#posting these memes here so i can finally get them off my camera roll

[gothamsglam]

so guess who got into a new fandom

#watcher #ghost files #ghost files debrief #shane madej #ryan bergara #watcher entertainment #ghoul boys #memes #posting these memes here so i can finally get them off my camera roll #food files

[lemonlurkrr]

@aureateart​ ok. My favourite parts of twilight princess  (and some other random thoughts about TP sprinkled in there) taken from my monster TP word vomit google doc :

Link lmao

Ok but for real, I like this incarnation of Link :)

I love Ordon (it just seems like such a chill and cozy village)

ALSO love how easy it is to interpret Link as being a sort of older brother figure to the Ordon kiddos. It’s just,, super cute? AND GHHH nice nice good thanks nintendo for giving me characters to care about/characters that I can imagine Link caring about

He didn’t sign up for any of this (tbh, none of the Links really signed up for this jshdjsd). But I mean like, dude was just going to take a trip to castle town, drop a gift off for the royal family, and come back. But haHA oopsies he did get to castle town eventually but definitely not the way he expected hsjdhsd

He’s just a little dude?

AND FUCK. HE REALLY HAD NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF ORDON UNTIL ALL OF THAT

everything is new for the player AND Link

Midna

She’s cool :)

she really just

*teleports into your jail cell* hello whore.

I am no master at writing but AYYYY she do got a character arc!!!

She was actually pretty helpful sometimes, I ALWAYS checked in with her before turning to a game guide

Other NPCs

NICE

Love all of the TP character designs (ASHEI’S ARMOUR??? AOWOAOAOOAO)

Saving Zelda and all of Hyrule was important yea but thinking back maybe it was more like, the Ordonians and the kids were what was pushing Link to keep on going

I like the Resistance members :) Very video gamey of them to have one NPC assigned to each dungeon but hey!!! Kinda cool getting to see a little glimpse of each of em

Idk, it’s just fun to imagine Link popping into Telma’s bar after each dungeon and taking a little rest :) (or to celebrate? maybe just chat, idk, give this man some downtime!!)

Honestly it was just kind of nice that Link wasn’t entirely alone. I mean, I know Midna was there the whole time, but I am always for giving Link a big group of friends (see my love for hyrule warriors, age of calamity, and LU LMAO)

Hero’s shade, very very cool, kinda sad he died with regrets but HEY. He got to pass on his knowledge eventually

AND the connection to OoT?? AND assumed to be related by blood too????? GOOD SHIT

Ilia, I REALLY really wanted to like her (er, it’s not like I dislike her, she’s just,,, kinda there for me).

It definitely seems like Nintendo was pushing to make her the romantic interest, but GHHHHH they really threw that out of the window for me by having her lose her memories

I saw a text post a while ago that said it would have been interesting if Ilia was Link’s sister instead and YES!! That would have been cool too :0

Wish we got to know Zelda a little more

I feel like we barely know anything about her

Idk man, like I said earlier, I never really had any sort of drive to save Zelda during my playthroughs

She obviously knows Midna, so maybe if they gave us just a little bit more of that relationship I’d be more interested in her?

TP WORLD BUILDINGGGG

Botw has good world building too, but each race felt kinda,,, isolated? I absolutely love the different architecture and vibe each town has (and all the the weapons too) but ghhh yea everyone felt so separated. As far as I can remember, we don’t see tooo much of the races interacting with each other? Now that I’m typing that out maybe that’s to be expected because of the calamity but KLSJDKJFD ANYWAYS THIS IS ABOUT TP

The world feels nice and alive, love how populated everything is

Castle town I like castle town a lot, it feels dense and busy and I really like how you can’t talk to every NPC you see

Very cool very fun that we got to see the Gorons hanging out in multiple spots

kinda wish we got to see the Zoras a little more (I guess they are a bit limited since they need water but GHHHH the tp zoras are so prebby,,)

BUT HEY, I do remember seeing a zora or two hanging out in the hot springs around death mountain after beating the lakebed temple (I think, might have been a different dungeon) 

but aaaa would have been nice to see them in at least a couple of other places. I think it would have really added to the “congrats Link!! You’re restoring peace to Hyrule” feeling you get from seeing the Gorons hanging out in Kakariko and Castle Town

ORDON

Love how chill it is and how it’s kind of separate from Hyrule proper

They really do seem to be doing their own thing apart from the rest of Hyrule

Just kinda adds onto the “he’s just a regular dude minding his own business” kind of vibes I get from TP Link

Also I like Ordona :)

THE LIGHT SPIRITS,,

Love their design

And love how they’re not exactly like a pure white?

Different spirit representing each aspect of the triforce my beloved

But yes hi I think Ordona is very cool

Who are you, how did you get here, which goddess do you represent? Do you even represent one of the three golden goddesses? Do the Ordonians know about you? Have any of them ever SEEN you??? Do they worship you? Does anybody even know about the existence of the light spirits?? FUCK so many questions but ghhh I like how they broke the status quo a bit by throwing in a fourth spirit :)

I feel like this one is kinda weird but I like that voice sample they used in the light spirit music. It’s spooky and pretty at the same time :)  

cutscenes mmmmm

Ok ok, the spooky lanayru cutscene is very good

BUT THE “Link, Chosen Hero! Lend us the last of your power!” CUTSCENE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM LOVE IT SO MUCH

IT just

Idk man

It just hit different

I like the music

And seeing the light spirits swimming around in the light juice water whatever it is

Summoning the light arrows?

AND HHHHH “Lend us the last of your power!” THIS IS IT. This is the final battle.

Seeing Zelda bow down, and then Link putting his hand out 👌👌👌

Link: ok bud, let’s do this together :)

Connection to OoT (did I already mention this? Maybe., Whatever)

Very cool nintendo :)

I love seeing connections between all the diff zelda games.

Because like, on one hand, they’re all separate from each other because of yknow, individual hero stuff. BUT ALSO, they’re all connected because of the reincarnation stuff

Grrrr walking through the sacred grove and going “The Hero of Time walked around here a long time ago” FUCK THATS SO COOL

Is the Hero’s Shade watching me? What does he think of me? DIsappointed? Proud? The Hero of Time went through HELL so this timeline didn’t have to deal with any of the shit Ganon was gonna pull with the triforce, better not fuck this UP Link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Midlink is cute

Kinda hurts that she smashed the mirror but that was probably so Nintendo didn’t have to worry about people going “but what about the twili??????” for any of the other games LMAO

BUT ALSO LIKE SKJDKLJFJ There are some pretty massive plot holes in TP anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever it’s fine we’ll just use this for angst because GOD do y’all like angst

So is Shadlink

Honestly don’t know where this ship came from but it’s cute so whatever

THE MUSIC??

Love Midna’s theme and how they referenced the dark world theme from ALttP (I remember trying to learn the dark world theme on the piano and doing the Leonardo DiCaprio point meme at the little jingle I recognized from Midna’s theme)

Hyrule field theme SLAPS.

Apparently references a couple of the other over-world themes from the previous zelda games (I got this from 8-bit Music theory’s video on the over-world zelda themes, he talks about TP at around 11:40 but def recommend watching the whole video if you’re into music analysis stuff)

So there’s this bit of the Hyrule Field theme, I don’t know the official name for it but I remember seeing somewhere it being called the “at an advantage theme” since yeah, you hear it during the boss music whenever you expose their weak points. FUCKINGGG LOVE THAT. Didn’t notice it during my first playthrough, but hearing it during my second was like a little easter egg for my ears every time :)

Midna’s lament is very pretty (and fun to play on the piano)

COURAGE THEME.

I didn’t care for it too much when I started playing the game but hearing it in ZREO’s arrangement of the Hyrule Field theme literally makes me turn into a puddle of emotions. Also hearing it around and of the Ordon kids (I think it plays after Link saves Colin) AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Orchestra piece #1 and #2 HOLY SHIT???????????????? 

Literally, the first time I listened to those I just,,,, plugged in my headphones, volume 100, layed on the floor/against my desk and silently vibed. I don’t know what the hell it is, but those two just fit so well with TP?? I still avoid listening to them nowadays cause if I DO I definitely will get overwhelmed with the “god I love this game so FUCKING MUCH” kind of feels.

Wolf link sucks at singing

the first time I heard him howling Zelda’s Lullaby I lost my shit because LKSJLDKSGLKJFSKG god that was.,, Bad. Anyways, hearing him howl some of the songs from OoT was cute :)

TP STAFF ROLL??? 

VERY GOOD. IT’s like 10 minutes long and GOD do I love every single second of it. It doesn’t have the same energy as the skyward sword staff roll or the orchestra pieces but GOD does it hit good??

Nice and calm after that big exciting adventure. Maybe it would have been more fun or emotional to have a higher energy piece but it was really nice getting to sit back and watch the camera fly around Hyrule. Seeing like, the Gorons and the Zoras having a good time, the kids returning to Ordon? GOOD SHIT.

and AAAAA that end, when you hear the main Zelda theme and see Link riding off out of Faron woods on Epona… good shit. It gets you thinking, where the hell is he going? What is he doing? Off ot do more adventuring? Going to help out the resistance or something? Going to help Zelda? Or maybe he’s trying to figure out a way to restore the mirror of twilight? Whoooo knows.

hhHHHHhhh it’s just that final reminder that YES!!! YOU JUST PLAYED A ZELDA GAME. JUST ANOTHER STORY APART OF THE WHOLE EPIC OF THE ZELDA SERIES AS A WHOLE

I also want to acknowledge the instrument/samples they used for all the twili stuff.

They’re all just so unique and contrast SO well with the rest of the TP OST. LIKE FUCK!! Anytime I hear the screech from the Twilit Kargarok? Sends a shiver down my spine. I associate those sounds SO strongly with the twili realm. (Like, the same way you associate the BSHEWW VVWWMMM sounds with light sabers)

I love it so god damn much

literally any time there’s a certain sound or motif associated with something I lose my shit

Sacred grove sacred grove sacred gro-

lovely lovely lovely so much fun playing that on the piano. AND again, I did the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme when I heard the theme from the lost woods come in GHHHHHHHH

shoutout to TP Faron Woods for helping me study and get through all of my schoolwork

BLEGUUHHH can you tell that I really love music?

and also yea I guess TP is kinda cool too :\

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT THANKS I GUESS

#lemonspeakrr #LEMON SPEAKS 2K WORDS ABOUT TWILIGHT PRINCESS BECAUSE THEY ARE INSANE.

[someonestolemyshoes]

Off the Record

Hello!! I am super excited to finally post my entry for @levihan-drabbles competition :D The prompt was super interesting and I had a tonne of fun writing this one! 

The prompt I received was: Hange posts a picture of Levi somewhere and it becomes a meme.

(For those curious, this is the meme I used for inspiration) 

Hange pushed her plate across the table and grinned at him. "Levi! Fancy seeing you here! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Levi's lip curled.

"You know what," he said. Hange braced her elbows on the table and rested her chin atop her knotted fingers.

"Enlighten me."

Colour rose in Levi's cheeks. For a moment, Hange felt a little guilty. For all Levi's grumbling and grunting, Hange had never seen him angry before.

"That bullshit article."

"Ah. Was there a problem?"

Hange met Moblit in a small cafe a little way down the road from the newsroom. She was in good spirits—her morning had been productive; she'd made steady headway with research for her next interview, finished the final edits for a few smaller tabloid pieces she'd been meaning to brush up, attended three short, perfunctory meetings on tedious company policy, and laid the groundwork for another exciting interview opportunity.  

She felt good. And now she had the pleasurable prospect of a hearty lunch, a passable cup of coffee, and perhaps best of all, Moblit's company. His company, and his camera.

Hange threw herself into the seat opposite Moblit the moment she spotted him, hunched over his laptop in a corner of the cafe. He lifted his coffee cup just in time for Hange to clatter against the table, the thin metal frame rattling precariously. She offered him a sheepish grin.

"Sorry," she said, and then, "got anything exciting?"

"I don't know about exciting. Interesting, maybe, but no breaking news."

Hange flagged down a passing waitress with one hand, and waved Moblit off with the other. "Doesn't matter, doesn't matter," she said, then paused to order a drink and her favourite sandwich. "Tell me anyway."

"I got a tip-off from a waiter at Sina's."

Hange's eyes sparkled behind her glasses. She sat forward in her chair, folding her arms on the table top as she leaned closer. "Who?"

"Take a guess."

Hange grinned at him. Moblit was not one to play coy; he did his job and did it well, and reported his findings efficiently. To leave her to question it meant one of two things; he had photographed someone very high profile indeed, or it was somebody Hange was, for better or for worse, well acquainted with.

Or perhaps, if she were lucky, it was both.

"Let me see him, then."

**

Hange had taken far too much time in the cafe with Moblit. He had given her a rundown of all the details he'd gathered during his field work that morning, and shown her through his extensive photo gallery. It was impressive, the kind of archive Moblit could cultivate with only a 45 minute breakfast window.

Hange had been delighted. Moblit was right; it wasn't breaking news, nothing particularly thrilling, but there was a corner of the Internet, Hange knew, that would delight in a trashy little article just like this. Something quick and simple to bulk up the social media feed for the afternoon.

Plus, there was a series of pictures Moblit had snapped, a cluster he'd thought to be of no real merit, that Hange simply could not pass up.

She could lay down no facts with a story like this one. There was no hard-hitting investigative journalism to be had, but she could at least offer some speculation based on her knowledge of the subjects involved, and spin a tale juicy enough to get people talking.

It took little time at all to put the article together. Hange scribbled up an outline for the contents—the location; Sina's in downtown Hizuru, a luxurious restaurant serving five star meals at every hour of the day. High in quality, sickeningly steep in price. The time of day; 9am. To the best of Hange's knowledge, this was rather out of character for the subject. He was an early riser, but according to their interview last March pending the premiere of his newest movie, he wasn't the type to eat much at all before lunch time.

And then, the company. Eren Yeager was a relatively well-known actor, barely an adult at nineteen. He starred in his first role a decade earlier, and had seen commercial success in multiple movies and TV shows ever since. He had been something of a prodigy in his younger years, bold and precocious, possessing a natural talent many actors years his senior couldn't even hope for. As Hange understood it, he had recently hit a rather troublesome phase. An interesting line of inquiry, but despite his talent and his fame, Eren's presence was simply a cameo, compared to the subject of the article Hange was drawing up.

Levi Ackerman.

Levi is a fan favourite and a media delight. He's attractive no doubt, and his performance in any and every role is almost always met with critical acclaim. Outside of his career, however, he's an elusive thing, silent in any matters pertaining to his private life. He avoids any public event like the plague, and rarely shows his face at premieres or award ceremonies if he can possibly avoid it. He gives interviews only when required by some contractual obligation or other, or else when the journalist in question is so painfully persistent that it is simply easier to give in than to keep fighting.

Little of his personal life is known, but it is impossible for someone in Levi's position to avoid interacting with anybody at all, and even the great Levi Ackerman is not above scrutiny.

There are rumours. Several of them, accounts from fellow cast members, from staff, from directors, and even Erwin, his manager, has alluded more than once to Levi's sour disposition. He is prone, Hange has heard, to fits of anger, and is easily disgruntled by minor inconveniences. His dislike of anything unclean or untidy is the stuff of legends—Hange has seen this first hand, at their very first interview. He had entered the room, scowled at the chair before sitting in it, and given Hange a thorough once over before announcing, with no hint of humour, "your glasses are filthy."

Hange had found him both fascinating and quite delightful, in his own strange way. When he acts, Levi sounds eloquent; he is a master of emotive performance, wringing the last drops of anger, despair, or grief out of each and every word, or else injecting the perfect giddy jitter, or a tremor of humour when the scene called for it. As soon as the cameras stop rolling, though, Levi's tone becomes flat, and without a script, his words are clumsy and crass. He communicates poorly, quick to throw insults and crude remarks. Hange has interviewed him a number of times—she counts herself very lucky that Levi will consent to her requests without too much fuss, these days—and each time she finds herself spending half of their time together translating his answers into something a) family friendly, and b) understandable to the everyday reader.

There is nothing for Hange to translate this time. Moblit managed to speak to the waiter after Levi and Eren had vacated in hopes of gleaning any small tidbit of knowledge regarding their conversation, but the venture had been hopeless. The pair had grown silent upon the approach of any staff member, and spoke in tones too hushed for anyone nearby to hear. They learned nothing they couldn't extrapolate for themselves from Moblit's pictures; Eren looked sheepish, avoiding Levi's gaze in favour of staring into his drink, while Levi—

Levi looked furious.

Every picture featured his signature frown, which, in and of itself wasn't enough to assume Levi to be in any mood besides neutral, but some of the photos show a hint of bared teeth or pursed lips, with his brows pulled lower than normal, the space between them deeply creased. Hange found herself curious as both a journalist and as an acquaintance. They may not be friends, but Hange liked to think she knew Levi a little better than most people, at least. She could find nothing in their past interactions to suggest any relationship with Eren beyond the strictly professional. They had over a decade between them, and though they had worked together on more than one set, neither party had ever said anything to insinuate so much as a friendly attitude between them.

There was no resolution to her queries to be easily found. And luckily for Hange, this particular piece didn't require any. It was a gossip article, something spicy, jam-packed with buzzwords, what-if's and more questions than answers, designed to make people wonder. Levi's name in the title would be enough to draw people in; Eren's name was an added bonus. But the star of the show was Moblit's photography. Hange arranged the images she had chosen in a grid. In context, the pictures were intriguing, depicting a particularly ferocious part of Levi and Eren's exchange. Out of context, they looked a little ridiculous. Both would bring readers onto their home page.

Satisfied with her work, Hange queued the finished article for review, and turned her attention back to her schedule.

**

The article launched mid-afternoon. Hange watched, somewhat satisfied, as it was received much as she had expected it to be. The activity on their Twitter account skyrocketed, the tweet in question garnering more likes, retweets and replies in the hour after it's post than any other they’d dropped in the last month.

Hange had allowed it to slip from her mind after the first hour or so. She received praise from her bosses, and a text from Moblit, jokingly demanding she pay him even more handsomely for his work than she already had, and her cousin had called her in the evening on a quest for insider gossip she could share with her friends, but that had been the end of it. Hange thought of it no more until early the following morning, when she had stopped by the quiet little cafe beneath her flat for breakfast and her favourite coffee.

She had been polishing off her pancakes when the bell above the door chimed. She had paid little attention to the newcomer, until a shadow passed over her table, and a familiar voice said, "Oi, shitty glasses."

Hange looked up to see Levi Ackerman himself standing over her, his face twisted in a scowl.

There are perks of being reasonably acquainted with Levi. Hange always gets to conduct his interviews, and Levi only ever turns her down if her request is unreasonable. Like that time she demanded he meet her at this very coffee shop for "just a quick piece, about the cameo you did for the new season of Titans", only to show him she'd bought a new pair of glasses—"look, all clean!"—and, when pressed, admitted there was no interview at all. He had been far more hesitant to indulge her in smaller affairs after that, but Hange was still lucky enough to be his only regular interviewer after big releases.

More interviews means more commission for Hange, and more high profile work with other celebrities. Yes, being acquainted with Levi has its bonuses.

But it also has its downsides. Namely, that Levi will not hesitate to turn up at her regular coffee shop to berate her after she has posted some complete and utter wank at his expense.

Hange pushed her plate across the table and grinned at him. "Levi! Fancy seeing you here! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Levi's lip curled.

"You know what," he said. Hange braced her elbows on the table and rested her chin atop her knotted fingers.

"Enlighten me."

Colour rose in Levi's cheeks. For a moment, Hange felt a little guilty. For all Levi's grumbling and grunting, Hange had never seen him angry before.

"That bullshit article."

"Ah. Was there a problem?"

"You're a piece of shit, you know that?"

Hange sat back in her chair and sipped at her coffee. Levi's face was full colour now, a pale pink flush from his neck right up to his hairline. Hange gave him a measured look, then kicked out the chair opposite her.

"Sit," she said. "If you have issues, I'd be happy to discuss."

Levi looked for a moment like he'd like nothing more than to strangle her. Then he pulled out the chair the rest of the way, and dropped himself into it.

"I don't give a fuck about the article," he said. "It's shitty gossip anyway."

Hange raised a brow at him. She opened her mouth to continue when, without prompt, a young waitress approached their table, practically bouncing on the spot as she stopped and gave Levi a dazzling smile. Her cheeks were flushed prettily, and Hange would have thought she were simply starstruck, if it weren't for the light of mirth in her eyes.

"Good morning, sir. Can I get you anything?" She gave Levi no chance to respond, before plowing on. "Water? Or tea, perhaps? Forgive me, but you seem a little upset. Might a nice tea calm you down?"

Levi grit his teeth. "No, thank you."

Hange almost apologised to the poor waitress on his behalf, but she didn't look bothered at all by his rudeness. In fact, she had barely turned from the table before she snorted in laughter, and caught her giggles in her hands as she scurried back behind the counter. A second passed, before all three waitresses snickered.

"That," Levi hissed, "is your fault."

Now Hange truly was confused. She furrowed her brow at him. "How does that have anything to do with me?"

"You and your stupid article," he said. Hange looked back to the waitress, who looked to their table again before falling into a fresh fit of giggles. Hange turned back to Levi, a little sympathetic.

"I think she just fancies you."

"You're trying to tell me you really don't know the mess you've caused?"

Hange shook her head slowly. Levi watched her closely, searching for proof of the lie, but Hange's earnestness must have shown through, for Levi's anger abated a little, and he slumped back on his chair.  

In lieu of a verbal explanation, Levi pulled out his phone. He tapped the screen a few times, typed something out, and scrolled a little way, before placing the phone on the table and sliding it towards her. Hange pulled it closer with a frown.

The screen displayed Twitter, and showed the feed beneath the search for Levi's name. Hange scrolled a few posts, eyes widening little by little as she went.

Levi was right. The contents of the article were of little significance at all. The photo grid, however, had gone viral overnight.

