#the idea of harming myself is both pleasing yet makes me want to cry

[borahaerhy]

Dealer (2) - myg

Summary: Your boyfriend seemed like a dream come true: always wanting to be around you, making sure you would get home safe, never taking his hands off you. These little comforts became your whole world, and then the only thing you were allowed to have left in the world. Luckily, your boyfriends drug dealer turned out to be a much nicer guy.

Pairing: DrugDealer!Yoongi x Female!Reader

Genre: Mafia/drug kingpin au, Y/N coming from nothing, found family, Eventual smut

Warnings: The thoughts, feelings, and actions of someone with recent trauma, guns (go figure), unaliving, graphics descriptions of blood/a dead body, an absolute unit of a felony in the form of a literal warehouse full of weed, Taehyung has a split personality but it's not that apparent yet.

Word count: 2.8k

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Note: If you are sensitive or triggered by abusive relationships or manipulation in any way, please do not read this fic, it can be very triggering. It will also be referenced that Y/n used to self harm, and has self-harm scars. This is fic is going to cover a lot of intense topics, and there will be a lot of drugs.

“What the fuck was that?” You yelled in a panic as you sat in the front seat of a random drug dealer’s BMW. Yoongi was driving at an alarming speed, trying to put as much distance between himself and the house as possible, not wanting to know what would happen if Zeke knew where he lived.  

“What, did you want me to leave you in the house where you had zero free will?” Yoongi kept checking his rearview mirrors and taking weird back alley’s you hadn’t even known existed. You were both yelling now, hearts racing as you both filled with anxiety.  

“He’s going to kill you, man, I was fine-” 

“If I would’ve left you there, he would’ve killed you.” You went dead silent, and as did the car as you couldn’t think of any response to that. “At least I know I can defend myself. You’ve been paralyzed by fear for so long you have no idea how to.”  

You slouched back into your seat and crossed your arms, your brow furrowed as you tried to think of any defense for yourself, but all you could come up with was Zeke wouldn't kill me, which you weren’t even sure you could say out loud without breaking down.  

You both stayed silent for the rest of the drive. He eventually came to a stop outside of what you presumed to be his home. You both got out of the car wordlessly and walked into the decently sized home, Yoongi pulling his phone out of his pocket as soon as he walked in the door.  

“Just uh, make yourself comfortable,” he gestured to the sofa in his shockingly nice and cohesive living room, his eyes never leaving his phone as you closed the door behind you quietly. “I have a few phone calls to make.”  

With that, he walked back the hall and into a room, closing the door loudly. You jumped slightly, holding your hand to your chest before you took a deep breath and sat down, crossing your legs and folding your hands in your lap. You remained silent and stared at your hands, not wanting to move or make a sound, still terrified of your current situation.  

Yoongi’s house was very different to the one’s you were used to living in. It was very clean and organized, the living room almost looked sterile if it weren’t for the plants and warn-in leather chair sat next to the seemingly untouched couch. Everything was in black, white and grey, the white carpeting not even so much as tinged yellow; everything was pristine.  

And it was quiet.  

Way more quiet than you had been comfortable with. You could hear the air conditioning kick on from the central unit, and the refrigerator hum from the other room, but that was it. You couldn’t hear Yoongi talking on the phone; nor did you hear a television or any music playing. No one was yelling, no one was crying. It was as if the house was in a reality completely different than you were used to. But it wasn’t. He barely lived 30 minutes away from where you had, and yet, it seemed like a completely different world.  

But because you had taken notice of the small mundane sounds that most wouldn’t pay any attention to, you noticed the sound of quiet footsteps. You had no idea where they were coming from, that’s how soft their sound was; you really couldn’t even tell if they were in the house or not.  

Then you heard the unmistakable clicking sound of a gun cocking, and you froze. Seconds later, a bullet came through the lock on the front door’s doorknob, and it was being kicked in. You dove behind the couch as the door previously slammed shut by Yoongi was slammed back open. The man standing face-to-face, or rather, gun-to-gun with Yoongi wasn’t someone you had recognized as being one of Zeke’s friends.  

Yoongi didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger of his gun, unloading the round into the man's forehead before he could even fully realize that Yoongi was there. He dropped, the gun falling from his hand as his body thudded and blood began to pour from him. The once pristine and stainless white carpet was no more as it soaked up the deep red of the blood being spilled onto it, spreading it around his head almost as if it were some fucked up halo.  

“Who the fuck was that?” You had been so entranced with the corpse that you didn’t notice Yoongi check the rest of his house before he crouched down beside you. You jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, and then again when you saw the gun still in his hand, pointed down into the floor.  

“I don’t know, I don’t recognize him,” you shook your head lightly, your voice low and emotionless as you looked back over at the body, eyebrows knit in confusion. “I’m sorry he ruined your pretty carpet,” Yoongi’s eyes followed your gaze and landed on the red halo surrounding him, growing bigger by the second. He sighed, looking around the room once again, thinking, before he shoved his gun into the waistband of his jeans and stood.  

“Alright, crazy. We gotta go, I’m sure Hoseok would want to see you anyway,” you nodded slowly and stood, shaking your head out of the trance you were in as you turned to follow him. He walked you into the garage and had you sit in a different car than the one he had picked you up in and told you to wait again while he cleaned up a little.  

He only took another 15 minutes before he was back, sitting in the driver's seat beside you. He pulled out of the driveway and started driving away at a much more normal speed than before.  

Another hour passed silently in the car, no music playing, neither of you speaking as you made your way to somewhere, the destination you weren’t quite sure on, but you didn’t want to ask questions to the man who just killed someone in front of you.  

You pulled up to what looked like an old, abandoned warehouse. You followed Yoongi out of the car and to a side door on the building that led down into a basement. You, very reluctantly, made your way down the steps behind him into a surprisingly well-lit basement.  

Once you got down there, however, it was no longer surprising as to why the lighting was good.

A basement that spanned what you could only assume was the size of the warehouse itself was completely filled, row after row, with pot plants. You stood in awe, mouth slightly hung ajar as you looked at what you could only assume to be 20-years-in-the-state-prison amounts of weed, as Yoongi took a few smaller steps forward into the maze.  

“Hoba? You down here?” Yoongi yelled as he slid his hands into his pockets, his steps coming to a halt as he realized walking in any direction will surely lead him the wrong way.  

“Over here, Hyung!” You could hear Hoseok’s usually chipper voice yelling from the distance. Yoongi looked back at you and nodded his head in the direction of Hoseok’s voice, beckoning you to follow him.  

Hoseok was all smiles when he saw Yoongi, excited to see if anything had happened with you, but his smile immediately fell when you came into view.  

“Hyung, what is she doing here?” Hoseok’s anxiety wasn’t agreeing with him as he knew nothing good could have come from you being here, with Yoongi, and without Zeke. A warm smile took over your face as you saw him, which managed to help calm his worries only slightly, a small and equally warm smile adorning his lips to greet yours.  

“You told me the guy was an asshole, I instead saw a psychopath,��� Yoongi shrugged as he took a seat at the large table up against the wall of the warehouse.  

“So you took her?” Hoseok’s voice was rushed and the volume was low as to try to avoid upsetting you. You pretended not to hear anything, not wanting to make the situation any more uncomfortable. You looked around, still completely in awe of the impressive garden going on down here. You took a few steps forward, walking through a few rows of plants, looking at each one carefully. You had always had a love for plants, but a complete inability to keep them alive, so seeing this many flourishing made you happy.  

You know, even if they were drugs.  

“Hello,” You turned abruptly at the soft voice from behind you, startled as you hadn’t heard anyone walk up to you. His bright smile only grew larger as you jumped, he raised his hands and chuckled at you lightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to spook you.”  

The undeniably gorgeous man lowered his hands and took a few more steps toward you. He wore what looked like an oversized Hawaiian shirt and a very baggy pair of khaki dress pants. His hair was dark and fluffy, nearly covering his squinted bloodshot eyes, and as you looked down, you realized the reason you couldn’t hear him walking.  

He was barefoot.  

“I’m Taehyung, you wanna come see my favorite plant?” The smile never seemed to leave his face as he cocked his head to the side, not at all caring who you were or why you were there; simply wanting to show you his favorite plant friend. You nodded slowly, a small smile creeping up to your face as you realized just how ridiculous this guy seemed. He softly grabbed your hand and led you toward the back of the building.  

He pulled you into a small room that looked to be what would have been an office, but was actually just a room with several haphazard rugs laying all over the floor with ten or so beanbag chairs scattered around the floor.  

He let go of your hand once you were in the room, and swiftly walked over to a small table in the corner, picked something up and turned around. In his hand was the smallest pot you’d ever seen, and in it was the smallest ball cactus.  

“Her name is Fluffy. Isn’t she just the coolest thing you’ve ever seen?”  

Let’s be honest here, if you’d ever seen this tiny cactus at a plant store, you’d probably think it was cute, but you wouldn’t give it a second though, really. But presented with it here, by a man who had been for some reason so excited to show it to you, it seemed to in fact be the coolest thing you’d ever seen.  

You smiled and took a few steps closer to him, looking at Fluffy with wide eyes and a kind smile as you nodded, excited about the existence of something so small and pure, covering itself with needles to defend itself from anyone from hurting her small and fragile interior. Taehyung handed you the plant before moving two of the beanbags to be next to each other, inviting you to sit in one as he plopped down in the other.  

You sat down facing him, your knees almost pressed to your chest at how deflated the chair was as you set the plant down in between the two of you, you both admiring it.  

“I’ve never been much of a plant person aside from my business, but when I went to go get some more fertilizer I just saw her sitting there on a shelf, looking all lonely, so I just had to get her.” Taehung was slouched back in his seat, legs spread wide but eyes still lovingly trained on the small plant he seemed so happy to have obtained. You simply smiled and nodded, being comfortable with the silence as you felt something rub against your side.  

You jumped away slightly, looking back to see a very small, white cat with light green eyes. She rubbed against you again, this time your arm, and crawled into your lap, forcing you to cross your legs so she could lay down comfortably. You had no problem petting the soft white fur as she purred madly, moving your hands to rub her cheeks the way she liked.  

“Oh yeah,” You looked up at Taehyung, who was now looking fondly at the cat that decorated your lap. “That’s Ms. Prickly. She's not very fond of Fluffy,” You smiled wider as you continued to pet the cat.  

The door opened abruptly, scaring Ms. Prickly from your lap as Yoongi and Hoseok burst through the door, faces full of worry.  

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Taehyung was not very good at reading the expressions of others, or maybe he just didn’t care to let the emotions of others dampen his good mood as he smiled brightly at the two previously worried, and now annoyed men. Obviously used to this kind of behavior, neither of the boys said anything in complaint, just simply closed the door and pulled up some bean bags of their own.  

“I see you’ve met Fluffy,” Hoseok smiles as he sits down next to you, pulling you into a tight hug which you gratefully accepted. “I’m glad you’re safe,” He whispered, rubbing your back soothingly before pulling away from the hug, his eyes warm and his smile reassuring.  

“Yeah, we’re just chilling. She also met Ms. Prickly.”  

Yoongi scoffed as he sat down on the other side of you, the four of you now forming a circle in the middle of this room, all surrounding the world's smallest cactus. The energy in the room grew very tense as you wished to keep your full attention on the small plant but knew you had more important things to worry about.  

“Y/n, do you know who Zeke’s family is?” Hoseok asked gently. You looked at him, bringing your knees back up to your chest before shaking your head.  

“I’ve met some of them, but only once or twice, and never really got to know anyone. He never really liked to talk about them, so I didn’t push it.” Hoseok hung his head, sighing as he ran his fingers through his hair before he brought his face back up to look at you.  

“When I used to hang out with him, he’d never shut up about them. Probably as his own fucked up way of proving he was someone. His uncle, and that whole part of the family are Hitmen. I always just kind of thought he was fucking around, trying to intimidate me, but considering what just happened-” 

“Who’s Zeke?” Taehyung was suddenly sitting upright, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Hoseok. 

“Zeke’s my boyfriend.” You pulled Taehyung’s attention away from Hoseok, and brought it to you. His eyes softened as he looked at you – really looked at you – for the first time. He looked back at Hoseok, and then at Yoongi, and back at you, and no further explanation was needed for him. He looked back at Hoseok and nodded, asking for him to continue.  

“So, now it looks like Yoongi has hitmen after him; but because he was able to take the first guy down so easily, we need to get you hidden-”  

“Why?” They all turned to look at you, eyes wide and shock ripping all the words from their throats. “If I just go back, he’ll leave you guys alone,”  

“Sweetie,” Hoseok’s eyes softened and his posture loosened as he reached a hand out to grab yours, but you flinched away from his touch.  

“Hoseok,” He looked over at Taehyung, “Sidebar?” Hoseok looked back at you apologetically before he and Taehyung stood and walked over to the corner of the room, Ms. Prickly weaving between Taehyungs legs as he walked.  

“Y/n,” You turned your attention to Yoongi, who had now turned himself to face you completely. “We’re not going to let you go back there, you understand that right?” You furrowed your brow again, thinking you’d already settled this matter.  

“Why not? They’re going to hurt you,” Your voice was dripping with concern, small and weak, cracking under the pressure of any more lives falling to your hands.  

“We know some people. We’ll be fine, but there’s no way I’m letting you go back there, and neither is Hoseok.”  

You didn’t know how to feel. You weren’t typically an anxious person, even when your were with Zeke it was manageable because you knew what to expect; but here? With these people and hitmen? You had no idea what to expect, but they were nice enough to try to help you. You couldn’t let them get hurt if all you had to do was go back.  

You looked over to the corner of the room Hoseok and Taehyung were in to see them both standing beside a large locker Taehyung was unlocking. After opening the cabinet, Taehyung started pulling out guns and money and started shoving them into duffle bags with the help of Hoseok.  

“C’mon, cupcake,” Taehyung smiled at you as he held his hand out for you to take to help you stand; but even after you stood, he didn’t let go. “We’re going to go see Jin Hyung.”  

Taglist: @pamzn @fvcuidk @cybm1n @limiworld @scuzmunkie @hyunjingin @nellyboosworld @moocow778 @zaeve @lovelgirl22 @rosquilleta @kooliv @bangtannie7 @strawberryjimin13 @anjoellamorte @limitlessdespondency

#yoongi #min yoongi #myg #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fic #yoongi angst #bts angst #suga #Yoongi angst #mafia!au #mafia!yoongi #Mafia!bts #jung hoseok #hoseok #bts fic #bts fanfic #Yoongi smut #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #female reader #kpop writing #kpop scenarios #bts scenraio #bts #kpop fanfic #bts fluff

[bafflement]

Deaged Oz AU. A different way to deal with Adam Taurus...

"Miss... Weiss? I need to have a private word with you, if that's alright?"

Weiss sighed. "It's just Weiss, Oz... stop calling me miss?"

"At least you know it's me?"

"Yes, but we'd know that anyway. You're a little boy, Oz and your voice sounds like it. What do you need?"

Oz blinked at that, before deciding to ignore the comment. "You stated that you hate your father, Weiss. How far, precisely, does that hatred extend?"

"I want nothing to do with him. Again, why?"

"Because there may be another way to get Mr Taurus away from Miss Belladonna. However, it requires sacrificing your father."

"You think my father's death would get him away from her?"

"Frankly, yes. He was treated abominably by the Schnee Dust Company, under your father's orders. How far do you think he would be willing to go for revenge?"

"I'm not sure I like the idea of using my father's death to buy currency with the Faunus... but then again..."

"If he is dead, he can no longer harm your mother, or your brother. Or you. The way he has treated all of you... was I currently still an adult I may have dealt with him anyway. I'm certain James would look the other way. Considering his attachment to your sister..."

"... he may even help... Oz, I can't say yes to you killing my father. But at the same time, I can't deny that it might be justifiable. I just... don't tell me until after the deed is done? I'm still a trainee huntress and you're still a huntsman."

"And hunters are sworn to end monsters. All monsters, not just the Grimm. I'm sorry, Weiss. I understand if you'll never talk to me again, besides it is merely one possibility amongst a few."

"You are my friend. Blake is my friend. My father may have sired me but he would sell Winter and I both in a heartbeat if it got him some sort of advantage. He locked me away. Oz? Please, leave me alone for awhile? I need to think."

"Of course. My apologies, Weiss." Oz bowed his head and left her to it, the others giving him strange looks on his return.

"What did you tell Weiss?" Yang asked, sounding curious and protective at the same time.

"Nothing you need concern yourself with yet, Miss Xiao Long."

"... Oz, you said you wouldn't keep any more secrets." She sounded vaguely ominous and Oz sighed.

"It isn't a secret. Merely an idea and likely a terrible one. I just worry for Miss Belladonna with the situation with Mr Taurus..."

"We all do."

"Yes, well... part of me hopes to run into him. We have things to discuss."

"... Oz, you're human. He won't want to talk to you."

"We'll see."

In the end, Adam ran into them. He seemed delighted to see Blake... for a given value of delighted, but rather less impressed when confronted by a silver haired ten year old.

"Ah. Mister Taurus, I was rather hoping I might run into you."

"That eager to die, child?" Adam sneered.

"Not exactly, but I believe we could come to a mutually beneficial agreement."

"I doubt it, but say I'm listening, kid. What sort of agreement."

"Myself and my friends work together to deliver Jaques Schnee to you on a silver platter and you let Blake live her own life and make her own choices." Oz's voice could have been carved out of solid stone.

"... I'm listening, kid..."

"I do not know what he did to you, sir. But he is a monster who preys on those weaker than him. Monsters on Remnant get put down."

"... I almost believe you, child. But you're human, why should I trust you to deliver on your end of this bargain."

"Simple. We deliver Jaques Schnee to you and you leave Blake alone. If we do not, you are free to try. I will fight you if I must, but his death at this point would be justifiable germicide."

Adam laughed, harshly. "I'm not scared of you, boy. But if you can do this, I suppose I will owe you enough of a debt to let Blake make her own choices. You ask what he did to me?" Adam raised his blindfold, showing the brand over one eye. Behind Oz, Weiss let out a cry of fury.

"Mister Taurus? If i can locate that brand, promise to use it on my father?"

Adam's eyes lit up, looking at Weiss with far less hostility than any of them had deemed possible.

"For that, little Miss Schnee? You have my respect. If you can do this and your friend can deliver your father... I will leave Blake alone. More, I'll try not to kill any of you. Fair?"

"Entirely." Oz stated, evenly.

"You never did introduce yourself, child... you look almost like she does but not at the same time. Who are you?"

"I believe you would know a previous version of me as Ozaryn."

Adam looked poleaxed.

"You... you're Ozaryn? Or you used to be? Why didn't you say that to start with... you helped found Faunus society..."

The others were staring at him, now, too.

"It was a last resort. As it stands, we deliver you Jaques Schnee and you leave Blake alone."

"Of course. You'll hear from me soon. Sir."

Adam left, back stiff and fists clenched.

"... Oz? Explain. Now."

"I'm not sure how to. Maybe ask Blake when we get back?" Oz demured.

"Uh HUH. Just how many mythical figures were you, anyway?"

"I... I'm not actually sure?" Oz blushed, ducking his head in mortification. "Some of them. not all."

"just those called Oz?" It was Jaune's turn to sigh. "Lets go back, pocket sized... you can explain later."

#deaged oz au #adam taurus #ozpin #weiss schnee #jaune arc #blake belladonna #mentioned #nora valkyrie #there but no lines #li ren #also not a speaking role #agreements #deal with the devil #how to deal with jaques schnee #this isnt going to be awkward later #even adam taurus knows oz is a schnee #or suspects #oz has a silver tongue #and helped found faunus society #rule of thumb #if a historical figures name starts oz #or os #it's likely him #that moment adam taurus calls oz sir

[demonichikikomori]

HUH im a nb lesbian.... i dont see any harm in headcanoning vil as someone who uses she/her pronouns esp bc like you said, he does so in the japanese servers?? anyway i fully support this and would LOVE to see a full fic or oneshot or smth of it exploring it! the angst possibilities..... the confusing feelings...... especially to use it as a way to explore vils relationship w his own gender and headcanons!

on another note, i believe gender is a very personal thing and it means smth different to everyone so like i 100% believe vil would prob use both he/him and she/her in a funky gender way and honestly! love that for her! gender is fucked! lets have fun w it and make silly lil stories about pretty people playing w gender!

maybe mc isnt lesbian but def sapphic leaning and everyone just assumes lesbian or smth! theyre crying to vil after the pretty queen leaves, their makeup messy and it breaks vils heart and while he's helping clean their face, they spot the mask or smth and just go! :0 YOU (finger pointing emoji) while vil panics thinking that theyll think he betrayed them or was tricking them or smth and theyre just like "bestie i like fems"

bc i love vil in a very lesbian way too 👉🏻👈🏻 i just like feminine things and feminine people and other high fems like myself

Ahhh me too!! Recently I've been more he/they since I've been working out and gettin' buff to appear more androgynous. I still use she/they of course but I am more comfortable as genderfluid/nonbinary! I love the expression of gender in fanfiction and having headcanons of characters I love!~! Me and our lovely Vil are both Aries!!

I think gender should be explored of course!! I also agree that gender is fucked and its something you cant lock into place since its a societal creation. Its a spectrum and can be changed. To me at least!! But of course I never want to offend anyone with my writing. It would break my heart if someone took what I wrote or said and saw it as a transphobic piece of media.

Which is also why I have yet to write Trans!Readers and Male!Readers because of things that have been said to me in the past. Ahhhh,, I just want everyone to read what I write and enjoy it. Fanfiction is for everyone!!

This will be something I write when I find free time since I am secretly a Vil stan, or I might dedicate it to my secret side account. Iykyk since I am... Living a double life... Easier to post longer fics under a different format without pressuring myself to do it the way I always have. We will see if we meet our queen in a multi chapter fic!! It would be short but I would love to go in depth, especially with a fem!MC who is exploring her sexuality and maybe even her own gender?

The idea of the 'queen' wishing MC goodbye would be so sad to write... Her beloved queen who she gets tea with, even though her gorgeous face is hidden behind a fan as she elegantly enjoys her tea...

