#in terms of just. emptiness. gentleness. how do you move on. how do you build a life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ringsofsaturnnnn · 1 year

Text

— [🪐] ·˚ ༘ ✎ 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 | 𝐚. 𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐭

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 :: it’s no secret that most people see armin as a sweet, innocent little thing. i mean, how couldn’t you? his sweeter than honey smile, bright blue eyes, and gentle voice pulls everyone in! however, what happens when you end up finding out that little mr. perfect isn’t as nice as everyone thinks he is?

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨(𝘴) 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 :: fem bodied reader, porn with a plot (kinda), manipulative!armin, jealous!armin, pervy!armin, mean!armin, ooc!armin, swearing, dark content as armin is kinda manipulative, armin sorta shames you for what you wear at one point, nsfw themes - armin jacking off to you, oral (female receiving), breeding kink, slight choking, light dacryphilia (armin likes seeing you cry), fingering, virgin reader, overstim, pet names/endearing terms (honey, baby, sweet girl, etc.), slight dumbification. all characters are aged up & are in college. if i missed anything just let me know!

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 :: this is my first time ever writing something like this so if it sucks i’m so sorry 😭. i really hope it makes sense.. i feel like the plot just kinda fell apart but oh well. i’ve just been having extreme brainrot for armin. big thanks to my friend @oyusumi for beta reading like.. half of this and inspiring me to finally post.

𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥

your head moved back and forth to the music playing through your headphones as you looked through your notes in the notebook in front of you. you had been studying nonstop for the upcoming german test, however, it seemed like all your studying was futile. you still couldn’t understand how to pronounce, nor spell, certain words. it was just getting frustrating because it seemed that no matter how hard you tried, you still just couldn’t get it.

letting out a groan, you ripped your headphones out of your ears and started packing your notes up. you needed to get out of the library. this studying was starting to drive you nuts. as you were packing, you heard someone’s voice behind you. turning, you saw your friend eren. “oh, hey eren.” you smiled as you shoved the last notebook in your bag.

“hey. you looked frustrated. do you need help with anything?” many people pegged eren as the stupid type who didn’t do his homework and was passing school by the skin of his teeth, which was ironic, because he was a great student. he practically had straight a’s with the occasional b+. “oh no, don’t worry about it. i was just getting frustrated while studying for the german test.” you shrugged as you swung your backpack over your shoulder and grabbed your phone.

“oh, here! let me help you,” eren sat down in the empty seat and looked at you. “well, come on.” giving him a hesitant glance, you sighed. “are you sure? i don’t want to be a bother..” he nodded and you couldn’t help but smile. “fine.” setting your bag down, you unzipped it and grabbed the notebook you were previously looking at.

unknowingly to the both of you, a certain blonde was watching you two out of the corner of his eye. he couldn’t stop the anger building inside of him. it should of been him helping you, not eren. armin was the brightest kid in school, no doubt. he was a straight a+ student who had a 4.0 gpa. sure, he spent most of his days studying, but it showed as almost every teacher favored him and wished every student was as bright as he was.

the sound of your laughter pulled armin from his thoughts. he looked up and saw your head resting against eren’s shoulder as you laughed at something he said. gripping his pencil tightly, he looked at the blank white paper, lined with blue stripes, in front of him. he just couldn’t think. couldn’t focus. not when you entered his mind.

armin was obsessed with you.

plain and simple. there was no other way to explain it. to others, and even you, his gestures were sweet. he was a true gentleman. he held doors open for you, walked you to your next class at the expense of being late to his own, gave you his notes if you missed something, and would even offered you his jacket if certain classrooms were too cold for you.

day after day, you never left armin’s thoughts. you were always on his mind, in more ways than one. what seems like a harmless crush continued to grow and grow until it turned into a deep infatuation with you. many would call this unhealthy, but to armin, it was perfectly fine. in his eyes, how couldn’t he be obsessed with you? everything you did was just perfect.

“armin? hey, armin!” shaking his head, armin looked up and saw eren. “you okay? i’ve been calling your name for a few minutes now.” eren chuckled and sat down next to his friend. “oh? yeah, i’m fine. just spaced out.” armin responded, adding a fake laugh at the end to sound more believable. he continued to speak with eren, growing tired of the small talk. he made up an excuse so he could leave and eren nodded. “mhm, see you later.”

getting up, armin headed towards the door of the library. something on the table that you had been sitting at caught his eye. stopping and looking, he saw your phone. he glanced around and made sure no one was looking before pocketing it and heading out.

once armin entered his room, he threw his bag to the side and immediately started examining your phone. hitting the power button, your lock screen lit up his face. it was a picture of you, armin, mikasa, and eren. he couldn’t stop the smile that toyed at the edge of his lips at the thought of you seeing his face every time you opened your phone.

he swiped up and the phone asked for a passcode. chuckling, he easily typed in the six-digit code to unlock your phone. he had seen you type the passcode in when you sat beside him at lunch one day. your face id hadn’t been working and you made a comment about nearly forgetting your passcode because you always used your face id.

the second he was in, he paused. this was wrong. he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop himself. he needed to see what was on your phone. he needed to know that you were safe. clicking on your messages, he noticed that his conversation was pinned. his heart swelled at the thought. you had his conversation pinned. along with his, you had eren, mikasa, and the group chat all 4 of you shared pinned.

after he finished smiling about the fact that his conversation was pinned, he started reading your other messages. most of your conversations were, in his opinion, stupid. you mainly texted sasha about different recipes you had made or how she was doing on homework. your conversations with connie were basically him inappropriately flirting with you (which made armin quite upset) or telling stupid jokes back and forth. he occasionally asked you for answers to homework, which didn’t shock armin one bit. jean’s texts with you were dry and dull, nothing interesting there.

the conversations that caught his eye were your texts with mikasa and eren. since they were your good friends, you, of course, had more interesting messages with them. eren’s texts with you were mostly about hanging out and how you two were feeling. armin couldn’t help but feel a spike of jealousy. you never texted him about your feelings, so why did you go to eren? had he not proven that he was trustworthy enough? what made armin see red was the pictures eren had been sending you. shirtless pictures, him at the gym, pictures where his pants were hanging dangerously low on his hips. he was disgusted as he scrolled through the texts. you had told him more than once that you weren’t interested, so why wasn’t eren getting the fucking hint?

having enough of eren, he went to your conversation with mikasa. he felt himself calm down as he read your texts with her. you mainly talked about your struggles with certain classes (which armin made note of so he could help you later) and your feelings. he didn’t mind you talking to mikasa about your feelings because he knew that mikasa was very important to you and would offer you good advice.

just when he was about to be done snooping through your messages, he saw his name. scrolling up a little further, he couldn’t help but read what you said about him. his eyes quickly scanned the words, the smile on his face growing wider and wider with each passing second.

you had a crush on him?

he continued to stare at your messages with mikasa, not being able to pull his eyes away from that simple message. you, a beautiful, ethereal angel, had a crush on him? it was almost like a dream come true. armin even pinched himself a few times just to make sure he was seeing this correctly.

shaking his head, he finally swiped up and exited your messages. he scrolled through the pages on your phone, admiring your phone theme. he remembered you ranting about how long it took you to make it look as nice as it did. he looked through all your apps, less than impressed with some of them. why the heck did you need so many apps?

just as he was about to finish his snooping and call it a day, his mind wandered to your photos. should he? scrolling over to the photo icon on your homescreen, his finger hovered over it. he knew this was wrong but.. fuck it. he already had your phone, so why not? clicking the icon, he was immediately met with all your photos.

he gulped and regained his composure before starting to look through them. a lot of your photos were of your pets. of course they were though, you loved your pets. you had some pictures of different drinks or foods you got to have. different places you’ve visited. lots and lots of photos of you and your friends. swiping out of your camera roll, he looked at all your albums. you had.. a lot.

pets

yummy things

fun places

friends

the album that made him smile was called “armin.” he had his own album in your phone? clicking on it, it asked for face id, much to armin’s surprise. you could lock photo albums? it obviously denied him every time he tried to use his face. he was starting to grow frustrated before it asked to enter the passcode. smiling, he typed in the code. bingo.

the album opened up and revealed all the photos of you and armin and just armin, which gave him a satisfied smirk. eren didn’t have an album all to himself. he had finally managed to one-up eren.

he scrolled through the hundreds of photos, smiling and laughing at a few. he could recall almost every moment that had been frozen in time in these pictures. his favorite photo was the one where you were kissing his cheek. you two happened to be underneath some mistletoe that sasha had hung in a doorway. being teased by all your friends, you kissed his cheek while historia unknowingly took a picture.

his cheeks were flushed at the memory of your soft, warm lips against his skin. swiping out of that album, he saw one last one, hidden far behind the other albums. it was titled “n/a,” which he found odd. n/a meant not available or not applicable, which made no sense. those pictures were obviously available, so why put them in a folder entitled otherwise? clicking on it, he realized that this too was locked. sighing, he continued to be denied because of face id before being able to punch in the passcode.

when the album opened up, he jumped and turned red. this album was full of pictures of.. of you. however, not just any pictures, risky pictures. in some pictures you were in nothing but a bra and underwear. in other photos you used your hair to cover your (obviously) bare chest. he continued to scroll through these photos, his cheeks becoming embarrassingly warm. he couldn’t deny that he was extremely turned on.

it wasn’t long before his pants felt uncomfortably tight. unbuckling his belt, he slowly pulled his jeans down to his knees and slipped his hand into his underwear, feeling how hard he was. “oh shit..” he mumbled before slipping his underwear down as well, allowing his cock to spring free.

gently rubbing his thumb over the tip, he let out a small gasp. “mmm, fuck!” he whined. he continued to use his thumb to spread pre-cum all over his tip and down the rest of his length. he couldn’t help it, it just felt so good. as he did this, armin let his thoughts wander. he imagined it was you. you sitting on your knees in front of him, teasing him with your fingers. your mouth. your tongue.

with a quiet moan of your name, he started rubbing himself due to how uncomfortably hard he was. “oh.. oh please..” he squeezed his eyes shut as he continued to imagine you pleasuring him. bucking his hips into his fist, his moans continued to rise in volume. his cheeks were flushed as his mouth hung open ever so slightly. his pace became more and more erratic the more he pumped his length.

opening his eyes, he clicked on a random picture in the photo album. it just happened to be a picture of you squeezing your boobs together, revealing your cleavage. it wasn’t long before he felt his stomach tighten. “m-m’ gonna cum!” he cried out, even though no one could hear him. loud whines left his soft pink lips as white ropes painted his stomach. “oh, please,” he whimpered as he slowly came down from his high. armin rubbed his sensitive tip with thumb and looked down at his stomach, watching it rise and fall with his breathing. although armin didn’t work out as frequently as eren did, he still had a decently chiseled chest and well-defined abs. a few strands of cum dripped down his abs towards his v-line.

he frowned as he looked at the picture on the phone screen. he wished he could have came on your chest, or inside of you, instead of his stomach, but for now, it would have to do. armin glanced at your phone screen one last time before he shut it off, watching as the screen turned black. he pulled his pants up before getting up and heading towards the bathroom. when he felt his feet hit the cold tile, he flipped the light switch on before heading towards his shower. he listened to the water thunder against the plastered shower floor before starting to disrobe.

once he had rid himself of all his clothes, he opened the shower door and stepped in. the warm water immediately welcomed him like a hug, which armin was grateful for. running his hands through his hair, he felt his once tense muscles start to finally relax. he knew that once he got out of the shower, he’d have a little more fun with your phone before returning it to you the next morning.

you had spent the whole rest of the night and some of the morning worrying about your phone. “shit, shit, shit!” you cried as you tore your room apart for the umpteenth time. “where is it?!” it honestly looked like a tornado had hit your room. clothes were thrown everywhere, blankets askew, pillows piled up in a random corner, it looked like a royal trainwreck, that was for sure.

sitting on your bed, you buried your head in your hands and groaned. “FUCK!” you growled angrily. how could you have been so stupid? you could have swore you had your phone when you left.. wait. looking up and blinking, you let out yet another groan. you never grabbed your phone off the table once eren sat down. in an attempt to let out some anger, you grabbed the nearest stuffed animal and chucked it at the wall. you listened to it hit the wall before watching it fall to the ground.

you continued to wallow in anger for a bit before deciding to get up and get ready for school. maybe it was still on the table. you highly doubted it, but you never knew, or, maybe eren grabbed it. as you came up with scenarios in your head, your tension started to ease a little bit.

as you finished putting your stuff in your locker, you saw your good friend armin walk up to you. “oh, hey armin!” you flashed him a bright smile, watching as his pale cheeks turned pink. “hi. uhm, i just wanted to uh, give this to you,” armin reached into his pocket and pulled your phone out. he held it out to you, a soft smile gracing his delicate features. “i thought you might want it back.”

you couldn’t help but laugh a little before taking it. “i’ve been looking for this everywhere! thank you, thank you, thank you!” you squealed. you quickly shut your locker door before giving him a big hug. he stiffened at first, but quickly melted into your embrace. armin loved your hugs. he loved your touch. he loved you.

“where was it?!” you asked as you pulled away. armin wished the hug would have lasted longer, but he didn’t complain. “oh, it was on the table you were studying at. i saw it when i went to leave. i charged it for you.” he flashed you a smile, revealing his perfect white teeth. now it was your turn to blush. you never understood how someone could be so.. so perfect.

“i really, really appreciate that armin. you’re too sweet.” his heart felt warm and fuzzy at your compliment, however, in the back of his mind, worry consumed him. would you still think he was sweet if you figured out he had managed to share your hidden album with himself? would you still find him sweet if you knew he downloaded all your pictures to his computer hard drive so he could fuck his fist every night to it?

the sound of the bell ringing pulled him from his worry-ridden thoughts. shaking his head, he watched as you adjusted the books in your arms. “i’ll walk you to your first class.” his blonde hair covered his forehead and reached down to his eyes. “such a gentleman.” you laughed before starting to walk away.

a few weeks had passed since armin had snooped through your phone. since then, he managed to grow closer to you, which led to you inviting him over more frequently, which in turn, made his obsession grow more and more. there were times where you left him at your place while you went and got take out food or some coffee from your favorite shared café. little did you know that he used this time to snoop through your room. he managed to find your diary, which he would read before carefully placing it back where it was. other times he would look through your dresser, staring at all your lingerie sets. oh how he wished he could just rip them off of your body, leaving pretty red marks on your oh so delicate skin. his mouth always salivated at the thought.

his most recent infatuation was giving you his hoodies. not only were they oversized on you (which he found incredibly adorable and hot at the same time), whenever you returned them they smelled like you, which drove him crazy. your scent was so incredibly intoxicating to him. to armin, your scent was a mixture of strawberries, lemon, and lavender. it wasn’t long before he became addicted.

night after night he would buck his hips into his fist while wearing the hoodies that smelled like you. he would stare at your pictures, chanting your name like a mantra while he came all over his hand. he would go two or three rounds, falling asleep with his hand covered in his cum.

“hey armin, can you come here for a second?” the two of you had been doing homework for the past few hours. you were wearing shorts that were way too short for you and one of armin’s hoodies that he had so graciously let you borrow. “of course, give me one second,” he quickly finished writing something down before getting up and coming to sit on the couch with you. “what’s up?”

you moved closer to him, causing a small blush to appear on armin’s cheeks. “well, i’m having trouble with this math problem. i was wondering if you could help me?” the way you looked at him through your lashes, armin could have swore he about creamed his pants right then and there. “oh uhm, uh sure!” he stuttered.

you leaned down and grabbed your textbook before setting it in his lap, allowing your hand to linger on his thigh a little longer before pulling it away. armin could have swore that you were trying to give him a heart attack. every part of his body felt like it was on fire. he was just. so. warm.

“so, where do i start?” your voice pulled him from his thoughts. shaking his head, he looked at the book. for some reason, nothing was registering to him. his eyes saw the ink on the page, but his brain couldn’t understand what it was asking. “you start with.. with..” every time armin spoke, his voice just trailed off. “armin, are you feeling alright?” he felt your palm on his forehead, sending yet another wave of heat coursing through him. “yes! i’m just fine..” he carefully grabbed your hand and put it on his thigh.

he couldn’t deny the tent in his pants, but he was praying you wouldn’t notice. “fuck.. i’m so attracted to you.” he mumbled under his breath. “what did you sa-,” within a second he had picked you up and set you in his lap, forcing you to look at him. “a-armin?!” you were taken aback by his sudden actions, but you weren’t gonna lie, you were slightly turned on.

“how long are you gonna play stupid, huh?” he grunted. shaking your head, you just looked at him. “what do you mean?” confusion swarmed your brain. play stupid? how were you playing stupid? how did you even get to this point? all you wanted was help with a simple math problem!

“what do you mean,” he mocked. “seriously? don’t fuck with me,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “how long were you gonna sit here and fucking tease me? don’t think i didn’t notice your outfit. those shorts that are obviously too fucking short for you. your ass is practically hanging out of them. and my hoodie? i bet you don’t have anything on underneath it.” it was like armin had just flipped a switch. your once kind, innocent, friend was now basically degrading you for your choice in outfit.

“i, i really don’t get what you mean. armin i just.. i was just trying to be cozy i really wasn’t trying to dress like a slut or anything-“ words continued to pour out of your mouth as you became painfully aware of his growing erection. “please, i’m sorry, i’ll go change..”

“no.” his voice was low, yet demanding. “you wanna dress like a slut? fine, i’ll fuck you like a slut.” your hands were starting to tremble at his words. why was he being so mean? although his rough words were turning you on, you were still soft at heart. you could feel your eyes stinging as he continued to go on, telling you how much of a whore you were. “s-stop it. stop being so mean..” your voice quivered as tears dripped down your cheeks.

you felt his hand cup your cheek as he wiped your tears. “oh honey, i’m not trying to mean. i just love you,” his voice was sickeningly sweet. “i just want you to know how mean the real world is. how if you dress like this,” he motioned to your outfit, “you’ll be called a whore. but it’s okay baby, you’re not a whore. you’re a good girl, right?” you quickly nodded, sniffling a little. “that’s what i thought.”

he wiped the new tears that had fallen down your soft cheeks before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “you’re my good girl, right?” he pulled back and cocked an eyebrow, waiting for a response. shaking your head, your voice trembled as you spoke. “mhm.. i’m your good girl.” an evil smile crossed armin’s face at your words. “of course you are.”

he moved his hand from your cheek to the hem of his hoodie. gently toying with the edge, he started to pull it up. he was immediately met with your skin, which left him with a satisfied smirk. “i was right, baby. you aren’t wearing anything underneath my hoodie.” he chuckled as he pulled it completely off of you. looking away, you tried to cover yourself. “ah, ah, ah, you’re not gonna hide from me are you? i love you, so why would you hide from me?”

his voice was like a trap. the second you heard it, you were stuck. he could always manage to get into your head. he would manipulate you, but part of you didn’t care. you craved his attention just as much as he craved yours. you needed armin just like he needed you, so why were you so scared of him in this moment?

“hey. i asked you a question pretty girl.” armin’s voice cut through your thoughts. looking at him, fear suddenly overtook you. this wasn’t your armin, was it? how.. how could it be? your armin held doors open for you. your armin walked you to class and locked pinkies with you when you were nervous. your armin gave you his jackets in cold classrooms, even if it meant he’d be freezing for the rest of the class period.

“quit. fucking. spacing. out.” armin wrapped his hand around your throat, gently squeezing to gain your attention once more. gasping, you weakly tried to pull his hand off your throat. “armin, you’re scaring me..” once the words left your mouth, his eyes softened and he immediately removed his hand. “oh honey, i’m not trying to scare you. i promise. i’m just trying to get your attention,” he brought your trembling body closer to his. “i wouldn’t ever hurt you.”

you didn’t realize how much you were shaking until armin held you against his steady body. more and more tears were slipping down your cheeks and were now wetting down his shirt. as he hugged your body closer to his, he unhooked your bra, allowing your breasts free of their constraints. “let me take care of you.” he whispered in your ear. nodding, you allowed him to carry you towards your bed.

thoughts swarmed your mind as armin gently set you down on your unmade bed. he made quick work of ridding you of your shorts and underwear. “who made you this wet baby?” he teased, watching as your cheeks turned a shade of pink. you covered your face with your hands, too embarrassed to say anything. “honey, i’m talking to you. now, answer me.” his voice was low when he spoke.

“y-you did, armin..” your voice was quiet, hardly above a whisper. “be louder. i can’t hear you.” he remarked. shaking your head, you couldn’t bring yourself to be any louder. suddenly, he grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head. he got all up in your face, your noses almost touching. “fucking say it.” he growled, his hot breath fanning your face. fear coursed through your veins as you spoke quickly, afraid of upsetting him even more. “y-you did! you made me this wet, armin!” your voice was louder now, which brought a satisfied smirk to his face. “atta girl. now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

you shook your head as armin used his middle and ring fingers to gather some of your slick. you bit your tongue, trying to suppress the moan building in your throat. using his thumb, he started to rub your clit. “let me hear those pretty noises of yours, liebling.” his slow, lazy circles on your clit started to get quicker and quicker, causing you to let out a whine. “armin.. armin wait!” truth be told, you had never done this before. and by this, you meant any of this. you had never masturbated. never had sex. sure, you read stories, watched porn, and listened to your friends talk about it, but you’d never done it.

“aw baby, what’s wrong?” he chuckled. he didn’t stop his ministrations, which caused you to whine. you tried to push him away, but it was to no avail. “i-i’ve never done this before..” you mumbled under your breath. “hm?” armin hummed as he sped his fingers up. “i-i’ve never done this!” you cried, your legs starting to shake a little. a shit-eating grin crossed armin’s features as he pulled his fingers away. it felt like you could finally catch your breath as your erratic breathing started to settle. sliding his fingers into his mouth, he sighed, satisfied. you tasted fucking heavenly.

closing your legs, you tried to sit up, only for armin to pin you back down again. he laughed in your face, the warmth of his body radiating off of him. “oh, my sweet, sweet schatzi, you’ve been waiting for me, haven’t you? such a good fucking girl, waiting for me. you wanted me to take your virginity, didn’t you? you knew nobody else could please you like i would.” a feeling of possessiveness coursed through armin as he looked down at your features. you were made for him. now that he had you, he’d never let you go.

you were trembling underneath armin as he slowly started kissing down your body. as he did this, he started unbuckling his belt, the noise echoing loudly in your ears. your body felt like it was on fire as armin continued to kiss your delicate skin. kicking his pants to the side, armin stopped at your plush thighs and looked up. “you look so fucking perfect like this.” he mumbled before spreading your legs. he looked at your sopping cunt, a look of hunger in his baby blue eyes.

“i just know i’m gonna become addicted to you, more so than i already am of course..” he whispered before kissing your inner thigh. he gently nipped at the skin, causing you to squeal and try to move away from him. “stay still, damnit.” he huffed before using one of his arms to pin your waist down. he gingerly placed a kiss over the spot he bit before moving towards you dripping wet cunt. armin carefully licked a stripe up your soaking hole, relishing in the taste. it tasted like heaven to him.

he listened as you gasped at the feeling of his tongue being pressed against you. you didn’t know how to respond. it felt so weird. this was nothing like how any of your friends described it. your bare chest rose and fell as armin continued to kitten lick your cunt. his nose bumped against your clit, causing you to moan. “a-armin!” you cried as you allowed one of your hands to grasp his soft, blonde hair. he smirked before moving his mouth away. you looked down at him, his mouth covered in your essence. your cheeks felt as if they were on fire as he moved his free hand down towards your messy cunt.

you felt his fingers press against your hole, causing your eyes to widen. “w-wait!” you weren’t going to lie, you were scared. “it’s okay baby, i’ve got you. just relax.” he smiled before pushing his middle finger into you. your walls clenched around him, causing him to smirk. you were so damn tight. he honestly couldn’t wait to fuck you. if you were squeezing his finger this much, just imagine how much you’d squeeze his dick.

“armin.. it feels weird..” you whimpered. “it’s okay baby. you just have to relax. you have to trust me.” he started pumping his finger in and out, trying to get you used to the feeling. the lewd noises had you gasping for air. “armin, please..” tears welled in your eyes again as you carefully bucked your hips a little. “there you go.” he cooed before carefully adding another finger. you felt your body start to relax as pleasure overtook your senses. “oh shit..” you mumbled.

armin could tell that you were finally starting to relax, which made him happy. he slowly started to speed his fingers up before leaning down and sucking on your clit. he watched as your mouth fell open and you searched for something to grab. “oh fuck! a-armin!” your legs started to shake a little, not used to this kind of pleasure. he hummed against your clit, curling his fingers to try and find that one spot inside of you. while he got you off on his fingers, he bucked his hips into the mattress, trying to give himself some sort of relief.

“please, please,” you whispered under your breath. it wasn’t long before you felt a weird pressure building in your lower stomach. “a-armin, stop. i feel weird! please stop..” you whimpered, pulling at the sheets. your hips lifted off the bed a little as you tried to get him to slow his ministrations. he pulled away from your clit and looked at you, his fingers speeding up yet again. he had stopped grinding his hips into the mattress now to help him focus on your climax. “it’s okay, honey. you’re gonna cum. just cum on my fingers. make a mess on them.” he smirked as you gasped one last time before cumming. your legs were shaking as tears flowed down your face. you weren’t used to these feelings, this pleasure.

withdrawing his fingers from you, armin immediately brought them to his lips and started to suck on them. you were so fucking addictive. he saw that your folds were glistening with cum, making his smirk grow wider. he reinserted his fingers into you and started pumping them back in and out. you tried to push his hand away, feeling overstimulated. armin ignored you and continued to finger you. while he did this, he slowly slipped his boxers off and threw them next to his pants.

“‘m gonna fuck you real good, sweet girl, don’t you worry.” he mumbled as he pulled his fingers out of you. he quickly spit in his hand and rubbed himself a few times before looking down at you. “you’re okay with this, right?” even when he was caught up in the moment, he knew how to pull himself out of that mindset and take care of you. you looked at him and nodded, a slight smile on your face. your cheeks had slight tear stains on them from crying earlier, but neither of you minded, if anything, it turned armin on more.

he used the head of his cock to tap your clit a few times before cursing under his breath. “fuck, i forgot a condom, hold on.” he huffed. “no, it’s fine! don’t worry about it..” you flashed him a smile. armin couldn’t help the smile that crossed his features at your words. “oh sweet girl, you want it raw your first time? how sinful.” the words rolled off armin’s tongue and sent shivers down your spine. you could only shake your head as armin rutted against your soaking cunt.

“‘m gonna put it in now, schatzi. it’ll hurt at first, but you’ll be okay.” he mumbled before lining himself up with your entrance. you took a deep breath as armin started entering you. right off the bat your warm walls squeezed him, making his eyes roll back. holy fuck, you were so tight. you whimpered as he continued to push himself inside of you. he could feel your walls constricting around him, making him go insane. it felt so fucking good to be inside of you.

minutes felt like hours until he finally paused. “oh honey, i’m halfway in. you’re doing so fucking good.” at his words, you gulped. he was only halfway in?! how fucking big was he? you never got the chance to look at him before he started fucking you..

it almost seemed like armin could read your mind. he cupped your cheek in his hand and made you look at him. “i know i’m big, but it’s okay. you can take it. good girls like you just stay still and take it.” you just took a breath and nodded, wincing as he started pushing himself in again. it felt like you were being split in half, the pain seeming unbearable.

time continued to pass (slowly in your opinion), before armin’s hips stilled. “that’s my girl. see, i’m inside you now. can you feel me in your tummy, love?” he cooed. his eyes looked upon you lovingly as your heart was beating erratically in your chest. he gently pushed down on your stomach, causing you to gasp. “d-don’t do that!” the pleasure that shot through you when he did it startled you.

he chuckled and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. your kisses were just like he imagined, warm and welcoming. as you continued to kiss, he slowly pulled out before thrusting back in all at once. you broke away, gasping loudly. “a-armin!” you cried.

“shh, shh. you’re fine. you can take it. you’re okay.” he mumbled encouraging words to you as he gripped your waist. he started thrusting in and out, the sound of skin slapping together could be heard around the room. “oh baby, you feel so fucking good. squeezing me so much.” it wasn’t long before the pain started to turn into some sort of pleasure.

“such a greedy fuckin’ girl, hah.. can’t get enough of me? it’s like you’re sucking me back in. i don’t mind though, i’m all yours. ‘m gonna fuck you so good that you’ll never want anyone else but me.” he babbled on and on as he continued to thrust into you roughly. you just shook your head, agreeing with the blonde that was currently drilling into you. “only you. only want you. ‘m your special, sweet girl min..” you panted.

you sunk your nails into the sheets below you as you tried to ground yourself to reality. armin was hitting spots inside of you that you didn’t even know existed. “fuck, you’re so deep in me!” you whined. you could hear armin chuckle above you as he continued to fuck you roughly. “oh baby, you’ve gotta stop squeezing me like that.. ‘m gonna cum to soon if you keep doing— oh!” without realizing it, you had came on him.

your room smelled like sweat and sex. moans, pants, skin hitting skin, and squelching noises could be heard echoing around the four walls. “oh fuck baby.. good girl. cumming all over my fucking cock.” armin praised. you whined, your mind starting to go blank. if this would happen every time you had sex with armin, you would happily oblige.

“oh shit! sweet girl, i’m gonna cum. i gotta pull out..” armin whined, his hair sticking to his forehead. you violently shook your head. “p-please cum in me! please..” at your words, armin swore he could have came. “oh honey, you want me to come in you? want me to stuff you full of my cum the first time? you’re that addicted to me that you want me to stuff my kid into you? fucking hell sweet girl, you’d look so beautiful with my baby stuffed inside of you.” armin was mindlessly mumbling now. he was getting off on the thought of you being stuffed with his kid.

“yes! would be so perfect with your kid in me, min! would be so perfect..” you weren’t quite sure what you were saying as you felt like you were on cloud 9. your body was stuck in a state of euphoria as you felt armin’s hips still. he whined loudly as he started cumming.

your legs were shaking and pants escaped your parted lips as armin slowly started moving again. “wait! wait.. ‘m overstimulated!” you cried out, but he paid no mind to it. he leaned down, whispering in your ear, “i gotta make sure you’re full of my cum, sweetie. one load won’t do it. gotta breed you full, make sure you’re good and full.” you felt chills run down your spine. the intimacy of what you were doing, and him being so close, seemed to have you on edge.

a white ring had formed at the base of his cock, your cum mixing with his. the noises you two were making were downright sinful. “holy.. ahhh..” drool was starting to drip out of your mouth as armin continued to bully your pretty pussy with his cock. he used his free hand to wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth. “you’re drooling, pretty girl.” he teased.

his words weren’t registering in your brain as you continued to slip further and further into a dumbed out state. “oh come on, don’t tell me i’ve got you dumb on my cock already,” he laughed before letting out a moan. your walls squeezed his cock just right. “we’ve only went one round, darling.”

you mindlessly babbled some response. you were fairly sure what you said wasn’t even coherent words, but armin didn’t care. in fact, he found it quite adorable. “ah shit.. i’m not gonna last long if you keep fucking squeezing me like this, hah—“

your walls continued to squeeze and contract around him as the coil in your stomach snapped once again. you came all over him, loud moans escaping your sore throat. your legs were trembling and you could have swore that you were seeing stars. “m.. ma.. min.. oh min.. please-“ your voice was quiet, yet armin could still hear it.

“don’t worry, my love. i’m right here. ‘m gonna stuff you full of my cum, okay? you’ll be nice and full. gonna look so fucking precious with my child in you..” he hissed between clenched teeth. it only took a few more thrusts before armin came inside you again. his hips still, a sigh leaving his lips as he slowly pulled out. you had tears dripping down your cheeks, drool leaking out of the corners of your mouth.

armin watched your cum, mixed with his, drip out of your abused cunt, a satisfied smirk on his face. “oh, sweet girl, you can’t waste my cum like this.” he frowned before taking his fingers and scooping it back up and pushing it back in you. you whimpered, not being able to form words. “gonna make sure you’re bred. gotta make sure you’ll have my kid. then you’ll never leave me..”

groaning, you slowly started to open your eyes. your lower body felt like it was being ripped to shreds, the pain feeling unbearable. as you started to gain your bearings, you noticed that you were dressed again. you had on a pair of lace underwear on, along with one of armin’s t-shirts.

what the? how did that happen? the last thing you remember was armin practically fucking your brains out. carefully turning your head, you saw armin fast asleep beside you. truth be told, you were too tired to be worried about how you got dressed again. yawning, you set your head back on your pillow, thinking about what happened.

how could your sweet, innocent armin say the things that he did last night? you coughed a little before pulling the blanket up more to cover your body. armin shifted beside you, but was still asleep.

as you continued to think, you could feel yourself slipping right back into sleep. the last thing you thought of before losing consciousness was the fact that even the sweetest honey can turn sour..

liebling :: german. term of endearment. means dear or darling.

schatzi :: german. term of endearment. literally means “little treasure” but is also said to mean sweetheart or darling.

#armin smut #armin arlert x reader smut #armin arlert x reader #armin arlert smut #armin arlert #armin aot #aot smut #armin snk #armin x reader smut #aot x reader #snk x reader #˗ˏˋ saturn’s stories ´ˎ˗#→˚₊·🐚 ੭* r.o.s | a. arlert

1K notes · View notes

rise-my-angel · 1 year

Text

Gentle Vulnerability

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 17.1k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, implied past non descript sexual assault, portrayal of non specific trauma/ptsd symptoms, smut, oral (m and f recieving), p in v, sex is consensual but there are small moments of non descriptive trauma anxiety, flashbacks

Notes: This is a bit of a personal chapter, since its very much taken inspiration from my own traumas and does explore non specific long term effects of sexual assault but nothing is ever shown or described and the only smut is consenting and with Joel. This is a continuation of Trembling Havoc from my Confused Warmth series. But can also be read as a standalone.

It was possible being as quiet as you were wasn’t always a positive. Commonly, you would slink in and out of somewhere without being spotted and typically it was a skill used mostly in protection. You spent much time by yourself and the dangers around you rested easy thinking you were never there. It certainly helped when you needed to get into a building where your presence could inevitably lead to a confrontation. Move very little and say even less, that’s how you navigate a strategy of stealth.

That focus on staying quiet did though, sometimes take away your awareness of other approaching sounds. As you crouched down, one hand raised above steadying you on the hard surface, you had been so silent that you completely missed the sounds of steps and creaking floorboards until the figure was looming over the counter.

Your head snapped up, lucky that your hand only got as far as a tiny jilt before it registered the figure above you was just one mischievously smirking Ellie. Your eyes spoke disapproving but the rest of your face played a different tune. “You making it a habit? Sneaking up on people out here? Thought you were keeping watch for infected.”

Hand relaxing, you continued to rifle through the mostly useless array of junk on the lower shelves in front of you. “I thought you said that was your job.” This time your face fell much more flat as you glanced back to to her briefly.

