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chuuyascumsock · 6 months

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I am NOT a Sadist (I am) || Minors DNI

Summary; Sorry, not sorry. I love when there’s hurt feelings with emotional make-up sex :)

Tags; Chuuya Nakahara/Reader, Afab reader, Angst, Mentions Of Depression, Hurt/Comfort, I Totally Projected My Poor Communication Skills Onto The MC, Also Self Sabotaging, But She Gets Better I Swear, I Project A Lot Actually Lmao, Sounds Kind Of Like An Unhealthy Relationship At First But They Fix It, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, They Do Hurt Each Other’s Feelings A Little, Obviously There’s Crying, Pet Names (Baby, Doll, Sweetheart, Sweet Girl, etc.), Mention Of Phone Sex, Handjob, Fingering, Emotional Sex, Make-Up Sex, Creampie, Lowkey Breeding Kink If You Squint, Actually Pretty Vanilla For Once, Pussy Is Chuuya’s Therapy, Classic Missionary, Missionary Accomplished, Why Does No One Talk About Chuuya Going On His Overseas Trips And Leaving His S/O For Months At A Time, I Feel Like It’s Such A Good Angst Idea, My Longest Oneshot Yet Btw At A 5k Wordcount.

The honeymoon phase of your relationship with Chuuya ended quicker than you had anticipated. It felt like a slap in the face in all honesty, unexpecting of what you were really getting into as a normal civilian. Being married to an executive of the port mafia had its many upsides, yet no one really seemed to talk about the downsides and struggles of the mental toll that weighed on your conscience that came with the title as Chuuya’s wife.

Chuuya had always been there when you needed him, and you were grateful that even with his rough exterior and conflict with opening up emotionally he could empathize with your varying issues and emotional outbursts. You tried not to be emotionally high maintenance for the sake of Chuuya already having so much on his plate, and things had seemed to be going well for the time being.

Until he went away for his first overseas trip during your marriage.

It was normal for Chuuya to take overseas trips while you were dating, some lasting a few days to a few weeks at most and during those times you often texted him throughout the day about how much you missed him before calling later on when he was lying exhausted in a hotel room to talk about how both of your days had gone. Of course, it had often led to phone sex, ending with the camera angled against a pillow while your fingers worked in and out of your neglected, needy pussy– your face buried into his pillow and smothering your senses with what was left of his presence in your apartment. And Chuuya would stroke his throbbing length at the sight with languid motions, thumb swiping over his leaking tip as he murmured through the speaker about how he wished he could be there to feel you split open on his cock and fill you up with his cum. And every time he came back from his trips, your relationship seemingly grew stronger from the distance, spending all his free time with you whenever he got the chance.

And then Mori sent him away on a half year mission to Europe and everything seemed to go to shit.

It was different when you had been dating as it was for a few days to some weeks at most, but a six-month excursion made your throat clench and your heart ache with saudade. You tried to keep a positive mindset, yet it was harder as each day had passed and Chuuya grew too tired from the days’ events to even call anymore. Messages on his side grew shorter and dull by the end of the third month, only sending a small good morning and good night text with the occasional ‘I love you’.

Instead of bringing it up or attempting to fix it, you felt a sense of hopelessness and withdrew from him as well, not wanting to burden him with your spamming messages or feelings that could hinder him while dealing with an important mission. You spent the next three months stewing in a depressive state, loneliness eating away at you as you went day to day going to your job and coming back to an empty apartment. You stopped going out with your friends, stopped bothering to take care of yourself– completely ruining your sleeping and eating schedule in the process– leaving you with dark bags under your eyes and slightly paler looking complexion. You had grown so comfortable in Chuuya’s love and had no idea how to handle the situation you were in, fearing of saying something that would upset him.

When Chuuya had come back, he hadn’t noticed the change in your behavior– too tired himself to see the toll his absence had taken on you. But to you, your straining relationship was apparent, and it only fueled your depression as Chuuya spent less time with you when he got back home than he used to when you were dating. He was either working on other missions given by Mori within the area or spent his free time sleeping. You barely felt as if you were married anymore, your relationship seeming more like roommates who rarely ever interacted every passing day.

Your deteriorating mental health was beginning to wear your mind and patience thin, leading to a series of outbursts and fights between the two of you. You’d snap at him with an antagonizing start, and he’d finish with a frustrating end, either leaving to cool off or going to sleep on the couch. You could tell it was getting to him because he confronted you one day after he had mentioned that Mori was thinking about sending him on another grueling months-long overseas mission in America and you gave him the cold shoulder, closing yourself off from him.

“What the hell has been your problem lately, huh? You’ve been acting shitty for the last few weeks and it’s really starting to get on my nerves,” He gripes, crossing his arms over his chest defensively as he leans against the kitchen counter.

“I don’t have a problem, you’re the one starting things,” You tiredly glare at the words in your novel, wanting to read and forget everything falling apart around you, but it’s hard when Chuuya persists.

Chuuya scoffs, “Bullshit, you have this nasty attitude and it's been bothering the hell out of me– so what the hell is your problem?” He repeats, his eyes burning holes into the side of your apathetic expression from across the room.

“Good thing you won’t have to deal with it for long, huh?” You respond flatly, avoiding his question once again. You and Chuuya have always had an issue with things like this due to him being blunt when he was upset about something while you tended to dance around it and drawl the problem on longer than it had to be than if you were to talk about your problems from the start.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” His jaw sets, teeth clenching behind his scowl, “You know it annoys the hell out of me when you say cryptic shit like that— answer my question.” Chuuya’s temper was something no one enjoyed testing and you once feared setting him off, but now you couldn’t find it in you to care whether he blew up on you or not.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your next mission?” You’re metaphorically poking more than just a bear at this point; this is an entire fucking lion you’re sticking your hand into the mouth of– waiting for it to rip you apart.

Chuuya’s steps are heavy as he approaches you with a stern glare, “I’m not leaving until you tell me, I’m tired of these games, [name].”

His words make you snort bitterly as you mock, “Yeah, okay– like you’re not just Mori’s lapdog– at his every beck and call.” You know he’d leave the minute Mori sent a text or called asking where he was.

Chuuya’s face contorts in mild surprise and slight hurt at your words, not expecting you to stoop so low as to refer to him as a lapdog for Mori. “I really don’t know why the fuck you’re acting like this, but it’s seriously pissin’ me off. Can you just tell me what I supposedly did wrong to make you treat me like this? Because last time I checked, I didn’t fuckin’ do anything,” His statement was ironic in the sense that him not doing anything was the problem.

Your nostrils flare with a deep exhale in spiteful amusement, though nothing was amusing about it, because you knew you were going to regret everything you said after the fight was over.

“Of course, you didn’t,” There’s clear sarcasm in your tone, your hands now messing with the pages of your novel mindlessly.

“Why won’t you just talk to me!? I can’t read your mind– how can I fix a problem when you won’t tell me what I did wrong?” He starts to raise his voice in frustration. You can see his fists clenching from the corners of your eyes.

You only remove yourself further emotionally by shutting down completely. It was common for you to go completely non-verbal in any argument, the stress of the conflict physically affecting you in ways that kept you from speaking– like your throat tightening and tongue growing heavy in your mouth. This was another issue between you and Chuuya as he was the type to raise his voice whilst arguing to make himself and his feelings known, the complete opposite of yourself.

An inkling of doubt buries in your chest as you begin to think that maybe you’re not as compatible with Chuuya as you thought you were.

Chuuya notices your silence and he feels his impatience growing, his foot starting to tap against the floor with agitation as his hands fall to rest on his hips, “God dammit, [name], can you just tell me? I’m not in the mood to play detective and try to figure out why you’re playing your fucking games, I have shit to do.”

You find it in you to respond, though it’s weak and filled with animosity, “You always have shit to do.”

An exasperated sigh leaves Chuuya as he stands in front of you, “Is that what this is about? Because I have work? A job? Believe it or not, the mafia isn’t as lenient as to give me a day off, sweetheart,” He says sarcastically, throwing his hands up for emphasis. “Sorry that I have to serve an organization that will literally have my head if god forbid, I even thought about leaving!”

“You don’t even spend time with me anymore when you do have time off,” You rasp, your eyes set on the crumbling pages underneath your fingertips.

“I’m exhausted because I’m constantly working my ass off! Sorry that I can’t do fuck whatever and whenever like you can! Unlike you, I actually work for the things I want instead of sitting around and waiting for it to just fall into my lap!” Your brows furrow at his words, knowing it’s utter bullshit. But it still gets under your skin.

You could easily quit your job and live off of the makings of what Chuuya has— he’s even offered the idea before— but you wanted to keep a sense of independence and to continue to be productive instead of a burden that burns cash. Your conclusion is that it was to get back at your lapdog comment.

