#like even the angle at which he bent is hilarious i love him

[petrichoraline]

ton around and find out 23.5

#23.5 the series #23 point 5 #lunaaylin #aj chayapol #view benyapa #im not happy with this one but i just cant make it work quickly enough to not lose motvation to do it at all #i kinda based the editing around the luna one but it backfired #shes lit from the front and aylin and ton arent #so its all grains now #anyways #look at my baby getting a reality check <33 #fuck him up aylin #userminty #usersufa #uservid #userspring #petri gifs #ps give aj all the awards for this im still laughing every time i look at him at the end #like even the angle at which he bent is hilarious i love him

[gamerdog1]

Devilman Crybaby Review

The human body, for all its flaws, is surprisingly malleable. With the billions of people on this earth, living their own unique lives, one can find a variety of shapes and forms across our species.

But while the body can be beautiful, if twisted, it can also become monstrous. Stories of transformations and deconstructions of the human body have been around since ancient times, with each culture having their own that are passed down from generation to generation. Why is it, though, that we fixate on these tales of human transformation, of monster-hood? Perhaps they confront our fears head-on, tackling tough topics such as bodily autonomy, disability, racism, sexism, and the like. Whatever is the case, stories of humans defying their bodies and undergoing transformations have stayed in the minds of many for ages, and continue to be told and retold for generations.

All of this is to say, that when a major series concerning this type of story is brought to me, I'm sure as hell to pay attention. One of my favorite story arcs is tales of human transformations, so when this anime was assigned to me for this month's Anime Exchange, I was very excited. How could it not be good? Its a guy who turns into a monster! Unfortunately, things aren't so simple...

Devilman Crybaby is an anime series produced by Aniplex, and released by Netflix in 2018. The series, based on the manga Devilman, by Go Nagai, follows a highschooler named Akira and his best friend Ryo. When Ryo and Akira discover a burgeoning population of demons in human disguise, Akira fuses with a powerful demon, and the pair form a crime-fighting duo bent on eliminating the monsters. Along the way, Ryo's motivations become more and more sinister, and Akira struggles with his newfound powers and the responsibility he feels comes with them.

Akira's journey, from 'crybaby' weakling to monstrous hero is shown in a way that prompts audiences to weigh the pros and cons of his new powers. Akira's new powers come with a more conventionally attractive and muscular body, one that brings him unwanted romantic and sexual attraction from women everywhere. He's the fastest on the cross country running team, but is plagued with nightmares of monstrous women. Rather than giving Akira this new, improved quality of life with his demon powers, the anime goes out of its way to show that even though he's a superhero now, his life isn't any easier.

However, it would have been nice if the series pushed this dichotomy a little bit harder. On the surface, Devilman Crybaby is a textbook example of the 'Descent into Monster-hood' story: a plot in which an ordinary human is infected with or otherwise acquires a monstrous alter ego, which they can transform physically into. The human grapples with this newfound power, and must struggle to control their violent urges or incredible strength, as they hide it from family and friends. (gif relevant)

While the first chunk of episodes follow this plot archetype well, giving an interesting take on it, the series doesn't show enough of Akira struggling with his powers for it to feel satisfying. Sure, he has a massive appetite, and runs like a lizard on cocaine, but we never really get to see how his powers clash with his 'ordinary' life. This, then, makes his transition into accepting his demonic nature feel a bit rushed, skipping the most important part of the 'Descent into Monster-hood': the descent itself.

The visuals of this series are... perplexing. Equal parts graceful and beautiful as it is wonky and hilarious, the animation is something that you can't look away from, for love nor money. Characters that are standing close to the center of the shot look wonderful, and move with slick, sweeping motions, their eyes sharp, as if everyone is wearing mascara. But when the camera angle changes, and the shot pulls further back, characters turn into shapeless blobs of color, leading to important characters doing important things looking laughable. A scene where Ryo waves a gun around and beckons for Akira to join him becomes instant comedy once the camera moves to a wide shot, for example.

This, combined with the total lack of shading on any living thing in this anime, leads to a look hurts the series more than it helps. Its amazing how the art style of this show swings back and forth, between really stylish and nice, to ridiculous. At times, I wanted to snap a screenshot of a scene and see if I could fix it myself with shading and more solid shapes at a distance, but its not like that would help.

Adding shadows to characters wouldn't be enough to distract from the most glaring issue I had with this series: its portrayal of women. I know that its basically common knowledge in anime these days, that you shouldn't go looking for good female representation in shonen/seinen series, but I believe that genres and demographics can change with the times. Every modern adaptation of an older property has the chance to do justice where the original failed, correcting the mistakes caused by short-sighted ignorance and old-school biases. Dororo, a series I reviewed earlier this year, shows that this can be done without an issue, without affecting the plot in major ways.

And yet, we have this series, which only ups the ante in terms of making women the target of every crime and misfortune, going out of its way to portray them either as screaming victims or walking pairs of breasts. Out of all the female characters in this anime, the amount that were never shown naked, in sexual situations, or dying horribly is pretty low, possibly zero. Yes, its a dark and violent reboot of an already violent manga, meant to be a cautionary tale about humans being too quick to judge others and destroying the world because of it, but this also came out in 2018. Most people would expect a little bit of decorum, at least.

The first incident, the club scene in episode 1, was shocking, but made perfect sense. An underground sex club full of drugs, topless women, and neon lights is the perfect setup for Akira's worldview changing as he fights his first demon. Its wild, colorful, and the bass is loud and constantly thumping, like a heartbeat. It makes the carnage seem surreal and fantastical, like the audience is tripping alongside Akira.

But then we learn about Miki, Akira's childhood best friend, and her illicit model job which she feels that she must do in order to make money. In one scene, Miki travels to her boss' house, and uses his bathroom to rinse off after getting caught in the rain. Unbeknownst to her, the bathroom has a one-way mirror, through which her boss takes nude photos of her without her knowledge. Later, when Akira meets with Miki on her balcony, a scene that was probably intended to further their romantic chemistry is shattered when we see that Miki is wearing a see-through nightgown.

Then there's Miko, Miki's running rival, whose main characteristic that she is first introduced by is her large breasts that bounce when she runs. Unlike her rival, Miko has a more compelling story, revolving around her accepting a demon into her in order to prove herself against Miki, all for a nickname and a sense of pride. When Miko finally admits her jealousy to Miki, the two share some tears, in a heartwarming scene of acceptance amidst strife and chaos. Her arc, of rising above manipulation and sexual assault to become a powerful monster, had me worried at first, but had me in a good mood by the end of the series. Yet no matter how important Miko is, no matter how cool they make her 'Devilman' form, the show continues to emphasize her breasts, which expand to a ridiculous size and bounce around with each movement like water balloons.

Not everything is horrible in this anime, though. The music is stellar, full of thumping club songs, and a remake of the original Devilman no Uta, the theme song of the original Devilman series. A lot of the soundtrack is now on my personal playlists for writing, because they have this dark, yet energetic vibe to them.

As well, the violence in this series is top notch. In a show where a teen turns into a monster and beats up other monsters, you'd be a fool to not expect some bloodshed. Still, this series lays it on thick, bathing in a pool of yellow and red blood from the carnage of each episode. Akira's transformation in the first episode is a stand-out moment for me, just because of its sheer coolness factor. His eyes, the point-of-view shot from inside the demon's mouth, Akira's chest heaving with effort, its just a beautiful shot that I wish I could print out and stick to my wall.

At times, Devilman Crybaby reminded me of Castlevania, the other major violent, monster-y Netflix anime with critical acclaim. While both shows have vastly different approaches to pacing, monster design, art direction, and nudity, both hit that sweet spot of 'one guy killing lots of monsters in a shower of blood' that kept me coming back for more every time.

Devilman Crybaby is not a bad anime, but its not perfect either. Its visual quality is inconsistent, its main character's story arc could use a bit more polish, and as someone assigned female at birth, it made me pretty uncomfortable with how it treats it's female characters. At the same time, when it looks good, it looks great, especially during fight scenes, which are full of guts and glory.

Still, my mind can't shake this anime's apparent obsession with naked women. Any time they appeared on screen, I wondered what the purpose of them being there was. Is every topless, moaning woman necessary for each scene? Am I supposed to be feeling something other than fear, disgust, or annoyance when they appear onscreen? And would it kill these guys to give Miko a sport's bra when she's running?!

I went into this series with three memories of it, from when I tried watching it when it first released: drug-addled club scene gone wrong, ripping a snake in half, and a guy running weirdly. While I sure got all three of those, they also came with more bare breasts than a womens' locker room, with all the subtlety of a clown. At least, as the end of the day, I know understand all the people shipping Ryo and Akira.

#anime and manga #anime review #review #film critic #anime #anime critique #devilman #devilman crybaby

[seancekitsch]

YOOO PLEASE GIVE ME AN ADRIAN CHASE MUTUAL PINING SITUATION WHERE THEY END UP KISSING DEEPLY AGAINST A WALL 🤪🙈

hey bestie here ya go pce nd luv

“Just team them up and let them fuck!” you hear Chris’ voice through the door before you even enter. Damn, its too early for this.

“Let who fuck?” you ask as you open the door to HQ, not bothering to take off your sunglasses as you plopped down between Adrian and Leota. 

“You and Thimble over there!”

You blink and stutter, but Adrian answers before you can.

“Dont call me Thimble, I’m a late bloomer!”

“You know thats not a-“

“Stop!” Leota yells, only to get the two to stop arguing. You nudge her in thanks and she gives only the slightest nod in recognition. 

“No, thats not what’s happening,” Emilia interrupts.

“Adebayo and Economos are staying in the van, Chris and Adrian are taking the east, Y/n and I will go west.”

That checks, thats solid. You zone out after you hear the main details. You’re sure you can mesh out the little stuff later. You’re hungover, but the man next to you seems not to be. The unbearably cute, totally not hungover, hilarious as shit man next to you. It’s hard to focus on anything other than him. You remember last night, everyone had left the bar except for the two of you. You’d done something pathetic, maybe, but you pretended you didn’t know how to play pool so Adrian would teach you. Emilia and Chris know you’re a bit of a pool shark, but why would he? You let him lean in close against your back, trying hard not to lean back, press your ass against him, as he bent you over the pool table to get the best angle. The amount of liquid courage and the weeks you’d wanted to kiss him were needed to even attempt that.

Adrian, similarly, can’t focus on this meeting either. All he can think of is you, you, you. You make him feel…things. Anything. Frustration, anger, joy, even maybe love. Chris spent the morning telling him all about how you could beat anyone blindfolded in pool after he bound in here excited about the supposed progress he’d made in woo’ing you. He loved being that close to you. He almost kissed you last night but that nagging doubt he hasn’t managed to kill yet stopped him short.

“Take a breather, regroup in ten!” Emilia says, and it snaps you from your thoughts. 

You stand quickly, swaying a little as last night hits you again, and make a beeline to the door that leads to the alley. You need fresh air like you need a hole in the head, which you do probably also need after that embarrassing display in front of the man you like last night. 

The second you’re in the alley, you take a deep breath, and rub the heel of your palm against your sternum to ground yourself. 

“Shame we aren’t paired together,” you hear from behind you, and whip around a little too quickly to see Adrian standing there.

“Damn right it is. We make a good team,” you offer back, lifting your sunglasses for the first time since you left home this morning. 

“Right? just like in pool,” his tone sounds like that same teasing he does when he kills someone.

“I could even show you some moves,” he offers, and it’s not clear if he know what he does to you, the butterflies he causes in your stomach.

“oh… Yeah? What moves would those be?” almost a falter, but a smooth landing. 

He steps forward, and you take a step back instinctually. 

He steps forward more, and then only stopping when you gasp at the feeling of the brick wall against your back.

“Well first, you have to trap them. I mean, if they can escape, you can’t kill them, right?”

You nod, shoulders relaxing as his hands find their way to the bricks on either side of your head. 

“Then what?” you ask, feigning innocence. You know exactly what position means.

“Find their weak spot,” he whispers, before smashing his lips against your own. It’s messy and sloppy, but so are the two of you sometimes. His lips travel around your face, your jaw, your neck.

And then he bites down right below your pulse point, earning him a wanton moan.

“That your weak spot?” he teases, and you smack him on the back playfully. His hands leave the wall to grab at you, one hand finding the base of your neck; the other one hiking your leg up around his hip. His lips descend back against your own, his glasses fogged up and cheeks flushed. 

“See, I told you they needed to team up!” 

And the two of you freeze. A perfect moment ruined by your mutual best friend. 

Both of you laugh, and you peck him twice more on the lips before untangling from him. 

“Hasn’t played pool, fucking bullshit,” Chris continues, and you all laugh your way to the van, Adrian’s arm around your waist. 

#adrian chase imagine #vigilante x reader #vigilante imagine #adrian chase x reader

[thatgoblin]

RE Peeps and Their Favorite Sex Positions

Because I can.

Based on this because it's hilarious.

Chris- Missionary/Doggy Style

He likes to watch your face as he fucks you. It makes it easier for him to find those spots that you love by seeing your face twist in pleasure when he finds them. Also Chris likes how deep he can go with your legs over his shoulders.

When you're fucking him (because this man needs to be pegged and fuck if those noises would send you over alone) he prefers doggy style. He falls apart quickly and can only keep his ass up for you to pound.

Leon- Stand and Deliver/The Butter Churner

Leon loves going deep as he can, holding your wrists back as you're bent over in front of him lets him go balls deep and control the speed and force. You feel so hot and tight when you're bent over that it's hard for him to control himself and not cum too soon.

When you're fucking him, he likes to be folded in half, making it intense and tight. Anything feels big when your body is constricted, but especially when you lift his pelvis and drill into him. The angle hits his prostate dead on and it takes very little time for him to cum and it usually ends up on his face.

Jill- Pretzel Dip/Table Top

When you're fucking Jill, she wants to see you, but also doesn't want just the missionary position. So she likes laying on her side as you straddle her leg and lift the other over your shoulder so she can see and feel all of you.

But when she's fucking you, she is in charge. Jill will absolutely make sure you cum hard. She doesn't mind doing a bit more work, standing up while you're laying down.

Carlos- Scoop Me Up/Cowgirl

Carlos wants to be as close to you as possible. He also likes slow sex because it feels good for longer, he never liked how it was over so quick usually. Fondling your chest and front, he'll press kisses to your neck as he rocks into you.

For when you're penetrating him, he wants to ride you. It always makes him hot when he's taking you deep inside him, going slow as he lifts himself and teases both of you before he's a mess of whimpers in your lap.

Piers- Face Off/Flat Iron

Piers loves being in control and loves when you're in control as well. With you facing him in your lap, the two of you can take turns setting the speed and force and angle while giving each other messy, desperate kisses. The man loves his kisses.

When you're on top, he prefers to be on his belly. His cock isn't hanging or being teased, meaning he lasts longer as you fuck him. With you straddling him as you lean over him, you cover more of his body and he secretly loves that because it makes him feel safe.

Claire- The Seashell/The Chairman

Claire is flexible and will use it to her advantage. She loves how open her pelvis is when she puts her feet behind her head, letting you tease and toy with her as you please. Not to mention the angle has her tight as you go deep.

But when she has you at her mercy, she wants you bouncing in her lap. Facing away means she can toy with your chest and front easily, making you desperate and needy.

Wesker- Leap Frog/None

Wesker wants you head down, ass up so he can stay in control and fuck you as hard as he wants. He'll go till you're sobbing and begging for reprieve and then go even longer till he's satisfied.

You don't fuck Wesker, he fucks you.

Nikolai- G-Whiz/Modified Wheel Barrow

Nikolai likes it simple and easy for most days and with your legs over his shoulders as he slams into you, it feels heavenly. So simple and easy but also so pleasurable. It doesn't hurt that he's able to go deep and hard either.

