#steve and bucky save the american from the nazis

[gay-jewish-bucky]

Debunking the Claim that Bucky Barnes' Dog Tags "Prove He Cannot Be Jewish"

In 2021 and 2022, when discussing the fact that MCU!Bucky (henceforth referred to simply as Bucky) is based off of Arnie Roth, a gay Jewish man and Steve's childhood best friend, I received pushback from fans telling me that Bucky can't possibly be Jewish due to his dog tags; citing a behind the scenes picture posted by Sebastian Stan to his instagram story.

Transcription of the dog tags:

James B. Barnes (Legal Name) 32557038 (Serial Number*) T41 42 (Tetanus Immunization) O (Blood Type) R. Barnes (Next of Kin) 3092 Stockton RD (Address) Shelbyville IN (Location) P (Religion Marker)

*A serial number starting with a 3 indicated that the servicemember was drafted into the Army, it's important that we do not forget that Bucky didn't chose to fight.

During World War II the dog tags of American service members would have had one of the following regulation religion markers:

P for Protestant (the marker we see on Bucky's dog tags)

C for Catholic

H for Hebrew, this being the marker for 'Jewish'

NO (or left blank) for No Religion

For Jewish servicemembers fighting in Europe, being discovered to be a Jew by your captors–especially if you were captured by the Nazis–carried considerable risk and could mean the difference between life or horrific torture, experimentation and possibly even death.

Some Jewish service members, justifiably incredibly fearful of what could happen if they were found out, would either omit a religion marker altogether or, after getting their tags, would attempt to obscure the 'H' marker in some way so it could not be read by their captors.

While this saved some lives, it was not a perfect and fool-proof system, and we have no way of knowing how many times it failed.

In 1943, the year Bucky was drafted, the Army introduced a more official (and more widely adoptable, and thus widely adopted) option to protect Jews in its ranks:

Through the European Theatre of Operations United States Army, Jewish servicemembers could elect to have the 'H' marker for Hebrew on their dog tags replaced with a 'P' for Protestant.

This would offer Jewish servicemembers a more convincing layer of protection if they were ever captured by the enemy, because, unlike an obscured religion marker (or that lack of one) which could itself draw suspicion, a set of dog tags printed with a 'P' would be entirely indistinguishable from the dog tags worn by a gentile and would be less likely to draw suspicion.

Due to this option being made available to Jewish people serving in the United States Armed Forces, the 'P' marker on Bucky's dog tags not only does not definitively prove that he's really a gentile, in actuality its presence provides even further historical support in favour of him being a Jewish man.

Sources and Additional Reading:

Jewish GIs and Their Dog-Tags by Rabbi Akiva Males - Hakirah

A Star of David for Pvt. Benjamin Garadetsky - Jewish Telegraphic Agency (jta.org)

U.S. Army WW2 Dog Tags | WW2 US Medical Research Centre (med-dept.com)

Do You Know the History of the "Dog Tag" (jcveteranscouncil)

Beyond The Battle: Religion and American Troops In World War II (uky.edu)

World War II and American Jewish Identity

European Theater of Operations, United States Army - Wikipedia

Pride Month 2022, 40 Years of Arnie Roth and Michael Bech - Marvel Comics: The Queer History Behind MCU Bucky’s Backstory

J.M. DeMatteis, the creator of Arnie, confirming the character's use for MCU!Bucky

Full screenshot of Sebastian Stan's post of the dog tag

How to Decode a WWII US Army Serial Number | Amy Johnson Crow

#bucky #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #marvel #mcu #jewish!bucky #jewish!bucky barnes #jewish bucky #military history #marvel meta #arnie roth #Assorted Jewish Writings - Shoah #jewish bucky resources #jewish bucky barnes

[flashfuture]

There's this really funny plot arc in the 1975 Invaders comics that I'm so sad with never get adapted and it's 8 issues. It's vaguely 1942. Captain America, Bucky, The original Human Torch, Toro, Namor, and Spitfire are in Berlin fighting a bunch of Nazis. They all get drugged and it affects Toro and Namor the most this is the arc where it was revealed Toro was a mutant. Anyways the drugs lessened the power of Toro's fire so the bullets coming at him didn't melt. And one lodged right beside his heart. Now keep in mind throughout all of this their worry is the bullet will move and enter his heart.

Bucky sits with Toro out of fire and bandages him up while everyone else fights. When they get a break they all fly off with Jim Hammond the original Human Torch holding Toro completely on fire. They get into a plane. Crash the plane into the ocean and float until they find an Allied ship. Fly onto the ship. Move Toro to a hospital where they're told operating can't happen unless they get the help of Dr Sabuki in Hawaii. They're all in England. Suddenly the Invaders are called away on an urgent missions. Jim Hammond nearly defects he's so mad and worried about Toro. But Bucky says he'll take Namor's ship and fly Toro to America. And he does fly Toro all the way across the world. Toro has at no point woken up totally unconscious.

Bucky lands at the house of Doctor Sabuki and learns about the Internment camp situation. Flies Toro to a random hospital the doctor tells him no one can operate a nurse says this doctor is a racist quack Doctor Sabuki is the best. So Bucky leaves Toro there and races to the camp beats up a bunch of American soldiers and finds Doctor Sabuki and his daughter Gwenny Lou. Suddenly a giant drill emerges from the ground it's Agent Axis and his Axis soldiers. They're looking for Doctor Sabuki and the three of them all get abducted.

Back at the hospital, a boy named Davy Mitchell overheard the doctor say Toro was going to die and he snuck in to see how the young hero was doing. When suddenly a giant drill emerges from the ground it's Agent Axis and his Axis soldiers. They abduct Toro ripping out his plasma and also take Davy with them too I guess cause why not have another hostage. Also Davy is black so the Axis soldiers just start throwing slurs around. The Axis soldiers fight the kids, also Gwenny can fight, and then Bucky orders them all to stand down when they point a gun at Toro's head. Davy and Gwenny think Bucky is insane which is fair enough I think.

Anyways Captain America, Namor, and the Human Torch have arrived in Hawaii looking for the boys. They find Namor's ship still parked outside the internment camp. Steve yells at the soldiers in the camp but then they learn about Agent Axis and his drill and run off to go find everyone.

Back in the drill Davy tells the gang his story and Gwenny is like screw you guys I don't have anything in common with any of you except being stuck in this giant drill. They arrive at a secret layer and Toro is moved off the giant drill and finally operated on by Doctor Sabuki with Gwenny assisting. Bucky acts incredibly weird during this and Davy is like why are you staring at the bullet so hard and Bucky is all "I wanted to see if Toro's name was written on it" okay kid save the poetry for when Toro wakes up. Agent Axis is trying to force Doctor Sabuki to do some insane science experiment while someone moves Bucky out of the room. Toro gets up and shoots fire at that Axis soldier and Bucky goes "yahoo" cause Toro woke up and starts throwing punches. The soldier goes to shoot Toro and Bucky punches him literally thinking "these bullets are going wild! hope they don't hit anyone but I couldn't let him shoot Toro" And Bucky I think you should probably put some emphasis on the poor civilians that have been dragged into this fight instead of your superhero friend.

Anyways the bullets go wild and hit the machine Davy and Gwenny were stuck in and they get so electrocuted it gives them superpowers. Gwenny has something with light and Davy the ability to spin and generate wind. Someone says he's like a Human Top and Davy goes with this. Then at the end Captain America, Namor, and Human Torch burst through the wall.

Gwenny and Davy realize they've developed superpowers. Gwenny calls her golden bursts of sunlight and dubs herself Golden Girl . Steve is like don't know who either of you are but keep it up ! Then over in the corner Agent Axis is escaping with Doctor Sabuki in his giant drill. Namor gets Doctor Sabuki in the water and Steve follows Agent Axis. Back in the secret Axis base Bucky locks some soldiers inside and he's all oh Toro are you well enough to use your fire while Gwenny and Davy just electrocuted and super powered up are kicking ass. Like I can't describe accurately how funny it is to watch Bucky fret over Toro like this.

Then the kids go off on their own adventure for a quick minutes. And Toro finds outfits in the ship which are canonically Namor's which is really good actually. Bucky and Toro call each other Mr. B and Mr. T

They arrive back at the internment camp and then a giant drill emerges from the ground it's Agent Axis. The new kid commandos beat him up and Toro welds shut the giant drill. Doctor Sabuki makes the decision he will stay in the camp while Gwenny will leave with the others. The soldier in charge tries to protest and Gwenny threatens to fucking murder him so she gets to go. Back with the Invaders, its revealed the last Agent Axis fight was actually Namor putting on a show for the kids to and I quote Bucky here "Give them more clout"

In any case I always think it's interesting how Marvel handles addressing American atrocities without having heroes change the entire history of them.

(The Invaders #28)

The Human Top and Golden Girl

#marvel comics #the invaders #long post

[themculibrary]

Steve/Bucky WWII era Masterlist

2005, 2012, And a Whole Lot of the 1900s In Between (ao3) - bashfulpenguin T, 10k

Summary: AU where Peggy Carter dies before Steve Rogers wakes up from the ice and her daughter, tells stories about how her mother was gay. Obviously, people ask if Steve knew and she explains that of course, he did. Now Steve wakes up in 2012 and has to deal with the world knowing he was gay and the threat of Hydra.

Collected Letters (1930-1943) (ao3) - brokentoy, triedunture T, 16k

Summary: The collected private correspondence—unedited, uncensored—of Steven Rogers, later known as Captain America, and his longtime companion, James B. Barnes, spanning the years from childhood to World War II.

dancing on my own (ao3) - biblionerd07 G, 1k

Summary: George Aiken's been a pub owner a long time--not much escapes him, not even the way that dark-haired soldier looks at his friend when he thinks no one's looking.

For the dead there is no story (ao3) - hansbekhart N/R, 24k

Summary: Twelve days ago, Captain America had landed in England, on a ten stop tour to cheer our boys in service, one of the first USO shows to ever brave the front. Seven days ago, Captain America had gone AWOL in Italy after learning that the 107th had been decimated, and many of its forces captured by the Nazis. Three days ago, he arrived back in the Allied camp, having crossed thirty miles of heavily fortified enemy territory with nearly two hundred POWs in tow, chief among them one Sgt James Barnes.

"Well that - that does rather sound like Steve," Mother says.

-

Or: the Barnes family, during the events of The First Avenger.

Orders came for sailing (ao3) - Ark E, 2k

Summary: Bucky drops into the trench. It’s pitchy black, and he’s good; there’s no warning save the displacement of air. Steve is wedged into a sentry stance beneath the earth, on guard and half-awake, when he feels Bucky come in like wind.

“What’s the secret password?” stage-whispers Steve.

“It’s ‘fuck off.’” Bucky displaces more air, wending Steve-wards. “Didn’t wanna startle you. Hoped you were gettin’ some sleep. You don’t sleep enough, Steve.”

“Whose fault is that?” Steve says, smiling under the ground in the dark. “C’mere.”

Pianissimo (ao3) - Odsbodkins E, 15k

Summary: Steve and Bucky from the 30s to 1945. Inspired by an Avengerkink prompt about Steve and Bucky hiding their relationship.

Sincerely, Your Pal (ao3) - lettered M, 65k

Summary: "[...] lesbians and gay men writing letters to their lovers and friends faced the special problem of wartime censorship. Military censors, of course, cut out all information that might aid the enemy, but this surveillance made it necessary for gay and lesbian correspondents to be careful not to expose their homosexuality. To get around this, gay men befriended sympathetic censors or tricked others by using campy phrases, signing a woman’s name (like Dixie or Daisy), or changing the gender of their friends. Sailors became WAVEs, boyfriends became WACs, Robert became Roberta. There must exist, hidden in closets and attics all over America, a huge literature of these World War II letters between lesbians and between gay men that would tell us even more about this important part of American history." - Coming Out Under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women In World War Two, by Allan Berube

Stars and Moons (ao3) - likeshipsonthesea G, 2k

Summary: “Where did Captain America learn to steal a car?” “Nazi Germany. And we’re borrowing. Take your feet off the dash.”

*~*~*

On a hot day in Germany during World War 2, the Howling Commandos, and more specifically Bucky, teach Steve how to steal a car.

Strangers in the Street (ao3) - crinklefries T, 15k

Summary: (Every five years, Bucky meets the same tall, blond stranger.)

Subjective Histories (ao3) - Odsbodkins M, 11k

Summary: Extracts from materials relating to the official biography of Steve Rogers (A Kid From Brooklyn, Yale University Press, 1999)

The More Things Change (ao3) - Skew T, 9k

Summary: As far as Bucky's concerned, neither Steve's transformation or the events of the war have changed the friendship between them. However, when a mission doesn't quite go to plan, he finds himself making a foolish decision that might change things forever. (NB: contains cartoonish violence, some use of period-appropriate offensive language.)

there's nothing left of you (ao3) - notallbees E, 22k

Summary: Bucky’s having a hard time reconciling Captain America with the friend he left behind in Brooklyn. It’s bad enough that every time he closes his eyes he sees the inside of a torture chamber. Now, every time he opens them again, he sees a stranger with Steve Rogers’ eyes and smile.

the secret circuit home (ao3) - ftmsteverogers E, 3k

Summary: In which Bucky escapes Azzano on his own with the other Howling Commandos, rough around the edges, but alive. He makes it back in time to watch Captain America's godawful performance, not knowing that it's his best friend up there in tights.

Then he hits on him after the show.

to memory now I can't recall (ao3) - Etharei E, 102k

Summary: While on a mission storming a HYDRA facility, James Buchanan Barnes touches one of the many strange alien devices collected by the Red Skull. He does this, in fact, twice— in the past, and in the future.

Next thing he knows, Bucky Barnes is opening his eyes in the 21st century, which is full of great gadgets and coffee, and at least includes his old pal Steve. (And, inexplicably, a different Stark.) Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier finds himself in the middle of World War Two, helping Captain America hunt down HYDRA (which is at least familiar), pretending to be Bucky Barnes (which is not), and figuring out the very noisy group of soldiers who call themselves the Howling Commandos.

You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To (ao3) - EmilianaDarling E, 26k

Summary: “What about you, Barnes?” asks Dugan. The sound of his voice brings Bucky back to the present, dredges him out of memories of a beat-up little apartment with sunlight streaming in through the windows. “Got yourself a girl waiting for you back home?”

There’s an answer on the tip of his tongue, one that he’ll deliver with a cocky grin and a half-laugh and a little shake of his head. But Bucky is exhausted and hungry and so sore it hurts to move, and one of the guys in their platoon fucking died yesterday. His mouth tastes like iodine water and his feet hurt and none of it’s going to get better any time soon, and all at once Bucky misses Steve so badly he can barely see straight.

“Yeah,” Bucky declares abruptly, the word escaping from his mouth before he fully realizes what he’s saying. “Yeah, I do.”

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #ww2 #ww2 masterlist #masterlists

[amarriageoftrueminds]

The thing about Peggy, she's a very boring character. Upper class British woman is a very boring archetype. It also just doesn't work with a man who is the son of poor Irish immigrants.

If Peggy were and Irish girl? A girl from France or Poland? A woman of color? A disabled woman? She'd have been far more interesting and I'd probably be in to their relationship.

As it is, its the most basic boring romance. Peggy has no friends that are women, or at least we never see them. She's wealthy so she had a big advantage over other woman. She could easily get a boyfriend. She wasn't interested in Steve until he got the serum. Like, when it comes to Steve, she's seriously that meme with the first people being the guy shielding his eyes and then the second one of him liking whatever he sees, and put preserum and post serum Steve in it.

Its the fault of the writers for writing a woman that they'd want and not an actual character. And then making the story about their MC having to earn her. But we now have better female and more interesting characters in the MCU. No need to keep bringing Peggy back, who they still didn't bother to give her own character and just made her a female version of Steve and still managed to give her a bland personality. There's no saving the character at that point.

All they had to do is just... leave her canon comics characterisation alone.

She was based on real life American heroine Virginia Hall! (Ignoring that is sickeningly disrespectful.) She was undercover in the French Resistance! She was actually doing the things they had to retcon MCUPggy doing! Her being co-head of (American) SHIELD would've made sense!

Instead of which we're stuck with this... repellant Stormfront character who seeps in everywhere like oil. 

They're bending over backwards to retcon/write their Cynthia-Glass-in-all-but-name (a cesspit by any other name still stinks!) into relevancy in the comics now (horrifying; again, pretending they didn't adapt a Nazi, pretending she was once friendly to Bucky... they wish!) and back up every bullshit claim they ever made about her MCU skillset (most of which are stolen from Bucky anyway.) 

They've got writers that are dimwitted enough to swallow whatever Feige feeds them without question (which was why they were hired, after all), and think they've written feminism when they've written either radfeminism (the woman is just better than the man!) or misogyny (...and yet her whole life still revolves around him??)

Pggy is the perfect conservative woman, though, so you know Disney are never going to stop. Especially not now HA has dated Tom Cruise. 

Pggy is much more comfortable for them than leftwing Steve ever was. 

She is also perfect villain material, but that would require them to be actually leftwing for once, and/or admit they fucked up and based a main character on a Nazi because they're into that shit. Which they never will. 🙄

.

*point: in her show (which cannot be canon since all the events are undermined by CATWS, but as usual even if it was canon it doesn't show her in the positive light they think it does, because they’re idiots), they think they retcon her complete lack of any interaction with women in CATFA by giving her three-ish female friends... but only if they're inferior in rank or class to her. 

(Because they don't want equals who would show up how boring and unremarkable she is; they want to give her subordinates. Two of her friends are servants, one is a waitress, and the last is a receptionist.) 

The irony is: that they are showing, multiple times, that women with all Pggy’s character traits and aesthetic are villains. 

They’re saying it’s untypical for someone with all Pggy’s qualities to not be a villain. 🤦‍♀️

#long post #antipeggy #antisteggy #p*ggy meta #mcu meta #mcu critical #steggy is hydra trash party #meta #mcu #toAyourQ #hey nonny #dat's me #god can you believe The Good Place used to be satire #yet each man queues the thing he loves #cynthia glass

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Super late to the discussion but I’ve been underfunded with spoons lately and I try not to engage much with the mcu discourse nowadays but I’ve seen the discussion about Peggy Carter and the Cynthia Glass inspiration on my dash lately and I’ve been thinking.

It would actually make a lot of sense for an original concept for the movie to have Peggy (Cynthia?) actually be a nazi spy. The movie feels somewhat unbalanced at times, with Steve having... a little too many helpers. The villains are clear-cut villains, Hodge is just a bully and never really feels relevant to the plot at all. Philips is skeptical about Steve’s abilities, but is never really a strong obstacle for Steve, who eventually just goes and does his thing.

Erskine is a helper, Peggy is a helper, Howard is a helper. Bucky is the love interest damsel in distress war movie tragic companion. The US army becomes a helper once Steve proves himself. The narrative ends up being a little flat, as, as soon as Steve picks up the first shield... everyone helps him against the bad guys.

If Peggy were a spy, though? She would be a wonderful foil to Erskine, a German person who helps in the fight against the nazi regime.

And also that would put her in a position where she would totally help Steve... in a way that turns sinister once you reveal where her loyalties lie. Consider this: Steve’s superior officers deny him the permission to go and save American soldiers from nazi territory, because it’s too dangerous and the last thing they need is to lose more men, especially the only one with a functional supersoldier serum in his veins. Peggy, on the other hand? Absolutely encourages the only person on whom the supersoldier serum works to walk right into the place where Armin Zola works. Gives him all the help possible to do so.

Oh, whoops.

See? The narrative of the movie becomes considerably more interesting. Her character becomes considerably more interesting (despite what some seem to think, there’s little interesting in a girlboss who is not like other girls).

But of course the movie didn’t do that eventually. In fact, they did something else with her... which could have been even much more interesting, actually! But no, we cannot have good things.

Her being a nazi spy would have made CATFA more interesting, but the actual way they chose for her character would have been even better if they had actually addressed it instead of just dropping it into the bin where everything that isn’t supportive of the American imperialistic status quo gets yoten.

You know, she does not have to be a nazi spy. She can just be on her own side. (With Zola.) She has her own goals. She wants the nuclear weapon supersoldier for those. She runs fictional cointelpro after the war, for fuck’s sake. It’s funny (in a “aha MCU you’re so funny and imperialistic and funny” way) she’s British, because she is... the United States of America. But okay. I digressed from what was supposed to be the point of this post but... I mean. Either nazi spy or female J. Edgar Hoover in red lipstick, it’s not like we have a large array of good choices.

But Margaret Tatcher had girl power logic makes people forget about Black men, so.

#anti peggy carter #i believe this is the tag for this topic #not mcu friendly #my mcu thoughts #mcu

[221bshrlocked]

I still think Marvel missed out with Comic #2...

#captain america comic 2 #steve and bucky save the american from the nazis #by cross dressing #how fucking genius is that #i love it #marvel #you had one job #captain america #bucky barnes #i love this so much

[battlships]

Hello friends it’s 5am and I want to talk about a few things: Jewish Bucky, Steve the golem, and the importance of Sam and Bucky’s dynamic. This is gonna get long so I’ll put a cut in at some point

okay so Bucky in the MCU is based off two characters, Bucky Barnes, Captain America's sidekick and Arnie Roth, Steve Rogers' childhood best friend who saved him from bullies growing up. Arnie is gay and Jewish (Roth is a very typical Jewish name without being a stereotype). Remember these characters were all originally created by Jews and names are very important in Jewish culture. Now, Steve is a character who was metatextually created by Jewish writers to fight the Nazis (and therefore protect the Jewish people). A golem is a being created from clay to protect the Jews in times of trouble. There's a whole extra thing about truth  and death that i can get into at another point BUT that's not super important right now because Steve is a different kind of golem.

Steve obviously is also his own character within the context of the story, so he's a metaphorical golem. The writers created him to fight the Nazis like I said... but textually he's also a golem, "created" in a sense by the Jewish scientist Abraham Erskine... to fight the nazis and protect the Jews. Futhermore, while it's a different kind of star to not be quite so obvious, the Hebrew words for "star of David" is "magen david" or "shield of David" and what does Steve fight with? 

A shield. With a star. And he uses that shield to save his Jewish best friend from the Nazis.

(Side note, Jewish prisoners were more likely to be selected for experimentation, which is what was happening to Bucky when Steve found him.)

So now that we've gotten all of that established, let's talk about why it's so important that Sam isn't give the super soldier serum (in canon, please have fun with all your fics and headcanons) but Bucky is. Bucky was held captive by a fictional group of people that started off with the Nazis and have since morphed into something different, something possibly more dangerous, because it's hidden. He was held captive and tortured by Neo-Nazis. (I hope I don’t need to explain that Soviet Russia was also not a big fan of the Jews.) He was also forced to do terrible things to survive, something with which many white Jews have to reckon.

Bucky ultimately can’t be held responsible for his actions by any law, but he is morally held responsible and takes it upon himself to make amends. This is a very Jewish concept of forgiveness (not to say it doesn’t exist in other cultures). According to Jewish law, a person can’t be granted forgiveness by G-d unless they’ve truly and genuinely undergone “teshuvah” or “repentance”. This means a sincere attempt at making amends to the person you’ve wronged, or to their family. I don’t know if the FAWS team knew what they were doing here, but honestly kudos either way. 

Teshuvah is not just about making amends though, it also involves self-reflection.

The elements of teshuvah include rigorous self-examination and require the perpetrator to engage with the victim, by confessing, expressing regret and making every effort possible to right the wrong that he committed.

What is therapy if not self-examination? 

That also makes it very important that Bucky isn’t really making amends in the way that Jewish law requires until Sam sets him straight. Now, let’s talk about Sam for a bit. Samuel Wilson, a black man who grew up in modern day America, and in FAWS it’s the American South. He’s constantly bombared by an image of America that has never fought for him. But when he’s handed the shield by Steve, he doesn’t become a golem the way Steve was... and he’s never given the serum. On one level that’s good because it would harken back to the Tuskegee Experiments, which is very blatantly referred to with Isaiah. But I feel like I’m probably not overstepping any bounds as a white person to say that maybe we don’t need more torture porn. If I am feel free to call me out. 

That said, I think it’s really important that with Sam and Bucky, the dynamic is flipped. Whereas Steve, in his position of social power over Bucky as a white goyische man (though still a victim of some oppression himself as a working class Irish Catholic in the 30s) was the one saving Bucky (after Bucky saved him when he was physically weaker), now Bucky the white Jewish man is the physically stronger one who protects, defends, and uplifts the black man wearing the stars and stripes. When Steve first had his Captain America moment, Bucky shouted to the crowd “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” Steve was a vehicle for a Jewish voice. Meanwhile Sam’s Captain America moment involved him getting to directly yell at US senators over their refusal to help the people of their country and the world who need them, despite the fact that they very easily could. After Sam gets to have his voice heard, Bucky quietly tells him, “Good job, Cap.” It’s not Bucky’s place to speak for Sam, but to validate and support him instead.

There is a long history between the Jewish and Black communities, one of both contention and support, with a hell of a lot of crossover. We are often pitted against each other by white goyische society despite the fact that we have common goals, and Sam and Bucky are a really great (probably mostly accidental) metaphor for what we can accomplish working together. While Bucky is a victim of white supremacy as a Jew, he also benefits from it as a white man, so it’s his responsibility to use that whiteness to defend Sam when he needs it (both in battle - Bucky will often jump in front of Sam to take a hit meant for him - and in society in general, like when Sam was justifiably angry at him and the cops started hassling Sam for his ID).

Anyway this ramble was partly brought to you all by the batshit take that Bucky in FAWS is actually supposed to be a Nazi and the moral of FAWS is that we’re supposed to forgive Nazis. Shoutout to Noah Berlatsky for muting me on twitter when I tried to argue with him about it. Bucky isn’t a Nazi, he’s a Jew who suffered under white supremacy and also helped to perpetuate it but is now attempting to make amends and uplift black voices.

#Bucky Barnes #Sam Wilson #Steve Rogers #TFATWS #FAWS #falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier #MCU #Jewish Bucky Barnes #mine #meta #jewish meta #yes i'll be eternally mad about that 'bucky is a nazi' take #what a fucking idiot lol #also sam and bucky are married i don't make the rules #i'm also quite obvously very biased #i love bucky and part of why i love bucky is bc i percieve him as jewish #but it's because his story doesn't really make sense if he's not

[vidavalor]

SamBucky and Bucky's often-misunderstood shield-related meltdown at the start of Ep 2.

I want to talk about Bucky and the shield, particularly at the start of TFATWS, and why I think some people might be misinterpreting his obsession with Sam having it a bit. Consider this some different insight from a trauma-trained trauma survivor here...

It's not all about Steve. It's really about the trauma Bucky's been through and was *still going through* as a result of his situation at the start of TFATWS. Let's talk about this and how it pertains to SamBucky, in particular, as well as the characters individually. Meta/analysis ahead...

The first thing you have to realize is that while the shield is technically the signature symbol of Captain America to the world, it really is, symbolically, the signature symbol of Bucky Barnes. Go back to those pre-serum days in the alleys of Brooklyn and Bucky was acting as Steve's literal human shield. Steve would have died ten times over and never lived to be Captain America without Bucky saving him all those times so, symbolically? That dude who winds up with a vibranium arm is the human embodiment of that vibranium disk that keeps the Caps safe. Bucky doesn't exactly *think* of himself this way consciously but *unconsciously*, he affiliates himself with the shield because both are meant to protect men he's known who have become Captain America. Bucky is very clear on what that means to him and why it's important to him and it's not blind nationalism motivating him.

Bucky follows the man, not the symbol. He followed Steve, not Captain America. That doesn't mean that he doesn't believe in the values that Steve-as-Cap stood for but it means that he knows well that what Captain America is is subject to whoever is holding the shield. This is largely the plot of TFATWS-- two guys who are good men, not good soldiers, just as Steve was, wrestle back this symbol of American patriotism from a man who is the opposite-- a good soldier and a not good man. No matter whatever else you believe about their relationship, Bucky believed in Steve being a good man and that being something worthy of supporting and when Bucky looks back on his life by the time he gets to TFATWS, it's the thing in his life that he's most proud of having done. Bucky is patriotic in a positive, realistic sense; he believes in fighting fascism and defending freedom, in those values that he and Steve stood for. As Bucky tells Karli, though, in TFATWS finale, he signed up to fight for something bigger than himself in doing that but feels that he "failed twice".

He is referring to the two times that he was captured by the Nazis that led to him becoming the complete opposite of everything he stood for-- a Russian-controlled, brainwashed, killing machine-- for decades. This is, objectively, not his fault. Some part of Bucky does know and understand this but we know that he's still working through his guilt over it, as that's a large part of his plot in TFATWS. There is a reason why the show gives us Bucky and Sam's stories separately in the first episode and I think that Sam's tends to land with more clarity by the beginning of the second episode whereas Bucky's can take until Episode 3 to really be more fully understood, which results in fans having kind of a skewed perspective on why Bucky won't stop going on about the shield to Sam in Ep 2.

