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once-upon-an-imagine · 5 months

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You're Still The One - Sirius Black

A/N: ahh! well here it is! I really hope you loves like it as much as the preview! so, here we go!

Requests: - Anonymous asked: Sirius x Potter!sister where she raises Harry and they reunite once he’s out of Azkaban but she has to tell him that he’s a father too (up to you if they had a son or daughter) - twilightlover2007 asked: I would love to see post-askaban Sirius with a single mama(witch or muggle). The little one could be hers or she adopted the child when her friends were killed, thinking the little one is 6months to a year and when able to walk the little one just FOLLOWS Sirius everywhere. Even bumping into his legs when he stops walking suddenly. His own little duckling! Please and thank you!

Warnings: this is very much AU because Sirius gets out of Azkaban earlier and Remus was kinda working his case and visiting him there, so if you don't like that then, this is not the story for you xD, also mentions of sex and I think that's it but let me know if I missed anything!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You're Still The One

You’re still the one I run to The one that I belong to You’re still the one I want for life

“Hey, Remus, do you have any milk? I ran out and didn’t have time to go to the store-”

As soon as you walked into Remus’ home, Sirius instantly froze when he heard your voice. That beautiful voice he hadn’t heard in three years. It wasn’t something unusual for you to walk into the next house as casually as you did. But this wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. Sirius was still getting ready to see you. Which is why, when you came back up, the milk bottle slipped out of your hand and broke down on the floor as soon as you saw someone standing in the living room— a half-naked someone covered in tattoos, who definitely wasn’t Remus.

“Love” Sirius smiled, looking at you. The same smile he always had when he looked at you. He was about to walk your way, but you quickly grabbed what was nearest to you, which happened to be the newspaper on the table. You cursed silently for leaving your wand in your own kitchen. “What are you gonna do? Kill a spider-?”

“Who are you?”

“Bambi, it’s me-” he started, but you backed away.

“No! Do not call me that! It can’t be you! Y-you’re not here!” you said, feeling your eyes welling up.

He couldn’t be here. Sirius was in Azkaban. You knew that. You hadn’t seen him in three years. He couldn’t be just standing here in the middle of Remus’ living room.

“Sweetheart, I can explain-”

“REMUS!”

“What?” you heard Remus’ voice coming downstairs with clothes for Sirius. “Oh shit” he muttered when he spotted you.

“What the fuck is going on?” you asked, still with the newspaper in front of you.

“Calm down, okay?”

“Calm down!?”

“Bambi-”

“Shut up! Don’t call me that!” you said, turning to Sirius with your paper and he placed his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, put the paper down” Remus said, walking closer to you and pointing his wand to clean up the milk on the floor. "Just calm down, and listen to me, okay?"

"I'm listening..."

"Are you calmed?" Remus asked.

"...I'm listening" you repeated.

“Look, first of all, please don’t be mad at Moony, okay? I asked him not to tell you I was getting out until we were sure” Sirius insisted.

“Oh, and just how long were the two of you in on this?”

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look you had seen too many times back at Hogwarts before Remus responded.

“Two months” he said, taking a few steps back when you were going to hit him with the paper again but Sirius got in the middle.

“TWO MONTHS! You have been in touch with Sirius and you knew he was getting out and you hid this from me for two months?! You knew all this time and you didn’t tell me? You kept the love of my life away from me?”

“So, I’m still the love of your life?”

“I don’t know! I’m still mad at you!”

“What? Why are you mad at me for? Be mad at Moony!”

“Oi! You just told her not to be mad at me!”

“I know but I’d rather have her be mad at you than me!”

“Enough!” you yelled, making the two of them look at you. “One of you just… tell me what the bloody hell is going on!”

“I didn’t do it, love” Sirius told you.

“Well, I obviously know that part” you frowned.

“Y-you do?”

“I told you” Remus repeated, rolling his eyes. “Look, I didn’t want to tell you until we were certain and we could actually have enough to get him out” Remus explained.

“Why are you two looking at me like that? The last time you looked at me like that, you told me Remus was a werewolf” you said, nervously.

“It was Peter” Remus told you.

“W-what?” you asked, feeling your heart drop. You slowly sat down on Remus’ kitchen table. The two friends looked at each other and sat down with you. “B-but Peter’s dead-”

“He’s not” Sirius told you. “We decided, James and I…” he said, noticing the pained expression on your face when he mentioned your brother. “I suggested Peter should be the Secret-Keeper and not me. We didn’t tell anyone” he explained. “I- I didn’t think he would-” he choked as a few tears ran down his face. “I am so sorry, love” he said, trying to grab your hand but you quickly pulled it away.

“James would have told me” you said, not really knowing what else to think. You always knew it wasn’t Sirius. It couldn’t have been. You knew Sirius would die before he’d let anything happen to James or Lily. But you couldn’t believe it was Peter either. “H-how come none of us knew?”

“We thought it was best that way” Sirius confessed. “After… what happened” he continued. “I tracked Peter down and when I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I’d betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself- and sped down into the sewer with the other rats” he explained.

“Scabbers” you muttered. “He’s been hiding as Scabbers this whole time?” you said as more tears ran down your face.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I had to find him first” Remus told you. “I couldn’t get Sirius out if they still thought Peter was dead” he explained.

“So you-” you said, looking at Remus. “Y-you found him? You found Peter?”

“I did” Remus nodded.

“And he’s-?”

“He is” Sirius assured you.

“H-how long have you known it was Peter?” you asked Remus, who nervously looked at Sirius.

“Since the night Sirius was taken away” Remus replied and you only nodded.

“D-do you have any other questions, love?” Sirius asked.

“What time is it?” you questioned, getting up. “I have to go back and make breakfast and-”

“I’ll take care of that” Remus said, getting up too. “I think there’s still a lot you two need to talk about he said, looking between you and Sirius before he pulled you closer to him as Sirius went back to get the clothes Remus had brought for him. “He doesn’t know” he informed you and your eyes widened in surprise.

“Y-you didn’t tell him?”

“I couldn’t” Remus admitted. “Look, I know you begged me a million times to take you to see him-”

“You always said no!”

“Yes, because he made me promise to never take you there and he’s right. You don’t ever want to see that horrible place” he said. “And you wouldn’t want to see him that way” he continued. “He was completely shattered, and the biggest part that was killing him was that he had failed you and Harry. So, I didn’t have the heart to tell him there was someone else. It would have killed him” he explained.

“Okay” you nodded.

You knew it wasn’t Remus’ story to tell. You had to do that. It just made you incredibly anxious but when you looked back at Sirius, you felt the same butterflies you did so many years ago. This was Sirius. Your Sirius.

“It’ll be okay, love” Remus said, kissing the side of your head. “I’ll be next door when you’re ready” he smiled.

“Thanks, Rem” you smiled back at him, giving him a hug.

“Just please don’t have sex on my bed… again” he muttered, making you push him off.

“No promises” you chuckled.

“I mean it, Potter!” you heard him yell as he left.

“What’s he on about?” Sirius asked as you entered the living room.

“He doesn’t want us to have sex on his bed” you told him. “Again.”

“Well, there goes my question to know if you wanted to go have sex on Moony’s bed again” he said, raising his eyebrow suggestively at you and making you chuckle slightly.

“I think we scarred him for life when he walked in on us in school” you reminded him, making him laugh. Merlin, how you had missed his laugh. You slowly walked closer to Sirius and sat on the sofa too.

“Hi, sunshine” he smiled at you.

“Hi” you said shyly, playing with your hands, which Sirius knew meant you were nervous. He slowly reached out and held your hand in his. “I’m sorry” you smiled, shedding a few tears and squeezing his hand tighter.

“Why are you sorry, love?”

“I don’t know” you chuckled. “For threatening you with a newspaper?”

“It’s not the first time” he reminded you before you threw your arms around his shoulders and he quickly wrapped his around your waist, bringing you closer.

“I missed you so much” you said, clinging on to him, feeling that they would rip him away from you again at any second.

“I missed you too, my love” he said, feeling his eyes watering as well.

“I-” you said, sighing. “How-” you stuttered. “I- um-”

“I’m fine, love” he assured you, knowing that’s what you wanted to ask him. “I’m here with you and I’m gonna be fine, and that’s all that matters, okay?”

“I knew you didn’t do it” you said, with your voice breaking a little. Sirius pulled you away and cupped your cheeks with his hands. “You know that, right?”

“Of course, I know that, sweetheart” he assured you. “You and Harry were the only thing keeping me sane in that place” he said. “I knew I had to make my way back to the two of you” he smiled.

“S-Sirius-”

“Oh, and Moony, if he asks, I mean” he smiled. “How is Harry? He’s about four now, right?”

“He is, b-but um, Sirius-”

“Merlin, I am dying to see him! I bet he looks just like…” he stopped, not wanting to mention James’ name again and make you upset. “Um… does he- uh… does he know about me?”

“He does” you nodded, making him smile brightly at you. “But… um… Sirius, there’s… something we need to talk about” you said, nervously.

“Oh, I… well, I understand if you don’t want me to see him… right away, I mean, I don’t want to come back here and expect you to change your whole life for me. That’s regarding us as well, I mean, I guess we should have that conversation-”

“Sirius!” you said, getting up and walking away from him. You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down. “I know that… there’s a lot of things that we have to discuss and talk about but… um…” you said, looking away and sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. “There’s something very important that I need to tell you” you said feeling extremely anxious.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asked, worriedly. “Is it about Harry? Do you not want me to see him yet?” he said. “Cause I would understand if-”

“No, um, is not about that” you said. “Well, I mean, it is, but… umm… Sirius” you said, taking a deep breath as he held your hands in his. “There’s… there’s someone else” you said, making him let go of your hands instantly.

“Oh” he said, with his expression stiffening a little as he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. “I uh-” he cleared his throat. “Well, I uh-” he said, brushing a hand through his hair frustrated. “I didn’t think you’d be waiting for me and- I um-”

“W-what? No! Sirius, that is not what I mean!” you said, grabbing his hands again and he looked at you, still a bit unsure. “Sirius… you are the love of my life” you said, with a few tears rolling down your cheeks again. “That was never going to change. I would have always been waiting for you” you assured him. “What I meant was is… there’s someone else… other than Harry” you added.

“W-what do you mean?”

“Um… a few weeks after they took you away I… I found out I was pregnant” you informed him.

“Y-you-? W-what?” he asked, looking stunned. “Y-you- um- we, we have a child?” he asked, feeling his heart beating incredibly fast and breaking at the same time.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I… didn’t really know how. And Remus wouldn’t let me go with him-”

“No!” he snapped a little, bringing you closer to him. “I never wanted you to go there or see me like that” he said, cupping your cheek with his hand. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry you had to go through this all by yourself! I- I wasn’t here for you! I-”

“No, Sirius, you don’t have to be sorry” you assured him.

“I can’t believe we have a kid” he said with a beautiful smile appearing on his face and you gently grabbed his hand from your cheek.

“Her name is Lyra” you said, making Sirius’ heart stop again as he felt tears rolling down his cheeks.

“We have a girl?” he asked, choking a little and you nodded, smiling.

“Would you like to meet her?”

“R-really?”

“I know there’s still a million things we have to talk about but, if you want to, I would love for you to see Harry and meet Lyra” you said getting up and pulling him with you. “Ready?” you started walking towards the door but Sirius didn’t move. “Sirius?”

“D-do you think they’ll like me?” he asked worriedly, warming your heart. You cupped his cheek and smiled at him.

“They’re gonna love you” you assured him. “They already do. Harry has always been dying to know his uncle Padfoot” you informed him. “I told him he was traveling around the world so he’s probably going to ask you a billion questions” you said, smiling. “And he’s always telling Lyra how cool you are” you added. “She smiles a lot when she sees your picture” you explained. “I told you, I knew you didn’t do it” you said. “And I was not going to let Harry or your daughter grow up thinking you were a-” you choked, not able to finish that sentence. You were never able to. You never believed Sirius would kill your brother and his wife. He would have died before let anything happen to them.

“I love you” he said, hugging you closer to him. “I love you so much” he said with tears streaming down his face as he brought you closer, kissing your forehead.

“I love you too” you smiled, wiping away his tears before you pulled him closer and kissed him. It felt like every single time you had kissed Sirius. It didn’t matter what else the two of you had to discuss. Your feelings hadn’t changed. You knew that. Sirius was the love of your life. And now, he was back.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

As soon as Sirius walked into the house next door to Remus’, he instantly felt at home, just like he did when he ran away to your parents’ house all those years ago. Except it was a lot cozier and it certainly had your touch everywhere.

“Please don’t mind the mess” you smiled nervously at him as you started grabbing some things and finding your wand somewhere so you quickly fixed everything up. “I would have cleaned up but- um… well, I wasn’t really expecting-”

Sirius cut you off by giving you a peck on the lips. “Please don’t ever apologize for that. Not to me, love” he insisted and you smiled back at him.

“Harry, are you up, sweetie?” you asked, hearing noise coming from the kitchen.

“I’m in here, Aunt Bambi” you heard. You were about to walk over there but Sirius pulled you back.

“Aunt Bambi?” he asked with an arched eyebrow.

“He kept pestering me one day asking why Moony had a nickname, his father had a nickname and you had a nickname, and I didn’t, so Remus told him you used to call me Bambi, and… it kind of stuck with him” you explained.

“I’m glad you kept hearing that nickname you claim to hate so much” he smirked.

“It kinda grew on me” you admitted, rolling your eyes a little. “Hi sweetheart” you said, spotting Harry with chocolate all over his face.

“Uncle Moony made chocolate chip pancakes!” he said, excitedly.

“I can see that” you chuckled, walking over to him and cleaning his face. “And where is Uncle Moony?”

“He’s upstairs, changing Lyra” he replied as you finished cleaning him up.

“Um, honey, I would like you to meet someone” you said as Sirius stood at the entrance. You saw Harry’s face light up as he got off the stool and ran over to him.

“UNCLE PADFOOT!”

“Hey, bud” Sirius said, kneeling to pick Harry up. “You’re so big now!”

“It’s so cool that you’re here!” Harry said excitedly. “Uncle Moony has told me so many stories about you!” he said, making Sirius smile back at you. “What are you doing home?”

“Well, bud, I guess I just… missed you all so much” he said, kissing Harry’s head before putting him down.

“Do you want to see my broom? Aunt Bambi says it’s just like the one you and dad had, but she never lets me fly it-!”

“Hey, that’s not true” you complained.

“She won’t teach me Quidditch either-!”

“That’s because I don’t play Quidditch and neither does your Uncle Moony” you reminded him.

“But you said Uncle Padfoot played” he said, excitedly before turning back to Sirius. “Would you teach me?”

“Of course, I would” Sirius said, feeling his eyes water a little.

“Are you okay, Uncle Padfoot?” Harry asked a bit confused.

“Yeah, mate. I’m fine” he said, giving him another big hug. “I just… missed you so much” he said, with his voice breaking a little.

“Why don’t you go get your broom, love? I’m sure your uncle Padfoot would love to see it” you said, kissing his forehead.

“Yes! I will be right back!” he said excitedly, jumping up and down before he ran upstairs.

“You okay?” you asked, Sirius who was still looking Harry’s way.

“He just…” he said with a few tears rolling down his cheeks. “He looks so much like…”

“James, I know” you finished for him, pulling him closer. “He has Lily’s eyes though” you smiled.

“He does” Sirius said, kissing your temple. “I’m so sorry, love” he said, making you look at him a bit confused. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you” he said, cupping your cheek. “I-” he sighed. “How-” he stuttered. “I- um-”

“I’m okay” you smiled sweetly. “I mean, there are good days… and not-so-good days” you admitted. “I just miss him” you said with a few tears falling from your eyes. “And I hate that he and Lily aren’t here to see Harry” you said.

“I know, love” Sirius said, wiping away your tears and hugging you to him.

“Hey” you heard Remus walking down the stairs with someone in his arms. You pulled away from Sirius and walked over to them.

“Good morning, my love” you said, taking the toddler from Remus’ arms.

“Mummy” she smiled brightly at you as you kissed her cheek.

Sirius felt like his heart was going to explode. He had no idea how he could love you even more. Or how he could love someone at first sight. And there you were, holding the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his entire life. She was the other way than Harry. She looked just like you, but she had his deep grey eyes.

“Sweetheart, I’d like you to meet someone” you told her as you walked back over to Sirius. “Sirius, this is Lyra” you said, as Sirius felt his entire heart melting when Lyra smiled shyly at him. “Can you say, hi, honey?” you asked as she waved her little hand at Sirius.

“H-hi” she said, resting her head on your shoulder.

“Hi, Lyra” Sirius said, as new tears rolled down his cheeks. “You are so beautiful” he smiled.

“Uncle Moony says I look like mum” she said.

“You do” Sirius nodded. “You’re just as beautiful as her” he smiled.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“I made this for Uncle Padfoot, do you think he’ll like it?” Harry asked you, showing the new drawing of him with Sirius.

It had been a few weeks since Sirius was back and each day, both kids were getting more attached to him. He was basically Harry’s new favorite person, and you couldn’t blame him. Harry spent the entire day asking him questions about James, playing Quidditch, and Sirius basically doing whatever he wanted, and spoiling him with gifts.