The three of you had been into another building already, but it was picked over fairly decently of anything of use. Both times you had silently snuck in first to lure any out that may be hiding in the corners, though the first time Ellie clearly hadn’t expected you to kick over a large metal trashcan far onto the floor to do so. If the loud clang of metal didn’t grab anythings attention, then Ellie’s voice certainly would. “That’s your big secret? Just knocking things over?”

You had just smirked as you flashed your light around the main area. “I said it worked, not that it was clever.”

“So what do you do if you knock it over and there actually infected?”

Joel answered that one for you, “You get out of there and move on.” You just tilted your head in agreement, as both you and Joel quickly came to the conclusion of nothing being there as they spoke behind you. “Avoiding them’s better then risking a fight.”

The one you’re in now fared a tad better. Most surrounding towns were void of people typically in fear of infected, but that also meant they were less likely to be spread around all over. As long as you keep to the empty streets and quiet buildings, most of them were fine you found. The longer they went without people, the more likely they were to gather in groups and lay in waiting. Especially in cold like this.

Now you were crouched down looking at something Ellie had hidden from you. “Not much left with pharmacy stuff, I assume?” Your voice muttered as you glanced over the counter to see where Joel was looking. He himself was knelt down with his bag, clearly having more luck.

Ellie waggled her eyebrows to herself like debating her antics before drawling out her tone. “Well, there was one thing.” Tossing it finally at you, whatever was inside knocked around against the packaging. A flip of the box in your hands it took you a moment to register what you were looking at.

Only to deflate completely both at what you were looking at and her laughter. A very dust covered thin box painted in a light pastel that had faded over time. The words and image though bright enough to highlight that you were holding a pregnancy test kit.

Your face unamused to her opposite, you raised an eyebrow. Shrugging in an exaggerated manner she leaned back, now her hands holding onto the counters edge. “Just seems like something that might come in handy, you know always expect the unexpec-”

Interrupting her own voice with a mild yelp as you tossed it back, bonking it off of her unsuspecting forehead. Never one to give up before the joke is done though, Ellie held her hands up in the air one with the box purposely facing you. “I thought we were always supposed to be prepared?”

Your hand on your waist you narrowed your eyes, mouthing a clear “Put it back” before watching her retreat. Glancing over at Joel, he looked from his own amused gaze at Ellie and bounced to you in question. Only getting a head shake and a slight smirking eye roll as his response.

Both of them ended up meeting you around the middle, Ellie in the middle of putting her gloves back on. “Come on, it’s boring out there. Gotta make your own fun.”

Joel playfully nudged her towards the door, as you took up the rear. You all could have been back at this point, but he had suggested the detour just to see if there was anything bringing back. Part of you agreed with him, but also had you wondering if just perhaps he wanted to spend time just the three of you before rejoining the crowds of the community you now called home.

Was it for him, or for you? This sensation of closeness was new to all three of you, but it also dug at you and Joel in different ways. He had more time to get used to this, and a surrounding of people that helped him adjust faster. You, not so much.

Someone, whom instead of slowly heating to a boil, blazed out of control in a wildfire that yanked you into the arms of support.. Going back to Jackson meant being able to live that new support unobstructed.

Your hands trying to dig into your palms, but softened by the cushioning gloves around your nails leaving you only with one other cope. Free falling into the unknown. Your eyes glanced up to Joel’s tall figure from where you walked behind him, and Ellie’s lively smaller one. Their voices mumbling, but accustomed to the other.

There wasn’t anything pulling you away from finding a life with them now. Bonded for life as if some other worldly force brought your traumas together to heal. The secrets were out, the ones that mattered at least and now all was left was for them to know you as you are.

Strangely enough, it felt just as daunting as those first few days.

You had been given a few nice options, cozy houses close to everyone else with lots of room. The first one you paced around the echoing rooms being reassured the kind of amenities these places had set up. The only comment you made being, “Lot of space for just me.”

The second one didn’t even get the chance to be peeked into. Sounds of laughter and loud chatter wized by, your attention turned to watch the main street crowded with people and little quiet that had something inside make your heart beat a little more noticeable.

It was Maria who suggested the one you ended up in. You didn’t really notice at the time, but it was clear she had been spending some time trying to figure you out, and the hour or so you’d been there had said at least something trustworthy. Tommy initially protesting, mostly because the house was small and needed size able work to make it halfway decent, but it was away from the street and one or two house lengths from the nearest neighbour. “If it has plumbing and a front door then it’s perfect.”

You didn’t venture out the rest of that first day. They seemed decent people here but there were too many of them, at least for now. It was early morning when you ventured outside. The sky still clouded in grey with more threats of rain, and the air still cool enough to chill your lungs, but it gave you time to map out where everything was.

Many seemed apprehensive about you, but looking back on it it wasn’t like you were all that approachable. A quiet, skittish demeanour that hardly spoke a word and looked unsure to the point of distrust at your surroundings. Not exactly like the open and welcoming community here. Quiet and on edge with enough lack of sleep, you could see it. It wasn’t until you had been walking into what appeared to be a dining hall did someone broach the conversation barrier.

Your elbows had been leaning against a high counter. Back close to the wall, looking at a scene that felt nothing like the only kind you’d known for twenty years. Was this a safe life they had always been used to, or were you just particularly bad at adapting to it? There was very little of interest in your house yet save for what you brought. But you had no clue what the etiquette was around food in this place and you were still way too exhausted to even consider going outside to fend for yourself.

Now that you here in here though, the idea of asking made your heart race just a little too much.

A voice spoke up at that moment, your eyes squinting at the room too distracted to notice anyone noticed you. “You know people usually come here to eat, right?” Turning your head from side to side until a shorter figure sat at a table on her own. A kid, maybe around thirteen if you had to guess, with sharp watchful eyes and a playful glint behind it. “Just ask, they’re not going to make you wait until you starve to give you anything. As far as I know.”

It was possible you just had been alone for too long, but there was a smartass behind the girl’s goofy little smile and it almost pulled a smirk out.. Your head nodded at the empty space in front of her with an eyebrow raised. Her own tilting in more amusement, “I’m waiting for someone.” You didn’t question it but she backtracked as if trying to recondition herself. “It’s good manners to wait until everyone’s at the table with their food before you start eating.”

A real smirk fell over your mouth, that was definitely something she either rehearsed or spent far too many occasions being told it. “How do you know I’m not doing the same?”

“Because you just got here and don’t know anyone.” You raised an eyebrow once more as her expression fell flat of it’s clever one up. “I live across the street from Maria, she mentioned you were new. Something about getting a few things since you didn’t arrive with much.”

Nodding was your only response. Growing slightly uncomfortable knowing she was waiting for someone or someones, you didn’t think you wanted to stick around and get roped into meeting more new people. But something about her blunt curiosity was endearing. So you shrugged, letting an exhale out watching for approaching people foolishly as if an ambush was immanent. “Travel by yourself long enough, you figure out how to get on just fine on the bare minimum.”

Unlike the apprehensive interest from the couple yesterday at how long you’d been by yourself, the kid’s head nodded with eyes of understanding you could recognize. “I get it, first time I was here we spent like three months in the woods in the middle of winter. Felt like a space alien seeing how much shit they have.”

Someone not you would have asked where she was from, who she was with but your face just scrunched in an understanding before pushing up so your palms rested on the wood. Your nails tapped at it, their far too long length making satisfying pings against it. Mouth opening and closing to ask her name but letting it go, at least she didn’t share the same silence. “I’m Ellie.”

Turning your neck to look at her, you still found no curious judgment everyone else had. So you gave her yours back, a normal smile washing over. “You want to sit down? Food in here’s really fucking good.”

Head dropped again, pushing off as you tried to look apologetic through your uncomfortable insides growing. “No, it’s okay. You’re waiting on someone.”

Ellie tried protesting, “No it’s fine, he won’t care.” Pausing for a moment before an amused half smile returned, “Or, well maybe he will but it’s not personal he’s like that with everyone.”

Forcing a polite smile, you knelt down to pull your back over a shoulder. “Thanks, but I uh,” glancing back at the room, “I just don’t really do crowds.”

Before you could turn away she fully she called your name, “Am I going to see you around?”

At the time you didn’t really get why Ellie liked you from the start, but you just nodded. Watching her long enough to return it, satisfied with your answer before you walked out completely. The growing noise of talking rung in your ears as the openness of the street called to settle your nerves.

Completely missing that you almost walked into someone in your need to get out, and definitely not realizing the curious glance they gave you. It wasn’t right away, but Joel sure found out soon enough that Ellie discovered a whole new thing to bombard him about. Not expecting it to be the new person he accidentally barged in on. Frown on his face as he recalled that you looked at him as if flinching back from a fight. A look that sat oddly in his stomach even moreso at your hasty retreat of the building.

To be transparent, you’re still not quite sure now why she took a liking to you. By the time you all had gotten back, you felt that strangeness once again. Reaching the main part of town, you quietly mumbled something about unloading some of your stuff as you spotted Tommy up ahead.

Joel though, reached out and turned you back to him by your waist. His eyes narrowing in concern towards you. “Hey, we’re not asking for privacy, you know that?”

Shaking your head you pointlessly adjusted the straps on your bag, trying not to look directly at him to avoid how easily he knew when you were lying. “No, no it’s-” Your eyes glanced over to the others and swallowed harshly. “Just got a lot of stuff that's not mine, might as well off load it.”

His deep brown eyes looked you up and down, determining something which landed him a conclusion with too many variables to be certain. “Alright.” The hand on your waist traced down the side of your face lightly, “If we’re not home by the time you get back-”

Lips tight together along with your jaw tightening in a clench, “Just head over, got it. Take your time.”

The gravel crunched under your feet as you made your way to up one of the main buildings. The town was overwhelming when you first arrived, and you had to get used to being allowed to have some life here. Then everything fell apart one by one, but now the circle has completed it’s round. You’re right back to where you started only people to go home to and less chances to wonder when you’d finally leave this place.

A few people gave their greetings as you passed them by, the only thing they knew was the three of you were gone for a few days not that so much of your world shook you by your feet. Stripping your soul bare for Joel to see.

Swerving through the gatherings, you ignored the eyes that followed you, or perhaps didn’t even see them. Shutting the door behind you, you dropped your bag with a thud and just as hard dropped your arms to cross on the table pressed up against the wall. Head dropped in there, your legs bent you let the muffled voices lull into your ears, once again getting used to so much.

Realistically everyone had gone through something, events that tore their lives and loved ones away and filled your blood with the anxiety of never seeing them again. And no one found it easy, everyone bled that pain and yet you felt selfish for resenting people here who have their lives build back together.

You weren’t special, and you felt pathetic for wishing others emotions to revolve around compensating your own turmoils. Sighing deeply you finally dragged your head back up, transferring your bag onto the table. Laying out the guns and ammo you had come into possession of, and your shedding the ones not of your own.

Taking your time, you unloaded and cleaned out everything methodically before scratching the details down on the lined paper laying about. Whoever had been in here last didn’t even put much care into keeping it all together clearly. It usually wasn’t in such a state, at least when you were doing inventory it wasn’t.

Heat rising in your chest, you paused to unzip your jacket. Pulling out the ammo kept in one of the pockets before tossing the article onto the empty stool across the small space. You must have been in there longer then you noticed, when the door opened the sounds that pooled in were quieter then when you walked in.

Hands hovered mid air, you felt annoyed that you just lost count. Peeking over you were surprised to see who it was. “You’ve been in here forever, thought I’d check and see if you’re alive.”

Alex was a tall man, probably a little younger then Tommy with a shiny smile and a bit too full of a bravado for your patience. You weren’t even sure the last time you spoke to him, or even wanted too honestly. There’s only been about four people that have heard more then a few words from you in weeks and he was certainly not one of them.

Looking at him, you tilted your head in an aloof manner. Unsure what to respond to his comment but no doubt he found a way to fill the silence. “Barley seen you the past few days,” Not technically a lie but also not even true considering you’ve been out of the town for days. “The lot of us, just wondering who’s been keeping you away- or busy, you know?”

There was no question who he meant, but clearly not on the same level for why he was referring too them, and you did not want to hear it. Not bothering to look at him, one of your fingertips tapped against the wood as you counted what was left in the box albeit with a bit more tensing strain in it’s knuckle that matched with the clench in your jaw. “I keep myself busy just fine.”

Your tone flat and restrained, not a hint at all to him though. Alex had thick luscious hair he no doubt spend too much time on, too many chemicals on top of it likely made it harder for any real facts get into his brain. A few women you’ve worked around with commented on how handsome it made him look, but lord did you not follow what they were talking about.

“No, no, yeah. I just mean you moved like what? Last week? And suddenly you’re hardly around?” If your hands tensed even more the bones would snap. “So that’s just how it works now? He tells you to move in with him and you just follow orders.”

The lifetime of anxiety you had been through felt odd in comparison as you just stood there and felt far to uncomfortable to tell this man to shut up. This was not the time you could handle Alex’s newfound issues with Joel. “It’s not like that.”

Wow, you tell him. By now you’ve recounted five times and still couldn’t even guess how much ammo you have and the frustration was rising in your throat. Your name coming from his mouth sounded nowhere near as warm and soothing as it did from Joel’s, feeling almost pathetic for wishing he was here when you had been away for what? An hour or two?

Or was it just Alex’s condescension that had you yearning for Joel’s intimate quiet. “Problem is babe, it is just that.” Since when did he think you wanted to be called something like that by him of all people? It pinged in your chest like a drop of water freezing each spot it drips onto. “You were finally starting to open up, and then what? Miller comes along and suddenly you’re never around, and fuck if you told me you moved in with him? Pretty awkward trying to stop by your house only to walk in and it’s empty.”

Your lungs tightened as your eyes narrowed. Head turning enough to look at him with something much like a glare. “You just walked into my house?”

Alex just looked at you like you were an idiot, shrugging his shoulders. “Sorry for wanting to know where you were, besides not like it’s your anymore right?”

Your palms slid to rest on the table edges, looking down while you breathed through your nose to settle the ice within you. It didn’t matter if you didn’t live there, Alex didn’t know that and he wasn’t just allowed to walk in. Only two people did and they both knew you were okay with it. Why was Alex acting like this? This only started when people begun putting two and two together regarding Joel but you had no idea why.

Giving up, you slid your eyes shut to take a deep breathe. Letting the flow, swim through to your heart as it forced it’s pace to simmer. You could hear him ask if you were even listening, but you refused to open your eyes until your heart moved back in proper place.

Your limbs lost some tension giving you the strength enough to scribble down the rest of the details and leaned up on your toes to pin it on the wall. Head down and voice low, you wanted to just leave so you kept calm. “I have things to do, Alex. We’ll talk about this later.”

Talk about what, was not part of the planning process. He did however, sigh and flop his back against one of the uncluttered walls and crossed his arms across his chest. “As you wish.” Letting the room be quiet as you finished storing the unloaded weapons and doing your bag back up.

Turning to reach for your jacket, you found him holding it out for you with one hand and a very flat fallen expression. Gently taking it you mumbled, “Thank you.” Before electing to drape it over your bag carried shoulder.

You made it a few steps into the main hall before he muttered angrily under his breath. “God forbid he catches you alone with another man, right?” Your boots squeaked as you pivoted in place, incredulity plastered all over you. But he just raised his hands and shook his head refusing to look at you. “Woah sorry, forgot he doesn’t like having of humour either. It was a joke.”

No idea where that came from, you just swallowed something heavy and unpleasant feeling in your throat before turning abruptly. Not even bothering to put your jacket on before making your way into the freezing wind.

Already too far away, you missed the uncomfortable stare down occurring between Alex and Maria, who by sheer accident had heard most of the latter half of the man’s immaturity. Ever the clever woman, gears already turned in her head that she knew weren’t clicking in yours.

Walking back to Joel’s house, you couldn’t push away something that didn’t go down when you tried shoving. A strange feeling in your limbs and chest like they were tingling, a warning of tensity that spiked your subconscious. A sensation following you all the way up the steps. It didn’t quite all get caught behind the front door as you shut it though.

No, whatever this pricking in your limbs danced within your chest as well, just dulled by the immediate sight of Ellie who had clearly not made it to her own bed. A bowl of something on the coffee table and her body flailed out in exhaustion.

Quiet as you could, you sat your bag down in the main entrance before tip toeing over. Her own bag sat on the floor in front of her, your eye also caught to a blanket on the opposite end to her feet. Finally, a soft smile made it’s way over you. Very slowly pulling the material over to rest over her shoulder. With a shake of your head you grabbed her bag and made your way to her room, quietly putting it in sight on the bed she clearly thought she wasn’t tired enough to need.

Joel’s door sat ajar, but little noise came from it. You wondered if too he fell victim to the same sleepy fate. Your fingers tapped at the wall, debating to go in. Something about Alex’s conversation bothered you, but you weren’t entirely sure why or what part of it did.

Pushing it open slightly, the light at his bedside was on, and some of his clothes were still sat out like he just peeled them off. Glancing back at the main washroom the door was shut but no water was on. He probably just finished.

Waves of similar tiredness washed over you finally now that the familiarity of this place settled. A few tilts to stretch your neck slid into a deep sigh. Opening one of the top dresser drawers to pull out a new pair of socks, you managed to get as far as closing it before sliding onto the ground seemed like the more feasible spot. Starting to undo your laces with your back pressed against the drawer handles you could hear shuffling from Joel behind the door, causing a deeper sigh.

The exhale there giving more and more weight to your shoulder, you peeled the first shoe off and tossed it towards Joel’s and dragged the wet sock down. Soles of your heels cracked in some spots and calloused in others, your head banged against the wood for just a moment.

Joel found you in the middle of all this, towel sat at his waist with water still peeking through the thick volume of hair now mostly slicked back. His brown eyes soft as they gazed towards you, while yours looked similar but also tinged in something further away. A growing look Joel still was figuring out how to address.

Finally replacing your feet covering with thick, warm socks you let your legs spread flat onto the floor your head once again resting on the drawers behind you. “Bed too comfortable for you?”

Head dropping back as you chuckled slightly, words didn’t come as easily. Watching Joel step inside enough to properly close the door, you couldn’t help but look back up at him. Your heart beat a little faster, but in two fashions. One you had become accustomed too. Broad chest wide and expansive giving way to a softer stomach with various scars scattered about. Most of which you knew of.

The more comprehensible of sides wondered if you could lay Joel out on his back across the sheets and recite each part of him as if knowing him skin deep extended to his heart, imagining his large hands resting at the sides of your thighs. Squeezing tighter handfuls when you lightly trace over more sensitive spots. But that wasn’t the only speed.

That yearning to prove you were in his heart fought against a dark tightening in yours. As if for a split second, looking at Joel nearly bare standing above you, sparked a flicker of fear. It felt familiar in a way, but not identifiable and certainly inexplicable with him.

If he detected that millisecond of emotion, he chose to ignore it as you spoke. Voice almost cracked from how weak your throat wanted to put effort into. “I got as far as the drawer, then gave up. Forgot how much work hiking through all that snow is.”

Finding a spot between the open spread of your legs, he looked down with a genuine curiosity one hand outstretching to you. “I get it, me and Ellie spent pretty much all last winter out in the goddamn woods. Where’d you usually go during winter?”

Eyebrows raising you nodded towards the towel, “Bit of a long towel for putting on a show don’t you think?” His face fell flat and you breathed out a small laugh at how quickly he almost dropped his hand.

Pulling you up with one and the other finding a steadying place on your hip he dropped his chin, eyes closing for a moment. “Don’t tempt me, I’m too tired to make it worth your while. Gettin-”

Nudging his stomach with a few fingers, he smirked at your own eye rolling one. “If you say if it’s because your getting old everyone in this house must be ancient.” You started to pull away, turning enough to pull your flannel off. “Besides you’ve more then proved appetite's not an issue.”

Joel knew you purposely nodded towards his lower half with that look. Either teasing how getting him worked up was the opposite of the truth or his stomach that both of you full well knew you’d never actually even want to tease. Wasn’t a good day in that house unless someone made fun of someone else for a numerous of dumb reasons.

Your back turned now from him, you got as far as the closet before you felt fingers grasping at your shirt and tugging you back into Joel’s chest. Both of his hands resting at your waist. Voice low in your ear rumbling through your head. “I asked you a question.”

For briefest of seconds you almost slipped up with a laugh, but it failed on your tongue. A shiver not from the cold tingling down the length of your spine. The second time in one day something wormed it’s way into your head that you were too tired to enough to identify. The spots Joels hands met your own body suddenly so much more present in your alertness.

He smoothed one of them out to his palm, sliding down to your hip as he crowded you, his height looming over you enough rest part of his head trying to peek down to the front of yours. “I didn’t mean to-”

Shaking no, you at least sounded softer unlike the uncomfortable feeling inside. “No, you’re fine. I just...” Why were you considering lying? Joel knows when you’re not telling him the truth, why would you risk a lie? “Last few just you know, cold and quiet. Being on my own, and all.”

His palm running up and down your hip, chest humming into your back with your name. “I know you said you don’t want to talk about earlier, but” your heart leaped and apparently so did your body because Joel was tugging you back into his chest before you realized you even had strayed. “But something else is bothering you, more then when we just got back.”

Trapped behind an underlying anxiety that had never occurred to you until just now. Was it the conversation itself, or were you trying to pretend as if far off in the woods did his voice repeat just one thing? Being alone with men wasn’t an issue of any kind between you and Joel, so why on earth did Alex make you feel guilty for it?

Being quiet for too long, Joel pressed his lips to the side of your head. One high, one lower, and one just below your ear. “Okay. How about we lay down for a while first?” Pulling back his cheek pressed to the side of your head, staring at the same nothing you did. “Beacuse I know for a fact you haven’t slept in days.”

Luck gracing you, Joel’s calmness and warmth pushed down the growing cold inside you. He wasn’t one for pushing people to open up about what was wrong, and certainly not with you. No, you and him had a little too much in common like that for Joel to force things before they were ready.

He hummed more in the tune of satisfied when you nodded. Exhale deflating your shoulders instead of your mind focusing on how Joel was holding you, now it just wanted his touch back in general. The fog of what was wrong pushed away, already having forgetting the fleeting second of fear entirely.

You should have known you were right. His appetite for you wasn’t at all diminished with time. The lack of any kind of underwear when he put on a pair of sweatpants was a clear indicator the man was either consciously or subconsciously thinking of easy access.

The fact that he handed you a pair, that just so happened to also be his, should have given it away as well. Getting old, your ass. Crawling under the covers you immediately shoved your face into the softness of the pillow, something halfway between a sigh and a moan muffling into the material at something under your head that wasn’t the ground.

Bed dipping on the other side, you turned partially to look at him. Feeling stupid for ever considering he meant anything more duplicitous then the kindness emminating off his face. Hair still slightly wet and the right angle of light from the window made the greys stand out. Arm lazily reaching out to run your hand slightly through it.

Smiling at the groan that left his mouth as soon as your nails scratched into is scalp, Joel yanked your arm away with a frown before just hauling you into his chest. Cradling your back once more he had you both turned to keep out of the direct sunshine from your faces.

Your free arm tucked into you while the other found it’s hold on Joel’s wrist, as his now kept you against him by your hip. For a few minutes, there was content silence in the house, not even the hustle outside crept it’s way inside. You didn’t notice when your eyes slid shut, or even register if you had been awake this whole time or if you dozed off for a few minutes.

The feeling of Joel dragging his nose down your hair until finding your neck to place another kiss at had you fidget in his hold. “Did everything go alright?” He was quiet for a second trying to let his brain catch up only to pull back when you tried turning to see him did he just keep you closer then before as you started to clarify. “You know, with-”

He hummed while his head moved against the back of yours. “Went fine. I think Maria has a few more questions but guess she figured she’d let us rest first.” It could be comical how Joel lifted his head off the pillow to see your face clearly before the guilt set in. “Hey, this ain’t-”

“I know, I know. Just...” You trailed off, almost awkwardly.

Joel gently pulled some of your hair from being too much in your face, “What?”

Flickering up to see him, you decided to burrow further into the pillow. Dark eyes too deep and intense to look into sometimes. “I don’t know. Sometimes I just wonder what she thinks of me. Bringing in some pretty big problems when all I wanted was a bed.”

His mouth still close to your skin you felt the smirk forming. “Yeah don’t worry I think I have you beat on giving her the wrong impression.” Both of you chuckled as your free hand went to seek out his wrist once more, wanting something of him to hold onto.

Sparks pinching into your skin where Joel’s fingers danced up and down, peeking under your shirt and stopping just at your waistline before starting the track over. “Tommy made some mention about that I think. Something about painting you like an asshole, getting Maria on her high horse about you.”

Pausing you leaned your head back, feeling his neck lifted up to see you better still. His other arm had propped his head up by the elbow as you spoke. “Okay he didn’t say that to me. I said that to her.”

Rumbled laughter bounced from your ear and down into your chest as he let out a louder laugh before it tapered off to something further back in memory. “It’s better now. Tommy may have said some things, but I also wasn’t exactly in the best place when we first got here. Probably didn’t make things any better.”

More time passed you couldn’t be sure if you dozed through. Neither you or Joel had moved but you could feel his chest rise and fall with each passing breathe and the softness of his stomach press perfectly against your lower back. You suspected he may be awake, the dancing of his fingertips traced along your waistline without straying far.

Your heart spoke two languages once more. One you knew and understood, a gentle yearning for Joel to be as close as possible even if that meant part of him being inside you in whichever way you could get. The other though? The speeding of your heart that felt like a warning aimed and ready to sound, that one confused you.

His touch warm as they tucked themselves under the soft clothing but didn’t slide too far. Just tracing your hips as much as a he could before very slowly inching further along the skin. Not quite ready to translate, you turned partially to give his hand more space to explore what he wished. The soothing gesture of his palm flattening to run across your skin.

Neither of you spoke, almost unwilling to break the serene peace that so commonly avoided coming near you. Your hitched breathe and Joel’s controlled but deep ones behind hitting part of your neck where he brushed a space clear for himself.

The roughness of his own hand contrasted the softness underneath, much like Joel himself. Too often the looks he gave to people held little behind them that mattered. So few in his life meant anything truly important and yet he let you inside of that. Opened his heart and let you tenderly care for the emotions within that ran miles beyond anger or danger. It was an intimacy you didn’t really understand, but now you sort of do if only for Joel. Harsh, but trusting that roughness wasn’t his only side.

So close to his touch, skipping past your ass Joel cupped the plush skin right below one of your cheeks and a deeper inhale proceeded a shaky exhale right over your neck. Finding the inside of your thighs, right before reaching between your legs you felt it.

The air from his lungs wasn’t the shaking cold in your neck, because the blanket over top you both and his hands ran warm. Yet you felt your legs do the same. Joel’s movements pausing, gripping your inner thigh more firmly and shifted behind you.

You didn’t want to lie to him, you don’t know why you couldn’t stop thinking about that. But you also didn’t want to break this peace. So you let the shiver finally free fall down your back and snugged back into him more. Hoping to feign the cold.

He didn’t say he bought it, but your muscles relaxed in his touch regardless. So the one he danced over your inner thighs leaped. Two fingers moving up and down the middle of your underwear every so lightly up to your clit where he pressed down just the tiniest bit more. Releasing the pressure and back down. Once, twice, five times before he let his hand cup your whole mound.

The feeling of this thumb smoothing up and down the space just before your underwear begun harmonized with his whole hand rubbing ever so slightly. The heel of his palm not teasing rough on your clit like he had done before, instead teasing your covered pussy.

A shaky sigh leaving your lips, Joel uses his leverage to pull your hips into his pushing forward. His cock thick against your ass as he grinds into you just the slightest. Almost instinctively you found yourself leaning back into it, sparks inside you alighting at how quickly you could feel him grow harder and harder. Your arm reached back to seek him out, Joel using his own free one to grab it, bring them up to his lips.

His kiss was small and delicate at the same instance he ground his cock into you. Draping your arm behind so you could grasp at his hair, your nails scratched up and down the strands. Quiet hums of need held back in his throat, he turned to lay you on your back. His top half leaning over you, with his hand still rubbing you over your underwear.

Both of your arms shifted to hold the side of his neck and face, your thumb rubbing over the coarse facial hair. The worrying ping in your heart felt funny now that you looked at him. His eyes soulful as they drop down to your lips and shamelessly look between them and up once more, but they also held need. Like the tightness of his hands on you, Joel’s face wasn’t soft and adoring it was crestfallen and almost emotional.

He needed something he wasn’t voicing. Your gaze flickered between his own parted lips and his eyes before slipping shut. Both moving towards the other at the same time Joel’s kiss was rougher then expected.

Lips demanding you follow his, let him guide you deeper into his kiss and tease your tongue desperate to pull the gasping whine you always tried to hide. But he wanted those sounds to echo in his own and the exhaustion would have to wait.

Nails back in his hair, Joel’s kiss was as needy and sloppy as his hand was desperate to slide under the fabric of your underwear. The warmth of his hand nothing compared to the heat between your legs, but not close to where he felt most comfortable with you.

His tongue draped across yours with each new press of his lips, and two thick fingers of his pressed into your clit making small rubs. His touch both devouring and exposing, you had two thoughts. That you didn’t know why you were having such pockets of uncomfortability, and that you knew Joel wouldn’t just ask to be taken care of.

So if you didn’t want to be honest of what you did not understand, you would do what he deserved to have. One of your legs bent by the knee putting the foot flat on the bed as you pushed him away from your mouth. The kiss sloppy enough that both of your lips had a sheen of saliva coating them. Gently you guided Joel to lay flat on his back and assumed his position.

Leaning over him and capturing a much less deep kiss as your hand smoothed and nails lightly scratched down his chest and back. Nails carving up, palm smoothing down lower with each iteration of the route.

Moving one of your legs up and over to settle on the other side of his hips, you shushed his eyes ready to question. Shaking your head and kissing him once more. A smile across your face, small but soft at how affected he was.

On display, Joel felt no fear showing you what was stripped away. Both a burning rough need to have you,, make sure you both are here and to stay, but also exhaustion. Days out in the winter and more scares then any of you three ever wanted. His brain begged for sleep, but your hips just barley sat on his covered cock and your hand on his fast beating heart that needed something else.

Kissing down the length of his body, you stopped at each mark. Just a soft kiss, could even be called a peck but each one was covered start to finish before you slinked down to his sweatpants. Your palms smoothing up and down his thighs, his chest was far more tense then when you had been up there. A clench in his jaw as you bent down to kiss at his soft waistline.

Tugging his pants down slowly you kissed along with the exposed skin until getting to his cock. Joel’s hands fisting the sheets beside him, you gently pulled him out and did nothing to help the growing tension at your touch.

Moving to kiss the tip of his cock, you slide them down his thick length, your tongue licking him just as wet as his own kiss was to your mouth. You could hear his breathing grow harsher, but still tried keeping his hands to himself.

By the time you were ready to take him, you had coated his entire length. Your hand coming up to gently grip the base of his cock, much more gentle then you knew he would take himself. Slowly stroking up and down the saliva made a slick sound with each move, but it was when you licked his tip and barley let him into your mouth before moving back gently did Joel get fed up.

One of his hands grabbing the back of your hair and tugging to make you look up. Slightly sat up, his face as clenched and tense. Nostrils flared as he breathed heavily, and was the one to break the serene silence. His voice rough, almost a rasp like holding back had cracked his vocal cords. “Don’t tease me, sweet girl. Let me slide down your pretty throat, okay?”

His hand in your hair was tight, but it clenched at your heart too. The pinging in your chest nowhere to be seen, you nodded eyes wide and ready to listen. Joel’s darker ones blazed with something much more then greed. Readjusting so most of your hair was out of your face, you let Joel be the one to guide you back down onto his cock.

He didn’t let you tease him further. As soon as you had his tip in your mouth, Joel stuttered a whispering groan out at the feeling, “Oh fuck,” Your trust was in his grip, and the man knew exactly what you could handle. The hand gentle around his girth moved uselessly to hold at his hip, Joel pushing your wet mouth down onto his cock until about halfway.

Already licking what you could get, Joel held you there. Letting the saliva accumulate in your mouth enough that it may have felt embarrassing if it were with anyone else. He watched it spill from the corners and down his cock. You finally felt him push your head again, moving barley an inch down before pulling you up.

Never allowing you off him in anyway, Joel pushed and pulled your head up and down as you licked and greedily sucked his cock. Your eyes shut and a noise building in your chest that wasn’t quite a moan or a groan but just a needy sound that had Joel swearing more. Each time he moved you half an inch more of his length, “That’s right, good girl. Nice and slow, just like we practiced.”

A whine vibrated against him and Joel accidentally pushed you down barley an inch from the base of his cock with a moan, but he held you there. Your hands were tight on his thighs, but as long as your nails didn’t dig deep enough that it felt sharp, he knew you wanted more.

The pace he guided you to bob along his cock sped, and his stomach muscles went wild with a twisting pleasure. You sucked at his tip as he came close to grunting, collecting his words. “All the way down now, sweetheart.”

This time guiding you much slower, his deep voice never leaving as he pushed. “Fuck- oh fuck, see sweet girl? You’re perfect, throats meant to let me fill it up.” His hips pushed up a bit more by now, his grip less intense, more just holding you so he could thrust as he needed.

You sucking every shallow thrust he gave, the saliva and precum soaking your lips and his cock weren’t the only thing dripping. The pressure of how deep and thick he sat in your throat pulled stinging tears and a shameless muffled whine as Joel thrusted deep enough to keep you as far as you could.

Your nose pressed up against the thick, dark hair surrounding his cock. Hands holding his hips so much more desperately as you once again made indeterminate sounds of need behind his length. He pushed and pulled your head down his cock in tandem with the thrusts he could manage as the cum and saliva made a soaking mess and the wet sounds of just how much of it there was the only thing aside from whatever moans and deep mumbling of need Joel could voice.

You felt his cock throb in your mouth, almost too much too fast that you almost panicked, but you didn’t know which, what way. Joel’s moans were short and raising in pitch, breathless, “Oh god, fuck sweetheart, oh fuck-” barley audible but you decided you wanted to give him more.

Grabbing the hand at the back of your head, you covered it and pushed down until you once again were overwhelmed with his entire length down your throat and your own insides leaping at how too much too fast it was.

But you sucked, nose still pressed against the coarse hair, palms sliding up to grasp what sides of his ass you could reach from his back to the sheets. Your hand not moving, Joel moved enough to grab yours and switch. His larger hand now covering yours and keeping you sucked his cock, neither caring how much of a sloppy mess being made. “Gonna make me cum, sweet girl. Let me spill down this perfect, fucking throat, okay?”

You barley got a nod out before it snapped. Joel’s head falling back hard into the pillow behind as his hips trusted up into your mouth as he came. Your gag reflex from the pressure almost so much so quickly your heart lept in panic, but his warm cum spilling inside your mouth kept you as together as you could.

His cock so deep inside, you swallowed what you could but mostly you just were held there taking what he fed you as he mumbled incoherently above, only your name and what could only be expletives in Spanish being made out.

