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sandu-zidian · 3 years

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Blabbing about this Musician!au I started last summer that has now also turned into a marching band!au because I got sad and nostalgic because despite how shitty it could be, marching band defined my high school life and social life and I couldn’t had asked for anything else.

I also don’t have every single prequel character (because this au is surrounding the prequel characters) in Star Wars smacked into here, and I gave up halfway through a couple of months ago in terms of brainstorming. Anyways, this is hella long so check everything out under the line if you’d like! don’t want to spam everyone with something that’s like, 4 pages long

Now, you might be asking. What instruments are these characters playing, or what are they doing in marching band? well, boy oh boy do I have some lore for you.

Anakin Skywalker: alright lets start of with the “Chosen One”. Now, I gotta say. He’s got some intense brass vibes, specifically high brass. But I don’t know. He didn’t really mesh well. And given his natural talent with the Force in canon, I thought that Anakin would be a sort of prodigy. And we all know the two instruments associated with that: the piano and violin. He’s more of a piano dude, so here we go! piano prodigy Anakin Skywalker. He also gives mad drumline vibes, and I can see him as either the lead snare, setting the tempo, or the main quad player. He’s brash, slightly obnoxious, but damn is he fucking good at what he does.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I literally started this AU on the idea that Obi-Wan would play the cello. One of the defining quotes for him is that fucking “infinite sadness” quote. And we all know that cellos play some of the saddest pieces out there. (see: Elgar cello concerto) However, I can’t see him as a marching band dude. He doesn’t really give off color guard vibes (since that’s where most non-band people go to) so I have him as the resident student helper who everyone tolerates because he brings ice cream after band camp.

Ahsoka Tano: Ahsoka is a flute player. As a flute player, I have intimate knowledge on this. She’s like the chill flute player who’s competitive enough to keep her position as principal, but is also chill enough to not have a big ego that butts heads with everyone. She also gives mad color guard vibes. Also speaking about that from personal experience (am I lowkey projecting my own experiences on her? you didn’t hear that from me). She seems like the type to love swing flags and sabre, and is 100% captain by senior year.

I have Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka as siblings in this AU because I say so. Qui-Gon is around here somewhere as the resident hippie dad who lowkey smokes pot and will support his children while giving a big ‘fuck you’ to Dooku.

Yoda’s also in here somewhere, and I love the idea that he’s an old Chinese/Asian man who refuses to speak english and will only do so with the most backwards grammar so his grandchild (Qui-Gon) and great-grandchildren (the trio) are forced to speak Mandarin/Cantonese to him (pick your poison). He just spends his days cutting up fruit and also might pull out his erhu if everyone asks nice enough. (I want to say he was a Peking Opera musician, but immigrated during Mao’s reign after he lost opportunities during the cultural revolution)

So, I know that it doesn’t make sense for a family to have 3 sets of twins and one triplet set, but fuck that I do what I want.

Cody Fett: okay so, Cody 100% plays the french horn. I don’t know, he just, he does. He’s got that air of sophistication because he can play the hardest brass instrument, but at the same time, he’s incredibly good at it and is matter-of-fact about it. He also would be the mello section leader (I was playing with the idea of drum major, but for now, leaving him as a section leader for now). He’s a bit uptight to be a low brass player, but cool enough to still be associated with the general brass group.

Rex Fett: I got Rex and Cody as the eldest Fett twins. Rex feels like a string player, so I have him on violin. I can see him be very hardworking and practicing diligently to the point where he easily sweeps through to concertmaster in high school and the local youth orchestra. He also gives of mad drum major vibes. I can see him copying music, handing out drill charts, and hauling the met around. Also, just think about Rex doing a fancy ass salute at competitions. Yes.

Next round of twins lets gooo

Jesse Fett: You could say Jesse has brass vibes. I see him as a reed person though. In concert band, he’s on clarinet. I used to think clarinets were as stuck up as us flutes but no they’re literally balls of chaotic energy ready to be unleashed. Just imagine Jesse blaming everything on his reed. I see him as the guy who switches to saxophone for marching band, though. He’s got the energy of the clarinet and the saxophone harnessed. Also, wouldn’t be surprised if he knows how to play the sousa.

