#im too tired tumblr pulls from all tags anyways

[vhvrs]

did ponysonas on twt too. got mostly league ones so they can go together

(ie ekko, zeri, gilded jayce, n @hexhomos heartthrob jayce)

#league of legends #ekko #zeri #jayce #dork art #im too tired tumblr pulls from all tags anyways

[fceriestcrdst]

[reads ur tags]

I'm glad that it helped!!!! & No need to apologize reblog as many times as you like, I love seeing you in my notifs 🥺

*sleepily blows kisses to you bc ive been awake since 4pm yesterday*

putting a readmore bc i infodumped on accident

watch me rb it like---way too often truly. you're gonna see me like "ah, he lives---" i have the third gif as my discord header rn bc i love him. like that whole scene just!! & the museum scenes from the beginning of episode one!!!! also really love the heart eyes scene in episode 4

from the moment he steps into the museum to getting told he has a date, the sequence with donna about the ennead & the lil sequence of him exiting

the museum as well!!! (obviously minus the donna being a raging cunt bits!). also in episode 4 just the entire bit with layla before they properly enter the tomb bc the share heart eyes makes me weep for literal hours-

also the bathroom scene with marc in episode one & the gun scene in episode 3 (bc idk,,i try to find gifs of him pulling it away daily. why? because its very sexy of him!). ALSO ALSO the "i'm sorry what? i'm dead--we're dead?" scene because he looks fucking gorgeous in it & the "this is the building principle-" scene before the opened to door to realize he's on a boat!!!!

also this hands on his hips scene:

alsoalsoalso the entire boat scene with layla is stunning 7 layla is also stunning so hang on:

hearteyes layla my beloved but also episode 3 layla looking up at steven my beloved & scarlet scarab layla my beloved!!! also love the Mr. knight/moon knight looks without the masks on (idk why??? I've learned i really dislike being unable to see their faces!)

LETS ALSO NOT FORGET THE BIT IN EPISODE 1 OF STEVEN WITH CRAWLEY SAYING "BIT OF A RED FLAG, INNIT?" BECAUSE I SEE THAT SCENE & STRAIGHT STARE AT THE TV-

im dead tired but still somehow squeezed an entire infodump of my favorite scene from mk that you can use against me eventually. i probably have more but these are the ones i really really like---that live rent-free. i assume we can tell episode 1 is maybe my true favorite but really all of them are my favorite-

anyways, im gonna rb that gifset truly until i die & if i haven't mentioned bc brain is soup rn---i love the entire layla in steven's flat scene in episode 2 up until he is in the ca being taken to harrow. like the blues are so pretty & the way he looks when he opens his front door make some fucking sob hly fucking christ. i wish i could pinpoint why i have attached so heavily to steven (but honestly, outside of tumblr i am very active with each other them--equally--& wish i could tell you why)

if this has a fuckton of typos & makes no coherent sense---i have been up since 4pm yesterday. my brain is shutting down & i am entering my wonk hours <3

also i really like in & all scenes where he's wearing his glasses/reading/in general being very steven

okayokay, i am going to up the shut fuck. ilysm--i ma so sorry i fucking infodumped for no reason--apparently my brain wanted all this out before it exploded-

#nym ✨ #crow's friendship garden 💖💐 #kit's love letters 🥺💗 #fuckin sending asks to half awake me is a wild time shjsdghjgdf #if you asked for my fave sw ones i'd definitely tell you #cause i have many--i think

[1kook]

commercial break: twelve

this is part of my netflix & chill series a prelude to part 10 <3

SUMMARY Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee.  WARNING none !! we r safe MISC jk and doyeon mortal enemies, nearly everyone is mentioned, thank u namjoon, jk loves oc, the end <3 jimin makes his first appearance O_O WC 1.4k

NOTES we just having fun with it!!! jk’s friendship with everyone else <3

Doyeon says you have fat fingers, and Jungkook takes great offense at that. “Who cares about the size— __ has pretty hands, idiot,” he mutters, and almost wants to feel bad about being so childish in the middle of this jewelry store. But Kim Doyeon is a pest— a fly who just won’t stop buzzing by his ear with each ring they look at, and she has the audacity to look disgusted with him now. Jungkook very much regrets inviting her along. She exudes very similar energy to the popular girls he used to go to high school, the ones that would only talk to him because he was friends with Namjoon and wanted Jungkook to help them into his pants. Lo and behold, Kim Doyeon is very acquainted with whatever’s inside Namjoon’s pants. She hits the mark perfectly. 

“Oh, definitely get her a rock. Like, one of those obnoxiously bing and shiny rings, maybe?” And she never stops talking. 

Jungkook hasn’t had to spend this much time with her in months, the last time being Namjoon’s birthday when you had tasked the two of them to go pick up the cake together. Not only was Doyeon adamant on passenger-seat driving — “Turn here,” she says a moment too late, “no wait, here — but she had been an absolute heathen outside in the bakery parking lot. 

(“Okay, now take a picture of me by this wall,” she says, artfully holding up the box of cake in two hands, dark hair flipped over her shoulder. Jungkook doesn’t know how to tell her that there is no significant difference between this brick wall and the brick wall they just took a picture by two minutes before.)

Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. It would be him and Namjoon, and maybe Namjoon’s blunt roommate Jimin if he was feeling down for it, but that was pretty much it. Even Taehyung, a very close and dearly cherished friend, had not made the cut. He was too lazy, didn’t offer much concrete advice other than the occasional, “that one looks cool” comment. 

The great thing about Namjoon is that he’s highly educated on just about every aspect of life; he knows the best hairstylists — “You can always ask Hobi,” Namjoon offers, “he’s married.” — and the best lawyers — “Oh, and Yoongi can help with your prenup.” — for no reason other than the fact he is Namjoon. 

The bad thing about Namjoon is that he’s dead set on including Doyeon. “Doyeon is ___’s best friend,” he says calmly one night after dinner. You’re at your friend’s house this weekend, something about a midnight revenge plot against a shitty ex-boyfriend. He isn’t too clear on the details. “You have to let her in on it.” It’s been decades since Jungkook last stomped his foot in annoyance, but the urge wells up strongly in him now. 

Jimin is on the couch. “Oooh, you don’t like her?” he asks, flipping his platinum hair away from his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t answer, only because it would be rude to confirm it in front of Namjoon. Jimin presses on. “Is she, like, an evil best friend?”

“Yes,” Jungkook says at the same time Namjoon says, “no.” Jimin’s got this highly intrigued smirk on his face, and Jungkook hates how similar it is to your own mischievous grins. He’s glad you haven’t met Jimin, mostly because he knows you have your mean moments and meeting Park Jimin would only exacerbate them. Namjoon frowns anyway. 

Jimin says, “oh, you guys should duel. Like, whoever knows __ the best gets to keep her.” 

Namjoon jumps to stop that thought. “No— they’re not gonna duel, Jimin. ___ isn’t an object to win,” he scolds, and Jungkook nods along agreeingly, pretends he hadn’t seriously considered Jimin’s idea for a solid ten seconds. 

Long story short, Doyeon has tagged along to this jeweler and the past two jewelers to make sure Jungkook doesn’t give you “an ugly ring,” as she claims. 

“Wait, what if you get her this one,” she says, on the other side of the store. Jungkook sighs, but hurries over anyway. Hey, he’s here to see some rings, okay? 

Doyeon is looking at the most ugly ring Jungkook has ever seen, a mix of a braid and a snake, that is just too… not you. “This is hideous,” he says, disregarding all and any notions of being polite because at this point, she had to be pulling his leg. “___ would hate this.” 

At his side, Doyeon huffs. “Oh, ‘cause you know ___ sooo well, don’t you?” she snarks. 

Jungkook levels her with a glare. “I do, actually,” he says, “that’s literally what made me want to marry her.” And because Kim Doyeon sparks a very immature flame within him, he feels the need to add, “I probably know ___ better than you,” to top it off. 

Doyeon scoffs. “No, you don’t— you will never know her like I do, you overgrown fungus,” she spits. “Me and ___ have exceeded any level of trust you could ever hope to have, a friendship forged on the grounds of love and equal values. A nerd like you can’t even begin to fathom the absolutely crazy shit we’ve shared with each other.” 

If he was eight years younger, Jungkook is certain he would have gone home and cried. Mid-twenties Jungkook, on the other hand, has had one too many rodeos with mean girls — he’s dating a retired high school cheerleader, for goodness sake, an apex predator if he’s ever seen one — and will not stand for it. Besides, Jungkook has received your blessing to check Doyeon into place if ever she crosses the line. 

(“Sometimes you just gotta knock her down, maybe call her a dumbass if necessary,” you had said one night after Doyeon had unceremoniously barged into your apartment to monopolize your evening plans with Jungkook. Now it’s nearing midnight and as much as Jungkook wants to spend time with you, he’s deathly tired. “Just tell her off.” 

Jungkook frowns, snuggles closer until he’s so tightly pressed against your body that he can’t tell whose heartbeat is whose. He likes it like that.

There’s just something about your annoying best friend that activates this feeling in Jungkook’s chest. If anything, Jungkook imagines it is similar to that of having a bratty little sister. But Doyeon as his sister? He rolls his eyes so far back he swears he sees his own brain. 

It’s childish and petty and unlike Jungkook — or at least, unlike the Jungkook he knows you think he is. Which is flattering, to be thought of so highly, but sometimes Jungkook wonders where on earth you got that idea from. Because whenever he’s around you, Jungkook becomes increasingly immature, grows so greedy and needy, desperate for anything you have to give him. 

And because he’s so immature, he settles on tattling to you instead, “she called me a sweaty meat bag,” to which you snort in amusement.) 

For now, he calls on the spirit of the most mature person he knows (Namjoon). Jungkook takes one last look at his millionth silver band of the day before turning to address the Wicked Witch of the West. “I might not know ___ like you do, but that’s fine,” he says calmly. “We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together anyway.” 

In front of him, Doyeon’s eye twitches and Jungkook senses he has won. For now. See, the thing is, Jungkook knows that using Namjoon-level logic against her is foolproof. For one, Namjoon’s logic is always solid. But also, as much as Jungkook despises Kim Doyeon with nearly every fiber in his being… ultimately, they share a common interest: cherishing you. 

Had it not been for your existence in their lives, Jungkook doubts he would have ever spent his Saturday morning at a jeweler with the likes of Kim Doyeon, especially not after she had spent ten minutes in the Starbucks drive-thru ordering the most bizarrely complicated drink. But deep in his heart Jungkook knows that she loves you, though not as much as him, and he respects the fact she is willing to accompany him in the name of buying you a beautiful engagement ring. It’s a friendship solidarity he admires, and for that he stomps down his childish pride to answer in a way that would impress, well, you. 

(Even when you’re not here, Jungkook always wants to impress you.)

At his side, Doyeon huffs. “I should’ve never taken ___ to that party.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr

#networkbangtan #jungkook #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook fic #jjk fic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts fic #bts x reader #mine

[mirohtron]

in the end (it does matter)

—

anonymous asked: Can you make a part 2 to lonely?👁👁

@sweet-sinner69 (tumblr pls let me tag them) @why-am-i-on-this-website-anyway and @selectivegeekwithstandards also requested for a part 2 hello im sorry for the tag but i spent four days on this i will not let my work go unseen /lh

first part here.

—

They didn't know how it exactly happened, but one second they were on the floor of their apartment, sobbing, begging hero to not hurt them, and then next they were sitting in the booth of a McDonald's, patched up as good as hero could do.

Plasters covered some cuts on villain's hands, the ones that hadn't scabbed over yet, and underneath their sweater, the gash on their arm was firmly wrapped with bandages.

It all happened too fast; villain's mind had been going a mile a minute, and hero had to calm them down and promise they wouldn't hurt them, and, in an attempt to not stay alone with hero and get kidnapped somehow, villain had requested they go outside. More like beg. Unprompted.

That was why hero was in their apartment in the first place, right? To get villain to hero's base? Or maybe eliminate them? Villain couldn't stomach that. Being in their room with hero had been near-asphyxiating, and villain's agency had told them time and time again that the heroes wouldn't hesitate to eliminate villains.

It was why they'd brought the two of them to the mall and made hero sit in a McDonald's booth with them. There were people. A lot of people. Hero wouldn't try to kidnap them in here, hopefully. Probably. They looked professional, trained for this. They wouldn't try anything that could harm civillians.

Something in villain's chest twisted. Something regretful, something pained.

They wished they were one of those civillians.

"Do you wanna order?" hero asked gently, hands at their sides and under the table.

Villain opened their mouth to answer, but their breath caught in their throat. Did they? They didn't know if they had an appetite or not, and eating with hero could still risk being sedated and taken to hero's base.

Their left hand furled into a fist.

"I—I don't have any money," they finally answered, voice a little raw. They'd forgotten to pick up their wallet in their hurry to toss their sweater on, not wanting to risk any stranger worrying about their bandaged arm. People were too kind sometimes, and even if that societal trait could help somebody, villain didn't want to risk anything.

"That's fine," hero assured, "I don't mind a little spending. Do you wanna check out the menu?"

Villain swallowed. They didn't realise their answer could count as a "yes."

Their gaze locked onto some part of the table between them, debating.

"...how did you get in?" villain asked instead. The question had been prodding their mind even before they had realised it was hero they were crying to. Were they that horrible at keeping their location a secret? Wouldn't that mean other heroes knew their location, too? What about villains?

Their blood ran cold.

"One of my colleagues placed a track you."

If possible, their blood ran colder.

"What?"

"They're a telepath," hero explained, seemingly not noticing villain's internal panic, "they put a tracker of sorts on you. Your location was determined from that."

Villain's throat felt parched. Did that mean the telepath could read their mind? Could they read their mind right now?

Some salty taste settled in the back of their mouth. They felt horribly seen. It was uncomfortable.

"Is it still on me?"

"No." Hero shook their head. "They took it off once we learned of your location."

"Oh." Villain looked at the few plasters on their knuckles. Maybe hero was lying, maybe the tracker was still on them. But they couldn't be sure. Hero hadn't tried anything malicious yet, they didn't look like they'd even hurt villain right now.

Perhaps it was because there were civillians here. They looked at one of the tiny scabs on their skin. Hero had hurt them in fights before, what would stop them from hurting villain later? What if they got home, and hero was there to beat them bloody?

They felt a little sick.

"Hey," hero said after a moment. Villain looked up, and they couldn't see a hint of malevolance in their expression. Hero looked a little guilty, on the contrary.

Hero glanced at villain's knuckles. "I—I didn't... know you were so scared. Of me." They looked at villain's knuckles again, brows furrowing, swallowing. "I was—I didn't... I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

Hero pursed their lips. They looked like they wanted to say something else, like they wanted to protest against villain's words, like they should be sorry, but instead they nodded, looking down at their lap.

Villain pressed the tips of their fingers up against their palm as the silence between them grew heavy.

"Why were you in my bed?" they asked next.

"You pulled me."

"...what?"

"I was expecting you to be awake," hero said, "but you were asleep. Then you, uhm, you pulled me. To the bed. I didn't want to wake you because you looked tired."

Villain pulled their hands to themself, wanting to look smaller. "Oh."

Who does that? Villain wanted to hold their head in their hands. Of course, their touch starved self would do that. Of course, since they hadn't had a nice touch in a long time, their sleeping state would want someone. They wanted to ask how long hero was stuck like that, hoping that maybe they awoke soon after, but instead,

"Why were you sent?"

that came out.

Hero laughed, like they were nervous. "I wanted to talk to you about that, actually," they said, looking them in the eye, "after you'd eaten something. I wanted you to be a little more relaxed."

Oh. Villain's breath hitched. No one really thought about their comfort anymore. They weren't expecting their archenemy to.

Tears pricked at the corner of their eyes, but villain desperately blinked them away. Oh.

Hero didn't seem to notice. They shifted in their seat, putting their hands on the table. "They told me you were harmless," they said, "after my colleague took away the mental track, they... We know it was an invasion of privacy, but."

Villain's stomach hollowed out. They read their mind, didn't they? Villain supposed they had to. Of course they would, if they were given the opportunity. All they knew was that villain was some spiteful nobody.

"You don't want to be a villain, do you?" they asked, searching villain's face for something.

Villain bit their bottom lip to stop it from quivering. They shook their head, fingers digging into the leather of their seat. They absolutely didn't. They'd choose to be a civillian over a villain over and over again, if they could.

"They said you couldn't handle it."

"I can't." Villain sniffled dryly, looking away. When had they started crying again? "I really can't."

"It'll be okay," hero said gently, "we want to take you in. For reforming. Do you want in?"

Villain's gaze snapped back up. Reforming?

They searched hero's face, looking for a lie. They hoped hero wasn't lying. Hero wouldn't lie about this, right?

The agency had always told them that heroes wouldn't want anything to do with villains. Maybe the agency was lying. They had to be, because otherwise hero would have taken villain out the second they'd laid their eyes on them, right?

A sob broke their throat, and hero had rounded the table and was by their side in an instant, holding them close and stroking their hair. Reforming? Could they be safe as a civillian now?

"I don't wanna get murdered in a dirty street corner," they said quietly, hiding in hero's neck again. They sniffled, fingers clutching their shirt desperately.

"I know, we’ll handle that for you," hero said, rubbing circles on their back soothingly, "I suppose that's a yes?"

Villain nodded, sobbing harder somehow. "It is," they said, "it's a yes."

They wouldn't have to hurt people anymore. That was good. It would be fine. 

Hero told them it would be alright, that they'd just done what they needed to to get by, that they could leave villainy behind, and that the butterfly effect wouldn't be cruel to them anymore. Bad things wouldn't pile up anymore, and they wouldn't have to use their powers to hurt ever again.

“Do you wanna order?“

“Yeah.“

In the end, they got a free McDonald's meal and a lot of nice touch.

#kyles.writing #lonely.series #please tell me someone understood the linkin park reference in the title #guys they got a free mcdonalds meal because everyone thought they proposed ok #i just didnt wanna ruin the moment by saying everybody was clapping #i mean i ruined the moment the second i started writing this but eh #writing #my writing #hero x villain #writeblr #writers on tumblr #heroes and villains #villains and heroes #villain x hero #out of ink #continuation #spilled ink #part 2 #lonely pt.2 #hope this sufficed! even tho i hate the pacing #im so sorry #why do i suck ass at pacing #hurt and comfort #hero x villain snippet

[buckys-other-punk]

Why There?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Tony suggests a little game for everyone to play after a party. You and Bucky are partnered up and let’s just say things become heated throughout the game.

Warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex, cussing and alcohol/drunk-ish people?

Prompt: “Let’s go fuck in that closet.”

Word Count: 2.8K 

A/N: Helloo loves! Starting off the new year with a new smutty fic! This was suppose to be for a writing challenge I joined back in May (holy shit i’ve put this off for way to long..sorry), but the blog who hosted the challenge kinda logged off of tumblr...but I still wanted to write this if they decided to come back (and check it out) and also for you guys of course. This is also very much unedited (like always because im excited to share this) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged in future fics and what you think of this fic! Enjoy ;)

**DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE UNDER 18, BUT I CANT CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS SO THIS FINAL WARNING IS POINTLESS...**

“Fuck, how many drinks have you had?” Sam asked, looking at Bucky.

“Far too many. You think Stark’s gonna stop poisoning us?” he chuckled in reply.

“Guys we should play a game!” Tony slurred excitingly towards all of you.

“Tony, are you drunk?” Steve asked Tony. In response he ignored the captain.

You looked at Natasha who was sitting next to you on the couch. Rolling your eyes you asked the man, “What game should we play Tony?”

“I’m glad you asked my dear sweet Y/N.” he stated as he patted your head gently.

“He’s for sure drunk.” you heard Clint huff under his breath.

“Whoever said that, go suck a dick.” Tony grumbled. “Anyways we should play hide and seek! It would be so fun to play it in this big tower!” he exclaimed.

“Tony, I honestly think you’ve had way too much to drink.” Pepper chuckled at her husband.

“No, I’m fine dear. Seriously guys come on! I’ll make it fair. We can have partners!” Tony explained.

“I call Y/N!” Sam yelled getting up from his seat. 

“Dude what the fuck!” Bucky whispered, slapping his shoulder with an angry expression.

“Hey, I wanted to partner with Y/N.” Natasha pouted towards Tony and you.

“Guys, relax I’m sure Tony is the one who will be picking partners. Isn’t that right Tony?” you hesitantly said looking at Stark.

“That’s right Y/N.” Tony replied. “And since Mr. Wilson over here was so eager he’s going to be partnered with Clint.”

“Noo!” Sam and Clint both shouted in astonishment as they looked at Tony.

“Sorry boys. Nat you’re with Steve.” Tony ordered looking at the pair. “I’m with my beautiful wife of course.”

“Yeah, no I’m tired honey. Being the host of an extravagant party was enough.” she said as she kissed Tony’s cheek.

“Good night Pepper.” you said ever so sweetly.

“Thanks. Have fun guys.” she said waving goodbye to everyone and exiting the room.

“Well, I guess I’m with you Banner. I’m assuming you’re playing.” Tony asked, crossing his arms.

“Do I have a choice?” Bruce said in defeat. 

“Nope!” Tony said. “And that leaves Y/N and Bucky for the final pair.” he added looking towards the two of you. You were kind of happy to be paired with Bucky, even though you wished to be paired with Natasha, but Bucky will have to do. I mean, you and Bucky have been having an on and off thing every so often, how bad would this be? You looked towards Bucky with a smile which he returned.

“What?! How come Bucky gets to be with Y/N!? I called dibs!” Sam said angrily towards Tony.

“Because I said so.” Tony snapped which made Sam go off in the corner to sulk.  “So here are the rules; you can’t ask FRIDAY for help, each pair needs to stay together, if you are found you can’t help the seeker find the others, and this entire floor is up for grabs.” Tony explained.

“Wait, if the entire floor is good to hide, that means we can hide in people’s rooms?” Clint asked with a mischievous smirk.

“Yup, everything is clear. If everyone is ok with that?” Tony asked, looking at everyone.

“Yeah.”    “I’m fine with that.”    “Ok.”     “Sure.”

“Alright, but just in case none touches anybody’s stuff in their rooms. Oh, I also forgot to mention, you can move around if you don’t like your hiding spot.” Tony stated sounding less drunk than before. “So, is everyone ready?” he asked and everyone gave a nod towards the man. 

“Ok, Bruce and I will be the seekers. We’ll give everyone 15 minutes to hide. FRIDAY can you announce when the time is up and who gets found when we find people?” he asked the AI.

“Yes, Mr. Stark.” the AI said. “Your 15 minute timer starts now.”

With that everyone grabbed their partners and took off. Clint practically dragged Sam from the corner where he was sulking. Steve picked up Nat and carried her out of the room. Natasha was furiously yelling at Steve to put her down saying she can walk herself. Bucky grabbed your hand and you both ran towards the kitchen.

As the two of you entered the kitchen you both saw Clint try to shove Sam into one of the cabinets underneath the island table. They both felt yours and Bucky’s stares and whipped their heads towards the two of you.

“GET OUT!” Sam yelled as he tried to shimmy into the storage space. Bucky raised his hands in defeat and the two of you exited the kitchen. As you both were leaving you heard Sam yell to Clint, “Dude quit shoving me so hard!” The two of you laughed as you walked down the hallway.

You both passed the living quarters where you briefly saw red hair hiding behind a dresser. You stopped walking to look into the room, which was Clint’s, and saw blue eyes were peeking underneath a bed. “You guys are gonna be found first.” you said to the two.

“Fuck off Y/N. You guys haven’t even hidden yet.” you heard Nat say from behind the dresser.

“There is 5 minutes remaining.” FRIDAY announced.

“Let’s see who gets found first.” Steve said from underneath the bed.

You shook your head and walked towards Bucky. The two of you couldn’t find a perfect spot to hide and time was running out.

“Y/N there.” Bucky said pointing towards the laundry room. You nodded and the two of you quickly entered the room searching for a good place to hide. 

“Damn it there’s nowhere good to hide in here!” you huffed out towards the man.

“Aw come on Y/N. What about there?” he said pointing to the supply closet. “Let’s go fuck in that closet.” he said with a smirk.

“What the fuck Bucky!” you quietly yelled. “First off, no. Second, why should we hide there? Isn’t it a little too obvious to hide in a closet?” you replied with your hands on your hips.

“Hey at least I tried.” he said, raising his arms in defense. “Well it may be so obvious that the science bros wouldn’t even look there.” Bucky replied, back arms crossed.

“The 15 minute time is up. Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner is on their way.” the AI announced.

“Ugh, fine we’ll hide in the closet.” you huffed in defeat as you pulled Bucky with you towards the closet. You opened the door, shoved Bucky inside first and got in closing the door behind you. The space felt super small with Bucky’s large frame pressed up behind you. His hands were on your hips and you felt his hot breath on your exposed neck. Fuck why did Tony have to have this idea right after a party? You grumbled to yourself.

“You smell nice, doll.” Bucky whispered in your ear.

“That’s fucking creepy Bucky.” you replied back.

“What, I can’t help it. You look so fucking hot in this dress.” he started as he rubbed his hands along your frame which of course gave you goosebumps.

