{{ Okay, here we go. A better/proper post about it. I know, I know. "But you said you wouldn't post--"
I'm breaking it this once. Only this once.
I'm still a reforming sociopath so being sad/sitting with intense feelings is very difficult for me. Concerning the circumstances, I'll try to express myself properly without the fear of "feeling things wrong".
I'm still new to the RPC. I started in March 2023, it'll be a year soon. God, that's so fast. I made minor and major mistakes in the process of learning Tumblr etiquette, but I learned from those instances all the same and nobody heckled me for it. Nobody made fun of me at all. Aside from the one incident I had late last year (it wasn't anyone in this community, though they did have a DBZ character on their roster), I've had ZERO problems with this community. I may be annoyed at stuff I see on the dash, or at highly specific or miniscule things nobody else sees if I ever venture out of my safe bubble, but ... I never felt unwelcomed, excluding my beginning months (which was when I didn't understand Tumblr culture). That changed when I started following and talking to people seriously. Everyone, even the shy people have been nothing but sweet to me and you all still continue to be really sweet and kind to me, even going as far to remind me to take my time when I push myself too hard. DBZ wasn't my first anime (that honor goes to Magic Knight Rayearth, Sailor Moon and Rurouni Kenshin), but it was one of the most influential I've ever watched. Unlike most in the community, I have a tumultuous relationship with the series due to being bullied severely in my childhood/adolescent years. I wasn't "allowed" to like or enjoy it because I was a girl, and it was a boy's show, even worse, it was deemed "white people shit". (Yes, this was said to my face by kids my age).
It was so incredibly dumb and disheartening to never be able to enjoy things because I associated being liked with survival. And yet, I still found a way to enjoy DB in secret. I started with Kai reruns. As you all know, even though I started at the Saiyan Saga, it was the Trunks Saga that truly converted and changed me-- so much so that he's my favorite character hands down, even after all these years. I ended up finishing the entire series on an old computer I no longer have. The pirating website I was using had a little chatbox where people were doing script RP (aka they used asterisks and all that). I thought it looked fun-- so, I made an account, username and joined in. I was a female Saiyan character (because why wouldn't I?) and I discovered the world of RP that way; that's how I started. DBZ is why I'm here with you all. The cycle repeated again and all of my old RP partners were nowhere to be found when I logged in one day. I got bullied again (which deeply hurt and confused me) and verbally/emotionally harassed online until I changed my username and deleted the FC I was using (one of them even told me to uh, you know. Do the opposite of live). I searched online for other RP forums and found them; started on other sites until I found my way to Facebook. I learned I had a knack for describing things, and making wholly unique characters that breathed life into the series they were from. I found my home, you could say. I've been in many other fandoms, made good memories but the majority of them are unfortunately tainted with the cruelty and lack of compassion others had towards OCs, especially of the female kind. Even in the Naruto community years ago, I had been at the end of a "call out/ship-vent" post for something I had no control over (the situation was actually caused by the person who wrote it, worse of all).
When I RPed in the DB fandom on Facebook, the only things that happened were: people's feelings getting hurt when my villain OCs said something rude to their characters (I always, ALWAYS, warned the other person in advance just to make sure they were okay with it), and people (mainly male muses-- canon and OCs) trying to reform them through having crushes on them or being "nice" to them. Romance plots, basically, or hoping for it. Though the latter was sometimes annoying, I managed to have fun, still. (Funnily enough, it mainly happened to the Cyborg/'Android' OCs I had, and not my Saiyans). The former though, kept me away from writing any more villains/antagonists for a long time because I didn't want to harm someone or be the reason they had a bad experience with roleplaying. Quite some years ago, I abandoned it due to life responsibilities and all that. Had to focus on college. I've been doing this since middle school all the way up to high school. I'm 26 now. I've been roleplaying for 14 years. I started when I was 12, at most. That means I've been a fan of this series for that duration of time and even longer since I didn't know RP was a thing. Because of DBZ, I've had long distance relationships. Because of DBZ, I've discovered my passion of writing goes deeper than what I thought it did originally. I even discovered what fanfiction was, through RP. I met people in the past through RP that I've developed crushes on and went on to date online. Met my first cosplay community (when I started cosplaying), made friends with local anime-shop owners before they closed down for good. I had a freaking Future Trunks Funko at one point! And I donated it to the shop because I loved the owners so much that I wanted them to have what personally gave me joy. I tried to write Trunks at one point, tried to cosplay him at another, so on and so forth. As many downs I had being attached to this series, I had more ups-- and gods, were the ups so HIGH. So, I'm much more willing to work with the series and all of the IP, because the truth is, something keeps making me come back. And it sparks my enthusiasm.
