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delusionland · 5 minutes ago
“I once slept on an unmade mattress for 6 months.” from tim to kon <3
“I’m pretty sure that’s normal, Rob.” Kon says. “Sometimes I’ll go to a new place without sheets on it and just never put ‘em on. It’s totally fine, unless you like... end up eating on the bed and spill your ramen broth on it. Then the mattress smells like spicy chicken forever. But you know. Spicy chicken isn’t a BAD smell. It’s kind of soothing, in a way... Though now when I eat ramen I always get kinda sleepy?”
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illusionar-pantomime · 5 minutes ago
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He is not a cat, he is a fox. So he does not think he counts. He can make an illusion of a cat though
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iceflowers · 5 minutes ago
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The noble has decided to take a nap against a tree. It’s a beautiful day, and he deserves a rest.
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bed-of-briars · 5 minutes ago
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I've said it before and I'll say it again; I am usually right.
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cerulean-volcano · 7 minutes ago
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“Hmmm. Good morning. I have not slept well since I got the letter from my brother.”
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orreheart · 8 minutes ago
excuse me, why is your eevee yellow? is it a regional variant? i never heard of a yellow eevee
i don't know why skeeter is yellow. someone gave me an egg and when it hatched he just looked like that.
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he's cute either way.
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kevin-the-jerk · 9 minutes ago
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Gem Steven bites Kevin's arm, "Oh thank fuck, you're not clouds."
“Ow- what the?! Steven— why would... wait why would I be clouds? What are you talking about?!”
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delusionland · 9 minutes ago
“I have severe depression” @ hans
"It’s 2021, Elsa. Everyone. Has. Depression,” Hans starts, the inner bitchiness in his soul overwhelming after he thought she friend-broke-up with him by ghosting him for almost five months. (Hans is a very high maintenance friend! They go the SAME school. How can you ghost someone when you LIVE in the same ONE MILE RADIUS? Is it so hard to pick up the phone and send an ‘I’m not dead’ text? Apparently so.)
“Whatever, fine, I’m getting you a counselor appointment. They literally do free therapy for students here, El! All you had to do was ask for help!”
He takes a deep breath that he practically screams out through his nostrils. “When are you free next? We can talk. Get frapps. I can walk you to the appointment. I’m not letting you shut yourself up in your room for another semester.”
“I’m sorry.” He says, sounding not very sorry at all, despite knowing he did something technically wrong by being an asshole. Tough love (sometimes WAY too tough love) is his modus operandi on all occassions. I’m sorry AND you’re welcome is more like it! “You’re too important for me to just sit there and pretend I’m okay with you suffering alone.”
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xxvernalagniaxx · 13 minutes ago
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Hello there, neigh to meet you
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❀ ╱╲╳ ( ❝ HEATHEN!!! ❞ )
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funkiing · 13 minutes ago
So you’re dating cherry?
“what? no! i'm not into her like that, jesus! i would rather kiss my totally best friend™ than her.” he paused a moment, before realizing that cherry's parents still may be after him. “no offense to her though! she's reall pretty! just not my type at the moment, y'know?”
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orreheart · 15 minutes ago
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why have only a cat when you can have two eeveelutions? and an eevee?
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oh-my-hashirama · 18 minutes ago
Hello Lord Hashirama! * has an potted Lavender plant for the first Hokage * How are you?
Thank you so much, lady K! I’m doing great, thank you for the lavender plant. Tell me, are you doing better than last week during mother’s day? 
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oh-my-hashirama · 18 minutes ago
Hokage sama,
I think you are really humble by saying Naruto surpassed you and Sakura surpassed Tsunade.
But neither claims were true.
With your strength and power levels, you took down Madara's Susanoo + Kyuubi, that is, Naruto + Sasuke's strength combined. And now Naruto lost his Kurama and Sasuke lost his Rinnegan
With your Granddaughter's power levels, she took 20 stabs from Madara like a cake and cured Shikamaru with a touch of her hands. Sakura became an housewife wiping dust and washing clothes now.