Obviously, Bucky personally thinks that Sam is perfect for it and would and does back him up when he decides to do this but what Bucky is trying to say to Sam is that he's upset that Walker has it for a variety of reasons, some of which are the same as Sam's and one really important one that is different and Sam won't really understand fully until the police station part of the plot. The reason why we had to have an episode of them apart is so that we can understand how they are *both* in their own heads when it comes to what they think the other is saying at the start of the reunion scene in Ep 2.

When Sam says that Bucky isn't going to come in here in his overextended life and tell Sam what his rights are, Bucky blinks because he hadn't meant what he was saying like that-- and Sam realizes that. Two seconds later, they're literally bantering about The Hobbit. The same guy who just flipped on Bucky as much as Bucky was flipping on Sam is, a heartbeat later, beaming with pride at "a sorcerer is a wizard without a hat!" because he's not really upset *at* Bucky, just as Bucky isn't really upset *at Sam*. They're both pissed off about Walker because this is another case of the government having let them both down. This is a Black man from Katrina-wrecked Louisiana and a soldier who was left behind enemy lines for seven decades here. Neither of them are naive but both of them are always at least hopeful and this is now a problem they know they both have to fix and they aren't sure how to do that or what will happen to them when they try. They're *worried* about one another and about the consequences of Walker having the shield, which is why Sam proceeds to tell Bucky exactly where he's going and Bucky follows him on the plane. This is all in *the same scene*... the fighting, the flirting, the mock-bickering they don't mean that they keep up as a kind of front and a bridge to the beginning of their relationship with one another, and the concern and need to protect each other.

So, why then is Bucky still like SAM THE SHIELD WE HAVE TO FIX THIS NOW IM GONNA DIE IF WE DONT NOW NOW NOW? lol Two reasons:

1. What Bucky is proud of having done in his life-- the things that keep him from blowing his brains out most days and are keeping him going in the face of trying to deal with the aftermath of his Winter Soldier years-- is fighting against the fascists during the war and backing up the ultimate anti-fascist symbol in their universe, Captain America. He's proud of his relationship with the good man who wore that uniform and carried that shield. It's less about *Steve himself* than it is about how this is something Bucky was a part of in his life that makes him feel worthy of still being alive and hopeful that he's not a totally terrible person and can find his way back to doing that kind of good again.

and, the bit that Sam doesn't fully understand until Ep 3...

2. The shield is power. That power was just handed over to someone who will abuse it. Bucky is being abused and is, as a result, powerless.

Let me explain this a bit more. Bucky knows it was not Sam's fault that Walker got the shield. It wasn't like Sam handed it over to Walker and Bucky doesn't see it like that. He knows that Sam did what he thought was right and tried to preserve a legacy of what Steve and the shield meant, gave it to the Smithsonian, all that. It isn't Sam's fault that he didn't foresee that Trumpy elements within the government would then turn around and try to warp it that symbolism for their own fascist agenda (paralleling our own real world and, darkly hilariously, the MAGA idiots who do not understand that Captain America is the definition of anti-fascism & has been since its first comics were written.) Bucky agrees that it isn't Sam's fault. It's also noteworthy that Bucky didn't go running to Sam to bitch after Sam gave the shield *to the Smithsonian*, he only shows up upset when *the shield ends up with Walker* and even though he's saying "you had no right", he doesn't mean it and Sam knows that. He rolls his eyes and is like "great, our mutually iffy communication skills are going to make this morning fun." (Note that Sam entirely knows that Bucky doesn't mean that. He shuts it down with the "my rights" comment but he is flirting with him a heartbeat later. He gets what Bucky is trying to convey because he's upset about it all, too.)

We understand why Sam snaps at Bucky with the "my rights" comment and then looks like he regrets it a bit because he knows Bucky doesn't think like that because we just watched Ep 1 and Sam's story and met Sarah and learned about the family business and had the bank scene and we get that Sam's motivation for giving up the shield is, in part, motivated off of his experiences of being Black in America-- that his conflict over love of a country that has continuously failed people like him is a fundamental part of who he is. He's especially sensitive to it at that moment because he's been living in Sarah's world for awhile between missions, he's failed to get that bank loan and feels like he's failing his family and is angry about it and, to add icing to this awful cake, these assholes then turned around and gave the shield to the anti-Steve.

He knows, though, that Bucky wasn't trying to tell him that he wasn't within in his rights to decide what to do with the shield-- the end of Endgame would prove that any day. But because Sam is understandably thinking about his decisions regarding the shield from just his own perspective, he fails to see that Bucky is coming at it from a place of fear that is making him fixate and lash out about it as a result of trauma he's suffered and is still suffering. Bucky, for his part, is not an idiot-- he knows there are plenty of reasons why Sam wouldn't want the shield and that many of them have to do with his experience as a Black man in America. He's limited in thinking about them in that moment because, like how Sam is only coming at the conversation from his perspective and not seeing the full weight of what is behind Bucky's motivation, Bucky is not seeing the full weight of Sam's motivation because he, too, is coming at it from his perspective.

Bucky is nothing short of panicking in this moment and it's not just because it hurts to see some asshole carrying the shield that belonged to their friend and it's not even just the untold amount of damage this could do to America and the world. Bucky is panicking because his already tentative grasp on control over his life is now going to completely unravel as a result of who is in power.

Jump with me to the police station sequence. This is where Sam really begins to understand that Bucky's sense of freedom is far more limited than Sam realized. Everyone has been telling Bucky that he's free, right? He's not brainwashed anymore, he's not a fugitive. He can live in his hometown of Brooklyn. He can do what he wants. Except, we slowly realize this isn't the case. His pardon is only going to be continued if he follows rules put into place by the same people in government who are behind John Walker's ascension to Captain America. His schedule is controlled by mandated therapy appointments with a therapist he cannot choose, who weaponizes his past (threatens to write in a book when he was controlled by one for years) and controls his present (checks his government-issued phone). Sam is completely floored by a police encounter in a black neighborhood that results in *Bucky* being the one in the back of a squad car. It all comes to ahead when Walker arrives and Sam sees the truth of it in a single scene: Walker controls Dr. Raynor and he's the one with the power to get Bucky out.

Not Sam, not the therapist... the asshole with the shield.

The one who then calls Bucky, to his face, an "asset" that is too important to be "tied up", knowing full well about Bucky's history of being a brainwashed, weaponized asset against his will and using language that evokes his torture and imprisonment.

It's at that moment that Sam realizes that Bucky, back at the start of Episode 2, wasn't just pissed off and concerned for the country-- he was completely and utterly terrified of being forced into being something that was out of his control again, in a way that would have been way worse because there was no brainwashing this time. Just a government-- Bucky's *own*-- treating him inhumanely and like a prisoner.

It's why Sam lays it down so hard with Walker in the parking lot after they leave the station in the scene that I privately think is secretly the most romantic one in TFATWS (yeah, even more than holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes in Ep 5)...

He tells Walker to go pound sand in that calmly badass way that Sam can achieve because he knows better than to rock the boat at this point in time but he does it by specifically saying that they won't work with Walker and Lemar because all that government red tape is for Walker to wade through and it wouldn't make sense for them to team up since he and Bucky? "We're free agents."

*We* are *free* agents.

Sam makes it abundantly clear that it's not just him who is a consultant for the military at this point-- not just Sam's own consulting for the Air Force that he's referring to-- but that Bucky, in Sam's mind, is also not within the jurisdiction of the government in any way. It's Sam's way of saying "listen, asshole, if you ever speak to my husband like that again, you won't like at all what comes next" and Walker knows it. It's what prompts the whole "then get out of my way" and the real sense of war between them, of Walker stopping trying to play the Walker version of nice.

It's also a good portion of why Sam is especially soft with Bucky after the police station. That has another layer as well of how he thinks he stepped out of line during Raynor's mandated therapy session but that's another, connected analysis, really... but notice how Sam tries to keep the bitter mocking banter up when Bucky meets him outside with the whole "well, I feel better" and Bucky is just "I feel awful" with complete, if dry, genuineness and Sam backs it off. He realizes Bucky doesn't want to mock-snipe-fight anymore-- he's tired and feels terrible and wants to be real for awhile. So, after Sam tells Walker to go fuck himself, he and Bucky are just walking together and talking about the next move and Sam listens to what Bucky's idea is.

Bucky's idea is Zemo. The reason why Sam goes along without much issue with Bucky's Zemo plans-- from the idea of it in the first place to accepting that Bucky broke him out of prison-- is because Sam recognizes how much Bucky hasn't been able to really own his own life and recovery from all of this ever since Sam has gotten a glimpse at how trapped he's felt. He's letting Bucky drive the car, metaphorically-speaking, because he sees how much Bucky has still been being controlled and is horrified, so he's trying to be supportive and give him room to deal with his trauma. He's treating Bucky like a person and a partner.

Sam also clearly admires the way that Bucky basically said okay, so, if we're doing this, there's really only way through to solving this problem and that's to go meet with the asshole who tortured and mind-raped me and I'm fully willing to go do that. Sam goes along with that, in part, because he's blown away by how brave that is. This is where Sam's experience with trauma personally and as a therapist (NOT BUCKY'S THERAPIST but just as a therapist in general having treated cases like this) really helps him to understand what Bucky needs. He offers support and lets Bucky choose of it what he feels he needs. Notice how he goes with Bucky to the prison and offers to go in with him instead or alongside him and lets Bucky choose what he feels comfortable with. Bucky, for his part, doesn't want Sam near Zemo as much as possible and needs to do the first confronting of Zemo himself. Sam respects that. Obviously, he's not thrilled when Bucky breaks Zemo out of prison but Bucky knows Sam well enough and knows that Sam trusts him enough that he'll get over it because, for the mission's sake, it actually was the only strategic move to play. Sam folds and goes along with it with barely any fuss because he knows and trusts Bucky and Bucky loves that. He's gone from a person being treated as a prisoner of his own government back to the respected partner of a man who loves him and doesn't have an issue with him having a sense of free will in the span of an episode. He feels safer, which empowers him then to go run the gauntlet of other challenges to his trauma throughout the rest of the season.

The point is that, at the beginning of Episode 2 when Sam and Bucky reunite, they're both still stuck in their own traumas as a result of having been separated for a bit but it's very clear that neither has any desire to let any of it get in the way of their relationship with one another. The same scene that has them bicker-fighting has them switch to flirting and then Sam tells Bucky all about the mission he's going on that he won't admit aloud he's now nervous about, especially after realizing there's a faction of the government who screwed him over about Walker, and Bucky immediately follows him on the plane, insisting on coming with him to protect him. That this is all the same scene just shows you from the very beginning of TFATWS that these two love one another and know one another enough to see through to what each other is really trying to say behind whatever scared, angry thing is said in the moment.

What Bucky winds up showing Sam is that the shield is power. It's transformational power. The thing about TFATWS is that if you look at it closely, you notice that these two guys who seem to have wildly different plots are really having the same paralleling issues within those plots. One of those issues is a pervasive sense of feeling powerless to change their situations. For Bucky, that was tied to the government control we discussed. For Sam, it was about dealing with the aftermath of a government that didn't do enough-- his family's struggling business, the legacy of that alongside the legacy of the shield, the weight of feeling like he was pulled between his family and his country all the time. Sam ultimately chose to retire the shield to the Smithsonian because he didn't see it as something entirely of his world. He told Steve that it felt like it was "someone else's" when he was given it and I don't think that feeling left in the six months of trying to decide what to do with it and how to honor his friendship with Steve and Steve's legacy in the process.

Sam was split even during those six months-- partly consulting for the government, for the Air Force he quit before meeting Steve, working through a lot of trauma related to that or trying to. (The Captain Vanzant mission at the start of Ep 1 is him successfully moving through Riley-related trauma, much like how Bucky gets to do similar things with The Winter Soldier in Madripoor later on.) When he's not on a mission, though, he's in Delacroix, with his sister, feeling guilty about the years she's been alone, trying to save their family business whose struggles financially are no doubt rooted in part from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina years ago and trying to survive that. He's up to his eyeballs in every trauma that he's suffered related to his family-- the losses of his parents, his brother-in-law and I'm willing to guess, his and Sarah's older brother. He's been dumped into a new world where he's a surrogate dad to two young boys he's just really getting to know.

Atop all of that, he's a bit introverted, still full of more anger and trauma than he has been able to fully process, and he's not sure that makes him the best messenger for the ultimate symbol of what America can be. (It actually does but he wasn't sure of that.) I'm also sure that one of his reasons for turning down the shield was, ironically, Bucky himself, even if they weren't really communicating about this. I think that Sam wouldn't give up Bucky for anything, no matter what the nature of their relationship is at any given point, and he felt like Bucky deserved privacy to work through his issues and some peace and quiet after everything and didn't want to shine a spotlight on him by becoming Captain America.

He decided that the shield needed to die with Steve and become part of the museum exhibit and what I love about this is that the setting for all of this at the Smithsonian proves that this is actually impossible-- they leave the shield in the same exhibit that features the still-living, still-trying-to-thrive, human-shield-symbol Bucky Barnes. Instead, the end of the story will go back to the Smithsonian exhibit and see Sam impacting it in a different way by adding Isaiah, making it more balanced and fair and true to a more fully realized sense of history. It's symbolic of recognizing a true past by putting Isaiah into the exhibit but taking back from the exhibit the still present symbol of the shield.

Ultimately, TFATWS give us a love story about two guys who are obsessed with empowering the other one to see themselves the way the other sees them. Taking back the shield from Walker isn't just taking back the sociopolitical power that comes with it-- it's not just impacting the U.S. and the world on that level-- but it's about Sam and Bucky each helping one another to take back their own personal sense of power. Sam helps Bucky get free of the government's grasp enough to really work through his trauma on his own terms. Bucky helps Sam to see that the shield isn't a symbol of the past but a tool for the present and that leaving it behind was just the same as Bucky running in place with his own trauma-- it was giving in to a feeling of powerlessness, instead of claiming what power he had and using it to enact the changes he wants to see in his own life and the world around him.

On the journey through that, they protect one another at every turn and do their best to try to show one another they understand what the other is going through. They aren't perfect at it. Sam gets snappy and impatient and regrets it. Bucky gets snide and angry and regrets it. They know one another well enough to know what to let slide and what the other needs to hear and how to show up for one another. Sam needed Bucky to show up and help him feel less overwhelmed by everything he was dealing with at home. Bucky needed Sam to tell him he sees him as he is and not as an extension of Steve and that he loves him in his own right (which is really what that tough love is all about). What's touching about Sam and Bucky is how much they try for one another, how much effort they put into supporting each other -- how they were thrown together in the world's most traumatic meet-cute and have just been choosing each other, over and over again, ever since.

So, yeah. It's not just Bucky yelling at Sam that he should have taken the shield, it's really about why Bucky's so scared at the idea of a shield that is not with Sam or in the Smithsonian, how that would make him even more of a prisoner of his own government and how that would derail the thing he considers the best thing he's ever done, which is backing up and fighting fascists alongside Steve's Captain America. It's fear and trauma, not racism and intentional aggression, and Sam can recognize that as he's segueing the fight into The Big Three conversation within seconds so I think maybe more of us need to consider it from that perspective, too.

#sambucky #sambucky headcanons #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #captain america #the winter soldier

[endsinafight]

Sam Wilson in 1.04

Sam has continually shown why he deserves the mantle of Cap, but it’s even more obvious in his episode. I mean... Bucky is a good guy (and he was Cap for a time in the comics), but I think the show is doing a good job showing why Sam is the better choice. Bucky is awesome at violence, even if it isn’t necessarily his first choice, but he lacks the wisdom Sam has. He lacks the emotional intelligence.

Sam Wilson IS Captain American, shield or no, even though honestly the world may not even deserve him. He looks at people with compassion. He’s smart - and wise (which is not the same thing). He doesn’t get caught up in the heat of the moment and forget that he’s dealing with real human beings. Even when someone hits him where it hurts the most - Karli threatens his family - he still goes to talk to her. He doesn’t immediately open fire at her face, he gives her a chance to explain herself. 

I remember way back in the Winter Solider movie when Steve was talking to Sam about saving Bucky and Sam said,  "Look, whoever he used to be, the guy he is now, I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop."

The kind you stop. Because for Sam, it’s never been about killing. Even the Winter Soldier. Sam wanted him stopped. This is the same flavor statement that Steve gave to Dr. Erskine when asked if he wanted to kill Nazis. “I don’t like bullies, I don’t care where they’re from.”

That’s Sam’s attitude. He’s not about revenge, and he’s not about mindless aggression. He isn’t in it for his ego, or to get anything for himself. (Clearly, his family has not been taken care of by the government despite all he’s already done.) He’s out there risking himself because he wants to help people. Because even without the serum, he’s ready to jump into the fray and fight - if necessary - to stop innocent people from getting hurt. Even though he’s been hurt. Even though his family has been hurt. Even though, after saving the world he can’t even get a bank loan to save his family home.

Sam Wilson is selfless. Sam Wilson is a real hero.

#tfatws spoilers #tfatws #tfatws 1x04 #sam wilson #sam wilson meta #sam wilson is my captain

[captainpikeachu]

So having recently rewatch the first Cap movie for my MCU rewatch, I have so much feels about the ways many things about Steve in this film actually echoes John’s story in TFATWS.

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Steve: Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me. Bucky: Right. Cause you got nothing to prove.

In a way, Steve did have something to prove, to prove that he could do his part for the war effort and not be left behind, forgotten, considered worthless, and not given a chance. He fights to have the chance to prove himself. In this way so did John. John comes into the story with a chip on his shoulder, to prove that he could live up to the legacy and the mythology set by Steve. His chance to prove that he could do the right thing and help people.

The thing is though, Erskine did give Steve a chance to prove himself, he believed in Steve and had faith. John never really had someone who would fight for him and believe in him on his behalf to others.

-----------

Phillips: Hodge passed every test we gave him. He’s big, he’s fast, he obeys orders. He’s a soldier. Erskine: He’s a bully. Phillips: You don’t win wars with niceness, doctor. You win war with guts.

I know that everyone consistently compares John to Hodge, that John is what Erskine was afraid of happening and what would have been if Hodge had been given the serum. But that surface level comparison is misleading at best, because when Phillips throws that fake grenade to test everyone’s guts, Hodge runs away. John would have jumped on the grenade just like Steve did. John wouldn’t have hesitated. Hodge was a bully who purposefully tried to mess with Steve in training and mocking him. John didn’t purposefully try to mess around with anyone, he only ever just wanted to do his duty just like Steve did. In fact, John has far more in common with Steve than he ever does with Hodge. 

Phillips said that you win war with guts, and Steve jumping on that grenade showed that he had guts, this links directly to John's comments while doing that GMA interview, he specifically brings up that he may not have flashy gadgets or super-strength but that he has guts and that’s what Captain America always had and needed. And John does have guts, nobody earns 3 Medals of Honor without having guts.

-----------

Erskine: The serum amplifies everything that is inside. So, good becomes great. Bad becomes worse. This is why you were chosen. Because a strong man, who has known power all his life, will lose respect for that power. But a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion.

This comment from Erskine is often used by fandom to show why John is the wrong choice as opposed to Steve. He’s the bad that becomes worse or the strong man who has had power all his life. But that interpretation is only there if you take everything Erskine says to be a binary choice of good and bad. It’s this automatic assumption that because John is not Steve, then he has to be the bad. Except John is really the middle ground. He has light and darkness within him, it’s a constant civil war, the serum didn’t just amplified everything bad to become worse, it also amplified the good in him to become great. The interpretation that John is a representation of only “bad becomes worse” plainly ignores John’s decision in Episode 6 to let go of revenge to save people. This choice was made AFTER he got the serum, if he is only bad that becomes worse, then he wouldn’t have saved those people. By saving those people, John shows that the serum doesn’t simply work on a binary standard, just like people aren’t binary of only good and only bad. John’s story deepens what the first Cap movie set up about how the serum works, and shows a story progression that is very much like how in real life as kids, we are first taught those fairy tale stories of good versus evil, but we grow up and learn the world is more complex and that people aren’t just one thing or another.

-------------

Senator Brandt: With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we may be missing the point. I’ve seen you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country’s seen it. Paper. The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands. You don’t take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab. Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war? Steve: Sir, that’s all I want. Senator Brandt: Then, congratulations. You just got promoted.

---

Steve: I don’t know if I can do this. Brandt’s Aide: Nothing to it. Sell off a few bonds, bonds buy bullets, bullets kills Nazi’s. Bing bang boom. You’re an American hero. Steve: It’s just not how I pictured getting there.

---

Peggy: I understand you’re "America’s New Hope"? Steve: Bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state I visit. Peggy: Is that Senator Brandt I hear? Steve: At least he’s got me doin’ this. Phillips would have had be stuck in lab. Peggy: And these are your only two options? A lab rat or a dancing monkey? You were meant for more than this, you know?

Steve’s desire for service and duty being manipulated by politicians to sell bonds is the exact same scenario as John’s desire for service and duty being manipulated by politicians to make him the new Captain America. It’s even echoed by Val’s continued manipulations in using John’s loyalty to service and country into getting him to do what she wants. 

Steve was nervous, reluctant, and unsure of going on stage to perform. We saw the same concerns that John had in that locker room before his big interview. Neither Steve nor John wanted the fame and pageantry, they just wanted to do the job, they just wanted to help, but both having to accept that the “dancing monkey” aspect came with the job description. 

But Steve breaks free of the confines of others’ demands of him because Peggy not only points out that he has other options, but also because it was in that moment he discovered that Bucky was either missing or dead and he could do something about it. If Steve wasn’t having that conversation with Peggy, if Steve hadn’t heard that Bucky was missing, then he might have just stayed with the USO tours and been a dancing monkey his whole life. Circumstances arose in Steve’s favor, and he had people who believed in him helping him to get to the goals that he wanted. John on the other hand lost the one person who did have faith in him and there was no way to bring Lemar back, and Val swooped in at the exact right time to give a lost and in-mourning person the opportunity to feel like not everything had been lost.

----------------

Senator Brandt: I am honored to present this medal for valor to my personal friend, Captain America!

This is an interesting moment because I don’t know if this “medal for valor” is a Medal of Honor or not, but if it was, then it makes Steve’s story and John’s story even more of a similar parallel.

-----------------

Private Lorraine: I read about what you did.  Steve: Oh! The…yeah! Well, that’s you know? Just doin’ what needed to be done. Private Lorraine: Sounded like more than that. You saved nearly four hundred men.

When Natalie Dormer’s character comments on how Steve was able to save nearly 400 men and get them back alive, all I could think about was Lemar’s line to John in Episode 4, “think of all the lives we could have saved that day if we had that serum.”

If John and Lemar had the serum on the day of the event that gotten John his Medals of Honor, maybe everyone could have made it back alive, maybe it wouldn’t have been the worst day of John’s life, maybe he wouldn’t have looked at those medals like badges of failure because he couldn’t save everyone.

And it also reminded me of comments from Wyatt Russell during an interview where he mentions that John was in the service while Steve was still operating as Captain America and going around to save the day, but Captain America never saved the day for John. In a way, there is almost a sense of resentment, that Captain America could save the day for everyone else, but John still had to fight through the horrors of war and find a way to survive on his own and protect his men, all without the serum, without Captain America’s help.

--------------------

Peggy: He damn well must have thought you were worth it.

Peggy’s comments to Steve about how Bucky must have thought Steve was worth dying for just reminds me of how Lemar jumped in to tackle Karli and stop her from killing John, all knowing of the risks to his own life, because Lemar definitely thought that John was worth dying for. 

--------------------

Anyways, these were just some of the moments that really jumped out at me in regards to how Cap 1 laid a very interesting foundation for what would be John’s story in TFATWS. This is why I love doing occasional rewatches, it really makes you look at the story in new ways when there’s new information that recontextualizes the film.

#john walker #steve rogers #lemar hoskins #wyatt russell #the falcon and the winter soldier #captain america the first avenger #marvel #mcu #tfatws #tfatws meta #marvel meta #mcu meta

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 4

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Out Of Time MASTERLIST

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Word Count: 2,325ish

Summary: Steve comes back bigger and with permission to take Y/N with him.

Warnings: none

Steve was gone before Y/N woke up in the morning. She understood that he probably thought that was best for both of them, but she couldn’t help but be a little angry at him. She went to work that day, and the weeks following, with a plastered smile on her face. She struggled to do what she had promised Steve she would do. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and cry until she couldn’t feel anything anymore. It was her day off, and she was planning on doing just that, when a knock sounded at her door.

“Coming!” She shouted as she slowly got off her bed. The knock impatiently sounded again. “I said I’m coming!” The knock sounded for a third time just as Y/N had reached the door. She pulled it open. “I said I was coming! Couldn’t you just—“ 

She stopped speaking at the sight before her. A large, blonde man in military uniform stood at her doorstep. Y/N studied him. He was all too familiar, yet not at the same time. When she meet his eyes, that’s when she realized who was standing at her doorstep.

“Stevie?” She gasped.

“Hey, Y/N,” he smiled. 

“What— How— You— You’re taller. An-and you—“

“I got chosen, Y/N/N. They actually chose me. And it worked.”

Y/N was speechless. She turned around and began pacing around the living room, leaving the door wide open for Steve to come in. He came in and carefully shut the door. Y/N silently paced as tears formed. She wanted him to come back, she had literally prayed that they wouldn’t choose him. And look what had happened? God laughed at her and made sure he became the chosen one.

“Are you going to say anything, Y/N/N?” Steve timidly asked after a few minutes of pain staking silence.

“What do you want me to say, Steve?!” Y/N stopped pacing, turned to her brother, and yelled. “Congratulations? Well, congratulations! You successfully became a science experiment and got to join the army! You get to go to Europe and be shot at! Hurray!”

“Y/N—“

“Don’t, Steve. Don’t try to make excuses.”

“I wasn’t going to make excuses. I was going to tell you that I’m actually not going to be heading into battle anytime soon.”

“What?” 

“They— um… they think that I should go around the country selling bonds.”

“Selling bonds? Why?”

“You didn’t see the paper?”

Y/N shook her head. “Haven’t wanted to… I’ve been afraid of what it might say.”

“I went after a Nazi. Saved a child. The story went Nation wide. They think that because of it, I’ll be able to sell bonds.”

“So… you’re not going to be shot at?”

“I still want to go and fight, and if this is how I get there, I’m okay with it.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know. But I got permission to take you with me. If you’re willing.”

Y/N sighed, running her hand over her face as she looked at the ground. “What I am suppose to do?”

“We’ll find you something.” Steve took a step forward. “You won’t be useless. I just…” He set his now large hands on her arms, running them up and down in comfort. “I just need you there with me. I need my sister’s support and I need to be able to take care of you.”

“Is this because you’re bigger than me now? Now that five minute difference is going to matter?” Y/N chuckled. “Yes. I’ll go with you.” 

Steve pulled her into his arms. It was definitely going to take some time for Y/N to get used to how large Steve had become. She wrapped her arms around his large frame. 

“I guess I finally have a big brother,” she teased.

“Hey! It’s not funny,” he laughed.

A week later, Steve and Y/N were in a large theater. It was filled with people. Steve was dressed in a red, white, and blue costume. Y/N was watching him as he stood at the center of the stage, just behind the curtain, trying to prepare himself to go out and face the crowd. She could tell he was nervous. Senator Brandt’s aide was there to make sure that Steve didn’t bail.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Steve second guessed, letting out a deep breath.

“Nothing to it,” Brandt’s aide said. “Sell off a few bonds, bonds buy bullets, bullets kill Nazi’s. Bing bang boom. You’re an American hero.”

“It’ just not how I pictured getting there.”

“The senator’s got a lot of pull up on the hill. You play ball with us, you’ll be leading your own platoon in no time. Take the shield.” Steve put on his mask and grabbed his shield.

“You got this, Steve,” Y/N walked up, smiling encouragingly at him. “Go get ‘em.”

Steve gave a nervous smile before taking another deep breath. Senator Brandt’s aide was clearly done with how long it was taking him, and pushed Steve onto the stage. The singers began singing and dancing as soon as he was out there. 

Y/N moved to the side of the stage to see better. Steve was nervous, clearly, and hadn’t memorized his lines. But he stayed up there, through it all. Afterwards, he signed autographs, with you right behind him. Life went on this way for weeks. Traveling to different cities around the country. Steve was embracing the name of Captain America and finally memorized his lines. The ladies were obsessed with him. Men wanted to be him. Children idolized him. You watched from a far, opting to just be Steve’s moral support, which was definitely needed. 

By the time November rolled around, Steve, Y/N, and the rest of the Captain America crew started touring Europe. They were touring the Allied military camps there. Y/N was confused how a man playing dress up would help cheer up the soldiers, but Senator Brandt insisted that Steve was needed there. And if Steve was told that he was needed, he was going to be there. Y/N was currently standing backstage, watching Steve get made fun of by the soldiers.

 She cringed as they yelled at him to bring the girls back out. Brandt’s Aide quickly ordered the girls back out and Steve came backstage.

