#it’s not his best move but I’m sure his hands are tied & I wish sm would fucking do something bc I’m SURE after seeing his donations to

[theworld-accordingtocasey]

It’s not always about not caring! Sometimes it’s honestly just “I don’t have the energy to think about certain things”!!

#ENOUGH #empathy #compassion fatigue #downsides of being an empath #i can’t take it anymore #i want to scream #too many things are exceeding the limitations of my medications! #don’t @ me #nct is my escape #i care about what’s happening but most importantly I care about ME and EYE can not dip over this #if you have a problem block me #it’s not his best move but I’m sure his hands are tied & I wish sm would fucking do something bc I’m SURE after seeing his donations to #other causes dy DOES care there’s a whoooole lotta ppl involved in this dumbass move #it is what it is #yes he’s grown yadda yadda READ WHAT I JUST SAID #I’m TIRED #i repeat #do NOT @ me #opposing opinions are not welcome #leave me alone #toxic activism

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

HEY BESTIE ITS ME AGAIN! i was wondering if i could get a will request with angst. LOTS AND LOTS of angst about will and the reader seeming to always miss each other in sense of relationships and because of that the reader distanced themself from will so months pass by and they both are single then and they run into each other and eventually get into a fight bc he’s upset that they ghosted him and eventually have an angry love confession and happy ending?

thank u sm bff

YOU WANT ANGST, I"LL GIVE YOU ANGST...in a fairly decent amount cause this was hard to write for some reason🙃 sorryyyy @poulterfilms

~~~~~~~~~~

Why did life have to be so hard?

You watched as Will got ready for his date that night, giddy and excited to be going out, rambling on and on about how nice this person was, who he met a few days prior.

You just smiled and nodded along, pretending that your heart wasn't painfully throbbing with jealousy.

You hated this feeling, longing. It was strange, you never felt this way before with Will. You've been friends with him as long as you can remember, seen him have plenty of dates with other people. So why did you suddenly feel like you wanted him all to yourself? It wasn't like you at all.

"So, what do you think?" Will asked, snapping you out of your thoughts, slowly spinning around to show off his outfit.

You plastered on that same fake smile that you unfortunately got into the habit of doing nowadays. "You look great, Will. You always do." You didn't mean to sound so sad, but it came out that way and you internally cringed.

Will cocked his head with a confused grin. "You okay?"

You nodded your head eagerly. "Of course!" You stood up from where you sat and quickly adjusted the collar of Will's shirt, struggling to pull away when he smiled at you. "I always have to fix that damn shirt collar." You chuckled weakly, forcing yourself to take a couple steps back.

Will copied your chuckle, turning around to do a once over in his mirror. "What would I do without you?" He joked, but you frowned for a split second before shaking your head.

"Well, don't wanna keep the lucky date waiting, right?" You patted him on the shoulder, maybe a little too hard since Will rubbed his shoulder with a grimace afterwards.

"You are absolutely right. I'll be off then, night, love!" Will placed a quick kiss to your cheek, heading out of his house, leaving you alone with the ghost of the kiss lingering on your cheek. The innocent, and most importantly, friendly kiss.

You looked around the living room solemnly, looking to your feet to see the two pups you were trusted to take care of while the owner was out of his date. Welp, at least I have his dogs to share my misery with...

You had no idea how you let this happen. You've always seen Will as a friend, and nothing more. You've both hyped each other up when one of you scored a date. Will has seen you off to plenty of dates and never had a problem with it, so why couldn't you do the same for him?

Unbeknownst to you, Will actually has had similar feelings. He didn't know how it happened, but he developed strong feelings for you. He clearly knew you didn't feel the same, and he had to sit idly by as he watched you be in and out of relationships with people who weren't him.

He's never been one to get jealous, but he'd definitely be lying if he said he never was jealous of your partners. He wanted to be the one to hold your hand, he wanted to be the one to open doors for you, to be the one you smiled at when he wasn't looking. He decided to move on, even if it was the last thing he wanted. But his respect for you trumped his lust that he felt at the same time, he just wished he could turn his feelings off.

You decided to hole up in your apartment after Will came back from his date, the date that went "extremely well." The "he'd definitely be seeing this person again" date.

You couldn't say you were devastated, for obvious reasons. You didn't want to tell Will you had feelings for him, and you didn't want to be selfish. You always felt selfish nowadays.

You just felt like a burden.

It was hard hanging out with Will, always having to hear about his new partner, how they're so nice and kind and caring and apparently so fuckin' amazing...it made you want to vomit. It made you not want to hang out with him as much anymore, but thankfully, that decision was made for you. Will didn't have time for you anymore, he really wanted to make his relationship with this new person work, more than he wanted to keep your friendship strong, you thought.

Eventually, you just stopped trying to initiate conversations. Will would text you, all the time really, he'd just be too busy to see you. Between acting roles and sending time with his partner, you'd only be with him through text messages.

An epiphany struck you one day: you deserved better.

You knew you were right, and that's why it made your choice to painful. You had to cut ties with Will, but you had no idea how you'd do that without breaking down.

You took the coward's way out, at least, you thought it was cowardly.

You simply just stopped replying to his text messages. But once he started to text you messages like "can we talk?" you thought you might give him a chance. You said you'd do it tomorrow, then tomorrow turned into the next day, then a week passes, then a month. You stopped thinking about it, you didn't want to think about it, because every time you did, the urge to contact Will got stronger and stronger. You wanted to move on. You needed to move on. But, you never could get him out of your thoughts completely.

Months and months go by, and before you know it, it's Christmastime.

You'd decided to travel around after cutting off contact with Will, mostly just couch hopping with friends, exploring the area to get your mind off how heart broken you felt. It was a good distraction, for awhile. But now that Christmas was soon, you had to go back to your home town; you did miss your family quite a lot. But you did feel that similar anxiousness after coming back home, thinking about Will and the "what ifs." Will always loved spending time with his family during the holidays, and you knew he'd probably be in town.

Just going outside to check the mail was nerve wracking to you, but you chuckled bitterly at your paranoia, it's not like he was going to show up at your house out of the blue. He wouldn't do that.

Your family really wanted a Christmas tree, a real one. You tried to use your allergies as an excuse to just stick with an artificial tree, but your parents were dead set on having a real tree. It wasn't exactly a lie, you used to get real trees, you just couldn't be around one too closely or else you get into a sneezing fit. But you really just didn't want to be out in the town, just in case.

But your family dragged you along to help pick out a tree anyway, in the freezing cold.

You idly kicked some icicles that were formed on the bottom of tree branches, smiling subtly to yourself as you heard the crackle of the ice hitting the concrete. You looked over to see your family still trying to decide on what kind of tree they wanted, and you remembered how indecisive your folks were. You were gonna be there for awhile...

"Y/n?" As if you weren't freezing enough, the voice that you heard from beside you made a chill go up your spine, causing you to sink down more into your coat.

You looked to your left, unluckily for you, seeing your former best friend beside you, an unreadable expression on his face. "Will...? Uh, w-what are you doing here?" You weren't sure if it was the cold that made you stutter, or just the pure nervousness and almost fear that you felt.

Will uncomfortably shifted on his feet, taking a deep breath before answering. "My, uh, mum wanted to have a tree this year. I'm guessing yours did too?"

You nodded curtly. "Yep."

The awkward silence made you want to curl up into a ball and throw yourself off a cliff.

"We should probably talk." Will said.

"Uh," You nervously rubbed your hands together, "I don't think that's a good idea..."

"Why not?" He asked bluntly, his expression turning cold.

You sighed. "I...well, I have to help my parents get this tree so..."

"Fine. I'll come by later."

"Wait-"

"See you tonight." And with that, Will walked away in a hurry, not giving you the chance to refuse.

You bit the inside of your lip hard, a coppery taste coating the tip of your tongue when you explored the small dent in your mouth that you created from stress.

You figured this day would come soon enough. Karma's a bitch, as some say. You thought you'd have a bit more time to prepare yourself for a confrontation, but the universe decided to be a jerk and sucker punch you in the face with your regrets.

You went home, feeling like a knife was twisting in your gut as you helped your family set up your Christmas tree in the living room, constantly glancing at the clock every chance you could.

Eventually, your family decided to leave the house once more, having bought tickets to a play that night, which you politely declined to go to. You weren't interested in yet another retelling of the Christmas story acted out by little bratty children who couldn't remember their lines half the time. No, you have somewhat decent standards.

You just sat on the living room couch with your family pet, staring at the clock, seeing the hands move slowly until it finally reached nine o'clock. You untensed for a moment, thinking that maybe Will decided to not come over. The loud ring of the doorbell quickly squashed that idea.

You opened the door, not surprised to see Will on the other side, his cold expression unchanged from when you last saw him.

You said nothing as you moved aside, opening the door wider for Will as he walked in.

The air felt thick, like there wasn't enough oxygen for both of you to be in the same room. It felt similar to whenever you pulled your blankets over your head when you were little and afraid of the dark, thinking that nothing can hurt you if you were completely wrapped up in the comfort of your duvet, but never getting enough fresh air to keep those blankets over your head, eventually having to pull the blankets off to breathe. You really wished you had a blanket now...

"Well?" Will broke the silence, looking to you expectantly.

You shrugged slightly. "Well what?"

Will chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. "You know what, Y/n." When you didn't reply, he continued. "You stop talking to me all of a sudden, for months, not even telling me why. I need to know why, I deserve an explanation."

You sighed, looking anywhere but at him. "I just...needed some time away..." What a fucking lie...

"Some time away, really? That's your excuse? We were best friends, everything was fine, so what went wrong, huh? Why did you just up and leave everything behind without telling me?" You closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself as his voice got louder with every sentence. "Are you even listening to me? Do you hate me now, is that it? I don't know what I did, please, tell me." He pleaded.

"Will..." You whispered, finally looking to him to see unshed tears in his eyes. "it was me, not you. You didn't do anything wrong..."

Will stepped closer to you, his arms crossed. "Do you have any idea how much it hurt to be ghosted by the one person you thought cared about you the most? It really fucking hurt. And now, you're just standing here like you don't even care."

"I do care, Will." You said softly, reaching out to touch him but he quickly flinched away.

"Then why did you leave? I want the truth."

"I wasn't happy...with myself...with you." You started, walking over to take a seat on your couch. "I felt alone. You spent all your time with your partner, you rarely had time for me anymore."

"Wait, my partner?"

"Yeah...the beginning of this year, you started dating that person, I forgot their name..."

Will shook his head. "It didn't work out with them, I'm not seeing anyone, haven't for awhile. But that's not the point. Why didn't you just tell me that you felt alone? You know I would've made time for you if that's what you needed."

You felt like you wanted to scream, frustration starting to consume you, but you settled for a muffled groan. "It wasn't just because I felt alone..."

"Then what?"

Fuck it...

"Because I hated seeing you date other people. I absolutely hated it. And when you started gushing about how amazing this person was, I felt like I wanted to bash my head in with a hammer." Okay, maybe that was a little exaggerated, but you got your point across.

"You didn't want me to date other people?" Will's heart beat rapidly in his chest, just the thought of why you possibly felt that was making him anxious to ask, "Why?"

You were scared to answer, afraid of his reaction. What if he hated you? That would be the worst case scenario, you'd rather die than have him hate you. But, you did owe it to Will to tell him the truth. The unfiltered, honest truth.

"We've been friends for as long as I can remember. We always told each other everything." You smiled weakly. "We'd always be happy for each other whenever we went on dates and found people that made us happy. But...there was a point where I realized that no matter how many dates I went on with other people, I never truly found happiness in those people. Because, I always thought about someone else...you." You looked up at Will. "You've always been the one person to make me truly happy. And I finally figured it out, it's not because you were my best friend, it's because...you're the one I always wanted to be with, Will."

Will took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to take in your words. "That night, when I was about to go on that date, you weren't yourself. You looked sad..."

"I didn't want you to go. I wanted you to stay with me." You wiped away a few fallen tears with your sleeve, sighing tearfully. "I was being selfish...really selfish." You frowned.

Will carefully sat beside you, looking straight ahead. The red and green lights placed crookedly on the Douglas fir being one of the only light sources in the room, illuminating your tear ridden face and causing a reflective shine to Will's glassy sorrowful eyes.

"I had no idea." Will said, being the first one to break the silence yet again.

"That was kind of the point." You sniffled, curling your knees up to your chest.

"...I'm sorry."

You furrowed your brows, looking to Will in confusion. "Why are you sorry? I'm the only one who should be sorry."

Will shook his head. "No..." He laughed sharply, clenching his fists in his lap. "It's funny."

"What is?" You asked, trying not to sound offended.

"I've spend years trying to get over my feelings for you, and you tried to do the same. Guess I'm not as intuitive as I thought."

You silently gasped. "Will? You...? Huh?"

Will smiled weakly. "I only started dating other people because I was trying to push away my feelings for you, and of course, it didn't work."

"Will, if this is some joke-"

"It's not. Have I ever lied to you?"

"...no. You've had feelings for me this entire time? And I punished you for it..." You said as you felt the tears well up in your eyes again.

"No, Y/n, no. You had no way of knowing, just like I had no way of knowing how you felt about me."

"I'm so sorry, Will. I never should've left."

Will quickly grabbed a hold of your hand, bringing it up to his lips to place a gentle kiss on your knuckles. "You're here now. It's okay...we're okay."

"Can you ever forgive me?"

Will smiled softly. "Of course. I've never been able to stay mad at you for long."

You frowned. "What if I deserve it?"

"No. No, you don't. It's all going to be okay."

You took a deep breath, trying not to burst into tears again as Will pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. "What now?"

"Maybe it's too early to ask but...we could go on a date." Will chuckled weakly.

You looked back up at Will, trying to hide your growing smile. "Really?"

"If that's what you want."

You looked at the clock. "It's getting a little late, I don't think that many places would be open right now. We could go out tomorrow?"

"It's a date." Will smiled.

You sighed. "I really wish I would've talked to you about this instead of running away..."

Will shook his head, bringing his hand up to gently caress your cheek. "I shouldn't have raised my voice earlier. So now we both have something we regret. But it's okay, Y/n. I felt like running away quite a few times myself whenever you went out with someone else...or just hiring a hitman or something."

You laughed genuinely, playfully pushing Will's shoulder. "I think my family is gonna be home soon."

"That's my cue to leave, I take it?"

You pouted. "I don't want you to."

"Well, hey, we'll see each other tomorrow." He smiled.

You walked Will to your front door, frowning as he opened it. "I never used to be the clingy type with anyone."

Will turned around to face you, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you in for a warm hug. "It's all going to be okay. We're gonna do this thing right."

You pulled away with a huff, looking deeply into his eyes. "I really want to kiss you right now." You giggled.

Will grinned, replying to your statement by leaning in, delicately brushing his lips over yours before fully placing them onto yours passionately. You could truthfully say that the kiss made you weak in the knees, it was everything you imagined it to be and more. It was intoxicating.

The kiss quickly got heated, and you didn't know if you'd be able to stop yourself. Will grabbed at your sides, trying to pull you even closer than you were already, eliciting a quiet moan from you when he gently pulled on the roots of your hair. But you finally forced yourself to stop, trying to catch your breath.

"Sorry." Will quickly apologized.

"I didn't want to stop." You snickered, running your hands through your now tangled hair. "We haven't even gone on our first date yet and I already want to rip your clothes off."

Will blushed and grinned. "Guess we'll just have to save it for tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow it is."

~~~~~~~~~

I had trouble writing this, if you couldn't already tell. Ugh, I have no idea why the reunion bit threw me off balance so badly

#will poulter #will poulter imagine #will poulter x reader

[astranva]

Heather.

Word Count: 2k

Category: Angst

Warning: Language? idk

Request: pls write an angst based on Heather by Conan gray i love ur writings sm

Summary: In which Harry is the Heather of his own story.

this won’t have a second part, let’s keep it sad 💀

thanks for requesting, anon! hope you like it and thank you sm🤍

// masterlist //

..

You were there for as long as Harry could remember, and that was so many years.

He was convinced that many scriptwriters and directors heard of your friendship’s story and that was how most rom-coms were made.

But the rom-coms had something that Harry was yet to have – the happy ending he kept wishing for.

It wasn’t your fault, really. Sure, you were a little oblivious but it was also a little unfair saying that was the only reason why Harry hadn’t gotten his happy ending because he knew that at the end of the day, it was him not making a move and admitting his feelings for you throughout all these years.

Harry remembered how for his 16th birthday, you had saved up to get him and yourself tickets to see Coldplay live.

He remembered how you cried as you hugged him after his X Factor audition as you all stood backstage.

He remembered how excited he was when he first introduced you to the rest of the boys when they were put in a band. Hell, you slept over with them at Robin’s for a couple of days.

He remembered how you flew out for the weekend when Zayn had left the band, knowing that Harry needed your presence.

He remembered how you were the first person he went to when he decided to make a debut solo record.

He remembered waking up to your singing in Jamaica, munching on honey toast as your face would light up the moment he came to view – “Good morning, H! I squeezed some fresh oranges for you.”

He also remembered how his face would heat up when he was just a kid whenever his family would mention that you and him were bound to end up together.

He remembered how his first heartbreak wasn’t from a relationship of his own, but it was when you got into one at 16. He hated it.

He remembered helping you with your dates, reacting to how you thought a new crush was, holding you as you cried.

Harry remembered how despite being in love with you since he was a teenager, he didn’t take a step towards having you more than a best friend.

And God, his journals were proof of that love; the love songs, all those ones about unrequited love, the short poems he wrote in the dead of the night.

He had cringed when he told you that he was seeing someone, only to have you become excited and genuinely happy for him.

If you could do it, why couldn’t he?

He was staying over at yours, a normal occurrence for when he was home. He could’ve as well just sold his house at that point.

“Have anything I can wear? This isn’t too comfortable.” He had asked you as the both of you lounged, watching a stand-up comedy.

“Yeah, just choose whatever you want.” You nonchalantly said, not caring if he went through your clothes – not like this was anything but normal for the both of you.

“Too lazy to move.” He mumbled, looking up at you from where he was; his head resting on your lap as you played with his hair.

The smile that came to your face was one Harry mirrored without knowing, staring at you as you continued to watch the show. “I’m not moving.” You stated.

He groaned, standing up, “Will you still play with my hair when I come back?”

At that, your eyes moved to him, “Yes, you baby.”

That was all the assurance he needed before he walked to your room and opened your wardrobe, going through your clothes without messing anything up; you liked your clothes neatly folded at all times.

Reaching one lilac sweater, Harry took it out before holding it over his upper body, finding that it would probably perfectly fit.

Taking off his own top and putting on yours, Harry’s breath instantly hitched in his throat, stomach tied up in knots.

It smelled like you.

It smelled like fresh vanilla detergent and the coconut scent he adored so much.

Running his hand slowly across his body, Harry turned to look at the mirror, eyes falling on the item that screamed your name louder than the beaded necklace you had made him months ago that decorated his neck – “Golden, because that’s what I think you are” you had said.

He gulped, fingertips grazing the material.

“Harry! You’re missing all the good bits!”

“Coming!” He shouted back, hoping you didn’t catch the crack in his voice.

After one final look, Harry had walked back to you, placing his head on your lap.

“Good choice.” You had commented softly.

“Yeah?” Harry almost whispered, “Feels comfortable. What material is that?”

“Just polyester,” you shrugged, “Hate how it looks better on you though.” You had joked, giving him a gentle tug to his hair.

Harry had giggled, closing his eyes as you scratched his scalp softly, “Thanks.”

After that day, it was like Harry claimed the sweater. He’d beeline to it the moment he stepped a foot in your house, frowning at you on some days when you told him that it was getting washed.

Days turned to weeks, and before Harry could do as much as blink, you were back from your work with a smile brighter than usual.

He was sitting on your couch that day, in the lilac sweater, a smile drawn to his face as soon as his saw yours, pausing the music that was playing from his laptop. “You look happy.”

And you were, because you had given his cheek a soundly smooch of greeting, unaware of Harry’s cheeks reddening.

You hummed with a nod, “I have a date tonight with, quite possibly, the cutest person I have ever met.”

He wasn’t expecting that.

Harry was not expecting that.

His smile faltered, only staring at you.

“They’re just,” you sighed, staring at the ceiling with a hand to your heart, “A dream, you know? Hey, wait! You know them!”

“I do?”

“Yeah,” you nodded eagerly, “Chelsea introduced them when we went to that pub 2 weeks ago, remember? Charlie?”

“Oh.”

And he did. He remembered how pretty Charlie was, how they seemed to keep conversations going and made sure everyone was listened to, how Charlie’s style stood out in the pub, how their jokes made everyone laugh – including him. He remembered how Charlie’s eyes lingered on you when you talked, how the both of you seemed dived into a conversation of common interests. He hated it.

Charlie really was a dream. Yeah, he hated that, too.

Harry had helped you decide on an outfit, his chest feeling as if it clenched around his heart to a point where his cage would combust.

He helped you with your hair, spraying the back of it for you because you had always complained about not reaching that part well.

Fuck, he even painted your nails that night – they were in lilac.

And he was there when Charlie picked you up, a genuine smile on their face that looked nothing like the petty one he wore.

“Do you need us to bring you anything, mate? We’re having Italian.” Charlie had offered.

Why did Charlie have to be kind and polite? What happened to the assholes they portrayed in rom-coms?

“No, thanks, Y/N made me lasagna earlier.” Harry had chuckled, watching you smile at the interaction.

“Go to sleep by 9, Mr.” You had joked as you left, Charlie’s hand on your back.

“You know it.” Harry had mumbled with a weak smile, giving you a nod.

By 7, Harry was almost sure he yanked all his hair out, despite the mirrors assuring him that he didn’t.

By 8, he tried to eat, but the nauseous feeling that ran through his body at the thought of you with someone else made him put the casserole back in the fridge.

By 9, Harry had called Mitch to break the news of your newest date, only to hang up so soon when Mitch was beginning to tell him how he still might have a chance.

By 10, he wrote a song. One full song.

By 11, he had the tune for it.

By 12, Harry watched you kiss someone who wasn’t him and he had no one to blame.

“How was it?” He managed to utter, watching you stand against the door with the widest smile.

“Perfect.”

That was the beginning of everything but what Harry wished upon a constellation for, because by the second month of you seeing Charlie, you had made it official.

Charlie was perfect in all aspects; hell, even Gemma liked them when she met them as the 4 of you had brunch one day.

But then Charlie was around your house more that Harry just wasn’t that comfortable to sleep over anymore.

He remembered how the three of you were watching a movie one night, Charlie having been wanting to get to know Harry more since he was “someone Y/N talks about and loves so much” – Charlie said that with no drop of pettiness, Harry wondered how they did it – when Harry just couldn’t take any more of you cuddling someone who wasn’t him and before you and Charlie could process it, Harry was out with an empty excuse – “I forgot my guitar at Mitch’s.”

His guitar was resting against the very couch he was sitting on.

But nothing prepared him for that one moment.

Charlie had invited him for the barbecue party they were hosting and if it weren’t for your puppy eyes, Harry would’ve been sulking in the comfort of his house and not in his car while he was on the way to oh-so-perfect Charlie’s.

He heard Lizzo playing the moment he got out of his car, and it was how he knew that it was your playlist playing.

He had brought cake with him, walking cautiously with the boxed dessert in his hands.

The door was opened, a few smiling people passing by him before he was met with yours, only as always, your face lit up once you saw him.

“You’re here!” You didn’t care that he was holding anything in his hands that restrained him from hugging you back because you threw your arms around him, leaving a kiss to his cheek, “Everyone’s been asking for you. Something about how it was weird seeing me without you.” You giggled.

