#name which i didnt remember until later that i put my preferred name on the resume. and then i stupidly said yes thats me instead of what i

[cominy-kiwami]

i had a dream i was on my first day of college and we were filling out all these sign up forms in class and when i got to my student id card i decided for whatever reason i shouldnt put my real name on it for like privacy.

i had already been in previous classes and what i did then was remember the advice my mom gave me which was "teachers will prefer you if your last name ends with the letter A" so i literally just put an A at the end of my last name but now for whatever reason i thought i didnt want to breach my privacy by putting my real name on college forms so i put "Shit Suck 3" as my name and i was completely happy until a few hours later when i forgot what name i wrote, looked at my card, and realized i really fucked up and i am absolutely going to be expelled.

[sokkas-honour]

dream boy: part 3 - sokka x reader

pairing: sokka x fem!reader

request: part 3 was requested by @missmorosis

wc: 2.7k

notes: i’m terribly sorry if it may seemed a bit rushed or not exactly consistent but i personally liked the way it ended. also this is the final part, i might make an epilogue if i actually finish everything i need to do.

part one | part one 1/2 | part two

sokka wasn’t able to see you until monday, purposefully ignoring all the texts from yours friends, not wanting to know if sokka actually told them what had happened or if he had decided to keep it to himself, either way, you were better off just staying off your phone until school started. you only unlocked your phone to text zuko back and even then you didn't always have the courage to do so.

you had made sure to wake up early in order to not cross paths with the watertribe boy, his sibling or just any of your friends until you absolutely had to, preferring to simply distance yourself from the others. of course you couldn't avoid them forever, you had over half of your classes with at least one of them, two of those being with sokka, the guy who you especially didn't want to see, history and gym. gym would be easy to avoid him in, you had become acquaintances with this lovely girl called jin, whom you also shared your math class with, you could just spend the whole period with her and avoid him. your real problem was going to be history. your teacher, mister kuzon, had informed the class that there would be a group project on any cultural aspect from the water tribe, and he had chosen the groups. the chance of you actually being paired with sokka was miniscule but the universe hadn’t seemed to be going easy on you lately.

and much to your dismay, the universe was in fact against you. when your history teacher’s voice had posted the groups, your heart had started racing as you approached the board to see the pairs, your heart was racing in fear and it dropped when you saw the name y/n next to sokka.

after being asked to sit next to your partner to get started, you stayed silent as you plopped down on the chair next to the boy who you were still trying to avoid, staying silent and keeping your eyes in front of you.

“are you going to work with me or is it going to be a silent treatment the whole time.” he questioned, turning to face you, arm hooked around the back of his chair as he looked at you desperately for any sign of you acknowledging his presence.

“i was thinking we could talk about the differences in the cuisine in the north and south.” you mumbled, chin on your hand as you kept your gaze on the board in front of you, ignoring the boy who was still searching for an answer.

“yeah, sounds good.” sokka sighed, giving up on receiving a straight answer from you. he turned back in his seat, disappointment radiating off of him, making you bite your lip in guilt. you shot him a glance from the corner of your eye as you saw him discreetly take his phone out to open the notes app but before you could see what he was typing he turned to face you, catching you right in the act.

“uh, saturday at your place?” seemed like the only logical way out of the embarrassing situation you had just walked into, still not breaking the staring between the two of you. you felt your heart speed up a bit at the extended eye contact, not having looked into his blue eyes in awhile, the last time being before you stormed out of his house after your confession.

“sounds good.” he offered you a small smile, happy to see that your attempt at a cold shoulder was somewhat backfiring, knowing that you couldn't avoid him forever. he let the stare linger a bit before turning his attention back to his phone and you quickly snapped back to your notes taken during the class. thanking yourself for not letting the stupid smile heat your cheeks up, now all you had to do was finish the class with a not so uncomfortable silence between the two of you.

the bell didn't take too long to ring before you had to move onto your next class which was the one you detested the most, science. courage surged through you as you waved goodbye to sokka, earning a bright smile back from the boy before you dashed out of the class. to anyone, that might have seemed rather pointless that you felt as proud as you did, a wave goodbye was considered an act of politeness, but that had been the first time you had really addressed sokka in any way since the unplanned confession. he had probably realised that as well, giving a reason for the sudden bright smile on his features.

you practically sprinted towards your science classroom, holding your books tightly to your chest to not let them fly out of your grip. you hoped zuko was already there, knowing he’d want to hear the rather big step you’d just taken in repairing your friendship with your childhood friend. you were surprised that the thought of slowly getting over him in order to just be friends had slipped your mind, remembering that this morning you didn't want anything to have to do with him for the rest of your life, wanting to just stay away from him to not ignite anything in you, but you were slowly realising it was ridiculous to throw away the friendship for your unrequited crush. you two may not be as close as before but you could still stay friends, you could still hangout with him without feeling like your heart was shattering every moment you’d meet his beautiful ocean eyes.

“zuko!” you called for him as soon as you spotted the back of his black haired head, whipping his head around to greet you with a grin, happy that you weren't ignoring him like he thought you might, considering your answers to his texts were rather sporadic and vague.

“happy to see you’re alive y/n.” he joked as soon as you caught up with him, both of you walking at the same height as you entered the room, taking a seat next to each other as you always did, even when the two of you werent as close as you were now.

“i think i’m ready to fully start moving on.” you announced, taking a deep breath before letting him know of your future plans, determination in yours eyes and tone as you felt set to move on from your crush.

“really? i'm surprised it didn't take longer.” his eyes grew a bit at your proclamation, not expecting to hear you say those words this early, thinking he’d have to see you distance yourself from everyone for weeks but it only took a day or two, making him slightly septic at how long you would actually last with your new resolution but nonetheless he was proud of you.

“yeah well i’m kind of stuck with sokka for a history project and i figured might as well start moving on from him. i still want to be friends with him.” you explained, taking your science homework out so you were prepared whenever the teacher would come on in.

“i’m proud of you y/n, its very mature of you.” he placed his hand on your shoulder, sincerity in his tone lifting your spirits up at the thought of repairing whatever damage you might’ve caused and the thought of the damage you were avoiding by taking action now instead of later.

saturday rolled around and you had managed to have some sort of small talk with sokka during your classes, still deciding to spend your lunch period with jin instead of your usual friends but it was a start to where you thought you would be saturday after you left. you had stopped eating with your friends a little over a week ago, opting to spend time with the lovely girl from your math class. you had had trouble sleeping friday night, scared of going to sokka’s house and falling back to where you started, back to square one, back in love with a friend who was already taken by a lovely girl.

your feet felt rather heavy as you walked down the familiar path to his house, bag with a your notebook and history course around your shoulder as you retraced the steps you had followed almost everyday during that particular summer, always going to sokka’s house to entertain yourself while school was out.

you first lingered in the air above the door for a couple of seconds, taking a deeo breath in to calm your nerves before you finally knocked. it didnt take long before it was opened, sokka with an eager smile on his lips was who greeted you behind the door.

“finally, you shouldve been here an hour ago!” he lamented jokingly as he moved out of the way to let you in, causing you to roll your eyes at how dramatic your friend was.

“sokka, im five minutes late.” you deadpanned, hastily taking your shoes off, leaning against a nearby wall for support.

“exactly!” he exclaimed, his voice cracking slightly and suddenly you felt as though nothing ever happened, as if your feelings had never come to make you want to change whatever relationship you had with him, simply feeling as though the two of you were just friends.

“really sokka? dont you reme,ber when i waited an hour for you outside in the freezing cold in the woods so we could make a campfire together? or that time where we were late in eight grade because someone accidentally put on ripped pants? or-”

“alright i get it.” he held his hands up in defeat at your inquisitive look, knowing you were only joking around with him to make him feel slightly guilty for all the times he had been late.

“my dad made seaweed noodles for us to eat while we work, hope thats okay.” shoving his hands in his pockets, waiting to see you reaction at the mention of one of your favorite dishes that he’d always insist his father to make you whenever you’d come by.

“no way!” you dashed into the kitchen, leaving sokka by himself at the entrance, surprised at how fast the two of you had seemed to ease back into things and some part of it seemed to good to be true but he was happy to have you back.

“wait for me!” he called for you, spending slightly to join you. a reminiscent smile on his lips as he watched you excitedly poor yourself a bowl, knowing where everything in the hous ewas from it practically being a second home for you during all those years.

“you’ll have to say thank you to hakoda.” you told him as you eyed the noodles, your stomach rumbling as you brought it to the table, it had been too long since you had eaten his father’s cooking.

“y/n, you havent even eaten it yet, how do you know its good?” he laughed as he watched you carefully bring the bowl to the dinner table, trying to get to it as fast as you could but still making sure to not let any of the broth spill out.

“because your dad’s seaweed noodles are the best!” you defended your previous statements, taking a seat as you waited for sokka to make his own bowl and bring chopsticks for the both of you. the watertribe boy nodded, slightly mocking you in his own playful way. while you waited for him to rejoin you, you took out the notebook you used for your history notes and grabbed a pen that was sitting on the table.

you scribbled down the title of your project and tapped your pen, impatient waiting to be able to dig into your steaming hot dish.

“have any ideas for the presentation?” sokka startled you slightly, coming from behind you to lean over your shoulde to see if you had written anything but he was met with a blank page.

“no, now get me my chopsticks idioy.” you shoved his head away, earning a protestful ‘hey’ from him as your brought your hand back to wram themselvbes on the bowl.

“here.” he placed the chopsticks next to the bowl before making his way around the table to sit in front of you, slowly blowing on his soup to cool it down.

“took you long enough.” you teased before you grabbed them to pick up some of the noodles, cooling them off with your breath before shoving some of it into your mouth. sokka started laughing at how quickly you engulfed the noodles that his father had spent the morning making.

you flipped him off, not caring at how ‘unlady like’ you might’ve looked but it had been forever since you had tasted his father’s seaweed noodles, during winter it was a staple food for whenever you would spend the night but since the weather had gotten warmer and you had grown more distant, it had been a hot minute since you had a traditional dish of the southern water tribe, something you’d most definitely use in your comparison of the different cuisines.

“before we start, i wanted to talk to you about something.” sokka brought his hand down, deciding not to eat just yet but rather address the elephant in the room.

“yeah?” you knew where this was going so you finished chewing what was in your mouth and swallowed, keeping your eyes on the food as you wiated for sokka’s question.

“so where do we stand, us? i mean two days ago you stormed off, after weeks of us not actually talking and now it feels like everything is fine. i just want to make sure that you’re okay.” you took a deep breath in, knowing this was coming, knowing you had to confront your feelings upfront now and not just push whatever you were feeling down, hoping it didnt blow over one day.

“if im being honest sokka, i like you, still, but i want us to be friends. im happy to see that suki makes you happy, but it might take some time for me to get over you so we might not ever be as close as before for my own sake but im willing to try my hardest to fix anything i mightve broken in the last couple of weeks. because i love having you as a friend and no matter how much it wouldve hurt to be with you before, i still missed my best friend.” you slowly lifted your head up, pouring out what was your mind without any filter, letting him know where you stood, sincerity written on your features as you wiated to see sokka’s reaction.

“that sounds good, whatever works for you. just happy i dont have to lose my oldest friend” he finally answered after silence settled between the two of you, letting your words settle and let him process your new confession.

you smiled back and then the two of you turned your attention back to the noodles, the two of you practically inhaling the food as the only sound was the muching of the seaweed and the slurping of the soup. a nice moment shared between two friends.

“you know, theres still girl that i just know you’d like.” sokka was the first to speak up, a small tease in his tone as he tried to set you up right after you told him you were trying to move on from him.

“sokka.” you threatened, not wanting him to go down whatever road he was about go down to, you finding it to be the wrong moment to bring this up.

“i’m just saying i have yue’s number if you want it!” he recoiled on his claim, but made sure to name drop the girl he supposedly thought was perfect for you. blood rushed to your cheeks at the mention of his ex girlfriend from middle school, rmebering how beautiful you thought the white haired girl was and how you had a small crush on her while they were dating.

the boy in front of you simply laughed, feeling content at where he now stood with his friend since kindergarten. he was your dream boy, but maybe not in the way you first thought. he was the boy of your dreams but not all dreams need to be romantic.

general taglist: @draqondance @biqherosix @sunnypluto @butterfly-skinnylegend @staygoldsquatchling02 @yuesallura

atla taglist: @welovediaaxx @ilovespideyyy @missmorosis

sokka taglist: @firelady-jay

#atla x reader #sokka x reader #avatar the last airbender imagine #avatar the last airbender x reader #zuko x reader #atla sokka x reader #sokka #atla sokka imagine #sokka imagine #sokka x you #atla zuko x reader #gaang x reader #prince zuko #zuko

[kagender]

📌💎💕

[📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?]

📌 - i originally found out about keroro gunso back in july of 2020! i havent heard anyone even mention it before that, but then my american friend started talking abt it 2 me because they watched it when they were younger! and im pretty sure that they tried to make me watch it?

keroro wasnt really even a thing in my country - no dub, no translations, nothing. in fact even fans of it were and still are quite a rare find here, i only found one person from my country who was quite active in the fandom almost a decade ago, they even uploaded some of the OST to youtube! and the rest were just some people who reviewed the show on filmweb ... one of them seemed to have watched and liked the shurara corps arc though, which is nice :]

i didnt actually attempt to watch it until like a month or two later, and i originally watched episode 2 instead of well, the first episode. i very much remember not knowing any of the human characters names so i would refer to them as "black haired boy and pink haired girl" for fuyuki and natsumi, and "straight girl" for momoka (which is very wrong) i also didnt watch the series for some time after that, until i picked it up again and the brainworms got me🐛

💎 - iiiiii dont think that i have any fun facts to share? nothings really coming to my mind right now haha

💕 - oh i do have..... a bunch. most of them are minor characters, as they usually arent as fleshed out as the main ones so i can make shit up about them with ease ^_^

first up is sato, who appeared in episode 134 of the anime, aka the one about akihabara! i feel in love with this furry man the moment i saw him, and i really like the relationship that he has with kururu..... they. r. friends!!!! they used to hoard (assumably computer) parts together at some point!!

he didnt appear in any episode besides 134 afaik, in fact he didnt even get a single damn cameo! (I THINK..... i hope im wrong) which sucks to me, the number one sato fan ...

i liked him so much that i even gave him a role in my au, although its nothing super major! hes just a guy who showed up at some point in kururus past

then we have cheuton, with whom i also instantly fell in love! his design is super cool, and he made me fall in love with the ronier species as a whole, to the point where i have some ronier ocs! (would they still count as orikeros?)

he first appeared in episode 132, which is weirdly close to satos ep, and he got a cameo or two in one of the other episodes AND an opening (i think that it was the viva viva one? which sucks because its one of my least favourites LOL)

he was sent to pekopon by a higher up (i assume) simply named bob along with his class/teammates to fight the keroro platoon, and he was assigned to have a duel with dororo, which scared him shitless because he heard so many great (and fearsome i guess) things about him, but he ended up doing better than his teammates (who got their ass kicked. i mean he kinda did too, but at least he did not break any of his damn bones, unlike some of them!)

OH SHIT OH SHIT WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT HE ALSO APPEARED IN THE MANGA!!!!! WHICH IS FUCKING AWESOME IF YOU ASK ME ..... it was pretty much the same as the anime episode, except his teammates didnt appear in the manga methinks..... and it was soooo cool seing him in the mangas style because i very much prefer it to the animes art!!!

i also did some development for roniers themselves, as a species, such as changing up some elements of their designs! aaand i owe it all to this little man ...

anyways that was long .... yeah i fuckin love cheuton he is my favourite guy

THEN OF COURSE.... WE HAVE THE DAMN CORPS!!!! i would put them first in this thing if it wasnt so damn obvious that they are my favourite-est, and i also wanted to shine some light on some fairly obscure, non-keronian characters first!

while i obviously like some of them better than the others (also see kagege and shurara) i very much love them all ..... i could make a whole essay on each individual member if i didnt want for this post to be too long!

they originally debuted in the B part of episode 159, with several episodes spanning the entirety of season 4 following! we didnt really get to see them in action until episode 161 though, which was entirely dedicated to putata n mekeke ..... and ya u know the rest!!!!!!

while i definitely love all the characters from this arc, i wasnt a big fan of the storyline .... i found the finale especially kinda dumb and underwhelming, which sucks because well, its the finale! its ought to be good! so like several fans before me i tried to change it up a little in my au ...... fix it even!!!!

and yeah i wont ramble on ..... i think that everyone who follows me on there is aware of how this account is certainly just a shurara corps fanblog. much love

i also love a lot of other characters ..... kururu .... tamama .... pururu ..... zoruru ..... rinono n shupepe .... lots of keroland frogs ..... but i do . not. want to ramble too much!!!!! so bye

#keroroposting

[samhaininthemembrane]

🎃Welcome!🖤

This is my side blog where I can talk and vent about my disability and neurodivergence, as well as reblog things related to those topics. I will state that I am not an authority on anything discussed here beyond my own lived experience. Please take anything I say with a reasonable grain of salt and remember that I am not a professional.

About Me

My name is Madi/Mati (pronounced Mad-ie/Matt-ie,which in my version of english sounds roughly the same), but you can call me Samhain (pronounced Sau-ihn) or other derivatives of my username if you prefer.

I am 28 years old. If you dont want to interact based on age, keep that in mind!

My pronouns are She/They/He. Feel free to mix them up from time to time!

I am nonbinary with femme leanings because gender is complicated and that's what I've decided is the most accurate description of my lived experience. I mention this specifically because it affects how I live with my disability. I will accept good natured questions about it.

I am queer, and I will say the word queer in reference to myself or the community. I have several different orientations and sometimes it's just too complicated to get into all of them.

I am inclusive and intersectional, as I understand that everything affects everything else in different ways and that a persons life experience can't be compartmentalized like that.

I am a vocal proponent of science based medicine, therapy, and medication as well as a proponent of informal or self diagnosis. I understand that care isnt accessible to everyone and that it's more nuanced than that. Everyone deserves respect and dignity regardless of whether or not they can or want to seek treatment for themselves.

I struggle a lot with memory problems, so it is not uncommon for me to reblog things I've reblogged before, repeat points I've already made, forget to include important tags or image descriptions, and forget to respond to messages for long stretches of time. I appreciate your patience in this regard and do not mind gentle and well intentioned reminders!

My ask box is generally open, and anons are fine! It might take me a bit to answer, but I will do my best to do so! I promise I'm not ignoring you!

What I Have?

First off, I will say that no one is entitled to this information, and I am choosing to make it known because I want to. No one is ever entitled to info you deem private and the idea that you have to prove you're "___ enough" to strangers is, frankly, fucked up. I'm okay with being open about it because I'm an adult and incredibly open about it in my daily life, but you dont have to be.

I'll put this below a read more as to not conjest things too much. 🖤

Known disabilities/neurodivergences:

ADHD (Inattentive Type) - Got diagnosed as a kid but I didnt know it. Didn't get treatment until I was an adult. I have been getting treatment for this, and my mental health toolkit is pretty established. It is still definitely something I struggle with that hinders a lot of aspects of my life, but therapy and meds changed my life.

Spinal Injury - Happened when I was 20 for no reason. Have had surgery that helped with most of it, but still experience effects of it. (Herniation between L4-L5 if you're curious)

Chronic Vestibular Migraines - Started in July of last year, very frequent. Currently seeking treatment for it, but since it's not a super well understood type of migraine, it's hard to treat.

Generalized Anxiety, Depression, and S.A.D. - I lump these all together because they kind of go together. Also I've never known another disabled person who didnt have some variety of this (although most disabled people I know became disabled later in their lives.)

Geographic Tongue and Various Allergies - I have to careful to not make my tongue flare up beyond what is tolerable when I eat, and there is not a time of year when I don't have to take allergy meds. My allergies have never put me in the hospital, but I do get hives, restricted breathing, etc. (Yes, I am aware that Geographic Tongue is an outdated diagnosis, but its easier than explaining the nuance of it).

Dental Issues - I don't know about a specific diagnosis but my teeth are for sure bad.

Mild Scoliosis - Enough that it affects me, not enough to get treatment about it.

General chronic pain and fatigue

Suspected disabilties/neurodivergences (i.e. not formally diagnosed):

Autism - My therapist and I have been talking about it and I'm currently deciding if I want to seek out a formal diagnosis or not, seeing as it's known to be a difficult process. This would be in addition to the ADHD.

Auditory Processing Disorder - it's a pretty common comorbidity with ADHD and I'm pretty sure I have it.

Dyscalcula - never formally diagnosed, but suspicion is there.

Something more than just a migraine disorder, since I have a lot of various issues and the meds I get prescribed for migranes dont work well and have horrible side effects.

Some sort of autoimmune disorder, since I get sick incredibly easily (about one big sickness a season) and it wipes me out every time. I also get skin infections incredibly easily and that's gotta be a thing, right?

#about me #pinned post #disability #invisible disability #cripplepunk #disabled #cpunk #invisible illness #intro #intro post #queer #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #adhd #adhd inattentive #neurodivergency #long post #mati speaks #vestibular migraine

[thechangeling]

Be wise enough to wonder. Be brave and let it go.

Mark had no idea what time it was when he was woken up by the sound of his daughter crying. He heard an exhausted groan beside him as Cristina moved to pull herself up. Mark put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"No it's alright," he whispered, his voice hoarse from sleep. "I'll go."

Two months ago Cristina had given birth to their first daughter. Her name was Gianna She was the biological product of Kieran and Cristina with her pointy ears and blue hair that changed with her moods, and Tina's chestnut coloured eyes and copper skin. But the trio fully considered her to be theirs. Blood was unimportant.

Mark was half asleep as he stumbled his way down to the room they had set up Gianna's crib in. He missed Kieran and he knew Cristina did as well. Kier was currently stuck in Faerie with his royal responsibilities. Cristina and Mark were visiting the LA institute to help with a recent uptake in demon activity around the area. It was amazing to see his siblings again (minus Ty, he was in Devon visiting Kit since the two of them were now dating long distance.) However he knew it was strange for Gigi to be sleeping in an unfamiliar environment.

Hence lots of crying.

Mark heard his daughter's crying getting softer as he came to the doorway. He could also hear another voice, cooing to her, calming her down. As he got closer he could see it was Helen. Mark smiled at the sight of his big sister gently rocking his daughter in her arms.

"Thank you" he whispered, trying not to startle her or wake Gianna. Helen was wearing her sleep clothes, with her hair tied back. There were also very prominent dark circles under her eyes.

"You should get some rest" Mark said as forcefully as he could without raising his voice. "Seriously you look exhausted Len, hand her over and he back to bed." Helen just gave him a stern look. The one that she used to use when he was trying to sneak extra cookies as a kid, or the first time she caught him trying to come home past curfew after being out at a downworlder party that he was way too young for.

