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haileygarciasunshine · 3 years

Text

Reunion

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Written: May 24th, 2021

Posted: May 25th, 2021

Warning: None.

Word Count: 1,244

Summary: When the reader needs a date for her high-school reunion, Spencer surprisingly steps in.

Spencer Reid Masterlist

Another frustrated sigh passed through your lips.

“What’s got you down in the dumps, sweet heart?” Derek’s voice questioned leaning against your desk.

“Huh? Oh, uh, nothing.” You mumbled, as you jumped slightly at his sudden presence.

Scoffing, Derek rolled his eyes as he raised an eyebrow at you. “Right..” His voice trailed off.

“You really want to know?” You questioned gazing at him, as a ping of embarassment washed over you.

Snorting, he gazed down at you. “Of course I do, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

Letting out a frustrated huff, you felt your palms beginning to sweat. Rubbing them on your pants you attempted to calm your nerves.

“Well, uh,” You groaned quietly. “My high-school reunion is coming up-“

“And that’s what’s has you down in the dumps?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” You exhaled deeply. “I..I wasn’t exactly popular in school.”

“Come on, Y/N.” Derek scoffed. “I find that hard to believe.”

Shrugging you didn’t break your gaze from your desk. “It’s true.”

“Why is that an issue?”

“Because!” You groaned resting your elbows on the desk allowing you to bury your face in your hands. Rubbing along your cheeks, you felt dread overwhelm you. “Because…. I…. I can’t show up without a date.”

“Hey guys.” Spencer greeted, his gaze immediately locked with you.

“Hey.” You responded sweetly. The feeling of heat rose on your cheeks.

Derek gazed between you and Spencer. His presence seemingly forgotten. Clearing his throat, both you and Spencer turned your gaze towards him.

“Did…Did I interrupt something?” Spencer stuttered, furrowing his eyebrows together in confusion.

“No, not at all.” Derek spoke a devilish smirk making it’s way upon his lips. “We were just talking about, Y/N’s high-school reunion.”

“Derek..” You warned.

“She doesn’t have a date.” Derek shrugged his voice becoming soft.

“When was it again?”

Rolling your eyes, you crossed your arms along your chest. Leaning back in your chair, you let out a silent groan.

“Four days.”

“Oh, wow.” Derek was taken back. “Looks like you’re almost out of time.”

“Don’t remind me.” You groaned, closing your eyes letting your head to lean back against the chair.

—

After getting back home from your last case, you glanced at time. Groaning, you felt sadness wash over you. It was the day of the reunion. Luckily, you had made it back just in time. If you really wanted to, you would be able to make the beginning of the reunion.

“Hey.” Spencer’s voice called from behind you.

Turning on your heel, you grinned at him. “Hey.”

“Uh, did you ever find someone to go to your reunion with?” He scratched the back of his neck, as a pink tint danced along his cheeks.

“Oh, uh, no, no I didn’t.” You sighed, dropping your gaze to your shoes.

“I…I could go with you.”

Snapping your eyes up at him, your mouth fell slightly agape.

“Really?” You questioned in disbelief. “Are…Are you sure?” You mentally kicked yourself for stuttering.

Grinning at you, he nodded sheepishly. “Of course. I would be honored to.”

—

Stepping out of the car, you took a few steps away allowing Spencer to close the door. Standing slightly away from him, you smoothed down your dress. When you had decided you were going to attend your reunion, you chose one of your hotter dresses.

It was a spaghetti strapped gold sequin mini-dress, while pairing it with a pair of gold heels.

“Wow.” Spencer spoke gazing at your figure from head to toe. “You look…”

Glancing down at your feet, you felt somersaults erupting in your stomach, as heat danced along your cheeks.

“Breath taking.”

Giggling you brought your attention back to the man standing before you. “You don’t look to bad yourself.”

Spencer hadn’t looked much different from his usual work attire. The small difference was he had a gold tie that matched your dress.

“Shall we go in?” He questioned offering you his arm, beaming at you.

Nodding your head, you giggled. “We shall.”

Escorting you into the reunion area, you held a breath as you felt your palms beginning to sweat. As you walked in, you felt eyes on you. Spencer placed a comforting hand on your lower back.

“I’m going to get us drinks.”

Nodding your head, you gave him a close lipped smile.

“Y/N? Is that you?” A familiar voice called.

Turning towards the voice, you were face to face with one of the girls that made your experience a living nightmare.

“Yes, it is.” You grinned, standing a little straighter. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know.” She giggled sending you a playful swat. “My husband just booked us a vacation to Italy…”

As she went on, you nodded your head giving her the illusion you were listening. Glancing towards the beverage table, you were greeted with the sight of Spencer in conversation with a few other men.

Grinning to yourself, you wouldn’t have expected anything less. As if he had sensed your staring, he locked eyes with you sending a grin.

“And that’s the story of how we became owners of one of the most rare horses in the world.” She grinned attempting to throw her wealth in your face.

“Oh, uh, that’s great…I suppose.” You shrugged, shifting from foot to foot.

“What is it, that you do again?” She questioned turning her nose up at you slightly.

“I-“

“She’s in the Behavioral Analysis Unit for the FBI.” Spencer answered for you.

Taking you by surprise, you turned to face him as he joined your side. Placing an arm around your waist, he gently tugged you closer to his side. Sharing a grin, you turned your attention back towards the woman in front of you.

Her jaw had fallen slack as she gazed at you and Spencer with widened eyes.

“I…I had no idea.” She muttered continuing to stare at you both. “Wow…That’s just…Wow…” Her sentences trailing off.

Quickly snapping herself back to reality, she shook her head slightly. “If you’ll excuse me, I should really go find my husband.”

Without allowing either of you to respond, she had bolted in the direction she saw him.

Once she was gone, you moved to stand in front of Spencer. Beaming at him, you held a toothy grin upon your lips.

As the DJ played music, a slow song came on.

“Can I have this dance?” Spencer questioned holding his hand out for you to take.

Nodding your head, you continued grinning at him. “I would be my pleasure.”

Spencer lead the both of you out onto the dance floor. Placing your hands on his shoulders, his stationed on your waist. Swaying to the music, you were in awe of his features.

Catching you staring, he frowned. “Is there something on my face?”

“No!” You exclaimed feeling heat rise in your cheeks as you were caught gawking at your best friend turned crush.

“Uh huh.” He responded not fully convinced.

As more songs played, you and Spencer stayed in one another’s embrace.

Gently pulling you closer, he nuzzled your nose with his. Your breaths mingling as he moved closer to your lips. “Can…Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” You mumbled into his lips.

Placing his soft lips on yours, you wound your hands into his hair tugging him closer.

Pulling back from the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours. Your breaths becoming intermingled.

“How was the reunion?”

“Not too shabby.” You giggled pulling him in for another kiss.

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fireemblems24 · 3 years

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Why I Never Really Talk About Claude

Because there's nothing to say. As much as I hate to say it.

NOTE: I love Claude, and this is in no way meant to say anything bad about him, but Verdant Wind and how it handles him. I didn't tag him, but I want Claude fans to give me their amazing meta analysis and help me indulge in his character. So if you see this - no hate. Please send love.

Gronder Field was obviously a huge turning point for AM and Dimitri - and trust me, I'll definitely get to that - but ironically it was also an eye-opener for VW.

This game is four routes, and at first I tried to give all four their dues, but lately I've talked almost exclusively about CF and AM. With CF on hold until the other routes are also at their final chapter(s), it's become more apparent how little I mention SS and VW.

SS is obvious. It lacks a strong central figure. Rhea is MIA. Edelgard has no presence. Claude and Dimitri weren't supposed to be big characters here, and they aren't. Byleth is too much of a non-character (by design) to pull the weight of a route on his own (my SS is M!Byleth).

But what about VW? What happened?

Initial Impressions of Claude

Claude's writing, before any other character, got my attention. Edelgard I was already biased towards before even opening the game, fueled by her stark difference in design/unit type than other FE leading ladies and knowledge that her route had a split. Hilariously, Dimitri's the one I paid little attention too. But once I actually started the game and heard the characters talk and such, it was Claude who stood out the most.

Claude was witty, promising, and mysterious in a natural way and not the "yeah, sure" way I felt towards Dimitri's "darkness." 😅Edelgard turned out exactly how I expected (and not in a bad way); it was Claude who proved unexpected. It was his prologue dialogue I enjoyed the best, his class introductions that made me laugh.

But sadly that interest burned out.

Edelgard continued to demand my attention throughout part 1. I didn't always agree with her, but I did stay invested in figuring out what her deal was, what she'd do next, etc . . . She surprised me, intrigued me, made me want to discuss her ideas.

Dimitri blindsided me. He tore at my heartstrings without even trying. Ever since the Lonato rebellion, Dimitri got my attention and never let it go. His empathy and stark contrast with his revenge, the truth about his darkness, and so, so much more took him from "there's a third guy" to hands down favorite.

But what did Claude have going for him? Looks? Sure. A fun personality? Definitely. But what about plot, conflict, growth? Throughout part 1, I wanted to know more about what Edelgard planned behind the scenes and her ideals. And during that time, my heart ached for Dimitri as I watched a battle he kept losing and felt so conflicted about his desire for revenge.

What did Claude feel? What did he want? I still kind of don't know. Lack of prejudice between borders? Me too! But what does that have to do at all with what's happening in the game? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Gronder Field

Gronder Field made it just how apparent Claude and VW feels like an awkward third wheel.

During the cut scene, Dimitri and Edelgard had parts that made me (or would've made me) desperate to know what on earth was going on with them. Why is Edelgard invading everyone and, once again, trying to kill her classmates? If she's sad about it, why did she start this war? WTF happened to Dimitri? WTF is going on in the Kingdom? If I wasn't in the middle of it, I'd plan to get to CF and AM asap.

Claude says nothing interesting. Nothing intriguing. It's a throwaway line any character could've said about how this is such a bad class reunion. Honestly, it feels like he got dumped with the lines they needed for advertising because the other two were too caught up in having an actual storyline.

Throughout the game, there's moments that would've made me desperate to play CF and AM, but Claude really hasn't gotten the same treatment.

Claude Deserves Better

The thing is, I like Claude. Writing this reminded me what a fantastic impression he made initially. I love his drive for knowledge, the almost idealistic world he lives to create despite his world-weary character, and how he seemed far more mysterious than the other two (and still is frankly), and didn't get used as a tool to pander to the player self-insert nearly as much either.

But he's been given nothing to work with. Rhea, Edelgard, and Dimitri all have desperate stakes in what happens. Claude doesn't. Or it feels like he doesn't. Even more of the students and faculty have more going on than poor Claude. Things are desperate, emotional, full of conflict, growth, and action. This is what makes someone connect to a story, but Claude feels so disconnected that it's hard to invest.

VW feels less like a cohesive story that could stand on its own and more like a series of battles strung together. Claude has neither Edelgard's strong motivations and active presence nor Dimitri's strong motivations and dynamic development.

It's in the details too. In CF, people are fighting for Edelgard and the Empire. In AM, people are fighting for Dimitri and the Kingdom. In SS, people are fighting for Byleth, Rhea, and the Church of Serios. In VW, people are fighting for . . . Byleth.

I mean, even in FEH Claude doesn't get special treatment. It seems Legendary Edelgard got a giant advertisement video for her release, and Legendary Dimitri got his own mini-foreging bonds with full voice acting. Legendary Claude got nothing. Maybe he's not as popular are the other two (I've stayed out of the fandom outside of my blog for obvious reasons - so I don't really know), but maybe the reason he's less popular (I'm assuming) is because there's a lack of emotional resonance compared to the others.

Honestly, it makes me irritated. Claude has so much potential as a lead character. There's so much to work with, but the game just doesn't play to his strengths, doesn't connect his desires and goals to the plot, ignores Almyra, and has him remain distant from everyone - including the plot. He deserves better.

Claude Fans, I Need Your Help

That said, I know, for fact, I am overlooking parts of his character. Claude fans, please help! Send me your analysis of his characters, what you admire, what his faults are etc . . . (please just no spoilers post Gronder, if you let me know I need to read it later, I'll like it go back to it).

I'm playing all 4 routes at the same time, which means I'm doing monastery weeks back-to-back-to-back-to-back - which means lots and lots of supports all at once. It's impossible for me to retain all that information. There are definitely Claude moments I've overlooked and forgotten.

I also know, for fact, that when you love a character, you can write an entire essay off of one line of dialogue/scene (yes, I've done it 😅). Please send me those essays. I want more Claude love on here, because I'm quickly remembering how much I loved Claude.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #fe16 #not tagging him because I don't want anyone to see this and think it's hate #it's not #I really like Claude #but I don't want anyone to see the title and get upset #after the game I'm going to ask everyone to send their opinions and meta and essays on all 3 leads plus rhea anyways #and I'll def tag there because it'll be a totally neutral post

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yoonpobs · 3 years

Text

difficult | myg

pairing: min yoongi x oc

genre: fluff, mini angst, super cute, mutual pining

words: 3, 812

summary: you're difficult and yoongi just wants you

“I can’t believe it,” Jimin whistles. Taehyung mirrors his sentiment but with a look of disbelief.

“Me neither. But here we are.” Taehyung states matter-of-factly.

You were silent, not because you had nothing to say—but because you couldn’t believe it either. How did you allow yourself to fall into this trap? A trap you’ve spent your entire life training to avoid. And you would consider yourself someone that was dedicated to their craft and you truly were. But you were still susceptible to guilty pleasures and you just found your match.

“Why is no one stopping me? Why isn’t anyone telling me to get a grip of myself?” You cry.

Jimin looks at you sympathetically even if he knows that you hated being pitied. Taehyung at least avoids your gaze but the tell-tale signs of a frown appear on his face when you see the furrow of his brows.

“You know … you’re allowed to feel this way, right?” Jimin says carefully and you were more annoyed with the fact that he was walking on eggshells with you when you’ve long passed that stage of prudent navigation around each other. And you knew exactly why he sounded the way he did.

“I’m not. I’m supposed to be an impenetrable fortress that cannot be shaken by anything let alone anyone. I am an unyielding, resolute woman that refuses to be tied down by society’s narratives.” You say all at once.

Jimin and Taehyung blink at you. They expected this—but it still surprised them that you vocalised their thoughts.

Jimin clears his throat.

“Let me rephrase that,” He says sternly, “You’re allowed to feel, period.”

You shake your head because you’ve fallen too far—too hard. And you needed to get a grip of yourself because you didn’t work hard perfecting the flawless expression of bitchiness and temptation to be taken seriously amongst a Board of Directors filled with men. People like you couldn’t afford to feel.

Especially when the world never feels for you. For women.

“Do you hear yourself Jimin?” You exasperate as you throw your hands in the air in frustration.

“____—” Taehyung attempts to reason with you, but as always, you never let him get a word in. He knows you don’t mean any malice because you’ve built your walls so high that you think everyone is out to get you—but he just cares about you. He wishes you’d let him.

“No. You don’t understand guys. People like me? We—I—can’t afford to slack off. Not now and not anytime soon. I hear you guys and I wish I could understand where you’re coming from but frankly, I won’t ever be able to. You have the liberty of picking your battles because this world is yours. I had to fight my battles on my own to claim this world as my own and I’m nowhere near deserving of that role yet. I can’t feel.”

Their eyes soften at you and you avoid their gazes. You didn’t want their pity, and you didn’t want to sit in a tight office with their stares so heavy on your own.

“You deserve to be happy,” Taehyung says sadly.

You don’t respond, but you hear the chairs in front of your desk move against the hardwood floor. Then, you hear the opening and closing of your doors and you’re finally alone. Like how you do best.

You don’t allow another thought as insignificant as the one that threatens to overtake you to pass through your mind as you quickly tend to your pending projects.

The name of a certain man lingers very vaguely, though.

It annoys yet terrifies you how much you needed to consciously play your cards just right when you step into another board meeting. You thrived when you spoke at the podium, and no man—even the most bigoted—could deny that you were a born leader. But that didn’t mean that they liked that fact. In fact, most of them despised the idea that a woman as young as you was even allowed in the same room as they were. You wished you could yell at them, cry and shout until they understood that you were deserving.

You couldn’t, for very obvious reasons. But until you could—you needed to be smart.

“Mr Lee, with all due respect—liquifying the compartment company will not bring us the projected profit that you’ve pitched in the previous meeting.”

You’re level-headed and cool when you attempt to reason with the older and very stubborn man. He was old, and stubborn, which was never good news for you.

Mr Lee, the Chairman’s younger brother, simply scoffs at you, and you try your best not to let your eye twitch.

“What? Do you have a bachelor’s degree in business?” He sneers.

You blink.

“I have a double Masters in Business Administration and Finance.”

Mr Lee stiffens, and you briefly see Seokjin, the fellow nephew of Mr Kim, holding back his snorts at your declaration.

“I am qualified to be making this statement, and if you don’t believe in just words—which you really shouldn’t—here are the documents and projections from my end.” You distribute the analysis you took upon yourself to complete over the weekend and worked overtime to finish it as you handed it around the table.

Mr Kim, the Chairman, who was a far better man than everyone else in the Board of Directors, offers you an impressed smile as he flips through your booklet while you stand straight with your shoulders rolled back. A stance you often took to show that you knew your shit.

“This is very … meticulous. Great work as always, ___.” Mr Kim compliments you.

You don’t let it show on your face but you’re pleased with the way Mr Lee grumbles under his breath like a petulant child.

“Very well. We’ll keep the compartment company as it is,” Mr Kim declares and everyone else in the room shuffles to collect their belongings as the meeting comes to an end, “Meeting adjourned.”

“You’re absolutely badass,” Jin whistles at you as you walk side-by-side, your folders snug against your chest.

You hide your smile but acknowledge it regardless.

“And you were … there. As usual.”

He snorts and you know he gets where you’re coming from. Jin was simply present at the meeting but he wasn’t actually present. His heart had no place in the business world but instead in a world filled with fine dining and diverse cuisines as he worked up a storm in the kitchen. But as every father—who is the Chairman of a country’s largest exporter—he had pushed that dream onto Jin from a young age.

But Jin was Jin, and you knew Mr Kim simply kept him here for the sake of it; fully aware of his son’s aspirations and determination of becoming a chef.

“You should just take my position. You’re so good at business talk—I didn’t understand half the shit you were saying the entire time.” He says.

You shrug.

“I mean, that’s the goal. But let’s just see for now,” You hum as you reach your office, and you still when you see the person waiting for you inside.

Jin takes a peek over your shoulder and spots the same person who has you looking so tense. He whistles at you as he stuffs his right hand in his pocket while offering you a consoling pat on your shoulder with his left before he stalks off.

“Good luck!” He calls out, and you internally groan at the oncoming interaction.

You brace yourself and put on a brave face as you step into your office, doors clicking, signalling your guest to turn around at the insinuation of your presence.

“Mr Min, what can I help you with?” You don’t look at him when you place your belongings on your table and you nearly miss his scoff with the way you attempt to busy yourself with any mindless activity that you can find on your desk.

“Mr Min? Not Yoongi anymore?”

You ignore his bitter tone and look at him with a reserved stare, raising an eyebrow as if to question his statement.

“Are we not co-workers?” You reply coolly and he scoffs much louder for you to hear.

“Co-workers … yeah,” He shrugs, leaning forward, “Do you usually kiss your co-workers?”