Oh my god... If Vil and MC previously spoke on MagiCam... 'The Queen' would give MC a phone number to text one maybe?!?!? Or maybe... Vil has a secret side account dedicated to his female persona??

Please... I need more people to ride this train with me... I want to write this when I get spare time...

#ask the devil #vil schoenheit propaganda

[omiscurls]

I don't know if requests are open or not cuz I am new to this.... If they are closed please ignore this if not consider lending some of yyour creative juice to this idea

Itto, zhongli, childe and diluc (any of them or other characters of your choice) hurts there s/o physically unintentionally and now they are afraid to be near them. (please forgive me for my poor English as its not my first language) also I recently found your page and you are like really really cool! Like I have cried while reading so many of your works

fragile

hi! i closed requests, since my final year started and i have loads of exams to prepare to, and lots of assignments, but I figured i might make exceptions for some asks because i have some time on my hands for the next few days, so here it goes!

plot: character unintentionally hurts the reader

characters: childe, diluc (sorry i have no idea how to write itto yet)

warnings: curses, unintentional harm caused, absolutely NO toxic actions so don’t worry, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

the sayings that childe uses at the end of his part are both Slavic, although one is Russian and the other is polish. I won’t brag with my rusty Russian (havent studied it since middle school), but it translates precisely to “we’re gonna live, we’re not gonna die” and the polish one is „do wesela się zagoi” and it’s also precisely “it’s gonna get fine [implied: the wound is gonna heal] before the wedding”

diluc

when one is put out of the line of duty abruptly, like diluc when he left the knights, and doesn’t train on a daily basis, even if he does engage in fights, one can easily forget the kind of strength he holds.

even if he was called the youngest, most talented calvary captain the order had, even if mondstadt whispers the name of the darknight hero with admiration, he still forgets that that person they talk about and him, diluc of the mondstadt winery, are one and the same, and therefore their strength is one and the same.

“god, i can’t believe we’re still going over this. you wanted me here by 7 and unscratched, i came home three hours later and, well, not unscratched. i said i was sorry. i said i was going to be more mindful of how i handle myself. can we please, please end the topic here?” he pleaded, voice coated with a layer of sarcasm that he only uses when tired and annoyed. you, knowing he’s tired and annoyed, grew even more irritated with how little thought he put in the situation the two of you are currently in. 

“no, we can’t, because clearly you’re still not getting my point!” you raise your voice a little in frustration. it’s like he suddenly turned into a child who’s incapable of understanding why his parents are grounding him, and mistaking you for the bad guy here, even though you were just quite simply worried.

“fine then, what’s your point, enlighten me” he scoffed, making your heart ache slightly. he must’ve had a nasty day, you were sure of that, but you weren’t going to let him get all that out on you.

“my point is i was worried! you’re out late at night, every night, almost, and return all bloody and aching and unwilling to talk with me, tell me, how am i supposed to just go along with that? how do you expect me to not be worried?”

“oh for fucks sake, you treat me like im five or something” diluc groaned, eyes set on the ceiling, but upon being met with complete silence, he looked at you.

you were standing there, in the middle of his, or more specifically, your shared bedroom, arms crossed at chest level, your gaze seemingly set on him, but practically piercing through his figure and looking into complete nothingness while tears gathered and threatened to spill at the brim of your eyes.

fuck, he thought, he made you cry. for a brief second he wondered if it were his actions or his words that hurt you more, but quickly decided that the whole situation was just handled really shitty.

what was he supposed to say to you, that he wouldn’t do it again? he knew damn well it would be a lie. he could come clean about his little nightly ventures, but some part of him, some deeply set teenager-self that never grew up and lived in the dark corners of his heart begged him not to, screamed at him for even considering it an option.

right as he was about to apologize, you spoke.

a quiet “fine” was the only word that broke the silence before you proceeded to walk out the room.

in order to do that, you’d need to walk past him and through the door, and while you were heading there, his mind raced in a lot of different directions, but most importantly, toward the fact that he desperately didn’t want you to leave without him apologizing first.

and so he grabbed your wrist. you just realized how fast you were walking, by how strongly he pulled you back with just his grip. you sighed.

it’s not like you were walking out on him, or like you were mad, you just wanted to clear your head for a little, so you wouldn’t say something you’d regret later.

“either you talk to me, or im going for a walk” you stated, but he stayed silent. he battled himself, wanting to speak up, but didn’t have a version of events to tell you ready just yet.

you sighed yet again, attempting to rip your hand out of his embrace, but failing, being met with his grip on you tightening to an uncomfortable level.

“diluc-“

“i’m going to explain”

“fuck, diluc, you’re hurting me” you scolded, still trying to get your arm away. he looked at your expression, your lips pressed tightly in slight pain, and he let go immediately, taking a step back.

“i’m sorry” he tried explaining as soon as he could “i’m very, very sorry” his voice turned desperate really fast, and you looked up at him in surprise. sure, you did tell him his grip hurt, but it wasn’t as severe as he was clearly imagining it to be, and you quickly realized you may have just triggered some subconscious fear of his. “I didn’t mean to do that, i just- well, i-“ he stumbled over his words, growing mad at himself for not being able to form a sentence.

“it’s fine, calm down first” you said rather bluntly, still massaging your wrist a little, which didn’t go unnoticed, and still wearing an annoyed look on your face, but having clear intentions. “it’s not a big deal.”

“no, no, it is, but i just… i didn’t want you to go because i really suck at apologizing later, and it never turns out the way i want it to, and i hate leaving things open like this, and i-“ he ran out of breath “i do want to explain tonight to you, but i don’t know if i can, and i need time to think, and-“

“hey” you approached him slowly, switching your irritated grimace with a slight smile. “I’m not nearly as hurt or as mad as you think i am. you’re just quite strong and i wanted you to know your grip kinda hurt. and im not angry overall, im worried, as i said earlier.”

diluc looked down at his hands guiltily, and after a while, grabbed your wrist ever so slightly and softly to see if there wasn’t any mark left, and to his surprise, and more importantly, relief, there wasnt. he laced his fingers with yours carefully before looking up at you and taking a breath.

“forgive me” he pleaded “I have lost my cool, but it won’t happen again”

you nodded, assuring him you knew he meant no harm. just as you were about to remind him the reason for your fight again, he began speaking.

“come sit with me. there’s a huge story i need to tell you.”

the little teenager in him was still screaming, but hopefully you could ease his anger just as you eased the adult diluc’s pain every single day. at least so he hoped.

childe

ever since tartaglia and you became more serious, he had been skillfully separating his work life from his private matters completely. 

if you hadn’t known him before, you probably wouldn’t have even guessed he was part of the fatui, let alone a high-ranked diplomat. 

you grew annoyed at his antics, but never uttered a word, because you understood the reasoning behind it, he just didn’t want to put you in harms way, it was actually kinda sweet. 

nevertheless, you were glowing with pride when he had to return to the site of his subordinates’ training, and decided to take you along

“see guys, this is precisely what i was telling you about earlier.” he said, halting the sparring exercise the young fatui agents were in the middle of, walking up to a practicing pair, wanting to show something on their example. “if you look too much on what you’re doing, on your hands, your feetwork, whatever, you’re eventually gonna get caught up in checking your form and miss the opponent making a move on you. and while form is important, it really is, it’s nearly as important, as, well, keeping all your teeth, or your life, for that matter.” he said half-jokingly, patting the shoulder of the boy he was standing in front of, now explaining something to him only. 

he looked endearing while he was teaching, you thought. being young himself, he was still playful, and at times immature, when he was with you, but now he had sort of a mentour mask on him. it got to you that you may have even disregarded his experience - he was so positive and enthusiastic all the time that it was easy to forget that he was like a deadly machine when needed to, and that a lot of unpleasant experiences leaded to him being that way. 

you shook the uncomfortable thought, saving it for later, now focusing only on taking in the sight of your boyfriend being all in his zone. 

“come on guys, i’ll walk you through this step by step, i just need a volunteer to work with me. i don’t bite, promise” he laughed, but the audience stayed in place. not like they didn’t like him or anything, but you noticed they were really scared of sparring him. who wouldn’t though, humans have survival instincts after all. 

“aight” you said, jumping off your spot “i’ll spar with you” 

tartaglia looked over at you in an instant, eyes growing a bit worried. 

“you sure?” he asked nonchalantly, but you sensed the displeased undertone in his voice. 

“positive” you responded “if i do it, it’ll show everybody it’s not as scary as it seems, considering i have little to no training compared to you all” you looked at the students with a bright smile. they watched your every moved as you got ready and set to fight, and you couldn’t quite tell if it was admiration they were looking with, or just pure shock. 

“do try to keep up” tartaglia teased, getting into position. 

you parred all of his attacks for the most part, not attacking, because you knew it’d end badly, but you stood your ground quite well. you could even sense childe being sort of impressed. he was talking a lot, considering it was all a scene to teach something to the young agents, and you couldn’t focus on your movements. you could tell he was cutting you a lot of slack, his punches stopped milimeters away from your skin, to then barely even touch you, and you grew irritated of that. as stupid as it was, you felt insulted. 

so just as you figured he was about to finish, you kicked him by surprise with all you had in you, completely throwing him off track, causing him to instinctively pin you down, as he would normally to ensure his safety. he jokingly counted to three, like they do in sparring matches, and lent you a hand to raise you back up before continuing with his speech. you walked over to the place you were sitting previously, a sharp paing in your back forcing you to lean forward and limp a little.

the training lasted another hour or two, you couldn’t tell because of how focused you were on the pain in your back. the students left the site in quite a hurry, partly because it was finally dinner time, and physical training does make one hungry, and tartaglia walked back to you. 

“man, these guys have so much left to learn, i mean, compared to my group when i was still in training, or even compared to my squad, they kinda suck” he laughed “but i guess i’ll make it work, i’ve seen worse groups going into the line of duty before” 

he was talking while packing his bag, not glancing at you until he was ready. 

“shall we?” he offered you a  hand “sorry this interrupted our day together, but, tell you what, how about i say dinner’s on me and we can go eat it at that one terrace over the harbor, where you like? the sun’s beginning to set, it’ll look quite lovely there? and then we can do anything you want after we get home” 

he smiled so warmly you felt it deep in your heart, leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of your nose. 

“well, get up, or we’ll miss the moment” he urged you, and you did try to jump off your spot, but fell forward, taken by surprise by yet another shot of pain, a string of curse words leaving your mouth.” what’s the matter?” he immediately asked. “are you hurt?”

“no, i’m not, i’m fine, it’s just-”

“you don’t look fine to me” he interrupted quickly, his hand moving from your embrace to the place of your injury, pressing down on it ever so slightly to see your reaction. you hissed in pain. “you’re far from fine! why didn’t you tell me earlier something was wrong?” 

“well i didn’t want to seem weak in front of all these people, and well... you” you sighed, feeling even more pathetic as he raised an eyebrow at you, like you were a little kid and he was about to give you a lecture. you decided then and there you much preferred the immature childe from the mentour-like childe. “it’s just, you were already treating me like i was made out of glass there, so i wanted you to actually consider me an even partner, it would be so dumb to prove you right now by being hurt!” 

he almost scoffed. 

“prove me right? you’re not proving me anything right now! the only thing you’re proving is that what you did was hella dumb, i’ll give you that!” he began lecturing, but then stopped himself. he moved his hands to cup your face, the look he gave you softening slowly, from “you’re grounded” level to “you’re so lucky i love you” level. 

“listen. the only reason for why i was, to quote, treating you like you were made out of glass, is that, a, there’s no need to beat the shit out of each other in class, and b, to me, you are, in fact, made out of glass whether you like it or not! and it’s not about me considering you weak or strong, because you are strong, and i do see that, but because i love you, more than anything in the world, life itself, even, and i’d hate myself if anything happened to you because of me. which is kinda what i’m feeling now” he gazed away from you, biting the inside of his cheek, clearly searching for the right words to say precisely what he was thinking. 

“but i wanted you to treat me like you’d treat anyone else, i wanted to get hurt” 

“well then that’s just plain dumb” he blurted out instantly. “i mean- doesn’t matter what you wanted, there was no need for me to act on instinct like that. i could’ve easily just blocked your kick if i had thought a little more, but i didn’t. that’s on me, and i’m sorry.” he looked back at you, with guilt practically eating him alive. he sighed. “i’m really sorry. tell me, where does it hurt exactly, here?” he pressed his fingers against the lower part of your back again, and you winced, but shook your head. 

“a little lower” 

“here?” he said after shifting the possition of his fingers, earning a frantic nod from you. “may i?” he asked, lifting the material of your shirt a bit, and after you nodded again, looked over you to examine the kind of bruise that was definitely forming. 

“well, you’re just bruised, badly, but still, looks like nothing’s broken or anything like that. i have an ointment at home that’ll make this go away in no time.” 

he looked back at you, visibly a little more relieved, smiling softly. 

“i’m really sorry i hurt you” he said quietly, suddenly seeming so small. 

“it’s nothing, really, i did kinda brought this on myself” you giggled, but obviously he didn’t find it funny.

“i’ll make it up to you, i promise, and it won’t ever happen again” he was so caught up in his own guilt-tripping thinking process that he probably didn’t even register you were finding this situation okay. 

you leaned forward to press a kiss on his cheek, and rested your head on his shoulder. 

“i know you’d never even lay a finger on me on purpose. i’m aware. accidents happen, and it’s completely fine, i’m gonna live.” 

he let out another sigh, before nodding in agreement and lifting your chin so you’d look him in the eye again. 

“i truly wouldn’t.” he whispered with such desperation, like he was begging you to understand, even though you already did. 

“alright” he murmured after some time “we should get going” 

and with that, he lifted you up and proceeded to walk down to the harbour, carrying you in his arms. 

“i can stand on my own, you know” you whined “and besides, you’re pressing the bruise” 

he chuckled, whispering something to himself, in a language you didn’t quite understand. 

“what does that even mean?” you giggled, getting comfortable in his embrace. 

“it’s a saying from my homeland, and to translate precisely, it means we’re gonna live, we won’t die. it’s a way of saying that everything is going to be okay. we do also say something like - it’s gonna get better before the wedding.”

“what wedding?”

“oh, it’s just a saying”

“but whose wedding, mine?” 

“oh for heavens sake, do you know the saying curiousity killed the cat?” 

you laughed.

“i do”

“then zip it.”

#fluff #childe angst #diluc angst #angst #angst to fluff #angst to comfort #hurt comfort #genshin x reader #genshin diluc #genshin childe #childe x reader #diluc x reader #childe fluff #diluc fluff

[edenmemes]

skyward sword sentence starters

more to be added !

