#life stinks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 10 months

Text

I Hope AO3 Gets Fully Fixed Soon...(Best To Wait To Update Stories Over There If You Have A AO3 Account)

I was in the middle of trying to read a fan fic over there, when all of a sudden it started to be stupid...

and then when I decided to go to sleep, and I wake up to see it seems back to normal and I try to go back to reading what I was reading...

guess what, it starts getting all stupid again....I tried to look it up again, but it turn out the one I had found was a proxy and might not be the best idea...(so just in case I got off it and clean the cookies.)

maybe they are still fixing it, at least I hope they are trying to fix it...it's not fair.

hopefully no one was trying to update a story when it happen, that would really suck if that happen, but hopefully they have it saved on the computer just to be safe.

in case anyone has stories over there they were going to update, even though I don’t have account on there but it has become one of my favorite places to read fan fics, well that and the other places I read fan fics...

anyway just in case, it might be a good idea to wait to update any stories over there until whatever is going on is fully fixed and healed up.

I think I will be able to update that Spinelluva Boss AU story I have over at Quotev, maybe in a few days, I didn’t say what day in July that the story will be out of Hiatus....and it’s okay to wait until a few more days.

I do have some other ideas I want to try out that was inspired by the new episode of Helluva Boss, but I’m not going to say what it is. at least not yet.

I might try to write the idea I have later today.

also there is a reason I put the tags “little hope”, “broken”, “fix it please”, “ao3 and “get better soon”, can view that AO3 is sick and will take time to fully get better and hopefully it will soon.

it sucks it had to be on a day when I was trying to read a Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss Fan Fic, which it would suck if it happen during any type of fan fic, like Transformers, Undertale, Deltarune, Sonic The Hedgehog, Fallout 4, and any other video game, show or movie series.

the fan fic I had found and started reading during the day which that mess started to happen, it was about a father and daughter, and well I still ended up being new to the story and I didn’t really get that far past five chapters.

when I tried to go read Chapter 6, is when it started to act up again and said something about the servers, and it seem okay when I went back to Chapter 5 and I even bookmarked it just in case.

I thought it was fully fixed, but I guess there is still some bugs that need to be worked out....I hope they can fully fix the problem soon, I want to know what happens next in that fan fic and find out about, well a certain thing that happens in it.

it might of been when I did try to read Chapter 4 or 5, when it started to act up on me, and I had decided to go to sleep and wait for it to go back to normal.

but even when I woke back up and it seem to be okay now and I was able to read up to Chapter 5, it started to be all not okay again when I tried to read the next chapter.

life can stink at times, that’s for sure....but hopefully they can fix it and everything will be okay again, and I guess some can have alternative places to post their stories in case this kind of thing happens again, like a Cross-Post.

I’m not 100% sure I can trust the proxy version, and just in case I’m going to wait for the non-proxy version to get better soon.

you know to lighten the mood, if it was Live-Action Movie Soundwave or TFA-Shockwave that messed with it....and if I got really SUPER mad enough...

TFA-Blitzwing, Lugnut and Live-Action Movie Barricade would have to hold me back from slapping them.

I could jokingly say that the “D” in my blood type, stands for Decepticon.

(of course I know “Decepticon” doesn’t really stand for the “D” part in O RH D Negative, but I can still view it kinda being like that, along with Determination.)

but yeah funny jokes aside, I really do hope things are fixed soon.

and hopefully it didn’t happen during when someone or more than one person, was trying to update one of their fan fics.

that could make them really peeved off, and I don’t blame them.

I can’t help but a bit peeved as well, but hopefully AO3 does get fixed soon and whatever is causing the problem will be worked out and fixed.

and yeah, when I did try to check to see if it was okay now, it didn’t look like it was better and yeah, it peeved me off a little.

so yeah I had to try to look it up, but then I found that proxy place, which at first it looked like the original, even if it didn’t have the “org” part.

but because of the thing that was wrote in it, I thought it be best to get off of it and clean the cookies and wait until the original is fixed and okay again.

hopefully it will get better soon, even if I might have to wait a bit longer to read what happens next in that fan fic, seriously of all the days it had to do that, it had to pick that day....

anyway hopefully some are hoping it will be fully fixed too, and maybe the reason why it seem fixed before, but then started to go back to being not so fixed, is because they are still working on things and it will take a bit longer to get done......at least I hope it is that.