On the rare occasion that you fuck him, he likes to bend over to touch the floor as you plow into him from behind. The blood rushes to his head, making him a bit dizzy and more sensitive, which makes your job easy. Just grab his hips and go to town!

@abysswhiskey11 @lemonaidpanda @lonely-af-fangirl @girl-obsessed-with-things @mmmm----15 @depressedthebluefox @whimsywispsblog @singingsiren98 @parkerschurros @chrissyreid @bohica160 @death-is-beautiful @scariusaquarius @piers-wifey @sebbytheraccoon @bsaa-bitch @hex-touchstarved

#resident evil headcannons #resident evil #headcannons #chris redfield #leon kennedy #jill valentine #carlos oliveira #Claire redfield #piers nivans #albert wesker #Nikolai Zinoviev #chris redfield x reader #leon kennedy x reader #Jill valentine x reader #Carlos oliveira x reader #piers nivans x reader #albert wesker x reader #nikolai zinoviev x reader

[cloveroctobers]

September prompts — 1. Coffee smell ; Coco Cruz

Prompt from this list.

September song choice: yuna, “coffee”

•*•*•*•*•*•^•^•^•^•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

Coco usually picked up on everything. There wasn’t much he missed when it came to you. Surprisingly he was home before everybody that evening and he knew something smelled different before you even walked in the door. It wasn’t until you passed by him entering the kitchen that he latched onto your back jean belt loop, dragging you to him.

“You could have made me buss my ass.” You argued as you were now in Coco’s lap, his hands wrapped tightly around your waist.

He pressed his defined nose in the crook of your neck and inhaled. There it was. That profound scent he found all around the house when he got in, it was on your skin. It was different and not what he was used to smelling on you.

“What is that, mamita?”

You angled your body looking at coco in humor, “that would be my skin that you’re sniffing away at? You’re right you know? why would I need a dog when I have you?”

“Oh haha, so fucking hilarious.” Coco flicked the slide of your face which you laughed in response at.

You got to your feet but it took some time since Coco liked to be annoying like that and wouldn’t budge at first. Once he did he watched as you bent down to pick up your bag and place it on the counter. You spun around, your backside resting against the counter to see the man you loved still watching you.

It wasn’t like this wasn’t normal, Coco always had a way with how he stared at not just you but anyone. Everyone else became his target in a way and right now it was you.

“What?”

“You changed your signature scent, what for?”

You scoffed, “it’s just a new body scrub. Letty actually bought me a sample when she was out with some friends at the mall last week and I tried it out since she kept bugging me about it.”

Coco couldn’t be mad at that. He liked that his kid was bonding with someone else he cared about. He actually found it kinda cute that the both of you would pick up some things that the other thought they would like. It felt like this was becoming more and more like a family he deeply desired.

He got to his feet and with each step he smelled you. He knew leticia loved her iced coffees and shit but you weren’t really a coffee person. Anything that had too much caffeine in it, you weren’t really vibing with and resulted into other vitamins and nutrients to give you energy—especially for your morning shifts. So he did find it a little strange when he picked up on it, at first he didn’t think it would be leticia— he automatically thought of you. Guilty.

You took the extra time on your self care and self love sessions and that included smelling good. It was one of many things Coco picked up about you when you first crossed paths and for as long as he’s known you, this was different.

He rested his hands beside you, keeping you against the counter, “I mean it’s not a bad smell unless it’s on your boss’ breath.”

Laughing you agreed wrapping your arms around Coco’s neck lightly playing with the hair on the back of his neck, “can’t argue with you there.”

“It’s does remind me too much of Letty and I don’t wanna be thinking of her when—

“Don’t finish the rest of that sentence, I get it. But she did something nice for me so I’m going to keep using it until it’s done. It’s only pint size so we’ll deal with it, okay?” You pecked his lips, “even if I have to pop a excedrin.”

Coco shook his head, “fuck that. If it’s making you feel bad just throw that shit out, she won’t notice, matter of fact I’ll do it for you.”

He untangled himself from you to head throughout the house to find the said item. It didn’t take him long searching through the bathroom drawers to find the black pint item and he opened it and sniffed at it some more. Coco didn’t mind coffee, he usually took his black with no sugar and rarely with some cream. Letty was putting him on to trying flavored creamers or some shit but he only drunk that shit straight when he really needed it. He could live without it.

He played catch with the coffee pint as he made his way back to the kitchen to see you closing a pill bottle. He glared at you as you smiled sheepishly at him and he snatched the bottle from you to read it himself.

“You know this has caffeine in it too, right?”

“No?”

He shook the bottle right in front of your eyes with you gripping his hand to hold it steady. Your eyes zeroed in on the text as Coco read them out loud, “excedrin, migraine, Acetaminophen, Aspirin and caffeine.” 

“Oh fuck.” You doubled over just as the front door opened.

You stood up straight, “quick, Johnny, punch me in the chest and I’ll puke it all up.”

Coco gave you a look before his mouth could say what he was clearly feeling in response to that.

“Is this some kind of kink discussion I walked in on ‘cause I can leave?” Letty announced her arrival as the two of you looked at the teen.

Coco bluntly let it all out, “no it’s your coffee scrub that you’ve bought for y/n? It’s making them sick.”

“Ohhhh,” Letty nodded her head, “yeah after the third shower I stopped using it too. Made my head feel like my heart was where my brain is.”

“Could have fooled me, weren’t aware you had a brain.” Coco teased while Letty rolled her eyes and sent the long haired man a middle finger.

“Anyways, I switched back to my all time fav the OGX coconut coffee scrub instead. If it was making you feel like shit, you could have just told me, y/n. I assumed you weren’t having any bad luck with it so I figured you liked it, which was great that one of us did.” Letty went over to the fridge and began digging through it.

You were at lost for words while Coco was smirking at you.

“So, what’s for dinner?”

Coco kept that smirk on his face as he replied, “I was thinking of trying this new coffee rub steak out on the grill, what do you think, y/n?”

You shoved by him making him laugh as he reached out for you but you swiped out of his touch continuing on your way to your shared bedroom. You needed to lay down.

“My bad! I was kidding.” He called out to your retreating form until he turned to Letty, the two sharing a laugh before he opened the pint again taking a whiff, “you think I could use this on the steak?”

“Ew, you better not.” Letty hissed, “but call me when dinner is done.”

Coco hummed to himself setting the coffee pint on the counter next to your purse.

•*•*•*•*•*•*••*•*•*•^•^•^•^••*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

Continue along with the September series here.

#Spotify #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #coco cruz #johnny coco cruz #richard cabral #coco cruz x reader #letty cruz

[kisskissbanggang]

Preoccupied

Masterlist | Feedback

[3.2k, 100% smut, sub!Chan x dom!Female reader, idol!au, femdom, teasing, fingering, pegging, Sir/Miss dynamic] 

Chan was notorious for taking longer to do the same tasks working late at night than he did during the day. During the day, he would be holed up in the studio for only a few hours before he got pulled away to do something else, but once the sun went down, he could be in there almost until the sun came back up. He would say he just got preoccupied, but everyone was more aware than Chan was that he didn’t like to think he was restless, and it clearly made it difficult for him to focus.

So, in abusing their powers as management, you were assigned to hang out in the studio with Chan at night as his production assistant. The angle, it appeared, was to imply that maybe if he had some help with all his hard work, he wouldn’t be up so late. The trick, apparently, would have to be that he didn’t know, so he couldn’t refuse beforehand.

Which meant that now Chan was staring at you, confused, as you let yourself into the room. He vaguely recognized you from meetings, and he spent that whole first night hardly getting any work done at all. The next night you were together, you made a point to look into it while he tried desperately to focus on his screen.

“Do you wish I wasn’t here, sir?” You asked as you hung out on the couch in the small studio, straight and to the point. Chan hung his head.

“No, it’s not that,” he sighed, “don’t think of it as a you problem at all. And please don’t call me sir. I just can’t believe management. They never had a problem before. This was always my time. That was the whole point.”

If you hadn’t been looking up from your laptop you would’ve missed it, but sure enough as Chan sat up to stretch his back and roll his shoulders, his hands slid up his thighs and you could see him subtly — but unmistakably — squeeze himself.

My time. Of course. The little deviant was in here every other night to jerk off in peace and maybe get some work done, and now you were fucking up everything. But maybe you didn’t have to. Admittedly, not only was everyone aware of Chan’s miserable work/sleep balance, but that he was handsome and eager to please, and you were certainly privy to this observation as well. You decided to be a good assistant and make yourself available. Chan rolled and rotated his shoulder again, combined with a flex in his neck to obviously try and work something out.

“You look sore,” you casually observed, “rough day at practice, sir?”

Chan shrugged and winced. “You don’t have to call me sir, really. I landed on my hand wrong when I went to slide on my knee and ended up overextending.”

“Can I take a look at it? I bet you haven’t told anyone yet.”

He smirked over his shoulder as he nodded for you to come closer. Chan rolled out the chair next to him. “What makes you say that?”

“You don’t like to cause trouble,” you grinned as you closed your laptop and sat beside him. You wheeled the computer chair more behind him and gingerly felt his bothersome shoulder. Nothing felt actually injured, thankfully.

“You got me,” Chan smiled softly. “Prognosis, doctor?”

“I’m sure if you keep off it for a night and hopefully a day you’ll be just fine,” you mused, “but maybe you can rub it out in the meantime.”

“What?” He asked suddenly, his eyebrows dubiously raised.

You raised yours in turn, hoping to take the heat down a little. “Like a massage. I give great back rubs if I do say so myself. Want one?”

Chan relaxed, but not without letting the wary look in his eye linger on you, all over you. It was almost hilarious how instantly excited he was by the prospect. “A back rub? Sure, I’d love one.”

You started so genuinely, letting the heels of your palms press into Chan’s tense back, his knotted shoulders, and he was even letting himself enjoy it. He relaxed back into the chair, his head lolling back a little before he actually groaned in satisfaction, but even then you waited to see if he would give a little more of a hint that he was enjoying it on more than a professional level.

Finally, you got your wish. Chan’s hands gripping the armrests of his chair caught your eye, just like his hips writhing the smallest amount in his seat. You would test the waters, of course, and make sure you weren’t pushing him as you scooted your chair closer. “You know, I bet you carry a lot of tension here, too,” you noted as you let your prodding fingertips run over the front of shoulders, almost down over his chest. He froze momentarily, but he quickly relaxed into you as your hands slowly led your arms to wrap around him from behind, massaging and even teasingly groping him from time to time. His eyes seemed to watch your wandering hands, even as his breathing hitched when you playfully grabbed at his defined pectorals or even teased your fingers down towards his toned stomach. Chan shivered as your lips ghosted over the expanse of his neck, but he hesitated to ask you to actually do it. It looked like you would have to keep teasing until he pushed more, and you were happy to do so.

“What are you going to do to me?” Chan finally, quietly asked, his voice wavering under the weight of his curious arousal.

“You’re the boss,” you shrugged with a grin, “you tell me. I’m here to help you, remember?” You wondered if this was it, if this was where Chan would suddenly come to his senses and put an end to all this.

“Touch me.”

Chan’s request was hushed, bashful, but you weren’t going to let him get away with it that easily. “Touch you where?” You firmly encouraged him, your lips barely brushing against the shell of his ear and making him shudder. “Show me.”

You watched, endlessly pleased as Chan timidly took your hand and guided it down his torso to the thick erection presenting itself through his pants. He pathetically groaned as he figured out you were waiting for him to say it. “I’m so hard. Please touch my cock.”

“Yes sir,” you softly cooed with a smile. Chan whimpered as you all too easily worked his pants open and got a grip on him. He keened at your touch, his hips desperately trying to rut into your hand before you snaked your fingers into his hair and yanked him to lean his head back against your shoulder. “No touching, sir,” you condescended as you pressed your lips to his exposed neck, “you’re supposed to be letting someone else do all the work.”

“Yes, you’re right—“ Chan struggled out as he squirmed, “you’re just — fuck — you’re going so fast.”

“You’ve been staying up too late, remember?” You laughed, loving his beleaguered exhales fighting to stay quiet, “It’s bad for business. You’re supposed to be getting more rest, so I’m helping wear you out.”

“But do you have to go so fast?!” Chan whined, now much more dire as you were making a mess out of his cock, his precum streaked along the length and pooling at the base. When you squeezed, he actually whimpered like a little dog.

“Maybe if you’re good we’ll take it slow next time,” you simpered before you lightly swatted the head of his cock before stroking him again. Chan dumbly nodded, clearly intrigued by the idea of doing this again before he threw his head back in shocked pleasure, only compounded as you lightly bit into his throat and surprised him into an orgasm. You let him spurt into your hands as he sighed in ecstasy, and he didn’t shy away as you made him help you lap up the mess.

Even after he curled up on your lap and dazedly scrolled through his phone on the couch for an hour, humming contentedly as you stroked his hair, Chan still walked you out at midnight, only a few hours after he’d arrived. Management was thrilled. Still, you both refused to reveal your little secret. When you saw each other at a meeting the next day, you both starkly avoided eye contact. He did look cute being a little nervous, though. It made you want more.

So this continued, every other night arriving at the studio to find Chan dutifully waiting for you to call him Sir even while you tortured his dick and made him whimper. He even played into the game. You would be Miss, just like any good assistant, and soon enough Chan learned to sit still while you ground your pussy against his thigh after you pulled his pants down around his ankles. He could even behave while you had him bent over your lap so you could milk his abused cock until he pretty much cried into his orgasm.

But it was a night where you were doing just that when he surprised you. As you gleefully soothed and spanked him with his pants pooled around his shoes, Chan seemed to writhe and squirm each time your fingers brushed up between his legs, getting dangerously close to his hole in a way that was only supposed to make him bashful, but you heard it. You heard the distinct impassioned whine you’d come to adore. His low groans hitched into a yelp as you clutched his length between his legs, your fingers on your other hand reaching over to tease his entrance some more.

“Is there something I can help you with, sir?” Your tone was saccharine, mischievously affectionate. He hesitated before nodding timidly. “Say it, sir. I can’t help you if you don’t.”

“Please, miss,” he croaked, “please touch me there.”

You saved him the added embarrassment of making him be more specific as you made him suck on your fingers anyway, making sure to force him to be nice and sloppy so he could really feel how deliciously naughty this was for you when you pressed the wetted tips of your pointer and middle fingers against his entrance. It didn’t take long before he couldn’t keep his legs shut, rutting against your lap like a slut and his cock and parted lips both drooling on the floor as you worked your digits deep inside him. Chan came so hard in the palm of your hand this time that he almost cried. You gladly held him in your arms after that, even allowing yourselves some extra time to really calm down and hang out so you could kiss his hair and let the aroused flush escape his cheeks. Management wouldn’t be thrilled, but you were, as you chastely kissed Chan goodnight on his cheek with an invitation to be waiting and ready for you next time.

And he was. Ever the gracious boss, you entered the studio to see Chan straddling his usual computer chair backwards, his legs hanging off the sides as he seemed to casually be working. It was wordless, the way you closed the door behind you and sauntered over, but you could both feel how heightened the two of you were. You plucked off the hood of his pullover and stroked your fingers through his hair before you pulled open your bag. He turned to watch now, cutely curious and eyes widening as you set a bottle of lube beside the console. Next, you drew out a modest strap-on with a small vibrator attached. You savored his apprehensive gulp, the way his hands flexed open and closed where they rested on his knees, but he nodded in anticipation nonetheless as you lifted the hem of your skirt and revealed your lack of panties. You pulled on the harness and let the vibrator nestle against your clit, stroking your rubber cock for effect before you took his chin in your hands and pulled him close.

Chan quickly got the idea as his lips touched the tip of your fake cock, and he actually let out a self-conscious moan as he sucked it deep in his mouth, his cheeks hollowing to take in the girth. You smirked as you gripped his hair and fucked his mouth, his pouty lips looking so pretty and shiny with spit where they wrapped around your length. Finally, you pulled him off of you, a string of saliva still connecting his lips to your faux dick before you turned him back to face the desk. You pulled out the chair next to him and slid up right behind him just like that first night, only this time you worked his pants and underwear down and around his ankles before you pulled his ass back towards you on the chair.