It showed four pictures of Levi and Eren, taken in succession. Each one showed only a portion of the back of Eren's head, but Levi's expression in every frame was more animated than Hange had ever seen him outside of his movie scenes, and each was more distraught than the last. Face tight, jaw clenched, teeth bared, with his finger pointed condescendingly in Eren's face. The second last picture shows his brows arched and his lips pressed into a thin line, and the final one—

Hange had laughed at it in isolation when Moblit had shown her. She had fully expected it to garner a few laughs, but she hadn't expected a photograph of Levi furiously slurping his tea to become a meme in less than 24 hours.  

"I see," Hange said, as she calmly slid the phone back to him. "In my defense, you don't help yourself. It wouldn't be half as funny if you didn't hold your tea cup so weird."

"In my defense," Levi snapped, "If you didn't post it online nobody would have anything to laugh at."

Hange crossed her arms on the table and leaned towards him, smiling pleasantly. "In your defense, you wouldn't have been so angry in public if it weren't for whatever Eren had to say. What was that about, by the way? I'm terribly curious."

Hange expected a very Levi response to her prying; a scowl, perhaps a quick kick under the table, an 'It's none of your damn business, four-eyes', if she were lucky.

What she got instead was a haughty sniff, and a gruff, "He's fucking my cousin."

For a moment, they were silent. Either Levi's anger at his new meme status had temporarily disabled the part of his brain that blocked any mention of his private life from slipping past his lips in the wrong company, or something about Eren's indiscretion had rattled him so much, he couldn't keep silent about it. Either way, he looked increasingly surprised—and horrified—at himself for saying it out loud. Hange's eyes were wide, and Levi's were growing wider by the second. Of all the people to slip up to, he had slipped up to her. An entertainment journalist, the one person in his life who thrived on this kind of insider knowledge.

Hange swallowed. Levi was still staring at her like a deer in headlights, no doubt painfully aware that there was no taking back what he had said now.

Hange doesn't take a great deal of pride in what she does. She feels satisfied when her stories receive the reception she'd predicted, validated in her ability to analyse their consumer base and make accurate assumptions about what will hit and what won't, but the work itself feels dirty, at times. An opportunistic scavenger feeding on whatever carrion they can find, no matter how rotten it may be.

This is a perfect opportunity. Salacious details of Levi's interpersonal relationships, right from the horse's mouth. If it were anyone else, Hange would be scribbling every word verbatim in her notebook.

But this is Levi. Levi, who seems jarred by her last article (though Hange will maintain this, at least, is no real fault of her journalism, and also, absolutely hilarious) and was clearly, for whatever reason, incensed by Eren's actions.

Hange brushed her palms over her thighs, and picked a speck of lint from her trousers.

"This is nice, isn't it?" She said, "having breakfast together. We should do it more often. It feels good to just talk, sometimes. Off the record."  

Levi blinked rapidly at her. He opened his mouth, but, still too shocked by his own loose tongue to speak, he said nothing. Hange pulled her phone from her bag and fiddled around with it some, tapping here and there, until she found what she was looking for. She turned it to Levi, and said, "I think this is my favourite edit so far."

Levi finally pulled his gaze from her, and looked down at the screen. It was truly something, the way the picture snapped him out of his stunned silence. Hange had never seen someone's face pinch up so rapidly.

"Come on, it's kinda funny. And look! That's Tony Stark, right? People are so creative. And maybe, if we're really lucky, Buzzfeed will do a compilation article of all the best ways people have used your new meme."  

Levi rolled his eyes at her. It looked strange, with his face so tightly twisted. Hange chuckled at him.

She nudged his ankle beneath the table with the toe of her shoe. "Lighten up, you look constipated."

"Oi, out of the two of us I'm not the one who's full of—"

"—Full of shit, I know, I know. That honour is all mine."

They lapsed into another silence, this one marginally more comfortable than the last. Hange finished the last of her coffee and checked her emails, while Levi tortured himself some more by scrolling through his Twitter feed. After a short while, he spoke again.

"That...doesn't sound bad," he said.

"Hm?"

"What you said about talking more. Off the record. It doesn't sound bad."

It was Hange's turn to flush. Heat rose in her cheeks, and she occupied herself by rifling through her bag in search of nothing.

"Yeah?" Her voice, an octave higher than usual, cracked around the vowels. She cleared her throat, "will you have more gossip for me? It's almost painful that I can't share it, you know."

"Good. I'll share as many secrets as I've got, if it'll bother you that much."

"Sounds terrible," Hange said. She tore a clean corner off her napkin and scribbled her personal number onto it. She slid it over the table to him. "Text me."

Levi pulled a face at the piece of napkin. "Is that used? Gross, shitty four-eyes." He pocketed it anyway.

Hange didn't know what else to say. Levi didn't seem to either, and so he stood, and tucked his chair back in. Hange turned her eyes down to her empty plate. Her stomach and chest felt strange, almost sickly, but in an oddly pleasant way.

Levi rapped his knuckles on the table. Hange jumped, startled, and looked up at the sound.

"This part is on the record," he said. The corner of Levi's mouth quirked into a small, barely there grin. "I heard from a reliable source that Eren was so scared on the set of Last War that he pissed his pants. Twice."

#Levihan #snk #my writing #THIS ONE WAS SO FUN I would like to revisit this one day #I enjoyed their dynamic hehe

[fandomdancer]

The Dance

In the year 2169, you are a senior in high school. You've been best friends with the same two young men since grade school. One of them is your date to the senior dance. The other is the class loner: Eobard Thawne. When your date make a suddenly unexpected move, you find yourself feeling like the perfect night is ruined. But then Eobard shows up...

Word Count: 3,754 words

Rating: T, but may be M

Pairings: OC/Reader, Eobard/Reader

A/N: First attempt at a reader-insert fic. Special thanks to @darlingpetao3 @yetanotherwells @wellsaddict and @hawk-lee for listening to me freak out about this, inspiring me, and giving me the courage to actually post it. I hope it's interesting and fun for you to read.

This is Mattobard's version of Thawne, since it takes place during his teenage years.

This fic was inspired by this song (which is the featured waltz in the story). 'Pride and Penance', from World of Warcraft: Shadowlands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZtBflZHIcQ

_________________________________________________________

The moment you step into the darkened dance hall, you feel as though you have been transported back in time. In fact, you can’t help but wonder if the organizers of this year’s spring formal are utilizing some of Rip Hunter’s famous Time Couriers to literally open a door to the past. Everything around is, at minimum, dated back a hundred years ago, from the DJ setting up digital playlists to the black-light-illuminated chairs seated around tables littered with drinks, plates of food, and what looks like games. The music right now is from the early 2000s, but you expect the songs to range through decades, possibly even centuries over the course of the night. Multicolored lights hang from the ceiling, giving the place an overall ‘club’ look, accentuated by the powerful underlighting at the bar.

The temperature increases as you enter on your date’s arm, the exertion from the dancing and milling bodies heating up the air in the room. The dance started only thirty minutes ago, but the excitement in the room is palpable, and kids are wasting no time yelling ‘hellos’ and ‘how are yous’ as they toss back nonalcoholic drinks. One table is already full of kids engaged in what looks like an intense card game with multicolored discs sprayed across the table in front of them.

Catching the fever of the room, you cast a huge grin up at your date, a handsome young man you’ve known since grade school. The two of you are dressed perhaps a little fancy for the event, with him in a fine, high-collared suit befitting a 20th century aristocrat and you in a deep red 1940s princess ballgown. Overdressing is okay: the two of you were expecting a slightly more ‘ballroom’ shindig, not this ‘21st century club’ event, and upon looking around you can see that other members of your class had similar ideas, wearing everything from 1800s Victorian gowns to military uniforms.

“They did a good job,” your date says. “Though one would think they could have come up with a more original theme name than ‘Blast to the Past’.”

“Don’t cheesy titles comprise part of the charm of last century?” you ask as the two of you move towards the obligatory picture arena. “Wasn’t stating the obvious considered not only funny, but…what was the word…a meemee?”

“Meme. One word, one syllable. And yes. Memes were a rather popular form of communication in the early 21st century, though I guess they started well before that.” Your date eyes the line and the picture-taking arena before them. “Is that….a phone booth?”

You are both intrigued as you watch a couple go into the booth, pulling a curtain shut and separating them from the outside world. Their feet are obvious as they scrabble into various positions, each one punctuated by a bright flash ands lots of giggling. The couple emerges, looking flushed and full of smiles, and watch as two thin strips of plastic emerged from the wall of the booth. The two grab the plastic strips and look at them, giggling as they walk away.

“It’s a photo booth.”

The voice right beside you and your date startles you, and you quickly look over to see one of the chaperones for the event, Ms. Steinway, a few feet away. The young teacher looks stunning in a green floor-length gown, her blonde hair floating ethereally around her shoulders. She gestures. “You go in, and you have five pictures taken of you in quick succession. There’s usually only three to four seconds between each photo so people often planned ahead what they would do ahead of time. You can make faces, or be serious…whatever you would like!”

“Thank you, Ms. Steinway,” you say before looking back to your date. “Well. I guess we have about a minute to come up with five different poses.”

“Why don’t we improvise? We’re both good thinkers on our feet.”

The tension and pressure of racing to beat a timed photo session is appealing to you, probably a side effect of all the time you've been spending lately with your other friend, Eobard Thawne. He has a strong taste for competition and it’s been rubbing off on you in the years you’ve known him.

The sudden thought of Thawne makes you skim the room, wondering if the class loner has actually shown up to tonight’s dance. You’re pretty sure he’s not here; this isn’t his type of thing at all. It’s certainly why you didn’t ask him to be your date. It’s also the only reason why you didn’t ask him to be your date. Eobard Thawne’s proud, handsome figure and strikingly keen intellect has drawn many a girl’s attention over the years, including yours, and you’ve made a concentrated effort to ignore it. But lately, you’ve noticed that he seems to be hovering near you much more often. And he got into a fistfight with your date a few weeks ago…you never did quite figure out what had caused that argument…

Seeing him here tonight would definitely open a lot of doors, however. Perhaps you would be brave enough to ask him for a single dance. He can be a truly arrogant ass but he has always been at least civil to you…probably because the two of you have also known each other since grade school.

Your date pushes you forward and you realize that, as usual, thoughts of Eobard have distracted you for several seconds. It is your turn in the photo booth.

The booth is small and simple, with a little touch screen that simply says ‘go’. A quick glance over the screen shows that presets are in place, with no way to change them. It is a little aggravating to not be able to customize the photos but you suppose that’s to get the line of kids moving quickly. With a quick glance at your date, the two of you reach out and tap the ‘go’ button together.

The very first thing he does is kiss you. It’s so fast and so intense that you don’t even have time to react. Suddenly his mouth is open and wet and moving on yours and his hand is in your carefully-crafted hairstyle and you are shocked beyond words because of all the poses you had considered in this run of pictures, your longtime friend kissing you was not one of them. You’ve suspected he felt this way about you and there was no doubt in your mind that he would be an excellent romantic partner, but you hadn’t really…thought about him like that. In fact, the only person you really thought about like that was…Eobard.

He finally pulls back and looks quickly at the camera, grinning widely. Your brain is fuzzed and rolling with several unfinished sentences and questions, but some little part of you keeps control and turns to smile bright and beautiful at the screen. The two of you make silly faces next, and as you are setting up for what you think is the next picture, the screen goes dark. You realize in shock that he used three of the five pictures to kiss you. Feeling frustrated and cheated, you get out of the booth, pasting a smile on your face so as not to appear angry to the line of kids waiting outside. You’ll have plenty of time to discuss his choices later.

The pictures print out and they’re definitely difficult to look at. The first one shows your obvious surprise, but the second two are worse, showcasing your desperate attempt to keep control of what is happening by grabbing at his face and responding to his kiss. It was not your best decision, but you feel like it was your only choice at the moment – and that realization makes you furious.

The two of you head to an unoccupied table, and the moment you set down the photos you whirl on your date, your insides twisted in knots and your throat almost sealed shut from the force of your anger. “What the hell?”

“What?”

It’s even hotter in this room with your anger charging you up. You are pretty sure your face is the color of your dress. “You kissed me.”

He smiles. “Of course I did. What did you think we were going to do in there?”

Your mouth drops open. “Make faces and smile! When did kissing appear on the list of things to do tonight?”

His brow furrows. “When you agreed to be my date. Come now, you can’t possibly miss all the signs I’ve given you. You know me better than that.”

His self-entitled arrogance sets your teeth on edge and you clutch the table so hard you’re amazed it doesn’t bend. “I’ve known you for almost all of my life and you have never been so rude as to just kiss someone without making sure it’s all right with them! You wait for that kind of invitation! You don’t blindside her during a timed picture taking session!”

“Spontaneity has never been your thing, and I respect that,” he begins to say.

You cut him off. “Clearly not or these wouldn’t exist!” You wave the pictures at him before slamming them down onto the table. You don’t know what you’re angrier about now; being forced into this situation before you felt ready, his seeming blindness to how the whole situation played out, or the fact that you feel like what should have been a beautiful moment is ruined and you are never going to get it back.

A waltz begins to play, the very song the two of you were hoping would be the focus of the evening, and he reaches a hand out to you. “You’re right. I made a terrible mistake. I thought it would be fun and I assumed you would be all right with it. I am sorry. I truly am. We will go have the pictures retaken. But will you dance with me? This sounds like a beautiful waltz and I don’t want to have ruined the night by making a terrible decision right at the beginning.”

He sounds sincere but you don’t answer him at first. Your mind is still awash with anger and betrayal and a sudden desire to be anywhere but in this room right now. You don’t want to just forgive him for doing this to you. But you also don’t want the night to be ruined, and right now the song playing sounds like it could be a wonderful dance and you aren’t sure how many more will be played with the selection of music likely being offered. Reluctantly, you slip your hand into his.

“We aren’t done with this conversation,” you state firmly.

“Of course not.” He twirls you gently. “But this song fits you and I want to see you dancing to it.”

You don’t know the name of the song, but it has a haunting melody to it, almost ghostlike with sliding violins. Waltzes always have a kind of built-in grace to them, a slippery seduction meant to make it easy to move to. But this piece has an additionally dramatic vocalist that elevates the rhythm to something royal and aristocratic. You can almost imagine the two of you (and the couples that are joining you on the floor) dancing in the hall of an ancient, grand mansion while a dark storm swirls outside the floor-to-ceiling windows and the dry fingers of tree branches curl menacingly in shadows on the floor, trapping the dancers’ feet in their grip.

“Pardon me.”

The familiar voice snaps you out of the daydream you are drifting into, and you rock slowly back and forth in your date’s arms as you realize Eobard is standing in front of you two. Your breath catches and your heart rate picks up instantly as you look at him. He looks as though he has stepped straight out of your daydream: a young lord trapped in a dying manor, cloaked in high-collared black and red with the light shimmering blindingly on his short blond hair. Even more shocking is the dramatic flair he has added to the outfit: a full-length black cape fastened at his neck with a ruby. He is too beautiful to touch and yet your hands…and other, sweeter, deeper parts of you…ache as you stare at him.

His eyes sweep over you and you think you see his jaw clench slightly before he speaks again. “May I cut in?”

“You’re in our way, Bardo,” your date growls, all softness and politeness gone from his voice.

“I wasn’t addressing you,” Eobard responds to him but doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Your throat is growing dry from the simple intensity of his gaze. “I was addressing your partner." He nods to you. "May I cut in?”

You finally register what he is asking, and the thrill that races through you makes you shiver. You had thought you might have the courage to ask him to dance if you had seen him here, but him asking you is completely unexpected. Saying no to him might prevent him from asking again, but saying yes would probably send the wrong message to your date.

Then again, your date certainly sent you the wrong message when he forced you to kiss him in the photo booth.

It’s a very simple question with a very simple answer.

“I would be honored,” you reply, trying to sound as cool and proper as possible. As you pull away from your date, you feel his hands clench briefly on you. You quickly look up at him, seeing the betrayal in his eyes. At first you feel smug, but then you remind yourself that he did apologize. You give him your best comforting smile. “We’ll continue this later,” you say to him, making his expression soften just a little. But the look he gives Eobard is poisonous.

Eobard’s expression doesn’t change. Instead, he unfastens the cape from around his neck and whips it dramatically off, draping it unceremoniously on your date’s still-outstretched arms. “Would you be so kind as to place this on a nearby chair?”

Redness floods your date’s face, and you start to open your mouth to scold Eobard for his rudeness, but his hands grip you firmly and he spins you away into the dancing crowd before you can say a word. Your feet scrabble as you try to keep up, and you have a feeling he’s trying to get you as far away from your date as fast as possible. Focusing on your movements, you catch his rhythm and begin to move in time with him, gaining control over yourself while still permitting him to lead. You’re angry enough now that you’re tempted to just walk out the door after this dance. When did your two best friends turn into such boys? They’re acting like you’re a prize in a competition and while that might be flattering, it’s making you feel a bit like an object and not like the lady you want to be tonight.

“You dance well,” Eobard compliments.

You roll your eyes. “You dragged me out here and I just got my balance back. Don’t patronize me.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” he answers. “I mean what I say. I saw you trying to dance with your date over there. He was trying. You were succeeding.”

You snort and sigh. “I wish the two of you would tell me why you both seem to have lost your minds lately.”

Eobard tilts his head. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Your heart pounds and you know what you hope the answer is, but coming right out and saying it feels like a such a terrible risk. Eobard’s emotional difficulties make him dangerous sometimes, the wrong word or look pushing him away for days at a time. You are not going to ruin this night, this dance, this moment that has been playing in your dreams.

“Obviously not, or I wouldn’t have brought it up,” you say, trying to put an innocent look on your face. You aren’t sure if it works or not, but the hard look in Eobard’s eyes softens somewhat, and he guides you around the floor. Looking up at him, you surrender your mind to the daydream, milking this moment for all it is worth. The seductive waltz paints the image of a great hall, decadent in its decay, the memory of opulence just as romantic as the opulence itself. And Eobard, cold and proud and throat-achingly beautiful, spins you around it, commanding your body with his touch, and commanding your mind with his eyes.

“Your friend and I,” he says in a low voice, “are both seeking your approval.”

Dear God, he actually said it. You’re almost dizzy with excitement as you frantically think of how to navigate the next few sentences. Honesty is going to be key. “You have a funny way of showing it. First that fistfight a few weeks ago and now tonight he just kisses me out of the blue and then you drag me off like I belong to you or something…”

“He did what?” Eobard stops the two of you cold, and you blink, looking up at his grey eyes, watching in surprise as they turn stormy and dark. His pale face begins to flush as he gazes down at you. You can’t tell if what you’re seeing is anger or not, but as his eyebrows draw together you feel your insides flutter. It’s more than just anger. It’s jealousy.

Eobard is jealous.

The realization makes your throat close and you swallow several times as adrenaline floods your veins. The possibilities open up in your mind, and you suddenly realize that while both men are, in fact, treating you like a prize, you are still the one in control.

“He kissed me for our photo,” you say carefully, letting the frustration and hurt show on your face. “I didn’t know he was going to.”

Eobard looks at you, his jaw clenching and unclenching, and his face continuing to grow red. His hands tighten on your waist and hand, and a strange excitement blooms in your chest. Eobard Thawne, so aloof and elitist, suffering from the simple emotion of jealousy. And jealousy related to you, because he’s seeking your approval. Despite the heat of the moment, you find yourself fighting a smile.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asks tightly.

You know the truth and you know what saying it will mean. But right now, you are unable to lie to him, captivated by the thrill of his reaction and the intoxicating crescendo building around you.

“No.”

Eobard’s chin lifts and a smug satisfaction fills his eyes as the music crescendos loudly. With a climactic crash of drums, he decisively pushes you out into a firm spin, and then brings you back in, his hand slipping to the small of your back and holding you flush against his body. And for one fiery, fierce moment, you realize that you can feel him, dear God, all of him, pressed possessively against you, and a weakness makes your knees wobble and your mouth go dry as you stare into his eyes, only inches away, and realize what he is silently saying to you.

Then the two of you are moving again as he takes everything up another notch, whirling you both within the crowd as though you have all the space in the world. The music pounds with your steps, pulsing inside of you, the melody a full-throated cry from the whole orchestra, igniting adrenaline and fire within you. Your mouth falls open to gasp for air as your eyes drift closed. You don’t need to see, only to feel the clutch of his hands and the heat of his body and the light pressure on your waist as he leads you.

And then, in one powerful beat, the music stops. Eobard pushes you backwards into a dramatic dip, holding you up while your hands claw at him. You can’t see the ecstasy on your face but a few gasps from the people around you suggest that the two of you may be in a very compromising position. You don’t care. Your body is shaking and tingling. You feel sweat dampening your skin, and the heat…you’re drowning in it. But you don’t want to move. You don’t want it to be over. Most of all, you don’t want his hands leaving you. Ever.

Your breath comes in heavy gasps as he draws you up to your feet. He steadies you, and your eyes finally drift open. The sight before you makes you shiver again. Eobard is breathing just as hard as you are, and has the same slightly dazed expression on his face that you are feeling. You vaguely realize that while you were trying to keep your balance you gripped his hair and shirt because both of them are bunched and mussed. But neither of you can look away from the other for several seconds.

Finally, he is the first one to move. He gently straightens his shirt and runs a hand through his hair. He brings his heels together and reaches for your hand. He bows, lifting your hand to his lips and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it.

“Thank you,” he says, “for the lovely dance. If you’ll excuse me, I believe I need some air.”

You nod slowly. “I…think I do too.”

Something sparks in his eyes, and he offers you his arm. You consider taking it, but the sensation that sweeps through you as you realize what the implications are stop you. You are awash in powerful emotions now, enough to know that if you go with him, you’re going to do something you want…

….oh do you want….

….but on impulse, caught up in the moment.

You know you need to gather yourself. The night has only just begun.

“I will see you back in here,” you reply, offering a polite curtsey. It isn’t a blatant rejection, just more of a ‘not now’. Eobard seems to understand and his withdraws his hand before turning and striding for the door.

