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if-music-be-the-food-of-love · 2 years

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Behind the Scenes of “I Want it All”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

This one is about their wedding. It didn’t fit in anywhere, so here you go. (1.3k) **Posting this one specifically in honor of Sobbe’s 2 year anniversary** Link to fic.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!”

Even though Robbe and Sander were only engaged for a month, they still had plenty of time to plan (and bicker) and essentially lay down the ground rules for their wedding. Of course, there were the important details, like where, when, and how, which ended up being pretty easy for the most part. Robbe requested that they keep it small and only invite family to the ceremony, and Sander suggested the low key after-party, nothing fancy, just a regular party to celebrate. The when was the most frustrating because it was out of their control, and everything took longer than they thought it should. The real question, though, was “how much,” and not in the sense of cost (because they were definitely keeping that low; kids are expensive, you know) but how much of a big deal they’d let Zoë (and by extension Milan) make. They knew their friends and knew that left to their own devices it would be a much grander affair than they wanted, so there was much bartering and compromising on both sides about the party. Milan got his fancy cocktails and snacks; Zoë had permission to decorate with lights and fall colors (within reason); but Robbe and Sander drew the line at servers, catering, and any attempt at making them the center of attention (”No fucking announcements. It’s just a party!”). Sander insisted on creating the playlist, and at least this one time, they all agreed.

There were also smaller details that needed to be handled. Robbe insisted that they wear suits (partially because he’d take advantage of any excuse to get Sander in one again), and Sander agreed only if he didn’t have to buy fancy shoes. They bickered for weeks about whether or not to wear a tie (”because I want to be able to breathe when I kiss you!”), and while they both wanted Amelia to wear the simple, white dress Robbe’s mom had saved from her childhood, she took one look at a lime green one with tulle everywhere and fell in love. The green dress it was. In an interesting turn of events, Sander added a request from his mother, swearing that she would disown both of them if they did anything childish with the cake, as it was a pet peeve of hers, and Robbe rebutted that they skip the cake entirely. “We don’t even like cake! I mean, who cares? We could have donuts for fuck’s sake. And anyway, I’m pretty sure we can be trusted not to throw food on our wedding day.”

Pursing his lips, Sander narrowed his eyes meaningfully and picked up Amelia from where she sat in her bouncy seat, not paying attention to them in the slightest. “Amelia,” he asked, “What do you want for dessert?”

“Cake!” burst from her mouth, loud and clear.

Sander kissed her cheek and put her back in the seat, flicking a rattly toy to get her attention. She immediately swatted it and started bouncing up and down with renewed energy. He turned back to Robbe. “She,” he emphasized, “Wants cake.”

Well, shit.

“Annnd,” Sander continued, grinning, “My mom’s concern is justified. We don’t exactly have a perfect record with cake, or food in general, or maturity honestly, so...”

They finally compromised on an ice cream cake, and Robbe promised to be on his best behavior, though, poking Sander in the ribs, he added, “My behavior is entirely dependent on whether you provoke me, so don’t forget to behave yourself!”

There was one detail, however, that they disagreed on completely. It started out as a joke. Thinking to lighten the mood one night after checking for updates on their adoption paperwork (the update: there is no update, there will never be an update, this will take for-fucking-ever), Robbe joked that Sander was not allowed to carry him into their flat on their wedding night. In true Sander fashion, he immediately wanted to do just that. The idea took hold, and the more Robbe shook his head “No” and giggled, the more Sander wanted to do it. He wanted it viscerally. His hands itched to hold Robbe in his arms, to feel his weight pull at his biceps and shoulders, to have Robbe’s arms wrapped around his neck. It was the symbolism, really. He wanted to carry his world into their future, and once the image was burned into his imagination, he couldn’t help himself. Robbe just continued to laugh and say, “No way, c’mon San!” which forced Sander to laugh it off too and only bring it up with a teasing tone.

By the day of their wedding, they hadn’t come to any kind of real agreement or compromise. When they arrived at the door of their flat after their party, they eyed each other warily with suspicious smiles, standing at arm’s length, not touching anywhere for the first time all evening. Robbe opened the door with his key, sneaking glances over his shoulder at Sander, and when he turned, he could see the teasing glint lighting up Sander’s eyes. When Sander smirked and took a step forward, arms raised, Robbe cried, “Oh no, don’t you dare!” and ducked under Sander’s reach, lunging towards him. He tackled Sander around the waist, and as Sander’s momentum carried him further over Robbe’s back, Robbe braced himself and lifted Sander over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Sander screeched in shock, and laughing, Robbe carried him into their flat, Sander yelping and smacking his backside the whole way. Robbe carted him down the hallway, all the way to the couch, and clumsily, plopped him down on it, collapsing in a giggly mess in his lap. Sander chuckled and sputtered briefly but then fell silent. Finally sitting back on his heels, Robbe took one look at Sander’s face, somehow looking both crestfallen and awed, and felt a little guilty. He rose up and placed his palm on Sander’s cheek, his other hand pushing back his hair til he could cup the back of his neck. “You’re really disappointed, aren’t you?” He kissed him lightly.

“Kinda,” Sander responded, shrugging it off.

Unconvinced, Robbe brushed their noses together. “Still,” he said, “You’re disappointed.”

Sander pressed his forehead into Robbe’s and rolled his side to side against it, eyes closed, clearly thinking. Robbe could feel Sander’s smile before he spoke, finally admitting, “It was kind of hot, actually. Like, really fucking hot, and I’m trying to figure out which feeling is strongest. Do I pout or drag you to the bedroom? It’s a real problem.” Robbe met Sander’s eyes, and they burst into laughter. Sander pulled him to his chest and hugged him close, rubbing his nose into his hair. In his ear, he whispered, “You, my ridiculously sexy husband, are going to kill me.”

“That’s what you always say,” Robbe mumbled, trailing kisses up his neck.

“And it’s always true,” he chuckled. “Now,” his hands snuck down to Robbe’s hips, and he lifted an eyebrow. “Shall we?”

Huffing a laugh, Robbe climbed out of his lap and stood, holding his hands out to pull Sander up after him. Without warning, Robbe wrapped his arms around his neck and jumped. Sander, caught off guard, barely caught his legs and staggered under his weight for a moment, stumbling sideways until he could brace himself with his calves against the couch.

“Ugh,” he groaned, “I’m beginning to regret my life choices. You’re heavy.”

“You’re not exactly light yourself,” Robbe retorted, pulling on the hairs at his nape. “Though, I am sorry, even if I kinda prefer it this way. Now we’re even,” Robbe murmured into his collarbone.

Sander laughed and said, “I’ll take it.” And he meant it. This was good too, better than good because not only did he eventually get to hold Robbe, but he also had the delightful experience of being manhandled by him. On that thought, he adjusted his grip to pull Robbe closer and connected their lips. The kiss turned passionate almost immediately, and Sander found himself struggling once again to remain upright.

Robbe smiled against his mouth and said, “Maybe we should get going.” And they did, kissing the whole way, Sander brushing up against the wall for balance before continuing his crooked path to the bedroom.

Robbe couldn’t help reflecting that this wasn’t all that different from any other time Sander had carried him into the bedroom. They’d both been a little silly about the whole thing. It wasn’t really an argument. No one lost, and they both won—because they had each other.

#wtfock #wtfam #sobbe #i hope this turned out all right #it took me forever to be happy with it and i'm still not sure about it #i want it all #behind the scenes of iwia #happy 2 year anniversary #to my favorite fake boys #did I post it at 21:21 on purpose? why yes I did

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atalho-s · 3 years

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Sweet Sugar

2 | Oh this town it's so electric

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: swear words, underage drinking (not much tho, nothing descritive and nothing like “Skins” lmao), suggestive scenes in some chapters, not smut!! but minors be aware. Fluff/angst/drama/ Y/n and Tom being stupid teenagers with feelings.

words: 2.5 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, sorry for any mistake!

Summary: Y/n has always been Harrison’s and Tom’s best friend. Since childhood they’ve always been close, but what happens if after a break up with her first boyfriend, she starts to feel something more about Tom?

PART 2! If you want to read Part 1 click here

Don’t forget to check out the playlist by @petesrparker created for the series! here

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It was almost 7pm on Saturday and I was almost ready to go meet Tom before we went to the party. I had put on a stylish shirt along with a skirt (a little shorter than i usually wore) and a sandal with a medium heel. After finishing doing my outline, I take the bag with the gift and went down the stairs.

The day before I had found something in the mall, a chain with an amber stone as a pendant. The attendant of the store had told me it meant protection and calm, which I thought was perfect to give to Tom as a way to show that I was there to comfort him whenever he needed it.

As soon as I went downstairs my mother was already waiting for me to fill me with accessories (she always complained that I didn't "dress up" properly).

- You look beautiful! - She said putting a bracelet on my wrist and two rings on my fingers.

- Aw, thanks mom!- I said giving a kiss on her cheek. - I have to go, because I'm almost late, I don't know what time I'll be back, probably before midnight.

-Okay, If you need anything calls us and we'll go get you. - She said and I nodded waving to my father who was in the living room. - Give my birthday wishes to Thomas and a hi to Haz for me and take this pie to Nikki. - She handed me a bag with a pot as we walked down the stairs from the front door.

- Okay, bye mom! - I said and waved down the street.

After walking for less than 10 minutes I was in front of Tom's house, took a deep breath, went up the stairs to the entrance and knocked on the door. I heard some screams to open the door from the inside and a "messy hair" Harry wearing striped pajamas answered me.

- It's Y/n! - He yelled to the side. - Come in. - He said as he gave me space and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

- Are you ready to sleep? - I said pointing to his pajamas. - Actually it's time to children to be in bed, you're right. - and Harry stuck out his tongue.

- So funny. Since we're not old enough to go to the party with you guys, me, Sam and Paddy are going to play video games and watch movies, you know, boys night. - He said as if celebrating, putting a fist up.

- Got it. In fact, what I really wanted was to be with you guys watching movies, much better than a party. - I said as we arrived in the kitchen, where Nikki and Sam were preparing cookies.

- I doubt it, I can't wait to go out and have fun at night. Harry said and I shrugged.

- What can I do? I'm a old lady... - I laughed and greeted Nikki and Sam with a hug.

- I wish my children like to stay in home like you. -Nikki spoke as she took the cookie shape out of the oven.

- Well Nikki, I've already tried to get them on the right path, but they're too rebellious.- I said and Harry and Sam giggled. - My mother sent you apple pie. - I put the bag on the counter.

- Yay, your moms apple pie is delicious!- Sam said opening the bag and taking a fork to taste.

- Teenagers....I don't know what I do with these pests anymore.- Nikki said putting her hand on her hip and watching Harry and Sam fight to eat the pie.

- Did I hear pie?- Paddy came into the kitchen greeting me with our handshake, which I taught him since he was practically a baby, Paddy and I had our little bond, I was his defender when the older brothers made fun of him.

He stole Sam's fork and ran off as he and Harry ran after him screaming.

-Oh God…I don't deserve this.- Nikki laughed. - Honey, Tom is there in his room getting ready, if you want to go upstairs.

- Okay, I'll hurry him.- I said and she agreed, laughing. - By the way, you look amazing! I loved your outfit.

- Thank you Nikki! - I thanked going towards the stairs.

Once I got to the top I walked until I reached the end of the hallway where Tom's room was, knocking on the door.

- Tommy? Can I come in? - I asked and heard a "come in!" from the inside.

I opened the door and saw Tom in front of the mirror finishing his hair. He wore a basic white T-shirt and black jeans, along with a black all star with white laces. He looks beautiful, which made me miss a few heartbeats for a moment.

- Did you like it? - He asked turning to me and opening his arms looking at himself and then at me again.

- Perfect! I loved the all star- I said and he smiled.

- You not looking bad yourself either... New skirt? - He said looking me up and down making me feel my cheeks burning.

- It's old, but I've never used it, I left it for special dates.

- I felt honored now- he said and I laughed.

-Hey happy brithday! - I approached and hugged him feeling his delicious and intoxicating perfume. - Best wishes, I hope all your dreams come true. - I said still hugging him tight and closing my eyes feeling him kiss my cheek when we let go.

- Thank you mate, you and Haz are one of the best thinga in my life. - He said and I smiled seeing him smile back, and what a smile... Damn y/n! Stop thinking things that shouldn't be thought!!

-I have a present for you!-I said, delivering my bag in his hands.

- Yay!! - He got excited sitting on the bed to open it like a child on Christmas Day. -Wow!- he said taking the chain out of the box. - It's beautiful... Thank you so much darling, I love it! - and obviously I blushed even more with the pet name. Tom called all the women closest to him darling or love, which was normal, but whenever he said to me, for some reason, I felt a warm feeling in my heart...

- You're welcome Tommy, it's an amber stone to bring you protection and patience.

- Perfect, everything I need - he looked at me - I'll use it right now! It even matched my outifit- he said putting the chain around his neck and winking at me right after.

- I liked it, it looks amazing. - I said looking at him and he hugged me from the side.

- Hey, we have to go if we don't want to be late.- he said getting up and giving me his hand to get up too.

- Right. - I said, following him out of the room and down the stairs behind him.

- Mom? We're already going! - he yelled, taking the keys from the counter and Nicki appeared approaching.

- You two are rocking huh? Both look beautiful! My baby is already so grown... - she said squeezing one of Tom's cheeks making me laugh and he rolled his eyes.

- Mom...

- Okay, go ahead, and don't drink! Especially you young man - she said pointing at Tom with her intimidating finger. - And don't come back too late.

- Okay mom. I'm responsible.

- Yeah... I'm just more relieved, because the Y/n goes too, she's the only sane one of this "impossible trio." - and I made a face of "proud of myself", puffing out my chest.

-Ha-ha, yeah sure...- Tom replied and I hit his arm causing him to rub it pretending he was in pain.

- I'm the oldest and most responsible, Nikki is absolutely right. - I said and Nikki laughed.

- You said like you're very old, but it's only some months... - He start saying and I raised my hand ready to hit him again, making him shrink with fear. - Okay, okay... Now let's go, because we're already too late. - Tom said opening the door letting me through and we waved to Nikki.

We took an uber and arrived in 20 minutes in front of the party. It was a really nice house, Tom’s friend welcome us on the front door and lead us to the backward, into what appeared to be a small wood structure with a big window at the front, but when Tom and I walked in after passing the door, the place was a lot bigger than it looked. It had a lot tables around like a big saloon even with a dance floor and seemed to be very cozy. When we walked in you could hear an indie song playing in the background, which I really liked as it's one of my favorite styles. Passing through the door we already saw some familiar people seated, including Haz.

- Finally! The birthday boy arrived!- Tuwaine, one of the boys' friends, who eventually became mine too, stood up greeting Tom with a hug.

- Thanks mate.- Tom said returning the hug and greeting the rest of the people who were at the table and I went after him greeting them too.

- Good to see you here Y/n! I know you're not a big fan of parties.- Tuwaine said as I sat between him and Haz.

- Well, it’s what we do for friends, right? - I laugh looking at Tom who was talking to some friends from the school.

An hour passed and everyone was drinking and talking happily. Tom sat at the end of the long table a little away from where I was with Haz and Tuwaine, so the 3 of us were talking nonsense and joking together.

Until a group of 4 girls arrived together, one of them I could recognize as being Gracie, a girl from the school, I didn't know her very well, we were classmates, we did math together, but we never talked. And another face I knew well: Meghan. A girl who do theater with the boys and who was everyone's crush. Tom and Haz were always talking about her, but I had never talked to her for a long time, just the times I would meet the boys at the theater, we would say hello and goodbye and that was it. The only thing I knew was that Tom was in love with her since he was a child.

Obviously that made me a little jealous, which was ridiculous, because I didn't even know her very well and even though I felt something different for Tom for the past few months, it wasn't right for me to be jealous, he was my friend, that's all.

The girls approached the table and Tom got up to greet them.

-I'm glad you came!-I heard him say as he kissed Meghan's cheek and hugged the others. I could see Gracie looking in Haz's direction and look away quickly, which made me raise a curious eyebrow.

They sat down and I saw Meghan walking to the bar with Tom as they chatted excitedly. I looked away picking up my glass with a drink I didn't even know what it was anymore, taking a sip. I heard someone approaching and when I looked up I saw Gracie.

- Hi Haz! Good to see you. - She said and I saw Haz turn a little red.

- Good to see you too Gracie!- he said greeting her across the table.

- Do you guys know each other?- I asked looking from one to the other.

- Yes we did English together. - Haz said.

- You are Y/n aren't you? Do we do math together? - Gracie asked.

- Yes we do! Do you know Meghan too?

- Yes, she is a childhood friend of mine, as she said she was coming on Tom's birthday and didn't want to come alone me, Beverly and Paige came to accompany her.

- Got it, do you want to sit with us? - I said pointing to the chair in front of us.

- I wish, but the girls are already asking me to sit with them, we haven't seen each other for a while, you know, don't you want to go sit with us instead? - She said pointing to the other table where the other 3 girls were looking at her, calling her.

- It's a good idea. - Haz said and looked at me and Tuwaine who agreed, getting up.

So Gracie went in the front with Tuwaine behind her and me and Haz got a little further back, where I poked him.

- Why didn't you tell me you had a crush? - I asked like a whisper so that only he could hear me.

- It's not a crush... She's just a nice girl from my class, that's all. - he replied.

- Haz I know you.- I said and he rolled his eyes giggling.

We arrived at the table and stayed there talking and getting to know each other. The girls were really nice and cool, which I ended up getting along really well with them, especially Gracie, which was funny because we did a class together and we never even said hello to each other. In the meantime, Tom and Meghan had already returned from the bar with their drinks, where Meghan ended up finding a way to sit next to Tom at the other table, which I thought was a little weird, but I ignored it.

After a few minutes Tom approached our table.

- Hey guys, we’re going to the dance floor, do you guys want to?- he asked leaning between my chair and Haz.

Everyone ended up agreeing, getting up and following him to the dance floor, where Meghan and a few others at the other table were already dancing. The song Juicebox by The strokes starts playing, and everyone sang loudly. I was a little behind as I hated dancing, but I also joined in the singing, because Strokes was one of my favorite bands.

Soon after, the song Glockenspiel song by D.I.D started to play. We got even more excited and started jumping singing. I saw Haz approach Gracie, which made me smile, they looked cute together. So, I looked around and realized that I was in a corner alone, Tuwaine had already left for the middle of the floor super excited and the other girls were on the other side, talking to Marcos and Julian. I kept looking until I found Tom and Meghan, they were dancing very close and talking talking into each other's ears, laughing.

(Oh this town, it's so electric Since I got the feeling I can't shut down)

I lowered my eyes finding the ground very interesting for a moment, but I couldn't stand it and looked up again.

(Oh this town, it's so electric Since I got the feeling I can't shut down)

Which I regretted, because now they were kissing passionately.

