#self image issues tw

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

anyway Sebastian holds some disdain for romance, until he has a S/O and a long-term relationship

it's not because he doesn't feel it at all

it's because he doesn't understand it

even the romantic feelings he feels himself, he doesn't really understand them

he either mistakes them for lust or just dismisses them as something silly and fleeting

and, often, they ARE fleeting for him; people don't stick around long enough for him to separate what's what and figure out if his feelings are genuine

the hell that he knows doesn't have soft, sappy, gentle LOVE. he doesn't understand romance because it isn't how most demons operate. lust? sure. a physical, selfish pleasure, or yet another means to an end to get what you want.

but romance? genuine care for another person, treating them with tenderness, and largely selfless when it's sincere?

he doesn't get it, because he's never been exposed to it in the demon world. even platonic love usually escapes him. his own mother didn't LOVE him, she just saw him as a little thing to control and have power over. none of his many sexual partners have LOVED him, it was strictly sex that he and they engaged it for nothing but a selfish release.

he wants to learn, or else he wouldn't have entered into an actual relationship in the first place.

he can see why someone would want him in a sexual context. he's attractive, he's charming, and he's good in bed. he knows very well that someone wants satisfaction from sex, and he knows how to satisfy another person.

he can't see why someone would want him in a romantic context. he can fake romantic gestures, but when he tries to make his own without mimicking someone else's, he feels like he fumbles it. why would anyone want to kiss his forehead softly, or hold his hand, or lie in bed cuddling instead of wanting him to fuck them into the mattress? WHY?

he doesn't understand it. he wants to, but he doesn't. he can't look at himself, in all his monstrous truth and jagged edges, and see what someone else sees that makes them want to treat him like some precious thing.

and, really, maybe it's BECAUSE he doesn't see anything worthy of actual love in himself that he desperately, desperately needs it.

#self image issues tw #mod post #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Sebastian #IT'S JUST. COMPLICATED. #this man is a demon in a human suit mimicking actual humans trying HARD to get it all right #he doesn't understand why someone who knows the truth would look at him in any kind of romantic way #to him it's like his S/O is saying “oh yeah. that's a monster. I'm gonna love it.” #he doesn't think there's one single actual REAL thing about him to love #and I dunno I honestly think that's just kinda sad #'poor little meow meow' has never been so accurate XD

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Aizetsu: *eating vegetables and pouting*

Muzan: What’s wrong with him? He’s sadder than normal.

Sekido: He’s on a health kick. He refuses to buy Lunchables even. I’m getting concerned.

Karaku: It’s honestly really troubling.

Urogi: He gave the ‘unhealthy’ food in our house to the hashira. I think someone offended him on his appearance.

Aizetsu: Gyokko said I’m ugly and fat!

Muzan: You aren’t. Please, Aizetsu, you’re worrying us with this. It doesn’t matter what you eat, your body won’t constitute it to anything but raw strength, please eat what you enjoy.

Aizetsu: I can buy more Lunchables?

Muzan: I’ll even buy you some Lunchables if you just eat something you like, okay?

Aizetsu: Okay!

Douma: …I think he’s the new favorite child.

Akaza: I’ve been demoted.

#demon slayer #aizetsu #muzan kibutsuji #sekido #karaku #urogi #douma #akaza #gyokko #incorrect demon slayer quotes #incorrect quotes #source: my brain #tw insecurity mention #tw body insecurity mention #tw self image issues mention

[cult-of-the-eye]

Flesh avatar!Martin fic

TW: severe body image issues, self hatred, negative self talk, body dysmorphia, body horror (ish), unhealthy one sided relationships

Jon wasn’t eating.

The level of Martin’s romantic obsession had never crossed the line of tracking someone’s eating habits, but it didn’t take a genius to see that whatever he was eating, it wasn’t enough. His own apple and snack bar combination had lasted him throughout secondary school, a certainty that he sincerely hoped wouldn’t change any time soon. But Jon needed it more than him.

