thanatophobia-thoughts

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

I feel terrible and invalid.

I’m catholic and believe in Heaven- but what if? I was never strong in my faith. I do believe, but I just can’t stop my anxiety.

I know you’re an atheist- I just wish that someone would tell me I’m not crazy for being scared.

You're not crazy at all.

I mean, the good/bad news if you're wrong: there's no hell. You won't face punishment for a lack of faith. You'll just cease to be, which...sucks, but arguably that's better than hell.

If you want to retain your faith, I think the main thing to remember about faith is that it just...is? Faith is belief even in uncertainty. You can't be brave, if you aren't afraid. You can't believe if you're certain.

So it's okay to struggle. I mean, we struggle with things we know, like math, the certainty of death, so it's completely understandable why you'd struggle with something that's, well, not considered proven in a scientifically valid way. Struggling with something like that? I'm sure God will understand. Maybe you're just looking at some extra time in purgatory, if you believe in that.

#thanatophobia asks #thanatophobia answers

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

How do I cope with the fact that everyone I love and care for will die before me?

Well, one way to cope is to make younger friends. Have people who you are unlikely to outlive. Love them, cherish them, and they may be with you at the last.

The other way is to consider the mixed "blessing" it is, to know YOU have the opportunity to be with them at the last, to make sure you can share final words of love with them, hold their hand, play their favorite music, and cherish them. You have the honor of being with them. It is a hard, terrible honor. Having been through it a few times, I know the difficulty.

But it is an honor. And it is one I'd go through, again and again, and one I will go through, again and again, for my loved ones.

If I am the last to go, if I see my younger brother off before myself, if I somehow see my own nephew off before I go, I will cherish the fact I could be there, to make their passing less terrifying, more comforting.

It is a comfort in itself to provide comfort. I hope you can find a measure of comfort in knowing this, and it will help you cope with this future.

#thanatophobia asks #thanatophobia answers #anon ask

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Barbie, one of the few movies directly about Death Anxiety and Thanatophobia.

That was not a sentence I expected to write, but here we are.

If you haven’t already seen Barbie, I highly recommend it. It is a story about Existing, and what it means to Exist.

Barbie is an Idea. In this way, Barbie is strangely immortal, but she begins to have thoughts about Death, Mortality, and what Life Means. Her journey throughout the movie is to find out who she Is.

She wants to be Stereotypical Barbie. Pretty, blonde, partying every night, empowering women, and living her best pink life, day after day. She says it in the movie: she never wanted change.

But change happens.

Even for ideas.

We can see this just by looking at the way we’ve taken and reframed Grimm Fairytales, Ancient Greek Myths – hell, even the way we try to reframe and reinvent superheroes! Change is our only true constant, and so, change came from the Idea of Barbie.

At the end of the movie, Barbie is given a choice: stay an Idea Without End – or become Human.

This is a story that, perhaps, doesn’t celebrate death…but it certainly accepts it in an indirect fashion, because not only does Barbie pick to be human, she also makes one of her first actions as a human be a gynecological appointment.

I admit, I laughed my ass off at the ending line, because it was perfectly unexpected. Now that I’ve had time to sit with it, it’s also perfectly poignant.

Barbie’s first act is accepting her mortality and her change, by going to make sure she is healthy, by taking the steps to deal with the reality that she is now Mortal, and that means having parts of her that can get diseased.

Barbie’s first positive human interaction in this movie, is also notable. She has a lot of interactions with men who look at her lecherously, or when she tries to steal, but the first notable good one, is with an aged woman, that she calls beautiful – and the woman acknowledges it. It’s not a humbling compliment to a woman who’s forgotten her worth – it’s an uplifting one to a woman who knows it and can embrace it.

Yet again, Barbie flips expectations. We don’t expect this woman to know she’s beautiful, because our society doesn’t call old people beautiful. But there’s not a SINGLE hesitation from this woman in accepting it.

Barbie does many things right in opening a conversation about Life, about Death, about Aging, and about Making A Purpose.