❝ you promised to meet me before it starts, remember? ❞ ❝ you seem pretty...relaxed about the whole thing. ❞ ❝ is something wrong? what’s the hurry? ❞ ❝ sometimes i just don’t know what’s going on in your head. ❞ ❝ i'm not like you. i fail at everything i try. ❞ ❝ a shrimpy boy like you hardly looks the part of a hero. ❞ ❝ swatting a few monsters will be no trouble for you. ❞ ❝ run and play this time. get in my way again, though, and you’re dead. ❞ ❝ don’t even pretend that was an accident! ❞ ❝ do you doubt these eyes? i look upon your shirt and i see a single thread loose on your sleeve stitching. ❞ ❝ this is no place for one such as you. and yet here you stand. ❞ ❝ i need to vent all this unhealthy anger,     and your agony is such a great stress reliever. ❞ ❝ remember what we discussed. restrain yourself. focus on the task at hand. ❞ ❝ do my words anger you? do my words sting? let them. ❞ ❝ you don’t come by here just to see me, do you? ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? you just made a face like you wanted to say something. ❞ ❝ oh, i get it. you’re trying to weasel out of having to practice. ❞ ❝ i guess it’s not all bad. at least i’m getting paid. ❞ ❝ there’s something i’ve been meaning to talk to you about.... ❞ ❝ would you wake up, straighten up, and grow a backbone already? ❞ ❝ nice try, but you’re not fooling me. ❞ ❝ i...i have to go. i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ folks were always cheering me on like it was a parade. but as you know, time passes. ❞ ❝ you keep some very strange company, friend. ❞ ❝ i don’t know if it’s safe yet...i’m going to stay here awhile longer. ❞ ❝ oh no. you’ve done it now! there’s no escaping this one! ❞ ❝ so, what now? are you going to cry? ❞ ❝ i can’t begin to tell you how sorry i am for pulling you into all of this. ❞ ❝ what is wrong with you? just look at what you’ve done! ❞ ❝ what we’ve seen here today defies explanation. ❞ ❝ you put up more of a fight than i would have thought possible out of such a soft person. ❞ ❝ did you really just draw your sword? foolish. ❞ ❝ should you heed the call of destiny,     i don’t know what dangers you may have to face. ❞ ❝ i can’t help being such a coward...i’m really sorry. ❞ ❝ i fear i spent far too long teasing and toying with you. ❞ ❝ you do your people proud. ❞ ❝ how long do we have to live in constant fear? ❞ ❝ i'll just beat you within an inch of your life! ❞ ❝ dawn is drawing near. it has been a long night for the both of us, hasn’t it? ❞ ❝ you were limp and unconscious. i feared the worst. ❞ ❝ what do you think you’re doing sneaking out with that? ❞ ❝ such a beautiful day, but we’re too busy to enjoy it. some things never change. ❞ ❝ i guess you’ll never learn unless you run into trouble one day. ❞ ❝ look at my face. if that’s your idea of a joke, i’m not laughing. ❞ ❝ you appeared to be relishing that snooze, so i declined to wake you. ❞ ❝ huh? oh, uh, nothing. really, i was, uh...talking to myself. ❞ ❝ you’re looking a little pale... ❞ ❝ i imagine you and i will cross paths again. until then, do not lower your guard. ❞ ❝ you certainly are persistent... ❞ ❝ all that may be well intentioned and true, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. ❞ ❝ i’m prepared to pay the price for what i’ve done. ❞ ❝ i had no idea we were fated to carry such a heavy destiny. ❞ ❝ i need your strength to tip the scales in our favor. ❞ ❝ all this training, and no results! ❞ ❝ all i’ve hears so far is a bunch of babbling about destiny,     but that’s a load of garbage. ❞ ❝ when night draws her tenebrous curtain across the sky, i come here. ❞ ❝ what in the world just happened? did you use some kind of magic? ❞ ❝ please, see it through and prove the legends true. ❞ ❝ i was happy just spending my days hanging around with you. i wanted that feeling to last forever. ❞ ❝ you are vital to a mission of great importance. ❞ ❝ the chances of that happening are just about less than zero. ❞ ❝ i hate to break it to you, but today’s the day i bust up this adorable little fantasyland you’re living in. ❞ ❝ this is a war, and the fate of the land hangs in the balance. ❞ ❝ i know you, and you’re no hero. ❞ ❝ you’re messing with me. say it again, i dare you. ❞ ❝ you float through life with your head in the clouds. ❞ ❝ i don’t do charity for wimps. ❞ ❝ what’s this...? what is it that my eyes behold? ❞ ❝ don’t even think about it! are we clear? ❞ ❝ the point is your work here is done. i got it covered from here. ❞ ❝ my eyes foresee a hazardous, thorny road ahead for you... ❞ ❝ you...this is your fault, you know. ❞ ❝ my heart is bursting with thoughts of you. ❞ ❝ i have a serious dilemma on my mind right now, and you’re distracting me. ❞ ❝ i’ll make you proud. you’ll see! ❞ ❝ feels dangerous. something could jump out at us at any moment. ❞ ❝ we’re talking about a tale that’s been passed down over a lot of years, so i wouldn’t put much stock in it. ❞ ❝ i have the right to experience an unfettered and passionate love, don’t i? ❞ ❝ i’ll tell you, it gives even a big guy like me the creeps. ❞ ❝ oh...how can i get you to notice me? ❞ ❝ i get the feeling nothing i can say will talk you out of it. ❞ ❝ my love for you is wider than the horizon and deeper than the clouds. ❞ ❝ trust my piercing eyes...listen to my pure and innocent voice. ❞ ❝ i feel so excited, so cheerful, so full of life. ❞ ❝ i sense a silent power dwelling somewhere in your frame. ❞ ❝ this turn of events has left me with a strong appetite for bloodshed. ❞ ❝ there’s no doubting it. the gears of fate have begun to turn. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i was lost in thought there for a moment. ❞ ❝ don’t men open doors for a lady anymore? how long am i supposed to stand here waiting for a little chivalry? ❞ ❝ i hate even saying this, but i guess you got it all figured out. ❞ ❝ you must not push yourself. you’re still recovering. ❞ ❝ you think you’re pretty suave, don’t you? ❞ ❝ i know you’re in a hurry, so i really appreciate you taking the time to help. ❞ ❝ i saw it, but i was able to escape by the seat of my pants. ❞ ❝ do you have any idea how that made me feel inside? furious! outraged! sick with anger! ❞ ❝ you’re really something else. i could never imagine myself doing what you’re about to do. ❞ ❝ i must aid you in fulfilling the great destiny that is your burden to carry. ❞ ❝ i should have believed you...i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ lately, when i think about you, my head gets all fuzzy, my heart races, i get short of breath, and i feel all dizzy... ❞ ❝ you should know better than that to fret about me. ❞ ❝ thanks for jumping in there to rescue me. ❞ ❝ hey, hold on there! what are you trying to pull all of a sudden? ❞ ❝ your face cries out in earnest wonder, and that cry is: ‘what’s this?!’ ❞ ❝ i promise up front not to murder you. ❞ ❝ you...didn’t hear any of that, did you? there’s no way you heard, right? ❞ ❝ i tell you, all sorts of weird things are going on lately. ❞ ❝ calamitous visions appear before me... ❞ ❝ you...make me so happy...i think i’m going to keel over... ❞ ❝ i wanted you to be the first to see me like this. ❞ ❝ i can’t imagine a more fitting color for you. it’s as though you were born to wear it. ❞ ❝ i bet you can’t even decide what to have for lunch on your own, huh? ❞ ❝ amazing, right? wrong! it is beyond amazing! ❞ ❝ it can’t be easy for you, can it? ❞ ❝ you’ll see in time that you have your own role to play in all this. ❞ ❝ trust in fate to guide your feet. ❞ ❝ i bet you’re here just to check me out, right? ❞ ❝ i just hope nothing has happened. i’m worried sick thinking about it. ❞ ❝ whoa...you’re kind of imploding my mind right now. ❞ ❝ if you wanna live again one day, you should head for home. ❞ ❝ you have a great journey before you, and those clothes...they don’t look up to the task. ❞ ❝ did you manage to get even a wink of sleep last night? ❞ ❝ ever heard of banging your knuckles against the door? it’s called knocking. ❞ ❝ so, uh...yeah. just how long have you been standing there? ❞ ❝ honestly, it’s almost as though you become a completely different person when you worry about me. ❞ ❝ you showing up here must mean we’re connected somehow. like fate. ❞ ❝ sorry to put you through that. i guess i owe you one now. ❞ ❝ to tell you the truth, i’m feeling a little frustrated, and right now i just need someone to vent to. ❞ ❝ what’s with you? leave me alone if you don’t want anything. ❞ ❝ hearing that is such a...huge weight off my mind. ❞ ❝ though your journey will put you in harms way, you must endure. ❞ ❝ i'm just deadweight. what kinda use is that to anyone... ❞ ❝ seriously, what is that thing over there?! ❞ ❝ before i say another word, i feel like i owe you an apology. ❞ ❝ during your long journey, you’ve grown so much. ❞ ❝ from the moment i laid my eyes on you, i could tell you had a gentle and generous heart. ❞ ❝ oh dear...i don’t know what’s come over me all of a sudden... ❞ ❝ you don’t appear to have any serious injuries. for that much we can be grateful. ❞ ❝ i can see into those dopey eyes of yours. ❞ ❝ i can finally smile and laugh again! thank you ever so much. ❞ ❝ i think i might of broke something. ❞ ❝ is that it? i thought it was going to put up more of a fight. ❞ ❝ i thought we were goners this time. sort of glad i was wrong about that. ❞ ❝ what? i don’t seem like my usual self? ❞ ❝ this place needs a name. a name fitting for this rugged, adventurous wilderness. ❞ ❝ what were you thinking? you scared a year off my life! ❞ ❝ care to explain just what you meant by ‘our special moment alone’? ❞ ❝ my advice? work hard and wish with all your heart. ❞ ❝ say, you look all flustered. ❞ ❝ i fear we can’t dwell on our success. ❞ ❝ the world is bursting with undiscovered surprises, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ you're not exactly mr/mrs.perfect either, are you? ❞ ❝ this is easily as scary as i thought it would be. ❞ ❝ i swear this neighborhood’s getting crummier every day. ❞ ❝ you ain’t as dumb as you look. ❞ ❝ i was going to ask if you wanted me to take care of you forever... ❞ ❝ i need to learn how to keep these delirious dreams in check. ❞ ❝ maybe you should forget about everything that happened here tonight. ❞ ❝ can you imagine a more gruesome fate? ❞ ❝ there are more monsters about than before, so be careful. ❞ ❝ human desire is an insatiable, fearsome thing. ❞ ❝ i sense an evil presence on the other side of this door. ❞ ❝ you understand, don’t you? i’m not wrong about this, am i? ❞ ❝ i never wanted to lay eyes on you again. ❞ ❝ i would have gotten discouraged if you hadn’t come by to cheer me on. you gave me motivation. ❞ ❝ who do you think you are, getting involved in my business like that? ❞ ❝ i just wish there was more i could do for you... ❞ ❝ i don’t even understand how you could make such a wild accusation! ❞ ❝ it was at that moment i finally realized. i realized that...i love you. ❞ ❝ make sure you come home every now and then. nothing like a good sleep in your own bed. ❞ ❝ you’d better not keep me waiting. ❞ ❝ make sure you put your heart into it! i won’t stand for anything but your best. ❞ ❝ how could you be swayed by the temptation of material gain?     do you have no honor? ❞ ❝ you really want to hear about all my troubles? that’s kind of you. ❞ ❝ you...weren’t supposed to see that whole spectacle. how embarrassing... ❞ ❝ you have only succeeded in buying us a little more time. ❞ ❝ watch it! that’s no way to talk to someone who just saved your life! ❞ ❝ you look like you need to get something off your chest. ❞ ❝ know that all the questions you have now will be answered in time. ❞ ❝ there is nothing natural about these tremors. ❞ ❝ you might just be the person i need! you seem pretty good with the ladies. ❞ ❝ it’s great to hear you’re so confident in me. ❞ ❝ ideal love is unfettered and passionate. anything less than that can’t really be called love at all. ❞ ❝ you're incessant buzzing around my head like some irksome gadfly when i’m this busy is...making me very disagreeable. ❞ ❝ you may not have noticed, but i’m trying to hide here.     could you please scoot along? ❞ ❝ you'd better keep your eyes to yourself, if you know what i mean. ❞ ❝ have you come to laugh at me in my miserable state? ❞ ❝ you...you came to see me! i’m so happy. ❞ ❝ your job is simple! you make sure none of these monsters lays a claw on me. not...one...claw. ❞ ❝ now is not the time to be picky about who will help you. ❞ ❝ watch carefully while i demonstrate what a real hero looks like. ❞ ❝ you are something else! there is nothing you cannot do. ❞ ❝ if you think about how often we meet, you have to admit that our relationship has gone beyond friendship, you know? ❞ ❝ i’ll make the affair so excruciating, you’ll deafen yourself with the shrill sound of your own screams. ❞ ❝ i was right, then. there is something special about you. ❞ ❝ i should have reprimanded you the last time we met, but instead i was...soft. ❞ ❝ ha-ha! you didn’t see that coming, did you? ❞ ❝ you really are a snake in the grass. ❞ ❝ you are indeed worthy of being called a hero. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to getting stared at like this. it’s making me blush. ❞ ❝ i can’t hide anything from you, can i? ❞ ❝ the longer i train, the more i realize i’ll never measure up to you. ❞ ❝ whoa...you took out every last one of them. ❞ ❝ i know how bad this must look to you right now, but i assure you i mean no harm. ❞ ❝ it’s all very strange, but i doubt there’s much of a connection between these things. ❞ ❝ you're a weird one, climbing all the way up here. ❞ ❝ don’t cry --- it’s perfectly, mostly safe! ❞ ❝ you and i, we’re bound by that thread of fate. destined to fight. ❞ ❝ meet me in battle, and the thread of fate that binds us will be soaked crimson with your blood. ❞ ❝ i do not wish to dwell on what may have happened if you hadn’t been here. ❞ ❝ you have awakened a wrath that will burn for eons! ❞ ❝ you really like those fantasy stories, eh? ❞ ❝ there is one teensy, tiny thing i lack...namely, mercy. ❞ ❝ i must warn you, i won’t go easy on you this time. ❞ ❝ i might be willing to forgive and forget if you’ll strike a deal. ❞ ❝ since i know i can be honest with you, i’ll admit i got a little sulky. it was frowns all around. ❞ ❝ i see you’re still among the living. ❞ ❝ i saw them dragging you off unconscious, so i tailed them. ❞ ❝ i want you to visit me at my house tonight. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to say a word. i can see how you feel by the spark in your eye. ❞ ❝ you’ll see. i’ll be as tough as you in no time. ❞ ❝ it’s not like ‘oh, hey, that person’s back! i’m so happy!’ or anything like that... ❞ ❝ whoa...that’s some really terrible handwriting. ❞ ❝ i would very much like it if you would go out with me. ❞ ❝ truly? you choose me? ❞ ❝ i swear to you, whatever it takes, i will drag you into an eternity of torment. ❞ ❝ you and i, we’re bound by a thread of fate. ❞ ❝ i’ll watch over you, protecting you from afar. ❞ ❝ until then, we’ll keep our love secret. ❞ ❝ this news has just filled my heart with rainbows! ❞ ❝ this place seems strangely familiar... ❞ ❝ don’t you gotta take care of your own business first? ❞ ❝ they’re not going to do anything nice if they catch you. ❞ ❝ it’s not humane to tease someone this bored. ❞ ❝ i’m not some sideshow for you to gawk at. ❞ ❝ it’s weird to say out loud, but that’s just how i feel right now. ❞ ❝ you can’t break me with interrogation. you’ll never make me talk. ❞ ❝ word is there’s a huge treasure hidden in these here ruins... ❞ ❝ what? that’s not weird to say! ❞ ❝ ...i understand your true feelings. better than you know. ❞ ❝ all the fairytales that we heard growing up...they appear all too real. ❞ ❝ do i look sad? no, i’m doing what i want to do! ❞ ❝ i don’t know what came over me! i had no clue i had the talent to make something like this. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t be out here in the open with no way to defend yourself. ❞ ❝ you do have the tendency to cause trouble for those you ‘help’. ❞ ❝ as far as i’m concerned, i got nothing but time. ❞ ❝ don’t you play coy with me. i know that you know, so why not let me in on the fun? ❞ ❝ so you really think a sob story like that is going to work on me? what a joke. ❞ ❝ i’d take pleasure in punishing you, but i have no time for recreation. ❞ ❝ sorry to leave you on your own, but you look like you can handle it. ❞ ❝ remember --- it’s a secret to everybody. ❞ ❝ it isn’t as action packed as what you’re doing, but maybe this is my destiny. ❞ ❝ don’t you just love the way it smells down here? ❞ ❝ defending the land...it’s my purpose, i think. it’s why i’m here. ❞ ❝ what do i know...you might just surprise me. ❞ ❝ fibber! you’re a fibbity fibber! ❞ ❝ you needn’t even say it. i can tell from the look of sheer astonishment on your face. ❞ ❝ you have had this destiny thrust upon you without warning...    or choice, for that matter. ❞ ❝ don’t do anything heroic and get yourself caught. ❞ ❝ ...you want to tell me but you can’t? ❞ ❝ you know, i really worry about you. it’s a weakness of mine. ❞ ❝ try not to get in the way of my shots, ok? ❞ ❝ i haven’t slept a wink in...ahhh...i don’t even know how long. ❞ ❝ i had my suspicions, but until now i wasn’t sure. ❞ ❝ you seem a good deal stronger than the last time we met. ❞ ❝ i would be remiss if i didn’t let you know of the weight on my heart. ❞ ❝ i have a reputation to protect, you know. ❞ ❝ listen closely. do you hear that? ❞

#rp meme #roleplay meme #roleplay starters

[candescentclitoria]

Item: Doubt

Pairing: Alcina Dimitrescu x Gender Neutral! Reader

Warnings: Pouty, Angry Alcina. Vanity being thrown.

Co-Writer/Editor: @lissett108

A/N: This took a long time, but here you go! I hope you enjoy!

Your hair stood on end, a shiver raced down your spine and a lump came into your throat- you didn’t know what you did. She had never been angry enough to throw things, let alone throw those things at you. Now, you sat in one of the many hidden passages of the castle, your need to hide from Alcina great in your instincts.

 A few hours earlier, you were on your way to go see her, the book you were reading in the library long finished.

Your hand reaches to push open the door, your other hand holds the next book you wish to read with Alcina. “Cina, I found another book I want to read with you, maybe we can start tonight?” 

A yell escapes your girlfriend as she throws her vanity at you, her eyes red rather than their normal gold. You jump back and fall, the book in your hand landing in front of you. Tears begin to gather in your eyes and your body shakes. Your breathing begins to shake as well, was she throwing the vanity at you? What did you do and why was she trying to hurt you for it? 

You didn’t try to ask her, you couldn’t. Your legs had a mind of their own at this point and they decided it’s time to get away from the threat that your girlfriend posed to your life: if she even was your girlfriend anymore. You didn’t know. 

You hear Alcina cry your name out behind you, but you continue to run. She said she would never hurt you and yet doubt starts to creep in. Perhaps she didn’t mean what she said, maybe she just wanted your trust. 

Heavy footsteps sound out from behind you and whimpers fall from your lips. She was getting closer by the second. Your passage was just up ahead, A few more steps come on [Name]! 

“[Name], please! I beg you, let me explain!” You shake your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. Your hands tremble with the force of a thousand thunderstorms as you touch the wall. Hells fury knew no limits compared to your girlfriend. Regardless if she loved you, the fury was no limit to what you were just exposed to. Yet, as fearful as you were, doubt crept in like the uninvited. How could something like this be after all this time? Where were your instincts, mind, and heart in the matter? You love her, but how blind are you to her vampiric nature? Eventually, your hand grazes the right place, a wall opens and soon it was you and the darkness of doubt. Maybe it was bad timing, maybe it was the book, or maybe just you? Her strength and ferocity was something you had yet to witness but not in this form. You always thought she would protect you, not scare you- maybe it was you. Something had trailed you away from the entrances and soon you were left with only an empty room and your thoughts. Alcina’s voice had faded out to soft whimpers and low whispers of anxiety. She was somewhat close yet somewhat far. Is this what you had forgotten? The fear of becoming replaced and forgotten had crept around like a coiling snake- yet doubt was the only poison your body felt. The fear of not being enough and her deciding to off you herself. When did you become so fragile? 

Hours pass, your tears long gone and your fatigue growing by the minute. You have no clue what time it is, but you’re sure it's night by now. A yawn escapes your lips and you lean your head back against the wall behind you. You stretch your legs and move to stand but a creak stops you. You look to your left and jump, pushing yourself into the corner furthest from her. Alcina stands before you, her hands held up. “[Name], please listen to me. I didn’t know you were there and I wasn’t throwing my vanity at you. I had just gotten off the phone with Mother Miranda. She still wants to go through with the ceremony, even after everything that Winters boy has done. I let my anger get the best of me. Please, I beg that you believe me, I would never hurt you.”

For a moment the feeling was fleeting, just like your doubt, but before you was the woman you loved, begging for forgiveness. “Cina.” your voice cracks with sudden worry and fear. “You- I.. Did I do something? Something that already had you angry at me?”

“No! No my love you could never! He.. he’s still running amok in the castle and Mother Miranda is more concerned with the ceremony than the threat he poses to all of us, especially you. I thought she would care, but I was wrong. She doesn’t care about anything besides her pleasure. I’m so sorry that you thought I was mad at you.” Alcina pauses and moves her hand to her mouth, tears begin to run down her face. Her body begins to shake as she sobs. “Please forgive me.. please don’t leave me.”

As your eyes scan her face for any traces of lying, your hands clench the fabric of your dress, and you whimper. “How do I know you won’t hurt me in the future? How do I know I won’t be thrown to the side and forgotten like some worthless doll?” Alcina looks up at you and moves to cup your face, but you pull back with a flinch. “Alcina Diane, why should I trust you?” The cold air had bled through the walls so secretly that it felt like someone was going to fall off and never return, the rift forming between you and your lover growing by the second.

 “Tell me why.” You ask again, but more directly. A look of sadness washes over the face you used to love to kiss so much. Right now, you couldn’t fathom the idea of placing your lips on hers, your doubts and worries too fresh to allow it. Alcina lets go of the breath she was holding in her throat. “I’ll start from the beginning.”

The look on her face was that of pain, she felt like her world was shattering. How could I forget that humans were so fragile in both mind and body? Alcina asks herself. Her lover hadn’t known of her ferocity or how intense she could be but now was the time for reassurance and sincerity. 

“I saved you from being attacked by a Lycan before I knew you or even before you knew of me, I rushed to you.” She responds honestly and gets as close to her lover’s height as possible. She doesn’t reach out to her love, but she leaves her gloved hand out. 

“I refused and fought mother Miranda to keep you alive and in my castle because…” she cuts out. Slowly but surely, she composes herself.

“I love you and I will protect even from myself if I must.” She says, holding her hand out to her lover as reassurance. With a small amount of force, her lover’s hand grips her own but was shaking.

“I’m afraid because I’m new to this, new to you. Alcina please let me know of you fully.” Slightly taken aback Alcina gently lets herself touch heads with her lover’s to show a new form of intimacy. 

“Ask me anything, anything about myself. There may be things I’m not completely ready to talk about, but if there is I’ll let you know eventually. I’ve known you for nearly a year, but there are still things I’m working up to tell you, just as you have things you’re working up to tell me as well.”

You nod and place your hand on her shoulder, “That’s fair. Just let me know about your personality. How you tick, what makes you mad, sad. I want to be able to help and I can’t unless you let me. I now know that Mother Miranda tends to piss you off, so maybe I can help. I know you like cuddling, maybe we can cuddle after a phone call with her? Maybe something more if needed.” 

A small chuckle escapes your lover's lips and she leans down, placing her lips on your forehead. “Yes, that’s completely true. I do admire and look up to her, but she doesn’t care as much as I thought she did. She doesn’t care that Winters poses a threat to all of us, yes that includes you.” Hands run up your back and pull you closer to Alcina’s body, her face nuzzling into your neck. “When the girls make messes with their prey, I tend to get irritated. Especially when they let their prey escape and run around the castle. That not only poses a threat to our business but to you as well. I don’t want to take a chance on you getting hurt, I know it’s selfish but I can’t lose you.” You place your hands on her cheeks and pull her down to face you. “You’re not going to lose me. Honestly, I thought you wanted me gone, you threw the vanity and I thought that was your way of telling me to leave.”

Alcina shakes her head quickly and places her gloved hands on your cheeks. “Never my love! I would never want you gone, floarea mea mica. You mean the world to me. Before I met you, I was indeed content, I was used to being alone romantically and focusing on my daughters and Mother Miranda. Then you came in and stole my love, stole my daughter's love. We all love you and couldn’t imagine life without you Draga mea. You’re our little flower. I’ll spend the rest of eternity making sure you know that I love you. Making sure you know I’ll want you forever.”

You can't hold back the whimper in your throat at Alcina's words. She didn't want you gone, you meant the world to her. A smile crosses your face and you pull Alcina close to you. “I'll still be wary, I'm not used to seeing you that angry, let alone angry enough to throw things. It scared me. Alcina nods and pulls you into her lap. “I completely understand lubirea mea, It will take time and I can deal with it, I can wait. I want you to know that you can trust me and know that I would never harm you. I can't fathom the thought.” 

Gentle kisses are placed across your face, large hands set on the small of your back. “What else can I do to assure you Draga mea? Îmbrățișări? Sărutări? Cină?” You giggle at the change in her language and pull her down so her lips meet yours. With the little Romanian you know, you speak, 

“Tinandu-ma, Alcina, va face.”

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #Lady Dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x reader #lady Alcina #lady alcina dimitrescu #Resident Evil: Village #resident evil 8 #TALL LADY

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Rogue

A/N: let it be known that I finally managed to update at the deadline I set myself 🥳 I'm so sorry I was gone this past week but college was getting hella busy so I had to focus on that this past week but I'm backkk. Thanks to everyone who stuck around, I missed you all and can't wait to get to the requests ❤️

Genre: angst to fluff

Warnings: swearing, insecurities (he makes you feel too childish)

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Natsu ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

A loud crash could be heard followed by your and Sting's laughter filling the guild. You quickly fled the scene and hid behind Rogue while stifling your laughter.

You had played the oldest prank in the book on Minerva. A water bucket on a half-open door. You'll never understand how the brilliant mage fell for that one, but she did, resulting in you hiding from her wrath.

"(Y/N)! Sting!" Minerva screeched as the water dripped down her hair.

"We're sorry Minerva-san, we just couldn't pass the opportunity" you apologize on your and Sting's behalf, but it was nowhere near sincere As you both were still doing everything in your power to not burst out in laughter. It wasn't even that funny, but to you and Sting it was hilarious.

"I swear I'm dating a child" the annoyance that was latched on to the words made you immediately stop laughing. Surely he didn't mean for it to come out that harsh, right?

"I'm sorry, what was that" a soft smile still playing on your lips, but that was quickly wiped off when you met his cold gaze.

"I said that you're fucking childish, (Y/N). It was bad enough having Sting act this way, but with you encouraging him and even joining him? I feel like I'm in a fucking daycare. Grow up, will you" Sting laughter also died down as he saw his friend take his frustrations out on you. "Hey, man, that's not cool-"

"No, Sting, it's fine. I- uh- I'll see you all tomorrow" even Minerva shook her head in disappointment as she observed your slumped shoulders as you left the guild. She didn't miss the tears starting to form either.

The rest of the day everyone felt that they were walking on eggshells around Rogue, not daring to get on his bad side. They felt bad for you. Sure you could be a little annoying with all the pranks you pulled, but they all knew it was just good fun. You never meant any harm and just wanted to make the guild feel a little more like home.

That homeyness that you seemed to bring everywhere you went, was gone the next day. Your usual colourful outfits were replaced by dull grey and black clothes. They even were certain that they hadn't seen you crack a smile once that day.

"Hey, (Y/N)! I got this amazing idea for a prank and-" you interrupted Sting before he could elaborate his grand idea "thank you, Sting, but I'll have to decline."

You had never refused a prank before, nor had he ever heard you talk that formal "that's it"

You raised an eyebrow at him as he stormed off to God knows where.

You hated turning him down. After all, you had been itching all day to break this facade, but it was for the best. It'll pay off in the long run you kept telling yourself. After all, you couldn't imagine a world where you'd have to live without Rogue. So if that meant you'd have to change your personality a little bit, you wouldn't even hesitate to make that sacrifice.

Meanwhile, Sting had left to go find Rogue. He knew that his best friend was the only one who could put an end to this "is this what you wanted?"

"I have no clue what you are talking about" Rogue replied as he turned around to meet the fuming blonde.

"You seriously don't see how miserable you made (Y/N)?" He scoffed as Rogue looked around to spot you. It took him some time as he did not expect you to wear something so... Colourless. "You haven't even spoken to her today, have you?"

"I decided that I was way out of line yesterday and that I should give her some time" he explained. Did you really think you needed to change just to please him?

"How kind of you" Rogue was surprised by the sweet words coming out of Sting's mouth, but when he turned back to the said boy he was met by a harsh glare "now go fix it"

"What if I make it worse" the guilty was slowly eating him alive as he dared to steal another glance at you.