Behind his desk, he felt small. He didn’t have to be aware of the flesh that hung off his limbs in jiggling masses, so he opted for something better. Something smaller. Jon was substantially smaller than him - a fact that he found overwhelming at first. He switched between the constant burning of awe of a lithe and sharp frame and the need to put his excess to use.

The line of sight from his desk to Jon’s office was cruelly clear. A hulking great wooden door between them, one that was the stumbling subject of many of his own poems. A foggy allegory of distance. It was a momentous occasion of sunshine when that door peeled open. Each time, Martin drank his fill of Jonathan Sims, but recently, it had left his mouth uncomfortably dry.

Today was one of those occasions. A forest green sweater vest hung off what only just passed off as a body. Lines cut beneath his deep brown eyes, distracting rather than highlighting. Cheekbones that once lifted a haughty expression only shadowed a much heavier one. Maybe this was just the rose tint that surrounded Jon, romanticising a time of crisis where Martin could justify stepping in. Or maybe Jon was actually not doing well. His body followed this line of thinking, footsteps treading heavily after Jon’s rabbit-footed paces, into the kitchen.

“Hi, Jon.”

Fat kids could only ever want to be one of three things when they grew up. Either utilise their size as a sign of comedy, strength or as softness. Anything else was unforgivable. Martin chose softness. He let that seep into his words, melting his body into the patches in the floor, so he would not trip.

“Martin.”

He lapped up the slight incline of his neck, a nod that contained a dizzying array of possibilities. Jon was clutching at a chipped mug as if it were his only anchor to the mortal world. Martin was inclined to believe that.

“I was wondering…”

The cupboard doors bristled against the hinges in the silence that followed. Jon did not expect further conversation. Neither did Martin.

“Yes?”

“I brought too much food.”

“Right.”

Now, Martin. Prove your value as a pile of meat.

“Would you like some?”

An apple. A peace offering. An organic bridge of sorts, nutrients shared from a body that doesn’t need it to a body that does. Almost parasitic. And Jon looked at it as such. With the disgust of someone offering to attach to him, to leach off of his energy and time.

“It’s just a fruit. It won’t kill you.”

Jon’s eyes sunk further into the past. Into whatever warren he had been dragged into, taking from him his edges and sanding down into the bare necessities. Martin only had one card left to play.

“I…please just take it, Jon?”

Sincerity.

Emotions are rarely seen in the fat kid. Emotions are frowned upon. They increase your size, your ability to be noticed, so reassuring or stoic or half-laughing are your only choices. This is a wildcard. Not even Jonathan Sims could predict his response. Unpredictable was something Martin could get used to being.

“...Sure, Martin.”

Jon gave Martin a wide berth while crossing the kitchen. As if he had grown suddenly and was unsure of his new dimensions. Martin felt no contortion of his size, standing, watching Jon walk away, biting the apple in his hand. There was no door to the kitchen, of any material, let alone wood. Nothing especially poetic about eating an apple in an office. Just a faint sense of hunger and a new willingness to do something about it.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #tma fic #tw body dysmorphia #tw body image issues #tw self hatred #jmart angst #angst #I WARNED YOU #i was in a...headspace...when i wrote this #im not trying to glorify obesity or self hatred or anything #before people start coming at me #im just trying to portray what flesh avatar martin would be like #in like s1/2 jmart #anyway #hope you enjoy!!

[awkward-tension-art]

Failure

Fell in love with the Headcanon that @giveintobrainrot came up with with vendetta Leon.

My man has been through a lot and I haven’t seen anyone talk about how that would affect him biologically.

no shame to anyone with any sort of performance issues. Especially if it’s tied to trauma. The human body is weird, and there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

wrote this with AFAB!reader in mind but I kept pronouns as gender neutral as possible.

I have a second ending for this saved lol

Warnings: self loathing, depressive thoughts, erectile dysfunction, brief mention of cum, sexual dysfunction, depression, angst, if I miss a warning shoot me a message

Minors get the hell out of here.

Leon knew he should be more involved. He knew that you wanted more. More energy. More excitement. More drive.

Your hips rolled slowly. Eyes closed in pleasure. Lips open to let out breathy moans.

