#if you are experiencing abuse please reach out for help

[marvelouslizzie]

A Lonely Night

summary: Your crush on your roommate gets out of hand. His smile ruins you in a way you never expected.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader 

word count: 1.9K

warnings: 18+, masturbation (fingering, vibrator use), fantasies, daddy kink, no mention of y/n 

A/N: I actually planned this as a 3 part story where we see his POV as well. I hope to write the remaining 2 parts. I hope my inspiration lasts.

The gif represents the smile that ruined the reader. Who can blame her?

Thank you so much @notafunkiller for beta-reading and editing on such short notice. You're a lifesaver!

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Read more tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.

You don’t know how you ended up here. You had no intention of doing something like this. You didn’t intend to think about sex at all, especially not while your roommate is home. But when you saw his charming smile and those shiny blue eyes, you felt a jolt of electricity running through your body. It somehow felt like a 0.5-millisecond orgasm. It doesn’t matter how short it was, though, because you can feel the dampness of your panties, so you have no other choice but do something about it.

The TV is on, and it sounds like Bucky is watching the news. That’s not the sexiest thing to hear while touching yourself, yet you are grateful there’s something that covers the noises you make. It’s not like you are a really loud person. Especially not while touching yourself, but this time… You feel there’s something different about this time. The way your body responds to your own touch is not something you’ve experienced before. Neither is the wetness that is dripping out of you. It’s like your body is desperate for this. Desperate for attention and release.

You keep rubbing your pussy, touching all the different spots that make yourself feel good, and your whole body starts to shake, your ears buzzing, and your mind completely blank except for the image of Bucky. His smile and those blue eyes... You want him to be on top of you, touching you the way you like it, fingering you, telling you to be a good girl for him, and making you come over and over again. Then when you think it’s over you want him to push himself inside you, making your abused pussy clench with need. You can imagine how tired you would feel yet how wonderful it would be to finally have him inside you. He would start slowly, making you ask for it. You would either beg him to give you a break because you can’t come one more time or beg him to go harder, faster so you can just lose yourself. The thought of him consumes you while you are coming. It’s such a sweet orgasm, not all-consuming. It feels like you are floating in the air. So good. Exactly what you needed. What you don’t expect is how long it lasts. 

You don’t remember the last time you felt like this. Self-pleasuring is something you do often, but it never felt this good. Normally you would be done by now: already reached the top and breathing heavily while enjoying your after-glow, but this time it’s like your body wants even more. You can’t stop touching yourself. It just doesn’t stop feeling good, no overstimulation. At least not yet.

So if your body wants more, you are going to give it more. You will continue until you feel absolutely satisfied. That’s why you keep touching yourself, testing what feels the best and using your wetness. You haven’t used an ounce of lube since you started and yet your fingers are unbelievably sticky. You can’t help yourself but raise on your elbows and look at your pussy. You move your fingers apart and the wetness creates a bridge between them.

“Oh my god…”

He just gave you the most charming smile on the face of the earth. Nothing more. Why are you so freaking wet?

You can actually think of a couple of reasons. One of them is not having sex for a while. You don’t remember when was the last time. You can only remember it wasn’t impressive so you came home and took your vibrator out and rode it until you collapsed on the bed, finally feeling satisfied enough to sleep. Since then, you either used your fingers or your vibrator to get off, and your body needed more. A lot more.

The other reason is, your growing crush on Bucky. You knew this would be a problem when you decided to be roommates with him, yet it didn’t stop you. It’s delightful to see his handsome face every day, but it’s also torture. Seeing him getting out of the shower, with only a towel around his waist, or half naked while working out… It’s impossible not to get a crush. And on top of that, he’s super kind. Always considering you. He doesn’t sleep much, you know that, but he never makes any noise at night. Never disturbs you. Never eats your food. He never even brought someone over. At least not yet. You are dreading the day that might happen. It will hurt so badly, and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. Maybe that will help you get over your silly crush. But truth be told, you’d rather have it forever than hear him fucking someone else.

You keep rubbing yourself, over and over again until your head is thrown back. There’s this hunger building inside you. God, you feel like begging even though you are the one touching yourself.

“Please, please, please…” You try to be as quiet as possible. It’s just a whisper.

“I really need it, please…”

You do. You really do. You need to come so hard that you can’t breathe. Maybe then it will be enough. Maybe then you will feel satisfied. Your fingers start working even faster. You can feel your second orgasm, but there’s something on the back of your mind that’s holding you back. The thought of Bucky finding you like this. You don’t want that to happen. So you are holding back a little. You can’t risk it, can you? Otherwise, you won’t be able to look at him. You keep rubbing different spots trying to find the best one for this orgasm. Nothing works until you hear a sound from the living room. Probably Bucky moving around in the apartment. Somehow that sets you off. Your orgasm comes crashing in, taking your breath away while you silently keep touching yourself. You keep going until you can’t anymore. You feel buzzed, breathing heavily. That might be the best orgasm you had lately. You take a deep breath in, and then out. The thought of him catching you was terrifying yet you couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop. Can you be actually terrified and excited at the same time? If so, that’s exactly how you felt.

You lay there, in the comfort of your bed, and try to collect your mind. A part of you feels guilty because of what you’ve just done. Not the masturbation part, but pleasuring yourself at the thought of Bucky because he has no idea. He probably never even looked at you like that. Still, you can’t help but feel attraction, and it’s not just a physical thing. His personality is making everything worse. If he was just an asshole, everything would be easier, but he had to be the most amazing guy you’ve ever met. So, it’s his fault if you are masturbating to the thought of him, right? He’s just too perfect.

You breathe in and out, trying to deal with the guilt and your racing thoughts. Normally, this would be more than enough. Two back-to-back orgasms and the second one was so fucking intense yet you can still feel the need. It’s right there. Your core is silently begging while your wetness keeps dripping out of you. When you close your eyes and imagine Bucky pushing himself inside you, your muscles contract and your whole body begs for more.

Sighing, you open your bedside drawer. Here it is, your beloved vibrator. You close the drawer and look at it for a couple of seconds, trying to decide if you should really do this. He’s still in the living room, you can still hear the TV. It’s possible you might get caught, yet the hunger inside you takes over any rational thought. 

After a couple of seconds, you finally give in. Slowly, you push the vibrator inside you and your pussy clenches around it. Even without moving or turning it on, it feels amazing. The feeling of being full… You missed it so much. Then you start to move it in and out, slowly. You close your eyes and imagine it’s a real cock inside you, but it’s hard to get lost in that thought. The texture of the vibrator is far from realistic and the size isn’t that impressive. When that doesn’t work out, you turn it on and let yourself feel it. It’s better. Much better but still not enough. 

“God…” You complain silently while changing your position. You flip around and go on all fours, pushing your ass out as much as you can, the way you would do during sex. That finally hits the spot. You grab your pillow with haste and push your face into it, trying to cover any noise you might make.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” Your muffled moans can’t reach Bucky. He’s watching the TV after all.

“Yess, right there.” The words leave your lips before you are able to process them. Where are these words coming from? Who are you talking to? Is it a fantasy? You don’t know, but it feels good to let it out.

“Oh please, fuck me.” You try to push all the rational thoughts aside. It’s not the time for that.

“Fuck me, daddy, please.” You close your eyes and imagine Bucky again. Him taking his sweet time, edging you until you beg for release. You would give anything, absolutely anything to do this with him.

“Harder, please, daddy, I need it harder,” you mumble and then turn and press the vibration button again. It starts to pulse faster inside you and you feel like there is no air in your lungs anymore. You choke for a second, raising your head up from the pillow, and take a deep breath while your orgasm rips you apart. It’s nothing like you’ve experienced before. A part of your brain thinks you’re unlocking another level of orgasm while the other part is trying to enjoy this feeling while it lasts.

“Yes, yes, yes. Right there.” You let your head fall back on the pillow as you keep imagining Bucky. You have no idea how long your orgasm actually lasts. It’s definitely the longest one you’ve ever had. When your pussy starts to feel too sensitive you take out the vibrator and turn it off. 

Finally, you are feeling satisfied. You place the vibrator on top of your nightstand while you get on your back again. After taking a couple of deep breaths, you notice the lack of TV noise.

Shit.

Why did he turn the TV off? And more important, when? You look at the clock on the wall in front of you and the news program is not over yet. Did he hear you? 

God, please... Don’t let that happen.

You quickly stand up, putting your clothes back on quickly, and then you open the door as carefully as possible. The living room is empty. All you can hear is the shower running.

Thank god!

Bucky is taking a shower. So even with no TV on, he couldn’t have possibly heard you. The sound of the water would cover your moans, right? You hope so at least.

You go back to your room, clueless about the fact that Bucky heard everything, how he paid attention to every single detail, trying to memorize how you sound while coming. How you moan, how you rub yourself, and how needy you are.

Feeling like a creep, he jumped in the shower. Clearly, you were imagining someone else, and he had no right to listen to something as private as this. Yet he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t stop imaging how it would be the one that you call daddy. And he definitely couldn't stop his left hand from wrapping around his cock.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky x reader #bucky x you #A Lonely Night #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x f!reader #avengers smut #my stories

[etheries1015]

As requested by @mellowwillowy who asked me to do some dark Yandere content. I'm gonna try my best, but be prepared to probably be incredibly disappointed since I've never written Yandere stuff and it's not my forte. Really went out of my comfort zone for this one LMAO.

Featuring: Yandere!Jade, Yandere! General Lilia, Yandere! crowley

TW: DARK CONTENT. Non-consensual, Stalking and obsessive behavior, Sexual assault, hair pulling, mentions of cannibalism, reader locked up, toxic relationships, toxic behavior, degradation, manipulation, hair pulling, abuse, forced "pregnancy" Although only mentioned as being pregnant not describing gender or sex.

anybody experiencing such things in real life, please reach out for help <3

WARNING: I don't typically write stuff like this on my blog, so I will say this now: Any hateful comments WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED. If you decide to read from here on out, that is ON YOU. I will NOT tolerate any bullying, harassment, or negativity. These are EXTREMELY sensitive and triggering topics and you have been thoroughly warned.

Yandere! General Lilia

♡ Yandere! General Lilia who found you at your most vulnerable. You were on the ground after being left behind by your comrades, frail and barely moving. He looked down at you with pity in his eyes, using the tip of his foot to lift your head to look up at him. While you sneered at him with distaste, a dark idea flooded his mind. Lilia smirked down at your body before stepping on the top of your head, pushing it into the mud.

♡ "Poor, pathetic human...Look how they left you behind..." He removed his foot and bent down to your level, using his hand to grab you by the hair and lift your bloodied face. "Ohh..if we clean up this blood, I'm sure you're not a horrible sight to look at. How about I take you in? As my little human 'pet'?"

♡ You didn't have a choice. Lilia was eager to knock you out and drag you to a misshapen house that was obviously thrown together on a whim, throwing you inside. He cleaned you up while you were passed out, noting all your properties. You were unaware of this, though. He convinced you that you had simply passed out and he had kindly lay you to rest upon the bed. What a liar.

♡ the first week while you were too weak to move, Lilia would keep you in a warm bed and spoon-feed you food. Although he often seemed cold, you would describe him as warm at the time. It was shocking how kind this fae could be, too kind, really.

♡ He practically nursed you back to health and you completely forgot about the fact he had dragged you there in the first place. A fae helping a human seemed out of bounds, but he was just so...different. So you thought.

♡ Although, he thought you were escaping once when you stepped outside of the home for the first time simply for some fresh air. He quickly let down the facade he had held and gave you a reminder of why you shouldn't trust him.

♡ He'd punish you by pulling you by the hair and dragging you back into the house kicking and screaming, placing you in front the mirror nearby. He would force you to look up while he degraded you.

♡ "See this?" He grabbed you by the cheeks roughly, pressing hard, "Who would want a pathetic and ugly human such as yourself? what do you think will happen when you go out? You will be left behind just like they did before." He let go, a smile replacing his anger, "But not me...I told you if you stayed here nothing bad would happen, but you were trying to leave me, weren't you?"

♡ No matter how much you cried and told him that wasn't your intention, Lilia tsked and refused to believe you.

♡ As a continued punishment for your defiance and retorts, General Lilia would roughly tear your clothes off and force you to look in the mirror as he violated you. Your hands were bound with magic and your mouth gagged, Lilia pulling your legs apart roughly and unzipping his pants.

♡ "How does it feel to be filled to the brim by a fae? It must feel better than any human could ever make you feel. If you stay, You get to feel like this all the time...any human would be elated, wouldn't you agree?"

♡ "We would make such beautiful mixed children, wouldn't we?" He groaned as he came into you for the 6th time that night of your punishment pressing his hand against your stomach, "right here. Swollen with bastard children..."

♡ After your attempted "escape", you were chained up and typically naked. He would feed you, cleanse you, and bring you random gifts and food...Truly keeping his word on treating you as if you were his pet. It was debilitating.

♡ If you were good, he would let you sleep in that warm bed that you first got to sleep in upon arriving. He'd even sleep with you...not without his hands wandering around your body and having his way with you a time or two.

♡ He makes a point to frequently shower you with gifts and affection, even bringing you clothing and allowing you to walk around the house.

♡ On other days he reminds you of how useless you are as a human, reminding you how he found you and kindly took you in when you were abandoned

♡ Tells you how much he loves you and going back would never do you any good... you could never leave his side.

not like he'd let you any time soon, anyway.

Yandere! Jade

♡ He starts out by watching you from afar, admiring you. You always felt his stare at times, but you could never quite see him or put your finger on it.

♡ You will find random things inside your locker. They started out innocent enough, cards professing love for you, flowers, random things he would find in the mountains. You thought it was rather cute, even if you couldn't tell who was leaving it behind for you to find.

♡ Then soon it progressed to photos he took of you with notes on the back. The first time you pulled out a photo of yourself anticipating a letter, your smile quickly dropped. Jade, however, was smiling in the corner watching you unravel his plan.

♡ One was a picture of you changing through a window of Ramshackle, behind the letter is said "Every part of you is my favorite, but I'm particularly fond of your bare legs."

♡ This becomes incredibly worrying to you. You still weren't sure who this mystery person was, and of course you went to someone you were close to for advice. That person was Jade, as he predicted enough.

♡ He's your white knight. He acts all worried and panicked on your behalf, stating he would "take care of it." After about a week when the letters and pictures stopped, you thanked him with a hug.

♡ that single hug sent shivers down Jade's spine. Just being in close contact with you in terms of an embrace wasn't enough...he found himself quickly rushing to the bathroom to release himself, pulling out his phone using the same filthy pictures he took of you to pump his cock dry.

♡ His behavior only worsened from there. That single hug gave him this itchy feeling that wouldn't leave him about being close to you- soon noticing other items of yours going missing. Your underwear, specifically.

♡ You thought it was only a little bit weird when he gifted you a set of new underwear, but you talked it up to just being super close with Jade and he was trying to be helpful with your missing hosiery and was sympathetic to your issue.

♡ Upon visiting his dorm room, you took notice of a specific notebook. He had walked out per Azuls request for assistance, and you took this opportunity to snoop around. Inside this notebook, you found a bunch of pictures of you- ranging from the ones you saw in your locker, to other more disturbing photos such as your sleeping form in revealing night clothing and one in which you were preparing for a bath.

♡ The dread truly set in once you read all sorts of insane things Jade had put, but one that stood out to you the most was an entry in which he detailed how if he couldn't have you, he would have to chop you up and put you in his favorite dishes to fully make you one with him.

♡ "I've never felt more connected with someone before. I know we must truly be fated for one another, and I can't bear this burning in my heart to have them nearby. Perhaps in order to fully reach a level of togetherness, the only way to become truly one with one another is if I were to cut them up and consume-"

♡ You wanted to throw up. You had to stop reading, but before you even had the chance to react, the unexpected occurred.