You are still at the sudden declaration and nearly drop the pen that was in your grip. He’s suddenly inches closer to you despite the relative distance of your desk between the both of you. You try to ignore the heat of his body, but it’s entirely too suffocating for you to pretend like he isn’t there.

“Don’t give me that nonsense,” You wave him off and you steady your voice because you weren’t ready for him to see you break. You allowed yourself too much space to be vulnerable and you needed to stop.

He sits back into the chair and folds his arms across his chest with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, this is not what we’re going to do.” He says, suddenly much firmer than he was a moment ago.

“I’m sorry?” You ask, clearly confused.

“None of this detached, emotionless attitude with me. I see through this facade and it’s not cute. You’re going to speak to me like an adult and address the very obvious feelings you have for me, and likewise. You’re not allowed to deflect like you always do because I expect you to be honest with me because you’re clearly not being honest to yourself.”

You blink up at him and your heart starts beating more rapidly within your chest as it betrays your stoic appearance.

Maybe that was why you fell for Yoongi in the first place. He didn’t tolerate you. Specifically, the shit that you pull on him. You were well aware you were a stubborn, hard-headed bitch that could be emotionally reserved 99% of the time when you interacted with others. And sometimes your bitchiness was uncalled for, but most people were too terrified to say anything about it to your face.

Yoongi?

He had no problems letting you know what he expected from you and how he thought of you from the beginning. It should’ve irked you. Based on your strict line of principles that you upheld—a man projecting his own thoughts of you that he had in his head, directly to you, should’ve been dehumanising, disrespectful even. But you never got that from Yoongi. He was brutally honest. And you appreciate honesty.

But sometimes it made you squirm.

“I … sorry, what? Are you insane? I don’t have feelings for you.” You narrow your eyes at him and hope you sound convincing enough.

But you knew Yoongi well enough to know that he saw through your blatant lie.

“I said: don’t deflect. You’re deflecting.” He scolds.

“You’re being unnecessarily distasteful right now,” You roll your eyes.

“Am I? Or am I just telling you the truth that you’ve been trying to deny for the past week that you’ve been cowardly avoiding me?” He’s calm when he makes the accusation. And it wasn’t even an accusation because it was the plain truth.

You burn, both in anger and in humiliation.

“What do you know about me Yoongi? Aren’t I just the company’s hot-headed bitch?” You snap, remembering the first words you heard from Yoongi.

“You are a hot-headed bitch, and I know you’re scared of admitting that you have feelings for me because you think feeling makes you weak.”

You ignore the fact that he admitted that you were a bitch, but Yoongi wasn’t the type to lie, nor was he the type to kiss ass. And you hated that he was still brutally honest, even when speaking about a topic so … intimate.

“Look, I don’t know where you’re getting this information from but you need to leave.” You stand up to walk towards the door so you could open it for him but he grabs your wrist before you make it there.

He turns you around to look at him. Properly look at him, that is. You’ve been avoiding direct eye contact with him because as good of a front you’ve worked on to put in front of him, you were human. And as a human, you were bound to have a weakness.

“You don’t get to walk away from me—this conversation—because you hate confrontation,” He frowns at you and you turn away to avoid his heavy gaze.

“Yoongi, can we not do this?” You sigh.

He chuckles dryly, using his right hand to nudge your face to look at him. It should’ve been demeaning, but you felt nothing like you were disrespected. You hated to admit it but you liked it. You liked it a lot more than you’d admit to anyone.

“No. We’re doing this. You’re going to address your feelings for me and actually work for what you want—and that’s clearly this,” He gestures between the two of you and you glare up at him.

“I told you! I don’t have any feelings for you.” You snarl at him, teeth bared like an animal but he just laughs at you like you were pathetic. You hated how small you felt in his presence but yet you were still whole.

“You don’t kiss a person you don’t have feelings for—you don’t hold someone you don’t have feelings for like they’re your safe space. You don’t have feelings for me? That’s funny because you did all of those things and you’ve never once complained when I reciprocated.”

You fumble with your words as the tip of your ears burn a bright red, which Yoongi easily catches.

“You don’t turn into a tomato if I was lying to you. You’re not like that, right? You’re self-assured. Ms-I’m-An-Impenetrable-Fortress,” He mocks.

“S-Stop acting as if you know me, Yoongi. You don’t and you never will.” You struggle against his grip on your wrist but he simply tugs you closer until your faces are inches apart.

“I don’t?” He scoffs, “Then tell me, why do I know that you confide Jimin and Taehyung for advice but never take it anyway because you’re too damn stubborn?”

You were about to retort but he’s quicker with his response.

“Then tell me, why do I know that you walk with your head held high into meetings but exit with your tail tucked between your legs because you’re afraid of sounding too dumb, too incompetent?”

You freeze.

“Then tell me, why do I know that you pull away from people not because you’re repulsed by them but because you’re afraid of forming actual bonds in the fear of being abandoned?”

You internally curse when you fear your eyes burning, and the lump in your throat becoming too much to bear.

“Then tell me, ___, why do I know you feel the same way about me but you’re too scared of looking dependent to do anything about it?” He whispers the last part when he pulls you tight against his chest.

You don’t fight him anymore, and you relax into the firm expanse of his chest and it terrifies you that it feels so much like home. A warm space you find comfort in.

You don’t even realise the first tear escapes your eyes until you feel Yoongi’s dress shirt turn slightly damp under the skin of your cheek. You’re mortified when you realise you’re crying and you attempt to pull away but his hands find their way around your waist to hold you tight.

“Don’t,” He whispers, “Don’t pull away from me.”

“Yoongi … I-I can’t,” You stutter, voice shaky.

He wipes a thumb on your cheek to wipe away the continuous stream of tears that you don’t bother hiding from him anymore.

“I worked my ass off to be taken seriously here and—and … if I get a boyfriend they’re going to think that I’m reliant, I’m weak, dependent on a man.” You ramble, but he just listens to your nonsensical statement as he rubs soothing circles on your head.

“I want you to rely on me, to depend on me. Stop thinking that you need to fight your battles alone. I’m here—I’ll be here. I’ve always been here but you need to let me be there for you.” He says softly.

You peer up at him with swollen eyes and he thinks you look beautiful. You always were beautiful. When you were commanding a meeting; when you were focused when you were angry; when you were laughing, and when you were sad. He was in for all of it.

“But ... the Board of Directors—”

He shushes you with a light kiss to the corner of your lip and you feel your stale heart flutter.

“I’m not here to be your saviour. I’m here to be your equal. I want to help you as much as you’ll help me. And believe me when I say you’ve helped me. The Board of Directors? Relationship or no relationship, they’ll be the same bigots that unfortunately dictate the policies in this company. The only person that has the ability to change anything in this situation is you ___.”

You feel your resolve breaking but you should’ve known that you’ve never had any resolve when it came to Yoongi. You were always weak around him. And maybe you needed to start accepting the fact that you were allowed to feel weak, to feel dependent on someone.

“What if you leave me.” You whine.

He snorts before rubbing a thumb between your furrowed brows.

“Then I leave. But we don’t know what’s going to happen if we don’t try,” He says and you realise how close he’s gotten to you to the point you feel his breath on your lips.

“That’s not comforting to hear the slightest,” You complain.

“And nothing about a relationship is easy. But I’m willing to be with you. I’ve always been ready—it’s you that needs to make the decision, ___.”

You finally lock eyes with him and you see nothing but sincerity. Yoongi could be crass, and often mistaken as a dick. But he was just honourable. He wouldn’t lie to anyone or sugarcoat the difficult truth. In fact, he never made you feel inferior to him even when he was straightforward. He never treated you differently because you were terrifying—but he treated you how he would with anyone else. And that was comforting. While everyone else walked on eggshells with you, he was fearless with his declarations.

Even now.

“I like you. I have no qualms in admitting it. And I’ll say it over and over again until you believe me,”

You don’t reply but kiss him. And there are no explosive fireworks, and time still flows—but it feels familiar. It feels like a territory that you’ve known all along, a little rough around the edges with the time spent away, but a place you can allude to comfort.

He responds by licking into the seam of your mouth as you allow his tongue to lick behind your teeth, a small whine caught in the back of your throat as you card your fingers through his hair. The hands-on your waist presses you tighter, flush against his body.

He pulls away first, resting his forehead on your own.

“I need to hear you say it. None of this tip-toeing anymore.”

You offer him a small smile.

“I-I …”

He watches you stutter with a hooded gaze but nothing about his stare makes you feel pressured. It was more comforting than anything, and the way he still held onto you like you mattered—but weren’t fragile—allowed you some semblance of peace in retaining your identity. This arbitrary idea of what you thought you were and how people perceived you. It was difficult to unlearn an idea that felt very personal to you after years of mastering its art.

You’re still unsure of how to react but you’re so sure of how you feel.

“I like you. I-I want to try.” You wail.

He’s alarmed by the sudden change in tone from your end and at the way you tug at the collars of his shirt. Not aggressively, but a little desperate. Not in the way that’d make him scrunch his nose in distaste but in a way that told him that this was you being vulnerable. Being open.

He wipes at your cheeks with dried tears and looks at you so honestly that it scares you. But in a way, you were fearless because you were terrified of everything. Mostly of disappointing others who held you to such a high standard, but it was a valid fear regardless.

“I’m not some fragile woman that you need to fix and I want you to understand that,” You pull yourself together and tell him sternly. He listens because Yoongi has never been presumptuous.

“I’m my own person and I won’t change the way I act to be with you—and if you’re looking for a cute … dainty, soft girlfriend then…” You whisper, “That’s not me. I’m tough. I’m a bitch and I’m stubborn. Our arguments are going to suck because I have a response for literally everything so—!”

He shushes your rambling with a finger to your lips and a raised eyebrow. You pout at him under his finger and he finds you adorable. He decides to not say anything to preserve his head—but soon. He’ll tell you soon.

“Are you done?”

You huff under his finger but he looks at you fondly.

“I’m not one for normality. I don’t care about what you think I’m into because I know that I’m into you. I’m in this, ___. Stop thinking that I deserve some idealistic image of a woman that you have in your head. I want you, and I thought me coming here to speak to you about your feelings was a clear testament to that.”

You try to hide your blush but you fail.

“And stop being so conscious of how you act around me. Be tough. Be independent. But don’t be afraid to be cute and vulnerable too, okay? I like you in all ways that you decide to present yourself in. Just … trust me. Trust this.”

“Okay.” You nod.

He grins at you.

“Does that mean I can hold your hand on the way to work?” He teases.

You avoid his eyes and look to the side, but the slight curve of your lip gives your answer to that question away.

“I guess …” You mutter.

He hugs you closer and squeezes you until your feet leave the ground. He tackles you with kisses all over your face and you can’t help but giggle. You feel happy. You feel secure.

“Cutie.”

You deliver a smack to his chest but he just laughs.

#bts fic #bts imagine #bts fics #bts imagines #bts #bts yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #yoongi #yoongi imagine #min yoongi imagine #min yoongi fic #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi x reader

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dakotadelacour · 2 years

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Framing the House

As you may have read in my post, Laying the Foundation, I recently decided to remove my stories from AO3. This isn’t due to any major fandom drama or anything like that, I just wasn’t enjoying writing as much as I used to and having unfinished stories on the website increased my anxiety. So I took them all down. If anyone is interested, I’m now using my free time on hobbies that are even better for me than writing used to be. After letting readers know about my decision to stop writing, a few reached out to ask if I’d share a summary of how I had planned to finish a series I was in the middle of. I decided that would be a nice way to wrap things up, so to speak, so I’ve taken to Tumblr to do just that. To give a complete summary, though, I felt I had to start by explaining why I wanted to write Dramione fanfiction in the first place and what my original intentions were for my most popular story, Between the Lines (which eventually turned into the previously mentioned unfinished series). So that’s what I covered in my last post which, again, was called Laying the Foundation. Here’s a recap, though: I wanted to write a (mostly) canon complaint retelling of the Harry Potter books which would make Draco’s cruel behavior and him having a secret crush on Hermione somehow blend together in a believable, sympathetic way. I also wanted to include a lot of headcanons I developed while re-reading the books because I wanted to shine light on nuanced Dramione patterns from canon which are sadly overlooked far too often (IMO). Sidebar: if I can toot my own horn for a second, I recommend that post for the canon analysis alone. I’m pretty proud of it. Much love to the Tumblr user who commented about it! Anyway, that’s the recap of Laying the Foundation, and now we’re ready to dive into Framing the House. Basically, with this post I want to build on the details I’ve already shared in order to explain my original story outline and how I got off track. After that, in the next and last post in this mini series, I can tie up plot points as they stood before deleting my work. It’s going to be a bumpy ride, though. Since I got off track from my original outline, there are plot points I regret including and/or no longer enjoy exploring. So, yes, I’m Framing the House, but by the end the house is going to be a bit crooked because it’s going to include things like, “Here’s what I was thinking, but I don’t like that anymore.” Bare with me.

Let’s start with the original outline, inspired by the previously mentioned original intentions (mostly canon compliant but Draco has a secret crush and, oh yeah, headcanons galore). Just know, though, that I’m using the words original outline pretty loosely here. I had a lot of headcanons and I wanted to weave several of them together, but I was also aware that they couldn’t ALL fit.

Here are some basics, though.

Remember how short the first few scenes were in Between the Lines and how quickly I moved through years 1, 2, and 3? How a reader needed to know the canon story to make sense of what I was writing because what I included was pretty bare bones? Here’s a big reveal: it was all supposed to be like that. Because I was writing it just for myself. Never really expected thousands of hits or hundreds of kudos. This a little embarrassing to admit, but honestly the whole story, start to finish, was supposed to come out to be like, maybe 20k words. A long ish one-shot.

The “unspoken understanding” between Draco and Hermione which I described in my last post? In my story, it was supposed to stay that way all throughout their school years. Because I love Draco being confused, resisting his feelings, but deep down he’s secretly pining. Pining Draco is my favorite. So that’s where I wanted him to be through the entire war, which would have taken up about 75% of the long ish one-shot I imagined initially. Okay, so put a pin in that thought for a second while I talk about Ron and Astoria.

Here’s a blunt truth: I don’t really like canon Ron. I know Hermione has a bunch of flaws too and maybe my retrospective feelings about my first big crush in high school cloud what I think of Ron. I mean, he’s a relatable character and a good friend to Harry. So I don’t like to drag him through the mud. But his fits of moodiness and immaturity always bothered me more than Hermione’s. So I like to picture the two of them were together for a time after the war, but as Hermione learned more about herself on a deeper level, she decided she and Ron were not a good fit for each other. No marriage and no kids for them. Never happened as far as I’m concerned. But Astoria? She’s not in the books, so it’s easy to imagine her any way I want. And I like Scorpius because, even though I don’t read much of it, I’m a Scorbus shipper. The friendship between those two nerds was the only good thing about Cursed Child if you ask me. So, yeah, I also had all these headcanons about Astoria and and how her life might intersect with Draco’s and how they might have had Scorpius. To be more specific, I’ve always liked the idea of Astoria suspecting or knowing about Draco’s secret crush on Hermione and having really personal reasons for empathizing. That is, I’ve always liked to imagine her having her own friendship with Hermione and/or her own secret relationship with a Muggle-born such as Colin Creevey. Eventually that developed into a post-war headcanon: After losing Colin in the war, Astoria makes peace with marrying Draco — going along with her mother’s and Narcissa’s plans to pair them together — so long as Draco is fine with it too. And I imagine that he is fine with it, at least for a time, because Hermione is either unavailable or he perceives that she is unattainable. So back to the original outline. Let me mesh together the long one-shot, bare bones ideas with my Ron and Astoria ideas. I thought I’d quickly make it through my retelling of all seven books, then add in a few scenes which would start out fairly compliant with what we’re told happened to our favorite Harry Potter characters after the war. Hermione would go back to Hogwarts for a year. Harry and Ron would become Aurors, but before long Ron joins Fred at the joke shop. Initially, Hermione and Ron are together. And Draco, having barely acknowledged his feelings for Hermione, (other than to Theo because that was another ever-present headcanon) would be too pessimistic to believe he could have a future with her.

But then! Astoria comes into his life and they develop more of a friendship than a romantic love. They care deeply for one another and eventually admit to each other their feelings for Hermione and the belated Colin Creevey. They get married, knowing that what they have together is less than what they want from a partnership but, hey, at least they can be honest about it. And then they have Scorpius. Eventually, Hermione and Ron split. Something kinda, sorta finally develops between Draco and Hermione. But he’s married and he has a son. He wants to be honorable and resist his feelings for Hermione. But Astoria! Oh, Astoria! Being the best ever, she initiates the difficult, necessary conversation. She encourages a divorce, maybe even going as far as to scream at Draco, “Fine, if you won’t divorce me, I’m divorcing you.” Angst! Angst, angst, angst! I love it. And I still love those headcanons. I do, a lot. But I think they only work if I had kept with my plan to make the story relatively short and told in a bare bones kind of way. AND — this is a big piece, thus the capitalization — I think those headcanons also only work if I had resisted the urge to let Draco and Hermione get together sooner. I mean, if you’ve read Between the Lines, you know that they fully accepted their feelings and committed to one another by 5th year. Meaning, I now have a Hermione I don’t want with Ron and a Draco I don’t want with Astoria, not even for a short phase. Given the way Between the Lines developed, even a short jaunt with other partners would be really, really frustrating for readers, I think. Because my Draco and Hermione already love each other way too much to allow themselves to get that lost and separated from each other. Right? It took me a long time to realize that, though. Like, even as my story got more detailed, and complicated, and longer than anticipated, I was digging it for a while. Loving it, really. Like, “Look at all these headcanons working together perfectly! Yes, give me the memory loss trope! My favorite! I’m so glad that headcanon fits with all these other ones I have.” So I was chugging along, and only once I started planning the sequel more seriously did I realize the above post-war plans no longer felt right. But I kept trying. I thought “:Okay, okay, I can do this. I can make this work.” Maybe the story won’t extend a few years past the war like I thought. It will end shortly after the Battle of Hogwarts with Draco and Hermione meeting with the Aurors who are about to insert the memories back into their minds. But the beautiful thing is that, regardless, they’ve already fallen in love all over again. (Hmm. Wait and Hope, anyone? Not the exact same concept but parallels, definitely.) But that just didn’t excite me as much. I mean, think about the classic three act story structure. If the story is really about Draco’s growth and his developing relationship with Hermione — and the war and memory magic are just vehicles used to explore those things — what would be the “all is lost” moment? What would be the climax? For the sequel, I had a lot of ideas about Unraveling memories, and reimaging canon scenes in interesting ways, and working in headcanons about the Black sisters. But overall, it simply started to seem like I’d already written the all is lost moment and thereby set myself up for the longest descending action sequence ever to exist. Sidebar: I’m toying with the idea of reworking the story significantly and publishing it again with a non-linear timeline. More on that in the next post.

So that’s the gist. And yet, despite explaining all that, I’ve managed to dodge a lot of specifics, haven’t I? The next and last post in this Tumblr mini series, which will be called Installing the Windows, will cover more specifics, but let me give a little teaser. And let me use Graham Montague to do it (again). As I mentioned in Laying the Foundation, the whole story started to go awry because of Graham Montague. I was writing him — that scene in which the Slytherin Quidditch boys are gossiping about cute girls— and he turned out so damn charming that I just couldn’t help but allow him to spill the beans on my pureblood gender imbalance headcanon. But that was never meant to be in Between the Lines. Yep, you read that right. The gender imbalance, the whole Sacred Sons thing — it wasn’t supposed to be there! It was meant to be saved for an 8th year fake dating fic. And it all spiraled out of control from there. Ahh! How dare you, Graham! Okay, okay, I’m being a bit silly. Really, though, that was the first time I allowed myself to get more detailed than I originally intended and the habit stuck after that. And because I was more detailed, it made sense to allow Draco and Hermione to get together way, way earlier. And because of that — well, now I’m starting to talk in circles. So I guess I’ll end this par here. More details next time. Stay tuned, Dramione fans.