Honestly, you could probably replace him with a dildo and have more fun. You most likely wouldn’t even notice a difference. Hell he wouldn’t judge you if you’d stop trying with him and instead preferred some rubber or plastic. You have needs after all and the agent wasn’t able to meet them.

He appreciated the effort though. The way you took away his fatigue for even a little bit. Sometimes he felt that you did this more for him than yourself. You’d wear a sexy little number, push him on the bed, and have your fun. Your full focus on him.

Your body moves in all the right ways. He did feel good, but not enough. It was barely enough to get him hard. Was it his age? The alcohol? Antidepressants? Or the years of living in a nightmare with endless exhaustion and pain?

Your fingertips stroked his cheek and Leon cracked open his eyes. He hadn’t even realized he closed them…

His gaze met yours, and you leaned down to kiss him.

Escape. That's what this was. You were giving him a momentary escape from the realities of the world.

Leon tried to focus on you. Your lips. Your moving hips. Your beautiful body. What you gave him…the work you put in while he just…laid there…

Damnit…

The Agent sighed, turning his face away. His eyes landed on the bedroom wall as his body went slack. He couldn’t do this tonight.

This has happened more times than he cared to count. His tired body gave up, right in the middle of sex. Each time you were forgiving and understanding, but that didn’t help the sting of embarrassment.

Your movements slowed, but you didn't get off. “Leon…” You whispered his name with such tenderness…

Did he deserve such kindness? He’s killed people. Innocent people. He’s ended the lives of people he swore to protect.

“Sorry…” He mumbled, unable to look at you. Embarrassment and shame burned in his chest. He couldn't bear to see the look on your face.

Disappointment. Sadness. Frustration. All things he expected from you. But he was too cowardly to confirm.

Why even try with him? You had no future with the agent. He couldn’t give you the slightest bit of enthusiasm anymore. There was no energy. No passion.

Fuck. He couldn’t give you the family you deserve. He wasn’t a loving husband who strived to gift you the world. Kids were off the table entirely. Even if he managed to finish, which was now rare, he couldn’t produce any seed. His genetics would die with him. Once he’s gone, there will be no proof of your love. No one to remember the love you shared.

Leon couldn’t face you. He couldn’t do it anymore. You deserve so much better than him. Self loathing drowned his entire form. It hurt to even breathe now.

“Leon…” your voice. God your voice. It was soft and loving. Every word dripped with understanding and patience. “Do you want to sleep?”

He nodded silently.

You slipped off his lap and laid beside him. He kept his back to you unable to see how you looked at him. You’d stare with such boredom. Or contempt.

God what if you hated him? All the agent is doing now is wasting your time. You could go and find someone much better than him. Someone would could meet your needs and-

Your lips were on his shoulder, pecking his scarred skin tenderly. With warm and loving arms, you reached around him to hold his hands, interlocking your fingers with his.

“I love you, Leon.” You whispered, “and I’m here for you, ok? I’m gonna stay right here for you.”

Why? Why? He wanted to scream that question. Why bother with him anymore? He was far from the man you’ve fallen in love with.

“I love you too.” He croaked. He wanted to tell you to move on. For your own happiness. But he was too selfish. You were a shred of light in his dark, dark world. And he couldn’t give you up. He clung to you desperately, wanting to hold onto the small comfort you could give his broken soul.

You gave him so much. But he couldn’t do the same to you.

“I love you so much…” he whispered, praying his voice remained steady. Doubtful, because everything else in his body failed him. Why would his vocal cords actually cooperate with what he wanted?

You held him tighter, giving away the fact that yes, his own voice betrayed him.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #resident evil x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #vendetta leon #resident evil vendetta #reader insert #angst #tw: self image issues #tw: mentions of trauma #tw: depressive thoughts

[hwsforeignrelations]

The duality of Alfred...