“And you know what? You have nothing to fuckin’ complain about because you get everything you want. Are you just bored? Is that why you’re starting shit? Or is it those friends of yours filling your head with bullshit?” He leans over to your eye level, his hands resting above his knees for support with a firm stare into the side of your face as you refuse to make eye contact with him.

You were over this. All of it. You were tired of the tension, the fighting, feeling the way you were.

Which led the next words to slip out from your mouth without a second thought, “I want a break.”

Chuuya’s scowl quickly shifted to a look of pure bewilderment, to immense hurt and slight panic, then to anger, “A break? You can’t just take a break whenever something doesn’t go your way, that’s not how this works.”

“I don’t care, I want a break,” It’s getting difficult to talk again as you feel your eyes begin to water.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that,” He demands, almost hesitantly.

It takes minutes for you to finally look into his piercing gray eyes without crying and repeat your words, “I want a break.”

His body straightens and he brings a hand to rub at his eyes, his other hand on his hip. He seems disappointed and a whole lot of other emotions, but mostly frustrated at this whole ordeal. There’s a deafening silence before he drags his hand down his face and lets it fall to his side, “You want a break? Fine, I’ll tell Mori I’m going on the mission then and be gone by tomorrow morning— you’ll get your break.” He then storms off to finish getting ready for work, leaving you to sit alone on the couch, regretting everything that just happened.

And even when you still have the chance to stop him from walking out the door and just talk to him, you don’t. Instead, you stare down at the ring on your finger numbly, listening to his heavy footfalls as they move towards the front door and then the slamming that follows when he leaves.

You soon break down crying after, feeling as if you’ve lost everything. You know you could easily fix it with a simple text of wanting to talk things out, but the self-sabotaging nature in you refused to move a muscle. You cry for hours until your body grows exhausted, and you fall asleep on the couch in a tangled mess of some throw blankets and decorative pillows.

Hours later, Chuuya enters your shared apartment quietly, taking his hat off as he runs a hand through his hair. He’s tired just as much as you are with how things are going in your relationship, and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s lost and trying so desperately to figure out how to fix it, but he can’t when you won’t tell him what the problem is. He knows you struggle deep down with telling others about how you feel, and it makes him feel hopeless at times when you won’t even tell him how you feel.

His eyes trail over the living room before they fall on you and the blankets your body is buried under, your sleeping face peeking through. Chuuya takes light steps over to the couch before crouching in front of you and taking off one of his gloves, his hand slowly reaching out to move a few baby hairs away from your face. His eyes soften when he rubs away the tear stains on your cheeks with his thumb.

There’s a small ache in his chest from the events and words exchanged earlier, feeling a growing tightness in his throat. He didn’t mean it when he said those things and he knows you didn’t mean what you said. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt any less.

He begins to feel guilt weighing on his consciousness. He replays all your expressions and words in his mind and starts to think about your reaction to the whole reason the fight started in the first place. It takes a few moments of him silently sitting next to the couch and caressing your face mindlessly until he finally realizes what’s been wrong the whole time.

When you wake up hours later, you’re no longer on the couch, but placed comfortably in your bed. You rub the crust from your eyes and feel a heavy weight in your chest like a bag of stones when the spot next to you is void of Chuuya. ‘He actually left,’ You thought, but you knew you had no one to blame but yourself— even if you had hoped that he would stay. Now fully awake, you slip out of bed sluggishly and shuffle out your bedroom.

A faint voice from the living room catches your attention and you notice that it’s the TV. There’s a small spark of hope that flickers in your stomach as you slowly creep into the living room. Relief settles in your heart to see the back of Chuuya’s head peeking from the couch. You make your way around the couch timidly until you’re in Chuuya’s sights. He stares tiredly at the TV before he sees you move into his view from the corner of his eye and looks over to you.

“I… thought you were going to go on the mission…” You whisper, anxiously twisting and fidgeting with the end of your oversized shirt that slightly hangs off your shoulders.

“I had Mori get someone else to do it,” Chuuya responds quietly, his eyes traveling your figure from top to bottom before propping an arm on the backrest of the couch as a silent invitation for you to sit next to him.

As soon as you sit next to him, his arm shifts until his callous hand rests on the nape of your neck, rubbing at your skin in a soothing manner. He pulls you into his side after a few moments and turns his face slightly to press a soft kiss against your hairline.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” He starts off, sincere in each word as he continues, “Why didn’t you say anything?” It sounds almost rhetorical because you know he knows why on a surface level, but he doesn’t know why.

You’re silent for a bit before hesitantly answering, “I didn’t want to stress you out by making you feel like you had to constantly tend to me.”

“You’re my wife, not a burden. No matter how stressed out I am, I don’t want you to ever think that you can’t come to me with your feelings or just to bother me. I know I was gone for a long time, and I shouldn’t’ve become as distant as I had, but–” He sighs out in exasperation, “–Baby, you’ve gotta communicate with me. I don’t wanna fight like this and worry about our marriage. I want us to work out– I need us to work out because…” Chuuya trails off before moving his body to turn towards you and tilt your chin up with his other hand to look you in the eyes.

“I need you, [name]. You’re my person. Okay?”

Your chest throbs and aches at his words as his slate gray eyes flicker over your face and then meet your now watering eyes, “You’re my person too, Chuuya. I’m sorry…” You croak out through quivering lips and break down into tears, leaning forward to bury your face into his chest. “M’sorry– didn’t mean anything I said last night– won’t do it again,” You stumble over your words through muffled sobs.

Chuuya moves his hand from your chin to hold the back of your head, pressing you into his chest as he kisses the top of your head, “I know you didn’t, sweetheart. I didn’t mean what I said either. You know I love you, right?”

You nod, your small sobs and hiccups muted by his loose tank top as you hug your arms around his torso to pull him to you as close as possible, “I love you too…”

He pulls you back reluctantly from your embrace and cups your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs, “I promise that I’ll make an effort to be a better husband, I don’t want you to feel like that ever again. I shouldn’t have neglected you like that and made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me. That’s the last thing that I want.”

“I’m gonna do better too, promise,” You sniffle, trying to hold back from anymore tears falling down your face, “Wanna be better for you.”

“I wanna be better for you too, doll,” He murmurs before his face grows closer to yours to place a soft, innocent kiss against your lips.

Your hands come to clasp over his own that cup your face and your eyes lull into his fond gaze, “I missed you,” You whisper with longing.

“I missed you too, baby. It killed me not being able to wake up next to you every morning n’see your pretty face,” He exhales gently, kissing you again.

Your heart stutters at his words and you reciprocate the kiss, refusing to pull away as quickly as before. When your lashes flutter open, you lean your face into his touch, “I need you, Chuuya,” And it’s clear to him that it wasn’t meant in just an innocent manner.

“Yeah? Missed me that much, sweet girl?” His nose nudges against yours affectionately before capturing your lips into a sensual kiss. Feeling his lips smother against yours and the ring on his finger to remind you of his undying love and devotion to you only encourages the simmering heat in your chest and lower stomach. And when he mumbles a muffled, “C’mere,” against your lips, you’re quick to climb into his lap and thread a hand into his ginger hair. He hums in amusement at your eagerness and moves his lips to trail pecks along your jaw and down your throat, “Always were so needy f’me and I fuckin’ love it– love everything about you, doll.” He groans under his breath, hands heavily groping at any part of your plush body to keep you against him.

“Only for you, it’s always been you,” You breathe out with a shaky exhale and Chuuya is unable to hide the small whimper that escapes the back of his throat.

“Fuck, it’s always been you too, doll. I love you so much it hurts,” He pulls you back down into a desperate and hungry open-mouthed kiss, his tongue seeking out until his muscle is entangling with yours.

Your face flushes with warmth as you mold your lips against his feverishly, head tilting to deepen the kiss until you’re both panting for air into each other’s mouths, “Please…” You plead, squirming in his lap.

“I know, babydoll, I feel it too,” Chuuya groans quietly, feeling your thinly clothed pussy skim over the bulge in his gym shorts. “Wanna take this slow though, need to feel all of you, okay?” His hands cup the bottom of your thighs as he moves off the couch to stand up, your lips not parting for even a second as he makes his way to your bedroom and over to the bed. When his shins bump against the bottom frame of the bed, he leans over to lay you down on the mattress gently, lips leaving yours to move back down the expanse of your neck. You shiver, fingers messily tangling into his locks of hair whilst your other hand finds its way in between your bodies to run your hand over his erection. “F-Fuck,” Chuuya breathes out against the skin of your throat, hips jerking forward into your touch. “God, it’s been so long, I almost came,” He admits with embarrassment before latching onto a small patch of your skin to suckle at, pressing kisses to the spot occasionally.

