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#something for future me to enjoy! as a treat <3
unluckiestmember · 5 months
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can I get the main characters of blue eye samurai with a innocent fem reader? I loved your Arcane innocent reader <3
Coming right up!
Blue Eye Samurai X Innocent Fem! Reader
Characters: Mizu, Taigen, Ringo and Ito Akemi
Tags: Friends to lovers, workers to lovers, brothel, overprotective boyfriend/girlfriend, yandere themes, Ringo being Ringo, fluff, toxic(?) and open ending.
Warning: SFW
A/N: I'm so happy Blue Eye Samurai is getting the recognition it deserves! Who would you date? I'd get with Mizu or Taigen.
Mizu
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“The stars are out tonight?... I can barely see them… It’s okay. At least I can see you… You’re beautiful…”
At first, Mizu found you to be as annoying like Ringo. You weren’t as annoying, but it was infuriating to travel with someone who was so fragile and couldn’t even defend themselves. She was surprised that with your demeanor you weren’t in a brothel or married to the next idiot of a samurai. She kept you at a distance, arm's length. But someway. Somehow. You slithered into her good graces and touched her heart.
When you two became a couple, Mizu began to treat you like a porcelain doll. If a man tried to touch you, their hand would be severed from their body in seconds. If someone bad-mouthed you, their tongue was cut out. Suddenly, you found yourself becoming a precious jewel to Mizu instead of a nuisance. During down time, she always checks up on you to see if you’re okay. Expect her to check if you have a temperature, if you’re hungry or thirsty. She wished deep down she could give up her mission to live a perfect life with you because that’s what you deserve. But promising such a thing is hard. At least for now, she has you and she will savor the time you both have together.
Taigen
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“That was pretty cool, huh? You know I can teach you a thing or two if you say please… Haha! You’re cute when you pout!”
Unlike Mizu, Taigen found you to be a breath of fresh air on his journey to assist Mizu. He enjoyed how you were so pure in a world that was getting colder by the day. For a second, he was fearful of pursuing anything with you because of his relation to Akemi. But as the days went by and word started spreading fast of his lover’s affairs, the more Taigen lost hope in any future he could have with her. However, he gained hope in a future painted for you two.
Taigen is a mix of a man child and an amazing boyfriend when you two become a couple. He will tease you whenever you are being cute unintentionally or when you mess up doing something. It’s only because he loves your reactions to his commentary. He will also teach you how to protect yourself, preferably with a dagger. If you master using one, he’ll have you use a sword, but even then he’ll be a bit concerned it’s too much for you. On the battlefield, if he’s not showing off and winking at you after every kill, he’s quick to protect you from any harm. Let’s admit it. Taigen can be a pain in the ass. But he’s a great boyfriend.
Ringo
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“You really think I can be a great samurai?! Then I’m going to train hard for both of us- I’ll be the greatest samurai for me and you!”
Ringo is a sweetheart. He didn’t expect to go on this journey to end up with a girlfriend, so when he scored one with you, you can imagine his surprise. He didn’t think much at first admittedly, but the more you kissed his cheek, nuzzled into his body on cold nights and threw him words of endearment, the more it settled. And boy did he adore having the title of being your amazing boyfriend!
With someone now to take care of, Ringo pushes himself to be an amazing samurai. He’s more persistent with his master to teach him how to use a sword and possess honor. He’ll even go as far as to ask Taigen to assist him if he can! Whenever he learns something new, he’s excitedly telling you all about it. If he finds anything interesting, he’s grabbing you gently to share it with you. If you’re looking for a ball of sunshine who’s both your friend and partner, look no further than Ringo.
Ito Akemi
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“My darling. We will make our own path, away from this prejudice, these men- Everything that’s ever hurt us. That’s ever hurt you… You will never be hurt again. I swear it.”
Akemi knows all too well how it feels to be used and thrown away for your body if not your status. So when she met you at the brothel, she immediately clicked with you. She found your personality to be contagious along with your laughter. She spent every moment staring into your eyes filled with life, gently caressing your smooth skin just to make sure you were still there with her in this hell. You were the most beautiful flower she’s ever seen. You were a flower she couldn’t afford to be tainted.
She didn’t know why she fell for a woman or if it was a curse, but she loved you. She loved you enough to run away and spend as much life as she could with you until she was found by her father. But even then, nothing could hold her down. She was a princess who laid eyes on a commoner she wanted. That she needed. And no one would get in her way of having them. Of having you. She would destroy everything and bathe Japan in flames if it meant she could keep you in her warm embrace. She’d turn everyone into her enemy if you could be her lover. She’d be the villain if you were her savior… And that’s exactly what she was going to do.
If you got any requests for Blue Eye Samurai, send them my way!
Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3
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st4rtar0t · 11 days
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Your love story and the movie it resembles
With your future partner
ever wondered how would your love story be with your future spouse? and what movie would it be similar to? I will be honest as someone who romanticizes love this question as kept me awake on many nights and has made me daydream a lot. SO as a result I have decided to make a pac on this topic. I hope you enjoy this reading and support my blog so that I can come up with more interesting pick a cards.
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These pictures belong to their rightful owners.
please like and reblog, I worked hard on this one
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Picture 1
Okay so as soon as i started this reading i got the message that most people who chose this picture may not have had an actual relationship in a sense that you might have felt as if something was always lacking or you may not have been treated right in a relationship. And i do see that you have a unexplainable fear that maybe the person you will fall in love with wont fall for you? or you may doubt their affection for you as you seem to have severe trust issues. You may be the kind of person who doubts love but is also dreaming about it. you may show as if you don't believe in love or that money matters more for you but you know deep down that is not true.
I also sense that this group is divided into two subgroups as this group seem to have two similar yet different love stories.
group one : you guys may be a Virgo, cancer or Sagittarius sun moon or rising. You guys can have medium to short curly hair. you may have a mole on your arm or right shoulder. You may have a small friend group consisting 3-4 people including you. one of your friends can be of different race or religion. Some of you may be in high school or 1st-2nd year of collage. Pumpkin and grapes may be significant for you.
your love story : There may be a sense of "saving the other" in your love story. you know how a person is suffering and the other person comes into their life and saves them that is the vibe that I am getting from your love story. Your future spouse may enter you life when you will be dire need of help or when you will be suffering or vice versa. You may be the damsel in distress, but i see that You wont ask your future spouse for help intentionally. You are someone who wont ask for help no matter how much they are suffering and your future spouse is someone who WANTS to help other no matter what but they have been used by a lot of people because of this. They are well aware of the fact that people only approach them because of their personal benefit and this makes them quite upset. But but but i also sense that they would want to help not financially but emotionally. They would want to help you with everything they can and this may be the one of the majors reasons why you will fall for them. They will help you find purpose in your life again. They will make you fall in love with life.
SO the movie that resembles your love story is EK VILLAIN. This is an Indian movie and I would suggest you to watch it. i wont spoil it for you if you have not watched it yet, but leave out the parts that don't resonate with you.
Group two : You guys can be a Taurus, Leo or Aries sun moon or rising. you may have a mole of your back or on one side of your neck. You guys may have long dark hair or dark brown hair that reaches past your armpits. You may have a fear of lizards or any kind of reptile. i sense that some of you may be studying business or you plan to start you own soon? You may have gold jewellery that you wear regularly.
Your love story : As I said earlier both these groups will have a similar yet different love story and the sense of "saving the other" is also present in this group but the only difference is that you will be the one who will save your future spouse/partner. They may be really popular or into music because i see that they have a good singing voice. You guys can also work in the same field or profession. I see that you guys will encourage them to give their best when they may feel low or when they may doubt themselves. I see that you will be their biggest supporter and this will make them fall deeper for you. They will admire how passionate you are about what you do. If you are in a creative field, they may use you as their muse. I also sense that they will be writing songs and poems for you because they seem to have a talent for writing. You guys will work together and earn a lot of money and fame.
So the movie that resembles your love story is AASHIQUI 2. This movies was released in 2013.
Noticed how the actress in both the movies is same? so you may have something in common with her.
Masterlist PAID SERVICES
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Picture 2
This is the group of misunderstood people lol. I see that people always try to find flaws in you or blame you for the things that have nothing to do with you. But i also sense that you someone who jumps into conclusions and overthinks their situation. Things may not be as they appear. You are someone who has lost a lot of people that were close to you and you don't want to go through the same pain again, so as a result you have put a wall between you and other. And now you don't care if people misunderstand you or spread rumours about you. I also sense that you are independent, you don't like asking anyone for help, You would rather do the things by yourself than ask for help.
Okay so for the people who chose this picture I see that and your future partner may not have a good first impression of each other or there may be some past experiences that you both share that are not so ideal. Or you guys may meet in an environment that is not to ideal for a first meeting? but whatever it may be I sense that you guys will remember your first meeting and laugh out loud.
Do you guys have a one sided love story or have you ever been in this situation? because I see that most of you have liked somebody who already had a girlfriend/boyfriend or somebody they were talking to OR I see that you had a huge crush on one of your friends and he/she were already into somebody so you thought is would be better to forget them.
I am getting friends to strangers to friends to lovers. Its really complex and complicated. But yes it seems as if somebody else was involved in your love story and no I am not talking about third party situation. its more of a "yes I like this person and I am talking to them" from their side and "you are my friend and I like you but wont tell you because you like somebody else so I wont tell you" OR "yes I like you but wont tell you because I don't want to ruin our friendship" from your side. But I sense that they will realise their feelings a lot later and when you wont be talking to them. I also sense that you may move away from them to forget them or you may even move to another country for job or education.
But we all know how the universe works in strange ways that you may have never considered. So you will end up meeting them again but in a different way as compared to before. And they will be the one to express their love for you and will do everything to win your heart.
So the movie that resembles your love story is KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI and a little bit of DDLJ. Both these movies have the same acter and actress. But the plot is not same its similar with slightly different storyline.
Masterlist
Picture 3
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Some of you may also be interested in Picture 1
Are you sure you are interested in this love reading? because your energy is telling me otherwise. I am shocked to see you reading this because it seems as you are starting to hate the word love, and honestly I don't think you are at fault because if I was going through the same things that you have been through/are going through, I would hate it too. You have experienced love and I am not talking about romantic love, I am talking about platonic love. The kind of love you are supposed to receive from your family and friends. And now as a result of that, your perception of love is completely messed up.
But I have a good news for you, you have been blessed in money sector of your life and this abundance in money sector will be the love you yearn for. Now you are only focusing on your work and career, you are taking all the required steps to achieve your dreams and goals. And while you are focused on this sector of your life you wont notice how the universe will bless your love life with a partner that will move mountain for you. And the most beautiful thing is, YOU NEVER HAD TO ASK FOR IT. yes there were times when you cried yourself to sleep because you could not feel loved but unknowingly it all made you stronger.
Now lets talk about your love story with your future, So as I have already talked about how you will meet them when you will focusing on yourself and your dreams. And I also see that they will be the first one to fall in love and realise their feelings. And the most interesting thing is they will make all the efforts needed to prove their love for you. They wont approach you with a love offer first and wont shove their feelings into your face as in "Hey i love you, lets get married" no it wont be like that, in fact they will approach with the offer you helping you or being your friend first. They will admire how sweet and caring you are despite the things you have been through, You will fill them with inspiration and hope that there are still nice people in this world who make this world a better place with their existence. They will support you in you work and offer new ideas. Some of you are really intuitive so you will know who person may be or will be. Your future partner will admire the way you handle tough situations and problems thrown your way with ease. You are someone with hard exterior and really soft interior and this will intrigue your future partner as it is really hard to find genuine people with good intentions these days.
You love story gives me the trope of black cat and golden retriever energy with you being the black cat here and them being the golden retriever. Its honestly so cute!! and I am so happy for you guys. You guys deserve the world. okie I think i am getting distracted, so lets get back to the reading, Your love story will be something that will remind people of a fairy-tale.
So the movie/movies that resemble your love story is RAMAIYA VASTAVAIYA 2013 and GHAJINI 2008. Yes as i said this wont resonate 100% with your love story but there will be similarities.
Masterlist
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koolades-world · 3 months
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can u do how the OM brothers would react to a mc who bottles up/masks their emotions? i tend to do this alot due to my autism. sorry for any English mistakes i might have made, it's not my first language.
hi!! yeah, sure thing!
your english is great!! it's better than some of my friend's, be proud of yourself :))
gosh I'm guilty of doing this too so this shouldn't be too hard for me to write lol
Mc who bottles up their emotions
Lucifer
he's guilty of this too honestly since he feels as if he has an image to uphold
he tries not to be too up front about it since he knows that's not really what he would want
takes you to the side at the end of the day and asks you how you're doing
he's there to be there for you, so you can let it all out if you want, and he won't judge or speak a word of it to others
Mammon
he will outright ask you if something is wrong
he can just kind of tell something is up and asks the first chance he gets alone with you
he knows it isn't healthy, and he only wants to help you
let him know how he can help, and if words fail, his arms are open <3
Levi
he handles the situation how he would want someone to treat him
you've never heard him speak so eloquently, yet everything he's saying makes sense
for a while, he keeps you close to him and goes everywhere with you
his actions speak louder than his words after the initial talk
Satan
brews a pot of chamomile tea, and brings you out to the garden to enjoy the nature while you chat
brings you through breathing exercises and helps keep you grounded
honestly great at helping you talk through everything
he lets you know great ways to let off steam, and that even if you didn't want to talk about it in the future, you could work it out by yourself
Asmo
he decides you need a day of self care after learning something might be wrong
that's when he talks to you about it
since you're relaxed, he thinks it might be easy for you guys to talk
don't worry, he'll continue to pamper you afterwards too
Beel
will give you all the hugs you could dream of <3
brings you his favorite snacks from his snack stash so you can eat while you talk
lets you know that even though he might not be a great talker, you can tell him anything and he will listen
he would drop anything just to help you
Belphie
youve never seen him more awake honestly
you never told him, he just kind of figured out somehow
he confronted you one day, and while it was very straightforward, you could tell he meant it
pulls you into his blanket cocoon and just holds you since he wants to let you know he cares
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lilacqiqis · 3 months
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"Darling"
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naruto, kakashi, obito(non massacre), hinata, itachi(non massacre), sasuke, sai
Scenario: getting casually called darling by their crush
A/N: pls send in Naruto reqs I'm starving to write stuff, also finally decided to give characters specific emojis LMAO last post i made i randomly gave them emojis 😭 Writing this at 3 AM sorry if it's ass -mod Lilac
TW: none, GN!reader
more under the cut
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🌱 Naruto isn't used to romantic affection from people, let alone his crush, so his reaction when you call him "darling" is a huge gaping mouth and stuttering as he tries to process what you said
🌱 "W-wait!! Whuh?! Huhhh?!! Whaddja call me?!"
🌱 Whether it's a joke or not he has a dorky smile after as he laughs, the pet name making him feel warm inside. He probably will try and call you a pet name back afterwards, hoping you'll like it just as much as he did.
🌱 Goes to brag to all his friends the next day. "Hey hey! Guess what?! S/O called me DARLING!!" Nobody really cares too much honestly, they think he's overreacting or even lying.
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🌾 A stoic man he is, that Kakashi. Not much can get him flustered, besides reading Icha Icha of course.
🌾 He usually can keep his feelings hidden away from his crush, treating you like any of his other friends, but when you call him darling? Lucky that he's wearing a mask because you'd be able to see the huge blush forming on his face.
🌾 He'd try not to react too much, his eye slightly widening and body tensing up when the word hits him. It felt so... Natural? The pet name came off your tongue so nicely that Kakashi can't help but want to hear it more.
🌾 Wouldn't comment on it, but may bring it up in the future to tease you. Perhaps to get back at them he'll also call you a romantic pet name... Nah, he's too nervous to do that, if he was that bold he'd go and just confess already!
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🌺 Like Naruto, Obito is flabbergasted. He's liked you for gods who knows how long and you can just casually call him that while he becomes a mess just hugging you?
🌺 His head whips towards you so quickly as he stares at you with wide eyes. How is he supposed to react to this?! Does this mean you like him...? Did you even mean this romantically in the first place? Do you call other people that too?!
🌺 His mind is running and he just kinda... Stares at you in awe. Don't let him down by telling him it was just a joke when he questions you later, he'll be devastated.
🌺 Obito will try and be confident, calling you an affectionate pet name as well but all that comes out is stuttering.
🌺 "Heheh... I think so too, s... S-sweet... Sw-sweethEART OKIMGOINGTOGONOWBYES/O"
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🌻 Goes absolutely red. Hinata already gets embarrassed by little gestures so something like getting called darling is sure to make her pass out!
🌻 Did you really mean that? She hopes so! That small name made her day, and she won't ever forget about it<3
🌻 Of course, she's still too shy to admit her feelings to you. If that was your way of confessing you'd be dumb to not see that she obviously likes you too... You'd probably be dumb to not notice her behavior before, after all Hinata isn't very good at hiding her feelings towards you.
🌻 She wouldn't realize it's a confession of your attraction if that was your motive, so please be more blunt with her.
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🌙 If you think he wouldn't remember, he will. Itachi is a romantic individual, though not as much before a relationship. He takes note of everything S/O says, and will try to hint towards his feelings through small actions and words.
🌙 Absolutely loves it. Itachi will think about the pet name, wondering if you'd mind if he called you that as well. Maybe you'd get embarrassed that you're getting a taste of your own medicine? It's not the humiliation part Itachi would enjoy, but he'd love to see your flustered face.
🌙 Doesn't make a huge fuss when you call him darling, probably doesn't even say anything about it, but has a small smile while thinking about it.
🌙 Will begin to also call you pet names!! It depends on how close you are, but if you two are good friends he'll return your affection. You two probably end up having a lot of romantic tension while everybody suffers watching wondering if one of you two will finally confess or not...
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🪻 Sasuke loves hates it. Do NOT call him that cheesy warm and gooey shit, he will scoff at you then turn his head away. jk he just has an ego to protect
🪻 Hates how it makes him feel. That disgusting ticklish feeling he gets in his stomach and the heat in his face makes him feel weak and vulnerable, so stop that. This is just as bad as a genjutsu and he doesn't like it one bit!
🪻 In reality though, Sasuke adores being called darling. He's just... Really bad at dealing with affection you know? He doesn't know how to react and the feeling of love is so foreign to him, so his only way of reacting is acting like he hates it in hopes of ridding his feelings. (Spoiler alert:it doesn't help one bit.)
🪻 You can catch him with a soft blush and tiny smirk on his face if you can catch a glance before he turns his head. Quit being such a loser and just accept it, Sasuke!
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🪶 This was mentioned in his book, so Sai should act accordingly, right? He'll begin to also call you pet names, and he probably already did before you due to the fact he read a book saying he should...
🪶 Doesn't quite understand the meaning behind the sweet names but he's trying his best
🪶 It makes him happy though, being able to connect with you... Someone he enjoys being around so much, someone who he feels he has a "special" bond with.
🪶It creeps into your twos friendship, and before you know it you two are acting like a married couple with all your affectionate behavior.
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venusgirltarot · 6 months
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Dirty Talk & Your Future Spouse (18+) ࿐ ˚ . ✦
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Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.
book a reading with me here
☆ ミ ☆彡
Pile One ࿐
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The way your FS likes to dirty talk really depends on the way you’re behaving. Your FS seems to be someone who’s into BDSM and a sub/dom dynamic. They have one side where they’re very gentle and sort of “talk you through it” telling you how pretty you are and how deserving you are. They’ll tell you how good you’ve been and how good you look. They may like wax play and finishing on you. They’ll tell you how good you look with them all over you. They’ll also be very into spanking and leaving marks on you and part of their dirty talk is telling you how you are theirs and they pen you.