♡ "I see you've found my little secret," A voice from behind you startled you, dropping the notebook and stared up at the tall male with a deadly pale face and dreaded wide eyes. His expression was difficult to read with an uneasy smile spreading cheek to cheek

♡ "What happens from this moment on," He said, grabbing you by the chin and leaning into your face, "Is entirely up to you."

Yandere! Crowley

♡ You had always been seen as Crowleys favorite. It wasn't like he made it particularly difficult to tell, the way the students would spot his crows anywhere you were.

♡ He was constantly monitoring your every move. If you were with someone else, he'd always inquire to you about your conversations and why you were so engaged in talking with someone other than himself.

♡ "Don't you think you're getting too close to my students?" He pouted, "I think this was a bad idea. How about I allow you to stay with me? Oh, how kind I am to invite you open arms into my home!"

♡ It really wouldn't be much different than now. You were always aware that he watched your every move- the crows in your window while you were stripping for bed were an obvious sign that you were never alone or away from his prying eyes.

♡ Crowley is incredibly coy and risky. He doesn't care what anybody else says or thinks when it comes to you, he wanted to make it painfully obvious specifically to the staff that you were his prey and his alone.

♡ This includes having his way with you anytime, anywhere. If you were just bringing papers to him, he'd have you on his desk with your legs spread at a moment's notice without as much as locking the door.

♡ This wasn't uncommon. He was always testing your patience, a hand crawling up your skirt in the middle of a meeting or taking you in a classroom after hours. But he's never done anything this extreme before...

♡ While you're completely bare and naked on his desk for anyone to walk in and see you in all of your glory, Crowley only unzipped his pants to free his cock from his confines. He's quick to push himself inside of you without prepping you first, leaving you to yelp out in pain.

♡ "Hush, now...we wouldn't want anyone else coming in and seeing you in such a state, would we? If you aren't quiet and another teacher comes in..." He tsked, smirking and swallowing your whimpers with his mouth.

♡ It was as if he was purposefully trying to make you fail, as if he had some sort of plan. Pressing his cock into the deepest parts of you practically slamming his hips against yours. It hurt more than felt pleasurable, you felt tears prick your eyes and a loud yelp of pain escape your lips.

♡ It wasn't a surprise when Crewel walked in to see what was going on. Upon this sight, Crowley tsked once more and looked at you with distaste, not even phased at Crewel's appearance. As if he was practically expecting it.

♡ "Look what you've done...I suppose it's time for your punishment now, isn't it?"

♡ You were soon gagged and hands tied in front of you, Crewel now having his way with you as if it were the most natural thing to occur while Crowley watched. Tears were pouring down your eyes, looking over to Crowley unable to tell what he was thinking behind that mask of his.

♡ When your body stopped resisting and you went limp in giving up, Crowley walked over and instructed Crewel to stop. Crowley untied you and ungagged you, holding you in his arms and petting your hair.

♡ "I recall you saying you found Crewel handsome. Was it everything you ever wished for? Are you satisfied with him? or have you learned your lesson?" although he was gently stroking your hair, the frown on his lips was enough to tell you this punishment was for that purpose. Your answer would determine his mood, that much you knew.

♡ You nodded in response, choking out a feeble cry "I'm sorry, I won't say it again. You're the only one that can pleasure me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." As you babbled your apologies, Crowley smiled and kissed the top of your head, and carrassed your body.

♡ "Good...I'm sorry I had to punish you like that, my little crow. I promise to make it up to you. How about a fancy meal tonight? Hmm? I'll take you to the expensive one you like. Kind of me, isn't it?"

♡ It was twisted and messed up, you knew this. You knew it was just a way to ensnare you, another way to keep you bound to him. You've convinced yourself that he had your best interests in mind, for although he would subject you to ridiculous punishments... He would also treat you like you were the most precious cut of an expensive gem.

A vicious cycle, indeed.

♡ You nodded feebly, Crowley smiling and lifting you in his arms. Gone in a puff of smoke, he took you to bathe in warm water and give you that sly smile and gentle facade that always draws you back in.

~~

#twisted wonderland smut #twst smut #twst x reader smut #Yandere #Yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland yandere #Yandere general Lilia #General Lilia x reader smut #Jade leech x reader smut #yandere fic #dead dove do not eat

[a-sip-of-milo]

Need a reason to live?

Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️

Relationships

Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)

Your friends

Your family

Those who look up to you

To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while

Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)

There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going

To eventually be a mentor to someone

To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone

To fall in love

Your partner

To meet your online friends/mutuals

To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it

To see someone close to you through their final days

To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about

Your FP (personality disorder specific)

Group photos with your (found) family and friends

To help your friends do the same

The friends you've yet to meet

A promise you made to someone special

Acts of kindness

To be there when someone needs you

To see someone smile because of you

To make a stranger's day a little brighter

To hand out compliments to those who need it

To make the world a little bit better before you go

To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated

To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.

To help someone you love to quit an addiction

To do charitable deeds

Affection

Hugs from someone you trust

Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet

Cuddles when it's cold/lonely

To laugh until your stomach hurts

Forehead touches

To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing

Doting on people when they're feeling down

To make the people around you laugh

Interests

That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for

Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations

To share creations that aren't appreciated enough

To save up for something that would make life more bearable

To finally complete a collection

Projects would be left unfinished

To travel

To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time

Projects you've yet to come up with

To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold

To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced

Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours

Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))

To stick it to your abusers

To prove your younger self wrong

To prove the people around you wrong

To prove your younger self right

To prove the people around you right

To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you

As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you

To outlive your enemies

To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)

To show off your success to the people who doubted you

To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win

Milestones

You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go

To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own

To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to

To graduate from school

To see your wounds from self-harm heal

To experience old age

To get married

To recover from your eating disorder

To experience independence

To start/complete your transition

To go on your first date

To get your first job

To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve

To rescue a pet and give them a home

To purchase your first car

To rent/purchase your first house/apartment

To have your first child

To lose your virginity

To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation

To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.

Miscellaneous

To finally get diagnosed with something important

So if nothing else, you can still say you survived

You have a bucket list you'd like to complete

To live because you want to, not because others want you to

Comfort drinks with someone you love

You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday

Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.

To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.

All the different foods you've yet to try

To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it

To watch the seasons change

To celebrate the holidays

For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good

To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now

To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger

If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.

If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can 💞

#reasons to live #npd safe #bpd safe #did #osdd #tw eating disorders #tw self harm #tw death #tw abuse #mental health #positivity #neurodivergent #cluster b safe

[owlcomics101]

“Dog trouble.” task force 141 x fox hybrid!Reader

Warnings: bit of blood, animal violence, mentions of animal abuse/hunting (I do NOT condone), SFW (I am a minor), wholesome fox cuddles, reader is an Arctic fox hybrid

Please read the head cannons first

You are an arctic fox hybrid. You have the fluffy fox ears, tail, feet paws, and fangs. Gaz was taking you on your morning walk when the two of you walked by some military dogs who gave you the stink eye. Usually military dogs would never attack unless instructed by their handler otherwise, but these weren’t the properly trained and experienced military dogs. They were new and haven’t even seen the field of battle yet. Of course when they saw you strutting in front of Gaz with your tail up and proud as Gaz couldn’t help but snicker. The dog’s instincts kicked in. “Bullet no!-“ The handler whistles for one of the dogs to sit still but bullet wouldn’t listen. The dog had its eyes and soon its fangs on you. Bullet immediately sprinted towards you. The handler tried grabbing a hold of the dog, but Bullet was too fast for his handler to grab a hold of his harness. Instinctively Gaz grabbed and picked you up immediately and out of reach of the blood thirsty canine. “Get your god Damm dog here!” Gaz shouted. Bullet jumped on Gaz, trying to bite your tail but instead bit Gaz’s wrist, causing him to drop you. You fall to the ground with a thud as bullet jumps off of Gaz and chases after you.

“Shit-Y/N!” Gaz scrambles to his feet. Your ears perk up at the dog’s footsteps and you snarled. Your tail and ears puffing up to try and make yourself look big and intimidating to the mutt but Bullet could smell your fear. You never thought in a million years you would ever have to worry about a snot-nose dog in your face trying to hunt you down like back in the tundra. Your mind could not forget all the pain and trauma those dogs brought you. You have the bite marks and scratches to remember each hit well. These dogs could never compare to the real predators you would face like wolves. At least wolves were only hunting you for food and survival, these domesticated mutts were only hunting you for their master’s approval. Bullet lunged at you as you quickly slipped away, running down the block with the mutt right at your tail. Soap was just leaving the mess hall when he saw you outside being chased.

“God pumpin' dammit! Y/N!” Soap bolted out from the mess hall and after you and bullet. He wasn’t going to let the mutt lay a single fang on you, not if he had anything to say about it. Gaz was running after you as well. Clutching his bleeding arm from Bullet’s bite to stop the bleeding. Soap looked over to Gaz and quickly stopped him.

“Go get some help Gaz! I'll handle this!" Gaz was hesitant on leaving you. It was his fault, at least he think it’s his fault. He should’ve known the dogs would be out at this time. He should’ve taken you out earlier or maybe skipped the walk all together.

“No Soap-“ Gaz tried to protest but Soap was already gone along with you and Bullet around the corner. You kept running and slipping under passing soldiers left to right as bullet chased you. Soap swearing and shoving everyone out of his way to reach to you. Soap shoved past Ghost who was walking by. Ghost’s brows furrowed as he was shoved.

“Johny what the bloody hell!?” Ghost snapped as he grabbed Soap’s wrist tightly, the day has just begun and Soap was already on his nerves. Soap quickly tried to jerk away from Ghost in a panic.

“Let go! It’s Y/N-Their-“ Soap was cut off by a shriek and it wasn’t Bullet. Soap’s skin went pale when he heard it again. Ghost’s eyes widen as his breath hitched in his throat. You were shrieking and snapping as Bullet bit onto your leg and shook you around like some kind of messed up chew toy. You tried thrashing and biting your way out of the dog’s grasp but bullet wasn’t budging—its jaws clamped shut around your ankle like a bear trap. You could feel the fangs digging into your flesh and tissue, blood seeping and dripping out like a stream as it filled the dog’s mouth. All the blood and struggling around just made the dog tighten its grip and bit into you more. You felt like you were trapped in the snare again, dangling and running around in circles as the noose grew tight. Soap saved you then but where was he now? Just then the dog let out a yelp and let go of you as it was shoved to the ground by Ghost. Soap immediately scooped you up in his arms.

“I’m here, I’m here! I got you.” Soap reassured you as he held you close to his chest. Stroking your back and giving you kissing on the forehead. You couldn’t help but watch Ghost deal with the dog. Ghost grabbed bullet by the harness and held him back for the handler to go get their Damm dog back. Ghost saved you..

“What’s going on out here!?” Price snaps, Gaz following behind him with his wrist bandaged up and stained with blood. Price looked down at the dog and over to you, trembling in soap’s arms as blood trickles down your ankle and foot. To say Price was pissed, would be an understatement. He was livid! He walked over to you and inspected your leg. Soap still stroking your back and head to calm you down.

“Take them to the infirmary and get them looked after. After that I want them safe back in MY office!” Price ordered Soap as he quickly nodded and took you away. You look over Soap’s shoulder to see Price shouting at the handler along with Gaz, but Ghost…Ghost looked over to you. Watching Soap take you away to get cleaned and bandaged up. Maybe Ghost wasn’t so bad after all?

writer’s note: Maybe part 2? We’ll see how this does ^^

#call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #captain john price #gaz x reader #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #soap x reader #simon riley x reader #captain price x reader #cod x reader #cod x y/n

[indifferent-depravity]

I technically have two but imma wait for one of them but could you do a smutty writing with an inexperienced/ virgin or just inexperienced reader x experienced carmy? And he gets off that he's one of the first who gets to touch the reader and that she's all his?

Minors DNI 18+

gif made by me

A/N: don't forget requests for everything are open so if you'd like to see anything from me feel free to drop it in my ask box :)

buy me a coffee!