You head for a different exit, catching a glimpse of your date just as you leave the room. His face is a thunderstorm, and you feel a slight chill that cuts through the hazy fog of your mind.

The night has only just begun, and you have a feeling it’s going to be a long one.

#eobard thawne #eobard thawne x reader #reader insert #mattobard #matt letscher #fanfiction #i love this song so much #how could i not write a story to it

[tarantulas4davey]

Youtuber!Ralbert Au - Part Two

once again inspired by the wonderful and fabulous @we-are-inevitable and you can find her original concept here

part one to this series can be found here

and my valentine’s concept can be found here

i finally did it guys are you proud ✨

LETS DO THIS THING

now that we’re here, i realized i forgot some vital information last time (aka i hadn’t come up with it yet but ranting to jorja helped me solidify the world thank you mother goose)

so race’s online handle is radioactive racer, and albert’s is, as we know, chaotic red

both of these come from when they were in middle school and had just made vine accounts

albert’s entire account was just videos of race doing dumb shit while he cackled in the background

race’s was just memes

but because this was middle school, race looks WILDLY DIFFERENT compared to now

he was in his full dyed hair and guyliner phase, and before he grew 8 inches the summer before freshman year, so he’s fairly unrecognizable in the vines of him (plus,,,, they were dumb 13 year olds, only their friends saw their vines)

but there’s just,,,, an account full of very cringe videos of 7th grade racetrack higgins on the internet that nobody’s connected to them yet, so we’ll do something with that eventually

now back to your regularly scheduled programming ✨

so race and ‘red’ announced they were dating about a month ago, and it’s getting increasingly difficult to make sure al’s face isn’t visible in any clips

also both of their channels are gaining more traction, and race is getting recognized more in public (which he adores, i might add)

but it means that eventually someone’s going to make the connection between the redhead race is walking around with and chaotic red

so despite how anxious it makes him

how genuinely terrified he is that he won’t live up to expectations and everyone will be disappointed

he decides to post a Q&A video to his channel and reveal his identity

it starts with him adjusting the focus onto the couch in their living room, before his stocky frame, black sabbath shirt, jewelry and freckles walk on screen, and he sits down

if anybody had any idea what to expect, the crooked grin, lip ring and custom snapback probably weren’t terribly high on their list

he lets out a breath and his grin gets a bit wider, before he waves into the camera “hey guys! so,,,, this is probably a bit out of left field, but i wanted to properly introduce myself. i’m albert, nice to meet you, but please, call me red.”

his eyes flicker to behind the camera and he rolls his eyes slightly at race’s chuckling that barely audible to the audience

“don’t you dare laugh at me, i’ve never done this before!”

“you’re doing great babe, you’re just a massive dork.”

“stuff it, blondie.”

al can’t really hold back his laughter, not completely, so he huffs a bit before turning back to the camera and properly answer questions to “let the people get to know me”

the dynamic from race’s original video revealing their roommates is flipped

the audience finally getting to see that albert’s grin pulls up slightly farther on the left side than the right

or that he fidgets with his lip ring when he’s thinking through an answer

or the utterly s o f t look he has in his eyes when he looks at racer, one that seriously doesn’t match his mischievous expression or abrasive voice

he answers questions with more ease than he expected, excited to finally be sharing, but once it comes time to hit upload he freezes

“race i don’t think i can do this”

“of course you can sweetheart, everyone already loves you”

“but what if they’re disappointed? what if i’m not cool or interesting or attractive enough? what if-“

“al i k n o w you did not just look at me with t h a t face and claim to not be ‘attractive enough’. attractive enough for who, red? people that are gonna say mean shit anyway?”

al ends up hitting the upload button and promptly hitting his forehead on his desk in anguish cause holy shit what’d i just do

all his worrying ends up being for nothing because everyone absolutely adores him and won’t stop saying how p r o u d they are and how pretty he is

“i told you, dumbass. you’re the prettiest person i know.”

“stop it, you sap.”

he starts using face cams for his (and race’s, when he’s on the chaotic red channel) gameplays and his focused face is s o c u t e

race finally doesn’t have to be sneaky or beg him to take pictures anymore

race is also incredibly excited to not have to aggressively edit all his videos to make sure you can’t see al’s face/hear his name in any of them

race “accidentally” leaves the clip of them slow dancing in the kitchen to ed sheeran in the vlog right after the face reveal

when al next films a sit down video, race is behind the camera, and they’re going through old pictures of albert from childhood (most of them have race in them too, he might as well be there)

this is when the fans discover albert blushes when he’s embarrassed

this video is also how everyone connects the old chaotic red vine account to them and race is m o r t i f i e d

they make it to a picture of them just after they got together, race leaning into albert’s side loosing his shit at something jack is doing off camera, but in-the-picture albert is too busy looking completely head over heels for race to notice whatever they’re doing over there

al just grins and looks up at race with the same stupid mushy expression

“that’s when i knew i was really in love with you”

you can basically hear race m e l t behind the camera and he just tackles al into a hug on the couch and it’s SUCH a cute couple-y moment

“yeah, and you were calling m e the sap earlier. s u r e, whatever helps you sleep at night, albie.”

“it ain’t sappy if it’s true, tonio.”

and editing-al cuts it off, but race had untucked his face from al’s neck and dragged him into a kiss

when he finally got back to filming, al may or may not have had to use cover up on his neck to make it less conspicuous, but that’s neither here nor there to be honest

also this isn’t a necessary addition but every once in awhile race or al will forget to cover up marks on their necks before filming and get absolutely ROASTED on twitter

i have a thousand more ideas for this au so i promise i will be making more at some point but here’s ✨this✨ for now

lmk if you want me to add you to a tag list or whatever cause i’m down with that

ok fín

#newsies #livesies #albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #never not read the tags #ralbert #youtuber ralbert #youtuber!au #jack kelly #is mentioned #chaotic red and radioactive racer #also that last tag is their official tag from now on #i love they #they <3 #come get yall juice #finally doing the whole making consistent content thing #ta da

[jj-bxby]

Rudy Pankow x Reader Request - Who’s Who

gif credit @toesure

Request - Can I make a Rudy Pankow request pls?? One where the reader and him are dating and the reader is part of the outer banks cast. They are doing The Who’s Who interview with Buzzfeed. They’re just being like super cute during the interview. Thanks! 🤗

Word Count - 1.2k

A/N - This is a piece where the reader is a part of the OBX cast as another character :)

“Rudy, I swear to god if you don’t stop shaking your leg right now,” you mumbled to your boyfriend as the camera’s light flickered on. He looked at you and grabbed your hand out of frame, giving it a squeeze as he smiled at you. Both of you were rather nervous, this was your first interview since you had told your friends you were dating but hadn’t brought it to public light, at least not yet. Luckily your friends were supportive as always, JD sending you both dumb memes about couples, Madilyn and Chase inviting you on a double date, and Madison always being there for you to talk about any relationship questions you had. It was like a fairytale for now, but the both of you had a few different late-night conversations about how your relationship being in the public eye could affect you. Gently sliding your hand from Rudy’s, you turned to look at Rachel, your interviewer for the day as she scribbled on a piece of paper.

“Alright guys, we’re going to be playing Who’s Who today. I’m sure you know how it works already, but I’m going to give you some questions and you’ll point to who is most likely to do the thing in question! Just be yourselves and feel free to talk more about the questions, okay?” The group chattered in agreement, and Rachel nodded.

“Okay, first up. Who’s most likely to mess up their lines?” You smiled and pointed to Rudy, as did everyone else. Well, everyone except Rudy himself of course, who had looked to Chase. He gave you a mock-gasp, when he saw your hand pointed to him, clutching his heart dramatically. “Seriously? Woooow. I just make up my own lines, sometimes is all!”

“To be fair, you making up lines stems from you forgetting them in the first place,” Madison pointed out, nodding to him.

“Look we got some of my best lines that way. Dare I say some of the best lines in the entire show,” He cocked his eyebrow and you laughed.

You mimicked your boyfriend's voice as you recited one of your favorites, “I can’t walk bro, I got polio.” Everyone erupted in laughter, while Rudy rolled his eyes. “Like I said, best lines in the show, man.”

Once the laughter had dropped off, Rachel moved to the next question. “Okay, who’s the most likely to fall or trip while filming?”

Everyone pointed to Madilyn, including herself. “Yeah, y'know that scene where I walked on the log after the storm? We had to do more takes of that than I’d like to admit, just because I kept falling off the log!” She laughed and looked at you, “And Y/N had to help me cover up the bruises the next day!” You smiled, remembering trying to brush color corrector and foundation onto Madi’s skin to cover up the nasty bruises she’d gotten, and failing horribly.

“Now that I think about it, Y/N did have one pretty hilarious trip at one point.” Madison said, glancing at you. “When we were doing a take of the Midsummer's party and she was wearing heels, she totally tripped on her own feet!”

Chase flashed a shit eating grin as he continued the story. “Yeah! And she wouldn’t have even fallen but Rudy tried to, uh, “catch” her,” Chase air-quoted, “but he ended up making them both fall. Luckily Rudy is just such a gentleman.”

You scrunched up your face and groaned while remembering that scene, but your boyfriend just threw his head back and laughed. “Hey you could have at least let me fall on top of you, that day, mister.” You joked as you bumped your shoulder into his lightly, giggling at the thought. He bumped you back, but it was harder than either of you had expected, and you fell off of your stool.

“Oh shit, babe,” Rudy said as he rushed to help you up. You sat there giggling on the floor as your boyfriend hopped out of his seat and held out his hand.

“Y‘know, I seem to fall a lot more with you around, ya dork.” You smiled as you took hold of his outstretched hand, him helping you to your feet while apologizing profusely. “Oh my god, it’s fine, Rudy! Look, I’m not broken!” You said, spinning in a circle before you smoothed out your dress. You glanced over at the others as you took your seat again, seeing the others had taken to staring at you both and grinning knowingly. You rolled your eyes as Madison wiggled in her seat at you, raising her eyebrows.

Rachel cleared her throat as she went back to her questions. “Alright guys, who is most likely to be found staying up all night?”

The votes were split between you and JD, both of you having pointed at each other. “Look I always get notifications from you texting me memes or dumb reddit posts at three a.m., JD!”

“Aha! So why are you checking them at three a.m., huh Y/N? You know I got read receipts on,” he accused, wiggling his finger at you.

You narrowed your eyes and slowly pointed your finger back towards yourself. “Touché.”

“Who’s most likely to be the ‘Cast Mom’?”

You perked as you pointed to yourself, pumping your fists in the air when everyone else did as well.

“I swear to god she has everything you could ever need in that damn purse of hers.” Rudy said with a laugh.

“She even kept fruit snacks in there for when I wanted something to snack on,” JD nodded. “Oh she has chips for me!” Chase chimed in excitedly.

“You don’t want to be around these boys when they’re hungry,” you explained.

“Yeah, y’all also have like an unlimited supply of Band-Aids and bobby pins in there too,” Madison added, Madi nodding in agreement.

“It’s true, she basically knows what we need before we need it! She’s also the best at making plans and getting all of us to show up to them!”

You look to Rachel dramatically. “What can I say, it’s hard raising five twenty-something’s all on my own.” You let out a little nose laugh at your own joke and saw the others smiling back at you, trying to contain their laughter.

“Alright, and final one for the day here, who’s most likely to end up together?”

Your eyes widened and darted to Rudy’s, before you both looked to your friends. All of them were making heart hands at the two of you while grinning devilishly. The blood rushed to your cheeks at their antics and you squeezed your eyes for a second shut as you smiled.

“Well I guess the cat’s out of the bag for everyone now, huh?” Rudy said as he passed a hand through his hair. He ducked over to give you a kiss on the cheek and flash you a grin.

“C‘mon, you guys are too cute together to keep it a secret!” Madison exclaimed.

“Yep, Madison’s right, guys,” Chase said, Madi and JD agreeing.

“Alright, alright!” You pulled out your phone and opened up your instagram, pulling Rudy over to you for a kiss as you snapped a picture of it. You tapped away at your keyboard as your friends “Awwwed” in the background. Rudy read the caption over your shoulder.

“well, it’s official now. @rudeth and i are dating 🥰”

After sliding your phone back into your pocket, you grabbed your boyfriend’s hand and laced your fingers with his.

“So I think we win the ‘Cutest Couple’ award, sorry guys,” Rudy said solemnly as he nodded to Chase and Madilyn, smiling at the giggles coming from you.

“Hell yeah we do.”

tags + moots ~ @joshy-obx @jjsredhat @jjsbxtch @jjsmaybcnk @drewswannabegirl @starksweasley @starlightstarkey @stargazingstarkey @aesthetic-lyss @shawnssongs @futuretaxcheat @overly-b

#rudy pankow #rudy x reader #obx x reader #obx cast #outer banks imagine #outerbanks #outer banks #obx jj #jj maybank obx #jj x reader #jj obx imagine #obx fic #obx imagine #jj outer banks #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank

[watchmegetobsessed]

Celebrity crush - Tom Holland

just a little something i thought about today!

word count: 3.1k

masterlist

“So this is how it’s gonna go. We’ll give you two options to choose from, you’ll say who you would rather choose to be your man, we’ll keep him and you’ll get a new face on the other side. Clear?” Ellen explains the game of ‘Who’d you rather’ to you as you nervously sit in the comfortable armchair. You shoot the audience a nervous look nodding your head.

“Sounds cool,” you clear your throat bracing yourself to whatever is about to come.

“Great, let’s see our first candidates!” she announces and you turn to the huge screen behind you when two faces appear next to each other. “We have Liam Hemsworth and Ansel Elgort. Who do you choose?”

“Um, tough start, I’ll go with Liam,” you say nodding to yourself. You’re satisfied with your choice.

“Alright next up we have Liam and…” Ansel’s face disappears and it’s replaced by a photo of Dylan Minnette.” Liam and Dylan!”

“Dylan is a cute guy, but I think I’ll stick with Liam.”

“Okay, Liam stays. Let’s see the next one,” Ellen nods and Dylan’s face is now replaced by Harry Styles. “Oh my! Harry or Liam?”

“Oh definitely Harry,” you say before you could even stop yourself from talking and the audience laughs, but totally agrees with your choice. “Just look at him! And I think you purposely used a picture where he has long hair. That was iconic.”

“He really did have all the looks,” Ellen agrees. “Okay, so we have lost Liam, now we are rolling with Harry. Let’s see the next contestant.”

As the picture changes on the screen your answer comes faster than you could even think about who you want to choose.

“Tom!” you snap immediately as Tom Holland’s photo appears on the big screen and the audience starts clapping at your fast response.

It’s been an open secret in your team that your absolute number one celebrity crush is none other than Spider-Man himself. You’ve seen all of his movies numerous times and on your latest birthday your friends even put a shirtless photo of him to your cake. You obviously didn’t post that one, but it did take a better place in your heart than the other, plain one.

“That was… pretty fast,” Ellen smirks at you and you can feel your cheeks growing warm at how unfiltered you were.

“I’m just a big fan of his,” you tell her, but your face gives you away.

“Who isn’t? Okay, let’s see the next one. Tom or Nick Jonas?”

“Tom,” you say without even giving Nick a second thought.

“Seems like we are picking up the pace of the game. Alright, Tom or… Zac Efron?”

“Tom.”

Ellen laughs at your eagerness to keep Tom, but she keeps going for two more rounds where you keep choosing Tom over Cole Sprouse and Taron Egerton, until his photo finally moves over to the middle as the winner.

“So I guess we have a winner over here. You didn’t seem to be willing to even look at anyone after Tom.”

“I told you, I’m a big fan of his,” you tell her with a shy, but flirty smile as you fix your designer dress and cross your legs.

“Have you—Have you ever met him?”

“Unfortunately not yet, but I’m hoping our paths will eventually cross. I’m a Spidey fan, seen all the movies and he is definitely my favorite so far.”

“What would you tell him if he was here now?”

You are quick to turn around and check he is not creeping his way up to you right now. You can never know what Ellen has in store for you, she is the queen of surprises when it comes to her show.

“He is not here, don’t worry,” she laughs as you sit back with a relieved sigh.

“I had to make sure,” you chuckle. “Anyway, my message to him is that if he ever wants to come and see my show, I can get him a free backstage pass,” you say and then flirtatiously wink at the nearest camera as the audience starts cheering.

“Tom, I hope you’re watching this and you are gonna take the next step. Y/N is waiting for you!” Ellen smirks before moving on with the second part of your interview.

Few days after the taping the interview finally airs and the internet goes crazy over your crush on Tom Holland. Your fans even make memes and montages of the two of you, some of them make you laugh hard when you are scrolling through your feed on your rehearsal.

To be honest, you thought it would be the end of the story, you quickly moved on since you had a sold out show next Saturday and you were in and out of rehearsals in the upcoming days, not even paying a second thought to what went down at the interview.

Saturday afternoon you are sitting at makeup when Rita, your manager walks in with the widest grin on her face you’ve ever seen.

“What’s gotten you so happy?”

“Guess who I just gave three passes to?”

You think to yourself, but don’t really have a valid guess. Unfortunately, Rita doesn’t want to give out the information that easily.

“Okay, if you can’t guess you’ll have to see it yourself. Pay extra attention to the VIP sector on the right tonight,” she hints before walking out.

“Rita! You can’t just not tell me!” you shout after her, but she is gone.

She successfully made you go crazy over who is going to be in the audience tonight, but also made sure no one gives you the info before the start, so you have to see it during the show.

“I fucking hate you,” you growl at her as you stand behind the stage, getting ready to start. The intro is already playing and the hairstylist is finishing up your hair one last time.

“Make sure to put extra effort into the Harder choreo today,” Rita winks at you and you scoff at her. Harder is one of your steamiest songs, and the dance you perform on stage is definitely a hot one where you truly feel like a badass woman in your tight, revealing costume.

The show starts off great, the crowd is going crazy and you are grateful to be with your fans tonight, but your eyes keep wandering over to the side where you are supposed to see the mysterious guest, but the lights are too bright for you to see anything other than pitch black. All lights are dimmed when Harder comes on and the red lights give just the perfect heated atmosphere the song needs. You’re wearing your skintight bodysuit and knee high boots, hair let down as you do your sexy dance with your female dancers in the back. In the middle of the song you go over to the right side where you are supposed to do a short routine on a chair, one of your favorite parts in the whole show. Singing the lines you sit down to the chair that was already waiting for you and just as you open your knees wide your eyes meet a familiar gaze and you almost forget to sing.

Tom Holland is standing in the VIP section with his pass hanging from his neck, he has his two brothers with him, but you pay little attention to them as you keep performing with your eyes glued to his handsome face.

Taking Rita’s advice you make sure the rest of the choreography is as sexy and heated as possible and you occasionally keep glancing in Tom’s direction who seems to be enjoying the show. It gives you the boost to bring the best out of yourself, he is smirking with amusement in his eyes and you catch him say something to his brothers from time to time who just nod in agreement. You’d die to know what his words were, but you can only hope he’ll come backstage after the show and you can ask him yourself.

By the end of the concert you are bursting from energy and this show will definitely be in your top ten for the rest of your life. You’re panting but grinning widely as you run off the stage and do a quick group hug with your dancers, something you never miss after every show as an appreciation and celebration of the good work you just did.

As you head to your dressing room you spot your manager who has a devilish smile on her face and you almost start lashing out on her, but then none other than Tom Holland shows up coming from the arena. You stop in your way as your eyes meet, eyebrows running up on your forehead when you see the big bouquet of flowers in his hands. He gifts you with a soft, shy smile, the one you’ve seen so many times on the big screen, but it’s a thousand times sweeter in real life.

“Hey!” he greets you waving in your way, as if you haven’t seen him. You don’t see anyone else in the room, to be quite honest.

“Hi! I… didn’t know you were coming tonight,” you admit tugging your hair behind your ear and you wish you felt less sweaty and smelly. You can only hope it’s not as bad as you think.

“I took your invitation serious,” he chuckles making you smile.

“I honestly didn’t think you’d ever see that, sorry if it was… too silly or something,” you tell him with a nervous laugh. It wasn’t in your plans to face him so fast after you admitted to the whole world that you have a fat crush on him.

“Well, it was hard not to see it when literally everyone was tagging me in posts about it.” He then realizes the flowers are still in his hands and steps closer. “Oh, I brought these for you. I hope it’s not too big of a cliché, but I wanted to give you something after the show.”

“That’s so sweet, thank you!” you tell him completely touched by the gesture as he hands you the beautiful bouquet. “Did you like the show?” you innocently ask, his look imprinted in your mind as he watched you in awe from the audience.

“It was fantastic! Really, mind-blowing. All the dancing and everything, I didn’t even know where to look.”

“Well, I saw you looking at me pretty often,” you flirt and hope you’re not being too bold. But there’s no way you are wasting this chance with Tom Fucking Holland, your all-time favorite Spider-Man and #ManCrushMonday. Though you haven’t posted about the latter, but you definitely thought about it before.

His cheeks turn red as he laughs nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

“Well, it was hard not to look when you were so breathtaking, to be honest.”

You can’t stop yourself from smiling like a teenage girl at the compliment. Even an idiot could feel that there is in fact something between the two of you and you truly hope he is feeling the same and it’s not just your crush talking from you.

“Hey, you guys should take a picture together,” Harry suggests and you suddenly feel ashamed you haven’t even acknowledged the twins’ presence.

“Oh, yeah, sure! But you guys should come too!” you tell him, but Tom is quick to differ.

“No!” he protests and you give him a surprised look before he corrects himself. “I mean—Let’s take one alone and then with the boys.”

“Okay,” you smile, and judging from the laugh his brothers try to hide you know his reasoning behind it. “I’m sorry if I’m sweaty and all,” you apologize as he stands next to you, curling an arm around your waist while you do the same and hold the flowers with your other arm.

“I think I’m just as sweaty after that show you just put out,” he admits and you can’t hold you laughter back.

Harry takes a few shots of the two of you before he and Sam joins you and a crew member takes a few group photos.