When your behavior isn’t as good to them and they feel you deserve “punishment”, the dirty talk will be very different. They’ll tell you that you deserve all the punishment you’re getting and tell you that you’re going to “get fucked the way you deserve” is what I heard 👀. If they’re a man or have male parts, they’ll want to “fuck your face” and they may tease you with it, as well. Leaving you needing but never giving you what you want. They may tie you up and make you watch them touch themselves and dirty talk to you about how bad they know you want it and etc. Their dirty talk when you’ve been “bad” starts out more aggressive and then they’ll start to tease you more until they give in and let you have what you want. They really like brat taming and “treating you the way you deserve” if that makes sense.
Pile Two ࿐
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Your FS may enjoy pink things. Fuzzy cuffs, lingerie, hair accessories, etc. and they also like silk. The way they dirty talk is very descriptive. They may like to blindfold you and then describe to you what they’re doing to you. Sexting/phone sex may also turn them on and they’ll love to get dirty pictures from you throughout the day. They also may like dirty talking by tell you what they want to do to you long before they do it to you. They like the anticipation and they also love just describing what they want to do.
Ice play and tying you up is something that really turns them on and they really love when you whimper/get whiny. A lot of their dirty talk during sex will be things like “you like that?” Or “you like taking it like that?” Or “does that feel good” they could also be the type to say things like “tell me about it” in like a teasing sort of tone while you’re moaning (I hope that makes sense 😭) and also things like “you feel so good wrapped around me/you feel so good inside of me” and etc.
I also want to add that they’ll have a very nice voice like one of those 18+ audio creators on Reddit if any of you listen to those.
Pile 3 ࿐
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This is a very kinky pile 😭 you may be someone that’s afraid to open up about some of your kinks or have had partners who didn’t get your kinks/interests but your FS will match your energy 100%. Sex with your FS will be intense but very fulfilling. They like soul bonding sex. They could have Scorpio placements. Idk if they dirty talk as much as they’re just VERY vocal like moaning, grunting, whispering, etc. they’ll tell you things like “take it” or “suck it like that” or “you look so pretty on top of me” or “you look so good bent over like that” etc. (take those as they apply, of course) they love praising/worshiping you and they’ll love giving you oral.
They may like to handcuff you and then do it doggy style, using the cuffs as a handle almost and if you’re interested in men, they’re definitely HUGE. You may love giving oral or giving this person oral specifically. Sex with this person is everything you’ve ever wanted and you really match each other energy. They’ll constantly praise your body and tell you how good you look during sex and that’s most of their dirty talk, just telling you how obsessed with you they are and how good you look or how bad they want you and etc. and they’ll be open to trying out all your kinks.
They’ll be super into telling you exactly how good you feel and what exactly it does to them. A lot of their dirty talk may kind of sound like smut but in a good way. They may have read a lot of smut at some point or something. Your FS has a very booktok vibe like the sex you gave us a lot like what you read about in spicy romance books.
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calicoheartz · 4 days
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need need need something about Caitlin dating a famous popstar, think Sabrina carpenter
☆ espresso ; Caitlin Clark
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summary : caitlin clark x pop star reader!
synopsis : you are the music scenes next hot thing , who happens to be dating worldwide famous wnba player (set a tiny bit into the future)
warnings : tiniest bit suggestive if you squint , pure fluff !
my master list ㇀♡
a/n: thank you to the lovely person who suggested this! i changed some of the lyrics in the song for it to make sense but it shouldn’t be too noticeable. Enjoy ◡̈
You were the music industry’s next hot thing. From performing at smaller venues, to headlining at Coachella; you were everywhere. Along with your wnba superstar, Caitlin Clark.
The two of you had met while you were preforming a gig at a local bar , a little right before you got your big break. Ever since then, the two of you had been inseparable. Both instantly drawn to each others passion and drive for your careers.
But with Caitlin’s demanding basketball schedule and your international shows and tours , maintaining your relationship proved to be a challenge. Only relying on calls , texts , and surprise visits whenever you can to steal a moment together amidst your busy lives.
It had been almost 3 weeks since you’ve seen your loving girlfriend. With the wnba draft and Coachella starting to kick off, the universe was simply pulling you two away from eachother.
You were sitting in your dressing room , preparing to go on stage to kick off the second weekend at the bustling festival , the biggest festival of the year for that matter. Your nerves were practically eating you alive, you knew she would be in audience. You toyed with your hair as your makeup artist finished the final touches of your look , as you fidgeted with the hem of your skirt. The skirt that perfectly hugged your curves , delicately adorned with lace and bows , your signature look.
You soon snapped back to reality, with the cheers from the audience slowly making its way into your mind. There was no doubt in your mind that this was the moment that could make or break your career. You planned on preforming your newly released song espresso , as a way to give your girlfriend a little treat on her first day back.
You made your way to the stage , sporting your signature beach waves and skimpy clothes, the intro to the song soon began and your eyes darted across the crowd. Begging to meet with the one pair of eyes you can call her own.
You hear the crowd begin to chant your name , you lock eyes with Caitlin briefly, sending a smirk your way. Prompting you to slowly begin to sway your hips as you begin to sing..
❝ now she’s thinkin’ ‘bout me every night oh, is it that sweet? I guess so ❞
you turn towards caitlin , seeing a big grin on her face , as she very well knows the melodic tune is referencing your whirlwind romance. Your hips continue to sway as the lyrics danced off the tip of your tongue , hitting every note in the process.
❝ And i got this one girl
And she won’t stop calling
when they act this way..
I know i got ‘em ! ❞
The crowd begins to scream , noticing your small wink towards caitlin , making it painfully obvious of your ode to her throughout the song
As the lyrics then again roll off your tongue like sweet honey, you continue to prance around the stage earning gasps and applause from the audience, and most importantly; a hungry gaze from your girlfriend. Her eyes practically undressed you as they wandered from your hips to your face, and vice versa. You immediately felt butterflies in your stomach, it had been so long since shes looked at you with those eyes. And as much as you wanted to jump off the stage and into her arms, you only had to finish the rest of the chorus and verse before concluding your set.
You began…
❝ I'm working late 'cause I'm a singer…Oh, she looks so cute wrapped around my finger! ❞
The music continues and you feel as if you are on cloud nine. If this doesnt fully establish your relationship with cait, then youre not sure what will. You practically feel her eyes burning into you as you resume your soft sways, slowly becoming more provocative as you reach near the end of the song. You hair slowly flows with the gentle breeze, as you shoot a glance towards your girlfriend, receiving a approving nod in return. You hear your cue, and make your way to the front to face the audience head on, you quickly hit your iconic signature pose while belting
❝ Mmm, that's that me espresso❞
And the audience erupts with claps and chants as you quickly exit the stage, locking eyes with your manager who signals you to head to the back. As you make your way down there, you feel a strong and warming embrace wrapped around your hips, with soft kisses peppering your neck. “Cait!” you squealed, unable to hide your excitement to see the brunette, she grins at your reaction, snaking her arm beneath you as she slowly begins to carry you to your dressing room.
She soon gently puts you down, as she gently begins caressing your cheek. “You did amazing” she muttered, “everytime you preform you never refuse to amaze me with the amount of talent that you have-” you cut her off with a deep and tender kiss, tasting the mango flavored lipbalm that glistened on her lips.
You giggle, simply muttering , youre my honey bee.. Come get this pollen ;)
anywaysss this is my go at pop star reader x cc !! tbh i feel like this is train wreck but you be the judge of that! tysm for reading 🎀
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yanderehsr · 6 months
Note
Hope you have a wonderful day and remember to take breaks every now and then! 😴
Unto the request, can I please request yandere high cloud quintet (Jingliu, Jing Yuan,Blade and Imbibitor Lunae) finding out that Baiheng had a descendant before she perished, that descended being the reader who bears a striking resemblance to her. I can just see the 4 of them being obsessed and overprotective of the reader.
-I just recently watched the cutscene for Jingliu’s companion quest and its so top tier
3 hours is plenty of sleep, sometimes I even get 4🥴
And I knoooow, that cutscene was truly top tier😆
Hope you'll enjoy😁
Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapping
Jingliu: Baiheng was her biggest regret, and now that she sees you who not only is her descendant but also look just like her, how could she help herself but to feel protective against you, and not only that but to possess you as well.
Jingliu's Mara-Struck mind makes her even more possessive over you, she can't help but fall into instincts around you even with her high resistance against the mara. She knows it's wrong, horrible of her even, but she has to admit, you look so pretty when you cry for her.
"Don't move, don't make me repeat myself... Baiheng would be disgusted with what I'm doing to you, but I can't find myself to care right now, you're mine and you will need to accept this"
Jing Yuan: He knows about you, he always had known about you as well, you are his secret, something he wouldn't even share with the rest of High-Cloud Quintet, you look so much like Baiheng that it's ridiculous. He has known you for so long that he doesn't even see Baiheng when he looks at you, he instead thinks Baiheng looks like you instead.
Jing Yuan hides you away from the world, what happened to Baiheng will not happen to you as well, you are locked away at his home, he treats you like you're above him, probably due to his guilt about Baiheng, he will guard you, you are safe with him and nothing will ever befall you, least of all death.
"It's almost uncanny how much you look like her... *sigh* Anyways, what do you want for dinner today, I'm cooking"
Blade: He doesn't see you as a descendant, no he thinks you are Baiheng, nothing can convince him otherwise. He never adresses you by your name, he always calls you Baiheng cus that's who you are, he thinks you have just lost your memories but that's okay, he will always be around to remind you of who you are.
Blade calls you that so many times that you may believe him yourself, I mean how can you know about what you have forgotten, and reincarnation is a thing that happens so maybe you really are Baiheng. Blade doesn't care what you think you are, all that is important is that Baiheng is back and you are all his.
"I am so sorry Baiheng for the past... but you are here now... yo-you make me feel whole and alive again, never leave my side ever again, okay"
Imbibitor Lunae: When Dan Heng is like this he starts to remember his past life a bit more clearly but there is one thing he can remember a bit clearer then others, he can remember Baiheng's face, and in turn he recognizes your face as soon as he sees you. Imbibitor Lunae knows that this isn't Baiheng but he still went to talk with you, you looked just like her, he couldn't help himself.
Imbibitor Lunae finds you to be a joy to talk to, not only that but he finds you beautiful as well, a look he has only caught in his dreams now stood before him, he can't help but fall, and he falls deep and hard... he wonders if he can convince you to join the express, otherwise he might need to use... unpleasant ways to get you onboard.
"You look heavenly, like a deity... isn't the view from the express lovely, I hope you'll get used to it, you will be seeing it a lot in the future"
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alisblackgf · 11 months
Note
hello! could you make spider gwen dating headcanons? thanks!
hey hey! of course <3
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gwen stacy x gn!reader
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff (with an itsy bit of angst) :)
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: just some dating headcanons for gwen!
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: she’s such a traumatized lil cutie i love her. btw some slight atsv spoilers! (also, if you wanna be tagged for future works, just let me know!)
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𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
in the beginning of your relationship, she’d be fairly awkward.
don’t get her wrong, she’s comfortable around you!
she just can’t help it when she sees your adorable face!
for example, if you two were to hold hands, her hands would be sort of sweaty.
“gwen, why are your hands sweaty?”
“what- no! they’re not sweating, my hands are just- crying!”
“…huh?”
she would definitely die inside after saying that.
but you find it adorable nonetheless.
𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞
her love language would be gift giving or quality time.
she loves spending time with you.
especially those times where not a single word needs to be spoken.
you two can just enjoy each others’ presence and be at peace with the silence.
now with gift giving, she asks you about things you like and tries to connect with you through them.
if you really enjoy music, she’d get you a vinyl from your favorite band or make you a playlist.
if you’re artistic, she’d get you decent-quality colored pencils or make you a little clay figure (it probably won’t be good).
“uh, gwen, what’s that supposed to be?”
“it’s you!”
“well, i look like i got hit by 2 buses and 10 trucks.”
“okay, you know what-”
all that matters is that she tried!
𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭
you’re her biggest source of comfort.
after what happened with her dad finding out she was spider-woman, she wanted to be anywhere but home.
so she always came to you.
she feels as if she belongs more at your home rather than her own.
sometimes, she doesn’t want to utter a word.
“do you wanna talk about it?”
and when she shakes her head no, you understand.
you open up your arms for her and she climbs into them, no questions asked.
all she needs is to be here with you, and she thanks you for allowing her to be.
𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬
she loves your kisses; however she isn’t often initiating them.
still, she will if she wants to! but she enjoys having you cup her cheeks and pepper her face in kisses.
her cheeks begin to get warm and butterflies swarm in her stomach.
you make her feel so loved and she adores it!
when she does initiate it, though, it’s gentle.
she treats you as if you’re fragile, as if one little tap could shatter you.
you guys upside-down kiss if you know she’s spider-woman (she probably wouldn’t tell you until she absolutely knows she can, after what happened with her dad).
however, if you were to figure it out on your own, she’d feel a little guilty for not telling you sooner, but it greatly speeds up the process for the upside-down spidey kiss!
“can we try something?”
“what do you have in mind?”
“okay so, it requires you to be upside down-”
she knows what you want to do. and she complies, because she loves you.
and you love her.
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i hope this was what you wanted, anon :)
tags: @pr0wlerpunk
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asumofwords · 8 months
Text
Smoke, Fire and Ash
Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence, death, forced marriage, and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on.
This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.
Summary: You are the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen. You are forced to navigate the difficult surroundings of your upbringing and the eventual disintegration between your family and the Hightower's relationship. What will happen when your older and estranged uncle suddenly takes a more sinister interest in you? (Dark!Aemond x Reader)
Masterlist
Characters: Aemond Targaryen X Reader, HOTD characters.
Note: Hello angels! Here is the next chappy hehe, goodness me, I am so glad that we all enjoyed the last chapter haha! What a ride this has been honestly, you all crack me up ahaha <3 Enjoy!
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Chapter 99: To Set The Future Sway 
Aemond Targaryen had been ten years old when he lost his eye.
That year he had been gifted new tomes from his grandfather Otto, and his mother had lemon tarts freshly made for him as a treat, the boy too shy to tell her that they were not in fact his favourite, but yours.
He had snuck down to the dragon pit that day with you to eat them, watching as Syrax’s golden scales glimmered in the flames of the pit, large glimmering dragon purring and growling in the darkness.
It had been a great challenge for a child so young to be put through such a horrific and traumatic experience as having ones eye taken. What was more, the actions of his family afterwards, and the dealings of their response thereafter did naught but rub salt in the proverbial wound. 
Neither adult had reacted in a way that helped Aemond. In fact, it only served to prove as a further detriment to him, and his view of the world.
But more than that, watching you, his only companion at such a formative age, stand alongside his attackers, bastards, and declare for them instead of him had hardened something inside of the young Prince. Made it curdle and fester, calcifying rapidly as the spite that had grown within him became malignant. 
You had protected them. Them. They who had mocked and teased him for years, them and his brother; who stood idly beside him, having not come to his defence out of the fear and wrath of their father.
His view of the world, of people, of his family and what little friends he had, had been inexplicably scarred that evening, much like his face. He walked with more careful steps, more angry movements, and had grown into a bitter and spiteful man, only aided by his mothers disdain and words of encouragement in his ears. 
But Aemond had not let his disability strike him down, he had simply grown himself around it. He trained harder, for longer, making a promise to himself that he would never be bested like that again, never be struck down without striking first. 
And to never hold back.
Where others would look at him in fear, he would play to it, own it, make himself a man to not be trifled with. A man his brother even feared at times, not that he could fear him any longer. A man that women would whisper about in court, and the men would avert their eyes from. 
He needed it that way. 
To feel safe.
After the many years of your separation, being dragged to Dragonstone without even a chance to say goodbye, seeing Aemond again in the Red Keep had struck many chords within your chest. 
Grief. Sorrow. Anger. Rage. Remorse. Guilt. 
Fear. 
But as you looked into his seeing, and unseeing eye in this moment, you felt none of those things. 
Instead, you felt something entirely different. 
Shock. Disbelief. Pride. Adoration.
Love.
The Conquerors Crown that sat snugly against Aemond’s head, did not look at all heavy where it had on Aegon’s. It seemed as though it was an extension of Aemond. An extension of his every being, a manifestation of the man he had built himself to be.
The smooth Valyrian steel did not make his long silver locks stick up in different ways, his tendrils were still held in place, held by the braids you had encouraged him to wear.
Aemond’s violet and sapphire gaze had not left your face once since seating himself upon the Iron Throne, nor when you had placed the Conquerors Crown atop his head. The King’s fingertips had brushed the skin of your cheek, smearing the wetness that had landed there. 
The blood that had landed there. 
But Aemond was not unmarred by the killing of his brother. He too wore the red substance on his face and robes, the lightest of arterial spray that has streaked up his face diagonally, in the motion that his sword had cut through the flesh and bone of Aegon’s neck.
The small specks of blood on his cheeks were drying rapidly from the heat of his face, oxidising and growing darker, small cracks and flakes appearing in the smattering.
And yet despite this, despite the fact that you most certainly should have felt some sort of horror and disgust towards him, you could not, and your heart had fluttered in your chest as you looked at your husband in triumph. 
In hunger. 
He had done this for you.
A final show of his devotion and love.
Your head turned to look down the steps of the Iron Throne, gaze skimming over a distressed Alicent Hightower, who sat hunched over her eldest son crying, whilst Otto and Ser Cole stood nearby. And then your gaze shifted, over to the Lords and Maester who looked at both scenes before them with uncertainty. Fear.
Turning back to face your husband, you called out loudly into the chambers.
“King Aemond Targaryen, First of His Name, Son of King Viserys the First, King of the Stormland’s, Westerland’s and the Reach, Ruler of Oldtown, The Andals, Rhoynar and the First Men, King of the People of Kings Landing, and Protector of His Realms.”
The Small Council muttered amongst themselves as you looked out at the room beside him. All Lords, guards and knights bent the knee, bowing their head down towards their new crowned King. Even Ser Otto Hightower bowed, but Alicent looked up at her son in disbelief.
You turned back to your husband, hungrily watching him, a wave of warmth flooding you. 
He had done this for you. 
He had killed Aegon for you. 
Aemond was King.
Your husband.
“My King.” You breathed quietly, eyes roaming his face hungrily.
Sensing your intentions, Aemond’s voice boomed into the chambers.
"Clear the room.” He commanded, voice crisp and clear, and all men obeyed.
Alicent however, did not, and had to be dragged from the corpse of her eldest, sobbing into her fathers arms as she muttered prayers to the Seven through hiccups, and curses at the two of you.
The chambers were emptied, bar you and Aemond, and the corpse of the once King that still lay, untouched on the stone floors before the throne. Your eyes cast backwards to look at the body, a sick smile spreading across your lips, before you looked back at your husband, who devoured you with his lone eye.
Your core clenched, watching him intensely as heat settled into your gut. 
He had killed Aegon for you. Before everyone. Before his mother. 
His last sibling. 
And for you. 
All for you. 
Your Aemond.
Aemond pulled you forward with his hand, and you climbed up onto the throne in his lap, knees pressed against the leather of his cloak below you. Your fingers raced to untie his breeches, neither of you daring to break the eye contact you held.
His length was hard and heavy in your palm as you pulled it out of its confines, tip already leaking heavily with precum.
Killing his brother had aroused him. 
Being crowned had aroused him. 
The violence of it all, the triumph, the ending of years of suffering and mocking making way to a new time of power and strength. Autonomy. Each aspect of it had made him throb in his breeches before he had even sat on the throne. 
You pumped him in your hand quickly, a breathy sigh falling from his lips as his large palms skated up your thighs warmly, calluses scratching your soft skin, before they dived beneath your skirts, feeling your already drenched folds.
It had aroused you too.
Aemond smirked up at you, cheek twitching as two digits rubbed through your folds slickly, “All this for killing my brother?”
You sighed, squirming in his lap, pleasure sparking up through your gut, "All for you.” You breathed.