“Baby, please— wanna touch you so bad,” Was all you had to whine before he slips his baggy gym shorts off to reveal his stiff, throbbing cock. Your hand wraps around him, thumb pressing to his leaking slit to swipe at the precum dribbling out to spread it along his length with a few pumps of your hand. There’s a quiet “schlick” each time your wrist flicks to draw your hand back up to his angry mushroom tip before moving back down to the base of his shaft.

Chuuya is unashamed when he lets out airy moans against your neck that’s now littered with his love marks, “Shit, you’re s’fuckin’ good, baby— just like that.” His right hand finds its way under your large shirt to grab at your underwear and pull at it until it tears off you.

“Chuuya,” You whine in complaint, watching him toss the now torn fabric onto the floor, “I liked those.”

“S’okay, I’ll get you more, sweetheart, promise,” His teeth dig into his bottom lip as he slips his middle and ring finger through your folds to spread your glistening sex open. “Look at how fucking wet you are, you like jerkin’ me off that much, pretty girl?” He groans, eyes glued to your hole clenching around nothing.

You bury your face into the crook of his neck timidly as your hand pumping around his cock falters slightly from the way he talks, “C-Chuuya…”

Chuuya chuckles before softly moaning into the side of your head, face nuzzling affectionately into your hair, “C’mon, doll, don’t be shy, look at how your sweet little cunt takes my fingers.”

Flustered, you peek from his neck to watch his digits dip into your arousal, dragging them up to circle over your clit a few times and then slipping down to sink into your pulsing walls. Whilst his fingers weren’t considered long, they have you twitching from pleasure with how thick they are. “Feels good,” You slur out as your hand squeezes around the base of his cock.

“Yeah? You love it when I stretch this pussy out with my fat fingers, huh?” He sucks in a short breath as he tries not to come right then and there in your hand as he fingers his digits in and out of your squelching pussy. “My sweet girl likes having her hole stuffed by her husband, hm,” His fingers work faster in and out of your cunt as he angles his thumb to draw rough circles into your needy clit.

Your grip and stroking around his length only continues to falter as your thighs spasm softly, “M’gonna come— fuck— Chuu, noo, no, no…” You squirm, your other hand tugs his hair.

“What’s wrong, doll?” Chuuya’s fingers slow to a stop, causing you to whimper from the ebbing buildup of your orgasm. He’s the same as you when he feels your hand come to a stop around his shaft.

“Wanna come on your cock,” You mumble into him, “Want you to fill me up with your cum.”

Chuuya feels his heart thrum in his throat wildly as he hears you speak before making quick work of your shirt and his tank top until you're both as bare as you were when you were brought into the world. “Yeah? Need me to fill your cute pussy up until my cum is spilling outta ya?” He hovers over you between your spread thighs as he hooks your legs over his hips.

“Just wanna feel you close to me,” You admit with a sweet and quiet voice, your legs drawing him in until his throbbing cock is rubbing between your pussy lips with his tip nudging at your puffy clit.

His eyes widen barely before softening, his movements becoming less erratic and eager as he leans down to place a gentle kiss against your lips. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, doll, m’gonna take care of ya like I always do.” He whispers, his right hand moving to guide the tip of his cock against the entrance of your core. Much like his fingers, his thick length bullies into your warm pussy slowly, stretching and splitting you open on his cock. “Fuuuuck, baby, you take me so well. Can’t get enough of seeing you stretch open on me.”

Your legs tighten around him as you feel his hips press against yours until his balls are flush with your ass, “You’re s’big— it hurts every time, but it hurts good,” A small whimper leaves you as your hands grip at the bedsheets.

When Chuuya pulls away, he watches his cock twitch from the loss of warmth your tight hole provided before seeing it stretch you back open to fill you. “God, I’ll never get over you,” He hisses through his teeth, pistoning his cock in and out of you at an agonizing pace, “Your pussy was made for me.”

Chuuya’s gaze isn’t on where your bodies connect for long before he’s back to hovering over you, pinning your hands above your head. They’re placed palm up on top of one another before being locked in place with his left hand interlocking your fingers. The action makes your heart tighten with affection as well as your fingers when you squeeze his hand. The subtle noise of metal clinking from your wedding bands only makes your heart swell with pure unadulterated love for him further. Your eyes start to water again from the overwhelming emotions and love you feel for him.

He squeezes your hand back in comfort, eyes studying your teary face, “You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that, doll?” He says out of nowhere, “M’so lucky to have you.”

You clench around him as you stare back through blurry eyes back into his focused ones, moaning from the way his tip kisses at your g-spot with each thrust. “Mm— Lucky to have you too— you’re so good to me, Chuu,” You mewl out, feeling your stomach twist and coil with intensity.

“Want you to come for me, please, baby— wanna make you come,” Chuuya’s words grow more pitchy and airier as he reaches his right hand down to rub at your throbbing clit with vigor.

“A-Ah, fuck—“ Your body arches, hips erratically bucking into his, “C-Coming..! Shit, s’too much.” You sob, tears slipping down your temples and into the mattress. Your cries are soon silenced by Chuuya’s lips swallowing your noises in a passionate, yet sloppy kiss. You muffle incoherently against his lips, but he knows it’s a repeated line of I love you’s as your nails dig into the back of his hand and you cream around his length.

As your walls spasm around his twitching cock, a guttural groan leaves his throat and he spills his hot, viscous cum deep into your starving pussy until it’s leaking out of your tight hole and down his balls. “Atta girl…” He murmurs through pants, kissing your sweaty forehead lovingly.

“I love you,” You repeat gently one last time as you both relish in the softness of your afterglow.

“I love you too,” Chuuya sighs with a ghost of a smile on his face as he admires you underneath him, hand coming down from your hands to wipe away your stray tears, “Promise me you won’t go anywhere, doll? Cause I’ve still got years of loving you left to go.”

#chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya smut #chuuya nakahara smut #bsd x reader #bsd smut #devious dambi smuts

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somewhereincairparavel · 29 days

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🐚 Daughter of Neptune headcanons list 🌊 part one..

Note: I've never done a pjo hcs post like this with the aesthetic pictures and everything- but I've been Itching to make a daughter of Neptune one, since I consider myself as a Neptune child. So this is sort of a self insert haha, and I thought it'd fun cuz I have so many hcs abt this, I've only over seen ppl do a daughter of Poseidon one.

Also this one has reader x Jason Grace as romantic pairings, but it isn't the main focus. Like I said, this is a self insert, and I love my bb jason ;) + imagine having Percy as a big brother, goals fr

• Okay so you'd come to Camp Jupiter at the age of 8-9, so you definitely have a considerable amount of childhood before you came to camp. Which only made it harder for you to adapt to the barbaric ways the Roman camp worked.

• Also, Since Neptune was not a very respected Roman god, your arrival was considered bad luck. Octavian made you go through an intense trial (that motherfucker was like 10 years old and an augur, and was already such a bitch lol) + forced a newly elected praetor Reyna (who was also just 10 at the time) to hold a senate meeting before you were even offered a position at camp.

• Neptune is very feared by the romans though, since he represented the harsh brutality of the ocean, so you got the Roman Nico di Angelo treatment from camp. Everyone was scared of you, flinched when you walked passed them. this was to your advantage tho, since you never got bullied, mostly out of fear.

• so Neptune temples in Camp Jupiter are only taken care of by you, if you left for a quest or something then the shrines would be in such a horrible state, bc no one cares enough to offer Neptune anything or even clean up his shrine. You'd do the cleaning and offering.

• and the worst part? Your dad wouldn't even notice you even after your efforts.

• okay, your powers are quite similar to Percy's butt I feel like since Roman/Greek siblings always have powers that compliment eachother, you'd have better control over the earthly side of the domain. Like you can cause longer earthquakes, control seismic waves, and make volcanos erupt + cause bigger avalanches, Stuff like that.

• Your water control was actually a little limited, up until Percy arrived and helped you enhance your powers. And you helped enhance his control over earthquakes, since his earthquakes usually only lasted for a few seconds, his dad is more water dominant. So when you met him, you knew he was a missing puzzle piece in your life. You'd even be able to communicate telepathically to Percy underwater, a power you both never knew you needed.

• Seriously tho it would be hilarious to look at, bc to the others, you both sound like squeaky dolphins but in reality you are just telepathically speaking with one another. The others wouldn't understand, and poor Frank would be so confused as to why you both are making strangled fish noises

Leo would troll you guys so bad for this lol

• your eyes would actually be black. Not blue, not sea green, just black. Your eyes would literally glitter like black obsidian rocks. because Poseidon is the calm side of ocean, hence sea green eyes for Percy, Neptune is the dark and scary side of the ocean, so that's black eyes for you. that difference would clearly reflect in your guys's eye colours AND personality (I'll expand on this more in part 2)

• but your scariness comes with a downside, you had no friends. No friends, except Jason and Reyna. it's just your dad's naturally strict aura surrounding you that makes your overall personality a Lil grumpy and moody tbh. You did have such a resting bitch face that wasn't helping either.