Joel’s hand finally easing up as he finally stopped coming, his body flushed and heaving. Sweat accumulating on his hair and chest despite the blinding white snow flying outside the window as he came back down to his senses.

You pulled off his cock slowly, as you gently sucked and licked your way off but there was no escaping how swollen and stained in his cum your lips were. Your head dropped against his hips trying to catch your breathe when Joel coaxed you up to him.

His torso moving to sit up, Joel had you partially in his lap. His eyes drooping and his face dropped in compete content, Joel swiped two fingers across your lips. Intending to drop them down to your pussy, you stopped. Something back inside your chest that you just couldn’t handle or even try to vocalize at that moment.

Instead, you pulled them both into his mouth, sucking them just as clean. His eyes narrowed, more grumbling in Spanish before pulling them out of your mouth and cupping the side of your face. His nose nudging against yours, Joel was so close to your lips you could feel them as he spoke. “Let me take care of you.”

Shaking your head you kissed him gently. Swipes of your tongues not needy, but a loving tease before you pulled away. You being the one to nudge his nose with yours this time and twin grins when it made Joel smirk. “Sleep first, Miller. We can play more later.”

Joel rolled his eyes, pulling you into his chest as he lay both of you down. Your leg swung across his and most of your upper half draped over his chest as both his arms held you to him. “Play later...Jesus christ, sweetheart.”

A kiss pressed to his heart, you focused on him. If he were to have his way, Joel no doubt would insist on giving you something in return. But he was content, exhausted and too selfish to let you out of his arms, so he missed both how clearly soaking wet and turned on you were but also that twice now you talked him out of touching you.

Laying there for a while, both of you knew sleep hadn’t come to either of you yet. One of his hands stroked over your hair, when his voice low and serious spoke up. “What kept you so long this afternoon?”

Joel was more awake then you, eyes open and trained on nothing above as he felt your head snuggle into his chest more. His arms tightening at the sensation. You weren’t awake enough to remember why you didn’t bring anything up.

You sighed lightly, “Alex caught me in the storage room.”

Whatever ping had kept your heart jumping beats in your chest earlier, twisted in an unsettled darkness in Joel’s at how that sounded, your next sleepy words doing little to make it better. “Just hassling me about you, I don’t know. He’s just been...mean...since you and I...”

You didn’t at all remember your words by this point, and Joel couldn’t even tell if you were actually conscious, but if your sleep answered honestly he was there to listen.

“Said he shouldn’t be alone with me, kind of like...”

Whatever that was leading too was the exact honesty not even your waking self realized was closing in on how uneasy you kept bleeding into. You didn’t think any words were said before you both fell asleep, but it wasn’t just anger brewing in Joel’s head as he lay there.

Feeling you sleeping in his arms, more then one thing spun in his head and he liked none of them and even more of those had no answer. But, Joel too was exhausted, and finally just let himself drift off alongside you.

Joel would wake up before you only to realize it was getting dark out. Slipping out slowly, Joel stopped at the washroom before peeking into Ellie’s still empty bedroom. Finding her still passed out on the couch, Joel just shook his head with a smile.

Just as carefully as he left the bed to leave you undisturbed, Joel moved Ellie all the way into her own bed. Her grumbles at being jostled in her sleep and the furrowed brows alongside almost made Joel chuckle out loud.

He found himself actually just watching her for bit. Stuck at her bedside, a soft brightness in his eyes until he heard you shift around in the blankets.

Turns out all three if you had let the weight of the past few days leave everyone a bit more sleep deprived then perhaps any of you had been honest about. Tomorrow, whatever foggy list of things bouncing along Joel’s brain would be dealt with then.

For now, he slunk back into his bedroom. Finding that as soon as he was under the covers, you twisted around to meet him in the middle face to face. The comfort of the others warmth at night being a gift he, deep down, felt painfully in his heart, that you once thought you didn’t deserve.

More than once you were told to just relax that morning, but you felt restless. Only getting as far as mid morning before making your way into one of the kitchens. At least if your hands were occupied that took a bit of strain off your wandering mind.

To your benefit, the others seemed to leave you be. Letting you finish one thing before nudging you over to something else without much direction. Good thing considering you barley heard any of the chatter around you, images blasting by in your head so quickly all your energy was focused on figuring out why you had this odd feeling in your gut.

There had been spurts of it before, small moments or tiny splashes of emotion that pulled you into the dark but spat you back out just as quick. Now it felt more consuming, like a shadow that kept growing and wrapping itself around you. As you stood there however, a voice seemed to trickle into your ears and a phantom tracing over your skin.

Why would you be thinking of those days right now? That made less sense then how you felt. Or why they would even be connected, until multiple faces blended into one. Alex had never done anything like that to you, or even shown hints that he may. And yet, the way he cornered you? You found yourself blending the two enough. He talked like them and realistically, looked like them in a way.

That claustrophobia as he stood at the only door trying to what? Yell at you about Joel? What did any of this have to do with each other and why couldn’t you stop thinking about it?

Vaugley you heard some rumblings outside, but it didn’t grab your attention the way it did a few of the others until turning to pass something off to another. Only to find a few of them huddled together in gossip, and their eyes already turned your way with intent.

Head tilting to the side as your brows furrowed in confusion, one of the women gestured to the front of the building. “I think your boy might be having a bit of a row.” Your face scrunched in even more confusion, as she continued. “Tall, dark hair, bit of an attitude?”

Being completely honest with yourself, that did very little to narrow it down. A few guys you knew in this place fit that description. Regardless, you turned to put everything down and headed to the front door.

The cold air as you opened the door shivered against your skin, hands already stiffening from the onslaught. Whatever had happened out here, clearly had died down but the remains were still lingering.

Joel stood a fair few feet away from Alex, his face twisted in residual anger, his dark eyes clearly fired up even from there. Alex himself was far more worked up, turning to try and instigate something once more only to be pulled back. Eventually shaking off the hand on his arm and started to walk away with steam still coming out of his ears.

He didn’t notice you but Joel did. The twisted emotion turning to something a shift more tender as he looked over to you before Maria talked him out of something. She begun walking to you as you and Joel both watched each other, your confusion much stronger then what blend of things he was currently feeling.

Stopping at the bottom of the steps, one of her gloved hands held onto the banister as she nodded inside. “Go grab your coat.” Just pointing to make her instructions more clear as you raised an eyebrow at her. Leave it to Maria to be as purposely vague as possible.

By the time you came back out, Joel was gone. A skip in your heart as your head turned one way then the other to him not being in sight and the onlookers had dissipated. The tension and apprehension in your posture was painfully clear as you stepped down still watching the now empty spot where Joel had been. “What uh-” Looking back she raised her eyebrows as if she knew what you wanted to ask. A kind of expecting expression that likely put many people on guard. “Where exactly are we going?”

Whatever her analysis was, it left her satisfied for now. “My house. Figured you’d like a meal in some peace and quiet.” You weren’t that stupid to think lunch was all she had in mind, but both of you knew there was little chance you’d want to talk out in the open about whatever she had in mind.

If living in Joel’s house felt weird, it was even weirder to be sat at Maria’s kitchen table as she insisted you just ‘relax for once’ a she did the work. Your hands now had nothing to do, and the uncomfortable energy you had still amused the woman.

By the time she put a plate in front of you, you had lost any courage you tried to build up to just speak up and ask her what happened out there. Any phrasing in your head re written and re worked until all of it sounded like a demand for information. Besides, if anyone was able to dodge a question with her own it like nothing, it was her.

Nodding at her with a muttered, “Thank you.”

It looked good, but not enticing. Nothing really felt enticing at the moment, like your stomach was churning with a toxic storm and food wasn’t even really a choice product to add to the mix. It was frustrating, not being able to just ask a simple question. Just staring in the direction of your plate with nothing in sight but what seemed to occupy your vision many hours of the day today. “So, uh..”

Maria interrupted whatever failed thought process died on your tongue. “Did you know I didn’t like Joel when he first got here?” Your head lifting up as it scrunched in confusion again, but she just shrugged one shoulder with a small smirk. “I was already with Tommy by the time we came across them, and neither me or him had much of a first impression.”

You remembered being told that story, not so much the minute details outside of what Joel had said himself. Remaining quiet as she continued.

“I thought he was a bad influence, and I can only assume he didn’t think too differently of me. To be fair though, all I had to go on was Tommy’s word and whoever I thought he was, wasn’t the same man who arrived. Even less so the second time.” Your eyes flickering over to a wall instead. Not quite sure exactly to what extend did she know certain details.

Shrugging, you took a sip of water instead of at all bothering to pretend you could stomach food right now. “You seem fine now.”

Maria smiled more softly. “We got to know each other. It’s not like how you get along with Tommy. I think me and Joel are a little too different to be super buddy buddy, but first impressions are almost never actually the right ones. You remember what I told you that first day you got here?”

Biting the inside of your cheek you stretched your memory, trying to see beyond the feeling of being an alien in a strange new world to more specific details. “Something about just getting used to him?”

Close enough. “I said he’s pretty rough around the edges at first if you don’t know him very well. He can be off putting and I don’t think I’m breaking new ground by saying Joel can be hard to get to know.” If you gave her any credit, that did in fact almost crack a smile. “What I’m getting at, is if you don’t know him, then it’s easy to paint him as a bad person.”

Eyes narrowing in caution you couldn’t connect the dots of her real intentions. “And someone like Alex, doesn’t know the first thing about the man outside of he’s in a relationship with you.” An anxious tingling in your fingers crept upwards. “He doesn’t like that you’re with him, and he’s immature enough to try and say whatever he can to change your mind.”

Nails tapped at the wooden surface, your jaw clenching. “Why would want to break me and him up, just because he doesn’t like Joel?”

Your sincerity caused Maria to pause. The last time you caught her off guard was when she had realized you had feelings for the man himself. But it possibly didn’t occur to her, that it wasn’t his feelings alone you couldn’t figure out. No wonder he had to spell it out for you, you didn’t even seem to realize if someone liked you at all.

Maria’s face however said your answer. The creeping jitters stemmed up into your veins and unsettled every part of your body it swam through. Stammering for a moment, head shaking you tried to laugh it off. “That doesn’t, why would he-”

Leaning forward, Maria’s voice grew louder but not in a yell. Clear dictation like she knew to cut through the uncomfortable denial. “Because sometimes men are fucking stupid. And even stupider when it comes to liking a woman. Alex likes you, you’re with Joel so it pisses him off. Joel confronts him and it starts a fight because god forbid two hot heads like them manage to talk anything out.”

That made you pause. You didn’t say anything about yesterday to Joel, or at least that you could remember. Why would he start something not the other way around. “I thought-”

Relenting she gave some benefit of the doubt, “Joel approached him first pretty pissed off, but Alex made everything worse by punching him. I already stepped in at that point.” You didn’t mean to tune her out, but words became somewhat muffled. Joel didn’t just start fights, you had to give him a good reason to set that part of him off.

Your name being called, your eyes snapped back to her, but your mouth worked faster then hers this time. “What are you getting at, Maria?” Blinking back, she seemed surprised at the bite in tone, or perhaps the stark intensity in your eyes.

Her face looking around mindlessly for a few moments, it almost felt like even she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to say. Analytical gaze gave way to a softer one, almost with a tinge of motherly behind it. Which only made you feel more on edge. “I just- I feel like there’s things about you I’ve seen in other people before. Something you’re not sharing.”

Did she know? Did Maria pull back the curtain and see the visions floating behind your eyes and memories that disappeared when you woke up? It was hard to tell if your silence that followed strengthened or weakened her hypothesis by the way she was looking at you.

Exhaling loudly, she broached that wonder. “Did Alex ever do anything,” a shaking in your limbs took over at the same instance it felt like your lungs refused to work. “Or make you do anything, with him?”

You couldn’t figure out what it was you felt, but it wasn’t wanting to stay here. Voice tight and restrained you looked her right in the eye. “No.”

In an instant you pushed yourself out of the chair so quickly it was surprising it didn’t fall over. A reaction Maria clearly didn’t expect, calling your name as she followed you. Managing to yank into your grasp but your upper arm was grabbed before you reached out to the front door.

Like freezing ice poured onto that spot, you whipped around. Arm jerking back in a flinch, the anger now mixed with something that not only made it hard to breathe, but also felt like it was making your heart start and stop simultaneously. Apologetic, she retracted her hand but kept it out as if to placate you from running again. Your name muttered out of her mouth, but you leaned away from her. “Maria, I said he didn’t do anything.”

“But someone did.” The shaking in your body was too strong to not be visible now. None of what she seemed to know had anything to do with your life here, with these people. So her dragging something up that you weren’t even aware she figured out? You felt like she had just exposed you, tearing off your covering and leaving it to be seen by anyone. Even if it was just the two of you here.

Vile crept up in your throat, leaving you sick, nauseous but like the inevitable wasn’t gross just unfairly painful. If you breathed, it would shake and it could all tumble out. Maria’s hand touched your arm but this time, her grasp gentle. A comfort you no doubt might have appreciated if you didn’t feel as if your chest was compressing in on you. “I’m not trying to force you into talking about any of it. But something tells me that you’ve never talked about it with anybody.”

Fingers twitching, digging into your jacket and almost letting it slip with each flex. Trying to exhale through your nose, shoulders deflated a bit. Enough to hopefully let her finish whatever she was trying to get at. “And I think you should. If not with me, then Joel.”

Swallowing hard, you got enough out almost on the verge of cracking. “Why?”

Once again she seeked something out in your expression, and whatever she found you didn’t know. “Because keeping it a secret isn’t going to make you feel any better. And the last person Joel wants to hear it from is me.”

In retrospect, you couldn’t tell if that was a threat. You didn’t even know what you were feeling, but she did and somehow understands the bigger picture. Would she really just tell Joel what she suspected if you don’t? You figured they didn’t matter.

Joel was fine enough with that first night, you didn’t lash out or cry afterall and by the time it was all over you saw no point in bringing it up. He was satisfied it seemed, and you were too. Why should he be weighed down with things that shouldn’t concern him?

You hardly could stand looking at her anymore, standing in her house or being inside at all. Turning finally she let you walk out, and said nothing as you slammed the door behind you. Feet taking you only a few feet into the snowy street before stopping to put your jacket on.

You get into one stupid disagreement with a friend and look at all the trouble it caused. Alex wouldn’t have talked to you that way, made you feel that way if he liked you and he sure as hell wasn’t anything like before.

He was an idiot, before was just a fleeting memory that shouldn’t reflect on anyone except you. None of this had to do with each other, none of it had to do with Joel. Love wasn’t supposed to be complicated and messy. All bringing this up did was make it so, and you didn’t see why other people needed to feel the burden of your issues.

Glancing over at the people milling about, the overwhelmingly normal life many carved out for themselves here. Wasn’t the point to leave your past behind? Maria was wrong you decided. The past had nothing to do with now, Joel, or anyone and it was stupid to pretend like it mattered.

Cold air dug into your skin, biting wind that should have stung more then you felt. You opening your mouth at all caused a fight. You’d apologize to Joel for it, and leave everything else behind. Your problems were your problems, Joel wouldn’t care as long as you don’t burden him with it.

First though, you needed to be alone for a little while. Away from people, and push back all of the confusion swelling your skull for as long as you could stand it. You’ll fix everything when you’ve shaken off the unsettled ill in your stomach that Maria shouldn’t have put there in the first place.

You hadn’t really noticed how dark it became until a voice called it out. “You know there are things called lights inside, right?” You had found yourself perched on a bench with scraps of paper, sketching mostly alone in a secluded area off the main street. Head whipping up, your skin crawled in on itself at Alex’s approaching figure. Instantly your face fell to annoyance, getting up walk away only to be interrupted by him, “Woah, woah, wait a minute I just wanna say something.”

Keeping far more distance between you then was necessary, you still granted him the time. Head turned to the sight of the street empty, and flickered only your eyes back to him.

It was further annoying that he seemed surprised you stayed, taking more then a quick moment to collect himself and looking much more smug then the bashful guilt he approached. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, okay? You’re my friend, I was just looking out for you.” Head inching more to face him, but your glare grew. “We barley see you anymore, I think I have the right to be worried. Whatever this thing between you and Miller is starts up, and suddenly you’re too busy for us and you disappear for days at a time. What was I supposed to think?”

Arms crossed in front of your chest, you were thankful he stayed far from you. Unable to spot your nails digging into your palms harshly, “That what me and him are doing shouldn’t be any of your business. Or that you’re not as smart as you think you are if you don’t know two private people want to spend time with each other in private.”

His face twisted in incredulity. “You just expect me to believe that the second I brought him up yesterday, you looking scared was just some weird coincidence?”

Voice raising, you tried to keep your own level. Empty streets doesn’t mean the air around you isn’t listening. “No, Alex what scared me is you.” His eyebrow raised in confusion and more upset just settled in your stomach, but without the anger to mask it. “You cornered me, blocked the door and told me I shouldn’t be alone in a room with you.”

You felt rather small by this point. His rolling eyes making you feel like a whining child who didn’t know what you were talking about. “What now it’s my fault? You know that asshole punched me in the face right?”

Pointing to what looked like a black eye, it barley even stood out. Joel clearly didn’t give him anywhere near what he could have. “So he hit you first?”

Alex said nothing, and that was that. Trying to say your name, you started walking a wide path around him, arms curling in more on yourself when he tried calling you stay. Not looking directly you stopped just long enough to glance to the side, his figure barley visible. “I-,” You exhaled shakily, fumbling with your words that would sound much braver from anyone other then yourself. “I think we should go our separate ways. You’re supposed to be my friend but not if this is what it’s going to be like.”

Not close enough to hear what he said, but not yet too far to not detect the petulant complaint in his voice. Liking you isn’t a reason to get in between the only life you’ve wanted to find with another person. Alex was just a jerk, but then again, so was someone similar.

It annoyed you, coming to the conclusion that Maria was right. Something else did happen, and as you walked slowly through the street, lights above illuminating the slowly accumulating snow fall, you started to understand that he just reminded you of that something.

His looks, the way he talked to you, all so similar to before, and so completely unlike what Joel was like to you. It still felt messy in your head. Just strands of thoughts, and half conclusions that you hadn’t yet organized into something coherent. To you it didn’t add up yet, and possibly saying all of it out loud might connect those dots.

But you didn’t want to tell just anyone for your own sake. Reaching the house, you glanced up seeing light in Ellie’s room and what probably was Joel’s room as well. You still didn’t want to unload these scattered thoughts onto him, but if you had too, you only wanted it to be Joel. Alex was right about one thing for the wrong reason.

You were scared of telling Joel the truth, but not because your fear was of him, but because to you none of it should matter. You had him, you worked and you didn’t want to ruin that but not saying anything couldn’t be making Joel feel any better not knowing at this point.

The house was quiet, each step of your feet against the wood echoed uncomfortably. Ellie’s door was partially open, distracted by whatever it was she had been reading you peeked in and passed by undetected. You figured there was a little too much stirring in your mind for her at that moment. Joel’s door was also partially open, only this time you couldn’t just peak in and dash out.

Joel sat at the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees as brown eyes followed you both softly yet lost in their own thoughts. A faint yet new mark struck across his cheek, prompting you forward. Hand reaching up to look at him closely, Joel caught it before and kept them hovered between you before pulling to get you sitting beside him.

Worry swam through your veins as you looked him over for anything else but he clearly had gotten the better hit in. If Maria knew you pretty well, Joel knew you a thousand miles better. Already ahead of your mind, he half shrugged. “You mentioned what happened last night. I think you were half asleep, but it was enough get the picture.”

He let your hand rise up, thumb trail over the red mark with a feather light tenderness as your brows narrowed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you involved like this.”

An answer Joel did not aspire too. “I know you didn’t. Which is why I went to talk to him in the first place.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you hesitated in thought. “I’m not going to force you to tell me things, but that doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to not care if your upset over it.”

From the scratching of his facial hair, your hand dropped down into your lap your head with it. “I-, it wasn’t that that upset me. I mean it was, but like, it wasn’t really about him.”

Joel’s eyes narrowed in thought, but let you take your time getting out what needed to be said. “If none of this makes any sense just stop me, because honestly I don’t even know if I understand myself here.”

The problem arose though, you didn’t really know what you wanted to say. The air between you both quiet and awkward, the longer it went on the longer sitting so close to Joel felt too close. Pushing up from the bed you mindlessly paced towards the drawer. Turned so your back was against the wood with your palms braced against them.

Joel said nothing. Knowing all too well how difficult it was to open up about certain things and how trying to talk you into feeling calm about it might only clam you up more. Your nails tapped rhythmically as you stared at Joel’s feet. Eyes sharp and face barley moving, it seemed to stupid to not know how to even say it.

“What uh, what he said did bother me. I mean he doesn’t know anything about us but it just took me off guard that he just started making shit up about you. So yeah, I was upset but I think it was more of...he started to just remind me of someone I travelled with for a while.” It was vague and there was no hope Joel would just leave it there.

Your palm moved against your forehead, the pressure failing to push away the anxiety inside of it. “Fuck. I didn’t-” Your heart pounded so hard you felt like it would burst from your chest in a gruesome horror, lungs lightening and the longer you waited even eyes shut the room felt like it was spinning.

Eyes glossy when you looked back up, and you hated the image in front of you. Joel’s arms braced on the bed ready to jump up, his own eyes so bright and big that flashed in a heart twisting softness that broke your heart as much. Leaving in the dark was worse, apparently.

So you spit it out, but not exactly in the way you meant it to sound. “I never did anything before. The night we slept together.” The room stopped spinning but now felt like the walls threatened to close in on you. Realization washing over his eyes, lips parted as he looked, well you weren’t sure. Upset?

“Or, I guess- fuck I don’t know. I mean it may have well been, all the stuff before wasn't anything like what happened with you, so, I mean it felt new.” Your arms crossed once more, but there was a stinging in your eyes that you hated.

Joel’s brow furrowed while he harshly fisted the sheets blow enough you could see the strain on his knuckles. His head turned away and that softness disappeared. It appeared to be taking a lot of will power to keep himself rooted in place. Through a clenched jaw he finally glanced back over. “What do you mean before? What happened?”

His tone wasn’t angry, it was distant and restrained but not something worse towards you. It left you feeling a little weird how much that alone relieved you. You looked up, trying to prevent any tears from slipping down but it felt futile.

The room either was too small or you became too big, and you found yourself crouching near the ground, hands on top of your head that hid your face from him. Back heaving from the deep breaths, your head snapped back up to Joel who now was nearer then ever to coming over to you. But he remained as you remained.

Pushing past the pounding of your heart, “Maria basically told me the reason Alex was acting the way he did, was because he was jealous. He likes me and I didn’t realize it and I guess it pissed him off, but I had no idea. The only person I’ve ever felt anything for like this, is you.” Your arms had crossed over your knees as you sat your chin into it. “I never knew how crushes and whatnot were supposed to work because I only know what it’s like with you. You were new for me. New for all of it.”

If only you could hear the pounding of Joel’s heart. His voice but a whisper, “You had never done anything before that night?” The bordering emotional apprehension in your eyes said more than Joel knew you could say at that second. Your name rolling off his tongue in a disbelief, “Everything you let me do, and you didn’t think I should know?”

You watched him get up, slowly make his way towards you as the shaking came back. Like your neck was dunked in freezing water but without the searing cold. “I thought you were satisfied enough that maybe you wouldn’t care.”

Joel was taken back, freezing in place as he once again treaded on an anger that he didn’t want you to think was at you. “What? No Jesus, this isn’t about me.” Nowhere to hide, Joel knelt down in front of you. Blazing brown eyes searching deep into your pain.

Without meaning to, your own voice raised but the choked emotions in your throat made it sound cracked. “Obviously it is because you’re angry at me.”

His voice wasn’t loud, but it certainly had more complicated feelings muffling it’s intent. “I’m angry because it was your first time, and you let me be that rough with you.”

Finally, you did yell. The words, the vitriol, the tears still burning your eyes, it all slapped him right in the face. “I didn’t think it mattered, Joel. I liked it, you thought it was okay, I didn’t think you would have cared. Because the guy before you sure as fuck didn’t.”

It was a miracle to Joel that he didn’t black out on the spot. Just watching you with heartbreak as you flew up from your place and paced around the room a hand once again pressed to your forehead. Voice this time, much more defeated. “I never told you because I didn’t even know where to start, and then it eventually didn’t feel like it mattered. What we had worked, and I figured it shouldn’t matter but apparently it does to me.”

You didn’t know when Joel approached, but you suddenly felt his figure tall over you and his warmth radiate your body. His hand hovered around but didn’t yet touch. “The only other time another person whose ever been around me the way you do was back then. But I didn’t know what the fuck was really going on, and I don’t even remember all of it but it happened and the way Alex was acting reminded me of it, and kept trying to say shit about you. Even though you’re the only one whose never made me feel fucking terrified about this shit, and I don’t know. I couldn’t tell anymore if lying to you or telling the truth would be worse.”

A sob almost flew from your mouth as Joel pulled your back into his chest. His nose nudging at the side of your head while he smoothed his hand over your front and hip. Waiting for you to let go some of that intensity in your stance. “I want you to listen to me. Okay?” His hand pulled your hip into his more at your nod. “You were more then okay that night. It was perfect because it was with you. I enjoyed myself because you enjoyed yourself. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to judge you for what some fucking-”

You could feel the hiss in his voice as he pulled himself back. His grip bruising on your body, but not in a way that flashed worse memories into your present. “No one deserves that, including you. So stop worrying I’m going to get angry for something you were forced into.”

Turning you in his arms to face him, his face was sharp but also embedded with desire far beyond the physical. Your hands lightly sat on his waist as one of his own cupped the side of your face. The hold this man had on you was ludicrous. The calm he graced you with never stopped being a shock. “There’s something else I want to admit.”

“Okay,” Joel’s voice was rough, his heart bracing for whatever else he couldn’t possibly predict.

Both of your thumbs slipped under his shirt and traced the bare skin you found, a shiver stemming from your fingertips up into your heart and spread warmth into Joel’s own. “I sort of braced myself for an argument, so I have no idea where the conversation is supposed to go from here.”

Huffing out a breath of laughter, Joel tilted your face up to his. Leaning down he sat above your lips and bumped his nose gently into yours. “You don’t have to say anything.” He tested his lips, a small press against yours, leaving you lightheaded and without noticing, chasing his barley pulled back kiss. “I’ve got you. No matter what.”

Your face in his neck, and Joel’s your hair, the safety of each others arms served as your breathe of life for quite a while. Words were neither of your forte’s, but this? This was.

By the time something substantial came to Joel’s mind, his hands had been running under your shirt over your hips and back. Pressing his lips to your ear he did however hissed your name, “Who was he-”

Smirking in his neck, a wave of need danced in between your legs at this deep roughness of such a tone. “I didn’t tell you just to make you do something about it, Joel.”

His knuckles stroked down your cheek, both that softness and a need that only felt safe with him grew that feeling inside you. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it anyways.” Both of your grins and breathy laughs finally broke the painful, thick air consuming you. Nudging your nose once, twice, Joel kissed you properly.

His lips needy, but not too harsh and pouring as much of his soul into it as he was gifted. One of your hands exploring his bare chest. Palm flat and finding the softest parts and sighing into his mouth at how he felt. The other slid up behind his neck before scratching into his scalp, fingers entwined with the luscious, thick hair.

The pleasure sparked in his veins caused Joel to pull back, both of his hands moving to keep you at a distance by your upper arms. “We don’t need to do this right now, not after everything.”

You contemplated it, you really did. Something distant but sensible telling you to stand back and take the physical slow with healing emotions. However, you and Joel had already gone past that point. A confession that burned through your facade long past it’s prime. He already knew the worst parts of you now, and didn’t turn away at the ones past.

Hands now fidgeting in your lap, it was difficult once more to find words that made the right amount of sense. Your body wanted to say yes, but the protective way Joel looked at you confused your clarity. A few open and closes of your mouth before giving up in a chuckle, “I’m trying to say it’s fine, but I have no idea how to make it sound reassuring.”

Smoothing down your arms leaving goosebumps in his wake, you watched his jaw twitch in his own contemplation. Skipping your hands, you jumped slightly as he now trailed your hips and down to the tops of your thighs. Debating if his own desire would win out resolve. Fingers playing with the top of your pants waistline and a boyish glint in his eye and a smirk he failed to hold back. “Lay back for me.”

A wave of nerves rushed through you but leaving nothing but anticipation in place. Trying to lean down and take your shoes off first, Joel elected to just shove you up onto the bed with a huff. Kneeling back away from you to pull them off himself.

Large frame partially crawling up onto the bed so his face was level with your waist. Pushing up onto your elbows, you watched as he only slightly pushed the edge of your shirt up. Just enough to find a place for his mouth. Light presses of his lips, barley even a kiss but covered all he could see.

Brown eyes peeked up at you, eyebrows raised at your stare. Lips parted with muted stammering breaths and eyes wide dripping with far too much for you to associate one word with. His fingers tugged at your pants breathing more heavily himself. “Give me a hand here, sweetheart.”

Confusion rolled across your features until he gave another slight tug. Nodding as your eyes fluttered, heart racing, “Fuck- right, sorry.” Your arms moving to grasp the top of your head as it fell back into the pillow. Hips raising enough so Joel could strip your bottom half bare.

Tossing them behind you, Joel narrowed his eyes while a smirk played at his face. Crawling back up to hover over your face this time. “How many times are we going to have this lesson exactly?” The seriousness in his voice for whatever reason, slipped a giggle from your mouth. Joel trying to keep his face toned down, but his eyes didn’t match the sternness he wanted them to. “Alright, just remember this is all your doing.”

Moving down back to put his face level with your now bare half, you unthinkingly tried to placate the fake disappointment. “Wait,” Your tone sung out light and breathy. “I’m sorry-”

One of his hands slammed down flat onto the sheets beside you as he looked up with a look of incredulity that bordered on laughter. Breaking the mask immediately his voice dropping to such a flat tone as he just said your name.

Leaning up once more you did it all over again, “I know, I know I’m s-” Flying your hands to your face and collapsing back to the pillows as you tried to hide the now much louder laughter. The sound blending with the deep ones that vibrated against the bed from Joel.

Moving to splay your hands up around your head, you shook your head mostly at yourself as Joel did but also towards you. He himself moved to straddle your thighs, pulling his shirt off as he did so. “Jesus, you’re a mess.” Behind the faint light, the stature he loomed over you with you could see the dimple in his left cheek as he still smiled at you.

It was the lightest your heart felt in days, looking up at Joel this way. Smile and laughter on his face as he undressed himself with no bravado or show. Just wanting to feel your skin on his. “Getting tired of me already, Miller?”

Getting as far as his belt unbuckled and zipper pulled down, Joel situated himself properly. Taking your thighs into his hands and moving them. One wide, foot almost off the bed and the other draped gently over his shoulder. Mouth pressing more small kisses to your mound before resting his forehead in that very spot, his brown curls splayed over your skin.

Your limbs tensed as you felt heavy breathing between your legs, thinking he was trying to even out his breath. Muffled your chest pushed forward in need as he mumbled against you so close his nose was right near your clit. “Asking the impossible, sweet girl.”

Taking your response right out of your mouth by gracing you with his. Starting with good intentions, Joel’s gentle brushes of his tongue against your clit fell through at your high pitched gasp. Handfuls of your thighs now being left marks with his grip, Joel quickly moved downwards. Soaking you more with his saliva then you gave him to start with.

Tongue licking right back up to your clit and down again, each iteration of his path proving more aggressive then the other. More needy. One of his hands reached up to grip your waist and the other attached to your hip. His strength enough to pull you up to his mouth higher above the sheets as his tongue and lips send waves of pleasure through your core and up into your heart.

Back arching as his tongue slipped over the sensitive spot inside of you like he so greedily loved to exploit. The more intense he could make your orgasm, the more excuses he had to stay between your thighs. Licking and tasting you for hours.

Joel could lose himself, his cock in your mouth, but the taste of you on his, did far more. Hand on your thigh moved roughly across your skin to cup what of your pussy his mouth wasn’t touching. Rubbing his thumb harshly over your clit and groaning at how much more wet it made you. His dark eyes spying on how your hands scrunched in your hair as you tried to grind you hips to not lose his touch.

His name mumbling off your lips, Joel licked from your clit to as deep into your pussy he could get before pulling away. His facial hair a slight more wet then you saw him before. Sitting up as well as he could from his front splayed out on the bed, his call of your name was much more commanding then your mindless beg.

Two thick fingers slid into your pussy as Joel’s eyes shut and jaw clenched at how smoothly he could sink into you, yet how tight you felt around them already. Head dropped even though yours raised to his. He watched how slick you made his fingers, breathing harshly through his nose Joel was unable to stop himself from sliding in a third finger.

The gasping, “God- oh please.” It almost hurt to try so hard to focus on Joel. Your insides burned and twisted so much it threatened to reach your eyes. His nostrils flared as he looked over you pumping fingers with as much vigor as his mouth had.

Joel hovered his palm over your body, up to the ceiling as he stroked his thumb over you. “Come here.”

It genuinely took you a moment to realize he wanted your hand, but when you returned the gesture Joel kept it soft. Pulling it up to his mouth. The scratching of his slightly wet facial hair against the warm kiss he pressed to the back of your hand. The movement forcing you to sit up enough that his fingers slid deep without him having to thrust them back himself.

Joel rested it over his shoulder, and cupped the side of your neck, mumbling your name. “Do you feel good, sweetheart?”

It wasn’t mocking, teasing, no patronizing joy. He looked so serious for how out of breathe and falling apart he was making you underneath him. You nodded, but he narrowed his eyes. Bumping the bottom of your chin up with a knuckle, you leaned up more to his mouth. “Yes, yes. You- fuck. You always make me feel so good,”

Something that looked more animalistic snarled against his face, leaning his lips to brush over yours as he spoke. “This is how you deserve to feel, understand? No less.” Unable to stop his lack of self control, Joel roughly kissed you. His tongue making you taste yourself as he licked into your mouth before pulling back. Your mouths both wet and his kiss sloppy. “I’ve got you, and I always will.”

Nodding, your core tensed up as his three fingers mixed with the harsh pressure on your clit started to hiccup your breathe. “I- I...” The closer he brought you to orgasm the harder it was to speak, but Joel understood you. He always does.

Nodding he tucked your face into his neck for a moment. “I know, sweetheart. Me too. Now you’re going to cum for me.” Letting you fall back onto the sheets, Joel moved so quickly that he yanked your hips up to his mouth after shuffling back. “Let me have a taste, okay?”

His mouth licking into your pussy deep and soaked even more, you nodded as tears slowly made their way down the corner of your eyes. “Anything you want, anything,”

You think he might have mumbled something as he tasted you but it wasn’t loud enough over the wet sounds his mouth made on you. His hands bruising tight as he held you, your body arching and tensing as the white hot coiling pleasure found its breaking point.