A finger pushed through your folds and into your core, hooking upwards to rub against the spongey spot Aemond could find within seconds, “So wet for your King.” He purred, shifting his hips upwards as you gave him a particularly hard squeeze.
The words caused a shiver to race down your spine, your hips lifting, Aemond pulling his finger from inside of you as you lined him up with your sopping entrance. Your uncle watched your face, a hand coming to bush against your cheek, the blood upon it drying and beginning to flake as you sunk down onto his length with a sigh.
Aemond groaned loudly in the chambers as pleasure shot through you, Aemond’s cock reaching deeper with the angle, brushing against your fluttering walls, the stretch of him sparking delicious pain through you.
Slowly but surely you began to ride him, hands atop his shoulders as you looked at him. Despite him sitting and you on his lap, he was still taller than you, but your faces were levelled as you ground down on his length, his head dipping, feeling your wetness begin to pool in his lap.
The throne room was filled with the sound of your wet heat and the moans and groans that came from the both of you as you fucked yourself atop him. Rewarding him for his actions. Rewarding yourself for getting him to do so. Desperate to reach your peak as adrenaline still coursed through you.
“My King.” You whined, eyes closing momentarily as you threw your head back, sensitive bud brushing against the soaked material of his breeches.
Aemond groaned loudly, hands coming to grab the flesh of your ass as he guide you down onto him harder and faster, “Say it again.” He groaned, eye on your face.
“My King.” The head of his cock bullied the deepest part of you, every single inch of him brushing against your most sensitive places as you felt him in your stomach, your release beginning to climb within you rapidly.
Aemond fucked up into you harder, feeling your walls begin to tighten, hips lifting slightly on the seat of the Iron Throne, your fingers digging into his shoulder for purchase.
“My sweet, Lady wife.” He purred, rushing forward to capture your lips with his. 
It was messy, and rushed, full of passion, and devotion and love. He nipped your lips and you whimpered into his mouth, one hand skating up to brush against the skin of his neck, pulling him closer.
The change in angle shifted, and Aemond’s length beat into the spongey spot within you, the pressure rippling up through your body as you reached your peak suddenly.
You cried out loudly, writhing atop his lap as he fucked you through it, hips clapping up into yours.
“My Queen.” He grunted, rutting into you viciously and prolonging your release. Aemond thrusted a few times more before he tumbled over the edge with you, hot ropes of his seed filling your walls as you clenched around him.
“Fuck.”
You breathed heavily, warmth flooding your limbs as you slumped against him, his fingers digging into the meat of your ass as he gently rocked you back and forth atop him, riding out his peak for as long as possible. 
As you stilled atop him, core still gripping his length tightly, you felt the adrenaline begin to simmer, your body and mind rapidly tiring from the weight of it all.
You pulled your face away from his chest and looked up at your husband. 
Your King.
King.
Your fingers brushed against his pale cheek, where the lightest dusting of freckles that had faded with time were still there, only now, they were covered with a dusting of blood. Your eyes raised higher, and you looked to the crown that sat as it was meant to be atop his head. 
He was so handsome. So beautiful. And yours.
Always yours. 
From the training yard, to the passageways, to the library, and the kitchen, and the garden, Aemond Targaryen had always been yours. And would be yours forever more.
Fire and blood, as the Gods had made it so. 
You would burn together.
Your chest swelled with warmth, looking at the deeper flecks of lilac that sat in his iris whilst his mouth was slightly parted, breathing shallowly as he watched you. You leant forward, pressing a kiss to each cheek, feather light as it were, his body shivering beneath you, and then atop his seeing eyelid, feeling the long white lashes tickle your lips.
Then, to his scar, kissing a pathway to travel up the length of it gently, careful to not hurt him. You had felt him tense beneath you when you did it, but the more you pressed a kiss to the length of the healed wound, the more and more he relaxed.
Finally, you pressed your lips to his own.
“You were made to be King.” You purred as you kissed him, hand cupping the side of his cheek as he leant into it. He hummed deeply, chest vibrating against yours as his fingers dug into the flesh of your ass.
Desperate to show him the warmth that you felt for him, you kissed sweetly at his mouth, soft quick ones that left him chasing after you for more, “I love you.” You cooed, hoping that he felt your thanks.
Your praise. 
Your adoration.
His lips parted against yours as he smiled, and you pulled back, bare inches to see it, warmth creeping back into your core. 
The King leant forward to kiss you, his lips breaking the tenderness for a moment to breath into your own, “And you, my Queen.”
Your walls tightened around him, arousal sparking back inside of you. Aemond tilted his hips up slowly, grinding into you with purpose, and you felt him begin to harden again.
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Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3
Tag List:
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Bold is who I cannot tag!
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behidethetrees · 8 months
Text
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HOLD MY HEART, ITS BEATING FOR YOU ANYWAY.
IN WHICH… You’re ethans dream girl!
Pairing: Ethan landry x Fem! Reader
Contents: non-gf! Ethan, Reader is bffs with Tara and Anika <3, Chad is definitely Ethan’s biggest hypeman, This is set in the 2000s!!
THIS IS A REUPLOAD!!! my blog got deleted so I have to re-upload all my fics :( but nonetheless enjoy!!
HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR YEAR 2005 ;
Ethan has had his eye on you for a while.
Since junior year of high school when you asked him for the algebra notes, he's been completely infatuated with you. He had daydreamed about you and everything he would do for you once you became his.
He was so sure you two would tie the knot soon that he started to plan your future together. He dreamed about having a big house with two cats, a good-paying job so he can spoil you, maybe even kids. But he couldn't have any of that if he hadn't talked to you yet.
he decided to take matters into his own hands, He was going to talk to you. He thought of all the different ways he would approach you But every time he tried, Once he got close enough to you, he would always back down because of how nervous you made him.
Ethan felt as if you were getting farther from him Until one day when you asked for the notes again…
"I- uhm, can tutor you if you want." Ethan blurts out
"tutor me? You think I'm stupid?" you said in that sickly sweet voice of yours which, at that moment, didn't feel all too sweet.
"NO!, oh God uhm-no that's not what I meant. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that, It's just uh we have a test soon so I didn't know if-" Ethan started to ramble. He had fantasized about you for too long to let you slip away. He wasn't going to let it happen.
"I'm just fucking with you, here's my number." you laugh as you tear a piece of paper from your notebook and grab Ethan's pen from his hand.
Ethan was sure he was seeing hearts around his vision. Ethan had made YOU laugh, Ethan's heart was pumping out of his chest. As you handed him the paper, smiled, and thanked him he had to force himself not to kiss you right then and there.
Every tutor session ended with you two just talking and getting to know each other. Ethan studied you. he memorized what you liked, didn't like, your favorite foods, the shows you liked, everything you told him he would remember.
As you two became closer, Ethan became more and more devoted to you. You two went shopping? He’d carry your bags. Out for food? He’d pay. Simply walking towards a door? He’d hold the door open for you. You had started to consider Ethan a best friend and that made Ethan's stomach hurt with excitement.
When you introduced Ethan to the group, of course, Chad took a quick liking in him, So much so they're now roommates at Blackmore. Ethan would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Chad at first. How close you guys were, how comfortable, How much trust you put in him, Everybody loved Chad and his personality, Chad had a higher chance of being with you than Him Ethan thought, and something about that made Ethan's jaw clench harder every time, But he would never admit this.
BLACKMORE UNIVERSITY, SOPHMORE YEAR 2008;
When you got that text from Ethan, Tara grabbed your pink flip phone and freaked out.
“Oh my god! y/n you HAVE to accept this!” Tara yelled as she grabbed your shoulders and shook you.
“Why this restaurant though? Why does he want to go that far out for food?” You said with too much obliviousness that it hurt everyone in the room.
“You have got to be kidding me.” Anika started “ He likes you! He's taking you to a fancy dinner to tell you, There's no other reason why he would want you to go that far out for a hamburger!”
“I don't think he does though, I think he likes that girl in our econ class” You said, The thought of that makes your heart hurt. You had liked ethan for awhile, He was so kind and attentive, If you asked him for help, He would be there in a heartbeat. He treated you with so much respect and gentleness you knew no one else could give you like he did.
“Jill? Are you kidding? You're so blind.” Tara says “Well he looks at her sometimes-” You start getting defensive.
“She sits in front of him Y/N. I promise you he doesn't like her, if he does he's an idiot!” Tara yells.
Anika agrees with a loud yeah!
“Whatever but I still don't think he likes me, we're just friends.” In your gut, you knew that was a lie but you kept telling yourself it wasn't.
“He has heart eyes every time he looks at you y/n. He's definitely in love with you.” Anika said, Tara laughs.
The whole afternoon Tara and Anika helped you get ready and pick out what to wear. You all decided on a y/f/c colored dress with some dark shoes. Tara straighten your hair and Anika did your nails and picked out your perfume.
“He's gonna be more in love with you than he already is!” Tara says, You laugh as Tara and Anika hug you.
Ethan was sitting in the booth of a fancy restaurant that was quite the drive from Blackmore. Chad had finally convinced Ethan to ask you out and when you agreed, Chad's plan was finally in motion. Ethan smelled like Chad's cologne and was dressed in expensive clothes Chad had brought him, a baby blue collared shirt with grey dress pants. Ethan's curls were somehow curlier and out of his face, he looked like a ‘million bucks’ according to Chad.
As you walk in you noticed a group of three sitting to the left of the entrance, All dressed in black, sunglasses, and their hair covering their faces, One of them looked like Anika, You almost laughed. What you didn't notice was Ethan's eyes going wide as he saw you walk in. How his blood started rushing and his heart was about to explode.
“Hey y/n!’ Ethan awkwardly gets up from his seat, He puts his hands on your waist to pull you into a hug.
“Hey Ethan.” you say as you lean into his touch, placing your arms around his neck. It was a short but an effective hug. You too, were now nervous.
As Ethan lets go, You exhale a breath you didn't know you were holding.
You sat across from Ethan and looked at the menu, but Ethan didn't. Ethan was looking at you. Admiring you. How focused you were, how your eyebrows moved up a bit if you saw something that looked good, how you played with your silver ring, taking it off and putting it back on your finger.
“ I think I want to try this, Ethan are you looking?” you ask as you move the menu to show Ethan, “ Are you okay?” You noticed Ethan was just staring down.
“I uhm, need to tell you something.” Ethan says softly. Was he really about to do this?
“Oh okay” Ethan saw you fidget with your ring again, He knew you were just as nervous as he was.
Ethan looked down at his hand to remember what to say- oh crap, Ethan's black ink was smudged from washing his hands. Ethan cursed himself in his head for being so dumb. Ethan breathed in deeply, trying not to panic. What was he supposed to say now?
Ethan picked up his head but avoided making eye contact with you, But you on the other hand were looking right into his hazel eyes that still somehow shined even in the dimed lights.
“I don't know if this is weird because we're friends and I don't want to make you uncomfortable,” Ethan starts, He knew this wasn't the best way to start but he didn't know what else to say. “If you don't feel the same that's okay, And if you don't want to be friends after this thats fine too-” Ethan is stalling.
“Ethan what are you saying?” You knew what was coming but you wanted to hear him say it.
“Its nothing bad! I just uhm, like you.” Ethan mumbles while scratching his face.
“What?” You heard him, You just wanted him to say it again.
“ I like you y/n, I've liked you for so long it's making me crazy.” Ethan's mouth begins to move faster than his brain. “ I've loved you ever since I've known you and- and I've tried to show you, The best days of my life revolve around you, it's always been you.” Ethan doesn't notice that you get up and start to walk to his side of the booth.
“ I’d do anything you want, I already do everything you want and I'm sorry if this is weird but your all I want-” You grab Ethan's hand from his lap as you sit next to him, Now he notices.
“Ethan how could i not like you? Youre like, the best person ive ever met.” You make sure he looks you in your eyes so he knows you really mean it.
“ You have so much kindness and patience and i admire that so much, You make me feel loved.” You say as you lean in to kiss him. Ethan was caught off guard but slowly he grabs your hips as you place your hand on the side of his arm. It was a long passionate kiss filled with years of yearning and love for each other.
As you began to pull away you see the same 3 weird people from the other table in front of you.
“Tara?!” It was Tara, Anika, and Chad dressed up, Anika Was recording.
“Is it official?” Tara asks with excitement. You and Ethan looked at each other before smiling and turning to the others and nodding.
Immediately Tara grabs you out of the booth and hugs you so tight you felt like you couldn't breathe, Anika also joining in. Chad and Ethan do their handshake they’ve practice for over a year, this time they perfected it.
“Dinner is on me!” Chad yells.
A/N; Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!
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saerins · 3 months
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⋆୨ chapter six ୧˚ redefines in every way what love is
⋆୨ if not for you (masterlist) ⋆୨ previous: chapter five - if not for this love of mine <> next: chapter seven - till forever falls apart ୧˚
⋆୨ synopsis ୧˚ neither of you want this. both you and sae reluctantly agree to this marriage, although sae’s dissatisfaction far outweighs your own. with hidden agendas and old flames, will this ever work out between the two of you, or will your forced spark be doomed to fail?
ೀ series: sae x f!reader | wc 13.2k | ೀ content warnings: fluff/angst, modern au, arranged marriage, rich!sae and rich!reader, jealousy/paranoia, third parties, manipulation, mostly from sae’s (& mirin’s) pov | notes: okay i’ve finally finished it !! sorry for the super long break but real life had a chokehold on me (aka my job sucks) </3 anyway ! hope you enjoy sae’s pov , heh he’s so bad at relationships but sorry i love him <3 next chapter should be the last so ^_^
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Sae & Mirin; 17.
It was a peculiar feeling.
Up until that point, whatever interest Sae had in life centred around soccer. Around being the best. Needless to say, when his parents weren’t too happy about both their sons not wanting to take over the family business, Sae took the brunt of it all.
His fingers idly traced circles around the injury on his ankle—the injury caused by another player perpetrated by his parents. It was honestly laughable; the extent to which his parents would go to to have him submit to their will.
“Hey, handsome and gloomy.”
There was that voice he loved to hear. It was silly how easy it was for a special someone to make him smile. A warm pair of arms wrapped themselves around his neck from behind, pressing her weight down on top of him.
“Yes, pretty?”
Mirin laughed, that smile lighting up her features. Her lips pressed a kiss against his cheek before she settled beside him.
They were sitting on top of the school building—after lessons, because Mirin had strict parents who would kill her if she ever skipped class.
“Look at you, moping up here all on your own, ignoring your girlfriend,” she mused, body swaying from side to side before her head eventually rested on his shoulder. A sigh left her lips, the graduation looming upon them catching up to her. 
Sae chuckled, pressing a soft kiss onto the top of her head, both of them relishing in the moment. There was an uneasiness that pressed in the air around them, but it was one that Sae chose to ignore. Mirin had a lot of things on her mind that she liked to keep to herself, and this was something that happened very often. It could be because of her overbearing parents, but Sae never minded that.
“Sae, can I ask you something?”
It was a timid tone that he wasn’t used to, but he let it slide.
“Anything.”
“Ten years from now, would you still love me the same?” It was a question that made Sae snort, because he didn’t realise Mirin would talk about the future. She wasn’t one to do so. She nudged him on the arm, laughing along with him because it was hard for her to be all down when she was around him. “Hey, I’m serious, ten years from now, would you still love this annoying, hard headed girlfriend of yours?”
At that time, it wasn’t a hard question. At that time, all Sae could see and care about was Mirin. There was never a doubt in his mind.
So he looked her in the eye, his pinky finger looped around hers.
“Ten years from now, huh? Think I would’ve married you by then.”
Mirin smiled, the most genuine one she ever let loose in her life. Only because at that moment, she felt his sincerity. The only person who treated her with any sort of decency in the way that she needed. In the face of her strict family, with Sae, she had nothing to fear. He was all she needed.
“I’ll hold you to it, Itoshi Sae.”
Sae chuckled, leaning down to kiss Mirin on the lips. “Whatever you say, Mrs Itoshi.”
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A few months ago.
The news was broken to him like he was watching a news program and the news anchor was reporting on some trivial matter.
As always, his father said such a thing oh so casually, eating away at his lamb chop and then swiftly switching the subject to wedding preparations, as if his son was a tool that he could command at will.
“What did you just say?”
Because surely Sae heard him wrongly? Surely his father did not just mention that he was to be married to a stranger he barely knew?
This was his life, wasn’t it?
“I expect you to behave, do you understand?” His father responds, ignoring Sae’s question completely. He knew his son heard him, he said it loud and clear after all. “Anyway, we’ll pay fifty-fifty and—”
“No.”
There was a threat in his father’s glare, but it was one that Sae was way too used to.
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t care why you need this stupid marriage to go through but I’m not doing it.”
It was just laughable; there wasn’t any panic evident in his father’s expression. Sae should’ve known, he could already feel what was coming. If anything, his father was always prepared. It was plans on top of plans, a contingency for every situation.
“Either do this, or I’ll get Rin instead. It’ll be a pain, but don’t think I won’t do it.”
There were a lot of things Sae hated his father for, but what he hated the most was how Rin had to be brought into the conversation as a threat whenever he didn’t get his way. He knew it was the only way to control Sae, and he wasn’t afraid to use it.
“Honey! Stop speaking like that… Sae, please try to understand, this will be a huge opportunity. It’s the least you owe us, hm?”
And Sae didn’t even want to think about his mother. The one who always went along with everything because she was in love with the money she married into. The one who always used faux concern as a tool to ease Sae into his father’s plans.
In the end, neither of them cared for their kids. They were only seen as heirs. Like they owed them for being born. That they were only supposed to unconditionally go along with whatever orders they were given without a second thought. They wanted robots more than actual children, it seemed.
“You lost your shot, do you want Rin to lose his too?”
It was almost all too clear who sabotaged Sae’s chance at being a pro footballer. All it took was a single moment of disobedience from Sae and sponsorship of an entire year’s worth of tuition to one of his rivals to get his leg too injured to play in comfort.
As much as it sucked, all three of them knew Sae’s answer. And just like that, his father was victorious.
“Besides, Y/N seems to be excited for this,” his mother said, trying to switch the subject.
“I’m not fucking marrying her. I don’t even know her.” The words flew out of his mouth before he even realised it.
Maybe it had something to do with Mirin. With that rumour he heard going around that she was either already back in Japan or she was coming back soon. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Sae had been waiting for her this whole time, that she was the only one he ever loved.
Of course, none of that would change his parents’ minds. Consuming your family’s company would bring them a ton of uplift that could sustain their business for many years to come, something a money-greedy businessman would go to extreme lengths to get. So it didn’t matter if Mirin’s family could also bring in benefits in terms of cooperation—it would never amount to yours.
And it was wrong. It was wrong of Sae to vent all of his hatred to the fact that you existed, but it was the first thing that came to mind. 
Why did you have to exist?
“Maybe we should just pull Rin out then, get him to come back here and handle all this.” His father knew not to back down.
“Sae, be a good boy and listen to us, okay? How about this—if it ever gets too bad, we’ll look into a divorce in the future, hm?” His mother was just useless, but she did at least consider how he could get out of it. Even if it would prove to be difficult in the future.
Giving up entirely, Sae walked out of the front door. There was no way out of it, for now. Not without consequences. Dire ones. For Rin.
Pulling out Oliver’s contact, Sae hit the call button, with Oliver picking up right as he got into a cab.
“Meet you guys at our usual. I need a fucking drink.”
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Day of the wedding.
To say that Sae had cold feet would be an understatement.
His marriage to you would be within the next few hours. After what, a couple months of informing him that they’d arranged him to marry the daughter of their close university friends? And they left a very not-so-subtle hint that they’d force Rin back to marry her if Sae didn’t comply.
Sae realised that your family’s company rivals his own, but who would’ve thought that their sudden yield to the Itoshis wanting to buy the company would result in so much shit being passed onto Sae himself?