#hetalia #hws america #my art #tw ed #hes hasn't actually got an ed but just in case #this man has SERIOUS self image issues #like he VAIN AF but also incredibly unsure of himself #if alfred isn't kept constantly busy he falls into self destructive habits #like yknow picking himself apart in the mirror #welllll maybe the t i n i e s t bit if binging #i wouldn't call it an ed tho #just that he binges when upset #he bleaches his teeth AT LEAST once a week #manscapes #GAWD hes so fluckin obsessed w his teefs #its hard work singlehandedly keeping up hollywoods smile reputation #his weight fluctuates A TON cuz he doesn't really move during winter but them is beaching every day during summer #ALSO hc that if a nation doesn't like a tooth (cuz maybe it chipped or got cavities or sm) they just... yank it out #kinda like humans cutting their nails so they grow back better #.txt

[traumatizeddfox]

#traumacore #actuallytraumatized #vent art #trauma art #actuallymentallyill #tw self esteem #body image issues #body dysmorphia #ventcore #ok to reblog

[newtabfics]

Hello! I was wondering if you could write a Sidon X Reader, where the reader is struggling with her body image, mainly over stretch marks and feels insecure about Sidon seeing her body? Thank you for your time! <3

I was a bit hesitant on this one because I also have body image issues. I don't have stretch marks myself so I wouldn't know how to be self-conscious of this. I kept this more focused on being insecure about the body without saying what it actually is because of this. I'm sorry if this isn't your exact desire but I hope it scratches the itch.

Trigger warnings for body image issues. all tagged in case you wanna block this one. Below cut.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

It doesn't take long for Sidon to notice the way she flinches and reflexively covers herself in some way or form when people near her. She's hiding. But why would she hide all that beauty?

Sidon waits a long while, watching and noticing.

It's in the way she hides under clothes. The way she covers her mouth when she eats. The way she shies away from mirrors.

It's a day when Sidon finally snaps and comes into the room, planting her in front of a mirror.

"Why do you hate your body?" He asked outright. Her face told him he was right. The prince didn't wait for an answer as he knelt down so he was holding her, chin on her shoulder as he eyed her in the mirror. "You're my beautiful pearl. Please stop trying to hide the treasures you hold."

He doesn't listen to excuses, only the things she tells him, that people have said to her in her time in Hateno. He never knew there were also men and women as shallow as the tide pool.

"You shouldn't listen to them. Only to me," He said. "Because I look at you and I have to stop myself from devouring you outright. My Pearl is something I want to kiss and lick all over," He hummed, licking a long trail up the back of her neck for emphasis.

"Sidon," She whimpered as his hand clutched her hip.

"You are my pearl, Y/N. Let me worship your body as it deserves to be."

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

#prince sidon botw #prince sidon totk #drabble #prince sidon x f!reader #totk headcanon #trigger warning: body image #trigger warnings: body dysmorphia #yes i count any self image issues as dysmorphia #tw dysmorphia #ask request

[a-j-s-the-only]

where did your eating disorder come from?

my mother holds her stomach, laughing.

“woman!” My dad hoots from the kitchen bar countertop. “You need to go to the gym!”

she laughs, “I know, we both need to!” He bellows along with her. “We are fat!”

“well we wouldn’t be if you would stop buying the dessert cakes!” He gestures to her belly.

“I know! I promise this is the last time!” (She’s said that before)

mother holds her belly fold and jiggles it. Dad laughs.

I watch their interactions. I’m 2 feet away, in plain sight.

“where does your eating disorder come from?” My therapist asks.

“my mother and father.”

“but they know you have an eating disorder, why joke about it in-front of you?” Her head tilts in sympathy.

“that’s just how they are.”

#tw ed #tw ed descussion #tw ed diet #tw eating issues #tw #Tw ed vent #Tw eating disorder #tw fatphobia #tw body image #tw ana diary #tw disordered eating #tw restrictive ed #self h@rm #tw ana trigger #tw ana rant #tw anorexia

[jokerislandgirl32]

Ziolet Beach Picrew!

Here is the link!

So, I found this cute beach picrew, and I decided to do it with Zach and Violet! Because, uhhh yeah, Violet drags Zach with her to the Outer Banks beaches all the time. Due to his fair skin, Zach’s definitely wearing a t-shirt and swim trunks to the beach because Violet burned his swimsuit, hehe, oops. And Violet stepped out of her comfortable zone and wore a bikini with some encouragement from Zach.