Joel kept your hips pinned to the bed as he took everything you had. Your orgasm snapped, name cried from his mouth as you slammed both hands over it to stay quiet but the muffle still danced in Joel’s ears. “Good girl, perfect fucking cunt.”

The noise in your body and head didn’t die down however. It trailed off into more and more winding pleasure as you gasped Joels name. The shake of his head between your legs making you moan even more. Joel’s fingers wasted no time in replacing his mouth as he leaned up.

Kiss once again just as sloppy and soaked as your pussy was. He painted the inside of your mouth with your taste on his tongue. Barley able to make himself pull back, he cupped the back of your head to keep you looking into his eyes.

“I told you, I got you. Just lay back for me, that’s all I want you to do.” He left you with one last kiss to your lips before settling down between you once more.

Hardly realizing that barley a few minutes into getting his mouth on you again had Joel’s hips grinding into the sheets until soaking his jeans. You watched as he sat up aggressively, almost frustrated at the interruption, tearing them off and leaving him completely naked. Cock wet with his own precum and still half hard before moving back.

Joel didn’t take you that way, as far as you knew. His tongue inside you and muffled words coaxing you to relax into sleep. Deep in your dreams a pleasure your unconscious mind didn't quite grapple continued to stay with you.

You weren’t sure if Joel fucked you, or just the bed so much that it kept your thighs and the sheets sticky even as you both woke up in the others arms in the early hours of the morning. Though Joel was quite serious about not having sex with you while asleep when you asked, though something about the shy flash in your eye and interestingly nervous fidget had his cock stir way too early.

Kissing his way up your neck to your ear, “Just can’t stop being so filthy can you?” There was neither a firm yes or no that morning, but it didn’t stop both of you from thinking about it the rest of the day.

You and Joel looked nothing like the calm harmony that his brother had, but it worked. He let you in a long time prior, and you kept discovering that he would accept your pasts without fuss.

To your amusement however, on his snarkier days, Joel did indeed make you playfully feel stupid for thinking he’d ever see you otherwise.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller/reader #joel miller/you #joel miller/female reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us imagine #the last of us fanfiction

325 notes · View notes

rocksandboulders · 6 months

Text

i wrote this about how im doing right now and about the path ive taken to get where i am. it's a healing bit of writing, but it hurts. it's mostly about childhood and growth. enjoy.

tw: mental health issues, suicide mention, parents

I think at this point in my life, upon coming to terms with my childhood, my past, I have moved forwards into a mourning of sorts.

It started with an anxiety, a fear of what I had to overcome to heal. I looked away from everything to escape, I moved, I isolated, I cut down and restarted from the beginning to build myself a person in which it was safe to live, and a mind in which I would not continue to kill myself.

When I relearned my lungs, I screamed. I cried out in anger for what I now had to face. I lashed out at my mother. I shunned her from me. I rejected her. I built an impassable fortress around myself and my space and my mind, only letting one in to correspond on business terms. It was dark. There was no warmth.

When my mind finally calmed down, when I shivered in the cold of my aloneness and my eyes ached for the light again, I turned on my lamp and I wrote poetry. I longed to see my mother, my siblings, my family. I found pieces of them in every person I knew, I remembered them in songs I heard, and I began to look at the open places where I had so unceremoniously torn them from inside myself.

And then, I cried.

And as I look, now, upon myself, and upon this old house, upon my past and present, upon those around me, and those who are not, I find myself comforting each of those parts of myself.

I take my boy in corduroy and fit him with the weighted blanket of the one who gave him his first taste of a new, true home.

I regret the tears I caused in that lobby, and thank the universe that my phone battery died when it did. But I’ll never disagree with what I said.

I look at my mother, my siblings, my family, and the spaces that they are finding ways to fill once again, and I take a moment to ponder the hole left still empty. It has the scratches on the walls of one buried alive. There are many versions of me, from many times in my life, that still inhabit this body. Once they finally heal back together, that’s where they’ll all go. Once we are, once I am one person once again.

And, I still cry.

I’m sad to leave, now, when I do. This is my home, this is where I grew and changed. This is where everything that has ever happened has happened. This is where I was before everything. And this is where I come back to, still. I keep all those feelings I’ve had, they all still live inside.

I still run, retreat, hide, and reject those I know.

I still curl into my own body, the walls of my skin and muscle and bone protecting the gentle and heated soul that raptures and destroys.

I still search.

I still write.

And I still yearn. I wish for the years that have passed to be different. I wish I had memories to find joy in from my youth. I wish to read the books they wrote to me and remember how their promises carried through.

I had wanted kids for a long time. I couldn’t stop laughing.

It was the best day in my 25 years of life.

You cried- Mama & Papa felt very bad. But you were brave, very brave.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

I wish for a childhood that I can remember, not just in fondness, but one I can remember at all. I want, so badly, to be able to hug my mother and know that it isn’t new. I want to feel as though being held by her is something I remember from anywhere, anytime. I want to believe she has always wanted me close.

I want for the unwavering love that a child deserved.

And I want to cry. When that finally sinks in.

#writing #poem #poetry #writer #angst #healing poetry #free verse #tw suicide mention #tw mental health #tw mental illness #tw parents

1 note · View note

metalbuckaroo · 3 years

Text

Birthday to Remember

SUMMARY// After being pulled along to a strip club by your friends on your birthday, you end up leaving with some company.

WARNINGS// smut, oral (f receiving), kinda corruption kink, pussyjob, cursing, mentions of tobacco and alcohol use

AU// Stripper!Bucky x Innocent!Readee

AN// Requests and asks are always open, 18+ ONLY Minors DNI

Masterlist

Moodboard by// @commonintrest Dividers by// @skylightlantern

The last thing you wanted on your birthday was for your friends to drag you to a strip club. You felt awkward and out of place walking amongst the room full of half naked men and drinking customers.

"This just feels weird." You sighed, following your three friends towards the bar that was in the corner. "We'll get one of those private rooms they have here for parties and a beefy man. It will be a birthday to remember, c'mon." One of them grinned.

You pitched in on the drinks and a private room, one of the men walking in right after you. Dark, chin length hair and a sweet smile that nearly distracted from the tight leather shorts that left little to the imagination.

You spent most of the time staring down into your glass, having to silently remind yourself you were suppose be having fun as your friends cheered and giggled as they stuffed bills into the waistband of the man's shorts; whose named you learned was Bucky.

You weren't really paying attention to what he was doing. More to the way the silvery metal of his arm gleamed under the dimmed lights and where metal met flesh at the base of his shoulder.

Wondering how he got it or if he could feel when someone touched it, rather than thinking of the smooth way his body moved.

One of your friends said something to him that you couldn't quite make out. Bucky nodding and looking over at you with a half smile.

"Want the birthday special?" He asked, moving to stand in front of you. Your face warmed at his words and you swallowed thickly, shaking your head. "No, it's fine."

"Oh, come on. Don't be a prude." One of the three girls groaned, poking one of your crossed legs.

Wetting your lips, you glanced up at Bucky who looked at you with welcoming eyes. "Yeah, okay." You nodded.

Your stomach flipped when he took the drink from your hands, handing it to your friend before the cool metal of his left hand nudged at your knee for you to uncross your legs.

Bucky placed his hands on the back of the couch, your shoulders trapped between metal and flesh as he leaned down to talk in your ear. "If you're uncomfortable with anything, just pinch me."

You gave another nod and he smiled, flashing his pearly whites as he leaned his knees against the edge of the plush cushion on either side of yours.

Your heart beat wildly in your chest when he tugged at the laces of the shorts to loosen them before taking your hands in his.

Bucky was eating up every reaction you gave. The way you chewed your bottom lip as he guided your hands along the taut muscles of his chest and abdomen, your fingers feeling every dip in the smooth skin and grazing over the barbells that pierced through his nipples.

He especially liked the way you weren't trying to rush his hands to go under his shorts; letting him be in full control.

Your eyes went wide when he stopped your hands at the waistband of the leather, the sound of your heart beating and blood rushing in your ears almost drowning out the sound of your friends giggling and squealing.

And the sound of the door opening.

"Buck, you've got a set." Another man said from the doorway. "I'm in the middle of a session." Bucky huffed, looking over his shoulder but not moving your hands. "Cap is gonna fill in."

Letting out a heavy sigh, Bucky finally let go of your hands, but his close proximity wasn't letting your body relax just yet as he leaned to peck a kiss to your cheek. "Happy birthday." He chuckled before standing.

A broad blonde took his place, this one letting you sit in peace and stare into you half empty glass.

"I'm gonna head home." You exhaled, glancing at the happy looks on your friend's faces. "Fine, buzz kill." One of them muttered.

Pushing through the crowded club, you pushed the heavy metal door open. Bucky was leaned against the concrete wall of the building not far from the door, now in a pair of sweats and a hoodie as he smoked a cigarette.

"The birthday girl." He grinned, blue eyes meeting yours as you stepped closer. "Want one?" He asked, holding the cigarette out towards you. "Uh, no. Thanks."

"Listen-" he cleared his throat, pushing away from the wall to stand in front of you. "I can find someone to cover for me if you need some company on your walk home." He offered before bringing the cigarette to his lips.

"I'll be fine, I'm not too far." You shrugged, looking to the sidewalk. "You can't walk alone, it's one in the morning." Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. "That's different than walking with a stranger?"

His tongue jutted out across his bottom lip, eyebrows twitching upwards. "Well- I was about five seconds away from putting your hand in my shorts around thirty minutes ago. I think I'm a little better than a stranger." He teased, leaning forward slightly. "Besides, your friends kinda seem like assholes."

He wasn't wrong. They were sometimes pushy, telling you to loosen up a little and dragging you along with them to places where you felt out of place.

"Ok, fine." You exhaled. Bucky cracked a smile and dropped his cigarette, stomping it out under his shoe. "Let me get my stuff, just wait here for a second." He said, brushing his fingers to your forearm.

"Thanks, for walking with me." You said as you unlocked your front door. "This isn't the worst side of town but it's not the best either." Bucky said with a small laugh.

"I forgot to tip you, by the w-" his warm hand stopped yours from digging in your wallet, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. Just- invite me in for a drink." He shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes at him, cocking your head to the side. "You're not a creep, are you?"

Bucky laughed, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. "No, just don't want a pretty girl to spend her birthday alone. Plus, I had someone take over my shift."

"Well, my apartment is dry. So, you're out of luck on that drink." You smiled, opening the door to walk into the small studio apartment. "That's fair."

Bucky was good company as the two of you sat on the couch in your living room, telling you funny stories about his time working at the club and listening intently to anything you said. The lighting in your apartment made his eyes even more blue than you'd noticed earlier and his features look sharper, framed by his dark locks.

Over the last couple of hours he had slowly moved his way closer to you. Close enough that you could smell his woodsy cologne mixed in with the scent of cigarettes, his metal arm resting on the back of the couch as his right hand would occasionally brush against you when he'd talk.

"You're cute, like a bunny." He said with a small laugh, making your face heat up. "Thanks, I guess?" You mumbled, chewing your tongue as he lifted his hand to your cheek.

He hummed in response, leaning closer until his lips brushed yours and your breathing hitched.

You pressed a hand against his chest and leaned away slightly. "I've never..." You trailed off, hoping he'd get the point. "I figured that much. Can go as far as you want, or we don't have to at all."

"How many girls have you said that to?" You silently cursed yourself for saying it as soon as you did, biting down on the inside of your cheek. He just chuckled and brushed his thumb over the tip of your nose. "I'm more of a long term guy. Pretty sure I can count who I've slept with on one hand."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." You said quietly, pulling at a string on the seam of your jeans. "I know." Bucky said before slotting his lips over yours, the kiss gentle and sweet.

The taste of cigarettes and mint gum flooded your tastebuds when his tongue slipped past your lips to press into yours, the softness of his plump lips contrasting the scratch of his stubble.

Bucky just felt so welcoming, his touches cautious to wait for you to stop him as his hand moved from your cheek. Fingers ghosting down the side of your neck to leave goosebumps in their wake, along the buttons of your blouse and finally stopping to wedge between your thighs.

He pulled away, leaving your breathless as you blinked your eyes open to meet his lust filled blue ones. "Remember to pinch me if anything makes you uncomfortable." He teased, pecking a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

Things were moving fast, clothes quickly discarded on the path from the couch to your bed. Bucky's hands and lips only parting from you long enough to rid another clothing item that shielded his skin from yours until all that stood in his way was your underwear and his leather shorts.

You weren't sure if it was the head rush from only knowing Bucky for a few hours after holding out for so long, or the way his darkened eyes looked you over as he bent his body over yours.

"You're so beautiful." He breathed, leaving a brisk kiss to your lips before trailing wet kisses down your neck and chest.

Your hands gripped onto the sheets harder the further down your abdomen he got, trying to keep your breathing even as fingers hooked in the waistband of your underwear.

Bucky looked up at you one last time before dragging the fabric down your legs, tossing them to the side and taking his spot back between your legs.

You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch as he peppered kisses to the inside of your thighs, cold metal and warm flesh gently massaging the outsides of them as his stubble scraped at your skin.

A squeak erupted from your throat when he sunk his teeth into the supple flesh, making you move your leg away from his face to pull the skin from between his teeth.

Bucky chuckled and placed a soothing kiss on the mark. One to remind you that none of this had been a dream.

An excited chill ran down your spine when his hot breath fanned your dripping folds. Bucky giving one last glance before flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud, a soft chuckle bubbling in his chest when your body jolted and you drew in a sharp breath.

"So responsive, I could get use to that." He winked, licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit.

Bucky basked in every breathy sound and reaction he elicited from you, moaning at the taste he wanted to burn into his memory. In hopes he had another chance at this, the slice of heaven he held in his hands.

The chance to have his own angel to bend and mold into his filthiest dream.

He moved his hand to ease his middle finger into your heat, groaning at the immediate flutter of your walls as your hands fisted the sheet and chest heaved with a soft moan.

"Oh, c'mon. You can be louder than that, bunny." Bucky purred, curling the long, thick finger to find the sweet spot to set off the reaction he wanted. A louder moan pulling from your chest when he found the rough patch just inside your cunt making him smirk. "There it is."

He locked his lips around your clit again, fingers curling into the spot that pulled the vulgar sounds from your sweet lips as he sucked and flicked his tongue over the bundle of nerves. An unfamiliar feeling quickly building in your lower belly.

"Bucky-" You keened as white hot pleasure surged through you, your trembling thighs closing on his head as his metal hand moved from your hip to grope at your chest.

His fingers pinched and grazed the pebbled bud before massaging the flesh under his palm as your back arched, your breath catching in your throat and ears ringing.

Bucky lifted his head from between your legs, finger continuing to stroke your walls to work you through your orgasm as he pulled the laces of his shorts loose.

Your skin felt like it was on fire, every nerve alive as you opened your eyes again to Bucky standing at the end of the bed and shoving the shorts down his thick thighs. Erection springing free to give a glance of the two barbells on the underside of his cock. One under the ridge of his swollen head, the other at the base.

Your heart pounded in your ears when he moved back between your legs, stomach flipping from the nerves as his leaking tip ran through your folds and prodded your entrance. "Wait-"

Your hand pressed to the firm muscles of Bucky's stomach made his movements still and eyes flick up to meet your nervous expression. "We can stop if you want. Or we can try something else." He suggested, leaning on his palms to catch your lips in his briefly.

You nodded and let out a shaky breath. "Yeah, something else." You breathed.

A whimper passed your lips when he rocked his hips forward, the barbell sliding over your clit sending shocks of pleasure through you.

Bucky's bottom lip disappeared behind his teeth as let out quiet groans from the feeling of your slick coating his shaft.

"Talk to me, bunny. This okay?" He panted, gaze raking over your naked form that still had the sheet clutched tightly as melodic sounds spilled from your lips.

"Feels good," You panted, words slightly slurred from the dizzy feeling in your head caused by the pressure quickly building again. "So good." He moaned, holding his base to have better guidance through your folds.

You bit your lip into your mouth as tears prickled your eyes from the second wave of warmth that spread, choking out a moan as his pace quickened.

"Fucking shit-" Bucky huffed, his grip on your thigh tightening and release spilling onto your lower abdomen.

You inhaled a few deep breaths, trying to steady your heart beat as he pecked a kiss to your knee before standing from the bed to grab a piece of clothing for clean up.

You pulled the blanket from under you to hold to your chest, waiting for him to get dressed and make an excuse to leave like you'd heard your friends talk about after a hook up.

Instead, he wandered towards the kitchen, finding an empty can as he lit a cigarette, your eyes staying fixed on the way the muscles in his back rippled with his movements.

"C'mere." Bucky said with a soft groan as he got under the blankets with you, sitting the can on the nightstand. "You're staying?" You asked, furrowing your eyebrows at him.

"If you want me to, yeah." He shrugged, holding his arm out for you to lay on as he placed the cigarette between his teeth and grabbed a pillow to cushion the metal.

You gave a soft yeah and cuddled into his side, the soft whirring of his arm under the pillow helping you slowly drift to sleep.

You felt yourself waking up as the bed dipped under the weight of Bucky moving, deciding not to fully wake up and let him leave in silence.

"Hey," Bucky whispered, moving his body over yours to press a gentle kiss to your shoulder. "Hmm?" You hummed in response, peaking an eye open to look at the slate blue eyes that held adoration in them.

His knuckles brushed down your arm, a sweet kiss placed on your lips as he gave you a soft smile. "I gotta go, but I left my personal number under your alarm clock. Give me a call sometime."

You nodded and smiled lightly at him, another kiss pecked to your lips before he left the bed to gather his things, walking towards the door.

"I'm gonna hold ya to that, bunny."

TAGLIST: @likeahorribledream @cxddlyash @iwannabekilledtwice @bookstan0618 @glxwingrxse @yliumy @pineprincess @makbarnes @cupcakehinch @doasyoudesireandlive @magicwithinnightmares @andy-is-gay @stucky-my-ship @marvel-3407 @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @i-l-y-3000 @avoxzy @impala1967666 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @supernaturalbaesduh @bucky-hues @suchababie @eireduchess

#bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes smut #stripper!bucky smut #stripper!bucky #bucky #james buchanan barnes #bucky barns x you

1K notes · View notes

ohheyitsokay · 3 years

Text

Home

this all takes place in my poly frontier universe

pairing: triple frontier guys - Will “Ironhead” Miller, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Francisco (Frankie) “Catfish” Morales, and Ben “Benny” Miller x (f) reader

wordcount: 3k

warnings: obviously a poly relationship, which includes kissing, domestic intimacy with all of them (not just with the reader, but not in-between Will and Ben because nope), mild sexual themes

summary: scenes at the beginning of making a house with five people feel like home

The manicured grass is soft where it peaked around the edges of your sandals. Hands running over the grooves of they key in your pocket, you gaze around the little front yard, mind conjuring daydreams that fit on the weathered porch of the house.

Two bathrooms will be enough right? Your thoughts are running - creating and erasing images of the future, trying to squish them like magic into the home in front of you. The yard is big enough to extend the garage and for plenty of home projects…

Across the fence and a long stretch of field, a woman is hiking her skirts up, making a beeline for you. The neighbor’s house is a considerable distance away, being out in the countryside, but she must have been watching your tour from her garden with interest.

The others had left moments before, Santi promising to come back whenever you were done. After weeks of looking at houses, it became a little ritual of yours, to spend a few minutes looking around without the clutter of wonderful distractions.

“So which one of those strapping young men is your beau?” She asks conspiringly, eyes gleaming. It catches you off guard – the lack of introduction, but she seems harmless enough.

Your smile is equally mischievous, and your head tilts a hair.

“Well, which one do you think?”

The woman considers, boot tip tapping away at her grass. You replay the moments she could’ve seen, which were few, wondering if you’d leaned in any particular direction, and wait.

“Now that I think about it, I haven’t got a clue,” her smile is wide, softer and more genuine than before - polite. “As long as you’re good neighbors,” she explains, “I guess I wouldn’t care if it was one or all of you next door.”

You smile, thanking her as salutations ring in your ears, watching with grateful eyes as she hikes back towards her home. Then you move, wandering through the empty rooms for long, quite minutes before you peak over the fence again. The woman had gone inside, and if you squint you can see who you think is her husband, sleeping with a dog on the porch.

In the other directions, there isn’t a house within a reasonable distance. A knot loosens in your chest, as an unexpected feeling of freedom from judging eyes blooms in its place.

When Santi comes back to pick you up, you take his hand across the console. His skin is warm, and his thumb automatically begins to gently move across your knuckles.

“I think it’s perfect, Pope.”

He looks at you curiously, minding his thoughts for a moment.

“Yeah, love?”

The sun was beginning to set, and you look at the peaceful little home in the rear view mirror, and smile.

“Yeah.”

“What?”

“We need to … break in every room.”

“I’m just saying -"

“Oh he’s talking about – wait are you really horny, right now?”

“There are boxes everywhere, idiot.”

You walk in carrying a single plant and a stack of pizzas and the conversation hushes.

“Ah – payment,” Frankie kisses your cheek, moving the plant by the window as Santi clears the table.

Someone makes a quip about it being Santi’s house and you wince, the utopia popping.

“We don’t get paid to move our own stuff, Catfish.” His dark hair is damp with sweat but he seems otherwise unaffected by the hours spent hauling. It was still surreal – that this is actually happening, that this unanimously became a long term desire.

He has the most money and Will has the best credit score, so they bought the house to save you all from questions. The movement isn’t lost on your Ironhead, and he rubs a soothing circle on your shoulder as he reaches for a plate. Of everyone, he was the one who most understood your anxiety – close proximity always led to arguments at first.

“You got lucky,” Benny takes the first slice, accepting a napkin for an additional piece. “You fell in love with a pretty good moving crew.”

“I think so,” you grin, trying to ignore your anxiety. He inhales the food, pulling you into his lap as he bickers with Will about whether or not more needed to get done today.

Eventually Frankie dictates that at the very least some cleaning should be started and the bedding should be unpacked for the evening. The agree with varying degrees of enthusiasm and after a handful of innuendos your loves begin to disperse, too dutiful to let work go unfinished. The bedframe practically builds itself, and a portable speaker makes Santi’s hips twitch as he floats through the half-barren rooms.

When Will rolls his eyes at Frankie’s choice of screw, you duck away, nerves thrumming.

And you wander around, fake cleaning, until you find your Benny clearing pizza plates. Even amongst boxes and bins and old blankets, he could be at a photo shoot. The evening light make his hair look like silk, and his eyes shine like he’s making you promises this very moment.

“I wouldn’t worry too much,” he says, drawing you into his arms as your head tilts. “We spent years in bunks and tents, and we were younger then.”

His chest was warm and you press your cheek to it, nodding. You hadn’t thought he had noticed, how anxious you’d been about the change, but you had been foolish. Even through his shirt, you can feel the thumping of his giant heart, steady as a drumbeat.

Replaying the evening in your mind, you let go of some of your worries, one by one, and he kisses the top of your head. It’s a thoughtful thing, and it never ceases to amaze you how easily he can wrap you around his finger.

“Ben?”

He makes a noise, somewhere between a hum and a grunt.

You pull his face down to yours, kissing him hard. It was a kiss that says you're grateful, and a kiss that says you love him for being… him.

He accepts it eagerly, and tiredness from the day long gone ad he presses hot, open-mouthed kisses to your lips. The world spins and you feel him shove something heavy off the couch before replacing it with you.

The cushions are dusty from everything but he makes space, and you stop caring as he moves on top of you.

The others would find you soon, their instincts kicking in, but you savor it. Benny, pressing into you, kissing you in the evening light.

The beginning of their conversation from earlier blooms in your mind and you grin as his lips trailed down your neck. It suddenly didn’t seem implausible that he planned this.

“Breaking in” aside, this was the first room you where you truly felt like this could be home.

You feel his hands gently replace yours on the zipper and you jump a little - he stands just outside the mirror reflection as you watch the skirts around your ankles. Behind you the big bed is made neatly, there’s a ridiculously large closet, and a tangle of phone chargers.

The bedroom: the place that set apart your home from others. The room that housed five individuals, a web of relationships, a miracle of mixed bodies and minds and hearts.

It looks big, behind you.

Warm, daft fingers tie the extra strings, a neat little bow hanging just between your shoulder blades. The silence is thick, weighted with adoration, but when he breaks it, it’s as if he can’t resist.

“You’re beautiful,” he moves closer, kissing your temple and drinking you in. Turning, your heart aches.

Will is in his dress uniform, crisscrossed with crisp lines and newly shined awards. His hair is lighter after the summer, and he tried to comb it neatly to one side. Compliments catch in your throat as you stare and he smiles, turning you gently so he can kiss you properly. His mouth tastes like mint and you can smell hints of his cologne lingering on his skin.

“Look at you,” you murmur, lips still brushing over his. Letting your hands wander over his face, smoothing his eyebrows, you feel almost in awe of him. Still, he flushes, pleased at your reaction.

“Thank you.”

His chuckle is warm, almost raspy as he tries to enjoy the quietness of your conversation, and he shakes his head. Really, you were sure he was thankful that he was been the only one free for your special evening.

“Thank you,” you correct him. “You didn’t have to do any of this.” The dinner, for your job.

In the mirror, he looked like diamonds and sapphires and gold. Will was like an action figure sometimes, solid and sculpted and stoic, but… he was looking at you like you’d hung the stars in the sky.

It made you blink, his eyes sliding over you, pupils just a little more blown than the lighting required - a gentle reset demanding your attention.

Looking back in the mirror for a moment, the room didn’t seem quite as big, or quite as revealing. It was comforting, how out of place the two of you looked, dressed to the nines because… this was your place. The softness surrounded by details perfectly woven into your life.

Turning, you slip your arms around his neck, gently musing his hair, and his eyebrows draw together, accepting, but confused.

And as you tuck your hand into his elbow and step into your heels, you resist the urge to thank him again.

“I like it better like this,” you admit, and he flushes again, beaming. Looking around, you realize you’re actually looking forward to coming home more than you’re excited to leave. It’s a new feeling, in this space with the four of them and it hits you, hard in your chest. Still, the man beside you is unwavering and you let the feeling consume you, knowing that you’re safe.

“Frankie, what is that?”

He flinches, nervousness cutting the excitement on his face.

“Rhetorical question,” Santi says, grinning at you. “He got it from a friend who was going to toss it out.”

It’s a hot tub, taking up a decent chunk of your back porch.

“If anyone can make it work like a dream, it’s Catfish.” Will’s tone is matter-of-fact, all honesty and pride.

Your sweet Francisco drops his tool and grabs your hand, his dark eyes big. “¿Cariño, por favor? From me, to you?” You can see his laptop up, replacement parts on saved tabs, and you tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He likes to have projects, needs to have somewhere to do things, fix things, create things. Maybe at one point it was because he liked the distraction, it was a … replacement coping mechanism, if you will, but it became his pride, to use his hands to improve your lives.

It doesn’t take long, two weeks at most, between his job and his loves, and his long list of honey-dos, but he does it.

“Please and thank you,” you say, and when he kisses you, slow and deep and happy, you hear cheers and high-five and you almost can’t kiss him because he’s smiling.

And it takes awhile to fill, (Will thanking the stars that the water bill is reasonable,) and even longer to heat, and then it’s ready. The boys yank on swim trunks, thanking Frankie with enthusiasm, and you watch them sink into the steaming tub with as they sigh.

You have a bathing suit, of course you do, but you pull on one of his work shirts, knowing he won’t mind the chemicals from the water making the stains blur. And you pair of shorts you caught him watching your butt in, thinking of acknowledging his hard work in your own way.

The volume of your bodies makes it overflow, hot water sloshing onto the ground, but it’s bliss. It’s big, and they shout over the bubbles, talking excitedly about the future, and your heart feels warm in your favorite way.

The others leave early, taking loud laughter with them, and it leaves you and your Catfish. You let yourself float, moving right on top of him, and his hands grab at your hips, slipping and sliding over your skin as he kisses you once, twice. Slow.

It’s late – the stars stretch, there’s a bit of a breeze, and there’s not a light on for miles.

“You like it?” his voice is raspy, quiet, intense, but almost shy. Like if you said no it would break him in two.

“Of course I do, Frankie.” He looks pleased, hand absentmindedly running under his shirt and over your side. Even with the heat of the water, his hand feels like socks warmed in the dryer some cold winter morning. Comforting, maybe a little electric.

You let out a long, happy sigh, and settle against him, content to stay with him until you’re pruny.

“I think…. This is exactly what this house needed.” He starts a little, surprised, but it’s not an exaggeration.

There was always work to do and things to change, but it was the first time you looked out, and didn’t feel a twinge of fear, that anyone was looking in. It would’ve felt vulnerable, intimate to be so exposed, but… it was perfect, because he created it for you. Confidence and pride bubble around you, and Frankie’s eyebrows dip as he smiles – understanding.

“Yeah.” Its simple, not too hot, not too cold. Just… right.

It feels like… tar and lava, hot and dark and thick, bubbling and sticky and you want to punch something. Or scream, or cry.

Your Pope finds you standing rigid, smudges of flour on your skin and clothes, pans and spatulas strewn.

“Are we out of sugar?” To your credit, you try to keep your voice even, but he knows you better than that.

Santi shakes his head, plucking it from the pantry and looking guilty. Your mind pauses it’s rampage, and you wince, because you should be the one making that apologetic face, not him. Hot tears bubble in your eyes and you hate it, hate that they’re coming for what feels like no reason.

“Baby,” he says, tone pleading, setting the sugar down and reaching for you. The afternoon sun makes his eyes like rich, deep pots of gold, his hair somehow both soft and statuesque.

When he pauses, the tears fall against your will, just two thick drops down your cheeks. His hand encompasses your whole jaw, thumb gentle as it rubs away the saltwater, and he looks a tad helpless.

And there’s understanding in his eyes and through the blur you think maybe it’s pity. He stands, and your heart clenches, knowing he’ll go get Will, or someone because you’re being ridiculous but… he doesn’t.

You’re saying something about how the kitchen is wrong, how it’s been building for days, you’ve been here almost a week and you can’t fucking find anything. Panic and frustration locked horns in your chest and you couldn’t breathe and all you wanted to do was make something nice –

Instead, he’s pulling out things and piling them onto the floor in categories around you. It’s almost comical the stacks he makes but he seems determined and in your confusion the tears slow to a stop.

“Santi –” he hushes you. The cupboard doors hang open, and he guides you, lifting you up and up and into his arms. It’s solid and grounding, and he’s not as tall as the others and you needed him desperately.

And slowly, you begin to put things away where it makes sense, to you, and he helps. Not once does he argue with you, not even a moment when his dark eyebrows knit together in judgement. Dutifully he cleans and places everything just where you tell him, and you can almost feel the steam rising off of you as you begin to cool.

The final pile is a mountain of cloth, aprons and oven mitts and… something you’ve never seen before. Or actually, something you had, just not in your house. A set of hand towels you’d wistfully looked at awhile ago, before talking yourself out of the purchase. You had dozens at this point and didn’t need more but…

The man seating on the floor, folding them into perfect squares, is the answer to the question your mind produces.

You feel like you’ve been hosed down from head to toe, almost cold from the absence of frustration in your blood.

Pushing the pile to the side you climb into his lap, as determined as he was, and he looks surprised. It’s silly: sitting in your lover’s lap on the kitchen floor, but it feels more real than a movie. It’s your kitchen, yours and his, in this moment.

You kiss him, slow and purposeful and –

He knows you like the back of his hand.

You’re sitting on the bathroom counter distracting Santi as he shaves when Benny bursts in to tell you a story.

Will trails behind him, patiently waiting for his brother to take a breathe so he can set the record straight. Absentmindedly he weaves between them to pick up a fallen hand towel, passing it to Pope to wipe the shaving cream from his jaw. They share a moment and Benny’s story stutters out. Looking up from your nails you see Frankie leaning against the doorframe, a toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

There’s hardly room to move – and you couldn’t have it any other way.

His eyebrows are bent as he takes in the four of you, crammed into the spare bathroom, and Ben laughs.

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @horton-hears-a-honk

for the poly frontier:

@grogusmum

#triple frontier poly fic #poly frontier #will miller x reader #santiago garcia x reader #francisco morales x reader #benny miller x reader #maybe i dont know people

136 notes · View notes

bestiesenpai · 3 years

Text

Perfect Student - Geto Suguru

I love slimy Geto :) although i’m not sure how slimy he actually is here lol femme reader, 3k words

TW: manipulation, abuse of power(?), dubcon, biting(not a lot), spanking

You weren’t the best university student, you were willing to admit. A few classes skipped than deemed appropriate, a couple missed assignments you’d rather not think about again, and some test scores that were down right abysmal.

But you shouldn’t be failing your class completely! A string of low grades on your last few assignments was worrying you. You understood the course material just fine, yet your work was apparently not reflecting it. Making an appointment with your professor, you could only hope he’d shed some light onto the situation.

“Mr. Geto?” Knocking on his office door, you found it swung open with ease. It was late afternoon, no need for any lights to be on in his office as the large window to the side got plenty of light from the slowly setting sun.

“Ah, you’re here.” He smiled at you from behind his desk, his hair in that familiar half bun he sports. The sleeves of the button up he’d had on during class are pushed up past his elbows, revealing his taut forearms. “Take a seat.” He makes a sweeping gesture to the swanky brown leather armchair on the other side of the desk.

“Thanks.” You said quietly, stiffly sitting in the chair and avoiding his narrowed eyes looking you over. You weren’t usually so nervous, you talked up a bit in class if you knew the answer, but being here with the warmth of the sun heating half your face and your admittedly very attractive teacher staring at you, it made your heart thump harder.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Geto leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and his head in his hands.

“Well sir, I’ve noticed my grades haven’t been the best recently on some of the work I’ve turned in?” You don’t mean to phrase it like a question and it makes your cheeks burn. “A-and I understand the material for this lesson pretty well, so I- so I, uh…” Losing your train of thought, you glance at Geto’s unreadable expression.

“So you came to get a better grade? Let me pull up your grades on the computer and see.” Turning to the monitor sitting on the desk corner, Geto types away. With his focus not on you, you can finally breathe a little easier. “Oh (Y/N)...” Geto tsks and it makes you worry.

“What?” Wide eyed, you lean forward to try and see what he sees.

“I’m just looking at your past grades and you’ve got quite a bit of missing work.”

“Y-yes I know but-”

“But nothing.” He says it softly but it still manages to shut you up. “Care to explain why that happened?”

Truthfully, you had no reason other than laziness. You’d missed one, then it spiraled into two, three- you’d managed to catch up before it got too bad, though, or at least so you thought. You stayed silent, eyes tracing the wood grains in the desk.

“Hm, no answer. That’s a shame.” Clicking a few things, Geto ticked a brow upwards. “Looking at your recent work, I don’t know if there’s anything you can do.”

“What?” That makes your head snap up in fear. It was only the middle of the term, surely your grade wasn’t that far gone? “Mr. Geto, what-”

“Call me Suguru, please. It’s just us here, we aren’t in class.” He cuts you off with a raise of his hand and an easy smile.