The funny thing was that even though Helen had started calling Eleanor "mom" around the age of 8, Mark had never been able to do it. It had absolutely nothing to do with an attachment to his birth mother. He barely remembered her. Maybe it was because he had always had someone looking out for him since day one, and that person wasn't Nerissa or Eleanor.

And it certainly wasn't his father.

I think you're punishing yourself, is what Helen had told him one night. You're punishing yourself for being different, so you won't let yourself get attached.

Helen placed Gigi back in her crib and put her hands on Mark's shoulders. "Sweetheart you are more exhausted then I am" she reprimanded him gently. "You and Cristina both need help and I'm more than happy to do it." Mark put his hand over hers, gripping onto Helen to avoid passing out.

"She has Kieran too remember?" He insisted firmly. "Just because he isn't here right now doesn't mean that he's not her dad too." Helen's eyes widened.

"Oh no! No that wasn't what I was saying at all." She said frantically. Her voice was starting to slur a little like she was drunk. She really needed to go to sleep. "I was just trying to be useful you know? Like I always used to when we were younger."

Mark knew what she was referring to. When the twins were born, in order to help out Eleanor and their dad, Mark and Helen starting taking care of them so their parents could get more sleep. Julian was still very young, only two, so it was up to them as the older siblings to step up.

Livvy was a relatively easy baby. She cried when she was hungry or needed changing, and then she was fine. She was pretty good at sleeping through most of the night as well. Ty on the other hand was not. When he was drinking formula from the bottle he would only ever take a little and then refuse to eat any more. This lead to him always being hungry half an hour later and as a result, not sleeping for very long.

The family would take shifts when looking after the twins to avoid being too exhausted. But there were some nights where Ty would just refuse to sleep and nobody knew why. Eleanor wanted to go to the silent brothers, but thankfully Helen had talked her out of it.

He's just different, she had said. It's fine, we will figure it out.

At a certain point Andrew had just refused to try, and Helen and Mark had to step in. Unfortunately these were bad habits of Ty's that seemed to have carried over into adulthood. But at least now he could get up and feed himself at 2 in the morning.

Mark shook himself out of his stupor. "No it's ok. I'm sorry. I just worry about you Len" he murmured. Helen shot him a tired smile. "And I you, brother" she replied, slipping into a very fae way of speaking. Mark turned to look at his little girl, who was still sleeping. Thank the angel.

Thank the gods, his brain supplied.

It was interesting thinking about the way she would grow up. It would be so different from Mark and Helen. Gianna had access to Unseelie culture through Kieran, as well as the privilege of being raised by a full blooded faerie. She was already being read fae stories (accurate ones) and sung fae lullabies. She would be taught fae languages by Kieran and Cristina mostly, because as Kieran loved to point out, he was terrible with languages. She would also be taught Spanish and English when she was older.

She would be raised as a shadowhunter and as a faerie in a better, more understanding world that he was trying to help build. Mark couldn't help but be a little envious of her.

He turned back to Helen who hadn't left, but had sat down on the floor, bracing her back against the wall. He sat down beside her.

"Hey" he whispered roughly. "Do you ever feel like we were robbed?"

Helen looked up at him slightly dazed. Her Blackthorn blue-green eyes were starting to glaze over. "Huh?" She muttered sleepily. Helen rubbed her eyes and cleared her throat, trying again. "What do you mean exactly?"

Mark sighed as he slowly felt all of the thoughts and feelings he usually tried to keep buried. He really didn't want to deal with them. Because if he delt with them then he would have to acknowledge what happened, and acknowledging it made it real.

Something that Magnus always said was that you had to go through the pain and not around it, because going through it was the only way to get over it.

Mark took a deep breath and looked Helen in the eye. "I mean think about it. From the moment we arrived at this institute, our father always talked about how evil and wicked and manipulative our mother was. And yes, I would argue from the sound of things he was probably right, but I was four years old and she was the only faerie I had ever known. So it seemed as if everyone around was establishing a baseline of, Faeries. Wicked. Manipulative. Cannot be trusted.

Helen shook her head "but that's not-" Mark interrupted her. "I'm sorry but I'm not done." Helen sighed and looked to be fighting the urge to roll her eyes, but she didn't protest. "Ok fine. Go."

Mark continued. "And the thing is we were bombarded with that information all our lives. From our instructors, from our father, from our peers. So eventually I think you and I started to believe it Len! I think we started to think of ourselves as evil, and in order to not be evil we had to distance ourselves from being fae as much as possible." Mark's voice was beginning to shake.

Helen shook her head. "No I don't think it was that so much as we were trying to prove that we were real shadowhunters. Me personally, I didnt want to be considered a downworlder because I'm not, I'm a shadowhunter. " Helen explained, but her voice sounded unsure. "I didnt want to be treated differently."

Mark chuckled humorously. "But don't you see? We are different! That is precisely my point, and everyone made us feel ashamed of that. Remember how you used to braid your hair like a faerie until girls started making fun of you and trying to pull it out? And then you started wearing your hair to cover your ears. Did you honestly expect me to believe that you preferred the style, sister?" Mark was trying to keep his voice lowered but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Helen was silent. There was a pause where neither sibling spoke and then Helen's defeated voice. "I don't want to talk about this Mark." He felt a pang of guilt.

"I know. Forgive me please, it was not my intention to upset you." He spoke elegantly. Helen laughed softly. "You know it's weird how much it comforts me, hearing you talk like that" she said.

Mark smiled sadly at her. "But that's exactly my point Helen. I mean think about it? How much did we give up or refuse to pursue just because we were scared? You know I've been reading far stories to Gianna and some of them are actually really incredible. There are stories about brave female warriors who go on adventures to save beautiful princesses and stories of people who couldn't decide which one if their suitors they liked best, so they just chose them all. They are stories about people like us, written for people like us." Mark could feel himself beginning to cry .

Helen reached over silently and placed her hand on his to comfort him. She looked like she was holding back tears as well.

"Imagine" Mark whispered brokenly, tears running down his cheeks. "Imagine what it would have been like if we read stories like those when we were younger.

Helen closed her eyes, trying to block out tears. "We were trying to keep ourselves safe" she whispered. "It was self preservation."

"It was assimilation" Mark said firmly. "And that really wasn't fair." Helen let out a harsh breath.

"And it didn't even do any good," Mark continued. "They still kicked us out."

Helen laughed in spite of the situation. Then let they weight of the conversation wash over them both, soaking them in despair and self pity.

Helen finally broke the silence.

"You know, she began, Magnus Bane loves to share stories about past shadowhunters in a more accurate way because the Clave's records are usually very white and straight washed, and when Aline and I mentioned potentially adopting a child from abroad, he told us a story about this one shadowhunter Ariadne Bridgestock. Apparently she was a lesbian and in a relationship with Anna Lightwood but she was also originally from India. Her parents adopted her and brought her back to England."

Mark shrugged "So? There's nothing inherently wrong with that." Helen gave him another look.

"Well yeah, but the problem was they didn't let her retain anything from her culture and they didn't give her the opportunity to branch out and learn more. They stripped her of all of that and basically taught her to behave like the typical white British girl." Helen readjusted her position, straightening out her back. "He wanted to make sure that if we ended up with a child who had a different cultural background, we would understand the importance of nurturing that connection" she explained.

Mark nodded "Well yes, but Aline would never do anything like that given how important her culture is to her." Helen was silent for a moment.

"Yeah I know. It's just that I'm not exactly the poster girl for self love and acceptance now am I? She said I'm a self pitying tone.

Mark shook his head. "It's not really the same thing though Len" he reasoned.

"No I know that, but it's similar" she mumbled, tiredness seeping into her tone. "Anyways, that's why I'm so happy Gigi has you and Kieran." Helen finally stood up "Especially you. When she feels like her mom is too much of a shadowhunter to get it, and her dad is too much of a faerie to get it, she has her papa to understand her." Helen said wistfully with a smile.

She extended her hand to Mark and pulled him to his feet. They both stared at Gianna who was moving around slightly in her sleep. "Yeah she will be fine" Helen mused softly. "She's got Cristina to teach her spanish and Kieran to teach her faerie. You can tell her stories about the wild hunt and Cristina can tell her stories about living in Mexico." Helen paused, her expression looking a little sad. "Her life is going to be so different from ours."

Mark felt another pang in his chest as well as the boiling of anger beneath his skin.

"How do we get past this?" He whispered. "How do we deal with this Helen? This anger?"

Helen was silent for a moment. Mark turned to face her and noticed she was shaking slightly. Helen gulped and looked up at him.

"We can't feel sorry for ourselves. That gets us nowhere. We need to confront it and then we need to find away to move past it," she said determinedly. "We need to be brave enough to let it go. We can't change the past but what we can do is try and change the way we approach this now. I know it's hard but we can do it." Helen smiled at him "As long as we have each others backs we can get through this."

Mark nodded. "I know. You're right. I want to keep moving forward. I want to learn more, discover more. I want to figure out who I really am." Mark spoke steadily. "The things that happened when we were younger were horrible," he felt his voice breaking again. "It's painful, but we can't just stay on our knees. We have to move on or it'll consume us."

Mark took Helen into his arms and hugged her tightly. She sniffled lightly, wrapping her arms around him. Mark let out a sigh.

"It's ok," he whispered. "I've got you, you're not alone."

You are not the only.

Be wise enough to wonder, be brave and let it go.

Nothing is everlasting.

Have mercy on my soul.

#tda #the dark artifices #tsc #helen blackthorn #mark blackthorn #kierarktina children #kierarktina #kaitlin'swriting

[vivithefolle]

Ron’s greatest acts of bravery

An itty-bitty butthurty Harmony shipper reported this answer of mine and got it deleted by the Quora moderation. Naturally, I have contested this decision, but my appeal has been unanswered as of now. So here’s what we’re going to do, folks: I’m gonna repost this answer of mine here, where no angwy widdle Hawmony shipper can censor it. And y’all are going to spam the reblog button until people can’t go in the Harry Potter tag without finding this answer reblogged at least five times over. Good? Good.

(this is totally a demarcation line I don’t know what you’re talking about)

What was Ron Weasley's greatest act of bravery in any of the Harry Potter movies or books?

We of course have the mythical “I’ll be a knight” but that’s so easy. Ron would die for his loved ones any day of any week, because that’s how stupidly selfless and self-effacing he is.

There is the equally mythical “If you want to kill Harry, you’ll have to kill us too!” which reeks of badassery and awesomeness, but it has also been quoted before, and to be fair that wasn’t one of Ron’s greatest acts of bravery. Oh, yes, it is incredibly brave, but Ron has plenty more of those to give.

One that is often forgotten is “He beat you!”, spoken to Voldemort in the flesh, which also highlights just how far Ron has come from the beginning of the series - because unlike what the haters want you to believe, Ronald Weasley has an actual character arc. An arc that keeps getting reseted and postponed in-between books because his author is too busy trying to make her Mary Sue look better instead, but he has one, and it’s so perfectly illustrated by this:

"... and until Hagrid told me, I didn't know anything about be ing a wizard or about my parents or Voldemort" Ron gasped. "What?" said Harry. "You said You-Know-Who's name!" said Ron, sounding both shocked and impressed. "I'd have thought you, of all people --" - Philosopher’s Stone

—-

"Malfoy's dad must have told him," said Harry, ignoring Ron. "He was right in Voldemort's inner circle --" "Say You-Know-Who, will you?" interjected Ron angrily. - Prisoner of Azkaban

—-

“My scar hurts, and three days later the Death Eaters are on the march, and Voldemort's sign's up in the sky again." "Don't - say - his - name!" Ron hissed through gritted teeth. "And remember what Professor Trelawney said?" Harry went on, ignoring Ron. - Goblet Of Fire

—-

"You see?" said Voldemort, and Harry felt him striding backward and forward right beside the place where he lay. "Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!" "He beat you!" yelled Ron, and the charm broke, and the defenders of Hogwarts were shouting and screaming again until a second, more powerful bang extinguished their voices once more.

From the boy who flinched at Voldemort’s name, to the man who was the first to sass back to Voldemort when the latter dissed his best mate. To say nothing of the fact that this was the first time Ron ever saw Voldemort in the flesh. Ron had never seen Voldemort before, yet the second Voldemort says something about Harry, Ron is up in arms and ready to kill the Dark Lord with his bare hands.

We could go with the tested-and-true “follow the spiders”. Unlike in the movies where Harry immediately sees a trail of spiders and Ron follows moaning and bumbling all the while, in the books Harry and Ron are comfortably in the castle when they decide to follow. Ron has the time to psych himself up, to terrify himself into imagining the spiders, and was given the time to backtrack a million times over. But he didn’t. This one Tumblr post has said it all.

Yes, “Follow the spiders” is probably one of Ron’s bravest moments, but…

But, but, but.

There’s more.

Sure, I absolutely adore Ron and can’t choose between all those awesome moments he has to his name, because they’re all so wonderful. From the ones that highlight just how much he’s grown and developed in spite of his own author treating him like an afterthought; from the ones that showcase just how good a kid he is, how much he loves and fights for his friends; all those moments that show that no, Ron Weasley isn’t a fair-weather friend and anyone who calls him that needs a high-five in the face with a block of concrete…

Out of those moments, out of them all, I have to pick something that is too often forgotten, too often glossed over, even by those of us who love Ron.

I’m talking, naturally, of his return.

Harry had no strength to lift his head and see his savior’s identity. All he could do was raise a shaking hand to his throat and feel the place where the locket had cut tightly into his flesh. It was gone. Someone had cut him free. Then a panting voice spoke from over his head, “Are—you—mental?”

Whether you think that Ron “abandoned” Harry and Hermione, whether you think that Ron is a traitor or a man with the patience of a saint who put up with Harry and Hermione’s bullshit for too long. Whether you think the three times Harry told him to leave were a factor or whether you place the blame solely on Ron’s shoulders.

Ron comes back to save Harry’s life.

But not only that.

“No!” said Ron. “No, don’t open it! I’m serious!” “Why not?” asked Harry. “Let’s get rid of the damn thing, it’s been months—” “Because that thing’s bad for me!” said Ron, backing away from the locket on the rock. “I can’t handle it! I’m not making excuses, Harry, for what I was like, but it affects me worse than it affected you and Hermione, it made me think stuff — stuff I was thinking anyway, but it made everything worse. I can’t explain it, and then I’d take it off and I’d get my head on straight again, and then I’d have to put the effing thing back on—I can’t do it, Harry!” He had bakced away, the sword dragging at his side, shaking his head.

Ron came back, even though he knew it would mean being with the thing that had tortured him all this time.

The thing that latched onto all of Ron’s weak spots, cultivated them, weaponized them, used them to push Ron closer and closer to the edge, until he couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. (Funny how some will act as though Hermione’s birds were her “snapping”, but when Ron is holding Voldemort’s soul in his hands and going insane under their very eyes they just say “hurr durr teh locket didnt do nuthin”…)

And with this thing preying on him, tormenting him, Ron did what any rational, sane human being would have done when their abuser forgets to lock the door.

He opened it and ran.

But, but, but, and that’s where the bravery comes in.

He came back.

He knew there was this thing that preyed upon him relentlessly, a thing that managed to make him believe his best friends didn’t want nor cared about him, that his entire existence amounted to nothing, that he was just a waste of space nobody wanted around.

“Why return? We were better without you, happier without you, glad of your absence... We laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice, your presumption —”

“You mother confessed,” sneered Riddle-Harry, while Riddle-Hermione jeered, “that she would have preferred me as a son, would be glad to exchange...” “Who wouldn’t prefer him, what woman would take you, you are nothing, nothing, nothing to him,” crooned Riddle-Hermione

Ron fled from this sort of abuse, from this sort of torture, then he decided to come back for more.

Because even though he believed his friends didn’t need him, even though he thought his friends were better off without him, he still wanted to make himself useful. He still wanted to help.

And once he’d saved Harry, he was back to facing the entity that has been torturing him, and that entity proceeded to show off Ron’s deepest, most shameful secrets… to his best mate.

Ron’s entire self-esteem is tied to the way his loved ones perceive him:

“You did brilliantly, Ron!” This time it really was Hermione running toward them from the stands; Harry saw Lavender walking off the pitch, arm in arm with Parvati, a rather grumpy expression on her face. Ron looked extremely pleased with himself and even taller than usual as he grinned at the team and at Hermione.

The image the Mirror of Erised showed Ron was one of glory and fame… or was it?

"No -- I'm alone -- but I'm different -- I look older -- and I'm head boy!" "What?" "I am -- I'm wearing the badge like Bill used to -- and I'm holding the house cup and the Quidditch cup -- I'm Quidditch captain, too."

Being Head Boy and Quidditch captain. He could have seen himself being crowned World’s Best Emperor if he wanted, with legions of fans throwing himself at him, but that doesn’t happen.

Instead he sees himself being like Bill. Like his cool older brother. And Quidditch captain, like his other cool older brother Charlie.

What Ron wants… is to make his loved ones proud.

Ron defines himself by the way his loved ones look at him.

When Malfoy calls him an idiot he scoffs because it’s Malfoy. When Hermione calls him an idiot, though…? Ouch.

And now all of Ron’s secrets, all his feelings of inadequacy and inferiority that he has tried to keep quiet throughout the series out of respect for Harry, his deepest fears… They’re all there for Harry to see, for Harry to judge, for Harry to feel disgusted by. Because how dare Ron Weasley have problems, how dare Ron Weasley be envious of Harry Potter, whose life is nothing but suffering?

Ron’s greatest act of bravery, to me, was coming back, even though for all he knew Harry and Hermione had hooked up while he was gone (they’d never, of course, but how could he know?), even though he knew it would mean being up for Round #2 of his private torture sessions with Voldemort, even though he believed he wouldn’t be welcome…

He still came back. Because it was the right thing to do.

Anyone who’s gonna tell me that Ronald Weasley isn’t loyal to the core can suck on a cactus.

#vivi's post #harry potter #ron weasley #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #hermione granger #hp books #harry potter books #Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows #deathly hallows #voldemort #lord voldemort #horcruxes #horcrux hunt #gryffindor #mirror of erised #quora #quarrels on quora #i have so many feelings #funny how harmoanians say romione shippers are insecure about their ship #then censor any pro-ron answer they come across #who's insecure now? #let's break the reblog button you guys

[plctitude]

* daniel sharman, cis man + he/him  | you know tobin 't.c.' childs, right? they’re 30, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eleven years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the art of getting by by laura zocca like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole scuffed shoes and messy bedhead, faded denim jacket, nervous twisting of a wedding ring on his ring finger thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 3rd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

( CW : cancer & death ) .

hello ! im gel and this is my little runt t.c. ! lmk if you wanna plot something

full name : tobin childs . preferred name / nickname : t.c. age : thirty . birthday : june 3rd . sexual orientation : straight . relationship status : widowed , single . occupation : pediatrician . residence : port apartments .

history ––

t.c. was born in hackney , london . he’s gone by t.c. ever since he can remember and rarely ever allows people to call him tobin ( even his family ) .

his parents went through a horrible divorce when he was 13 , at which point he moved to the usa with his mother to live with his grandparents . his father stayed in england with his then-girlfriend , now his wife and t.c.’s stepmother .

he and his mother ended up in wrightsville beach, a small town near wilmington, nc.

essentially based off of landon from a walk to remember : an absolute troublemaker as a teenager . completely aimless and just uncaring caring about his future . his senior year , he and his friends ended up getting a boy’s leg broken after a prank went wrong . instead of being expelled , t.c. was only made to do a multitude of service/community projects . and that’s how he becomes close to avery , when they’re paired up in the school play . his friends had always disliked her , because that’s how the status quo was – he was in the popular crowd and she was the daughter of the local minister .

cancer cw // they grew closer , and after getting past some petty high school drama , they began to date . it’s not until several dates later that avery tells t.c. that she has leukemia , and she’s not making any plans for the future . and t.c. goes to his estranged father , a doctor , to beg him to help avery , but despite their best efforts , there’s nothing that can be done .

cancer cw // avery’s condition worsens , and she ends up in the hospital . she decides to forgo further treatment , wanting to be able to enjoy the time she has left . on the night of their graduation, t.c. asks avery to marry him , and she accepts . they get married a week later with their closest friends and family , avery’s father officiating .

death cw // they spent the summer as a married couple , and avery passed away that fall. and as a result, t.c. became a very young widow .

t.c. tried his best to heal and move on , working odd jobs and making plans to go to college then medical school , but being in a town full of memories was just too painful so he decided to leave .

he moved to irving , nc where his aunt ( his mother’s sister ) and her family lives . ( this was about 11 years ago )

he worked as a waiter for about a year while taking online classes at the local college , before he transferred to unc chapel hill . he graduated in three years and then went to attend medical school at wake forest .

originally , he planned to work in oncology but instead of it being a helpful part of his healing process like it can be for some , it actually just forced him to remember a lot of things about avery and it hurt too much . so he chose to become a pediatrician instead , since he loved working with kids and he was pretty good at comforting the parents when he needed to .

now ––

t.c. definitely considers irving his home now , but he still does his best to visit his mom and her boyfriend in wrightsville beach . he also visits avery’s father every now and again just to catch up and to make sure he’s doing alright . there are four times a year he will always visit though – avery’s birthday , his birthday , his and avery’s wedding anniversary , and the anniversary of avery’s death .

he works as a pediatrician which surprisingly isn’t as stressful of a job as he thought it would be . he absolutely loves working with kids and he’s very committed to his job .

becoming a widow at such a young age really put a lot of things in perspective for him so he’s a lot less indecisive and apathetic as he used to be .

that being said , he stills finds it hard to get up in the morning sometimes . he’ll wake up about 15 minutes before his shift starts , not because he overslept , but because he laid in bed staring at the ceiling for thirty minutes .

he still has an english accent but it’s not as obvious as it used to be when he first moved to the us . it’s definitely still there but there are slang words that he doesn’t really say with an accent , or with just a very faint one .

personality ––

the grief he experienced from losing avery was something that was incredibly hard for him to work through , but a lot of what he does now, he does to make her proud . she still serves as motivation for him to get up and go do things , because he knows that she wouldn’t want him just sitting around .

he’s an all-around good guy , though a little quiet at times . he sometimes tends to fall a bit too deep into his thoughts , but overall , he’s charming and really sweet .

he loves being around people , but on a bad day , it can be very draining for him .

when he gets anxious , he fiddles with the ring on his hand , which he hasn’t taken off and doesn’t ever plan to. with how often people ask about the ring , he’s grown more used to telling the story of him and avery but most people notice the way he still gets a little choked up every time .

hobbies include : writing , volunteering , cooking ( not baking ) .

wcs ––

ride-or-die best friend - they’ve been friends since t.c. blew into town and they’ve been inseparable since

exes - these probably didnt last long bc he genuinely feels like he’s used up his one ‘true / epic love’ on avery ; could’ve ended well or badly 

neighbor(s) - would love like a cute little apartment group that gets together and has dinner parties and regular parties and movie nights , game nights ,etc.

someone he volunteers with - they could be friends who just decided to volunteer somewhere together or they could’ve met when they were both volunteering at the same place

childhood friends / enemies ? either from london or from wrightsville . it would be cool to have someone who knew him before avery .

former coworkers – from back when he was a waiter

college classmates – at unc chapel hill 

current coworkers – other doctors , medical professionals , etc.

friends of his aunt , friends of his aunt’s family

friends , in general !

literally anything ! i’m super super down for anything so lmk if you wanna plot 

#irvingintro #cancer cw #death cw #this is #a lot #sorry #( HEADCANON // t.c. childs . )

[dmitri-writes]

Voice~Intrulogical

INFO -trans guy logan -side royality -familial analogical -based on a prompt i saw somewhere

TRIGGER WARNINGS -

***

Remus opens his laptop and checks a group chat for his friends, adequately named 'No Braincells Here'. He grins, seeing green dots next to all four of his friends and his brother; PappyPatton, AnxietyAttack, JekyllHyde, SpaceJam, and PositivelyPrincely. He turns on his mic, excited to wreak havoc as always and annoy his brother.