“Well, thank you for coming, I’m glad we got to finally meet,” you tell them, thinking about how you don’t want to part your ways so soon, but you have to start getting ready to leave.

“Me too, it was something to remember forever,” he admits with that same shy smile. “Hey, so I heard the big news that you’ll be performing at the Oscars!”

“Yes, it’s unbelievable! I’m so nervous just thinking about it!” you admit. It’s kind of an understatement, you’ve been practically shitting yourself ever since Rita broke the news for you that you’d be one of the performers at literally one of the biggest events all year.

“Congrats and… I guess we’ll meet in a week then.” The smile on his lips lets you know he is counting on seeing you on another occasion and you are happy he is on the same page as you.

“I guess,” you nod chuckling.

“Would it be too straight forward if I asked for your number maybe? Just to make sure we will meet that night.”

“Strictly for that reason,” you nod with a playful smirk as he hands you his phone and you type your number in quickly.

“I can’t wait to see you again,” he tells you as you hug goodbye to all three of the boys.

“Same here,” you nod before turning around and heading back to your dressing room.

 ***

 The Oscars is just as nerve-wrecking as exciting it is for you. It’s you first time doing such a huge performance and you definitely don’t want to be remembered for giving the worst show of all times. You smile your way through the red carpet even though you could break down in tears any minute. You’ve never felt this nervous before and you don’t like the effect it has on your mindset.

Sitting in your dressing room you are getting ready since your performance is just twenty minutes away. Your glam and outfit is completely done, but you just don’t feel the same in your thoughts.

From a sudden idea you send a text to Tom. It’s been an entire week since the show he attended and he texted you before you could even get back to your dressing room and you’ve been going back and forth ever since. He even FaceTimed you one night and you had a two hours long conversation about the most random things. Tom is easy to talk to and this is exactly how you imagined him. Your crush on him has just grown since you met him in real life. In this moment you feel like he is the person you want to talk to, but you doubt he even has his phone on him.

For your biggest surprise a reply arrives just seconds later.

“I’m on my way to you.”

It takes you a few moments to process that he indeed just left his seat at the Oscars to come and calm your nerves. Just about two minutes later there’s a soft knock on the door and after you call out, Tom appears in his perfectly fitted suit, looking better than ever and for a split second you forget everything and just think about how damn good he looks in a suit. When you return to reality panic sets back in and Tom can see it all in your eyes.

“Hey! Why are you so upset?” he gently asks as he steps closer to you taking your hands in his.

“I’m just so fucking nervous, what if I mess it up?”

“You won’t.”

“How do you know?” you whine, already seeing the worst things happen to you out there.

“I just know. I know, because you are literally the best. No one else deserves more to be here than you, alright? They asked you for a reason.”

“I’m just so scared something goes wrong,” you sigh, head hanging low, but he is quick to lift your chin up and make you look in his eyes.

“Everything will be alright. And if something do happen… I’ll just jump up to the table and pull my pants down so everyone will look at me and forget about what you messed up,” he tells you in an attempt to make you laugh and it works.

“That would be pretty funny.”

“Yeah? Do you want me to do it anyway?” he asks chuckling.

“No, keep your pants up,” you tell him shaking your head.

The door opens and an assistant pops his head inside.

“Y/N, we need to go, you are starting in five.” You nod your head and turn back to Tom.

“Can you come with me?” you ask him.

“Of course! Do you want me to stay at the side and wait for you?” You nod again, still feeling a little lost, but way better than before Tom arrived. “Alright. Let’s go then,” he smiles at you and the two of you walk out hand in hand.

He walks you all the way to the stage where you get your mic and earpiece, telling you encouraging words all along, calming your nerves as if it was his magical power.

“You got this,” he tells you, squeezing your hand one last time before you head out to the stage.

He was right, you got this. The song you performed was an excellent choice and the audience seemed to love the visuals and the dance. You get a standing ovation at the end and you almost start crying right there. You rush off the stage and immediately spot Tom still standing at the same spot you left him, his eyes and smile filled with pride and glory and your legs are just pushing your forward until you are in his arms, holding him tight, squeezing him happily as you squeal joyfully.

You lean back and your eyes move down to his lips the same time his gaze travels down to yours. In just a heartbeat you lean forward and your lips meet in a sweet, victorious kiss you’ve been waiting for so long. You melt into his lips, fingers tangled in his perfectly made hair as his palms lay flat on your bare back where the dress is not covering your shivering skin.

It takes quite some time for the two of you to let go of each other, one of you always goes in for just one more kiss as the backstage is rushing around you, people are running wildly to get everything in place when the show returns after the commercial break. Yet you just stand there with Tom, completely lost in each other.

“I think…” he starts quietly, a smirk hiding in his lips, “I think we owe Ellen a thank you,” he says making you laugh.

“Definitely,” you nod before pressing your lips back to his.

-

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh​ @shawn-youth​  @wildflower-cth​ @imaginashawnns​ @haute-shawn  @learning-howto-be-myselfx3​ @cutepenguin1​ @madatmendes @harrysleftchelseaboot​ @sunflower6why​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

#tom #holland #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Are you able to write a little something about dad Auston again?? It can be short. A day with him and just baby Mia and she’s like 3 weeks old, I know a throwback! He’s just all by himself at home with her cause y/n has so many errands Auston is off that day. He’s just their at home with her and it’s like fluff🥺 maybe he’s a bit nervous at first. When she sleeps that day she always on his chest. Their evening walk she’s strap on him. He really hiding his and Mia disguise well. Please if u can❤️

A/N: wow I really am incapable of writing something small, huh? Anyways, here you are my dear!

Word Count: 4.3k

"Ok, um, there's bottles ready in the fridge for when she gets hungry, you just have to warm them up. Oh, and her blanket is over on the couch, I think. Or is it in the nursery?"

Auston stood leaning against the doorway between the kitchen and living room, holding Mia as she slept, with an amused smirk on his lips as he watched you anxiously pace around the condo. It was your first time leaving Mia since she had been born. She was a little over three weeks old, and there was still a lot of adjusting that you and Auston were getting used to as new parents. 

With Auston's career, he was required to not be at home quite often because of away games. There were a few consecutive days that the two of you were able to stay at home together, just after Mia was born, but soon enough, he did have to leave. It wasn't easy, but it was something you both had to accept. 

You were nervous about your first time home alone with Mia, but with the help of Auston's family and Steph, you quickly adapted to it. But now it was Auston's turn, and it was all his fault too. 

He insisted that you needed a day to yourself. Although he knew you had no issue being with Mia as much as you were, he wanted you to have some time to just do whatever and not have to worry about anything else. So, as a giveback for all that you've done when it came to your daughter when he couldn't be there, he decided to book you a nail appointment that was entirely on him. It was something so simple yet meaningful because he knew how much you loved getting your nails done, but you just hadn't had the time to since Mia was born. It worked too because he made the appointment for a day that he would be in Toronto on a home game stretch, so there was no reason for you to oppose the idea. 

But then it turned into so much more.

Steph heard about Auston's plan for your day out and wanted in on it. So, she made plans for the two of you to go shopping and made reservations for a late lunch together. Again, you weren't opposed to a day out with one of your best friends either, immediately thinking of how much Steph seemingly loved spending time with you and your daughter over the past few weeks, but then you remembered one thing; Mia wouldn't be there. And that made you a little uneasy. 

Although you knew your fiancé was fully capable of taking care of your daughter, he had yet to do it on his own. He was looking forward to seeing what it'd be like. You, however, were an anxious mess. 

You did really well in hiding how stressed the whole ordeal was making you, but Auston knew. He was going to mention it, but he figured you knew that leaving Mia at home with him was bound to happen at some point, and yet, you still worried. 

"Am I forgetting something? Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?" You asked as you came to a sudden halt and ran a hand through your hair. 

"Babe," Auston spoke up, hoping to get your attention and tell you there's no reason to stress, but should've known better. 

"I don't think I am," you continued and moved to walk through the condo once again. 

"Baby."

"You know, I could just cancel the appointment and go out with Steph another day, yeah that's fine."

"Y/N!" He finally said, loud enough to make you jump at his sudden outburst and look to him with wide eyes. Mia shifted in his arms, letting out a small noise as she briefly opened her eyes before closing them again and falling back asleep. The two of you watched her like hawks, hoping she wouldn't start fussing, and once you both realized she wasn't going to, you looked at each other again. "You need to stop stressing yourself out. You're only going out for a few hours. I can handle this."

"But Auston," you sighed. "What if she needs me, or something happens or-."

"Do you not trust me with our daughter?" He challenged, not seriously, but knowing that'd bring you back to your senses a little bit.

"Of course I do, you know that. I'm just… worried. Extremely worried."

"You have no reason to be," he replied softly and glanced down at Mia as she snuggled closer to him, a small smile dancing on his lips as she did so. "I must say, we have a pretty chill kid, you know? Doesn't stress much, just likes to eat and sleep."

"Clearly, she gets that from you."

"Funny."

You then sent him a knowing look and chuckling, before looking towards Mia and taking in how content she seemed in her dad's arms. "Do you promise to call me if anything happens?"

"Yes, you know I will," he reasoned with you. "Can even send you the updates if you really want."

"Please! Or else I may lose my mind," you told him as he stepped closer and wrapped an arm around your waist. 

"You got it," he said before leaning down to peck your lips while being mindful of the sleeping infant in his other arm. "Now, you need to go. Your appointment is in 20 minutes."

"Ok, fine," you huffed and moved from his hold to go put on your coat and boots. Once you were done, you looked back to your fiancé and daughter and couldn't help but pout a little bit, but then Auston raised his eyebrows at you as if to ask what you were still doing there. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm overreacting."

"You? Overreact? Never," he teased, while you rolled your eyes.

"Whatever, ok, I'm going," you responded and walked to the door. "I don't think I missed anything. Say bye to Frank for me. I also can't remember where I put Mia's blanket for the life of me."

"It's in our room," Auston told you with a laugh. "I washed it last night, now stop worrying and go have fun."

"Ok, I love you."

"Love you too."

~*~

 "Would you stop looking at your phone," Steph tsked and glared at you. She was sitting across from you as you both waited for your food to arrive after a long day of shopping and some much-needed girl time. It was because of her you hadn't called Auston every half an hour to check-in, even though you felt very inclined to do so. "I'm sure Mia is fine, Y/N."

"Oh, I'm sure she is too, but it's her father that is stressing me out," you replied and turned your phone around and started tapping so that she could see what was on the screen as well. Wondering what could possibly be going on, Steph gave you a look before glancing at the device and watching, soon having to stifle her laughter before it got too loud.

You had Instagram open, and one of the first things you noticed was that Auston posted on his story. Naturally, you were curious and wasted no time tapping on his little profile picture to see what it was. 

The first picture was of Mia asleep on your fiancè's chest as he very clearly was lying on the couch. Frank was in it too, curled up by Auston's feet and the words' dad duty' were typed out in small blue font near the top left corner, making you melt a little bit at just how sweet it was. With the way Mia's face couldn't really be seen, you could tell she was snuggling up against her dad like she always did, and Auston being, well, Auston, had gone out of his way to not show her too much either. He was very private and protective in general, but once your daughter was born, it got escalated. He was even more careful about the things he posted, especially when they came to her. 

In fact, it wasn't until the next parts of his story that you realized this was the first Mia related thing he's shared on social media other than a picture he posted of him holding her in the hospital just hours after she was born. 

The next slide was a video of Mia stirring awake and stretching all while Auston's left hand was placed on her back protectively before cutting just as she was about to look towards the camera. It was ridiculously cute, but then you noticed how the following video had the green bar at the top of the screen, indicating it was shared for his 'close friends.' It was not as wholesome as what was posted before.     

Instead of another cute snap of Auston and Mia having some sweet dad and daughter time, the video was of Auston standing in front of the full-length mirror that was hung on the wall near the condo's front door while holding your daughter. Mia was still leaning against his chest, but this time wide awake with her mouth open, curious about what was going on as she looked up at her dad while he chuckled and zoomed in on the reflection until a filter made both of their faces look all wonky. 

That went on for three more slides, and you couldn't help but feel bad for Mia as she had to put up with Auston's antics. 

"Please, at least he looks like he's having fun," Steph insisted as the story disappeared, and you brought your phone close again. "Mia seems pretty content too."

"He's turning my daughter into a meme, Steph."

"Like you're any better! Weren't you the one that was curious about how well trying to get Mia to ride on Frank's back when she's older would go over?"

"It was a joke!" You exclaimed and looked at her with wide eyes. "Now, please don't repeat that. Auston doesn't need any more ideas."

Steph just laughed again.

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about putting a Snapchat or Instagram filter on her."

"Whatever," you grumbled before looking away and smiling at the waitress as she set your food down. "Leave it to you to call me out on stuff like that even when I'm not the one doing it."

"Oh, you know I'm teasing," she replied with a smile and shook her head. 

"I know, I'm just giving you a hard time."

"Yeah, yeah, that, and you just really miss them, don't you?" Steph asked, watching as you nodded.

"I do," you told her honestly. "I haven't been away from Mia at all since she was born, right, and I don't know. I feel like I've become as reliant on her as she has on me and it's not that I'm worried something bad is going to happen when she's with Auston, he is so, so great with her, I'm just worried she's going to need me and I won't be there. I'd feel like a terrible mother. But I guess me leaving her alone with her dad was bound to happen at some point, right?"

"Yes, it was, but Y/N quit being so hard on yourself," your best friend said firmly. "You are an amazing mother, and no one thinks otherwise. You're also still very new to this whole parenting thing, so is Auston, but even with how hard I can imagine it must be with him not being there all the time, I still think the two of you are doing a damn good job. Mia is lucky to have such great parents, oh, and Frank too. Can't forget about your firstborn."

"Never," you laughed, before smiling at her thankfully. "Man, you really know how to not let me get stuck in my thoughts and sass me when I need it."

"You do the same for me, hun," Steph smiled back. "It's what friends are for."

"Very true, but do know that I appreciate it. Auston and I wouldn't be able to do as well as we are if we didn't have our friends like you and Mitch, or our families keeping us sane. So, thank you." 

"Stop, I haven't been on the brink of tears like this since I first met Mia," she whined, but you knew she meant it lovingly. "Now I'm feeling all mushy."

"You and me both," you told her then glanced down at your food. "Steph, would you be mad if I headed home after this? I really do miss my family, and I know it hasn't been that long but-."

"You don't need to justify yourself, babe, of course, I'm not going to be mad."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she stated. "Mitch is going to bring Zeus down here when he comes to pick me up, and we're going to take him for a walk, it's been a while since he's roamed downtown streets. Would you mind if we stopped by to visit Mia for a little bit before going home too?"

"I wouldn't mind at all."

~*~

Back at the condo, Auston was having an interesting time. 

He would've been lying if he said he wasn't a little bit nervous about being left alone with his daughter for the first time, and the moment you walked out the door, that feeling escalated. But, he refused to let you know that he was stressed because he didn't want to ruin your day. So, he sucked it up and mentally prepared himself for what was to come. 

The first hour or so was easy enough. Mia was fast asleep lying on Auston's chest as he was stretched across the couch, thinking of how he had everything under control and nothing to worry about. He even, after a lot of consideration, decided to post a picture of his sleeping baby on Instagram, followed by another video just as she was waking up. 

But what wasn't shown in that video, was the panic he felt. 

It wasn't the first time he had dealt with a fussy Mia just after she woke up, and surely wouldn't be the last, but he couldn't keep himself from thinking of how sometimes she would simply just want her mom. 

At just a month old, you were convinced Mia was a true daddy's girl with how cuddly and content she became whenever Auston held her, but there were still times that even he wasn't enough for her to relax after getting worked up. It was clear that Mia found comfort in both of her parents, but there was the odd time she would need you to cuddle or hum her back to sleep regardless of how hard Auston tried. He was afraid then was going to be one of those times. 

Although Mia loved being around Auston, which he knew, he couldn't get over how easily you were able to soothe her. It was like you had a magic touch or something, and he didn't know how well Mia would take to you not being there once she woke up. 

However, it ended up not being as bad as he was expecting.  

Once Mia woke up, she was rather fussy, and Auston could feel himself gradually getting more anxious because of it. She didn't want her bottle, didn't need a diaper change; nothing seemed to be going right. In a spur of the moment, with not being sure what else to do, he lifted her up from where she was laying and held her close. He supported her head as she leaned against his shoulder and started swaying them back and forth, whispering soothing words of how much he loved her and how everything was going to be ok. 

She eventually stopped wailing but was still crying, and Auston felt terrible. Even Frank stayed nearby, keeping close tabs on what was going on, but still, nothing worked. Auston was on the verge of calling you, or even his mother, by that point, even though he didn't want to, but then he remembered something. Music. 

He remembered you telling him on multiple Facetime calls while he was away playing hockey how if Mia woke up unhappy and just wouldn't stop crying, you would sing to her or just put on music, and she would eventually calm down. Auston had seen it for himself a few times, too and cursed himself for not thinking of it earlier. 

Without a second thought, he grabbed a remote off the coffee table and turned on the stereo. Edwin McCain's I'll Be started softly playing from the speakers, and Mia almost instantly reacted. Her cries turned into sniffles and eventually faded into complete silence as Auston rubbed soft circles on her back and hummed along to the tune. She became so quiet that by the end of the song, Auston was positive she had fallen back asleep, but when he looked down at her, she looked up to him with wide eyes and let out a happy squeal. 

It took a lot in Auston to not melt right then and there over how much he loved his daughter. He was so glad she was content with him and decided to keep the music on as he continued swaying and singing while Champagne Supernova by Oasis began playing next. It was a dramatic performance, that's for sure, but Mia seemingly loved it for she didn't get upset again and just stared up at her dad in awe for the entire seven and a half minutes of the song. 

After that, Auston kept the stereo on as he continued holding Mia and moved into the kitchen so he could grab something to eat. Once he was done, he went back to the living room and set Mia on her blanket next to Frank while trying to figure out what to do next. He was about to put on Netflix when his phone sounded with a new notification from Snapchat. It ended up being a video from his sister Breyana zooming in on his older sister Alex as she sat across the room. Once Alex looked directly at the camera, a filter that made her eyes and mouth become huge became visible, and then the video ended with a high pitched version of Bre's laugh sounding from behind the phone. 

Shaking his head and chuckling at the two, Auston then opened the camera part of his Snapchat to send back a video of himself with the same filter. Once he started recording, he was about to say something but then decided against it as he swapped the camera to show Mia laying on her blanket, but now with the filter on her face as Auston continued zooming in. Without even watching the video, he saved it and sent it back to Bre before sitting on the floor next to Mia and showing her one of her stuffed animals. 

A few minutes later, he got a text.

Bre

Please tell me you kept that video, I can't stop laughing.

Surely it wasn't that funny, Auston thought, but when he unlocked his phone again and actually watched the video, he too couldn't stop laughing and decided to take more videos and pictures just like it. He was quick to discover which filters he liked best and some of the clips were just too good that he couldn't not share it with anyone else, so he posted them to his close friends Instagram story for others to enjoy as well. 

Auston was well aware that you would see the things he posted too, and couldn't help but laugh as he imagined what you'd say about them once you were home.

Mia eventually grew hungry, so Auston gave her some of her bottle before they mindlessly wandered back to the living room and attempted to kill time.

After another hour of him just laying on the ground next to his daughter, making random noises and expressions went by, Auston eventually grew bored and decided that he, Mia and Frank deserved some fresh air and wanted to go for a walk. He still hadn't heard from you, so he assumed that Steph somehow managed to get you to keep your cool while you were out and figured you'd still be gone for a little while longer. He didn't bother texting you to let you know they were going out, just got himself and Mia all bundled up to face Toronto's cold, February air and went on his way. 

The nice thing about winter in Toronto was that a lot of clothing was needed. If you weren't bundled up, you'd feel like you were freezing, and it always gave Auston an excuse to look unrecognizable as he roamed the streets. It was great.

This time was no exception, either. Auston put on his winter coat, boots, hat, and a scarf covering most of his face before looking down at Mia, who was almost unrecognizable. She was snuggled in her stroller, wearing a very warm and fuzzy onesie, and covered with multiple blankets because Auston would never forgive himself if she got cold. 

It was obvious she was content, though, because, after only about five minutes of being outside, she was starting to fall asleep again. 

The sun was beginning to set as a soft coat of snow fell from the sky. Although it was cold, it was nice, and Auston was glad he decided to leave the condo rather than staying cooped up in it for the entire day. Frank seemed thankful too as he tried to bite at the falling snowflakes as the three of them walked down the street. 

They soon came to one of the nearby off-leash dog parks, and Auston decided to let Frank roam around in the fenced area for a little bit. Once he let the Goldendoodle off his leash, Auston looked down to see Mia wide awake again and looking up at him. She wasn't fussing again, which Auston was thankful for, but she was moving lots and making noises, so he took that as her wanting to be held.

By the way, she cuddled up against him, it was apparent that's exactly what she wanted, and he couldn't help but smile because of it. He held her close as he glanced around to locate Frank, who was on the other side of the park playing with a chocolate lab, before reaching down to grab Mia's blanket so that he could bundle her up again. 

The next time Auston looked for Frank, he noticed a woman crouched down petting the pup. Her back was to him as she rubbed the back of Frank's ears and the chocolate lab from moments prior, walked around nearby; making sure to rub against the woman for some attention as well. He stepped closer to them, ready to call Frank back over so he wouldn't be a nuisance, but then the lab bolted towards him excitedly. 

"Woah, hey buddy," Auston said as he leaned down to pet the dog, being mindful of Mia in the process and then noticing the dog's name tag. "Zeus?"

By the way, the dog responded to his name, Auston immediately assumed this was the Zeus he thought it was and started looking around from Mitch. But then, someone spoke up from behind him.

"You know, if it wasn't for Mia's blanket, I don't think I would have recognized you," the voice said, making Auston turn around only to become face to face with you. "Well, Frank was a dead giveaway too, but you're really feeling the whole incognito thing today, huh?"