I've been told since starting my blog that my enthusiasm is infectious and I'm glad it is, because the truth is: this enormous body of work deserves it. My enthusiasm is because of Toriyama. This blog is here because of Toriyama. No, seriously. He said we never got female Saiyans prior to Super because he never could settle on a design. Growing up, I've been told toxic things about this series (usually from my own ethnic group, immature boys and creepy, grown men), only to find out the dude struggled with indecision! He was just like me at the time-- a freaking panster! Talk about a relief! I belong here!! I've always belonged, as a female fan!! My Saiyans, whether in RP or fanfictions, were female for this explicit reason. Long story short, Maiz is here because he planted that seed. I just took it and ran. As you all know, Maiz originally came from a fanfiction herself but, her current personality, motives and goals came from another character. The version you're seeing and writing with was specifically tailored to the needs of the RPC-- a villainous female Saiyan (with huge amounts of much needed Saiyan lore backing her up). I created this blog with my decade long experience of writing in mind. I wasn't expecting much when my best friend Koji convinced me to try Tumblr RP. I was so jaded. I thank her so much because if she didn't, I wouldn't have refound my drive for this series. My neverending love for various aspects of DB would have just stayed between me and my close irl friends. I wouldn't have met any of you. I wouldn't be here at all, and neither would Maiz. I wouldn't be surrounded by beautiful, amazing people. I wouldn't be as motivated as I am to improve my writing and vocabulary. Just ... Gosh. You guys remember when I said I can't think of Trunks' backstory too hard/too long or I'll get sad and cry? Well. It's moved to "if I ever hear Heroic, Episodic or Heaven Sent Trunks, I'll get sad" now. Gotta laugh at myself a little somewhere. I'm getting better at being okay with being sad. Bare with me. The fact that he based my favorite character on the Terminator movies and Trunks existing was why I even got into sci-fi to begin with (Terminator, Total Recall, Stargate, Star Trek, etc), just makes everything I've been though with this series hurt that much more.
To make matters worse, the first time I ever wrote within the sci-fi genre WAS the fanfiction Maiz comes from. It was a rewrite of DB Super, starting with the Broly movie, so naturally I decided it should be a blend of that and Space-Opera. Sigh. Do you see what I mean? By why this all hurts? I wouldn't be here at all if I didn't take what Toriyama said about female Saiyans to heart. Being told I was taking this IP too seriously over the years has paid off. I'm glad I'm so damn stubborn and resilient. I'm glad I have tunnel vision. Others would've broken if they went through the bs I did. If I had to go get bullied for liking Trunks over Vegeta and Goku all over again, I'd do it knowing what I accomplish later down the road. (But you know, I don't need to be bullied again-- nobody does). There's much more I could say but I'll leave it here as I think this is a full explanation enough. Thank you, Akira Toriyama (and the editors) for the Trunks, Androids and Cell Sagas. I'm glad Western movies inspired you. Finally, thank you for existing.
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I've never done one of these before, but PLOTTING CALL? I've got so many neat mutuals that I'd love to get writing with, so give this a like if you want me to pop into your IMs, which will likely lead to my giving you my Disco, so we can get chatting! It can be about plots, muse dynamics, both, doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be in either of their canon worlds either; want to create something totally new? I'm so down.
Just please have even a slight idea of something you might want to do with Doc, even if it's the most basic idea! I too will be thinking when I see who is interested. Just a sliver of an idea will do, a starting point, because from there we can take it and run and I probably know so little about your characters as it is, I'm sorry, that I won't quite know where to start.
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INBOX CLEAN UP.
after much deliberation, i've decided to wipe my inbox clean. the decision isn't easy for me, and i have thought about it long and hard before i make this announcement. i've been overwhelmed with threads and asks for a while, and every time i opened up my inbox to do some writing, the sheer number of asks i owe people really makes it difficult for me not to put pressure on myself and it's not a good feeling. ( to no one's fault but mine, of course. ) i feel like i really need a fresh start with my inbox. that, and because i know i'm bad at writing starters. i want to be able to reblog new memes that'd encourage new interactions with other mutuals i haven't written with. so, with that said —
aside from a few asks that i can still see myself responding to ( i'm limiting myself to 10-15 max ), everything else will be wiped clean. i'll reblog more memes and inbox prompts that would allow for some new interactions after this. again, i'm sorry if i have kept you waiting on ask responses from me. but i really need to do this clean up for my own sake so that i could get myself back into writing mood again. thank you so much for your understanding and for being patient with me.
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{{ i realized I only posted about it once on the old blog, made a single post here explaining why I moved blogs/remade this account and then privated it because I didn't want to have that negativity hanging over said new blog but uh-
Hi, hello mutuals-- It's me, Tina, lol. I remade my blog and moved from @coldsovereign-a (which is archived now) to here-- @acoldsovereign. I did it because the old blog stopped feeling good to log into.
And, I didn't want to give up so easily. I love Maiz too much and I didn't want this singular, creepy ass, racist, jerk-hole asshat from ruining her/my RP experience. There were other irl/personal issues going on around the same time too and it fucked with my muse majorly. 😭
I apologize if I suddenly seemed like I "disappeared" (and then reappeared) without explanation! I wanted to move on from what happened to me quickly and in the process of that, I uh, forgot about common courtesy for a while. My bad. (Tbh, I just wanted a new home for my girl so I could fully enjoy her again. Glad to say I'm back in the swing of writing her, so the move did help!)
Anyway, more RP stuff coming soon. Yay!
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