#crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me

[aviangrian]

thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!

#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically #she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11 #i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything #we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had #like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties! #she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w #she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs! #last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since #this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭 #never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay #you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho #crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me #i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday #at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that #this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND #probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since #this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡

[vanessaedp]

Sweetheart |•| Simon Riley x Fem Reader

fluff, angst if you use a magnifying glass 🔎, Ghost being a cutie patootie, sexual innuendo once, 141 meets ghost's s/o for the first time, soap ans gaz love cats, i hc gaz has celiac disease

not proof-read bc i cant be arsed soz lmfao 💀

also reblog pookies and i'll give you a free foot massage

~~~~

Three months without your boyfriend.

Your eyes scanned the new book you bought, 'Psycho by Robert Bloch'. It was a good book. 'I think everybody goes a little crazy sometimes' Norman bates said in the book. It was a line you related to heavily, especially when Simon went out on his missions. You were left all alone with your cat, Eleanor. Although, she was an adorable, orange tabby cat she reminded you of Simon since he bought her for you. Everything in this house reminded you of Simon. Half of the stuff in the living room he had bought because he'd rather gift you something than hug which you understood because he had opened up a tiny bit about his past and it seemed traumatic. Simon gifted you the most lavish things to equal the amount of times he wanted to hug you but couldn't due to his past. It was sad to think he had to buy your hugs but you appriciated the gesture.

~~~

"Right, I haven't had the chance to tell her that you lot are coming so if she freaks out don't worry." Simon grumbles.

The rest of the group nodded. Price was sitting in the drivers seat with Gaz beside him, they were both chatting about how the mission went while Simon and Soap were sitting at the back. For once, Simon showed some emotion. Nervousness. His leg was bouncing and his fist kept clenching and unclenching.

"You alright L.T?" Soap piped up, looking at his obviously anxious supervisor. Simon nodded.

"I hope she's doing alright." Simon stared at Soap with that stoic expression. Price and Gaz stopped talking and Price turned his head a little, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I'm sure she's fine. From what you've told us she can put up a fight so if something was to happen she'd be cool as a cucumber." Price smiled, trying to lighten the mood. Simon grimaced at the last part of his sentence but Price wasn't wrong. You knew Taekwando and you were flexible. Simon was shocked the first time you showed him how to do a backbend and that beautiful arch your back made that caused him to feel-

"Yeah, Ghost. She seems really nice. I've heard her while you two were on call. It's funny really. She sounds so sweet and bubbly and you-" Gaz stopped himself. "Well..." He trailed off when he saw Price shaking his head at him.

"He means that you two are polar opposites." Soap chimes in. "But you know what they say." He nudged Simon as if he already knew what he was going to say. "Opposites attract."

"Fucking hell." Simon let out a deep sigh. "Are we almost there?" He sounded impatient.

"Just around the corner, mate." Price reassured.

~~~

There was a knock at the door.

You poked your head from your book, folding the page over and stepping off the couch. You sighed. It could be Simon, then again it could be your SHEIN order that was due to arrive yesterday. You walked over to the door and opened it, gasping when you see your boyfriend, Simon.

"Simon!" You smile, stepping forward. Simons breath hitches and you notice this so you take a step back. He feels guilty. He had just been gone for three months and he's too scared to embrace his own girlfriend of 4 years? No. He won't let his fears get to him. Not when he's just left you for so long. Simon steps forward, pulling you close to him and hugging you. His arms stretched around your waist and he rested his face in the crook of your neck, you heard him inhale your perfume.

You were too distracted about the fact that Simon is hugging you that you don't realise his friends were here. You lifted your head to see them awkwardly looking away. "Simon, you never told me you brought your friends." You laughed when he pulled away, you could see the embarrassment in his eyes when he realised he had dived into your arms infront of his boss and co-workers.

"Yeah." He shuffled to the side and they all met your eyes. You smiled and waved and they did the same, mumbling some "hi's" and "hello's". "This is Soap."

"I believe he prefers-." Gaz speaks.

"Pipe down." Soap interrupts him.

Simon gave Soap a harsh pat on the back and Soap gave him a dirty look. He points to Price and Gaz. "Thats Price, my captain and Gaz."

"Oh, its so nice to meet you all. Come in, i'll get you all something to drink if you'd like.

"Um.. alright then." Price smiled back and entered, Gaz and Soap followed close behind and Ghost shut the door.

"I'm gluten free, by the way." Gaz says, looking around your massive living room. It has cat toys everywhere and Gaz nudges Soap. "They have a cat." He whispers and Soap looks thrilled, his head darts around in search for the feline.

While your in the kitchen making the men something to drink, they all settle down on the couch. Eleanor walks in and nuzzles against Ghost's leg. He leans over and pets her, scratching behind her ear. Soap looks in awe. "You never told us you have a cat." He scolds Ghost.

"You never asked." Ghost mumbled, picking Eleanor up and stroking her soft fur. "I missed you, Ellie." He whispers and holds the cat like a baby, loud purrs from Eleanor filled the room.

"Can I hold her?" Gaz asked, peeking over Soap's shoulder to look at the tabby cat.

"Me too, please." Soap asked, feeling his heart melt when Ghost placed Eleanor on Soap's lap. "Oh my god, who's a good kitty?" He says in a baby voice as Eleanor stretched across him and Gaz's lap. Their hands eagerly petting the cats fur.

You return with a tray of coca colas in bottles. "I made sure it was gluten free." You laugh and take a seat in an armchair. "I see Ellie has taken a liking to you both."

"Is that her name?" Gaz asked, looking up at you for a moment before sipping his cola and petting the kitten.

"Well, she's actually called Eleanor but me and Simon just call her Ellie." You smile.

"How old is she?" Price asked, scratching Eleanor's chin, smiling down at her. She purred away peacefully.

"Um.." You glanced at Simon who held up 3 fingers. "She's 3. She's a tabby cat so i'm just glad they don't grow too big."

Price nodded. "She's adorable. Be careful though, Soap and Gaz might want to steal her from you. They love animals." Gaz and Soap didn't even look up from the cat but they nodded. Eleanor let out a meow and they both went 'Aww'. "How long have you two lived together?"

"2 years I think. My dad left most of the inheritance to me so I asked Simon if he wanted to move in with me. And now we're here." You shrugged and Price nodded.

~~~

After about 2 hours of talking and joking Price checked his watch. "We should go now. Gaz and Soap have training tomorrow." He lifted up Eleanor from his lap and placed her on the couch. "Thank's for having us." Price smiled.

"Thanks." Gaz said with a smile before giving Eleanor a scratch on the chin. Soap did the same and nodded.

"Bye, you'll have to come over again!" You waved them off, shutting the door when they drive off. You re-enter the living room and sit beside Simon. "They seem lovely." You look up at him.

"You haven't known them as long as I have." Simon chuckled darkly, his arm hesitantly reaching over your shoulder and hooking around to pull you close to him. He looked down at you.

"So.. do you want to order a take-away or do you want to go out?" You nestled your cheek against the side of his chest.

"Can we stay here?" He asked, sinking into the couch. "Like how we are now. I don't want to let you go."