"Hey," was all he said as a smile grew across his lips. "What are you doing here? How was your day?"

"It was good," you told him. "Mitch picked Steph and me up with Zeus and were all going to come back to the condo, but decided to stop here first to let Zeusy run around a bit. I can honestly say I wasn't expecting Frank to run up to me out of nowhere."

"I'm not even surprised that he did to be honest.."

At that, you smiled.

"Me neither," you chuckled, as Auston wrapped his free arm around your waist and pulled you into his embrace. You accepted the gesture and melted into his touch a little bit before looking down at Mia. "How was today?"

"A lot smoother than I was expecting," he replied honestly. "Got a little worried at one point, but we managed."

"Good. I'm sad I wasn't needed, but I am also really glad things were ok."

"You're always needed and wanted, babe, you have no reason to think otherwise."

"I know," you responded and leaned against his shoulder as you looked down at your daughter asleep in her father's arms. "We're doing alright at this whole parenting thing, aren't we?"

"I'd say so," he said before pecking the top of your head. "It's a challenge, that's for sure, but I'm glad to be experiencing it with you."

If you weren't already feeling mushy from your talk with Steph earlier, you definitely were then. You really did love doing life with Auston and were about to remind him of that, but then a voice spoke up from nearby. 

"Is that my favourite Matthews?" Mitch asked as he and Step approached, Steph rolling her eyes at the comment. "Lemme see her."

"She's sleeping right now, but once we get back at the condo, she's all yours," you told him, knowing how much both he and Steph adored your daughter. 

"If you're careful," Steph stressed. "We don't need you almost dropping her again."

"That was one time!" Mitch argued, making you all laugh. 

"You're lucky you redeemed yourself," Auston teased before looking back at you. "What do you say we get Frank and Zeus and head back?"

"Sounds good to me," you replied, feeling all warm on the inside as you went on to spend the rest of the night with your little family and best friends.

#auston matthews imagines #auston matthews fanfiction #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl headcanon #hockey fanfiction #hockey rpf #toronto maple leafs imagine #auston matthews imagine #nhl imagines #nhl rpf

[spaced-out-imagines]

Finger Guns (Sero x reader)

Warnings: none!

If you like my stuff you can buy me a ko-fi here!

A/n: this idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I decided to finally sit down and write it. Thank you to @beatific-drabbles​ for being the beta reader for this oneshot. I hope you enjoy!

“So are we going to do anything or…?” you had asked Sero. You were currently sprawled on his bed, most of your body on the actual mattress while your head was dangling off the edge. You scrolled through social media on your phone as you gazed at him from your upside-down position.

Sero shrugged, sitting in his hammock as he also scrolled through his phone. “I don’t know, I’m pretty content with doing this,” he replied, flashing you a cheeky grin.

You rolled your eyes. “This is why old people always say our generation needs to get off our screens,” you said. There was no malice behind your words though and Sero could easily tell you were joking.

“Yeah well, why should we listen to them in the first place when they call us a bunch of things with no proof to back it up.” 

You looked away from your phone, now gazing at him instead. You paused for a moment, processing his words. “Touché,” you said before going back to your phone, “That was actually a little wise, Sero.”

“You say that as if I don’t say intelligent stuff often!” he exclaimed. His voice raised in pitch dramatically and he put a hand over his heart.

“Hmmm I don’t know, most of the time you can be a bit of a crackhead.” You snickered, he sputtered a little. You knew he wasn’t actually offended, though. The two of you had this type of banter all the time, he was just playing up his reaction to make you laugh.

You both went back to scrolling through your phones. Content to just listening to the music he had put on in the background. It was just a peaceful, relaxing moment between the two of you. And you enjoyed every second of it.

After scrolling through your timeline for a little while longer you came across a photo that piqued your interest. It was a meme post, the first line of text read “my crush: what do you mean that person was flirting with me I think I would notice if someone was flirting with me”. Meanwhile, the second line said “my pining ass who’s been flirting with them for weeks:” and under that was the picture of the plush monkey giving the camera the side-eye. 

You chuckled in amusement, causing Sero to look at you with a raised brow. “Whatcha laughing at?” he asked.

“Just this meme I found randomly. Here I’ll send it to you,” you replied. You immediately clicked the share icon and selected his username. It sent and there was a second of silence before you heard Sero let out a snort when he opened the post. “That’s too relatable, man. I feel for this person.”

“Oh yeah? So does that mean you like someone and you’ve flirted with them?” Sero asked. His eyes twinkled slightly with amusement and you felt your heartbeat a little faster at the sight. If you weren’t so attracted to him you would punch him for being so oblivious. 

You had been subtly flirting with him for weeks, ever since you decided to try and make your feelings known. It had taken a lot of persuasion from Mina, since you didn’t want to mess up the friendship between you two. But ultimately you decided to take the plunge. Alas, it yielded nothing as Sero was too dense to put the pieces together and it made you want to bang your head into a wall.

You acted without thinking, too caught up in the joking mood, as you shifted your phone in your hand. This allowed you to send finger guns his way as you said, “Yeah I like you, dude.”

Sero shot some finger guns of his own at you, that playful grin still on his face. “Oh, sweet cause I like you too.”

“Awesome,” you replied. The two of you went back to your phones for a second before you fully processed what each other said. 

“Wait, what??” the two of you said in unison as you looked at each other with wide eyes. 

He put his phone down and got up from the hammock. “You like me?” he asked. Sero began to walk towards you and you matched his actions, the two of you meeting in the middle of the room.

“That’s my line Sero! I’ve been flirting with you for weeks and you didn’t even seem to notice.” You reached out and took one of his hands in your own. You intertwined your fingers, half expecting him to pull away, but instead he just gave you a small smile.

“Sorry I guess I’m more oblivious than I thought,” he said. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on yours.

You huffed, “You don’t say?”

This caused him to laugh a little and you grinned. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. In return, he hugged you around your waist. The both of you stood there for a minute, just basking in the physical contact. “So what now?” you asked, breaking the silence.

“Now…” Sero replied, “I think I should take you out on a date.”

“I think I would like that Hanta.”

#sero x reader #sero hanta x reader #hanta sero x reader #sero imagine #bnha x reader #bnha imagine #mha x reader #mha imagine #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha dabi #my hero academia #boku no hero academia imagines #my hero academia imagines

[starrysupercell]

Second paternal-centric piece, centered on the highly dramatic Graveyard Fam! The patchwork family <3

Do I put way too many serious thoughts in things? Maybe. But I am a storyteller.

Heavily headcanon based that I've mentioned before.

Warnings: mentions of formerly living in a toxic and neglectful environment, and a current abrasive and struggling relationship between Mortis and Frank.

Ask to tag.

~

🧟‍♀️📱 Picture Perfect 🦇🎧

Emz awoke naturally, opening her eyes, and blinking away the sleep. She stared up at her ceiling blankly. What a good day's sleep!

She pulled her arm from the tightly wrapped blanket around her and slipped it under her pillow to grab her phone.

She held it above her face to replace the ceiling as the point of interest in her line of sight. It was around 1:30 pm. What have people talked about ever since she went to sleep earlier that morning?

She began to scroll through posts, ready to begin her morning regime of giving only a few hearts to a handful of posts, and maybe even one or two coveted comments from her. (It was best to leave them wanting more!)

However, she froze in her browsing when she quickly noticed a trend in today's posts. A long winded paragraph by some random of how lucky they were, a meme about single mothers, grilling pictures.

Oh, today was no day to lay in bed for half an hour before beginning her day! It was Father's Day. Emz twisted around, trying to roll out of her bedsheets.

"Ogh, stupid covers--!" She grumbled despite the fact that she loved twisting herself up in them. It helped her sleep at night.

The zombie rolled too far one way and gave a cut off yelp as she fell clean off the bed and landed on the ground painfully on her stomach. How embarrassing, she huffed, peeved. She slapped the ground in frustration and pushed herself up with the same palm. She sat on her knees and leaned on her bed, fixing her hair with her other hand. Okay, fail, but at least nobody saw that.

Absent-mindedly, the teen brought her phone up again and unlocked it fluidly. She scrolled through a few posts and ended up giving the first like of the day.

"Wait, no," She said, looking up. She had a plan for today and everything! Emz stood up and slipped her phone into her back pocket. First up, the gifts!

She bounded over to her closet and opened it. There they were. Two gift baskets for today. One for her Uncle, and one for Frank. Emz smiled. They were handmade of course, because premade goodie bags were absolutely lame!

As if she would settle for giving anything less than perfection. No, she hand picked what would go into each basket, decorated and placed it to be aesthetically pleasing, and wrapped it up with a gorgeous ribbon. She's even refrained about bragging about any of this online, to keep it absolutely secret. Man, was she just amazing or what? That was rhetorical, of course. She knew she was flawless already.

Like an instinct to survive, Emz had her phone out of her pocket and in front of her once more, camera open. She winked and stuck her tongue out with a smile, and took a picture. She grimaced.

Ugh, she had to go through her morning routine first and then take another picture afterwards. This was a terrible excuse for a selfie. With that thought in mind, Emz stretched properly, and strolled to her bathroom.

~

"Talk to me, Franklin. You know it's a mutual effort." Mortis said, poking Frank's cheek. He was leaning over the back of the couch where Frank was sitting at. The big guy tilted his head away with a grunt. His eyes were trained on the television as he tried his best to tune out the vampires.

"...Is this still about the dishes?" Mortis decided to guess since he refused to answer. "I'll have you know that I got started on them the other day. But then I got a call that simply couldn't go unanswered." Mortis paused and studied the lack of change in grump level in Frank. Okay. Maybe not that. "...If this is about my bats, I am not making them sleep outside. They like it in here. Only Robata likes it outside." Still no answer. Mortis tapped on his chin. What else could possibly be on his spouse's mind? It was already hard to believe that Franklin was mad at him, but he was just not budging in giving any hints. (Yet again!)

"Ugh," Frank grunted. "It's not just about the dishes or the bats." He started to explain quietly. Mortis leaned in attentively with a small smile on his face. Oh, it was such a rare treat now when Franklin opened up to him. Even if this was about an argument, Mortis adored the fact.

"It's about the fact that you still make excuses for your laziness." He finished.

Mortis frowned. Except for when he spouted spiteful lies and insults! "They aren't excuses! I'm telling you what happened. You know, you're not the only who lives here, Franklin. There's a thing called--"

"Good afternoon~!" Emz called out, stepping down the staircase with flourish.

Mortis ruffled Frank's hair and lowered his voice. "Hold that thought." With a pirouette, he shot a cheerful grin at Emz. "Poisoned Apple! Good afternoon!" The gravedigger greeted. Frank was annoyed, but he held up a hand to wave at Emz pleasantly. With his other hand, he turned the volume down on the show he was watching.

"Hi!" Emz said, stopping right before she reached the bottom. She was using the railing to hide the baskets. "You guys know what today is, right?"

"....Sunday?" Mortis questioned happily.

"I guess so, yeah," Emz said, "But beyond that."

Frank blinked and shook his head lightly.

"It's..." Emz paused for dramatic effect, and then lifted the baskets into view. "Father's Day! Look what I made!"

"Ooh," Mortis smiled, fangs glinting. He held his arms out as Emz walked forward to hand him his basket.

"This is for you and--" she moved on to Frank. "--this is for you!"

Mortis marveled at the items he could see, and turned it to see it from a different angle. The plastic wrap crinkled as he did this.

Frank smiled at her as she passed it over to him. With just a glance, he could already see some of his favorite things in there, he placed it aside and stood, prompting her for a hug as he walked around the sofa.

Emz was wrapped and lifted up in his large stature, pleasantly smiling. "I'm glad you both liked it." She laughed, muffled.

"Naturally," Mortis remarked, "Your craftsmanship is to die for!"

Emz was finally let go by Frank, landing on the floor. "Oh, tell me about it," she smirked. "I stayed up a couple of days ago finishing those up and they turned out perfectly!" She flipped her hair with an obvious flourish. "You can go on gushing," she said, only half jokingly as she brought out her phone to idly glance through any messages.

Mortis laughed in amusement. Frank smiled patiently. Emz was sharp around the edges, but she was endearingly so. As long as she didn't go too far...

"Oh, yeah!" She put her phone away. "You should both, like get dressed up. There's an event on the beach later on tonight, and I was thinking we could go out today. Like... my treat."

"You?" Mortis voiced for both he and Frank. "You have money?"

"Yeah? I save up. Don't you?" She asked haughtily. "Or do you just not want to go?"

Frank gave short laugh, and patted his stomach in jest. Mortis shrugged in amusement, catching on to Frank's joke. "Well, if you think you have enough for Frank, we'll be your guests, sweetheart."

~

"Oooh, futuristic," Mortis marveled, taking off the wide-brimmed hat he wore as the Trio walked inside. They were at the Zero-Gravity diner. It was a part of Starr Force's attractions.

A bored-looking feline straightened up in attention as the doors slid open. "Welcome, Civilians!" She greeted from her silvery podium. "Feeling low on energy? If you want to help out Colonel Ruffs in his quest against the Dark Lord, you should fill up while you've got the chance." She recited in character, "Luckily, you're safe here, and we've got plenty of foodstuffs that'll fill you up! So, how can I help you today?"

Emz scoffed. Did Kit not recognize them or something? "You could have skipped the spiel. Like, you know that we're Brawlers, right?"

The cat blinked slowly, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Okay. What do you want then?"

"I've got a reservation for three, under Emz."

Kit shifted her focus to the high-tech screen right beside her. It was see through. From the perspective of the Graveyard Trio, the images, texts and buttons were flipped.

Kit pressed through a few buttons, navigating through menus, and then confirmed Emz's arrival. "Alright. If you'll follow me." She picked up three devices from her podium, and began to lead the way through the restaurant. Her tail swished as she walked along.

When they got to the table, Kit waited until they were seated and placed the devices in front of the three. "Press the blue button to activate your menus." She said.

Mortis pressed it, and a holographic screen flashed into view, akin to Kit's own screen at her podium. He laughed. "This is spectacular! We should add a horror-themed restaurant to our section. It would be a hit!" Mortis exclaimed. "What say you two?"

"Ooh, that'd be sooo cute! I can run it." Emz said.

Frank grunted, and pressed the menu button. It didn't spring to life like Mortis' did, so he pressed it again, and then once more even rougher. It broke under his strength.

"Oh," Kit reached over. "Sorry about that. You can hand me the pieces, and I'll get you a replacement menu. I'll be right back." Frank did so, a bit embarrassed.

As soon as Kit was out of earshot, Emz laughed. "Our place won't have cheap stuff like here though."

Mortis grinned. Frank was less than amused and gave a shrug. It was simply an accident, and they shouldn't be rude about it.

Kit returned and activated the device before handing it to Frank. "Here you go. While you look through that, what can I get for you to drink?" She asked, readying a tablet.

"I'll have a peach iced tea." Emz told Kit.

"I'll have a glass of Merlot." The mortician decided.

Great. Now he'd have to drive. Frank rolled his eyes, and looked through the sodas.

Mortis looked over at him. "What would you like, Franklin?"

After eyeing the selections, he pointed out his choice. Mortis made a face and looked at Kit. "He'll just have a Coke."

"Okay. I'll get that to you. A waiter will be right out to get the rest of your order." Kit said. She departed from the table.

Emz hummed and stood up. "I'll be right back. Remember- order whatever you want! I'm paying." She reminded, smoothing out the cute dress she wore and then walking off towards the restroom.

Mortis watched her go, and then moved aside the menu device.

"Okay, Franklin. Let's talk." he interlocked his fingers like this was a business deal.

Frank ignored him, swiping through the menu.

"This is a fancier restaraunt. Emz is treating us, and you can tell how important this is to her, can't you? I hope you do."

Mortis paused for any telling gesture or expression, but Franklin remained quiet. The mortician continued. "Well, it'd be great if you'd drop the pettiness, if only for tonight. This is between us, not Emz."

Frank glowered at Mortis. Pettiness? Him? The big guy shoved aside the device now. He was tired of Mortis' tone and habits and everything.

"Don't even think of causing a scene here, Franklin," Mortis tensed up. "Think about Emz!" Frank frowned.

"Here are your drinks, Sirs." the black cat returned. She either didn't notice or chose to ignore the quiet tension at the table as she put the drinks down and then left.

Frank grumpily put his face in his hand. "Fine. But you're being a dick." Frank said.

Mortis was offended. "How!?" He asked indignantly.

"Drinking without even asking me, nitpicking what I want, and those are on top of the bats and dishes. And I bet you're ready with some excuse now too." Frank listed.

Mortis clamped his mouth shut. He was going to point out that it was only one, and that plain old coke at a more fancy place, really? But, that would just prove Franklin right. "Well," he struggled on what to say for only a second before finding a string. "You always keep things to yourself! How am I supposed to guess what you're thinking? You wait and get mad and then out of the blue, you just attack me!"

Frank furrowed his brows and looked aside, feeling a bit guilty.

"Hey!" Emz arrived and sat down, and scooched up in her chair. "You guys are being an itty bitty loud, you know? I'm sure you don't want people staring."

"Uhh..." Mortis said. "I suppose not. So... Franklin." He said awkwardly, trying to think of some different topic. "I think... our Brawl Ball strategy should change." He sighed, disappointed in himself. How weak of a subject.

Emz was puzzled and looked like she wanted to say something. So, of course, she did voice her thoughts. "Weren't you guys talking about, like being mad or whatever?"

"No....?" Mortis said. "Nobody's mad here. Am I right, Franklin?"

"Uh. Yeah." The big guy shrugged.

Emz pursed her lips. "Right... So this afternoon too?"

Mortis gave a tight smile. "This afternoon?" He pretended.

Emz was merciless in completely demolishing this lie. "This morning, when I walked downstairs, Frank was on the couch with the T.V. on. It wasn't muted, even though you were beside him presumably chatting. That's some weirdo way to talk if you weren't mad at someone." She said, matter-of-factly. "You think I don't know body language?"

"...." Mortis was stunned. Frank laughed at the absurdity. She had guessed it perfectly!

Emz crossed her arms though. She waited for Frank's chuckle to die down. "So, what gives? You two are going to start lying to me all of a sudden?" She looked between the two, waiting impatiently for an answer.

".....No." Mortis said finally.

"Then?"

The vampire faltered. "It's just that... well, you know. The discussions Frank and I gave, ah, doesn't have to do with you? So... why involve you?" Mortis managed.

"Okay? But, like, why lie about it." She repeated. She had an inkling about it now, given both of their awkward glances and fidgets. Her sharp tone softened, and she sighed inaudibly. Guess it was sappy truth time.

She looked down at the table, focused on the closed menu device. "I know you two argue. Like. Duh. That's normal. And, I'm guessing that you want to pretend like everything's peachy because you don't want to remind me of... well, you know who already!" She shook her head. "But I'm okay, really. I actually wake up on my own and not from endless yelling, and I'm not picked up hours late from wherever because you never agreed on whose turn it is to pick me up.." Emz paused, feeling quite at unease from sharing this, but pushed through. This was just another step at breaking her own tough shell. "What I'm trying to say is, simply arguing isn't going to remind me of my 'parents.' You two are leagues better, okay? I know you actually care about me. So you dont have to lie to me. Bicker and argue all day until your jaws fall off. You wouldn't be my Uncle Mortis and Frank without it." She smiled up at them.

Mortis had his upper face covered, just about already to cry. "Emz... I don't know what to even say..."

Frank leaned to her and gave her a kiss on her head. "It means a lot, sweetheart..." he said genuinely. Maybe he still had things to learn... He glanced over at Mortis who happened to look up then from his heartfelt pause. "I think I speak for the both of us."

They exchanged a soft smile.

"How about a picture?" Emz asked as she held her phone up.

"That sounds grand," Mortis sighed contentedly. Frank nodded with a smile.

The graveyard family bunched in together to fit into Emz's screen that she held up for all of them. On their way to posing for the perfect picture, their glasses were knocked down. The mixture of the three drinks short-circuited the menus, stained the white tablecloth and started to drip on the floor. Kit was walking by at that moment to check on another table when she saw the damage. That troublemaking team. Her tail swished around dangerously. She pulled a communicator out of her pocket and held it up to talk into it. She never took her eyes off of the Graveyard Trio. "Colonel Ruffs. This is MerXanary Special Agent Kit. Over."

"Roger!" He answered. There were squeaks in the background. No doubt the new Private was fooling around.

"There's Brawlers here giving me trouble. I'm requesting backup at the Zero-Gravity Diner. I'm going in now. Over."

"Willco." Colonel Ruffs confirmed. Kit pocketed her radio transmitter, and readied to Brawl.

Emz's camera flashed, capturing the moment.

#Brawl Stars #Mortis #Frank #Emz #Graveyard Fam #Mortis/Frank #Fortress #Neglect #Toxicity #struggling relationship #ask to tag

[miyagiri]

ATSUMU'S LONG DISTANCE GIRLFRIEND HEADCANONS!

𝒂/𝒏: this is kinda long tho,, and i have LOADS of ideas on inarizaki and the twins so ;) part two is when you finally became their manager, and their impressions on you, aka atsumu’s new girlfriend!

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄. || 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑

➼ okay okay,, here me out. you and atsumu had been in a long distance relationship for awhile now and its still going on sTRONGG

➼ yall met at a café when you visited hyogō to have a break your home which was in tokyo

➼ and you were kinda shocked that a very handsome blonde came up to you stuttering and flustered

“hey.. uh, i’m miya atsumu. if ya don’t mind, can i get to.. know you?” he rubbed his nape as he looked down on your sitting figure.

he cleared his throat when he saw your surprised face, and looked away, faintly blushing. “y-ya seem lonely with yer coffee and i can’t let a woman unattended!”