And then, there was Lyra. at first, she was a bit shy but it wasn’t long before she started warming up to him. Every single time Sirius appeared in a room, you saw your daughter’s face lighting up just as much as his did. She followed him everywhere. She cried whenever Sirius had to leave again because he was still staying with Remus since he said he didn’t want to turn your life upside down or the kids’ lives for that matter by him being back.

And it was no secret that Sirius was instantly wrapped around Lyra’s little finger. You could tell he loved Harry as much as you did. He was practically becoming his best friend and he loved spending time with him. But Lyra had brought something out in Sirius that you had never seen before. Which is why, you wanted to ask him to move in with the three of you. Firstly, because he was practically living here already. He came in before the kids woke up and he left when they were tucked in. Mostly so Lyra wouldn’t cry when he left. But also because you had missed him so much, and now he was back. And you wanted him back. With you.

“I’m sure he’ll love it, sweetheart” you said, kissing Harry’s head as he and Lyra had breakfast on the kitchen counter.

“Are you going to marry Uncle Padfoot?” he suddenly asked, making you choke on the coffee you were drinking.

“W-what?”

“I asked Uncle Moony if you and Uncle Padfoot were married but he said no” he said, casually. “I think you two should be married” he shrugged.

“Why do you think that, love?” you asked, as you fed Lyra.

“Because you’re my godmother and he’s my godfather” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“W-well, I’ll… think about that” you smiled. “But… how would you guys feel if um- uncle Padfoot comes stay with us?”

“You mean live here?” Harry asked, excitedly.

“Yes” you nodded.

“With us?”

“Yes” you repeated.

“Where would he stay?” he asked, curiously.

“Um, well… he would stay with me” you explained.

“So, you are getting married?”

“I don’t know, Harry, I mean, I would have to ask him first” you chuckled.

“Uncle Moony said he asked you” he replied.

“What? Stop talking to your Uncle Moony!” you complained.

“Uncle Moony” Lyra repeated, smiling.

“Look, I will talk to Sirius today and I will ask him if he’d like to live with us” you explained. “So, I wanted to know what you guys think about it” you smiled.

“Really?”

“Yes, because we are a team. And you two are the most important people in my life” you said, poking each on their noses. “So… what do you think?”

“We love Uncle Padfoot!” Harry insisted. “Right, Lyra?”

“Yes!” she smiled, looking up at him.

“Okay, then. I guess I’m going to have to ask Uncle Padfoot” you smiled, nervously.

“Ask Uncle Padfoot what?” you heard Sirius walking in on the back door. “You monkeys are already up?” he said, messing Harry’s hair with his hand and picking up Lyra from her chair, kissing her cheek.

“Aunt Bambi wants to ask you to marry her so you can come live with us!” Harry said, excitedly.

“Harry!” you widened your eyes, feeling your cheeks burning instantly.

“W-what?” Sirius asked, looking at you.

“We want you to mawy mummy” Lyra repeated.

“Okay, that’s enough” you said, taking her from Sirius and placing her back on her seat. “Um, Sirius, could I see you in the other room for a moment?”

“Sure. Lead the way, Bambi” he smirked.

“Bambi” Lyra giggled.

“So, what’s this I hear about you wanting to marry me and move in with you?”

“Shut up, Black, and stop looking at me like that!”

“Oh, it’s Black now” he smirked. “I see you’re really riled up, Potter” he chuckled.

“Look, I just… wanted to ask you…” you started, avoiding his eyes. You knew he was enjoying this.

“Yes?”

“Well, I was thinking about the possibility of you… moving in with us?”

“That’s not what your kids said” he smiled.

“First of all, they’re your kids too” you glared at him. “And secondly, it’s only because Harry asked if we were going to get married” you explained.

“Really?”

“Yes, he thinks we should because you’re his godfather and I’m his godmother” you told him.

“Kid’s got a point” he said.

“Sirius! I’m not joking!”

“Neither am I” he said, dropping his smile and looking at you.

“What?”

“I don’t see why we shouldn’t get married” he shrugged. “I asked you before. You said yes” he reminded you.

“That was three years ago. A lot has changed since then-”

“Well, my feelings for you, haven’t” he clarified. “Have yours?”

“No, of course not!”

“I’m not saying we have to do it right away” he told you, smiling sweetly. “I’m just saying… if you’d ask… I’d say yes” he said.

“You think I’m going to ask you?”

“Why not? I asked you last time! It’s only fair, love!” he mocked you as you crossed your arms in front of your chest with a raised eyebrow. “You know, I forgot how cute you looked when you were mad” he said, pulling you closer. “I’m not going anywhere, love” he said, cupping your cheek with his hand. “You are the love of my life. You always have been. And you, Harry, and Lyra are the only thing that matters to me” he continued. “And Moony, if he asks” he said, making you chuckle. “Look, I’ve missed three years already and I don’t want to miss another second” he said, making you smile. “So, I will ask you, however you want me to, whenever you want me to, as many times as you’d like me to, my love” he said, wrapping his arms around your waist and you gave him a peck on the lips.

“I love you” you said, smiling.

“I love you too” he said, kissing you again. “You wanna go tell the kids?”

“Yeah, might as well” you said, kissing his cheek and pulling him towards the kitchen where the two of you saw Harry helping Lyra get down from her seat. Sirius felt you stop at the entrance and he grabbed your hand. He noticed the look on your face. In the past weeks, he noticed you getting that look whenever Harry was with Lyra.

“Harry’s a really good big brother” he said, kissing the side of your head.

“Yeah” you smiled. “He doesn’t just look like James” you said, resting your head on his shoulder.

“He’d be really proud of you, you know that, right? So, would Evans” he told you. “They picked right” he smiled.

“Yeah” you said, kissing his cheek. “They did” you told him.

The End

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A/N: I hope you loves liked it! and I hope this keeps rolling xD I have a few 9-1-1 imagines coming up, and also Stranger Things, and/or Remus, James hopefully!

tags: @twilightlover2007 , @hisparentsgallerryy

#marauders #marauders imagine #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black oneshot

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pigdemonart · 1 year

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Battle Subway Depot Agents (by pig-demon)

When I made designs for these guys last year I didn’t really think they needed colored references/master post, but since then I’ve drawn them a lot! Also people have added them to their fanfics and drawn fanart! So I figured it was time I made a post for easy ref. :]

These designs are obviously free to use, just give credit (and link me your work if you're comfortable, because it makes me happy to see!) All I request is to stay respectful to their pronouns and skin colors, ya knooow… 👍 note: The pokemon on their cards are all companions, not the ones they use on the Battle Subway. Except Jackie...the litwicks are just there to fill space/give them company.

More info under cut:

Edit: Important disclaimer:

These are again my designs/interpretations for the agents. Please don’t treat them as canon or as the only, quintessential designs for these literal background npcs. Many people have done takes on them before and after me, even back in 2010. It feels silly to ask, but due to past experience, I ask that you please DONT hunt down anyone that does a different take on the depot agents!! 👍

Tags:

I'm gonna start tagging them individually, but for now all Depot Agent comics and art on this blog are tagged under Depot Agents.

Height chart:

I’m not too strict about heights, so I don’t really care about actual measurements. Here’s an approximation of what I tend to visualize though:

Sexualities/Gender Identities: I don't have official labels for each and every agent because I like keeping things fluid for characters to develop these traits on their own. However, as a queer person, I enjoy designing characters who are also queer, therefore I can safely say none of these characters are straight. The ones who are set in stone are Ramses (gay man), Cloud (lesbian woman,) Jackie (non-binary.) Furze uses he/they pronouns but their gender is undetermined. I also welcome anyone giving the agents a different gender identity to suit them (as long as it's done respectfully.)

Notes about each agent...

Cameron:

- Cameron dyes parts of his hair blonde and keeps other parts in black. This is because he is a big fan of Elesa and her fashion choices. - Though there have been a few occasions to meet his idol, he is always way too nervous to approach her, feeling deep down that he'll mess up somehow. - He practices modeling poses in secret. He loves flourishes and flare, but is simply too insecure to put it on display. - Of his coworkers, he gets along the best with Furze. He's the easiest to talk to because Furze will do most of the talking. - Cameron is easily intimidated — even mean Pokémon can make him nervous. Though, his two worst fears are being left in a room alone with Jackie, and being left alone in a room with Isadore. - He takes advantage of his height to sometimes hide behind some of his coworkers. - Cameron is much better at Pokémon battles than he gives himself credit for. Emmet and Ingo were pleasantly surprised by this, since Cameron was promoted to fit a temporary role on the Battle Subway. They happily made him a permanent member when he proved himself capable. - His Dwebble (Pebby) is secretly very strong, and rushes to protect Cameron when it can. Cam sometimes thinks Pebby helps him feel more confident in himself too. - If he stumbled into any of his coworkers outside of work, he would simply explode of embarrassment. - He is the youngest child and only son of his family. He lives in his own apartment in Nimbasa.

Cloud:

- Cloud (like Ramses) knew the twins when they were very young. - She used to be an ace trainer in her youth, even going so far to compete in the Pokémon league. Winning and becoming the champ was the most important part of her journey, but something happened along the way that changed that outlook. - It seems with age, her competitiveness has mellowed out. However, she maintains an intense energy when battling. - Her favorite types are Psychic and Flying types. Swoobat (Sweetie) is her ace. - Her favorite hobby is baking, and she often bakes sweets for the crew. She knows all their favorite flavors by now! - She prioritizes keeping a friendly relationship with all her coworkers and thinks of them fondly. She considers Ramses family after all the years of working together! - She is a big fan of Brycen's movies and can recite the lines. - She lives with her wife in Anville. - Cloud loves doing maintenance work both at home and in Gear Station. She enjoys bringing her own tools and industrial flashlight.

Furze:

- Furze only has one volume setting (mid loud,) but he finds himself feeling right at home when talking to either one of the twins. - Furze has ADHD, and this is reflected in some of his habits, most visibly is his fidgeting when sitting still for too long. - He rides a bike to work every day. When he is late, Cloud clocks in for him so he doesn't get in trouble. - This is a kind of a guy that sits crouched gargoyle style on chairs. Only outside of work, of course. Bad posture could get him in trouble. - While working on the Battle Subway, there will be times Furze feels sorry for his opponents and offers to quietly let them pass anyways. This...has also gotten him in trouble. :[ - He went to the same elementary school as Isadore in Castelia. Though Isadore seems to have forgotten their short-lived acquaintance, Furze has not. This is part of the reason Furze claims they are in fact good friends!!! - Furze is the middle child of a big family. He lives with his mom and takes care of her, along with his many Darumakas and Darmanitan. All of his Pokemon have famous trains names. - He collects model trains. Naturally.

Isadore

- Isadore had plans to become the station master the moment he was hired as a depot agent, but alas... (sad trumpet sound.) - As a youth, he was more interested in science and engineering over Pokemon battles. He enjoys the strategizing aspect, at most. Not so much the competitiveness. - In addition, his Pokemon are all rescues and not used for battling. He's had his Watchog (Winston) since he was in his late teens. - His Electrode (Gregor) and Voltorb (Leonard) were rescued from the likes of Team Plasma. - Isadore admits he understands Pokemon better than humans. This has been apparent his whole life. - In spite of acting like a sitcom villain, Isadore cares about the management of Gear Station and the safety of the passengers to an incredible degree. He sees it as a personal life goal to assist in the management of Gear Station, as well as the success of the Battle Subway. - Though it pained him to become a subordinate to the twins, he begrudgingly accepts it for the greater good. - His almost militant efficiency certainly made up for his years of antagonizing the twins before they became the bosses. Ingo and Emmet understand this better than anyone. - Isadore keeps tabs on all of the staff members. So he very well knows all their birthdays and makes it a point to celebrate it. This is by no means a -happy- or -festive- event. It's just customary. - Like Furze, he was originally from Castelia, but now resides in Nimbasa. Isadore's only family is his mom and she lives in his childhood home with their Stoutland. - Isadore would have probably been voiced by every glasses guy ever J. Michael Tatum had he not already been cast as dear Emmet lmao

Jackie

- Jackie is a mystery and they like keeping it that way. When they talk, it's practically impossible to determine what is a lie or truth, especially if the subject is themselves or their background. - They love scaring Cameron the most and will ask to be paired with him whenever possible. They claim Cameron is their "favorite coworker," while Isadore is the least favorite. - It's plain to see why -- Jackie is the only one that doesn't passively tolerate Isadore's tirades. - Though my comics sometimes may allude to Jackie being a ghost/supernatural, this is not confirmed nor canon. I just personally enjoy toying with the concept. : ) That being said...

- Item #: SCP 7453

- Object Class: Euclid

- Special Containment Procedures: The ████ ██████ is ██████ within ████-██████. - Ingo and Emmet choose to not question anything about Jackie, since it's clear they're one of the more efficient workers. However it can be a safety concern... - Cloud and Ramses have worked with Jackie for a long time, though they've forgotten somehow. They believe Jackie is a new hire since they appear to be young. - Anyone trying to make sense of Jackie's employee records simply can't bring themselves to any conclusions. It's better to ignore the inconsistencies. - Jackie has never been seen to leave Gear Station. Jackie has never been seen in anything but their uniform. Jackie has never been confirmed to eat, drink or blink. Jackie knows your secrets. Jackie thinks it's... amusing.

Ramses

- Ramses sometimes misses having a full head of hair, but he thinks his signs of age make him look distinguished. (he is correct.) - Ramses is sort of the "mom friend," making sure everyone's concerns are heard, as well as trying to keep the peace whenever a conflict might arise. - If another coworker is feeling low, Ramses will try to cheer them up with a lighthearted joke or offer advice if they'd like it. - When the twins were promoted to bosses of the Battle Subway, Ramses cried because he felt so proud. - In most circumstances, he is a very simple and logical man. He is quick to find solutions and tries not to fret over the little stuff. It's not good for his heart after all. - His ace is his Pikachu (Musa,) though the mouse is more of a lap pet now. At home, he also has an Audino (Sara) and a Manectric (Nubi) who keep Ramses' husband company. His Klinklang (Moli) is the only one of his personal pokemon that accompany him to work nowadays. - Ramses considers Cloud family. They are best friends and love having family gatherings outside of work. They also gossip a lot, and don't mind when Jackie decides to join. - Ramses jokes about looking forward to retirement, but really doesn't want to leave until he is physically incapable of working anymore. Gear Station is like a second home to him.

In-Game Quotes

The most important reference of all are their in-game quotes, of course, so I'm adding it to the post. A lot of their personality traits can be extracted and interpreted from these few lines. And I personally love that about Pokemon NPCs -- there's a lot of room to explore and play with. Some appear very obvious. Cameron practically announces that he isn't ready for the battle that's about to ensue and seems genuinely surprised to win. Furze comes out the gate talking about the subject they actually care about, which is their job and their love for trains. The two of them are very easy to understand. Now, Ramses lines allude to a gentle and simple personality. He views himself with humility, and maybe even with a bit of humor comparing himself to a train and to his opponent to a station. If he loses he shows no signs of disappointment, he just accepts defeat with one last honest quip. It s also amusing to see the Depot Agents all use train metaphors to describe themselves since it falls in line with how Ingo and Emmet talk.

In comparison, Cloud does the same thing calling herself the terminal instead. Immediately, she is way more daring, though still keeping a sense of professionalism. To me, it's obvious she is competitive as she even admits she was expecting to win ("Ah...I didn't see it coming.") Jackie's lines are fun since it's up to interpretation if they are being literal or lying. It's almost like they are more interested in confusing/creeping out their opponent than actually beating them. To me, it gives off a mischievous vibe. Isadore's opener "There are only two roads in life." is a curious one because it almost feels like he is trying to be philosophical. Definitely a guy who views himself as an intellectual, regardless if that’s true or not. I like to think it's a saying he really believes in, and it applies to his life. The road he likes (long route) vs the road he hates (shortcut) -- fighting tooth and nail to become boss vs biting his tongue and accepting Ingo and Emmet as the Subway Masters.

Those are just my thoughts on how I write these characters. Please have fun playing with these lines too!