Barbie doesn’t know what her purpose is, or what she’s going to do with her mortality, but she knows, she wants to live. She knows, she wants to have the opportunity to create, to change – and that is what humanity is. We all live a life where we can create things and make meaning. We are inventors, whether we just invent feelings in other people for a short period of time with our arts, invent smiles on the faces of our friends, invent airplanes for travel, or invent pet-steps up onto our beds because the ones in the store just weren’t working for our pet’s gait.

And then we age.

And we die.

Nothing in the movie sugarcoats this, and it expresses death as a Fear. It doesn’t say death is desirable at any point, but it does say it has to be accepted in order to experience and enjoy life. Just as aging, if we are lucky, is experienced, and is a whole other realm of beauty and experience.

Barbie was not the movie I expected it to be, and I love it for that. I love how the longer I sit with the experience, the more I find that comforts me in the message it offers, as a movie about struggling with existence and meaning.

Yes, it genders this message – but it’s not a movie that is Pro-Women, Down With Men.

Ken’s struggles are highlighted, and the mistakes he makes trying to deal with those struggles, too. Ken learns, like Barbie learns, that he has to find out who he is, and who he wants to be, apart from Barbie. He struggles with the expectations of men, the way Barbie struggles with the expectations of women, and both of them come out ready to learn who they really are.

It’s a wonderful movie.

#death anxiety #death anxiety talk #thanatophobia #barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #film recommendations #movie recommendation

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

#a random meme #yes I'm alive #health anxiety #anxiety #anxiety meme #health anxiety meme

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

im usually the kind of person who, if i think about death at all, start the beginning of an anxiety attack, but reading some of your posts has genuinely helped. ive had an intense fear of dying since i was little (im 21 now), but ive also been too afraid to live my life. its pretty hard to try, im a heavy people pleaser and get paralyzed by fear frequently. but seeing someone who understands it and is coping really is a comfort. thank you, for being braver than i am.

You're welcome, Anon.

I do hope you can find strength to live your life in the future, but I know it's a challenge to overcome the fear. I'm glad I've gotten so much better, but it doesn't ever truly go away.

It's like that old saying - you can't be brave unless you're afraid. If you're not afraid, you're not doing anything brave. One day, you'll find little ways to be brave, too. The fear will be there, but you will push through it <3

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Hello everyone!

This is a brief announcement that I am not going to be setting up reblogs every day any longer. I thought by now I would have written some new things to add, and I do have a list – but other writing projects have taken over that.

Which, isn’t a bad thing for me, but for all of you, it is.

Also the amount of time searching back through old posts for things to reblog is taking, is starting to feel like a chore.

I will still be around, and hopefully with the freedom to come here at my leisure, you’ll all start to see new things in the future, but I’m not going to hold myself to a schedule for this blog anymore.

If you need help, have questions, or anything else – feel free to hit my inbox.

I love you all, and I wish you all a life full of wonderful experiences <3 .  

#announcement #update #i love you all

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces.

Rumi

#rumi #wholesome sunday #love #love quotes

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#iris apfel #aging positivity #growing up #growing old #wholesome sunday

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#wholesome sunday #good news network #andy corbley #joe geddia #plastic cleanup #pollution cleanup #ocean #ocean news #the ocean cleanup

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#wholesome meme #wholesome sunday #you are worthy #you are enough

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#golden hour #jvke #this one has been a vibe lately #wholesome sunday #wholesome music

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Credit

#wholesome sunday #flowers #orange flowers #yellow flowers #white flowers #spring

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

👍 Humour du jour 😁

Petit partage entre amis ! 🍜

Bel après-midi 👋

#wholesome sunday #cute animals #animal friends

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Roads go ever ever on, Over rock and under tree, By caves where never sun has shone, By streams that never find the sea; Over snow by winter sown, And through the merry flowers of June, Over grass and over stone, And under mountains in the moon. Roads go ever ever on Under cloud and under star, Yet feet that wandering have gone Turn at last to home afar. Eyes that fire and sword have seen And horror in the halls of stone Look at last on meadows green And trees and hills they long have known. Roads go ever on and on Out from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, Let others follow it who can! Let them a journey new begin, But I at last with weary feet Will turn towards the lighted inn, My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

J.R.R. Tolkien

There is much we will miss about life, much we could have seen, but eventually, every journey ends. 