“Partners in crime, eh?” He smiled at you, referring to the phrase you have been using with one another since school.

“You bet,” you wiggled your eyebrows, “Oh, shoot, sorry, didn’t notice you had this. Um, come, let’s put it in the kitchen.”

You were comfortable in Charlie’s house, Harry noticed. It was no surprise; he would’ve been more worried if you weren’t seen as you had been together for 6 months.

Placing the cake in the fridge, you and Harry then walked to where everyone was.

And that was when he saw it.

Charlie lied on a lounge chair, laughing and looking all attractive, in the very lilac, polyester sweater Harry had found comfort in.

He watched as you walked over, Charlie instantly putting a hand to your waist as they smiled up at you before you leaned down, pressing your lips against one another.

“Act natural, would you?” He heard Chelsea’s, a mutual friend, voice beside him.

“What?”

“If you can’t be happy for Y/N, try to act natural around them,” Chelsea sighed, her heart breaking for her friend as she looked at Harry who was yet to move his eyes from the couple, “Charlie’s great, you know?”

“Yeah,” he gave her a dry chuckle, “Yeah, I know.”

“Then why aren’t you happy that at least they’re not an asshole?”

“Just,” Harry looked at his friend, a defeated look on his face before the sound of you squealing gleefully grabbed his attention, watching as Charlie had their arms wrapped around you from behind, the both of you laughing as your friends all smiled in awe, “Just wish I were Charlie.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles angst imagine #heather #harry styles angst one shot #harry styles one shot #bestfriend!harry

[arhvste]

KUROO TETSURŌ - PERMANENT PLAN

➵ summary : ‘love’ a word with multiple meanings, given and taken in different forms and an untouched territory you’d always been frightened of. everyone’s temporary, so you didn’t need to know what love is anyway, but kuroo insists that he’s anything but momentary to you.

➵ genre : x reader - angst , fluff

➵ an : this was just a drabble that eventually became a fic, it’s something i’ve been playing around with in my drafts for a while but this was my personal perception of the world before someone showed me that the worlds a lot nicer when you see the glass half full rather than half empty and there are people who want you to be part of their permanent plan

➵ inspo : sincerity is scary - the 1975 - american money - BØRNS

Love.

The word the world seemed to revolve around. Such a trivial thing to you.

How could one rely on a single emotion so much? How could people find motivation to seek out a feeling that’s just meant to find you naturally and in it’s own time.

In a world with countless people, how could you be so sure you’d found ‘the one’? Surely there was always going to be someone who’d be a better match for you somewhere else.

How bothersome.

You’d watched friends insist they’d found their ‘one’ only for that to have been a lie a handful of months later when you’d get calls from them sobbing on the other end of the line.

Love seemed like an indescribable feeling to you. You were certain you’d never experienced it past family bonds and somewhat platonic bonds, but that was as far as your knowledge on the subject reached.

You were frightened of the feeling in all honesty. Untouched territory you’d refused and continually refuse to enter.

From the outside, love seemed like a good look to wear. People you knew insisted it was the best feeling in the world to become fond of a special someone, to experience all the clichè scenarios one could only read about in books. You had to admit, some of your friends wore it well. You saw a brighter side to them while they embraced the thrill of what they claimed was love. The world seemed a little more pleasant in their eyes during the time period they were going through the phases of these unexplored but seemingly exciting emotions.

That all came crashing down in a matter of time though. You’d seen it over and over again. The once praised and celebrated feeling suddenly unbelieved in and torn apart to shreds. The world dimmed a little darker than it was before and tears clouded visions.

The feeling of love then became distasteful to you. Not wanting to ever go through the shattering heart break you’d seen so many go through, you swore off long-term connections with the same people. Everyone had a time limit and in your head that was the safest option.

The plan you’d kept in action over the years was simple. Keep people at arms reach for a while and gradually let them slip off by themselves. Everyone was replaceable and everyone was temporary. The world moved on and so could you.

Over the years, your mindset slowly set in and people would come and go. Some would linger a little longer than other who’d sometimes disappear as quickly as they apperead. You didn’t mind though. That was what you wanted anyway. It was for the best.

Of course, the world will always throw a spanner in your personal works and this particular spanner the world had tossed your way came in the form of Kuroo Tetsurō, your neighbour and close enough friend of 3 years now.

Kuroo was someone who had been around longer than you seemed to keep others. He never questioned it, noticing signals that you weren’t the type to touch on emotions and feelings out loud, he let you get on with your life and was content with being kept just at arms reach to you.

For now he was anyway.

You didn’t go out of your way to talk to many people and people who you had previously called friends that now scrambled for meaningless small talk with you if you were unfortunate enough to run into them. The feeling of awkwardness wasn’t a personal favourite of yours, you often opted to stay close to Kuroo to avoid having to deal with forced conversations elsewhere.

You weren’t quite sure what it was about Kuroo that kept him in your life for a longer limit than others. Maybe he was a little more persistent than others. Or maybe he felt the need to stay on good terms with you since the two of you were neighbours and you’d already been introduced to his grandparents and father. There were various reasons you assumed were the conclusion as to why Kuroo hadn’t let you slip from his grip just yet, but you were always prepared for it to happen eventually after all, everyone is temporary and Kuroo Tetsurō was no exception.

Fridays were the days most people you knew would go out and let go of the stress pent up over the week just gone. To you, Fridays were a routine. You’d go to Kuroo’s house for dinner with his family and then yourself and Kuroo would head out to a field closeby and lay down a chequered blue and red blanket behind the hill that blocked out the city lights from the view over the farmland and talk for hours on end under the stars.

The scenario itself could be seen as romantic perhaps, but to you, it was nothing more than de-stressing with a friend. You had a right to let out all the built up frustration the same way everyone else did, you just did it in a different way.

Today was a Friday and you were glad. Glad you’d have two days off from cramming pieces of information you were almost certain you’d forget and never need to use again after exams. Glad you didn’t have to watch one of your friends whine about her ex boyfriend's new girlfriend. Glad you were going to be able to voice out these silenced thoughts that had formed and bothered you all week and receive no judgement for it.

“Ready?”

Kuroo was leaning against your locker like he would everyday when you’d walk home together.

“Yeah.” You hummed as he took his place beside you as the two of you strolled back to your neighbourhood.

Conversations on the walk back home always consisted of Kuroo telling you about training. Various stories about members on his team were retold to you and he’d always make sure to tell you every detail. You’d always listen and give input when he asked or given clear signs of implication he wanted it. That was something you liked about Kuroo.

You were transparent enough with each other.

Both of you were able to read the others behaviour well and knew what the other wanted. Kuroo was able to read you emotionally well and you hadn’t even realised it until this year. He always respected your feelings and situations regarding other people. He never once questioned your morals or ties with others and left you to your own devices. Sometimes, he’d test the waters a little and try to see if he could perhaps get something out of you.

Any sign that you would open up to him a little more, let him in a little more, anything he could get a grasp of. He’d always stop when he knew he had gotten as close as he could get to you. He never tried to pry the doors of your life open but instead waited patiently outside the door and would wait for it to slowly creak open every so often but still never taking it upon himself to increase the gap in the door when a crack was opened and letting himself in.

You appreciated that about him.

A part of you wished you could open the door a little more for him, but Kuroo Tetsurō was not an exception to your life and you’ve had to remind yourself of that a little more often in the recent days.

By the time you’d reached the Kuroo residence, he’d told you an amusing story regarding his best friend Kenma and teammate Lev who you knew was a first year. According to Kuroo, Kenma had been given the task to help Lev out a little more in training much to his demise. You found the story ironic given that Kenma had been unenthusiastic about the sport until recently he seemed to be a little more willingly involved.

You had assumed this was because the National Spring Tournament was approaching fast and this would be Kuroo’s last chance as a highschooler to attend and go far in the competition. To you it looked like Kenma was preparing to move on ready to acknowledge that Kuroo wouldn’t be competing alongside him next year. He wanted to make Kuroo’s last year worth it and even though Kenma hadn’t admitted it out loud, you knew enough about both his and Kuroo’s friendship to know that it ran deep and unspoken promises were constantly fulfilled in their tight bond. They had the type of bond you had previously wished to contain with someone a few years back but that desire was nowhere near as present these days.

Still, that didn’t mean the burning yearn had completely been extinguished yet. A small flickering flame was still alive deep inside of you, you just refused to ignite it further.

“Yeah, Kenma wasn’t thrilled with the new responsibility he’s been given but he’s still doing it and I know he’ll actually try to help Lev in his own way.”

“I’m sure he will Tetsurō.”

At this point, Kuroo was unlocking his front door as he concluded his story. A few more seconds of his messing with his keys and the door opened. He pulled the silver key out and stepped out the way to let you in first, bowing slightly as he did so.

“God you’re so pretentious.” You hummed as he snickered behind you and closed the door once the two of you had stopped inside and been welcomed by the smell of cooking food.

“Tetsu, Y/N! Is that you two?” a shrill but somewhat soft voice rung from the kitchen.

“No, it’s some thieves who are about to ransack your house!” Kuroo teasingly called back as his grandmother scoffed at him emerging from the kitchen doorway.

“Well, aren’t you just the stand up comedian today.”

You laughed and smiled at his grandmother whose face brightened as she caught sight of your face.

“Ah, Y/N! How was your day my dear? I’ve made you your favourite tonight so I hope you’re hungry.”

The older woman approached you as you nodded and smiled.

“I’m always hungry when it comes to your cooking.”

“Flattery will get you anywhere Y/N.”

“It’s not flattery, it's genuine.” you shot back at the older woman who only chuckled and wandered back to the kitchen.

“Didn’t know you knew what the word ‘genuine’ meant.” Kuroo casually said as if he hadn’t just exposed something so raw about you.

“What’s that meant to mean?” you quickly replied, irritation filling your senses.

Kuroo saw this and immediately surrendered. He’d already gotten too close to the line and you hadn’t even sat down for dinner yet.

“Nothing, nothing, just ignore me.” His tone stitched with the thinnest threads of guilt.

You frowned at him slightly but let it go. There was no point in getting so easily worked up especially when you knew the boy meant no malicious harm.

“Come on, let’s go up to my room for a bit, dinner won’t be ready for another 15 minutes I’m going to assume.”

You nodded and grabbed your bag to bring up to Kuroo’s room.

You liked Kuroo’s room, it was very; him.

It was clean but a small clutter of papers and books were piled and scattered along his desk. It amused you that his work area seemed to be the only chaotic section in his room. He was academically organised but his desk would tell you another story. That was just his work process you supposed, so you never brought it up to him. A bed with plain white sheets dominated the most space in his room and a stuffed dog sat at the centre of two pillows.

When you had entered Kuroo’s room for the first time a few years back, he immediately insisted that the stuffed toy was a childhood gift he’d grown attached to and he simply couldn’t throw it away. You smiled thinking about the sentimental side Kuroo carried and didn’t seem to mind expressing. He was very family orientated and liked things with meaning behind them. His stuffed dog ‘Chow’ (Kuroo had told you the toy’s name was a reference to his favourite childhood film ‘Cars’ as he would often repeat the iconic phrase “Kachow” when he was younger although the cogs in his brain were a little smaller back then, only being able to pick out the “chow” part of the catchphrase.), lived in the exact same spot at the top of the bed and between two pillows and Kuroo never failed to leave him there after making his bed every morning.

It was the little details like this that made Kuroo a little more interesting to you. Perhaps that was one of the reasons you didn’t mind him enduring his time with you a little longer than you usually allowed others to. He didn’t mind sharing little facts with you and was always open for you to read. He never went out of his way to hide things from you and always made sure the two of you were on the same page.

You placed your bag down on the floor, left side of his bedroom door as you always did and sat down on the bed. The mattress dipped as Kuroo’s weight followed after yours. He leaned over and grabbed his TV remote from his bedside table and switched it on to scroll through the various saved programmes the two of you would watch together. It was an unspoken rule that Kuroo wasn’t allowed to watch certain series or documentaries without you and he followed this rule obediently even though neither of you had voiced it out.

Instinctively, Kuroo selected the series the two of you were currently watching together. ‘Your Lie in April’ seemed like a good choice at first but Kuroo soon found that it was a lot more emotional than you had first anticipated. You usually kept your emotions in check and hardly let them show past brief happiness. Kuroo would observe that you always just seemed content. Not particularly happy but not sad either. You just seemed to ease your way through life and take each day as it comes. ‘Your Lie in April’ seemed to bring out a soft twinkle in your eye as particular scenes triggered something within you. A few days ago, you had told Kuroo the series was boring and you wanted to watch something else, he wouldn’t allow that though. He told you that you had started it so now you had to finish it regardless whether it was good or not. He liked to finish something properly and you had no choice but to understand that. His real intention was to see that unusual twinkle in your eyes a little more often. He hadn’t figured out quite what it was or what it meant yet but something seemed to be trying to break out, you just wouldn’t let it. He knew you had inner emotions, but when he’d been deprived from seeing them by you, he was desperate to witness any emotion that wasn’t your usually appeased aura.

“Tetsu, I told you this is boring!” you whined as the two of you sit back and let the intro play.

“And I told you we have to finish it! I want to know if Kosei and Kaori ever perform together!”

“You’re such a sap ew.”

Kuroo laughed and poked your side as the episode finally began to play. The two of you sat in silence as you focused on the screen. Kuroo would have to admit his attention was a little more on you than the TV but he couldn’t help it. The flicker in your eyes was back and Kuroo noticed that it would reappear in the more emotional scenes with the main protagonist. Maybe you related to the main character. He seemed pretty content with just getting on with his own life. He didn’t seem particularly happy or sad either until the girl, Kaori came into his life.

Kuroo liked to think he was your Kaori; without the dying part of course. He could only hope that he brought a little more light into your life even though you seemed to prefer the dim brightness. It didn’t matter to him though, he was just grateful you’d kept him around for as long as you had. He wasn’t stupid, he knew you had a tendacy to let people drift in and out of your life, not letting them stay long enough to make an impact. He was certain he had some sort of impact on you though. After all, you had been coming over to his house every Friday for 2 years now and you never once cancelled or complained.

He was sure that this tradition had been engraved into your life and he had made some sort of change to your routine. He didn’t need affirmation from you, he knew he had you somewhat hooked onto him the same way he had hooked onto you. Neither of you spoke about it though. The unspoken and lingering feeling of relying on each other was definitely present but neither you or Kuroo seemed to approach it head on and confront it.

That was okay though. As long as he knew that you could rely on him to at least keep you at the surface rather than letting you fall and drown into an empty pit you seemed to have been digging for yourself, he was okay with that.

After around 20 minutes, the two of you were called down to dinner. Kuroo paused the episode and switched the TV off before waiting for you to shuffle off the bed. The two of you headed downstairs to the dining room, elbows bumping into each other, Kuroo had a soft smile on his face as you playfully nudged each other down the stairs.

Kuroo’s grandparents were already sitting down and Kuroo’s father was just walking in at the same time. You smiled at his father and thanked him for having you, to which he only laughed.

“You don’t need to keep thanking me Y/N, you’re practically family now!”

Family huh?

While Kuroo’s father probably didn’t mean to stir inner conflict in you, he did. The statement sent waves through your system as you tried not to overthink it. Did they really see you as family? How were they going to feel when you’d eventually disintegrate from their daily lives? Would they be mad at you or would they not care?

It didn’t matter anyway. The same way everyone was replaceable to you, you were replaceable to them. You were certain Kuroo would eventually forget about you too, maybe even find someone better to spend his time with and give his undivided attention to. The feeling of rejection stung ever so slightly but it confused you at the same time. The whole reason you kept people at a distance from you was because you never wanted to feel the effects of rejection. So why was it starting to hurt now? You weren’t romantically involved with Kuroo and nor had you snuck out of his life just yet. He hadn’t replaced you and hadn’t given you any implications on doing so ever. So why was the feared feeling beginning to surface?

You did your best to shove down your growing concern throughout your meal. Talking and laughing with Kuroo and his family whilst you ate. Everything seemed okay and you thought you were doing a good job of compressing the unwanted affects your thoughts were giving you. Things went smoothly and you seemed normal on the exterior but Kuroo was a perceptive person and could tell throughout the whole meal that you were in battle with yourself. He kept quiet for the time being though and let you keep up your act a little longer. He’d confront you about it later when there were no other distractions or ears other than his for your voice to reach.

You thanked Kuroo’s grandmother for the meal and helped clean up the table and kitchen as you usually would. Kuroo’s grandmother would wash the dishes while you and Kuroo would dry them and put them away. He’d reach the shelves your smaller form couldn’t reach. “Teamwork makes the dreamwork!” He’d declare every week resulting in your eyes to roll and a sigh to leave your lips. “This is hardly teamwork, I can do it myself.”

Kuroo smirked and shook his head. “With the assistance of a chair perhaps but why go to those lengths when you’ve got a perfectly strong, tall and capable man here to do it for you instead?”

Kuroo’s grandmother would snort and make a witty comment back to Kuroo teasing him for his perception of himself and Kuroo would find himself with no reply as he had got his own wit from his grandmother and there was no answering back when it came to her.

20 minutes of cleaning would always go by fast and the kitchen would be back to it’s homely but immaculate state as the three of you worked efficiently.

“The blankets under the stairs in the cabinet, I washed it a few days ago so it should be clean.”

You thanked the older woman and Kuroo pressed a soft kiss to her cheek in appreciation. You snickered and teased Kuroo for being a Grandma’s boy but he’d only shrug and ask if you could blame him. You couldn’t in all honesty. His grandmother had been close to him and she always gave Kuroo the support and tenderness his actual mother couldn’t. She was a perfect substitute and Kuroo would probably claim that he was raised in the best way possible even if his family wasn’t exactly the typical cookie cutter family dynamic that others had.

You’d have to agree with him as you saw no faults in their family. His family figures had in fact done a good job of raising Kuroo right and they had every right to be proud of him and the way he’d turned out. You even felt a sense of pride when you thought about him. You’d never voice it though, never admitting to growing somewhat attached to the boy you’d never allow yourself to acknowledge it. You were not to keep anyone closer than arms length to you and Kuroo Tetsurō was no exception.

You and Kuroo padded up the stairs to his room where he tossed an oversized jumper in your direction. Your blazer wouldn’t suffice as protection from the cold and it was a pain to carry a coat to school as the days were warm, it was only in the evenings the temperature decreased.

He shrugged one of his own jumpers on as you followed suit. The slightly frayed ends reached past your fingertips as you brought them close to your face. It was clear this time, Kuroo had lent you a jumper he had shown a little extra love to. He must’ve worn this one more than the others and the strong natural and comforting smell of him lingering in the threads of the fabric only proved your hypothesis further.

Kuroo made his way over to you and took your sleeves into his hands and he rolled them up a little. Just enough for your fingers to peak out so you could use your hands without excessive material getting in the way. The small gesture was another thing Kuroo never failed to complete every week either. He’d always make sure your fingers peaked out his hoodies at least a little to prevent you from losing grip onto anything. He also liked the way your warm fingers would brush up against his as the two of you would walk next to each other. It was almost like your hands were teasing him to hold them. He’d thought about taking your hands and intertwining your fingers together as you’d walk over behind his house and into the field where you’d always sit in the same spot and just talk about anything and everything that came to mind. He had restraint himself from doing so however. He wasn’t sure if you would be comfortable with that and the last thing Kuroo wanted to do was drive you away or worse yet, have you cast him out further than you already kept him. For now, he’d just have to put up with you unintentionally testing his patience.

You had been walking, soft hums of passing vehicles in the background as the city lived on through the night. The sounds became more distant as the two of you trekked further away from the urban area and deeper into the more rural territory.

The hill the two of you would always sit behind came clearer to your vision as you approached it and walked around it rather than over it. You had previously told Kuroo you were not going to make the effort to hike over it and Kuroo just laughed and deemed you lazy despite the fact he had no intention of ever making the journey over the mound of land himself.

After striding through the grassy land, the two of you had made it to your spot. A green patch of grass that hid the lights of Tokyo behind you and gave you a clear vision of the stars littered above your heads. Kuroo laid the blanket down as you both took your seats on the ground as you let out a sigh.

Conversation would naturally flow between you during these hours, whatever came to mind was spoken and neither one of you would hand judgment for what was said between you. Kuroo watched as you still handled the inner conflict that had struck up inside of you earlier. While you assumed you were doing a good job of concealing your slight stress, Kuroo noticed you seemed a little less focused and more immersed in the world of your own. You hadn’t even noticed that he was staring and observing you and you mindlessly tried to witter on about something that had happened in class. You sighed and looked up the stars, a peaceful silence blanketing over the two of you. Kuroo was yet to bring up his observations of your behaviour but decided that now wasn’t the right time as he anticipated your next words.

You both tilted your heads up to the sky as the stars glittered contrasting the dark night sky.

“Do you ever consider that we’re like the stars Tetsu?” You softly spoke as neither of you tore your eyes away from the view above.

“In what sense?” he murmured back, not daring to look at you.

“In the sense of they're just scattered. They’re aimlessly placed and compete with each other to shine the brightest. People are just like that too.”

Kuroo hummed and angled his head to catch sight of your soft eyes momentarily. “Explain.”

You exhaled and closed your eyes briefly.

“No obvious place in life, just thrown into things and have to make their own way from there. Regarding the competition as to which star can shine the brightest, people compete in the world of hierarchy and often strive to be the best in their industry and shine the brightest for others to admire.”

Kuroo sat up properly and turned his gaze in your direction. You noticed this and looked back into his eyes that seemed to be figuring something out. A moment of silence was left between the two of you as Kuroo thought about your perception.

“But,” he began, eyes never once losing focus on yours. “Have you ever considered that a lot of these stars are contributes to constellations?” He contrasted against your point as you raised an eyebrow.

“Each star in a constellation is connected to another building a small community of stars together, some may not be as bright as others but they’re always there no matter how dim they can be. ‘Draco’ wouldn’t be ‘Draco’ if there was a star missing would it? Each star holds a purpose even if it doesn't shine the brightest.”

You didn’t miss the way Kuroo’s eyes desperately searched yours. He was looking for any signs of misunderstandment or confusion as he continued his point.

“So, I think yes you’re right about people being like stars, just in a different way to what you think. Everyone has connections and is part of some sort of community like the stars are and even if they don’t shine the brightest, people are always there to support and connect with you even if it may not seem obvious.”

Kuroo’s point seemed more like a personal examination and answer for you. He had figured you out and you hadn’t even realised till now. Did he know this whole time you had people so casually passing through your life? Was he aware that you were expecting the same thing to happen to him? You had no idea and you didn’t know if you wanted to know either. Perhaps he’d be mad at you for not making your intentions as clear as you thought you should’ve or maybe he wouldn’t care at all and he’d obliged and let you be part of his temporary plan as you had been on everyone else's.

“I know Y/N. You’re not exactly good at being deceptive, well; when it comes to me anyway.”

You desperately tried to think of an excuse.

Why wasn’t he laughing or mocking you for being so detached? Surely he must’ve thought you were a waste of time now so why wasn’t he showing signs of annoyance or anger.

“K-Kuroo -I”

“-Kuroo? I thought I was Tetsu. You can’t just back out now that I’ve figured you out!”

His voice had a tone of hurt and if you weren't so focused on him and his actions right now, you may have missed it. But you didn’t.

“No! No, it’s not like that it’s just- You, no-” You couldn’t think of anything to say to him. What could you even say to someone who had read you like an open book and done their thorough research on it. There was nothing you could say other than the truth now and you both knew this.

“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” His hand inched closer to yours as a calming expression met your own.

You inhaled and exhaled and cleared your head slightly.