Kix Fett: Y’know, when I originally made this AU, I had Kix as a musician as well. I’m gonna scratch that. He’s going to medical school, or at least, he’s planning to. He’s on the pre-med track and is dying in organic chemistry and wishes there weren’t so many pre-requisites. However, in high school, he definitely played the oboe. Of course Kix chose one of the hardest instruments to play. Also, just imagine him trying to make his own reeds. I don’t see him as a guy who’s in marching band. He’ll come to competitions and maybe football games if he’s bullied into it. Kix is the guy who’s classes are all AP and he’s dying inside.

Next round of twins yeet:

Fives Fett: shit, I forgot I gave them all real names. If I remember correctly, Fives is Frank. Anyways, trumpet vibes. Need I say more? He’s on the trumpet in marching band as well and he’s the dude who’s obsessed with DCI and always tries to play as high as he possibly can and absolutely demolishes his chops. I would say he’s section leader as well. He also hangs with the drumline at the back of the bus and always plays meme songs on blast and sends weird pictures to people’s phone via open airdrop.

Echo Fett: I think his birth name is Ethan??? I’m spitting thoughts not checking my old documents. Anyways. Echo feels like a string person. Specifically, low strings. So, he plays the bass. Upright bass. Whatever. You get what I mean. He sleeps in the case after school and hates hauling it everywhere. He was in marching band as a mello player (the easiest brass instrument to pick up for the activity so) but he was in a car crash that left him paralyzed from the hip down, and had to quit to recover. He never stopped playing, and found ways to adjust. (I do not know how exactly this would work, since I’m able bodied and also don’t play the bass, but I know he’d at least have a stool to sit on in order to lean his body on. let me know if you have other ideas i’d love to hear them!)

Finally, we got the triplets:

Dogma Fett: Dogma plays the bassoon. He’s a low reed kinda guy and between the bari sax, bass clarinet, and bassoon, he fits the last one the best. He and Kix moan over making reeds and he’s on the quieter side. He just vibes and plays all the low notes and has fun whenever he’s got some moving part. I see Dogma as someone who is only casually into marching band. He uses Jesse’s old student clarinet as his instrument and he’s always on time, knows his sets, and his technique is on point. He always finds himself roped into his brothers’ shenanigans though.

Tup Fett: Tup plays the harp. I like to think he met Shaak Ti (we’ll get to her in a bit) when he was young, and she was playing with an orchestra. He met her backstage and she offered to give him lessons. Tup��s not really a part of high school orchestra but sometimes he’ll be brought in. He’s more involved with solo work and the youth orchestra more than anything. Tup’s another on where I don’t think he’d be into marching band. Though I can see him being in winter guard as the dude who just shows up and is lowkey rip and therefore is a hunk on the rifle. His technique’s good but they’ve never been able to saddle him into fall guard.

Hardcase Fett: (i’ve given up on remembering the birth names so i’m just gonna not) Hardcase is 100% low brass vibes. He can’t be anything but a low brass. I see him as a tuba player. He’s chill, laid back, but also reliable for being the foundation of the band sound. He plays the sousaphone in marching band and always blasts either Seven Nation Army or some other popular show tune right after rehearsals. Hardcase also can play the bari sax and no one knows when he learned how to.

OKAY we’re done with the Fett’s! Jango and Boba are in here somewhere but honestly I don’t have enough brainpower to come up with what their roles are. Jango’s gonna be a good dad though. Maybe he was a musician and that’s why most of his kids are going into music. Or maybe he’s just a supportive father. Boba’s the youngest though, that’s for sure. And he’s a little shit. Don’t know if he plays an instrument (probably) or what it might be.

Now lets get into some other characters! There’s a lot. And I wasn’t even halfway done with the characters I wanted to include. What the hell was I on last summer?

Padmé Amidala: Padmé is a flute player who quit after freshman year of high school and started taking music production and music theory classes. She loved it so much that she decided that composing was her jam. Now, she’s highly successful and often works with well known pianist, Anakin Skywalker, on piano concertos. Also, she may or may not be dating said pianists but you didn’t hear that from me.

Satine Kryze: twosetters don’t shit on me but Satine feels like she’d play the viola. She and Obi-Obi-Wan definitely dated in high school but after a year broke up on mutual terms and are just good friends now. A lot of people feel like she’d have been a better political science/international studies major than a music major but she’s good so no one complains (until she gets into a fighting match with someone and wins smugly)

Bo-Katan Kryze: shes Satine’s younger sister and is a mad athlete. She doesn’t play any instruments but she’s deeply active and is on scholarship for college, on the pre-med track with Kix. She’s very scary and most people are too intimidated by her to approach.

