#in that case I’m literally perfect in every way for him literally the entire fucking experience with 0 commitment cause I am leaving

[johnlockdynamic]

literally as he was extracting my breakup speech talking points from me a Chinese girl called him to accuse him of leaving her on read and he was like I'm in a meeting. and this girl is waiting to be invited to his place during graduation like "I've been saving that weekend for you". and he's telling me they had this conversation months ago and she's crazy and im like . maybe you should just stop saying things you don't mean. I kinda feel bad for her.

I'm sooo looking forward to peacing out in a month lmao ✌️

#I don’t think he even told her he’s in a relationship lolol #cj talks #like I’ll stay cause he’s obviously trying #it was literally like pulling teeth to get him to admit I g #was essentially halfway out the door when he was like yeah . u r my girlfriend. I’m devoted to u. [friend] knows this [prof] knows this. #‘ru happy now you got everything you wanted’ #did I tho?? did I?? #like I’ll stick around for the gym dynamic and the fact that he’s trying soooo hard now but damn. #I really do deserve better #I’m like why DO you joke about commitment so much if you never mean it #and he’s like yeah it’s cause I’m scared #in that case I’m literally perfect in every way for him literally the entire fucking experience with 0 commitment cause I am leaving #and never looking back #yet still he’s afraid like get therapy please #also telling me about the hookups and girls he’s hurt and then when other girls do the same to him it hurts and it feels like karma and im.. #like this is simply a world I never wanted to be involved in but guess I’ve been dragged here #sorry i only know one way to love and it’s completely and unconditionally ✌️ through my actions ✌️ and food and choosing you every time ✌️ #but I’m also really good at cutting people off and in one month I am GONE cause this ain’t worth sticking around for #mans is like what if I offend u by not showing up in December like he’s saying he might #sir I genuinely would be happy never to see you again

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

GET A LITTLE LOUD. I DON’T MIND.

—WITH GOJO SATORU

REMEMBER: THE CLASSROOMS AT JUJUTSU HIGH AREN’T EXACTLY SOUNDPROOF…

content: teacher!gojo, teacher!reader, husband!gojo, smut, unprotected sex, p in v, semi-public sex, against the wall, over the desk, creampie, gagging, panty-theft, use of names slut and whore, not proofread

notes: i’m back this is crazyyyy!! i literally wrote every other day and thought about posting but i never finished anything and then all of a sudden it’s been years :O and im back w gojo brainrot. p.s. obi content is still coming but u just gotta be patient sorry i literally am so rusty

words: 3374

“toru! they’re gonna hear you, not me!” you worried your words wouldn’t get past the lewd sounds gojo was making as he rammed his dick in and out of your pussy. he did all this while holding you against the wall of the classroom— where anyone could come in.

“oh, i’m not worried about getting us caught” each of his words was let out between harsh moans, breath heavy as he kept his open mouth pressed against your neck. so he did hear your concern, it just made absolutely no difference to him. there wasn’t even a stutter in his pace, set hard and fast as soon as he slipped inside you only a bit ago.

“then why’re you covering my mouth?” one of his large hands smothered the entire bottom half of your face, but you managed to squeeze your words through the small sliver of space between gojos long fingers just like before.

“because i can actually stop myself from screaming. can you?” he was taunting you, sure, but the truth in it had you blushing. you were a little embarrassed of how easy it was to get a sound out of you. it was hard for you to keep everything in when you were naturally so vocal, and it only got harder the closer you were to coming. satoru always loved the moment he could see your conscious efforts to stay quiet become entirely abandoned in pleasure. once you couldn’t hold back, neither did he, fucking you as hard as he could, until he wrung out every little praise, and whimper, from your pretty throat. when you couldn’t help but shout his name for everyone to hear was his favorite, and he hated having to smother all the noises that always turned him into a horny teenager. he didn’t hold back his own grunts and groans though, letting them out freely in the classroom, which you didn’t think was very fair.

“that’s n-aah!” you couldn’t help but prove him right, a high-pitched moan jumping from your throat when he lifted you up, only to slam you back down where he was waiting to meet your hips a particularly eager thrust of his own.

“mhmm there it is.” he gave a smug little laugh that was always so familiar coming from him. satisfied that he had proven his point, he went back to making sure you kept quiet. instead of using his hands to muffle you this time, he smothered them with his own deep groan through a passionate kiss.

it didn’t help your case that your only response was an increasingly dazed look in your eyes. he clapped a large hand over your mouth again as you clung to him for dear life. your nails scraped at the back of his expensive dress shirt, feeling the muscles of his back react to the sensation. you raked them up to the softly shaved snow on his nape, pushing another groan out of him. only one of satoru’s hands were free, but he was doing the work for both of them. sometimes your husband was gentle and soft during sex— this was not one of those times. there was nothing sweet about how he groped your ass, gripping and kneading at the skin harshly. every so often one of his fingers brushed against your unoccupied hole while his palms spread your ass slightly.

gravity had you feeling like he was fucking his cock into you well past your pussy. you felt a pleasurable shock each time he hit that perfect spot, shooting up your body. how could it not feel that good with the way you met him with every bounce on his pretty cock. you both got closer and closer, but not quite there. you knew from the beginning that would be short, but you two couldn’t resist a quickie. honestly, you couldn’t resist any opportunity to fuck.

the truth is, he meant it when he said he really didn’t care about being caught from all the noise, but he also didn’t like that getting caught meant having to stop before he could make you finish.

even deeper than that desire, the one he didn’t want to admit just yet, was his possessive need. satoru wanted to keep those pretty little screams all to himself. he figured that he was the one helping you make them, he should be the one who decides that only he gets to hear them. people could still know just who was claiming you by his own pornographic professions of pleasure. Maybe he would let you cry out in the end to reward you, if only because he wanted to hear you say his name like you always did.

to get you there, he was going to have to go just a little harder to push you over the edge. chasing both of your highs, he used all that famous speed of his to switch positions and bend you over the desk. it all happened so fast that even if he slipped out, you didn’t feel it.

the new angle already allowed him to go deeper, but it also allowed you to arch your back. satoru didn’t moan, he whined at the sight. he always loved seeing just how far you’d bend for him— literally. it made his cock throb inside of you, the blood pulsing through the veins along his shaft that were making each drag against your walls take you closer to heaven.

still muting you but no longer having to hold you up, he used a free hand to bully your clit as well as your hole. there was so much sap dripping down from your pussy, making the noise that rang out everytime your ass and his hips met even more vulgar. he easily gathered up some of the wet mix of both your juice and his precum on two of his fingers removing his hand from your mouth only to shove his fingers in instead.

“mmm fuck baby, taste yourself. taste us.” you gagged on them, the choking sound canceling out the much louder whines you were about to make.

he desperately tore off his blindfold, shoving it in your mouth as a gag and telling you to play with your pussy. even before his hand could grip your hips though, you were already meeting his thrusts.

he gripped your hips with his large hands, squeezing your body beneath him, “oh shit. yeah yeah please. keep slamming that ass back on me princess. please please please.” he begged as if he was at your mercy, even though his inescapable grip was the only thing keeping you from falling limp. he grit his teeth, feeling you tighten around him. you went from throbbing to squeezing him like a vice as your orgasm suddenly shocked through you. you shook, your knees knocking a bit as you used your last bit of strength to push back on him, feeling as much of his cock as you could while you creamed on it. your eyes rolled back almost like they were compensating for the screams you couldn’t let out.

as sensitive as you were, satoru wasn’t done yet.

“so so close, hold out princess.”

the gag slipped from your slacked jaw, but you bit your lip to stop any noise that came from the sensitivity. you nodded and satoru petted your head and smiled. with just your lip to stop you from making noise and you so close to coming, satoru didn’t give a shit about volume anymore. you were about to let out some of the sluttiest moans like you always do when you come, and he wasn’t gonna miss them for anyone. “You know what? get a little loud. i don’t mind,” just before ramming in so hard that he knocked over the desk. the last of your moans morphed into a panicked scream, mingled with the crash and bang of the desk falling, along with all the objects on it. you were nearly one of those things if satoru hadn’t tightly gripped your hips and your neck, keeping you fused together. so much was happening, but he made sure that you were right where you needed to be for him to pour all his cum inside you. it seemed that after everything, your voice couldn’t handle much more than a little whimper when you felt all his hot, thick cum filling you up. you always tightened your legs out of instinct to hold it all in, and it also helped you keep standing as he shuddered, letting a long stream of broken groans and eventually whimpers just by your ear. he wanted so badly to take his time watching his cum drip out of your hole just to gather every drop not inside you on his fingers and shove it back in. you always begged for his cum huh? he’d be a bad husband if he didn’t give you all of it.

shit. his mind cleared he assessed the damage less than a moment after. even with all this clutter on the floor, at least he didn’t add his cum to it he thought. still, the biggest mess was between your legs, and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud about the two of you.

he immediately picked you up like a ragdoll and sat you down on a desk. you still felt your tongue threaten to loll out but you threw a leg over his shoulder out of instinct, giving him access between your legs to clean up the slick that covered your sex and thighs with his blindfold. it was already covered in spit anyway.

“fuck. someone definitely heard that” he murmured during his rushed clean up.

“who’s fault now huh—“ you were cut off by satoru’s reaction to hearing approaching steps he yanked you forward to button your shirt as you realized the person was running, very, very fast. you were both so relieved that you still had your skirt and he still had his pants on, leaving you one less thing to trip over. while he fumbled with your clothes you zipped up his pants and buckled his belt. gojo had just finished the very important task of checking to make sure no cum was leaking past your panties before yuuji came bursting through the door. you immediately hopped off the desk and smoothed down your hair and your skirt, while gojo tried to pass off his ruffled hair by acting like he’d been running his hand through it.

“hey, are you guys ok? we thought we heard something crash.” yuuji eyes darted to the desk on the floor, completely missing the raging blush on gojos face and the slight wobble in your knees. he opened his mouth to ask only to be shoved through the door when nobara came in hot behind him.

“hey! i thought we were all gonna check it out!” she scolded him with her whines.

“not my fault you’re slow!” he defended.

finally megumi strolled in, looking as nonchalant about the whole thing as he could be, in great contrast to his best friends.

“students!” you turned to satoru as he addressed them enthusiastically, “your teachers were just training and made a bit of a mess.” wow. that excuse just…well it sucks. you almost wanted to roll your eyes but had to do a double take. where did he get his glasses from? when did he put them on? leave it to gojo to keep his accessories on hand. it did help distract from how puffy and pink his lips were as he spoke.

“you were fighting in here?” yuuji tilted his head in question. combined with his big brown eyes, his actions had him looking like a puppy.

“it was impromptu.” you bolstered gojos excuse while trying not to cringe at how bad it was to begin with.

“ooh were you like couple fighting?” nobara jumped in with her question. it seemed she was way too intrigued by the prospect of drama to question how much sense it actually made, and you had absolutely no objections to that right now.

“wait things can get that heated to where you battle??” oh yuuji. he asked as if nobara knew all there was to know about the subject.

“no, no!” you waved your hands frantically, only to be completely tuned out once the two kids entered the mode of conspiracy. they talked lowly but didn’t whisper, as if you couldn’t hear them literally talking about you five feet away.

“i mean they totally look like they got into it.” nobaras chin was between her thumb and pointer finger while her eyes narrowed in inspection, yuuji mimicking her actions. after a second of tapping her cheek, she pointed directly at her sensei, making you and satoru almost jump a little bit. wow you had to get a hold of yourself. “no offense, but you should probably fix your hair.” nobara stated bluntly. gojo pouted. you thought he was adorable but also made a note to compliment his hair later.

megumi had been silent, not even really looking at you or the mess. his eyes just wandered the walls until it seemed like something clicked in his braim. his eyes darted back and forth between you and gojo. suddenly rolling his eyes letting out an exasperated “oh my god,” megumi just dragged a hand over his eyes and his face. he wasted no time turning around and walking away, seeming absolutely done with you two.

he caught nobaras curiosity and had her chasing him out the door and down the hall where you could hear her calling out “hey! hey, fushiguro come back!”

“hey wait what’s he talking about.” yuuji looked increasingly confused as he followed suit.

you almost slumped in relief you were so tired and you had to put effort into standing straight and not just falling into gojo. he looked at your relieved and tired face with a goofy smile. that smile. it disappeared as soon as you started slapping his arm.

“sa-to-ru!” a slap accompanied each syllable. “that was the worst excuse ever! there’s no way they’re not going to figure it out!” your hands kept slapping his bicep, but were just as quick to wrap around it right after. you pressed your cheek against the expensive cotton sleeve as you hugged his arm tightly and pouted just like he did as you looked up.

“c’mon let’s be real here, megumi would rather die than discuss our sex life with his friends. plus, we’re married, princess. i’m pretty sure a husband fucking his wife is like, the least surprising thing ever.” he rolled his eyes as he turned to wrap his arms around your waist, your hands resting on his chest.

“what about itadori? i’d hate for that kid to lose his innocence,”

“innocent? that kid is a self-proclaimed ass man.” taking advantage of the subject, one of satorus own hands came to rest on your ass. you quirked a brow but he pretended not to see your face and just continued, “i also saw a pinup poster in his room,”

“wait, really?” you stopped and shook your head a bit, like it would help you refocus on what you remembered you were talking about, “oh but still, toru, i know they know we have sex but—“

“but what?” he sighed, waiting for your most definitely poor reasoning.

“i don’t know, just” you started blushing and he knew that little embarrassed look. he knew you always liked to play the good girl, to hold on to your pride. if it didn’t make for such a fun game he’d say it’s a total waste of time knowing, without fail, he’d have you on his leash in minutes (literally or metaphorically depending on what your setting allowed). a single long finger tilted your chin up, his face suddenly so close to yours.

“oh you’re not worried about them finding out about my wife being fucked, you're worried about them finding out that she likes to be fucked like a slut.” such crude words came out in delicate breaths that fanned across your face.

“no!” your voice died out instantly when he pulled you a little closer again, your noses now touching instead of just your breath.

“hard enough for the desk to fall and loud enough to scream.” you had had sex minutes ago, and even worse, had almost gotten caught, and yet he was saying and doing everything to make your pussy throb all over again. you were always so easy for him to play with, never offering any real objections despite your attitude. “yeah? you don’t want them to know how desperate you are, how you just couldn’t keep your legs closed until we got home? because that’s all you want, isn’t it.” he whispered in your ear, your eyes fluttering back with chills. the sensation of him placing kisses on your neck brought you back to your senses once again.

“please, as if you didn’t run around the whole school just to say you needed ‘help’”

“and you’re suchhhh a good little helper for me, baby,”, he went to kiss you on the mouth you returned it, but as soon as he deepened it, you pushed him away and he had the audacity to look hurt. you were getting whiplash from having to repeatedly pull yourself together just to fall right into his hands again.

“you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. i swear we almost got caught there’s no way we can go another round. you’re insatiable gojo satoru.”

“mhmm, we both are, mrs. gojo satoru.” he tapped your nose before lowering his voice once again. “so, how bout i take these panties, and we go home when my cum is about to leak past your skirt, huh?”

“fine. deal.” you huffed, but spread your legs quickly. he went on one knee to pull your panties down, enjoying the picture of your pussy and leaving a kiss on your clit which made you hiss, before he had the fabric dropping to your ankles. you stepped out of them and he swiftly pocketed them.

“i love my wifey so much!” he stood up and kissed you with a cute smile as if he hadn’t just shove your panties down his pants.

“that’s good because love you too toru,” you said softly, hands clasped behind your back and rocking back and forth on your heels with a lovesick look like a schoolgirl. honestly, he never stopped making you feel like one.

“aww so sweet.” he tucked a hair behind your hair, sending butterflies past your stomach and to your whole body, but you just knew that wasn’t all. “who woulda thought you were such a whore?” ah, theres your satoru.

“only for you” you patted his cheek jokingly, but he just groaned with his whole body. he had to do things in the most dramatic way possible of course.

“ugh. baby, you can’t just say things like that and then—“

you pushed him off, leaving him, arms still stretched out reaching for you, even after you walked out the door. he looked at the clock before deciding it was max 30 minutes before you asked to go home. you came back in 10.

— bonus:

“well i mean the honeymoon stage is like that, although it’s annoying and gross.” nobara shrugged while still stirring her boba.

“they’ve been married for 7 years. dated for 10.” megumi responded quietly, nobara consequently spewing her drink.

“no way! they act all starry-eyed and all that stuff still.” yuujis own eyes opened wider in surprise

“yeah that’s what i thought too!” it helped nobara that even yuuji had the same idea too. “ugh now that i know they’re just like that it’s kinda gross.”

“wait megumi if they’ve dated for 10 years, you lived with both of them at the same time, right?” both of megumis friends leaned closer to him, eager to hear where yuujis question went, but he didn't even look at them.

“yeah what about it,” he said as nonchalantly as ever. this was a topic he had always made a point never to dwell on.

“so you had to have heard—“

“okay, that’s enough. we’re never talking about this again.” ideas like yuujis were the exact reason why megumi refused to feel his interest. ideas like yuujis made him want to die from remembering just how many times he accidentally heard the two of you…daily.

“yeah gross, good idea.”

“um yeah, you’re right, don’t answer that actually.”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojo #satoru gojo smut #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #yuuji itadori #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk x reader #gojo x you

[eilidh-eternal]

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Ohhhhhh I have SO MANY recommendations!