“I’m only temporary, why do you care so much?”

There it was.

Your true feelings towards the situation and the people around you. But Kuroo wasn’t like the people around you so why was it hard to tell him? Then again, he was to be treated like everyone else in your life had been, as Kuroo Tetsurō was no exception.

“Who says you’re temporary?” Kuroo’s eyes widened as worry and regret washed over you. He had a sympathetic look to him and had a sense of sadness of his own. Did you really just think you were temporary to him? Did you think that way towards everyone?

He was prepared to confront you, expected you to tell him that you just fell out with people easily. He had no idea of the weight of the burden you carried and he certainly didn’t like you felt this way and let yourself be weighed down by it.

“Thats just the way it is.” your voice barely above as whisper as Kuroo looked at you with disbelief. He shook his head. His hand begging him to let it interlock with yours. He held off just a little longer. You were vulnerable and he refused to take advantage of that no matter how small the gesture seemed.

“Why? Why are things that way? Who told you they have to be that way?” his voice calm and collected with small pitches of sadness as he practically begged you to give him an answer. Maybe he hadn’t made as big an impact on you than he initially thought. Maybe he was wrong this whole time about what he was and was hoping to be to you. God, this hurt him just as much.

You shuddered and shook your head at the boy.

“I don’t want to know what love is. I don’t want to risk the aftermath of rejection. I’m scared Tetsurō. I’m so so scared.” A vulnerable look replaced the usual bored look in your eyes. Kuroo watched the way your fingertips gripped the edges of his jumper and the way you cast your gaze down. He didn’t like it one bit. Why did you feel like that? Had you been hurt before unbeknownst to his knowledge? He thought he knew you inside and out.

“Love...it’s scary yes but it’s exciting too. It’s unexplainable Y/N, I couldn’t possibly give you an answer as to what it’s like. I do know,” he gestured for you to look up at him. “that you will experience it in some form at some point in your life. It’s inevitable. You shouldn’t feel frightened though. That’s what other people are for. They’ll be there to pick you back up and dust you off if things do go wrong. The same way the stars connect together, people are connected and you’ll always have people to rely on.”

Nothing but genuine emotion went into his words and you knew this. So why were you still trying to fight it?

Kuroo picked up on this and sighed. He didn’t know this was the reason you had avoided letting people in. The reason seemed somewhat confusing but he also saw your point at the same time. You lacked trust in yourself and that was something Kuroo wanted to give you if you weren’t going to give it to yourself.

“I-I’m sorry! This is stupid I should’ve just kept quiet. I bet you think I’m a waste of time oh god, I’m so sorry Tetsu, this is why I don’t let people get involved with me.” tears threatened to spill but you’d refuse to let them. You’d done so well up until now. Nobody suspected anything when you’d gradually drift away but life is never that generous to let things go your way all the time. Kuroo Tetsurō was an obstacle you couldn’t beat and sometimes in life you have to admit to defeat.

“God Y/N, you’re not temporary to anyone especially not me! I’m not mad at you I just wish you’d rely on me a little more. I want to be part of your constellation I just don’t know if you want me to be.”

Tears brimmed your vision a little more and you could barely speak but managed the next few words out.

“I’m only part of your temporary plan, we all move on eventually and you will too.”

“You’ve always been a part of my permanent plan. Always have been, always will be. I don’t care in what way, but I’ll always want you to be a part of my life. I never intended on letting you go no matter how much you wanted me to.”

Without even realising it, your hand had edged closer and closer to Kuroo’s and you could feel the warmth of his hand close to yours. Your breath hitched as you took a deep breath before Kuroo continued.

“I can’t promise you a life of no disruption, I mean you’ve seen how loud my laugh is and you’re the only one who puts up with my irritating provoking for so long.” You laughed at this. “But what I can promise you is lessons in love. Let me not only teach you but let you learn with me. I have little to no experience but I have some idea of how it’s meant to feel and I’m pretty sure it’s how I feel when I’m with you.”

You sighed. “What am I going to do with you?” you murmered closing your eyes. A soft smile gracing your lips. The first genuine smile you’d given him since leaving the house.

“Take me up on my offer and let me take care of you. We’ll take it slow but I want you to know it’s okay to trust others and let them in a little.”

You looked down and noticed Kuroo’s hand had enveloped over yours. You liked the feeling of his larger calloused hand over yours. It felt right. This felt right.

You were unexperienced and anxious for now. Territory untouched now so close to your feet, but Kuroo wanted to step into that territory not in front of you, but alongside hand-in-hand with you.

“Take good care of me from here on out then.”

Kuroo smiled and gave your hand a light squeeze and you leant in a little closer to him as the two of you sat under the seemingly aimless but connected stars.

You hadn’t let a lot of people into your life. Everyone stayed a few metres away from the door and they’d eventually leave after they never seemed to open. Kuroo had decided to wait and in the end it seemed worth it. The doors had opened for the first time and that’s what told you Kuroo Tetsurō was in fact an exception.

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[helaintoloki]

Could you do Ben + 11 for the holiday prompt list pls? It just sounds super cute 😍

a/n: i loved writing this sm and i hope you guys enjoy it ♡

warning: language, lots of fluff

*11: getting each other as your secret Santa // taken from this prompt list

You couldn’t help but feel nervous as you stood on the front steps of Allison’s home with your neatly wrapped gift held tightly to your figure and waited for someone to answer the door. This was to be your first Christmas with the Hargreeves siblings since you were children, and you hoped you’d be able to keep up with infamously chaotic super family. You also hoped that the person you’d drawn for secret Santa liked their present; it was safe to say you’d be crushed if they turned out to be disappointed by the gift you’d so meticulously chosen for them.

The door swings open and a gleeful Klaus greets your meek figure in the doorway. Adorned in an ugly Christmas sweater that reads Merry Xmas Fuckers and equipped with a glass of eggnog in hand, the seance eagerly tugs you inside and scolds you for not having come in sooner.

“You poor little thing, just standing out in the cold like some lonely orphan,” he says dramatically, draping an arm over your shoulders and guiding you into the living room where the rest of the siblings reside. You take a moment to admire the lavish Christmas decorations that adorn the house and make a mental note of Allison’s decoration skills— her house was warm and inviting and big, and the best part about it was that it was all hers. She prided herself on the fact that she’d earned it on her own, without her powers, so it was only natural that she make a display of grandeur in her home for the holidays.

“Y/n!” Allison exclaims with a smile the moment you enter the room. Her excitement pulls all attention towards you, Diego and Luther ceasing their quarrel over the last candy cane and Five and Vanya looking away from George Bailey on the tv screen. Ben is nowhere to be found. “I’m so glad you made it.”

“Of course,” you reply with a meager smile, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You can put your present under the tree over there, we’ll be doing the gift exchange after dinner,” she chirps merrily.

“Umm, so where’s Ben?” You try to ask as nonchalantly as possible while setting your gift down in the designated area— the much larger boxes and elegantly wrapped presents make you insecure about your own— but the knowing smile she gives you tells you that your attempt to be discrete has failed.

“In the kitchen. You should go see if he needs help, something tells me he might be struggling,” she laughs, and you take that as your cue to venture off to find your friend.

You make sure to smoothen out your top and pat down any stray hairs before curiously peeking into the kitchen, and a smile pulls at your lips at the sight before you. A frazzled Ben stands in front of the counter skimming over the stained pages of a holiday cookbook. His clothes would be absolutely ruined if not for the frilly apron with Mom embroidered on the front tied around his torso, and despite the cheerful Christmas music playing from the speakers the poor thing looks absolutely stressed.

“You doing okay in here?” You ask with a quiet laugh, your heart skipping a beat at the immediate relief present on Ben’s face when he sees you.

“Please help me,” he begs. “I’m a terrible cook and I have no idea what I’m doing yet somehow I was put in charge of baking the gingerbread men.”

“Alright,” you giggle, standing beside him at the counter to look over the recipe, “lets see what we’re working with here.”

Ben, relieved to have you here, is now anxious for a much different reason. You’re close to him, so close that every time you reach across the counter for an ingredient your arm grazes against the sleeve of his sweater. The soft jingling of your bracelet and the sweet smell of cinnamon that emanates from you makes him dizzy in the most pleasant way, yet he says nothing. What is he to say? That he’s in love with one of his closest friends? A friend that he’s shared with his siblings since they were kids? No, it would make things weird, and Ben didn’t want it to be weird, at least not anymore weird than it must be to have a man with tentacles that protrude from his chest be secretly in love with you.

“You’re quiet,” you note with a small hum, and Ben is impressed to see that you’re already beginning to cut the shapes of the little gingerbread men into the dough. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, no,” Ben rushes, “just looking forward to the gift exchange is all.”

You say nothing after that due to the nerves that arise at the mention of the secret Santa event, but Ben takes your silence as satisfaction in his answer, and so you both continue to bake with only the sounds of the speakers to fill in the quiet space.

“Okay, present time!” Allison cheers only to be met with a chorus of sluggish groans. After Ben’s short lived panic the cookies had been baked to perfection and all was set for a lovely dinner. Allison and Diego were amazing cooks, but almost everyone now felt too full to so much as move a muscle. Klaus had taken to the couch and was half asleep watching old Christmas cartoons, so to Allison’s dismay it seemed the gift giving would have to wait.

Seated on the floor in front of the tree, you find your gaze shifting from the group in front of you playing cards to Allison and Five who clear off the table and then back to the gifts in front of you. All seem to glimmer underneath the lights, and despite the fact that such a sight would normally bring joy to anyone who looked upon it, you couldn’t help but feel nauseous at the thought of giving your gift to your assigned person. Maybe if you had gotten someone like Vanya or Luther you wouldn’t be so nervous, even getting Five would have been better than who you had. The stakes were higher because- well, because when names had been drawn and you’d eagerly unfolded your scrap of paper you’d been terrified to see the person fate had chosen for you: Ben.

It wasn’t Ben you were terrified of. No, not at all. It was your feelings for Ben that scared the living daylights out of you and made you wish you could turn invisible whenever he so much as breathed in your general direction. You’d been in love with him since the time chocolate milk accidentally shot out of his nose at Griddy’s when Klaus bumped him just a little too hard, but so many years had passed and nothing had ever seemed to happen between the two of you. You grew up, grew apart, and for a few years you didn’t hear much from him or his siblings for that matter. But then Reginald passed, and Pogo surprised you with an extended invitation to the funeral— he felt that your presence would be good for the children— and suddenly you were back in each other’s lives.

Ben was a friend, a good friend, and you knew each other better than you knew yourselves. You knew that his nose always scrunched when he was angry, and he knew that if you began to fiddle with whatever jewelry you wearing in the moment it meant you were nervous. There was history, and to ruin a friendship like that purely because of your own selfish desires would be a disaster. You couldn’t do it, it didn’t matter what Allison said or how you felt, you would settle for being his friend and nothing more.

So lost in your own tangent, you don’t notice said friend standing before you until he gently clears his throat and gives you a sheepish smile in return for your surprised features.

“Hey, you...?” Ben says, visibly cringing at the awkwardness of his tone. “I was thinking of getting some fresh air, do you want to come with?”

“Oh, y-yeah,” you smile sheepishly. “Sure.”

“Cool. I’ll grab your coat for you.”

You watch his figure disappear, your stomach twisting in knots as you contemplate your next decision, and before you can change your mind you quickly grab his gift from underneath the tree and hide it from view as best as you can. You know Allison wants to open gifts together, but you’d prefer giving Ben’s his in private. At least if he’s disappointed you can save yourself from the humiliation.

Ben is already waiting for you outside on the front porch, and with a careful smile you quietly sit beside him and stare out into the night sky. The stars twinkle brightly overhead, and you find yourself subconsciously checking to make sure the moon is still intact. It’s been a chaotic year, but you’re glad to be nearing the end, and you’re glad to be here with Ben.

“So um, I know we’re supposed to exchange gifts together, but I couldn’t wait,” you say, and Ben is pleasantly surprised to see you pull out a neatly wrapped gift. “Merry Christmas from your secret Santa, I guess.”

“No way,” he laughs softly, “that’s crazy.”

“What’s so crazy about me being your secret Santa?” You retort with mock offense only for him to grin.

“Nothing,” he shrugs nonchalantly, “except for the fact that I’m kind of your secret Santa, too.”

“Wait, what?”

You look at Ben in shock as he carefully pulls out a small, neatly wrapped box from his sweater pocket and delicately rests it in your lap. There’s a bashful smile on his face and a red dust on his cheeks, but you decide to chalk it up to the cold air outside. Nonetheless, a disbelieving laugh leaves you at the sight of your gift.

“What a pleasant surprise,” you giggle.

“Yeah, that’s kind of why I asked you out here. I also wanted to give you your gift in private, maybe make it a little more personal. Do you want to open it?”

“You open yours first,” you interject, a nervous smile tugging at your lips. Ben laughs.

“Alright, let’s see,” he says with a small smile. Your stomach is full of nervous fluttering as you watch Ben carefully tear away the wrapping paper before opening the box. His eyes light up in surprise when he sees the inside, and you hold your breath as he carefully pulls out the contents. A smiling pink sea monster meets his eyes and the Horror can’t help but to laugh at the sight of it. “Is this...?”

“It’s exactly the same as the one I lost when we were kids,” you reaffirm with a bashful smile. “I always felt so bad about the fact that you let me have it only for me to lose it, so when I saw it I knew I had to get it.”

A smile brighter than the sun curls upon his lips, and his eyes almost seem to sparkle underneath the moonlight as he pulls out the second item in the box. With a softer gaze now, Ben stares down at the frame in his hands and feels his heart begin to swell. A familiar photograph, one of his personal favorites in fact, from your childhood rests behind the glass, and when Ben looks to you his eyes are glossy with tears.

“I love it, y/n,” he says gently, immediately pulling you into possibly the tightest hug you’ve ever received. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad,” you reply, relief immediately washing over you at his reaction to your gifts. However, the butterflies persist, and you have to remind yourself that Ben is your friend and nothing more.

“Now open yours,” he says excitedly, his eyes never once leaving your face as you unwrap your gift in the same skillful manner Ben had used for his own.

A velvet box greets you underneath the colorful paper, and with a gentle prodding from Ben you slowly remove the lid to reveal a beautiful gold locket underneath. A small gasp leaves you as you look from the necklace to Ben.

“Wasn’t the spending limit like, forty dollars??”

“Oh hush, open the locket!”

Carefully taking the necklace out from its box, you gently pull the heart shaped hatch back from its place to reveal the exact same photograph you’d gifted Ben in the frame.

“You’re kidding,” you breathe out with a laugh. “The same picture?”

“Great minds think alike, right?” Ben jokes, but there’s a fond look upon his face as he looks at you. “I just really wanted you to know how much you mean to me, because you’re really important and I just... I really love you.”

Your heart skips a beat at his confession, and as Ben looks at you with hopeful eyes you decide that life is too short to let fear hold you back. Setting the box down beside you, you scoot closer to Ben and take a deep breath.

“I have one more present for you,” you say, prompting Ben to peek up at you curiously.

“What is it?”

And on the front porch of Allison’s house with the stars shining bright above you, you kiss Ben Hargreeves for the first time.

#mel’s holiday prompt list #I’m sorry I just love ben’s sea monster plushie #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves imagine #ben x reader #ben imagine #the horror #number six #the umbrella academy #tua #tua x reader #tua imagine #request

[darling-has-a-smol-heart]

🌻 tell me whatever you'd like, i would love to listen <33

THANK YOU HACE I LOVE YOU SM--

After ages of thinking, i decided i want to nerd about Bojack horseman.

You don't need to read all of this essay, just the chance to actually PUT these thoughts somewhere makes me happy <3

*rubs hands*

OK SO

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTER ARCS

I am trash at wording so don't be surprised if this is poorly redacted.

(A LOTTA SPOILERS AHEAD)

Bojack is by far the most relatable character in the show, for me at least. It's funny how this series teached me how to make relatability via struggles. I've never seen such an accurate representation of depression, and some episodes hit real close to home- for example, the "Stupid piece of sh-t" monologue at the beginning of the episode of the same name. They don't dramatize it, like OTHER SHOWS DO- (Yes 13ReasonsWhy I'm looking at you), and paint an accurate picture of how this illness holds Bojack back from being the better person he wants to be. His relationship with his mom was... Interesting to say the least.

The old Sugarman Place episode was haunting. Showing how the abuse from Beatrice's father shaped her into the person she ended up being. And how the cycle of abuse painfully repeats for generations. Her brother's death, her having to deal with his mother's grief and depression alone since her asshole dad didn't do sh-t to help the family move on after Crackerjack's death, and her mother's eventual and tragic lobotomy.

Just,,, Jesus this show.

Another thing I love about it, is how it made me understand that it was okay to emphasize with Beatrice, but one needed to understand that it didn't justify all the horrible abuse SHE put on Bojack, forever hammering in his head the "Don't stop dancing" motto.

Now, back to Bojack cuz BOY this is going to be a long essay.

The moment i knew this show was special was in season 2's "Escape from LA" another 'fuck-your-mind-up-and-move-on' episode. The things Bojack did were so terrible that- I mean i couldn't believe it. I was thinking all along "Nah, he wouldn't do it, he's the protagonist, he can't be THAT bad-"

AND THEM BOOM.

The mf almost sleeps with a 17-year-old and the show slaps you in the face with the realization that THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED-

Something that makes me laugh are the consequences, not because they're stupid or anything like that. But were painfully accurate.

I think my mind was as anxious as Bojack's. Once the ACTUAL truth about his involvement in Sarah Lynn's death, and the cycles of abuse of power in his relationships came to the public eye, came what I expected: people actively shutting him out, insulting him, giving him those horrid judging looks,,, urgh- i felt that. (That second interview that revealed everything could have gone better, but it also could have gone worse. They didn't even explore the Escape from LA incident, or Gina's strangling in Bojack's opioid lash out.)

But yeah, once after the events of The view from halfway down (THAT I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO COVER CUZ OH GOD I WON'T FINISH) things start,,, looking up? Sure, Bojack gets arrested for trespassing (even though he affirms that he thinks it was for a but if everything) and he spends a good time there with the other inmates, they participate in plays, and even Bojack himself admits that he would go as a volunteer once he was out of jail.

I thought the consequences were going to be WAY worse, but when you look back at it you go: "Huh, well that wasn't that bad-"

Now, the final episode.

I LOVE the relationship between BJ and Mr. Peanut butter. The lad finally decides to dedicate time to himself and to not to worry about his marriages. You just gotta love this dog.

Then, Princess Caroline.

I LOVE HER OK?

Her entire character arc about being a mother and finally letting go of his codependency on Bojack was magical.

Seeing the roots of her impulsive "i have to take care of everything" attitude through the 6 seasons allowed me to see her grow, change. Seeing her triumph and fail (very painfully sometimes, man).

In the final scene with her it's so wonderful to see Bojack cheering on her, and Princess Caroline openly admitting she won't work with him anymore. And both just, dancing peacefully to the vals, accepting that their relationship is over with such big smiles... *Sobs*

God. This. SHOW.

And now, good boy Todd.

I kind of relate to him too, and it gives me hope to see him being so independent after everything.

After Bojack ruined his Rock Opera so he wouldn't leave, after he also rescued him from that Improv cult, after all of the good, and ALSO the bad. He leaves.

He goes to make his new life, with his girlfriend, in a new apartment, and now in a good relationship with his mom. It's so wholesome I love Todd sm-

And even after actively pushing back from Bojack, he's still there to support him and cheer him up, even backing off so he doesn't get pulled into that again.

His words in his final scene always stuck with me "It was nice while it lasted right?"

Perfect.

And now,,,, Diane.

Holy cow where do I even start.

I do agree with most fans about how she wasn't "as good" in the first season, and how that changed in season 6, where we see her in a more domestic environment.

Now, I always loved Diane. I emphasized a lot with her struggles of being a writer (those episodes made ma laugh), not appreciating the little things we have, and wanting to do great things but- not- quite reaching it.

I always found interesting how she never let go of Bojack until it was "too late"

They always brought up the worse in each other, two people with the same unhealthy coping mechanisms isn't exactly a good combination.

I teared up when she moved out with Guy and actually learned to trust the feeling of safety, after a whole life of being used to abuse, that was everything that made sense to her. But it didn't have to stay like that. It was hard for her to start taking her antidepressants again but she did and she got better! (Shame Bojack pushed her into breaking point-)

The last scene, of her, of Bojack, of the entire series, I always rewatch "Nice while it lasted" for this scene only.

She confronts him on how he called her before he almost drowned in a pool. She thought he was dead, she thought it was her fault for not saving him. But as Bojack said "It was never her job". But he always made her feel like it was.

Oof... You can't actually fix that, can you?

Diane's "You can be grateful for the people around you, even if they weren't meant to be in your life forever" hit me like a truck. It actually helped me to learn to cut ties, that it was okay to be grateful, to not forgive horrible things, to move on and wish the other person the very best.

And then they sit, staring at the night sky, Catherine Feeny's Mr. Blue starts playing.

And I am bawling my eyes out.

That moment of silence, when there's nothing to say, when you both understand that this is it, and there's nothing else to do than to admire the night.

God. THIS. SHOWWWW,,,,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And lastly, thank you so much for this opportunity Jace, i love you so much <3

This series has helped me a lot (like you have <33) and I'm just so happy to share my nerdiness of this show <3

#This is just me praising Bojack horseman; keep scrolling; it's ok #Mmmmmmmmmm Bojack thoughts go brrrrrrrrrr #Jace—-

[slowlydrowningme]

But My Makeup’s Ruined Pt 2

Anon asked: Do you think you could do an angst that’s dick grayson x fem reader where he cheats on the reader with kori? I love your sm au so much ❤️❤️❤️ I typically like longer stuff but write as much as you want if you even wanna write it. No pressure 🥰🥰

Anon 2 asked: 3:31am and I just read your 'But My Makeup...' fanfic and IT's JUST. It aches. Somehow, when I'm writing DickxReader, which I love, I'm still kind hshsj I can't he'd be like this 4 Kory. So, this fic was really great to me. I was thinking if you could make a part 2? Like Kory goes to talk to the reader because she didn't wanna hurt anyone. Then maybe *timeskip* reader gets to be friends w Dick again. My dad cheated on my mom and they're not together, but still friends. So could be "happy" ending

Rating: T (mild swearing)

Word Count: 4531 

Warnings: Mentions of cheating but that’s about it

Pairing: Dick x Fem!reader (though they have separated)

Notes: Here is the second part that another anon had asked me for.  This has a confrontation with Kori and the a time jump where the reader and Dick have their first conversation since the morning after that night.

Tags: @this-is-what-makes-us-fandoms

Part One

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You expect the numb feeling that overtakes you the days following the night you found Dick and Kori together.  It wasn’t a surprise that you just sort of shut off your emotions in order to preserve your sanity as much as possible.  There was too much to get through and you just needed to steel yourself and get through it. 

The day after your stay at Jason’s safehouse, you found yourself at Dick’s apartment packing up the things that had accumulated there over the time you two had been together.  Clothes, bathroom items, and just other knickknacks.  You made sure to leave each and every picture of the two of you but took all the ones of you without him in them.  Photos with his brothers and your common friends that you knew you would be upset about not having down the road.  

The last item you placed in the box, despite knowing Dick would probably want it, was a painting that Damian had given the pair of you last Christmas.  It wasn’t of anything in particular, an abstract swirl of colors and emotions that had spoken to you the instant you had unwrapped the plain brown paper tied with the gold bow.

Dick could go fuck himself if he thought you would leave that behind.

With one last glance around the room, you had pushed down the overwhelming sadness and dropped your key onto the counter top before walking out of a place you had considered home for so long.