#depot agents #depot agents master post #my art #submas #submas adjacent ahaha #will probably edit as time goes on but who knows really #if you spot any typos no you dont kiss kiss #cameron #cloud #furze #isadore #jackie #ramses

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babyjakes · 5 months

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〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | harness

pairing | daddy!dom!ari levinson x little!sub!reader

warnings | ddlg and dom/sub dynamics (daddy dom!ari and little sub!reader.) me not knowing anything about handiwork lol. reader struggles to ride. size kink. minimal foreplay (pussy rubbing, nipple play.) reference to rope play. p in v sex, protection unspecified. riding (with help lol.) safeword reminder. mostly sweet praise and encouragement, a little bit of mocking/humiliation tho (he calls reader a whore once.) they come together :D!!! orgasm from penetration. he comes inside. soft sweet reassurance/beginning of aftercare at the end.

word count | 1,284

an | kind of scared that people might not like this one, but i've had this fantasy for soooo long lol i just had to finally put it out there. something about a big beefy daddy laying back and casually tugging at a rope (WITH BIG ARM BC. I LOVE ARM) as he pleases to fuck his pretty little baby up and down along his cock, ,, it gets to me 🤤 also if you're confused by the logistics of the harness, i made diagrams 😭

thinking about daddy dom ari with his sweet little subby baby who has a hard time riding him (understandably!!)

you're such a good girl, you try so so hard but it's just too much 🥺 you get up there and he's soo huge you can barely take all of him. and even if you do manage to lower yourself all the way down onto his massive length, then you have to find some way to move yourself up and down along him?? poor baby, it's just too difficult 😔

so daddy comes up with a brilliant idea, he's gonna install some very special hardware in the bedroom to help with your little problem

he makes an entire day of it. mapping out the blueprint in a notebook, checking to make sure there's a sturdy ceiling beam overhead, researching the best parts to buy on his laptop as you lay comfortably at his side, snuggling into him

the harness itself he orders online, custom-made for your measurements. you're curious and ask to see, but he wants it to be a surprise. he makes a list of the rest of the parts and takes you with him to the hardware store. you get to ride in the cart as he's picking everything out 🥺

"you excited, baby?" he asks on the way home as you hum along softly to the radio. he's smiling as you nod sweetly, reaching over to brush back your hair. "gonna make sure everything's right for my little girl," he promises. "just gotta be a little patient when we get home, sweetheart. you can watch daddy work if you want"

you're a little intimidated when you see it starting to come together. he installs the eye hook as the system's anchor in the ceiling and puts together the pulley system with the sturdy rope he bought. he sees your wide eyes and comes over to kiss your forehead, promising, "don't worry, baby. it'll all be safe. daddy's making sure of it"

a few days later, the harness arrives in the mail. he brings you to the bedroom and has you undress, helping you into it. it's not too bulky or uncomfortable, but sturdy enough to be safe. your heart melts as you see the baby pink and white accents he chose. "so pretty, daddy!" you cheer as he undresses himself and climbs up to lay in the center of your shared bed

he gets you sitting up on his thighs, facing him. your poor pussy leaks excitedly as your legs are spread by the wide straps wrapped around your upper thighs. "you wanna play with daddy a little, baby?" he prompts as he softly begins to run his fingers over your bare mound

you take his big cock in your hands, teasing gently at it as he works your clit in circles for a bit with his thumb to warm you up. with the other hand, he's adjusting the ropes to make sure they're all untangled and ready for when he wants to strap you in for your first ride 🤠

his dick and your cunt are both twitching in anticipation. ari can see you eyeing the contraption a bit warily. "you're okay, baby," he hums as he brings a hand up to pinch and tweak at one of your nipples, making you whimper. the harness is conveniently designed similarly to a lot of your daddy's rope work, tightening around the breasts and thighs to keep you prone and in place

he waits for some of the apprehension to leave your face. finally asking, "you ready, sweetheart? you gonna let daddy setb you up in your pretty new harness?" your eager nodding is all the convincing it takes

he buckles you in with the safety-grade carabiners, giving the rope a gentle tug as a test. it jerks you up slightly, bouncing you on his legs. he gives you a wide, nearly greedy smile "okay baby, let's get you up on daddy's dick"

he tugs again, helping you up a bit into the air (though your legs are still resting some on the bed below) and moves you over with the other hand to position you over his hardened length. all you have to do is sit in the pretty gear and let your daddy do as he pleases. he positions his tip at your dripping entrance, gently easing you down onto him as he loosens the tension on the rope little by little. you let out such a sweet moan as you're filled to the brim, your eyes rolling back slightly in delight 😍

"shit, princess," ari takes a moment to adjust to your tiny little pussy swallowing him up. he tightens his grip on the rope, his voice low and rumbly, "you gonna be a good girl and let daddy fuck you now? that's it baby, just let daddy do the work"

he tries to go easy to start but part of him can't help it; he's been waiting for this moment for so long. he gives you a few pumps up and down on him at a gentle pace, but the feeling of you bouncing like that so effortlessly and the sight of your mouth falling open as your sweet little cries intensify quickly cause him to start acting with abandon

the system works so well, it looks like it's straight out of a porno. ari lays back, groaning deeply as he jerks at the rope at whatever pace he pleases. the way his arm looks when he flexes is so 😮‍💨each tug bounces your perfect form against him, your poor insides aching in pleasure as he rams right up against your ceiling

"d-... d-... daddy!" you sob, your little hands flailing a bit as you grow increasingly overwhelmed by his forceful pace

his eyes flash with a hint of satisfaction at your adorable undoing. "c'mon baby, you can take it. remember your word," he reminds you as he uses his free hand to gather both of your wrists and secure them tightly behind your back. you're left completely helpless, nothing but a living, breathing toy for your daddy to use

"d-daddy, it's s-so much... 'm gonna..." he's grinning wider as he sees your impending orgasm; it's rare for you to come from penetration alone

"oh are you, sweetheart? are you gonna be a good little whore and come for daddy? such a dirty girl, getting off on daddy fucking you like this"

"mmmhhh.... d-daddy!!" you're squealing as you squeeze down on his slippery cock. the sight of you coming like this nearly sends him over the edge, he quickens his pace, tugging more forcefully at the rope to bounce your poor little pussy over him faster

"fuck, baby. daddy's gonna come," he growls, tightening his grip on your wrists as his face contorts with concentration. "you want me to fill you up, princess? want daddy to come in that sweet baby cunt of yours?"

"y-yes please, daddy! please, please fill me up! please, want your come!!"

he lets go of the rope just in time, letting you slam down against him as he hits his peak. he grabs your waist to hold you firmly in place as his seed shoots up into you, your walls fluttering in sync with his dick's throbbing

when you both start to come down, you slump forward onto your big daddy bear 😮‍💨he's rubbing your back, whispering so sweetly in your ear, "good girl, so good for me, baby. so proud'a you, did so well. i'm here, sweet girl. daddy's here"

hmmm yeah i don't even care if no one else is into this, this is MY dream scenario let me have it 😭😭

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convolutedblasphemy · 3 months

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What I mean when I say we're too nice to allos is that everytime I see aphobia, ace erasure, a complete disregard for our boundaries around sex & romance and hostility towards the fact that some of us need filters, tags and accomodations, there's aces and aros in the comments trying to appeal to the expectations of allos and seem likable to them. It's like people are subconsciously attempting to prove they're "one of the good ones". "I'm aro/ace but don't worry, I'm sex/romance-favorable and I'm not like the ones where you need to watch what you say so they don't get uncomfortable and I'll validate your lifestyle whenever I can."

And I don't fault them for it, it's an easy trap to fall into when you consider how shitty the alienation you have to deal with from allos already is, especially if you're sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed. You're already being excluded enough and it's easy to feel like every post you make about your experiences and struggles needs a sex-positivity disclaimer or an "aces / aros can have sex & date!!!" disclaimer so people will lower their pitchforks around you and acknowledge you're not trying to threaten the way other people live out their sexuality & relationships. It's easy to believe you're taking up too much space by wanting your boundaries to be respected in friend groups and public spaces that are supposed to be inclusive. I've been there.

But you're not and you deserve to feel comfortable as long as you respect the rules that other people put on their spaces. You deserve to be respected and you deserve to have your identity be respected. And you deserve to be mad when people repeatedly walk all over you and your struggles. And you don't have to get into a de-escalation mindset every time they do. You have nothing to prove. You have nothing to justify. You have nothing to apologize for just because you're aro/ace. And they're not gonna take us seriously if we keep acting like we do.

#asexual #asexuality #aroace #aromantic #aro #ace #sex repulsed #sex favorable #ace community #aphobia

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reds-skull · 1 month

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Fanfic Recommendations: Writers

I thought of making this kind of list for a while now, since in my notes I save writers when I like most/all their fics (instead of saving each work individually)

This list is going to be very long, I'm gonna try to add to each writer a little description of the type of work they usually write.

Should leave this as a disclaimer for all my fic rec posts, but always look at the tags and CW on each fic before reading!

As always, if a link doesn't work, you're welcome to reach out!

[This list will include both SFW and NSFW writers, since a lot of them do both]

thirteenbullets - Writer of Anytime You Need Me, basically the ultimate hurt/comfort series. [fun fact, part 6 was the first fic I read in this fandom, and I partially blame how good it was for how fast I got obsessed with cod lol]

mothbeast - Writer of Pattern Breaker, one of the more well known fics for ghostsoap (for a good reason!). Love their other fics as well [some are NSFW]

glaciers (Hayfever_Street) - Non AU fics, where they put ghost and soap and various situations for angst! [some NSFW]

Red_Clegane - non AU and AU fics, some of the best non-military AUs I've read. All of their fics share a similar taste, but they're all equally good, so if you like that style you'll enjoy most of them [some NSFW]

sauceboss_yahoo - AUs with supernatural elements, and non-military AUs. Some a/b/o if that's your style [which obviously means there's some NSFW]

yourvaliants - AO3 account of valiants on Tumblr, I'll expand more when I get to Tumblr users, but this is just their place to post NSFW comics since Tumblr doesn't allow that.

wayfaredsoldier - non-military AUs, AUs with supernatural elements, and in canon universe [some NSFW]

MildLimerence - If you want smut with good plot, this is the writer for you haha. They have several soulmate AUs and fantasy/supernatural AUs, as well as canon universe [mostly NSFW]

Arodana - supernatural AUs and non-military AUs, very enjoyable long works [some NSFW]

crown_twist - a mix of NSFW and hurt/comfort oneshots, if you're in the mood for something short and good this is the writer for you [some NSFW]

ElizaStyx - mostly oneshots for a variety of pairings, a mix of NSFW and fluff [some NSFW]

Sillililli - Canon and non-military AUs, with just a pinch of NSFW [little NSFW]

Louffox - Canon and non-military AUs, a lot of angst and hurt/comfort. A few longer works and a good amount of oneshots [some NSFW]

kcisbroken [previously artbykc0001] - Historical AUs, sometimes MCD, some non AU oneshots and NSFW [some NSFW]

Hochseeperle - non AUs, angst and hurt/comfort, with NSFW [some NSFW]

eggtimelads - Supernatural AUs, non AUs, oneshots that literally changed my brain chemistry (not clickbait) [some NSFW]

blackbird_flyaway - supernatural and non AUs, recently started a zombie AU (that I just discovered and go read it after finishing this lmao) [Some NSFW]

TheLastTheosaurus - hurt/comfort oneshots. Good ol' reliable [no NSFW]

Nuria123 - absolutely amazing non AU, non-military AUs, and fics so emotional they made me full on sob. A mix of oneshots and longer works [some NSFW]

AvaLoren - non-military, non AU, and a little bit of fantasy, and medieval AUs, mostly oneshots with some longer fics [some NSFW]

WhisperedWords12 - non-military, non AU, and a little bit of fun shifter AU, many oneshots that are mostly NSFW [a lot of NSFW]

Wheezing_Joe - non AU, oneshots with some onehsot series, hurt/comfort and angst galore. Very nice stuff [no NSFW]

coderaven - non-military AUs and non AUs, emotional hurt/comfort, a little supernatural AUs [some NSFW]

oh_ellie - non AUs, hurt/comfort, and a whole lot of smut [mostly NSFW]

headlocket - author of all that's said in the low light. I don't need to say anything else, if you didn't read it yet, you really REALLY should! [little NSFW]

Grangers_apprentice - [note: majority of works locked for users with no AO3 accounts] non-AU, supernatural AUs, some oneshots and some longer works with series. A bit of a/b/o if that's your style [some NSFW]

DarkMoonMaiden - non AU, hurt/comfort and smut. Mostly oneshot, some series [mostly NSFW]

merikai - non AU and non-military AUs, hurt/comfort and angst oneshots [no NSFW]

simcoehole - supernatural but military and non AUs, mostly smut [mostly NSFW]

Epifauna - non AU oneshots, a lot of fluff with some angst [little NSFW]

prettyunhinged - non AU oneshots (some as long as multi chapter works though), angst, fluff and smut [some NSFW]

oshikiri_toru - non-military and non AUs, with some supernatural elements. Very long oneshots with angst and smut. Very underrated writer imo! [some NSFW]

xEclipse - non AU, fluff and smut oneshots that can get very sweet [some NSFW]

unravelledorfrayed - non AU, misunderstanding hurt/comfort (the good kind) [no NSFW]

lkst - very unique AUs, as well as non AUs. A bit of smut and a lot of angst [little NSFW]

now, there are some blogs here that write a lot of little drabbles that are always a treat to read, so I'm also gonna add some of them.

cod-dump - mostly non AU, with the exception of the Teen!Ghost AU.

forestshadow-wolf - AU and non-AU, also has many downloaded fics for you to read (they're a lifesaver when AO3 is down)

valiants - as mentioned above, comic artist and occasional writer, honestly a huge inspiration for me, it terms of storytelling and art style.

ghcstao3 - also has an AO3, wanted to put them here because they post a lot of drabbles here that don't get posted on AO3.

captain-mj - also has an AO3, like ghcst posts a lot of fics here that don't get posted on AO3. Many are NSFW, as a heads-up.

That's all for now, in the future if I make fic recs for longer works, you will probably see some from these writers.

#call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #fic recs #not art #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #i put links for blog bc i didnt want to tag everyone #doing this instead of uni work bc i really dont feel like doing it :DDD

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restinslices · 6 months

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If Kuai Liang Was A Sub

This has been sitting on my docs and for whatever reason, I didn’t post it. Anyway imma make the same disclaimer I did for Bi-Han’s part. I am a virgin. I get zero bitches. Absolutely zero play. Take everything I say with a grain of salt and if you think it’s inaccurate then damn. Idk. Minors MOOOOVEEE.

I feel like unlike Bi-Han, he'd be way more accepting of his role. Bi-Han is like, "sub? could never be me!", and Kuai Liang is like "yeah, absolutely"

I could see foreplay being his thing. To him, what adds up to sex is just as important as sex.

Honestly I think he'd see all parts of sex as equally important. The leading up to, the actual act, and the aftercare.

Remember when I said Bi-Han pissed you off on purpose because he enjoyed punishments? I don't think Kuai Liang would be like that.

Don't get me wrong, he could do stupid shit at times or break rules but I feel like it'd legit be on accident.

Like you'd tell him he can't touch you as you ride him, but he'd completely forget that and do it anyway.

Your pleasure to him would be the most important. If he doesn't cum, it's a bummer. But you not cumming? Absolutely not.

He moans loudly and gasps. idk why I get this vibe, but I do.

He's also shameless. I feel like if someone was like "I heard you having sex last night", Bi-Han would be confrontational. Tomas would be embarrassed. Kuai Liang would apologize but would turn around and ask you to fuck him harder this time.

Because let's bffr, what is anyone gonna do to him?

He'd be into being tied up by his own ropes. It'll be all he could think of when he's using them in other situations and honestly? Gets him determined to return home to you.

Kinks I'd think he'd have would be restraints, overstimulation, roleplay, orgasm control, praise and/or degradation (idk if he'd like one over the other. pick whichever you like), and dare I say a knife kink?

Obviously don't fucking stab him but some threatening? He's into it.

He loves making you feel good and loves when you use him to make yourself feel good

Adding onto that, idk why but he's giving "ride me in my sleep" energy. consensually of course, this would obviously be something discussed.

I can't put my finger on why, but I just really feel like he'd enjoy waking up to you using him. Maybe he enjoys the thought that you constantly want him. Once again though, this would be something discussed beforehand. Don't just try this shit at home. This would require lots of talks, boundaries, knowing when it'd be ok, shit like that. imma say it again, do not randomly try this shit.

A punishment I think he'd hate is not being able to touch you. He'd be away a lot on Liu Kang's orders, so when you're together he wants to touch you so he remembers it when he's away. When you're having sex, he especially wants to touch you. So you saying "no" would be hard for him

I know we're mainly talking about sex but I think it'd be more than that for him. I'm not saying you control everything he does but this man is probably stressed out all the time. He has two brothers who have constant beef (which is one sided fr), he's probably still missing his dad, he's constantly risking his life for others, and life just has a lot of bullshit going on.

Serving Earthrealm means he's always doing stuff for other people. So sometimes he likes when you're the one choosing what he'll do for the day because he knows you'll pick stuff that would benefit him. Does that make sense?

Like, non sexually you may say “hey I want you to go take a long bath, then put some clothes on. I already have the water and your clothes ready”. Shit like that. Don't get it misconstrued, you're not becoming his mom. You're just taking more of a leadership role, which he appreciates.

Sexually though, it'd tie into orgasm control. You'd tell him what to do, where to touch, when to stop, where to look, etc. He knows whatever you're having him do is to make him feel good. To put himself first, which he has a hard time doing.

I'm not saying y'all don't have straight “I'm tryna fuck” type of sex, but I think he'd enjoy some soft stuff occasionally. Helps him relax.

As for aftercare I think unlike Bi-Han, he'd enjoy talking after. Especially depending on what was going on.

Softer sex probably results in cuddling then talking about whatever. Something more intense would include a breather, checking in, then whatever else he needs. Sometimes it's a bath immediately, sometimes it's playing with his hair to bring him back down.