(We are a mess, we are failures and we love it)

I felt my stomach starts to hurt, and my eyes fill with tears. Why did I feel this way? It was ridiculous and immature. Tom had already hooked up with other girls in front of me, why was it different now? Not understanding my feelings, the only thing I did was run away, I went outiside and went to the front of the house, leaving.

Maybe it was the drink? But I sat on a low wall and lowered my head to my knees and started to cry.

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#tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland friends to lovers #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland series

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ayasmess · 4 years

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Demonic!Yugyeom x OC | Kinktober: all sins week | Smut (sensory deprivation), angst

words: 3.4k+

Every year, you receive a letter. Every year, you just put it in the left compartment of your closet. But you’d never open them. After all, you swore to never touch it again. Witchcraft.

Your mother tried to make you believe in it, even on her deathbed, and still, you refused.

But what if one night, when you’re not thinking right, you invoked him. Would it be your worst mistake?

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Your friend asked through the phone.

While putting her on speaker, you went to your closet, putting back some clothes, always avoiding the left compartment. “I meant what I said. I don’t feel good about standing in the same room with my ex and his amazing fiancée who by the way is my childhood friend.”

You heard a sigh. “It’s been 2 years, I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel like that, all I’m saying is that you could meet other people.”

“Why would I meet other people? I have you guys.”

“Maybe because you can’t screw your friend and you need some.”

“Who said we can’t— okay no I’m good without screwing you.” You laughed and stop arguing. “I have to go, but as I told you, enjoy the party, I probably won’t be there.” You replied and hung up before she could even complain.

Maybe something was wrong with you, maybe you should have said yes. Maybe not being close to that box would have been the salvation to your pain. But that night, you decided that he was your salvation.

Do you regret it?

Are you scared of the night?

Do you fear him or you?

For the whole week, you tried to organize your room, again and again. As if something was wrong, you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. You moved all your furniture, even reorganize your closet. But you never touched that left compartment, as if it was cursed.

Those letters were cursed, after all, they bore his seal.

The week passed, the night of Halloween, your friend insisted to come to your house at least before the party. She didn’t like the thought of you being alone that day. So here you were, both of you on the floor of your bedroom, alcohol in your blood, for god’s know how long. You were not the type to drink that much but tonight was different.

“I still don’t understand why you don’t want to go to the party... You know we still have time.” She looked at you, smirking.

You sighed. “I don’t know, it feels wrong. To be there and to see his happily ever after face, while I’m just a drunken ex who can’t get over him.”

“We all know it’s not him you have to get over. It’s hard sometimes to move on when you feel like you’re in a hole and everyone just keeps moving.”

“And that hole is so big. God, I can’t even see the outside.” You drunkenly admitted.

“Girl, we’re so drunk, we don’t make sense.” She laughed as she got up. “Come on.”

You looked at her puzzled. “What?”

“Remember what your mom used to say? To enjoy the day without thinking about tomorrow and if a dude can’t appreciate your boobs just go for another one.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what she used to say...” You snickered.

“Let’s go to that fucking party and have fun. Who cares about that trash and his trashoe. We’re going to have fun and... and I forgot what I wanted to say—“

You laughed loudly and you paused as you looked at her fondly. “Okay just for you.”

“Oh god, please don’t fall in love with me.”

“Shut up and help me find a good outfit.”

She searched in your closet for the clothes, throwing some of them on the bed. While opening all the compartment, her fingers met a box nested at the bottom. Her curiosity got the best of her and she pulled it.

When she opened it, a hand closed it quickly. “Don’t.” You spoke a little harshly.

She looked at you surprised. “Letters? Why do you hide letters?”

You looked away and hesitantly you responded. “It’s about the invocation. You know that whole witchcraft stuff my mom used to believe?”

“Yeah! And I freakingly believed her! What is the content of those letters?!”

“It’s nothing, just superstition. Every year, we’re allowed to make a wish to our spiritual guardian. And we have to burn that letter as a part of the offering.”

“You never did that... because?”

“Because I don’t want to meet him or communicate with him. Not anymore.”

“Okay... y’all weirdos. Come on let’s go get that outfit.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You walked down the street, fiddling the side of your skirt.

“No, but who cares. In the worst case, it was just a drunken night, we probably won’t remember the details. In the best case, you met an amazing guy, who had an amazing sense of humor and you both shared amazing sex—“ You put your hand on her mouth before she could continue.

“Okay, that’s enough! I got it I got it.” You chuckled nervously.

If only you met that guy. Except, you obviously didn’t. But you did hear a conversation about your amazing ex and his amazingly pregnant fiancée. When you tried to move away from the group, you bumped into someone. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You heard as you felt the content of your drink on your shirt. Great. Amazing night.

You sighed and looked upwards. Okay maybe, your friend was right about meeting a cute guy. Meh, too late. “It’s okay, I wasn’t careful either.”

“Look, let me go get a shirt in my room.” Oh, and you bumped into the host.

“It’s okay I wanted to go home anyway.”

“At least, let me walk you to your house. I think we live in the same street?”

“Yep... You don’t have to—“

“Come on, I’ll grab my jacket.”

Okay, maybe it wasn’t so late.

And maybe you enjoyed his presence as you both talked on the way. Was it the way his eyes glowed when he smiled? Was it his cute smile? Was it the amount of alcohol in your blood? Or was it this sinking pain in your chest every time you thought how unfair your life was? What made you kiss him in front of your house?

You felt his hand slide from your cheek to your waist, pressing you against him. You didn’t mind, as long as he could take away that oppressive feeling.

But he couldn’t.

At which point did you invite him inside? You don’t remember. Who cares, as long as he keeps pressing his lips on your neck.

When did you even start to grind against his thigh while he pressed you against the wall of your room? You couldn’t care less, you just wished his touch could be your salvation. Just for the night.

And then you felt his hand sliding below your waist. He sensed your sudden stiffness.

That oppressive feeling on your chest became heavier and heavier.

And stupidly you realized, his simple touch couldn’t salvage you.

He distanced himself before sighing. You couldn’t even meet his eyes. You felt his hand on your cheek as he gently kissed the side of your temple. “It’s okay, we don’t have to.”

You couldn’t help but whispered a pathetic sorry. He asked you if you needed him to stay.

All you could do was shake your head as you clenched your fists.

“Okay” That’s all he said, as he left.

What a fucking awkward night.

You walked toward your bed and lie on it. You didn’t have any rational thought. Nothing.

And then your sight turned toward your closet. The compartment was still closed.

You didn’t think right.

Let’s blame the alcohol.

You shouldn’t touch that cursed letter.

But you did.

You got up, you walked towards that closet and you opened it. You took one of the letters between your hand. A strange numbness on the extremities of your fingers begin. You couldn’t read it, Latin words spread the old paper.

You never understood how the letters came to your house. No one knew. Some say it’s just black magic, and we shall never touch it, in fear of corruption.

Others used them for their sins.

A small whisper asked you.

Are you a sinner?

All your instincts screamed, don’t open it. Don’t call him.

And yet, you did.

You wished to see him again, you wished he could take away that pain, you wished he made you forget about it, about this guy you met, about your ex, about his perfect life, about your mother, about this oppressive feeling, about this loneliness.

“Take it away.”

You wished for him.

And just like that, the letter burned.

The room became cooler. And the lights around you blinked. And you felt a shiver.

“Missed me?”

His voice was the same. Just like when he left you, or when you left him. Cold and cynical.

You let a shaking breath. He slowly walked in your direction.

“Tell me, sweetheart. Did you miss me?” He whispered to your ear, and gently he pressed his lips on your neck. You sighed, as his arm encircled your waist and pressed you against his chest.

Despite the shortness of breath, you whispered pathetically. “Yugyeom—“

“I waited for you. 3 long years, in this darkness.” His fingers digging into your sweater, you could almost feel the extremities of his nails.

“At first I was worried that I scared you.” A small kiss was pressed against your temple.

“And then resentment came, along with his companion, un-forgiveness, when I realized you were never going to free me again.” He bit your ear.

“So tell me, love, why should I answer your prayer when you gave up on me?”

Shaking, you tried to control yourself. And boldly, you answered. “You get to consume my sin, isn’t that worthwhile reason?”

He chuckled. “I shall honor your prayer then.”

Suddenly, your surroundings disappeared, you just blinked for a second, and the next you were caught in his illusion.

You could feel the softness of the bed against your back. You could smell the scent of burning candles around you. You could hear the quiet sound of the rain outside, hitting the windows.

But all your attention was on him.

His hands were on top of your head, his knees on each side of your body. You wouldn’t be able to get away from him. That is if you wanted to.

He straightened himself, unbuttoned his leather shirt. You let a shaken breath at the sight of it. He chuckled at the sound of your squeal when he pulled you closer to him.

“I like this color. Looks good on you.” He hummed as his finger played with the front zipper of your red sweater. He kissed softly the side of your mouth. “But I prefer you without it.” He pulled it downward, revealing your naked chest. He smirked at the sight, caressing your waist. “Definitely better.”

His other hand brushed the side of your jaw, his eyes finding yours, and softly his lips found yours.

Maybe you missed this. His delicacy every time he kissed you as if you could disappear at any moment. As if, his tenderness would bring you back to him, like a magnet. As if, no one could give you this warmth.

You couldn’t help but bringing him closer to you, gripping the sides of his shirt, while you responded passionately to his kiss.

A small whimper left your lips when you felt his hand leaving your waist, leading toward your breast, his thumb caressing your nipple, before pinching it.

He straightened himself and moved his chest away from yours.

His hand traveled toward your thighs, before encircling them and bringing you closer. You could feel the shape of his crotch through the clothes.

But he didn’t move, he didn’t do anything. He just stared at you, a little smirk on his lips.

Looking at him, you couldn’t help but pout. You wrapped your legs around his hips and brought your crotch to his.

Licking his lower lip and biting it, he then asked smugly. “What are you going to do? Satisfy yourself?”

You whispered, ungraciously. “Shut up.” But again, you were not the gracious type, and he wasn’t either.

Hence why his hands fallen on either side of your head, he brought himself closer to you and whispered. “Come on, be a good girl, and do it.” His lips brushing yours, you closed your eyes, before lifting your pelvis.

You could feel his smirk against your lips, as you started to grind against his crotch. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and gripped the lower part of his hair. You couldn’t repress the small smirk on your lips when you heard him grunt. He pressed his crotch against yours before detaching himself from you roughly.

He snapped his fingers, and one second later, you were completely naked in front of him. He cockily raised an eyebrow at your blushing cheeks, as you were embarrassed by this sudden appearance.

“Let’s play a game sweetheart.”

You frowned at his words, you knew they were bad news but your curiosity took over.

His face moved closer to you as he cooed. “Let’s see how much you can take it.”

He unbuckled his belt and took it between his fingers. You gasped as you felt invisible hands holding your wrists and bringing them on top of your head, to the bedhead. Before you could question his intention your wrists were encircled by the belt against it. “Yugyeom—“

“Ah-ah.” He stopped you. “You still have a punishment to take.” You shivered as you felt his finger brushing your neck, following its course toward your chest, and then stopping right before your pelvis.

He looked at you and thought. “Let’s add another thing.”

You nervously anticipated. And before you could even ask him, darkness surrounded you.

The silk scarf around your eyes, your hands tied against the bedhead, you felt deprived of his touch, until his finger skimmed your thigh.

He chuckled at the sound of your whimpers. Before you could even say anything to rush him, his thumb was pressed against your mouth. “Who said you could talk, love?”

Slowly opening your mouth, you took his thumb against your lips, biting it lightly. Softly, you began to suck it when he pressed it against your tongue.

Suddenly, he pulled it away from your lips. Before you could whine about it, you felt his mouth on your lips, gently kissing you. You responded with more passion as if you didn’t know when he would give you this satisfaction. Biting your lower lip, when you moaned at the touch of his finger on your inner thigh, he deepened the kiss.

You shivered when his fingers brushed your skin, slowly moving toward your core.

He didn’t press his fingers on it, he just skimmed it, chuckling at the sight of your pelvis moving away from the ticklish touch.

He kissed the side of your jaw as his finger was pressed against your core, gathering moisture. You whimpered when you felt pressure on your clit. He pressed his thumb against it, making an encircling gesture. You wrapped his waist with your leg so he could continue.

You cried at the slow invasion of his finger inside, his kiss muffled your moans. He moved slowly, before adding another finger.

He moved his lips toward your neck, biting your skin and leaving purples marks in his path toward your chest. You moaned when he started to take your nipple between his lips and at the same time his fingers quickened their pace. You could feel your core tightening its grip on his fingers, as he kept stimulating it. You cried when you felt pressure on your clit. You squealed out of surprise when you realized it wasn’t his touch.

All you could hear was his snickers. “What you cannot fear what you cannot see, darling.” If it was another time, you’d argue but all you could think was how overwhelmed you were. You opened your mouth to shut his cocky attitude but a gasp left your lips. He quickened his pace and the pressure grew on your clit, you could hear the wet sounds of his fingers pushing and pulling out of your pussy.

Your wrist tried to pull themselves from the grip of his belt, as you cried when you felt your pleasure building up.

Before your orgasm finally hit you, your wrists were liberated, and you quickly encircled your arms against his neck, bringing him closer to you. Waves of pleasure hit your body, the silk depriving your vision disappeared and before you could think, his lips found yours. His fingers left your spastic core. He brought you closer to him, encircling his arms around your waist.

Your body called its shaking against him, as you buried your face in his shoulder, his musky smell engulfed you. He kissed the side of your temple, before looking at you in the eyes.

You took his face between your hands and gently you brushed his cheeks with your thumbs. You murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you here. For not being there when you needed someone.”

There was no room, no windows, no candles, no walls, no illusion. Just this bed with him and you in this darkness.

Darkness surrounded you, but you weren’t scared. Not anymore.

His hand moved toward your cheek, removing the falling tear, before kissing your closing eyes.

He took your thighs with his hands, bringing you closer to his crotch. You moved your hand and wrapped it around his girth. He kissed you gently as you felt him inside you.

He slowly moved, letting you get accustomed to his length. You sighed at the building pleasure, before pushing him on the back so you could ride him. And softly, you began to grind against him. He wrapped his hands on your hips, throwing his head backward, feeling your warmth surrounding his cock.

His pelvic pressed against your clit, stimulating you. You brought your chest closer to him, so you could kiss his neck. Taking his skin between your lips you left small purple marks on it.

You cried when he moved his pelvic, thrusting his hips. He held your waist so you wouldn’t move, and he started to pound from below. You could feel your legs shaking from the pleasure.

Before you could react, he removed himself from you. He pushed you so your back hit the mattress and he was on top of you. You whine at the sudden emptiness, as he tapped his cock against your clit, teasing you.

He kissed you as he pushed it inside you once again. He slowly thrust before moving faster. Moans were muffled by his kisses. He started to pound while his hand reached your clit, stimulating it.

You whimpered at the pressure of his fingers, you wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped him even tighter.

Your breathing got faster and difficult as this overwhelming pleasure hit your body. And before you could even think right, your vision lightened, your back arched. Your hand gripped the side of your pillow as he continued to thrust inside you, seeking his pleasure and overwhelming yours. His thrusting became erratic. You brought him closer to you, kissing the shell of his ear, engulfing him with your intoxicating scent. You could hear his soft moans when he started to come inside you.

You caressed his hair as you both tried to calm your breathing.

He pulled himself away from you.

His gaze meeting yours, you began to feel nervous and vulnerable in this state. You were scared of the possible rejection, but you couldn’t help but touch his cheek with your hand.

Slowly, as if you could disappear if he moved harshly, he kissed your palm. He laid at your side, before pressing you against his chest. Leaving a soft kiss on the side of your temple he whispered. “Don’t leave.”

You kissed his neck before answering him. “I won’t. Not anymore.”

You were not scared of your feelings. You were not afraid of being in love with a demon.

#got7 #got7creators #got7 smut #yugyeom #yugyeom smut #yugyeom imagine #got7 fic #kpop smut #all sins week #kinktober collaboration #aya's writing #rating: mature

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kooktaebear · 3 years

Text

If Only I Knew

Status: ONGOING (this is my first AU AHHH I’m excited to write the next couple of parts, but I hope this story gets a lot of love :~>)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Y/N abruptly moved to Seoul after spending 21 years living alone in her hometown, Busan after the death of her parents. She now discovers through her best friends that drama can be a lot to handle, but as she starts to meet new people, she discovers that she had completely forgotten an important part of her past.

Warnings: mention of guns, blood and violence,

Genre: angst, WHOLE LOT OF FLUFF, slow burn

Word Count: 3.2k

Part One:

I step out of the bus and a gust of cold wind hits my face as I board the train. Why did I think of not wearing enough layers in the middle of winter? I take my seat and look out the window to see the number of people who are about to board the train. I grab my phone and start listening to ILYSB. I like LANY, their music is perfect for travel.

I know this isn't such an interesting event in my life since I know that many other people have flown to see Seoul, capital of Korea but hey, give me a break. I’m finally going to meet my best friends after living alone for 4 years. This is what pays to be travelling, a provincial girl like me? I doubt I would ever survive the city life.

As a 2 hours pass, I wake up to hear the advisory that I’m about to reach Seoul.

I look out the window, close my eyes, and whisper.

"Mom, Dad, I made it to Seoul."

I lost both my parents during a hostage that happened in our own home. My mom happened to answer the door and was shot first. The culprit saw me and asked me to go get my dad. At first I was confused, but it so happened that there was an issue with the family business and this guy was after the money. I was 13 at that time but I still couldn't figure out why something like this had to happen to our family. However, as soon as my dad had agreed to the terms of the killer, he pointed his gun at me and pulled the trigger. I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the pain that comes next but instead, I felt warm liquid on my hands and felt something heavy fall on me, it was my dad. I screamed at the sight of both my parents suddenly vanishing from this world, a sudden pain struck my chest and I couldn't breathe. I fall to the ground slowly losing my vision as I see the blue and red lights of police cars approaching my house.

"Miss? Are you okay miss?" the person right next to me calls my attention and brings me back to reality, "Oh, yes I'm fine. Have we arrived?" I look around to see almost everyone out of the train. "Would you need any help getting off? Are you new to the city?" the lady asks me. I shake my head and give her a smile as I head down the aisle to the exit.

I follow the rest of the passengers to exit the station as I turn my phone on to contact Jennie and Lisa, my two best friends. Their parents had offered to get us three an apartment we could all share just so that they could both keep me company. Lisa and Jennie aren't sisters if you were wondering, they just had agreed to live under one roof with me and I'm eternally grateful for that. Not to mention they’re idol trainees.

"Y/N?" I turn my head to see Lisa's straight black hair, "Lisa!!!" We both jump around and giggle, "Wait but where's Jennie?" "Oh, she's getting us another cab because your arrival got delayed." She helps grab my luggage and we both start catching up with each other, as if we’ve never spoken in weeks. This was the first time I had ever seen both Lisa and Jennie in person, all our moms were best friends when they were younger too but since we couldn't visit them often, we met and talked through video calls.