The following day you had called Jason to come grab the box of things you had gathered so he could bring them over to Dick for you and he had done so without a single complaint. You had thanked him by promising to meet him for lunch later in the week, because it would have just been too much right then and there.

So that was how you found yourself opening the door to reveal what you had thought was Jason, but instead was someone you had absolute no desire to see.  Ever.

“Kori,” you said flatly, clenching your teeth to keep the bubbling anger and hurt from exploding out of you in the form of word vomit.

“I know I am one of the last people you ever want to see, but I was hoping we might be able to talk?”

“You know I’d love to, but I have plans and you’re dangerously close to ruining my good mood.” The words have a bite to them, but Kori still smiles a small smile.  

“I ran into Jason downstairs and he said to call him when you want him to come back.”  Of course he did.  That bastard.  

Taking a moment to think about whether or not you want her in your home, you consider your options. Having this talk at home means you’re well hidden from prying eyes seeing your possible breakdown.  But having it outside means that you’re forced to be civil because you know that there’s always someone lurking who knows your face from your relationship with Dick or your job.

With the options weighed, you step aside and let her come into you home and close the door behind her. Remaining near the door, you don’t know what the social protocol is for having the woman your ex cheated on you with in your home.

“Can I get you something to drink?”  You ask, mostly to fill the silence.  You’re surprised to hear her soft laughter.

“You’re just as kind as they all made you out to be.”

“Who?”

“Everyone.  Even Dick.”  You wince at his name on her lips and move past her to go to the kitchen to get yourself a drink, mostly just to have something to do with your hands.

“Got me far, didn’t it?” Your voice is bitter as you pour the water into the kettle and set it on the stove to boil.  “Tea?”

“Sure.”

“Look Kori, I’m not sure what your goal was in coming here.  I don’t really have anything to say to you and I definitely have nothing to say to him.”

“I actually have something to say, if you’d be willing to hear it.”  Looking at her with narrowed eyes, you find yourself considering your options yet again.

“Fine.”  You know you don’t owe her anything but you also know she didn’t know about you when Dick first kissed her.  And you have a creeping suspicion she didn’t know two of the other three times they had hooked up.  The term made you want to roll your eyes because it sounds so casual and you know it was anything but for both of them.

Leaning against the counter near the stove, you watch Kori purse her lips and look down at the counter of the island that separates you two.  You know she’s trying to figure out where to start, probably didn’t think you would actually listen to what she had to say.  But she had been right, you were too kind for your own good most days.

“I know Dick,” you flinch at his name again and she sends an apologetic look your way.  “I know he told you that I didn’t know about you when he first kissed me.”  You nod your agreement with her statement and she nods back.  “But I don’t think he realized I didn’t know about you until the night you found us.”

“How did you find out?” Morbid curiosity and all that.

“Roy, actually.”  Well that made sense.  You knew she, Roy, and Jason had formed their own team for a while and had gotten fairly close.  And you had met Roy through Jason because the red-headed archer hadn’t been too fond of Dick in those days.  “I think he thought I had known all along when he had mentioned you, trying to make me feel guilty.  But when I just ended up confused, he explained.”

“He’s a good man.”

“He would have many examples of why you are very wrong,” she laughed and you can’t help but give a small smile in return.  “But you are correct.  He is a good man.  And he is quite fond of you.  As they all are.”

You’re not sure what to say to that but you’re saved the need to say anything when the pot whistles on the stovetop and you’re given a distraction.  You quickly prepare the tea and don’t bother asking Kori what she prefers because this is your home and she unknowingly destroyed a two and a half year relationship.  Setting a cup in front of her on the counter, you lean back against the counter behind you again and hold your own in both hands.

“Y/N…I never would have done anything with him if I had known.  And the night you saw us, I had told him that.  I had told him mere moments before you came in that what he was doing was wrong and I couldn’t be part of it.”

“But you still kissed him again.”

“I did.”

Taking a sip of the mint tea that had been a gift from Alfred a few months prior, you wish you knew what to say to that.  You wished your apparent kindness came with a manual for moments like these.  You had been manipulated in the past and it had caused you to develop a thicker skin, but this wasn’t one of those moments.  This was uncharted territory.

“Dick,” you forced out, clenching your jaw at his name and trying hard to keep the anger and hurt at bay as best you can, “called you his drug.”

“He is mine as well.”

“I only know second hand what happened between you when you broke up, but I know that there are just certain people in our lives that are just supposed to be ours.”  Kori hummed in agreement as she took a sip of her own tea. “He is yours.  He was never mine.  I realize that.  I can’t be angry with that fact.”

“But you’re hurt, and you should be.  I’m not here to excuse your emotions or my actions that led you to this point.  I just wanted you to know that my part in this was never intentionally against you.”

“We could have been good friends, I think.”

“Maybe one day we still can be.  If your kindness is what everyone says it is, I’m sure there is hope for us.  And, perhaps, for you and him.”

“Maybe.  But not any time soon.”  Setting your cup down next to you on the counter, you cross your arms and shrug a shoulder.  “What he did was wrong and I am angry that he couldn’t at least respect me enough to be honest with me before he was forced to be.”

“Secrets are a way of life.”

“Not with me.  It shouldn’t have been that way between us.”

“That’s true, but hindsight and all that,” she waved a hand in the air and your eyes rolled, knowing she had a point.  “Look, that’s all I wanted to say.  I’m going to leave now and hope that one day you’ll forgive my part in this.  I also hope that you’ll forgive him one day too.”

Looking away from Kori to the windows to your left, you hear the clink of her cup being set on the counter and soon enough the sound of the door shutting behind her.  You probably should have told her you had already forgiven the both of them because you had learned long ago that holding onto that kind of anger was disastrous to your own mental health, but it was too late for that.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, thinking about the conversation that you had just had, before your phone sounded from it’s place inside your pocket.  Tugging it out, you glanced at Jason’s name lighting up your screen before thumbing open the message.

You good?  Kori said she left a while ago.  Need to reschedule?  The thoughtfulness made you smile as you typed out your reply and hit send.

No, I could use a good burger and maybe a beer to two to wash it down.  Meet me there in 10?

I’m downstairs waiting for you already.

You’re the best.  I’m coming down now.

And the moment you stepped out of your building into the muggy Gotham air, you felt something like peace rushing over you.  You weren’t okay by a long shot, but for the first time since the infamous night you felt like you would be.

 (Three Years Later)

 “Thank you, Jefferson,” you say softly as you slide out of the black car with the driver’s help. You look up at the familiar Manor with trepidation, smoothing down the front of your black gown.

“Shall I remain close, ma’am?”

“Hmm?”  You looked over at him, his words registering slowly at first.  Smiling in thanks for the man who had worked for you for the last two years, you squeezed his upper arm and moved to head up the steps that would take you up to the door. “Go have dinner with your family. Plan the usual time.”  You heard him chuckle as you ascended the stairs.

Before you could reach the door to ring the bell, you saw it opening and revealing a familiar stern, but warm face.  Using the hand that was not holding the hem of your gown up so you wouldn’t trip, you reached forward and took Alfred’s hand in your own in greeting.

“Miss Y/N, it has been too long.”  And it had. Ever since your split with Dick, you couldn’t bring yourself to come by the Manor.  If any of the family had wanted to see you, they knew they had to meet you elsewhere.  It had just been too hard to handle those memories.

“It’s so wonderful to see you, Alfred.  Thank you for your care packages.  You always send the best teas,” you say softly with a squeeze of his hand as you step into the house.  The decorations for the evenings event were just tasteful as always and you felt a swell of pride for the reason behind the gathering.

“Y/N!  You made it!”  Was all the warning you got before you were being lifted in the air by a pair of surprisingly strong arms.

“Of course I did, Tim,” you chuckled.  You returned the hug as he set you back down on your feet before leaning back to look him over.  “You look good.  How are things?”  You felt a slight pang of guilt of not having kept as close of contact with him as you had with Jason, but even the communication with Jason had mostly been you responding instead of initiating.  He had just refused to let you slip away from their world and you had allowed the last link to remain.

Today, you was glad for it.

“Good.  Things are good.  It’s so good to see you.  Damian is going to be thrilled.  Jay wouldn’t say whether or not you would actually make it so I didn’t tell him I saw you had gotten on a flight.”  Giving him an unimpressed look, he at least tried to look guilty for keeping tabs on you electronically.  It wasn’t like you hadn’t figured they all would.

“Speaking of Jason, is he in his room?”

“Yeah, should be fighting with his bowtie right about now,” he chuckled, turning to walk with you up to the next level and down the hall where the bedrooms were located.  “It’s good that you came.  We all understood why you went away, but we’ve definitely missed you.  He’s missed you.”  You know Tim is talking about Dick and not Jason in that moment, but you only give him a smile.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”  His responding smile was almost blinding, and you find yourself strangely emotional at the sight of it.  Reaching forward, you give him another hug before grabbing the door knob of Jason’s room he used when staying at the Manor.

“Don’t you fuckers know when to knock?”  You could hear him call out before you could see him and it made you laugh.

“I thought your door was always open to me?”  You see the moment he freezes in surprise, hands struggling with the bowtie just as Tim said he would be.

“Y/N,” he says your name in a rush as he moves forward to wrap you up in a hug.  “What time did you get in?  Are you staying in a hotel?  Have you seen anyone else yet?”

“Slow down cowboy,” you chuckle, pulling back and immediately get to work on the bowtie.  “I got in a few hours ago and yes, I’m booked close by.  Jefferson and I both are, but he’s over seeing his family.  Alfred greeted me at the door as always and Tim walked me up here.”

“Demon is going to be excited.  I bet Replacement is teasing him about a secret as we speak.”

“I hope not.  He managed to keep it quiet that he knew I was coming, I’m sure he can be nice a little bit longer.”

“Tim knew?”

“He saw I booked a flight.” Jason chuckled.

“Of course he did.” Finishing up the tie, you smoothed your hands down the lapels of his black jacket and smiled up at him.  “You good?”

You hum in response and take a step back, sucking in a deep breath to let out slowly.

“I’m good.”  He watches you for a moment before giving a nod of satisfaction and holding out his arm for you.

“Guess we should go see about finding the man of the hour.”

“I can’t believe he’s a man. He used to be so little.”

“Wait until you see how tall he’s gotten.  Poor Dick and Tim.”  You know he’s watching your response to the use of Dick’s name, but you only laugh in response as the two of you exit his room and head back down to the main ballroom.

A handful of people have gathered, more could be heard in the other room where the main bar was located, and your eyes scanned the room for familiar faces.  You could see a few friends but not the one in particular you’re looking for.

“Jason.”  You glance over your shoulder and find Bruce Wayne standing there with a champagne glass in hand, a surprised look filtering over his features when he sees it’s you who is on Jason’s arm.  “Y/N, what a pleasant surprise.”  It’s warm and the smile he gives you sets something at ease inside of you. The two of you had had plenty of contact over the years since your split with Dick, but this was the first time you had seen him as Bruce Wayne since before the breakup.

“Bruce, it’s good to see you,” you tell him honestly.  He gives you a nod, as much as an acknowledgement of his agreement as you’re going to get.

“Damian will be down shortly, he will be happy to see you.”

“So I keep getting told,” you laugh softly.  The way everyone made it sound you had an incredibly close relationship with the newly 18-year old.  But truth was, you weren’t any closer to him than with Tim or even Cass.  Jason was really the only one of the Wayne family that you had remained particularly close with.

“The family has missed your presence.  It was an…adjustment.”  You’re not sure what to say to that, so you just smile in response.  You knew he understood why you had stayed away. There had been more than one moment of truth between the two of you in those late night visits or calls when you had helped Batman and his crew.

“Master Wayne, the mayor has arrived,” Alfred’s voice interrupted their conversation, drawing Bruce’s attention from you.  You looked up at Jason but found his gaze directed at something past Bruce’s shoulder and it causes you to frown because of his serious expression.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.  I’ll be sure to find you later.  There was something…else I had been wanting to discuss with you,” Bruce’s voice drew back your attention and you gave him a frown, but accepting nod.  

Not just a vacation visit like you had planned it to be, apparently.

“We’ll speak later then.”

You watched him follow Alfred and then it became abundantly clear what had caught Jason’s attention.  Dick stood about thirty feet away, glass in hand and laughing at something someone was saying.  You could see his profile as he stood there in conversation with a man who looked vaguely familiar but you couldn’t be completely certain who it was. Not that it mattered because you only had eyes for Dick.  The man who had crushed you.  The man who you hadn’t seen since the morning after that fateful night.

“Y/N!”

The sound of an excited exclamation of your name pulled your attention from Dick just as it brought Dick’s attention to you.  But before you could react, Damian was in your field of vision and you found yourself floored at the sight of him.  Pictures from Jason only did so much, but the sight of him was a surprise.  You couldn’t believe how tall he had gotten.

“Damian,” you smile brightly, reaching up to wrap your arms around his shoulders.  He easily returns the embrace and you can’t help but smile at the thought of how he used to scoff at physical affection from other people. Even from Dick, and his oldest brother was undoubtedly his favorite person.

“I am so happy you’re here!” He squeezes you a moment before placing his hands on your upper arms and stepping back, gaze sweeping over you before landing back on your face.

“I would never miss a day like today.”  His smile grows even brighter and you can see the happiness basically rippling off him in waves.  “I can’t believe you’re a high school graduate now.  I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you.”  His reply is simple, but you know he is more pleased than he lets on.  “How have you been?  Jason gives us updates at random and never with much detail.  How do you find New York City?”

“It is different and yet very similar to Gotham.”  He nods his agreement and drops one of his hands from your arm, keeping the other there as if he’s worried you’ll vanish before his eyes.  “But I do have some news that not even Jason is aware of yet.” Damian raises his brows and you look over to Jason to find him standing there with a single eyebrow raised, almost annoyed he didn’t already know something.

“Well?”

“I have accepted a position back here in Gotham.  I will return to New York in two days as planned, but I will be back in a week.”

“For good?”  Jason’s words are oddly hopeful.

“For good.”

“You’re returning to Gotham?”  Both Jason and Damian tense and you snap your eyes to the source of the all too familiar voice.  Dick is standing just a few steps away, looking surprised and somewhat contrite for having gotten himself caught eavesdropping.

“I am.”

“Dickhead…” Jason said in an almost growl-like voice and immediately Damian has released the hold on your arm to stand in front of you, effectively blocking your from Dick. Dick holds up the hand that isn’t holding his glass and takes a step back.

“Guys, stop.  Jesus.”  You refrain from facepalming right then and there in embarrassment at their actions. Like Dick would attack her at his little brother’s graduation party.  It was utterly ridiculous.  The two men looked at her in question and you sigh.  

“I just wanted to say hello.”  Glancing back to Dick, you give him a small smile.

“Could you two give us a minute?”  Both Jason and Damian opened their mouths to protest, but the single raised brow from you shut them both up.

“I should mingle anyway. Do not leave without saying goodbye, Y/N.”  You send Damian a wide smile and nod.  Jason simply squeezes your hand before heading toward the bar.  A moment of silence passes before Dick moves a little closer and gestures to the doors leading out to the path that would take you both to the gardens. You follow without a single word and snag a glass of champagne from a passing waiter before you two step outside.

“How are you?”  You break the silence between the two of you, genuinely curious at his current state.  You watch as he considers his answer carefully, hoping he doesn’t give you some fake answer that he prepared for the masses.

“It varies from day to day, I guess,” he answers, and you feel something loosen in your chest at the honest response.  “You?”

“Better in the recent months.  I have…missed home,” you admit.  If he was willing to be honest then you can return the sentiment.  He hummed in response and took a sip of his champagne and let the silence fall between you two again.  It’s not until you’ve entered the paths of flowers that he stops to look at you.

“Kori and I were married last year.”

“I know.”  You’re response pulls a questioning look over his face and you can’t help but chuckle.  “Jason.”

“Of course.  I forgot that you and he have…remained friends?” He says it like a question and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Yes.  Friends.”  

“Sorry, I don’t want to assume anything in regards to you.  Or him.”

“I understand.  But Jason has been a very good friend to me since well before our split.”  He nodded and you watch him closely.  “I didn’t see Kori in there tonight?”

“No, she is…at work.” And she knows he means she’s off on some kind of mission.  “Are you happy, Y/N?”  You look away from him and consider your answer.  You know you could tell him how you cried and almost gave into the homesickness a week after you had left Gotham for New York City.  Or you could tell him about the idiot you dated just months ago who thought he could manipulate you into being his little housewife and not the independent woman you are.  Or you could tell him how hard it had been to be in a city you knew no one in and find your place in that world.

“I am.  I hope you are as well.  I was glad to hear you and Kori finally got married.”  You won’t say that you had drank enough to blackout the night of their wedding, but that had definitely been a thing.

“Were you?”  You look at him and nod, letting him see the honesty in your gaze.  He let out a soft laugh, shaking his head in what looked like amazement.  “You are too good for this world, Y/N.”

“That’s debatable.”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Listen, Dick…”  You look back toward the Manor where you can hear the sounds of the party in full swing before looking back at him and facing him fully.  “I want to be around your family again.  Jason has helped a lot and the meetings with…”  You let him fill in the blanks, knowing he was well aware of Batman’s appearances in your life.  “But I miss what had been part of my life for so long before things went south between us.”

“I don’t want to get in the way of that.  I never wanted that.  My mistakes were not meant to take you from their lives too.  I’m sorry they did.”

“What’s done is done. But I just wanted you to know that I forgave you a long time ago and if you hear that I’m around or see me with one of them, you don’t have to stay away.”  You’re not surprised by the surprise on his face.  But you’re amused as it definitely takes him a few moments to get it together enough to respond.

“We can be…friends then?”

“We can start trying to be.”

“I’d really like that. Kori had mentioned the possibility after that talk you two had had.”

“Yes, well,” you shrug a shoulder and give him a smile.

“Hey you two!  We’re about to do speeches and we all know you, Dickhead, have something sappy planned.”  You both turn to see Jason standing further down the path, not at all hiding the fact that he’s curious about your conversation.

“Thanks, Y/N.  We’ll chat more later?”

“Yeah, later.”  You watch him head back inside, exchanging a look with Jason as he passed him.

“You good?”  Turning your eyes to look at Jason, you don’t bother to stop the wide smile from filtering over your features.

“Better than.  Now come on, I want to see just how embarrassing you all are going to be to that poor boy.”  Jason lets out an amused laugh before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leading you back inside.

#filled request #fiction prompt #fiction requests #ani writes stuff #batman #batman au #batfam #batfam au #dc #dc au #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #jason todd #jason todd x you #jason todd x reader #damian wayne #tim drake #nightwing #red hood #robin #red robin #koriand'r #dickory

[yojeongin]

small written portion under images ★彡

sleepless

masterlist in bio

[pt.7: so sad, so sad]

pairings: ugrapper!yoongi x coworker!reader

genre: sex shop au, sm au, crack humor, fluff, angst, and smut

a/n: listen to so far away when reading this part 😔

You could hear the chatter from the living room. It was Yuta and Namjoon agreeing to leave your apartment just so the well needed intimacy with Yoongi could take place without the worry of having to muffle your cries (and hopefully his).

It hadn’t always been like this. Your parents never really asked much from you before attending university. It wasn’t until you became friends with third year, Mani Choi that their expectation begun to actually form and their want of perfection coming from you to exist.

You couldn’t blame Mani herself, she’d always show discomfort when your parents tried comparing you to her or simply tried to defend you with the repetitive excuse of: “Everyone in their own have different ambitions and I’m glad ours are nowhere near similar.” Of course it would only be swept under the rug as they praised her dreams and plans in life.

It’s rather useless to even try and compare Mani to you. Mani’s dreams consist of helping children in need of education, to travel and give the aide they deserved— and as much as you adored her dedication and kindness, you just couldn’t bear being compared to that. It was too perfect, she was too perfect whilst you— well, there’s nothing to say.

You didn’t have any dreams and it isn’t worth trying to remember the ones you used to have as they’ve been long dead and thrown into a pile of oblivion. As hard as you tried, nothing in life was worth it. Everything you did was for the purpose of surviving and living the monotone life you’ve carried for ever since you can remember.

Perhaps that’s why you cling to Yoongi. Seeing him always come in tired and hungry, prominent bags under his eyes, and most of all— works hard to create what he loves: music.

Being with him wasn’t anything regular. There was always the thrill of the unexpected. Despite your relationship within the confines of work and the public eye— Yoongi and you were closer than believed so.

When you can’t sleep, he’s on the other line lulling you to sleep. If he needs inspiration or help with lyrics, he’s at your apartment with whatever street food he can find at such hours. When it’s clear that he isn’t taking care of himself or his body, you’d always make sure to be where he’s at no matter what time or location.

You were there for him and he was there for you.

The mere thought of having him being distant due to the ‘what if’ of Mani only caused a heavy weight to collapse against your chest. The lump in your throat not daring to leave as you held back whatever tears you had.

“Bimbo, open the door. Please…” his voice was soft and tired, raspy at that. It was obvious he hadn’t slept much. “Give me a second.” You’d speak as loud as you could (a mere whisper.)

Standing up from the cold tile floor, hitting your elbow on accident against the counter. Not daring to look at the mirror, you unlocked the door opening a bit just to his tired pale face.

He didn’t smile at you nor did you. The comfort of knowing it was just the two of you was fine within the silence of the apartment. All the lights excluding the bedroom lights and restroom where off. Yoongi sighed looking at you moments away from releasing all you had. “Come on.” His voice was groggy and his arm stretched to hold your shoulder.

His touch was soft as always. Comforting. That’s how it felt when you were with Yoongi. Peace and comfort was the only thing that filled your tired persona. In all honesty being with Yoongi felt like the greatest thing one could experience. The definition of happiness in which you wished to live your whole life.

It’s more than just that, but the rest can’t be explained. It has to only be experienced.

“Your shorts are in the last drawer.” Yoongi had sat you down on the bed as the two of you went inside. Looking to where you pointed at, he only nodded walking towards the drawers. His face demonstrated surprise, yet his lips formed into a playful smirk seeing how neatly his clothes were stored in the drawer. “Stop stealing my stuff.” He’d playfully hint, a smile growing at your lips as your head hung low, hair covering your embarrassment.

“Stop attacking me. It’s not my fault you always leave them behind everywhere.” Yoongi never seemed to remember his items if they didn’t hold a important value to him. In other words he’d never leave his journal behind.

From all the times he stayed at your apartment— many of his sweaters, caps, and even shirts were left behind making Yuta tease you despite knowing nothing happened.

Yoongi loved seeing the way he made you become flustered, his heart couldn’t take it when you’d become shy from just a simply touch from him. Regardless of his obvious demonstrations of affection and interest, he felt like there was nothing he could offer you. Yoongi was fixated on the idea that his ambitions wouldn’t allow him to treat you the way you were meant to. Along that he saw himself as less compared to what you already had. It was a cold case of lady and the tramp. Whatever he could offer, you’d already have.

But most importantly you both were stubborn to admit true feelings. Something Yuta, Eunwoo, Hoseok, and Namjoon took as an advantage for teasing and indirectly push either of you to talk about it.

“Close your eyes. I’ll sleep in the restroom if you peak.” Joking was the coping mechanism you both had, anger was never something either of you liked expressing and if you did, it was only through facial expression that made others stay back, but till this day you still had to see either angry.

“Just one peak, Yoongi.” You’d tease, hands covering your eyes and back facing him. “No.” Giggling you nodded, laying on your side with both hands still on your eyes.

It was awfully silent and the ruffling of his jeans seemed to be accompanying the AC. Staying in that position you could only remember the words your mother threw at you. The pain rushing back and anger of comparison getting to you once again.

