#made myself and my partner Sad talking about Stuff

[kaleidoru]

been working out more of the Ouranos Moons for no particular reason, then this guy gave me Very Sad Brainworms

#anthro #furry #catfish #cat #hybrid #oc: caliban #made myself and my partner Sad talking about Stuff #He has a page on my TH and it definitely needed some trigger warnings :(

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying my family shows favoritism towards my baby cousin?

(This is copied from my Reddit drafts because my partner told me tumblr would be better for this and I trust them)

Okay this is a long one so I’m just gonna throw out fake names for everyone and everyone is white middle class Americans

I, Op, 20M, I’m a trans man not accepted by my family. This is relevant

Renee, 20F, my twin sister

Bea, 16F, my younger sister

Lee, 35F, my aunt on my father’s side

Lucas, 2M, my cousin, son of Lee

Suzie, 5F, my cousin, daughter of Lee

My father, 44M, the patriarch of our whole family

My mother, 45F

Grandpa, 76M, paternal grandpa, previous patriarch

Grandma, 74F, paternal grandma

So I’m sending this in on Christmas Day of 2023. For some context, I still live at home, but it’s more of a roommate situation now that I’m an adult. Renee lives on her out-of-state college campus but visits for holidays, and Bea is still a high schooler. Lee, her children, and her husband who isn’t relevant to this (I love my uncle, we just literally never talk) live across the country. My father is losing the battle with cancer and can’t travel, so we had two separate christmases this year, one with my immediate family and one with Lee. Grandma and Grandpa went to Lee’s, which was awesome for me because that meant I got to avoid them this year!

As the character list above states, I’m (one of) the oldest of the five grandkids with my cousins being born a lot later than me and my sisters. My family is a traditional WASP family and staunchly conservative with Aunt Lee actively being a cop right now while my parents and Grandpa served in the military. Growing up undeniably queer was hilarious, I know. But the family dynamic wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, my family did a good job of trying to hide the fact that Renee was the favorite child lol, but that was more on the basis of her having the same traditional values that they do until Aunt Lee had Suzie, then she obviously became the favorite. Fine by me, she’s an adorable girl and I love spoiling her. Also, ACAB does apply for Aunt Lee for being complacent in this system, it’s not just the most relevant part of the story besides explaining how she fits into the family dynamic

But then Lee had Lucas a few years later and the focus in the family shifted to him. At first, it was baby fever making everyone dote over him (and I’m guilty of this too) but after a while, I realized that the fever hasn’t died down. If we had family reunions, everyone would flock to Lucas and I would be the one watching Suzie. For a toddler, she’s a great conversationalist, but it was still sad to see all her aunts and uncles and cousins showering her baby brother with attention and not her. And then the comments started. That my father would only refer to Lucas as “my nephew” even when talking directly to Lee (unhinged to witness in person). That Grandpa was so happy to finally have a grandson (felt great). The lady-killer comments and guessing what profession he’s gonna go into based on how chubby of a baby he is (the money’s on Linebacker, little dude is built like a truck). Stuff like that

None of these comments were ever made about Suzie when she was born, and I really don’t want to admit that it’s because Lucas is a boy, but thats the only answer I can think of when trying to understand the favoritism. Lucas is showered in gifts and love and while I know newborns need that, Suzie received nowhere near this much attention. Lee’s husband doesn’t go to family functions because he works full time, but I heard Suzie mumble at Thanksgiving last month that she wanted to go home to daddy. It broke my fucking heart, so I called him and she got to FaceTime with my uncle until my phone died

At this point, I’m not even upset that the family ignores my obvious trans-ness as I’m over a year on T (paid for by myself too) in favor of my boy cousin. I’m upset that Suzie is getting left out of the fawning while she’s still super young and she could grow up resenting Lucas because of it.

Anyways, so this morning we opened gifts as an immediate family and I got to FaceTime my significant other as they unboxed their gift from me and we were having a good time until my dad FaceTimes Grandpa. Grandpa answers and Dad immediately asks how his nephew is. Lucas is pushed in front of the phone and all I can hear is asking about how Lucas is, is Lucas talking yet, is Lucas reading yet. I manage to squeeze my head in and ask about Suzie and Lee’s voice off camera says that “oh she’s fine, just snobbish.” Snobbish? A five year old?

And here’s where I’m probably the Asshole. Honestly, I’m looking between ESH and JAH here, but would perfectly understandable if tumblr decides YTA. My response to Lee’s comment was: “well maybe she wouldn’t be if everyone didn’t pick Lucas as the family favorite.”

My dad smacked me upside the head, Renee and Bea got really pissed off, and the FaceTime went quiet until it was cut off and Grandpa called back to talk to Dad privately. Bea called me an asshole and while my Mom got onto her for her language, Mom agreed that I was.

My dad came back from the phone and did the silent point towards his bedroom, y’all with shitty parents know the one. Because I’m twenty fucking years old and pay RENT here, I shook my head, grabbed my keys, and went to go hang out with my significant partner and work friends. We had a great time and I’m currently in the car with my significant other while typing this. I’m gonna spend the night at their place and go back in the morning to see how bad the damage is. My significant other says I was justified in what I said, but two of my work friends (one who’s a Cishet guy who grew up in a similar household and another who’s a new dad with his own son) say that what I said was uncalled for and rude. They explained that I had no right to weaponize Lucas and Suzie like that and I understand that. I’m just tired of Suzie being neglected and, selfishly I know, I’m tired of how my identity is ignored as well

So, tumblr, AITA?

TL;DR, My two year old cousin is the “only” grandson in the family. The family ignores my male identity and my baby cousin’s five year old sister to fawn over the two year old. Am I The Asshole for pointing this out point blank in front of the whole family on Christmas morning?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED BTS FICS OF NOVEMBER 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of november! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Bad Boy || @i-am-baechu🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ Yoongi has been best friends with Namjoon since he was seven. He knew his little sister was always off limits but Yoongi never followed the rules. (we love it when siblings are supportive of them crushes. we gotta give respect to yoongi for not pursuing his crush to not risk his friendship with namjoon. but also props to namjoon for not getting pissed off when they finally got together though.)

Partner Privileges || @7ndipity💕✅💯

↳ (imma need me a man to give me partner privileges like this yoongi right here. like my man yoongi is a whole ass softie. i love it.)

Sharp Teeth || @dearly-somber💕💔🔄💯💯💯

↳ Jungkook—a love struck puppy pining for Y/N’s affection. Y/N—an obvious, hard-headed tsundere too thick to realize a shifter likes her. What could go wrong? (i have a HUUUUUUUUGE soft spot for fantasy fics (mainly werewolf fics and stuff, and i solely blame my 13 year old self watching twilight LOL). like if you are writing a werewofl/hybrid/shifter fic just know that is going to be automatically be in my reading list. when i came across this one, oh lord have mercy. read all of them in one sitting PLUS its still ongoing to. imma have a field day with this one i know it.)

Finding Your Boyfriend Sleeping In Your Hyperfeminine Pink Room || @rrjkive💕✅

↳ (theres no summary, but we just gotta love soft jungkook you know. like with the live of him just sleeping on live is freaking adorable and you can literally picture this big ass man with THAT HELLO KITTY THATS IN HIS LIVING ROOM and the man is just hugging that sht to death while sleeping.)

Five More Minutes || @7ndipity💕✅

↳ Anon Req: "Having to stand up in the morning with yoongi but not wanting to. cuddling and trying to stay in bed as long as possible instead" (i love soft yoongi, in this world, alternative world, ANY WORLD LIKE SOFT YOONGI IS SUPERIOR.)

Was It Better? || @gyukookswhore🔞✅

↳ Jungkook has been acting weird lately in bed, but your not complaining about it or are you ? (you know how it was literally no nut november for fics, well, lets just say that half of these fics on this list is literally smut. that says a lot. aka i clearly did not get the memo since i read mostly smut LOL. but this fic, is so detailed that i could read it again ngl.)

Wonderstruck || @jinkookspencil💕✅

↳ jungkook convinced his fearful girlfriend to try out a rollercoaster at the funfair… (honestly the ask that was sent to op was perfect. like stop this sht is fcking cute. got me giggling in bed kicking my feet and sht.)

Animal Farm || @joonberriess🔞✅

↳ (there was no summary, but holy jesus, this was literally a wild ride. like without reading the tags and tw, but the title alone, i thought this was going to be a lil cute fic about farming you know. BUT NO THIS WAS NOT ABOUT FARMING WHAT SO EVER BUT THIS WAS A WILD WILD RIDE. i say give it a read if you are like me who forgets to read the tags and tw (which is prob not a good thing) but its a suprise everytime i read something.)

Biker!Kook || @lustfuldevils💕✅💯

↳ (there was no summary exactly, but lets just say that im a sucker for biker!kook + reader. whether the reader is like innocent type or just a regular...person??? like personality wise you know. i dont know if that made any sense, but you know what im talking about..hopefully)

Every Little Thing || @7ndipity💔✅💯

↳ When you overhear Yoongi talking about how clingy you’ve been lately, you decide to take a step back from your friendship to give him space. But your sudden absence goes far from unnoticed by him. (i like to torture myself by reading angst that makes me feel sad and sht. honeslty love this one + im pretty sure theres like 3-4 fics from this op on this list. hi just wanted to say that i love your writing.)

Forest Bride || @flowerwrites06🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ The business transaction of a marriage between two previous warring clans takes an unexpected turn. (i love how yoongi automatically became protective over oc while she was slightly closed off due to their past experience. like all hail yoongi.)

Lost & Found || @theharrowing💕💔✅

↳ Taehyung just wants to be left alone. Too bad you need a place to stay. (i honestly love fics where its told from the members pov. like it gives us a chance to read about what they would do and say (even if its fiction you know) like it gives us a different pov then other fics where its mainly through a third-person pov or like the readers pov. love this)

My Alpha || @btsbrat🔞✅💯

↳ you discover that the soon to be alpha, Jungkook, is your destined mate. However, your story takes an unexpected turn when Jungkook rejects the mate bond. (i honestly thought that this fic wouldve been longer, you know just to prolong the rejection and what jk would do, but this pace is also good too. i hope that op makes a longer version where it involves like the in between you know! not that op has to make a longer ver, i also love this ver too!)

Of Storms and Vampires || @wishesunderthestars💕💔🔄💯

↳ During the worst storm you have witnessed in your life, a bat crashes on your window. When you bring it inside your cottage to take care of it, you realize it isn't simply a bat but a baby vampire. Your past has come back to haunt you because Jungkook's sire is no one else but Min Yoongi, who you had left behind when you disappeared five years ago. (this is still currently ongoing but i havent read many vampire!bts fics BUT lets just say, bats be cute and sht but deadly. cant wait to read the future chapters. also this is first chapter isnt rushed or anything so it def caught my reading eye for sure. went at a nice pace, not too fast, not too slow which i love)

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

#bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts vampire au #bts friends to lovers au #bts established relationship au #bts recs #bts fic recs

[bloggingboutburgers]

Am gonna miss the kinda content you had before. I know you’re v happy and good for you! But this blog used to be a rare piece of internet haven that wasn’t about relationships and dating and marriage. Now it is. That’s obviously my problem. I get it - your blog, your life. Am just sad is all.

Sorry if my recent life news made things scary – but I assure you, I don't plan to make my stuff about dating and marriage from now on! (Relationships in itself is a tricky one, since technically "relationships" is every single type of rapport a human being can have with another imo, but I don't plan to start talking about romantic relationships either, I have no idea how those work.)

Yeah, I'm planning to get married – but not with a romantic partner, with my queerplatonic partner. Considering the nature of our relationship I myself sometimes have trouble even saying we're "dating" because it's something different (though we do call our video call "dates", I'll give ya that). But even if they're not "my whole life" in a romantic sense, I really like spending time with them, we're oceans apart so we don't get to do so very often, and during and after the pandemic, the US placed a ban on my country that made it near-impossible for me to visit them for almost 2 years, and being scared of never being able to spend time with them again broke my brain really bad, so I vowed to take measures so this never happens again. So yeah, i'm planning to get married, but it's more out of necessity, as this is seemingly the only way we could stay in the same area permanently and the only way we could counter a travel ban like that if it happens again for any reason (as only spouses or direct relatives were allowed to visit each other back then). I hate that it means doing the thing© amatonormativity and archaic socail rules seem to push people to do all the time, but international rules are a bitch like that, so we don't have many more other options.

That said – my content already included stuff I do with my partner before, and our relationship isn't changing because we're engaged – we're still never gonna have sex, and I'm still not romantically attracted to them nor have I ever been. But I do like them a lot as a queerplatonic partner, and I wanna vibe the way I show us vibing and get to do so on a daily basis, not every 6 to 9 months and breaking bank every time I do.

So... Yeah, despite the surface value of the whole thing, I don't think being engaged makes me a counter-example. If anything I guess we'll be rep for a queerplatonic relationship that involves marriage, and we'll see how that works (if our respective governments even LET us get married at all). My views on my sexual and romantic orientations haven't changed and I don't intend to change my content any time soon. I'll keep being annoying to everyone about how the world doesn't need sex and romance for a long time if people will have me, cus I have way too much of a chip on my shoulder not to.

#anon #asexual #aromantic #aroace #yep i figured getting engaged would be a doozie cus there would be conclusions #guess i'll have to think of a proper digestible way to elaborate on that so people don't think i've gone allo #no offense to allos but me? over my dead body i'd go allo

[fandomfucker]

Can I plss have poly! judgement day x fem reader with the prompt "We can't see all of our scars" after they see her scars from an accident (no self harm)

Warnings: talk of scars and past injuries

Also I'm really sorry this one sucks

Word count: 808

When I was about 16 years old I had been in an almost fatal car accident. Luckily, no one died but I was in the hospital for the next four days after suffering from a fractured rib.

Because of that, I had a rather unnoticeable scar down the center of my sternum. It went from the bottom of my cleavage to the top, just right between my breasts.

Usually, it was covered by my clothes so I never really thought about it all that much.

Typically, I forgot it was even there. Unless someone else brought it up.

Now in my mid-twenties, I was a wrestler along with my four wonderful partners. I had just won my match against Asuka but was covered in her blue-green mist.

So now, in the Judgment Day's personal locker room, I was stripping off all my clothes to be washed before I made my way into the connecting bathroom to shower.

Finally getting off enough of the most to satisfy my need to be clean, but still slightly stained blue, I stepped out of the shower. And immediately remembered that I had forgotten to grab literally anything.

No towel or clothes anywhere in the bathroom, I made the executive decision to just walk out into the locker room naked. After all, it was only my partners that would be in there if they were even in there yet.