“Wait, be quiet. I think I hear someone.” you whispered. Bucky became quiet, but his arms wrapped around your front this time and he pulled you even closer to his body. You could feel his bulge pressing against your lower back.

“Nothing here.” you heard Bruce yell.

“Did you check the closet?” Tony asked.

“I don’t think anyone would be hiding in the closet. That’s the most obvious place to hide.” Banner said.

“Alright then.” Stark stated as the two of them exited the laundry room.

He sobered up quickly you said to yourself.

Both you and Bucky huffed out the breath you were holding. You waited a good 5 minutes before opening the closet door and pulling Bucky out. As soon as the two of you got out of that closet you heard FRIDAY announce that Natasha and Steve were found first.

“Knew it.” you whispered with a smirk towards Bucky. “We gotta find somewhere else to hide.” you added.

“Where should we go?” he asked, walking towards the exit of the laundry room, looking out into the hallway to see if the coast was clear.

“Maybe someone’s room. I don’t think that Tony and Bruce would go back there since they already found a pair.” you said shrugging your shoulders.

“Alright, let's go to Sam’s room.” Bucky said. “I’ve always wanted to mess with his stuff.” he added with a smirk.

“Tony said to not mess with the rooms, Buck.” you said as the two of you walked into the hallway towards the room.

“Fuck his rules. I’ve been meaning to mess with Wilson’s stuff for a while, but never got the chance.” he snickered.

“Whatever.” you huffed.

The two of you arrived in Sam’s room without hesitation and Bucky wreaked havoc. He went into the bathroom and messed with all of Sam’s toiletries. Sam’s bed was neatly fixed before the two of you got there, but once Bucky finished messing with his bathroom, he walked towards the bed laying down on it.

“You wanna fuck in his bed?” Bucky said wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“What no.” you quickly said.

“Fine, maybe next time.” winking at you as he stood up from the bed. You rolled your eyes as you looked around the room wondering if Tony and Bruce found Sam and Clint. About 15 minutes passed and you were getting bored. Did Tony and Bruce give up?

“You guys are giving me a headache.” you heard Tony announce through the intercoms. “New rule, if you found a new spot to hide you have to stay there.”

“Ugh, I need this game to be over so i can get out of this dress.” you said as you laid on Sam’s bed.

“I can help with that, doll.” Bucky flirted which again made you roll your eyes. “Come one Y/N. Help me get back at Sam for his prank on me. Let’s fuck on his bed.” he begged at you on his knees. You sat up as an idea formed in your mind, which would help him get his revenge.

“No, I’m not gonna have sex with you in Sam’s bed.” you said and Bucky groaned frustrated looking at the ground. “But,” you started and that made him lift his head up. You leaned forwards towards him so that your face was close to his. “I’ll fuck you in his closet.” you said looking straight into his eyes. You saw his blue eyes turn dark filling with lust.

“You’re serious Y/N? You’re not messing with me right?” he asked quietly staring into your eyes

“I’m dead serious babe.” you said confidently and with that Bucky stood up and lifted you into his arms. As he walked towards the closet his blue eyes were staring into your y/e/c eyes. He looked down to your lips then back up at your eyes. Once Bucky entered the open closet he leaned his head forward and connected his lips with yours.

The kiss was passionate and rough. Bucky closed the door slightly so just enough light could peak through. He pressed you up against the wall as he still held onto you. He deepened the kiss and the two of you moaned as your tongues fought for dominance. Your chest was pressed up against his, arms around his neck holding him close and thighs wrapped around his torso.

You felt one of his hands move from your back to your exposed thigh. He ran his hand from your thigh up to your hip, pushing your black dress along with it. Bucky withdrew his lips from yours and attached them to your neck. Unsatisfied with his thin grey dress shirt, you moved your hands to his chest and began to unbutton the fabric wanting more of him. Just as you finished unbuttoning his shirt you both heard a noise outside the closed space. 

Both of you froze in place looking towards the cracked door not wanting to get caught. You heard footsteps walk past the room and a grumble followed by a door shutting. It was probably Steve, tired of Tony’s little game and wanting to sleep the rest of the night. With that the two of you huffed in relief, Bucky looked back to you  with his lustful eyes.

“You’re sure you still want to do this?” he asked face inches to yours.

“If we get caught, then whoever catches us will have a great show.” you said smugly.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you, doll.” he growled as he took off his shirt completely while still holding onto you. 

You followed suit, luckily your dress had no zippers, so you pulled your dress up over your head and kicked off your heels. Bucky pulled back and drooled at the sight of you. You wore a black bralette and lace thong underneath your dress. He grabbed the back of your head and pulled it forward as he pressed his lips on yours once again. Your hands ran up his toned chest to the back of his neck, you used our right hand to slightly pull at his hair which made him moan.

Bucky’s right hand moved from your hip to up your body, stopping at your left breast giving it a light squeeze. Moaning at the sensation you began to grind against his lower half, feeling his dick twitch underneath his dress pants. Bucky pushed the fabric covering your breasts down, his lips removed from yours as he placed hot wet kisses from your jaw down to your chest. Admiring your naked torso he lifted you higher against the wall so he could attach his lips on your hardened nipple as one of his hands began to rub your clit through your lace thong. You moaned, grabbing a fist full of his hair drawing his lips back to yours. 

Once your lips were attached Bucky’s, he began to unbuckle his belt and you fumbled unzipping his pants off. He pushed them down along with his boxer briefs to his thighs and his hard dick sprang free form its restraints. It was your turn to now drool at the sight of him. You moved your right hand between your bodies as you grabbed his dick and began stroking it. Bucky moved his hand back to your clothed pussy and moved your lace thong to the side. He gathered the slick juices from your pussy to his mouth, moaning harder at the taste of you and your actions.

“You ready doll?” he asked looking at your eyes and you replied with a yes. He spat in his hand and pumped his dick before slowly inserting into you. The two of you moaned at the sensation as Bucky held you close waiting for you to adjust to his size.

“Move baby.” you whispered in his ear. Bucky slowly pulled out of you and back in.His movements were torturously slow and you wanted more.

“Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner have found Mr. Wilson and Barton.” FRIDAY announced. 

Oh thank god you said to yourself. “You better make this fast Barnes.” you breathed out finally getting what you wanted.

“Oh doll, if you want fast I’ll show you fast.” he whispered in your ear. Just like that his hips pulled back almost completely and quickly thrusted back into you. You moaned in Bucky’s ear pulling at his hair with your right hand, scratching his back with the other keeping his body close to yours. His pace changed to an agonizing slow pace making you clench around him.

“Fuck Bucky.” you moaned as your head rested on his shoulder. Bucky then thrusted hard into you again. You screamed, biting his shoulder as your back was pressed harder against the wall.

“Shit doll, you’re taking me so well.” he said as he kissed along your jaw. With each sharp thrust his lips moved closer and closer to yours. Once he felt your clench around his dick he placed his lips on yours swallowing your moans. 

“What the fuck?” a voice yelled as they entered his room.

Bucky’s ears perked up and he quickened his pace fucking you harder and harder. You couldn’t control how loud your moans were. You quickly slapped your hand over your mouth, hoping Sam didn’t hear. Your legs began to shake as you felt your climax come near and Bucky felt you clench around his dick. He quickly moved his hand over to your clit rubbing the small bundle of nerves as fast as he could. You both hear footsteps come closer and closer to the closet door. 

You and Bucky began panting hard at how close you both were. You felt Bucky’s dick twitch inside of you, which made you clench around him and just as you both were at the peak of your climax the closet door quickly opened revealing Sam. His eyes wide at the sight of you naked pressed up against the wall and Bucky balls deep inside of you. The two of you groaned in each other's mouths as you both came hearing yelling in the background.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Sam yelled again. Covering his eyes at the scene in front of him, his two best friends having sex with one another.

A/N: WOOOOO! What did you think of this mess! Was it hot (or not)? lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat, hit me up! 

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#1ksillyqtchallenge #Bucky Barnes #bucky smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #reader x bucky #reader x bucky barnes #reader insert #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

anyone wanna hear the story of how i found out supernatural was ending and proceeded to have the worst morning of my life?

(super-excessive rambling ahead. do not read the whole of it.)

so i don't remember the date but it was the day of my english 10th board exam. boards are like a series of subject finals, kinda the biggest exams conducted in a student's education in india, plus they're nationalized. so yeah, a massively big deal, and obviously the first thing i do waking up on this massively important day is open tumblr. there are about seventy messages and i'm confused cause i think i barely "talked" to ten people back then, but before i've even checked them out, the first post i see is a textpost about how the longest running joke universally across fandoms is that 'spn has been going on way too long and needs to end' but now that it is ending, all people can do is cry about it. for some reason, i don't process that post as fact™, assuming they mean a general "ending" instead of a "j2m announced last season" ending. anyways i move on to my messages, and all of them are people who've freaking the fuck out for at least a few hours (the advantages of being in a timezone different from of most people) and i go to my activity, still stunned, and someone's tagged me in a meta of some kind, and i check it out completely dazed and it's got gifs (already!) of the three of them standing there with teary eyes and jensen actually saying the words everyone had been screaming about in the chats, and it finally hits me that it's ending, supernatural is ending, it's going to be OVER, and it's already been decided when. obviously, the tears start, and literally crying in my bed, still under the comforter, i think i watched the video twice, without headphones in fact, which is extremely weird because i virtually NEVER do that, but as if anything else mattered at the moment!

i don't remember what all i felt in those moments but one of the thoughts that REALLY stood out was that i wish, wish, wish it lasted just one more year — so maybe supernatural could end at the same time as highschool ended for me, and it'd feel like the end of a phase of my life, but no, according to what they predicted (and not even kidding, now it's even worse) supernatural was going to end smack in the middle of senior year for me, obviously a super important, super stressful year, and god, i wished so hard it'd just go on ONE MORE YEAR somehow but look what happened now it's ending like three months before my college entrance exams and the competitive engineering exams and shit which is just absolutely perfect because it's doing wonders to my attention span and mental health and yeah i'm getting off topic i'm gonna come back to the topic now

it's two am rn and i'm weirdly tired of typing so what happens next is fucking wild, but i'm gonna hurry because i need to go cry some more into a pillow or a ao3 tab or something. so like a whole HOUR later i get up from bed. i've got to get dressed and shit, most important exam of my life YET and everything. so i start brushing, obviously scrolling through tumblr, obviously failing to not cry, and my mum walks in, and she doesn't know a thing about supernatural (even if she did, she would consider the idea of me crying over them announcing an ending RIDICULOUS) so she just assumes i'm sniffling and tensed up because i'm STRESSED and she tries reassuring me like i need fucking reassurance for ENGLISH of all things. anyway anyway anyway i have maggi for breakfast i think and i'm still pretty out of it and stuff but i get dressed in my uniform and put on the fucking blazer though its HOT outside but i like wearing the school blazer for exams but i underestimated how much of a physically draining effect the news and reacting to it would have on me, so then there's me sweating literal buckets and then we set off.

we're already late in leaving the house (why, i don't remember) and once we're at the centre, and my parents have dropped me off and wished me luck, i go to the gate, right. and THEN the guard gestures to my uniform and tells me i'm missing my fucking class ID. now i know i'm late so i panic on cue because shit shit shit i'm gonna be even more late, and i legit turn and look for mum and dad (we weren't allowed to carry our mobiles for the test) and what i see is that they've reversed the car and are about to drive out the gate and obviously my brain isn't really working so i fucking RUN AFTER THE CAR, like, i'm really not an athletic person, i avoid running as much as i possibly can, and i fucking lose my shit and chase the car down in like ten seconds of running cause it's only like ten metres away actually but the highlight of it all is that i run. in a public space. unprompted. with a shitload of emotions and anxiety and panic, and i basically almost sob in relief when dad immediately stops the car and pretty much pulls me in and tells me to stop worrying cause the house is like ten minutes away and i might miss the general waiting part and stuff but i wasn't gonna miss the exam. so THEN we start driving back and obviously because they are who they fucking are, they start arguing about which of them is at fault for this and who was supposed to check in on me carrying my seriously important ID and other crap, and then obviously they're yelling and that does even more wonders for my state of practically hysteria, but i hold it together until we get home and i get the ID (which is on the bed, probably was under my blazer or something) and we set back off, and i know we're late, and i know supernatural is ending, and i know it's going to take a part of me really, and mum and dad just won't stop yelling at each other about god knows what, and i manage to squeeze in the first time in SO many years that i cry in front of my parents right there in the backseat, and they're sort of stunned because i really don't cry (in front of people) and then there's just me losing it in a mixture of helplessness and nerves and anger for some reason and just. whoa.

ANYWAYS we get to the centre (in time for the exam, but like fifteen minutes later than i SHOULD have gotten there) and dad talks to the teacher and stuff and it works out because obviously it's a really important exam they're not going to make me skip it, and i go straight to my classroom — also did i mention these exams aren't held in our own schools but like, different test centres, so basically a different room and desk each day in a different school from mine, ugh, i hate new places — and i find out i have the FIRST bench of the second column which lowkey sucks because it's too public really, but at least my best friend's sitting like diagonally from me on the left, and my friends are basically sprinkled around the classroom as well and i see them eyeing me worriedly cause they were scared i might miss the exam but also because i was a MESS with bloodshot eyes and an outofit look in them and did i mention i was sweating like a dog all this time wearing a blazer because i'm just that idiot because yeah.

so then i calm myself down the best i can. sitting under a fan helps, taking off my stupid blazer helps, and seeing dish (beforementioned best friend) helps — because apparently she heard about the ending too (she's not in the fandom she just keeps up with news for my sake, yes, im very lucky to have her) and tries to cheer me up about it, but then it's time for the paper, and they give them out and...yeah.

three hours later, the exam ends, and i step out of that hall the most mentally exhausted i've been in YEARS. also i swear off tumblr until i've had lunch and napped and stuff because i was also functioning on extremely little sleep but i really think that part was obvious.

as it goes, i ended up getting a 95% in that paper :)

but to this date, my sister jokes about how i ended up getting my personal least marks of that year in english of all subjects which was supposed to be of my strongest suit heh all because of a six-ish minute video released in a different part of the world about something that wasn't even going to happen that year...and like. yeah.

that's it.

that's the story.

#you're advised not to engage #this gets long and messy #even though it's something i'm not mad about rn #but dee thought this would be a good way to release the sheer weight of supernatural ending tomorrow off my heart so yeah #i ranted my ass off #tw rant #ish? #personal #to delete

[spectacled-renegade-writes]

Title: A Logic’s Work is Never Done

Notes: Oh? My goodness? Is this real? Is this actually happening? Did I finally make it? I just want to give a HUGE thank you and shout out to @heck-im-lost for being the very first person EVER to send a fic request to me! I’ve always wanted to have fic requests but I’ve never been big enough or popular enough for it. So, a GIANT thank you to you! You made my day! I do so hope you enjoy this fic!

Summary: Logan is sleep deprived. How long can he keep it a secret?

Pairings: Platonic CALM/LAMP

Trigger Warnings: Sleep deprivation, Sensory overload, Crying

Other Tags: Fluff

Words: 2246

Ao3: Here

Virgil was the first to notice. It was more than just the ever so slightly sluggish movements he began exhibiting, too. It was the way he tried to cover up his nodding off by proceeding to pull out his phone, the lack of appetite, and most importantly, it was the quite pristine knot in his tie becoming crooked. If there was one thing Virgil was an expert in, it was sleep deprivation, and Virgil had no doubt in his mind that Logan was sleep deprived.

Arguably, Logan was far more stubborn than him. Thus, Virgil did not know how to gently bring it up to Logan without making him feel attacked. So, instead, Virgil decided to simply keep a close eye on him for now.

-

Thomas’ next video would be going into a very heavy and very serious subject matter, and he had been quite anxious about making sure he had all the facts correct. Logan had taken this to heart and began staying up later and later, making sure he was nothing short of an expert on the subject. He spent hours upon hours of sitting at his desk, skimming books, reading articles and taking notes. There was no time for sleep when he had a deadline to make.

Logan knew that the others, especially Virgil, having been created from the left side of Thomas’ brain just as himself, were far more perceptive than they let on, and he feared that they might take notice of his new little habit. It was never a matter of if, but instead a matter of when… Of course Virgil was the first to see it.

Just as Logan knew the others were quite perceptive, he was as well. Which meant that he took notice of how Virgil’s gaze began to linger on him longer than normal, or how he would stare at Logan when he thought Logan wouldn’t notice. Logan waited for the figurative other shoe to drop. He waited… and waited. He was quite perplexed when it never happened. Even when it was only Virgil and he in the room, with no indication that Patton and/or Roman would be entering any time soon, Virgil never spoke up about it. It remained one of those things where both of them knew about it but they pretended the other didn’t know. Logan carried on with his research while sitting at the dining room table, fourth coffee in hand, and Virgil remained on the couch, scrolling through Tumblr on his phone, keeping watch on Logan out of the corner of his eye.

-

It took a long time for the problem to be acknowledged. When it did get acknowledged, however, it happened at the most inconvenient of time.

Logan stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, while he waited for his coffee to brew. He stood with his eyes closed, inhaling and letting the smell of the coffee ground him in place, never realizing quite how relaxing and comforting the smell really was, or how at home and safe it made him feel.

A snap right next to his ear jerked him awake. When had Logan closed his eyes in the first place? He honestly couldn’t say.

“Lo.”

He couldn’t have nodded off while standing up. That would be preposterous… Right?

“Logan!”

Logan was abruptly brought back to his senses and he practically stumbled while regaining his composure. “Virgil? When did you arrive?”

Hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets, Virgil had the most unimpressed look Logan has ever seen. Something about his posture though showed that he really didn’t feel like getting into it right now. “Go to bed, Logan.”

“Virgil, I-”

“Virgil, I don’t know what you mean. Don’t even try me with that. I know. You know I know. Go to bed. Let’s call it a day.”

Logan scoffed. He did not need this. Logan did not need this. His patience has been thin lately anyway. He turned and grabbed the entire coffee pot from its stand and brushed past Virgil. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He sunk out before Virgil could even retort back.

-

At the end of every week was “Fun Night Fridays” as Patton so loving named it. He had gotten the idea soon after Virgil was accepted, so that the four of them could grow closer as a family. They played a different game every week and sometimes multiple games in one night.

Tonight was Roman’s turn to pick. It came as a surprise to no one when he picked Mario Kart. He was second best to Logan and was determined to be number one.

“Are you ready to be left in the dust, nerd?” Roman challenged while hooking up the console.

“I don’t… I don’t see how dust has to do with this.”

Roman sighed, “Honestly, sometimes I swear you do that on purpose. Are you ready to be second best? Tonight is the night I will best you!”

“So you think,” Logan smirked. “Tonight, if I remain victorious, then you must give up on this dream of besting me.”

Roman finished setting up and sat next to Patton on the couch, controller in hand. Last time he sat next to Logan during Mario Kart, it almost ended in an all-out brawl because Roman kept nudging Logan to try and throw him off. After that incident, Logan and Roman had to have Patton and Virgil sit in between them. “Well,” Roman replied. “If we’re making this a challenge, then if I win tonight, I get to choose the game for game night on your night as well as mine for the next year!”

“An adequate trade,” Logan said. “It’s a deal.”

-

Well, Roman was beginning to panic. Once again, he was losing. He was right on Logan’s tail, so close, but for the life of him he could not catch up! “Curse you, Logan.” He gritted under his breath.

Logan was quite enjoying beating Roman as he flew through the course. He had long ago calculated the perfect angles and timing of each button for each map. It was muscle memory to him at this point.

On the third lap of Wario’s Gold Mine however, Logan’s adrenaline from the beginning of the game had begun to wear off. His movements became slow and mere feet from the finish line, the controller slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. His digital kart rolled to a complete stop exactly right behind the finish line. Roman’s kart flew right by his character and the word, “finish” appeared on Roman’s screen in bright, bold letters.

“Yes!” Roman jumped from his seat and threw his arms in the air. “I did it! I’ve finally beat you at your own game!”

Logan hadn’t even registered the loss yet. He had once again nodded off, however awakened suddenly by a heavy hand clamping down on his shoulder. “No need to cry about it, Logan. It was only a matter of time before you lost your crown.”

“Lost my crown…” Logan repeated in a confused daze. He saw the screen behind Roman and caught up with his surroundings. By this point, Patton and Virgil had crossed the finish line as well.

“I don’t think that’s very fair, Roman,” Patton spoke up. “Logan dropped his controller at the last second.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. Logan was acutely aware of Virgil’s eyes burning holes into the side of his head. “Who could have predicted that?”

Roman merely shrugged. “A win is a win! It was never specified in the rules that dropping the controller disqualified the round.” He danced around the living room, bragging about his win through song, cheering about the fact that they wouldn’t have to play Scrabble for a whole year.

Logan knew Patton and Virgil were still staring at him, so he adjusted his glasses and said, “Roman is, unfortunately, correct. It was not specified in the rules and, therefore, a valid win.”

Roman’s response was to whoop and Logan excused himself to the kitchen.

It was too suspicious to make coffee at this hour in front of everyone else so, against his better judgement, Logan got a sugary but more importantly, caffeinated soda from the refrigerator, and chugged it, before returning to the living room. He would not lose again.

-

Logan was not an emotion. He was not emotional. He was not supposed to feel. But lately, he feels like he is going to figuratively fall apart at any moment now. He is just so tired, he cannot stand it anymore. He can’t go to sleep though. There is work to be done. There is research to be done. He must finish before the deadline.

Logan could barely walk, could barely register that he was walking. Somehow though, he ended up from his bedroom to the dining room table. He sat down at his chair and practically collapsed onto the table.

“Logan?” Patton asked as he set plates of food down. “Are you okay?”

Logan merely nodded in response. He no longer thought he could lift his head.

“Are you sure?” Patton had genuine concern in his voice. It was unsurprising, coming from him.

Logan used every bit of his energy to lift his head and look Patton in the eye. “I’m quite all right, Patton.”

Patton smiled gently, “Well, if you’re sure.” He went back to the kitchen to get the rest of the food.

Roman and Virgil came down shortly after and took their own seats at the table. Patton came back with a pitcher of orange juice and took his seat too.

Breakfast was a quiet time for the small family. It was waking up and preparing for the day, having one last moment of calm before the storm to come.

For Logan though, right now, with skin itchy from simply the air, it was loud. Every clank of fork against plate, sip from a cup, and thump as the cup was set back down was nothing short of loud.

Loud.

Loud, loud, loud!

It wouldn’t stop either. It just kept going. Clank, sip, thump. Clank, sip, thump. Clank, sip, THUMP. CLANK, SIP, THUMP!

Logan slammed his hand on the table. “Stop it!”

The entire table went silent. Logan closed his eyes and basked in it. No more sound. No more loud. No more… He opened his eyes. He looked at his family. They were staring right back at him. He looked at Virgil. Virgil’s eyes held nothing short of sympathy. In that moment, Logan knew Virgil that has been exactly where he currently is, and knew what he was feeling.

Patton spoke up first, voice as soft and gentle as possible. “What’s wrong, Logan?”

The words seemed to break him. Logan pulled off his glasses and buried his face in his hands. He felt his shoulders shake, his breathing quicken, and he knew that despite what he wanted, he was crying. His voice shook as he said, “I apologize for my outburst.”

“It’s okay, Logan.” Patton said patiently. “But please tell us what’s going on. We’ve… noticed that you’ve been off lately. We were hoping you’d come to us with it. I guess we should have gone to you instead.”

“Come on, Logan,” Roman spoke up. “I’ll even forfeit my win in Mario Kart if you tell us.” It was a lame attempt at a joke, however it seemed to work. Logan allowed himself a moment to breathe before wiping his face, and looking back up.

“Virgil figured it out a while ago. I think he’s been hoping that I’ll come to my senses. Apparently even Logic can lose sight of what is right.” Logan took a deep breath and replaced his glasses. “I have had almost no sleep for the past two weeks.”

Patton gasped. Logan continued before Patton could do anything else.

“Thomas’ next video deals with a very important subject matter and I must get all the facts right, and we have a deadline, there is no time for dillydallying.”

“So you’ve been over-studying.” Patton said and did not ask, putting the rest of the pieces together.

Logan nodded. Something about this situation made him choke up again and his voice cracked against his next sentence. “I’m just so tired.”

“Oh, Logan,” Patton whispered. “You’re right. The video is important… but not more important than your health. Thomas would not want you pushing yourself like this. None of us do.” He got up from his chair and crossed the table to pull Logan into a hug. “It’s okay to take breaks. In fact, it’s encouraged. How many times have you told us that sleep is vital?”

Logan knew it was a rhetorical question. It’s not like he had any energy left to answer anyway. He practically sunk into Patton’s embrace, something he would later deny ever doing.

“That’s it,” Roman said. “Forget whatever plans we originally had today. We’re getting blankets, we’re having a slumber party in the living room, and we’re going to make sure Logan goes to sleep.

“I guess it’s a good thing we’re still in our pajamas then.” Virgil added.

So, Patton gently led Logan to the couch while Roman and Virgil got the set up ready, and when it was time to lay down, Patton turned off the lights and joined their little cuddle party.