Getting lost in those thoughts you didn’t realize he was done and the feeling of arms wrap around you with the bed sinking caused for your hands to become damp with the tears you harshly contained due to how hard your palms pressed at your eyes. “Was it your mom again?” He’d whisper against your ear, his warm breath caressing your ear lobe and his voice only making you come closer to him.

Your face was pressed against his chest, the musk of sweat and cologne intoxicating your senses. He went back to the Shed, that’s why he was down. It could only mean LGP was behind his own despondence. Nonetheless you felt comfort with being this close to him. It was new, other times he’d only hold you when the conversation was done and at that, it was a simple hug, maybe sometimes you’d wake up in each other’s arms but it was only expected when loneliness got the best of you both.

“What did she say?” His volume was normal now, your breathing trying to stay calm as you recollected all that she said, but the mere memory made you tongue tied leaving the silence to speak for you. “She’s just so… so demanding!” The crack at your voice made him pull you closer to him, his grip tightening for comfort and protection. “It’s always the same thing. To be like those she wants me to be. To follow their example and be them, but I don’t want to be them… at this point I hate them.” Your voice faltered as the sentence progressed and a sob left your lips as your hands held his shirt.

The hand that wasn’t holding you, stroked your hair, cooing for relaxation. “Earlier this week she sent me a list of companies I have to work at. Choose one and settle down once in for all. Quit the shop and force myself into the corporate world—“ your hand had left his shirt alone, moving under his arm to hold him as well. It took Yoongi by surprise, but the comfort of being held by you was enough to make him forget his own problems.

“I was supposed to meet with them today and go over my top three but I didn’t even spare a glance at the list. That’s why she called, wondering why I hadn’t visited them; she has this stupid rule of not letting anyone she doesn’t know into the apartment so when she heard you guys she went hysterical. I tried convincing her it was only Yuta— at some point I couldn’t handle her nagging and made her even more angry when I said I was tired of the treatment… I think at this point she’s disowned me.” Yoongi’s chest ached horribly thinking he was the cause of your pain.

A lump formed in the back of his throat and tears threatened to fall. From the times he’d comfort you, he had never seen you cry. You handled your emotions perfectly well so seeing you so tired in front of him only caused for him to give in. “I’m so sorry… I really a—“ “It’s not your fault.” At this point your body pressed against his, your arm draped around his torso as you held him like he held you. A comforting intimate hug.

“You’d think this is bad but I could just imagine the horror if she found out of all the things she’s caused within me. Doubtful that she’d care for my state of mind and only call me ungrateful like many other times… sometimes I envy y/sister/n. She never had to go through this, but thinking about it, she voluntarily obtained the life they deem perfect.” His hand against your hair, holding you as tight as he could. Letting you go was not an option and you were thankful you had him in your life.

Sighing, Yoongi thought of your words. It wasn’t as different from what he had to go with his father. After his mother left, his father tried forcing him into the clean cut perfect life, one that didn’t include music or the pains of it.

His brother followed the same path as your sister, yet the difference was that Yoongi’s father was neither disappointed or pleased with his brother’s decision. The only importance was that he was living a comfortable and decent life unlike Yoongi.

The last news Mr. Min had heard about Yoongi was the drunken voicemail in which he just told him to fuck off and prove him that he’d accomplish his dreams.

Dreams. That seems to be the reoccurring topic.

“What happened at the shed?” Getting him out of his thoughts, Yoongi shook his head, eyes shutting. “Same old as well. That bastard buying off the crowd and making me look like fool every time I go up against him— I don’t understand his fixation on making my life hell. Maybe if he worked for what he wants then he would understand why I didn’t sell my work to him.” Your head slightly tilted upwards, admiring the features you could see.

A smile formed seeing his face but the thought of how painful it must feel to be discredited for your hard work, only caused a frown on your lips. “The way I spill my emotions into these songs can’t just be given away when you’re presented with stacks of money, y/n. Those songs are my struggles, my pain, my state of mind, my fatigue, and eventually the end of me… I haven’t dragged these weights of pain for years just to give them away.” Your arm left his torso, hand caressing his cheek as he spoke, making him melt against your touch.

“The pain of the rich always seem to amuse me. It’s valid but at some points but at others— it’s evident they’ve never heard no. Despite my lack of struggles I’d understand that something that big is not to be given away at all.” Yoongi smiled as he heard you, his thumb caressing your clothed waist. “Your pains revolve around the unknown, y/n. You don’t know what you want in life and you see it bleak, but you also don’t want the cookie cutter lifestyle that can easily be handed to you… and I appreciate that because many would easily take it— but you want the feeling of being alive and thriving on your own terms, and I love that about you.” You felt your breath hitch at his words, your hand only holding his face rather than caressing his cheek anymore.

“And your pains revolve around achieving your dreams. You, out of a few have dreams and you’re going through hell just to achieve it, even if this idiot is testing your patience but he’s not worth your time or a second thought to doubt what you’ve been working on all these years. May your trails end in full bloom.” His eyes had widened the moment you spoke but as you gradually finished, they softened, lips forming a smile as he held you even closer. “Maybe one day I’ll show you something I’m working on.”

“Really?!” You perked up at the sound of that, you couldn’t really look at him due to the way he held you, but the feeling of his lips pressing against your forehead caused for you tense against him in surprise and bliss. Within you— you hoped this meant more than what your heart could take.

“May your trials end in full bloom…”

taglist: @bts-reveries @sugapaste @im-emo-motherfuckers @hobisbeech @snowythellama @the-jackals @hobiheavenly @unbearable-fangirl @live-2-fangirl @labgeek @jiminieschilliepeper @maaayleee @gummygguks @parkjiminstan16 @fekitza @bidisaster1307 @http-softhoney @y-eehaw @officiallyjyptrash @uwukinawa @castellamas @mayumioutloud

#yoongi sm au #min yoongi #bts sm au #bts smut #bts imagines #bts #namjoon #hobi #suga #hoseok #bts social media au #bts au #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi social media au #yoongi smut #eunwoo #yuta #cha eunwoo #nakamoto yuta #kim namjoon #jung hoseok #nct 127 #astro

[daemongal]

A B C, easy as one two V! (Part 5)

So these ended up longer than expected, just over half way through and I'm already falling into old habits! In this update we'll cover LMN. Be prepared, theres angst and NSFW ahead... I apologise in advance for any feels!

_______

L = Location

“V, are you sure you want to do this?” Concern was prevalent in your voice as you walked up the hill, squeezing V's hand in your own to comfort him.

“Yes.” He replied thoughtfully. “This is something I must do, for us both.” His hand squeezed yours in return as you smiled softly, eyes returning to the trail ahead.

He had told you much about his childhood and about his family, specifically his mother. You loved listening to him reminiscing, mostly because how happy you knew it made him. His expressions during these moments always warmed your heart; his soft smiles, his genuine laughter, his excitement when a memory that was previously forgotten made itself known again in his mind. You wished more than anything that you could have met her, the woman who brought such pure emotions out of the man who had to dig so deep to accept his own happiness.

He had decided he wanted to take you there to show you his family home, or what was left of it. To say you were honoured by his request would be too light of an expression. You wanted nothing more than to see the place where all these wonderful memories occurred. Although your love for V was strong, your heart was also filled with admiration of his strength. He had told you of the terrible things that transpired here that night, but he would never dwell on those moments, only on the ones that brought him joy. His strength allowed you to keep living and yet it was the one thing you could never convince him of.

You stopped in your tracks as the building came into view upon the hill. Even in its dishevelled state, you could still appreciate how impressive it was. Your caught sight of V delicately touching an outdoor toy that was still somewhat intact, the kind with a large spring that you would normally find in playgrounds that you rock back and forth on. He inhaled a breath as if he was about to speak before shaking his head slightly and continuing up the hill. He held his hand out as you took it in your own, walking up the track to approach the building.

As you stepped through the front doors, it was as if your mind filled in all the blanks. The vivid descriptions of him running through the halls and up the stairs filled your mind as you could almost see the scenes playing out in front of your eyes. V motioned towards the large family portrait on the wall as you observed the family. Your eyes set on Eva, her features more beautiful than you could have ever pictured. Even from a still image you could sense the kindness that she radiated, the warmth that spread from her to her surroundings.

“Hello mother.” V began to speak, taking you by surprise. “I have brought someone with me today, someone I thought you ought to meet.” He looked down at you, a softness in his eyes as you held his hand tightly.

“They have heard every tale I have to tell, yet they still hang on my every word. They have made me feel and experience things that I never thought possible. They have made me so happy, happier than I have ever deserved to feel. I know that... you would have loved them as if they were your own.” V took a steady breath, his words becoming quieter. You gently cupped your other hand over his, holding it between the two in support

“I brought them with me today as I wanted you to meet the one I love, the one I have wholly devoted my heart to.” You inhaled a deep breath at his words, your throat tensing as your eyes threatened to start filling. “I will do right by them, I promise you that. You taught me much about love and happiness, but it appears I still had much to learn. Much that I could only learn from one such as them. Someone willing to accept me in my entirety.” His reached his hand up, brushing his fingers against the painting.

“Thank you, as always, for all that you have done for me. I will return to see you again soon...perhaps.” He trailed his fingers back down the portrait to return his hand to his side as he released a long sigh, his shoulders relaxing and if suddenly unburdened. He turned to you and smiled as he began to walk away. You turned to the portrait a final time and bowed your head in respect.

“Thank you.” You spoke quietly. “For bringing your son into the world and allowing me this happiness.”

M = Motivation 

Tonight, you were feeling particularly brave and daring. You decided to try something different as you pinned V to the bed with your hips against his. You tied his hands loosely to the bed post with the tie from your discarded nightgown. It wasn’t intended to be threatening, just a way of establishing a bit of control.

“I think,” you started, running your fingers down his chest, “that I’m gonna tease you tonight, my precious poet.” You dragged your breasts up the length of his body to bring your face to his before leaning into a passionate kiss. Your lips moved in time with his, tongues tangling in his mouth as you ran your fingers up the underside of his arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind each touch. You broke from the kiss before running your tongue across his bottom lip and leaning back up to straddle him.

You had to admit, he looked amazing below you like this. Cheeks pink from your previous actions a, lips wet and swollen body exposed and open to you. As expected, he didn’t shy away from your glances, only met your eyes with equal intensity.

“Hmm, I hope you won’t be too mean to me, my love. I have been on my best behaviour after all.” You both loved and hated just how composed he was, how he could still make your stomach flip with only a few words although being at your mercy. His body, however was incapable of bluffing. His hard cock rested against his stomach, twitching occasionally as fingers crept across his chest, grazing his nipples.

You leaned down against him once more, trapping his length in between your bodies as you trailed kisses from his collarbone down to his stomach before running your flat tonglefup the length of his cock and placing a kiss on the tip. His back arched into the touch, as a gasp left his mouth.

“Oh I know you have my pet, and that’s precisely the reason why I’m going to tease you until you beg.” He groaned at your words as you squeezed him tightly in your hand. Oh you were going to have fun tonight.

N = NO 

V looked down at you, your body outstretched below his, completely at his mercy. He loved how you reacted, writhing and moaning as his hips crashed against yours, his pace hard and merciless. You had asked for it rough tonight, and he was never one to deny you your desires. His fingers dug into your thighs bruisingly as he held them up either sides of his hips, giving him a deeper angle.

“Ahh, shit V!” Your hand reached for his, pulling it from your thigh up your body. V gasped as you positioned his hand around your throat, feeling your pulse racing against his fingers. Your mouth hung open in bliss as you motioned for him to grip, his hips slowing as he took in the sight of hand wrapped lightly around your neck as something churned in his stomach.

“Please, choke me.” The want and desperation in your eyes triggered an uncontrolled growl to escape from his throat as he tightened his grip on you. He sped up his pace as he leaned more of his weight against you. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the action, your breaths becoming gasps as his hand began to cut off your air.

V’s breathing became heavy at the sight, his stomach doing flips as he pounded harder into you, revelling in the desperation of your strained gasps. A grin began to spread across his face, one that did not feel like his own. His breath hitched in his throat as images began to flash in his mind; images of his hand around the throats of unknown people, images of them clawing at his hands in desperation. His breaths quickened as the panic began to set in. These were not his memories, these were not things that he had experienced, these were not things that he had done. His mind raced at a hundred miles an hour as the clawing became real, the sensations against his hands feeling less like a memory.

Shock shot through his chest, sharp as a knife at the realisation as he grounded himself back in the moment.

“V... please.” Your voice rasped. He removed his hand reflexively from your neck as his eyes focussed back in on your face. Your eyes were wide and wet, your cheeks red and your chest was rising and falling at an alarming pace.

“I...” V’s mind couldn’t keep up with the situation. Tears began to well at his eyes as a sickness began to set into his stomach. “I... I’m sorry, my love I'm so sorry.” Arms wrapped around his shoulders suddenly, before his body was able to react. You held V tightly, running your fingers through his hair gently.

“Shhh, it’s ok, it’s ok. I’m the one who’s sorry V. I should have known better.”

He began to relax into your hold as his arms lifted from his sides, his hands cupping your cheeks to direct your gaze up to his. His thumbs brushed under your eyes to wipe away any memory of tears. Your meek smile made his heart jump in his chest as he leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead before resting his chin against the same spot.

“Please know, I will never hurt you. It was never my intention. Please forgive me my love, sometimes my mind is not my own.” His throat burned more with every word as he fought against the tears that prickled the corners of his eyes. Your chests had both returned to a steadier pace as you held each other for a few moments.

“Right here, right now; you are my poet. You are V and you are the most gentle soul in all of Redgrave, and I know you would never hurt me.” Your voice was gentle and your breath tickled against his neck with each word. “I won’t ever ask anything like that of you ever again, I promise.” V sighed, as he allowed a small number of tears to fall into your hair as he pulled you closer.

_____

As always, this series will be tagged as "ABC V" on my blog and you can view the whole series on my AO3

#abc v #dmc #dmc 5 #devil may cry #angst #ns/fw #lemon #i warned you #and im sorry #i dont know what happened to the fluff i was supposed to be writing ;_; #v #v x reader #ficlet #my work

[satannedtrash]

a new year’s resolution | qian kun

summary: where you go out with friends to welcome in the new year, but you never expected to welcome something - or rather, someone - else.

pairing: qian kun x reader

word count: 3.3k/3365 words

genre: fluff. just fluff. pure fluff

format: dot points (still not experienced enough yet :|)

warnings: none unless mild to moderate swearing and total drunks aren’t your thing (also not edited oh dear) (and ooc kun cuz i suck at this ok)

author’s note: tHIS WAS MEANT TO BE FINISHED LAST WEEK BUT STUFF CAME UP SO IT’S HELLA LATE AAA but anyway at first i wasn’t entirely sure what member to write about, but then i remembered how sm didn’t even release a happy birthday post to kun (jan 1). so i thought that i can dedicate this to kun. happy (extremely belated) birthday to the butter-for-our-ears vocalist, angel and mum, kun! (also y/f/n means your friend’s name)

EDIT: just realised there was a whole section missing (i realised after a month because i didn’t want to read back on this - thing - until now) and without it the oneshot didn’t flow, so i added it in. hope it all clears things up!

11:19 pm

before this story starts imma explain sum stuff

first of all: bless kun

second of all: appreciate kun

third of all: say happy birthday to kun

oh and this is an au where the nct members aren’t idols so don’t expect to see saesangs or fans with their cameras out taking a photo of every move they make being mentioned in here

aaand i’m rambling so with that out of the way lez go

laughing at a friend’s joke, you lifted your right hand which held your phone, causing the screen to turn on

“gEEz okay then”

the bright, white light emitted from it shocked your eyes, making you blink furiously

when you could finally see without being partially blinded, you quickly checked the time and placed your phone face-down next to you

“what’s the time?” y/f/n asked, chin on your shoulder

not bothered to check again, you just say “11:19” and then leaned your head on theirs

“can you believe that 2018 is ending?”

“yep. this year sucked for me so i’m down for it to end”

“always looking forward, huh?”

you shifted your gaze from the city skyline to your friend. “have to. can’t afford to stick to the past”

pouting, y/f/n was about to respond when you lifted your head and stopped leaning back on your arms to sit upright

“besides, we gotta enjoy tonight, instead of moping around.” here, you noticed your friend eyeing the beers nearby you and sighed heavily. guess i need to be chaperone for the night

well considering that the rest of your friends and their friends were wasted might as well make sure they don’t mess the docks up

as you handed the bottle to your friend, their expression brightened as they snatched it from you

well damn aren’t they excited to get drunk

wait it’s not even 11:30 yet and we’re still going to a bar nearby after the fireworks wat

“er, shouldn’t you wait till after midnight to drink?”

“nah m8 tis the best time to have some”

(i have just realised that the vibe of this went from serious storytelling to a memey laidback sorta thing damn it)

(oh well i’ll roll with it)

not knowing what to do now that there wasn’t much to talk about, you brought out your earphones and decided to listen to some music to pass the time

calming music, such as a song with nine glorious men singing and some bed squeaking in the background

(i’ll let you guess what song i’m talking about)

you let your head bop to the song as you looked out to the sea port twenty metres in front of you, watching the dark waters ripple

11:48 pm

the next time you turned on your phone to see how many minutes left you had become a third wheeler

quite the strong third wheeler might i add

a few moments after the first song you were listening to finished, your good friend yuta had joined you and y/f/n because his other friends were “too rowdy”

but as soon as he saw the bottles he said “gimme”

so you were sitting there (barbecue sauce on my-) with two just barely sober adults acting like complete children

you had to wrestle out of y/f/n’s koala hug around your waist and escape yuta’s chin noogie to grab your phone

“oh for fuck’s sake” father why have you foresaken me

when you finished preparing yourself for another possible 27 minutes of torture, you turned around to see yuta and y/f/n throwing themselves at each other, singing like magpies

“wE wIsh yOU A mErrY chrIstmAsssss aNd a hAppY nEw yeeeEeAArr!!1!” they then took the opportunity to laugh, squeal and kiss the hecc out of each other’s cheeks

you knew that your friend was absolute shit at singing, but yuta was a whole different story good lord

you thought he was good???

maybe just when he hasn’t had a few drinks

you stared at the two dolphins then promptly stood up and sat down behind them because you had to make sure they didn’t do anything more than whatever the hell this was

not like it could get any worse

you could feel the gazes of pity the others were sending you, but frankly you didn’t care

before, you couldn’t wait for the new year to come, but now you were more eager than ever

someone please save my poor soul

11:59 pm

“yEEEE BOI a minute left!”

eleven minutes have passed and the final 60 seconds of the year were being counted down

you were less excited for the new year and more excited for the end of your chaperoning being closer

all you had to do was get through the firework display, watch the adorable couple in front of you until the bar and let them do what they want (there were sure to be other friends who were willing to let them join in)

it seemed like a simple, solid plan! :D

before you knew it, yuta and y/f/n had already started counting down from 15, so might as well start now

“13, 12, 11, 10...”

you took a glance at y/f/n, who grinned back at you and threw their arm around your shoulder

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3...” here we go

“1 - happy new year!!”

it was at this moment you realised that your eardrums were incapable of tolerating the two dolphins beside you

sINCE WHEN WAS YUTA ABLE TO SCREAM THAT LOUD AND HIGH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

yay to starting the new year with loud friends screaming like there’s no tomorrow amiright

you had trouble focusing on the fireworks to the point you could only hear most of the big ones

that’s how hard it was to be next to them but oh well

marvelling at the city skyline, the fireworks seeming like entirely new stars, you began having very deep thoughts

the typical ones, such as “ what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like by the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?”

you had asked the exact same things when 2017 shifted to 2018 and found that you actually had an answer for all of them

2018 brought some crappy stuff but also some good stuff to balance that out

you were still sort of the same, because every time something major came up you only changed a bit then went back to normal

and you weren’t with anyone yet, which you had expected

but a little birdy on your shoulder said, “then get with someone in 2019! make it a new year’s resolution!”

your eyebrows furrowed at the thought, but you decided to focus on the sky for now

because since when did you ever make or follow new year’s resolutions?

12:16 am

“12:16 okay then”

turns out you didn’t consider the walk to the bar part of your chaperoning

by the time the display ended, yuta and y/f/n could walk, but not without wobbling and intense laughter

so guess who had to make sure they could at least make the trip to the bar?

“um, are you sure you don’t want to go home yet?” 

“nah, i caan’t, my sister was meaant to be at home-!”- y/f/n stumbled a bit but you caught them before they fell - “-but she’s not, and i can’t beeee home by myselfff”

no wonder

here, you were struggling to keep the both of them propped up as you walked along the road, so there was bound to be a slip up

“you should’ve seen their face! haHA-!” yuta laughed a little too hard and nearly fell over his own feet, prompting you to panic and scramble to keep him from falling to the ground

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-!”

but you didn’t need to because someone else already beat you to it!

sighing in relief, you looked up to see none other than the great qian kun putting yuta’s arm around his shoulder

he looked over to you gaping at him and smiled that warm smile that looked like it was sculpted by the gods

wow he looks great in this lighting

you were always attracted to kun, ever since you two began talking after stopping a full blown war between doyoung and ten

he appeared so soft and kind to you and you two seemed to have a lot in common

so naturally you hit it off

because who doesn’t love kun? :D

“you’re welcome?” oh shit i didn’t just stare at him for that long did i

“oh - sorry - thanks for that” nice going there y/n you idiot

kun just chuckled and hefted his drunk friend as he started walking, you doing the same

it became comfortably silent as your group made their way down the street and turned left into a reasonably sized bar, which as surprisingly not that busy

you set y/f/n down on a chair that thankfully had a tall enough back to keep them up and sat down next to them, exhaling

kun patted yuta’s back and went to sit down next to you

laying your head on the counter, you thought of striking up a conversation with kun

so, instead of saying things like “happy new year”, “thanks for helping me” or even “they’re hard to deal with anyway”, you just said “woah.”

yEAH AGAIN NICE GOING THERE Y/N

“‘woah’? what’s ‘woah’?” he responded, taking on a teasing, motherly tone

you could hear the grin in his voice

you panicked and stammered some illegible words before you could actually speak

“i meant like, woah, that was exhausting, they made things real hard and all that…”

then you thought of something brilliant

you took out your phone and googled “woah”, only to find that it wasn’t spelled w-o-a-h but instead meant to be w-h-o-a

you frowned but typed “whoa meaning” instead and showed the definition to kun

all the while still laying on the mahogany-coloured counter

to your surprise, he rolled his eyes, laughed and ruffled your hair

“that was a really bad joke but you’re lucky i have the same sense of humor” his laugh was infectious so you had to smile

then he asked, “are you okay? not too tired?”

sitting up, you put your phone back in your pocket

“nah, my arms just ache, but it’s fine.” your polite smile suddenly grew into a wide smirk. “thanks for worrying, mum”

“i’m not a mum!” his expression made you have the sudden urge to burst into endless chuckles

in the corner of your eye, you could see ten, doyoung and johnny elbowing each other, pointing at you and kun and singing “kiss the girl”

you then had the sudden urge to throw some hands

kun (obviously) overheard them and sighed

“why are they like this”

“i wish i knew”

you and kun talked some more, random topics like how uni was going for you, how his singing was, how your book was going, all that jazz

with some playful banter and the occasional jokes that made you laugh so hard your back hurt

“kun loving puns and dad jokes? a coincidence?”

“i only laugh at them to make you feel better!”

“gasp! how dare you!”

“only joking, y/n!”

while you two giggled, y/f/n suddenly turned to you and said, “i think yuta and i will be fine here…”

you stopped and looked back at them, concerned

“you sure?”