Opening the door, steam seeped out into the other room as I padded over to the couch where I had left all my stuff.

As I walked out I made eye contact with all four of my partners, sending them all a wink as I walked past, making sure to sway my hips a bit.

I grabbed my personal towel, underwear, one of Rhea's t-shirts, and a pair of Dominik's sweatpants out of my duffel before turning around to head back to the bathroom.

I turned around and started walking before noticing that all four of my partners were staring at me. And not in a good way.

"What?" I asked them nervously. They were starting to scare me.

"Nothing, Love. It's just that..." Finn trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. He was still staring at me with wide eyes which freaked me out.

I turned to Rhea, the typical voice of reason, questioning her with my eyes.

"We didn't know you had a scar there," She whispered, pointing to my chest.

"Oh," I mumbled. They probably thought it was disgusting and leave me like my last partner had.

My lip started to tremble and I could feel my eyes begin to burn and hurriedly made my way back into the bathroom, narrowly dodging Dom's hand reaching for me.

I locked the door behind me and tried to take some deep breaths as the tears began flowing.

"Y/n? Open the door, Honey." Damian's deep voice came through from the other side of the door.

"No," I managed to choke out through my tears as I continued to dry myself off before starting to slip my clothes on.

Deciding that the top I had grabbed was too low cut, I just wrapped the towel around my upper body, shielding my scar from view.

Now wearing my black cargo pants and a bra with a towel around my chest, I took a deep breath and wiped off what tears I could before swinging open the door to go and grab a t-shirt that covered my chest.

I was met with the four sad faces of my partners. Their faces broke even further as they beheld my own puffy tear-streaked face.

I tried to sidestep them but was blocked by Finn's body. "Love, just cause we can't see all of our scars doesn't mean that we love you any less for having them." He rubbed his hands up and down my arms as he held me.

I crumbled into his arms, sobbing again. "I-I thought you'd all hate me."

"Hey hey hey, we'd never hate you." Rhea consoled me, stroking my hair. "It just took us by surprise is all."

"We all love you and your scars, Hermosa,” Dominik told me softly, coming to rub his thumb along my neck and up to my jaw.

I pulled back from Finn to look them all in the eyes, seeing their sincerity. I smiled softly as Damian wiped away my tears.

“We have scars too, Y/n, they don't make you any less worthy of our love,” Rhea told me, bending down to remove my towel and kiss the scar between my breasts.

Another tear fell which Damian again wiped away as Dom went and grabbed one of his t-shirts for me to wear as we gathered our belongings and went home after another successful night of kicking ass.

#rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #the judgement day #the judgement day x reader #tjd x reader #dominik mysterio #dominik mysterio x reader #poly!judgement day #wwe #wwe raw #finn balor #finn balor x reader #damian priest #damian priest x reader

[pinejayy]

I have a request. May I get Douma, Gyokko and Enmu with a demon s/o who's blood demon art is increasing the power of other demons and they're salty that they have a lame bda that they can't use on their own while their partner has a cool bda.

sure thing!! I hope you enjoy this! uwu

Douma, Gyokko and Enmu with s/o who's salty about their Blood Demon Art

Douma

Honestly Douma would appreciate it, you're like a life saver for him and he can use you. Honestly the Upper Moon would take full advantage you. Yes Douma 'loves' you but he's a ruthless demon and when there's something he can use and take advantage of, he will.

And you get salty that you don't have a cool Blood Demon Art like the other demons you've met. Like your BDA benefits others and not you. How unfair!

Douma always loves taking you to his missions, just in case. Which you don't like because he could just use you..but your lover assures you that he doesn't use you. He does, he dose use you.

Whenever you do use you BDA he's like "Wow thanks for the aid sweetheart. I might treat you good later on."

Douma makes sure that he's not 'using' you, he loves to guilt trip you. Like for example he would tell you stuff like "Aw come on sweetheart use your Blood Demon Art! You know how much I love it!" and also "Aw why won't you come with me to my mission? What if I need your help? Are you really going to let me get hurt?"

And of course you always give in, Douma always gets what he wants.. he knows how to use his words. A lot of guilt tripping..

DOUMA WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU! And he doesn't care if he hurts your feelings. You're a Demon now and Demons don't have so called feelings so suck it up.

Gyokko

He would be pretty rude about it, like he would make fun of you sorry- "Wow you're telling me that your own Blood Demon Art isn't useful towards you, wow that's sad." And he would also tell you stuff like this. "Aw don't be sad my work of art, you are useful..to me."

He loves teasing you, but deep down he's impressed by your BDA but of course he won't tell you. You could be really useful to the other Demons and especially to Lord Muzan, so Gyokko is extra protective of you. He doesn't need other demons knowing about your power.

He won't let any other Demon take advantage of you! And whenever you do go on missions he'll keep an eye out for you. He can't let his work of art get hurt or killed by a Demon Slayer.

Whenever you two go on missions together he'll protect you so hard which could annoy you. "I know my Blood Demon Art doesn't help me out but I can handle myself."

Whenever you do use your BDA around him he feels grateful, and he appreciate it so much that he'll praise you so hard.

"Wow thank you for the help my work of art! I really do appreciate it...Maybe your Blood Demon Art is quite useful."

He won't take advantage of you but he would appreciate it if you did give that boost of power but not all of the time he doesn't wanna seem to weak for you.

Enmu

This Demon boy would be the nicest from all of them, he'll praise you! He's gonna tell you nothing but sweet stuff and compliments Like- "Wow Sweetheart! Muzan would be so proud of you." or "Shh don't cry my Love, your Blood Demon Art isn't useless. You're so useful."

Whenever you are upset he'll give you kisses all over your face and assure you that he loves your Blood Demon Art. Please don't talk bad about yourself you will make him upset. He loves you so much!

The first time you guys were on a mission and you used your Blood Demon Art he was so impressed. You are willing to help him out? It just makes his love for you grow even more.

"Wow sweetheart that was impressive! Thank you for the help...without you I don't think I would have made it out alive." and he would treat you to a special date.

If anyone tries to take advantage of you or force you to use your BDA on them he'll do everything in his power to kill them and he doesn't care if it's an Upper Moon, no one and I mean NO ONE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU!

He's just a sweet boy towards you and he's so lucky to have you by his side, and with you by his side he'll grow stronger and hopefully become a Upper Moon some day.

He makes sure that you're always happy! Never say anything bad about yourself! BUT HE'LL NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. And when you do use your Blood Demon Art for him to help him out he'll give to a sweet reward. uwu

#demon slayer enmu #enmu #x reader #reader insert #douma #douma x reader #headcanons #demon slayer #gyokko #gyokko x reader #kny

[melon-wing]

Not-So-Secret Soulmates [Scar/Grian]

[[FANFICTION MASTERLIST]]

Grian stood at the small grave, looking at the name with a pained expression. His heart ached for the friend he had just lost, even when he knew it wouldn’t be forever. He hadn’t meant to kill Bigb. He had managed to convince himself they were secret soulmates so much that he had forgotten Bigb had still been connected to Ren after all. He probably wouldn’t have built that trap otherwise. Or maybe he would have done it, but he would have apologised to Bigb before they had perished. This way he had actually celebrated his secret soulmate’s death, indirectly, but still. He had cheered. 

Grian almost felt as if arms were embracing him and he wondered if that was really the case. He remembered being a ghost last time. He had still been able to stay in that world and while he had just watched, maybe soft touches were possible. Him and Scar had been able to hear the shouts of the dead in their first game after all. Sometimes the wall between the dead and the living got thinner as emotions ran high. 

“I’m so sorry, B. I didn’t mean to kill you. I wished things could have been different. I really… I really wanted to be with you”, he whispered into the cold night air.

“You wanted him to be your soulmate instead of me, didn’t you?”

Grian jumped, whipping around so quickly he almost fell, the feeling of the soft embrace immediately disappearing as a cold shiver ran down his back. How hadn’t he heard Scar walk up to him? It was so unlike him to not pay attention and Scar usually wasn’t one to hide his presence well enough. It took him a moment to overcome the shock to realise Scar was still waiting for an answer, his eyes looking deep into his and it was as if he was pulled into these brown pools filled with uncertainty and sadness.

“Yes. I wanted him to be my soulmate. He was the one I was disappointed about most when we discovered he wasn’t my soulmate.”

Scar let out a small laugh, but there was no joy in it, it sounded so hollow.

“I mean… I knew that. Why am I even surprised? I just never thought you’d admit it just like that. But yeah, it’s true. Nobody would have been happy having me as a partner. I’m irresponsible, I mess up stuff and I don’t think before jumping into action. I’m the worst at this and anyone would have been better. I’m a walking, talking catastrophe.”

Grian could see something breaking inside Scar as his voice reached a higher pitch as he spoke, cracking every now and again, his words making him spiral downwards even more. 

“Scar-”

“No. Don’t you dare deny it now. You know it’s true! I pretended I didn’t hear you scream when you found out. I pretended it was something else that made you this upset, but I knew. I knew we were soulmates before you did. I knew the moment I stepped foot into this weird world. Because how could it ever be anybody else other than you?”, Scar ranted on, a shaking hand pushing his hair from his forehead as he looked at Grian, his eyes a mixture of sadness and madness. He was losing it quickly and Grian was too overwhelmed to know what to say to him. “Scar, please…”

Scar just shook his head, eyes moving from Grian to the grave behind him. “I thought this time we could win together. Me and you until the end. This time we wouldn’t have to fight to death. I didn’t want to see you cry again like last time. It was so hard to keep pretending then and not just hug you. I promised myself to protect you.”

“Wait… pretend?”

The glint of madness seemed to disappear and Scar smiled softly, but still so sad as he recalled the memories of their first game. “Grian. I’m not that bad at fistfighting. I’m a clutz, but even I don’t stumble that often and fall face first into a cactus. I didn’t want to hurt you. I let you win. Had I known you’d cry over my dying body like that I would have just accidentally fallen into a ravine before we ever reached that damn ring of death.”

Grian only stared at him, thinking back to their encounter in the desert, not trying to linger too long on the memory of the screams and blood. Now that Scar had said it, it seemed so obvious. Not even Scar was that much of an idiot when something was important to him. Apparently winning had never been important to him.

“I- Thank you, I think?”

Scar just shook his head and Grian was pretty sure getting gratitude wasn’t the reason he had brought it up.

“It’s in the past now. We were a great team back then. Not so much anymore. What happened to us, G? I thought you enjoyed being with me, even if I can be an irresponsible buffoon sometimes. We hang out all the time on Hermitcraft. We have lots of fun together, don’t we? Why do you hate being my soulmate so much that you want to team up with someone else?”

Grian pressed his lips together, glancing everywhere but at Scar’s face. He hadn’t known his attitude would hurt Scar this much and he knew he owed his partner an explanation, but he had a hard time admitting it out loud, when he had only ever told Bigb about the way he felt.

“I didn’t want to be the one to kill you again”, Grian finally whispered, looking up from uncertain eyes at Scar who seemed slightly shocked at his confession. “If you weren’t my soulmate I could have tried to do the same thing I did last time: Stay as far away from you as possible and make sure we’re not on the same or on opposing teams. I know this is a game and I know we all respawn… But I didn’t know back then. The first time. I thought I had killed you. And I couldn’t… I couldn’t fight you again. A piece of me broke that day, Scar, and I have been unable to repair it.”

“What?” Scar just gasped out, looking at him as if he was processing those words for a moment and then a bit of the sadness disappeared and he seemed less lonely and broken as a hopeful glimmer appeared. “So you teaming up with Bigb…?”

“He was helping me, Scar. We spent so much time together because he’s one of my best friends and he knows me. And I tried to replace you with him and I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would hurt you this much. It’s not that I don’t like you… I like you too much.”

Scar seemed to stop, all thoughts coming to an abrupt halt as his wide eyes looked straight into Grian’s. And then suddenly his cheeks started to turn pink as his shocked expression morphed into a small shy smile. It was an expression that made Grian’s heart race faster again. It was funny how the smallest of changes on Scar’s face could make him react like this.

Scar finally stepped up, taking a hold of Grian’s hand. “You don’t have to do this. Keeping your distance. I promise I’ll make sure nothing happens to you. We don’t have to fight and even if we die”, Scar took the hand to his lips, kissing it softly, looking up from the hand at Grian, “We’ll be right back together. I will be there when you wake up on Hermitcraft. We’ll be together. This is not real, Grian. We aren’t dying.”

“I know…”, Grian whispered, looking at Scar, those bright green eyes looking at him from beneath long eyelashes. “I just. I’m scared. What if I make enemies and you die because of me? What if I stumble and fall? What if some mob gets to me?”

Scar just shrugged, smiling fully now as he lowered Grian’s hand once more. “Grian. Do I look like someone who thinks he could win this? I cost you two lives already. So if you stumble, I’ll just have to catch you and put you back on your feet again. And if we die, I’ll be happy knowing we did our best together as a team. And once this is over we can be together without worrying. Back home.”

Grian smiled back at Scar. He just couldn’t help it. Seeing that smile was always too infectious. There was still a deep worry inside him, but yet he felt calm as well. Yeah, he might die and hurt Scar. But Scar wouldn’t mind. Scar would still be there waiting for him once he woke up again. Scar lifted his free hand up, letting it rest softly on Grian’s cheek and Grian leaned into the warmth of that touch, closing his eyes for a moment, allowing his constantly racing mind to slow down for the first time since this game had started. When he opened his eyes, all he could see and think of was Scar. Scar with his soft locks and bright smile. And with those deep eyes that looked at him with so much affection. It was truly a miracle he hadn’t suspected before that his feelings weren't one sided. “Promise me, Scar… Promise you’ll stay by my side. Don’t sacrifice yourself for me this time.”

Scar smiled and nodded.

“You’re not alone. Not in this world and not in the next.”

And as they both leaned forward their lips touched to seal the promise and Grian could feel a spark running through his whole body and he just knew that even if they didn’t win, he had gotten everything he ever wanted in this miserable world. He had found something precious that would stay far longer than the time they’d spend here. He had finally found love.

#🍉 stories #hermitship #scarian #It's nanowrimo and I come back to life #I still have the requests from last year saved and will work on some #I also plan to expand on the pirate au and turn it into a full story instead of oneshots #thanks to every follower that stuck around through all the breaks I take

[imhidingonceagain]

I'm honestly amazed by the way Minecraft servers (specifically the QSMP) work.

I've been watching YouTubers/streamers for so many years (more than 10 I would say) because even though I'm not an active player I'm someone who enjoys watching gameplays. However Minecraft was something that never caught my attention even when my favorite content creators (Rubius, for example) played.