With his family surrounding him, and with the world once again silenced, and the warmth he felt, the last thing Logan said before he fell asleep was, “Thank you.”

-

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[hellishvu]

Doodles and Feelings;

— i really wanted to write about peter but i couldn’t think of anything good… like at all so i decided to check out this website where i got this prompt from the website <- link here, and yes i did write this so long ago but my account of peter parker is messed up somehow and tumblr hates me so im posting it here hopefully it shows up in the TAGS- 

彡 where peter draws doodles of you two together but things end up mixed up when you find them.

“You don’t have to help me study, Y/N I swear I got it.” Peter says getting his keys from his backpocket, you rubbing his hair telling him to open the door anyway.

“With all your superhero stuff, as a friend I want to help you catch up.” You slouched on his couch, seeing the living room clean. Guessing Aunt May cleaned it before leaving so you two could study alone.

“Yeah just go ahead to my room and I’ll bring us snacks alright?” Peter says in the distance already walking to the kitchen, you nodded grabbing his backpack opening his bedroom door. You saw his desk with a bunch of markers and an open notebook.

You looked down seeing a picture (badly) drawn but you could make out what it was. It was him doing the iconic spider man kiss that was written in all newspapers and movies. You snickered but seeing the person giving the kiss was another male, couldn’t tell who it was.

Peter walked in with the snacks in his hand seeing what you were seeing, you snickered to yourself seeing Peter drop almost everything to cover the drawing.

“Come on you could’ve told me you had a crush on someone.” Raising an eyebrow, Peter looked at you utterly confused. Okay maybe he was bad at drawing but he wasn’t that bad was he?

“What do— I mean yes! Crush on a guy, you know… just crushing on a guy named… John.”

“Well Pete the John must be really lucky.” Peter smiles at you but in the inside he was dying, how could he not know it was you in the first place? How could he leave it out in the open also?

“Well no more doodles about lovey boy John it’s time to study.” Setting down the stacks of textbooks and Peter taking his notebook closing it and seeing the title “Peter’s obvious crush on Y/N” written by the famous Ned. Setting it down so only the back of the notebook was shown, protecting his secret love doodles.

Study time went by quite slow, seeing Peter almost passing out on you when you started talking quantum physicals. You felt his head lean on your shoulder, small snores coming from the guy softly sleeping. You never admit it but you love moments like these, when Peter comes back to you after all this superhero spider man stuff to just be vulnerable.

Aunt May came in, knocking before she opened the door. Seeing Peter sleeping on your shoulder you waved trying to help him by still doing his notes for him. Aunt May saw the notebook on the doodle notebook faced down but she knew all too well of the heart stickers that it was the notebook.

“Oh you must’ve found his cute doodles of you and him.”

“Him and I? You mean I and Him? Us?” Turning to Peter the small drool beginning to form, the brown curls he had, and the beautiful pink lips he had. Aunt May covered her mistake by awkwardly laughing backing away till she closed the door.

Peter woke up, rubbing his eyes. The half eaten apple he didn’t finish on the desk and the open bag of chips. Peter saw no trace of you but saw the notes perfectly done by yours truly. He looked through them all seeing you had highlighted every important thing or what would be on the test. He got to the last page seeing a date, time, and place.

Peter walked to the place seeing it wasn’t too far and telling Aunt May that he was going to meet the boy of his dreams that could possibly connect the dots to the drawing… well it wasn’t a good idea. He walked in the place seeing art supplies and two chairs with two canvas.

“Oh you made it!” You jumped out causing Peter to scream, you laughed at him while he whines. Peter wearing his green hoodie looking like he was ready for bed since it was so late. At least he wasn’t in his hello kitty pants.

“What is this? Aren’t they closed?” Peter asks seeing the building lit by candles so people didn’t think it was open and interrupt your time with Peter.

“Well I got some connections and boom we are here!” You smiled grabbing a tube of paint showing off that you bought the supplies. Peter sat down on the stool seeing the blank white canvas.

“Y/N you know I can’t do anything artistic like.” Passing the paintbrushes to him and the cup of water to clean the brushes. You grabbed a glob of paint on your brush plopping some paint on his nose. The vibrant color on his nose, seeing Peter gasp.

“Just draw what first comes to mind.”

“Kissing you, god kissing you comes to mind.” Thoughts of just throwing all this paint and kissing you came racing through Peter’s mind.

You started painting almost immediately, Peter shocked at how you came up with something already. You played soft music to hide the quiet empty art store. The paint somehow mixing and half of the time you’ve spent asking Peter where a certain color was before realizing it was right in front of you.

Peter spent most of his time looking into your eyes, your gorgeous eyes. Doing slow progress on the canvas because he couldn’t shake off you, how he saw how your hands gripped the paintbrush. He wanted to know how it felt to hold your hand.

A new song started playing in your music collection, the soft melody and the lyrics about falling love. The lyrics hit too close to home for Peter. The song about having a crush on someone. The lyrics sharing the same struggles that Peter has, the thoughts about you all day, wanting you to take the hint, and the frustration of not making a move. Peter could literally start to cry, he hummed trying to stop the tears but once one dropped then another did and he was full on sobbing. You stopped painting, getting off your stool holding him close.

“Hey what’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you tired?” Peter sobbed a little more into your chest his hoodie still up so you couldn’t touch his hair. God, did he want you to ran your hands through his curls though, you rubbed his back though drawing little circles with your fingers. The silent art store was now filled with soft melodies and Peter crying.

“Do you know how much you mean to me? How much you make my heart flutter? The nervousness when you’re so close to my face that I could just kiss you.” Peter looks up you embracing his face seeing the red puffy eyes.

“I like you so much. Drawing cute doodles in that notebook even if they were terrible, they were how I felt.” Peter’s weak voice from the crying grabbing the notebook from the backpack he brought along with him.

“Well funny you say that.” You rubbed the back of your neck, Peter sniffing when you turned around your canvas. The famous underside down kiss, but you had practiced a whole shit ton at home before this so the painting came out decent. The vibrant colors, the deep red of his suit and he saw you drew you embracing his face pulling him into that kiss.

He could tell who it was and that made him feel like cloud 9. You waited for a response of anything till Peter chuckled the weak voice slowly going away.

“I know I’m not a John but will you go out with me Peter?” Embracing him once again, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. The dry tears leaving marks and the bright smile coming from his face. It was worth the practice and the waiting.

“Of course. A 100% yes.”

#peter parker x male reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #spiderman #spiderman x male reader #spiderman x reader #marvel

[splendidlyimperfect]

Gray hasn’t seen Natsu in years - not since he moved away with his boyfriend Joel and Natsu stopped texting him. A chance run-in at a bar brings Natsu back into Gray’s life, but the encounter puts Gray in danger when Joel finds out. Natsu quickly realizes that Gray’s stuck in a cycle of violence, and wants to help him escape. But leaving isn’t that easy, and sometimes loving someone might not be enough. 

Chapter Summary:  Gray faces a truth that he doesn't want to deal with. Sting and Natsu both try to help.

Chapters (12/22):  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Gray Fullbuster/Original Male Character(s) Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rape Aftermath, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Natsu just wants to help, but Gray feels like he can’t leave, Non-Linear Narrative, Trans Character, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, ftlgbtpride2019, Coming Out, First Love, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise

**TW for discussion of abuse/emotional reactions to abuse, suicidal thoughts

-----

being good isn’t always easy

sus·pi·cion | \ sə-ˈspi-shən noun :  a state of mental uneasiness and uncertainty

.

xi july

.

“How many times do I have to block these goddamn assholes?”

Lucy tosses her phone down on the table in the break room, and Gray peeks over to see a toll-free number flashing across the screen. He frowns, taking another bite of his sandwich and pulling his legs up under him on the chair.

“Who is it?”

“One of those stupid scams,” Lucy grumbles, pulling her hair back into a ponytail, then grabbing her coffee from the counter. “You’ve won an all-expenses paid vacation, blah, blah.” She rolls her eyes, then picks up the phone and opens up her call history. “I’ve blocked like... eight different numbers, but they keep finding new ones.”

Gray watches as she taps the number, then scrolls down and clicks ‘block.’

His stomach twists, like the floor’s disappeared from beneath him and he’s in free-fall.

“Anyway,” Lucy says, tucking her phone back in her pocket. “Are you and Joel coming to the barbecue next week?”

The words are just background noise to the sudden jumbled mess in Gray’s mind. A hundred thoughts float through his brain, and he jumps so quickly from surprise to suspicion to disbelief that it’s almost dizzying. Eventually he settles on unease.

“Graaay.” Lucy waves a hand in front of his face and he blinks, shaking his head. “Dude, you’re so out of it lately. You okay?”

“Fine,” he says automatically. “Just tired.”

Would Joel seriously... no. That’s ridiculous.

“How’s your shoulder?” Lucy asks, and Gray forces himself to focus on their conversation.

Continue reading on AO3

“Better,” he says carefully. It seems like an innocent question, but Lucy is sharp. Gray knows that she suspects something, but they’re both good at pretending.

Some days, Gray can almost convince himself that everything is fine. Natsu’s gone – they haven’t talked since that day at the beach, and Gray’s spent the last few months shoving the hurt and longing deep down where he doesn’t have to feel it.

Gray is loyal to Joel. Joel loves him. Joel takes care of him.

“You get the car fixed?” Lucy asks, swirling the dregs of her coffee before draining the cup in one long gulp. The AC rumbles in the background as it kicks into high gear – the summer has been sweltering, and Gray’s already wishing it was September.

He blinks at Lucy’s question, and she frowns at him. “The car,” she repeats. “You got rear-ended? Joel said the bumper was cracked.”

Oh, Gray thinks.

“Yeah,” he lies. “Insurance got figured out.”

The car is just fine. Nobody rear-ended them. Joel had been driving and yelling, and had slammed on the brakes hard enough to lock the seatbelt and bruise Gray’s shoulder. He’d said later that it was because he saw a cat crossing the street.

Gray wants to believe him.

Eventually, Lucy’s break is up and she heads back to the front of the restaurant. As soon as she disappears, Gray pulls his phone from his pocket. The only notification is an e-mail from the grocery store savings program, and he numbly swipes it open and deletes it.

He clicks on his contacts, then scrolls down to Natsu’s name. It’s still there under his old number, and Gray hesitates for just a second before clicking on the three little dots next to it.

773-555-3556 Unblock number

Gray stares at the phone until the words start to blur, and he realizes his hands are shaking and he’s barely breathing.

“No,” he whispers, finger hovering over the message before clicking ‘unblock.’

He quickly goes back and scrolls to Erza’s name, and part of him isn’t surprised to find the same message. He unblocks her as well, then sets his phone down on the table and covers his mouth with both hands.

“He wouldn’t,” he says to nobody. Nothing feels real. He can’t stop shaking. “H-he… no, there’s another explanation.”

There isn’t, part of his mind whispers. He wanted to keep you apart, and it worked.

-----

Over the next few weeks, Gray bounces between so many emotions that he’s left worn out and dizzy. At first, he tries to convince himself that it’s a mistake, that maybe something’s wrong with his phone. Or maybe Natsu and Erza blocked him, and somehow that showed up on his end as well.

The angry part of him knows that none of that makes sense, and desperately wants to confront Joel, to ask him why, to make the accusation and deal with the consequences.

The rest of him is terrified, and as much as Gray tries to keep it hidden, he knows he's failing miserably. Lucy’s on his case almost every day, asking why he’s not eating, or why he looks so sick all the time. He feels bad for being so short with her, but he’s too tired to lie, and he can’t tell her the truth.

“You don’t look so great.”

It’s Tuesday afternoon, so Sting is at the restaurant again. He comes in two or three times a week now and orders the same thing every time – coffee and a slice of pie. Gray’s almost certain that Natsu asked Sting to watch out for him, but Sting’s so likeable and friendly that Gray can’t find it in himself to be upset.

“Gray? You okay?” Sting’s frowning at him and Gray blinks, shaking his head.

“Yeah, it’s... I’ve just been sick,” he says. “I’m fine.” He forces himself to smile as he hands Sting his receipt and fills up his coffee.

“Rogue came down with something last week, too,” Sting says. His police radio crackles and Gray jumps at the sound, quickly trying to play the reaction off as an awkward nod while he backs away from the table.

When he comes back later, Sting is gone, his receipt and a few bills tucked under his coffee mug. Gray grabs it all, frowning when he notices something written on the paper. He quickly finishes clearing off the table, then slips into the bathroom, taking the note out and unfolding it.

If you need help and you can’t tell someone, ask me if I want decaf coffee next time I'm here. I'll know what you mean and do what I can to help. People care about you. ~Sting

Gray sits down heavily on the seat of the toilet, reading and re-reading the note. If he wasn’t so exhausted, he’s sure he would feel something, but all he can do is stare numbly at the words.

Joel cares about me, he thinks, but the thought is fragile – if he tries too hard to believe it, it’ll shatter.

A knock on the door startles him, and he quickly balls up the note, shoving it into the garbage beneath wads of paper towel.

“Gray? You okay?” Lucy sounds concerned, and Gray sighs.

“I’ll be right out, I’m fine,” he says, standing up and staring at his reflection in the mirror. He looks like shit. His hair’s messy and his eyes are red, and he can just see the edge of the bruise on his shoulder with the collar of his shirt open. When he buttons the shirt back up, he notices that his nails are bitten down so far that one of them is bleeding.

“I’m fine,” he whispers again. Maybe if he says it enough times, it’ll eventually be true.

-----

Gray has Natsu’s new phone number memorized. He read it a hundred times before he’d burned Natsu’s note from the night at the bar. Now he types it slowly into his phone, feeling a sense of unease and guilt run through him as he opens up a message window.

He shouldn’t be doing this. He promised Joel, said he wouldn’t talk to Natsu, said he’d be good and listen and do the things that make Joel happy.

But Joel said he wouldn’t hit Gray again, so maybe both of their promises mean nothing.

Gray [16:45] Hey. It’s me.

A response comes less than two minutes later.

Natsu [16:46] hey! ive been thinking about you, im so happy you texted. you doing okay?

Gray curls up further into the corner of the couch and reaches down to pet Bella. He starts to type out a reply and then hesitates. Joel already has access to Gray’s phone – he occasionally flips through Gray’s texts or e-mails while they’re watching movies or while Gray is cooking. But if Gray deletes the messages, Joel will never know.

Gray [16:47] You were right. Your number was blocked in my phone. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.

Almost immediately after sending the message, his phone starts to ring, and Gray jumps at the sound, heart pounding as he hits the ‘decline’ button. If Natsu’s number shows up on the phone bill…

Gray [16:48] Can’t talk on the phone.

Gray [16:48] He’ll find out.

It hurts to type the words, and it’s even harder to press ‘send.’ Writing it is an admission that Gray’s terrified to make, because it means Natsu is right, and Joel is…

Gray shakes his head, setting his phone down in his lap and rubbing his face with both hands. Bella whines and tips her head back, panting at him until he scratches behind her ears.

Natsu [16:49] are you safe?

The words make Gray want to cry, because there’s no good answer. At the moment? Yes. In an hour, when Joel gets home? Who knows. The uncertainty always stretches Gray thin, anxiety spiraling into panic until the door opens and he can see what kind of day Joel’s had.

Gray groans, tipping his head back into the couch cushions and staring at the patterns on the stipple ceiling. He can see the bouquet Joel bought him last week from the corner of his eye, and he tries to bring back the way he felt when Joel came home with flowers and a bottle of wine, apologizing for being grumpy.

Gray’s phone buzzes again and he stares at the message for a while before responding.

Natsu [16:51] gray, im so glad you reached out, but im really scared for you

Gray [16:55] I'm okay right now. He's not home.

Natsu [16:55] would you tell me if you needed help?

Gray [16:58] I’m fine.

Natsu [16:58] but if you werent, you know im here right?

Gray [17:00] You’re three hours away.

Natsu [17:01] then id be there in 3 hours. if you need me, ill be there. i promise, no matter what.

Natsu [17:01] if you need someone sooner than 3 hours, this is sting’s phone # and he can help you before i get there

Natsu [17:01] Shared Contact: Sting Eucliffe (SE)

Gray clicks on the contact and a local phone number comes up, along with an email and an address. It’s not far from where Gray lives. His thumb hovers over the ‘add contact’ button, then he shakes his head and runs the numbers through his head over and over until he has them memorized.

Gray [17:06] Okay. I have to delete this. You can’t text me or call me. I'll text you when I can.

Natsu [17:06] take care of yourself. im always, always here.

Gray [17:07] I know.

Then Gray erases the conversation, and deletes the missed call from Natsu as well. Once the words are gone, he feels hollow. Unreal.

He sets his phone on the coffee table and nudges Bella off his legs, then moves over to the dining room table and stares at the flowers. They’re pink roses, soft and sweet in a way that Joel hasn’t been in years.

Pink like the scar that runs across the palm of Gray’s hand, from a broken plate that Joel had thrown.

A sudden, hot, electric shock of anger runs through Gray, and he slams his hands on the table, biting back a scream of frustration. Everything is tangled up inside him, and he lets out a shaky breath as he tries to figure out how to push it all back down again, where everything is separate and safe.

He wants so badly to blame Natsu. Before the night at the bar, none of it was complicated. When Gray was careful, Joel was happy. Most of the time.

It’s not Natsu’s fault, though. It’s Joel’s, and no matter how much Gray tries to ignore it, the quiet, angry part of him knows it’s true.

Everybody fights, he thinks desperately, digging his fingernails into his palms.

Sure, but they don’t have to lie to the ER about why they need stitches, the angry part of him argues. Or lie to their friends. Or themselves.

“Fuck!" Gray shouts, lashing out and knocking the vase off the table. It falls to the floor and shatters into tiny shards of glass and shredded rose petals.

Gray sinks down to his knees and reaches out slowly, picking up the largest broken piece and inspecting its sharp edges. The anger is gone as quickly as it came, and all that’s left behind is a dull detachment.

At least now he doesn’t have to worry about what kind of mood Joel will be in when he gets home.

#fairy tail #ftlgbtales #ftlgbtfics #ftlgbtpride2019 #day 13 #gratsu #natray #gray x natsu #gray fullbuster #natsu dragneel #update #new chapter #prompt #my fic #abuse #mind the warnings

[changji]

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

-

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

#read more... again #we can write a whole fic w our convos LOL #queen ada 💞 #mutuals #asks

[agentdagonet]

The Demon Lo

Tagging @elletromil and @insanereddragon 

Find it here on AO3

Am I really going to summon a fucking demon to get Harry back?

Yes I fucking am.

         Eggsy’d spaced out the purchases of supplies, as if things like planks of wood and paint and candles were somehow illicit. He looked down at the Book, the one reptilian eye gazing back from the cover, and then glanced around the room. The windows were fully covered, the wood barely visible in the candlelight; the carpet pulled up to reveal the wood beneath, upon which the Circle was painted- an inverted pentagram, surrounded by a snake eating its own tail, and outside of that six tall white candles placed equidistant from each other. There were other things drawn in the spaces between pentacle and snake, the small can of paint, and a paintbrush. The property damage would probably cost him his life’s savings and then some, but it would be worth it.

         Harry was worth everything.

         Eggsy sat himself in the middle of the Circle, and took a deep breath before opening the Book. Counting to himself, he glanced back and forth from the floor, making sure that each thing was perfect. He turned the page, and cursed to himself before scrambling up from the floor and dashing into the kitchen, knocking a candle over in his haste.

         Can’t summon a demon without blood, after all.

         Reseating himself, Eggsy stared blankly into the distance. Am I really going to summon a fucking demon to get Harry back? He looked longingly at the front door, imagining for a moment that Harry would simply stroll through as if he hadn’t been gone for nearly half a year. He couldn’t imagine continuing on as if he had never existed, since no one else seemed to think it was a big deal that he’d gone missing. Maybe he just got tired of you, Eggsy, it ain’t like you’re anythin’ special. Ryan had said, knocking one shoulder with his own and laughing. He and Jamal had tried a lot of shit to cheer him up, but Eggsy couldn’t forget him.

         His chestnut hair, the little wrinkles at the edges of his eyes and mouth, his penchant for soft-yet-ugly cardigans and bitter tea… his dark sense of humour, the earnest way he offered to run someone through for insulting him, the glint in his eye just before he did something he ought not to and managed to pass the blame on to some hapless passerby. Harry had been gone for just about as long as Eggsy had known him, and yet he couldn’t remember what his life was like before he stumbled into it.

         Yes I fucking am.

         He pushed the Book off to one side, revealing a painted eye, and took a sharp breath as he dragged the blade across his left palm. He compulsively closed his hand as the blood welled up, as if pressure alone could seal the wound, but didn’t move it from above the eye. This was important, so Eggsy lifted the book into one hand, leaving his blood dripping into the eye from the other, and began to chant.

‘Bin tu Skamp Li

Bin Ramé freey Li

Crem list skamp Li

Lo

Fige grest ramé tu

Fige whuhd solk

Bin Crame cramé ot

Lo

Bin Crame cramé ot

Lo

Bin Crame cramé ot

Lo!’

         He paused, looking about wide-eyed at the empty apartment, but nothing had changed. No one was there. Not like he knew what a demon would look like, anyway, but still. Eggsy put down the book, running one finger over the words written there. Had he pronounced them wrong? Maybe google wasn’t the best way to check pronunciation of words he did not know the language of, but it’s not as if he could walk into a bookshop and ask how to pronounce this demon summoning ritual because that’s something that would easily raise a few eyebrows, and likely get his head examined. He turned the page, wondering if there was more he had not  seen, and instead came across visual instructions.

         ‘Stab the bloody eye? Alrigh’ I guess.’ Grabbing the knife he had set aside earlier firmly in his uninjured hand, Eggsy stabbed it firmly into the floor. Of course it did not stick- for all the sharpness of the blade, the tip was dull. Kitchenware. But the candles went out in a gust of wind that simply was not possible from within his sealed apartment, and he knew he had accomplished something- whether it was the desired result remained to be seen.

         ‘The fuck’s my lighter?’ Eggsy patted down his pockets, eventually pulling free a small lighter and relit the candles. In the dim light, Eggsy was not  sure what was coming toward him- only that something was, close to the ground, accompanied by a sound not unlike a Jurassic Park raptor for whatever reason. It had slow, wet, footsteps, followed by something not  unlike dragging a bag across dead leaves. The closer it got the more distinct the dinosaur noises became.

         Moaning. Pained, inhuman, moaning getting nearer with every passing moment.

         The candles showed an increasingly disturbing image- the torso of a man, skin waxy and grey like a corpse, whose arms were covered in a stringy mould. Its bald head had no back, instead gaping open grotesquely, and when the creature finally looked up the eyes were sunken in and the lipless mouth idly dripped blood. It had no nose, and its skin reminded Eggsy of the infected people from Waters of Mars- and Eggsy would have chuckled if he had not  been desperately gasping for breath in a bid not to pass out from sheer panic.

         He had actually managed to summon a demon, and now he had to finish it- or die trying.

--

         It’s for Harry he repeated to himself like a mantra is it got closer at the end of all this you will have Harry back and you will live happily ever after. Realistically, Eggsy knew that that was unlikely- even his friendships had bad times- but he needed to see this through.

         The creature leaned forward, far too close for comfort, and laughed slowly. It reverberated as if in a cavern, tri-toned and ominous, as his rancid breath hit Eggsy’s face.

         ‘A-a-a-are you th-the demon Lo? You the demon Lo?’

         ‘I. Am. That.’ The voice was hoarse, rumbling, and his breath was no better than it was a second before.

         ‘You-you have. Great power?’

         ‘This. I. Know.’ He lifted one webbed hand for a moment, summoning for itself a small green creature, rat-like but not a rat, and slowly closed his fist. The rat-thing curled in on itself, squealing, before the skull popped with a wet noise. Lo opened his hand, blew across the palm, and his eyes seemed to light up for a moment. ‘This, I know.’ He laughed again, the vastness of the room slowly fading, and Eggsy felt lightheaded from trying not to gag.

         ‘Now clean the shit from your trousers and tell me what you want.’ Lo propped himself on his elbows, hands clasped together, and tilted his head to one side. Remarkably like a girl at a sleepover, or chatting on the phone, in a film.

         ‘A- a man.’

         ‘You summoned me for love ?’

         ‘Yes.’ As if there were anything else worth risking a soul for. Lo lifted himself onto his hands, leaning close to the Circle but not crossing it, and glared harshly at Eggsy.

         ‘You would utilise my great power over such… human trivialities?’

         ‘You- you have to do what I say. That’s what the Book said.’

         ‘Oh, look at you pretending to be brave. What’s your name?’

         ‘Eg-Gary. Gary.’ Names had power, in all the old faerie stories, and panic was no excuse to give a demon the name he felt was his own. He doubted it would mean much- he was protected, inside the Circle, after all- but still. It would help keep him focused on getting Harry back.

         ‘Well that’s an awful name, far too breakfast-y. Doesn't suit your inevitable future at all! Allow me to fit you in something more bespoke ... Dinner.’ Lo’s head tilted at an angle that made his gaping mouth almost seem to smirk, one hand gesturing in his general direction. Eggsy swallowed thickly.