@yeyinde their entire masterlist. Absolutely transformative experience reading anything and everything Lev writes. I want to be her when I grow up

@groguspicklejar Chink In the Armor! Best medieval Ghoap AU I’ve ever read!!!! Mafia!141 is so deliciously angsty and she captures it soooo perfectly! Kelsi is absolutely my go to for any and all Kyle pretty boy Garrick reads!!!

@gemmahale Gemma my beloved🖤 everything she writes is literal treasure. Priceless. Deserving of a pretty glass case and soft leather bindings. There are worlds in her head I could not dream up in 100 lifetimes, and her OC’s are sooo complex and well rounded!

@peachesofteal once again, her entire masterlist. Everything she writes is guaranteed to leave me staring at the damn wall with the loading circle spinning on my forehead, wishing I could jump through my screen and live in the worlds she writes

@luminousbeings-crudematter Folie á Deux, Donner Party, and Land Softly are some of my favorites! I still need to work my way through the rest of Lumi’s masterlist😅 but the way she writes Simon 😳 my enclosure only has so many bars, I’m going to have to replace it soon

@391780 oh god too many to count! I looooove the way Early writes dark!141 and ALL of her stories highlight and praise big soft bodies🥰 she also does comic relief INSANELY well, and I just know anytime I sit down to read her fics I’m gonna have a good laugh (get wrecked König)

@moondirti I have just read the first part of Cabin fever and I am already IN LOVE with Dee and their writing style! Cannot wait to read more when I have the chance!

@ceilidho I was not a Price girly when I started getting into CoD, but Ceil’s take on him has irreversibly altered my brain chemistry🫠 and her characterization of a darker Simon?! Canon. She’s in charge now.

@auspicioustidings OH MY GOD!!!! Mhairi just started Ae Fond Kiss and I am so, so, sooooo in love with the concept for this fic! It’s already incredibly gut wrenching and I know I’m gonna be a sobbing mess throughout this series! Truly on the edge of my seat!!!

@pfhwrittes P has such a wrinkly brain! I’m absolutely in love with their Here Be Kink and Dealing Drugs and Feelings collections! Absolutely phenomenal writing! Everything they write is so dark, decadent and rich🤤

@kaadaaan Offer Me His Hunger is such a beautifully written descent into madness and obsession, and Vi does a truly immaculate job of portraying it! I chew on drywall thinking about this DAILY!!!!

@ohbo-ohno PUPPY! SOAP! Don’t Leave Me Locked In Your Heart was the beginning of a very transformative experience for me and with every new fic Bo writes I descend further into madness😵‍💫 I cannot unsee Soap with big puppy eyes and a pouty face and I think Bo should be on the writers team for his “surprise I’m not dead but guess what? I’m Very Fucked Up™️ now” story arc in MWIV bc that was not him in that tunnel

@glossysoap The go-to for any and all Captain related thoughts! Price and 09’ Soap can captain my ship anytime as long as it’s Glossy’s version🫡 Peppers is absolutely deserving of it’s namesake🥵

@charliemwrites never misses! All of her characterizations are spot-fucking-on and she has a wonderful selection of CoD characters that span multiple genres! I’m particularly in love with Woof Woof Johnny🥴 (nasty little freak🖤) and Fields of Elation

@vanderilnde RUGBY! PLAYER! SOAP! He’s dirty and nasty and pervy and pathetic!!!! What more could you want from a man like him? And the way Orion writes him…… CHEWING ON GLASS! I love when soap is a pathetic little whore and Orion NAILED IT!!!

@the-californicationist Oooohhhhh Guile and Guilt was one of the first CoD fics I ever read and it lives in my head 24/7, even when Johnny is whispering Nasty™️ ideas in my ear. The story, the poetry, the characterizations…. IT’S LITERAL PERFECTION!!!!

#eilidh’s asks #author recs #fic recs

[reiderwriter]

hi 💖 I’m literally ✨obsessed✨ with your writing atm and I’ve never done a request before so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity!!

I would love to read an established couple fic where reader drops by !professor spencer’s office and spicy times ensue 🌶️👀 the trope where reader is inexplicably jealous of the girls auditing his class gets me every 🤌 single 🤌 time 🤌 (but don’t feel like you have to include that trope!! I’m a sucker for any !professor spencer smut lmao)

- 🐺 anon

A/N: Thank you sm for your request!! I am also slightly unhinged about Professor Spencer (I think this is my second one this month lmao) so I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: use of sir, degradation, fingering, no contraception, PinV sex, semi-public sex, jealous reader (she's like 27 beefing with undergrads), age-gap (15 years), Spencer keeps a souvenir of her visit 😊. Also I don't even know if American lecturers have office hours, so like... For context I am a European living in SK lmao. 18+ MINORS DNI

W/C: ~2k

Check out my masterlist!!

You’d lost count of how many times you’d visited Spencer in his office now that he’d started lecturing semi-regularly. The break from his regular activities as a member of the BAU suited him well, and you had no complaints either, loving having an excuse to drop by the college campus he was based on to visit the cute student-run coffee shops and explore the space. And since you’d started working from home while you wrote your novel, you definitely had the time to visit.

Usually, you’d find him in some lecture theatre or the other, but having walked around all his regularly scheduled rooms, he was nowhere in sight. You shrugged a little, figuring that he must be in his office if he was nowhere else. You were right, of course, but he wasn’t exactly alone.

A line of undergrads had formed at his door as you noticed the sign pinned to his door mentioned his updated office hours for the semester in the run-up to finals week. Typical. You were never the best-timed person, and you could see that you weren’t going to get his attention for a while from the look of all the students. You waited outside for him to open the door and summon the next student into his office, settling onto a couch opposite his door.

You weren’t trying to listen in to the multiple conversations going on, but you couldn’t help it when they were being so loud and open.

“God, he’s so fucking hot, I just want him to bend me over that desk and-”

“-wonder if he’s single. If he is, I’m totally going to make a move-”

“-I just know it’s big-”

“- in that lecture about the serial rapist, all I could think about was his hands-”

You blushed a little deeper with each of their confessions. They didn’t know who you were, of course they didn’t, and you sure as hell weren’t going to tell them. But now you knew why it was that they were here, and honestly, you couldn’t blame them for lusting after the man, you’d done the same thing. Your relationship had started in a similar way. You’d knocked on the doors of the FBI with a case back when you were a journalist, and been met with those big brown eyes and it had taken your entire strength to not jump him then and there.

So you understood. But you didn’t have to like it, and you certainly did not. The longer you sat there, the older you felt, constantly resisting the urge to yell at these kids in an old maid's way. Gods he was old enough to be some of these girls’ fathers. You weren’t exactly close in age with him yourself, a gap of about 15 years separating the two of you, but come on.

The door to his office finally cracked open, and you followed the sound of his voice, still rambling out facts as he let the student out.

“Now that you have the difference between stressor and trigger down, you’ll find it easier to interpret some of the readings, just keep in mind that sometimes they can be one and the same.” The student nodded and thanked him before leaving, a slightly disappointed look shadowing her face.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” His smile lit up the second he saw you, and you held out the coffee you’d bought him earlier to him.

“Thought I’d drop in and see you. I missed you.” Maybe it was petty of you in front of literal teenagers and people who couldn’t even legally drink yet, but you wrapped a hand around his waist, underneath his suit jacket, and looked up at him with a big grin, fluttering your eyelashes. He looked at you with knotted eyebrows, trying to decode your words as if they were the key to cracking a case he was working on.

You felt the eyes of the students burning into you, heard them whispering to each other and your grin deepened. You’d marked your territory successfully.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got office hours for the next 25 minutes, do you mind waiting?” He looked apologetically down at you, speaking with a bit of an awkward tone, not used to the notable PDA.

“That’s fine. I can wait out here, right?” You asked, trying to give him your most innocent look. He nodded his assent, and you returned to your seat, grabbing a book from your bag and settling in as he welcomed the next student to his office.

An hour later, all the students had finally dispersed. A fair few of them had given up after you made your identity known, embarrassingly slinking away from the queue, but a fair few had stuck it out, still just wanting a glimpse of him. The conversation had dimmed though, now back on the topic of college parties and TikTok stars or something.

When the final student slipped out of the office, you jumped up enthusiastically and joined Reid inside, letting yourself in with a small knock and a sing-song “professor.”

He was sat at his desk, glasses perched on his nose looking down at some papers, and looking as attractive as he had the day you’d met him. You slunk over to him, swirling his chair around so you could sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a deep kiss to his lips.

“What’s gotten into you today?” He asked, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him, obviously not objecting to the sudden physicality of your affection. “It’s not an anniversary, we’re only on our 1,813th day of dating which doesn’t mark any milestones or other special cultural holidays, so what gives.”

“You know I love it when you talk numbers to me.”

“You know I love it even more when you spill and tell me what’s going on? Come on, Y/N, something’s different.” You pouted at this goddamn superhuman perception. It was going to be embarrassing to admit that you saw the gaggle of girls that had been crowding around his office as competition.

“There were a lot of students today.” You said, simply changing the topic a bit, hoping you wouldn’t have to explicitly name the green-eyed monster that had taken over you.

“Not really, that’s about the amount I get every time I open office hours.”

“Every time?” He’d told you often that you were an absolutely open book, your facial expressions baring your every thought and feeling. So you cursed yourself at the pout you felt forming on your lips.

“Woah, what was that? Y/N, are you… are you jealous?”He laughed a little bit as your frown deepened, a flush coming up to cover your face.

“So what if I am?”

“Have I not been paying enough attention to you, baby?” He trailed his hand up between your thighs and your breath hitched as you felt the tone of the conversation immediately shift.

“They were talking about you, y’know?” your breath hitched at the last word, as his hand found its way to your clit, beginning to press the tiniest of circles around that nerve.

“Oh? What were they saying that made my princess so upset?” The hand gripping your hip was nearly painful now, as he clasped you tightly, letting your legs spread for him as he slowly picked up the pace, your back now flush against his chest as he looked down to between your legs from over your shoulder. Your head was thrown back against him, your chest rising and falling with every small movement.

“They were talking a-about your hands,” you moaned out. His eyes stayed fixed on your center, but his free hand trailed up to your blouse, popping a few buttons expertly so he could see the rise and form of your chest, see your nipples sticking out through the thin bra you’d chosen that morning.

“Hmm, is that it baby? They just talked about these hands?” He continued at his agonizing pace on your clit as his hand lifted to your nipples, pulling one breast free of your bra and beginning to roll it between his fingers. You writhed at the touch, trying desperately to keep quiet, knowing from your time outside just how thin these walls were.

“Baby, I think you didn’t hear me. Was that all they said?” His tone was darker now, and you knew you had to answer before he made you.

“No!” You moaned out, trying to gain back some composure when all you wanted to do was relax into his hands and let him pull your release from you. “They… they said they knew you were big… Down there.” He laughed a little at that and shifted his hips underneath you.

“And are they correct baby?” You feel him pressing against your leg now and it takes everything in you not to let your eyes roll back in pleasure and let him use you as he wants.

“Yes, sir. They were… they were right, you always fill me up so good.” Your hips start grinding down into his, his hand stilling as you use him to get yourself off.

“There’s something else they said, right, baby? You’re holding something back?” He smiled, dropping hot open-mouthed kisses to your neck as you frantically rubbed yourself up against him. Your moans were ripping out from your mouth now in frustrated moans, as you felt needy in a way you’d never quite experienced before.

“Stop teasing, Spencer.”

“No. This is my office, and you come in draping yourself all over me like a whore in front of all of my students. You don’t get to call me Spencer right now, you’re going to have to show a little bit more respect.” With those words he pushed you up to your feet, pulling his hands off of you before quickly clearing a space on the desk and bending you over it.

“I heard this bit. They said they wanted me to bend them over and take them like this, right?” You heard him unzip his pants, bringing the tip of his cock to your entrance as he started teasing you, pulling your panties to the side. You moaned out a yes, but that wasn’t enough for him anymore.

“Use your words, baby. What did they want me to do to them?”

“They wanted you to bend them over the desk and fuck them like a little whore, sir.” With that confession out in the open, he finally pushed into you, stretching you out with a sinful groan slipping from his mouth.

“Fuck baby, so tight and wet for me…” His thrusts were hard and slow, and you could feel the wetness seeping down your legs, the wet sounds of your activity filling the space infinitely. His pace picked up and so did your constant mewls from the contact, the sounds completely unmistakable for anything but base lust.

“You’re so fucking wet for me, sweetheart. Going to come, right here on my cock in my office, huh?”

“Yes, sir, I’m going to…. Shit, I’m going to cum.” He grabbed your hair and pulled your face up to his, swallowing each of your moans with his mouth as he let his tongue explore, your body twitching still under his ministrations. He kept his rough pace up for another minute or two before hitting his peak as well, pulling out to empty himself out on your thighs.

“Shit, Y/N,” he mumbled, falling back into his chair and running a hand through his tousled hair as you fell forward back into the desk, chest heaving. He was at eye level with the results of his labour and you heard the sound of his phone camera clicking before you could pull yourself together.

“Spencer!” You giggled awkwardly, looking back at him with an incredulous look as he pulled some tissues out of the desk drawer and started cleaning you up.

“What? I always take notes during my office hours.” He grinned up at you, as you turned around and planted another kiss to his lips, pulling him back up to you.

“How many students do you think will actually turn up to your class tomorrow?”

“I’ll be lucky if the module actually has any sign-ups next term.”

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #Requested #🐺 anon

[pascalscoffin]

Muñequita pt. II

Idk idk why I made a part two okay? I’m invested leave me alone

Full Pedro Masterlist

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Warnings: Minirs Go Away I Will Kick You In The Forehead. Girl!dad Javi. Javi struggles with his Colombian past. Javi falling in love with his daughter and reader (all over again) VERY fast. The man’s a simp for his family and he don’t even know em. Javi cries and opens up to reader (he’s still very vague). Valeria loves him literally immediately. Javi is actually scared she won’t and she’s just like “mine.” No season three they’ve got other guys on that case (Steve and Javi refused they just wanna be small town cops now)

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Javier had never been too worried about his clothes before, he didn’t spend very long choosing his outfit and usually just wore what he was comfortable in, but getting up the next morning he was thrown in a spiral. It’s weird, a guy being so worried about what he’s gonna wear to go meet someone.

But this isn’t just someone.

This is daughter. He wants to make a good impression.

And then of course, there’s you. He’s spent the last five years thinking about the night you shared together, not even just the sex. Don’t get him wrong the sex was absolutely magnificent and would most definitely cross his mind more than once.

But, he found himself thinking about the way you made him feel as lot as well, how your laugh had echoed in his brain and then spread into his chest and throughout his entire body, keeping the two of you laughing until your cheeks hurt, which was an odd feeling for Javier, he hadn’t laughed like that since he was a kid.

He hadn’t been looking to meet someone that night at the bar, if he wanted to get laid he would go to Gabriella and get what he wanted from her, but after the day he’d had trying to run down Escobar, he was just too damn tired to talk to anyone.

But then he sat next to you, subconsciously drawn to the warmth he felt near you, not a physical warmth but something that swirled around and warmed up inside him and he wanted more more more.

Eventually he had Steve on the phone.

“Little girls like pink, right?” There was a short silence. “First of all, hello to you too. Second of all, what?”

“Estoy tan harto de ti, pendejo.” Javier rubbed his forehead before sighing heavily. I'm so sick of you, asshole. “Little girls. Do they fucking like pink or not.” “I- usually, yes. But not always. Why the fuck are you asking me if little girls like pink?”

“I’m meeting Valeria today. I want her to like me, pendejo.” “So you think… wearing pink is… is gonna make her like you?” “I don’t know! It couldn’t hurt!” “Look, Javi. Your shirt doesn’t fucking matter.” Steve sighed heavily on the other side. “Where’s Connie.” Javier asked, she was better at advice. “She took Olivia and Jack for ice cream.” Javier groaned loudly.

“Just- she’s five years old, Jav and she’s about to meet her dad for the first time, I don’t really think it matters what you wear, she’s gonna be obsessed with you as soon as she meets you.” Steve chuckled softly and sighed. “… alright. Alright.” Javier stared down at the button ups he’d been staring at for an embarrassing amount of time before putting the white away and deciding to wear the pink one. “Bye.” He hung up and went to shower before getting dressed, trying to scrub every inch of any cigarette he’d had in the last 24 hours off his skin.

He’d been trying to stop but on the way to Steve’s he’d stopped to buy a couple looseys from the one gas station that would sell them.

After that he waited, impatiently, for an appropriate time to call about coming over. Nine was way too early, noon felt… eager, and anything later than one or two felt too late. It resulted in him dialing your number, staring at the numbers before shaking his head and deciding it was too early about four times.

Eventually he decided 12:30 was pretty much the perfect time, so he dialed your number one last time before hitting the green button instead of the red one this time.

When you picked up he heard your voice fade in. “Valeria, don’t climb on the counter. Vas a romperte el brazo.” You’re going to break your arm. “Hello?” Javier didn’t realize he had a huge smile on his face until he looked in the mirror hanging up on his bedroom wall, tucked away from Chucho and his bat-like ears. “Hey- uh- it’s Javi.” “Oh. Hey. So… you heard she thinks my house is a jungle gym.” Javier chuckled softly.

“She seems like the type.” Javi scratched his chin lightly, silence settling over the phone for a moment before he spoke again. “So uh when… when do you want me to.. come over?”