“Suguru…” You say it slowly, worrying your lip briefly. “My grade can’t be that bad already that there’s nothing I can do.”

“Take a look for yourself.” Turning the monitor towards you, Suguru’s smile got bigger seeing your devastated face. Your grade was beyond horrible, the number on the top of the screen making your stomach churn.

“But I...I just checked it for myself not too long ago. How could it have changed like that?” Leaning back in your chair in shock, thoughts spiraled in your head. Lost in your own world, you didn’t pay any attention to your teacher.

He stood up slowly, brushing down the front of his shirt as he tucked in his chair. Shuffling a few things on his desk to the side, he smoothed his hand on the empty space he created as he rounded the corner, leaning against it as he stood in front of you.

“What can I do to fix my grade?” Looking up at him, Suguru nearly cooed at the pitiful look in your eyes.

“What’re you willing to do?” His voice is staggeringly low, a mere rumble in his chest and throat. He barely speaks them properly, they just tumble forth and into your lap. You take a pause, sizing up the way your teacher takes up so much space in front of you, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest.

“What do you mean?” You know exactly what he means, you can see the slightest bulge forming in the front of his pants.

“I think you’re smart enough to figure it out.” Suguru chuckles, letting his hair out of it’s bun and draping it across his shoulders. Licking your lips nervously you stare at him, throat tightening the longer you look at the sunkissed beauty.

“Okay.” Whispering quietly, you shuffle your bag out of your lap, you begin to fiddle with your bottoms.

“Hold on, where’s the rush? We should savor this moment, hm?” Grabbing your hands, Suguru pulls you up to standing. Wrapping an arm around your waist he grabs your chin and tilts your face toward him.

He kisses you gently, getting a feel for your demeanor. The hand around your waist grips you tighter, his fingers digging in painfully and making you squirm closer to him to try and get away. Your hands clamp down onto his shoulders to steady yourself, a muffled whimper coming from you.

Suguru slips his tongue into your mouth with ease, slotting his mouth together with yours and overtaking your senses. Even with your eyes squeezed shut, you’re surrounded by his presence and overwhelmed with the energy he has just below the surface.

“S-sugu-” Your voice breaks when he leaves the kiss and moves onto your neck, nipping at the column of your throat and behind your ear.

“Sugu? That’s cute.” He chuckles while tugging the collar of your shirt down. Kissing the new skin before him, Suguru wastes no time in biting down. A sharp cry leaves you at the sudden pain, hands flying to try and push him away. “Calm down.” It’s all the warning Suguru gives you and then he’s biting you again, higher up on your neck.

Suguru sucks harshly on your neck, his teeth digging into the flesh with no remorse. Tugging on his hair, you’re worried about the marks that’ll be left behind, the ones you’ll have to explain to your friends after this meeting with your teacher.

“Take this off.” Tugging at the bottom of your top, Suguru releases you from his hold. “That too.” He mumbles when you make no move to take your bra off as well.

“Sir…” Crossing your arms over your chest, embarrassment washes over you. It was fine when you were just kissing him, but now clothes were coming off and- and did you really want to do this? Taking a look back at the monitor however, you knew this was the only option. There wasn’t any other teacher for this subject, and if you backed out now there would only be more headaches later.

“No need to be shy, little one.” Suguru chuckles and pushes away from the desk. Putting his hands on your shoulders, he guides you to take his spot, pushing you to sit on the empty space he made. Curling his fingers around your wrist, Suguru is gentle as he holds both your arms away from you.

Craning your head away, you can’t stand to see the lustful look in his eyes as they roam over your topless body. Suguru bites his lip, letting out a low whistle as he lets go of one of your arms to cup your breast.

“You’re so pretty.” He says, eyes focused on the way your nipple pebbles under his thumb. Tugging on it, Suguru chuckles when you whimper and his eyes dart up to your face. “What a nice little noise.” Standing between your legs, Suguru puts your arm around his shoulders and leans in, kissing your neck on the other side while he plays with your breasts.

Twirling the ends of his hair with your fingers, the feeling of his fingers going over your nipples makes an ashamed heat settle between your legs. Unable to clench your thighs together to relieve the building pressure, you settle for squirming on his desk.

Pushing you back to lean on your hand, Suguru takes a nipple into his mouth. He flicks it a few times with his tongue before nibbling softly, scraping his teeth against the bud as his other hands makes work with the neglected breast.

“S-sugu, please-” Vocalizing what you wanted was near impossible, especially since you shouldn’t be wanting it in the first place. But the heat between your legs was killing you, and a few tugs to the ends of his hair wrapped between your fingers got him to stand up a little straighter.

“Getting antsy?” Suguru teases with a light pink flush on his cheeks. You nod, lip caught between your teeth as your eyes go down to his now prominent bulge.

“I want it.”

“Show me what you want.” He challenges immediately, a sick grin on his face. Nodding again, the hand on his shoulder drops down to run along his chest and down to it. As you work on unbuttoning his slacks, Suguru undoes a few buttons on his shirt, exposing smooth skin that’s slightly damp with sweat.

Pulling his hard cock out, it’s hot and heavy in your palm. Pumping it slowly, the veins that run up and down the length pulse beneath your fingertips, blood rushing straight to the head of his cock where it leaks precum straight onto the floor.

Suguru is pulling your bottoms and underwear down as you stroke his cock, his nails scraping against your skin from his eagerness to have you completely bare before him. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him pocket your underwear, but you don’t bring it up. You know you won’t be getting it back anyway.

“Look at this pretty fucking pussy.” Spreading your legs wide, Suguru practically salivates at the sight of your glistening cunt. “What a shame my pretty little student was hiding this from me for so long! I should mark you down just for that!”

“Sorry.” Chuckling bashfully, you let his cock go as Suguru tugs you closer to him, your ass beginning to hang off the edge of the desk.

“You’ll make it up to me, right?” He laughs lightly as well, grabbing your legs and putting them around his waist. “Good girl.” He hums when you nod obediently, head clouded with lust and a desire to please him.

The tip of his cock presses into you with ease, the smear of his precum and your arousal making an easy entrance. Your arms wrap around his shoulders to keep you steady as he bottoms out, a shiver running up both of your spines at the feeling.

“Fuck-” Suguru barks suddenly, drawing his hips back. “You’re milking me already, I can barely pull out.” Snapping his hips forward again, Suguru delights in the wet slap that comes from it. Beginning to rock into you, he can see the fabric of his pants staining darker from your juices, a wet patch surely forming on his desk under you as well.

Planting a hand next to you, Suguru’s back curves against his shirt as he fucks you. He had wanted to take it slow, this was only the thing he’d been working towards since classes started, but the drag of his cock against your walls was demolishing that plan.

“Sugu!” You cried, burying your face into the crook of his neck. Your breath fanning over him added to the heat washing over him, more sweat accumulating under his clothes and sticking to your face.

Hearing you moan and whine beneath him drove Suguru wild and he couldn’t help the way his other hand pulled up from your thigh and slapped back down, making you jump and tighten around him.

“My slutty little student- how naughty you are.” Slapping your thigh a few more times, Suguru pushes his hand between you and finds your clit with his thumb, rubbing it in tight circles. Choked moans came from your lips and you squeezed him tighter.

“Sugu- sir- ah, fuck-” The wet slapping sound gets louder, your slick gushing out of you at this point and coating Suguru. Lifting your heavy head, you kiss him, teeth knocking together and accidentally biting his lip as you try to slide your tongue into his mouth.

Suguru leans forward to kiss you harder, nearly making you fall over from the weight. His finger moves faster on your clit, desperate to have you cum on his cock. His orgasm is coming faster than he would have liked and he doesn’t want to cum without feeling you fall apart around him.

He ends up leaning so far forward, you really do fall back, lips breaking apart as you crumple onto the desk. Suguru pulls you forward by your hips, your ass now nearly completely off the desk as he fucks you.

“Fucking little slut- gonna make me cum-” His bottom lip is between his teeth, clamping down so hard it just might draw blood if he keeps going. Suguru’s hair tickles your skin as he moves, cascading down around you and sticking briefly to your skin.

“Please, please-” Your voice catches in your throat as you cum. No sound comes out of you, your back arching high off the desk as the pleasure finally comes to a peak.

“Fucking beautiful!” Suguru smiles like a madman, his fingers moving even faster on your clit as you rhythmically tighten around him. He kisses your slack mouth, swallows the forced gasps and moans that come from yours chest as your lungs burn for oxygen.

Slapping your ass a few times, Suguru cums inside you. Pushing his cock in as deep as possible he grinds himself against you, pushing a long, low groan into your mouth as he does. The hand on your cunt drops away, wrapping wet and sticky fingers around your thigh as he moves away from your mouth to breathe.

“What a...what a good student I have.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he catches his breath. Letting your legs fall slack, Suguru pushes a hand on your bladder to feel himself slide out of you.

As his cock leaves you, there’s a dribble of his cum that follows, staining your cunt white and dripping down between the crack of your ass and to the floor. Rubbing a hand on your thigh, Suguru gathers the cum dripping out and pushes it back in.

“Shouldn’t waste any now.” He hums, tracing his fingers up and down your cunt.

“T-too much.” You whine pathetically, trying in vain to grab his hand and stop him. Catching your hand in his, Suguru relents and threads his fingers through yours. The gesture is sweet, even more so when he kisses the back of your hand.

“Such a sweet student I have, wanting to hold my hand.” You giggle at the sentiment, cheeks getting warmer the longer he looks at you with that smile on his face. “Let’s hope you can keep this up for the rest of the term, and maybe I won’t fail you.”

Of course this wouldn’t be a one time thing. Suguru intended to milk this opportunity for all he could, already planning on having you stay after his lesson so he can play with your cunt before his next class.

“Go ahead and get dressed.” Helping you sit up, Suguru untangled himself from you and grabbed a few tissues, putting them in your hand as he started fixing himself up. The sun had gone down even farther during your little escapade, no longer baking the room in warm orange light. It left only a dim, cool glow now, and the heat it provided you was quickly leaving your body along with the sweat evaporating on your skin.

“If you want to keep your grade up, I think we should keep meeting regularly to discuss your progress.” Suguru had his teaching voice on now that he was leading you out of his office ten minutes later, your panties stuffed into his back pocket. There were a few other people passing by in the hall, some giving quick waves to the two of you as they saw you.

“Okay, Mr. Geto.” You knew to play the part well, not wanting to arouse suspicion by calling him by his first name. No one in your class called him Suguru, and especially not Sugu.

“Glad you understand.” He patted your shoulder quickly, giving you a cheeky wink when no one was looking. “I look forward to seeing you in class tomorrow, (Y/N).” Giving your arm a brief squeeze, he sent you on your way. Turning back to his office, he closed the door and locked it, going back to his desk and laying your panties across his lap.

Pulling out his phone, he snapped a few pictures of your underwear, sniffing it briefly before putting it back in his pocket.

“Professor Satoru is gonna love this.”

#jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto suguru smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen scenarios

573 notes · View notes

flowesona · 3 years

Text

Wicker Man - yandere! jungkook x reader

so my child @babeejk wanted a y! sugar daddy jungkook, and i live for nothing if not to fulfil her jungkook obsession so here we are.

word count: 2.1k

pairing: y! jungkook x gn! reader

Most people (Y/N)’s age would spend their Friday night partying, hanging out with friends, trying new things. But (Y/N) was spending the best days of their life entertaining a young, rich CEO who would no doubt dump them for a new pretty face in a few years.

Jungkook was a sweet gentleman. Always made payments on time, and usually never pushed the boundaries. But there were instances where his hands crept a little too far for (Y/N)’s liking, or his grip on (Y/N)’s arm got a little too tight in the presence of his friends.

He was peaceful enough that Friday night, having ordered takeout for the two of them and put on a movie. Clearly, he needed the company of (Y/N) more than their body as most of their previous sugar daddies had coveted.

With (Y/N) placing their plate down onto the coffee table and relaxing into his arms to watch the movie, it was almost like they were dating. Jungkook didn’t dare push this idea often, happy to stick to the simple domesticity they had as if they were already in love and nothing needed to be said.

He pressed a kiss on the back of (Y/N)’s neck, enjoying the fleeting feeling of his lips on their skin.

“You seem tired, baby. Want to go to bed?” The film was reaching its climax, but (Y/N)’s eyes were barely able to stay open.

“Mmmmm.” They replied, not protesting as he lifted them like a bride and carried them into his room to rest on his king sized bed.

(Y/N) had allowed a gentle smile to settle on their lips, their eyes having drifted closed. Jungkook settled himself beside them, feeling equally as at peace.

“I wish every night could be like this.” He mused allowed. “Would you like that, baby?”

(Y/N) was only his for two nights a week - Fridays and Saturdays, wherein he would often have them stay for the night.

“Mmmmm.” (Y/N) gave an ambiguous grumble as he hooked his arms around their chest to spoon them.

“Really? I can’t wait, baby. I love you, so much.”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

The morning after, (Y/N) woke up to an empty bed. Unusual, considering that Jungkook loved to wake up beside them and talk in the morning. Brushing that aside they stood up and padded out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Jungkook was seated at the counter, glasses perched on his nose and his laptop in front of him next to a steaming cup of hot water (allegedly, it had health benefits but (Y/N) had never understood it).

“Good morning, baby.” Jungkook had a bright smile, beckoning them to join him at the counter. (Y/N) followed his instructions, hopping onto the stool beside him and leaning on his shoulder in a move they knew he adored.

“I’ve been working hard for you this morning, baby. You know, I want to get this done as soon as possible so we can be together.”

“That’s good.” (Y/N) hummed in reply.

“How do you feel about the moving company getting there at two today? That’ll give us time to have lunch on the way.” Jungkook ran his hand down their arm, soothing them as he noticed how they tensed up.

“What?”

“So you can move in, baby. Of course, you don’t have to bring everything here and I’ll be more than happy to buy anything extra you need-”

“Wait, wait, wait a second.” (Y/N) breathed out slowly. “Moving in?”

“We talked about it last night. You agreed, didn’t you?” (Y/N) scrunched up their nose, trying to recall the conversation but drawing a blank.

“No, I never agreed to that. And I never would. It’d break the terms of our contract.”

Jungkook had such a sincere look of hurt in his eyes that it tugged at (Y/N)’s heartstrings.

“We don’t need that contract, baby. We just need each other. You know I’ll give you anything you want, right?”

“And what I want… no, what I need… is for some space. This is just my part time hustle, I still have college and a life outside of this. I want to keep it to two days a week, otherwise it’ll blur the lines between you as a sugar daddy and you as a boyfriend.” (Y/N) tried not to let their irritation show as they spoke.

“Fuck the lines, (Y/N)! We don’t need any of those labels, I just want you to be mine as much as I am yours!” Their companion’s grip on their arm had grown tighter to the point that his nails started to draw blood. Realising this, (Y/N) pried his hand away and stood up.

“I’m sorry if I’d misled you. But I’m not looking for that kind of relationship with you, I’m just looking for strictly business. If this doesn’t work, maybe we should end this.”

Jungkook stared at them incredulously.

“Well…” He bit his lip, deep in thought. “Fine. Life will go on, I guess. I’ll call up the moving company and cancel it. Let’s not end this beautiful thing we have over a silly argument.”

(Y/N) nodded, although they had a horrible feeling in their stomach that it was not the end of the conversation, and Jungkook would stop at nothing to get his way.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

(Y/N) had chosen to make Thursday a ‘me’ day. They cooked themselves breakfast and lunch, did some online shopping and applied a face mask. They had zero intentions of visiting anyone else, when all they wanted to do was de-stress from life.

As they were lighting a candle and listening to some Beethoven, a shrill alarm rang out.

‘Huh. They don’t normally hold the drill today.’ (Y/N) shrugged, waiting for it to cease. However, it didn’t stop.

After a few minutes, (Y/N) grabbed their phone and stepped outside, only to see people hurrying down the stairs.

“Hurry! Fire!” One of her neighbours yelled, jogging past them.

Their eyes widened, but sure enough they could see smoke curling throughout the air and they knew they had no time to lose. Leaving their apartment with only their phone in hand, (Y/N) followed their neighbours down the stairs and out of the building, standing on the pavement as they watched the flames licking at the building and smoke billowing out of the open windows. Soon enough there were fire engines on the scene and ambulances to deal with the people who’d inhaled too much smoke.

(Y/N) found themselves sitting on the pavement, numb with shock. To think everything they owned was going up in the flames was terrifying, even as they saw the firefighters doing everything to minimise the damage.

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Their state of shock was broken by someone yelling their name, and suddenly they were pulled into a tight hug.

“Baby, thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you.”

“Jungkook?” (Y/N) instantly recognised the voice. “What- How-”

“I was in the area when I heard about what happened. I came as quickly as I could.” Jungkook pressed a kiss to (Y/N)’s forehead.

“You need to rest. Come back to my place, okay?”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

(Y/N) had ended up staying there far longer than intended. Their apartment had been completely wrecked by the fire, since it had started on their floor. Every possession of theirs, gone so quickly, although of course Jungkook insisted on replacing whatever they wanted.

Jungkook seemed to be very much content with their prolonged stay. In fact, he’d been working from home for the first few days to make sure they were settled in and not feeling too lonely. (Y/N) would sit with him in his home office, since they didn’t really have much else to do, and scroll on their phone until he inevitably called them over to cuddle with him.

The young man had become progressively bolder with his skinship, never holding back from pressing kisses to their neck or holding them a bit too tightly to his crotch. They hadn’t done ‘it’ yet, but with how he was acting it was only a matter of time.

They were just sitting together, (Y/N) scrolling through instagram and Jungkook answering some emails when the desk phone rang. Jungkook reached around them to answer it, holding it to his ear for a few seconds before putting it back down.

“Your nintendo switch has just been delivered. I need to go down to the lobby and sign for it. Are you okay waiting here for a few minutes?” Jungkook pouted, as (Y/N) nodded in reply.

He pressed a kiss to their cheek before standing up.

“Don’t miss me too much, baby.” He smiled before leaving.

(Y/N) let out a breath they didn’t realise they’d been holding in whilst he was there. But now, they were bored as ever.

A chime rang out, and (Y/N) found their attention drawn to Jungkook’s phone, sitting there innocently. They reached over and picked it up, only seeing a text from his mother asking about dinner plans next week. But they noted how he’d changed his lockscreen to a picture of them, from a few nights ago when they’d accompanied him to a formal event and he’d asked one of his colleagues to take a picture of them together.

(Y/N) suddenly had something to do. They set about trying to unlock Jungkook’s phone, first trying their fingerprint and face ID but to no avail. Then, realising that he had a numeral password they tried typing in a few dates - his birthday, his parent’s anniversary. Then, out of sheer boredom and with only one attempt they tried their own birthday only for them to be granted access to his lockscreen.

‘Jeez, he needs to get a life if he’s that whipped for me.’ They sighed, as they scrolled through his phone. Nothing was particularly out of the ordinary, until they checked the photo gallery, to be met with tons of pictures of them. Screenshots from social media, snaps from their ‘dates’, selfies with them fast asleep in his arms. It was enough to make (Y/N) shudder with fright.

Another message popped up.

‘I need the other half of the payment, sir, or I will be contacting the police.’

(Y/N) clicked on it, expecting business talk only to be met with something else entirely. Fear settled in their stomach as they scrolled up through the messages.

‘(Y/N) has been evacuated outside, doesn’t seem to have been hurt.’

‘Someone’s called emergency services, but the fire should spread far enough that (Y/N)’s apartment will be damaged.’

‘I’ve started it, it’s spreading quickly.’

It didn’t take a genius to realise what had happened.

(Y/N) dropped Jungkook’s phone on the floor in shock, standing up immediately. They��d walked right into his arms without hesitation, they’d played into his plan perfectly. Jungkook always got what he wanted, no matter the cost.

‘I have to get out of here.’

(Y/N) started for the door, only stopping to tuck their phone into their pocket. They were just by the entrance to the penthouse when they heard talking outside.

They knew they had to hide, but it was too late.

Jungkook burst through the door, accompanied by a stern faced delivery driver carrying a large box. This was subsequently placed by the door and he made a swift exit, avoiding (Y/N)’s existence the entire time.

“Ah, baby I missed you. Here, come and see what I bought for you.” Jungkook beckoned to them, but one look at their face told him he’d read their mood entirely wrong.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He cooed as he approached them. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it for you.”

“Get the hell away from me.” (Y/N) snapped. Jungkook froze. “I know what you did. What the hell is wrong with you? I could’ve died in that fire?”

His face became stern.

“I would never have allowed that to happen. I just wanted to give you a little push to move in with me, that’s all.”

“You’re insane!”

“And you’re too stubborn to progress our relationship!” Jungkook bit back. “Can’t you see how hard I try to make you happy? Is that not enough for you to love me?”

“I never want to see you again.” (Y/N) huffed, trying to show past him only to be caught in his iron grip.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

(Y/N) struggled, but Jungkook’s determination was stronger than their body weight.

“Maybe I am crazy, baby. And you know what that means?” He leant in close, so (Y/N) could feel the warmth of his breath. “You never know what I’m going to do next. So don’t try me unless you want to get burnt.”

#yandere bts #yandere jungkook #yandere kpop #kpop yandere #bts yandere #yandere jungkook x reader #yandere jeon jeongguk #yandere jeongguk x reader #yandere jeon jungkook x reader #yandere x reader #yandere oneshot

472 notes · View notes

hongism · 3 years

Text

touch of the devil - k.hongjoong 18+

↣ pairing: hongjoong x fem!reader | ao3 version (mxm seongjoong) ↣ genre: angst, fluff if you SQUINT, nsfw, fantasy, supernatural, demon!hongjoong, emo rocker!hongjoong, there do be plot tho. ↣ wc: 9.0k ↣ summary: you came to make a deal with a devil sure, but this is the last thing you were expecting out of a night in a dingy bar. ↣ warnings: explicit smut, mention of death, demons, it’s actually really heavy on plot and angst and less focused on the smut ↣ a/n: again i know it’s my birthday but this is my present to you guys, i am a person who prefers to give rather than receive on my birthday and this was the first thing i wanted to work on during my hiatus!! i’ve got so much inspo and motivation rn that it’s crazy and i can’t wait to have everything all set out for you guys when im back :3

﹊﹊﹊

Everything about the air around you is heady and thick in a way that chokes you as you step through the fogged bar. This isn’t your sort of scene – not one you would typically find yourself frequenting on a Friday evening without even so much as the company of a friend – and yet here you stand with hands pressed into the pockets of your black leather jacket. There remains a dull thrum in the atmosphere of the club, a steady rhythm of bass and vibrations that makes your ears ring but you do your best to ignore it in favor of reaching the bartender.

“Just a rum and coke please,” you murmur, hand sneaking out of your pocket to lay a few bills flat against the wood counter. You tug your ID card out as well and flash it in the man’s direction when he raises an eyebrow at you, but upon seeing it, he relents and steps away from you to get the drink.

The question remains of why exactly you are in such a dismal and hopeless scene full of people too drunk off their rockers to even fumble around the bar with some sense of dignity. You, who is neither dismal or hopeless yourself nor are you drunk in the slightest (at least not yet).

The answer is simple. This is a breeding ground, a festering cesspool of desires and greed, and it is the prime place to find what you are looking for in terms of deals with the devil. Maybe not one specific devil, but certainly whatever demon you can get your hands on tonight. And you have quite the lot to choose from it seems, because as you glance around the neon-lit building, you can spot many pairs of red eyes glinting under the lights. You know you have no right to be picky — any and all of them will get the job done — but you can’t help but to note that none of them are as appealing as you imagined they would be. When your friend said that these demons thrived off of lust and appeal, you figured that meant they would purposefully up the ante in terms of physical appearances.

The disdain must show on your features as the bartender begins to speak again as he sets your drink down before you on the counter.

“None of them are for you,” he utters, and you twist back to look him in the eye.

“What do you mean?” You inquire, chin tilting to the side in question, and the man huffs out a small laugh.

“They have their prey already. Picked ‘em the second they walked through the door. All it takes is one look to figure out what these needy people crave from them, what appearances they need to take, what voices to use, what outfits to wear. For people like you, though, something more is required before the real games begin.” He points a single bony finger at your face, staring you down over the length of his digit like it’s the barrel of a gun, and that has you shifting in your seat a bit.

“Something… more?”

“One must have a particular level of certainty before coming to make a deal with a demon, ma’am. But you — you don’t seem to truly know what it is you want. And for that reason, the King will see you with no ruses or deception.”

On the contrary, I wouldn’t have dared set foot in here if I didn’t know what it is I wanted, you want to say. However, your attention is held rapt by his final sentence, the one that held unspoken promise to it.

“And by that you mean physical alterations?”

“You catch on quickly, Miss.” The man leans forward, tongue darting out to swipe over his lower lip, and you glance over the motion only once before pushing away from the counter. He notes the slight annoyance in your features a moment later. “The King will like you quite a bit.”

“When can I expect for this ‘King’ to present himself?” You prop an elbow up on the counter and give one last forlorn glance around the bar in the hopes that someone will come over your way, but it’s to no avail.

“Patience, human. The show hasn’t even begun yet.” He motions towards the middle of the bar, the starkly empty space with a glossy stage set in the center with only a microphone held delicately in its stand and nothing else. You had been hoping to make this a speedy trip — a quick in and out with your deal made and nothing else — but it seems you won’t be having that luxury. And it is a bit frustrating, honestly, to come to this place with the expectation of having a demon cater to you and your wants only to be told that you aren’t certain enough for these supernatural beings, so you’ll have to wait on a demon who won’t cater to you or come to you immediately.

You take a quick swig of your alcohol with the desperate hope that perhaps drinking will make you more certain of what you want, although you already know it won’t. The bartender offers a shrug in response to your annoyance then pulls away to tend to other customers, and you take it as an invitation to swivel in your stool and face the stage. It’s still fucking empty, but at least it gives you a better view than the old wood of the counter that now sits under your elbows.

“Leave it to men to make me wait on them, demon or not,” you mutter under your breath, breath fogging the side of your glass a bit.

You nearly choke on the liquid inside in your next breath because the swirling red neon lights come to a halt on the center of the stage, and the suddenness of the shifting lights startles you so much that you have to sit up straight and inhale deeply to keep from coughing on the alcohol in your mouth. The hazed mist hovering above the floor of the bar seems to swirl towards the stage under the beams of light. You watch the movements as though in a trance, slowly leaning forward until your elbows come to rest on your knees. Out of everyone in the bar, you seem to be the only one interested in what’s going on at the center of the room. Mind you, everyone else is preoccupied: demons with their humans, and humans with the mask-wearing demons who cater to their desires. And while you have no reason to be so intrigued by the scene before you, you truly cannot bring yourself to look away, especially as the dull thrum of music in the bar heightens and gains momentum.

There is no way of describing the sounds rumbling around you. Perhaps if you were fully in your senses, you would be able to distinguish the instruments and beats of the song, but the bass clogs your mind and leaves you squinting at the hazy stage. It could be poetic, the way a lone figure pushes his way through the crowds of the bar like he holds all the power in the universe, studded black leather jacket slung around his shoulders. And as the red lights come over him, you can see his features better. Dusty brown hair that shines a bit, one side exposed and cut shorter than the other, which has bangs that hang loose over the side of his face. Metal bars line both ears, another near the end of his left brow, and a final more intricate one that loops around the middle of his lip and connects to two long metal chains. You follow the path of those chains with your eyes, watching them trail downwards until they loop around his chest and disappear behind his jacket. It’s just a black turtleneck that he wears underneath the dramatic leather regalia and chains but somehow he makes the garment look expensive. You dare glance a bit lower, just enough to make out the frayed and distressed jeans that cling to his skin like a vice, leaving hints of enticing skin underneath to peek through. You can’t see his feet thanks to the fog, but you can practically hear his footsteps drumming in your ears with the rise and fall of his shoes.

Simply put, you are entranced by the sight of this man — if he can even be called that, because you wouldn’t find yourself at all surprised should he reveal himself to be a demon on the tail end of this encounter. He barely looks up from the floor on his trek to the stage, only stopping when he comes before the mic stand and exhales against it in a way that sends shivers down your spine. It’s hardly reasonable for any creature to hold your attention in the palm of his hand the way this one does, but there is no chance of you looking away now, especially as his voice begins to drawl through the microphone and coat your ears like honey. There are words, you recognize enough in the music to know that it should be a song you’re familiar with, but none of them truly process in your daze.

It’s all you can do to just sit there and watch his performance. Between the gentle sways of his shoulders and hips, the teasing drag of his tongue over his lower lip whenever there is a break in his lyrics, and the overall intoxicating nature his aura exudes, you are hooked on every breath he takes. You don’t realize how relaxed your body has become under his spell until it’s too late, and that happens to be the last note of the song as well. It is accentuated with the drop of the glass in your hand and a sharp shatter of the cup against the floor. And just as you inhale a startled gasp and break out of your reverie, his deep crimson eyes flicker over to find yours across the bar. Those twisting lips churn something ugly in your gut. You can’t find the strength in your body to move.

“Mine.”

Your heart leaps in your chest as the word leaves his lips, and while you can’t hear it grate against your ears, you can clearly read his lips enough to know what he’s saying.

His eyes glint a bit in the darkness. It shouldn’t leave you wanting more, but that bitter taste of curiosity is nipping at the back of your throat, and you are far too intrigued to turn back now. You just want more. If he seems to understand that at all from the gleam in your eyes, he makes good on it, stepping off the stage and letting his hand drag over the mic in a way that is almost tantalizing. Step after step, he comes closer to you with his lips still curled into a smirk, and the way the lights hit him makes him seem to glisten and glow in the darkness. You don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until he breaches your personal space and you release a shaky exhale that seems to fog in the air between you. He stretches a hand out to close the space between your bodies and curls his index finger under your chin. The touch is simultaneously hot and cold — your whole body seems to light on fire under it, yet at the same time, the chill in your bones deepens to an alarming degree.

“What is it you desire above all other things?” You can hear him now, loud and clear, and whilst you heard his singing beforehand, the simple rasp and lilt to his regular tone is something that has you unashamedly weak in the knees. “I can give you everything,” he whispers as he presses closer to you. Your knees brush against his form but he keeps on pushing forward until he’s slotted himself between them. The chain hanging from his lips rattles like a chime, singing its unknown song like church bells in the night, although you are far from God and heaven now. “All you need to do is ask.”

You cling to some semblance of reason while you can, knowing full well that it will all leave you soon enough, but for now, it lets you choke out a single statement that has the demon before you laughing under his breath.

“That’s not how it works.”

“And who are you to tell me how it works?” His finger curls a bit harder at your chin, and you can feel the blunt of his nail scraping over your skin. Your eyes are glued to his, so enamored and consumed that you can’t even think to look anywhere else.

In that moment, it is as though the universe is nothing but a speck of dust in the corner of your vision. Something so raw and whole like the man standing before you is all-powerful and vigilant in a way that has every nerve in your body at full attention, ready for whatever his next step might be. And that turns out to be quite the curveball as it seems because he leans closer to you, breath intermingling with yours, and you subconsciously curve your back into his touch to reach him closer. Still, even though you physically show how ready and desperate for the touch you are, he waits and glances over your features.

“What is it you desire from me, human?”

You have to vehemently restrain yourself from simply saying ‘you’ and getting on with it.

“Your name.”

“Is that all you would have from me?” As a demon, it is his life’s work to know the inner-workings of the festering desires of humans. You have no doubt in your mind that he knows exactly what is it you want, even if you are not sure of it yourself, and you do not doubt that he won’t use that to his advantage either. But that’s what you asked for in coming here, and that is exactly what you both expected and wanted out of this.

Perhaps it is shameful, but just for once, you wanted to surrender control. Too often are you asked to have everything set out and planned and under control, and too often do you find yourself wanting someone to just tell you what it is you should do. That could be why the bartender labeled you as ‘uncertain’ because even in this moment of vulnerability, there is still the thinnest thread of thought tethering you to that control. And as of now, you want nothing more than for this demon before you to break that thread.

“I would have your name before I asked for anything else from you. Calling you demon over and over would certainly wear out its welcome, no?”

“That all depends on the context, my dear. But… you can call me Hongjoong, if that’s suitable to your tongue.”

“Hongjoong,” you try, testing the way the name rolls off your tongue in such a delicate manner that the demon before you flutters his lashes a bit.

“Sounds so pretty coming from lips so innocent.” He tilts his head to the side, and the movement flashes the pretty expanse of skin below his jaw. You aren’t shy in the way you let your gaze slip over it before trailing back up to meet his eyes again. “Would you close your eyes for me, doll?” He doesn’t have to ask. He could just make you do so with no resistance but still, he asks as though you could say no if you wanted to. You don’t though, and as such, your eyelids fall shut and your vision turns to black for the time being. “Do you know who I am?”

“Th-The bartender called you the King.”

“And do you understand what that means? Truly understand with every fiber of your being?” The question is heavy on your bones, and it is one that you feel like you should know the answer to yet you can’t find any response to his inquiry. Perhaps he means to confuse you because you hear the soft huff of a laugh fall from his lips. “King of the Underworld, Lord of the Dead. Some would call me Pluto, others Hades, it varies from religion to religion and in every culture. Sometimes I pick up rather banal and common names, other times I find myself seeking something extravagant and luxurious. Now… Hongjoong will be a good middle-ground for us.”

You should be falling to the floor in absolute shock due to his words, but the steady finger under your chin keeps you steady. That and the growing fear in your gut as you come to realize that this man holds so much power in just his pinky finger and could absolutely crush you under his heel whenever he wishes. What are you to a god besides an insignificant fleck of dust on the pavement?

“And what of your appearance? Is that… manifested as well?” You dare to ask.

“I have many faces, yes, but this one is one I wear boldly and frequently. You could say it is my natural form. After so many millennia of fantastical myths and legends, however, I’m sure that would seem odd to you.”

“Are you truly a demon then?”

“King of demons, yes. Whether I am truly a demon myself is something that could be ambiguous, I suppose, but if they are all part of my creations, then would that not make me one myself? Though you could say they are all fragments of my own being, making them all mythical gods. It’s all a matter of perspective; however, I doubt that you came searching this place for a lesson on perspectives.”

“No, I came for…” You trail off, and that blossoming uncertainty from before presents itself again.

“There are two things your heart wants right now. One, I can give you with ease and grace, only if you would allow it. That desire is a fleeting one, however, and I do not think it is what you are truly after in being here. The second… that is a wish I cannot deliver, and I think you are more than aware of that. The reason everyone left you to me is because of what you want. It is a domain only I could ever touch.”

You blink your eyes open in haste, searching his deep crimson gaze for some sort of confirmation of the words. The demon dares to look forlorn and lets his stare drop to the floor rather than looking you directly in the eye. Confusion blossoms in your gut. Yes, you figured there was a slim chance that your wish could not be granted, but still you clung to the desperate hope that maybe there was just a small window of opportunity for such a wish to be granted.

“Death is irreversible,” the demon, Hongjoong as he wishes to be called, says in a quiet tone. “I cannot give that which you want more than anything else.”