Zach: “Why are you wearing shorts and a t-shirt to go to the beach?”

Violet: “Uhhh… So, we can match?”

Zach: “Hmmm, not very convincing, we both know you ‘accidentally’ burnt my swimsuit, so you loaned me some of your dad’s old beach clothes, what’s the real reason?”

Violet *anxiously avoiding eye contact*: “I just…I don’t want to show that much skin…”

Zach *mouth dropping in shock*: “What?!?”

Violet: “I have the stretch marks and scars from…well…the weight loss and gain, and the fall at camp, and HIM…I just don’t want you to have to see that…”

Zach: “Uhhh, what? Vi…none of that is your fault, and besides…I don’t care about the scars or stretch marks, they are beautiful, you are beautiful.”

Violet *sniffling*: “Thank you, Zach.”

I might just start dropping picrews with them, they are never *exactly* right for them (Zach’s too pale, they don’t have his goatee, and trying to get Violet’s hair color right is a nightmare), but picrews are so much fun, lol. I hope you all enjoy this!

#wild kratts #zach varmitech #wild kratts zach #violet varmitech #wild kratts oc #wild kratts au #wild violet au #ziolet #love zach varmitech #self ship #selfship #f/o x s/i #picrew #couple picrew #tw implied abuse #body image issues

[charzeewrites]

Sometimes I wonder if I would love myself more,

If I didn't look like the monster I call dad.

#original poem #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #quick write #free write #original writing #writing #queer poetry #queer poets #queer community #father #daddy issues #tw selfhate #self image #self image issues #i hate my dad #family issues #parental issues

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

you feel better now sam?

"..."

She...doesn't feel better, really. She stopped the heavy crying, sure, but she hasn't fully calmed down. It might take her some time...no one can blame her: personal jabs at her regarding her familial issues just...triggered something horrible in her, and she still feels very hurt. Now she's just tired...she needs the rest.

"...she's been crying for two hours, Alastor: we can't even calm her down."

"..."

"Alastor? Hon?"

"...I..."

...the smile on his face dropped the moment Sam closed her eyes, and he wiped her tears.

He had to stay strong for his little girl...his little girl. He never would've thought he would use those three words when speaking about her. Yet he simply did so, and it made him all the more soft. She was sweet, quiet, and had bursts of energy: he admired that. She was a good dancer, a singer, and loved anything about the Roaring Twenties: but she clung to him and trusted him, and that's what drew him to her.

This was his adoptive daughter now...his and DT's. He had to show her love, and not break promises. She didn't have to worry about him and DT drinking...which was good.

He was swarmed in his thoughts, he was tuning them out unintentionally. He was focused on getting Sam to calm down, but the more she cried, the more his heart shattered.

"...I failed her."

The tears said it all: literal. Tears. He cared for her more than he let on, and it was making him sentimental...in the best ways, however.

"You didn't fail her, hon."

"I did. I should've been there when that wretched anon shattered her with their commentary. I should've been there to comfort her sooner...but I wasn't."

"That doesn't mean you failed her. You found out when you could, and what matters is that she's safe in your arms. That she calms down."

"...but what if she doesn't...?"

"...you're going to hate this idea."

"How so...?"

"If she doesn't calm down in the next twenty minutes, we...we take her to Black Hat."

"...Black Hat."

There's fear and nervousness in his voice now. They tried to ease their husband by gently placing their hand on his leg.

"If she doesn't calm down. If she does, then disregard. I mean...everyone has already tried getting her to calm down, or talk...Mordecai hugged her for Christ's sake, and that didn't work! Ghirahim tried calming her by taking her hair down, but also nothing! Another person she confides in is Black Hat. He'll surely be able to calm her."

"...if you say so, my love."

"We'll get her through this...trust me."

