#the problem with someone being invested in you when your attentions are elsewhere is that you deny their behavior and motives until you’ve

[apotelesmaa]

& what if your only assigned role is emotional support. & what if your only value as a person is based upon how you can be a rock for other people even when you’re hollow and fragile inside. You can’t crumble you can’t break and you can’t ever let anyone know. If they know they’ll ignore it or they’ll hate it. What then. What’s worse. I think you just do what a rock does best and sit there and wait to be eroded by time and nature until your instability is revealed to the world. Or maybe you get hit by a hammer or some other blunt object. The end result is the same. I’d like to think that one day you can repair yourself on your own and nobody will ever need to know but sometimes that’s just not feasible. Which do you fear more, a yes that leads to a dead end or a no that endangers the last thing you hold dear.

#MAN. (horse photo) dot jpg. #u know when ur engaging in some behaviors and it becomes so incredibly clear that none of the people you see regularly #have listened to the rare instances of vulnerability you’ve shown while knowing them #and so what you’re doing goes over their head? and maybe it’s not obvious. i hold no ill will. #it’s easier to believe someone is happy. because unloading your emotional woes on them is easier. #& I’m not blameless here the behavior will have splash damage. probably. i don’t know. #the problem with someone being invested in you when your attentions are elsewhere is that you deny their behavior and motives until you’ve #inevitably exploded everything around you. but. that’s a problem for the me of uhhh. I’ll give it 6 months. #but maybe if you fake it and lie you reach the point where you’re not doing it for everyone else #you can trick yourself into believing you feel something too. #whatevrrr I don’t care anymore. goes to watch videos of apes online. #obligatory I’m not a danger to myself and others I just use this blog as a diary occasionally.

[xxlemon-chanxx]

How do you think bearded Philip would act if he genuinely liked and cared about someone (romantically)? I'm not good with character characterization of him so I thought you would be a suitable person to answer this :p

Me and my discord actually had a long convo about this exact thing—

Unfortunately, I don't imagine Philip as being a *good* partner. I may love him as a character and simp for him, but I acknowledge that he is a bad man. There's just no way that that man is well-adjusted or emotionally mature enough to be able to handle a healthy relationship. That's regardless of whether the OC S/O is Human, Witch, or Demon.

Assuming the OC is human, and assuming that Philip met them around the time that Elsewhere and Elsewhen took place, so about 60~65 years old, Philip would be incredibly affectionate at first. Once he realizes he wants to care for you in that way, he's going to do anything he can to woo you. He’ll write you poetry, try his best to learn your interests so the two of you have more in common, and leave you gifts that he made himself or “found” (stole). And just being what you’d imagine the perfect boyfriend to be.

This is a trap, even if you can't see it, even if HE doesn't realize it initially, it is a trap.

In a world of Demons and Witches, his first instinct is going to be to try to get you in a position where he is the most important person in your life. He wants you to depend on him, and look to him for protection and guidance in a way that ensures you can't be corrupted by the sinfulness of the world around you. After all, if his brother can fall victim to it, you most definitely can.

He will ensure he is the most important person in your life by making sure he is the ONLY person in your life. Those first few weeks of courting will seem so magical that when he finally asks you to join him on his journey, you can't imagine ever saying no.

If you have a life built where you are, you might hesitate. It's only natural, isn't it? A stable life that promises safety and comfort versus a life with someone who was a stranger mere months ago. A life of sleeping under the stars, never resting in the same place twice. A life of danger and excitement with the man who vows to protect you and provide for you come Hell or high water.

The moment you go with him, the moment you leave that secure life behind, the trap has been sprung, but much like a fly walking across the trigger hairs of a fly trap, the error of your judgment doesn't become apparent to you until much later.

It starts small. Philip pulls away emotionally. Not by much, not enough for you to be able to identify the problem, but enough for you to feel it. He's not as attentive to you anymore. He doesn't serenade you with flowery sonnets like he used to. He doesn't seem as interested in your hobbies unless it was ones the two of you already shared, and even then he seems far more invested in what HE does rather than anything YOU do.

It's a change, but you can't put your finger on what EXACTLY has changed, just that things don't feel as magical as they did before. But you can excuse his behavior, after all, living out in the woods with an inexperienced travel companion is sure to carry its own stress.

Then, after he neglects you for long enough, the abuse begins. It's never physical, but it doesn't have to be. The same voice that made your name sound like a lyric on his tongue is now the voice that is telling you horrible things that make you cry to yourself in an isolated corner while Philip ignores you. The soft touches and pleasant whispers are replaced by aversion and scorn.

And Gods help you if your OC is able to get pregnant. He will do everything in his power to baby trap you. Anything to make sure you are tethered to him for life.

He's got you where he feels comfortable. Why should he distract from his mission? Now and again you’ll see glimpses of the man you fell in love with. The one who wraps you in his arms and tells you captivating poems about why he worships you. The one who twirls with you under a sky full of stars. Those moments are few and far between, but they make it impossible to leave him, even if a part of you knows he's not good for you.

And the worst part is that Philip DOES love you. He's loving you the only way he knows how. This twisted, demented version on what actual love is could very well be the only type of love he knows how to give. Philip adores you, and if you left, it would just destroy him.

And you know that too. Maybe that's another reason why you can't leave him.

#philip wittebane #toh philip #belosfanstakeover #toh #toh emperor belos #emperor belos #belos wittebane #the owl house belos #toh belos #ask #asks open

[nihilnovisubsole]

oh, right, shadowbringers! i'm overdue for another ffxiv bullet point vibe check. i actually finished it a couple of weeks ago, and then my sink exploded [long story] and i wanted to chew on it for a while. it's clear that this expac is an overwhelming fan favorite, so i figured i should formulate some more intelligent thoughts about it.

part of me worries that my shadowbringers experience was colored by how badly i missed the people and places on the source. more than the aether and gods and soul transference and all that stuff, what i really took away was a sense of loneliness. the first isn't my world. its citizens are strangers to me, though i recognize on a philosophical level that i should help them. even the scions - in theory, my closest comrades - have lived for years in the blink of my eye and become very different people. when did thancred become responsible? when did the twins grow up? i wondered what other NPCs were doing without me. all i wanted was to go home.

on the other hand, i read a theory that this is the point. the story wants you to feel cut loose from everything you know. are you still a hero in an emotional vacuum? will you still put yourself on the line to do the right thing? sure, your world will be doomed if theirs falls, but that possibility seems so huge and far-off that it doesn't register in your gut. i don't think that's the writing failing to connect with me or anything. if that's the intent, it's an interesting feeling for a game to evoke.

i may have also exacerbated that feeling by keeping my actual avatar isolated on norvrandt for so long. i mentioned earlier that i play around the game's day-night cycle, running missions based on when they'll feel most immersive. that extends to maps, too: if the story says i'm stuck in a place, i stay around that place until the story carries me elsewhere. i mean, i'll dip out for wondrous tails and daily cactpot and stuff, but i don't take big story vacations to jet around eorzea. i didn't "come back" from the far east in stormblood until doma was free. that's a lot of MSQ to just spend alone with your thoughts.

there's a storytelling paradox at work: the first's problems are so large and so bad that it's smaller and more personal when you become invested in someone's plight. i expected to care a lot about liberating ala mhigo because i'm so fond of raubahn as a character, and i did. i didn't expect to feel the pity that i felt for, say, kai-shirr, or runar's unrequited crush on y'shtola. it comes on slowly and quietly.

i don't know. it's a curious story. it's a melancholy story. it's a lot more experimental than the expacs that came before it. it'd probably be worth it to new-game-plus it at some point to pay closer attention to the individual character arcs.

same goes for emet-selch. he's a curious villain. i don't sympathize with his methods, and i obviously have no romantic interest in him. but i keep mulling him over. he keeps lurking in the back of my mind, which means that his writing succeeds by virtue of being memorable.

to my mind, everything around amaurot contributes to that success. amaurot is where it all starts to come together for me. it's a beautiful, odd place - art deco in final fantasy? who knew? - and the pinnacle of the arc's surreal "this is a dream, but tangible" tone. you can tell the team wanted to go all out with the ascian reveals they'd been building up to for years. i wonder if they had fun designing it.

even if it is. i. hm. no i shan't say it

all right, i'll say it

I AM EMET-SELCH AND I AM HERE TO ASK YOU A QUESTION

there, it's out of my system. on a less ridiculous note, i finally got royce's canon armor! now i can gpose freely. i wish there were an in-engine way to pose with NPCs, but them's the breaks. who knows? maybe we'll get it eventually. it is a live service game.

#ffxiv

[pearblossommina]

ToG Read-A-Long, Tower of Dawn, day 9

ch 43

“…Hasar had not bothered to invite any of the healers from the Torre.”

Why not, Hasar! It’s YRENE’S birthday we’re celebrating. You’re kind of a bad friend.

Trading in a therapy horse for a horse with a little more spunk. He’s got this. He’s got improved mobility and strength. He can totally ride a spunky horse through the desert. (Yay!)

Ch 44

"Fae magic is passed down through their bloodlines. It doesn't appear at random. Perhaps these people came here. And then were forgotten by the world, forces good and evil. Perhaps they knew this place was far away enough to remain untouched. That wars would be waged elsewhere. By them." He jerked his chin to a carving of a Valg soldier. "While the southern continent remained mostly mortal-held. While the seeds planted here by the Fae were bred into the human bloodlines and grew into a people gifted and prone to healing magic.”

Uh… Implying Yrene is demi fae as well?

“Perhaps that is why whoever it is that's been stalking the Torre, was hunting me," Yrene whispered. "If they are indeed sent from Morath ...They don't want us realizing any of this. Through healing you."

Maybe she’s a powerful fae princess just like Aelin, the long lost bloodline of some third sibling to Maeve and Mab.

"Marriage is not an option for her."

Hasar's brows lifted. "To a man?"

Rena gave her a sharp look that Hasar ignored.

(Lol)

If this were a different book, I could get invested in a lesbian love triangle. *sigh* If only.

Dude, I want to love this snarky lesbian princess but she’s being kind of mean to Yrene - and they’re supposed to be FRIENDS. What the hell happened? Is she just jealous of Yrene dating a boy? Hasar. PLEASE stop being such a problem.

Ch 45

A conversation about exes with your new lover is always hard to have. But Yrene is kinda his therapist, too, so she does need to help guide him through his feelings and make him come to terms the knowledge that those relationships have ended.

I noticed how, he specifically said he doesn’t love Aelin and doesn’t love Nesryn but she didn’t make him tell her he doesn’t love Dorian.

(Lol) (never stop loving Dorian) (the truest love of all, very platonic love for your best friend)

“He found words. Found language again

Long enough to ask, "Have you ever - ”

"Yes." The word was a rough pant. "Once."

Chaol shoved against the ripple of darkness, the line on that throat. He only kissed it instead. Licked it. Then asked against her skin, his mouth skirting up her jaw, "Do you want to- ”

"Keep going.”

But he made himself pause.”

:(

I don’t know where I got it into my head that Yrene was a virgin - but - did she just admit to where that scar came from? (Ow. Fuck, baby, I love you so much. My heart though. I’m not ready for this sudden trauma reveal! My poor heart was so excited. And now it just hurts)

Ch 46

Oh no, she wasn’t. She was… just the victim of unsatisfying casual sex.

Well, in that case… good for you Yrene! (Not trying to downplay the real trauma of receiving that scar on her neck) (I’m just glad it didn’t come with a big old heap of sexual trauma)(one way or the other I’m glad) (i just wasn’t ready for it, if she was about to reveal that) And hey. I’m glad she found someone like Chaol. Someone she wants to have sex with, and can finally enjoy the act. I’m glad things turned out the way they did. They needed each other. And now they finally have each other. And he helped her achieve several orgasms! Good job Chaol, your healing has gone impossibly well, I bet she’s so glad you’ve regained so much mobility and strength 🤭

And wow. Assassin’s Blade is such a fascinating prequel. How it leaves so much impact on the rest of the books. I guess I didn’t pay very much attention when I was reading it, lol, but it really is pinging my brain with memories of how it’s interwoven into the story.

Ch 47

“Then the prince was gone. Ripped from her hands.

As if he had never been.”

WHAT THE FUCK

THIS IS NOT OKAY

WHAT THE FUCK

“The spider had talked as if they would be taken alive to their lair. For a brief window before the feasting began. And if she had spoken true ...”