help me escape abuse

my Etsy shop

~~~

“Carmy, come taste this!” You shout over your shoulder as you finish cooking, moving the pot off the burner. Carmen pads into the kitchen, resting his hands on your hips as he leans over your shoulder to look at the finished food. Warmth spreads through your body under his palms, sending a shiver up your spine. You carefully lift a spoon of the soup up to his mouth and he leans forward to taste it. The movement causes him to press harder against your back and your breath hitches at the feeling of his body against yours.

He lets out a hum, “It’s perfect, honey, well done. Let me just grab some bowls.” Your face burns at the praise and you turn your head to hide your reaction. He kisses your cheek and steps away with a squeeze of your hips, leaving your heart fluttering. He presses close again, setting the bowls down and your breath stutters as his lips brush against your shoulder, “Thank you for dinner.” He murmurs, voice gravelly as he presses another kiss to your neck.

You clear your throat, intent on ignoring the slow throb growing between your thighs from his kisses. You give him a smile, hands shaky as you fill the bowls. You turn to hand him one, “It’s nothing, you deserved a break from cooking.” You slip away from him, pecking his lips on your way to the table, “C’mon handsome, let's eat before it gets cold.”

After dinner, you curl up beside Carmen on the couch, a random cooking show playing quietly in the background as you share languid kisses. He runs a hand over your thigh, pulling your leg over his hip. He deepens the kiss, hand moving to grab a handful of your ass, rocking his hips against you. You feel the hard line of his cock against your core and you pull away with a gasp, pressing your hand against his chest. “W-wait, Carmy, I uh-” 

He furrows his eyebrows, eyes flooded with concern as he cups your jaw, “are you okay? Honey, I-I didn’t mean to do anything you didn’t-”

You shake your head, reaching up to cover his hand with yours, “It-It’s not that, It’s just- I haven’t-” Your cheeks burn and you hide your face in his shoulder.

Carmen’s cock twitches in his pants as the realization dawns on him. He turns his head to press a kiss to your temple, speaking against your skin, “You’re a virgin.” You squeak and nod, hands coming up to grip his shirt.

“I just- I don’t want it to be bad… for you.” You mumble into his shoulder, trying to curl in on yourself. He chokes on a groan and he coaxes you to look at him, chest heaving with each breath as he crushes his lips against yours. You let out a startled moan into his mouth, hands disappearing into his hair as you kiss back eagerly.

He runs his hand over your side, teasing the tip of his pinky under your waistband, “Fuck, I shouldn’t find that as hot as I do.” He groans, trailing hot kisses down your neck, sucking a mark over your pulse point. “Can I touch you, honey?”

You whimper and nod frantically, head tipping back with a sigh as he slowly pushes his hand into your shorts, fingers teasing the crease of your thigh, just shy of where you need him. Your hips lift without meaning to, a small whine escaping you as flames of flicker in your stomach, “Yeah, fuck Carmy, please touch me.”

He groans and lays you down on the couch, settling in the space between your thighs as he slips his fingers under your panties, brushing them against your aching core. You whine, pouting up at Carmen as he teasingly slides his fingers through your wet folds. He quiets you with a kiss, gently pressing a finger against your entrance. You gasp at the intrusion, tightening your legs around his hips as his finger slowly sinks into you.

“Relax, honey, gonna make you feel so good.” You nod with a whimper, twisting your fingers in his shirt as he slowly fucks you with his finger. You slowly relax against Carmen, quiet moans falling from your lips, and he rewards you with a kiss, carefully working another finger into you.

You choke on a gasp, body arching into him as he curls his fingers, causing a shiver to run through your body. He repeats the motion and your muscles seize, a cry leaving your throat as you cum on his fingers. He watches in awe as you fall apart underneath him, his cock throbbing in its confines.

“Fuck you’re beautiful like this.” Carmen’s voice is hushed as he leans over to kiss you, slipping his fingers out of you to grip your hips. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing as close to him as possible. He pulls away with a final peck to your lips and slips his arm around your waist, pulling you off the couch with him with ease. You squeak and wrap your legs around his hips as he makes his way into his bedroom.

“First time I get to do this should be in a bed,” He murmurs, laying you gently on the bed. He pulls your clothes off, placing gentle kisses against your skin as it’s bared to him. He pulls back to look at you and your face burns with embarrassment, causing you to cover your face with your hands. Carmen tuts, pressing your wrists against the bed, “don’t hide from me, honey.” He laughs at your whine, dipping down to peck your lips briefly before pulling back to rid himself of his own clothes.

He covers you with his body, gripping your thigh with a shaky breath as his cock brushes against your skin. “Carmy, baby,” You whine, arching against him, “w-will you- can you-” you blush and touch his wrist, guiding his hand to your cunt.

He hums, gliding his fingers through your slick folds, “You want me to make you cum again, honey?” You nod shyly and he grins, pressing his forehead against yours as he grips the base of his cock, pressing the head teasingly against your entrance, “Will you let me be the first man to be inside you? Please, honey?”

“Yes- Carm, please.” Your voice breaks, hips bucking against his.

“Fu-uck, of course, I will,” He presses his hips forward, hissing through his teeth as his cock slowly sinks into you, punching the air from your lungs. He presses his forehead against your collarbone as he bottoms out inside you, “God- you feel so good, never gonna let anyone else touch this pussy, s’all mine now.” He rolls his hips experimentally, drawing a high-pitched moan from you.

You nod, digging your nails into his shoulders as he thrusts into you, “‘m all yours, Carmy, fuck me-” He groans and pulls your hips against his, meeting his thrusts. He sinks his teeth into your shoulder, moaning into your skin as his hips speed up, the sound of skin against skin filling the room.

Tears burn your eyes as pleasure engulfs your body.  You let out a loud moan as Carmy hits a spot deep inside you. He rolls his hips, continuously hitting that spot with each thrust until you let out a sob, tears squeezing out of your eyes as he pushes you into another orgasm. You claw at his back, trying to pull him closer, angry red lines appearing underneath your nails. All you can do is hold on as he continues to fuck into you, the line between pain and pleasure blurring as each thrust sets your overstimulated nerves on fire.

Carmy’s hips stutter as you clench around him, a loud moan tumbling from his lips, “fuck- honey! ‘m gonna cum-!“ At the last minute he pulls out of you, letting his cum spill onto your stomach as he strokes himself through his orgasm.

You’re both breathing heavily as Carmen flumps down onto the bed next to you. A near hysterical giggle leaves you and he crooks his eyebrow at you, a smile growing on his lips as you giggle harder. “What’s so funny?” He asks and you shoot him a grin.

“Just didn’t think that was how my first time was gonna go.”

Carmen snorts, pulling you into his side, “Had to show you what you were missing.” You roll your eyes good-naturedly, tangling your legs with his as you sink into his embrace.

#carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto smut #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear smut #carmen the bear #carmy the bear #the bear fx #the bear #writing #smut

[lvrdrafts]

Hi, could you please write a happier ending for it is just a joke, cause that was so sad

Joke Taken Too Far

★ Summary: You hear Bucky compare you to Natasha and it makes you question if Bucky ever really loved you, but can Bucky fix what he has done before it is too late

★ Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

★ Warnings: Being compared

★ A/N: FUNNY ENOUGH UR NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS LOL

★ Word Count: 2,000+

★ Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Angst Version

GIF by tfatwsdaily

You had a past filled with heartbreak, as you had encountered one boyfriend after another who cheated on you, citing your looks as the reason for their breakup or abusing you physically. Your self-esteem suffered immensely, leaving you feeling unworthy of love and affection.

However, everything changed when you became an Avenger and met Bucky Barnes, the man who made you feel cherished and appreciated in ways you had never experienced before. You were still going to therapy from the trauma they left you but Bucky helped you get through it and you depression even if he didn't know that.

Your shared experiences as Avengers brought you two closer together. Bucky understood the pain you had endured, and you connected on a deep level. He saw the beauty within you, which went far beyond your physical appearance. Your love grew strong, and you became inseparable.

One day, you happened to overhear Bucky talking to Steve and you wanted to surprise him with an attack full of kisses but you stopped in your tracks as you heard Bucky say, "Steve, you've seen Natasha's body, right? She's incredible. I sometimes wish she was my girlfriend."

“I know I see you staring at her all the time," Steve says chuckling "You really should stop staring before you make it obvious, you are dating someone punk”

Your heart shattered into pieces as you felt the old wounds of insecurity resurface. You couldn't bear to hear the man you loved longing for someone else, especially someone as stunning as Natasha.

"I care about her a lot, Steve, but sometimes I can't help but think about Natasha and how much better it would be with her," Bucky says and you felt as if your heart is being ripped out.

Steve frowned, sensing where this was going. "Bucky, you know it's not fair to compare Y/N to Natasha or anyone else? Everyone's different."

“Y/N’s pretty I know but she just doesn’t compare to Nat,” that was all it took for your heart to completely obliterate into a trillion pieces. You were no longer the only one that thought you were nothing compared to her. You didn't want Bucky to leave you for someone else, you didn't want him to leave you like how they all did.

In the solitude of your room, tears streamed down your face as the weight of Bucky's words crushed your spirit. All the progress you had made in feeling loved and cherished was unraveling before your eyes. The old wounds of heartbreak and insecurity resurfaced with a vengeance, enveloping you in suffocating darkness.

Questions plagued your mind. Were you not enough for Bucky? Would he eventually leave you for Natasha or someone else? Did he only settle for you because he couldn't have her? The demons of self-doubt tormented you, and you felt utterly inadequate, unable to compete with the image of perfection you held in your mind of Natasha.



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You couldn't bear seeing Bucky, it felt as if you were gonna burst into tears every time you saw him. You tried avoiding him as best as you could for a few weeks but being in the same building together 24/7 was harder than you expected.

Each time he tried to reach out or spend time with you, you made excuses, declining his invitations and pushing him away.

"Bucky, I'm really busy right now," you replied one day when he asked if you wanted to grab a coffee. "Maybe some other time."

His face fell, but he tried to hide his disappointment. "Sure, Y/N," he said, his voice tinged with sadness. "Just let me know when you're free."

In an attempt to bridge the growing distance, Bucky decided to reach out to you. "Hey, baby want to hang out later? Maybe we can grab a bite or train together?" Bucky says with a huge grin.

"Sorry, Bucky, I have a lot of work to catch up on. Rain check?" you say making up another excuse to be away from him.

He sighed, knowing he couldn't push you. "Sure, no problem. Just let me know when you're free," he replied, trying to hide his disappointment.

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Over the next few days, he tried again, asking if you wanted to join him for a movie night or go for a walk, but each time, you declined, always with an excuse. He couldn't help but feel like you were purposely keeping your distance, and it hurt more than he wanted to admit.

One evening, Bucky found you in the common area, sitting by yourself and looking lost in thought. He decided that enough was enough; he needed answers.

"Y/N, we need to talk," he said, approaching you cautiously.

You sighed, knowing this conversation was inevitable. "Sure," you replied, trying to keep your emotions in check.

Bucky hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I've noticed that you've been avoiding me," he began cautiously. "Is there something wrong? Did I do something?"

You looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. "It's just... things have been a bit busy lately," you said, your voice lacking conviction.

Bucky frowned, sensing that you were holding something back. "Y/N, please, I can tell something's bothering you. You can talk to me, you know."

He reached out to touch your hand, but you pulled away, and he felt the rejection like a physical blow. "I get that, Y/N, but it feels like you're shutting me out completely," he said, his voice tinged with hurt. "I thought we were in this together, no matter what."

You took a deep breath, knowing that it was time to address the elephant in the room. You didn't want to bear the pain anymore "I overheard you, Bucky," you admitted, your voice wavering. "You were talking to Steve, and you said... you said I wasn't as pretty as Natasha."

Bucky's face paled, and he looked like he had been punched in the gut. "Y/N, I..." he stammered, searching for the right words.

"Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke, I didn't mean for you to take it to heart," he said. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize, unable to confront his own emotions.

"I thought jokes were supposed to be funny" you snapped back at Bucky. "Do you see me laughing?"

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't think you'd take it so seriously, and it was a private conversation," he said, trying to justify himself.

"You were in the fucking common room a public area and maybe you should think before you speak" you shot back, feeling the tension escalating.

As the argument continued, the pain and hurt seemed to escalate, and both you and Bucky were on the verge of tears. But amidst the tension and hurtful words, Bucky suddenly stopped and took a deep breath.

"Y/N, I messed up," he said, his voice filled with regret. "I shouldn't have said those things."

You looked at him, tears streaming down your face. "But why did you say them, Bucky?" you asked, your voice still trembling with emotion.

"At the moment, I don't know, talking shit about you made me feel better about myself," Bucky says. Bucky took a step closer to you, gently reaching out to cup your face in his hands.

"I don't have any excuse for what I said," he said, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I was being selfish I know but you make me a better person and after all the shit I have done I don't deserve to be happy!" Bucky yelled and his eyes widened, he stepped back realizing what he had said. He had never told anyone this before, he tried keeping the demons all for himself.

Your heart sank as you listened to him. You had no idea that Bucky had been struggling with such deep-seated insecurities. You reached out and gently held his hand, trying to convey that you were there for him.

"Bucky, you're not a monster anymore," you said softly. "You're a good person, and you've been through so much. But you don't need to tear someone else down to feel better about yourself. What you said did not make you a monster, it made you an asshole"

"I-I really am sorry, please don't leave me I will change I will do anything," Bucky says as his eyes were filled with tears as he looked up at you, his voice breaking with emotion.

But you were too hurt, too broken, to respond. You turned away from him, unable to bear the sight of him in such pain. The silence in the room was deafening, and you could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on both of you.

"I thought we had something special, Y/N before I fucked up," Bucky said, his voice desperate. "I love you more than anything, and I messed up, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it right. Please, just give me another chance." Bucky's pleas fell on deaf ears, and you couldn't bear to see him on his knees, begging for forgiveness.

Your heart ached at his words, but you couldn't ignore the pain he had caused you. "I need time, Bucky," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I need time to process all of this."

Bucky nodded, his tears flowing freely now. "I'll give you all the time you need," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "But please, don't shut me out completely. I'll be here when you're ready."

With that, Bucky slowly got up from his knees and walked away, leaving you standing there, your heart torn between love and pain.

In the days that followed, Bucky gave you the space you needed, but he also made sure to show you how much he cared. He would leave little notes for you, reminding you of the good times you shared and how much he loved you. He would send you flowers and gifts, trying to show you that he was truly sorry for his actions.

But no matter what he did, you couldn't shake off the pain and betrayal you felt. Every time you saw him, you were reminded of his hurtful words, and it made it hard for you to see the man you had fallen in love with.

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Weeks passed, and despite Bucky's efforts, the pain between you remained palpable. You were still hurting, unable to let go of the hurtful words he had spoken. The team had noticed the tension between you, and everyone was hoping for a resolution.

One day, a mission came up that required you and Bucky to work closely together. It involved infiltrating a highly guarded facility run by a dangerous organization. The stakes were high, and the success of the mission depended on your teamwork.

You both suited up in your tactical gear, preparing for the intense mission ahead. As the two of you boarded the Quinjet, you tried to maintain a professional demeanor, despite the lingering emotions.

Once inside the facility, things got intense quickly. The enemy was not easy to subdue, and you found yourself in a tight spot, surrounded by hostile forces. In a moment of desperation, you got separated from the rest of the team.

Bucky's heart pounded in his chest as he realized the danger you were in. Without a second thought, he put himself in harm's way, using his skills and combat expertise to fight through the enemies and reach you.

You were cornered, and just when it seemed like there was no way out, you heard a familiar sound – the whirring of Bucky's metal arm. In an instant, he swooped in, taking out the threats with swift precision. But in the midst of the fighting, a sniper had tried to get a clean shot on you but Bucky saw it coming and pushed you aside taking the shot instead.

"Bucky," you gasped, you quickly threw a smoke bomb giving you time to escape while holding Bucky over you. As the smoke filled the air, you grabbed Bucky and pulled him towards the exit. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you tried to get both of you to safety.

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Once you were back on the Quinjet, you laid Bucky down gently, fear and concern evident in your eyes."Bucky, why did you do that?" you yelled at him, your voice trembling with emotion. "You could have been killed!"

He winced in pain but managed to give you a weak smile. "I couldn't let anything happen to you," he replied, his voice strained. "I love you, and I would do anything to protect you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you saw the sincerity in his words. Despite the hurt between you, he still cared about you deeply and was willing to put his life on the line for you.

"Bucky, I love you too," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion. "But, you didn't have to do that," you said, your voice wavering.