There were options presented to him to meet you beforehand. All of which you had agreed to (or so his parents said) and all of which he had declined. He really didn’t have the intention of playing nice with you, or acting like he cared about you. To Sae, all you were was someone standing in between the possibility of him and Mirin.
But he did see you as you walked to the venue all on your own. Without a car or your parents, dressed in a loose white sleeveless top and jeans, buying a pack of tissues from the old man across the road, giving him entirely too much money for a three-pack and then refusing the change.
Teal eyes continued observing you as the old man bowed in gratitude, and your demeanour suggested that it probably wasn’t the first time you were giving money out like charity. Sae noticed the pair of half moon crescents as you smiled, the way it lit up your entire face.
If he thought hard enough, maybe he could remember that one time you saw each other when you were kids. Just that once. He was five. You were four. He vaguely remembered you excitedly chattering away to him about something. Sae doubted you remembered any of that though. It was only once and even he didn’t recall anything about it until today.
Tearing his eyes away from you, he walked away from the ledge of the window at his dressing room, sitting on the edge of the bed, idly staring at his phone, at the messages blowing it up, mostly of Oliver and Otoya in the groupchat, saying how Mirin was actually back.
If there was one thing his friends were good at, it was detective work that they didn’t need to do. Because by now, Sae didn’t want to know.
As much as he hated his circumstances, as much as he didn’t like this situation, he was going to be a married man soon. As much as he didn’t want to, he would rather forget about Mirin sooner than later. It would only serve more hurt if he chose the latter anyway.
Still, false hope wasn’t what he wanted to give you. There was nothing that he could think of that would persuade him to love anyone else but her. That was exactly why he found himself outside your dressing room, waiting to speak to you.
Your sister was with you, and Sae kept his thoughts to himself; he remembered your earlier smile. You were the prettier one in his eyes. That didn’t change what he had to do regardless. And both of you are similar in a frustrating way—both of you like to mask your troubles with your smiles.
Maybe you didn’t want this either, then?
“Hi, um, it’s nice to meet you.”
You sounded like the most awkward person in the world. Not that it mattered. Maybe the awkward distance between the two of you would work in his favour then.
“I wanted to set things straight before we go through with anything.”
Your expression wasn’t one of happiness to begin with, but the moment he said his piece, your face looked like all the blood drained from it. Sae averted his gaze. He didn’t like hurting anyone, and surely he didn’t care for you just yet, but this was better than giving you any sort of hope.
He needed to keep it up. Even after today. Tonight, tomorrow and everyday. Until he could see that you understand where this marriage would go; absolutely nowhere, but that both of you had to stay anyway.
But your parents had impeccable timing, coming over to the room right as he was exiting. That just meant he had to entertain your family for a few more seconds, nothing too difficult. He had been dealing with his father for his whole life after all.
“So, this is the first time you’re meeting our Y/N right? What do you think, son?” Your father sounded like his father when he was trying to play nice. Suddenly it made sense that they would be in cahoots to force their kids together.
“Your daughter is…” Sae lost himself in thought for a while, thinking back to that smile he saw on you, that genuine smile when you were helping someone. Not this fake one you have plastered on to make it seem like everything was okay. You had no obligation to cover for his actions but you did it anyway. “Pretty.”
And even prettier when she’s actually smiling, he thought to himself as he retreated back to his own dressing room.
Later on during the wedding reception, Sae tried his best to act the part of a happy husband. It was hard though, considering how stiff and awkward you were. You really didn’t have talent for being an actress. He let slip a few harsh reminders, but he was careful not to get too into it—last thing he needed was for you to cry.
You were nothing to him. Nothing but the one he had to marry to get his parents off him and his brother’s back.
So why did he feel a tinge of something when he caught your best friend staring? Mikage Reo, not a bad catch himself, and he had been your best friend since elementary school, if Sae recalled correctly.
That was all he could think about when he stormed back to the dressing room, wantonly irritated by his father and mildly annoyed by your concern. The only reason he could think of for being angry was the lingering feelings of an unresolved first love.
The only one he thought he would marry, would watch as she walked down the aisle like a princess out of a fairytale. The only one who taught him love and gave him the most treasured memories of his youth. The only one who could, at this moment, receive his kindness while everyone else would be dead in his eyes.
And of course the universe would perpetuate such a connection; his phone buzzed with notifications from Mirin. An almost empty thread opened up, and he was reminded of when he tried to forget her when she dated another guy while she was overseas. But how could he really forget her when she came back and told him she couldn’t forget about him either? That if it wasn’t too much, if he could wait for her to come back?
Sae won’t deny that there was a mix of emotions about it, that Karasu had told him many times before he thought she was just leading him on, that she wanted a comfortable failsafe for when she inevitably came back and didn’t want to be alone.
That was the key reason why they drifted.
And now, she came back. She came back and she didn’t get her invite because Sae threw it in the trash because even if he didn’t know you, it was common sense that he couldn’t invite Mirin—not when she was the only person capable of changing his mind. Not when he knew she wouldn’t be afraid to voice herself.
Sae didn’t particularly like you, but he wasn’t going to deliberately hurt you that way. He was sure he would upset you in many other ways, unintentionally, but he told himself he wouldn’t do that to you.
As he looked at her chat thread, at his possible responses—how could i ever forget? and i wish it was you and many more he didn’t have the energy to type out—Sae swallowed the lump in his throat. There was a battle going on in his head; the one that knew what was right and the one that wanted to go with his heart.
He succumbed to both.
Staring at his i miss you, he started to remember how hard you tried to keep up with him earlier that day, how you probably tried to stay at his good side.
With his head in his hands, he felt the familiar flow of tears threatening to unveil—it was a hard decision but he had to make it.
That was it. Sae had decided. He had to let go of Mirin and whatever promises they made.
She had to stay in the past.
As he looked at her nickname on his phone, he wished he could will the memories away. Even as he saw her response. Even as he knew the way she told him she missed him too would haunt him for a good while.
Goodbye.
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Stepping into the house you two would share felt more than just a little uneasy. Both of you had never been in the same room before today and now your parents expected the both of you to just be okay living together.
Maybe it was a little too much of Sae to just take the master bedroom and banish you to the other one, but it had been a long day and he really wasn’t a saint. He had expected you to argue back but you didn’t, and that was fine with him—maybe once he cleared his head he could think of ways to make it so things were fairer to you but not now.
Not when he was a mix of emotions just threatening to explode.
It was especially perplexing when he got into the room and started checking it out that he found his things already there, unpacked for him, a familiar black box he had once kept precious sitting on the study desk. He didn’t have to open it to know what was inside.
Apart from pictures with Rin, he really should just burn everything else.
Next time. It was always a problem for next time because he was way too annoyed at life for everything else. Looking at it was just a reminder, too, of a life he had once craved and he couldn’t move forward if it was still there.
Yeah, yeah, he’d burn it all to ashes next time and leave it all in the past like he planned.
The next few days after that, count Sae mildly surprised when you kept trying in subtle ways to ease the tension between the two of you.
There were a few things you did; you kept at your good mornings, and on the days you were feeling particularly courageous you bothered to ask him what he wanted for dinner. He didn’t reciprocate much, only contributed his mornings and told you he didn’t need dinner (although he would note how delicious the food you cooked smelled when he came home afterwards).
There was something strange about the way you made him feel—he didn’t understand where you got the energy to keep trying when you knew this wasn’t what either of you wanted. It was easy enough for him to tell that your parents forced you into this too, but what wasn’t easy was trying to see why you were so good.
What was even more frustrating was the sense of comfort he felt. It was alarming. He didn’t know why it was there. But he found himself trying to reject it.
“Isn’t this supposed to be your honeymoon period or something?”
“C’mon, Oliver, they don’t even sleep in the same room,” Otoya sighed, getting bored of the subject. He was also getting tired of watching Sae’s unenthused face every night.
Ever since he got married, he hasn’t once spent a normal night in. He just didn’t think he had any energy to spend on trying to be cordial with you. Not when a million things are still running through his head in a loop.
It was only 8.30pm, and both Oliver and Otoya were already bringing the big liquor bottles out, the lights in the karaoke room dimming.
“Where’s Karasu?”
“Busy again, with god knows what.” Otoya always sounded disinterested in anything and everything. “Where’s the girls?”
The girls, meaning the usual two that they had as fuck buddies, something Sae didn’t care for. That could be all Otoya cared for, actually.
“On the way,” Oliver replied, pouring the whisky into the shot glasses on the table. Three, even though Sae didn’t want any. “By the way,” Oliver said, a hint of mischief in his eyes as he turned to look at Sae. “I have a special guest for you.”
“What?” Sae was entirely too tired to have time to play another one of Oliver’s mind games.
Oliver was already downing a shot for no reason, and Sae chalked it up to being under the constant pressure of being a big shot lawyer’s son.
“That’s who I asked Karasu to get before coming here,” Oliver grinned, sliding a shot glass over to Sae.
Sae ignored it. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Come on, don’t play dumb,” Oliver groaned, throwing his head back against the leather seats dramatically. “Mirin? The name ring a bell?”
It did more than ring a bell, actually. It made Sae’s heart stop, made him speechless. Made Otoya snicker at his reaction.
“Thought I’d offer some incentive to cheer you up from that boring loveless marriage of yours,” Oliver commented, tossing a pack of cigarettes onto the table and lighting one up.
If Sae was being completely honest, he did want to see Mirin. He hadn’t seen her for so many years, he found a passing thought that wondered if she was still as pretty as he remembered, if she still scrunched her nose in that cute way she did and if she still used the same perfume that he liked.
But for some reason, Sae kept thinking back to you. What would you think if you found out? Somehow, he realised maybe that fact alone could make you cry. And somehow, for some abstract reason he couldn’t make out, he wasn’t okay with that.
In the background, he could faintly make out the conversation between Otoya and Oliver, something about how Otoya thought Mirin looked hot from her pictures, and how Oliver encouraged the thought, saying shit like “wait till you see her in real life.”
Normally, he’d feel like punching those who dared to talk about Mirin like that, but at that moment all he felt was nausea. In a weird turn of events, he kind of actually wanted to punch Oliver for taking a subtle dig at you. You were a good person. Even if Sae wasn’t particularly innocent at treating you less than you deserve.
Nausea nausea nausea.
It got even worse when seconds later, Karasu strolled through their door, a smirk on his face aimed at Sae.
“She’s in the restroom freshening up,” Karasu said, winking this time, Oliver whistling in anticipation.
His head was in a mess, wanting to bolt out of there straight away but failing to do so in time because the next minute, Sae watched as his first love walked through the door, looking beautiful as ever.
“Wow, four handsome guys in the room with me, huh?”
She’d gotten flirtier than he remembered. And she wasn’t directly talking to him yet, which was a relief for him.
“Yeah darling, wanna help us take a pic?” Oliver smirked, tossing her his phone.
Sae was just in a daze, looking at the camera as Mirin snapped a picture, her eyes lingering over him through the phone. If he wasn’t married, he was sure he would’ve reacted differently, but as things stood, this was wrong.
The moment Oliver suggested Mirin sit next to Sae for a picture, Sae found himself walking towards the door, muttering an excuse about how he had another appointment and leaving.
“Hey Sae, wait up—”
Mirin’s voice was loud and clear as she chased him out the door but Sae was faster. He was back into his car and driving back home, back to you, before he even made sense of it all.
When he walked through the front door, ready to just pass out on the bed because he had too many surprises earlier, he could smell the homemade cooking—the same one that made him feel nice coming home to. It was more prominent than usual.
Of course it was, because he could see the untouched food as he walked past the dining room. You were there, sitting there, a little pathetic but cute, and Sae didn’t really know what to do.
“Why haven’t you eaten?”
And you seemed a little more determined than usual, although the trembling of your fingers said otherwise. You were that easily scared of him?
“I was waiting for you.”
It was a simple thing, really. A wife waiting for her husband to get home first before eating. But to Sae, it was inexplicable. There was never any instance where he had an easy time going home, especially before this. Going home meant listening to his parents argue over money and having to pretend he didn’t hear it and have to watch them take the same stance as though he didn’t just hear their divide. Home-cooked food had lost its meaning for Sae a long time ago when all he had were private chefs cooking with technique and just that.
Since when did going home mean there would be a warm dinner waiting for him with so much effort put into picking out what he liked? Did you pay attention to his takeout whenever he ordered in?
“I already ate.”
There it was—that denial again that Sae just couldn’t seem to get rid of. Because wouldn’t all marriages dissolve into what his parents had without a strong foundation? They never loved each other, that much Sae could tell. For the longest time, he had thought maybe for once, someone could have a happy family if they actually felt the same about each other and for the longest time that person to him was Mirin.
The same girl he ignored earlier. The same girl he brushed past to get home to you. The same girl who didn’t seem to have as much of a hold over him as he thought after he saw her in the flesh.
Maybe that was why he found himself wanting to try. He had rejected you many times, relegating you to the other end of the house so he didn’t have to see you and feel guilty all the time. It was pathetic of him, yeah, and he was sorry. And call him a coward but he didn’t know how to handle any of this like a normal person would. Normal people probably wouldn’t have to be forced to marry a stranger though.
For once in his life, Sae found himself trying. Trying something he was so averse to in the first place. Trying something that he found so curious because you managed to bring it out of him.
Your efforts didn’t have to be big. It was all so small, so subtle. He saw everything and he tried to reject it—so why is he here now, picking the meat off the bones for you? You seemed so nervous he was afraid you might miss a bone and hurt yourself.
Which made no sense because you didn’t mean anything to him. Right?
So why did he feel the familiar tug on his lips, the smile threatening to form just from a simple dinner, the same way you managed to tug on his heartstrings?
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When Sae heard you asking him for a favour, he thought you might’ve been joking. But your demeanour suggested you might not be. It was kind of weird, how you claimed that it was your parents who wanted to check up on the marriage and so you said that you needed Sae to cooperate, but at the same time you looked absolutely gleeful at the thought of having some semblance of normalcy in your married life with him.
He did you a favour by not calling you out for it.
But he couldn’t stop himself from being curious, from wondering what you looked like if he really threw you a bone. That was the driving force behind his close proximity to you, so close he could smell the shampoo off your hair and appreciate the way your breath hitched in your throat.
Cute.
He kept that to himself too, kept entirely way too many opinions of you to himself instead of sharing them with you.
“How are they gonna believe a thing when you’re that awkward around me?”
He gave a mental reminder to himself: maybe he should help you work on that.
But the moment you brought up finances, a bad feeling lurked in the back of his head. Just a gut feeling, if anything. Maybe it was because he was brought up in a similar household that he could tell when other people had bad intentions.
Your parents weren’t exempt from it, he was sure. They treated you like trash, from what he heard earlier, and he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to rid what would make your life harder.
You were his wife, after all.
“You want me to… transfer all my money into this account?”
He got it, it was a tough ask. Especially since Sae had been none too nice to you since you got married, but for this one, he was adamant. So you did. You gave him all your money like he asked and he really needed to teach you not to be so naive around other people but maybe you felt the same pull as he did, the overwhelming urge to trust even though it wasn’t so much rightfully earned yet.
Stupidly, he felt just that little bit of excitement creeping up inside him at the notion of actually getting a possibly normal marriage to a perfectly good person until his phone vibrated and he saw the name he was hoping he would never have to deal with again.
Mirin wanted to meet.
And if she had not texted to say it was urgent, Sae probably would’ve ignored it. But they spent a chunk of their youth together and it was way too much for him to forget all in a few days.
Still, he didn’t want to give in so easily.
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As the days passed, it was strange how easy it was to warm up to you. It was as though the friction between you never existed in the first place.
Somehow, it felt like the both of you were learning as you went through with it—a marriage where you both were learning to be friends first, and Sae never actually knew how much he needed that, how much he enjoyed it.
He didn’t think he’d like it one bit.
But there he was, constantly texting you most times because you were the only person he didn’t mind speaking to nowadays. Well, you and Rin. Maybe Oliver, but after his last stunt he didn’t really want to speak to him.
Sae sighed as he texted you that he’d be coming home late. The frames already came through the mail anyway, he suspected you’d have a good time hanging the photos up everywhere. You loved taking pictures that day after all.
“Wife checking up on you?”
Mirin’s question sounded innocent, but it was enough to irk Sae. To him, it sounded invasive.
“What did you need?” Because she didn’t need to know anything about you. Sae didn’t want her to; Mirin was in the past and he wanted to make sure it stayed that way.
This entire meeting was set up only because perhaps Sae thought she didn’t warrant herself a bad reception from him. She didn’t do anything wrong.
And neither was he, so why was he afraid to just be upfront with you and tell you about Mirin?
Seemingly taken aback by his tone, Mirin looked away nervously. This was a weird setting to be in for someone who said they were upset. Sae had expected a quiet cafe or maybe even a park, not a restaurant at a five-star hotel.
Then again, this was Mirin. Someone who had been brought up being able to enjoy everything to its finest.
“I just needed a friend, that’s all.”
A sure-fire way to earn his sympathy was right there in front of him. Sure, they might have drifted for a while, but it wasn’t like Sae thought she was a bad person. She always used to be strong on her own, steadfast, never needed anything or anyone that sometimes Sae felt like he wasn’t even needed.
Yet there she was, tears spilling down her face and trying to smile and suddenly Sae couldn’t continue being so harsh anymore.
A friend was all he was going to be. It was all he would allow himself to be. The entire night, all he could think about was how much he had missed this whole time—a lot had changed the last few years. The happy family he once knew Mirin’s to be was no more, an unfaithful mother took care of that. And apparently, her father had been on a downward spiral ever since. It was why she moved back, to take care of him.
“But sometimes it gets to be too much, you know?” She was sobbing, and Sae could only watch helplessly. It was not something he was familiar with, but he knew Mirin—she wasn’t someone who would share something like this to anyone. The fact she had called him out of the blue would allude to the fact that she didn’t want to tell anyone else.
It was a lot for him to take in; just imagining being in her shoes, having a father who spiralled into nothing and refused to get back to work, having to take care of him while managing her own shit—Sae didn’t know if he would be that filial at all, but then again, his father was a lot less of one than hers was.
“Anyway,” she sniffled, wiping her tears away and trying to smile. “How’s married life? Y/N, is it?”
Sae cleared his throat, realising that he probably had offered no words to Mirin’s predicament. It was a weird thing, talking to your ex about your current wife. It made him feel like he really shouldn’t be here somehow. “Yeah, that’s her, and it’s great.”
He wasn’t even going to bother masking the awkwardness of the subject.
And Mirin wasn’t going to let up.
“Is she… good to you?”
Good was an understatement. Sae thought you were phenomenal. You didn’t harbour any ill intentions toward him even though he deserved it. You didn’t treat him any harsher like he did you. You were an angel among the living and he should have been grovelling for someone like you but instead you’d been served on a silver platter and Sae knew all of that now.
The difference between how he would’ve treated Mirin before and after you appeared was enough proof of what, or who, he really wanted.
“She’s the best,” he answered honestly, and he felt just slightly bad when Mirin’s expression dropped. Something told him that she was expecting something else. That was when Sae felt the need to draw the line. “And I don’t think she would appreciate it if she knew I was out with… you.”
Across the table, Mirin shifted in her seat, visibly uncomfortable with his tone. She recognised it; it was when he was about to break some bad news. It was always directed to someone else but never to her.
“Listen, I’m sorry you’re going through all of this, really I am,” Sae started, averting his gaze because he wasn’t actually good with words—but if he intended for this to be goodbye, then he had to. “But I don’t think it would be a good idea if we met alone anymore.”
On Mirin’s end, she didn’t want to give up. Sae had been the better part of her youth and she didn’t want to give up their entire relationship or friendship or whatever it is to some girl who had been unknown to her until she got back and realised Karasu had been invited to the wedding and not her. That must’ve been you, was it not?