But last year I met Alex Quackity and honestly I fell in love with his personality and also with the fact that he's Mexican like me (and other stuff that makes me relate to him) and I decided to support the stuff he does.

That's how I found myself regularly watching Minecraft streams for the first time and since QSMP seems to be very role based I'm amazed by how everything works.

I'm amazed by the way the creators actually put effort into making storylines for their characters and I'm even more amazed by the fact that viewers speak about the characters as if they were real people (I have to admit that I've become one of those people too).

People talking about Philza's family or Wilbur being a good dad.

I've seen people speak on Mariana, Slime and Foolish's relationship and criticize their behaviors (I saw someone speaking about Mariana sincerely asking for Foolish 's help the day of the court case and the way Q!F rejection was something that made Q!M finally snap and leave Foolish for good).

The other day I saw a post where people were talking about the different family dynamics of the characters.

I've seen posts about Quackity and how he never seems to find a romantic partner to be in a healthy relationship and how it's sad that he's such an unstable person.

I don't know, It's kinda funny how we seem to analyze their behaviors as if they were real.

It's a very interesting phenomenon and that's why I'm not surprised by the way the Content creators themselves seem to be attached to the eggs.

And as someone who enjoys analyzing narratives I feel awesome in this new community haha

(English is not my first language, I'm sorry if something seems off)

#QSMP #quackity #Wilbur #philza #elmariana #slimecicle #foolish #slimeriana #fooriana #minecraft #mcyt

[theindescribable1]

Getting Better!

Tw: A vent

. . . But with a happy ending!

((LONG LONG READ...eat some popcorn while you're reading. Idk, uhh enjoy? I cried writing this so it might be sad))

BUT WITH A HAPPY ENDINGGG!

The Bad Stuff:

If you've known me for a while, you'd know that I have been dealing with some rather intense depression and anxiety. I spent a good chunk of my young childhood feeling down and sad all day, I had trouble sleeping, I had issues. I kept all my feelings bottled up for years, it only made me feel angry and I was rude to people I loved. I spent most of my days alone in my room, never wanting to be around my family. I think my depression started getting worse when I was 8 or so? My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor, she had cancer. I thought she'd die, I was so scared and in so much sorrow. My parents brushed my aside for a few years while my sister battled cancer. I wasn't really a main priority, I felt like I didn't matter anymore. Everything started to be all about my sister, I felt more alone then ever. My parents spent all day with my sister, treating me almost like I didn't matter for the time being. After my sister successfully beat Cancer, it felt like things were never fair for me. She never got in trouble, I always got the blame for things, she never really had to work or do any chores, but I did. It all just felt like favoritism. It made me feel less loved, less respected, and I just couldn't tell my parents how I was feeling. I felt a hate towards my parents, they didn't find ways to praise me, or give me a simple "good job" I just wanted some slight praise, someone to tell me I'm doing good. It seemed as if my parents never cared for the good I did, but they cared when I got something wrong. They scolded me for doing something wrong, it made me feel as if I had to be perfect, as if I couldn't make a single mistake. I believed that I didn't matter to them, I believed that no one would miss me when I'm gone. That's when the suicidal thoughts came in, I would think to myself; "I am unloved, what's the point of even trying? Carrying on in a world where I just don't matter.." And I would see myself committing acts of suicide, I thought about what would happen. What just made things worse was how hard I found it to make friends, it seemed like no one gave me a chance. Every school I went to, I was always made the subject of fun. I never did anything to deserve it! I did nothing wrong! Why was it always me? Why did everybody just naturally hate me? I was left out if every single friend group, I was never included in projects, I never had a partner to work with, I was always the last one picked to be in a team, everyone always just treated me like dirt. I just wanted to die, for so long I just wanted to leave this unfair and cruel planet. I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. I was always so stressed, lonely, keeping everything bottled up, telling everyone that I was ok. Keeping everything to myself just gave me headaches, anxiety, stress, anger, and I just couldn't keep my anger to myself. It was becoming more and more difficult. School has always been so difficult for me, bullies, crappy teachers, and I never understood what they were teaching. The entire class was always ahead of me, I never knew how to do anything! I felt so stupid and I had no one to ask for help, I procrastinated every single thing... so many thoughts ran through my head; "I'm so stupid. I'm a loser. No one loves me. I have no friends. Everyone just hates me. Why me why me why me? I just don't want to be here anymore..." All my life up to now, I have always been brushed aside and left with my fake smile. I tried to talk to my parents about what is happening with me, but the first time I tried my mom said; "You don't have depression. You really don't! Just because you feel sad ONCE doesn't mean you're depressed! Look at all that you have! You have nothing to be sad about." It doesn't matter what I have, it matters how I feel! I felt sad and lonely all the time, all day, all night. I was scared to tell my parents again because I just thought they'd brush it aside as me just being "dramatic" and on top off aaaalll of this, my grandpa died and it caused lots of pain.

Things Start Getting Brighter:

I was at a doctor's appointment when I decided that I'd try again... I explained everything to my mom and she started to cry and gave me a big hug. She told me that she'll sign me up for a therapist! That's when I saw hope, a light at the end of a long dark tunnel. I thought to myself; "I'll get better...I'm going to be healed. I'm going to be ok. I'm finally help." After that day, my family started spending time with me, they came into my room more and gave me love. I felt happier, but still not cured- eventually I went in to the first session of counseling! My dad sat next to me for the first couple minutes while the counselor talked to him, I heard him say at one point that he was proud of me, and I couldn't hold back tears. Its because I don't hear those words much...I feel as if no one ever tells me that they are proud of me. . After my dad left, I immediately started to blurt out EVERYTHING. I just went off telling the counselor all the past things, I burst out into tears. I let everything out of the bottle. She could almost immediately diagnose me with some rather intense depression. She gave me advice, things to do, and since then I got a bit better..

So Close To Happiness:

I started to work on loving myself, treating myself to good things! I talked to myself positively! Then I decided I should restore bonds with my family but starting some family game nights and movie nights! Me and my family would play some games together on Wednesday, and movies on Friday! As of right now, I'm in a D & D campaign with my family, uncle, and my uncle's friend! Its going great so far, I'm having fun! I'm getting much closer to my family, I feel loved! I feel appreciated! My family plain as day care about me. I love them, they love me. And I started socializing more, I talked to more people, made a friend group, and I began to hang out with more family outside of my main family of 4. I talked to my cousins more often and got much closer to Carol! I had an online friend who I liked to call Goblin, and we decided to meet in real life. Once they gave me their address, I realized. . .We're neighbors!!!?? We lived in the same neighborhood, so I ran over to their house and they ran out the door, we greeted each other in a fit of laughter. We were online friends for 2 or so years and never knew we were 3 or so minutes away from each other! They are also know as The GGT is that's familiar to you! I was less of an introvert, I had more fun, more friends, many more happy memories! Oh and it got great when I got a lil app called Tumblr. I socialized even more and started getting to doing art! I had a goal, to be popular, to ve somebody of slight importance... well I've just got to say. . Thank you for over 700 followers! I love you all so much and you made my dreams come true! You are all my motivation, my reason to keep on going, my great friends! All of youuuu! I love you all so much! And to this day, I haven't felt really sad, alone, unhappy, I haven't thought about ending my life, in fact...I WANT to live, I want to keep on waking up. I want to continue to see the sun everyday, I want to continue on! I don't want to leave, life is beautiful to me now, I see the good in it all, I know that God has good plans for me, and I will wait for paradise, not skip right to it. I want to live every second of my life, I want to continue to love, laugh, smile, and be will those who love me. I want to accomplish my dreams, to have a good life with many memories.

I love you all, and if you are dealing with some bad things, just remember that there is always someone to talk to, to love you, to understand you.. And I'm one of those! You can talk to me, I'll understand you, and I will always do whatever I can to help you. Live your life, its beautiful...I used to see it has painful, lonely, unfair, dark, and depressing...but truly it isn't. Life is beautiful, and so are all of you.

Stay alive, I love you. I love you all.

#Vent #happy ending #Getting better #i love you all #stay alive #you matter #you are all so beautiful #overcoming trauma #overcoming depression

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

#aspec #aroace #acespec #arospec #asexuality #aromanticism #asexual #lgbtqia #queer #i sure hope this will be the last part but i guarantee for nothing

[george-weasleys-girl]

Hello sweets

Can I get a George Weasley x tall reader (I'm 5'10) like it's sad I won't have to ask my boyfriend to get stuff for me like all these girls in the fic because I just can get it myself

Have a nice day ahead

This story was, in part, inspired by this scene from the movie Big Fish.

You were so focused on cooking that you didn't hear George sneak up behind you until he wrapped one arm around your waist and used the other to grab the bottle of olive oil from the top shelf that you could more than easily reach.

"You know I can it get myself," you teased.

George shrugged. "I know, but it always makes you smile. And I love when you smile," he said as he began to nibble on your ear. "Besides, it's also a great way to get you all hot and bothered."

You rolled your eyes but still leaned into his soft kisses that were now trailing down your neck. "Georgie, our dinner guests will be here any minute," you reminded him.

"No fair. You never let me any fun," he whined, just before he blew a raspberry on your cheek, making you scream.

~•~

Tonight was important. You were having several entrepreneurs over to dinner to discuss the possibility of expanding Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes stores to other countries.

But before business, there was always small talk. And if there was ever an opportunity for George to tell the story of how the two of you met, he was going to take it. You knew tonight would be no different. Even Fred, who used to roll his eyes every time his twin would tell the story, now encouraged him because no matter how curmudgeon or cynical the listener might be, the tale always managed to charm them. It was a great way to break the ice with potential business partners and new clients.

"I swear, if my wife wasn't so tall, we would've never met," George began. "The first time I saw her was at this house party that was being thrown by a friend of Fred's girlfriend. There had to be at least 200 people packed into this house that was about the size of this table," he motioned to the dining room table around which the eight of them sat. "You could barely move without elbowing somebody. So I'd stepped outside to get some fresh air and was standing on the deck, a beer in hand, marveling at how even outside people still melded together into one giant amorphous blob. And that's when I saw her gliding through the crowd, standing head and shoulders above almost everyone else. The whole world came screeching to a halt around us. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was the most beautiful, exquisite, and statuesque woman I'd ever laid eyes on," George took Y/N's hand and kissed it, drawing dreamy sighs from the three other women and at least one of the men at the table.

"I watched her as she made her way toward the deck where I was standing," George continued. "I was so completely mesmerized that instead of approaching her, I just stood there like a dork with my mouth hanging open. It was only when she disappeared inside that the spell broke, and I realized I'd just let her walk on by, without so much as a hello."

"You didn't see him?" One of the women asked you.

"No," you shook your head. "I was too busy trying to get through the crowd."

"So what happened?"

"Well," George said, leaning forward. "I learned something very important about my wife that night. She's fast. Damned fast," he paused to take a sip of wine. "I'm not used to that. Most people have trouble keeping up with me because of my long legs. But her legs are almost as long as mine and far more graceful," he said, grinning at you. "She just moves effortlessly through crowds while I'm tripping around, trying to push my way through. By the time I got inside, she was already halfway through the house. And by the time I made it to the front porch, she was already getting into a car and riding off into the night."

"Wait? You didn't actually meet that night?" Another of their guests asked.

"Nope," George replied. "And other than a first name, no one seemed to know anything about her. Turned out she was a friend of a friend of a friend."

"So... when did you actually meet?"

"Three weeks later," Fred chimed in. "During the back to school rush on Diagon Alley. And thank Godric he did. He'd been moping about all over the place."

A round of chuckles broke out around the table, and a light blush briefly appeared on George's face. You were tempted to reach around your husband and slap Fred in the back of his cocky head. You could've easily done so, but refrained because it would've been unprofessional and would've embarrassed poor George even more.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, George cleared his throat and continued, "The day before school starts back is one of our busiest. From the moment we open to the moment we close, it's nonstop chaos. I was exhausted and was getting ready to take my much needed afternoon break when I saw Y/N's face floating above the crowd."

"You really weren't lying when you said her height was the reason you met," one of the guests commented.

"Nope," George replied, taking another sip of wine.

"I take it you didn't get your break?"

George shook his head. "I spent the next hour helping Y/N and her little sister, who was starting her first year at Hogwarts, find everything she could possibly need to start the year off right."

"And then what?"

"Then," George answered. "I asked Y/N out to dinner. And of course she said yes. The rest, as they say, is history."

~•~

The moon was high in the sky when dinner finally wrapped up with both new deals and new friends made. You'd stepped outside to enjoy the warm summer evening while George and Fred finished up some paperwork.

You were too wrapped up stargazing to hear George tiptoe up behind you until he wrapped both his arms around your waist. "Nice night for an evening, yeah?"

Snorting at his usual off-the-wall humor, you turned, wrapping your arms around his neck. He melted into your embrace. "I adore that those lovely, long arms of yours just wrap completely around me in this perfect, warm hug. I could disappear into your arms every time," he mummered as he began trailing kisses down your jaw.

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @imshiningjustforyou @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @princess-paramour @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x fem!reader #george weasley x you #george weasley fluff #george weasley headcanon #harry potter fandom #hp fandom #hp universe

[khutao]

. formal .

. alhaitham x reader . 1.9k words . college au . fluff .

The warm spring air accompanied the pairs of couples that traversed campus like a willing partner to their love. Something that was just naturally supposed to be there. Springtime was the best time for love, better than any other season. New beginnings and a change of pace were good for everyone, and it was something that should have inspired me to pull myself up and work for the same.

Except I just couldn’t. Every happy couple holding hands just punctured my heart even more. It wasn’t that I hated loving couples at all, it was the opposite. When I was at work and served tables for a pair of twenty-somethings giggling and staring into each other’s eyes the way young lovers do, it just made me sad. I was a young adult, with no romantic experience before. No one had ever taken my hand and kissed it, or escorted me around by linking our arms together, pushed my hair behind my ear, or even asked me out. I was starting to give up on the idea entirely.

So I have genuinely no idea how I ended up being selected to organize the spring formal for our university.

I had been relatively active in some organizing committees, just for the sake of boosting my resume, but I didn’t think I was good enough to earn a nomination and subsequent votes for head of the formal organization. Apparently my fellow committee members disagreed.

The last few weeks had been hectic, full of spreadsheets, budgeting, my messages being ignored in the group chat, caffeine, darkening eye bags, and sleepless nights. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to attend this formal as a guest; All my friends had dates and wanted to enjoy their time with them, so I wanted to make it as smooth and magical as I possibly could. The idea of missing out on my formal to make it nice for others worsened the wounds in my heart, but I knew it was the right thing to do given the circumstances.