Oh good! Ok good, let’s go. Maybe we can still stage a daring rescue

Ch 48

Damn - this is spooky

MAEVE?

What!

I thought she was a fae queen!

She’s not?!

Does that mean - does that mean Rowan is part Valg, too?

Does that mean…. Aelin also is?

This is weird!!!!

Are Valg irredeemable monsters, or are they just… people, like the rest of us?

Is it alway considered a bad thing - to be Valg? Or is it…. Like a nature vs nurture thing, and you don’t always turn out to be an evil ruthless conqueror trying to stomp out all the good in the world? Cause Manon is part Valg, too… all the witches are, and they’re able to do good, and do what’s right… if they choose it!

I guess I have been sorta biased against this fantasy race, but now, I’m wondering if all this setup has been in play to make me see that we’re *really not that different* This is so weird. THIS IS COMPLETELY OFF THE RAILS.

Ch 49

Maeve tricked TWO sisters into believing she was one of their sisters!!!!!!!

TWO SISTER FAE QUEENS!!!!!

That means, Rowan is…… remember way back when… when I was like (ew) (they’re cousins) Does this new information mean, they’re in fact NOT cousins, because Maeve is in fact NOT related to Aelin’s ancestor Mab? is this secretly - now that he’s mates with Aelin - like a true Romeo and Juliet! Valg and fae coming together, the caranam, the combining of powers!!!! All the powers of this realm and the next!!!!

I did not expect this critical information, it’s like changing my view on EVERYTHING right now. This is WAY OFF THE RAILS.

Ch 50

Falkan! he’s not Lysandra’s dad he’s her uncle

I feel stupid for not realizing. (He’s too young to be her dad) (lol)

(This better not be the last time we see him)

Ch 51

Hell yeah, Borte to the rescue

Hell yeah, Kadara triumphant return!

My heart!

Damn!!!! This chapter set has so many intense feelings! Ships sailing, friendships forming, evil bad guys being revealed to be NOT WHAT THEY SEEMED -

I just want to keep reading!

#tog read along 2023 #tower of dawn

[ffntroco]

*Deep Sigh*

A lot on my heart, but no one to talk to about it or not feeling safe. Everyone labels me as the bitch, but in reality my heart is so soft and pure. The drama. Why do boys make it so difficult and why do they claim to like you, but try to put you through hell. If you’re that nigga for me why try to inflict pain in me. If you wanna sleep with me why would you talk to me like shit? Why don’t you uplift me. Instill confidence. Passion. Joy. Inspiration. It’s like the goal is to shake up my confidence. I’m exhausted and quite frankly is why I choose to stay single. I’m young and don’t wanna waste these years chasing men. Young and wealthy is my goal. Multiple streams of income and all that. I don’t know who I can trust sometimes and I don’t even know if I can trust myself and after I fought for this healing. This peace. This self love. I still find myself weak because of I guess my craving for love in my lonely little world. But I am scared of if it.

Where’s the loyalty? The appreciation? The respect? The real desire to just be a real person. And it’s no hate in my heart no malice or ill will, but I will no longer let ppl sit and play in my face. Fine you don’t want me then bye. Compare me to others? Go play like you don’t see this divinity elsewhere. I am beautiful and deserving of a beautiful life. So if we cannot add to each others beauty then so be it. I’ve had so many people trying to tear me the fuck down guys. Like it’s been difficult and sometimes it’s hard not to let it not get to you especially when physical violence is involved. What I’m learning is to not get entrapped by someone else spells anymore and stay hyper focused on the blessing that is my life. That’s how you end the mind games and the playing around. And the drama. Like Maddie said in Euphoria. Out of sight. Out of mind.

I hate attention guys. Like I hate it, but people for some reason make me the center of attention by dragging me into problems. I’ve healed. I don’t wanna argue. I spent most of my childhood confused, alone, isolated(which is why it’s hard to make friends for me), abused and neglected. I don’t entail that being in my adulthood since I’ve already been robbed of my childhood and at some point we all have to grow the hell up. You cannot suck on mother’s tits. In taking this time to invest in myself, my future and my loved ones. I have to deem what’s important. What’s important for me is making sure I will be okay. What I’m learning is I have to be okay with not involving myself into other ppls dramas anymore. So many ppl hit me below the belt because of where they are and I’m learning that’s not my fault and I’m learning it’s okay to admit I felt hurt, betrayed and you broke my trust and I know that you don’t care but it’s okay because I do. When we push our feelings to the side in that defense mechanism we’re just telling ourselves we don’t value ourself. I’ve been needing to speak for so long but we live in a world where ppl like me however you may interpret it do not to have a voice a voice in the space of the fact that alot of us queer folk need to take the time to heal. We’re taken advantage of, beaten, neglected, abused, and made to be something we’re not all because of the egotism in masculine energy. It’s like when your feminine the only thing you amount to is being viewed as pleased and I have to accept it because you think I’m sexy. But this sexy mf also walks this thing called life as well as sometimes I’m not feeling it just like you don’t be.

I had to hermit myself. I had to go love on myself. I had to go value myself. I had to protect myself. That’s all I been doin. Lovin me. Valuing me all of me and I’m actually not afraid so say damn okay im not that bad of a person lolz. Stay beautiful.

#dear diary #holisticwellness #artists on tumblr #sculpture #healing

[watercolorfreckles]

An idea:

Hero and Villain going to the same therapist but don’t know about the other. The therapist knows both of their secret identities obviously and has to deal with them complaining about each other separately

Bonus scene:

Villain finds out that therapist knows Hero’s secret identity and tries to trick the therapist into revealing Hero (can be flirting, snooping in the office, etc)

Btw, I think you’re doing fantastic with your writing! I honestly can’t believe you haven’t written in so long— your recent work flowed perfectly. Thank you for sharing your talent for writing on tumblr!!! Also I just realized how long this ask is sorry I didn’t mean to overwhelm you lol

Answering my first ask (((finally)). I'm kinda nervous lol! Thank you so much for the sweet words, @glowing-alpaca (it wont let me tag you), that makes me so happy to hear. I'm not sure if this is exactly what you pictured, but this is the direction my brain wanted to go lol I haven't written anything based specifically on someone's request before so I really hope you like this!!

"Villain?"

The villain blinked and Doctor Meadows' office came back into focus. He shook his head slightly to dispel the thoughts nagging his attention.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked whether you gave what we spoke about last week a try? We talked about finding productive ways to express your negative emotions." Her voice was soft and void of judgment. "You have a creative mind, have you tried anything that has seemed to help you so far?"

Villain's gaze followed the curve of her pen as the therapist jotted a note down on her notepad.

"How can I possibly be productive when that fool in colored spandex is always barging in, getting in my way? What am I supposed to do, mm? Throw some pottery at him?"

The therapist's hands folded in her lap. "Even if you can't control the situation in the moment, you can still find ways to better prepare yourself, then you'll be equipped to process the aftermath in a healthy way. You can't keep Hero from doing things that act as triggers for you, but you can implement some techniques to control yourself better."

Villain scoffed. "What, you want me to try soaking with a bath bomb, sing kumbaya? Nothing will change until that cockroach is out of my way."

Despite the chill to his voice, doctor Meadow's expression was warm and gentle as she regarded him. She was much more sincere than the cold and demeaning therapists he'd met with at the previous facility he'd tried; or the doctor who cowered in fear when he showed up to his first appointment.

"I am confident that with time and effort, we can find a solution that will help you, villain. But you have to put your best foot forward. You have to invest enough in yourself to sow the desired outcome." Doctor Meadows held his gaze without fear, kind eyes and soft smile settling his restless energy.

She always had a way of snuffing out the tension that corded through him and wound him tight.

They had a connection, and Meadows seemed genuine in her care for him. Sometimes he even wondered if she felt more for him than that.

Villain huffed and glanced around the room, taking in the colorful artwork on the walls, the comforting throw rugs, pillows with silly inspiring catchphrases, and soft furnishings making the space feel inviting. He found it far more disarming than the sterile white, desolate offices he'd visited before.

The therapist continued after allowing him a moment of quiet to consider her words. "I understand that we are a ways away from you being in a place where you feel comfortable giving up your...occupation. I believe that we can work our way there, but for now, we have to take steps to minimize your destructive behavior. The intent behind your actions is the key to why you are compelled to do the things that you do. If we start there, we can make changes that are healthier for you and those around you. What things best calm you and make you feel grounded?"

You, he thought, but didn't say.

"Chaos," he said instead, dazzling her with a sharp smile. He crossed his legs, leaning back on the plush lilac couch.

Doctor Meadows didn't flinch. "So when you feel like your life and personal environment are no longer in your control, it comforts you to inflict that same helplessness on other people? To help you feel less alone."

Villain stared at her. Anyone else would have run and hidden at the look on his face.

Doctor Meadows waited patiently for his response. "Do you feel that that is a correct assesment?" she prompted.

Villain straightened to lean forward in his seat. When he spoke, his voice was low. "What gives you that impression?"

"When Mr. Ma--" her eyes widened as she cut herself off, correcting herself, "--when [Hero's superhero name] isn't around, you--"

"What did you say?"

For once, the therapist's blood ran cold at her mistake. "Pardon?"

Villain braced his hands on the table between them, slowly rising to his feet. He towered over her. "Hero. You know his name. Tell me his name."

Doctor Meadows pursed her lips. "I can't do that, Villain. Doctor-patient confidentiality states--"

"--He's your patient," Villain interrupted again, his smile something too sweet, too manic, to be sincere. Like poison.

The therapist tracked his movements while still looking steady and unshaken.

"Doctor Meadows. Juliet. You want to help me, don't you?" he purred, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "If I knew who he was, I could solve all my problems. Not to hurt him, just to keep him out of my way."

His fingers trailed up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps on her skin. She shuddered in a soft breath, a blush creeping over her cheeks.

"I am not at liberty to share my patient's information. You should be grateful that I don't share yours."

"Sweetheart, let's not pretend I'm just any client." Villain gently took the pencil and notepad out of her hands, setting them aside. Their gazes interlocked.

"Villain--"

"Juliet," he countered, voice honeyed. His free hand landed at the small of her back and he could feel a shiver run through her.

"Villain," she said, tone giving no room to argue. "If you are not willing to respect my rules and the policies I am required to follow, I will be forced to transfer you elsewhere."

He paused at that. The silence stretched. Could he stomach losing her? His therapist, his Juliet, the only person who came close to understanding him?

How dare she threaten to abandon him?

Finally, she shifted slightly under the dangerous look he studied her with.

"Villain. Do you understand?"

Slowly, he lowered himself back into his seat. He clenched his hands at his sides.

She smiled again, and it looked like home. "Good. Take a deep breath. Let's try a few new exercises together to help you manage your emotions."