“Don’t worry, pal,” Brandt’s Aide put a hand on Steve’s back. “They’ll warm up to you. Don’t worry.”

Y/N rolled her eyes as Brandt’s Aide walked away and she made her way towards her brother. “I knew we shouldn’t have come,” she stated. “Why would soldiers need a man dressed in tights to come and speak to them?” Steve glared at her. “Sorry, it’s just the truth.”

“I know…” Steve sighed as he took off his helmet. “I just believed that coming here would do some good…”

“No. You believed that by coming here, you would see some action. And don’t try to lie to me, Steve. We’re twins. I know you better than anyone else, sometimes even yourself. You just agreed to this tour to try to have an opportunity to fight.”

“Can we drop this right now?” Steve questioned as he pulled on his trench coat and grabbed his sketch book. “All I want is some quiet.” 

He turned around and headed to the back stairs. Y/N sighed as she watched him sit down and begin sketching. Rain started pouring, almost in perfect timing. Y/N eventually moved a chair to sit behind Steve and began reading a book. 

“Hello, Steve,” a British female voice broke the twins out of their thoughts. The woman came up from behind them, taking off her rain coat.

“Hi,” Steve looked up at the woman and greeted.

“You must be Y/N, Steve’s sister,” the woman smiled. “I’m Peggy.”

“Hi,” Y/N greeted. Steve had mentioned Peggy a few times in the past few months, aways blushing and stuttering. She could now understand why.

“What are you doin’ here?” Steve asked the woman.

“Officially, I’m not here at all.” Peggy just above Steve. “That was quite a performance.”

“Yeah. Uh… I had to improvise a little bit. Crowds I’m used to are usually more uh… twelve.”

“I understand you’re ‘America’s New Hope’?”

“Bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state I visit.”

“Is that Senator Brandt I hear?”

“At least he’s got me doin’ this. Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab.”

“And these are your only two options? A lab rat or a dancing monkey? You were meant for more than this, you know?”

“Oh, he knows,” Y/N muttered. “He just wishes he was out there fighting instead of dancing.” Steve hesitates. Obviously waiting to say something, either to Peggy or something about his sister’s comments, but stops.

“What? Peggy pressed.

“You know for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines,” Steve said almost wishfully. “Serving my country. I finally get everything I wanted, and I’m wearing tights.”

They’re interrupted by an ambulance honking. The trio turned around to watch the wounded soldiers be taken out of the ambulance. Tears form in Y/N’s eyes as the possibility of Bucky ending up that way. At the possibility of him returning to her in a coffin.

“They look like they’ve been through hell,” Steve stated as they still watched.

“These men more than most,” Peggy said. 

“What happened?” Y/N asked, unable to look away from the wounded men.

“Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano. Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the one-o-seventh. The rest were killed or captured.”

“The one-o-seventh?” Y/N and Steve questioned at the same time, suddenly standing up. They looked at each other. The one-o-seventh was Bucky’s division.

“What?” Peggy wondered, standing up as well.

“Come on!” Steve insisted, grabbing Y/N’s hand as they ran through the rain to the command tent. Peggy followed behind, holding her coat over her head. “Colonel Phillips,” Steve addressed as they entered the tent.

“Well, if it isn’t the Star-Spangled Man with a plan,” the Colonel sarcastically said as he sat at a desk. “And what is your plan today?”

“I need the casualty list from Azzano.”

“You don’t get to give me orders, son.”

“I just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the hundred and seventh.”

Colonel Phillips ignored Steve and pointed to Peggy. “You and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy.”

“Please tell us if he’s alive, sir,” Y/N begged. “B, A, R—“ 

“I can spell,” the Colonel cut her off. He looked at the trio before looking back down at the stack of papers in his hands. He stood up, carrying the papers with him. “I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry.” 

Y/N gasped, hand coming up to cover her mouth as she held in a sob. Steve stood there, tall, not letting that be the end of the conversation. He also didn’t want to show his hurt or weakness, though he held onto Y/N’s hand tighter.

“What about the others?” Steve questioned. “Are you planning a rescue mission?”

“Yeah! It’s called winning the war,” Colonel Phillips stated.

“But if you know where they are, why not at least—“

“They’re thirty miles behind the lines. Through the most fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save. But I don’t expect you to understand that, because you’re a chorus girl.”

Steve’s jaw clenched. “I think I understand just fine.”

“Well then understand it somewhere else. If I read the posters correctly, you got some place to be in thirty minutes.” Colonel Phillips walked away as Steve looked at the military map, clearly showing where the men were lost.

“Yes, sir. I do.” Steve quickly led himself and Y/N out of the tent and into the show tent.

“Steve,” Y/N whimpered once they were alone inside.

He quickly let go of her hand and pulled her into his chest. That’s when she let loose, let all the tears out. Y/N had never told Steve what had happened between her and his best friend, but it didn’t surprise Steve to see her acting like this. Bucky was her friend too. 

“I have to do something, Y/N,” Steve whispered.

“Please, no.” She gripped onto his shirt. “I can’t lose you too.”

“I’m sorry.” He pulled away and began changing and packing somethings. “I have to try and save the guys that are left.”

“What do you plan to do?” Peggy asked as she entered the tent, shaking off her coat. “Walk to Austria?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

“You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, we don’t,” Y/N cried. “But if you go in there, you’ll most likely die too. And then where does that leave me?”

“Colonel Phillips is devising a strategy,” Peggy stated. “If he detects—“

“By the time he’s done that, it could be too late!” Steve walked out to a jeep, the women following behind. “You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

“Every word.”

“Then you gotta let me go.” Steve jumped into the jeep.

“Steve! Please!” Y/N pleaded, grabbing onto his arm. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I have to do what’s right.”

“You can’t drive there, Steve,” Peggy stated. “I have a better way.”

next chapter >

Notes: Tags are struggling right now, for many writers. So I truly appreciate all the likes, comments, and reblogs. It means the world.

#tony stark x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #iron man x reader #captain america x reader #winter soldier x reader #tony stark imagine #Steve Rogers imagine #Bucky Barnes imagine #avengers imagine #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #nick fury x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #Phil Coulson x reader #howard stark x reader

[violetfaust]

(Belated) TFATWS 1.3 roundup

This will probably be surprising to anyone whom I’ve subjected to my megaton of tfatws reblogs--but ep 1.3 was my least favorite of the series so far. And unfortunately every time I try to put together my breezy little liveblogging impressions, I get immediately stuck wanting to write ten paragraphs of WHY it’s my least favorite, which, in so many words: too little Sam POV. And by this time, plenty of other people who agree with me on this have written plenty of thoughtful threads on why, so I am just going to...let it go. For the moment. (And maybe just make it a separate ten-paragraph post.) Anyway, tl;dr:

I still enjoyed the episode

I’m still loving the show

I still think we’ll get emotional and dramatic payoff; BUT

I’m disappointed with my fave’s treatment this time around.  

Okay! Got it down to one paragraph and a bulleted list. Onward.

I’m relieved that Isaiah is at least in the previouslys.

I dunno, man, that cheesy commercial alone doesn’t make the GRC seem like the good guys, even before you follow it up with Walker throwing his weight around.

“Do you know who I am?” And just like that, Walker shows his true colors and proves he’s not worthy of the legacy. Because he’s a person who allows power and fame to corrupt him.

So is Zemo Nazi/Hydra or is he just a Nazi/Hydra fanboy? 

“What are you reading?” “Machiavelli.” “Yeah, you definitely seem like the kind of guy to break out of high-security prison. This is a good idea.”

“We are NOT breaking him out!!!” *puppy dog eyes* “sigh. fine”

I know the fandom loves Zemo, but man he is a little bitch. It literally takes him three minutes to start breaking down both Bucky and Sam. How the fuck did he even get his hands on Bucky’s notebook? (see below) Excuse me, Steve’s notebook. <x3

“Heartbreaking: Worst person you know just made a great point.”--> Sam re: Zemo and Marvin Gaye.

So Karli is friends with a cute little girl, sees her mother/mentor die unnecessarily, and just wanted to be a teacher when she grew up, and we think she’s the villain? NO.

This is getting super long so....below.

Heartbreaking Pt. 2: Yes, Sam, Zemo is right and you look good in the suit. (That is impeccable pattern matching, btw. I did not watch seven seasons of Project Runway for nothing.)

Okay, I should save this for my ten-paragraph bitching post but: I KNOW the trope of “undercover guy has to eat something gross to pass” is objectively funny. But Sam is from Louisiana.  I can guarantee you the man has eaten frog and/or alligator AT LEAST once. In fact, since the family business is shrimping, there’s a non-zero chance that he has prepared and served super-gross foods such as six-inch sea cockroaches with heads and ganglia attached. He should NOT have been fazed by a cocktail with fresh snake gonads or whatever those were. You know what would have been a funny take? Sam knocks back the drink, then says: “Delicious. And [pointing to Zemo] one for my friend here.”  (AM is hilarious here though.)

“Power Broker, really?” Goes with “Smiling Tiger is a bad name” and “Battlestar? Stop the car!” (Frankly, a person still going by “Winter Soldier” does not have a lot of room to criticize here...)

How does Zemo wearing a cool coat and dancing like a cute dork make up for what he’s doing to Bucky here? Sebstan had tears shining in his eyes. 

Love language: “You good?”

The layers of Sam, an African American man from the South, watching another human, his friend, apparently being sold...

REALLY? Sam didn’t put his phone on silent? (Bless Sarah for being a civilian and not playing along...)

HOWEVER this is a pretty ugly reminder in this episode when Zemo is throwing around his zillions and his private plane while Sam can’t get a loan to save his family business.

Was it Sharon who killed Selby? I’m confused?

Sharon! Being the poster woman for landing on her feet. Good for her. And thank you, Sharon, for having a wardrobe of men’s wear in Bucky and Sam’s sizes. Although if you could have gotten one of them to wear that sequined number...

It is just hard to accept that Steve and the Avengers did her SO dirty that they simply ignored her in the two years they were on the run. (It also doesn’t gibe with Sam and even Bucky seeming to know Sharon, since they never met before CW.) Come to think of it though, I don’t remember how Steve even got himself pardoned after IW?

I’ve read the theories that she might be the Power Broker, which seems unlikely purely on the practical basis that if she was blipped for five years she’d lose her standing, but this is Marvel, so who cares about making sense? If she is, I hope she’s not treated as a flat-out villain; maybe she deliberately let Karli and her group get the SS serum rather than Hydra wannabes? 

Let’s hear it for Sharon--kicking ass and not even bothering with the names.

Nagel is the most villainous villain who has villained here so far. What a waste.

So there are up to twelve SS serum doses left. Calling it now: Walker is going to do whatever he has to in order to get his hands on one of them.

However I do NOT want Sam to take one. He doesn’t need to be superpowered to be a hero.

“Partners each convinced the other is the sidekick.” 

We’ve all been waiting for this callback.

That had better not be the last of Sharon. She has her own minion--this should be good.

Look: the only reason Bucky would even CONSIDER taking the shield is that Sam says he doesn’t want it. (And I’m not sure he even IS seriously considering it so much as trying to make Sam reconsider.)

So I said this elsewhere but: apparently Zemo is redeemable. Sharon killed about fourteen people this episode alone. Bucky killed “almost everyone he ever met.” Sam offed helicopters full of terrorists in ep 1. Karli’s victims are not exactly innocent--they are hoarding resources meant for those refugee children and sick people.  I am not giving up on my daughter for this. ;-)

Heartbreaking #3: Bucky and Sam were dead for five years so it’s not exactly fair to call them out for not visiting the Sokovia memorial but...would they have thought of it?

WAKANDA! Finally! They’ve been teasing it since ep 1 but I didn’t think we’d actually get there. (Although I’m 100% sure that Shuri is one of the nine numbers in Bucky’s phone.)

Not a lot of Sambucky this time around, although we did get

Sam being a sweetly worried boyfriend throughout. Sam calling him “Buck” at least three times--with no pushback. 

Bucky very determinedly NOT looking at ALL at shirtless Sam. Not at all. 

And POSSIBLY Bucky reading a self-help book about forming strong erotic love relationships. 

#tfatws #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #otp: coworkers #baron zemo #sharon carter #karli morgenthau #op

[amarriageoftrueminds]

Man I think it’s so telling that they used Stucky scenes instead of old Peggy scenes. They could have had one where Peggy kisses another person and Steve shoots at her out of jealousy, but they didn’t. Why? Because it would make Steve look like a complete asshole! And they can’t have their precious Steve Rogers coming off as a trigger happy incompetent. It just solidifies that Peggy was never a decent love interest, she was only supposed to be a build-up to Sharon in the present. It’s infuriating that Marvel is trying to push Peggy and Steve as this epic love story and destroying everything else in order to do it.

Yes ITA it's very very telling which scenes they didn't include in the universe where she's Heroic. 

(eg. no scene where Peggy jumps on a grenade, no scene where she is kissed against her will and then accused of being a slut because then they’ve have to admit they had a sexual assault scene against their hero and then had the love interest violently assault them too; no scene where she dresses up in red to try and entice Steve, no mention of Operation Paperclip.)

And that they did include a scene where she only talks to Zola for interrogative purposes (like we weren't going to see through what they're trying to whitewash there! We know damn well it didn't go that way IML!)

And some of the Steve scenes they parallel with her in his shoes I feel it's petty to have Peggy visibly outperforming him.

(The way she took out those bombers and tanks! The way she casually saved Bucky! If she and Steve are supposed to be identical in inner worth then that just frames his failure IML as somehow the fault of his gender?? And the guy who looked like big-Steve but gets punched by her- that scene would've had so much more resonance with the comics if it had been big Steve punching a fellow big blond Aryan-lookin' dude! The whole point of his appearance in the comics is meant to rub it in the Nazis faces!)

That isn't 'equality' that's just brinkmanship.

Just from a rep POV what's annoying is that Peggy would've been such an awesome villain and almost everything she claimed about herself would've been true... if she was a brilliant nazi spy! (Thereby keeping it nice and neat that Steve is separated from her.)

Could've been a whole Indiana Jones style plot-twist to reveal it, used as foreshadowing for later movies and this not being the last time someone untrustworthy gets in under Steve's guard. Also would've been like a subtle dig at RL American inherited hypocrisy to have her niece nevertheless in SHIELD in the present.

They can't admit they've shat the bed so now they've got to lie in it. 😪

#what if spoilers #what if #antipeggy #anti st*ggy #hey nonny #toAyourQ #catfa meta #mcu meta #meta #mcu #exposing the no homo double standard #they could've had steve and bucky together til the end of the line and everything would've come up smelling like roses but nooo #I'm just waiting for someone from d!sney to turn around and claim this is as queer rep because they Meant To Do That Actually #tbh sometimes I almost forget that st*ggy is supposed to be beloved because that is just not the case in the fandom at all #and the only st*ggy people I seem to come across are so deliberately-unpleasant angry myopic and sexist about it #that it's almost reassuring to be on the opposite side of the argument from them #tantamount to a compliment #What If: Peggy Was Actually Right About Herself #dat's me

[awesomerextyphoon]

A Warrior’s Heart | Phase 1: Welcome – 3

A Hero’s Welcome?

Summary: When someone with a connection to Steve’s past dies, he’s reminded of the promise he made to Dr. Erskine and whether or not he’s failed. Can Ife help him see that he hasn’t?

Characters: Steve Rogers, Ifekerenma ‘Ife’, Abraham Erskine (mentioned), Marlene Erskine (mentioned), Nick Fury, Eliza Maza, Azeneth Ramirez

Main Pairing: Stucky x Black!OFC (Ifekerenma ‘Ife’)

Rating: 18+/Explicit

Word Count: 5,801

Warnings: Depression, Talk of Death, Slightly Cynical Steve, Politics, Smutty Thoughts

A/N: I’m sorry that this so long. I really wanted to try something different with Erskine and the time around CA:TFA. Also, I wanted to explore how Steve would be feeling right after AoU (little bit of a downer, but it will get better). Furthermore, this story will diverge a bit from MCU in terms of Steve’s and Bucky’s abilities. Feedback is welcomed and greatly appreciated. Dividers were by the lovely @firefly-graphics​. Thanks to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for the beta!

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Early June 2015

“What do you have to report, Ifekerenma?”

Ife pursed her lips together,”Wanda is doing well with her training. Djamila and Nazaret had some sung her praises during their first session.”

It took a few days to convince the team and Fury to let her friends train Wanda. Luckily Nat had her back and Wanda was able to show the compound how much she improved from what Ife was able to teach her. Unfortunately, Azeneth was unable to make it due to being tied up with a BNA mission and relocating to the NYC division.

“That’s good to hear. Have you made made any progress with the others?”

Ife’s eyes casted down in thought. Vision was a no-go for now. Pietro was warming up to her, but he thought she was still suspicious (wasn’t wrong). She didn’t want to try Rhodey yet (too close to Tony). Nat was..difficult; she’ll try again later.

“I’m going to try Steve next. He seems like a safe bet, even with the serum. Hopefully, he won’t catch before it’s time. I will need Erskine’s folder though.”

Eliza’s lips turned upward in a small smile, “Agreed. I’ll have it sent to you within the hour. Best of luck, Ife.”

And with that, Ife got dressed and headed towards the common room.

  Steve leaned back and clasped his hands together behind his head in thought and vexation.

The 21st century must be fucking with him.

Right after Operation ‘Captain Briar Rose’, Steve went to Brooklyn. He could barely find any trace of his old neighborhood. The apartment complex where he and his mother lived was now a ritzy condominium with a Starbucks on the ground level.

All of the places he’d go with Bucky were now soulless veneers filled with empty promises of ‘happiness’ or ‘self-esteem’.

He remembered the time Bucky bailed him out of yet another beating by Arnie and his gang back in 1928. His mother berated him for getting in yet another fight while Bucky’s mom laughed and treated them to ice cream from the local sweets parlor. Bucky’s sisters – Rebecca, Rose, and Annabelle – were making a fuss and bursted out in giggles when Annabelle got ice cream in Bucky’s hair. It was one of the best days that year.

A T-Mobile now stands in its place.

All of his friends and comrades save Bucky and Peggy are dead; he nearly bawled in the middle of briefing when found out that Timothy ‘Dum Dum’ Dugan died and had a cry alone in his quarters afterwards.

Felt shitty about the current state of the country. It seemed as though everything has gotten worse. He found out about the Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq Wars. How income and wealth inequality has somehow gotten as bad as, if not worse, than the Gilded Age. Corruption has turned DC and NYC into dog and pony show.

He was furious at all of the politicians and corporations that wanted him to endorse them or their actions. They wanted Captain America’s helmet and shield to mask their heinous acts. They were the same if not worse than Senator Brandt.

Some days Steve wished SHIELD let him stay in the ice. Even worse, there were days he felt that Captain America was for an America that never was.

Nowadays, he felt even more like an anomaly.

It started when he got out of the ice. He felt a lot stronger and faster; only Thor knew the extent of it and he has to hold back a lot when fighting for fear of government asking for more of his blood. Though he suspected Ife and Natasha might be onto him.

He was a lot hungrier than before he went on ice as well. Often time, he would have late night ‘dinners’ (now it's every night), To be honest, he was a bit embarrassed at how much he ate, though the thought of pinning the blame on Ife did cross his mind. It wouldn’t work due to Ife almost never eating with the team and Sam said that he would know if Ife was the culprit. Steve suspected that Ife has been using her connections to restock the food between when he retired to his quarters and before the rest of the team came for breakfast. Also, she kept leaving him fun pop culture facts and media recommendations for the night.

Steve didn’t feel he could go to Dr. Cho since he doubted she had anything to go on in his case.

He did wonder if Ife could help him. She seemed to like helping the team and she was knowledgable about Non-Humans. Wanda’s rapid improvement in her powers and control bolstered his decision.

Sighing, Steve sat up straight in his chair and picked up the letter he received that morning. Marlene Philomena Erskine had passed away and he was invited to her funeral.

It was sad to have yet another link to his past slip from his grasp.

  Steve was finishing up another book to fight off his jitters. It was the night before the operation and he needed to have a few moments of respite from the war.

He was so engrossed in what he was reading that he failed to notice Dr. Erskine entering.

Erskine, for his part, was eyeing several books in Rogers’ makeshift bookshelf: They Odyssey, Of Mice and Men, Murder on the Orient Express, Tender is the Night, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Homage to Catalonia, and To Have and have Not.

“What do you think of the book?” Erskine asked as he sat across the startled recruit.

“Just finished. Y’think it wise to get buzzed before a major operation, sir?” Steve noted when he saw the bottle and two shot glasses on the bed.

Erskine chucked, “Calms my nerves a bit. What did you think of the book?”

Steve pressed his lips together for a moment, “It was a good read. The book had a lot of good points for something written eleven years ago.”

“What truths?”

“Well, for one thing, how technology is used to make the populace happy, but not better. The World Government found a way to get people to willingly trade self-expression, self-awareness, and their happiness for cheap happiness and comfort. Makes you wonder if the US was next, you know?”

Erskine was taken aback by his answer. It was much deeper than most of commanding officers gave if they even read the book.

Though that last sentence was interesting.

“What do you mean next?”

“Isn’t that what happened in Germany?”

Erskine sighed, “Yes and no. Most people here think Hitler came out of nowhere, but he didn’t. Not everyone in Germany was for WWI. There was a 100,000 person march in Berlin, but it didn’t matter since the Social Democratic Party failed to rise to the occasion and went along with war effort. Many were scapegoated for Germany failure, Matthias Erzberger for instance.”

“What about the Weimar Republic?”

Once again, Erskine was taken aback by Steve’s knowledge, “Weimar Germany was a great place to be creative, curious, and make new discoveries. I met my wife, Greta, in Berlin during that time. I made a lot of friends, friends I had to leave behind.”

Erskine frowned as his face darkened,”The terrible thing, my friend, was not that Hitler was dangerous, it was that either people didn’t take him as the threat he was or they wanted to use him for their own ends. The cops and judges sympathized with the Nazi Party to get one over the Socialists and Communists. Industrialists wanted to make money off of the Nazis getting into power. Even the German and International newspapers didn’t cover him with the urgency required.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Ja, and it almost happened here, didn’t it?”

Steve nodded in reference to the America First movement and the German American Bund. He still remembers getting the crap beaten out of him by the Silver Shirts when he spoke out against them a few years ago.

“So why did you choose me?”

“I suppose that is the best question.” Erskine admitted while glancing at Steve’s bookshelf, “What do you think of the Odyssey?”

Steve shrugged, “The adventures were fun, but they were just fantasy.”

“They may not be, Mein Freund. How old do you think I am?”

“Uh, mid sixties?”

Erskine laughed, “You’re too kind. I will be 94 this September,” he smiled noting Steve’s shock, “Things are not always as they seem. I come from a long line of ‘healers’ dating back to before Rome. One of them was able to ‘make a man more’. They inspired me to go into this profession.”

“Making super soldiers?”

“Medicine and bio-chemical engineering.”

“Oh”

“Did you know that you will not be first to undergo this?”

“Who was?”

“His name was Konrad Jager. He was a lot like you: small, frail, but had a great deal of courage and compassion. He was willing to fight Nazis in the streets knowing he’d lose. One day in 1930, his parents begged me to save him as the doctors had given up all hope.

I was woking on a serum that would make the body impervious to all diseases rather than wait for the next outbreak to occur. I thought it would propel the medical field.

The trial worked and he was healed. He became much taller and broader in size as a result.”

Erskine pulled out a picture of himself next to a tall, well-built young man.

“That’s Konrad isn’t it?”

“Yes. I was able to help eight more people through the earlier version of the serum. All but one turned out well.”

“What happened to the one?”

“Ah yes, Eren Kant. He was a shy young man before the serum, but then became more like Hodge: a philander, arrogant, and bit of a bully with a temper. He ‘grew too big for his britches’ as one would say and was arrested by the Munich police. He let his arrogance blind him and he escaped in a way that intrigued Der Fuhrer and was taken to Berlin soon after. By this time, rumors had spread of my work and the Nazis were anxious to be the ‘best of the Aryans’. They were able to get my whereabouts from Eren and sent Schmitt to fetch me, but I was already on my way to Switzerland when he reached my home.”

“How did he get you?”

Erskine slightly jerked his head to the side and back, “A year prior to my attempted escape, I met a man in Geneva who warned of the dangers that lied in Berlin. He gave me his card if I needed to escape. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have waited so long before I made the phone call. I was tipped off by an old colleague of Eren entering Nazi custody.

Everything was set. My family and I were to enter Switzerland by crossing Lake Constance. We made it to Meerburg and the lake was in sight when Schmitt and his agents cut us off.

Schmitt believed that there was a power left behind by the gods. He believed himself to be a leader of a new race of men. He wanted me to ‘perfect the serum’, make him stronger than Eren. He had my children, Klaus and Marlene, taken to the outskirts of town as insurance implying that they would be sent to Dachau if I should fail.

I stalled for as long as I could hoping Schmitt would forget about me, but it was not meant to be. A few years after I was taken hostage, Schmitt stormed into my lab and pointed a gun to Greta demanding I give him the serum.”

“Did it make him stronger than Eren?”

“It did, but it had...side effects. The serum was not ready. Schmitt’s skin turned red and his face became so disfigured that Hitler called him the Red Skull. He killed Greta with his bare hands,” Erskine wiped away a few tears, “and ordered Marlene and Klaus to be sent to Dachau while I was banished to the dungeons.

Fortunately, Agent Carter and the SOE were able to save Marlene and myself. Though Klaus sacrificed himself when the agents could only save one of them.”

“Your son is a hero.”

“I only wish I could’ve told him that myself. But, back to your original question. I chose you because, like Konrad, you are a weak man. You see, the serum amplifies everything; good becomes great and awe-inspiring, bad becomes worse and a nightmare. Men who are strong their entire lives often do not value strength and abuses it. However, a weak man who is compassionate and brave will use it to help others. You were chosen because you had the aforementioned virtues and because you use your mind.

The world does not need perfect soldiers, look where that has gotten us. No, what we need right now are good men.”

Erskine poured out two shots and gave a glass to Steve.

Steve raised his glass, “To the little guys.”

The liquor was just about to touch his lips when Erskine snatched the glass from him, “What are you doing? You have an operation tomorrow. No fluids.”

Steve chuckled as Erskine bid him farewell and good luck tomorrow.

  Ife found Steve in the Common Room hunched over a chair with a letter in his hands. Emotional echoes of gloom came off in waves as she approached him.

“Whatcha looking at, Steve?”

When Steve didn’t respond, she gently placed a hand on his shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

Steve finally turned to Ife, “I received an invite to a funeral. It’s for Marlene Philomena Erskine, Dr. Abraham Erskine’s daughter.”

Ife nodded in understanding; he feels that he failed Marlene by not protecting Dr. Abraham Erskine.

But in fact, he didn’t fail her.

She lived quite the life for a human.

Not long after her father’s assassination, Marlene became a badass mechanical engineer and physicist. Her designs and schematics for transportation vehicles and energy storage/distribution gave the colonizer nations a fighting chance during the Wars Against Colonialism.

Though part of it was because the UA was a little cocky at that point. Marlene sure lit a fire under their ass! Ife can still hear her Aunt Eziamaka pouting at the news of one of UA bases nearly falling into their control.

Marlene’s assistance with the war effort didn’t last long as her gratitude towards the people who saved both her and her father wasn’t enough to overlook the Military’s treatment of some her colleagues.

Her life from there was pretty standard. She became a professor at MIT, got married and had a few kids.

BNA took her off the ‘humans of special interest’ list in 1971.

Thinking back on it, Marlene may have had a better life by her father not making it past WWII.

Though Ife thought it would be wise not to mention this to Steve.

“When is the funeral?”

Steve didn’t raise his head, “It’s in a week.”

“In that case, might I accompany you?”

“Yes...and thank you.”

“No Problem! See you later.” Ife wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug and went on her way leaving Steve slightly bewildered.

  Steve didn’t know what to make of Ifekerenma.

She was always asked the team how they were feeling at what seemed to be the right moment. Shoot, she even talked to custodial staff that few of ever acknowledge. Compassionate to nearly everyone, especially the child hostages during the last mission.

She’s nerdy to the point of Sam jokingly calling her a weeb (anime lover?) when she walked around in an oversized Cowboy Bebop t-shirt once. Wanda mentioned a ‘digital friend’ in her room and caught her mentioning how slow Stark’s tech was much to the amusement of team at Tony’s expense.

Steve’s certain Nat sent Clint a video of the whole thing.

Also, she was what Sam called a ‘Supreme Chef’. He contently patted his midsection remembering the feast she prepared for the team last night. Her cooking would’ve put some of Stark’s gourmet chefs to shame. She asked the team what they liked and she ended up having to create a dinner rotation. Steve was especially touched when she went to an antique bookstore for a recipe that was close to what his mother would’ve made for him.

Furthermore, she would leave out little homemade treats/ snacks at night. Pietro and Sam would sneak some when they thought no one was looking. She even giggled when he accidentally let out a huge belch after an amazing dinner a couple nights ago saying it’s a sign of thanks on her home planet, Avlenia.