Oh, and also on the committee was my longtime crush Alhaitham. It only added an extra layer of pain to be planning a formal dance in the amorous setting of spring alongside the stoic yet smart yet mysterious man I’d become smitten with over the course of a few months. I admired his work ethic and vast wealth of knowledge on so many things, and his deep, attractive voice paired nicely with his good looks. I’d never been able to reach out to him, because I had no idea how he really felt about me. I could sense when someone annoyed him, but I couldn’t parse how I made him feel. Did I annoy him? Was I stupid? Or worse, was I genuinely just no one to him, the same way I seemed to be to the masses around me?

Fluttering of the heart and drying of the mouth aside, I had to meet with him one last time for a meeting regarding scheduling, so we decided to sit down for coffee at a local cafe. The stars aligned and our schedules matched up, so it was nice to be able to sit with him and just talk.

“Alright, I think that’s all the major stuff. Anything else we missed?”

“No, I don’t believe so.”

“Perfect! Well I guess that’s it. Thanks for meeting with me.” I began putting my stuff away in my bag and stole a glance of Alhaitham. He was so elegant, even in the most simple of clothing. His sweatshirt was large to give him room with his muscular frame. I gulped, the image of his toned, big body underneath the garment. “Hey, I’ve got a question. Kind of related, but not really.”

“Mm?” He looked up from his own belongings.

Suddenly, words were failing me. If I asked what I wanted to ask, what would happen? Would he wrinkle his nose and walk away? Would he break character and laugh at me? Heat rose to my face as I shook my head. “Never mind.”

“Are you sure? If it pertains to the even then I want to answer.”

“It’s not like, completely related to planning, I just…” I clenched my fists and looked at Alhaitham again. “I was just wondering if you were going. Like, attending the event.”

He shrugged and crossed his arms. “I’d like to oversee everything, but I am not going with anyone else, if that’s what you’re asking,” he replied simply. “I will be present but not active.”

“Oh, okay… Were you going to go?”

“Likely not.”

“Mmn.”

“Were you?”

I looked back up at him from my lap, shaking my head. At this point the embarrassment was catching up with me yet again. Admitting I was going alone to the man I really wanted to go with, who didn’t want to go with me, humbled me in a way I never truly wanted to before. I let out a sigh, grabbing my bag. “I really wanted to, though. I haven’t ever been to something like this before. Kinda makes me a bad candidate for head organizer, huh?” I joked, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

Alhaitham nodded slowly and uncrossed his arms. “I have never attended something like this either. But, for what it’s worth, I think you were the best possible choice for something like this. You are quite organized and headstrong.”

“Ah… Thank you,” I replied, grinning. “That means a lot coming from you. You’re like… The most organized person I know.”

He cracked a tiny smile. “Organization is second nature to me. I can’t operate in a mess.”

“And that’s something really good. Not a lot of people have that as a skill!” 

“Indeed not. My roommate is… very disorganized.”

“Kaveh? Aww. What he lacks in organization he makes up for in heart.”

“I… suppose so. It’s the same for you.”

I froze, looking over at him. Did he really just say I had… a lot of heart? “Huh?”

He cleared his throat. “I just mean you are a kind person,” he clarified. “It’s curious. You seem like the ideal person someone would invite to a formal. But…”

We stood there, looking at each other in thick silence. I tried desperately to form a response. Thank you? Expand on that? Kiss me and make me yours? I didn’t know, so I just took the coward’s route and said nothing, shamefully looking down yet again.

“I have to go now. I will see you Saturday,” Alhaitham bade, nodding at me and turning to leave.

“Oh! Bye…”

He left the cafe and I watched his silver hair become pushed and tousled in the kicking up spring wind. It looked shiny and perfectly placed not too long ago, but even after the elements had gotten to it, he looked perfect to me.

The days melted away with most of my time going towards finalizing formal plans. Any normal person would be excited for the night where months’ worth of work would all come to fruition, where hundreds of people would get to enjoy the carefully-crafted night you’d poured your heart and soul into, but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t even sad about it. The fire I’d had at the start became dimmer and dimmer over time into complete apathy, and the idea of showing up started to sound like a chore. I just didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to go and listen to slow music, wearing a gorgeous outfit my friends pressured me into picking out for myself, and see people sway in each other’s arms with the knowledge that the guy I’d been becoming more and more infatuated with right in the same room - without me.

Nevertheless, I decided I was a person of my word and put on my formal attire, dolled myself up to look a little more glamorous than usual, and got a good look in the mirror. Wow, what a version of myself I didn’t think I’d ever get to see.

I took a picture and sent it to my friends. They responded just how I thought they would.

Slay!!

U LOOK SO GOOD OMFGGGGGGGG

marry me pls♡ ～('▽^人)

They were kind, I had to admit. Even if I didn’t have a handsome, intelligent man at my side to show me off, the little boost in confidence was just what I needed to get into my car and head to the venue. 

I greeted my friends at the door, and found myself chatting away with a variety of people. The lights and decorations were beautiful and I patted myself on the back for my music choice, but it wasn’t everything I’d dreamed of. I was having fun, but a pain surged in my chest as my friends began to leave, one by one, to go dance with their partners. I sighed, heading over to grab a drink at the table once I was the lone member yet again. But as I did so, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, blinking in surprise once I saw who it was.

“Alhaitham? Hi.”

“Hello.” He looked at me and then at my drink. “Is that good?”

“I haven’t had any yet. Want to try some with me?”

He shrugged and poured himself a drink. “Did you find anyone to accompany you?”

“No,” I sighed. “I’m here on my own, technically.”

Alhaitham looked around, as if trying to find one particular individual. “If that’s the case…” He returned his gaze to me and took my hand. “Would you be interested in attending this event at my side?”

…What? I froze in my place, looking up to make sure I’d heard him right. Alhaitham was right in front of me, with a completely serious look on his face. He stared at me, and every second that I didn’t reply thickened the air, even though I knew exactly what I wanted to say. “A-are you sure?”

“I am sure. You don’t have to if you-”

“I do! I do! Alhaitham!!” I set my cup down and rushed forward, powered on pure adrenaline and disbelief. I hugged him tightly and grinned. “I’ve never been asked to a dance before!”

“I haven’t either… Nor have I asked anyone…”

My grinning face began to become a giggling one. “Why are you asking me of all people?”

“I told you. You have heart,” he admitted, in a low voice. “And I felt confused when you said you hadn’t had an experience like this. As well as my roommate giving me advice to do this… every day since we started working.”

He cleared his throat and looked around, as the music began to change. “Do you want to dance?”

With an emphatic nod, I looked up at Alhaitham. “Let’s do it. I’ll let you lead.”

He smiled down at me and led us down to the dance floor, an experience that both of us would embark on for the first time together. As I found myself in his strong arms, feeling loved and cherished by another person for the first time in my life, I felt the spring wind wash over me from the inside out. Something new was happening within me, and it was something beautiful. I hoped for more out of this, for this night to last until the last flower petal descended to the ground, and last it did. At Alhaitham’s side, a new beginning was beginning to form, leading me down a winding road of experiences formerly completely out of reach.

And suddenly, my lonely lifetime had finally seemed worth it.

#genshin impact #genshin #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader

[poohsources]

hi, pooh, is everything alright with you? i hope it's a yes! so, i'm sorry if you already answered something like this, but i just started to follow you right now (because i found your blog really interesting), saw this post of yours and was thinking: do you have tips about "losing our musing while roleplaying"? i see a lot of friends losing their muses, sometimes i do lose mine (which is sad, because we do have affection towards our chars), and i think some tips would help a lot and you seem to have the good ones. i would really appreciate if you could share them with us! the biggest thank you already and have a good, good day!

p.s: if i didn't made myself clear, sorry, english is not my first language ):

hi there! well, i'm sick again but other than that i'm fine, thanks. no worries, if questions are asked multiple times i tend to link them to the original answer. but it's one thing i haven't talked about yet, so you're good.

unfortunately, there is no definitive answer that will definitely help but there are some things i've either done myself or have heard about that are supposed to work, so i've compiled a list of all the tips that would help when you've lost your muse.

look at your muses' source material. this mostly applies to canon muses, but depending on the kind of oc, it might work for them as well. the idea behind it is to potentially watch a few episodes ( maybe ones that heavily feature or develop your character ) of the show your muse is from if you're writing a tv show character; reread the book / certain passages if you have a book muse, or just generally interact in any kind of way with the source material. even if you're canon divergent it might help ignite your muse again when you "see them in action" so to speak.

listening to music. if you're into music, you can probably make a playlist for your character including songs that either remind you of them or are something you think your character would listen to in their own free time. now whenever you're listening to that playlist it can help you inspire your muse.

read fanfics. if you're like me and spend an ungodly amount of time reading fanfics, it's something that can help you get inspiration for your muse. again that mostly only applies to canon muses but seeing the way others write your muse and the different scenarios they can be thrown into, might help with your own muse ( and especially plot ideas / au ideas ) that you can talk about either on the dash, to a friend or someone you'd think could be a great writing partner.

create your own stuff outside of rp for your muse. it kinda ties in into the playlist tip, but there are other ways to "channel" your muse outside of rp. do you enjoy drawing? draw your muse. do you like making mood / aesthetic boards? make one for your muse. there are so many different things you can do for your muse outside of roleplaying / writing that can help you get your muse back. even if it's just by doing other stuff.

talk to your friends. if you have friends or certain writing partners you talk to a lot, it can help to just talk to them about your muse(s). you don't even have to spew plot ideas or discuss things that have to do with roleplay but maybe just some casual talk about specific topics ( or if it's a canon muse, you could talk about their source material and what you like / dislike ).

dream up scenarios. if you're someone with an imaginative mind, one thing that can help is dream up certain scenarios that involve your muse. perhaps certain things that could happen to them and how they'd react, or interactions with other people or just random day-to-day stuff ― just put yourself in their shoes and think about them. ( potentially you'll even have some great plot or verse ideas this way. )

last, but not least, take a step back from roleplaying your muse. i know that this is probably the one people will dislike the most but sometimes the best thing you can do when you've lost your muse is to take a step back from it. if you're forcing yourself to write because you think it's what you're supposed to do, it's pretty much bound to frustrate you and therefore make you lose your muse. we all love our characters and the things we've created for them, but sometimes we have to let go. of course it doesn't have to be a permanent thing, maybe someday you'll get your muse for that character back and make a return to it, but sometimes you'll realize that you can't get your muse back and that is okay.

occasionally, people connect to characters that speak to them during specific times of their life and if these change, it can change the muse for that character because you don't feel as connected to them anymore. you can still cherish that time and love that character but as i said above, if you're forcing yourself to do anything, it's bound to be bad.

anyway, i hope these tips will help! :)

#answered questions. #writing help #roleplay tips #roleplay help #rph #okay to reblog !

[ahonice]

Until Now

Until Now

Cale Makar x Reader x Tyson Jost

Warnings: drinking, toxic relationships, some sexual scenes but no actual smut (ok maybe a little smut, depends on what you define it as).

WC: 11k (got a little carried away sorry babes)

*Some things might not actually match up to the real life timeline and something just straight up never happened, this is a work of fiction.*

*March 15th 2022*

“I don’t understand why you’re getting so upset.”

That phrase only made you more upset. Tyson had just found out he was being traded a couple hours before and he immediately began packing his things, and yours.

“Tyson I cannot just pick up my life and move across the country. My friends are here, my family is here, I have a job that I love here, I am not leaving.” 

“If any of the other guys were traded their partners wouldn’t have to think twice about going with them. Why do you have to be so difficult? Quit your job, I can provide for the two of us, and we can come back to visit during the holidays. All I want is my girlfriend and for us to be there for each other.”

“No, what you want is a trophy wife and I will not be that. This is over Tyson, thanks for the headstart on packing my shit. I’ll be back in the morning to get all my stuff.”

***

You had plenty of options of where to stay overnight, plenty of them having no ties with Tyson or any of the Avalanche players for that matter, but you still found yourself at Cale’s front door. After knocking and getting no answer you began heading towards the stairwell but the sound of a door opening stopped you.

“Y/n? What are you doing here? It's late, come in.” 

“He is getting traded.”

“I know, it’s so unfortunate, I’m gonna miss him.”

Cale didn’t just assume you were leaving your life in Colorado behind, you appreciated that.

“We broke up. He wanted me to just drop everything and follow him like I’m some sad little puppy who can’t function without its owner.” 

“Oh. Well, do you need somewhere to stay tonight?”

Yes. “No. Just wanted a friend to talk to, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do now.”

And that is what Cale was that night, a friend for you to talk to, as well as a friend who did not let you leave once the both of you realized it was almost 3am and gave you his guest bed to sleep on.

 ***

You had called out of work on your way to Cale’s last night knowing you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to teach rambunctious high school students about whichever history course of yours they were enrolled into. 

Walking out of the guest room you were met with an empty apartment, which was to be expected as the Avalanche had a practice scheduled at this time. I cleaned up any mess I made in the guest bedroom and tidied up around the living room, texting Cale a thank you for everything before slipping out of his apartment and heading over to yours.

***

“Where did you go last night? None of your friends could tell me where you were, I was worried sick.”

The first words to come out of Tyson’s mouth upset you more than they probably should’ve.

“I’m not yours to worry about anymore Tyson.”

You walked towards the bedroom without another word, more rage blinded you as you saw all of your things Tyson had previously packed now out of their boxes and put back where they used to belong. 

Before you were able to yell out towards your ex you felt a presence at the door.

“I’m not breaking the lease, this is where you live too. I’m not just gonna leave you with nowhere to stay, I’m not that cruel.” 

“I can’t afford this place by myself, you know that.”

It was true, while you loved your job, you were still a public school teacher in a very underfunded school district. Tyson always offered to just cover all of the rent, but ended up settling for a 70/30 split rent, you insisted on helping out even if it was the smallest amount of money. 

“I know, I paid for the next three months in advance. If you plan on moving out please just wait three months, I know you don’t like money wasted.”

“Tyson, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know.” He trailed off realizing the time. “I should go, I have a flight to catch.”

You nodded, sniffling. You don’t know when you teared up, but they were now clouding your vision. 

“Baby, please don’t cry. I know we aren’t together anymore, but I don’t want to lose contact with you. Please reach out to me, I know I will reach out to you.”

“What about Cleo?” 

Cleo, the cat you two had together, had never been Tyson’s biggest fan. You liked to blame it on her not liking men, but Tyson always fired back with a “She loves Cale.” That was true, she loved Cale, probably more than she loved you.

“She can stay here with you, she would probably run away if I took her.”

You laughed at his statement.

“She would miss Cale too much anyways. “ You joked. “Thank you.”

“Of course, you know she loves you more than me.”

“No Tys, thank you for everything. These past three years have been amazing, I love you.”