#dramione #draco x hermione #headcanons #the writing process #between the lines

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cafeacademia · 3 years

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Admirers || Part i

Draco x Reader

Summary: Both Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini have developed feelings for their friend at different points of their lives, but now as Valentine’s Day approaches, they realise there’s only space for one of them in your heart.

Warnings: Jealousy, fluff, mild angst, thoughts of potential unrequited love, soft Draco

Word count: Approx 2740

Masterlist

A/N: Hi loves! Here’s the first part to a mini series that will have at least one other part, plus two extra parts after that for you to choose which boy the reader ends up with! I hope you enjoy, also apologies, I’ve not heavily edited this, please forgive mistakes, I’m just writing this for fun 💕

He admired you, the light warm and hazy as he gently gripped a folded parchment between his fingers, watching as you sat alone in the library. You looked so pretty in the mid afternoon glow that was cast by the old wobbled glass windows, the sun shining through the drafty panes.

It was early February, the wind carrying a drift of heavy snow through the grounds, the sun’s usually bright hue was softened to a gentle warmth by the misty clouds.

But what softened Draco more was that while you were relaxed in your seat, you sat with his Slytherin scarf draped around your shoulders to keep the cold draft at bay. He loved seeing you like that, wearing his things, seeing how comfortable you looked as you wore something that belonged to him, that smelled like him.

You might have been best friends, but Draco couldn’t deny he saw something more and as he stood at the edge of the bookcase, his fingers running along the crease of the parchment in his hands, he pushed away from the bookcase to approach you. Though, as he stood a step in your direction, his movements diverted when another student, seemingly appearing out of nowhere approached you more quickly than he had and Draco’s jaw clenched in sudden irritation as he watched.

“There you are, I was looking everywhere for you.” Blaise Zabini said as he pulled out the chair next to you, dropping into his seat and scooting up close to your side. Why did it anger Draco so much to see Zabini this close to you? It wasn’t as if you liked Blaise, was it? No more than a friend or a classmate he had supposed, but now as you glanced over at the Slytherin next to you with a dreamy little smile, Draco felt little cause to justify his irritation now and instead of approaching you like he had intended, for once, he turned around and walked away.

“You were? Well I was right where I told you I’d be, I think you’re just making up for the fact that you’re late.” You said teasingly, prodding Blaise in the arm as you slid your textbook across so that he could see what you were working on. “We’ve got another few days until our project is due, I’ve finished this part of the analysis, but I think we still need to do some research on the properties inside of the lake.” You explained, shuffling around some papers and showing Blaise everything so he could catch up on what you had done.

Had it not been for this very class project, you might not have gotten to know Blaise much more than you already did. You had of course hung out with him now and again while you were around Draco, but he tended to stay quiet in groups. It was only until he was your assigned project partner that you actually got to know him better and you were pleasantly surprised to say the least. Blaise was charming, quiet and enthralling, he had an air about him that was brooding, his strong silence emitting an even stronger confidence. While he appeared quite stoic, it was however, not uncommon for him to smile around you and you had begun to grow quite fond of the way he looked at you.

“I’m sure we can get this all done before the weekend, we wouldn’t want it to get in the way of any plans for Valentine’s day.” Blaise said, a smirk playing on his lips as he spoke, though you didn’t catch it, far too busy collecting your papers together. “Oh don’t worry about that,” You said, pausing for a moment as you closed the textbook that sat between you. “I don’t really have any plans.” You added, looking at him with a little smile as you began to pack away your things.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning? We can finish off the last of our research before class on Friday.” You asked, getting up from your seat, the Slytherin looking up at you from his lounged position in his chair with a lopsided smile. “I was actually hoping that you might join me for dinner?” Blaise asked, watching as you put the last of your things away, your movements slowing as you listened to his question. “I’m sorry Blaise, I already promised Draco I’d eat with him tonight.” Giving him an apologetic smile, you sighed a little and picked up your bag, turning away to leave your project partner to finish working on his part of the work.

“Dray! Wait a second, won’t you?” You asked, hurrying to catch up with your best friend as you quickly hurried along towards the bridge towards him. “How did the project go?” Draco asked, his voice more glum than usual, hands shoved into his trouser pockets and a look of discontent on his features. You were a little disappointed that you hadn’t been greeted by him with his usual enthusiasm to see you and instead, you pulled his scarf off your shoulders, circling around to his front to gently wrap the soft woollen garment around his neck, the ashen haired boy giving you a soft smile as you did.

You always managed to pull him in, make him feel like he was sinking in something so wonderful, heavenly like sweet honey, thick soft blankets or something as utterly divine as silk. It was that way especially when your fingers brushed his, like they did now, your hand almost accidentally brushing against his, and yet he did not flinch away, nor did he reach for you, Draco just purely appreciated it and smiled as you looked up at him with unrivalled joy at just seeing your best friend.

“It went okay, Blaise was late again and he hasn’t finished his part of the project yet either.” You sighed, Draco didn’t catch whether you had rolled your eyes or not when you stepped back to walk along at his side, but he imagined you might have accompanied that statement with an eyeroll. “Of course he hasn’t.” Draco mumbled, gritting his teeth as you walked along together. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, glancing up at him, the ashen haired boy just looking down at you with a soft smile, raising his hand from his pocket to affectionately rest it on the back of your head for a moment. “Nothing, Zabini likes leaving things until the last minute is all, don’t let him stress you out. I still don’t know how he manages to pull that all together into a good grade at the end.” Draco sighed, slowly resting his hand on your shoulder before he pulled it back down into his pocket.

“You’ll tell me if he tries to mess with the project, won’t you? I don’t want him taking your credit or something ridiculous.” Draco asked, glancing over at you as you paused halfway across the bridge to look out across the still frozen lake. “I don’t think he will, but I’ll tell you if he does.” You assured him, nodding as you sunk against his side, the boy putting his arm around you.

“Draco, do you perhaps… Have any plans for um-.” You cut yourself off mid sentence, nervous to really ask what you had been about to and you glanced over at him, only to wish that in some ways, you hadn’t. He was listening to you so intently, a small, warm smile on his lips as he waited for you to finish your question, brows slightly raised in a questioning fashion as he met your eyes, his smile widening as he did. “The weekend?” You finally finished your sentence, your voice smaller than you had intended it to be and avoiding the Valentine's day question that had been on the tip of your tongue, but that you had been too shy to ask about. Draco looked away for a moment, smiling to himself as you nervously fidgeted beside him, his arm pulling you closer against his side and squeezing you tightly. “No, but I was going to ask-.” “There you are!” Blaise said for the second time that day, practically legging it across the bridge towards you, Draco’s arm sliding off your shoulder as he approached.

“I think you took one of my papers with you, I need it to finish what I was writing and I swear it was on the desk when I came to the library.” Blaise said, watching as you awkwardly apologised and began to rifle through your bag. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” Blaise said rather nonchalantly, Draco fixing a heavy glare on his friend and if looks could kill, this was by far the most deadly glare Draco had thrown at a single person before. But either it went straight over Blaise’s head or he knew not to dig much further and he took the paper that you had extended towards him and with a badly placed smirk and charming wink, Blaise threw you a smooth, “Thank you sweetheart.” Before turning away and returning to the castle.

Sweetheart. That really boiled Draco’s blood, his jaw clenched so tightly that it would ache for the rest of the day and his hands were so tightly balled up into fists that there would surely be indents from where he had dug into his palms in pure irritation. He’d have to say something, speak up about it because as far as Draco was concerned, you weren’t Blaise’s. You were his, as long as you’d have him.

“Are you alright, Draco?” You asked softly, looking up at him with concern in your eyes, the Slytherin glancing at you and slowly letting the tension go, relaxing a little as you reached out for him and gently took his hand in yours. Letting out a sigh, he closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself, wanting not to snap at the person he loved so dearly and opened his eyes to give you a faint smile. “Yes love, come, let’s enjoy the snow before it gets dark.”

“Morning, I see you’re early today.” You smiled, approaching Blaise in the library the next morning as he stood in front of a bookcase with a small stack of books in his arms, presumably about Hogwarts history and the magical properties of the geological surroundings of the school. “Yeah, I wanted to get a head start since I slacked a bit on the last part we worked on.” Blaise said idly as he thumbed through a book. “I think this is everything we need, shouldn’t take us too long.” He told you, giving you a big smile before walking you over to the table he had picked for you both to sit at.

It wasn’t long into your research, both of you making notes as you sifted through information in the books before Blaise turned to casual conversation to fill the silence. “So, you and Malfoy,” He paused, watching as you looked up from your notebook with a raised eyebrow. “What about Draco?” You asked. “Are you two a thing?” Blaise asked.

“A what?” You questioned. “A thing, y’know are you dating?” He asked more bluntly this time and you jerked back in your seat a little at how direct his question had been. “Oh, no we’re- no we’re not.” You said it with a slight frown, dropping your voice in the last part of your sentence, dipping back into your book. While some might have read your response as being one of disappointment, Blaise smiled to himself as he thought about it. “So yesterday on the bridge wasn’t- I mean I wasn’t interrupting a date, was I?” Blaise asked. “A date?” You almost snorted, surely Draco would never date you. Of course, you were best friends, you’d had a crush on him for the longest time, but he had never made a move towards you in all of the years you had known each other and you didn’t think he would either. “No, we were just hanging out. We’re just friends, Blaise.” You said, an edge of discomfort in your voice.

“In that case, fancy a butterbeer tomorrow after we hand in our project, I’m free all afternoon.” Blaise grinned, watching as you paused, slowly lowering your quill and looking up at him with mild disbelief on your features. “A date, perhaps, or just as friends?” He added with confidence in his voice as he leaned against the table, casually lounging as he leafed through the book as if he hadn’t just asked you on a date. “Um-.” “It’s okay, you don’t have to say yes, it’s a no pressure thing. Just thought that since we’ve been working on this project that you might want to let off some steam and wind down before the weekend.” Blaise interrupted your hesitancy and while you sat there, wondering for a moment what your answer might be, you looked up to meet his eyes, your heart softened by the confident smile that he wore as he waited for your response.

It wasn’t as if you had any plans and the idea of celebrating the end of the project you had both worked hard on did seem like a nice way to end it. And yet, while you contemplated, your mind flicked to Draco for a moment and you sighed, thinking it over. You wanted to spend time with him, but you were always scared to go further than just friends, especially because he never really showed much interest in going further with you. So instead, you looked up a Blaise, met his eyes with a sweet smile and nodded. “Actually, a butterbeer sounds good.” You told him, the boy’s smile widening into a bright grin. “Brilliant.”

It wasn’t long before you both finished the last of your research, Blaise volunteered to write it up and promised to deliver the paper to you later that day for you to read and you were finally able to get on with the rest of your day. It was just then, as you exited the library just after Blaise, that Draco stopped you in the hallway.

“Hi love, how did it go?” Draco asked, gently leaning his arm against the wall so he could stand over you as you talked. You couldn’t lie, having him stand over you like that made you feel a certain way, but nearly everything Draco did around you made you feel flushed and giddy and shy. “Do you just lurk until I’m done studying?” You teased, unable to meet his eyes, the Slytherin snorting out a laugh. “Something like that, I wasn’t far away and I knew you’d finish around this time.” Draco shrugged, gently tugging your books out of your hands to carry them himself. “Besides, I prefer filling my time with you.” Draco said it offhandedly, if only he knew exactly how that had made you feel, the butterflies in your stomach and the way it melted you.

“Are we still on for our day together on Saturday?” Draco asked as you walked along together towards your next class. “Of course we are, I’d never miss it.” And you wouldn’t, you spent every Saturday with Draco and contrary to spending time together all day, this was different. It was a time to relax and unwind from the week together. And more importantly, it was special. “Good, it’s a special one.” Draco told you as you rounded the corner, the two of you stopping outside of your classroom before he handed you your books and backed away from you with a lopsided grin and dreamy look in his eyes.

And as you watched him walk away, you couldn’t help but wonder what Saturday was all about. Besides, Valentine’s day was just around the corner and the closer you got to the day, the more you wondered if something might happen.

Blaise wandered to his class with a Valentine’s day card hidden in his pocket and Draco with a sweetly worded letter in his, waiting for the opportune moment to pass it to you. Draco just wasn’t sure his spoken words would suffice, but the worry that sat in the pit of both boy’s stomachs was enough to make them both feel on edge, because they both knew the other might make a move before they could.

Taglist (OPEN):

@kitkatd7 @paintballkid711 @thesewaywardskies @coldlilheart @victorialynn7 @pandaxnienke @megantje123 @loving-life-my-way @chaotic-fae-queen @theweasleyslut @daltonacademia @amourtentiaa @sincerelymalfoy @slytherinwh0re @dracosaccount @dreaming-about-fanfictions

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thekingofwinterblog · 3 years

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Getter Robo Retospective - Getter Robo Part 1 -Ryoma Nagare

So, Iv’e been wanting to do an overall retrospective of the Getter Robo manga franchise for a while now, and since the Getter Robo Arc is nearing it’s finale as of the time of this writing, and will either give it a definite ending, or be the final nail in the coffin that the series will never be finished before Getter Robo falls into public domain, I thought now might as well be the time to do it.

As such, I’ll be doing an overall analysis over the entire collection of Ken Ishikawa’s Getter Robo manga series, it’s plots, themes, characters, and covers the various ideas this crazy and amazing sci-fi series covers.

Also, this retrospective will NOT cover the various anime adaptations, or the behind the scenes stuff that has gone on with Getter Robo over the years, such as Go Nagai being credited as the writer of the original manga despite only having come up with the overall concept and designs for it(the rest was by Ken Ishikawa), or the way that Ken went back and added in some extra chapters in the original two manga to explain some things and to tie the early manga more closely into what came after.

For the purposes of this retorspective, I will be focusing exclusively on the manga itself, and what it has to offer, without going into anything else.

And of course there is no place better to start, than the beginning.

So, what is the story of the original Getter Robo Manga?

Well, the overall plot of the original manga is about the conflict between two sides of a conflict, as laid out rather well in it’s prologue chapter.

The first is our protagonists, the Saotome Institute of Japan, who’s leader and namesake has invented the titular giant mecha, the Getter Robo.

Powered by a revolutionary newly discovered form of energy called “Getter Energy”, this enormous metal behemoth is a fighting machine unlike any other.

This war machine was originally supposed to be used for space exploration, but due to necessity, it has instead been reworked into a fighting machine.

It’s only weakness is that it requires 3 different living pilots to operate it to draw upon its full strength.

Opposing the Saotome Institute, is the forces of the Dinosaur Empire

An empire of humanoid Sentient Dinosaurs that long ago was forced to flee the Earth’s surface after it was bombarded with a strange kind of energy from space that was deadly to their kind, their only way to survive being to use their incredible technology to hide on the only place on Earth where the rays couldn’t reach them. The Earth’s very core.

Now, after millions of years underground, and the rays that forced them beneath the earth to begin with having seemingly ceased, they have finally returned to reclaim the earth’s surface for their own. At it’s disposal, it has incredible technology, and giant cyborg dinosaur monster in it’s quest to wipe out the newcomers, the human race, to achieve total dominance over the Earth.

If you think this premise sounds very generic, and you’ve seen it in some form or another in countless other Mecha series, you are not wrong. Ancient evil group attacking the protagonists, and only the new giant robot can stop it, probably the biggest stock plot in mecha overall, having been done in everything from Neon Genesis Evangelion to Megas XLR in some form or another. The set pieces and details are different, but the overall plot is the same.

However, where Getter Robo fits into this, is that it was one of the first giant robot manga there was, and many, many of the tropes and ideas it pioneered would be used and imitated by its successors.

In fact, I would argue that Getter is the second most influential mecha series in history, only second after it’s big cousin, Mazinger Z.

However, we are not here to detail how it influenced the manga industry, but how Getter holds up on it’s own, and in this regard, despite having a plot that has been overused time, and time again by it’s successors, this isn’t really that much of a problem for Getter Robo. Because like any good Mecha series, Getter’s biggest strength is it’s cast of characters.

Starting off in chapter 1, we are introduced to the first of the Robot’s giant pilots.

Ryoma Nagare.

Each of the pilots of Getter Robo is given an introductory mini-arc to set them up, and Ryoma’s is easily the best of the 3.

We are introduced to the main character of most of the franchise at a very unusual spot to open a main character, especially for a Shonen protagonist.

At the end of a revenge story.

To put it bluntly, Ryoma does not start off this series as a particularly likeable, nor good person, as his introductory scene is him crashing a perfectly legal martial arts tournament and beating the everloving shit out of it’s referee, it’s participants, and the judges who arranged it.

His reasons for doing all of this?

Revenge for his old man.

As it turns out, Ryoma had a massive beef with the arrangers for this contest, as his father, Ichigan Nagare was a pro karate champion back in the day, whose reputation was purposely destroyed by those arrangers.

Now he’s come to take revenge by utterly crushing their disciples on national television, to hammer in the point that his father’s martial arts was superior to theirs for all the world to see.

During this whole thing, we also get a very good look into how Ryoma thinks at this point in time.

When the arranger tries to appeal to the “Sacredness” of the Sport to get him to stand down, Ryoma laughs in his face, proclaiming that there is nothing sacred about combat at all. The only thing that matters is who emerges as the victor.

This is backed up by how he doesn’t show the least bit of compassion or honor to the first of the contestants he defeats, easily smashing him to the ground then gloating over him after having demonstrated the sheer difference in the combat prowess between the two of them.

He is very blunt about the fact that he believes that one should pursue strength for strenght’s sake alone, and never stop until you have crushed anyone who stands before you. Always train to get stronger, and always seek out those who can challenge you and beat them too.

Might makes right.

This is a REALLY good introduction for showcasing Ryoma as a character. How he thinks, his immense near superhuman strength, his ruthlessness, his pride in his own strength.

It also ties in directly into the themes of this series, as this kind of thinking is essentially Evolution itself boiled down to it’s bare core. The survival of the strongest. What is the point of Evolution after all, if not this? Those with the traits to survive and thrive will do so, while those who cannot, will be crushed by those who can, who in turn will pass down what made them successful to begin with.

Of course that is not what the actual message of this series is, but it is a concept that this series is rather blunt about, and it’s not a coincidence that the most prominent of all the main characters of this series began his journey while believing wholeheartedly into that ideal.

All in all this scene is just great, and it sets up Ryoma really well, as well as making it clear that this is a boy who has a lot of growing to do as a person.

And so, having achieved his life’s work that he’s trained for for years and years, Ryoma nagare quietly leaves the arena, leaving behind a dozen bruised, battered and broken men on the ground.

Of course this display of power has not gone unnoticed, as in the audience were two men from the Saotome Institute who came here hoping to find someone strong enough to pilot their giant robot.

As it happened, they just found one that fit the bill rather spectacularly.

Then in the next scene we are showcased Ryoma’s home.