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Valeria had been practically bouncing around the house all morning. When you’d gotten up you sat her down at breakfast and explained to her gently while she was eating that her daddy was home and wanted to meet her. Her eyes had gotten so wide and so bright, she’d practically inhaled the rest of her food before running off to her room, screaming that she had to find something to wear.

You had to follow her and help, of course, she was independent but the truth was if you let her dress herself she’d end up either not wearing anything or end up wearing two dresses, a skirt, and a pair of jeans with one flat and one sneaker. If that seems like an oddly specific example, it’s because you have in fact let her dress herself and she tried to go to school wearing that exact outfit.

“Querida?” Javi’s soft voice through the receiver brought you back as you watched Valeria carefully climbed down off the counter. “I’m here. Sorry. Sorry I was.. just thinking. Um. You can come whenever now. Honestly, the sooner the better because Valeria wants to look pristine when you get here but I can see her resolve cracking every time she looks out the window.” You laughed softly.

Javi laughed a little harder this time. You watched as Valeria ran away from the windows towards you, grabbing your leg and jumping. “¡¿Es él, mami?! Is that him?!”

On the other end of the line Javier could feel his heart squeezing in his chest and you could hear his breath hitch in his throat. “I-I’ll be there soon.” His voice was softer, you almost couldn’t hear him but you did and a slow smile spread across your face. “Okay.” You said softly. “See you soon.”

You hung up the phone and took just a brief second to smile and feel giddy before being sucked into Valeria’s world again. “Is he coming? Is he coming?!” She whined. You laughed softly and knelt down to pick her up. “Yes, mi muñequita, he’ll be here soon.”

Valeria nodded and laid her head on your shoulder and you could sense her nerves start to build up in her tiny little body. “What’s on your mind, muñequita?” You asked softly, rubbing her back gently.

“.. do you think he’ll like me?” You looked down at her quickly. “What? Of course he will. He’s going to love you, Val.” You whispered softly, kissing her cheek gently, feeling that guilt from last night start to settle in your stomach again. Fuck. Is this what the day had planned for you? Constant unimaginable guilt? “He- you’re so smart and funny and energetic. He’s going to fall in love with you the second he sees you. Just like I did.” You kissed her forehead.

She played with the collar of your shirt. Being a mom who literally refused to enjoy herself you didn’t have ‘dress up’ clothes, sure you had nice clothes, but nice clothes for you meant things like shirts that weren’t stained from play time with Valeria or days where she’d be sick and couldn’t stop herself in time to make it to a trashcan- lets just say there’s a trashcan almost everywhere in your house now, just in case she gets sick.

You were, however, wearing your nicest clothes, which was a beige colored v-neck with a little pocket on the front that adorned a heart, your jeans were light wash, a few bleach stains from laundry mishaps, a missing back pocket, the bottoms frayed from dragging the ground, but they fit you really well and you couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away.

“Can I watch Elmo?” Valeria looked up at you hopefully and you laughed softly, nodding. “Of course. Go pick.” You set her down and watched her run over to the VHS collection of Elmo tapes and watched her fondly.

You were shocked how easily she could move on from things, how she could go from nervous and scared to excited and asking to watch Elmo. Though, if you thought back to your night with Javi, he seemed to be the same way, like he was constantly flipping between emotions, urging off certain ones in favor of others.

You wondered briefly if Valeria did the same thing, wanting to watch Elmo to stave off the nervous feelings. When you saw her pick her desired tape, though, you shook the thoughts out and made your way over, putting the tape in and starting it for her, kissing the top of her head as she sat down, immediately entranced.

You went to the kitchen to prep something to eat when Javi got there, figuring you would have lunch together and, hopefully dinner but you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself. The occasional peek in on Valeria told you no matter how glued in on Elmo, if she heard a car she was running to the window, staring out of it in hopes that a car would stop.

Until you heard her let out a loud gasp and tiny scream. “¡Mami! ¡Mami! ¡Él está aquí! He’s here!” She ran into the kitchen and grabbed your hand to yank you to the door. “Come on!” You were glad she was at least following your rule about not opening the door, the yelling inside was going to take more time.

You picked up your feet to walk to the door, she was surprisingly strong for such a small girl but you were just going to blame that on the excitement. As you got closer to the door you felt nervous, the feeling spreading when you heard a door close in your driveway.

“Mommy open it!” Valeria was jumping up and down, standing slightly behind you. “I am, I am.” You laughed and shook your head, reaching out to pull the door open just as Javi was stepping onto the porch.

Javi froze for a second and got that puppy dog look on his face again as he looked at you before his eyes fell down to the tiny figure behind you and his breath caught in his throat.

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Javier looked down at the little girl, his own eyes staring back at him as he swallowed thickly, she’d had a big floppy hat on yesterday so it’d been hard to see her face but god she was beautiful. Fluffy brown curls that reached her shoulders, some pieces sticking out in a way that reminded him of his own hair.

He hesitated a little before slowly kneeling down, wanting to get at her level as you did the same, stepping over a bit so that they could get a better look at eachother.

“Muñequita… this is your daddy.” Javi looked at you when you called her muñequita and wanted to laugh at the irony but all of a sudden a tiny body was slamming into his chest and little arms were throwing themselves around his shoulders.

He blinked rapidly, eyes widening a bit as he looked at you and then down at Valeria, slowly wrapping his arms around her, letting his eyes close as he soaked in the feeling. “Hola, papá.” She said into his neck, the voice so soft and tiny he was ready to give both of you whatever the hell you wanted.

He took a deep breath to steady the shaking feeling in his chest. “Hola, mi Valeria.” He whispered softly. After a moment Valeria was sliding away just a little bit and her tiny little hands were settling on his cheeks and rubbed lightly, giggling happily and hugging his neck again before looking back at you

“Mommy mommy! It really is him! He looks just like me!” Valeria jumped up and down, absolutely overjoyed that she got to meet her dad.

You laughed softly and felt your cheeks warm up a little under the heat of Javi’s gaze. “Come on. I… I made lunch.” The two of you stood up and Valeria bolted inside yelling about Dino nuggets and tater tots, despite you trying very hard to get her to have something else. “It’s my favorite, mommy! He has to know!” She’d insisted.

You’d laughed and shook your head but ultimately agreed and made enough for the three of you because she demanded you all eat the same thing, insisting you’re a family and families eat the same meal.

“Dino nuggets..?” Javier looked at you curiously as he stepped into the house. You laughed softly. “They’re chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs.” You smiled and closed the door behind him. “Oh.” He nodded slowly. “Huh. Okay.” He pursed his lips, making a mental note of that.

“Sorry. Hi. You look great.” Javier turned to you better with a soft smile. You felt your cheeks warm up and laughed a little as you shook your head. “I look as great as the mother of a five year old can look.” “Which is fucking fantastic, Querida.” Javier shook his head. He wasn’t going to get into that, not yet anyway.

So maybe Javi had a thing for milfs, could you blame him? Especially when they looked like you. “Come on! I’m hungry!” Valeria shouted from the table, whining loudly. You blinked rapidly and looked towards the kitchen with a laugh. “We should probably go. The last time I missed lunch- by two minutes mind you, she tried to make her own milk and spilled it… all over the counter and floor.” You spread your hands out and shook your head. “The whole carton.”

Javier raised his eyebrows and looked towards the kitchen, snorting a little. “.. well we better go, then.” He motioned for you to go so he could follow you, his hands rubbing nervously on his thighs behind you, trying so very very hard not to stare at your ass, thanking god when you got to the table and the two of you sat down, Valeria practically bouncing in her seat as she asked Javier to sit next to her, brown eyes big and shining. How could he say no to that face?

He sat next to her with a smile, you dropping yourself down in front of them before starting to deal out the tater tots and Dino nuggets.

Javier listened as Valeria explained the delicacy of biting a nugget, eating a tater tot, and biting the nugget again, even going so far as to show Javier and tell him that was the best way to eat them, to which you’d laughed but ultimately agreed with her.

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After lunch Valeria was finally allowed outside, screaming in joy as she ran, jumping up and down by her swing set. “Will you push me? Will you push me?” She asked Javier, grabbing his arm when the two of you walked over. “Please, daddy?”

Please, daddy?

The words echoed in Javier’s head as he nodded his head slowly, looking down at Valeria with a star struck look on his face. “Of course I’ll push you, Valeria.” He stood behind her on the swing and looked at you nervously as you nodded your head. “Just no trips to the moon.” You teased.

Javier laughed and nodded. “Yes ma’am.” He pushed Valeria on the swing, not too high but high enough to keep her satisfied as she told Javier all about being in Kindergarten, kicking her little legs happily.

Javier felt his chest swell as he listened to her, his heart pounding in his chest as he started to think about everything he’d done, everything he’d caused in Colombia. How one night, in the midst of that terrible shit he met you and had the best fucking night of his adult life, and it produced this sweet, tiny, innocent little girl that was just too perfect for this world.

And she loved him with every atom in her tiny body.

It made him sick.

Not because he didn’t want her to, or because he didn’t love her. But because he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to have someone love him so wholeheartedly like that, not with the things he’s done. “Javi?” He snapped his eyes over to you and blinked rapidly as you frowned. “Are you okay?”

Javier nodded rapidly. “I’m fine.” He smiled lightly. “I’m fine.” He repeated before looking down at Valeria, who was looking back at him with a tiny frown. The frown melted into a smile though and then she telling Javier he could stop the swing before jumping off the swing and bouncing on her heels.

“Jump rope! Jump rope! Jump rope!” She shouted before running to the box of outside toys to grab her longest jump rope. “Here, daddy! You hold one end. Mommy, you hold this one.” She gave you each one end.

Javier’s cheeks were red and he had a smile on his face as he watched her, looking at you for help on what the hell he was supposed to do here. “Just.. swing your arm back and forth.” You told him, laughing softly. “You’ll get the hang of it.” You teased.

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The day went pretty much like that, Valeria found all kinds of things to play with Javier, introducing him to all her favorite games and toys until she was almost completely tuckered out, thumb stuck in her mouth a telltale sign she was getting sleepy. You never discouraged this, it made her comfortable and it was the only time she did it and it would normally only last until she was asleep, which didn’t take long once the thumb was in place.

“Alright, it’s time for muñequitas around the world to go to bed.” You said softly, your chest squeezing at how she was glued to Javier’s side as you watched a movie, little eyes drooping, one of his arms around her while the other gripped tightly at the cushions. There was something wrong, that much you could tell, you just didn’t know what it was.

Thankfully, Valeria didn’t fight and in her sleepy state reached for you to take her to bed, letting out a big yawn. You laughed softly and gently pulled her from Javier’s side. She reached out last second, though and clung to his neck before pressing a sleepy kiss to his cheek. “Buenas noches, papá” she whispered sleepily before letting you tug her away.

Javier took a deep breath and smiled softly. “Buenas noches, Valeria.” He rubbed his hands on his pants and when you turned around he hesitantly got up and followed you.

You didn’t really hear him behind you, changing Valeria into her nightgown before tucking her into bed, pushing her hair back. “Did you have a good day, Muñequita?” You whispered. Valeria smiled sleepily and looked at you with that same love-filled look, none diminished like you were afraid.

“He’s just like I thought he’d be, mommy.” She whispered happily, her eyes absolutely shining. “He’s so nice and he smells good and he’s super strong! And really fast! I told you he was a superhero, mommy.”

You laughed softly and kissed her forehead as Javier felt his earth shatter and then come back together and then explode again. Hearing you say it was different from hearing her say it and it had him stumbling back to the couch, completely losing his nerve to finish watching your nightly routine. Maybe another night.

He lowered himself onto your couch and pressed his hands to his mouth as he stared at a picture of you after you gave birth to Valeria, completely alone with that tiny baby in your arms, nothing but a nurse next to you for moral support, it made him want to throw up. You were giving birth to his daughter and he was probably fucking a god damn hooker in his sleazy ass apartment. Or watching a fucking child get shot in the forehead, or-

Jesus fucking Christ is he crying right now?

He looked down at his hand and sure enough there was a god damn tear right there on his hand, mocking him. “Javi?” He looked quickly, your sweet voice bringing him back again, slowly pulling him back down to earth. “What’s wrong? Was it too much today? I’m so sorry I didn’t know she was going to-“ “no.” Javier shook his head and wiped his eyes quickly as he stood up, going over to you.

“No it’s not that. I love her. God I love her so fucking much. She’s amazing. She’s so- fucking happy. She’s so happy. And so- full of love- and that’s the problem.” You blinked rapidly and frowned deeply. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t deserve it.” Javier shook his head. “That’s what’s wrong. I don’t.. deserve to be loved by her like that. By someone so innocent.” “Javi- what are you talking about.” “I’m not a superhero- god I’m not even a fucking hero- or a side kick.” He scoffed and walked away from you, hands on his hips as he looked at the ceiling.

“.. Javi-“ “don’t give me that ‘no one feels like one’ bullshit.” Javier scoffed and looked back at you. You furrowed your brows and hesitated a little before making your way over to him and then guiding him down onto the couch. “… you need to talk to someone about it, Javi.” You said softly.

Javier scoffed. “Like a shrink?” You rolled your eyes. “Or a friend.” You closed your hands around his lightly and pulled them closer. “I’m here to listen. You don’t have to tell me everything, or go into detail if you don’t want to.” You rubbed his hand with your thumb.

Javier looked at your hands for a while, silent. After what felt like five minutes he looked at your eyes and took a deep breath. “A lot of… the bad shit that happened.. over there. I was.. around, in the area, when it happened. I saw a lot of it… head on. Explosions, shootings… the shit with Los Pepes. It was my fault” His fist tightened under yours.

“… I watched the news.” You nodded. “I wouldn’t let her but I… wanted to try and keep track of you somehow.” You looked down and brought his hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sorry you had to see stuff like that.” You looked up at him.

“But… Javi whatever you did over there. Whatever happened… you thought you were doing the right thing. You had to catch Escobar.” Javier looked at you for a minute and shook his head as he looked away. “One of em was a fucking kid.” He mumbled, his jaw tightening.

“Teenager, almost a teenager…” you moved closer to him. “We rounded up his lookouts.. it was just a bunch of kids, all of em…” he took a deep breath. “Carrillo… I thought we just.. were gonna bring them in..” he shook his head. You blinked rapidly as you put the pieces together. “I just fucking stood there. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t do anything.” He swallowed thickly.

You shook your head slowly. “Oh Javi… oh god I’m so sorry.” You let go of his hand and hugged him tightly, wrapping one arm around his shoulders while your other hand settled on the back of his head, running your fingers through the hair as he pressed his face into your neck and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, his shoulders shaking.

“I don’t deserve to have her in my life I’m just gonna fuck her up. I’ll fuck it all up. I fucked everything up in Colombia. They didn’t even fucking catch him until I was gone. I don’t wanna fuck her up.” You shook your head as he rambled. “Javi… you’re not going to fuck anything up.” You frowned and pulled back, cupping his cheeks.

“She loves you and that’s not gonna change and you’re not gonna fuck her up because she’s too stubborn to let anyone change who she is.” You told him sternly, rubbing your thumbs along his cheekbones. “You love her too, I know you do. You can’t be around her without loving her.” You laughed softly.

Javier chuckled and shook his head as he looked down, nodding this time. “Yeah I.. I do I just.. I don’t know how to be a dad.” You shrugged. “Were your parents always perfect at it?” You raised a brow. Javier furrowed his brows. “Life sucks. We know that. It’s up to us to make it suck less. We can either wallow in the shit that isn’t our fault-“ you poked his chest a couple times.

“… or we can make the best of the situation at hand.” You smiled softly and Javier felt his heart jump in his chest and before he could stop himself he was clashing his lips into yours.

You gasped and grabbed his shoulders but quickly eased into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, letting your mouth fall open when he traced your lips with his tongue.

He tasted like you remembered, but less cigarette taste this time, the smokiness was still there but it was accompanied by a new minty sort of flavor.

The kiss didn’t go much further than this, one of his hands on your cheek while the other explored the expanse of your body, gripping lightly at your hips and breasts, moaning softly into eachother’s mouths.

Soon he had you laid back on the couch, his body lined along yours, draping over you and surrounding you in his wonderful scent and warm body. He made no movements to put his hands under your clothes, not wanting to push anything too far considering he hadn’t even thought this was going to happen. He’d planned to be a gentleman about the situation.

As it dawned on him he leaned back and panted softly. “Sorry.” He looked down at you, swallowing thickly as you shook your head quickly. “Don’t be sorry.” You shifted under him, your face and neck burning.

“I just- obviously I like you.” Javier chuckled and slowly moved off of you, taking your hand to sit you up. “I don’t wanna fuck it up, though and I was hoping… you would let me take you out?” He licked his lips.

“Just me and you- I mean I love Valeria but I… I wanna take you out, get to know you. I planned to in Colombia but… I never had any fucking time.” Javier took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “So… if I.. make us reservations.. would you wanna go to dinner with me?” He asked hopefully.

You looked at him quietly for a second before slowly starting to smile. “Javi… Javi I would love to go to dinner with you.” You reached out and grabbed his hand again, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I’ll have to find a babysitter for Valeria. But I would love to.” Javier grinned and nodded. “Great.” He said softly.

As he looked at you he felt that bubbling in his stomach again, that urge to pull you in and wrap your bodies together for the rest of the night. “… I should probably go.” He said softly, squeezing your hand as you nodded. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

Javier smiled and stood up with you, walking out to his truck and turning to you as he opened the door. “I had a great day. Thanks for letting me meet her.” “Of course, Javi.” You laughed softly and shook your head. “Except- you can’t get rid of us now. You’re stuck.”