"Okay, Simon." You nod and smile. And he didn't let you go. He made sure you fell asleep and woke up in his arms.

~~~

eat up guys

#call of duty mw2 #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #simon riley #fluff #light angst #task force 141 #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #johnny soap mactavish #call of duty #simon riley x reader #Spotify

[mangoshorthand]

https://www.tumblr.com/mangoshorthand/744233438604853248/httpswwwtumblrcommangoshorthand7439174121294

it was a random hookup with a family friend. we haven’t really spoken since so i don’t have the option of talking through with him. but it’s nice to know that this is just a common bodily thing and not me. so thank you.

Ah, that is difficult and probably contributed to the way you're feeling. There isn't enough of a level of intimate comfort to have built reassurance that it's really not you. Despite this however, I do promise it's not you. He's probably feeling embarrassed too.

And yes, honestly, it is just a physiological quirk. Sometimes there are reasons behind it (e.g. whiskey dick, lifestyle issues etc) but at other times it's just random and it's never to do with not being into their partner. You can pretty much guarantee, if he's trying to stuff it into you, he wants to. 😉

This has got me thinking about how Five would act in this situation if you're interested. So I present to you and the amassed pervs of Tumblr, something I never thought I'd write about:

Five Hargreeves in: The Curious Case of the Disappearing Erection

I can imagine him getting past 30 in the younger body and then noticing the lack of solid iron boners and the return of whiskey dick after he's had a drink.

He's like: "Ah shit, this again?"

He can scent it coming in the air. The return of phantom boner-failure is on the horizon.

Flashbacks to roughly 25 years in which he'd have to stop sex to try and rub some life into his dick, like he's hoping if he rubs it right a kindly genie will pop out and grant him the wish of a dick that cooperates.

It didn't happen often, but it happened enough to be familiar. He probably never realised it was normal, (there weren't exactly other men to talk to unti he was in his 50s).

I think there are few men who don't personify their dicks to some extent, and Five is no different. I can see him having sex with this girl he really wants and loves (you, if you want to imagine it as such), and then, lo and behold, his dick starts to nope out.

'Don't you dare,' he'd mentally warn his waning penis, 'we've been looking forward to this, asshole!'

But alas, his penis would pay no heed.

No matter how valiantly Five tried, no matter that you look so hot he's had trouble keeping his dick in his pants all afternoon, it has, in fact, chosen this moment to give up the ghost.

So he stops and eats pussy. He loves eating pussy so if anything's going to get him back up, it's that, and he may as well give you some pleasure with his mouth given that he's failing elsewhere.

But now he's so in his own head that maintaining even a partial boner is impossible, let alone allowing him to get into the pussy-eating.

By this point you've noticed something's up and you ask him what's wrong.

He tries to shrug it off and make you come, but you're persistent.

Eventually he says: "I got a problem down here."

Once you realise what he means, you try to tease some life into it, but he's self conscious by this point so it's a self-defeating exercise.

Eventually you give up, but you can sense his embarrassment so you're like: "don't worry, we can try again later."

(You're also feeling pretty self conscious and insecure yourself but you don't want to let on and make him feel worse).

You come to hold each other and stsy silent for a few minutes. Five's irrationally angry with himself and you're trying to talk yourself out of feeling like it's your fault.

Eventually, Five apologises. You can barely tell him he has nothing to apologise for before he's launched into a rant:

"All day I've been half hard looking at you, and now my dick gives up? You've been walking around in those tight pants and bending over and driving me crazy only for me to fuck it up now?"

You hug him harder, both because of the unfair self-blame and because he's unconsciously put your fears to rest.

With some more reassurance, he starts to see the humor in the situation, and then he grumbles off to make you both a coffee.

By the time he's back in bed with a cup of his favourite drug, he's talking about how later on he'll fuck you so silly that you'll forget all about this.

#number 5 imagine #erectile problems #five hargreeves smut #...well attempted smut at least

[purpleturtle9000]

I absolutely could not resist writing this. Jack is in more trouble now than he ever was in canon.

update: all further Titanfall stuff is going to be on my new Titanfall sideblog! best-titan-7274

Of all the things that Jack expected, when he joined the SRS, it wasn’t paintball with Titans. 

He did expect the competitiveness. Pilots by nature are a headstrong group who stop at nothing to get what they want. He’s heard that ‘capture the flag’ was banned a few years ago, after an incident that nobody will explain, but everybody glares about. Apparently no-contact sports were the only way to move forward. 

And apparently Pilots like to shoot things as much as they can, even when they’re not in the middle of a war zone. And even though they’re not allowed to use their core systems. He’s pretty sure that’s a good idea. 

“All right, Cooper, you and me,” Briggs says. 

He grins, even though she can’t see it. She and Lastimosa were friends, she told him, and she’s taken on the mentor role. Only for Lastimosa’s memory, at first, she admitted – but since then, they’ve grown to become friends in their own right. 

“You and me,” he echoes. “BT, you ready?” 

“Affirmative.” 

They have other teammates, but Jack and Briggs are the two who have fought together the most, so they’re leading the run for the other team’s base. It’s halfway through the afternoon, and with both teams having lost people, they’ve decided that an assault on the enemy stronghold is their best move. 

Originally, Jack thought the whole thing about ‘enemy’ and ‘stronghold’ and ‘fuck those guys’ was an overreaction. And then he realised that there was no stronger bond, or hatred, than that formed over Titan paintball. 

Why, he doesn’t know, but he’s enjoying it. The best vacations are the ones where you can shoot at your friends to bother them. 

And he’s definitely shooting at people. The Titans have also been outfitted with paintball guns, an experience that was bizarre to watch. None of the Titans seemed to care about being disarmed. 

Why would they? And hell, Jack’s biased, sure – but he thinks he and BT could beat any of the other teams in hand-to-hand, if they had to. 

They don’t have to, because he and Briggs carry the attack on the stronghold and he gets a very satisfying shot right across an enemy Pilot’s visor. 

The Pilots gather at the middle of the playing field, some complaining about cheap shots and others preening over being the shooters of cheap shots. Jack’s trying not to be too proud of himself, but he did come through this whole thing unscathed. Half of that is because BT was watching his back when he and Briggs disembarked to get through the smaller doors of the stronghold. 

He’s not sure he would have done it if he had any other Titan, but he trusts BT even more than he trusts Briggs. 

“Cooper, you crazy son of a bitch,” Murakami laughs, throwing an arm over his shoulders. “I can’t believe that hit you landed on Taylor.” 

Honestly, he can’t believe it either, because half the reason was Taylor not paying attention at all to his surroundings – but he doesn’t have time to say any of that because BT is stomping over like he’s on some kind of warpath. 

“Apologise to Pilot Cooper,” BT demands. 

“Hey, easy, BT,” Jack says, trying not to laugh. “It’s a compliment.” 

“My records do not indicate that these words are used in a complimentary fashion.” 

“Aw, c’mon, BT, what are you gonna do? Shoot him?” 

BT is quiet. Whether he’s thinking about it, or finding some alternate idea… Jack decides that maybe it’s not the best idea to let him think about it too much. 

“Hey, listen, it’s all right,” Jack tells him, half because Murakami is starting to look a little nervous. “We’re friends. Sometimes people say things like that to friends. It’s not in the words, it’s in the tone.” 

“I used to call Tai a shit-stirring little fucker when we were in training,” Briggs offers, and squirts her water bottle at Ivanov. 

Jack has questions about that, because he always knew Lastimosa as a much steadier personality, but decides not to ask them right now. Apparently, whether it was because of Lastimosa’s even-keeled personality or his intimidating appearance, nobody called him anything like that while he was paired with BT. 

Or maybe, he can’t help thinking with a little smile, Lastimosa bitched out anyone who cursed around his Titan. That seems a little more likely right now. 

“So we good, BT?” he asks, giving a thumbs-up just to test what kind of reaction he gets. At his side, Murakami copies his behaviour, looking a little more nervous than Jack does. 

BT looks from Jack to Murakami, then pointedly only returns one gesture. 

Well, BT’s always liked the other Pilot before, so Jack’s not worried about this becoming a problem. They’ve always been good teammates on missions, even though it’s only been twice so far. BT gets protective, sure – but once the perceived danger passes, he settles down easily. 

“He’ll be fine,” Jack decides as the Titan leaves, and asks who has plans for lunch. 

Someone has the bright idea to bring back ‘capture the flag’, and someone else – he’s going to find out who it is – has the bright idea to elbow him in the face. 

They’re lucky that BT didn’t see that shit, because after the paintball incident, Jack’s pretty sure someone might have gotten drop-kicked by a twenty-foot-tall robot. 

“You know,” he says, “this isn’t nearly as bad as any of the shortcuts I’ve taken.” 

“Just sit still,” the medic tells him. 

He’s not very good at that, when he’s still full of adrenaline from the game, but he tries because moving makes him feel even dizzier. 

“You have a concussion,” the medic decides, which kind of sounds like bullshit. Who gets a concussion from capture the flag? 

“It wasn’t even that hard, I can finish the game,” he says. 

“No. Someone had to let your Titan know that you were hurt–” Oh for fuck’s sake. “– and I’m told he’s on his way.” 

Yeah, he definitely is. Somehow Jack has a feeling that he’s going to get a lecture or something. Can a Titan tell their Pilot that he’s grounded? He has a feeling he’s about to find out. 

There’s a rumble through the ground, and Jack appreciates that something’s blocked out the sun, because the light was really starting to get hard to deal with. He still squints up, though, because his head feels like someone pumped it full of air, and he’s really not sure what’s going to happen if he moves around too fast. 

Maybe he should let BT ground him after all. 

“Hey,” he rasps out, not really wanting to talk too loudly. 

BT, bless him, seems to figure out what’s going on and talks more quietly than he usually does. 

“How are you feeling, you son of a bitch?” 

Not great, but– did he just–

“Jack Cooper,” the medic scolds him, clearly appalled. 

“Don’t look at me like that! I didn’t teach him to swear!” 

“You taught me that those words could be used with positive connotation.” 

“BT, you bastard!” 

There’s a pause, and then,

“I do not believe those words are used with positive connotation. Noted.” 

The medic is looking steadily angrier with him, something he can tell even with a pounding headache, and he decides that discretion is the better part of valour, like Lastimosa once told him. 

“Lemme embark, BT,” he says, because right now, being stuck inside a peeved Titan is much safer than being in arm’s reach of the medic.

#i love them truly i do. most Duo ever #titanfall 2 #jack cooper #bt 7274 #ficlet

[blackinquisitors]

Dutch is such an interesting and compelling character. and I think a lot of people don't realize that he's the true villain of this entire game and Micah is just a red herring. Micah didn't make Dutch go crazy or anything, he just told him what he wanted to hear and allowed him to do all the insane shit he's always wanted to do. bc previously, Dutch had Hosea and Arthur as his moral compass telling him "no Dutch you can't kill people" and I think Dutch started preaching that as well bc it goes along w his desire to the smartest, most moral man in the room. but that wasn't really him. then Micah joins and tells him "yeah Dutch maybe we should kill people maybe they deserve it maybe we're stronger than them" and it opens the door for Dutch to lose that facade he's been mastering all these years, and that comes out in blackwater

then Arthur and Hosea start doubting Dutch, start criticising him, but Micah is still there telling him everything is fine and he's doing a wonderful job. and Dutch loves that because he needs to be the big man in charge and he does NOT tolerate feeling stupid or weak or wrong. so he stops listening to Arthur (if he ever did in the first place, judging by how jaded Arthur is and how easily he kowtows to dutchs guilt trips, I'll say no) and half listens to Hosea. then Hosea dies and Arthur criticises him more, and Dutch truly reveals his colors

what tipped me off on his character the most was how he treats women. miss grimshaw was his girl, and now she's older and the matriarch of the gang, but I think all her stuff abt how vanity fades and how she's hideous etc is partially bc of how Dutch cast her aside. Molly says "am I getting too old for you? thats usually how it works with you isn't it?" which is what made me think that. Molly is also in her mid twenties whole Dutch is 44, and she left her life in Ireland bc she loved him while he only wanted her as a thing to fuck. then he started chatting up Marybeth who, if I had to guess, is about 20-22. quite literally old enough to be her father. so he's a dirty old man on top of all of this.