Ryoma Nagare, a fighting genius that at the tender age of 16-17 smashed the greatest karate practitioners in Japan with ease while being outnumbered a dozen to one, lives in a ramshackle part of town, in a rundown old building that has broken windows, a leaking roof, and can at best be called a ramshackle cottage.

It’s a rather brutal contrast to the sight of the prestigious, well made and maintained karate tournament building we were just in.

Inside we find the sight of something else rather unusual for a Shonen protagonist. Having now achieved his goals, and avenged his father’s memory, Ryoma is slowly starting to come to the realization that this has all been one giant waste of time. He hasn’t actually earned anything on this journey. His father is dead, he’s still poor, and his only belongings is this shitty building and the clothes on his back.

As we learn here, Ryoma has spent his entire life being trained in martial arts, to insane degrees even for an adult man, much less for a child. All for the purpose of one day doing what he did today, and avenging his father’s memory.

This scene really hammers in the fact that for all his ridiculous strength, Ryoma is a child, and he has a child’s way of looking at things.

He thinks back fondly on being pitted against stray dogs in death matches, and he reveals here that in his mind, this was all about “Redeeming” martial arts somehow, as if this display would really change anything in the grand scheme of things within the sport.

It wasn’t of course. This was all about revenge. Everything Ryoma ever trained for was for this moment, this moment of what should have been absolute and total triumph as he achieved a truly spectacular victory and proved his father’s fighting style the best in all the land and he has proven that he himself is the strongest fighter in all Japan.

Instead he is coming to the realization that so many people that wasted their lives on vengeance have come to over the years. That it was all a giant waste of time.

Revenge is a suckers game.

Having achieved his goals, Ryoma has found them to be completely empty, and has nowhere to go. This is a really fascinating way to open up a character arc, as usually a character that learns the lesson that David Xanatos knew so well, happens either at the end, or somewhere later down their line. Ryoma however, learns it in the very first chapter, and now has to find something else to live for.

However, his soul searching is then interrupted by a few gentlemen from the Saotome institute.

Who immediately tries to kill him.

Now before I discuss the next part, I wanna praise this overall scene, because it really works great within the context of this chapter.

Ryoma has been introduced as a massive asshole, who firmly believes in the mantra of Might makes right, and he doesn’t feel any regret at having brutalized a dozen of innocent people, just the fact that he realizes that there was no real satisfaction to be had from it. Now the other shoe drops, and HE is attacked in his own home, completely unprovoked for reasons that frankly he has no personal involvement in on his own side. While this attack does have an in universe reason behind it, it main purpose is that it serves as a nice cathartic moment for the reader, as while he’s never going to legally punished for what just happened at the tournament, he is punished by the narrative for his actions, which is something i’ve seen far, far too many stories do over the years fail to do with asshole protagonists.

It also serves to put Ryoma’s current belief in Might Makes Right to the test. After all, aren’t these men doing exactly what he said that those who practice martial arts should do? Seek out those stronger than them, then crush them.

All of this makes it a shame that it is horribly undercut by the one, genuine stain on the original manga. Namely that one of the attackers is this guy.

And it’s at this moment you realise, oh yeah, this was made in 1970’s Japan. The unfortunate fact is that Mangaka of this period generally based their depiction of black people on early American comics(Which had plenty of this kind of artwork), and Ken Ishikawa was unfortunately not an exception to this rule.

He would THANKFULLY not repeat anything like this later down the line(his depiction of black people is far more natural and realistic in later manga), but hot damn is it both uncomfortable and distracting to read the pages with this guy. And it’s a real shame too, because frankly, not only is the following fight scene very good as a narrative punishment for Ryoma, but it’s just a good fight scene in general.

Unlike the Tournament fight, which was mainly a beatdown to establish Ryoma’s ridiculous strength, this is an actual fight, which showcases Ishikawa’s ability to draw energetic, exciting fight scenes where action flows very naturally.

It also shows that for the kind of ridiculous strength Ryoma possess, he isn’t some superhuman, as early in the brawls he’s heavily wounded by the rather mundanity of taking a throwing knife to the shoulder. This is in general something that makes action if Getter Robo stand out from other shonen series too. When characters, or Robots for that matter, takes hits, they rarely shrug them off with no problem, instead taking real, genuine damage that doesn't just instantly go away. They might power through them, but that isn’t the same as them disappearing into the ether.

In any case, the battle ends up outside the house when Ryoma is thrown through the wall.

He’s then forced to do the classic, catch the blade between the palms of his hands trope, which is depicted much more believable than most cases I’ve seen, as despite succeeding, it still left him bleeding from those palms.

Ryoma then redirects the blade into the big guy who is attacking him from behind, killing him. I really love how the artwork sells that this is a desperate move on Ryoma’s part. He is genuinely fighting for his life here, and he’s pulling out every trick he has to to win despite his wounds.

He then follows that up by ripping the blade out, and throwing it at the knife thrower guy. I also like that after doing so, he immediately falls flat on his ass, in a rather realistic manner(he is fighting in the rain after all, so the ground is undoubtedly pretty slippery.), while also showcasing the force of the throw. My only main complaint is that for this one panel Ken forgot to include the wound and the knife on his shoulder, as I think it would really sell just how desperate Ryoma is here if we’re visually reminded in the moment that, oh yeah, he’s powering through and using the arm whose shoulder has a knife in it to to throw this thing.

Thankfully, that missed opportunity for visual grittiness is more than made up for by the next part.

Having now effectively won the battle(I think the swordsman broke his foot in the fall, at least that’s how it looks), Ryoma suddenly realises that, holy shit, he just killed someone. The contrast between here and how he looked as he challenged the tournament fighters couldn’t be more different. The cooky, arrogant youth is completely gone, and you're reminded that Ryoma is just a kid. A kid who just had to kill someone. The bravado is completely gone, leaving only a kid who is tired, confused, in pain, and probably pretty scared.

He is then approached by the man who just had 3 grown ass men jump and attack him, Dr. Saotome.

Wounded, and mentally exchausted as he is, he is in no position to argue as Saotome declares that Ryoma is what he’s been looking for, and as one of his men rips the knife out of his shoulder, Ryoma screams before losing consciousness from the pain. Afterwards he is dragged into a car, and bandaged up.

Then as they're driving, the’re attacked by a giant flying dinosaur that grabs unto the car and flies away with it, Ryoma and Saotome barely managing to get out in time, alongside one of Saotome’s unlucky goons who breaks his neck in the fall.

And so ends Chapter one of Getter Robo.

All in all, other than the horribly racist black guy, this is a really good first chapter, that sets up Ryoma Nagare really, really well, showcasing his way of thinking, his origin, and where he needs to grow, while also showcasing his ludicrous strength, and that he is fully capable of going balls to the wall to win a fight, which will be showcased many, many times in this series. It also ends on a reminder of the fact that oh yeah, this is a series about one side vs dinosaurs, as Ryoma gets his first introduction into the enemy he will be fighting time, and again in this manga. It also gives a distinct first impression of just how ruthless Saotome is, as he is perfectly willing to send 3 dangerous goons on a teenager just to test his prowess in battle, which is absolutely going to come into play in future chapters.

All in all, it’s a good start. Not an amazing beginning, but certainly a good introduction to our first main character.

#Getter robo #getter robo retrospective #ryoma nagare #character study #getter robo manga #dr. saotome

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dreamingaboutreid · 3 years

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Hospital Bed Confessions: Chapter 5

*Flashback to 6 years ago*

Spencer’s POV

(Set in a time where Maeve ‘died’, Emily is alive but at Interpol, and Blake is still on the team)

Spencer never liked change. He was definitely more open and less hostile than Garcia, but he still wasn’t a big fan.

It seemed like the more people came into his life, the easier it was for them to just leave. First his mentor Gideon left, then his girlfriend Maeve died, then his close friend Emily died but came back to only leave again, and it seemed like Blake, someone he connected to, was going to leave as well.

So when there was news that another linguist was going to join the team, he wasn’t necessarily thrilled.

“I guess the new girl is coming in today,” Derek said as soon as he came into the pit.

Spencer had already unpacked and was settled in his desk.

“Heard she’s taking my old office,” JJ joined.

“So she’s getting an office before all of us,” joked Derek.

“Isn’t she a linguist?” asked Blake as she entered the mini-circle that had formed in the pit

“I don’t know much but apparently she’s taking on different roles, including choosing cases since Hotch has a lot on his plate right now. I found out when Hotch asked me to take some of my stuff out,” replied JJ.

“Guys, guys, guys!” Garcia exclaimed as she ran towards us with a huge smile.

“I’m guessing you did a full background check on the new girl,” said Derek.

“First of all, she’s not ‘new girl’. Her name is Y/N. Second of all, yes, I did and she’s clean as a whistle not to mention she’s literally a genius. And third of all, she’s AMAZING and I love her” ranted Garcia.

Garcia’s energy shouldn’t have surprised Spencer but he was slightly taken aback by how welcoming Garcia was to the new recruit.

He also swore he had recognized the name.

“Woah, woah, slow down, baby girl. How do you know all this?” asked Derek.

The team moved in a little closer to hear the information Garcia had. Everyone was protective over the team and wanted whatever intel they got.

“Well, she came in super early today and she waited in my bat cave, which she said was the ‘perfect amount of unicorns and glitter’, by the way. I knew right then and there she was perfect. Then, she introduced herself and told me that she’s a new profiler and helping Hotch with some of his duties. She wanted to get to know me since we’ll be presenting cases together. Isn’t that just wonderful?”

“Anyways, she going to be perfect on this team. She graduated high school at 15, went to Chesapeake Bay University, got a BA in linguistics and psychology at 18, was recruited to work for the military for 3 years, then got her Master’s in linguistics,” Garcia said excitedly.

“Wow, that’s impressive,” said JJ.

“Looks like we’re going to have another genius on the team,” Rossi joked as he seemingly popped out of nowhere.

“That’s quite the introduction, Penny. Not sure if I can live up to that,” an unfamiliar voice said with a smile.

All eyes turned to the woman that joined the circle.

“Damn. I thought she’d be more ‘Reid-like,” muttered Derek under his breathe.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Spencer asked with a slight frown.

To be honest, Spencer was surprised by her as well. When Garcia introduced her, he did expect her to look… well.. like him? But her style was closer to JJ and Emily’s. He quietly chastised himself for letting certain stereotypes get to his head. He should have known better.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you all. Sorry to sneak up on you. I just thought it’d be a good time to say hello to everyone,” the agent said.

He could understand why Garcia had taken such a quick liking to her. Her smile practically lit up the room. He, along with everyone else, couldn’t help but reciprocate her smile. She had a mix of golden retriever energy with a sense of calm and grace that shouldn’t go together but was somehow executed perfectly by this new agent.

“Hello, I’m Y/N and I’ll be joining your team starting today.”

Everyone went around the room to say their greetings and shake her hand.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid,” he said as he quietly stared at her outreached hand.

“Is it the pathogens or the contact?” She asked curiously.

Spencer was slightly stunned. Everyone had always given him a weird look whenever he refused to shake hands. No one really cared, or as a matter of fact, asked to really why he didn’t. He just babbled a random fact to dismiss the awkwardness. Yet here was this new agent who not only gave him an understanding gaze but seemed genuinely curious to his apprehension to shake hands.

“Pathogens. It’s safer to kiss actually,” he replied after falling out of his trance.

Before he could ask her any more questions, someone beat him to it.

“Wait, didn’t you interview Johnson Meyers and Michael Weller?” asked Blake.

“Haha, yes I did. After doing a psych eval, I was lucky enough to talk to them further about their childhood and their trigger to start killing,” she replied.

That’s where he remembered the name from.

“Didn’t they specifically ask for you? They turned down everyone else for an interview,” Spencer said, once again quite shocked but impressed. This woman was getting more and more intriguing.

He had read her analysis a few weeks back. It was always informative to read about serial killers and their thought processes. While not all serial killers were exactly the same, evaluating their patterns and MO’s helped build new profiles to categorize potential killers.

But her interview was one of the most thought-provoking reports he had read in a while. Not only did she get the infamous serial killers to confess their crimes, but she built a rapport that allowed her to delve deeper into their psyche. It was truly a fascinating read, and he had searched up her name to read further reports. He found out, to his surprise, that it was one of her first reports.

“Yeah, I just got lucky,” she said humbly.

Spencer, along with the team, quickly became keen to the new agent, and he soon learned that she truly did live up to her introduction.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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I don’t get you, CJ. Why are you so quick to throw around the term “bad writing” when you don’t agree with something? Why not simply chalk it up to having different likes or dislikes than other people and move on?

Instead of deconstructing characters you don’t like, why not use your platform to empower other voices and highlight others with different tastes or opinions than you? Different people notice different things about the games. That’s one of the nice things about fandom.

You clearly love writing and analysis, but when you post answers to asks that hold different opinions than you’re own, you often go “you’re valid, but…” and launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs of your opposite opinion rather than truly exploring theirs.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I think your blog and analyses would be stronger if rather than dismissing plot points or characters as “bad writing” you step outside yourself and ask others what they see in that writing since it’s not connecting with you.

To be fair, anon, I don't get me either.

But I hear you, so if you'll allow me to do the thing where I launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs, let's talk about this.

I assume this might've come about because of the recent Violet talk here? Or maybe it's from older posts, I dunno, you didn't specify so I can only speculate and use the Violet posts as the main example here.

So here's the thing... deconstructing characters and storylines is something I enjoy doing. Hell, it's one of my favorite things to do. It doesn't matter if I like or dislike the character, or if I agree with plot directions, or if I think it's "good" or "bad" writing. That's how I work things out for myself, how I try to understand why I'm feeling the way I am about certain characters and story elements. I break apart the different aspects of these things and analyze them so that I can improve the content I create and try to avoid the same mistakes I've come across that I wanted to be better.

When it comes to me tossing around "bad writing", or just implying it, I'm not trying to say that "bad writing = trash, garbage, unenjoyable, anyone who likes this is a dingus, how could you?" it's more "I see flaws here and I want it to be better, I know it can be better and it frustrates me that I can't fix it," y'know?

And I'm fully aware that other people might not see it that way. With that basketball Violet post, I know that a lot of the Violet crowd are gonna read that and be like "no, I love the bell tower scene! It fits well with her character! What are you talking about?" and that's fine, I expect that. That post was me writing something that's been on my mind that I wanted to share, it wasn't me trying to scold anyone for liking it or trying to dismiss their feelings about it.

When it comes to differing opinions, especially on Violet, I've come to the conclusion that we just gotta agree to disagree. I've tried for years at this point to understand the appeal of Violet and gone looking for answers about her in hopes of being enlightened, and I have asked around.

In the past, I have made posts inquiring about what people see in Violet [Minerva, too] and why they prefer Violentine, and I got little to nothing in response. So I totally get where you're coming from when you say I should ask others what they see in the writing that I don't, but there's only so much I can do when no one is willing to answer me. So, I have to look around myself.

I've searched through several threads on reddit and none of them have been insightful, unsurprisingly.

That's what sparked my mini-rant about Louis before. On reddit, a lot of the answers on why people like Violet are either "she sided with Clementine, she's just really sweet deep down, she has more trauma, and lesbian," or "I like Violet more because Louis is a traitor," and what the hell am I supposed to get out of that, y'know? They're not really telling me anything, they're just looking to argue among themselves and I've had to throw in the towel on that one.

I've had better luck here, having read some truly insightful posts about Violet, her arc, and her relationship with Clementine. The conclusion I've reached it that the things people find appealing about her are things that I don't.

If you need an example, we'll use the aftermath of Marlon's murder when Violet turns on the group to defend AJ. Every post from the Violet crowd I've read that talks about that scene praises her for turning against her friends/family to defend AJ when they were gonna attack him, it shows what she's willing to do for them, that's something that drew them to her. Then there's me, who sees that as adding unnecessary aggression to the situation when none of them were going to attack AJ, they weren't looking at AJ, and none of this is helping. Neither of these interpretations are wrong.

Guess what I'm trying to get at is I'm one person, and having discussions takes more than one willing person.

Moving on, "when you post answers to asks that hold different opinions than you’re own, you often go “you’re valid, but…” and launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs of your opposite opinion rather than truly exploring theirs."

I've thought about this for a while, and maybe I do actually do this but don't realize it. I like to think that I'm engaging with the ideas that people send me, but I dunno, maybe I can be dismissive of things because I have a hard time being objective. That's something I've always struggled with, and I'm sorry if I ever came across as dismissive or didn't fully explore ideas, that's something I can definitely get better at.

As for "why not use your platform to empower other voices and highlight others with different tastes or opinions than you? Different people notice different things about the games. That’s one of the nice things about fandom."

I've done character nights, ship nights, season nights, etc. for about two years, give or take. That's what those nights were about. Usually, I'd put up a poll and we'd all vote on what we wanted to discuss, and then the floor was open for anyone to give their input, and we'd discuss.

I stopped doing them a little while ago because I was burnt out on themed nights. Remembering to make new polls, setting aside part of my weekends to spend hours answering asks the best I could, usually dealing with other projects on top of it all.... it may not seem like it, but god, those nights took a lot out of me. I loved doing it! Having those discussions were some of the best parts of running this blog, but now my new job has me working 40+ hours a week, four days with ten hour shifts and occasionally some overtime on the weekends, I just don't have it in me anymore to do it every single weekend. Not with how tired I am and with all the other projects I'm working on.

That's why I've started testing the waters with these shorter posts of me throwing out ideas or going on mini-rants. They're something simple I can do with no pressure, just me with an empty document getting whatever's on my mind out... and it helps that it feels like my last fuck has just flown away to the heavens to weave itself into the boat god's beard like as he sails among the clouds and stars..... so now I'm gonna talk about whatever I want and the fact that it's my opinion is implied.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a little defensive with this part, I tend to get that way whenever people tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my blog, even if they're just trying to be helpful and I don't believe you have any ill intent with your message. I've had this blog for three years now, and I've always had people telling me I shouldn't do character analyses, I should stay in my lane, just write fanfics and do character nights. I should answer more asks otherwise people will think I don't care. I shouldn't write headcanon posts, that's what other blogs do and I'll be taking content away from them. I shouldn't write that one au I've always wanted to because I should be working on [with you]. I shouldn't write anything but [with you.] I shouldn't talk about Violet because I'm a Louis blog.

And that's dumb. All of that is dumb! No one owns the concept of headcanon posts or character analyses! Just like how I don't own the concept of character nights!

Again, my last fuck is lost in Kenny's beard, I don't have it anymore. I'm going to write and analyze whatever I want, when I want, and the best I can do is promise to be better. My inbox is open, I'll try to answer and engage with you guys when I can, I'll keep doing these posts where I ramble about whatever topic is on my mind, and I shouldn't have to put a disclaimer of "This is all my opinion and it's okay if you disagree, I'm not trying to invalidate you" because that's implied.

Before I close out this long response, I do wanna add a thank you for the ask, I do appreciate the constructive criticism. Usually anons that have any problem with me after I talk about Violet will just call me a piece of shit and tell me to delete my blog. Maybe this helped you, maybe it didn't, either way thanks :)

#asks #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet

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emmys-grimoire · 3 years

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Lesson 52 - Bittersweet Pseudo-Memories

It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was good for what it was?

When we last left our heroes, they were having their intimate moment intruded upon by Big Majestic Chicken Lucifer, who demands to know who they are. You can try to evade the question, but he continues to be an asshole and you have to relent and continue to pretend you and ‘Sully’ are angels. Lucifer pretends to believe you and proceeds to make you do his chores.