➼ you were sceptical at first,,

➼ but because he was a fine ass man you decided to let it slide and just give him your number ;)

➼ JUST ADMIT IT YALL WOULD BOW DOWN TO HIS FEET SO NO PLAYING HARD TO GET HERE GIRLIES

➼ you two started talking after the encounter and clicked almost immediately

➼ mostly your conversations were about experiences, expectations and volleyball

➼ you loved the way his eyes glimmers when he's excited about something

➼ because you had about a week there, he was constantly bringing you out on dates and slipping in flirts here and there

➼ SO. MANY. PET NAMES.

➼ sweets, babygirl, baby, babes, babe, honey, love, and the list just goes ON

➼ not that you mind because you were exchanging it too KDHAKJSKA

➼ you always call him atsu

➼ he liked the nickname

➼ he told you A LOT about his teammates, which made you intrigued because duh,, they ARE the top 2 strongest in the country ;)

➼ you adored his passion for volleyball, unlike his past girlfriends,,

➼ and when he told you that, you were so proud of yourself but kinda embarrassed that he pointed it out

➼ why? because you thought it wasn’t THAT obvious and now it’s really obvious that you were staring at him DREAMILY LIKE HE’S A DISNEY PRINCE

➼ maybe because he is

➼ n e ways,, your favourite date with him was the time he took you to the park at night with a cute maroon blanket to stargaze

he groaned. “suna was a prick yesterday. the dude was dissin’ me with ‘samu the whole damn practice!”

you chuckled and shifted your body so you could face him, “just what the hell did you do again, atsu?”

he laid beside you on the blanket and stretched like a cat. “well, i may or may not ate his chuupet at lunch-”

“you know what? you deserve that.” you deadpanned and rolled away from him.

“HEY! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE HERE, SWEETS!”

➼ after he was done talking about his team, you talked about kuroo and kenma, which was your closest friends at nekoma

➼ he was alright at first but then, until you started talking about the oh so great and handsome one, KUROO TETSUROU.

➼ you even showed him your gallery of kuroo’s meme faces that he recreated

➼ its canon LDJAKSNKAJA

➼ BOY BECAME POUTY IN AN INSTANT. HE WAS CROSSING HIS ARMS AND PUFFING HIS CHEEKS, TURNING AWAY FROM YOU

you laughed hysterically. “and that was when tetsu knocked the whole lamp post down! you should have seen his face!”

“and then-” you took a breather and held your stomach, trying to regain composure, but giving in to laugh again.

atsumu squints his brown orbs, trying not to show that he was obviously jealous on how kuroo was making you laugh until you had literal tears coming out your eyes.

“tell me more then, vixen~”

you took a deep breath and stared at him, face now red, “you’re jealous, aren’t you?”

he widened his eyes and shook his head vigorously. “N-NO I’M NOT!”

“yes you are.” you narrowed your eyes.

“am not!”

“am too!”

“am not!”

➼ and that was when you liked to see him having a tiny jealous breakdown~

➼ when your week in hyogō was finally over, he was SULKING the whole damn time

“doll.. do you have to go?? just stay here with me or somethin’!”

you sighed and gently stroke his hair, a gesture you tend to do on hime because he absolutely LOVED it.

“atsu.. i have school tomorrow and you do too. now, get off me, man-child!”

➼ you had to pry him off your arm to get into the train LMAOO

➼ after that, yall facetime each other every day and became cLOOOSER

➼ HE DIDN’T WANT HIS TEAMMATES TO KNOW BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU!! ALL BY HIMSELF!! GREEDY BASTARD

➼ his teammates was kinda suspicious because atsumu didn’t flirt with his fangirls anymore,,

➼ and even left his side chicks hanging

➼ osamu was kinda suspecting something though. TWIN INSTINCTS

➼ BACK TO ATSUMU!!

➼ after two months of talking, he confessed through face time and he was legit stuttering like the first time yall met

➼ which is ADORABLEEEE

“hey um.. angel, can i ask ya somethin’? it’s kinda urgent..” he gulped and glanced down on his macbook.

you started getting worried. why was he quiet all of the sudden? it was unusual for THE miya atsumu to be this silent.

“atsumu? you okay there?”

he looked up towards the laptop with the same look of determination when he’s on court, catching you off guard. “PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!”

you widened your eyes and paused for a solid 10 seconds, before smirking slightly. an idea came across your mind.

“i thought we were already going out?”

➼ and then after a month or so, THE FATE IS ON YOUR SIDE, your parents decided to move to hyogō because tokyo was too hectic!!

➼ which was really sudden

➼ you were happy you would get to see your boyfriend more often, but you were also depressed over the fact that you’ll be far from your crazy ass best friends in nekoma high

➼ kuroo and kenma was sad as fuck

➼ but yall promise to face time each other every night to talk about your days ;(

the bedhead grinned and ruffled your hair as you all sat on the bench of the playground of your neighbourhood. “come on now kitten! don’t be like that. we can always see each other at nationals, right?”

“b-but you’re a third year, tetsu..”

“no, kuroo’s right. we’re second years. he’s just a year older than us, doesn’t mean you and him would be gone forever, (f/n).”

kenma shook his head and patted your shoulder with a small smile. he had always had a soft spot for you, to the point that he’ll only let YOU touch his games.

you sighed and smiled at them with your brightest smile, them giving you the same gesture. “alright. you guys better update me on every stupid shit lev does.”

➼ CARRYING ON!! ITS STARTING TO GET SAD WITH THE NEKOMA DUO

➼ ANYWAYS, atsumu was ECSTATIC when he heard you were transferring to his school rather than your former one, nekoma high.

“babe guess what?!”

he raised an eyebrow and smiled at his phone. “did yah choked on onigiris again because kuroo was competin’ with ya, babydoll?”

“WHAT? NO! I’M TRANSFERRING TO YOUR SCHOOL NEXT WEEK!”

“good for y- WAIT, STOP THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ MUSIC.”

➼ HE WAS SO EXCITED THAT HE CAME EARLY TO SCHOOL THE VERY NEXT DAY AND HAD THE CUTEST SMILE ON HIS FACE

➼ thats so cute wtf

➼ osamu had a very obvious shocked expression on his stoic face for once

➼ it became suspicious to the team, because atsumu had always been moody in the mornings, ESPECIALLY on weekdays

“what the fuck is that crackhead doing in the middle of the morning?” suna grumbled after yawning beside kita.

kita eyed him for his profanities. “he’s awfully jolly on today’s morning. i wonder what’s in his mind..?” the white-haired captain trailed off, slightly tilting his head.

“I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD!~”

atsumu was now skipping and gliding around the gym, with a broom in his hands, spouting random disney songs.

“SHINING, SHIMMERING, SPLENDID!”

the middle blocker made a face as kita tried registering atsumu’s actions. he stared at him before saying, “wow, you really do act like a robot, kita-san,”

“TELL ME, PRINCESS, NOW WHEN DID YOU LAST LET YOUR HEART DECIDE?”

“let’s just let him be.” aran shook his head with a small smile.

osamu suddenly came up to him and yanked the broom out of his twin’s hands, making atsumu whine out. “HEY! THE HELL WAS THAT FOR SAMU?!”

the grey-haired twin squinted his eyes and pointed at him with the broom.

“you sang the lyrics wrong, yOU UNCULTURED SWINE-”

➼ OOPS CUT THE CAMERAS DEADASS

➼ the inarizaki team didn’t really give a fuck at first, and assumed he probably ate his favourite fatty tuna early in the morning

➼ and finally not getting a stomach ache as an aftermath

➼ that would be a dream for atsumu

➼ buT tHEN, osamu smh damn you beautiful snitch said something about his blonde twin going out a week straight and was literally NEVER at home.

➼ they started to question what in the world was their setter doing

➼ the team even purposely invited the most prettiest girl in their school to their practice on thursday evening, just to see

➼ the girl was interested but atsumu wasn’t

➼ HE HAD A STRONG URGE TO YELL “I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!” TO HER FACE

➼ the girl literally CANNOT stop pestering him and its getting quite annoying jdhajsja

“come on, tsumu baby~” she teased, while atsumu furrowed his eyebrows, serving the ball right next to her face.

it landed on the floor, the girl had a shocked expression on her face. the team stared at them, blinking twice.

atsumu stood up straight and glared at her, pointing at her with his index finger. “don’t call me that anymore, i don’t like it.”

“what?! but i called you that before-”

he clicked his tongue and walked past her, grabbing the volleyball. “i said what i said. now shut yer filthy mouth.”

➼ THE TEAM WAS SHOOKETH DJAJSJ

➼ WHY WAS ATSUMU LIKE THIS? HE JUST STRAIGHT UP REJECTED HER??

➼ they cleared their throats and resumed their practice as usual, leaving the girl surprised and embarrassed in the bleachers LOOL

➼ every break, he would go on his phone and start smiling and chuckling to himself

➼ whenever the team bring up about girls, he would shake it off with a “nah,”

➼ then the team started placing the puzzles together on their own finally and took their time to ask him the next week

➼ because HE was anticipating your arrival

➼ he talked to his coach personally about you getting the manager spot

➼ which coach kurosu and coach tarou didn’t mind at all

➼ usually they do because most of the people who wanted that spot was always a fan of the twins or the volleyball team

➼ and not someone who actually KNOWS volleyball by heart, apparently it’s you

➼ i learned a lot more in haikyuu than in pe THATS JUST STRAIGHT UP FACTS

➼ but because of atsumu wasn’t the one to choose somebody that isn’t worth the place, they let it slide without a second thought

➼ AND THEN YOUR FIRST DAY STARTED!!

➼ you were abit nervous, i mean who wouldn’t? you had been with kuroo and kenma for 10 years, you had never even thought on changing schools. YET HERE WE ARE

➼ the whole day, your new classmates were hogging you to the point that you literally cannot even SEE where atsumu was

➼ you didn't even know why

➼ but you, being the friendly girl you are, decided to let them do whatever they want

➼ until lunch came by

➼ HOMEBOY LITERALLY SCREAMED OUT YOUR NAME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BIG ASS CAFETERIA AFTER BUMPING INTO HIM

➼ he was about to glare at the person but once he realised its you, his look immediately softened and grinned widely

“watch where you’re goin- SWEETS! i’ve been lookin’ everywhere for ya!”

you sighed in embarrassment as his team and the whole cafeteria glanced at the both of you. you dusted your skirt off.

you took his hovering hand for you to get up from your butt on the floor.

“atsu-”

he was still grinning at you like a lost puppy, which made your heart melt. “yes?” you sighed, he definitely knew it.

“i’m hungry. i’m going to get some food.” you flicked his forehead, making him whine loudly before walking away.

➼ and that was when the team knew about you, and your first impression for them was GOLD.

- ̗̀➛ ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ miyagiri ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

my first hc fic kinda skek 😳😳

#miya atsumu #atsumu #inarizaki #inarizaki high #atsumu hc #atsumu headcannons #tsumu #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader

[thefanficmonster]

Sweet Tooth

Corpse Husband x Asian Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Tooth-rotting (😉) Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse isn’t one to have a big preference or craving for sweet, sugary treats. In fact, he’d even go as far as to say he’s not at all a fan of candy. Well, much to his yet to be known delight, his partner Y/N takes that as a personal challenge.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request! So sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it despite the long time that’s passed. If you do, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤ 

“Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel!“ Y/N gives the camera a wave and blows it a quick kiss with their lips stretched in a delighted grin. They clap their hands together, turning to look at their guest who’s sitting in a chair on their right, his face covered with a sticker in the final cut of the video that their viewers have the opportunity of watching. “Ok, before we address the elephant in the room, I’m gonna ask the elephant himself not to move his head too much cause this is already gonna take a long time to edit, the last thing I need is to animate that sticker over your face to follow your movement.“

“Got it, babe.“ A deep voice replies obediently, earning an approving hum in response. However, just as Y/N’s about to turn to face the camera again, the mysterious - ok, not THAT mysterious - guest leans down and plants a kiss on their cheek.

“Brat!“ They squeal as they turn to glare at the person with narrowed eyes. He doesn’t appear bothered at all, chuckling as he wraps his arms around them in an attempt to soften them up. Sadly, his tries fall through as they proceed to ignore his affection instead of reciprocating it for the sake of being petty, “Everyone, this is my boyfriend Corpse.“

“Hello, I am hand.“ Corpse says, slowly waving his hand at the camera, “I shall be your entertainment tonight.“

“Oh this is no entertainment, I have a point to prove here.“ Y/N argues, breaking free from his arms before they bend down to pick up one of the two boxes that are resting by their feet. “You see, Corpse and I got in a bit of a scrap last night...“ they trail off, distracted by the contents of the box that’s now resting on their lap.

“I didn’t think me admitting to not liking sweet stuff would provoke such a dramatic reaction from Y/N but here we are.“ He interferes, lifting a finger in the air as though that will help him be heard better or would protect him in case his partner decided to go off at him.

Y/N just ignores his input yet again, continuing to address the camera, aka their audience, “So as you guys may or may not know, my mom’s Korean and my dad’s Japanese. Since they live in their respective countries for work purposes, that means I’m always one phone call - and a little bit of a wait - away from Korean and Japanese snacks at all times. I’m a person who constantly has a snack by their side so you can bet I make that phone call often. However, about a week ago, I made that call specifically for candy, the brands I was obsessed with as a kid. I don’t know what came over me but I think it was my fortuneteller sense kicking in because this mister over here decided to CASUALLY bring up the fact that he doesn’t like candy.” They turn to glare at him before continuing, “Anyways, so luckily, the package arrived only recently so I haven’t had the time to tear open all the candy and eat it all by myself as I was planning to. That being said, today I’ll be in introducing Corpse to the world of Japanese and Korean candy - a tighter circle of it, to be specific: the candy I grew up with.” They finally turn to Corpse again, the look on their face significantly different and a lot more pleasant compared to the one they gave him a bit ago. “So, how are you feeling, babe? Are you excited?”

Although the man’s face is blocked to the viewers, Y/N can still see him and they are pretty damn close to bursting out in a fit of laughter.  “I don’t know how to feel, actually. I know you have peculiar taste so it’s either gonna be a fun experience or I’m gonna very displeased with what you’ll have me try.“

Y/N rolls their eyes, “Trust me, you won’t be.” They put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, only half humoring his nervousness, “You’ll only be trying six on camera, but my parents sent a ton more which you’ll be able to try later, ok? It was really hard for me to pick only six favorites by I don’t need this video crossing the twenty minute mark.”

With a heavy-hearted sigh, Corpse finally brings himself to rip the band-aid off and get this adventure started. “Ok cool, but don’t surprise me with anything, please. Show me what you had in mind to have me try so I can, you know, prepare myself.”

Y/N, who was busy taking out packets of candy just a moment ago suddenly stops in their movements to give him a look of disbelief, “You know none of these are poisonous, right? Like, I’m not trying to kill you or anything. There’s no cyanide, no rat poison...”

His laughter cuts them off, wrapping his arm around them and pulling them closer again, “I’m messing with you, babe. What you got for me?” He says, placing a quick kiss to their temple while sneaking a peek at the packaging of the candies they’re holding right now.

Wiggling a little looser in his grip, they first show him the three items before turning them to the camera, “These are from my mom, she sent them from Korea and they are triggering a massive wave of nostalgia right now, not gonna lie.” They giggle, adjusting the brightness a little so the products can be seen properly, “Ok so first we have the long biscuit sticks that come in many flavors but I asked for my favorite - green tea flavored, that is. Then we have Pumpkin Monaca which are probably one of my most favorite sweet treats of all time. I think you’re gonna really like them. And lastly from Korea we have these butter waffles which I used to eat for breakfast when I was running late for school - which happened often.”

Corpse snorts, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

His remark is overlooked as Y/N continues, now taking out three packets from the other package, “Now we’re moving on to my dad’s box. He didn’t disappoint either: we have soda-flavored jelly beans; Black Thunder chocolate bars which you’re only gonna steal one of because the rest are MINE; and last but definitely not least we have some classic milk candies.” Setting those down as well, they turn to Corpse yet again, this time giving his a mischievous smile that’s promising him trouble, “So, Mr. Corpse Husband, after this introduction, are you prepared to have your entire opinion o sweet food changed? And more importantly, are you prepared to develop an addiction to these treats?”

Corpse nods confidently, “Oh, I’m very prepared, thank you. Let’s just get on with it.”

Needless to say: boy, was he not as prepared as he thought he was.

It goes without saying Y/N proved their point and took the win today.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari

#corpse husband #corpse fanfiction #corpse fluff #corpse fic #corpse fandom #corpse fanfic #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse x reader #corpse imagine #corpse imagines #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fluff #corpse husband imagine #corpse simp #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #request #requests open #x reader #reader

[tenmaudaisbitch]

[HQ!!] Little Giant BOYFRIEND Headcanons~! (SFW)

Post time-skip. Ever wondered what it’d be like to date one of the LGs? No? Here you are anyway! _ft. Udai Tenma, Nakashima Takeru, Washijō Tanji, _Hinata Shōyō, Hoshiumi Kōrai!

Udai Tenma

Getting together with Tenma happens slowly because he doesn’t realize he’s even in-love with you. He doesn’t want to be “that guy” who assumes things and just thinks you’re being really nice to him and is content with your company.

BUT, as soon as he realizes these feelings are beyond friendship, he confesses basically the same day because patience is NOT a virtue or a practice he really believes in. He sees it, he wants it, he goes for it. When you say yes, he basically cheers. He’s a dork.

When Tenma’s working (and he’s a very busy man), he doesn’t respond to his phone much but to make up for it he sends you goofy selfies on his food breaks. Try not to send anything back too often because he blushes and can’t concentrate.

Tenma’s not a bragger and doesn’t talk in-depth about his personal life much, but he mentions you a lot in everyday conversation so gets embarrassed when he has to finally introduce you. Please don’t tease him! His friends are pretty chill and treat you like they’ve known you forever because of it, so it’s actually a pretty nice dynamic and they invite you to go out with them often even when Tenma can’t join.

He’s always very interested in your interests, hyping you up and encouraging you. He doesn’t care if it’s just a casual hobby or a potential business venture, he’s just really impressed by everything you do and if you give him something he puts it by his trophies.

Tenma likes making you cards even if there’s no holiday. As an artist and writer, he likes drawing your face or favorite things and is more comfortable talking about his love for you on paper. If you open up his manga in the stores, you’ll notice he’s mentioned you in the forewords. “My lover and I went to a fireworks festival and had a lot of fun. It inspired page 35 where…”

Nakashima Takeru

Getting together with Takeru is more-or-less an accident. He’s an overworked guy in V. LEAGUE Div. 3 with a day job and family responsibilities. He meant to confess to you months ago but it just kind of didn’t happen

SO, one day when you’re over and he’s wrangling his siblings, he refers to you as his significant other in his frustration and nobody bats an eye except you. “Takeru… what was with the partner stuff?” “Oh. Oh crap! Sorry!”

Takeru is very meticulous when it comes to you. Communication King, there’s no part of your schedule he hasn’t memorized and although there’s nothing romantic about being penciled in, he puts forth the effort to make every second together worthwhile. There’s not a single reservation the two of you have never met. He prefers quiet places where he can just look in your eyes and listen to you talk.

When Takeru’s working his phone is completely off. But don’t worry, his fancy watch will tell him when to turn it on so he can meet your scheduled video calls. It’s the highlight of his day to see your face again and he doesn’t care how goofy he looks with that grin plastered wide on his face.

The Nakashimas are basically your second family. They’re pretty nosy about your relationship and most of them follow your social media. Expect care packages in the mail and complaints if you don’t call enough. Sometimes it gets overwhelming but there’s no love quite like the Nakashimas when you come over and they rush to embrace and feed you.

Takeru is a bit oblivious sometimes when it comes to your interests if they’re not on your personal calendar. But when you tell him all the things you’re up to, he takes the information as very vital and researches it so you can have a proper discussion next time. It’s a bit intimidating, but very hilarious if the interest is something very nerdy and specific like ‘rock formations in the Himalayas’ or ‘K-pop fandom demographics and class.’ It’s very easy to tease him by making something up just to see him take it seriously.* He’s a fan of cuddling – he doesn’t care if you’re in public or not, he loves his arms around you and the security it provides him. Takeru will bury his head into you and just inhale. He can go for hours if you’ll let him.

Washijō Tanji

Let’s pretend this man is single… Getting together with Tanji is a very standard, romantic affair. He didn’t upload pictures on his dating profile (he didn’t know how) but his ‘resume’ was very appealing. He likes to watch sunsets, read, and try out expensive restaurants and overall just sounded like an athletic guy who takes his coaching job very seriously. A self-made, albeit serious man.* When you first meet him, you’re a bit intimidated by his scowl and wrinkles but you find out immediately he has a subtle sense of humor and isn’t off-put by your very different lifestyle. If anything, it seems he prefers the change and after the 5th date, he asked you to be exclusive. It’s in the 6th date as an official couple that you find he’s a lot more outspoken than he lets on and he smiles a lot more.

Tanji takes holidays very seriously and always discusses with you (sometimes months in advance) what the two of you should do. He makes reservations you wouldn’t be able to get otherwise because of his connections and pre-planning. Going on the rare date with him is always a glamorous, expensive affair. Your photo album and social media are absolutely wild with the amount of beautiful, professional photos you two have. Otherwise, he enjoys just staying home with you and idea of a date is food prep for the week.

He sends you short messages like “where r u” and “k” so don’t expect much. He expects to see you so doesn’t understand the need to call or message often. But if you send him selfies he always saves them to his camera roll (and then forgets they’re there).

Tanji brings you around work often and all the kids initially fear you by proximity. But give them some time, they all come to see you’re not as scary as Coach and even learn to adore you. He doesn’t act that differently when you’re around but at the very least they can hide behind you. If he can bring you on outings, he will always try to, which the athletes appreciate.

Tanji is more a listener than a talker, which only gets frustrating if you don’t have anything left to say. But ask him any questions you have and he always has an answer. You find out rather quickly that he has quite a history and he’s probably the most fascinating person you know. “What do you mean you’ve been to jail?” “Wait, you met the president?” “You were in a band?”