Your fingertips met much less resistance this time when you played with his entrance, and you smiled thinking of Chan experimenting at the dorm in his free time. He shivered as you grabbed the lube and applied it liberally to the dildo and you got up some, pressing a hand to the small of his back to make him arch his hips before you could tease your length between his legs.

“Please,” Chan licked his lips and groaned, not even needing to be told to ask for it anymore, “please fuck me, miss. I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“Yes sir,” you smiled as you prodded the head of your cock against his hole. Chan shuddered and let out a series of broken moans and whimpers as you slowly rocked your hips against his ass, his depths gradually becoming more used to how much your length was filling him up. You both shivered now as you bottomed out, your fake cock now flush to the hilt inside him. Chan hissed our a curse under his breath, clutching onto the chair he was bent over as you began to fuck him, and you knew there was little to no need to be gentle anymore. Rather quickly, you were able to manhandle him into quite the compromising position, wantonly sucking and drooling on your fingers as your other hand teased and groped his defined chest, even pinching and thumbing his erect nipples to make him squeal.

“Tell me you like it,” you sweetly commanded as you gripped his hips.

“I love it, miss,” Chan automatically obeyed, “I feel so fucking full.” You gave your good boy a satisfied smack on his ass as you fucked him, making him beg and plead for more. And, of course, if he wanted more you would give him more. You snatched him by the hair and arched his back to pull him close, making him cry out before you clapped a hand over his mouth.

“You know what you need to do tonight, sir?” You darkly smiled.

“What, miss?” He struggled out between your fingers.

“You’ll need to make me cum first. Now I want to see what other positions I can put you in.” You tapped a hand on Chan’s hip to let him know you were pulling out before you gently grappled him from his chair. He got the feeling back in his fawn legs for a moment before you tossed him back onto the couch. He watched, rapt and entirely at your mercy as you pulled him to the edge of the seat, tugging his shoes and pants off so you could more easily draw his knees up to his chest and pin them there. Just to add more to the burn of humiliation he seemed to crave, you stripped him of his shirt as well. It was a risky move, but you were so overcome by your arousal by now, so overwhelmed by his submission that you felt it was worth it for a little fun. You smirked at his shaking eyes as you brushed the tip of your strap-on against his quivering entrance. The vibrations against your clit were working in tandem with his look of absolute ecstasy when you slid back inside him to emphasize the orgasm building inside you. “My goodness, sir,” you cooed, “this would be quite the compromising position to be found in.”

“What?” Chan asked, eyes quaking in just the way you wanted.

“You heard me,” you teased, “our strong, manly leader with his legs in the air getting fucked by an assistant like a little slut.” Chan’s eyes screwed shut as the blush draping his cheeks deepened in the cutest way, and you grabbed his cock in your hand to stroke him and make him squirm before you thrust your hips against him harder. “Say it, sir.”

“Say what?” Chan’s lip quivered, entirely at your mercy.

“You’re smarter than that,” you admonished as you jerked him faster, “say you’re a little slut, say you love to get fucked.”

“I love to get fucked like a little slut,” Chan complied, hardly decipherable through his whimpers.

“Very good, sir,” you praised, “now you better not cum until I do.”

“Yes miss,” he choked out, “yes, I won’t cum until you do.” You and Chan clutched onto each other as you were still pinning his knees to his shoulders, your other hand not letting up its relentless pace on his cock as your orgasm was climbing its peak. You were infatuated with the tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. So much so, in fact, that you were still blindsided by your climax finally hitting you.

“Fuck,” you croaked, “I’m gonna — now, cum with me now—!”Your orgasm hit you like a punch to the gut, making you clench and shut your eyes so tight that you saw stars as Chan let out a shattered moan, his cum shooting out onto his chest, his chin, his throat. He was an absolute mess, his brow dripping with sweat and his cheeks and chest still beautifully flushed, even as you finally calmed down enough to pull out of him.

Chan’s chest heaved as he fought to regain his breath and composure, but even still he couldn’t help but shudder as you knelt down and came up between his legs as they once again regained feeling. You took your time, gently and sweetly lapping up his mess while he watched, absently stroking your hair as he calmed down. Chan gratefully let you help him get re-dressed and fix him back up until he was good as new, albeit maybe a little stickier and ruffled. But as you pet his hair back into place, Chan surprised you one more time as he pulled you onto his lap on the couch, holding you in his arms before he tipped your chin down to finally kiss you.

“I know this is our little secret,” he murmured against your lips, “but I stay up too late outside of the studio, too.”

Really, you thought about it. You’d avoided giving him your number before now and you mostly only ever saw him at meetings. Any chance Chan had of trying to ask you out seemed slim, especially as he looked so sweetly into your eyes.

“Sure,” you excitedly nodded, “we’ll see.”

#stray kids smut #skz smut #skzsmutnet #sub!idol #bang chan x reader #bang chan breakdown #OOPS this turned out way bigger than just a drabble oops

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 3

Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to read this

There are so many left out details here that I did on purpose for future explanation within the fic for the element of mystery I'm trying to brew . Hope you don't mind! Enjoy reading❤

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

1.7k words.

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: cursing, violence, injury and fighting.

*

Without thinking, I drove my fist towards the voice, regretting it the instant I recognized who it was.

Tai'chi.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I found my fist encased in his hand. He seems unfazed by my reaction, seemingly expecting it.

“Oh shi— I’m so sorry!”

How the hell did he sneak up on me without making a sound??

“Feisty- I mean, I should be the one sorry, for startling you...And for following you. I just wanted to, make sure you were alright.”

I blinked. He was concerned?

He spoke up when I didn’t respond.

“So, are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. Just, disappointed.” I breathed in and sighed as he gently let go of my fist.

Oh, and his scent helps right now. He smells so...wonderful I don’t know why. It’s not like I’ve been surrounded by disgusting odors my entire life. I swear I’ve inhaled appealing scents like lilac, sandalwood, cinnamon, even rain has its particular smell! But Tai'chi, he—he’s something else entirely.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else like, I don’t know, maybe getting lunch with some of your friends or in a classroom?” I asked. I wonder why he would even bother to be in my presence. Anyone should be creeped out by the way I spoke up earlier. I mean, who does that? Plus, I did throw a stranger down to the floor. But part of me knows he deserved that.

Definitely.

“Want to talk about it?” He ignored my question. Tai'chi was now sitting cross-legged beside me, the oak’s root in between us. His deep azure eyes studying, watching me carefully.

“What?”

“What you did back there, wasn’t something a plain, timid college girl would do.”

Wait. He knew I was pretending to be one?

“Yes, I knew.”

“You can read minds?!” I stammered out. He can read my mind this whole time?! Shit.

He held up for a second before a boisterous laugh broke out of him and echoed through the circling trees, scaring away some birds perched above. I don’t know if I should be offended or flustered by his guffaw. It was so, so deep and rich and —

What the hell Pearl? What if he's reading your mind??

Tai'chi faced me again, sighing once he calmed down.

“To answer your question, no, I can’t read minds. But like I stated before, your face gives it away. Or your brows since you’re wearing a mask, but I can imagine your expression.”

I let out an incomprehensible noise.

“How did you find out I was pretending to be…you know,” waving my hands around.

“The moment we made eye contact this morning when you entered. And the way you shifted your body at the last second to prevent yourself from plunging into the trash bin, I knew you were something more. Your eyes and your actions show your experience in combat. A skilled warrior would notice these little things right away.”

My jaw fell open, and I’m sure he knows. He left me speechless.

Should I tell him I am a trained martial artist and a weapon wielder?

But we just met like 5 hours ago!

He seems trustworthy. And he’s an orc, didn’t they have a code of honor or something?

My thoughts ran wild I swear Tai'chi could hear my mind, screaming.

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t wish to. And I must’ve sounded, creepy when I admitted I’ve been observing you. But before anything else, will you allow me to introduce myself, for real this time?”

“You mean your name isn’t Tai'chi?”

Letting out a chuckle, he replied, “I swear to you, my name is Tai'chi. What I mean is, I want you to know my full name. Do you understand what this implies, Pearl?”

I racked my brain for a moment, trying to recall what my parents said about orc traditions when my uncle, papa’s brother, married the orcess he fell in love with. Something about an orc’s real name being reserved only to those they’re close to?

“I guess so? But what exactly?”

“I want to become your friend.”

I couldn’t help the slight warmth creeping into my cheeks behind my mask. He can’t see it, can he? A friend, he says. A friend!

“Oh,” was all that came out. A pause and;

“Uh, I mean, I’d love to be your friend! I never had an actual friend before. I mean, have cousins, but we aren’t acquainted enough to consider myself their friend— I mean— uh, what should I do?” I blurted out a little rapidly.

He smiled. He actually smiled! Oh, damn, it was adorable!

Tai'chi was about to say something, but he snapped his mouth shut and grimaced. I was confused by his sudden change of mood, along with his scent.

Then it struck me.

The two of us shot up when multiple smells filled the air, making my stomach clench.

We were followed, not just one but six individuals. One of them was the pretentious human from earlier.

My day can’t get any better. And is that a baseball bat? Great. Fucking great.

I swear. I’m cursed to find trouble anywhere I go.

“Hello, freaks.” The guy in the middle began. “Whatcha doin’ out here in the forest?”

The others began spreading out and surrounded us.

“Planning something nasty I bet.” A human to my right spat.

“You will pay for what you did to me, you bitch. Just so you know, my father is the dean of this university. No one will ever hear a word of what I did here and what we will do to you.

'Dean’s son, David Silverstone, assaulted by an insane student in the woods within campus grounds. His friends graciously helping him fight off the lunatic until she passed out and was carried to an isolation chamber for monitoring, later finding out about her severe psychological disorder.’ Now wouldn’t that be a hit in the papers!” The bastard and his companions cackled and snickered, some of them stealing glances between my legs and I felt my skin crawl.

Tai'chi growled lowly, silencing them for a brief moment. He was getting mad but held his ground.

“And you,” the human pointed, “you beast. It won’t be hard antagonizing you, people will no doubt believe you were the one who violated the schoolgirl and left her in the woods to die.”

This fucking—

I felt a hand on my shoulder just as I was about to start, gently gripping, in hopes of trying to calm me down. He knows they were baiting us on making the first move. He shook his head, and an idea popped up.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to make my voice as girly as possible, sounding so hilarious, like those overdressed, flashy high school girls with flowery perfume so strong I wrenched every time I get a whiff of it.

Provoking them would do.

“Oh, I’m so scared! Should I get on my knees and beg for mercy? Oh please, great and noble one, have mercy on my poor soul.” My voice laced with mockery and sadness, with my legs fake trembling and my arms flailing.

And did Tai'chi just snort?

“If you beg nicely, I will perhaps give you a chance to— ”

My sudden wheezing interrupted him and I laughed. Hard. I can’t believe he bought my terrible acting! I expected him to straight-up be offended rather than actually bite the false bait. He is dumber than I thought.

I was holding my middle by the time I was done. Tai'chi’s shoulders were moving slightly, probably chuckling and trying to hold back his amusement.

“Did you honestly take it seriously??? I can't— oh my God!” I choked out once more before I went on.

“There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna bow to you, not even one degree of an angle, you foolish, idiotic, spoiled, bastardized son of a bitch.”

His face was turning red out of rage and oh! Wasn’t that a sight to behold?

“You brat!” Turning his head to the others, he yelled, “What are guys standing there for?! Get them!”

Good.

Perhaps they didn’t catch my hands slipping on my beloved crimson knuckle dusters out of the bag when I was laughing then, tugging down my hoodie’s sleeve to hide it.

“Don’t move.” I told the orc, whose eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“But—”

“Just don’t.” I said with my voice firm. I will take them on my own. I can’t have him getting in trouble and people blaming him for being an orc. Imagine that. The ones who attacked him will be viewed as victims because they were up against him, an orc. Numerous humans will jump at the chance to throw dirt at their race, a single act of self-defense treated as a one-sided assault to humans, the thought of it being enough to somehow remove all of them from the city, but everyone knows it's not that simple. Dimwits.

I strode forward without earning his response, waiting for the first person to come at me.

I took my stance, although it was more of preparing half of my body since I was still hiding both of my hands.

They all seemed confused and hesitant, which was what I was going for. To me, and those with experience in hand-to-hand combat, this is one of the most basic stances, but fundamental, nonetheless. A simple form that can determine the outcome of a fight. With my right foot forward, left foot back, both firmly planted to the ground, and my dominant hand wearing my dusters. In their eyes, it was…wrong, foreign. Some may even say it’s an open vulnerability, showing how inexperienced the opponent is, but oh, it is the exact opposite.

I didn’t see Tai'chi’s expression, though. I was on alert and getting into my zone to peer at him, one motion that can put me in a compromising position. Did he notice my brass knuckles? Likely.

“Scared to hurt a little girl like me?” I enticed.

Finally, the one beside their alleged leader charged at me.

A typical amateur approach.

The guy, about two inches taller than me, threw a right punch, which was a huge mistake.

Predictable.

I smirked under my mask and dodged it not a second before it connected. Making him falter as I grabbed his arm and brought it down to my knee, dislodging his joints.

A high-pitched scream of pain broke out of him as he dropped down on the forest ground, gripping his bent-off arm, cursing, but refused to rise and fight me again.

I gave him one last glance before I looked back at the others.

“Who’s next?”

****************************************

Those human shits just can't leave them alone! Interrupting their supposed-to-be official introduction! There's more to the orc that meets the eye *wink* Who is he exactly? Why was he so... observant?

Part 4 is actually on its third revising— and I'm still trying to come up on HOW to phrase my next words to lead to part 5. I let me brain take a break from spewing senseless words for now so I'll probably post the next part of this later or tomorrow

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! And I'd appreciate it if you have some advice for me, or just point out some mistakes I made! Thank you

Ps. This is really not perfect formal writing if you're wondering. I just type away whatever comes into my mind, and then proofread it to the best I can. And I hope you don't mind me using a lot of spaces. It... sort of makes my mind clear and continue moving forward, and it helps me when I'm reading it again, mentally taking note that with every line between spaces there's a slight pause and again, read it clearly like you were the one thinking it. I don't know how to explain how my own brain works but I guess that's that?

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

#orc #orc x reader #fiction #original work #my writing #orc x human #monster x human #exophilia #orc lover #oc #orc boyfriend #slow burnnnnnn #i think #happy holidays! #monster boyfriend #badass fem lead #bamf! #terato #monster lover #terato writing #art #monster x reader #monster romance

[robertsheehanownsmyass]

Lemme in on that Valentines event action! I’d love it forever if you could write Sean & my girl Aev + smut & maybe a little bit of comedy? Let me know if you have any questions about my oc and I will provide 💖

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this one even though the world at large seems determined to distract me and keep me from getting things done, so I hope I did Aev justice and hopefully made you smile! :)

Sleet Happens!

Sean Falco x Aev Swift (OC from A New Beginning)

Sean and Aev warm up after a mishap in bad weather.  Check out the series this is based on, A New Beginning, and here is more about Aev!

TW: Smut! 

Aev wrestled the brown paper grocery bags out of her trunk and slammed it shut, attempting to balance the bags on her hip. She put her keys in her mouth to keep her hands free, and began making the treacherous approach to her boyfriend’s apartment, navigating the ice and slush that had begun to accumulate in the frigid Portland street. She saw the door to the apartment open, and Sean’s brown curls peeked out; he caught sight of her and smiled. Aev’s shoulders slumped in relief; she was stressed out about navigating the half-block to the flat with the bags and the ice. Sean started trotting carefully down his steps to come meet her.

Aev began shuffling towards Sean; maybe she could meet him halfway. As soon as the thought entered her head, however, her feet went out from under her, and her groceries, purse and pride all went flying.