I really hope it gets fully better and fixed soon, there is like only some good stuff in real life, and we have to put up with some messed up and disgusting bull slag in real life that no one asked for, but hopefully that gets fixed as well...

and I might not be the only one who is upset about whats going on over at AO3, but hopefully things will be fixed soon and everyone can be happy and relieved that it is fully back to normal and everyone can go back to reading and even updating on there without that problem popping up again...

#life stinks #talking about feelings #little hope #broken #fix it please #ao3 #get better soon #july 2023

3 notes · View notes

mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 6 months

Text

My Family Made Me Get Norton (When I Didn't Want To)

[Note: Mature Audience Readers Only.....Also Reading This Is Post Is Optional...and it talks about my not so great feelings and about my family, who I still love but wish they could take my concerns about this seriously...also this is going to be a bit long.....also will go off topic some and even talk a bit about Helluva Boss....and other off topic stuff.....]

I wish my family would TRY to consider I might of wanted to stick with the original protection, I mean sure at times they can listen to my concerns. but this is one of the times they just wouldn't, and well yeah I guess they did technically listen....but at the same time, not take my worries over it seriously, like there is NOTHING to worry about.

I mean, I LIKE my privacy and I wish I can get a new computer and just move everything on a new computer...

I know the computer I do use now, use to be my Mom's, she did give it to me....and yeah technically, I never truly had my own computer until now....but the stuff that is with it, isn't really perfect.

I might seem like I know EVERYTHING about computers, but I don't.

and I hate the fact that my family don't even try to see my point of view a bit more, like understand that I might not fully trust Norton.

but now I'm freaking stuck with it, because I had to get rid of the one that I trust a bit more than one that shouldn't be going through my browsing...

I can still love my family, but it just seems at times they think they are always right, even if I should be happy they do listen to my concerns at times.....and I wish one of my family members didn't talk my Mom about Norton, yeah that ad or whatever has been around for a while.

plus even if my family says it is safe and it wont mess anything up, I can't help but feel otherwise.

I do not need a third bad depression, and there is still the other stuff that is going on right now that isn't helping the negative feelings.

I wish I had stand my ground a bit more, try to convince my family I didn't need it and I can just stick with the original...

have you ever felt like your family tends to guilt trip you sometimes, even if they don't intentionally do so, but it might be a accidental guilt trip...

I'm even worried about restarting or turning off the computer now, because of the whole being made to get the Norton....

I'm worried it might mess things up, and I'm already worried about it spying on me, and I don't like the idea of that or any form of misinterpretations happening.

I mean why couldn't I just keep what I already had on the computer...?

I know I had a bit of a bad day before the night/day my family talked me into getting the Norton, well I was told they already payed for it, but that doesn't help my feelings at all....

I mean I felt so bad, I had to lay down in bed and ended up going to sleep.

even if what made me feel not great before, was able to be fixed...

I didn't need to be told about Norton from my Mom, who I wish understood that I didn't want to get it and wanted to stick with what I had now...

I mean it's not like I don't try to be careful when looking up stuff, like even stuff that I might not fully get or understand and might need to look it up to get a better understanding of it.

I know that there is some stuff in the outside world that can be scary, and well even some people can be scary....I mean there can be some good people in the world, but you can still be scared and you are worried about being hurt, even if most of it is like being emotionally hurt.

plus not everyone's life is perfect, even if they do try to look on the bright side of life and try to keep safe, and one of the ways they try to keep safe is stay close to family or friends they trust, and if they wait in the car for their family to get back from the store, and since they are so far from the house or apartment, they end up feeling not so great.

yes, I'm talking about myself, and I think I did almost have a panic attack this year when I was waiting in the car....I mean I was able to keep calm, but it didn't mean I was okay with how long it felt and it seem like family was taken a bit too long.