• Jason, being the noble boy he was, knew you were going to be his friend the moment you made a dramatic entrance to camp for the first time, getting scouted by the waves to New Rome. He knew what it was like to have a powerful, scary dad, but he acknowledged and empathized that you had it harder than he did. He was considered a golden boy, while you were considered a scary bad luck charm. But regardless of that, Jason was your first best friend. And eventually, your boyfriend.

• Reyna on the other hand, badly wanted to befriend you because she admired your mental strength, you were 9 years old and you were openly scoffed at by the legionnaires simply because your father was a scary man. Yet you handled it all so well. But she befriended you a little later than Jason did. Since she was so busy, she barely had any time to chat with anyone. You, Jason and Reyna bonded as a trio when you guys had your first quest.

• Reyna secretly shipped you and Jason from the very beginning lol, bc a Jupiter x Neptune union? Y'all were powerful and cute af together. The mutual pining drives her crazy though, like kiss already smh.

• Also, Nicknames! Your nickname was ALWAYS "kelp head" because your hair was wavy and shaped like seaweed lol. As much as you hated to admit it, the name fit a little too well.

• okay enough with the friendship stuff, let's talk about how much that bastard Octavian makes it his mission to make your life a hellhole. It isn't even funny anymore, he hated you from the very beginning. Not only because you were considered bad luck, it's because he envied that you were a direct descendant of such a powerful God, he couldn't even handle Jason's arrival, yours was just the last straw for him. He opposes your opinions in front of the whole senate + prevents you from getting elected as Centurion + attempts to prevent you from going on quests, bc he can't handle someone else taking the glory.

• He was also the reason you were put into the unpopular twelfth legion. The underdog legion. But Jason? That sweetheart made it worth being in the twelfth legion so you weren't complaining tbh.

• honestly? Octavian and you are famous in camp for your bickering though lol it's just always a back and forth between you and him, such burning rivalry and enmity. You LOVED roasting him and you were fucking great at it too. He deserved that for making you go though hell. You'd laugh like a maniac when he trips and he smirks when has the upper hand against you in senate discussions.

• Reyna is the only reason you both didn't beat eachother up at this point tbh

• once, Reyna came running up to you all panicky because Octavian went missing from camp. In response, you beamed and told her that you'd get the balloons ready in the dining hall for a grand celebration. Jason would burst out laughing lol.

• you'd steal his teddy bears and give them to younger campers, asking them to hide it from octavian. So the younger campers absolutely adore you, unlike the older ones.

• you are also quite the rebel in camp, JUST like Octavian predicted you would be, when you first came to camp. It was actually written in his auguries that the new child of Neptune arrival would be always shafting the rules, since the sea can't be controlled. It's in a nature for a Neptune child to walk their own pace (lol have you seen Percy??) That gave another reason for him to hate you.

• Even some of the lares in CJ would call you an abnormal roman bc you never acted like one. You were wild and temperamental.

This rule breaking tendency you had did earn you lots of punishments that included scrubbing the whole camp with a toothbrush. But it was worth it for you. Camp Jupiter sucked. And you were already in trouble, so what's a little more, right?

• you'd sneak out at night to explore New Rome, because again, the Romans had this weird bedtime curfew like. they have rules for every. Fucking. Thing. It pissed you off so bad. They wouldn't even let you explore the city at night? They were seriously wasting the beauty of the city, You'd definitely rope Jason in to break the rules with you. Like don't be such a goody two shoes smh. I feel like that's what attracted him to you in the first place. He's a goody goody boy with such a boring life, youd just make it interesting for him.

• besides, sneaking out is SO much easier when you can fly. So Jason is your personal airplane. The Jason Grace airlines.

• okay so after all your hardwork in the legion, you'd finally get elected to Centurion, after you successfully finished a quest to retrieve a lost Roman artifact, which was formerly Jason's position and he would become a co praetor with Reyna. But you were still very much disrespected in camp tbh, it just became an internalised thing for everyone to hate you at this point, Octavian was also great at putting your reputation under dirt, but you didn't really care anymore.

• now here comes the catch, Jason and you were sort of in a half-pining half-relationship situation, Before that jerk goes missing. because neither of you knew how to confess, and camp was SO strict when it came to relationships for some reason?? Like even dating has to be lowkey.

• you and Jason are totally the grumpy x sunshine trope lol except you're the grumpy, snippy and batshit one and jason is calm, levelheaded and optimistic one.

Perfect balance. Gosh your dynamic would be so cute :(

• you'd just be grumpily stomping around while jason stalks behind you, laughing lightly. You're super short compared to him aswell, so yeah it makes it funnier.

• You were in charge of welcoming Hazel to camp, since Jason and Reyna had some serious meeting stuff about the new prophecy Octavian told them about.

• poor hazel would be scared to death while meeting you, not just bc it's you, it's bc she just came back from the dead, so this is all rlly new for her.

• That's where you met him. Nico di Angelo. You'd bond over your shared mistreatment in camp. So you became homies w him fairly quickly. He saw you as this cool big sister he could have happy meals with talking abt life.

• you would be a little curious when he keeps disappearing off to somewhere tho, you knew he was lying about where he came from.

Okay part 1 of this is done, this was so long lol, part 2 would drop later, that's where you and Percy meet and stuff.

Update: part two is out! https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746489087922520064/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons-list-part-two?source=share

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zebulontheplanet · 6 months

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[Check image ALT]

There are many things wrong with this block of text. From saying autism has no downsides, to saying it makes you have more empathy so you’re trustworthy.

There are multiple things wrong with this so let’s break it down.

There ARE downsides of autism. As a higher support need’s individual, most days there’s more downsides then there are upsides. Yes, I wouldn’t have changed my autism (although some people would), yes, autism is sometimes great! But saying it has no downsides is downplaying the struggles that autistic people face, over and over again. From being assaulted, to ableist comments and treatments, to neglect and abuse, to support needs, to being killed. All of these are downsides of having autism and I’ve not even scratched the surface. You do NOT get to say that autism has no downsides.

The next thing, that autism makes you have more empathy. Are we forgetting about the people with no to low empathy? Are we forgetting about the autistics who experience no empathy due to their autism? Autism can make you hyper-empathic. But it can also make you Hypo-empathetic. There is no doubt about that.

Stop trying to erase that some people don’t experience the same things as you. Stop trying to downplay autism into this cutesy disorder. It’s not cool. Autism affects peoples lives, it makes their lives hard. It makes their lives miserable sometimes.

Autism has taken so much from me. From my ability to make friends, to my ability to effectively communicate. Autism HAS downsides and I can attest to that. Don’t erase the downsides.

#zebrambles #autism #actually autism #actually autistic #won’t say who wrote this #but they know who they are #stop downplaying autism

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bunny-dr34ms · 9 months

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'till we meet again' ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

- g. suguru x f!reader, g.satoru x f!reader

summary. suguru leaves but he leaves you with more than just a goodbye. w.c. 2436

cw/ tw; fem!reader, confessions, heartbreak, self-destructive!reader, grief

features; g.satoru, g.suguru, i.shoko, f.megumi

an; sometimes i just wish just one person was there for suguru. just ONE :( comments, reblogs, and hearts are always appreciated <3 thx for reading !! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

What did we fight for? What did I fight for? Those questions constantly rang in your head as your life continued after the failed Star Plasma Vessel mission. You're sure it was the same for the other two. Perhaps Satoru knows he has no choice but to keep going. He's so much stronger now that he does everything alone. Group missions became like playdates for him. Maybe Suguru...well Suguru was always more benevolent than your other classmate so you were a little less worried. Suguru was just less rash and more stable, so no one worried about him. And you? You weren't part of the mission and you continued to train so at least your missions won't fail. That's just how it is for jujutsu sorcerers. You were nothing special. Nothing strong like Suguru and nothing unique like Shoko and definitely not a prodigy like Satoru. Your mentality made you all the more weak. You cry easily, you empathize easily, and you were too kind and too forgiving. They tell you girls have to be even stronger to survive as a sorcerer but you couldn't help it. In such a sad and unforgiving world, can't you at least feel as you wanted and forgive as you wanted? Your technique consisted of being able to control anything with your cursed energy--dirt, water, limbs, corpses--anything. The downside was you had to learn how to control each thing separately so you spent your days infusing random things on the field with cursed energy. All the time you spent at Jujutsu Tech training and running mission after mission meant seeing Satoru more often. If he wasn't at a mission, he was back reporting to the elders. Sometimes you'd greet him when you pass each other, you leaving the elders, him just walking in. No matter how worn he looked, he always still gave you a smile which you'd secretly blush about every time you thought about it. You began to look a little more forward to meetings with the elders but your mind was just on Satoru. Sometimes, you made small talk with him. You'd ask if he's eaten or what mission he came back from. Occasionally he'd walk with you to your destination before teleporting back to the elders. All the little things he did consumed your mind. In a matter of months, you were always feeding your little crush on Satoru and the world seemed a little better than before. But that didn't last long.