Lucifer proceeds to complain about Raphael dumping all his work onto him and Satan implies that Lucifer is letting the other angel bully him... and he’s not actually wrong. I’m not sure why Lucifer just couldn’t say “no” -- it’s not like he isn’t willing to in other contexts.

But Satan also can’t help himself, and it’s very clear early on that Lucifer knows he isn’t an angel. We are escorted to the library to sort books.

NEEEEEEEERD. Satan is a natural librarian, of course.

Lucifer continues to opine about his situation and Satan continues to needle him about it. There’s a cute moment when Lucifer admits there are few angels he can turn to for help or advice, and by contrast he feels Satan might be worth confiding in because he’s a fellow level-headed intellectual.

D’aaaaw. My only complaint is that he doesn’t really do this in the story; it’s only now being brought up for a bonding opportunity. The most we get is acknowledgement that Lucifer has a high opinion of Satan’s wealth of knowledge and expertise... he hasn’t really taken advantage of it.

It could be because the Avatar of Pride doesn’t feel he needs advice from anyone else.

The book comes up again, but...

It’s used as a trap to capture ‘Sully’ and reveal he is what Lucifer suspected he was: a demon.

Yeah I did but the game insists I be an unobservant moron for the plot to continue.

In my lesson 51 analysis I theorized the numbers in the title of the mysterious book related to a particular Bible verse meant to encourage believers to keep their faith, and while I can’t be 100% sure that’s what it was meant to allude to, this exchange seems to suggest it could have been. This arc is meant to instill Satan with more faith in Lucifer, because he’s constantly doubting his intent throughout this lesson.

But we discover that Lucifer has changed from who he was before we startled meddling in time travel dreams, by his own admission. You can probably make a good guess to who is responsible for that change (it’s actually not MC, though, believe it or not!).

Yep, it’s Diavolo.

Diavolo doesn’t act the way Lucifer expected a demon to behave and it’s confusing him.

But he likes him, and he has had some time to digest that. Glory Days Lucifer would never have admitted this to anyone, let alone strangers.

D’aaaaw.

Lucifer then turns his attention towards MC and asks about what they are. If you’re truthful, you get this interesting tidbit of information:

Michael has been scoping out Solomon before the Great Celestial War. Whatever for, I wonder? I don’t think angels offer pacts, and I suspect Solomon was a bit of a troublemaker even before he was given Michael’s ring.

My guess? Michael is Solomon’s guardian angel. It is probably the closest equivalent to forging a pact that angels have.

Yeah... I just told you I was a human lol.

A HUMAN.

(Nah I know it’s pretty obvious that we’re SPECIAL, at this point.)

Lucifer takes us to Simeon and the brothers, who are gathered in presumably Michael’s observatory-to-be. Lucifer decides to hi-jack Michael’s fun and steals the first chance to see the human world’s night sky for himself and his family. It is projected onto the walls of the room.

You can suggest Michael might be mad, and Lucifer makes it clear he gives no fucks.

The other option makes him explain he believes he’s owed this because Michael keeps making him go to the Devildom and never volunteers himself lol

The brothers marvel at the spectacle, and they wonder about the stories behind each constellation. Mammon suggests Michael likely knows all about them, and Satan proceeds to nerd out again AND POTENTIALLY STEALS THAT MEMORY by making himself the one who teaches his brothers about the stars.

But, it’s Satan’s at his best, and he enjoys it thoroughly.

You and the brothers eventually doze off, and Satan wakes you up to share some private reflections.

Cute.

You realize Lucifer and Simeon are nowhere to be found, and run off to go see what they’re up to. They’re having a private moment of their own.

Simeon’s happy but sad. :(

Yeah. I’ll have more to say about this particular moment in my analysis post. There’s a noteworthy parallel at play here.

Ruh roh. I think Simeon and Michael may have suspected Diavolo played a part in pushing Lucifer away from the Celestial Realm. If given the opportunity, I sense Simeon may have tried to talk him out of this doubt.

But he isn’t given the opportunity! We pass out and the screen goes black, accompanied by some creepy heartbeats. When we come to, we’re back in reality and in the care of Luke and Mammon.

Wow you guys had an exciting time being shoved offscreen didn’t you?

They puzzle over what transpired and Luke and Mammon confess they don’t remember anything of what happened after they stepped into the fake House of Lamentation.

Furthermore...

I was correct in my theory that it was an illusion, but it seems it was the work of regular ol’ fairies and not some creepy banshee. That was a red herring, apparently. It’s even more anti-climatic than expected.

Additionally, Satan unknowingly covered himself in fairy crack before he dropped in.

My question is: how the fuck does Simeon know all this? Did he hang out with fairies once upon a time?

They decide to give up the hunt for the fairy ring and return home.

NOOOO THEY MADE LUKE CRY

If it were up to me I would have gone back and punched some fairies into submission until they forked over the ring, Luke. I’m sorry!

Of course, there’s not enough sleeper cars now that Simeon and Satan unexpectedly joined the party. Guess what they proceed to fight over!

You flex your pacts to make Mammon and Satan stop squabbling.

Are we sure Lucifer and Michael are the only angel sadists?

Simeon takes an unusual amount of delight in the suffering or discomfort of others lol

I think he’s just much better at hiding it.

Either way, it’s obvious he’s bothered by something, and after some deflection and prying he finally fesses up.

Michael and Simeon want them back BAD.

We finally get our first opportunity to get all sappy with Simeon here.

Well I was right about which trial this was supposed to be, at least!

Luke and Mammon are on the roof squabbling about constellations again.

You’re treated to a mini-quiz about them. Have Google at the ready.

You find out there’s a constellation involving the seven brothers in the Celestial Realm, that was created (or at least named) after they fell.

They begin to theorize what the other three stars may represent. Mammon thinks it’s Michael and the stars represent his face.

Satan chimes in with a much better take.

I think Satan’s mostly right, but the stars represent Diavolo/Michael/MC specifically: the three “guardians” of their respective realms, all of whom have deep connections with the brothers.

Solomon can also count as a guardian, but I don’t feel he has the same connection with the brothers that those three have.

And it turns out this was two trials!

I completely forgot that generosity and gratitude were two of the virtues Solomon listed, so it’s not a complete copy of the seven virtues. But hey, it’s now four down and three to go!

We have eight more lessons to complete the remaining three, so we have plenty of time. But... what about the overarching plot? I was certain that something in this arc would finally jumpstart it, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

But... maybe there was something hiding in there? I’ll go over the more important bits in my analysis post.

There’s still plenty of lore they haven’t covered re: the Celestial Realm and most of it has just been fluff. Satan’s creation remains a mystery: so far we’ve learned the Seraphim are assholes and Lucifer is overworked, but the latter is nothing new and I highly doubt that inspires enough visceral rage to make Lucifer absolutely hate his dad. We don’t know how the war unfolded and we don’t know why Simeon was demoted from his post. How things went is a big determining factor in trying to deduce Michael’s part in everything, and what he’s currently planning.

I’m hoping they get around to all the juicy bits, but I don’t know...

#obey me #obey me!#obey me lucifer #obey me simeon #obey me satan #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me spoilers #obey me lesson 52 #commentary

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feralnumberfive · 3 years

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The Rewatch Academy: Episode 3 of Season 1

“Extra Ordinary”

I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it's funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04 |

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

☂ First off I’d like to say that this is one of my favorite episodes of this season. It’s just soooo good

☂ The second comic book in the window features the Televator from the actual comics, so that has to be canon in the show! Also at the time that that second comic came out, Five had already left since we don’t see him on the cover

☂ It’d be cool if they actually printed Vanya’s book for fans to read

☂ Well Diego isn’t wrong when he called Hazel and Cha Cha animals because of their masks

☂ Honestly I feel Vanya’s struggle with chair placement. I’ve fortunately had the luck of playing in all three clarinet chair placements, but 1st chair is challenging. I personally found each placement very fun to play, especially 3rd, and I hope Vanya does too! (why am I talking like she’s real)

☂ Hazel talks about people living ordinary lives, but didn’t he live like that too at one point? How does The Commission recruit people? If they get ordinary people, do they wipe their memories of their previous lives?

☂ “Let’s see’em get out from behind their desks, get their hands dirty for once.” Well Hazel, Five does indeed do this even though he only had a desk job for a day. Still, he got to experience both worlds

☂ My mind is blanking on this, but how did Five get that cut on his arm? Was it from a bullet wound at Gimbel’s?

☂ Five must have a high pain tolerance to stitch his own wound but his bandaid probably wouldn’t stick due to the wet blood he slapped it over. Five sweetie you need a cotton pad and gauze for that one

☂ Wait, you’re telling me that The Umbrella Academy boys’ top uniform consists of a tank top, a white dress shirt, a tie, a sweater vest, and then the blazer? Someone asked Reginald what he wanted for the uniforms and he just said “Yes.”

☂ Five: *puts hands in pockets only to immediately take them out*

☂ Aidan almost sounds like he has an accent when he says “I'm done funding your drug habit.”

☂ Five’s so soft talking to his wife

☂ No Leonard, your bread and butter is being a creep

☂ Also, he thinks wood carving is embarrassing? If someone came up to me and showed me something they carved out of wood I would be so jealous cause it’s such a neat form of art

☂ Leonard saying that he carved wood, and in that case wooden figures, when he was a kid is a slight foreshadow of all of his tampering with his Umbrella Academy figures. He can make wooden figures but he’s also destroyed a handful of the Hargreeves figures

☂ “Never really did like The Beatles.” Well sir you’ve made me dislike you even more

☂ Vanya asking Allison if her siblings wanted her at the family meeting bugs me a bit. I absolutely get that she was literally left out of anything and everything that had to do with her siblings when she was younger, but Allison just asked her to come back home for a family meeting. Allison wouldn't have walked around looking for Vanya only to tell her that they were having a family meeting and that she wasn’t actually invited. Allison is including her in on a family meeting but Vanya is just in a bit of disbelief that she’s being included

☂ Ah yes, the only PTSD flashback for Five we see in the show! He looks so scared when he snaps out of it. I believe it was somehow triggered by the kids (I could be wrong) but do you think Five sometimes panics when he looks at himself in the mirror now since his body is the same age it was when he got stuck? Also it’s very subtle but when Luther opens the door, Five slightly jerks/flinches back. I wish we would see more of this in the show since it’s one of his major traumas

☂ “Does it matter? It’s Klaus.” Ouch! Well Five I hope you know that your siblings are somewhat thinking the same thing since they believe that you’ve lost your mind and are practically an old man crying “Apocalypse!”

☂ Five does an ever so slight huff and smirk when Luther tells him that the meeting at the Academy is important. He finds it a little funny but so frustrating in his mind that Luther doesn’t know what’s truly important

☂ Also I love that Aidan has to turn to the side so that he can keep it together after Klaus talks about his chocolate pudding waxing. Either that or he’s portraying Five as being frustrated and in disbelief. Also this is the first time I’ve noticed that he says “Ay, ay ay...”

☂ “We’re all you have. And you know it.” Oh Luther, you’re failing to see that that’s why he’s acting like this right now. He’s all frantic and crazed about trying to stop the apocalypse so that he can protect and save all that he has

☂ Five certainly is mad at Luther during his mini lecture. He’s clenching his jaw tightly and when he first speaks he hisses out the words through gritted teeth. He even called Luther by his number. He’s very impatient at this point and doesn’t care for Luther’s act of attempting to be a leader

☂ This is their first, and certainly not last, time watching Klaus go by in front of them doing something he shouldn’t be doing

☂ “You haven’t been home in a long time, Vanya.” Sir you were also just on the moon for four years. Yeah Vanya was away for a long time but Grace easily could have changed too during the four years you were gone

☂ How sweet, even though Five hasn’t really been home they want to include him in on the family vote :]

☂ I’ve noticed that in S1 that David really mumbles his lines. A lot

☂ I wish we got more flashbacks of the younger Umbrellas

☂ Diego my beloved mama’s boy ♥️

☂ It’s confusing as to which country TUA takes place in, but it’s really not supposed to be a specific one. It’s portrayed as being in North America, but you can see behind Cha Cha when she gets out of the car at the Academy the flag of the RAF, which Canada would have at a monument since it’s a Commonwealth country. At the same time though Delores came from Gimbels, which was a department store chain across the U.S

☂ The light above Five’s portrait is slightly crooked, which probably means no one has really been paying attention to it

☂ It makes me nervous that Klaus wipes bubbles onto his face. It looks like he got some in his eyes

☂ Ugh I love the whole scene of Hazel and Cha Cha walking around the Academy with “We’re Through” playing

☂ Diego: *has knives but instead chooses to punch and hit Hazel to try to make him let go of Allison”

☂ A rope-a-dope is a boxing tactic of pretending to be trapped against the ropes, goading an opponent to throw tiring ineffective punches. Diego sweetie Hazel wasn’t even trying to get you off of him all he was doing was choking Allison. The only person who got tired was probably you

☂ What’s the point in Diego yelling “Luther, go!” if he’s already going 💀

☂ Luther was there immediately when Hazel attacked Vanya. That means that Luther heard Vanya and was going to go get her to safety

☂ I will never stop signing my praise for the entirety of the “Sinnerman” fight scene(s). It gives me chills every single time. Easily one of the best scenes in all of the show

☂ Klaus must really have his music blasting if he can’t hear the gun shots right next to him

☂ I’ve always wondered if Allison actually registered in her mind that “The boy” is Five when Cha Cha says that’s who they’re looking for. Either she does realize that’s Five, is simply just angry that those two are looking for a boy, or registers in her mind that it’s Five through his superhero codename even though Cha Cha’s not referring to him in that way

☂ Diego is full on just standing in the background watching Allison get beat up by Cha Cha 🕴

☂ I love Diego’s little hand flap when he gets hit in the hand fighting Cha Cha

☂ Okay so I make everything about Five, but the whole Cha Cha fight scene with Allison and then Diego kind of scares me. Cha Cha and Hazel are both amazing assassins (they’re both probably right below Five) and neither Allison nor Diego could stop her by themselves. Could you imagine Five fighting one of his siblings? Especially with his spatial jumps? We already got a glimpse of his true combat skills when he fights Lila in S2. What a scary little old man

☂ “Vanya, get out of here!” Again, wanting to make sure that Vanya is safe and gets away. He even tried to go look for her

☂ Something I don’t really get about the Hazel and Luther fight is why doesn’t Luther just overpower him? Luther has super strength and on top of that he has giant muscles due to the gorilla DNA. Shouldn’t he be able to beat Hazel to a pulp? Maybe we have to consider that Hazel might have been altered by The Commission to be stronger and more durable, but they haven’t mentioned that in the show

☂ “Ah, you gotta cut down on that fast food, soldier.” What are you talking about Diego he literally just got off the moon two days ago aflksjfdk

☂ So Luther was too injured to jump out of the way of the chandelier but was able to push it up off of himself? 🤔

☂ I personally think that Luther’s body design adaptation for the show is really cool and that they gave him the perfect amount of bulk without making him look ridiculous

☂ This has been pointed out before, but cross-stitch foreshadowing, baby

☂ Again, Diego my beloved mama’s boy ♥️

☂ Well at least Diego thought about Vanya dying before thinking about his siblings dying because of her. The latter is ironic!

☂ The clock above Luther’s mirror reads approximately 1:30 am. Hazel and Cha Cha didn’t want to wait until morning

☂ I wonder how different it would be if Five was present at the Academy when Hazel and Cha Cha attacked. He probably would have surrendered himself to them, but it's fun to entertain the idea that he would go apeshit if he knew that they were harming his family in order to find him

☂☂☂☂☂☂☂

Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!

#tra #the rewatch academy #tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #number five #five hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #hazel and cha cha

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emotionalgirl101 · 4 years

Text

Zone | Changbin

Scenario; possible mini series Pairing: Changbin x reader; 3racha fic Summary: Your assignment is due in a week, and you and your assigned partner can’t seem to agree on anything. Or can you? Warning: Soft dom!Changbin, arm kink, subtle power kink, fingering, marking, hinted voyeurism - Smut 16+ Words: 3,222

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Tonight was not your typical Wednesday night. Usually, you'd be spending time in your dorm, curled up on the couch with a quick-to-make dinner, maybe watching tv or talking with a friend or two. However, it was getting close to exam season, meaning all your assignments were due at the same time. Luckily, you only had one left and it was due next week. That's why you were at the boys' dorm.

You had been paired with Changbin, which you didn't mind at all. You had spent most of the semester sitting at the same group table in your class. You wouldn't say you were that close, but you would say that he was a friend from class that you saw occasionally. Changbin was funny. He had a great sense of humour. He was on the stoic side at times and took to sarcastic humour for a bit of fun, but you'd caught him a few times being cutesy and embarrassing himself in front of his close friends. He didn't know that, though.

You were locked up in the boy's room, since his other housemates were in the main living area when you arrived. Changbin had clearly anticipated this, with the desk space already set up for the two of you upon your arrival.

You hadn't really started on anything. You had both chosen the topic together with ease, but the disagreements started when the conversation turned to how you were going to approach the essay. You believed the question was asking for both an analysis and opinion. Changbin was adamant that there was no opinion needed.

"It says it clearly right HERE! 'Discuss how you would be affected by the causes of-"

"No," he groaned out of pure frustration, "it's 'you' as in 'people', as in 'humans' in general. Not what you personally-"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME FINISH READING THE QUESTION!"

"I DIDN'T HAVE TO! NOW KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN OR SOMEONE WILL COME IN-"

"NO! YOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE-"

"Me?! Unreasonable?! Your the one jumping at an answer when you haven't even gotten a reply from the tutor yet!" He lowered his voice but the venom was clear.

You were so exasperated, you were going to scream. You opted for whisper yelling so you wouldn't irritate his dumbass even more. "Well, why don't we explore both options and then continue with the CORRECT one once we get a reply?!"

"We can't afford to! We have so little time that we're both free. Can't you just accept your misreading the question."

"I AM NOT."

"SHUT your mouth before someone comes in here." He growled.

If you were being honest, you loved when he was riled up. You remember the last time you heard him like this. You guys were walking to your cars after class. You turned to walk down the next corridor when you found two students in a very heated, very public argument. You could tell from the body language, the unrest in the clenching of their jaws, both of their arms crossed and staggered breathing, that it was going to go down hill fast. You hadn't realised that one of the guys was Changbin's roommates.

You didn't know the full story at the time. The guy had been harassing their younger roommate, Jeongin. It seemed like this guy never shook the jock mentality from high school, and Minho had finally had enough. He stepped in to protect Jeongin. The more the asshole talked, the harder it got for Minho to not snap.

"Shit," Changbin swore under his breath. Wordlessly, he left your side. You thought he was crazy for getting involved. He immediately stood between Minho and the guy, facing the unfamiliar boy with his arms out patiently in front of his chest and bag still slung over his shoulder.

"Look, you both need to cool down," his head swung towards Minho, dressing him down as well. You were hopeful that this move made it clear to the aggressor opposite him that he wasn't taking sides. "let's move this somewhere else." He went to usher them into the secluded courtyard nearby, still being the only thing separating the two involved. Changbin eyed them both constantly, making sure nothing happened would while their guards were supposed to be down, and you followed behind them cautiously.