Part 2

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#this isnt my best but i spent a lot of time on it and that counts for a lot! :) #why am i always writing at 2 am #i have problems #didnt edit very much but its fIIINE #hopefully i can get to some continuations you all have requested soon :) #civillain x villain #writeblr #flash fiction #short story #my writing #hero x villain #villain x civillian #fiction

[cancerjupiter]

astrology notes: mars (pt. 2)

mars in libra

the mars principle describes how you set about getting what you need for yourself and shows how you define yourself. libra is about you in relation to others and gaining self-knowledge by using others as a mirror. these two opposing principles do not combine comfortably. how can you define yourself or decide what you want effectively if you consider the other person's needs before your own? 

the person with mars in libra attributes enormous importance to what the 'other' wants, and often gives away their energy and sexual needs. they don’t know what they want until they discovered what the other person wants. if you ask them what they want to do, they will most likely answer by asking what you want to do. this makes decision-making virtually impossible because they cannot focus in on what they want, but are always looking for answers from the outside, drawing in others to help them decide. because of this difficulty in knowing what they want, they are very ambivalent and give out double messages all the time. if they make a definite statement, they will immediately qualify it, so that what they really want becomes blurred and open to doubt.

in their sexual relationships, mars in libra like to observe the social niceties - venusian touches such as romantic notes, thank-you letters, and cards sent to continue the connection. romantic and charming, they know what pleases and often show a flattering interest in their partner's life and emotional well-being. they always ask the right questions and respond appropriately, which can be very seductive. enjoying repartee and flirtation, people with mars in libra may flirt for ever without ever getting round to doing anything. they enjoy creating the right setting - a romantic meal with soft lights and sweet music. 

sometimes there is a perfect atmosphere for sex, with the promise and the innuendo there, but the sex itself may never materialize. this is because Libra feels much more comfortable with the flirting stage than with the disturbing intimacy of sex. people with mars here like to start contacts, forge links and hold relationships together, but they also like to keep at a distance and avoid intense involvement, often using niceness and politeness as a barrier to intimacy. however, the urge to establish a sexual relationship is a driving force for people with mars in libra, so that even if there is not much actual sex involved, they need to feel they have an actual sexual partner, and will put a great deal of effort into pleasing their partner and holding the relationship together. 

mars in scorpio

mars is in dignity in scorpio; and someone with this placement is likely to have a quietly powerful and unobtrusively charismatic presence, backed up by an inner strength and sense of purpose. these people will have a certainty in their manner that conveys that they are not people to be toyed with. this is the most assertive and potentially ruthless of the water signs. 

this sounds a promising placement for passionate sex, and mars in scorpio people are passionate as fuc. however, with relationships they are often so intense and sex is often such a traumatic arena that they may never actually do it, though they can spend a lot of time anguishing over it. their sexual contacts are likely to be intensely emotional. they may have such immense feelings invested in sex that they shrink when they are attracted to someone, and all spontaneous responses fail; things just stop flowing. for a mars in scorpio, sex is all or nothing; they feel it as life and death - which can throw them into dreadful crisis and inner turmoil. sex is indeed intimately connected to life and death; and they will feel closer to this truth than anyone else. 

this placement makes for a depth of emotional honesty and integrity that you do not find with mars in the other water signs, but it can also produce the most agonized expression. once a relationship becomes established, someone with mars in scorpio will not be afraid of commitment. these people will offer and demand absolute loyalty, and will stand by their partners through thick and thin. they will also be the most possessive of all the water signs, and are vulnerable to feelings of sexual jealousy. this is because their feelings become so deeply engaged in their sexual relationships. with such an emotional investment, they have a great deal to lose. there is nothing lukewarm about them. these people will want to own their sexual partner; anyone not wanting to be possessed might find their intensity too much. 

mars in sagittarius

people with this placement have huge expectations of sex. believing it to be a path to self-knowledge, many are looking for sex to give meaning to life, and they may elevate it to the status of a religious belief. this can lead to restless promiscuity as they search for the spiritual enlightenment they crave. they can make a religion out of their own need for sexual freedom in order to pursue such illusive goal. on the surface, they appear to be happy and easy-going; but underneath there may be emptiness, despair, and a sense of having been cheated, as life constantly cannot match up to expectations. this provokes an endless search for the deep sexual healing that they believe could soothe this inner pain. 

as with all fire signs, but most intensely with sagittarius, there is a propensity to feel limited by the body, which holds them down when they want to be all spirit; and this can lead to a total rejection of the physical. this manifestation of mars can show someone who despises sex and aspires to devote themselves to the concerns of the mind and spirit, therefore renouncing sex completely. 

on a more ordinary everyday level, most people with mars in sagittarius do not live in such an extreme way, but they do all need to sex to bring meaning to life, together with a powerful belief in personal freedom. there is a common desire for sex to enrich their lives spiritually and offer a gateway to personal development. they are stimulated by differences and challenge, and so are often attracted to those who come from unique backgrounds who can give them a new perspective and widen their horizons. the impulsive nature of sag people means that they often jump too quickly into close relationships and then immediately feel restricted, so that often they have no sooner started a relationship than they have dreams of leaving. there is a tendency to run away from difficult situations rather than face up to the consequences of their own actions. they often find it hard to accept responsibility for what happens, believing that they have acted with the best of intentions and that therefore it must be the other person's fault. 

in order to enjoy sex, these people need to act spontaneously. within a relationship that offers this, they are very enthusiastic sexual partners, uninhibited and keen to experiment. they need the stimulation of variety, and tend to become bored if sex is too predictable. the person with mars in sag will want to get a lot of fun out of their relationships, and will enjoy going out to the cinema, concerts, and other activities with their partner. these people are also likely to enjoy their partners taking part in sporting activities with them, so that a shared morning run or a tough game of tennis could be quite fun! 

people with mars in this sign can make their partners feel fantastic. they have a warm enthusiasm which they give out freely; if they want you, they really show it. generous-spirited and optimistic, they expect to be desired, and so act in an open, confident way. if they are rebuffed, they will just try again or turn their attention elsewhere. they can, however, be rather careless with other people's feelings, acting first and think later, which can be very painful to those who are more sensitive. they find it hard to focus on the here and now or empathize with other people, as their gaze is firmly fixed on the distant future. they prefer to ignore difficulties, and that includes people's hurt feelings. rather than grapple with present problems, they will concentrate on their visions for the future and chase their dreams. for someone who shares these dreams, it can be an exciting road to travel. 

mars in capricorn

someone with this mars is likely to have an air of authority, and an innate sense of dignity and of deserving (not sure if that’s the right word tho). these people give a powerful impression of self-control and conduct themselves with good manners. they may seem quietly distinguished (and are often called mysterious). all the earth signs exercise self-control, caution and reserve, but these traits are most in evidence in someone with mars in capricorn. this could be because they feel their dignity is constantly at stake, which is arguably something that matters a great deal to them. they may restrict their lives in order to maintain control over it. 

when starting sexual relationships, someone with this placement will take considerable care not to make inappropriate moves. a rejection would be a loss of dignity. yet these people have a powerful sex drive and powerful needs for physical contact, so when sexually involved and certain of their partner they can be very bit as ardent as mars in taurus. people with mars in cap may be painstakingly slow in establishing contact, but once they have, they want the rewards for their efforts. they will take a sexual relationship seriously and expect it to last. 

like mars in virgo, they can go through long periods when, if not in a relationship, they remain celibate. for mars in capricorn, these may be rather austere times, when they bury themselves in their work or productive activities and swutch off their sexual needs (my friend with this placement says she’s not crazy about masturbating, but to each his own ofc). this is their way of surviving. when they do have a partner, they will let go of some of their control and have a powerful sensuality. 

people with mars in capricorn will be ambitious, and might choose a sexual partner who helps them get on in life or who enhances their status. they may choose someone who opens doors that might otherwise remain closed, or who has money. this is not as calculated as it sounds, for they may literally get turned on by money or authority. alternatively, a mars in capricorn person may start up in business with their lover. the dividing line between business partnerships and sexual relationships can easily blur. this is an ideal placement for a working sexual relationship.

mars in aquarius

this mars placement causes some impulsiveness and abruptness in manner or speech. they may do things quickly and unexpectedly, either because they make up their minds quickly or because they don’t fully realise the consequences of their actions. they often sum up facts or opinions and comes to a conclusion very quickly (the type of person to read the headline but not the article). they always seem ready for anything; mars in aqua often knows what to do in an emergency and how to stay level-headed through it. they speak readily and are incisive debaters, forcible and determined. their opinions are fixed and not easily changed from outside (aquarius is fixed after all); but when they do change, it often happens so suddenly and abruptly as if to surprise everyone. 

the often alienate their friends because of their actions, easily suffering from opposition and hostility. this position is not favourable for social niceties, associations, companies or firms, as they don’t see the need to nice for the hell of it. however, they’re somewhat ambitious and aspiring, original and independent in thought, too much so to associate on an equal footing with others for any length of time; such relationships are usually broken either through their ambition or love of independence. sometimes they seem to be democrats, but there is a good love of autocracy in them; they love leading and guiding others. 

mars in pisces

they’re the most romantic and tricky placement of the water signs. this is someone who is extremely sensitive to romantic gestures in love, and able to tune in to their loved ones on the subtlest levels. these people can make the most attentive lovers, who seduce and overwhelm their loved ones with flattery and attention. and yet, just as the object of their affections succumbs, they may be on their way, ever elusive pisces, to the next lover. their effusive gestures of affection can be in some ways impersonal (and superficial in retrospect). with a mars in pisces suitor, you are never sure whether you are the real thing or just a sounding board on which they’re practising - the idealized love object of the moment. these psople may want to keep their illusion intact more than they want a partner. plus they may enjoy the seduction process more than an actual relationship. they may be in love with the concept of being in love. if you are 'the real thing' for them, then your relationship will be infused with romance and mystery. these people will need intrigue to keep them involved, and will themselves regularly inject such ingredients into the relationship to keep the romance alive. they may read too much fanfiction for their own good (lol sorry, Bea). 

there is a deep yearning for an oneness with their partner; a total merging, which they are likely to satisfy through sexual contact. for them, sex may be a spiritual experience. it may be an union with something far greater than their partner and themselves that they seek, whether or not they are conscious of it. for someone with mars in pisces, there will be a conscious awareness of this spiritual dimension. the practice of meditation symbolically represents their orientation. someone with such an orientation could, if not in a relationship, spend long periods celibate. paradoxically, they can also be the most promiscuous, with no sense of sexual boundaries, and wanting everyone that they feel attracted to. it really depends on their level of consciousness. this is the most passive of the Water signs, and perhaps the one with the greatest diversity of expression.

#astrology #zodiac signs #mars astrology #mars in libra #mars in scorpio #mars in sagittarius #mars in capricorn #mars in aquarius #mars in pisces #libra mars #scorpio mars #sagittarius mars #capricorn mars #aquarius mars #pisces mars #happy halloween!

[eirikaanemo]

"Still, the winds change direction. Someday, they will blow towards a brighter future... Take my blessings and live leisurely from this day onward"

– Vayuda Turquoise Gemstone

Venti granting his crush a vision. In canon, anemo users are hardworking people with strong beliefs, but also those who need a break.

bonus: morax gives a geo vision to venti's s/o, making venti kinda jealous. 'hello, celestia tech support? i need to grant this one person a second vision, yeah its vital, wait don't hang up"

Good Enough

Venti x Visionless!GN!Reader

1.3k Words

Warning: gossiping (about you), self-worth insecurities

You've never had a vision, and that's never bothered you before. A vision isn't necessary to kick butt. You’re of two minds about the situation. Part of you is proud to have come so far without needing to rely on a vision. Another part of you, shoved to the back of your mind, feels very insecure about it all. Why don’t you have a vision?

As a knight of favonius you’ve spent a lot of time honing your combat skills. Hours and hours of your time are invested in improving your accuracy, strength, reaction time, and improvisation ability. You have to be the best of the best to keep up with everyone else. The fact that you rarely see those with visions training is shoved into the back of your mind. Surely they just train elsewhere.

However, the back of your mind is also where your insecurities lie. So shoving the thought back there only compounded the problem. They’re just better than you, your mind whispers. They don’t need to practice to be powerful. They don’t have to put in effort to be good enough.

All your hard work pays off. You’re the highest ranked knight that doesn’t have a vision. And you’re still climbing up the ranks. However, it’s been made very clear that the next promotion opportunity will likely not be available to you.

“Captain deputies are assigned to their departments based on vision type.” The knight had claimed, carefully avoiding eye contact with you. “Make sure that you hone your elemental abilities as best you can. Only the best are chosen for this position.”

While they had tried to be tactful, you could feel the eyes of your colleagues on you. You could hear their whispers behind your back for the rest of the day. “Do they really think they have a chance?” They whisper. “It’s a miracle they made it this far. I wonder how they even managed to make it this far.”

You try not to let it bother you. You can’t show weakness, so you go about the rest of your day with your usual expression pasted on your face. Everything is normal, you say silently. Nothing is wrong. It’s not like you wanted that promotion anyway.

Most people buy your soundless lies or simply allow you the dignity of not confronting you about it. Everything goes okay. Until you run into Venti, that is.

The two of you have been together for a while now. He’s always been a big supporter of your passion to do your best and climb through the ranks. Even times where he doesn’t see you for a week straight don’t budge his support a bit. You make as much time for him as you can, but he understands the kind of time commitment you’ve made and is willing to wait as long as you need.

And being someone who often puts up a facade himself, he notices something is wrong immediately. “Is everything okay?” He asks you gently as the two of you sit in a corner at Angel’s Share. “You seem pretty down tonight. Did something happen?”

You sit quietly for a moment, pondering how to respond. Chancing a look at him, he sends you a serene and patient smile. Venti is willing to wait as long as you need. The thought helps your nervousness a lot.