and also hes a closet racist since his grand plan was to paint a target on the wapiti tribes back despite the chief asking him to leave them alone. meaning he didn't give a shit if that whole tribe was massacred (which would have been the punishment for all the shit he made them do) as long as he and his loyal followers escaped. despite all his pro native talk, about how the Europeans are the true savages, how they destroyed this land, he still participates in that genocide gleefully.

he's nothing but a greedy, selfish megalomaniac but he's a damn good showman and that's how he's gotten everyone wrapped around his fingers. saved them, cared for them when no one else has. typical gang emotional manipulation, but also with cult elements like the requirement for faith in their way of life, the set of beliefs Dutch has constructed from the miller books. there's really nothing redeemable abt his character bc all the good bits were just acting, or they were something to hide how truly rotten he is

ofc it's nice to imagine Dutch as being the dashing rogue, father to everyone in the gang with Hosea his best friend at his side. but that's exactly what he wants you to see him as. and a lot of people don't look past that, so they do believe he went crazy bc of Micah or grief from losing hosea, or got a brain injury, or some other thing. but even Arthur says that he just became more of himself, the self he hid all these years

#long post #meta #dutch van der linde #SUCH a well written villain its crazy

[mysticaldeanvoidhorse]

A Chance at Love

Part 3

Jensen x Reader

Summary:

Having been legal guardian to your niece for almost a year, you land a job on the set of Supernatural.  You become good friends with Jared, doing his makeup everyday but when Jensen gets back from a small break, are you able to stick to your oath to keep your heart closed?

Tag list: @streets-in-paradise @nancymcl @lyarr24 @hobby27 @tristanrosspada-ackles

tag list open :)

Masterlist

page breakers curtesy of @firefly-graphics​

“So sorry I am late!”  You called to Carol, as you quickly set your stuff down in the trailer the next morning.

“Drop off was a nightmare.”  You explained.

“No problem, Jared won’t come for five more minutes so all is well.”  You were thankful for how understanding she was.

“Good morning Carol!”  A big man walked into the trailer.  You weren’t sure he would fit.

“Good morning Jared!”  She gave the man a hug.  “Meet our new recruit, Y/N”  She introduced you.

“Nice to meet you, I heard you were coming.”  He smiled at you and shook your hand.

“Thank you, it's nice to meet you as well.”  You replied.  

“Carol had said you have a little girl?”  He continued, as he sat in your chair, and you grabbed your materials.  You knew what scenes were being filmed so you knew what makeup he needed.

“Yes, her name is Morgan and she is the sweetest 4 year old ever.  I say that with complete bias and complete honesty.”  You laughed.  He let out a big laugh as well.

“I am sure.  I don’t have any kids, but I want a few.”

“His girlfriend used to be on the show until he killed her,” Carol explained, and winked at him.

“It definitely makes dinners awkward,”  He joked.

“I am sure!”  You laughed.   “I have to be honest, I am not caught up yet, I stopped after season 3.  Last year was…hard.”  You said.  You hoped you hid your frown but Carol gave you a sympathetic look.

“But she is catching up and regardless will be helpful for season 5!”  Carol said.  It had just started filming and you were thankful to not come in halfway through filming. It was easier to get started in the beginning before the craziness began.

“I can’t believe we are starting season 5, we didn’t think we would get this far.”  Jared mused.

“It’s probably why Jensen isn’t here, he didn’t know to come back”  Carol mused.  Jared let out another big laugh.  You weren’t convinced he knew how to do anything small.

“No kidding.  But he is taking a few more days to be with his parents since he doesn’t need to start filming until Friday.”  Jared explained.

“And how are you doing without your other half?”  Carol asked, faking concern.

“It’s terrible really. So selfish to spend time with his parents and not me”  He pretended to be hurt.

“I take it you are very close”  You said.

“Joined at the hip practically.  They bonded very early.  Which is why the chemistry of the show is so good for one”  Carol said.

“He is practically my brother.  You will love him when you meet him.  He is really great”  Jared said.

“Can’t wait”  You said, and you were more surprised you meant it.  So much for planning to keep your head down.  But Carol was right, it felt like a family here already.

#a chance at love #supernatural #Supernatural show #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic series #supernatural writing #Jensen Ackles #Jensen x You #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x y/n #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen x reader insert #jensen x reader #jensen fanfic

[papermonkeyism]

For the new year, I wish I'll get to hang out with people again.

This past year has been, frankly, pretty miserable, specially since early summer-ish when my DnD group went on a months long break. Wasn't the first one, nor the last one, but definetely the worst one. Don't really have other friends locally, aside from one old school mate.

Honestly it's been pretty bad ever since the start of the pandemic when we stopped hanging out outside of DnD sessions and my fave coffee places closed down along with couple of my fave restaurants, and I just... Stopped having a social life, but now it's so much worse. As said, I have one (1) friend outside of the group I sometimes go shopping with, and one of my DnD buddies hangs out with me maybe once a week to borrow my laundry machine for couple hours, and they are probably the only reasons I haven't broken completely so far.

But neither of them are storytelling people the same way I am, so I'm kinda holding back when we hang out, as I can't really go all in with my special interests on them.

Downsides of being socially awkward introvert.

The summer break from roleplaying was a trigger for anxiety and maybe the worst creative block of my life so far. As someone who basically thinks with a sketchbook it was pretty fucking stressful not being able to draw anything for several months!

I crave creation and storytelling, but my brain is made of goo. Like imagine if someone came and asked you to pick a water from a pool and hand it to them? But it's liquid! Can I get a cup or something, but they just scoff. You got hands, right, just pick one up and hand it over. So I'm just left trying to scoop handfuls of wet and grabbing nothing. Kinda how it feels.

Started marathoning Crit Role to distract myself from the worst of it and to have at least some kind of creative energy in my life, and consumed what must be over half a thousand hours of role playing. At least that was fun!

And when nights started stretching and seasonal depression started to creep into my already not-doing-good brain I started my routine of evening walks because at some point I was legitimately going stir crazy enough to explode otherwise.

It's also been my first full year of joblessness in a long while. I was already having hard time by the end of last year, because my brain has difficulty handling full time jobs for long stretches of time, and ten months in a row not being able to recharge was starting to weight on me, so I had made a plan to get my brain sorted out with the ADHD diagnosis and hopefully medication before applying for jobs again, but turns out the process took the entire year, and then some, and I still don't have the meds yet. I have been given the thumbs up on them, but turns out me stressing for the better part of a year has triggered blood pressure problems (runs in my family, so honestly probably just a matter of time, but it's still very inconvenient to happen right now), so I have to sort that out first before it's safe to try stimulant medication.

And then there was the death in the family and a close friend's cancer diagnosis (fingers crossed!) and I just haven't had a great time, you know.

January's going to go into medical stuff in the hope of getting the ADHD meds, so maybe I could one day grab those thoughts again. The unemployment office is also pestering me again, so we'll see how that'll go.

I think I'll see if I can make myself a regular at the new cat cafe in town. Cats make everything better. Also looking forwards to actualizing a tattoo plan or two! Springtime is coming too, eager to continue my evening walk routine with returning sunlight. And I really, really, really need to create something again.

So here's for what I sincerely hope to be a better year than this past one! Cheers.

#shut up paper

[spacedhead]

HOMESTUCK REREAD #17: END OF HOMESTUCK (act 6 act 6 act 6 and act 7)

this is it!!!!!! this is the end of homestuck!!!

the song setting the scene for all of these battles that are about to take place concurrently is called creata, and it has leitmotifs from MANY songs in homestuck, as do all of the songs in this 18 minute sequence! also check out this fortnite squad....

the second song is called oppa toby style... oh man this is gonna be sick.

GOD LOOK HOW STRONG SHE IS SHES BEATING UP FOUR OF THEM EFFORTLESSLY

roxy my son is fighting so hard actual goat of this section btw no cap you will see later

of course this part is.... not as important but still certainly something i suppose.. karkat and jake are giving it their all as the weakest members of the squad

here come the striders and terezi!!! they are about to mix the shit out of these jacks

side note but not really its kind of crazy how owned dirk gets in this fight he dies like three different times and is saved by dave terezi and jane a bunch . talk about an unlucky break

meanwhile jade is struggling with her dog friends/ enemies and caliborn is fighting his denizen yaldabaoth ( wrdgaf). also vriska is fighting hussie? (WRDGAFX2)

okay so caliborn beat his denizens ass. so called strongest denizen is weaker than caliborn who was beaten by john fucking egbert.

anyway the current song is eternity served cold but only the second half.. its very good. variation on johns theme for a bit, then into lord english theme.

ive always loved this shot

davepeta makes an undertale reference.... which i guess was topical at the time. my undertale phase is long gone though. so . cool reference anyway !

last song. heir of grief is starting. VERY good song. love this shit!!! pic of one of the squads... theyre getting roughed up

oh my god... the four original kids and the pictures of their houses from the beginning of the story really reminds me how far they have come... ive been reading this shit only for a few weeks but man it feels like it really has been such a long time since things were that simple.

cool ass shot of these guys

oh no!!! theyre getting fucked UP dude shes beating their ass... but who is that back there...?

to be honest. i am not sure what jade was trying to accomplish in this sequence. she seems to just be teleporting her and the dogs around.... like to get them to stop fighting maybe? idrk but either way they kinda just fight anyway. or at least PM does

i think this moment of dave chopping dirks head off is not really significant for dave as much as it is for dirk. he finally relinquished control for once!

anyway, PM FINALLY gets jacks ring off, and now he is no longer a threat. its been so long. wow . goat much?

roxy being the one to finish the condesce is deserved. great job. my goat. props to all of these crazy kids they fucking did it they won!!! holy shit good fuckin job!! but we arent quite done yet.

this is beautiful art that is the rest of the comic basically until act 7. i just love these panels so much. one of them has actually been my background for about a year and a half!

its this one . i really love this one it shows so many of my children look at them all god im so proud of them they did it.... YES!!!! i knew this would happen but im still so happy for them.

look!!! the mayor and pm reunited once again. its been since before cascade since they saw each other last! and serenity too!!

this one is a real standout as well... so good i love all of them. am i repeating myself? surely not.

:))))

it is time for act 7. the finale of homestuck, essentially. it has been a long and winding road.... only a little left to go :)

LOOK AT JOGN EGBERT I WANT HIM TOBE HAPYP FOR ALL ETERNAL

a lot of this animation shows the new universe being formed, like the tadpole turning into the frog and stuff. it is very cool, and visually stunning to be honest, but i like to focus more on the characters with my limited images per post. but trust me, act 7 is very beautiful the whole way through :D

LOOK AT MY CHILDREN IN STUNNING HD QUALITY

THE LOT OF THEM. I SIRED THEM ALL? INCREDIBLE

do you see how fucking beautiful these kids are and how much they mean to me. i would do anything for them

holy shit vriska is serving like crazy here. i mean they all are but... okayyy vriska

look at these two. leaders of their sessions. coming together. finishing. it all makes me tear up a little i wont lie. also this music called overture is fucking beautiful.

oh man okay yeah. i am really misty eyed here. this never happened before?? god i fucking love this story

IM GONNA START CRYING DUDE FUCK

well here it is. first view of the idyllic earth c. they did it. they won . they created their universe and they got to live in it

heres one last squad shot of them all being goated and fucking awesome maybe? ever think of that