JeffreyDahmer: "What's up bitches one, two, three, four, and five."

The chat is filled with four voices; Roman groans, Virgil laughs, Patton says to watch his language, and Deceit says "Goodbye" and leaves, logging right back on. Remus also reads the texts sent by the only one never on voice chat, SpaceJam.

SpaceJam: Hello, Remus. I was starting to wonder where you were.

Remus smile grows, pleasantly surprised someone actually expects and wants him to be there. "Thanks, Space," He says through voice chat.

PappyPatton: "Now that Remus is here, we can talk about The Thing (TM)." PositivelyPrincely: "What is it this time Padre? Are you in need of spider killing? I'll run to your house now." PappyPatton: "No, Roman, It's- and he's gone..."

Remus hears his brother in the other room rummaging around for his sword. He doesn't stop him as he races out the door.

PappyPatton: "Remus, did he leave?" JeffreyDahmer: "Yeah." AnxietyAttack: "At least he's not knocking down my door this time." SpaceJam: Should we wait until he's back? PappyPatton: "I hear him knocking on my door... Be right back." SpaceJam: Does this happen often? Virgil, you didn't tell me you moved close to Roman and Remus.

Remus smiles, heart a little fluttery Space didn't just say Roman. It feels great to not be forgotten for once. Space always remembered him. Always.

AnxietyAttack: "Yeah, Patton is scared of spiders and since I own a few, Roman sometimes thinks they're mine and makes me check that they're all there and not fakes they replaced themselves with."

Remus' smile turns into a mischevious grin, knowing he caused the scene. He told Roman about Virgil's spiders, which he knew about since kindergarten. He also sometimes loosens their cages or catches wild spiders to put on Patton's lawn.

SpaceJam: Seems... Interesting. PappyPatton: "Okay Roman's next to me so I'm just gonna talk about it with him here, sorry for stealing your brother Remus." JeffreyDahmer: "Keep him." JekyllHyde: "I can't wait to hear what Patton has to say." PappyPatton: "What I was saying is... I got a boyfriend!" AnxietyAttack: "It's Roman, isn't it?" PappyPatton: "Yeah it's Roman." SpaceJam: Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us, Patton. SpaceJam: If it is alright, I would like to follow that up with my own announcement.

Remus' interest is piqued. Is Space going to announce their name? Gender? Sexuality? Romantic life? He's bouncing in his chair with excitement.

PappyPatton: "Go ahead Space!" SpaceJam: I am moving in with Virgil, now that his parents have formally adopted me. JekyllHyde: "ADOPTED?" JeffreyDahmer: "MOVING?" SpaceJam: Perhaps I should tell you more... PappyPatton: PLEASE -Roman

That was... NOT what Remus was expecting... but he's still excited! Space! Moving! Here! Okay, Remus needs to calm down before he falls out of his chair again.

SpaceJam: My name is Logan. I am a trans male and my parents were not too happy about it. While Virgil lived near me, he became worried about me. Once he knew of my situation, he told his parents, who have been fighting to adopt me. It has been finalized today, and I am currently packing.

Remus' head spins with the new information as he also hears Roman enter the house again. His bedroom door opens and Roman peeks his head in. "Good, you're still alive. You should take a shower since Space- er, Logan, is moving here." Remus absent-mindedly throws a pencil at his brother who dodges it and laughs.

JekyllHyde: "How are you getting here?" SpaceJam: I will be taking a plane. I'm very excited, planes are fascinating and I have wished to be on one. I do prefer spaceships though. PappyPatton: "Uh, Logan, I'd hate to push it so ignore me if you aren't comfortable with it but... could we hear your voice?" JeykllHyde: "Oh I would hate that." JeffreyDahmer: "Oh yes!" AnxietyAttack: "Guys shut the fuck up! It's stressful for him!" AnxietyAttack: "Logan if you don't want to its okay."

Remus watches the screen intently, glaring holes into to speaker icon next to Logan's username. He fills with delight as it's activated.

SpaceJam: "I-it's alright, I'm just... a bit nervous."

Remus accidentally slams his keyboard as he falls out of his chair, speaker locked on. He manages to get up and walks to the other side of his room, "HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK I AM IN LOVE!" Remus hears Roman's voice from the speakers and through the wall, "This dumbass fell out of his chair!" "Fuck off Roman I'm having a moment here!" Remus' face heats up as Logan's voice follows, "Remus are you hurt?" Why is Logan so nice? Remus can't handle this. "I'm alright Logan." After a few hours of bullshitting on chat and Remus freaking out over Logan, Logan advises all of them to go to bed. "I'm going to the airport now, if you get to sleep then you could see me as I arrive at Virgil's house." Remus happily replies, "Good night then, I want to be the first to get a look at you." He logs off and goes to read on his bed, knowing the excitement and his insomnia wouldn't allow him to sleep.

Remus is the first at Virgil's house in the morning and Virgil's mom offers to let him come with them, to which he happily and smugly agrees. He texts the chat smugly, excited to see Roman's reaction.

JeffreyDahmer: losers im going to the airport with virgil im gonna see logan first positivelyPrincely: OH THATS CHEATING YOU DIDNT EVEN SLEEP JeffreyDahmer: how was i supposed to? insomnia AND cute boy in the morning?

Remus waits by the gate with Virgil, who holds a sign reading 'Logan' in blue marker. Remus grins and asks Virgil to add something. Virgil rolls his eyes, "What do you want me to add?" "Space cutie!" Virgil laughs and lets Remus write it on underneath with a green marker. After a few minutes of waiting, Virgil points out a figure. He's wearing a blue tie over a black polo tucked into black jeans. He's pulling behind him two galaxy-themed suitcases. Virgil waves for his attention and gets it, sign being read. His face heats up and he walks over. "Lolo, so good to see you!" Virgil's mother hugs him, then Virgil does too, "I missed you L." Once freed from the hug, Logan looks over at Remus and gives a small smile, "Remus, right?" Remus' face lights up and he bounces on his feet, "How'd you know Spacey?" Logan laughs a bit, "You look exactly as I thought you would."

Virgil groans, "You two can flirt later. Let's go home so the others can meet you too." Logan and Remus talk on the way back to the car, keeping it more PG in front of Virgil's- and now Logan's- mom. As soon as the car pulls into the driveway, Roman and Patton run up to the car. Dee follows slowly behind. Logan goes to greet them all with a wave but Patton tackles him in a hug. "Oh, uh, hello Patton." Patton lets go of Logan so Roman can sling an arm over Logan's shoulder, "You're more handsome than I thought pocket protector. Still not a match for my princely charm, however." "Ah. You must be Roman." Dee walks up closer, "I know, Roman is so charming." Logan laughs a bit, "Good to see you, Dee." Dee breaks after a moment and gives Logan a hug while smiling." Virgil's mom gently tells them that Logan needs to unpack and the others groan but say goodbye and leave for their houses.

Remus goes to his room and sits in front of his computer, bouncing his leg as he stares at Logan's icon. After a few minutes, there is a ding, notifying a message and Remus smiles as he sees it's a private message from Logan.

SpaceJam: Remus, I am still packing but I wanted to ask you something before I 'chickened out' as Virgil says. SpaceJam: Would you like to accompany me to a museum of forensic anthropology?

Remus slides out of his chair and onto the floor, creating a small thump. Roman peeks his head into the room, "What happened? Did Logan say your name or something?" Remus points at the screen and Roman reads the messages, the nudges Remus with his foot, "Say yes you disaster! He's asking you on a date!" Remus lightly kicks Roman's leg, "Yeah, I know that!" He gets back up and types out a response but stares at it instead of pressing send. Roman sighs and hits send then goes back to what he was doing, leaving Remus to metaphorically die.

JeffreyDahmer: abso-fucking-lutely

#intrulogical #remus sanders #ts remus #logan sanders #ts logan #roman sanders #ts roman #patton sanders #ts patton #royality #deceit sanders #ts deceit #virgil sanders #ts virgil #sanders sides #dmitri-writes #sanders sides au #sanders sides oneshot #sanders sides oneshots #trans logan

[wolferals]

sneeky

Chris Schistad preference

{this is for Lara, the coolest bitch ever that i literally met an hour ago:)🦋}

*

*

-chris and you had been dating for about 2 months now after meeting him at a coffee shop in Oslo

-he went to school at Nissen but you were at Elvebakken so no one of your schoolmates knew about him and neither did his‘

-he had told you basically everything about his best friends William and Eliott (see what i did here😏) but they didnt know you guys were seeing each other

-but since both of you were pretty busy with school you could only see him on weekends and that was pretty hard

-so you decided to surprise him and transfer schools to Nissen without telling him

-you had talked to your parents and they didnt really care where u went to school, they just wanted you to have good grades

-in the morning of your first day at Nissen you got a text from Chris saying „have fun at school today baby.“

-you started smirking, grabbed your bag and walked out of the door to get to the bus stop

-you knew he usually was picked up this William guy so he wouldnt see you on your way

-about 30 minutes later your bus stopped close to the school and you followed the other students to make sure you got there

-you had put on your hood in case he might see you he wouldn’t recognize you right away

-since you didnt see him anywhere you walked inside the building to talk to the principal

-after that he took you to your new classroom where he knocked at first since it was already after 8

-he talked to the english teacher first before i got in

-when you entered the room you felt a pair of big shocked green eyes on you and you stopped yourself from grinning

-„this is y/n, she transferred here from Elvebakken“ the teacher introduced me to the class

-but one person already knew everything about you

-and he kept staring at you

-„you can sit over here, y/n.“

-you walked to your new desk a row in front of Chris so you could see his expression in the corner of your right eye

-internally you were screaming from your own sneekyness and geniosity

-your english teacher continued her class until break when you left the classroom to get to the chem labor

-suddenly you felt a hand grabbing your shoulder and you turned around with a big proud smirk on your face

-„what are you doing??“ he asked straight away

-„what does it look like hun? Im going to my next class at my new school“

-he pulled you behind the lockers and pushed your back against them

-he then bit his lip and whispered:“you know i cant kiss you right now but i want to so bad.“

-you grinned at him, put your hand on his chest to push him back slightly

-you then put on an innocent facial expression and spoke:“i dont know what you mean, im just new here. If you excuse me, i gotta get to class.“

-you left him standing there and walked away with the same smirk still plastered on your face

-you loved yourself for that

-after your todays classes you walked outside to meet chris somewhere far away from school

-when you walked through the hallway you noticed how people were staring at you and whispering things to their friends

-you had no clue why since no one couldve seen you and chris before and no one knew anything about you

-you also knew chris‘ reputation at nissen and about what he had done before dating you

-even tho people don’t believe that, he‘s actually a very sensitive guy that just does stupid things to push his things further away from him

-when you reached the schoolyard, a girl suddenly came up to you and asked „have you noticed how penetrator chris was looking at you in art class?“

-the name made you laugh out loud since he hadnt told you about his nice little nickname

-„uhm no why?“ you then replied

-the blonde girl looked around and said:“Everyone here wants to know whats wrong with him. No girl has been seen with his hoodie in a while.“

-„what do you mean?“ you asked confused

-„every girl chris hooks up with gets a penetrator hoodie with his name highlighted at the back.“

-you were kind of confused and slightly mad at him for doing such a dumb thing

-„i dont know about that but why would he‘ve been looking at me?“

-she shrugged her shoulders

-„maybe you‘re his next“

-„we‘ll see.“ you laughed, said goodbye to her and kept walking with a lot of people’s eyes following you

-maybe you‘re his next

-you were about to reply „way too late hun“ but luckily you didnt

-but you were exposed, apparently someone saw you guys staring at each other

-when you walked around the corner you saw a guy from your class standing there at his car

-you passed him but he stopped you

-„y/n right?“

-you looked at him confused. „Yeah“

-„i know you and chris are dating“

-you opened your eyed wide

-how would he know?

-„im his best friend, you might have heard of me. William“

-he offered you his hand to shake which you gladly took

-you always wanted to meet his friends but he never let you cuz of his reputation

-„ive known chris since kindergarten, i know how he acts around a girl he likes and just that eye contact thing you pulled in class told me he liked you more than just a hookup or anything. Dont worry i wont say anything.“

-you were shocked

-before you could open your mouth you heard a „hey!“ from your right

-chris came jogging up to you guys

-„talking to the new girl william? Thats really nice, i‘m sure -its y/n right- doesnt know many people here.“

-william rolled his eyes and spoke:“dude just kiss your girlfriend hello.“

-chris looked at him, then looked at me and without hesitation he planted a soft kiss on my lips

-„hi.“ he then whispered and looked back at william

-„did you tell him?“ he asked you

-„there was no need to.“ william answered cool

-„the way you were undressing her with your eyes was enough to see whats going on.“

-chris scratched the back of his head and laughed a little

-you were just standing there grinning at how amazing his best friend handled that strange situation

-after not speaking for a while william took his keys out of his pocket and threw them at chris

-„here“

-chris was clearly confused and looked at him

-„what?“ he asked

-„get your girlfriend home and take care that no one else finds out.“

-chris smiled and you guys walked to the car

-„what do you wanna do babe?“

-you smiled sweetly at him

-„take me to yours and finish what he started this morning“

-he laughed and asked:“and whats that?“

-„oh dont you remember when you were eye fucking me in chem class? Lets do that. But keep your eyes shut this time“

#chrisschistad #chrisxreader #cute #preference #skam #norway #hermantommeraas

[carrywolfy]

okay i will explain the drama

lol im bad explaining things in english because google traslator messed up things but is neccesary to say also im bad at making rant because im not big fan making rants because all bad arguments i did before

i bit copy paste this on my latest deviantart jounal but some changes to be undertandable i know people will block me or doesnt be agree at me but im gonna be honest at this and without fear all everything i saying is truth

Disclaimer: im not harrassing or attack users i just telling about the biggest drama i made on the Leopets site (a fansite dedicated to old school neopets) also please dont attack me because im telling the truth and all the mistakes i made ,please do not think that I am a crybaby because I am explaining honestly and sincerely and also you ask "why you blame yourself?" uff long history but i hope people understand, apart this is not an attempt at sentimental manipulation it is only an explanation of what happened to me.

probably no one will forgive me or they will not understand but I don't care and it's worth saying this, because it was my fault that I caused drama to the Leopets site that I did ... why? there my cases:

well im sorry to say this but is neccesary to say It because is very important, is for my content  that I did before, wow wow wow what? yes is truth because i was navegating in tumblr quiet and searching "leopets" to see what happend until suddenly I saw a post about what happened in that community and they did not lie and this I have to tell is true .. I was a mental illness yes i feel idk what i turned because i before did "zoophile" art and not only i was made porn being minor (well i really make nsfw art at 14 years old in 2016) although it is one of my worst mistakes i made well why? because i was super curious lol... at first time i get disgusted but the second time i was goin to like it blah blah blah oh yeah i was pervert before.. but that's not what matters because well past things lol, Suddenly the user began to give evidence about my content that I did when I was 17 years old before being adult and one of my cringy nsfw art i made before being 18 when thinks is rapist because the "tears" part but well i was thinking "okay is just tear pleasure" but i think dont work and looks like more rapist than tear pleasure, but man is made before being changed but well, because of the content I made now they think I'm a pedophile and a zoophile and i understand and im pretty sure they doesnt forgive me because all the bad things all i made the life, when thats why i need changing my content and no-longer make ilegal content , Maybe that is not an excuse but you must understand how guilty and responsible I am, it is also my fault that I made the admins allow pedophiles,babyfurs and zoophiles and that I understand, also of course now I must mature and be a good person.

speaking explicitly about my content, good sorry for saying this and I hope you do not attack me for doing this and I must be honest with you which one according to the post (please do not attack or insult her because what she says is true) she mentined about my cringy non-human x human stuff i did before specially neopets and kirby (and some other fandoms) when Currently I no longer do human porn or anthro x feral (well I'm fine with human x human, anthro x human and anthro x anthro now ) but is necessary to tell why   In fact, I thought that fictional beings are sanpient, I mean intelligent beings that many do not know, but I thought that it would be also that if it is fiction and the puffball part i have a explaniation how can make more sense most likely they are alien beings since they can interact with other people and do things that humans do, even all aliens are different in appearance and power and sometimes they also live with humans as we saw in animated movies or science fiction (im actually dont do making canon characters i mostly do my adult fcs and legal  i mean vainilla only) , what did a mental sick go to, but it is time for me to change, besides that I put the link to my FA page for some reason, what I did went very wrong and I don't know why I didn't delete my FA account before but well it's my fault and my mentality yeah im dumb.

Speaking abouts my stamps yeah i before again i was pervert and most my stamps are bad...really really bad and i did mostly nasty stamps im sorry but i know was terrible (i plan to deactivate my old deviantart account) so yeah i before If I used to complain about people who do not like the content +18, which I currently respect those types of people because no everybody have same taste or have same thing, so im sorry for all these persons how get offended i was dumb yeah but is not your faulth,is my faulth well yeah also all the accounts i actually using are not NSFW account because im changed now well i dont stop make nsfw but i wont involving too much of that when mostly im actually make sfw art now . But the actual problem is on my cringy stamp about "I love c*ntboys" because i before doesnt know what is trans man and i was wrong saying "c*ntboys" because again before I did not know what transgender people were until I discovered that it was sorry in fact it was one of my worst mistakes that I made also that I no longer use the term "c*ntboy" now I only use the term "trans male", "trans female" and "intersex" well i hate most my stamp i made in the past and my previous account of deviantart because im suck make stamps ,mostly bad argumented and I regret having done it

speaking leopets drama i was thinking what i have done because after reading that user post when i prefer to not naming and I prefer that you investigate for yourselves but I warn you not to harrassing, insult or attack the user and she was right, although if I only made things worse but hey I'm not going to give up I felt bad and I kept thinking about bad things that I did all these years that I can't believe so I had to control myself and try to do the bad things that I did again, and is my faulth to ruin the Leopets community because my bad content i did before and my mental sick thingy,when im not longer a sick person now and im stopping making zoophile and pedophile stuff yeah... And I suggest most of the members of Leopets will not be satisfied with me but they have to know the truth about me, clarify if you and the other members of Leopets, if you are reading this I do not blame you, remember that I know as I said several times I am responsible for the page ending like this and this is a message for the admins, please do not accept more pedophiles or zoophiles since you have to know what to do how to detect one even if they do that disturbing content (like i did before) , Maybe no one will agree with me or forgive me, well if things are not solved just by apologizing but you have to understand the person who converted me and I hope to change (I am changing slowly) I promise you that I will not make illegal content again, also if it was It was a mistake to do it when I was a minor, although I was not the only one but i had some friends from other communities also did it at those ages, I know that I will not return to leopets due to the disaster I made and my reputable content that I made, although if I regret everything, believe me in 2015 when in that year I did not know leopets, I used to steal characters from other artists, even from 2014 to 2015 I traced drawings of others These artists, which later I did not do it again and I regretted it, even in 2015 I was homophobic before because I complained about gay ships because of an ex-friend of mine who was actually toxic and that made me pay attention to him and I regretted doing it, of course I had many bad moments that I did and really if it is terrible what happens, and again I do not blame them, sorry for all the things that I have done but I did not give up since I will begin to evolve a better version of me to leave behind the bad content and my repulsed behavior I did and move on to my changed content which by now will be good and more interesting (im actually mostly sfw art now), also the only bad thing i didnt is babyfur well thankfully but the rest oh god...

also yes i was Kacheekawaii34 in Leopets and i was feeling guilty to all things i ever done but well yeah i got banned on leopets because the drama i caused, also to all leopets member I am not playing the victim or manipulating sentimentally, I am only explaining the truth what happened to me and believe me I am the cause of the problems that occurred in Leopets as well as I said a true im a guilty and sometimes toxic, i dont blame people on leopets when i dont want admins let hiring pedos,babyfurs and zoophiles when again im goin to change and forgotten all the bad things i made,I know that nobody wants me not to return to Leopets but my decision is to grow up and admit my mistakes that I made.  