Sometimes it's you reminding him that he's doing his best. Sex can be a good way to relieve tension, but it's not a permanent fix. You like to remind him that he's a good person and sometimes bad shit happens to good people. Just a nice deep chat.

He gives me “I'm tryna find my wife” at the club vibes, idk. is that outta line?😭

He's not as soft as Tomas but he's not as hardheaded as Bi-Han. He's a nice in between.

Y’all already know Tomas is next. Stay tuned

#Kuai Liang #kuai liang x reader #kuai liang x y/n #kuai liang mk1 #kuai liang scorpion #kuai liang smut #scorpion smut #sub kuai liang #sub character #sub scorpion #Ngl he’s my favorite #mk1 smut #mortal kombat smut

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errihaienx · 1 year

Note

Hello, I love everything you wrote. :) Can I request a hq captains being asked by their wife to not look while getting change. I saw a tiktok about it and I found it cute, thank youuu.<3

hi! Thank you very much for loving my work! I genuinely appreciate it! I really liked this concept, but I'm not sure whether what I accomplished was to your liking,let me know if so! Thank you very much! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

(I loved the idea, so as soon as I saw yours in my requests, I began working on it! I basically abandoned what I was writing at the time lol. My personal fave was Terushima's part ♡ cryin' coz i want them so bad )

HQ CAPTAINS : being asked by their wife not to peek when changing ♡

(REQ !)

(post-time skip , aged up characters)

quick disclaimer: these scenarios don't affect the original plot of the series. any information or events that contradict the original plot are purely fictional. (i do not own any of the characters) (I did not proofread this)

warning: mentions of masochism , contains numerous of cuss/inappropriate words , could be suggestive

ꜰᴇᴀᴛᴜʀɪɴɢ: ʙᴏᴋᴜᴛᴏ, ᴜꜱʜɪᴊɪᴍᴀ, ᴋᴜʀᴏᴏ, ᴏɪᴋᴀᴡᴀ, ᴋɪᴛᴀ, ᴅᴀɪᴄʜɪ, & ᴛᴇʀᴜꜱʜɪᴍᴀ

Due to his professional athlete schedule, your husband regularly arrives home at a late hour. Nevertheless, this time you were the one who arrived home later than usual, and he kissed you right away.

"I missed you baby"

"Oh I missed you more, I need to change my clothes. Love, prepare dinner for us." you replied

He hurriedly went to the kitchen and got some eggs, then thought to himself, "If I fry them now, they'll be done fast." When he looked at his dish waiting to get done - he immediately rushed to your bedroom to kiss and hug you. He missed you so much!

You yelled as you heard his staggering footsteps.

"Bokuto Kōtarō I'm changing my clothes, you better not look!"

"'m not looking! i don't plan to!" he answered

You continued taking off your clothes until you reached your husband's huge shirt, that you were ready to put on when you felt large hands snatching it.

"Honey not that! I'm gonna wear that tomorrow!"

"Didn't i told you not to look?" you questioned him

"B-but"

You ignored him when you smelled a burnt food.

"What's that smell?"

"Shoot! the eggs!"

Your husband rushed to the kitchen and began shouting.

"Hun, you can wear my shirt I don't mind!"

Before yelling back, you rolled your eyes and wore his shirt.

"Don't worry, I don't mind eating perfectly cooked eggs," you said emphasizing the term "perfectly" because you know he botched up cooking again.

"Perfectly toasted hell yeah!"

Your exhausted husband is lying down on your king-sized bed, eyes closed, resting after a long day.

"Dear?" you called for him

He replied with a low accented 'I'm here,' and you found him on your bed.

"Are you not going to eat?" your sweet voice sounded like heaven to his ears, and he nodded.

"Just after game, we had dinner. Have you eaten yet?"

"I did," you lied, you're actually waiting for him. But since you're not hungry, you opted to just claim you did eat.

He opened his eyes and gave you a little smile that made you smile back, and you sighed and stood up, remembering all of the chores you still had to do.

"Just rest, 'toshi. i know you're tired.."

You planted a delicate kiss on his forehead, and he reached for your face, demanding another kiss immediately then.

You smiled as you walked to your closet to change into your nightgown. Forget the housework, you need to be in your husband's arms.

"Always so stunning my dearest.."

You stopped taking off your clothing as you stared at your husband, who was laying comfortably on the bed.

"H-hey, don't look!" you managed to say in hushed tones.

He chuckled and sat up gently, reaching for your clothing on the floor and folded them.

"How can you even look majestic with or without clothes-"

You didn't have the strength to listen to what he was saying any longer, so you aggressively covered your ears.

He smiled, his fatigue dissipating. You were always his safe haven, his anchor, and his soul mate.

"I apologize for peeping," he added quietly.

You nodded, still embarrassed about what had happened.

"I love you"

Tetsurō always treats you well. He'll always ensure that he brings you presents when he gets back home. Regardless of the fact that you have already told him that he is wasting money, he will continue to give you gifts.

"You're squandering a lot of money, Tetsu."

"So? I earned em anyways."

"You really need a finance manager, should I hire one to assist you hmm?" you suggest sweetly.

"Yeah sure, whatever comes into that lovely head of yours," he yielded, kissing your cheek, then your lips tenderly.

He planted butterfly kisses on your neck as his greed grew before tenderly caressing your beautiful face, which he believes was beautifully sculpted by the Gods.

"Now put on what I gave you, wear em for me."

There's no way you could say no when he's cheekily leaning toward you. You felt a warm spell hitting your face. You've been married to him for over two years, but it appears that your eight-year relationship hasn't quite prepared you for his seduction.

"W-will do, don't you dare look!"

Taking the paper bags, you quickly made your way outside to get dressed.

It hasn't even been a minute before you heard your walk-in closet door slam shut.

"Hey, I said don't look!" you shouted

"Babe, I bought those to see you wear them."

"Yeah, and I came here to take off my clothes and wear what you purchased so you could see them, so go out now and wait for me to finish," you said, covering your exposed body.

"I want to see you wear them because I get to see you naked," he stated coolly.

You furrowed your brows and gave him a death gaze.

"What? I've seen it all— Hey, babe, why did you turn out the lights?!?"

Tōru isn't shameless about peeking when you're changing, he even stops whatever he's doing just to look at you when you're changing. You scolded him about this countless times but his reply was always the same

"I'm your husband! I saw everything under those damned-not-so-gorgeous clothes!" he snaps back at you.

You raised a brow and he rolled his eyes — what the actual fuck?!

"Look at your attitude Oikawa?! What a child! You are just too immature for your own good!"

He rolled on the bed before making this disgusting expression at you to annoy you even more.

"What do you mean by Oikawa?! There are two of them here!"

You're doing your best not to throw some of his clothes on his beautiful — but bothersome face right now, and his replies aren't making it any easier.

"Then I am talking about the pervert one"

"Oh so you're talking about yourself?" he scowled

He's going to say something stupid again when a large amount of his clothes flies over his face.

"Get out of here Oikawa Tōru! I can't keep up with your childishness" you growled

He immediately rushed to you and apologized, kissed, and hugged you. That made your butterflies in your stomach go wild, but you're outraged right now, and he's not getting away with it.

"Can you not throw me out, beautiful? please, i won't peek again.." he kissed you again

No that's not gonna work, of course not!

"Wel..uh - maybe.. you can.. just sleep on the couch"

Your husband grinned, and of course, he peeked again after a few days.

Shinsuke isn't the type to purposely look when you're changing, or so you thought..

"Shinnnn don't look, i'm changing!"

You hid your face behind your hands, embarrassed that you couldn't face him.

"You look breathtakingly beautiful my love.."

That made you blush so much that you forgot about him looking at you while you were changing. Shinsuke Kita's every word has always been about you, admiring and appreciating his wife.

"I'm sorry for staring, but I just.. can't believe that you think you're not 'beautiful enough' when you make me question every day how I ever managed to deserve you."

His words caused your heart to race at a rate only your husband can.

"I love you.." you whispered

"And I love you more"

"Move, I'm gonna change my clothes. And don't loook"

Still staring at you, he lifted his brow. Daichi is the ideal combination of a playful and sensible husband.

He knows when he can continue to be playful, and he's a real tease. He also knows when he's about to cross the line, and he's aware right now that you don't literally mean what you said. Maybe you do, but he thinks your relationship has already beyond the 'don't look because I'm changing and you can't see my body' stage because you're literally his wonderful wife, plus you were his fiancée for a year and his girlfriend for 7 years.

"Seriously, I need you to turn around because I'm going to change," you stated coldly.

He immediately turned his back on you. He realized you were serious this time, anxiously clasping his hands together, and he's now questioning his actions a while ago.

"You can now look"

"Alright, Uh, Umm - Earlier I.."

he stutters so you cocked your head and gave him a questioning look

"Sorry"

"Mmkay, kiss me love.." you stated enticingly

He smirked and walked right up to you.

You were just changing in the comfort room when Yūji's abrupt knocking interrupted you. telling you how badly he needs to pee.

you opened the door and asked him not to look since you were changing.

you were about to finish until you heard him whistling.

"What the fuck?! I told you not to look!" you smacked his arm.

He washed his hands after fixing his boxers and gently shook your shoulders.

"Dang you're a real damn hot stuff, can't believe i wifed you up"

You smacked his ass, and he groaned in response.

"Hell baby, stop, do you even have a smacking kink-"

He caught your fist when you punched his arm, kissing it afterward.

"Wifey you're into masochism huh?"

That was your final straw, you threw some frantic punches at him, which he easily avoided while cackling.

"Jackass, you need to work on your personality!"

He simply gave you a lovely grin and kissed your shoulders before fixing the strap of your garment and kissing you again.

"Such a simp.." you whispered, easily melted by his actions

"Very much"

SORRY FOR NOT POSTING FOR THE LAST FOUR DAYS, I AM CURRENTLY WRITING 5 DRAFTS LMAOOOOO. THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING MY BLOG/PAGE! I'M PREPARING SOMETHING FOR YOU GUYS! •ᴗ•♡

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miracledarling · 1 year

Text

why every method works

[ small rant + my experience in loa community ]

💙notes: this was supposed to be a very old post i started writing weeks ago but it never got published so i added more stuff into it later

disclaimer: when i talk about my own experience and perspective, i am not forcing any of my opinions onto you. find what works for you, literally the point of this post is to provide that reassurance

📖table of contents . . .

① it does work, duh ② rant about overconsumption ③ my personal experience ④ what i've learned ⑤ the bottom line

i have explained basically similar things in other places that i am covering on this post so don't be too surprised

1 2 3 4 5

but i've already had this in my drafts for too long so i had to put this out there at some point . . .

it DOES work, duh

as a beginner in loa, i would be drowned by my logical mind. even before i got into loa, i was listening to subliminals. and i would constantly be asking myself: "is this gonna work?" "am i doing this right?" if i paused a subliminal halfway through, i would get so anxious. asking myself "do i have to rewind the subliminal all over again?" then, after reading solar subs guide, i was introduced to loa and the concept of manifesting. but ofc i had trouble believing in subliminals in the very beginning and at that point i was just feeling that i was wasting my time. on all this "spirituality" but months later, after seeing small successes one after another, i realized the law may hold some truth after all. ofc i was still skeptical, and always questioning myself, but i've gotten quite a lot of manifestations it was a bit good to be true right?

as for the loa community, theres been debate in this community time and time again, trends come and go. if youve been on loatwt u know how toxic that affirm vs states debate got, and it's still coming back every week. sometimes people will push one method and put down another, or feel discouraged when the method that is trending isn't the one that resonates with them.

i've seen some limiting beliefs being spread around here and there but what i've learned is that there are NO rules when it comes to manifesting. when it comes to the law of assumption, the law of assumption is LITERALLY the law of ASSUMPTION. like literally. it's like not only is the world made of atoms, it's literally made of assumptions. everything is an assumption. EVERYTHING.

and one important thing i realized is there are absolutely NO RULES. NOTHING IS TRUE UNLESS YOU ASSUME IT IS.

only what you persistently assume will be true, will be facts.

i mean, sure i heard a lot of ppl say things like "_____ doesnt work "

sigh. that's just a personal belief? bc rlly, anything can work depending on ur assumption. from now on, whatever ur doing, it WORKS and it's WORKING (and can you stop telling urself that it didn't work or u fail, u CANNOT fail). no literally please stop searching for reasons you've failed. you're just persisting in the assumption that you've failed. the more you search for it, the more your outer reality is going to show you evidence that you're failing. right at your face.

what you could do is you can create the assumption that everything always works out for you. and no, u do not need to rewatch the youtube vid, reread that success story, reread the post, nope. it works, it's working. ur doing it right. believe it or not it works !! ofc it works. it does work, duh. u can't fail. the law is always working. and it's working in your favor.

a rant about overconsumption

now some people may overthink everything. and i get it. i recommend just staying away from all the loa info you can find.

yes i know i've been reposting many posts but the reason i'm going to take a little break from doing that is for my own good and for everyone else's. because i feel that retrieving all these old posts will make you more prone to overconsumption(and take up some of my own time and energy) and it's not my job lol.

like most of us are constantly saying the same answer to all your asks and in our posts, only adding out own views and experiences. seriously, you don't need to read any more posts at this point. it's the same thing with personal opinions added to it. to be honest, it you're someone who is new or overthinks a lot, scrolling through tumblr may do more harm than good. you're just getting fed a ton of different opinions of different bloggers regarding the same topic-loa, and seeing disagreements cause confusion. i know that the states vs a&p discourse confused the shit out of me. i was overconsuming and overthinking without applying. big mistake. i'm happy i learned to create my own rules now.

there's something i realized: is there even a point for consuming loa content?

i mean it's the law of assumption. like literally assumptions that you persist in manifest. so why do you need to know more than that? as i said earlier, why do you need to look for a reason that you've failed. stop excusing that. you didn't fail. you didn't fail at all. you just chose to go back to the old story and you decided to accept that instead of accepting the new one. you declined the new story.

imagine if you attend a party where you needed to pick ONE dress to wear. you're currently wearing a pink one but you want to wear the blue one. well then wear the blue one. put the pink one away and put on the blue one. so simple right?

now back to what i was talking about. there is literally no need for you to look for more loa information at this point. there is zero reason to do that. because you know what the law is. just by the title it's the law of assumption, so literally just assume and persist in that assumption. that's it.

99.9% of blog posts are just repeating the same thing to you. but with their opinions added. i don't know how many times i'm going to have to say this but it's the truth.

keep this in mind: an assumption persisted in hardens into fact. now you see most posts always somewhere says something along the lines of:

"dwell/think from your desired state" "dwell in 4d/imagination" "think as if you have it already" "persist/stick to the new story" "don't waver/go back and forth, just stick to the new story" "affirm and persist until your mind is saturated with the new story" "repetition reprograms your mind, creating new assumption" "change your mindset to fit the new assumption" "just know and persist in the knowing" "be consistent and consistently thinking from the new story" "maintain a mental diet to stick to new story" "just decide and stick to it"

in the end, they all imply and result the same thing.

new state = new mindset = new story = 4d = assumption that you have it already

so persisting in any of these means you're persisting in the new assumption.

in the end, all of the methods you ever used for loa are just to get you to persist in the new assumption. and persisting in that causes it to harden into fact.

now, why do people ask questions, consume new information, use methods, etc?

well actually i think it's okay to do so, and makes sense especially if you're someone who is new to the law. the thing is, the law is just extremely simple. to the point where people just start to complicate it. people literally have to ask "how to persist" "how to accept" "how to fullfill" "how to intend" and that shows it's being complicated way too much. when law assumption is just assumptions become reality.

but it now that i look back, it actually makes sense why people would overthink something so simple, or create new methods, word things differently, and such.

if i were a beginner and i wanted to know how to manifest and someone tells me "oh, easy. just assume, just decide you have it" it probably wouldn't be too helpful. because now i would wonder how to decide. or more, i would wonder "so...is that it? that's all" i mean who would even think it's true at first sight. and especially as a beginner i would probably check the 3d right after and be unhappy because i "decided" but nothing changed. and doubt the law.

which is where methods come to play. if just assuming/accepting is too far to grasp, methods and challenges help people apply the law. since it's broken down step by step. like SATs for example, getting into a drowsy state, repeating a scene until feeling the wish fullfilled. that is easy to understand and follow.

but of course methods are never required. and for those in disbelief of the law, i always tell you to test the law for yourself, apply, and stop overconsuming/overthinking. because overconsuming really does more harm than good in my opinion. because all these loa content are talking about the same thing in general, but just with our personal experience and opinions added to it, it can really make people confused. remember the whole states vs affirming debate. so if someone has all these opinions being thrown at them, of course they will have no idea who to listen to or what to follow.

this is why it's so important to find what works for you. literally start applying as much as you can. it's like an experiment. find your own way of manifesting that you personally enjoy/like. if you are ever going to consume info, only take what resonates and leave what doesn't. manifesting is not one size fits all. if someone has limiting beliefs, stop taking it in like a sponge. girl you are a human not a sponge.

now that you know that everything surrounding loa basically implies the same thing, i hope you release some of that stress and anxiousness when consuming loa content. or simply consume less content.

my personal experience

since i've been such a skeptic in the past, i would constantly be switching methods, hopping from this to that. when i watch one youtube and then watch another with different opinions, i would feel like this is such bs.

