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#elephants #we're wrong about intelligent life

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I'm very tired of hips slotting

I'm very tired of the bolt of his jaw

and I am so so so so tired of hips canting. Thighs canting. A's hips cant up to take B's cock and I CAN'T

#why am i such a hater #porn

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@mydaroga

If this post gets 150 notes I’ll make a DS9 anime opening.

#deep space nine #ds9 #neon genesis evangelion #together at last

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#xena #gabrielle #xena/gabrielle

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getting back to my roots of making stupid memes 🥰

#tgcf #hua cheng #brooklyn 99 #gina linetti

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give us the password to Hua Cheng's private communications array, you cowards

#tgcf #hua cheng #who am i talking to #fic authors probably

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I get that Feng Xin/Mu Qing is a big ship and all but frankly the only way I'm into it is if it happens because they both want to fuck Xie Lian so badly they have hate-sex about it. Where's the fic

#fengqing #feng xin #mu qing #xie lian #xianle trio #tgcf

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xianle trio,,,,,,i love them dearly,,,,

#mu qing #xie lian #feng xin #xianle trio #TRAGEDY #you know what's crazy is just how low they go and yet manage to end kind of happy #i never thought they could get there #meanwhile i totally thought wwx and jc could make up #it's wild

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Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.

Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.

Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.

But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.

Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).

Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.

Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.

#hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #i love that hc has a 3000 step plan #very good #tgcf

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what's with pointy-eared Hua Cheng is there something I missed

#tgcf #hua cheng #fanart

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reblogging for visibility.

Episode 4 just aired. Another thing I love about this podcast is that different episodes pick up different threads to this story, whether it's the compassion, the horror, the romance. Episode 4 has a lot to do with the phantom as an artist, but it's also about the zeigeist of the 70s and definitely worth a listen.

podcast rec

My BFF has made a podcast!!!! It's amazing and probably sometime I'd want to make if I was making a podcast. I'm not just advertising it because my friend made it but because it's a very cool project.

The podcast is called Re:Adapted. Each season is about a canon that has been adapted in many ways (mostly into film, but also stage and beyond). One thing that's cool about the podcast is that you don't have to know the canon to listen to the season; she provides pretty good summaries of the original and the adaptations. The other thing that's cool is it's not really about what plot or characters got changed from iteration to iteration so much a it is about how adaptation evolves as we as a society evolve, and what a new adaptation says about the time in which it's made. She looks at cultural context and film technologies and how the themes of a story change as the people who consume that story change.

The first season is about Phantom of the Opera. You can find it here!

#podcast

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@yellowwallsbluesky asked about new Untamed end!

ahhhhh here is 27,745 words of wangxian that will never see the light of day. Thank you for asking!

I mentioned in my post about lwjwwx2 that I had a really hard time writing CQL fic partly because I just could not imagine WWX having any sex or even being particularly romantic. In CQL, he strikes me as very in love, but not in a romantic or sexual way. The problem was a little bigger than that, though, because I also could not imagine LWJ having sex. To be clear, I thought of LWJ as extremely romantic and sexual. But while LWJ's desire comes across as extremely intense, he's so hellbent on doing whatever WWX wants and whatever would make WWX comfortable, never pushing a single thing on WWX at all. In the second half of the show LWJ strikes me as extremely passive unless WWX needs him; he lets WWX get away with everything and expresses himself so little and so poorly that I just didn't see how these kids could get it together! That was 2020 - summer 2023. Then I was on the couch and thinking about them and could suddenly imagine it happening! So I started writing.

If this was a real fic I assume it would make some people extremely impatient. It takes place directly after CQL, and neither of them have any idea what they want from each other or what they can be to each other. I've seen plenty of people say it's unrealistic for them not to understand each other by then. But for me personally it makes sense that you could love someone with your whole heart and never once consider sex or romance, so to me CQL does not come across as romance but rather the prequel to one that is not necessary consummated (even with kisses) in the next scene after the end.

The premise is that after the end of CQL they go back to Cloud Recesses. LWJ knows that WWX arouses him and that he wants to be as close as humanly possible, but this doesn't really correlate in his mind to wanting to have sex and get married. He doesn't even think about sex. He just wants, all the time, a undefined longing that feels desperate and unstable to him. Meanwhile he's determined to do anything in his power to make WWX feel safe and comfortable and welcome.

It's not really a characterization of LWJ that makes sense to me now. I think I just needed to get it down to deal with idk, the way the censorship makes CQL so weird. I think the way I would read CQL!LWJ now is that he knows he wants WWX romantically and sexually but has difficulty communicating it with words and also does not want to impose, because people have asked so much of WWX and WWX is so willing to sacrifice himself for people he loves, and LWJ does not want WWX sacrificed. The reason this WIP is labelled "new" is that I went back and started changing the LWJ characterization so he was someone who knew what he was doing.