He looked at you, his eyes full of affection. "I would do it again in a heartbeat," he replied, his voice filled with emotion.

The tension between you seemed to melt away in that moment, replaced by a deep sense of connection and love. You realized that despite the mistakes and pain, Bucky loved you with all his heart, and you couldn't deny your own feelings for him.

"I love you, Y/N," Bucky said, his voice steady and genuine. "I know I messed up, and I'm sorry for hurting you. But you mean everything to me, and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you finally let go of the pain and fear that had been holding you back. You knew deep down that you still loved Bucky, and you couldn't deny the pull between you.

"I love you too, Bucky," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion.

Bucky pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go. "I promise I'll never hurt you like that again," he said, his voice sincere. "You're the most important person in my life, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

As the Quinjet soared through the sky, you both knew that there were still challenges ahead. Healing would take time, and you would have to work through the pain together. But for now, in each other's arms, you found solace and comfort.

#bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x reader angst #bucky compares you to natasha

[soursturniolo]

I’m ADDICTED to angsty fics where Matt or chris get in an argument with the reader and they move their hand and reader flinches and then it’s all soft and comforting and sweet PLS WRITE THIS I NEED MORE OF THESE FICS KAY

I GOT YOU BABY

Trauma Response • Matt Sturniolo

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo/Reader

Summary: An argument triggers the reader, and Matt is there for comfort and support.

TRIGGER WARNING: light discussion of a past, physically abusive relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, know that you are not alone and there’s help out there. Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone], or text START to 88788

“I just wish you would listen to me this one fucking time,” Matt gritted out, voice low and irritated.

“Matt, it’s just a little get together, and my best friend is going,” I explain softly. I hate confrontation, Matt knows this, but he’s being so insistent that I don’t go to this little kickback tonight and I don’t understand why.

“Tell her she shouldn’t go either! I’m being so for real right now, people I know going to that party are bad news, babe, don’t go.” He demands, stepping closer to me, at this point we’re maybe a foot apart from each other, standing in the middle of our bedroom.

“Why are you being so controlling right now? This isn’t like you, Matt, and I don’t like it,” I tell him, crossing my arms.

“IM NOT!” He yells, making me roll my eyes.

“Yes you literally are,” I tell him.

Matt lets out a loud and frustrated groan as he brings his hand up quickly. I immediately flinch away, shrinking in on myself as I step back.

Everything pauses.

“Baby?” Matt asks, voice soft and sounding heartbroken. I peak up at him, and see where his hand had went. He was reaching up to fix his earring, not what I had instinctively thought. His gaze is sad and concerned, eyes wide and teary looking as he gazes at me.

“Matt, I-“ I start, but my voice shakes and I can’t find the words to say right now.

Matt slowly lowers his hand back down from fixing his earring. He also takes a step back from me.

“You think I’d hit you?” He asks me, voice breaking at the end.

“N-no, Matt, it’s not,” I trail off, once again having trouble speaking. I still feel panicked and anxious, but I know it’s past traumas affecting me right now. I know Matt would never lay a hand on me that way, logically. He’s not that kind of man. But trauma and logic don’t always get along, and Matt doesn’t really know about my past trauma.

“Are you afraid of me? Baby, please, I don’t care how angry I ever am, I’d never-“ Matt has to pause as he gets choked up. A tear runs down his cheek and I break, beginning to cry as I step forward, wrapping my arms tightly around him as a burrow my head into his chest.

“I’d never hurt you sweetheart, never, I don’t want you to be afraid of me” he says, sniffling lightly as I feel him press a kiss to my head. I nod against his chest. We stand there in the middle of his room just holding each other for I don’t know how long as we calm down. In this moment, Matt needed the comfort just as much as I did.

Once I feel back in control of my emotions and my anxiety leaving my body, I pull back slightly so Matt and I can look at each while still in each other’s arms.

“Matt, I know you’d never hurt me, I know that and I need you to know it too,” I tell him softly.

His eyes are red and watery still as he nods.

“I promise you I’d never, I love you,” he tells me, making me smile.

“I know, I love you too,” I respond.

He then asks the question I knew would come, but was dreading.

“Why did you flinch away from me, though?” He asks me gently.

“You know about the guy I dated before you? The one I never talk about,” I begin, to which Matt nods.

“I’m not ready to talk about it all, but sometimes, he’d get physical with me when he was mad, that’s why I flinched. That’s why I hate confrontation so much, it can take my straight back to that feeling I had with him” I explain.

Matt’s jaw clenches a bit as I see him swallow dryly. I can tell hearing this is hard for him, which I hate.

“Hey, I got out, that guy is states away with no idea where I am, I’m safe now, I’m with you,” I assure him.

He nods, and pulls me back into his chest, his arm snug around my waist as his other hand comes up to cradle the back of my head, holding me firmly but gently to his chest.

“I’m so sorry you were ever with a guy like that. I swear to you, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never lay a finger on you in any way you don’t want. No matter how upset or angry we are. I love you.” he vows to me.

“I love you too,” I tell him, before leaning up and kissing him on the lips. He kisses me back so softly and gently, like I’m made of fine china.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me, I know even talking about that a little bit has to be hard, baby. I’m so proud of you, you’re so strong,” he whispers to me as he reaches up and tucks a piece of my hair back behind my ear.

“Thank you, Matty,” I smile.

“I’m sorry I got so upset about the party you want to go to with your friend tonight. If you want to go still that’s fine. I can’t control you, and I’m sorry it came off that way. I just know some of the guys who plan to go tonight and they’re all bad news. Really bad news. And I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all” he explains to me.

“No, you’re right then, if they’re bad news I’d rather not be around that, I’ll text her and let her know too, we shouldn’t go,” I agree.

That evening Matt and I stayed in, opting to watch a movie in bed together. As I drifted to sleep, surrounded by warm blankets and Matt’s arms, I knew I’d always be safe and looked out for, and I’d never have to worry about going through anything like my past relationship brought me.

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfiction #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fic #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo

[gamergirl-niffler]

Very very urgent emergency request! Just stumbled upon your blog after that fluffy Howl fic of yours; couldn't resist sticking around for more of your fantastic headcanons.

I recently experienced something truly awful a few days ago.. While enjoying a party with my friends, the atmosphere suddenly shifted, and I began feeling unwell. Since then, there's been a blank space in my memory. The following day, upon waking up in our shared apartment, I discovered that I must have experienced a sex*** abuse. I'm currently terrified, in pain, and enduring ongoing bleeding from my private area. Trust has become a challenge, and I'm overwhelmed, wishing I could just disappear. Unsure of what steps to take, I find myself reaching out for comfort of any, any kind.. May I humbly request comfort from Dabi, Bakugo, Enji, Todoroki, and Kaminari, along with their girlfriends, who have navigated similar challenges?

If this plea is too much, please feel free to disregard it. I deeply appreciate your writings, as they bring immense comfort to many.

Oh, my dear Anon...

I am so sorry to hear that something like this happened to you. I can only imagine what you feel right now.

Please, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, feel free to drop into my messages and let's chat a little!

I hope those headcanon will bring you at least a little bit of comfort.

Mha men & sexually abused s/o

Dabi

- Dabi is burning with anger. Of course he isn't mad at you, he is mad at the person who even dared to violate you this way.

- He should stay with you but he leaves. Of course he couldn't stay. Touya doesn't leave you because of the disgust or hate. No. He is going for a hunt! It doesn't matter if it's one or a few people... All police could find were few bodies burned beyond recognition.

- Touya returns to your shared apartment, sheds his coat and is all yours from now on. He doesn't speak a word about what happened unless you feel the need to talk about it. He won't press but will listen when you need to throw it all out. 

- He knows some doctors that aren't sketchy but at the same time they won't call the police or anything like this. 

- Even if you are scared, Touya pushes you to get checked. He of course stays with you to provide comfort and show you that you are safe with him. Touya knows you are suffering mentally but he doesn't want the physical suffering to continue if there is a way to stop/heal it.

- Back at home Touya stays near you. He wishes he could be glued to you but he understands you need some space.

- When you tell him you need any kind of closeness - he is there immediately, wrapping you in his embrace, holding you as close as possible.

- It takes you a bit of a time to open up to him. You tell him everything; and he listens to it without a word. 

When you start to cry he just squeezes you harder until you calm down. Once this happens, Touya starts to tell you, "I'm sorry, doll. I am sorry I wasn't there to protect you but from now on... I will always be near. No one will ever hurt you again. I love you and I'll make sure to help you however I can."

- And he really does it. Since that unfortunate day, Touya does everything to make you feel safe and to help you heal; both mentally and physically. 

He doesn't push your boundaries but helps you carefully move them as you heal and again open yourself up to him.

Touya never healed himself from his past so seeing you getting better even after such a scary situation makes this villain smile.

Bakugo 

- He is pissed but he won't show it openly. You went through enough stress already and his anger wouldn't help someone in your position so he stops himself from yelling.

- Bakugo doesn't immediately push you to talk. He is more concerned about your health so his first step is to convince you to visit a proper specialist. He doesn't want you to be in pain or to suffer.

When you finally agree to visit the doctor, you are going there with your blond guard dog because Katsuki isn't leaving your side. He will even fight the doctor if it means staying by your side through the visit.

- Back at home, Bakugo is completely different than normal. He is calm and quiet around you. 

- If he decides to give you a kiss, hug or simply get close to you he'll ask for your permission beforehand. Just to be sure you are comfortable with him and his touch.

- If you are on any medications he makes sure you take them, it's for your own good afterall. 

- Katsuki makes sure to provide comfort in every way possible. He cooks or orders your favorite comfort food so the two of you can enjoy some tasty food together. 

- When you feel comfortable enough to open up about what happened, Katsuki just pulls you into a tight hug. "It's okay now. You're safe and I'll make sure to get the bastard that hurt you. I'll make him pay."

- And he really does. Whenever you are asleep or busy with something, Bakugo is on his phone or computer, working his ass off to find the person that did it. He is going to make sure whoever did this will pay the appropriate price for hurting you.

- Whenever you need it, he is ready to hold you close while gently caressing your hair and back. He will talk even about the most silly thing just to see you smile just a little bit. Staying quiet is also something he is ready to do, spending time in silence isn't a problem for him.

Enji

- Enji isn't home very often so it's easy for you to hide it all and just choke yourself with this traumatizing experience.

- When he is actually back, he quickly notices the changes in your behavior. You were like a candle light; warm and happy and now? You resembled an extinguished candle... Cold and sad looking.

- It annoys him because he is really trying for you but suddenly you are all distanced for no reason! Not only in everyday life but also in bed.

- Enji finally confronts you, demanding answers from you! He is your lover, so how dare you ignore him?! Of course he is not gentle about it.

- As you reach your breaking point and admit to what happened at the party you went to, he is shocked that something like this happened to you. 

- He is not a master of comfort so at the beginning he isn't sure what to do but in the end Enji pulls you into a tight hug. "Forgive me for being so harsh on you. I'll do better."

- This is a promise he actually keeps up with! Enji is trying his best to understand your needs and boundaries now.

- He pays more attention to you, building up the trust again to show you that you can still trust him and nothing has changed between the two of you.

- Enji loves to hold you close and just comfort you when you feel bad. He enjoys cuddling your smaller frame, making sure that you feel protected.

- If you think he will leave it just like that and do nothing about it you are really wrong. He is a Number One hero and whoever dares to hurt you, now has to deal with him. Enji uses all of his contacts and influence to find that bastard. 

- He makes sure you are feeling safe and loved again.

Shoto

- Poor guy is deeply confused when one day you go completely quiet. He is worried if you made it home after the party.

-  After receiving no information from you, Shoto goes to your place to check on you. Just to be sure you are okay.

- The state he found you in was heartbreaking. His beautiful girlfriend, his little ray of sunshine suddenly being in distress and bad mental shape.

- He approaches you carefully, asking questions to find out what happened.

- When you reveal what happened the night before, he is shocked. How could someone even do this to another person?

- Of course Shoto doesn't judge you. It was beyond your control and he understands but he slowly talks you into going to the right authorities.

- Shoto goes with you everywhere to make you feel good and safe. He won't allow anyone to get too close to you.

- Back at home he is mostly quiet, letting you decide if you feel like talking or doing anything together.

- When you tell him yes, Shoto is all over you. He wants you close to show you all the love he has for you. 

- His favorite thing to do is to simply hold your hand. It gives him this feeling of intimacy and shows him you still trust him.

- Shoto's second favorite thing is holding you right before falling asleep. You look so cute and despite what happened, he is happy you are with him. "My love. I am so lucky to have you and I promise you that I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

- Like every hero he won't let it slide. Shoto will make sure that whoever did this pays for your pain.

Kaminari

- When he finds out, he is terrified and blames himself for this. He had to go with you but a sudden shift in schedulge made him go to work while you went to the party.

- He really doesn't know what to do BUT he quickly gathers himself. You need him and he is there to serve. 

- Just like others he accompanies you at the doctor and during the talk with authorities.

- Back at home Denki is really careful around you. Always asking if you need anything, making sure you are okay with stuff he does. He never leaves you alone unless you request him to do so.

- He buys your favorite snack and even tries to bake something you like. Even if he isn't the best at it, he'll try his best for you!

- You feel like watching some silly movie or show? He is there with you! 

- Or maybe you feel like just laying down and listening to some music? This dude made a playlist from all your favorite songs!

- Denki is ready to do everything to make you comfortable. Your smile is the most beautiful thing in the world and he is going to work hard for it to appear again upon your pretty lips.

- Even if he blames himself for your harm, he'll never tell you about this but instead he will do EVERYTHING he can to make you feel good again. "We'll make it work, yeah? I won't leave your side and we are going to work through it together." He always assures you with a big bright smile.

- Whoever dared to put hands on you can't sleep peacefully. Kaminari, with the help of his friends, will hunt this bastard down and bring him to justice.

#my hero academia #mha #my hero academia headcanons #mha headcanons #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha headcanons #bakugo x reader #dabi x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo headcanons #mha bakugou #touya todoroki x reader #mha dabi #enji todoroki x reader #endeavor x reader #denki x reader #denki kaminari #denki kaminari x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto

[aanoia]

Dying

Poly!marauders x reader, James Potter x reader, Remus Lupin x reader, Sirius Black x reader

Summary; the marauders had known their girlfriend smoked to dissipate the pain from her abusive family. They just didn't know how bad it could, and would get

Words; 1,400+

Warnings; serious TW, mentions of abuse, toxic asf family, drug abuse, weed, alcohol, whiskey, underage drinking and smoking, substance abuse, self harm, cuts, abuse (ish?), depression (not mentioned but apparent), seriously bad mental health

If you are easily triggered I advise you do not read this as it covers very serious topics.

I will be making a part 2 with a happy ending, because they exist and you deserve one, no matter how deep you've dug yourself into a hole.

Pt. 2

If you are struggling with mental health issues and need help call or text 988 to get in touch with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you are struggling with substance abuse and or mental health and need help call 1-800-662-4357 to get on the phone with an employee of SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. If you are being abused or neglecting by family members or someone else and need help call 800-799-7233 to get on the phone with some from the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

If you need help please reach out. Whether it be to one of the resources above, a trusted adult or friend, or me. I cannot speak for others around you but I can for me and I am here for every single one of you. You can talk to me no matter how small, large, serious, "dumb" ("" bc no problem is actually dumb), no matter what. I will sit and listen to you for hours. Almost everything mentioned in this story are things I have experienced. Abuse. Self harm. Substance abuse (smoking and drinking). And pushing away the people who want to help. I understand and will listen. You matter, and you are loved. It will get better, I promise. You can take my word for it. I love all of you, no matter who you are, and I beg you to reach out of you need someone to help bare the weight the world has given you. I'm here for you, and I'm proud of you for being here today, no matter how hard to was.

You are not alone.

When James, Sirius, and Remus first found out their girlfriend was a borderline stoner, they seemed fine with it for the most part. James was indifferent, believing she wasn’t consuming a dangerous amount. Sirius was impressed and baffled, he spent weeks trying to figure out how she snuck the drug into Hogwarts, which had a strict policy against the use of substances. Every once in a while Sirius even joined Y/n in a smoking session. Remus, however, seemed to be the only one who was slightly worried, he knew all about unhealthy coping mechanisms and how addictive they are, but he chose to trust his girlfriend and left it alone, something he felt very guilty about later on.