it started with him and ended with him. my son john egbert i love you so much

okay. its actually over. it feels weird to say but i have indeed completed homestuck yet again. this time was maybe my favorite reading of it other than probably the first time. maybe it was cause of the blogging it? i did genuinely love blogging my thoughts about it. even if no one is paying too much attention, its cool to get it out there :D

overall thoughts? the first part is a little slow to get going, but once it does get going, it's so fun and just a blast to read. things are incredible up until right after cascade where it slows down a lot. which i get. introducing a ton of new characters and essentially a new main villain into the plot can be a lot. i would say that the first half of act 6 is like... a definite decrease in quality? but it starts picking up again when they actually arrive in the new session. and me personally, ive always loved the ending. i know some people were like oh they just win and their plan goes smoothly. like, yeah i get that, but also things did NOT go smoothly when game over happened, and that was definitely the everything goes wrong moment. everything after that is cool and fun and very entertaining to read. i just love this story guys i love it so much there is a reason why it is my favorite piece of fiction and why i constantly come back to it . it is just so good i love the characters i love the concepts the plot is sprawling and self referential and just plain cool . of course it has flaws, namely its villains are a little weak. sometimes i love villains who are just plain evil but sometimes in a story like this i may have preferred a villain who has a little more motive than just being evil and wanting to destroy and kill things... but its alright. the heroes were the main focus anyway, so its not like it ruins the story or anything. i think homestuck goes from an ironic shit post story that makes you feel like an ass for reading it to a heartfelt tale of empathy and self improvement and self actualization. its characters go from asshole kids to pretty good adults. and you can see the writing grow up too. its honestly great and if you know me you probably already know lots of bits and pieces about it and/or i made you read it. but if you dont you should give it a shot. it has NOT aged well i will say but if you can manage to ignore the usage of slurs and probably other bad things i can honestly say it ends as a story about growth and acceptance of the self and others. that is all.......

thanks for reading this to all my friends i had tons of fun

p.s

im reading the epilogues. FUCK

#joff hs reread #my children will win this war #they deserve to win #i love them all #im so proud of them #should i wait until 413 am to post this #i might as well

[makemeanangelpure]

March 22, 2024- again.. I’m chicken shit to weigh because I know there’s no progress.

I have to start somewhere.

I threw up this morning because I ate again after throwing up last night, so drunk, I just ate with the full intention of purging after because I knew my partner was passed out. I’m hungry now obviously because I threw up again, and I’ve had 4 saltines, a green monster and bread and butter pickle juice. I want to eat to make the feeling go away, but I’d feel like a fatass for eating. I made them macaroni and grilled chicken from the freezer because they’re hungover today and that’s what they wanted so I scooped a ton into their bowl, and just now put the rest in a tuba-ware. I smelt it like 4 times, made myself think I didn’t want it but typing about it, thinking about it I want to go over there so bad and just eat it cold. They kept putting their hands under my shirt to warm their hands and eventually I had to say “ please don’t touch my stomach right now.” Which lets them know where my brain’s at even though I already assured them I was fine today. I know if I eat that, I’ll want to throw up again and won’t be able to, so it’ll be better to be hungry and sleep in a few hours rather than eat it, because they can eat it. Because they are off the next two days and I shouldn’t have any because it’s theirs now, I made it for them.. and I ate all the croissants this morning and purged like a moron. I feel so guilty.. I love been drawing since I cooked, trying to organize an old playlist and distract my brain, finish my monster, I tried to go over and kiss them while I was cooking and be affectionate.. but I’ve been very introverted today since they’ve been home.. they said they missed me and I got slightly annoyed because I’ve literally been over here for an hour just doing my thing- one night we haven’t watched something on tv together and suddenly you need attention when you said if I need time, I need time.. I don’t know and I put away my stuff like I was gonna go sit with them and stop drawing and now she’s asleep. Which they need to be to rest from the hangover.. god dammit I still want to eat it. Kill me I hate the way the saliva builds in my mouth.. I hate being a binger.. it’s being weak. It’s being fucking weak.. and tomorrow we’re supposed to go to this cafe with board games and I already don’t really want to go because I want to wear clothes but I don’t look the way i want in them and over half my closet doesn’t fit.. I can’t wear bras or panties or skirts or shorts or certain shirts without being reminded of how fat I got. They want to invite friends and I said no so fast because 5 years later and I’m still not seeing my friends because I’m trying to lose a crazy amount of weight first. And I keep thinking I should just eat today to give myself something to go off of.. start tomorrow.. I’ll have coffee.. I WONT order anything to eat at the cafe.. I can’t I don’t have money.. I’ll appreciate a coffee.. that’s what I get.. FUCK AM I EATING IT..

I ate it.. I hate it.. half way I wanted to be done but I’d put Cajun and pepper all over it and they eat it if I do that . So I also ate all of the lemon bread they got me and left one so they can have it.. and of course I’m full and feel sick and gross and horrible and god bad shivers.. so nervous the whole time they’re gonna wake up on the couch and they just did for a second while I’m eating bread..

I’ll get something tomorrow that keeps me under 42 for the day.. and for dinner I’ll have 2 cucumber slices and plain tea. Fuck.. it’s so hard to pick something a cappuccino or a latte are both gonna be about 100-150 as well as a cold brew.. I could just have a cup black and bring my own zero sugar sweetener and have pumpkin flavour like that.. might do that.. then I could have milk in my tea or something or maybe there’s creamer singles I can grab in there hell I don’t know.. anyway fasts started wooo

Staying under 50 cal I’m sitting for 44 hours should be easy especially with these first two days being 42’s.. and I can do it.. I’d rather drink slightly more bitter coffee and keep under my limit than have foam and OR OR OR I could do my fix it fast out of order and do a 442 tomorrow

ALRIGHT and I work 4 days coming up,, so in accordance hereS how it’ll be ( moons for work days )

Sat: 442

Sun: 742

🌙Mon: 42

🌙Tues: 42

🌙Wed:42

Thurs: 742

Fri: 742

🌙Sat: 42

Sun: 742:

Mon: 42

Tues: 42

Wed: 42

Okay after next Sunday I don’t know yet if I work on mon or Tuesday but either way it doesn’t matter cause work days would be 42 and ITS PERFECT TO END THE fix it fast because will be burning so much fat on 4 days at 42 cal.. ughhahahahajaajaj

Okay okay.. this will be good.. tomorrow rises a skinny bitch and soon my body will show for it.. especially after this.. I don’t know.. guess it makes sense to try and aim for losing 7 pounds soo assuming I’m 113, goal is 106 on April 4. 113 is probably where I’m at since after purging I’m weight 115 ish.. and a day or two of fasting would put me at a more accurate 113.. alright 106 in 12 days. And 12 is soul’s number… it’s PERFECT. I’m doing closing shifts so that’s perfect too. I work right through dinner, and I can come come and make it a ritual to have green tea or the peppermint one.. I’ll write down my stretches and mini workouts to do.. maybe on my off days I’ll wake up steadily earlier and earlier.. and go on morning walks for 42 minutes.. ah I’m excited! This will be good. I can do this.

Oh my god I estimated and by his birthday June first by keeping all this up and togther I’ll be 93.. 1 pound below my old low weight.. after all this time.. and for his birthday! PROGRESS progress and by my birthday I’ll be 87 a pound under my old UGW before it dropped to 84 and 84 I’ll hit a week before July ends!.. I’ll be getting so skinny through spring.. and spend the beginning of summer, going from 89-84 pounds.. good god.. I have to do it. I don’t care. I don’t care. I’m ready to be toned and strong again. I’ll put in the work on my own to strengthen my core, and being consistent with work will help with that too. I’m going to be able to pay for things and make it everyday without b/p because I’m above that. I’m an Angel, I’m going to make my partner the best death weapon.. 3 months and a half we’ll have victory. I have to be strong, pure and sound, if we’re going to be the best we can be. By example it’ll inspire soul to work harder too. Match wavelengths. My hair will be back longer again too.. by end July it should be back down to my collarbone.. which means my hair should be long enough for pigtails again! I’ve missed them so much!

#ed vent

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Can I request a Shane and Molly holiday sickfic where they’re trying to celebrate but then they both get sick?

Words: 1367

Title: We'll Share A Cup Of Kindness Yet

Hey hi hello anon and thanks for the request. This suited my current, continued need for small drabble prompts perfectly, and as soon as I read this cute post by @sickromancer, I immediately thought of my favorite medical couple and this prompt, and here we are. Glad I could get this out before the end of the official holiday season. Sorry if you guys are sick of Christmas stuff. That was the holiday that worked best with my vision for this. This may not quite be what you asked for in the prompt, but I think it speaks to the intention anyway. I wrote this in like an hour and it’s barely proofread, so forgive any errors, and also forgive the ending since I couldn’t figure out where to stop it. It is also so sappy and sickly sweet, but that’s all I ever want to write for Shmolly. So warning for that I guess lol. 

This house party was standing room only, so everyone was forced into a perpetual state of milling around, snacking and small talking. Events like this were Molly’s worst nightmare, and it was so full here that there was no hope of finding a corner in which to hide even for a little bit. To make matters worse, Molly was also sick. It had been coming on for a few days, but only those who knew her best had been able to tell until recently. It had progressed to being visible to the rest of the world less than eight hours ago, and the timing of this fancy Christmas party couldn’t be worse in that regard. 

Sarah, Molly’s best work friend, lingered near the dark-haired woman, ready to swoop in and intervene if Molly started to get that uncomfortable, panicky look her friend knew all too well. Sarah was only here because Molly had asked her to be, and Molly was only here because Shane had asked her to be. However, since Shane was busy playing the role of ‘charismatic up-and-coming young doctor’ elsewhere in the house, someone had to keep an eye on Molly and keep her from going crazy. Molly was fine for now, though, chatting with the hostess about books. In fact Sarah wished someone would swoop in and save her instead. With nothing better to do, she listened idly to Molly’s conversation, nibbling the food from her tiny plate.

“I’ve actually been on a classics kick lately, reading and rereading those books from those ‘Books You Need to Read Before You Die’ lists. I just read The Alchemist for the first time and found it really interesting,” Molly was saying happily, though Sarah heard her audibly sniffling. “I really loved– sorry, just a moment…” Molly turned away awkwardly, dabbing at her nose and giving a half-hearted blow in an attempt to do damage control while doing her best not to spoil her makeup. “Sorry, I think I’m coming down with something. Me and the rest of the world, right? Just in time for Christmas.”

The hostess laughed merrily. “Jim just got over a cold a day or two ago too. It’s that time of year unfortunately, and health care workers take the brunt of it. But back to the classics, I also loved the Alchemist. Such a simple story, yet he managed to impart so much depth and meaning.”

Sarah sighed, tuning out again. Molly was clearly settling in for a long chat, rhinovirus and all. Good for her. It was dull to listen to people talk about books you’ve never read, however. By now her plate was empty, so Sarah began to maneuver her way back to the kitchen for something else to snack on, and maybe some punch. 

In the kitchen, she ran into none other than Shane, almost literally. He was standing in the doorway, talking loudly to some other young doctors, all of them holding cocktails. Shane of course had the floor, and Sarah didn’t have time to catch what he was talking about before he paused suddenly, then lurched forward into a muffled sneeze, crushed into the napkin he was holding. He sprang up as the others chuckled, scrubbing at his nose.

“... and I have a fucking cold,” he groaned, clearly playing up his misery for the laughs. Sarah couldn’t help but laugh too, slipping past them on her way to the punch bowl. So that’s where Molly had caught her cold. Or had it been the other way around? That was one of the few benefits of being single, Sarah thought to herself as she loaded up another tiny plate. At least there wasn’t anyone to swap germs with constantly. 