“we’ll just go sit with the boys over there-!” a hiccup. “-it’ll be fine!” then, it hit you

is this bitch trying to play matchmaker 

you grumbled “i’m not sure…” but then kun spoke up

“yeah, sure, that’s fine,” when you gave him a quizzical look, he added on, “as much as i don’t trust johnny, doyoung and ten, at least it’s not just the two of them?”

he phrased it as a question instead of a statement, his voice getting higher by each word spoken

you pondered over this

well, he’s not wrong

you exhaled in defeat, saying “fine, go ahead”

y/f/n grinned at you and gave a knowing wink before dragging yuta over to the three boys

two of whom were busy flirting to each other and the other one third wheeling

you raised your eyebrows up and down at them before turning back to kun, who was looking outside

“so,” you started, causing him to look at you, “are you sure you want yuta and y/f/n wreaking havoc with those three?” you nodded in the group’s direction

kun stayed silent for a bit, then said “yeah, i’m sure. it kinda looked like you needed a break from them.”

“true. there’s only so much you can take.” kun chuckled at that and looked outside again

it went silent, but in stark contrast to the vibe of the walk leading to the bar, it was very awkward

too awkward to handle

so you took the opportunity to debate with yourself whether or not you should study kun

damn what if he looks at me though i’m not really risking that

but how can you not look at him? and what’s there to talk about?

it’s not worth the embarrassment

look-

no

at-

no

him 

you were about to take a quick glance, but then kun spoke

“besides, i want to show you something”

once again, another puzzled look

“if you don’t mind, of course”

without another thought, you said “sure.”

“really? you’re okay with it?” you smiled at kun’s eagerness

“yeah, might as well, now that we don’t have anyone to watch over.” kun grinned and stood up, making sure to push in his chair (we love a polite king)

you two were about to walk out the door when you looked at a certain group three tables away from you

johnny and ten were still flirting and yuta and y/f/n were still laughing

but this time, doyoung wasn’t a third wheeler anymore, because a man who looked younger than him was having a somewhat civilised conversation with doyoung

you elbowed kun and made him look at them and made sure doyoung, johnny and ten saw you before both mouthing, “sha la la la la la my, oh, my~”

you took a mental screenshot of their faces before you and kun cackled your way out of the bar

12:47 am

“what are you planning on showing me?”

the two of you had been walking and talking for a while now, but kun still didn’t say what he was going to show you

you were waiting patiently, expecting him to eventually tell you, but you gave in

“it’s a surprise~” he said in a sing-song voice, which slightly irritated you

“i know that it’s at the docks, because that’s where we’re heading,” you gave him a light nudge with your arm. “so might as well tell me now!”

he stubbornly shook his head. “i refuse to tell you until you see it.”

pouting, you crossed your arms and muttered under your breath, “you’re lucky you’re adorable.”

to your relief, he didn’t hear you, because he laughed at your pout and pressed on

you lightly scoffed and picked up your pace so that you could walk alongside him

“can i at least have one clue?” you begged

“uh uh.”

“pleeeaaassee?” he looked at your hopeful smile and rolled his eyes

“fine,” you yelled “yes!” a little too loud, making people stare at you. “your clue is…

“...it’s big and sparkly.” you gave him a look showing that you weren’t impressed

“wow, kun, what a descriptive and totally-not-vague clue! i am sure to get it now!”

kun grumbled, “you sound like doyoung,” before remembering something

“don’t tell me the answer until we get there!” he quickly said, receiving yet another puzzled look. “so that i can give you the benefit of the doubt to make it all the more exciting! it’ll be fun!”

you in turn muttered, “well, you sound like y/f/n, and fine. i don’t wanna ruin the surprise. you look real enthusiastic about it too” he smiled gratefully before leaving you to do your thinking

thinking about that smile :)))))

damn his smile always gets me grrrrr

you pulled your mind away from kun’s personality and tried to think of a place with the clue “big and sparkly”

two came to your mind, the big ferris wheel and the big floating silver christmas tree out on the water

they’re both big and sparkly, but you couldn’t predict which one he was going to take you to

you were hoping the ferris wheel, but you just had to wait and see

“think of any places yet?” you jolted so hard, you threw your phone up accidentally

don’t worry, you caught it

kun looked at you, his eyebrows showing worry but his eyes glinting. “you okay?”

very nice going there y/n, how many more times will you mess up??

and my face feels like it’s on fire oh good lord 

“i’m fine, just got scared,” you had to take a breather before you put your phone in your pocket - where it should’ve been in the first place, but your dumb ass decided to hold it - and gave kun a thumbs up

he gave a thumbs up back and said, “surprised you didn’t scream.”

biting back a retort, you replied. “rude.” you sunk your hands deeper into your pockets. “and as for your question, yes, i did think of a place or two”

“good, because we’re getting close now”

you turned a corner and saw both the floating tree and the ferris wheel come into view

the ferris wheel carriages were lighting up one after the other, making it look like a loading symbol (great comparison there) from afar

a pretty and romantic loading symbol

while the christmas tree was dazzling, the rainbow lights getting brighter and dimmer like a pulsing star

while you two waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, kun said to you, “when we make it to the other side, make sure to close your eyes and keep them closed until i say so”

“let me guess, to ‘make it all the more exciting’?” he grinned and nodded

“yup”

you did as what he had told, closing your eyes and relying on kun to guide you the right way

“i swear to god if you push me off the pier i will drag you down with me”

“now you sound like ten, but don’t worry, i won’t,” he gently pushed you away from an upcoming obstacle. “thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“no problem, mum” you grinned victoriously when you heard a heavy sigh

you knew you were close to the water when you smelled less alcohol and more salty sea water

“are we there yet?” you asked impatiently. you couldn’t be bothered to be patient anymore

kun said, “waaait,” and guided you a bit to the left. “there! now you can open your eyes.”

“finally, i was wondering when- holy shit.”

it wasn’t the ferris wheel that you were hoping that he’d show you, but it was something you decided was way more worth it

the floating silver christmas tree towered over you both, and it looked like it was the brightest and most colourful thing for kilometres (or miles, you choose)

coloured lines streamed down from the top to the bottom, like a very pink, purple and blue waterfall, while stage lights at the bottom smoothly changed from red to orange to yellow and more

it also reminded you of the windows screen when you used it for the first time (if that even makes sense?)

white light shone from beneath the many large stars decorating the tree, making them pop, and the wind revealed that the tree wasn’t made of smooth silver metal, but silver sequins that showed the water ripples and waves from below

the star at the top was the most intensely bright of them all, with a rainbow outline and a gold center

needless to say, it was pretty darn beautiful for a sight that would otherwise hurt your eyes

you stood there with your mouth wide open, looking like a pathetic fish, and almost missed what kun was saying

“i wasn’t sure if you would like the ferris wheel or the tree, but then i found out that the ferris wheel would be closed today, so i just chose this,” you felt his gaze shift onto you, and you tried not to get flustered. “do you like it?”

you took a moment before you spoke. “yes, i really like it a lot,” the view was that breathtaking it took away your ability to talk like a proper adult. you turned to him and gave a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as you could. “thanks for bringing me here, kun.”

he gave you an equally big grin and said, “you’re welcome. glad you like it too.” he turned back to look at the tree, and you did the same

but not without sneaking a glance at him in all his ethereal beauty

kun never failed to surprise you, whether it be showing you a very rainbow tree, being so kind and trusting or just being himself

your mind floated back to the three questions you had asked yourself earlier, “what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like at the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?” and the new year’s resolution you made

you took another look at kun then whispered under your breath, “huh.

“guess i am on the way to completing one.”

#nct #nct dream #nct u #nct 127 #wayv #nct kun #nct qian kun #nct 2018 #nct 2019 #nct ot21 #nct ot18 #nct au #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #reader #kun x reader #non idol au #fanfic #kpop

[thirstygirlclub]

Duchess - 3

Thanks to @khyharah for quenching my Chibs thirst that was distracting me from writing this chapter! You’re a doll! <3

Chapter 3- Uncle Jerry

Charming was… small. It was really quiet and boring too. There is literally nothing there and nothing to do. Daddy and Mom were out all the time doing whatever for Daddy’s business and Jack was always either out trying to find that gang or at school so I was left alone all day. I got really bored of lounging around the house after about three weeks. It was a lot smaller than my old house but Daddy let me have the biggest room with a joined bathroom. There was a cute balcony that faced out to the backyard so that was good but I got fed up of just looking out to the garden. I shut my laptop with a sigh and lay back on my bed. Life was so hard.

As I looked up to the top of my canopy bed I sighed again, cuddling Romeo on my chest. Bored, bored, and bored. I guessed I could take Romeo for a walk again but he’s only got little legs. It was only 2:00pm and we had been out twice already today so he was tired. Back home in LA, I would be shopping with my friends or out to lunch, maybe partying later on but I never drank alcohol. I looked at my phone for the third time in half an hour, nothing. None of my friends had even texted me since the end of my first week.

“Miss Cat?” Greta called from downstairs, “are you still home?”

“Yeah Nanny!”

I heard her footsteps coming up to my room. She knocked then came in, looking at me with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised up; making her forehead wrinkle more. She was a really cute old lady and I loved her a lot. She closed the door behind her, moved the curtains away from the side of the bed and sat down. I looked up at her as she ran her hands through my hair, working out some tangles and spreading it out across the duvet. She has always done this since I was a child.

“Oh Miss Cat,” she cooed, stroking my cheek with the back of her hand, “you are so grown up now. When did that happen?”

“Greta?” I asked with a small frown, she looked almost sad, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing Sweetheart, just reminiscing. That means to think back to past events,” she explained when I looked confused.

“Oh. Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yes of course! Do you want to come to the store with me? I need some things to make your dinner.”

“Yeah ok. You wanna drive?”

She shook her head and told me to put some comfy shoes on because she wanted to walk. More walking, great. But I could never say no to Greta; she has been a really big person in my life since I was a child and the only person not to shout at me when I was failing in school. I always knew I was dumb, Jack and Daddy told me enough times, but Greta always made me feel a bit better about it. She taught me how to play the piano and sing, we would sit for hours just playing around on it.

“Your talents lie outside the classroom; you shouldn’t feel bad about your grades,” she would say to me, “you are a beautiful dancer and a beautiful singer and I have never heard anyone play the piano as well as you.”

I knew she was lying to make me feel better but it worked.

I had my arm linked through hers as we walked down the streets. She was pointing out all the dogs she could see and tried to tell me to talk to some good looking guys. I laughed but told her not to be silly; she knew I wasn’t allowed a boyfriend. I never really understood why me and Jack weren’t allowed to have boyfriends and Daddy never explained it to us. He wasn’t so strict with Jack but I was the golden girl, the eldest so he always watched me like a hawk. Mom wasn’t so bothered but I never really saw her; she was either out with her friends or in bed with a migraine.

“Oh look at him over there!” Greta said, pointing across the road, “he’s very handsome and he has a dog! He’s perfect for you, go and talk to him!”

“Greta!” I laughed, “Stop it! You’ll get me in trouble!”

“Oh what your father doesn’t know won’t hurt him! Come on let’s go and speak to him.”

“Nanny!” I scolded and stopped dead in the street, looking at her with wide eyes, “you’re terrible!”

She looked behind her at me and rolled her eyes. I knew she was right but I was far too scared of what Daddy will say or do if he ever found out; I was never particularly rebellious, not like Jack, and I think the only thing I’ve ever done to go against Daddy’s wishes was one time when I had a full sugar coke instead of a diet one when I was 14. I guess I’m just a daddy’s girl like Jack always tells me. Greta was a bad influence on me but my small fear of Daddy was always enough to keep me from being badly behaved. I was a good girl right to the middle.

“Ok, ok, Miss Cat, I understand. Let’s get this shopping.”

I loved spending time with Greta. We always had fun and a good time. She always told me about her childhood and when she was a younger woman. The reason she was such a bad influence was because she was a rebel chick in her youth. She ran wild, she would tell me, and go around with boys and drink alcohol and eat cake. In a way, I wish I was like that too but it just wasn’t me.

“Let’s get some of these, Miss Cat, and then we can go and have a picnic in the park,” Greta said and picked up some pre-packaged sandwiches with some chips and a packet of cookies, “like when you were little. It’s a lovely day.”

I nodded happily; any time spent with Nanny was the best.

I had called Daddy to tell him about the picnic, he sounded fine with it and said he could order pizza or something for the rest of the family. It would have been pepperoni so I wouldn’t have had any anyway.

We lay on the grass and ate our food. Greta was pointing out different things that she could see and all the men with dogs.

“Now that is something I would let get behind me,” Greta told me and I laughed in disbelief at her rude comments, “Miss Cat, he is looking at you.”

I rolled my eyes again and looked over to where she was looking. When I saw who it was my heart stopped then felt like it was going to come out of my mouth. I swallowed and stared back at him. It was him. I sat up onto my elbows to look at him better and Greta made an interested ‘ooo’ noise which made me laugh.

“He is exactly the kind of man I would have gone for,” she whispered to me, “go and speak to him.”

“Nanny…”

“What have you got to lose?”

“My life. Look at him, he’s obviously a criminal.”

“Even better! Go!”

She shoved my shoulder and wouldn’t let up until I stood and made my way over to him. When he saw me approaching, his lips curled up into a small smile once before settling back into the flat expression he had the past 2 times I had seen him.

“Sorry Sir,” I said to him once I was close enough, “Nanny wouldn’t leave me alone until I came to speak to you.”

“Nanny?” he asked.

His voice was the same gruff, kind of raspy one that he had in the motel. I thought maybe he had a bad throat or something but I guess he always sounded like that. I swallowed again, his eyes left my face and went to my throat, before I nodded and pointed back to where Greta was looking at us through her Chanel sunglasses, waving when she saw us looking.

“She your grandma?”

I shook my head and waved back to her, the man did the same.

“No, she was my nanny when I was a baby but when I was 18 she became our housekeeper.”

I was just about to look back up at him but was distracted by a huge white dog bounding towards me with a torn up tennis ball in its mouth. I gasped excitedly and crouched down to meet it. The ball was dropped at my feet and I ruffled the dogs ears. It looked like a pit bull or something like that, maybe a boxer dog, with tattered ears that had bite marks in them and only one eye. He had a scar on his lip and jaw but he was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. I already knew it was the man’s.

“Is he friendly?” I asked but didn’t wait for an answer, just carried on fussing tis huge muscly dog.

“Scrap,” the man said, “he’s a rescue.”

I looked up at him and saw that he was looking at me like I had grown two heads but then surprised me by crouching down with me. He stroked the dog himself with a small smile. He said that Scrap was part of a dog fighting ring in Lodi, just a few miles away from Charming. I cooed and fussed and made baby noises at the poor dog.

“Poor baby,” I pouted, “but your daddy is taking very good care of you, isn’t he? I bet he is, yes, I bet he is. You are such a lucky boy, yes you are, yes you are!”

“I didn’t want him to be killed,” The Man said.

“No,” I said, still pouting with my baby voice and fussing Scrap who was loving every moment of my attention, “killing things is wrong isn’t it? Yes it is! But your daddy is a nice man isn’t he? Oh yes, he saved you didn’t he Baby?”

Scrap rolled onto his back so I could rub his belly and play with his paws. I laughed as this massive dog melted and squirmed, his tail wagging so hard that his but was wiggling. I knelt on the grass fully so I could be more comfortable but The Man stayed squatting over me, I could feel his intense eyes on my face but I didn’t care; there was a dog here. Scrap panted and drooled onto my pretty pink dress but I wasn’t bothered.

“Oh you are the most handsome boy!”

I heard The Man breath out a laugh and looked up at him, kind of forgetting he was there. He was looking at me but it wasn’t as much of an intense thing this time. I smiled at him, happy that he had saved this dog’s life. How bad could someone be if they saved a life? Not that bad, I bet. Maybe he wasn’t as scary as I thought he was. He did look scary though but now that I was closer I got to see his tattoos more. He had loads. I blushed when I realised he was watching me admiring him but I guess he gets girls looking at him all the time.

“Sorry Sir,” I said again, “I should let you get back to playing. Yes I should!”

“You’re Catherine, right?” The Man asked and I nodded, “I’m Happy Lowman.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Lowman and it’s good to meet you Scrap! I should let you get back to playing.”

“No, it’s ok.”

I smiled, he didn’t want me to leave I guess. That was kind of a nice feeling. I glanced up at Greta and saw that she was looking at me smugly. I glared at her but secretly, I was happy that she sent me over because Scrap was the cutest thing I had literally ever seen and I was pleased I wasn’t so scared of Mr Lowman anymore.

Suddenly, Scrap was on his feet and pushing the tennis ball towards me. I laughed and stood up to throw the ball for him. I didn’t have so much arm strength so I didn’t manage to throw it very far. I guess Mr Lowman threw the ball further than I did because Scrap ran way further than where the ball was. I laughed again and Greta was still looking with that smug look on her face; she had actually persuaded me to go against Daddy’s orders. We stayed away from people with tattoos and just men in general.

Greta stood up and made her way over to me, greeting the muscle dog in a friendly voice and giving him a crust of a sandwich.

“Your phone had been ringing, Miss Cat,” Greta said and handed me my bag, “hello Sir, how are you?”

I reached in and took out my phone to see I had 5 missed calls from Daddy. Oh no; I was going to be in massive trouble. Why didn’t Greta answer the phone for me and let me know? I had to call him back straight away.

“Hello Ma’am,” Mr Lowman said to Greta politely, “it’s good to meet you.”

“Hi Daddy, I’m sorry; I didn’t hear my phone,” I said, “are you ok?”

“I need you home straight away Catherine. Where are you?”

“What’s happened?”

“I just need you home; you have been out for long enough.”

I didn’t understand what that meant. He was never normally this angry when I was out, especially if I was with Greta. I just really didn’t understand.

“Daddy?” I asked, frowning into the phone and glancing between Greta and Mr Lowman, “I don’t want to come home. I’m having fun with Greta.”

“Now Catherine.”

The line went dead and I couldn’t believe it. He was never like this ever. Greta was now looking at me with a concerned face and Mr Lowman was back to the emotionless face. The older lady put her hand on my arm and rubbed it lightly. I told her what Daddy had said and she scowled. She never pretended to like Daddy since I was old enough to make up my own mind on things but sometimes she said that Daddy put ideas into my head.

“Sorry Mr Lowman, I didn’t mean to interrupt your walk. See you later, bye.” I said with a small wave and a quick fuss of Scrap and kissed the dogs head before we left.

I spent the rest of the way home being worried about what was happening. Daddy never made me come home when I didn’t want too so it had to be really important.

When we did get home the smell of pizza hit me straight away but I wasn’t hungry. I helped Greta in with the bags but didn’t hear anything in the house so I went around calling for Daddy or Mom. I heard murmuring coming from Daddy’s office so I just went in. There was some quiet voices coming from Daddy’s office so I decided they were obviously in there. Not even bothering to knock because Daddy never cared if I heard about his business, I walked in and the room went quiet.

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed, “Uncle Jerry! Hi!”

“Hello Honey!” he called back, his face lighting up.

I ran across the room, dodged around Daddy’s huge desk, and jumped into Uncle Jerry’s arms. He picked me up, like he always did, and spun me around. His hand was on the back of my head while his other arm was around my waist. Once he put me back down, he kept his hand on the small of my back while he kissed my cheek. I was beaming up at him; I had missed Uncle Jerry. I hadn’t seen him for about a year or something? Like, it had been ages but he hadn’t changed at all.

“Look at you honey, all grown up!” he said and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“I’ve looked like this for years Jerry,” I laughed and hit him lightly on the arm, “what are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to help Daddy with some business, he’s having a bit of trouble with the development. You know he hasn’t got that much business sense.”

I giggled and laughed at Daddy who was sat in his chair smiling at me. He wasn’t angry with me, thank goodness, I think he just wanted me to come home to see Jerry. I pulled away from Jerry and went to kiss Daddy on the cheek. He asked if I wanted to stay in the office and I obviously nodded happily, and went to sit myself in the squashy armchair by the fireplace and bookshelves. I was a bit nervous because I always thought the fire would go everywhere with the bookshelves.

“Don’t sit there honey,” Jerry said and held his hand out to me, “some and sit on the desk like when you were little.”

“I’m not little anymore though Uncle Jerry,” I said with a frown, he was being so weird today, “I’ll take up too much room.”

“Do as you’re told, Catherine,” Daddy said firmly, making me turn around and walk back over.

Why were they being weird? Daddy always let me sit in this armchair because I could always fall asleep by the fire. I frowned again but hopped up onto the mahogany desk beside Daddy and watched them as they looked over paper with lines all over it. I wasn’t really sure what it was but it said something about apartment buildings. Probably for the new buildings. I didn’t listen, swinging my legs over the side of the desk and looked around the office but my ears perked up when I heard them mention the Sons of Anarchy.

“Are you sure you can trust them Duke?” Jerry asked, using Daddy’s nickname, “they are criminals after all. Where is this money coming from that you are gonna use to pay them? How much are you paying them?”

“They told me they could offer protection for the site to stop people breaking into it. I have spoken to Clay and he seems like a pretty top kind of guy; friendly you know? I told you Jerry, the investors are just going to have to put some more money into it.”

“How much, Duke?”

Daddy sighed and looked at me. He looked kind of sad so I put my hand on his arm with a smile. I didn’t know what was going on my they didn’t sound really happy. Daddy smiled back and covered my small hand with his huge one, rubbing it gently with another sigh.

“$30,000.”

Jerry bashed his hand down on the desk making me jump and flinch slightly. I covered my heart and looked up at him with wide eyes. that wasn’t really that much money, like, an hours work for Daddy or something. Jerry growled and looked at Daddy with a really angry face.

“Are you fucking kidding me Duke? $30,000 a month?” Jerry shouted at him and I gripped onto Daddy’s arm, “the investors are not going to support that! Especially to pay off a bunch of criminals.”

“Jerry-”

“I can’t believe you would be so stupid!”

I frowned again. Daddy still looked sad and Uncle Jerry just looked angry. He started walking around the office with his hand pinching his nose. Me and Daddy watched him walk around and huff. He then started laughing and looked over at us. When he came back to the desk, he stood next to me. His arm went around my shoulder, squeezing me and putting his hand on my bare leg. I looked up at him, confused and kind of uncomfortable. I tried to move my leg out from under his hand but he tightened his grip on me a bit.

“Uncle Jerry? I… I don’t like this,” I said quietly, looking over at Daddy for help.

“Don’t be stupid, Catherine,” Jerry said with a smile at me, “your Daddy said this was fine.”

“But-”

“Do as youre told Catherine.” Daddy said with another sigh.

I had literally no choice but to sit on the desk with Uncle Jerry’s hand holding my leg so hard that my skin was kind of dipping under his fingers, and his arm holding my shoulder. I shuffled uncomfortably but was obedient like I always was even though I kind of wanted to cry. I felt kind of scared but there nothing I could do. Daddy was not looking at me on purpose I think.

I don’t know how long I sat on the desk for but I felt really stiff and tense. Eventually though they stopped talking and I was let go. The place where his hand was had gone red and sore. I hoped I wouldn’t bruise.

“Call them in tomorrow,” Jerry said, “I want to talk to this Clay.”

Daddy nodded.

“Off you go then Catherine. We’ll see you down here for tomorrow’s meeting ok? Make sure you wear something nice. I want these men to see how beautiful you are and then they will feel bad about taking all of our money, ok?”

“Y-yes Sir,” I whispered and hopped off the desk, “goodnight Daddy.”