Ife always called him Steve; not ‘Captain’ or ‘Cap’ or even ‘Good ol’Century Virgin’ (damn it, Tony!). She never made light of him ‘taking an ice nap’ or asking him about the 1940s in a demeaning way like some reporters and ‘little upstarts on social media’. Somehow, Ife found out about his love of drawing and got him art supplies with a list of recommended artists

She made him feel more like a person and not a symbol or a far off figure who’s emotionless.

Steve felt warm whenever he was around her in a way not unlike Bucky or Peggy though much more like Bucky. She seemed to sense that he was desperate to truly be seen in way that only Sam and sometimes Nat has.

It also didn’t hurt that she was a total knockout. He had the, ahem, pleasure of seeing her out of her uniform and training outfits a few times. She usually wore clothes that were more on the modest side...except for that one time when she wore a Sailor Moon crop top and high-waisted shorts as a dare from Nat. Half of the compound was staring and Steve spent most of the day in his quarters nursing a hard on he was so aroused.

And yet, Ife was one of the toughest women he knew; even Nat was a little scared of her (at least, he thinks). She might be the strongest person physically and she doesn’t take shit from people who badmouth her or the team; Agent Roussel learned that the hard way.

All in all, Ife was...something else, someone he wanted to get close to.

  The day of Marlene’s funeral started out well enough.

Ife spent the early morning making Sam’s request of cinnamon rolls, sausage, omelettes, waffles, and hash browns since he won the raffle of Vision’s turn as he doesn’t eat.

She was handing out everyone’s first servings (didn’t care what happened afterwards) when she felt Steve’s emotional echoes of depression, melancholy, and despair noting how his eyebrows furrowed and how tense his body language was.

She just hoped she could get to him.

  Steve was walking to garage hoping his outfit wasn’t too much.

Nat somehow convinced him into wearing a Highbridge Black Custom Suit with an Eastley Dobbey Blue Shirt, a Black Solid Tie, a Navy Blue Pocket Square, and Ink Black Dress Shoes.

He ‘upped the swoon dial’ as Nat put it. Could’ve sworn he heard Sam snickering.

Steve reached the entrance hoping not to keep Ife waiting when he heard clicking of heels behind him.

He turned around to find Ife looking almost unearthly.

She was wearing a black Ankara (?) dress with a cape that was black on the outside and golden on the inside with various blue, silver, and khaki rectangle clusters. Her hair was mostly contained in a wrap with a few strands framing her lovely face. Her full, plump lips were coated in a Light Plum (?) Matte Lipstick and she wore minimal gold eye shadow.

Her outfit did a splendid job of hinting at her voluptuous curves without needlessly flaunting them like the women who throw themselves at him at press tours.

Ife smiled at him and asked which car were they taking.

Steve motioned to one of the Black SUVs and the two of them strapped in for the three hour car ride.

  Ife sighed and gazed out the window at the scenery. Neither one of them had said anything in the past twenty minutes. Steve wasn’t a fan of most of the music that’s on the radio despite Sam’s best efforts. Ife had to break out her puppy dog eyes to get him to let them listen to some instrumental music from her favorite movies.

It seemed that they weren’t going to say anything until Steve cleared his throat.

Ife, not wanting to suffer in silence, decided break it, “How did you know Marlene?”

Steve raided his eyebrows for a split second, “I didn’t. I just feel like I should pay my respects, you know? I mean, I should attend the daughter of the man I failed’s funeral.”

The last sentence struck a chord with Ife. Emotional echoes of despair hit her like a tsunami.

Tentatively, Ife continued, “How did you fail Erskine?”

“I-I don’t think I’ve fulfilled my promise to him. The country has changed so much since I was on ice. It’s funny; I thought that Brave New World would only have a one of two aspects come to life, but I didn’t see nearly the whole book being right.”

Ife didn’t argue with the last two points. The US was nothing but a never-ending commercial sometimes. People were too busy being ‘happy’ or trying to get the newest thrill to realize that they were living in a sham of a republic.

Though she was concerned about the first sentence.

“What was the promise you made to Erskine? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Steve turned slightly, “To be true to who I am; a good man, not a perfect soldier. To be more like Konrad.”

Ife nodded musing on his answer. Erskine would want everyone he helped to be a good person considering the dangers of such power.

Though she wondered if she knew Dr Abraham’s full history.

Abraham Erskine came from a long line of Homo Magis who specialized in Alchemy . He turned to science when it was clear that his magical powers would never manifest (being only 1/16 Homo Magi). Erskine started working on what would become the Super Soldier Serum in 1920 after the witnessing the horrors of WWI firsthand as a medic.

He made a breakthrough in 1927 when he found what looked to be an old power cell in the attic of his childhood home. Turns out it was a modified Atlantean battery dating back to the 1600s, but whatever.

Konrad Jager was the first of nine volunteers; most of whom went on to fight in the Spanish Civil War with the International Brigades and be part of the German Resistance’s Special Forces during WWII.

Needless to say, they were recruited into BNA’s European Division.

Only Eren Kant was deemed a failure in the end.

Ife shook her head at the info in Erskine’s folder.

Eren was pompous dumbass who broke himself out jail by bending/breaking the bars of his cell after getting arrested for being a player and bully by the Munich Police in August of 1935. His show of superhuman strength got Erskine’s work onto the Hitler’s radar. BNA had to send a cleaner to ‘handle’ Eren before he could get everyone in even more trouble.

She wondered if Konrad and the others would make an appearance.

“What do mean by not staying true to yourself?”

Steve sighed, “It seemed a lot easier to do so in my time.”

Ife wanted to go further, but she couldn’t. Steve was punishing himself up for something he couldn't control and it was tragic.

She hoped that she could actually help him, not for the mission, but for himself.

  They arrived at the venue twenty minutes early. Steve was trying (failing) to fix his tie while Ife was looking as glamorous and poised as can be.

Sensing Steve’s unease, she gave his hand a comforting squeeze, “You’ll do fine,” she whispered as she fixed his tie while not trying inhale his delicious natural scent like a creep (again).

“Let’s go inside.”

  Everyone seemed to stop what they were doing when they entered the venue. Though Ife had to hand it to the guests; no one asked Steve for an autograph or a selfie. She noted several BNA officials and a couple of Earth-based Non-Human big wigs in attendance.

Guess Marlene was popular.

“Ife!” Azeneth shouted as she strode over to from a corner and enveloped her in a hug.

“Azeneth, how are you? I didn’t think you would be back from Mexico City so soon.”

“Well, the mission was short and they wanted me in New York to accompany Eliza here. Now, who is this fine gentleman, Ife?” Azeneth queried while Steve started shifting uncomfortably.

“This is Steve Rogers, one of my new teammates and Ca-”

“Captain America. I know, Ife. I was jesting.”

Ife sighed dramatically while rolling her eyes, “Steve, this is Azeneth. She’s one of my best Earth-based friends.”

“Kickass friend.” Azeneth corrected, “How are you liking Ife? She’s not too much trouble.”

“Stop it, ‘Aze!” Ife playfully hit Azeneth’s shoulder, “Feel free to ignore her, Steve.”

“Hmm, no. I don’t think I will, especially after the stunt you pulled on the first day at the compound.”

Azeneth burst out laughing at Ife’s shocked expression and Steve’s sly grin. She probably would’ve kept goin if not for Eliza cutting into their conversation.

“Excuse us, Mr. Rogers. I’ll have to speak with Ife for a moment. My name’s Eliza Maza, by the way.”

  Once they were out of Steve’s line of sight (Azeneth was keeping him busy), Eliza activated a noise canceller.

“So did anyone die in the attack on the Magic Council?” Ife asked as she made sure Steve wasn’t looking at them.

“No one was harmed, but several books are missing from the library.”

“Shit! Okay. Well, would Dr. Strange be available to assist Wanda with her training? Wong and Nazaret are at the Sanctum and he said that he knew of some spells that could help.”

“I’ll look into it. I should have an answer in a week”

“Okay.”

“Ife, please give me a call when you get back to the compound.”

Ife eyed Konrad Jager, Gregor Eisenberg, Sonje Decker, and Lukas Denhart making their way to Steve. She hoped they weren’t going to drop an info bomb on him today.

“I will.”

  The service was short and sweet as Marlene didn’t want everyone to be bored to tears on her behalf. The crowd got a laugh out that joke.

Afterwards, Marlene granddaughter, Zahara, requested if Steve could stay for a bit. She gave him a beautifully wrapped package.

“My grandmother wanted you to have this. She saw you fighting in the Battle of New York and knew you would know what to do with it.”

“It would be an honor, Miss.”

  Ife thought about her earlier conversation with Steve on the say back. She realized what’s happened to Steve was heartbreaking.

Here was a man who gave up everything for a country that only wants him as a cudgel for their heinous deeds. Someone who, if he hadn’t fallen into the ice, would’ve probably been ruined by the same country he swore to protect. They would’ve labeled him as a communist and destroyed his good name for not immediately getting on board with the next war.

To be honest, Ife didn’t think much of Steve before joining the team. She thought he was just the banner boy for colonizers to feel good; he was the reminder of that brief moment when the US was totally the bad guys (totally being the operative word).

But now?

She saw the toll the helmet and shield had on him. Ife doubted he knew that he was going to be alive for awhile judging how neither Konrad or the others aged a day since they received Serum 1.0 and Steve supposedly got one that was at least 3x as powerful.

She wanted to comfort him somehow, but she was lost on what to do.

When she got back to the compound, she gave Steve a hug and went straight to her quarters to call Eliza.

“Eliza. I can’t do this by myself, and if we’re going to pull this off, I’m going to need some serious backup because the Avengers need some serious help.”

  Fury was going through some mission reports when he heard a knock on his door.

“Come in.”

Oddly enough, Ife was the one to enter the room and not Maria Hill.

“Good Evening, Fury. I have someone who would like speak with you.”

“Well, give me a name and contact info and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Actually,” Ife reached in her pocket for a disc, “I can do you one better.”

Ife tossed the disc into the air and a moon-door portal formed from it. Out came Eliza, Azeneth, and Angela in her gargoyle form.

Eliza gave Ife a quick nod and turned to Fury, “Good Evening, Nicolas Fury. My name is Eliza Maza and we’re from the Bureau of Non-Human Affairs or BNA. I would advice that you lower your weapon. It won’t do you a lick of good,” Fury lowered his gun,” Good. Put Maria Rambeau on speaker, we need to talk.”

  -Somewhere in France-

 Maeve was enjoying her brunch while watching the footage of Eliza officially making contact with new SHIELD and SWORD.

“Well, it looks like it’s time to ‘get the band back together’ as the kids would say.” She chirped to the woman across the table.

“That expression pretty much died in the 90s. No ‘kid’ uses that phrase anymore.” Koronis deadpanned.

Maeve scoffed, “Anyone born after 1800 is a ‘child’ to me. This is what I get for trying not to sound like ‘an old hag’ as you put it.”

“Well, is everything on track?”

Koronis, or Carol, closed her eyes for few seconds, “I see nothing standing in our organization’s way. However, we should have the meeting sooner rather than later.”

“Duly noted. Anything else?”

“The new variable, Ifekerenma, will be more useful to our plans than I originally anticipated.”

“Oh, I do love surprises! I mean, I know how it will end, but I still like to be at least a little surprised. I knew it was a good idea to let Klaue be discovered by Ultron in Istanbul!”

Another woman walked up to the pair,”You wanted to see me, Mistress?”

“Yes. Svetlana, call the others. It’s time to put our plan into high gear. Hell’s Moon is upon us.”

  Steve was having a shitty birthday.

The press was pestering him about the presidential election. Several outlets have called him a sellout and a coward for not endorsing anyone.

He was figuring out the best way to take a shower and hit the hay in less than 30 minutes when he found a beautifully written note taped to his door.

It said to come to Ife room wearing his best dancing clothes.

Ten minutes later, Steve knocked on her door and it instantly opened to reveal a modest dancing hall not unlike the ones he went to with Bucky before the war.

He was so lost in thoughts admiring the place that he failed to notice Ife hovering a few feet from him.

“Happy Birthday, Steve! How do you like it?”

Steve turned to see Ife in a knee-length golden yellow African Wax Print Ankara dress with cold shoulders, ruffled sleeves, and a v-neckline. He didn’t miss the modest view of her cleavage or how her legs looked oh, so smooth in the dress.

Ife, for her part, was super nervous about this. Nat said that people went to dance halls all the time in the late 1930s and 1940s and it took her five days to get the architecture, the music, and the lighting just right.

She hoped that Steve wouldn’t be angry with her.

Steve looked incredibly handsome in his simple dress shirt and slacks. His powerful shoulders, thick biceps, trim waist, and beefy thighs were accentuated by the lighting which made him look like he was glowing.

Ife would’ve drooled if she knew that he didn’t like it when most women would throw themselves at him.

“It’s amazing. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry about the dress. I couldn-”

Steve raised a hand to stop her from going off on a tangent,”You look beautiful.”

Ife felt a flurry of warmth in her core at the compliment.

“So, what would like to do?”

Before Steve could answer, Duke Ellington’s Don’t Mean a Thing starting playing.

Steve stretched out his hand, “Would you like to dance?”

Ife took his had and they glided onto the dance floor.

“Where did you learn to dance?”

“Bucky’s mom made us learn when Bucky started getting attention from the girls at school. She thought it best that we knew how to treat them to a good time.”

“I see,” Ife giggled, “Then she was wise to make take the lessons. Though I’m more familiar with the jitterbug.”

Steve chuckled as they resumed swinging. He hummed a bit as they danced to Ella Fitzgerald, Caro Emerald, Jo Stafford, Billie Holiday, and Gene Krupa.

Ife was impressed with Steve’s dancing skills. What were those women thinking passing him up like that?!

After a couple more rounds of dancing, the music shifted to something more modern but not (it was Howl’s Moving Castle’s Main Theme) , the colors on the walls and ceiling brightened, and several chandeliers formed on the ceiling.

Steve gave Ife a slightly confused look and asked her if she would like to try a waltz this time.

The song lasted a little more than five minutes. Steve was somehow able to lead their movements in sync with the song.

Ife felt her body was aflame with gentle yet commanding touches Steve was giving her. He even lifted her a few times making her feel as though she was flying with how gently he held her.

They were absorbed in their own world they either failed to notice or ignored Nat and Wanda entering Ife room to see if they could have another spa day. Nat even got a few pictures of the two dancing.

Steve gave Ife one last life during the climax and pulled her in when the music came to a close. They were about to come in for a kiss when Ife pressed her lips together and back away.

“We should probably retire for evening. Goodnight, Steve.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped in defeat, but left Ife’s room with a simple goodnight with Nat and Wanda in tow.

Ife frowned. She knew Steve wasn’t in the best place for a relationship and her conscience wouldn’t let her take advantage of that.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x ofc #stucky #stucky x ofc #mcu imagine #avengers imagine #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers imagine #mcu smut #mcu fanfiction #black fanfiction #black fantasy #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #marvel au #a warrior's heart #mcu #alternate history #captain america #captain america angst #captain america fluff #steve x black!reader #steve x ofc

[freigeistundanderes]

Bucky Barnes Valentine exchange Story

Hey, now we can finally say, which author was out secret Santa. I got @fandomsandxfiles-writes​ and she wanted to have a 40`s Bucky - enemies to lovers story. So I hope I somehow hit the challenged and you like it :) I say sorry in advance, since this is my second English written story ever.  Have fun while reading it!  Pairings: 40´s Bucky x Reader 

Word count: 26.368

World War II dominated daily life. Many young men already went there to fight at the front lines, and the other few were still at home, waiting for the order to go. School isn't what it was before. Many boys didn't even finish school and went directly to the base training as soldiers. And soon, the classrooms were empty and only filled with girls. You can imagine how sad the Prom looked like, a room just filled with old teachers and girls with slow music in the background and nobody to dance with. Steve went with you to the Prom just because he failed every medical and physical exam to join the Army.

Bucky was still around, somehow, but he spent most of his time with the base training, and when he wasn't training with the Army, he did for himself. He wanted to be a good soldier, and he tried to protect his country. Basically, a good character trait if it wasn't so stupid at the same time. When he got better in his training, they will send him away sooner and sooner. You didn't care as much, but Steve did. Even tho they both have been friends for a long, long time, they were boys at the end of the day. That means, when one got better in material things, the other got minor complexes. And to help Steve get his wish granted, you started to fill out the Army's application form for him. It was the 4th time you two tried, and of course, he didn't get accepted. The thing was, even when the application form was perfect, it was still Steve. Little, lanky, wimpy Steve, and nobody would take him. You promised to help him, but to be honest? There wasn't a big chance that he would be accepted in the Army, and honestly, you didn't want him to go there. He would be dead in seconds since he could not hold a rifle long enough to actually shoot someone.

Today Steve tried to get into the Army again. You filled out the application and waited outside of the building. You got yourself a bench near the entrance, so when Steve walked outside, he could see you. While you waited for Steve to return with a rejection, you pulled out a letter yourself. You got him a week ago. You tell yourself you didn't have time to open it, but the truth is, you were too scared to open it. One of these official letters from the Army was with the lovely white envelope and the American flag. Your Family name in big black letters on the front and an official stamp over the upper right corner. You carried this thing with you for a week, and it looked like that—bends, wrinkles, and folds all over it. Actually, you know what was in that thing. You know exactly what the letters on the paper inside the envelope. It would probably start like My sincere condolences to tell you… It would sound like he was a good fighter, a good soldier in the middle part. He saved many lives throughout his days in service… and the end would be finished with an excellent old: I am sorry about your loss. Usually, you got a letter from her Father, every week, when he was away in War. For one week, however, you got nothing. Instead of an informal letter from her father, you got this official thing from the Army. You didn't have to be a genius to put together the facts. Your father was dead, fallen in service to protect this country against Nazi's. That was what this letter was about. So no, she didn't have to open the letter to know what was inside of it. Your father died, and now she was alone in this world. She didn't have a mother anymore or siblings.

"An official letter from the Army? Why you got that?" Steve was back and looked over your head down to the letter you held in your hands. "My father," you fold the letter and put it in your pocket again before you looked at Steve. He understands your glace and shook his head and showed you the rejection paper. "You know, when they catch you, you will be in trouble?" "I know, but I think they just don't care" he also put the paperback in his pocket and looked around for a few seconds to took a deep breath. "So what are you planning to do?" you asked him, but he just shrugged his shoulders. "For today? I will meet you later with Bucky. He invited me for another double date" "He will never give up, right?" "Probably not, no. He don’t want me to feel excluded" "Excluded from what? Girls?" "Joie de vivre, I guess" "Does he noticed that he doesn't make it better with the double dates?" "I don't think so" Steve smiled and shook his head. "He isn't the smartest" "I know," you smiled too and stood up from the bench. You looked around a while. Trying to figure out what you want to do next when you saw a poster. It said it would be some kind of new-age science exhibition. "What are you gonna do? For the rest of the day?" "I am going there" you nodded your head in the direction of the poster. "Sounds….. interesting" Steve wasn't thrilled about it. He wasn't too much into technology. "Will you tell me one day what was in that letter?" he started another attempt to talk about the thing you had in your pocket. "It's from the Army, and it's about my Father. I didn't open it now" you shrugged your shoulders and took a step back. "Anyway. See you soon, pal" "Yes. See you soon!"

So you were about to go home, and if you liked it or not, you had to read that letter and see what will happen next. Without your Father, you didn't have an income and you didn't decide what you wanted to do just now. Your Father wanted you to start a Study at a University and creating a great career as a professor somewhere and that the War would be over just then. Was it what you wanted? You weren't certain. Sure, being a Professor at some university would guarantee you significant money and a peaceful future. But to be honest, that wasn't you. Yes, you liked reading but being locked up in an office for the rest of your days wasn't quite your style. And finding a well-paid job as a woman was hard and nearly impossible. Maybe you should try to join the Army too? Just because your Father seemed to be so happy in the Army and you somehow had the feeling that it would be exactly right for you. But on the other hand, you couldn't leave Steve behind. He would never be accepted in the Army. It was bad enough for him that Bucky was taken, but if you apply for it and git accepted too, that would mentally destroy him. He felt useless most of his life, even tho he wasn't. Anyway…. You should start thinking about your future in more detail, now your Father died.

When you arrived home, you noticed that the front door of your house was open. You never leave that door open, so someone must have entered your house. Slowly you pushed the door further open, so you could sneak into the front door hallway. You couldn't hear any noises and the lights were out too. If intruders had entered your house, you would have seen chaos along the way or at least some lights on, but nothing. Slowly, light-footed like a cat, you go further into your house. It was a small house, with just one level, so it was pretty lucid. You nearly reached the end of the front door hallway when you heard a few heavy steps behind you and a deep voice talking to you. "You would be dead by now. If I was a burglar," the voice was Smokey, dark, and had that sarcastic tone in it. Very similar to your father's one, and as you turned around, you saw the big man. He was a little bit heavier build, owned to his age, and probably too many steaks with beer. "Uncle Chester," you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. Visits like this were usual for him. He liked being the mysterious part of the family, or something like that. "What do you want here" "Express my condolences to you. Because of your father" "He was your brother" "You can be sure, I know that. But…. Our relationship wasn't the best in the end. I wanted to check in if you are okay?" "Do I look like a whiny, crying little girl to you?" "No. That's why I am worried about you. Shouldn't you…. Cry?" "He was a Captain. He knows how he would die, and I knew it too. We have War, many people will die" "You are soooo mature, little girl" "Don't call me that" "So…. What are you planning to do next? Without your fathers' money, you need a job! Something in mind?" "no. Not yet" "good! I have a job for you!" he stepped towards you and pulled out a letter from the inside, pocked his official army jackets, and handed it to you. "What kind of job? Nurse? Rubble woman?" "Don't be silly" he pulled his eyebrows together and step aside, and looked at the pictures on the walls. "President Roosevelt himself started a military unit called SSR – Strategic Scientific Reverse. The aim of that is to create a super-soldier army to win the War without losses anymore. That force contains the best minds in the free world-" "I can read," you interrupted his monologue for a second to fly over most of the lines in the letter.

What you couldn't see was that your Uncle slightly smiled. You were precisely like your Father and always a big mouth but down to earth somehow. But – not to mention – you were like your Uncle too. Ever a good slogan on your lips with a sarcastic undertone. When Uncle Chester was more often at home during your early childhood, you had great fun together. He and your Father were a dream team when it came down to raising you since your mother died at birth. That was the primary reason why your summarized the best and worst characteristics of your Father and your Uncle in one person BUT the beautiful physic you had from your mother. She was pretty like an angel, with that soft and lovely scented hair, the open and heartwarming smile, and these beautiful, engaging eyes.

When you were finished with reading, you needed to repeat a few sentences again. It sounded highly impossible and stupid for you, but on the other hand, you wanted to see the outcome. "Why you need me? I am not one of the best minds. I am average" "You are average, when it comes to science, yes. But you are instinctive, a good natural fighter, and have a great sense of strategy. At least, those were the words your Father used to describe you to be the last time I saw him. He was so proud of you, that you are not a whiny little woman, like everybody else. You are strong, and I need Strong soldiers. So…. What you say? Are you in?" – "Yes!" you didn't think about it. It was a clear answer to you. It was not because of what your Father told your Uncle; it was about that little inner voice, telling you, you should go. Like uncle Chester said, you had good instincts, and you used them right now. "You do not want to rethink? Final answer?" "I do not rethink usually. I got my choices right the first time" he knit his eyebrows again and laughed a little bit. "You say that now. Sooner or later, there will be a moment when you have to rethink" – "When do we start?" "Hold your horses! I will contact you, but tonight I want you to meet your head scientists" "Why?" "Because we are looking for a suitable man for the Army, and you know this part of Brooklyn the best" "And how do I find this scientist?" "German looking, small guy, with glasses, head, and a beard. You will find him. Look at it, like it would be your first mission" he grinned at you and was about to leave the house.

In the evening, you were dressed up and ready to go. You dressed a bit more fancy but not too much. It was a plain, dark blue dress in knee-length. Paired with simple black shoes and a small black bag for your porte-monnaie. Nothing spectacular but chic.

It took you around 10 minutes to run into Steve and the annoying attachment when you arrived there. Steve looked bored as hell, too, so he looked around and find you immediately. He waved in your direction, and behind him, the personified idiot – James Buchanan Barnes, friends call him Bucky, but you stayed with James. "Hey, Steve" "Hey!" he smiled at you and stepped aside to introduce the other people. "Cassy and Odette, and you already know Bucky" "Hallo, James" "It's Bucky. Please" "You said, your friends call you Bucky. I am not your friend, so it is appropriate to call you by your Birthname: James" "You are refreshingly nice as usual, Claw" "Don't call me that" – "Make me" he grinned cocky looked her directly in the eyes. His glace got replied with pure and clean aversion with a sour, sarcastic undertone. Claw was the Nickname you got from Steve and Bucky, based on your caustic and harsh kind, sometimes "You really want that?" "Don't get me wrong, little Princess. I believe you when you say you can defend yourself, but I think you need a little more for me than just a good positioned punch" "Bucky!" Steve wanted to prevent his best friend from protentional long term effects of that claim. "James – oh James – you should never underestimate a well-positioned punch" now, she grinned back and looked down for a second to make him understand what she meant. It took him a few seconds until he pulled his eyebrows together and took a step back. "You wouldn't!!" "Wanna bet?" "HEY!" Steve went between the two brawlers. "Never mind. We should go" "Woah, wait-" now it was Bucky who intervene and looked confused at Steve. "You invited her?" "No. We run just into each other" "Well, I would say, 3 Girls, is one girl too much, Buddy" "I guess it will be okay for the rest of the evening. You take these two Ladies, and I take her" "But – Steve-" "We are good with that!" one of the two girls finished the conversation, and then the situation was completed. Steve didn't want this in the first place because he knew the girls Bucky brought are just interested in him. Why not, by the way? He was tall, good looking, and charming - the perfect match for most of the girls. And he had this slightly sinister boy aura around him, even when he was a good guy through and through. At least that was what Steve claims every time you two talked.

The expo was enjoyable, overall, but actually, nothing of that really seeks your attention. Many people around here and you were about to find the German one. The funny thing is, though, that most Germans looked like Americans, so it was nearly impossible to find the right man. When you looked around, a recruitment center catches your eye, and you thought about what your Uncle told you. This German Scientist was about to find new Soldiers for the project. So for him being in that center would make the most sense. "Hey Steve," you put a hand on his shoulder to catch his attention. "I have to go. Get something done" "already?" "You seem to be in delightful company, here" "Funny. Really funny" "Okay, bye, my friend" you see him off before you went to the recruitment center.

When you entered the center, it was full of people. It was different from the other centers you went to before with Steve. In this one, you had a nice, colorful and colossal propaganda part right before the testing area, and it was filled with people. A little bit lost, you looked around and tried to find a man, fitting on the description your Uncle gave you. So many people with a beard and glasses, which one would be the German? You looked around for a few more minutes when a smaller man approached you. "Good evening, Miss. Did you get lost?" he had to be in the age between 40 and 60, had a grayish beard and small round glasses. The way he speaks English suggested to you that this isn't his mother tongue. "No, actually I am looking for someone" "So? Maybe I can help? Who do you looking for?" "An educated man – a scientist! A little bit older with a beard and glasses and German heritage" he smiled slightly and nodded slowly. "That would be me. My name is Dr. Abraham Erskine" he reached out his hand to you, and you did the same. "You must be the niece of Colonel Philips?" "Indeed, yes. He sends me here to find you" "And he told me you would come. Let's go over there and have a little talk?" "I would like that, yes" the Doc led you away from the people into a calmer area of the center.

We entered the testing area for protentional soldiers. The Doctor looked behind one of the curtains to check if someone in there. After that, he thrust aside the whole thing to open it for you to enter.