Javier laughed and nodded. “Good.” He teased, chewing on his lip before gently pulling you close to give you one last long kiss, sighing happily against your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist. You smiled against his lips and cupped your cheeks gently before pulling away, feeling your cheeks warm up as you laughed softly. “Okay go. Get away.” You teased, pushing him into his truck as you stepped back. “I’m gonna savor my peace and quiet. Maybe I won’t wake up with feet in my face tomorrow but I doubt it.”

Javier chuckled and nodded. “Alright, alright. Bye.” He got in his truck and started it, pulling out of the driveway as you waved, making your way inside. As you turned you made eye contact with Mrs. Sanders next door, a friendly old woman whose husband died not long before you moved in. Suffering an empty nest she was always eager to have you and Valeria over for dinner. When you looked at her she smirked at you and waved. You felt your cheeks warm up as you shook your head and went inside your house.

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When you got up the next morning you decided you'd spend the day buying a new outfit and making yourself not look like a tired mother for your date with Javier. As you got Valeria and yourself ready you couldn't stop thinking about the kiss, how any kiss since that night with Javier had seemed lackluster and... boring, how no man could make you feel the way Javier had even when you'd just been talking. And then how everything you’d thought you weren’t going to feel again was flooding your system, swallowing your sound and smothering you. He'd consumed every waking thought since that night and it had drove you crazy until you got another taste.

Once you and Valeria were dressed, you made your way next door to Mrs. Sanders, you knew she'd have questions about what she saw and you knew as soon as she heard the full story, she'd be taking Valeria and rushing you off to get ready for your date.

When you got to her porch she yanked the door open before you were even full onto it, which made you laugh. "Waiting for me, were you?" "Of course not, I just have a keen sense for visitors." Mrs. Sanders teased as you set Valeria down to greet her. The two hugged and then Valeria was sprinting off when Mrs. Sanders told her she already had Elmo in her VCR, which you'd taught her how to use when you'd learned she bought one so Valeria could watch her cartoons at her house as well.

"Now that she's occupied..." she pulled you to the kitchen where she had tea and cookies waiting for you, a glance into the living room would tell you Valeria was enjoying her own milk and cookies. "Who on earth was that handsome cowboy you had at your house last night?" You laughed and shook your head. "How do you know he's a cowboy?" "The way he walks- and by golly the way he kissed you." She fanned herself with a napkin. "Reminded me of my Randy before he passed." You raised a brow. "How long before he passed." She smirked at you this time and shook her head. "Enough about me. Who was he? An old flame? A new flame? No, not new, not with the way you looked eachother, held eachother. Tell me." She grabbed your hand, not even letting you get a word in to tell her.

You felt your cheeks warm up as you shook your head, laughing shyly. "... that was Valeria's dad." She gasped loudly and grabbed your hands tighter. "What?!" She practically screeched. "Oh, dear, why is he here?" "Well- I don't.. really know. I guess he grew up here before the whole… Escobar thing." Mrs. Sanders knew you’d met him in Colombia, knew that he was a DEA agent, but you still hadn’t shared his name with her yet, you weren’t sure why, maybe you wanted to keep him to yourself for a bit. You could see the gears turning in her head, though, and then she gasped again. "Javier Peña? Is that who that was?"

You blinked rapidly, opening and closing your mouth. "... how do you know Javier?" "Oh, gosh, I grew up with his parents, dear, look at me! I'm an old lady. not very many people here I don't know something about. I forgot he's been in Colombia! Oh his poor father Chucho must be so happy to have him home again. Gosh I need to call Chucho its been weeks." "Mrs. Sanders-" "Didn't I tell you to call me Sandy?" Sandra Sanders, you'd laughed a little when she'd introduced herself, you were lucky enough that she had the same sense of humor about it.

".. Sandy." You laughed as she gave you a smile and a nod. "Um... part of the reason I came over here was... because Javi wants to take me out, he’s supposed to call me with the reservation and everything later but... I have nothing appropriate for date night, my nails look horrible, I need to get my hair done, and I can't do that and keep Valeria occupied so I just... I was hoping you could watch her for a few hours?"

Sandy smiled and nodded. "Of course i can, darling." Her smile got wide and it was obvious she was excited for you. "Oh I'm so happy for you, dear. From what I remember Javier is a wonderful boy, he was young when I saw him last but his parents did a god job raising him. You'll be good for eachother. It'll be good for you to get out of the house, too, have some adult fun." You felt your cheeks get hot rather than warm this time and started shaking your head as Sandy smirked and the two of you stood up.

"Sandy.." "Alright, go on, say goodbye to your amorcita and then go be a singulatory adult human for one afternoon." Sandy waved you to the living room and you shook your head as you went over to Valeria, kissing her cheek. "Have a good day, Muñequita, I'll see you in a few hours." "Bye, mommy, be safe." Valeria barely returned your kiss, eyes glued to the television.

You stood up and shook your head before looking at Sandy. "Try and take her outside a little bit? I hate when she tries to watch tv all day." "Of course, now go, go." Sandy ushered you out the door, laughing.

You said one last goodbye and watched the door close before going to your car and driving into town, deciding to stop and get your nails done first, after standing there for almost an hour you decided on round semi-long French tips, which got you some annoyed scoffs but you tried not to let it bother you too much as you sat down and watched the nail tech work.

After your nails you went to get a dress and new shoes, which wasn't too hard since your nails didn't have any colors you had to match, eventually going with a dress that was about mid-thigh, with a halter top neckline, and a color that make your eyes and skin practically shine, you decided on a pair of shoes in the exact same color, as you were paying you heard your phone start to go off in your purse. You smiled apologetically and pulled the little cord out, flipped it open, and put it to your ear. "Hello?"

"Querida." "Javi. Hi." You smiled widely, paying the cashier before taking your dress and shoes and leaving. "Hey. What are you up to? I don't hear Valeria." You laughed softly. "I stuck her with the neighbor so I could do some shopping without worrying about her slamming into any dangerous strangers." You teased as you walked out of the store.

"Are you saying I'm a dangerous stranger?" You could hear the grin growing on his face. "You're a dangerous half stranger." You teased as he laughed on the other end, then you heard some rustling, a curse, and wind. "What was that?" "Nothing. It's nothing." You heard him mumbling, though, and heard the name Steve before he was speaking to you again.

"So- I made the reservations- uh- I didn't know when was too soon but uh... I was thinking in a couple days? I'll have the day off so I won't have to rush off of work. Like... seven o'clock?" "Yeah that sounds great, Javi." "Great." You smiled. "Great." "... great." You laughed and chewed on your bottom lip lightly.

"So, uh.. what did you buy?" You looked down at the bags in your hand and laughed. "A new dress and a new pair of shoes." "Seriously? You didn't have to go out and get-" "Trust me, yes I did. I don't own clothes that are even remotely appropriate for a place where you have to make reservations, Javi." You snorted. "I liked what you wore yesterday."

"And I'm sure the host at whatever place you chose would feel the same." You shook your head a little. "Ah, whatever." Javier chuckled and you heard a few hushed angry whispers before he was sighing heavily. "I'm sorry, Querida. But I have to go commit a workplace homicide right now, so I'll see you later." You laughed and hummed. "Uh-huh. Go get 'em, killer." "Steve I swEAR TO G-" You heard right as Javier slammed his phone down and shok your head, laughing as you dialed your hair salon to make an appointment.

An actual date with Javi.

You had an actual date with Javier fucking Peña!

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Is this a series now?

#pedrohub #narcos #pedro pascal #javier peña x reader #javier peña #narcos fic #Javier Peña narcos #Javier Peña Pedro pascal #narcos fanfiction

[joshsindigostreak]

I See Hell in Your Eyes

Chapter Eight

“I’m so heavy in your arms.”

Josh Kiszka x Vampire!Reader

Authors Note: Helloooooooo! This has always been the chapter I’ve been wanting to write from the beginning, and I can’t wait to share it with y’all! Please give me your feedback after you’ve read it! I love hearing y’all’s thoughts. Also keep your eyes peeled because there are hints at Sam’s story and Danny’s story towards the end! (Ideally I want all four of them to get their own story in this universe ❤️) Onward!

Word Count: 6,714

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of blood. This one is SAD y’all so bring the tissues. No smut in this chapter.

The ride to Dimitri’s manor was a quiet one. Josh sat close to you in the back seat, never taking his eyes off the two men up front. One hand was resting on your thigh, the other was holding your other hand in his lap. It didn’t take a Vampire to feel how fast your pulse was racing, or how your anxiety was so high you were completely silent. His thumbs rubbed comforting circles wherever they could reach, trying to calm you down. Despite your hunter’s efforts, your mind would not stop circling the drain with every worst case scenario. You were dead. Truly dead. Josh will be too. Dimitri knows. He knows you committed high treason against your own kind. Monica was right, they’d have you Meet the Sun for this. 

You had seen first hand over the decades what Dimitri did to traitors. He wasn’t flashy about it, having an audience was never the point. But he always made sure to hit where hurt the most. Right now? That place was Josh himself, and you knew that Dimitri knew that. You were so fucking stupid, of course he would see through that entire sham at the Den. 

The black SUV you were traveling in took a sharp left turn, swiftly taking you out of the city. Even though Dimitri was at the Den most nights, his actual residence was far out of town. He preferred to spend his nights off away from the hustle and bustle, in his sprawling estate that few had seen in person, and even fewer had lived to tell about it. 

Another turn, this time onto a side road that wound itself through the forest. The trees swallowed any lingering light from the city, leaving the SUV in its own bubble. The road narrowed the further you went, and started to incline. It wasn’t very mountainous outside of the city, but there were plenty of hills. Steep ones, with plenty of cliffs tall enough to get the job done. Your body didn’t produce bile the way humans did, but you swallowed whatever you had in your throat that threatened to bubble up into your mouth. 

Josh, in the way he knew best, tried whispering comforts in your ear, which you faintly heard through the roaring in your ears. You felt his lips caress your ear as he spoke, those plush, perfect lips that mere hours ago were claiming you as his. You tried to remember the last kiss you had shared with him in your bed. A soft but secure kiss before you slumbered in  his arms. You closed your eyes and melted into him, tempted to take off the seatbelt and crawl in his lap for the remainder of the drive. He peppered kisses into your hair and on your cheek, trying to find something that calmed your fears. 

The narrow road suddenly opened up into a sprawling driveway, a semi-circle pavement monstrosity complete with an obnoxious fountain in the center that the SUV peeled around. Of course Dimitri would be the only address on this road. The literal end of the line. The vehicle lurched to a halt before the driver shut it off and calmly exited. The door to the right of Josh was yanked open, and both of the men were standing on either side, waiting for you to exit. Josh laced his fingers in yours before getting out first and helping you out. He refused to let go of your hand for a second. 

The chilly night air nipped at your legs as you gazed upon the impressive manor. It consisted of  three floors above ground, but you recalled rumors of an extensive basement system down below. 

The Gothic architecture was almost too on the nose, something that Josh whispered in your ear, “the only thing he’s missing is a giant neon sign that says ‘a vampire lives here’ with a massive arrow pointing to the house.”

You bit your lip to keep from smiling, “he really leans into the stereotypes…” 

The feeling of normalcy between you two was short lived, as the two henchmen ushered you up the stone steps leading into the manor. You weren’t a runner, but the fight or flight response was nearly impossible to ignore at this point. A simple squeeze of your hand by Josh brought you back to reality. The heavy wooden door was pulled open by one of the men, his hand gesturing for you two to enter. Because a Vampire owned this house, formal invitations weren’t necessary. Josh entered just a step ahead of you, preparing to get in the way of anything that could potentially attack. 

However, the two of you were met to an empty foyer that opened up to a grand entrance hall. The hall was flanked by two massive identical staircases that mirrored each other and met at a shared landing high above you. The room was lit with flickering lights that mimicked candlelight, another way Dimitri stayed on theme. 

The front door closed loudly behind you, leaving you alone and in complete silence. You heard familiar classical music being played down one of the halls, but you didn’t have much time to figure out exactly where when you heard the tapping of footsteps marching towards you. Within seconds, a Vampire in his fifties appeared at the bottom of the stairs, staring at you both with an unreadable expression. You could feel Josh jump a little at his sudden appearance, as most humans weren’t used to the fact that sometimes Vampires just…appeared at times. This habit along with the super speed was what started the false rumor that Vampires could teleport within shadow. 

It took you a second to recognize him but it dawned on you, “it's been a long time, Phillip.” 

The Vampire grimaced at your words, as he had never been very fond of you, “Dimitris would like to see you both in his study.” 

You kept your gaze steady, not wanting Phillip of all Vampires to see you nervous, “lead the way.” 

With a slight huff Phillip turned on his heel and led the two of you down the main hall to the right. As you walked, the sound of classical music met your ears, letting you know you were close. With Phillips walking in front, you took your chance and slid your hand into Josh’s with a firm grip. He squeezed back, and ran his thumb up and down the side of your hand. Phillip took a sharp left turn down a dimly lit corridor and the music grew louder. Ahead of him you could see flickering light pouring out of an open doorway. This was it. 

He stopped in front of the door and ushered the two of you inside, where you found Dimitri lounging on a Victorian couch. He was staring into the roaring fire, his expression unreadable. 

Dimitri briefly looked up to acknowledge your presence before sitting up straighter and squaring his shoulders, “ Leave us, Phillip. I wish to speak with them alone.” Phillip gave a curt nod before disappearing down the dark corridor. Dimitri gestured to the identical couch across from his, offering you and Josh a seat. His eyes were fixed on your joined hands as you sat down. 

“Always a pleasure, darling.” You nodded, words failing you. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you here. I apologize for the short notice but…the matter could not wait.” He smiled softly at you, continuing to study you both. “I feel we shouldn’t beat around the bush and get directly to the matter at hand.”

You gulped and didn’t care if he saw it or not.

“How long have you known, Mr. Kiszka here?” You knew it was coming, but him saying Josh’s name made your blood run cold. Before you could answer he said, “you almost had me with that fake name at the Den…but when I tasted his blood I knew right away who he was. Well, what family he came from, at least.”

“How-,” Josh interjected. 

“Oh my dear Joshua, your great-grandfather’s blood tasted very similar,” he said matter-of-fact. Josh glared at the Vampire as his hand tensed in yours and you felt his whole body become rigid. “I’ve come across your family many times, but I’ve always eluded them of course,” a cool smile spread across his face. “Which is why it was so…interesting of you, darling, to bring one of them into my Blood Den under a false identity. I would even venture to say it was out of character.” 

“Dimitri I-”

The older Vampire wasn’t finished, “however, it might surprise you to know I had no intention of doing anything about your little…indiscretion…for the time being. In fact I fully planned to merely observe how many times you’d bring your little hunter friend amongst us Vampires. Now, the real plot twist was you feeding on him the other night. That I did not expect at all. But the best part was that little Joshua here was enjoying it…” He smirked at Josh, who continued to glare at him.

You tried to keep your voice steady, “but if you weren’t going to do anything about it, then why are we here?”

Dimitri nodded and leaned forward, “yes the wrinkle in all of this was that someone went behind my back to the Council and told them everything.”

“Who the fuck-,” you started.

“You’ve probably noticed that Yvonne isn’t here tonight? Well, it seems someone got a little impatient in my promise to eventually turn her and she tried using this delicious piece of information to hopefully convince a member of,” he stopped to chuckle lightly and pinch the bridge of his nose, “the Council of all groups to turn her instead.” 

Your eyes widened at the stupidity, there was no way the Council would turn a human for this. They were even more selective than Dimitri when it came to creating new Vampires. Yvonne had to be extremely desperate, stupid, or both to pull this move. 

“I mean maybe it's my fault for keeping her around for nearly a decade on the promise of turning her? Humans are such impatient creatures,” he flicked his eyes back at Josh, “no offense.” 

“What did the Council say to all of this?”

“You’re both in luck that I have a few friends on the Council that came directly to me with Yvonne’s betrayal, and thus a warning as to what they said to do about it.”

It was a good thing you were already sitting down, but Dimitri’s habit of drawing things out was making your anxiety so much worse. 

“The first thing they did was tell me who the informant was. Yvonne was…quickly dealt with,” his voice trailed off, but you knew better than to ask the how and what about that situation, “and after that, they gave us a few options going forward.” 

You could feel your hunter's hand going clammy, and his heartbeat could be heard over the crackling fire. 

“The first option, and the one they wanted the most, was for you to Meet the Sun, darling,” for the first time in decades, you saw sadness creep into his eyes, “the second option of course, was just to flat out kill our dear Joshua. Both options had the obvious caveat of having you watch each other’s death. Which would then lead to the death of the one watching. So essentially it was more of a ‘who first’ matter.”

“Oh…,” it was all you could say. It was what you were fearing, but finally hearing Dimitri say it out loud made your vision blur and your knees shake. 

“But,” Dimitri sat back against the couch, a satisfied grin replaced the sadness, “I had an even more poetic idea.”

“What could be more ‘poetic’ than that?” The sarcasm dripped from Josh’s voice. 

Dimitri held his hands out, palms facing the two of you, as if he was telling you to brace yourselves, “why, stripping the Vampire Hunter’s humanity away, of course!” 

“What,” you squeaked out. 

“...and as a cherry on top, having you be the one to turn him!”

Your ears started ringing, “excuse me?”