"You can't possibly make it worse than it already is" Sting dismissed his insecurities

"Fro thinks so too!" Rogue's head snapped towards the Exceed "Frosch?"

"It's three against one here" Lector also piped up as the three stared at him expectingly.

The raven-haired sighed, knowing he should do something to fix his mistakes, so he took a deep breath, gathered all his courage and headed towards his girlfriend. He never thought he'd feel this scared again to talk to you.

"(Y/N)... Can we talk?" He wanted to sound confident but when you looked at him and not even spared him a small smile, he felt like he wanted to sink back into the shadows.

"Of course, what is it you'd like to talk with me about?" Rogue cringed how smooth your tone was. No unnecessary intonation, no shouting, no expression. Everything was dull and blank.

"Why are you acting like this" your eyes went wide for a second. Were you still not living up to his expectations? Was it too little? Too much? You had no clue.

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you are talking about" you replied swiftly, covering up any traces of emotions you had just shown. "Did you not want me to stop acting like a child?"

"Yes, but-" "and is what I'm doing not exactly that what you asked me to do?" "Yeah... But-" Rogue was getting frustrated, but he knew he had no right to snap at you again.

"Then I don't see the relevance of this conversation. I'll be heading home now. I'll see you tomorrow" with that you placed a kiss on his cheeks and headed back out of the guild.

Rogue's attempts at covering up his frustration were in vain as you could read him like an open book. Afraid to get yelled at again you hastily decided to head back home. Ready to scream or punch something just to get your own frustrations out.

After the failed attempts of him making it up to you, you managed to put up your facade for a week, until one day you just didn't show up. You didn't notify Sting or Rogue in advance, which you normally do, you were just too tired to deal with anyone.

"Has (Y/N) told you she wasn't coming today?" Rogue's anxiety was through the roof. He nearly burned a whole town to the ground when he lost Frosch. Imagine what he'd do if he didn't know where you, his significant other was. "No"

"I'm going to her house" with that Rogue left in an attempt to find you. Luckily for him, you were indeed just at your house.

Your stomach dropped at the sound of someone knocking at your door. You were tired, no, exhausted even. You hated that you had to pretend that you were someone that you're not, but it was all for a good cause you kept telling yourself, and yet you couldn't muster the energy to keep up that facade.

"(Y/N)? Please tell me your home" your heart broke at the sound of his voice. The worry and desperateness were caused because of you. Once again you were not good enough.

You opened the door ever so slightly, just enough, so he could make out that it was in fact you. "Thank God you're here"

"I'm sorry for not giving a heads-up. I promise I'll be back tomorrow" you promised him as you were about to shut the door again, but he stopped you by placing his own hand against the door.

"(Y/N), please, we need to talk" you contemplated for a minute, weighing the pros and the cons "please"

You slowly opened the door further as a signal for him to come in.

The sight in front of him shattered his heart. Your eyes were red and puffy. Your figure was completely slouched and your arms were wrapped around your middle, hugging yourself, in an attempt to shield yourself away from.

"I'm sorry I probably look like a cry baby right now-" he stopped you before you could finish your excuse "hey, no, none of that"

"I want to tell you something and I need you to listen without you interrupting me, okay?" You nodded your head at his request and waited patiently as he continued. "First and foremost I'd like to apologize for my behaviour last week. I shouldn't have worked out my frustration on you and I shouldn't have attacked you like that."

You nodded your head at his apology "second, I want you to know that you should never change your personality. Especially not for me. I love you, (Y/N). And when I say that, I mean every piece of you. Your good and your bad traits. If fell in love with you for who you are, and not the person you've been portraying as the last week."

"Please go back to your old self. I'd rather have a childish person as my girlfriend than a fraud that's clearly exhausted by putting on a facade. I really am sorry for making you feel like you had to change for me" by now you were full-on crying. Maybe it was because of Rogue's kind words, maybe it was because of the exhaustion, maybe a bit of both. All you cared about now was being in his arms and feeling loved.

"It's okay" you whispered as placed your head on his chest as he planted a kiss on your head.

"It really isn't. That's why I'd like to make it up to you" you broke the hug to look up at him as a mischievous glint was sparkling in his eyes "how about we prank Sting?"

"I'd love to, but for now let's just watch a film and cuddle" you smiled at his idea as you had never pranked Sting before since you always prank others together.

"Anything for you, princess" that's how you spend the rest of your evening in each other's arms, with him reassuring you every once in a while that he loves you and that you should never change.

#fairy tail #fairy tail imagine #gray fullbuster #fairy tail imagines #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #fairy tail x reader #laxus dreyar #lucy heartifilla #natsu dragon slayer #fairy tail lucy #fairy tail gray #frosch #fairy tail jellal #fairy tail natsu #fairy tail icons #fairy tail headcanon #fairy tail one shot #rogue cheney x reader #rogue cheney imagines #rogue imagine #rogue cheney imagine #fairy tail rogue #rogue x reader #ft #ft x reader #ft imagine #ft imagines #ft rogue #sting dragon slayer

[reidyoulikeabook]

Invisible String

Ship: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid

Warnings: None, this is just fluff.

Word count: 3.2k

Summary: You and Spencer Reid don’t know it, but you’ve almost met quite a few times. What happens when you do?

A/N: This is potentially a bit on the wrong side of the cheesy line, but I was listening to invisible string by Taylor Swift and couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Pls bare in mind I’m from the UK and my only understanding of the US college system is from Google searches, so pls be forgiving of any misunderstandings about that.

November 6th, 2007

Dr. Spencer Reid. As you sat, thumbing through the article he’d written about the formation of ionic compounds in a chemical whose name you could not for the life of you spell or pronounce, you couldn’t help but resent the man.

Sure, the paper was very well-written and as cohesive as possible given the complex subject matter. But Dr. Spencer Reid, whoever he was, was the current source of your resentment at selecting chemistry to make up your science credit. Highlighting the name of a substance you’d have to look up later, you sighed. It was getting late but you had to hand in a critical summary of the paper on Friday.

It didn’t help that Dr. Reid was: a) a triple doctorate holder by the age of 22, or b) that your chemistry lecturer was none other than his old chemistry lecturer from Caltech and practically glowed with pride whenever he got to bring him up.

You chew on the end of your pen, having now distracted yourself from the notes. Not that you were particularly focused anyway.

In another life, maybe you’d have been a budding chemist who could describe an ionic lattice off rote. In this one, however, you’d just have to settle for slogging through the list of chemical processes and hoping you understood it well enough to please Dr. Reid’s biggest fan.

***

April 16th, 2008

Spencer hated flaking on commitments. It caused him a great deal of anxiety, the feeling of disappointing someone. He didn’t have much choice in this circumstance though.

Diana had taken ill over the last weekend. Nothing serious, some stomach bug or other. She’d become severely dehydated though, and had been hospitalised as a precautionary measure. Truth be told, he might not have gone if she hadn’t caught him on the phone. He was already feeling guilty for not having visited since Christmas. He wrote her letters everyday, yet still felt like he was neglecting his duties as a son. Rubbing his hands over his face, he lets out a deep sigh. Then takes out his laptop, to send another email.

Dear. Dr Abraham

I sincerely apologise again for my last minute cancellation. Excluding any unforeseen circumstances, myself and SSA Hotchner will be available to present the lecture on May 12th.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. Spencer Reid.

***

May 12th, 2008

Considering this was your third year on campus, you sure were bad at finding your way around. In your defence, they were doing maintenance in one of the main buildings, meaning that lectures got shuffled around and relocated. You probably had a higher change of attending the right lecture by accident than on purpose.

It doesn’t help that you’re running a little late this morning. You rush into Room 203. A lot of the seats are taken, you have to meander your way past quite a few people until you end up sat almost directly in the middle. Only moments before the lecture starts.

“I’m SSA Hotchner, and this is SSA Reid. We’re members of the BAU which is based at FBI quarters in Quantico. Today, we’ll be talking to you about profiling.”

This is not your forensic linguistics lecture.

Panic hits you, hot in your gut. Scanning the room anxiously, you suddenly become conscious that you’re drawing attention to yourself when you feel the eyes of the man who is not SSA Hotchner on you. Fuck.

There’s no way for you to escape now, not without disturbing half the lecture hall.

So you sit back in your seat, resigning yourself to sit awkwardly in the lecture you’re not supposed to be in and hoping nobody notices.

But then, it’s really interesting, actually. The work that Dr. Reid does sounds similar to work you’ve done in forensic linguistics, analysing patterns of speech and minor phrase formations that can give things away about the perpetrator. By the end of the seminar, you’re sat leaning forward. Enraptured by almost every word coming out of their mouths.

It seems to be the general mood: everyone is enamoured. People are clammering to speak to them at the end. After a brief inner battle, myou decide that you should talk to them too.

What’s the harm?

You’ve decided that you’ll speak to Dr. Reid, since he seems to share more of a field focus. However, as you’re heading down, you spot him. Dr Adams, your chemistry lecturer from last year. Oh shit, it’s that Dr. Reid.

Speaking to SSA Hotchner will just have to do instead.

----

“I’ve been majoring in forensic linguistics and criminal psychology,” You tell him, “Do you think ... I mean, I know it’s a pretty exclusive team to get on to. But is that the kind of thing that could maybe get me there one day?”

Hotchner nods, “Forensic linguistics is something that comes in very useful in the investigative aspects of cases. The FBI is always looking for new angles and perspectives, those are both good subjects to study if you were thinking of signing up to the academy.”

"Thank you, Agent Hotchner,” You say, suddenly a little bashful as you notice the queue of people lingering behind you, “That was a really interesting lecture. It’s definitely something I’ll think about.”

“You should talk to Dr. Reid if you have a particular interest in the linguistic aspect of profiling. He’s more specialised in that area than I am. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to discuss any research you’re conducting at the moment and suggest materials that might be helpful in furthering your understanding of the area.”

“Thank you,” You smile, and he nods at you again.

Stepping away from Agent Hotchner, you look to your right. Dr. Reid is still engaged deeply in conversation with Dr. Adams. You glance at your watch. There was time before your next class, you supposed, so you could wait. It couldn’t hurt to find out more, could it? It wasn‘t like you were getting your hopes up or anything.

It’s then that you feel a pair of arms around your waist, a familiar scent of cologne.

“Hey!” You whip around to see your boyfriend, grinning widely.

“Hey,” You reply, “How’d you find me?”

“I was walking past when I saw you talking to that FBI agent. Seriously, FBI?” He asks, with a disapproving quirk of his eyebrow, “You want to grab a coffee before Psych?”

You want to say no. But he’s got his hand on the small of your back, leading  you out of the room before you even get a chance to reply. You glance back over your shoulder, making eye contact with Dr. Reid for all of two seconds before you’re swept away.

“Seriously though babe, FBI?”

Unsurpisingly, you don’t mention your potential change in career path to him.

***

March 8th, 2009

“Come in,” Hotch calls. He looks up from the paperwork on his desk to see Spencer entering the room, clutching a report in his hand.

“That last case we were on. I was doing some more research, just for future reference about linguistic patterns. Have you read this?” He asks, sliding a copy of your paper across the desk.

Hotch gives it a cursary look over, nodding, “Yes. It’s interesting. She’s signed up as an NAT. I believe I actually spoke to her at one of our lectures last year.”

"Her work is really impressive for somebody whose only studied this at a master level.”

Hotch almost smiles, “Yes. That’s exactly why I’ve recommended to the bureau that she signs up for profiling classes. Her work shows a lot of promise. They’re sending over a copy of her completed thesis, if you’d like to read it.”

“Yeah, I’d like that, thank you,” Spencer says, struggling to conceal the smile playing on the corner of his lips.

“I’ll email it to you as soon as I receive it.”

Spencer nods, smiling properly to himself as he leaves the room. It wasn’t unusual, exactly, for him to share new research that was relevant to cases. It was important that they all kept themselves fresh and acquainted with new theories about the field. Hotch, however, didn’t miss the excited way Spencer had presented it to him. Talking about how impressive you were, as if to subtly hint. He thinks it’s quite typical, actually, that Spencer could take such an interest in someone he only knew via an essay.

Although Spencer’s response does get Hotch to send a follow-up email, inquiring about whether you’d agreed to the classes. If Spencer was this impressed with your work, it must be good.

***

June 1st, 2009

The Metro that morning is packed. It doesn’t help that you’ve not been living here long, and don’t exactly know the route from your flat to the station off by heart yet.

You'd also had to make a detour to the post office. Your, firmly ex, boyfriend had mailed over the last of your things. Really, it was good riddance. His hounding you about your choice in job had only worsened. The relationship had been hanging on by a thread long before you’d moved away last month. You were more than a little grateful that it was finally over, that you could draw a line under it all and focus on your career.

Unfortunately, that hadn’t stopped you having a little cry to yourself on the way over.

Rushing, you make it onto the Metro just as the doors are about to close, falling against the railing on the left side. You grip onto it for dear life.

On the other side of the carriage, Spencer notices someone hurrying for the train. He had been buried deep in the paper he's reading, but the bustle had pulled his attention. Your back is to him, and there’s a scarf at your feet. He wants to say something, to try and get your attention, but he can’t from where he is.

“Miss, I think you’ve dropped something,” The woman you’re standing in front of says, gesturing to the scarf pooled at your feet.

You meet her eyes, sniffling slightly, “Thank you.”

Spencer watches as you pick it up, back still to him. Crisis averted, he turns his attention back to what he's reading: the published copy of your thesis Hotch had emailed him last week.

***

September 2nd, 2009

"This is SSA ____, the newest member of our team. She’s recently graduated from the academy and has an excellent knowledge of linguistics that the bureau feels will be a great advantage to this team. She’s had her induction and now will be joining the team on a probationary basis. She’ll be spending a little time with each of you in between cases to make sure she forms well-rounded knowledge of all aspects of what we do.”

It’s a little overwhelming, having everybody’s eyes on you.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Emily is the first over, offering her hand for you to shake.

“You too, it’s really nice to meet all of you,” You say, shaking hands in turn with her, Morgan, Rossi, J.J, and Garcia.

“Hi,” Spencer calls from behind you.

You turn around to face him. You remember what Hotch had mentioned to you about him being a bit of a germaphobe, so you keep your hand by your side.

“Hi,” You say, “Dr. Reid, right?”

“You can call me Spencer,” He says, a little bashful, “I read your thesis, the study about you did about the construction of passive clauses as an indicator of guilt in adolescent offenders. It was fascinating.”

You feel yourself getting a little warm under his gaze, “Thank you. I'm surprised you’re even aware it existed.”

Hotch interrupts then, “Reid, do you want to sit with ____ while she goes over the case file? It’d be useful if you could go over how you’d go about constructing a linguistic profile.”

That’s how you end up spending much of your first day: with Spencer, huddled up over case files as he explains his profile-building process to you. Spencer’s an incredible teacher, you think. He explains his thought process without ever being condescending, leaving little gaps for you to answer.

You’re incredible, Spencer thinks. You seem to grasp exactly what he’s saying, filling in the gaps based on the clues that are actually in front of you, not letting yourself be guided too much by bias.

***

October 29th, 2009

Spencer loves everyone at the BAU. They’re all the family he never had, and he has relatively good friendships with all of them. Just, they aren’t quite the same as they are with you.

He struggles to put his finger on it, exactly. It’s a unique relationship. He shares very familial bonds with a lot of them: he and Morgan are brotherly, Rossi is fatherly, Garcia’s somewhat like an overexcited little sister.

The friendship he has with you is special. You always listen to him, even as he rambles on about inane things that anybody else would tell him to shut up about. In fact, sometimes about the exact things that they do tell him to shut up about. Just last week, he was rambling on about Star Trek when Morgan told him, not altogether unkindly, to “give it a rest, kid.”

“What was that you were saying?” You’d asked, sidling up to him, “I’ve never watched Star Trek but I thought the quote was beam me up Scotty.”

He’d looked at you, considering you for a moment, “You don’t have to-”

“I know. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know Spence. You think I’d ask for a 15 minute lecture on Star Trek if I wasn’t interested in it?”

A warm feeling flooded his chest. The look on your face was so genuine, and you’d perched on the edge of his desk as he gesticulated, getting deep into the lore and how the misconception had come about. He still didn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, until he got to the end of his spiel. And then you asked him a question. You asked him a question to make sure you understood what he was talking about. You were listening the whole time, and you genuinely cared about the point he was making.

It's then that he realises, it was hard to pinpoint because it wasn’t friendship. He likes you. Shit.

***

November 2nd, 2009

You like everybody at the BAU. They’re all quite patient with you, really, happy to walk you through how they do things. Morgan’s taught you quite a bit about the tactical side of things already, and Rossi has been working with you on your interrogation techniques. Emily’s generally just a great mentor, always happy to listen and support however she can. She’s more experienced, but still relatively new to the team too, so you feel like there’s a certain understanding between you.

However, you’d definitely be lying if you said the person you hadn’t learnt the most from, or spent the most time with, was Spencer.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the team, either. You seemed to gravitate towards one another, forever sitting side-by-side on the plane. Sharing a line of thinking that usually led to devolved rambling, and scribbling, until you came up with something coherent.

It isn’t until November 2nd that you realise you have feelings for him.

You’re sitting at your desk, filling out a case report that Emily had promised to go over with you before she left for lunch.

“Hey,” Spencer’s familiar soothing voice comes, as he sidles up to you, “I got you something.”

Looking up, you notice the coffee cup in his right hand, “You are my caffeine lifesaver.”

He hands it to you, smiling a little nervously, “It’s actually not that.”

“Oh?”

His other hand is tucked behind his back, and he pulls it foward towards you, brandishing a red sweatshirt.

“I know you uh, left your red sweater behind at the hotel on the last case. And I know it was your favourite one, and I was shopping yesterday and I saw this and...” He trails off, embarassed, “It’s not the exact same, but it’s the same kind. I just thought you might like it.”

You swallow, hard, “Spencer that’s so sweet. C-Can I hug you?”

He nods. Standing up from your desk, you wrap your arms around his frame.

“That was so thoughtful.”

He squeezes you a little, really leaning into the hug, his face pressing against your shoulder. His tousled hair tickles your nose a little and you smile, clinging onto him, relishing in the feeling of safety and warmth.

It hits you then. When you realise you don’t want to let go. When you realise he makes you feel fuzzy. Loved. Cared for in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. Eventually, you have to let him go, and it’s in a daze that you return to your desk. You’re so concentrated on your overwhelming realisation, you don’t realise how reluctant he is to let you leave his embrace.

***

December 22nd, 2009

Driving Spencer home from the office was really just an excuse to get some time alone with him. You’d said something about the Metro being busy, one of the services being cancelled. He hadn’t factchecked you on that.

The BAU had tentative plans for boxing day, with the caveat being that no emergent cases arrived in the meantime. It was only really four days you wouldn’t see him, but that was longer than you’d ever gone without seeing him in all the time you’d known him. You worked together everyday, and it was unusual for you to go a full weekend without seeing each other. Recently, you’d got into the habit of going out for Sunday brunch together.

Pulling up outside his house, you hear him sigh.

“I know it’s only four days, but I’ll miss you.”

Smiling, you turn to him, “I’ll miss you too.” 

Something in you changes then. He’s looking at you. You may be relatively new to profiling but you can see something behind his eyes, feel the charge of unsaid words electrifying the air.

“Can I hug you?” He asks.

“You can always hug me,” You reply, undoing your seatbelt and opening your arms for him.

He embraces you the way he always has: tightly. Like he doesn’t want to let go, couldn’t imagine ever letting you go. His face nuzzles to the crook of your neck, and then you feel his thumb brush your chin. Tilting your head down.

You exchange a look. His eyes flicker from your eyes, to your lips, and back. You nod your head, just slightly.

He kisses you then. Tender. You melt into one another, lips moving quickly as you drink one another in. Kissing each other breathless, your fingers intertwine in his hair and his hand comes up to cup your cheek. Nothing has ever felt so right.

***

June 10th, 2011

Neither of you have ever really believed in fate. It’s hard to - especially in your line of work - to want to interpret the workings of the universe as deliberate. Maybe you’d think a little differently though, if you knew about all the near-misses. All the times you could have met. But fate knew better. She waited until you were ready.

And as you exchange vows, promising each other your forever, you both know you couldn’t possibly deny that this was meant to be.

------

Taglists: @takeyourleap-of-faith @sassiest-politician

(let me know if you would like to be added to/removed from this list!)

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #imagine spencer reid #criminal minds x you #imagine criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagines #pls like this it took me so long

[animeyanderelover]

Hello again! Can I have prompt 46 with Ash? Tnx

Recently I told my friend that I had a lot of requests about him and she laughed about it. She doesn't really like him, but she gives him credit since he looks good.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, extreme paranoia, isolation, desperation, mentions of kidnapping,overprotectiveness, mentions of self-harm, Stockholm syndrome

Prompt 46: "Can I...can I kiss you?"

It was nothing less than a miracle that someone like you existed, someone who was cleansed from all the sins of this world and the corruption of humans. You were radiating with everything Ash had wanted for this world, a world that he wanted to give to you. It was the minimum from what she should and would do for you, it was his duty as your very own guardian angel. A role he was utterly dedicated too, devoted to his very own angel who forgave him his sins every time.

It was true, you had forgiven him his crimes already a long time ago as everything around you had started to fade away and you had lost count of how long exactly you had been stuck in here. Somewhere around one and a half years would be your expectation, looking on how the seasons had changed through the large and closed windows which symbolized your loss of freedom. But you didn't mind anymore.

You only needed and wanted Ash, your guardian angel.

There was clear tension in his body, you could feel how he stiffened up under your embrace. He had never really received that sort of affection before from anyone nor would he have ever wanted it from all those worthless lives walking around freely. You were the only person he actually wanted any sort of touches from. That was how pure you were, even causing someone like him craving something and falling victim to his own desires. And it was his own fault for being so weak-minded. He didn't deserve you yet letting you perish outside would be an even greater sin. He had to keep you safe.