“So you are Colonel Philips, niece? If I got that right?” “Indeed. His brother was my father” “Was?” “He died a week ago in Service” “I am sorry,” he apologized and looked a bit sad and uncomfortable to step into that huge blunder. “Thanks, but we are not here to talk about my dead father, right?” “Surely. Forgive me; I am a little bit old fashioned. Would you mind having a little talk with me first? I like to know the people I will work with” “Fine,” you shrugged your shoulders and looked for a sitting possibility. You decided to take a lounger and pointed at the chair in front of it, so the Doctor could sit too. “Ask whatever you want” “Whatever I want?” “If I do not want to answer, I will not answer. Feel free to ask anything” You wanted to get it over with. You simply didn’t saw the point of meeting the head scientist of the project since your uncle invites you because of your military talent, not your scientific knowledge. Last but not least, your uncle thought that a little change of air would be good for you. He knew you loved your father, and you are too tough to admit it. There will be a moment when you start to crumble, and the pain will rush over you, and he wanted to have you nearby when it happens. Nobody should be alone while mourning. “Why you entered the SSR?” “My uncle asked. I said yes. Here I am” “No other specific reason?” “No, why? Do I need one? This reason is as good as any other reason people have to serve in War. I think the reason doesn’t matter” “Why? Why does the reason doesn’t matter?” “There is never a good reason to start a war and sacrifice many young lives’. You should protect what you believe in, but it doesn’t have to be in a fight; that should be the last option. That is my opinion, but what do I know? I am just a little girl” he smiled slightly and shook his head softly. “Besides the fact who your uncle is, I can see you are not just a little girl” “How would you know?” “I can see it, your eyes” “My eyes…? I am not into that pathetic stuff” he laughed a bit and nodded. “I can tell you are feisty” “Only on Mondays,” “Today is Monday” “See,” he smiled again. “I like you. I like you a lot. You are refreshingly different, and I like young Ladies who can fight for their ideals” “How do you know I can fight?” “Your uncle told me a few things about you. You a good fighter and have good natural instincts” “Maybe” “Don’t be too modest –“ he stopped short to make a little break before he started talking again. “We already have someone similar to you. She is a Brittan Agent and feisty as well. I guess you two will get along just fine. Her Name is Agent Peggy Carter” “It will be a pleasure to meet her” “I can’t wait to see you two working together, but-“ he harrumphed a little bit and put on a serious face again. “I am here to look for new cadets; unfortunately, most of the young boys are already away. You can suggest someone?” “I don’t know many boys around here” “But you know some!?” “Depending on what are you looking for? The brainless muscle monkeys are already recruited” “’Brainless muscle monkeys’… actually, I am not looking for one of these! Your uncle does, but I want someone with a specific characteristic” “Specific Characteristics-“you were interrupted by a nurse who wanted to talk to the Doctor. She entered the room and reached him a file. You didn’t say everything in the file, but you recognized the photo in it. It was Steve’s. He wanted to try again to enter the Army, and it looks like he got caught with his multiple tries. “I am sorry, I have to do something-“he closed the file and stood up. “He has character” “This one?” he opened the file to read the Name again. “Steven Grant Rogers?” “I don’t know what you are looking for, but he has it. Give him a chance to prove it to you, and he will not disappoint you” the Doc looked at you with a stare glace until he nodded slowly. “would you vouch for him?” “Vouch for him?” “Would you trust him with that enough to confide him your life?” “Yes,” you answered strongly, and there was no doubt in your voice. “So, when a strong and independent girl like you would trust him, I should give him that try to prove me,” then he left the little room. Seemed like that you and Steve would enter the same Unit. One reason more to be expectantly about the next few weeks and the little change.

“I am honest, I am death” Steve came up to you and sat next to a dirty box. His equipment was just hanging down from his weak little body. He was in training for about half of a month, and you were sure there was not only one single small part, which didn’t hurt. After he got recruited into the SSR – like you – he immediately started his training to get a better physical change. But besides sore muscles, there wasn’t much of a difference. For your part, you trained with that Agent the Doctor mentioned. Peggy was good in shape and had a piece of excellent knowledge about self-defense and fighting styles. It was a great addition to your own style of fighting. You two trained a lot for the past few weeks and got quick on an equal level of physical strength. Since you were a new recruit – like Steve – you got simple tasks. Peggy trained the other Soldiers while you and your uncle were studying strategic files and everything possible about an organization called Hydra. You also got inaugurated in what the SSR was doing exactly. The Doctor was creating a Serum, and it was going down o deciding which new soldier should get it first. Your task was also to document every soldier’s progress to make it easier to choose. But honestly? You had a few talks with the Doctor itself, and he was pretty impressed with Steve, so you voted for him, and indeed, he was the one. But still, he had to get in a little bit better shape to have a greater chance of surviving the experiment.

Steve was breathing heavily, his head wholly laid back into his neck, as he sat down on the Box. He was initially coming up to you to get some encouraging words from you. And when he didn’t get these, a sarcastic commentary would do it too. He was happy to have a familiar and friendly face around when he joined the Army. He was really great full for you, not at least, because you were closer with Agent Carter and Steve had a thing for her. She was impressive! Intense and intimidating, and she was so confident. She didn’t need to be saved, and that what he appreciated the most on her. She was simply able to take of herself.

After he didn’t get any words from you, he opened one eye and looked up at you. You were standing here, head down and staring down at a letter you hold in your hands. You had a thing with staring down at letters. “Hey! What’s up?” “I god a letter from James” “Bucky? You got a letter from Bucky? Why?” “I don’t know” “An official one or a personal one?” “Personal” she turned the front side of the letter towards Steve, so he could see the bad handwriting. It was a personal letter, addressed at Claw. “he still calls you Claw?” “Guess so…. Why is he writing me a letter?” She looked more confused than ever since he knew her. “I don’t know! What did you do?” “Nothing…. I guess” Steve stood up from the Box and also started to look down on the closed envelope. “You don’t want to open it?” “Should I?” “Otherwise you will never find out what is in there-“ “ROGERS!” from far away, his drill sergeant was calling for him. Exhausted, he gave a loud groan and started running towards the other members of his Unit.

You just stood there and looked down on the envelope for a few moments, when you shook your head, turned around the letter and opened it. It was childish, not to open it and as you knows James, it will be a stupid prank or something like that. You should get over it and return to your tasks after that. Against your expectations, it wasn’t silly pranks or an inappropriate picture of something. It was an actual letter, handwritten in the worst handwriting you ever saw. The first line said: Hallo Claw, and after that, there were many other lines, and even the backside of the paper was written. On the piece, itself were little dirt stains. After a fast-flying over the lines without actually reading them, you turned around the form and saw the last line: See you soon, Bucky. This was more than just strange. It was entirely out of imagination! You sat down on the Box and started to read the letter, from beginning to end, every single word of it, slowly.

It took you a while to read through the whole letter. The handwriting was awful, and you had to guess every fifth word, and you tried to analyze it. To find the mistake in the word choices to uncover this letter as a prank, still. That James paid someone to wrote you a note to evoke the false belief in you, that he might not just hate you. You had plenty of reasons to be suspicious about it. You didn’t realize how long you sat there reading when a heavy breathing Steve returned to the spot where he left you. “I see you opened it ---- what did ---- he ---- wrote?” he pressed out the words between his intense breathing, trying not to collapse in front of you because of exhaustion. “Basically, he said, that he liked our conversation and that he hoped we had that earlier. We had more in common than I would know now, and that he didn’t know how much he would miss female intellectual interaction. And that he started to get more sarcastic and sharp-tongued because of me – Honestly? I didn’t see the meaning behind the letter” you wanted to hand it over to Steve, who just blocked that try. “He wrote the Letter to YOU. It’s yours now” “He probably didn’t write it anyway. One of his Unit buddy’s wrote it for him to confuse me. I strongly believe that!” “You think so? I know that handwriting; it’s Bucky’s!” “Then he tries to tease me from the front line? Great! Not even during the War, I am safe from him” you rolled your eyes, fold the letter back and put it into the envelope, and stood up. “We have things to do, Steve! Tomorrow is your big day” “I know. That why the Sergeant didn’t let me run the extra mile” “He seems to be nice” “Nice? Ever meet him?” “A couple of times” “I am giving up! I just want to take a shower!”

The next couple of weeks didn’t feel like a success in military history. It was more like monkey business. After Steve’s transformation, you thought he would be trained to be a severe soldier. Still, instead, he was turned into a breathing action figure. He had to do press tours, movies and sing stupid jingles. And from looking at the disappointment on Steve’s face, you know he felt the same. You decided to stay with Steve and distance yourself from the duties of the SSR for a while. You didn’t want to let him alone with all these mindless people, such as today. He was told to say some encouraging words to the soldiers at the front. They put up a stage for him, where he could stand on and talk. And they forced him to wear that bad, bright-colored stupid suit. And then he was standing there. Reading the pre-written words to the soldiers, which didn’t even want to listen. He was a super soldier and supposed to fight for his country, but instead, he was a trained monkey in a circus.

Not what he imaged and not what the soldiers wanted to see or hear. It was a disaster; it couldn’t get any worse. And if this wasn’t enough, Steve listened to the news that Hydra had captured the 107th, therefore also Bucky. He tried to convince your uncle to start a rescuing mission, but there was no chance he would allow that. Hydra had a reputation for capturing soldiers and using them for experiments. So if these guys aren’t dead yet, they might be soon. But would that stop Steve? It was about saving Bucky, and he would do it, without any doubt, and he wouldn’t think twice about it. So he and Peggy tried to convince Stark to help them. So it was up to you to take your uncle busy until these trees are gone on the mission.

“Where is Rogers?!!!” Your uncle slam opens the door into your room with a shattering noise. He wasn’t happy – actually, he was pretty angry. He knew something like that would happen, but he hoped that these three idiots would be more intelligent than trying to attack a Hydra base on their own. You got a little frightened and crumbled the paper in your hand a little bit. “I know that you know the answer, and I want you to tell me. NOW!” he entered your room and build himself up in front of your sitting person. You were resting on your bet and had all the letters from James in front of you. You somehow felt rereading them, since there was a possibility these were the last written word of him. In case of his death, you wanted to send them to his sister. “Strolling?” “Strolling? Are you taking me for a fool? I know he is not strolling! What are those?” he flies over the lines of a few letters and couldn’t see an author of these.

After all, you are still his niece, and after your father died, he is somehow – your chaperone now. “Nothing” you wanted to put them together to stuff them somewhere out of sight when he was faster and grabbed one of these. He read through the lines and raised one eyebrow. “Sergeant Barnes wrote you these? That fledgling? Never knew you would be interested in that kind of man” “It’s not like that” “it is not? These letters are pathetic and greasy love letters” “They are not” you shook your head and stood up from your bed. “These are just letters from a man who was bored at the front” “Bored at the front?” your uncle laughed at this. “You are not bored at the front because you are pretty busy not to die. He wasn’t bored, he took the little glimpse of free time he had to write you. That’s not nothing” “You interpreted it false. James Buchanan Barnes is a prankster, a childish little boy, and a womanizer. He would never write this with a serious background” you shrugged your shoulders. “He just wants me because I don’t want him. I actually couldn’t stand him” “Mhm,” he nodded and knit his eyebrows. “So why are you keeping these then? Quite a lot of letters and effort for a man who is just joking around” “You don’t know him” “Well if he is friends with Rogers, he can’t be too bad of a man” “He is an idiot” “All man are idiots! That’s in our genetic code” “Ahhhh that would explain a lot” “Stop that!” He pointed with his index finger at you with that stern look on his face. “Back to the essential! I know that you know where Rogers is. Tell me! Now!” “I don’t know” you shrugged your shoulders, and your uncle looked even angrier at you. He wanted to say something when he heard something from the outside, so you two decided to go outside.

As you went outside the door, you could see how a bigger group of soldiers is coming towards you. All ahead was Steve, and on his left side, you could recognize Bucky. Guess you didn’t need to send the letters to his sister after all.

“You know this idiot?” your uncle standing next to you when you were looking at Steve, bringing home the soldiers from the Hydra base. You were so proud of your little friend from Brooklyn. “Idiots. I know them both” “Both?” “The on his left side? That’s Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. The reason why he started this whole thing” “Barnes, huh? I assume he is his friend?” “Best Friend” you corrected your uncle and smiled slightly. Of course, Steve would do something stupid as running into a Hydra base just to save Bucky and man he didn’t know. It is Steve! He is doing these things, and that’s why he is Captain America.

When they entered the camp, Steve was about to talk to Peggy, and it was lovely. You noticed the little growing thing between them, and it was beautiful. Peggy wasn’t like all the girls Bucky had in mind for Steve. She was just right for him because they meet on the same level. She never looked down on him because of his small physical size. She respected his character and values in every shape he was in. And that’s why she deserved Steve. She liked him as a little boy, and she can have him as the soldier he is now. You were good with it, and they both liked each other. They just didn’t confess just now. While Steve talked to Peggy and a short cheers on Captain America, Bucky was stepping out of the line and walking towards you. What will happen now? What will he say or what will he do? Somehow, you had a strange feeling in your stomach. It felt like itching and tugging, as someone with a stomach bug would feel, shortly before they vomit. “Hey” he put on that crooked smile you already knew, Nothing surprising. Somehow, the little girl in you imaged his first words to be more pontifically or…. something like that. Good to know that some things will never change. “As I can see, you are not dead. Now I have to write an apology letter to your sister. We already informed her of your passing” “You are looking good too, Claw” “I was serious” “I know. Did you get my letters?” “Well…. Yeah…. What was the deeper purpose of these?” “Deeper purpose?” “Yes! Why would you write me letters? We didn’t like each other” “Sure about that?” “Well I assumed based on our shared past, James” “James? We are still at James?” “Isn’t that your name?” “Uhm…. Yea, it is” he looked down for a second before he raised his glace again and seemed a bit subdued. You knit your eyebrows in confusion. Did you say something wrong? What you said was the definite truth! You didn’t get the meaning of the letters, besides the fact that they were actually lovely and you two – indeed – didn’t like each other enough to receive these letters. Then you started to look down on his ripped and dirty clothes until you saw a big bloodstain near his stomach. “You-“ you reached out your hand for the stain, to feel if it still was wet. Surprisingly, the loose looking clothes are pretty narrow, so you could feel his muscles under it. “a doctor. You need a doctor! Medical…. Treatment!” “Some of the guys are worse than me” “Now” “Hey, Claw. I am fine. Don’t worry. Wait…. You wouldn’t worry anyway, right?” “That – That’s not fair! You should go and see a doctor” “I will” he stepped back and run past you. Why was he angry this time?

When the doctor was about to finish his treatment with Bucky when you slowly stepped into the room. He was sitting on a lounger without his top but about to put it back on. You could get a view of his upper body and how perfectly smooth it looked. Not a single scratch, not a scar, or anything else. The doc put his stuff together and left the room directly. Seemed like James was the last patient on his list for the day, and then there was silence. Big and uncomfortable silence. He was mad at you, but for what? For you being confused about friendly letters, which he had no reason for? It's not like that you two ever had a long and pleasant conversation before, so he had no right to be that angry with you! "I am confused" you took the word and looked strong at him. He listened to you, shook his head, and pulled on his shirt in one quick and smooth movement. "Why do I got these letters from you? We weren't that close before, so I have every right to be confused, and you never explained it! In none of these letters!" "You read them? All of them?" "Well…. Of course, I did!" "And you still call me James?" "Okay!" you raised your hands and blow entirely off. "Why is it so important to you how I call you? WHY?!" "it just is" "Okay, fine, I call you Bucky. Happy now?" "A bit" "Tell me why!" "Just means I am closer" "closer? Closer to what?" "Don't mind, Claw," he winks at you, and indeed his mood got better, and he isn't mad anymore? Jesus, this MAN is driving her CRAZY!

"Don't call me Claw" he smirked and stood up from the lounger, then he came close to you, very close. He stood directly in front of you, so close, you could feel his body heat on your own body. He lowered his head down to your ear and whispered something in it: "you will always be Claw. See you tonight" "Tonight?" "There is a pub down the street. Come for a drink" "You invite me for a drink?" "I do" "Is it poisoned?" you asked him, what make him laugh. "Not yet" "But later?" "You have to try" "What an enormous stupid idea to go for a drink which is protentional poisoned! You think I am stupid?" "No. Actually, I think you are quite intelligent. I can't force you to come for the drink, but I would love to see you. Please come" more than just confused, you got left behind buy Bucky. What was that? Honestly, what was that? What the hell was that?! James Buchanan Barnes, you ---- Jerk!

"If you want to hear my opinion. A boy will always be a boy. If he was like that before the War, he would not change much" Peggy turned a few times sideways before the mirror and smooth her red dress down. She put it on because she will go to the Pub where Steve and the other from the 107th are. She wanted to see Steve and want to have a little talk with him. You, on the other hand, didn't put anything fancy. Actually, you had your nightwear already. You didn't plan to go to the pub, even though Bucky would be happy about it. This situation was too confusing for you, and you decided to get more distance to the problem. You wanted to look at it more detailed and with a clear view. Bucky behaved strangely, and everything started with these letters, so you asked Peggy about it. You told her the whole History with Past and present, and she said that he probably is just playing around. Nobody goes from enemies to lovers in that short period, without spending time. It was only not possible. The first letter was friendly, but there weren't any signs that he would send her one. Letting the situation cooldown would be the best for her and that precisely what you will do. Let the case cool down! "You look good, Agent. He will love it" "who?" "You know who I meant" "Possible," you smiled, and Peggy smiled too until she went out of the door.

Meanwhile….

"You look nervous. Why are you nervous?" "I am not" Bucky grabbed his drink and took a sip, but when he heard the door opening, he immediately put down his glass, leaned back, and looked at the door. "Of course you are not nervous" Steve smiled and sat next to his friend at the bar. "It's not nervousness, Steve" "Then tell me what else it is?" he poked his friend, who didn't answer. He just shook his head with a decent smile and grabbed his glass again. He knows this kind of behavior from Bucky. It's about a girl, he is waiting for a certain girl to come in, and the clue was, Steve already knows which Girl Bucky had in mind. What stumbles him was the reason why he chooses her. Before the War, when they were in school together, he never showed special interest in her. It was quite the opposite; he was absolutely not interested in her. He avoided the contact and chat with her after that little accident with the dress. And she? Well, he made her feelings about Bucky more than clear: she hated him from the bottom of her soul. So maybe it was just a typical boy who wants what they can't have in a situation. That would at least the most logical answer to that whole surreal scenario. "Did she read them? The letters I send her?" "She did. Although she was skeptical. Until the 6th or 8th letter, she thought, a friend would write them for you, and you just send them to her to make fun of her" "did she really thought that? That it was a bad joke?" "Well, Bucky-" Steve laughed a bit and shook his head. "You can't deny that these letters came out of the blue! Before that, you never had a good talk without me preventing you two from killing each other. So getting these nice written letters was indeed a surprise, and she had a good reason to be suspicious" "Looking from that perspective…. What did I though? That was a stupid idea" Bucky pinch together his face until he took his drink and finished it in one sip. "Buck… what did you expect from her?" he thought about it for a second when he shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing" "But Bucky-" "Hey Steve, let's not talk about it anymore, okay? It was something stupid, and we put the veil of forgetting over it, okay? It never happened" "But it did happen, Bucky, and now you confused her. So what is the overall plan?" "There is no plan, man. It was just-" he hesitates a second and looked down into his empty glass. Yeah, what was it, Bucky? Was it just boredom why you wrote the letters? Was it desperation? Homesickness? Desire? And unsolved puzzle? The Only woman who doesn't thirst over him? The only one he couldn't conquer? Was it even a little spark of love? He didn't know; it was just a right and good feeling writing these letters to her. He was at the front; things are different there. A fallen friend from his Unit wrote letters to a girl he didn't even like, just because he wanted to. These were nice letters too. He didn't care if she read them or burn them; he just wanted to write someone, something nice. In addition to that, it has to be mentioned that this guy joined the army because he didn't have family left. So writing that girl was the only option he had, and he liked it. Bucky hadn't the same situation. He could write to his sister or Steve. It was not like he had nobody to write to, but writing to her just felt right. "Just nothing serious" he shrugged his shoulders and put on a solid smile. "Sure…" at that moment, it got silent in the room, and everyone's head was turning towards the door. So did Bucky and Steve looked in the same direction. It was Peggy in a stunning red dress, which fit her body perfectly. She was coming directly up to Steve and Bucky, but she just saw Steve. "Captain," "Agent Carter," "Stark has complied some equipment for you. You should come and try it" she looked over to Bucky for a second, who smiled nicely at her, but she just stared him down with that steel brown eyes. He got a little bit scared, but he liked the woman who can keep up with him. In the background, she heard how Steve's man are starting to sing again. "I see your top squad is preparing for duty?" – "You don't like music?" Bucky asked her question, but her eyes and attention were just on Steve, and he was invisible to her. "I do, actually. I might even – when this is all over – go dancing" – "Then what are we waiting for?" he tried another approach at the beautiful Britain agent, but she still ignores him completely. "For the right partner," she smiled slightly. "Tomorrow, 800 captains" then she turned away from the boys and walked out of the pub. "Yes, ma'am! I will be there" "I am invisible" Bucky shrugged his shoulders and looked at Steve with a satisfied smile, that his friend got the beautiful lady this time. "I-I am turning into you! This is a horrible dream" "Don't take it so hard-" Steve pad his shoulder and smiled too. "Maybe she's got a friend! Oh right, Claw is her friend!" "Haha – what?" "You heard it, Claw and Agent Carter are good friends since they met a couple of months ago. They trained together and work well as a team" "You mean that your hard-boiled, sexy, badass British nearly girlfriend is friends with Claw?" "Yeah," Steve nodded his head, not aware of what that meant for the boys. That was a disaster, like – ENORMOUS disaster! "Steve! Agent Carter and Claw are friends? Like… friends?" "Yes? Did something hit your head?" "This is bad! You can't have your best friend and your girl be best friends! They will form an alliance and have all the power to destroy us?" "us? Why us? You have problems with Claw, not me. And I survived this constellation the past few months pretty good, so I am not worried – oh wait! You are worried about your ass" "I am" Bucky nodded his head a few times fast. "Because your pretty but deadly Agent for sure has some tricks upon her sleeve and Claw? Oh, we both know she is full of surprises. I am dead. Officially" "You overdramatize it, Bucky. They are cool" "Yeah, with you, mister perfect blond hair" "Okay, you know what-"Steve raised his hand and ordered a few more drinks. "Let's have a good night! Cheers, my friend!"

While Steve and Peggy were with Stark to test out some new weapons for Steve, you took the chance to use the training room for yourself. It was an excellent opportunity for you to think about everything that happened the past two days. You spend your night rereading the letters to find a hint to solve this situation, but there wasn't. These were just lovely written letters from Bucky to you. Nothing more about it. Just words. Just nice words!

You punched the punching bag a few times pretty hard so that the chain with which it was attached to the ceiling rattles a few times loudly. So when it was just a nice word, written down on a dirty piece of paper, make your thought circle and skip all the time. It was a thug and war game in your head between, admitting that there could be a deeper meaning behind it and just brushing it off and don't think about it anymore. As much you want the one, the other was alarming. And there was this little voice in the back of your brain, saying that you initially hated Bucky. But why is something in you wanted to deny that you hate Bucky and want it to be something? Well, he was indeed a handsome man, and for sure, he could be nice. She has letters to prove that there was something good about him, but why did she initially hate him? It was clearly not just because he vomited on her dress one evening. No, she wasn't superficial like that.

While you lambasted the dummy in the training room, you didn't recognize how someone was entering It. He lends against one of the exercise equipment's, with arms crossed, that little smirk on his lips and looking at you. You noticed him in the corner of your eye and stopped your training. You were sweaty, and you were out of breath, but you liked it like that. A hard training session helped you to clear your mind. "Steve told me, you have a tough punch, but I had no clue" "Because you underestimated me all the time" "Ohhh did I? What a horrible mistake of mine" "Right" you nodded your head and went over to the place where you had your stuff, a little town, a water bottle and a jacked for leaving. You took the city and wiped the sweat away from your face. "You weren't in the pub Yesterday…. I've waited for you" "I-I had…. Stuff to do. Some documents to check and things to think about" "Mhm" he slowly nodded his head and repel from the what he lend on and walked towards you. "Were you successful? With the documents?" "Uhm-"your thoughts went clear for the blink of a second. Did you ever mention how unbelievably clear and beautiful his eyes were? This kind of blue was so light, like a nice clear blue sky. "No," your voice returned, and you shook your head. "There was nothing helpful in these documents" you knitted your eyebrows and took a step back. He was coming unusually near again. What was wrong with him? "Bucky…. What you want from me?" "What I want? From you?" "Yes. I have no problems with admitting that I am confused by your behavior" "You are confused by me?" she smiled a little bit brighter and honest. "That's-"you rolled your eyes. "That's not what I meant! You just behaving oddly! Tell me what's up, now!" "You don't like that?" "Liking what?!" "Liking it when I come near to you? Writing these letters to you? When I devour you with my eyes?" he wanted to get all seductive but no chance. That sounded too stupid for her taste. "Bucky, you know we are not in one of these movies from the theater? Devouring me with your eyes is not the kind of phrase which makes me melt for you" you blink at him and turn away from him. "Indeed… I think a woman who fell for that have very little self-respect" "Claw, come 'one! You can't tell me you didn't like this kind of cheesy! Everybody likes that!" "Ohhh, now I get it" she turned back to him and smiled herself. "I am just a target on your list, and you get frustrated because I am not thirsting over you! Like most of the girls back home? So predictable. And I thought there would be more behind it. Guess it is just the game of an unmatured little schoolboy" you waved it off and wanted to grab your thinks to leave. You were almost out of the door when Bucky asked to hold you back. "Want to hear a funny story?" you give a huge sigh and roll your eyes, but you turned around one more time and crossed the arms in front of your chest. "Sure" maybe he will give up after this story. You didn't want to be the center of a stupid game. If you wanted to have the attention of a man, you wanted it to be real. And when it comes down to Bucky and you, there was just real aversion. "Yesterday – when I waited for you in the pub – I talked with Steve. He told me you were confused about the letters. Maybe I shouldn't have written them in the first place since they came out of the blue" he knit his eyebrows for a short second, and for a moment, he looked lost, but then he regained his confidence and smirked at you again. "I never hated you, Claw. Never" "If that is true… why all these arguments, the comments, and that eye-rolling? That's doesn't make sense!" he wanted to come a little bit closer and smiled slightly. "You don't know about boys, right?" – you wanted to answer when you heard the door and a view voices. "Anyway," he cleared his throat and did a few steps back and folded the arms behind his back.

You glanced up and saw some guys from his Unit standing there, ready to use the training room. Then you looked back at Bucky, who tried to avoid any eye contact with you. That was the reason why you couldn't stand Bucky. He might be a good guy, but he changed his behavior, depending on who was around. Before these guys were here, he tried to be friendly and even tried flirting but now? He put so much space between you two as possible. "James," you said his name softly but with a disappointing undertone. You weren't disappointed that his flirting was just for his fun. You were disappointed because Steve felt so proud about Bucky being his friend. He would be so devastated when he finds out how Bucky behave. "Sergeant," you elongated your shoulders and nodded the head slightly to leave the room. At least you got your answer now, how to value these letters. You shouldn't value them at all, there is the product of a man who is just playing around, and you didn't have time for that. At the end of the day, it was War, and missions had to be planned.

The next few days, you brought as much space between yourself and Bucky as possible. You couldn't stand inconsistency, and Bucky was full of that. Anyway, it wasn't your problem anymore, since you discredited him for your greater good. He would take too much attention from you and your work, and right now, you needed all of your attention. The first mission of the Howling commando will be today. Tony, Peggy, your uncle, and yourself took days for the planning and researching. Since it would be a Hydra Base you are attacking, accurate planning was a necessity. That included calculating all the skills of the Commando itself. Peggy and your Uncle took the central part, planning the attack itself, with time management and others. Your domain was analyzing the abilities of Soldiers, that included Bucky, much to your chagrin. But luckily for you, most of Bucky's skills were written down in his military file, and you doubt that he learned new things. So it was an easy thing to calculate their skills into the plan. Even though many great minds worked on this plan, it was a weak one. You didn't know enough about the Hydra facilities, so you guys planned with some sort of puffer zone for mistakes. That's not the best Precondition for doing such a dangerous mission, but it will go well with a super Soldier like Steve. At least you hoped it for Steve. Lucky for you guys, there was a Hydra base basically around the corner from your Headquarters. So if something would go wrong, there are definitely safe options for retreat or reinforcement.