"Well if it isn't our beautiful foreign friend Y/N." I turn around and meet Jennie’s eyes, "JENNIE!!!" I run to hug her and Lisa joins in and I finally don't feel alone anymore. "Girls, the cab is waiting outside, we better hurry." On our way to our new apartment we were all catching up with each other as if we really didn't talk as much already. "Oh hey, Y/N you have to make sure that you're ready to go to school by 7am okay?" Jennie cheerfully said. I was so confused, school started at 8am so why would I have to be ready an hour before school when our place was literally like 10 minutes away. "Wait why do we have to be ready an hour before school? I know our place is like 15 minutes away from school. It's not like you guys take that long to fix yourselves up right?" Lisa and Jennie smiled at me suspiciously, "Well....Y/N you know, you may not know everything about us yet..." "What's there not to know? I've known you guys since the moment I was able to talk." Lisa elbowed me softly, "We’ve got new friends! Like actual men type of friends." My eyes opened wide despite the tiredness I've been experiencing,

How could these two end up befriending guys and just suddenly "forgetting" to tell me about it when they know and are fully aware that we all don’t normally interact with the opposite gender?

"Fine, I'll be ready by 7am on Monday." I say as I roll my eyes, "YAYYY I'M SO EXCITEDDD!!!" both of them scream.

Ugh, 30 minutes have just passed since I arrived in Seoul and I'm already experiencing stress.

As soon as we got off the cab, both my friends had rushed to bring down all my belongings so that I could finally take a look at the place we rented out. Jennie reaches her hand out to me and in her palm, my key to our place. "Hey, have you guys figured out how we'll be getting to school on Monday?" Jennie giggles, "Y/N, you’re lucky we attend the same school. But the guys will pick us up! Plus..they promised to bring Jungkook." Jennie winks at me and flashes me her brightest smile.

Jungkook? I know I've heard that name somewhere, but I just can't remember where.

"We're here!!" The elevator door opens, "Apartment 735" I mutter to myself. I walk along the brightly lit corridor. "732....733...734..." I continue counting, "735!!" The girls rush to my side, "Y/N, this is your first time in our apartment, so you'll have the honor of opening the door with your key" Lisa says with a smile. I reach out for my keys, close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning the key to unlock the door. I hear the light switch turn on and I open my eyes. The apartment was beautiful. I walk in to see the kitchen, it has a small island where I could serve meals to my friends. I honestly enjoy cooking to relieve myself from whatever stresses me out, whether it be school, people or something about football. I’ve loved sports for as long as I can remember but it gets frustrating since I could be quite competitive.

I walked into the next room and I saw our living room, there was a large L-shaped sofa sitting in front of a huge television. In between the sofa and TV, I saw a small wooden table that is most probably multipurpose as being both a study desk and a place to put our snacks when we binge on shows during our free days. Beside the sofa I see a balcony that showcases a beautiful scenery of the city. I walk out and feel the cold breeze on my cheeks, I look up to the sky and I see that the sky had a welcoming gift for me as well. The stars greeted me as they shined brightly upon the night sky and I just can't help but admire the night sky. To my right, I see a bean bag that fits 2 people. I plop down to the bean bag and stargaze for a while.

Mom? Dad? I know you can hear me, I promise I'll make you proud, I'll succeed here in Seoul and become a great doctor.

"Y/N?" I snap back to reality and see Jennie’s head appear, "You haven't even seen your room yet! Come onnnnn!!" I stand back up and follow the girls in another small hallway, there I see 3 doors. "So basically, it's not that we don't want you to have your own room but we wanted one room to be our sort of walk-in closet because I mean who has not dreamed of having one?" I open the first door I see and the place is indeed full of clothes. There were 3 closets in the room, each of the closet doors have our first name initials on it to indicate who owns which closet. I laugh at my best friends, we all enjoy watching all those Barbie movies where they have spectacular closets and I guess you can say that this is the closest we can get to our childhood dreams.

I walk out of the room and take a few steps into the hallway. Lisa rushes to get past me and hold the doorknob, "Okay Y/N, this room is a little different. I know it's not really our style whatsoever but we created a study room." I scrunch my eyebrows, "A study room? Really now? For all of us or for me?" Lisa tucks a stray hair into her ear, "Well, more for you than for us since we know how hard you work and how much more you'll be working to get into med school. But it's a double purpose for a practice room for us too!" I take a step back to look at both my best friends and their grinning faces,

What did I do to deserve these two psychos in my life?

I call them in for a group hug, "You guys, I know you want to make me feel like there's nothing missing anymore in my life and I love you guys for that. I hope you all still remember I'm not a robot though and even if I'll be working hard to get into med school, I'll still be around to party and experience what any normal teenager should be experiencing." I hear Jennie sniffling at my right, "Aw Jen" I rub her back soothingly, "We know that Y/N, we just want the best for you too. We'll always be here rooting for you any time." We all take a step back, "Okay!" Lisa says, "Guys, it's our first night in our own apartment and we're already crying." Everybody laughs, "So I guess this last room is our room?" "It sure is." Jennie opens the door and I see three twin beds side by side. Just like our "walk-in closet" our first name initials are hanging above our head, brightly lit to recognize who owns which bed. I see my initial on top of the bed that lies in between both Lisa and Jennie's.

I drop my luggage off at our closet area and plop back down into the bean bag on the balcony. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.

This is the start of my new life.

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"Take my hands now, you are the cause of my euphoria"

I woke up to the sound of Euphoria, my favorite song in the whole wide-

"WHEN I’M WITH YOU I'M IN UTOPIA"

And of course, the voices of my two best friends singing their hearts out and getting the lyrics messed up.

"Y/N!!! Come on!! It's your first day of school. Did you forget about our breakfast plan?"

Right. Their so-called "breakfast plan" before school. I stand up from my bed and stretch a little before I start making my bed. I stop by the closet first and pick my outfit for today, I pick out a tied crop top, white sneakers, and jeans. I grab my bathrobe and head to the bathroom. I step into the shower and play some music that would help wake me up and get ready for the day. As I continue to wash my hair, I hear a knock on my door,

"Y/N! Are you done?!!"

I roll my eyes. Jeez, they finally got themselves guy friends and now they're going crazy about finishing on time. I wrap a towel around my head to dry my hair. I head back to our dressing room and open my luggage. As I look for my blow dryer and straightener, Lisa barges into the room,

"Y/N Y/L/N, you seem to be too relaxed this morning. You have 30 minutes left to get ready and if you're not ready by then I'm going to drag you to the car." "Don't worry Jen, I'll be done on time. Now can you please stop bothering me so that I can start dressing up?"

I quickly blow dry my hair and put it up in a messy bun. With the remaining time left, this is the best I can do to tame my natural curls. I look at myself in the mirror and check to see if something is missing. I reach out to get my makeup bag and I put on a little blush and add a little lip tint. I search through my accessory bag and look for my small stud earrings. I get my glasses from the table and look at myself in the mirror once more. I'm ready for my first day of school. I leave the dressing room and meet my best friends in our kitchen.

"Oh my goodness Y/N, let's go! We're already 5 minutes late." I grab the schoolbag I prepared last night before heading to bed and leave the apartment. We head to the basement by elevator since Lisa got her license just recently. "Wait Lisa, if you had your license already by the time you picked me up, why did you guys use a taxi to pick me up?" "Oh, uh..I was too lazy to drive that late at night so I just got us a taxi." She starts the car and we head to the exit.

It was my first time ever seeing Seoul in the morning light, the sun hit the skyscrapers so beautifully that it was as if the city was welcoming me as their new citizen. Numerous cars were already out by the time we hit the road because of the rush hour most of them were experiencing. Our school, Seoul National University was just 10 minutes away, our apartment was located a couple blocks away As I was looking out the window, I saw some sort of diner come into view. It looked huge for my definition of a diner since I always saw diners as small joints made for meals, but this diner was different. As Lisa pulled up in the parking area I could see a little bit of the inside, students like us were dining in there as well and there seemed to be a game room on the other side of the dining area. It's around mid-February so the breeze was still cool, Busan was a little warmer during the winter so I had to find a way to adjust to the cooler weather in the city. As my friends and I make our way to the entrance, I notice three heads that turn our way. As we enter the diner however, the smell of freshly made bread, waffles, and eggs hits me and I feel my mouth water. I've been starving and I couldn't wait to try whatever the diner had been serving.

I see three boys in a booth and I make eye contact with one of them, the weird thing is...I felt butterflies in my tummy. I've seen those eyes somewhere, he feels familiar which is of course impossible because I've never met these people in my entire life.

I've never had any guy friends at all. I've always thought about making my parents proud and everything so I focused on getting good scores on all my tests so that I could get into med school. This is all so new to me...having friends of the opposite species. I mean okay, I've watched rom-coms and movies that revolve around love, seeing your friends being treated the way I see couples act in the movies is something I never thought I would be interacting with boys at this point of my life.

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N!" I snap back to reality as Jennie calls my attention. "This is Jimin, Taehyung and the guy still sitting in the booth is Jungkook." Jungkook? I think I know a Jungkook from back home but it's still pretty hard to remember a lot of things. "Sorry, I'm being rude." Jungkook stood up and walked to me, "Jungkook." He held out a hand for me to shake, "Y/N." I say in reply. As our hands touch, there's a familiar warmth that gives me goosebumps. I quickly try to mask the reddness in my cheeks. We all take a seat in the booth and based on the impression of these boys, they seem like athletes. "Hey Y/N," Jimin says, "You should try their Bacon and Waffles here. They sell out like crazy in the mornings." I take a quick glance on the menu and scan quickly for the meal Jimin was talking about. I raise my hand excitedly to call in the waitress to take our orders, "1 Bacon and Waffles, 2 Pancakes and, 3 orders of the Waffles and Chicken all with Orange Juice on the side." The waitress says, "Thanks." I give her a smile in return.

I glance back at my friends after giving the waitress the menu I was holding, Jungkook and I make direct eye contact, his big brown doe eyes, another flood of goosebumps crawl on my skin as he turns away to talk to Taehyung. Why is it that Jungkook looks at me as if he’s seen me before?

The waitress returns with the orders and I start to take a bite off my first meal of the day.

“So Y/N, how was your first night in the city?” Taehyung asked as he picked a strawberry off one of the pancakes, “I stayed up in the balcony just looking at the city lights, the stars were very bright last night. I couldn’t stay up for so long though, it got really cold.” “Y/N loves gazing at stars, she used to try to make Jen and I see the stars in Busan every time we video called.” Lisa says giggling, Jimin gasps and turns to point at Jungkook while eating his waffle, “Jungkook used to drag us out of our homes just to meet at a park to stargaze!” Jungkook shyly looks away and takes a sip of his juice, “Yah” he finally speaks, “You make me sound like a really weird kid Hyung” I laugh at his statement, “Don’t be too embarrassed Kook, looking at the stars are my favorite past time” He tenses up with the nickname as he looks at me, I realize I just gave this guy a nickname on the first day we met. Shit. “Uh, is it okay that I call you Kook?” He nods in return as a smile crept onto his face.

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barbasbodaciousbeard · 3 years

Text

Two Weddings

Summary: Sonny and Victoria eloped, but ma makes them have a ceremony a year later. Fluffy fluff.

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - Four Valentine’s

July 1, 2006

“You’re the one who wanted to sneak off and get married,” Sonny teased gently, his nonna and nonno’s wedding bands in a little box tucked into the pocket of his slacks. He could see the engagement ring he’d given her three weeks before shining in the sun as they stood on the steps of their childhood church. “We’re going to be late for lunch, but they’ll live.”

“I know. I’m just so excited. I’m muting my phone. I wanna just focus on marrying you.”

“You’re sure you wanna do this, Tor? I don’t want you to feel pressured to marry me. Father O’Malley hasn’t signed it, so it’s just a licence.”

“Dominick, it was my idea to elope,” she said, their fingers laced as they entered. They’d gotten their wedding licence the day before, giddy as they went to the courthouse. There was a 24 hour waiting period before they had the officiant and witnesses sign it. They went to visit Father O’Malley, the priest at the church they’d attended together as long as they could remember, and he understood why they were eloping. While moving in together was a part of their goal, the more they’d talked about it, the more they realized it would be nice to get married without having to balance the chaos of the Carisis. Mia was a kid, Teresa was tired from chasing Mia, Gina was away for school, and Bella had also just graduated. They’d be the second wedding and the only son getting married. Sonny wanted to focus on what they were promising each other.

They seemed nonchalant towards marriage, but they only did because they’d always treated their relationship like a marriage. Each of them made decisions with the other in mind, with the kids and life they wanted one day at the forefront. She’d been worried when he went away to school, but her worries were quashed when he went to a party for the first time without her, calling her at one in the morning from the party to tell her how much better it would be with her. She’d known then they’d get married. Now he was in black slacks and a white button down with his sleeves rolled neatly to his elbows and his hair gelled back. When he snuck glances at her in her white sundress, he would catch her sneaking glances at him, and they’d both turn red.

“Our newlyweds-to-be are here,” Sister Bernadette called, and soon enough Father O’Malley joined the trio at the altar with another nun to be the second witness. He was also wise, the nun setting up the tripod and video camera usually reserved for the church kids’ plays. We don’t want Gianna Carisi coming after us. Video may placate her. The marriage certificate and Victoria’s purse in a pew, Father O’Malley began. Both of them knew the format well, clutching each other’s hands.

"Dominick and Victoria, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"

“I have,” they said in unison, and she smiled as Sonny gave her hands a gentle squeeze, grin widening.

"Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?"

“We are.”

“Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

“We are.” Sonny was already crying, and Victoria blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. That’d get to him more. He was the crier, not her.

“Well, now it is time for the vows. Repeat after me-”

“Respectfully, we got this father,” Sonny said, and Victoria did cry when she heard his voice. It was thick with emotion, and the way he stared at her with a broad smile and watery eyes made her feel invincible.

“Well, take it away, Dominick,” Father O’Malley chuckled softly, knowing they’d memorized them together. He could almost picture them saying them as they sat together studying. Sonny had already updated him on how excited they were each of the Sundays between scheduling their wedding certificate and today, speaking in hushed whispers away from his mother. Meanwhile, Victoria had been calling to ask questions, desperate to have everything in order.

"I, Dominick Carisi, take you, Victoria O’Toole, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

"I, Victoria O’Toole, take you, Dominick Carisi, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

“May the Lord in his kindness strengthen the consent you have declared before the Church and graciously bring to fulfillment his blessings within you. What God has joined, let no one put asunder.” Father O’Malley had known he’d be marrying these two soon, but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Both of them had said their vows with shaky voices and broad smiles, and it was amazing to see the children he’d known so long ago marrying now and taking it seriously despite their age. “May the Lord bless these rings, which you will give to each other as the sign of your love and fidelity.”

Sister Bernadette handed them each a band, smiling softly. Neither of them looked away from the other, and Sonny was almost bouncing on the balls of his feet when he spoke again.

"Victoria, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." Sonny’s hand shook as he slid the ring on his hand, and a soft laugh escaped him as he looked back up at her. She wiped her eyes carefully, her hands more steady.

"Dominick, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Suddenly, Sonny was almost in motion, and Father O’Malley was tempted to wait to let him kiss his bride. Victoria had already pulled him closer, smiling wide enough her eyes were almost shut. It was the first time he’d seen her rival her new husband’s smile.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss her now, Dominick.” In a flash, his arms were around Victoria's waist as her hands went to his cheeks. He kissed her sweetly before pecking her lips again and again. Both of them were giddy, laughing, and Sister Bernadette cut off the camera. She promised to email them the video file by the end of the day, and Sonny couldn’t bring himself to remove his arms from Victoria's waist as his chin rested on her shoulder.

“Thank you, father,” Victoria grinned. “I’m sure Ma will be planning a ceremony or reception or something soon. And I wanna go ahead and apologize for the fact she’ll yell at you.”

“I can take it,” Father O’Malley assured her. “You’d have gotten married anyway. And it was nice to see you two get married. And you got to focus on the marriage, not Gianna chasing you around.”

“We gotta get to lunch with them. Thank you father.”

“Congratulations, you two. I’ll see you for mass tomorrow.”

They walked outside, and Sonny was wrapping his arms around her tightly and spinning her as they both giggled. They’d both always known it would happen, and now they were married. He’d found an apartment, and they’d moved him in the week before. She’d packed her room at her mom’s house, and they’d move her in the next day. It was almost surreal because it almost felt like the unspoken was just official now.

“We’re married,” he said, voice managing to be both ecstatic and reverent as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“We are,” she beamed, her hands resting on his sides. “It’s perfect.”

“You’re perfect, Victoria Carisi.”

“That sounds so good, Dom. I can’t wait to go change my name when the marriage certificate comes in.”

“I’ll come with you when you go to the DMV.”

“Ready to go tell Ma?”

“I’m ready to tell everyone.”

The drive was quiet, both of them just holding the other’s hand. Victoria watched him drive with a gentle smile, squeezing his fingers periodically as their neighborhood flew by. Was Ma going to guilt them? Of course. But she’d given him Nonna and Nonno’s rings. She knew as well as Father O’Malley and Sister Bernadette the inevitability of the marriage. The girls would all be sad there wasn’t a wedding and reception happening without Gianna’s pressure, but his dad would be relieved. Once he’d parked, he shot her a crooked grin.

“Ready, Mrs. Carisi?”

“Ready, Mr. Carisi.”

He held her hand in his, smiling softly as he felt the cool metal of his own ring pressed into his skin. It was reassuring like he hadn’t expected. Teresa and Mia opened the door, and the pair made their way through the Carisi girls, boyfriends, and kids before finding Ma in the kitchen. Bella followed them, and it didn’t take long for Victoria to realize she’d been the one to notice the rings first. The youngest Carisi daughter crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen wall as her Ma greeted her brother and Victoria.

“Sonny, what’s that on Tori’s hand?” she asked innocently. “The left hand. You have something on yours too.”

Ma’s eyes flashed to Victoria’s hand, and he watched as she registered a potential engagement but then quickly saw his hand and started to process what had actually happened. He wasn’t sure if she was angry, hurt, happy, or a combination of the three.

“If I don’t get to plan a ceremony, I’ll kill you both.”

“Father O’Malley did the ceremony. He filmed it for you,” Victoria said softly, hanging on Sonny’s arm. “But we can plan a reception.”

“Father O’Malley? So you had your church wedding without us?”

“Ma, we can renew our vows or something.”

“You’re damn right you’ll renew your vows.”

“So you’re going to be mad at Victoria and me instead of happy for us?”

“Of course I’m happy for you,” she said softly, gripping his arms and looking up at him with a gentle smile. “My cielo is married to our stellina. I expected the engagement when she turned eighteen. You’re just my babies, so you’ll be having a wedding later.”

“We love you,” Victoria smiled, giggling when Gianna pulled her and Sonny into a tight hug. She pressed kisses to the top of each of their heads, beaming.