And one more thing to know is that we are not all the same, we are all different, I mean, we all have different tastes and different things, if for sure I will have no defense and everyone is going to humiliate me for everything I did wrong but it is necessary to know that We can all change and leave behind all the things we have done before and follow our future, even we can all make serious mistakes since effectively nobody is perfect in this world, everyone is different and we are humans and we know humans make mistakes , and im sorry i acted as sick person but i promise wont act like this again

Sorry if some things are terrible explained or repeated, it is that it is super difficult to explain this and if you already know what happened to me and if it cost me a lot to write it but it is necessary to say this the truth about me and surely as I said nobody will To forgive but .. the safest thing is that they must accept my new changes that I will have and I will not be the same as before, now I will be a respectable person and I will not do that repulsive content again and believe me everything that explains is necessary to understand and read this , It was a long time, unless almost not the same thing happened to me like with Nicchi / Blackout, the creator of the well-known fnaf fangame "Dormitabis" to which he turned out to be a pedophile to which he made the reboot of that fangame be canceled after that the team found out what happened with the creator of the fangame towards repulsive things and end up abandoning him (in addition to the fact that the creator left the internet after this scandal) well after talking about this I hope it improves me and I know Feel better since I learned from the things I did and I already had a lesson

well see ya!! and i hope the next year i be better now and changed

#leopets #we are humans and we make mistakes #im suck yo explain yeah #i hope feel better

[transgenderboobs]

bunch o’ tag games under the cut

tagged by @dykeangel​ !! ty emilie 

what was your last…

drink - jus woter 

phone call - my phone company

text message - dad

song you listened to - the fall by half alive

time you cried - last night watching jojo rabbit 

have you ever…

dated someone twice - kind of?

been cheated on - not to my knowledge 

lost someone special - yes? i mean not like they died but people have like. left my life u know

been depressed - lmao

gotten drunk and thrown up - Yes. :|

in this year, have you…

made a new friend - Yes ! 

fallen out of love - no

laughed until you cried - Yes. do this a lot in the horny for worms chat

met someone who changed you - u mean like in these 3 months of 2020? no

found out who your true friends are - idk??? i mean i like to think i KNOW already

kissed someone on your facebook list - lol no

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life - like.....most of them.

do you have any pets - yes!!!!!! i have two cats and two dogs

do you want to change your name - yes. i just have to find one that feels right and then go about making the Effort to actually change it

what did you do for your last birthday - i just like. went out for dinner and ice cream

what time did you wake up - like. noon

what were you doing at midnight last night - watching jojo rabbit!!!!!!!

what’s something you can’t wait for - this pandemic to end so i can finally go the fuck to germany

when was the last time you saw your mum - new years eve

what are you listening to right now - nuffink babe

have ever met a person named tom - don’t think so

what’s something that gets on your nerves - my school’s admin giving me Useless info about this pandemic sitch re: my thesis/graduation

what’s your blood type - absolutely no clue. i asked my parents and they don’t know either. it’s a mystery

nickname - prem is a nickname

relationship status - obviously i’m married to daisy tonner sorry ladies ;)

zodiac sign - aquarius

pronouns - they/them

fav tv show - the good place!!!!!!!!!

tattoos - many. got some pics of a few of them in my tattoo tag

right or left handed - right

first…

surgery - none. well i had to be put under anesthesia  once so they could do some weird shit to my teeth cuz i had this nasty infection but idk if that counts

piercing - ears babey

best friend - her name was kalea we stopped talking when i was like 6 or 7 and she recently added me on fb again

sport - LOLLLLLL ME PLAYING A SPORT???? LMAO I HAVE TO LAUGHHHHHHHH

vacation - hmmmm i think going to texas to see my dads family just before my parents got divorced 

pair of trainers - what the fuck are trainers

right now…

eating - nothing

drinking - nothing? water?

i’m about to - get up and make some coffee

listening to - nothing

waiting for - nothing

want kids - NO NEVER

get married - yes bitch !

career - i just want to lie on a hot rock under the sun for several hours of the day 

which is better…

hugs or kisses - both

lips or eyes - eyes

shorter or taller - either would be excellent 

older or younger - don’t care as long as they’re close enough to my age 

romantic or spontaneous - romantic

nice arms or nice stomach - no preference

sensitive or loud - either. both

hook up or relationship - relationship

trouble maker or hesitant - trouble maker

have you ever…

kissed a stranger - i wanna say no but i was a god damn lunatic in high school so it’s possible 

drank hard liquor - Yes a lot

sex on the first date - never been on a date. but i have had s*x with someone after only knowing them for like 5 hours day so

broke someone’s heart - I THINK I DID BUT I DIDNT NOTICE TILL LIKE TWO YEARS LATER

had your heart broken - yes.

been arrested - yes.

cried when someone died - never really known anyone who died besides relatives i’d met maybe once in my life at max, so. n/a

fallen for a friend - i only wanna smash my bros bro

do you believe in…

yourself - eeehhhhhh

miracles - eeeEEEHHHHH

love at first sight - no.

santa claus - no

kiss on the first date - sure !

angels - no

-

tagged by @paintedvanilla​ !!! thank

instructions: tag 10 followers that you wanna get to know sorry

name: just prem

nicknames: prem is a nickname :3c

gender: oh no thank you i’m ok

star sign: aquarius

height: 5’9″ (OR exactly 69 inches or 175 cm)

sexuality: dyke

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

fave animal: i like owls and cats

average hours of sleep: god. who knows. not enough

current time: 12:30pm lads

dog or cat person: i mean i love them both but i think i’m a cat person

blankets you sleep with: just my comforter 

dream trip: @ MY SCHOOL JUST LET ME DO MY STUDY ABROAD TRIP TO GERMANY........

dream job: see above

when I made my blog: january 2014

followers: 3798

why i made a tumblr: god who remembers why i did anything in 2014. a bitch was still in high school in 20fucking14

reason for my url: no god damn genders allowed in this fucking house hold thank u Very much

-

rules: hit shuffle and list the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people

tagged by @d-quintana​ and @the1975bi​ !!! ilu guys 

ghost - halsey

firefly - breaking benjamin

monster - paramore

i write sins not tragedies - p!atd

broken open - cold war kids

brick by boring brick - paarmore

wild heart - bleachers 

this is gospel - p!atd

don’t stop - innerpartysystem

cliff’s edge - hayley kiyoko

the love club - lorde

anyone else but you - moldy peaches

curse - imagine dragons

west coast - coconut records 

lemon to a knife fight - the wombats

would that i - hozier

killer - the ready set

headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet - fob

snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers - fob

bad side of 25 - patrick stump

#tagged #me

[bleufrost]

Frozen Embers || Chapter Two

Loki x reader

Series Preview/General Story Guide

Warnings: swearing, very conflicted emotions, some violence but nothing bad

Series summary: Growing up under the guidance of S.H.I.E.L.D, you were trained from the moment you could walk to be a good agent. You were everything you needed to be, but the emotions and empathy that ran through your blood tainted all of your hard work. One day, you are given the chance to prove yourself by being assigned to the cell of Loki, the god of mischief. Quickly, icy walls begin to melt as you both realize that your time together is bringing forth a mix of flame and frost that can only end in chaos.

Original request by: @procrastinatinglikeabitch

Masterlist

A/N: MY HIATUS DIDNT LAST THAT LONG!! YAY! im trying not to let myself wallow too much because i feel like laying in bed all day just makes me sadder, so lets try to write instead haha

and here we have chapter twooo! after this it gets a lot more...interesting. as always, i hope you guys enjoy, and love you all!

As you walk over to the training deck to meet Fury, your mind can't help but turn over the events that had just transpired. Loki had acted so nonchalant as you left, if not for the vocalization of his desire to see you again, you would have thought him to be indifferent about the entire situation. 

But he had called out to you. He had made it very clear that seeing you again was not only something he would endure, but also something that he wanted. It made your heart beat rapidly in your chest and brought a smile to your face. You weren’t foolish enough to believe that the words meant anything, the way in which he had spoken them promised nothing but a craving to simply not be alone, yet you were still somewhat giddy. 

"I hope to hell that smile isn't a result of you meeting that psychotic motherfucker." You quickly replace the look on your face with one of annoyance and roll your eyes at Fury. "That's real mature, sir. Maybe I'm smiling because I get to see your pretty face." 

Fury chuckles but you instantly regret the banter when you see him look up. "Barton! Smartass here wants to act like a punk, I was going to have her train with one of the new cadets, but why don’t we have her work with you again instead?” Fury smiles at you, giving you a mock salute as he heads for the door. You groan and get ready for another ass kicking at the hands of your favorite archer.

***********************

As your head slams against the mat for the seemingly hundredth time that afternoon, Clint comes once again to reach a hand out to you and pull you up. You give him your hand, but this time you let all your weight drop as he moves to pull. For almost anyone else, that would’ve ended in him falling to the mat beside you; Clint wasn’t anyone else though. He gives you a disapproving look, but quickly softens when he sees how genuinely exhausted you are. 

“You alright kid?” You lift your knees up, resting your arms against the tops of them as you let out a long sigh. Clint takes that as his cue, and gently takes a seat beside you.

“I met Loki today.” He becomes visibly uncomfortable at the mention of the god’s name, rightfully so considering the things he had endured at the mercy of Loki. 

“I don’t know why they’re sending you in to do that kind of stuff. You’re too young to be dealing with things like that.”

“Well, I have to prove myself somehow, right? I’m just not sure how smoothly this will go.” Clint places a hand on your knee and squeezes gently. “If it gets bumpy, I’m right here.” You offer Clint a smile before pushing yourself up and reaching your hand out to help lift him too. 

That night you couldn’t sleep. Every time your eyes fell shut, you saw the mischievous god smiling before you. That same feeling of uncertainty settled in the pit of your stomach as you pondered over whether you should run to or from the god. All the warning signs, every instinct you had been taught, gut feelings and red flags; none of it mattered. You always chose to run to him and that should have been a huge signal to abort, but you couldn’t. 

Or maybe you just didn’t want to.

In the morning you were barely able to register waking up because you couldn’t remember falling asleep in the first place. 

You took extra care in the bathroom after leaving your bed; something you didn’t want to admit to. For some reason your hand reached for the perfume you had for special occasions. He wouldn’t be able to smell you through the walls of the cell, so why do it? You put on another black protocol outfit, but this time it was one you felt confident in; one you felt irresistible in. You don’t even fully realize you had done any of that until you finally snap out of it. 

Standing in front of the heavy metal door once more, you slide your key in just like yesterday. Your heeled boots click against the cold tile just as they did last time, but this time you don’t waver or try to stop the noise. You want him to know you’re coming. 

Loki had spent the entire day thinking about you. It was in no way something he found any pride in, in fact he was nearly humiliated by just how much of his time had been consumed by thoughts of you. He was trying to justify it in his mind; you were the first being he had come in contact with for quite some time, there was nothing special about you specifically. He would have been just as relieved to see the man of iron as he was to see you. Deep down though, he knew this wasn’t the case. 

There had been something about you that sparked his curiosity. You were an agent, that he knew. What he could not for the life of him understand is how you could be so wide eyed and innocent. You were so gentle, so kind hearted, so delicately human. In this case though, Loki felt that being so was not a downfall. On you, humanity was radiant and he was desperate to interact with you more. 

He would get that wish very soon.

"Loki?" Your voice rang through the hall as you stared at the god, trying to call his attention. Loki grinned, but you didn't take notice as he wiped the smile from his face before turning away from the wall to face you.

"Pet, you've returned." Walking toward you nearly silently, his face took on the familiar mischievous look that you had already grown to recognize. You could tell immediately that he was going to take any opportunity he could to be condescending or make you feel the necessity to leave, so you decided early on that you wouldn't give him the chance.

"I brought something. It's obviously not going to be as entertaining as I'm sure you're used to, but I thought you might enjoy it nonetheless." Smiling, you sat cross legged on the floor in front of him. 

Loki stayed standing for a moment, his mischief laced demeanor slowly transforming to one of curiosity as he pondered over whether or not to trust what you had brought him. 

You took notice of his hesitancy, and brought your bag out to open in front of you. Pulling out two books, you laid them down for him to see, smiling gently up at him to encourage him to take a closer look and, perhaps, trust you. The god still seemed unsure, but he finally leaned down to see what you had taken the time to bring.

"Hamlet…" His fingers reached out to trace the glass by each title as he read their names aloud. "...Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus…" 

His eyes were filled with questioning as he finally looked back up to you. "What am I to do with these? I cannot take them inside of my cell." Suddenly you got nervous as you wondered if offering to read to a god was truly a childish act. Your stomach filled with worry and subtle regret that nearly closed around your throat before you cleared it of the unmistakable fear and spoke up.

"I was thinking we could read together, or at least I could read to you for a while. It's...difficult to trust someone new at first and I don't expect you to want to speak to me right away. I know I wouldn't want to if I were in your position. I figured, hearing someone else's story can be a bit more comforting than sharing your own, at least for now." Your cheeks took on a pink tint as you mustered the courage to look him in the eye and grew self conscious of the rambling mess that had flown from your lips. 

"Do all humans speak so much when they are nervous?" Looking down quickly, the twist of your gut could be felt again as your embarrassment grew. "I'm sorry." The light sound of amusement startled you, and Loki stayed leaning down still and laughing; at you most likely. You had the urge to leave, but just as you moved to turn away from him Loki sat down in front of you and smiled, this one was different though, it felt oddly sincere. 

"Don't apologize. It's oddly endearing to see one act so unabashedly human." Loki reached his hands up and spread them out to indicate the two books. "Now, pet. Which story would you prefer to start with?" 

Nearly four hours later, the two of you were still there reading from Mary Shelley's classic story. Your bodies had shifted several times, at first keeping that distance between you. As the hours flew by though, you both found yourselves sat with your sides pressed against the glass next to each other. It almost felt like the layer that separated your bodies wasn't there at times, but it was and it would permanently remain so. 

You shouldn't want it to be gone, it was there to protect you. It was there to ensure he could never hurt you. That he could never grab you, or touch you, or hold you. 

You needed to stop thinking like that. It wasn't safe, he wasn't safe; right? 

"Pet, you've grown quiet." His voice startled you out of your thoughts and suddenly you realized just how close you two had become. You sat up suddenly and shut the book, doing everything in your power to not alert Loki to the fact that your heart was thumping loudly in your chest. Your hands shook slightly and you wrung them together to hide the telltale sign of nervousness. 

"Sorry, I think I'm feeling a little tired. I'll be back soon okay?" You tried your best to put on the most convincing smile you could and watched as he nodded slowly. He didn't believe that you were completely alright, but he also was not about to beg you to stay...at least not out loud. 

"Alright, rest up little one. I will await your return with every fiber of my being." It was a shock to hear him say that, and your face unfortunately let it show as he quickly turned away and went to busy himself with something else within his cell. 

Did he really just admit that he was waiting for you to come back? That he wanted you to come back to him? Of course he had said a similar thing the first time you met, but this time it felt far more profound, far more personal. Your head was a mess as you left the holding area and made your way back to your room. 

***********************

Once again, your mind raced with concerns and confusion all night. You had only just met the god and still felt so tightly bound to him, it wasn't natural. There had to be some sort of explanation for what was happening. He had mind controlled Clint before, he could be doing the same to you, right? No. He had held the power of the Tesseract then and no longer wielded such power now. 

In that case, it must be your own fatal flaw. You were a disgrace for a S.H.I.E.L.D agent because your empathy ran too high and too untamed. Now was no different and you had to learn to control your emotions if you were ever going to figure out the god and report your findings to the agency. You wanted to understand him...but did you really want to betray him? 

Unbeknownst to you, your fearful conflict was shared in the mind and heart of Loki himself as he paced within his holding cell. He had allowed it to slip that he awaited your return to him in a far more intimate way than he should have allowed, and that made him feel utterly humiliated. He was a god and you were nothing but a puny human, but even he could not deny that your lack of anger or restraint in allowing yourself to be open and understanding toward him was enchanting. It comforted him to know someone so gentle could care for him. But you didn’t care for him, did you? 

The general panic and unease that was shared between you both seemed to transcend any wall or cage that kept you from each other. Neither one of you were able to share any communication as you lay in your bed and he in his cell, yet there was a connection that caused you both to understand you weren't alone.

It was all in one a comfort and an unwavering cause for alarm to know that you held such a strong connection to someone you had nearly just met. As much as you tried to fight it off, It was undeniable that a flame was ignited, and fires like these only proved to grow with every attempt to extinguish them.

_______________________

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[imnotinclinedtomaturity]

Love Yourself (Chapter 32)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 17k story words: 267k (so far) chapter: 32/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia, eventual explicit smut, some depression, consensual d/s undertones genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: um so this is like a month overdue... but it's long af. and i've cut down what was going to go in this chapter. i hope it is worth the wait <3 massive thanks as always to @auroraphilealis for being my biffle, beta, and cheerleader. she's been by my side as a beat this chapter to death and listened to a million rambles of why it was important to me to keep it all together (which i only mostly ended up doing) and other pretentious shit. she's wonderful xx

note: this chapter contains more explicit themes than past ones. unlike past chapters, outside of the marked smut, there is risque material. skim at your own discretion if you are uncomfortable, but it wasn't set up in a way i could mark

By the time filming had finally ended, Dan felt emotionally fucking exhausted. Being so open and honest on national television, and having to be so careful with his words, had drained him of just about everything. There wasn’t an ounce of propriety left in him, and at this point, all he wanted was to be taken care of and not have to fucking think for a little bit.

Letting go — whatever that meant — was impossible on set. From the second he’d finished performing his song and had ducked backstage, he’d been craving a hug from Phil — a proper hug, not the one-armed bro-hug Phil had given him. But stagehands were running everywhere, and there didn’t seem to be a bloody centimeter of privacy, so Dan resisted. The minute he got in the uber, he could collapse against Phil.

But for now, resting his foot against Phil’s as he stood behind the stage wall would have to suffice. Dan closed his eyes, replaying his interview in his head as he listened to the loud hum of the audience laughing and applauding and — holy fuck. He’d actually just done that. He’d actually talked about his most personal matters, something he’d taken great lengths to keep secret, in front of all of those people. The studio held what? Two hundred people?

Two hundred people who were now privy to Dan’s rambling thoughts about sexuality and boxes, who now had a whole fountain of knowledge about Dan’s sexual and romantic preferences. Two hundred people who had seen Dan be open and vulnerable and honest.

The gravity of the interview smacked Dan in the face, and that’s when he realized, really truly realized, that those two hundred people were just the beginning. In a few short hours, that interview would play on national American tv, would stream on youtube worldwide. And sure, he had known that while he was filming, but he hadn’t known. Not in the way it was all hitting him now.

Dan swallowed thickly and let his hand brush against Phil’s. He wanted out of here. He wanted a hug. He wanted to think about anything other than this interview, his fate, his audience, just for a little bit anyway.

The twenty minutes it took to get an all clear lasted about five years. Dan was so on edge and ready to leave that he was already ordering a car before a stagehand had even finished dismissing them. Without waiting for proper goodbyes, Dan seized Phil’s wrist and dragged him out of the studio, down the lift, out the back door — and not the back door that fans often waited for celebrities at, either.

Dan felt a wave of relief rush through him when he burst out of the exit and found a black car already stalled next to the curb. Rushing over to the car, Dan wrenched open the back door and ushered Phil inside.

The relief coursing through Dan’s veins ran cold when the driver greeted him though. The way he confirmed Dan’s name, the breathlessness in his voice and the distinct spark in his eye — they were the unmistakable signs that someone recognized him.

Perhaps the ride back to the hotel wouldn’t be as relaxing as Dan had hoped.

Still, Dan shuffled in after Phil, leaving the full space of the middle seat between them. And less than a block later, Dan’s hunch was proven right when the driver asked which show he had been recording for at Rockefeller Center.

Not wanting to actually engage with this stranger, Dan grunted a reply and made a show of putting in his headphones, even though he didn’t actually play any music. It may have been rude, but it worked. The driver didn’t ask any follow up questions.

Of course, that didn’t stop his gaze from flickering into the rear view mirror every other bloody second. Dan felt like an animal in a glass box, on display and on edge. Phil was right there, but Dan didn’t feel like he could reach out, not under such intense observation.

Like Dan had told himself and Phil and Louise a million times, tonight was about talking about bisexuality, about giving that topic all the attention it deserved, not about him and Phil. The last thing Dan wanted was to have their relationship inadvertently outed by a random crew member or uber driver.

So Dan held back. Instead of sinking into his boyfriend’s side and letting himself get lost in Phil, Dan stayed on his side of the backseat and fell prey to one of the most volatile coping strategies he had — the internet.

Dan googled the average number of viewers of The Tonight Show and discovered it was over two million a night — and that wasn’t including the extra views that youtube brought in. And that, naturally, brought Dan to his next google search, where he discovered that The Tonight Show’s youtube channel had a whopping nineteen million subscribers. Subscribers who would undoubtedly have access to Dan’s rants about bisexuality, and his recently failed relationship, in just a few hours time.

Overwhelmed by the sheer significance of everything, Dan spread his legs obnoxiously far apart so that one knee pressed into Phil’s. Phil nudged back deliberately, a silent reassurance of his presence, a subtle demonstration of his support.

It wasn’t the bear hug Dan craved, but it was enough for now. The slight pressure of Phil’s leg against his own helped Dan stay grounded as he switched gears and fell down a wikipedia black hole about most viewed celebrity interviews. Unsurprisingly, videos about famous entertainers coming out were high on the list.

Right. No pressure there.

By the time the car pulled up to the hotel, Dan’s desire for real physical contact had developed into flat out desperation. He just needed this goddamn weight to ease back for a fucking minute.

Without waiting for Phil, Dan hiked his backpack over his shoulder and bolted into the hotel, through the lobby, and straight to the lifts.

It seemed to take bloody forever for a lift to actually arrive, but it took even longer for Phil to catch up. Dan had to pass on two elevators before he finally saw Phil entering the hotel, lumbering awkwardly across the lobby, weighed down with Dan’s guitar.

Oops.

In Dan’s haste to make it to their room, he’d forgotten that his guitar — his favorite guitar — was in the trunk. Eyeing Phil’s lopsided stance, Dan grimaced and took a small step towards him.

“Sorry,” Dan said apologetically as he pressed the up button for the third time. “Lemme take that,” he offered, reaching out for the worn handle of his guitar case.

With absolutely none of the coordination that Dan had developed over the years, Phil switched the guitar to his opposite hand, suddenly making it much harder for Dan to easily swipe it out of his grip.

“Phillll,” Dan whined, reaching across Phil’s body for the handle.

“Dannnnnn,” Phil retaliated as he stuck his tongue out and held the guitar even further out of Dan’s reach. His bicep was quaking, and his body definitely wasn’t used to the extra awkwardly large weight, but Dan couldn’t help appreciating how fucking sexy it was that, for the first time in ages, he had someone that was willing — determined, even — to carry Dan’s shit.

The bell on another lift finally dinged, and the doors opened. Dan’s attention snapped from Phil’s playful face to the empty lift. Relief rushing in just by the sheer presence of the lift, Dan gestured for Phil to take the lead. Luckily, it was that in-between time of night when most people were at dinner or something of the sort, and they had the lift to themselves. Dan took advantage of the brief moment of privacy and stepped in close to Phil, his knuckles gently brushing against Phil’s hand, the loving fingers that were inexpertly wrapped around the handle of Dan’s heavy guitar.

“Thanks,” Dan murmured, the teasingly childish tone suddenly vanishing, and a disgustingly sweet one taking over. In what he hoped wasn’t too cheesy of a move, Dan closed the small distance between them and pressed a chaste kiss to Phil’s cheek.

Brows furrowed, Phil cocked his head at Dan. “Dan, it’s just a guitar, I don’t mind.”