It was about 3 hours in the mission. You and Peggy were sitting the underground base at the big round table, with all the Plans for Today's mission. You had a walkie-talkie with you in case the guys needed help or further instructions. While Peggy was a little bit stressed and nervous, you were definitely calmer. You knew that Steve would be hard to kill since his wounds will heal faster and his overall senses are better. "How can you be so calm?!" Peggy grabbed the walkie-talkie aggressively and starred it down. Then she stood up and walked around like a chirpy cat. "It's Steve! He is your friend!" she tried to convince you into being worried too. "Steve is a super Soldier; he will manage to return" "And the others?" "They are with Steve" you smirked slightly and got in a more comfortable sitting position. You put your feet up on the seating surface of another chair, leaned back in your seat, and put your hand behind your head. "So much can go wrong! We should have planned it better! More details, and we should have trained more for it" she shook her head and turn over the mobile radio in her hands. "A-And the other one? Sergeant Barnes? I saw you talking a lot a while ago" "You really want to talk about it, right now?" she stopped walking for a second seemed to rethink her choice of Smalltalk. "Yes, why not" she shrugged her shoulders and set down a few seats away, and throw the Walkie-Talkie on the table. "This is what women do, right? Talking and doing nothing" after that, you have to laugh. Yes, that's what women are supposed to do at this age. "Agent Carter, we both know that women like us are supposed to do more than that," and Peggy had to smirk too. "The guys are fine, probably. Maybe already on their way back home. So do not worry too much about Steve" "I- I am not-!" she wanted to disagree, but you just raised your hand and shook your head. "I might not be a delicate woman, but I am no stupid. I can see, and I can interpret. Just an idiot would miss the chemistry between you and Steve" "Chemistry? That sounds like a pathetic movie" she rolled her eyes and sighed. "Even strong women are allowed to have a crush on a very handsome, nice, gentleman soldier with flawless blond hair and a demigod build body," you winked at her. You might be able to see a little glint of red around her nose. "I can relate, don't worry. Who wouldn't be interested in a 1,83 cm tall man build of pure muscles, right?" "I am not that superficial!" "I know!" you nod your head shortly and smiled warmly. "You like Steve because of Steve. Because of his values, principles, and character. Not because of his physical experience. I just want to say, it is okay to have a crush on him. Even though we are strong women, we are allowed to have feelings for someone else" "Is that so? What about you? You and Sergeant Barnes? Hm? You tell me I am allowed to fall in love with someone else but look at you! All cool and cold about the Soldier" "Me and Barnes? James Buchanan Barnes? The Womanizer from Brooklyn? No thanks," you shook your head and thought about Bucky for a second and shook your head again. "No! Never possible" "Sure" "I mean, he is too ---- too Bucky" "too Bucky?" "Yeah, you know, too smooth, charming with that crooked but somehow alluring smile and – you know – the optical appealing physic" "So…. You think he looks good?" "No, that's not what I meant" "That's what you said" "I just…. Analyzed it on a neutral basis!" "If you feel better about yourself if you say it like that," Peggy shrugged her shoulders and turned her back on you. What you said was nonsense. Looking for all those little things about a person, it not just analyzing them. It's giving them this special kind of attention, where you try to find as many little things as possible. "Steve told me about you and Bucky and your rough relationship" "What?! Why did he-" "For research purposes," Peggy interrupted you and turned around to look at you with a little smirk on her lips. "That there is a special kind of tension between you two is obvious. I needed to know if it is helpful or hindering for future missions. If there are problems in the Team, I should know, and he mentioned the thing between you two. I always thought that men are the underexposed gender, but in this case, it's you who is not getting it" "Getting it? Getting what?" "Sergeant Barnes" "Bucky? There is not much about him to get. He is a man; he likes boobs, hips, and most importantly, a lack of brain" "Sure about that?" "You are already the second person who is asking me that. Yes, I am sure! I do not change my mind on things; I am usually getting things right the first time, and James Buchanan Barnes? He is egocentric, idiotic, self-assertive, and the general opinion that a woman will immediately fall in love with his pretty face. So, what is there that I do not get about him?" "You actually have no clue, don't you?" you give a huge groan of annoyance and stood up from your chair. "Call me when they returned from the mission and how it went. I am sure Colonel Philips has something to do for me which is more sense full than…. Waiting," you turned your back to Peggy and wanted to walk out of the room when she mentioned something towards you, which throw out of the line a bit. "he likes you; that's why he behaved like this. I can't say if it's love but measured by the amount of time he has a crush on you, I would suggest it's something like love. Well, you can never be sure with men, but I am pretty sure he likes you" – "That's-" you turned around for a second and shook your head. "He is a little schoolboy who likes to play pranks and joking around. He was never serious about anything or anyone besides the friendship with Steve. It's just…. Bucky" "One of the many things I learned from my brother is that boys show affection by being extraordinarily annoying and mean towards girls. They think it would make them cooler and gives them the Bad Boy Charm. Obviously, it didn't work in that case, but I am sure sergeant Barnes has a little thing for you" Instead of answering her, you just left the room. The guys will be fine and probably back soon. Originally you wanted to ask your uncle for something to do, but now, you just wanted to have a strong and big drink. So you headed to your room, make a quick change of clothes, and left the basis for the pub nearby.

You sat there. A few hours – at least you thought it would be a few hours – but in reality, it must have been an hour or so. Not more than one and a half. Time was rushing in your current state of awareness because your brain was working. Your thoughts were rolling over each other because you tried to find the mistake in that scenario. You and Bucky? You have never been friends before, and now he had a crush on you? Apparently, to Peggy, he had a desire for a long time, but that wouldn't make sense. He was always with other girls, was flitting around, never seemed too happy about your presence. He just had a few nice words for you when you two meet, and mostly they were meant ironically. And then – out of the blue – there were these letters, and now you are completely confused. The people around you, telling you he has feelings for you but does he? Or is he just a good actor? You would assume the second, but Steve would have told you otherwise. So what is it with Bucky? He behaved strangely when he was around you and even more strange when others were around too. He was inconsistent, but why? This man was acting without any kind of logical concept behind it, and it drives you crazy, and then you came back to your old tuck and war game in your head. You wanted it to be accurate, but you know it couldn't be possible. Stuck between reality and a pipe dream (when you can call it like that). But instead of asking why he was acting like that, you should ask a better question: how did you felt about that? All of that? You couldn't stand Bucky because of his lucid character but was that all? Was that the whole reason why you didn't like him all these years?

"Hey, pretty Lady," someone put a drink next to you on the counter. It was a familiar voice you could recognize easily by now. "How you know I was here?" "I didn't. We successfully finished the mission, so we wanted to go for a drink. It just happened to be this pub with you in it" "James-" "Oh no. I thought we would be over the James thing" "I never liked you, and I showed you that I didn't like you. I even told you that I don't! So why –"you moved your head sideways to looked in his face. "So why do you like me? Why the only girl who showed that she is not interested?" he moved his head forth and back and had a slight smile on his lips. "I- I could say because you were the only one not interested, but that would be just half of the story?" "Then, what's the whole story?" "Well… It was somehow a love at the first sight situation, with the difference that you didn't like me" "You vomited on my dress" "Yeah – haha – not my best first impression, right?" "No. Actually not" "The point is-" he wanted to get a little nearer towards you when the front door of the pub was slammed open. You could hear loudly bawling man, and when Bucky leaned back and raised his hand for a greeting wave, you know it was the rest of the Howling Commando. And you immediately had that hunch that Bucky would go on distance now, and your conversation would be over. "Alright. You should go" "No, why? I am here talking to you" "Ohhh, you want to stay with me? All informal?" "Claw-" "James," he shudders his head and grins a little bit. "It wasn't your authority I had concerns about. Your uncle is the Colonel and Boss of this group. I didn't want to fall in disgrace" "A pretty lame excuse, don't you think?" "It isn't an excuse" "Sound like one" "Why-" he knit his eyebrows and shake his head slowly. "Why are you so distrustful of me? What I did to you?" "You ---! Do not act like I am the odd one here" "Odd one? What you mean?" "You have a crush on me?" you decided to jump into the cold water and just asked the question, which burned on your tongue. Also, Bucky seemed to be overwhelmed by that and looked at you like a deer in headlights. You were a little impatient, so after you didn't get an answer, you just rolled your eyes and stood up from your seat. "Boys will be boys…" you whispered, annoyed and thrust past Bucky and head for the Exit of the pub, with fast steps. Behind your back, you could hear how Bucky pushed back his chair too and head after you. "Claw, wait!" he wanted to grab your forearm, but you were faster and went out of the door. If you believe he would give up – haha – good joke. You took a deep breath from the cold evening air when you felt pressure around your wrist. As fast as you've always been, you withdraw your hand from Bucky's, turned around, and wanted to punch him in the face. But you underestimated him and his reflexes. He already saw that coming and dodge his head to the side and grinned. "You know most girls just start whimpering if they didn't get an answer" "I am not like most girls" you were incredibly angry at yourself for wasting so much time with him. You were angry about him for being him! So you went for the next attack and wanted to use a horizontal elbow strike, which was also blocked by him. This time, he holds your elbow tight with his hands he blocked it with. "Yes, that's right. You are not. You are like a feral cat. Always grumpy and always willing to fight" "Right!" you rushed to remove your arm from his hold, took a half step back, and went for a lead head kick, but you got it a little bit lower, so you would just hit his rips. He wasn't prepared for that, so you hit him with full power. He groaned in pain and hold his side; he could already feel how a big hematoma will grow there. This time, he really did make her angry. He heard from Steve that she was a good fighter, but he never knew how good she actually was. She was fast, strong, and had total control over the positioning of her kicks and punches. A real powerhouse of a woman. Of course, he went for the feisty one! "Ouch – that was a good one, Claw" he pulled in air sharply and put again a smile one. "But if you would have waited for 10 seconds more, you would have to get your answer" "I don't need one anymore" you loosed up your attack and defense fight position and pulled straightened your clothes, and wanted to leave when Bucky grabbed your arm, again and again, you punched him. This time, you got his nose. "Jesus – Claw!" he pulled his head back and hold his nose, but you didn't saw blood coming out from it, so it was fine. Maybe it will get a little swollen but not more. "Stop punching me!" "Stop touching me!" "No!" "Okay, then do not complain about punches!" "Why do you have to punch me?!" "I don't know – reflexes?" "Get it under control!" "Stop touching me!" "No!" "Why?!" "Because I don't want to!" "Okay then-" "Even if you use me as a punching sack," "Don't complain then!" "Just stop it for a second" "Why?" "Because I want to tell you that I indeed have a crush on you!" "Why?" "What you mean with why? It's just like this!" "Why?" "Claw!" you looked at him perplexed. When you heard it, and it was clear that he had a crush on you, you were more confused than before. That never happened before. Never ever did a boy admit something on you – except when they said they didn't like you. That was something new, and now it was Bucky too. The only one you could never imagine in that situation. "Claw?" he ripped you out of your thoughts and wanted to take a step nearer to you. Of course, he was careful and afraid that you would punch him again. "Permission to come near?" he asked jokingly, and you nodded slowly. "tell me why" "Why? Claw, I do not have an answer for that" he shrugged his shoulders. "It just is what it is. One day, I started to look at you closer, notice little things you did, and then it just happened" "You stalked me?!" "No! NO! That's not what – Jesus! You are so intelligent and yet so stupid" he seemed to get angry too, or more frustrated. "I send you these letters in the hope you would change your mind about me. There is something private and intimate, so you could know me on a different level. With people around us, it was hard for me to get to know you" "Okay, but-"you knit your eyebrows in confusion. "Why all the flirts with numerous girls? In front of me? Didn't make sense" "Well-" he smirked. "I thought I could make you jealous, but it clearly didn't work" "No, it didn't! The opposite happened; I liked you less" "Wow – ouch – yes, it was a stupid idea but-" "No! You are just joking around!" you made a few steps away from him to leave, but he heads after you again, and he grabbed your wrist again and pulled you towards him, this time. At that moment, you wanted to make a noise of protest, but it was too late. He pressed his lips on yours but not in an aggressive way. It was somehow a gentle and shy kiss, more like a softly putting his lips on yours despite the situation. You were surprised by the act itself but also by the good feeling it gave you. A few seconds, you tried to melt into that new, arousing feeling until your brain started to work again and pulled you faced back and slapped Bucky hardly in the face. "Claw-"but before he could finish the sentence, you grabbed his face and kissed him again. You wanted to make sure this feeling was not just a one-time glimpse, and it wasn't. After a few seconds, you ended the kiss and were shocked about the result, and when the last minute panic was growing in you, you slapped him again. "Sorry," you directly apologized what didn't make the situation better. You kicked him, punched him, and slapped him multiple times. Seemed like he would be over you right now. "I hope it's not getting a habit to hurt me, whenever I am near to you….?" "You plan to do this more often?" "I –" he wanted to say something and just shook his head. You were incredible and so naturally honest. "I want to kiss you again – now – please do not punch me" "I try" "Promise!" "I try, but I can't promise!" "Claw!" "Wait-"you took one step back again. "I still don't get it. You behaved like a jerk all these years because you liked me?" "Yes" "That's so stupid!" "I am a boy, Claw. We do stupid things" "But that even too stupid for you," he groaned, annoyed and shook his head, when he stemmed his arms in his hips. "Just shut up for a second and let me kiss you. Okay?" "But-" she wanted to disagree, but he went to her with a few quick steps to kiss her again. It was still soft but more confident and intense. And there was it again, that little, intense and new feeling which started to grow in your stomach. It tingled a little but was warm – so hot – and it grows fast until that warmth was everywhere in your body. He stated a little sweet, with a bitter undertone, from his drink. His lips were so soft, but his hands on your cheeks felt a little bit sore but not disturbing at all. He smelled a little bit like smoke, sweat, and dirt from the mission he came from. When he ended the kiss, he slightly smirked. "You didn't punch me. We are making progress, darling" "Don't call me that" bumped him against his chest, so he had to make a half step back with a bright smile. You rolled your eyes and turned away from him. "Fuck you!" – "Would you?" "You know, I used to dream about ending your life" you had that little devilish smile on your face, which just get countered by his self-proud smile. "Now you want to spend it with me? I would call that progress" "Na, I still think about ending it if you continue doing what you are doing" "And what am I doing?" "You are driving me crazy. Stop that" "No chance," he shook his head and put his arm around your shoulders. "What are you doing?" – "touching you?" "Stop that" "No way!" "Barnes!" "I love it when you are yelling my Name" "You ---- IDIOT!" "Your idiot. We want to be specific here" "I kill you, I promise!" "Don't make promises you can't keep" "Who said I can't keep it?" "Because you do not hate me" "Grrrrr – you are still an idiot!" "Loooooove is in the aaaaaaair," he stats to sing when it was finally enough for you. You freed yourself from him and ran a few steps forward, but he came after you. Guess you didn't get rid of him any time soon.

The next mission for the howling Commando was in progress. Together with the soldiers, Peggy, Uncle Chester, and you were developing a better plan. They told you that there was some trouble with equipment and gave you information about how this facility was built. Based on the new information's you were designing a new plan of attack. This progress took a while, and it took much time. So you personally had just a little time left and spend this free hour with sleep and rest. Since Bucky didn't have all these tasks, he was finished with his things early on days. Actually, he just had the usual training schedule on his daily routine. Maybe a weapon test, when Stark was finished with something new, but that's it.

"Great! Put it down on a report, so we can give it for further investigations" your uncle closed the meeting for the day and left the notes on the big round table. Today it was your turn to put the stuff you talked about into a pretty file. It would be the last thing on your to-do list for the day. After everybody left the room, you heard how the door opened again. You looked over the big table on the opposite of the room. You saw Bucky standing there, having a quick view over the notes on the table. "paperwork?" utilizing his voice, you could tell that he hoped you would say no, but he knew it was a lost hope. "Yes," you groaned in exhaustion and looked again over all the papers. It was a hard week for you, and you didn't have a lot of sleep. So many things that need to be done, and this was the last drip for you. Since the War began and you were in active service, something like weekend got a foreign word. "Maybe I can help you?" "Just when your fingers can tip on a writing machine as fast as you can shoot" "Uhm…. No" "Then you can't help me" "Buuuut-" he smiled and walked around the table towards you. "I can do other things?" he went behind you and stroke your hair to the side to start kissing your neck softly. "James-"you giggled a bit. "We can't – not here!" "did I mentioned that I love it when you call me James with that flutter voice of yours?" "Sergeant Barnes!" you wanted to talk sense in him, but there was no chance that he would end his activity back there. "I love it even more when you call me Sergeant Barnes," he whispered into your ear with a hot breath, so your whole neck was covered in goosebumps. After a few moments, he started to caress your neck with the tip of his fingers. As he would crawl you. "You are really tensed" then he started to massage your neck, which elicited you a few relaxing groans. It felt so good when he's strong, and big hands knead your hurting muscles in your neck, and you closed your eyes for a few seconds to really lean into his movements. It's been a while since you two had time for each other. After that – more than just awkward – evening, you hadn't had many moments to talk about what happened. You two just agreed – in silence – that you would just roll with it and see where it ends. You are still suspect about him a little bit. On a scale from 1 – 10, you trusted him with a good 6 or 7. So there was a long way to something like a liaison. Bucky was incredibly talented when I came down to being seductive and charming. Nothing you didn't know before, but you had to be careful. After you just let go of most of your thoughts, falling for him completely was a sweet forbidden fruit. He couldn't control any of his desires, drives, or carvings, so you had to be twice a careful. The art was to not get addicted to him and taste too much of that sweet, sweet flavor and have just enough taste on the tip of your tongue to make life delicious as candy. If you tasted too much, you would get into an ecstasy, to less, and you two would get bored. It was a balancing act, or a play with fire because Bucky was like a forest fire. "Hey Claw," his voice brought you back to reality, and you tried to turn your head towards him. "hm?" "Do you want to go out with me tonight? Dancing? Having a drink? Maybe a little moonlight walk?" "A date? You want to go on a date with me?" "I want to take you out, not date. Dating is for people who are not a couple – we are" "Are we?" you asked back. For you, it wasn't a real couple feeling what you two had and did. It was more like a workplace romance, but it didn't felt like something serious, strong, and made for more. "You – You didn't think we are, something?" "Bucky-" you turned around to him and leaned against the table. "What do we know about each other? Most of the time I have known you, I didn't like you" "Thanks for the friendly reminder" "I just want to point out that you can't jump from enemies to lover just by the blink of a moment" he seemed to thought about it and nodded his head. "Good. We have a date tonight. Put on something nice, and I will pick you up. Sound good?" "Indeed" "Great! But-" he put a hand on your cheek and gave you a little kiss on your cheekbones. "I will not give up the kisses, even if it is indecently" he winked at you and wanted to leave the room. At the moment he left, you wanted him back. He smelled so incredible good, and his body warmth was so intense when he was near to you. "Sergeant Barnes!" and as you would pull him back on the string, he turned around to you in one fluid movement, beat the heels together, and stretched his head forward as he would expect any commands from you. "Yes, Ma'am?" To be honest? You liked him in his soldier mode. So serious and receptive to your orders, even though you didn't have a higher military rank than he did. "Please remind your Unit to submit their mission reports in time. I do not want to run after that" "Yes, Ma'am," he winked at you before he left the room. After you were sure he left, you took a deep breath. You needed to get your work done, and after that, you could think about the date tonight. If you manage to be able to go there. You have to admit, you never went on a date before. You never were interested in this kind of activity, AND nobody ever asked you.

It took you forever to put everything on paper and file it away. It was a long evening in the office and your eyes already hurt from the desk lamp's bad lighting. It was somehow a filthy yellowish light, and it started to flicker after a few hours. You realized how late it was when you heard the door behind you. You looked tiredly over your shoulder and saw Bucky in his dress uniform. "You forgot it?" "No. I just had too much work to do" "You need help?" "No, I finished it, like 1 minute ago" you leaned back in your seat and closed your eyes. "So you don't want to go out anymore?" "To be honest? I would prefer to just stay here and have a casual evening" "Okay," he nodded and grabbed a chair from nearby to sit next to her. Before he sat down, he unbuttons his uniform jacket and hangs it over the backrest of his chair. He also got rid of his tie and opened the first two buttons of his shirt, pulled it out of the trouser, and took off his head to loosen his hair too. He looked like a wild night out, with too many drinks and wild affairs. Perfect fit to your optical illusion right now. You were tired, your uniform slipped here and there a little bit, and you already took off your shoes and tie. "Already better! So – I am sure somebody has a bottle of scotch in their desk drawers" "Yes-"you pointed at the biggest desk at the top of the room. "My uncle has some, in the lowest one" "Your uncle? Sure nobody else?" "Just go and grab the damn scotch!" "Yes, Ma'am!" he stood up and walked fast over there. Didn't took him long to get the bottle and came back. "Glasses?" he looked around to look for Something they can use as glass. "Damn it" you overreached the bottle and opened it, and took a sip out of it. You weren't in a pub, fancy ballroom, dinner with parents, or in the company! You could drink right out of the bottle, at least this one time. "Okay," he took the bottle back and took a sip. "You are not ladylike, aren't you?" "Definitely not!" "That's good. I am not a fan of the Gentleman stuff either" "You would look terrible in cylinder and wreck" "You think so?" "Pretty sure, yes" "Thank God I do not have to wear one. The military uniform is already killing me. Do you know how much time it took me to get into all of these layers? An unreasonable daman!" he took another sip. "Be happy you do not have to wear these tight skirts – Jesus, what would I give for a pair of comfortable shoes and pants!" you took the bottle back and also took a big sip. "I mean-" he raised an eyebrow, put on a mischievous smile, and tilted his head a bit. "You could just take all off" "No!" you took another sip. "I am not one for your easy girls, where you just smile, and the clothes fall off" "That's what you think of me? A sex-driven guy?" "I didn't say that! I just said that it took you more effort to take off my clothes" "I didn't doubt that" he took back the bottle and took a big big sip out of it. "What you planned for the evening? Besides dancing and walking?" "Talking. Mostly talking. I already talked with Steve, and there are so many things we do not know about each other. So maybe tonight is a good start?" "Sure. Ask whatever you want to know" "How did you meet Steve?" "Oh good – I guess it was somewhere in the primary school. His father and my father were friends from active Service. So we meet somehow one day. We linked over a book and got into a chat, and – yeah – now we are here. How did you meet, by the way? That Is way more interesting?!" "he got into a fight. Couldn't finish it. So I did. Our bonding moment" "Guys," you rolled your eyes, smiled, and reached out for the bottle to take another sip. "And your father is fine with you being here? And serving for your country? I bet he must be proud that his little wildcat is doing Something in the military as he did?" "Uhm…. He… I hope he is proud, but I don't know" "You don't know? Didn't have that strong bound?" "Oh no, we have – had – we were really close" "Had?" "He died a few months ago inactive Service. Before Steve and I joined the SSR, I got a letter that he passed away. But it's not a big deal, I knew he would die in this way and so did he" "You dad died, that's a big deal" "It was predictable, so it didn't hit as hart" "But --- how can you not be sad?" "Like I said, it was predictable. It's not like that I didn't love my father, but I knew he would die inactive Service, so it was kind of prepared for that" you shrugged your shoulders took another sip out of the bottle. "Is that why you like to follow logic ways?" "Hm?" "I noticed, you are fine with things as long they are logical. As soon as it's not logical, you are confused" "maybe. Maybe not. I never thought about it. Logic is simple and relatable in contrast to people" "That can't be true! You have to have a person you can rely on! What about…. Your uncle!" "Hm… he was there when my mother died when I was younger, but he left someday, without a word" "Then you father!" "The US Army was always more important than me. He would prioritize them over me all the time" you shrugged your shoulders and took another sip from the bottle – a big one this time. "Who else is on your life, then?" "Steve was with you most of the time. I am not resentful because of that. Friendships between the same Sex are always stronger, so it was fine" "You do not have siblings?" "No" "Aunts? Uncles?" "No" "Grandparents?" "Dead. Listen, Bucky-" you shrugged your head. "I am fine. I've been good on my own, so I just will continue doing that; worked out good" "But-" he knit his eyebrows. "You are not alone" "Yes, I know I have my uncle with me all the time, now. And Steve, Peggy – You! But what will happen after the war ends? Everyone will go their own ways then" "You think?" "Colonel Philips will stay in the Army, Peggy and Steve will start something together – at least I hope so and I-" "We could be together too, you know?" "You think that will work? Honestly?" "You don't?" "James-" "Here we go" "Please listen. You are not as bad as I thought, you are a really nice guy. A little bit chaotic but through and through loveable, charismatic, aesthetic, good looking, and you can be a gentleman. Many women lie at your feet, and I believe you would find a good looking one to be your future wife one day. So why me? I do not have a wife's potential. So why me? I really do not get it, not at all!" he listened, nodded his head, and took a sip of the scotch. "You think you are not loveable?" "That's not what I asked. Why me? I was never nice to you. Never" "Good question! Great question! I-I don't know-" "Bucky-" "let me finish! I do not know the correct answer. But….. in the 10th grade – it was a pretty hot summer day, so the school ended earlier – as soon as you left the school, you sat down on this old bench in front of the school. You wore a summer dress in decent light blue with a darker color gradient. Your hair was up in a messy bun, and a few strands hang out. So you sat there, with a black book in your hands with golden letters on it, and we're just reading. It seemed like you were completely sunken into these pages until Steve walked over to you and talked to you. You looked up and had the most beautiful smile on your ever I ever saw. Bright and full of joy! And immediately, I felt warm and happy. This was the only time I ever saw it on you, and somehow-" he interrupted his sentence and smiled warmly and in total nostalgia. "Somehow, I wanted to be the reason for that smile. Claw --- do you believe in love at first sight? I know it sounded pathetic, but at that moment – in that little moment – I started to had a crush on you. So I talked to Steve, and he wanted to introduce me to you, at that summer ball, when I vomited on your dress. Good first impression, right? After that, I noticed you couldn't stand me, but I didn't want to give up because no matter how many times a girl smiled at me, I never had that feeling again, and that's why I cannot let you go! Not without a serious try! Can you --- can you understand that Claw? Even though you do not believe in that?" you listened to every word that he said, and even if you do not understand the reasoning, you somehow understand his emotional situation. "That why you wrote the letters?" "mhm, yes! At the front – when people try to kill you, you find yourself in the position to write a bucket list, and you know what? Giving It a try with you was the first thing that came to my mind. So I started to write you these letters. Worst case scenario? I got to shoot, and it was just a stupid idea" he did a shoulder shrug and grabbed the bottle to take a sip – the last one. "When I think about it now, it was just a stupid idea. Instead of accepting these sad feelings and admitting them," he stood up from his seat and grabbed his jacket, swung it over one shoulder, and grabbed his heat. "I start to get tipsy. Didn't drink that much in a while; I guess I will go to bed now," he explained. "Normally, I would try to sneak a good night kiss or would try to seduce you – well… I guess not tonight. You didn't seem to have decided yet if you want to give it a try yourself. I might be a jerk compared to you, but I am not that stupid" he pinched together his eyes because the dizziness started to grow. "So it's up to you now. Tell me if you like me enough to try or don't" he shrugged his shoulders and head towards the exit. "Oh and –" he turned around for another time. "Have a good night, Agent Claw" "That's not –"you smiled and shook your head. "Good night, Sergeant Barnes – Bucky" you nodded and saw him go. Good question, by the way: do you want to give it a try or not? Maybe it's not the right time to think about that, right now. You were tipsy, tired and it was late in the night. You should go to sleep yourself and rethink your choices for a second in the morning.

The next day was a calm one. This short before a new mission, it was usually hushed on the foothold. The soldiers prepared themselves for the next big thing, and the strategic department hadn't any work left. The plans were made and given to the soldiers, so it was up to them to do as they told. Peggy was fuzzy as usual and studied the method for tomorrow's mission over and over again, in case there was a leak, but there wasn't. So your uncle and yourself were pretty relaxed and were just sitting around.

So you got yourself a quiet place in the conference room, where you gabbed a swivel chair and rotate a little bit while you stare at the ceiling. You wanted to make another full turn when someone stopped your chair. You didn't even notice someone came in. "Hey Claw" "Steve! Stressed out because of tomorrow?" "Not really. Can I have a seat?" "Sure," he placed himself in front of you on another chair. "I guess we have to talk," he started and looked you drop dead serious in the eyes. "Do we?" "About Bucky? I guess we have to. Honestly, I never thought I needed to give a girl a Bucky Speech, but I guess there is a first time for everything" "A Bucky Speech? Seriously, Steve?" "Don't worry, he got the Claw Speech already" "There is a Speech about me? What did you tell him?" he gave you that glace, that he would not tell you this and you didn't care too much. "When I imagined this moment, I always thought I would actually write down all the points I am about to talk about. Thinks like: he is a good man, chaotic but honest, he will care for you and be a good husband and so on and on…. But I guess I do not have to tell you that. You either already know that or don't care, so I can save it for later-" he started to knead his hands as he would be nervous or tensed, Something like that. "Actually, I have to take a different approach. We – we both – know each other for many years, so I can claim that I know you! I know the character you made up to keep the world and their problems away from you. I know the character you turn on when you meet someone you don't like AND – most importantly – I know your real self. And I know that you never let anybody near you, especially not people you weren't so sure about. All the more, it surprised me that you and Bucky started to getting a – a thing. But Claw… Bucky is not like you, you know? He has his edges and mistakes, but he is – open. He is open, honest, truthful, brave, strong, and… delicate. He would never show or tell you, but he very sensitive sometimes, and you? You keep delicate and sensitive as far away as possible. You do that because you are afraid of getting hurt, and you do it successfully. It took me a few years to figure that out, and I think Bucky didn't realize it by now. I am afraid he will find out too late when he got already been hurt by you. Listen, we – you and I – will stay friends – good friends, I hope. But… if you do not take Bucky seriously, tell him now and not, when he already fall for you. Because somehow-" he laughed a little bit. "Somehow, he really is in love with you. I guess the saying that opposite attracted was never as true as right now. You get what I want to say?" you listened to every single word, and he had some points. You thought about it yourself a few times by now. And from a simple logical viewpoint, it was more consistent to turn Bucky down. But somehow, you couldn't. You had him, and you knew that, and now you didn't want to let him go. He was yours now. "I understand your concerns" you nodded slowly and smiled. "But I do not share your concerns" Steve knit his eyebrows and looked confused at you. You just shrugged the shoulders slowly and smiled. "D-Does that mean that you--?" "Well…" "Really, Claw? Bucky? You and Bucky?" "There is no Me and Bucky yet. But maybe? I don't know" "For real? I would never ever bet on that" "It's strange for me too. Such a new and unusual feeling, but Bucky isn't as bad as I used to think about him" "So that means you – you are actually trying?" "I try… trying…? Is that correct? I don't know, Steve! The first time I do Something completely illogical in my life, I didn't feel too bad. Guess it's right, but I don't know. I somehow cannot go fully in, if you understand what I am saying. I overthink a lot right now. So I hope Bucky has a little patience left for me to wait a few more days until I have decided finally" you shook your head and smiled. You liked that picture with you and Bucky more and more in your head, even if it was a strange one. Guess strange was your new thing – your new preference. "okay then… actually…. I don't know what to say anymore!" he stood up, a little bit perplexed still and wanted to leave the room. "Good luck for tomorrow. The mission," you said before he left.