         ‘It's Gary.’

         ‘Dinner, you have to let go of the past-’ Lo pointed with one thick finger, looking for all the world like one of those Uncle Sam posters he had seen on Tumblr.

         ‘I summoned you, yeah? You gotta do what I say- obey my charge or whatever the book said.’ Shoulders back, neck straight, meet their eyes- everything Harry had told him about talking with someone he was intimidated by. Someone he thought better than himself for whatever fucking reason- or, he guessed, someone he was absolutely scared shitless of.

         ‘While that may technically true, but that does not mean that I have to respect you- and if given the opportunity I would wholeheartedly make your new name a prophecy fulfilled.’

         ‘I-I am no’ afraid of you.’ Maybe it was a stupid idea to deny the obvious to a powerful demon, Eggsy thought to himself as Lo reared back. The room shook, and Eggsy had a split second thought to his neighbours banging on his door demanding an explanation for all the racket.

         ‘Yes. You are.’

         ‘Well it would be fucking stupid not to be, yeah? You’s a demon and I'm not even just a person but an estates kid without any connections or silver spoons to beg from. But I've got the Book, and I've got this Circle, and you just said you got to do what I say so stop goin’ on your fuckin’ power trip and listen to me.’ Eggsy took a deep breath, instantly regretting it when he could taste the demon rot in the air, and glared defiantly at Lo.

         Who summarily ignored his statements and was blandly looking about the room.

         ‘Where the fuck am I?’

         ‘My flat. The estates.’

         ‘Oooooooh, dramatic!’ Lo waved one hand about flamboyantly, looking back to Eggsy with the skin above one eye socket raised. A parody of a raised brow, mouth pulled up to one side, he tilted his head. ‘Mind if I make a few… changes?’ He did not give Eggsy a chance to respond before flicking his wrist and looking up to the ceiling, a pale blue spotlight landing on him with an angelic choir backing his dramatic turn back to Eggsy. ‘Where’d a kid like you get a book like that, exactly?’

         ‘I ain’t a kid- and… it ain’t mine.’

         ‘No, really? And here I had you pegged for a proper Warlock.’

         ‘It belonged to ‘im.’ Eggsy was back on task, and pulled a photo from the back cover of the Book. Harry, smiling widely and failing to hide that smile behind a coffee mug, taken their first morning together. The first time Eggsy’d realised there was a hole in his life that had just been filled.

         ‘I could say he was handsome, but I would be lying- it's not a very good picture, is it?’

         ‘Do you know ‘im?’ Ask questions plainly, demand plain answers in return. Harry’s words echoed in his mind. But Lo shook his head, looking off to one side and refusing to make eye contact.

         ‘No.’

         ‘You’re lying!’

         ‘I warn you, Dinner- trying to get a read on a demon is a thorny game; we don’t play by your human rules.’

         ‘You took him.’ Confidence is key; don’t flounder in the face of what you don’t understand.

         ‘I took him?’

         ‘Well, maybe not you specifically but you fucking demons did. Your People, or whatever the fuck you call yourselves.’

         ‘I knew you were racist-’

         ‘Look, Harry was taken by some… some thing and I’ve got the scars to prove it.’ Eggsy angrily pulled off his shirt, balling it in his fist. There were deep red scars across his torso, reminiscent of the tears through canvas in Beauty and the Beast. They’ve seemingly healed, but still had the angry tinge of infection- and the stiff way Eggsy was sitting is suddenly attributed to more than nerves.

         ‘You sure it wasn’t a wolf? A bear? Perhaps a particularly angry thorned bush?’

         ‘I’m not a fucking idiot- I may be a speck on this planet, a bit of dust you’re gonna outlive and watch decay, but I’m not dumb enough to summon a fucking demon if I weren’t sure that’s what took him. It took him, and I was dying, but I woke up and Harry was still gone.’

         ‘It took him, it took him, my Harry's gone,’ Lo mocked, voice high pitched and hand waving about aimlessly, ‘look, I’ll give you some free advice: page 303. Close this ridiculous venture before I get hungry. Give up, and move on.’

         Eggsy kept eye contact with the hideous creature, and instead of turning the pages as instructed he instead pulled the photo from the book and shut it. Eggsy tapped the cover with two fingers, almost glaring at Lo, and spoke softly, ‘I’m not leaving here without him.’

         It was an eternity later that Lo shook his head, breaking their eye contact and sighing sadly.

         ‘Look, Dinner, I’m only going to say this once more- if what you’re saying’s true, and I’m sure it is, then you’re fucked. Raw and hard. You don’t just get out of Hell.’

         ‘Then I want to see him, and we’ll figure out the rest together.’

         ‘Well it’s not as if I know the man-’

         ‘His name’s Harry, he’s-’

         ‘Yes, yes, I know- he’s the moon and stars in the sky, the wind beneath your wings, and the rain that brings the flowers. Look, I am positive that you two had a deep and pure emotional connection,’ Lo sneered, ‘but Hell isn’t a park or some small town isolated from the rest of creation. It’s a large place, with more within than you could count in your lifetime, that’s been around since the dawn of your pathetic species. And we don’t keep records.’

         ‘Then I’ll wait.’

         ‘What?’ Lo looked at him incredulously.

         ‘I’ll stay right here while you go and look for ‘im. He’s worth it, and he’d’ve done the same for me.’

         ‘For how long? Until your need to piss and shit drives you to close the circle because of your human sensibilities? Until your body gives out, and you faint from malnutrition and inevitably cross the paltry protection you’ve painted? And let us not forget my own schedule, it’s not as if demons sit idly.’ Lo turned his face away, and began making as if to leave.

         ‘I’m in charge here, ain’t I?’ Lo grunted, but continued to pull himself away from Eggsy. ‘Oi, I’m not talkin’ to the air here- I’m the master and you’ve got to do as I say!’

         ‘The thing you ask for is IMPOSSIBLE!’ Lo growled, glaring at Eggsy as he twisted impossibly backward to address him. He would have shuddered, if he hadn’t been so determined to not show weakness.

         ‘An’ yet I’m still askin’ for it. So you’ve got to at least try. ’ Lo froze, growled low in his throat and then roared at Eggsy. The circle only protected him from physical threats, and the smell of rancid meat washed over him like an unfortunate rainstorm. He closed his eyes, waited for the ringing in his ears to stop, and determinedly stared Lo down. ‘I’m waiting.’

         ‘Frightened children ought not play with pentagrams; weren’t you ever warned against Ouija boards?’

         ‘Mighta been, but once impossible shit started happening I threw those rules out the window.’

         ‘If you so much as scrape the edge of your circle with your toes I will swallow you whole and you will have the pleasure of enduring a 90 year digestion. The acids in my stomach are unforgiving, and an idiotic specimen like yourself will likely cause some indigestion, but I am willing to make that sacrifice.’ Lo rears back, snake-like, twisting his head from side to side as if deciding from which angle to strike. Eggsy lifted the picture once again, as if his first instructions to the demon were simply forgotten as opposed to rebelled against.

         Lo rolled himself partially onto his back and cursed at the ceiling before turning back to Eggsy. He smiled, or as close as he could get without lips or teeth. ‘Harry!’ There was obviously an exasperated air to the exclamation, but Eggsy couldn’t hope for better than that from this arsehole of a demon.

         ‘Harry. Hart.’

         ‘Like that thing that keeps your soul in you and outside of Hell?’

         ‘Like a deer, actually.’

         ‘Well that’s a stupid name for a human- why name someone after physical traits and animals?’ Lo muttered seemingly to himself, though it was just loud enough for Eggsy to hear. ‘Tell me about him.’ He propped his head on his hands, blinking innocently, and Eggsy was struck by the image of teens gossiping.

         ‘Just find him, what do you need me talkin’ about him for?’

         ‘I’m simply trying to fulfil your request, master. The better versed I am in your arthurian knight, the better equipped I’ll be in parsing out which he is amongst the trillions of bits of dark matter that float about in eternal torment.’

         ‘Oh.’ Eggsy didn’t want to think about what Harry must be enduring, what horrors he must have been facing since he’d been taken, but the reminder did nothing if not motivate him into sharing.

         ‘Precisely. Oh.’

         ‘What d’you need to know, then?’

         ‘Details. Emotional ones, a full dossier, as much as you can pull from your miniscule brain. I want to feel as you do; I need to feel the pain that’s driven you to me.’

         ‘Uh, well, he’s nearly 2 metres, mid fifties, light brown hair with silver at the edges-’

         ‘STOP.’ Eggsy’s mouth clicked shut, teeth grinding against one another as he did his best not to panic. ‘For fuck’s sake, Dinner, how dim can you get? I said emotional details. I want to know how you met, how you ate, how you fought and kissed, fucked and spoke and insulted and loved.’ Lo spat the last word like a curse. ‘I’m not casting a film, I don’t need his resume- what I need is everything.’

         ‘So… you want details .’ Eggsy stuttered, simultaneously disgusted by having to share his desires with a demon and relieved that what he asked for was so simple to share. It wasn’t like he was comfortable with it, but there were worse things than reminiscing about the man he loved with a Demon. He assumed.

         ‘Yes,’ Lo pointed at Eggsy, ‘thank you for joining the rest of the class.’

         ‘You want to know how we first met?’

         ‘By George, I think he’s got it!’

         ‘Don’t you quote My Fair Lady at me- anyway, I was on break at the Prince-’ There’s a great whooshing sound, and Lo’s attention is drawn to a spot behind Eggsy. Turning around, there’s a projection on the wall matching Eggsy’s memory. The dim lighting, the quiet bustle of the pub, and there- Eggsy, sat alone in a booth, staring out the window with a dish of chips on the table. Eggsy, sat in the circle, looked toward Lo in question, one brow raised.

         ‘It’s flashback time!’ Lo lifted one arm from the ground, giving some jazz hands in a manner Eggsy could only describe as sarcastic. ‘Ta-da!’

         ‘That’s me? But I haven’t told you anythin’ yet!’

         ‘No, that’s me and my phenomenal cosmic powers pulling the thoughts from your brain and projecting them onto that wall.’ Eggsy looked at Lo in horror- he could pull the thoughts from his mind? He could read his mind this whole time? ‘I know, right?’ Lo seemingly misinterpreted his silence for awe, pulling a bowl of popcorn from seemingly nowhere. ‘Now keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open- and let’s see what happens.’

--

         There was something inherently fascinating about seeing himself from the outside. Eggsy hadn’t realised how depressed he’d looked, staring idly out the window and running a finger along the rim of his pint, completely ignoring his chips. From the edge of the projection, Harry walked into view, stunning in his suit and carrying a briefcase the way one would carry an explosive- with great care.

         ‘Hello.’ Harry was staring intently at the chips on the table, but his eyes flickered toward Eggsy every few moments.

         ‘Uhm, hi?’ Eggsy looked briefly from the window, visibly doing a double take when he actually bothered to take in the man before him.

         ‘Are those any good, here?’

         ‘I guess?’ In truth Eggsy hadn’t even touched them, though he liked them plenty on the regular, and he wished he could remember what he’d been looking at before the man stood before him.

         ��Would it be terribly impolite of me to try one?’ Eggsy could only stare dumbfounded at the man, whose suit easily displayed the differences in their lifestyles, ‘your silence says yes, sorry about that-

         ‘Wait!’ Eggsy blurted, mouth obviously ahead of his brain by the shock in his eyes, ‘You can try some, if you want.’

         ‘That sounds lovely.’ Harry tucked himself gracefully into the bench across from Eggsy, setting the brief beside him before reaching deftly toward the plate. The first chip seemed to bring Harry to life, as he closed his eyes and nearly moaned. ‘ Shit this is divine!’  Harry’s mouth was still full, but Eggsy couldn’t find it in himself to be disgusted. Harry reached again, this time taking several, and shoved them into his mouth like a toddler.

         ‘Would you like some fresh?’ There was something entrancing about seeing a man so wholly enjoy something so simple. Eggsy couldn’t look away, and even cracked a grin at the way the man’s head nodded enthusiastically. He called over to the bar, gesturing for another round, and turned back to watch Harry eat. The man was so focused on the flavours in his mouth, eyes closed, and Eggsy couldn’t help but drink him in.

         ‘I thought you was eating alone, Eggy?’ Rottie dropped the plate the last couple inches to the table, causing a couple chips to fall off.

         ‘I am- or, well, I was- that a problem?’ Rottie rolled his eyes, looked at Harry like he was a particularly fascinating bit of shit on the ground, and walked off. Eggsy looked back to Harry, eyes wide when he realised how much of the cold chips he’d devoured in the course of that small conversation. Harry noticed his look, and seemed to come back to himself.

         ‘Oh, shit, I do apologise. I didn’t mean to-’

         ‘Don’t sweat it, honest. I wasn’t all that hungry anyway. I did order some more, though, so feel free to stick around.’ Eggsy lightly pushed the warm dish in his direction.

         ‘I don’t remember to eat very often, much more important things to me done- though I’m trying to break that habit.’ Harry shovelled the last of the cold chips into his mouth, but not before looking toward the door.

         ‘Mate, are you avoiding summat?’

         ‘Well, I’m on the run, if that’s what you’re asking- but nothing to worry about.’ Eggsy gaped at the man, mouth open to offer a listening ear if nothing else, when the man began to chuckle. ‘No, dear boy, I’m not in any kind of trouble- I simply admired the way you were holding yourself. Stunning- though I will admit, I was spurred to action by the chips sitting ignored in front of you.’

         Eggsy laughed nervously, looked about the pub as if searching for some hidden camera, before asking, ‘well, how was I holding myself, then?’

         The man across from him was still for a moment, and then slouched slightly; he turned his head slightly toward the window, allowed his lips to turn slightly upward, and seemed to soften his eyes somehow. The light hit him at such an angle that the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were simultaneously highlighted and breathtaking, the shadow of his glasses somehow highlighting his cheekbones.

         Eggsy forgot to breathe.

         The man straightened himself back up, the world restarted, and Eggsy giggled.

         ‘You’re laughing at yourself?’

         ‘Well I doubt I looked half as elegant as you, but yeah. This whole moment’s a bit funny to me-’

         ‘How so?’

         ‘You’ve got to be at least twenty years older than me, never seen you ‘round here before so you’re new, you took notice of a pleb like me and just started talkin’, and then you act as if you’ve never has chips before-’

         ‘I haven’t, until today- I must say I enjoy them far better hot than cool.’ Harry looked so earnest, it was hard not to laugh- so he huffed a breath instead.

         ‘See, that! That right there is ridiculous how can anyone not’ve had chips before?’ Instead of seeming hurt, the man seemed pleased, and leant forward a fraction.

         ‘I had a rather… secluded upbringing. My family was very particular in what was what, and until this morning I had never thought to try the things they’d forbidden me. So this,’ Harry grabbed a chip, and smiled, ‘is my rebellion.’

         ‘You’re a bit old for rebellion- ain’t that a teenager thing?’

         ‘And yet you don’t strike me as very conforming yourself- and that’s… oddly wonderful.’

         ‘I can about guarantee there ain’t anythin’ wonderful about me- but I don’t like rules much.’ Eggsy smiled, ran one hand up the back of his head before suddenly remembering himself and offering his hand. ‘I’m Eggsy, by the way.’

         ‘Eggy?’

         ‘Nah, mate, with an s. Eggsy.’

         ‘Eggsy… Eggsy …’ Harry seemed to be rolling the name about his mouth like posh folk tasted wine- and he seemed poshh enough so maybe he was. ‘Peculiar. I like it.’

         ‘Thanks- and you are...?’

         ‘I am what?’ The man blinks, doe eyed, and Eggsy can’t help the laugh bubbling out of him again.

         ‘Your name, can’t keep calling you chips-man in my head.’ Eggsy joked, and Harry’s eyes widened for a moment before he began muttering to himself; though Eggsy of the present, sat in the circle, could hear him plain as day.

         ‘Eyesearsmouthnosehair- Harry.’ Only the last was said loud enough for Eggsy-at-the-table to hear, and they shook hands.

         ‘STOP!’ Lo roared, and the memory froze. Lo had one hand raised and was waving it about not unlike Hermione Granger. ‘Oh! Ohh pick me, pick me! Dinner, pick me, I have a question!’ Eggsy looked over to the demon, and raised an eyebrow. ‘Did your sugar daddy just make up his name?’

         Eggsy looked down, unable to really dispute Lo with the given facts, but remembered suddenly- demon. ‘He weren't no sugar daddy, and you’re trying to trick me. Get me to go along with whatever it is you think about him so I’ll just let you go!’ Lo scoffed.

         ‘Tricking you? If that were my intention it would be far plainer- for example,’ Lo flicked his wrist, and the figures from the memory began to move again. Harry leant over the table fully, grabbed at the front of Eggsy’s shirt and pulled him across the table and slammed their mouths together. Eggsy flailed for a moment before draping his arm over Harry’s shoulders and giving all his weight to the older man.

         ‘Stop. Just- stop.’

         ‘What? Things not going according to plan?’

         ‘Play the scene right, or don’t do it at all. I thought you needed to know him like I did?’

         ‘That’s your responsibility, not mine. And you need to be open to seeing things a bit… differently. Experiencing your life in the moment is far different from remembering it.’ Lo gestured toward the memory, reset to the two men shaking hands above the tabletop.

         ‘Great to meet you, Harry- I’m gonna go settle my tab and head out. Got to get back to work.’

         ‘Why? That sounds tedious.’ Harry cocked his head to one side, as if genuinely confused by the notion of working, and it set Eggsy snapped.

         ‘Not everyone gets shit on a silver platter, Harry. We have to fucking work for it, and keep going when it look like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel because people are bloody counting on us. If people in their ivory towers,’ Eggsy mocked, ‘knew even a fraction of what us regular people do to get by, if they really got it, this place,’ he swung his arm, gesturing aimlessly, ‘would be so much better.’

         ‘The protection of one’s own is, of course, invaluable- I apologise for causing offense.’ Harry pulled the briefcase closer to himself, scooting to the end of the table as if to leave, and Eggsy deflated.

         ‘No, no I’m sorry. I didn’ mean to go off on you like that. I forgot myself for a moment there;’ Eggsy hunched in on himself, both hands in pockets, ‘what’s in the case? Sorry, not my place-’

         ‘A collection of sheets with writing on them- terribly boring, I assure you.’

         ‘What, classified or somethin’?’

         ‘Or something.’ Harry smiled with closed lips, and something imperceptible changed. He could feel it. In the kitchen, a glass shattered, and Harry practically leapt to his feet. Eggsy flinched, took a step back, and Harry seemed to come to himself- though he still kept a tight grip on the briefcase. ‘I- I’m sorry…’ Harry fell back into the booth, head hung low, case tucked betwixt his legs, and sighed deeply. Eggsy looked torn, glancing between the door and the man he’d so strangely befriended several times before shaking his head, stepping forward.

         ‘You okay?’

--

         ‘Weird man.’ Lo spoke up from behind him, and Eggsy turned.

         ‘Well, yeah, he’s different- but tha’s part of why I fell arse over tit for him so quick. There ain’t nothing else like him.’

         ‘Fell? Humanity’s always so dramatic- you talk of love as if it’s a ten story drop. No wonder it always ends in tears- or,’ Lo paused, ‘in lost souls.’ He lifted a hand, and something in the air jerked Eggsy’s head to one side, which brought him face-to-cover with an old book. A familiar, old, book. The Tragic History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. Being held up by two long, green, fingers.

         The book lowered, and Eggsy jumped back- only by chance does he not leave the circle- the green hands belong to a bald, scaled man, with horns like a dinosaur and a short beak, whose eyes seem to be backward. The bits that should hold them inside of his head were dangling down his face, scraping the edge of his jaw, and Eggsy can’t bring himself to breathe for fear or retching.

         ‘What’re you gasping about? Oh, the face; you humans are always so disgusted by shit you don’t understand. Have you ever actually read this book, lad?’ The demon (for what else could he be?) tapped the front cover with a clawed finger, ‘It’s actually a comedy, if you read it right.’ He extended the hand that had been on the book, stopping just before the circle. ‘Pleasure.’

         Eggsy glanced at the hand before forcing himself to make back-of-eye contact with the demon, and shook his head.

         ‘So there’s a brain hidden behind the stupid face, well done.’ The hand pulled back, and the demon reached for the strands of innards that hung from his face before tugging on them sharply. There was a pop and Eggsy gagged, somehow unable to look away from the horrifying image of eyeballs being swung back and forth with nary a care before being shoved back into the scaled man’s head. He paused, looked pointedly at Eggsy, and sighed. ‘I put all this effort into my face and you can’t even pay me a compliment? And I had such hopes for our grand reunion.’

         ‘You-’

         ‘Correct; I’m the one who came ‘round and scooped your man from your arms and dragged him all. The. Way. Down.’

         ‘You’re the one that tried to kill me!’ Eggsy lifted his shirt, once again revealing the angry red across his torso, and the new demon examined it like a fine painting.

         ‘It’s Merlin to you- and It’s a pity you survived; that’s good work put to waste.’ Merlin gestured at Eggsy vaguely, ‘Your blood was like a fine brandy- something I needed to savour. ’ He lifted a hand, scraping fingers across his lip as if remembering the feel of flesh upon flesh.

         ‘You took Harry.’

         ‘I don’t enjoy repeating myself, lad, but yes. I did. And I was rewarded for it… handsomely.’ Merlin tapped a spot on his chest, and Eggsy was surprised to find a military uniform- a decorated one, with a series of medals he couldn’t figure out the meanings of if he tried. A green hand fingered a medal fondly, pink and gold with a V in the centre, as if to show Eggsy that this one was what he was given for dragging Harry into Hell.

         ‘Bring him back!’

         ‘I don’t think I will.’

         ‘Please!’

         ‘Not the kind of begging I’m after. You summoned Lo, not I, and I’m not at all inclined to do as you ask.’

         ‘Then I’ll-’ Eggsy pulled the Book from behind him, ‘I’ll summon you!’

         ‘And it seems the brain has leaked from between your ears- you can’t summon more than one demon at once! It would be like trying to save two people with one parachute- messy, improbable, but impressive if successful.’

         ‘Well, the fuck’re you here then if I ain’t your master?’

         ‘As if I would relinquish the chance to meet a celebrity- you’re the mortal that tamed the beast!’

         ‘What’re you on about?’

         ‘Don’t deny the facts, boy, you know what I mean.’ Merlin knelt closer, one clawed hand scraping the floor just beside the circle, ‘you know.

         ‘I’ve passed by and through and touched more humans than you could imagine- I’ve even held emotions for them. Disgust, pity, maybe a healthy bit of hunger;’ Merlin turned away, seemingly speaking into the abyss, ‘but the one thing I’ve never come close to feeling for a human is love. Oh, there were certainly a handful of physically attractive ones but they never survived long enough to enjoy ;’ He spat the last word, pointing at Eggsy accusingly, ‘that’s why it’s so strange.’

         ‘What’s strange?’

         ‘That it fell in love with you. ’

         ‘It?’

         ‘The thing you call Harry.’

         ‘Harry ain’t an it!’

         ‘Don’t interject without the facts, lad, it makes you look dumber than you already do. Foolhardy and ignorant- childish.’ Merlin smirked, or as close to an approximation of a smirk that a partially-beaked green scaled demon could accomplish. ‘I’m going to tell you a story, and maybe by the end of it you’ll have some brains.

         ‘Once upon a time, long before you lot made the stunning discovery that the world wasn’t flat, there was a war. It wasn’t the kind of war you’d keep histories of, there were few if any survivors and it was before recording events even became commonplace, but it was brutal. It was beautiful, and a demon wandering the remains stumbled upon one survivor- and stuffed his heart into a rock.

         ‘Demons are born from hatred, from suffering, from a desire to see retribution; that lone human was angry enough to spit fire- so the rock did. The man died, buried in the rubble, and his rage lived on- Harry lived on.’ Merlin paused, and somehow Eggsy was grateful for that- everything he knew told him to ignore everything the demon said, and yet… he spoke with such authority. Maybe it was only half true- maybe the story was true, but he was trying to make Eggsy believe it was Harry to make him let Lo go.

         That had to be it.

         ‘What left the battlefield that day became the gold standard for demons- Harry rewrote the rule book and set every record. He was a legend, still is in some circles, known for having no mercy and the highest soul count. He was born from a dying soldier’s lust for revenge, and had no use for the rest of the organ he’d been born from.

         ‘Until you.’

         ‘If Harry had no heart, no love, no mercy, then the fuck was he doing wandering about with this Book in a suitcase?’ Eggsy lifted the Book in one hand and glared accusingly at Merlin, who rolled his eyes (would they pop back out?) and knelt back to the ground.

         ‘At some point or another, something changed. He started caring,’ Merlin spat, and Eggsy wiped at his face, ‘he started trying to curtail visits topside. Tried to use what weight his name carried to change things, things that didn’t need changing, and he grew frustrated when no one wanted to follow him.’ Merlin shrugged with one shoulder, and looked away. ‘So he left, grabbed the Book and the case and ran as quietly as he could.