“Mmm,” Dan hummed, stepping back to his place. He watched the numbers climb as they passed floor after floor, observing Phil out of the corner of his eye. Phil was quiet, but shot Dan an odd look, his expression a mix of pointed and sad. It utterly baffled Dan for a second — until he remembered their conversation from yesterday morning, that was.

Phil didn’t have to say a word, Dan could practically hear him pointing out that his reaction was a bit unhealthy. Appreciation was fine, sure, but the amount of surprise he felt at a partner doing something so simplistically nice probably didn’t speak highly of his past relationships.

Wanting out of that moment before Phil could force Dan to properly think about his reaction, Dan darted out of the lift as soon as the doors opened and hurried down the hallway. Behind him, Phil’s footsteps echoed down the hallway, pausing just out of reach when Dan came to a halt outside of their door and fumbled to find his room key.

Maybe nerves or exhilaration or exhaustion was still gripping Dan, or maybe it was the knowledge that he had Phil and a hotel room and a foreign city all to himself tonight, but it took him three tries of swiping their card before the light finally flickered green.

The click of the latch was a wave of relief, and Dan found himself shoving their door open with far more force and enthusiasm than was necessary. Without waiting for Phil, Dan barrelled into their room and crossed the space in three quick strides, coming to a stop in front of their bed and spinning around to stare impatiently at Phil.

Fucking finally, they were alone.

Phil was a few steps behind him, and didn’t seem to have any of the urgency that Dan had. Dan watched anxiously as Phil walked towards him at the pace of an impregnated, fat sloth. Carefully, and ungodly slowly, Phil sat the guitar down in front of the bed and finally, finally his hands were free.

Dan didn’t wait for Phil to straighten up before launching himself into Phil’s arms, physically demanding to be held. The sudden weight of Dan threw Phil off balance, causing him to stumble backwards towards the bed.

“Oi,” Phil gasped as he tumbled to the bed, just barely managing to not fall all the way onto his back under Dan’s momentum. Even as he fell, his hands landed on Dan’s hips and pulled him down to the bed too. Just for a moment, Dan found himself awkwardly leaning into Phil, not quite sitting, not quite standing.

With a flustered giggle, Dan shifted his body so he was straddling Phil’s lap instead. Dan’s hands slid up from Phil’s waist, and looped around his neck, finally pulling him into the private and intimate embrace Dan had been dying for.

“Well hello there,” Phil greeted, his hands dipping under the hem of Dan’s jumper, his fingers thumbing over the jut of Dan’s hipbone. Phil’s voice was low, and his touch was sultry, and Dan couldn’t hold back a shaky sigh. He felt so damn needy, and the soft drag of Phil’s fingers on his bare skin was already quieting his screaming mind some.

Dan shifted back up, just enough so that he could look Phil in the eye. The cheeky and smug look on Phil’s face wasn’t surprising — maybe someday Phil would stop looking so satisfied about the reactions he pulled from Dan, but they clearly weren’t there yet.

“Hi,” Dan responded with a smile, not even bothering to hide the effect Phil was having on him. Dan tipped his head forward, closing the small distance between them, and pressed his lips to Phil’s.

Despite Phil’s teasing tone, he let Dan take what he wanted, matching Dan kiss for kiss and touch for touch. Dan wasn’t sure who licked whose lips first, who opened their mouth for who first. He did, however, realize that it only took a short minute for them to escalate from sweet kisses to proper snogging.

Before they could get too carried away, Dan pulled back, panting slightly. Even though he needed a decent lung capacity for singing, it seemed that kissing Phil for two minutes stole his breath in a way that a long high note never could.

“Where’s — the room service — menu?” Dan asked, his words coming in pants as his gaze drifted to the bedside table and then the desk, searching for a helpful booklet.

Phil fingers slipped down from the middle of Dan’s waist to the low hem of his pants. His brows furrowed and he cocked his head to the side. “Why?” he asked.

Huffing an exaggerated sigh, Dan shot Phil an incredulous look. “Because I’ve had a crazy fucking day and would like to let loose a little…?” After knowing Phil for nearly three full months, Dan was rather surprised to have to point out the obvious to him.

“Well yeah,” Phil huffed and cleared his throat. His pupils were blown wide, and now it was Dan’s turn to feel pleased with himself; he might be a mess from two minutes of kissing Phil, but Phil was just as flustered after two minutes of kissing Dan. “I know that much.” Phil rolled his eyes and slid his hands out of Dan’s trousers to a less scandalous spot, tracing his thumbs lightly Dan’s prominent hip bones. “I just meant, I’m surprised that you don’t want to go out since we only have a few nights here.”

Dan shrugged, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth as he contemplated Phil’s comment. He’d definitely had some great nights in the bars of New York, but they’d all come with the unfortunate price tag of at least half a dozen paparazzi photos. That wasn’t what Dan wanted tonight — tonight he just wanted Phil.

Tentatively, Dan let his hands drift from Phil’s shoulders up to his bare neck, his thumbs softly rubbing along Phi’s pulse points. “I mean… It’s not that I don’t want to enjoy New York, I just…” Dan couldn’t help the way his gaze drifted down from Phil’s, landing instead on his lips. Coyly — or at least he hoped it was coy and sexy — Dan slipped his hands down Phil’s neck and under the collar of his button-up shirt. “I’d rather not be bothered by a fan or the media tonight, ya know?” Just in case the meaning behind his words wasn’t clear enough, Dan dipped his thumb further down Phil’s shirt and grazed his collarbone suggestively.

“Mmm, that’s fair,” Phil murmured. Taking Dan’s lead, Phil’s hands nudged up higher on Dan’s hips, pushing his leather jacket and tight jumper up even higher so Phil’s fingers could brush over the bare skin near the top of Dan’s ribs. “But what if I told you I knew a place where we’d be left alone?”

Cocking an eyebrow, Dan straightened up. He’d been in New York. He’d been to elite clubs, he’d been to dive bars, he’d been to locals only restaurants — and on every occasion, he’d been photographed. In his experience, this was a city of famous people, and in turn, that meant it was a city of photographs and tabloids, a city of journalists searching for their next break.

“What kind of place is this?” Dan asked skeptically.

“Well,” Phil bit his lip, suddenly looking a little hesitant. “Technically it’s a gay club. But the standard cover is high enough to keep out most fans, and they’ve got an absurd amount of security, just in case.”

“How do you know about a place like that?” Dan pried; he’d been to New York half a dozen times and he’d never heard of any exclusive gay clubs. But even as Dan questioned Phil’s knowledge, he could feel the excitement growing in his stomach. He hadn’t been to a proper gay bar since he was seventeen, and never with a partner — at least not someone who wasn’t just a fling. He couldn’t deny that the idea was hotter than hell.

“Oh. Uh, well,” Phil shrugged awkwardly, sounding shifty. His eyes darted away from Dan’s, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Another gay youtuber has a friend who is a bouncer there?” he explained, but he sounded so unsure that it came out as a question.

Dan eyed Phil suspiciously. “How jealous should I be of this guy right now?”

“Of Tyler? Not at all. No way. Never.” Phil shook his head vehemently, his gaze flicking back to Dan.

“And Tyler is…?” Dan prompted slowly, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head.

“He’s just a casual friend who lives in LA. We collaborate when we’re in the same city,” Phil shrugged.

Dan narrowed his eyes skeptically. “And the bouncer?” he pushed, sensing that there was something that Phil wasn’t admitting.

Phil’s gaze shifted to the side again, his cheeks growing red. The grip on Dan’s chest slipped, Phil’s hands dropping down to the base of Dan’s hips.

Dan’s heart followed Phil’s hands, plummeting down into his stomach and then somehow sinking even further. Just from Phil’s reaction, Dan knew he’d figured it out.

“It was one time and really didn’t matter,” Phil admitted, sounding defeated, embarrassed. “But he’ll let us both in for free and there won’t be cameras there.”

Dan was surprised to find that he wasn’t just jealous, he was almost repulsed. His stomach churned as his brain supplied images of Phil and some gorgeous boy tangled in bed together, making him feel nauseous.

“I’m not sure I want to meet a guy you’ve fucked,” Dan said, aiming for teasing and joking, but as soon as he said it, he was sure the insecurity shined through. “I mean, what if he’s cuter than me?” Dan chuckled half-heartedly, doing his best to salvage his dignity. He really didn’t want Phil to think he was a jealous dick or clingy or something else completely annoying. Even if it was kind of true.

Phil laughed — genuinely laughed, not an awkward chuckle like before. “First off,” he started, his voice actually light and humorous, not forced casual like Dan’s. “There’s no way anyone has ever, or could ever, be cuter than you. Not that I'm aiming to find someone else.” As if to prove his point, Phil’s fingers dipped into Dan’s jeans and pointedly hooked under his pants. It wasn’t just a little this time; now Phil’s hands were properly inside of Dan’s pants, his fingers inching towards more intimate parts of Dan’s body. “And second off,” Phil continued, “I suffered through two months of knowing you were sleeping with someone else. I think five seconds of interaction with a random guy I slept with a year ago doesn’t compare.”

“Uh!!” Dan gasped in protest, his voice high pitched and offended. “I didn’t sleep with her for the last month and you know it!”

“Yeah, now I know,” Phil agreed begrudgingly. “But I didn’t then and I was so damn envious.” Phil licked his lips slowly. “Plus,” he added, his voice lower and gruff. “You were sleeping with her in the beginning, and I had to watch you come in with marks all up and down your neck that proved it.” As if to make his point, Phil dragged his fingers along Dan’s sensitive neck possessively, thumbing over the spot where coverup was hiding a hickey on Dan’s pulse point.

Dan’s stomach twisted in reaction, and a shiver ran down his back — whether it was the clear jealous attitude or the cursing that was turning him on, he wasn’t sure. There was a part of him that was willing to forfeit embracing any amount of New York tonight, that wanted to rock his hips forward and show Phil just how little reason he had to be jealous now, to take full advantage of the nice hotel room they had.

“Come on, let me take you out, buy you a few drinks. Maybe a nice dinner first, if you’re hungry,” Phil pleaded.

There was another part of Dan — an unexpectedly bigger part of him — that was itching to go out with Phil, to find a different way to show Phil that Dan was all his, even if it wasn’t the approach he was used to. And besides, after so many months of being dragged out by his ex, something in Dan couldn’t help finding the fact that Phil wanted to take him out, just for the sake of being together, incredibly sexy.

“Alright,” Dan agreed, conceding even as he let his hips suggestively rock against Phil’s just once — he couldn’t resist, not if he wasn’t going to have the chance to do so for a while. “We should definitely have something to eat first, though. I haven’t eaten nearly enough today and I reckon I’ll be drunk after half a cocktail if we don’t get food.”

“Fair enough,” Phil agreed as his hands slipped out of Dan’s pants, lightly gripping Dan’s hips and guiding him backwards. Tilting slightly to the side, Phil fished his phone out of his back pocket. “What kind of food do you want, then?”

“Doesn’t matter. Something with a view of the city might be nice,” Dan suggested with a small shrug. Sliding all the way off Phil’s lap, Dan made his way to the mirror, fluffing at his hair. The makeup from earlier still looked nice; the eyeliner wasn’t smudgy and the color on his cheeks still seemed to accentuate his features. Eyes meeting Phil in the mirror, Dan added, “Nowhere so fancy we can’t wear the clothes we’re wearing to the club, though.”

He knew if they had to come back to the hotel to change there was no way Phil was convincing him to leave again.

“I know just the place,” Phil said decisively, his gaze turning back to his phone.

*******

Less than an hour later, an uber was dropping Dan and Phil just outside of Times Square with an apology that they couldn’t get them any closer to their destination. During what felt like an infinitely-long car ride for Dan’s curious nerves, Phil had refused to tell Dan where he was taking him, and for a split second, Dan had been worried Phil was going to usher him to one of the hot dog or pizza carts littered around the square before leading him to a bench to people watch.

Not that Dan was strictly opposed to street food — he certainly didn’t want Phil to splurge on another fancy meal so soon after their last date. But also, he’d learned from experience what some vendors’ food will do to stomachs, and if they were planning to head to a club later that night, they should at least try to spare themselves diarrhea and food poisoning.

Phil took a hard right before they made it to the throngs of people though, his hand on Dan’s lower back to guide him in the right direction. The sudden turn led them… into the valet entrance to the Marriott?

Dan turned to look at Phil, but his face was perfectly neutral. “Phil, did you bring us halfway across Manhattan to eat at a different hotel’s restaurant?” Dan asked dubiously, letting Phil lead him through the revolving doors and into the hotel lobby.

“Yeah, we’re going to eat at the touristy hotel bar of a place we aren’t even staying,” Phil responded sarcastically. His hand dropped from Dan’s back, something that disappointed Dan until he followed Phil’s gaze to a gaggle of teenagers across the lobby. “Just trust me, Howell,” Phil teased, flashing Dan a coy smile as he pressed the call button for the lift, the doors immediately opening.

“If you insist,” Dan smirked, stepping into the lift after Phil. “You’re on thin ice though, Lester.” Despite the mock-warning in his voice, Dan quickly closed the gap between them when the doors closed and pressed a quick kiss to Phil’s cheek.

The doors parted again just seconds later, letting them out at the third floor. Confidently, Phil led them down the hallway, only to stop in front of another set of lifts. Dan cocked an eyebrow but wordlessly followed Phil as the doors to the next lift opened.

“Those only go to hotel rooms past this floor,” Phil cryptically explained as he pressed the button for the forty-eighth floor. This ride was longer, giving Phil enough time to lean in and kiss Dan on the lips. “I can’t promise this place will be free of photographers, so get it out of your system.”

Despite his giggles, Dan leaned forward and captured Phil’s lips with his own, this time lingering long enough to capture Phil’s lower lip between his teeth, long enough to nip at the soft and sensitive flesh inside Phil’s mouth. Long enough to reach for Phil’s hips and slip his fingers beneath Phil’s clothes, suggestively thumbing across the bare skin of Phil’s waist.

“Mmff!” Phil let out a throaty noise halfway between a moan and a reprimand, as he pulled back from Dan’s kiss.

“What?” Dan asked innocently, even as he let his fingers drift towards Phil’s arse. “You said to get it out of my system.”

“Well I didn’t think you’d feel me up in a lift,” Phil shot back snarkily.

“Mmmm,” Dan hummed. “Maybe I could resist feeling my boyfriend up in a lift if he didn’t look so damn gorgeous.” Dan eyed the denim jacket Phil was wearing, his gaze lingering on the fitted shirt covered with tiny pale flowers that was buttoned up all the way to his Adam’s apple, drawing Dan’s attention to Phil’s neck. The deep, pinot-noir purple stood out starkly against Phil’s pale skin, bringing out his eyes and making him look unfairly quirky and sexy at the same time.

The bell dinged and the doors parted, cutting off Phil’s reply. Dan snapped his mouth shut, but let himself continue eying Phil as he exited the lift — he could only do so much to tamp down his blatant arousal tonight, when Phil looked like that.

Phil didn’t hesitate to stride up to the host stand and give his name — that was something Dan was still getting used to, a partner being willing to take the lead in moments like this. It was proving to be far hotter than Dan had ever expected it to be.

Dan was still processing everything when the hostess started leading them towards a table. The restaurant seemed to form a circle around the lifts, and all of the exterior walls were replaced with grand windows overlooking the New York skyline.

Dan had only gotten one foot on the raised platform before Phil’s hands were softly gripping his shoulders. It was a good thing, too; Dan was fairly certain he would have fallen if Phil hadn’t steadied him. Beneath their feet, the platform was moving.

“What the…?” Dan breathed, baffled by the way the top step was moving but the bottom wasn’t.

“Look outside,” Phil murmured, his voice just centimeters from Dan’s ear. Following Phil’s suggestion, Dan glanced out the nearest window. Now that Dan was looking closer, the city around them seemed to be shifting slightly, and it took him a moment to realize that it was the restaurant that was rotating ever so slowly, not the skyscrapers outside.

“Holy shit,” Dan mumbled quietly, coming to a halt when the hostess gestured to a small table along one of the massive windows.

Dan sat, too captivated by the view of this foreign city to pay attention to the muted conversation Phil was having with the woman. Outside, Dan could see building after building, could see the moon rising over the water. It was a spectacular view, and judging by the slow rotation, it was only a portion of what he was going to see tonight.

It wasn’t until Phil’s knee gently bumped against his that Dan tore his gaze away from the window and turned back to face his boyfriend instead.

“When did you have time to make a reservation?” Dan asked stupidly, his brain still struggling to wrap itself around the amazingly gorgeous restaurant Phil had brought him to.

“While you were primping for tonight,” Phil teased. His hand slid across the table just enough to brush his knuckles across the back of Dan’s hand.

Dan’s hand, the one that wasn’t just barely touching Phil, flew up to self-consciously pat his curly hair.

“Stop,” Phil gently ordered. “You look good. Really good. Primping time was well used.”

Dan’s hand fell back to the table, his thumb immediately tapping out a mindless rhythm. He couldn’t believe Phil had taken the twenty minutes of downtime to book them a window-side table. “You’re amazing,” Dan sighed, awe dripping from his voice. “Seriously amazing.”

Phil tilted his head to the side, shrugging his shoulder as he flashed Dan a cheeky grin. “That is what they call me,” he said playfully.

“Oh fuck off,” Dan huffed, unable to stop the wide smile that spread across his face and the way his hand pressed against Phil’s. Teenage Phil really had picked out the perfect username for himself — amazing was by far the best word to describe him.

Dan’s gaze drifted back to the window. The view was slowly twisting so that they could see more and more of the river. The water was twinkling, reflecting both the moon and the bright lights of the city.

“Wait,” Dan exclaimed suddenly, his head whipping from the window to Phil. “Don’t you get motion sickness?”

Phil shrugged, a soft smile on his face. “Usually. But the restaurant moves so slowly that it won’t bother me as long as I don’t look outside for too long.”

Huffing a small sigh, Dan frowned slightly. “We could have gone to a restaurant where the view wouldn’t make you sick,” Dan pointed out.

“We could have,” Phil agreed easily. “But I knew you’d like this one.”

“Oh,” Dan mumbled quietly, a smile pulling at his lips. He turned his attention to the menu, if for no other reason than an easy excuse for hiding the blush that was flushing his cheeks. Phil ignored his dinner menu in favor of the black, leather-bound drink book on the table.

“Does your hatred for white wine extend to champagne, as well?” Phil asked idly, not looking up from the menu he was studying.

“Definitely not,” Dan denied vehemently, smiling stupidly at the thought of Phil ordering them champagne. “Champagne is its own branch of alcohol and it’s wonderful.”

“Good,” Phil folded the alcohol menu primly, and looked back up at Dan. “Because you were truly exceptional tonight, and deserve to be spoiled.”

“Phi-illlll,” Dan whined, bringing his menu up to hide the redness of his face with such force that it accidentally smacked him in the nose. His stomach tightened at the compliment, a shiver ran down his spine.

“Oh I forgot,” Phil said innocuously, his voice far too knowing to actually be innocent. “Does someone have a bit of a praise kink?” Phil continued with fake-casualness, his voice low and quiet. Husky. Sexy.

Dan dropped his forehead to the table with a resounding thunk, the menu shifting to cover the back of his head as his hands shielded his face from Phil’s view. “You aren’t supposed to take advantage of that in public.”

“Oops!” Phil laughed, actually laughed, as he kicked a foot out to nudge Dan’s. “Sit up and pick out what you want for an appetizer, babe.”

Slightly mortified, and more than a little flustered, Dan rose up again, his gaze steadfastly fixed on his menu. It was a fruitless effort, though — he could feel Phil’s eyes boring into him, which did nothing to calm his pounding heart and swooping stomach.

He realized they’d been handed a prix-fixe menu, meaning they would each get three courses for the flat rate of… holy shit. Eighty nine dollars.

At this rate, it was getting hard to tell if Phil’s tastes in restaurants was just as fancy as Dan’s, or if he was trying far too hard to impress him. In the months that Dan had gotten to know Phil, he’d learned that Phil was generally somewhat frugal — though never to a fault. In his business and personal life, Phil was always conscious about how he earned and spent his money. That hardly seemed in line with the extravagant dinners he was taking Dan to.

“Phil,” Dan started carefully, planning to test the waters and see if Phil would want to switch to the normal menu, one where they could share an appetizer and skip dessert (and shave a few dollars off the bill).

“Hush up and choose your appetizer, Howell,” Phil said without looking up from his own menu.

“Fine, I will, but…” Dan trailed off, his eyes darting out the window to avoid looking at Phil for a second before drifting back.

Phil folded his menu in front of him and looked at Dan with an unreadable stare. “But what?”

“But… you know not every date has to be expensive food and fancy restaurants, right? I’d be fine with Dominos and your sofa.”

“And I’m sure we’ll have our fair share of nights in with too much pizza. But I also like quality food and nice restaurants, and I know you do, too. So order whatever you want and enjoy tonight.”

Dan’s face must have betrayed the small bit of wariness that was still gnawing at his stomach, because Phil continued, “Look, if it makes you feel better, I promise you can pay next time we go somewhere expensive, okay?”

Dan smiled, his heart melting. “I adore you, Phil Lester.”

“And I you, Daniel Howell.”

****

The food was heavenly. Dan opted for lighter, mostly vegan dishes — a salad and a lovely squash roast — because he didn’t want to feel bloated and lethargic if they were going out after dinner. Phil had seafood instead and offered Dan small tastes of it, holding his fork across the table and letting Dan bite off it.

Dinner was lovely, but the company was even better. By the time their waiter was bringing them dessert menus, they were both well on their way to properly tipsy.

Sometime during the main course, Phil had ordered a second bottle of Dom Perignon. The bubbles — and ever growing feelings of infatuation — were going straight to Dan’s head, making him feel giddy in a way he couldn’t ever remember feeling before.

Around them, the restaurant was quietly buzzing with the Friday night crowd, the bar growing slightly more crowded as the night went on. Sometime in the past hour, the overhead lamps had dimmed, the lights of the city outside casting a soft glow over their table. They’d made a full circle, rotating around to see the empire state building and central park, and now they were back to the river.

Still though, Dan only had eyes for Phil.

Under the table, their feet were entwined together, mostly shrouded by the long white table cloth — although the more champagne Dan drank, the less he cared. A few times, when Phil gave him a particularly sweet compliment or an especially sexy look, Dan couldn’t resist brushing his fingertips over Phil’s or letting his toe drag up the inside of Phil’s leg.

In typical Phil fashion, he turned his full attention away from Dan for the first time all night when the dessert menus came, reading over the options with impressively deep intense concentration. Dan didn’t mind — he knew he couldn’t compete with sweet food, but he also knew dessert would come and go, and Phil would be his again.