Everything changed after the summer before sixth year. The four had kept in frequent touch, mourning over the fact that they couldn’t find a time to get together. Mid August Y/n had stopped responding to letters sent by her boyfriends, which worried them immensely. And when she arrived at platform 9 ¾, looking sickly pale and high out of her mind, they knew something was wrong. 

Stubborn as usual, Y/n proclaimed she was fine. Having lied and said that this was her first time doing any illegal substances, which includes alcohol and other drugs, in weeks, and she was just enjoying it. Each of the boys had a pit in their stomach, their girlfriends usually cheerful aura completely gone, seeming to have faded over the summer.

Sirius was the first to notice the problem with your smoking. He took into account the changes in your stash when he would join you every once in a while, the amount you had from one session into another completely decimating your lie about only smoking once or twice a week. 

Remus was the one who noticed your drinking problem. He had invited you on a study date with just him, James and Sirius being busy with quidditch practice, and you had showed up late. He didn’t mind, knowing you weren’t the most punctual person, but what he did mind was the strong scent of alcohol you had attempted to cover up with a spell. It hadn’t worked.

Now, poor oblivious James was the one to uncover the self harm scars on his beautiful girlfriend's body. It had been a rare time where you had decided to hang out with the boy, as you had been pulling away from the three at an alarming rate. So, James decided to make the most of it, not knowing the next time this would happen. His way of making the most of it was laying down in bed, bodies pressed up against each other and your chest steadily rose and fell. He had fallen into a light sleep before he was woken up as you adjusted your position, throwing your arm out to the side. He looked at you with a tired smile, grateful for this moment as his gaze traveled up your arm. His smile fell as his heart dropped. When you had stretched your arm out the sleeves of your jumper had ridden up your wrist, revealing the angry red cuts protruding from your skin. James felt tears prick his eyes, not knowing what to do.

Today was a particularly rough day for Y/n. She had received a letter from her parents, informing her that they wish she was never their daughter, and that she would find some creative way to die to rid them of their burden of a disgraceful daughter. It was no exaggeration to say she was out of it. Anyone with any common sense could tell as she stumbled through the Great Hall, smelling greatly of whiskey and weed, and anyone with a good nose (Remus, due to his furry problem, and Sirius, due to his furry gift) could sense the metallic smell of blood coating her skin.

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake.” Remus mumbled, standing up from his spot at the table, James and Sirius looking up quizzically. “I’m over this. We need to talk to her. Now.” He said and the boys nodded, standing up with him and walking to the girl. Sirius gently touched her shoulder, leading her out as she made a face of disgust at his closeness, causing his heart to twang. 

She had been so mean lately, and it was slowly shattering the boys’ heart, however, it was affecting Sirius the most. He missed his girl. The one who always cheered him up and provided him bucket loads of support when he was thrown to the curb and disowned.

They carefully led the girl into the boys’ empty dorm, and the three were thankful Peter decided to eat breakfast this morning instead of sleeping in. Y/n sat on the bed, reaching into her cloak and pulling out a shiny silver flask.

Remus scoffed and grabbed the flask from her hands, “Fucking no, Y/n.”

Anger flashed across the girls face, “The fuck is your problem?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

He waved the flask in front of her face angrily, “This shit is! And the weed! And, baby,” His voice softened. “We know you’ve been cutting. Why won’t you let us in?”

She scoffed and stood up, snatching the flask from the boys hand, “Because it’s my fucking mind and you guys have no right to pretend you deserve to know what’s going on in it.” It was Sirius’ turn to scoff and Y/n looked over with raised eyebrows. “What, got a problem, Black?” She asked again.

“Yeah, I’ve got a fucking problem. You’re being a bitch.” He said angrily.

“Excuse you? I’m being a bitch?” She took a step closer. “Says fucking you, Sirius. The only bitch here is you. With your endless manipulation and fucking lies!”

“Okay, you need to calm down.” Remus said before Sirius could speak.

The only sound that could be heard was Y/n’s loud laughter. It lasted a moment before abruptly stopping as she threw the flask down and neared Remus. 

She placed her hands on his chest, smoothing down a wrinkle, “You guys are the ones freaking out when I’m.” She pushed him back, his eyes widened. “Fucking.” Push. “Fine.” His back hit the wall and James, who had been silent the entire time finally stepped in between the two, anger covering his features.

“Back off. We have done nothing but love you! We don’t deserve this shit, Y/n. You don’t have to tell us everything but a simple fucking explanation is due! Even if you won’t give us that you have no right, no right, to lay your hands on us, and I will not put up with this bullshit.” He said and it was silent. The boys held their breaths, hoping James’ speech got through to the Y/n as her and James had a staring contest.

Y/n smirked, “Look at you. The little bitch finally comes out of his shell, and spews utter bullshit.” She said flatly, moving to grab her flask and her bag which she had previously set on the bed. She walked to the door and paused, “We’re over, by the way. I’m leaving your sorry asses.” And she walked out.

The moment the door shut James' body shook with silent sobs and Remus wrapped his arms around the boy, resting his head in between his shoulder blades. Sirius joined the hug, squeezing tightly as a few stray tears of his own left his eyes. 

The three stood there, hugging each other tightly as they cried in each other's arms. They had no choice now but to watch the girl they loved most slowly kill herself, for a reason unknown to them.

Unbeknownst to them, the girl slid down the backside of the door, hand covering her mouth to silence her sobs. She knew it was getting bad and she knew those boys cared about her and wanted to help and she fucking pushed them away, afraid they would turn out to be like her parents. Cruel and abusive. She regretted leaving the moment the door slammed shut, her mind immediately sobering up as she realized what she had done. She just lost the three most important people in her life, people who loved her, if they still could after her cruel words.  In that moment she realized the most terrifying thing. The thing that haunted her nightmares and fueled her addictions. In all her attempts to cut her parents from her life and forget about them. She had become them.

#aanoia #romance #the marauders #marauders map #james & peter & remus & sirius #james potter x reader #sirius black #sirius black x reader #remus loves sirius #sirius x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #poly marauders #poly marauders angst #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders angst #poly!marauders #angst

[lcvesjj]

Hello honey,

I've for this enemies to lovers trope with Connor Rhodes in my head for a long time in my head, so I thought today I'm brave enough to send it to you. Reader is a new doctor at Med. Connor is in a bad for month now, cause his ex cheated on him. So he's not interested in getting to know the new young and beautiful doctor at med. On the contrary: he's letting his anger out on her, being mean, unfriendly and unfair to her. She moves to Chicago to start a new life, away from her abusive ex. Years of being in a bad relationship left her incredible insecure with new people, but she tries her best, being friendly and kind to build a new life, even trying to find new friends. Connor's behavior towards stings at first but soon starting to hurt her more than she wants to admit. Plus the stress and fear that her ex may find her stresses her even more. Imagine she's suffering from severe migraine attacks cause od stress and night terrors. One day getting to her breaking point when Connor once more letting his stress our on her leaving her flinching and let her spiraling her into a full blown panic attack at the break room. In her head she's not at Med but back with her ex.... Out of sheer terror she begs Connor not to hurt her.... Finally he realizes why she's so jumpy and shy. (just need some worried Connor now taking care of her and trying now over the next week's to gains her trust, maybe he helps her now during a migraine attack and so on, until she trusts him enough to him her past). I really love the enemies to lovers trope and the development of Connor being an absolute arrogant asshole to a caring protector and lovely human being.

Title : the new doctor - connor rhodes x fem!reader

Warnings : past abuse, panic attacks, angst, mentions of death of a patient, mentions of nightmares/night terrors, past abusive relationship, badly written enemies to lovers. If there is anything I might’ve missed, please don't hesitate to let me know and I will add it to the warnings.

A/n : This fic is dark and heavy so please be cautious while reading. Please remember that if you have experienced something similar there is always help available and people you can talk to. Stay safe and if anything in the warnings triggers you please don’t read this. I’m really sorry to anyone who has experienced something like this. Help is always available, please don’t be afraid to reach out to someone.

Moving to Chicago was a quick decision you had made in the middle of the night. After your ex boyfriend decided to go to the bar again and get wasted and when you tried to ask him to stop drinking and get a job, he punched you so hard to the point of a split eyebrow and a black eye. 

After patching up the split eyebrow and making sure you didn’t need any stitches, you opened your laptop and started looking for jobs in different cities. As far away from here as possible. You knew it wouldn't be a good idea to stay with him and to stay in this relationship.

So after many years of enduring his abuse you had had enough, you tried to leave so many times, but somehow your now ex-boyfriend managed to gaslight you into staying by promising he would change. But he never did change. Luckily you managed to save up some money just in case you’d need it, since you had a gut feeling that you would need it.

Seeing a job offer in the Gaffney Medical Center in Chicago, you felt like this was your chance to leave, without even thinking twice you sent an email with your application. And in the meantime you decided to pack your things and stay at a hotel for some time. It was for the best.

A few days later you got a response to your application asking for you to come in person for an interview. Seeing that email and your laptop you grinned widely.

This was it! You could start a new life away from your ex and the small town you lived in. This was your chance to finally leave and get away.

Before you knew it, you were in the plane landing at Chicago’s airport. Stepping out of the plane into Chicago’s winter air, you smiled to yourself.

This was it, you could finally start a new life and live how you always wanted to live. 

But luck wasn’t really on your side, it's what you quickly realised after getting the job at Gaffney Medical Center. The patients and nurses were very kind and helpful. The doctors too, except for one doctor, his name was doctor Connor Rhodes.

He was cold and he always seemed to be angry at you for no reason. One of the nurses whose name was Maggie, explained that Connor recently got cheated on by his ex-girlfriend and from then on he has been acting rude and cold to everyone. But especially you- you didn’t know why he would act like that, since you only met him 3 weeks ago.

You tried your hardest to be friendly and nice to him, but that just seemed to anger him even more, he just started to be more and more unfair to you while brushing off all of your attempts of trying to be his friend.

Soon your migraine attacks came back from all the stress of work, the fear of your ex returning and Connor’s behaviour. Every time you had to be next to Connor, your whole body would tense up.

After escaping from your ex boyfriend, dealing with Connor would stress you out to the point of panic attacks and nightmares. Since he would sometimes remind you of your ex when he’d be so cruel and unfair to you. You had no idea what you could’ve done wrong to deserve this type of treatment. 

You tried your hardest to be nice to him, but after a while you just gave up completely. You just didn’t see the point in trying to be nice to someone who would just brush off all of your attempts and just continue to act like that.

One day it all just came crashing down after a patient coded and you tried your hardest to revive him but it was no use. Connor was in the room with you, trying to help. But after one of the nurses told you that it’s no use, you stopped and announced the time of death. 

Taking off your gloves and walking into the breakroom to just calm down and breathe, Connor stormed after you and started yelling. When you tried to walk away, he grabbed your upper forearm and turned you to face him.

You could feel the panic starting to rise in your chest, Connor then started shouting at you while telling you how much of a dumb mistake you made and he was blaming you for what went wrong, even if it wasn’t your fault. 

When he raised his hands above his head in anger and frustration, you instinctively raised your hands above your face and head in an effort to protect yourself, since you thought Connor was going to hurt you. You could feel your body tremble and the tears slowly pour down your cheeks in fear and pure terror.

Seeing your body tremble and the way your hands were shielding your face and head as if you were waiting for an incoming hit, Connor’s face turned pale white. That’s when his heart broke into tiny pieces, it’s when he realised why you were always so tense around him. Someone had hurt and traumatised you to the point of this being your reaction whenever someone raised their voice or made any sudden movements next to your face or head.

“Please don’t hurt me” You managed to choke out through your tears, feeling the panic grow in your chest even more than before. The amount of terror and fear in your voice made Connor’s heart break even more. 

Connor quickly took a small step back while slowly putting his hands down to not spook you even more by keeping them in the air. It was obvious you were having flashbacks and that his actions had sent you into a massive panic attack.

“Hey hey Y/n, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise. You're safe here, it’s okay.” Connor says softly while trying to get you to calm down. But it didn’t do much since you just kept on begging him not to hurt you- in your mind you were still in the small town you lived in with your ex.

After a while you just seemed to finally realise that you aren’t in that small town anymore. You were safe. You were in Chicago, which was far away from the small town you used to live in. Slowly letting your hands down you let out a sob seeing Connor. He slowly walked up to you and gently embraced you, letting you sob onto his chest.

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I’m so so sorry- I should’ve- I should’ve known…I'm so sorry.” Connor just repeated over and over again while holding you tightly.

Soon you managed to calm down, yet you still kept your face buried into Connor’s chest. You tried to take a few deep breaths to calm down. Seeing you in such a state Connor felt heartbroken, he shouldn't have let his emotions and frustrations out on you. You didn’t deserve that.

After talking to Maggie it was agreed that you could go home, since you weren't in the right headspace to be able to work properly. Connor offered to drive you home, but you refused while mumbling the excuse that you needed some fresh air. 

Grabbing your things from your locker quickly you walked out of the Medical Center. You didn’t notice it but Connor kept on glancing at you while you walked away. He looked heartbroken, sad and guilty.

When Connor’s shift ended all he could think about was you. He felt guilty for acting in a way that made you relive those traumatic memories. Even if he didn’t know what might’ve happened to you in the past, he knew one thing- you did not deserve what happened to you.

He just couldn’t take it anymore, Connor knew he had to apologise to you and somehow make it up to you for acting like such a jerk to you. A few days later when you came into work Connor was waiting for you by the front desk. He looked sad and apologetic. He did apologise and he tried his hardest to start making it up to you for his past behaviour.

Over the next few weeks Connor was different. He was nicer and more caring, it’s as if someone had flipped a switch inside of him. Soon you trusted him enough to tell him about your past and why you moved to Chicago. And after telling him all of that, he hugged you tightly to comfort you. 

He soon started coming over to your apartment from time to time to just check in on you and see how you were doing. When one day when you didn’t show up to work Connor decided to check up on you, since you weren’t the type of person who would just not come into work without saying anything before. 

Driving to your apartment he felt nervous and anxious, he tried calling and texting but when you didn’t reply he wanted to come and check up on you. Just to make sure that everything was okay.

After you didn’t answer the door or any of his calls or texts. Connor got very worried for you. What if something bad happened and you needed help? Without thinking twice he looked under your doormat for the extra key that you had told him about after he came over for the first time.

Quietly unlocking the door he walked inside and started calling out your name. Connor walked around your small apartment searching for you. After a while he decided to check your bedroom. Slowly walking towards the bedroom he knocked on the door. 

Hearing him knock on the door to your bedroom, you sat up slightly confused. But as soon as you sat up you grabbed your head from the pain. You were having one of those bad migraines that would happen to you from time to time due to the stress.

“Connor? Is it you?” You mumbled half asleep while trying to not cry from the pain. “Yes it's me Y/n, can I come in? I just wanted to check up on you.” Connor replied while standing in front of the door leading to your bedroom.

You just managed to mumble a soft “yes” before laying back down still holding your head in your hands, trying to ease the migraine a little. Connor slowly walked inside and seeing how dark your room is and how the blind were shut he knew what this meant. You were having a migraine- after getting to know you better Connor found out that you sometimes get bad migraine attacks.

“Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?” Connor said quietly while walking up to your bed and crouching down by your side.

“Like crap and my head hurts.” You whispered back while finally looking over at him. You were pale and had dark bags under your eyes and you looked ill.

“Migraine?” Connor just asked while reaching over slowly to push the hair out of your forehead. He was trying his best to be gentle and calm around you after hearing what happened with you ex, Connor didn’t want to send you into another panic attack or worse because of his actions. You just nodded in response to his question, since you barely had the energy to speak.

“Do you want me to get you some medicine for the pain?” He asked while looking over at you with a concerned expression on his face. 

“Yes please.” You said softly while glancing up at him.

“Okay I'll be back in a minute. I'll also make you some tea.” Connor said, smiling softly and he kissed your forehead before getting up and quietly heading towards the bathroom where you kept your medicine.

After you took the medicine, your migraine seemed to ease a little. Connor stayed by your side the whole time refusing to leave you in such a vulnerable state. Smiling at him softly you said “You know that you don't have to do this right?”