“Then what can you give?” You ask, squeezing your eyes shut as tight as possible to keep your emotions from slipping out the corners.

“One of two things: I can give you time to speak with him once more or I can make you forget the pain.”

“And if I choose the latter?”

“It would make you forget everything about him and leave you with no memory of him at all.” Hongjoong exhales a small sigh, the bouncing rhythms of the bass rumbling against your ears along with the sounds of his breaths. “You need not decide right this instant. The payment will be the same either way, so we can settle that first if you’d like.”

“W-Wait,” you stammer. You dare to open your eyes once more. “How would I be able to speak to him if you can’t bring him back?”

“I cannot bring him back the way you want. He… he is gone, and though I am the King of the Dead, there are powers even I do not have. Bringing him back to life is impossible, but I can create a doorway for the two of you to speak through for a short period of time. I have no control over how long it would be, just a forewarning. That is all up to him and his willingness to see you.”

“I can’t imagine he wouldn’t want to see me,” you murmur, but the pang in your chest tells you otherwise.

“Sometimes, death and the underworld change fundamental parts of people. They are no longer alive, after all, and as such, those human vices and personality traits dissipate. How you knew him in life could be vastly different than the spirit who now resides in my domain. It is all a matter of weighing risks, my dear. What matters most to you? Remembering him or him remembering you?”

“So if I ask to see him, I would remember him but there’s a chance that he would have no recollection of me? And should I ask to forget, there will be no way of knowing whether he remembers me in the afterlife or not?”

“Precisely.”

That is a hefty bargain to weigh. It is almost too much for your shoulders just to think about it. One is starkly more selfish than the other, but if he’s dead, what good will selflessness do you? It won’t bring him back, that’s for sure. Either you are left with the painful realization that he does not have any memory of you in the afterlife, or you forget it all to avoid that pain. Maybe thinking about the payment before deciding would be a good idea after all.

“As for the payment? How many years do I owe you?” Demons have no use for human currency or trinkets that could be traded for favors. You can barter the only thing you have — years of life. Whether it shortens your lifespan or turns you into a personal slave for a certain amount of time, that is a price you must be willing to pay for such services. You are more than prepared to barter it all off right now if need be.

“None,” Hongjoong answers coolly, and you quirk a brow upwards at the nonchalance in his tone. “I do not deal in years of life. Not often, at least. My abilities are bound in… passion. Lovemaking, fornication, sex, fucking – whatever you wish to call it. Of course, it wouldn’t have to be that exactly, should you not desire that. The other option is a blood pact, a ritual that would take hours to complete, although both could take quite some time depending on your stamina.” There’s a breath of silence that allows Hongjoong’s lips to twist into a suggestive grin, and heat brushes the base of your neck as you fight off waves of embarrassment. “I cannot guarantee that the blood pact would be painless. With sex, I could at least provide some comfort that the pain would only be temporary; however, the choice is yours. Both are binding and would mean that you could never make a deal with another demon again, and you would be marked as mine for eternity.”

“What does being yours entail?”

“Nothing diabolical or unsavory, I promise. Just… when the time comes for you to pass on and join the Underworld, you would take a place at my side.”

“How many people have you laid claim to? Did they all agree to the same terms? How can I trust your word?” The questions tumble from your lips without relent.

“For what you desire, the cost is far less than what I would usually ask for. Those lucky enough to deal with me in the past paid less for their debts. The blood pact… the fornication… both are binding elements. The real cost is your service. Most have agreed to give me their servitude in the afterlife, all with their own places in my domain. That is what you would be offering as well. You will live just as long as you would without making this deal but make up for it after your death.”

“And that’s it?”

Hongjoong’s eyes twinkle a bit under the lights above your heads.

“What did you expect from me, doll? Savagery? Unfairness? Everyone deserves a fair price for what they want, regardless of station in life or status in society.”

“Deal,” you utter without any more hesitation, blinking up into Hongjoong’s dark orbs. There lies a lingering sense of regret in your gut, one that you cannot chase away no matter how hard you try, but you do not need to dwell on it any longer.

“And how would you like to bind our deal, my dear? Neither can be handled immediately. The blood pact requires special preparations for the ritual, but the other — I would not have you in such a place as dirty as this.”

“I-I, um, sex will work just fine,” you bite out, the skin of your cheek caught between your teeth.

“Then when the time comes that you are ready with your decision on what it is you truly want, all you need to do is take this—” Hongjoong retracts his hand from where it rests gently against the column of your throat and digs into one of his pockets. He pulls out a gilded card, one that is black and gold with flecks of red across the surface, but there are no other adornments to the material. “Tear it in half and it will bring you to our meeting place, and I will join you there to seal the deal. Should you decide that you do not want this after all, then all you need to do is burn the card. The decision lies in your hands, and yours alone.” He has to lift one of your limp hands and forcefully place the card into your waiting palm, closing his fingers around yours to make you cling to the item.

“I – th-thank you,” you stammer as you blink from your closed hand to Hongjoong’s features.

“The pleasure is all mine, doll.”

Those are the last words you hear from the demon before he slips away from you, the dense fog lingering in the air swirling up around his body, and within moments, his shadowy form disappears entirely from sight. The air grows cold around you once more. You are left with only the fleeting desire for that warmth to return, for you to feel less alone than you are in that moment, and even if it’s the briefest visit ever you just want one last chance to tell your lost lover how you feel without mistakes this time.

///

The night, as per usual, is cold and unforgiving. It allows for too many opportunities to be alone with lost feelings and thoughts. It has been weeks (if not months) since you visited that dingy club and your fateful meeting with none other than the King of the Dead. Yet you are still here, wallowing in the memories that you’ve been left to suffer with alone, and the gilded black card sits in your nightstand untouched. You open the drawer just to stare at it from time to time, when the nights are particularly rough, and it already had begun collecting a thin layer of dust the last few times you looked at it.

It isn’t that you haven’t made your decision about what you want from your deal with Hongjoong. The more terrifying fact is that you are fully aware of what it is you want, and you simply cannot rectify the guilt that comes along with the pure selfishness of your decision. The feeling is so potent that it swarms your every thought. You know it wouldn’t be an issue once you meet with Hongjoong; the demon will take it all away and leave you with nothing. You won’t even know enough to be guilty any longer, but the pain of committing to the decision is strong enough to make you sick to your stomach.

Wooyoung — the one who suggested you go to the club and make the deal in the first place — will not shut up about how worried he is about you. You won’t recall the deal or why you made it, so what’s holding you back? A temporary guilt that won’t exist longer than a few seconds once you’re actually in Hongjoong’s presence? As he said, you just need to swallow the feeling and get on with it. Prolonging the regrets any longer won’t do you any good.

You huff out a quiet laugh in the silence of your darkened room. The black gilded card taunts you again now, gleaming up at you through the shadows with its faint hints of gold and red. Maybe Wooyoung is right and the only way to get rid of missed opportunities is to forget about them entirely. Yeosang was but a chapter in your life, one that is past and gone now, and as Hongjoong said, there is no reversing death. Seeing him one last time won’t give you anything but pain.

You stretch a shaky hand towards the card in the drawer. It’s cold to the touch, dust billowing up with even the slightest touch of your fingers. You have to dig your nail under the material to pull it up, and once it’s safely set in your palm, you drag your thumb over the surface to brush the dirt away. No words on the surface, no sign that it has been touched by a demon, and not even a hint as to what it could possibly be for.

It is surprisingly flexible, at least moreso than you would have imagined, and you give it a few testing bends to see how easy it would be to break. Hongjoong simply gave you the instruction to tear it in half and that was all. You don’t expect him to suddenly materialize before you on a whim, but surely such a creation is bound by some sort of magic on his part. It is hard enough to believe that demons are real living creatures, but magic as well? Maybe you’ve passed on and just don’t realize it yet. Still, you exhale one last huff of air into the darkness before letting your eyes flutter shut. Taking the card between your hands, you begin to slowly rip the material until it separates with the force, torn in two mismatched pieces.

Nothing fantastical happens.

That fact alone is so overwhelmingly disappointing that you really think for a moment that Hongjoong was just some goth rocker in a stoner bar who pulled an elaborate trick on you. It can’t be too difficult to get your hands on some weird red-toned contacts and weave some elaborate story about being the King of Hell. You could do that yourself. Why did you think he was incapable of such a charade?

Because he knew what you wanted without you having to say it.

Yes, well, Wooyoung claimed that your regrets and grief were evident in your features every time he looked at you. Maybe Hongjoong could see it as well.

You fall back onto your bed, flattening your back against the mattress with a small shout of frustration. The urge to cry is strong; if you’ve spent all these weeks uselessly worrying over something that could all be a farce, you don’t even know how you would react. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, blinking away the tears that blossom in the corners there as best you can. The rolling emotions in your system distract you from the sudden shift in temperature, and before you know it heat washes over you and fills the void of cold in your body. You jerk but refuse to sit up quite yet, eyes flying open in your shock only to choke on air as a bright golden light fills your vision and swarms you with warmth. The cushion under your body doesn’t feel the same either; it is not your bed, it’s too plush and soft, too warm under you, and you feel like you are absolutely drowning in the sensation.

Gold flickers above you, twinkling lights that glisten like small stars above you, and the ceiling is so dark that you nearly think it’s just an opening to the night sky. You sit up in a mad panic. The gold and red decorations littering the far too lavish room barely process in your vision as you look for a way out, and you don’t even see the figure coming up along your side until he’s upon you. A hand stretches out to brush over your forehead. You nearly shriek in your state of terror, but the sound is all but stolen from your lungs instead.

“It’s only me, doll. You’re safe.”

Hongjoong. Ah, Hongjoong. Then… he was telling the truth. It wasn’t a farce or a deception meant to be a game. He claimed to be the Devil Incarnate, and here he stands before you in a room too rich and exquisite for words. You can’t find it in you to think he’s lying now.

You dare to glance up and meet his gaze, finding it so soft on your face that you have the audacity to blush under his stare despite the things you’ll be doing with him soon enough.

“Have you made your decision then?” He asks, tone soft and light. It isn’t one that demands an immediate answer. You know he could ask what took you so long to decide, complain about your hesitance, say that you kept him waiting for far too long — instead, he exudes patience with you, hand slowly combing over your forehead down to your cheek and brushing over the skin there with a touch so featherlight that you almost don’t realize it’s there at all.

“I-I have,” you whisper like the two of you aren’t the only ones in the room and it’s a secret meant only for your ears.

“What would you have from me first then? As I told you before, the payment is the same regardless of your decision, and as such, we can bind the deal first if you’d rather.”

You swallow around nothing. There is no harm in going through with the decision now, but your nerves are so frazzled and out of sorts that you almost desire the sex simply as a means of stress relief. Hongjoong steps in front of you, fully coming into view, and you are shocked at how… mundane he looks. You blink fervently at the man — demon, rather — and take in the gentle part of his hair, the soft glow of his skin that makes him look simply ethereal under this light. He hardly looks like a demon to you; his features are too smooth and perfect for that, from the curves of his lips to the even line of his nose. Although you suppose that’s all he wants you to see, yet it still seems oddly intimate to a certain degree.

“You aren’t worried that I’ll try to run away after my wish is fulfilled?” You ask. Hongjoong arches his brows at you, and his neutral expression slips into one of momentary shock.

“Where are you going to go, my dear? I brought you to this place, and you will need me to send you back once we’re done here.”

It sinks in at that moment how you are completely at his mercy right now. Not that you had any plans of running away, but the question was moreso just to test the waters, see if he is truly as merciful as his features make him out to be. The underlying danger in his tone proves your point and sends a chill down your spine.

“Is that something I ought to be worried about, doll? Should I claim you now to make sure you keep your end of the bargain?” The question sits on your ear like warm honey. It chokes you, fills your senses with Hongjoong’s scent, and you almost find yourself leaning into his curling lips before catching yourself. That seems to pique his interest in the very least, and his smile twists a bit more. “The decision is in your hands as always. I won’t do anything you don’t give me explicit permission to do.”

“Permission granted,” you mutter before catching a hand on Hongjoong’s collar. “Do it all.” You aren’t too worried about damaging his clothes as he’s not wearing anything drastically fancy or expensive-looking, and thus you twist your fist into a ball around the fabric of his black tee and yank him down to your height. He bends at the waist, hands catching on the mattress before his forehead can smack hard against yours. There’s a bit of tension in his neck, and that keeps him far enough back so that he doesn’t kiss you quite yet. It’s almost as though he is waiting for something else, eyes carefully tracing your features with great care before he settles on your lips, and a sharp inhale of breath follows before that thin line in his composure snaps.

His lips hit yours with a surprising amount of force, and the kiss isn’t at all what you were expecting — well, to be more accurate, you aren’t quite sure what you were expecting in the first place. It’s much more pleasant than you could have imagined though, and Hongjoong isn’t shy with the touch at all. His tongue is quick to swipe over your lower lip, hands darting upwards to brush over your sides before reaching your face, and he brings a knee down on the mattress to support his weight as he leans over you. You follow the motion when he pushes forward and lean back until you have no choice but to scoot back on the bed. Hongjoong moves with you with the same amount of fervor, still pressed to your lips without relent, and you don’t even think to stop as he completely drapes himself over your body, knees still up and supporting his weight. The cushion of the mattress dips by your head, a telltale sign that he’s placed his hands there, and you use that as your opportunity to stop for air. Hongjoong surely has no need to breathe like you do since he is undead, but he still pants above you, chest heaving as a pretty flush rises to his cheeks.

“Putting that much power in a demon’s hands is dangerous, is it not?” He mutters. You let your lashes flutter shut as he moves back to your lips, hot breath ghosting over your skin. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“I’ll tell you if it’s something I don’t like,” you murmur, opening an eye to peek at him. He meets your gaze with a soft laugh, but your answer seems to please him enough to bring his attention back to your lips. You inhale as his tongue breaches your mouth and pushes into the wet cavern inside. There’s no chance for you to fight back for any sort of dominance because he only thrusts deeper and coats the inside of your mouth with his taste until you can feel his tongue brushing over your palate. A quiet moan reverberates through your throat and against his lips. You feel the barest hint of a smile in the kiss, then his lips are suddenly gone from yours. You gasp for air with the freedom. Heat pools in the depths of your gut, a pleasant one that leaves you wanting more, and you aren’t sure if it’s simply been so long since you last had sex or if Hongjoong truly has that effect on you.

He returns to touching your body a moment later, hands trailing to the row of buttons on your nightshirt, and one by one, he pulls them apart until the material is barely clinging to your skin. His lips replace his fingers then. First at your jaw placing a wet trail of kisses and soft nips that leave you with goosebumps. Then he reaches the midpoint of your sternum and rests the flat of his tongue there, tasting and teasing your skin until you can do nothing but writhe under him because he is taking so damn long. Your impatience is laughable to him, as evidenced by the quiet huff of air that leaves him next.

“I want to taste every inch of you,” he mumbles against the skin of your stomach, hands pulling your nightshirt away to expose more of the skin underneath. He makes good on his words, and that damn tongue traces lower and lower until he reaches the band of your pants and underwear. You instinctively dart a hand down to tangle in his hair. “F-Fuck.” The curse slips out when you give an accidental tug to the hair close to his nape, and you nearly think that you’ve hurt him in some manner until you catch sight of the blissed-out expression on his features.

“D-Do you — can I…?”

“Do it harder while I eat you out,” he growls. His fingers close hard around the remainders of your close, and you don’t even have time to nod before he’s yanking both your pants and underwear down in one fell swoop. It leaves you more than a little exposed — you’re suddenly nearly nude before the demon who is still fully clothed, and that realization draws your thighs tight together in a sudden rush of embarrassment. You swallow hard around nothing, eyes darting away from Hongjoong’s prying gaze.

All of a sudden, he shrugs your hand off his hair and sits back on his heels. You don’t understand what his reasoning is until you settle your eyes back on his body. He’s leaned back to start stripping layers of clothes off in a rush, hands fumbling and struggling to pull them away in an orderly manner. There is no composure to his actions, only a hastened fervor that has him tossing his shoes far from the bed along with random articles of clothes until he’s laid fully bare before you. You really try your hardest not to glance down at his… you know, but the urge is overwhelming. Before you can even catch a glimpse, however, Hongjoong is on you again, hands latched around your thighs and pulling you to the edge of the bed as he kneels before you on the floor. The sudden movement has you squealing in surprise, and that noise is broken off into a startled moan when Hongjoong’s lips brush through your folds without warning.

“O-Oh god,” you gasp out. Hongjoong’s tongue gives a long and dragging pull through your heat, teasing some of the juices out of you with little restraint.

“Far from it actually,” he replies against your clit. A cheeky grin eats away at his features, but it quickly disappears as he returns his focus to your cunt. Your hand finds its way back down to his hair once more and tugs hard at the strands. Each tweak of his tongue through your folds has your legs jerking a bit, and he has to tighten his grip on your thighs to keep you from moving so much under his touch.

“I’m not — I w-won’t last, pl-please, I–” You can’t even finish the sentence as Hongjoong flicks the tip of his tongue right over your clit and cuts you off. He repeats that same motion, again and again, brings you right to the precipice of an orgasm only to tear you back down from it with soft kisses pressed to the outside of your folds. You can’t keep track of how many times he repeats that process, but it is more than enough to have you shaking from exhaustion and desperation even though you haven’t even been able to come yet.

“Are you going to beg for it, doll?” Hongjoong hums after what feels like hours of pleasurable torture. “I promised to make you feel good, did I not? You just have to tell me what you want.” His words are so taunting that it burns you with embarrassment. The need for that orgasm hangs on every nerve ending of your body, and you could cry just out of the need to come.

“Please,” you whisper in a tone broken from constant moans and cries.

“Be more specific.” It’s so cruel. He dangles the promise of pleasure before your eyes again, this time nipping ever so gently at your bud, and you really do cry this time, fingers digging harshly on his scalp. That draws a prolonged growl from his lips, and it reverberates against you so nicely that you could come from that. Hongjoong pulls his head back too soon though and the sensation is dashed away.

“N-No, no, please. P-Please, Hongjoong, I — please let me come. I need it, I need it so badly. Shit, just – just please let me come,” you wail as tears slip out the corners of your eyes and spill onto the sheets under you. That’s the breaking point for him as well, or so it would seem, because the next time his mouth brushes through your cunt, he doesn’t relent. You come undone on his tongue, riding out the waves of your intense orgasm as he fucks his wet muscle into your heat. He won’t stop chuckling either — a low noise that just prolongs the pleasure and makes you quiver from overstimulation. He doesn’t let up until a dry and choked sob pushes past your lips.

Suddenly he is back up on the bed, bent over your body to be eye to eye with you. His fingers trace over your wet cheeks then clasp hard around your jaw.

“Too much?”

“N-No,” you stammer through the wet cries. “So good. So so good.”

“Mm, can you take my cock too, doll?” He all but purrs the words against your skin. His soft and trailing kisses return to your skin, peppering the line of your jaw just past his fingers.

“Yes, please, I c-can. Please. I want i-it all.” You never thought you could sound so overwhelmingly desperate, but the tumbling sensation that swerves through your stomach as Hongjoong’s demeanor shifts has you falling into absolute shambles. He shifts your position, pushing you up higher to rest against the pillows, and you start to drape your legs around his waist. That must not be the position he had in mind though, because his hand clamps down hard on one of your calves and pushes it to the top of his shoulder. Before you can even blink, he does the same with your other leg, effectively folding you in half and into a position you weren’t even aware that your body was capable of. That shock is momentary as you feel the tip of what must his cock rubbing over your pulsating hole. You can’t do anything but ball your fists around the sheets under you and cling to them like a vice. It’s the only thing that can prepare you for his girth; the stretch may not be as much as you thought it would be, but it still stings like a bitch even after he bottoms out in you. That pain must be showing on your features – in the way your brows are tightly knit together and your eyes are screwed shut so that excess tears from earlier slip out.

The soft caress of lips touches your forehead. It’s so gentle and delicate that you nearly miss it in your efforts to grow used to the sensation between your legs, but Hongjoong repeats it time and time again until your breathing steadies and your chest stops heaving as much. It’s only then that he dares to resituate his hips. You crack an eye open to look at him, and it’s abundantly clear that he’s trying his hardest to hold back and keep from fucking into you with reckless abandon.

“I’m okay now,” you whisper, pulling a hand off the bedsheets to brush some loose strands of hair out of Hongjoong’s vision. “Please fuck me as hard as you’d like.” You snake the same hand around the back of his neck. When he still doesn’t move, you offer a sharp tug to the hair that falls over his sweat-slick nape, and that spurs him into action. His hips snap roughly against yours, pushing your back further into the crude curve it’s already in. Now that the dull throbbing pain has dissolved into a sensation of pleasure, you drown yourself in the drag of his member inside you. It’s quite possibly the best feeling you’ve had all night with the way his tip rubs over your bundle of nerves at just the right angle.

Hongjoong drops his elbows to the pillow under your head, and you greet him with a kiss that is mostly just an awkward clash of teeth for the most part. He gains enough composure to shift the angle to one that’s easier for both of you, hips still working hard as he rocks into you with the same force and speed as before. You are so lost in the euphoria that you can’t even feel your next orgasm sneaking up on you, but when it does, it pulls a noiseless scream from your lips. Hongjoong mouths at the corner of your lips as you ride it out. He still seems far off from his own high, even as he slows the pulses of his thrusts. You claw your way back from the high of your orgasm to grip his hair tighter and pull him closer to you.

“In me. I need you to come in me or not at all,” you demand through a huffed out sigh. It’s a moment of throwing caution to the wind, one that is quite worth it thanks to the expression of hunger and lust that fills Hongjoong’s face.

“You can’t just say things like that, doll,” he growls into the shell of your ear. You try to laugh but he interrupts you with a thrust harsher than any of the ones before. Every sound that falls from your lips now is stuttered and broken at the seams, and you let him fuck you with that same level of passion until he finally seems to tire and lose his rhythm. The only warning you have that he’s about to orgasm is the slight whine to his tone when he moans next. You push what strength you have left into clenching hard around his cock, and that is ultimately what tips him over the edge and pulls a delightful moan from his lips as he spills into your tight heat. He releases his hold on your legs, letting them slip away from his shoulders and back into a more comfortable position on the bed, but he refuses to move off your body.

You aren’t sure how long the two of you stay like that: with Hongjoong continually mouthing small kisses to the underside of your jaw and you just staring blankly at the glittering ceiling with a mind nearly empty. However much time passes doesn’t quite matter because once you recover your senses enough to be coherent again, you recall what is supposed to come next. Shaky hands find their way to Hongjoong’s arms and trail up to rest atop his back.

“Take it all away,” you exhale through a pant, hands clinging desperately to the milky skin of Hongjoong’s shoulders. “I don’t want to remember him anymore.” His chest heaves against yours, and a few loose strands of dark hair fall forward to stick to his sweat-slick forehead. This time when he kisses you, it is hot and searing, a brand against your lips, one that burns the inside of your mouth and sets your tongue alight. The sensation slips down the back of your throat, fills your gut, burns you from the inside out, and all your thoughts go hazy under the touch of his lips. With that one kiss, Hongjoong takes it all away. He gives into your desires, heeds your wishes, and grants you the ultimate peace and serenity you so deeply craved. He continues to cling to you like he’s never held something so desperately or lost in his infinite existence. You return the embrace in full while you can, strength already leaving you in the afterglow of your fornication, and you rake your nails down over his back if only to leave him with some sort of trophy to leave with. He is already leaving with your memories though, a trophy to hold close to his heart should there ever be a time when you ask for them to be returned to you. Perhaps in your afterlife, you’ll ask for them back, and Hongjoong would gladly give them should it be what you desire.

That is what he is, after all. As much as he takes, the Demon King of the Underworld gives in return, where he can with what he can. His duty, his bond, the sole purpose for his existence is to maintain that balance between giving and taking. But if it’s for you — a creature so lost, dismal, and hopeless — perhaps he can tip the scales a bit further in your direction.

At least, that’s what he thinks as you curve your body into his and press your lips with more fervor than before. That maybe, just maybe, endless years of his own hopelessness and confusion were all meant to lead him to finding this: a purpose in his undying life.

﹎﹎﹎

#atzinc #kdiarynet #kwritersworldnet #ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez angst #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #ateez oneshot #ateez scenarios #hongjoong smut #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong angst #hongjoong imagine #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong oneshot #hongjoong scenarios

471 notes · View notes

jade-parcels · 3 years

Text

A classical music piece that reminds me of Ajax. Enjoy this unedited word vomit 💕

❄️Anne Akiko’s Estonian Lullaby❄️

This piece feels a bit sad to me, it’s beautiful, soft and overall genuinely nice to listen to. I heard it in the car the other day and I cannot get this image out of my mind.

Ajax has returned from a 4 month deployment out to Liyue, leaving you back in Snezhnaya with his family. Every day you wait for a letter that will never come, not with the new restrictions on contacting those outside of the Fatui ranks. And every night you sit by the windowsill after dinner, resting your forehead against the cold glass as you silently watch, hoping to see your fiancé’s silhouette emerge from the snow. Tonight is no different.

Downstairs, Tonia plays her violin and her mother sits at the piano, the two playing a piece from an old book from Fontaine. The sweet melody threatens to lull you to sleep, your eyes droop, your body wanting to rest after hours of work earlier but no, you force your eyes back open, wiping fog from the window so you can see properly. What you see now isn’t the usual landscape, the sun has set, the moon reflecting a blueish glow onto the snow outside. Though there is a new blue glow that is not provided by the moon- no, that is a vision. That…Is Ajax.

Your body moves on its own, tugging on your boots, sliding into a thick jacket and slipping out the back door undetected. He’s there, standing on the frozen lake, waiting for you to come to him. And you do

The snow crunches beneath your feet as they carry you to him, your arms extend to wrap around his warm body, your tears wetting the Fatui uniform you’d buried your face into

“Shhh…I’m here, it’s alright” Ajax whispers, swaying you side to side “Don’t cry, you’ll make me cry” he tries to laugh but you can hear the quiver in his voice

You join him in the gentle swaying, fumbling for his hand, placing your other on his shoulder. Ajax picks up on what you’re doing, wrapping his arm around your waist as he begins to lead you in a dance. He isn’t the best at it, neither are you, but no one is here to see. Tonia’s violin and her mother’s piano playing can be faintly heard from here so the two of you steal this moment for yourselves, silently swaying side to side, finally holding each other after months apart.

You look up at him, taking him all in. He’s paler than usual, his beautiful eyes have purple bags beneath them. He looks so tired, utterly drained. The way he moves is stiff, as if he’s sore. You don’t doubt that he is, he’s told you about what it takes to be a harbinger. Being injured isn’t even the worst that could happen.

Ajax rests his head on top of yours, breathing in your scent. The swaying becomes slower, his grip on you tighter “This…this isn’t me coming back” his voice sounds strained “I have to be back to the palace by dawn I just…I just had to come see you. I feel so empty when we aren’t together it- I don’t know how to describe it” he shakes his head, sighing into your hair

“I feel the same way” Your hand leaves his shoulder to trace comforting circles on his back “Why can’t you stay? Haven’t they worked you hard enough? You deserve to come home for awhile”

Ajax merely shakes his head “You know there’s no such thing as them working me ‘hard enough’. This is my job, I’m used to it” he looks out at the stars, his vision blurred with unshed tears “I know it’s childish to wish for things. Teucer likes to wish on stars, he says if he really believes then maybe they’ll come true. Well…I wish that you and I could run away”

His admission catches you off guard, you pull back in order to look at him and are surprised to see him crying. Ajax has shown a range of emotions. You’ve seen him jump for joy, grit his teeth in anger, but you’ve never seen him cry. You use your sleeve to wipe his tears away “Now why would you want to do that?” You ask “Your family would miss you”

Ajax takes a stuttering breath before talking again “Thats the hard part. I’d have to bring them with me. We’d live far away where the others won’t find us. My brothers and I can build us a house in the woods, we can all live happily without any responsibilities…wouldn’t that be nice? I could be there all the time, I wouldn’t have to worry, wouldn’t have to miss out on everything all the time…I could just…be a normal guy”

Your heart aches for him. Ajax is a complex man. In a way, he’s still a kid who grasps at fairytales and wishes they were true. On the other hand, he’s a beast. You don’t like to think about it, don’t want to think about that side of your husband. The way his abyssal form froths at the mouth at the sight of blood, the way he grins when striking enemies down. He turns into a different person out on the battlefield. If you two ran away, would he be able to tame that side of himself?

But overall, Ajax is a family man. He loves his mother, his big sisters and brothers. He’s a role model for his younger siblings. He looks up to his father, respects him more than any other male figure in his life. He strives to be like his father: a good husband, a reliable man who will do things out of the good of his heart. A man who will care for the sick and help out a neighbor without expecting a favor back.

Ajax chose a profession without thinking about the long term effects it would have. He never saw himself living long enough to get married, never saw himself able to settle down. Now he has a dilemma which cannot be solved. As much as he longs to run away he knows the other harbingers would track him down easily. They’d drag him back and dispose of his family to prevent future distractions.

So this is what he must do. His deployments are getting longer and longer. He doesn’t know when he’ll get to come back. All he knows is that he needed this time with you, he needed to hear your voice, feel your touch. Even it would only last an hour

The stars above flicker, the snow gently falling to land on your eyelashes. You know he has to go, he has to go back to being a killing machine for cruel, loveless archon. You want to be selfish, you want to drag him inside and curl up under some thick quilts together, to drink hot tea and listen to stories about Liyue. But it won’t happen.

Ajax composes himself, cupping your cheeks with his warm hands. His lips are chapped and cool when they meet yours, his kiss tastes like firewater and gingerbread cookies. He tells you he’ll be back, asks that you keep this meeting a secret…Then all too soon he pulls away, leaving you feeling cold and empty. You call out to him “I love you! I love you, I love you, please come back to me soon!” He says he will, promises to try and get some vacation time.

You stand there numbly as pretty snowflakes dance around you. Clouds roll in, blocking the moon’s glow. You watch as Ajax disappears into the darkness, the soft glow of his hydro vision getting further and further away until you could no longer see it.

Again, you hear the sweet melody from the house. It sounded much louder when the two of you danced, now it sounds so far away. You trudge back up to the house, kicking off your boots when you step inside. Teucer bounces over to you, toy ‘cyclops’ in hand

“Hey! Where did you go? You coulda froze out there!”

You ruffle his hair and force a smile “Ah, I didn’t mean to worry you. I was just…dancing” he looks confused but doesn’t question you further. Instead, he grabs your hand and takes you to the livingroom, where everyone else is now, in order to enjoy the music together

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact writing #genshin impact childe #genshin impact tartaglia #childe x reader #series: classical music stuff #idk if it’ll be a series I have a song picked out for diluc #but not the motivation to write it rn

61 notes · View notes

333sth · 3 years

Text

dove. (frankie morales)

chapter i. previous.

pairing: frankie morales x ofc (’dove’) no use of y/n.

warnings: mention of ptsd/military service, language, violence, brief mention of torture/kidnapping, injury detail, fighting.

summary: frankie was going to propose, until dove found the ring and ghosted. even santi can’t track her down.

rating: mature. wc: 1.6k

Dove was a nickname coined by an old general during her training. He was a traditional man, though not disrespectful. It was a term of endearment that probably softened the influx of powerful women breaching into the male territory. He’d drawled, ‘I ought to call you Dove – I ain’t never seen a girl so swift, yet so fuckin’ lethal.’ She kept the boys in line too, he’d noted. When Benny got too reckless, or Tom’s temper ran away with him, she was the first to snap them out of it. In environments where peace was a very distant concept, she played the peacekeeper.

One time, during a two-month deployment in Nigeria, the group was shoved in the back of an ancient pick-up truck for six hours. Dove was wedged between Will and Frankie, sweltering in the humid air. The stale smell of sweat mixed with blood and diesel was permeating the air, and they were three hours from the nearest checkpoint. To pass the time, she asked them what they’d do if they weren’t special forces.

That was easy for Will – he’d be a teacher of some kind. Benny waffled about sports, making some brash comment about how he’s got to channel all his aggression somewhere. Tom and Santi couldn’t come up with anything that suited them more than the forces, which was not surprising. Frankie would still be a pilot somehow. Dove had never seen him more comfortable than in the pilot’s chair.

Dove dreamed of owning her own bar or café, somewhere relaxed and laid-back. A beach perhaps, somewhere quaint and peaceful, where the air is warm well into the late evening and the waves are gentle, collapsing onto the sand like white noise. She imagined the hum of conversation meeting tinkling music, beach lanterns dotted around the decking to cast an ambient glow beneath the stars. Maybe a chef on weekends could make bar snacks. Tom had snorted at that, throwing a jab about how she can burn the water they use to make their dried food sachets.

The men had recalled this conversation, desperately trying to fathom where Dove might have taken off to. It was met with an aching nostalgia for the type of teammate she was too. That conversation had been a tactic, a peaceful one, to prevent the terrible concoction of adrenaline, exhaustion and heat forming an argument in that truck. She was a natural tactician as well as a good friend.

Frankie had recounted each country they had been stationed and exactly how Dove had felt about them. She had loved Argentina, even when she got shot and Will spent three hours with his finger crammed in the wound to stop the bleeding. But she also liked Jamaica, Brazil and Hawaii. None of their contacts in the forces had any trace of her, not even Santi’s in South America. Her family were none the wiser – they brushed it off, her dad mumbling something about it sounding like her usual antics.

All he had was a scribbled note that read, ‘I need space. I’m safe. I love you.’ It was folded neatly in his wallet, like he was carrying the last piece of her that he had.

Mexico. That was where she was. A small town on the West coast that had enough life to keep her occupied, and the guarantee of anonymity.

If people asked, she was a retired nurse, which wasn’t entirely untrue. She told them she spent a lot of her career in humanitarian aid, to explain the occasional jitters on a rowdy Friday night and the nasty scars. There was a particularly gruesome one leading from the base of her throat up to her bottom lip from a knife fight. She told them it was shrapnel, flung from a collapsing building, and she was lucky it didn’t catch her jugular. The locals had gasped in awe at her heroism. She’d flinched against the memory of how her own knife buried into her attacker’s throat instead.

A few days into her move, Dove had found what could only be considered a derelict shed on the beachfront. It was probably the remains of an old boathouse. With some help from the locals, she had restored the ageing planks of wood. What was spare formed the bar and some rustic furniture. She pieced together a jumble of second-hand bar stools, chairs and lanterns that made for an eclectic combination. It had character and history in its walls, rather than some swanky, expensive build devoid of any personality. It was exactly what she had dreamed of, huddled in hypothermic temperatures or insomniac in her cot at base, sleep beyond her reach.