at least it didn't end up as a full panic attack like what happen in 2015.

cause once again during 2015 when I had that panic attack, I ended up hitting my head on the car's ceiling...

also even if I do have only a Semi-Androphobia, and there can be some guys I might be able to trust....

but certain stuff that is going on right now, REALLY isn't going to help that....I'm not gonna say what it is.

also if I had to describe how my 2015 panic attack went, well the best I can remember of it....as I only remember a bit of it.

it would be like a caged animal and worried about a scary and dangerous thing coming out of nowhere.

plus I did end up with depression in 2015, when we had some guests staying with us before, before the move...

I couldn't get proper privacy half the time, and I guess one of the reasons I don't want anyone looking at what I'm doing or like over my shoulder, is because of what happen during that time.

I mean if I want to show my family something, I will....but I just like to keep some stuff from them, even if I can share some stuff with them, but being Aroaceflux ain't one of them.......

even though I'm Fictoromantic as well.

if I work up the courage to, I will need to bring it up Asexuality to my family again, and try to explain to them that the romantic attraction can be different for each person who is Ace.

and there can be some who are gay and some who are straight.

you shouldn't just assume someone's romantic attraction when they come out as Ace, I know that is partly thanks to my wearing my gem bracelets, I was able to protect myself from certain energies.

so I don't need to pick up a certain energy, but of course I had to hang the dream-catcher outside my door because of the reasons I talked about before but don't want to get fully into right now other than say that I had that second close call when not having the dream catcher over my head, so I decided to use that dream-catcher once again (that I had to take down before) and decided to have it protect me and my whole room, by having it hang on my door....

I'm not going to go fully into the reasons why or what the second close call was, I know I talked about it before, but I don't feel like doing so right now...

.....I do have a dream catcher for inside my room of course...

also in a future post, I would like to talk about certain thoughts that involve the Feminine energy going through a type of abuse, I mean with the info that is in that book that is called "Stones Of The Goddess: Crystals For The Divine Feminine" by Nicholas Pearson...

who may have had some help from a lot of people with the book.

and well besides my believing in a Goddess now, well I can still believe in God, like why can't I believe in both Divine Parents....

I'm still really weird to have the whole "Omni-Dad & Omni-Mom" pop into my head, like I had mention before, I'm a Defective Earth Angel, and I'm weird....also the thing I mention in a post that both talked about Helluva Boss episode where Mammon first appeared on, and the off topic stuff mixed in there...

I did bring up the weird thing I did when I was a newborn, even if I was sleeping when the weird thing happen, but it was a mix of being both freaky and cute, and I can't help but wonder if it means that some Earth Angels, who are still newborns and have been around only for a few days, might have a bit more strength to their bodies than other newborns....

I mean, my Mom told me that even if she did try to move my arms down, I just kept moving them back up and resting them under my head......which is still freaky for a newborn to do.

I wonder if Omni-Mom had like a backup plan....?

like maybe she knew, that two masculine energies fighting each other like how it is now, without the feminine energy being in the proper full balance during the time when the imbalance first accord...

would just be a bit harmful, even if the balance between the masculine and feminine energies have improved over time, I do have some theories on what the imbalance has done...

also if I have to explain why I nicknamed myself "Eveningstar Princess", it doesn't really have to do with Lucifer....

I still want to give him the cold hands to face punishment, because I believe is just as much as responsible as half of the other Eon-Boomers....

I mean, the whole Eveningstar Princess thing, has to do with well my Mom telling me she never got Morning Sickness with me.

she only got Evening Sickness, also mix in the whole being descendant of royalty and being a Earth Angel, of course I'm going to be super weird about that...

I know I had explained about that before, also I rather not be called a "blue blood", and we know Striker isn't a big fan of the blue bloods.

but if Striker were real and called me a blue blood, I will have to tell him I go by "purple blood" cause my side of the family married non-royals....

I mean even if I am technically a Princess, I don't have that official title.