so let me give an example. i've seen people say that robotic affirming "doesnt work" when i've manifested most, if not almost all of my desires purely through robotically looping affirmations in my head. because I ASSUME it works, duh. if u assume it doesn't work, it won't. easy as that. like you can assume it takes 1 repetition, 10 repetitions, 10k repetitions. it depends on ur ASSUMPTIONS. its the law of assumption. i've also seen people say that you need to go through a "transition period" which is a huge myth. i've never experienced one in my life.

see? literally it boils down to ur assumptions. even for me, i had to find my own way out of here, rather than consuming other people's info.

what i've learned

okay i was hesitant to write this part because people might take it the wrong way, and defeats the whole purpose of this post. this isn't directed towards anyone lol. rather, see this as a reminder that you do what you want, not what anyone else says. gotta recognize yourself as the creator.

there's literally no wrong way. what works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. but this is only what I learned so feel free to skip this part if you're not interested in hearing my experiences

now, this is what i discovered about myself, just to show that everyone has their own way of manifesting and no wrong or right

i'll admit i am more of an affirming girly and i probably always will be. i'm going to be an affirm + persist girly for life but it's not like it will be the only way to manifest. i respect whatever you do and i love the fact manifesting is different for everyone. in no way will i purposefully force my own opinions onto anyone because whether you like states or affirming or whatever it's completely fine.

and literally i still apply states as well. although i don't really ever considered myself a "state girly," i've known about states for a long time before it became popularized. i remember learning about states and to me, it was the whole package. it did help me in the sense that i could just identify with what i wanted easily. so i will always apply it when i manifest alongside affirming. in other words, i actually apply both.

but on contrary to what works for others, affirming was an easy and straightforward way to get what i want. rewiring the brain through and such made more sense to me especially as a logical person who was skeptical since day one. and whats more is that the reason i found out about loa is through subliminals and i learned more about loa through youtubers, such as sammy ingram. so i was used to affirming the whole time. and it worked for me. however, you do not have to "follow" this if it does not resonate with you

although i understand states better now, and i do believe they are what manifests i still always use affirming and persisting as my main way to manifest since it's always worked for me.

however, if anyone ever ask me how to manifest something, i would always try to tell you to do what works for you. and always do what you resonates with and don't let others opinions guide you. you don't have to repeatedly affirm if you don't want. if you have better way, thats alright, apply it. most important is applying and persist in it rather than overconsumption.

the reason i always share so many posts with you is to help you gain some insight. like i've reblogged tons of posts on my sideblog and even organized them. i've found some old ones that have helped me. but please don't aggressively read and reread all of them. like honey that's overconsumption. no need to do that. skim through one of them and then delete the app. and start applying. and you will be surprised how fast it manifested.

so the void, states, self concept, whatever the trend was...all those things didn't resonate with me as much. heck i didn't even know what was the void until early january which meant 8 months after i already started to manifest for myself

but this just shows that no matter what the hype is, you should stick to what works for you. stop letting others dictate you. just test the law and trust yourself. do it your way.

the bottom line

i don't care how you like to manifest. i seriously don't and in fact, after you read this post, i'd like you get off your phone and test the law to find whats works for you. it doesn't matter works for me. it doesn't matter what other blogger say, it doesn't matter. all that matters is what works for you.

MANIFESTING IS NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL(i remember sammy ingram even said this in one of her videos lmao) like i don't care if u do affirming, states, or void. it doesnt matter at all. never mattered and never will. just do what u like, darling.

people succeeded with states. people succeeded with affirming. you know what they all had in common? they applied the law.

i have my rules and my beliefs. other bloggers have their rules and their beliefs. many of us have our own limiting beliefs. its all depending on out assumptions. nobody makes ur rules. only you.

yes, even neville, who has very valuable teachings, still does has his own beliefs. like i don't resonate with his ideas of "appointed hour" or "bridge of incidents" but some people do.

and remember when people used to push the "time lag" or the "transition period " well guess what, those are ASSUMPTIONS. its all assumptions.

stop letting people tell you what works and what doesnt. you decide.

in the end, it doesn't matter if u do states, affirming, whatever. it depends on ur assumptions.

stop limiting urself, and do what works for u 💓

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i-literally-cant-with-this · 1 month

Text

I put up a little survey but no one answered it. How dare you all go on living your lives when I'm posting important things like whether or not I should post this all at once or break it up. So, this is YOUR fault it's been released as a whole ;).

A/N ::: NOT EVEN GONNA FUCKING LIE this was about 15 pages on Google Docs. BUT IN MY DEFENSE I have been working on this for 3 days. And if I'd been left alone like I wanted to be, I'd have not carried on and on like this. So, blame everyone around me that insists on interrupting me while I'm tryin' to write this story that wasn't supposed to be this damn long. ANY-DAMN-WAY. I hope someone out there reads this, despite it being the size of a damn Steinbeck piece of lit.

Disclaimer ::: This is NOT literature.

Seriously, please ... someone enjoy this.

C/W ::: Chifuyu x F.reader x Baji, cheating, sneaking around and sex.

WC ::: 4,765 (I'M SO SORRY. FR THIS TIME)

MDNI under the cut please and thank you.

When Chifuyu introduced you to the man he looked up to - his mentor - his hero, you didn't really think much of it at first. It didn't register how he stopped breathing when he shook your hand and said hello. How his eyes blew out, fully black. Lacking the subtlety of a man who wasn't your lover.

You weren't anything special. At least, you didn't think you were. Chifuyu introduced you as "the most pretty girl he's ever laid eyes on" and Baji couldn't deny that was the loudest truth he's ever heard. He'd never been so jealous of anyone as he is right now. But what could he do about it? Take you away from the man who was like a little brother to him?

He didn't want to. But he couldn't help how he felt when he was around you. He couldn't help how his mouth went dry when you said "Hi, Baj'! How are you today? Lovin' the hair as usual!" And you would wink at him thinking you looked like a total dork and then you'd skitter off to find Chifuyu.

It was easy to fall for you. Especially when you were so sweet, always asking how his day was, making him laugh, smiling that pretty smile at him. His heart was yours. But he knew yours belonged to Chifuyu. And it was getting to a point where he had trouble being around you two at the same time. He wasn't angry or anything. But his heart hurt.

It'd beat out of his chest whenever you'd sit down next to him on the couch or in the back seat of the car. He started to not come around as much.

And one day, you went over there to find Chifuyu because Mikey said that he was at Baji's place and it'd be fine if you popped over to get him.

So, you did just that. Except Chifuyu wasn't there. It was just Keisuke. And he was sitting on his bed with a book in his hand and a sad look in his eyes.

He seemed surprised to see you when you approached his room.

"Hey, Baj'," you said softly, "I'm sorry for coming over without calling first but I don't have your number." You leaned against his doorway with your hand on your hip. Smiling that goddamn smile of yours at him like you have absolutely no idea how he feels.

He shook his head. "It's okay. Chifuyu isn't here so if you were looking for him … you’re outta luck."

"Oh. Do you know where he is?"

"Nope. I don't think he's coming back here anytime soon either."

"Ah," you said, "so we're both out of luck."

Baji swallowed hard. "Yeah, ok. Well, bye, I guess. It was nice seeing you."

You smiled again. "Oh! O-ok, Baj'. Maybe I'll ... see you … I’ll see you ‘round."

He only had the strength to say "yeah, maybe" as you walked out of his room and out of his place. Because if he opened his mouth the only words that were going to come out were "I love you, y/n. Please give me a chance. I feel like I'm going to explode every time I'm in the same room with you and I don't get to touch your soft skin."

But he didn't say that. He couldn't. And he spent the rest of his night alone, wishing he had someone to hold him. Someone to tell him everything was going to be okay. Someone who loved him as much as he loved you. Someone who loved him as much as you loved Chifuyu.

You eventually tracked Chifuyu down and you told him about how sad Baji seemed tonight.

"Do you think I should go talk to him?" He asked.

"No," you replied. "I don't think he's in the mood to talk. He seemed really sad, though. He looked like he wanted to cry."

"Should we just leave him alone?"

"Yeah, I think so. But let's check on him tomorrow. Maybe he'll be more up to talking then."

"Ok. I hope so."

You didn't mean to, but you caught a glimpse of Chifuyu's face before he turned away. It was like he knew something. Like he knew that Baji had a crush on you. And maybe he did. Baji wasn't subtle at all. He was obvious and open and loud about his feelings. He wore them on his sleeve. And Chifuyu is the type to notice things. Especially about someone he already paid such close attention to. But none of this could be helped. Not really.

So, you left it alone.

A few weeks later, all the boys came over to hang out. And you sat down next to Baji on the couch like you usually did and you leaned your head on his shoulder. He tensed up and then relaxed. And you heard him sniffle a bit.

"Baj'? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, voice breaking.

"You're crying."

He turned his face away from you and wiped his eyes. "Sorry, y/n. It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Hey, I'm your friend. I worry about you. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just ... just … stupid shit. Ok? I don't wanna talk about it."

You nodded and patted his knee. "Ok, well, I'm here if you need me." And you got up and walked down the hallway to your room to grab a sweatshirt.

What you didn't know is that Baji got up and followed you. And when you turned around, he was standing there. He reached out and grabbed your hand. And he brought it up to his mouth and kissed it.

"B-Baji?"

"I'm sorry, y/n. I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"I can't ... I can't sit here and watch you and Chifuyu be all lovey dovey. It's fucking with my head, ok? I don't want to feel this way but I do and it's killing me inside. I've tried to stop it. I've tried everything and nothing works."

You pulled your hand back. "What are you … Baji? I don't understand."

"I'm saying that I like you, ok? And I don't know how to stop."

"I understand that but why the fuck are you telling me this now? Jesus, Baj'." You sat down on your bed, folding the sweatshirt up on your lap and holding it close to your chest.

Baji sat down next to you and put his hand on your arm. "I know it's stupid and I know you and Chifuyu are happy together. But I need you to know. I need you to know how much you mean to me. How much I wish it was me instead of him."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You didn't know Baji felt this way. You didn't think he ever looked at you like that. And you didn't know what to say. You were speechless.

"I'm sorry, y/n," he said again, "I'm sorry I fucked everything up. I'll go."

But before he could get up, you grabbed his wrist. "Wait," you said. "Don't go."

He turned back to you, face red and impossibly handsome. How had you never seen this before? How completely fucking beautiful he is. And how could you have missed the way he looked at you?

"I'm … sorry, Baj'. I'm sorry I never knew."

"It's not your fault, y/n. I don't blame you for anything. You can't help how you feel."

You nodded.

"What does that mean? Why are you nodding?"

You took his hand and held it in yours. "I don't know." The look in your eyes made him feel something he hadn't felt in so long. And he couldn't help but process that as some fresh new hell. Some new hurt. But still, he was stupidly hopeful.

Even though he didn't want to. He didn't want to think that maybe you could be his. But the way you looked at him right then gave him the tiniest bit of hope that maybe it was possible.

"Y/n? Babe? Where're ya at?" You pulled your hand from Baji's and put them on your lap.

"Sh-shit!" Baji said. "We're in here, Chifuyu. The bedroom." He said as casually as he could muster.

"Tryin' steal my girl, asshole?" Chifuyu laughed half-heartedly.

Baji did not. "Nah, man. Just talking. Catching up."

"Yeah. Ok. Well, Mikey says time to go."

"Shit, already? It's only been an hour."

"Yeah, he wants us all at his place. So, we should go. Don't wanna keep the boss waiting."

"Right. Ok, let's go." Baji got up and walked past Chifuyu without looking him in the eyes. "See ya around, y/n."

"Bye, Baj’-i. Baji." you said. You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what to do.

Baji left and Chifuyu looked at you with a frown. "What's wrong, babe?"

"Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing."

"It's nothing, really. Baji was just telling me about some ... something. No biggie. So you're leaving?" You got up and hugged him, trying not to think about the few minutes you and Baji had alone in your room. Holding hands on your bed.

Chifuyu hugged you back. "Yeah, sorry. Mikey says it's important. So, I gotta go. But I'll be back in the morning. Promise."

"Ok, well, I'll talk to you later, yeah? Be safe, Chi." You kissed him and he kissed you back like it was as easy to do as breathing and that broke you down a little bit more than you had anticipated.

What the hell is happening, you wondered. No, you knew what was happening. What is happening. And it was bad. It was so fucking bad. Because you couldn't stop thinking about Baji and his sweet face and his sad eyes. And how it would be nice to hold him and kiss him and make him feel better.

But that was insane. Wasn't it? You loved Chifuyu. You didn't want to be with anyone else. But then why did you feel this way? Why did you want to call Baji and tell him you felt the same?

You didn't know what to do. You were lost. And it was getting harder to pretend you were okay. Especially when you were around Baji. Especially especially when you were around Baji and Chifuyu at the same time.

So, you got into your bed and you texted Chifuyu a good night and a "miss you already" and you waited for him to text you his usual good night text.

It wasn't long and your phone vibrated. You smiled and picked it up next to you on the bed. Picking it up, you were anticipating what cute little thing Chifuyu was going to say to you.

Your smile only grew more wide when you saw it wasn't Chifuyu who'd texted you.

It was Baji.

"What you doin', y/n?" He asked.

"Hi Baj'. I'm in bed. What you doin'?"

"Same. Just wanted to say g'night."

"Oh, ok. Well, thanks. G'night, Baji. Sweet dreams, yeah?"

"Gonna try and dream about you. And you can't stop me so don't come over here and try to or anything dumb like that, y/n. Got it?"

You surprised yourself: not only with how hard you laughed but that you were up and out of your bed before you knew what happened. Throwing on some leggings and a hoodie and heading out the front door.

Apparently, heading to Baji's place.

"Jesus Christ," he laughed when he opened the door. "Did you sprint here? You're a fucking mess."

"Yeah? Thanks! Anyway, I did run here. And I'm here, aren't I? You're not the only one who can't sleep." Your breathing started to level out after a minute or two of standing there with him.

He couldn't deny that he was missing how your chest heaved when your breathing was heavy. Even behind the baggy sweatshirt. He was missing the way your eyes sparkled in the dark. The way your hair looked messy and adorable. He was missing everything about you.

Until you got there, that is.

"Come in," he said, "make yourself at home."

"Thank you. So, what's up? Why can't you sleep?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. Just thinking too much."

"About?"

He rolled his eyes. "You know about what."

You nodded. "I do. And I think we need to talk about it, yeah? It's getting weird."

Baji swallowed and nodded. "Yeah. You're making things really awkward, y/n. I don't know how much more I can take - going on like this. You're a real pain in my ass."

You gasped, exaggerating hurt feelings and pushed him over on the living room couch. You climbed on top of him before you even knew what was happening.

And though you were only intending to tickle him and make him suffer in the most innocent way, it quickly evolved into something neither one of you had any business exploring with one another.

You felt his hands on your hips and his lips on yours before you had time to process it. And you had no idea what was going on.

You didn't know what to do.

But you knew you didn't want to stop. You didn't want to stop him.

"B-Baji," you said, pulling back just a bit. "Ffffuck! Baj'! Wh-what the hell!"

"I don't know," he said, "I just ... I couldn't help it."

"Yeah, well … neither can I. But we have to stop. We can't do this. We can't do this to Chifuyu! Fuck, man!"

You pulled back and jumped off him. And you started pacing around the living room.

"We can't do this, Baj'. We can't do this to him. We can't."

Baji got up and grabbed your waist, spinning you around to face him. He pulled you flush against the front of his body and kissed you again.

Harder this time.

With more purpose.

And you didn't have the strength to push him away.

You gave in.

Because you wanted to feel him. You wanted to be touched by him and you wanted to touch him. And you couldn't help yourself.

But you knew it was wrong. You knew it was bad.

"Baj'," you said, "we can't. We can't do this." You said between breaths and smashing your lips against his. You had your hands twisted and tangled up in his long, dark hair. Pulling on it as though it would get you even closer to him than you already were.

But it wouldn't.

It couldn't.

And you knew that. You both knew that.

But you couldn't stop. And it didn't matter that you had no idea what was going to happen after tonight.

All you could focus on is what was happening right now.

And right now, you were kissing Baji like it was the last thing you were ever going to do. Like he was the last person you were ever going to touch. Like he was the one who mattered the most.

Like you were never going to be the same again.

Because you weren't.

And you knew you weren't.

So, you did the only thing you could do in this situation:

You said fuck it and kept kissing him.

You said fuck it to what you and Chifuyu had.

You said fuck it to your morals. Fuck it to your conscience. Fuck it all.

Nothing had ever felt so right.

Not in a long time.

Not since you started dating Chifuyu.

And that's when you knew. You knew it was never going to be over, this thing that was blooming between you and Baji.

And you weren't sure what you were going to do about that.

So, you let Baji kiss you and hold you and make love to you that night. You let him because you needed it. You needed him.

And you knew that no matter what happened, it was never going to be the same.

Because you couldn't live without Baji.

Not anymore.

Not now that you'd seen him and touched him and loved him.

No, it wasn't going to be the same. Not ever.

And you were okay with that.