“Oh think about it, darling. Turning not just any human, but a Kiszka? Do you know how many Vampire’s have tried to do that very thing and failed?”

“I can think of a few,” Josh deadpanned.

Dimitri gave Josh a look but continued, “you see, the worst way to insult a hunter, especially one from a family line,  isn’t to kill them. Hunters love dying for the cause. No no, it's turning one. Why? Well darling I don’t know if your little friend here has told you, but they view being turned as a fate worse than death. In fact, they even view the mere suggestion of allowing a hunter-turned-vampire to exist as a walking advert of their failures. Isn’t that right, dear Joshua?” 

Josh stilled next to you. It was true.

“Nothing worse than the hunter becoming the hunted, eh,” the older Vampire said with raised eyebrows. 

You had to be hallucinating. This was all some wild nightmare you were having. Any second now you’d wake up in Josh’s arms, safely shielded by the sun in your bed. You dropped your face into your hands, rubbing your eyes but when you opened them you were still sitting in Dimitri’s cliched study. 

“And if we don’t take that option,” you asked, still not believing what you were hearing.

Dimitri’s expression grew serious, “then as I said before, it would only be a matter of…who goes first.” 

Josh stared at the ornate rug under his feet. The thought of you burning from the sun again made him nauseous. He could still hear how your skin sizzled and cracked open, the gasps of pain and the whimpers you tried to hide. The thought of you being held out in the open, more than likely in front of an audience, while you slowly burned to death, especially because of him, made the bile rise in his throat. The dream that he had had the first time he slept next to you invaded his mind, and he visibly shuddered. But on the other hand…if he agreed to this, to being turned, how would he tell Jake? Or Sam? What would he say to them? 

“...and there’s really no other way?” Josh asked the obvious, but he needed to express it out loud. 

Dimitri shook his head, “if I don’t give the Council a decision they’ll make one themselves, and I can promise that you don’t want it to get to that.” 

Josh nodded his head, the skin on the back of his neck prickled hot, and he swallowed hard, “fine.” 

You snapped your head to your left to look at him, “what do you mean, ‘fine’?”

“Turn me,” he slowly swiveled his gaze, meeting your eyes for a second before looking back at Dimitri, “I want her to do it, no one else.” 

Dimitri sat back with a satisfied smile, “I knew you were smart, dear Joshua. She must mean a lot to you in order to give up your humanity like this.” 

You stared at your hunter, tears filling your eyes, “no…” Painfully, a memory surfaced in your mind, from that first night in the Den. The brief banter you exchanged while you were explaining your favorite cocktail to him.

“A-Negative pairs really well with whiskey. Robust but not overpowering, gives you a great buzz. It's a shame you can’t find that out for yourself with your…humanity and all.” 

Josh gave you a flat look, “I like my humanity just fine.”

“Suit yourself…though a hunter turned Vampire would be hilariously ironic.”

It was just a joke on your end, something silly to loosen him up, but now the words burned in your throat. 

“You’re not dying because of me,” his words shook you from your thoughts. 

“You don’t know what you’re asking for…”

“Out of our options…this is our only option, sweetheart.” 

“I’ve never…I’ve never turned someone…” 

“But you know how, darling, you know the procedure,” Dimitri offered from his couch.

You turned to look at the older Vampire, “and you’re ok with this? Turning someone new?”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it to the Council if I wasn’t. Plus, imagine the business it would bring to the Dens I have? You two making an appearance? Think about it, the hunter who was willing to be turned to save a Vampire? And you, darling, the Vampire who tempted a hunter to want to be turned? You, turned a Kiszka? Vampires and their Human Companions would be flocking to get a glimpse of you. It would…add to the fantasy of theirs,” Dimitri couldn’t contain his excitement at the possibilities. 

“Fantasy,” you questioned. 

“Well, the human fantasy of one day…following in your footsteps…,” Dimitri countered. 

Having heard enough, you turned back to Josh, “are you sure?”

“Yes,” he made sure to look you in the eyes as he said it. He reached out, collecting your hands into his, driving home the fact he was serious. You instantly tangled your fingers around his, gripping him nearly too tight, but you needed to ground yourself. 

“Wonderful,” you vaguely registered the excitement emanating from Dimitri as he sprang to his feet, “now, I had a feeling this would be the decision and I already had a room upstairs ready for you both. Anything you need, darling, and it's yours.” 

You nodded numbly, not wanting to take your eyes off of Josh. Your chest didn’t know whether to heave or to cave in on itself. It was too much, it was all too much at one time. You tried to travel back in your mind to this morning, with Josh hovering above you in your bed. The last time things felt normal with him. The way the wall sconces scattered light through his curly hair, the heat of his skin against yours, the kisses he left all over your nose and cheeks, he was your gentle daylight. Your gentle daylight that you were cursing into never seeing the sun again. 

Before you knew it, Dimitri stood before you both with a warm smile not seen by many people. 

“Come on, I’ll show you to the room myself,” he offered, hand stretched out to the door. 

Josh was the first to stand up, his hands still clinging to yours as you left your seat. The both of you silently followed Dimitri out of the study, barely paying attention to where you were going. He led you down the corridor and up one flight of stairs and then another. Why he chose the third floor for this bewildered you, but knowing Dimitri there was a reason. The thick mahogany door was already open, and inside there was a large bed in the corner, flanked by two night stands. A chaise lounge was across the room, accompanied by an antique coffee table in front of it. On both the coffee table and the night stands were stacks of towels and rags, presumably for any spilled blood. But in the far corner of the room, was a bay window that let you know you were in one of the turret rooms. Underneath the windows were bench seats built into the wall. 

Dimitri held up a small remote before placing it on the nightstand, “the sun will be up soon, so when you need the shutters you’ll have them.” Of course Dimitri would put sun-blocking shields on his windows. You don’t live as long as he had without crossing all your t’s and dotting all your i’s. 

“I umm…I have to call my brothers…,” Josh nearly stuttered out, looking at Dimitri. 

He looked skeptical at first but his expression softened, “very well, but if you attempt to bring the calvary here to save you, I can assure you it won’t end well for anyone involved.” 

With a deep inhale through his nose, Josh nodded, “understood.” 

Dimitri turned to you, “as I said in the study, anything you need, darling, and I’ll get it here. I have staff just outside the door, waiting for you.” 

“Th-thank you, Dimitri…,” you were still overwhelmed, the situation slowly sinking in.

“I’ll leave you to it then, I trust you know what to do,” his hand extended to your shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. You nodded in response, and he quickly left the room, shutting the heavy door behind him. The loud click of the lock nearly echoed, reminding you this was your only path forward. 

“I ruined your life…,” you whispered as you sat on the couch. 

Josh was still standing in the middle of the room, staring off into space deep in thought, but your words snapped him out of it and he turned his head to you, “no you didn’t.” 

“It was my idea to bring you to the Den, it was my idea to ‘team up’ it was-”

In three strides he was beside you on that couch, cupping your face in his hands, “and I agreed every single time, and made the choice to go with you.”

 

You couldn’t stop the tears spilling down your cheeks, and his thumbs dutifully wiped each one away, “if we do this, you won’t be able to go back to your family. At least, I don’t know how they’d react-”

Josh sniffed, “I’m going to call Jake and Sam before anything happens…I don’t…I don’t know what I’m going to say but I have to let them know it’ll be awhile before I come back home.” He was trying so hard to be strong in your presence, to not let the situation get to him, but his hands shook against your cheeks, and he struggled to get his words out. 

“There’s something else, Josh,” he looked at you in confusion, “not every- not everyone who gets turned takes to their new existence well. It's not something one can predict beforehand, it's almost random in how new Vampire’s navigate the world.”

“You turned out fine,” he countered.

“Barely. Remember when I told you that the first decade was rough? I meant that. I wasn’t taught skills or control because my Maker-”

“Then I will be lucky to have a Maker as thoughtful as you to teach me how to correctly survive.” His eyes never left yours and his thumbs never stopped rubbing your cheeks. 

You wanted to smile at his confidence, but you needed to voice the elephant in the room, “Vampires like Ethan aren’t exactly…rare either…”

He understood what you were trying to say, “if I end up like Ethan…I’ll need you and Jake to do the right thing…” 

This made you crumble even more, “I’m not strong enough to do that…” 

His face got even more serious, “yes you are, and don’t forget that. I’m going to go call my brothers…and then we can get started, ok?”

With a shaky breath, you nodded. His hands left your face, and you deflated a little from the loss. He fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed as he stood up, making his way to the bay window and looking out into the night. The moon was full, but low in the sky, indicating that the sunrise was closer than he thought. 

After three rings, Jake picked up, “do you know what time it is? Some of us like sleeping at night.” The watery breath Josh exhaled into the speaker made every alarm bell go off in Jake’s head, “what's wrong? Did something happen?”

“No…but, well yes, but not what you think.”

“Josh, what the fuck are you talking about?” 

“We got caught, Jake. They umm…they figured out who I was and we were both brought in-”

“Brought in where?” Josh could hear rustling on the other end of the phone, indicating Jake was sitting up on the air mattress. 

“Just…some high level Vamps gave us an ultimatum and I took it.”

“Not their stupid fucking Council? Those fucking ghouls. What was the ultimatum?”

This was it, he had to tell him, “...that if I don’t want to be killed…I have to be turned…”

There was a deafening silence on the other end of the line, with only a gruff, “are you fucking kidding me,” to cut through it. 

“Turn your location on, I'll come get you.”

Josh looked up at the ceiling, eyes watery, “you can’t do that, man.” 

“The fuck you mean I can’t? I’ve gotten you out of worse.”

“They’ll kill you on the spot, and trust me the place I’m at has the muscle to even take you down.”

Another long silence, “...so you’re just going to roll over and let them turn you into one of those things? ‘Cause from how I see it, you’re getting killed either way.”

“Jake-”

“You’ll have to watch me get older than you and eventually-” his tone was becoming frantic. 

“We’re not going to think about that right now. This is my only chance. I’ll be…different but I’ll still be here.” 

“Who's doing it?” Now it was Josh’s turn to not speak, “oh how fucking poetic. They’re having her do it?! I knew it. I fucking knew it. You don’t think this was her plan all along?” 

Josh looked at you over his shoulder, you were still sitting on the couch with your hands in your lap. Because of your hearing, you were able to hear everything Jake said, and that last accusation made a fresh batch of tears roll down your face. 

He turned back around, beginning to get pissed off, “I can promise you it wasn’t.” 

After a few heavy breaths into the phone, Jake said, “...when is it happening?”

“Tonight.”

“I just…I don’t know what to say.”

“Me either, honestly.” 

“Mom and dad…wait, have you called Sammy?”

“No not yet, I was about to.”

“Please make sure you do, I don’t want him hearing about this second hand from anyone. You know how he gets....”

Josh nodded, “I know…”

“After you…afterwards…then what?”

Josh shrugged, “they made it sound like I was basically free to go afterwards…that my ‘new existence’ would be punishment enough.”

Jake revisited the same thoughts Josh had had downstairs in the study. Hunters viewed being turned as the ultimate failure, a spit in the face of their life's work. Turning Josh would definitely make a statement, and a warning, to the entire hunter community. 

Jake turned the phone to hide the sniff he made, but Josh heard it anyway, “I need you to come back as soon as you can, got it?”

“I will, I just…can’t promise you when that’ll be.” 

“Just promise me you’ll come back.”

“I promise.”

“I’m not saying ‘goodbye’ either, I can’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t want you to,” Josh sniffed again.

“Call Sammy,” was all Jake said before he hung up. Josh knew he didn’t hang up to be rude, but he knew his twin couldn’t handle this information. He instantly dialed Sam’s number, but it kept going to voicemail. He called him five more times, before sighing in defeat and settling for a voicemail. He felt horrible that he had to leave it at that, but it didn’t seem like Sam was anywhere near his phone. He glanced at the sky, noting the full moon again. This also meant that Sam’s best friend, Danny, wasn’t able to be reached tonight either. Fuck. The phone beeped and he began his little speech, mumbling his way through it but trying his best to sound strong for his younger brother. Eventually he hung up and turned back to you.

“So…how does this happen?”

You gulped and stood up, walking over to him, “I umm…I have to d-drain you…completely, and when you’re at the brink of d-death, you drink my blood.”

Josh nodded, “and then?”

“You’ll fall asleep, and you’ll stay asleep for at least a few days. It differs from person to person. I was out for at least two nights. And even after that it's common to sleep a lot those first few weeks as your body changes and adjusts.” You reached up and cradled his jaw, “but don’t worry, I won’t go anywhere. You’re not leaving my sight the entire time.” 

Overwhelmed by it all, Josh crashed his lips into yours, needing something to ground himself. You kissed him back, pouring every bit of emotion you could into it. 

Eventually he pulled back just enough to say, “how do you want to do it?” 

“Any way you want, honestly,” you looked over at the bed, “the bed would be the most comfortable.”

He nodded, “ok then, the bed it is.” He walked over and stripped off his shirt and shorts, leaving himself in his underwear as he started turning down the thick covers. He wasn’t sure how much blood there would be, but if the amount of towels on the nightstand and coffee table were any indication, it wasn’t going to be a ‘clean’ process. 

Following his lead, you took your own shirt off and shimmied off your leggings, leaving yourself in your underwear and a random sports bra you found in your drawer. As you stood next to him, you realized both of you were a little stumped as to what to do next. Obviously knew what to do, but going about it was the question. 

While you pondered you glanced up at your hunter, and noted all of his earrings, “are those silver?” 

He nodded and then it dawned on him, “oh…I’ll have to take them out won’t I?”

“Yeah…but I can get you new ones. The holes won’t close up during…it all.”

Josh was a bit surprised, “really?” 

“Its weird I know but for some reason most piercings stay-”

“No I meant…you don’t have to get me new ones.” 

“Oh but I want to, they look so good on you,” finally, a genuine smile slid across your face. 

Josh started taking them out one by one and placing them on the nightstand. The second you smiled he relaxed a lot more. He needed normalcy. 

Wanting to keep the mood light, you reached up and gently touched the shaved sides of his head, “you’re also lucky I really like this haircut on you.” 

His eyes went wide as he dropped the last ear cuff on the wooden surface, “will it not grow back at all?”

“It will, just very slowly. Your fingernails will still grow too,” you reached out and threaded your fingers with his, another thought occurring to you, “you know…we never even really defined whatever this,” you gestured between you two, “is.” 

Josh stood there for a second, looking at you, before bringing both hands to your face and securing his lips to yours, he pulled away less than an inch from your face and said, “I think…you’re mine, and that's all that matters. Don’t you think so?”

Another real smile, this time closer to the smirk he loved so much, “mine?”

“Mine,” he whispered that word all over your face, planting soft kisses to any skin he could reach. Your arms wrapped around his waist, bringing him closer. His lips found home against yours, and for a few moments you lazily made out next to the bed. With your eyes closed, you were able to pretend for a moment you were back in his attic apartment, standing on those cold wooden floors about to be utterly taken by your lover on those god-awful plaid sheets. But as he pulled away, your eyes fluttered open, and the reality of where you were, and what you were about to do hit you again. A wave of emotion swept over you again, but you refused to let any tears fall. If you were going to be a Maker, you had to be strong for him. He needed you to be his rock right now. 

“I’m assuming the neck is the best place to umm…get it done?” 

Your eyes softened even more at him, “typically yes. The wrist is too slow and the thigh is too fast, the neck gives you the best control.” This was explained to you many times over the years by different Vampires. “I think…what would be the most comfortable, if you want, would be if I sat up against the headboard and you leaned against me?” 

“That makes sense,” he said quietly. 

You grabbed some of the towels and spread them out over the bed and pillows, just in case. When you were finished you turned back to Josh, only to find him walking towards the bay window. The sky was a soft pink, indicating the sun was rising. Carefully, you walked towards him, sticking to the shadows in the room. 

“I just…I needed to see it…” 

He didn’t need to explain himself to you, you understood. It was quite possibly the last time he’d be able to look at the sun without pain. His eyes were trained to the horizon, and as the sun greeted the new day, you finally got to see what those beautiful eyes of his looked in the sunlight. The wish you had made the night you met him in that bar. Those big brown eyes were illuminated into a molten honey color, and for once you were actually grateful for the sun to give this to you. 

He turned to you, giving you an even better view, “what?”

You shook your head from the still-shaded part of the room and smiled, “just looking at you, Boy Scout.” 

Josh gave one final look out the window, before turning away from it completely and walking over to join you in the shadow. He took your hand and led you back to the bed. You looked down at the little remote that Dimitri had left behind, and plucked it off the surface and studied it. There were only a few buttons on it, making it easy to decipher, and after hitting a few of them thick shades descended from the top of the windows, sealing them shut from the outside world. 

“Fancy…,” Josh mused as you turned on the nearest lamp. 

“He spares no expense,” you agreed as you crawled in the bed. You fluffed a few pillows behind you before fully sitting up against the headboard. Your hunter’s heartbeat sped up, you didn’t even have to try too hard to hear it. It made your own heart twinge, but you sat up a little bit more and held your hand out to him. He gladly took it as he got into the bed, turning around and leaning back against your chest. You softly brought your arms around his chest, giving him as good of a hug as you could in that position. He slowly tilted his head to the side, giving you full access to the left side of his neck. 

Your fingertips caressed his jawline while you stared down at him, “are you ready?”

“Is anyone?”

“If you need a few more minutes that's perfectly fine, Josh.”

“No no, I’m…I’m ready.” 