         ‘Had he not been the best, we’d have caught him before he made it topside; but he made it out, and we were left scrambling after him.’

         ‘The fuck’d you care that he didn’t want to do that shit anymore? Ain’t that his business?’ Eggsy forwent arguing that the demon was trying to trick him, that was a demon’s prime directive. What purpose was there in arguing that?

         ‘He has a purpose, a job to do, and he’s necessary even if his... heart... isn’t in it anymore.’ Merlin looked at Eggsy from the corner of one eye, and winked.

         In a blink Merlin was gone and Lo in his place, his enthusiastic clapping coming back threefold from the abyss.

         ‘Oh, bravo, Merlin- encore! What a... lovely... story-’ Lo cut himself off with a laugh, deep and gravelly and inhuman.

         ‘Stop playing with me!’ Eggsy bit out, the hand that he’d drawn blood from earlier clutched to himself. It throbbed, reminding Eggsy that maybe there were better places to draw blood from than the palm of your hand because it was going to hurt for ages.

         ‘I don’t play with my food, Dinner.’

         ‘I ain’t listenin’ anymore- you’re trying to confuse me; trying to get me to give up and let you go and I’m not leaving without Harry.’

         ‘I bring you the demon who literally took your love from your arms, and you bring into question my motives?’ Lo lifted one hand to his chest, lidless eyes somehow sad, and for a fragment of a moment Eggsy considered apologising, but-

         ‘I thought you said you didn’t know him?’

         ‘Surprise! I lied; demon, remember?’

         ‘You disgust me. You’re fucking disgusting.’

         ‘I didn’t think you cared so little for Harry.’ Lo quipped, looking idly at his hand- Eggsy would say he was admiring his nail polish but the thick, pale, slimy appendages simply curved into an end. No nails in sight.

         ‘What?’

         ‘Well to call me disgusting is to call him disgusting- we do, after all, share a species. In case you missed it from that story, demons- all ,’ Lo paused, looking pointedly at Eggsy, ‘demons will torture, slaughter, and rape. It’s part and parcel to our existence.’

         Eggsy was confused, and angry, and more than a bit frightened- but who wouldn’t be in this kind of a situation? It wasn’t as if there were other people to ask about their experiences summoning demons or books he could check facts against. But he knew Harry. He loved Harry, and if there was one thing he knew, it was that he was worth it all.

         ‘I guess I’ll just reach into the arse of Hell and bring him to you, then.’ Lo laughed, and Eggsy was struck by how it reminded him of the old Mario game, when you fucked up and Bowser laughed at you. Deep and tri-toned and echoing.

         ‘If Harry’s everythin’ you’re saying he is, then where do I fit in?’ It’s quiet, something Eggsy is reluctant to say out loud and especially reluctant to say to a demon, but there weren’t many choices in circumstances like this.

         ‘You … What about you? It’s kind of funny, actually- that heart Harry was born from, it was fickle. Jumped from rage to lust to disappointment in a flash- and, I guess-’

         ‘He loved me.’

         ‘Perhaps- but that doesn’t change the nature of things. The facts are Harry gets restless, gets frustrated with the stagnation of everyone else, calls at all hours I don’t understand- why do I get like this when no one else does!’ Lo mimed holding a telephone, Harry’s voice fell from his lips, and Eggsy’s heart stuttered. ‘And what am I supposed to tell him- it’s not as if I’ve ever felt that way, and one moment he’s a killer- the best- and the next he’s a mess!’ Lo sounds like a frustrated spouse, Eggsy nearly chuckled at the absurdity of it all, and then the demon looked away in a huff, the candles highlighting the downward curve of his lipless mouth.

         ‘You were his friend.’ It’s a statement, not something he had to ask, because no one can talk that emotionally about another being and not be attached in some way, but the way Lo avoided eye contact after said more than words could.

         Lo roared, like rocks tumbling off a mountain.

         ‘No.’

         Eggsy was tired of talking in circles. He was the one in charge here, and maybe he just had to trick him into doing shit on his own. Like Aladdin with Genie.

         ‘You can’t even get him, can you?’ He goaded, leant back on his hands where he sat in the circle. ‘You ain’t strong enough to get the job done.’

         ‘I don’t have the strength?’ Lo glared, and raised himself on his arms until he somehow towered over him.

         ‘You can’t even walk, you fucking cripple-’ Eggsy gagged, his throat closed up with nothing but a twitch of Lo’s hand. Shit. He’d forgotten; demon magic wasn’t stopped by the circle, only their bodies. Only their ability to kill outright- the rest was fair game.

         He’d gone too far.

         ‘Can you feel that?’ It’s said nonchalantly, like asking about the weather, and Eggsy’s eyes bugged open, one hand scrabbling at his neck as if to dislodge his attacker. ‘The essence of my hand ripping through your barrier and crushing your larynx? Maybe I can’t kill you from here, but I can certainly make my displeasure in your living known.

         ‘The sooner I get your lover-demon, the sooner your stench will leave my mouth.’ Lo spat, and shoved himself away from Eggsy; and the moment the hand stopped metaphysically crushing his windpipe he gagged. He spluttered and choked and spat up a bit, wiped the back of a hand across his mouth, and looked up into emptiness.

         ‘Lo? Lo? Lo?! Fuck,’ Eggsy ran a hand through his hair, uncaring of the spittle, and looked about as if he could suddenly see through the pitch-darkness of the In-Between. ‘God damn it. Shit. Fuck. Fuck!’ He was delirious, cursing to himself and pulling at his own hair, on the verge of tears.

         Would this work? Would it be worth it? What kind of a question was that, for Harry it was worth everything, but would Harry think so? If he really was a demon, would that change anything for Eggsy? Could they make something new from the pieces left after all this? Would Harry still want him after he didn’t need to hide anymore?

         Fucking hell… Eggsy’s mouth hadn’t moved, but the words echoed about the space. Shit- who said that? Who is it? I just thought that. Eggsy’s eyes widened.

         It’s saying what I’m thinking- is it reading my mind? Is it in my mind? My thoughts are outside my head what the fuck is going on saysomethingoutloud-

         ‘Fuuuuuuu-’ The sound gave out, choking to a halt, and Eggsy began to panic. Did I just make sounds instead of talking? The fuck was that sound- say a sentence. Come on, Eggsy, say a fucking sentence. ‘ You can go fuck yourself.’ There, that’s a sentence.

         Shit, that’s still in my head.

         Fuck.

         Okay, let’s figure this out, yeah? Why am I hearing my voice outside of my head? Where is it coming from? Eggsy writhed in place, neck cramped, and pulled at his hair with both hands. Ow! Eggsy pulled his hand from his head, looked down, and gaped at the cut from earlier.

         Did that get bigger? The skin opened and closed in time with his thoughts, and Eggsy sucked in a breath through his teeth. His hand was talking to him- his hand was exposing his thoughts to the demons and whatever else was around- his hand was reading his mind and then saying it out loud. Ignore the hand, clear your mind. Like fucking Snape just clear your mind and stop bloody thinking!

…

         This is weird. No luck with ignoring it, so may as well just run with it. Don’t focus on the hand. Let’s figure this shit out.

         Harry’s a demon… he’s always been a demon. Does that mean he didn’t love me? Doesn’t love me? Did he- did he make me love him? Eggsy glared at his hand, pointing angrily with the other.

         ‘That’s fucking ridiculous- I know he loved me. He didn’ say it much but actions are louder than words, yeah? He fucking loved me. And I love him, even with him gone I love him.’

         And yet we’re here, in the middle of hell knows where, trying to strike a deal with a fucking demon after getting told bedtime stories of him killing people for shits and giggles. Innocent people, even.

         ‘That’s the point, tho- stories. They’re stories told by fucking demons to get me to give up. Like them warning stones in Labyrinth; Lo admitted he was lying!’

         And the Book?

         ‘Shit. That’s right. The Book.’

         A human wouldn’t have a book like that- and where’d it come from? Where could he have gotten it from- certainly not Waterstones.

         ‘Hell.’ Eggsy signed, resigned.

         Yeah, Hell. Harry’s from Hell. But does that really change anythin’? He’s obviously the same man, we just got to see his shit in a different light.

         ‘He loved me.’ Whispered, slightly doubtful, as Eggsy stared at one of the candles. Maybe if he just focused on something, anything, else it would stop.

         Did he? Could he? What if you were just the only one dumb enough not to ask questions. Who’d look for a man like that with a pleb like you? He was usin’ you just like Dean used to.

         ‘ That dick!’ It explodes from Eggsy’s lips, unbidden, and he looked around the vacuum his Circle was surrounded by, as if someone would pop out of the woodwork to correct him for being too loud.

         I KNOW!

         ‘ I- I’m talking to myself… through my-’

         ‘Did you miss me?’

         ‘Shut UP. Just- just shut up, brain!’

         ‘As amusing as watching you yell at yourself is, not quite.’ Lo was back, cigarette in hand, the smoke curling far past where his ceiling should be. More unpleasant reminders that Eggsy wasn’t really on Earth anymore.

         Eggsy heaved in a breath, and glanced back and forth from his hand- which had gone silent and the cut had shrunk back to regular size- to Lo.

         ‘Where’d you run off to, then?’

         ‘Needed to ease a little tension.’ Lo waved it about, and Eggsy’s eyes continued to trail the smoke.

         ‘Demons smoke?’

         ‘When will you get it through your thick skull that demons do whatever we damn well please? Besides,’ Lo took a drag, ‘it’s cool.’

         Eggsy was distracted, flexing his fingers and curling his fist as if to try and tease his hand back into talking to him. He couldn’t figure out why he was doing it, outside of an intense desire to not be looking at Lo. Not to be thinking about everything he’d been told.

         ‘The circle’s closing in on you- magic has to draw from somewhere and the longer you sit there the more your brain’s leaking out. Stay there long enough and there won’t be enough left of you to go back; but, as a faint silver lining, I got something for you.’

         ‘Harry?’ Eggsy perked up, his whole body leant forward, and Lo chuckled.

         ‘No. He’s in some high-security lockup and it’ll take more time- but I did bring you some souls to speak in his place!’ A pair of came up against the wall, and kept coming toward them- until they hit a barrier, filmy and red and Eggsy did not want to think about what it was made of. ‘I thought you’d want to know what Harry was going through- so you can help him later, of course.’ Screams echoed, like nails on a chalkboard, and Eggsy held himself as stiff as he could. Barely wanting to look at the humanoid points of darkness against the illuminated flesh- red of the barrier.

         Demons lie. No matter what they said it wasn’t necessarily true. Though, Eggsy knew, all the best lies were built around grains of truth. So what was the truth, here?

         But, as Eggsy listened to the litany of screams and begging, he grew more and more worried for Harry. Cheese graters? Drawn and quartered? Papercuts and lemon juice? Head, still alive, being thrown into a blender? Venom and sleep deprivation and waterboarding- some of these things sounded so mundane, so run-of-the-mill. Eggsy reasoned to himself that it was probably like Prometheus and the bird- beyond painful every time, and just familiar enough to keep you wondering how they’d make it worse this time. Repetitive and horrifying.

         ‘Why are you showing this to me?’ The shadows froze as he spoke, and red dripped where their supposed-bodies pressed against the barrier. As one they cocked their heads to one side, turning toward Lo as if they wondered much the same as he had.

         ‘You want me to find Harry? You want me to give you Harry? Well I want you to know what you’re getting into. What Harry is. He was the best there was- until you.’

         ‘Get rid of them. Send them back.’ It’s a feeble order, and Lo knew it.

         ‘Do it yourself, master.’ Eggsy turned to the shadows, who were pressed eagerly against the barrier as if through will alone they could escape their confines.

         ‘Go back to hell; leave me the fuck alone!’ Eggsy bit out, on the edge of breakdown but with a job left to do.

         ‘You know it’s funny- just think about every time you wished someone to go to hell, and here you are actively witnessing what you’ve wished upon them.’ Lo twirled the end of his cigarette, and the smoke became a set of claws before fading from view. ‘And then you just turned them away- they needed your help, Eggsy.’

         ‘Just shut it and get Harry already.’

         ‘I can’t. And not because I’m a cripple. You want to know why my legs drag behind me like a snake?’ Lo sounded like the Joker in those Dark Knight movies, pleasant and conversational but obviously intending to give a story whether you asked for it or not. ‘I assure you, there are legs back there- and this won’t be a long drawn out sob story like the one Merlin gave you.’

         ‘...I don’t care.’ Eggsy felt empty; at once terrified for Harry, scared of what Harry may well be, and a bone-deep tired he couldn’t quite push through.

         ‘Harry,’ Lo nodded once, looked Eggsy in the eyes, and looked away, ‘my legs were crushed when he was returned. Fitting retribution.’

         ‘...You helped him get out?’ What kind of a relationship did the two of them have, anyway? Calls in the night, an assist in escape, and yet Lo wouldn’t bring Harry to him now?

         ‘A demon, Eggsy, heart or heartless, shouldn’t entertain the idea that love will be the answer to any of its questions. Harry’s home now, where he belongs, but he’s no longer free. He’s trapped by guilt and the sharpest pains in the deepest of the pits- if you could call anyone trapped, it’s him.’ Lo took a breath and looked away. ‘Would you even want to see him again, with everything you’ve seen? Everything you’ve been told? Would you really want to bring him back with you, after all of this?’

         ‘I can’t tell the difference between trick or truth with you, bruv.’

         ‘You weren’t meant to. But the question remains- do you want to see Harry again? If so, all you have to do is… remember.’ Lo gestured back toward the wall, and a new memory began.

--

         It was Christmas, him and Harry sat on the floor like children, and Eggsy had his hands hidden behind his back. He presented the gift to Harry, who took it looking vaguely confused. Within was a small stack of tattered books, Cendrillon and Pygmalion and The Tragic History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. Harry set the stack between them, hands in his lap as he looked earnestly at Eggsy.

         ‘They’re for you.’

         ‘Books?’

         ‘Have you read this one?’ Eggsy gestured to Faustus, a small smile on his face.

         ‘No.’

         ‘Well it’s good- I figured rare books would be up your alley, what with you keeping that one in your case, and all. They’re not really old, but they’re older than me and I figure that’s something.’

         ‘You thought I’d enjoy enjoy these, so you got them for me?’ Harry sounded as if it was an entirely foreign concept. He was so confused all the time, it was a wonder that he’d made it this far in life without Eggsy around.

         ‘Well, it’s Christmas- it’s what you do.’ Eggsy shrugged, hiding his anxiety in a gentle smile. ‘Do you like ‘em?’

         ‘I think I do- I’ve not read many books outside of my own before. Schooling aside, of course.’ Harry added quickly, eyes doe-like and blinking slowly, so Eggsy let it go. Harry would tell him when he was ready. ‘What’s it about?’ Relationships were all about compromise- his curiosity could wait.

         ‘Well this bloke sells his soul for knowledge and power-’ Harry snorted, interrupting him.

         ‘How foolish. There’s no knowledge worth that much pain at the end of the road.’

         ‘What, you been there or so-’

         ‘Never!’ Harry interrupted Eggsy, whose smile ran from his face. Harry was so sensitive to the strangest things. He added “joking about hell” to his ongoing list of Harry’s Touchy Subjects.

         ‘You’re the strangest thing that’s ever happened to me.’ Eggsy chuckled,smiling softly, and sat expectantly. ‘Well?’

         ‘Well… what?’

         ‘D’you have somethin’ for me?’ Eggsy didn’t much like being rude, or pushy, but he’d learned that beating around the bush didn’t work with Harry- it was speak plainly, or not at all. It was something that’d rubbed him the wrong way at first, but when Harry reminded him that he’d had a very secluded upbringing Eggsy would feel like a tit all over again. So being a little uncomfortable was worth it- one day at a time.

         ‘Oh,’ Harry’s eyes widened, and he smiled sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know that was custom.’

         ‘That’s alright, Harry- I’m just happy to be spending the holiday with you.’ Eggsy was honest; sure he was a little disappointed, but there was never any accounting for what Harry did and did not know. It made Eggsy feel purposed when Harry asked him things, or tried something new just on his recommendation- this was just one of the downsides to being that person. Life’s tiny disappointments.

         ‘I’m so sorry, Eggsy… do you hate me?’ Insecurities be damned, Eggsy couldn’t help but giggle at the look on Harry’s face. The man had to be in his late forties but he looked like a child whose lolly had fallen into the dirt; someone who had had something wonderful and managed to tarnish it without meaning to.

         ‘Course not. Actually,’ Eggsy rubbed at the back of his head, ‘I think I might be- just a little- bit more in love with you than I was before. It’s weird, but you bein’ honest just…’ Eggsy shrugged.

         ‘I’ve told you, I’m a man out of time with strange hobbies,’ Harry gestured to the wall behind them, where a few shadow boxes of butterflies were hanging. ‘But I will never lie to you, if I can help it.’ They kissed, more of a press of lips than anything heated, when suddenly Harry sprung to his feet and dashed from the room, his words echoing back behind him. ‘I do have something for you!’ He was laughing- what a sudden change from the melancholy man who’d kissed him.

         ‘You can’t wrap somethin’ that’s mine, that’s not how it works!’ Eggsy called after him, allowing himself to fall back against the leg of the sofa.

         Harry returned with the briefcase tucked against his chest, the one from the day they’d met, which had been hidden in the back of a closet since he’d moved in. He unlocked it swiftly and pulled out the Book, the one reptilian eye gazing from the cover, looking at if briefly with a calculated gaze before handing it to Eggsy.

         ‘You’re giving me your “or something” book?’

         ‘It’s only fitting, after you’ve gifted me with books.’ Harry looked so at ease, and Eggsy couldn’t help but feel honoured. Harry trusted him with this, with what had to be his most treasured (if not only) possession.

         ‘Touche.’ Eggsy lifted the book, fingering the cover, before Harry’s hand covered his own. Harry used his other hand the lift Eggsy’s chin, and locked eyes with him.

         ‘You must not do that.’

         ‘Read it?’ What use was a book if you didn’t read it? The cover was creepy and definitely not something Eggsy wanted sitting on a shelf where anyone could see it.

         ‘Promise me. Eggsy, promise you will never read that book. Keep it safe, and one day when I’m not around you burn it.’ Harry’s hands framed Eggsy’s face, large and warm and safe. Eggsy gulped.

         ‘What is it?’ It’s asked softly, but Eggsy knew that Harry wouldn’t lie to him. He’d given his word.

         ‘My past- and don’t ever ask that of me again. Just. Please, for me, burn it. Don’t read it, let me be judged for who I am rather than who I have been.’ Harry’s eyes were earnest, and Eggsy couldn’t help but give in. As curious as he was, he loved the man that Harry was now . Yeah, it took a lot to get here, everyone’s made up of their past after all, but Harry would tell him when he was ready.

         What did he need a book for, anyway?

         ‘Promise.’

--

         ‘~Demon~’ Lo sang beneath his breath, head held up in the hand not holding a cigarette.

         Why wasn’t he honest with you? And now the hand was back. Great. He obviously didn’t trust you- not enough.

         ‘He was ashamed-’

         Or he had a plan, and knew what he buttons he had to push to see it through. He could convince you of anything.

         ‘No-’

         You know you couldn’t say no to him- should have been a willow for all you bent to his whims. You’ve been distant with everyone- would your friends even notice if something was wrong? Who would check on you? Harry was everything to you- and he knew it.

         ‘ No- we worked because we were different. We fit. Different puzzles made in the same shape.’

         Because he designed it that way. You were nothing but a disguise. A ruse.

         ‘Just STOP!’ Eggsy closed the sliced-open hand, dug his nails into the wound, and felt tears forming despite himself.

         ‘~The circle’s closing in on you~’ Lo mocked, humming under his breath when Eggsy shot him a glare.

         ‘I’ll manage on my own, thanks.’

         ‘If you had any idea of what your brain was actually doing up there- pah.’ Lo laughed, no less horrifying than before, and Eggsy stared as Lo swirled his finger around his temple in the universal sign for insanity. ‘Idiot.’

--

         A blink, and suddenly there was a man in front of him; older, balding, and laughing sinisterly, a small tray in his hands.

         ‘True on so many levels, Lo. We have, almost always, seen eye-to-eye on these matters.’ The man came to a stop in front of Eggsy, Lo nowhere to be found, with a crystal decanter filled with amber liquid and a glass.

         ‘I know you-’

         ‘I doubt that significantly. Would you like a drink?’ He held up the glass, gestured with the other hand to the decanter.

         ‘What? No.’ Who in their right fucking mind would drink something a demon handed them? Where’d it even come from, anyway?

         ‘Are you positive? I can assure you that this is the finest napoleonic brandy.’

         ‘I bet it is, mate, but I just want Harry. I’m not thirsty.’

         ‘It will be the best thing your uncultured mouth will have ever tasted.’

         ‘I just told you I don’t want a drink- I just want Harry, thanks.’

         ‘Well call it Harry, then,’ the man poured two fingers worth into the glass, ‘and enjoy.’

         ‘I just said I don’t want a fucking drink!’

         ‘It’s not poison.’ Lo reappeared, speaking from behind Eggsy, as the balding man used a crystal rod to push the filled glass across the circle. ‘It weakens the link between your body and soul- I can’t bring Harry to you, you see- you have to go to him.’ Lo’s head twists, snakelike, ‘it’s the only way.’

         ‘You want me to go into hell, outside of this circle, and find Harry on my own?’

         ‘Yes, I do! You’ll be relatively,’ Lo waved a hand in a so-so gesture, ‘unharmed by the fires and woes of Hell by consuming that drink. It’s the only way a living man can pass through, a closely guarded secret; so,’ Lo paused, head cocked to one side, ‘is your sugar daddy worth the risk?’

         Eggsy turned away from Lo, back to the glass, and took a deep breath. Was Harry worth the risk? ‘You think I’ve got anythin’ to lose?’ Eggsy muttered just loud enough for Lo to hear, unintentionally, before picking up the glass and swallowing it in one gulp.

         ‘Fucker lied, that tasted like shit.’ There was a great whooshing sound, and suddenly Lo began to cackle. Like the hyenas in Lion King, Lo rolled upon the floor, and laughter echoed from the rest of the room. The man who had poured the drink, Merlin, the shadows... ‘Why’re you all laughing.’

         ‘I lied. It was poison.’

         ‘I can’t believe you fell for the whole “drink this, and you can walk through hell” bit- thought you had a bit more brains than that.’ Merlin had his arms crossed, and his horned head shook disapprovingly, but his chest shook with laughter. The medals glistened in the candlelight.

         ‘Just. Bring Lo back.’

         ‘I’m not his keeper, I’m not his master.’ Merlin scoffed, but somehow looked disappointed.

         ‘Am I really dying, then?’

         ‘Oh, yes- but slowly. You have time to think, bargain, get desperate… we demons like to watch you twitch.’

         ‘Can I do anything about the dying thing?’ As if a demon would-

         ‘Break the circle. Leave. Get your arse to a hospital and get it pumped out before it’s been too long.’ Merlin implored, surprisingly earnest for a demon who had just earlier said he’d been disappointed that Eggsy had survived their last encounter.

         ‘I thought you heard me when I said I ain’t leaving without him. I don’ see any ears, but you answer everythin’ else just fine.’

         ‘Don’t be cheeky, and stop calling it “he” that’s a prison of human design- demons aren’t defined by something as paltry as what’s between our legs. If we have them.’ There was a pause, Merlin looked away briefly and then turned back to Eggsy. ‘This whole “love” thing,’ he made quotations with his fingers, ‘can you explain it to me?’

         ‘I’m not that great with words, I dunno what to tell you.’ Eggsy was resigned to his fate at this point, death was inevitable because he was an idiot who took what was offered- wasn’t that like rule one of magic? Or was that just faeries?

         But, maybe if he died in hell, he’d be reunited with Harry after all. Well worth all the pain at the end of the road.

         ‘I once tortured a man who said love was like something lodged in your throat you can’t swallow; another like continuously falling from a great height- both sounded unpleasant. Something to be avoided.’

         ‘Those are way too simple, mate,’ This is what’s left of my life now, explaining love to demons, ‘there’s no real way to define it. I mean, all the words in the world ain’t gonna help if you have nothing to base it on. Or something close to it, and you lot already told me that demons don’t love.’’

         ‘Demons can do whatever they want.’ It was defensive, and Eggsy had to breathe out a laugh.

         ‘Yeah, so you’ve said- but then none of you want to love, or you’d’ve figured it out already. You wouldn’t be asking me.’

         ‘Maybe we just want to give all our secrets away.’

         ‘Are you lot secretly five? That’s the logic my little sister uses to pretend she’s cleaned her mess when she’s just tucked it under the rug.’

         ‘Well, fine, maybe we can’t- but it’s a good thing. A blessing, if I can use the word. I mean, look at yourself,’ Merlin gestured vaguely at Eggsy, hunched over in the circle, ‘you’re dying, slowly, in a painted circle in the middle of your apartment- because you loved someone. You’re dying and still you sit here waiting to see him again instead of get yourself to a doctor. At least at the end of this I’m still around- why put yourself through that?’

         ‘Well that’s my secret, then. Takin’ it to my grave- close as it is.’