“I love you too Y/n.” His phone ringing interrupted him. “I really need to go, my uber is here. Don’t be a stranger Y/n, I expect to be hearing from you.”

***

*April 11th 2022*

Tyson definitely reached out more than you did, but he still got the occasional message from you with an update on Cleo or something that happened to you during work that day. He did get a picture of you in the jersey he sent just days after he moved out, the green material and the number 10 feeling foreign on you, having never worn anything with “JOST” on it that wasn’t navy or maroon. 

Almost a month later you sat in your apartment watching the Wild game, wearing Tyson’s jersey cuddled up with Cleo, who you had somehow gotten to wear the Wild bandana Tyson sent a few days ago, sending him a selfie of the two of you with a text message right after saying, “Rooting from you, Cleo isn’t suffering in that bandana for you to lose the game!” 

A knock on your door interrupted the trance you had been in while watching the game, your first plan to ignore whoever was at your door was abandoned as the person continued knocking, now almost banging on the door.

You cautiously opened the door, immediately fearing who or what could be behind that door.

“Hey.”

It was Cale.

“Hey Cale, what’s up.”

“I haven’t seen you in a while, just wanted to check in. You’ve been ignoring my messages and calls, I know because you’ve been ignoring everyone else.”

He has a right to sound as upset as he is. Cale, as well as all the rest of the Avalanche roster and their partners, have been given the cold shoulder ever since Tyson moved, but after almost two weeks of radio silence they had all seemed to give up, all but Cale.

“Look Cale I’m really sorry but I just couldn’t bring myself to be around his friends. Everything reminds me of him.”

“Is that why you’re wearing his jersey right now? To help get him off your mind?”

“Cale–”

The Canadian wouldn’t let you finish what you were gonna say.

“I’m taking you out to eat, I know you’re hungry. Go change.”

Cale always knew how to read you because you were starving. He made his way inside, shutting the door behind him and immediately making his way towards Cleo who was still laying on the couch. He pet her, quickly pulling off the Wild bandana she wore and making a mental note to buy her an Avalanche one.

“I can tell she has missed you. If you were anyone else she would be in my bedroom hiding.” You spoke, walking out of the bathroom is an old hoodie rather than Tyson’s jersey you were wearing just moments prior.

“I missed her too, did Tyson not want her?”

“No, he knows she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t like any men.” You spoke with a chuckle.

“She likes me.”

“That’s because you’re special Cale.”

He blushed as the two of you walked out, not even realizing you forgot your phone on the coffee table in the living room. A text from Tyson lighting up your phone reading, “I miss my girls, when I’m in Denver next can we meet for dinner?”

***

“There is no way that actually happened.” Cale laughed, nearly choking on his coffee. 

He had taken you to Waffle House as that was the only open that sounded somewhat appetizing, you had arrived nearly two hours before, the two of you getting lost in the conversation talking about anything and everything, which was now leading to the senior prank that was pulled last year.

“I swear, they took the tires off of the principal's car and placed them in the trophy display case.” 

“That is so funny, did they get in trouble?”

“Oh yea, they were suspended and weren’t allowed to walk at graduation, but I think it was worth it. It was hilarious.”

Soon the laughter faded out into a comfortable silence.

“We should probably head back, it’s almost 9pm. I’ve got work in the morning.” You said, even though you never wanted this night to end. 

***

Cale walked you up to your front door, claiming he wanted to see Cleo one more time.

“You know you can come see her whenever you want to? I’ll unmute your contact info, I was wrong to try and ignore you.”

“You had your reasons, but yes please do that. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You trailed off not knowing what to do, the tension in the air feeling all but friendly. Luckily the sound of your phone ringing cut through it, you quickly shuffled to where you had left your phone hours before. The screen lighting up with the name “Tyson 🤍” you never brought yourself to change his contact name. 

“It’s Tyson, tonight has been very fun. We should do it again soon, just message me whenever you're free.” Cale nodded, a quiet “Goodbye.” leaving his lips as he walked out the door.

You answered the phone, letting out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in.

“Hey Tyson.”

“Where were you?” 

“Tys–”

“No! You haven’t answered me in hours, i know you couldn’t have been sleeping because you keep your ringer one so where were you? Are you okay?”

His last question did not match his angry tone at all.

“I was out with a friend and I left my phone in the apartment. Tyson you have no right to yell at me like that.”

“Y/n I was worried, am I not allowed to be worried about my girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend. Tyson, if I have to remind you that we are broken up one more time I don’t think I can play along with this whole “friends” act. I am not yours to worry about anymore.”

“Fine.”

“Tyson please stop messaging me, it is for the best. We both need to move on, our relationship is over and there is nothing we can do to fix it. Agreeing to stay friends was a big mistake.”

“There is something that we can do to fix our relationship, you can come move out here with me. I still love you Y/n and I know you still love me. Leave your job, I found a private school twenty minutes away from the arena that needs teachers.”

“Would you just stop it Tyson! We are over. I'm not leaving my life in Denver, I am done having this conversation with you. Goodbye Tyson, please stop contacting me.”

“Wait no Y/n please–”

You hung up before Tyson could finish his sentence.

***

 The next day Tyson would not stop calling you, during the school day you had to turn your phone completely off because “do not disturb” wasn’t even helping. By the time you arrived back at your apartment you’d had enough.

“Enough Tyson! I told you to leave me alone I’m blocking you–”

“Woah put the claws away, it’s just me.”

Cale.

“Oh I’m sorry Cale, I thought Tyson was calling me again.”

“Is he bothering you? Because I can talk to him for you.”

“No Cale it’s nothing you want to get involved in I promise.”

“Do you wanna meet for a late dinner after my game is over?”

“Yea I’d love to, good luck tonight by the way.”

You could hear his smile over the phone as he suggested you wear one of his jerseys tonight.

“--and put Cleo in that new Avalanche bandana I sent you.”

“Will do Cale, but I should probably go. I’ll see you later.”

“Goodbye Y/n,”

***

The knock on your door pulled you out of your trance, quickly lowering the volume on your speaker as you walked towards the door to answer it.

“Hey Cale, you can come in, just give me a second to change and grab my shoes.” 

“Ok, take your time.” His breathing stopped as he saw you turn around, his name and number branded on your back. He quickly walked towards the couch to take a seat, noting what songs were playing over your speakers so he could play it in the car.

“What artist is this?” He asks as you walk out of your bedroom, still in his jersey, but in jeans instead of the sleep shorts you were wearing when you answered the door.

“Harry Styles, he is one of my favorite singers ever.”

“Oh yea the one from that band, you went to see him in concert last year?”

You found it sweet that he remembered. Tyson had joined you at the concert but couldn’t even bother to learn the name of the artist, who you so lovingly adore. 

“Yea I did, it was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. I’ve been listening to him since he was in One Direction and I just love his music so much. I’ve begun collecting his merch, and I think I’m gonna start collecting his records. I don’t even have a record player though.” You looked up trying to catch your breath, “Sorry I didn’t mean to ramble, I don’t mean to annoy you.” You spoke looking down again, a blush forming on your cheeks.

Cale gently grabbed your chin, making me look up at him, “You don’t need to be sorry, I don’t think you realize how adorable it is when you’re talking about something you love.” 

“Be careful, if someone else heard you say that they might think you’re flirting with me.” You chuckled out.

“Well they would be correct.” Cale paused for a moment “We should go, I don’t know how busy Waffle House is going to be right now.” He finished while walking out your door leaving you standing in your living room too stunned to move.

“Did he actually just say that?”

“Yes I did, can we go now? I’m hungry.”

***

“Is everything ok? You’ve been silent all night.” Cale said. It was true, but he had just dropped a bomb on you.

“Did you mean what you said? That you were flirting with me? Do you actually not find it annoying when I talk? Because if you’re just here to pity me because of Tyson then just leave.” You blurted out, immediately embarrassed by your short rant.

“No Y/n, not at all. Nothing you could do would ever annoy me. Did Tyson ever make you feel that way? Because I will beat him up.”

“Cale, please, stop. Let's just forget about it, I don’t like talking about it.” 

“Ok, but please eat your food before I do. Somehow I’m still very hungry.

***

“Cale, we should probably head back, it’s almost 1am.”

“Oh my goodness I didn’t even realize how late it was getting, I just lose track of time when I’m with you.” Cale spoke while standing up and gathering his things, “-And I don’t mean that in a bad way, I really enjoy spending time with you.” 

“Thank you Cale, I appreciate you.” You said while following his actions. “I don’t think you realize how good it feels to hear those words, especially when the person saying them is being genuine.”

***

Cale knew there was something off about your relationship with Tyson, even before he had moved to Minnesota. The way you responded to compliments and criticisms spoke enough on how poorly Tyson had treated you, he wanted to make that right. He wanted you to accept compliments without arguing, and he wanted you to know that no criticism that was thrown your way would change the way he felt about you. Cale wanted you, he always had ever since the night he met you almost three years ago, the same night you met Tyson.

*May 9th 2019*

The Avalanche decided to celebrate their season coming to an end at a club in downtown Denver. That club just so happened to be where you were working as a bartender, the job you had while in college. 

“We better be making good tips tonight, these guys make like one million dollars a year.”

“Don’t be a bitch and that won’t be an issue.” You spoke laughing at your friend, Callie’s, reaction.

“Put your tits away Y/n.” She fires back while walking away to her side of the bar. You laugh while you finish preparing your side of the bar.

Soon enough it was time for the team to come up to the private floor, you had no idea how they would act. Would they be respectful? Would they be creepy? Either way you need to get those tips, college is expensive. 

“Y/n if you pull your tits out anymore i think you would flash them.” Callie said, fake judging you.

“I need money, and your ass is out Callie.”

“I also need money.” The two of you laughed but were quickly silenced by the sound of footsteps outside the door.

Your coworker led them inside and they all took seats, some at booths and some at the bar. You immediately began taking orders and working on drinks, trying to get everything done as quickly as possible as to have a little down time before the next rush of orders came through. After about 15 minutes the bar had died down and you were able to start talking, more gossiping than anything, with Callie. 

“That blonde with the red cheeks has not stopped staring at you, like not once has he even blinked.” Callie told you, not bothering to be quiet because no one was around, or so you had thought.

“I have also not taken my eyes off of you since I got here.” 

You and Callie quickly turned around to see a boy with curly brown hair.

“I’m Tyson by the way and you are?” Tyson gestured over towards you, making sure you knew who he was talking about. 

“I’m Y/n.” 

“And I’m Callie, not that either of you are acknowledging my existence right now.”

You giggled and apologized about your friend before falling into conversation with Tyson.

“So you aren’t old enough to drink, but you are old enough to be a bartender? How does that make sense.” 

“You have to be 18 to serve alcohol, 21 to drink alcohol. It’s just how this country works, you’re gonna have to get used to it Canada.”  

“I don’t mean to interrupt, well yeah I actually do, but Y/n you have a job to do that isn’t flirting with Tyson here.” Callie chimed in, causing a blush to rise to your cheeks.

“I am sorry but she is right, I have to get back to work. It was very nice meeting you though.” Tyson gave you a smile before you turned to take orders and make drinks for his teammates.

As you were making a drink someone sat down in the stool in front of you, the blonde Callie pointed out earlier who “hadn’t taken his eyes off you”. 

“Hey can I get you anything?” You asked, setting the whiskey sour down for the man who had ordered it.

“Do you have apple juice?” The blonde asked.

“I believe we do, would you like that with vodka? Or what do you want?” You asked back, a little confused because that wasn’t a question you were asked before.

“No, can I have just apple juice? I’m not old enough to drink and water is boring.” He said avoiding eye contact with you.

“Of course, just give me a second to find it.” You responded while looking around the bar for the bottle of apple juice. Handing the cup to him after you finished pouring it, he began asking about you and why you’re working as a bartender.

“Well I’m actually a student at The University of Denver and I work here for money to pay off my loan debt.” You told him. “I am a few days away from finishing my second year of school, so don’t worry about ordering apple juice, I would also have to order that if I were on the other side of this bar. I’m only 19.” 

“You aren’t allowed to drink alcohol, but you can make and serve alcoholic drinks? How does that make sense?” He asked you, almost baffled at the news you just told him.

“It confused me too Cale–” Another voice cut in, Tyson took the seat next to the boy who you have now been able to place a name on, Cale. “-Hello Y/n, it is nice to see you again. I was worried my teammates would steal you away from me for the rest of the night.” 

“Well they couldn’t even if they tried cause you would just interrupt them anyways.” You chirped at him, making it obvious that he just walked in on a conversation that you were really enjoying. 

“Alright well I was just gonna order another drink, and also was hoping to talk to you some more. Would it be ok if I joined in on you and Cale’s conversation Y/n?” He asked in a tone, knowing what your answer would be. 

“What would you like to drink Tyson?”

***

“Come on boys, they're closing.” A blonde man came up to grab both Cale and Tyson’s shoulders. They quickly nodded their heads towards the guy grinning at you with some of his teeth missing. Cale opened his mouth to say something, but Tyson had beat him to it.

“Can I get your number Y/n? I wanna take you out sometime.” A blush rose to your cheeks, you weren’t blind he was attractive and you would actually be stupid if you didn’t give it to him. So that’s what you did, not noticing the defeated look on Cale’s face. Tyson beat him by asking you out, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be your friend.

*May 2nd, 2022*

The first round of playoffs began tonight and you could tell Cale was nervous, but so were you. Not only for your friend, who so deserved to win the cup, but also at the fact that this was the first Avalanche game you would be attending since you and Tyson broke up as well as the first time you would even be speaking and seeing the other players and partners.

“Why don’t you wear my jersey tonight? I know you aren’t wearing your jacket so you’ll need something to wear.” Cale suggested, walking into your apartment already knowing you were struggling to pick out an outfit without even walking into your room. What he didn’t know was that you had your headphones on so you didn’t hear him come in or speak to you, Cale also didn’t know that you were only dressed in your underwear while rummaging through your closet. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head as a crimson color crept up to his cheeks, sure he has seen you in a swimsuit before, but this was just different. He quickly turned around and tried to make his way out of your room unnoticed, tried to. He ran into your bedside table while walking out, causing your lamp to tumble over, and making you jump in reaction. Quickly whipping your head around and saw a very red Cale looking at the blue lace that covered your intimates, rubbing his neck in shame.

“Oh Cale, I’m sorry I didn’t hear you come in.” 

He was surprised at your tone, why weren’t you the littlest shocked at him seeing you basically naked, did you want him to see you like that? Were you into him like he was into you? He cut his own thoughts off.

“I’m so sorry, um I’ll just be in the living room waiting.” He spoke before basically running out of your room. You found it adorable how flustered he got, it was just some skin you didn’t really see the big deal.