She lay flat on her back, silently wishing into the spitting sky that fate would let her rewind the last 30 seconds, and that she hadn’t just fallen flat on her back in the slushy gutter. She could feel the icy cold wet beginning to seep into the seat of her pants and all other pressure points making contact with the ground. She turned her head and saw a can of beans rolling down the sidewalk. How far did I chuck those bags? She thought to herself.

Aev lifted her head and saw Sean hurrying toward her. She attempted to get one foot under her to stand, but could not gain purchase. She attempted to roll onto her side for leverage, getting herself even more wet in the process, and was able to scramble to her knees.

Sean had reached Aev and grasped one of her hands. “Oh thank goodness you’re alright,” he said, and Aev could see his expression cracking; she could tell he was struggling not to laugh.

“Oh you can go ahead and laugh,” she spat, and Sean let out a short bark of laughter, as if it was steam being carefully contained under a lid. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quavering with the effort of remaining composed. “But if you could have seen yourself. Your limbs all sprang outward in different directions, and the bags flew…” he paused to stifle a giggle. “Honey, they flew so far. You threw them so hard before you went down…” and then Sean started to lose it. He couldn’t contain it any longer, and he practically dissolved into peals of hysterics.

Aev had to admit that she must have looked pretty absurd, and she couldn’t help but smile despite her discomfort, which consisted of being cold, soggy and wet, but thankfully uninjured. She grabbed her hooting boyfriend’s hand and he tried to pull her up, but all she succeeded in doing is pulling him down on top of her, as the angle caused Sean to lose his footing on the slick pavement as well.

“Ah fuck!” Sean yelled as he went down, with a loud OOF. This finally made Aev laugh in earnest. Sean rolled off the top of Aev and the two of them lay side by side for a spell, laughing into the sleeting Portland sky.

Aev and Sean somehow managed to get up and started looking for the groceries that Aev literally threw into the air; some items had ended up a half a block away on the opposite side of the street. Carefully, slowly, and not without repeated occurrences of slippage, they managed to gather up everything and made it up to Sean’s tiny little flat.

“Oh my god I’m soaked and freaking freezing,” Aev managed with chattering teeth once they were inside.

Sean laughed and rubbed her arms to help warm them. “You and me both. What do ye say we get into a hot shower and warm up?”

“I think that sounds sublime,” Aev replied, and Sean popped into the bathroom to get the water started.  He returned, and hugged Aev tightly to himself. “I’m sorry for laughing at you, but it was hilarious. I’m so glad you’re not hurt though.”

“Thanks a lot,” Aev said dryly, but not without humor. “But about that shower…”

“Yes?” Sean prompted.

“We have too many clothes on for a shower.”

“So we do, so we do,” Sean agreed. He unzipped Aev’s jacket and pushed it off her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. He slid his hands up her waist to push up her sweater, pulling it over her head and tossing it aside. Aev began to tug on Sean’s shirt, and the two of them took turns pulling off items of clothing and tossing them around the flat until they both stood naked. Sean bent to capture Aev’s lips with a kiss, and he tangled his fingers into her damp, sandy blonde hair as he began to walk her backward toward the bathroom, where the hot water from the shower was already sending puffs of steam out into the room.

In his increased lust and haste, Sean slipped while entering the shower with Aev and the two of them slammed against the shower wall. “Oof,” said Aev, and the two of them started laughing again.

“Aren’t we the clumsy mess today,” Sean laughed, and kissed Aev’s neck. He turned her around so her back was facing his front, and began trailing kisses down her back as she sighed. He knelt to accommodate a more southerly direction before pausing.

“What is it?” Aev asked a little breathily.

“You’re going to have a large bruise on your arse,” Sean said matter-of-factly. “It’s all red from where you fell. You look like a baboon.”

Aev whirled around and mock-slapped Sean lightly on the shoulder. “A baboon?! Really Sean!”

Sean laughed and stood up. “Don’t get me wrong,” he said, and bent to kiss a pinkened nipple. “A very. Sexy. Baboon.” Each word was punctuated by a kiss to the nipple and finished with a little suckle, making Aev moan lightly.

“You’re lucky I’m turned on,” she said and Sean chuckled with her nipple gently ensconced in his teeth, sending vibrations through her breast and making her shudder.

“How turned on are you, exactly,” Sean said while sliding one hand between Aev’s legs and finding her already slick. “Ah, I see.”

“Pretty freaking turned on, Sean Falco,” she replied. “So I’d prefer it if you would stop talking and fuck me, pretty please,” she said.

“Yes ma’am,” he said, and his mouth was back on hers. They kissed deeply and hungrily, their tongues warring and teeth clattering together, one or both of their jaws cracking with the fervent nature of their snogging, but neither was sure whose.

With no further preamble, Sean turned Aev around again, and she rested against the shower wall on her forearms. She bent at the waist enough to tease Sean’s groin with her ass, and he quickly knelt to lap at Aev’s sex, bending his head enough to lease her clit with the tip of his tongue before drawing his tongue back down the length of her slit. He stood back up and positioned himself quickly before entering her roughly, forcing her to reposition her arms quickly for balance as he slammed into her. She cried out as he rutted behind her, their bare skin slapping audibly in the steamy air. He groaned as her slickness provided no resistance for his thrusts, and he was able to pick up his pace even more, sliding in and out of her relentlessly and making her see stars. She dimly registered a growing soreness in her backside from her fall, and had the presence of mind to think fleetingly, I guess I am getting a bruise and ahhh---

Her climax started to build quickly, as this was the thrilling sort of sex that can’t happen all the time; the raw desire causing all romance and foreplay to be tossed aside in their passion. Her skin squeaked against the shower wall as her limbs started to tremble with ecstasy, the moans emanating from her increasing in their volume and register, and this seemed to excite Sean as well. His own moans mingled with hers as his orgasm arrived, and they came together in the hot water, his thrusts growing erratic and Aev’s limbs getting increasingly heavy, water dripping from their brows, skin pinkened from heat and arousal.

Sean slid out of her gently and Aev gingerly stood, slightly unsteady on her legs, and he gathered her in his arms and they rested against the wall for a while, just letting the hot water wash away the stresses from the day. After a while Sean lifted his head to kiss Aev gently on the forehead.

“That was--” he began. “That was--”

“Hot?” Aev suggested.

“Oh yeah,” Sean chuckled. “Literally and figuratively.”

She kissed him sweetly on the cheek. “Agreed. I’m glad to be here with you.”

“Likewise,” Sean smiled, and then his smile grew into a broad grin. “Even if you do have a red arse.”

“SEAN!” Aev yelled, and their mingled laughter could be heard from outside on the street.

xx

@joz-stankovich

@spaceclone-mom

#sean falco x aev #bad samaritan fic #robert sheehan character fic #sean falco smut #love stories event

[sylvie-writes]

Late to the Party

Listen to the song here➳ Late to the Party by Kacey Musgraves

Summary: You may be late to the party but you aren’t missing anything when your lover is all you need (Chris Evans x reader) 

Disclaimer: A line from the song was removed in order for me to write this. The line that was eliminated did not pertain to the story in any way so therefore I withdrew it. 

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, cheesy af

I apologize if there isn’t much✨flavor✨, I just really needed to get a one shot out and now was the only time that I could write something. 

They're blowing up our phones, asking where we are

“(y/n)! Are you almost ready, honey?” Chris was sitting by the door, having just finished lacing shoes. His brother, Ava, who was the birthday girl, and his sisters were all texting him and you simultaneously. The party had started half an hour ago but the two of you had gotten so caught up in relaxing, no really, you both were napping. After a long week of work, the party was long forgotten till Carly texted you, making sure everything was okay. You then checked your phone to see that the party had indeed started ten minutes ago, you and Chris running around, your minds completely going wild. So late for the party, you and Chris had used different bathrooms to get ready instead of waiting for turns. 

Scott had invited both you and Chris to Ava’s, a mutual friend, birthday. Being polite, you both impulsively agreed to show, not taking the consequences into consideration. That was Monday and now it is Friday night, one you both would’ve loved to peacefully spend inside with each other, not with the company of rowdy people. 

Just say we're almost there; we ain't even in the car

“I’m putting on my dress! Just tell them we are on the way!” Frantically, you slipped on the baby-blue, spaghetti strap, midi dress. Sure, everyone at the party would be clothed in flashy and fancy club attire but you could care less. You weren’t trying to impress anyone, you already had a man who loved you so much, even if you wore a trash bag. 

Sprinting down the steps, your white kitten heels caught the wood, causing you to slip and fall forward. Unexpectedly a pair of hands caught your waist and you looked up, Chris’s eyes were flooded with concern as you cautiously stepped down to the floor. 

I'm never late to the party if I'm late to the party with you

“You both are an hour late!” Scott hurriedly pushed you both through the venue door and into the sea of people, happily partying in the neon colored lights and loud dance music. You wrapped your arm in Chris’s, not wanting to get lost in the mass. Sensing your unease, Chris pulled you closer, pressing a small kiss to your head. 

The booming music made it impossible for you to hear a single word from anyone, prompting Chris to lean close to your ear and talk. 

“Sorry honey that we missed the party.” 

A sullen look coated Chris’s face, like he had ruined your night. You quickly patted his chest, getting on tippy toes to whisper back in his ear.

“We aren’t late to the party, because I’m already here with you.” 

In the bright lights, Chris saw your gorgeous eyes twinkle and a short yet cute wink shining back at him. Before he could say anything else, Ava came and swopped you both unwillingly away, towards the packed dance floor. People were laughing and shouting to the lyrics, waking both you and Chris up. Everyone around you was dancing with others, some flirtatiously trying to pick up someone. Women would walk up to Chris but once spotting you, they’d walk away. All you wanted was to spend the night with Chris and not out here, with the two of you on edge. A night with Chris was just enough of a party for you.

Ava had dragged you into the middle of the circle, trapping you both within. Standing on your toes and looking between people, your eyes could spot Chris’s siblings standing by the drink bar and you pulled the uncomfortable man beside you, towards them. 

By the time we get there, everybody will be drunk

“About time you guys showed up!” Carly came over to hug you, then switched places with Shanna, embracing Chris. 

“You want something to drink!” Even though Scott was yelling, the music made it sound as if he were whispering. Finally deciphering what he had said you turned down the drink, Chris too. From the looks of it, most of the alcohol was long gone, many red cups littering the floors and people’s hands. On the dance floor, people who were dancing were constantly dropping to the floor due to their intoxicated state, making you and Chris giggle just a bit.

The Evans clan was busy talking while Chris bent down to whisper in your ear once more. 

“Aren’t you just sooooo glad we came?” Your boyfriend then turned his head so you could whisper back, staying bent so you wouldn't have to reach up. 

“As long as I have you, I’m perfectly fine.” At your lovely confession, Chris’s heart fluttered and he straightaway planted a kiss on your cheek, a small snicker leaving your mouth as your shoulders scrunched up at the surprise affection. 

Chris knew right there and then that you were the one. You’d always be the one. 

The chairs will be on tables and the band will be unplugged

You had only been there for half an hour, the party now well over. The dj’s table had been unoccupied, music stopping, lights were back to their original yellow aura, and the venue workers were setting up some chairs at the bar. 

We're gonna look real good, but we're gonna look real rude

From the start, you both knew that showing up late was impolite but it was better to show up than not at all. In your minds, there was no such thing as being late to the party and missing the fun, for you both already had each other and that was enough. 

The music may have been stopped, the drinks empty but who needed those things to make a party entertaining when you had your lover? 

I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I'm...

Late to the party with you

“We really aren’t missing anything.” Over at the corner table, your friends and family long gone, you and Chris were in your own little world. Currently, Single Ladies was blaring and people were obnoxiously shouting the words, messily dancing along, some forming a line dance. You and Chris just stayed in your little corner, your arms around his neck, his hands at your waist. Softly, your head was laid on his chest as he placed his chin on your resting head. The two of you slowly swayed, not to the beat of the fast song but to your own melody. Looking up at Chris, you placed your lips against his, murmuring a response.

“Nope.” 

Chris’s lips then locked with yours in a slow and intimate kiss, the sounds of the party tuned out. 

Oh, who needs confetti?

We're already falling into the groove

Soon, the song stopped and a loud pop sounded, awaking you and Chris from your enchanting dance that seemed like daydreaming. The two of you quickly turned to face the dance floor, now seeing the confetti that was falling from the sky. From your view you saw Scott shooting an instagram video with Carly and Shanna, taking use of the confetti overlay. Laughter over came you, and Chris followed your line of sight, chuckling along with you. The Evans were always happy drunks, making the night amusing. Chris recorded the video from your angle, to show Scott later when he’s sober. The way he was dancing was absolutely hilarious, even sober, Scott was a literal comedian. As brothers, the two were always trying to find ways to humiliate each other and you’d just watch, not wanting to become a victim of their pranks and antics. 

And who needs a crowd when you're happy at a party for two?

The world can wait

'Cause I'm never late to the party if I'm late to the party with you

Another song came on and the party goers all went back to the dance floor. A perk for you both, the fresh steak and sides were left untouched since most of the crowd went to dance. You and Chris filled your plates to the brim, both laughing at your extreme pigging out. At the table, you two devoured the food while making some small talk, Chris mentioning a new project and you telling of how your cousin was coming next week. Conversations with Chris were always easy, the words just flowing as you both enjoyed each other’s company. 

Let's promise when we get in that we'll try to get right out

Fake a couple conversations, make the necessary rounds

Scott, Carly and Shanna came back from dancing, indulging in some food while you and Chris just listened to their chatter having already eaten. 

“We are gonna get some drinks, be right back!” Chris hopped up from his seat dragging you along, thoroughly confused.

“Why are we-” 

“We aren’t.” You crossed your arms and defiantly looked up at the man.

“Then what are we doing?” It was hard to believe that you weren’t getting drinks as you were literally now standing in front of the bar. Chris bent to whisper in your ear, as the music was still bellowing throughout the venue. 

“We are socializing so we can leave.” Chris’s eyebrows raised, proud of his plan. You laughed at his goofy expression, kissing him happily, pulling away with a pucker.

“Mr. Evans, you sir, are a genius!” 

With that, you and Chris walked up to the bar, plastering fake smiles on your faces, making small conversations and politely listening to the people that you knew as acquaintances. 

These kinda things just turn into "who's leaving here with who?"

But I just want 'em all to see me come in

Late to the party with you

As you talked with people, many of them babbled on about who they’d be leaving with. Most of the people there were envious that you had settled down and had someone who loved you. Walking in with a man who was yours and was loyal, felt powerful. So many of the people here were just running around looking for somebody to love. 

Someone who would be their best friend.

Someone who would be there for them.

All of which Chris was for you. 

Oh, who needs confetti?

We're already falling into the groove

And who needs a crowd when you're happy at a party for two?

You and Chris soon left the bar going back to the table, his siblings and friends long gone once again. Sitting at the booth you pulled out your phone to show Chris some pictures of Dodger when you dressed him up this morning. Last week you ordered a tuxedo suit for the dog because why not? It was a lightning deal on Amazon okay? Telling the whole story, Chris just cackled then showing you pictures of when Dodger wore a sweater. That dog was so mellow, he’d let you do anything to him.

Times like these may seem stupid to some, but with Chris you could be goofy and domestic. You could send him funny videos and he’d respond. Sometimes he’d call you in the middle of the day with some really cheesy joke to which you tell him “Keep trying”. The two of you had a bond that was hard to explain but that suited you both just right. You were puzzle pieces that came together to make a gorgeous picture. 

The world can wait

'Cause I'm never late to the party if I'm late to the party with you

An hour passed and the others were still not back from god knows where. Once you and Chris had finished looking at Dodger pictures and ordering him a hot dog costume, you turned on a movie and shared some earbuds that were in your purse. As per usual, it was a Disney movie, this time Oliver & Company, in honor of beloved Dodger. 