You kept a little distance, watching a younger boy, Jeongin, follow your lead. You heard footsteps and voices fading away. If it weren't for classes commencing at this time, you were sure the crowd would've followed. There was something about people gravitating towards drama that no one understood. It seemed a little part of everyone enjoyed spectating.

Changbin had dropped his bag near were you stood, leading the main culprits to the centre of the courtyard, and began to mediate. Well, at least he tried.

It was clear that the guy no one knew had a short temper. Every time Changbin uttered a word against him that made perfect sense, his nostrils would flare, and you could imagine his vision turned a bit more read. When Changbin did the same against the other, Minho, the boy would smirk with some sick sense of satisfaction. Minho kept a straight face throughout the whole exchange. This first perception of him being the mature one was quickly shattered once you met him properly.

Out of nowhere, the antagonist shoved Changbin when he wasn't focused on him. He barely stumbled and his eyes quickly became trained on the slightly taller guy. His tone was menacing. "Don't you dare. touch me. or my friends. again." He growled, "Now get the fuck out of here before I show you what i just saved you from." The guy's face when pale. Just like you, he noticed the unintentional and subtle flex of Changbin's toned arms when he seethed with anger. He near bolted out of there, Changbin's gaze following his every move, before they locked onto you. That turned you on way more than you liked to admit.

Ever since, whenever you played 'Short Kings Anthem', you thought of him.

You took a second to recover, and a victorious smirk spread across his lips. Whether it was the fact he thought he'd one or he noticed that you faltered, you didn't know, but the annoyance was right back at the forefront of your mind now. "Fine." you managed through gritted teeth. "See? You know i'm right. You're just too stubborn to admit it." "Bite me." You muttered, turning back to the desk. "Where?" "What?!" He cackled seeing how flustered you were at the unexpected response. Your eyes were boring into the desk. "I'd say 'fuck you' but you'd take the wrong way, too." "What if I take it the right way?" He whispered in your ear. His voice was low again but didn't harbour the same angst as before. The effect was still the same. You squeezed your thighs together and tried not to fall into whatever trap he was setting. Then you felt his hands. His left arm was situated on the back of your chair, but his right hand took purchase on your thigh. His hand gentle rubbed at the clothed flesh, getting higher and higher, teasingly. You released a shaky sigh. His right hand coming to pull back your hair that was obstructing the side of your face. You knew he liked it. He liked seeing you flustered. The control he had over you. How your cheeks were dusted pink and the rest of your complection paled. That you had to control your breathing, biting your lip to stop anything from slipping past them. He enjoyed how you could meet his eyes. You could feel his breath tickling over the flesh of your neck. His hand was still making it' way up your thigh, closer and closer to your heat. His other was playing with your hair. His hand finally reached your covered heat. You closer your eyes and willed yourself not to give in. His lips ghosted over your ear. "Stop biting your lip." His tone hit you again, a moan rolling out as you let the plum flesh go. You could feel is smirk when he pressed his own lips to your neck, ever so gently, barely touching the skin. You gasped softly. He did it again, this time with more veracity. You responded instantly, more notes being pulled out of you with every touch. "Those are the moans I love to hear." You could feel how wet he was making you. Every touch made your skin burn, a sense of lust taking over you. You had leaned back against the chair, relaxing into his control. His fingers kept playing with you over your clothes and kisses being peppered up and down your neck. You let your eyes flutter open, his arm perfectly in your line of vision, as your neck was craned away from the man beside you to allow him more access to your neck. You watched his muscles flex as he continued his movements. His veins lightly visible from the prolonged attack on your core. You moaned at the sight, slightly bucking up into his hand. He chuckled between kisses, slowly drawing back to see what sparked the reaction. He caught on quickly. He rubbed your clit with his thumb, testing his theory, and was satisfied when you bit your lip. Your eyes were glued to his arm. "Arm kink, huh?" You whimpered as he purposely flexed for you. You gasped, allowing your right hand to latch onto his thigh. You saw him swallow nothing. That didn't help you in your current situation. Your eyes moved to his face, narrowing in on his lips. As if he read your mind, he leaned in. The first kiss was gentle and warm, the ones that followed were heated and passionate. You moaned against him when he increased the pressure on your clit. You broke free of his lips, resting your head beside his own on his shoulder and your left hand came up to tangle in his hair. He continued his movements from before, kissing your neck and rubbing at your core, as you whimpered and gasped and every touch. You didn't notice the other set of eyes on you. Your right hand moved up his leg and began palming his hardened length through his jeans. He let out a groan, "That feels good, princess." and your breath hitched. You continued like this, both of you slightly picking up speed, until Changbin noticed how your breathing became more ragged. You could feel yourself slowly shifting from a simple sense of pleasure into how you felt when your orgasm began to build. Your eyes were shut and mouth agape when Changbin slowed his movements and pulled away from you. You almost whined until he reattached his lips on yours, allowing his tongue access when he wordlessly begged for it. He stood you both up without ending the kiss, arms moving to feel up the rest of your body. You found yourself exploring every inch of him, too. He kissed along your jaw, and your fingers tangled in his hair once again. "Do you want to keeping going, princess? Do you want more?" You whined out your consent as he gently pushed you back towards his bed. He rid you of the clothes on your bottom of half, stripping himself quickly as you tore off your other layers. You lazily let them fall to the side of the bed and onto the ground. You didn't notice the slight movement through the gape in the door. You lay back as Changbin climbed on top of you. He kneaded your breasts and left marks on your decolletage, never ceasing his movements as you wrapped your legs around his and tangled your fingers in his hair. You moaned a little louder than before. You bit your lip again, lifting your free hand above you to grip onto the sheets. Changbin looked up at you, taking your chin in his palm so you would look into his eyes. He removed his and, never breaking eye contact and moved it to your heat. The sight only making you wetter, whimpering when two fingers entered inside you. He moved them slowly at first, eyes never leaving yours, biting his lip at how much of a mess you were becoming. His pace increased. So did your moans. The drowned out the soft sounds coming from the doorway. Your orgasm was starting to build again. It was written all over your face. However, as much as Changbin wanted to please you, he had something else in mind. He pulled his fingers away from you and two his lips, smirking as he saw you already and your eyes on him. He reached into the draw of his nightstand as you whined protests from the loss of contact. "Binnie, please. I need you." He groaned at how need you were. A similar sound came from the hallway. Once he finished, he returned to you, stroking his protected length as he lined himself up. He leaned over you, "Remember, not too loud, princess." You nodded as his face came close to yours. "Ready?" he smiled warmly. His action contradicting how sweet his tone was, as he slammed into you before you could reply. Simultaneously, his mouth swallowed the cry escaping your lips. His grind started of slow enough, your face contorting in pleasure. You both tried to stifle your sounds with messy kisses and bitten lips. Changbin reinitiated his assault on your torso with his lips. Your hands scratched and clawed at whatever parts of his body you could get at. "More." You sung. He obliged, picking up the pace, but it wasn't enough for either of you. He sat up, pulling you with ease onto his lap. He gave a few shallow thrusts, focusing on the sensation of your lips on one another's. He went back to your neck. You arched your back. You through your head back, revelling in how it made you feel. You didn't feel his stare. Changbin's patience was waning. He picked your whole body up, still decorating you with kisses, especially on your face. Still inside of you, he pinned you to the wall, holding you up effortlessly. Your fingers traced his biceps and vienes. You clenched. He hissed yet smirked at your actions, enjoying you taking full advantage of his supply to your kink. "This might hurt a bit, baby." He hushed, moving a hand behind your hand. Then he slammed into you. The new angle did wonders, exploring every place within you. You couldn't stop the moans and cries leaving your lips with every thrust. He went harder and faster, your audible pleasure spurring him on. He started groaning and growling in time with your whimpers and sighs. You felt the pressure building, your eyes blurring, trying to focus on the shadow by the ajar door. You couldn't focus, not with how good Changbin was making you feel. You choked out a warning, trying to prevent yourself from being so loud. You pined for relief. For him. For the feeling that he would allow to wash all over you. You finally reached your high, in synchronicity with him. He rode out the feeling for both of you. Once both of you were satisfied, he returned and laid you down on his bed. You both basked in the afterglow, limbs wrapped in each other. Bated breath. Tingling sensations hitting you like waves on a shore. After a few beats, you dared to sneak a look at your counterpart. His eyes were already on you. You shared a tired, knowing smile, alone in the room. He leaned in and kissed you. You returned it without question. He smiled at you again, brighter this time. He then moved, still on the bed, grabbing some tissues. He returned to your side. "When I invited you over, I was only 70% sure this would be the end result." he said nonchalantly, being gentle to touch you, understanding how sensitive you were. The tissues in his hands used to clean you were tossed into the bin soon enough. You scoffed, "70%? Really? You're that confident." "I remember how you looked at me that day i threatened that asshole for going after Minho and Jeongin. I saw you. I saw how turned on you were. You pressed your legs together, then walked away like it was nothing." You were taken aback, almost chocking on air. "I-- fuck you, Seo Changbin." "Round two, already?" He teased. You hit him playfully, watching as he pretended to wince in pain from the blow you just struck. "Go freshen up in the bathroom. I'll check if the tutor replied yet." Ahh, yes. Even as amazing as that was, your hot sex couldn't fuck away the assignment lumming over your heads. You dressed yourself, accepting the oversized shirt and sweatpant Changbin gave you to change into. He told you there was a spare towel in the cupboard. You stepped into the hallway, mind left you reeling from what just happened and how good you felt. Though, at the same time, you couldn't help but fear the embarrassment that would come from being called out by one of Changbin's roommates. With that thought in mind, you were quick to collect yourself and almost sprinted to the bathroom closes to Changbin's room. You made a sharp turn, colliding into some. Great. You looked up to see Jisung. He seemed nervous, or maybe that was you. "H-hi Noona, um.. sor-sorry I'm in a rush. I'll see you later." You chalked the stutter up to him freaking out over being late to wherever he was going. You prayed to a higher power that he hadn't heard you. You weren't exactly close with Changbin's roommates. You knew them all, but were only really close to Chan and Minho, Changbin aside. Speak of the devil. Chan announced his arrival with a slight cough, eyes meeting yours in the mirror as he leaned on the doorframe. "Hey Channie~" You sung, hoping to sound like your usual self. You retrieved the spare towel and tried to just casually but the spare clothes from Changbin to the side of the sink. "Don't act so innocent, I heard you" You winced. Who were you kidding. The neighbour probably heard you, so of course Chan did. That's when it sunk in. Fuck, hopefully Jeongin wasn't poisoned by the filth of what happened behind Changbin's bedroom door. You let out a shake groan of self-reproach before looking back to Chan's smirking reflection. Sometimes you hated how much he teased you. Then again, you made it easier for him. Especially with the events from the same evening. Your next words came out a bit pained. You didn't really want an answer to them after all, did you? "Did the others-" "Lucky for you," He pushed himself off the frame, arms crossed, "most of them went out awhile before it all started." A sigh of relief. You felt a bit better that it seemed to be just Chan who cottoned on. "Well, I hope you enjoyed it." You deadpanned, watching as he decided to leave you be and tossing his last words over his shoulder. "Oh, well I know someone did." -----------------------------------------------

A/N: This was my first smut and I plan to write more since it wasn’t as awkward as i thought~ Credit to the owners of the few prompts I used and I’d love it if people have requests to please submit! I’m having a mental block with Question atm so I wrote this to hopefully stir up some creativity. If you like this please check out @skzsmutnetwork for more!

latest | Zone II (Teaser)

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unsaidholland · 4 years

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maybe in another universe | h. holland

this is supposed to be pt. two to the sweater, but you don’t need to read that before reading this!

warnings: alcohol consumption but everyone is of legal drinking age, a little bit of angst(?)

harry holland was still on your mind five months after your break up. he was still the love of your life and nothing could change that. as much as you missed him you guys were over, nothing could change that. everything reminded you of him, as it should have after spending more than two years together. you couldn’t help but wonder if he still thought of you.

autumn leaves had already begun to fall. you were sitting on your bed, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders to keep you warm, as you were working on an analysis for your statistics class. you missed the way he would keep you company while you were doing your schoolwork. you missed the way he would remind you to take breaks when you were too motivated to stop, or when he would get you to focus when you lacked motivation. you missed the comfort of his company, you missed him. after saving the document, you shut your laptop and thought about him. but if the universe wanted us together, then we would’ve stayed together. in an attempt to distract yourself, you headed to the kitchen to make yourself a snack and a cup of tea.

“things will get better,” you said in a failed attempt to make light of how you were feeling.

hours later you found yourself getting ready for a party. allie had texted you half an hour ago saying that she was coming by your place at eight and that you guys were going to go to a party that a mutual friend of hers was throwing. you wore a black mini dress, did your hair and put on some makeup. after putting your heels on, you looked at yourself in the mirror and felt confident.

you poured a shot but a knock at your door prevented you from taking it. you opened the door to see allie standing there. her tanned skin practically glowing under the porch lights, and her red dress hugging every curve of her body. she looked like a goddess, and she knew it. “hi lovey!” she pulled you in for a hug. “are you ready to go?” you looked back inside at the shot glass sitting on your counter, but instead grabbed your bag and phone and nodded. “great! let’s go!” you followed allie as she got into a car, an uber perhaps, and then you were off to the party.

bodies flooded the house. as you and allie shoved your way past you found yourself searching the room to see if anyone else you knew was here. before you knew it, you and allie found yourselves in the kitchen pouring and mixing your own drinks. mostly vodka, very very little of anything else. your eyes scanned the room looking to see if harry was here, but you didn’t spot him.

“you know, y/n, you need to stop acting as if you’re gonna run into him everywhere! just relax dude, have fun!” allie said, taking a sip from the red solo cup in her hand shortly afterwards. you followed her actions, taking a sip of the mostly vodka, barely anything else, concoction that you had made. scrunching up your face at the taste, you looked around the room for some exit - there for not even 5 minutes and you already wanted to leave.

“i still don’t understand why you dragged me out here allie.” you took another sip of your drink, suddenly thinking that this odd mixture tastes good.

“you are gonna have fun tonight and you are gonna thank me, babe. trust me.” a sly smile appeared on her face. though she didn’t have anything planned, you could tell that something was going to happen. you wanted so desperately to go back home and work on an essay for one of your classes. you wanted so desperately to get out of here and go get some fast food, then go home and binge-watch new girl. you didn’t want to be alone, you just wanted to leave the party.

the cogs in your brain started turning as soon as she gave you a look that screamed she was scheming. what in the world did she have planned? you thought. you leaned back onto the granite countertop, deep in thought when it suddenly dawned on you. she’s going to get me absolutely wasted.

allie grabbed your hand and led you out of the kitchen, through the sea of bodies yet again to where everyone was dancing. blinding lights by the weeknd was playing through the speakers as you and allie sang along and moved to the beat. for a while, it felt like all of your concerns had left your body and all you were focused on was dancing with your best friend. swaying your hips back and forth. you were drunk, but you were having fun. you forgot that you were heartbroken, that was all you needed.

•••

harry holland walked into the pub with his friends and brothers. they sat down at a table near the back of the pub, as per usual, and ordered a few beers. ‘guys night’ was what they had called it, but harry wasn’t dumb. he knew he had been sulking for too long and they were trying to take his mind off the breakup. it had been five months, but the wound was still as fresh as ever.

“we’re just gonna have a few rounds and then go to drew’s party, yeah?” sam asked. of course he knew the plan, but he was making sure that his brother knew the plan. harry nodded in agreement, but he didn’t know why they didn’t just pre at their house, or how they even knew drew. harry stayed in the dark with his questions.

harry looked around the dim pub as if his eyes were searching for an escape. he may not of had any work to do, but he wanted to spend the night watching netflix with tessa by his side. harry was never one to turn down drinks and a night out, but he was out of it.

tom snapped his fingers in front of harry’s face, breaking his thoughts and bringing him back to the conversation.

“you alright there?” tom said lightheartedly, a gentle laugh being let out.

“yeah i’m fine.” the drinks had arrived just as harry finished his sentence. he grabbed one and took a long sip of the alcohol, hoping that it would loosen him up and make him more present.

the group quickly went back to their initial conversation, except harry participated this time around.

“do you even know who’s gonna be at drew’s party?” tom asked, taking a sip from the beer in his hand. the truth was, no one knew who was going to be there.

drew was one of sam’s friends that he had met through a girl that he was seeing at the time. even after she and sam decided that they weren’t really meant for each other, he and drew stayed close. drew had a reputation for throwing huge parties, and they were the best parties. though harry didn’t want to admit it to himself, he really wanted to go knowing that he could take his mind off of y/n and find another girl in place of her.

a few more drinks and an uber ride later, the boys found themselves outside of drew’s house. it wasn’t extravagant, but it was a little bit larger than harry, tom’s, and harrison’s shared house.

they walked up to the door and let themselves in. sam led them down a hallway, pushing past the crowd of people so they could enter the kitchen. as they walked in and started pouring their own drinks, harry couldn’t help but notice the couples sprinkled about the room, making out with no shame. he was ashamed to admit it, but he wishes he had someone with him so he could be one of those couples.

sam handed him a red solo cup filled with a mixture that was sat in a cooler. harry didn’t know how long it was sitting there for, but it was still cold, and that’s all he needed. harry downed the drink, handing the now empty red cup back to sam for a refill as all his friends looked at him with wide eyes.

“mate, he just handed you the cup, what the fuck?” harrison said. the whole group was shocked. it wasn’t a secret that harry was more likely to get wasted at a party, but they’ve never seen him like this.

sam handed harry back his cup, now full, and said, “don’t you dare down this, i’m not getting you another drink and i sure as hell won’t be carrying you home.” though sam would willingly give up a kidney for his twin, he didn’t want harry to turn into an alcoholic. he was one of the few people who know how bad the break up was for him, and he really didn’t want harry to have a bad time tonight because he was dwelling. somehow sam knew that harry was going to be okay tonight, but that didn’t stop him from worrying.

•••

four drinks later, you and allie had teamed up for beer pong. the table was set up in the backyard of whoever’s house you were in. it had been a few hours, and you still hadn’t figured out who owned the house or whose party you were at, but the important part was you and allie kicked the other team’s ass. it was a glorious moment for you, and in it, you completely forgot about harry holland.

you were very obviously drunk at this point. after almost falling over multiple times while you and allie made your way back inside the house, your eyes landed on harry. he was with tuwaine, harrison, sam and tom. you wanted so badly to believe that you were imagining this, but as tuwaine noticed you and allie, he immediately stiffened up.

harry had a cup in his hand and was leaning against the countertop. the black bomber jacket that you used to steal was the only thing you processed about him before allie pulled you into a quieter area of the house.

“shit, babe i swear i didn’t know he was coming or that he was even invited. i’m so so sorry y/n.” allie said. she was freaking out as much as you were, but instead of freaking out with her, you brushed it aside.