The next day was pretty busy on the base. Since it was the second mission, everything was more detailed and had more context. He changed from the last mission where noted, and a detailed site plan was rolled on the big round table. Every member of the howling commando, which was involved in the current mission, had a Walkie-Talkie to stay in contact with the base. For time management reasons, every member got their own person of strategic support. Of course, it happened that you got Bucky this time since he was the Sniper of the group and needed to have everything on hand. Everything went after the plan they developed until Bucky talked via funk with you. "Hey Claw" "Hm?" "We got a problem" "Problem? Which kind of Problem?" "A big one" "What happened?" "There is a bomb. And it is definitely activated. Some of the scientists turned this thing on when we entered the building" Your uncle heard it and came up to you and grabbed the radio. "Sergeant Barnes, here Colonel Philips. Does the bomb have a time display?" a few moments, nothing happened when Bucky reported back. "It does. It was hidden" "What does the time say?" "two minutes and less" "Is there any opportunity that you guys could just run?" "Negative, Sir. This facility is like a labyrinth. We needed minutes to enter the central point" your uncle shook his head and put the radio down. "This is not good," he whispered before he turned around and screamed into the room. "Is there a bomb specialist here? Anywhere near?" but he didn't get an answer. "Remind me to put a bomb specialist on the shopping list" he turned towards you and retook the radio. "Sergeant Barnes. We do not have technical support here. I would recommend running as fast as you guys can and looking for a safe spot to survive the explosion somehow," and he waited for an answer. "But Sir, we could try to defuse the bomb" "Negative! We do not have a specialist here, and you guys do not know it either" "But the explosion could kill many innocent soldiers, which are captivated here as experiments!" your uncle pinched his eyes together and shook his head. This was a sorrowful and bitter moment because there was no help for these soldiers. He needed to make sure his own people get out there safely. "I repeat! Get your asses out there!" "But Colonel-"this was when you had enough and grabbed the radio yourself. "James Buchanan Barnes! Do what you were told and get yourself and your teammates a safe spot to survive the explosion somehow!" then it was silent for just a few moments, but it felt like hours. "I am sorry. I will try to defuse the bomb!" "Bucky no-" and then the signal got lost, and the Walkie-Talkie went down. "Bucky?" you pressed the button to reconnect your radio with his, but no chance there was a connection build. "James?" you tried again, but there was just a monotony rush instead of his voice. "Sergeant Barnes! James! Bucky!" but there was no connection build. "Someone else?!" your uncle called into the room, but all the others shook their head. Even Peggy had lost her connection to Steve. "all Radios are down, Sir!" "Great. Really great! Get me a technical link to our Team somehow! Wha-What about Stark? He is waiting for our Team to bring them home with a plane! Can we get him on the Phone somehow?" "We are trying!" someone in the base was running around to try out different telephone links and radio frequencies. Then you felt a hand on your shoulder, and when you looked up, it was your uncle. He didn't say anything; he just looked in your eyes, as he wanted to say, that there are not dead and you would have enough time to shoot Bucky your own. Then he went off to try to find a connection to Stark.

It took about 10 minutes to reach out to Stark, who told them that they are safe on board his plane. All of them, the Howling commando and the saved soldiers. Apparently, Bucky just ripped out every cable possible at once, and that somehow worked. Well, seemed to be his Lucky day, at least for now. You had slightly different planes with the hero of the day. And congratulating him wasn't part of that.

You went outside as soon as you heard how a plane was landing. When you stepped outside, you already saw the group of man, walking away from the aircraft towards you and the base behind you. In the middle were Steve and Bucky, while Steve tapped Buck's shoulder as a sign of congratulation. He smiled and laughed, looked around, and everybody was more than happy to be home safely instead of you. You were standing there, in the middle of the base entrance with crossed arms and starring the guys down, which they didn't notice yet. So you started walking towards them until they see your presence. Bucky was the first one, smiled brightly over his whole face, and raised a hand for a welcoming wave towards you. You didn't reply to that and just walked up to him. "Hey Claw!" when he was nearer, he ran the last few meters and stopped in front of you. "I-I am sorry, the radio just went down, and we couldn't keep contact anymore" as proof, he holds up the wholly destroyed Walkie-Talkie. "Mhm," you nodded slightly and didn't even look at the Walkie-Talkie; instead, you gave him a death stare, which kind of scared him. And before he could react, you already gave him a horizontal elbow strike on his cheekbone, making him stagger a few steps back. He releases a painful groan and holds his cheekbone.

Immediately a severe headache started to grow, but you didn't care much. "Sergeant Barnes," you growled, smoothed your clothing, turned around, and walked away. This time, he deserved it! He put himself in a dangerous situation, made it look like his chaotic ass got blown up in the air, and now he pretended to like, nothing happened? Praise the Lord, she was angry. Not just angry, she was about to raise the hell and let it collapse above his head. He was done with living; he just didn't know it by now. Maybe he should ask Cap for his bulletproof shield because he will need it next time he meets her.

Of course, your uncle got the news of what happened and had to disciplinary you. He had a 'no fighting in the team' police, and he was strict. You hit Bucky in front of everybody in the Unit. In consideration of his higher military rank, it was a violation of his authority. Which couldn't be tolerated within the military and especially not in the Unit of your uncle. Since he understands that Sergeant Barnes somehow deserved it, you just had to protocol the incident in your own file by yourself. Writing down things like this was horrible. You had to be honest; it needed to be factual and detailed. That forced you to rethink your actions and made sure that it would never happen again. Under different circumstances, you would get a disciplinary procedure and get kicked out of the military; dishonorable discharge would be called. Your uncle sends you to the secretary's rooms, to get your report done and he wanted it in the evening. So you sat there, with a pen in your hand and paper in front of you on the desk and just starred it down. You know it was stupid what you did, but he deserved it so much! This idiot! This stupid, stupid idiot! A knocking on the door ripped you out of your thoughts. You looked up and saw Bucky standing there. His cheek was swollen and already turned a little bit blue. He looked like a lost puppy or even better – he looked like a puppy who knows he did Something wrong and tried to apologize with big eyes and a cute face. "Claw…?" his voice was flat, and he had that questioning tone in it. "May I-" he couldn't even finish the sentence, as fast as you grabbed the stapler and throw it at him. At least he was fast enough to dodge, but the stapler crashed into the hallway wall and broke into pieces. He looked at the shattered thing and turned his head just in time to see that you already throw the hole puncher at him. "You Idiot!" you shouted at him, stood up from your seat, and grabbed all possible things to throw after him. He managed to dodge every time and didn't get hit. "You are an incompetent and complete idiot! I hate you – God knows I HATE you!" you grabbed a cup standing on the desk and tried to go for the head, but you missed somehow. "I wish you would have blown up!" next thing was a notebook, and you were incredible unerring when it came down to hit him. Lucky him, he was fast. "I really was thinking about letting you in my little world, where it is just me and myself, working together but YOU-!" you even got the writing machine to throw at him. "manage to make me angry all the time! Every time I thought, you changed for the better, you came around the corner with the next stupid action, and it's done!" now you went for the desk lamp. "And then you are coming up to me, with that puppy eyes, and think everything is good again? Nooooo NOT this time!" you throw the lamp at him. After that, have you run out of items. You breathed heavily, and the anger was written all over your face. Bucky somehow covered his head with his arms and looked down at all the broken things to his feet. This was a whole new stage of angry for you. "I am honestly this short away from shooting you right here right now! How does it even crossed your mind that you could defuse a bomb build by Hydra with technology we do not fully understand?! HOW? Tell me how?! You could have died, Bucky!" "St-Steve was there too. Why do you not try to murder him?" "Because he is super-soldier, but you are not! You are as normal as I am, and our life is faster over than his!" you needed to take a few deep breaths when you saw the gears turning in his mind. And then, a bright and warm smile came on across his face. "You---- want me? Seriously? For real?" "Wanting you? I want that you start to delate those stupid ideas in your mind!" "But you want me? Want me as yours?" "What are you? A cup you can borrow?" "Claw!" he rushed over to you and smiled at you like a little schoolboy. Even when you tried to kill him in the past minutes, he is still all yours - like a puppy. He looped his arms around your waist and presses his forehead against your temple. You were still a little grumpy and didn't want to look in his face, so you turned your head slightly away from his, towards the door of the room. All these broken things, when your uncle sees that, he would be as angry as you were when you did that. "But please try to kill me not as often, yes?" "You don't decide that!" you growled. Then you heard immediate steps in the hallway, and shortly after, you saw Steve with his shield standing there and looking down at the stuff on the ground. "What the hell-"you fast grabbed Bucky's short handgun and shoot a few times at Steve. Of course, he raised his shield as protection, so he didn't get hurt. Peggy told you she did this one time with him, so you were sure he managed to shield himself from the bullets. Bucky had let go of you and retracted his head when you gave him back his gun. "You are an idiot too!" you growled at Steve when you decided to leave the room and the two boys behind. Boys will be boys and will do stupid things all the time.

"You are so bad at this-" she laughed because he tickled her while she wanted to move one of her chess figures. "Checkmate, my friend" "Mhm," he just murmur a little bit and continued the work he was doing. It was a nice and quiet morning after another mission. When he arrived after two whole days back at the base, the first thing he did was hijacking you and detaining you in his room. Since he was a Sergeant, he had his own four-wall, which came in handy right now. So after 2 days and a tough mission, he wanted to relax with you and maybe do Something more fun, and you had no complaints about it. The result was, you two sleep way too long in the morning, but obviously, nobody seemed to care. Looked like nobody needed one of you at the moment. And instead of just lying lazily in the bed, you suggest playing a round of chess. Bucky had a total lack of talent; besides, he was busy caress your back a little bit. So he wasn't able to fully concentrate on the game, and he didn't even try. He wanted the game to be over, so your full concentration would be on him again. "You smell different when you are awake, you know that?" "What?" you knitted your eyebrows and rolled over on your back to look in his face. He was still a little bit drowsy with wild and fuzzy hair but with that satisfied glow all over his face. "I had no idea; you were into that," he smirked blissfully. "I would love to do that again," and a little mica of hope came up in his eyes. "James!" "Well… maybe not you are right. My back and neck are full of scratches. It would be hard to explain that" he smirked and layer his head next to yours, and but his body over yours. He was tired, and it was no surprise. He came back from a hard mission, and then you kept him awake all night. You felt how his body got heavier and heavier; he was again about to fall asleep. "Bucky, "you put your hand on the backside of his head and started to caress his hair and head, and immediately, you heard a pleasing little purr from him. "Yesterday, Stark finished your new uniform. Remember that? You should go and try it on to see if it fits," but he didn't give you a reaction. He probably just played dead. "Don't pretend like you're asleep. Should I find a way to wake you up- " "No!" promptly, he raised his head and body from yours and sit up. He pinched his eyes for a second and rub over his face a few times before he crawled towards the end of the bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. He put his elbows on his knees and let his head hanging. "Please don't get me wrong. I would love to have another round with you, honestly. But-" he looked over his shoulder and saw you laying in the white sheets on the bed. You rolled over to lie on your side. Your body well-formed, elegant with nice curves, smooth and soft skin, your head propped on your hand, and your hair falling down in great curls, which had a little shine from the morning sun. You grabbed a little piece of fabric to cover your au naturel body a little bit. Enough to make him resist his inner drives but not enough to stop tempting him. He got a little taste last night. How it was to be desired by you and how sensuous you are. It was incredible and stand in such a contrast to how you behave during the day. Honestly, he didn't think you could be that passionate and how you cloud his senses. And then you smile, that delicate but devilish little smile, almost cocky as you would know you could get him back in bed anytime. You just needed to slip the sheet from your body. "Stop that, please. I beg you" he shook his head and looked away. He never expected to be on this side of the story, being the one who got captured and turned into jelly when the significant other had that specific look on their face. Normally it was always him to seduce the woman, but this time around, he got seduced. "But Sergeant…" this tone in your voice gave him chills and prickles in the stomach. He heard how you moved on the bed, and a second later, you entangle your arms around his neck and shoulders, your bare upper body pressed against his naked back. "But it's not appropriate for a Sergeant to beg," you whispered into his ear, with your lips slightly graze his ears and your hot breath hunting down his neck and jawline, so he got goosebumps. Oh, sweet, sweet temptation. "Maybe I can offer myself to you in the evening?" "You are not a barter object" you gave him a little kiss on the cheek and let him go. "Do not forget to visit Stark!" you let yourself fall – back first – down in the bed again. Because of that, the chess game fell down on the floor. Guess you had to clean it up before you leave his room. After finally managed to get up and being dressed properly, you had to go back to work. Since it's the first day after a mission, you had plenty of time to go back to the headquarters office to do the paperwork. Luckily for you, Steve was fast with his mission reports, so you could at least start with Something, but the other Soldiers will take their time with writing down everything. Because of that, the training room was free today, so it was your chance to get a little exercise without the guys and maybe a meeting with Peggy and your uncle to analyze the newest target facility for the next mission. But actually, she just wanted to stay in bed for the whole day. She felt relaxed and light as it has not been for a long time. Was a great – wonderful – feeling, but after all, there is a war going on, and there is no time for relaxing. "What's your plan for the day?" you looked over to Bucky, who was already half-dressed and just needed to put on a shirt. "Work" the daylight was falling through the window directly on his body. Looked like liquid silk because his skin color was very light and unscathed. "Work?" "Paperwork" "Should I come and save you from the bad paperwork?" "I know you would love to, but this paperwork is essential for your next mission" "Claw," he moaned, annoyed. "I am not even 12 hours back, and you are already talking about the next one?" "Destroying the facilities is the top priority! We need to get it done as fast as possible" "I know, but-" "Bucky. As sooner we are done with this, as sooner the war might be over" "Uhm by the way…. Do you have any plans when it's all done? After the War?" "No. Not really" you knit your eyebrows. "I guess I will start studying Something? Maybe anything like that. What about you?" he shrugged his shoulders and put on a shirt. "You know, the usual: Job, House, Wife, and children. Nothing spectacular, just Something I can call my own" "That… actually sounds nice" "Oh and a dog" "Hmpf… I would like a cat" "We can have both" he winked at you and left the room before you could think about his words more. "WE?!" but before you could have a real protest, he was already out of the door.

You were already a few months into it, destroying Hydra and the liaison you had with Bucky, and it was perfect. Sadly the Hydra mission proceeded sluggishly since their head scientist, Dr. Armin Zola, was still free. When they destroyed one facility, he was building a new one somewhere else on the planet. So your uncle came up with a new priority: capturing Zola. Easier said as done since the SSR never knew where he actually was. You also lost track of Red Skull, so it was a big mess on that side. But the good thing was that every time you find and shut down a Hydra base, you learned new things about their technology, and Stark went straight to the technology heaven. Every time the Howling Commando brought back new weapons to analyze and create new ones, Stark was heavily busy.

Speaking of the Howling Commando – they went to their next mission in Germany this time. This one was long and took over a week but 'luckily' for you, Bucky did not go with them. The reason for that was, he got hurt, so Steve decided to let him at the base, so he could cure completely. So he was staying at the bottom, much to your delight, and even better was the fact that it was up to you to make sure he cured well. Your uncle gave you that task, not knowing what you two would actually do, since the whole Bucky and Claw thing were still a secret and nobody noticed by now. It is hard to believe, looking at the fact that you two were heavily marked by each other all over your bodies and went missing at the same time. Seemed like that everybody was entirely concentrated on the overall mission, so nobody had attention left to notice what was going on with you two.

"Ouch, Claw!" "You are such a baby, Bucky" you rolled your eyes and let off from his shoulder and massages his lower back, which relaxed him immediately. The wound, because of which he was left here, was a woof through his shoulder. He got it while he had a hand to hand fight with one of the guards on the last mission. Earlier this morning, he complained about back pain and had the idea that you could give him a massage, and of course, he would return the favor, so you agreed. "I need to cure! You should be gentle with me" "Ladies and Gentleman, the Sergeant" "You know, what you are doing, is called: disrespecting a higher-ranked person, right?" "You know what it called, what you are doing is? Taking advantage of a higher position of power," and as an answer, he just growled. "Baby…" you whispered again and stopped the massage. Your hands were tired, and besides the fact, you had an appointment. "What? Why you stopped?" "My deepest apologies, but-"you reached out for his bed desk and grabbed his pocket watch. "I have plans" "Plans? What plans?" "I will meet Stark in his laboratory" "Why?" "Because he has a new weapon for me. My old gun didn't work anymore, and he offered me to build a new one with new technology" "You know he is flirting with you, right? Since Peggy and Steve devouring each other with their eyes, he had caught an eye on you" "I know," you didn't sound concerned or even surprised. More like you didn't care too much. "You know?" "Wasn't hard to recognize. I really have to go-"you stood up from the bad and grabbed your clothing and put your stuff on under the vigilant eyes of Bucky. "I think I can convince you to stay…" "I am sure you can" you smirked and button your blouse. "The fun doesn't have to end, you know. We could stay in bed the whole day if you want to" "Bucky…. There is still much to do. War is not over yet" "God, I wish it would be over soon" "When we capture Zola and Red Skull, it will be over, for sure. Then we can stay in bed all day long" "I hope this day will come soon. You know what I was thinking about?" propped up his upper body and slide to the side of the bed to sit on the edge. He reached out to our hands, grabbed them gently, and pulled you closer to him. "No?" you put your hands down on his should and starts to play with his hair. "After the War is finished, I take you out for dancing. We will have a real date and another and another and another, But – here is the clue – after every date, I take you home" "That's the clue? This is good education, Bucky!" "No, no, you miss the point. I take you home, and I am going home with you. I mean, I am taking you to our home" "Our home?" you knit your eyebrows a little, be skeptical about his idea. "Wouldn't you like that? A small house in the city? O-Or a flat! Maybe a flat would be enough for a start, we still need room to grow. You can have your cat!" "Bucky-" "I know, I know, it's much to think about! I am telling you this is because my sister got her second child and will move out of our parents' flat. She and her husband will move into a house so the flat would be available. It's a big one, with plenty enough space for a second person" you wanted to say Something and opened your mouth, but no word came out. It was safe to say that you were a little overwhelmed with that suggestion. "You do not have to answer now. She will sublet the flat until I come back home. When the times come, you can come with me if you want to" "Bucky--- don't you think this is going way too fast?" "No – well – I mean, it's an option. Just a possibility you can keep in mind if you want to. When my sister and her family are gone, it will be quiet in the flat. I assume you will have the same at your home since your father is gone" "You are right, but-" "Hey," he smiled softly. "You do not have to decide now. Just think about it, okay?" you smiled back and slowly nodded. "Now you should go. Stark is for sure already waiting for you" "Right! See you later" you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then you left the room.

You went down to Starks laboratory to look for your new weapon. It was a big basement, just for him, since his inventions had the unpleasant habit of exploding from time to time. So your uncle gave him the basement, which was initially build to be an atomic bunker. You opened the big, heavy metal door and wanted to call after Stark when he popped up in front of you out of the blue. "I expected you hours ago!" he raised one eyebrow and looked suspicious at you. "I had…. Something to do" "Something, hun? Guess you didn't get much sleep, based on the circles under your eyes, Darling" "What do you hint at?" "You know what I mean – anyway! Your weapon, this way, my love" he points at a table at the end of the room where you should go over.

"So what can it do?" you saw a little weapon, ideal for having in it with you in a purse or at the belt. The thing was with women and Weapons that they have to be smaller, as usual, to sneak them with you all the time. "Basically working like a normal handgun but with significantly more shots, and I built it lighter than normal. It is basically a normal gun, but I took out the extra weight. Is that what you wanted?" you took the weapon and turned it over and over a few times to see it from all perspectives. Indeed it was incredibly light and handy. "exactly what I wanted" "I am glad I could make you happy. So…. How is Sergeant Barnes?" "Why?" "I don't know-" he shrugged his shoulder and had that all-knowing- look on his face paired with a smirk. "Howard, I have a loaded weapon in my hand. Do you think this is the right moment for unappropriated questions?" you gave him a strong glace with no room for false interpretations. He opened his mouth to say Something, when the light went down and the earsplitting sound of siren halls through the building. "What in God's name-"Stark covered his ears with his hands, but you know the sound of that siren – the signal for everybody in the building that enemies managed to enter the base. "Guess I have to try her out now!" you grabbed the second magazine and put it in your belt. "Hey, Stark! You can use a gun?" "Sure I can!" "Good. Grab one, we have to fight" you unlock your gun and head for the exit of the bunker. A quick look left and right to make sure the enemies are not on the hallway, and then you went straight for the way in the upper floors. Your steps were as quiet as possible, but luckily the heavy sound of the siren was covering most of your own noises you made.

On the other hand, it was also covering possible noises of the others. If this attack was a coincidence, it was a pretty good one for the others. All the Soldiers were out for missions, and the base was just protected by a few ones. Bad for them that you were one of these soldiers. Since you joined the SSR, your uncle and Peggy teach you how to use many handguns and how your combat fight style got better. Long story short: you are as good as any other soldier in this base!

Together with Stark, you reached the elevator and the stairs for the upper floors. Just in time, because the siren shut down and the light went on again. Favorably for you, no attacker was in sight. "Stark," you whispered his name and looked up the stairs. "Yes?" "You take the elevator; I do the stairs. If you see traitors – shoot!" "But-" "Shoot! Go" you shoo him in the direction of the elevator and yourself took the stairs.

Slowly and with the greatest caution you had, you went up the stairs. All your senses tensioned like a bow, ready to shoot. Step by step, you got higher and higher, but you heard nothing; even when the elevator reached the next floor before you, you couldn't hear Stark shooting or saying Something. Maybe the traitors think the basis would be completely empty or Something like that. Stark was already waiting for you when you went on the next floor and looking in the opposite direction. "I can't see anybody!" "Me neither. And I can't hear anything" "Maybe they went for the main office? At least that would be the room I would be looking for if I would break into a military basis. That the place with the most information!" he suggested, and it made absolute sense. "Okay. I am going for the office, and you go and check if anybody is going for your laboratory" "What? We just came from there" "I know, but this would be the second spot I would check out—the Armory. If Hydra is behind that attack, they probably want their technology back" "Well…. Yeah, that makes sense. Be careful!" "Same to you, Stark. See you later" he just nodded his head and took the stairs down again. Since the base was low on Soldiers and battle-tested others, you had to cover the most critical spots. Even when it meant that you have to split up into one-man teams. That was not a good idea at all, because now you didn't have anybody left to cover your back. Anyway – you somehow had a mission to fulfill.

On your way to the main office, you didn't saw any traitors or similar. Slowly you got the feeling that this was just a practice round, and nobody knew about it. The alarm had to be activated manually by one of your colleagues in the monitoring room to warn everybody. Why on earth you had the feeling that your uncle was sitting in front of the camera to see how the base would be protected without the soldiers in it? Like, he wanted to make sure it's safe here when the howling commando wasn't around. It would make sense, in your mind, because that was a pretty strange coincidence that you got attacked while nobody was here. Just people from inside this building knew about the mission and when they got executed. Either way, there was no room for mistakes. You didn't want to look like an idiot in front of your uncle when it was training. And you didn't want to die when it was a real attack.

Soon you reached the main office and went to it, to check if somebody was there. As you went in, you saw that a person – entirely in black – was looking through the papers on the table. The documents laying out there were mission reports about former and future missions you had in mind, and this traitor over there was looking at them. Shit happens; this was a real attack. "Hands up!" you targeted your gun on the person, and it turned around fast, and the face was not covered. It was a younger man, stocky build, with two guns at his belt. He looked a little surprised but didn't seem too worried about you, as soon as he realized that you were just a woman. "Same to you-" behind yourself, you heard another male voice and the clicking sound of a gun, which got unlocked. See, that's the problem when you do stuff like this alone without someone covering your back. "Come 'on, pretty Lady. Drop the gun!" you had no choice but to raise your hands with the gun in your hand. The man in front of you started smiling in a dirty way. "She is indeed pretty" "Shut up," you growled at them. There was no way you could shoot the one without the other shooting at you. You needed a miracle, and you already know how to get one. Bucky was in the building, and he couldn't be that far away, so you needed to gain a little bit of time for him – or anybody else – to get here. "What are you looking for? Need a little help?" "Thanks, but we do not need a secretary" "I am not a secretary, Asshole" you press your jaws onto each other. Maybe you should have deleted that 'asshole,' but he deserved it. "She is a feisty one," the man behind you laughed. "Maybe we can keep her for further things" "She is pretty, but not so pretty. When I am done here, you can shoot her" the man In front of you was going through the papers with the peace in the world. You wanted to say something snappy, as you heard gunshots behind you, and you looked over your shoulder. The man who was pointing the gun at you went down, and Bucky came around the corner. Out of instinct, you targeted your gun at the man in front of you, but it was a little bit too late. The man in front of you pulled out his guns and was shooting at you, and Bucky and you two shoot back. You got him directly, and he got down too, but there was something extraordinary. You had this huge pain in your abdomen, and you felt how it got wetter and wetter around your belly. Unbelievable, that fucking idiot got you. A quick look down and you saw that your originally white blouse was dyed red. "Claw!" somehow, Bucky appeared in front of you. Your awareness was clearly affected. There was just so much pain in your body. It hurt so much like you would burn from the inside, and with every beat of your heart, the pain got worse and worse. It was like, you couldn't even see or hear anymore because your brain was so busy with the pain in your abdomen. You couldn't feel your legs anymore, as they would be numb or something like that, and your eyelids got heavier and heavier. It was so exhausting to stand, be awake or breathe – just ---- so exhausting. You could feel how your body just collapsed and was about to fell down. You could hear someone screaming, calling your name over and over again, but it was like, as he would speak with cotton in his mouth. Or as you hat cotton in your ears. You couldn't understand words anymore, neither did you hear anything. It went slowly down, as your body would just shut down, and you started to freeze. It was so cold around here and so dark and silent, but the good thing was, the pain began to fade away. It got better and better, as more unconscious it got and your heart didn't pump as much anymore. Just a little bit, as it would go on a pilot flame. Funny feeling to feel how the body slowly relaxed and got lighter. A….. really…. Funny….. feeling.