His affection is in all the subtle things he does to improve your lives together. He’s very considerate and enjoys doing chores for you (even when it’s your turn) or anything as simple as making you breakfast in bed when you had a long night. At first you were a bit wary that he seemed to not care about things like hugging you or saying “I love you,” but realized over time he’s a very affectionate person when your daily life became mysteriously easy.

Hinata Shōyō

Getting together with Shōyō is an adventure to say the least. He’s a hot commodity on a surface level, he has many friends and he’s beautiful and fit and really passionate. You don’t even think he's romantically interested in you until one day when he just tells you he loves your laugh and wants to hear more of it. OH. OKAY? But he shuts down any potential serious relationship, promising that when he’s accomplished his initial goal and you’re still single, he’d like to try. Ugh.

True to his word, Shōyō asks you out like it’s a proposal, taking you out for a romantic dinner almost the day after he’s signed on to MSBY. You complain that you could’ve been taken by then, but Shōyō just smiles and tells you he’s very lucky.

He’s a bit scattered when it comes to making plans with you, so appreciates when you do it for him. Shōyō always brings flowers no matter if it’s a café or amusement park, he just wants to make it obvious why he’s there with you and nothing scares off any potential threats to his date like a man carrying a bouquet. He especially loves water parks and silly events like illusion-based museums.

Shōyō is an awful texter when it comes to staying on topic, but he makes you laugh often, sending you messages and memes and links across every social media platform any time he’s free from practice. He doesn’t remember which conversation he was in, but wow isn’t this funny! Do this quiz with him! What did you get? Oh, sorry, did he not respond to your email? And now he’s liking everything on your Instagram. Shōyō…

You basically adopt Natsu as your little sister and it drives Shōyō up a wall because she always tells you embarrassing stories about him and is far brighter than he takes her for. Sometimes you come over for some home cooking and Shōyō pouts over it. “I’m your boyfriend, you should be coming over to see me!” Some of his friends don’t even know you exist because he doesn’t talk about anything but volleyball, but they find out pretty quickly from his erratic social media posting and obvious bias to your personal posts.

Shōyō has a hard time related to anything besides sports, but makes an effort to shut up and listen to you every now and then (he’s had to practice). He’s far more distracted by how adorable you look talking about your passions than your passions themselves. If you happy to be really into volleyball, prepare to talk about nothing but.* When the two of you are alone, Shōyō loves dancing with you, tickling you, and just physically touching you in any way he can. If you tell him to stop he’ll whine about it, though.

Hoshiumi Kōrai

Getting together with Kōrai happens dramatically and suddenly. You meet by chance and he’s immediately taken to you because you don’t know who he is but still treat him, a stranger, so kindly and seriously. It’s a little overwhelming but he’s such an honest, earnest guy that you can’t help but find him endearing.

After he tells you everything about him (in detail) Kōrai invites you to come watch him play. When you do, he’s so happy and finds you after the game and asks you out right then and there before the embarrassment of what he’s done settles in.

Kōrai sometimes forgets that planning outings is a 2-person venture so has to be told to step back and consider your own schedule sometimes, but he takes it in stride. He’s just excited to spend time with you and as long that happens, doesn’t care about when or where or who plans it. Take him to carnivals and festivals because he’s an expert in precision with rigged machines and loves winning you things.

He doesn’t care much for social media, but sends you very long, ranting text messages about all his thoughts like it’s a diary. It was a little scary at first to receive paragraphs from your boyfriend but now you find it cute that he wants to tell you everything about his entire day. You and Kōrai have lots of late-night and early-morning calls, regardless of if you’re talking or not. He just wants to hear your voice or know you’re there.

Kōrai invites you to meet his family often despite always complaining about it. His parents ask you lots of casual questions and like knowing what you’re up to, although his siblings are far more interested in the more intimate side of their baby brother. Kōrai doesn’t like it, not at all. He’s very protective and it’s fun to see him get riled up over you, even though it’s obvious they’re doing it on purpose. He trusts his friends with you completely, sometimes leaving you with them at outings even when he forgot to even introduce you.

Kōrai doesn’t mean to talk over you but gets very wrapped up in his own head sometimes. If you tell him he’s been doing it, he gets embarrassed and is very attentive to you. He remembers a shocking amount of your conversations and always has follow-up questions. Kōrai is at his happiest when you ask him about volleyball, though.

He has a hard time initiating physical affection, but is always happy to reciprocate and mostly just tells you how much he likes you whenever it comes to mind.

#hq headcanons #udai tenma #haikyuu!! #little giants #haikyuu spoilers #haikyū!! #hq little giants #my headcanons #hoshiumi kourai #washijou tanji #hinata shouyou #nakashima takeru #my first post is sfw how tragic

[angelicspaceprince]

Youtuber!Beetlejuice Headcanons

Ok so Youtuber/Gamer!Beetlejuice has hit my tumblr with a force, so I’m going to write my own set for you here. Also, your channel has a mishmash of subject ideas because I’m trying to cater to everyone. It looks super unrealistic but hey its fantasy bby!

This also didn’t end the way I wanted it to and it stops kinda abruptly, its half past 5 in the morning. I need a nap.

His channel is a MESS

There is no consistency, except for the fact that he posts every day

But every day, no one knows what they’re gonna get

And he does everything

Beej may promise that its going to be a conspiracy theory video, but then he posts a video of him eating tide pods straight from the bag with a shit eating grin on his face with the caption ‘DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME – I’M A DEAD GUY THESE WON’T HURT ME’ plastered all over the screen because he genuinely cares for his viewers

Lydia helps him with editing, Adam and Barbra help set up his recording space which is just a large corner in the attic, Delia helps him plan ideas and Charles just leaves him to it

If he ever posts an ASMR video, do not open it

It’s just a video of him screaming into the microphone and making loud noises with him cackling after each one

Cooking videos usually end with him just straight up eating stuff no one should eat

Gaming videos go between him playing horror and laughing his ass off at how bad they are to him playing Animal Crossings and just being so happy that these people are kind to him and want to spend time with him

Live streams a LOT

It annoys his mods a little bit because he doesn’t have a schedule, and he only gives them a 30 second warning so if they see it, they have to quickly jump on over to mod the comment section

People just love the chaotic energy he radiates and if you mention a video idea, he will most definitely do it by the end of the month because he just wants to try  e v e r y t h i n g

Lydia helps create merch for him so he can sell stuff. Most of the money goes to Lydia or the others in the house for helping him out, although he does save up to get better quality equipment to replace the stuff, he totally didn’t steal

If people mention about how depressed they are or if they feel disgusting but he makes them feel better, or even joked about suicide, in the live stream everything stops and he just looks down the camera and assures them that they are beautiful and deserve to live and suicide is never the way to deal with your problems, trust him, he knows

Everything just goes all serious until he has said his piece, no one is commenting and then he goes back to his happy self and is all like ‘don’t worry babes, I got ya back!’ and continues on chatting about nonsense for a while

He runs constant streams for charities that focus on mental health, it’s his one platform

He rarely accepts sponsors for his videos, he does have a patreon though

He has only accepted 3 sponsors in his time on Youtube, all of them were surrounding suicide and self-harm prevention

Offers really shitty advice but he has the spirit and means well

His followers affectionately call themselves ‘Juicey’s Babes’ which he finds hysterical

Anyone who’s been on a call with him can confirm that he is just as chaotic in real life as he is on his channel, it is not an act

But he genuinely cares and remembers everything about his followers, if one pops up on the stream chat, he will ask about their days and if the date went well with the guy from work etc.

Does do educational videos when he finds out from Lydia that sex ed in the US is pretty piss poor and that’s unacceptable! Teaches you how to put on condoms and what a clit is

Is constantly demonetised from Youtube but doesn’t give a shit

It wasn’t until someone suggested that he do a reaction video for one of your vids that he falls in love with your channel for the first time

It, too, is a mish mash of things but your schedule is a lot more constant, posting 5 days a week as a full time professional youtuber. It was exhausting but you love the work

Video game streaming or singing a cover of a song on alternate Mondays, Conspiracy videos or exploring cold cases and the supernatural on alternate Tuesdays, Cooking videos on Wednesday, general chat and educational videos on Thursday, Story Time, Crafts and Challenges on Friday with a live stream every third Saturday just talking smack

He falls in love with your channel so quick, and during the time he’s not filming or editing or whatever, he’s watching your videos

He joins your discord and talks there often

Lydia reaches out to you to ask if you’d do a collab with Beetlejuice and you agree, loving him on your discord chat and also the few videos you’ve seen

You agree to do a live reaction to the most recent Buzzfeed Unsolved video that was coming out that Saturday for your live stream, and that for his next gaming video you’d join in and play Animal Crossing with him

Beetlejuice is SO nervous when it comes to that Saturday, he really wants to impress you and not embarrass himself

It goes so well, people are commenting about what a good duo the two of you make as you crack jokes with one another, and even after the streaming finishes, you end up video chatting on your private discord for the rest of the afternoon

The gaming stream goes even better, having known each other a little better now and having found your rhythm which lead to a better stream

Suddenly, the two of you were doing collabs at least once a month, and Beetlejuice could feel himself falling hard for you

The two of you spoke nearly every day on Discord, mostly doing it via video or voice chat so you didn’t waste time typing

If either of you ended up on each other’s livestreams on Twitch or Youtube, everyone is a flurry because you end up joking with each other through the comments and its always fun to watch the two of you banter

Definitely have a few people ‘ship’ you and Beetlejuice is confused because what’s a ship?

Eventually, you get offered to go to Vidcon and when you told Beetlejuice, he revealed he did too but he wasn’t sure if he was gonna go

You say that’s a shame because you were really looking forward to officially meeting him and that Changed His Mind Quick Smart

There was so much prep that was going into Vidcon, you both agreed to do your stream there and just do bits of behind the scenes filming together

You both knew what you looked like and both knew you got along, but both of you were nervous the closer the day arrived

End up doing a panel together and that’s when you first meet, mostly because you were running super late and couldn’t meet before hand

Beetlejuice is literally buzzing with excitement and when you walk on stage, apologising for running late, he just beams and tackles you into a hug

He’s just so excited to finally meet you in person

(A video of him attacking you goes up on youtube and is instantly gif’ed and becomes a meme because everyone loves how excited he was to finally meet you and touch you)

You end up spending more time together than initially planned, but neither of you minded

The first video when you get back is filmed at your place and is titled ‘How I managed to snag a hottie for a girlfriend’, with the icon being Beetlejuice pointing at you with an excited look on your face, you rolling your eyes with your head in your hands

Everyone’s OTP

You keep your individual channels but definitely start doing more collabs on the reg whilst maintaining that perfect life/work balance, not everything needs to go on Youtube

You end up moving to be closer to him, you meet the family and Beetlejuice is just so so happy

And so are you

#ama writes #ama's stuff #Beetlejuice the Musical #Beetlejuice #Beetlejuice The Animated Series #Beetlejuice (1988) #Betelgeuse #ama answers #ama responds #ama replies #Beetlejuice headcanons #beetlejuice the musical headcanons #headcanons #betelgeuse headcanons #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice/reader #betelgeuse/reader #betelgeuse x reader #beetlejuice x reader headcanons #beetlejuice/reader headcanons

[artificialqueens]

Level Up, Chapter Ten (Branjie) - Holtzmanns

read on ao3 | word count: 4722

“It’s a great thing. Hey, can I be your momager? Kris Jenner style? Build a Mateo empire and all that?” Alexis’ face lights up, and Vanessa has to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Her sister never changes.

“You’re not even my mom. Besides, if you were a Kardashian, you’d be Khloe at best.”

Alexis pouts. “That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

AN: So…it’s been another month…oops. Sorry everyone! Real life is busy busy, but I’ve had time here and there to work on this fic so while it’s slow going, it’s still trucking along. Thank you guys so much for all the love you’ve given this fic so far, I appreciate it so much. Let me know what you think of this chapter as well! As usual, writ is amazing for betaing <3

Beep beep beep-

“Fuck.” Vanessa grumbles underneath her breath as she hits snooze on her alarm clock for the fifth time in a row, but looking at the 7:15 that flashes on the display, she can’t ignore her wake up time for much longer.

She’s back at work today, a shoot up in midtown. First day back after the tournament.

Not that Vanessa wants to think about it.

The evening after her last match had been a blur, the events mixing together and forming a grey cloud hovering above her brain. Maybe it’s good, though, because the last thing Vanessa wants to do is relive the way her opponent broke down the structures of her boxing skills as if doing so brick by brick.  Now, she feels no better than a beginner walking into their very first class. Hell, maybe Vanessa never had been.

Brooke must be so disappointed with her, now that yesterday’s events have had a chance to settle and allow for some reflection on their surfaces. She hadn’t wanted to show it much last night, being more concerned around whether Vanessa was okay. But now, the fact that her coaching skills are being wasted on Vanessa is probably sinking in, considering Vanessa wasn’t able to stand up to a little bit of a challenge in the ring.

The fact that Vanessa has the day off from training today feels like a blessing. She can push away the events of yesterday and hide them behind a wall in her brain, one strong enough to conceal all the humiliation and disappointment running through her veins, the types that feel like they will never clear out of her system again. She doesn’t have to peek behind the wall until tomorrow, until she’s back in the gym for another morning practice to relive how terribly she’d burned under pressure.

Vanessa reaches out towards her bedside table, fumbling around until she snags her phone by the popsocket in between her fingers just as it’s about to drop. The battery that flashes on the screen is low, nineteen percent, something that makes her frown. She’d definitely plugged it in last night when she’d gotten home, in between sulking on the couch and watching reruns of Malcolm in the Middle to try and wipe her brain. By the time she’d climbed under her covers and unplugged her phone, it had been fully charged.

The dropping battery, now at seventeen percent, is a far cry from being the most alarming thing on her screen. Not with notifications upon notifications on her lock screen from both Twitter and Instagram and, wait - one that says that Bad Bunny of all people has just followed her?

What?

Maybe Vanessa’s still in dreamland, one where she’s become a famous boxer or a rapper with connections in high places. Maybe her alarm clock is about to go off one more time to properly wake her up, because nothing about her screen makes any sense at all.

But then Vanessa’s phone starts to buzz and it’s Monet who’s trying to Facetime her, and she swipes and is about to grumble how it’s early in the morning, damnit-

“Finally! The legend herself is awake!”

“What are you on about?” Vanessa holds back a yawn as she pushes the blankets away from her legs, swings them over the side of her bed.

“You’re a meme, bitch!”

“Huh?” Vanessa’s brows push together as she heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth, phone held in one hand. “Was that Monique’s voice?”

“Not relevant.” Monet waves her hand, when a figure in the background shoots a smile to the camera. “What’s more relevant is the fact that your dumbass has gone viral. You’re trending on Twitter.”

“I’m what now? What the hell would I go viral for? I don’t do anything.” Vanessa mumbles, the toothbrush still in her mouth. “Except lose matches.”

“That’s sort of what you’re viral for.” Monique pops into the frame, a gleeful smile on her face. “Well, more like your little performance after you lost.”

Wait, what?

“What do you mean, performance? I don’t remember doing anything.”

Vanessa tries to ignore the way her heart is beating faster and faster as she spits out her toothpaste, trying to rack what’s left in her brain after actively pushing down the events of last night, because shit, did she do something stupid like have a tantrum? Throw a fit? She can’t even remember after trying to forget it all and the night feels like a blur to her, and fuck, if she’s gone and done something stupid…shit.

She’s real screwed now.

“Wait. You don’t remember?” Monet’s mouth drops open almost in sync with Monique’s and Jesus Christ, this would be funny if Vanessa wasn’t currently filled with a sense of impending doom. “You serious?”

“What did I do?” Maybe Vanessa’s voice gets a little bit squeaky but it’s a miracle that it even comes out at all, from the way that she’s about to implode on the inside.

Monet fiddles with her screen on the other end as a link pops up in Vanessa’s notifications. “Better you watch it yourself.”

Jesus Christ.

The link takes Vanessa to Twitter and fuck, it’s a video of her and her opponent after the match has ended, one that’s surprisingly good quality - probably all the professional cameras that were filming the final matches for some obscure sports network. On screen, Vanessa’s drenched in sweat and looking a little woozy but somehow her braids are still intact, and it’s nice to see that at least her opponent is looking equally as knackered. Though the referee raises the hand of her opponent to indicate the win and watching the events back, it does sting a little bit. They’re still in the ring as the tournament’s master of ceremonies makes his way over, a bedazzled microphone in his hand that sparkles under the bright overhead lights.

“That was quite the match, ladies! I gotta hand it to both of you because that was entertaining boxing. Let’s talk to you first, Vanessa, after that loss. What’s going through your head?”

Vanessa watches as her on screen self leans in towards the mic, a little bit unsteady on her feet. “Coulda done better. On that note…Miss Vanjie out.”

On screen, she sways a little bit, her eyes rolling back and-

Wait. She’d gone and fainted yesterday during the interview?

The camera pans to the floor for a second before focusing on the interviewer again, who looks only slightly alarmed as a medical crew surrounds Vanessa. “Well. That’s one way to make a statement.”

“What the hell?” Vanessa mumbles to herself, because…that’s what she’s viral for? Fainting?

What?

She goes back to the Facetime app where the call with Monique and Monet is still open, twin expectant expressions on their faces. “What’s so exciting about fainting? That’s embarrassing as hell.”

Monique looks delighted by the question. “You see, it’s memeable.”

“Very memeable.” Monet finishes, and Vanessa wants to bonk both of their heads together, really.

Text after text pops up from Monique on the top of the screen, all Twitter links and oh god, Vanessa’s almost afraid to see what they hold.  

But she has to know.

She clicks the first, the caption making her pause.

Interviewer: so why would we hire you?

Me :

There’s a cropped version of the video right underneath, and Vanessa’s not sure why she presses play, really, to hear herself say ‘ Miss Vanjie out’ and faint again.

Doesn’t get any less embarrassing than the first time she’d watched it. She clicks on another that Monique’s sent to her.

My mom: are you gay?

Me:

Vanessa can’t help but giggle because, well, the video does fit. She can’t deny that. She goes through the rest, and the way the captions get better and better is a little infuriating.

Me seeing a person from high school in public:

Me when my mom asks if I took the chicken out of the freezer two hours ago like I was supposed to:

When your professor calls on you in class as you’re about to enter REM sleep:

Good lord. Vanessa really is a meme.

She lets out a groan as she goes back to Facetime, Monique and Monet’s twin cackles an unfortunate soundtrack. “I’m really a meme. I’m a whole ass meme.”

Monet looks almost proud. “Yeah you are. ‘Miss Vanjie’ is trending on Twitter.”

“Okay, but what am I gonna do?” Vanessa almost doesn’t even notice the way that she starts pacing in front of her closet, in line with the way that her thoughts are beginning to race because fuck, this is going to be embarrassing.

Hell, it’s already embarrassing. She’s a meme, in a viral video and she’s trending on Twitter of all things for fainting at an opportune time and her mom’s probably seen it and her coworkers and the entire fucking world, for that matter. Jeez.

What does Brooke even think about all of this?

“You can’t faint your way out of this one, Vanj.” Monique snickers, growing into a full laugh when Vanessa groans, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Just a little too soon for that.”

Monet is oblivious to her internal turmoil, though, her face close to the camera on screen. “You have like, a hundred thousand followers on Instagram now. Pretty damn cool if you ask me.”

“I do? What?” Vanessa goes to the app, which opens for a split second before crashing. Damn. “Who the hell is following me?”

She tries to open it a second time and her notifications page refreshes every few seconds, with likes and comments pouring in on her recent posts. Most of them say ‘Miss Vanjie out ’, a fact that Vanessa does her very best to ignore. But hey, at least Monet is right. She does have a shit ton of followers now.

Woah.

“They want to follow the meme, the myth, the legend, that’s why. I bet you can get sponsorships and shit.” Monet’s looking excited, sharing a gleeful smile with Monique. “Damn. I shoulda fainted on television.”

“I didn’t faint on purpose.” Vanessa groans, flopping back onto her bed and trying to ignore the way her heart is pounding out of her chest. “It just sorta happened.”

It did. Not that Vanessa can remember it in the least, because the evening still feels like a blur in her brain, one that she had tried to bury in the initial embarrassment of losing the match but now, she’s not sure if she can.

It’s going to be a little bit harder to push the events of yesterday behind a wall when the whole world now knows about it. She’s going to need some Men in Black style memory wiping to even think about living in blissful ignorance now.

“Brooke said it was ‘cause you had low blood sugar. She was damn relieved it wasn’t from a concussion.”

Shit. Vanessa didn’t even think of Brooke’s reaction to her fainting, after seeing her dad go through what he did all those years ago-

“I should call her.” Vanessa rushes out, biting her lip. “Talk to you later?”

Monique waves. “See you, meme legend.”  

Vanessa rolls her eyes as she hangs up, trying to wipe her clammy hands on her pants before calling Brooke. She answers on the first ring, her eyebrows creased and a worried look on her face.

“Thank god you’re okay. You feel okay?”

“I’m a meme.”

Brooke’s anxious expression melts away, her eyes beginning to crinkle as she holds back a laugh. “That you are. How did you even manage that?”

“I dunno! I forget most of it!” Vanessa runs a hand through her hair, because hell, that’s a question she wishes she had the answer to. “Did that actually happen?”

“You bet it did. Next time, I’m giving you an extra protein bar before your third match of the day. Your energy was just drained.”

“Speaking of the match…” Vanessa trails off, busying her eyes with her closet to pull out some clothes because what is she supposed to even say, really? “I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” The confusion on Brooke’s face is genuine when Vanessa looks back at the screen, her eyebrows creasing together and it’s almost worse, really, to have to actually explain. Pick it apart.

“For losing. For not really taking in the coaching that you were trying to give me between rounds. For being overconfident during the match, I don’t know.” Vanessa lets out a breath. “I just…I feel like I let you down.”

The words really begin to settle in as they leave Vanessa’s lips, crystalizing in the air. This tournament had been the first one of hers that Brooke came to, and she just had to go and lose the last match in a blisteringly pathetic way. Does Brooke regret coaching her? Having her name attached to someone like Vanessa?