~~~

The party had ended, they had dropped Sarah off at her apartment, and Shane and Molly had made their way back to the condo. Shane had gone immediately to the bedroom to remove his tie and stiff shirt and shoes. He expected Molly to be right behind him, but when he had fully changed into pajamas and she still hadn’t joined him, he went in search of her. 

His lovely wife hadn’t made it out of the living room and was instead sitting on the arm of the couch, staring at the Christmas tree, the twinkling lights illuminating the otherwise dark room, sparkling and shimmering off of everything, especially her glittery red dress. It was a breathtaking sight, and Shane had to be a part of it. He padded to her side and looped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his embrace willingly, though she didn’t take her eyes off the tree. 

“Whatcha thinkin’, love?” he murmured, his lips brushing her hair. 

“I’m thinking that I’m actually starting to like holidays again thanks to you,” she said, her voice almost as hoarse and gravelly as his. She turned to look at him with a tired-eyed smile, the dim light somehow accenting her red, chapped nose, which also matched what he had seen in the mirror. “I’m thinking I love string lights. We should put them up year round. And I’m thinking I really, really hate colds.”

How could she say so much in so few words? Shane could only marvel at her, unsure whether to laugh or cry. He settled for a soft chuckle, but the sound caught in his throat and became a cough instead, which somehow covered both bases nicely. “Yes to the year round string lights. And I’m sorry I gave you my cold.” In a fluid motion, he pulled her onto his lap and took her place on the couch arm, wrapping his arms around her securely. “And I’m honored that I get to spend the rest of my life helping you like holidays again. It’s a responsibility I will never take for granted.” 

The last part was whispered into her ear as she nuzzled her cheek against his. They remained just like that for a long time, their breathing in sync, letting the peace of the moment wash over them. 

However, eventually their shared cold demanded attention once more. Shane freed one of his arms to dig in his pocket for a tissue, pressing it to his nose just in time to stifle a sneezing fit, taking great care to avoid sneezing directly on the woman in his lap. 

“Bless you, hon,” Molly murmured once he was finished, kissing his cheek. 

“Thanks,” he sniffled, scrubbing the back of his hand under his nose since the tissue was now useless. “I hope we didn’t pass this along to anyone at the party.”

“I hope so too,” Molly sighed. “It just figures. This is the first time I’ve gone to a Christmas party in years, and I have a cold, which I probably ended up giving to the hospital CFO’s wife.”

“If you did it won’t set in for a few days, meaning she won’t be sick for Christmas. Unlike us.” He checked his watch. “Speaking of which… Merry Christmas, baby.” 

“Merry Christmas.” They shared a tender kiss. 

When they broke apart, Molly was smiling mischievously. “Whatever Christmas present you got me better be pretty damn good to make up for this awful gift you already gave me,”

“First of all, I always get you amazing presents. So yes, your Christmas present is pretty damn good. But secondly, you knew I was getting sick a few days ago and you still kept kissing me like you always do. I think that means the blame falls totally on you. And this gift isn’t all bad anyway. We get to cancel all the plans we want to for the next few days and stay home in our pajamas. Sounds pretty good to me.”

“You know what… you make a good point.” Molly dug out her own tissue just then, wiping and blowing her nose thoroughly. “I miss being able to breathe through my nose, though.”

“Me too. Maybe Christmas hot chocolate will help.”

“Hot chocolate always helps. And I can’t think of a better way to spend the midnight between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It's very Auld Lang Syne.” 

“All for you, my dear,” Shane murmured, brushing his lips over her ear once more. 

#my ocs #shmolly ocs #answered asks #prompt fill #sickfic #tooth rotting fluff #holiday sickfic #idk why I can't do long form right now but whatever #I'll keep writing drabbles as long as I have prompts for them #kinda love how this came out especially with how little time it took #but then again I always love shmolly stuff #ask box story

[starlitmark]

Pairing: The Boyz x fem!reader (platonic) Genre: fluff Rating: PG

Summary: Moving in with your group mates isn’t easy, but it can’t be the worst thing either. Warnings: use of Korean honorifics, platonic pet names, cuddling Word Count: 1,824

Series Masterlist || prev: first meetings ପ next: between us

Today’s the day. You’re moving into the dorm with the others today. It’s only been a week since everyone was told what was happening, and it doesn’t feel real. At least, not until you have Kevin ringing the doorbell for the female trainee dorms at seven am. Most of the other girls are already up and out at their training for the day. The few that are around are either getting ready or relaxing while they can. You trudge toward the front door, already knowing it’s him. Even half awake, you can remember Kevin enthusing about helping move your stuff into their dorm. You’re scooped up into a pair of arms when you open the door.

“Good morning, squish!” you hear Kevin beam.