After another couple moments of thought you respond. “No, I’m not really okay,” you admit. “It was heavily implied today that in order for me to move further up the ranks I need a vision.”

He tries to keep his face neutral, the last thing you need right now is pity; but a small frown still slips onto his face. “That’s rather discriminatory,” he notes. “If you want I could bring it up with Jean. The knights aren’t supposed to discriminate like that.”

You shake your head. How Venti, a seemingly normal bard, has influence with Acting Grandmaster Jean is beyond you; but you would never want to take advantage of it.

“No, I’ll be okay,” you reply. “I’m sure they will eventually see the error of their ways. But- well, nevermind.” Your face falls as your insecurities creep forward as you remember the whispers.

“But…” he prompts you to continue.

“But it just seems like everything would be a lot easier if I had a vision.” You confide. “The extra firepower really helps on missions. There’s a kind of respect you gain when you have one. And, to be honest, people with visions are a lot more efficient.”

“You sound like you wish you had a vision,” he notes.

“That’s because I do,” you admit. A feeling of shame washes over you. How could you say that? So many people look up to you as an example of what a regular person can do. How could you just throw that all away?

“I thought you didn’t want a vision,” Venti pointed out, confused.

“I can see why you’d think that. Part of me is proud of how far I’ve come as I am and getting a vision sometimes feels like I’d be taking the easy way out. But that’s not to say I don’t want one. I’ve wanted a vision for the longest time,” you admit. “It just feels like I’m not allowed to want it.”

He hums in understanding. “I think,” he starts thoughtfully. “I think it’s okay to want what you want. Getting a vision isn’t easy, you really have to prove yourself. But you also have to be open to receiving one. Who knows? Maybe you will get one and can use the extra opportunities it grants you to open more opportunities for others who don’t have visions.”

You nod. “Yeah, I think I’d like that. A way to stay true to my roots while still being able to grow in a way I’m not able to right now. But you’d think I’d already have a vision by now if I was going to get one, you know? I hear what people say about me. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

Venti carefully sets his drink down on the table and turns to face you. He seems sad and almost guilty. “Do you really think you’re not good enough because you don’t have a vision?” He inquires softly. You blink, surprised at the question.

“Sometimes,” you confess.

He pulls you into a hug and moves to whisper in your ear. “You are good enough, vision or not. Whether some archon has acknowledged you or not doesn’t matter. A vision isn’t necessary to prove self-worth. You are good enough just as you are, please never doubt that. You are precious and loved and special because you are you. Vision or no vision, that will never change.”

You melt into his hug and bury your face into his shoulder. “Thanks, Venti,” you whisper. “I really needed to hear that.”

Your partner proceeded to spend the rest of the night cheering you up. He told stupid jokes and sang stupid love songs. All of his attention was on you. He didn’t even finish his drink. It was a special night that you know you will never forget.

And if you woke up the next morning to an anemo vision on your bedside table and beamed your way through the rest of the morning. If you proudly displayed in on your belt like your partner does, and held your head a little taller than usual; well, that’s your business.

And if Captain Kaeya took one look at you with your new vision, laughed, and said, “Well, it’s about time! I was starting to wonder if the archons had gone blind!” Well, your smile might have been just that much brighter.

You followed through with the idea Venti suggested, making it easier for those without visions to rise in ranks as long as they put in the work. And it felt good. But you knew deep inside, that the vision didn’t define you.

Your life continued as before, with the only change being how you trained- not how often you trained. People still looked up to you. You were still an inspiration to them. Life was good.

And yes, you got the promotion.

#eirika writes #venti #genshin venti #venti x reader #genshin impact x reader

[vee-is-a-writter-now]

Heaven Sent

[[Draco x Reader]]

Summary: Draco and a golden trio’s friend against all odds become very close. When you take a very dangerous part in one of the Triwizard Tounrament’s tasks, he is forced to face the fact that he might see you as more than just a friend.

A/N: This is my first Draco fic and I have to admit, he is one of the hardest characters I’ve ever written for, there’s something about him that I couldn’t quite get right but I hope I did a decent job. This is set in the ‘Goblet of Fire’ era, for the sake of the story some things about the plot are changed but it stays over all pretty similar to the original. If this does well i’ll write a part two. Also, I’d love to keep writing for Draco so if you have any prompts or ideas let me know!!

Warnings: Language, a bit of angst here and there, a bit of fluff here and there.

~IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS DONT HESITATE TO ASK~

No one quite understood how you and Draco became friends, it happend slowly and gradually. In second year the two of you hated eachother for the issues he had with your friends. Harry had been your friend since the first day you stepped foot in Hogwarts, Hermione was like a big sister to you even though you were the same age and Ron was the one who was always there to make you laugh even when it seemed impossible. So naturally everytime Draco felt it was necessary to make a snarky remark about them, tease Harry mercilessly or call Hermione a mudblood, it made you see red with rage.

After one particularly loud class of potions, professor Snape decided to change all the seats before he ended up murdering a student. You had to leave your seat next to Harry and walk to the back of the class to be seated with no other than the Slytherin prince. You cursed Snape, the universe and anyone else who seemed to be conspiring against you in your head, then reluctantly took your seat.

At first, and as it would be expected, Draco and you had troubles getting along to say the least, but as days went by and as the two of you realized this feud you had was only making the situation more unbearable, the hostility was replaced with playfulness. You still teased eachother but the desire to hurt and offend wasn’t there anymore, instead being replaced with snarky remarks and witty comebacks.

A similar situation took place in your head. You didn’t understand why all of a sudden the hatred for the posh, bratty and rude platinum blonde wasn’t there anymore, but getting to potions class and teasing him about something new everyday just to get a laugh out of him was something you internally looked forward to. Even in the great hall while you were sitting with your friends it was hard to not steal a few glances here and there from Draco, and most of those times he would be looking right back.

Third year went by like that, class next to him, a few group assignments that required you to meet him out of class and the sporadic interaction here and there. That was it.

But when year four came by, Harry and Ron decided it would be a great idea to get into a fight right when things started getting complicated. Both of them were very proud, and for a few weeks after the contestants of the triwizard tournament were announced they wouldn’t even talk to eachother.

Hermione took the mom friend role and stuck with Ron during those weeks, you on the other hand could’ve stuck with Harry but he was so invested and consumed by the tournament he barely even had time to spend with anyone anyways so you preferred to leave him to his own.

You found yourself going to the library a lot more, something you loved to do but barely had any time to when you were occupied with the golden trio’s adventures. To your surprise, the idea of finding a place to scape everything for a few moments hadn’t only occurred to you, but to Draco as well. Some days you would only sit next to eachother and read in silence; others, when Draco would be in a particularly good mood he would talk to you about what was so interesting in the book he was currently reading. The way you would listen to him talk made the warm feeling in Draco’s chest grow more than he would like to admit. He could tell how when he spoke to you, you didn’t only listen out of basic courtesy or fear like his fellow slytherins would, you actually cared about what he had to say. Draco would go to the extents of looking for things to say just so he could see your eyes look up from the pages of your book and get hit by the light coming from the window behind him.

To you, Draco was a breath of fresh air, you loved your friends to death but everything seemed to be so complicated with them, almost as if you were always on a life or death situation, but with him things were easy, just casual conversations, sweet smiles and moments of blissful silence. You liked spending time with him so much you started to look for excuses to do it more often outside the library, tempting him to sneak into the kitchen for snacks on a dare for example, or challenging him to a race to the outer parts of the castle just to find a place to sit down together and talk.

The day of the second task, Draco had seen you at breakfast, you’d told him previously your two friends had finally made amends which meant it wasn’t weird to see you all sitting together once again, but this still made his heart subtly ache knowing that you wouldn’t spend as much time with him anymore. With that though in mind he’d asked you to sit near him during the tournament, something not obvious enough for slytherins to bug him about it but sufficient to have you close to him.

When he arrived to the wood platform that stood on top of the black lake he scanned the crowd for you, disappointed when he couldn’t find your face. He reluctantly walked to where all the slytherins were grouped up, not giving up on his search for you just yet. At one point he even caught a sight of Weasley’s red head of hair but you were no where around him, he seemed to be looking for someone too, Granger he assumed. The two of you must’ve been together somewhere else, which seemed odd but understandable. A thought ran through the back of Draco’s head, maybe you liked to spend time with him as long as it was in private, maybe the thought of being seen with him bothered you and you had decided to stand him up. He shook the thought away and tried to focus on what was going on in front of him.

The second challenge consisted of ‘recovering something that had been taken from them’ from within the depths of the black lake, the champions would be under water for an hour and would only count as winners if they brought the item back. He was eager to see how Potter would get out of this one. Once the four contenders disappeared under water there wasn’t much more to see, Draco tried to insert himself into the chatter going on in the group behind him but the image of you kept popping into his head, it wasn’t like you to just disappear, specially when your friend was just about to submerge into the black lake for an hour, but he tried to distract his mind elsewhere.

It was only when he saw Vikktor Krum come up with Hermione in his hands that it clicked for him. ‘Something that had been taken from them’ that something was a person, someone important to the contestant, and if Granger was with Krum and Weasley was waiting for them on the other side of the platform... then that meant you were under water, and Potter was still nowhere to be seen.

Draco’s heart started beating at a rate he thought impossible before that moment. He pushed his way through the slytherin crowd slamming himself against the second and first years and eventually getting to where people were expecting the contestants to resurface. The gryffindor girl was still trying to recover on the side of the platform, Weasly and a teacher giving her towels to dry up and get warm. Draco grabbed the redhead’s arm and pulled him up and aside aggressively.

“Bloody hell, what’s your problem, Malfoy? Can’t you see i’m busy?” he replied not even looking back at him and keeping his eyes on Hermione.

“Y/N, is she down there too?” Draco asked, pulling his arm once again to get his attention. “Is she the one Potter is supposed to bring up?”

“I know as much as you do mate” Ron said back freeing himself from Draco’s grip abruptly. “but yeah, by the looks of it she’s the one friend of Harry who’s missing, so i assume it’s her.” With those words Ron returned to his place next to Hermione and left Draco terrified and frozen in his place.

The one hour period was nearing its end and Harry was still no where to be seen. Every second from the moment Draco found out about you being tied up at the bottom of the black lake felt like an eternity, no amount of calming thoughts could make the brutal feeling in his chest go away. He thought back on all the times you two spent together, how you looked so carefree sometimes and so concerned and lost in thought others, how your face lit up when you laughed or tense up when he teased you about something, the many opportunities he had to tell you how he felt more than just platonic things for you, that he actually dreamt about you day and night but was too scared to do anything about it, and how he would be the happiest man alive if he ever got the chance to wake up next to you, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you truly are.

The young slytherin looked up to the sky and promised to anyone or anything that could help him, even just to himself, that if you were brought back to him safe and sound he wouldn’t waste another second with you, he’d tell you all the things he felt for you as soon as he got the chance, and if you allowed him he’d take care of you for the rest of his life, all he needed was for you to be in his arms once again.

As if the universe had heard his pleas, Potter came back up with not only you in his arms but Fleur Delacour’s sister as well. Draco ran to the edge of the platform to help you up as you were still gasping for air, Harry didn’t even question why he was helping as he pushed you up for him to grab you. You were still coughing out water when the platinum blonde boy wrapped you around with a towel and tried to sit you up so you could get it all out.

“Hey, hey, breathe, try to breath, you’re ok i’m here with you, it’s ok.” He tried to calm you down with his words while feeling you try to take deeper breaths with him.

“I think Y/N’s hurt, her leg... i think it’s injured.” Potter said from next to Draco where Hermione and Ron were trying to dry him up.

Draco’s hand immediately went to your leg, which was covered by your robe, but underneath it the uniform socks were ripped up and a pretty nasty wound could be seen causing blood to drip down.

The concern that filled Draco’s heart was quickly replaced by anger when he turned his head back to Harry. “How could you let them do this to her? How could you put her in so much danger? She could’ve fucking died down there and it would’ve been your fault, you really can’t do anything other than put everyone around you at risk, can you Potter?” His words were brutal and loud, loud enough for everyone around them to hear, even through the loudness of the crowd, but Draco didn’t care.