“Just remember, I’m not going anywhere.” He brought one of your hands to his lips and gave the back an open mouthed kiss before craning his neck and giving you one last kiss. Pulling away, he slipped back into position, and closed his eyes. 

Your fangs descended from your gums, and before you could hesitate even more, you drove them into the soft flesh of his neck. Josh flinched slightly, and you quickly gathered his hands in your free hand, letting him squeeze and cling as hard as he needed to. Your other hand continued to gently rub his jaw and cheek, comforting him as best you could. Draining someone was different from your typical feeding bite. You had to be more deliberate, with deeper pulls and less finesse. You couldn’t even enjoy the citrusy accents in his blood, or that fresh vanilla, no, you just had to get it all. 

Josh relaxed more in your arms as the draining progressed. You still paid close attention to his slowing heart rate, listening for the time you instinctively would know to give him your blood. It felt like it was taking too long and also flying by at the same time. As a Vampire, the whole process felt bizarre, but you were determined to get everything right. Your hunter deserved nothing but the best. 

~!~

Across the country, through a few different time zones, a young scholar was sitting across an icy blonde. Mounds of papers and stacks of books were scattered around the room, the only light coming from the various table lamps around the basement office. The scholar stood up to go to his other desk, and after shuffling around the stacks of documents he had been translating, he found his phone that had gone missing some hours before. The screen lit up with six missed calls from Josh, and a slew of texts from Jake telling him to pick up his phone. At the top of his notifications was a voicemail from his oldest brother. Confused, he unlocked his phone to listen to it. 

“Sam…Sammy it's Josh. I umm, I got into some trouble with this job, and I probably won’t be home for a while. I don’t need you to freak out, I’ve already talked to Jake. Call him after you get this, he’ll explain further. But umm….but basically I was given a choice. You know how Vampire’s can be…I’m sorry I’m being vague. But…I was going to be killed if I didn’t agree to…to be turned…and that's what's going to happen now. I wanted to tell you this myself, but you’re probably busy with your work. Which, sorry for always calling your college Hogwarts. You’re only one of us with any sort of degree, and I’ll always be proud of you for that. Sorry for stealing those files from you a few months ago, I’ll get them back to you, I promise. I’m not going anywhere, Sammy, but I’ll be…different from now on. But I’ll be back, it might not seem like it, I can promise you I’m in safe hands. This isn’t a goodbye, Sam, but I needed you to hear this from me before anyone else. I’m rambling now but…I love you-” 

The voicemail cut off, and Sam’s hands were shaking so bad the phone dropped onto the desk with a loud clatter, startling the blonde. 

“Sam, what is it,” she asked as she adjusted her cat eye glasses. 

He turned to her, knees suddenly weak, “I umm…I need to call Danny…I need Danny.”

She checked the time on her own phone and her heart sank, “Sam the moon is still out…”

The realization caused him to lean against the desk, and the sudden collapse had the blonde on her feet and over to him instantly. In the years she had known him she had never seen him like this, and she wondered what the hell he had heard on his phone. 

“Sam…come on Sam tell me what’s wrong,” he leaned down on her, burying his face into her shoulder. 

“I don’t know what to do…” he all but whimpered as his world as he knew it shattered. 

~!~

Josh’s heart rate was slow, so slow now, you knew it was time. Reluctantly you drew your hand out of his as you removed your fangs from his neck. Quickly you bit into your wrist, drawing blood and using your other hand to open his mouth. Your wrist rested against his lips as you made sure to drip as much of your blood as you could into his system. You began to worry when he didn’t react to the blood, but within seconds you felt his lips seal against your wrist, and you felt him pull from you. Relief flooded through you and you whispered praises into his ear. You weren’t sure if he could hear you, but for both of your sakes you hoped he did. 

He started to relax again, and you knew he was about to fall into that deep slumber between being alive and…one of the undead. 

Before he slipped under completely, you whispered one last time, “now come back to me, Boy Scout..”

To be continued…

Tag List:  @dannyandthekiszkas , @gretasmokerising , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema , @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @ascendingtostardust , @mackalah , @andromeda-raine-gvf , @jake-kiszkas-smirk , @gracev0609 , @sacredjake , @earthlysorrows , @gvfpal , @myownparadise96 , @itsafullmoon , @gvfmelbourne , @twistedmelodies , @that-witchy-pan , @gold-mines-melting , @texas-bbq-pringles , @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface , @sadiechar , @char289 , @stardustvanfleet ,

#josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #i see hell in your eyes #my writing #my fics #enemies to lovers #slow burn #🩸🖤 #greta van fleet #josh gvf

[authorred]

Loki Laufey/Odinson NSFW HC’s cause I’m slacking off in class

This will definitely be NSFW (18+) so minors DNI (do not interact). Unless you do, which in that case I refuse to be held responsible for the content you consume.

Warning(s): NSFW

Superiority complex through the roof

I really want to say switch top

Has lacked true control and power his entire life, so allow him to take the reins every once in a while

However, his cockiness and brattiness can and should be tamed

Very servile when submissive--will pleasure you in whatever way he can, and you want

When he’s dominant, he’s calm and very soft. Rarely gets rough on his own incentive. You’d have to ask for it specifically and/or tell him it’s alright before hand

He’s probably more submissive than dominant, so if you want him to be your good boy, just lean up and purr into his ear how much he’s pleasuring you/how good he’s doing

He will melt and lose his dominant front

KISS HIS NECK NOW

Kiss the back of his hand whilst keeping eye contact. He won’t say it, but that gets him off

Call him ‘My Prince’

His favorite position in general would be underneath you

Ride him whilst he sitting or lying down, he will hold you and assist you if you want or need

Choke this whore

Quickest way to get him horny is to challenge him

Whether he wins or loses doesn’t matter, though if he loses to you that’s bonus points

If he wins his ego will go through the roof

If he loses, on his knees he’ll go

It really depends on your preferred dynamic tbh

He’s a complex person with a bunch of contradicting emotions and feelings

Sometimes he’ll sub and then decide to dom because he’s so used to submitting to others, it’s a habit to try and ‘be better’ than them, or ‘one up’ them in some way

If you want him to sub to you, not only do you have to show him he can trust and respect you, but you have to show him you’re worth it

Might cry one of the first times icl

Body worship, affirmations, praise

EMPHASIS ON THE PRAISE--PRAISE THIS GOD FOR THE LOVE OF DFGNJBHHNBUJGDTRHBUAREBH

If you ask him to fuck you over a desk or a table or on a piece of furniture, chances are he’ll do it

Emerald green lingerie, that’s it

Any lingerie you wear would get him to go awooga, but EMERALD GREEN would get him to bark without a doubt, that man’s a whore for that color

Look him dead in the eye, tell him ‘Kneel’ and he’ll give you that ‘really?’ look of his before obeying

Play with his hair, pull it, grip it, use it to guide him

Will whimper--MAKE him whimper--literally turn this god into a submissive whimpering mess

Slight mommy issues, but will never you call ‘mommy’

Will call you things like ‘My Princess’, ‘My Love’ ‘My Dear’, ‘Darling’, ‘Sweetheart’

Will use your actual name in times of intense of pleasure

Might not be into pegging that much? He might try, but there’s a bigger chance of him disliking it

Slap him (not too hard) when he brats. He’ll become shocked and that’s the perfect time to dom him

Sit on his lap and kiss his neck, he’ll be gone

He probably knows how to play some sort of classical instrument like piano. So, when he’s playing, come up behind him, wrap your arms around his waist, hickey up the side of his neck, and watch him mess up the entire song

Push him against the wall and boldly proclaim he’s yours

Soft touches and tender kisses between rough moments whilst fucking

Eye contact--a lot of it

‘My beautiful prince’ is his favorite compliment/name

He will get on his knees and kiss up your leg and slowly unclothe you if that’s what you desire

Absolute god at using his tongue

Hits that specific spot (regardless of what he’s using: tongue, fingers, dick) and keeps it up until you cum

He gets a bit lost with toys, and seems a bit offended if you bring it up first (he believes he’s all you need)

Will have to reassure him that toys are friends, not foes

After the first few minutes of disgruntlement, he does come to the quick realization of the possibilities

Will pleasure you the way you want with them 4/5 times

Wants to give and receive pretty equally if he’s not in a certain headspace

If you’re between his legs and you kiss his thighs, he’ll blush and tell you to ‘not do that’ only because he’s flustered

#marvel #Marvel Movies #marvel cinematic universe #MARVEL FANDOM #Headcanon #MCU loki #loki #loki of asgard #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki laufesyon x reader #loki x you #loki x female reader #fem reader #romance #relationship #loki odison x reader

[depressed-teacup-inc]

A double review because at this point, the show is just repeating itself

Alright so miraculous again decided to air two episodes at once, which ok, annoying as fuck for someone that times and reviews them, but we survive either way. Let’s go!

Confrontation

Alright, I’m officially renaming “Lila episodes” into “Lila and Chloe episodes” because literally Chloe has become the new Lila! Literally nothing that they do makes sense or has any reason beyond “they’re evil and hate marinette mwahahaha” and just exist to make marinette look better in comparison

(In case you’re wondering why they’re still around and what’s the point of Chloe and Lila, it’s because the minute they’re actually complex/compelling characters or they’re gone, Marinette’s actions and behaviors become way more awful in hindsight, so the show keeps these two around to make Marinette either a martyr or a hero)

Also nothing in this episode makes sense and constantly contradicts itself?

Like the entire premise of the episode being the students getting assigned to terrible high schools, but they never wanted to do these sheets in the first place? The lucky charms are suddenly magical shields, but then why wasn’t this discovered before? You’re telling me no one thought to encourage petiole away from being akumatized? And also, Lila’s plan is so flimsy and held by the thread that the students will just assume marinette did this for… basically no reason because they’re graduating

Also I don’t care what the episode argues, Damocles, André and Bustier all were shit role models and support systems for the students, and were a big reason as to why students were angry and akumatized in the first place, but sure let’s just pretend they’re good last minute you guys!

Anyways this sucked, next episode

Collusion

So… Adrien has officially been character assassinated by the show to have no personality beyond being love interest!

This happened in the last episode too, but you see it here so much as well! Like literally every minute of Adrien’s screentime, and every time he talks is somehow connected to marinette! Literally his father is sending him away to a private school in London (which honestly at this point with what marinette did to him, take the chance and run baby) which is supposed to be his worst nightmare, and rather then think about his responsibility to Paris as Chat Noir or his friends that he will leave or his sense of autonomy, all he can think about is “I’ll be separated from marinette🥺”

HE LITERALLY SAID HE ISNT SURE OF ANYTHING ABOUT HIS LIFE OR WHO HE IS BUT ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT HES IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL AND THATS THE ONE THINGS FOING IN HIS LIFE, LOOK AT WHAT THEYVE DONE TO MY BOYYYYYY!!!

And wasn’t perfect the very thing Adrien didn’t want to be perceived of that marinette constantly calls him? It’s giving putting someone on a pedestal and not seeing them for what they really are (the love square is literally high school sweethearts marrying tans divorcing in like 3 years)

Anyways, grieving Adrien’s personality aside, Chloe is demonized to the point of unrealistic, the one teacher who was actually being a decent teacher and not contributing to a system of corruption is now demonized out of nowhere too, Lila literally makes no sense (like that’s apparently not even her name? She goes by cerise in another school, and she has three moms WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS SHOW ANYMORE), Chloe is mayor now for some fucking reason (this is illegal), and André gets dumb redemption arc out of nowhere.

Mentioned I’m in the previous episodes too, but André is not a good person and the show keeps pretending he is? Like girl, man is confirmed to do corrupt horrific politician stuff, has had the chance to help and actually raise his daughter for years, but chose to neglect her after her mother abandoned her, and now pretends to be a good parent to a child that’s not even his own to feel better about himself, AND YET IM SUPPOSED TO THINK HES SYMPATHETIC AND GOOD? FUCK THAT!

Also real quick, what the fuck is up with the mayor controlling the school? Like initially I was think the reason Chloe has leverage in the school is that her dad, through big donations, basically controls the school board and who gets to do what, but it seems he’s just? Using his mayor powers? Like girl that’s not how being mayor works, you can’t just fire anyone like that, this is a very bad lesson in politics

But yeah. Both episodes awful.

The only good things I can take from here is that there’s finally a canonical lesbian couple that wasn’t constantly queerbated (I love Julerose, and don’t like Zoenette, but they’re both constantly vague and easily censored) and Juleka got some screen time.

(Also Luka and Adrien are officially in the “being Marinette’s love square character assassinated me till the point I have no personality outside of it” club)

Also if you’re wondering why I didn’t mention anything about the fights? They’re dumb, last like five minutes and take a back sit just to tell you how awful Lila and Chloe are.

#miraculous ladybug #mlb fandom #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ml rants #ml season 5 #ml collusion #ml confrontation #at this point I’m only here to see Gabriel die #also if the show even tries to make him sympathetic I will lose it #fuck all the parents and authority figures in miraculous #all me and my homies hate the parents and authority figures in miraculous

[skyland2703]

Javi x Amelia for ships 👀

What is this a joke 😭 I just know this essay is gonna get out of hand asdfghjkasdfghfds

OKAY SO I’m gonna try keeping other ships out of this, so it’s only just taking about Javelia

If you know me, you know I’m OBSESSED with this ship. This one ship that just takes my world by storm because of how badly I got obsessed with it. I don’t even know how it happened.

So you see, we see Amelia and Javi meet for the first time at Buzzblast. That is where the story begins. The “nice harmonica, catchy tune” line— and BOOM! Instant attraction. I believe Amelia saw him as a friend, initially, but she really did care for him— “best friend” even, maybe. But nothing more than that.

Javi, on the other hand, got OBSESSED. Not the bad kind, but the “I think I have a crush on you.” Obsessed. We see him teasing her, we see him showing up in places with her, we see them AS COWORKERS— they’re literally Co-workers OH MY GAWD— and we see them as rangers and as friends.

Javi supports her in her ghost hunting, he never pulls her down. She and Javi have a “we’re both made fun of because of what we like to do” kinda bond, Javi with his music, and his father not letting him live it down, and Amelia with Ollie criticising her every move. They support each other, Amelia acts like the #1 fan of Javi’s music and Javi is always ready for helping her hunt ghosts— he makes a fucking theme song for her ghost hunting programme!!!!! They have a “at least I got you in my corner” vibe to them that drew me to their ship in the first place. This kinda support, this kinda FRIENDSHIP. WHERE DO YOU FIND THAT!!!!

But BUT we see Javi showing the “more than friends” signs, and we see Amelia friendzoning him. If you notice, Javi stops showing the signs after she starts dating Ollie. There is just one??? Two?? Scenes??? Of them??? In the last couple episodes of DF— BECAUSE of what I believe, Javi respectfully abandoning his chase, like Theo did, as I mentioned in the Theo/Lily post— when he realises that Amelia’s affections lie somewhere else.

BUT THEN WE COME TO COSMIC FURY. We come to Amelia’s heartbreak, and we SEE Javi being there for her like no other member of the team is!!!!!! Because you see, Solon and Billy were making the morphers, Aiyon was busy @ Zayto, either looking/worrying for him, or with him. Izzy was with Fern. THESE TWO. HAD NOBODY ELSE. Only each other. And I believe, the bond forged in forced intimacy is the greatest bond of all, because it reminds you of the trauma you’ve suffered, and all of the things you went through together.

Amelia was hurt. Javi was injured. And Ollie was evil. The situation works out with such perfection, that when Amelia takes the role of The Red Ranger, JAVI, automatically, becomes her second in command. Now we all know how much I like the Leader x Second in command trope. Javi pitches ideas, he follows behind her, he acts as THE support system a leader needs in case things go awry.

But that’s not where this ends, you see? Because feelings MIGHT develop between them during all of this, but Amelia still has a boyfriend(?). Javi is still “that dorky friend” of hers in her mind.

THAT changes when he loses his arm. She gets respect for him, because all of Dino fury, Javi was just the “sexy lamp” of the team, the guy who crushed on Amelia, and “Izzy’s brother.” He did not have a proper standing of his own, but the way he goes out of the way to sacrifice himself? That opens a new avenue of his personality TO HER. It makes HER realise that “oh my god, I’ve been looking at a diamond in the rough, this entire time.” Because sacrificing yourself isn’t easy. Offering yourself for sacrifice TWICE?

Yes. Yes, that’s the turning point of Javi and Amelia’s relationship. The moment in episode 9, when Javi chooses to sacrifice himself, ONCE AGAIN. When he tells her, in episode 10, that he made it through once, he can do it again? And she looks at him with that “but at what cost, Javi?” And he laughs and tells her he’ll be okay? THAT WORRY IN HER EYES?!! THAT EXPRESSION THAT SMILE?!!? That was the moment Amelia realised she had not only fallen for him, but that she had fallen SO HARD. That she not only “loved him”, now, she also respected him more than she had EVER respected him in the past.

I feel like that RESPECT formed the basis of their bond after that. That they probably never went back to being “just friends.” Because while Javi had respectfully abandoned his chase, Amelia realised she could not let him go. He wasn’t someone she could EVER let go. All because of the way he had acted when things went awry.

While she stepped up to take the leadership of the team, he stepped up to offer himself for the taking. THAT forged their bond harder than steel. They were never going back.