I kissed Daddy’s cheek before almost running out of the office. For once, I ignored Uncle Jerry’s asking for his own kiss and ran upstairs to my bedroom. After making sure that Romeo was in my room, I locked the door; double then triple checking the door wouldn’t move. Something was weird about Uncle Jerry today, and Daddy. They never acted like that. They are like best friends and had been since they played football in high school together. Jerry had introduced Mom to Daddy and everything but they argued and Jerry scared me.

I didn’t like how he grabbed me. I used to sit on his knee and fall asleep when I was younger and I always hugged him and stuff but he never touched me there. Mom and Daddy always told me that it was a really private place and that men should never touch me if I didn’t want them too but Daddy let Uncle Jerry touch me when I didn’t want him to.

I made sure I had on my most covering pyjamas and hid under the covers, hugging Romeo to my chest and trying not to cry out of confusion and fear.

 OH NO! - Poor Cat! There’s always a creepy uncle in these rich families, isn’t there? How do we feel about him? Is he an actual threat or just a bit dodgy?Cat is so innocent and cute, I love her. I’m wanting her to get stronger and know her own mind the more we find out about her but like we already know, she is going to need to grow up pretty quickly fairly soon!

Please give me your feedback on this and the other chapters, I’m not sure if we are liking this or not. (I’m a needy bitch ok)

See you in the next one.

Lots of love,

Doe

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

#duchess #happy lowman #happy lowman x oc #happy lowman fanfiction #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy imagine

[icetaelemonade]

Happy Birthday Kim Taehyung

Our favorite Gucci King turns a whole year older today! So of course I wanted to write a fic for him. It’s a bit long but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. Major fluff ahead!

Here’s to many more years Taetae!

Want to request a specific imagine? Go right ahead! Please check out my rules first.

I thanked every supernatural being for Tae being home on his birthday. I knew he was extremely busy with touring, but luckily his birthday happened to be after the tour ended. So there he was, happily resting in bed, unbeknownst to him that I had been preparing a whole day just for him. 

I woke up hours before my usual alarm clock just to prepare breakfast in bed for him. Tae was wrapped around my body as if he was some koala. He always needed something to cuddle with when he slept. It was difficult to squirm out of his embrace, but somehow I managed to escape without him waking up.

I tried my best to make a pancake in the shape on a heart, maybe it looked like a fat “u” but it was the thought that counts, right?

“Jagi?” I heard his morning raspy voice in the room. I knew his voice was already deep, but god in the morning it sounded like the ocean was talking. “Where are you?”

“Gimme a sec, babe!”

I scrambled around the kitchen for a birthday candle, I know I put them in some drawer from last year.

“Jaaaagi,” he whined. “I miss you already.”

“Taaae,” I mimicked him. “Stay in bed okay?”

I heard him whimper in response.

Finally! I found the tiny box of candles. I lit the candle and hurried to the room. I crept around the corner, just to make sure he wasn't getting up. 

“Happy birthday to you,” I sang. “Happy birthday to yooou!”

I wish I could've taken a picture of his reaction when I entered. All weariness from the morning melted away and was replaced with his boxy smile. His eyes would turn into crescent moons, and the shine in his eyes were stars. I would joke around with him and say that his smile lines would last him until he was an old grandpa, but I loved them nonetheless. He gasped, in a good way, when he saw my failed attempt at the pancake. 

“Happy birthday dear Taetae. Happy birthday to yooou!” I feigned a high note that made my voice crack. 

And his laugh, god. I wish I could bottle that up and keep it in a pocket close to my heart.

Tae clasped his hands together and closed his eyes. His lips moved slightly before blowing out the candle.

“Aww, babe, you didn’t have to.”

I placed his breakfast on his lap and made my way to the spot on the bed. 

“Oh but I did!” I pecked his cheek. “Happy birthday Taetae.”

He leaned into my shoulder. “You made my character from BT21. You made Tata!”

“Oh, well, I tried to.” Somehow I learned how to do pancake art last night after he went to sleep. It only took hours on YouTube to learn how to do so. “I was going to add a body, but you woke up already.”

“Heehee.” Tae shifted his head to touch his forehead to mine, eyes piercing my own. I loved his natural eyes, his natural hair, his natural look. I never knew I could love the color brown so much. 

Whenever he’d lean into me, foreheads touching, it felt like we were puzzle pieces just waiting to link together. And when he kissed me, our lips belonged together. Perhaps he lingered a bit too long, but I didn’t mind.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Now eat! Your food is getting cold.”

“Only if you eat with me.” He began to slice a piece off and offer it to me.

“No, no, no, it’s your birthday. You get the first bite.”

“Hmm, okay. Feed me then.”

I rolled my eyes, but happily obliged. We’d take turns feeding each other, more often than not I was the one feeding him but I didn’t complain.

“Hey, I want the lips,” I said. He had already cut that part out, but I wanted it more.

Tae brought the piece to my lips only to feed himself. I pretended like I was hurt, but he pecked my lips. 

I groaned. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Yes, yes I am.”

He could be such a sap sometimes. Tae finished the last few bits and leaned into me, sighing contently. 

“What’s in store for today?” He asked.

“Well,” I began to run my fingers through his hair. He was very into intimate touches. Cuddles, holding hands, he just needed to touch me and he’d be content. “I have a few things planned out for you, but really it’s up to you.”

“Agh, I just want the whole day with you.” We switched roles and I ended up being pulled into his lap, practically enveloping me in his embrace. “I just need a bow on you, can you be my birthday present?”

“Maaaybe. But who says you get only one present from me?”

“Babe.”

“What?”

“You don't need to spoil me.” He held me as close as humanly possible and rested his chin on my head. “I just want you.”

“And I want you to be happy. I’ll do whatever you want for today, how about that?”

“Good, now cuddle with me.”

We spent the morning in bed, just enjoying each others company. At random intervals he’d bite my ear or shoulder. It was his strange habit, but I’ve come to adore it. Towards the afternoon we played a bit of Overwatch. He was an excellent D.va and I mostly played support just to help him out. We reached Master rank and celebrated with sweets and hot chocolate. I told him to not spoil his appetite, but he took one last candy. 

“What’s next, Jagi?” He asked after opening his lootbox. 

“Hmm, want to go to the park?”

“Yes!” 

Breakfast in bed, check. Overwatch, check. Hot chocolate and other sweets, check. I tucked his present in my bag and hurried to get ready to finally set out of the place. In the middle of preparations my phone buzzed.

It was a group SMS of me and the rest of the boys. Namjoon said he and everyone else would be coming over to bring presents. 

“Tae?”

“Yeah, I saw it.”

He came out of the bathroom wearing little make up but, as always, he looked as stunning as ever. His fashion choice was toned down a bit, though I still noticed his Gucci shoes. 

Despite his glowing face, he pouted. “I kinda wanted today to be just between us.”

My heart fluttered for a second. He’d rather spend the day with me than his friends, his second family. “I’ll let them in only for an hour, then the rest of the day is just us two.”

He was still pouting, looking down in feign sadness. I linked our hands together and pecked his nose, I was aiming for that mole on its tip. “I’m still your present, remember?”

He giggled and lightly bit my nose. “Okay.”

The rest of Bangtan came over a few minutes later. They all greeted Tae a happy birthday and piled presents on the dining table. We chatted and joked around for a while. When they asked if we wanted to eat out for dinner I jumped in.

“Actually, I was hoping to have the birthday boy to myself today.”

“What, why do you get V to yourself?” J-hope asked.

Tae walked over with a bow from one of the presents and tied it around my neck. “Because this is the best present. I plan on keeping Y/N to myself today.”

The boys hollered, nudging me and Tae. I’ll admit, my cheeks flushed hot when he claimed me as his. He linked our fingers together, just to get his point across.

I ushered the boys out as they nagged us for being so possessive of each other. Namjoon told us to “stay safe.” And with that I shut the door. Their laugh still seeped through the doors. 

Tae and I managed to get to the park with no more interruptions. We stayed there throughout the rest of day, mostly walking around, taking pictures, enjoying our time together. There was a carousel that he insisted we ride. He sat on a horse behind me, the shutter of his camera would go off every other second. I looked back and formed a heart with my fingers with a scrunched face. He took at least fifty consecutive shots of that one moment. I took the camera from him as he modeled for me. I used to tease him and say he was the best at everything: modeling, acting, being a boyfriend. He would reply that it was I who brought it out the most. Regardless, he knew he was in front of a camera, the calm and composed side of Tae came out. Hooded eyes, lips slightly parted. I know there were many photos of him posing like this, but some nights, I’d see a Kim Taehyung that no one else did. Perhaps he showed off a bit too much, people started to realize who he was. He only smiled and waved at the fans. We went one last round on the carousel before leaving the park. 

Tae studied the pictures once we came back home. He had hooked up the camera to the computer, already storing the photos from today.

“Jagi! You look so cute in this one,” he grabbed my hand pointed to one where I was mid-laugh, and about to cover my mouth with my oversized sweater paws. Tae brought my hand up to his lips and just rested them there on the back of my hand. 

This was the perfect opportunity. 

“Speaking of photos,” I brought out the present I packed and brought it in front of him. “I thought about giving you some of my favorite ones.”

The present was a small golden pouch, one of the unused make-up pouches. Inside were a handful of printed out photos throughout our relationship and--

“Is this Gucci?!” He exclaimed.

A charm dangled from the pouch zipper. It was a little UFO with the not-so-subtle Gucci logo patterned throughout the metal trinket. 

“I know you don't really do your 4D quirks anymore, but regardless I think you’re out of this world.”

“Jaaaagi!” He pulled me into his lap and peppered kisses along my face. Once again he bit my ear, it tickled too much to be sexual. Then he said some gibberish.

“Huh?”

“I just said, ‘I love you’ in alien.”

I tried my best to mimic what he said, but he only laughed. 

We shuffled through the photos together. I pointed out my favorites, like the one where he was in stilettos, leather pants, and that choker leash thing. He posed like Vogue model and I couldn't help but capture the moment. 

“How about we capture one right now?” He asked.

Tae unplugged his camera and somehow took a selfie with me on his lap. Our faces were squished together, smiles stretching from ear to ear. He held me by my waist, as close as possible. As the camera flashed I had my own wish, to have many more birthdays with Tae, to always be his favorite present.

#happy birthday tae!!!! #happy tae day #i hope i did him justice #i really love him too #also #this is my first fic I've posted! #hope y'all like it #tae #fic #text #bts #bts imagines #bts imagine #bts v #bts taehyung #bts fanfic #bts fluff #this was so full of fluff #wow #i think i have a cavity #happy v day #bts oneshot #mine

[oh-beyond]

Idol’s life - Part 3

Chen was so stressed and busy, schedules on a daily basis, no joy, no rest, no nothing, SM getting into his private life way too much, overwhelmed, doesn’t have a moment to even breath, he was done… but meeting this foreigner unexpectedly will make his days more manageable.

Fluff but it’s Chen so he always tries to add a bit of spice to everything because… it’s this cheeky person he is.

Chen (Canon) x Reader

Masterlist

< Part 2 - Epilogue Part 1 >

You swore under your breath not to fall asleep never, ever…

The way he inhaled and exhaled as he slept, just regular… but you were convinced it wasn’t, you felt every movement he did rocking your whole body, he moved you moved, you moved he tightened the grip.

“가지마, 가지마 - gajima, gajima - don’t go, don’t go” he said over and over all night, every time you moved a muscle.

You managed to lift your head and thank god that the moon light was letting you see his gentle sleep, it was true what they said about his lips, curled up naturally even sleeping, even pouting, why was he pouting sleeping? To make your heart race more than what it already was? He was cruel even in his sleep, you were worried that all your ‘awwws’ and ‘nahwwws’ were going to be audible as some stage, you fought the urge to quick your legs in the mattress from all the excitement, all while he slept, safe and sound away from his worries, away from his responsibilities.

Kim Jongdae seemed relieved and his sleep too heavy, you loved it, you loved the fact that you were the source of this relief, it showed in his perfect sleeping face.

You dared darting your hand to touch his cheekbones, those killers that felt sharp even on screen, those that were just at your reach, he was asleep, you might as well, just…

It ticked him, his nose scrunched, his hand went on his face to scratch the area but instead he met your hand, he took it and kissed your palm.

“I’ll let you touch me tomorrow now just please just stop moving” he said without opening his eyes

“Wha- ha? I wasn’t touching you.”

In a blink of an eye the places were switched, he pulled his arm free from beneath your head resting his own over your chest, body face down, his arm around your waist, it didn’t feel nothing but a child clinging on his mom, just too needy, too gentle to even protest.

Your hand rested on the crown of his head playing with his perfect silky hair that smelled manly and clean, heaven wouldn’t feel half as good, you wished time stopped like this because yes Jongdae was addicted to your soothing cuddles, but you were just as addicted to anything that came from him.

The cold hit your collarbones and further down, you felt the pull at the collar of the oversized t-shirt that you liked to wear to sleep, you were just too tired to open your eyes, but you felt fingers brushing at the top of your chest, then it hit you.

You gasped as you jumped straightening yourself placing your hands securely over your chest, finding Jongdae sitting next to you in bed still bare chested his arms on his knees.

“What the hell were you doing? Why are you half naked?”

“This is how I usually sleep, I’m sorry but I’m pretty sure you go to the beach and you’ve seen men nipples before, is it a thing in your country?”

“Excuse you? What? Where you looking at my boobs?”

“No I wasn’t.”

“You totally were, yes you were looking at my boobs, OMG” you repeated getting up from bed still holding onto your chest.

“No I wasn’t! And if I was, I would had no problem in telling you, I’m just blunt like that” he added standing up next to you.

Then you were met face to face with his beautiful bare torso, you did look at his nipples that begged to be pinched. As a punishment. Nothing more… then his Chenguns that complemented the full view, your knees, yes they felt weak, you were totally being attacked.

“It’s you who is looking at my boobs now, and my shoulders and my Nutella abs.”

You covered your ears and closed your eyes “I’m not listening.”

“This is the dream of every stalker” he added.

You frowned, what did he want? OK was this his blunt personality? He was being annoying right now “what were you doing Kim Jongdae?”

“I was looking at the incredibly impossible coincidence that you have beauty spots on your collarbones, like me… it’s fascinating.”

You looked down on yourself and back at his chest, it was also fascinating that he liked them just as much as you did, he paid attention to these small details just as much as you did, he liked the same features just like you did.

“And you know what’s more fascinating?” he asked.

You looked at his eyes that were smiling, almost hiding at this stage from the bright smile he carried.

“That when I hug you, they should fit just perfectly” he surprised you bringing you into an embrace looking down on his chest “and yes I was right, it’s like a puzzle, you provide nice cuddles even for my moles” he said giggling to himself lost in his thoughts and little fantasy.

You were perplexed, it was so cute… everything he said, his thinking, his positioning, his tryout to see if they touched, you wanted to rip them cheeks squeezing, you wanted so badly, but you opted to keep watching what he was doing, this human being was not real…

“I am so happy when I am near you, I can be myself, talk stupid stuff not thinking I’m crazy, I escape reality, I don’t know if I could ever thank you enough, this hug also providing an energy boost because I need it” he rested his chin on your shoulder the hug tightening as he spoke, his voice sounding affected when reminded of what was to happen today.

“Oppa, is everything alright? Did anything happen at night? Any bad news…?”

“I have a meeting with my managers, I think even Lee Sooman himself will come down to meet with me” his tone changed drastically when he was reminded of reality.

Your hand patted his back, his voice sounded more shaky by the second.

“Shhh, it will be alright you will see, I’ll be right here, don’t worry about anything”

He got changed, he combed his hair watching how nervous he was, he sat down to finally tie his shoelaces and make the big step of leaving for his undeniable fate… he huffed and puffed looking at you intensely.

“Come on you need to go, you’ll be late, you don’t want to be accused of irresponsible, I know you aren't.”

“Cuddles, more cuddles.”

“Oppa~~~ come on get up.”

“When I’m done I’m coming back.”

“Yes enjoy this because I don’t start university until next week.”

You stood at the door, playing with the hem of your t-shirt, Jongdae finally giving up and walking like a 5-year-old on his first day of school, he looked like he was going to throw a tantrum anytime now.

“Cuddles.”

“I don’t want to wrinkle your clothes.”

He didn’t listen, it was yet the most desperate one, his lips directly on your shoulder, the thin fabric making his warm breath go through, he came closer to where there was exposed skin and buried his face there, his nose inhaling everything he could.

“Hug me back… please.”

How could you not? Your arms were about to wrap around him, you felt how his head was travelling downwards your chin now atop of his head, his cheek pressed in your chest.

“Op-ah-wha-”

“I just want to hear your heartbeat, it’s reassuring.”

Reassuring to him, but betraying too, you thought to yourself, your heartbeats would give you up. 

“No!” you exclaimed detaching yourself, Jongdae questioning if he went to far this time “it’s… weird.”

“I’m sorry, geez I got carried away” he said rubbing at the back of his neck “I’ll better go.”

“Oppa, wait!”

He stood expectant, you cupped his face and kissed his cheek gently lips barely touching his smooth face “good luck” you said getting back to your place.

Jongdae covered the place where you kissed him, his face blushing noticeably. The great ‘Chen’ just got lovestruck, his whole body warmed and he couldn’t hide how shy he suddenly felt.

“고마워…- gomaweo… - thanks…” he said releasing a deep breath “자기야! - jagiya! - dear!” he added looking at your eyes for at least 30 seconds of a total overwhelming silence…

“Kim Jongdae, do you understand that this is a written warning as the verbal warning wasn’t taken into consideration?”

Jongdae looked at Junmyeon and Minseok in total frustration, Junmyeon always wanted to the peacemaker between the guys and management, his hands were always tied, he had no other choice but to be like this. Minseok kept patting on Jongdae’s back and squeezing his knee as a sign of support all while the managers kept nagging and nagging.

“Can we perhaps take a break” asked smiley Junmyeon, Jongdae questioning wether if his smiles were even relevant at all now.

Jongdae walked out of the room losening his tie, resting his hands over his hips kicking nothing but the air around him.

“Jongdae-yah! It’s alright, nothing out of the ordinary, they can’t do anything you know that” said Minseok.

“I still think you shouldn’t sleep outside the dorms, you know we are not allowed when we are leaving for promotions soon”

“Junmyeon hyung! I ask myself this all the time, are you not human? Like do you not have the needs we all do? Why do we need to live like caged chickens that lay golden eggs?”

Junmyeon was taken aback at the bluntness and disrespectful tone Jongdae used, if it wasn’t Junmyeon…

“This is the life we chose for ourselves Jongdae” he almost whispered.

“Can you handle yet another departure? You lost 2 of the best friends you ever made in your life, I can’t believe you let Yifan gege and Tao just leave…”

“Jongdae-yah! Enough” threatened Minseok.

“And you Minseok hyung, Lu-ge, Xiao Lu, remember? Are you fucking kidding me? Why are you so sure I won’t do something like that?”

Minseok brought Jongade into a surprising embrace “shut up you idiot, just shut up” said Minseok as he harshly punched his back “you know better than this.”

“Let’s go guys, I would appreciate if you don’t bring this up again Jongdae, when you are hurt it doesn’t make it OK to hurt others, especially when they care about you”

“자기야 왔어 - jagiya wasseo - I arrived dear.”

He entered with bags of food, but you weren’t home, you had gone to get milk and bread, he pouted placing the bags on the dinning table, the annoyance was so obvious, he had taken for granted that you would be there, that he would be between your arms as soon as he entered the passcode, and now he had to wait.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled your number:

“Yah! I’m home jagiya!”

“Ah really? I’m coming.”

“Where were you?”

“I was with my loving boyfriend, loving him as he loved me back.”

“Yah! Ah waeeee~~~?” he felt like a thorn in his chest “come back!”

He heard the passcode being entered, he rushed to the door standing with a frown, he surprised you being this close.

“Oppa!”

He crossed his arms over his chest “you promised to be here when I come back.”

“Come here” you said with a teasy smile opening your arms coming closer to him hugging him his arms still crossed over his chest.

“You were with your boyfriend? Giving him cuddles?”

“Don’t be silly!”

He gave in and hugged you back his head in it’s usual place in your neck, this time lifting you off the floor, wow, he was strong, his arms consuming your soul at this stage.

“Come on let’s eat.”

“Alright put me down.”

“But this feels so good, I’ll take you.”

“Oppa~~~ put me down, your breath as you talk is tickling me.”

He put you down with and amused face he covered his mouth “you are ticklish? Girl you have no clue of the big mistake you have just done, you shouldn’t ever had mentioned that you are ticklish” said the almighty Jongdae’s ‘lil shit’ mode that just turned on.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Oppa?”

You run to your room trying to close the door behind you but he pushed it and you walked backwards and of course you fell on your mattress, he didn’t think it twice and he climbed on top of you and started tickling you all over merciless, you couldn’t move, he had you completely caged, you tried tickling him back but he wasn’t getting affected, until he reached that spot on your right side just bellow your bellbottom you stated screaming.

“Oppa! I can’t I’m dying, you are tutoring me.”

“This is way too good to let it go.”

“I won’t hug you ever again.”

He stopped, in an instant he was reminded that cuddling was better.

“Jagi? You are joking right?” he said straightening himself getting out from the bed.

You had lunch in complete silence, he kept looking at you for any sign of forgiveness, but no, he crossed the line ‘he was adorable, like a little scared mouse’ wanting you to look back at him.

“I need to go buy things for uni next week.”

“I’ll come with you!”

“No way, I am really sorry but I won’t have my pictures taken with you, no sir.”

Jongdae smiled, he saw the genuineness in what you said, other girls would had loved to have their picture taken with him, maybe even rumours being spread, you just wanted him to be happy and safe. You didn’t want anything else.

But he couldn’t could he? Could he just stay in the apartment or worst even go back to the dorms?

You finished eating, cleared the table and left questioning how is that he wasn’t clingy about a cuddle before you left, suspicious…

But there it was, your answer, in the subway, this person with a very low baseball hat over his eyes and the face mask his hands were on his pockets, you couldn’t believe it, Kim Jongdae was nuts, he certainly had the balls to act like that.

You decided on ignoring him, as if you didn’t notice, altho he send you eye smiles while sitting across you, you just ignored.

You walked thru the department store, you felt that black shadow following you everywhere, after you were done, you were checking where is the most impressive looking guy around you, apart from Jongdae, come on this is freaking Seoul… yes the guy selling perfumes, tall and gorgeous… payback Kim Jongdae.

“Excuse me” you said with a flirty smile “wow are you here selling these? I bet you sell a lot, you must attract customers” what a slutty statement, the guy wasn’t impressed and he only nodded his head, you knew by not Jongdae would be boiling, not for any reason in particular, but for the mere fact that you didn’t talk to him like that.

“Can I help you with anything?” said the employee.

“Well I have a few ideas” you winked at him, he now was doubting whether you were in your right mind or not.

You felt a grab in your arm “walk… straight” his distinctive voice hitting your earlobe.

“What are you doing? They will see us oppa~~~”

Jongdae drove the car in silence not looking at you at all, you didn’t dare speak, you just went with the flow, he looked too serious for a tiny joke.

You got in the apartment finally taking his mask off his serious frown clear in his face.

“Is that the usual way you talk to strangers?”

“No I wa-”

“It’s not funny.”

“Oppa, I knew you were following me I was trying to-”

“To what? To what ha?”

“Are you that upset? It’s not like… oppa, I didn’t mean to bother you it was a joke.”

“Don’t do that again, it feels horrible.”

You nodded, was he jealous? Or was he protective of his cuddle buddy?