He just responded saying “I know. But I want to. It's the least I can do.” With a small smile while brushing the hair out of your forehead again.

“Thank you.” You whispered while smiling at him tiredly. Connor just nodded in response. “Try and get some sleep okay? I'll stay here if you want me too.” He replied with a smile. “I’m not about to leave you here.” 

Nodding you closed your eyes and tried to sleep. “Thank you Connor.” Was the last thing you could say before you fell into a deep sleep. And for the first time in ages you didn't have a nightmare and you slept well knowing that Connor was by your side.

#connor rhodes #connor rhodes x reader #connor rhodes imagine #one chicago #one chicago imagine #one chicago x reader #chicago med #chicago med x reader #chicago med imagine

[suguruplsr]

NMW

This is got dark and I accidentally, very lowkey made readers back story similar to someone who kinda experiences it later in the manga. Not saying who just for spoilers sake so um yea <3

Dark content!

,, gn!reader x suguru during the time of his defect, angst w/ no comfort , their relationship was rocky , reader is/becomes a drug addict + overdosing + underage usage , signs of heavy depression + dissociation + self-hatred (inner turmoil from trauma) + suicidal , implied reader did try to commit by jumping/falling but did not die , mentions of child abuse and trauma + seeing death at a young age , reader in the end, ultimately is messed up.

Please let me know if I missed anything !

Divider @/benkeibear

[NEW MAGIC WAND] Tyler, The Creator - [0:01 - 3:14]

Death.

Something you could say you long for.

But something that excites you to no end.

A way of ending a life forced upon you, seeing horrors since the mere age of nine.

It began the day your one and only older sister killed herself in front of you with the same cursed tool you carry. Unable to continue barring the harsh family treatment and training— filled with such love that you hate. All to become a fit and strong sorcerer.

Can’t stain the oh so great family name with weak sorcerers right?

That day, you almost burned down and destroyed your clan, yet instead, ran away like the coward you were. Found by yaga, your now teacher, who's been able to teach and take care of you in a safe environment.

Life’s great, you thought. You’re a grade 1 sorcerer, you had the best friends, a great boyfriend, and the best parental figure you know.

Everything was perfect, after all you went through.

So why… Why did that feeling of impending doom swirl in your heart during the hot summer air last year? When did everything become a hassle? When did you find yourself reaching out to fall into that darkness of the night, the stale-like taste of pills you threw into your mouth impatiently was annoying. The headache in your head wasn’t going away. Maybe you’ll tell Shoko to let you grab five next time.

Just for good measure..

And maybe to keep experiencing the silent and pure bliss you feel after a few minutes of standing on the roof, high off your mind. But you always gain some sense, deciding to not be reckless and jump off.

Perhaps that’s just an excuse so you won’t hurt Suguru again.

But would he care? Would he really?

All you know is that you do. You care tremendously. Hugging him every time he comes back at night, tired and weak after back-to-back missions. At first, he’d say something along the lines of, “your hugs make me feel better no matter what”, followed by your giggles and his kisses.

But now, it’s as if it’s another obstacle for him, forcing a small smile, even though he won’t look at you, just wrapping his arms around your shoulder for a split second and heading towards his dresser to grab some clean clothes before he heads to the showers.

Usually, he’ll stay in the morning, already having seen the alert on his phone about his ride to the mission sight, and only wanting to cuddle with you until times up. Now, he’s just gone. The side of your bed as empty and cold as your love life.

Sometimes, when you get ready, you find yourself looking in the mirror and hating the image of someone who can’t even take care of her lover.

It reminds you of the times you’d hear your sister’s ramblings at night. Cursing herself for being mediocre and stupid. Sayings that your mother installed into her through beatings and yells while your father forced her to fight again

But you can’t help it, your whole life, no matter how perfect it was, you could never do anything right. You were always second, second, second, second.

Second.

The words you remind yourself when you see Suguru flash that smile that he hasn’t worn in what feels like years. But it’s not towards you, only to Satoru. Always, for him. Maybe hanging out with his best friend gives him some light to that world of his you know absolutely nothing about. But, it’s no one else, only Satoru, only him.

His best friend.

You should be happy, happy that you can see the one you love shine even just a bit. But god.

You feel dead.

Like a withering rose that has chased for that sunlight, only to lose in the end.

Second.

That’s all you’ll ever be.

So why try? It’s not like your efforts have done anything even remotely useful.

Mediocre.

That’s what you are. So just say fuck it.

[spd interlude] Travis Scott - [0:01 - 3:11]

Your tired form walt’s into the infirmary, hair unkempt and eyes red from loss of sleep. You don’t even think you can use your voice anymore, throat aching after screaming into that damned mirror.

But you can’t see yourself anymore.

You can’t see that fucking mistake of a child your parents made.

Not with how the glass shattered all at once, shards impairing you and leaving cuts all over you.

But maybe you needed that bit of pain, a wake up call that screaming into a mirror does nothing.

You search through the cabinets before finding the yellow bottle that holds your happiness nowadays.

“You and I both know you don’t need that many.” Shoko’s stern tone rings through the white room, hand held out as you silently drop the seven? Maybe ten, tablets into her hand. And she scoffs, disappointed, probably.

You can’t care, not right now. You need it.

Something to forget or you swear you’ll—

At least she turned away, a big mistake on her part.

“And what happened to you? You look like shit. No offense. How about—“

You disappeared like a ghost, taking two other bottles of happiness with you.

It makes Shoko sigh, running a hand through her hair as she thinks about the explanation she’ll have to give to their teacher.

Five. Another five. Three this time? You just keep throwing them in your mouth like you’re catching them.

You can’t see. Body swaying and leaning on the railing. You’re grateful that you know how to use “reverse curse technique”, or else you’d be dead by now.

Maybe you’d like that.

You’d like to dissipate from this world quietly so no one can notice how much of a failure you are.

It’s stupid, all for a boy. How could you let yourself fall this low.

But maybe you were meant for this, never having won anything in life. Winning his heart was probably a joke the world gave you.

But it’s his fault too, right? In a way? A question you ponder over millions of times. You just can’t bring yourself to admit that.

You tilt your head back. That fresh air feels so nice, like it’s pushing you to glide with the wind.

And you allow it, the breeze is so nice, like a pocket around you as you fall, protecting you so you can finally forget.

‘Splat!’

You don’t find yourself living anymore, walking around like a lifeless machine, sleep, work, smoke, drink, pop, sleep. And then repeat. But sometimes you forget to eat, you just need the salty taste of those tablets in your mouth before you lose your mind.

You don’t see Suguru anymore.

You think you two broke up one day.

You weren’t listening, you weren’t there. You couldn’t.

Because of that name.

That man.

It makes you find yourself on that roof again.

You don’t like it, you don’t like those reminders. So you stay in the comfort of your mind, admiring the life around you as you simply exist.

Your eyes seem cold, dead and staring into a distance Suguru can’t seem to gauge. As if you don’t care about the written statement of his actions that were presented to you earlier that day.

“I love you.” You don’t respond with one of your own, simply humming in acknowledgment, and lighting the cigarette he gave you. His hand reaches out to you, there’s warmth, but it seems as if there’s none in how you look at him.

You’re not here, he thinks.

“Please, let me make up for how I treated you before.” And you purse your lips. It’s pitiful really, him saying such a tiny sentence that has no meaning to you. But the desperation in his eyes makes your heart beat in satisfaction.

You’re finally wanted. But you can’t give in too much. Who knows, he might pull away.

And you’ll be falling again.

“Do whatever. I don’t care.”

[goosebumps] Travis Scott (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - [0:01 - 4:03]

#jjk x reader #jujustu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujustu kaisen #jjk x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x y/n #geto angst #jjk angst #jjk x gn!reader #getosuguru #geto suguru x reader #suguru geto #geto suguru smut #getou suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x you #jjk geto #suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen suguru #jujutsu geto #geto x y/n

[probablyhuntersmom]

An Uncommonly Discussed Trauma Symptom

Disclaimer: This is in no way a substitute for therapy: it’s only psychoeducation. Please consult a therapist and/or hotline and get the help you need if you are experiencing mental health difficulties, especially if experiencing distress or issues that feel unmanageable.

Warnings: Mentions and discussion of suicidal ideation, death, abuse and violence.

Special thanks to @ashanimus and @childlikegoblinqueen

Ever heard of "the sense of a foreshortened future"?

If you have suffered trauma over a sustained and long enough period of time, you may find that you can't imagine yourself living long. You can't see yourself reaching milestones, because it hardly makes sense to your mind that you can go on for that long...given how much you have felt like you've escaped danger, given just how many close calls you have had in life.

Yet the sense of a foreshortened future is a separate thing from suicidality.

If you have both of those together though, it really isn't fun because they may feed one another in a cycle, in the way that symptoms under the same mental health condition have the potential to do the same.

It isn't a desire for pain to end (which is what suicidality is), more so a generated expectation that takes root, and a framework which a survivor tries to fit their experiences into, with the goal to get things to make as much sense as can be. Because it's often the easier thing to devise a simple formula, to feel certainty and to manage one's expectations: rather than embrace the grey areas of uncertainty about how life will turn out.

It's almost as if this feeling of a foreshortened future is in a tug-of-war match between what appears to be solid reasoning, and a person's natural survival instinct along with the hunger for a meaningful life.

This symptom isn't on the *official* criteria for a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist to make any diagnoses, it is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) or International Classification of Diseases, 10th Revision (ICD-10). But informally it is sometimes categorized as an avoidance symptom under both PTSD and Complex PTSD, and also under longer-term depression.

(however, I think it can extend to other conditions. The key criteria is it emerges from repeatedly experiencing horrible things until it makes sense in one's head to expect themselves not to last much longer)

If you hop onto Google Scholar to find proper research about it, the findings are very scarce because it's hard to define it, empirically measure it and quantify it in the first place.

Again, it's not the same as suicidal ideation because a foreshortened-future view is an expectation, while the latter is about a desire.

I wasn't taught about this symptom in any training and supervision before becoming a licensed therapist, nor did any of my own therapists bring it up as psychoeducation when I saw them. It was only through online articles on informal websites that I stumbled upon the phrase and it all clicked for my long-term experiences.

But I feel it is good knowledge for anyone providing psychotherapy to bear in mind.

In The Owl House, the grimwalker lore weaved into Hunter's arc, can shockingly be linked with this symptom, symbolically and thematically.

But the show's age rating means it would likely be too dark for the writing team to explicitly incorporate it into Hunter's dialogue.

Hunter was a lamb marked for the slaughter early on.

He has questioned his survival and ability to thrive.

The following article on Psychology Today describes Belos's long-term influence on Hunter pretty well and provides info that strengthens the points I'm making in this whole post:

Link

It's bad enough that before Hunter and Luz found Belos's mindscape, he struggled with the fear of failure to the extent that there was already the raging inner battle between his primal survival instinct and the already knackered part of him that sought eternal rest from his suffering (showing up as suicidal thoughts):

Fast forward a number of episodes...and we see the looming horrors in Hollow Mind that culminated in Hunter's discovery of what his predecessors went through:

followed by permanent rejection by his parental figure:

The power held by a foreshortened-future view, and its potential to isolate you - to make you feel like you're invisible, or a ghost - can be strong.

What Hunter said to Gus in the following screencaps sums up what it feels like pretty well:

In the context of having an abuser, it emerges from the negative beliefs they impose on you. It gets tricky if those beliefs are internalized, and which may remain internalized even after you get to safety and away from said abuser. Internalized until they become what you expect of your life.

It's about those thoughts which you know in your rational mind are lies, but you feel their apparent truth. They go more silent when you practice self-care but they return to try and reel you in again, and to a degree, they succeed in getting you to believe them all over again, before you renounce them once more.

Being in the C-PTSD Club along with Hunter, I personally experience the feeling of a foreshortened future as a voice deep down which almost always says that life feels too long and it therefore feels absolutely weird, like it doesn't make sense. Life feels too long, contrary to that commonly heard cheesy quote, "Life is too short to blah blah blah".

When I reached milestone birthdays like my 21st, it was confusing and made me irritable, feeling an itch deep down that I could not scratch.

The voice asks me why the heck I'm still around when it apparently doesn't make sense. It's a pervading feeling which can be pretty annoying, though I have it far enough in the background that it's like noise instead of being a source of distress.

It's not the easiest thing to explain this, but Hunter may have confusing thoughts creeping into his head like "Caleb didn't last long, why would I?" whereby such thoughts have a strange feel to them. They aren't exactly hard rules, nor are they distant enough that they can be easily brushed aside. Brain hurty, emotions spooky.

After the horror of this night:

I can definitely see Hunter wrestling with this symptom from time to time. No doubt. It was a major loss of autonomy and control that would significantly aggravate what was already brewing deep down.

I'm doubtful that the crew even established this on purpose (unless they actually consulted trauma experts and/or experienced mental health practitioners), but...this one symptom ties in with grimwalker lore so perfectly...it's hella fascinating that all Hunter's predecessors' lives (including Caleb's) were cut short. Prematurely.

They came with an expiry date set by their abuser: something very characteristic of this foreshortened future feeling, though not unique to survivors of abusive home environments (e.g. if you experienced natural disasters over many years, yet had a loving family, you could also feel like you may not live long). And Hunter's experience of seeing the grimwalker graveyard in Hollow Mind is a shockingly visceral and visual metaphor to symbolize a concept like this, which matches perfectly with his symptomology as a Complex PTSD survivor.

The battle for inner peace has a high price: it is ongoing, and extends beyond him being physically free from Belos. Because Hunter can't just trim away the Belos-related memories from his earliest years and formative years. He can't forget, but he can choose to give those memories less attention, and choose not to let them take the steering wheel in the long-term.

In my opinion, the possession scenes don't just portray the physical experience of an abuser returning to try regaining control or restoring the status quo of having the survivor in their grasp.

The scenes also represent the abuser's imprint upon the survivor that lasts beyond the duration for which Belos is present in Hunter's life. Belos is the kind of abuser that is so insidious that he knows he could leave some marks that outlast his directly physical presence, in the event that he meets his own end. He would have definitely thought about this. Leaving the kind of grisly reminders that won't ever technically fade away (not to be confused with how they can certainly "fade further into the background" via therapy, new positive experiences and the support of loved ones).

For example, the patterns of the permanent scars on Hunter look so much like the patterns on Philip's own face and body. When possessed, the markings were dark green, later faded to the colour of scar tissue once Belos leaves his body.

As we all know, it's hella sad to imagine Hunter having to look at himself in mirrors throughout the rest of his life. It was awful enough that he had the haircut-related panic attack.

If we tie all that back to the symptom of a foreshortened-future view: Hunter might be left with a spooky nebulous feeling (that will alternate between coming back to haunt him, and subsiding) that he too has some expiry date that is different from how the people around him naturally and confidently expect to live a substantially long life. As a cult survivor with C-PTSD, Hunter can't afford the luxury of those natural expectations.

I don't mean that he might plan a day in the future to end his own life, not at all. But he may have a strange ghostly expectation of how long more he has till his life may come to an end, and he wouldn't be sure of how this subconscious expectation came about.

The darker days of navigating the confusing mess of his complex trauma may feel like exhaustion from paddling and swimming to keep your head above water to breathe.

Speaking of water and drowning, plus the theme of sinking down vs. rising back up above the water surface...the fact that Camila jumped in to bring him back up, his friends helped to pull him out, and Flapjack passes new life to him...this is also some crazy powerful symbolism for surviving complex trauma.

Falling back on a support network, your "tribe", that won't abandon you.

My other Hunter analyses (link) go into more detail about his support network and why he needs it.

I was talking to a friend about all this: she has relevant lived experience and mentioned that poor Hunter would reach a milestone birthday and perhaps cry at least a bit on that day, maybe even during the birthday party: out of sheer confusion. The confusion would be silently screaming "But...this doesn't...make sense?". And he might feel confusing waves of darker emotions along with a strange sense of joy.

He may make a decision to start a family with Willow, and a confused questioning voice will bother him now and then with "How are you still here, doing this and living to see this?".

(...also, when is his birthday...? Is it documented in some Emperor's Coven records that they will find..? Even the mere concept of having a birthday is messed up for him to think about, given the purpose behind his creation)

Complex trauma changes its survivors' relationships with the world, not just with people, and this can even apply to their relationships with things like joy and how joy is experienced.

Flapjack's absence would have bred survivor's guilt. It might translate into Hunter questioning whether he is worth the love and effort his friends put in for him. This feeling could emerge at random moments over the years in his life.