“Dan!” Phil exclaimed, pointing to the very first item on the menu. “Look, they’ve made cake out of cheese! That shouldn’t get to count as a dessert!”

Dan giggled, his eyes still trained on Phil. “You know, not everyone has the same weird aversion to cheese as you, Philly.”

Phil didn’t respond, too engrossed in the list. “Oooo, look, they have profiteroles and — ew!” Head shooting back up, Phil gave Dan a genuinely horrified expression. His voice was just a hair too loud for inside, especially for the posh and intimate restaurant, but it was fine. “Who orders a cheese plate for dessert!?”

Fuck, Dan was so soft for this boy, this boy who had such bullheaded opinions over what counted as dessert, but was entirely open-minded about anything bigger. “What can I say, the world is full of zanies and fools.”

“Who don’t believe in sensible rules?” Phil quipped back with his brows raised knowingly, not quite singing, but also not exactly just talking either.

“Exactly,” Dan agreed with a nod, letting his eyes linger for just a second before finally flitting down to read his own dessert menu. There was an undefined sappy thought beating at the edge of Dan’s mind, something about how Phil felt like the fairytale impossible thing that happened to him, but he shoved it aside — that was too much even for his champagne-addled heart.

Scanning his menu, Dan’s gaze caught on one of the desserts — not because of the ingredients, but because of the suggestive name.

“I reckon I’ll order the Cherry Explosion,” Dan said, voice low as he looked up at Phil through his darker-than-usual eyelashes. “Hopefully it’ll be a preview of what’s to come later tonight.”

Phil held his gaze for a long second, a slow smirk spreading across his face and a playful twinkle in his eye. “You know,” he started slowly, leaning forward. Beneath the table, a warm hand suddenly landed on Dan’s thigh, fingertips dipping between his legs to rub along the inseam of Dan’s trousers. “I’m not normally a big fan of cherries, but if that’s what gets you there, I can get used to it.”

Dan’s jaw dropped open — both at Phil’s words and at the way his hand was slowly creeping higher and higher up Dan’s leg.

“I don’t — I’m not —” Dan stuttered, trying to defend why he had cherry lube at home, but there wasn’t a restaurant appropriate way to say that he got used to keeping it on hand in hopes that it would entice his ex-boyfriend to eat him out. “I don’t love the taste that much!” Dan finally managed.

Phil’s hand froze on Dan’s leg, his brows shooting up and a knowing smile growing on his lips. “So the flavor isn’t for your benefit, hmm?”

Shrugging, Dan did his best to keep his face neutral and voice steady — but the heat on his cheeks and his quickened breath told him he wasn’t doing a great job of either. “A lad can hope…” Dan muttered weakly.

The knowing smile on Phil’s lips turned positively lewd, his tongue peeking out to wet his bottom lip, his eyes darkening with lust. “Hope for what, Daniel?” Phil challenged.

Dan swallowed thickly, squirming beneath Phil’s intense gaze. He fiddled with the edge of his menu, resisting the simultaneous urges to knock Phil’s hand off his leg so he could think straight and pull Phil’s hand a few centimeters higher to where Dan really wanted it. “You know… something besides just… fingers,” Dan murmured, dropping his eyes to the table.

“I think most people don’t need flavors for a simple blowjob,” Phil pointed out, a smug edge to his voice.

“Philllll,” Dan whined, his face growing impossibly redder. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he grumbled into his flute of champagne, refusing to look Phil in the eye.

“Look at me, babe,” Phil demanded softly. Head still bowed, Dan shifted his eyes to look up at Phil, whose fingers resumed their teasing caress along Dan’s inner thigh. “And tell me what you meant.”

“I didn’t mean there,” Dan whined, praying Phil wouldn’t actually make him confess that he liked being eaten out in the middle of a fancy New York restaurant. That’d he’d settle for the blatant implication.

Phil looked like he might push it, but Dan was saved by the timely appearance of their waiter, back to take their dessert order.

Without taking his eyes off Dan, Phil ordered, his voice returning to its normal volume, a hint of huskiness still laced in. “I’ll have the profiterole, please, and he’ll have the cherry explosion.”

Pointedly, Phil squeezed Dan’s thigh, and Dan felt like he was on the verge of cracking, on the verge of begging Phil to dine and dash, to skip the club, to go back to their hotel — or fuck it, get a room in this one — and fuck him already. The subtle way Phil took charge, the way he challenged Dan in ways none of his past partners ever had, the way he made Dan feel so bloody taken care of — fuck, it was driving Dan insane.

“Bloody hell, Phil. You’re gonna kill me.”

*****************

“We’re here, babe, you have to get out of the car,” Phil insisted with a giggle. He was standing on the curb, holding the car door open and offering Dan his hand.

“I caaaan’t,” Dan whined, his words slurring together thanks to the full bottle of champagne he’d drank at dinner. He petulantly crossed his arms and stayed firmly planted in his seat.

“This nice man has’ta go pick up his next people, though,” Phil pointed out, flashing an apologetic glance towards the front of the car.

“But Phil, if I get out, then e’ryone’ll see,” Dan grumbled. Phil’s eyes followed Dan’s gesture towards his lap, a saucy smirk quickly pulling at his lips.

Dan’d been half-hard since they’d ordered dessert, and his trousers were still pulling tightly across his crotch, a telling tent forming in the center. Phil had been entirely unhelpful during the ride to the club, alternating between teasing Dan about how easily excitable he was and letting his hand wander up and down Dan’s thigh, not giving him the chance to calm down. They’d both had too much champagne to be discreet about it, and Dan hoped the driver wasn’t too scarred — he hadn’t said anything to reprimand them, at least.

“It’s dark out, no one’ll notice,” Phil argued, threading his hand through Dan’s and tugging gently. The awkward reach across the backseat was enough to unsteady Phil, and he braced himself on the doorframe, wobbling just a bit. “C’mon, as soon as we’re inside, you can get us a seat on the sofas and I’ll get us drinks, okay?”

Dan peered around Phil and saw that there wasn’t a line for the club. Maybe they were early — this was New York after all — or maybe this place really was as fancy as Phil had insinuated. Regardless of the reason, that meant Dan would have to interact with minimal people before he could sit down again. Plus, maybe a few minutes away from Phil would help Dan cool down. Lord knew he needed it.

“Here,” Phil let go of Dan’s hand and shrugged out of his denim jacket, offering it to Dan. “You can hold this in front of you in you want.”

“You’ll be cold, though,” Dan said guiltily.

“Not for long if you hurry up and c’mon!” Phil smiled widely, his tongue peeking out more than usual, and shook the jacket at Dan.

Giving in with a disgruntled grumble, Dan gratefully took Phil’s jacket as he climbed out of the uber, only stumbling a little, which he thought was probably a win given that he was definitely both tipsy and turned on. Dan tried to casually sling the jacket over his arm, aiming for a good boyfriend carrying his partner’s coat vibe, and not horny twenty-something hard because of some light pawing.

Phil’s hand landed on Dan’s lower back, guiding Dan towards the entrance. He dropped his hand as they got close, and reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

He started rifling through, for what Dan wasn’t sure, but the brown-haired bouncer suddenly smiled widely, seeming to recognize Phil, and told him not to worry about it.

Shit — the bouncer! Dan’s drunken and infatuated mind had forgotten that the only reason Phil knew about this place was because he’d fucked the bouncer. Or maybe the bouncer had fucked him. At this point, Dan honestly didn’t know which was worse to think about.

“Well, hey there Phil,” the bouncer greeted, his gaze blatantly raking up and down Phil’s form. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Hi, Oliver,” Phil greeted politely, smiling but keeping his eyes fixed on the other boy’s face. Dan couldn’t help but size up this lad who had slept with Phil; he had chocolate brown hair, curls, and deep eyes — just like Dan. In many ways, looking at this guy was like looking in a warped mirror.

Except for in one very important way.

This guy was built in a way Dan never had been, nor would ever be. His biceps were literally bulging against his sleeves, and Dan could see the sharp outline of defined pectoral muscles under the thin material covering his shirt. Jesus, it was March! Shouldn’t this guy be wearing a jacket or something? Not showing his muscles off to the world?

And rubbing them in Phil’s new boyfriend’s face?

Well aware that he was probably glowering, Dan tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear Oliver telling Phil he looked good tonight.

“I’ll be off at one if you’re free tonight,” the bouncer said as he brushed his hand over Phil’s forearm and offered him a saucy wink. Goddamn, Dan was well familiar with that move, and he wasn’t particularly enjoying watching some random bloke pull it on his boyfriend.

The bouncer’s gaze finally drifted away from Phil, landing on Dan for the first time. Understanding seemed to register in his eyes and his hand dropped. “Although, I’m now realizing that might not be an option anymore…” he added, trailing off.

“Oh, uh,” Phil stuttered, sounding strangled and surprised. His hand reached out and wrapped around Dan’s waist. “Yeah. I mean, no! Not’n option, sorry. This is my boyfriend, Dan.”

“Ah, that’s too bad,” Oliver frowned, disappointed, before offering Dan a cheeky smirk. "You’re lucky. From what I remember your boyfriend sure can ride. He's quite the power bottom, in’it he?"

Dan could feel all the color draining out of his face, could feel how tense his entire body was, could feel his nails digging into the palms of his hands. He was practically shaking — with what, he wasn’t sure. Phil said he’d slept with this guy a year ago. It wasn’t like Dan really had the right to be mad or jealous — they hadn’t even met yet.

But still.

Riding was Dan’s favorite position — he wasn’t keen on imagining Phil doing that with some other guy.

“We’re going in now,” Phil said tersely. “You sure you don’t need a cover?” he added with minimal politeness, cutting in before Dan could say anything. Not that Dan had any idea what he’d say in a moment like this. He reckoned it’d probably start with a choice four letter word, though.

“Nah of course not, it’s always free for you gorgeous,” Oliver replied flirtily, and had the nerve to fucking wink at Phil, even after it became clear Phil was taken. “Feel free to call if you’re ever around again!” His gaze shifted to Dan, dragging over his comparatively lanky body. Dan couldn’t help self consciously adjusting the jacket in front of him, squirming under the lewd scrutiny of this built bouncer. “Or are looking for a third,” Oliver added, this time winking at Dan and deliberately licking his lips.

“He won’t be,” Dan snapped, grabbing Phil’s hand tightly and pulling him into the club as soon as they had permission.

Phil followed willingly, not even attempting to pause and apologize to the guy about Dan’s rude behavior. Not that Dan thought his reaction was unjustified — the asshole had ignored Dan, hit on his boyfriend, and asked for a threesome, all within a five minute window.

Inside, Dan paused for a fraction of a second to appraise his surroundings. The club was dim in a seductive, anonymous way. There were guys everywhere, far more than the lineless entrance had suggested. A long bar lined the back wall, and sofas and low tables created narrow aisles, leaving no room for a dance floor — something that was both surprising and disappointing. Dancing would have been an easy way for Dan to release some of his pent up emotions.

Scanning the room for alternate options, Dan’s eyes caught on a deserted hallway. He pulled Phil down it, not stopping until they were passed the glowing coat check window and as far from the crowd as they could be. Dan’s grip was probably still a little too tight on Phil’s hand, but Phil didn’t complain and didn’t question.

As soon as Dan thought they were alone enough, he spun around on his heel, grabbing Phil by the waist and crowding him up against the wall in one smooth motion. Phil’s jacket fell carelessly from Dan’s grip to the floor as Dan planted his feet on either side of Phil’s, his chest and hips pressed in close.

The position left Phil pinned to the wall, and given the unspoken dynamic that they were both exploring, Dan half expected Phil to flip their positions, to switch places so that Phil was the one pinning Dan to the wall.

Much to Dan’s satisfaction, however, Phil’s only movement was to loop his arms around Dan and pull him closer, hands splayed on Dan’s lower back. That prick outside had gotten under Dan’s skin, and he needed to remind himself that Phil wasn’t with that arse. Dan needed to remember that after months of pining and lusting and yearning, Phil was finally with him and no one else.

“Mine,” Dan growled as he surged forward and captured Phil’s lips with his own. Phil chuckled softly into the kiss, his chest rumbling against Dan’s. Dan could feel Phil’s fingers tracing across his back, could feel Phil’s lips quirking up into a smile. The whole thing reeked of fond and cute, but Dan didn’t want fond and cute right now.

He wanted passionate and possessive.

So Dan didn’t pause, didn’t pull back to let Phil laugh. If anything, he kissed harder; his lips moved urgently against Phil’s and his hands slipped up from Phil’s hips, desperately running over any part of Phil’s chest he could reach without having to step back.

Phil’s lips parted, and Dan didn’t hesitate to slip his tongue in, roughly licking the roof of Phil’s mouth. Not quite battling for dominance, but definitely not letting Dan take complete charge of the kiss either, Phil massaged Dan’s tongue with his own, his hands sliding down to firmly grab Dan’s arse.

The dark hallway, the anonymous club, the foreign city — they all felt like a shelter from the real world, and Dan let himself get lost in kissing and touching and groping. Maybe it was the champagne, or maybe it was the red-hot jealousy coursing through his veins, but Dan didn’t even really care if someone noticed them. Hell, he almost hoped that asshat of a bouncer decided to go on a loo break and saw the way Dan had Phil pushed up against the wall, the way Dan had his tongue down Phil’s throat.

Saw that Phil was Dan’s.

When kissing Phil became too much for Dan’s poor lungs to handle, he pulled back roughly only to immediately latch his lips onto Phil’s neck. Needing to feel Phil in every way he could, Dan rocked his hips forward, grinding their crotches together with a force that made them both groan.

“Mine,” Dan grumbled again, the word vibrating against Phil’s pulse point and pulling a deep moan out of him. He nipped at Phil’s neck, just hard enough for Phil to hiss and tighten his grip on Dan’s arse, his fingers deliciously digging into Dan’s cheeks. “Mine, mine, mine,” Dan repeated before licking over the red spot on Phil’s neck and sucking harshly.

“Of course,” Phil replied, his voice surprisingly full of conviction given how ragged his breath was growing. “All yours, baby.”

Dan slid his hands down Phil’s side, rucking his shirt up and grabbing at the soft, bare skin of Phil’s hips. “I don’t wanna share you with anyone,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s neck as his lips kissed and bit and sucked their way up to the sensitive spot beneath Phil’s ear.

“Good,” Phil huffed, this time his voice lower and more affected. One hand left Dan’s arse to tangle in his curls, pulling back forcefully until their gazes met. “Don’t wanna share you, either.”

Dan moaned, probably far too loudly for the coat check hallway of some club, but he couldn’t help it. He’d always preferred monogamy — for a lot of reasons. Something about monogamy with Phil, though. Fuck, it was so damn hot that Dan found himself getting even more riled up. And, sure, maybe it wasn’t an idea that would make many people horny, but it was turning Dan on — he literally didn’t think Phil could say anything sexier.

Hands groping higher up under Phil’s shirt, Dan crashed their lips together again, unable to resist the urge to grind their hips together again. His involuntary moan was drowned out by a loud wolf-whistle.

“Get some, sexy!” A deep, male voice called out, making Dan’s wandering hands come to an abrupt halt on Phil’s ribs and his breath catch in his throat.

“Fuck,” Dan muttered, tearing away from Phil’s lips and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Dan could feel his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment, could feel Phil’s husky laughter as his head tipped back and thunked against the wall.

Dan wasn’t concerned about the whistling stranger recognizing them, not in the dark shadows of a dim hallway in a fancy club. He was, however, mortified — and unexpectedly a little turned on — at being caught feverishly making out with someone in public, even if it was his boyfriend.

Phil tugged lightly on Dan’s hair, this time lacking the command from earlier, and guided Dan to look at him.

“Drinks?” Phil proposed, his voice ragged in a way that made Dan radiate with satisfaction.

“Yeah,” Dan panted in agreement. “That didn’t help my problem at all, though,” he added quietly. Rocking his hips against Phil’s, Dan let Phil feel the full hardness of his cock. Through their trousers, Dan could tell that Phil’s cock was swollen too, at least halfway, and the friction was absolutely heavenly. Dan had to bite back another moan at the relief that Phil’s hips gave.

“Grab my coat and go find us a sofa. I’ll get us drinks.” Phil’s thumb dragged back and forth, back and forth across Dan’s hip, rendering him speechless and incapable of countering with any other plan, even if a part of him did still want to at least try to pay for something tonight.

“Alright,” Dan mumbled, leaning forward to press his lips to Phil’s one more time before pulling back entirely. Bending down, Dan scooped Phil’s jacket up off the floor and slung it over his arm and in front of his crotch in what he hoped was a casual manner.

Dan let Phil lead the way down the hallway, hovering behind him and taking advantage of the extra coverage while he could. When they reached the main room, Phil gave Dan’s free hand a quick squeeze before they parted ways, Phil bee-lining for the back bar and Dan veering right to find some open seats near the edge of the room.

After a minute of winding, Dan found an empty sofa in a corner of the club. The music was quieter over here, no longer so loud that talking would be impossible. He collapsed onto the cushions and spread Phil’s jacket across his lap. The back of the sofa was low, only coming up to his mid-back — probably to stop people from getting too relaxed and not partaking in the whole club thing. Slouching down so his shoulders were supported, Dan pulled his phone out of his pocket to tell Phil where he was.

The first thing he noticed was the time — almost exactly half past eleven. His interview with Jimmy Fallon would be airing any minute now.

The second thing he noticed was about half a dozen text messages from Louise.

Before he opened her messages, Dan shot Phil a quick text, trying to describe the dark corner he was sat in. Switching over to his conversation with Louise, Dan skimmed over her messages. She’d asked how the recording had gone, what his plans were for the evening, cheekily teased that she hoped Dan wasn’t responding because he was getting laid, and promised to tweet about the show for him — bless her, she really was the best friend and manager he could hope for.

Quickly, Dan typed a quick message back, ignoring most of what she’d said and just updating her on things more generally.

Dan [11:28PM]: taping was good i’m happy with it. i’m sure you’ll see soon. phil and i are out. i’ll ring tomorrow xx

Dan was just hitting send when Phil appeared above him. He shuffled back up into a proper sitting position, tucking his phone back into his pocket. Cocking an eyebrow at Dan’s movement, Phil passed Dan a lowball of something dark and on ice.

“Just Louise,” Dan said as an answer to Phil’s silent question and took a sip of his drink. It was some kind of whiskey, something much more bitter than whatever the blue concoction Phil was holding probably was. Dan was grateful that Phil seemed to remember his drink preferences, even though they’d only ordered cocktails together a small handful of times. He didn’t think he could stomach drinking something as colorful and sugary as Phil’s. “Thanks,” Dan said with a smile and a tip of his glass in Phil’s direction.

“You’re welcome,” Phil replied, twisting slightly to face Dan as his free arm came to rest on the back of the sofa behind him. “Sorry about that, by the way.” Phil pointedly nodded his head back towards the door. “I didn’t think he’d hit on me, especially not with you there. Hell, I didn’t even know if he’d be working.”

Dan shrugged, twisting slightly so that he was facing more towards Phil than the rest of the room. “It’s’not your fault,” Dan said genuinely. “Although, you promised me he wasn’t cuter than me.” Petulantly, Dan huffed and sent a glare in the direction of the entrance.

“And?” Phil chuckled, his hand slipping from the sofa, his fingers grazing along Dan’s ribcage. Something about the way Phil was so casually sprawling across the sofa, the sheer manliness of the position, combined with the gentle drag of his fingers on Dan’s side was fucking attractive. “Tha’bloke is nowhere near as stunning as you,” Phil continued, his voice low and sincere.

Dan stuck his bottom lip out, pouting up at Phil. “Are y’kidding?” Dan whined. “He looked like me, but with actual muscles an’ not limp noodle arms.”

Phil’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. His eyes dragged over Dan, lingering on his arms, his chest. Dan squirmed under Phil’s intense gaze, and he was certain his cheeks were growing red. He slouched down again; Phil was taller than him now, and Dan had to tip his head up to look at him. From this angle, Dan had a perfect view of the red marks blossoming on Phil’s neck, and he felt pride swell deep in his stomach.

“I’ll admit I have a bit of a thing for dark hair an’ pretty eyes,” Phil conceded, a small smirk on his face and humor lacing his voice. Elbow still resting on the back of the sofa, Phil bent his arm so he could run his hand through Dan’s hair, petting sweetly. Dan couldn’t resist just slightly leaning his head back into the touch, silently encouraging Phil to continue his ministrations. Jesus christ, he loved his hair being played with, both in and out of the bedroom. “But the muscles don’t really do anything for me.” Phil shrugged casually, his eyes dropping from Dan’s again to salaciously rake over his body.

“In fact,” Phil continued, his voice suddenly lower, huskier. Sexier. “I prefer that you’re a li’le more narrow ‘n me.” The hand in Dan’s hair slid down. Phil’s fingers lightly traced down the side of Dan’s neck, making Dan’s skin feel on fire and his breath catch in his throat. Phil scooched a little more towards Dan, and the close proximity made Dan have to look up even more. “I like being able’ta wrap you up in my arms.”

Arm wrapped around Dan’s shoulder, Phil pulled him in so that Dan’s shoulder was leaning against Phil’s chest, making Dan feel tiny — and not in the bad way he had a minute ago, when he’d been comparing himself to the fit bouncer out front.

This time, Dan was less subtle about the way he settled into Phil’s embrace. He brought the leg closest to Phil up, and let his knee fall into Phil’s lap. Phil seemed to welcome the new position, his other hand shifting to rest his drink on Dan’s thigh.

In sync, they both took a sip of their cocktails, and Dan found himself completely distracted from the bitter taste as he stared heatedly into Phil’s eyes. Pointedly, Dan flicked his gaze down to Phil’s glass with a challenging spark in his eye, and tipped his own drink back further. It wasn’t until the liquid was half gone that Dan stopped. With a small smirk, Phil followed Dan’s lead, lifting his glass higher and chugging.

Dan couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way Phil’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and god, he wanted to drag his teeth against it, nip and lick Phil’s neck, add to the marks already there. He wanted to make Phil feel good, wanted to chase the sharpness of the whiskey away with the taste of Phil’s skin.

Overcome with the need to kiss Phil right now, Dan nestled his glass by his hip and tugged on Phil’s wrist. Phil clearly got the hint, his eyes twinkling with mirth and his drink lowering to Dan’s leg.

Pulled together like unstoppable magnets, they both leaned in, their lips meeting with heady passion that was likely too much for a nightclub. Phil tasted fruity and sweet, a perfect contrast to the heavy, bitter flavor of whiskey lingering in Dan’s mouth. Their lips moved against each other, Phil’s tongue almost immediately dragging along Dan’s lower lip, practically demanding entrance. Pliant and desperate for anything Phil would give him, Dan parted his lips and let Phil in. Hot desire rushed through Dan’s veins, his arousal only growing when Phil licked behind his teeth.