You went to your room still surprised by his behaviour, you changed into your oversized t-shirt and went on washing the dishes, while Jongdae played some Fifa, hearing him curse and all the ‘ah waes’ live was the best thing in life, he was so comfortable that you loved being a little part of his momentarily happiness.

“Can I stay here tonight?”

“In the couch, I will lock my room.”

“Alright."

It went quiet for a moment, just before turning around to check on him he had his chest pressed to your back, arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder.

“I can’t wash the dishes like that.”

“Then leave them for later, sit with me.”

“I need to clean the mess.”

“Then I will stay here.”

And there he stayed, commenting how you missed a spot and how the forks weren’t clean enough, you moved to the cooker to clean and he was still clinging on you like a baby koala, it was uncomfortable to work like that but how happy made him feel was enough to endure his heavy body that was practically rested on you.

“You are such a baby.”

“It’s your fault, they feel too nice, what power irradiates form you that makes me feel this good?”

The rest of the evening was spent talking about your family, friends, childhood, you showed him pictures of you and places you’ve been to, Jongdae did the same, he talked about the guys, especially Baekhyun and Chanyeol and how annoying they were, never forgetting about his best friend Minseok. He brought your legs on his lap as he kept talking, he started to rub your knees with his thumbs as if it was the most normal thing to do, he didn’t leave you space to protest and kept talking, Minseok hyung this and Minseok hyung that, but all you were focused on were his mighty thumbs hitting the right spot ‘ngh~~~’ was swallowed because please, pull yourself together he’s talking about his hyung…

“What are you looking at?” he interrupted your thoughts “are you even listening?”

“Ha? Yes, yes…”

“You like them don’t you?” he said pointing at his moles “yeah what can I say? They drive you crazy I know.”

“Oh I have my own, and they are charmers too.”

Jongdae took one of the new pens you bought today for uni looking at you cheekily “game?” he said taking off the lid.

“Tracing?” 

He nodded “ladies first” he offered the pen to you taking off his t-shirt casually, you looked away clearing your throat, bringing your head back to meet with Jongdae pulling his sweatpants all the way up revealing them mighty thighs.

You got up and started with his back, drawing a line to connect 3 big moles he had there, the tickling sensation of the pen making him giggle.

“Stay still” you demanded firmly as you concentrated on drawing steady lines.

You followed on his left arm to connect the line with that other mole he had there, Jongdae watching closely how you bit your tongue, you kept drawing the line meeting with the ones he had on his chest facing him now.

“I’ll go for your legs” you announced, but Jongdae wasn’t smiling anymore.

“Those horrible shorts you keep wearing lately… the sense of fashion Kpop industry has is… unique” you said out of the blue confidently not to let him notice that you were affected when he opened his legs and his incredibly fortunate mole on his thigh was displayed.

“The shorts might be horrible but my legs are nice to show, don’t you think?” his voice sounding too husky all of a sudden, your eyes dared looking at him, he carried a strange look, new to you, one of those looks he has when shooting MVs, or in concerts, the intimidating Chen was making an appearance in the middle of your apartment.

He pulled both your hands and made you sit between his legs “do my face ones”

You gulped very aware of how he was looking at you, dark stare, unreadable. The pen made a line connecting his 2 temple moles at his right side, connecting the line to the ones that were under his right eyebrow, then a line straight to his left eyebrow were he had another 2, doing a line now over his nose, tracing a line over his left cheek to meet the ones on his left temple. 

You knew you missed some on his right side but Jongdae had stopped you grabbing on your wrists pulling your hands to rest at his chest, cupping your face with both hands, your own hands left his chest and held his arms, questioning this awkward situation.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Not yet.”

You saw him close his eyes and bring you closer to his face as he titled his head to one side.

Hyperventilation, what would you do now? Wait, no he was basically… aiming for a kiss.

“No wait! I-how-I-don’t.”

He opened his eyes, very confused, he knew you wanted, it was the perfect moment, why would you ruin something so cute like this?

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know? You don’t know if you want to?”

You rubbed your hands against each other.

“YOU DON’T KNOW AS IN YOU DON’T KNOW… OR YOU DON’T KNOW…?”

You looked at him your face heating up.

“Are you underage? Please just whatever the answer is please let it be a big fat NO”

“No, I’m not, I’, __! See you don’t know anything about me yet here you are in my apartment, we had shared bed and the most friskiest things.”

“I am planning on changing that believe me, I want to know everything about you, I’m sorry, you are right, I’m an idiot, you are too precious, I didn’t mean to scare you off, just please forgive me.”  

He was too weak just the thought of really upsetting you was driving him crazy, he rested his head oh your shoulder to taste waters, you weren’t mad really it was just too rushed, too fast and yes really you had no clue how to give a proper kiss and this was Chen, your only experience was back home and it was horrible, that thought was in the back of your mind.

Your hand run up and down in his back feeling his spine and the reaction of his skin under your fingertips and your touch, this was the first time you touched his bare back creating goosebumps on your way up and down that you clearly felt.

“괜찮아요 오빠 - gwaenchanhayo oppa - it’s alright oppa.”

“정말 보고싶을거야, 어떻게? 너 진짜 좋아해 - jongmal bogosipeulgeoya, eottoeohkke? neo jinjja johahae - I will miss miss you a lot, (what to do?), I really like you” he whispered almost inaudible.

“Oppa, I am not understanding what you are saying.”

He pulled you closer making you gasp following by wrapping your arms around him again, he seemed too upset.

“I am leaving.”

“Alright, it’s a good idea, better they see you are responsible, I thin-”

“On tour, 4 weeks, maybe longer, we have the China tour and other Asian cities.”

Oh… 

Silence…

“I need to be there tomorrow early, we will leave in 2 days but you know the fitting of the outfits, the crap they need to put on our faces…

“Ah you don’t need anything beauty treatment, these lines I draw on you should be a trend”

You managed to make him smile.

“Jagi… thanks for not questioning anything, for not finding this weird… thanks for having me, thanks for your cuddles…”

You looked at the ceiling of your room not finding sleep, it was very late, counting the hours till Jongdae would leave, you heard the shower running and guessed he couldn’t sleep either.

But then the high pitch voice…

“절대 안돼! 어떻게!? 어떻게!? 어떻게!? 젠장~~~! - jeoldae andwae! eottoeohkke!? eottoeohkke!? eottoeohkke!? jenjang~~~ - No way (never) (what to do x3!?) Shit!”

You got up a bit worried, maybe something happened?

“Oppa?” you said after knocking on the bathroom door “are you-”

He opened the door towel wrapped around his waist steam coming out, little droplets falling from his hair… and the lines you drew perfectly visible.

“It’s not going away! I’m screwed!”

You went to check what type of pen is that you got and it perfectly said ‘permanent’ in red, you giggled and looked back at Jongdae who had the cutest look all scared.

“Don’t worry, I have a way.”

He followed you to your room and closed the door, with the pretext that it was too cold, you got your nail polish remover and with some cotton and started to remove the lines easily.

“My saviour!” he said relieved.

After finishing he hugged you.

“You are wet oppa~~~”

He got up and dried himself placing his sweatpants on in less than a minute, he didn’t even knock the door inviting himself next to you in bed.

“Op-”

“I need them, cuddles, please I won’t get any for weeks.”

“You could cuddle with Kai, I bet you it must feel nice.”

“Yah!” 

“Shhh, I’m just messing, 괜찮아요 오빠 - gwaenchanhayo oppa - it’s alright oppa”

It was 5:30 am, you knew he was awake, altho he didn’t move all night from your back, his head well buried in your shoulder, he slowly detached himself making you roll to your back.

You felt his lips on your forehead, then on the tip of your nose, then another in your right cheek, your left one, finally you left his thumb gently over your lips.

“I know I said that I won’t, but I will steal one just this once, I’m sorry.”

Your heart raced when you heard the words so close to you, his lips landed on yours softly.

“사랑해 - saranghae - I love you” he whispered before you felt the feeling of nothingness the door closing behind him.

“WHERE IS MY COAT KIM JONGDAE?” you asked facetiming him.

“Who knew polar bear here could be of such good use? Keep me company in these sorrowful nights in Beijing.”

___________________________

A/N: Yes there is an epilogue to wrap up all this ^_^ don’t kill me!

#chen #exo chen #chen fanfic #chen fanfiction #chen fluff #chen fic #chen imagine #chen scenario #chen canon #exo #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo fluff #exo fic #exo scenarios #exo imagine #gwaenchanhajagiya #kim jongdae #jongdae #jongdae fanfic #jongdae fanfiction #jongdae fluff #jongdae scenario #jongdae imagine

[thevanishingomens]

HELP PLS

So we have this English Coursework that basically was supposed to be done this week- but I'm in Portugal so I thought I'd write it while I'm here. The main theme is either change or loneliness. Which can branch out to many things. I chose the loneliness after a family member dies. But somehow down the road of writing this story it just turned completely different. I was wondering if anyone out there would be so kind as to read it and hopefully give me feedback before Sunday night 8pm. Thank you~ 'Running Out' Blair Johnson never thought that even after all she'd been through she'd get a chance to start again. To say "i'm sorry". A chance to somehow make up for what had happened. To change destiny. Re-write her fate. "I never thought to this day that after loosing my brother I'd be able to gain another. Yet somehow- whether it was fate, destiny or some God out there...I got Logan. And although we have our differences and I'm a huge pain in the ass-" The class interrupted with a burst of laughter while looking back to the embarrassed Logan. Blair was up at the front of the classroom, pages crumpled in-between her sweaty, nervous, unsteady hands. Beads of sweat slowly making their way down Blair Johnsons' forehead. Her teeth showing through her nervous smile as her pool blue eyes looked at Logan look away embarrassed. Her long ashy blond locks of hair were straightened and located somewhere over her back and held behind her ears. "I'm glad you decided to come Logan. Even if it is for just three days. And even if by the end of it you hate my family and never wanna see them again.... I'm thankful that you at least tried to reason with us. And that's all I could ever ask of you. To try" Blair said as she shied away from the looks of classmates. She stared at her paper as she read the last few words. She looked up only to receive the next horrifying thing. Silence. It was a sweet moment really. As a way to ensure that Logan would fit in at a new town, new school and new family, Blair had to ensure that taking Logan to school would be a piece of cake. So far, four classes in, it had all gone alright. But maybe centring her English essay on him and her new step-dad wasn't a good way about it. Logan clapped along with the class- but had he really liked it? Blair's thoughts were all over the place.  "Well done Blair, you can take a seat now. And I'm very pleased to welcome you here Logan Fox. And remember that even if you never wish to come to this school, the school will be here for you" Mr. Hendrix stated with a smile before moving the lesson along by picking the next reader. Blair walked back to her seat next to her new brother, Logan, as soon as Blair sat down he quietly mumbled out a thank you before turning his face out to the window. Blair let out a sheepish smile while setting her now crumpled up essay neatly on her desk. Logan kept his face and expression forward to not let Blair know how he really felt, miserably happy even though Blair had just centred her English essay on him and his dad. Definitely not the finest idea Blair Johnson had, had. It was now home time, the best feeling any student could have on a Friday. Going home to stuff your face with junk, take huge naps at 5 in the evening and game until morning. Ugh- I mean do homework and study....obviously.... Blair stood, leaning against the pole of where 2 bikes were tied. They were tied with chains that had padlocks which kept incoming criminals at bay if they ever tried to break the bikes free from their capture. She could sense that something was wrong, that something was going to happen. The same feeling she had when Eric Johnson left that night. She could feel it in the air. But with her depressed mentality she couldn't trust her guts feeling. Instead she shook the feeling away and tried to think positively. Logan was here and she was prepared to ensure he would have as much fun as possible. Knowing full well he was an alternative punk kind of guy and preferred to keep his emotions to himself, Blair had the perfect weekend planned out. Plus a little bonus surprise. With every bone in her body Blair tried to sway away from the fact that her depression had to be kept secret, that she had to hide that part of her and only show Logan her fun, kind, and sunny self (I.e a completely different person- a character if you will). She kept quiet and thought of how her plans would work out. Devastatingly enough the sky began to turn grey with a dark blue tinge to it. It was going to rain. How did Blair know? She could feel the warm humid air wrap around her as the dark grey clouds formed into one huge cumulonimbus, ready to erupt with thunder, lightening, strong winds and buckets of rain. Blair had put on her bright neon blue raincoat over her black skinny ripped jeans and her bright yellow sweater which was fashionably ripped over her collarbones and forearms. She walked around in black combat boots which matched her black leather bag which contained all her school books and anything she seemed would be fit to take to school. I don't know why anyone would bring an old flower with them to school but Blair surely did... To pass the time as she waited for her new brother and her friends to make their way over from the gym, Blair had decided to reminisce through old memories of her late brother and how much she'd grown due to that accident. An accident the whole town had heard and would never forget. The town had its secrets. Since it was found by Magdalena Arden, a young Dutch woman who was travelling in her college days, the town had always seen tragic endings for different families. Murders, disappearances and tragic accidents. Things that often ended in death. Just like the late Eric Johnson. Who had decided he would sneak out one night only to be found by the young 12 year old Blair, and although she kept it a secret, when she later found out the next day that her brother had been in a car accident and died she could only blame herself. If she had stopped him- if she had told her parents. If only she had done something! Surely Eric Johnson wouldn't be laying in a coffin, 6ft below the ground with half his face mutilated and an arm that had been ripped right off when the car had a head on collision with a drunk truck driver. Neatly dressed in a black suit with a red rose in the front pocket, stitched and cleaned up to look presentable to the god who had done this. At least that's what Blair's dad Kendrick had stated, that it was his fault, the man upstairs who wore heavenly white and had decided Eric wasn't fit to be in earth. A subject that nowadays can only cause confusion, treachery and murder. Crimes of the highest order. Blair kept as far away from religion as she could, ever since her brother died and her parents divorced Blair believed no-one upstairs was real. Or at least that if they were, they were sadistic monsters. Blair looked up at the sky as light rain drops hit her makeup covered face, she felt as if the weather was mirroring her depressed feelings of sadness, anger, guilt and blame. She hadn't felt like that in a long time. Since she was 16 to be exact. But after meeting her new brother Logan and finding out her mother was pregnant with a fiancé she hadn't met yet- Blair's life turned upside down once again. Leaving her confused once more and wondering if this was her mothers way of replacing Kendrick, Eric and Blair. She shouldn't have been thinking like that. But anyone mourning would have had their mind jumbled up like that if it had happened to them. "Boo!" Rey, Blair's only male best friend had yelled as he used his hands in a claw like motion to grab onto Blair's shoulders and scare the day-dreaming Blair. Blair let out a scared yelp, which attracted the eyes of onlooking pedestrians as they made their way home from school by many ways. It went back to normal after Blair turned around to grab Rey's shoulders and ask what was wrong with him in the most scared and loud tone she could possibly let out after that terrifying experience. Blair felt as if she'd aged 100 years and had lost all energy. Or as if her heart was about to be ripped out of her chest. It was now currently palpitating at 90mhp, or so it seemed to Blair as she grasped hold of her chest after hitting Rey's slightly muscular arm in retaliation. Rey grumbled at Blair's attitude- even though it was purely his fault that he decided to scare her while she was zoning out. From behind the scenes stood Rey's girlfriend Clementine Ross. A young and talented 18 year old girl. Whose short navy tinged black hair was curled and her dark green eyes behind some fashionable yet nerdy looking glasses which she used only for reading, writing and watching movies. Clem stood wearing some hipster slash alternative clothes which consisted of a lot of black and dark maroon. Beside Clem stood her best friend (and slightly annoying cheerleader type of student) Mackenzie Denver. She was tall yet wore 9inch heels which made her tower over most boys. Her long ginger dyed hair was kept in her natural tight curls while her dark brown eyes always had her long eyelashes to flutter over. She was mostly dressed in the most high-end fashion. Sometimes wearing Gucci and Channel to school. Rey Bailey might be Blair's only male best friend but he doesn't act like it, and although Blair has many friends of the opposite sex she finds Rey to just be her friend and not her BOY friend: something many confuse. But enough about introductions, this isn't some movie in which the friends of the lead character are needed to make an impact on the story. No. They're here for closure. Because Blair Johnson's escape from the reality that her brother is dead and her mum has constructed a new family is of coarse, her best friends. And although Mackenzie acted more like a bully towards Blair it was only because everyone else slightly babied her due to the accident. Blair was thankful, to whoever spoke to her she always kept a smile, even if it was Mackenzie's silly jokes or slurs. "So tonight? Is everything ready?" Blair asked with a smile towards her friend who had previously nearly killed her of a heart attack. Rey stood with a smug smile plastered on his face as his eyes shone with a glint of mischief. Rey then used his palms to clean the non-existing dust off his shoulders. Blair just stared with no expression, a sigh and then proceeding to do a face-palm with a shake of her head while mumbling incoherent words. "Why can't you just say yes like a normal person?" Blair asked before looking over at Clementine who was scratching the nape of her neck awkwardly while turning to look away from her boyfriends stupidity. Mackenzie was just glancing at Rey with a mixture of both anger and an essence of being dumbfounded. Logan, who had been silently watching all of this broke the silence by asking what was happening that night. Obviously the group wasn't about to ruin the surprise that they had been planning for the past two weeks. After being informed that Logan would be staying over for a weekend, Blair decided she would make Logan Fox's welcoming warm and the best surprise he'd ever have. Meaning; the only surprise he'd have since he was born. All apart from that one time on Christmas when his mother had surprised him with exactly what he had been asking for three months prior. A remote control car, the best one in their local shop. But it was around £50 and although Logan's father was well off- he wasn't going to waste £50 on a piece of plastic and metal made to look like a car. Anyway- when Logan had asked about the events that would be happening that night everyone looked away and decided to act as if what they had said, hadn't been said. "Ah! The shopping!" Blair exclaimed in an out of tune acting voice, she couldn't act but she had made everyone else sway from the topic at hand. Back to being Blair Johnson, the scared, guilty and angry 12 year old who blamed herself for Eric's death. When she had woken up with the noise of the backyard door opening and she had ran down to see Eric standing there with shock and a guilty expression. When sweet filled words and cheery smiles persuaded Blair to remain all of that a secret and go back up to bed. Taking one last look at her brother wave her good bye with a smile as she sat atop the stairs with sleepy eyes and a guilty conscience. Little did little Blair know that that would be the last time she would see Eric, alive at least. She didn't know that in just a few minutes, while she got into her bed and snuggled up to her teddy bear that Eric Johnson was speeding down the highway with friends, stoned out of his mind and that in a few seconds he would be ripped to shreds. Literally and metaphorically. Days later was the funeral. Blair never imagined herself at a funeral until her late 60s or something when her parents tragically die after long years together. Instead...she stood there as she watched her older brother, 18 year old Eric, being slowly lowered into the ground as he was nailed into a mahogany polished coffin. His tombstone with the usual sappy old quote, "a great brother, son and person. Taken too young..."- blah, blah, blah. That was gossip for the next 3 weeks, where locals would chatter about how Eric was too young to die, or how Blair should have said something, that it was the parents fault. The schools fault. His friends fault for letting him drive. Anything to put the blame on someone else other than themselves. Which is exactly what Kendrick had done to Blair and her mother. Bluntly accused them of their treachery, that they were the culprits, the crazy common criminals who had caused Eric's death. But that wasn't the hard earned truth... Kendrick never once believed it was Blair's fault, but he needed a reason to leave, a reason to make his cheating on his wife a normal mourning reason. To leave, disappear into the night with his labelled lover. His radiant romance and forbidden love. Cheating on his wife was the least of Kendrick's problems. Bankruptcy, dept and gambling mixed with an alcohol induced state of mind was the silver platter of it all. His worlds 'pièce de résistance'. And so that's how Blair's parents divorce came about. Not due to Blair's guilty actions, or Eric's death- or even mourning for that fact! It was all because Kendrick cheated, was an alcoholic jerk and all he wanted to do was waste his life away playing money for poker. While Blair's mother May, just wanted peace. Quiet. Anything to make her crashing down world still. Frozen in time, where they were back to being a happy family. Everyone together, well and alive. But reality stared Blair in the face with a hard yearning stare and a grin from ear to ear. It terrified Blair to even think of the possibility of living like her mother. A religious catholic who believed everything happened for a reason. The town called her 'the crazy woman' from down the road. She'll only talk about god. And when death was mentioned- It wasn't great. All Blair wished was for Eric to be back. Or for her leave that wretched town. To escape the rocky-road reality, the rollercoaster that is her life, except this wasn't much like a rollercoaster but more like a boat ride down a waterfall. Just a huge drop until....splat. Death. It seemed that, that was all that Blair could see, hear or speak about. Death was all around her. It's all around us. It's on our clothes and on our hair. We inhale and exhale death. We're surrounded by atoms of dead things. We walk on dead things every single day of our lives until we ourselves are dead. It's a ridiculous and betraying truth, a fact not a myth. A controlling cycle that repeats itself. Going on, and on, and on, and on, and on and on. With no escape. Blair knew she would forever be guilty of how she had acted, blaming herself and wishing to turn back time somehow to make it up to her mum, dad and Eric himself. Apologise for his death. Blood was on her hands that should never have been. She could ever wash it out. Blair could feel it again, as she called a taxi, her bones shuddered in fear. She could feel the cold shock against her spine and her weary hands shake in either anticipation of terror. She didn't know what was wrong. But she wanted whatever it was to stop. And fortunately enough it did. And as if fate could only repeat itself. Once more another tragic accident happened in the town of Greenoak. July 4th 2016- The day that Logan Fox. Blair Johnson. Rey Bailey. Mackenzie Denver and Clementine Ross entered a taxi to make their way to the local supermarket. Except they never came back. What Blair couldn't guess was that this never was about Eric's death. It was just waiting for her own. Passing time. She had felt remorse for years, every day of her life she would feel guilty. But she could have never guessed that "everyday of her life" would be cut so soon by the scissors of death. A group of escape convicts took shelter in a local supermarket- they took hostages and escaped with over £3,000. But they didn't leave without killing everyone in the supermarket. Another tragic accident for a tragic town. Another 5 young people taken too soon. As Blair laid on that cold, hard tiled floor. Blood oozing out of her gut where she had been shot with a shot gun, all she could replay in her mind was the good times. And how much she felt blame for the incident. But even more so with what had just happened, she used her last few impulses of strength to look over to Logan who laid beside her. Tears rolling down his face as he held onto his open chest. Breathing heavily, gasping for air. Blair held his hand, as if she was back to holding Eric, except she knew it wasn't Eric- it was Logan. She tightened her grip on his hand as she used her other hand to grip the gaping hole in her lower abdomen. And with a last few strengths all Blair Johnson could do, what she had waited to do, had been done. She knew she didn't have a lot of time, Logan was already about to shut his eyes for ever- except she kept trying to make him look at her. He did and just as he was about to draw his last breath Blair Johnson said her last words. "I'm sorry....." Quiet. Peace and quiet. It seems as if Blair was never supposed to have a brother. No one knew what would happen that day. No one could guess that deranged thieves and murderers would escape a state prison and take hostage over a small supermarket in an unknown town. No-one knew that 5 young students would be there along with 3 seniors and a family of 4. No-one knew that they would openly shoot at the hostages and run off with products that ranged to over £3,000. No-one knew. "Blair" a mysterious yet familiar males voice let out, Blair could hear it but couldn't make out who or what it was. All she could see was the dark. It was Pitch black. No source of light anywhere. Just a void. A black hole of nothing. But then- a bright holy light erupted, surrounding Blair in a hug of warm and radiant light. As if the gates of heaven had opened. "Welcome home" the same voice stated. And all at once everything was sucked back into the void of darkness. It was still. And quiet once more, but Blair wasn't there....no one was.

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