I still feel like after cosmic fury, it takes them a little time to figure out their feelings, but eventually, they do. The love and worry Amelia’s eyes spoke no lies at that moment, and Javi too saw it. ONCE AGAIN ITERATING the Hindi dub made Javi say HE WAS *hER* JAVI

So yes, Tl;dr, they started out as friends, but situations made themselves so that they could not remain friends. They fell in love. Their love was too strong.

I SHIP IT OKAY 😭😭😭 They’re my #1 OTP.

LOOK AT THAT SMILE. Is that how friends look at friends?!!???!!?

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

#WELP I SAID this essay would get out of habd. #if you can read it kudos to you <3 #I believe I’ve never said all of this out loud #it feels very awkward and very 🙈🙈🙈 #power rangers #power rangers dino fury #amelia jones #dino fury #cosmic fury #power rangers cosmic fury #Javi garcia #Javi x amelia #Javelia

[what-gs-watching]

"It said quarter to five, but it was quarter to ass…"

I’m sorry but it’s time for a quick appreciation post for Community’s season 5. I realize I shouldn’t be watching Community yet again since I was just into it like eight months ago and obviously wrote a love letter to it  but we’re here already so deal with it. 

This is an incredibly deep cut situation, but I don’t care. Season 5 has some of my all-time favorite episodes, even if it’s likely a lot of people gave up on the show before it ever came out because Dan Harmon had left for season 4 and there was always so much upheaval around it even being renewed and blah blah AND Donald Glover left that season.

Which, I admit, was devastating. But even so, there are a bunch of gems in the 13-episode run. 

Starting with "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics", wherein the study group tries to FINALLY solve the case of the Asscrack Bandit, a shadowy figure who’s running around campus dropping quarters down unsuspecting asscracks. Literally, that’s the entire premise. The episode is based on movies like Zodiac, it’s dark and brooding and it’s fucking hilarious because everyone takes it so seriously and it’s a perfect Community homage. They had BEN FOLDS do two different songs to include in it and they’re catchy as hell, honestly they fucking slap, and I’m still not sure who I think is the asscrack bandit, and I hope to never find out. 

Another pure favorite is “Geothermal Escapism”, which is Donald Glover’s final episode, and a perfect way to send him off. Abed declares a school-wide game of “the floor is lava” and it’s such a good replacement for the paintball game episodes. As usual, everyone in the school is completely committed to the bit except for Britta for once, who’s trying to force the group to properly deal with Troy leaving, she’s the surprising voice of reason throughout and the loophole they come up with to help Abed deal with losing his best friend is so Community. I cry everytime I watch this one - literally, their relationship is so pure and beautiful and sweet and the episode is simultaneously fun and bittersweet. 

Also, we can’t forget about "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking". The only reason I love this episode is like, a fairly small part of the entire story, but it makes me hysterically laugh every time. The group has formed a ‘Save Greendale’ committee and Annie is off navigating the labyrinth of bureaucracy which leaves Jeff, Shirley, Chang and Duncan to pick a theme for the midterm dance. After Chang has a meltdown, they agree to his pitch of “Bear down for midterms” which no one understands, but they commit to it. Eventually, they find out why Chang was so insistent on the theme, and it’s not great. I honest to god still yell “BEAR DOWN FOR MIDTERMS” when I’m dealing with something I don’t want to do. Like right now, with the case study I’m doing for an interview process. My husband always knows what I mean, and I love it.

Finally gang, "App Development and Condiments". Fucking Meowmeowbeanz. This is the episode where the entire school gets caught up in a social media app that lets them rate each other, and the entire social ecosystem falls apart. The important part here is that this episode was made BEFORE that Black Mirror episode you’re thinking about. Community is streets ahead, and always has been. The commentary is scathing, and fucking hilarious. 

I have no real point to any of this, I’ve just been thinking about it for the past two days and I had to get it out. I can never sing enough praises for Community. I’ve decided on this (10th? 15th? who knows) rewatch that it is literally my favorite show in the world. Like, it’s my desert island show and my comfort show and my comedy show and my sad show. It’s my every show.

Community, oh how I love you.

#what g's watching #community nbc #troy and abed #community season 5 #comfort show #ass crack bandit #meowmeowbeanz #six seasons and a movie

[itlearns]

 “...Because you’re so God damn perfect and you know everything and have everything under control and…”

“Under control?” Mitsurugi snaps back. “I’ve been trained to do this for as long as I remember myself and you just decided to appear here out of nowhere and immediately got to the same position that I tried to get to for years. And you just improvise! I’m nothing in the courtroom without a thorough plan and you- You have no idea what are you doing, do you? I swear to God you just walk up there and tell the jury the first thing to come to your mind. And you look so… effortless. Do you know how much work I have to do to predict everything you might say so I wouldn’t look absolutely pathetic while you stand there with this perfect-bright-million-dollars smile of yours? I haven’t won a single case against you since then! And I have nothing except this job. None of your… Found family bullshit or whatever it is you have going on. You make my entire life look like a joke!”

“I’ve spent six fucking years in law school just so I could see your angsty ass again and you think your life looks like a joke?”

         Mitsurugi stops just for a moment and that is enough for Ryuuichi to strike back.

“And you know what? I DO have no idea what I’m doing. It hasn’t been a day in nine years that I haven’t thought of quitting all that. But then I see you and… and I…”

 “Don’t. Do not.” Mitsurugi growls, way louder than he usually does, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “God, why you just have to make it more difficult than it already is”.

“Oh, I’m the one making it difficult? I thought you died!”

         Reiji looks taken aback for a moment, when opens his mouth to say something, but Ryuuichi’s already too deep in it to stop. He would probably shut up if he looked at Mitsurugi’s face, but he does not. Does not want to look.  

“You literally left a note about choosing death and I really, really thought I lost you for good this time! And it’s been more than a YEAR. I’ve mourned and I… tried to move on and I had to carry one with my life and NOW you just decide to appear and act like this whole year haven’t even happened?!”

         A pause takes place.

         “Why did you care?”

         Naruhodou opens his mouth to tell him to go fuck himself and closes it instantly. It’s too much of a change of pace. Mitsurugi looks genuinely confused.

“What the hell does that supposed to mean? Why wouldn’t I care?”

“I have seemed too misjudge… your perception of the… situation”. Mitsurugi frowns, looking down.

“Oh, please leave the fancy words for someone else”.

Reiji sighs.

“We- Me and Franziska, we ran away sometimes. When it has gotten… too much. We would have to come back, of course. He knew we would. We would get hungry eventually. Returning meant admitting you have wronged the family and all you could do was just working twice as hard. No one said anything about it out loud, of course. I… didn’t expect you to… Take my depart seriously.”

Silence falls once again.

“I… want to punch you in the face so much”, Ryuuichi says, finally. It’s an absolutely sincere statement.

“It would be… well deserved”, Mitsurugi answers really seriously and firmly, closing his eyes and taking his glasses of, his eyelashes quivering a little.

Ryuuichi panics. He wasn’t really going to hit anyone. Definitely not Reiji. Definitely not in his stupidly precious face.

Ryuuichi leans forward, takes his hand in his and kisses Mitsurugi. Mitsurugi shudders with his whole body. It’s just a couple of moments. He barely responds. When Naruhodou leans back to look at him, he looks… Defeated. Not like he usually does. He does not look angry, nor frustrated, just… Lost. Hurt. Sad. His empty stare directed past Ryuuichi. His hand still clenches Ryuuichis’.

“Do you wanna know the thing I hate the most in all that?” Naruhodou says, “No matter for how long I’m away from you and no matter how much it hurts me, every time I get to see you again it makes me so happy I feel like an idiot. And it turns out that everything was worth it. Every time I think I’ve managed to move on and then… I’m so glad to have you back, Reiji.”

Mitsurugi manages to raise his gaze to meet Ryuuichis’. That’s the moment he realizes he’s been gripping his hand so hard it probably hurt and lets go so fast as if it burnt him, clenching his hand into a fist, pressing to his chest.

“I… would return eventually anyway. I don’t have anyone else to be with”.

“That’s a very roundabout way to say ‘I’m glad to be back with you too’”, Ryuuichi smiles with his perfect-bright-million-dollars smile. Reiji Mitsurugi capitulates. Reiji Mitsurugi won’t win a single case against that smile. 

#writers on tumblr #fanfic #sorta #a sketch you could say #ace attorney #narumitsu #wrightworth #I have decided I don't have to finish works to post them #there will be no proper begining nor logical structure #you're welcome #headcanons #mitsurugi reiji #naruhodo ryuichi #miles edgeworth #fan fact I didn't read first three games in english so I think “Miles” is the worst name adaptation option one could think of #fan fact n.2 in russian his surname is Katanara and it slaps #phoenix wright #no questions to him #he can pass #stupid babygirls in love

[chiangyorange]

Big Leo holding Raph and joking around with lil' Leo 🥺💜

RAPHIE!!!! I LOVE MY BIG MAN SM!!!!!! i love him i love him i love him i love him i love himmmmmmm

(v excerpts taken from ch7 v)

Before he responds Leonardo walks into the room. Under his arm is Raph, hanging there limply with a shocked expression. Leo reels at the sight a little bit. It looks like Raph is too as he jolts up. “Wait, you can actually carry me?” “I've been waiting for the perfect moment to!” The older turtle chuckles. “And I can do more than carry you, big brother.” He lets Raph down to the floor and crouches down forward for a piggy back ride. Raph gasps loudly and climbs on his back, locking his ankles together. Leonardo stands up with no struggle and Raph starts to pat excitedly on the older turtle’s shoulders. His older brother was wiggling, and yes, it’s fucking adorable! “Leo, Donnie, look!!” “We see that, bud.”

raph is literally so excited to be picked up, the last time he was picked up was from when april tried and he was like 11. yeah sure hes 17 now but that does NOT make him immune to having an indescribable amount of joy for being carried around like a ragdoll

he kicky his feeties

on the other hand, fleo wanted to return and thank raph in his own way. for protecting him, for taking care of him donnie, and mikey. and also as kind of an apology.

"let me carry the burden you do" is what hes trying to say here. and even to present raph, hes still taking care of fleo. raph cares about his brother so much it doesnt matter if fleo is taller than him now, that hes older with decades on him, that he survived a war.

fleo is his little brother and nothing is going to change that.

onto the leos !!

He sees in his periphery that Leonardo smiles wider. “Awe, you like me.” “Don’t push it.” Leo rolls his eyes. “It’d be shitty to demote you just because you're not from this timeline. If we did that, we’d have to do it to Case– Junior too. It wouldn’t have been fair.” “Whatever you say.” Leo snorts. “That being said, can you stop leering over in the shadows? It's actually terrifying.” “I can only do so many things in the lair before I’m bored again.” “And that means giving me a heart attack every time I go into a room? Put away your scary ass stare man, I swear your eyes turn red.” “I didn’t know you were so faint of heart.” “I should have kept you sedated.” Leo says, knowing he never once put him under sedation.

my dynamic of leos is very hard for me to describe personally. its not hostile, its just complicated, and even then "complicated" has too negative of a connotation.

leo is a person who latches onto family with his entire heart. he accepted karai as gramgram near immediately and we all know how fucked up about her death was on him and to the rest of the boys.

its different when its a version of yourself.

for me i didnt want immediate hostility(look away from the scalpel incident for one sec), because i saw some fics that go too hard into the "leo hates himself" angle and while not unsounded, it can be played straight and have a good payoff, it was NOT the tone i wanted in wmas. it wouldnt match the kind of complication im trying to give across here

pov leo, hes seeing himself as the pinnacle leader, from how casey described him, hes the Hero, this is the ideal of what he should be striving for.

but the person hes seeing in front of him is just a guy. leo saw him injured, resting on bed in the medbay, he saw him start to cry in raph's arms, he sees a father, he sees a confused and lost man in front of him.

in a way its pity. in a way he pities himself. fleo is tired and leo can clearly see that, cause hell, hes fuckin tired too.

“I should have kept you sedated.” Leo says, knowing he never once put him under sedation. “That’s called elderly abuse.” “And you’re how old?” “Do I really- okay I see that face, alright.” Leonardo moves his hand to cover Leo’s face and shoves him back. “You got me. Whatever, you absolute child.” Leo cackles.

and fleo's pov on the matter is, well, i kinda already typed it out all the way in chapter 5

The world of this timeline said that Leo will be able to make up for his mistake with the key. Not him, the world said. 

he looks at leo and feels so much pride, but hes scared that leo thinks less of him. leo managed to save the world and he didnt. and now hes here fucking up a perfectly good happy ending that didnt need to include him.

and on a little more selfish level, "why wasnt i good enough" fleo is thinking.

he doesnt think leo as the superior version of the two of them, but the fact still stands. one of them won. the other didnt. and he sometimes wishes he won too. its complicated.

they dont hate each other, not even a little bit. theyre too good of people to hate each other

#wmas asks #wmas creator commentary #we'll meet again soon

[starboundanon]

Hello!!

I'll start by saying that I love your fics and really like your blog ♥️ I agree with great part of your takes, especially about how dark of a character Anakin/Vader truly is, despite the fandom woobifying him! I also apologize in advance by how big this ask is 😭

That said, there's something that always made me curious and I'm burning to ask... You've said in a previous post that you didn't like how easily Padmé forgave Anakin for everything he did in canon, that you thought it was psychotic. So what separates Padmé's unconditional forgiveness of Vader's crimes from Luke's equally unconditional forgiveness, for you? I mean, both characters were personally, terribly hurt by Vader. I admit that my knee-jerk reaction when I see people with a similar opinion is always "oh, it's sexism, because Padmé is a woman and Luke is a man, and compassion from a man is revolutionary while compassion from a woman makes her weak" 🙄 but you've always seemed so sensible and reasonable and that can't be the case with you. So I'm genuinely curious about your perspective! Especially because you ship Vaderluke like I do, and Luke and Vader's relationship under romantic lenses gets easier to compare with Anidala.

(Also this entire ask works under the assumption that you do appreciate Luke's forgiveness of Vader, despite knowing he was a terrible father in canon—a far cry from fanon's Dad Vader—and obviously didn't deserve it. I got the vibe from your fics and your posts that you do! But if you don't and you think RotJ shouldn't have ended like that, actually, then I understand that I clowned and you can just ignore this 🤡)

I agree with you that a lot of the heat Padmé gets in the Star Wars fandom (while Luke is canonized for essentially carrying her legacy and vindicating her beliefs) is the result of sexism. But in my own experience within this fandom, anon, I’ve seen sexism against her in the opposite way that you’ve described, and it was that sexism that I was reacting to in the ask you’re referring to here, and the reason why I unintentionally sounded so snarly.

Playing that ask game came on the heels of reading post after post after post praising Padmé for her unwavering faith and loyalty, for her selfless forgiveness, for her unconditional love for her husband. And while, yeah, sure, those things are technically all virtues, praising a woman for having those qualities in response to her mass murderer husband slaughtering hundreds of children REEKS of sexism and tone-deafness to me.

Because that really is the perfect woman, isn’t it? She’s loyal to you no matter what you do, you are the only thing she wants in the whole galaxy (despite being rich, with an important, full-time career, pregnant, or a fucking QUEEN). She will defend you after you’ve physically assaulted her and die believing you were a good man. She will forgive you, love you unconditionally, ignore every single one of your red flags and literally die of a broken heart if you betray her. A flawless, devoted woman!

…At least, at the time of answering that ask, that was the spiel I had gotten from a myriad of stanakins, and from George Lucas’ writing after watching AotC for the first time. I was reactive and unnecessarily vicious in that ask — and I apologize for being that way — because I don’t think Padmé’s unwavering dedication to Anakin is admirable, anon. I think it’s unhealthy. And I LOVE that it’s unhealthy — I’m a darkfic writer, I love unhealthy ships! — but I was just so sick and tired of people giving Padmé the Virgin Mary treatment when her relationship with Anakin was fucking UNHINGED.

Luke’s forgiveness of Vader has its own undertones of unhealthiness, but it also has things Padmé’s doesn’t. Even when Luke can feel Anakin’s conflicted feelings through their Force bond, he still has moments where he doubts there’s actually still good in his father, where he declares him dead like Obi-Wan did, when he lashes out and tries to KILL him for threatening Leia — Luke forgives Vader, yes, but at least we get to see him being ANGRY with him. We don’t get that with Padmé. Anakin confesses to murdering Tusken children and Padmé looks at him like THIS for fuck’s sake

The only reason we don’t get to see Padmé pick up a blaster and aim it at his grinning face on Mustafar IS sexism, imo. She’s eight months pregnant! Where’s the rage? Where’s the resentment? She has none, she isn’t allowed any! Why? We can debate it till we’re blue in the face, but I will always consider it a massive disservice to Padmé’s character that she was denied the humanity Luke was given in the OT, to the point that her and Anakin’s relationship came across as so ridiculously codependent it was almost silly.

#herbie asks #anti anidala #tw sexism

[lallouette]

I saw The Outsiders musical last week and I’ve listened to the cast album a few times since it came out on Wednesday, and it’s so interesting how I’m still chewing on it. I’ve had the privilege of seeing a bunch of Broadway shows recently. One was just kind of bad and I forgot about it immediately. One was perfect, luminous, no notes, I gushed about it to everyone I know (Merry We Roll Along). This is the one I have the most thoughts about. It emotionally devastated me and a lot of aspects of it were really well done. Other aspects of it. . . I have thoughts about? Here are my not-entirely-sober, rambly thoughts about this show, beneath the cut bc this is gonna get long and no one asked for this (also spoiler warning just in case): 

-I was able to buy into it, but it took me some time to get there. The first little bit had me skeptical. By the time they were at the drive in (fourth song) I was like, okay, I’m definitely down with this. The book also has a lot of exposition up front, but it’s a LOT of exposition in the show.