Meanwhile…

The noises in the hospital were torturing his mind like someone would strike him with a baseball bat over and over again. Why was it so loud here? All the people talking, children crying, nurses running, and doctors rattle with medicine bottles. All the movements in the corner of his eyes, making him aggressive and nervous. Every time a door was opened, he looked up, just to see it wasn't a nurse or doctor with an operation smock. Besides all the noises, he still could hear the gunshots in his head, as they would remind him that he failed this time. No, no, it wasn't too late for her! He brought her here, carrying her all the way down the street in this hospital. He put pressure on the wound all the time and making a tourniquet, and she was still breathing when she got here. The doctors immediately took care of her and brought her into the surgery room. He did everything right, everything he learned to do if someone got shot in a sensitive area and she was strong! So strong! She would fight for her life, right? She would. He gave her plenty of reasons to fight, so she will get better. She will! She had to! His legs seesaw up and down nervously, he tugged his hair, was rubbing his face, looking around all the time, breathing heavily, and looked like a mess. The sweat ran down his face and back; he must have looked like a homeless from the street. His shirt all dirty and covered with blood, as so his hands, and there was a little bit on his neck too. Carrying her to the hospital wasn't the best idea for his wounded shoulder, so he had great pain in that, but he was ignoring it. He told Stark to inform the Colonel and Peggy that he would be here at the hospital. So he waited. Waited, waited, and waited for hours. The next time when he heard a door and raised his head, he saw the Colonel, Peggy, and Steve (?) coming through the door. As soon as the little group spotted him, she stood up and salute, like the soldier he was, because of the Colonel. "Sir" "You look horrible; what happened, Sergeant?" "T-traitors entered the building and tried to steal important information. There was an exchange of fire and Claw – I mean Agent ---- she got to shoot" "Great, and why didn't you cover her? Hm?" "Colonel!" Peggy intervened before he could go after Bucky, who just stood still and listened to his harsh tone. "Oh, to hell with you! Where do I find someone you can give me information's about my niece!" he was rushing by Bucky and towards a little group of nurses. "Bucky" Steve took a step closer and put a hand on his shoulder. "I-I shot one of them and didn't saw the other…." His voice was shaky, and he blinked a few times to keep away the tears. "I-I …. ""Bucky," Steve grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer into a brotherly hug. He knows how he must felt. When he lost his mother – Sarah – he felt devastated and lost. Everything went dark, and his inward was filled with grieve and darkness. It seems like there was no way out and that this kind of suffering would never end. Like an endless horrible nightmare. "I tried to…. I was so fast" "I know. I know" Steve shook his head. "Don't do this to yourself, Buck. She is not dead, not yet, right?" "No" Bucky freed himself from the hug and ran stressed through his hair. "When – When I got her here, she was breathing, and they said she still has a heartbeat. I told them I would wait here, but they didn't come out of the surgery room since then. If she were dead, they would have told me, right? Right?!" "Yes," Peggy nodded her head calmly. She didn't know if that was true, but Bucky was on the edge of a mental breakdown. Steve looked over the shoulder and looked thankful to Peggy. "We will stay here and wait. We wait until we got news about her condition" he padded his shoulder and offered Bucky to sit down again. Peggy and Steve sat next to him, one at each side. He was so nervous and tensed – Steve never saw him like this. "I-I-"Bucky started to say something and shook his head. He needed to talk about something; he couldn't stand the silence with all the noises around him hammer down on his head all the time. So he needed to distract his brain from going crazy. "We had a talk in the morning before she went down to Starks Bunker for her weapon ---- Rebecca will move from our parent's flat, so I ask her if she would like to move in instead. You should have seen her, looked at me shocked like a deer in headlights" he smiled tiredly. "Did I ask too soon?" he turned his head towards Peggy. "Well… depending on how far you are in your accord?" "I-I don't know, actually. I never knew what was going on inside her head. She was always very devious with her thoughts and behaviors. Did you know-" he smiled when he was thinking back. "That when I first kissed her, she slapped me in the face? Two times! And, bruised my nose and rips" "That's sound like Claw" Steve needed to smile too, he could image that lively, how she did that. She was fiery and sultry when she wanted it, even if she tried her best to be cold and distanced. When you knew her better and longer, you could see how her real- self come through. She was like a fire; you could easily get burned if you get her on the wrong foot, but – if you did it right – was full of warmth and beauty. "God, I really felt for her. Even when he tried to kill me multiple times" "Did she?" Peggy asked, and both guys needed to laugh a little bit. "She did. She throws every possible office equipment after me – hehe – she is really something special. Very special… rare! I got a rare gem," and fast, his glance went from happily reminiscing to an unfortunate reality. "No – don't even think about it," Steve could see, which ugly thought came across his mind and wanted to hinder him from overthinking about it. Bucky wanted to say something when the Colonel came back and stood in front of the tree. Altogether, they stood up and looked, waiting for news. He took a deep breath and started explaining. "She will get better soon. Nothing permanent or serious, just an enormous loss of blood, which will be recovered in a few days. She was Lucky" he took another deep breath and looked straight at Bucky and wanted to say something, but closed his mouth and thought about it again. "All tree if you look horrible, especially you, Barnes! Nevertheless, someone needs to stay here overnight if the intruders' allies will come back to finish it. I will go back to the base and check what they were trying to steal, and the Sergeant will stay here with my niece" then he just turned around and was about to leave the hospital and leave behind surprised people. "Well…" after a few moments, Peggy broke the silence and turned towards Bucky. "You should go then, and we both will see if we can help the Colonel. Steve? Let's got" "Alright," he nodded and looked smiling at Bucky. "See, everything turned out fine. She will be okay soon, so go to see her," and then, Steve and Peggy left the hospital too.

When you awoke, you were in the hospital. You could quickly tell, by the scent of antiseptics, the sad white and sterile walls, and not least of the noises the room makes. The monotonic beep of the mechanicals next to her and the Nurses calling for doctors and medicaments on the floor. You could not remember much, your memories were pretty blurry, but you knew that someone shoots at you and got you. You needed to blink a few times because the room was pretty light. You felt pressure and soft stroking movements at your hand and underarm, so you tried to move your head a little bit to see who it was. As soon as you saw the short brown hair, you knew it was Bucky.

"Hey," your voice was thin, flat, and scratchy, and as soon as Bucky heard it, he raised his head. Man – this guy looks tired and pale like a poltergeist. "I don't have a mirror ---- but ---- I think I look better than you" "Well-" he smiled exhausted, "I aged 10 years since I am in this hospital" "You did?" you tried to smile too, but you were tired yourself. "I am a shadow of myself – the doc's said that you will be good in a few days. You just lost a lot of blood, but no organ was badly harmed" "Blessing in disguise, I guess?" "Yes, something like that" Bucky took a deep, deep breath, and it looked as if the weight of the world would fall off his shoulders. Then – slowly – their last conversation came across her mind. Nearly dying made a lot of things easier and faster to decide. "Hey Buck," you squeezed his hand back. "Hm?" "After the War… help me to sell the house of my father, I guess I will not need it anymore" he knit his eyebrows and needed a few moments, until he realized what she was saying, a big bright smile on his lips. "I will," he needed. He would clasp her under different circumstances, but maybe this is not the right moment for doing so.

Your wound healed perfectly, and you were soon able to work a little bit out. Certainly, Bucky begs you not to overdo it, but you know where your limits were. You could do the paperwork and file on the capturing Plan for Zola. You got new information's regarding him and his whereabouts. Still, it was Tricky to get him there because he would be in the Austrian Alps. As far as you know, there was just one transportation device, which would pass through the alps and that was a train. If you don't know, jumping on a train at full speed was indeed a tricky thing but the best way you could do it. The time slot was tiny, so just a few people could do that and were actually able to do that. Sadly, Bucky and Steve were pretty at the top of this list because they have both extraordinary physical skills. To be honest? You didn't want Bucky to go there, you had a bad feeling about it, and you could always trust your feeling.

This mission was different because it was more dangerous than usual. You had a long and detailed meeting with the guys about it and how they should do it. It was really a matter of small details because if they miss just one thing, that could mean they will die. And after the meeting, nobody was in a good mood. Everybody was somehow severe and lost in their thoughts. The fact that nobody felt right about this one was a massive elephant in the room. Seriously, everybody thought it was a stupid idea. Even your uncle asked the guys if they want to let that opportunity pass. It was a mission, but no mission was it worth do die – at least when it comes down to your opinion. There would be another chance to capture Zola, so it was legitimate to let this one pass. But you know what? This Unit was filled with stupid apes! Of course, they wanted to do it. Just this one time – this ONE TIME – you wished Bucky would be less brave and just stay in the base, but of course, he couldn't let Steve go alone. Well, you wanted Steve to stay too! These were your Boys, your little family; you couldn't lose them! Accordingly to that, you and Bucky were pretty speechless during the night. You wanted to say something like you always do. Poke him, annoy him, tease him, or something else, but you didn't feel in the mood for it. Same for him. Usually, he would say something funny to raise your spirits, but even now, he couldn't say something, so you two just laid there in silence and stared into the darkroom.

It must have been a couple hours, but you finally find your voice, to say at least something. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?" your voice was soft, a little bit shaky, and he could he hear a few cracks in it. "Promised," but you could say that based on his voice, he couldn't. He just said it to calm you, but it didn't work.

"Sergeant Barnes, fall of the train! Bucky is… is gone!"

A few years later…

Over a year later, after the war was won, you found Peggy standing in front of Steve's grave. You didn't saw her for a few years, but you heard she works in a police station – or something like that. You, for yourself, didn't do much. You still worked in the Army with your uncle, but you went here every once in a while. To visit Bucky and Steve and today, Peggy, keep your company.

"Hey" – "H-Hey" Peggy whipped the tears away and shook her head a few times. She was standing in front of the grave of Steve Rogers, alias Captain America. It was a massive light stone with golden letters. Many people left flowers behind, stuffed animals, cards, and different things. They still do this when the anniversary of Steve's death was coming near. They knew the war was won because of what he and the Howling commando did, so they wanted to tribute the fallen Hero. Next to Steve's grave was Bucky's. The stone was a little bit smaller but as beautiful as Steve's was. You and Peggy agreed that these two idiots needed to be buried next to each other, even though you had no corpse to bury. "H-How are you?" she asked you, but you just shook your head. It's been a while since the war, but you still weren't right. "Devastated. Still but I am working on it. You?" "Working on it," she answered and took a deep breath. And then you two were just standing there and staring at these stones in silence. Bucky and Steve shared a special bond, and you can tell it was a strong one. And now? You and Peggy shared a similar bind, created by the pain of the same loss. "I hate my work" Peggy started to say something. "Full of man how didn't take me seriously, and I have to operate in the shadows. I don't mind the shadows, but I don't think I am doing something meaningful! I own Steve to try to protect the world he saved with his life! Or, don't I?" she asked you. Well, you couldn't answer that, not for her or for yourself. But the way she said it sounds like a plan. Like she already had something in mind to do something against that. "What you mean?" "I-I-" she stopped and took another deep breath before she explained her vision to you. She wanted to create an organization to protect the whole world. An institution filled with skilled people from anywhere possible, who come together to save humankind from any kind of danger. She said that Stark liked that idea and was already in, but she needed more people to make it work. Howard would take care of the equipment, but she required Agents and Spy. And she would prefer people she already worked with from war, so she meant you. "and how is that called? This Group? The Fanatic's?" you joked about, but Peggy just shook her head. She didn't have a name either, but it needed to be something catchy. "But would you join and help me?" "Yes," you didn't think long about it. What else should you do? And you liked Peggy and enjoyed working with her. "But we need a good name" "You don't say" she rolled with her eyes and seemed to think about it. "Maybe something like –"Peggy wanted to say something but broke up with her sentence. Apparently, she hadn't a good idea. She wanted something to remember Steve and honor him, but she didn't found a good acronym. You thought about it too, for a while until something catches your eye. Over Steve's name in the gravestone, there was a little symbol. To simplify it, it was his Shield he chooses as his weapon. Funny enough that he wanted to have a tool of protection as his weapon. It was his symbol, his signature to have this Shield with him, and that when it comes to your mind. "S.H.I.E.L.D – Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics" "A long name," she commented. "But it's fitting" "Well…. Yeah. Shield" "With a memorial wall in the main base" "Memorial wall?" "For all the fallen soldiers. To honor them," you said, and Peggy nodded as she looked down on the two Stones next to each other. "Agent Barnes and Agent Rogers will be the first names on it. Because I know they would have joined Shield" "They would," you nodded and smiled, while you softly remember Bucky's and Steve's smile.

[erisbaek]

Stucky Fic Rec [Part One]

So I decided to split the fic recs up into parts because they will be too long otherwise. In each part I will link the Google Doc that I am typing them up in, which is where I will constantly update as I read.  Within these fic recs, they’re mostly my preferences, so very few (if any) Shrinkyclinks, and ABO fics will be within them, as well as shorter fics, since I actively seek fics out that are longer than 10k (and completed)!!

The Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10wqr5s-CzkFzLidQgt-y4-cjudHWwVeVPWCedMjK7t0/edit?usp=sharing

The first part is formatted under the cut, if you’d prefer to stay out of the doc!

Lightning in a Bottle 

    Word Count: 63k     Rating: Explicit     Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Road Trip!AU, Angst with Happy Ending     Warnings: Smut, Smoking     Synopsis: The problem, Steve thinks, isn’t so much his motorcycle giving up the ghost on a lonely stretch of highway through a lonely stretch of the country. He doesn’t mind stretching his legs or the prospect of hitchhiking. The problem is the roiling black blanket of storm clouds slowly spreading itself over the landscape headed his direction… Steve Rogers is looking to hitch on a highway abandoned by everyone smart enough to avoid a looming storm. Bucky Barnes is the professional storm chaser who offers him a ride.

It gets more complicated from there.

Perspective and Truth

        Word Count: 16.7k          Rating: Teen and Up         Notable Tags: Bodyswap!AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort        Warnings: None        Synopsis: Bucky and Steve end up swapping bodies and learning a lot more about each other in the process

Carbs and Conversations

         Word Count: 48k          Rating: Teen and Up          Notable Tags: Hockey!AU, No Powers          Warnings: None          Synopsis: Bucky was just looking for a chance. A chance to get on the ice and play. A chance to escape from Hydra. A chance to redeem himself. He didn't include 'A chance to be friends with Steve Rogers' on the list. That would be ridiculous. Lucky for him, Steve seemed determined to be ridiculous.

So Loud and So Clear

           Word Count: 26.6k            Rating: Mature            Notable Tags: Get Together, Slow Build            Warnings: None           Synopsis: Bucky had been careful, after all, leaving no trace of his comings and goings. It was horrendously disappointing to know that Rogers had found him. Bucky was a lot better than getting caught by a guy who wore the American flag as a onesie. He just really was. “Don’t you – Bucky – Bucky,” Rogers started, and to Bucky’s growing horror, it looked like Rogers was on the verge of some type of emotional eclipse. Anger, sadness, something, and Bucky wanted nothing to do with it. “Hate to break it to you, bud, but I don’t remember ever living here and I don’t remember you.”

A Loyal Viewer 

           Word Count: 36.1k            Rating: Explicit             Notable Tags: Camboy!Steve, Punk!Bucky, No Powers, Long Distance            Relationship            Warnings: Smut            Synopsis: At almost exactly eight thirty in the evening, Steve settles on the bed before his camera and the computer. He signs into his account on Chaturbate and clicks the button that starts his stream.

In My Conditions, Love’s the Best Physician

             Word Count: 9.1k              Rating: Not Rated              Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Pharmacist!Bucky, Russian!Bucky              Warnings: None              Synopsis: ”This situation is a little more delicate because I don't even know if he speaks English and I'm tired of going down to the pharmacy for constipation medication and allergy pills when I haven't sneezed since 1941.” Steve shouts. The room falls silent, and he turns back around to find four pairs of stunned eyes watching him. Tony, as always, speaks first. “He?” - Or the one where Bucky is a hot pharmacist and Steve keeps making up bullshit reasons to go see him.

Rare Is This Love (Keep It Covered) 

               Word Count: 66.7k                Rating: Explicit                 Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Mechanic!Bucky, Slow Burn                Warnings: Smut, Canonical Character Death                Synopsis: It's 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

Looking For A Place To Hide

                Word Count: 33.3k                 Rating: Explicit                 Notable Tags: Endgame Fix-It, 2012!Steve                 Warnings: Smut                 Synopsis:  It's 2012 and all Steve knows is that another version of himself said Bucky is alive. Steve will do anything to get his friend back, even if it means time traveling to 2023. He expects Bucky to be happy to see him, but instead he's wary, hurt. Turns out his Steve had left him for Peggy. How? Why? Steve can't believe it. Now he'll have to find a way to make sense of it all, and convince Bucky that it's the two of them to the end of the line.

The Wolf and the Sheep

               Word Count: 50.5k                Rating: Teen and Up                Notable Tags: Shield Agent!Steve, Winter Soldier!Bucky                 Warnings: None                Synopsis: Steve Rogers is a SHIELD agent who is recruited for a secret project: Becoming a handler for the Asset. Steve’s world is thrown for a loop when he discovers the Asset is an actual person and he needs to figure out who he is and what he’s going to do.

All Those Little Pieces

                 Word Count: 40.5k                  Rating: Mature                  Notable Tags: Alternating POV, Post CATW                  Warnings: Smut, Panic Attacks                  Synopsis: Steve has never forgotten Bucky Barnes. Not their childhood together, not the horror of the moment Bucky fell too far for him to reach, and not the way he's loved him all the while. Bucky has forgotten everything about Steve, at least at first. But there's still a feeling there, warm in his chest—and maybe now that he's found his way back to Steve Rogers and his sunny apartment, there's a chance it might turn into something more.

My Dear

                   Word Count: 29.9k                    Rating: Explicit                     Notable Tags: Post CATWS, Recovery                    Warnings: Smut                    Synopsis: The Soldier stares down at the floor, breathing hard through his nose. “And you still wanna fix me,” he says. Steve shakes his head. “There’s nothing to fix, Buck. I just want to bring you home.”

Living On My Own

                    Word Count: 26.1k                     Rating: Mature                     Notable Tags: Vigilante!Bucky                      Warnings: Blood and Gore                     Synopsis: James Barnes is back in the world and finds that not only has there been 1) an alien invasion, but 2) Howard Stark had a kid. One that dispenses unsolicited life advice, no less. Oh, and 3) Captain America is alive again, after getting himself killed by his own recklessness in a move so stupid only Steve could have come up with it. In which James learns to do laundry, turns into an accidental neighborhood vigilante and makes Tony Stark a happy grease monkey, all while he figures out where to stake his claim.

Chase the Lighting From the Sky

                      Word Count: 39.4k                       Rating: Explicit                        Notable Tags: No Powers, Age Gap, Farm!AU                        Warnings: Smut, Past Character Death, Animal Death                       Synopsis: If Bucky has to be stuck doing this ridiculous summer work program before his senior year of college, on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, then at least he’s got a hot as hell cowboy for a boss and host. Steve Rogers, owner of the Truth & Justice Ranch, is what Bucky’s completely theoretical but very imaginative bisexual fantasies are made of. Steve’s a widower though, and a nice guy in need of help, and no doubt 100% straight… so Bucky’s gonna work his ass off and keep his head down. But neither Bucky nor Steve are prepared for the friendship that forms between them as they work side by side. And they certainly aren’t expecting the budding feelings, confessions, and passions that summer heat and the loneliness of the great open plains stirs in each of them. What rages to life between them will shake each man to his core and will linger long after the storms and the summer have passed.

Cinder and Smoke

                       Word Count: 51.7k                        Rating: Explicit                        Notable Tags: Sheriff!Steve, Blacksmith!Bucky, Old Western                        Warnings: Smut, Period-Typical Homophobia, OC Death                        Synopsis: “They say there’s no law in Parasapa. Is that true?”

Art Thief, Heart Thief

                       Word Count: 58.8k                        Rating: Mature                        Notable Tags: FBI!Steve, Thief!Bucky Barnes                        Warnings: Smut                        Synopsis: Agent Steve Rogers is facing a series of art thefts that has him stumped, and looking for a break in the case. Convicted art thief and general high end criminal Bucky Barnes wants to make parole and happens to know all of the right people who could make Steve's job easier. So they strike a deal, mutually beneficial and entirely business. But a few days undercover, an undeniable growing chemistry, and some ill-timed Feelings entering the mix, and all bets are off.

Laws of Thermodynamics 

                       Word Count: 14.6k                        Rating: Explicit                         Notable Tags: Post CATWS, Recovery                         Warnings: Smut                        Synopsis: He never had to relearn how to love Steve Rogers. It might be the one thing he never forgot.

Abstract Art

                       Word Count: 26.6k                        Rating: Teen and Up                        Notable Tags: Friends to Lovers, Artist!Steve, Ex Sniper!Bucky                        Warnings: None                        Synopsis: They survive almost a year of torture together, cells side by side, banter and teasing and stories. They keep each other alive. Then everything changes. They tell Bucky that Rogers's been killed. He tries to piece his life together, to move on. Steve owns an art store. He's given up looking. It's over. Except it's really not.

We Discovered Gold

                       Word Count: 18.7k                        Rating: Explicit                        Notable Tags: Post CACW, Fix-It, Wakanda                         Warnings: Smut                        Synopsis: “So you got these safe houses scattered all over Russia?” Steve jokes into the soft hair over Bucky's temple, not pulling away, “Or did we just get lucky?” Bucky shakes his head and then replies, “Got myself a few. It’s been a long two years.” “Yeah pal,” Steve nods, burrowing further, “I hear that.”

Never Mind to Hold 

                      Word Count: 21.6k                       Rating: Mature                       Notable Tags: Soulmate!AU, Not CACW Compliant, Soulmarks                       Warnings: Brief Suicidal Ideation                       Synopsis: Steve didn't know the name of Bucky's soulmate. He wasn't even sure when it had appeared across Bucky's heart. But Steve knew it wasn't his name hidden under that patch.

Where There’s Smoke 

                      Word Count: 95.1k                       Rating: Explicit                        Notable Tags: Firefighter!AU                       Warnings: Smut                       Synopsis: Steve is a Brooklyn firefighter who is about to be saddled with a new, rookie crewmate. James Barnes is that rookie, just looking for a fresh start at a new station. Steve's friends think they know what's best for him...start dating his new crewmate. Steve thinks they're crazy...or possibly right. But events from James's recent past may pose a threat to any designs they have on each other.

Let Them Eat Cake

                    Word Count: 31k                     Rating: Explicit                      Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Pastry Chef!Steve, Sommelier!Bucky                     Warnings: Smut, Drug Use                     Synopsis: Steve picked up the piping bag and returned to the ramekins. Bucky left, though not without shooting one last look at Steve's wide back. Bucky could already tell Steve Rogers was trouble, not even counting the near-religious experiences he inspired among the staff. It wasn’t that Bucky didn’t appreciate him as well; he did. He just tended to appreciate people he found attractive from afar, because explaining the metal arm was hard, and because he didn’t really know how to handle letting someone in close. But that wasn’t why Steve was trouble, not really. Bucky wanted to know why their new pastry chef had gun calluses on his right hand.

Adrenalize Me 

                  Word Count: 58.5k                   Rating: Explicit                    Notable Tags: Vampire!Steve                   Warnings: Smut, Blood                   Synopsis: Leaning against the side of a wall, taking an indolent drag of a cigarette, there he stood. Watching Bucky with an inscrutable gaze. Staring at Bucky for long seconds, the blond seemed to consider him before breaking the silence. “You know, nice guy like you walking alone at this hour – people might think you were looking for trouble.” Trying not to shudder at the sound of that voice, which wrapped around him like smoke, Bucky managed a smirk, lifted a brow. “Well, if I was, it looks like I found it.” Two strangers meet in a dark club. One just happens to be a vampire.

The Change in Us 

                 Word Count: 23.4k                  Rating: Explicit                  Notable Tags: N/A                  Warnings: Smut                  Synopsis: “I’ve found your BFF,” Stark says without preamble. “My… what?” “James Barnes. Winter Soldier. Bucky. I don’t know, I don’t care, but right now he’s perched on the roof of the next building with a gun on me, and it’s not so much my idea of a relaxing afternoon, so could you get down here?” Steve hangs up and starts running.

Things That Go Bump in the Night

                  Word Count: 38.2k                   Rating: Explicit                   Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Ex Army!Bucky                   Warnings: Minor Smut                    Synopsis: Many an odd critter and item have ended up on the front porch of the property Bucky house-sits in the Middle Of Nowhere, but a bleeding blond man is a first. A short inspection reveals the man to be none other than Steve Rogers; ex-Captain America, vigilante, and a wanted fugitive. Steve’s stay of a few days of recovery is prolonged, under instructions for him to lie low until the Avengers can sort out the mess that has become the Sokovia Accords. Bucky is pretty sure that he’s committing an act of treason by providing Steve a place to stay. He is also pretty sure that lengthy interaction with Steve makes one prone to impending headaches and possibly ulcers. And he is certain that he is, very assuredly, in danger of falling in love with Steve.

The Soldier’s Revenge

                 Word Count: 76.4k                  Rating: Explicit                   Notable Tags: Canon Divergence, Enemies To Lovers, Slow Burn                  Warnings: Smut                  Synopsis: Bucky Barnes turns himself in to SHIELD two years after dragging Captain America out of the Potomac River. He was deprogrammed in Wakanda and has been hunting down Hydra ever since, but he needs help if he wants to take proper revenge on his captors. He turns to his old enemies: SHIELD and the Avengers, but it'll take more than a few words to win their trust after the Winter Soldier brought SHIELD to its knees not long before. Now at SHIELD's mercy, the only thing that stands between Bucky and his revenge is the approval of Captain Rogers: a self-righteous asshole that Bucky barely knows.

The Best Way to Wake

                  Word Count: 42.2k                   Rating: Explicit                   Notable Tags: Canon Divergence, Slow Burn                   Warnings: Smut                   Synopsis: James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Wait, Captain!” “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something. “Captain, we need to keep him in stasis—“ “I said get him out!” In which Bucky Barnes lay frozen in the Alps for seventy years only to be woken up a year after Steve Rogers was uncovered from the Arctic.

Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark

                    Word Count: 89.5k                     Rating: Explicit                      Notable Tags: Age Difference, CIA!Steve, Barista!Bucky, Sugar                            Daddy!Steve                     Warnings: Smut                     Synopsis: Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school and is working on his international relations masters. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth. So how does one get a date in the most top secret government location in the US? What happens when that guy is more than just a hot dorito and wants to give Bucky everything he wants? Bucky is going to have to figure out his shit and fast. That's what's up.

Laughter Lines

                   Word Count: 100.2k                    Rating: Mature                    Notable Tags: Bodyguard!AU, Slow Burn                    Warnings: None                    Synopsis: Bucky Barnes is a rising Hollywood star with a tragic past and a reputation for driving his bodyguards away. Steve Rogers is a veteran with the same tragic past and the need to get back out in the world. The two of them have been estranged since they were teenagers, so when Steve joins SHIELD as a bodyguard, he is less than thrilled when he finds out that Bucky is his first assignment. But how bad can it be? They're both professional adults, right?Wrong.

From Hydra with Love

                   Word Count: 21.2k                    Rating: Mature                    Notable Tags: Spies!Steve and Bucky                    Warnings: Smut                    Synopsis: Captain Steve Rogers is one of the best spies in the world - a marksman, a martial artist, an expert in strategy and tactics. There's not a lot he can't handle. Heck, he's even saved the world once or twice. So why does every run in with the mysterious Winter Soldier leave him feeling like the Bond Girl?

Goddamn Electric

                Word Count: 67.8k                 Rating: Explicit                 Notable Tags: Bodyguard!Steve, Musician!Bucky                 Warnings: Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Smut                 Synopsis: Steve Rogers works for a discreet private security company and gets assigned to James Barnes, a musician who takes the idea of 'sex, drugs & rock 'n roll' just a little too seriously.

There Was Something About Steve Rogers

                Word Count: 46.7k                 Rating: Explicit                 Notable Tags: Post CATWS                 Warnings: Smut, Panic Attacks                 Synopsis: The Winter Soldier knows Steve Rogers has deep feelings for Bucky Barnes, and decides that he can use that to his advantage to gain protection from the Hydra agents still trying to find him. What he didn't bargain for was actually starting to care about the man they call Captain America, or the strength of Bucky Barnes' memories as they begin to resurface.

Through the Mist

                Word Count: 14.5k                 Rating: Teen and Up                 Notable Tags: Soulmate!AU, Post CATWS                 Warnings: None                 Synopsis: He usually kept it covered. Whether it be with long sleeves, a cuff of some sort, or make up Natasha skillfully showed him how to apply. He didn’t cover it up because he was ashamed or because he was one of those people who didn’t like others knowing who his soulmate was- no. He covered it up out of respect. Respect for his fallen partner, and respect for himself because he knew looking at those swoopy lines of James B. Barnes on his wrist always made him crumble like his legs were kicked down. When he crashed into the ice all those years ago he thought he was going to see Bucky again- he thought he was finally going to be with Bucky without people giving them ugly looks and throwing slurs their way. He thought he was going to be happy again.

Take Me Home 

              Word Count: 78.1k               Rating: Mature               Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Veteran!Bucky               Warnings: Smut, Torture, Referenced Suicide               Synopsis: “I’m so sorry, I’m gonna help you I promise, just don’t move, fuck, I ran over Captain America–” the man apologized, over and over, and all Steve managed to say was, “You’re really attractive,” before passing out on the guy’s lap in the middle of the road.

Where the Circle Ends

               Word Count: 29.8k                Rating: Mature                Notable Tags: Zombie Apocalypse!AU                 Warnings: Smut, Gore                Synopsis: In which the world has gone to hell in a zombie apocalypse handbasket and, in the middle of it all, Steve finds the one person he never thought he'd see again. Angst and feelings (amongst other things) ensue.

Our Souls (They Were Made to Last) 

               Word Count: 53.8k                Rating: Mature                Notable Tags: No Powers, Veteran!Steve, Doctor!Bucky, Ghost!Bucky                Warnings: None                Synopsis: Dr. James Barnes is too busy saving lives to actually have one of his own. When he finally agrees to go on a blind date, he gets into an accident that will change his life forever. Retired Army Captain Steve Rogers is depressed, and when he moves into his new apartment he finds it already occupied....with the ghost of its last tenant. To make matters worse, the ghost is adamant that he's not dead. As they navigate their way through their new living arrangements, can they save each other, before it’s too late? Or have they missed their one shot at a happy ending?

By Any Other Name

                 Word Count: 36.9k                  Rating: Explicit                  Notable Tags: Assassins and Hitmen!AU, Spies and Agents!AU                  Warning: Smut                 Synopsis: Steve was a good spy. It turned out one good spy didn't stand a chance against a rival security firm, a contract killer, and his own heart.

#stucky #stucky fic rec #stucky fic #stevebucky #stevebucky fic #starbucks #wintershield #steve rogers #james barnes #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #captain america #marvel