You quickly got dressed in one of Cale’s jerseys and some black leather pants. Putting on some accessories and your signature perfume before walking into the living room and bending over to put on your booties, catching Cale staring at you once again. 

You would be lying if you said you weren’t attracted to Cale, you always had been ever since the night you had met him. But nothing could ever happen, you were with Tyson, well you used to be. Cale was there for you whenever you needed it, he was everything you wanted in a partner. He was everything Tyson was and more. Maybe you did begin flirting with Cale a bit more noticeably a few weeks after the break up, but could anyone blame you it's Cale fucking Makar. 

“Ready to go?” you asked, turning to face him. He nodded in response quickly getting up, you could finally get a good look at his game day suit and god did he look good. Hiding the crush you had on him was getting harder and harder every moment. 

***

“Y/n! Ugh I have missed you so much!” Mel was quick to greet you once you stepped into the friends and family box. You had no idea how everyone would react to you attending an Avalanche game not as Tyson’s girlfriend, but as Cale’s friend. 

“Hey Mel, sorry I haven’t been in contact–” The captain's wife was quick to shut down your apologies.

“Don’t. I know it couldn’t have been easy to constantly surround yourself with things that remind you of him. I was a little surprised when Cale told us that you guys had been spending all your time together.” 

“Yea he has been a great support system for me, it feels nice to be friends with him again.”

It was known that after your relationship with Tyson had become something more serious, moving in together and getting a cat, that you and Cale had drifted apart from one another. He was your closest friend, you would’ve even considered him your best friend, but Tyson wasn’t a fan of the two of you. He claimed that he didn’t trust Cale because he had ulterior motives and didn’t just want to be your friend. 

“You’re not dating? Oh I’m sorry Gabe mentioned that you and Cale had been going on dates, I just assumed.” Your eyes widened at not only the assumption, but also at the bedazzled jean jacket with Cale’s name and number on it that was brought for you. You just shook your head at Mel’s apologies and took the jacket from her. “Maybe I’ll wear it to the next playoff game.” You told her with a fake smile on your face. Had you and Cale actually been going on dates without even realizing it? Did Cale think you were going on dates and you were the one in the dark about it?

***

You continued to attend all of the playoff games that took place in Denver and by the end of the first round it felt like you had never lost contact with everyone. They were kind enough to never mention Tyson in front of you, knowing it was still a hot topic and you appreciated that a lot more than they could ever know. You had to have Mel and Sydney stop you from texting Tyson, apologizing for the loss but also congratulating him on finishing the season with the Wild.

 With Cale being so busy you haven't been able to hang out with each other, but you’re still texting and calling whenever the both of you are available. Tonight was the first game of the second round and you were trying to figure out what to wear and that damn jean jacket was just staring at you from its spot in your closet.

 “It wouldn’t be horrible to wear it, I mean just because I’m wearing it doesn’t mean we’re together I’m just wearing a jacket, just like how I wear his jersey.” You spoke to yourself, an internal battle happening in your mind as you finally slipped the denim over your shoulders. 

“Do you still have my jean jacket?” A voice that was all too familiar to you spoke from the entryway of your room. Tyson. “You know you should probably stop keeping the front door unlocked, who knows what kind of weirdo could just walk in.”

You slowly turned around, tears welling in your eyes as you looked at the man who you had loved so much. His hair was grown out and he wasn’t clean shaven anymore, he looked different. 

“Tyson, what- um how- what are you doing here?” On any other occasion you would’ve been embarrassed by stumbling over your words but you were too shocked to care, the tears that had been settling in your eyes finally began falling as neither of you spoke, both keeping your eyes on each other scared that if you looked away that they would no longer be there.

His presence shouldn’t bother you this much, you shouldn’t allow him to bother you this much. 

“My season is over, I wanted to come down to support the team. They’re still my friends even if we aren’t on the same roster anymore.” He answered while walking towards you, him just being centimeters away from you by the end of his statement. 

“No, what are you doing here Tyson? Why are you in my apartment?” You ask softly, trying to hide yourself from him. You didn’t want Tyson to see you in such a vulnerable state. 

Tyson reaches up to gently grab your face, his thumbs wiping your tears away as he leans into your lips. As much as you wanted to fight him, and to not let him kiss you, you couldn’t stop yourself from falling into the kiss and wrapping my hands around him, managing to bring him closer to you. The kiss quickly deepens as you walk back towards your bed.

“I’ve missed you.” Tyson spoke in between kisses. His hands began roaming your body, but stopping as he touched the jewels that spelt out “MAKAR” on your back.

“I need you to take his name off of your back.” Tyson said, the jealousy was apparent in his voice.

Tyson knew that Cale always had a thing for you, he was horrible at hiding it. Tyson was never the biggest fan of you being friends with Cale, he didn’t trust the younger Canadian knowing that Cale had been in love with you since you met the both of them that night in May, Tyson had been too.

“Tyson, we need to stop this.” you said, pulling away from him. His lips chasing yours before letting out a sigh.

“Why? I am off of work all summer and so are you? Please can we just be together again? Be us again? I miss you so fucking much and I don’t know if I can keep doing this without you by my side. It was horrible after we broke up, I cannot function without you. Please Y/n, at least just consider going on a date with me? I’m in Denver for the next month and a half, I’m staying at a hotel.” Tyson rambled as you considered his words, you were doing horrible as well nothing Cale or any of your other friends could do or say was able to fully close up the hole in your heart that Tyson left you with.

“You can stay here, there is a guest room. No need for you to pay for a hotel room.” You whispered, shocking yourself with the offer. Him staying with you for almost two months would probably be one of the worst mistakes in your life, but you didn’t want him staying in a hotel, you knew how much he hated them.

“Y/n thank you, I hate-” Tyson started. “Staying in hotels. I know.” You finished.

“Can we skip the game please, go get some dinner and talk about everything. I think that is what we need, to just go over everything that happened and how we are feeling.” Tyson suggested to you, a little nervous that you would say no. 

Your heart spoke before your brain could, “Yea I think that would be what’s best for us moving forward.”

***

You quickly changed into a dress and some heels, Tyson changing into a dress shirt and slacks. He had made reservations for the two of you at your favorite Italian place before he had even got to your apartment because he knew you would say yes, you hated him for knowing you so well. You walked out after putting your favorite earrings on, the ones you haven’t worn since the last date you had gone on with Tyson.

“You’re wearing my earrings.” Tyson muttered so quietly you almost didn’t hear it. 

“They’re beautiful Tyson, of course I’m going to wear them. You also put a lot of thought into the gift, they mean a lot to me.” You were fully aware that Cale had gone out and bought your anniversary gift for Tyson because he had no idea what to get you, and Cale had seen you eyeing that pair of earrings every time you went window shopping with him, he even saw the tabs open on your computer once, one of them being the link to the online shop that sold those earrings. They were all you could’ve ever wanted as a gift, and Tyson didn’t even know that. 

“We should get going before we miss our reservations” He said standing up, ending the slight stare down the two of you were having, you wanted him to admit he didn’t get you those earrings but he never would. That was the biggest issue, your relationship was built on lies.

***

“Please be my girlfriend again” 

Tyson didn’t even wait for the hostess who showed you to your table to leave before speaking.

“Tyson–”

“Y/n I have been so miserable since you left me, I’m not eating, I’m not sleeping, my game has been complete shit. Without you I am nothing, I need you back. I fucked up, I know that, but please if you just give me a second chance I will be the loving boyfriend that you deserve. Please Y/n.” He pleaded, tears building up in his eyes. 

“Tyson, can we please just treat this like a normal date and discuss our future in private.” He nodded as you both quickly shoved your heads into the menu, even though you both knew what you would be getting already.

***

Dinner was filled with the two of you catching up, you telling him about the things you have been up to since he moved and him telling you about Minnesota and the team.

“Did you stay close with any of the players or their partners?” Tyson asked after your stories had stopped being shared. 

“No, the only one I talked to and saw on a regular basis was Cale. I kind of shut everyone out except for him after we broke up, but I’ve started to go to games again. Which reminds me I need to inform them that I’m alive and just missing the game tonight.” You said while pulling your phone out to see a few texts already.

From: Mel🏒❤️

Hey! Just wondering if you were dead or not lol.

From: Mel🏒❤️

I’m gonna assume you’re not coming tonight, hope everything is ok. Text me when you can.

From: Mel🏒❤️

Text Cale too. He is worried.

From: Makar🥰

Hey Y/n after the game tonight could you go down to the tunnels with Mel and Syd? I want to talk to you.

From: Makar🥰

Mel just told me you aren’t up in the box with them, are you gonna be late to the game?

From: Makar🥰

Is everything alright Y/n? It isn’t like you to ignore messages.

From: Makar🥰

Text me whenever you see this so I know you’re ok, I’m going out onto the ice now, I hope you’re watching from wherever you are.

You quickly typed a response to Mel’s texts.

To: Mel🏒❤️

Hey I’m alive. Tyson is in town, came by my apartment and now we’re at dinner discussing everything. Tell the girls I’m sorry I couldn’t make it and if Cale asks anything do not mention Tyson please, just tell him I’m sick and that I just needed rest.

From: Mel🏒❤️

Oh shit.

You chuckled lightly at the text before going into your conversation with Cale.

To: Makar🥰

I am so sorry Cale but I woke up super sick this morning and needed some rest, sorry I didn’t text earlier I’ve been sleeping all day. Good job on the game today! Cleo and I were rooting for you the whole time!❤️❤️

You sent the text congratulating him on the game even though it was only the 1st period, he probably wasn’t going to see it until after the game had ended.

“Everything ok?” Your head shot up, having forgotten about the real reason why you were not in attendance at the game the voice of your ex startled you.

“Yea I just had to text Mel quickly, what were we talking about?” You asked, placing your phone in your purse.

“How you just began attending Avalanche games recently.” He answered.

“Oh yea, I felt a bit awkward going after we broke up but Cale convinced me to go for the playoff games. The girls have been super nice about everything. I was scared they would hate me for having cut off our communication with them, but they said they understood why I did it.” You explained while playing with your food, a habit you displayed when you were nervous.

“So how is Cale?” Tyson's question shouldn’t have shocked you as much as it did.

“Oh um he is great. He has had an amazing season, hasn’t he been texting you bragging about everything he has accomplished?”  You didn’t know if you should tell Tyson about how close the two of you had become in the two months he has been gone, afraid of his reaction. 

“Well he has blocked my number and all of my socials so the only updates I get on him are through the boys, but they usually just talk about the two of you when I ask about him. They say that the two of you have been going on dates and spend every night together, and that he asked for a playoff jacket to be made for you with his name and number on it. Is there something you’re not telling me Y/n?” 

With Tyson there is no trust, he gets extremely jealous and once he has the thought of you being with someone else he fixates on it and sees the guy as a threat. You would say his only threat is Cale. 

“Tyson, nothing is going on with me and Cale. We’re just friends, if you can’t trust me then why should I bother attempting to rekindle our relationship if you can’t trust me and my best friend.” You spoke, frustration clear in your tone. You could tell that you were making those around you uncomfortable so you proposed that the two of you pay the check and continue your conversation in a more private place, or just somewhere that wasn’t filled with happy couples.

***

“Are you sure nothing happened between you and Cale while I was gone.” Tyson asked for what felt like the 100th time, but it was probably just the third or fourth.

“Yes Tyson, for the last time nothing happened between us and nothing is happening between us right now. But if anything did happen you aren’t allowed to be upset, we are broken up. I can do and see whoever I want and so can you.” You basically yelled at the boy who sat on your couch.

“I don’t want to be with just anyone, I want to be with you Y/n. Am I not making that clear enough because I think I’ve said that plenty of times tonight.” Tyson yelled back. 

“Let's just calm down, I’m gonna go change, you can turn on the tv. Play the game or something.” You told him before turning to walk towards your bedroom. 

Once you’ve entered the room to search for a shirt to wear over your spandex, you saw one of Tyson’s Wild shirts sitting on top of your bed. One of your favorite habits of his, he always left a shirt out for you to change into after a night out. Contemplating whether or not you should put it on or just find another shirt to wear, you decide to just put on Tyson’s shirt thinking you’ve hurt his feelings enough for one night. 

Quickly putting some fuzzy socks on you walk out to the living room, freezing at the sight.

“I think she missed me.” Tyson was cuddled up with Cleo, she was wearing a jersey that had his number on it but the name said “DADDY” you were amazed at how he was able to get it on her as well as wondering where the hell he found a jersey that fits a cat.

“Please tell me you didn’t order a custom jersey for our cat.” You said trying to hide your laughter.

“I did, but don’t worry it's a jersey meant for a baby. I’m not that crazy to order a jersey made for a cat.” He responded, as Cleo went to lay on his chest.

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” He gave you a fake glare before laughing and patting the spot next to him. “I can tell she misses you, I would find her cuddled up in your old dresser sometimes with some of the clothes you left here.” He smiled at that and situated himself and Cleo so that you could sit next to them. 

“The avalanche game ended, they won, now it’s just playing the highlights.” He whispered to you, your bodies so close that a volume louder would cause a headache. You nodded and focused on the tv, well tried to focus. You and Tyson had broken up 2 months ago, which meant it had been 2 months since you had sex, and god were you frustrated. Sure you had a vibrator, but nothing was gonna beat actual sex, especially sex with Tyson. Thinking about it made it worse, so you shifted on the couch uncomfortably, crossing your legs to try and relieve some of the tension in your body, before looking at the TV, which was showing a compilation of Cale’s three goals, he got a fucking hat trick and you weren’t there to see it. You quickly picked up your phone to send a text to him.

To: Makar🥰

Congratulations on your hat trick tonight!! I cannot believe I missed it, I am so sorry. I’ll be there for your next one though 😁❤️

“What does he want?” Tyson asked, annoyed while looking at the contact in your phone.

“I’m just congratulating him on his hat trick tonight, and apologizing for not being able to attend the game.” You answered with a sigh, leaning over the couch and setting your phone down on the table in front of you. Which gave Tyson a very nice view of your ass. Was it a horrible idea to sleep with your ex while he is trying to win you back, or just in general? Absolutely, but you don't care, you just need to have a release. You stayed bent over, deciding to text Mel just to try and get Tyson a little riled up. 

To: Mel🏒❤️

Girl I know this is a bad idea but I think I’m gonna sleep with Tyson😭 

To: Mel🏒❤️

I haven’t had an orgasm in two months, seriously if he doesn’t fuck me I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Wish me luck!! 

From: Mel🏒❤️

Get that dick babe!! 

From: Mel🏒❤️

But seriously the second he leaves Denver I’m setting you up with someone. This has to be a one time thing, you’re better off without him.