"My Queen...what are you doing?"

Being able to keep his composure was important in front of you, though he remembered to have failed multiple times in the past already. Severe punishment was the only thing he could think of to atone for his failures for not being good enough, for proving himself to be so incredibly useless. Even now he could feel some unhealed wounds aching a bit, but you didn't have to know about his weakness and incompetence.

You blinked slightly confused up at him when he asked you such an obvious question, but it soon turned into slight giggling that instantly plunged Ash's heart into painfully warm emotions and forced his eyes to get wet. It had taken a while until you had been able to look so happy after he had quickly rescued you from all the evil waiting to devour you. The distress he had felt back then could never be put in words and no burns, knifes and broken bones had been able to make up for what you had been suffering under. Even now it remained as a anxiety deeply stuck in his heart. But looking at you now, smiling at him and not staring with wide eyes filled with fear at him, was worth much more than his whole life could ever repay you.

"I’m hugging you. It’s just that you always look so worried and stressed over my safety and never appear to take a rest. Just now you did as well so I thought this might help you a bit. A strong hug can be more worth than thousand words after all. That’s what my mother told me at least when I was younger.”, you replied softly, pressing your face deeper into his chest with a content look on your face.

There was nothing Ash could think of for a few moments, instead he seared the scene in front of him deep into his brain, how you were currently buried into his chest, looking so happy and peaceful. So stunning and precious.

Tears were quick to escape his eyes only seconds later, his insides stirring up with warmth that stung him and yet baked him with something he hadn’t felt in so long. Comfort and peace.

This was exactly why he had to protect you with his very own life, no one was allowed to snuff out the light you carried inside of you and that was able to even share it’s warmth with him. You possessed too much kindness to understand, but normal humans only destroyed what they touched, ruining it with their greed.

He wouldn’t let them do the same to you.

He would kill everyone who would even do as much as getting too close.

He just had to guarantee that you would live.

But first of all he had to calm himself down or otherwise he might worry you even more than he seemed to have done already. The tears were quickly wiped away with his sleeves before Ash was able to look at you again, still feeling like he wanted to continue crying. His heart felt like it might burst at any moment.

“You have so much warmth and love inside of you that I don’t think I deserve any of it. You shouldn’t even be concerned about me, I merely do what I have to do as your guardian. If you were to fall victim to this damned place, I would perish as well. What use is an angel who can’t even protect their chosen one?”

Pain was twisting his voice and face a bit when he dared to imagine how a world without you would be, a world filled with grief and darkness for him. Letting his guard down would be a fatal mistake, he had seen the worst of this world and the humans and he knew that it would happen again. That was why he had to be like this for you were his heart beating outside his chest. If something were to ever happen to you...

The angel hadn't even noticed that he had already started crying again, fist tightened and body shaking whilst getting lost in fears of losing the one good and bright thing this world had still left.

"But for me you're more than just a guardian angel. You're my angel and I want you to feel happy as well. I want you to feel loved as well. You do so much for me, but I feel like I only cause you stress and uneasiness. Shouldn't you be happy because of me?", you asked him in slight protest, feeling sadness whilst seeing the man you had come to love like this again because of you. You had never seen him truly relaxed nor had you ever been able to show him your feelings. He wouldn't let you, not thinking that he deserved you.

His reaction was instant, suddenly falling on his knees upon hearing from what you had said that he had disappointed you yet again, the visible look of your sorrow only stabbing his fear deeper into his very soul.

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't know that you felt this way only because I was so selfish to only think about myself like this! I don't deserve your forgiveness and accept any sort of-"

When he felt the soft sensation of your hands cupping his stained cheeks, he abruptly stopped his rambling, trying to not choke on his own breath that had gotten irregular.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't want to hear you saying such things about yourself. Don't you understand? I am unhappy whenever you are like this, seeing yourself as so worthless and not deserving of my love. That's what hurts me so much. You're rejecting my feelings. I love you, Ash. And I want to know if you do too. Because if you do, please stop talking like this and behave so distantly."

Your voice conveyed every bit emotion that was going on inside of you in that moment, something that Ash noticed with widened eyes as well.

Silence was cut short by him when he realized that you wanted something crucial from him which he would gladly give you. He had never considered that you would ever consider his love as something you wanted, consider him as someone you loved. When had been the last time someone had been truly kind to him and loved him? He couldn't remember anymore.

"Of course I do. You should never doubt my feelings for you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. It's impossible to function without you.", he managed to reply with a shaking voice as he grabbed both of your hands in his own.

"Then why are you acting like this? Everyone deserves someone who loves them. Without love it's a very painful life, isn't it? That's why I am hurting as well. Let me love you and I promise that you'll be able to feel peace as well.", you muttered slightly embarrassed out, leaning your head down so your forehead could rest against his own.

Slight sobs were starting to catch up to Ash as he was staring in pure awe at you.

"Thank you. I'll be better and make sure that I won't cause you sadness anymore.", he pressed out, tightening his grip on your hands only the slightest bit so he wouldn't hurt you.

"I'm glad to hear that.", you replied with a sincere smile on your face, joy stirring your heart up just by seeing that for the first time since he had abducted you, Ash was looking relieved and less tense. He just looked extremely grateful.

"May I ask you for a favor then?", you requested with a certain idea in mind.

"I'll do anything for you.", Ash replied, sounding very emotional.

"I want to do something for you for once since you normally do anything for me."

Hesitation and clear dislike instantly shadowed his face, the thought of him asking something from you going against Ash's belief in all the wrong ways. You shouldn't have to do him favors.

"It doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be a really simple thing. Just...something that I can do for you this once. Please.", you begged slightly, seeing the angel already struggling. You knew how he felt about such things, he hated letting you do something for him and he had never done it before either. Ash saw it only upon himself to serve you which was another thing that sometimes made you feel guilty. You wanted to do more for him as well.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

Maybe that had been more a slip of his tongue, but he had been slightly panicking since hadn't want to sadden you again nor had he wanted you to do physical work for him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

So when he had stared for a moment at your face, eyes locked on your lips, he had considered somewhere deep in his mind possibilities which he had been fantasizing about a few times before, but hadn't thought that they would actually have a change of happening.

In his opinion they were still sinful, it would take a while for him to get used to the idea that you wanted to receive physical affection and love from him. The first impulse when he realized what he had said was instantly apologizing, only to be interrupted before he could even start saying anything.

You had already leaned down to fulfill him his wish before he could take it back again.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere ash #yandere ash landers

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

romeo must die

this one-shot is based on the song Romeo Must Die by Gabrielle Aplin, I highly recommend listening to it! shout out to @eugeniaslongsword for introducing me to it :) i even borrowed some lyrics from it haha. it is also inspired by the entire playlist I made, "being treated badly by someone doesn't make you love them more"

content warnings: past toxic/unhealthy relationship, the uncomfy 6-year age gap between Alastair and Charles

Masterlist | Read on AO3

"Alastair, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

Alastair looked up from what he was working on. He was in the library of the Institute, along with Cordelia, Thomas, James, Matthew, and Christopher. They were searching for any clue as to how Lucie had done what she’d done or what Tatiana and Belial were planning. Alastair wasn't entirely sure how he got roped into the ordeal, but it seemed as though Thomas suggested him as an extra set of eyes, and Cordelia latched onto the idea.

"No," he said curtly, returning to his reading.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. I'm quite busy at the moment." Alastair spoke under his breath, not wanting to draw the others' attention. How many times had Charles barked the same words at him, swatting him away, hacking away at paperwork or planning his next step in his career? The words sat bittersweet in his chest.

"Surely you could spare a few moments."

"I certainly could. But I do not wish to." Charles had a way of getting into his head and twisting his words and his feelings. It was not an experience he wished to revisit. It was better here, with an audience. It had also been easier in the infirmary, knowing that he held all of the power. His father had made him feel the same way, he thought bitterly. He understood now that what he'd done at school was not only to protect himself from the bullies. He wanted to reclaim the power stolen from him by his father; he wanted for once in his life to hold power himself. He hadn't yet come to the realization that holding that kind of power did nothing but harm. It was of no use, anyways, because it didn't matter how much he perfected his tongue and his wit on the other students at the Academy, he was never able to use it when it counted. Not with Elias, and not with Charles.

"It's fine if you need to take a few minutes, Alastair,” Cordelia said gently. All of the eyes in the room had come to rest on the two of them. Now he wished he’d spoken louder.

“It’s alright, Charles was just leaving.”

He had hoped that Charles would give up and leave knowing that everyone was watching him, but he was determined. He grabbed Alastair’s arm. “It’ll just be-”

Alastair stood, but pulled his arm away. “Don’t touch me.”

In a flicker, Alastair saw it: the anxiety began to set in. Charles began to realize that he would not be able to play his usual tricks. “Why are you acting like this?”

“I believe I was quite clear when I told you I don’t wish to speak with you. You’re the one who can’t let this go.”

“Must you act so childish?”

He rolled his eyes. “Must you always call me childish for thinking for myself instead of catering to your every whim?”

“I don’t understand. You said we were fine.”

Alastair sighed. Perhaps for a moment, he thought that was true. For just a second, he thought there was a world where he and Charles could be friends. But Alastair had decided that he would no longer call people who hurt him his friends. “Yes, well, I lied. I wanted to let you down gently, but it’s clear to me now that it must be spelled out for you. How shall I put this? You and I are past our dancing days, Charles.”

“But-” He stammered, searching for words. “What happened with Grace Blackthorn wasn’t my fault.”

“Maybe not. But what of Miss Bridgestock? Am I to pretend that what happened with Miss Blackthorn was not the same as what happened two years earlier?”

“You told me many times that you took no issue with that, that you understood.”

“I understood what you told me, which we both know was never the full truth. I was a sixteen year old desperate for your affections, and the fact that you truly believe I never had any issue with your arrangement is proof that you never genuinely cared about me or listened to my thoughts. I told you in the infirmary that this wasn’t your fault because I thought it’d ease the pain, but I lied. And I don’t have time to sit here and watch you cry over it.”

Alastair wished that watching Charles become flustered would have been more enjoyable. Instead, all he wanted was for this to end. “You- you’re different than when we met. You’ve changed. You’re cruel and callous, I don’t understand how I could not see how heartless you were until now. You are everything that everyone claims you to be. How am I to even know what the truth is when it comes from your lips?”

There was a time when those words would have cut deeply into him, eating at his every insecurity, but Charles mistakenly assumed that Alastair was the same person he was last July, with the same insecurities. “When we met, I was fourteen years old. I’ve grown up, and it is time for you to do the same. It’s been six months, Charles. You need to stop writing me. If that makes me heartless, I don’t care. And if you wish to know the truth, the truth is that the moment you leave here, if I never see your face again, it still will not be long enough.”

Charles stared at him for a long while, unable to find a proper retort. In the end, it was Matthew who stepped in. “Charles, I believe it’s time for you to go.”

He obliged, finally turning to leave the library. As he began to walk away, however, Alastair knew that he was not finished. His heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of such a confession, and faster again when he realized who would hear it, but there was no piece of parting with Charles that he wished to regret.

“Wait,” he said. Charles froze and turned to look at him. “I know it’s unlikely that you have it in the cold depths of your soul to care, but let the record show that I would have given you everything. I would have given you my life, all of the love and trust that I had to give, and then I would have given more. And you gave me nothing. So the next time you’re pondering my heartlessness, you ought to wonder what that means for you.”

Finally satisfied, Alastair did not wait for Charles to turn and leave again to return to his seat and pick his reading back up. He waited for a moment, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him. He stood once more, opening his mouth to speak, but the words were caught in his throat. Instead, he walked out of the library in silence.

Finding the nearest balcony, he attempted to steady his breath.

“Are you alright?” He heard from behind him. Thomas. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He shook his head. “I just needed some air.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Alastair sighed. He backed up against the window and slid down to the floor of the balcony. “I know- I know that everyone sort of knew already, but… by the Angel, I feel so pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Thomas told him, sitting down beside him.

“You were right, of course you were. I was so… taken with him, back in Paris. I couldn’t see him for what he was. I was so naive, so foolish. I just- After everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve been through, how did I not realize-”

Thomas put his hand on Alastair’s knee. “You wanted to see the best in him. After everything you’d seen and been through, you wanted to believe that there were still good and honest people in the world. And there are. I’m sorry that he was not one of them, but that does not make you foolish or pathetic. It makes you… kind.”

“I bet you’d never imagined describing me as such before.”

“It seems you’re full of surprises,” Thomas teased. “But that’s not true. I always saw the kindness in you, even back at school, when you did everything to keep it hidden.”

“As you can see, my ‘kindness’ has never gotten me very far.”

“You were out of practice. Following me on my reckless nighttime patrols, that was kind. More than kind. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that, for risking your life to protect mine.”

“I didn’t do it for gratitude.”

“And yet I owe you mine nonetheless.”

“I can’t go back in there, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tolerate you and your friends hating me just fine. But if any of your friends give me even an ounce of pity- well, we’ll see just where the limits of my kindness lie, won’t we?”

Thomas stood up, offering Alastair his hand. “Pity comes from those who cannot even begin to understand what you’ve experienced. For what it’s worth, I don’t think my friends will pity you. But if they do, you can ignore them. For Lucie.”

Alastair sighed and allowed Thomas to pull him to his feet. “Fine. Let’s get back to reading.”

“Speaking of reading, do you have the entirety of Shakespeare’s canon memorized, or only the lines you believe may pop up in conversation?”

“Excuse me?”

“‘For you and I are past our dancing days,’ it’s Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it? It’s the only one of his works that I got through.”

Alastair froze. “You haven’t read Hamlet?”

“I tried.”

“Othello? King Lear? Macbeth? Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

He shook his head.

“That’s impossible. And James is friends with you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Wait until my sister finds out you haven’t read Hamlet,” he warned, starting towards the library with urgency in his step.

“Wait, don’t- I just don’t like Shakespeare! What’s so wrong with that?” Thomas’ attempts at reasoning were futile, however, a welcome distraction from all of their recent sorrows finally taking hold.

Thanks for reading!! This was self indulgent af lol. I'm not to sure whether some people only wanted to be tagged in my social media AU, so if that's the case I'm sorry & please tell me!: @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @thecodexsays @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @icouldnotask @shadowhunting-hooligans @melanielocke @clarys-heosphoros @kiwichaeng @lightwoodsimp @thecrimsonsorceresss @theenchanteddreamer @adams-left-hand @yozinha-z @ipromiseiwillwrite @skirtsandsweaters @goodoldfashionednerd

#alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #if you're a charles apologist just block me #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #cw toxic relationship #coi spoilers #fanfiction #fanfic

[purplespaceace]

there are a lot of things to address when it comes to writing depression. the two things that I think bother me the most is the romanticisation of depression and the fact that I have yet to come across any girl characters with depression (I listened to dear evan hansen and went, “there are two people with depression/suicidal tendencies. logically, one of them should be a woman” but both of them are boys). so, how do you write depression?

first, you have to accept that it’s not going to be pretty. depression sucks. your character won’t want to shower, brush their teeth or their hair, put on deodorant, or do any other hygienic things you can think of. your character will be smelly, their room will be dirty, they won’t care enough to eat, they’ll have bags under their eyes from lack of sleep. again, depression isn’t pretty.

to be honest, I don’t really have a good way to organize this post, so it will mostly just be a list of symptom and tips, as well as a few things to avoid.

symptom time! people with depression will:

not clean themselves, whether that means brushing their teeth, taking a shower, or something else

not take care of themselves. they won’t eat a lot, which might make them unhealthily skinny, although sometimes we eat a ton out of boredom, or I’m just so tired I need some snack food. we either sleep too much or too little. we won’t change our clothes. we dont drink a ton of water.

we have something in common with people with adhd: executive dysfunction! (aka the suckiest thing) executive dysfunction means we will want to do something or know we should do something, but won’t be able to for hours. this leads to people calling us lazy, which leads to our next thing.

we have horrible self-esteem. your character does not think that they are worth much, if anything. they start every sentence with “I might be wrong” because they have been wrong, a lot, and they believe by default that they are more likely to be wrong than right. this can also lead to or is the result of anxiety, whether high-functioning or not.

we aren’t just sad all the time. for one thing, you might not notice because we’re used to keeping a happy face. for another, sometimes we’re just stuck with incredible apathy. and we can be happy sometimes.

we also shouldn’t cry constantly. in the earlier stages of depression—the first, I dunno, month maybe, people can cry themselves to sleep every so often, but after that you get so used to it and so out of tears and ability to care you just don’t cry randomly anymore.

also, we’re tired aaaall the time. I’m exhausted from being in pain and convincing myself I have a right to exist constantly.

we've lost interest in the things we like. it takes a lot of effort for me to care about things when I’m having an episode.

sometimes I just wake up with a bad, “nothing is worth the pain” feeling in my stomach, which sucks.

some days will be worse then others. sometimes, your character can seem like they don’t even have depression. the next day, they can be a mess.

we can find it hard to pay attention because we just don’t care.

we have bad memories. I don’t remember why. but we won’t remember things that happened in a depressive episode very well.

we can spend whole days sitting on the couch watching television.

doing things should be a struggle! getting out of bed! making breakfast! doing things is difficult!

we think about death a lot. not just suicide.

some miscellaneous tips:

think about how your character‘s mindset is impacted by their depression. I check in on my friends, work to make my days meaningful, and try to make sure people feel safe to be themselves around me. someone else I know values life less because of her depression. what does your character learn? how does it impact them?

make sure their depression is visible. don't mention it once and then have it disappear.

what not to do:

don’t make your character‘s love interest or big epiphany cure their depression.

don‘t make your character’s friends or family complain about their depression or see it as a nuisance unless it’s there for a purpose.

end the ‘suffering artist’ trope. please.

personally, as someone with depression, I don’t want any more stories where we successfully commit suicide or we‘re right about ourselves being bad human beings. I love dear evan Hansen, but the fact that connor’s depression was right about him was something that made me question whether my depression was right about me. the kinds of stories about depression I want to see should be hopeful ones, that reinforce the idea that whatever your depression is trying to convince you of isn’t true. in the story I’m writing currently, my character, katie, tries to commit suicide, but her best friend saves her by convincing her that herself and love are worth fighting for.

self-harm scars aren’t cool or gritty or emo. they shouldn’t be looked upon with awe, but pity.

depressed characters should want to go to therapy. no one wants to be in pain all the time.

that said, we might have second thoughts about therapy because we don’t think we deserve it. we believe we should be in pain. however, we do not believe that therapy is useless or we don’t need it.

if you have any questions or see anything I’ve missed, let me know!

this post is randomly italicized/bolded for people with adhd.

#depression #mental illness #writing mental illness #writing depression #writing tips #writing resources #list #writing help

[itssuppertim3]

Lean (Miraak x Reader):

Contemplating on writing for Pyramid Head every once in a while since I can't get the thick bastard off my mind but we'll see what the future brings

---------------------------------------------

"Do you like winter, Miraak?" I asked the man strolling quietly beside me. "Not necessarily. However, I remember a time when I did. My temple always felt a bit warmer-- more enjoyable during that time." I snorted at him in amusement, to which he wasn't fond of. "I just imagined you stringing up holiday decor." He merely scoffed in denial, though we both knew it was true.

While searching for another conversation topic, my foot slid against the mud beneath me. "Careful," Miraak warned as his hands clasped firmly around my shoulders. My breath was trapped in my throat from the sudden startle, but somehow he only made it worse. Once my voice came back to me, I said, "uh...-- yeah. Thank you." Damn, his hands were so warm. I could feel the heat emitting from them even through my armor. Alas, the soothing feeling dissappeared as soon as he retracted his arms.

"Honestly, I'm surprised you hadn't already cracked your skull before I came along. It seems that you are always tripping and stumbling wherever you go." I scratched my cheek and chuckled sheepishly. "Ah, you know me so well."

"That is only because I stand witness to it," he uttered. We continued onward to Morthal in silence. A week ago, Jarl Idgrod sent me a letter of assistance; "potential murdurer on the loose," it had read. She noted that she wasn't one to fall victim to senseless gossip, but over the last several days she had been growing paranoid of the situation. Thus, she requested us to investigate. "I wonder why the jarl wants two dragonborn to take care of a killer instead of the guards? Gods, I feel like most of the soldiers are just using this pitiful war as an excuse to be lazy," I grumbled with my arms crossing.

"I agree. Though as far as I'm concerned, she wants you to handle it, not I." I perked up at his remark. "What do you mean? Everyone should know by now that you're just as powerful as I am. We've been traveling together for three months." Miraak diverted his gaze from me and pointed it straight ahead. "Perhaps, but you and I are still very different from one another. The people of Skyrim view you as a hero to be remembered for ages, whereas I will forever be remembered as a traitor-- if I was even remembered at all." The atmosphere around us suddenly became very dim. For a moment, the only noise that could be heard was the mire sloshing under our boots.

"That's bullshit," I retorted finally. Miraak was taken aback by my sudden change of attitude. "Excuse my language, but it is. Look at all of the good you've done since we've been together! We took down a vampire lord for crying out loud! And yeah, we weren't thanked for it or anything--"

"Y/n."

"But that doesn't matter. What does matter is that you put in a lot of effort to make the world safer, and I think that deserves respect."

"Y/n." By now, Miraak was no longer walking at my side. "What is it?" Before he was able to respond, the muddy ground had fallen loose beneath me and I plummeted into a brown socket of water. Oh yeah, I forgot that we were trudging through a swamp. The filth shot through my mouth and nose as I was completely sumberged. To make matters worse, the water was also incredibly frigid, making it even more difficult to sort through my panic. A pair of arms dove into the murk and proceeded to yank me up by my collar.

I gurgled, spluttered, and heaved strong breaths once I was dragged out of harm's way. Miraak shook his head at me all the while. I could practically feel the smirk hiding under his mask. "Oh, yeah. Real funny. Please continue... to remind me of how much... of a klutz I am," I rasped, still trying to flow air into my lungs. "I did try to warn you, you know. You were about to walk straight into the pond," the man defended. "Ok. I'll give you that." Miraak helped me to my feet after I finally regained my composure. "Oh, great," I sighed at the muck covering me head-to-toe. "I look so unprofessional." He skimmed over the grime coated over my outfit before scooping a clump of mud and smearing some over his robes. "I suppose we'll both have to look unprofessional, then." My cheeks tainted a dark pink at his actions, but I decided to blame it on the nip in the air.