Visually, I feel that these two frames - the lighting (which I'd say is unique among all his scenes because they are parts of his arc that stand out so much), his pose, his expression - somehow capture the experience of how complex trauma is chronic and long-term:

The currently most known C-PTSD memoir out there, What My Bones Know by journalist Stephanie Foo, has some content that I feel matches nicely with what Hunter is experiencing in the two separate scenes above.

The author describes something she calls "the dread" (if you get the book, it's first mentioned on page 51). I would call it the amalgamation of multiple things such as shame, the fear of impending harm, self-doubt where you question whether you did something wrong, fearing that someone hates you, etc.

And basically, good lord my poor boy in the first screenshot..with that expression of suspecting what he thought was Belos's presence in the room: something about it fits the book author's words, feeling like she was "on the precipice of fucking everything up".

That's certainly something that would cross Hunter's mind multiple times as he processes the worst night of his life. That he could have done something to prevent all that.

With so much pre-existing worry that his friends and family might actually hate him, the possession scenes and Flapjack's death would definitely shake his foundation and I'm sure he isn't past this kind of ingrained thought pattern at all:

Second, the book author calls C-PTSD a shapeshifting "beast" (page 316). And when she fights it, she must use a different strategy depending on what form it takes, and that it will keep coming back from time to time in another form. Which is why there is a particular exhaustion one feels from having to adapt to each battle.

For Hunter, the second screencap of him fighting Belos's coercion in a direct physical manner is the first of many battles he has to win in his mind, even after Belos is gone for good. Outlasting whatever invisible assailant is trying to get him, as he faces inevitable episodes of being retraumatized in the future: these are called emotional flashbacks (one of the symptoms of C-PTSD).

Being a survivor of complex trauma who experiences a weird sense of time via a foreshortened-future view, can feel like being on the outside looking in.

But! To end this meta on a hopeful note, I should reiterate something from my most recent long meta about Retraumatization vs. Self-Soothing, the first part of Hunter's important speech in Thanks to Them touches on wild magic and palisman. Wild magic represents freedom, while palismen (quoting the Bat Queen) represent close bonds in relationships, emotion, and conviction.

Applying this to how we can navigate the swampy waters of a foreshortened-future view, Hunter can use his newfound freedom and sense of agency to create the story he'd like to tell about his life. It is pretty much impossible to avoid bringing beliefs from our young formative years into adulthood. But expectations (which have a direct link with emotions we end up feeling) of ourselves and of life can be altered over time, so they become less rigid and instead more open to new possibilities.

He has an inquisitive mind which is a big plus point in understanding the impact of what he has been through, and I have full faith that he'll do just fine in that regard because of the courage we have seen in him.

Among the hobbies he explores in the future, flyer derby will be one example of an excellent outlet for him because of its physicality: trauma and grief are not only emotional battlegrounds but also highly physical ones. The body is also very much involved e.g. feeling the lead-like weight of depressive moods in one's body, feeling the physical tension of hypervigilance, etc.

It's fantastic that he has Luz, Willow, Gus and company, he will have a very meaningful career, and he'll have everyone else in his large found family.

His story...his heart...his resilience and vitality...it's all truly inspirational.

We might learn even more about the grimwalkers in the finale and that would undoubtedly prompt me to do a shorter Part 2 on top of this meta.

#toh analysis #toh hunter #grimwalkers #the owl house #loz writes a meta #huntlow

[lovemari]

IMPORTANT: Hello! My old account, Lovemari, got deleted. Therefore, I had to make a new one. I'm honestly pretty upset about this so I'll take some time to recover! Thankfully, all my posts are saved as I write them in google docs before posting. Please like and reblog so I can reach my old followers and potentially new ones!

Family - Scaramouche x Reader

Reminder: I'm not an experienced writer so construction criticism is always welcome! Also, I write for fun. I just wanted to share my work around the world!

Pairing: Scaramouche x Reader

Synopsis: Scaramouche realizes that you're not in the best life, so he makes it better.

Notes: I want to warn you that you have an abusive father in this relationship. words such as “slutty” are used. though, it does have a cute ending!! Also, this isn't stepcest!! I want to point that out. Ei doesn't adopt you! She just treats you like your own! Please don't take it the wrong way.

Scaramouche heard about you from his friends, though he never cared to listen. He didn't pay attention to those who never gained his interest.

That was until today. Scaramouche was your partner for the upcoming history project. He let out a quiet groan as he walked to your desk.

“Listen.” he ordered, “this is a huge part of our grade. Don't mess up.” You took a step back, intimidated by his demand. with a slow, uneasy nod, you sat back to your desk.

Scaramouche looked down with annoyance, “let's go to your house after school.” You looked at him, about to protest but scaramouche cut you off, “we're doing it, whether you like it or not. got it?”

You didn't say anything, though you wanted to. you slumped into your seat, your hands unable to stay still. You were nervous.

After school, you allowed scaramouche to follow you home. It was against your will but you knew Scaramouche's personality quite well.

You quietly opened the door, hoping not to disturb. Scaramouche snickered, “are you always like this?” he judged, clearly getting under your skin. His voice stopped when he looked up to see a tall man, “you slutty child.” He snapped, looking furious. Scaramouche realized that this man was talking about [name]. The man slapped them, “you thought you could be quiet, huh? thought you could sneak in a boy for god knows why?!” he assumed, clearly thinking of the worst.

Scaramouche decided to step in, “we're here for a project, sir.” he explained, trying to keep a modest attitude to the man. The man spit at [name] before walking away.

Scaramouche sighed in relief before helping you up, “is he your father?” he questioned, answered by a nod from you. Scaramouche felt disgusted but hid it, he didn't want to show any vulnerability.

Scaramouche went upstairs, with [name] slowly following behind. He went into your room and locked the door. [Name’s] room was quite babyish. He figured that you probably didn't receive a lot of things.

Scaramouche felt apologetic, “sorry.” he sympathized. It wasn't a lot but [name] already started crying. They hugged scaramouche.

“There, there.” Scaramouche comforted, patting your back. He gave you a light head pat, showing vulnerability and care. Even though he didn't want to, he felt like you needed it.

A few weeks passed by and scaramouche has been taking you to your house every single day. He explained that you should stay away from your father. Although it sounded wrong, it was clearly the right choice.

You and scaramouche didn't really do much. Scaramouche often gave you items to draw with. He thought of it as some sort of therapy for you. He often put some ideas on the table and encouraged you to recreate it.

You felt like this was your second home. Scaramouche's mother, Ei, was extremely sweet and caring, despite her fearful and intimidating figure and occupation.

Ei felt like you were another child, going as far as preparing a bedroom for you and smothering you with love.

As for your father, he didn't care. He told ei to “take the child.” and that “he didn't want it.” Ei did exactly that.

Even though you weren't exactly in the family, you felt loved by the family. You had some feelings for scaramouche, though you never admired them. not now, at least.

You knew scaramouche felt the same way. He often kissed your head, whenever you were drawing. You loved it.

You were basically living with your boyfriend's family. A family who took care of you and treated you as their own and most importantly, a boyfriend who loved you.

#dividers by cafekitsune #☁️ | lovemari's work #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #genshin self insert #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x yn #genshin impact x reader #fluff #genshin scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche fluff #drabble #genshin drabbles #scaramouche drabble #scaramouche x y/n #genshin wanderer #genshin impact wanderer #wanderer x reader #wanderer fanfic #wanderer

[theerurishipper]

Could you please explain why Cat Noir is no longer healing for Adrien after season 4? I technically know the answer but I love your metas <3

Thank you so much for your compliment!

Anyway, about your question. The short version? They made Ladybug treat Chat Noir like Gabriel treats Adrien.

Let me explain. The Ladynoir conflict was about how Ladybug and Chat Noir were experiencing a shift in their dynamic because of Ladybug’s new role as the guardian. Ladybug starts to keep secrets from Chat Noir and leave him out of the loop. She replaces him with Rena Rouge as her primary partner in all but name. And Chat Noir understandably feels neglected and ignored by someone who is supposed to be his partner. His home life is shit, and Ladybug and his life as Chat Noir have always been his escape. Ladybug has been the one who accepted him unconditionally and cared for him with no need for him to change himself to please her. He trusts her with his life and heart, and suddenly, she doesn’t do the same for him. Instead, she’s keeping secrets from him, she’s leaving him out of things and more or less treats him as “just another holder.” And yeah, this is because of her new responsibilities as the Guardian and her trauma from Chat Blanc. But the fact remains that even if she wants to make these changes, she should tell him.

It's pretty obvious now that Marinette has a controlling side to her, and that shows itself more than ever. She wants to control everything, she admits it herself in Strikeback. And that includes Chat Noir. She controls what he knows and what he can do, and denies him information he actually needs. She lashes out at him and dismisses him when he does try to talk to her, like in Kuro Neko. And this behavior is, how do I say it, very much like what Gabriel is. Of course it is more understandable than Gabe and it is certainly nowhere close to the level of Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien, which is abuse plain and simple, but there are some… similarities. They both keep him at a distance, they both start making decisions for him, they both want to have control over everything, and that includes him. They both take advantage of his trust and forgiveness and they both take him for granted.

Again, Ladybug doesn’t go anywhere near the levels Gabe has reached with his treatment of Adrien, but she does in fact take advantage of his trust. Ephemeral is the worst offender here, with Ladybug actively deciding to trick Chat Noir into an identity reveal without his consent. I think it’s awful to do that to someone. And what’s worse is that the episode ends with her not even realizing that she was wrong to do something like that.

Anyway, she’s treating him not unlike the way he’s treated at home. And while her actions are obviously not as severe and not as malicious as Gabe… it doesn’t change the fact that Chat Noir feels suddenly less like an escape, and Ladybug becomes not much different from the people who only like to see him as an object or a perfect little doll. He used to mean something to her as her partner, and now he doesn’t. He’s just another tool in her toolbox. He’s just someone who’s in the way. Ladybug doesn’t care for him anymore. He’s a bother.

She used to roll her eyes at his flirtations, but now she flips out and throws him in a trashcan for them. She used to treat him like an equal partner, but now she yells at him if he tries to talk to her or help her. He’s bothering her. He’s in the way. And he’s not good enough.

So he quits.

And then he decides that he wants to be the partner Ladybug wants. Not Chat Noir, who is his escape and the only way he can be free. No he’s going to be the Adrien side of himself, the perfect doll who wants for nothing except to cater to Ladybug’s needs.

Now, here is where the show loses the plot. Kuro Neko is supposed to be the resolution to the Ladynoir conflict, apparently. And the way it happens is… Adrien putting aside his valid concerns and emotions because Ladybug needs help, and apologizing to her for wanting to be treated with respect. Which is what Gabe taught him. That his feelings don’t matter, and that he should be perfect and cater to everybody’s desires for how he should be. That he shouldn’t have emotional needs because he’s too emotional and he’s a burden on others for having them. He literally says, “the boy who was Chat Noir was probably too sensitive,” which is what Gabe taught him! That Adrien was too emotional to be able to make his own decisions, and so Gabriel had to protect him and keep him in control. He had to be perfect for everyone because in reality, he was too emotional, and no one wanted to see that.

And Ladybug accepts this! She also thinks that Chat Noir is being a bother, and she starts crushing on Catwalker so quickly. And this isn’t salt on her for crushing on Catwalker, but it is so bad from a narrative standpoint and when you consider the implications of that. You see, what Adrien is doing with this whole Catwalker thing is something called fawning. It’s a trauma response because of Gabe's abuse. He pushes aside his own needs and desires to please Ladybug. He assumes responsibility for her mistakes and blames it on himself. At the end of the episode, he apologizes to her! And she just says some things about how he’s irreplaceable to her and how she needs him and all that.

And what is tells me is that Ladybug doesn’t like when Chat Noir has emotional needs and expectations of her in their partnership, and that she likes only boys who take care of her emotional needs without expecting anything in return. Adrien just seems so perfect and unbothered by anything, and he’s always praising and encouraging her. Luka always put her emotional needs first and was always in her corner even when she didn’t pay as much attention to their relationship. And now Catwalker, who says he’ll take care of her. And considering the Love Square from a writing standpoint is supposed to have Ladybug fall for both sides of Chat Noir, seeing her fall so quickly for him when he denies himself his needs and accepts being her emotional support partner is not the best look.

And what’s worse is that this reaction from Adrien is because he is an abuse victim. He is once again, putting on a mask to make himself into the person Ladybug wants. And they specifically say that he should act like the “perfect son” side of himself, so Adrien is acting the way for Ladybug the way he usually acts for Gabriel. And he ends the episode by apologizing for having emotions and for inconveniencing her. And since Adrien pushing aside his own desires is a trauma response, and Ladybug likes people who don’t inconvenience her with their emotions, it comes across as Ladybug benefitting from Chat Noir being traumatized, and it’s so great for her that Chat Noir comes pre-abused and ready to supress his emotional needs and cater to hers while demanding nothing from her.

Yikes.

But let’s move on to Strikeback, where Ladybug admits her mistakes. She admits she wanted to control things, that she pushed him away and left him in the dark. He hugs and reassures her he’s always here, and it’s beautiful and sweet. The Ladynoir conflict was not resolved, but surely, they would address it next season, right? Surely, we would get episodes of Ladybug apologizing and working to make up for her mistakes, right? Surely Chat Noir wouldn’t just forget this treatment, right?

It's never brought up again in Season 5. In fact, Season 5, where the Gabriel-Marinette parallels are really hammered down onto us, ends with Marinette siding with Gabriel and lying to Adrien about his entire existence. So, the entire conflict ends with Chat Noir putting aside his own emotional needs because Ladybug is sad, and he just accepts that he’ll never be treated with the respect that he wanted. Ladybug doesn’t learn squat, and she just does the same things again, but even worse this time.

At this point, they have their own toxic cycle. Ladybug does something to Chat, he puts his own needs aside to forgive and support her instead/accepts the blame onto himself, she does it again. All the while, he’s offering her emotional support while pushing away any of his feelings so that he doesn’t inconvenience her with them. When he does seem at the end of his rope, she says something along the lines of “I need you,” or “you’re irreplaceable to me,” and he comes right back to her, ready to continue being her emotional support partner even though she never actually fixes her mistakes. And while she obviously does mean what she says to him, her actions prove otherwise, and they end up coming across as similar to those little concessions Gabe gives Adrien so that he won’t get away from him. And this is never resolved. Season 5 ignored it, but it was never resolved, and the finale just brings it back full throttle with Marinette literally siding with Gabriel and doing what he wants.

This should have been an arc showing how Ladybug’s and Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien is ultimately different. They both make the same mistakes, though Gabriel is worse. But what’s different is that Ladybug actually does love and value Chat Noir, and she would never go as far as that because learns and grows, and because she is a good person. But instead, they had the protagonist act like the love interest’s abuser, established a bunch of parallels between them, and had her literally follow his request on how to treat his victim. They flat out went beyond it being a coincidental parallel. She’s literally doing what he wants at his own request. Not a good look for the abuse victim’s girlfriend to be behaving like the abuser.

But that was a long tangent. Anyway, to sum it up, Chat Noir was supposed to be Adrien’s escape from a toxic, controlling environment into one where he could be free. But everything changed when Season 4 attacked. And Adrien goes back to his trauma responses that he tries to escape from as Chat Noir, and this is treated as good and correct by the narrative. His hero life is also now being controlled, and Ladybug is behaving like Gabriel. His life where he once felt free is just another prison.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Gabriel Agreste #Ladybug #Chat Noir #ML Salt #Marinette Salt #S5 Finale #Asks #Meta #My meta #Abuse tw #Abuse cw #Ladynoir conflict

[lostinvasileios]

im very sorry for asking this and please ignore it if its too much but,

have you.... ever been... su1c1d4l during your journey? did it... i dont know, ever make your deities feel... disrespected? like, you cant stop feeling so depressed and hopless and it just sort of hurts them? something like that? im sorry i dont know how to phrase it

thank you for reading this im so sorry if it triggered you or anything

Greetings, sweetbee. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, please, don't feel worried about reaching out to someone about this. I'm happy to help. 🩷🩷

Okay, so... Baby bee, it doesn't hurt deities when you feel depressed. When you battle suicidal thoughts. Or anything else that falls under those categories. Self harm, abusive environments, ect. They don't expect you to live for them, they don't expect you to suddenly become happy and for your mental illnesses &/or struggles to just pop out of existence because you're now worshiping or practicing.

Because they understand it.

I believe gods were once human a few times. I believe that gods understand the conditions, the harm, the - well - everything. They aren't going to approach your vulnerability with demands.