Half way through the movie someone tapped you and Chris on the shoulder, the two of you throwing down your headphones and turning your heads, unfortunately in the same direction, definitely not expecting the other to be there. Your foreheads clashed and immediately Chris leaned forward to kiss the forming goose egg, your hands resting on his forehead as you were about to do the same. Chris then leaned back and moved his hands down your face, the two of you just gazed into each other’s eyes, soon breaking out in laughter, mindless of poor Scott who was just awkwardly standing there. 

“You two are so cute it's disgusting.” With that Scott just left, forgetting his announcement and going back with Ava to cut some cake. Your laughter stopped and you both watched as Scott jogged away, resuming your giggles before getting up for cake. 

Late to the party with you

Oh, who needs confetti?

We're already falling into the groove

And who needs a crowd when you're happy at a party for two?

The world can wait

The other Evans soon came back from socializing and cake, more friends at their sides as they came to sit at the once vacant table with you and Chris. Everyone spoke loudly, buzzed from the drinks in their hand while you and Chris shared a large cup of coffee, trying to stay awake for the sake of others around you. 

About ten minutes had passed and Chris’s eyes were drooping, your own twitching from lack of sleep. It was definitely time to go home. 

“Sorry guys, but we are gonna call it a night.” You stood from the booth, holding you hand out for the sleepy and now shocked Christopher. Playing along, Chris nodded and bid his siblings and friends goodbye, you doing the same. 

On your way out, you grabbed Ava from the bar to wish her goodbye and to give her a small gift. Ironically, on Wednesday, Chris reminded you of said party that was up-coming, which in the long run you both still forgot. That day after work, you picked up a small pendant from Kohl’s, Chris picking up a card on his way home too. 

'Cause I'm never late to the party if I'm late to the party with you

Ava solemnly walked you both to the venue’s door, expressing her gratitude but pleading for you to stay. 

“But you already missed a lot of the party earlier!”

You looked at Chris, a smile gracing his lips and yours too.

“We didn’t.” A confused look made its way onto the woman’s face. Not wanting to explain, you just politely shook your head, letting her know that it was nothing.

“Happy Birthday, Avie.” Leaving the door, a confused Ava waved at you both, still in a trance, trying to understand your perplexing words. 

Unbeknownst to Ava, you and Chris hadn’t missed anything at all. You both didn’t care for the things of the party, you just needed each other. 

The car ride back home was silent, yet comfortable. Chris’s hand rested over your thigh as you laid your head on his shoulder. At some point you had nodded off and upon parking in the driveway, Chris placed a kiss on your temple to wake you gently. 

Sleepily, you leaned into Chris’s side as you both went to the bedroom, cleaning up and changing into more comfortable clothing. Soon, Dodger joined you and Chris as you all snuggled up in the bed, spending the remaining hours of the day in the loving hold of your boyfriend. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Finally content, you and Chris laid in each other’s arms, both of your presences just enough to make the night enjoyable.

No, I'm never late to the party if I'm late to the party with you

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagine #steve rogers #ransom drysdale #andy barber

[beelsnack]

Hi! Can I get how the Brothers and Diavolo would react to an s/o that's on her period? Thanks.

Hi! These are a lot shorter than what I usually write, I hope that’s okay!

Lucifer: He has never been once to coddle, and he doesn’t intend to start now. That being said, he knows how excruciating the experience can be for human women. The fact that she can still accomplish her tasks, stand at her place in the Student Council chamber and deliver her reports, and just in general go about her day like she wasn’t bleeding from the very center of her being was impressive. So when he saw her take a whole bag of Hell-sauce chips into her room, he decided to let that one go.

Mammon: The human’s shifting woke him up out of a sound sleep, and he practically whined when he felt her warmth leave the bed.

“Hey, come back...”

“I will, just one sec.” she shut the bathroom door behind her, so Mammon just assumed it was your standard early-morning bathroom break until he saw a red spot where she had been laying.

“Uh, hey, what - “

She emerged from the bathroom with a wet wash cloth, scrubbing furiously at the spot. It came out fairly quickly, not even a stain. She tossed the wash cloth in the hamper and went over to her dresser. By the time Mammon had shaken the sleep out of his eyes, she had pulled out a new pair of underwear and sleep shorts and was on her way back to the bathroom.

“Should I be concerned that you can calmly get rid of a bloodstain?”

“Nah. Human female rite of passage.” she disappeared into the bathroom and Mammon flopped back down.

“And we’re the monsters.”

Levi: She was god tier when it came to smack talking in multiplayer. Levi had an ongoing thread of some of his favorite clap backs from her. It was always hilarious when some trash demons thought they could intimidate or demean her even as she was wracking up head shots.

“Hey! Camping’s a cheap move!” she yelled over the voice chat. Yes, they lived a few rooms away from each other. Yes, the still talked over voice chat. Yes, they were aware that it was kind of dumb.

“Cry about it, human!” the leader of the other team sniggered before three other guys decided to rush her. Levi called out her name as the death notification popped up in the corner of his screen.

“Ugh, you guys suck monkey balls!” her voice crackled a little bit, and Levi heard the distinct sound of a controller being slammed on a desk. He winced.

“Aw, is the little girl gonna cry?” the other guys mocked. “What, are you on your period or something? Get over it!”

There was a weird echo as Levi heard her voice from down the hall and in his headset. “Yes I am, and unless you want to join me in bleeding, shut up!”

There was a distinct drop in talking from the other team, and Levi tried not to laugh too hard as he picked up his D.D.D.

Leviachan: You need some chocolate?

Human: Yes please. :)

Satan: Humans were fascinating creatures, but sometimes Satan just couldn’t connect the dots in their logic.

“Wait, so let me get this straight.” Satan was idly carding his fingers through her hair as she laid next to him on her bed with a hot water bottle held over her abdomen. “Human women shed the lining of their uterus once a month, and deal with the subsequent headaches, nausea, cramping, bloating, etc.”

“Yup.”

“So they can one day get pregnant and give birth, which is even more painful.”

“Correct.”

“But they’re considered the weaker sex?”

“I don’t get it either.”

Asmo: He wasn’t used to being rejected, and his instinctual reaction was to pout. “Come on, darling, why not?”

She scooted back against the pillows and scowled. “It’s not a good time of the month, Asmo.”

...Oh. Well, now he felt like an ass. And not in the good way.

“Ah, I’m sorry, darling, I didn’t realize.” he rerouted his original trajectory and kissed her lightly on the forehead. “You just let me know when you’re ready. You know I’m up for anything.”

“Asmo, don’t be gross.” she rolled her eyes, but smiled fondly at him.

“You won’t be saying that later, darling, trust me.”

Beelzebub: She was usually down to go try out new restaurants with him, so Beel couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed when she said she wasn’t feeling up to it. But, he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, so he let it drop. But he knew she would have absolutely loved the dessert menu. Especially the Devil’s Food cake, she would probably get a kick out of that.

“It’s open.” her voice was slightly muffled when he knocked on the door. When he poked his head in, he saw her laying face down on her bed, legs bent at weird angles. Probably the only position that offered any relief.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, stepping fully into the room. She turned her head, but tried not to move her body too much.

“Alright. What’s in the box?”

“Cake.”

She moved at that. “You brought me cake?”

“Devil’s Food.” he was right, she did giggle at that. “Chocolate makes it better, right?”

“Chocolate makes everything better.” she accepted the takeout container and dug right in. “Thanks Beel.”

Belphegor: He barely stirred when the door to his room opened - he just assumed it was Beel and didn’t bother fully regaining consciousness. When he felt a small frame wiggle into his bed next to him, though, he woke up a bit.

“What are you doing?”

She practically buried her head in the pillows. “Too bright in my room.”

Belphie paused. “Is it bad this time?”

“Mhm.”

He sighed and draped an arm over her back - not too tight, he didn’t want to jostle her. “Wake me up if you need anything, okay?”

Diavolo: She stared at the tea cup quizzically, sniffing at the steam that rose up from it. “We haven’t had this blend before, have we?”

Diavolo grinned. “I had Barbatos brew it. It’s supposed to help with menstrual cramps.”

She flushed, looking away. “You don’t have to be so blunt about it.”

“Hm? Oh, right,” he laughed. “I forgot how squeamish humans are about this. It’s not something to hide, my dear. You won’t scare off a demon with biology.”

Her face was a similar color to his hair as she picked up her cup. “...Thank you.”

#shall we date obey me #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo

[elle-imagines]

Hello there! Can I get a hc about the mlqc guys and their first times (not with MC but in general. How old they were, if they were nervous, etc. Can be fluff and/or nsfw)

Mr Love: Queen’s Choice First Times

~1800 words

NSFW Below!

Kiro

Kiro lost his virginity to his partner since highschool, during the beginning of his stardom (maybe 19 or 20). Like him, it was fun, awkward, and something he can look back on and smile at. It was at his newly bought apartment, celebrating alone with video games and high-calorie snacks.

He was very excited, and this enthusiasm made up for his nervousness. Like everything around Kiro, he manages to make it warm, inviting, and somehow hilarious. Kiro didn’t hesitate to do something they asked, whether kissing or touching them where they wanted.

His performance anxiety definitely pervaded the bedroom, so there was constant questions of “Did that hurt” or “Am I doing good?” throughout the night. A few times his partner had to tell him to slow down, since overzealousness isn’t exactly pleasurable. Although he was nervous about how well he could do, he was a fast learner and knew to continue doing what they liked if they showed a reaction towards it.

A few mishaps here and there, an elbow digging to hard on someone’s back, hitting his head on the headboard, and missing the mark when it was time to put it in. Of course, he laughed off his embarrassment which made the atmosphere more carefree.

Unsurprisingly, he has great stamina (and virility). Even though it was his first time, he wanted to try different positions that was obviously out of both of their ranges. On the table, on the floor, standing, him under them, vice versa. Kiro is apparently well-read in sex-related lore, and was impatient to try some things that looked like it felt good. I’m sure his partner had to persuade him not to bring food in once (or twice).

With his stamina and great dexterity, he didn’t have trouble finding a pace and keeping it without growing tired. He definitely had them bent out shape, and it’ll only get better the more time it goes on. Besides that, his passion and urge to pleasure them and be receptive to pleasure it what made the night fun. Kiro’s always been an open-minded and go-with-the-flow kind of person, which relates well to easing anyone’s nerves and making something nerve-wracking fun.

Victor

• Victor was the oldest out of the boys when he lost his virginity, around 23 years old. He focused on his education and being productive, not really caring for other aspects of his life until he tried dating for a short while. The person he was dating at time was someone he knew for a long time, and more than likely met through an internship or shared class.

He wasn’t the first to bring up sex; they were. This is not to say it wasn’t on his mind. Victor’s mind always had a penchant for preparing for different avenues and possibilites, including in his personal life. He’s aware of the typical progression of relationships inclues some component of intimacy, but he felt it would be courteous to allow them to bring it up first. The two definitely engaged in foreplay and physical intimacy, allowing him to build a comfort for it.

Definitely the type of boyfriend to have a sit-down over dinner and talk abou protection and other protocols. At least he made it smoother by cooking dinner for them at his apartment. Victor is adamant about maintaining his partner’s comfort and discussing options for birth control.

A night when things began to heat up, he was very prepared for it. Way more than the average person. Silk sheets, plenty of condoms and lube hidden in his nightstand, and even flavored types in case they wanted to give him oral. Linen towels waited under the bed, and so did a change of sheets. Victor felt the more he prepared for difficulty, the less frantic he’d be on the inside.

Ever since he was a young, he had a great control of delayed gratification. He could wait for dessert his parents would double the amount. A bit of composure and restraint at an exciting business venture that could go wrong.Allowing you to orgasm once, maybe twice if he’s lucky, before he even thinks to release. He always had the power to control his nervousness, so it wouldn’t be detectable except for a minute frown or a second of hesitation. He lasted long his first time because of it, and he made sure they came before he did.

Although he was shy and apprehensive since this was a new experience, he forced himself to initiate and lead them. If they were nervous as well, he’s notice and stop immediately and hold them for a few moments. Victor wanted to ensure that they were safe with him, and his competitive streak wanted their experience with him to be one of the best.

Very receptive to their reactions. He’s a businessman, and always had a knack for nonverbal body language. The moment he hears a positive sound, he will exploit it even more.

Can definitely get a bit rough in the end with how hard he thrusted in to them, but still maintained the self-control to not hurt them.

Gavin

Gavin’s sexual experience is something he doesn’t really attempt to remember. It was with someone he was friends with, more of a respite than a slow experience, and the two felt their relationship wasn’t the same. Gavin was focused on finding you (MC) for years, and his endearment towards you didn’t stop even when he sought brief intimacy with someone else. He felt it was a weak moment, but knows that he shouldn’t let his first time mar the rest of what was to come in his love life. A bad experience is not a testament to the future.

The tryst happened at his apartment. An accumulation of frustration, a bad day, and many unanswered emotions brought Gavin and his friend together. A large part of him didn’t care, he wanted an escape from what is expected of him. For once, he wanted to have a day of insignificance and no greater questions. They barely made it to the bed because everything from him released the moment he shut his apartment door.

Foreplay was passionate, rough, and fast. He felt bruising against his skin and nails digging into his back. The brief shots of pain helped distract him from his distracting thoughts. He grew hard quickly, and felt ready to relieve himself of it, among other things. Gavin had to lucidity to prepare them and confirm if this was okay, which was replied to hastily. He, of course, was a bit clumsy and out of frustration his friend urged him to go ahead and do it.

Once he penetrated, he didn’t hesitate to go fast because he didn’t want this moment to last long. The shorter it is the less time he has to question if this was actually healthy. He wasn’t able to get an angle that was pleasurable for him, but at their pleasure he kept going. Since it was his first time, he came prematurely. Feeling guilty, he pleasured them again and listened to what they liked in order to get them to orgasm.

Briefly, they stayed up and talked to each other about the difficulties they were facing in their lives. Gavin felt that the talk they shared had the vulnerability and intimacy he actually craved, rather than the sex. When they parted ways he didn’t see much of them again until there was no contact complete.

He took the encounter for what it was, and learned that he desires a partner who can know him and trust him fully. He tells himself that he will find that in the future, eventually.

Like Victor, Lucien was dedicated to his studies and didn’t prioritize relationships like the average person his age. However, he gave himself the chance to date and decided to pursue something with a barista he’s grown to know at his favorite cafe. Out of everyone, he was the oldest at 24 to lose his virginity, but he did it with such class and composure you’d think he lost it awhile ago.

A researcher, he naturally questions the way things are. He rejected the labels that surround sex and relationships in general, and made it clear to his partner that he wanted their relationship and its pacing to move on their terms, not society’s. When he felt ready to have sex, he indirectly made his desire known, but he didn’t want to push his partner at all.

When it came time to actually have sex, he was nervous, in a way that came from a fear of failing them. However, throughout he his his nervousness like he hides everything. He wanted to be calm so that they could be calm. He hid it so well that when he revealed that he is only going on theory, his partner was surprised because Lucien is doing very well. He developed his lover’s comfort by lighting candles, taking a shower together, and then just talking to each other about anything for a long time. It relaxed the both of them before they were ready.

Very adept at taking what he learned, judging if it was viable or not, then utilizing it. He skipped over what he read on “dirty talk” and decided to focus on ministrations and erogenous zones that can trigger a stronger orgasm in them. Lucien is very patient and felt that foreplay was the most enjoyable part because of the diversity it allowed. Oral, massaging, mutual masturbation, he was eager to try what he read to the point his lover was ready for the next stage.

At times he would be very silent and become detached even, since it helped him get away from his overactive mind. He isn’t loud in bed at all, but he showed how quickly he was unwinding by the force of his grip on their hips or how hard he slams into them.

Lucien got his hands on some information on edging, and would push himself to the edge from pulling out. While working down from his impending orgasm he’d pleasure his partner during it. This happened a few times and allowed him to draw out sex longer than what would’ve been for someone’s first time.