So she had to play this smart. She had to, to keep this thinning line of relation between her and Sae. As long as it was still there, there had to be a shot for her, right?
“No, you’re right, I’d feel bad too, I just… I didn’t have anyone to turn to recently and—”
“It’s fine,” Sae cut in, mainly because he didn’t want to have to hear her voice break anymore. It was clear cut in his head what they couldn’t be, what he didn’t want them to be anymore. Because he wanted that with you, or at least try at it. “I know Karasu’s been busy lately what with owning his first hotel and all but… Oliver’s a pretty good listener once you get to know him more, and Otoya… you know what, just stick with Oliver—he’s a better guy than he seems. And his family’s full of lawyers too so you guys might have a lot in common.”
Mirin could feel her whole world breaking into pieces right in front of her but there was no such thing as defeat in her dictionary. All she had to do was retreat and come back twice as strong, otherwise she might lose Sae for good.
So she nodded, as though she cared for who or what his friends could do for her. Sae was the only one she wanted to be around—that night at the karaoke room was just a failed attempt, that was all.
“Yeah, sure, I’ll take your word for it,” Mirin smiled through her pain, fingers fisting at the hem of her dress. He didn’t even bother to compliment her tonight, or say anything of substance. This was not the Sae she knew, and she wanted to bring him back.
That was why, that night when she got back home (and she was absolutely miserable at how Sae didn’t even offer to drive her back, instead just staying with her until she hailed a cab), she used everything at her family’s disposal to find out more about you. You and your family and Mirin wouldn’t stop until she found out what could possibly make you break.
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If there was something Sae would want answers to, it was how he went from having not a single care in the world to give you, to giving you more than he ever even gave himself. He didn’t know if it even seemed that way to you, but it was.
After he got back that night, it was as though you’d constructed a wall between the both of you. Sae could feel you pulling away a little, and he didn’t know why—all he knew was that he didn’t want you to drift. He hadn’t even gotten that close yet, and he wanted to know more about you.
Was it a crime that he couldn’t express himself properly?
It was unfathomable how he was here in the kitchen in the middle of the day, trying to cook dinner for when you got back from meeting Reo. He frowned a little just upon remembering that. Was this jealousy? Only because he was sure by the way Reo was looking at you on your wedding day that there were some hidden feelings there.
On his part, for sure. For you? Sae couldn’t be sure. He could only hope not.
But he wouldn’t discount you from getting a divorce when he saw the mess he ended up making in the kitchen, especially that charcoal-stained wall behind the stove.
Fuck, was he really this bad at anything related to maintaining the household?
Fish was cooked to fuck so he couldn’t serve that anymore. Chicken got burnt on the grill because Sae couldn’t tell when it was done for the life of him. The only thing that was left was the soup and it was still boiling on the stove so at least not all was lost.
At that moment, Sae felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and immediately picked it up, moving himself to the balcony in case you got home early.
“Oliver, find anything out?”
Over the line, Oliver scoffed. “Saw the dad going to the bank, think he went to take whatever was in his safe deposit box. Mother was there too.”
Through the phone, Sae could still tell Oliver was smoking. He still remembered how much smoke would fill his car whenever he rode with him. There was a long pause as Sae tried to gather his thoughts.
“So, Itoshi Sae had a change of heart, huh?” Oliver’s teasing voice rang loud over the line.
Sae rolled his eyes, somewhat regretting asking the guy for a favour.
“What about Mirin? Still ditching her all the time?”
Sae wouldn’t call it ditching. He just… kept rejecting every single time she’d ask him out. Sure, she kept it in line with what he had told her last time, which was to not hang out alone, but Sae didn’t necessarily hang out together in a group either.
“You know, she—”
“Don’t care,” Sae interjected.
“Oh? Really? What if—”
“Don’t wanna hear anything about her, if you don’t mind.” And he was being completely honest. Sure, she kept responding to his stories and he was being nice by giving them a reaction, and sometimes she kept trying to text him although he barely gave any good responses—but that was the extent of their friendship right now, as far as Sae would allow it.
Oliver chuckled through the phone, hands up in surrender even though no one would see it. “Fine, have it your way.”
“Just tell me if you find anything else,” Sae muttered, completely exhausted from having to deal with anything related to Mirin and for once, Oliver was surprised.
“Aye aye, sir,” Oliver murmured sarcastically before hanging up. 
The Sae he knew before you would never be caught dead trying to push Mirin away. Sighing, Oliver drove away, losing sight of your parents from his rearview mirror.
“Just don’t say I didn’t try to warn you, Sae.”
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Maybe the tickets his parents gave him to celebrate the honeymoon in Korea was a huge blessing in disguise. From looking at you being excited all through the airport just because everyone had been calling you Mrs Itoshi and Sae had been addressing you as his wife, to actually landing in Incheon airport and watching you hop like a child—he thought maybe your earlier distance was just a phase.
Until, of course, you suggested that you both do solo trips.
To which Sae had been mostly deadpan, but not because he didn’t care—more like he was stumped. This was a honeymoon. For the both of you. Was this you trying to push him away? And if so, what for?
So Sae wasn’t going to let that get in the way. He didn’t outright reject your idea. But he could go along with it. You could go wherever you wanted to go, and Sae would tag along behind you.
He wasn’t going to let you wander around solo when you were supposed to spend time enjoying this foreign place together. And Mirin was especially not going to be able to guilt trip him into entertaining her while he was there by using their old plans against him.
When he tried to be her friend and texted her back with actual words for once, Mirin had somehow steered the entire conversation into dangerous territory; like how Mirin had once told Sae she wanted to visit Korea with him someday and that she asked if it was too much to still want to go.
Of course, he had said Oliver would be more than happy to take her there (to which she had sent a sad face that he happily ignored). Still, it sucked when he was trying to find a balance between being a friend and learning to be a good husband.
So there he was, following you around shamelessly even though he knew you kept looking behind to make sure that he was, in fact, actually following you. Sometimes it was hard to keep his snicker in. You looked half in shock yet half relieved.
It was more enjoyable with you than he thought it would be. He had absolutely zero expectations, especially when he had heard so much about knowing people’s true nature once you go on a trip with them—but you were more than fine.
Sae was starting to silently thank his parents for forcing you together. He got to see your smiles way up close, and it was nice to keep you close to him, and he liked the way you smelled that he memorised your perfume when you went in to that makeup store earlier.
That was why when night came and the both of you got back to the hotel, Sae had been more than a little regretful that he had asked the staff to prepare an extra mattress. Was it bad he wanted to sleep with you?
In the end, he only shook his head and vanquished the question from his head. He didn’t want to risk making you too uncomfortable.
“It’s nothing, goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Sae.”
And he watched as you walked away, wondering if your disappointment was all in his head.
The next few days of the honeymoon went well—until a flurry of notifications popped up while the two of you were playing on his phone; Oliver’s personal important ones mixed with Mirin’s loud ones in the group chat. He didn’t give one shit about the latter, but Oliver’s is what he couldn’t let you see. Not yet, anyway, when it was just based on a hunch.
“Hey Oliver, what is it?” 
“They’re definitely fishy, my guy said they’d been moving money around, no idea where though.”
Sae spent that entire evening theorising with Oliver on what it could be—and by the time he came back in, you’d passed out in your bed, probably exhausted from walking too much that day. Somehow, it felt rewarding to be able to tuck you in, and maybe it was greedy but he kissed you lightly on the forehead before he shut the lights.
Yeah, he’d definitely protect you, no matter what.
But there was something he couldn’t understand somehow, when he thought everything was going fine—why were you distancing yourself again?
The last few days of the trip felt wrong, and especially the last night when he could hear you sniffling through the door. It worried him more than he was when it was Mirin, and if that wasn’t enough proof to himself that you were slowly becoming irreplaceable in his life then he didn’t know what was.
That was why he gave in and called the only person he knew who could help—Reo. No matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, after being your best friend your whole life, he would probably know best. Sustaining his own ego came last to him when it involved you.
“You better not have done something wrong to Y/N or I swear to god—”
“Hello to you too, Reo.”
Reo sighed, and Sae didn’t blame his hostile tone. You probably confided in him for everything and Sae was undoubtedly one of those things.
“So? What is it?” The purple-haired one’s reluctance to speak to Sae showed, and Sae had to swallow every bit of pride down because he had to ask.
Turned out, Reo was more than willing to share. Only because it was for you, he said. And Sae suddenly felt like an ass for feeling a pang of jealousy. Reo knew you in certain emotionally intimate ways that Sae had yet to learn; he knew what you wanted people to do when you were in different moods, he knew how you wanted to be treated.
That was why Sae couldn’t help himself.
“Reo, are you in love with Y/N?” Sae chose your name instead of calling you his wife—there was a part of him that felt possessiveness in this sense would make him sound like more of a douche than he already seemed to be.
“Relax, I’m not gonna steal her from you or anything,” he laughed, although Sae noted he didn’t answer the question. “But… just letting you know, she has a ton of other options.”
After Reo hung up, Sae stared at the open chat thread on his screen. A picture of you and Reo, making it seem like the two of you were kissing, sent to Sae from an anonymous number. More than questionable, and Sae had tiny specks of doubt before now—wasn’t it natural to be sceptical in situations like these? But now he knew it was stupid. It was stupid because if not Reo, then he should know you enough to trust you wouldn’t do such a thing.
Same as Sae.
Maybe there were things you weren’t ready to tell each other, but now you had the rest of your lives to do so. Sae sure as hell wanted to keep you for that long at the least. So that night he found himself promising you that he would stay, because it was the honest truth. He would stick by you no matter what. After all, he fell in love with you before he even knew it.
And maybe one day, he’ll have the guts to say it.
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Just when Sae thought he had had enough troubles for a while, what with your parents showing him their true colours (whether you caught on to it or not)—life threw him another curveball. One in the form of his old flame, casually showing up at his doorstep even though he never once told her the address.
“Mirin? What are you doing here?”
And she was wearing that same old face of hers, the sad one, the one that looked like she was just seconds away from breaking. Normally Sae would entertain her like he did that one night, for old times’ sake, but he was beginning to feel bad intentions and this—his ex-girlfriend being in the house you two shared—was definitely something you would object to.
Instead of waiting for an invitation like a normal person, she barged in past Sae, helping herself to a seat by the island, head in her hands.
“I didn’t know where else to go, it’s just been getting worse,” Mirin was sniffling at that point, and Sae knew he was going to feel like a total ass, but he had to do what he had to do. She had mistaken his question as one of concern.
“I actually got an errand to run, so,” Sae lied through his teeth, dressed in a random oversized white tee and black shorts, though that didn’t stop him. He was genuinely sick and frankly, he was growing sick and tired of having to deal with someone who didn’t respect boundaries.
“Huh?”
“I gotta leave in a minute,” he muttered, going into the bedroom to grab a coat and his keys, slipping on his shoes afterwards at the entrance before turning to look up at Mirin. “Do… you wanna stay in here alone?”
Stumped, Mirin took a few seconds to form a proper response. “Um, no no, how about I run that errand with you? Two is better than one, right?” She was still smiling brightly, almost oblivious to Sae’s attitude.
Two was definitely not better than one, especially since all Sae intended to do was to drive around the block and come back when she was gone.
“Nah, it’s a personal matter, and I’m already late,” he said, sauntering out the front door, Mirin barely trailing behind before the door closed. 
Once they were in the lift, Sae caught Mirin sidling up next to him, and he had to exaggerate his coughing just to get her to distance herself. As the icing on top of the cake, he turned on his phone screen just to let her see the wallpaper he put of the both of you back in Korea, that picture where the both of you dressed up in front of the palace. Just to make sure she knew where his head was at.
“Need me to call you a cab home?” He asked, because he would—anything to get her out of here because Sae just didn’t want to give her any space in his life right now.
Of course, Sae knew Mirin well enough to know she was probably seething inside because she came all this way for nothing, but she masked it with a smile. “No it’s fine, I’ll help myself.”
True to her word, she did. Sae watched the cab turn down the other side of the road through his side mirror, and he was relieved more than anything. To think, just months ago he would’ve given anything to have her back in his life.
In the cab, Mirin’s tears weren’t those of upset, but more towards those of contempt. Just what kind of a spell did you have Sae under that he would treat her, the love of his life, so cruelly? To her, you could never be perfect, not for Sae. Because it was her. He told her so, once upon a time. In fact, how dare you get the dream honeymoon with Sae that she always wanted?
And even though she didn’t get much time with him today (because of course he was still acting up), she smiled to herself as she scrolled through her photos. She got what she came for, at least. A few pictures she took, both before and when Sae came out of the room.
Swiftly, Mirin went to her profile and posted a story—anything that seemed suspect enough would be fine. All she needed was a little luck and for the universe to propel you to look at her profile. Creating misunderstandings would just be the building block of you and Sae’s downfall, and then everything else would be easy peasy. Sae wouldn’t even stop her anyway—he unfollowed her a while ago. Whatever.
Yeah, everything would go her way just like it always did. Making Sae pine for her for so long couldn’t possibly be erased by someone such as yourself. Besides, if all else failed, Mirin already found out what she needed to about your family. If all else failed, she’d make sure to take you down.
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Was it all in his head?
You seemed a little more inquisitive than usual, and it looked like you were biting your tongue. Did you have something to say that you were afraid to?
“You can tell me anything if you ever need to, okay?” It was more to assure you that nothing you could ask him would ever be too much or too invasive because he honestly didn’t know what it could be—but you didn’t take it.
Was it a sensitive subject?
The entire time you were gone, he spent his time at home ignoring Oliver’s calls and mulling over the decision in his head; the decision to tell you everything that was going on with Mirin. It was getting too much, and he couldn’t tell what was going on in her head anymore—it was like he never knew her.
And… he owed you that, at the very least. You had been nothing but an angel to him, and you’d never been petty or vindictive and you were perfect. Just perfect.
Despite being surrounded by people like Oliver and Otoya who wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about it if they were in his shoes, and being brought up by people who lacked any sort of love for either of their sons, Sae knew that he had to tell you before it was too late. Before Mirin started sinking her claws into you and drove you crazy—being how she was right now, he wouldn’t put it past her to do that. Call it a gut feeling.
If she could just show up wherever she wanted impulsively, plus the amount of information she could get her hands on thanks to her father’s contacts, who knew what else she could do?
But speak of the devil and it shall show up at your door, because minutes later, instead of opening the door to your beautiful face and warm smile, Sae got only a sinister feeling.
“What do you want?”
This time, he didn’t bother hiding his disdain for seeing her anymore. She had been proving time and time again that she was only out for herself, and that was not the person Sae once loved.
She may as well be a stranger now.
Her frown lined her features, the furrow of her brows more defined than ever. Her expression was halfway between disbelief and upset. “Are you really going to treat me this way, Sae?”
“I thought we could still be friends, and that was stupid of me,” Sae said, being openly honest with her for once. “But we can’t.”
With her hand on the door as he tried to close it on her, Mirin was determined to keep it open. She wasn’t about to come all the way here for nothing again. Besides, she’d been posting conspicuously for days—surely now was a good time as ever to drive the wedge deeper between the two of you?
“Why? Because your petty wife won’t let us?”
Sae had never had to force his voice down as much as he had to right now. “Don’t you… ever say anything against her.” He turned on his heels, ready to get his coat and force her out of there until he heard the familiar clack of her heels storming in after him.
“You’re not seriously choosing that second-rate over me?” She spat, fists clenched at her sides, her purse thrown on the floor.
Silence was all he could give her because nothing that would come out of his mouth would be merciful. You were the most innocent of all and yet your name was getting dragged through the mud just because Mirin couldn’t wake up and realise that she was the only reason they drifted in the first place.
“Get out.” Soft. Simple. There was nothing else Sae had to say to her.
Mirin shook her head, adamant on seeing this conversation through to the end. She wasn’t going to leave until she got what she wanted. “You’ve seriously got a screw loose if you’re choosing that cheating whore over me.”
Sae’s head whipped over to glare at her, his self-control coming in extra handy tonight. He narrowed his gaze, the realisation dawning upon him.
“You were the one who sent that picture of her with Reo, weren’t you?” A redundant question; he didn’t need her to answer.
Judging by the triumphant smirk on her face, she didn’t need to say a thing. “Oh, I have a lot more where that came from,” she chuckled, sounding a lot like a villain out of a fairytale. Slowly, she inched closer to him, “come on, if she can have her fun, we can have ours, can’t we?”
Lunging forward, her lips connected with his as she caught him off guard, her arms wrapped around his neck, taking him a few seconds to pry off. Sae wasn’t even spared a second before she tried again, but he swerved this time, and she could only scoff.
“Are you fucking nuts?”
“I’d be careful with how you speak to me if I were you,” she threatened, and Sae was about to offer a rebuttal until she took her purse and shoved some documents in his hand. “This is what you had Oliver investigate, right?”
Sae swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked over them. It wasn’t what he asked of Oliver. This was way more in depth and way more messy than Sae had thought it was. There must’ve been an ongoing investigation that he wasn’t aware of. Either way, how did she—
“It was easy enough to steal it from him,” Mirin mused, straightening up. “It wasn’t his fault, I nicked it while he was asleep.”
Sae didn’t even want to think about the context of that situation. What was even more perplexing was how proud she sounded of it.
Taking a deep breath, he collected himself, making sure to hold onto the documents. Mirin grinned slightly, realising his intentions. “Don’t worry, I made sure to make copies,” she told him, winking.
“What do you want?”
“To talk. About everything. Or else I call for an official investigation into that.”
On one side, Sae felt that everything that had to be said was already said and done. On the other, Mirin wanted so desperately to hold onto the only thing she had been sure of at one point in her life that nothing was going to stop her.
It wasn’t like he had a choice—there was no way he was going to let her storm through your life like that. If there was a chance he could talk some sense into her, he had to try.
“Fine, give me a minute.”
Retreating to the bathroom to wash his face and get her damned lipstick stain off—something he no doubt would have to tell you about later because this has blown way out of proportion—he was almost done until he heard Mirin introducing herself and his heart sank.
Fuck, were you back already?
It wasn’t hard to tell you were completely taken aback by Mirin’s presence in the house. And if Sae had his way, he would tell you everything right here and right now but with the knowledge she held over your family, he wasn’t sure it was a wise idea to tip her over the edge right now. Her threat still loomed over him. 
Sae hated how she could take advantage of the situation and just make it seem even more suspicious—just how long had she been at this? He really should’ve just warned you about Mirin a long time ago.
“Do you trust me?”
“I don’t know, Sae. Can I?” For the first time, there was nothing but crisp coldness in your voice.
It stays with him even after he leaves, even when he follows Mirin to the bridge overlooking the waterfront. He’s decided; after tonight, there will not be any ties between him or Mirin, not after he actually witnessed how toxic she could get.
“This is far enough,” Sae tells her, stopping himself right before the row of shophouses that line the underside of the bridge. “What do you want from me?”
Mirin chuckles helplessly, caught between knowing everything she’s doing is futile and wanting to try anyway. “Are you kidding me, Sae?” The tears are already streaming down her face, and Sae is mostly just in awe of how quick she can go from menacing to heartbroken. “What do you think?”
He’s more than aware that there are a lot of unresolved things between the two of them—but that doesn’t change the fact that what Mirin wants, he can’t provide her with anymore. His silence is indicative enough that she can’t get her way no matter what she does. But in the face of someone she’s wanted her whole life, in the face of the only person she’s ever truly been genuine with in this lifetime, she finds that she can’t just accept that.
“You can’t tell me that I mean nothing to you,” Mirin murmurs, and it’s so quiet that Sae wonders if he was even meant to hear it.
On a normal day, Sae would feel sorry for her. They used to be a pair of lovebirds who planned out nearly their whole life together a long time ago. But she lost that right, she lost his sympathy the moment she started being exactly like her mother and trying to tamper with your life.