“And I love you both. It’s about time stellina is a Carisi.”

“She’s been a Carisi forever, ma.”

“She’s got the name now.”

“I know,” Sonny grinned. “Victoria Carisi is like the best name I ever heard.”

“When will you have the video?”

“Sister Bernadette said by tonight.”

“You email it to me. And you’ll check before you leave. If you get it while you’re here, we’re all watching, cielo.”

July 1, 2007

“He’s going to cry when he sees you, stellina,” Gianna smiled, pressing a maternal kiss to the top of her head. Her own mother was here, but she had settled in with Teresa and Gina for drinks. Gianna and Bella were helping with the small buttons along the back of the dress. It was strapless with a sweetheart neck, but there was sheer material with lace up to her collar bone and forming sleeves down each arm. She was rocking on the balls of her feet wanting to go to Sonny’s side.

“He always cries,” Bella teased. “But this time it’ll be because his wife is so pretty.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, hands smoothing the satin of the dress’s skirt. “It’s kind of nice having a ceremony for our anniversary. Makes it more like a celebration.”

“Stellina’s mom and I need to go sit. This our beautiful bride.”

“I’ll take care of her from here.”

The last time they’d been in this church for a Carisi family member’s wedding ceremony, it was Teresa and her husband’s. Sonny and Victoria had been middle schoolers, and Teresa had put them in the bridal party. It was almost surreal to know she’d be walking down the aisle alone. Her father wasn’t there to give her away, and it would feel strange to have a woman she rarely saw after she turned sixteen give her away. It had been days before Irene had even known her daughter was married. Bella and Tommy would be the last to walk, and Victoria stood behind them, fiddling with the ribbon of her bouquet. She knew he would think she was beautiful, knew she’d see his dimples and the glimmer in his eyes as he teared up, but some part of her was still nervous. They’d been on their own now for a year, but this almost felt like dress up, them pretending to be adults. Maybe life always would. People would be looking at them too. Center of attention wasn’t her strong suit. They had, however, learned a dance for the first dance, sneaking off to lessons after class and work.

Suddenly, Bella and Tommy were gone, and Victoria was beaming through the nerves as she waited for the bridal march. When it started, she stepped out, her eyes flying to Sonny when she made her way down the aisle. He was as happy as he’d looked when they eloped, and the suit looked perfect. He looked so handsome and sweet and kind, and the reality hit that he really was her husband. Maybe Ma had been right about a wedding. He had lit up, crying as everyone had predicted. She wasn’t the one to cry, but she quickly realized she was now. Sonny had worried his knees would buckle when he first saw her, and they nearly did. More than anything, he felt giddy as he watched her. She was beautiful everyday, but now, walking down the aisle to renew the promises they’d made to each other a year before? He wanted to sear the image into his memory. Some caveman part of his brain liked having an audience for their vows, as much so he could show off his wife as so they could celebrate with friends and family. Since they were already married, they decided to write their own vows when the time came.

“Victoria, I think I shoulda known I was going to marry you when you used to dare me to kiss ya when we were kids and then run off so I’d chase you. It kind of started this thing where I’ll chase you anywhere you want to go, including eloping the first summer we can so that Ma has to plan a wedding for two people who’ve already been married a year. I get to kiss you anytime I want now, though. That part is way better,” he started, his voice light, before he got more serious, hands clutching hers. “ I swear it’s only going to be you. The first and only woman I’ll ever want. No matter what happens, I promise to make you laugh, hold you when you cry, and only be scared of you when you’re driving. The best thing that ever happened is getting to build our life together. Being your husband has been an honor, and I promise to stick with you through the good and the bad.”

“Dominick, I remember when we were kids, I was in school and instead of saying the sky was blue, I said the sky was Sonny’s eyes colored. That’s probably when I should’ve stopped pretending you had cooties because it was probably a sign you were always going to be my favorite person ever,” she said, her voice not as strong as his was. He was used to getting emotional; she wasn’t. “When we were in New Orleans, I realized that the reason I hated every girl you went to a school dance with was because you were supposed to be my date, and that you were supposed to be my date because I wanted you to kiss me. I promise that I’m always going to be there for you, no matter what happens, good, bad, and in between. I’ll always make you cannoli when you’re stressed and celebrate when you’re doing well and be there however you need me when you’re sad. We’ve got forever ahead of us. I promise you won’t be able to get rid of me. You’re it for me.”

When he could, Sonny nearly flung himself at Victoria, arms around her waist pulling her close as he leaned in and kissed her deeply. He flung there clasped hands up with a crooked smile as they made their way down the aisle, meeting his mother and the photographer outside the church doors. They started taking photos, and Victoria wrapped her arm around Sonny, one hand resting on his chest.

“Hi Mrs. Carisi,” he hummed, hand resting on hers.

“It still sounds really good,” she smiled, kissing him softly. “A few more pictures, then we go dance and eat.”

“You ready for our number?”

“Oh hell yeah I am. You ready?”

“Do I got two left feet? You bet. Am I excited to dance with my wife to the song we been singin’ to each other since we were kids? Oh yeah.” He kissed her temple, spinning her as he hummed “You’re my Best Friend” by Queen, and a squeal escaped her.

“Save it for the dance floor.”

“Anything you say, doll.”

“I love you, Dom.”

“And I love you, Tor.”

@cycat4077

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x oc #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #writing

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ahoodgirl · 3 years

Text

♡ marry me / surprise ♡ {victor tan (swat)}

> its gonna be a long one, folks! <

> warnings: sex – 18+ only! <

> words: 1,978 <

> listen to: marry me by train <

> author's note: to all my Victor Tan / SWAT fans! you're gonna love this! I love each and every members of swat, but Victor, oohf, i have a *very* soft spot for him, deeeep in my heart. So of course, I had to write something marriage wise, along with their first time and the flight to the winter cabin, etc., etc,. Theres gonna be three parts to this.. I like to change it up with the names in each story/fic I write so in this one, the girls name is Miya Ashleigh Daniels/Tan. Tell me what you think, if i should make this a series or not. So please, enjoy this long read of 'Marry Me / Surprise' fic imagine for Victor Tan. <

> P A R T O N E — the wedding <

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

It was the day everyone was looking forward to, the day that both Victor and I were patiently waiting for, and now its finally here... our wedding day.

We decided that, instead of a church wedding, we'd get married in our best friends barn in his back yard then have the reception at a close–by venue.

We got engaged exactly a year and a half ago, knowing we'd want a winter wedding, exactly a week before christmas. We found a little snowy cottage in the mountains that we wanted to stay at / go to for our honeymoon.

My dress came in last month, and it fits me perfectly. Vic had his since last year, knowing he'd have to keep in shape in order for him to still be able to wear it, when everything finally comes into fruition.

We only invited our friends and family, total wedding and reception maxing out 50, we invited 40. Plenty of room to have a good time.

My maid of honor ‐ Deacon's wife Annie - helped me get into my dress while my two other bridesmaids ‐ Chris and Molly ‐ did my hair and makeup. I was okay with Chris not wearing a dress, as she opted for a dark purple and black pantsuit instead.

Once I got dressed and Vic's best man came for me ‐ Deacon himself ‐ I do my best to keep myself together as we walk to the front doors of the barn.

Since my dad nor my mom is here to walk me down the aisle, Deacon took it upon himself to take on that duty, not taking no for an answer. So here we are at the doors waiting for the famous song to be played, and Deac turns to me and says, "your beautiful. Victor's gonna be a crying mess when he sees you." I laugh as I hold back tears. "Don't cry, your gonna mess up your makeup." I chuckle and reply "who needs makeup when you're in love with someone who loves you no matter what you look like, makeup or no makeup. But thank you, Deacon, for being my shoulder to walk me down the aisle. It means, a lot since my dad's not here to do it."

Before he could respond, we hear our signal and fix ourselves. I hang onto Deacons arm with my left hand while my right holds onto my bouquet and the bottom of my dress as the barn doors are opened. I see everyone standing, the only person standing out to me tremendously, my soon–to–be husband, Victor Tan. And just like Deacon said, once he saw me he couldn't stop the flow of tears from his eyes. I did my best to keep my composure so my makeup wouldn't look like a wreck if front of our guests. As Deacon hands me off to Victor and gets back to his spot behind the groom, I hand my bouquet to Annie and step in–front of Vic and grab both his hands as the officiant starts the ceremony.

♡

"I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride." Victor smiles and leans in to give me one of the best kisses yet. We turn to our guests and the officiant says, "I pronounce to you, Mr. & Mrs. Victor Tan!" We kiss one more time and walk out of the barn holding hands, smiling.

We get into the rented range rover and drive to a nearby abandoned building and park.

We both agreed to wait to have sex once we're married, but to also not wait once we're somewhere private, either. So we opted for car sex. Passionate, sexy and meaningful.

Once he parks, we hurry to the back seat, put both seats down and strip ourselves naked, making sure not to waste anymore time than we've already lost by driving to our 'abandoned–building–sex' location.

He wastes no time in getting behind me, pushing himself inside and roughly thrusting in and out, his fingers leaving bruises behind from the amount of pressure he's putting on my hips.

As he fucks me harder from behind, I hold onto the pushed–up seat in-front of me and groan out loudly, my mouth open wide giving him the opportunity to grab my face and pull it towards him, kissing my lips as his fingers dig deep into my hips, searching for his high.

"Vic, aagh!" hearing me moan out his name gives him the drive to push forward and hit my gspot rapidly, his orgasm hitting him like a train, his cum spewing inside my vagina.

Once we've finished our spontaneous adventure, we quickly clean ourselves up and drive to our reception.

Victor parks in the 'just–married' parking spot and shuts the engine off. We make sure that we're put together right and get out, then hand–in–hand walk to the doors just in time as our announcer announces us and we walk through the doors holding our hands above our heads.

We walk to our table and find our seats ‐ Mr. & Mrs. ‐ and sit down.

We eat our meal, and dessert ‐ you know I had to smash cake in his face; he did too ‐ before it's time for our first dance.

After everything's done, and the reception is finished, it was time for pictures.

Our photographer snapped many photos ‐ some we loved and some we didn't ‐ and everything was good. You could just *tell* how happy Victor looked. You could tell. That look he gave me, was the same one he gave me while we were fucking in the rental car, just hours before our reception ‐ pure lust ‐ my favorite 'private moment' between us so far.

After pictures, we thank eveyone for coming, then leave in the rental range rover and head to our hotel, where we'll stay the night, then early that next morning ‐ 3:40 am ‐ we'll get up, pack and fly to our honeymoon.

> P A R T T W O — the honeymoon <

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

After Victor unlocks the front door, we finally walk in the cabin we're staying at for our honeymoon, and drag our luggage to our room. We spend a few hours in our room to ourselves, not coming out until it was 3am ‐ we were both hungry so I had to make something ‐ then going back for the rest of the night.

We finally came out of the room at 2, deciding to go outside and adventure, along with a few snowball fights as well.

A snow war, two snow forts and a shit ton of snowballs later, we go inside for some hot chocolate.

Victor takes off all his coats and his boots then goes to the cabinet and grabs two packets of hot chocolate. I take off my coats and my boots as well then sit on the couch in front of the fireplace and wait.

"I can't believe you ambushed me! Your own husband!" I laugh as he hands me my mug of hot chocolate full of marshmallows. "Yeah, thats something you should get used to." he laughs and sits down beside me.

"do you think anyone knew what we did after they announced us?" I laugh so hard, I sneeze chocolate out of my nose. "I don't think they had a clue, but you did fuck me good though, I'll give you that." he smiles. "thank you. I'll except that compliment, and raise you higher on that tonight."

We finish our hot chocolates and go back outside to the snow.

♡

It was two days before Christmas and we had already planned to stay at his moms until after New Years.

We pack that night and get everything ready for when we wake up early tomorrow morning to leave for the airport headed back home.

> P A R T T H R E E — home <

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

After an hour flight we finally land and grab our luggage and get off the plane. We go through baggage then head to security check. We walk outside to find his mom waiting for us. We stuff our bags in her car and she drives off.

An hour after we've gotten to his moms home, we settle in and get everything set and ready for Christmas ‐ and a surprise I've been waiting so long to give/tell him - as we both fall asleep peacefully next to each other.

♡

On Christmas morning, Victor surprised me with breakfast in bed ‐ grits {w. cheese}, waffles, bacon, milk and orange juice ‐ then we go open presents with his mom in the living room.

His mom got me some stuff for our new house, I got her a new pot and pan, she got Victor some underwear and socks ‐ to which he was embarrassed that she knew his size ‐ and he got his mom a photobook full of his childhood and adulthood memories.

Victor grabbed my present from behind the couch and handed it to me. I opened it and was shocked ‐ an ornament with a picture of us at our wedding, saying 'Victor & Miya, our first Christmas 2019.' "aww, Victor. You didn't have to do this," I smile then stand up to give him a hug and kiss. "but my present is better," he looks at me in confusion as I grab the final box under the tree ‐ a small box ‐ and smile, handing the box to Victor.

He looks at me with a weird face, but unwraps the red ribbon and pulls the top off the box, then he looks at me. "w–what?" I nod my head as I take a sip of my hot chocolate. "you're, pregnant?" I set my mug down on the coffee table in front of me and turn to Victor. "I found out last week. I wanted so badly to tell you, but I figured since Christmas was coming up I might as well wait. So I put all three tests in this box and wrapped it up, then made sure it was hidden so you wouldn't grab it first." Vic's mom was so happy, she started crying tears of joy. We all hugged each other then threw away all the trash from the presents.

Victor's mom makes up food while I get all the drinks ready and set them on the table. He helps her plate the food and hands them to me to take to the table.

♡

After we eat and Vic and I help wash dishes, we sit down on the couch and put on a movie.

After the ending credits rolled through, Victor realized I was asleep and carried me to the room, then got in beside me and also fell asleep with him cuddling me.

New Years Eve came around, and we had a party at our house. Everyone from SWAT was invited and we had drinks and plenty of snacks for everyone.

We all kept an eye on the time ‐ 10am became 2pm which then became 5pm ‐ until finally 11:18pm rolled around. Only 42 minutes left until New Years.

11:25, 11:35, 11:45, 11:55, then came 11:58, only two minutes until New Years.

Once it hit 11:59, everyone started counting down from 60 ‐ 50, 40, 30, 20, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, ‐ "5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!" everyone yelled out as Victor's lips found mine and captured them in a kiss, ready for whatever the new year brings us.

#ahoodgirl #david lim #victor tan #vt swat #vt fluff #victor tan swat #marry you #wedding #after‐wedding sex #honeymoon #snow barn #Christmas #new years #surprise #pregnant #01.10.21

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nicolewoo · 4 years

Text

The Big Day Part 1

Pairing: Joe Anaoi X Reader (Roman Reigns X Reader)

Synopsis: Although Joe hasn’t kept the destination a surprise, he’s got a few tricks up his sleeve, and one knocks the Y/N off her feet.

Warnings: Nothing. Just fluff and mention of a bad childhood.

Who the hell uses an alarm on vacation? I thought to myself as Joe’s phone beeped until he grabbed it and stopped the alarm. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me in until we were spooning. As he settled back down, Joe grumbled for a second before quickly remembering what day it was and popping up excitedly. “C’mon babe. We’ve got big plans today.” Joe hopped out of bed quickly and tried to pull me up. Just as I was going to protest, there was a knock on the door.

“Out of bed, sleepyheads!” Dwayne yelled out. “Vanessa is here, Joe.”

Joe called out, “Do you ever sleep, dude?” We heard Dwayne laugh. “Be out in a minute.”

We quickly got dressed and were getting ready to join the others when Joe wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to a stop. I turned around to see what he wanted. “Now,” he kissed the tip of my nose. “Today, we are going to a Samoan Independence Day celebration, and you’re going to need a traditional, Samoan dress. Vanessa and Lauren are going to take you to a special store to get it.”

I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know Vanessa was here, and I’d only met her once. I knew the Samoan Independence Day was a big celebration. That must be the reason Vanessa, Dwayne and Joe came here. “Is this some sort of reunion?”

Joe nodded, “Yes. In our family, Independence Day is also a time to return to the land of our ancestors to reconnect to the land and each other.” I accepted his answer, but something was still off. He wasn’t telling me everything, but I trusted him. “They’re going to take you shopping now, and then we will meet you back here so we can get ready to go to the celebration.”

=============================================================

I’m not sure what I expected. The words “family reunion” conjured up a picture of people huddling in pavilions of parks with plastic tablecloths flopping in the wind and tacky matching t-shirts. Honestly, I’d never been to a family reunion, but this wasn’t what I expected to see.

We’d parked in a church parking lot and made our way to a giant house across the road, but instead of going in, we went around the side. As the party came into view, I was blown away. The ocean was just a couple hundred yards away from the house. A tent large enough to house a small village was set up in the middle with a small temporary stage under it. Another gargantuan tent was filled with tables, and food, set up in a buffet style. More giant tents dotted the beach between the house and the ocean. There was beauty everywhere. Honestly, it looked like a luau. Tiki torches, floral leis, rattan, flower arrangements on the tables and people dressed in everything from traditional Samoan clothing to shorts and t-shirts. There had to be at least 100 people there, and I’m pretty sure we were in someone’s back yard.

“Um. I forgot to bring a dish.” Joe admitted.

Dwayne put his hand on Joe’s shoulder. “I got ya covered.” He passed Joe to go greet people and called behind him, “We bought the pigs. You owe me $400.”

Joe put his hand on the small of my back chuckling, and explained that in Samoan culture, you never show up to a gathering empty handed.

“It’s Fa’a.” I smiled at him, and he looked surprised. “I’ve been researching Samoan customs since we got together.”

He grinned in delight. “Are you ready?” I wasn’t elated at the prospect of being around this many people, but I nodded yes. Joe kissed my forehead before we walked toward the party.

=============================================================

“Leati!” Joe’s dad greeted us with a surprised look. “I didn’t know you were coming.” He wrapped Joe in a giant hug.

“Thought I’d surprise you.” Joe beamed at the older man. “I brought a few people with me.”

“Dwayne!” Sika said as he hugged the bigger man. “Where’s your family?”

Dwayne called out to Lauren and she walked our way. “Lauren is here, and my daughters will be here soon.” His daughters would be here soon? I didn’t know that. “They’re coming with mom.”

Sika and Lauren greeted each other, and then the older man’s eyes fixed on me. “Leati, you’ve brought a young lady?” There was a deeper meaning to the way he said it.

Joe’s face lit up in the brightest smile, and he leaned over to whisper to his dad, who nodded back. Joe turned to me and introduced me. “Dad, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N, this is my dad Sika and stepmother Patricia.”

I gave them the warmest smile I could, even though Joe was keeping a secret from me. “It’s an honor.” I shook hands with them.

“Vanessa is here, and mom is coming today too.” Joe explained, and as he did Sika’s eyes got wider.

“We’ll have a fine time.” He smiled at me.