He’d definitely allow a few jokes and laughs here and there, wanting this moment to be gentle and without any gravity or what-ifs. Lucien wanted to explore a new aspect of intimacy with his partner, and did not make it more nor less than that.

#mlqc #mlqc headcanon #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc fanfic #mr love queen's choice #mr love #mr love lucien #mr love: queen's choice #mlqc kiro #mlqc gavin #this won't get any notes but that's ok lmao #headcanon #headcanons #naruto imagines #imagines #fandom #otome guys #otome game #otome

[astrohawritings]

Through the Gateway

CHAPTER TWO

Rating: None

Warning ⚠️; None

Word Count; 0.8K

Member; MJ

DISCLAIMER; these "chapters" will be fairly short.

Plot/Prompt; It was a thought I had while waking up one morning.

Before MJ could think, his arm extended toward it, subconsciously wanting to touch it. With a gasp, he watched his fingertips disappear into the gateway. Then his fingers. His palm. His whole hand, up to his wrist. A ticklish feeling ran up and down the nerves in his arm, and a bolt running down his spine caused the man to shiver violently for a brief moment. 'What...the..hell?' MJ muttered, hand still through the portal.

Despite his timorous body, he stepped closer, more of his arm disappearing. Before he could register anything, he was walking through the portal, the colours slowly falling away, and heat lowering. He kept walking, the bright white surroundings almost blinding him. Then he felt the heat return, lessened, but still hot enough to sting his skin.

MJ fell forth, splaying his hands out in front of him to break his fall. He needn't have, however, as he never hit the ground. Cold engulfed him and he shivered, teeth chattering. He seemed to be floating gently toward the ground, as though in water, yet he found that he could still breathe easily. The ground felt strong beneath him as he was set on his knees, automatically jumping to his feet.

MJ immediately started moving, looking around as he ambled along. 'It looks like somewhere angels would wait for jobs or something.' MJ noted softly.

'Mm, not really.'

A breathy voice broke the warm silence.

'More like where they'd go to watch the humans.'

Looking up, MJ saw a figure, shrouded in white, one leg bent at a 45-degree angle and foot tucked behind their other leg hanging relaxedly. Small pulses of air hit his face blowing his hair across his forehead. The figure lowered to the ground, now standing in front of MJ.

'But I'm not an angel. Far from it, apparently.'

A scoff escaped MJ. What is this person on about? And where in the ever-loving hell was he? Shaking his head, he let out a low chuckle.

'I'm dreaming. I-I must be dreaming.' He laughed again, nervously this time. 'Yes, that all. This is just a weird dream.'

Rubbing his hands over his face, he turned to walk away, glancing once more at the individual, noting that they had their head cocked to the side, much like a puppy would. They watched MJ walk away, trailing after him slowly, head still tilted with novelty.

The more MJ walked, the less safe he felt, and the more he craved the familiarity of his home. Gosh, he'd willingly take the other side of the gateway over this, what with its blistering warmth and colours bright enough to blind his great-grandfather, God rest his soul. Ah, his great-grandfather. MJ missed him with all of his heart. The stories he used to tell MJ sounded hilariously far-fetched to him, even as a child, but he would listen all day if it meant he was away from wherever he was and in his childhood home.

Then a wave of sadness hit him. The last few times his great-grandfather had told such stories before his death, MJ had rushed the old man through. With a sigh, he shook off the guilt and the sadness, instead busying himself with looking for a way back. Turning to ask the person who'd been following him, he gasped involuntarily at the empty air behind him. His head tilted back to find empty air above him as well. He turned to face forward again.

Nothing.

The person had vanished as suddenly as they'd appeared. Mj groaned a deep groan, full of frustration and annoyance. Swiping his hair off his forehead and grimacing at the cool air rushing against his newly unveiled forehead which informed him that he was one hell of a sweaty man, he looked around. He was lost in a fairy floss factory and it was just his luck. He was going to die and no one would know where he died, not where he went in the first place.

Wait. He told himself. 'Let's just sit and think.'

He sat where he was and pondered his situation.

Yep.

He laid on his back, staring up at the billowy cloud-like structures covering the ceiling, painted in gorgeous shades of pastel purples and blues.

Oh boy

His eyes shut slowly.

He was going to die.

His eyes opened sharply.

No, he wasn't.

MJ stood up determinedly and looked over his shoulder. He would work out where he was and how to get out of here, he scolded himself.

But, that's often easier said than done. It's all fine and dandy to say that you'll fine a way out, but will you? You can say that it's easy, simply look for a door and Voila! you're back where you were at the start.

However, how can you find a door in a cotton candy factory with no one to help you, and only your mental voice for company?

#arohanet #astrohawritings #writeblr #Through the Gateway!series #astro sanha #astro rocky #astro imagines #astro #astro reactions #astro kpop #kim myungjun #park jinwoo #park minhyuk #astro jinjin #astro mj #writers on tumblr #astro moonbin #astro eunwoo

[riskeith]

good morning love! (or afternoon for you hehe)

deku vs kacchan part 2 is my favorite ep of the entire series actually. i’ve watch that ep so many times as well it’s just perfect. i got into them when i watched that episode actually! the voice acting god..... literally shivers. now that i think about it it might even be my favorite anime ep of all time help. i just love how bakugou lets it all out and we get to see that side of him.. the insecure scared child he tries to hide. god i could ramble about it forever idk just love it. OH YOU WATCHED THE MOVE RIGHT AFTER? a scene with bakugou and todoroki is guaranteed a good time.. and they work so well together. haha that’s such a nice coincidence tho their dynamic is great in that movie even if it’s mostly kiribaku sjsksjk. what do you think about kiribaku btw?

RIGHT!!! at least we have a couple days to decide hihi.... paimon no longer emergency snack.. only seelie. 🥴 oooh? what kind of thing have you envisioned? (if you wanna share ofc!)

i’ve seen so many people mention that!! like one of the worst parts of the game is that in the higher level you get the less there are to do.. ssjksjdk at some point all you can do is grind domains and try to level up shdkdfhdj

LEVEL 40 INTO A LEVEL 70+ FIGHT ok that’s honestly hilariously brave doesn’t she like die right away 😔 oh yeah you’ll be leveling up Again soon *praying for you*... can’t believe they don’t keep the easy bosses anymore sjdkfh that’s so rude. this game is just grind grind grind. WE NEED A BENNY STORY SO BADLY. like imagine a story with him wanting to seek out diluc because he wants to learn how to fight from a master or something like that. i saw it in a comic and i can’t stop thinking about it 😭 all of them deserve stories!!! there’s so many ways they could make it happen pls mihoyo... chongyun x xingqiu story... <333

shfkjdskdjhf nope right now i’m playing with noelle as my main damage dealer, traveller, lisa and barbara actually. so i think i have a pretty good balance atm.. 2 long range 2 short range-ish. i usually trade out barbara for another character if i have to tho, hehe. that’s only combat though ^ benny is with me when we explore. mood is me having a 5 star and not even using her... i still need to think of ways qiqi could fit into the group yk. is your group still looking the same as before? ooooh if you could rank the elements what would your ranking look like?

172!!!!! that’s a bit short though when you said tall i thought like... 190 or something sjksjdxk. wait how tall are You?

oh i just meant like... people bashing others for spending too much money on the game vs those that bash people for not spending money and complaining that they don’t get 5 star etc? idk yt comments can be so ugly though so it’s a good thing that you don’t read them sjdjdjdkd

that’s super smart!!! you just follow along the plan and delete when you come to the part. must feel so satisfying too i imagine. haha, what little notes i have i put in the notes app and just check up on when i need to. sometimes i even forget they’re there shdkdhsks. my notes are filled with half-assed dialogue or random one words notes that don’t make any sense to me anymore.. nskdhddjdj

you’re right!! so you write at night? sometimes i just open docs on my phone and write a bit before i sleep and when i wake up it’s either a grammatical mess or just... super bad hskshd the brain is simply too tired to create anything shakespeareian

nooo i’ll def check these out and let you know what i think. i’ve seen halsey being in pretty much every klance playlist on spotify so i imagine she portrays their vibes pretty nicely. doesn’t she have a song she sings about being blue and red or something... shdjfhdj such a bad description but i see it being used in edits a lot. also now that i think of it melanie has a song called pacify her that i really like!! do you like it?

THATS SO CUTE YOU ARE A CRYBABY. 🥺 same here tbh i actually like crying sometimes... sjskdjdjd like you said it just feels nice to get it all out. i cry to almost movie or series or book i read i’m a super emotional person but i also think it adds to the experience? you feel more immersed in it that way.

RIGHT??? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! and it’s our boys 😭 and they’re cuddling 😭 under the sun 😭 ssjdjdhdjdj 😭

can’t wait to hear from you again <3 yours, ma <3

good night! more like ahhah

:o!! that’s so legendary of them wow.. <33 and yeah honestly the voice acting is phenomenal.. and all the implications behind the fight too? bakugou finally opening up? midoriya understanding that what he needs is to fight him? ugh. kiribaku is fine! fhdsjfks my brain is so full of todobaku that any other ship is really just... in the background hfskjfs but i can appreciate the relationship they have! with kiri being the only one bakugou has really acknowledged and seeing as being on the same level, that iconic hand clasp when bakugou was being rescued... i have a kiribaku fic in my drafts but idk if i can ever get to it ahha. you like them a lot right?

ikkk also i didn’t know we had to wait until the very end to buy? i have more than enough to buy it rn but when i clicked it said ‘must explore area 14 first’ and i was just... bruh. AHAHAH. okay so in my mind it’s like.. chongyun at a funky angle we’re kinda looking up at him and his body is like bent down towards us fhsdkjs idk how to describe it but i can picture it very well but i also cannot put it to paper/screen. and then his clothes are just black instead of white! HAHAH. tho i kinda wanna see if i can draw a xiao first to offer up to the gacha gods hfsdjkfs (and if i can i’ll do a version w a dark outfit too for u hehe)

legitttt im literally just logging in and grinding the talent domains every day fhsdkjfhskfhjd there are some artifacts i want as well but the domain is literally SO difficult for me fuck.

i just go in and use her skill then heal a bit and switch right away fhsdkjfsd it going alright! and then i go ham with my other 3 charas and switch back to her to heal again fhskfjd. OMGGG that’s so cute please... i miss diluc too... come back!! i wish we had a way to replay the old quests even if we get nothing out of them like i just wanna experience it again ya know.

oooo! that’s pretty nice. hfskjd you could switch barbara out for qiqi! since she’s a healer as well. omg wait you have lumine right? so your combat team has no males? legendary 😩 we love fighting queens! ya! traveller, chongyun, xiangling, fischl. and then i switch depending on the domain/boss i’m gonna fight. hmm elements I think would go: anemo, cryo, electro, pyro, hydro, geo, dendro? LMAO i reckon if i had diluc tho pyro would be higher... i also almost forgot to add geo to that list lmaooooooo oops, hbu??

I JUST SAW THE LINK.... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! the bestest boys look how cute they’re sjdkfjdjjdd i’m obsessed. the picture where benny has his back turned sjdudjdjddnd stop. 🥺 they’re so neat. 🥺 also NO ARE YOU SERIOUS? that’s so upsetting are you gonna try it out nonetheless or do you think it’s too risky?

they’re SO neat!!! and bennett facing the other way was so fhskjfd yeah cute <3333333 I KNOWWW IM SO SAD :((( and no...... im not gonna try 😭😭😭 i told my brother about it too and he asked how many rolls i was at and i said 70 and he was straight up ‘you can’t try then’ and i was like ‘i know 😔😔’. @ xiao... i am giving up xingqiu rate up for you 😤😤😤😤 ugh i hope i can still get xingqiu in xiao’s banner tho even tho the chances will be shit. are you gonna roll ganyu’s banner?

FHSKJFSD NOOOOOO don’t tell me 172 is average for you wtf... (apparently the average male height in japan is 160cm! for reference ahah) and i myself am. one hundred and. fifty something cm hfsdjfhskjdfhskdjfhw9uehdsifhwsdkjfhsdkfhsd 😔 big sighs lmaoooooooo. how tall are you? (im assuming much taller 😔😔😔😔😔)

ooh notes app? nice ahaha. fhdkjfhskfsk hdthat’s the mood tho! if i don’t have my laptop with me i’ll write out everything on notes first then transfer to my laptop~

AHAHAH yeahhh i think mostly i do? bc during school times i’ll only write after i’m done with my work which = night time. for a while Peak writing time for me was like 1am lmfao but i do that in a like half-asleep half-conscious state so when i come back the next day at a “normal” time i run into the same issue as you fshdfkjshfs

she does!!! it’s called colours 😩 but i think the one i related to voltron most is control! there was this really good shiro edit with that song i still remember it to this day <3 yeah i do!!! i like most of melanie’s songs actually ahahah. i think my favourite for a while was show and tell~

it totally does!! like it’s satisfying as well you know... like the characters have gone through so much and you experienced that with them so it’s natural to get emotional about it. that reminds me, what kind of books do/did you read? did you read all Those YA novels ahah talking about crying has reminded me how i cried reading those..

<333 i wanna be there with them 😩 actually no i want to BE them 😩😩😩

eager for your response <33 love, c.r.

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

[lihikainanea]

The waxing incident.

This one goes out to the nani who put this idea in my head, after my own rather vigorous waxing session today. The idea was just too precious, too hilarious, and ALL TOO RELATABLE FOR ME.

And come on, you just know that after Bill spanked the hell out of her for her little stunt--you know that soft bastard did her so good and then kind of held onto her at the end when she could barely breathe, and just made sure she knew that she didn’t have to do all of this for him. Didn’t have to put herself through pain for him--he’ll take her any damn way he can get. Hair, no hair, some hair--who the fuck cares. He’s DTF always, when it comes to her.

Enjoy babies, and I hope it gives you a laugh xo

***

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

You knew your pain tolerance was high, and all the times you had gotten this done before, the cosmetologist had made it seem so simple. You both would chat about your day, she would tell you all the details of her latest vacation or her latest fling as she methodically applied the hot wax, then the strip, then would tear it off as you twitched and let go a muffled whimper while she didn’t even stutter. 

It seemed pretty straight forward, logical. Heat the wax, apply the strip, then 1-2-3—rip it off.

You were wrong. Devastatingly, horribly wrong.

Bill had been away on a press junket for a few weeks and was due back this afternoon. With his impending return and a beachside vacation coming soon, you didn’t want the hassle of shaving (you always nicked yourself anyway) and Bill always seemed extra enthusiastic when you were freshly waxed. But when you had phoned your aesthetician for an appointment, you were informed that she was away for the next two weeks and nobody else had an availability—so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

You bought the wax, bought the strips. Even bought a little container of lotion that would help take the stick off after, some baby powder too, and you watched a few YouTube videos just for confidence. When you felt you had it right you heated up the wax, cut the strips to the proper length, and got settled on the edge of the bathtub. To be efficient about the process, you smeared some of the hot wax onto a few strips and laid them out so you could just stick and rip a lot quicker.

Shimmying out of your bottoms, you sat on the edge of the bathtub and boosted a leg up on the toilet seat. To test it out once more, you stuck a strip globbed with wax to your shin, smoothed it down like how you had seen on the video, counted to three and then yanked it upwards. A slight wince, slapping your hand down on the area to help ease the sting, but other than that—nothing to it. You briefly wondered why you ever bothered paying a professional a small fortune every 6 weeks or so to do this for you.

Grabbing another strip, you pushed your legs further apart and applied it right to the crease of your thigh, sticking some of it to your outer lips,  pulling the skin taut and rubbing your hand over it to make sure the wax stuck. You gave it a moment to harden, picking at a corner so you could grab and pull easily.

Exhaling a deep breath, you counted to 3 and on the last one you grabbed the corner and pulled hard.