My arms hugged my body when I started to shiver. Going for a dip in late autumn definitely wasn't the best of choices. Miraak scanned over the map and pinpointed our distance from Morthal. "We won't be able to arrive there before nightfall. We still have an hour left to go," he informed. I groaned to myself in reply. "Guess we'll have to make camp, then." He nodded, gesturing me to follow him.

In a matter of minutes, he had already secured a decent campfire and was now assembling the tent. Meanwhile, I was sitting on a nearby log with my bedroll enveloped around my trembling body. I was enjoying watching him, though. "I'd say you're a natural. When did you get so skilled at camping?" I inquired once he took a seat next to me. "By learning from you," he stated simply. Gods, how could he be such a jerk yet act so charming?! I avoided saying anything more and began scrubbing the dirt from my armor with a wet rag.

It was freezing, tonight. There was no comforting glow from the moon and stars due to the thick layer of clouds overhead, which only made it feel colder. I shuddered when a breeze travelled through the area and tormented my body. I was still wearing my undershirt and trousers, and even those were still damp. The cloth made my fingers sting the more I used it, until I felt Miraak's hand take ahold of my own. "Your fingers are red," were the only words that left his mouth before he grabbed my other hand and squeezed them both gently. I was so shocked by this that I couldn't even so much as blink. "Are you cold?" I had forgotten about the prickles climbing over my skin. "Um--uhh, kind of." How did my voice become so small?

Before I could protest, I was pulled closer to Miraak. And now that I left exposed, he felt even warmer than he did earlier. I wasn't even touching him! Not to mention how nice his hands felt. He was like a portable smelter! I stayed more silent than a moth as he continued to caress my fingers and palms. There was no telling what was going on inside of that brain of his.

"You may lean against me, if you like."

Oh.

Oh!

My heart was thrashing around inside of my chest. He wanted me to just... slide even closer and lean on him?! Just like that?! By now, my mind was spiraling in both confusion and embarrassment. Still, I was very cold. There wasn't any harm in doing it, right? He was the one who offered. I ultimately accepted his proposal.

It started off with our knees touching awkardly, and then with my head attempting to rest against his shoulder, which failed due to the golden scales protruding out from his sleeve and jabbing me in the side of the head. Miraak eventually lifted his arm, inviting me to scooch under it-- to which I did. As soon as I got situated, he let his hand ease onto my shoulder. I was so flustered that I could barely breathe. It was suffocating, practically unbearable, yet I only felt myself nestling further into him. "You're really warm," I mumbled.

Oh, dear.

Why on Nirn did I say that? I sounded like a pervert!!! What if he thought I was creepy?! My heart dropped as he held me still and turned to look at me. "Y/n, how do you feel?" It was made to be a question, but it sounded more of a demand. I sat tense for a long while, lips parted yet unmoving. "About...?" I gulped when he slowly placed my hand flat against his chest. I could feel his heart throbbing at a rapid pace, as was mine. "Me."

Miraak's voice was low and sounded on edge. Perhaps he was more nervous than I thought he was? My next movements were reckless. Recklessness seemed to be my only sense of courage, right now. I carefully drew his hand towards me and slipped off his glove. He didn't stop me, however his muscles twitched under my touch. I stared at his pale skin for a long while. It was decorated with veins and had a scar stretched over his knuckles. Thanks to the protection of his gloves, his fingernails were in prestine condition. In short, his hands were utterly glorious.

I tilted my face down and pressed my lips against his scar, leaving him breathless. "Does that answer your question?" I asked Miraak with a flushed grin. Without responding, he brushed his thumb over my cheek and felt the entirety of my features. His hand was so calloused and smoothe! I cupped my own against it, keeping it there for as long as possible. Once again, I was pulled into another embrace, this one being much tighter and affectionate. Neither of us decided to speak, and somehow it felt more befitting that way.

With my head resting against Miraak's chest, I could hear his heartbeat quite clearly. It was much slower compared to earlier, more soothing than anything. He wasn't very sure where to place his hands, so he kept one firm on my waist and the other rubbing my hair. Sure, my face was hotter than a bonfire and there was still panic fresh on my mind. Then again, I also felt so calm in his arms. This may have been the first time in my life where I actually felt normal. Everything around me simply fell into place. It was selfish of me to inwardly beg for this moment to never end. As a dragonborn, I had my responsibilites, but for now I kicked those responsibilities aside. I had the right to be selfish every now and then.

"Maybe I should go diving into swamps more often," I teased, breaking through the comfortbale silence. I felt my heart flutter in the midst of him vibrating a soft chuckle. "That would certainly be an entertaining idea. Though I might not get the same reaction from you each time." I peered up at my new love interest with a quirked brow. "What kind of reaction?" In one swift motion, Miraak nudged up his mask to his nose and blessed me with a kiss. It was quick and simple, hardly lingering over my lips in time for me to process it. It was as if I had just imagined it!

Even so, the blush stained on my cheeks was already spreading to my ears. This man was a complete menace. His mask was already tipped back down, but the coy smile he was holding was evident. "You bastard," I hissed. He only shrugged his shoulders at me. "If you fall into the swamp again, I may even give you another kiss," Miraak jested. I proceeded to whack his bicep.

------------------------

I bet Miraak got those plump ass lips :^3

#miraak #skyrim #elder scrolls #miraak x ldb #fdb #one shot #x reader #dragonborn dlc #tesblr #writeblr #dragon priest

[enchantedblackrose]

Like I Love You

Jay Halstead/Plus sized Reader

Summary: Jay arrives at your apartment to pick you up for a date, but you're filled with self doubt.

¡Warnings! This potentially could be triggering. Poor body image, possible body dysmorphia, specific mentions of feelings of not being enough because of physical appearance

<Please, please lmk if I need to add any warnings.>

Loosely inspired by One Direction's Little Things

Like I Love You 

Your head throbs as hot tears of frustration continue to fall from your eyes. 

It was absolutely ridiculous to be this upset trying to pick out a decent outfit. After all, you've been successfully dressing yourself since age three.

But you don't have the mindset of a toddler. You're a jaded young woman with society's disgusting definition of beauty constantly shoved in your face. 

Deep down you know better. You know that the numbers on the scale give no indication of your beauty nor do they dictate your worth.

Sighing and trying to remind yourself that you are pretty, you again glance in the full length mirror. Standing there in nothing more than a top and underwear, fresh tears immediately fill your eyes. You only see flaws. Resisting the urge to poke at the cellulite near your thighs, you focus on your shirt. But the sleeves are cutting into your arms making them look weird. No, not weird. Fat. The too tight sleeves cause your arms to bulge. And the material clings to your soft tummy. You pinch the excess belly fat between your thumbs and index fingers, wishing you could squeeze it away.

You feel so ugly and gross. Angrily you pull the shirt off and throw it clear across your bedroom, where it joins a pair of jeans you couldn't breathe in and numerous other offending articles of clothing. None of which you look good in either.

You find an oversize t-shirt and slip it on before you just collapse on that very spot of plush carpeting.

Tears still roll down your face. All you wanted was something cute to wear. To be pretty. And go out with your boyfriend for a date night. He's a detective for the Chicago police department. The hours are already long and sometimes abnormal, but this week he, and the rest of the special unit he's a part of,  were logging extra hours on a particular difficult case. You haven't seen much of each other recently so you were especially giddy when you received his text earlier in the day saying there had been a break in the case which meant he could swing by your place and take you out on a proper date. Your reply had been almost immediate, telling him how wonderful that sounded.

You were surprised to hear from him again, still promising to take you out, but proposing you both meet up with his coworkers after dinner for some drinks. He included "begging" and "puppy dog eyes" in the message. 

Though you wanted to, you couldn't exactly say no for several reasons. You had already agreed to the date, so he knew you were free. Part of you suspected that he had done it on purpose. You'd accuse your favorite detective of entrapment later. 

You also were fully aware how much Jay wanted to introduce you to the coworkers he considered friends, having been invited to go out with them several times before. You kept putting it off.

Not because you had no interest in meeting everyone. Rather, the idea fed your worst insecurities.

What if they don't think I'm good enough? They're going to wonder what he sees in me. Then Jay will start wondering too. 

Wanting to do this solely for Jay's benefit, believing he deserved this after the hellish week at work, you went to your bedroom to plan your outfit. That's how you ended up in this nightmare. You only want to look your best, like you belong with Jay.

Nothing in your closet said that though. The truth of the matter was no one like him should be with someone who looks like you.

Cries turn to sobs. You draw your knees to your chest, hugging them tightly.

You hear the door to your apartment unlock, Jay using his copy of your key to let himself in. Hastily, you wipe at your face, not wanting him to see you like this; yet you can't find the will to stand. A loud, nasally sniff escapes you.

"Babe?" His still unaware voice calls out from the hallway. "I got us reservations." You don't answer back right away and you hear his footsteps approach. 

Having found you, he stops in the doorway. "Whoa. What kind of nuclear clothing explosion happened here?" He indicates to the mounds of clothes which surround you and cover the better part of the carpet and bed. His laughter dies as soon as he sees your tear-streaked, puffy face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" his worry evident in both his voice and light eyes. He looks you up and down, frantically searching for any sign of what has you like this.

You mumble incoherently.

"What?"

"I don't have anything to wear."

"The floor begs to differ," he teases. You glare back, in no mood for jokes no matter how well intended. He holds up his hands signaling he meant no harm before he pulls you to your feet. "What's going on?" You huff a heavy sigh in reply. His hand caresses your cheek and softly "hmms?" at you encouragingly.

"Nothing fits right," you confess. He hesitates unsure how to respond, so you continue. "I look extra fat in everything."

Jay frowns. "I doubt that very much. You always look good. I love how you look dolled up when we go out and I love when you're in an old tee and sweats."

"That's nice of you to say-"

"Well I didn't say it to be nice. I said it because it's true," he cuts you off.

You give a tiny, weak smile. "I hate how I look." Your voice cracks. New tears sting your eyes.

He brushes the few teardrops that manage to escape with his thumb. "Baby, what are you talking about? You're beautiful." His voice is soft with a hint of sadness hearing you talk this way.

"This is not beautiful." You pat your flabby stomach, then your thighs. 

Carefully stepping to avoid the clothes which litter the floor, Jay makes his way to your bed and sits on the edge, still mindful of the garments piled there as well. He opens his arms, indicating for you to sit on his lap.

"My huge ass will probably crush you," you mutter.

"Baby-"

 

Exasperated you throw your arms up, "I look nothing like you!"

"Well I'm a guy and you're not so…"

"Stop. I mean you look like a freaking model. That face and those abs for days." You catch him looking smug, no doubt a witty remark is at his lips, but one glance at you and he leaves it unsaid. You continue. Your voice hushed, "I'm afraid of what people might think or say when they see us together. It's why I've been so reluctant to meet your friends."

His eyes sadden. He reaches for you, gently pulling you to his lap. When he speaks, his voice is soft, but stern, almost begging you to believe his words. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I honestly had no idea, but listen to me, please. The only people who get a say about our relationship are in this room right now, okay? So our opinions are the only ones that matter. You. Are. Beautiful." He pauses only to shush you when he sees your mouth open. "The way your mind works fascinates me. Your sense of humor is amazing. You continuously show compassion for others, which in this world is not always easy. I swear your goodness is innate. Your laugh is intoxicating. When you smile...I wish you could see how your face lights up and your body turns me on exactly how it is. I have never been attracted to anyone as much as I am to you. I love you."

Jay's words move you, but they're not enough to silence your insecurities. "Even though I don't have a thigh gap?"

His brows furrow. "I...don't know what that means."

"It means my thighs touch each other. They're not supposed to."

"Says who?"

"...society."

"Society's ugly, not you or your thighs." His fingers trace nondescript patterns on the bare skin in question. "Besides, thick thighs save lives."

"Jay!" You laugh despite yourself. He smiles in return and presses his lips to your temple.

"I love you too. You know that, right?" You ask, realizing you hadn't said it back and he nods. A hand intertwines with his as you look in his eyes, "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"You're not. We all have insecurities or things we don't like about ourselves. I just wish you weren't so hard on yourself. I'm sorry too if you felt I was putting pressure on you to meet everyone."

"Not at all," you shake your head. "That's just me being me."

"Still, if my friends have a problem with us being together for any reason, they're not the people I think they are. Truly though, they'd love you. Hell, if we didn't show up together I could see one of them hitting on you," Jay pauses if imagining it.  "But seriously. They'd adore you. First, because they're going to see firsthand how good you are for me. Then because you're you. Funny, smart-"

"But I want to be pretty, Jay. And look like we belong together."

Jay sighs, but not out of frustration with you. He's only concerned."You are. And we do. I know nothing I say is going to magically change how you see yourself...I get that. You have to be the one to work this out. I really wish you could see yourself through my eyes and love yourself like I love you. Maybe then you'd understand you're so worthy of self-love. I promise, I'm right here and I'm going to keep reminding you how beautiful you are in hopes you'll start to see it."

Your hand caresses his cheek as you fight the urge to cry again. He leans into your touch. "You do help," you tell him because it's true and to reassure him. "I'm so lucky to have you. I'm really going to try to not be so down on myself. Besides. I  really don't want to ruin any more of our nights."

He waves you off. "A night trying to get you to see your beauty is not ruined. And the night's still young. We'll do whatever you're up for. Go out for a bit. Stay in and order food. Whatever."

A small smile appears on your face. You quickly peck his lips with yours. "I just want to wash my face before we do anything." Jay nods. You slide off his lap and head to your bathroom across the hall.

The light flickers for a second as soon as you hit the switch. You go to the sink, turning the water on and letting it run to get to the perfect temperature. Standing there, you glance into the vanity mirror. Your face is still slightly puffy with a few soft pink splotches across your cheeks from all your crying. You splash the water on your face and repeat the action several more times before using a fluffy towel to pat dry your face. You stare back into the mirror. And smile. It reaches your eyes and illuminates your face. You reach a realization. However fleeting or permanent, you don't know. But right now in this moment, you feel it. 

You're pretty.

-

#jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x you #plus size reader #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine

[extremelyblackandwhite]

tolerate it

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x reader

warnings: violence, harassing

a/n: at this point do i know how many parts this is gonna have? no i’m expecting there to be at least two more, who knows tbh. this part was originally supposed to be champagne problems but i decided to change it to tolerate it and champagne problems will MOST LIKELY be the next one followed by tis the damn season. “tolerate it” the song is from bucky’s point of view and not y/n.

INIVISIBLE STRINGS - CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

If it's all in my head tell me now, tell me I've got it wrong somehow ...

     - We need to talk. - her father stood in front of the door, his police hat hanging from his head. - The chief wants to put someone else on the field. 

     - Why? - her stomach dropped and she felt sick. Why did she felt sick? Someone else on the field would make her job easier, safer. But her job wasn’t dangerous or it hadn’t been dangerous so far. Bucky hadn’t been rude, harmful or anything of the sort. He’d protect her even and cared for her his own way. Last thing she needed was one of her father’s colleagues following her around as if she were a child. She had gotten the name of his enemy ... although she had little to no will of revelling it. 

     - Catherine’s son. You remember him. He’s fresh out of the police academy and you two used to be great friends when you were kids. Already got some info on the mob upstate and he could help speed things up.

    - Edward was an asshole and the reason why he got info on the mob upstate was because he stole it from his partner. - she crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn’t the best undercover agent in the world, maybe because she wasn’t an agent at all but it had been their choice to put her alone on the field. A second person would only mean that any slip from them would lead to her getting offed. At least if she was alone, she could blame herself for any harm that came her way.  - Shouldn’t I have been consulted when you made that decision?

     - You’re not part of the force, Y/N. Besides, the sooner this is over, the sooner you can return to your life. What are you wearing anyway?

     - I ...

     - Y/N, thank god you’re home. - Wanda rushed into the living room, crying. Her senses were immediately heightened and the fact her father held no confidence in her whatsover no longer mattered. Wanda did. - Patrick broke up with me.

    - Patrick? - who the hell was Patrick? She remembered Johan and to some extent Ben could be considered an ex-boyfriend but Patrick? Who the heck was he? Before she could question her about it, Wanda was already hugging her side, forehead pressed against her covered. 

   - Well, I see you’re busy. I’ll speak with you later, Y/N. - her eyes remained on the ground as the sound of his heavy uniform boots registered past her, opening the once closed door and returning it with a closed bang to its latches. The defeating sound of silence haunted both of them as Wanda stepped away, cleaning the tears of her cheeks.

   - I was seeing he’d never leave. You’re lucky you have a very good actress for a friend.

  - Thank you, Wanda. I’m sorry I’m this late. - she pulled Bucky’s jacket which was still laying atop her shoulders. - So, is Patrick a fake person?

  - Don’t change the subject. Whose jacket is that? I called the bar and they said you weren’t there. I was worried, Y/N!

    - I was with Mr. Barnes. - she held the jacket against her chest, the scent of his expensive cologne somehow calming her down. Wanda was right to scold her, she wasn’t thinking straight or safe but yet again she didn’t feel in danger when he was near her so why did it matter?

It clearly mattered to Wanda. She knew danger and she knew what they were capable off, being herself a fan of true crime. Last thing she wanted was for Y/N to suffer an accident or suddenly have an overdose or go into alcohol coma. Yet Y/N couldn’t help but stream into the unknown that was so addictive, the warm blanket of safety that he gave her. She was dumb enough to have gotten into the job so she would see it through. 

The brunette of course knew why she was so sweet on this safety. She had known Y/N since the two were babies and there was no lie or hiding when she was intrigued by someone. It had happened two times in her whole life - with Chris when she was 5 and with Joshua when she was 18. There was this twinkle in her eye, that walk of pure calmness as if there was no problem in life. This, this definitely was another time that Wanda would even regret seeing or love to talk about during ringing bells’ celebrations. 

   - You’re a smart girl, please tell me you know the game you’re playing.

   - I do. - she walked out without any more words. She knew if they were to come out she would merely wound herself and what was the use in wounding herself and holding the mirror of truth up to her face if not to drown in her own sea of insecurities?

She sat on her own bed, swallowed by the covers and blankets, shoes thrown aside and earrings in her hands. What was she doing? What was she feeling? Was it even a good idea to think about what she was feeling or even put it into thoughts? No, it wasn’t because a deep and dark part of her knew what it was and the one who wanted to do good, the one who always did good, perfect A’s, perfect assignments refuse to look at. It was best to sleep, nothing good would come out of her if she were tired and so she decided to sleep. 

Morning came like a bad memory and she was up and at those classroom halls in what seemed like minutes. Things went by slowly and she found herself falling asleep on the top of her hand more than usual and she probably would’ve slept throughout her whole anatomy lesson had it not been for the girls sat on the row above her chatting in a very annoying tone. Usually Y/N would’ve just ignored it and razor focus on the lecturer but today all she wanted was to do was to ignore what he was saying. She found herself eavesdropping on their conversation; apparently there had been some confusion on the city centre deriving to some violence which also in a regular day wouldn’t have caught her attention had it not been for the mention of the mob. Her senses perked up and she started tapping her foot against the hardwood of the ground until the clock finally hit finishing time and she was out of the classroom in a rush.

Y/N held the books tight against her chest as she ran down the street, wind penetrating through the knitting holes of her cardigan as shivering her skin as she continued to run on loose and broken cobblestones not exactly knowing why and where she was running to. Well, she knew where to, she just thought better to tell herself she knew where not to. 

The unlit lights of the bar/club came into view and she rushed through the door and straight to the back and to the door she was told never to open. Her hand grasped the handle and pushed it open hoping to not see it empty.

    - What the ... - Mr. Barnes turned around on his chair, expecting to yell at whomever of him clumsy workers had walked in without the decency of knocking only to see his own clumsy bartender. - Looking for tutoring, petal?

    - What? - she questioned before looking at the books she was holding. - Oh, no I was just ... I heard, I saw ...

    - Good that means your ears and eyes work properly. 

    - I heard there was a commotion in the centre and that the mob was involved and I ...

   - You thought to check on me? - he gave her a toothy grin, hands placed on his desk as he rose from his chair. - I’m flattered, petal. 

   - No, I ... I ... - she looked down at her shoes, feeling his presence as he approached her. - I thought my shift would’ve been cancelled if you or anyone else had been harmed. 

   - No. - he hooked a finger under her chin, gently pushing it upwards. - I’m afraid you’ll still have to work. 

   - Ahh ... good. - she felt her mouth dry up as she stared at him. No, you can’t do this anymore, Y/N. You’ve been compromised, go away, give up, quit, say you don’t want to work here anymore. - I have to tell you something.

No, shit. Don’t blow your own cover, what are you doing? Her inner voice yelled at her.

   - I’m all ears.

   - I ... - she was parched, world spinning around yet for some unholy reason she was gonna come clean and maybe eventually end tied to bricks at the end of the river. Why was she coming clean? What are you doing, Y/N? - I’m ...

   - Mr. Barnes? - a third voice shattered everything, making both the mob boss and the bartender look to the owner of said third voice. Edward. - Oh, hey Y/N, I didn’t know you worked here.

   - You know each other? - James’ hands were immediately on his pockets as he took a step in front of the bartender. Had she not known any better, she would’ve assumed it was a protective stance. 

   - We used to date each other back in prep school. 

The answer knocked the two of them back. Y/N mostly because she would never in a million years dated someone like Edward as one he was the son of one of her father’s ex-girlfriend and two she barely could stand him. James, on the other hand, seemingly couldn’t see his bartender, his very clumsy bartender who enjoyed to pretend to be Betty Draper on auctions, dating the newest bar’s cleaning boy, one whom he particularly disliked. 

   - I see. Well, you ought to know I don’t accept work relationships. If that’s all, I was having a conversation with Y/N. 