Plo Koon: I originally had him as an asian man, but I can see Native American as well. He plays the euphonium and he’s just a sweet man. He helps out a lot with private lessons at local high schools and is often brought in to help with low brass during marching band.

Wolffe Koon: Wolffe and Gregor (get to him in a bit) were both adopted by Plo when their parents died when they were very young. Plo was their godfather and he took them in like they were his own. They’re cousins to the Fett brothers (though don’t ask me how I have no idea). Wolffe is an engineer and works close to home.

Gregor Koon: Gregor is Wolffe’s younger brother and had a short stint of musical interest in middle school but quit after he entered high school. Gregor was in a serious car crash during college that left him amnesiac for a year before some of his memories returned. He now owns a restaurant and sticks close to home. Wolffe often comes around to check up on him because his brain injury still impacts his current life in small physical and emotional dips

Kit Fisto: Kit gives off mad trombone vibes and it’s mostly because he seems incredibly laid back. He’s one of those brass players who’s just a nice guy and while jokes around, never got pulled into jokes as a student.

Shaak Ti: like I said above, Shaak Ti is most definitely a harpist. She has that ethereal quality I think is common in harpists. She’s a tall Indian woman and she loves her job! She’s a private lesson teacher and instructor at the conservatory on top of her job in the orchestra since she’s not called in often to play. She loves all her students and gives good hugs.

Mace Windu: Mace is the director of the Jedi Symphony, the orchestra which almost everyone is involved with. He is a bass player and he likes his more classical pieces over contemporary music. He’s good friends with Yoda and sometimes the old troll has to wack some sense into Windu and have him take on newer pieces. Windu 100% gives off unhinged director vibes because mistakes and lazy musicians definitely don’t end after high school/college is over.

Quinlan Vos: this lil shithead definitely is the obnoxious, slightly arrogant, but kind of deserving of that, percussionist. He loves his snare drum and is also in the drumline. He’s the same age as Obi-Wan and the two are close friends. Quinlan is definitely slightly unhinged and is always at the back of the bus causing havoc after competitions. He’s the guy that I (OP) hate but also can’t help but respect cuz yeah he’s annoying but at least he’s good.

Aayla Secura: Aayla is Quinn’s half-sister, and plays the French horn. Again, like Cody, she’s got this air of professionalism that I associate with French horn players and like, we gotta represent the girls in brass somehow. She just fits it really nicely.

I feel like now is the time to list who’s still in conservatory and who isn’t: Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex, Cody, Jesse, Quinlan, Padmé, and Satine are all recent graduates. Ahsoka, Aayla, Fives, Echo, Tup, Dogma, and Hardcase are still in conservatory (at varying years of course). Kix and Bo are entering med school/frantically applying and banging their heads cuz MCATs. Wolffe and Gregor are older and have been in the field for quite some time now. Plo, Kit, Shaak, and Mace are all faculty/seasoned professionals.

Somehow, I was gonna bring in The Skiratas (with proper research cuz I know very little about them), Dooku, Ventress, the Oppress siblings, rest of Domino Squad, Cut Lawquene, the other CCs, and more. I designated a page out of my sketchbook for this and my oh my the flow chart was hella confusing. How I thought I was gonna handle that in the summer before my first year of college, I have no idea. Maybe I’ll brainstorm more in the future but for now, this is all I have :]]]

Also excuse some of my slightly unhinged language I started writing this a few days ago while slightly unfocused and tired and stressed so my language is a product of that

#star wars #meta #musician au #my thoughts #I miss marching band so fucking much #I miss DCI #and WGI #miss the community #even if it was pretty stressful at times cuz drama #people love their drama in band #I don’t blame them you get sick of people after band camp #star wars au

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daisiesforlacey · 4 years

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clouds - chapter 2 : cirrus

Pair: Julie x alive!Luke

Summary: After her mother’s death, Julie Molina moved away from Hollywood, across the country, to Ithaca, New York. She’s left behind her two loves in life: her best friend, Luke, and her music. There, she finds new friends and enemies, new experiences and joys, she might even find herself. Every night, Luke calls Julie to talk about the clouds. But what if Luke is hiding something?