“Fuck,” you yelled, whimpering and slapping your hand to the area. The paper barely moved a millimetre, but you were seeing stars—there was too much wax on the strip that you let harden for too long, and now it was a solid glob on your most sensitive area. Whining, you grabbed hold of the small corner again, spreading your legs wider and really pulling the skin on your thigh taut. You gave the strip an experimental tug, just a small one as you bit your lip—and you cried out in pain when you felt it just barely move. You were sure you were ripping your own skin off.

Panicked, you fumbled and grabbed for the bottle of baby powder—powder made things less sticky. The aesthetician always sprinkled baby powder all over you whenever she was done, to help get some of the remaining wax off. Shaking the bottle wildly over your lower half in a giant puff of cloudy powder, you choked as you frantically rubbed it all around the strip and tried to get some underneath. Closing your eyes and lying down in the bathtub with a leg propped up, you took a deep breath and tried again.

“Jesus Christ,”  you cussed loudly, and this time the strip didn’t move at all. Letting go a loud wail, you plunked your head back in the bathtub and wondered how you would explain to Bill that from now on, your sex life would have to include the long strip of cloth clumped in wax, right in the inner crease of your thigh. It was the area he loved to kiss, to run his scratchy stubble over and watch you squirm, The area he loved to gently trail his fingertips over before moving them where you really wanted.

And now, he would never be able to do that again. Because even if you ever got the strip off—which didn’t seem likely, ever—you were pretty sure you’d have no skin left in that area for him to lick and kiss.

As if on cue, your front door unlocked and you heard two heavy bags fall to the floor.

“Honey, I’m home!” Bill called, closing the door and locking it behind him. He looked around confused, usually you were in the hallway bounding towards him as soon as he got back.

“Tiger?” He called out.

Scrubbing a hand down your face, you resigned yourself to your fate. You needed his help. He would never let you live it down, but you needed his help.

“Heyyyyy buddy,” you dragged out awkwardly as you heard his heavy steps looking for you, “I’m in the bathroom. Can you come help me out for a sec?”

His steps paused, and he stayed silent for just long enough to make it weird.

“Uh, I’m good,” he stuttered after a long beat, “I’ll just wait for you out here kid.”

You heard the confusion in his voice and you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, about that,” you said, “I need your help, bud.”

“Oh, uh….okay.”

You sighed heavily, and after another few seconds you heard a tentative knock on the door. You stayed in the bathtub, rolling your eyes.

“Bill I just told you to come in.”

The door eased open just a crack, and he stuck half of his head through it. You bit back your sarcastic comment when you saw he had his hand covering his eyes.

“Everything okay in here?” He asked.

“Peachy. Get your ass in here, please.”

Every bit reluctant, he took a tentative step in and swung the door fully open. He peeked through his fingers.

“I have a bit of a situation here,” you gestured vaguely to your naked lower half, your leg still propped up on the edge of the tub. Bill slowly made his way over,  dropping his hand and looking down at you as confusion took over his features.

“I tried to uh, wax….myself,” you explained before he could ask, “And it didn’t work. I can’t pull the strip off.”

He barely contained the chuckle, contorting his features as he tried and failed to restrain it. A snort escaped as he clapped his hand over his mouth, rolling his lips inward.

“Hey fuckhead,” you leaned and pinched his thigh as he squealed, “Have some sympathy. I was doing this to try and look nice for you.”

His hand dropped and just a smile remained as his gaze swept over you.

“But kid you’ve…you’ve done this before. Haven’t you? You’re always all smooth and shit,” he asked.

“No, I’ve gotten this done before. Professionally. This is the first time I tried to do it myself,” you grumbled. He smirked at you, crouching down and resting his forearms on his knees.

“What did you learn?” He mocked.

“Ugh,” you shoved at him and he stumbled back, landing on his behind, “I learned that I can’t depend on you for help without making fun of me when I’m in dire straits.”

He chuckled, rising back up and swatting at your hands as you tried to push him again.

“Easy, kid. You know I have to bust your ass just a little bit about this.”

“Bill this hurts,” you pouted, “I am literally trying to rip out my hair with burning hot wax so I can be ‘all smooth and shit’ for you. You can either help, or die horny.”

“Alright alright, hang on. First of all,” he gently grabbed your face, leaning in to press his lips to yours in a slow kiss. He let it linger, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth and flicking his tongue over it before he pulled away slowly.

“First of all, hi. I missed you,” he whispered, kissing your nose.

“I missed you too,” you mumbled, craning your neck for another kiss that he indulged you with.

“Second of all,” he continued, “How does this work, exactly? What do I need to do?”

Your pushed your legs farther apart, scooting down a bit more in the tub.

“You need to grab the strip here, and pull it off this way,” you showed him, “I can’t do it. Every time I try, my hand just won’t do it.”

“But won’t that hurt?”

You glared at him.

“Right, of course it’ll hurt,” he mumbled, stealing another quick kiss, “Get on up here, it’ll be easier for the angle.’”

He helped you maneuver until you were back sitting on the edge of the tub and you propped a bent leg up on him, your foot flat on his chest. Putting a big hand on your thigh, he reached between your legs to grab the corner of the strip. He moved his fingers, ensuring his grip on it was good and tight, adjusting his hand on your thigh to press down and pull the skin more taut.

“Bill,” you grabbed his forearm, your eyes wild and pleading, “You need to do it fast. Just fucking rip it, okay? Grab it and rip. I’m going to scream, but it’ll be fine.”

He nodded in understanding.

“Okay, on the count of three kid. One, two…” and then he pulled suddenly, yanking the strip up and away as you howled. You kicked your legs in agony, the one on his chest sending him flying into the opposite wall as you tumble into to bathtub. You shrieked, slapping your hand down onto the area while you writhed to try and absorb some of the pain as it washed over you in waves.

“Fuck,” you yelled, a long string of curse words following. When you finally regained the ability to speak a few seconds later, you glared at him in shock and betrayal.

“You said three!” You shrieked.

“I thought it would be better on two!” He mimicked your shrill tone, his back still pressed into the far wall and the strip—the strip containing seemingly millions of your hair follicles—still clutched in his hand.

“It wasn’t better on two Bill,” you continued to yell, standing up from the bathtub, “I needed to brace, you fuckhead.”

“Tiger why do you need to brace?” He was yelling now too, “I’ve seen you pop your dislocated shoulder back into place by yourself.”

“This,” he motioned wildly to the strip in his hand, and when he realized he was still holding it he shook his hand violently but it was now stuck to his fingers, “This is just hair!”

Your eyes narrowed at him as he continued to flail, trying to unstick the hair-covered wad of wax from his hand.

“Just hair?” You asked in a low, threatening tone, “Oh it’s just hair, is it big bird?”

And before he could react you grabbed one of the other strips you had prepared, lifted his shirt and slapped it onto his happy trail. As soon as it hit his skin it was already too late, but you rubbed your hand hard over it just to make sure it was nice and stuck.

“Tiger, I swear to god,” he threatened lowly.

“Come on baby,” you purred, resting your chin on his chest as you looked up at him.

“This is warfare and you know it,” he accused, “Don’t even fucking think about touching that strip.”

You just smiled a slow, Cheshire grin.

“You ready, baby?” Your fingers slowly made their way to the corner of the strip, grabbing hold of it. Bill’s eyes hardened and he leaned in closer.

“I fucking dare you, kid,” he growled menacingly in challenge, “I fucking double dog dare you to pu—”

His sentence was cut off in favour of a shriek as you smiled deviously and yanked the strip from his stomach. A string of Swedish curse words followed with exuberance as he bit into his fist,  slamming his other one into the wall beside him.

You smirked, raising up the strip that now held nearly all the hair of his happy trail. You held it in front of his face, contorting your features into mock sadness.

“What’s the matter baby?” Your voice dripped with sarcasm, “It’s just hair.”

He raised his eyes to you, narrowing them and glaring at you with such a force that you nearly shrank down.

“You get...” He paused, maintaining eye contact with you as he twisted his head and loudly cracked his neck, “You get a three second head start, kid.”

Then he bent at the waist to be eye level with you, resting his hands on his knees as he leaned his face in close to yours.

“Run, little one,” he growled.

You squealed, taking off past him and running to try and find a hiding spot before he could nab you. Within seconds you heard his heavy steps as he scoured your apartment, throwing back curtains and whipping open closet doors as he searched for you. You shrank down smaller in the corner of your bedroom closet.

“You can run but you can’t hide, tiger,” he yelled, “And I’m about to make sure that you can’t sit for a fucking week, too.”

#BFF!Bill #BFF!Bill HC #BFF!Bill headcanon #funny #funny bill #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard fic #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfic

[crushedbyhyperbole]

Good Ole Stuffing

A/N:  For @xxloki81xx​ ‘s 2019 Xmas writing challenge, filling the song prompt:  It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas - Michael Bublé.  Thanks for organising this badass challenge

This is a Bucky Barnes x Reader w/ powers fic where their relationship is established.  The story is set a couple of years after another of my fics, Disco Ball Diva.  I think I might make a cluster of fics with this reader character because she’s hilarious and sassy as fuck.

Read Disco Ball Diva  |  Main Masterlist  |  Mobile Masterlist

Words:  3.3k

Warnings:  18+ only please... Smut, threats of bodily harm, and terrible terrible language.

Summary:  The early arrival of Christmas and a prank courtesy of Sam ‘turkey boy’ Wilson ruins your super-chill fall vibe.  Bucky makes it up to you, and let’s face it, his recipe for stuffing is right up your street.

November 1st.  You sighed blissfully.  This day always felt so peaceful, like all the tension that built up over the course of a year just seeped away leaving behind a fresh, crisp, new-feeling world much like the old one but lighter; unpacked and unburdened.  This was one of the things you loved about Halloween, aside from the dark occult connotations, and the child-like excitement that came with this holiday, All Saints Day had its own special feel; everything felt cleansed.  Except your mind – that was always filthy.

Halloween at the Avengers compound had been an evening garden party with a bon fire, a haunted house marquee, carnival games and spooky themed circus acts.  It was more for the families of all the Avengers and Stark Industries staff (families with children), but you but you loved every second regardless.  Kids in costumes running around excitedly with candyfloss, completely hyperactive on sugar and E numbers.  Adults in costumes running around excitedly, completely hyperactive on alcohol.  But that had been later in the night, after all the kids had gone and all who were left were those of your who lived in the compound.

This year, you and Bucky had done the couples thing.  Collaborating costumes for the first time had been fun and your adaptation of Sweeny Todd and Mrs Lovett had gone down swimmingly, especially since you actually baked pies for the party; apple and blackberry, made to look like a bloody filling. Delicious.

It wasn’t the first Halloween you’d had together, you’d been together 2 years now and things were going great.  You’d danced around each other when you’d first joined the team but as time grew on you came to realise that you truly cared for the man formerly known as The Winter Soldier, and learned that he felt the same.  And boy, did he!  Bucky poured his heart and soul into you, giving life to the aching hope you cherished, that one day all the tension between you would evolve into something amazing. And that he’d fuck you senseless.  Phew!  That man was passionate on a whole other level, even the thought of him was enough to get you going.

Sweaty and in desperate need of a different kind of release, you quit the gym having worked through your hangover, and hit the showers.  If you’d have told yourself a couple of years ago that you’d be an exercise-loving badass Avenger with a badass Avenger boyfriend, you’d have told yourself to suck a dick.  You’d come a long way since Tony Stark picked you up, back when you were a hotdog seller whose superpower was simple prismatic projection.  Now you were a fully-fledged Avenger whose power could both protect and harm, as well as look snazzy as fuck.  Your Avenger name was Suncatcher, which was a hell of a lot better than Rainbow Brite - the name Bucky first called you when you joined up.  That asshole! 

The communal area in the compound had a different feel altogether.  Not the calm you loved about All Saints Day, but something glowing and bright and-.

“What the fuck is this shit?”

Your gym bag was heavy as you toted it the final few steps into the lounge where you observed a kind of carnage you’d never seen before, not even in the aftermath of battle.

 Bucky’s head snapped in your direction, his glitter-covered hair fanned, sending sparkling dust everywhere. There were fairy lights wrapped around his metal arm, plugged in, no less, and he had baubles on the floor all around where he knelt.

“Hey sweetheart.”  He was at your side in seconds, having ditched the lights and come to give you a hug and a soft peck on the cheek.

“Where’s the Halloween shit?”

Bucky’s mouth flapped in surprise at seeing your deep scowl, and he thumbed over his shoulder at his friend.

Ahh yes, the other culprit. The Falcon.

Sam had been knelt by Bucky, hidden from view when you’d entered.  Now he was out in the open, exposed, and he was struggling to stifle his mirth.

“Well, this ain’t happenin’.  Hell fuckin’ no!”  You stood in front of the partially assembled Christmas tree, hands on hips, bristling.  “I will fucking fight you both.”  You were sure you looked fierce.  Amazon queen that you were.  

“C’mon, Rainbow Brite.” Sam smirked.  “Tis the season to be jolly.”

“Fuck that!”  You gripe indignantly.  “It’s Halloween until December 24th and not a day before.”

“You tolerate this woman?” Sam jibed at Bucky, rolling his eyes with a long-suffering groan.

“Get stuffed, turkey boy.” Your irritation was only half serious, you loved talking shit, especially to Sam.  “I light up his life like the glorious disco ball of sexy bitchin’ badassery that I am.”

Bucky pulled you in for a hug, chuckling against the top of your head.  “Speaking of stuffing.”  He murmured.

“Oh baby!”  You moaned salaciously when his hands slid down to your ass.  “You know I love me some of that 100 year old sausage meat stuffing.”  You cackle with glee at the disgusted noise Sam made.

You were sorely tempted to push Bucky down on the sofa, straddle him and make a scene of dry humping him just to get Sam to flee the scene.  Bucky would let you do it too, he’d long since stopped being embarrassed by your exhibitionist behaviour.  But you wanted this man to fuck you senseless and that called for the soundproofed bedroom in which he slept.

Nightmares.  It was for the nightmares, alright.  But it certainly served your needs.

“If I’ve got to tolerate this Christmas bullshit before the corpse of Halloween is even cold then you,”  you paused to poke his pec playfully, “robocock, are going to make it up to me.”

With a grin, Bucky tapped your thigh and bent down a little.  Jump up, his eyes said.

No sooner were your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, were his lips on yours in a searing kiss and he carried you away.  Somewhere in the background Sam was muttering something about being scarred for life, counselling needed and some other lame ass complaint.  You didn’t care.  Bucky had you and he was going to take you.

 There was no preamble once his bedroom door banged shut against the frame.  Bucky threw you down onto the bed and tugged down your yoga pants, knickers and all. He knew what you needed from him, he was great like that, reading your mood and desire like you were an open book. It had come with much practice, but it had come.

You were yanked by your ankles to the edge of the bed and Bucky was inside you immediately, where he stilled, eyelids fluttering as he allowed you both a moment to adjust.  You were tight, even after all this time as his lover.  More so because he hadn’t warmed you up beforehand, but you were great.  Perfect, in fact.

You grinned at his sharp intake of breath at the purposeful flex of your pelvic floor, teasing him, goading him to fuck you sore.  To leave you with that burning throb that reminded you for days of the feel of him buried deep in your cunt.

“Lose the shirt.”  You commanded with a sly smile and he obeyed instantly.  “I’ve been thinking about you naked all damn day.”

“Yeah?”  He threw your legs over his shoulders folded you in half, leaning over you until his hair tickled your face, swaying as he started a slow rhythm.  “Been thinking about my cock too?  I bet you have.”

You groaned deep as he slammed into you hard, once twice, three times.  “What girl – doesn’t love – vintage – accessories?”  Your grin was taunting and your hit your mark.  You loved it when he talked dirty.

“I’ll give you vintage.” He growled, dragging your hands up above your head to pin you down, his hands locked with yours.  “You’ll feel this tomorrow, for sure.”