One day, the news of Suguru mascaraing a village of 100 people and fleeing Jujutsu Tech as a newly announced criminal reached you. All the memories of seeing Suguru around school flooded your brain. His clouded eyes, his forced smiles, and the way his questions got crazier and crazier. Why didn't you check up on him. Why didn't you offer to train with him? You saw all the signs, so why did you just watch him wave goodbye to you each time. Why were you so wrapped up in Satoru that you didn't worry for him too?

First came the shock, then denial, then tears, and then the worry for the rest of your friends. Especially Satoru. You knew, no, every one knew that they were all each other had in this world where only strength mattered. As you expected, Satoru was nowhere to be found and when you saw him on a random day, he walked straight passed you with a blank face. Tight white bandages wrapped around his head but you could tell he had been crying with the redness of his nose. You wanted to stop him and ask if he was alright but by the time you made up your mind he was far behind you.

Days pass and you bump into Suguru in front of a crowded crepe shop. Coincidently, it's the same shop you would bother them into making a stop there before every mission. Suguru smiles and waves and you almost drop to your knees at the sight of him. He says he just saw Satoru and cracks a joke about how he isn't taking it so well. Words can't describe how badly you wanted to run and hug him and cry and apologize. The only thing that chained your feet to the ground was how brightly he smiled. He smiled like he had a purpose, as if he was about to go on an adventure he waited his life for.

He tells you how he saved 2 little girls who were locked away like criminals for being able to see curses. You nod as you hold back tears, your hands clenched into tight fists. There’s relief when you hear about the girls because it means Suguru is still kind. The Suguru you know is still there. Then his next words shattered your already broken heart.

"Take care of Satoru for me 'kay? He pretends he's all that but he's just like you and me. But you know that already. I see how you look at him. I looked at you the same way, you know. Thanks, Y/n. You gave me a reason to hold on for so long."

He last request and his confession made you run to him. Whatever you bought was forgotten by his feet as your hands reached for him. He didn't pull away or reciprocate your hug when your arms wrapped around him. All he did was sigh and place a hand on your head, the action was the last push your heart needed. You started to babble apologies and pleads through your sobs, pulling him tighter, tighter, tighter, until his arms pulled you away from him.

Suguru gives you one last, sad smile. He picks up the crepes and hands it back to you. "Why're you crying so hard? You'll make me feel bad", he laughs. He laughs as if he wasn't leaving you to deal with all this heartache alone. All you could do was stand there as anger, grief, sadness, heartbreak, and self-disappointment enveloped you. All you could do was watch his back as he walked away with an arm waving. Your wails drawn odd gazes from other people but past the whispers and your own crying, you could just make out his last words to you.

"Till we meet again."

That night you cried alone. You could've saved him. You asked yourself if this was how Satoru felt, terribly alone and guilty for letting down someone so dear to him. Satoru. You were so caught up with your crush on him that you didn't notice Suguru's frequent glances in your direction. Or how his eyes saddened when you ran up to Satoru instead of him every time. Or how he'd always be the one walking behind you, assisting you in every mission.

To Suguru, you were the bright sun of his days and the comforting moon of his nights. The way you trained hard to master each random item moved him to keep training. He hated every thing about ingesting the curses and it made him sick more often than not. You'd notice and bring or make him snacks so he wouldn't go on an empty stomach and a bad taste in his mouth. Whenever you passed out from overexerting yourself, he'd reinforce his resolve to get stronger so you wouldn't need to work as hard. Oh and he loves the sound of your giggles. It was truly like music to his ears. The girlish ring and the childish squeals and how you'd double over wheezing with tears in your eyes. He adored it because it was you. He hated every thing about the jujutsu world but for you, he'd fight every sorcerer, absorb every curse, just to make it better for you. Just so you can laugh like that every day without a worry.

You think back to him and suddenly you remembered all the details of your time spent with him. He'd blush when you handed him the cookies you made just for him. He'd offer to go with you on your solo missions even though it meant he had to double up. He did all that and so much more, yet you still failed to notice him. Even leading up to it all, you still didn't reach out, though by then he had long given up his love for you. The loss of Suguru and your shortcomings sent you spiraling. You ignored calls and stayed in your room all day. You barely ate and you stayed up until you physically couldn't keep your eyes open anymore. Shoko would call and text you and you never picked up or responded. Slowly, they faded away from once a day to once a week to once in a while. You would take hour long showers where you sit on the floor and cry until you can't. Some nights you'd think you heard his voice outside calling you but every time you go out, it's just the night silently staring back at you. There are times you go out in search of him but you end up breaking down and dragging yourself back. This went on for months. Eight, if you counted. It was at the end of the last month that Satoru called you. Your crush for him had dissipated from Suguru's absence and you were sure it hit him harder than it did you. The two were like true blood brothers that would live and die by and for each other. When you saw the call, you wonder if Satoru knew about what Suguru said to you. Ah. Suguru's request. No, it wasn't possible for you to take care of Satoru. How could you when he was such a painful reminder of Suguru and when you were decaying yourself. His first call goes by and he calls again. And then again. You tell yourself you'll pick up if he calls just one more time but there was already rapid knocks on your door.

"Y/n. I know you're in there." His familiar voice rings out as he knocks again. You haul yourself out of bed to open the door and there stood Satoru. He was staring down at you, his frown deepening as he took in your appearance. "Ah..sorry you had to see me like this." Your voice was weak and foreign to your ears. You haven't spoken or seen anyone in those months. Satoru walks towards you and you want to shut the door on him but he's slips past you and in the room before you make the decision. He walks around opening the blinds and windows. So he knew you were just holed up in complete darkness for a while. Once he was satisfied with the brightness of the room he sprawls out on your bed. Silence passes and you just stare at him lying on your bed face up. His head turns to face you, his glasses askew and you find yourself looking into his eyes. He's changed. He's changed in the same way you have but he doesn't have the luxury of being able to stand in his sadness. Guilt creeps on your skin. Suguru didn't ask anything else of you but to take care of Satoru. Looks like Satoru's come to take care of you. "You know. He told me to take care of you Y/n" Satoru mumbled, "He told me that you had a heart too kind for our world." A lump builds in your throat and your feet moves on their own. You take a seat next to Satoru's body, your breath shaking as you gathered yourself. "Suguru told me to do the same. For you. He told me to take care of you too." The words quietly slip into the air and Satoru swallows thickly at his name. Silently you hope that his name doesn't become taboo like all the other exiled curse users. At least his name, at least you can say his name and your memories of him to remember him by. The boy next to you looks back up at the ceiling and laughs, "Seems like neither of us listened to him huh." You haven't heard yourself laugh or even let yourself smile since Suguru left. "You're wrong," you think, "You're here taking care of me right now." Satoru's laughs die down and he sits up to turn his body towards you. "It's been hard for you I know but-" "It's been harder for you Satoru." He sits there frozen, making you feel bad that you cut him off. "I-I'm really sorry I-" Satoru pulls you into him, holding you tightly. His exhale is erratic as he strokes your hair. "No..no don't be sorry. I should be the one who's sorry." He knows you and he knew, hell he was warned, that you'd spiral like this but he couldn't bring himself here. Now look at you, all sad and torn but caring about others nonetheless. "I'm sorry," he continues, "I'm sorry for not coming to see you sooner." 'I'm sorry for not coming to see you sooner.' That's what you should be saying. 'I'm sorry for being so pathetic and weak and making you worry about me' is what you think. Nothing, is what you say. Instead you're swallowing your sobs and letting tears flow as you grip Satoru's uniform tightly. He pulls away and wipes your tears with one hand, the rough feeling of his thumb tingles. He coos with a small smile, "Aw look at you. Still such a crybaby." You laugh a little, sniffles following shortly after. He laughs when you laugh. Slowly, the past few months of suffering melt away from you with each exchange with Satoru. Neither of you were fully healed but you both needed each other. Suddenly, Suguru's words echoes in your head. Will you really be able to see him again? Satoru combs his fingers through your hair as he softly talks about what he's been doing the past few months. Past your thoughts you hear about his decisions to be a teacher, the Zenin clan, and this little boy named Megumi. You wonder, will you really be able to see him again? Yes, you think. You trust Suguru. You trust his words. Satoru's finger brushes against your cheek softly and you smile, letting yourself melt into his arms with your head leaning against his chest. The butterflies revive in your stomach with each caress and giggle you share with him.