(if you want to skip some of the stuff that talks about well the guardian angels, and even Jesus and King David as well as King Solomon, just scroll down a bit until you get to the words that are in bold...)

plus I might end up with a panic attack, I mean for all I know I could end up forming one with the stressful responsibility.

and even if I could try to be neutral with some Presidents, and at times even they can end up making me worry.

and yeah, Biden's smelling other's hair without their okay or consent is a bit concerning, even if what some people joke about it can put a little light and rumor to make others feel better.

like the Easter Bunny thing that my Mom showed me, that was funny.

and as weird as I can be, I can't help but wonder if my Guardian Angels, ever became visible and formed a circle around me,

and if I ever met Biden (though that would be VERY unlikely...and I really don't want to meet with Presidents.)

and if he did try to smell my hair, I can't help but think about one of my Guardian Angels holding their hands out to him and telling him "step away from the earth angel princess."

yep, that is a really weird thought....

I also wonder if there might be other Earth Angels who are also descendants of certain royalty.

I still rather just be a distant cousin of Jesus, because well some info I know I had found before, had made me concern.

even if some would love to be his descendant, I have reasons to be concern about being his descendant and only hope while still technically being family and both being descendants of King David...

but I still want to hope we are just distant cousins, cause not only am I a descendant of King Solomon, which I'm glad because it means I'm not getting that throne and I don't want it.

not being able to take it, is not a curse...it is a blessing.

plus I already know about the stereotypical view about descendants of Cain, even if most of his descendants are also descendants of Seth as well.

and even though not everyone has to agree with it, I'm still gonna view what Cain had become, was partly because of bad parenting.

I wont agree with some stuff he did was right, but he was falling into a very dark and emotional hurt place.

I know I tried to talk to my family about it, but they disagreed about it.

I know not everyone or my family will understand why I feel both Cain and Abel are at fault.

even if Abel had his good side, but at the same time he couldn't see that his brother was hurting and he was going to have a very bad breaking point.

and yeah, I guess my view on Archangel Samael is a bit trust issues.

as I can't help but question him, I mean I don't mind some fictional counterparts of him....but as for the original him...

and I know my worries about Norton, makes me worried if I will end up feeling not so great to the point of crying.

not having your family understand most of your not so great feelings, can stink.

even if my family can be there for me at times, like the good moments when they can be there for me.

but even if I try to get my Mom to stop smoking, she just can't...

and plus I'm scared of ending up alone, not being able to survive without my family...and I want to keep them with me for a very long time and have them live longer and not leave me alone.

even if I do like to be alone and have me time to myself, I still need them in my life, even if they do drive me a bit crazy at times.

even when it does upset me when they don't take my worries and concern seriously at times.

and of course I'm crying a little right now when thinking about talking about it.

I hate the fact my Mom can't stop smoking, I don't want to lose her and yeah she has explained before how she gets when she doesn't have it.

I don't know if I have fully told her how I'm scared and worried about it, I don't want her to end up like my Grandmother....her Mom of course.

I never really met my Dad's Mom or the rest of his side...

I still wish he had visited me a bit more when growing up, like I wouldn't mind if he visited once a while, like if he visited me when I was 5 and then 7, but instead I only met him once...

and even though I do suspect my Mom is a bit of a Gray-Parent, but I still love her even if we do have some arguments at times.

one of them being about Norton, even if it wasn't really a yelling type but still talking...

I guess one of the reasons I gave into what she insisted was safe and for the best, is because I didn't want her to be mad and upset with me.

I might not seem like a pushover, but I believe I can be so at times.

like agreeing with the whole letting my Mom talk me into Norton, which might not be 100% okay if it ends up being temporary.

and it gives me concern about not respecting my freaking browsing privacy, I already had a bad day before some days ago.

which I ended up having to lay down like I said, because of how bad I was feeling, like a overwhelming sad feeling.

and of course the next day, I have to my family talk me into the whole Norton thing, which I wish they didn't end up talking me into getting because I do NOT fully trust it.

like maybe I can try to be neutral about it, but it doesn't mean I'm fully happy with it, and it hasn't really fully proven to me if I can fully trust it.

even if some might talk positive about it but I want my concerns about it to be taken seriously and being told that I'm worried over nothing isn't gonna help either.