You smiled at the messages before turning your phone on do not disturb and setting it down, missing a message from Cale.

From: Makar🥰

Hey Y/n, I’m coming over to your place. Hope it’s ok because I’m almost there.

From: Makar🥰

I’m bringing soup and tea, I assume you’re asleep so I’ll just let myself  in.

Unaware that Cale was on his way you sat back down on the couch leaning your body onto Tyson’s. You hoped he would’ve picked up on your signals, but he just wrapped his arm around you and did nothing else.

“Tyson how many more signals  am I gonna have to give you until you fuck me.” You whispered in his ear, and that was it. 

His mouth instantly found yours, your tongues fighting for dominance as he grabs your hips to straddle his own. 

Soon the clothes were coming off, Tyson was in just his boxers as you were only in Tyson’s Wild shirt. The marks being left on your neck made the shape of a T, one of Tyson’s favorite things to do during sex, it claimed you as his. He began lifting your shirt up, not all the way, but just enough to be able to latch his mouth onto your nipple. So caught up in the moment, your moans and his grunts caused by your bare core grinding against his clothed one, you didn’t hear your front door unlock and the sound of footsteps entering your apartment. You did however hear the sound of soup hitting the floor, you felt it too. You yelped, catching Tyson’s attention whose first instinct was to protect you. He quickly pushed you onto the couch and moved up to cover you, he still didn’t know who had entered your apartment. 

“What the fuck are you doing here.” Cale yelled towards your ex, your eyes widened as you tried to find your shorts, or anything to cover your exposed bottom half.

“I could ask you the same thing Makar.” Tyson asks, getting angrier by the moment. Cale having a key to your apartment, bringing you things thinking you were sick, and being protective over you did not sit well in Tyson’s stomach. You had spent the whole night trying to convince Tyson that nothing was going on between you and Cale and now all that work was out the window. 

“I knew it, I fucking knew there was something going on between you two. Y/n tried to tell me that nothing was happening but I’ve always known you loved her, you never got over her even after you lost her to me.” Tyson spoke venomously.

“Fuck you Tyson, and you Y/n–” Cale pointed at you. “I’m really disappointed in you. After all this time trying to get over him you just fell back into his trap. Was this your plan all along? To string me along and get my hopes up and then break my heart, because if so you accomplished it. Whore.” That's when Tyson swung and tears welled in your eyes. Cale regained his balance as a face of guilt washed over him, but he left before you could say anything to him or he could say anything to you. 

You quickly got up finding your spandex and put them on before running out the front door to chase after Cale. 

“Where are you going? Are you seriously chasing after him? He just called you a whore.” Tyson yelled as you made your way to the hallway.

“He’s my best friend.” you whispered back towards him, not even thinking he had heard it, but Tyson nodded at you as a way to tell you to go after him.

***

Luckily Cale lived in the same building as you so all you had to do was go up the stairwell to get his floor, but he had some leg and speed advantage on you, as well as a head start because you couldn’t get your damn shorts on, so Cale’s door was shut. 

“Cale open the door.” You said while knocking, more like pounding, on the door. “-Please.” You were met with silence as you continued to beg to be let in. Eventually your legs got tired and you began sliding your back down the door, the tears you had been holding back finally slipping free as you lost control of your breathing. 

“Cale, please.” Your voice was barely there, he wouldn’t be able to hear you unless he was at the other side of the door. “I’m so sorry.” Even if Cale was on the other side of the door your weeps were enough to make the words coming out of your mouth sound like a foreign language.

You continued to cry until you heard the door to the stairwell open.

“Come on Y/n, we have to go. You need to go to bed.” Tyson tried to coax you into coming back to your apartment but you weren’t having it.

“NO TYSON-” you shouted. “-I fucked up ok. I need to make it right, he is my best friend and I cannot leave or go to sleep until I have talked to him.” Your words grew quieter as a new wave of tears washed over you. 

“Baby…” he trailed off before walking over to you, “Let's go Y/n. He doesn’t wanna talk to you right now, you can try again tomorrow. Just give him some space. Come on love, I’ve got you.” Tyson picked you up bridal style, too tired to care you wrapped your arms around his neck and snuggled into his chest, almost immediately falling asleep. Neither you or Tyson heard Cale’s door open or the faint “Y/n.” that left his lips.

***

“Wait so Cale walked in on you and Tyson doing it and called you a whore? What a fucking dick, why does he think he has the right to just enter your apartment and get upset at what he sees.” Mel exclaimed.

You had asked her to meet you for coffee so you could debrief what had happened the night before.

“Mel, I don’t think you’re focusing on the thing I want you to.” you sighed “he told me that I strung him along and broke his heart, do you think he likes me?” 

“Sweetie, is the sky blue? Cale has liked you ever since the night he met you, that same night you met Tyson.” Mel said, laughing shortly after because of your reaction.

“I need to go, I need to talk to him.” You said rushing out the door.

“Good luck Y/n!” You sent a smile before sprinting to your apartment.

***

Luckily the coffee shop was less than a mile away from your complex so you got there quite quickly. Not wanting to deal with the shitty elevator you took the stairs, quickly regretting that decision by the time you got to the third floor, but nonetheless you still made it to his door in one piece, you just couldn’t breath. You quickly recollected yourself before knocking on Cale’s door. 

“Cale, please open up, I need to talk to you.” You said hoping he could hear the desperation in your voice. He did.

His front door opened and you were met with the sight of your best friend who looked just as horrible as you did, possibly even worse. His eyes were red, his nose crusted, and his face puffy and glistening from tears. You would have laughed if the circumstances were different, but right now his appearance crushed you. You had a staring contest, neither of you moving or speaking, your breathing was even rigged. You broke the silence, “Can I come in?” he nodded in response, fully opening his door for you to walk in.

“Look Cale, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have slept with him, well we actually didn’t have sex last night we were just- nevermind, but still that doesn’t give you the right to call me a whore. That hurt Cale.” You said trying your hardest to get the tears out of your eyes.

“I know I’m sorry, that was way out of line, but you have to look at it through my eyes” Cale paused trying to figure out his next words carefully. “-Y/n, I’m in love with you. I have been for awhile, and seeing you with Tyson was horrible, but seeing you broken because of him was even worse. I really thought you were making progress, you were hanging out with the guys and their partners more, you seemed like you were finally you again and to see you just throw all of that out the window because Tyson showed up on your doorstep unannounced hurts the most. What were you thinking Y/n?”

 “I wasn’t. Ok Cale, I wasn’t thinking. Tyson is back and he really wants to get back together with me and have me move out to Minnesota with him. He really wants me to be his again.”

“Do you want to be his again? Do you want to be anyone’s? Why can’t you just be your own person and not settle, not be ok with being claimed as an object by a guy who doesn’t even realize how good he has it with you? If you do move out there, what about your life in Denver? What about your friendships? What about your job? What about us? What about our relationship?”

“Cale you’ll always be my best friend, I’ll always lo–”

“NO DON’T SAY THAT! I don’t wanna be your best friend, I wanna be your boyfriend, your lover, the guy who is there for you no matter what, the guy who loves you no matter what. I want to be the one who lets you see how wonderful you are, to help you gain back that self confidence you lost to Tyson, I want you to see how much you deserve and I wanna give you that and more Y/n. I wanna marry you, I wanna give you your dream wedding, I know you’ve been planning it since you were young. I want to start a family with you, one boy and a girl. We'll name them those names you’ve had picked out since childhood, Dylan and Jane. I know you want Dylan to be older but you would be happy with twins as well. Y/n I want to give you the life you’ve always wanted, the one that you deserve, Y/n I–” 

Cale was cut off by your lips, you had never even thought of spending the rest of your life with Cale, until now, sure you had thought he was cute and over the past couple of months you had gotten much closer with him, but you never had considered that he could be the one for you, until now.

The kiss was desperate on both sides. Cale had wanted to kiss you since the moment he saw you, he wanted to know what you tasted like, if you chewed mint or fruity gum, it was fruity, he wanted to know how you felt wrapped in his arms, he loved it. Pulling away he chased your lips before sighing to himself and letting his head fall onto your shoulder. You welcomed his embrace by wrapping your arms around his torso, staying like that for a while before he felt wetness on his hair and heard your sniffling.

“Hey, hey are you ok? What’s wrong?” Cale asked gently, grabbing your jaw to make you look at him.

“It’s just, ugh it’s stupid-”

“If it is making you cry it isn’t stupid.” Cale told you affirmatively before motioning you to continue.

“Those things you said to me about my future, well our future, were you just saying that or did you mean it?” You whispered, ducking your head to try and hide from him, hoping that wasn’t all just for show.

“Every word of it.” 

You lifted your head to see Cale smiling softly at you, a blush spread across his cheeks. 

“Was it too much? I didn’t mean to overbear you or anything, you just needed to know how I feel.”

“It was a lot, I’m gonna be honest–” you both let out a chuckle, “but it was amazing. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, ever.” The blush on both of your cheeks were deepening as you began leaning in, letting your lips mold together once again.

***

It was a few hours later that Cale had to leave to go to the rink, time in between you first showing up and him having to leave was spent kissing, talking, baking cookies, and some more kissing. 

“Will you be there tonight?” Cale asked while double checking he had everything in his bag.

“I don’t know, probably not. I’m telling Tyson that we’re officially over and that I’m not moving with him tonight and I already know that conversation isn’t going to go well.” You answered truthfully, not wanting him to get his hopes up too much.

“Ok.” Cale nodded, picking his bag up and heading out the door.

“I’m sorry. Good luck Makar, score a goal for me tonight.” He smiled as he walked out the door. You stayed on his couch a little while longer before heading out the door and walking up to your apartment. 

***

“Tyson?” You shouted as you walked into your front door, “Are you in here?” You were met with silence, so you walked up to the guest room where he was staying and knocked on the door.

“Tyson?” You asked again, this time in a softer voice. You heard the sound of sniffling coming from the room and decided to enter.

“Tyson are you ok? What is wrong?” You asked, finding him curled up into a ball on the bed, tissues surrounding him.

“I’m getting traded. Again.” He weakly stated. 

“Oh Tys…” You didn’t know what to say, what to do. He had just joined the Wild and they’re already having him pack his bags. “-where are they sending you now?” 

“I have no idea, no one has picked me up yet. Why do they want me gone? I just started with them, am I that horrible at hockey?” 

“No Tyson, don’t say that about yourself. This is what happens in sports, players get traded. You can’t let it affect your game, and your life as well, that’s what happened when you went to Minnesota.” You worried he would take your bluntness the wrong way.

“I know that, it just still hurts.” You hummed at his response, not knowing what else to say. 

“Have you spoken to Cale yet? Or is he still ignoring you?” You instantly froze, how were you supposed to tell him that not only were you not moving back with Tyson, thus telling him you will not be getting back together with him, but also tell him that not only had you made up with Cale, you also made out with Cale.

“Yea, I actually just got back from his apartment. This is probably not the best timing but–”

“You’re not getting back together with me?”

“Tyson. I love you, I always will, but our relationship is not healthy. I need to put myself first, and I get how that might be selfish but I cannot put myself in a relationship that has made me feel unworthy of so much. I’m so sorry.” Now it was your turn to tear up.

“Y/n, I understand. I never thought you would actually come back to me. I’m sorry too, that our relationship made you feel like that, that I made you feel like that.”

“You’re taking this surprisingly well.”

“You belong with Cale, I hope you know that. Obviously I wish that we could be together, but if it's not me it should be Cale. Last night I saw how much it affected you, him being upset with you, and seeing you sitting out there for so long made me realize that not once in our relationship did you fight that hard to make things right with me, I didn’t either. It hurts, but I understand that he means more to you than me, but I love you so much that I wanna see you happy, even if it’s not with me.``

You smiled at him, sitting up and wiping the last of your tears away.

“-but if things don’t end up going well with Cale I’ll always be here.” Tyson added in a jokingly flirting tone causing you to laugh. 

You got up and instantly started getting ready, you were going to the game tonight and you were gonna wear your Makar jacket. 

***

“Oh Y/n you made it!” Mel said enthusiastically when you entered the friends and family box. “How did it go this morning?” She added needing to know all the details.

“Really well…” You trailed off trying to quiet your voice down so those around don’t hear all of your business. “-we actually kissed, like a lot.” 

“YOU GUYS KISSED?” Mel yelled, the opposite of the reaction you were hoping for.

“Shhh Mel come on dude.” You said moving your hands around trying to get her to understand how badly she needed to shut up. “Anyways, we kissed, and he confessed to me and told me all these sweet things like really sweet things that made me cry.” You told her, smiling at the memory of it.

“What kind of sweet things?” Mel asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Nothing like that you perv, but maybe I’ll tell you in the future.” You smiled towards your friend before you began paying attention to the game in front of you.

***

The Avalanche ended up winning their game in a shutout, 7-0 and letting them advance into the finals of the Stanley Cup, Cale also got a hat trick tonight. You followed Mel and the other family members towards the dressing rooms to meet up with the players.

You stood there leaned against the wall, nervously playing with your necklace. Gabe had exited the locker room a few minutes earlier and quickly took the attention of Mel, leaving you to your own devices while you wait for Cale, he still didn’t know you were here so you didn’t know how long it would take for him to exit the locker room. 

From: Makar🥰

Hey! Game is over and I just finished up, about to head back to my place. I hope your conversation with Tyson went ok, and I hope I can see you again tonight. Maybe you can go up to my apartment and I’ll meet you there? I’ll pick up some food.

To: Makar🥰

Look up dummy.

Confused, Cale looked up from his phone and met your eyes. His face instantly turned into a smile before he quickly walked over to you and dropped his bags.

“Hey you-” but Cale didn’t let you finish your thought, he grabbed your face and brought his lips down to yours, ignoring the hollering and whistling from the players around him. It wasn’t until Gabe shouted out a “Get a room you two!” Did you guys part from each other.

“You made it. Did you see my goals.” He whispered, a blush coating his cheeks.

“I did, all three of them. Congrats honey.” You whispered back.

“Ugh you’re gonna drive me crazy with that name.” He groaned, his head leaning back.

“Well I don’t have to call you it then, I can just continue to call you Cale.” You teased.

“No no no, please continue to call me that. You’ll get a nickname of your own soon, I just have to find the perfect one. Babe? No, that doesn’t sound natural. Love?”

“Oh I like that one.” You giggled a blush reaching your face.

“Alright love, let's go, I am starving.” Cale said, picking his bags back up off the ground.

“You’re not even gonna acknowledge me wearing your playoff jacket? I’m offended Makar.” You quipped, purposefully walking in front of him so he could see his name and number branded on your back. 