You were okay with it because you knew that it was always supposed to be like this.

Baji was always supposed to be yours.

And you were always supposed to be his.

You were always supposed to be together.

And it felt like the universe was finally putting everything back where it was always supposed to be.

You were complete.

And you had no idea what that meant or what it was going to lead to.

A couple of weeks after this started, Chifuyu asked you to go out with him and Baji. He said it wasn't going to be anything special. Not a date, though, just the three of you going out for dinner, maybe drinks.

You said yes.

Because you couldn't say no.

And Baji couldn't either.

You couldn't look at Chifuyu because you felt so bad.

But you had to.

You had to look at him.

You wanted to tell him.

You wanted to tell him everything.

You wanted to tell him how you felt.

You wanted to tell him how you were feeling about Baji. About him. About you and Chifuyu's relationship as it stood now. About you and Baji's relationship. That shouldn't even exist.

But it did.It does.

And you weren't sure how to explain that.

You weren't sure how to tell him that you'd fallen in love with his best friend.

You weren't sure how to tell him that you were fucking said best friend and that it wasn't just sex.

It was love.

It was so much more than anything you’d ever experienced.

So, you sat there.

You sat there next to Chifuyu, holding his hand.

And you sat there across from Baji, your feet touching under the table at the booth. Your eyes staring back at the other's for longer than should have been acceptable.

"I'm gonna go grab some water," Chifuyu said, "you guys want anything else?"

"Nah, I'm good," Baji said.

"Me too," you said.

He nodded and walked over to the counter.

And Baji leaned forward. "We can't do this, y/n. We can't keep this up. I can't keep going like this. I can't keep sitting across from you and pretending like I don't want to rip your fucking clothes off and eat your pussy for the next 4 hours. That I don't want to fuck you stupid. I'm fucking getting hard right now just talking about it, y/n! Fuck."

"I know. I know, Baj'. This is killing me. I feel like I'm going to explode."

"What are we going to do? I can't lose you. And I won't lose Chifuyu. He's my best friend. But you're my, goddamn it y/n ... you're my soulmate."

"I … what?"

He nodded. "Yeah. And I know that sounds crazy and stupid but it's the truth. We were made for each other. I feel it. Do you feel it?"

"I , Baj'. I do. But we can't keep this up. We can't do this to Chifuyu."

Neither of you noticed him walk up to the table. "Do what to me? What are you guys goin' on about?"

Baji and you looked at each other. "Nothing," you said.

"You were talkin' about me, weren't you? Did you guys have a fight or something? Is that why you're over here whispering and shit?"

"N-no!" Baji said. "No, we didn't have a fight or anything like that. We were just talking, man. Just talking."

Chifuyu didn't seem to believe him. He squinted his eyes at the two of you and then shrugged. "Ok. Whatever. Anyway, here's your water. What do you guys want to eat?"

You didn't know. You didn't know what you wanted to eat. You didn't know if you wanted to eat. Ever again. All you could think about is how much this was going to hurt Chifuyu. And how much it was going to hurt Baji. And you.

But you had no choice.

You had to tell him.

You had to tell Chifuyu.

And you couldn't put it off any longer.

"Chi, Baj' has something he wants to tell you!" you yelled out so loudly the whole restaurant stopped whatever they were doing to stare at the disruptive girl.

"The FUCK, y/n!" Baji yelled back at you. "What the fuck are you doing?!" He hissed at you.

You shrugged. "I can't do this anymore, Baj'. I can't keep hiding it. I can't keep lying. It's not fair to him."

"You're gonna fucking do it now?"

You nodded.

And Chifuyu looked between the two of you. "What the hell is going on? What are you guys hiding?"

"I ... um ... we ... we've been sleeping together," Baji said, hanging his head.

"You fucking what?" Chifuyu looked at you. "You've been fucking my best friend? Behind my back? Are you fucking kidding me, y/n? You're fucking kidding me. This isn't funny. This isn't funny at all."

"I'm sorry, Chi. I didn't mean for this to happen. It just did. It's not like we planned it or anything. It just happened."

"Yeah, it just happened! That's real fucking convenient. You just accidentally fell onto his dick. Real fucking nice, y/n. I can't believe you. I can't believe either of you. You know what? Fuck this shit. You guys deserve each other. I hope you're happy together." Chifuyu threw his napkin down on the table and stormed out of the restaurant.

Leaving you and Baji at the table and everyone in there staring at you again.

You got up and started to chase after Chifuyu. Baji just sat there, taking a sip of his drink. "Fuckin' shit," he said, "this was a bad idea."

You found Chifuyu outside, sitting on a bench next to the entrance of the restaurant. "H-hey," you said, sitting down next to him.

"Leave me alone, y/n. I don't want to talk to you."

"I know. I'm sorry, ok? I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Chi. You know that, right? You know I would never want to hurt you on purpose."

"Yeah, well, you did. You did hurt me. And you have been hurting me for weeks."

"Chi, you have to under- wait, what did you just say? You've known about this? Chi!"

"Yeah, I fucking knew about it. I'm not an idiot. I could tell you guys had something going on. And I let it go because I thought it was nothing. I thought it was a crush or something. I thought I could trust you BOTH to do the right thing here. Instead, you've been fucking each other - behind my back, for weeks and NOT telling me how you felt. You know, the worst part is, I'm not even that surprised. Baji is great. You're great. It was inevitable that you two would find your way into each other's arms. I mean, come on, now. You'd have to be fucking blind to not want to be with either of you."

"I'm so sorry, Chi." You had tears running down your face. But you weren't sure why you were crying. It was all just a lot to process. Chifuyu's reaction, Baji's lack of reaction. All of it.

"It's fine. I'm not mad at you, y/n. I'm mad at Baji. And I'm mad at myself for not seeing this coming. For not stopping it before it went too far. For being in love with you when you're clearly in love with him."

You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what to do. So, you just sat there.

And you let Chifuyu talk.

"I think I knew it was happening before it did. I tried to ignore it. I tried to pretend like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. And it still is."

"I'm so sorry, Chi. I … honest to God never ... ever never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did. And I can't forgive you for that. I don't know if I ever will. And we can't be together anymore. Not now."

"I understand." You had to choke out those words. They were getting caught in your throat as you tried not to sob.

"Fuck. Don't cry, y/n. We can still be friends. I mean, I don't hate you or anything. I'll just never trust you with anything important. Ever again. Like, ever."

"I know. I know, Chi. I get it."

He nodded. "Ok. Well, I'm gonna go. You should go back in there and talk to Baji. Tell him what happened. He deserves to know how badly he fucked up."

"Y- … I will."

"Good. Take care, y/n. And tell him I said good luck with you. That he's dating a whore, liar and cheater. Tell him I said to have fun with that."

You forced yourself to laugh. You knew Chifuyu well enough to know he didn't mean everything he just said to you. Maybe ⅔’s of it. Though you wouldn't bet money on which ⅔’s he was referring to.

Walking back to the restaurant you saw Baji sitting at the table. His shoulders slumped down and his head hung over the table.

"Hey," you said, sitting down across from him.

"What happened? Did you find Chifuyu?"

"Yeah. He was outside. He left"

"Oh. Ok."

"He knows, Baj'. He knew all along."

"Fuck, y/n! Why didn't you tell me that? You should have told me that. Jesus Christ, man! That changes everything."

"I didn't know he knew! Stop yelling at me! You're just as responsible for this shit as I am! Maybe more!"

"Yeah, ok. Whatever. It's done. Let's just go home."

"What? Home? Where is home?"

"You know where it is. My place. You know, the place you've been fucking me every night for the past 2 weeks. The place where you've been sleeping with me and lying to my best friend. Yeah, that home. You remember that one, right?"

"Yeah, I'm familiar." You scowled at him.

"Ok, good." He stood from the table and walked toward the exit, not waiting for you.

You followed him out, running to catch up. You walked next to him in silence, the tension thick in the air around you.

Neither of you had any idea what was going to happen next.

You didn't know if you were going to be together. after this. If you should be together after this.

And you didn't know what to do about it.

So, you did the only thing you could: You kept walking until you got to Baji's house.

And when you got there, you went inside.

Because you didn't want to think about anything else.

The emptiness you felt in the fresh absence of Chifuyu was so painful that you wanted to escape this reality. And the only way to do that was to let yourself be whisked away by Baji in the little fantasy world the two of you had created a couple of weeks ago in his room.

He pulled you down onto the bed and rest his hand on the curve of your waist and he put his forehead against yours.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Sorry?" You whispered back to him. All the while, thinking about his lips and the rest of him and how it was all yours for the taking now. You could have him in his entirety.

You didn't know what you were going to do with that.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for all this. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you. I knew better."

"Baj'. You're not the only one who fell here. I love you too. So hard and so fast. I don't know what the fuck happened."

He kissed your mouth, his lips just grazing yours. It sent a jolt down your spine. You know that kiss. You know what it means. The look in his eyes. On his face. You'd become well acquainted with Baji's everything over the last few weeks.

Except now, it didn't hurt to acknowledge it. That you liked it. That you sat around, fantasizing about it when you weren't together. And that you thought about him more than you wanted to admit to yourself.

You wrapped your hand around the back of his head and held him tightly by the hair, pulling him on top of you. He pushed into you, grinding his hips against yours as he kissed you with a ferocity that you couldn't deny.

You were never going to be the same after tonight.

Not ever.

Not after Baji.

@kazutora-kurokawa @katkusuo @viburnt @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82

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spicyvampire · 2 months

Text

Okay so after the whole Sakuna/Wansarut and Phaya/Tharn "characters description" fighter (protector)/healer+protector(mediator) post, now imma talk about about our resident Snake (PhD), Doctor Chalothorn being a fighter and well how do you convince a fighter to not fight?

I've already made a whole gifset about this but I needed to put the stuff into words cuz u just can't say everything in a gifset so this post is gonna be about a few things, first of all, the way Charlothorn's goals shifted in the last 2 episodes, from wanting to kill Phaya so he can have Tharn, to wanting to save Tharn and Phaya's end not really mattering anymore, and second of all Tharn's role in this shift and where have we saw something similar to this shift before aka Wansarut and Sakuna and how Wansarut even did that

Same disclaimer as the last one applies : pulling this out of my ass from watching the show, these are raw out-of-order thoughts, ill try my best to separate but like the last post because I'm going to have to go back and forth between Wansarut (love of my life, talking about Wansarut has to be my favorite activity rn), Sakuna, Tharn (smooching him smooching him), Phaya and Chalothorn this might get hard to follow but hey that's what it's like inside my brain so welcome to the mess

Putting it under keep reading

So like I said in the last post, Chalothorn is a fighter, like you can't get more fighter than this, the man is literally the prince/ruler of Nagas and he is right in the middle of the battle field anytime there is a fight to be had, and like I said in Sakuna's part of the post he is a level that can probably can only be rivaled by Sakuna's brother, you can't be a higher level of Naga fighter from what I understand, so like how do you fight this man if you are Wansarut and Sakuna? (ep. 8)

Keep in mind that : the answer is that they never were supposed to fight Chalothorn

SCENARIO 1 : Chalothorn wins

This is what we've seen in the show, Sakuna/Wansarut/Phaya/Tharn would never win against him in a fight because they just aren't strong enough to began with, Sakuna and his Garuda were not Chalothorn's level when he was alive, Wansarut is a healer/protector not a fighter, Phaya can only do ✨Sparkles✨ of Garuda powers as of rn and while Tharn can do some powerful protecting he is of the gang the person who is the less in contact with his past and magical self (other than for protecting Phaya magic, we have not even seen his Naga in this lifetime) and also his past self wasn't even a fighter, so it makes sense that Chalothorn just keep killing them and every single one of their reincarnations, he kills them so much that it was destroying his own soul (ep. 8) because surprise he is getting affected by the little cyclic karma thingy they got going on too, this isn't just about Wansarut/Sakuna and PhayaTharn, Chalothorn is trapped in this shit too

Clearly fighting is not the answer, because even if you win, which Chalothorn has been doing a lot of, you still lose, Chalothorn is losing control of his Naga form, not only does it destroy his soul (ep. 8) but he might just not be able to turn into his human form anymore aka would be forced to be a Naga forever (ep. 9)

Another lost of this is that he keeps losing Wansarut and having to wait for the cycle to start again so he would get another chance, like the level of psychological damage getting done to him because he kills the one he loves and he is always left behind alone to wait is enough to drive anybody insane (ep. 11)

And I think that's one of the reasons why it took him so long to understand that he should let Wansarut/Tharn go, because when you do something so despicable and keep doing it over and over again you have to justifies your bad actions to yourself so you don't break and the more you justifies them the harder it becomes to see clearly through them, so you just keep doing it, like Chalothorn probably hates himself more than he even hates Phaya or love Tharn at this point because he keeps killing reincarnations of Wansarut, like this is his reaction to killing Wansarut the first time, falling to his knees screaming and everything (ep. 8), the cognitive dissonance in that man's brain must be insane

SCENARIO 2 : Phaya wins

Now let's imagine for a second there that they did win, Phaya succeeded in killing Charlothorn, and then what? Isn't Charlothorn just gonna reincarnate and come back for them again? Like yes it might take some times but it will happen, and then Phaya and Tharn would be the one destroying their souls and making their karma worst, that's just not a solution

Also we saw with Narong's case part of the show that "victim turned attacker" is not the answer (anyways that's what the show says), when Tharn and Phaya are talking to the abbot at the end of episode 5 the abbot keep repeating that over and over again killing is not the answer

When Phaya Says "Those victims are left with no choice but to fight back in order to survive. They have to kill." The abbot answers "The basic code of moral conducts for human beings like us is the 5 precepts. One should be abstained from killing other living beings. These precepts can bring peace and happiness to your family and the society. Undertaking the 5 precepts will benefit not only yourself but also the people around you." Basically straight up telling them that [not killing] is the only answer that will bring peace to everyone

Also so many parallels can be made between Narong and Chalothorn (which is probably why it was easy for Chalothorn to possess Narong to attack Phaya but let's not get into that), because like isn't this Chalothorn? (ep. 5)

His mind is so clouded by anger and wanting to kill Phaya and getting Tharn that he is obsessed with it, he literally do not see anything else, specially if Phaya is in the room and/or mentioned, like I said a bit higher in this post, he hates Phaya, but he probably hates himself too, and so much hate and anger just blinds people

Also sidenote that I'm not really gonna dive into : How do you think Tharn would feel about Phaya killing Chalothorn, knowing what u know about him? like Tharn loves Chalothorn as a friend, and that's even if Chalothorn is responsible for all the bad things in his life (ep. 12)

Tharn may be looking at Chalothorn saying this but he said "Please stop killing each other." he could not be more clearly talking to both of them, he doesn't want Chalothorn to kill Phaya but he also doesn't want Phaya to kill Chalothorn

SCENARIO 3 : Tharn Wins

Now lemme say this, you can literally never convince a fighter by fighting him, like if you've ever had a fight/argument with someone you know that you cannot reach a compromise in the heat of the fight when everyone is angry and losing the control of their emotions, it just doesn't work, but what does work in the context of the show?

Wansarut and Sakuna

And now I'm back to Wansarut (<3<3<3<3<3<3) and Sakuna because well Wansarut did change a fighter's mind before already, this is part of Wansarut's power that's why I also describe Wansarut as a mediator, and what did Wansarut do exactly?