I wish I had NEVER agreed to it, I'm scared of it.

I'm worried that my concerns about it might prove about it might end up being true...even if my Mom and the rest of my family tell me I have nothing to worry about but I have EVERY right to be worried about it.

I mean, I don't think I had talked about it before, but there was one time my big brother pulled a certain thing that had to do with him spying on me and seeing what I was doing, I mean I can still love my big brother, but I rather him respect my privacy, even if he might not remember it or not, but I hope he never does that kind of thing again.

and yes it does have to do with a computer, I don't remember much about that time but I do remember it did happen...

and I guess if I think about it, that kind of breaks some trust.

I think I can still trust my big brother, and from what I have been told from my Mom, he has been very protective of me since I was a newborn.

also I think maybe it was a good thing I was born in a Catholic Hospital, which I didn't know it was until I was told and there were Nuns there.

I mean I'm not Catholic, but I guess I could of had some Ancestors that might of been, I know that some of my Ancestors had different religions that they were part of.

one of the reasons I say that it might of been a good thing I was born in a Catholic Hospital....

has to do with some disturbing stuff I found out about, which was talked about before and showed a clip of some movie that had Arnold Schwarzenegger I think.

I don't think I have ever watched the movie, but if what that nurse and doctor does in that clip turns out to be true, even with the snake.

well, I know it isn't possible, but it makes me want to punch that nurse and doctor....

I don't think I watched the full video that talks about it, I'm not even sure if I remember the name of it or all of what it had in it.

like only a little bit of it...

and I guess if I feel up to it, I can try to see about watching that movie someday, but maybe I can just look up info about it when I can...

maybe both God and Goddess had some influence in making sure I was born in that Catholic Hospital instead, if some stuff that was talked about from that video I found before ends up being true...

I mean I know I'm not very important, but I know I was my family's Weird Little Surprise...

I think I might of even been a unexpected creation when my soul was born.

I think some souls can be born a bit fragile, and even some stuff that can happen in our past lives can possibly make it bit more fragile possibly......and could possibly cause some to become a bit defective.

not everyone has to agree with it, but I think there are reasons why I'm a Defective Earth Angel, and it could have to do with trauma that happen to my soul more than once in my past lives.

which I'm glad that I don't have full memories of them.

even if some can have a bit more memories from their past lives, but it is possible not everyone will and will only get bits and pieces.

I'm not sure if I'm the only Defective Earth Angel or if there are others.

plus I think trying to pressure others to be 100% perfect and religious, might not be 100% okay.

I mean we can try to be good, and perfect in our way, but perfect can possibly have different meanings.

I mean it can be good to be religious, but there can still be a dark side on how you try to make others convert.

I mean you can asked them to think about it, but not force it.

I know I had that bad experience with a toxic-religious person...

who couldn't accept the fact I believe in a Goddess now as well, and yet they had to use the misused words at me and hurt my feelings, and even though I told them it was making me feel bad, they wouldn't freaking listen to me.

the words "may God have mercy on you." or "may the lord have mercy on you." (I know it was one of the two that toxic-religious person threw at me a few times...)

shouldn't be misused, I mean I can bring it up by explaining about well a bit of what I had remembered happening...

I mean my feelings were being hurt, and it didn't help that person kept throwing those words at me.

that might count as Toxic-Religious Trauma, I mean some people who are religious or not at all could get trauma from the actions of toxic-religious people and how passive-aggressive or fully aggressive they can be when trying to convert others.

but if one is going to convert someone, saying that if they don't or else they will go to Heck, might be a bit much.

even if I believe that Heck was a bit different before Lucifer and the rest of the boys took it over, and it is possible Heaven is made up of different sectors, and the sector we are in, are in fact in Quarantine.

not everyone has to agree with this theory, but I believe that the Heaven that we of this Sol System are assigned to...

is technically on Quarantine and has been for like a SUPER long time, even before Lucifer did his little rebellion.

the Quarantine might have to do with the imbalance of energies...