But maybe his hostility wasn’t a good way to deal with her, looking at all the backlash she’s caused, so Sae tries a different approach this time, even if he’s not particularly in the mood to be nice to her after all the trouble she’s caused.
“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” It’s partly true. Even if he didn’t do anything in particular, he imagines it must’ve been a shock to her when she came back to Japan and the guy who had claimed to want to wait for her had suddenly been married off. (But he wasn’t sorry for throwing her invitation away—to a certain extent, he felt that you didn’t deserve your future husband having such a distraction in the crowd. At the time.)
“Sae, I know you still love me, I know we can work this out, okay? Just give it a shot. Leave her and we can—”
“I can’t do that,” Sae cuts in, sighing because this is the few times in his life that his inability to express himself has led to inconveniences of this magnitude.
“Why? Whatever she or your parents have on you I’ll—”
“No, Mirin, I can’t because I love her,” Sae says, looking Mirin in the eyes and breaking her heart all over again. But he’d do anything for you, and right now all he wants is to go back to you. He wants to be with you and hear your cute laugh and tease you because you’re all he can ever think about nowadays. “I’m sorry but… I love my wife, and I’m not going to leave her, or let anything happen to her.”
Maybe it’s the absolute vulnerability that she can hear in his voice that makes her believe it. Sae doesn’t say things like that so easily, and maybe it’s the way she can see his eyes tearing up that she can tell it’s genuine no matter how much she doesn’t want it to be. He’s worried and in love and feeling overwhelmed. But Mirin’s not in the right state of mind and she fights back instead of admitting defeat.
“What about promising you’d wait for me, huh? What happened to that?”
By now, Mirin’s airing all her grievances, and Sae understands that enough to let it slide.
“I did, but we grew apart, didn’t we? You dated other guys, refused to try with me while I was still…” He avoids saying it.
“All the things we said we’d do together once we could finally have time to ourselves! Travelling, raising pets, picking out a house and going furniture shopping together, building a family because ours sucked,” she’s sobbing and Sae has to ignore the stares they’re getting from the few people that pass by.
“I still want that—”
“Then why—”
“With my wife.” He emphasises on this, and he’ll repeat it as many times as he needs to. “With Y/N. Her, and no one else.”
It’s his absolute indifference towards Mirin that jars her, because in this world, he was the only one she could count on, and now even that was gone. And right now, all she feels is hatred for you, for the one who stole him from right under her nose.
“Even if I tell you I’ll raze her whole family to the ground?” Mirin threatens with a scowl, igniting the combativeness inside of him.
Sae scoffs, shaking his head in disappointment. Nothing is going to get through to her. Not like this. He stuffs his hands in his pocket, “you can try, but I’ll be right there defending her with everything I got.”
Those teal eyes that used to look at her softly than they had anything else, his soft locks that she could once twirl her fingers through—they now belonged to you. They belong to you and they’re slipping away from her as Sae deigns to say any sort of goodbye, instead just walking off in silence as he tries to get back to you.
Ignoring Mirin’s cries of his name and the threats she’s hurling, he tries to call your phone but you’re not picking up—and that’s enough to make him run.
You’re not in the apartment, and some of your things are gone and since when did he even start to take notice of small little things like your favourite face towel that hangs on the side of the sink or your trusty furry headband that you liked to use hung beside the mirror? Those small little things are missing and for once, Sae’s afraid.
“Come on, pick up pick up,” Sae mutters under his breath as he drives around the neighbourhood, hoping he’d catch you somewhere. He ignores the string of calls he gets from Karasu, only to call him back when he gets a text: oi, pick up, idiot. your wife just booked a room here, you guys ok?
Thank god for coincidences like this or else Sae would’ve spent the entire time you were away wallowing in agony (silently).
It’s easy enough to find you after that, his feet running the most it has in a while—his ankles hurt and his knees feel weak, especially where they’re injured, but you’re worth every injury he has to make. And his heart does somersaults when he finally lays eyes on you, but then it plummets to the ground when he hears the word divorce.
Minutes later you’re running away from him, and he chases after you again—he’ll chase you however long he has to because this is all one big misunderstanding and he has to clear it up because he needs you in his life. Right now and forever. Just like he vowed to you on your wedding day.
The entire night has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it was naive of Sae to think it was done because the next thing he knows, he sees Mirin throw a half-empty cup of yoghurt at you (along with her vile insults), and your face is absolutely dazed.
Shit. This is all his fault and he’s really, really sorry to you.
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WHERE WE LEFT OFF
The walk back to your hotel suite is deafeningly silent.
Subtle lavender fills your noses as you enter the hotel lobby, though you can’t get the smell of greek yoghurt out of your nostrils.
You wonder where Karasu took Mirin to.
Not that you care about her. You just want to make sure you don’t see her. If you do, you might actually slap her.
You’re not sure if you want to try and fight her lawyers. Not sure if you want to give her reason to lord over you. At least, not as much as she did you.
When you enter the lift, you realise that Sae’s been unrelentingly close to you. His arms always brush against yours because he won’t leave so much as a gap between the two of you. Like he wants to catch you if you run.
Not in the creepy way, though. Not to you.
His hair is still slightly matted to his face; must’ve been the result of chasing after you. You’re a little perplexed, and you’re a little strict with yourself—you can’t back down later when you’re questioning him, and you have to remind yourself of this.
Because this marriage isn’t surviving another day if you don’t understand their… relationship.
Surely you’re not just being completely illiterate, right?
From what you’d been told, Sae and Mirin were each other’s first loves. That isn’t what you’re pressed about though, because he could so easily think the same about you and Reo, if the roles were reversed. What you are still pressed about is whether Sae’s intentions still hold true: is he still waiting for her? For the right time to be with her?
His earlier confession still repeats itself in your head. It could just as easily be a complete lie. You don’t want to hold onto it for fear of being disappointed.
Sae had been waiting for Mirin before the arranged marriage thwarted his plans. He had refused to give you any sort of acknowledgement as his actual wife until, well, your honeymoon, you guess. And even then, you still saw Mirin talking to him. Even then, he had to make suspicious calls in the night.
The worst part is when you saw her happily posting in your house. In the apartment where it’s supposed to be for you and your husband yet your husband and his former lover were in there when you were out working.
The moment you enter the suite, you toss his coat on top of one of the chairs and retreat to the bathroom, more than eager to change out of your Mirin-stained clothes.
Your husband’s waiting awkwardly outside the bathroom door by the time you get out, hands in his pockets, sheepishly averting his gaze as though he has the right to be the one acting nervous right now.
He takes a seat beside you on the bed, although you want nothing more than to just have time to yourself right now. On Sae’s part, he’s usually an advocate for this. He would’ve let you be alone any other time but right now. Because he feels that if he lets you, he’d lose you.
And this is selfishness in a way he hasn’t experienced and he doesn’t know why but he knows that he needs you with him.
“How many times?”
Sae finds himself stumped at your question. Your voice is quivering, but you’re trying to stand your ground. “Of what?”
For a change, you’re the one with the firm, demanding voice and he’s the one sounding meek. But for all your hostility, you still let him hold your hand. It makes Sae want to hold onto hope.
“How many times have you cheated on me?”
“What?”
He’s anticipated many things from you, many questions about his history and why you saw him the way you did earlier that night, but consider him stumped when he heard the words fly out of your mouth.
Cheating?
Have you been in agony over such a question all this time?
And suddenly he feels an overwhelming amount of guilt wash over him. Sure, he’s known that he would be bad at these things, at communicating when it’s not a sport, at understanding your feelings, at being a damn husband in a marriage that he initially loathed. But he didn’t know it would be this bad, that he would’ve made you feel this insecure.
Right now, you’re seething, and rightfully so because he must’ve done so many things wrong to make you think that way, to make you feel so sure of it too.
You’re still waiting for an answer, fists clenched at your side, the familiar mirth in your expression that Sae’s grown used to is tucked away safely in a place you don’t want him to reach.
“Well? Tell me, because I don’t want a marriage where I’m constantly a second choice. How many times have you—”
“I didn’t, I swear.”
The words come out of him in a hurry; there’s a flurry of emotions inside him, mainly one of fear—since when did he become afraid to lose you? It wasn’t something he was consciously aware of and yet it’s surfacing right now. He doesn’t want you to think that way anymore, that he’d do anything behind your back that would far disgrace your status as his wife.
It takes you a while to collect your thoughts, because Sae can see your shoulders relaxing, your fists unclenching. Your brows are furrowed, and he knows it’s because you’re afraid to just trust him. With good reason.
“How can I believe that?”
Your voice has lost its earlier edge, and now all that remains is the fragments of your hope—hope that somehow you can make it through this. Together.
Sae takes a step forward, daring to pull you into his arms, his mind filled with just you you you. Like it has been for a bulk of the time recently. 
“I’ll tell you what you wanna know, anything.” He’s aware it doesn’t come close to the damages done, but he’ll try. He’ll try for the rest of his life if he has to.
“Everything. Tell me everything.”
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And everything it was.
Sae answered everything you wanted him to, no holds barred. Mostly it was everything about Mirin, because that’s what’s been bugging you the most. And it was a lot. Somehow, you believe him, every single word.
He was stupid for keeping it to himself, yes. But you kept Reo and that picture to yourself too, and maybe you can understand why he had initially been afraid to say anything.
You’re both sitting on the bed, facing each other, Sae’s voice nearly cracking from all the talking he’s been doing. His hand slowly reaches out to yours, the tension in his shoulders letting go when your fingers grasp onto his. Can he take that to mean you don’t completely hate him?
“I’m really, really sorry,” Sae says, softly, gazing at the mattress because he still doesn’t even know if he deserves your acceptance. “I really do love you, Y/N, and I don’t want a…” divorce. 
Is it because you’re too nice that you already want to forgive him? It’s all just a domino effect that got way too big. Still, you can’t make this a habit, so you stand your ground.
“I just… I want this to be a marriage where we can be open and completely honest with one another,” you say, lost in your thoughts, knowing that you’re not completely innocent yourself, and ashamed even more to know that Sae had known about the misleading picture of you and Reo all along yet choosing to trust you wholeheartedly anyway. “But I think there’s a lot of work we both need to do.”
Sae takes it hopefully. “Then we’ll do it, together,” he tells you, and it’s hard not to smile at how genuine he’s being.
But before either of you can say much else, there’s a quiet knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Sae offers, walking to the door and sighing once he looks through the peephole. He’s ready to ignore until the knocks come again. Opening the door, he sees a slightly timid Mirin. “We don’t have anything else to say to each other.”
Mirin doesn’t even look at him, just gazes past him at nothing. “I didn’t come to talk to you,” she says, before her gaze lands on you. “I came here to talk to her.”
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taglist: @kimvmarvel @mxplesyrvp @yuzurins @futuristicxie @kiopanxp @k0z3me @y-sabell-a @sae1toshilover @xoxojisu @karmatiz @sagejin @minnieminnie00-got7 @hearts4heidi @shiinobu-x @n1uh @prepchuu @leeyzhuo @shidouryusm @tsukishiro-yue2402 @kaiserkisser @pookiebearcave @dcvilxswish @saeskiss @whtflrr @arminseas @raphsimp @saharei @danibxe @lectris00 @comet-kun @ishitam67 @gskill @sweet2wthsblog @astruoise @scaraslover @beaniedoodz @bersuadikotatua @idk-bro-gay @etoiile @sanzu-sanzu-sanzu @yourstrulyharu @noimnotttt @tinyfurytaco @bxddiebloss @biaonww @kunirayuna39 @sikuthealien @vollereix @notepadgirl16 @zareri @c4ttheart
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st4rtar0t · 2 months
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What will your future spouse love about you?
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I'm offering paid readings if you're interested please dm me.
let me know your thoughts in the comments and I hope you enjoy this reading.
PICTURE 1
hello there! the first thing I want you to know is that your future spouse will love you just the way you are. I mean they'll literally be so in love with you. they'll see perfection in your flaws, I see that you are some who loves learning and your fs will love this, they'll love the way you'll share information about your latest interests. they will love how ambitious you are about the things you love. they'll love the way your sense of responsibility however I also see that they'll want you to chill out sometimes. I see that they'll lobe your voice especially your morning voice and for some of you I also see that you may make cute or strange voices sometimes and they'll love that, they'll love the voices you'll make when you see a cute animal. I sense that you guys have a really expressive face and your future spouse will love that. they'll love how you can spice up any situation, they'll love your fun personality. I also see that you can finally be yourself around them because whenever you tired to be yourself, you felt judged because you guys have a naturally bubbly personality. honestly you guys are cinnamon rolls wrapped up as black pepper. you try to put up a tough front in front of others but on the inside you just want to be held in someone's arms like you're their whole world. rest assured because your wish will be fulfilled because they love you so much.
PICTURE 2
I hope you are doing well! the message I got while channelling for you was that they love the way you style your hair, I sense that you guys may like to experiment with your hair to find the style that suits you the best. I am also getting the message that they love your moles, you may have a really noticeable mole on your face, arms and neck. I also see that some of you may have really pretty hands and your future spouse will love them. they'll love massaging them too. they'll love how you are always ready to try something new, how you are not afraid of what's about to come and how you are always open to new possibilities. they'll love your adventurous soul. I am also picking up on the message that you guys have really big eyes, you may have soft features that make you look cute. they will love the way you are able to adapt to new situations really easily because I see that you will have to travel a lot with your future spouse, so you'll need to adapt to new places. they will also love your down to earth personality, they'll love how humble you are. they'll love the way you always treat others with kindness. In their eyes you are literally a blessing from god himself. they will love how protective you are of your loved ones because I see that your future spouse may have had a harsh childhood growing up, so your protectiveness makes them feel loved and cherished.
PICTURE 3
Hello! I sense that your future spouse is someone who has been through a lot of difficult situations and as a coping mechanism they use a cold exterior to save themselves from the outer world and they love the way they can be themselves around you. They love the way you can understand them without even saying anything at all. i also see that they love your independence. They love the way you both know what the other wants without saying anything. They love how unbiased you are, they love the way you can understand a situation from different perspectives. I see that your future spouse feels protected and understood in your presence. This message may be a bit strange but they love your family, they love your culture and the customs you follow, for some of you your future souse may be from different culture. your future spouse will love your straightforwardness, they love the way you always speak your mind. I see that they hate people pleasers because at some point they have been that way. I also see that they love your hospitality, they love how you are always ready to welcome people. I see that they love being babied by you but at the same time they loving they way you love them. to be honest I see that a lot of people have used them for their money, but they never have to worry about you using them for money because they are capable and independent.
I hope you enjoyed this reading!! and please leave suggestions for the readings you will like to see in future.
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eggluverz · 7 months
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halloween with the hsr boys
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pairing: dan heng; jing yuan; blade x reader
sof's note: guess who is in a halloweeny mood :> meee! and i'm sure a lot of y'all are as well so let's bask in these autumn vibes together LOL special shoutout to the anon who suggested dan heng would watch like 15 vids before he carves a pumpkin fhsjkghdf that is so accurate <3 pls enjoy and happy fall!!
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dan heng
not big on the spooky parts of halloween, but he loves getting in the halloween/autumn spirit by watching twitches and halloween town with you
you host a pumpkin carving contest on halloween eve between the two of you and dan heng 100% takes it seriously
days of prep before the big night, hours of youtube videos in his history… he even reads up on the origins of pumpkin carving—just to be fully immersed and prepared
when the time comes, dan heng has his tools lined up in the most efficient order as he readies himself to make his design
he, of course, wanted to carve a tree with maple leaves falling in the night sky
you stare at his template with wide eyes, quickly scrapping your happy face idea to think of something more creative…
noticing this, dan heng chuckles in amusement. “you don’t have to change your design to match mine”
you shake your head. “and risk losing the competition? no way”
“then may the best carver win”
when the two of you are done, you take a photo and send to your friends to vote
it was a close call, but dan heng ends up winning by two votes
“maybe i should’ve joined your pumpkin carving research…” you pout, staring between your finished product and his
“there’s always next year,” dan heng soothes, giving you a hug. “besides, you’re always the winner in my eyes.”
jing yuan
he would make all the pies for you
pumpkin pie, pecan pie, apple pie, sweet potato pie, apple crumble pie…you name it 
he doesn’t even know how to make pie he just googled a bunch of recipes and winged it
you think something tastes off but you try to encourage him anyway 
of course, jing yuan sees right through it
“it‘s not that i don’t like your baking, i really do, but i may have some suggestions for the future…”
“there is no need to sugarcoat your distaste, y/n,” he says with a laugh. “we can redo them together.”
the pies turn out even better the next time
the two of you end up picking up pie making as your fall-time hobby this year and bake pie for all your friends
he tries to make a mimi-safe pie as well
mimi hates it (pumpkin spice is not good on the lion’s tongue) 
but you think the effort is cute :> 
he ends halloween night off by sharing a yummy slice of apple crumble pie with whipped cream on top with you
“so sweet!” you state happily as he feeds you the first bite. 
jing yuan leans forward and smiles. “not as sweet as you” 
blade
goes all in for halloween
is dead instead most of the year, comes to life for the halloween spirit
he likes to decorate the house with you, even making a mini “haunted maze” in the driveway for the trick-or-treaters
accidentally makes a kid cry in it…
really, he just went in the maze to do a quick maintenance check, but he looked so menacing in his costume that a kid saw him and started crying 
blade is too confused about what happened to feel bad 
you give the kid extra candy and apologize to their parents while stifling a laugh at blade’s blank expression
“i didn’t even say ‘boo’,” he murmurs curiously.
you just pat him on the head and give him a kiss on the cheek
after the trick-or-treat shenanigans, you and blade relax and unwind on the comfort of your couch
his definition of unwinding on halloween is watching old horror movies
[or, if you cannot handle horror like me: he watches the barbie movies with you to help you take your mind off the halloween scares and go to sleep :3]
you cuddle him as you doze off while eating leftover halloween candy 
blade carries you to bed and tucks you in for the night bc you deserve a good night’s rest <3
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sgt-seabass · 11 months
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𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔
✧˚ · . a collaboration between @navybrat817 and sgt-seabass
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Is this the way it's got to be? Ignite the fire inside of me. Embrace the life of tragedy. A tide of war and broken dreams. (x)
pairing — bucky barnes x reader w/c — 6.3k this is a dark fic. 18+ only. listening to —♫3 am walk
warnings — bucky barnes is a sweetheart, implied (consensual) smut, kidnapping, assault, violence against reader, mention of bodily injury, stabbing, knives, blood, bad guys being cunts, hydra exists, degradation, threat of non-con, whump, threat of violence against an animal (but the animal is not touched or harmed), death threats a/n — after months of brainstorming and writing together with Navy, this has finally been born. this piece is part of a larger AU we made together, so watch this space for more in the future.
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Waking up next to Bucky was the easiest thing you ever did, because that was your happiest dream come true.
Even when his alarm blared before the sun had even considered rising, in the early hours when birds were still in their slumber, and the moon lit the bedroom with its ethereal glow, you would still give everything to wake up to the sleepy smile of your boyfriend.
You went to bed thinking of him as he ran his fingers down your back, helping ease you into a restful sleep, and you woke thinking of him as he tried to cover your eyes from his lit-up phone.
You both groaned, begging the stars for more time in bed. But as the incessant beeping filled the room, neither of you would get back to sleep soon.
Bucky was an Avenger. And that meant he had to go save the world. But that didn’t make it any easier when he had to leave for missions.
As Bucky leaned over to turn his phone off, you wrapped your arms around him, spooning him with your chin on his shoulder. “You could just stay home.”
Something in your gut was calling to you, warning you that he needed to stay home. It made you fearful. What if he got hurt?
In hindsight, it was you who needed the protection.
Bucky sighed, turning off the annoying buzzing of his phone. “You know I want to. But I can’t. Duty calls, sweetheart.”