For now, you'll focus on yourself and Satoru. You’ll get yourself together and get back on missions and training. You’ll work on being a teacher with Satoru and getting Megumi. You’ll keep living every day until the day comes again where he keeps his words to you. Yes. Till we meet again, Suguru.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu geto #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk drabbles #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru #geto x you #geto x y/n

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 5 months

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you know. the term “gaslighting” is being misused so much that it's difficult to figure out if a person is referring to actual gaslighting, or if they're talking about any kind of manipulation or even just a white lie. with the rise of awareness for mental health, the unfortunate downside is that people label everything with psychological terms and spread misinformation. the term “gaslighting” has lost its original meaning and has turned into a sort of buzzword.

it's obvious that this happens in media analyses too, where people are quick to label any kind of undesirable behaviour as “gaslighting”. however, the only exception to this that i've seen so far is catra.

to refresh your memory (or lend you some new information), here's the definition of gaslighting, according to the APA:

To gaslight someone means to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events.

“I think of gaslighting as trying to associate someone with the label 'crazy',” says Paige Sweet, Ph.D., an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who studies gaslighting in relationships and in the workplace. “It’s making someone seem or feel unstable, irrational and not credible, making them feel like what they’re seeing or experiencing isn’t real, that they’re making it up, that no one else will believe them.”

when we say catra gaslit adora in the show, we mean it. we don't mean that catra just lied to adora or manipulated her (both of which she has done, to her credit).

some common phrases that gaslighters use are along the lines of:

“you're crazy”

“you're just imagining it”

“it's all in your head”

“you're just being dramatic”

“you're making things up”

this ensures that the victim believes that they are the problem and starts questioning their own sanity. if it continues for too long, the victim might actually be driven to a mentally unstable state.

let's see some of these examples with catra, shall we?

she says all of this word for word. they don't even try to disguise it. and we already know that catra remembered everything or almost everything, at this point. she was not only playing dumb when adora questioned her about it, but further went on to make adora believe that she was going crazy and that she was making everything up.

she also attempts to gaslight scorpia later on, and make her admit that entrapta betrayed them when that is not what happened, and scorpia was there to witness what actually happened.

(i am a bit hesitant to call this “gaslighting” because catra doesn't call scorpia crazy or anything like that, however, she does imply that scorpia was making things up about entrapta trying to save them from the portal.)

and people still have the gall to say that catra never gaslit adora or worse„ that she only did it because she wanted adora to stay. there's no excuse to abuse, manipulation and gaslighting. you can't just woobify an abuser by saying “oh but she just wanted her crush to stay with her 🥺” that's just gross. catra fans say that they empathize with abuse victims but their empathy starts and ends with catra. adora's trauma doesn't matter to them in the slightest, which is why they keep romanticizing this shit.

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ablednt · 2 years

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Okay but when are we gonna ditch the empath "special little star with too much love" narrative for hyperempathy cause as someone with fluctuating but often hyperempathy it absolutely isn't like that and NT empath types hated me and insisted I didn't have real empathy at all cause it never manifested like that unless I was trying to act the part (which was never genuine)

Hyperempathy in autistics often looks like:

-personifying inanimate objects. A lot of autistic people tend to hoard things/struggle to throw things out or get rid of things because we get attached to an object and assume it has feelings like we do.

-Not having a clear grasp on the difference between humans and animals. Example growing up I was really confused when people saw dogs as pets and not being the same as human children cause because other than obvious physical differences I treated them similarly to how I'd treat a human family member. I also felt really bad when i remembered meat used to be an animal when I was a kid and struggled to eat sometimes.

-strong reactions to fictional media/getting more attached to fictional characters than real people. For most of my childhood I was heavily isolated and disconnected from other people who were rarely vulnerable with me so I had nothing about them I could empathize with but fictional characters were accessible and showed clear emotions and I could connect with them for real (this is also why many autistic systems are fictive heavy) but also even when I don't personally connect to a character I tend to get really emotional about anything emotional in a piece of media when I'm having hyperempathy. So I'd cry through a movie and then be like oh lmao idc much abt it afterwards and stuff like that.

-strong reactions to other people's pain that seem (and can genuinely be) misplaced or insensitive. If someone cried around me I'd also start crying I often would react inappropriately to someone else's problem (and then have to take care of those emotions before I can be supportive) in ways that were "making it about me" and seemed really rude or pathetic. This is one of those traits that can be toxic if completely unchecked.

Like hyperempathy doesn't look or act like neurotypical empathy and people with it are just as likely to be labeled low or no empathy by allistics because of this and imo it has just as many downsides as being low empathy does they're both traits that come with benefits and negatives and can be debilitating in some situations.

#actually autistic

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cloudzzz · 1 year

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Someone prooobably did this before, buuuut..

Inanimate Insanity S3 Characters Aura analysis!! (according to episode 6 contestants left!)

YinYang: Gray auras can denote a skeptical outlook, or a person prone to seeing the glass half empty. Opening themselves up to new possibilities is hard and will take effort, but necessary and rewarding

Test Tube: An indigo aura denotes a wise person with an old soul. At times, they escape into their own secret world to protect their energy, minds, and hearts from others.

Balloon: Those with teal auras are empathic and sensitive. At times they can be uneasy of change and nervous to embrace new situations, which may close them off to experiences

Floory: A brown aura often indicates a time of selfishness and insecurity. Seeing a brown aura indicates you're in need of cleansing, or that you need to give more to others instead of taking.

PB: Passions run high with those who have a red aura, as they live by their desires and emotions. Creative to the core, red auras are always manifesting new goals and inspiring themselves through artistic outlets. Red auras can also indicate a moment of pivotal creative changes.

Nickel: Green auras mark a grounded, hard-working person who is a nature lover. They are the builders of the auric color spectrum, which means that they welcome growth. The downside is that they may be prone to jealousy or competition.

Clover: Creativity is key for those who have an orange aura. Their artistry brings peace to them, but only if they can focus on one thing at a time. The minds can be overactive, which means they need to hone in their ideas in order to make them a reality.

Candle: Those with blue auras are emotionally sensitive and are self-expressive. They may be shy in letting their innermost feelings be known, which means you should listen when they do speak.

S Spoon: Purple is the highest level of all the chakra colors. Being the crown chakra color, people who have purple in their aura are intuitive, is the “view the larger picture” type of person, and love to guide others to their highest potential. They are often the artistic type.

Goo: Those with yellow auras are high energy and exude optimism. It’s helpful for yellow auras to live in the present without stressing about the future.

Cabby: When discussing individuals with a turquoise aura, there is one word that will always come up, sensitive. The sensitive nature of a Turquoise is not meant to describe intuition or superior detection of those who are suffering. Instead, it is used in the classic sense of easily overwhelmed and emotionally vulnerable. This is one reason a Turquoise is not a seeker, for he or she would not press on if rebuffed by those who wish to ignore or deny their struggles or ailments. The turquoise aura is one of compassion and vibrant friendliness, exuding an energy that can only be described as bubbly and excited. Despite their energetic nature, they have a calming and relaxing effect on those in their presence. It is nearly impossible to not feel at ease when a Turquoise is in the room, let alone when he or she is helping you through your struggles.

Analysed for the funsies ;)

#inanimate insanity #ii #new post #inanimate insanity invitational #iii #object show community #osc #auras #ii cabby #ii paintbrush #ii yinyang #ii goo #ii clover #ii nickel #ii balloon #ii test tube #ii floory #ii candle #ii silver spoon

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physalian · 8 days

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Crutch Tropes #1: “I just want to be normal.”

One cannot write a sensical story that is completely devoid of tropes, much less completely immune to the audience presuming tropes whether you intend them or not. In short: Tropes are not, and have never been, the “problem”.

The problem isn’t even that some become clichés. The problem is when writers use tropes in place of actual character development and detail, because they think just stamping the trope on the page suffices. This isn’t usually done maliciously, either, it’s from inexperience at best, or ego at worst.

Every trope can be a writing crutch—as in, its mere existence gives the illusion of depth where there isn’t any—but there’s a whole subset of tropes that become annoying and exhausting clichés when they don’t have to be. I think they can still be implemented as solid story and character choices with a little TLC thrown their way.

I already wrote about lacking buildup for major character beats and how they’re clearly written to make the audience angry or scared or to pick a side or fall in love, and here is one of the most egregious.

—

No one who’s just been shown the secret otherworld of every fantasy reader’s dreams wants to be “normal”. This line gets thrown around to drive early conflict between the reluctant chosen one and their new badass friends, as if entering this new otherworld or accepting these new powers or responsibilities in any way makes their generic and “normal” life worse.