Dan let himself be kissed, pushing up, up, up into Phil, chasing the overwhelming feeling of Phil. It was so much, and yet not enough.

A sharp tug of Dan’s hair forced him to tip his head back further — and jesus fuck, that was hot. The new angle gave Phil access to Dan’s neck, and his lips worked their way down from Dan’s mouth to his pulse point. Beneath Phil’s mouth, Dan could feel his blood rushing, his heart pounding, and he never wanted this moment to end. The soft scrape of Phil’s teeth on his skin drew a loud moan out of Dan and caused his muscles to go slack.

Wet, cold liquid splashed onto Dan’s thigh, and he tore himself away from Phil’s lips. He looked down, finding his glass tipped precariously to the side. Oops.

Now that their drinks were emptier and the music was louder, any hope of carrying on a proper conversation had slipped away. That was fine — they’d talked plenty at dinner, and there’d be plenty of time for talking later.

Sitting upright, Dan drained the last sips of his whiskey, motioning for Phil to do the same. There were only a few gulps left in Phil’s, and he obediently knocked it back. As soon as the drink was empty, Dan snatched the glass out of Phil’s hand and hurriedly put them both on the table. His movements were careless and clumsy, resulting in one of the glasses almost immediately tipping over and ice spilling out.

Dan ignored the mess — he didn’t particularly care about anything other than Phil right now. Dan swooped back in and pressed his lips to Phil’s, his leg shifting so that he was nearly straddling Phil. Warm, firm hands gripped Dan’s hips, lifting and pulling until Dan was fully in Phil’s lap.

“Fuck,” Dan moaned against Phil’s lips, painfully turned on by the way Phil was fucking manhandling him. Dan wanted more, needed to be closer, so he tangled his hands in Phil’s quiff, bracing his elbows against Phil’s shoulders so that he could lean up and kiss Phil harder. Phil’s hands crept under Dan’s tight jumper, and his nails dug into Dan’s waist, making Dan hyper aware of every single one of Phil’s fingers.

Phil’s touch on Dan’s bare sides was electrifying, and a surge of pleasure shot up Dan’s spine. Needing to do something with the heat that was radiating from every inch of his body, Dan found himself grinding his hips down into Phil’s.

“Yeah, baby,” Phil slurred, pulling roughly and guiding Dan to rock his hips forward again. Phil felt so fucking good beneath Dan, solid, warm, and — jesus — growing hard.

Dan’s cock had calmed down some while Phil had fetched their drinks, but the friction of Phil’s hips, the tease of Phil’s hard on, made it swell in interest again.

Tearing his lips away from Phil’s, Dan latched onto Phil’s neck and sucked hard, hard enough to surely leave another mark. Those could be tomorrow’s problem to worry about. Dan worked his way higher, leaving a trail of wet, open mouthed kisses up Phil’s neck. Phil’s fingers were digging into Dan’s hips, and it was fucking intoxicating — more so than the champagne and whiskey and whatever else they were going to drink could ever be.

“You —” Phil started, his words cut off by a loud gasp as Dan sucked on what must have been a particularly sensitive spot — Dan made a mental note, because he definitely wanted to make Phil do that again. “You look s’good like this,” Phil mumbled.

“Phhhh—” Dan moaned, unable to even get Phil’s name out. The compliment felt like a physical wave of pleasure rushing through Dan’s body, making him feel hot all over. Phil was so fucking right about that whole praise thing.

Dan caught the lobe of Phil’s ear in his mouth, letting his teeth graze over it and his tongue dart out to flick it. Pushing up just a hair, Dan slid his hands from Phil’s hair, down his neck, over his shoulders, and down to his chest. Dan couldn't resist bunching Phil’s shirt in his fists, massaging over Phil’s nipples with his thumbs.

“Good, because when we get back to the hotel room,” Dan whispered into Phil’s ear, “I wanna ride you.”

“Fuck,” Phil cursed, his hand rucking Dan’s jumper up high enough that his fingers stroked the bottom of Dan’s ribcage. “Yeah, okay.”

Surprised at how easily Phil had agreed, Dan pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Wait, really? You’re cool with that being how we fuck tonight?”

“Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan,” Phil mumbled, his hands tracing rough lines up and down the naked skin of Dan’s waist. “You have no idea how sexy you look above me. Trust me, I definitely want to see you like this, filled up with my cock.”

Dan’s cock twitched, and he had to restrain himself from rocking forward again. “Jesus, Phil,” Dan panted, his hands gripping Phil’s shoulders tightly as he tried to hold onto some grain of composure. “You can’t just say shit like that.”

“And why’s that?” Phil teased, his thumbs dragging back and forth across Dan’s ribs, the feeling absolutely heavenly. It was somehow hot and tender at the same time, and Dan wanted more more more.

“You know why, you fucking asshole,” Dan grumbled, leaning back down to kiss along Phil’s neck. Dan was beginning to accept that Phil was right, but that didn’t mean he wanted to actually admit it out loud.

“You ‘n your praise kink make this too fucking easy,” Phil murmured, half panting, half chuckling.

“Don’t take ‘vantage of me,” Dan mumbled jokingly into Phil’s neck, lightly nipping at Phil’s shoulder.

Properly laughing this time, Phil slid his hands down to Dan’s hips and used his leverage to push him back. The momentum forced Dan all the way back to Phil’s knees — something Dan was thoroughly disgruntled about. But then one of Phil’s hands left Dan’s waist and thumbed over his cheek, a soft and fond look on his face, and Dan couldn’t help but melt. He might have been horny and hot, but he was so damn enamoured that the tender gesture affected him just as much as the grinding and wandering hands had.

“If we keep down this path, I’m gonna have a hard time keeping m’hands to myself,” Phil teased, a playful smirk toying at his lips. His other hand dipped into Dan’s jeans and stroked the long, prominent bone of his hip, as if to prove his point. Fuck, just Phi’s fingers on his hip was enough to drive Dan fucking mad, he didn’t know how he was going to manage to get through the night and back to their hotel without losing control.

“How ‘bout we dance for a bit?” Phil proposed suddenly. Shocked and unable to process Phil’s suggestion, Dan snapped his head back and stared down at Phil with bleary eyes, blinking slowly. The fuck?

Dancing? Right, okay. Dan could be up for dancing. But...

Dan glanced over his shoulder at the rest of the club, confused. Just like he remembered, there wasn’t exactly room for dancing anywhere. However, Dan noticed that there were several couples that were making out, feeling each other up, grinding hips desperately together.

“Uh, where?” Dan questioned skeptically. From his quick glance around, it seemed like dancing would actually draw more attention to them than snogging in a dark corner.

“Dance floor. Downstairs,” Phil explained, his head nodding toward the opposite corner. Dan followed the direction of Phil’s nod, noticing a dimly lit staircase for the first time. Of course — a lot of clubs separated sitting areas from dancing areas, Dan’s tipsy brain had just been too out of it to process.

“Sounds good,” Dan mumbled in agreement, dipping down to kiss at Phil’s neck one more time before he had to climb out of Phil’s lap. “We should have somethin’ else t’drink first, though. I’m a rubbish dancer,” he chuckled. It wasn’t entirely true, but Phil didn’t have to know that just yet.

The excuse sounded better than I wanna be drunk and free with you. Plus, maybe Dan’s decent dancing would be a pleasant surprise later.

Phil’s hand slipped out from Dan’s shirt, and ran up his chest. “How ‘bout you take our jackets to the coat check an’ I’ll order us something else t’drink, baby?” Phil suggested, his tone not really leaving room for Dan to argue as his hands dipped under Dan’s leather jacket, carefully shrugging it off his shoulders.

Dan’s jacket caught around his biceps, hanging from his arms in the gayest of fashions and he loved it. He wiggled his knees backwards until he was hovering above Phil’s hips and could easily rest his feet on the floor.

“Alright, let’s go then,” Dan agreed, backing off Phil entirely and holding one hand out to help him off the sofa. Dan was excited to dance, it would give him something a little less slutty to do with all his energy. Grabbing Phil’s jacket, Dan nodded once at Phil before heading back down the deserted hallway from earlier — only now it wasn’t as deserted. Dan passed three couples heatedly kissing before he even got to the coat check booth. But then again, surely snogging in public wasn’t that slutty if this many people were doing it.

Smiling at the employee, Dan dropped Phil’s denim jacket onto the small ledge and shrugged out of his own leather one, not bothering to tuck his phone into his pants pocket before he handed it to the guy across the bar. Tonight was about letting go, and the only person who could really need him had Phil’s number now.

Dan took the coat-check number from the worker, tucking it into his back pocket, and made his way back to the bar. Phil was standing at the far end, twisted around and watching for Dan.

And fuck, he looked good. Sometime while Dan had been gone, Phil had loosened up a little bit. The top four buttons of his shirt were undone, and his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows, and god help Dan because he was pretty sure he was about to come in his fucking pants. Phil looked so goddamn seductive leaning back against the bar like that, his shirt dipping down, his chest peeking out, his forearms taut.

Phil was gorgeous and sexy and so entirely manly — Dan couldn’t get enough.

It wasn’t until he was standing directly in front of Phil that Dan realized that there were no cocktails — no, instead there were two double shots in front of Phil, plus a small plate of lime wedges and a salt shaker. Tequila, then.

“Get ov’r here, mister,” Phil demanded, a smile on his face as he made grabby hands for Dan. Fucking hell, it should be illegal for someone to be so sexy and so cute at the same time. Dan could only handle so much, and his cock and his heart were competing for blood at this point. “I ordered us shots.”

“Shots, huh?” Dan teased, one hand coming to rest on the bar on the outside of Phil’s hip. “A simple drink wasn’t good enough for you, then?”

“I figured neither of us could manage a drink an’ dancing a’the same time.” Phil shrugged with a smile, turning back toward the bar and letting his arse grind into Dan’s hips as he pulled their shots closer to them.

Fuck. Phil really knew how to play Dan.

“Come here,” Phil murmured as he twisted back around, his hands landing on Dan’s hips. In one smooth movement, Phil spun them around and switched their positions. Before Dan could fully process the change, his waist was pressing into the bar and Phil’s crotch was digging into his arse. “Take a shot with me.”

Phil’s voice was deep and gruff, and the scratchiness of it made Dan’s stomach flip over and over in desire. He bloody adored how Phil was taking care of him tonight, somehow perfectly in charge of all of Dan’s needs, intuitively aware of what Dan would find the sexiest and most fun at any given moment.

Dan reached for a tequila shot with one hand, his other grabbing a lime. Realizing his mistake — it was salt, tequila, lime, after all — Dan dropped his lime in favor of reaching for the salt shaker. Phil beat him to it, though, licking a long stripe up his own hand and shaking two small mounds of salt along the line.

“Here,” Phil murmured into Dan’s ear, bringing his hand level with Dan’s mouth.

Not hesitating to check their surroundings or respond, Dan surged forward and sucked the salt off Phil’s hand. Phil moved quickly, his head dipping forward and licking his hand at the same time as Dan, their cheeks pressing together. Simultaneously, they both lifted their shots to their mouths, tipping the tequila down their throat. Behind him, Dan could feel Phil gulp, could feel his neck and his chest and his stomach move as he swallowed the alcohol.

Phil got to the lime first, holding it in front of Dan’s lips. Leaning forward, Dan sucked the lime into his mouth, taking care to drag his lips along Phil’s fingers as well. Soft vibrations rumbled against Dan’s back, and it took his drunken brain a second to realize that they were from Phil moaning.

Phil dropped the lime to the bar and reached for the other wedge, but Dan knocked his hand out of the way. It was his turn.

Grabbing the second wedge, Dan spun around to face Phil. Dan tried his intoxicated best to arrange his face into a seductive look as he held the wedge up to Phil’s mouth and nudged it against his lips. Maybe it was successful, because Dan glanced up at Phil’s eyes and saw that his pupils were wide and dark. He looked hungry, Dan thought, but it wasn’t for the lime.

Regardless, Phil parted his lips and sucked on it, pulling the tips of Dan’s fingers into the wet heat of his mouth, too.

Fucking hell, no wonder Phil had moaned when Dan had done that. Now that Dan’s fingers were in Phil’s mouth, now that Phil’s tongue was licking along his skin, Dan couldn’t help but imagine something else in Phil’s mouth, and — fuck.

Pulling back off the wedge with a loud pop, Phil smirked at Dan, linking their hands together under the bar. “Let’s go dance.”

“Yeah,” Dan agreed, breathless, carelessly dropping the lime back to the plate and letting Phil tug him along. Together, they weaved through the aisles of sofas to the steep staircase leading to the mystery basement.

When they reached the stairs, Phil dropped Dan’s hand, opting to grab the handrail instead. Rightfully so, too. The steps were steep and winding, and Dan was sure that even Sober Him would struggle. Dan followed, holding tight to the railing and sticking close to Phil.

Less than halfway down, the twisting was already fucking with Dan’s drunken head, nearly making him stumble and fall. Luckily, the staircase was narrow and Phil was directly in front of him, so Dan was able to catch himself before he tumbled out of control.

After what seemed like forever, they rounded the last twist and the stairs opened up to a packed dance floor. The music was a million times louder down here, the lights flashing and moving, subtle fog machines trying to make the whole place scream sexy. Everywhere Dan looked, there were men dancing, grinding, kissing. It was the kind of place he hadn’t gotten to indulge in since his late teens, and he was suddenly incredibly eager to embrace the atmosphere.

Stepping around Phil, Dan grabbed Phil by the hand and drug him out to the dance floor. They weaved passed couple after couple until they were packed into the middle of the crowd, disappearing into plain sight thanks to the drunk dancers surrounding them.

Dan spun around to face Phil, alcohol causing the world to blur around the edges. It took a second for Dan’s eyes to focus again, and when they did, he realized that Phil was blatantly checking him out. The way Phil was looking at him, with wide pupils and parted lips, made Dan feel like the sexiest guy in the room — maybe even in all of New York.

“C’mere,” Phil demanded, nearly shouting to be heard over the music. His message was clear though; there was no mistaking what Phil wanted when he grabbed Dan’s hips and pulled him in close. Dan stumbled forward willingly, and he had a feeling he’d walk straight across the threshold to hell if Phil guided him. On instinct, Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck; they were close — so, so close. Their chests were just centimeters apart, their hands spread wide like they were trying to touch as much of each other as they could. Together, they started to move in time to the thumping bass of the music.

Dan giggled, drunk and horny and maybe just a little bit slap-happy.

What? Phil mouthed with furrowed brows and an amused smile.

Dan smiled and stepped closer so he could try to explain; their chests were touching now and Dan could feel Phil dancing. Dan leaned in so that he could yell directly into Phil’s ear. “I feel like I’m back at my year eight dance.” Dan tugged on the hair at the nape of Phil’s neck and pointedly wiggled his hips, hoping Phil would telepathically understand Dan’s logic.

Phil laughed, loud and shameless, with his tongue poking out and his eyes nearly closed. He looked happy and gorgeous and Dan’s heart was beating in a way that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with the minute amount of physical exercise.

Smile still plastered on his face, Phil pulled Dan impossibly closer, causing their hips to crash together, and god Dan loved how their hips felt when they were pressed together. He could have sworn he could feel the outline of Phil’s cock, and it only made him more excited for later.

“Only if you got kicked out,” Phil teased, his hands dropping down to Dan’s arse and squeezing, as if to prove his point. And yeah, that move was definitely forbidden back in year eight. Maybe it was a good thing too, because thirteen-year-old Dan might’ve fucking cum in his pants if someone did that to him then. Fucking hell, twenty-three-year-old Dan was on the verge of doing so, maybe the club should be a little more regulated.

Maybe a touch too late, Dan vehemently shook his head — grinding at dances wasn’t even remotely his life at thirteen. At thirteen, Dan was sexually confused and his only quality friendship was Louise. (Although, four years later, Dan was much less confused and was actively looking for just about anyone who would pop his cherry.)

Now, though, Dan was entirely comfortable with his sexual preferences, even if he did waiver between labels from time to time. At the very least, Dan could say with complete confidence that he was fucking attracted to the man in front of him, and he was fucking hot for the fact that they were surrounded by other gay couples.

And now that Phil’s hands were on his arse, pulling him closer so that their hips, their cocks, rubbed together, Dan couldn’t think about anything else.

So Dan let go. He let the champagne and the whiskey and the tequila take over, let his inhibitions fade away. The music was so loud that Dan could feel it in his soul, the remixed-nineties music just familiar enough to make Dan feel like he knew what he was doing, the added beats just fast enough to make him feel sexy. Hands still tangled around Phil’s neck, Dan pushed his hips forward and rocked them against Phi’s.

His hips moved on their own accord, swaying and grinding and moving in time with the music. Phil moved with him, their crotches rubbing together over and over as remixed versions of TLC, Christina Aguilera, and Destiny’s Child pulsed around them. It was hot, god it was hot. The dance floor was so packed, so anonymous, and Dan couldn’t hold back from closing the fucking microscopic amount of distance between them, kissing Phil over and over again as the night grew later and later.

At some point, Phil twisted Dan around. It came almost out of nowhere — one minute they were grinding together, and the next, Phil was manhandling Dan, shifting their positions so that Phil’s semi-hard cock was rubbing against Dan’s arse, and fucking hell that was hot. Some bassed-up version of Baby Got Back was playing, so loud that the song was almost all-consuming. The sober recesses of Dan’s mind tried to remind him of that scene from Friends, the one where Ross and Rachel sang this to their infant and offended each other, but the drunk and horny parts of Dan were far too focused on the way Phil was grinding into his arse, the way Phil’s hands were sliding further and further down his hips, to properly process anything about the music. Phil rubbed his hands over and over the front of Dan’s hips, pulling him closer and grazing his cock with every pass. Moaning, Dan let his head fall back onto Phil’s shoulder, and Phil’s neck was right there, so of course Dan mouthed along it. The music was too loud to hear much of anything over it, but Dan could feel Phil’s throat vibrate with a moan, could feel Phil’s fingers dig into his hips the slightest bit harder. They were touching everywhere, flushed together from head to toe and Phil felt like Dan’s whole world tonight.

Dan rocked his hips back, soaking up the heady sensation of Phil’s cock rubbing against him, feeling more and more intoxicated off lust than alcohol by the second. Trying not to overthink it, Dan reached behind himself and wrapped his arm around Phil’s neck, his fingers tangling in the short hair at the back of Phil’s head.

The breath was nearly knocked out of Dan when Phil pushed up Dan’s short shirtsleeve with his mouth, and kissed along his inner bicep as he drug his lips up Dan’s arm. Fucking hell, Dan was definitely about to combust and cum on the spot if Phil kept doing that. Phil’s lips latched onto Dan’s arm, sucking and surely leaving a mark and fuck Dan had never been so glad to have worn a short sleeve shirt as he was right now.

Once again, the music shifted, and the iconic first notes of Britney rung out. Within seconds, Dan recognized the song, and given how Phil’s fingers tightened on his hips, he reckoned Phil did, too. And god, he wanted to look at Phil while they danced to this.

Dan tried to twist around, and Phil’s grip loosened just enough to let him move, his fingers dragging deliciously over Dan’s skin as he turned. They readjusted quickly, Dan’s arms wrapping around Phil’s neck and Phil’s hands lowering to grope Dan’s arse.

“Baby, can’t you see,” Dan murmured huskily into Phil’s ear, his tongue darting out to lick Phil’s earlobe. Slowly, sensually, Dan slipped his arms from Phil’s neck and dragged his hands across Phil’s chest. He moved slowly, his fingernails raking across Phil’s shirt, pausing to rub at Phil’s nipples.

“Jesus, babe,” Phil mumbled, the words barely more than a strangled groan. The fingers on Dan’s arse tightened, forcefully pulling until Dan’s hips were grinding against Phil’s. Their cocks rubbed together, and Dan rocked his hips again, desperate to feel and feel and feel.

Phil was half hard, and so was Dan, and the friction was amazing. Pleasure shot through Dan, his cock twitching and a quiet moan tumbling from his lips. Dan couldn’t resist tangling his fingers in Phil’s hair, dragging him just the slightest bit closer, not that there was really much distance left between them.

The music continued to pound around them, and Dan continued to rock his hips forward in time with the beat. He wanted so much, and the grinding was just a small tease. Through the fabric, Dan could feel Phil growing harder and harder, making Dan want more. Heat and desire and lust were building in the pit of Dan’s stomach, and he just fucking wanted.

He wanted to taste Phil’s cock in his mouth. He wanted to feel Phil’s bare cock throbbing against his own. He wanted to be stretched around Phil, full and satisfied.

This song — this song out of all the late-nineties and early-two-thousands songs — fucking got to Dan. And he didn’t think it was fully his fault, it wasn’t like he had a thing for it three months ago. But then, one of the earliest videos he’d watched on AmazingPhil was Phil dancing half naked to this song — there was really no coming back from that.

Dan kissed up Phil’s neck, coming to a stop just a short centimeter from Phil’s ear. “Ya know,” he started huskily. He could feel Phil’s fingers dig into his arse, could see how Phil’s breath hitched. Mischievously, Dan continued, “I jacked off to this video.”

The effect was immediate — Phil froze and inhaled so sharply that Dan could actually hear the gasp over the music. For a second, the world was frozen; it was just Dan staring at Phil, a smug smirk on his face, and Phil staring back, shocked and wide-eyed.

And then Phil’s lips crashed onto Dan’s, moving insistently, hotly, and the world was moving again.

The kiss was merciless, Phil’s tongue immediately licking at Dan’s lips and demanding entrance — not that Dan was complaining. He opened his mouth and let Phil in, let Phil ravage him. Phil’s hands disappeared from Dan’s arse, only to land on his cheeks, firmly holding his head in place so Phil could kiss him harder.

There was no air in Dan’s lungs, and he didn’t give a single fuck. The shortness of breath only made everything hotter, and jesus that was a kink Dan didn’t think he had, but then again, he might find any kink hot if it was with Phil. Phil was so in control, so hungry, so domineering, and Dan couldn’t get enough of it.

Phil pulled back without warning, leaving Dan a panting mess. They were so, so close, and Phil’s eyes were nothing but black pupils. He looked ready to fucking devour Dan, and Dan really hadn’t expected this strong of a response but he was living for it. It was making him feel wanted and sexy.

“We’re going,” Phil snapped, his hands roughly unwinding Dan’s arms from his neck. “Right. Fucking. Now.”

Phil’s words were sharp, making it clear that this wasn’t a request. He sounded like he was on the verge of losing control, looked like he might shove Dan against the nearest wall, and take him right then and there.