We stayed close to Sika and his wife as we ate, and that allowed me to relax and get used to everything. We didn’t start mingling until Joe was sure I was ready. He really was the sweetest.

=============================================================

We spent the first few hours talking to everyone. I knew I wouldn’t be able to remember everyone’s names, but Joe assured me it was ok. It didn’t take long though, before everyone knew my name. I gathered this was the first time Joe brought a date to this.

We ate, drank, talked, played with kids, and laughed. A variety of music played over a speaker system I couldn’t see; both what I’m guessing was traditional Samoan to current R&B hits and everything in between. There was a lot of laughter and good times. Everyone was so welcoming, that my normal social anxiety began to fall away.

As the party went on, more and more people arrived, including Dwayne’s daughters and Joe’s mom. I gave up trying to count. There were people everywhere. Children played freely, watched by all the adults. The elderly were waited on hand and foot, and everyone was having a great time.

The sun was low on the horizon when everyone took their seats. On the stage was a row of chairs with a larger, throne type seat in the center. I wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but there was an energy running through the crowd.

Joe guided us to a table off to the left side of the stage, and we waited as the guests settled down, some at tables, some on blankets laid out in the sand. “Vanessa,” Joe pointed to the other side of me. “Sit here, please.” She did and Joe’s mom sat on the other side of her. “Vanessa is an expert on Samoan culture and is way better at the language than me, so I’ve asked her to translate and explain the show for you.”

I turned and thanked Vanessa before asking, “What did he have to trade for your services tonight? She and I both laughed.

“Tickets to Super Bowl,” she answered.

“Nice!”

Men in traditional Samoan garb got on stage, and drums began to pound, bringing cheers and applause from the crowd. The men on stage lined up into two rows and began to dance. Vanessa leaned toward me, “They’re starting tonight’s program with a Fa'ataupati or Samoan slap dance said to have evolved from the moves involved in slapping away mosquitoes.”

=============================================================

We sat enjoying drinks as the show went on. Three dances later, and the seats on stage began to fill up with elders of the family. Vanessa translated as the high priest prayed for the island, it’s people and the state of the family.

3 young men and one young woman all in traditional clothing took the stage and lit batons on fire. Vanessa explained that in the past Samoans were explorers, who brought light and love to islands around the South Pacific, and the family honored them by sharing their light with us. The performers were amazing, and I couldn’t take my eyes off them, but as they began to throw fire batons to each other, I was mesmerized.

After the dances, everyone calmed down. The high chief sat on the throne type seat and greeted the crowd. Vanessa translated the whole thing. He began reciting the history of the family from generations ago until now. I listened intently while Vanessa translated. I’d done a lot of research on Samoan culture, but there was no way I could find out the history of the family, so I drank in every bit of information I could. After his opening speech, the dancers did 2 more dances.

The High Chief stood and addressed the crowd again. “It is tradition in our family that when a Samoan warrior finds his mate, the couple shall come to the elders of our family for a blessing on the union. Each elder will talk to them and counsel the high chief. After the elders, a witness can advocate for the couple. Then the chief takes that counsel and decides if the union will be blessed.” The high chief called a name out, and a young Samoan man dressed in traditional garb came to stand before the chief. He spoke a few words in Samoan, and then the chief called out another name. I watch as a stunning Samoan woman in traditional dress came forward, joining both hands with the man standing before the chief. She spoke a few words in Samoan. “What did the couple say?” I whispered to Vanessa. “They are declaring their love, much like wedding vows. Each person writes their own.”

Next, an older woman came to stand next to the couple. She looked just like the young lady, leading me to believe she was probably the woman’s mom. She placed her hands on the couple’s and spoke. Vanessa translated, “My beautiful daughter has grown to womanhood, and is ready to become a wife and mother. I am proud of the woman she has become, and Rangi has been a blessing to her. I feel this union will strengthen the family. I beseech the elders and our high priest to bless this union.”

The chief dramatically pondered, finally raising a staff like stick and pounding the bottom against the ground 4 times. The whole party erupted in rowdy cheers and applause. Immediately, two young girls no older than 6 or 7 came forward with leis they placed on the couple.

Then the chief came forward. He wrapped another lei across the couple’s hands. He laid his hands over theirs and began to speak. Vanessa was quick to translate, “The chief says that the elders of the tribe have observed the couple, and feel that the union will be a blessing to the family, and it is his honor to bless the union.” She paused for a second as she listened to him speak before smiling and saying, “As a family, it is our responsibility to mentor and counsel this couple as they journey through life. It is the family’s responsibility to help them raise the next generation of Samoans. He’s asking the tribe to pledge their support. I listened as the whole crowd recited something.

Finally, at a quiet word whispered by the chief, the couple kissed. Without warning, the young man knelt at the foot of the lady, catching a ring box tossed to him by a member of the family, and although I couldn’t hear them, I could tell he proposed. Her hands flew to her face and his smile lit up the whole party as she said yes.

Everyone went wild. There was applause, wild war cries and stomping and loud drums. After a few minutes, the chief banged his staff against the floor, causing everyone to settle down. “Settle down. Settle down. We will celebrate in a bit, but we have more business to handle.” I don’t know if I was more shocked that he was speaking English or that he was able to take control of the rowdy crowd so easily.

As the crowd took their seats again, he began speaking Samoan again. Vanessa translated, “It is our responsibility to care for those who are alone. I have been alerted that there is an orphan who is seeking admittance into our family. Please make your presentation.” Joe rose and took place in front of the chief. He began speaking Samoan, and this time Vanessa didn’t translate. Wait! Was he? Was he talking about me? Joe wanted me to join the family? Before I could even think about everything that meant, the chief called my name.

“Y/N. Please come stand by Leati.” He said in English. I did, feeling a bit of my social anxiety again, but when he took my hands and stared in my eyes, I relaxed. “Leati, you have asked that the counsel consider accepting this orphan into our family. Y/N,” the chief turned to me. “Have you parents to care for you.” The question was weird. I’m an adult… not a child, and yet, the answer was no. “Members of the family have observed you. Who in our family would like to accept Y/N?”

I was shocked as Joe’s father stood. I hadn’t noticed he was seated on the stage. He was an elder. Behind Joe, I saw his sister, Dwayne and Lauren stand. Then I noticed others standing. I scanned the room to find Joe’s mom, The Fatu brothers and Naomi, who I didn’t know were here, all standing as well as many of the people I’d met today. I hadn’t even seen The Fatus arrive. My heart swelled as the high chief smiled at me. “Y/N, it seems there are a number of family members who wish you to join our family. “Elders, what say you?” He turned to face the row of seats behind him. Answering one at a time, each member said “Ioe.”

Joe smiled at me and said, “That means yes.”

I was all smiles now. This show of support was beyond heartwarming. “Y/N. Our family is offering to accept you as one of our own, to care for you when needed, to support you when warranted and to love you unconditionally. Will you accept our invitation?”

“Ioe.” I answered and the crowd got rowdy again. The applause was drowned out by the cheers.

When the chief settled the crowd, Joe looked expectantly at him. “Leati has also asked for a blessing on this relationship. Do the elders agree to this blessing?

I listened as each one said “Ioe.”

“And who among the family will stand up for this couple? Suddenly a chorus of voices rang out yelling “Ioe. Ioe. Ioe.” I looked to find the Fatu families yelling the loudest, and I smiled sweetly at them. Sika stood, coughing to get the attention of the Chief, before saying, “Ioe”.

“Then it is an honor to bless this union.” The two young children came out to put leis on Joe and me before the High Chief laid a lei across our hands and spoke the same words he’d spoken with the other couple.

There was a terrifying moment as I wondered if Joe was going to propose as the first young man had, but when the Chief was done, Joe led me back to our table. Everyone stood for hugs and congratulations. I hugged and thanked everyone for their support. The Fatu families joined us now. “I can’t believe you’re here!” I said as I went to hug Naomi.

“We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” John said to me. “Welcome to the family Sister Uce.”

Joe wrapped an arm around my waist from behind and pulled my body against his chest. “Welcome to the family Sister Uce.” He whispered in my ear.

I turned to face him. “I can’t believe you did all this.”

“This is the family you deserve.” He kissed me softly.

Then I heard a voice I knew, but there was no way….. I found Jimmy had his cell phone pointed at me, and I realized we were in a group chat. Seth, Becky, John Good and Renee were all on the screen cheering me.

“Guys? You knew?” I grabbed the phone.

“Yeah! Dis is w’at we were hidin’ from ya’” Becks laughed.

“Well, you did it. You all really shocked me. Thank you!”

@mindofasagittaruis @lclb13

#joe anaoi #roman reigns

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lynndoublelegacy · 3 years

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just a cool dnd meme i saw

Yook so it’s less a meme and more like. a big ol questionare but hey, might as well do it. originally saw it on @/probablyottrpgideas, go check them out

1. Game Master, Player, or both? Why?

Ok so technically I’ve DMed twice but I really don’t find it fun? and don’t ever want to do it again. so. Player. I like building characters and their connections with fellow PCs more than building worlds

2. When did you start roleplaying? How old were you?

oh god, if we’re talking about roleplaying in general? I’ve been doing it basically as long as I can remember. As a kid I would play House, and then once I got older in like 5th grade I actually started making characters and playing out their stories with friends. Google+ is what made me realize this was actually like, a THING, though, and I got into some roleplaying groups there, then on DevaintArt. Dungeons and Dragons is a newer development? I got into it in late 2018 when my sister’s friend invited us to a one-shot, and... well, yea, I got hooked lol

3. What was the first roleplaying book you ever owned?

dude, bold of you to assume I really own any. I don’t have that kind of money and literally only own the Guide to Wildemount, and that was a gift

4. Describe the first game you ever ran or played in.

I mean... it’s not a game but ima describe the one shot, bc my first campaign was a hot mess without a true storyline and I used the same character for it anyway. I played a tiefling bard called Aisling Kai (I didn’t know this was a cliche combo at this point, and I honestly played her like a rogue with a music motif but Whatever) and we were a little group tasked to figure out why the hell anyone who goes into this cave never comes out. So we go in, make our way through the dungeon, fight some frog people (I made one of their ears bleed just by getting a nat 20 on a performance check to play a high f# on flute, that was fun, FWEET), and turns out yep, theres a hill giant down here. We kicked his ass and collapsed the cave on top of us (dw I think we were fine but my memory is a little screwy)

5. What system did you grow up with? / 6. Which system do you play now?

i learned on and currently play dnd 5e. I don’t really know anything else, but I’m debating checking out Vampire of the Masquerade.

7. Longest campaign you’ve run or played in?

That would be my Tal’Dorei campaign group, aka The Fatefallen! Started in the Fall of 2019 and still going to this day, just played our 45th session last week. I play Ilia Liadon, the drow grave cleric, and the only member of our party who has been there for every single session since the beginning.

8. Where did you meet your current gaming group?

...well first I feel the need to mention that I have 3 different groups (2 of them are on hiatus now for pandemic related reasons but! we’re still groups). My first group (with Aisling) was formed slowly over time as friends adopted friends into the group, I think it started as a school club? but that didn’t last long. The other two started from a different school club as well, though one has since branched out into other people as well.

9. Strategic combat or dramatic plotlines?

I am a roleplayer first and a gamer second. Give me all of the backstories and dramatic plotlines. Don’t get me wrong, I still like combat, but story takes precedent for me.

10. Favorite RPG genre?

I don’t tend to define myself by genre? But I tend to fall into more of a fantasy, at most arcanapunk style. Give me all of the magic, and magic powered tech.

11. Your first character.

I got into her a little bit earlier, but my first character was Aisling, aka Calypso Kai. She was a homebrew subclass bard with a criminal background, who honestly? should’ve been a rogue. I’ve since rebuilt her into an Assassin Rogue/College of Eloguence Bard multiclasser, but this iteration was like. Baby her, baby me new to dnd, I did not know what I was doing. She tried to be edgy, but my mom energy came through HARD and she just. Never really had a set characterization. She deserves better and I plan on playing her better sometime in the future.

12. Your favorite character.

You are making me choose between my children. BUT, if I had to pick, either Ilia Liadon, or! Ashe Wednesday, a protector aasimar drunken master monk and my profile picture. Ashe also deserved a lot better from their campaign, so I have a massive soft spot for them, they were made during a really tough time in my life (as was Ilia) and was going through an equally rough time in-game, since I made them for a Curse of Strahd campaign without understanding what I was getting into. They’re my little rebellious asshole and I love them dearly, someone get this kid therapy. Ilia, on the other hand, is just... she’s a comfort character for me at this point. mostly soft edges, such a mom- while Ashe was me yelling “come at me” at the world while crying, Ilia was just... embracing it. Making it better. basically, if they actually existed, I would die for both of them.

13. Your most ridiculous character.

I don’t usually play super ridiculous characters, but! I would say Keothi “Bookfinder” Vaimeil counts. She was basically me looking all of the goliath barbarian stereotypes in the eye, and going “nah. she’s a nerd.” She’s literally a massive puppy dog, just the sweetest big old thing, sitting in her house and reading all the books she can get her hands on in order to make up for her amnesia. Oh, and did I mention that she’s a zombie? ...yea. She’s wacky, but I love her.

14. The best in-character line you’ve ever had.

“I need sleep. I don’t even sleep and I need sleep.”

~Ilia, after a particularly tough fight and an emotionally draining day

15. Your most epic death.

Ok so... none of my characters in game have ever actually died during the storyline? Keothi obviously has in her backstory, and Ilia might have in hers as well, it was never explicitly stated, but during the game? Nope. Ashe got stupid close, but nope. Since Keothi is my only death period, and her death was pretty epic, I’m just gonna describe that. Her parents and siblings in her Goliath tribe had all fallen ill, so she decided to go searching for a possible cure, and ended up getting conned into helping this cult, since they said they would cure her family. Turns out, yea, they were lying, they just needed a goliath willing to sacrifice themselves with a cursed sword. They made the mistake of revealing this before Keothi was actually dead, so as she was dying, she brought the entire goddamn cultist temple down to the bottom of the sea and took the cultists with her. The sword was why she was undead, in the Shadowfell, and couldn’t remember anything.

16. Your most disappointing death.

As mentioned, I’ve never died in campaign, but I feel like I have to mention this one that happened to our party in Curse of Strahd. We were in the death house, all 5 of us, still level 1, and our barbarian falls into a pit trap with spikes. None of us realize she’s actually dead, so we send out paladin down to get her... with the monk, the bard, and the warlock holding the rope. ....yea both of them died.

17. Something that shouldn’t have worked, but it did.

I’m stuck between two options for this one. First one was the time our water genasi paladin/rogue bloodbended our gnome cleric into a bridge to keep her from falling all the way down a ravine. The second time was when our party managed to defend a small seaside town from a pirate raid with just an NPC with Control Water, a ballista, ourselves, and some explosives. Neither should’ve worked, but both did. Having a triton in your party can really come in clutch in a seaside campaign.

18. Something that went hilariously awry.

I have one that’s hilarious and one that’s horrifying. Hilarious one: in my first ever campaign, someone from Aisling’s backstory popped up and our sorcerer went “that’s shady” (to be fair, he was) and then went to investigate BY HIMSELF. He obviously got kidnapped by the mafia, and then we went all stealth mission to break him out. Stealth was immediately abandoned after our other bard used a SCREAMING SWORD to break open the locks, then we proceeded to go out the way we came, setting everything on fire on the way out, and with our bard lying their way out the front door (with the rest of us in tow as “prisoners”) by pretending to be a fellow mafia member. It was great. Horrifying one: Ilia tries to Send to a member of the party who left in order to let him know that a fellow party member had died. Forgot that he left bc his mind was invaded by a previously dead, very evil old god, and ends up trapped there with him for a while. Ended up with all of our main spellcasters trapped in their own heads while the barbarian paced around worriedly and the rogue decided he was going to get smashed instead of worrying himself silly.

19. Your most memorable in-character moment.

There are a LOT in Ilia’s campaign, but! If I had to pick one, it would actually be a pretty recent one involving Ilia and our party’s wizard, Liara. They’re basically the embodiment of head vs heart? Anyway, Liara is currently suffering from something called magic corruption, though idk if suffering is the right word. Anyway! It basically resulted in her getting... possessed? by her own magic during the night during Ilia’s watch, and they had a really, really interesting conversation regarding guilt, death, and grief, and yea basically I love them. Honorable mention to our druid’s death (he’s back and better now, but that was my first long-time death in a game, we didn’t know he was coming back) and also the moment that Ilia realized that her childhood bff/crush had been revived in a new body and that this NPC was her best friend. That was a trip.

20. The coolest item you ever got and how you came to possess it.

I got this item in the revamp of my first ever campaign and nothing has topped it since which is Sad but hey. Anyway! I got this really cool, possibly cursed dagger after I threw a knife at an absolutely eldritch being and it got stuck in him as he transformed. It looked really badass, and allowed me to cast Inflict Wounds on occasion when I stabbed someone with it. So yea, we love that. Honorable mention to my paladin/bloodhunter’s Helm of the Aberrant Gladiator which allows you to basically do a bunch of fear based affects and psychic stuff.

Numbers 21 through 30 don’t apply to me but. yea. enjoy this summary of my dnd history I guess

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #d&d 5e #dnd meme #i would like to apologize to Vail and Zohros #they deserved better than to be briefly mentioned but their campaigns are also on hiatus #so they're not overly relevant rn #vail is the paladin/bloodhunter #zohros is the triton #he's a rogue

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chronicle-21 · 3 years

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My first tumblr post.

I want to discuss something that has been on my mind recently. It has bothered me deep down for many years, and the feeling of not saying anything is painful. I hope that by writing this, others are able to relate.

My high school friends were never my true friends. There. I said it. Years of never saying anything that I wanted to say to them because I was young and too nice. I was afraid of having no friends. If I ever said anything, I made the mistake of pouring my heart out on social media. Dumb mistake, but I was desperate for someone to understand.

I think part of the issue was that our families were way different raising us. My family was lower middle class, and sometimes my father did not have a job. We did not always have much money, but we got by okay. We never took true vacations or went out of state for anything. My parents scrounged at every penny to save up to send us to Disney for marching band in high school. One of my favorite memories. As teenagers, my siblings and I learned the value of money. When I turned 16, my parents made me get a job. I have worked ever since then (I’m almost 30). It was from then on that I bought everything (for the most part) myself. I felt the pain of buying things with my measly minimum wage jobs, whereas my friends had their parents pay for everything. I won’t lie, growing up I’d be a bit jealous. I never spoke of it. It was deep down. I wished that my parents would pay for everything. As an adult, I know and understand my parents situation, and I believe that it has humbled me and taught me empathy for others. My friends didn’t understand this at all. I’m glad their families had the ability to afford their lives, but I also think they did them a disservice.