“Malfoy, shut it. This isn’t his fault, he didn’t chose for this to happen.” Hermione barked back while looking at him with a mixture of fury and confusion as to why he seemed to care so much about you all of a sudden.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. It’s never his fault is it? Cause he’s the chosen one and nothing that ever happens is his fault, it’s all an unfortunate occurrence that he never has to take responsibility for even though if it wasn’t for him none of this would’ve ever-” Draco’s words were cut off by your hand going up to his face, you felt freezing cold and soft against his skin and it was so unexpected it forced him to look down at you who were still on his lap.

“Draco... stop, not now.” you said still sounding out of breath. “I need you to take me to Madam Pomfrey, my leg hurts.”

Draco’s heart broke at the way your eyes looked at him, almost pleading, swollen and tired. “Yes, of course. Hold on tight, darling, let me know if I hurt you.”

He lifted you up and carried you in his arms, ignoring the shocked and confused looks everyone was throwing his way, also leaving Potter and his bunch behind, he’d deal with them later. Your eyes shut close once again and your face cuddled into Draco’s neck, looking for warmth and comfort. He briefly looked once again up to the sky, thanking whatever helped bring you back, not forgetting about the promise he’d made before. He would do it, once you were alright.

Madam Pomfrey had to force Draco out of the room to keep him from bombarding her with questions about your state. He paced back and forth in front of the door for around thirty minutes before he was allowed back in. You were laying on the same bed he’d set you on moments before, just now wearing a more comfortable attire. Your leg was wrapped up in bandages and raised up on top of a couple pillows. Once Draco got close enough your eyes drifted over to him, in your four years of knowing him you’d never seen such worry in his face. His hand looked for yours and held it tightly while taking a seat on a chair that was placed next to your bed.

“You have no idea how worried I was” He said still struggling to pace his breath down.

You squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Draco, I’m ok. It doesn’t even hurt anymore, I’m heavily drugged but at least it looks like my leg will stay in one piece.”

The blond slytherin chuckled softly and seemed to relax a little. “I’m going to murder your friend as soon as I get a chance, I hope you know that.”

“No you won’t.” Your eyes pierced through his while a serious expression took over your face. “We are not arguing over this, it wasn’t his fault.”

“You’re right, we’re not arguing over it, there is nothing you can threaten me with to keep me from putting him back at the bottom of the black lake” He said with his signature scowl plastered on his face.

“We can instead talk about what we’re going to tell the entire school once I’m out of here. That hero act you pulled back there is not gonna be easy to explain while keeping your reputation intact.”

“Fuck my reputation” He replied looking away. This took you by surprise, there were many things Draco Malfoy was, a person who didn’t care about his reputation or what others thought of him wasn’t one of them.

“Who are you and what have you done with Draco?” You asked teasingly.

He took a deep breath before looking back at you. “I’m being serious, Y/N.”

“So... you don’t care what Slytherins say about you being friends with Potter’s friend?”

“There’s something we need to talk about. I-” Draco’s words were cut off by the door swinging open behind him. Before he could even fully turn around to look at who it was, he heard Hermione’s rushed steps and her loud and piercing voice, Weasley following behind her closely.

“Oh, Y/N. I’m so glad you’re ok. We were all worried to death, I wanted to come right away but Professor Mcgonagall forced me to go dry up and change clothes, she said I would catch a cold otherwise.” Her arms were thrown over your neck pulling you up harshly.

“Mione, I appreciate the enthusiasm but I’m still a bit sore.” You said muffled by her hug.

“Right, sorry.”

The chatter that came after was barely heard by Draco, the thought of what he’d been so close to telling you started to weight on him. Doubt begun to take over, maybe it wasn’t the right time, maybe he was being stupid for even thinking someone as good as you could ever reciprocate feelings as intense as the ones he had. But he’d made a promise, and if there was even just a slim chance you’d feel a fraction of what he felt for you, he would take the risk.

Draco was fully willing to wait there until your friends left so you two could finish your conversation, but it was when Potter walked in he realized he wasn’t welcome anymore. The shock and unpleasantness on his when he saw Draco said it all. For your sake and his own, he decided to stand up from his place and leave the confrontation for later. But before Draco could get far your hand pulled his back to get his attention.

“Draco...” your voice was strong, not discreet or ashamed to address him in front of your friends, but loud and assuring. “Thank you, for everything.”

The way you took a moment to make sure he knew you were grateful for what he’d done for you, even with Potter and the others around, showed him he mattered to you, even just a little. It was all Draco needed to be confident in his decision. He was going to tell you how he felt, maybe not today, but he would do it.

“Any time.” Was all he replied before walking out with a smirk on his lips and the warm feeling taking over his heart again.

#draco fic #draco x y/n #draco x reader #draco imagine #draco smut #draco malfoy #draco x oc #draco x you #harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley #goblet of fire #harry potter fic #draco fanfiction #draco fluff #draco angst

[ice-assiest]

wing-ferret (korra x reader) pt. 1 of 2

hello hello!  ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶

Authors note: this is my first korra x reader and I plan to do many more because currently she is the love of my life. But also I’ll do like any character from lok so let me know!! i would love requests and would try to do as many as I can that will fit into my schedule at uni. anyways this is the first part out of two! the second part might get a little steamy heh heh heh.

Pairing: Korra x Reader

Warnings: none for part one

✧ Childhood best friend typa deal (but it shall evolve muhahaha)

“Naga, what am I going to do?” You asked helplessly, looking deep into her polar bear dog eyes for any semblance of guidance or wisdom. Instead you saw a profound blackness that seemed devoid of thought. As she gave you a happy lick on the cheek you sighed and gave her a pat, moving on to the next confidant you had chosen.

“Okay. No help from you today. How about you Oogi?”

Oogi gave you the very telling response of the slow blink of his eyes.

“Very insightful Oogi, but not exactly what I need.” You now turned to the fire ferret, hoping the look in your eyes would indicate your need of a companion. “Pabu, please! Give me anything. Our other friends don’t want to listen today.” His ears perked up in attention as he shuffled his way over before taking a seat in front of you.

“I knew you would help!” You exclaimed, giving him soft scratch behind his ear. “Here’s the issue,” You began, taking a seat in front of him. “You know Korra? She’s the avatar, it’s kind of a big deal. Anyways. She’s leaving soon and if she leaves now I might never get the chance to tell her again!”

While your statement was a bit dramatic, it did hold a semblance of truth. You were one of the new air benders, and a pretty good one at that. After a long and arduous station in a recovering Earth kingdom city you had returned to Air Temple Island for a bit. You returned to Air Temple Island at an opportune time it seemed given that the Avatar and her friends were all gathering.

“Now why is that a problem you might ask, and what do you have to tell her you also might ask.” You said, getting up to pace around the fire ferret. “One, I think she’s really amazing.” At your words Pabu seemed to nod. “Two, uh.” You started, although your face began to grow hot. “I’ve known her a long time, we basically grew up together. It took me a while to realize it but whenever I was around her things felt different.”

Your father was one of the men Tenzin had entrusted to keep Korra safe as she mastered the elements, and he was quite proud of it. You were one of the only friends Korra had growing up besides Naga, and despite annoying you occasionally she was still your favorite of them all.

You remembered sparring with her the most, you were a non-bender at the time and prided yourself in being able to keep up with the avatar in combat. You always begged her not to go easy on you and for the most part she didn’t, she wasn’t that type of person. She was the type of person to get hyper-invested in the penguin sledding race you were having and either become extremely giddy when she won or excessively annoyed and challenge you again when she lost, and you loved that.

There’s that word again, love. You gulped as you looked towards Pabu with soft eyes. “When she left the Southern Water Tribe it hurt. A lot. That’s not her fault, it would have hurt anyways and it was best for her to leave. I just can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I had went with her.”

The day that Korra passed her fire bending exam and was permitted to begin training in air bending was momentous for the both of you.

“(Y/N)! I get to start my air bending training! Tenzin’s coming today.” She exclaimed as she slammed the door open to your uncle’s steamed dumpling shop. The power of her slam and the door against the wall caused the dumplings to fly right off of the old man in the shop’s plate.

“Oh. Sorry about that.” She said as she awkwardly scratched the back of her head and gave her signature avatar slanted smile.

“You’re the Avatar!” He said in surprise, only slightly disappointed by the lack of dumplings in front of him.

“Congratulations!” You ran towards her from behind the counter engulfing her in a big hug. She hugged back passionately, gripping you as tightly as she could. You began to get lost in her presence, her scent, the feeling of her frame against yours. Blush began to spread across your face as you felt her firm muscles against you, but also the softness of her chest.

You both pulled back slightly, looking each other in the eyes. Your heart felt as if it were going to burst out of your chest and you wondered if she felt it too. There was something so sweet about her face, about the way she looked at you with her blue eyes. It made your chest feel tight.

“How did you even get here? You shouldn’t be sneaking out so much!” You whispered with a smile, your love struck eyes still holding her gaze.

Despite your words you knew fairly well that she could handle the guards as you thought back to the time she had gotten in trouble for fighting a group of them – and winning might you add – although she would never tell you why.

“Don’t worry about that.” She said, pausing before looking you over. Embarrassed you averted your gaze to look downwards. “You’re my best friend. I love you, you know that right? I always will.”

There it went. You were pretty sure you watched your heart soar out of your chest and into the heavens. Instead of responding you just hugged her harder, nuzzling yourself in the crook of her neck.

I could stay here forever. You thought to yourself, although it seemed fate had other plans

“Uh. Not to interrupt, but could I get the check?” The old man asked as he looked at the two of you with questioning eyes.

“Yes, yes. Of course, I’m sorry! I’ll throw some extra dumplings in for the road.”

After that day, well she was pretty much gone. You desperately wanted to go with her but you had responsibilities in the water tribe. She had them elsewhere, it pained you but it seemed like fate just didn’t want the two of you together.  You saw her once a year later while visiting your aunt in Republic City, before her battle against Vaatu. She was with someone who was seemingly her boyfriend and a very pretty woman who appeared to be her friend. 

In that moment your heart froze wondering what to do. You hadn’t spoken to her in so long and didn’t want to intrude but at the same time the Korra that you knew would have been happy if you did. 

The fire nation boy leaned closer to her and grabbed her hand as they walked. You looked at Korra and the two people surrounding her, they were definitely cooler than you. Your heart fell as you watched them at the table across from you and your aunt in the park, they seemed to be getting ready to go.

Maybe she’d be embarrassed to see me with her new friends. You thought, still contemplating whether you were going to say something. Then she looked up, Korra had locked eyes with you. The same warm eyes that looked at you as she told you she loved you, although now she was looking at you with confusion splayed across her face. 

Her friends were already up and about to leave. When she noticed you were looking back she quickly got up to join them as well, her boyfriend giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. You saw her mouth move to tell him something and then both their eyes were on you again while attempting to be indiscreet. Keyword being attempted. You noticed and it haunted you for the longest time, maybe she really was embarrassed to see you in public.

“Anyways, the next time I saw her was here. I haven’t said anything yet and I don’t think she’s seen me but I need to air my grievances Pabu.” The ferret moved to nuzzle up besides you and you thanked him by petting him softly. “Also, I think the biggest problem is. I still have feeling for her.”

“You like Korra!?” You jumped in surprise, looking at Pabu with your mouth agape before realizing it was not the fire ferret that spoke but instead a wide-eyed earth bender. Gasping you stumbled backwards as you instinctively air bended at Bolin. His eyes widened as the gust of air had thrust him backwards causing him to land on his behind. Feeling bad you rushed over, inspecting him as he rubbed the back of his head.

“You shouldn’t spy on people like that!”

“(Y/N)! No, no, no, no! It wasn’t anything like that I swear! I was just looking for Pabu and then I heard you speaking and-” He prattled on. You looked at him and sighed knowing he wouldn’t be the type of person to do something like that. The two of you had gotten to know each other very well when your paths had collided in the Earth Kingdom.

“Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” You asked hesitantly, scanning the man who now held a deep deep secret of yours.

“Don’t worry (Y/N), my lips are sealed.” He said as he made a motion of zipping up his mouth with his hands. For some reason you didn’t fully trust him. “Some call me Bolin, the master of keeping secrets.” He continued.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it, just please Bolin promise me.” His eyes softened as he heard your voice waver.

“I promise. Plus, this might be the best accident to ever happen to you.” Your eyebrows shot up at his response.