It was brutal.  The depth and force of his thrusts, and the angle he achieved by forcing your knees down onto the mattress by your ears using his weights as leverage.  You could hardly breathe, but that was half the thrill.  Gasping and keening, dizzy but exhilarated, you took every inch of him as he drilled you down into the bed.  Paying rent, you called this.

“You gonna come for me, huh, sweetheart?”  Bucky read the violent flush blooming on your face and décolletage with an arrogance smirk. “Gonna let me feel that sweet little pussy flutter?  Yeah, you are!  I’m gonna fuck you until you come around my cock.”

You had no words for him, only grunts and gasps made of what little air was in your lungs.  He didn’t mind, he was giving you this, fucking you how you needed.  It wasn’t always brutal like this, sometimes you couldn’t bare anything more than the softest touch, when you asked him to make love to you instead of fucking you into oblivion.

“Feel that?”  He slammed into you hard and ground against you for a few beats, his pubic bone wreaking havoc with your clit, before resuming his punishing rhythm.  “I’m gonna destroy that gorgeous hole of yours so bad you won’t sit right for a week.”

He was so close, straining to hold back until he pushed you over the edge.  Impossibly he picked up the pace, pounding you ruthlessly until your eyes rolled back into their sockets.  You practically drooled on yourself, groaning as you crested the huge mountain of intense pleasure he built for you.  The wave crashed, destroying what was left of your self-control. You cried out, tears undammed as they spilled forth.  It was exquisite, the sharpness of your climax and the painful burn where you were stretched so perfectly around his swollen prick.

The first violent contraction of your cunt dragged him with you, his cock twitched almost painfully as the pressure between his hips exploded.  The air around you grew heavy to the point where he couldn’t draw breath, and as he filled you to brimming with his jism small flecks of multi-coloured light erupted all around.

He slowed and sat back on his knees, prolonging your orgasm with slow deep strokes until you began to relax.  The light show was spectacular, undulating spectrums layered over one another, growing in size until you came back to yourself.

Bucky stroked his hands up and down your thighs gently, watching as your breathing settled and your eyes cracked open to meet his.  Your shock was temporary, followed by guilt and suddenly he could breathe more than short shallow breaths.  You hadn’t realised you’d used your power; it was a reaction to the intense emotions you’d felt.  The first time it happened, Bucky panicked, but now he knew to ride it out, and sometimes it added to his pleasure.

“How was that?”  he whispered, lowering your legs to the mattress and curling himself against your spine.

“Best stuffing, evarrrr…” You spoke quietly but with a smile, blissfully worn out and on the verge of unconsciousness.

“Not bad for 1940s vintage, huh, sweetheart?”  He pressed a kiss into the hair at your temple and pulled you closer, feeling you relax back against his chest.

“They don’t make ‘em like they used to.”  You mumble and Bucky chuffs a soft nasal chuckle, rubbing his stubbly cheek in your hair as you succumb to complete peace.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go…

Take a look at the five and ten, it’s glistening once again

With candy canes and silver lanes that glow…

 You stirred from sleep, grumbling at the infernal racket that was threatening to ruin the amazing dream you were having about Bucky kissing every single inch of your body.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store…

But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be

On your own front door…

 The muffled vibrating that accompanied the horrendous tune pulled you further from sleep and made you crack an eye open like a sleeping dragon.  A phone.  Someone’s phone was ringing.  Some Christmas-loving heathen’s phone.  Ughh!

A pair of hop-a-long boots and a pistol that shoots

Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Dolls that’ll talk and will go for a walk

Is the hope of Janice and Jen

And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again…

 You were soon bolt upright, slightly woozy but too grumpy to care.  You scoured Bucky’s room for the source of the annoyance and fixed, confusedly, on your gym bag.  What the fuck?  Hands frantically searching, you pulled out your phone to find one missed call from ‘Fist of Victory’.  Bucky must’ve called you to wake you from your nap.  Blissed out as you were, he must’ve left you to sleep while he ran some errands and did some chores, like bringing your gym bag from the common room.

The screen flashed and the voice of Michael Bublé piped up once more.  Bucky again.

It’s beginning to look a lot like-

You killed the call and, with an irritated nasal sigh, you delved into your settings to undo whatever heinous crime had been committed on your phone.

It’s beginning to look-

“Nope.”  You swiped the red button, growing more annoyed by the second.  Your phone asked you for a password but your pin didn’t work.  “Don’t do this to me!”  You groaned, trying everything you could think of short of factory restoring your device.

It’s beginning to-

“What the actual fuck?” You raged.  It was no use.  Some bastard had set your ringtone and locked you out of your own security.  “Fuck Christmas!”

Dirty yoga pants pulled on in haste and phone in hand, you raced from Bucky’s room towards the common room where you hoped to find your beau or at least someone who could fix this travesty.  Micheal Bublé’s voice chased you down the halls until you were about ready to flush your phone down the nearest shitter and call it quits.

Shoving through the door of the lounge, you were faced with 4 pairs of eyes around a dinner table laden with food; Bucky, Nat, Sam and Steve turned to look at you.  Bucky’s smile faded when he saw the state of you, dishevelled and panting, pink thong over the top of your inside-out yoga pants; furious.  You froze, cringing as the song continued uninterrupted in your hand.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go…

There’s a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well

It’s the sturdy kind that doesn’t mind the snow…

 There was confusion from three of the four, Bucky included as he ended the call, but Sam – oh that bastard!  You lunged for him and almost got to him too, before a solid metal arm wound around your waist and pulled you back.

“You!”  You struggled hard against Bucky’s strength, but even if you got free Steve was ready to stop you before you could hurt yourself, and it would hurt, but it would be worth it to punch that smug parrot in his weak-looking jaw.  “I’m gonna fucking pluck you, roast you and feed you to the homeless.”

The amused glint in Sam’s eyes goaded you further but you succumbed to the calming effect of Bucky’s arms tightly gripped around you.  You dropped your head against his chest and groaned.

“C’mon, y/n!  Get into the Christmas spirit.”  Sam chuckled and you flipped him the bird.

He knew he’d won this round but you’d find some way of paying him back.  Maybe you’d set fire to his tree on Christmas Eve so Christmas Day would have that vibrant bonfire smell that reminded you of Halloween, which was only yesterday.  You huffed.

“Is this why the tree is up so early?”  Nat said judgingly with a slight roll of her eyes.  “You should probably fix her phone.”

“Hell no!”  Sam snorted around a mouthful of food.  “This is too much fun.”

“Suit yourself.”  Nat hid her smirk behind the rim of her coffee cup. “I’m not going to save you when she chokes the life out of you, Darth Vader style.”

Coughing and choking preceded grains of rice spluttered into a napkin as Sam’s wide eyes flitted between you and Nat.  “She what?”

“Wanda has been working with her on expanding the range of her powers so she can effect larger areas further away from her body.”  Steve chimed in.  “It’s impressive.”

“The air gets thick and suddenly you can’t breathe.”  Nat cocked a brow.  “She doesn’t even need to touch you and you’re choking to death.”

“From over there?” Sam pushed his chair back a few inches, like that would make a difference.

Steve and Nat nodded deliberately, solemnly.

You grinned, projecting a light show worthy of your wrath.  Sam was out of his seat and backing up before Bucky turned you and positioned himself between you and your target.  Sam didn’t know you couldn’t reach him and it was fun to make him squirm so you tried, like, really tried to stretch your power outwards at that winged menace. The air grew heavy and it seemed like everyone held their breath, everyone except you.

Bucky stroked his hand into your messy hair and tilted your head ready for his kiss.  You knew he was trying to distract you, and it worked. Lips and tongues eagerly danced until you were moaning into his mouth and pressing yourself against his growing arousal.  The room relaxed as he ravaged your lips, forgetting you were not alone.  Your tummy growled aggressively and broke the spell, bashful giggles followed.

“Looks like I’m going to be making it up to you again, darlin’, on behalf of that bird brain.” Bucky kissed the tip of your nose.

“Well…”  You drawled.  “If you’re going to fuck me every time he pisses me off then I might sign him up on a contract.”

Bucky smeared his lips against yours in a passionate but tongueless kiss before swiping a plate full of food from the table and shoving it into your hands.

He swept you up bridal style and spun you around once for good measure.  Nat caught your eye and you mouthed ‘thank you’ to her.  She winked subtly with that pursed lop-sided smirk she does when she’s highly amused.  Steve was looking elsewhere, seeing his childhood friend head-over-heels in love and so confidently displaying his emotions was a moment of awkward pride for him.

Sam was forgotten as Bucky carried you back to his room with a grin on his face that already had you weak. Your phone was forgotten, turned off in your hand, and as you disappeared down the hallway, those in the common room would swear they heard you humming a tune.  A tune that fit with the words now playing in your head.

 It’s beginning to look a lot like sex-mas

Several times a day

Take a look at that perfect bum, and that juicy pair of plums

And the cock that’s going to fuck my cares away

 It’s beginning to look a lot like sex-mas

Get the toys and stuff

If I’m still walking straight, and not with a funky gait

Then he hasn’t truly boned me hard enough

 A pair of nipple-clamp bells and some lube that smells

Like cherry and not something yuk

A straining hard cock that gives my ovaries a knock

And I’m gonna give it a suck

And when we’re done, we’ll watch some porn until we’re ready to fuck

 It’s beginning to look a lot like sex-mas

Fingers tease me slow

When he’s giving me metal three and working them ruthlessly

Until I’m screaming and I’m ready to explode

 It’s beginning to look a lot like sex-mas

And we’ve ruined Bucky’s bed

We’ll take it to the floor or stood by the door

Where I’m on my knees so I can give him head.

 It’s beginning to look a lot like sex-mas

He’s gasping as he comes

Filling me to the brim and holding me close to him

Rubbing my cheeks so tender with his thumbs

 I do love Bucky’s plums.

If you’ve enjoyed this, why not try my other Suncatcher fic, Disco Ball Diva.  Same sassy reader character, just earlier on in her Avengers career.

#xxloki81xx2019xmas #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #reader insert #reader with powers #bucky barnes fan fic #marvel fan fic #writing challenge #my writing #suncatcher cluster #cloudy's writing

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: PERRY MASON

It’s time for a prestige tv show wig review!! HBO’s reboot of Perry Mason has wrapped its season and I have a lot to say about it. SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t watched the full season. I had never watched the original Perry Mason (or read the books) but my mom did both and watching the new series with her was a lot of her comparing the new with the old. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WIGS? Let’s discuss. Much like all HBO shows, the wig budget seems virtually nonexistent despite the fact that all HBO shows are definitely made out of money. WHAT GIVES?!?! I’ll be breaking down the hair character by character (skipping for the most part the wigless characters):

PERRY MASON

So many many of you have been trying to get me to watch The Americans, which is how most Americans were introduced to actor Matthew Rhys. AND I’M STILL NOT GONNA WATCH IT because though apparently there are many wigs, they are wigs within the narrative of the show so: WHATEVER. THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BE BAD! MOVING ON! I was introduced to Mr. Rhys first by running into him (literally) in my neighborhood (we’re neighbors!) and then seeing him as a grumpy grump in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (there is a neighborhood theme happening here...) Anyway: he is really good in this show and I was thankful every week that Perry was not played by Robert Downey, Jr (who originally was set to play him but still produced). Regardless: he doesn’t wear a wig but he does wear the shit out of some hats.

PETE STRICKLAND

Technically, Perry’s frenemy Pete is wigless as well but he wears the hell out of a mustache and that cannot go unnoticed!

DELLA STREET

Perry’s girl Friday and I guess the moral center of the show has one of the better wigs but it is still kind of the pits. Set in 1931-32, the series wigmaster clearly decided that ALL WOMEN wore fingerwave bobs and therefore all female characters have basically the same wig, with varying levels of success. Della’s is not the worst but that is mainly because she is constantly wearing hats. 

When not wearing hats...it’s another story, dog. This thing is an untamed nightmare of bends and angles. Still, compared to the other fingerwave bobs in this show, it is (sadly!) one of the best.

EMILY DODSON

First off, I’m really glad that one of my favorite characters in GLOW is on this show. However, UGH THIS WIG. We first encounter Emily as the mother of a kidnapped/murdered baby who soon becomes the #1 suspect.

Therefore, throughout the series her wig really takes a turn from bored housewife to inmate to courthouse to cemetery resurrections and back again. And through it all, this wig takes a journey from bent wig to more bent wig!

Even in the courtroom....YIKES. Look at the shine on this thing! And the texture. HORRIFIC.

No amount of prestige lighting can hide its horror!!!!

LUPE GIBBS

The only female character who is NOT running around in a fingerwave bob is Perry’s love interest/aviator/landlord, Lupe. I guess this character was supposed to be ahead of her time and kind of a Mexican Amelia Earhart but much like her characterization, this wig was kind of a mess, in fountains and out. 

PAUL DRAKE

Again, dude doesn’t have a wig but it must be noted that he wears hats well.

CLARA DRAKE

So straight up: I was worried about Paul Drake’s wife for basically ALL OF THIS SERIES. As soon as he was introduced as a black cop trying to navigate the very corrupt and even more racist LAPD and then it was revealed that he had a pregnant wife: I FEARED SHE AND THE BABY WOULD BE KILLED SOMEHOW. These fears truly crystallized when I started focusing on her wig, which is definitely the absolute worst wig on this show - the seamwork, texture, and curls are all a travesty. I knew that HBO would not be throwing wig bucks at a character that was not long for this series. BUT TWIST! Not only did she and baby live (halleluj!) but after quitting the LAPD and working for Perry, they somehow afforded a sweet new pad! I still don’t know how finances work on this show but fine! Now please get her a better wig for season 2!

LINDA MASON

First only heard as an angry voice on a phone, Perry’s ex-wife Linda, as played by the incomparable Gretchen Mol finally surfaced somewhere in the middle of this series. AND WON ALL THE WIG AWARDS. Did Gretchen Mol get to use her own hair person? Or her own hair? These mysteries still linger, as do many other mysteries in this series, but regardless: THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME ONE LADY WITH GOOD HAIR. Sadly, she was the only one. We hardly knew ye! 

BIRDIE McKEEGAN

Straight up: I LOVE LILY TAYLOR and think she can do no wrong. I was thrilled that she was in this show, even if she plays a total Mommie Dearest monster. Her wig is totally serviceable? But since we’re talking about Lily Taylor, she probably deserved better.

SISTER ALICE McKEEGAN

Yes, I left the craziest wig for last. As Lily Taylor’s daughter/evangelical lunatic/sexual assault survivor/baby resurrector/definite witch, Tatiana Maslany brought the CRAZY to this show and her wig brought it too. And no - I still haven’t watched Orphan Black and I’m fine, thanks. 

LOOK AT THIS DAMN WIG. Inspired somewhere between Elsa Lancaster’s Bride of Frankenstein, Jean Harlow, and every Halloween fright wig cut into a bob, this wig is a rumpled, crumpled MESS. 

I think I speak for us all when I say to this wig: OH HELL NO.

This trio of wigs is truly the three horsemen of the apocalypse. GET IT TOGETHER, HBO’S WIG BUDGET DEPARTMENT!!!

The real twist at the end (SPOILER!) is when Sister Alice books it out of her own baby resurrection only to resurface as a brunette, working at a diner. I did think it was hilarious that character named Alice would end up working in a diner - how many tv shows are you trying to reboot, HBO?

IF ONLY.

Anyway, this wig is just as bad as Alice’s blonde wig! The little wispy spit curls are 100% inspired by Betty Boop and the whole thing looks about as realistic as Betty Boop as well. Also: Alice gave no further information on dead or living baby wherabouts, leaving a huge gaping mystery at the end of this show which my mom found REALLY REALLY annoying but I guess the point is: this bitch is probably a witch. OK?

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

#perrymason #wigwurq #nightmarewigs #fingerwavebobs #BettyBooprealness #kissmygrits