I think that it could be possible that Hell, before it became Hell....or we can just say Heck...

it might of been a bit different before it was called that.

it could be possible that Omni-Mom had to quarantine it, like save what hasn't been corrupted and touched by Lucifer and the rest of them who were under the influence of the Toxic-Masculine energies.

like ya know how in Steven Universe, Steven had to bubble the Cluster and the Cluster also helped bubble themselves.

we could view the Goddess placing Hell into a bubble, to keep it from effecting the rest of what is left of her part of the afterlife.

I know that might be a strange and weird theory, but I think it could still be possibly true.

not all theories have to be 100% correct.

another theory I have is that the Holy Trinity, might of been the Holy Unity once, which I guess I can talk more about my thoughts about that theory some other time.

I also want to say that family doesn't always have to agree with everything, but it is a good thing to talk things out and try to be calm even if you feel like your getting upset.

and I rather just try to talk things out calmly as I'm able to, than let it get to a point where both sides get way too upset.

even if I might seem like I'm in a good mood now, despite my talking about some of the off topic stuff in this.

I'm still not happy, and I don't like the fact my Mom brought up that Norton and couldn't try to understand that I didn't want to have it...

I mean I don't know if I can truly fully trust it, and even if I can have some trust to others and even some stuff, even I have some issues with trust...

and ya can't force trust, and it can take time for some trust.

also I'm feeling a bit hot, it might have to do with the heat being on.

I'm going to turn it off....I just can't stand being too hot...

I mean there is the good kind of warm and the not so great warm.

okay, apparently it was already off....I just need to have cool air on.

my body was never able to stand being too hot, even when I was little.

maybe the reason why I felt a bit hot even if it was a little, might have to do with how I was feeling...

I think if I remember right, there had been some moments whenever I got too hot, I would get sick.

and I don't think that happens much anymore, at least I don't think it does.

and yeah, it can suck finding out and finally realizing in most of your childhood, you were basically fragile.

and yes I'm talking about myself.

I forgot how many times I had to stay in a hospital and sleep there, but at least I had my family with me during those times.

and it could be possible I still might be fragile, but I could try not to think about it...

and it can be possible that there can be more people with a fragile side of them, and that fragile side can be different for each person.

I still wish my family would fully listen to me when it comes to well, that whole Norton thing.

but of course they had to have it their way, I mean at times it can be okay but other times not always great.

I know that I had forgot about the whole Norton thing before, like I know it was talked about in some ads, and at first I had no idea what my Mom was talking about at first...

and I wish I had said No a bit more or at least "not right now." when it came to her telling me to have Norton...

maybe I could of bought some time...

I hate the fact I didn't think of that sooner, like saying "can we try it later." but no, of course I didn't think doing that.

I think some might believe I should just fully respect and accept my families wishes, and while that can be true, but I at least want my feelings to be respected as well.

at times, life can stink and ya can only hope it doesn't all the time.

I don't think I'm a pushover all the time, just some percent of it.

and I still think that the song "Born Without A Heart" by Faouzia, matches some feelings.

it's still a great song and I do like it.

and I think I need to try to relax and try to do stuff that makes me happy, one of them being checking out art and watching shows and movies I like, playing video games and reading.

I wonder how many times a person can take becoming emotionally tired...?

even if you still have people and even stuff ya like to make you happy, and keep you from falling deeper into the not so great feelings.

and well, maybe I can talk about that in the next post.

I know that I still love my family, and I should be happy they do take some of my concern seriously sometimes.

but at times, it just seems that they some times don't, I mean they can still care but try to make me not worry or concern, like at least it does mean they care but at the same time they should try to fully understand those feelings of worry and concern a bit more.

when my family doesn't fully take my worries and concerns seriously and think it is nothing to be worried or concern with.

well not all family is perfect, and even if I might not fully trust it...

I can try to be neutral for my Mom.

even if the whole Norton still concerns and worries me.

#do not reblog without permission #mature audiences only #talking about feelings #my thoughts #family #i'm not happy #life stinks #november 2023

0 notes