Well Wansarut healed Sakuna, even if he is from the enemy side, and took care of him and acted in a way that was protective of him, even if again Sakuna is an enemy of Wansarut's people (literally brother of the Garuda king) because that Wansarut's character, Wansarut is a healer/a protect/a mediator that's how Wansarut fights (ep. 8)

Then Wansarut tough Sakuna about Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon)

And while being in love with each other did facilitate this change of view in Sakuna (which would later turn him a bit into a protector of Wansarut), you really do not need to be for this to work, like the best way to change people views on some things truly is just to expose them to the thing from the POV of the people living it, when nobody is in any immediate danger

And that is exactly how Tharn succeeded in convincing Chalothorn that the love between Phaya and him is good, by being there for Chalothorn and taking care of him, and being patient, until Chalothorn was ready to let him go on his own, not in the heat of of fight when everyone is angry and putting the blame on each other, which was again so healer/ protector/mediator of him like I talked about in my other post

Tharn and Chalothorn : the final

So with Wansarut and Sakuna we saw how Tharn could change Chalothorn's mind and what really does work, now imma dive into the last 2 episodes of this show aka the shift in Chalothorn

So in episode 6, Chalothorn says this

And at that time I think those words were true cuz that's literally what he has been doing isn't it? Like everytime he lost, both Wansarut and Sakuna's reincarnations died, so he was "okay" with killing Wansarut, as long as it meant that Sakuna was also dead and they weren't together (crazy way to fight cognitive dissonance if you ask me) but then something changed around episode 11 because Chalothorn started saving Tharn even if Phaya was still alive? (Ep. 11) (ep.12)

The importance of Chalothorn saving Tharn those 2 times, is that 1) now Tharn knows what the fuck is going on and 2) (like I said in the other post) Tharn end up understanding that Chalothorn can be talked too and reasoned with (the abbot would call it enlightenment), because in that 2nd saving he told Chalothorn to not kill Montee, and Chalothorn listened

Sidenote : Wansarut also did tell Chalothorn to not kill Sakuna and Chalothorn did listen that time too, like Wansarut has a BIG influence on this man (wish we saw their relationship before the mess), the only reason why the fight did continue was because Sakuna did not let Wansarut go

Why did he listen then? because he loves Wansarut, it really is as simple as that, and that's why he also listened to Tharn with Montee, because our chronically involuntary celibate man is head over dick for Tharn (valid and relatable)

So remember when I was talking about cognitive dissonance and stuff, well by ep 12, Chalothorn cannot justifies killing Tharn anymore, he is tired, he is turning into a Naga, and he cannot stand seeing another reincarnation of Wansarut die again, but most importantly he cannot stand to see Tharn die by his own hands

It's easy to concentrate on Phaya's distress in this scene but Chalothorn is in as much distress as Phaya, you can hear Chalothorn's voice break when Tharn is dying in both Phaya and his arms after asking them to stop killing each other, they are both screaming Tharn's name, and this time Chalothorn just listen because this is too much, his hatred for Phaya is just not important anymore, killing Phaya is just not as important anymore because anyways Tharn did choose him didn't he? isn't that what he wanted? even if Tharn clearly is in love with Phaya, Tharn did choose to come with him, so in a way none of this shit even fucking matters anymore

So for the 3rd time, he saves Tharn, this time by literally giving Tharn his soul so he would live (wish we saw him breaking down over Tharn dying in his arms in the Naga caves until he ended up giving Tharn his soul tbh), Chalothorn chooses to save a life instead of ending one and thus ending the curse on his part

#the sign the series #the sign #mjtag #tagging you mj cuz u liked my chalothorn gifset so you might like this #hope this makes sense i kinda did not re-read after i was done writing it #my only critic of this show is that i needed them to huminaze chalothorn more #by showing me wansarut interacting with chalothorn before the whole sakuna situation #and also by showing me chalothorn crying/breaking down/panicking over Tharn dying in his arms in the Naga caves #until he decides to just give Tharn his soul #this show needed to be 14 episodes SO bad #i ended up not putting my critic in this cuz it was just too long #but what i just said in the tag is basically it my critic is that it needed to be 14 episodes #i can elaborate in an ask if asked about it #anyways this show really makes my psychology and character lover brain tingle

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babyjakes · 1 year

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dreamy undoing.

event | april '23 ddlg-themed blurb night

summary | when you need it most, ransom knows exactly how to clear out your pretty little head.

pairing | daddy!ransom drysdale x little!reader

warnings | ddlg. soft sweet doting daddy!ransom. toys: warming cream, clit pump, vibe, butt plug. fingering. soo much praise, a little dumbification, lots of "shhhhh"s which are my favorite hehe <3. reader cries a little but only due to pleasure. reader is tied up. multiple orgasms, squirting.

word count | 1,517

requested by 🫧 anon | Life has been so stressy lately and I just know that Daddy Ari or Daddy Andy (or any Daddy you feel like writing!) would put together the perfect plan to wipe all the stressy thoughts from their little one’s brain. Daddy would make sure she feels all safe and little first, and then maybe tie her up to show her some new toys he got for her as he tells her that he’s going to use them to make all her stress go away. By the end, all she can do is come and squirt over and over and over again as daddy makes her make a big big mess.

an | ohh bestie i'm so glad you sent in a toy request, i have been craving a good toy fic and this was perfectly timed for blurb night!! hope it's alright with you that i chose ransom, i just love him and miss him and always think of him first when it comes to toys hehe <3 also?? this was supposed to be just a quick lil blurb but the adhd medication got me completely carried away..... hope you enjoy >:-)

"There you go baby— shhh," Ransom's voice is the softest, sweetest thing you've ever heard as his gentle fingers spread the yummy-scented cream all over your poor little button. Your legs twitch against the ropes holding you open and spread wide for your daddy. Though you're all tied up in quite a punishing position, this is not a disciplinary session. Instead, the restraints are simply there for your safety, for your comfort. Ransom knows this is exactly what you need after such a grueling week of school and work; all he wants to do is let his pretty baby's mind melt away to nothing as he rewards her endlessly for all the hard work she's been doing.

"Mmm... Daddy," you mumble. Ransom hums along with you as he rolls your tiny knot of nerves between his fingers, the effects of the special cream not taking long at all to be felt. "Th-thank you Daddy, feels so nice, feels—"

"Shhh— you're welcome, baby," the dark-haired man leans his head in to press a kiss against your forehead as he works your sensitive clit with his fingers. "You just let Daddy take care of you, hmm? Don't have to worry about a single thing, sunshine. Need to empty out that pretty little head of yours, s'not good for a tiny baby like you to be doin' so much thinkin'."

From the little pile of toys he has sitting next to you on the bed, he grabs your favorite pump next. It's a simple device with a round plastic cup for your clit, connected to a small bulb that allows your daddy to work the suction manually. As Ransom uses his fingers to spread you out gently, fitting the toy into its place, your toes curl in excitement. "Need to get your sweet little button all puffy and ready for Daddy to play with, right baby?" he smiles as he sucks your poor clit up with a squeeze, earning an eager nod from you as he wiggles the pump carefully, making sure the seal is air-tight.

"Bet that feels nice— huh, princess?" he croons knowingly as he grabs the next toy: your pretty pink plug, custom-made with genuine Swarovski crystals embedded in the base. "Don't worry, angel. Gonna get it nice and slick for you, make sure nothing hurts for my pretty little girl." Eyeing your dripping folds, he hums in approval. "Such a good girl, getting so messy for me already."

Your mind floats safely through your tiny headspace as Ransom preps the plug with plenty of lubricant, earning a quiet whimper from you as he begins rubbing the blunted tip up against your puckered hole. "Easy baby, shhh," he soothes you once more, bringing one hand up to tap against the hard plastic encasing your clit as the other begins working the plug into you. He releases the pump before squeezing it again and again at a quick, teasing pace, your poor puffy button getting sucked up over and over by the tool.

Your breaths deepen, heart thumping faster and faster as your clit pulsates in pleasure, the sensation of the plug stretching you out in your most sensitive of places bringing you closer and closer to the edge in little time at all. Attentive as always, Ransom senses your growing arousal with ease. "Good girl, that's my sweet little y/n. That feel nice, baby? You like it when Daddy plays with your clit and plugs up your pretty little bottom? Poor little girl— so tight, aren't you?" he mocks pity, the heat in your tummy growing as he slides the plug in and out of your burning hole, letting it stretch you out as far as it can without quite giving you the satisfaction of inserting it fully to sit nicely in its intended place.

"P-please Daddy," you pout, bottom lip trembling as he toys with your ass, letting out a gasp as he sucks your needy button up fully again before plunging two thick fingers into your neglected cunt. "O-oh Daddy... thank you Daddy, I— please, please Daddy..." Ransom grins at the sound of your increasing desperation. The first orgasm is always his favorite; he loves dragging it out, watching as it creeps up slowly, then before either of you know it, all at once.

"There you go, babygirl. Just needed this pretty little pussy filled up, huh?" he sings, the pads of his fingers curling up against your tender ceiling as you grit your teeth, tears building in your eyes as you pass the point of no return.

"Please Daddy, I-I'm gonna— please," you heave.

"Go ahead, baby," Ransom murmurs, giving you a knowing nod as he works his hands faster, bringing you right to orgasm at his simple command, "cum for me. Theere," he hums, a satisfied look washing over his face as he witnesses you coming completely undone before him.

Clenching down against the plug and your daddy's fingers, you completely let go, gushing steadily against his ministrations. Your climax is long, steady, and intense, pathetic whimpers sputtering out of you once you finally begin to drift back down to earth. Ransom carries you through it with care, working your most sensitive places as long as he can to give you as pleasurable of an orgasm as possible. Only when you're finally winding down does he slow, bringing his drenched fingers up to his lips to taste your sweet juices.

"So good for me, angel," his voice is low, tender as he finally pushes the plug in fully, watching as it nestles itself perfectly into place against your trembling rosebud. Free hand coming up to rub your tummy gently, he coos as it still spasms lightly from your euphoric high. "So proud of you, sweetheart. Did so well for Daddy, that feel good?"

"Mhmm," you hum, gazing at him through half-closed lids as you soak in the dreamy waves of pleasure still coursing through your veins. "So good, thank you Daddy," you mewl sweetly.

"You're so welcome, little one. Now let's see here," he muses, bringing his attention back up to your clit as it sits swollen in its clear cage. "Oh my," he breathes as he lets it out of the pump with a pop, the magic workings of the device and the cream visible as the little bundle of nerves now sits completely exposed and hardened, just begging to be loved on. "So puffy, baby. Look at you," he enthuses, placing a hand behind your head to bring it forward, forcing you to look at your poor, abused sex.

"S-so puffy," you agree, eyes widening as he reaches for the bottle of lube, gently dripping some down against the knot of flesh. The sensation of the cool liquid hitting your most sensitive spot brings tears to your eyes once more.

"Think I've bullied your poor little button enough, huh?" he frowns as he grabs a small, cordless wand from beside you— another favorite. "Think it deserves some relief. What do you say, princess?"

"Y-yes Daddy, please Daddy," you drool as you rest your head back against the pillows once more, the sound of the wand switching on already overwhelming you with anticipation.

Pressing three fingers into your messy heat this time, Ransom gives no warning before bringing the head of the wand down to begin working over your clit. You jolt at the intensity, earning a light chuckle from the dark-haired man as he begins pumping his digits in and out of you once more, singing, "There, that's what you needed, isn't it? Just needed Daddy to tie you down and let you cum? How long d'you think you'll last this time, sweetheart?" he wonders aloud.

But you're already teetering towards the edge again, the wand being swirled over your throbbing clit in slick, steady circles enough to make your mind go completely numb. And that's all Ransom wants; that's all he's wanted from the beginning: to reduce you down to nothing but whimpers and moans, a drippy, darling mess at the mercy of his skilled hands. "Please... please..." Your vocabulary is shrinking by the second as his fingers speed up against your burning walls.

"You don't have to beg, baby. You can cum, can cum as many times as you need. Daddy's gonna take care of you, sunshine," he promises as you reach your second high, tears and spit dribbling down your chin as you squirt out against your daddy's hands once more. He praises you softly and sweetly, letting you ride out your orgasm for as long as you can. Your juices crackle against the hum of the vibrator as you squeeze your eyes shut, heart pounding in your throat as you wait seconds, minutes, what feels like forever for the ripples of pleasure to finally subside.

"Hmmph... Daddy..." your own voice sounds miles away from you as you stay in your daze, head entirely somewhere else as you feel the wand being run up and down your soaked slit.

"Daddy's here, angel. Doin' so good for me— let's see if you can give me another one, hm?"

quietly tagging @onsunnyside in dis bc. dis is puff puff behavior fr.

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catgirlbussy · 10 months

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im gonna do a lil sadpost, as a treat. if u dun wanna read that or interact or anything there's no harm done <3 it kinda feels nice sayin stuff into the void tbh, cause i know as i look out ill always see myself at minimum, and im still thankful. im alive. if someone can relate or whatever then thats a neat bonus ★

I'm not super sure how to formulate these thoughts, cause lots of it is just incompressible /feeling/. I've been on HRT for close to two years now, and modifying my internal physical landscape alongside the work I put in with the ways I've learned sharing benefit so far, like therapy and self-directed exploration of my emotions and the simple but vital practice of being more open with others about how I'm feeling, has uncovered a lot.

It's been overwhelmingly positive in so many ways. I don't have any regrets for starting this set of changes, even with full knowledge of the difficulties I've had rise as a result and that more are on the horizon, and also full awareness in that I will need to continue putting in the *good* work to care for myself and learn how to navigate the parts in my mind I'd kept hidden or obscured for so long. It's not /bad/, I feel so grateful to have this opportunity at all and I feel bounteous joys in this trove of beautiful experiences that, up 'till not too long ago, I never thought I'd be able to experience -- though I absolutely still dreamed of having them so vividly.

I have a lot of good graces in my life re: my transition. In a lot of ways I feel I've been exceedingly lucky. Canada has its fair share of problems without a doubt, but I also know full well there are a lot more places on our planet where it's much more difficult to be openly trans, let alone dangerous or lethal. I don't take that as an opportunity to rest, either, because having cracks forming in the firmament, letting in light to my dream of a world where trans experiences are accepted (and to note most thoroughly, I'm learning more of a lot of cultures in days gone by, /including some aspects of my own heritage/, having extended gender representations ingrained in their societal norms, some as far even to revere the dynamic and unique experience of existing beyond the gender binary in whatever way they saw as such) for **everyone** spurs in me an even deeper and impassioned drive to work in the ways I'm able to foster communication and connection while rebuking hostility so more and more beautiful, valid trans folks can experience respite and respect and safety as well.

I'm not wanting necessarily to change minds and upend the posture of society with this particular post, though, and so I hope you'll forgive me in my expressing my small, localised set of emotions in this moment. At the root of everything I experience I'm starting to get better at reminding myself that I'm a valid *individual person* in addition to being a contributor in the push for good and kindness for all.

It's probably telling that I feel the need to offer ~4 paragraphs as a disclaimer that I spend time learning about the global scale and am effortful in enacting progress there before just getting on with what I'm even feeling sad about. I don't see myself as a holy martyr for being nervous about expressing myself, but it seems more and more common evidently rather than by my hypothesis alone that many trans individuals would get by prior to exploring their gendered identity with burgeoning self-acceptance with a marked self-exclusionary behaviour when it came to opening themselves to emotional experience, regardless of any given instance being gendered or not. Until it becomes unmanageable, it feels easier to lock away senses of joy, sadness, etc. cause you can keep gettin on by in a sort of functional state and you tell yourself thats enough.

This is far from the worst thing I've come across so far, but I am feeling confused and the confusion is unique in its own way to the extent that I'm not even able to pin down how I /feel/ about feeling it. At its heart I can't seem to muster the right formulation of words to explain to others these particular experiences I'm having in my transition. Painting in broad strokes can be such disservice to the nuance for any individual's cluster of experiences, but tumblr if anything *for me* has brought much happiness in finding threads of commonality with others. Stark contrasts to my feelings of loneliness and seclusion from the world around me give me so much hope. I'm writing this partly in hopes that there is another one of those threads people might appreciate seeing. I do more than my fair share of journaling, but this one feels special and worth sharing right now, and so decadently I write these words for a community beyond myself.

To be blunted, perhaps I might phrase it by saying 'i feel sad about being happy.' It's that sort of absurdist perspective that helps me wrap my head around it a little better with how little sense it makes to my normal machinations. I'm not sad that I am having these new and thrilling experiences of adding or or changing parts of myself to live in the way I best see fit for who I am, but I feel sad because I don't know how to.

I get locked up at the slightest things. Someone compliments my nails, and its so hard to communicate efficiently the impossibly depthed importance this literally surficial act has for me. They aren't even painted well, but I painted them /myself/, I felt catharsis in exploring my love of artistic expression in the choice of colours, I rode high on the thrill of watching this new skill form in my own hands. The coat is uneven and I can't quite keep myself from getting knicks in places as they dry yet and I'm still practicing the nail care associated with maintaining healthy and resilient nails, but if I can be so bold to say, god forbid women do anything.

This person obviously wasn't chastising me for partaking in a traditionally "femininely-associated act", let alone that so thoroughly most things people take for gendered in no way innately are, the whole binary supposition is a damned myth. But because of how I was brought up and the mindset I was taught to have before I fought to think for myself instead, this was a joy I'd always admired but felt I was abhorrent for wanting to partake in. Absolutely anyone who feels otherwise can irrevocably go fuck themselves if they aren't willing to examine the falsity of the foundational thoughts they 'think' they have leading them to ever want someone to abstain from such a viscerally unobstructive and innocuous form of self exploration and creativity bexause it's "for girls". This goes for anything. For anyone. Idc who you are or what label you wanna use at any given moment, go explore. Live life. God fuck do we need people to just experience joy in some ways so we aren't so incorrigible and hostile towards eachother.

But you don't stop whoever took 15 seconds out of their say to mention to you they like the colour and wanted you to know to discurse at length upon the structural bastardisation of who people are allowed to be, cause more than any of that I just want to feel happy about it.

I literally stutter out whatever form of thanks my malformed emotionally-communicative faculties can muster in this surprise and try not to start sobbing in the grocery store aisle or whatever. It's so /good/, and it's so frustrating that I don't even know how to just process and appreciate that it is.

I was so much an absentee in my own bodied self that I could not fathom an understanding of what gender euphoria was until it snuck up smashed me in the teeth. I didn't have any basis of understanding for what it was really like to be happy about some part of myself.

Despite my loneliness I have still had the experiences of friendships, people caring about me, and relationships where a partner genuinely appreciated parts of me, physical, mental, emotional, whatever. More now than ever I am having those experiences as I learn to come out of my cloister inside my head. But this time I'm not just numb to everything. Sure, as I'm learning to not just be unilaterally numb until my bastion of self-isolation fails and I break there is abundance of pain, but the pain I honestly prefer. It's more vivid than it's ever been before, but I can benchmark that I'm still alive by its contrast to neutrality. It's familiar, and my mechanisms of clutching my emotions into my soul can still carry me forward as I try to figure things out. But fuck me is it ever hard to have a happy experience and not know how to communicate that it tore my sense of stability in those moments to shreds. To lose the composure that carried me for so many years because someone sought to share something with me they thought I'd appreciate because they care about me feels so counterproductive to just enjoying the absolute gift that experience is.