Once we all graduated high school, we all went our separate ways and went to different universities. People grow and change, and that’s okay! When we first met back up on school holiday breaks, I noticed that they became, I don’t know, egotistical? Narcissistic? Full of themselves? They were all in a similar major dealing with med school, while I was getting my degree in education. I sensed that they didn’t take my major seriously. I understand that they had similar stories and class information that they were excited to share with each other, but it was all they talked about. I could never get a word in edge-wise. I felt like a third wheel. It became so that EVERYTIME we hung out, they would only talk about themselves and their classes. I just couldn’t relate. None of my classes were science or math related (or at least not on that level). It got to the point where I met them a restaurant after not seeing them for six months or more and they never talked to me or asked how I was doing. They greeted and acted like they liked seeing me, but I don’t think they cared much beyond that. I just sat there and listened. I could have interjected, but that would be rude. I could have tried to put my two cents in, but I just could not relate. It was one of the first real breaking points in our friendship that I realized that they didn’t care about me. I was beneath them.

I was sent on this downward spiral of realizing over all these years that I was: 1) Not going to fit in with them, ever. 2) Always be viewed as beneath them. And 3) They didn’t care about me truly. Let me explain. Please. I beg. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Here’s some examples that stick out to me.

-Growing up, we would give gifts to each other and like I had mentioned, we didn’t have much money. My parents would sometimes give $20 to split between three friends for Christmas or birthdays. Sometimes it would be my paycheck money. I would often find gifts at Walmart (for example, cheap jewelry, shirts, cute accessories, etc) or places like Big Lots, or sometimes things at the mall if something was priced right. I can remember one of the friends saying, “Oh, did you get this at the dollar store?” I remember feeling embarrassed. Trying to find a gift on a budget, and I felt like a fool. It gets worse.

-I used to buy jewelry candles back when they were a craze. I loved the surprise of not knowing if you’ll get a real piece of jewelry or not. I remember I found several rings that were real stones and real silver. Not diamonds but I felt excited to have real silver and real gemstones. I wore them out to eat and one of my friends commented that they liked my rings. I explained jewelry candles. My other friend spoke up and said, “Yeah, they look like something you get from a ring candle.” I’m not here to impress you people. I was wearing it because it made me happy. Similarly, they would look at what brand purse or jacket I was wearing and comment on it. Sometimes almost implying I got it thrifting like I couldn’t just buy it full price. (I was an adult at this point and working full time).

-My high school graduation party, none of my friends came. They were all supposedly on vacation. Fine. I can’t do anything about that. Let it be known that I went to all of theirs and bought them all gifts. Better gifts than I had ever gotten them before (had a better job with more hours in school). Never got any gifts from them.

-Was a bridesmaid, in one friend’s wedding. I probably shouldn’t have agreed to do it, but I was. My others friends were bridesmaids, as well plus some of her friends from college. The bride was the one I was closest to. The whole thing with the other bridesmaids was beyond stressful. The bride had no maid of honor but one acted like they were. She was one of the friends from high school. She had us do all these super extra unnecessary things last minute. I found out later that these extra things were part of her gift! I spent hundreds on this wedding that wasn’t mine and she had the nerve to do everything free and play our hard work off as her gift because she was cheap. We had all made that gift ourselves and she had the nerve to make it her gift since it was her idea. She had her masters at that point and was working a good job. I worked at a grocery store going to school part time. I had went and took a painting class for one of my gifts that was customized. I paid $280 for a bridesmaid dress and had it fitted and seamed, plus shoes and nails. The dinner for the bachelorette party at a vineyard. -The bride may have been trying to have been nice to me when she offered to pay for my dress and then I could pay her back. I had been making payments on it since I also had my car bill, phone, and other things. It felt like a slap in the face. I guess the others girls paid theirs off in one payment and she found that out. I splurged and paid the rest of the money on it because I was embarrassed. It wasn’t like it was too outrageous to afford, but I just had other things to pay at the time. All her bridesmaids were in the medical field and came from good money. The one girl’s family owned a lake. That same girl also wouldn’t talk to me the entire time. The night of the bachelorette party, the one girl’s mom paid for our room and all the other girls got a bed. I had to sleep on the pullout couch. It was super lumpy and uncomfortable. Once again, embarrassing. I left the hotel in the middle of the night and drove home. I didn’t live far. I drove back in the morning and got brunch with them. Acted like nothing happened.

-Mid 20s: My friends were all back in town. We decided to meet back up. They decided to meet at bar in downtown. I go and they all have their significant others with them. I would have brought my boyfriend at the time if I had known. I felt like a third wheel. The bar was loud and cramped. Live music was playing. After we greeted each other, no one talked to me. I was sitting on the end and tried to conversate over the music at the bar. I had weird feelings and thought about leaving. The live music ended after a few hours. My one friend got up and went out to her car to get something. She came back in with two pretty boxes with my two other friends’ names on them. They opened them up in front of me. They had been invited to be her bridesmaids. I awkwardly sat there trying not to cry and feeling confused. These were my childhood-high school friends. I played it off like it didn’t bother me. I thought to myself, “Why invite me then?”. Stupid me stayed friends with them for several more years. I went to said friends bridal shower and wedding, like a fool. I got her nice gifts, like a fool.

-One friend has a weird thing about comparing herself to other people. I think it’s insecurity mixed with ego? I’ll explain. She always has to have the best things. A new car, a half million dollar house, private universities, the fact she’s been with her high school sweetheart who is a douchebag, honestly. They have an unhealthy relationship for various reasons. They are mostly together for (what the kids these days call) “clout”. They both have good jobs. She’s in the medical field and he was selling medical equipment last I knew. They like to bring up bad things each other did to each other in front of guests. For example, he tried to cheat on her in college, and she’ll bring it up to guilt him in front of people. “Remember when you tried to cheat on me...”. In public. They do it to each other. He lied about his political party because he was working for a politician and was trying to schmooze his way up. He later admitted he just lied to everyone and didn’t share the same the beliefs. Amongst many other things. They are married now. He wants kids, she doesn’t last I knew. They get on Facebook and use the hashtag #powercouple. Point is, she always wants to know what I’m up to. I’ve had to watch what I put on social media. I used to be more open and now I realize that people use that to judge or compare themselves to you. I don’t put where I work or where I live on there. I realized it’s nobody’s business. When I bought a house with my husband, she was wanted to know where exactly I lived so she could look up how much we bought our house for. I know this because I remembered her saying she loves to creep on people and find out things. We bought a home that we felt was affordable and had character. In high school, her and husband lived off of the high of being our grades most well-known couple. Everyone knew them together. They went to France together. They had their engagement photos done in London. She gets on Facebook for their anniversaries (how long they have been together and their wedding anniversary date) and says something like, “Can’t believe I’ve been stuck with you for 12 years. You gets on my nerves, but you’re a good cat dad to our cats. And you can cook. Haha. I love you. Or maybe I love the cats more”. Cringey.

An ending to this long story? Yes, for the most part. I want to mention that I made my own mistakes with them. I’m not perfect. I also know that I never said anything mean or degrading either. I realize that I never really spoke up to them. When I did it was because I was upset or frustrated with them. I was too worried about being alone. I was friends with these toxic people, and I eventually stopped seeing them. The last straw was seeing them on Instagram all hanging out without me. It’s fine. That’s their choice, and I wish they would have done it sooner instead of stringing me along. I’m not angry. It was my sign that we weren’t friends anymore. I deleted them off of social media. Nothing has been said to each ever since.

I want people to know that it’s okay to grow and change. It’s not okay to make others feel bad. It’s not healthy to compare and feel above others. Please don’t be afraid to speak up like I was. The fear of having no one scared me badly. Sometimes having just one good friend is better than having a group of friends. I ended up find my best friend after all of this! We’ve been best friends for six years now. It’s the most healthy and rewarding friendship I’ve ever had. We build each other up and can talk for hours! We don’t judge each at all. We love the simplicity in our lives.

I really just wanted to vent. I hope other people have similar stories to me. Feel free to share.

#narcissistic behavior #egotistic #better than you #bad friends #egotism #not friends

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queenofquiet17 · 4 years

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Digging Deeper Meme

Tagged by the lovely @crinkle-eyed-boo!

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? Black, but I’ll use blue in a pinch.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? City, no question.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Stealing Kim’s answer about becoming fluent in more languages. I took five years of German in grade school and graduated high school with a Foreign Language Honor Society cord, but lost most of it over the years and can only hold a very basic conversation now. I definitely regret letting it slip like that.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I don’t put anything in my tea. I usually take my coffee with milk or cream.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? I was all over the Bailey School Kids books. The Westing Game. The Wayside School books by Louis Sachar. And then once I got to 6th grade/middle school, I started reading Mary Higgins Clark like crazy because my mom had her books around the house.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers by default, since I don’t have a tub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Unicorn

8. Paper or electronic books? PAPER BOOKS. I can not deal with not having the physical copy of a book in my hands. Which means that my apartment is 90% bookshelves/piles of books scattered around.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? My worn Melissa Etheridge t-shirt from the Never Enough tour is probably the most comfortable thing I own.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I used to not be thrilled with it, because there were a million Sarahs in my school (including my best friend), but now I can’t imagine being called anything else.

11. Who is a mentor to you? We’ve lost touch, but I’ve always considered my undergrad adviser/professor for most of my music classes to be a mentor of sorts. All I knew back then was that I wanted to create musically, and he really helped me sharpen my ear and listen in ways I never thought to before. He helped me find my voice and tap into my creativity. He also taught the Queer Culture class I took my very first semester, and as a baby gay landing in NYC hoping to be part of a more inclusive environment, that connection meant everything.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I don’t know if I would want that, but if it was for anything, I would want it to be for my writing.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Sometimes.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? In spite of everything, yes.

15. Which element best represents you? Earth? I think?

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I’ve always been super close with my mom. Most of her side of the family, however, is a different story. It definitely smarts sometimes, because they’re very tight and there are moments when I feel like I’m missing out; I know being the liberal gay girl in a family of super conservative people probably has something to do with that. Luckily, I’ve got the best chosen family I could have asked for.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? I miss my friends, and even though I’m happy to be back home after three months of being back in my hometown because of the pandemic, I miss my mom (although we are back on our nightly phone call game).

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. My dad was a graphic designer when I was a kid, and really into drawing (he was the illustrator of a locally published children’s book called Barely a Bath for a Bear that came out when I was 1). And I have really vivid memories of coloring with him at the table, or drawing and painting with him on my plastic easel when I was about 3 or 4.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I...don’t really know? Probably ostrich meat.

20. What are you most thankful for? Right now...my friends, my health.

21. Do you like spicy food? I’m slowly gaining a tolerance for spicy food, I used to not be able to handle any of it. But the stuff I can handle, yes.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Quite a few, living in New York definitely helps. Among them, I will never be able to get over the fact that I met Megan Mullally. Also, Jill Hennessy is legitimately one of the sweetest and most down to earth people you will ever meet.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? I tried to keep a diary a bunch of times as I was growing up, but I never stuck with it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Pen

25. What is your star sign? Taurus, Taurus rising, Leo moon

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? More crunchy than soggy.

27. What would you want your legacy to be? That I loved wholeheartedly and I stayed true to myself.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I am always reading. I never leave the house without a book, and I will bring a backup book with me when I’m close to finishing the one I’m on. The last one I finished was a book about the making of Valley of the Dolls (the book and movie), and I’m almost finished reading You Know Me Well by Nina LaCour and David Levithan.

29. How do you show someone you love them? Listen, check in, send things that make me think of them among other things.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yes

31. What are you afraid of? Heights.

32. What is your favourite scent? Coffee, old books, rose, lavender

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? 100% depends on the person.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I don’t think it would be much different from where I’m at now. But I would have a massive apartment, and I would travel 1000% more than I do now.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Pools

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Mini spree in a record store or a bookstore.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? No

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I don’t want kids, but I’m intent on doing my part in teaching my nephew (my best friend’s son) to be openhearted and accepting.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I mean, I already have 13. I was supposed to get three more back in April, but I’m now working to get that appointment rescheduled since my tattoo parlor reopened. I’m planning on a Cher tattoo on my arm, the Lucy Ricardo stick figure cartoon near my collarbone, and the Melissa Etheridge key symbol on my shoulder.

40. What can you hear now? This week’s episode of In Bed with Nick and Megan

41. Where do you feel the safest? With my friends

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My public speaking issues.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? The 1920s.

44. What is your most used emoji? Double hearts

45. Describe yourself using one word. Easygoing.

46. What do you regret the most? Biting my tongue when I should have spoken up.

47. Last movie you saw? The Broken Hearts Club

48. Last tv show you watched? Party Down.

49. Invent a word and its meaning. I know my best friend and I have invented words but for the life of me, I can’t remember them right now? Way to put me on the spot ;-)

Pretty sure everyone’s probably been tagged, but if you made it to the end of this and you want to play, go for it!

#about me

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misssunflowersandsangria · 4 years

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Roses

Chapter 7: White Roses

Hello, my beautiful readers! Here we are at the end. Thank you for sticking with me till the end. I loved writing this story so much and I hoped that you enjoyed it as well.

Summary: Life is a wonderful thing.

White Roses: Suited to reverent occasions, the white rose is a fitting way to honor a friend or loved one in recognition of a new beginning or a farewell. Their pure color conveys respect, pays homage to new starts and expresses hope for the future.

Flashback

“This assignment is ridiculous. How can we possibly know where we’ll be in 10 years?” Sai complained staring at the blank document on the screen. Life had been quite unpredictable so far. How could he possibly try to imagine his future?

Ino looked up at him surprised. “You don’t know?”

“You do?”

“Of course!”

He just smiled at her amused. “Please enlighten me.”

“Okay, so ten years from now means that we will have just finished university and we’ll be graduating. By that time you’ll have become a super famous artist.”

“Really?” He couldn’t help but grin at how animated and excited she was while developing their imagined future.

“Yes! They’ll eat up the tragic orphan story.”

“Thank you for narrating my pain.”

She just waved off his concerns. “Oh, hush. It’s part of the mystique. Anyway, you’ll have already made a ton of money selling your paintings and you'll have spent a good amount of it on your very best friend.”

“Who might that be?” He teased her to which she just ruffled his hair.

“Stop it, you love me. As I was saying you’ll be this super amazing famous artist and I’ll be your wonderful best friend that you’ll attribute all your success to. We’ll move into this amazing house. You know the one you promised to buy me.”

“The one that you’re forcing me to buy you with all my hard-earned artist money.”

“Yes, precisely! I’ll keep going to school to be something really awesome like a doctor. You’ll keep painting and we’ll be happy.”

He just smiled at the simplicity but perfection of the future she painted. They were still together, pursuing their dreams and happy. It was more than he could ever hope for.

“So we’re still best friends ten years from now?”

“Obviously, nothing will ever change that.” She promised with a bright smile.

He nodded praying that Ino got everything that she dreamed of and that he would be lucky enough to see those wishes come true. “Okay, I’m going to write that for my essay.”

“Hey!”

End Flashback

At the end of the semester, Sai sat with the Yamanakas cheering along as Ino and their friends crossed the stage to collect their degrees.

As a teacher and as a friend it was very gratifying to see them all take that leap into adulthood. The world wasn’t quite ready for them yet.

His gallery opening had gone well and the critics hailed it as a renaissance. His work was new, innovative and different from what he’d done before. He had multiple offers for his drawing of Ino. Especially upon knowing that it was one of his original works. He refused each time. It was far too precious to him.

As he reflected on the path that life had taken him he appreciated all the highs and the lows. His life was far better than most and he knew that it could have been a lot different if one pretty blonde girl hadn’t chosen to become his friend.

He had always imagined that a relationship with her would be incredible but he could have never envisioned just how sweet it would be. He’d struggled his whole life to find a place in the world, to find somewhere that he belonged. All along that place was with her. When they were younger they would dream about this moment. Becoming adults, entering the real world together. It was the future that he would picture when he was sad and alone. Life had a funny way of working out.

His class had given him a glowing review at the end of the semester. Many of his students came up to him personally to tell him that they were now interested in the Arts. The university had been so impressed that they offered him an additional class to teach the following semester. He was thankful for the opportunity, excited to inspire the next generation of artists.

Ino may not have a future in art but she had chosen a path in life. After a quick vacation together she was jumping headfirst into a post-baccalaureate program to pursue her Ph.D. She wanted to become a Psychologist. She’d always wanted to help people and relished in the idea of helping them heal mentally and emotionally.

Once the ceremony was over she ran over to her parents who heaped on praises and words of congratulations. They had been in tears the entire ceremony overwhelmed with pride.

Sai greeted her with open arms. “Congratulations beautiful.” He kissed her forehead affectionately.

“Thank you, Sai.” She took a deep breath to take in the moment. “I’m happy that you’re here.” Neither took for granted that they were there in this moment together.

He squeezed her just a little tighter. “Me too. I have a surprise for you.”

“Another one?” She asked touching the rose pendant on her necklace that he’d given her that morning.

“Yes.”

“Go, sweetheart, we’ll see you at the party tonight.” Her mom assured her excitedly knowing about the surprise. The parents of all their friends decided to host one large graduation party that evening.

Ino nodded, her boyfriend never failed to amaze her. “Okay, lead the way.”

He drove them about 20 minutes away from the university to a small neighborhood the street lined with large trees. Beautiful family homes filled the sidewalk while kids played and ran up and down the streets.

She stared out the window awed by the different homes they passed. “Where are we? Is the surprise here?”

He simply kissed her knuckles. “Patience Beautiful.”

He parked in the driveway connected to the house on the corner. It had a large front yard with a welcoming doorway. From outside she could see large windows that showcased the interior.

Surprising her he took out a key from his pocket taking her hand to bring her inside. The entryway was large featuring a spiral staircase to the second story. It was spacious and she could easily imagine a family making wonderful memories there.

“Sai? What are we doing here?” Why did he have a key? Was it okay that they were just walking into someone’s house?

“Just a minute.” He led her through the kitchen out towards the porch. Walking outside she was floored by a gorgeous garden filled with flowers, purple bush clovers, and roses of every color. Suddenly it began to dawn on her.

Taking her into his arms he whispered. “Welcome home Ino.”

She felt her breath catch. “What?”

“I bought you your house with a garden of roses and bush clovers.”

She brought a hand to cover her mouth stunned and overwhelmed. “Sai…”

“If you hate it we can always find another one-“

“No, Sai, it’s perfect. Thank you. That’s not enough but I’m speechless.” She couldn’t believe that he remembered that conversation.

“Just imagine it. I can paint out here. We’ll set up your office upstairs. Our son can play in the living room and ride his bike down the street. I think that we can be very happy here.” His smile was so bright and his eyes looked so hopeful.

There was no stopping the flood of tears. The life and future that he described of home, and family. There was little else that she could want in life. She had her best friend, her true love and a home that they would build and fill with memories. They would experience birthdays, anniversaries, milestones and celebrations. Once they all had kids, Chouji and Shikamaru’s kids would come by and play and their babies would become an unstoppable trio. The next generation of InoShikaCho. Her and Sai would grow old together and fall more in love with every passing day. No matter what may come she knew that they would be happy. And she knew at this moment that she was the luckiest girl in the world.