Sorry Shodaime, you power levels are unrivalled and unsurpassable. Madara was absolutely right about your powers ever since he was Edo Tensei'ed.
Hello, anon ♥ 
I don’t really remember saying that about Nart, but I might have forgotten. I think Nart surpassed me in another ways than power. You might be right, but it’s not always a rule that if you can win over an opponent, you would automatically win over someone who lost to that same opponent. So it’s hard to really say who is the strongest unless you have one person who really, really stands up. For example, Sage is much stronger. But humbleness and motivation is the most important thing for next generations. 
With Tsunade it’s very complicated. Just because Sakura became a housewife doesn’t mean she is weak. Because a) Sakura is younger than Tsunade was when she became Hokage; b) around Sakura’s age, Tsunade would also wife up if her fiance didn’t die and she would probably be happier.  Sakura might be just as strong as Tsunade in the future, we haven’t seen her fight a lot, but Tsunade at her age was probably sitting in a pub, drinking. She thought (wrongly) she was a failure back then. They are both at different stages of life now. And frankly, neither Tsunade or Sakura really enjoy combat. I think Sakura did a marvellous job in hospital, same as Tsunade. 
I still think Sakura and Tsunade should have married an accountant. 
Anyway, I think our world gives too much importance to power. I think there are more important things, like controlling your anger, being kind, taking care of oneself and being happy. 
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delusionland · 19 minutes ago
everything about being a parent feels like a secret test. ( dick & bruce // dick talking about part-time raising mar'i )
Bruce chuckles, despite himself. It hits his gut like a freight train---a better exercise and workout for his funny bone than he ever gets.
“I’ve thrown a lot of tests at you over the years,” Bruce says very plainly. “Raising a child is harder, and more important.”
“It’s the best thing you’ll ever do in your life---if you do it right. If you try to be gentle, and understanding, and not...” He peters out. For all his love of kids, he was never able to be that entirely with his own children. It’s so much easier to be gentle and understanding with other people’s kids. Discipline---affection---these things get lost and melded together when you want so desperately to place your child in danger & protect them from the world at the same time. Was it hard for Dick to watch Bruce talk to kids in his softest voice, when Dick heard him at his hardest? Bruce doesn’t want to think of his own mistakes. He still wants to support Dick regardless.
“Or if the child is just... special enough to be better than you, despite every test you’ve put them through.” All mirth from the laugh is gone now.
“I know you’re a better Father than me already.” Bruce says, gently, voice feather-light & smooth. “Don’t worry so much. It’ll all make sense in the end.”
“She’s already perfect as she is.” A lie, he knows. She needs so much combat training. But it feels so true. Bruce vaguely wonders---thinking of his therapist, if hearing that will hurt Dick, too, or... make him feel better. Discomforted, he shifts his weight, a small tell that shows how affected he is by the conversation. The microexpression that passes over his wrinkled face---is that of regret.
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roygaybiv · 19 minutes ago
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BE FORE I FREAK OUT ABOUT ANY OF THIS NONE OF YOU GET TO USE THIS AGAINST ME.
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smalltowndimwits · 20 minutes ago
HAHAHA me n the gang went diggin around near ye old maryjuhuajuah farm until we got chased off 😡🙄🙄🙄🙄
But anyways 😌 SSSSSCOOOOOORE 😍🤪🤪🤪🤪 guess who found a 🎶sweeeeeeeeeet🎶 pile of 🎶boooooooooones🎶 ☠️🦴🦴🦴🦴
Do you think it's your gay dog ✨sparkles✨ that DIED??? bc that wud b EPIC n POGGGEERRRRRRZZZZ 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
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rocknrollerskates · 21 minutes ago
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he took like / forever / to deliver our flavour discs /
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0emptyxxxeyes0 · 24 minutes ago
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I l0ve my bimb0 matesprite
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rocknrollerskates · 26 minutes ago
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funkiing · 27 minutes ago
Him baby.
“exactly! finally someone gets it!” keith cheered, looking unusually happy for something like this. “i am baby. i am the baby”
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