Meanwhile, the WWX is actually more knowing than I see him now. He comes back to Cloud Recesses with LWJ and feels restless and confused about his place there. He doesn't feel like he has a real role and even if LWJ really likes him, he doesn't understand what he could be here. But then LWJ just keeps giving and giving and giving, and WWX becomes very aware of what it looks like, from the outside. WWX has never been concerned about reputation for himself, but he is aware that reputation is a thing, and he cares about it for LWJ, so he notices. And when he notices that other people think they're a couple, he also realizes that it's what LWJ wants too. And WWX's reasoning is basically "well, why not? I'd give him anything; if he wants it, he can take it."

So he pushes and pushes on the boundary of friendship. It's obvious he's not doing it because he wants it because he thinks LWJ does. But it's also obvious he's not against it and that he doesn't know what he wants and that he would rather be something for LWJ than nothing at all. The idea was going to be that after they finally have sex, WWX grows addicted to the cuddling and intimacy that occurs afterwards and wants it all the time--because he doesn't really want it otherwise. He struggles to accept that kind of intimacy unless there's an act of service involved, because he doesn't really feel worth of it.

I actually think that this was the breakthrough for me. Once I realized that WWX would very much like to be held but doesn't really know how to let it happen unless there's a good reason for it, I finally felt like I could write him and write the whole wangxian dynamic. Of course, my WWX changed too; I am definitely more likely to write him now as not having a clue about what LWJ wants from him. That said, I read this fic, and I still buy that WWX could see that LWJ wants this from him and that his response is "sure, I'll do anything," even if he doesn't necessarily feel strong sexual attraction. That WWX gets off on service, which is still something I can buy.

Anyway I only got 25% of the way through shifting the LWJ characterization when I started writing Say More, and I realized I never really had a goal or end for this fic. It was just something I needed to write to get to know the characters--though I will say, I reread it to write this post, and I still really enjoy it!

#wangxian #wips #my fics

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Something about the whole "Eming is born of Hua Cheng's desire to live and Rouye is born of Xie Lian's desire to die," and then how Xie Lian wears funeral colours and Hua Cheng wears wedding colours. God oriented towards death and stillness and self-denial. Ghost oriented towards life and hope and happiness.

#tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian

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I've said I wished TGCF dealt with Hua Cheng's self-loathing more and dealt with his conflicts about how worthy he is of his god, and I still wish that. But just to be clear--no matter how unworthy Hua Cheng finds himself, the whole point is, it doesn't really matter to him. He can believe he is unfit to worship such a glorious and good god, he can believe he is the most unfit person on the planet, he can believe that he shouldn't get to worship such a god, he can believe that he doesn't deserve to live for him--and Hua Cheng would still just not give a fuck about it.

His whole thing is that it doesn't matter what he is or who he is as long as there is his god, in the world, as happy and healthy and safe as possible.

And what I love about that is that Hua Cheng can reach the very bottom of the barrel; he can hate himself to infinity and beyond; he can be the very lowest of the low and he is never, ever, ever, ever going to wish he did not exist. He's not ever going to say a thing like "I'm not good enough to go on." He's not ever going to hurt himself in a way that hinders himself, he's not ever going punish himself in ways that hobble himself, he'll never want to die. He's never going to get in his own way, because his way is more important than himself. His reason for living is more important than whether he wants to live.

What I'm saying is that Hua Cheng can hate himself but he doesn't ever doubt himself, and that's really interesting when you think about it.

#self-harm #suicidal ideation #hua cheng #tgcf #hualian #xie lian

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to be clear, Luo Binghe also would've fucked Shen Qingqiu statues and Hua Cheng would similarly only treat Xie Lian's corpse with utmost respect. Though obviously if Xie Lian died Hua Cheng would cease to exist

What’s the consensus on what Hua Cheng did with the statues?

It may be controversial, but I suspect it was hornier than whatever Luo Binghe was doing with Shen Qingqiu’s corpse…dressing it every morning, making it breakfast, and sobbing.

Like, I don’t think Hua Cheng actually did anything untoward with the statues, but he probably had thoughts about maybe, just maybe, kissing a hand, or a cheek, or — Anyway, he would feel very guilty about having such thoughts and atone for a long time...until the thoughts inevitably sprung up again, leading to more atonement. Basically, just an endless cycle of horny atonement.

#hua cheng #luo binghe #tgcf #svsss

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I could only find ONE fic about it on AO3. Fandom has never disappointed me so hard. I thought there was gonna be a full on tag

What’s the consensus on what Hua Cheng did with the statues?

It may be controversial, but I suspect it was hornier than whatever Luo Binghe was doing with Shen Qingqiu’s corpse…dressing it every morning, making it breakfast, and sobbing.

Like, I don’t think Hua Cheng actually did anything untoward with the statues, but he probably had thoughts about maybe, just maybe, kissing a hand, or a cheek, or — Anyway, he would feel very guilty about having such thoughts and atone for a long time...until the thoughts inevitably sprung up again, leading to more atonement. Basically, just an endless cycle of horny atonement.

#hua cheng #fandom #ao3