“How so?”

“Because you now have the best wing-man and wing-ferret on your case, and I’ve got a plan.”

You watched as Bolin smiled excitedly, ready to tell you his plan. You knew it might not be the wisest to go with it but as you thought of Korra you sighed. What other option did you have?

“Okay. I’m in.”

#lok #legend of korra #korra #korra x reader #lok korra x reader #wlw #korra imagine #legend of korra x reader #mako x reader #lok x reader #writing #asami #bolin #oogi #pabu #naga #legend of korra fluff #korra fluff #lok fluff #avatar korra imagine #korra oneshot #korra x you #x reader #atla #omg this is my first time posting a fic on tumblr im so nervous #but anyone reading this i heart you so much

[gallavictorious]

So. Mickey as an unofficial and entirely involuntary role model for South Side queers.

Thing is, while Kev's assertion that 'no one cares who you bang' largely seems to hold true, I still can't see it not causing at least a tiny bit of stir when the news first hit. You know, in general everyone just seem to know a lot about everyone else in the neighborhood, and maybe they know an extra lot about the Milkoviches because they're pretty damned dangerous, and you'd do well to stay both informed and clear of them. Now, Mickey is the neighborhood thug of his generation: the son and likely successor of a violent and homophobic Nazi, so him coming out as gay at his son's christening is... Well. Word gets around, is my point, even if most people are too busy with their own shitty lives to pay too much attention to Mickey's, beyond a wry observation or two.

Except some do pay attention. Some keep all this in their hearts and think about it often.

The years pass; Mickey goes to prison and escapes and returns and gets engaged; Terry burns down the wedding venue and threatens to kill him, Mickey gets married all the same. Word gets around, again. Life goes on, still.

And then one chilly February afternoon Mickey is walking home from wherever when he's approached by a teenage boy asking: “Uh, hey. You're Mickey Milkovich, right?”

In Mickey's experience that isn't the sort of question that leads to hugs and handshakes, so he's immediately wary, but a quick look at the boy dispels most of his concern. Sure, the kid looks nothing but South Side, scrappy like: can probably both take and dole out a beating, but he's clearly nervous – and not nervous in a way that suggests that he's about to do something utterly stupid like try to rob or murder Mickey. So, Mickey relaxes a little and lights a cigarette. Is maybe the tiniest bit curious, but mostly annoyed. “What the hell do you want?”

The kid hems and haws and Mickey is just about ready to walk away from this stammering snooze-fest when boy finally blurts: “I'm gay!”

What the actual fuck? Mickey stares. “Yeah? So fucking what? I'm married, asshole, and wouldn't be banging kids even if I wasn't.”

“No! Yeah, no, I mean – I know. I'm not... “ The kid's staring down at the ground. “I never told anyone before,” he adds softly.

Okay, that... does something strange to Mickey's insides, but he still has no idea what the hell is going on here. “You wanna talk to Ian?” he hazards. “Gay Jesus?” Riding out to save the day for troubled teens is Ian's thing, isn't it, but fuck, he really hopes he isn't starting with that shit again -

But the kid is shaking his head. “No, man, I was looking for you. 'Cause with your dad and everything I though that maybe... “ He pauses again, swallows. “I think my family's gonna be really angry if they find out.”

Ah. Still doesn't explain how that is any of Mickey's problem, but for some reason he can't find it in him to just shrug and walk away. He bites his lip. “They gonna kill you?”

“N-no. I mean... I don't think so. No.”

Then what the fuck are you whining about, you fucking pussy, Mickey doesn't say. He considers the kid, pale and damned near shaking before him, and wonders what he is supposed to say, what the hell the boy wants from him. Why the fuck isn't Ian here to deal with this shit? He'd be much better at it; he'd fucking love it, what with that goddamned Messiah complex he's got going...

But the kid hasn't come for Ian; he's come for Mickey and while Mickey isn't sure how the hell he came up with that brilliant notion it probably has something to do with the fact that Ian, for all he is as South Side as they come, still looks and walks and talks like someone who... well, whose homosexuality wouldn't completely shock you. This kid doesn't, and Mickey doesn't either. There's South Side and then there's South Side.

He gives a long sigh and tosses his cigarette butt to the pavement.

“Listen. I have no fucking idea if your family is gonna be cool with you loving cock or whatever, but if they're not, they're not, and that's not gonna fucking change, no matter how long you wait. Sooner or later you'll have to say something 'cause you'll be fucking miserable if you don't, and if it's gonna suck either way you might as well get it over with.”

He pauses, for a moment hesitating over what he wants to say next, because it's fucking soft and reveals way too much and... Fuck it. He clears his throat: “Fear's worse than whatever comes after anyway,” he says gruffly, not looking at the kid. Then, because this is the South Side and he ain't nothing but pragmatic, he adds: “You think it's gonna get violent, tell someone you think might roll with it first and bring them to back you up. Fuck it, pay someone to have your back if you have to. Or do it somehwere public so someone calls for help if it gets out of hand. Hit them back and hit them hard, yeah? Lots of people gonna think you're a pussy for taking it up the ass, or giving it or whatever, and you wanna shut that down real quick, or you gonna be having the same fucking conversation over and over. You hear me?”

The kid nods jerkily. He still looks slightly terrified – which is good because the last thing Mickey needs is some teenage queer running after him like a kicked puppy – but he looks strangely elated too. Hopeful, maybe; determined.

Mickey lets out a long breath, like a sigh. Can't quite belive he is doing this, but: “You have somewhere to go if shit goes sidways?”

A shrug. “I dunno. Maybe. I have an aunt down in Alsip. Maybe she'd let me crash there.”

“Give me your phone.” The kids looks surprised but does as he's told without comment. Mickey quickly enters his own number and hands the phonbe back. “Things go south, you text me,” he says. “I might know a guy who can help.” Though if that happens he is absolutely dumping this on Ian, who probably knows a lot of people who live for this short of shit. Fucking hippies.

“Thank you, man,” the kids begins. “I really - “

Mickey waves him away. “Yeah, yeah, get the fuck out of here.”

The kid does and Mickey remains standing there for a moment, staring after him and wondering what the hell just happened. This is all Gallagher's fault, he decides. Shit like this you can always safely blame on Ian. Not that he'll mention any of this to him, because fuck no.

And if few days later there is a text from an unknown number, saying just: “talked to my family they're pretty freaked but it went ok thanks” and if Mickey does feel a small surge of something not entirely different from satisfaction reading it, well... Whatever. It is what it is. Not like it's gonna be a regular thing or whatever.

But once more, it seems, word gets around, because there will be others. Not too many of them, but enough that it does become a bit of a thing; kids showing up outside his home or his work, or on his way to and fro. Mostly they just want to talk; want some kind of reassurance that there's a way to be gay and South Side, and you can still be a tough motherfucker while sucking some other dude's dick. Mickey primarily provides such reassurance by being a tough South Side motherfucker who swears and scowls and glares at them, but apparently this kind of works? There's a bit of practical advice at times, like “listen, if you brother can't accept you like banging guys he doesn't really give a crap about you so just cut him out” or “don't fucking hesitate, they start with that shit you punch them in the throat, like this”, and maybe a few instances of Mickey hunting down and kicking the shit out of some bullies or family members, if he decides that the kid isn't likely to manage it on their own and deserves a hand.

Now, Mickey doesn't exactly hide this shit from Ian, but he doesn't really mention it either because... Well, he just doesn't. The whole things is fucking weird, anyway. He doesn't know why he puts up with these stupid brats and he sure as hell didn't ask to be anyone's fucking guardian angel.

But of course Ian finds out eventually, and he is absolutely torn between mercilessly teasing Mickey about it (aaaaaw, Mick, it's so sweet that you care!) and just covering Mickey's entire body in kisses because he's so damned delighted and proud (I mean, it is sweet that Mick cares; hot too). In the end he probably goes for both, but pretty gently, because he knows Mickey and knows that making too big a deal out of it might freak him out. Or not. It's always hard to tell when Mickey will be embarrassed about something and when he'll just declare that liking what he likes doesn't make him a bitch. Ian figures it's better not to take the risk, though, not when they are teenagers in need out there! So, a little moderate ribbing, a lot of particularly attentive sex, and Mickey finds that he doesn't mind Ian knowing so much after all, because there's something about that stupid redhead looking at him like he's a fucking wonder that feels pretty good.

So maybe he'll keep on helping the kids, if they keep on showing up. You know, out of pure self-interest.

---

A/N: I'm still not sure if this idea is my own or if I've seen it discussed elsewhere, which seriously bugs me, but I was too invested in the notion to let it lie. If you happen to know of a fic or meta discussing similar themes, I'd love a link. Also tagging @sickness-health-all-that-shit because you expressed an interest. ;)

#mickey milkovich #gallavich #ficlet meta #my stuff

[missnight0wl]

If you have any problems with me being Rakepick’s fan, me being overly passionate and invested in her character, my analyses and theories about Rakepick or whatever, I have two things to say to you:

If it really bothers you so much that you feel the need to share it with someone, why don’t you come to me? The anonymous messages are on on my blog, at least for now. What’s the deal with people talking about problems they apparently have with me with someone else? And I’m not even talking about the recent reblog. Do you think that I won’t see the messages on other blogs and recognise that it’s about me? Do you think that somebody else can explain my ideas better than I can? If you have problems with my theories or you just want to call them pointless or “reaching”, write to me. Are you worried that I’ll respond with arguments you can’t argue with? Are you afraid I’ll insult you? I never claimed to be the nicest person, but I think I’m not that bad. Sure, I swear a lot, but in the vast majority, it’s aimed at Jam City and their stupid writing decisions. So, what’s the deal with that?

If the things I write make you uncomfortable, bother you, you feel attacked, or you simply dislike the ideas I write about, especially when it comes to Rakepick – please, unfollow or block me. I mean it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that if you don’t like Rakepick you can’t follow me. If you don’t like her, but still find something on my blog you enjoy… I’m kind of surprised, to be honest, but that’s also great. Otherwise, I just don’t see why you shouldn’t remove me from your Tumblr experience. Seriously, I never had the desire to be popular in this fandom or even liked. I’m not saying that I actively want to be disliked, but I’m here just to put my ideas into the world (and because it’s easier to control than Reddit). If someone likes them – fantastic! If not, I don’t need you to see them. I don’t want you to see them if they annoy you.

Also, I apparently insult people who don’t like Rakepick. Now, I never called anyone “stupid” simply because they don’t like her. I never will because that’s not what I think. In fact, I don’t recall ever calling anyone that word in specific, but maybe I’m forgetting something. Either way, the only times when I spoke negatively about people being against Rakepick referred always to situations where they comment on my long-ass analysis and/or theories, totally ignoring what I discussed in the said posts. For example, people talking about Umbridge having a Patronus under my analysis of Rakepick’s symbolism. Situations like that take place because of two possible reasons:

People comment on my posts WITHOUT even reading them. If that’s the case... it’s actually plain stupid. Seriously, I’m not even sorry, it just is. Also, don’t do it, please. Like, EVER. No matter if it’s my post, someone else’s post, if it’s about HPHM, other game, book, movie, politics, science… Just don’t comment on something you didn’t actually read. Even if you think you’re familiar with the topic, if there’s a longer text, there may be some information you didn’t know. If you didn’t put time and effort into familiarizing with something someone else has to say, it’s pretty rude to expect that they’ll waste their time on reading your comment and possibly explaining to you something they already explained.

People did read my post but TOTALLY missed the point. In that case, I’m a bit sorry, but… I also can’t think of you too highly... Again, I’m talking about very specific situations! Like, I’m aware that perhaps I’m not always super clear about everything, but if you talk about Umbridge to debunk my theory after I explained in 800+ words (with quotations to the outside sources) why it’s important that Rakepick’s Patronus is a lioness… Either you have serious problems with reading comprehension or you just weren’t paying attention at all. If it’s the latter, you kind of wasted your time, and now you’re wasting mine.