The writer knows this, otherwise they wouldn’t be banking on the super cool awesomeness of the world they just created to sell books.

The best instances of this trope are well into the story where the character can see and has likely suffered the downsides of this otherworld. Or, a seasoned veteran character comes to terms with the fact that they've given their life to this entity and never got the chance to be normal. By that point, the audience is already endeared to them and right in this mess with them. At the start of the story, we have no idea who this person is.

How to fix: These powers/attention/responsibilities are actually a serious threat and detriment to the character’s ability to live their life and being “normal” is something they have actually never known. “Normal” becomes a gift. Or, the character has a very clear idealized “normal” and the plot is in the way of it.

Without this addition, “I just want to be normal” feels empty and cheap, because most of us readers are “normal”, and can’t empathize with a whining protagonist who we all know will come around eventually.

This trope also loses its teeth when the character cannot define what “normal” they want. Many chosen ones are already written in the midst of their tragic backstory and already don’t live an average life compared to the average reader, but they don’t complain about not being “normal” until they’re dragged out of their miserable existence into the way cooler plot.

But many chosen ones are also just average people, who inexplicably turn down amazing adventures because they just… really want to be homecoming queen, or really love slinging burgers, or taking the bus to school, or doing homework. No one with that life wants to be “normal”, and none of those characters ever articulate just what’s so special about this life.

—

Perfect example of both versions of this solution:

Princess and the Frog: Tiana wants to open her restuarant and wants nothing to do with romance or an adventure. Naveen stands in the way of her "normal" every chance he gets. Tiana's quest is never for romance, it's to undo the magic spell that she got dragged into on accident, and romance is just a happy byproduct.

The Lightning Thief: Being a demigod sounds cool, but the survival rate of these tragic heroes into adulthood, much less 16, is very low, and the book narrative makes it very clear that these so-called heroes are really just beasts of burden doing the gods' dirty work. Percy may not want to continue living exactly the way he is, but at the start of the book, he doesn't give a damn about helping his deadbeat godly dad. When he yearns for normalcy, we can all see why.

—

What is their normal and why do they want it? What are they already doing, or what do they wish would happen, to obtain that idyllic normalcy? I wrote this post about humanizing your characters, and if you’re going to write this blip in the hero’s journey, this is your chance to get as vivid and specific as you can about what this character sees as their perfect life.

#writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writing tools #writing a book #writing #writeblr #character design #character development #hero's journey

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yestrday · 2 years

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that last line of the brother ask made me go OHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMNNNNNNNN

In a non-requesty way lol, do you think the twins would be slowed down if a Reader who obviously has zero interest in romance constantly talks about how “they’re only attending this school so they can have access to information to find their twin”

And that Reader just “wants for people to mind their own business, and not hinder their efforts / trail after them just because they want attention”

they get it. they totally do. in this reincarnation, the twins have no experience of being separated, but somehow when they even think of the idea... it makes their heart ache so bad.

an elite school is a perfect place to go to if you're looking for information. you're surrounded by the elite who has webs of information attached to their fingers! with your charm, it'd be easy enough to make them give the information you need. the downside however, well, now you've got a whole harem after you.

you go to the twins for support because they're really the only people who can successfully pretend they're not just as obsessed with you for a very long time. surely they'll empathize with your situation! a lower to middle-class citizen who manages to snatch a scholarship through hard work, evading threats and keeping calm under scrutiny all for the sake of finding a lost twin. and they do, they really do.

no matter how many boundaries you try to set with the other harem members, no one ever listens to you. others try to convince your twin isn't worth it, and others will sell their souls to do anything for you. you don't want anyone getting dragged into your mess! and the twins know that, so now they act as your bodyguards in secret, warding off any incoming obsessed lovers as they support you in your journey as much as they can.

they'll respect your wishes and cease their attempts to court you, but that doesn't mean that's the end. once you find your twin, you'll have them to thank for not being kidnapped or drugged by one of your predators. they'll get your twin's blessing and surely, surely after that you'll finally come to love both of them.

#yandere lumine #yandere aether #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere x reader #genshin impact #yester.writes #yester.shorts #yester.au — academy 📓

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checkoutmybookshelf · 3 months

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He's Just a Herald and He's On Fire!

So, if there is one consistent theme with protagonists in Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar universe, it's that there is a STARTLING number of them who are misfits in their families, misunderstood, and a little anxious and melancholic about the whole thing. You'd think that this would get boring fast, but Lackey manages to mix up the details enough that they don't meld together in my head, and in point of fact, I have actual favorites. One of whom we are talking about today. That's what this post is for. Lan Chitward is one of my favorite herald protagonists. Let's talk Brightly Burning.

Hi, hello, welcome. If this is your first time on my blog, please be warned that this is A SPOILERIFIC ZONE. I will SPOIL THE CRAP OUT OF THIS BOOK. Consider yourself warned.

Y'all, I am a Shakespeare scholar, so if I ever post anything along the lines of "Tragedies suck and I hate them," please send help, I've been kidnapped. Your girl LOVES a good tragedy, and that's really what this book is: An Amazing Tragedy. But that's just the end for Herald Lavan Firestorm and his Companion Kalira.

At the beginning of this book, we meet Lavan "Lan" Chitward, ugly ducking son of a pair of extremely prosperous merchants who feels ignored, misunderstood, and transplanted from the place that made him happiest. Kiddo has zero desire to follow either of his parents into their trades, so when they hit their wits' ends, said parents send Lan to a merchant-run school so Lan can find himself a direction in life that he feels will suit him.

Lan's parents might not be able to empathize or communicate with their son, but they did try to set him up for success. They tried. They get a couple of points for that. Not a lot. But a couple.

Unfortunately for Lan, he gets to discover the downsides of private school firsthand when he is relentlessly and cruelly bullied by older students. Lan's anxiety and very real, rational fear of bodily and social harm get so bad that to save his life, his Firestarting Gift explodes out of his control. By the time the smoke clears, four boys are dead and Lan is being carted up to the palace to explain to Herald Pol what on earth had been happening in his school and how the fire started. Stress from being questioned makes Lan lose control again, but before he can start a second killer fire, Kalira chooses Lan. Handily, Kalira is the daughter of Pol's companion, Satiran, so Pol is aware from the jump that Lan is more than just Kalira's Choice: The two are lifebonded.

Go nuts, Ao3.

However, this is about when the members of the heraldic circle start looking at each other sideways and going, "oh no. Firestarting Gifts usually only pop up when we're going to need them..." So while Lan is getting tutored by Pol, Kalira, his new best friend Tuck, and Pol's daughter Eleanor, Karse is causing trouble at the border--like preparing to invade and burn all the heralds to death trouble. Karse is not your friend, and their sun priests tend to target heralds and healers, and the only thing worse than being killed by Karsite troops is being taken alive to be burned at the stake or--for healers--be forced to use your gift until you burn out and die. So: Bad Situation.

Ultimately, the command decision is made to send Lan to the front. Lan at this point is an emotionally unstable, half-trained at best trainee herald. The poor kid is getting yeeted into a situation he is absolutely unprepared to handle. Before he and Pol even MAKE it to the front, they're attacked by a scout group and Pol is blinded--put a pin in that, we're going to come back to it. So Lan gets to the front already traumatized and somewhat sans his trusted mentor. It's not good.

Ultimately, the title of this book comes back to haunt Lan and Kalira: they burn, too brightly. Kalira takes an arrow in battle to save Lan, and in his grief and rage, Lan unleashes his final strike, taking out the Karsite army, an entire pine forest, and even some of his own soldiers--firestorms are hard to aim. Lan is posthumously raised to full Herald rank, and losing their entire army puts Karse on the shelf. It's the very definition of a pyrrhic victory, however. Lan burned himself out at age sixteen. He was a half-trained child doing his level best, and he was put in a situation that he was objectively unready for. It's heartbreaking, it's tragic...it's WONDERFULLY done.

The entire time you're reading this book and falling in love with Lan and Kalira, you're thinking "they'll be alright, won't they? They have to be alright." But you have enough other beloved characters that you get to know well enough that you also get to mourn with them once Lan and Kalira are gone. You get pulled into this story and you just want to hug Lan and stick him somewhere safe. This is one of my favorite Valdemar books, no question.

This is where I want to just briefly come back to Herald Pol and the attack that costs him his sight. I have no objection about the context in which this occurs. Shit happens in war. It's tragic, it's traumatic, it COMPLETELY SUCKS, but there aren't any red flags in terms of how Pol is disabled. There is also a fairly realistic period in which Pol is trying to adjust to not having sight. He also can see through Satiran's eyes for short periods of time because magic, but since this comes with a cost in energy and magic and doesn't inherently negate the disability, we're still fine. It's an emergency stopgap measure, not a functional cure. So far, so fine.