God, you’d never get sick of the gravelly twinge to his voice in the mornings.
“Steve and Sam need backup,” he yawned, rolling over so he could cradle your head to his firm chest as he lay on his back, allowing you to smell the fading scent of his cologne.
“I’m sure they’ll be fine on their own,” you smiled, placing a kiss on his pec. Bucky’s habit of sleeping in only boxers always had you wanting to kiss him all over. Covering him in your affections was always tempting, even when he got shy, especially around his scarred shoulder.
“Baby, stop it,” Bucky almost whined, like a toddler tempted with treats. “Please don’t make this harder for me.”
“Sorry,” you placated, that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach not easing as your eyes adjusted to the dark room.
Outside, you could hear the occasional car and pedestrian. But for the most part, Brooklyn was asleep. It was a peaceful silence between you, enjoying each other’s touch while it began drizzling rain outside.
“Well, it’s raining. Now you’ll just have to stay home.” You cheekily nipped at Bucky’s side before shuffling up to kiss his stubbled cheek.
“Is that so?” Bucky chuckled, eyes crinkling in your favourite show of joy.
“Mhm. No missions on rainy days,” you said matter-of-factly with a serious look on your face, a look you couldn’t hold when Bucky tickled your sides. You burst into giggles, gasping softly when Bucky rolled you under him so he towered over you, your body caged between his bulky arms.
“That’s too bad. I thought you were going to have a fun day with Natalia.” Bucky’s hair fell forward and covered some of his face. But there was no missing his twinkling blue eyes, reflecting the lights outside in his orbs. “Weren’t you going to have a girls movie night?”
“Yes, but I’d rather you join us.” Your hands ran up his sides, feeling rippled muscle until you reached his neck and jaw. His stubble pricked at your fingers as you cupped his face.
“I don’t want to be the third wheel. What are you ‘gonna watch?” As he spoke, Bucky began placing gentle kisses on your cheek that trailed down your collarbone.
“Cruel Intentions,” you muttered, revelling in the feeling of his plush lips against your skin.
“You’ve shown me that one,” Bucky murmured against your neck. “That’s the one with the lesbian kissing scene, right?”
You rolled your eyes with mock offence. “Of course that’s the bit you remember. And it’s not just any kissing scene. It’s the legendary kiss between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair.”
Bucky pulled himself back up, raising his brows and trying, and failing, to hide his smirk. “Sorry, how could I forget.” His tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Let me see if I remember correctly. It goes like this, right?”
Your heart was ready to burst out of your chest when Bucky’s lips met yours. Morning breath be damned; there was simply nothing better than kissing Bucky Barnes.
He licked across your bottom lip before you opened your mouth to let him in. “Bucky…” You moaned, your tongues sliding together like a choreographed ballroom dance.
Your hands held his scruffy jaw while his hands, one cold and one warm, held your waist. You could always tell when he was getting aroused by the way he’d lose some motor control of his silver arm, the hand twitching and metal plates shifting.
In hindsight, you’d miss the way he’d hold you the most.
Bucky slowly pulled away, his metal hand rising so his thumb could brush over your spittle-smeared lips. “Something like that, right?”
“Yeah.” You breathed out before taking the digit into your mouth.
Even though he couldn’t feel it, you could see how Bucky’s pupils dilated as he watched you suck.
His metal arm had been used for so much evil. But you always wanted to remind him of who he was. Your lover, your best friend. Your everything. Just like you were to him.
You weren’t afraid, and you embraced every part of him. While many cowered away from the man with the metal arm, you gravitated towards him, as if your heart was connected to him with impenetrable strings of fate.
“God, I love you.” Bucky’s metal hand cupped your cheek, his breath hitching for a moment as he gazed at you, as if so full of emotion his words were caught in his throat.
You placed your palm over his hand, snuggling into the cold metal like it was a warm hug. “I love you too, Bucky baby.”
An embarrassed flush spread over Bucky’s cheeks as it always did when you spoke to him sweetly. He might have been a soldier, but he was still a soft romantic at heart.
With the pitter-patter of rain against the window, the room no more than illuminated shadows, you were entirely enraptured by Bucky. You both stayed silent, just soaking in the moment as sparks flew. Even though you’d been together for two years, the chemistry was still like the first day you met. The first time you kissed. The first day you fucked.
The world around you was dark, yet you weren’t scared because Bucky was there.
The languid movement of Bucky’s lips to yours was tender, a familiar movement that he’d done so many times before. Feathery light, yet full of heat, he brushed his lips over yours. “I wish you could come with me.”
“I could stay in the jet.” You offered with sincerity. But that part of Bucky’s world wasn’t for you, you both knew that. You were no agent, a mere civilian with a super soldier boyfriend. But something told you that’s what drew Bucky to you, your normalcy. You gave him a chance at a life that had been stolen from him for so many years.
“I wouldn’t forgive myself if you got hurt. You’re safer here.”
In hindsight, he was very wrong.
Bucky captured your lips again, caressing and lingering in a way that had your heart fluttering and cheeks burning.
You tangled your hands into his locks, deepening the kiss. If he was going, you needed every moment you could get.
Bucky gripped your chin with his flesh hand, opening your mouth for him.
The sweetness turned sultry, and before long, Bucky was grinding himself against your pyjama-covered core.
Words couldn’t describe the desire that was awash in the room. Two lovers revelling in a happiness that was so rare, as if a million I love you’s were condensed into a single moment. No poet could describe this connection or the way it made you feel.
With Bucky’s embrace, you were home.
Bucky slowly trailed kisses down your neck, chest and stomach until he reached your pulsing pussy.
“I better tire you out before I go.” He smirked, cheeky as ever.
And tire you out, he did.
It wasn’t about his pleasure in that moment. He solely focused on you.
The way he moved his tongue, the way he pulled you apart, it was damn near artistic.
Steve may have been a painter, but Bucky was an artist in the act of love.
In hindsight, you should have cherished this moment more. Because it was the last happiness you would feel for some time.
The unease in your stomach began to grow in intensity as time passed, and by the time Bucky pulled himself away to get ready and leave, there were unexplainable chills wracking through you.
Bucky had done a thousand missions in your time together and had come home safe each time. Steve knew you’d likely kill him if something happened to Bucky. So why was this time different?
It was like your soul was trying to reach out and tell you something. But it must have been speaking another language, because you didn’t understand what was wrong.
You made the most of your fleeting time with Bucky before he left. He changed into his workout gear so he could kit up at the compound where most of the Avengers still resided, and Bucky had once lived. He didn’t leave many weapons in the home; you preferred it that way. The only one you knew of was the knife hidden under the couch, but you were sure there were other blades around.
Bucky had never told you why he didn’t live at the compound anymore, but Nat had hinted at tension between Bucky and Tony. You’d found it odd, given that Tony had been friendly to you each time you’d visited the compound.
But it wasn’t your business and didn’t matter to you anyway. You were content living with Bucky in your cosy apartment. There was more than enough space for both you and your fur child Alpine, plus a second bedroom for when Steve stayed over.
You snuggled into the duvet when Bucky left to make you a cup of tea before he headed off, and seeing as there was now a free spot, Alpine entered from the main area and took her chance to cosy up next to you. You pet the long-haired white cat as you waited, listening to her soft purrs to help ground you.
And when Bucky returned, you felt rather teary, your vision blurring as your emotions almost got the better of you. “Stay safe, please.”
Bucky set your earl grey down on the coaster on your bedside table before his concerned gaze turned to you. “I’ll be just fine. I’ll have my phone on me the whole time.”
“Is the mission dangerous?” You couldn’t help but ask. But you always got the same answer.
“I can’t talk about it, baby. But I’ll be okay. I promise,” Bucky reassured you with a kiss on your forehead. “You and Alpine better hold down the fort for me, okay?”
“Yeah. We’re going to get up to lots of mischief,” you smiled the best you could, holding Bucky’s hand.
“That’s my girls.” Bucky gave Alpine a little scratch under her chin before doing the same to you. “I’ll be back before you know it. Now get some more sleep, soldier’s orders.”
“Yes, sergeant,” you mock saluted before Bucky kissed you and pulled away.
“I love you, doll,” Bucky called from the doorway, as if taking his chance to imprint the sight of you into his mind.
In hindsight, he should have looked a lot longer.
“I love you too,” you gave Bucky a little wave. Alpine meowed in her own show of affection.
And like that, he was gone; The final sound from him was the closing of the front door behind him.
You turned the television on for some white noise while you sipped at your tea before you did as you were told, allowing the talking of some trash reality show to become background noise as you fell back asleep. As you dozed off, you couldn’t help but notice one side of the bed a lot colder than when you first had awoken.
For the second time that day, you woke up. This time, the sunlight beamed through the open curtains, since Bucky loved being woken by the sun warming his skin. He hated being cold.
Next to you lay a napping Alpine, her fluffy body rising and falling slowly with each deep breath. You placed a hand on her side, smiling at the little yip that came from her in surprise. She rolled onto her back, deep blue eyes watching you as you gaily scritched her belly.
She took the chance to latch onto your hand, playfully holding onto your wrist while her feet kicked and teeth ran across your skin.
“Hey, silly goose. Let me go.” Your chastisement was light and playful. While you’d prefer waking up next to Bucky, Alpine was a good replacement on the lonely days. She was your family, just like Bucky.
When Alpine rolled back over with a tired huff, you decided to leave her to slumber. As much as you wanted to annoy her more, you didn’t want to push your luck and end up with a pissed off kitty. She was moody, just like her dad.
You slinked out of bed, taking a moment to stretch when your feet hit the cold floorboards. With a yawn, you looked around the room. You should really get a rug, but Bucky liked lying on the floors when he found the bed too soft. On those nights, you’d join him, even if it left your back stiff and sore.
Padded steps took you to the kitchen, your body on autopilot as you got Alpine’s food ready for when she got up. It was the same routine as every morning. Feed the cat, shower, and check your emails for new commissions.
In hindsight, you should have been paying more attention.
You hummed as you made your way to the bathroom, connecting your phone to the Bluetooth speakers so you could play some music while you tried to relax. Your mind would run without the interruption of songs. And you didn’t want to start thinking about work before you’d had a chance to breathe.
In hindsight, you shouldn’t have put the music so loud.
It was a luxury working from home, getting to pick your own hours. You had felt a little guilty when Bucky first proposed the idea of you quitting your crappy retail job to follow your dream of graphic design, as he could bare the brunt of the expenses.
But now you were flourishing; you were just grateful for his support. There were peaks and troughs like any job, but your heart was content sitting in your shared apartment, designing things that made the world a brighter place.
You turned the shower on, bopping along to your music as you shed yourself of your pyjamas and got into the tiled shower. You could have a bath, but you preferred to save those moments for when Bucky could join you.
The hot water made you hiss at first before your body acclimatised, skin heating up as the stream washed over you.
You faced the wall, resting your head on the tile as the spray rushed down your back.
In hindsight, you should have turned around.
The consequence of your various decisions throughout the morning came to a startling precipice.
With no idea of your surroundings, you were surprised when someone looped their arms under your armpits and over your shoulders, hauling you backwards.
You didn’t even scream for a moment, your brain unable to catch up before the adrenaline kicked in full force.
The assailant didn’t speak, which almost made it worse, as he started to walk backwards with your back to his chest, arms locked over your front. More than ever, you really wished you’d taken Bucky up on those self-defence classes.
“Thanks, Buck. But I’ll never use them.”
“I just want to keep you safe.”
“I am safe. My boyfriend is an Avenger, remember?”
Fight or flight kicked in, and your screaming started. You kicked your feet up and planted your soles on the cold tiled wall. With all your strength, you pushed back like a springboard, sending you and your attacker hurtling backwards.
He let go as he fell, and while he fell through one glass pane of the shower, you fell through another. The force had the glass shattering, sending thousands of shards all over the room.
You scrunched your eyes closed, wailing when you stepped in the broken glass, pain shooting through you when the shards buried themselves into the soles of your feet. But a second attacker caught you before your body hit the sharp ground. The piercing pain in your feet barely registered with how your body buzzed. Blood began to cover the floor, your essence coating the tiles a sickly red.
Your eyes shot open to see who caught you. A dirty blonde with a youthful grin. The man who had grabbed you first, another blonde with bright blue eyes and a scowl, had caught himself against the double sink.
Time froze for a moment when you looked at the door. There was another man with dark brown hair and an ominous expression, his features dark like his intent. Three men. You had no idea if more waited outside the door, but anything would be better than being stuck in this room.
“Nice catch, Damien,” the dark-haired man grinned.
“Yeah, no problem, Mads,” the man holding you spoke, chuckling like he wasn’t holding a hostage in his grip. “Not like Kage was any help.”
With them distracted, you bolted for the bathroom door, ignoring the way your feet tore with each step.
“Maddox! Grab her!” The man against the counter, Kage, yelled. Pushing himself off the marble to follow you.
You managed to duck under Maddox’s arms and stumbled into the kitchen. Your blood was already pooling on the ground with each step you took, like red footprints in the snow.
A meow caught your attention; Alpine stood in the bedroom doorway, her tail straight and her ears back against her head, the anxiety clear.
“Alpine! Hide under the bed,” you hissed, knowing you only had seconds before the unknown men came after you. If you were to die, there was no way you’d let them get Alpine too. Alpine stared at you momentarily, but as the tears welled in your eyes, she rushed off, perhaps understanding the weight of your command. This wasn’t belly scratches and joking around anymore.
You rushed for the knife block on the kitchen counter, but a hand on the back of your neck stopped you before you could reach it. “Nice try, bitch.”
Maddox gripped your neck and shoulders before he threw you over the kitchen counter, sending you rolling over and onto the bar stools that sat neatly on the other side. You tumbled to the ground, groaning instantly at the pain of the wood hitting you from multiple angles during your descent.
The trajectory sent you towards the dining table, and with Kage and Damien coming in close, you shot up and grabbed one of the dining chairs. You held it out like a weapon, with the legs facing outwards. Your breaths came out in short pants as tears trickled down your cheeks, while a shard of wood from the stool stuck out of your side. “What do you want? I don’t have any money, please.”
“Are you dumb enough to think we’re here for money?” Damien goaded, slowly closing in the distance between you two.
Maddox jumped the counter and landed behind you, boxing you in. With a scream, you threw the chair at Damien and attempted to flee under the dining table.
You squealed when Maddox grabbed your ankle, his grip harsh. You turned to look back at him, before you kicked him in the face with your free leg. He groaned in pain, and you didn’t check to see how bad you’d hurt him before you crawled out to the other side of the table.
Kage had been waiting for you, and when you reached him, he dealt a sharp kick to your side. The pain winded you, your mouth ajar with a shocked gasp before he kicked your ribs again.
You rolled onto your back, watching as Kage considered you from above. The way he looked at you – the malice. They were going to kill you. A woman could always sense the imposing threat that men had, for it was simply the female experience to be at the mercy of those who wanted to harm you.
You should have stopped Bucky from going – should have trusted your gut. Although, if these men wanted you dead, then there would only have been so much Bucky could do. He was a victim as much as you in the world of unfairness. A man out of time. A man who just wanted a semblance of normalcy.
It was mournful that his one good thing was becoming marred with the violence he had become so used to.
“I don’t want to die,” you wept under the man, pulling the wooden stake from your side with a cry of pain. "Please."
Turning over, you dragged your bloodied body towards your desk. The same desk you spent most of your days on. Your computer and sketchbooks were filled with hopes and dreams, colour and beautiful chaos.
Your ichor-covered hand grabbed onto the side, using it like a crutch to stand up. You couldn’t stop fighting. If you were going to perish, you’d go out swinging.
“You’re still trying? It’s pathetic. You can barely stand,” Kage growled as Damien and Maddox began wreaking havoc behind him. They were smashing and destroying everything in sight, demolishing the world you and Bucky had built with love and a cherishing touch.
“F.. Fuck you,” you weakly spat, legs burning with the need to sit down.
Kage snapped, grabbing you and dragging you across the desk. Your computer smashed onto the ground, along with all your notebooks and stationery. He threw you down on top of the mangled computer, allowing the glass of your screen to stick into your back. In a way, it wasn’t a new sensation anymore. The sharp piercing of your feet had dulled your body to the point where the new pain was no more than a sudden spike that turned into a dull ache.
“You think you’re special? You’re nothing. Not even worth expending energy on.” Kage left your side, and your sightline moved to the couch.
Bucky kept a knife under it.
Trying to not show your intention, you used your arms to pull yourself along the hardwoods towards the couch, while Maddox closed in and kept tapping your bare ass with the toe of his boot.
“I wonder what he likes about you,” Maddox considered. “Are you that good a fuck? Do you cook him meals just like the old days, huh? ‘Cause to me, you just seem like a puny helpless girl. There’s no fun in killing someone who might as well be already dead.”
His taunts made your blood boil, and when you reached the corner of the couch, you turned onto your back, facing the assailant. “Go fuck yourself. You don’t know anything.”
“Ah, see there’s a little fire. I like it when they fight back.” Maddox dropped to his knees, one on either side of your thighs so you were boxed in. “I want to watch the light drain from your eyes, see all that hope just whittle away to nothing. Because, like Kage said, you are nothing.”
He moved in closer, to the point where you could smell the stale whisky on his breath. “I wonder what body part your boyfriend will find first. Maybe I’ll put your head under the bed with your fucking cat. What do you think? Are you ready to die?”
You let out an almighty scream when you reached and grabbed the knife, pulling it out and slashing Maddox across the arm before he could react.
He was a lot faster than you, however, and the moment you got a hit in on him he jumped back, eyes turning a lot darker. “Oh, you’re fucking stupid.” He growled, before he quickly overpowered you.
In a struggle, you screamed and thrashed, but by bearing his weight onto you, Maddox could manoeuvre you. He picked you up, before slamming you back down onto the hardwood floors. Your head snapped back from the force, whacking against the ground with a loud crack. 
Everything went black for a moment, and by the time your vision came back, Maddox was squatting over you with the sole of his boot stepping on your wrist, the knife still in your grip.
“You really don’t know when to stop, huh? Can’t you see you’re going to lose no matter what you do?” Maddox’s boot pressed harder, and your wrist creaked uncomfortably under the pressure.
You let go of the knife just before your bones would reach the point of snapping, the metal clattering to the ground. Despite the tears in your eyes and the fear in your heart, you were thankful for the life you had. If this were to be the end of your existence, you were okay with that. Bucky had given you a life worth of love in the short two years you’d known him. 
As you watched the sharp eyes of the man above you, you thought of Bucky. You hoped this loss would not destroy him. The life you had experienced together would not change; those happy memories of laughter and smiles still there. You hoped he would not cry for you, but feel a blossoming love at the thought of you. Death wouldn’t have you becoming a ghost of a forgotten past, but a memory to be cherished in Bucky’s future. And you would be waiting for him on the other side, should he be expecting to see you there after his inevitable demise. You would be just around the corner, waiting like nothing had ever been lost. These men could try and take your body, but they would not take your soul. That belonged to the man thousands of miles away saving the world. “I’m not going to lose. I’ve already won.”
“Yeah? Does this feel like winning?” Maddox sneered before he picked up the blade and plunged the knife into your shoulder, the white-hot pain splintering through you like the broken glass of your shower. Your mouth opened into a silent, broken scream, the anguish unlike anything you’d felt before.
This was just a fraction of what Bucky had felt in his lifetime, yet this felt like the whole world was collapsing in on you, your body broken. Perhaps these men were right - maybe you were weak. Because the knife in your shoulder was enough to break you. Would Bucky be disappointed? Would he expect you to have put up more of a fight? The logical response would be no. But the blade slicing through your muscles made it hard to think straight.
Maddox slapped your cheek and twisted the blade. “I asked you a question, little bitch. Does this feel like you’re winning?”