Now, I don’t want to say that I’m always right in my theories about Rakepick, but here’s another thing: until this day, no one was able to really debunk them. Like, with proper argumentation. I never had anyone come to me and say: “All right, but you’re forgetting about [this and that] which suggests [this and that], and that contradicts your assumption”. Nobody ever said: “The way I understand [this and that] is different. I think it means [this and that] which proves [this and that]”. All people have is: “Rakepick is evil because she tortured Merula and killed Rowan”. But if you come to me with those arguments, I’ll show you other essays I wrote to prove that it’s just not true. Such things happen in the stories, y’know, especially the ones intended to be mysteries stories. And surprisingly, nobody could properly debunk those essays either! But you know what? I’d love to have a discussion like that. I’d love someone to finally explain to me how this story can work WITH Rakepick being evil and WITHOUT leaving dozens of serious plot holes. Believe me, I really tried to make it work, and I failed each time. Things simply… don’t add up. And my main point is that they CAN add up! And I did it: I joined many dots from the very beginning of the game in this analysis: Why Rakepick didn’t appear before Y4? HPHM explained. So, if I’m showing you that 2 + 2 is 4, why you insist that it’s 5 when your only argument is that Jam City is bad at maths?

And if we got to Jam City’s bad writing already… If you think that Rakepick is gonna be truly evil because the writers just don’t know what they’re doing anymore – that’s fine. I mean, I don’t exactly agree with that. I believe that they’ll follow the original plans for the story, they’ll just do a shitty job at explaining things, but that’s a topic for a separate conversation. Still, I’d like you to understand that there’s a difference between saying:

“You’re wrong. 2 + 2 is 5 because JC is bad at maths.”

and

“I see what you’re saying, and you’re right that according to that 2 + 2 is 4, but I think JC is gonna say it’s 5 because they’re bad at maths.”

Do you see it? 

Now, I don’t want to complain here, but... I write long analyses on HPHM for my own pleasure, and it is satisfying for me. However, it doesn’t change the fact that it takes some time and work, so when people actively dismiss it, it feels a bit rude. And if you actually think I’m wrong in saying that 2 + 2 is 4, then explain to me why you think so. Or if you have doubts about my reasoning, send me an ask. I think it happened just once that I got a question like: “Hey, I don’t get one thing about your theory. Could you explain it?”. I’m not talking here about discussions I have with people in reblogs or comments, though those are also brilliant, and I appreciate them. Sometimes people ask about their ideas inspired by my theories. Either way, I have to say – it’s a great feeling to get responses like that. Because it shows that people not only read my posts but that they make them think. And as I said, I might not always explain everything the most clearly despite my efforts. But then just ask me.

That’s pretty much all I wanted to say, I guess. So yeah. If you actually can explain to me why you don’t agree with my views on Rakepick, my inbox is open. It can take me a while to respond because there’s kind of a revolution in my country right now, and y’know, the world is basically burning in general, so my mind might be elsewhere. But I’ll get to it eventually.

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #patricia rakepick #pro rakepick #jam city #marta rambles

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Last year, due to COVID-19, my usual event of the Renaissance Festival was canceled. For over 10 years, I have gone every year on Labor Day, even when I lived out of state, I returned. I believe not having it for one year was one of the straws that broke the camel’s back last year and led me into therapy.

I’m a creature of routine and control, things which are obviously at odds with the process of dying, which is quite often a gradual, and then an entire, loss of control and routine.

Aging changes what we are capable of, which forces changes to routine.

This event, however, taught me a little about staying still.

Usually, I have more money to spend at these events, and I’m moving through the fair looking for places to spend it. This year, I kept much to my savings for Disney, and could not move with the same enthusiasm to look for goods. Wandering around aimlessly at the Festival was, well, boring.

So, I learned to stay put. Watch shows I never gave much attention to before, and people watch a bit more, too. I left early, not waiting for the final festivities after the last joust, but learned a couple of things.

First, that while I am indeed a creature of habit, I am more a creature of plan. The aimless wonderings were off-putting, but not irreconcilable once I started to figure out show times and develop a plan based around those. Doing new things wasn’t bad, what was bad was not having a plan. It didn’t help that they weren’t giving away programs when we arrived, so I couldn’t have pre-planned a bit earlier in the day.

Second, of course, is that things still happen when you’re staying still. This is true in general with life. I’m not at all suggesting or saying don’t travel, and don’t act, I’ve suggested travel and acting too much for that! What I am saying is that you can miss out on things by moving around, traveling, and such, too.

It’s just a question of what you prefer to miss out on.

This year, I missed out on shopping, and instead took away memories of new shows – the Jolly Rogers, the Dangerous Curves improve comedies, two jousts (not unusual, that), and Fairy and Maypole dancing! I interacted a bit more with the people who were there, and even got swag.

It is true, this year was smaller. The rain on the day, and the pandemic, made sure of that. There were even supply issues at the RenFest – no coffee!

Yet, everyone who was there, was so happy to be there. That was palatable. The rain couldn’t keep anyone down.

So, why am I writing about this here? What is the relevance to you who are seeking help in solving your death anxiety?

The first is the recognition of an event that helped lead to the downward spiral. Plenty had to do with health issues during 2020, but other parts of it were the problems of not having a norm, of traditions being broken. I imagine for many, the lack of traditions and ways to tell time, were also problematic. Holidays not spent with family because of travel restrictions, working away from the office, movie releases going to the wayside, conventions, state fairs, festivals – these were gone, for the most part.

It's okay to consider that the death anxiety was heightened last year, and acknowledge it, because of those changes. It’s okay to consider that it’s still heightened this year because things aren’t completely evened out yet. In fact, it’s good to consider that. That can give you hope that when things even out, this may relax, too. Not for all of us, not all the time, but for some of us, or for some of the time.

The second is more for people who are a bit like me, on the controlling side, and the recognition that just “going with the flow” can be hard, but not impossible, to navigate. Loose plans can work and help mitigate that feeling. I intend to draw up loose plans for my trip to Disney so I won’t end up aimlessly wandering and thus be plagued with a restlessness.

The third is more a reminder that I think gets lost in our ambitious society: that standing still, staying where you are, is still a choice, and not a bad one. Things happen around you. They may not be as exciting as things elsewhere, but they happen.

I’ve never appreciated my dad’s love of sitting on the porch and watching the neighborhood, but I understand it, in a way. He sees things I don’t. He is more invested in the neighborhood and the news here than I am, and I am able to get summaries from him of events. And I like the summaries, the way someone not invested in Marvel films may like to know what’s going on, all the same, to keep up with popular culture.

I’ve always known things happen, no matter where we are. I’ve just always preferred to go seeking it, rather than wait for it to happen around me.

But it can happen around you. And you can also make it happen, too.

But no matter what, somewhere, somehow, you are missing out on things. Once you accept that, it becomes a little easier to consider that one day, you’ll miss out on everything that is to come.

People in the future, have already missed out on so much – and so much of being a part of something, too, is the anticipation. Perhaps they’ll be able to see all the Marvel films, but they’ll never know the anticipation of waiting and theorizing over what is going to happen.

There is something special to living in moments. Just as there is something special to living after moments.

And though one day we will be out of moments, let’s never forget to enjoy and treasure the moments we get, even the ones where you’re just sitting back, and waiting.

#death anxiety talk #death anxiety #thanatophobia #traditions #you're always missing out on something #missing out

[every1studio]

SPECIAL: “pirates versus kidz” [ateez + straykids]

genre: misc. + mafia!au (mafia: violence, some hints of spice) + female reader 

ficstyle: bulletpoints + alternate versions [INTRO]

requested: “detective y/n gets involved with two conflicting mafias and has the hearts of the leaders”

note: this is a birthday special to celebrate my birthday (,: so if you all don’t mind this is written is my two bias wreckers / ft. X1′s Hangyul

you were hustling papers on your desk

what was once a clean space, now looked like it was hit by a hurricane

“detective Y/N?!” the booming voice of your commander echoed the room

you left the mess to go respond to his order

“yes, sir?” you answered formally yet casually since he was like a father to you

“I want you to go undercover for the underground conflicts between Pirates and KidZ..”

you felt a cold coat of unsettling chill ghost over your skin, “by myself?”

the commander firmly nodded, “you are the most tactically trained and skilled in the whole city and you would be one of the top detectives in this country. and the less police presence we have, the more intel we’ll get. that’s all we want from them for now..”

you nodded as you took the file on the mafia gangs and left the room

you shlumped back down at your nightmare of a desk, “just intel, huh?”

you felt someone reaching near your personal space so out of reflex, you grabbed the person’s arm and pulled their arm back while shoving their head on your desk

“Y/N! IT’S ME. IT’S ME, HANGYUL!” your kid-of-a-partner was trying to scare you but it backfired on him

you immediately let go of him, nudged him as you ruffled his hair, “what do you think you’re doing?!”

Hangyul widely smiles, “you looked down so I wanted to lift up the mood.. what’s up..”

you shrugged, “chief wants me to go undercover..”

“for Pirates and KidZ case?”

you gave him a sharp and confused look, “does everyone here know except me?”

“nope, just me.. since I’m your partner and I needed to know where you are. just so that I wouldn’t go berserk if I couldn’t get a hold of you...”

you pinched his cheeks as you tidied your desk

“the mafia wouldn’t stand a chance..” you joked trying to make light of the whole situation

you were the youngest to graduate from the academy so you’ve been with the police department throughout your whole life up until this point

being in invested in this career from a young age this was all you knew and now you’re taking a couple steps ahead of yourself with this case

you looked over the files

Pirates: known for robbing banks and big international robberies involving rare art and jewelry; they are known to have 8 leaders and are big in numbers. also hard to track down. they are constantly traveling but their home base is somewhere in Korea

KidZ: known for global hacking, large amounts of counterfeiting and gambling; they have 9 leaders that are stationed in the most populated areas of the world. come together once a month; home base is also somewhere in Korea

what would these two mafias have in common that they would be each others enemies? 

money, it always came down to money; it didn’t matter if it was blood money or stolen money.. and that was why the police had to be involved, too many people were being affected by these mafia gangs

later that week, you went to a club both of the gangs went to 

although they were enemies, they were more like frenemies; friends who always competed against each other 

you were slightly uncomfortable wearing something that would catch so much attention

and sooner than expected, you were met by Pirates first

you saw their photos through the files; but the photos really didn’t do them justice 

although they were criminals, they were mighty good-looking 

one of them especially caught your eye, but you fought it because you were on a job 

maybe it was luck, but that exact guy from Pirates made a strong gaze at you 

you put up a shy persona as looked away; pretending like you were caught in hungry stare but were you really pretending?

the guy sat down without looking at you at first, “I’ll pay for anything, the lady wants..”

you looked around secretively if there were any other girls around but you were the only one

you “nervously” ran your bangs out of your face and brought your hands down to rub your neck, “w-were you talking about me?”

the guy leans in; his body was completely facing you

“any guy here would be stupidly blind not to treat a girl like you with drinks and affection..” he grazed the back of his fingers on your arm 

you felt a sensual chill run up and down your spine but you bit on your lips to stay focused 

he gets closer to your ears as he eyes you from head to toe, “the name’s Yunho..”

Yunho reaches over to take your hand and kisses it

you blushed through your innocent smile, “Aurora..” 

you had to use a false name, you had to run it over in your head over and over and over so that you wouldn’t get caught off guard by the littlest thing like exposing your real name

“the pretty lady has a pretty name to match her pretty face...” he’s more flirty and gentle than what it said in the files 

the files said he was ruthless and being the tallest one of his pack, he had no problem with fighting more than a couple of guys at a time 

if you didn’t know, you would’ve thought that he was just a normal, confident alpha guy trying to get at you

by the time you got your drink, he sat even closer to you; if you had cross you legs, your leg would fall completely on his leg

Yunho, being extremely charming as he was, had a frightening aura to him 

you noticed the leader of Pirates, Hongjoong, came by and winked at you before whispering something in Yunho’s ear 

Hongjoong left as Yunho got up from his seat 

“sorry, princess, I got some business to attend..” he looks down at his Rolex and back at you, “but if you’re still here after half an hour... I’ll make sure you have a good time, Aurora...”

even if it wasn’t your name, you loved the way it rolled off of his tongue 

not even 5 minutes went by when you were accompanied by another guy and you knew he looked so familiar

“what’s a lovely girl like you doing by herself at the bars? the bars is more dangerous than the dance floor you know?” 

it was Han from KidZ

you pretended to adjust yourself to look prettier for him, “well.. I feel safer now that you’re here...”

you hoped that he took your innocent act as a way to get him to remember you, “that’s risky bet you’re taking, sweetheart..” 