They walked hand in hand amongst the roses before touring their house. She couldn’t have dreamt a more perfect place for them to build their lives together.

“Sai, this is incredible. I love you so much.” His thumbs brushed the tears away from her eyes.

“I love you too Beautiful, I’m excited for our adventure to continue.” He kissed her with the promise of their future and forever on his lips.

Flashforward

“Ready to go see your mommy graduate Jin?” Inojin just giggled smiling and looking up at his father. While Ino prepared for the graduation ceremony they spent the morning outside tending to the garden.

“This hat is hideous,” Ino complained before placing it on Inojin’s head. He just grabbed at it before placing it in his mouth.

They smiled down at their sweet baby before Sai pulled her into his arms. “How are you feeling Dr. Yamanaka?” Sai asked with a grin knowing how relieved and excited she was to finally be done with school.

Her arms were wrapped tightly around him sighing against his chest. “Wonderful Mr. Yamanaka. Is Inojin all ready to go?”

“All set.” It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to have a baby while trying to complete a doctorate program but Ino wanted to start a family and his flexible schedule helped out a lot. Inojin was their final missing piece, giving them a sense of completion and joy. Sai couldn’t wait to be a father, ready and excited to give his son the childhood and experiences he didn’t have.

“I’m very proud of you Beautiful.”

She smiled at him before reaching up for a kiss. Relief, joy, and appreciation a mix of emotions ran through her. While he was gone she’d all but given up on the idyllic future she’d imagined with him. Their life now though was far better than either of them could have ever dreamt.

Sai held onto his family taking a moment to thank the universe for his wife and son, for this family and life that they shared. Their journey may have taken some twists and turns, but it was worth it for all the roads led him there. A life with his Loves amongst the roses.

The End

Roses: 🌷

Chapter 1: Roses

Chapter 2: Yellow Roses

Chapter 3: Purple Roses

Chapter 4: Pink Roses

Chapter 5: Orange Roses

Chapter 6: Red Roses

Chapter 7: White Roses

Thank you again for all your love and support. They are such an amazing couple and that made it so easy to write for them. I hope to have something for them again soon. But till the next one, thank you and I love you! 💕

#saiino #inosai #sai x ino #modernau #fanfic #complete

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i-luv-chonky-bois · 4 years

Note

The "talk about" ask! All even numbers! ;)

OKAY YOU DORK I WOKE UP FROM A NAP AND HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR A HALF AN HOUR 😂😂😂😂

2: Talk about your first kiss.

~ still haven’t had it yet, but hopefully soon~!

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

~ not going to college like i had planned to in high school. i still regret it but i’m happy i’m doing something educational for myself now :)

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

~ oh geez, there’s been quite a few, but i’m gonna have to go with my 14th birthday, because i was in a mental crisis center.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

~ getting mental help and following steps to make myself better/starting EMT classes to further my education and do something with my life!

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

~ when i was about 16, my dad and i got into a physical fight and after my mom finally broke it up they kicked me out of the house lol

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

~ i’ve surprisingly not had a bad dream in quite a while, which is nice, but i’ve always had this nightmare of my nana dying, and it’s by far the worst dream i’ve ever had.

14: Talk about a vacation.

~ my senior year of high school, we went to great wolf lodge for our senior trip and i got to hang out and have a blast with some of my favorite people, and it was amazing!

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

~ i’m not sure if it would count as a party, but one year i went with three other friends and drove around town all night, pulling an all nighter before we took our trip to king’s island with our band; we went to parks, walmart, and we were all just so slap happy and it was so fun~

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

~ i was riding the bus home from school, and a girl behind me poured chocolate milk on my head lol

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

~ i made it into Morehead’s honor band and got first chair in front of a bunch of people, which made me super proud to be a musician :3

22: Talk about your worst fear.

~ being abandoned or alone.

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

~ when people i respect tell me they’re proud/also when my boyfriend sends me positive and reassuring texts when he knows i’m stressed about class or life~

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

~ sleep, vapo rub all over everything, oil diffuser going, the great british baking show on my tv, my favorite blanket over me, and playing games on my phone or texting people that make me happy!

28: Talk about your fetishes.

~ oh gosh, ummm mostly just people liking me (whatever they like i tend to enjoy, i’ll try anything once) but also dom/sub, i’ve recently found that i like tickling, and just getting to appease/tease my partner!

30: Talk about what turns you off.

~ being rude, being untidy/unclean, being mean/abusive to anyone or anything, being dishonest/cheating, being transphobic/racist/sexist/mysogenistic/homophobic/xenophobic/ just generally being a dick to people that you don’t like, even though it doesn’t concern you and isn’t your business lol

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

~ my old childhood home that burned down.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

~ i could go way into the physical abuse i went through when i was younger so let’s just leave that one kinda open ended lol

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

~ drinking ice cold dr pepper, watching dance moms, watching the top 10 guy on youtube (burger king foot lettuce guy with the monotone voice), soft pretzels w cheese, and for some reason i’ve been on a huge corn kick so i’m gonna count that XD

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

~ 10,000 hours by Dan & Shay, Lose You to Love Me by Selena Gomez, Tennessee Whisky by Chris Stapleton, Good as Hell by Lizzo, and i can’t tell you who they’re about because i’m weird and you can probably figure it out if you know me and who i talk to lol

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

~ ok i’m gonna get cheesy as heckkkkk but i’m gonna day the end of my really bad place in my life because i’ve learned to help myself, and to ask for help when i need it, and i’ve learned a lot about self love and making the most out of every day, and to focus on the positive and have more positive affirmations and positive actions! :)

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jasminewaliaposts-blog · 5 years

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My Journey as a Maid of Honor

Since summer is approaching us, do you know what that means? Wedding Season. A whole a lot of spending your money on clothes that you will probably never wear again, OH and dealing with bridezillas.

Last year of November, my best friend surprised me and some of her other friends by popping the BIG QUESTION, “Will you be my Maid of Honor.” Obviously, I was going to say yes without realizing the amount of annoyance I was about to be faced with. With joy I accepted her box full of treats she gave as a present to me. In the box were pictures from our childhood, a PJ set, a wine bottle, a hand mirror, and a heart filled personalized card. In the card she wrote why she chose me to me the maid of honor, and the date of the wedding which was only revealed to me. Obviously, it was on the same weekend of my birthday. But oh well, it’s just a birthday, I guess…

Two weeks later, my other best friend announced that she would have her wedding 3 weeks before my other best friend (end of June), and my cousin announced that she would have her wedding the same weekend as well.

Tip: Breath and create a calendar with all the main events

So just in case you feel lost, let me draw this out for you. I am a Maid of Honor for a wedding taking place on July 20thand a bridesmaid for a wedding taking place on June 30thand on the same weekend my cousin is getting married.

Now the problem is not the actual weddings, is it the 10 events which happen leading up to the wedding. As well as the thousands of dollars that are spent on clothing, hair and makeup. Being Indian means, we have a lot of traditions and celebrations, which don’t get me wrong, are tons of fun. It involves a whole a lot of color, beautiful outfits, outrageous décor, a lot of dancing and BOOZE. The image below is an example of how décor typically looks like at an Indian wedding ceremony.

Tip: Always create a budget break-down for yourself in terms of how much you will end up spending for each event. This includes the cost of your outfit, makeup, bachelorette/bachelor party, gift(s) to the brides, etc.

As I am processing this, I just realized that I still have one more semester of school left, and this is where I start PANICKING. How am I going to handle school, whilst helping plan three important weddings? Plus, all these food festivals which I do not want to miss out on. Like how can anyone miss out on poutine festival or taco fest?

Anyways, in December my best friend approached me to ask me if I can plan the bachelorette and bridal shower for her. As a Maid of Honor, I had to say yes. Listen, I love my best friend and I would do anything for her, but this is a busy time for me since I am trying to manage school and work on all these wedding shenanigans.

To make things more complicated, she decided to invite her fiancé and his friends to the bachelorette party. So essentially it would be both a bachelorette and a bachelor party. For anyone who has ever experienced this, they would know how complicated things can get when you add a bunch of guys to the mix.

So, the first thing I did was reach out to my best friend’s sister, Bianca, and created a WhatsApp group with all the bridesmaids, and to inform them that the destination we have chosen is Vegas. Now come the outpouring suggestions and recommendations of where we should stay, and how much our budget should be blah blah.

So, complication #5393458 is that everyone in the group are of different age and have different things going on in their lives. Some were students, some are businesswomen, and some are married and have kids. So, their interests and budgets are entirely different from one another.

Some wanted to spend their money on a luxurious hotel, and some would rather spend their money at pool parties and clubs. Long story short, it took me about 3 months to decide on what hotel we should stay at. Once we finalized the hotel, I decided to get touch with the groom and his best man(s) who were planning the bachelor party and let’s just say they were not happy with the hotel we decided to stay at. At this point I told them I don’t really give a s*** about their opinion and we are going ahead with that hotel.

Tip: Create an excel sheet with a budget breakdown so people can see where their money will be going. For people who are on a tight budget, seeing a number visually will ease the process. Below is an example of how this can look like.

The next headache was coming up with an itinerary. This trip is supposed to be 3 nights and 4 days long (Friday- Monday). For Friday, the bride and groom decided that both the guys and girls should spend it together, GREAT! (rolling my eyes). Now this is where things get really COMPLICATED. I had booked all of the girls for an event where Calvin Harris was performing, and of course the best man(s) had to oppose to it, because the cost of them getting a booth there was “too expensive” (FYI: only $100 difference shared amongst 28 people). So anyways, they decided we should go to a “cheaper” event with a less interesting artist. Ok so they literally ruined our wonderful plan, but we were okay with that.

For that same day we had decided that we will get a private dining room for all the girls and guys as a surprise for both the groom and bride. At this point I had already booked a private chef, and here come along the groom’s men opposing to the idea once again. They wanted to do a $100 USD buffet. Why would anyone spend that much on a buffet? Once again, I agreed to it.

Now that the bachelorette party was somewhat coming together, it was time to plan the bridal shower. Let me tell you, this was not fun at all. The bride told us she wanted us to plan an Aladdin themed bridal shower, and once again she wanted us to surprise her so that meant we had to come up with the guest list, find a venue and a caterer, etc.

As I started planning this, I decided to use a technique I learnt when doing group work in the Master of Marketing program, and that is to DELEGATE! Instead of taking on all the responsibilities and trying to plan every single detail, I decided to come up with a list of duties and assign a task to all the bridesmaids. I simply created a google doc and listed all the responsibilities and put a bunch of names down and shared it with everyone.

Tip: Create a Google Doc and share it with the people who will be participating in the planning process, like the one below.

The planning led all the way to April, which also meant exam time. Since there was only two weeks left till Vegas, this meant CRUNCH time.

Amidst all this, I had to deal with coordinating bridesmaid’s outfits. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TRYING TO GET 13 BRIDESMAIDS to send their correct measurements?! Anyways, once I got the measurements, I decided to order the outfits.

Tip: Ladies and Gents, whenever you are placing a bulk order for clothes, always make sure you get a sample outfit from the designer

The outfits were being made in India. It is a beautiful white skirt and crop top with gold embroidery. The cost of each outfit is $300 CAD, and each bridesmaid has to pay out of her pocket which made it more nerve wracking in terms of getting these outfits down to perfection.

Three weeks later, we received a box with all these outfits, and what happens? NONE OF THEM FIT. I called the designer and yelled at him for sending me the wrong sizes and since these are custom made, none of them are refundable nor returnable. I told the bridesmaids to re-measure themselves so I can find a seamstress to fix all of them, and turns out, they all measured themselves wrong.

Tip: Always find someone professional to get you measured

So, since it was their fault, I told them that it was their responsibility to get their own outfits fixed. Remember guys, always delegate.

Now its exam time, and I am both stressed and excited for Vegas (not really excited for my exams haha). After I finished my exams, it was crunch time for the trip, so this meant buying the decorations for our hotel and custom making our t-shirts and making any last-minute reservations. This also meant hitting the gym every single day in the hopes I would have a 6-pac for my trip.

Amidst all this chaos, I totally forgot to order outfits for my trip. So, I quickly went onto Fashion Nova, which is a famous online store for both men and women. I quickly placed an order in hopes I would get my order in time and hopefully all the outfits would fit. Fast forward a week later (I now only have 6 days left till my trip) I receive my order from Fashion Nova, AND EVERYTHING IS TOO SMALL on me. When I mean I started crying, I mean it! I called my best friend and started crying because nothing fit me and I had spent so much money on these outfits and none of it was refundable, oh and they also sent me 3 of the wrong outfits.

So, at this point my only option was to go to the mall and try to find 3 outfits for a night out, 2 for a pool party and at least 2 for a fancy dinner and lunch. So, I went to at least 3 malls, and FOUND NOTHING!

Did I mention how unnecessarily expensive stores are? I wasn’t going to spend $100 on just one dress. At this point I made a decision to go onto another online store called Pretty Little Thing. I decided to order 4 dresses, confident that they will all fit since I ordered from them before. Since I needed it expediated, I had to pay $20 USD for express shipping. 2 days later, I get my package, and as I’m furiously opening it, I try on my first out and guess what? The dresses are too big. At this point I was not even mad; I was just laughing at myself for even trying.

Tip: Never order dresses from any online shops until reading reviews on both Instagram and on Google. Try to find the exact outfit on the company’s Instagram page and see the reviews for that exact outfit. See what people say about the sizing and quality.

I come downstairs, and my mom asks me “how are the dresses?” I told her that I am just going to end up wearing my old dresses because this whole online ordering business is not working out for me. She took a look at the dresses and said that she can take me to a seamstress and just get them fixed. How genius is my mother… The same day I decide to visit my seamstress and she quotes me $50 just to get them fixed, without hesitation I gave it to her and told her I will pick them up the next day. Anyways, so that whole situation worked out somehow. I went to Post Canada to return all my Fashion Nova dresses. As we know I was already frustrated with their return policy, and then I was told I would have to pay $30 in return shipping, WHEN IT WAS NOT EVEN MY FAULT. I emailed Fashion Nova, and let’s just say I sent a very threatening message to them on both Facebook and email.

Tip: Always send customer service an email about your complaint/ experience. If you do not like their response via email, try contacting them on social media. These companies care about their reputation and the last thing they want is a bad review on their page.

Finally came the day to leave for VEGAS! Our flight departed at 9 p.m. from Toronto, so we decided to go to the airport to sit at the Air Canada Lounge to eat and drink. We then decided to stop by the duty free to pick up some alcohol since everyone who has been to Vegas knows how expensive food and alcohol can be there.

Tip: Never buy alcohol from Vegas, always get it from the airport when departing.

We all finally arrive and set-up our suite with decorations and gifts for all the bridesmaids. And let’s just say after that, the trip was a blur.

After recovering from the trip, now it was time to finalise everything for the bridal shower. This was a breeze since we hired people to decorate the venue and make all the deserts. Below is a picture of the beautiful Aladdin cake.

Today is May 26th, 2019, and within the next 3 weeks it is both my cousins and my other best friend’s bridal showers and bachelorette parties. (WISH ME LUCK)!

This story will be continued, if I make it out alive after this summer….

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mikotoakujin · 5 years

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( Muse - IC Questions )

[ Slowly going to post these onto all of my OC blogs, in honor of the fact charahub is going to die soon, and I only really used that for the questionnaire feature, I’m going to post questionnaires IC to my rp blogs. The questions were taken from here. You can do this too if you want!! Also yes, it’s IC unless there are brackets ]

1. Introduce yourself with the basics. (Name, Age, Simple description, Other relevant info.)

“Well, I’m Mikoto. I’m an angel, so I suppose that’s important. Age? Nineteen. [or currently 20 if you follow his birthdays since i made this blog] Well, I like to get out a lot and do things and talk to people. Not sure what else to say.” 2. What is your purpose or your biggest goal in life?

“Don’t have that much of a purpose other than being the next king in line whenever my father steps down. But my personal goal is to get more friends to hang out with, perhaps a lover. And also to better myself.” 3. Of all your belongings, which are most important to you? If there is a story about them, please share.

“I’d rather not share why, but my scarf is rather important to me. I never take it off, after all~! All I’ll say is that it was a gift.” 4. Who is your best friend, or the person you are closest to?

“...” [ Mikoto seems to be uncomfortable with this particular question. ] 5. Who are a few other people you know, and how do you feel about each of them specifically?

“So most of the other princes of their respective lands, some other people, and my parents? Well, I’ll just be quick then because there are a lot. Laphomet’s nice and we hang out sometimes despite being respectively demonic and angelic princes, Mochu is alright but kinda keeps to himself, got no fuckin’ idea about Monarch, mom’s a bitch, dads okay but out more often than not.”

[ your muse can also be added here if you message me KJdncdjnd.. other peoples muses have links attached. my other characters don’t. ] 6. Do you have any romantic interests, or have you in the past?

“Well... a few, but only one of them returned feelings.... then they were taken away from me...” [ He seems uncomfortable going into further detail. ] 7. What is your general outlook on life? Are you optimistic, pessimistic, or maybe just very neutral?

“Well, it honestly depends, but I’m mostly neutral about everything. I try to be more positive nowadays, but sometimes it just isn’t worth the troubles.” 8. Describe your relationship with your parents. If they're no longer alive, how did that happen? How do you feel about it?

“As I said, mom’s a bitch, dad’s a lot better but away often.” 9. What is your favorite childhood memory? Make it a happy one!

“The time me and my dad went out and got some candies and sweets...” 10. Do you have any siblings? If so, talk about them. If not, do you wish that you did?

“Having siblings would probably help my mental state. I don’t think I have any siblings but I wouldn’t be surprised if that whore of a mother has a lot more children.” 11. What are your favorite things to eat and drink?

“Well, I personally like wine. It’s nice. I prefer to eat salty things over anything else, so thats why I like chips, and fries, and all’a that.” 12. Who is somebody that you look up to?

“If I think really hard I might find an answer, but I don’t want to. So, nobody in particular.” 13. When you're alone, how do you like to spend your time? Hobbies and Interests?

“Well, I just walk around places trying to find things to do and socialize. Nothing much more than that.” 14. What is something you're really good at?

“Uh.... Maybe... rpgs and Fire Emblem / strategy games...?” 15. What is something you're really bad at?

“Knitting and sewing. Although, I want to be good at it.” 16. What is something that you're constantly working on improving?

“Personality and how calm I am.” 17. Share a memory that involves the person you are closest to.

“No thanks.” 19. What is a custom of your family or culture that you participate in?

“I dunno, we sometimes have festivals? We have the same holidays as humans, but with slightly altered names and there’s always a celebration for it no matter how small the holiday is. Dress fancy, eat food, go to parties and maybe get drunk, and participate in the festivities. We also somehow have a seasonal amusement park. It doesn’t fit into the theme of the fact that our little floating island looks like it was taken out of a medieval fantasy book, so it clashes a lot.” 20. How well educated are you? Do you speak more than one language? Are you well studied in a specific subject?