   - No, it’s fine Mr. Barnes. I need to speak with Edward myself. - she punctuated the last word as if it spewed poison. Bucky looked at her, hands in fists as she walked out with the cleaning boy by the hand as if she herself hand a place in the mob herself. 

She wanted to throw him to the floor once they were out of sight and had it not been for the fact he was taller and physically stronger than her so instead she shoved him against one of the walls.

    - What the hell, Edward? Your ex-girlfriend?! - she whispered-shouted at him.

    - It’s a reason for us to be close so instantly. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.

    - Stay the fuck away from me and don’t you talk to me. - she pointed at him before storming out but not before realising she had left her books, her library borrowed books, on Mr. Barnes’ office.

She turned around out of anger, not really knowing what she was mad about. It wasn’t like she was expecting her father to pay any homage to her wishes of not having Edward around. It didn’t matter really except of course it did but she would never dare to say anything about it. She knocked on the office’s door this time, one which was opened by a very surprised James as if he expected the two ex lovers to be behind his bar reminding themselves of what love feels like.

   - Forgot something, petal?

   - My books. - she pointed at them laying on top of one of his chairs. - I ... they’re from the library, I need them. 

   - Of course. - he handed them to her as if it weighed nothing. - Anything else I can do for you, petal?

   - Oh yes, sorry I forgot. - she opened her bag rummaging through it to find the box of incredibly expensive earrings she had been nervous about carrying with herself the whole day, afraid of being robbed. The bartender handed him the box, receiving a mere eyebrow raise from him. - It’s an incredible gift, Mr. Barnes but I couldn’t possibly accept it. 

   - Why not?

   - It’s too expensive.

   - It’s nothing compared to what I have.

   - Well ... I’d have nowhere to wear it.

   - You should wear them here.

   - I don’t ... I’m not the type of woman who wears things like these. 

   - Come with me. - he took the box from her, moving away from where he was standing and out of the office. As if she were attached to him by some invisible string, she followed straight away, wondering where they were going. He wouldn’t kill her here, and to be honest she started to wonder if he ever would.

He stopped in front of the bathroom’s, opening the door for her and standing near it. She looked at him in confusion, not entirely knowing what he wanted to do in the bathroom or why he wanted her in the bathroom. Was he going to kill her in the bathroom? She stood on her two feet still for a few seconds before going inside still wary of his intentions, whatever they were.

She could hear the sound of her ballerina slips as she entered the tilled dark decorated bathroom which was cleaner than it did during the night. His hand stood in the small of her back leading it against the black marbled counter connected to the mirrored wall. 

     - May I? - he opened the box and she nodded, looking at herself in the mirror. She stood there, motionless yet with feelings heightened as he pushed her hair away from her ears to put the earrings on her. They were slightly heavy, a sign of their value and her mind couldn’t wrap around the fact such expensive jewellery was hanging from her ear lobes. - You look exactly like the type of woman who wears things like those, petal. 

     - You flatter me.

     - I think you just don’t flatter yourself enough. - she turned her head to face him. She could feel his breathe against her forehead. All she could sense was that, his breathe, the smell of his cologne and the sound of silence. Looking up to him, he could see her own reflection, the reflection of her earrings glistening on his baby blue eyes. She didn’t know what to say, eyes glued to his as they both got close to each other until each other’s lips were touching, melting in want.

The silence seemed to burst into fireworks of each other’s heartbeats as his hands held her waist close to him. They were too lost on each other, both forgetting for a moment who each was to give way to their own choices. 

    - Mr. Barnes? - someone knocked on the door, that invisible string pulling them together breaking as they stopped kissing and stepped away from each other. 

     - I’m busy. - he yelled out.

     - Mr. Barnes there’s someone here for you. 

     - I said I’m busy.

     - No, it’s fine. - she rushed her fingers through her hair, one hand against the counter holding her up. What had she done? - You should go.

     - Petal.

     - It’s fine. - both hands now held the counter, eyes shut. - You should go. 

I sit and watch you ...

taglist: @lookiamtrying @mariamermaid @sebastianstansqueen @unmagically @buckybarnes1982 @mela-noche @lowercasegenius @randomweirdooo @projectcampbell @sebbystanlover-vk @jevans2 @hollarious @itsallyscorner @tcc-gizmachine @saiyanprincessswanie​ 

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[writingwhimsey]

Lady of Azuchi Ch. 1

A/N: My Nobunaga fanfic based off of the romantic ending (minus the epilogue).

Chapter One

I walked the streets of Azuchi carrying my last delivery for the day. When I arrived at the residence, I was greeted by a maid with a deep bow. "Welcome Lady Ava. Please come inside."

"Thank you." I replied taking the invitation and walking in. This was unusual. Most of the time when I made my kimono deliveries, the Lords and Ladies of manors preferred to have their maids greet me and accept the package on their behalf.

"My lord and lady wish to see your work right away and thank you in person Lady Ava." The maid said, confirming my thoughts. She then led me to a room where the lord and lady sat drinking tea.

"My Lord, My Lady, Lady Ava has arrived with your delivery." The maid said with a bow before leaving.

The couple smiled at me. "Welcome Lady Ava, please come in and sit with us." The lord greeted. He was a local daimyo who had come to stay in Azuchi for a few weeks.

"Thank you." I said with a bow and brought forward the package containing their kimonos. I opened the package and pulled out their custom orders, displaying the beautiful fabric. "Here are your pieces, I hope you like them."

The couple looked them over. "How beautiful...and such string stitching. These are the finest quality I have ever seen." The lady gushed.

"Very well made indeed." The Lord agreed.

"It appears the rumors are true." The Lady said. "If you want quality work come to Azuchi and request a piece by Lady Ava."

I felt the blush rising to my cheeks as a smile of pride spread across my face. "I am pleased you like my work, though I don't know if I am all that special."

"Oh my dear lady, you are." The lady gushed. "Not to mention what an honor it is to have you deliver them personally."

"Yes, a true honor." The lord agreed.

"And now when we return home, I shall be the only one to have a piece created and delivered to me personally by the Lady of Azuchi Castle. I'll be the envy of all my friends." She gushed further.

Now their treatment of me made more sense. Just a little over a month ago Nobunaga decided being my boyfriend wasn't enough and wanted me to marry him. And I loved him so much that I eagerly jumped at the idea. Especially since we already were living as if we were. It more or less just made things official being his wife.

I believed them though that they did love my work. I had many of the same compliments from customers before I even fell in love with Nobunaga. I gave them a smile. "I am so happy you are pleased. If you ever need any more pieces just place another order. I would be more than happy to make another."

"You really are as hard working as they say." The lord said.

"I only wish to do my part." I replied.

We spoke a little further before I finally was able to get away. Thankfully they had been my last delivery for the day. Looking at the sky I saw that the sun was beginning to set. I decided to stop and grab some dumplings as a treat to take back with me for an after dinner treat to share with my husband.

I grinned to myself as I thought the word husband. It felt both strange and completely right to think of him as such. We'd been together for around six months, which I know seems like a short time, but my heart was his.

As I stepped out of the shop I heard a familiar deep voice call to me. "There you are, Ava."

I turned to see Nobunaga walking up to me. My smile became even wider as he approached me and took my hand in his. "Did you come out all this way just to walk me home?"

"Of course, these streets can be dangerous at night. I can't allow any harm to come to my most precious wife." He replied bringing my hand to his lips and placing a kiss on the back.

We began walking back toward the castle, hands still clasped as he remembered my request from when we first declared our feelings for each other. He remembers everything I tell him.

"So, what is it that had you smiling when you stepped out of the dumpling shop?" He asked. "I take it your deliveries went well?"

"They did, but that wasn't what had me smiling." I replied.

"Then what was it?"

"Just thinking about getting home and sharing these dumplings with my husband."

Nobunaga smiled. "I don't think I shall ever tire of hearing you call me your husband."

"Nor I you calling me your wife." I replied.

We arrived home at the castle and made our way to the tenshu where dinner was delivered to us. "How did you deliveries go?" Nobunaga asked me as we ate our meal together.

"Really well." I answered. "I have a feeling that before they leave, Lord Yoshikai and his wife will be ordering more...especially his wife."

"You are the best seamstress...I mean fashion designer around." Nobunaga told me with a smile.

I smiled. His remembering everything I have told him about the modern day makes me so happy. It also makes me miss it less. Though just being with him I could never regret my decision to stay in the past. "I do think some of these orders come from people's curiosity over me though."

"Why do you say that?" He asked.

"I think many of them wonder why the wife of the powerful Nobunaga Oda chooses to work as a seamstress." I answered. "I believe when I first arrived here you even told me to spend my time on cards and makeup or whatever...which is what I think most other wives of these lords spend their time on."

"You are a unique woman." Nobunaga agreed. "One of the many reasons I love you." He was then leaning over and placing a kiss on my forehead.

"And I love you."

After dinner we changed into our night clothes and sat out on the balcony, overlooking the castle town. Nobunaga pulled me into his lap when I went to sit down beside him. I let out a giggle. "Beside you is not close enough?" I teased.

"Never." He answered. He was then pulling the collar of my night robes aside and playfully nipping at my neck.

A shiver of pleasure ran down my spine. His touch was always full of heat and electricity. "Mmn..ah!" I moaned as he continued up my neck and to my ear where I was so sensitive. His lips, teeth, and tongue all stimulating me as his hands slid beneath my robe to cup my breasts, his fingers tracing my nipples.

I let out another cry and arched my back as he continued to shower me with his touch. Soon we were back inside and he had me lying back on he futon. He captured my lips in a passionate kiss as he undid my robes and pushed them aside. I reached my own hands to remove his robes and run them over his string chest and back.

Nobunaga gave me a devilish grin when he broke the kiss. Then he kissed down my neck, showered my breasts in kisses and nips, over my ribs, down my stomach, before stopping to lavish my thighs with his lips and teeth. He worked his way back up my thighs and then went to the spot I was hottest for him and when he reached there, began to use his tongue to stimulate that most sensitive cluster of nerves.

"Nobu...naga!" I cried out as I reached my hands down to wrap my fingers in his hair. He continued to lap at me, making me come undone. I clenched my thighs around him as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me.

"You taste sweeter and more delicious than my most favorite sugar candies." He said upon finishing giving me yet another wave of pleasure. He smiled at me as he began to kiss back up my body.

I didn't even have the words to respond nor form a coherent thought. Before my mind had a chance to clear, he was capturing my lips in yet another passionate kiss. At the same moment I felt him enter me and fill me so completely.

I moaned into the kiss and clung to his back. My hips moved with his, our bodies one. Each thrust brought me over the brink and I moaned and cried out. Every time we made love it was just as amazing as the first time. Nobunaga had memorized the map of my body and always knew where and how to touch me.

We crested the final wave of pleasure together and then fell back into the futon. Nobunaga quickly pulled me back into his arms, holding me against his chest. He then kissed my forehead. "I will never tire of hearing you cry my name." He said, his lips at my ear.

I felt my face flush. "That's good considering how good you are at making me do it."

He chuckled. "And to think just nine months ago, you stubbornly refused to do so."

"Yes, well that's before I knew you." I replied, remembering our early days. "Though you did make me cry out several times then, too...I just refused to say your name."

"Or admit you enjoyed it."

"Well...I wasn't used to being conquered."

"And yet you are the one who conquered me." He replied. "The woman who could tame the devil."

I pulled back and eyed him. "You're saying you're tame now? I somehow don't believe that."

Nobunaga laughed. "Only for you."

We snuggled up together and soon fell asleep, still wrapped in each other's arms. I awoke he next morning rather late. Nobunaga was already up and gone to get started on his work for the day. I found a note on the bed beside me from him.

I am sorry for you to wake alone. But you looked so peaceful sleeping that I decided not to wake you. I know you have the day off. You should rest and enjoy it for I intend not to let you rest tonight once I am finished with my work for the day. I love you and I will see you tonight.

I smiled as I read the little love note. A thrill of anticipation shot through me at the promised pleasure of the night. Especially once I thought of last night's pleasure...and the night before that. Pretty much every night ended in Nobunaga making love to me and holy cats was it always amazing!

Deciding I should get up and get ready, I sat up, but almost fell back down immediately as a wave of dizziness hit me. "Woah...where did that come from?" I wondered aloud to myself.

I kept one hand back on the futon keeping myself propped up and the other on my head. Once the dizziness passed, I slowly turned to look at the room. I saw a tray nearby with my breakfast on it. Slowly I stood up and wrapped myself in my robe. I could tell that my breakfast had long ago grown cold. Yet the thought of food hot or cold seemed to make my stomach churn.

I looked out at the sky and took note of how high the sun was. Just then there was a knock on the door and my maid was poking her head in. "My lady...have you just now woken up?" She asked, looking at me.

"Yes...I must have been more tired than I realized." I said waving it off.

"I'll take your breakfast and be back with a new tray." She said. "Since this went cold. It appears it is a good thing you have the day off. Clearly you needed the rest."

"Yes, I guess so." I replied. "But don't worry about the breakfast...I'm not feeling very hungry."

"Are you feeling alright my lady?"

"I'm fine." I answered giving her a smile. "Just probably a little exhausted."

"You have been working very hard." She agreed. "I'll draw you a bath. That should help you feel a little better and more refreshed."

"A nice warm bath does sound nice. I think that will help. Thank you, Kinu."

Kinu bowed and took my breakfast tray. "I'll take this to the kitchen and then get your bath ready."

True to her word Kinu drew a bath for me and I was soon resting in the nice warm water. It felt nice to have the soak. Kinu grabbed a small wash basin and set it at the back of the tub. She grabbed a sponge and some soaps. "Allow me to wash your hair my lady."

"You don't have to do that." I replied.

"I know, but I want to. Just to make sure you are truly relaxed, alright?"

"When you ask like that, how can I say no to your kind offer?" I replied.

Kinu smiled. "Now, lie back and close your eyes."

I did as instructed and Kinu pulled my hair back over the edge of the tub. She poured the warm water over it until it was completely soaked. I sighed and relaxed as she began to comb the soap through my hair. It reminded me of getting my hair done at the salon in modern day.

There was a pause in her movements and then I felt fingers in my hair once again. Though these didn't feel quite like Kinu's fingers. They felt larger, but were somehow gentler. I opened my eyes and saw those familiar carnelian eyes I knew so well looking at me, full of warmth and love.

A smile spread across my face instantly. "I thought you had work to do?" I asked.

"Is there any work more important than tending to my lovely wife?" Nobunaga countered.

"I thought your plans for world domination were quite important." I teased.

"There is enough time I can take a break." He told me. "Besides, I missed seeing you this morning." He was then kissing my forehead.

"Sorry about that." I replied sheepishly.

"No need to apologize. You've been working rather hard. You deserve to sleep in." He told me. "Though I hear you slept in rather late today."

"More tired than I thought, I guess."

Nobunaga shook his head. "Do I need to speak to the head seamstress about reducing your work load?"

"Don't you dare." I replied.

Nobunaga chuckled. "Just remember to take care of yourself, my love."

I looked into his eyes, seeing that they looked somewhat sad and concerned. "What is it?" I asked. "There's another reason you've come here and not just to take a break, isn't there?"

"Sometimes I forget how well you see me." He said.

"Another battle?" I asked.

"One of the daimyo has come forward reporting some riots in his fief. I am going t have to go and help settle things. I will be taking Masamune and Ieyasu with me." He replied with a sigh. "And I was very much looking forward to not letting you rest this evening."

"We will have plenty of nights for you to keep me up." I replied with a smile. Though I would miss him and hated whenever he had to go off to battle, I didn't want him leaving with a heavy heart for my sake.

"You always know where to find the bright side." He was then kissing my forehead, my nose, and then my lips. "I'll finish washing your hair and then we can have lunch before I have to leave."

"You don't have to finish my hair. I can do it." I replied.

"I want to." He told me in a tone that left no room for arguments.

He finished scrubbing the soap into my hair, massaging my scalp with his long calloused fingers. Then he rinsed it out, scrubbing my scalp more to get the soap out. I sat up and let him wash my back as well before my bath was complete.

I stood up to climb out of the tub and nearly lost my balance once again as another wave of dizziness washed over me. Nobunaga caught me and steadied me as he wrapped a towel around me.

"Are you alright?" He asked, nothing but concern in those beautiful eyes.

"I'm fine. I just slipped a bit when I was standing up." I lied. I couldn't let him know about the dizziness. I knew he would worry and I couldn't let him worry about me when he had a battle he needed to focus on.

He looked into my eyes, as if he could pull the truth from their depths. "Are you sure?"

"I promise, I am totally fine. A bit clumsy, but you know that already."

"I shall have to tell Hideyoshi to keep a close eye on you while I am gone."

"As if he's not already enough of a mother hen." I teased.

After a few moments, Nobunaga finally set me back down on my feet. He helped me to finish drying off before I changed into a kimono and then we went back out to enjoy our lunch. It was a rather delicious looking meal of smoke salmon, rice, and roasted vegetables. One of my favorite meals, actually. But the sight of the salmon made my stomach churn just as the thought of breakfast had when I had first woken up.

However not wanting to worry my husband, I picked at the fish and made sure to eat the rice. "Is there something wrong with the meal?" He asked.

Damn, nothing escapes his notice. I thought to myself. "Nothing. It's just that I am not very hungry. I did eat breakfast not that long ago...since I slept in so late." I lied once again, hoping that no one had told him I hadn't eaten my breakfast.

"That would make sense." He agreed finally. "How long do you think you will be gone?" I asked, changing the subject from myself.

"It's hard to tell for sure. The fief is a three days journey from here. I imagine it shouldn't take long to quell the riots once we discover the problem. But that could take a while." He answered me. "Though I have already sent Mitsuhide ahead to start investigating."

"If anyone can find out what's going on it's definitely Mitsuhide." I replied.

"Exactly."

After finishing up the meal, Nobunaga prepared to for his journey. I helped with what I could and then walked with him to the gates, where Masamune and Ieyasu waited along with a portion of the Oda army.

"Come to see us off, lass?" Masamune greeted from astride his horse.

"Oh you guys are here too?" I replied, my tone teasing.

Masamune put a hand over his heart feigning taking a wound. "Oooh, Lass that one hurt a bit."

"This is pointless." Ieyasu said in his usual prickly tone. He then turned his horse around so that his back was to the rest of us.

"You still make aims at my wife?" Nobunaga said, eyeing Masamune.

"I lost that bet a long time ago." Masamune replied. "Course not as hard as Mitsuhide or the lass did." He then winked at me.

"What bet are you talking about?" Nobunaga asked.

Heat rose to my cheeks as I recalled the bet he was referring to. "It wasn't even a real bet."

"So, you're saying you only take bets over games, then?" Masamune teased.

"What are you two even talking about?" Nobunaga asked, clearly irritated that there was something that he didn't know. It was kind of cute how jealous he seemed over something so small.

"It wasn't long after you made your bet with her. She came to deliver a kimono I ordered. Mitsuhide bet she would fall madly in love wit you only to be left crying. I bet that I could swoop in and steal her before that could happen...oh and I believe her exact words were, I bet you both that the world will end before I ever fall in love with Nobunaga Oda."

Nobunaga looked at me. "You really said that?"

"In all fairness that was after suffering my first loss and I still thought you were a big scary ogre." I answered honestly as my face reddened further.

Nobunaga laughed and then pulled me into his arms. "And now?" He asked, his lips at my ear.

"You're a slightly less scary ogre." I teased.

He laughed. "You're the only one I will let get by with that." He was then pulling me closer and giving me a deep kiss.

I felt the kiss all the way down to my toes as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself as close as I could. When we finally broke the kiss, Nobunaga looked into my eyes. "When I return we will continue this further...and I believe I will have to punish you for thinking me an ogre."

I felt a thrill of electricity through my entire body at that. "Just what will that be?" I asked, wanting desperately to know what he had in mind.

"You will just have to wait and find out...let your imagination come up with all sorts of ideas while you wait for my return." He then kissed me again before mounting his horse.

"Lord Nobunaga gets all the fun." Masamune laughed. He then winked at me.

I returned a playful glare at him. "Just shush you."

Nobunaga turned to his soldiers. "Men, we depart. We will finish this battle victorious and all return home. None of you are to die."

Cries of, "Yes, my lord." Sounded throughout the group and then I watched as my love left with the other war lords and the soldiers.

I sent up a silent prayer for them all to return safely and swiftly. I stood at the gate until they were well out of sight. Then I turned to head to the castle, a wave of dizziness hitting me once again.

I was about to fall when I felt someone catch me. "Are you tripping over thin air now?" A familiar voice asked me.

I turned and saw Hideyoshi standing beside me. He helped me to stand and steady myself. "Something like that." I answered with a smile.

Hideyoshi eyed me like a mother eyeing her child she knew was lying. "Are you alright, Ava? You do know Lord Nobunaga didn't just ask me to look after the castle, but after you as well."

"I know...and that's all something you would do without him having to ask, I know." I replied.

"Do you need a doctor?" Hideyoshi asked me.

"Nope. I am fine." I answered. "Just a little moment of clumsiness on my part."

Hideyoshi sighed. "Alright, but I think you should get back inside and rest for the rest of the day. Just take it easy. Then after that you Mitsunari and I will join you for dinner. You definitely need to eat."

"Alright." I agreed, although food still didn't sound appealing.

Hideyoshi released me and then walked me back inside, watching me the entire time. He was such a worrywart. He walked me all the way back mine and Nobunaga's room. Once he left me, I realized how tired I still felt, despite sleeping in so late.

I decided to take Hideyoshi's advice and rest. I laid down in the futon and quickly fell asleep, though I did ask Kinu to wake me before dinner so I wouldn't worry Hideyoshi and Mitsunari when they came with dinner.

Kinu managed to wake me with just enough time to make myself presentable before the pair were joining me for dinner. I managed to eat more of the food than I had earlier in the day and, though I was forcing myself to eat so that I did not worry either of them.