It didn’t change the fact that every time she entered her bedroom, the old polaroid of Frankie pinned to the wall hits her like a ton of bricks. Frankie knows she took it – it was pinned to the fridge at their home before she left. It’s quintessential Frankie, sat with his arms folded to his chest, biceps straining slightly against an old denim shirt that was getting a little too snug post-retirement. It was at a barbecue, his skin tanned and flushed from a day in the sun drinking, tousled hair peeking out from the sides of a dog-eared cap. Every time Dove glances at it, she wonders if he still has that hat.

‘Of course he has,’ the voice in her head snaps back. Any piece of clothing she’d suggest replacing would be countered with, ‘over my dead body’. The man was sentimental, a little too attached to his home comforts. She’d also bought it him in a seedy gift shop in the middle of nowhere as a joke.

“To add some variety,” she’d said. He would never let it go now.

Once, Veronica had eyed the photograph on her mirror and asked, “Who is he then? An ex?”

Veronica, or Roni for short, had lived in the town her whole life until university. When she graduated and moved home to save money, she needed a job. Dove needed a friend, so she took her on as a bartender. She was young and giddy, but harmless. More importantly, she was too self-absorbed to notice or even care that her thirty-something year old boss had bullet holes in her back.

“Something like that.” Dove had replied, rifling through her sorry excuse for a makeup bag. She’d closed the bar early to have a rare night off in the next town over, which had considerably livelier nightlife.

“You never talk about relationships. Or men.’ Roni observed, peering over Dove’s shoulder to eye another photograph. It was a group picture of the boys, huddled in the same fraying booth in their favourite bar back in Florida. “Looks like you were spoilt for choice.”

Dove scoffed, meeting her friend’s twinkling gaze in the mirror. “Shut your mouth. They were friends from work.”

“Were? Does that mean you can’t set me up now?”

“They’re almost twice your age. You’d tire ‘em out.” Dove set down the lip-gloss she dragged out for special occasions. “Come on, I’m not getting any younger either. It’s already passed my bedtime.”

Thankfully, that was enough to amuse the younger girl into linking her arm and hauling her out the door to the taxi, no more questions asked.

The hollering of spectators and thudding of skin slapping against the mat was reduced to a distant buzzing in Frankie’s ears. It was dimmed by the incessant ramblings of Santiago and Tom, discussing the files Santi had put together on Lorea. He could feel the reawakening of his rusty military senses as he follows the familiar tactics, mentally registering his agreement or noting what he might do differently. He doesn’t vocalise it though, because he hasn’t even agreed yet. Joining the debate would inadvertently signal his agreement. He didn’t want that.

There was a shadow lingering in the space on the bench beside him. It was an empty presence, not Will, who was hooked on the cage of the ring yelling encouragement to his brother. Not Benny, thumping his leather gloves together with his teeth pulled harshly over his mouthguard, judging his competitor with a predatory glint in his eye.

The opponent was a monster, but he lumbered like his limbs were filled with lead. Frankie notes that Benny, nimble and tall, will have a breeze tiring him out. Dove would have joked that it wasn’t worth coming, that they’ll be sat here until their asses are numb watching Benny play cat and mouse. His chest twinges. Sometimes it’s too easy to remember what she’d do, what she’d say. He wished he knew what she’d make of Santiago’s proposition. She always saw through Pope’s glamourisation and Tom’s greed.

What Frankie misses while he observes his pitiful surroundings is Tom and Santi descending into a hushed conversation. Tom nudges Santi, “You got anything on Dove?”

Santi sighs, long and solemn, “Maybe.” As Tom’s face quirks in interest, he holds up his finger, “It’s just a hunch.”

“A hunch is better than what we’ve had in the last year.”

Santi takes a sip of his beer, casting a glance at Fish, whose eyes are trained on the floor and the swirling contents of his cup. He knows him well enough to know his thoughts are the only thing that have his attention.

“I worry about him. We all do.” Tom whispers. “Getting busted just made things worse.”

“Don’t get his hopes up, man. It’s nothing solid. It’ll crush him if I’m wrong.” Tom nods solemnly before Santi continues, “A friend of mine saw an ex-Delta in a bar, a woman. He knew ‘cause of a tattoo she had on the nape of her neck.”

Tom’s eyes widen. In front of them, Benny lands a sickening punch on his opponent’s nose, complimented by an audible crack. He’s barely breaking a sweat, dancing around as the guy heaves and stumbles forward.

Santi’s gaze doesn’t break from the ring. “Mexico. I think she’s in Mexico.”

#Frankie Morales #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier imagine #frankie morales imagine #triple frontier fic #francisco morales #Triple Frontier #frankie catfish morales #Frankie morales fic #Frankie Morales x OFC #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #benny miller #will miller #Santiago Garcia #santiago pope garcia #ben miller #dove fic

74 notes · View notes

baku-bowl · 3 years

Text

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart.

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?"

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

#fic rec #katsuki bakugou #bakugou #seriously though if you have a rec for me please always assume i will be unbearably grateful for it #and hit me up with it in the comments or through messaging #thanks for the follows y'all!

61 notes · View notes

all-about-seggs · 3 years

Text

Sultry Blues-

Rating: ❌18+, Explicit❌

Pairing : Gojo Satoru x Insecure! Fem Reader

Word count: 2.5 k

Warnings: Trigger warning for insecurities (not specified), Body Worshipping, a bit of food play, cunnilingus, Semi-public sex.

The faint sounds of ringing bells from the shrine was still in the air as you made your way to the inner structure of the prestigious Jujutsu academy. The path to the meeting room was straight and lined with stone carvings which gave the entire place an ancient look. You had a lunchtime date with your boyfriend, who would, hopefully be on time so you could be on your way.

This place always made you uneasy, not because of the dangerous connotations it brought in everyone’s lives but it was the people who freaked you out the most. To you, each one of the teachers as well as the students looked like some characters straight from a book, elegant, strong and perfectly capable of doing things normal people like you could only read about. Not having enough confidence on yourself physically or mentally worsened every time it dawned on you that you were dating the most perfect being of them all.

Perplexing wouldn’t even began to describe your state of mind when Satoru first took interest in you, sure looks or status didn’t meant anything to him but even in terms of personality you never thought the two of you would get along, so much so that you would become such an irreplaceable part of each other. But you knew his feelings for you did nothing to stop the ache in your heart when you saw him getting ganged up on by a bunch of women. Women attractive than you, smarter than you and definitely stronger than you.

This was exactly the place where all those kind of women lived making you feel even more of an outsider in his world. Not wanting to cause Satoru any worries you tried to psyche yourself up by picking up your pace only to be met with a hard shoulder to your cheek.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t looking”, you looked up at the stranger, she was tall, her sturdy figure seemed like she was also a sorcerer but her ID pass was tucked on the breast pocket of her coat along with her youthful face indicated she was a student, you squinted to see that her name was Lisa and as you were about to apologise when you saw her sneer at you.

“ Ugh… outsiders. Don’t you know how to walk properly? Or did you not learn that in your no name school?”, her condescending tone took you aback.

You knew you didn’t exactly belong here but she wasn’t cutting you any slack for being a civilian either. You wanted to ask her why was she being so rude but your queries were cut off as by the girl.

“ No need to explain yourself I already know who you are, I’ve seen you following Gojo- San like a lost puppy a lot of times, seriously it’s like you don’t even have a presence without him.”, with a pause you finally thought her pointless berating would come to a stop but she went on.

“ He has a reputation to uphold here so don’t go around embarrassing him with your airheaded and average looking face”, now with THAT she crossed the line but as much as you wanted to give her a comeback all you anger turned into self loathing in a matter of seconds and you stood there dumbly not being able to defend yourself from the onslaught of verbal attacks that even you partially agreed with.

Not even bothering to look at her when she passed you thought about her mean words that were half untrue. You knew dating a popular guy would include more that just a little bit harmless envy of girls. At this point you’d be lucky if you didn’t get attacked by one of your boyfriend’s fangirl. But, It wasn’t about Satoru anymore, you thought. It was about how you were letting the jealousy of his superficial admirers who didn’t even knew only knew his name and face. Before you could delve more into your darkening thoughts you heard a cheery voice call out to you.

Bag at hand, which probably contained some sort of dessert you saw Satoru gleefully making his way towards you. It took you a few seconds to plaster a believable smile to your face so you could greet him normally.

“ Wow I can’t believe IM the one who had to wait around this time”, placing a tiny kiss on your nose he pulled you in for a hug, his warmth seeping into you put your mind at ease and help you distract yourself from the horrible encounter before.

“ The meeting was pointless and even the snacks turned out to be lame”, whining a little he waved the bag in front of you. A convenient store vanilla sponge cake with a packet of strawberry sauce was right in front of you and honestly if it were you, you’d probably eat it without question but knowing his love for quality sweets it was understandable why he’d complain.

“ Well actually, with the right toppings and modifications even convenient store packed cakes can taste top class!”, thinking about all the ways you’ve experimented watching diy food videos you started thinking up of ways to serve it to him.

“I see, that’s a good idea and I think it’ll give us some headstart for our date wouldn’t it?”, saying that he gestured you towards one of the buildings that lead to the back exit.

Walking hand in hand Satoru came to a stop which seemed like a closed off gate that was not in use anymore.

“ Why are we here? I thought the back exit was the other way around?”, confusion painted over you face you turned to face your mischievous partner.

“ you said you’d help me eat them, and I think it’s a pretty good place, don’t you?”, stepping closer he urged you to take a look around. The area didn’t have any benches, buildings or even people around and the only sound you could hear was the birds and the small artificial streams of river that flowed a few steps away from the closed off exit.

If Satoru was insinuating something you started to get the hang of it and you soon felt you face get hotter. The afternoon sun did nothing to help you cool down as you struggled to make sense of the situation. His hands were all over your body, caressing, pinching and feeling you up.

“ What’s wrong? Not up for it in semi public style?”, his breathy voice got lost in the crook of you neck where he inhaled your scent, “ you know nobody’s gonna come” with a slight push, he pinned you againt the vine-covered gate, “Except for you”.

“what the- WAIT! It’s still so bright out here not to mention we’re in PUBLIC Satoru!”, wide eyed you try to grab at his hand that was halfway done unbuttoning the top of your blouse.

“Do you want me to blindfold you?”, throwing these words nonchalantly he started licking every bit of exposed skin he could find from your ears to chest.

His mouth made contact with your covered breasts and without bothering to remove the piece of clothing he latched his mouth onto your hardened nipple to give it a gentle bite. Holding back your own moans you placed you hands on his broad shoulders, a feeble attempt at stopping him.

“How would THAT resolve anything?!” already half naked, your retorts seemed like pathetic excuses even to your own ears. It wasn’t until you heard a sharp rip that you realised your underwear was no longer on your body anymore. With a horrified look you saw your unusable underwear in Satoru’s hand.

“ I don’t think you’ll be needing these anymore my sweetness because I want to see ALL of you”, dangling the fabric from his long fingers he made a show of tucking it in his pocket. Hiking your skirt up with one hand he caressed the soft flesh with his thumbs.

“I knew you had no sense of danger but this could even get us arrested”, your reasoning seemed to fell on deaf ears as your boyfriend, already half way down on the ground, pulled his blindfold down with ease. Looking at up at you with his ethereal turquoise eyes that lied beneath strips of heavy white eyelashes, this part of his face was something you couldn’t see all the time.

“You’re beautiful……”, the genuine nature of his words felt unreal when compared to his everyday frivolous self, “at least I’ve always thought so”.

All the voices in the place except for his, got drowned out by the throbbing of your heart in your chest when he kneeled right in front of your crotch. The warm smile on his lips contradicted with his tantalizing actions but he enjoyed it precisely because of that.

“Open your legs a bit more y/n, I need more space to eat”, with his haughty smirk back he exposed more of your pussy with his fingers and dribbled the strawberry sauce over it until it started trickling down to the ground underneath it.

“This looks like a good dessert, waaay better than the one I was offered before”, making one last smartass comment he threw the now empty packet away and your sugar coated pussy was soon met with Satoru’s soft, warm tongue as he buries his face in it. His tongue worked it’s way beneath the layer of your pussy hair and down to the soft flabby skin underneath. Your natural slick combined with the dressing sauce tasted even sweeter in his mouth, the pleasant hums falling uncontrollably from his mouth made you wetter.

All the blemishes, scars and your self imposed flaws started melting into something more complete and unbreakable in its nature when you felt Satoru touching you, feeling you and tasting you from the inside and out.

His warm hands firmly gripped your thighs to lap at the soft peak in between. All the sensations his tongue was providing you made your vision turn black and your body heated up to the point of burning. The broad daylight and your exposed form added to the fear of being found out but your trust in your boyfriend outweighed everything so you let him have his way.

“ Hmmm, yeah y/n…”, the exaggeratingly loud slurping of his mouth came to a stop as he looked up at you, his pink lips glistening even more when he spoke, “Even this cheap stuff tastes better when I eat it directly from you”.

You were a panting mess, already having lost the ability to make coherent words you kept you eyes on Satoru as rose to his feet.

“ Let’s move on to the next part shall we?”, after smoothening out your skirt of you he held out his hand and your need for release took over all rhyme and reason so you put one of your shaking hand in his. The next few moments were confusing as a white light enveloped both of your forms and by the time your vision returned you found yourself in an unknown room.

The place itself was nothing out of the ordinary, some books, a cupboard and a vanity. The single bed near the curtained window was properly made. It was clearly not Satoru’s room but the neatness of the place also suggested that it wasn’t an unused room either.

“ Hey we’re are we?”, you question the white haired male when he casually made his way to switch on the lights.

“Don’t worry we’re still in the academy premises, you wanted to finish this right? And I didn’t wanted to go another second with hearing your pretty voice, so you can scream now,” his voice dangerously low, he held your arms in both of his hands and guided you to the single bed in the corner.

“ and I didn’t meant that as a request”, flat on your back you had no time for further questioning as your exposed cunt got filled to the brim in a single thrust. The stretch made you cry out and remembering Satoru’s previous warning you didn’t bother covering your mouth. The light in the room was enough for him to see all of you, even if he had all of you memorized at the back of since the first time.

Your twisted face that you’d consider ugly was nothing if not arousing to him from the kneeling position of his at the edge of the bed, endearing even at how the side of your eyes well up everytime he fucked you so hard, the creaking of the bed acted as a proof of his brutal pace that threatened to break the furniture.

Each powerful thrust of his made your entire body lurch from its position, your juices flowed endlessly down your thighs, on Satoru’s cock and down to the sheets. Your voice ricocheted off the walls and gave life to the entire building.

Having your orgasm cut off before, the anticipation that had build up made your upcoming release feel even ore intense. Your walls started clenching around his shaft, already feeling waves of ecstasy you waited for it to reach its peak.

“ Y/n...Come for me”, in between his grunts he placed on of his hand on the side of your head, lowering himself till your noses touched. Breaths intermingling, you came with a loud cry of his name. Euphoria spreaded through both of your bodies making a gush of liquid come out of your pussy when Satoru pulled out, both of your mess soiled the sheet.

Few minutes of silence passed by as a fully clothed Satoru sat beside you, stroking your head until you calmed down.

“ Hey y/n?”, abruptly his cheeky tone filled the room and you looked up at him questioningly,

“ Wanna take a pic? ya'know, as a momento”, the odd question made you come to an obvious conclusion, which now seemed obvious considering your boyfriend’s not so secret rebellious nature and with how much of a brat he can be it was nothing short of hilarious.

“ It’s Lisa’s room isn’t it?”, barely controlling your laughter you tried to pry an answer out of him, the soothing motion of his hands never coming to a stop he took out his phone with another.

“ Yeah, it is, I’d say it’s an excellent way of showing her our ‘bond’ dontcha think?”, his cringey answer made you burst into laughter. The first real smile he’d seen on your face since you got here was something Satoru wanted to be a constant thing, always there when he wanted to see it just like a still photograph.

Bending his face down his lips softly met your forehead and before you could open your eyes back up you heard the click of the camera go off.

“ Heh, so how is it?”, propping yourself up on your elbows you tried to peak at the screen but it was pulled out of sight just as quickly.

“ It’s perfect”, with a warm smile that reached all the way to his eyes Satoru put his phone down before peering into your eyes, “and it’s mine”.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen smut #smut #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru #jjk oneshot #jujutsu kaisen scenario #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo smut #my writing

481 notes · View notes

sambvcks · 3 years

Text

redefined, b.b. x reader

summary: just because those ten words no longer wreak havoc on his mind does not mean they are gone. just redefined.

warnings: mentions of food, blood, gunshot wound

word count: 3.7k....whoops

author’s note: first standalone! i’m also itching to work on a sam story next. the last episode still lives in my mind rent free and this is a reworking of that which diverges from civil war and we get one big happy avenging family that aren’t dead :)

[ read on ao3 | masterlist | inbox | join my taglist! ]

Longing

An Avenger.

The concept was still so foreign to Bucky, despite dozens of successful missions under his belt and a permanent residence in the tower. Still, every morning he sprung up in bed expecting to still be in some run-down apartment halfway across the world, on the run.

Instead, he would awake on a plush mattress that offered little back support. He would shuck on the first shirt his bleary eyes could see and pad into the hallway, the smell of fresh coffee overtaking his superhuman sense of smell. You would be perched at the kitchen counter, pouring over mission files stained with coffee rings that Tony would later complain about.

Steve and Sam would have already come through on their way to their morning run, the coffee pot running dangerously low. You’d already placed his favorite mug nearby, two packets of sugar emptied into the bottom. A routine.

Bucky didn’t think he’d ever have a routine again.

His hand would press against your shoulder in a familiar greeting as he passed, you’d grin up at him with sleepy eyes and a lazy smile before returning to your work. Your cereal sat forgotten beside you, the overly sweetened kid’s choice growing soggy.

It was a silent and comfortable interaction. Neither worked to fill the quiet or felt the need to. Even with Steve, there was always talking and planning and ‘what about this’. With you, it was so natural to just exist how he was in that moment. No excuses, no whispered apologies.

He pushed his back against the sink as he sipped at his coffee, eyes immediately settling on your distracted figure. Your pajamas were wrinkled, mouth formed into a perfect concentrated from as you hunched uncomfortably, hand scribbling furiously. He swallowed and decided you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen, especially with your coffee breath and fingernails chewed to nubs.

He wanted so desperately to move across the kitchen and press himself perfectly against you, to push aside your paperwork and demand your sole attention. His hand clenched into a fist as he longed to feel your soft, round cheeks in his hands, how warm you would feel against the cool metal of his left and how you’d nuzzle closer still.

He hadn’t heard the dragging footsteps of Steve and Sam returning from their run and didn’t even notice them until they were settled at the doorway, watching him watch you.

“Morning.” Steve grinned, all knowing. Bucky cleared his throat and refocused on his mug.

“Morning.” Bucky replied with a look that said ‘don’t say anything’.

Rusted

Bucky learned that if you weren’t cooped up in your room or camped out on the kitchen island, you were tucked away in Tony’s garage. On slow days where it seemed everyone was off in their own little world, Bucky would know to find you under the hood of one of Tony’s vintage cars, each kept in pristine condition, but you claimed that ‘there’s always something to work on’.

Bucky was never a car guy. His family was too poor to even think of ever owning his own car. He didn’t even have his own license and technically couldn’t legally ride his bike either. He found out quickly that being an Avenger meant the term legal could be bent a bit. So, he wasn’t a car guy. But the sight of you with streaks of grease across your face and your raggedy workshop clothes would have him buying one just to see you work on it.

You were notoriously protective of your little hideaway, the music loud and the sound of metal ringing as you fixed and fiddled with every little thing. Steve nearly got a wrench to the face when he tried to distract you from Tony’s antique Chevy.

Bucky was different, though. He was always different.

He would sit himself on a tall stool positioned next to one of Tony’s many rolling tool chests. You’d call out a tool and he’d rifle through the collection until he found what he thought was the right one and only slightly tease him when he’d emerge with the wrong one. Typically, you’d spend these afternoons in silence, the thumping of the heavy base of whatever crazy metal album you picked the only soundtrack to your work.

Sometimes, though, you’d play gentle rock music. Bucky would ask questions on what you were doing, how you learned to do all of this, why you did it when Tony worked on these cars enough for the both of you.

You’d fish your rag from your pocket, concentrating on scrubbing the grease from under your fingernails as you answered.

“I like using my hands. I like fixing things. For every car that Tony has in this garage, there are hundreds just like it sitting in junkyards gathering cobwebs and rust.” You looked up at him from under eyelashes and Bucky knew you were speaking about much more than just hunks of metal. “They’re worthy of love and care.”

You were talking about him, too.

Seventeen

Bucky didn’t think this superhero business would have so many parties. There seemed to be a celebration for everything. Galas, fundraisers, full on parades whenever Tony happened to wake up in a good mood.

At least this one is a holiday, he thought to himself as he nursed his third beer of the hour. Not that it did anything other than keep his hands occupied.

The year was coming to a close, and the top floor of the Avengers Tower was decked in golden confetti and banners to ensure no one forgot. The music was obnoxiously loud, and the lyrics made little sense, but everyone seemed to be having a good time mingling and even venturing to the dance floor.

No matter how many times Sam tried to drag him in with an invisible rope, Bucky was not going to dance. Well. Maybe he would if you asked.

The party had been in full swing for hours now, with only ten minutes until the ball a few blocks up finally dropped and he could sneak away to his room without a teasing ‘bedtime already, old timer?’ from Nat.

Still, the party raged on and he eyed the glass door to the balcony. He downed the last of his beer, brushing past enthusiastic partygoers with his shoulders hunched forward in some attempt to minimize the space he took up in the room that only seemed to be getting smaller. He caught Steve’s eye on the way out and plastered on a smile in response to his disappointed look.

He let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding as soon as the glass door slid closed behind him. His eyes closed as he leaned back against it, the chill of the December New York air blew his hair in every direction.

“Fancy meeting you here.” You were sat in the far corner, so well hidden he hadn’t even noticed you, though he had been on the lookout for you all night. “Tired of the festivities?”

“And Tony’s music.” He grumbled as he fell into the seat beside you.

“Been waiting for you for the past thirty minutes. Honestly, you made it a lot longer than I could’ve in there.”

You were waiting for him. You wanted him to be there, with you, tucked away from everyone else’s prying eyes. He wanted that, too. Sometimes he wanted it so much it scared him.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, doll. It’s not polite for a gentleman to make a girl wait.”

“Hmm, I think I’ll find it in myself to forgive you.” Your shoulder pressed against his, eyes focused on the smattering of buildings surrounding you. Identical parties were happening in each of them, you were sure. “Can you believe another year is gone?”

“I can’t believe I’m about to make it to 2017 and my back hasn’t given out yet.”

You laughed, loud and unabashedly in a way only Bucky could make you laugh. Head thrown back and eyes glittering from the city lights, Bucky wanted to spend every new year you would allow him to by your side, trying his best to make you laugh again.

“Well,” You stood to peer over the glass railing, Bucky close behind you. You could hear the drunken cries inside as the countdown begun. “I’m glad you did.”

“Me too.” Bucky offered his hand to you. You took it easily.

5, 4, 3…

He wanted nothing more than to pull you close, to finally press a kiss on the lips that had thrown teasing remarks at him during missions. To once and for all end this little dance you both loved so much. But you looked so perfect.

Bucky wasn’t ready to ruin that perfection with everything wrong with him quite yet.

“Happy 2017, Bucky.” You whispered as the fireworks started, but Bucky couldn’t pull his eyes from you.

“Happy 2017, doll.”

Daybreak

The mission had been long and grueling. The week-long stakeout turned into two and quickly turned into a month away. You can’t remember the last time you’d had a good night of sleep that wasn’t interrupted with Bucky’s hand on your shoulder, telling you it was your turn to keep watch.

It wasn’t a horrible mission, more of an exercise in patience and restraint than anything. Bucky’s stories kept you entertained enough, and he was a good partner. Which is why you were paired together more often than not.

Still, it was nice to finally collapse into your familiar bed, not even bothering to kick of shoes or take a much-needed shower. Your sleeping schedule was all out of whack and you tossed and turned, despite the exhaustion seeping through your bones.

After fifteen minutes, you finally huffed a sigh of defeat and stumbled back to your feet. You showered, which was a few good days overdue, and dressed in your largest, most comfortable pajamas.

You weren’t surprised to see Bucky up as well, sitting at the dining table with a mug of fresh coffee.

“Couldn’t sleep?” His foot kicked out the seat beside him as an invitation.

“Sleeps overrated, anyways.” You shrugged, slumping into the seat and pressing your face into the cool glass of the table.

“Sleep is good for you.” He insisted, reaching forward to brush aside the hair that had curtained over your face. “You deserve a good night’s rest.”

“So do you, Buck.”

He stayed silent for a while, just sipping at his coffee and stealing glances at you, face trained out the floor to ceiling windows. He really didn’t know what he deserved, anymore. Sure, he had made some semblance of peace with what the Winter Soldier had done with his body. He was better, that was certain.

Worthy of you and all your unwavering sweetness? He wasn’t so sure.

You idly chatted about nothing for hours, filling comfortable silence with talks of the mission and the food poisoning he had given you when he tried to make dinner two weeks in. You sat side by side until day broke the next morning, eyes squinting at the sun peeking over skyscrapers and finally finding the need to fall shut in rest.

“I guess I should say ‘good morning’ instead of ‘good night’.” You were the first to stand, shuffling towards the hallway that led to your bedroom.

“Good morning.” He answered as you padded away, deciding he would be just fine losing sleep every night if it meant he could watch the sunrise by your side.

Furnace

“Doesn’t Tony make enough money to keep this place at least habitable?” You grumbled as you fell into the couch beside Bucky.

“I’m fine.”

Bucky sat in his patent jeans and t-shirt, unphased by the temperature that practically had your teeth chattering. You were bundled in multiple layers, including one of the many sweatshirts he’d wear jogging on cold mornings and blankets you had stolen off his bed. Your glare from under your cocoon of warmth rivaled even his.

“I’m not a muscle-y super soldier-”

“You think I’m muscle-y?”

“-that runs so hot you’re basically a personal furnace.”

“Oh, so now I’m hot.”

“I would strangle you to death right now, but I’m about to lose my fingers to hypothermia.” You burrowed further into your smattering of blankets with a violent chill running down your spine. Bucky simply rolled his eyes and marked the spot in the book he had been reading before you stormed in.

“C’mere.”

He balled up a fistful of one of your blankets, tugging you even closer to him. You opened your arms to allow for direct contact, sighing contently as your face pressed into his shoulder and legs tangled with his. You sighed contently as you welcomed his warmth, shimmying as close as you could get.

“Better?”

“The best.”

Nine

“Do you ever think what your life would be like? If you’d gotten to go home?”

Even a year ago, this question would have turned Bucky into a brooding mess. He would have delved into every little moment he had missed, every plan that had been turned upside down when he fell from that train all those years ago. But he was better now, more contemplative. He wouldn’t drown in the idea of what could have been because he knows what it’s like to be on the other side.

“I like to think I would’ve gone to college.”

“Really?”

“You calling me dumb, doll?”

“No! You’re the smartest person I know. I’m just picturing you at college. Carrying textbooks and wooing all the dames.” You fell into him at the thought, a fake swoon overtaking your face.

“I’d be too busy studying for dames.”

“Studying what?”

“I always liked math. Maybe engineering or something. Wanted to be a teacher before the draft.” He shrugged like the information was no big deal, but to you it was everything.

“Professor Barnes. Kind of sexy.”

“Oh, shut up.” But his words held no malice. Instead, he was grinning that cheeky grin that pulled his cheeks into perfect rosy apples and his eyes crinkled in joy. “I wanted to have ten kids.”

“Ten?!”

“So we’d be a dozen. My own little army of mini-Buckys to take over the world. Couple sets of twins, maybe. Definitely as many girls as I could manage.”

Of course Bucky would be a girl-dad. Playing dress-up for fake tea parties and scaring off boys when they’d come ‘round for first dates. You could imagine how he’d learn how to take care of their hair and plait intricate braids when they asked. He would make breakfast for the whole bunch, kiss his wife goodbye before escorting them to the bus stop and taking off for a day of teaching classes. Bucky would be an amazing father.

An amazing husband, too.

“I think ten may be pushing it, Barnes.”

Bucky pictured it, too. A little more modern than maybe the image you conjured up. Teaching was replaced with small missions. The gaggle of kids were smaller, and he wouldn’t have to kiss his wife goodbye. You’d be in the car next to him, headed to the tower for your morning briefings together.

“I’ll settle for nine.”

Benign

If you were to ask any New Yorker what they think the Avengers do on Friday afternoons, they would probably say something like ‘kicking ass!’. None would get even close to what your actual routine looked like.

None would imagine The Winter Soldier lounging in a bathrobe, hair knotted into a bun at the top of his head as his fellow world-saving Avenger spread some green goop over his face. Chinese takeout boxes littered the living room coffee table, his feet were bubbling in warm foot spa.

“To keep your youthful complexion!” You had promised him. He didn’t comment on the obvious sound of your phone’s camera clicking.

He knew he must have looked completely ridiculous. But as you sunk into the couch next to him with identical spa treatments covering you, he couldn’t find it in himself to really care.

He never thought in a million years that he would have the chance of boring, completely benign afternoons. He thought he would be sidelined to violent missions for the rest of his life, to being thawed out like a microwave meal every time he was deemed useful. Sure, he felt a bit ridiculous when you reached over to adjust the slices of cucumber placed over his eyelids, but he also felt so relaxed.

As you settled even closer to him, head tilting to rest on his shoulder, he would happily take the teasing remarks from Sam when you showed him the pictures.

Homecoming

Peter wasn’t crazy about the idea of getting ready for his senior year homecoming dance at the tower. But Aunt May was upstate on vacation with Happy and he still didn’t know how to tie a tie.

“Oh, you look so handsome, Peter!” You gushed as your fingers worked on his tie. Bucky stood to the side, holding MJ’s corsage in a delicate plastic container. Peter had been careful to find the perfect color, with a little guidance from you. The white dahlias matched perfectly with Peter’s light green tie.

“Thanks, Ms. (Y/L/N).”

Peter, ever the polite kid.

“Be safe, kid. Have her home at a reasonable time and no wandering hands.” Bucky handed over the corsage with a supportive slap to Peter’s shoulder. He was quick to promise that he would follow all the rules before making a dash to the door, just as you were about to ask for pictures.

“Don’t wait up!” He called as the elevator dinged behind him.

“They grow up so fast.” You sniffled. “I didn’t even go to my homecoming dances.”

“Why not?”

“Nobody ever asked me.” You shrugged, collecting the other ties Peter had picked from and hanging them carefully over your arm. Tony didn’t have to know that Peter was taking one of his priceless Versace neckties to a homecoming dance.

“To be fair, I would’ve been scared shitless to ask you to a dance.” Bucky followed close behind. “And I fought a war.”

“That’s sweet, Buck.” You brushed him off as you retreated into Tony’s closet.

“No, really.” His hand caught your elbow. “I would’ve been the luckiest guy in town if I had you on my arm.”

You fell asleep that night imagining you and Bucky twirling around a dance hall without a care in the world.

One

Steve’s hand was firm against your shoulder, his tactical glove soaked and dripping with your blood. Your eyes were unfocused, head lulling every so often when the fight to keep it steady just seemed too difficult. Sam was at your other side, cracking jokes to try to keep your attention on him and not of the literal bullet lodged in your shoulder.

You were escorted from the jet in a flurry, doctor’s hands replacing Steve’s. You barely winced when you were administered painkillers and the ache begun to subside. Before you could blink, you were lifted onto a gurney in the medical bay and the clink of the bullet that had been dug from your flesh rang through the room as it clattered into a metal dish.

Bucky ran in just as the doctor finished maneuvering a long roll of gaze around your shoulder, scheduling a time for you to return to have it cleaned and reapplied again.

“What happened?” He brushed past the doctor without a second glance, eyes trained on your figure pressed against the sterile hospital bed. “Steve said-”

“It’s nothing. Steve likes to be dramatic.”

“-that you were shot!”

“Oh, well. Yeah, that happened.” You moved to sit up, your arm immediately giving out under the weight. Bucky moved even closer to help you, hand careful on your back like you were made of glass. “But just the one time.”

“As far as I’m concerned, one is too many.” He watched the gauze turn darker against your skin; your eyes screwed shut in pain as your knuckles turned white against the sheets. “And you’re never going on a mission without me again.”

Freight Car

“You’re free.”

He remembers those worlds so clearly, it’s like him and Ayo are still sat next to that crackling fire in Wakanda. He thought that had been it. He would never again worry about those ten phrases that erased Bucky Barnes and allowed a machine to emerge from his memory.

As he stole glances of you from the corner of his eye, shadowed by his unruly hair, he knew those words still very much existed in his mind.

They weren’t a means to an end, anymore. He didn’t have to grit his teeth and clench his fists to fight them off. They were new, now. He saw each of those words in you and realized just how important they are now they they’ve found a new meaning.

His love for you came easy.

One second, he was looking at his friend. She was looking back at him and he felt safe.

Your fingers brushed over his shoulder, where flesh turned to metal, and you looked away as though you hadn’t just made him fall in love with you with a single touch.

It took three years for Bucky to make a move. Another party, another escape plan to the balcony where you were waiting for him, like always. The last time you had found yourselves in that position, he had been too unsure. Too wary of what it would mean and if it was too soon.

Now, he didn’t care. He just wanted you and to be selfish and not think about consequences when he leaned forward and finally pressed his lips to yours.

You pulled back, but not far.

Something clicked.

Your love for him hit you like a freight car. Swooping in from nowhere but really, you should have felt the rattling of the tracks beneath your feet. You should have seen all the signs that you loved him and he loved you back. In stolen glances and easy afternoons, in hard missions and bloodshed. He was there, and he looked at you like that. Like everything his body had done was to finally make it to you in this moment.

He waited, patient. He had waited this long, what was another few seconds as the realization washed over your features?

“Oh.” Was your clever whisper.

“Yeah.” Bucky’s hands cradled your face, “Took you long enough.”

taglist: @bibliophilewednesday @teti-menchon0604 @thiswasnevermylifefromtony @spid3rgwen @beautyandthebleh @victoriabaker112213 @orthellqs @phasma-trash

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes/you #bucky barnes/reader #marvel imagine #tfatws imagine #sab writes

187 notes · View notes

t-lostinworlds · 4 years

Text

My Best Girl (Tom Holland)

a/n: this was supposed to be short and sweet yet here we are asdfghjkl i mean it’s still short but 2k isn’t necessarily a blurb ahah. this was written fairly quick but i hope you guys still enjoy it!

pairing: tom holland x female!reader trope/genre: slight angst & fluff summary: You hear people gossip in the bathroom about how Tom looks so good and how you basically don’t reach his level. warnings: not proofread, tom being a wholesome boyfriend, slightly steamy ending word count: 2.3k+ requested:

prompts: ~ “Talk to me.” ~ “You deserve so much better.”

masterlist in bio & pinned post

-:-:-:-:-

Galas or fancy parties have never been your thing, especially when they're littered with too many celebrities. Some of them are nice of course, sweet and kind, but some are a bit much, stuck in their own little bubble of fame. It was just the constant thing of one upping each other, who has the most expensive dress, which island did they visit just recently, whose yacht were they invited to, and so on.