         ‘Why not just close the circle and be done with it? Get to a hospital, live your life?’

         ‘I’d rather be with Harry, thanks.’ Merlin scoffed, and walked back into the abyss, leaving Eggsy alone with his thoughts. Scattered, but his own.

         Eggsy took a moment to look down at the Book, ran one hand across the incredibly creepy cover, and smiled sadly. Sure, maybe he hadn’t been able to see Harry before he died- but he’d get to see him after. He’d come here with a mission, and he’d never been the type of person to leave a job undone- and what kind of life would be waiting for him without Harry, anyway? The months without him had been empty and faded- who could blame Eggsy for not wanting to go back to that?

         ‘I don’t want to die,’ Eggsy said to the emptiness, ‘but I don’t want to go back, neither. I don’t want to live without him.'

         You had to say it out loud. Eggsy refused to acknowledge the hand this time- if he were dying, he’d do it on his terms and not looking like a nutter yelling at his own hand. You know I can’t leave you alone.

         ‘And you’re exposing my thoughts to everyone!’

         Who? There’s no one here!

         ‘But there will be, you need to stop or- or I’ll- I’ll cut you off!’ Eggsy brandished the knife from the beginning, blood crusted along the edge, and placed it against his wrist. ‘So stop.’

         ‘Are you trying to die more quickly, or is this some pathetic attempt to rid yourself of the poison?’ Lo blinked innocently up at him from his place on the ground, and Eggsy dropped the knife- his hand wasn’t talking anymore.

         ‘You poisoned me.’

         ‘No, Chester did.’

         ‘The fuck’s it matter who poisoned me, the end is the same. Fucking demon poison- but I wanna know: why? Why’d Harry have your page marked? So many bloody demons to choose from, feels like, and you’re the one marked off- why?’ Eggsy would deny he’d begged until his last breath (and that was far too close to contemplate) but he had to know. He needed to know.

         ‘Maybe he found me attractive,’ Lo framed his face between his mottled hands, blinking as if to flutter nonexistent eyelashes, ‘or maybe he just threw a marker into the Book in a rush and it was a simple coincidence.’ He shrugged, shoulders shifting against the ground as he lay on his back, and Eggsy growled. Maybe the circle was getting to him, maybe it was the poison, but either way he was at the end of his fucking rope.

         ‘You’re never going to give me a straight answer, are you? I’m a fucking dying human, you already won, why are you so scared of me?’

         ‘Your false sense of security derived from a painted circle on the ground has given you quite the ego.’

         ‘I just don’ give a fuck anymore; I’m dying, why bother playin’ nice? Why’d you help him escape?

         ‘I don’t see how that’s any of your business-’

         ‘They crushed your body!’

         'With good reason! I deserved it, I paid my price, and even dead you have no business in demon affairs.’ Eggsy keeled over, clutched desperately to his stomach and groaned in pain. ‘You’re not built for Hell, Eggsy. Trust me.’

         ‘I’m dead chuffed that a demon would care so much for my well being-’

         ‘You can’t even do anything for Harry by staying here- he broke a sacred law, he’s a vile creature who will never again see the light of day!’

         ‘Well, maybe I don’ care about all that!

         ‘You should-’

         ‘I don’t give a fuck about should or shouldn’t. I love him, and the shit you’ve spewed at me is a different Harry. Who he was here,’ Eggsy threw his hands about the circle, careful even now not to cross the barrier despite his pain, ‘isn’t the man I know. Everyone changes over time- even demons!’

         ‘Oh, and you’re the authority on that subject now?’

         ‘On Harry, yes.’ Eggsy was determined, lips firm, eyes hard, and looked at Lo like he would a spot of dirt on a freshly-cleaned floor. He turned, and lifted a hand like Lo had earlier, focusing entirely on the memory of he and Harry’s last night together. The night that changed everything.

--

         They were asleep together, the too-large bed covered in pillows and blankets, when suddenly Harry shot straight up, screaming at a decibel Eggsy was only now able to fully comprehend. Eggsy rolled over, sat up, and threw an arm across Harry’s shoulders before pulling him back down. They stayed there, Harry curled surprisingly small upon Eggsy’s chest, until Harry stopped shaking.

         ‘You wanna talk about it?’ Eggsy whispered, lips barely brushing Harry’s temple.

         ‘It’s just a dream- everyone has them.’ Harry evaded the question, keeping his face turned from Eggsy’s. ‘Just a dream.’

         ‘Not like that they don’t. You’ve been talkin’ in your sleep, y’know- apologising-’

         ‘Shhh.’ Harry placed one finger on Eggsy’s lips, suddenly on alert; body shifted at an angle and ear turned toward the door. ‘Tell me you don’t smell anything.’

         ‘... Now that you’ve mentioned it, smells like sulfur. You leave somethin’ on?’

         ‘... Shit.’ A now familiar green, scaled, hand grasped Harry by the scalp and threw him bodily from the bed, and Eggsy could only watch in horror as the horned demon walked fully into the room. Merlin lifted a hand, freezing Eggsy’s bid to move toward him, and then shoved him backward with a flick of his wrist. Demon magic had worked in the real world, that night.

         Harry got back to his feet, eyes pale and face discoloured, and walked up to Merlin. He held himself like Wolverine, body tilted forward and hands extended at his sides as if ready to swipe and cut as opposed to punch.

         ‘Really, him?’ Merlin asked Harry, gesturing with his head to the unconscious Eggsy on the bed. ‘What makes him worth all this fuss?’

         ‘Merlin.’

         ‘Nice costume, sugar daddy.’

         ‘Go back.’

         ‘I plan to- but not without you.’

         ‘I’m stronger than you-’

         ‘But you’re long since out of practise.’ They fought, never touching but still managing to hurt one another, until Merlin managed to grab Harry by the throat. Literally. The sound of Harry choking managed to stir Eggsy, who sat up in bed and scrambled forward on the sheets. Merlin flicked his other wrist, and long, deep, gashes appeared on Eggsy’s chest. Harry heard Eggsy gasp in pain and fall back to the bed, and it rejuvenated him- he fought Merlin with renewed vigour to get to Eggsy’s side.

         ‘Eggsy!’ Harry breathed, but Eggsy couldn’t breathe. Harry was lying across his legs, torsos barely touching, trying to gauge the damage, and Eggsy couldn’t breathe. ‘He’s dying-’

         ‘I should hope so- I don’t scratch.’

         ‘Let me help him, and I’ll go with you. No more fighting, just… let me save him.’ Harry whispered, and Merlin simply gestured him forward with a wave of his hand. Harry crawled back upon the bed, carefully avoiding Eggsy’s mutilated chest, and kissed him softly. ‘I have to leave.’

         ‘H-H-Harry-’

         ‘Shhh,’ Harry lifted a hand, holding it over his torso with a look of pure determination, and a moment later Eggsy’s breathing evened out. ‘I’m sorry, Eggsy. I love you.’

         Together, Harry and Merlin walked from the room, briefcase in hand.

--

         ‘You came here for love- you know, you’re no better than Faust.’ Lo remarked after the scene faded, Eggsy’s heavy breathing still hovering throughout the room. Whether it was from now or then was impossible to tell.

         ‘Faust wanted power, and knowledge-’

         ‘Which is exactly what you want as well- you promised Harry that you would destroy that Book. If you’d truly loved him, you would have done as he’d asked. Only a mortal can harm that book- you betrayed your love just by coming here.’ Eggsy turned to Lo, far beyond done with this merry-go-round. ‘Do you think your Harry will forgive you?’

         ‘I’m only human, ain’t I?’ Eggsy said, determined to make Lo understand even if he died trying, ‘we’re allowed to make mistakes, we’re expected to make mistakes and maybe loving Harry means I couldn’t do what he made me promise but don’t,’ Eggsy gritted out, ‘accuse me of betraying him, when all I’ve wanted was for him to be back where he belonged. Back home. With me.’

         Lo laughed. ‘If you say so, kid.’ Eggsy saw red- this close to dying, why hold back?

         ‘Demon Lo I am you master, you disgusting thing, I summoned you and all your power. I say roll over- since you can’t jump and all- and you do it.’ Eggsy breathed sharply through his teeth, ‘You’ve been showing me all sorts of shit I don’ care about to get me to leave. I. WON’T.

         ‘I’m not leaving here without Harry, and I command you Demon Lo to get him and bring him right in front of me and then get the fuck out of my sight.’ Lo looked at Eggsy with wide eyes, but said nothing more before dragging himself away, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to be sorry for cutting off Lo’s fun, slow-acting or not he was dying and he only had one real chance at this now.

--

         It could have been a moment, it could have been a year (who knew how slow demon poisons were, anyway) but between one breath and the next Harry was there. Beautiful, perfect, Harry with his hair and suit pristine and his glasses clear, a small sad smile on his lips. He was propped on his elbows, eye level with the collapsed Eggsy, cheekbones highlighted in the candlelight. All that fuss, and Lo had managed it at last.

         ‘Hello, Eggsy.’ There was something sad in his voice, but Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to do more than shrug a shoulder.

         ‘Hello, Harry.’

         ‘Strange place for a date.’ Harry’s mouth quirked on one side, barely showing his teeth.

         ‘Yeah, but the only man worth datin’ was down here.’ A long silence stretched between them. Sad, broke only by laboured breathing, but not awkward.

         ‘... You kept the Book.’

‘I tried to burn it- I did- but I just- just,’ Eggsy sighed, pained, ‘I just couldn’t, and I dunno why. Swear down I tried-’

         ‘It’s okay.' Harry interrupted, a small glittering in his eyes. 'You know they weren’t happy when they found Faust in the case- thank you, it was a comedic moment in what was a very dark period. Your gift has been-’

         ‘I’m here to take you home, Harry.’ Eggsy couldn’t let him continue on, talking of his time in Hell like a poorly-envisioned vacation. They had somewhere to be; they had a home to get back to.

         ‘I know. I’m doing cartwheels, can’t you see them?’

         ‘Don’t you Parks and Rec me, Harry- I need you to tell me what page I need to read to get us both back home, Harry.’

         ‘You still want me- after everything you’ve heard? Hell’s gold standard reaper?’

         ‘But I know that’s not the Harry Hart I know-’

         ‘But it is.’ It’s stated simply, but it makes Eggsy’s head spin. But, he’d come this far, and he wasn’t leaving without him. They’d work through everything a bit at a time- every relationship had its problems.

         ‘Well, you swear you won’t eat me and I’ll marry you. You, me, my shitty flat and all the butterflies you can fit inside. May even let you get a dog like you always wanted.’

         ‘You love me?’ It was whispered to himself, as if Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but he looked back at Eggsy with fire in his eyes. ‘Page 1108,’ Eggsy flipped through the pages as quickly as his debilitated body could manage. Eventually he found the page, but Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to do more than drink in the sight of Harry by candlelight

         ‘Tiana.’ Harry started, tongue caressing the words much the way he had Eggsy’s name that first day. He stared for a moment before realising that he was supposed to repeat what Harry said- why open the book at all, if Harry could just recite it all?

‘Tiana.’

‘Fate Simae.’

‘Fate Simae.’

‘Nevt Tiana Simae.’

‘Nevt Tiana Simae.’

‘Tan Corse Si.’

‘Tan Corse Si.’

         Harry reached across the circle like there was no barrier, as if there was nothing but open floor between them, and kissed Eggsy deeply. Softly. The opposite of their circumstances, what with being in hell and all. Eggsy felt like something was finally settling back into place, like the colour was bleeding back into the world; like he’d finally stopped being more spirit than self.

         Harry pulled back, and grasped the empty glass in one hand before spitting the poisoned brandy back inside.

         ‘I can’t go with you, Eggsy.’ It’s sad, but stated as fact, and Eggsy won’t stand for it.

         ‘The fuck do you mean you can’t- we’ll hide, change our names, they won’t find us-’

         ‘They will, Eggsy- and next time, I won’t be able to save you. I’m afraid I used that bargaining chip, already. They find us up there, let alone together, and we’re both finished.’

         ‘Then let me stay here with you- I can adapt I’ll figure it-’

         ‘No! No, no…’ Harry looked back into Eggsy’s eyes, frantic, ‘this is not where I will have you spend eternity. You get no say in this, you have so much left to experience Eggsy and I will not have you giving that up to be with me. Much as it hurts me to let you go, you belong up there- you’ll figure it out.’

         ‘What have I got to live for up there without you?’

         ‘I’m not a man, Eggsy,’ Harry’s voice reverberates around the room, haunting and clear, ‘I’m not even human.’

         ‘But you love me, yeah?’ The poison was gone, but his body was too weak to protest too harshly. Eggsy wished he could clear the guilt from Harry’s eyes.

         ‘Sometimes, Eggsy, love is not enough.’ Harry began to lean back out of the circle. ‘Please, burn the book- it’s not fair. To either of us.’ He paused and lifted a hand, and something in the air changed. ‘You’re going home, Eggsy. And I’m going to stay in this place to make sure of it.’ Harry turned away, and began to lean himself back into the abyss.

         ‘Harry-’ He turned back, heartbreak etched in every glorious crease, and Eggsy felt a traitorous tear slide down his face. He blinked, trying to clear his eyes, and froze.

Lo met Eggsy’s gaze, half covered in shadow. He looked away, breaking the fragile moment between them, and finished dragging himself away.

--

         Eggsy came to in his apartment, drooling on the floor and face planted on a small puddle of dried blood. Disgusting.

         He got up, slowly, and dusted himself off- surprised to find the cut still there, having thought it all a fantastical dream. But no, the Book was there, the blood was there, and his apartment was still boarded up to he- boarded up inside.

         He scraped off the paint as best he could, used some thinner, and then gave up and put the carpet back over it. Someone would make an unpleasant discovery someday, but that wasn’t a problem for today. He pulled down the boards from the windows, the light nearly blinding him, and started cleaning up.

         He used a hammer to break some of the wood down, gathered up some old newsprint, and shoved it all into a metal bin before he put out on the sil.

He put the Book atop the pile, and dropped a match.

#dagonet writes #kingsman #kingsman fic #demon summoning au #demon lo fic

[a-jynx]

Heart Attack

Summary: Being someone’s old dame was hard enough - but being one of the tougher motorcycle gangs kings’ old dame was harder than hard. Especially when all Mr. Samuel comes home late at night with broken hands, and blood trailing behind him. 

Pairings: Sam x reader; Biker AU

Warnings: Cursing, blood mentions, mentions of fighting, angst cause im the angst queen to some, and FLUFFY TOO!! 

Notes: One of my friends actually requested this! But, she doesn’t have a Tumblr but I’m still going to write this for her! (I hate her cause she gave me an idea for a series and I’m already working on like four T-T) 

Series inspired by this fic: The Winding Road  *ongoing* 

Forever In Tags: @waywardnewcomer, @natashacamillaus, @iliketowrite02, @mogarukes, @casiskween

He came stumbling in, mumbling about something, he sounded crazy. His clothes reeked of cigarettes and blood - too bad that was his usual cologne scent now.  

               I woke to the sound of strangled coughing, along with the sound of furniture being moved around. Sighing, and glancing at the clock – Jesus, 3:30 AM… He’s never been this late getting back from the meet-ups.

Frowning I pushed myself up from the soft mattress and held myself tightly as I slowly made my way through the hallways of my shared one story home; my bare feet frigid as they pressed against the cool hardwood flooring.

               Stopping just before the door to the kitchen, I couldn’t help but cover my mouth to stop the small gasp from escaping. He had this back to me, but I could easily see he was in pain. Not to mention the blood that seemed to trial behind him.

Taking small, yet quick steps towards him, I gently placed both of my hands on his shoulders giving them a small squeeze as he leaned his head over, pressing his warm and slightly sweaty temple against my cool skin.

               “Sorry baby.. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He whispered into the dark as I sighed, giving his shoulders another squeeze before I moved around him; sitting in the chair off to his side as I flicked on the overhead light.

“I was barely asleep.. I didn’t have you in bed next to me.” I whispered back as I finally took in his figure. He was battered and bruised – blood, fresh and dry, caked the side of his face and under his nose. I clenched my jaw while reaching out, gently pressing my fingertips to his chin as I turned his head towards the light.

               “Jesus, Samuel..” I sighed as he yanked his head away, tossing it back to brush his bangs out of his eyes as I clenched my jaw more while I took one of my hands and rested it against my forehead; shaking my head as I felt tears prickle the sides of my e/c eyes.

“Baby.. Honey, it’s not that bad-“ Sam began to defend himself but I quickly snapped my head towards him, hissing.

               “Not that bad?! Sam, you are caked in blood!” I hissed as I glanced over his broken looking face. He looked so tired, so worn down – but I knew better. He wouldn’t tell you if he got tired, or worn down… No, he would just smirk, laugh, and move on with his day.

“Y/N, come on, you know how my job works-“

               “And I don’t give a damn. You are my husband, we’re supposed to go through shit together, and yet here you are keeping me on the sidelines – well, guess what, I’m done.” I spat as I pushed away from the table, moving back towards the bedroom as Sam quickly chased after me, groaning as I fought back tears.

“Baby.. Sweetheart.. Y/N!” Sam’s voice raised higher causing me to halt in my movements as I allowed a shaking breath to leave my parted lips as I closed my eyes, feeling tears already running down my cheeks.

               The sound of his footsteps grew closer until I felt his arms wrap around my waist, leaning me back into his chest and his warmth as I sighed. My muscles slowly untensed as I tried to breathe in his calming scent of a woodsy, old library and old ink smell under all of the cigarettes and blood – it was barely there.

“Baby… I need you to be here with me.. A king can’t rule without his queen,” Sam whispered into my hair as I sighed, keeping my eyes closed as I bit on my lip. Nodding slowly, I turned in his arms and wrapped my own around his neck as he leaned down and pressed his slightly sweaty forehead against my own.

               “And a queen can’t live without her king.. It’s just.. Jesus, Sam, I hate that you got stuck in the family business.. I mean, what if what happens to John and Dean happens to you? I can’t.. I couldn’t live without,” I whispered into his chest, feeling more tears dripping down my cheeks as he sighed, giving my body a squeeze as I cuddled more into his chest.

“I know, baby.. But I swear to you, it won’t happen, okay? I won’t leave you behind – either of you.” He smiled gently as his hair curled into my own as I smiled as I gasped, glancing down at my swollen belly between us.

               “You better not.. Or, I’ll kill you.” I whispered as he chuckled, rubbing the end of his nose against my own, making me smile more as I stepped up onto my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his, tasting the stale cigarette smoke, and fresh blood leaking from his lip.

“Come on, king.. Let’s get you fixed up so we can get some sleep.” I sighed while taking a step back, brushing my fingertips against his bangs as I moved them from his eyes, this causing him to smile more. He nodded slowly as he took my free hand and lead me back towards the kitchen, and as we sat down that’s how I noticed his swollen and battered left hand.

               “Dammit, Sam – therefore I don’t like you going on meet-ups alone.” I sighed as I moved back towards the cabinet, pulling out the medical stuff we had stocked up on a few weeks ago when Gabe and Cas got beat up during a bar fight with one of the rival gangs, Snarled Wings.

“What can I say, darlin’? Trouble has a thing for me.” He cocked a smirk as I arched a brow, taking his hand and wrapping it tightly as I shook my head, rolling my eyes as I pinched my lips tightly together.

               “Yeah, well, you’re going to give me heart attack the next time you come home at 3-“ I paused and stole a glance at the stoves’ clock. “4 in the morning, you asshole.” I slightly spat as I finished wrapping his battered hand and put away the medical supplies, only to feel his warmth press against my back as his good hand rested on the bottom of my belly.

“You love me anyway,” he smiled against my neck as I hummed, turning in his hand as he grinned down at me as I smirked some while licking my lips gently.

               “Mhmm, sadly… Now, come on, dumbass – you’ve got a meeting tomorrow with the Caged Devils, remember?” I sighed as he chuckled as we crawled into our bed. His arm wrapping securely around my lower back as his palm landed on my stomach, causing me to smile warmly as I pressed further into his warmth.

“I know, but right now, I’m worrying about my queen… And our little prince.”

#drabble #sam x reader #biker AU #sam winchester #john winchester mentioned #dean winchester mentioned #castiel mentioned #gabriel mentioned #supernatural #supernatural family #supernatural fandom #supernatural fanfiction #angst but fluffy #i honestly love this #SERIES IDEA? MAYBE

[virgiltheanxious]

Be My Guest (Polyamsanders)

Title:Be My Guest

Pairing: Polyamsanders

Warning: none, i believe

Word Count: 1,400 on the dot!

Summary: The sides have a nice morning.

Masterlist

Tags: Ask if you want to be tagged!

@my-happy-little-bean

(A/N): This was written for my good friend naomi who im not sure if she wants to be tagged BuT WEVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A YEAR EXACTLY AS OF YESTERDAY SO WOOH!!

Virgil stirred the sugar in his coffee and yawned, blinking his eyes a few times to get the sleepiness out of them. He picked up the mug and brought it to the table. He sat down and put his head in one hand, slowly bringing the cup up and taking a sip. He was surprised no one else was up and getting ready for the day. It was 6:45 A.M. which was a little early but Patton usually made breakfast, Roman was usually blabbering about something, and Logan usually was sat at the table reading a book about space and drinking coffee.

Virgil wasn’t entirely complaining, though, because the quiet was a little bit nice and refreshing. Pulling out his phone, Virgil opened tumblr and scrolled through a bit, taking sips of his coffee every time he paused to read a long post. He glanced at the time and noticed that it was still only 6:55. Groaning, Virgil put his head on his table. He adjusted his body so his head was on an arm and he could still see his phone as he scrolled once more.

“Ah, Virgil! Nice to see you up already- Oh, are you sleeping?” Virgil heard Roman’s voice call out.

Virgil snapped his head up, almost knocking over his cup in the process.

“Does it look like I’m asleep?” Virgil sneered, quickly covering his mouth with his mug and taking a sip.

Roman rolled his eyes, responding to defend his case, “What was that for, emo nightmare?”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity,” Virgil quipped, rolling his eyes more dramatically than Roman had.

“Your head was down on the table, you can’t blame me for the mistake,” Roman said, walking towards the kitchen.

With Roman’s back turned Virgil made a face at him, wagging his phone in the ear because that /should/ have made it obvious that he wasn't asleep. Roman turned back and Virgil went to normal, taking a sip of his coffee. He looked back down at his phone and only looked at Roman when he saw his back turned again. Virgil smiled slightly from behind his cup.

“Good morning, Virgil, Roman. I do hope you slept well,” Logan said, adjusting his tie as he walked towards the coffee machine.

“I got a full 9 hours! Beauty sleep is important. I’m not sure our ~insert nickname here~ was as successful, though. He seems cranky,” Roman complained.

Virgil glared at the back of his head. As the coffee machine finished dispensing, Logan’s coffee, Logan sat down across from Virgil and looked him dead in the eyes. Virgil shrank down from Logan’s intimidating stare.

“So, Virgil. How much sleep /did/ you get?” Logan asked, using both hands to bring his coffee mug to his mouth.

Virgil slouched even further. “Uh… three hours, maybe?”

“Virgil, we have talked about this. Getting a full nine hours is the optimal amount of sleep for functioning properly. It is also important for your body to get that amount of sleep so it can refresh from the day before. You really should be getting eight and a half hours at the least,” Logan ranted, pushing up his glasses.

Virgil looked down, a little bit guilty, and stirred what was left of his coffee again. He sighed as he heard Patton coming down the stairs and put his head back on the table, this time pushing away his coffee.

“Morning!” Patton’s cheery voice ripped through the quiet sounds of Roman putting together the ingredients for a smoothie. “Virge, you shouldn’t sleep at the table, it’s not good for your back!” Patton scolded, pulling Virgil up. Virgil frowned in response, causing Patton to pull his chair out and squat down just enough so they were at eye level with each other.

“Hey, are you okay Virgil?” He asked, searching Virgil’s eyes.

Virgil only rolled them in response. “I’m fine, but I’d surely be better if Teach could not lecture me ‘bout my sleeping habits. It’s not like I can help it anyway,” Virgil muttered, looking down and pulling his sleeve over his hand.

“Well, I’m sure he’s just worried about you because he loves you!” PAtton exclaimed, popping back up and patting Virgil’s head. Virgil grinned the slightest bit and “fixed” his hair. Virgil looked up to see Patton hit Logan lightly as he walked past.

“I do suppose that I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned,” Logan said, immediately taking a sip from his own coffee and avoiding Virgil’s gaze.

“...I love you too, Lo.”

Roman chose that moment to turn on the blender and Virgil groaned. “Princey! Can you not! I was sorta having a moment!” Virgil shouted, much loud enough for Roman to hear. But Roman didn’t move to turn off the blender.

Virgil sighed in relief when it was turned off a minute later. “Thank god,” he muttered finishing off his coffee. Only to hear it turn back on again not too soon after.

“Oh come on! Princey, I know you don’t even need it turned on again, so cut it out!” Virgil yelled, looking at Roman who was staring at him with a smirk and a devious glint in his eyes.

Virgil got up and walked over to him, moving to turn off the blender himself, but got blocked by Roman. He kept trying but to no avail as Roman blocked him each and every time. Virgil held hi hands over his ears, tired of the loud noise that the blender made.