After dinner they stayed and we played a few card games and chatted. I found myself able to forget about my uneasy stomach and the loneliness I felt with Nobunaga gone for just a little while. It was indeed so nice of them to visit with me for so long as I knew they had work to do.

"I think we have imposed on you long enough Ava." Hideyoshi said, taking note of the time.

"Yes, we should be letting you rest." Mitsunari agreed.

"Thank you both for coming to share dinner with me and keep me company for a while." I replied. "It was nice."

"If you wish while Lord Nobunaga is gone we can come by every night. We can't have you getting lonely."

I smiled. I knew that's why he did it. "Thank you. I would like that, but if you two are busy then don't worry about it. I know when Nobunaga is gone there is even more work for you to do."

"You let us worry about that." Hideyoshi said.

"Yes, you have nothing to worry about Lady Ava." Mitsunari agreed.

Once they were gone, I really was alone in the tenshu. I looked over at the futon which seemed cold without Nobunaga there. I sighed as I readied myself for bed and then slipped beneath the covers. I usually had a hard time sleeping when he was gone, but this night I had no troubles easily falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

I woke the next morning, but not of my own accord. Kinu was having to wake me. "My lady, you need to be getting up and eating your breakfast. The head seamstress said more orders have come in for you even while you were off for the day."

I sat up, my head pounding. I pushed through the headache though and got myself up out of the futon. I managed to eat some of my breakfast, my stomach roiling the entire time. I dressed myself for the day and headed down to join the rest of the seamstresses.

I managed to ignore my headache and the roiling in my stomach by focusing in my sewing. It was amazing how many orders were coming in specifically for me, though. I was honored by how many people loved my work.

"You're doing so well, Lady Ava." Ohatsu, the head seamstress said to me. "All of Azuchi and beyond knows that if they want quality clothes to come to you."

I smiled. "I just really enjoy the work." I replied.

"And it shows." She said with a smile. "In all my years, I have never seen anyone as passionate about sewing as you are. Nor anyone's eye for colors and patterns as trained as yours."

"Well...thank you. I am honored by your words." I replied. It was then at this very moment I was no longer able to ignore the roiling in my stomach.

"Lady Ava..."Ohatsu asked, noticing a change in my face.

"Uhm...if you'll excuse me for...a moment." I was then dashing out of the room and finding the most discrete place I could to empty the contents of my stomach.

"Maybe I am getting sick." I muttered to myself. "But I till have work to do...and I can't have anyone worrying about me."

I made my way to go get some cold water and then composed myself before returning to the seamstresses. "My lady, are you alright?" Ohatsu asked.

"Perfectly fine. I just needed to get some air for a moment."

The next week was spent in a similar fashion. I was having trouble waking up in the morning and easily falling asleep at night. My stomach did not like the sight or smell of most food. I found that rice and chicken were easy on my stomach and typically stayed down.

If I just stuck with those things, I could keep how I was feeling to myself. I was eating dinner with Hideyoshi and Mitsunari again when a messenger arrived with a letter from Nobunaga. They had managed to calm things down for the daimyo and would be heading back for Azuchi in the morning. Which meant that in three days he would be home.

"Thank heaven." I said once Hideyoshi had finished reading the letter.

"Oh my lady, I believe this letter is specifically for you." The messenger said, handing me another letter. "Lord Nobunaga said you should probably read this alone."

I smiled as I took the letter from him. "Thank you."

"Well, if that's the case, I believe we should leave you alone then so you can read your letter." Hideyoshi said.

"Yes, have a good night Lady Ava." Mitsunari said.

"Thanks, you guys too."

Once they were gone I opened the letter and read it.

Ava,

I will be home soon. This last week without you has been terrible. I miss you and your warmth. As soon as I am home we will continue where we left off...and don't forget I have to punish you for calling me an ogre. I hope you are ready. There are some...interesting things that the local daimyo we just helped gifted me for the assistance. I think you just might enjoy them. I will see you soon. I love you.

Yours eternally,

Nobunaga

My mind went so many different places as I read his letter. "What in the world could the daimyo have gifted him? I wonder." I pondered aloud to myself.

Just as I was beginning to imagine a number of BDSM scenarios, I felt my stomach roll and then I was retching. "I hope whatever this is is over by the time Nobunaga gets back." I spoke to myself.

I managed to drag myself to bed and kept a pot beside me just in case. I fell asleep with no troubles, thoughts of Nobunaga returning filling my head.

It was finally the day before Nobunaga would be returning. I was working with the maids to get the castle perfectly clean and ready for the banquet we would be having to celebrate his return and his victory.

"Lady Ava, are you sure you don't need to take a break?" One of the maids asked me. "You have been working very hard today."

"I am just fine." I answered, though I was still not feeling well. I had to push through.

"You really should take a break, my lady." Kinu said looking at me with concern.

Though I had been trying not to worry anyone, I had worried Kinu. She alone knew how little I was eating and that I had been getting sick. She was also the one who had to wake me in the mornings.

I gave her a smile. "I will finish cleaning this hall and then I will take a break if it will ease all of your worries?" I replied.

"Alright." Kinu said, though the worry did not quite leave her eyes.

"Maybe I can convince her to take a break." Hideyoshi said coming up behind Kinu.

"I'm just wanting to make sure everything looks good for tomorrow when Nobunaga gets back and we have the banquet." I replied. I was then turning to finish dusting when I suddenly felt dizzy. This dizziness was stronger than any of the previous waves I had experienced.

I felt myself falling back. "Ava!" I heard Hideyoshi and Kinu shout, but I couldn't stop myself from falling nor could I respond. I am certain I felt Hideyoshi catch me before the world went black.

I woke to the sound of Kinu's voice and a man's voice talking, but not a voice I was familiar with. "I knew I should have said something sooner." Kinu said on the verge of tears. "But she kept insisting she was fine...I was thinking that maybe she was just missing Lord Nobunaga. She always gets a little melancholy when he is gone."

"You did nothing wrong. You were only listening to what your lady and mistress was telling you." The unfamiliar male voice said.

"He is right." That was Hideyoshi. "Your loyalty to Ava is quite admirable."

"She just didn't want to worry anyone." Kinu said. "But she hasn't been eating very much and she's been incredibly difficult to wake in the mornings and she has been going to sleep almost as soon as you and Mitsunari leave after dinner...and then the retching."

"I am sorry." I found myself speaking up as the room came into focus. I was lying in the futon in the tenshu. Hideyoshi and Kinu were next to my bed and then there was a third man to my other side, looking me over. "I really didn't want to worry anyone."

"I knew something was wrong." Hideyoshi said. "You should have told us sooner. We could have brought the castle doctor to you sooner."

"Now that she is awake, will you two leave?" The third man who must have been the caste doctor spoke up. "I need to speak with the lady and also perform an exam."

"Right, of course." Hideyoshi said. "We will be right outside the door if you need anything, Ava."

"I'll go get you some rice porridge." Kinu said. "You've been able to keep that down."

"Alright...thank you, both of you."

They then left the room and I sat up and looked at the doctor. "What do you think is wrong?" I asked.

"Tell me how long have you been having these symptoms?" He asked.

"A little over a week. They started with some light dizziness and fatigue the day Nobunaga and the others left." I answered.

He nodded. "And you've had fatigue and retching as well?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Forgive me for this question, but when was your last bleeding?" He asked.

"My last bleeding?" I asked furrowing my brow.

"Yes, the one you experience monthly."

"Oh." My period. I thought as realization hit me. I then started to think about it. "It was...uhm...a month before the wedding, I think." Had it really been that long?

"Then I think you and I both know exactly what your illness is."

"Wait...you mean...I am..."

"With child yes." He answered. He was then reaching into his robes and pulling out something. "This herbal mixture will help with the uneasiness in your stomach until it subsides on it's own. Sprinkle a bit in with your meals twice a day and it will settle your stomach."

"Thank you." I said, not sure what else to say.

"Get plenty of rest as well. Your body needs it."

I nodded. "Right."

"I will leave instructions with your maid and with Lord Hideyoshi that you are to rest and eat." He said. "But don't worry I won't tell them the nature of your condition. I am sure you want to be the one to tell our lord upon his return and I am sure you want him to be the first to know."

"Yes...thank you." I said, though I admit I wasn't thinking that far ahead. I was still in shock.

The doctor bowed and then left. Hideyoshi and Kinu quickly returned soon after, Kinu with my rice porridge. "The doctor said you have a small stomach ailment and that it should clear up soon, but until then he gave you some medicine?" Hideyoshi asked.

"Yeah." I replied, still in shock.

Kinu was then taking the medicine from me and sprinkling some in the porridge. "You need to eat my lady." She said.

"Yes and neither of us is leaving until you do." Hideyoshi said.

Something about the way Hideyoshi spoke to me snapped me out of my trance and I nodded. "Right." I need to eat. I have more than just myself to worry about now. I thought as I took a bite of the warm porridge.

Both Hideyoshi and Kinu stayed until I finished the entire bowl. "You are not to lift a finger or move from that futon for the rest of the day." Hideyoshi said, sounding so much like a worried mother.

I'm going to need to take lessons. Thought to myself with a smile. "Alright, I will stay in bed and rest."

"Good." Hideyoshi said. "I think you should stay in bed tomorrow as well."

"If the medicine works though and I can eat, I should be fine to get back to things tomorrow." I protested. "Besides, Nobunaga will be back tomorrow...I need to be at the gate to greet him."

"We will see how you are feeling in the morning and then decide from there." Hideyoshi said. "I am sure Lord Nobunaga will understand if you are ill."

"I know he will understand." I replied. "But I just want to be there."

A soft smile lit Hideyoshi's features. "Sometimes I forget just how much you two love each other." He said. "But still you need your rest and you know as well as I do, Lord Nobunaga wants you to be happy and healthy. So, we'll just see how you are feeling tomorrow morning and go from there."

I let out a sigh. "Alright."

After a bit longer Hideyoshi and Kinu left to let me rest. I lay back in the futon, but there was no way I could rest. "How am I going to tell Nobunaga? And will he be happy with the news?" I whispered to myself.

I rested my hand over my stomach and smiled. "I am sure your father will be happy to hear about you." I spoke to our baby as I imagined Nobunaga's warm smile and loving gaze. As I pictured that, I knew he would be happy. I just had to find the right way to tell him.

See what happens next below!

https://writingwhimsey.tumblr.com/post/659723839623905280/lady-azuchi-ch-2

#ikesen nobunaga #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikemen series #fanfic #fanfiction #romance #chapter 1

[jimlingss]

Hi hi. Just a random idea I thought I would share in the case it might interest you. But sort of like a parallel universe or time travel thing. There's a forest/meadow on earth that is suspended in another time or world. You happened upon it by chance and meet someone there not realising that your lives can only cross in this one place.

inch-resting.....

↳ Snow White and the Park Ranger

2.4k || 100% Light Fluff || Kim Seokjin

Once upon a time—

“Please, let me go!”

—you were birthed as Princess of a marvelous kingdom, as fair as your mother and beloved by all who breathes. But tragedy appeared when your mother passed. Your father remarried a woman and after he, too, passed, your step-mother became Queen.

She was consumed by her jealousy and banished you from the castle.

And now, you were fleeing.

“I beg of you!”

The leaves of the Enchanted Forest crunch beneath your quick steps. A twig snaps as a cry befalls your trembling lips. You continue running, grasping fistfuls of the yellow shirt of your dress as you weave between the grandiose trees cloaking the sky with their canopy. The darkness is thick, shadows that whisper with beasts lurking amongst the wooded thicket. 

But you are far more fearful of the Huntsman trailing after you.

He brandishes a sharp knife, gripping it at his shoulder. You turn at your shoulder to find him close and you shut your eyes as you brush past another tree. Someone save me! Please!

Bring me away from this!

As if the magic of the Enchanted Forest answers your desperate pleas — suddenly there is a man standing in front of you. 

You are unable to slow your steps and you run into his firm chest. Yet, luckily, his strong arms reach out and he grasps at your shoulders, so that the two of you don’t collide or fall. 

“Woah, woah, woah! Are you alright?”

You look up at your saviour. The person who has rescued you. 

And your breath is stolen away from your lips. You wonder if this is what your mother always described to you when she used to read those bedtime stories back when the castle was still your home. You wonder if this is it: love at first sight.

The man has plump, pink lips, sheepish eyes and a sharp nose. He is without a sword, white horse or silver armor. Rather, a flat hat the colour of sand on top of his dark hair. His clothing is strange as well, a shirt of the same shade with an emblem on the sleeve — perhaps his kingdom’s crest — and his long pants are much darker. 

But still, he is your prince. 

“Are you alright?”

“There is a Huntsman chasing after me!” You turn around, still within his embrace. But as your breath catches up, there is no Huntsman. Have you lost him in the forest?

“I don’t see anyone,” your prince says.

“He must’ve gone when he saw you here.”

You turn back to your prince as he steps away from you, gazing down at your dress. 

You feel shy. Your red cape is torn from being twisted by branches and your yellow skirt is dirtied from the mud. You never expected to encounter your prince in the Enchanted Forest. You always thought you’d meet him at a ball. But this dress, although dirtied and not as beautiful as the ballgowns the Evil Queen has, it was sewn by your mother. You cherish it deeply. 

“Are you cosplaying?” he asks. “Or filming something?”

“Pardon me?” Your brows lift, unable to understand him.

Your Prince frowns. “Are you here alone?”

“Why, of course, I am. I was trying to get away.”

“You said someone was chasing you? Who?”

“I already said, it was the Huntsman.” You sigh. “Oh, goodness, I do not know why he would do such a thing, but it was quite frightening. I had no choice but to flee as quickly as possible!”

“Al-….right then.” He takes a black rectangle from his pants and you watch inquisitively as he squeezes the side. You’re startled when a noise comes from it. Yet the prince speaks into the rectangle. “Hello? Can we get a medic? We have a lost and distressed...unstable female down just off of the granular trail by the Marshall Springs, west of the river. Hello?”

You’re startled once more when he suddenly hits the rectangle with his hand. “Hello? Can anyone hear? Goddammit, why is it not working?”

You wonder if this is a magical contacting device from his kingdom. Perhaps he’s calling his knights. “Is everything alright, my prince?”

He looks up at you. “Huh?” 

“I’m quite alright,” you reassure your handsome prince as a bashful smile comes across your features. “Now that you’re here.”

He’s silent for a few beats and then he sighs, placing the rectangle to hang off the top of his pants again. “Do you know what your name is?”

“It’s Y/N.” Your lashes flutter. “May I know yours?”

“I’m Seokjin, Park Ranger of Wood Buffalo National Park.” He points to the emblem on his sleeve. You’ve never heard of such a kingdom before, but it sounds absolutely splendid.

“Seokjin,” you murmur the name of your prince to seal it into memory.

“I’ll be able to help you. You don’t need to be scared,” he promises and you’re sure you must be dreaming. He is perfect. “Do you know how long you’ve been out here for?”

“Half a day, perhaps? I’ve been wandering the forest for quite some time.”

“What was your last memory?”

“Well, I was picking flowers and singing to the birds, but then I heard footsteps and I turned around and saw the Huntsman and started to flee. It was such a shame as I had to leave my daisies behind.”

You sigh softly, not noticing his incredulous expression and how he takes another step away from you. “Why won’t you take a seat, Miss Y/N. I’ll try my best to contact some help for you and get an assessment done.”

You’re not sure what he means but you nod, deciding to rest at a tree stump. Prince Seokjin tries to speak into his rectangle again, but there is little answer. It goes quiet as the beautiful forest sings, birds twiddling their song and the leaves rustle. 

Your prince breathes out and then he looks at you, mustering a smile.

“You must really like Snow White,” he comments passingly.

But you gasp. How does he know the nickname of what the Evil Queen calls you?

No one else knows. Could it be that he’s working for her?

You stand, careening back from him. Seokjin’s eyes widen. “Are you alright?”

“Stay back!” you shout. You can’t believe you were almost tricked!

“Miss—!”

You flee from him.

“Wait!”

You turn around, tears welling into your eyes as you look at him. You don’t notice the rippling effect in front of you, like an invisible wall only visible to the eye if close attention is paid. You don’t notice it until you step past the boundary line and Seokjin suddenly vanishes from sight.

You slow to a stop. What.

You step back and as if the world ripples, he appears again. Right on the spot you last saw him.

You step forward and he disappears. You step back and he reappears.

Seokjin’s mouth has drawn open. He’s as bewildered as you are. 

The magic of the Enchanted Forest is wondrous in ways you cannot and will not ever understand. Your mother once told you tales on how the trees are more ancient than mankind. That the fairies and elves, creatures and beasts, living inside have added to its mystic magic that have both answered pleas and punished wrongdoers when harm is done to the forest.

You are sure this is part of the Enchanted Forest’s magic too. 

When you cross a certain point of the area, Seokjin vanishes from your sight and you do from his and when he crosses, you vanish from his sight and you no longer see him as well. It’s as if it’s a doorway and this place crosses between both of your paths.

You quickly learn that Seokjin is no prince of any kingdom. He belongs to a different world entirely.

“...and they lived happily ever after. The end.” You close the storybook he’s given to you, stunned at how your entire life has been simplified in these measly drawings and short sentences. “I...have to live in a small cottage with seven small men?”

“They’re dwarves,” he says.

You look up at him. “And I’m given a poison apple by the Queen?”

“Well, you’re saved by a handsome prince who gives you true love’s kiss…?”

“This is awful!” You sob out and the book falls to the ground. “I don’t want to return!”

Seokjin is wide-eyed, not sure what to say.

“I don’t want to live in a house with, with, with—”

“Dwarves,” he finishes.

“—or be poisoned and brought to an endless sleep, waiting until a prince’s lips touches mine, so I can wake up and live in his kingdom as his!” Hopelessness makes tears well in your eyes.

You were waiting for someone to rescue you — your prince and one true love. But now that you know what will eventually happen, you’re heartbroken. You thought once you were banished from the castle, you could live a peaceful and happy life. But there was still so much waiting for you.

You never return home. Yes, you meet your true love and the Evil Queen dies. But all that misery for a happy ending? The end doesn’t justify the means. It was still frightening. You’ve been chased by the Huntsman already and that fear is enough to make you tremble now. You can’t imagine living with seven small strangers, being poisoned, and brought to a deep sleep while not knowing when you will wake up again.

“I won’t leave,” you decide, placing your foot down.

It seemed like no one could enter this place except for you and Seokjin. The Huntsman couldn’t come when he was right behind you, so you’ll be safe from the Evil Queen and her henchmen.

“What?” Seokjin looks at you, blinking.

“I’ll stay here.” 

He looks around the empty forest, appearing at a loss. His mouth opens, closes and then opens again. “I can’t in my good conscience leave a young woman to fend for herself.”

“Why not?” You tilt your head, unable to understand his concern. “I may not be able to defeat my evil step-mother and her magic, but I know the forest well enough and can still fend for myself.”

To prove it, your lips part and you start to sing. 

At once, the birds hop from their branches and fly over to your feet. The squirrels emerge from their homes, rabbits from their burrows and a doe peeks out from the thicket. Seokjin is startled, taking a step back at all the animals and forest creatures emerging. Perhaps if he did not truly believe you were Y/N, Princess of your kingdom, and also Snow White from his storybook, he does now.

The creatures scurry away in disappointment when you stop singing.

Seokjin appears surprised. “Your voice is lovely— but I know this place might be your….your…”

“Enchanted Forest.”

“It might be your Enchanted Forest, but it’s also the Wood Buffalo National Park. It could have bears, wolves and bison. It’s dangerous. Especially at night.” 

You look at Seokjin. Seokjin looks at you.

He ultimately sighs.

Throughout the next few days, Seokjin brings you supplies. He teaches you how to set something up called a tent and it’s absolutely wonderful to sleep in with the makeshift bed he calls a sleeping bag. He teaches you how to start a fire, brings you a chair that you can easily open up and a lantern for the night.

It starts to become a wonderful place, filled with knick-knacks such as the box that makes a fantastic drink called coffee to a bigger box that’s cold and holds in snacks he brings to you. He tells you these things can run on ‘solar power’ which is power from the sunshine. It’s magic.

Seokjin might not be a prince, but he is a kind man. 

You also learn his job is a noble one. He walks through the forest and protects the creatures and heroes that wander in it. And while you may be from vastly different worlds, if there’s one thing you both have in common, it’s how much you cherish and love nature.

“I would like it if you could possibly bring me a shield or perhaps tools of some sort. Any scrap materials that you have no need for.”

Seokjin frowns, seated next to you on the log as he roasts the sweet treat called a marshmallow. His face is warm and glowing by the light of the fire. The forest is quiet but it feels peaceful. You find it’s always peaceful when he’s by your side. “What are you going to do with it?”

“I think I’m going to train and defeat the queen.”

“What?”

You roast the white puff until it’s golden on all sides. “I’ve been thinking that while I want to stay here, I don’t know if it can hide forever. I am not truly free until the Evil Queen has been defeated and I do not want to wait until she poisons me.” Your gaze meets his. “I want to protect myself.”

For the weeks that follow, you fashion sheets of metal into shields and weapons. Seokjin brings you a bow and arrows, and shows you how to shoot. You practice without rest on apples that you collect from the tree by the boundary line. That fruit has become your one true nemesis.

The arrow spirals out and thunks straight into the middle of the apple. It smacks into the trunk of the tree.

“Nice shot!”

You set your bow down, smiling widely at Seokjin who’s been watching you fondly.

“What are you going to do after you defeat the queen?” he asks in a murmur later that evening whilst helping you prepare dinner. He’s been coming to visit you every day now, after his work he says. You’re thankful for it — his company is something you’ve grown to yearn for.

You hum pleasantly. “I don’t know. Perhaps I will return. Don’t you think a cottage would be pleasant here?”

Your face lifts to find his softened gaze. He looks away just as quickly, yet he still murmurs, “Maybe I could bring you supplies.”

The two of you shyly smile to yourselves.

Seokjin may not be a prince, but he might just be the one you love.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #jin fanfic #jin scenario #jin fluff #seokjin fanfic #jin reader insert #seokjin scenario #randomness4u #Jimlings