“allie, seriously it’s fine. let’s get another drink, get me wasted, dance a little bit, and then let's go to a twenty-four hour macca’s!” the alcohol was clearly speaking and acting for you as you dragged allie back into the kitchen, which was now holland free, grabbed two cans of beer and handed one to allie. you opened your can and took a large sip. the plan was in motion and nothing was going to stop you. allie looked concerned for you, but she knew there was nothing she could ever do to stop you once you’ve gotten this far. allie knew the night wasn’t going to end well.

the two of you made your way back to the dance floor and began dancing with each other. the sound by the 1975 was filling your ears, you and allie singing loudly along with it.

as the song ended you decided that you couldn’t stay inside any longer, so you and allie went out to the back where you had played beer pong earlier. it was much quieter than the loud and bass-heavy room you were previously in, much cooler too. you’d had enough of the sweaty bodies pressed around you, so you and allie went to the back of their backyard and sat in some empty chairs.

you had begun to go on about how you were sure you weren’t going to remember much from this night, transitioning into questioning how much you had to drink. allie laughed at you as you tried to count on your fingers, but failing to add up the total. then there was comfortable silence between the two of you. the occasional cheering from the beer pong players accompanied by the conversations that other people in the yard were having had calmed you down. you looked up at the sky, a little cloudy, but you could still make out a few of the constellations that decorated the night sky. it was well after midnight at this point, but it felt like the night was just beginning. you looked back at allie who smiled at you, and you smiled back with your red lipstick stained lips.

•••

harry stumbled down the steps as he decided to call an uber back to his house. after seeing you, he decided that the universe was giving him a reason to go home and be alone. he was also a little bit too drunk to hold his own and any reason to leave was a good reason.

as the copper curly-headed boy walked up to the sidewalk he noticed two girls talking. one wearing a red bodycon dress, the other wearing a black dress. they were clearly invested in the conversation, but as the red dress wearing girl, she froze. harry’s eyes widened as he realized who she was. to ease the awkward tension between him and the two girls, one of whom still didn’t know he was there, he gave allie a small smile which she returned.

if he had known the girl who he was still in love with was going to be at drew’s party, he wouldn’t have shown up.

allie had walked away without harry knowing, leaving y/n alone with him. they were standing out on the sidewalk alone in silence while harry was struggling to call an uber. harry let out a quiet, ‘fuck,’ as he realized his uber was 15 minutes away. he sighed and quietly laughed at how badly his night was ending. harry looked to his left to see y/n still standing there.

“so, how was the party for you?” y/n asked. allie forced you to talk to him, bribing you with a nice bottle of rosé and a fresh baguette, things that y/n could easily buy, but just didn’t want to. the offer was impossible for y/n to turn down, mainly because you were a sucker for wine.

harry looked at the girl next to him, confused that you were talking to him, but relieved that they weren’t left in awkward silence.

“it was good,” he paused for a second before continuing, “wait, how do you and allie know drew?” harry moved to sit on the edge of the sidewalk, and you followed his actions.

“drew is one of allie’s mutual friends. i think she knows him because of hayden greene, not sure though.” silence reentered their conversation, but this time, it was more comfortable for the both of them. minutes passed before you spoke up again. “i’m gonna be honest with you for a second, i only went because allie dragged me out here. she said i was wallowing in self pity.” a small smile appeared on your face and you gently shook your head knowing that allie was telling the truth.

“sam planned our little escapade. honestly, i’d rather be on the couch with tess right now watching netflix or a film that i’ve seen one too many times.” he sighed realizing his brother’s efforts had failed to distract him and had failed to give him a night free of you, but he was glad he saw you and was talking to you. “there’s not a day that goes by where i don’t think about you, you know that?” a small chuckle left his mouth. he was looking at her, hoping that you would look back at him, but you never did. eyes focused on the road in front of them, eyes on the lawn of the house across the street from drew’s, eyes on the sewer grates, eyes on everything but his brown ones. “i really miss you.” the alcohol was making him say this, but his words were nothing but the truth.

the desperation in harry’s voice was evident to you.

“i miss you too h.” you tilted her head to look up at him, and for the first time that night, you had a good look at his face. your eyes focused on every freckle that appeared on his skin, his lips, on every curl that you once swore was perfect. “you know, maybe in another lifetime we’d still be together h.” you let out a small laugh. ever since the breakup, you’d blamed everything on yourself. you’d convinced yourself that if you hadn’t made the decisions that you did near the end of your relationship that he would still be with you.

harry looked down at the road under his white high top converse, taking in the words you had just said. his eyebrows furrowed as confusion took over his thoughts.

“why can’t we be together in this lifetime? i know our breakup wasn’t something that either of us wanted.” he looked back up at you, shifting his body slightly to face you better, and you mirrored his actions to face him. he took your hands in his, his thumbs running over the backs of your hands as if he was trying to memorize them for the last time. “can’t we fix us?” harry was pleading at this point and he knew it, but he just wanted you back.

“harry, i-“ the uber pulled up to the house.

“come with me, we can go back to my place and talk this over. i’ll uber you home afterwards. please, just come with me y/n.” harry searched your eyes for any sort of opposition, but he didn’t find anything. you nodded and stood up. harry opened the car door, and after confirming that it was his uber, you both got in.

the ride back to harry’s place was filled with silence. you texted allie apologizing for leaving without her, but you promised her that you’d tell her everything that happened. the good and the bad.

after getting into the house, you quietly sighed in relief after taking your heels off. harry was now shoeless as he led you into the kitchen. you sat on a barstool, forearms resting on the countertop that capped their kitchen island. harry’s back was facing you as he grabbed two glasses of water in an attempt to sober you both up. you so desperately wanted more alcohol in your system, doubting your abilities to talk to your ex without the liquid courage.

“harry, i still love you. i really do, but didn’t we break up for a reason?” you couldn’t look at him. being the first to break the silence, you were sure your hands were shaking a little bit. they sat wrapped around the glass of water harry previously handed you.

“y/n this is the first time we saw each other in months, that has to be a sign!” his tone rose as he began to get really passionate. harry never believed in signs from the universe, but tonight changed everything. when he saw you at drew’s party he knew he had to do something, as if the universe was nudging him in your direction. “i know i never believed in the universe giving signs, but tonight had to mean something, right?” his volume dimmed at the end, as if he was getting too vulnerable and needed to retreat. you looked up at him, needing to search his expression. a sigh left your lips as you realized for the second time that night that he was wearing his heart on his sleeve just for you.

“i don’t know.” maybe the universe wanted the two of you to have closure from one another or maybe the universe was pushing you two to get back together. you couldn’t tell what the universe had in store for you, but harry on the other hand was sure that you two were supposed to get back together. he knew in his heart that this was going to be his last chance to get you back, and he was ready to put everything on the line for you. after all, he was still in love with you.

silence. no one said anything for what felt like an eternity. as you started drinking your water, harry started to bite his nails - a habit he had only when he was nervous. you picked up on this immediately and after putting down the glass, you reached over to gently pull his hand away from his mouth. your hand on his skin brought harry a familiar warmth that he didn’t realize that he was so desperate for. as for you, the feeling of your hand on his wrist only made you miss the feeling of his lips on yours.

enough was enough, you decided. you got up from the barstool and walked around to the other side of the kitchen island until you were inches away from him. he closed the gap between you, hands resting on your hips. your hands moved up to rest against his chest. the two of you didn’t need to say anything, you both knew what you wanted.

“i love you h.” your voice was so soft that you weren’t sure if he heard, but as a small genuine smile appeared on his face you knew he did.

“i’m never letting you go again y/n. i promise.” he lifted one hand from your waist, curling all his fingers down towards his palm except for his pinky and his thumb. you moved one of your hands to lock pinkies with him, then pressing the pads of your thumbs together to secure the promise.

“i don’t ever want to lose you again,” you said, moving your hands up so they rested at the nape of his neck, fingers playing with the curls that sat there. he leaned in to kiss you, and you met him in the middle. his lips were soft, the kiss tender. when you two pulled away from each other, he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you in for a hug. in that moment you decided that you were never going to let him go, not again.

#harry holland #harry holland imagine #harry holland fic #harry holland x you #harry holland angst

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

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Title: Partners {2}

OA Zidan/Zeeko Zaki x Reader

Warning⚠️: Cursing, Small Angst, Slow Burn

Words: 5.1k

Summary: You’re a damn good FBI agent in your own right. It is definitely partly to do with how well you’ve been trained and partly to do with you not letting anything or anyone distract you. You have a six-year plan that you’re fast-tracking for four. After being transferred from your office in Tampa you’ve been sent to New York which you’ve labeled the “big leagues”. On your first day there you were introduced to your new partner OA Zidan. It was then you realized you’ve moved out of the frying pan right into the pot of distraction. A year later and your rising attraction for your partner still hasn’t been snuffed out.

Note: If you’re thirsty and you know it clap your hands. Clap-Clap. If you’re thirsty and you know it clap your hands. Clap-Clap. I have no shame. This is a first for me writing about a TV show and interjecting into it. Let’s see how this goes. I hope you guys enjoy this mini-series.

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Three Days Later-

You weren’t supposed to be back at work until the following Monday, but you’d gotten tired of sitting on your ass and pacing your apartment. You’d watched all the Netflix and Hulu you could stand. You’d gone through episodes you were behind on and even gone through several movies you’d missed in theaters because you lived, ate and slept the bureau. You were so antsy that you’d even begun watching cop shows like Law and Order: SVU, Criminal Minds, and even a show called FBI. That was the only show that actually calmed your angst to return to work.

On several occasions, you’d ignored the orders of the doctors aside and worked out much longer than thirty minutes. It hurt yeah but you also knew codling yourself would make recovery a lot longer. It wasn’t a full-on shot to the gut, but it was a deep enough graze to keep you in the hospital for two days.

In those two days, you’d had plenty of time to think. Plenty of time to replay your conversation with OA. The thing with having nothing but time on your hands was that you were able to look at every interaction and conversation in a different light. After going over a year’s worth of endless time spent with OA you’d zeroed in on a handful of them that your imagination was working overtime seeing something that possibly wasn’t there.

He’d always been kind to you, always gentle and helpful. He took his time teaching you the ropes of how New York ran, tricks of the bureau he’d picked up since he’d been out of Quantico. When you were in the thick of things he always looked out for you. In the moment and thereafter you always deduced it for him looking out for his partner. Who wanted to live with a dead partner on their conscience? You’d thought it was him acting normal.

After a few months he’d started bringing you coffee in the mornings, each time it was something different, a vanilla latte, black coffee, cappuccino. You thought maybe he was bringing you whatever he got that day. When you thought about him giving you your exact coffee order your imagination began to think he’d done it all these months trying to figure out how you liked your coffee. When you thought that everything was under analysis.

You panted out as you bent forward trying to catch your breath. Today you’d run five miles and you were already feeling the pain in your stomach. It was four miles more than you’d been given the okay to do.

“Shit!”

It took you a good five minutes to catch your breath enough to keep going. After four days, you were now in that weird limbo place, where you were fifty percent sure and fifty percent thinking you were crazy. You didn’t know what to think. You did know that this was not what you were supposed to be thinking about. You didn’t leave Miami for a better opportunity to fall for your partner, especially not when you were so close to possibly a promotion. Still, it didn’t stop the butterflies in your belly every time you replayed his words in your head.

“I thought I’d lose you. I thought that was it and I lost my shit, Y/N.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

The way he’d said them with a quiver in his voice and the wild look in his eyes. The look of a man at his wit’s end. You’d seen the look before, several times, but on perps who felt they’d lost everything and were out of options. He had that look because you were hurt. More butterflies filled your stomach and you hated it.

“Shit, Y/N. Get your shit together. Do not make this a thing. It is not a thing,” you drilled out loud as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Your words were full of firmness and authority, but your face was anything but. You didn’t even believe your own words. Deep down you knew it was a thing because you’d fallen for your partner months before he’d spoken those words.

“Shit!”

An hour later you were walking into the office. A few people saw you and gave you a welcoming but concerned smile. You nodded your head and walked toward your desk. OA’s desk was empty as was Kristen’s. Oddly enough the office was quiet, or quiet compared to normal. Once you put your things away it began to bug you. even this was strange for the office.

“Hey Scott, where is everybody?”

“Emergency briefing in the boss’s office.”

You nodded, grabbed your coffee cup and made your way to Isobel’s office. Through the glass, Isobel saw you and beckoned you in. Once you stepped inside all eyes fell to you.

“Y/N. What’re you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here until Monday,” Jubal inquired.

“Yeah I know but I’m good. I am literally going insane at home.”

“I get that, but we have these rules in place for a reason. You need to heal,” Isobel protested.

“Isobel I’m good, I swear. My doctor even said I can go back to work when I felt ready. I’m ready,” you hammered home.

Kristen looked at Jubal and Isobel waiting for their response while they stared you down. When their eyes met they exchanged brief nods.

“Okay. Glad to have you back,” Isobel said as she signaled toward a seat. You sat and made sure to keep your eyes firmly away from OA.

Isobel continued to speak about a new case, an abduction. She gave all of you the details of the case and how they wanted to play it. You tried to focus on the case and not the sexy ass man that was in the room. It was difficult especially since you could feel his eyes on you and the unspoken tension in the room. You flipped through the composed file and familiarized yourself with the victim, a seventeen-year-old girl, daughter of one of the richest men in the city who’d been abducted in an alley in Hell’s Kitchen.

After the briefing, everyone poured out of the room off to their assignments. When you got to your desk you took up your lite FBI jacket ready to get a move on. When you turned, OA was right there. The two of you stared at each other for what felt like a minute but was only seconds. Neither of you spoke.

“You guys good?” Jubal stood to the side watching the two of you. You cleared your throat and side-stepped OA.

“Yeah, yeah, all good,” you stuttered.

“Good, get to the family’s house, see if they can shed some light on this.”

“Got it.”

You felt like driving so you’d have something to busy yourself with, but you knew OA liked to drive so you sat in the passenger side and skimmed the file again. When he got into the truck he hesitated for a few moments.

“Y/N--,” OA began before he paused. He turned the car on but didn’t pull out.

“Are you sure you’re good? I need you to have my back.”

Half of you was annoyed at him implying that you didn’t have his back, you’d always had his back.

“I always have your back. That’s what partners are for.” His eyes met yours for a second before he gave his signature tight-lipped, clenched jaw scowl and pulled out of the parking spot.

The forty-five-minute drive out of the city and into Hudsons on Hastings was relatively quiet. Besides the talk about the case, the two of you were silent. You wondered what he was thinking especially since that scowl didn’t slip once. He focused on the road and never geared his eyes off of it. Every so often your eyes skimmed his frame beginning at his tightly clenched hands on the steering wheel along his muscular arms and down to his bulky thighs. God, he was crafted to be a distraction, you thought. He was good looking to a fault, tall as hell, muscular like a God and was from what you could tell a great guy. He was a good catch—a great catch.

“All right we’re here.”

The two of you walked up the pristine walkway to the palatial house that was literally at the top of a hill.

“What’s a seventeen-year-old girl doing all the way in Hell’s Kitchen from here?” OA’s question made sense. What was she doing so far from home?

“Are you the FBI agents?” A redhead woman in a multi-colored wrap dress asked as she stepped out onto the porch with a taller gentleman with blonde hair on her heels.

“Yes. I’m special agent OA Zidan and this is my partner special agent YFN/YLN.”

You greeted the couple as they ushered you into their home.

“You have a beautiful home. You’re quite a far way outside the city,” you audible observed.

“Yes, we think it’s great to be outside of the madness that is Manhattan,” the blonde gentleman said.

You looked back to see OA scanning the interior of the home. He’d nonverbally given you the cue he was going to be the observer during this visit. The coupled showed you to another large room with matching seats. The home looked perfect as if it was magically created to be perfect. From experience, you knew impressions of perfection usually always came with deep dark secrets. You spent the next several minutes going through questions with the couple about their daughter, her home life, and school life. They candidly answered your questions and gave no hints to them being anything but deeply concerned parents of a missing child.

“Do you have any idea what your daughter was doing in Hell’s Kitchen?”

The couple looked between each other but neither spoke. OA asked the question again.

“We don’t know. Her school is here, it’s a private school. I don’t know,” the father said.

You believed him.

“Can we take a look around your daughter’s bedroom?”

The couple showed you to the room and you and OA slowly went around to find anything you could.

“I don’t know what to make of the mom,” OA voiced in a whisper.

“Why?”

“Too perfect. Did you see there was nothing out of place? Not on her and not in the room. Anyone who appears too perfect always has something to hide. You get that, right?”

Something about what he said rubbed you the wrong way. Turning to him you watched him moving from bookshelf to desk.

“What do you mean by that? Why would I get it?”

“You know, from experience.”

He definitely meant something by that. “If you have something to say OA, say it.” He turned to you but didn’t respond. He just had that scowl on his face.