-I was wondering how they were going to handle profanity, given that the book has a lot of “he swore” and the movie is very tame on that front. They say fuck multiple times, which is. Very much warranted given the situations that they’re in but it did surprise me a little!!! Also somebody makes a reference to eating pussy in like the second song which was WILD

-I think they did really well with the character of Johnny, acting, directing, and writing wise. My greatest fear is that they would Tiny Tim or Beth Littlewomen him, given that he is quite literally Too Good For This Sinful World. But I actually think he felt more like a fully realized person than in the movie. Sky-Lakota Lynch did a great job of looking haunted not just with his face but with his whole body. He was always pacing or fidgeting or something, and that nervous energy worked for me. And then of course he’s very, very still. And the contrast is very upsetting. Also they put him in sunrise colors 🥲

-Speaking of Johnny and Ponyboy, they’re very gay in this. I never really got that vibe in the book or movie (probably because I was 11 and didn’t even know I was gay yet), but here they’re close in a particular way that reminds me of certain friendships I had before I came out. Fantasizing about running away and making a home with your Extra Special Best Friend is the gayest thing I can possibly imagine. There’s a DIFFERENT song that I have dubbed 2 bros chilling in a hot tub because they are gazing into each other’s eyes singing about how they’ll never leave each other, HANDS CLASPED OVER THE KNIFE THAT JOHNNY USED TO KILL SOMEONE TO SAVE PONY, but they are sitting as far apart as physically possible. If the intent was to make it look less like they were going to kiss then they failed. 

-I went in knowing what they did with Dally’s death. And it works bc Dally in this is a completely different character. He feels much older, closer to Darry’s age, and he’s less loose-cannon-dangerous and more paternal toward Johnny and Pony. While book!Dally’s death is a final fuck-you to the world, this Dally is much more calculated about it. Thematically, do I think they should have changed the manner of his death? No. I think they should have engaged with the source material head-on, even if that scene is bound to take on different connotations now. Also Ponyboy has a monologue after Dally’s death that should have been cut down if not cut, make us sit with that 

-Joshua Boone, who plays Dally, is FANTASTIC. His performance of “Little Brother” (breakdown song after Johnny dies) is so much more intense than what’s on the cast album. I want to see him in les mis, which is high praise from me. Beautiful voice, wonderful ability to sustain notes while also sounding like his world has just been ripped out from under him. 

-they did cool stuff with lights and projections every time Ponyboy gets concussed! (Which is alarmingly often). The whole using lights/sound/projections to make the audience feel what the character is feeling reminded me of Curious Incident of the Dog In the Nighttime, as did the framing device at times. 

-the choreography/staging is amazing. The church fire! The rain! The whole thing taking place in the lot!!! I could have watched 10 more minutes of the rumble. 

-some of the lyrics are a little questionable. Love the book scenes! Love the music (I’m always here for a guitar-y folk ballad). But like. There is a scene where they dip into this almost recitative thing to describe how they just killed someone and I’m like ??? There’s so much dialogue in this musical, why is this not just dialogue. The songs are definitely strongest when they’re expressing inner thoughts/emotions instead of trying to advance plot. 

-The Stay Gold song WORKS. Musical theater is truly the best visual medium for letters bc you can have the person who wrote it come out and harmonize with the person reading it and UGH. Now that I’ve seen it staged it makes me so much more emotional 

-the way I’m tempted to go rush it so I can see it again. The brainworms are so real 

#the outsiders musical #i genuinely cannot believe my level of emotional investment in this show. I listen to the stay gold song and my heart HURTS

[aqueeracademic]

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 6:

season 2, episode 2, “Nocturne”:

TW: discusses d*ath of a child

- this episode is all kinds of fucked up so brace yourselves for what i’m about to say

- little kids are creepy as shit don’t come for me

- jakes sitting in the chair closest to morse

- no shot he’s actually paying attention to the sports game

- i missed this show aww

- lucy boynton AND anya taylor joy in this episode is so wild

- i understand he’s dying but there was no reason to mess up priceless artifacts w his blood tbh

- once again NO SUBTITLES so i have 0 clue what thursday is saying

- morse’s panic™️ when joan jokes about going on a date

- morse doesn’t know anything about sports which means he’s gay

- but he DOES recognize indian style daggers

- morse likes bugs (i, too, am autistic)

- strange <33333333333

- i feel really bad for this girl given that her uncle is dead and all but she really needs to reconsider her dye job

- i love lucy boynton but this character makes me want to pull my hair out

- morse connecting w the Weird™️ girl at the school is smth that can be so personal

- “this is a very happy school” girl r u tryna be suspicious?????

- i know that this is a serious tv show but i was rooting for it to be an actual ghost the entire time

- them talking about morse is so 😐

- like they’re RIGHT but they shouldn’t say it

- “snuggle down spit spot” ok didn’t realize mary poppins was present in this episode

- lowkey this episode is scary as shit and i’m tired of pretending it isn’t

- don’t try and tell me u weren’t scared watching this

- debryn and morse!

- perfectly unbroken eye contact this entire scene

- try and name and single person morse is more comfortable around you can’t

- this museum curator is sooooooooooo

- if i speak.

- morse lying about being interested in football just to please jakes is so crazy to me

- literally the definition of pretending to like something for a crush

- frazil supremacy

- “a feeling of” -dramatic ass pause- “dread.”

- brother? just say it?

- monica 🥰🥰🥰

- every girl in this episode has absolutely atrocious hair i’m living for it (not u martha ur perfect)

- opening a girls school in a mansion famed for a gruesome and unsolved murder is perhaps a terrible idea and they should have thought twice about it

- thursdays tie is so tight wtf is he doing

- morse is obviously gorgeous but there are some angles where he’s so stunning it makes me sick

- the county police are so 🤮

- morse guessing immediately it was a prank and being shot down despite being right is 😐😐😐

- thursday will defend morse to the ends of the earth

- lady has a cane AND a broken arm she needs to catch a break

- morse just stealing the book is wild i would be so mad

- this lady telling him about the ghost and leading him to where she saw it and then insisting he don’t go there is so weird

- like don’t talk about potential evidence of an intruder and then tell the COP to not go up there

- can u guess whether i believe in ghosts yet?

- PLOT TWIST I DO

- the face he made when he saw it was a bible was so fucking funny

- bro was 🫤

- PLEASE why is this episode so scary

- had to turn all the damn lights on in my room

- “morse says he saw a child u can take him at his word”

- GO THURSDAY GO

- morse in a wife beater

- why tf didn’t he close his door all the way if he was gonna start taking clothes off

- look at his freckles i’m so sick

- “i got a mate over at county says u saw something”

- this translates directly to “i have a friend at the department you were teamed up with today and i asked him about you because i’m in love with you”

- i forgot how long these episodes are

- these americans are so fucking sweet i want justice for them asap

- it’s time for me to confess that i actually don’t understand a single case in this show

- i never understand the solution tbh

- i’m j watching bc it’s pretty

- thursday’s son asking morse if they were “going to do it tonight” and morse getting absolutely terrified

- “gonna do what” 😨😨

- babe calm down

- had to switch to the tv bc i cannot understand a word thursday is saying

- need the captioning

- jakes just smiling at morse while watching him walk away is so 💅

- this girl using the word “breeding” when referring to building a family definitely suggests a little fruitiness i fear

- sexy curator taking his glasses off seductively to look at morse™️

- the one thing this episode got right was how shit morse is with women

- them realizing it’s joan on the date is so fucking funny

- “where would you like your ashes scattered?” (morse doesn’t believe in burials?????)

- it is so bizarre to me that this teacher would be showering anywhere near a classroom and even more bizarre that she’s walking the hallway in a nightie and barefoot

- how does she think gently tapping the window is gonna get his attention when he’s already halfway across the field???

- this is why all the women die in horror movies

- joan literally saying they should kiss and him being like “that would never happen bc coffee is gross” is so real of him

- her lashing out insanely at the girl playing the piano and then being like “what’s happening to us” like you fucking psychopath that was ALL YOU who is “us”????

- “they were of their time” = racist

- “all women together? it’s against nature” sir what the fuck do u mean by that

- this episode is not nearly gay enough for my tastes 🫤

- STOP WHY AM I SCARED

- him thinking it was bunty and being upset about it makes me physically sick

- if you pay attention to jakes during the scene they’re discussing how the little girl got killed you’ll cry just like i did!

- his reaction to it is so visceral

- “gently, please” FINAL STRAW

- debryn fully relying on morse to solve the case is so personal

- the way that morse is spurred by debryn’s faith in him???

- morse has been awake for more than 36 hours how is that even possible

- morse is so good for telling bunty it wasn’t her fault and insisting she believe him

- morse absolutely LOVES it when the heterosexuals are at fault for something

- “haven’t you ever been lonely?” and then the camera focusing on morse ILL BE SICK

- jakes also absolutely loves blaming the hets

- “and you didn’t think to offer that up before now?” 😑

- get him!

- an entire phone call to a police station was MISSED because morse had an Epiphany™️ and never answered

- the way shaun evans has to deliver the explanation monologue 4-5 times in a row perfectly?? THATS acting

- they are driving WAYYYYY TOOOOO SLOWWWWWWW

- guys there is a murderer in the house RIGHT. NOW.

- go faster.

- ok i lied earlier this episode makes sense

- but most of the time i have 0 clue what’s going on

- i also lied when i said the curator was sexy he’s a murderer so i hate him and he’s gross

- maud being the only child who didn’t know who he was and also the only child who was a victim of him is so fucking sickening

- “don’t mind me, just make sure the girls are alright.” jakes i love you

- how did that fall take Black out but not kill morse??? is morse indestructible?

- i’m never gonna recover from the knowledge that the surviving child was blamed for the muders and hidden away because she had Down syndrome

- episode gets a 7/10 from me for being really good but not gay at all

#i’m back babey! #thank you all for your patience #we are gonna knock this shit out #because it’s #pride month #doing it for the #gays #and that’s it #endeavour #endeavour itv #endeavour morse #morse #itv endeavour

[haybuhay]

i am asking you about dermabrasion by pennydaniels 👀

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION!!! IM NOW GOING TO GO CRAZY !

DERMABRASION BY PENNYDANIELS is a canon divergent BNHA fic focusing mainly on Todoroki Shouto and Dabi’s relationship if Shouto had figured out his identity and tracked him down at the start of the UA school year. It is over 400k words, 41 chapters, and is one of my favorite BNHA fics (or just plain fics) ever. I cannot recommend it enough.

I will try SO HARD not to spoil anything in this rant/essay in case you haven’t read it… But minor spoiler warning anyway in case I mess up.

Some of the stuff I’m going to talk about is waay down the line (like 40 chapters out of 41 chapters type of down the line) but the fact that you know it’ll happen won’t take away from the joy of reading it because the execution is just that good. Probably. The build-up to these moments is just as good as them happening, if not better, I SWEAR.

OK. RANT BEGIN.

For reference, this fic began December 2020 and finished January 2023!! We got the Dabi is a Todoroki reveal November 2020 and then more about his backstory February 2021.

So this means that Dabi’s characterization and backstory here aren’t 100% canon compliant. Despite the fact that it’s in AU territory, the fic handles Dabi’s character and motivations really well?? Arguably, its because it’s not canon compliant that the fic is able to give us such a good insight into his character... Wow… When authors can expand on existing narratives while staying true to the essence of the characters… 😍…

Dabi’s motives, which I think are actually super close to canon (!!!), and how they inform his choices within the timeline of the fic and in his backstory make me so crazy. I am going to be cryptic and just say that the glimpses we get of young tweenage Touya in this fic is everything to me. His whole relationship with Endeavor at literally at any point in the story is especially well done…

A large part of this fic’s appeal to me is how it handles Endeavor. I am a huge fan of the Todorokis’ whole plot and since Enji is the dead centre of that fucked up family storm, I think getting him right is probably one of the most pivotal points in writing fics that puts emphasis around literally any Todoroki. Not even just how Enji himself is, but also the way other characters think about and act around him should be given thought and written with care... Dermabrasion does him, his affect on his kids and his wife and his development so much justice.

The fic begins with Season 1 Shouto’s Endeavor hatred. His vehemence for the guy is so obvious even in just the first few paragraphs where he dubs him ‘that fucker.’ He does this consistently throughout the fic LOL

Tbh. This put me off the fic a little, since I’m not interested in reading Endeavor-bashing fics (no matter how deserved they are HAHA) but I just got over myself and realised no, yeah. This is in character, it is completely understandable and a little hilarious...

What I like here is that his feelings towards Endeavor (negative or otherwise) aren’t a static thing — it progresses not just as Endeavor changes, but as he grows closer in understanding Dabi and the rest of his family and as he, himself, grows up. It’s so rewarding to see it unfold throughout the storyline little by little. I want to say that it happens in the background but honestly Endeavor haunts this entire fic. It’s not that he’s always there. Honestly, he doesn’t show up that much, but it’s only by virtue of his actions that this storyline exists at all so it’s like every action taken is an echo of his. Something about how even when he’s not there, everything is always about him and what he’s done. It’s great, and I mean that genuinely. I love this so bad.

Shouto’s character here is perfect for this sort of fic, I think. He’s stunted and it’s openly acknowledged by other characters how… weird?? he can come across. I think it just makes his arc all that more apparent... He becomes somewhat of a moral paragon and I’n not even upset about it. His development as a character is thoroughly explored and so hard-earned that his transformation from a dead-faced, dead-eyed kid to who he is at the end of the fic is just. rewarding.

AND ITS NOT JUST HIM… Almost every main-focus character goes through some sort of gratifying journey and are made to reckon with parts of themselves that in Dabi’s case, would mean redefining his entire identity. You can tell that all the characters in this fic want to be better, not just for themselves, but for the people around them. It’s one of my favourite things about this fic, how personal improvement is such a huge part in it. This is definitely the Mob Psycho 100 lover in me speaking.

(Side tangent: MP100 being a story about an overpowered, stoic, repressed kid who, with the company of a dubiously moral older brother figure, learns how to become a better version of himself and by doing that, he inspires those around him, including that dubiously moral older brother figure. This is Dermabrasion in a different world. If you love MP100, I will eat my entire shoe if you don’t enjoy Dermabrasion too.)

While the focus is definitely mainly on Shouto and Dabi, the entire family has their part in it. Natsuo, Fuyumi, Rei and Enji all get their moments to shine and show their growth and unique personalities. A fun thing about this is how similar Shouto and Enji are… I think it really drives home that they’re family.

I don’t think this is a huge spoiler, since it’s kinda implied in the premise, but when Natsuo reunites with Dabi the interaction is so. Real. And the fact that it takes time and effort for their relationship to be built back is so poignant and crazy and SICK. Everything in this fic is earned through a lot of tears and pain and misery. It’s a cathartic read.

Okay, now that I made it sound like the entire fic is just one huge therapy session, let me mention humour once then immediately go back to doing that HAHAHA I think this fic is funny as hell. Humour is subjective, yesyesyes, but it grew on me and it WILL grow on you. The back and forths between characters, Shouto’s natural temperament making him predisposed to being absolutely Comical, the inherent comedy of being in a Hero Society... As someone with siblings the way the Todoroki siblings interact here, fights and messy reuniting shit notwithstanding, has so much of the annoyed love and care that you get from the people you grew up with. I particularly like Fuyumi and Natsuo’s dynamic together.

They’re outcasts in different ways than Dabi and Shouto are outcasts. The guilt and remorse they feel not just from not being able to step in for Shouto, but for leading their own lives is GAHHH. The entire thing about being in a different world to their brothers and dad is … Augh. Heroes and Villains.

Rei. Rei… I am GUTTED by every scene she is in. I reread ‘when your love has always been enough (for me)’ by classicequinox to cope. That is a different post to make one day when I have the energy.

Idk if I said all I wanted to say. There’s definitely more to this fic. DabiHawks, for one. I think they’re great here. Somehow they AREN’T horrifically toxic, WOO!! The details of this I will leave for you to read… Another thing I like about this fic is how 1A reacts to Todoroki family lol. LOV also has its part in this fic, I think it is sweet what happens to them but ofc since they aren’t really the main focus, it’s more a fun bonus to see what happens to them.

Ok I need to wrap this up. One day I’ll write a proper spoiler-full essay about this with a thesis statement and everything but yk. Life.

To conclude I’ll just talk about the ending of this fic. It’s my favourite, absolute favourite thing about it. The author themself quoted a comment they received in the last chapter that I am going to quote here too: “Even at the end there's the clear sense that the character's lives will continue and that this is only the beginning for them.” That is literally the best way to sum up this fic. These character’s will continue growing and bettering and it gives me so much real, genuine hope in myself that I can change, too. So yeah. Read this fic and if it changes your life let me know.

#dabi #todoroki shouto #todoroki family drama #i talk #bnha fic #todoroki touya #endeavor #todoroki enji #ask #anon #fuelled by audhd #fic so good i had to use capitalization #wrote this like 1-4am and just barely proofread it now #so if it’s absolutely everywhere. thats why #incomprehensible … #ok i realize that i talked abt how important endeavor is here in this fic but hes also like #yes hes sort of the catalyst but also they r their own characters #idk #i want to have my cake and eat it too #endeavor is vitally important but also shouto dabi fuyumu natsuo rei can live w/o him and his pressure