It was not your crowd, at all. Yet here you were in a floor-length, black sleeveless dress, a V-neckline to match the low back and a high slit to show off your leg and your silver heels. The fabric was hugging you in all the right places while a strong arm was wrapped around your waist, warm fingers sometimes grazing the skin on the small of your back as you smile at this well-known producer who your boyfriend just introduced you to.

Your boyfriend who happens to be world renowned actor, Tom Holland.

"I need to use the bathroom," you whispered into Tom's ear, the lad cutting his conversation off briefly to meet your gaze, a charming smile on his lips and a loving glow in his eyes.

"Okay. I'll be right here," he hummed, giving your cheek a sweet kiss and your waist a gentle squeeze before he lets you go.

After asking around the staff for a minute you've finally reached the bathroom. You pushed the door open to find it completely empty which was a relief. You just didn't want to deal with any more gossiping or encounter any more "high class" people. You went inside one of the stalls and locked the door shut. Although, you didn't get a chance to even do your business when you heard three pairs of heels click against the tiled floor. You wouldn't have entertained it until they started to exchange words about a certain man.

"Have you seen how good Tom Holland looked?" one of them said, a sense of pride coursing through you because your man does look so good tonight, that until the same girl spoke again. "Do you think I could snatch him up for tonight?"

"Well he's got his girlfriend attached to his hip so your chances are close to none," a second voice spoke.

"That was his girlfriend?" the first one gasped exaggeratedly.

"No way, I thought it was his PA," a third girl said with a laugh.

"What a shame, he deserves someone who can actually match him," the first girl sighed.

"Someone who at least could afford a proper designer dress," the third one said.

All three of them laughed at that.

"I bet I could still get his number despite the girlfriend. I could just get him alone," the first one hummed, giggling to herself as if it was the best things she's said in her life.

Finally having enough, you fixed up your dress, took a deep breath to calm yourself before opening the stall door and walking out with your chin up. All three sets of eyes followed you as they immediately quieted down. Only brave behind the back, always cowards face to face.

You shot them each a wide smile through the mirror as you turned the faucet on to wash your hands. The three of them tried to return it but their lips only twitched as they stared at you in shock.

"With all the classy make-up and elegant dresses you'd think it would at least taint your personalities no? Be ladies with a bit of class and elegance but huh," you paused, rinsing off the soap and then turning the water off before grabbing some paper towels to dry of your hands. "What a shame," you tutted with a shake of your head, shooting them a sympathetic smile through the mirror. None of them spoke a single word as you threw away the paper towel and started towards the door with your head held high.

Before you grabbed the door handle, you turned back to them with a tight lip smile. "Oh, and this dress is worth more than all of you combined with how cheap your personalities are." You pulled the door open, though stopped midway through the doorway to look at them over your shoulder. "Words of advice, try and go for the single men, ladies, and maybe you'll get lucky. Although not guaranteed if you're a bit...desperate. Have a great night. I know I will, especially later with my man," you said with a smirk, throwing them a wink at the end of your sentence to properly get the point across.

But the moment you stepped out of the bathroom you felt your knees weaken, breathing turning heavy, tears burning in your orbs as you tried your best to keep them at bay until you were out from prying eyes. The words they've said have always been sitting in the back of your head, how Tom could leave you so quickly for someone who was up to his level. Someone more gorgeous, someone with a high status, someone who could actually match him in terms of looks and just overall fame. And hearing those words be said out loud, to hear them from actual strangers, it only makes them more real, the insecurities that's always been nagging in your brain. It only makes them more painful.

You rushed back out into the ballroom, holding your composure as best as you could. Tom was still in his place as promised, talking to the same person he did just minutes ago before you went and excused yourself.

"Tom," you croaked out when you got to him, not meaning your voice to sound weak the way it did. But it was already too late for you to try again when your boyfriend's eyes immediately snapped to look at you. Tom knows you like the back of his hand, one change in the tone of your voice and he immediately will notice that something was up.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he turned to face you fully, his hand coming up to cup your cheek so you had no choice but to look at him in the eyes. Tom's worry only grew some more when he saw your orbs glossed up with tears, features coated by nothing but utter panic.

"I'm going to go ahead and get back to the hotel room," you whispered. "You can stay—"

"No, if you want to go, then we're going now," he said firmly.

"But—"

Tom didn't give you any time to finish your sentence when he turned back to the producer he was talking to. "I'm so sorry but we need to get going. It was nice meeting you sir. I'll have my agent send you the details. Thank you so much," Tom said, offering his hand out to which the man shook with a smile, not at all minding that their conversation got cut short.

And with that, Tom took your hand in his and swiftly but gently guided you out of the ballroom.

"You didn't have to leave with me," you muttered as you both made your way back to the elevators, thankful that your hotel room was in the same building.

"No, but I wanted to. The night was getting long anyway," Tom reassured with a squeeze of your hand.

You stayed silent on the way up and even after you're inside the room. Tom's frown could only deepen when you sat at the edge of the bed with a shaky breath.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" he asked as he locked the door. You ignored him completely, hands gripping tightly at the fabric of your dress, keeping your head down as you tried to keep your breathing steady and your raging thoughts at bay, but much to no use.

"Talk to me," Tom said softly, frown deep on his lips as he slowly moved over to your shaking form. He crouched down in front of you, hands landing on your knees as he searched for your eyes but all you did was hide your face behind your palms. "Darling," he tried again, but still, you didn't even bother looking up.

Tom took it upon himself to pry your hands gently away from your face and letting his fingers intertwine with yours. His heart broke when you looked at him with nothing but utmost sadness and hurt, tears running freely down your cheeks as you whispered,

"You deserve so much better."

"Okay, who the fuck told you that," Tom growled, but you only frowned deeply at his reaction because you knew, with one look in his eyes that his anger wasn't directed at you. It was at whoever planted that thought inside your head.

"No one—"

"Y/N," Tom warned.

"Nobody told me it directly. I just heard some girls in the bathroom saying how much you're way out of my league and how I looked like some assistant when I'm beside you and they are right Tom. I can't wear any designer clothes or any expensive dresses to look at least presentable when I'm with you. I can't match how handsome you are because I look nothing like those models or those actresses—"

"Darling, have you even seen yourself tonight?" Tom cut you off, shaking his head in disbelief as he furrowed his brows. "Have you seen how many guys I've been trying to wave off of you? Have you ever wondered why I've never let you go even in the slightest? Why I kept an arm around you or a hand on your back at all times?"

You shook your head no with a frown, not really getting where he was going with this.

"Babe, you stole the whole room! They were so drawn to you all the damn time like fucking moths to a flame and I was getting so fucking annoyed at them for always staring at you like that," Tom said through gritted teeth, closing his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath and calm himself before his gaze landed back on you. He flashed you a bright, genuine smile as he gave your hand a squeeze. "But I also felt so proud because fuck yeah, look at how fucking gorgeous my girlfriend is. Look at how lucky I am to have her with me and guess what? Get wrecked 'cause all you lot can do is stare at her while I get to hold her in my arms and call her mine."

You didn't have a chance to response when Tom suddenly stood up to his full height, pulling you with him and away from the bed as he walked backwards. You followed him with brows furrowed in confusion, but he only flashed you a charming grin.

"To be honest you're the one who's way out of my league, I mean look at you," Tom paused just as he stopped moving, stepping to the side until you were face to face with yourself in the floor length mirror. "Look how fucking beautiful you are! Those girls are just jealous because my god love, you make my fucking heart explode!" he exclaimed, gesturing towards your reflection in the mirror. You tilted your head at him with a pout, fresh sets of tears coating your eyes but for a different reason this time. Tom sighed as he moved back to stand in front of you, one hand landing on your hips as the other went on your cheek.

"I don't deserve someone better you know why?" he hummed, brown eyes boring into your own. "Because you are already the best girl I could ever have in my life." Tom pressed his forehead against yours, giving your hip a loving squeeze before he lifted his hand up so he could cup your face lovingly with both hands. "You are my best, most gorgeous and amazing girl with a heart of gold to match. I couldn't possibly find someone better than you my love and fuck whoever thinks otherwise," he finished, nothing but utmost sincerity coating his voice and swimming in his eyes, words doing nothing but make you heart grow ten times its size.

Your bottom lip trembled as you stared at him all teary eyed, leaning even closer until you were able to capture his lips in yours, to let him feel through the kiss just how grateful you are of him. Tom hummed at the feeling, his hands sliding down your bare arms until he rested them on the small of your back, welcoming your kisses as he pulled you even closer to him.

"I love you," you whispered against his lips, fingers getting lost in his styled hair, tugging at them playfully making him let out a soft groan.

"And I love you so much, darling," he muttered, giving your bottom lip a soft nibble before he suddenly pulled away. One you met his eyes again, that's when you saw how they were already a shade darker than before.

Tom shot you a wide smirk before he pulled away completely, walking around you until he stood right behind, one hand taking home on your waist as the other went to hold your chin gently, turning your head to look back in front so you were once again face to face with yourself, right in the mirror.

He met your eyes through the floor-length mirror, his grin wide and mischievous as he ran his fingers down your spine, goosebumps erupting on your skin. You suck in a breath as he took hold of the zip on your dress right as he sucked on that sweet spot on your neck he's already memorized. He pulled the zip down gently, the fabric going lose around your body as you kept eye contact with him through the mirror. Tom hooked his fingers on the straps of your dress, slowly pulling them off your shoulders and down your arms until it pooled at your feet, exposing you to the cold air of the room. With his voice deep and husky, Tom growled lowly against your ear,

"Now, enough talk and let me show you just how beautiful you are."

~~~

>> come say hi and send some in!

-:-:-:-:-

♛ Overall/Everything Taglist: @theunwantedomega @vinylmendes @fallinfortom @disneysamara @avengersficwriter @musicalkeys @apatheticanvas67482 @camimndess @tom-hlover @jjandreidsgirl ♛ Tom H. Taglist: @hollandfanficlove @averyfosterthoughts @2018shawn @darlingspidey @namoreno @spacebitch2 @hollanddolanfangirl @keepingupwiththehollands @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @unbelievableholland @kittenruby @sunkisseddreamer @worldoftom @quaksonhehe @big-galaxy-chaos @clara-licht @dummiesshort @imanativeofswlondondahling @sonofabitchstyles @perspectiveparker @geminiparkers @parker-hollandx @arivera-30 @rebekkah4766 @particularnarry @iwannabekilledtwice @prettyintopeerpressure @fancyxholland

just lemme know if you want to be removed from the taglist loves <3

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland reader insert #tom holland x reader #tom holland one shot #tom holland writing #tom holland request #tom holland oneshot #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland x female reader #tom holland x you

859 notes · View notes

ssscentral · 3 years

Text

Devil like you

Summary: Your boyfriend has a revelation about who - or what - he really is as he invites over a friend to have some earth-shattering, toe-curling, out of this world fun with you.

Pairing : Demon!Namjoon x Reader x Demon! Jimin

Genre : Smut. Pure filth. It be dirty.

Warnings : Threesome, Demon summoning, Overstimulation, Swearing, Restraints, Surprise your boyfriend is a demon, Dom!Namjoon, Dom!Jimin, Sub!Reader, Light Edging, Dirty Talking, Oral Sex (f and m), Fingering

WC : 5.5k

Member : Duda || @biaswreckme

A/N : Hope you enjoy reading this, i’m quite proud of it :v It’s my first AU for BTS, so be gentle T.T This fic is the second part of the group prompt “Hell of a Ride”, each part with our own interpretation, so stay tuned because there is more to come! Any similarities with Supernatural are not coincidental, thank you Spn wikis for the words in Latin and the inspiration for some of the abilities of these demons. And thanks so much @fluffy-fluffu for being the beta ♥

taglist: @sugasbabiie

—————

You thought you should have known. You thought you should have seen the signs – and there were quite a few, thinking back on your relationship. It should not have surprised you like this. It should not have affected you like this. It should not make you wish for more, waiting for the next time it would happen. It should not… you should not… you should not want this as much as you did, right?

You should have seen it coming. It should not have caught you off guard like that, after all, who teaches this language with this much ease and what seems like almost natural and native knowledge? That should have been the first sign to strike your attention. He was not the first Latin professor in the language department at this university, but he was the best. But this department has a lot of languages, and Latin is part of the curriculum for some of the other languages. It was not weird to have a Latin professor. It was weird to have someone as hot as Namjoon teaching Latin. Hot, gods, you sound like a teenager again talking about boys and crushes. But yes, Kim Namjoon, one of the hottest teachers in the university – and it is a big one – teaches a dead language.

So when he asked you, the English teacher – not the only one in the department and you did not consider yourself to be one of the best-looking teachers there – out on a date, you said yes. It had been a while for you, issues with an ex left you being cautious about entering new relationships. It made you pay more attention to certain red flags, but there were none with Namjoon, at least not like those from before.

Kim Namjoon was considerate. Kim Namjoon was creative with his dates. Kim Namjoon was a romantic man, one that had you indeed feeling like a teenager dating for the first time, sneaking around the empty halls and classrooms, the butterflies in your stomach wild and making you giggle at the mere thought of him. Kim Namjoon paid attention to you and your problems. Kim Namjoon listened. And Kim Namjoon was great when it came to sex. Great actually did not really translate how incredible and mind-blowing sex with him was. He knew how to do things to your body like no one ever could before. He suggested some things – some kinky, oh, very kinky things indeed – to spice up the sex that you had only fantasized about but never had the courage to ask for, and he did not judge anything. It was almost as if his mission in bed was to give you utmost pleasure, even if it hurt sometimes – but it always hurt so good. Kim Namjoon was the perfect boyfriend. Maybe too perfect, so you think to yourself that you had ought to know better. No one could be this perfect. There had to be an explanation. And there was. You just never would have imagined that it would be this explanation.

The day had started just like any other, there was nothing special about it, at least to your knowledge. So why, oh, why did it have to be on this day? (Maybe you could ask them later.) You woke up to your alarm, as usual. You love your job, but you always found it difficult to get up this early in the mornings, so you always made sure to set more than one alarm. You got up, had breakfast – “breakfast” is a very general word, but you do eat a piece of toast while the coffee machine warms up. You had a shower, just a quick one to truly wake you up and get you going before getting dressed in your usual teaching outfit. Namjoon would be coming over later, so you would have time to shower again and get dressed up for date night after getting back from the university. You grab a travel mug on the way out, pouring the hot coffee in it, the smell invading your apartment just as you like it.

The classes go on without any issue; a slight problem with the projector in the beginning but nothing out of the ordinary and that would strike one’s attention, especially if one was used to dealing with the projectors in that older building the languages and literature department was stuck with. You crossed paths with Namjoon once the entire day, walking down the hallways of the old building; you were getting out of an English literature class, Joon going to teach his Latin II group. As your bodies got closer, both of you nodded in acknowledgment as if you were any other professor, but your hands discreetly touched in passing, just a small sign you had agreed on to let the other know everything is okay, have a good class, I love you, I will be waiting for you later. You knew he was going out on a field trip with an advanced class and he would have to leave during lunch, so you ate a sandwich in your office, watching some comedy series to relax and get energized for the rest of the day – of course, the hot and new cup of coffee helps -, every once in a while, pausing to chat with the other professor who chose to do something similar. The afternoon is not really that different from other Friday afternoons; no one usually comes during office hours, so no one came on this day. You spent your time alternating between counting the minutes on the ticking clock to be able to go home and get ready for the date and responding to some emails, starting the term report, and downloading some articles to read. You were alone in the office, so you have some music going to help distract you and try to make the time go by faster.

When you finally got home the first thing you did was hop on the shower again, but now taking some time for yourself, phone blasting your favorite songs as you washed the day away from your body, cleaning, shaving what you wanted, moisturizing with some shower oils Namjoon gave you and that you know he loved the scent of. You spent some time choosing your outfit for the evening, knowing it had to be good. You opted for a white lace and silk playsuit, the new lingerie that Namjoon had recently given you, and you knew it had to be expensive from the brand – expensive and fancy lingerie was a guilty pleasure you had that somehow Namjoon was able to indulge, and you had no complaints about it. It gave you an almost innocent look under the black dress, and you were curious to see Namjoon’s reaction. You did not do much for hair and makeup, choosing instead to keep it quite simple and natural – it was only going to be ruined later on anyways.

Soon you heard the bell ring and you looked at the small monitor near the door, letting him in. His hair was slicked back, giving him an edge that was not present in day-to-day life at university. He had his earrings on and paired up with his silver-rimmed glasses and that black blazer made him look unbelievably hot and so different from the pristine almost clumsy-like image of Professor Kim. He kissed you, murmuring a hi in the kiss, letting his hands roam over your dress. He paused and stepped back enough to look at you.

“Are you wearing the new gift?”

It only took a nod from you to have him pressing you against the wall, hitching your leg up and around his waist. His hands took advantage of the position and touched your skin, going up your thighs and bunching up your dress in the way, giving him access to feel the lace and silk on your body.

“Fuck,” he paused, almost breathless, “fuck the reservation, right? I need you now.”

You nodded in affirmation, almost as out of breath as him, “Fuck the reservation, fuck me instead.”

He didn’t need anything else to press you even harder against the wall, hoisting both of your legs; you wrapped them around his body, and he pushed his hips into yours, you could feel how hard he already was. You moaned into the kiss, his hardness was right against where you needed it the most, and when he started slightly moving his hips into yours, it made his length deliciously drag against your clit. The feeling was also enhanced by the lingerie; every time Namjoon canted his hips up, it made the lingerie move up together and tug on your skin, and it did not take long until it was snugged between your nether lips and you were certain you were staining the front of Namjoon’s pants with your wetness as he started nibbling on your earlobe, sucking and kissing your neck, the skin caught between his teeth to make sure it would leave bruises. And then he let you go, dropping your legs from around his body.

“Do you trust me?” He looked into your eyes, seeming unsure, which was unlike him. You could swear that his eyes got darker for a brief moment – and not in the way writers usually describe, with eyes darkening with pleasure or something akin to that. No, it seemed that they physically turned darker, almost black, but you thought you must be imagining things. It could not be humanly possible.

“I trust you, Joon.” You said without any hesitation, fingers entangling with his and taking him in the direction of your bedroom.

He started by taking off his glasses and carefully putting them on the wooden nightstand, taking a minute to take off his blazer and carefully drape it over the piece of furniture. He then turned to you and you felt nervous, his walk almost predatory towards you. He gripped your shoulders, taking the straps of your dress into his hands, and it felt like he was considering just ripping the piece out of your body and your breath faltered. So this was the mood today. But he must have thought better and let his hands caress the front of your body, squeezing your breasts, his fingers then gliding over your clothed nipples, feeling them harder under his touch. His hands moved down, grabbing the edge of your dress in his fists and then lifted it up and off your body, and then you were there, standing in front of him, the white lace and silk that covered your skin seemed almost virginal when contrasted with the current mood. You bit your lip, looking at Namjoon, gaging his reaction, and you saw his eyes widen, a smirk crossing his lips, his tongue unconsciously poking out to lick his top lip. There was a different look in his eyes, one that you did not recognize at all, and you were getting slightly more nervous now. What did he have in store for you this time? You tried to think back to conversations you had, discussing ideas in between cuddles and kisses on the bed, after one of the times you had some passionate lovemaking, his eyes glued to yours the entire time, his body encompassing yours, protecting you. Not every time was kinky, but there was no doubt tonight was going to be. You took a deep breath and stepped forward, your fingers going to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them one by one, slowly, your fingers shaking in anticipation.

“Remember when we were talking about maybe having another person in the bedroom with us?”

His question took you by surprise, your fingers stopping mid-action, and you looked at him. “Yes?”

“You are going to learn some things about me tonight, Y/n, but you don’t need to be scared.” He grabbed your hands, intertwining your fingers and kissing them while looking into your eyes. “I promise everything will be okay, and I’ll answer all your questions later. Now I just want you to enjoy yourself.”

And ok, now you were worried, and he could see that in your face, so he brought you closer to his body, hugging you, and your arms tightened around his body.

“You don’t have to be scared, love. It can be scary, but have I ever hurt you?”

“Well…” you started, giggling at the double possibilities to answer his question.

“I’m talking about real harm, Y/n. And might I remind you, who asked to be spanked again?” He chuckled, shaking his head, the mood getting a little lighter. “I can’t promise it’s not going to frighten you at first but keep an open mind. You have your safeword, you can stop this at any time, no matter what.”

“Ok. I can’t promise I won’t fear whatever it is… because you are scaring me a little bit, Joon. But I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me like that.” You raised your head from where it was resting on his chest, looking into his eyes again, and this time you could not be mistaken. They were black. Like black black; you could not see any of the previous colors in his irises, even the sclera was taken over by the color, and it hit you. You took a quick step back, letting go of his body, shocked. Was… was this real?

“I’m still me,” his voice was soft and his hands raised by his sides in that universal sign of I’m not going to hurt you. “It’s always been me.”

“So you’re not… possessed?” you laughed in disbelief.

“No. It’s always been me,” he repeated, taking one step closer to you with one of his hands reaching out, and hesitantly you grabbed it. “Let me show you. I promise you will have a good time.”

Your body was still shaking with fear when you let yourself get closer to him, but his words were starting to reassure you, calm you. If he had always been like this and never harmed you, you would be okay, right? The fear and worry were slowly starting to give way to curiosity and some slight confusion when he started muttering some words under his breath. Now, you did not understand Latin – it was a dead language, come on –, but you were able to pick up that he was almost chanting in it, words like te invoco, spiritus, infernalis, and daemon being spoken with more intensity. He finished saying it and kissed you deeply, his arms encircling your body and pulling you to him, when you suddenly felt another presence behind you, a second body pressing against you, feeling a hard chest pressing you into Namjoon even more. You stopped the kiss, looking over your shoulder, and your eyes stumbled upon another black-eyed figure. This man, this demon, was shorter than Namjoon, but with the way the front of his body was glued to your back, you could feel he was just as muscular, maybe even more, from what you were feeling from his thighs. There were no words for his face. You thought Namjoon was handsome, but this man’s face was on a whole other level of beauty, with those rounded full lips that would give Namjoon’s a run for their money. If it were not for his black eyes you would dare say his face was angelic even, with his light-colored hair parted in the middle. But something about the smirk and raised eyebrows let you know that there was nothing angelic about him.

“Damn, Namjoon. You’ve been hiding her this entire time?” He almost growled, shifting his hips, and you felt the hardness in his pants. “If I’d known, I’d have come sooner.”

“And this is Jimin, Y/n,” he started, scoffing at his… friend? “Now close your eyes and let us take care of you.”

He did not wait for an answer from you, and at the same time his lips found yours, you felt Jimin’s lips on your neck and his hands on your waist, and you could only sigh, close your eyes, and give into these new sensations. The two pairs of hands were roaming your body; the contrast of their clothed bodies against yours, almost naked, was heightening the sensation of your powerlessness, and you had to press your thighs together in an attempt to bring some pressure to your center and relieve some of the aching. You could feel their smirks when you did it, and then Jimin’s hand traveled downwards and on the front of your body, his fingers sneaking under the lingerie to feel your wetness.

“Fuck,” his voice was almost strained, “she’s dripping, Namjoon.” His fingers went all over your mound spreading your wetness around, careful to not touch you for too long to tease you.

“Is this right, Y/n?” Namjoon asked against your lips, then tilted his head back to look at you, his hand joining Jimin’s. “I know you get wet for me, but if I had known you would be dripping like this, I would have brought Jimin much sooner.” He stated as his fingers toyed with the straps of your playsuit, slowly lowering them. “And you are wearing this, today of all days… all in white…”

Namjoon’s fingers teased your nipples lightly at first, just caressing them while Jimin slowly lowered the lingerie down your body, giving open-mouthed kisses to your back and lower and he went down on his knees behind you. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back and grabbing Namjoon’s biceps for balance when Jimin lifted your left feet first then the right, letting the playsuit fall to the ground off your body. You felt a pinch to your nipples, and you sighed, and shortly after you felt his tongue circling it, then his mouth sucking on it, tugging lightly with his teeth. You clenched your legs again, only for Jimin to spread them. You felt Jimin’s breath on your backside, and his hands made you arch your back so he could see you better from behind, but you felt nothing else but his warm breath very close to your center, his hands gripping your thighs from the inside to stop you from closing them. When Namjoon used the fatal combination of pinching down on a nipple harder and biting the other and sucking on it, Jimin chuckled.

“Do that again, Namjoon. She liked it, she just clenched down on nothing so hard.” His mouth was so close to you yet doing nothing, and to worsen the situation, he used his hands to help you spread your legs more. “Tilt your ass towards me, Y/n, I want to see you clench like that again.”

You did so without hesitation, arching your back more so he could see you better, and when Namjoon did it again, inverting touch and bite to the other nipple, you clenched again, needing their touch, needing something. And he combined pulling your nipple with his teeth with his other hand entangling in your hair and pulling it down hard, increasing your arch. You heard Jimin chuckle softly again and then his mouth was pressed to your inner thigh, licking upwards as he moaned, probably tasting the wetness that had started dripping. Namjoon was not being gentle anymore, using the amount of pressure and strength he knew you loved, much rougher than when you were making love, your nipples becoming more sensitive and abused under his ministrations. This moment, with his lips around your nipples, his teeth worrying them, while Jimin licked your thighs, was pure and unadulterated passion and desire. You let one of your hands fall to grab Jimin’s hair to try and direct him, but he let one of your thighs go to wrap his fingers around your wrist while he bit down on your thigh. You moaned in pain, but you loved it.

Your other hand moved from Namjoon’s biceps to the front of his shirt to undo the few buttons that were left, and he paused what he was doing to help you. When you went to unbutton his pants, you felt your arm being pinned to your back by the demon between your legs. You looked back and down, seeing Jimin licking his lips again while he got up. He pulled you against his body, murmuring that tonight was about you and not to worry about them. As he said these words, Namjoon’s long fingers undid his own pants, hooking them under his underwear to take them off at the same time. His erection slapped softly against his stomach, his cock long and thick, the bulbous head already a little wet with precum. He stepped out of his pants, his strong thighs flexing, and he came closer to kiss you again, letting you feel his hardness against your belly. He started to pull you towards the bed, turning your bodies so you could fall against the mattress with him on top, but he did not stay long. He got up, looking at Jimin, and raised his eyebrows.

“You look so innocent like this, wide-eyed looking at us about to devour you,” Jimin started, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, putting on a show for you.

The dark shirt Jimin was wearing opened to reveal toned muscles beneath, ones you had already felt against your back. His light purple hair was slightly messy from your attempt to grab it; his lips were turned up into a corner smile observing the way you were watching him. He let his hands caress down his body, feeling his own muscles, his luscious lips open now. One of his hands went to the button of his pants and the other grabbed his crotch, showing you the outline of his erection, and then he took the black garment off, and he was wearing no underwear. His hand went to his erection again, stroking himself up and down slowly, showing you his body and how proud he seemed of it. His cock was just as beautiful as the rest of him, the head a light pink color, and while he was thinner than Namjoon, he was just as long and curved upwards, and it made you wonder if he could hit that spot without much effort.

“We are going to destroy you, and you will take it all. You will be lying there on the bed, ruined, a sinner, and in the end, you will be begging for me to come back again and wreck you.” Jimin’s voice was deeper, his black eyes shining under the lights and the promise. And then he looked at Namjoon. “Have you done it yet?”

You looked confused for a moment, especially when Namjoon answered a no and Jimin chuckled. And then you understood. Jimin snapped his fingers and your arms were suddenly above your head, pressed on the pillow. You tried moving them but to no avail. Oh. Your chest went up and down quickly, your breath faster, but you smiled.

“Oh, this is new. Can you do it too, Joon?” You needed to know. Had he been hiding this from you this whole time? He licked his lips and snapped his fingers, and then your legs were up, an invisible force holding them up and wide open, spread apart for them. You bit your lip and clenched down on nothing, moaning softly, your head thrown back into the pillow. “This is fun.”

You smiled at them and saw them looking at each other smiling as well, but you could not even imagine what was going through their minds. Could they communicate like that? You had so many questions to ask Joon later, but before your mind could wander any further, your body was being dragged to the edge of the bed by Jimin, who was kneeling on the floor in front of it. You had never felt so exposed before and so without control, although you knew all you had to say was that one word and everything would end.

“She tastes delicious, Jimin. You’re going to love it.” Namjoon sat by you on the bed, looking down at the other man, and lowered his head to whisper in your ear, “you want to know another thing I’ve been hiding? We don’t get tired.”

Namjoon bit your earlobe at the same time that Jimin licked you where you needed the most, from bottom to top. You could only moan loudly and arch your back, your fingers closing into tight a fist and your thighs clenching, but you could not move them. You thought he would make you beg for it, considering all the teasing from before, but he wasted no time and started applying pressure to your clit with his soft tongue, short circular movements alternated with longer licks while his fingers kept your lower lips spread open for him. Unable to move, all you could do was take it, the pleasure intensified by your inability to move your legs; there was no escape from Jimin’s tongue on the underside of your clit, its hood up, leaving it exposed and so sensitive to his probing. While Jimin was doing this, Namjoon began playing with your nipples again. They were already hard and a little red from before, more sensitive, so when he started pinching them again the pain seemed to go straight down to your clit, enhancing your pleasure, and he seemed to know this. He became relentless in teasing them, pinching harder, lowering his body beside you to bite at them, tugging on your nipples and pulling them, letting his teeth scrape against the sensitive skin. Jimin’s tongue was also relentless on your clit, and the first time he felt you getting close to your orgasm, he stopped and looked at you.

“Please, please…” you sobbed and moaned; the desperation clear in your voice as Namjoon did not stop.

“Should we see if she can cum only by teasing her nipples?” Jimin’s voice was playful.

“No, please, please, no, please,” you begged.

“Oh, Namjoon, she begs so beautifully. But is it a no or is it a please, do it?” His tongue was between his teeth, his smile wider now, the look on his face pure teasing. You shook your head negatively, a sob caught in your throat, but he continued, “You’re clenching again, Y/n. I think you can do this. But maybe another day,” you let out a sigh in relief, “another day, when we will tease you for hours, edge you until even our breath will make you cum, how about that?”

Jimin wasted no more time and got back to licking you, making out with your pussy, encompassing it entirely with his mouth, and the moment his lips closed around your clit to suck it, you lost it. It took you by surprise; the sensation usually begins with a slight tingle on your belly, and then it spreads to your fingers, but this time your whole body clenched as pleasure overtook you, his tongue continuing to press on your clit while he sucked to prolong your orgasm. You did not know what sounds came out of your mouth, as your ears seemed to be ringing, numb to sounds. You could barely murmur out a weak stop, but he ignored it – which also relieved you, you did not really want to stop–, choosing to insert a finger and then two into you, moving them in and out at first and then pressing them upwards, looking for the spot inside you that made you see stars. You were about to say you were too sensitive for him to continue when he found it, and as you moaned loudly you heard Namjoon say something to him, but you couldn’t understand what it was, but Jimin’s response was to increase the pressure of his fingers and let your clit go. You were confused for a second but you soon understood when you felt one of Namjoon’s hands moving down, his fingers then making quick movements on your clit, knowing it was what you needed to get you there fast again. This time you felt the sensation growing, a tingling on the tips of your fingers, your toes, as it grew and permeated your entire body again. You thought they would relent, and then you remembered what Namjoon had said. They did not get tired.

You lost count after the fifth orgasm, or so you thought it was the fifth; your voice was hoarse from moaning and your clit was so sensitive from all of the overstimulation, and they did not seem like they wanted to stop anytime soon. You could feel the tears that had escaped your eyes wetting your cheeks, and every once in a while, one of them would lick them away while the other continued his assault on your clit, the pleasure relentlessly taking over you again and again. You did not know anymore when one orgasm ended and the other began, the tingling sensation a constant on your entire body. And then, finally, they snapped their fingers again, releasing your body from the invisible restraints.

You could barely move, but they helped shift and turn your body until you were on your hands and knees, Namjoon’s body behind you. You heard the sound of a small foil packet being opened, and then he was pressing inside you, his cock stretching you even though they had used their fingers before. It was always a stretch, Namjoon going in slowly, giving you time to adjust to his size before starting to thrust his hips into you. On his first thrust forward, you opened your mouth on a moan and Jimin took advantage of the opportunity to press his cock into your lips, holding your hair with one of his hands while the other was at the base of his cock, holding and moving it to go over your lips. You licked around his engorged head and then opened your mouth wider, taking him inside and sucking. You could barely keep your body upright, so soon your hands faltered, and you fell to your elbows, the dip in your spine changing the angle slightly and it had Namjoon pressing into that one spot that had you almost screaming. Jimin lowered his body, sitting down with his legs open to fit you between them, inclining his body backward, bending his elbows to have a good view of you, and it made it easier for you to suck him. His view was nice, your body bent forward, your ass being held by Namjoon’s hands while he pounded into you, but your view was not bad at all.

Jimin’s muscly thighs flexed each time he pressed his hips up, fucking into your mouth, his abs clenching, and his face… his face, dark black eyes half-closed, mouth open in a sly smile, licking his full lips still wet with your taste. You maintained eye contact while you sucked him, bobbing your head up and down, sucking hard when his head was about to leave your mouth, and when you went down, you let your tongue lick the underside. It was sloppy, saliva leaving your mouth, making him wetter and easier for your hand to help whatever did not fit your mouth. You were moaning around him, figuring he would like it as much as Namjoon did, and you were rewarded with high pitched moans from Jimin, his head now thrown back. On a hard suck downwards you felt his thighs clench and his release spill on your mouth at the same time Namjoon played with your clit, and you screamed and soon saw nothing else.

You did not know how long you were out, but when you came to your senses again you were lying on your front, covered by your blanket, and Jimin was nowhere in sight. You heard footsteps entering the room just when you raised your head and saw Namjoon with a cold bottle of water and pants on. He smiled tentatively at you, sitting by your side on the bed. He helped you sit, propped up against him, and you took the bottle from his hands, feeling thirsty.

“Hey,” his voice was almost shy, so different from before and from the usual Namjoon. Well, the Namjoon you thought you knew. “Are you ok?”

You nodded, smiling softly at him between sips. You looked around and then looked at him, the question clear in your eyes.

“Hm, Jimin’s gone now. He helped clean you up and left, we… we did not know if you wanted him here for the after. Or if at all. Or… if you still wanted me.”

It was strange, seeing this difference in him. Namjoon was so confident, especially in the bedroom, and after finding out the truth about him, you could not imagine he would ever be this timid.

“I still want you, Joon,” you could barely speak, but you wanted to reassure him, hugging him tightly. He needed you at this moment as much as you needed him. “I just have some questions, but I still love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n. And I’ll answer whatever you want.” He was eager to respond, his relief apparent in his voice.

“The first question is… can we have fun with Jimin again another time?”

398 notes · View notes