You giggle and hug him back, “Good morning Keb.”

“I brought an extra pair of hands.” he adds, placing you down and gesturing behind him.

You smile softly and move to let both boys come inside. Then, when they’re inside, you feel it’s due time to greet the other boy.

“Good morning, Juju,” you smile brightly, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

“Good morning, angel.” he giggles back, reciprocating the hug, “So how much stuff do we need to move out of here?”

You shrug at him. There is a good amount if you’re honest. You don’t think it’s an excessive amount to move, considering it’s a room of belongings. You hear one of the younger girls giggling from the kitchen. She’s younger than you by a few years and has recently entered the full-fledged boy-crazy stage of her teen years. You know she’s looking at Juyeon and past you. You look over your shoulder at her, and she doesn’t even acknowledge you. Instead, she continues eyeing up your friend. You’re still wrapped up in Juyeon’s arms, but you let out a sigh before releasing him from your hold.

“This way!” you smile brightly, “Please ignore any of the girls. Some aren’t mature enough to handle being around boys and act like normal people.”  you raise your voice slightly to call the younger girl out.

You hear Kevin giggle slightly at your petty action. Juyeon tries not to react. You know he wants to let out a similar sound to Kevin’s reaction, though. Navigating your way to your room wasn’t all too difficult. You knew your former roommate was already out and training for the day. That was the least of your concerns, though. The most pertinent worry was getting everything out within the provided timeframe. The company didn’t give you very long to get your stuff out of the trainee dorm and into the group dorm. You can’t help but feel a small bubble of anxiety settle in your stomach. Jaehyun’s words are still ringing in your head. He seems to have been treating you even worse since that staff member announced you were moving in. You shake your head to avoid the thought before stopping in front of your bedroom door.

“My roommate is already gone, so getting everything out of here shouldn’t be too difficult. She helped me box most things up already.” you smile at the two boys.

Kevin hums, “How much still needs to be boxed?”

“Just some of my clothes, nothing serious or time-consuming.”

Pushing the door open, it feels almost surreal to have everything you own boxed up and ready to go. You step in first, motioning for Kevin and Juyeon to join you. They take a moment to observe the space before seeing Juyeon approach one of the boxes. It’s the one that has the majority of your technology and its accessories. On the other hand, Kevin quickly identifies your bed and flops down on it. He comments about your mattress’s discomfort; he’s not wrong. That thing was always so uncomfortable. You chat for a little, getting slightly off track with what you’re meant to be doing. After a few minutes, Juyeon glances at his phone and sighs dramatically.

“We really should get this stuff downstairs to our dorm.”

You nod, “I’m just glad it’s just downstairs a few floors rather than a different complex.”

You pat Kevin’s shoulder, gesturing for him to start moving things with Juyeon. They nod and take a box before heading out of your room. You peacefully fold clothing and have brief conversations with the boys when they return for more boxes.

After about two or three trips, Kevin stumbles through your doorway, laughing too hard to walk straight. You are closing the last box of your clothes when he comes in; you give him a puzzled look. Then Juyeon comes behind him with a confused expression. You try to read Juyeon’s body language to get clues about what happened.

“Please,” Kevin starts, gasping to catch his breath, “tell her what just happened.”

“Ju, what’s he on about?”

“I-” he stops himself, “She-” he’s still severely perplexed.

“That girl hanging out in the kitchen just slipped him her number.” Kevin cackles.

Of course, she did. You aren’t sure if it’s the same trainee from earlier or if it’s one of the others, but you still sigh, a laugh slightly invading it. Kevin seems to think it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. Judging from Juyeon’s (still) stunned state, the taller hasn’t processed it yet. You decided to leave the room to figure out which girl it was. It doesn’t take you long to realize who it is. She seems proud of herself for what she did. Honestly, you can’t blame her for being attracted to your friend. You won’t deny that he’s attractive. When she takes notice of your presence, she smiles brightly at you.

“That Oppa is really handsome.” she giggles, “You’re really moving in with them?”

“Yeah, I’m in their group meant to debut later this year.”

“Oh my god!” she exclaims, “Imagine living with a bunch of handsome boys.” her tone going dreamy at the end.

“Jihan, you realize we’re five years older than you, right? Juyeon, nineteen, you’re not even thirteen yet…”

“I turn thirteen in a few months!” she argues back.

“You’re just proving my point, kid.” you tease playfully.

You shake your head and return to your room. When you return, your giggles turn into full-blown laughter. Juyeon has returned to a neutral state and chatting with Kevin. They give you confused expressions. You hold your hand up, telling them to give you a moment to calm down.

“Ju, do you want to guess how old Jihan is?” you still giggle slightly

“I don’t think I want to know from that question alone.”

“Oh, don’t be so scared, Juyeon!” Kevin pokes.

“How old?” he asks tentatively.

“Well, she’ll turn thirteen in July.” you giggle, “You just got hit on by a literal child.”

Juyeon looks like he just saw a ghost. Kevin busts out in laughter again. You think he might cramp up if he laughs much longer. You manage to calm down, and so does Kevin, not much later. You don’t dwell on the topic much longer. You grab one of the smaller boxes and gesture for them to grab a box too.

“We should be the last trip. I didn’t realize how little I had until you guys started moving things. Sorry I didn’t help much with moving things.”

“It’s not a big deal, angel.” Juyeon assures with a sweet smile, “Like you said, you don’t have a lot of stuff.”

Kevin shares the sentiment and jerks his head towards the door, “Let’s get you officially moved out of here.”

Moving out of this dorm feels so surreal, especially since you hadn’t lived here that long. You bid Jihan goodbye; she’s the only one home, after all. Then, standing in the elevator with your two friends, everything hits you like a ton of bricks. You would debut in a group of boys; you would be living with these twelve boys too. When you get to the door of your new shared apartment you let out a shaky breath. Kevin nudges you to get you to relax slightly.

Juyeon balances his box on one arm while punching in the code to the door. When you enter, you’re first greeted with an enormous rack of shoes. You really should’ve expected that, considering some of the boys own more shoes than they know what to do with. Then just past the entryway were the living room and dining area. They were modest but spacious enough for everyone to be comfortable in the space together. Kevin and Juyeon lead the way to where your new room is. It’s the first room on the right side of the hallway. Some of the other bedroom doors are open. You can see Haknyeon still dead asleep in his bed in the room across from yours. Others are tightly shut; it’s early enough in the morning that some of them could still be just as deeply asleep as Haknyeon is.

You push your door open, having been just slightly cracked open. You can already see where you’ll be sleeping. There’s a bunk bed on one side of the room, and directly across from it is a single twin bed. Both Changmin and Jaehyun have the bunks claimed. You place your box down with the others the boys brought for you. Both boys let you know they’re either returning to their rooms or eating something before practice. You acknowledge what they say and turn back to your boxes. Quickly finding your sheets, you decide it’s best to make your bed sooner rather than later.

Once you’re settled, you opt to just lay on your new bed for a little while, and get comfortable. That doesn’t last long, though. The door pops open, making you jump slightly. Before you know it, Changmin bounces on top of you with an excited giggle.

“Welcome home, roomie!” he beams, “I didn’t think you’d be moved in already, but here you are! How do you feel about all of this?”

“It’s kinda crazy, honestly.” you admit, “Not in a bad way, I feel pretty comfortable for the most part.”

“For the most part?” he questions, rolling over to lie next to you.

“Jaehyun,” you sigh, “I’m still really worried about rooming with him. Sangyeon still scares me, but at least he isn’t extremely mean to me like Jae is.”

“He’ll warm up to you, bug, I promise.”

“That’s what everyone’s been telling me, but Jaehyun is just- I don’t know.”

Changmin sighs, “How about this? Let’s just relax a little before rehearsal and worry about Jae later.”

You nod and shift around, getting more comfortable. You had expected your roommate to get up and hang out in the desk chair by the door or lie in his bed. Instead, he decides to cuddle up with you, and you quickly discover that Changmin is an excellent cuddle buddy. Perhaps living with them won’t be as traumatic as you had expected it to be.

COPYRIGHT STARLITMARK 2023© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — reposting/modifying any fic or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations are not permitted. 

Networks: @kwritersworld @k-vanity @kdiarynet​

Tag List: @brattybunfornct​ @jaehunnyy​ @spiderrenjunfics​ @umbralhelwolf​ @ericssmile​ @honeyhuii​

#kdiarynet #kvanity #kwritersworldnet #the boyz fanfic #the boyz x reader #the boyz female member #the boyz fluff

[golbrocklovely]

since i was asked so nicely by a lovely anon...

here’s the first half of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan. 1 - being stuck in an elevator with 15 of your friends is the best way to start 2020

i kissed my hand this new years

ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

Jan. 2 - thank you all i love you all

Jan. 7 - weird to think that about a year ago i was sitting in a cell in FL.. time flies

Jan. 11 - lmao i love you guys you get me

Jan. 13 - only fools rush in

Jan. 15 - you took the sun with you when you left -RK

the back of my mind has a constant itch for you

Jan. 16 - happy jail anniversary @/SamGolbach thanks for bailing me out

Jan. 19 - i promise you i’ll never act my age

Jan. 20 - real talk. should sam and i go on tour 2020?