Vanessa lets out a breath as the thoughts build upon one another, filling up more and more space in her abdomen, but Brooke shakes her head. “You think I’m disappointed because you lost a match? Unless you’re the Hulk and have something to tell me, it’s impossible to win every single fight that you enter. You’re not invincible, and guess what? Boxing is hard. Really hard. Even making it to the finals on your first try is something that you should be proud of.”

“Yeah?” Vanessa doesn’t mean for her voice to come out so shaky, she really doesn’t.

Brooke for her part smiles, though it doesn’t do much to calm the beating of Vanessa’s heart in her chest. “I, for one, am proud of you. Not only for the matches that you won, but for that last one. Even when it was tough, you kept pushing until the very end. You gave it everything you had.”

Vanessa makes a face. “Quite literally.”

“Had a feeling you were going to make a splash somehow. Didn’t think it would be by becoming a meme.” Brooke keeps a straight face for approximately three seconds before bursting into laughter, and Vanessa groans, flopping back onto her bed.

She’s never, ever, going to live this down. Ever.

“At least it’s a funny meme. Could’ve been worse.” Vanessa sighs.

She supposes she’s lucky it wasn’t as humiliating as it could have been. Though as she’s trying to think about it, Vanessa’s not sure how to make it even more embarrassing. A nip slip? A crowd reaction shot?

“Speaking of which, the gym is getting tweets from news outlets trying to write about it. They want a first hand scoop.” Brooke snorts.

Vanessa raises an eyebrow. “Seriously? Are you kidding? What sort of wack news outlets want to write about a meme?”

“Think of places that start with ‘b’ and rhyme with ‘uzzfeed’.”

“Ah.” Vanessa nods, because that makes more sense. She pauses, looking at the way Brooke’s face is smiling and kind, when she doesn’t necessarily feel like she deserves it. But maybe, Brooke’s just that nice. “Also…thanks. For what you said.”

“I am proud. Real proud.” Brooke’s smile is soft, reaching her eyes, and it makes Vanessa want to reach into the screen, give her a hug. “As far as students go, I got lucky.”

“Even though I turned into a meme?”

“Especially because you turned into a meme. Don’t let the fame get into your head, though. We have practice again bright and early tomorrow.” Brooke clicks her tongue as she winks, and it’s nice, because for a minute, everything just feels normal.

“Looking forward to it.”

Vanessa hangs up the call and maybe she’s feeling a little bit better after talking to Brooke, her heart not quite threatening to break her chest open anymore. Sure, the threads of disbelief are still hanging over her head in webs because this doesn’t feel real, not really, all the notifications on her phone and the way that Monet and Monique had gleefully told her the news, giddiness mixed in with a little bit of jealousy. Vanessa’s not at the point of wanting it, not just yet. She’s not sure if she’s going to get there, just not the way that her friends would.

But hey, maybe it’ll be fun. And she has no other choice but to roll with it, does she?

“What the fuck?”

Alexis’ exclamation of surprise echoes from her bedroom and it’s enough to make Vanessa amble over, see what she’s up to.  “What?”

“How the hell did you get verified on Instagram? Totally not jealous or anything, nope.” Alexis huffs and Vanessa scrambles onto Alexis’ mattress beside her, peering over at her screen.

And there it is. A fancy blue check beside Vanessa’s 245k followers, which, when she refreshes her page, grows to 250k. Holy shit.

“But that means at least two hundred and fifty thousand people have seen that stupid video. Lord almighty.” Vanessa groans, walking over to Alexis’ bed so that she can hide her face in the blankets, as if it will hide her from everything else, too.

Two hundred and fifty thousand people now know what Vanessa looks like, and know about the idiotic things that she tends to say under pressured situations. That many people have decided to follow her on Instagram, which up until now has really only featured makeup looks and silly pictures with her friends.

Alexis pats her shoulder, looking a little too calm for Vanessa’s taste. “Technically the video on Twitter has millions of views, so I’d say the number is a bit higher.”

Vanessa’s stomach turns. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“Who said I was trying to do that?” Alexis waves a hand. “Listen, mom and I are the ones you should be thanking. We made you go take boxing classes, right? Now you can be an influencer.”

“You say that as if it’s a good thing.” Vanessa makes a face. A nice gift from them, truly. All Vanessa’s wanted in life. To be a meme of all things, a fucking meme.

One that Bad Bunny follows.

“It’s a great thing. Hey, can I be your momager? Kris Jenner style? Build a Mateo empire and all that?” Alexis’ face lights up and Vanessa has to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Her sister never changes.

“You’re not even my mom. Besides, if you were a Kardashian, you’d be Khloe at best.”

Alexis pouts. “That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Whatever Khloe, this Kim has to head out to work.” Vanessa stretches, lifting herself off the bed to grab her bag as she hears Alexis huff from her position on the mattress.

“Who says you get to be Kim?”

The thing about owning a business is that there is always work to be done.

There are bills to pay. Parents to call. Equipment to order. It never ends, not when Brooke is the sole one responsible for making sure everything gets done the way that it should.

Not that Brooke minds it too much. She likes being at the gym, even if she’s getting work done - the place is always comfortably busy, with classes taking place, athletes training on their own, parents cheering on their kids. The hum of activity in the gym is easy to tune out and becomes white noise that is comforting, a reminder of what she’s used to. The gym is a second home at this point, the banners on the wall and the constant stream of the classes as familiar to her as breathing.

It’s a home that she likes to be in.

So that’s why Brooke is there at 8 p.m. on a weeknight, despite the fact that today is Vanessa’s day off before training starts again tomorrow. She still has things to do in her office, always does and sometimes, it feels better than just sitting at home.

“Three kids fell over dramatically and yelled ‘Miss Vanjie out’ as I walked into the gym just now. Their instructor did not look amused.” Vanessa’s head peeks past the doorway and Brooke ignores the way her chest feels a little bit lighter from hearing her voice, seeing her face. Confirming the fact that she’s still in one piece.

“What are you doing here? It’s your day off.”

Vanessa shrugs, leaning against the doorframe. “I got bored. What are you doing here? Do you live here? Serious question, is there a bunk tucked away somewhere in this office?”

“As convenient as that would be, I haven’t fully lost it yet, so no.” Brooke snorts.

Vanessa plops herself down on the edge of her desk, her matching lilac sweatshirt and sweatpants dwarfing her frame while making her look cozy. “I was going stir crazy after work.”

“Hmm?”

“At home.” Vanessa shrugs, her legs swinging a little as they dangle. “Don’t wanna do any chores, can’t talk to Alexis ‘cause she won’t shut up about the fact that I’m a whole ass meme. Can’t go on social media ‘cause it keeps crashing. Also, some reporters found my number and won’t stop calling me. That’s weird, right? Where’d they find that?”

Vanessa bites her lip as she fiddles with her hands on her lap, and the sight makes Brooke’s chest tighten. Sure, Vanessa is smiles and bravado personified, someone with an uncanny ability to charm the pants off of anyone who interacts with her, but her current situation is…exposing. It’s as if she’s put on display under a lens for the whole world to see and react to and share their thoughts on, and worst of all, it’s not in Vanessa’s control, or anyone’s control for that matter.

And despite Vanessa’s charisma and extroverted personality, Brooke understands how it can be unsettling. She’s been there, after all.

If only Brooke had a way to protect her. She’s her coach, isn’t she? Shouldn’t she know what to do? Except no rulebooks that Brooke has thumbed through have ever come with instructions on what to do when an athlete becomes an internet sensation. Especially when most of the time, athletes are trying to make it big on purpose.

Brooke lifts herself up, ambling around the desk to sit down beside Vanessa. There’s a vulnerability in Vanessa’s eyes that’s not often visible when others are around, like her teammates. No, it’s an expressiveness that Vanessa has allowed Brooke to begin to witness over time - the softer sides of her, the ones that are less polished and ready for an audience, and Brooke doesn’t want to ever take it for granted.

She holds out her hand and Vanessa intertwines their fingers without a second thought, their hands fitting together like pieces of a puzzle despite their difference in size. Vanessa’s palm is warm and there’s no way that Brooke can actually feel her pulse through their grip but from the way that Vanessa’s looking up at her, she wonders if their heartbeats are in sync.

Brooke looks at Vanessa, really looks at her. She’s someone that Brooke has trained for a while now, someone who is trying to convince her to marathon Bad Girls Club, someone who Brooke considers a friend - Vanessa’s her friend, right? Is that what they are? Vanessa texts her memes while she’s at work and makes Brooke laugh more than she ever thought she could during training sessions and that’s what friends are supposed to do, aren’t they? At least, Brooke thinks so. Sure, Vanessa is her athlete and someone that Brooke trains and there’s a certain level of professionalism that goes into a coaching scenario but…it’s different. This is different.

Vanessa is more than just her athlete. She’s someone that Brooke cares about, someone who deserves everything and Brooke just wishes that she could give it to her, make her happy because her smile is the cutest thing and always lights up a room. So it makes sense, then, the way that Brooke’s heart tugs, seeing Vanessa like this, her shoulders slightly slumped and her leg bouncing from anxious energy.

“I wish I could control it, y’know? I feel like it’s a beast that’s definitely outta my skill set ‘cause last I checked, ‘Miss Vanjie’ was still trending on Twitter. How is a dumb meme spreading so fast?” Vanessa pulls out her phone, her eyebrows scrunching together when the screen is already lit up with notifications. “Christ on a bike.”

If only there was a way that Brooke could shield Vanessa from all of this - no, not shield her, but rather help her wield the spotlight that’s been cast on her. Somehow give her a chance to sit in the driver’s seat with control over what her new audience can see. Brooke wracks her brain, trying to think back to her professional boxing days and how she’d managed her career. Well, not that she’d done the managing, Detox had done that for her-

Oh.

“I don’t know if control would be the right word, but managing, maybe? I know someone who might be able to help with that.” Brooke ventures, because hey, it’s been years since she’s talked to Detox, much less been a client of hers but maybe she’ll have some suggestions.

Maybe she’ll even take Vanessa on as a client of her own.

Vanessa raises an eyebrow. “Who? The lord himself so that he can control all of social media?”

“What? No,” Brooke snorts, “though I like that suggestion. I was thinking more in the direction of my old manager.”

Hell, Brooke doesn’t even know if Detox is still in sports management anymore because it’s been years, after all. Though Brooke supposes it’s never a bad idea to at least look into her - having someone that she already knows and trusts is better than a random sleazeball who could be trying to fleece Vanessa for a fat check.

Brooke’s definitely not going to let Vanessa be taken advantage of, that’s for sure.

Vanessa looks unconvinced. “A manager? Slow down, ‘cause I’m not even a pro yet. I’m apparently the most amateur boxer to box this side of the equator, from that tournament. Wouldn’t a whole ass manager be a little fast?”

“First of all, continue that negative self talk, and that’ll translate to more reps during tomorrow’s morning workout.” Brooke gives Vanessa a look and her sheepish smile is enough to make her own expression soften almost immediately.

“Aye aye, captain.”

“Second,” Brooke continues, “you may not be a pro boxer just yet, but you seem to have splashed into the mainstream in a more memorable way than any pro boxer will ever be able to achieve. You have a platform now, and that’s not something that’s easy to get.”

“A platform built on a meme.” Vanessa mumbles, and Brooke nudges her shoulder.

“It’s your platform. Your microphone. Sure, it’s not exactly what you expected, but what big break ever is? It’s your turn to figure out what you want to do with it.”

Vanessa bites her lip. “You make it sound easy.”

“Sure as hell won’t be easy. Fame never really is, honestly. But I’ll be here with you to navigate through it and figure it out. If you’ll have me. Help you discover what kind of stage you want to have.” It’s presumptuous, Brooke knows, because she’s only Vanessa’s coach after all and it’s not like they’ve been working together for years and years, and maybe Vanessa doesn’t even care that much.

But then Vanessa’s throwing her arms around Brooke’s neck, and Brooke’s face is pressed against the soft cotton of her hoodie and it’s funny, really, how well Vanessa fits in her embrace, from the way she almost curls up against her. “You better be. You’re my coach, which means we’re automatically ride or dies, right? Isn’t that how it goes?”

“Is that how you want it to go?”

“Is that how you want it to go?“ Vanessa pulls back and the sudden uncertainty in her eyes makes Brooke want to reach out and smooth over her furrowed brow.

But she doesn’t. Instead, she pulls Vanessa back into a hug. “It’s definitely how I want it to go.”

“Good.” Vanessa’s voice is muffled as she shuffles closer in their hug. “Now call up your friend Detroit or whatever her name is, ‘cause we need her advice.”

“Detox?”

“Close enough.”

Find me at @plastiquetiaras ! Let me know your thoughts if you feel like it

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #lesbian au #boxer au #holtzmanns #level up

[mylifeasaserver]

My 4th of July Weekend: Master Post

Normally I’d have broken this up into 3 separate posts, but since anything that isn’t a meme gets about 6 notes, I’ll do what I want.

July 3

8AM - My phone rings, it’s the GM calling to ask me to come in ASAP because of callouts. It goes to voicemail because I’m not waking up - much less getting out of bed - this early for what I already know will be a shit show.

10AM - Wake up, notice a voicemail. I don’t listen to it or clear the notification.

11AM - Finish scrolling through the memes and videos my friend sent me, taking care not to clear any notifications. I know what’s up here and I’m not playing.

4PM - Show up at work right at my scheduled time and am asked why I didn’t answer my phone or call back. Well [GM] I’m not paid to be on call so I do what I want. Pretend not to have seen the notification. Get a section.

4:02PM - Somehow have 8 tables in my 5 table section because the server next to me wants cut and is refusing to take his 4 tables. Alert GM to this problem.

4:04PM - Other server is all kinds of pissed off at me, but fuck him in particular. 

5PM - Other server is cut, leaves without doing his side work, section, or rolling silverware. In fact, all of day shift leaves without doing their side work, meaning we have to stock while we work which is a shit sandwich all its own.

5:30PM - Get sat a party of 13. Get assigned a new server to take it with me. He disappears when we’re supposed to greet. Find out later he decided to hide in the bathroom.

5:45PM - Party of 13 has drinks, and the order is in. I’m asked why the other server’s section looks like shit. GM is displeased with my response of “the lazy ass didn’t bother cleaning it. Didn’t do his side work either.”

6:30PM - Kitchen finally gets the food out for the party of 13. New server actively avoids the 13 top, which is just as well since at this point I’m not splitting the tip with him.

7PM - 7 separate checks later, the 13 top is done and leaving. Reap the rewards of about $8 on their $200 bill. They thank me for the excellent service, but don’t see me mouthing “fuck you” under the mask. Immediately upon clearing the tables, get sat a 14 top.

7:05PM - New server comes looking for his share of the tip. I tell him to go away. No work = no tip. He runs to the night manager.

7:10PM - Night manager tells the new server he’s on the 14 top with me and he best actually serve them this time. He doesn’t. He’s still pissed off he didn’t get half of the $8.

8PM - 14 top is finishing eating, new server hasn’t been to the table a single time. He walks past, picks up a plate and makes it a point to tell the night manager he’s helped me.

8:15PM - 14 top is done paying, I reap the rewards of $15 on their $150 bill. Much like the last table the thank me for the excellent service but don’t see me mouthing “fuck you” under the mask. New server sees them hand me money and comes asking about his share. Gets the finger. In retrospect, probably shouldn’t have flipped him off on camera.

10:30PM - Last table finally leaves. New server tries to leave without doing his side work or section. He’s very displeased when he learns that night shift doesn’t do that and vows to only work day shift from now on. We all think that would be best.

11PM - Kitchen and dining rooms are finally clean and I make my escape. For all the bullshit I put up with I get about 8% on sales. The people coming in normally can’t afford to vacation in this tourist trap, but covid has dropped the rates enough for them to slither out from whatever hell that spawned them.

July 4

5PM - Show up to my host shift. This is a favor to the night manager, otherwise I’d never have done it. Seat a total of three tables in the next hour.

6:15PM - All hell breaks loose. We’re 40 people over capacity and telling people to wait outside after putting them on a wait. We have thirty takeouts waiting to come out, and people chewing my ass about having to wait. I tell them to social distance away from the podium unless they want removed from the wait list.

7PM - Wait list is at an hour. One woman in particular is having a hard time with it and looks in the dining room and sees a table with nobody at it, and demands to be sat there. No. Some tables are deliberately left empty due to social distancing. She demands a manager. I tell her no, I am the manager. I’m told what an incompetent moron I am, so I remove her from the wait list and tell her to eat somewhere else. She leaves, and takes her party of 7 with her. Not a tipping table anyway.

8PM - I help servers out by bussing and resetting their tables for them - whether they like it or not. Wait list is still an hour, many people choose not to wait and leave. I wouldn’t wait either. Some tables get tired of waiting for their food to come just leave. Kind of stupid since they waited an hour for a table, but that’s their business.

9PM - The server who yesterday leaves without doing side work or anything else orders me to stop seating him because he wants to leave. He’s told it has to come from a manager. Instead of getting the manager (Captain Hindsight) he chooses to leave his tables dirty so I can’t seat him.

9:10PM - I’ve cleared and reset and sat all 4 tables in his section. We’re still on a wait and until the Captain tells me to stop seating him, I’ll do what I’m supposed to because it pisses him off and that pleases me like you wouldn’t believe.

9:15PM - Captain Hindsight emerges from the office where she’s been hiding all evening to come chew on my ass. The server that wanted to leave whined that I sat him too fast, but neglected to mention about coming to the host stand to demand I stop seating him and not clearing his tables. When she tells me she should have expected me to screw it up I clocked out and left. My end time was in another 45 minutes, but I’m not paid enough for that level of bullshit. I tell the Captain I’m leaving so she can do a better job of it and walk out into the balmy air and go home.

July 5

5PM - I show up for my shift and am promptly pulled into the office with the GM and the Captain to explain why I left. I explain, and tell the GM that I’m not putting up with that shit. He knows. He also knows that I’m too lazy to make shit up and tells me to go get my section. I don’t know what - or if - anything else was discussed. 

5:10PM - Go to the host stand to find out my section and discover I have 5 tables already. Host can’t see me mouthing “fuck you” under my mask.

5:30PM - Got the 5 tables sorted, with drinks, and orders in. Kitchen is running tickets nearly an hour long. I make sure all the tables know this up front. Discover that like always, day shift didn’t bother with side work.

6:30PM - All 5 tables finally have food, one demands a discount for waiting. Since I already know there’s no tip coming, it’s denied. He was told up front that the wait could be up to an hour, chose to stay.

7:30PM - All 5 tables have paid and left. The table that I suspected would leave no tip surprises me by leaving a whole dollar behind. Assholes.

7:45PM - I have five new tables. The last one is a 5 top. One of the women at the table - clearly the leader of this little squad of shitheads - orders a water with lemon for everybody at the table and dismisses me with a wave of her hand. I stay and tell them the featured food and what food is prepared the fastest - and let them know it’s taking about an hour for food to come out. This obviously pisses her off a bit because I didn’t scurry when she wanted. I decide that she’s Sergeant Karen, and the mental image of her being a frumpy fat drill instructor pleases me.

7:55PM - I bring the waters with lemons and begin taking food orders at the 5 top. Everybody at the table orders a drink with their food. Sergeant Karen tells me that if the food isn’t ready in 30 minutes, they’re leaving. I tell her that I can’t force her order ahead of other people, and ask if she’d just like to leave now because it won’t be ready. She says no. 

8PM - Their order is in and I tell Captain Hindsight about her threat. I also tell her that she should expect to be demanded at the table.

8:05PM - Two of my five tables get their food because they ordered the things that I said cook exceptionally fast. Sergeant Karen shows me the timer on her phone already at seven minutes. I tell her that means she only has 53 minutes to go. 

8:30PM - Sergeant Karen demands a manager. She can’t see me mouthing “fuck you” under my mask. I get Captain Hindsight.

8:35PM - Sergeant Karen doesn’t make good on her threat to leave, instead ordering Captain Hindsight to give them a “substantial discount” for their inconvenience. To her credit, the Captain reminds her that I said that it was an hour wait and there would be no discount. 

8:40PM - Sergeant Karen makes a big display of packing up her stuff, but doesn’t actually go anywhere. Two more of my tables get their food, and the two that got their food earlier get their checks and pay. Sarge then demands to know how they got their food so fast and is immediately unhappy when I tell her it’s because they ordered the things that I said cook fastest.

8:55PM - The food arrives for the 5 top, brought out by my coworkers since I had other shit to do (fixing the mistakes of a newer server.) Sergeant Karen again demands a manager.

9PM - Captain Hindsight goes to the table and again a discount is demanded...but ultimately denied.

9:15PM - Sergeant Karen changes a diaper. On the table. While everybody is eating. It smells like a septic tank backed up into a nursing home. She then puts it under the table for reasons unknown.

9:30PM - I get two more tables, and two more get their checks. The kitchen is closer to caught up and it’s only taking about 30 minutes for food to come out.

9:45PM - Sarge hears me tell my new tables to expect about a 30 minute wait for food and again demands the manager. I flatly say “no.”

9:47PM - I drop the check at the table and Sarge complains one final time about how unfairly she was treated. She can’t see me mouthing “fuck you” under my mask, but the realization that I really don’t give a shit hits her and she passes the check to the poor bastard that married her. 

10PM - The restaurant closes, and Sergeant Karen leaves. Before she goes, however, she picks up the filthy folded up diaper and drops it on the host stand. Lovely.

10:30PM - The last of my tables leave, and I discover that I made over 21% on the evening - despite Sarge making sure I got no tip from her group. This would be great but with the kitchen so backlogged I still didn’t make squat. Fuck it. 

11PM - All the shit I needed to do is done. Captain Hindsight asks me what was up with that 5 top, but doesn’t see me mouthing “fuck you” at her. I just shrug my shoulders and go home.

It’s like a barely-readable story that nobody wants to scroll through. -J

#restaurant #server