“Nothing. Let’s go, found what could be our smoking bullet.” He held up two cell phones before he dropped them in Ziploc bags and walked out of the room. You were now annoyed.

~~~~~~~

Two hours later you’d spoken to the victim’s friends and checked the crime scene. Now you were at headquarters waiting for Kristen to come back with whatever was in the phones. You couldn’t get OA’s words out of your head. He was purposely digging on you. he thought you were too perfect, thought that you had something to hide. You didn’t know if you were more annoyed that he could see through you to figure that out or the fact that he could say that to you.

“You okay?”

Kristen walked beside you in the break room and placed her hand on your back.

“Yeah. I’m good. Thanks.” Kristen nodded and made a move to walk out.

“Kristen wait.” You sighed and shook your head before you began again. “Do you think I’m boring or too perfect?”

Kristen smirked and took you in for a few moments.

“Why?”

“No reason just—something someone said. Am I boring?”

“I don’t think boring is the right word. Maybe—focused.” You gave her a cold glare that she laughed at.

“Really? Focused is the best you could come up with?”

“Yes. Okay look, you are focused. It is clear to see you take the job seriously and have goals and a plan for yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. You take the job so seriously that you come off standoffish and—serious.”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Ah-ha, so not only am I boring but I’m a bitch.”

“No, no one thinks you’re a bitch,” Kristen corrected. You shook your head and rubbed your forehead.

“What does it matter what people think about you?”

“I don’t want people thinking I’m boring and a goody two-shoes who is this perfect straight arrow. I’m not perfect, I’m not a goody two-shoes either. I’m a mess, I--,” you stuttered.

“Y/N, calm down.” You took some deep breathes and composed yourself.

“Okay. Thanks, Kristen.”

“Y/N, we got a break,” Jubal informed peeking his head from around the corner.

Thirty minutes later you and OA were in a seedy part of town hunting down a lead in the abduction. CCTV caught images of the potential suspect. You could see movement at the front of the restaurant and saw your suspect walk out. He was laughing and talking as if he had no care in the world. In the back of the truck, you and OA were strapping on your protective vests getting ready to approach. You flinched as you came back up from your hunched over position and sucked in a breath. Looking over, you saw OA watching you with concerned eyes.

“You up for this?”

“Yep.” You pulled on your shirt over the vest and then your jacket.

“Y/N, before we head out there maybe we should talk,” OA began.

“No time.”

“Just like last time, no time?”

Your eyes met and again there was so much to say and no time to do it. Even if you wanted to talk you had no idea what to say.

“OA--.”

“I’ll take lead.” OA was the first to climb out of the truck and begin his slow walk to the restaurant. You followed behind making sure to check behind you. The two of you walked inside the restaurant, him surveilling around while you made it to the counter.

“What can I get ya?”

“A number seven, two and two number nines. Hmmm, what else, anything Pablo?”

OA looked at you with a “really” look. You knew he hated the name Pablo because of a case you worked with another agent who kept calling him Pablo since OA wouldn’t tell his whole name.

“Add a number ten on there, I love that garlic sauce.”

You nodded and looked back to the man behind the counter. He didn’t move, he just stared at the two of you until he made a move to throw a metal napkin holder to you. Ducking out of the way you reached across the counter to grab his head and bang it onto the counter. You heard the scuffling behind you and knew OA was taking on the two creeps that were sitting at the table to the door.

“I’m never talking!” You shuffled over the counter and kicked the perp sending him a few feet back. The fight was a dirty one, he threw things at you and was clearly out for blood. When he pulled a gun you kicked it out of his hand and brought his head to your knee. He groaned and got in a punch to your gut before sweeping his leg under you making you crash to the floor. The pain in your midsection distracted you long enough for him to make a run for it. OA was beside you a few seconds later checking if you were okay.

“Go after him, go!”

You still tried to catch your breath and get the pain under control as you secured the two idiots that dared fight a man that was clearly well over six feet tall and two hundred pounds. Every second that passed you worried about OA. You should have been with him running down the asshole, but you couldn’t. You were supposed to be watching his back and you felt like shit that you couldn’t. It didn’t take you long to recognize that the reason why wasn’t because he was your partner and you were supposed to be with him but because you were worried about his safety, you were scared for him and it went way beyond platonic.

When backup came around they loaded the idiots in the car. The bulletproof vest you wore felt restricting, so you peeled off the jacket and the vest to reveal your white tank underneath with a fresh coating of blood. A paramedic took you to the back of an ambulance and cleaned your wound that was now bleeding again.

When you walked back to the sidewalk it was then OA came around the corner carrying a young girl—the victim.

“Medic, I need a medic!” You hurried over to him; his shirt was covered in blood. You didn’t know if it was the girl’s or his. Panic set in again.

“OA, what happened? Are you okay?”

Two paramedics rushed over with a gurney in time for him to place her on it. once his arms were free you proceeded to check his body for wounds. You touched all over his chest, abdomen, and arms before circling his back to scan even more.

“Hey, hey, I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” you frantically announced.

“It’s not my blood, I’m fine.” Your eyes met and his words finally broke through. You felt his hands on your arms steadying you.

“Are you sure?” He nodded and you finally felt like you could breathe. You dropped your head and took several breaths. OA’s hand fell to your waist, you flinched then groaned. When he saw why his eyes were piercing into yours.

“Are you hit?”

“No, stupid stitches busted. I’m fine.”

“We have to get her to the hospital,” one of the paramedics announced. You watched as they wheeled the seventeen-year-old girl away.

“How did you--?”

“He led me right to her. He was trying to move the truck she was cuffed inside. Turns out her mother is her stepmother and she wanted her out the way so she arranged all of this,” OA informed.

“What?”

“Yeah. I told you behind perfection lies secrets. Come on, let’s get you checked out.”

An hour later you were back in the hospital getting checked out. This time OA didn’t let you out of his sight. Thankfully they allowed you to go home that night and OA was right there to take you. The two of you were in the elevator riding up to your floor in silence. When the doors opened, slowly led the way.

“You don’t have to do this. I’m a big girl, I can get myself home.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you can but I’d feel a lot better knowing I saw you get inside,” OA answered. Nodding you continued walking. You knew better than to try to argue with him. he was just as stubborn as you.

You unlocked your door and walked inside and turned to face him. “Safe and sound.” OA stood there silent just watching you. you watched as he sucked in his bottom lip and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” Confusion decorated his face.

“What? For what?”

“I didn’t have your back. You had to chase him by yourself. I was so winded I couldn’t—I should have had your back and I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, it’s fine. You got knocked on your ass. You needed a minute.”

“I needed a minute because I probably shouldn’t have been out there.” You groaned and rubbed your forehead.

“You felt ready, I’m not going to argue with you about it. I’m fine.”

“What if you weren’t? I thought that blood was yours and I was scared,” you admitted. Silence fell between you and the butterflies in your belly picked up.

“Why were you scared?” His voice dropped a few octaves and it made goosebumps tickle your skin. God, it was sexy.

“Because.” It was a whisper; it was all you could muster. Lowering your head, you averted your eyes. OA took a step to you, but it wasn’t enough to crowd you.

“Tell me.” You took a deep breath and began.

“I thought you were hurt, and I was worried, really worried.” Your eyes met again and neither of you spoke for a few moments.

“Did it feel like your heart was being squeezed? Like no air could come in and because of it there was a burning sensation but also a sharp pins and needles feeling? Did you feel like your life was slowly bring drained?” Every word he spoke fit how you felt to a T.

“Is that how you felt?” Slowly you nodded even though right now you felt overwhelming fear.

“Yeah, I felt it too. I felt it when I saw you take that bullet and every second until you spoke in the hospital. I felt it and so much more, Y/N.”

You had no words, so you remained silent. You just stood there staring at him and listening to your pounding heart.

“Jesus I don’t know how much more I can take,” OA began before he took another step to you. “For a whole year, I’ve tried to keep a wrap on this and remain professional with you. For a year I’ve had to pretend as if I don’t watch you in awe and amazement every day you do something incredible. For a year I’ve had to be this whole different way with you when all I want is the opposite.”

With every word, your breathing became even more erratic. You couldn’t believe he was saying what he was.

“You’re the crazy thing, Y/N. I know the rules and what I’m feeling are definitely against them, but I don’t care. I care about you.”

You plastered your hand across his mouth to shut him up. “Stop, don’t. Just don’t. We can back away from this night and pretend like it never happened and move on and keep things status quo. We can stop right now, and no one would have crossed any lines. We can do that just—don’t say those words.”

From the look in his eyes, you could tell he was not going to back down. He was going to commit and commit fully. Using one of his colossal hands he took your hand from his mouth, but he held on to it.

“I don’t think I can keep pretending. I’ve always known life is fleeting being in the military and in Iraq I saw how tangible life was and come here doing what we do day in and day out, I know life is precious. Seeing you hurt hammered it home. I don’t want to pretend anymore. I don’t want to leave anything unsaid, or anything undone. I want to do the crazy things I dream of. I want to live—but only with you. So I can’t keep things status quo and if you were honest with yourself you don’t want to either.”

Damn it, you thought. He’d spend a year learning you, reading you, doing everything they’d taught him at Quantico. He knew you; you didn’t want him to, but he did. Since he did he took another step to you. There was no professionalism between you now, that last step erased it all.

“I have feelings for you, Y/N, feelings I’ve held on to since damn near the day you walked in and brought Florida sunshine with you. I can’t go back,” OA confessed. In the process, he took your breath away.

The day you met him you knew he would be a distraction. You’d put up a good fight, but it was always a losing one. You saw that now, in this moment, with him less than a foot before you, waiting patiently for you to say the words he knew you felt.

“Tell me. Say the words,” OA whispered.

“This is crazy.” OA smirked and nodded. His hand fell to your waist and rested there barely touching you.

“Be crazy with me. Be imperfect with me.” His encouragement made the butterflies in your belly flutter more erratically. It was useless to fight it and fight your increasing feelings.

“I—have feelings for—you too,” you whispered. He searched your eyes as if trying to make sure there was no lie behind the words. Slowly he pulled to you him closing the gap between you. Your bodies barely touched but you could feel the heat coming off of him. slowly OA inched his head closer to yours until his forehead rested against yours. He released a relieved breath before taking another deep one.

“I have feelings for you, real ones that I’ve never felt before,” OA added. You nodded agreeing fully. “You too?” Again, you nodded. His smile was beautiful, it was the first thing that you fell for.

Slowly your lips move closer until they touched, but neither of you moved. You just remained still taking it in. After a few seconds OA was the first to really kiss you. The kiss was slow, timid and exploratory and you reciprocated every second of it. His hand on your waist held you tighter until your bodies were touching. The hardness of his muscled torso against your soft one had you moaning on his lips. OA mimicked the moan which had you both intensifying the kiss. OA’s free hand cupped your cheek before you felt his tongue delve into your mouth. It was like a dam broke. You passionately kissed him, holding onto his waist with one hand and gripping his back with the other. The feel of his moan against your lips made you want more. Slowly you pulled away.

“I’m not boring.” OA smiled.

“I know.”

“I can do crazy,” you continued. Again, he smiled and nodded.

“I bet you can.” You smiled and kissed him again while gripping his tie holding him to you. The two of you stood in your doorway full on making out not caring who saw. Every second that went by the more you wanted him and the more you were tempted to pull him inside your apartment. OA’s hand slid to your hip where he squeezed sending a fresh wave of arousal to sweep through you. Before the kiss got any more carried away OA pulled back from you.

“Wow. That’s what I’ve been missing.” You smirked and pinched your lips.

“I don’t want to rush you or take advantage. I’m not after just this, I want more.”

“How much more?” Again, his smile took your breath away.

“Everything.”

His confession brought you back to reality. While it was sweet it was also an awakening. He was your partner. Was everything possible? The bureau had rules, regulations, and policies. Dating your partner was strictly frowned upon. This could break your career and set you back years. Both of you must have thought the same thing because he even nodded his head while he looked down. He didn’t move though, he still held you to his body.

“So many nights I’ve had this dream. So many nights I’d stare out my window over the horizon and think about you here wondering what you were doing. I want this Y/N. I want you.”

Your eyes met again, and it was like looking through glass, his feelings were so evident so transparent. It spoke to you. you softly caressed his bearded cheek then kissed him while pulling him into your apartment. Reality could wait until sunrise.

You dropped onto the couch in your living room and made out for hours. His hands explored your body while remaining respectful as he got familiar with your lips and the sensitive skin of your neck. In between kissing, he confessed his true thoughts of you when he first met you, confessed how beautiful he thought you were. It was then he made you confess your thoughts too. From there the two of you went through your interactions together that both of you thought your feelings were so obvious.

It made you feel closer to him and even more attracted than ever. To think you both had felt this way from the very start and had denied it for so long was insane. Everything between you felt as natural as breathing, it never felt weird. You just fell into step like it made sense—you made sense. When talking was pointless you allowed your lips and hands to take over in the conversation. Of course both of you were tempted to go further but neither of you did. Besides dry humping on each other and kissing over places of each other’s bodies everything remained very tame. Every time you felt his hardness you were even more tempted than you ever imagined you would be. From what you felt you knew he was blessed in more ways than just appearances.

By the time you finally pulled apart from each other and stopped whispering, giggling and cuddling together it was nearing four-thirty in the morning.

“I’m going to leave to let you get a little bit of sleep,” OA whispered in between kisses.

“Okay.” Your response should have been the end of it, but it wasn’t. you kept kissing and caressing each other until another five minutes passed and you were back on the couch. This happened four times without accomplishing anything.

Finally, he walked to the door alone thinking it would be smarter for you to stay on the couch. When he turned to look at you again he smiled softly. “We’re doing this—you and me?”

You didn’t know what to say so you smiled like a schoolgirl making him smile widely. “All right,” OA said before he walked through the door only to come back to kiss you once more before hurrying out.

“See you soon.”

When he was gone you couldn’t stop smiling for a good ten minutes. You squealed in your couch and giggled like an idiot. It was impossible to stop. It was also disgusting how bubbly you felt. You felt lite and full of energy. It wasn’t until you’d managed to take out your badge and place it on your nightstand did reality come creeping back in. For the first time, your bubbly feeling slowly faded leaving a very sobering feeling that was very similar to dreadful worry.

“Fuck!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

Text

Alex ze Pirate “Mini Review” 1: About Male Abuse

Alex ze Pirate is in my opinion the WORST “comic” series Dobson has ever written up until this point (date for archives: June 2020). Sure, I agree with people that his “hot take” comics on Star Wars Fans, political issues and virtue signaling for the sake of making brownie points are worse overall cause they are uneducated propaganda that give insight in how much of a loathsome human being driven by spite he genuinely is, but Alex “offends” me as someone who enjoys fiction. It may not be the worst thing ever written, but it just does so many things wrong in terms of storywriting, storytelling, presentation and creating fictional characters, I can’t help but wonder what went wrong that Dobson even remotely thought this thing would be a “successful” comic series to establish him as a creator. Cause I can tell you, having read the likes of Don Rosa’s work on Disney, Hilda, Cleopatra in Space, Spirou, Asterix, One Piece (of which I will talk a lot in my next few posts) and many more, I can confirm by comparison that Dobson’s pirates as a published comic would have only one use on the public shelves: alternative for toilet paper during the COVID-19 epidemic

Believe me, I would love to write an in depth analysis of everything wrong with Alex ze Pirate, from the lazy artwork up to even the publication history of this trainwrack. But doing so would take a lot of time and there is one individual part of this I think deserve at least extra attention. Something that in my opinion embodies quite well a lot of things I consider wrong with this comic. So before I am going over Alex in its entirety (and believe me, the day will come) let me just talk within the next few posts about one certain aspect and story of the comic, that genuinely got me to loath this comic to the core: Sam the Cabin Boy and “his” own individual story Dobson drew in three parts around 2010.

For starters, lets talk who Sam is: Sam is one of the main characters in the comic and actually the first person who joined Alex and Peggy in the initial pages of Legends, the “original” form of Alex ze Pirate.

See, back in 2004, Dobson released Alex ze Pirate in form of a single comic volume called “Legends” which features Alex trying to recruit a crew. The thing is around 78 pages thick and based on what I saw pretty terribly paced. For comparison: When Luffy in One Piece got his crew together, he spend multiple volumes and at least three minor story arcs to get Zoro, Nami, Sanji and Usopp to join him. All while also giving us good insight into the kind of people his new crewmates were (especially Sanji’s and Nami’s backstory got to me), defeating the likes of Buggy and Captain Black, meeting Dracula Mihawk and defeating one of the biggest bastards Eichiro Oda ever created in form of Arlong. What is the story how Sam joins the crew? An orphanage organizes an auction and sells kids off. Which I assume was even illegal in pirate times, so kudos for already showing us how despicable the world of Alex ze Pirate is to begin with and how much it deserves to be nuked in some sort of alien invasion.

Sam also doesn’t really get anything to do when he is introduced, just helping Alex escape on a small boat. Which is weird because he does not know her at all, she is just some stranger who bought him off and has no means to keep him in check, so why even bother following her and not let the mob get rid of Alex?

Anyway, I wish I could tell more about Sam’s involvement in Legends, but I don’t have really more than some scans of it in the beginning and near the end. So I don’t know his involvement in the rest of the volume. I also can’t say how he plays out in volume two, because that does not exist at all. Cause for reasons I will never understand, Dobson just abandoned the idea of telling a “coherent” and ongoing story with Alex ze Pirate and instead went to his colored one page comics/strips with it, turning it into what some people called “Garfield with Pirates” (which I consider a genuine insult towards any newspaper comic out there, even something as Boondocks). And the first thing we see of Sam in “classic” Alex ze Pirate?

The perverted dwarf of the crew showing of his shota underwear so that Alex and Sam stop bickering who is the cutest, leaving him embarrassed and humiliated.

Which kinda sums up his role in the comic to a t. Cause this is what Sam is: He is the buttmonkey of the crew. And honestly, I would not have a total problem with Sam being a buttmonkey, if a) he wasn’t it all the time, b) he would actually do something to deserve any form of humiliation and c) if the other characters in this comic itself would not be some of the biggest assholes I have ever seen, who get away with abusing the poor lad.

See, here is the problem: In a crew featuring a choleric homophobic soulless ginger

A black rat person who wants to fuck the ginger even without her consent

A furry abomination that has the same brain wavelengths as Chris Chan

And a perverted dwarf who tries to impersonate Happosai from Ranma 1/2

Sam is the only decent person in the entire crew. He works hard, he even questions the morality of his friends at times, he is honest, he is not perverted, almost good to the point of childish innocence and he has a very humble “goal” which is he wants to own his own piece of gold. Not even a big pile of treasure, just one single coin would be enough for him.

So he is likeable and relatable. In fact, if anything goes by, he may have been one of the most popular ones in the comic. And yet he is the one who gets constantly abused by “fate” and his friends, because as Dobson would say it, he is supposed to be the buttmonkey. There is just one problem: People do not necessarily like buttmonkeys.

I can primarily speak only for myself here, but I hope what I have to say resonates with others too. See, I get it: A character who is the butt of a joke can be fun. Like Daffy in Duck Amuck. But there is a fine line where a character being humiliated for the sake of a joke is fun (and perhaps even deserved because of his own shortcomings or deeds/actions that make the humiliation sort of kharmic, like lets say Johnny Bravo) and a character being humiliated to the point it feels disproportional, unfunny and mean spirited if not outright sadistic, can be crossed. Take Meg Griffin from Family Guy for example whose only “purpose” for existing within the last 12+ years is to get shat on by her family and the writers. People have no idea for a plot with her, so what do they do? Have her father physically and emotionally abuse her, fart in her face for what is supposed to count as a joke and then add additional insult to it by acknowledging that they are only doing this, because they have no other idea for her and think abuse is fun. Let me just tell you from experience, it is not.

And that is essentially what Sam is: He is the Meg Griffin of Alex ze Pirate, used by his creator as the butt of very unfunny jokes, even if he does not deserve any of the things said or done to him. Want to see some examples?

How about the description Dobson gives Sam within the introduction of one of his volumes, showing how little Dobson as the creator even cares for him.

Why is he called an unworthy “slob” if he is the only one who actually works? Shouldn’t a slob be someone like Dobson, who can’t even take care of himself anymore? Also the confirmation that he was kidnapped at the age of 16. And as we have no clarification how much time passed between Legends Vol. 1 and anything afterwards, that means that in a way Alex is a child abuser.

And now, here some examples by the rest of the cast. Like Uncle Peggy framing him for all sorts of his perverted actions and even trying to kill him for no apparent reason?

Alex trying to kill him with chicken pox…

…Destroying all his worldly posessions which is hilarious because he is a poor orphan…

…Essentially describing him as worthless because he was born with an Y-chromosome…

… doing the kind of thing Dobson claims women would never do to man, using their sex appeal to hurt them…

…forcing him to do some unnecessary and rather petty work for her in a physics defying manner (seriously, the way he holds the axe does not compute with how he swings it. Try it out yourself)

… stealing his food and just being a cruel sadistic cunt to him just because it is fun.

Which is “funny” in so far as that there are a few comics indicating she would jump his dick and ride it like a little pony if she could.

By the way, Talus and Atea are not better. None of them calls Alex out on her bullshit on average, Atea uses Sam to trigger traps in one story arc…

And Talus, the closest to a “friend” he is supposed to have, once for no apparent reason made him dig through his litterbox

And don’t get me even started when the characters decide to gang up on Sam, to the point he gets sexually harassedor is called to be less worth as a human being than the dirt you find in your belly button

Fuck’s sake, even in fanart everyone gangs up on him, even the freaking big bad of the story everyone is supposed to hate or be afraid of

Bottom line, Sam is an abuse victim played for laughs in this comics. And just to clarify, I do not think this was Dobson’s intention. But if the character is undeservingly the butt of jokes for the majority of over 120 strips, it turns nasty. The way Sam is treated, I just find disgusting and indictive of just how unlikable any other character in this comic is to the point I do not want to see this being turned into a proper “franchise”. And I assume others were disgusted by it too, cause Dobson eventually decided to make a story more or less addressing the treatment Sam receives, while also attempting to prove that deep down the assholes with starring roles in this trainwrack care for him. How did this play out? Well, I am going to talk about it, so likely not well. If you want to see the details, grab yourself some popcorn and take a toilet break before we tackle part 2 of this thing.

#andrew dobson #so you are a cartoonist #sjw #comics #comic #webcomic #alex ze pirate #sam the cabin boy #legends #tom preston #disgusting #male abuse #unfunny

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