(this makes really sad…)

Jan. 23 - there was an old man who kept coming to the 13th floor around 3am where our room was last night. i don’t like miami anymore i’m headed to orlando

Jan. 31 - looking for that deep connection with someone i'm tired of the superficial shit

Feb. 2 - IM DRUNK AT 3PM LETS GOOO CHIEFSSS

Feb. 4 - my couch is like a bed i could stay here forever

@/BigNik: Nobody cares about my well being but that’s ok

Feb. 5 - you should rap about this real shit bro that would change a lot. turn this emotion into art. i hope you know even if i’m busy i’m always still down to talk as well brother

(i don't like big nik, but this was such a sweet interaction <3)

out of curiosity , would YOU ever spend the night in Queen Marys room B340 if you could ..?

Feb. 6 - imagine if we could all go explore some crazy haunted place one day … together. 🤔 i wonder if that’s even possible

if anyone is taking high school Chemistry right now , i’m so sorry

Feb. 7 - sometimes i can’t take a joke and it’s so annoying

Feb. 8 - i really don’t like myself when i party too hard but i got the best friends in the whole world

@/badboywolfy: This is Saturday afternoon regret hours

you feel me

Feb. 10 - valentine’s day is coming up soon i think i’m gunna throw up

Feb. 12 - sometimes my mind can turn into my worst enemy

Feb. 13 - cant stop thinking about living in another big house with all my boys.. life is about to be insane

keep on fighting and i will too

Feb. 14 - to whoever left a basket of chocolates and teddy bears at my door .. i <3 u

Feb. 15 - I MISS DUBAI

Feb. 16 - shadow man is watching

Feb. 17 - my pupils make me look like i’m rolling balls CONSTANTLY

Feb. 18 - still trying to process the psychic saying i was an old soul estimated to have lived a past 21 lives .. shit messes with your head

Feb. 20 - meeting you guys never gets old

Feb. 24 - missing the nights alone on my balcony

Feb. 25 - express your creativity

(i always wonder why he tweets shit like this out of no where lol)

Feb. 27 - blue haired Colbys makin a comeback

Feb. 29 - i'm always feeling like i'm in a dream

March 3 - need to watch the sunset more

March 5 - i don’t wanna tell my story i’d rather hear yours

March 8 - if this is all we know then we might as well run with it

March 9 - who’s down to have some deep conversations i’m tired of small talk

March 11 - just had my first sleep paralysis dream .. never experienced something so terrifying

praying for the world right now

(and here we go into the pandemic stuff……… great)

March 12 - you can have the prettiest face but i still won’t f w you if the personality isn’t there

March 13 - knowing that we all know nothing

March 15 - i haven’t stocked up on food or hygiene essentials does that mean i’m going to die ? am i making the wrong move here ?

March 16 - if postmates stops delivering i’m actually fucked

random fan: Just sit on your balcony, the stars will feed you

the balcony is the answer to all my internal worries/suffering

March 17 - day 3 of no food in the quarantine, not sure how much longer i can go with just a few almonds to spare. everything is spinning slowly.. i’ve been seeing silhouettes in my room dancing gracefully on the walls, i think my mind is leaving me. would you guys be mad if i ate Sam?

March 18 - time moves on, memories never fade

March 20 - the worst thing is never the last thing

March 22 - i think the only person i can really make crack up is myself

March 24 - it’s times like this i wish i had a little dog by my side who i could call my bestest friend..

@/amberscholl: here u go (pic of george)

can i borrow him? just for a week..? .. or maybe two?

@/amberscholl: (gif saying 'you want it? come and get it')

see you tonight

March 26 - guys i’m trying to learn how to dance but it’s gunna take some time i’m too awkward

March 29 - my last night on the balcony

March 30 - where the emo girls at

(i remember this tweet causing so much chaos in the fandom. everyone claiming they were emo… absolute madness lol)

March 31 - what can i say? me and the boys got gluteus to the MAXimus

(i take it back. THAT PHOTO OF THE BOYS NAKED AND THEIR BARE ASSES?!?!?! died right then and there.)

#colby brock #cb tweets #personal #text

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

IZMS: The Social Media Experience 1

Summary:

Across a universe, various social media posts come from a group of siblings and their friends. It tells the story of a young boy and his family, a young boy who will one day become a symbol of hope. AKA: Izuku's dad sucks, he's got a lot of siblings and he likes to tease them online. ON AO3

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Why do Pro-Heroes who have Reddit don’t worry about people finding them?

SecretNoteBook

 For me it’s because I do keep a lot of stuff vague and I actually don’t talk about myself in public. You’d know me since my name is out there but most don’t connect it with my family. My dad’s worthless and his last name doesn’t match mine or most of my half-siblings. 

 It’s really surprising what changing out of your uniform does at times. People just don’t recognize you. So me sitting here behind a screen is just another version of that. I know not a lot of people believe I’m a hero but I don’t mind.

 GreenMightBoy

 It is HILARIOUS how few people realize who you are until you tell them. Remember last week?

  PolkaDotAfro

  HA! Oh god her FACE. Realizing she’s been bragging about dating YOU when you’re right there?

    SecretNotebook

     Yeah that was fun.

-0-

What made you cut your parent off?

 SecretNotebook

 I’ve been very open about this numerous times but my dad is a dick. He’s a populationist, homophobic and generally a jackass. I’m his eldest child and he’s had six/seven more with four other women after my mom. (My latest stepmother is pregnant. Me and the siblings I talk to are betting on WHEN she’s gonna divorce him.)  he dislikes me for being intersex and infertile due to it, and has never made it secret. I was raised by him since I was around four. I went between two stepmoms and then stayed with the first when he left Japan. I barely had contact with him.

 I’m a hero and he loves using that to look good. His fifth wife tried to call me up and I basically ripped apart her worldview of him. She divorced him after that and speaking to my sister and my third stepmom. I’m nice enough just to say: I don’t get along to his business partners. But my dad knew not to push after his that.

 I fully cut him off and threatened to tell his business partners everything when he cut child support in half for my brother. Why? My brother is bisexual. I actually threatened to do it unless the child support went back up anyway. He did and we haven’t spoken since. 

-

GreenMightBoy

 My dad found out I’m bisexual and he cut child support in half which threatened my place in a safe school for my Quirk status. My older brother blackmailed him, and we all cut him off. Though my sister cut him off earlier. She won’t tell us why. 

  PolkaDotAfro

  I never will.

-0-

Siblings of ProHeroes: What is the hardest part?

-

RunnerBoy

 The worry my brother may not come home one day, or I may seen his last fight on the news.

-

PurpleCatBoy

 I have an uncle who’s a hero. Every time I see him on the news I get nervous because of the fight but I also get angry since he has an extreme mutation and he gets a lot of hate due to it.

-

GreenMightBoy

 The thirsty fan girls are going to KILL ME. MY BROTHER ISNT THAT HOT. HE WEARS A MASK. YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN HIS FACE. I HAVE SEEN HIM SHOVE ICE CREAM COVERED IN HOT SAUCE INTO HIS MOUTH. HE IS NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL

 SecretNotebook

 Wow, thanks bro.

-

PandorasBox

 Whenever I see my elder brother on the news, I worry over his health, if he’s eating enough, if he’d going to get enough rest.

-

PolkaDotAfro

 If I have to stumble upon his fanmail ONE MORE TIME. I DO NOT WANNA READ THAT SHIT BRO. 

 SecretNotebook

 Stop snooping in my apartment.

-0-

Dear Redditors; what is something crazy that you actually did [Serious replies only]

PolkaDotAfro

 I ran away and joined the circus with a guy I met a month before. It’s been nine years and we’re married now.

 SecretNotebook

 You still haven’t given us the full story

  GreenMightBoy

  Tell us already!!

   BlueScars

   How about no?

-0-

Who is who in the superhero fandom

By KissMeYouFool

… on to Reddit, we have three big names. 

SecretNotebook; a proclaimed hero who is just branching out as his own hero after YEARS of being a sidekick. He often is on Reddit giving hints and tips to hero hopefuls while sharing stories of some more vague events. He is open about a lot. Along wth him we have his two siblings: PolkaDotAfro and GreenMightBoy. PolkaDotAfro is a proclaimed circus performer and is married to the Reddit user BlueScars who rarely posts but appears from time to time. GreenMightBoy is a young teen who posts analysis and also taunts his brother along with their sister…

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

This is a story for a bigger universe I have where Izuku's dad was a piece of work and he had a lot of kids. The eldest of these kids is Kamui Woods (SecretNotebook). I didn't want to do a traditional intro to this world and instead came up with this. We have OTHER siblings to, so far an OC named Hana/Hannah (PolkaDotAfro). Izuku (GreenMightBoy) thus has a vastly different upbringing. We have other characters appearing to, a lot being related to heroes in someway. Some may be easily guessed, others less so. Have fun guessing if you want! Those who want to respond as if they are commentators on the media posts in the comments are welcome. I don't plan on this being to long? It's just world building and having fun honestly. But I hope you like!