“For the love of god turn it off!” Virgil said, clenching his eyes shut and not opening them until the sound stopped. He didn’t move his hands until he felt Roman bring them away. He looked up at Roman, teary eyed.

“Virgil, my love! I am so sorry I didn’t mean to startle you, I thought it was harmless-” Virgil muttered something under his breath, not meeting Roman’s eye anymore. “What was that, my love?”

“I said, I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass,” Virgil smirked, wiping the fake tears from his eyes and looking up at Roman.

“Why, that was just cruel!” Roman complained as Virgil made his way back to the table.

“Virgil, language!” Patton scolded, waving his spatula at Virgil’s back.

Virgil just looked at Logan, who smiled at him as he sat down next to him. He reached across the table to grab his empty coffee mug and fiddled with it. He waited patiently for breakfast, listening to Logan talk to Patton from across the room. Patton was soon finished and had the plates at the table.

“Thank you, Patton. This seems to be a satisfactory breakfast. I commend you on your work,” Logan said as a plate was put in front of him.

“Of course, Lo! Thank you for eating it,” Patton said, sitting in his own seat next to Roman.

-----

“-And then I brought my sword up and it glimmered in the light, just like in all those movies-”

“Roman you’re so extra,” Virgil said, moving some eggs around on his plate.

“I heard that!” Roman shouted, standing up and stopping his retelling of a story

“You were supposed to!” Virgil said back, giggling to himself. He quickly slapped his hand over his mouth and looked up at Roman who looked down at him with the biggest grin on his face. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Aw, Virge! That was so adorable!” Patton squealed. Virgil sank down in his chair and crossed his arms.

“Stop it.” He commanded, glaring across the table at both of the sides.

“I must say, your giggle was pleasing to my ears,” Logan commented, making Virgil snap his head to the left and look at his half grin.

“Logan, not you too! You’re supposed to be on my side with these things!” Virgil shouted.

“Aw, Virgil, just let us tell you how much we love you~” Patton requested, putting his head in one hand and gazing dreamily at the said side.

“...I guess you can,” Virgil reluctantly responded, knowing it would make Patton happy.

Virgil felt someone grasp his right hand and looked at Logan in surprise, since he normally wasn’t the one that showed his affection physically. Not that he did often in any other way, but it just seemed random to Virgil.

But he wasn’t going to complain.

#virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #roman sanders #prince sanders #morality sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #logic sanders #polyamsanders #sanders sides #evans work #fanfic

[zzpopzz]

Really long rant about how I made Vanilla Twilight, I typed it at 2am so it’s kinda crappy and boring, just skip through this post.

So I'd been thinking about it for a long time now, even before finishing Vanilla Twilight that I'd talk about it if someone asked, well that never happened so I was just thinking that I'd let it go but that post is so important to me so well fuck it I'll just talk about it anyway. I did it completely on a wimp like how cool would it be if I make a lyricstuck for Toumaki like I'd be the first (if anyone did this before me im sorry). The first song I intended to do wasn't VT, it was a much shorter and easier song. I saw the music video first time after a while and the lyrics gave me some scenes to draw right away, like the tones, the atmosphere, the lyrics all fit them very well, made me wanted to draw something happy but sad. The ending for it was a happy one instead of a sad one like other songs I did (I didn't post the ending for any of them, just let the viewers decide what it's gonna be) I was very scared like what if it won't turn out ok and people gonna hate me for it or no one even gonna look at it. Also what I visualized are mostly illustrations with backgrounds, what I never done before so high chance it won't go anywhere. I thought well let's just see how far will I get and won't talk about it at all until I post it so at least I won't be all barks no bite. I was very traumatized that someone might know about what I did so I locked all the files when I shut down my PC in case someone hack into it lmao. I started with making a storyboard(kinda) for it, this is where I first got trouble because there was some part I didn't think of when I visualized what I'd draw at first ( 'I don't feel so alone' part mostly and some in between) and it's only at this point that I realized how many I'd have to draw (over 40 images total) and it's mind blowing for someone who rarely finish a painting like me at that time, that number is more than what I'd draw in a year. VT doesn't have choruses that meant I can't do tricks like repeat some panels (I don't like this anyway). I usually painted on small canvas before that but I wanna make sure I can fix things later and some idea I had was pretty big so I used 3000x5000px canvas then trimmed them down ( I didn't know how big it was and it's huge). The idea was to make a tumblr scroll-post like a lyricstuck (my favorites are by paperseverywhere and toastyhat/emptyfeet , they made really cool tutorials about these) so I tried to drew out compositions that would look good scrolling down panel by panel and have some connections between them (this didn't turn out so good in the end because I wasn't good lol) Since I was scared that people might point out that I draw something wrong, it took me almost a week or something searching for references (check my pinterest board) like the streets, sky, houses, roads, outfits, poses,... I was going to draw. I got some knowledge about bikes by this too, like I can tell the differences between road bike, mtb, touring bikes,... I also see and captured bunches of screenshots and reread ywpd trivia countless time to make sure I won't get anything wrong. If you take notice, every outfit Toumaki wear in there are all canon, from anime or promos. The first few panels was really exciting because I had never painted so many with backgrounds before, I was really happy when I almost finished the first verse even compared to the full 3:50 of the song it was only 20 seconds and I thought maybe I can pull this after all. The last panel was intended to be Makichan standing infront of his house looking at the sky but I wanted to show the sky at the end of the panel and that wouldn't work on scroll-down post so I had to leave it for later, I repainted this panel for about 3 times and finished it just 30' before posting. The first panel of the second verse wasn't turning out alright too because that was my first time doing a 3 points perspective drawing and the colors didn't turn out as I wanted either (my intention was a green/gold dawn scene). Things kinda worked well despite that until the scene when Toudou sits in his ink, gdi I didn't know why I was so caught up in that and painted every piece of that wooden floor, it took me almost a week but turned out better than I expected so I was ok with it. I was going to make sketchy paintings for all of the panel but I did too much details on that one so it gave me the impression that I'll have to do just as much for every others. Now I still had school to go and that semester my uni got me pretty crappy schedule that made me have to wait for classes at school frequently, I was frustrated because I didn't get to paint during that time and I might finish it too late (even though I didn't set a deadline) and when I got home I just spent so much time checking twitter and just can't pick myself up to draw and ended up feeling shitty about it. *Side story*  I was so mad because I didn't get anything done and there's still more than half of the whole thing to do and the worst part is that I had no one that I can talk to because I didn't have any friend who ship Toumaki and I also don't want to publicly talk about what I was doing, I wanted to surprise people when I'm done, I didn't wanna give people the expectation then screw it up (I literally thought I'd drop a bomb not a grenade lmao) I can't remember how long was that shitty phase but I felt like it was so long, I barely finished verse 2 at that point. I was so mad at myself and my progress so I spent a few days to look at time management threads and this helped a lot, I changed my habits completely  by this and I still apply those methods now, like I used to stay up til 3am to read fics (bless you writers you fueled me with your writings bless you all) then I switch to bed before 12 and get up early for a good start or reduce working time while increasing quality* After that I kinda got things together,I just went ahead with painting tho it's still kinda tiring, I had to work on 5 essays during this time too. At this point I was like screw all, I give no shit about what everyone thinks I'm just gonna finish this and get some good nap (I practiced power nap to get more focus time for painting but dude everyone wants a good long nap) 10 days before uploading I found out that there's a Toumaki day (I'm so sorry), I was going to posted on the first sunday of June (I did researched on which was the best time to post on social medias so I randomly picked a sunday) and Toumaki day is the last sunday of May, that meant I had 10 days left and 15 panels to paint! I was going to ignore that but I already made it big I should make it right too so I shit my pants going through those last panels. I purposely hiding Toudou's face till the last verse to emphasize the feelz and got so relieved that I finally got to paint him (I read some tags that some viewers got emotional at this part so I'm so glad it worked). The whole things was put under Makichan's perspective so I was so sick of painting him at that point, he showed up in every panel and I can't paint him ugly because he's beautiful (especially his hair, I spent shitload of time painting them). I can talk lots about why I picked to do so but that's headcanon shit and it's embarrassing so let's just skip that. The last day I had only 3 panels left and I was hell confident that I've got this and somehow spent the whole evening rewatch Toumaki pingpong ep (end me). Of course that didn't end well, I managed to finish those by midnight but I still had like 3 panels that needed  repaint completely and all 43 needed retouch and edits. My plan was to post at 9am sunday (thats 9pm saturday est) so I had to get up at 5am and finish all that, I ended up cutting down 2 panels and simplified the instrumental panel (some tags said that was nice so I was at least relieved). Unlike other songs I did, the length of every line's quite different and the original sizes I did would make viewers have to scroll slower or faster at different parts. I didn't plan this beforehand and had to trim down some panels even the parts that I really liked and spent lots of time on. I also found out that people outside the homestuck fandom might not familiar with this type of post so I made a video too (I’m sorry I have zero skill in editing). After posting I was terrified of people's reactions or worse, there won't be any reaction so I turned everything off and went to sleep and woke up with an unimaginable number of notes I'd got, I set the target of 500 notes and I really didn't think that I'd get past that number like maybe 2-300 (well my other songs didnt even get 200), at the end I got 5000. I spent the next week reading and screencap tags given in reblogs, I put them on desktop and they're still my motivation til now. Vanilla Twilight is the thing I'm proud of the most even until now, when I've done other songs and projects that look somewhat better. If I have to recommend one thing on my blog I'd recommend it despite its' unskilled paneling, poor composition and muddy colors. It was the first time in my life that I'd put so much effort into something and went through such emotional roller coaster, the feelings I put into it was raw and the idea was very original compared to other songs, I improved and changed a lot during the 2 months I spent on it and never once regret doing it. ***Anyway, you sure have much free time to read it this far, here's a little game for you: I put random things in VT and HF like some characters/stuff from other series, my ocs,... (there wasn't anything purposeless in there even the logo on their cups or the bags they wear) just send me anything you find and I'll draw you something in return**

#toumaki #tweetdump #rant #poopask

[thotragnar0k]

i’ve been occasionally vague in my tags recently (don’t know if anyone actually reads them when i do add them but anyway) and I figured i should probably explain myself.

this past month of august has been really hard for all the good things that have happened in it. i’ve been feeling really upset about my body, my eating habits and my lifestyle, and while i thought being at home wasn’t helping, i was wrong (for reasons that will be explained in this super long post - i am so sorry people who don’t care about me).

i’ve never been happy with my weight. friends of mine have probably noticed that i put myself down a lot - saying self-deprecating things like I’m ugly and one such thing today i’m nowhere near pretty enough to a) marry rich and b) have a sugar daddy (you don’t need context here) - and it’s a problem i am subconsciously trying to fix. 

but as i was saying, my body and i have never been on good terms. i think that my curves are in all the wrong places, and i feel like i’m in that gross in-between where no clothes look good on me, and I don’t have the right proportions for my tall (5′7-5′8) body.

i celebrated my 20th birthday this year, twice technically. Once a few days before with my friends and another the weekend of with my family. Firstly the night out with my friends. Sidenote: I’m not a ‘night out’ kind of girl. I don’t really like to get hammered. I will, I just won’t drink so much that I’ll throw up - mostly because I’m lazy and down want to have to clean. But as we were all at home, I figured fuck it, lets go out-out. Sometimes you just need to go out and get drunk with some friends. 

three things happened that night that made me hate myself. three things, I don’t think I’ve actually told my friends (both of which are on tumblr and may see this if i don’t mass reblog other things immediately after it), or if i have I’ve played it off. 

the first thing: my choice of outfit. again body issues. and lack of night out clothing. i don’t own any jeans that actually sit on my waist. i have high waisted jeans but unfortunately they always slip down to my hips (under my muffin top). my friends looked gorgeous. i felt like i stood out, but in a really bad way. sure the dress i wore was nice, but it wasn’t anything like the outfits they were wearing; jeans and a fancy top. 

the second thing: dancing on a bar in coyote ugly. i did it because, you only dance on a bar once and they were doing it. i can’t dance. i have zero rhythm in this body. dancing on a bar did nothing to help my self confidence. i felt like everybody was watching me and judging me and it made me want to disappear into my bed and never leave it again. 

and the third thing, also happening in coyote ugly; riding a rodeo bull. sure i’d love to say that i was too drunk to care. but i wasn’t. i was tipsy sure, but not too drunk. the thing that made me hate myself during this section of the night out - i couldn’t even get on the bull. my thick ass thighs kept sticking to the seat of the bull and my weak arms couldn’t pull my fat ass up. Sure I got up eventually, but the embarrassment of not being able to get on a rodeo bull was enough to completely slam dunk my self esteem into a trash can and into a bottomless pit. so that was fantastic. 

concerning the weekend with my family; i found myself crying in the bathroom silently before we went to cardiff because i wanted to dress up nice because we were going to a nice steakhouse, but my problems with my body just made me want to hide under a big baggy jumper. 

and i did. i found my biggest, baggiest jumper and i hid in it, because I couldn’t stand to see my disgusting body in something vaguely form fitting. no one commented on it, no one cared, but i did. and to be honest, i think it ruined my birthday.

and thats so sad, that such a small insignificant thing could ruin a while day. but it did. and to me it didn’t feel like a small, insignificant thing. it felt like a huge weight on my shoulder, drowning me completely. it also impacted my relationship with my boyfriend. he noticed that i haven’t been texting him as much as i usually do (not that im crazy, i just like to know how his day is going) and when we were conversing I was barely responding and being quite distant. and i hate it that that’s a thing i do; isolating myself to deal with my problems. i’m better now. i talk to him as much as i used to do, if not slightly less because i have nothing to do at the moment and there’s no point texting him for a cuddle because i’m not anywhere near each other for that instant gratification.

there have been many a night this summer where i have depersonalised (link here for those who want to know more) because of these issues, and its so hard to pull myself out of that floaty feeling. I’m better at it now than I used to be, but it’s still so hard. 

i’ve had so many things i need to do in preparation for third year of uni but these episodes of depersonalisation have really stood in the way of actually doing that. i’ve got photos of a mutual that i need to retouch and send back to her but i can’t pick up the energy to sit at my laptop and do that work because i feel disconnected to part of my body. 

and knowing she’ll read this, she’ll say just send them over to me un-edited; but the nit-picky, perfectionist part of my brain refuses to let me do that. i can’t send them to you because these aren’t perfect. they aren’t right. i can’t send them because this stray hair is out of place or this photo isn’t quite correctly exposed and sure, it seems trivial but it isn’t to me. 

i went to a convention this past weekend; asylum steampunk in lincoln. i was helping my mum sell her books, occasionally assisting a photographer and his team, and running around taking photos. it was an odd convention; i felt as though i’d both done a lot and nothing at the same time. usually i feel so tired after a multiple day convention that i need a four day nap to catch up. but i was actually okay. 

i learned a lot about myself at that convention. firstly, i oddly like talking to people and selling books. sure it’s hella tiring for just sitting behind a stall and occasionally selling a product. but chatting to people was actually really nice. my family tend to stick to ourselves. for welsh people (y’know that stereotype that welsh people never shut up) we don’t tend to socialise much, and networking is not our strongest asset. 

the other thing i, well i guess i re-learned; photographing people at conventions for fun is actually fun. For the past three or four conventions i’ve been to - comic, gaming and steampunk - i’ve always been thinking about how i can use the photos as a series for university. but this time; i wasn’t thinking about that. i wasn’t caring if the background was any good, or if the lighting was perfect. i was just taking the photos. and it was so relaxing and fun. it wasn’t work.

for three of the four days we were at that convention, i got into the spirit and i dressed up for it. One of the outfits, that was sort of like a steampunk-y mechanic was a wide-full leg jumpsuit that my mum and i made together a few weeks before. i tracked half of my journey of that on twitter, (the bits i did, the cutting the fabric etc - my mum actually sewed the whole thing together- though i did give her a shoutout on twitter for all her hardwork). I actually really enjoyed wearing that outfit (mostly because the pockets were s o b i g), for the other two days i went slightly more piratey, wearing striped brown and black l=pants and a flowey striped white shirt one day and a light lace skirt and off the shoulder top on the other. that skirt, i don’t know why i don’t wear it more often (aside from the fact it doesn’t fit any outfits i have and i’ll look like an idiot wearing it anywhere other than a convention) because i think i look so good in it (baring in mind the lack of body positivity i have, this is a big deal).

the other thing that i’ve been doing this summer is i’ve been getting into make-up and even fashion i guess, trying to learn how to do that stuff (man it’s hard, why didn’t i start earlier). make-ups not so much of a problem in what i’m about to talk about, but watching fashion videos on youtube is rather annoying when you’re an average to slightly above average weight. I’ve not found (until today, the videos i’m watching right now as i write this) any youtubers that are fashion related that are anywhere near the shape/weight that i am. They’re either super skinny waifs who can fit into anything they want (and like that one i saw, saying that a size fourteen is a great size for oversized clothing - bitch please, stop) or plus size and self confident with those curves in the right places and much bigger than i can relate to. not that there’s a problem with either, there’s just not as much representation for the ‘average’ person. there probably is and i just haven’t found it (currently watching lucy wood) and i need to look better into it. i can guarantee that is definitely the case. but still i’d love youtube to recommend those youtubers to me please.

something that i did realise from the steampunk weekend was that i was so busy ‘working’ if you can call it that, that i forgot to eat the crap that i usually eat during the day, and i guess i forgot to drink water (which is not a good thing, drink water kids). but the main thing is not eating crap all day, paired with the amount of walking i did that weekend (almost 30,000 steps over four days) has actually made me lose half a stone since the last time i weighed myself at the end of july. (so i’m very pleased about this) 

so sure, while third year is going to be so, so stressful, i’m making steps towards feeling better about myself and making sure i do 5-10 thousand steps a day and not eat as much crap as i usually do, but most importantly; learning to love myself and my body. 

oh my god this post is so long. i’m so sorry anyone who reads all this. 

tl,dr: the month of august has been depressing, body issues galore and i’m probably being ridiculous but i’m trying to get better.

#ty talks trash #mental health #body positivity #body issues #depersonalisation #me #personal #a talk about me #i've cried basically the whole time writing this #honestly it's taken like an hour and a half #longer than i usually spend on essays for uni #pouring your heart out to strangers is hard #but not as hard as telling your family that you spent most of summer crying about my bod #body #long post #sorry #warning #no punctuation #this is my brain #it's probably disconnected #props to you if you read it all and not get bored #or tired #or depressed #or you don't cry #yep #done #i am tired now

[furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog]

What would my approximate Auto Insurance rates be with a motorcycle?

"What would my approximate Auto Insurance rates be with a motorcycle?

I know no one can say exactly what my rate would be, but if I could get a ball park figure, that would be great.   I live in Lakeland, Florida. I'm have State Farm, have never been ticketed for anything, get the steer-clear and good grades discounts. I am currently on my mom's plan. I would either stay on her plan with the motorcycle as my only personal vehicle, or would have my own car and my bike. I will take the MSF course before getting my license.  I will be 20 when I get my bike. I would be getting a 250cc bike to learn on, and probably trading up for a 600cc later.   Where would my rates fall for a 250cc bike and a 600cc bike? I would be listed as a primary driver on my mom's plan.   I know insurance is full of variables, but if anyone could possibly give me any ballpark figure, I'd appreciate it!   Thanks

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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What is the cheapest car insurance company?

Need help with Car Insurance?

I am a 17 year old male in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance, as cheap as I can get. I have shopped around and its not helping. PLEASE DONT SAY LOOK IT UP YOURSELF CAUSE I HAVE AND I AM ASKING FOR SOME HELP!!!""

Can someone help me figure out how to get car insurance?? Very confused :(?

This is my first time ever getting a car loan, making payments & getting insurance by myself & so far it's been frustrating & confusing!! If anyone could help steer me in the right direction it'd be much appreciated! --I'm originally from Arkansas. I moved to North Dakota with my man, got a job & started vehicle hunting. One of my friends up here, also from AR, had a truck close to getting on the repo list because he couldn't make payments anymore. This truck is registered in AR. So, I got a loan & bought his truck from him. I got this loan Oct 4th, a month ago. All I'm trying to do is register this truck, pay sales tax & get insurance. I understand I'm not ever getting the title but my bank will & when I explained that the title hadn't been sent to my bank yet, the dmv lady said I couldn't even get temporary tags?? Can I get insurance with the truck not being registered yet?? If it's not officially mine bc the title hasn't been sent to my bank. ???""

Citroen saxo car insurance?

How much would this cost for a 17 year old male who has just passed his test?

WHAT CAR INSURANCE COMPANY IS THE CHEAPEST IN NJ?

WHAT CAR INSURANCE COMPANY IS THE CHEAPEST IN NJ?

I need to find cheap car insurance?

I am looking for car insurance and from where i am at right now with geico i will be paying over 300 dollars and thats the cheapest i could find. im currently 17 i have a permit not a licence and im about to turn 18 in a month. would it be cheaper to wait till im 18 should i get my licence now? im so confused......

Question about car insurance?

I called up my car insurers the otger day to change my circumstances (Recently become unemployed) and they proceeded to tell me that car insurance is more expensive if you don't have a job, why is this and how in gods name is that fair, surely if anything car insurance should be cheaper for those who struggle to pay bills as it is, instead of increasingthe bloody premium, I was lucky enough to have the charge waved however how the hell are people on benifits expected to afford to run there cars? Lol really they are just making it harder to find work due to only being able to find jobs locally, is it just me or does this sound unfair?""

How much do you pay for car insurance and does it cover both you and the other driver in an accident?

Now before you answer the question please make sure and find out if your really covered.............because if your paying something less than $140 a month than most likely your only covering the other car in an accident. If possible answer my previous question. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Asd8meepYLHdCri7Gn6VxzXsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090607110936AARsYEy

Best place for car insurance?

I'm 16, and so I plan on starting to learn all the theory before starting driving lessons the day after my 17th birthday - as you can probably tell! Anyway, my mother and I have been discussing little cars and what not for when I pass, but insurance is another problem. Is anybody aware of a good place that will insure a teenager for not too much? I have heard that Admiral's Littlebox is quite good - has anybody any reviews for them? All answers and suggestions greatly appreciated! :-) Thanks""

I live in California and was involved in a car accident. My insurance had lapsed prior to the accident.?

I was behind on my insurance because I don't have much money. I actually was going to pay it this week since I just got paid, regardless the accident happened last week. I pulled out in front of a lady and her car t-boned my car. Her and her passengers were injured and were taken to the hospital for minor airbag related injures. I had minor whiplash. I was given a citation for failure to yield to oncoming traffic (vc 21804 (a)) and for no proof of insurance (vc 16028 (c)). What kind of fines/penalties should I expect when I appear in court. Also, if the other driver didn't have insurance can she still sue me for her medical bills?""

How do I get health insurance?

I'm a 18 year old girl and on my own. I have no health insurance and is now two weeks pregnant. Can anyone give me a clue on how to get health insurance? Like step by step?

What is the cheapest health insurance in California for Students?

I am a students planning to attend UC Davis this Fall. I just found out that all California Universities require students to have health insurance. What is the cheapest insurance out there?

Need advice suing homeowners insurance?

In 2008 lightening strike hit house and since that time we hav had 6 water dameges in the house.Since that time all insurance companies NEVER real INVESTIGATE or find COUSE OF THAT, Finnaly again We have had BLACK SEPTIC WATER n the house 06/19/2012. 9 days after adjuster show and underastimate damages. month after that , after we constantly complain, ask for updated estimate and approval damages so that we hire contractor Property finaly has been inspected again and they find much more damages ( so far $83.000.00 ). House is damaged very much as well as our belongings. All that time from 2008-today insurance companys charged as with deductibles , we spend lot money trying to fix problems, we are darined emotionaly and financionaly. Last year , just after one similar claim ( 01/06/2011 black water flood ) we were FORCED to file for CH 13 that we can at least save what we can save, TODAY, Insurance company with who is house covered has not reacted We think fast enough to save more house and our belongings. Insurance is escaping to cover what need to be maybe replaced( wood entrance door through septic water was running , built in castum made cabinets in master beedroom, cut wall and replaced behind showertubs........) 9 days after that accident we finaly has Insurance attention and the send SERPRO here. Servpro find that water was SEPTIC, Walls need to be Cut ( so far 1 foot from the ground ). When Servpro cut draywalls ut shows that stabs 2x4 has been damaged , they spray them ( we think that they need to replace them )......... We are now in almost two months after accident becouse we do not agree on damages sattlemant. They serve us on 08.01.2012 with activating adjusster process and we do not have money any more to pay for that, OUR HOUSE DURING PAST 4 YEARS BECOUSE OF ALL THIS LOST LOT ON VALUE AND WE WOULD LIKE TO SUE INSURANCE COMPANIES AS WELL AS TWO LANDERS WHO WERE IGNORING PROBLEM IN THE HOUSE. WE HAVE PROOF FOR ALL THIS . IS ANYWHERE POOSIIBLE TO FIND ATORNEY WHO CAN HELP US LITTLE BIT WITH THIS BIG BROBLEM MY HOUSBAND IS 61 I AM 55 AND MY HOUSBAND IS THISE DAY WORKING OUTSIDE FOR AROUND 70 HOURS A WEEK THAT WE CAN PAY OUR RAISING EXPANSSESS. IT IS NOT RIGHT.""