Han puts his hand on your thigh that was the closest to him, “can I get you another drink?”

you pretended like you were reluctant to answer his question 

“hmm I don’t think it’s completely right to get a drink from someone I don’t know?” 

he chuckles, “I’m Jisung.. and you are, darlin’?”

you didn’t know he was going to use his real name, Han was his street name 

but of course, you had to pretended that you didn’t have that prior knowledge and answered his question, “Aurora..”

you kind of liked this attention but knowing that it was from mafia members made you feel conflicted 

but the job was the job 

before Jisung could bring your drink to you, someone tipped the drink up so that it would spill onto him 

you both looked over to the person who tipped the drink was Yunho

“and I ohp... my bad, Jisung.. it’s been a while.. I see we always have the same type..” Yunho pulls you out of your seat and moves his attention away from Jisung and onto you

“did I spill anything on you, sweetheart?” the dark tone of his voice was drowned out by a sweet one 

you weren’t able to even answer when you saw Jisung pour the rest of the drink onto Yunho’s head

then Jisung brings you to his side, “sadly we do have the same type..”

Yunho chuckles as he pushes his hair back; exposing his forehead, which was quite a look 

“what’s your sorry short ass going to do about it? headbutt me in the stomach?” 

Jisung reaches for something and you suspected it was a gun

with everyone in the club, you couldn’t have that happen

“if I’m the problem, I’ll leave...” you were ready to drop the job if it was to save people’s lives 

they both looked at you and smirk at each other

“babygirl you’re worth fighting over..” Yunho grazes his fingers down your face then held his hand in the area between your jawline and neck 

Jisung pulls you away from Yunho’s touch 

“if you’ll excuse me, you Jack-the-Beanstalk Giant, I’ll take the lady elsewhere..”

Yunho pushes Jisung’s head away, “try me, headass baby squirrel”

“my pleasure.. fuckin’ stringbean”

there was nothing you could do but hope that they weren’t going to cause mass terror and destruction 

but hey, looks like you got yourself right where the job needed you to be, right in between the two most infamous mafia gangs in the country 

boy do you love your job

to be continued 

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

#ateez #ateez yunho #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez fluff #ateez mafia au #ateez jeong yunho #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez oneshot #ateez drabbles #ateez dark hours #ateez scenarios #ateez series #ateez spice #stray kids #skz #stray kids reactions #skz reactions #stray kids jisung #stray kids jisung scenarios #stray kids han jisung #stray kids han #stray kids han scenarios #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshot #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #skz jisung

[duchessofostergotlands]

Hi, jess! Since we’re talking about reality tv, I’d really like to know your opinion on sth that’s been the hot topic in my country these last couple of months. What do you think about people with mental disorders participating in reality shows? I’m currently watching a (now popular - because of the pandemic) reality show called “a fazenda” (the farm). It’s a bit like big brother, but with somewhat famous people (a couple of big celebrities + lots of b-c listers) having to deal with farm duties, like taking care of cows, chickens, etc. It’s wonderful, kinda trashy and I love it! The network that streams the show is very shady (it supported bolsonaro) and it clearly doesn’t know or care about how to approach delicate subjects. Here’s the thing: one of the participants has borderline - the show hasn’t disclosed this info, the audience found out by googling her after she had her first major fight on the show (she has a highlight on her ig in which she talks about being borderline). The discussion we’re having: is the network exploiting her by using her mental disorder as entertainment? Should they release an official statement about it to avoid public misconceptions about her? The participants who aren’t her friends have said incredibly prejudiced things about her, suggesting she likes being “crazy”, “retarded” and “not normal” because this supposedly “helps her get extra tv time” - this is infuriating because she’s clearly in pain when they provoke her. These horribly ignorant people even found out how to triger her and are actively using this to try to make her physically attack them, which would lead to her being expelled. From what the audience can gather from short clips now and there, she’s taking her meds as usual and is being assisted by a psychologist (at least!). Personally I don’t think there’s a problem with having a person with a mental disorder on a reality show, because she has the right to participate and shouldn’t be discriminated because of it - but as long as the show doesn’t exploit her and approach the subject responsibly. The silver lining is that I’m seeing LOTS of people supporting her on social media and completely disagreeing with the other participants’ behavior - her public approval is much bigger than theirs; the admin who’s taking care of her social media during this period has been posting about the subject and invited a psychologist to talk about it and answer a q&a sent by followers. Anyway sorry for the huge text! I really value your opinion and would love to know your insights

Hey :) Well thank you for asking for my opinion, that’s always sweet! We had The Farm here ages ago, I never watched it but I remember it making tabloid headlines because one of the celebrity contestants “stimulated” a pig. 

Well firstly I don’t think a mental illness should disqualify anyone right off the bat. Different conditions will have different challenges, different people with the same diagnosis will present differently, and different reality shows will bring out different challenges - like it would be different to be on something like Bake Off which is generally supportive and you can go home and be with your family in between challenges versus Love Island which is a show here largely based on attractive people getting off with each other so there’s a lot of tabloid attention, a lot of pressure to look a certain way and they’re all cooped up with no contact with the outside world for weeks and often plied with alcohol. There’s also a difference between having a diagnosis and actually still displaying symptoms at a clinical level. Lots of people with BPD like me show less symptoms as they get older until they’re sub clinical but they may still be branded with the diagnosis by others or feel they want to keep it themselves. And even someone like me who very much still deals with their condition on an active basis, I still have legal competence to make my own decisions and it’s infantilising to suggest a diagnosis of a mental illness automatically disqualifies you. So as much as possible it needs to be an individualised process to decide and the reality show needs to be honest about what it will entail. I don’t know about over there but we have psychiatric evaluations for our reality shows. I don’t know how good these are but if they are robust and informed by people with the specific conditions then I think these can be a good way of deciding if someone can actually handle the specific challenges of that show. One evaluation is not going to work for everyone, it needs to be someone with specific expertise in that condition. 

If someone with a mental illness is accepted on the show then something that’s missed out a lot in the UK and probably elsewhere is the care during and after the show. Firstly they should have a specialist on hand who can identify when the contestant is having a more difficult time and if it’s necessary to have private, off camera check ins with them about their mental health. And for BPD and other severe conditions like schizophrenia or bipolar these people can’t just be psychologists. Being a psychologist doesn’t mean you have the knowledge to deal with the specific condition. There have been some suicides of reality show contestants over the last few years here and a lot of blame has been pointed at the producers and studios for not supporting people when they leave the show and are suddenly famous. There should be a clear care plan that is specific to their needs and the producers and studios need to commit to ensuring that the level of care provided is fit for purpose. Sending an email with the name of a psychologist with general expertise is not enough. Some people may require regular sessions with people with specific qualifications and they need to be willing to commit to that for the safety of their participants.

I also think when it comes to the point around disclosure, nothing should ever be confirmed without the person’s explicit consent and them being able to approve any wording about it. Even if they’ve talked about it openly prior to going on the show, it would be exploitative to me to release a statement about a contestant’s specific health issues without first checking with them. If they do feel that the way things are being portrayed could negatively impact her long term health then I think they have a duty to raise it with her even if the show is ongoing and decide if she would be happy for it to be shared. If it is, I think the tv channel or whoever is releasing the statement should accompany it with links to support services and helplines and should invest time in promoting resources which explain BPD - or the condition the person has - and humanises people so that the bigoted views being spouted on the show are not able to go unchallenged. I’m really glad to hear the person managing her social media is using the opportunity to share info and that people are responding well to it. If the show does ever acknowledge it then I think they would have a responsibility to participate in those efforts, it shouldn’t be down to her team alone.

#ask #15billionyears #non royal #reality tv #mental health #mental illness

[letteredlettered]

Do you have any tips for coping with people making problematic comments on things you have written? I'm currently writing a fic that explores communication problems & societal gender narratives. In this context, the main (cis/het) couple have a nasty fight & there is clear fault on both sides. I've had several people attack the female character in the comment section, saying that she is a complete bitch/piece of shit & her husband should leave her - I'm finding it quite upsetting.

First of all, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s painful to receive comments that aren’t thoughtful about your work or you and that are hateful toward a character that you love and in some way is a part of you.

I do think sometimes people don’t mean to be hateful with comments like this. They’re trying to show that they’re invested. Also, sometimes people read fanfic to reinforce feelings they already have about canon, and they’re not really interested in fics that deviate. Sometimes people don’t even seem to notice that it deviates, which took me a long time to understand. Apparently, so many people are used to reading fics in which Draco Malfoy is a pure flower and Harry Potter is a jerk that they assume that’s the fic I’m writing, when as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I was pretty sure we were all starting on the premise that Draco Malfoy was a bigoted bully who was a party to genocide and Harry Potter is a brave and generous savior.

Knowing that people aren’t really understanding my story or considering what it’s actually trying to say--that they’re just kind of repeating the shipper or fanon or headcanon feelings they want all fics to have--isn’t actually comforting. After all, they’re not thinking about my story. But at the same time, it is somewhat comforting to me to realize that my story probably doesn’t suggest that Draco Malfoy is a pure flower, that they’re bringing that from somewhere else, and that even though they’ve decided to ignore nuance in my story, that doesn’t change what my story is.

So, honestly, my response to these kind of comments is usually to just ignore them. But there are other options:

1) Delete. There is absolutely nothing wrong with deleting a comment.

2) Reply. I got a comment not too long ago that to me was the complete opposite of what I was trying to write about. I have to say it horrified me. My reply went something like, “I’m so glad you’re enjoying this story, and thanks for your comment. I must say I’m very sorry this is the impression you received, as I was trying to convey the exact opposite. As someone who deeply cares about [X], its makes me sad that you believe this story [bashes X]. However, I also deeply believe that readers should feel free to have their own interpretations, and in that sense, what you get from the story is just as valid as what I intended. Thank you again for reading.” The commenter clarified that they didn’t exactly hate X and had meant something a little different, which was a little comforting (as I gotta say, the initial comment was SHOCKING to me), though I’m honestly still disturbed about it.

My reply was very polite (I hope), but it’s also okay to just tell someone how you feel--that you’re frustrated/hurt/upset by their comment. It really depends on whether saying that will make you feel better, and whether you’re willing to deal with that person getting angry or there being a confrontation in your comments. Confrontations are okay. Expressing yourself is good. But if it makes you anxious or upset, it’s also okay to avoid it in this instance. The stakes for honesty are low here--the only thing to be gained by it is making yourself feel better, so if just unloading frustration or rage would make you feel better, eh--go ahead. If it won’t, don’t. (If it’s someone you know and must deal with repeatedly, the stakes for honesty are much higher.)

3) Ignore, but formulate a reply. Sometimes the point of expressing all your feelings isn’t for the sake of honesty--it isn’t so the other person now knows The Truth. Sometimes expressing yourself is important so you can understand how you feel, face it, let yourself feel it, and move through those emotions. Sometimes I find it comforting to just let all my feelings out in a reply without posting the reply. When I express my anger and frustration in a reply, I often feel better by the time I finish the reply. I feel no need to release that anger and frustration onto someone else, because I’ve already released it within myself. Then I just erase my reply and basically forget about the comment.

4) Ignore, but talk to trusted friends. Sometimes a comment is so frustrating or upsetting that I feel kind of at a loss. By sharing the comment with people I know and trust, I can a) once again, express my feelings and allow myself to deal with them, b) receive the comfort and reassurance of my friends, who are going to say nice things about me and my story regardless, c) avoid confrontation and upset with a stranger whose opinion I don’t particularly care about either way.

What I would advise against when it comes to this is mentioning the comment to people you don’t know/trust, which includes semi-public spaces like tumblr/twitter/discord/instagram/etc. This, to me, is the absolute wrong thing to do and can be very ugly and unkind. Sure, you get to express yourself and receive the support of your friends, but there’s always the possibility that people will go troll that commenter or make life difficult for them.

The exception, I would say, is if the offensive comment is offensive in a way that deserves public attention. I personally believe that it can be fine to call public attention to things like racist and misogynist slurs or comments inciting violence towards real people etc. In those cases, I believe that social condemnation can actually be useful, though personally I still believe some care should be taken in how one approaches such a situation.

Anyway, this was a long response, but I’m sorry again you’re dealing with this, and good luck on your story! It sounds like a good fic.

#comments #fic #not-so-naughty-nel