Unfortunately, there are a couple of things I don't love about how Pol's blinding is handled. The first thing is a bit "your mileage may vary" rather than a genuinely harmful negative representation, but it threw up a faint red flag when I was reading, so I'm talking about it. Traumatic injuries are so described for a reason; people have very very valid feelings and reactions to being suddenly and violently disabled, and part of adjusting is having the time and space to work through those feelings. Now. Pol and Lan are literally in a war zone, they are indispensably important figures, so they can't just be sent home. There also kind of isn't time and space to deal with the emotions in a war zone. All of that is fair enough. It would suck to have to just swallow the feels and keep functioning, and that could even lead to some good narrative tension.

That's not what happens though.

I'll just give you the text from the book for this bit:

Some time during the ride to headquarters, Pol had made up his mind on several points; it had given him relief from the pain to work things logically through in that way. Losing his eyesight was not going to be a tragedy, and if Ilea could not Heal him, then he would simply accept that. The events of the evening only confirmed that belief. He worked through everything as logically as he could during the ride, and during that night and the day and night that followed, in his dreams he was able to employ a technique called directed dreaming to work through things emotionally. It wasn't easy; he exhausted himself all over again, weeping for what he had lost and raging against everyone involved, including himself. But it had to be done, and quickly, and dreams were the best and least harmful place to do so.

I'm not going to say that his experience as a Herald and soldier don't give this some credibility, and I'm not going to say that narrative compression isn't a thing that writers can and do use to get characters from emotional point a to point b, but this stretched my credibility just a skooch and made me go, "They're going to keep him blind, right?"

Reader, they healed him at the end of the book. Can we PLEASE let him live a full herald life while blind??? He was no less effective without his sight than with it, and A LITTLE PHYSICAL DISABILITY REP AMONG THE ACTIVE-DUTY HERALDS WOULD BE LOVELY. Plenty of them live with anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, or other mental health challenges, but heaven forbid a herald have a physical disability.

This is a pattern I'm noticing more and more in books. Soldiers and soldier-adjacent characters can experience mental illness and disability, but not physical. It's that really annoying mind-body split looming large, and I don't have a good solution for this other than letting active duty characters also have physical disabilities, rather than having them be cured, retired, or in roles that never require them to be in the field. And I do get that like...if you are physically disabled, your best bet is not to be in a fight, but that's not how LIFE works. Sometimes the fight comes to you, or your expertise is needed in the field. It happens. LET IT.

Other than my growing frustration with disability rep in military, military-adjacent, and martial-esque organizations in fiction, I love this book to little tiny pieces. It's a beautifully executed tragedy without being self-indulgent or unnecessarily maudlin.

#mercedes lackey #valdemar #heralds of valdemar #herald mages #burning brightly #lan chitward #lavan firestorm #heralds and companions #adult fantasy #fantasy novel #books and reading #books & libraries #books and novels #books #book recommendations #disability representation #kill or cure

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theomnicode · 1 year

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Saitama and journey in self-confidence

Over the course of the series, Saitama's really taking a wild ride with his self-confidence issues.

Before he met Genos, he wasn't good at dealing with hostile confrontations at all. He shrunk into himself to try and escape the hostile situation and this is masterfully depicted in chapter 61 Squadron by Murata-sensei.

He's also nudging Genos to actually say something in his place when someone is suddenly hostile to him for no reason. INFJ are commonly sensitive people who don't deal well with emotional hostility directed at them.

Neither is Genos probably all that confident in asserting himself normally, but Saitama's continuous presence feeds his empathic energy, so it works out for him. Saitama probably greatly admires this same confidence and as the series goes on, gains more and more confidence in himself and in conducting his heroism and his plans and even relaying that to King in bonus chapter 86.5, Confidence.

But most importantly, also gaining more confidence in expressing his feelings towards Genos that he cares in subtle ways.

Such as asking if Genos is mobile enough to move and if he needs to get carried. Saitama is really not one for physical touching, but directly asking if Genos is ok to go on his own or whether he needs assistance is a big leap.

He was still getting outdone by Genos doing even more or less blatantly boundary breaking acts of service though which are more like how one would act towards their significant other rather than their roommates or friends, so no doubt not feeling quite confident enough to say what he truly felt was at the top of his mind.

Genos and his easy displays of affection and acts of service are probably not missed by Saitama. He's more observant than he looks.

It has taken some time for Saitama to break out of that shell because he's the epitome of introverted and shy and actually start feeling confident enough to express that he cares for Genos, a lot. I can imagine he did a fair amount of thinking when he was down at MA for an entire day. But when he finally does act, he prioritizes Genos and his safety above all else.

(Now that I look closely, there's a small upside-down heart visible in his cape, which fills the hole in it. Very subtle and very cute Murata-sensei. I love this aaah. The most hidden and underrated small Saigenos moment. :D)

(Please help to this man, he has fallen hard. He's just following his heart, like Garou is doing watching the byplay and not interrupting.)

("Hold on my hope, I'm coming!" - Saitama prolly)

Nobody can obviously forget this heart touching scene with the very gay rainbow lights behind like constellations. How romantic, despite Genos being in pieces. Murata-sensei knows exactly what he is doing I see.

But it is one of the rare occasions where Saitama is direct and praises Genos for his inner strenght and accomplishments in that regard, not just is heroic acts. Saitama is genuinely happy to see Genos get this far.

Genos actually being alright is a huge weight off his shoulders and seems to definitely give Saitama the extra boost he needs to start tackling the other issues pre-garou fight one by one and trusting his heroic intuition and his own abilities to pull him through the night with more energy in tow. He was tired, hungry, mentally exhausted and emotionally exhausted but Genos is all the rejuvenation he needs for a second wind.

A veritable King of the Hill, as his very peak of confidence levels. Everything is going just perfectly and things are almost down in the bag. And yet...gaining confidence has it's own downsides. He was getting cocky. He even did some blatant emotional manipulation, even if for benign purpose, against Garou who noticed the blatant attempt.

He trusted his intuition, his own planning (and future sight) so much that he never foresaw another entity join the fray and knock him down a peg. To be fair, he was still under duress and so leaned towards his dominant cognitive function like most of us do if stressed and tired, but he was getting cocky nonetheless.

So he fell from high to rock bottom in a few seconds.

Saitama loses every shred of confidence in himself and his abilities that he has spent this entire series building. It is such a massive blow to his ego it's surgical.

It is not much better after he defeats Garou, far from it. The one person he trusts to help his self-confidence seems...absent and puts him on the spot and he worries for his well-being because he's acting strange.

One thing still remains though: even as Saitama's ego got a massive blow and his confidence shattered, he's still emotionally confident enough to pick up Genos and keep holding him close. Not just as an act of helping Genos because he cannot move on his own, but also to hold him close and try to ascertain what's wrong with him and take comfort in his physical presence. He senses something but can't really place it.

Increased physicality is a sure sign that INFJ is gaining emotional confidence to express levels of intimacy. It's not uncommon to find infj to be very cuddly with their partners, especially when they seek emotional closeness and when attempting to help their partner and comfort them. Hugs are sometimes the best medicine.

Saitama does not seem to stay down for long though, before he's showing off to Genos with completely unnecessary displays of strenght (peacocking) and then the most subtle jab I've ever seen that he's confident enough now to express that he dislikes Genos not telling him anything. Aren't they actual friends? INFJ are not commonly known to be happy campers if their loved ones don't tell them what is so obviously wrong.

It is kind of weird to see Saitama bounce back this fast though, but I'll take this with face value as it is now.

And then, the coup de grace and the actual growth in confidence realized; how Saitama has gained enough confidence in himself how to handle an emotionally abrasive and hostile situation and turn it to his own advantage.

Without missing a beat or shrinking to himself like he used to do in the early days and before the martial arts tournament when he tried to defend himself against the Squadron leader, he keeps a cool head, takes emotional distance and subtly tells the guys in his household he does not appreciate being treated like a rug they can step on.

It hasn't even been that long either.

Still a mister nice guy, no longer mister sandbag.

The interpersonal relationships effect, ladies and gents. Mostly Genos though.

Now all that remains is to well, not be embarassed down to the core to actually admit he likes Genos.

Welp.

I guess not yet. He'd rather the ground swallow him whole than remember. *snerk*

Oh well. To be fair, it sounds quite mortifying to admit a practical confession/act of undying love lol.

I await the next chapters with glee.

(You can do it Sai, I believe in you. I'll cheer for you :D)

#opm #one punch man #saitama #opm meta #self-confidence #confidence #saigenos #genosai #genos #opm manga panels #opm anime screencaps

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