Abstractly, as I'm wont to do to a remarkably self-apparent fault, I can tell myself that these things take time. Human emotion is so complex, and its panoply of shifting lights glinting as the facets move their positioning relative to the light of being alive is what drives me to do art, and it always has been, contradictory so fully to my desire to lock everything away. I can't circumnavigate multiple decades of trauma and be free and unfettered in my senses in an instant just because I'm aware it's possible. And so I try so fucking hard not to just sit down and cry in that grocery store aisle, cause it hurts so bad to be happy.

How dare I find glints of good in the polluted landscape we live in. But that mindset helps nothing. People striving to live amidst turmoil is what makes life worth living. There will always be strife, but there will always be the possibility for hope alongside it.

Without fail, each night I'll self-soothe myself into a mode of somewhat-restfulness imagining what it would be like to trust myself enough to be imperfect and let someone hold me. It's the only thing I do anymore. It even backfires sometimes and I just waking-dream my way through countless blissful scenarios about what it would be like if that cute girl I've been starting to become friends with mentioned she wanted to hold my hand for hours until the sun comes up and I know I won't have any sleep at all. It's so goddamn worth it. I revel in it, because at least in the theatre of my mind I can find small ways of letting myself feel those joys. They aren't really happening. It's my own hand rubbing a thumb gently along my collarbone in a faux affection. But it's the only way I've found that's not so obstructively blinding in intensity for me to practice what it would be like to be close to others.

I still lose my sense of self so often. I find bruises from where I bumped into things and wholesale didn't notice until the tiredness sets in and I can't autonomously ignore how sore I am. I dive effortlessly into the placid waters of dissociation when someone gives me a hug, despite that being what I have dreamed of for so many years during my self-imposed isolation. Someone tells me they like an art piece I've made and I stopper any sense of pride or appreciation for their kind words despite pouring however much time channeling my slowly uncoiling understanding of reality into every particle of it and wishing that my experiences could convey any amount of any feeling whatsoever to another living being with the entirely selfish act of wanting that I feel like I had a real connection.

I can't get by with chainsmoking and shelf-set pain medications and blind ignorance any more. I can't ignore how badly I want to feel. I am figuring it out instant by instant and it scares me horribly. One day my yearnings for closeness will be actualised because I'll be ready to open when they come. My selfsense-extracted mutterings of the hypothetical joys of being pressed down into sheets and kissed because someone deigned to gift me with attention for they hold appreciation of this newly forming, ill-configured, but ultimately revelatory feminine self I'm becoming will no longer be fiction and prose but the rawness of experience that I, once, and then more, can lose myself into without terror thay I'm inadequate and never truly worth it. Someone will touch my breasts and love me for loving them myself and I'll give in to the annihilating instant where I am no longer a sense of self but just am. This body is not me but my, and I will scrape and fight however I can muster to live vicariously thru it because that is what I am meant to do by being here alive at all. If anything ever again I want to feel what love is like.

I'm not even reading this back to see if it conveys properly let alone makes sense at all. I'm exhausted and in so much pain. If you read this, thanks, and, if you can, go hug someone you love today.

#acceptance #love #kindness #affection #expression #long post #tldr #hope #trans #transgender #trans femme #trans girl #transition #hrt #hormones #mtf #pride #self love

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vitaminseetarot · 10 months

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PAC: Yes/No/Maybe - 7 Piles

Hey everyone, hope your new moon is going well so far. I'm manifesting some big juicy changes in my life and felt drawn to posting my first Yes/No PAC! I grade the cards on a spectrum of No, Likely No, Maybe, Likely Yes, and Yes. A disclaimer for all my readings of this type: this is a collective reading so take gently, it's reading for your current energy state which you can change through conscious awareness, and you're always allowed to pick as many piles as you want.

With that said, relax, breathe, think of a question or three, and pick a number between 1-7 or any of the fruity images you see below.

(shoutout to @psychedeloscopeart for the Spectrowhirl 1 Ed. tarot deck!)

(images from pexels.com and itstock)

Pile 1

XXI World, Knight of Pentacles, 3 of Wands - "Enchantment"

This looks like a surefire Yes, but you may not see results right away. Keep plugging away at whatever you're doing, and let the beautiful results magically unfold before your eyes. Visualize nothing but the best case scenario happening, keep the fire lit.

Pile 2

Queen of Pentacles, 4 of Swords, XXI World - "Perspective"

I would tag this as a Likely Yes. Slow and steady wins the race here. Not every success story happens over night, but at the same time they may be going more swiftly than even planned. If you feel like it's too fast or slow, just shift your viewpoint a little. No rush.

Pile 3

8 of Swords, 3 of Pentacles, King of Wands - "Grace"

This looks like a Likely No. Something from within is slowing or halting any effort to push forward. Outside support is advised here. You have help around you, don't try to do it all by yourself. The universe will push you along once you're ready.

Pile 4

VIII Strength, 7 of Cups, XI Justice - "Grounding"

This pile is an absolute Maybe. There are way too many factors to consider here and you must be patient with yourself in making the right choice. Impulsive fear-based action will not bode well here. Take all the time you need to sit this one out. The answer will come to you.

Pile 5

2 of Cups, 9 of Swords, Moon - "Desire"

This is a No. A lot of hesitation in these cards, it seems to be asking whether this is something you want for yourself or if social pressures have any play in the matter. Is it for you or for them? Whatever the case may be, you must clear the mind first and then center. Highlight your needs first.

Pile 6

2 of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles - "Enough"

This is a Likely Yes, a yes but with a stipulation. Abundance is yours as long as your priorities are straightened out. Don't bite more than you can chew right now. An exchange or offer may be required first, as there is a need to balance something out. Temper your resources and avoid overindulgence.

Pile 7

Knight of Cups, I Magician, 4 of Wands - "Celebrate"

This is a big Yes! It's gonna turn out great for you. Keep the good vibe train going and focus on the best yet to come. A recent lesson you have learned may be paying off to help you in favor. It will work out because you are putting your best foot ahead of you. The past can't get you down. Keep up the good work!

#tarotblr #tarot #tarot community #general reading #pac #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick an image #psychic readings #pick a number #yes or no #yes/no #yes no maybe #intuitive reading #collective reading #tarot reading #free tarot

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misty-howler · 1 year

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Talk With Your Future Self...

Hello everybody 🌸 Welcome to another Pick a card reading. This is an old pac I did on my lost and forgotten account @luminarygirl but my heartiest thanks to @pyramerex (yes I will mention you in each and every post you retrieved because I am grateful) for retrieving a few of my posts. I really love you for what you have done for me. Thank you ❤️

DISCLAIMER : All my Readings are for entertainment purposes only and it is a general reading so it may or may not resonate.

I hope you enjoy your time here:) Please choose your pile intuitively...

Pile 1

Cards : Ten of wands ; The sun ; The lovers ; Nine of cups and Five of pentacles.

Your present self...

I see that you are talented and hardworking but you carry a lot of burden on you. You care for people's need before yours and you simply think that it is you being generous but it is the other person being selfish and draining all your energy. If we look on the card then we see that there is a man who is holding 10 wands which represent his burden and he is struggling to reach his destination which is that little village that can be seen on some distance in the card. If the situation would have been normal and he would have not had burden then he could have easily reached the village his destination. And your present self is represented by this man you are taking burden of unnecessary things right now.

Your future self will thank you for...

Your future self is thanking you for being innocent. Like in today's world there is no humanity left. But with you I see that you are a believer of humanity and you have a close relationship with nature. And although you have had a lot of problems in your life still you shine brighter than most of the people. Your future self wants to thank you for the confidence you have gained over the years which is helping them now. And because of your hard work your future self is now very optimistic and full of energy and they radiate positive energy wherever they go. I see you radiate positivity now as well. But it is a little dim right now due to the burden you carry but with time as you grow older and release this burden your positivity is gonna radiate more and more.

Your future self tells you to focus on...

Your future self is telling you to focus on building deep and strong connections with other people. I see you might be a overthinker which could make you have trust issues but your future self is telling you that open up a little. Be a little more passionate about your life and put yourself out there if you don't want to come into a romantic relationship yet then that is absolutely fine just go for a platonic one. But make connections that will last you for life long. They are telling you to for once follow your heart and don't listen to your head. We see in the card that there are two people standing and there is an angel (angel Ralphael) who is looking at them and blessing them. But if they would have not taken the chance to meet each other and get to know each other this would have never happened this connection would have never been formed . so you have to go out and take a chance and start building connections. Strong ones.

Your future self tells you to cut off...

Pile 1 I see that you have been through some shit in past. And you are working really hard to reach your goals. But why are you so dissatisfied by yourself? You should be happy for till where you have come. You could be a loner. And might not have alot of friends. Your future self is assuring you that you are gonna be successful. But you have to stop victimising yourself. It is not just you who is struggling everybody is struggling with something or the other. But you have to give some credit to yourself. So please cut off that dissatisfaction from your life. Otherwise it will slowly eat you and you won't be able to do anything.

Advice from your future self...

Your future self wants to advise you that you should set your priorities they want to tell you that your path is not at all easy you have to go through hardships and that is important to learn the lessons but you should have someone to whom you can tell all your problems and discuss. they will give you advice. Moreover prioritise what you want to do get clear with that. On the card, 5 of pentacles, we see that there are two people walking in a snowy Storm. Which indicates that you have to go through difficulties as well. Your future self is literally shouting prioritise what do you want and cut off everything else.

For example you have planned to go to South Korea for your higher studies right now you are in this situation where you want to learn Korean and Japanese but you have time for learning only one so what are you gonna learn? obviously you will learn Korean it will help you in the future. So like this prioritise what you want. (Sorry for the lame example 😅)

This might resonate with some of you only when I was doing your reading my sister got me some food to eat so I got distracted and I left your reading in between and went for eating. So I see that some of you might pick up new projects in excitement leaving the old ones abandoned and eventually you have a lot of work to do because now you have old projects and new projects to be done so please try to control that.

Possible Signs in your chart could be Leo ; Gemini ; Sagittarius ; Pisces ; Taurus

Song for you :

Pile 2

Cards : Five of swords ; Page of Pentacles ; knight of wands ; Ten of cups and Six of Swords.

Your present self...

I see that their are some conflicts going on in your life right now. And your surroundings are really very tense. Maybe you or someone else is blaming the cause of their failure on someone else and that is causing problems. This could cause to bring a break in your life with other people. Causing you to hate everything. So, this situation has to be handled gracefully or else it could turn into disaster. You could also be dealing with delusional dreams.

Your future self will thank you for...

Your future self wants to thank you for the kind of person you are. They want to thank you for you being passionate enough and not giving up even in the hard times. You kept going and going and you are the reason for what your future self is today. Although your future self is still finding their way to their path but they are very happy where they are and I see lush green surroundings around them and them holding a coin. Which shows that your future self has all materialistic things that they would want to survive. And they wanna give all the credit of all the abundance to you.

Your future self tells you to focus on...

Your future self is telling you to focus on pursuing your goals. They want you to be passionate about your goals and complete them in the given time. They are telling you you to not procrastinate over silly things. Try to make your goals exciting. They are asking you to work on the goal which is given to you right now and not to be preoccupied by the past. This could be a past project you did or maybe you have made a mistake while doing this project whatever it was it is gone now and because of that project you cannot risk this one as well. Your goals don't have to be big. Start small.

Your future self tells you to cut off...

Your future self is telling you to cutoff those toxic family members from your life who dont support you and also try to hold you back. Maybe the conflicts stated in your present self are also being created by these people. It could also be a friend. They are asking you to take a trip with your closed ones. Just try to reconnect to them. Now I know you just cannot cut off a family member from your life even though you know that they are toxic. So just try to maintain your safe distance from them and manifest that they won't create problems for you.

Now it is not necessary that there has to be someone toxic in your family or friends circle it could also mean that maybe there is someone around you whom you are not very comfortable with. So try to make a safe distance from them. Maybe someone is asking you to help them and you are just not comfortable. So, tell that person. You don't have to cut them totally off but set your boundaries.

Advice from your future self...

The advice from your future self is that you have to push yourself forward no one else is going to do that for you. They are asking you to leave the disastrous side of your life and start fresh with calmness. You do have to push yourself but not to such a extend that you start feeling that this is something you have to do and not enjoy. Everything we do in life. We do it to enjoy. We do it to satisfy yourselves not someone else. They are asking you to prepare yourself for the next chapter of your life.

Possible signs in your chart could be Aquarius ; Taurus ; Virgo ; Capricorn ; Pisces ; Sagittarius

Song for you :

Pile 3

Cards : king of cups ; Seven of cups ; King of swords ; The Magician and Queen of pentacles

Your present self...

I see that right now you are emotionally stable pile 3. And you are someone who stays calm when their are problems to be handled and you know that your inner wisdom will help you in solving these problems. You are someone who is mature. And you gracefully handle all the challenges that life throws at you. I see that your subconscious and conscious mind are in alignment right now which helps you alot to see things clearer. I see that you are also very creative.

Your future self will thank you for...

Your future self is thanking you for being a dreamer. Because when we dream about something we are subconsciously manifesting it and because your subconscious and conscious mind are in alignment I think you guys are quick manifesters. I see that your future self is very happy and satisfied with what they have and they want to thank you for it because you were flexible enough and you practiced multiple things which gave them the opportunity to select the career of thier choice. If we see financially I can see that your future self is really very happy and stable.

Your future self tells you to focus on...

Your future self wants you to focus more on your tasks which require your intellect. They are asking you to focus on yourself more for example restructure your daily routine, give an hour to all the task you have to do for that particular day. Just don't do anything , anytime, anywhere. Set new goals they don't have to be big ones but work towards them with full confidence and passion you have to stay determined towards your work and then only you will grow. Be it your studies or your work. Your future self is telling you to become that no nonsense person who takes absolutely no bullshit of anybody.

Your future self tells you to cut off...

Your Future self is asking you to cut of people who might manipulate you into wrong things. I see a lot of tricksters around you. These people are just using you for their benefit and using your energy. Your future self is warning you right now otherwise you might face problems in the future. This person could be anyone maybe a family member for a friend or someone online. I also see that there are a lot of cheaters around you. So it is possible that you had some idea and someone stole it from you and took all the credit so don't let that happen and cut those people off.

Advice from your future self...

First advice that I am getting for you guys is that manifest carefully there are good things as well as bad things that you can manifest so be very careful while you are dreaming / manifesting. They are telling you to take care of your resources and think about long term security. Take steps to create that financially abundant future that you have always wanted. Take a practical approach to your work and don't think everything from your heart think a little bit from your head.

Possible signs in your chart could be Virgo ; Scorpio ; Aquarius ; Taurus and Capricorn.

Song for you :

Pile 4

Cards : The lovers ; Four of wands ; Five of wands ; The devil and Three of cups.

Your present self...

I see that you are doing something and you are very passionate about it maybe you have to take a decision right now and you are standing in the middle of the road with no clue where to go. Try to follow your heart. A lot of opportunities are being presented to you don't miss them. I see that you have strong connections in your life right now who will be there to support you no matter what.

Your future self thanks you for...

Your future self wants to thank you for being there with your family even in the hard times. I see some of you might have family problems right now or in the near future. But you will somehow manage to get through it. And now because of you your future self is living happily with your/ their loved ones. And they are celebrating life together. They are prosperous and part of a very strong community and you are the one they want to thank to for all this stuff.

Your future self tells you to focus on...

Your future self wants you to focus on solving the problem not trying to make it big. They also want to you to focus on competition make it healthy and friendly competition but always remember that competition is competition you can't just go on and generously show your generosity by helping others while you yourself don't do anything. For the same project.

Your future self tells you to cut off...

Your future self is asking you to cut off the overly negative temptations that you have. This could be in terms of anything and you know what it is. Try to work on it. Try meditation. Try journaling. starting a new hobby. Anything that could distract you from these temptations. These temptations could be anything from harming yourself to drinking problems. And if you don't work on them now it might turn into addiction and that will cost you a lot.

Your future self advices you to...

All your future self is advising you to do is celebrate your success don't hide behind the curtains it is you who has accomplished something. It is you who have become successful in your goals so you are the one who will celebrate it and you decide who should be there with you when you celebrate it. you decide who celebrate it with don't be afraid. Nobody is gonna say anything to you they can't because it is your success and it is your celebration. And in general it could mean that your future self is advising you to take life little easily and celebrate every moment. cherish every moment we don't have to live our lives we have to celebrate our each and everyday. It doesn't have to be a big celebration may be just you and your close ones or your best friends going for a night out or a girls out or picnic or something.

Possible signs in your chart could be Gemini ; Capricorn ; Aries ; Leo and Cancer

Song for you :

I hope you enjoyed the reading ❤️ If possible do leave a feedback 🥺

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