“Oh shit.” He said lowly, obviously flustered at the sight. “You look amazing, like really amazing. My last name looks pretty good on you, wanna take it forever?” He winked as you turned round to face him.

“One thing at a time Makar we aren’t even dating yet.” You said while walking up to his car.

“Well then will you be my girlfriend Y/n?” 

“Of course.”

“Great, now will you marry me?”

“Shut up and drive before I walk home.”

*A/N y’all this is the longest thing i’ve ever written lmao. i hope y’all enjoyed it, i kinda just write things and hope they make sense because planning and proofreading a story is for suckers. but if anything doesn’t actually line up to what happened in real life then oh well it’s a work of fiction. HOPE Y’ALL HAVE A GREAT DAY*

#ahonice #cale makar #tyson jost #nhl imagine #cale makar imagine #tyson jost imagine #colorado avalanche #ahonice writes #fluff #angst

[1bringthesun]

have any of you read “Dancing Girl?” gosh, it just made me sad. Mori Ougai is a really good author haha, hahaha. hah… h-

.

..

…

yeah i’m relating this to bsd! Mori. BITE ME!! ahem. so in this essay i will be talking about Elise and Mori’s relationship. i’ve already established i don’t see her as his “wife” or the object of his sexual desires, and i’ve also mentioned i like the “Elise is his daughter,” way of seeing things, however … well, there’s more than just that.

1) Elise represents his inner child

2) Elise preserves the memory of a dead lover and is his “partner”

3) Elise is a child-figure to him

those numbers will be reused in that order to mean the same thing later, but first, background and “Dancing Girl!”

so i think that, within the definition of his and Elise’s relationship, Mori embodies Toyotarou from “Dancing Girl” more than Kanei from “Vita Sexualis” (i think i learned which type of media went in italics and which sort in quotes some time in third grade, but it’s been entirely too long and therefore i’ve forgotten all of it and you’ll have to excuse my poor grammar if im messing it up). why, you may ask? well, first of all, Elise is literally from that novel. second of all, i’ve just skimmed vita sexualis (- an asexual) while “Dancing Girl” managed to catch my attention a lot more. plus, Mori was one of the characters that Asagiri explicitly stated he wanted to add in, and we all know just how evil Asagiri Kafka can be when he feels like it.

… why is the space so long ? why are these spaces different sizes?? this is really bugging me … but whatever, i’ll try my best to ignore it … (nevermind it looks perfectly normal when i post it i guess it’s just a. draft thing)

ahem, so, in “Dark Era,” Mori basically goes “damn Dazai you’re suicidal as hell! you remind me of myself hahah!” and i feel like that’s pretty concrete evidence Mori Did Not have a happy childhood (i mean, duh, considering he was trigger-happy to friendly fire as an important military man at 20 some years old) and was likely suicidal in the past too, to some extent. in that sense, the chains that tie Dazai down, if they’re Odasaku’s last words, are the Port Mafia for Mori. he cannot die as long as he’s sane and capable of leading the PM, because he’s basically the very embodiment of it.

⚠️SPOILERS FOR “DANCING GIRL!”⚠️

alright, onto “Dancing Girl.” i’ll give you a quick rundown. it’s basically about this college dude (25 or so) (haha that reminds me of the, “am i the asshole?” posts. i (M26) just fell in love with a girl (F18) of whom i’ve known since she was a minor and i was still an adult. i got her pregnant by some time after she became of-age, then i left her to pursue my career. am i the asshole?) (godamn it tai you just spoiled the whole novel) (i’ll put a spoiler warning up somewhere in the beginning) (bear with me) with depression who falls in love with a… looks at the parenthesis and sighs deeply.

he doesn’t see any point in anything because his life was just a glorified projection of his mother and school’s desires, so he starts being a little more hedonistic and learning about the arts instead of becoming a lawyer like they wanted him to. he meets Elise (her name) and basically immediately feels attracted to her in some way he can’t put into words (she’s 17ish when they meet btw) and starts teaching her things and basically acting like a sponsor to her. they don’t start getting romantic and/or sexual until some unsaid period of time passes. now i personally choose to interpret this as her turning 18 before they do all that stuff, but since it never explicitly says, well… yeah. Toyotarou is used to living his life in a cushy-ish manner as a child prodigy and what have you, but he eventually gives that away to live with Elise. that being said, his “giving it away” was less of a choice to be with her and more of a digression from a perfect machine into a person with his own stunted feelings.

she makes him satisfied, and he makes her very deeply happy, but eventually he chooses his career over her and she goes crazy because of how betrayed she feels- she really deeply loved him, after all. he pays her mother enough to keep her afloat and to take care of the baby he left in her stomach, and went back to Japan without another word. Toyotarou! you bastard!! (it’s not like he was without remorse, though)

anyway back to the numbers.

1) Mori’s past is pure speculation, but he was a military doctor ranked quite high as a very young man, one that didn’t hesitate to shoot someone on his own side no less (like i said) so it’s probably a given he didn’t have a stress-free childhood. this is an excerpt from “Dancing Girl,” in which i think explains the possibility that Elise represents the angry child inside of Mori that he never got to let out as a real child.

2) given what i said above, this also feels pretty self-explanatory. we basically only know two things about Mori, that he would do anything for the greater good (which is usually the PM/yokohama), and that he longs for a “partner” who will understand and not leave him. it’s possible Fukuzawa filled that role for a while, but Mori is a little unhinged and did some bad things out of obsession, which severed their ties because of Fukuzawa’s innate nature. Mori has called Elise his partner (tsuma, AKA person who stays by my side) (i know nobody says tsuma and means it that way but considering “Yatsugare san” exists (yes i’m looking straight at you, AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE), i wouldn’t put it past Asagiri to use tsuma in that manner) before and acts dramatic as all hell when she dies. it’s almost like … someone called Elise really DID die before?

3) this requires the least explanation. we already know Mori likes children in a non-pedo way, shown by things like how he helped Atsushi gather his courage in Anne’s room (which did nothing for him, btw) and his profession in the beast AU. but what sort of mafia don has a cute daughter?? that’s like ASKING for her to be killed. so Elise, the product of Vita Sexualis, is the next best thing he can have!

Elise also is a lot like the Toyotarou, while Mori acts more like Elise when they’re together. it’s just something i noticed watching the two interact in BSD and DG. the whole idea of having no autonomy is kinda Elise’s (BSD) thing, isn’t it?

my phone is now 20% and i have no charger. i have probably 69 viruses and also since i have apps like tiktok, wechat, and discord… you can imagine how much this poor device suffers, but i regret nothing. yahoo! hope you enjoyed my rant~

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #dancing girl #a german dancing girl specifically named Elise #bsd elise #bsd mori #mori ougai #Mori Elise #can i call her Mori Elise?? i mean she’s basically his daughter anyway so #Mori and Elise #toyotarou #god they make me sad #Mori is so traumatized and so babygirl #not all would understand #anyway i’m getting carried away even in the hashtags.. is this who we are??? #AH MY PHONE IS AT 5% WHAT THE HELL. #okay i’m posting it now i hope this gets some attention because otherwise i might go crazy /j

[acoldsovereign]

{{ Okay, here we go. A better/proper post about it. I know, I know. "But you said you wouldn't post--"

I'm breaking it this once. Only this once.

I'm still a reforming sociopath so being sad/sitting with intense feelings is very difficult for me. Concerning the circumstances, I'll try to express myself properly without the fear of "feeling things wrong".

I'm still new to the RPC. I started in March 2023, it'll be a year soon. God, that's so fast. I made minor and major mistakes in the process of learning Tumblr etiquette, but I learned from those instances all the same and nobody heckled me for it. Nobody made fun of me at all. Aside from the one incident I had late last year (it wasn't anyone in this community, though they did have a DBZ character on their roster), I've had ZERO problems with this community. I may be annoyed at stuff I see on the dash, or at highly specific or miniscule things nobody else sees if I ever venture out of my safe bubble, but ... I never felt unwelcomed, excluding my beginning months (which was when I didn't understand Tumblr culture). That changed when I started following and talking to people seriously. Everyone, even the shy people have been nothing but sweet to me and you all still continue to be really sweet and kind to me, even going as far to remind me to take my time when I push myself too hard. DBZ wasn't my first anime (that honor goes to Magic Knight Rayearth, Sailor Moon and Rurouni Kenshin), but it was one of the most influential I've ever watched. Unlike most in the community, I have a tumultuous relationship with the series due to being bullied severely in my childhood/adolescent years. I wasn't "allowed" to like or enjoy it because I was a girl, and it was a boy's show, even worse, it was deemed "white people shit". (Yes, this was said to my face by kids my age).

It was so incredibly dumb and disheartening to never be able to enjoy things because I associated being liked with survival. And yet, I still found a way to enjoy DB in secret. I started with Kai reruns. As you all know, even though I started at the Saiyan Saga, it was the Trunks Saga that truly converted and changed me-- so much so that he's my favorite character hands down, even after all these years. I ended up finishing the entire series on an old computer I no longer have. The pirating website I was using had a little chatbox where people were doing script RP (aka they used asterisks and all that). I thought it looked fun-- so, I made an account, username and joined in. I was a female Saiyan character (because why wouldn't I?) and I discovered the world of RP that way; that's how I started. DBZ is why I'm here with you all. The cycle repeated again and all of my old RP partners were nowhere to be found when I logged in one day. I got bullied again (which deeply hurt and confused me) and verbally/emotionally harassed online until I changed my username and deleted the FC I was using (one of them even told me to uh, you know. Do the opposite of live). I searched online for other RP forums and found them; started on other sites until I found my way to Facebook. I learned I had a knack for describing things, and making wholly unique characters that breathed life into the series they were from. I found my home, you could say. I've been in many other fandoms, made good memories but the majority of them are unfortunately tainted with the cruelty and lack of compassion others had towards OCs, especially of the female kind. Even in the Naruto community years ago, I had been at the end of a "call out/ship-vent" post for something I had no control over (the situation was actually caused by the person who wrote it, worse of all).

When I RPed in the DB fandom on Facebook, the only things that happened were: people's feelings getting hurt when my villain OCs said something rude to their characters (I always, ALWAYS, warned the other person in advance just to make sure they were okay with it), and people (mainly male muses-- canon and OCs) trying to reform them through having crushes on them or being "nice" to them. Romance plots, basically, or hoping for it. Though the latter was sometimes annoying, I managed to have fun, still. (Funnily enough, it mainly happened to the Cyborg/'Android' OCs I had, and not my Saiyans). The former though, kept me away from writing any more villains/antagonists for a long time because I didn't want to harm someone or be the reason they had a bad experience with roleplaying. Quite some years ago, I abandoned it due to life responsibilities and all that. Had to focus on college. I've been doing this since middle school all the way up to high school. I'm 26 now. I've been roleplaying for 14 years. I started when I was 12, at most. That means I've been a fan of this series for that duration of time and even longer since I didn't know RP was a thing. Because of DBZ, I've had long distance relationships. Because of DBZ, I've discovered my passion of writing goes deeper than what I thought it did originally. I even discovered what fanfiction was, through RP. I met people in the past through RP that I've developed crushes on and went on to date online. Met my first cosplay community (when I started cosplaying), made friends with local anime-shop owners before they closed down for good. I had a freaking Future Trunks Funko at one point! And I donated it to the shop because I loved the owners so much that I wanted them to have what personally gave me joy. I tried to write Trunks at one point, tried to cosplay him at another, so on and so forth. As many downs I had being attached to this series, I had more ups-- and gods, were the ups so HIGH. So, I'm much more willing to work with the series and all of the IP, because the truth is, something keeps making me come back. And it sparks my enthusiasm.

I've been told since starting my blog that my enthusiasm is infectious and I'm glad it is, because the truth is: this enormous body of work deserves it. My enthusiasm is because of Toriyama. This blog is here because of Toriyama. No, seriously. He said we never got female Saiyans prior to Super because he never could settle on a design. Growing up, I've been told toxic things about this series (usually from my own ethnic group, immature boys and creepy, grown men), only to find out the dude struggled with indecision! He was just like me at the time-- a freaking panster! Talk about a relief! I belong here!! I've always belonged, as a female fan!! My Saiyans, whether in RP or fanfictions, were female for this explicit reason. Long story short, Maiz is here because he planted that seed. I just took it and ran. As you all know, Maiz originally came from a fanfiction herself but, her current personality, motives and goals came from another character. The version you're seeing and writing with was specifically tailored to the needs of the RPC-- a villainous female Saiyan (with huge amounts of much needed Saiyan lore backing her up). I created this blog with my decade long experience of writing in mind. I wasn't expecting much when my best friend Koji convinced me to try Tumblr RP. I was so jaded. I thank her so much because if she didn't, I wouldn't have refound my drive for this series. My neverending love for various aspects of DB would have just stayed between me and my close irl friends. I wouldn't have met any of you. I wouldn't be here at all, and neither would Maiz. I wouldn't be surrounded by beautiful, amazing people. I wouldn't be as motivated as I am to improve my writing and vocabulary. Just ... Gosh. You guys remember when I said I can't think of Trunks' backstory too hard/too long or I'll get sad and cry? Well. It's moved to "if I ever hear Heroic, Episodic or Heaven Sent Trunks, I'll get sad" now. Gotta laugh at myself a little somewhere. I'm getting better at being okay with being sad. Bare with me. The fact that he based my favorite character on the Terminator movies and Trunks existing was why I even got into sci-fi to begin with (Terminator, Total Recall, Stargate, Star Trek, etc), just makes everything I've been though with this series hurt that much more.

To make matters worse, the first time I ever wrote within the sci-fi genre WAS the fanfiction Maiz comes from. It was a rewrite of DB Super, starting with the Broly movie, so naturally I decided it should be a blend of that and Space-Opera. Sigh. Do you see what I mean? By why this all hurts? I wouldn't be here at all if I didn't take what Toriyama said about female Saiyans to heart. Being told I was taking this IP too seriously over the years has paid off. I'm glad I'm so damn stubborn and resilient. I'm glad I have tunnel vision. Others would've broken if they went through the bs I did. If I had to go get bullied for liking Trunks over Vegeta and Goku all over again, I'd do it knowing what I accomplish later down the road. (But you know, I don't need to be bullied again-- nobody does). There's much more I could say but I'll leave it here as I think this is a full explanation enough. Thank you, Akira Toriyama (and the editors) for the Trunks, Androids and Cell Sagas. I'm glad Western movies inspired you. Finally, thank you for existing.

#Tw death mention #tw death #OOC: Out of Limits #{{ I'm grateful to you Toriyama. Thank you so much. Just in case I didn't get the point across clearly enough. ;w;