(via thanatophobia-thoughts)

#reblog #j.r.r. tolkien #tolkien #roads go ever on #life quotes #journey quotes #adventure quotes

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Let’s talk a bit about Near Death Experiences, and how they may be good even without seeing loved ones, Heaven, or having a “religious” experience – and if that’s even possible.

A Near Death Experience is what it says – an experience that occurs when you are near death. Many people who do experience them, see a bright light, loved ones who have passed on, heaven, or even the surrounding environment of their body (some have reported knowing what was going on during life-saving surgery). Personally I don’t know how to explain that last one, but the others I imagine are mostly due to our brains, well, dreaming as it shuts off.

I’ve posted articles about this before, notably one from Scientific American, and that we still don’t fully understand why our brains may interpret dying into a positive experience for us – though recognized not just in near death experiences, but in people who enjoy sexual choking, for example.

Take a look at this:

The Near Death Experience this person had, was Stargate-based.

I’ve always assumed Near Death Experiences would take information in our minds already, and amplify it. It would tap into our beliefs, memories, and information, to give us a positive end. I can only hope for a Star Wars NDE.

You can also see how an atheist experiences NDEs here:

They have the same experience of peace and love, but without the angelic beings or anything else. It’s still a wholly peaceful passing.

While I don’t want to die, and don’t enjoy the thought of no afterlife that these divergent NDEs suggest, I do appreciate the fact that at the end, my body may try to send me off in a positive way, with love, warmth, no pain, and some pleasant last sights. It’s the one good thing I can say for Near Death Experiences.

#reblog #nde #near death experience #atheist #atheism #death anxiety #death anxiety talk #thanatophobia #nour foundation #atheist experience

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

#reblog #anxiety meme

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

It’s me, back with another thing that may or may not help: Showering and/or bathing! Which is also a bit of a discussion on Smell.

I know this sounds weird, this activity is usually something that is low thought. The mix of sensations from the temperature of the water, to the scents of the soaps, and even the texture and sights of the soaps, I’ve found can make it a space where the thoughts don’t intrude as much, at least for me.

I am a self-admitted soap whore, though. I love soaps. I have an addiction to Lush and Posh. The shapes of their soaps, the smells of their soaps, the things for my hair – it all relaxes me immensely.

If it does the same for you, this may be something you could do to just help in the moment, or even longer if the effect lasts. I usually take my showers in the evening because it helps me to settle down a bit from the day and is one of my mental “cues” that I should be winding down (which is part of a routine – I’m sure I’ll get into that at another time).

It also latches on to how sensations can make you more present.

Smells can bring you into the moment, and if you don’t have good food cooking, you may as well use good soaps, or shampoo! It works in the same way as cooking food does – it brings you into the moment. It may not make you salivate, but nonetheless, you are very aware of the scent and what is around you, and not so much what is going on elsewhere.

Add that in with the texture of the soap, the feeling of the water, and you have a multiple-sensory experience to help you stay rooted to the present moment and not go too far beyond it, even if the activity itself is low thought.

I wish I could say the same for activities like dish-washing, but that doesn’t seem to work for me. However, maybe the same principal will apply to you!

In general, though, smells have a way of either rooting us in the present, or taking us back to a memory. In either case, it could help you get out of the darker thoughts of impending death. If it helps, buy some candles of scents you know many draw up familiar memories (they have scents for campfires now, so you don’t need something like potpourri. Even fruit loop candles!). If you’re concerned about the fire hazard, buy a warmer and set the candle on that. It’s what I do, and it still works out wonderfully!

You can also use an oil warmer and oil, which may get the scents out more quickly, though I’ve found they don’t last as long. That may be more effective if you need a “quick fix”, though.

Use what tools you have available to you. Hopefully I am adding to your arsenal for dealing with this, or at least, giving you some ideas!

#reblog #thanatophobia #death anxiety help #death anxiety #showering #bathing #smell #sensation focus #scent focus #sensations