#Sardonic Sexymen - Sam DT and Alastor #original post #art #fanart #original art #image reply #text reply #alastor #double trouble #samantha #implied radiotrouble #((sam REALLY doesn't feel good after that one anon... #((and honestly I don't feel good after that either #((because sam here is a self projection of myself so the anon that sent the parental issues ask was not only intentionally jabbing at her #((but they also jabbed at me #((and it took me a while to think it over and draw it #((because I didn't want to be rude and take the fun out of things! #((though I am saying: sam and i are THE same person. please be kinder when submitting stuff #((I don't talk about it but I REALLY didn't appreciate it. it hurt and it sucked #((I love my parents and they love me don't get me wrong #((but they just....broke some personal promises. and idk if I can forgive them for that yet #((this is a coping mechanism for me without thinking about (TW) killing myself #((drawing myself with these fictional characters puts me in a happy place and I'll keep it that way #((if you think me thinking of alastor as my fictional father figure is cringe then you can leave #((either way thank you for checking in on sam #((always appreciated <3

[anxietywriter]

Dialogue Prompt #99 || Weekly

"I can barely give you anything. I can't even give you myself! I am the bottom of the barrel. The minimum. You always reach for the stars in everything else, so why are you settling for me!?"

#dialogue prompt #writing prompt #prompt #tw self image issues

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Eclipse: *nervously looking in the mirror at himself in a dress*

Polar: Baby, you look beautiful.

Eclipse: Does it make me look bad? I feel like I look bad.

Polar: Baby, it’s impossible for you to look bad. Short of sticking you inside an inflatable bodysuit, you look amazing and hot in whatever you’re wearing.

Eclipse: So you don’t think I’m hot in a T-Rex costume?

Polar: …Sure, you’re hot in the T-Rex costume too.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #sun and moon show #sams #polar au #fnaf eclipse #fnaf polar #polclipse #incorrect sun and moon show quotes #incorrect sams quotes #incorrect fnaf quotes #incorrect quotes #source: my brain #tw self image issues mention

[hibiscuts]

"I always know what you're doing"

uh yeah 🙄 my thighs and wrists say otherwise 🥰🥰

#self h@rm #shblr #body image problems #sh meme #self harn #made of styrofoam #barcode problems #tw sh #strict parents #mommy issues

[fluffy-bunnys-world]

I'm hungry but not skinny enough so I'll stay hungry <3

#vent post #tw vent #vent #tw ed diet #tw disordered eating #ed vent #self image #tw eating issues #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #disordered eating mention #starvetober 2023

[justaz]

something i always thought about when it came to amnesia is how different people would act. like the whole nature vs nurture thing, your experiences in life shape how you act, think, and behave. if you’re uplifted throughout your life, more often than not you’re going to be a pretty confident person. if you’re put down and belittled throughout your life, you’re not gonna have the best self image or self esteem. in a lot of writings, when a character has amnesia, they seem to behave the same as before they lose their memories, while they’ve lost their memories, and after they gain them back. it’s always been something in the back of my mind but nothing that like totally bothered me.

something i think is cool though is that even though it’s not explicit i think i can see evidence of this in percy jackson. i cant make a case for jason as we never knew him before he lost his memories, but we were literally inside percy’s head for five books (and some side stories).

again under the cut bc it’s a long one teehee

first things first though lemme just say: percy is not dumb! he’s actually really smart and is emotionally intelligent and observant. we’ve seen this throughout literally the entire series, not just a specific book or a singular series. i’m talking about every instance he appears in the riordanverse.

lemme also say that percy was abused. this isn’t a headcanon or whatever, it’s literally canon. there’s and instance of it happened in the third chapter of the lightning thief when percy goes home after ditching grover and interrupts gabe’s poker game and as he stomps into his room gabe brings up his report card and calls him “brain boy” which insinuates that gabe constantly belittles percy’s intelligence (as he also calls him that when percy and sally are leaving for montauk) and it’s safe to assume that he didn’t just stop there (“guy secret” (physical abuse) and “he’d find a way to blame me” (gabe went out of his way to cause conflict with percy)).

