Perry anymore but that Gavin isn’t open with her and that he is still keeping his problems to himself. MC was hoping that he would trust her to face the truth and take on everything with him. That’s what actually hurts her the most. And Gavin is lost in this unexpected argument since he’d never had a situation like this with MC so he is torn between telling her the truth or leaving it be. Unfortunately he decides to just leave their dispute at that and leaves, not willing to have a fight with her. So they give each other the good old silence therapy for days and only after Perry reminded MC of Gavin’s good-will that she finally sends him an SMS (but only at second try, she wouldn’t send the first SMS in which she tells him that she is worried about him). Gavin is not  better either, since he is already at the hospital to check on her from afar, but is not ready to face her yet. Its a typical “earlier in the relationship dispute” so much so that MC even literally sleeps with her phone while waiting for Gavin’s text/ call/ any response at all. Even I am shocked by his level of stubbornness at this point.  The next day MC receives the bad news about Perry and leaves the hospital, letting herself get soaked in the rain. This time around without Gavin by her side, with completely different feelings, thinking that the rain can’t wash everything away. This is a pivotal realization on MC’s end, because at that very moment she realizes that Gavin was the reason of her being able to overcome her worries and face her troubles with faith and courage. Luckily for her, right when she was thinking of him, she senses his scent behind her aaaand cue “Rosy Mirror”...
Its such a lovely moment for the maturity of their relationship, despite them still getting to know each other and being the youngsters they are. So MC apologizes to him (but only going through the reasons why in her head so Gavin only hears that she is sorry) and then Gavin finally opens up, since he has realized that was the mistake on his part, not telling her about his true worries. So without further ado he tells her about his insecurities about the possibility of not being able to protect her since their downfall from the TV tower, about him losing his Evol, about following her for a while from behind without knowing what to do. And that’s pretty much all it takes for them to overcome their dispute, since it was a relatively small dispute and so MC again fells warm and dry inside, not caring about the rain. GOAL #4 There are disputes in all relationships. What’s important during those disputes is not to hurt each other’s feelings irreparably and communicate in honesty. It’s about trusting in each other’s good intentions and resolving the problem in hand with care and understanding. 
Till death do us part...
Our pair makes up and are ready for the next move but there are no happy endings in the MLQC universe...nö nö nö. Of course drama ensues as MC and Gavin find out that Perry has been kidnapped while MC’s precognitions start getting worse. But remember folks, Gav-babe is back so he calms her that as long as her precognitions are about the future, they can still change the course of events and that He trusts in her, so she also should put her trust in him too.  “That was his absolute faith in me, and his absolute reassurance for me”. We could actually roll the credits here without going further with the heart wrenching end of this chapter. 
Not long after though MC and Gavin has to face the worst of the worst...They have to witness Perry getting shot in the chest and leave him in his state, only to be greeted by the STF aiming at them by the exit of the warehouse, leading Gavin to resign from the STF. While on the run from the STF/NW, Gavin realizes that his Evol becomes extremely weak, so much so that he cannot even raise a barrier to hold back the bullets, which then results in MC getting shot on the back while trying to protect him. Not only MC’s precognition is coming true, but also Gavin is at his limit, both physically and mentally. So he is left with no choice, but to sacrifice himself and once again get separated from MC. For Gavin is Ch 15 is the worst-case scenario. The justice he has always believed in turned out to be a façade, he had to witness another child’s suffering in front of him and his raison d’être comes to the brink of losing her life because he failed to protect her. Everything that keeps him alive, everything that makes him who he is , is shattered right in front of his eyes. MC doesn’t have it any better as she can only watch as her worst nightmare comes true. The last 15-20 minutes of this chapter covers MC’s perpetual fear of being left by Gavin. She says thrice that she doesn’t want him to leave and begs him to stay (unfortunately Gavin doesn’t hear any of it). The have just built their faith in each other and yet got separated again after a brief moment of togetherness. IT becomes one of the issues that MC struggles with for at least 10 chapters, namely her fear of being left alone by Gavin.  
Here is a small comparison: All other LIs relationship with MC are doomed because of their choices: Kiro’s alternate personalities as Key (no time) and Helios (no love), Lucien’s involvement as Ares in BS or his values contradicting that of MCs, Victor’s pride and dominance as the research topic for my Phd at Boston College. Those guys actions and personalities conflicting with that of MCs are whats standing on the way of a harmonious relationship. With Gavin, these two are doomed by the seemingly endless external threats. Both Gavin and MC are constantly the main target of somebody’s plans and are under attack. Those poor babies cannot have a second of peace. As if it wasn’t enough, those parties constantly use their bond for their own means. Its Shaw using MC as a bait to provoke Gavin, its Josie telling MC that she is going to kill Gavin, its Gavin’s father using MC to convince Gavin to accept the NW plan. MC and Gavin don’t have any obstacles with regards to their own personalities or choices. They trust each other, stand by each other, understand each other’s perspective and love each other. In this chapter Elex even shows us that they could even take care of a child together for God’s sake. They...just...fit...
Unfortunately once again things unwind to their demise and Gavin, once again, has to leave MC for her sake. Before leaving her, Gavin repairs the gingko leaf bracelet brand new, so that MC can find the reassurance she seeks for on it in his absence and remind her that he will return to her side. He also leaves his jacket behind so that she can still feel his warmth. That’s his promise to her. That’s his reassurance that this is not a goodbye and that he is not ever going to leave without saying goodbye.  GOAL 5# True love is selfless, true love never dies and if two souls belong together, then nothing can keep them apart. because true love prevails. 
The chapter ends as its started. MC wakes up in her room after being hospitalized for a while, lost in her thoughts and finding reassurance in the gingko leaf bracelet on her wrist. The only difference this time around is that she wouldn’t find Gavin in her living room or hear three knocks on the door and find him standing tall in front of her... for this time around Gavin is gone...
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