Your choked cries painfully shook your shoulders, and despite it all, you nodded. “Yes. I’ve already won and you can’t take that from me.”
“Stupid fucking whore, listen to this slut. She really thinks she’s worth something.” Damien called out from behind Maddox, looking at you from over his shoulder. Kage joined the commotion, gazing at the knife lodged in your shoulder.
Without compassion, Maddox ripped the knife from your shoulder, your palms raising to try to press on the open wound. There was no reprieve with these men, however. Maddox grabbed your shoulders, ignoring your yelps and wails while he threw you over the back of the couch.
Your front dropped onto the sofa, while your ass stuck in the air on the stiff back of the couch. The fear that roiled inside you turned tenfold as Kage came up behind you, pressing on your lower back so your hips pressed painfully into the couch frame. Damien and Maddox came around your front, their crotches scarily close to your face.
“You know what we can take from you, though? Your dignity.” Kage’s hands moved from your back to the globes of your ass. “I could fuck you right here, and there’s nothing you could do about it.”
If the humiliation of being naked wasn’t enough, having the intruders touch you like this was an indignity that would change you forever. A small part of your golden soul blackened, and you didn’t know if it could ever be saved.
Damien gripped your chin, forcing you to look up at the two men. “And we could fuck that mouth of yours. Maybe even pull a few teeth if you dared fight.”
“I bet you’d love it. After all, you have to be all kinds of fucked up to fuck the Winter Soldier,” Kage said as his fingers moved to feel across your thighs.
“Don’t you dare speak about him like that. He’s more of a man than you three put together.” The mere mention of Bucky had your anger returning. You let out a huffed breath before you used the last of your depleting strength to lift your legs and kick Kage in the stomach. He didn’t move, body like a stone statue, but the movement pushed you over the couch and onto the living room floor. The plushness of the cushions did little to soften your fall, a whimpered breath coming from your tired body.
You were just so tired. The more blood you lost, the harder it was to keep going. As your ichor stained the rug below you, you glanced to the blackened television.
“Bucky, what are you doing on the floor? And is that all the stuff from the bed?”
“We’re having a pillow fort movie night. The popcorn is in the microwave.”
“It’s going to be a pain to put the bed back together, you know.”
“Then we’ll just have to sleep here. Don’t worry, I’m sure we can break it in. It’s one new surface I haven’t fucked you on yet.”
No. You couldn’t give up. You owed Bucky your best fight. You had no doubt he would do the same for you.
The assailants closed in again, the same dark-haired asshole taunting you with his menacing grin.
“Fuck you,” you spat, seeing red when he tried to grab you.
Most of the punches you threw didn’t land, but it didn’t matter to you. Your arms were a blur as you screamed and unleashed all the fury you had.
But they just laughed at your efforts. The blood loss had clearly taken full effect with the way you moved slower than you intended, your arms weakening quickly.
“Nice try, toy.” Maddox picked you up by the shoulders before throwing you into the wooden coffee table.
The thin tabletop cracked and fractured instantly, wood splintering around the dent your body left.
The pain had become immaterial, the agony reducing from a boil to a simmer as your ability to feel lessened to the point where nothing was at all. Perhaps it was your body protecting your psyche, or you were dying. Either way, it left you feeling somewhat euphoric.
"She still fighting?"
"Let her be. She isn't going anywhere."
"Dumb bitch thought she stood a chance."
Your dazed state had the men leaving you to finish trashing the house. With no immediate threat, you made your last-ditch attempt. You had to let Bucky know who killed you. You knew it would kill him to not know who attacked you.
Numbed, you took another look at the men. There was nothing too unusual about them, just their distinctive hair colours, eye colours and the symbol they all bore. You hadn’t noticed it at first, but now with your chance to inspect them, you sighted a circular insignia on the front of their black hoodies. A green… octopus?
When Damien threw a plate at you that shattered against your forearm when you raised it to defend yourself, your thoughts were cut off. The porcelain dropped around you, and you picked up one of the pieces. On it was a little drawing of a cat. You and Bucky had done a pottery art class and came home with a few plates. You picked up a second piece, a sob bubbling from your throat when you looked at the two fragments together. A little Alpine that you had drawn, and a little bird that Bucky had drawn with red wings.
You let the remnants of the plate drop to the ground, the once beautiful creation covered with your blood. They really were destroying everything. As Damien continued to vandalise the kitchen, Maddox and Damien tore apart your boxes of photos.
Even with the horror of having your life stripped away, you struggled to look away. You saw the green octopus again, and something in the back of your mind was trying to get out – to tell you what it meant.
The emblem was so familiar, and you turned onto your stomach as you thought. Pulling yourself to a free patch of hardwood flooring, you began writing out the word ‘blonde’ with your blood, trying to give Bucky anything you could.
Kage stopped you after the first word, and it was like there was cotton wool in your ears as he pulled your hand back. You assumed he said something to chastise you, but you didn’t register it.
You could see his expression, though. He was enjoying himself, laughing with his partners as he took your arms and dragged you on your back towards the front door.
When you looked up, you saw his hoodie closer, and that’s when it clicked. Hydra? But Hydra was red? And from what you heard on the news after the Triskelion incident, they were some power-crazed terrorist organisation bent on absolute control. What were they doing in your apartment? And why did they hate Bucky so much?
Bucky hadn’t told you much about his past, and part of you understood. You could tell by the vulnerable look in his eye that he was scared you’d leave him every time the Winter Soldier was brought up, which was rare.
All you knew was that he was under control as the Winter Soldier, and did some horrible things. But you never pressed, and you didn’t need to. You knew enough to know Bucky was a victim, and that was enough.
Good people like Sam and Natasha wouldn’t have continued to stand by him if Bucky was anything more than an innocent, manipulated prisoner of war. Steve would stand with Bucky regardless, but you didn’t blame him for that. Some relationships simply went further than right or wrong, innocent or guilty. Steve would stand by Bucky through thick and thin, just like you would.
But that didn’t explain why these men were here and tormenting you. This was more than just an attack – it was complete and utter destruction. The apartment was in ruins, completely desecrated.
Kage dragged and dumped your body against the entry wall, amongst the torn photos of you and Bucky. Your gaze turned to one where you were both smiling, huddling in close. It was taken on Steve’s birthday. You’d all thrown him a surprise party in the compound. You remember because Bucky had you both wear a comically bad Captain America t-shirt to tease him.
The photo, while tattered, was a reminder. While this moment was pure suffering, life was also full of moments that had your heart full of love. Life wasn’t always full of pain, and this torture was but a brief snapshot in the greater picture of your life.
Now, your heart hurt because you’d experienced such great love you knew what it was like to feel the loss. Tears trickled down your cheeks as you mourned what could have been. You should be experiencing many more birthdays and silly t-shirts, but it seemed that wasn’t what fate had planned for you.
The cries you let out were stricken with grief, and for the first time, the men went silent and just looked at you as if you were human, not just a toy for their enjoyment.
“Talk about a mood killer,” Damien sniggered, but Kage quickly raised his hand.
“Enough. Time to put her out of her misery.”
Your blood turned icy cold, dread settling in your stomach as you whimpered, too drained to run. “Please, don’t. Just leave me. I won’t tell anyone.” A blatant lie, but you had to try. You’d seen their faces, and that alone sealed your fate. "I don't want to die," you said more to yourself than to them.
“Pretty pictures. Too bad they’re a bit stained.” Maddox mocked as he picked up one of the discarded photo albums. It was the heaviest one, full of memories that were now soaked with your blood.
Maddox handed the album to Kage, unbothered by the drips of red that hit the floor. 
They all stood before you as Kage flipped through the pages, his features hardened. “He’s so happy. Let’s see if the monster smiles now.”
Kage slammed the book closed, sealing your fate between his hands. That part of your life was ending, and these three were writing your future.
There was no point pleading with them, and you were too devoid of energy to do more than sit with shallow breaths, awaiting your death.
But one last ounce of adrenaline coursed through your veins as you tried to keep your eyes open. "His name is Bu-"
Kage raised the photo album before slamming it down on your head. It knocked you out instantly, the world going black as your body toppled to the side.
But the reaper didn’t come. Your heart continued beating, lungs filling with air.
Your suffering was due to continue. This wasn’t the end.
624 notes · View notes
fishsticksloser · 4 months
Note
Can I request a reader x Future Donnie where Reader is being very stubborn and refusing to let him leave cuddles to work? Like clinging onto him, hanging off of him, etc etc just silly n fluffy?
-Shadow
Self-Care
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F!Donnie x gn!reader
Warnings: angst, Donnie is upset, fluff, exasperated Donatello, Kraang future, Donnie needs rest, swearing
A/N: Another late post? Crazy.... I'm very sorry it's so late...
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"Donnie?" You ask softly, your hands gently resting on his softshell. You press a soft kiss to the nape of his neck, his body tensing at your touch. His concentration breaks for a moment, turning his head to glance at you, a mix of surprise and irritation in his eys.
"Can't you see I'm in the middle of something here?" He snaps, his voice laced with annoyance. He tries to shrug your hands from his shell, not wanting any distractions. "I've got important work to do, so please, just let me focus." His words come out curt and dismissive, as if he's already moved from the brief interruption.
"You're tense..." You sigh, your hands moving to his shoulders. Donnie's body stiffens even more, his irritation growing.
"I said I don't need your help," he grumbles, his voice strained. "I'm perfectly capable of handling my own stress." His words come out sharp, laced with frustration. Despite his resistance, a small part of him secretly enjoys your touch, but he refuses to let it show.
"Obviously." Considering you haven't eaten all day... Or actually slept in 3." You point out, a tiny hint of sarcasm in your voice.
Donnie's eyes widen in surprise as you pull him away from his desk, effectively blocking his access to his work. He looks at you with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity, his irritation momentarily overshadowed by your actions.
"What are you doing?" He asks, a slight flicker of concern in his eyes. "I told you, I have important work to do. I don't have time for this." Deep down he knows you're right about his lack of self-care, but he's too stubborn to admit it.
"Bed. Now." You point over to your bedroom down, remaining firm as you know the excuses that will come from the stubborn turtle. Donnie's eye narrow at your words, his frustration growing once again.
"Excuse me?" He retorts, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Last time I checked, you don't get to boss me around." He crosses his arms, his stubborness rising to the surface. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myslef, thank you very much. I don't need you telling me what to do." Despite his defiant words, there's a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes, a hint of weariness that he's been trying to hide. He stands, his large form looming over you, but you don't back down. "I won't be treated like a child, and I won't be controlled. So let me get back to work."
"Absolutely not." You shake your head, you hold your ground, letting him know you didn't plan on moving. "Bed now, please."
"I'm not going to bed just because you say so," He answers, his voice firm and resolute. "I have work to do. I can't just abandon all of that because you think I need rest." He crosses his arms over his chest again, his stance unwavering. "I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself. I'm not some fragile creature that needs to be coddled." His words come out with a mix of determination and exasperation, his frustration palpable.
"You're such a stubborn ass..." You hugg, crossing your own arms. You knew he could very easily pick you up and move you, but both of you knew the other wouldn't give up. "You can't do your best if you're tired, if you're not eating. So go to bed."
Donnie's eyes narrow at your remark, his frustration reaching its boiling point. He takes a step closer, his towering figure casting a shadow over you. "Stubborn ass, huh?" He mutters, his voice laced with sarcasm. "Coming from someone who's just as stuborn as me." He shakes his head, a mix of irritation and admiration playing across his features. "I don't need you to tell me what's best for me," his voice defiant. "I know my limits, and I know how to push myself. I've been doing it my whole life." His voice tinged with stubborn pride, unwilling to admit he needs a break.
"I'm not going to let exhaustion or hunger stop me from doing what needs to get done." He takes another step closer, his voice lowering to a dangerous growl. "So, if you think you can boss me around and make me do what you want, you're sorely mistaken." He locks eyes with you, a challenge burning in his gaze. "If you want me to rest, you're going to have to make me."
"You know I can't..." You whisper, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Donnie. Please, you're destroying yourself by keeping this up. You haven't slept, you haven't eaten." Your hands hesitantly rise to cup his face, he doesn't pull away, allowing your hands to find their normal place on his cheeks. You see his nose wrinkle, anger filling his eyes. "I know you probably think I'm mean and you probably hate me right now. I honestly don't care what you call me, what you say to me. What matters is your well-being, not me."
Donnie's anger wavers for a moment as he looking into your pleading eyes. He can see the genuine concern etched across your face, and it gives hiim pause. Your words strike a nerve, resonating with a part of him that he often tries to bury beneath his stubbornness and pride. He takes a deep breath, his features softening slightly, but his guard remains up.
"Don't pretend like you know what's best for me," he mutters, his voice filled with vulnerability and defiance. His gaze flickers away from your, his jaw set in a stubborn line. "I can't afford to rest, to be weak. The Kraang won't wait for us to catch our breaths." He hesitates, his eyes darting back to you, his voice quieter. "I appreciate your concern. I know you're just trying to look out for me. Maybe... Maybe I've been too hard-headed."
"Fine." He finally conceds, his voice softer. "I'll rest. I'll eat." His lips quick into a small, weary smile. "But only because you asked, not because you're right. Got it?" he raises his an eyebrow, a hint of his usual sass returning.
As Donnie retreats to the bedroom, his mind is filled with conflicting thoughts and emotions. The weight of his own stubbornness and pride weigh heavily on his shoulders, and he can't help but feel a twinge of guilt for pushing you away. But the scientist in him, the part that is driven by the need to protect his family and defeat the Kraang tells him that he must priotize his work.
In the bedroom, he sits on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He knows he needs to rest, he knows that he can't continue pushing himself to the brink of exhaustion. But the fear of failure, the fear of letting his family down, gnaws at him. He want to prove himself, to be the one that saves the day, and he's afraid that if he takes a step back, he'll lose that chance.
His mind races, thoughts and emotions colliding in the chaotic mess. He knows he loves you, he knows you care about him deeply, but the tangled mess of his own insecurities prevents him from fully expressing it. He wants to reach out to you, offer some form of comfort, but he can't bring himself to do it.
Donnie's head turns as he hears the sound of the bedroom door opening. He freezes for a moment, his eyes locking on yours as you step into the room. There's a flicker of surprise in his gaze. He wasn't expecting you to follow him, to bridge the distance that had frown between you.
For a few heartbeats, the room is filled with heavy silence, hsi gaze searching yours as if trying to decipher your intentions. His lips part, as if he wants to speak, but he hesitates, uncertain of what to say.
Finally he breaks the silence, his voice tingerd with longing. "I... I didn't expect you to come in here," he admits, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before returning to meet yours. "I... I guess I thought you needed space from me. But if you're here, maybe we can talk. Maybe I can try to explain, try to make you understand." His voice cracks slightly, the vulnerability seeping through the cracks of his usually composed exterior. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what he's about to say.
"I'm sorry," He admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for not being able to fully express... Everything.I care about you, more than I can put into words. But sometimes... Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own fears that I forget to show it." His eyes never leave yours as he continues, his voice sincer and desperate. "I don't want to lose you. I don't want to be the reason you're hurting. I'm trying, I really am, to find a balance."
He reaches out tentaively, his hands overing in the space between you. "I don't know if you still want me, if you still belive in us. But if you do... If you're willing to give me another chance, I promise I'll work on showing you how much you mean to me." His hands tremble slightly, the vulnerability palpable. "Please," he whispers, his voice filled with hope and fear. "Please tell me we can find a way back to each other."
You step closer, allowing him to grab you hips, pulling you to stand between his legs. You craddle his face gently, shaking your head. "Space? From you?" With a surge of boldness, he leans in, capturing your lips in a tender kiss, pouring all of his love and longing into that single moment. It's a promise, a pledge to fight for your relationship, to never let you doubt his feelings again.
As the kiss lingers, he pulls back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. "I love you," he murmurs, his voice vulnerable and full of adoration. "And I'll spend the rest of my life showing you just how much."
"I love you too." You mumble, your lips finding his again, his heart soaring from your words. As your lips find his again, he surrenders himself to the slow tender kiss, a gentle sigh escaping his lips.
⋆。 ゚。☁︎👾。 ゚。⋆
Donnie's eyes flutter open, his mind slowly emerging from the depths of sleep. You whine softly as you feel the bed shift, Donnie sitting up to go back to the lab. You quickly stop the terapin, pulling him back down into bed with you. "Do you have to leave?"
"I have things I need to work on." He admits, his voice laced with regret. "There's always something that needs my attention, somethign I need to fix or improve."
"Well, I'm not allowing it." You huff, moving to lay on top of him. He knew very well that he could easily move you if he so desired, but he didn't.
Donnie lets out a soft chuckle as he wraps his arms around you. "You're a stubborn one, aren't you?" He teases, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "But I suppose, I'll stay here a little longer, just for you."
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prettieinpink · 5 months
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hii!! <3
I wanted to ask u if u know how to deal with a bad grade? I always get good grades and am a straight A student, but recently I got a bad grade and it's effecting my self esteem and I keep worrying and stressing about it :((
i'm not sure if u already posted something about this, if so, I'm sorry and u can just ignore this >.<
tysm and no pressure 💞
(btw I love ur blog smm!! it's so helpful! 💗🫶)
DEALING WITH A BAD GRADE
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1: SELF CARE 
Dealing with a grade that was unexpected for you, or above your standards can be a huge hit to our academic confidence. So, make sure not to treat yourself harshly because of one grade. 
DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. I know it may not seem like it now, but receiving one below-average grade is not the end of the world or your academic career, nor does it represent your abilities as a student.
That being said, do not ‘punish’ yourself for a bad grade. I see that it's from a point of wanting to improve, but it’s more harmful to believe that overworking yourself will improve your grade. 
VENT OR RANT. Whether you’re talking to a classmate, friend, or family or doing some way to document your feelings, just let it all out. It can be frustrating or stressful for us if we receive a bad grade, especially if we spend so long studying for it or it has a huge weighting. 
DETACH FROM THE GRADE, just temporarily. I’m not saying forget about it, but just put it on the back of the burner and focus on the present moment. If needed, do some things you enjoy to relax and relieve your stress.      
2: IMPROVING 
Everything that you want to do after having a bad grade, to prevent that in the future and to reconcile your mistakes. Remember that improvement is only there if you commit. 
LOOK FOR ERRORS. Were your study methods effective? Did you have instrumental understanding or rational understanding of the topic? Did you use your class time effectively? 
If you do receive your assessment/assignment back, look for the mistakes you made on it. Write it down and practice those later, even if you aren’t getting assessed on it shortly. It is better to understand now than to be confused later. 
ASK YOUR TEACHER. Ask them for feedback on the assessment, where you went wrong and how you can improve in the future. Listen to them, and apply what they say. 
Or, if you’re someone who doesn’t want to talk to their teacher, ask your peers who have a good understanding of that topic or got a high grade. 
REFLECT. Do you believe that this was the best grade you could’ve got, or were you able to work hard but just didn’t? Were there any externalities that affected your grade? How will you improve for next time?
3: FOR THE FUTURE
To make up for the bad grade, so it doesn’t affect your final one and to implement ways to make studying more effective.
BUILD GOOD STUDY HABITS. Flashcards before you sleep and when you wake, making your environment rid of all distractions and knowing what to do if you do not understand something etc. 
CREATE A STUDY SCHELDULE/ROUTINE. This is so you know what to study, when to study, for how long and how to study for that topic. You do not want to go into study sessions unprepared, as you’re just gonna waste time.
SEEK EXTRA CREDIT. Participating in class and doing extra assignments are ways to recover your final grade from your last one. Ask your teacher about this.
4: MOVE ON. That grade is in the past, and you are in the present. Use that present time wisely, so you can celebrate all of that hard work once you get your success. Do not waste your time dwelling on it and forgive yourself. 
Thank you for your support anonnie, it means so much to me.
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