so percy grew up in a home where he was consistently put down and went to schools where he was bullied no matter what (“sarcastic teachers - every jerk who’d called me stupid in school or laughed at me when I’d gotten expelled.”). being put down in this way your entire life would not lead to high self esteem and confidence. so while percy was emotionally intelligent and observant enough to pick up on luke’s bitterness to the gods, annabeths crush on luke, grover being thalias protector, chiron telling that half truth about the oracle in the attic, medusa hating annabeth by tensing up for a split second, etc., etc., he did not have the self esteem to pick up on annabeth, rachel, calypso, and nico being into him unless they spelled it out for him.

even then, when calypso told him that she had feelings for him he couldn’t understand bc “i’m just me” and it took rachel asking him what it would take for him to kiss her and annabeth literally kissed him under mt st. helens and it took another year for them to get together (i think there’s another reason there but that’s for another day), and nico had to tell him straight up that he had a crush on him for percy to realize (which tbf,, nico was so angry towards him that i don’t blame percy for not picking up on it).

the point is, percy is extremely emotionally intelligent and observant as long as he’s not part of the equation. when you bring him into it and consider other peoples feelings towards him, his own insecurities get in the way of him picking up on extremely obvious signs (calypsos treatment of him, actually just the entire battle of the labyrinth book).

(i would also add that he down plays his powers/strength a lot because of these insecurities but that doesn’t pan out with what i’m talking about bc when his memories were stolen, he didn’t know the true extent of his powers so he didn’t change much in that department as he still underestimated his own strength as with the water canons during war games.)

anyways, after he arrives at new rome and is y’know an amnesiac, he seems a little off from how he was in pjo (which i think would’ve been really interesting to see if he went by perseus instead of percy but that’s a whole other thing) and i think it’s bc of the amnesia. since his memories were gone, he didn’t remember gabe or his school bullies or sarcastic teachers so his self image kinda boosted a bit and he owned his intelligence and looks and what he had with him bc it was all he had.

he noticed that reyna had recognized him and wanted to kill him (or was angry, i can’t remember exactly) when he first arrived at camp and he also noticed she was the leader quickly and knew that he shouldn’t question her in front of the other campers and remained silent. he picked up on octavian blackmailing hazel, hazel and franks romantic tension, the fact that nico recognized him, etc., etc. further more, he owned his intelligence and didn’t shy away from it. he noticed that while octavian was saying one thing, he was simultaneously saying something else, he picked up on the manipulation (? is that the right word? idk, silver tongued-ness of octavian). he knew that octavian would be a powerful political enemy and since a lot of decisions in new rome are made in a political way (? does that make sense?) that octavian would be a powerful enemy in general.

in his meeting with reyna afterwords, he had apparently counted the lines on her arm and picked up on the fact that they stood for the years that she was part of the legion and the ring and the spa, blah, blah, blah, basically just reread their whole meeting in son of neptune. reyna even says that he’s smarter than he appears (which, yeah, might be a dig at him, is also a compliment bc she did just call him smart so-). he also almost immediately picked up on the fact that reyna was insinuating that they could be…something and he could choose what that something was. without the memories of his past and the subsequent self esteem issues, he immediately picked up on the signals reyna was sending him. so now that he doesn’t have his memories, when he’s part of the equation he can still reach the right answer without his insecurities clouding his judgement.

then when he got his memories back and we moved onto moa, we kinda got pjo percy back. the scene that sticks out to me the most is percy and annabeths date in rome. annabeth tells percy that she knows him and percy wants to respond with “and you like me anyways?” but doesn’t, showing that with his memories coming back, so did his insecurities and shitty self esteem.

so while it’s not explicit and attention isn’t called to it, it’s nice to find proof (i guess) in pjo/hoo that the amnesia actually affected the character is a realistic way (i guess).

#percy jackson #tw verbal abuse #tw physical abuse #tw bullying #self esteem issues #self image issues #insecurities #emotionally intelligent #observant #intelligent #percabeth #in conclusion. we stan. #smelly gabe ugliano #annabeth chase #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #heros of olympus #hoo #btw i have no idea how amnesia actually works #or if this is accurate at all #but idc #calypso #reyna avila ramirez arellano #nico di angelo #rachel elizabeth dare #octavian hoo #hazel levesque #frank zhang #son of neptune #character analysis