Cheapest Auto Insurance Humanly Possible?

I am a college student living on campus and want to have a car but will not be driving it much at all. I am just looking for the most basic and least expensive auto insurance I can find. I am 19 with no tickets or accidents yada yada yada. Where can I find some cheap coverage?

Best choice of car for 18yr old male FOR INSURANCE?

Im looking for a first car, but being a 18yr old male, all the insurance companies just look at that, deem me a Boy racer and whack an extra 600 average to my insurance! (I know this as i did the research.) So im actully asking 2 questions 1) What is the best cheap/cheapest car to run? 2) What is the best insurer to buy from? I dont really mind what sort of car i drive, so long as its not pink.""

Car insurance question?

So i just cancelled my policy with a company i was having trouble with (it cost 492) so i am broke now, and i cant really afford another policy as im returning to college next week. However, i can afford a policy under my mums name, but is it possible to go under my mums name when the car is registered to me? Also, does anybody know any good/cheap insurance companies?""

How much should car insurance cost me?

im 16 and ive been saving some money for a while and i bought a 1998 honda civic, im currently paying $265/month for insurance is that too much, because im not sure im going to make the insurance this month because my hours were cut""

How will being unemployed affect my car insurance rates?

After being with Wawanesa for 12 years I let my car insurance lapse for 2 months and now have to reapply. I am now unemployed, how will that affect my rates? Do they look at it as driving less since no job to go to or driving more since excess free time now?""

What would my approximate Auto Insurance rates be with a motorcycle?

I know no one can say exactly what my rate would be, but if I could get a ball park figure, that would be great.   I live in Lakeland, Florida. I'm have State Farm, have never been ticketed for anything, get the steer-clear and good grades discounts. I am currently on my mom's plan. I would either stay on her plan with the motorcycle as my only personal vehicle, or would have my own car and my bike. I will take the MSF course before getting my license.  I will be 20 when I get my bike. I would be getting a 250cc bike to learn on, and probably trading up for a 600cc later.   Where would my rates fall for a 250cc bike and a 600cc bike? I would be listed as a primary driver on my mom's plan.   I know insurance is full of variables, but if anyone could possibly give me any ballpark figure, I'd appreciate it!   Thanks

Car Insurance Question?

Hi, im 16 and 17 in August living in Ireland, and i'm thinking of buying either a Honda Civic 1999-2001 or a Honda integra 1998-2001 aswell, i'm a guy and i'm wondering how much it'll cost to insure either one of them, and also what car is better""

""Need a car insurance, monthly, bad credit.?""

I need a car insurance policy that insures drivers with bad credit on a monthly payment. I dont want to buy a car and then be unable to insure it, as i cant afford to pay in full. Thanks""

Who has the best health insurance in California for college students?

I am a full time college student, and I am looking for health care insurance, but I'm not for sure which to go for. I was looking up Blue Shield of California, Health net, and Kaiser, but I'm new to this.""

If you rent a budget truck will my insurance company insure it while im driving it?

If you rent a budget truck will my insurance company insure it while im driving it?

Insurance cost for a truck?

chevy silverado 2010 im 18

Trying to get public liability insurance?

I am a self employed sub-contractor for a drylining and plastering company. I am trying to get public liability insurance but every single insurance website or insurance comparing website keeps asking me for my business details and address and whether I have any employees and how long business has been trading etc....obviously none of these are applicable to me as I don't own and run a business but can't complete the form without the details. Can any other sub contractors tell me how they filled theirs in?

Insurance on 2009 A4 TFSI (I'm 19)?

What would be the insurance rate for a 2009 Audi A4 TFSI (4 cilinder 2.0 turbo) for me, I'm 19 years old and I live in Florida. I have a 2008 335i which is V6 twin-turbo and the insurance is high, can't afford US$6000 a semester. thank u""

What car with...cheap insurance?

Hi all.... Well I have my test in 2wks I have 2x 2hour lessons a wk so I best pass! Ha Anyway I need abit of advice on cars and insurance, I am 21year old female. Can anyone suggest any cheap insurance company and what type of car may be best I have 2000 pound currently saved for my first car! Thanks xx and wish me luck ha x""

Insurance for a motorcycle in Toronto.?

I am an 18 year old Torontonian planning to get a new kawasaki ninja 250R. It would be a great help if someone can give me an idea of about how much it would cost me for the insurance coverage the ninja 250r. (Both basic as well as other plans.) I don't have a license yet which i am planning to get once i figure out everything.( the cost, insurance procedure etc etc.) Here in toronto, we don't have the luxury to ride two wheelers year round because we have so called the FRIGID TEMPERATURE during the winter. Do i still have to pay insurance during the winter regardless the fact dat i won't be able to ride my ninja during the winter?""

How do insurance comparison sites work?

Sites like go compare and compare the market? I have searched for car insurance using both and get the same company coming up but offering a different price, why is this?""

Why is health insurance so hard to get?

I'm almost 20 years old, a full time student and do not have health insurance. When I was 16, my parents switched insurance companies, and for some reason or other they did not put me on their policy. So I have not had insurance for 3 years. In February I found out I was pregnant so I began applying for Medicaid. Before all the paperwork was done, I had miscarried and in the process racked up almost $6000 in medical bills. I went to the medicaid office and they told me that they would cover my bills even though I was no longer pregnant and college students don't qualify. After 2 months of waiting, Medicaid denied me and the hospital turned me into a collection agency. I was denied because I make too much money. I make $8.55 an hour and work about 15 hours a week. Yes I do make good money for a student but I have worked at the business for 3 1/2 years. Because I am not a full time employee, I don't qualify for insurance, but only managers and department heads are full time. I can't get a second job to help pay the costs because my first job wont work around another one, and I can't find a full time job because no where is hiring. Plus it would be very hard to find anywhere that pays as well as the job I have here. So if health insurance is so important to have, then why is it so hard to obtain?""

""Got a dui in ny, how much will car insurance go up?""

OK so i recently was caught for a DUI in NY state , i am under my sister's insurance (geico) and the car is in my name....i want to know how much will the insurance go up even though my sister never had a claim and i am under her...""

Couple questions on motorcycle insurance?

So I recently just bought a motorcycle 07 Yamaha R6S. I'm 19 years old and first time rider. I financed the bike under my name. My parents have Allstate and I'm under there insurance for the car insurance. Can they add a motorcycle under their insurance or do I have to go on my own? If so, how much is full coverage on a bike for a 19 year old? I have 1 ticket on record. Would I be able to just get liability? I live in California. Any advice would be helpful.""

What would insurance be for me with these cars?

2002 Impreza rs. silver, 4 door, all wheel drive, manual transmission. 2004 nissan sentra se-r, silver, 4 door, manual transmission. I'm 17 years old and would drive the car to work and school about 5 days a week.""

Car Insurance (Geico) ?

My parents don't have me on their insurance but I have a license does geico know I have my licence because I live with my parents? And by how much will they raise the insurance cost if they put me on?

Does anyone understand how rental cars work? Insurance/fuel fees... Think I got taken to school on this.?

I just had to bring my car to the shop for a repair. They ended up needing to keep it. Now a rental was covered under the warranty. So at least the rental was covered. But the guy had me signing off on insurance and what not. I guess the insurance on my car would cover the rental if I had an accident. But they would take from my cars deductible. So I basically signed off on a Collision Damage Waiver and also personal accident insurance. I did decline supplemental liability insurance though. Should the warranty be covering these fees or was this an extra that I got talked into? Because if the warranty covers the rental they aren't making anything. My understanding is it could be better because I am covered under their insurance if I have an accident and it wouldn't come off my own cars deductible? Kind of new to this and probably wouldn't have been worth trying to argue it after the fact that I signed off on stuff.So if I use this car for like 3 days I'm in it for like $60 in insurance. Also does anyone know how this buying the tank of gas works? I understood it as if I use so much then I pay there price of $5.60 a gallon. But I got told it was best to just buy the whole tank at $3.30 per gallon(best option seeing as gas is so much these days) And then to return it as close to empty as possible to get my moneys worth. If anyone can help me out so I know for next time if I can decline stuff or did I take the right steps and take there insurance so mine wouldn't be charged? After the fact I see I could have declined these.

What medical insurance is cheap in California? ?

Is there medicaid n Cali ? Or just Oklahoma

Whats the cheapest car insurance in ME?

Mazda RX7 1986 23yo driver no lapse have a wet and reckless from california. Need cheapest Liability coverage

Can you get your Lexis-Nexis insurance score?

I recently got a quote for auto insurance, and the company said they used Lexis-Nexis insurance score - am I entitled to get a copy of this report for free? If anything on it is wrong, can I have it changed?""

How much would insurance cost me?

Hi im 16 and an about a week im going to get my car the honda s2000. my parents wanted me to look around for insurance under there name? you guys know any cheap insurance companys? and how much do u think it would cost me a month?

Are Replica Cars Cheaper To Insure Than Normal Every Day Cars?

Would An AC Cobra Convertible Replica Be Cheaper To Insure Than Say A Renault Megane CC Or Saab 93 Convertible

About how much would liability insurance be for a lawn care business with 2 workers?

Any idea of what liability insurance would be monthly for a brand new business that mainly mows, weedeats, and blows trimmings/leaves? Only 2 guys working (partners) the yards and one secretary/accountant.""

How does car insurance work?

I got a ticket for not having endurance but the car i was driving (my dads) does. Can i just show proof of insurance to get the ticket off or does the insurance have to say my name in order to be taken off? Example:: In that case how do you explain road tests at the dps for driving license? They ask for insurance of the car your testing in but clearly its not in your name since you don't have a license yet they let you drive it. What happens in case of an accident? Will it not be covered since the person behind the wheel is not in the document? Can i take off the ticket or not? Or is car insurance all about the person behind the wheel? Isn't it supposed to be for the car no matter who is driving? Please explain if i got it all wrong and have to pay the ticket

What is the cost of car insurance in ontario canada?

i live in thorhill. i just got my licence (G2). im 19 and a student. anyone can give me an approximation of the fee per month?

What car is quite cheap to buy and is also cheap on insurance for a first time driver?

my parents are gettin me a car but im payin insurance .. any ideas?

What would my approximate Auto Insurance rates be with a motorcycle?

I know no one can say exactly what my rate would be, but if I could get a ball park figure, that would be great.   I live in Lakeland, Florida. I'm have State Farm, have never been ticketed for anything, get the steer-clear and good grades discounts. I am currently on my mom's plan. I would either stay on her plan with the motorcycle as my only personal vehicle, or would have my own car and my bike. I will take the MSF course before getting my license.  I will be 20 when I get my bike. I would be getting a 250cc bike to learn on, and probably trading up for a 600cc later.   Where would my rates fall for a 250cc bike and a 600cc bike? I would be listed as a primary driver on my mom's plan.   I know insurance is full of variables, but if anyone could possibly give me any ballpark figure, I'd appreciate it!   Thanks

How much is medical insurance?

How much would medical insurance cost in Ohio (approximately) for 2, 30 years olds and one baby?""

Drivers License and Car Insurance?

My friend had a friend of his drive his car when he was drinking because he didn't want an OMVI. His friend quit paying for car insurance but said he still has his drivers license. Is that possible? Also, my friend said he wasn't worried about an accident because my friend has insurance and he thinks that covers all drivers in his car with a drivers license. I feel that if he got in an accident, his insurance won't pay because he has a non-insured driver driving his car. He said I'm wrong. Who's right and who's wrong here????""

Car accident/car insurance help 18 year old girl?

i am an 18 year old girl (almost 19) living near miami, fl. i am looking to get my own car insurance eventually i have had 2 major accidents -the first one was when i was 17. totaled a 93 bmw in the rain, no other cars involved. i was in the hospital for a week -the second one was recently, i rear ended a small car with my 98 mountaineer. i got a careless driving ticket. the damage is pretty bad (mostly to the radiator) i have also had 2 speeding tickets, both when i was under 18. right now i am looking to get a 2004-2010 used 4x4 pickup truck how much would car insurance cost me per month (estimate) and what would be the best company for me to go with?""

How much should a person pay for car insurance in uk?

How much should a person pay for car insurance in uk?

""In Las Vegas, do you have to have car insurance in order to drive? Is it required.?

Do you have to have car insurance to have a license?

Why is my car insurance so much cheaper than other companies?

i was looking around for auto insurance to see if there was anything cheaper than what im paying now. im a 20 year old male with a 2005 scion tc. i have been driving for about 2 years and currently use state farm. when i first insured my car 2 years ago, i was paying $148/mo. due to a speeding ticket, it has risen to $194/mo. i also have comprehensive and collision with a $500 deductible. $100,000/$300,000 coverage with full glass also. not complaining, i think this is great i looked at nationwide, allstate, geico, and progressive. these companies are supposed to be so great, but progressive quoted me at $485/mo for the same coverage! the other companies where all in that general area. progressives state minimum coverage plan for me was almost $300/mo. why do these other companies cost so much more? im not complaining about mine, obviously im not gonna switch, but i am curious as to the difference in price.""

Good grades and auto insurance?

I heard that if you get a 3.0 GPA or above, you can get discounts for auto insurance. But do we have to email the grades to the insurance company or do they call the college for it?""

Do you need proof of car insurance to get your license in Illinois?

Do you need proof of car insurance to get your license in Illinois?

Is it worth it to buy the extra insurance for a UHaul rental truck?

That is, even though my car insurance covers rentals, I have a 500 dollar deductible. Does getting the rental truck insurance make it so there is no deductible in case of an accident?""

Which type of Insurance help more in tax deduction?

I am earning more than 3 lacs per annual, now i have to pay tax but i have heard from my colleagues if i do invest in some insurance policy tax deduction will be less.So in which type of insurance should i invest?.""

Car insurance for first car?

hello! How much did you paid for car insurance at the first time when you get your first car?

Cheapest car insurance?

I'm fifteen, about to get my permit. But my parents are worried about the insurance cost when I get my license. What's the cheapest insurance? Also, I'm hearing impaired so would that effect the cost? I don't need a specially adapted car or anything. Would the insurance company knowing I'm hearing impaired help cover any fender-benders I may get in from not hearing something? Thanks for any info. Olivia""

Does residency matter in determining auto insurance for a college student?

I'm a current college student in the middle of transferring schools and getting a new insurance policy. I have two schools in mind, one is 5 minutes from home in a suburban neighborhood and the other is 200 miles away in an urban city environment. Depending on where I attend, will this affect my new insurance policy? Will living at home going to school close-by have a lower insurance rate than going to school outta town and living by myself?""

Affordable health insurance for a 19 year old?

I am a 19 year old white female, i live in California, i go to a community college part time, and i babysit and work part time as a substitute custodian(no benefits). Im looking for really cheap even free health insurance since I make roughly $120-$400 a month. I've looked at my school's health care, it doesn't cover what i want(just covers family planing and std test). I would like something that would cover doctor visits or i pay a small copay. If anyone knows what i can do or where to look, i would greatly appreciate it.""

How much would the insurance be on a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS for an 18 year old?

I need to know how much it would be for both the 454 and 396 model. *And my driving record is clean.

How much would full coverage insurance be with 2 points on my license?

I am almost 24 and I want to get a new car but I'm not sure how much I can afford a month because I'm not sure how much full coverage insurance would be. I was recently in an accident so I have 2 points on my license and never paid full coverage so I have no idea around how much it would be.

Can I get Motorcycle insurance for a hired motorcycle in Thailand?

I am planning to spend two weeks in Phuket and intend to hire a motorcycle. Is there anyway i can get compriensive insurance for this? Thanks Phil

Cheapest Contents Insurance Company?

Hi i need to get contents insurance for a rented house with 4 bedrooms. the cheapest i've found is HSBC - 19 a month (unlimited) Do you know of anywhere else that's cheaper?????????????????? Thanks.

Will speed camera tickets effect my car insurance in Maryland?

I have gotten several speed camera tickets in the past few months.. these things have been unknowingly til after the flash, been popping up!! Will these effect my car insurance? I have progressive.""

""In general, how much is health insurance?

Life insurance?

Are inoperable vehicles required to have insurance coverage in AZ?

My plates and registration where suspended on an inoperable but registered vehicle I own. Phoenix, or maybe the whole of Arizona, requires me to have current registration on all vehicles, running or not, located on my property if they can be seen from the street. And yet, the DMV (or MVD as it's called here) suspended my plates and registration on one of the inoperable vehicles I own for lack of insurance coverage on said vehicle. Am I required to insure inoperable vehicles? Furthermore, am I required to declare a vehicle as inoperable with the DMV or my insurance company? Is there a special type of registration required that I did not know about?""

""My brother wrecked my car and the Insurance wont cover it, what can I do?

While I was out of the country my brother wrecked my car and the insurance company wont cover it. I have full coverage and my brother had my permission to be driving my car so how can they refuse to pay?

Kids Health Insurance?????

Which kids health insurance will pay for braces?

Can i get my own car insurance ?

i am 18 and my mom cant afford to have me on her car insurance can i get my own???

Cheap cars with a nice interior??????????

Hey im 18 and hoping to buy my first car soon (Living inthe uk) I'll probably buy a used car too I want a car thats cheap to run, cheap insurance, etc But with a nice interior :) This cars interior is perfect! http://www.zcars.com.au/images/2009-honda-accord-euro-interior22.jpg Can you guys reccomend any?""

What would my approximate Auto Insurance rates be with a motorcycle?

I know no one can say exactly what my rate would be, but if I could get a ball park figure, that would be great.   I live in Lakeland, Florida. I'm have State Farm, have never been ticketed for anything, get the steer-clear and good grades discounts. I am currently on my mom's plan. I would either stay on her plan with the motorcycle as my only personal vehicle, or would have my own car and my bike. I will take the MSF course before getting my license.  I will be 20 when I get my bike. I would be getting a 250cc bike to learn on, and probably trading up for a 600cc later.   Where would my rates fall for a 250cc bike and a 600cc bike? I would be listed as a primary driver on my mom's plan.   I know insurance is full of variables, but if anyone could possibly give me any ballpark figure, I'd appreciate it!   Thanks

Can i get my parents Life Insurance?

Were can i get life Insurance for my parents? Im gonna be a Lawyer and they get good money. Also i want my parents to leave me money when they pass away. Im gonna be happy with money. I live in the Bay Area. what is the most that life insurance could give you? How much will you pay a month for the highest one?

Do you sell car insurance? PLEASE LOOK IF YOU DO! :)?

HI! I used to work at Cost-U-Less Insurance in Humboldt county Northern California... about 5 years ago. we worked on commission only.. so if you didn't write a policy you ...show more

How high will insurance go if i caused a small crash?

I was backing up and hit the guy behind me. I dented my bumper and broke my light (still works) his car doesnt have anything the matter with it. He told me he wants to see if it's broke and look at it in the morning and if thier isnt anything real bad he will let it go. He took my info. I'm paying $112 a month now the cars in my dads name. How much should i expect it to go up if he reports it? (no cops where involved) I'm also 16 i think age does matter not sure tho.

Any car insurance which insurances foreign cars?

Hi! I live in Italy and I am italian. I heard that there are some english insurance which insurance cars and people in foreign country. Is it real? do you know anything about that? Could you give me some advice about that? I am waiting your answers! Bye!

Liability insurance for massage therapist?

I will be getting my massage therapy license in about two weeks...if I work for a spa, will I need liability insurance? Or will my employer cover me?""

Can you not just pay liability instead of the full coverage car insurance if your car is not paid off?

Can you not just pay liability instead of the full coverage car insurance if your car is not paid off? I am confused, I just want liability on my car, because full coverage car insurance is too much for me to pay? Is there no way around not paying for full coverage? People who just have liability, is there car paid off and they are not making payments?? I am very young so I do not know much about this kind of stuff!""

How do I know if my auto insurance settlement offer is fair?

How do I know if my auto insurance settlement offer is fair?

Car insurance policies !?

a friend of mine said she had light house insurance.. she claims she pays X amount of money for a basic car insurance policy every 6 months.. keep in mind, i live on long island.. what kind of car insurance company offers a 1 payment policy every 6 months ?? my current insurance policy is expensive, i feel like theyre stealing from me.. please help out, i know there are A LOT of insurance companys..""

Car insurance cost for a 25 year old?

Hey, I am wondering how much it would cost to insure a 25 year old driving a 2012 Ford escape. Thanks in advance!""

If you work at GEICO what is your insurance rate for your car and house?

how much of a % off is it compared to customers?

""I've just passed my driving test, anyone know any cheap insurance companies?""

I'm 17 and female, I own an 04 fiat punto. Does anyone know of some good insurance prices? Thanks""

What is the best insurance company to work for?

I'm 19 and i have also thought getting into sales would be exciting. there is other reason but doesn't really matter. Anyway I'm hoping that there is a good Insurance company that has a good training program and allows entry level people to work hard and succeed. A company that wants people to succeed. So far every agent i have talked to has said their business is the one to be in so i just want some not so bias opinions. seems like all the insurance companies just want to get UN knowing teens ( like myself ) in and work them for 6 months to a year and suck them dry of all the money they have. i understand that you have to work and its not just six figures in the first year.

Is mutual insurance good?

One of the insurance brokers is asking for mutual insurance, I really dont know its good or not, If I ask him, he will say, its good to me. So asking you people. . Thanks""

Is my auto insurance too high?

i am 18 yrs old. my car is 2008 c class benz. my insurance for the car is 315 a month!!! aaghh!! is that too high or it is a good price for the car i drive? does the car model matter? please help!! i hate paying this price!

Car insurance!! :(?

Right...Passed my test.. got myself a lovely corsa sri 1.4 16v But i cant get it bloody insured with a good quote! Best ive found was quinn-direct with 2700 per year.. thats with pass plus? does anyone know some really good car insurance companies that will insure me for that kinda car? baring in mind im only 17 =[ Thankssss.. Any help greatly appreciated!

How much will my car insurance cost?

I know that this is a vague question, but I was just curious as to what the average amount would be? I'm 16 years old about to be a new driver. I have a used red 2000 Jeep Cherokee if that matters. I'm female and live in Rhode Island.""

Why no free health or low cost insurance ?

Do you suppose one of the reasons why we have no Free insurance in the USA is so society keep people working ?

What's the cheapest and best company for car insurance/home insurance/life?

We are moving out of our current state and need to switch companies. I was just wondering what the cheapest company (also with good service) for all types of insurance would be. Thanks!

How much would a 2010 mustang cost to insure under your parents insurance and if you are the primary driver?

My dad is going to finance it so we will split up the pay I woyld pay for the car monthly which I can afford and my dad pays insurance monthly

""In college, moving out, do i have to change my car insurance?""

ok, i am 19 i go to a college in my hometown and currently live with my parents. i am planning on getting an apartment 2nd semester and found one for 550 per month with utilities which will be divided among 3 guys. my dad says that as long as the car insurance on my car is under his name it cannot move to a different address without being under my name which jacks the price up some $1800 a year. that ends up being almost triple my rent and there is no way i will be able to afford it. apparently saying it still resides at their house is not an option although i do not see why, its less than 3 miles away. facts, suggestions, loopholes anyone??""

How much is car ins. per month for teens?

For full coverage, which includes, uninsured, underinsured, rental car and a low deductible, etc. . I am wondering if my teen is paying too much for car insurance? How much do you pay and what company is it through? I am curious to see if we're paying too much!! Thanks!""

Can someone name some cheap car insurance agencies for teens?

Can someone name some cheap car insurance agencies for teens?

Insurance when you die?

If I kill myself will I get insurance ? I dont care about money I am already well off but just curious about insurance , too early to call my insurer or go look at the doc, to depressed""

Dollar Car Rental Insurance Cost?

Hello I will be renting a Dodge Charger next week. I am thinking of getting the insurance - ( i have full insurance with allstate and also CC covers it too) I hate to get them involved, even if i pay more for the insurance, i just want to leave without having to revisit it, if something where to happen. How much does Insurance cost with Dollar rent a car? The one where they let you go for any kind of damage. Thanks""

Can you get temporary car insurance for say a month?

I just got my car but i cant register it till next week. I got a permit to drive it but I do not have insurance, so I heard you can get temporary car insurance for a month. Im not really sure though.. HELP!""

What would my approximate Auto Insurance rates be with a motorcycle?

I know no one can say exactly what my rate would be, but if I could get a ball park figure, that would be great.   I live in Lakeland, Florida. I'm have State Farm, have never been ticketed for anything, get the steer-clear and good grades discounts. I am currently on my mom's plan. I would either stay on her plan with the motorcycle as my only personal vehicle, or would have my own car and my bike. I will take the MSF course before getting my license.  I will be 20 when I get my bike. I would be getting a 250cc bike to learn on, and probably trading up for a 600cc later.   Where would my rates fall for a 250cc bike and a 600cc bike? I would be listed as a primary driver on my mom's plan.   I know insurance is full of variables, but if anyone could possibly give me any ballpark figure, I'd appreciate it!   Thanks

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