#bnha #bnha au #many siblings of izuku #izms #izuku's many siblings #izuku midoriya

[shortystoriesbybri]

Its summer 2014 and my man is in the shower, I’m in the room vibing listening to music when I hear a text come to his phone. I checked the lock screen and it’s from my best friend Chey. I assume it’s nothing but I followed my gut just because I know the dirt my man has done in the past. Trust has been an issue since DAY 1, however, being 19 in very strong lust or what I call it now at my current age of 28 years young DICKMATIZED to the fullest extreme. The text read “baby please come with us to Busch gardens” my heart sank to my ass. So, I continue to go through their text thread and it’s very choppy like he was deleting messages in between messages. At this point my heart is racing and I don’t know what else to do besides confront her. I call her immediately , He is still in the shower so I have a second to ask her wassup before I even start with him. Mind you she has been in a committed relationship With Daniel for the last 2 and a half years so im asking my self what the fuck is really going on. I get her on the phone and I waste no time at all, “ why the fuck are you calling Michael baby, and why the fuck you aint ask me to go to Busch but you asking my nigga.” Her response was girl hell naw, I know you not sitting on my phone accusing me of some dumb ass shit like that.” “I would never go there ewwww.” I raise my voice and say “that’s bullshit and we both know it, it’s something somebody not telling me.” In the heat of the moment, I hang up the phone in her ear because only guilty people start bucking when confronted or in this case a scary hoe. As soon as i hang up with her it was time to ask this nigga wassup. He claims that’s just what she call him after all these years it aint nothing aint no need to be worried , Gaslighting the fuck out of me to the point he made me feel crazy that they would ever do some shit like that behind my back. At this point Chey and I had been closer than two strippers with a routine they gotta get down pack for opening night at the PYNK for about 5 years straight. Im talking did everything together, this bitch taught me how to steal but I stopped that shit at 18. She always, well at least I thought she always had my best interest at heart but then again look at wtf kind of situation they put me in. Fuck him cause I was dumb for that nigga for about 3 years after this shit even happened. Of course both parties denied the shit because they knew exactly what they had to loose. She had a man at home and I helped this nigga Michael with everything he needed, to get to and from work. Making sure his kids were good. If they needed something I always got my ass up and made sure his bum never had a car ass was making shit happen. after the incident with the text message happened, I didn’t speak to Chey until I found out I was pregnant in April 2015. I don’t know why I even took time out of day to tell her. We swept all that phone shit under the rug after that phone call, and she was my friend again. Fastforward to about a year later we decided to get an apartment together after She and Daniel broke up. I had always lived with my mom I was 21 with a one year old and it was time to move I felt in my heart so we went ahead found a place fell in love with it and went for it. She was dealing with this new dude that I hadn’t met at all. Kicking it with him , etc starting a new relationship which was cool until lease signing day came up and I asked her If Jason was going to be moving in as well , she said hell no and laughed until her face was red. We move our stuff in and of course he stays the night and what not I don’t have any issues but two and three weeks had passed and he was there all day while were working and we are home all night while he worked. Which meant there was always a light on , internet in use, Water being used , but yet he wasn’t on the lease and It wasn’t discussed with me after I had already asked. I just needed to know if bills were being split three ways and I was told no, Jason was only going to be helping Chey with her half. I immediately got angry as fuck………….

#books #short stories #true stories #Spotify #SoundCloud

[justaredheadf1fan]

I'm saying goodbye to the one person who "drove me out of F1" when I didn't see any further

As I introduced this blog more than half a year ago, I opened up about how it was Seb being totally unchallenged for 4 consecutive seasons that "pushed" me to stop watching F1 altogether, since I had already started seeing the sport as boring, always the same race after race. I was young and foolish, yes, and I regret all of it.

I didn't know how wrong I was. What fucks me up the most is that if I'd had someone else to share my love for the sport with someone else at that time as I do now, maybe I wouldn't have missed all the cool stuff I've only seen in videos and pictures in the last months.

So, this is my little goodbye to Seb:

When you first started in Formula 1 I was 14, I was a kid, I really didn't know too much about the technical aspects or any of the other stuff surrounding the sport, but I knew that I loved it to my core.

And here came a guy in 2007 not that much older than myself, and after a few years, by the time I was 17, you started winning and winning and you won some more and you never stopped in 4 years.

It bugged me that there was no challenge you couldn't take and make it your bitch. It bugged that not a single driver could do at the time what you could. And for that unaware kid bored with repetition who had absolutely no patience for how slow changes came, it was off-putting. Plus, I didn't really like you that much at the time, you were a cunt I thought, but with time I've ended up appreciating that part of you too.

I missed all your good years in Ferrari, the team I've always loved the most thanks to Michael, all those spectacular races against Lewis and anyone else who dared cross your path. I have seen all the videos of press rounds, to races, to qualifyings... Even if I saw now every single intervier, race, quali, free practice... it wouldn't be enough, I've already missed all of it when it mattered. I missed your terrible last 2 years at Ferrari even, when you came across our favorite demon child, and I missed almost entirely your first year at the team that gave you hope again.

I got to see you in Barcelona, though. But I was counting on seeing you closer next year too. It breaks my heart that I won't, same as all of those moments I've missed in the last 8 seasons. I wish I had stayed and watch you become the absolute wonder that you are, because for sure you'll always be our champion. It pains me deeply to not see you racing from this season on, but I get it. I get why you're leaving. I just hope you don't take too long before coming back to the sport itself or at least to be around it in some capacity, so that we can enjoy you again. Because it was never enough.

The funny thing is that it's been 8 months since I got back into this crazy sport and that thanks to my friend Marina I truly started appreciating you the way you deserve, because you're an absolutely wonderful person and driver. What pains me the most besides having missed all of it, all that really mattered after winning everything, is that if I ever get the slightest chance of working around or in F1, you won't be there and that honestly fucking sucks. I wasn't counting on you leaving this soon (although it doesn't surprise me entirely either), and if this week was already a shitty time, today just made it darker even.

I'm writing as if you were to read this at some point, which obviously you'll never do. I just wish I'd had the chance of talking about all of this and so much more with you, I bet you would've been a hell of a listener and you would've eventually joke about it in some way. That's how amazing I truly think you are.

You're one of the reasons I fell back in love with this sport again, and it won't ever be the same without you in it.

This is the worst part of growing attached to things such as fiction and sports for me, personally. I grow attached quickly to the characters/people in those worlds and letting go of them is as painful as losing a loved one. Or worse, even.

Thank you for everything you've done for the sport and for all of us, Seb. You'll be deeply missed.

Nai

#f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #aston martin racing #goodbye seb #mercedes amg f1 #scuderia ferrari #haas f1 team #mclaren f1 racing #alfa romeo racing #alpine f1 team #scuderia alpha tauri #williams racing #sir lewis hamilton #George Russell #Charles Leclerc #carlos sainz jr #lance stroll #mick schumacher #kevin Magnussen #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #esteban ocon #fernando Alonso #pierre gasly #yuki tsunoda #alex albon #nicholas latifi

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Book Club : Shiver

Okay, so I haven't been completely absent in my reading. I have finished a few things and wanted to get back to putting up my reviews.

Title : Shiver Author : Allie Reynolds Genre : Mystery/Thriller

Goodreads Summary:

When Milla is invited to a reunion in the French Alps resort that saw the peak of her snowboarding career, she drops everything to go. While she would rather forget the events of that winter, the invitation comes from Curtis, the one person she can't seem to let go.

The five friends haven't seen each other for ten years, since the disappearance of the beautiful and enigmatic Saskia. But when an icebreaker game turns menacing, they realize they don't know who has really gathered them there and how far they will go to find the truth.

Review:

I was going to have this one up in October in time for Halloween. Clearly that didn't happen.

The premise centers around a woman named Milla - who, in her early twenties, used to be a professional athlete, specializing in winter sports such as snowboarding and skiing. Back in the day - she and a group of her 'friends' had a lot of drama going on. In the present, she's invited for a reunion of sorts and then spooky things start happening as the truth of the past begins to come out.

The thing I'm coming to terms with with all of these 'thrillers' is that the schtick of them kind of are feeling the same. I suppose that's the point -- as I read dozens of Agatha Christie novels that have a similar sense of style to them. But maybe I'm finding these just aren't for me. I guess I expect too much from them? I don't know.

The book is split up into different halves -- the first half being in the present, and having that creepy - I Know What You Did Last Summer - vibe. And the second is the slow unraveling of what happened in the past.

The present day stuff is definitely the better part of the book. Reynolds is able to capture that unnerving, snowed in in the middle of nowhere feel to it. The tension of the present day is definitely felt, and I give this book points for having a great atmosphere. I do think it spends a little too much time before people start dying and the action to really start going, but the rely on tension definitely makes the book a very unsettling read.

Meanwhile, the stuff in the past is... idk, padded? I realize it's partly to get to know the characters better - but it feels like a lot of vamping because the reveal of the truth can't come in the middle of the book. And, as it seems like with a lot of these thrillers, the more the past goes on, the more terrible these characters seem. I get that that's part of it -- when terrible people are killed off, we shouldn't care all that much. But, meh, I feel like you should care a least a little bit about the characters.

Plus, the more 'twists' that happen, the more ridiculous I find the plot. Sometimes I think these books are trying to see how shocking they can be - and lose good character development and smart story telling choices in the process. It's definitely not bad, but I think once the truth begins to come into light, it stops being spooky and starts being a little campy.

I should also mention there is a little bit of queerness in the book -- and it feels exploitive (as in there for the shock value of it) more than it being a natural progression of the narrative.

The ending also felt a little... contrived? Idk what I really want from these thrillers, they always start out so promising with their premises! But they keep seeming to end on these outlandish twists.

Overall, I didn't hate this book like it may seem. The atmosphere was great, and I did get creeped out reading it. The part of the book in the present was decently solid (with the exception of the crazy ending) and captivating. The flashbacks felt a bit much, and I don't think the characters are all that great. But I think it's equivalent of going to a moderately well done horror movie.

Rating: 3.5 Stars

#sbc book club #books #book review #shiver #allie reynolds