Now... I did struggle with it. I still do from time to time. I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression since I was in the 2nd grade. And, in no way did it ever... Harmfully impact my relationship with my deities. My self harming never made them disgusted, they never judged me for the ways I'd cope, for the triggers I had, for the needs they met during my toughest times.

Yes, you can live for a deity or deities. I actually do it. It saved my life. But it's optional. And they won't feel - betrayed, or something like that because you cannot say with certainty you'll live for them. That you'll survive for them.

I didn't have a reason to keep living, I didn't see one. And that's why my deities became it. That's why we swore it to one another. Not out of obligation, not out of fear of them being hurt from otherwise.

In my experience, the only hurt I've seen from my deities regarding my mental issues and ect, was - well - the pain it caused me. It pained them to see me in pain. But it didn't make them want to leave me, it didn't make them irritated or feel disrespected because I cried in their presence. They didn't feel disrespected when I had so many fears and doubts that I for a long time couldn't even believe they were really... Real.

Deities know the difference from fear, from sorrow and pain speech, to disrespect and blatant hateful speech. They know your intentions, even if you yourself do not.

It can hurt your deities when they witness their beloved going through such a hard time. When they see them going through abuse, torment, and inflicting that pain on themselves, or seeing it as they deserved it/ect.

Deities want you to live a life that makes you happy, that's - healthy and loving for you. For your soul. They don't want to see their loved devotee/practitioner off themselves, to cut or starve themselves, to punish themselves for what other people did to them or what they feel is deserving of doing so. If that makes sense. They want to help. To be there. To try and let you see that you are lovable, that there is a life out there for you, that - you're worth it.

Apollon witnessed my depression firsthand when I started practicing. He didn't scowl at me when I was crying my heart out. Snotting and gasping, just - being a very big mess in front of him. He didn't see me as weak or as disrespectful. In fact, I've found out that deities - enjoy it. Well, not seeing you so upset, of course. But they enjoy that you trust them enough to do that with them.

To let yourself be so - raw. To feel these deep, stabbing emotions around them. From what I've experienced, they love being able to comfort their sweet ones. They love being able to tenderly hold them and shower them in kisses &/or kind words. To - reassure them.

Apollon listened to my vents night after night, he held my hands and let me know I was heard. I was - seen. I was loved.

Despite how much I feared love, despite how much I thought nobody would ever be able to understand, my deities showed me just that. Understanding, love, care, gentleness, and everything else I thought I never deserved. Especially not from beings so beautiful and perfect in my eyes.

You don't need to be scared to show your emotions around your deities. To show them your wounds. To - show them your pain. Just as, you don't need to be afraid to show them your happiness. Your interests. Your safe spaces.

Your deities want to be there for you, I promise. 🌼

#to: apollon #to: my king #to: hypnos #to: dionysus #to: eros #to: loki #to: yeshua #to: hekate #to: psyche #to: pelé #to: satanas #to: lucifer #to: aphrodite #to: the unnamed ones #witchcraft #witch advice #deities #deity work #deity witch #mother witch advice #baby witch #beginner witch #witch #witchblr #theistic satanist #theistic satanism #satanism #deity comfort #deity love #recovery

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Come Smell the Roses

Wake Up: Chapter 5

Series Masterlist           Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader 

summary: In an attempt to stop the advances of an unwanted suitor, Matt Murdock accidentally condemns you to being his fake girlfriend.

warnings: This one is a bit more intense. Canon typical violence, attempted mugging, misogynistic language, suggested sexual assault themes (no graphic descriptions of non-con but its slightly implied), swearing, reader is very much a damsel in distress

a/n: We finally meet the Devil! I had a hard time writing Matt in Devil!mode so please give me any feedback you have. As always, likes, reblogs, comments, and requests are incredibly appreciated!

w/c: 2.8k

Matt swiped a club across the temple of the man in front of him, impatient and less than forgiving of the man’s ambition to hook teenagers on drugs. Taking back to the roofs of the kitchen, he crouched and listened—waiting for another cry for help. Soon enough, the scream of a child echoed through the streets and Matt took off. 

First a drug dealer, then an abusive father, then a scummy property manager, then a trigger happy mugger. The line of abhorrent men kept growing, not helping Matt’s anger in the slightest. 

Punch after punch, his rage would not lessen. The emotions in his chest were crashing over him, drowning him, and no amount of devil-ing would pull him up. Taking these monsters off the streets couldn’t save everyone, it couldn’t save you. He gave his hair a tug, the desire to be comforted and the need to hit something until he bled clashing in his mind. How easy it would be to just rip off the suit and ask you to come over. To lie in your arms for hours, letting you stroke his hair and help him block out the rest of the world. 

While he was still wracked with guilt at the idea of taking advantage of your kindness, he needed you. It was so selfish, but he was hooked on the way you made him feel. Throughout all his years, and relations with many many women, he’d never experienced something like this. A dependency on your bubbling laugh and the way you could lift an immense weight off of his chest with a single gesture, like you’d been trained to do just that.

The sound of your smile bleeding into your voice when you were excited. The fact that he could practically feel a pinch on his skin when your brow furrowed in concern at his self-deprecation. The way your constant observations of his behavior made you feel like a mind reader at times. You always knew what he needed, and you gave it no matter the cost. 

Matt cursed himself internally for dragging you into his bullshit. But he was in too deep. He craved you so intensely that no other option held a candle to you. Pulling out his phone, he clenched his jaw. His fingers strained to type in your number, his ears fervently awaiting your voice, but he couldn’t do it. With a roar of frustration, he shut his phone, guilt decidedly outweighing his desire to be touched, loved. 

Growling, he set off in the direction of the bar you and your friends were drinking at. If his damned emotions wouldn’t give him peace, the least he could allow himself was a sliver of comfort. 

Reaching the club, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as he found your heartbeat. Breathing in, he listened as you laughed at a joke one of your friends was telling. Taking a moment to let you wash over his senses. Hearing you squeal as your favorite song came on. Smiling while you and your friends started drunkenly singing, or yelling, along. After hours of pure irritation, letting his lips quirk up felt wonderful. Sitting down on the roof across from the building sheltering you, Matt leaned against the cool bricks and closed his eyes. 

Breathing slowly, his state became almost meditative. Counting each pump of your heart, his heart swelling with every giggle that escaped you. He didn’t deserve you, this much he knew, but damn if he wasn’t tempted to let your voice become the soundtrack of his life. 

While it felt like mere minutes, he was shaken from his haze when he heard you bidding your friends goodnight.

Taking a minute to embrace each of them, you gave your friends a final wave before exiting the club to wait for your Uber. Thinking back, it might not have been the best idea to stand alone on a curb behind a popular bar as a young woman while waiting for your ride home. Men couldn’t be trusted. 

A large, stumbling figure approached you. He could’ve been handsome, if his gaze wasn’t utterly predatory. You shifted uncomfortably, turning your attention away from the man as he undressed you with his eyes. 

“Hey there, baby. Spare a dollar?” His tongue darted out to wet his chapped lips as he took a few clumsy steps in your direction. 

Your footing faltered as you scrambled away from him. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me. My boyfriend’s just around the corner, actually, I should really be meeting him.” Eyes darting around, you realized with horror that you were completely alone with this man. 

“He ain’t such a great boyfriend if he left you unattended, is he, princess?” Your stomach clenched, the disgusting pet name reminding you of another vile creature from your past. 

“He didn’t leave me alone. I think I’ll be going to find him now.” You backed away from the guy as hastily as you could, but he grabbed your arm. “Hey!” You shrieked, struggling against his painful grasp. 

“Don’t worry, princess. I’m sure your boyfriend won’t mind if you give me that expensive purse of yours. I probably need it more than you do, don’t ya think” He sneered at you, shoving you into an alley. Landing on your tailbone rather harshly, you cried out and began crawling away from him. 

“Please! Just leave me alone! I don’t have any money, I swear!” Tears were welling in your eyes as you cursed yourself for forgetting your pepper spray. 

Desperately looking around for any sort of weapon, you grabbed a shard of glass from a nearby broken bottle and sliced at the man’s legs as he ambled towards you. As the piece made contact, the man howled with rage, grabbing your arm and twisting it behind your back until you dropped the makeshift weapon. The man shoved you against the alley wall, your head making a sickening conk as it collided with brick. He gripped your neck and snarled. 

“You little bitch. You’ll pay for that.” He spit at you as you clawed at his hands, desperate for air. 

You pleaded with any available cosmic forces, begging them to not let this happen. The edges of your vision darkened before a voice sounded at the end of the alley. 

“Let her go. Now.” The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen growled at the man holding you, stalking towards him murderously. The man scoffed, barely glancing his way before doing a double take. His hands fell away from your throat and you dropped to the ground, gasping. 

“Shit, man, I don’t want any trouble. Just trying to make a living.” 

“Funny, I don’t remember society deciding that assaulting women was an acceptable form of employment. Step the fuck away from her or, so help me, you’ll feel nothing but agony for the rest of your miserable fucking life.” The man in black gripped a metal club in one hand, pressing towards your attacker as you clumsily scrabbled away from the pair. 

“It won’t happen again, man. I swear!” The perpetrator implored. 

“Lie.” Daredevil snapped, lunging for the man and throwing him against the wall. You covered your eyes, your head was pounding and nausea grew in your gut. The sounds of a struggle rang in your ears before you heard the loud thump of a body hitting the ground. 

You peeked through your fingers, seeing your attacker lying on the pavement. “Is he dead?”

“Unconscious.” The Devil approached you cautiously, hands clenched as if holding back from trying to help you. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

A sob broke through your lips, cracking Matt’s heart clean in half. “Yah, he…um…he—“ 

“Hey, it’s alright. You don’t need to relive it. Where are you hurt?” He crouched in front of you, far enough to not make you uncomfortable. (Little did you know just how much he ached to hold you, to apologize for taking so long to intervene.) 

“Hit my head, a—a bit. And m-my back.” You stammered, panting with residual fear. 

“Shit. Ok. Do you have someone who can take you to the hospital?” 

“No! I’m ok. No hospital necessary! I’ll be alright.” You started to clamber to your feet, keening sideways before your savior caught you. Strangely, the way he held you felt familiar. Despite not knowing him, you didn’t feel the urge to pull away—in fact, you leaned into his embrace slightly, appreciating the support as your vision swam. 

“Head wounds aren’t something to mess around with. I can call an ambulance if you’d like. You should really—“ 

“Please don’t!” You wailed, grasping the fabric of his suit and looking at him with wild eyes. “The paramedics, they’ll want to know what happened and I—I can’t…” you broke off into sobs, falling against his chest as your legs gave out. 

“Ok, hey, you’re ok. If you won’t go to a hospital, I have a friend who can look you over. I’ll give you her number, but you have to promise to call her, ok?” You nodded, regretting it immediately as your head pounded. “Alright. Let’s get you a cab home. She can meet you there.”

You halted as he helped you out of the alley, looking at him with intense gratitude. “Thank you. You saved my life.” 

“Anytime, sweetness.” He squeezed your arm before allowing you to step into the cab. “Promise me you’ll give her a call.” 

“Promise. Thank you.” 

With a curt nod, he gracefully scaled the side of the building and disappeared. 

The cab ride was immediately torturous. Your nausea was steadily building and your head pounded with the worst ache you’d ever felt. Feeling tears well up in your eyes once again, you arduously pulled out your phone, calling the one person who would make you feel safe again. 

It took two rings for Matt to answer. “Hey, angel. Everything ok?” 

The overwhelming concern laced in his voice broke your resolve. “No, I’m not ok, Matty and I—I need you, please.” You choked out through tears. 

“Oh love, what happened? Are you at your place?” Matt sounded breathless, like he was on a run or something. 

You sniffled miserably. “Not there yet. Will be soon. Someone hurt me, Matty. He—he tried to—“ Your ragged breaths cut off your explanation. 

“It’s alright, angel. Just breathe. I’m on my way. Did you want me to stay on the phone with you?” 

“Please don’t hang up.” You bawled. 

“I won’t, love. I’m here. Right here, ok? Take a deep breath for me, sweetness. I’ll be with you soon.” 

At fucking last, he reached his apartment, he ripped off his suit, throwing on civilian clothes before throwing a few things in a bag and sprinting for your place. 

Getting you settled safely in your apartment was an endeavor. You’d somehow made it inside but went to the wrong floor. When he found you on the floor above your own, you were confused and in pain. He’d comforted you a bit, having to bring you away from the brink of a panic attack when you realized you couldn’t remember where your keys were. After you had calmed down marginally, he had scooped you up and carried you inside. 

While the pair of you waited for Claire, Matt’s shame consumed him as he heard you writhe and moan on the couch in agony. Your memories of the night had faded, though your anxiety would not fade. Your brain knew something had happened to you, but your injury made the thoughts of the attack murky. Matt’s jaw clenched as a fresh spiral of blame hit him—you were hurt because he wasn’t there. He has failed you. 

“Ma-Matty..?” You whined through gritted teeth. Matt, who hadn’t even realized he’d been impatiently pacing, was at your side in an instant. 

“I’m right here, pretty girl. What do you need?” 

“Jus’ you. Please. Don’ feel good. ” Your shaking hand limply grabbed at his shirt. He cradled your head and lovingly placed you across his lap. You curled into him,  with a mumble. “‘M cold, ‘nd tired. Can we sleep yet?”

“Not yet, sweetness. Claire is coming to talk with you, then you can sleep, ok?” 

Your breath rattled around a stifled sob, but you trusted him. “M’kay.” 

“You’re being so strong for me, angel. My good, strong girl. I’m so sorry it hurts.” He stroked a hand over your back, drawing soft patterns in your skin. You relaxed ever so much under his touch, melting into him bit by bit.

After what felt like hours, Claire arrived. Despite your exhaustion and trauma-laced evening, you were your sweet self as Claire examined you. A little out of it and not as talkative, but polite and obedient. Claire quickly decided you were her preferred patient. Giving your shoulder a squeeze and wishing you well, the nurse tugged Matt into your kitchen to give him instructions for your care. 

“I know this won’t be a shock to either of you, but she’s got a moderate concussion. She’s clearly in a great deal of pain so I’ll leave some meds here for that as well as for the nausea. Cold cloths on her forehead might help until the meds kick in. If she loses more of her memory or starts exhibiting mood swings that are abnormal, call me. You know as well as I do that stress will make the injury worse. She’s clearly shaken up so if you think she needs more help, call me.” 

“I will, Claire. Thank you. I’m sorry to have to call you.” 

Claire gave the lawyer a hug, stepping back and glancing at your form sadly. “She’s sweet. And good for you. Take care of her, but don’t forget about yourself, yah?” 

Matt gave a dry chuckle. “I’ll try my best. Thank you for helping her. She means a lot to me.”

“I can tell.” Claire looked at Matt with a small smile on her face. With a squeeze of his arm, she headed out. 

Filling a glass with water, he returned to you, shaking out the appropriate pills and taking note of the time. Beside him, your breaths deepened as you nodded off. Stroking your cheek lightly, Matt whispered, “Meds first, sweet girl. Then you can sleep.” 

Your brow pinched as you tried to understand what he meant, but you took your pills without hesitation. Kneading at your face, you tried to get the ache to dissipate somewhat but had no success. 

“Careful, sweetness.” Matt pried your hands away from your face, fingers trailing lightly over your forehead which made you whimper and lean into his touch. “C’mon. Let’s go get some sleep.” 

Nodding as stiffly as you could, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he hoisted you from the couch. Once securely tucked into bed, Matt turned to retrieve your water and pills, but your hand shot out to grab his wrist. “Where ‘re you goin’?” Your voice cracked with worry. 

“I’m just going to move some things around. I’ll be right back.” Matt promised, petting your hair cautiously. 

“Leavin’?” The smell of salt wafted towards him as your throat closed around a new wave of tears. 

“Not leaving, sweetness. I’m still right here. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Need you, Matty. Don’ want anything else. Please.” Gripping his wrist tightly, you tugged him towards the bed. Regret welled in his own throat. If you knew what he was, that he hadn’t saved you, you wouldn’t want him. This much he knew. 

Matt shook his head to clear the dark thoughts. You needed him right now, self-hatred could wait. “Ok, sweet girl. I’m coming.” As gracefully as he could with you still latched onto him, he slid under the covers next to you. Nestling into his chest with a content sigh, your breaths deepened. If it wasn’t for his amplified senses, he might not have heard your dazed whisper. 

“Love you, Matty.” 

“I love you too, angel.” He murmured after you were asleep, pressing a kiss to your head and securing his arms protectively around you. “And I’m sorry.”

Waking up to a pounding headache, you sighed. Matt was still knotted around you, taking the edge off of the horrid night you'd had. As you turned over to relieve pressure in your head, a sound ran through your mind.

“Anytime, sweetness.” 

God, you loved when he used that name. In sleep, Matt pulled you closer to him, his face ruffling through your hair. A smile graced your lips as his protective embrace sparked a sense of deja vu. Where had you experienced…

Oh my god. Oh my god. Your frazzled mind finally began to piece together the strange familiarity you’d felt when the Devil had rescued you. Your eyes widened and you gasped almost inaudibly. Matt groaned softly, nestling in closer to you. Your throat clenched with emotion.

Matt was Daredevil. And he’d saved your life. 

I hope you enjoyed! I am writing the final chapter of this fic as we speak (there are 8 total so you still have some content coming, don't worry.) If anyone has ideas for one-shots or future fics in this verse, please send them to me! I'd love suggestions.

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