Their fingers tangled together and Phil spun around, dragging Dan behind him as he pushed his way through the dancing crowd. It was a good thing Phil was holding Dan so tightly, because he was moving so fast that Dan might have gotten lost if their hands got separated.

Phil didn’t stop moving until they’d made it up the stairs, all the way past the sofas and down the hallway. They came to an abrupt halt in front of the coat check window and — shit, right. Their jackets.

Dan dug through his pockets, searching for the tiny ticket that he’d shoved somewhere. Phil’s heavy stare wasn’t helping, only making him feel more flustered and rushed and desperate to get the fuck out of there already.

“Dan,” Phil said, a hint of reprimand and urgency in his voice that spurred Dan to move faster. His fingers finally closed around the small slip, and he wrangled it out, holding it up triumphantly. Phil ripped the ticket out of Dan’s hand, his only response a single approving nod. Phil slammed it down on the counter, his eyes never once drifting from Dan’s.

The coat check worker chuckled — it was probably perfectly clear what was going on. But even that wasn’t enough to drag Phil’s eyes away from Dan. Dan swallowed thickly, his mouth dry, as he held Phil’s gaze. He couldn’t fucking think with Phil looking at him like that. Struck dumb, Dan licked his lips as he waited to see what would happen next.

Phil’s grip was still tight, and he tugged on Dan’s hand. Drunk and caught off guard, Dan stumbled forward, colliding with Phil.

“You’re so sexy,” Phil whispered, just barely loud enough to be heard. “I can’t wait t’fuck you.”

Dan whimpered, fucking whimpered. Phil was so much filthier than his new videos made him seem, he was dirty in all the right ways. Although, looking back, Dan could see some of this Phil in the much younger Phil that had filmed the Toxic video.

The rustling of their jackets hitting the counter jolted Dan and Phil out of their bubble. Both of their heads snapped to face the window, and Dan could tell his cheeks were probably flushed red. He’d forgotten that there was someone else nearby, that someone else was probably paying proper attention to them.

Phil reached out to pull the bundle of clothes closer, clearly avoiding looking at the coat check person. “Put this on s’we can leave,” Phil ordered, shoving Dan’s leather jacket into his chest.

Dan didn’t need telling twice; he sprung into action and clumsily shrugged into his jacket, his hands getting caught several times. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was thanks to the alcohol or lust, but he didn’t care.

Phil slapped a few bills on the counter and grabbed his own coat.

“Thanks boys,” the clerk said cheerfully. “Have a good night! Don’t forget protection!”

Oh god. Dan felt his cheeks grow hot. He didn’t mind people noticing him and Phil were itching to fuck, but christ, he really didn’t expect a random stranger to actually say it.

Phil grumbled something in response, something Dan didn’t quite hear or process, and guided Dan back down the hallway, one hand firmly pressed against Dan’s lower back.

Hot breath washed over Dan’s ear, and he belatedly realized that Phil was close. “I really don’t wanna use a condom,” Phil muttered into his ear. Dan’s breath hitched, and Phil’s fingers curled around to his sides, not giving him a chance to recover before continuing. “Wanna feel you ‘n fill you up.”

“Fuck,” Dan huffed, his mind not able to think about anything other than Phil’s bare cock pressed into him, pumping cum deep into his arse. “Yeah, please. ‘M clean.”

“Good,” Phil said with a note of finality. He opened the club door and ushered Dan through it. Dan stopped just outside the entrance, hovering and waiting for direction from Phil. Phil stood close, head bowed as he tapped on his phone. Dan looked around them, realizing that there was a line now, and the asshole bouncer from earlier was gone. Must have been after one, then.

“Ugh,” Phil groaned. “There’s a twen’y minute wait for’n uber.”

God that was so much longer than Dan wanted to wait. Brows furrowed, Dan glanced up at the street sign.

“We’re only like seven blocks from the hotel, w’can walk faster,” Dan pointed out.

“How’dya know that?” Phil asked, head snapping up, looking surprised.

Dan pointed to the numbered street sign. “Grid system. Let’s go,” Dan suggested, nodding his head in the right direction.

“Perfect,” Phil mumbled. He grabbed Dan’s hand and started walking. His pace wasn’t quite as fast as earlier, something Dan was rather grateful for. He didn’t think he could walk that quickly for seven blocks and not be too out of breath for sex.

The first block, Phil was still walking faster than normal, though. It wasn’t until they reached the first crosswalk and were forced to stop that they both breathed. The break calmed some of the out-of-control desire coursing through Dan’s veins, dulling it down to a pulsing lust. Dan turned to look at Phil, his eyes surely full of fond desire, a smile definitely pulling at his lips.

Phil bounced on his toes for a second, his movements slowing down when the light didn’t immediately change. Phil glanced at Dan, his heady expression melting slightly into something a bit softer, a bit more gentle. The passion and want were still there, but now there was something else, something sweeter, there too.

Now that they were out of the club, free from the throbbing bass of the music and away from the grinding couples, Dan’s mind felt a little clearer. It was chilly out, not quite cold but definitely cool enough that Dan felt justified leaning into Phil a bit, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder and sticking close. Phil smiled down at him fondly as Dan looked up at him through his lashes. The world around seemed to fade away, and there were butterflies fluttering in Dan’s stomach and god how was Phil so sexy and dominate and sweet all in the span of five minutes, this had to be illegal.

Dan’s eyes snapped away when the crosswalk chimed, and suddenly they were walking again. They weren’t the only ones out — if anything, there seemed to be more people on the streets now. As they made their way back to their hotel, they passed club after club, bar after bar, all with lines of drunk twenty-somethings.

Some sober, less reckless part of Dan warned him that all the people meant a higher chance of getting recognized, but he just didn’t care. He wasn’t about to stop and talk to a fan right now. It was Friday night, and the whole city seemed to be intoxicated, and Dan would just have to hope that everyone else was too drunk to notice him.

They came to stop at another intersection, just barely missing the chance to cross. Dan glanced around, taking in the city surrounding them. There was a group of girls nearby, smoking and drinking something out of brown paper bags. There were a few people outside a pizza place, drunkenly eating slices of pizza off white paper plates as they sat on the curb. There was a couple across the way, fighting loudly about something Dan couldn’t make out.

It was late and crowded and everyone was too focused on themselves to take note of anyone else. It was the kind of crowd that made everyone anonymous. The neon city lights were blurry, and made it hard to see the details of anything — although maybe that part was just Dan.

Regardless, he didn't care.

Phil was so close, so warm by Dan’s side and Dan just wanted more.

“Kiss me,” Dan asked, nearly begged, as he looked back at Phil. His voice was high and nearly breathless, so affected that he probably would have been embarrassed by how fucking needy he sounded if the situation had been different. But as it was, this was Phil, Phil who seemed to instinctively understand every single desire Dan had.

Phil smiled at Dan softly, turning so they were face to face. Without hesitation, Phil closed the distance between them, doing as Dan asked. Phil kissed him slowly but thoroughly, his lips moving languidly, his tongue slipping between Dan’s teeth and licking along the roof of his mouth.

“Mmm,” Dan hummed into Phil’s mouth as he wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck, his elbows resting on Phil’s shoulders, wrists crossed behind his head.

Phil’s lips twitched into the ghost of a smile, but he kept kissing, his arms wrapping around Dan’s waist and pulling him closer.

It was hot — kissing Phil would always be hot — but it was also sweet and maybe even a little romantic. Dan had never kissed someone on the street until Isabella, and in hindsight, everything about those kisses had been for the wrong reasons. This kiss, right now with Phil, wasn’t for pizza eaters or smokers or fighters. This kiss had nothing to do with the audience, and everything to do with the fact that Dan was so fucking head over heels for Phil that Dan couldn’t couldn’t resist kissing him for the two minutes it took for the crosswalk light to change.

At some point, Louise had told him that all of this was so much better when you loved someone, and Dan was realizing how right she was because just kissing had never been this good.

Love.

The word crashed over Dan, suddenly the only thing he could think as he drunkenly kissed his boyfriend in the middle of New York City at two in the morning.

Dan loved Phil.

Dan was one hundred percent, completely and totally in love with the boy kissing him.

Gasping, Dan pulled back from the kiss, his eyes flying open.

“What?” Phil asked breathlessly, a note of urgency in his voice.

“I — nothing.” Dan swallowed thickly, there was no way he could say what he was thinking. Not now, not already. His gaze drifted over Phil’s shoulder and caught on the signal, which was now showing a white walking man. “We can cross now.”

Dan hoped his voice was steady, hoped it wasn’t obvious that his mind was somewhere, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t very subtle. If Phil noticed, though, he didn’t say anything. He just followed Dan into the street, one arm still wrapped around his waist, holding Dan close as they continued walking. Dan leaned into Phil’s side, stumbling slightly and focusing entirely too much on the way Phil’s fingers had dipped under his shirt and were thumbing over his side, and not nearly enough of the sidewalk.

Yeah, Dan was definitely in love with him.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phandom #phan au #barista!phil #singer!dan #au #coffeeshop au #ly #love yourself #ly 32 #iminclinedtowriting #mine

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Two Christmas’ (Alec Volturi x Reader)

You were nervous. You were still working on your relationship with Jane but was disadvantaged since you were romantically involved with Alec. She thought you were taking her brother from her and it especially didn’t go well since you were human. Even Alec himself, had trouble with that sometimes. As of recently things were going well and you didn’t want to ruin that. 

You and Alec made plans for spending some time out of the castle on Christmas day which was tomorrow. Alec wanted Jane to come along since they didn’t like being apart unless they had to. Jane decided to go but they were interrupted by Aro, who offered his opinion. “I don’t believe you should, Jane. Such a day should be spent exclusively with your significant other. I don’t think (Y/N) would appreciate you coming along.” The twins were very disheartened by this so much so that they said nothing else about it. Alec only just telling you. While he was away to meet some nomads on the outskirts of Italy, you saw the opportunity to approach Jane and give her what you had been hiding all along.

You dug into your beside drawer taking out a box about the six of your palm. You’d never be ready so you immediately left, trying not to think too hard on what you were about to do. 

You knocked on the door, hiding the box behind your back and Jane opened it a second later with a skeptical look. “Hi Jane, I was hoping I could talk to you?” “...Very well. Close the door behind you.” Jane turned away and you hurried in, doing as she asked.  “Take a seat.” She gestured to the bed. You complied and she followed suit.  “You’ve been awfully quiet. You’ve been locked away in here for about two days now...are you okay?” “I can assure you, im fine.” She said with a stoic expression. It sounded systematic in how she said it. “Uhm, well, Alec told me-” “What do you have behind your back?” Jane tried to peer behind you but you continued to block her view. “I’ll show you in a second. I just want to talk to you about something first.” You said quickly and she remained quiet. “Alec mentioned that you two were talking about tomorrow.” she hummed in agreement, nodding once.  “He also told me what Aro said.” You didn’t get a response so you continued. “I didn’t think it fair for Aro speak for me. Truth be told, Alec didn’t tell me anything about this until just before he left. So i didn’t know that you coming was even on table but i wanted to tell you in person that I’d be thrilled if you came with us.” Jane seemed taken aback for a second. “But Aro-” “-was wrong, or at least, he wasn’t accurate. Christmas is about spending the time with the people you love and i want to spend it with my family.” “I dont understand.” Jane muttered. “I know you have your judgements about me and i know you think i’m going to snatch your brother and run away but I promise i have no intention. I find it admirable how close you two are, I wouldn’t dream of separating you. It wouldn’t be right if you weren’t there, not just because i know it would dampen Alec’s mood but also because...you’re my sister.”  What really drove it home was you calling Jane your sister. She wouldn’t have believed you otherwise but if you were exceptionally cruel, you wouldn’t have went to such lengths. It made her second guess whether she was really losing her brother or if she was actually gaining someone else. 

“So, um, I got you something, consider it a Christmas present that’s also a peace offering?” You gave her a small smile holding out the black box. “I mean, im not really supposed to give you it until tomorrow and I didn’t get the chance to wrap it or anything but-” You were cut off when Jane gently took the box, looking shocked. “How...when?”  “I have my ways.” You joked lightly. She opened it and stared at it.

Inside was a silver charm bracelet, already including three charms. “I didn’t know what kind of charms you’d like or if you even liked charms so forgive me if you don’t like them.” You scratched behind your neck. One was red with black roses, another glittering gold and the last white and opaque.  “It’s beautiful.” Jane trailed her fingers along it. “Tell me about these...charms.” Jane said quietly.  “Oh well, you can pick your own and have as many as you like. Is your first time seeing them?” Jane nodded. “They look like small pendants.” You smiled. “Do you like it?” You asked and Jane nodded again. “Thank you. I’ve never received a gift for an occasion. Gifts are rare.” “Im glad, i didn’t show Alec to see if you’d like it. I haven’t got him anything or anyone else for that matter." Jane heard something as her head perked up. "Alec's returning. He's coming this way." "Hide that!" You said quickly with excitable glee as Jane quickly put it in her desk drawer and made her way back. 

A minute later, Alec walked through the door. "Im surprised to see you two together." "Yes well-" You spoke up but Jane interrupted you. "We missed you, brother. (Y/N), decided to visit and check on me. It's a sweet gesture, don't you think?" Alec nodded with a soft smile. "I appreciate you looking after my sister whilst I'm gone, cara mia." Alec looked at you before bending down to kiss your forehead. You smiled back at him as he moved to quickly kiss his sister's cheek and sat beside her. Before long he was lying on his back. "Alec, please do not make a mess of my bed." Jane scowled. Alec huffed and Jane lightly shoved his arm. "Jane, you know how to make a bed." "That doesn't mean I enjoy doing it." "We have to do it all the time." Alec muttered and Jane, alarmed, looked to you. "Your brother likes to wrestle. Imagine that, eh? A young guy -however old he is- being fueled with testostero-" Alec rolled over, covering your mouth. "let's go. You've said enough." You groaned. "Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going." Alec hauled you up as you walked back to your shared room. 

He let you go in first, closing the door and wrapping his arms around you from behind. You turned to face him in his arms, wrapping your own around his neck as he smiled at you. “What are you two up to?” Alec’s voice was quiet. “Worried?” You teased. “No, I’m happy to see you both get along but Jane has taken to you rather quickly.” “It’s a start...I gave her a christmas present.” “You did? What did you give her?” Alec seemed surprised. “A charm bracelet, im sure you’ll see it.” “That’s very kind of you cara mia.” “Oh we aren’t done there, my love.” You grinned at him. “Do you remember telling me about your talk with Jane about tomorrow before Aro got involved?” “Of course.” “Well, I told Jane i wouldn’t have it any other way. I insisted that she come with us tomorrow.” “You did?” Alec’s smile vanished, as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You nodded. “Of course I did. She’s your sister. I’m sure she’ll tell you exactly what i sa-” You were interrupted when Alec gave you a kiss before pulling you into a hug.  “Thank you.” You heard him say into your shoulder. 

Christmas day couldn’t have come fast enough. “Now that is a big Christmas tree.” You said gazing up at the huge decorated tree in the town square but also being met with falling snowflakes to the face. You turned to see both Jane and Alec, also looking up at the tree with violet eyes.  “It’s impressive, indeed.” Jane said. All the surrounding stores were shut but the lights on their display windows still on. One particular display window caught your eye. You gasped. “Oh Jane! Come and see this!” You took Jane’s hand and pulled her along, lightly running toward the window. Alec couldn’t help but smile at the sight of seeing the love of his life and his sister, hands interlocked as they rushed ahead. He stayed back admiring the sight before following after you.

You both peered into the window still holding hands. "More charms!" You exclaimed. "Oh, I love that one!" "I like the silver and blue one." Jane smiled. "Where is it?" You looked puzzled unable to locate it. Jane pointed to the charm. It was silver plated and navy blue with a slight shimmer to it, no where near as glittered as Jane's gold charm. "Oh me too!" You nodded profusely. As she lifted her hand to the window, a twinkle caught your eye. There, on her wrist, was the bracelet you got her which you were certain she had been hiding under her sleeve.

Last Christmas had went from uneasy to one of the best. You remembered it well. It didn't take long for Jane to accept you after that. Whilst the twins still preferred to have their own time together. You were included more often and Jane seemed much happier to see you giving you a smile as she would the Masters or Alec.

You bound into the room, Christmas Eve arriving once again. "Why don't you give your love for Christmas!?" You sang out as you enter the room. "Why hello to you too." Demetri turns to look at you with a smile. "So fun fact, I've got you guys presents this year. However...my bestie gets hers before any of you. She's my favourite." You grin handing Jane a small bag. Jane smirks as she opens the small bag to find another three charms, one however was silver and smooth which has her name on it in cursive. The perfect addition.

#twilight #volturi #reader #one shot #oneshot #alec volturi #the volturi #jane volturi #christmas special

[kyber-kisses]

Long Gone . part II

( gif not mine, credit goes to owner)

Steve Rogers x Reader

A/n: I honestly wasn’t expecting people to like this but a bunch of y’all said u wanted a part 2 so here it is.

Warning: um more angst? Sad boi Steve

Summary: with y/n back in the compound Steve’s life is a little brighter, that is until he discovers something that y/n wanted desperately to hide.

   You wished you could give your old friends more information on your whereabouts that past few years, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't remember anything prior to a few months ago.

You groaned as you slowly slipped back into conciousness, a searing pain shooting through your head.You slowly opened your eyes, trying desperalty to observe your surroundings. Your attempt failed when all your vision saw was darkness.The kind of darkness that feels like its swallowing you whole. The kind of darkness that presses in on you and suffocates you. Luckily, being an avenger, you were prepared for almost any situation. That included being chained to a wall in a dark, unknown place. Whoever put you here made the idiotic decision to chain your hands close together. Not much differnce between handcuffs you used each of your hands to ever so quickly dislocate your thumbs, making it easier to slide them out of the metal restraints. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from yelling out. It wasn't fun, but it was effective.

As you quietly rose to your feet, you listened for any sort of noise to indicate whether you were alone or not. With no signs of life you let out a sigh of relief. You needed to find a way out of here. Too afraid to lose the wall, you rested your hands on the cool brick as you let the wall guide you. You continued on into the darkness, not know where it would lead you...

you wrapped your hands around the warm mug of tea Natasha had handed you only moments ago.

“I remember stumbling around in the dark for days. I was so tired and weak. I was so close to giving up. and then I heard it. . .”

Nat crossed her arms, leaning against the counter next to Steve, as they listened to you speak.

“Heard what?”

tearing your eyes away from your tea, you looked up at Steve, whose eyebrows were furrowed together in confusion.

“Your voice Steve. All I heard was my name, but once I heard it I felt an instinct in my gut and I followed it. Not five minutes later I found myself on the streets of Paris. I had been chained up in the catacombs. I still don't know why though...” You trailed off, looking into Steves eyes.

“My voice?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“I know it sounds crazy, and maybe I was hallucinating but I swear I heard you call my name.”

Your friends had welcomed you back with open arms, but you could tell that the snap had taken a toll on them. Steve had filled you in on everything, how nothing ever really went back to normal. How almost everyone grew apart and preferred isolation. Thor spent most of his days locked in a cell in fear of lashing out in anger and hurting the only people left that he cared about. Bruce would lock himself in Tony's lab for days on end, Natasha constantly reminding him to eat and sleep. She had become the mother hen of the remaining members, making sure they didn't cave in on themselves more than they already had.

“You should get some sleep.” Nat spoke up, pushing her self off the counter.”Both of you.” She continued, turning to glare at Steve.

“You know what Romanoff?” Steve countered, looking down at the assassin with an amused expression. For the first time in what you guessed was a very long time, Natasha held a faint smile on her lips as she stalked out of the room.

“She right you know, you really should get some sleep.” Steve walked around the counter to where you stood. “Ill walk you back to your room.”

As the two of you made your way down the dimly lit halls of the compound you found your fingers intertwined with Steves. before you could step into your old room, Steve spoke up.

“You should know, not a day went by where I didn't think about you. I hated myself for never being able to find you.” Steve looked down at the floor, afraid to see how you would react.

“Steve, look at me.” you raised his chin, a gentle smile crossing your face.”Its alright. Its not your job to protect me. You know I can take care of myself.” you pressed your lips against his forehead gently.” Now go get some sleep. Ill see you in the morning.” With that, you quietly retreated into your room, closing the door behind you.

The minute the door shut you took a deep breath, flicking the light switch to illuminate the room. It was in exactly the same shape in which you had left it, except everything had collected a layer of dust, showing just how long you had been away. You shivered, walking over to the thermostat to turn up the heat. The room was freezing and felt nothing like the home it once was.

You put yourself to work, replacing the bedsheets and wiping off the dust from all surfaces. You tried to delay going to sleep for as long as you could, knowing full well that your dreams would be plagued with nightmares. At one point you found yourself in a pair of sweatpants and an old sweatshirt, sitting criss cross on the balcony of your room. The lights that once lit up the yard were off, the only source of light coming from the lamp behind you and the moon which cast shadows across the grass. You closed your eyes as you felt a light breeze blow through your hair. The air still smelled the same though. It smelled like honeysuckle and fresh night air. You didn't know how long you were out there, and you were so lost in thought you didn't hear the door to your room open.

You didnt even flinch when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Now I thought I told you to go to bed?”

Steve.

You couldn't bring yourself to look up at him. Your eyes stayed trained on the dark sky before you.

“I used to love sitting out here. Especially on clear summer nights. Being away from the city, you can see so many more stars. And its quiet. Its peaceful.”

You felt your companion sit down next to you, as well has is eyes on you.

“I dont sleep much now a days.” You continued.” My memories keep coming back. . . but in the form of terrible nightmares. I remember being on the run with you, Nat, and Sam. I remember Being captured and tortured in the catacombs. I remember seeing people turning to ash before my eyes. Its gotten to the point in which I am too scared to sleep.”

Steve wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a sweet embrace.”Try to get some sleep. For me.”he mumbled into your hair. You nodded. You were then surprised by Steve scooping you up in his arms and carrying you back to your bed. As he laid you down on your bed and turned out the light you spoke up. “ You might as well get some sleep too.” moving over, you patted the bed. Steve looked down in surprise.

“Are you sure you want me to stay?”

You smiled.” If you can help me sleep, I’m sure I can help you in return.”

Steve sighed, quietly laying down to face you. You had spent so long away from him, that you couldn't help but curl into his chest, his arms almost immediately wrapping around your frame. His heartbeat was soothing, and you could feel yourself relaxing for the first time in years.

“I’m so glad your back.” He whispered.

“Me too.”

Later on, both of you would admit that was the best nights sleep you had both gotten in a very long time.

Part 3???

#steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #captain america #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #avengers endgame #avengers infinity war #avengers 4