“Well, as a high royalty figure, I was basically forced to learn a bunch of languages so I can communicate with everyone - a good skill for a leader or person who travels a lot to have. Fortunately, I learned most of these languages alongside english, so it was much easier. I am still most fluent in english, though.” 21. What was your childhood like in general? Sad? Happy? All over the place? Describe it.

“Probably the last one mixed with sad. Not going into any more detail.” 22. Are you at all religious? What do you believe happens when you die?

“Well considering I’m an angel, I’m either already dead or some form of immortal. Probably. I have no fucking idea what happens when someone dies, don’t want to find out.” 23. Describe your clothing and your usual style.

“My style - at least in what I usually wear - is very hard to describe I guess? How do you describe these clothes? How.” 24. Do you have a job or attend school? If so, what is your job or what are you learning in school?

“Already been to school. Recently got out actually. Although, I’ll probably be shoved back in, except into college this time. being royalty means you have to have good education and good everything and god knows my parents are going to shove it down my throat. Although, since my “”job”” is going to be being a future leader, what the hell are they going to make me take in College...?” 25. Do you have any tattoos, markings, or scars on your body? What are they like?

“My younger - about fifteen to seventeen - year old self pondered on tattoos a lot, but ultimately decided against it. I have a lot of scars or wounds or whatever. It’s why I wear bandages. You can probably guess what they are, considering I’ve (somehow) never burnt myself or had any long lasting bruises.” 26. Is there anything about your appearance that you would like to change?

“Not in particular, no.” 27. Aside from your closest friend, who would you like to enjoy a relaxing afternoon with?

“A lover, but since I don’t have one, likely Laphomet. Actually, maybe one of the more refined princes, since Lapho would just ruin the atmosphere probably.” 28. Do you listen to or create music? Do you enjoy it?

“I’ve tried my hand at creating music, didn’t work out. I also used to play the violin, but it evolved into playing the harp as a hobby. I’m pretty decent at it. Also, my tastes in music are kinda all over the place but I like videogame osts more than anything.” 29. What is something about the world you live in that is constantly on your mind? (War, Political Unrest, etc)

“The fact that the current leader is a piece of shit. And no, not my dad. The other one. The female one.” 30. If you were to pass a homeless person in the streets, what would you do?

“So it’s not like I have high taxes to pay off or anything, I’ll just give them 100 dollars, maybe food, and be on my way.” 31. Where were you born, and where do you live now?

“Live in the same place I was born. Although, somehow the floating continent of whatever the fuck can grow for some reason, and it’s grown quite a bit since I as a kid. At least, according to my dad. Hell, at this rate maybe we’ll actually get advanced technology and buildings, and it’ll actually look like how it should for this generation!” 32. Do you prefer Spring, Summer, Autumn, or Winter? Why? “Winter. It’s cold. I like cold. Although it’s awkward because the fact that my clothes expose a lot of skin so they’re more fit to spring and summer. Thankfully, they got people to make me a winter form of my royal clothes. A fluffy coat.” 33. What is something you dream of accomplishing, but don't think you ever will?

“I mean, meeting them again is literally impossible, so yeah I don’t think i’ll be doing that.” 34. What's something that would make you really angry?

“Uh, slurs, shit-talk about my friends, stuff like that.” 35. What's something that calms you down when you're angry?

“Friends, alcohol, food. And just generally rest.” 36. Do you struggle with any physical or mental disabilities?

“I might’ve had depression somewhere in my life, probably still have it to a smaller extent. I miiight be bi-polar or some other mental disability but I haven’t gotten checked for those things, so maybe I’m just jumping the gun.” 37. What are your three best and three worst personality traits?

“Well, best? Don’t like to really brag or suck my own dick, but I guess I’m nice to my friends, rich (it’s a personality trait now), and kinda grateful?... I’m trying to be more forgiving. And the worst, well, there’s a lot but mostly possessive, obsessive, and passive-agressively, or just generally rude. Also low patience, but I try to play it off like I have high patience.” 38. Did you have any friends as a child that you are no longer in contact with?

“Stop.” 39. If you fight with weapons, what are they? If not, what weapons do you think are cool?

“Did you not notice the giant fucking scythe on my back? Well, I guess sometimes I don’t carry it, but I always have these two little daggers with blue hilts on me at all times. The little tail-cloth-thing hides it, but they’re in my pockets.” 40. Do you identify as the gender you were born with?

“Mostly. Might be demiboy. Might be nonbinary. When I was born I was technically nonbinary but I slowly I somehow grew... that, so I might be biologically male. I’m not sure.” 41. What is your sexuality? Are you treated any differently for it?

“I’m bi. Attracted to everyone more or less. I like guys or male-presenting people a little more though, girls kinda make me uncomfortable due to the biggest female-figure in my life being a bitch, probably. If anyone has an issue with it I curbstomp them.” 42. What is an accomplishment that you are proud of?

“Somehow being a good student in school I guess? It IS satisfying to get those weird grades where it’s over 100, or above an A.” 43. How did you meet your closest friend?

“.......Maybe I’ll tell you if I actually fucking knew you?” 44. How did you meet your second closest friend?

“Don’t know who I qualify as my second closest. I’d say Lapho, but it kinda depends on mood. But I met all my royalty friends cuz’ my parents when I was younger took me to a different school when we didn’t have one up here yet. All the rich and royal people went there, and the princes and princesses n shit’ were in special classes. So that’s how I found those guys.” 45. Do you have any enemies? Who are they, and why are you enemies?

“My mother. It’s pretty obvious that I hate her. Not going to tell you why; use context clues.” 46. What is something that annoys you?

“My mother as well.” 47. What is a mistake that you've made in your past? Do you regret it?

“Yeah, a lot. Kinda indirectly caused someone's death, so y’know.” [ He kinda seems on the edge a little due to this answer. ] 48. Have you traveled a lot? What was your favorite part of it? If not, where do you want to travel to?

“Yeah, I travel all around the place. Having wings and teleportation is nice, but also sucks major ass at least right now because I still at least get a headache from using teleportation [and on top of that because I’m not that skilled in it yet, it can be unstable], and I get tired quickly by flying.” 49. Are you comfortable around people? Could you befriend a stranger, if given the opportunity?

“Well, as a prince and once again as a future leader, you kinda have to know how to talk to someone even if they’re a complete stranger. So the answer is yes.” 50. Have you ever been in a life or death situation? If so, what was it?

“Few times. Usually started by the same person. Although, I’m still here, so unless by some mind-fuckery I’m actually in a coma dream or I’m a ghost, then I’ve survived all of those situations. And to make it simple, assault and abuse are the situations usually.”

51. Do you want to get married one day? What are your thoughts on children?

“Most people are surprised when I tell them this, but yeah. I really wanna get married, have some kids (probably adopted or from a surrogate mother since I prefer guys), treat them 500 times better than my mom because she can’t parent for shit, etcetera.” 52. In terms of social status, where do you stand?

“High. Once again, prince. Royalty. My dads related to or is a descendant of god or some shit, so that helps.” 53. Does anybody rely on you for something?

“Not that I know of...? I mean, one guy for some dumb scientific materials but y’know.” 54. Do you rely on anybody for something?

“I’d say I rely on my friends for happiness but I don’t know how true that is. I mean, it’s true, but I could still live without them; just very unstably.”

55. What is a cause that you fight for?

“The national ‘Children having not-shit parents movement’.” 56. Have you ever been drunk or otherwise intoxicated? If so, what is something that happened while you were?

“Well, I think I first got drunk at like, 15 or 16, and I was pretty lightweight then, so I dunno how it exactly went but I think I as stumbling around [ as you do when drunk ] and kinda subtly flirting with people. Well, just complimenting them in weird ways, really.” 57. Is there anybody you would die for?

“It’s a little bit too late for that.” 58. Think of a friend or acquaintance you haven't yet spoken of. How do you feel about them?

“..Sorrow,” He as quick to change the topic; “ALTHOUGH, I have technically spoken about that person, just haven’t mentioned names, so onto another mutual, Nova! They’re weird as all hell and live on a kingdom on top of the aurora borealis for some reason. And then there’s Somnus and Friends! (well, more like Somnus and his two guards that may or may not have relations) They’re cool. Somnus and his worlds people are dragons that are just usually in humanoid form. It’s chill.” 59. Are you competitive? Do you engage in any sports or competitions?

“I heavily dislike sports, but I do get competitive in games. Videogames or things like boardgames or drunken party games.” 60. Are you creative? If so, what do you like to create? Are you good at it?

“I’m ok at drawing, I strive for semi-realism when I do draw, and it is fun! So I might get into it more. Although, right now I’m more well-versed in writing.” 61. What are you the most afraid of in the entire world?

“Nothing really...? Actually, losing a friend. Happened once, I don’t want it to happen again.” 62. Describe, start to finish, an average day in your life.

“Uh, wake up, maybe go on the internet or play videogames, go out, drink a lot of wine and eat a lot, socialize, go to a different place or go home, go on the internet again, screw up my sleep schedule for the fifth time, sleep.” 63. Do you celebrate any holidays? If so, which is your favorite? What is your favorite memory from that holiday?

“You know most of me and my friends say this, and it isn’t really a holiday, but birthdays. Although christmas and halloween are close runner ups. Christmas because I usually spend it with my friends [ and I get a ton of presents from the weird people in town who thirst over me or generally like me ], I get some presents from my dad, I put coal in my moms pillow, and yeah. Also Halloween has some nice costumes, and I like candy.” 64. Would you prefer a peaceful nature walk or a trip to a busy city?

“Nature walk. Nature relaxes me a lot more than some loud crude city. Although the cities fine too, I’m just too used to it.” 65. Growing up, did you have any important teachers or mentors? What's the most important thing they taught you?

“My school counselor was pretty chill. She told me not to be something I’m not, and that helped me get more motivation to improve.” 66. If your parents or mentor knew everything about you today, would they be proud of you?

“If we’re still talking about my counselor, to be honest, I saw them between my in-between phase of edgy dumbass, and my phase of edgy ruse dumbass, so they’ve seen me at my worse.” 67. What is something that excites you or makes you really happy?

“When I find out someone I know is actually like... gay or trans or something? That’s always cool. Or into something I really like to ramble about or need someone to talk about with.” 69. Do you have any really important secrets, or are you generally secret free?

“Are you expecting me to say something sexual because its the sixty-ninth question? Well fine. I am not a virgin but I still consider myself so because I’ve never had romantic sex (i’ve only had sex around 3-5 times) but for a non-sexual answer, I’m mostly secret free. I’m good at keeping them, but for personal secrets, if you catch me in an emotional mood they may just slip.” 70. If you were walking on the streets and you were attacked, do you think you could fight and win?

“Definitely.” 71. Have you ever killed somebody? If so, why and how? If not, do you think you ever would?

“No, surprisingly not. Well, I did indirectly.... kind of..” 72. What is your strongest physical trait? (Fast runner, very strong, super flexible, etc)

“I’m quick, have good reflexes, and yeah I’m pretty flexible. I can do a split if I wanted.” 73. Have you ever been in love? If not, do you want to be? If so, with who, and are you still? If you aren't, how did it end?

“Yes, not answering, person isn’t here anymore. And I do want to be in a relationship or have someone I like or who is a mutual have a crush on me, as well.” 74. When you're alone and relaxing, what are you usually thinking about?

“Usually about the past or the future.” 75. Do you have a lot of responsibilities? If so, what do they include?

“Well, if you couldn’t tell from past answers, once again, being royalty is fucking annoying even though you get everything handed to you, you still have to work hard to fit into peoples expectations.” 76. Have you ever felt really guilty about something? If so, what was it?

“Youuuu know how... I’ve been talking about.. uh. Causing someones death indirectly? Yeah. That.” 77. Do you have any habits, ticks, quirks, or anything like that?

“Quite a few, I won’t list all of them but, I’m left handed, I tend to do tricks with whatever I’m holding without noticing if I’m bored or waiting for something, if I feel threatened my wings will open up a lot, if I feel sad they’ll usually scrunch up a lot more. Y’know.” 78. What complaints do you have about your best friend?

“If you mean the alive ones, none. I mean, flaws make a person who they are.” 79. What complaints do you have about your next closest friend?

“Also none.” 80. Do you have any special abilities or talents?

“Flight, teleportation, I’m slowly gaining more and more magics - courtesy of my parents, I guess - but they’re weak - my strongest magic ability right now is controlling thunder, though.” 81. Do you have any addictions or obsessions?

“Wouldn’t say I’m addicted to alcohol, but I do drink it a lot.” 82. What drives you? (Your motivation or inspiration)

“I’m motivated because of the fact I still have so much to see, improve, and learn.” 83. What do you find attractive in a person, both physically and in terms of personality?

“Clean-shaven, tall and thin, I can go for any personality really, but preferably at least is kinda nice and charming, male probably, and uh... glasses are cute. Wow I sound like a typical girl describing their dream crush, huh? Well, to be fair, I’m mostly fine with anything.” 84. What do you think a stranger's first impression of you would be?

“Depends on what my outwards personality is like at the time, but generally well-mannered if not a little bit weird at times.” 85. Are you ashamed or embarrassed about anything?

“Quite a few things. Like I said, I didn’t have genitalia at birth so that was something.” 86. Would you consider yourself to be trustworthy and honest? Would you lie if it benefited you?

“Sadly, I’m pretty good at manipulation and tactics for it, so I will lie if it benefits me or if I feel like I have to, although if I trust the person then I try to be much more honest.” 87. Has anything huge happened in your life that you feel shaped or changed the person you are today?

“The loss of my childhood friend turned me to hate and absolutely despise my mother. Even though she abused me before, I just took it and didn’t say anything, but when she did it to him it was much more personal and shocking... ah, there’s that... again.. my dumb fucking habit of overstaying my welcome with secrets I’m supposed to bottle up inside me and keep until I die. A-anyways.” [ He seemed to get emotional at the subject, but it seems like he was keeping that inside him for a while. ] 88. What are some of your short term (less than 1 yr) goals?

“Uh... bettering myself will probably take longer than a year, so, maybe taking up gardening and stuff like that. He did that. It was nice..” 89. How do you deal with stress? How do you respond to stressful situations?

“With extreme emotional backlash, usually. It depends on the current situation, level of stress, and if I’m in public or not, or if the stress was brought on by a person, but assuming the level of stress is pretty high, I’ll either become really angry, really sad, or just walk somewhere private and let out emotions there.” 90. What is something that most people don't know about you?

“I like old-timey things and vintage stuff. Like obviously more modern than medieval era, but old enough that it isn’t used much in the new generations. Also I think the way people dressed in older times was funny. Also also, history is one of my favorite classes which is odd to most people since I don’t seem like the guy to care about what happened in the past, I suppose.”

#ic #questionaire #oc questionaire #get to know the muse #abuse mentions #abuse tw #suggestive #in some parts #read more #long post

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archetypalimages · 6 years

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First life update in years!

I’m a ghost to tumblr now so I’m sure not many people will read this but it will feel nice to do so, why not?

If you still follow me from years ago, I’m sure you remember how I would often talk about how miserable I was about everything in my life. I never felt like I was good enough, my family situation was a chaotic mess, my relationships were whirlwinds, and I never knew exactly what I wanted.

Well, in 2015 I moved home from Atlanta where I was studying and exploring my interests at SCAD. Everything I had tried to stuff down finally caught up with me and I came unravelled to the point of hospitalization where I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder. I had no choice but to kiss my dreams of being a SCAD graduate goodbye for the time being (one day I WILL finish) in order to sort myself out.

3 years later, I can finally say that I feel pretty damn good. I have never felt such a clarity of thought in my entire life... I kid you not. For the first time ever, I am able to balance work, school, fitness, family, friends, and a healthy relationship. I actually made the honors list at my community college which is a huge deal for me and I’ll graduate with my Associate in Arts after next semester then, I’ll be at university for 2 years and I’ll be done (I decided to go for graphic design).

It was not easy getting to where I am by any means. It was excruciatingly painful to work through to say the least. I had to process my diagnosis, process putting my dream school on hold, find a medication that worked, go to therapy, mourn the loss of my grandfather, confront my mom about childhood trauma from sexual abuse, find a job, let go of a 4 year toxic relationship, and find positive, supportive friends.

In the midst of figuring everything out, I felt so down and out.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for me to figure out which medication worked best for me but it did take a while for it to completely take effect. For the first 6 months of being home, it was all I could do to get out of bed or put down the gaming controller. My outing for the day was taking and picking my ex up from work and he was so fucking ungrateful for everything. My family cut him such a huge break by getting him a job, providing a place to live, and I drove him everywhere. He wound up meeting a bunch of hippies and I became chopped liver. Don’t get me wrong, I love to party and have a good time but that was part of what got me to where I was. We did so much partying in Atlanta together and our goal in moving was to get our shit together. Anyhow, letting go of that relationship was one of my biggest feats. It was one crazy fucking toxic love. I’ve had 6 serious relationships, none of which were healthy by any means but, this one took the cake. I think I must have experienced just about every terrible emotion you can feel when you love somebody; jealousy, insecurity, hopelessness, embarrassment, ridicule, loneliness, worthlessness, unworthiness, mental and physical abuse, etc. (the list could go on). Because of all of the things going against me, I couldn’t see that both of us deserved better. We drove one another absolutely nuts. He is a scorpio and so am I which I think could have been a huge part of it to be honest even as cliche as it sounds. Our biggest fight that landed us in jail happened on full moon in scorpio. Even after being assaulted, I wanted to be with him so I had to keep it a secret from my family which felt awful. It was just a traumatic experience but it’s over now and that’s all that really matters. I learned so much from every relationship I’ve been in so it wasn’t for nothing.

I got my first job after about 6 months and it was at a local temp agency where I packaged “Freaker’s.” They’re like drink cuzis but made out of sock-like material with pop-culture references and what-not on them. I can’t tell you how much I hated that job. Next, I got a job at a new restaurant and it wound up being super fun. I loved my co-workers. They were all exactly what I needed at that time in my life and I’m so thankful to have had them. After about a year of it, I was over it though. I missed being in a creative environment. My aunt’s took me to Wine and Design one night and I loved it so I applied there. Barely a month later, I became a painting instructor there and that is where I am currently. It has been a blessing and is perfect for while I am in school here.

Things are just really looking up and I just wanted to share.

No matter how grim things may seem, if you seek out the positives, they will come; you just have to sift through all of the muck. Things have a funny way of working out and it seems to always happen just when you’re about to throw in the towel.

I finally have a sense of direction, a positive support group, a mellow family situation, and a clean, fresh start with a new man. We have both expressed how much we want to be good to one another and that in itself feels amazing.

I’m so thankful I didn’t give up even though I wanted to so badly at times.

If you’re reading this, I hope that this little story inspires you to keep going even if you don’t feel like it. Things really do get better with hard work. You just have to take everything one step at the time.

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