Word Count: 3,344

Warnings: angsty??? I mean we gotta move the story along soooo

Note: I started writing this and it got away from me! I think this series might be longer than originally intended, but that’s not a bad thing. I can’t wait to delve more into Alex, Reggie, and Carrie’s storylines, but for now, here’s this! Please please comment, like, reblog; feedback is always appreciated :)))

Masterlist

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The morning had been much chillier than the previous day. On their way to school, Julie and Flynn had bundled up in their favorite sweaters and scarves, along with matching thermoses of tea. Julie had tried to stuff her hair into a wool hat, but after failing miserably, she settled on tying her hair back into a ponytail. Flynn had offered to help style her curls that morning, but she had declined.

The ground next to the sidewalk was blue with frost and they could almost see their breath if they squinted hard enough.

In Ithaca, the winter was dryer, she had found that her lips chapped more often and she seemed to constantly have the sniffles. In L.A, when it got colder, it mostly rained, snow was far and few between and was never terribly enjoyable; the second it hit the ground it would become this sort of grey sludge. One thing they both shared was the unpredictability. Seeing the sun one day did not often guarantee a warm week, which left Julie to keep an array of coats of different thicknesses.

There weren’t too many clouds to see, if she tried hard enough, she might be able to make out a flying saucer. She shook her head, spaceships were too easy and basic; anything could be a UFO.

As they walked and the sun slowly rose, they talked about their upcoming day; if Carrie was going to be tolerable, if they would be getting new music projects, and who was buying lunch.

Luckily for Julie, she could already feel the air warm up, unfortunately, the conversion had shifted to Luke.

“How is your friend? Liam, or whatever?” Flynn asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Luke,” Julie snorted and looked down at her hands, “He’s doing well, he didn’t see too many shapes yesterday, so our conversation was relatively short.” Flynn knew about their nightly calls, but Julie had left out most of the reason they happened. Flynn didn’t need to know how much she missed her friend, she didn’t want the other girl to feel inadequate.

“It’s really cool that you guys still keep in touch, if all of my friendships drifted apart that nicely, Carrie…” Flynn drifted off into thought at the mention of Carrie. Contemplating Julie, frowned, she didn’t particularly like to think that she and Luke had drifted, but she supposed they had literally done just that.

“Well when you have a history like Luke and I have, it’s impossible not to talk to him.” Julie didn’t mention that he seemed to be a part of her that was now missing, or that Luke had this sort of magnetism that drew anyone and everyone to him, or that when they wrote songs together she had felt more alive and seen than anything.

Those things didn’t need saying, those things had been left in L.A.

But in here she had Flynn and a small town and a family.

A broken family, she thought.

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As Nick finished his guitar solo, his lacrosse buddies whooped and hollered in the small music room.

It was smaller than the one back home, but just as welcoming. Cinder block walls had been covered with sound absorbers and music posters ranging from “hang in there” cats to major and minor scales to student made flyers, advertising the school dance coming up.

Their mascot, a yellow and black cougar, had been painted on the wall by an art club some time ago. It was slightly lopsided and its snarling mouth looked more mangled, but the sentiment was there.

Julie had zoned out long before Nick had started, staring at the chipped paint on the wall. She knew the second she walked up to the piano to play, she would freeze. No amount of mental preparation could prepare her to set her fingers on the ivory keys and play something, anything.

“Okay, we have one last performance,” Her teacher said, “Julie.”

The girl looked up slowly. She stumbled toward the piano with hesitant steps. She sat down with a sigh and opened the sheet music. Her blood was rushing and her head was pounding. The room seemed to blur and spin, but was also eerily still and quiet.

She could feel the eyes of her classmates boring into her skull. As they watched her, she could guess what they were thinking, here we go again, I wonder if she’ll actually play this time, just get on with it.

Julie knew that Flynn was trying to encourage her, even from where she was sitting, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at the girl.

“Take your time,” Her teacher assured.

Julie might take forever.

She opened the case of the piano and grazed her fingertips on the keys. They were cold and unforbidding. The second she pressed one of the keys she knew that she would break.

Memories of her mother would come rushing back; every scraped knee, every hand holding in the parking lot, every crush whispered in secret, every night spent over the stove learning what spice goes in when, every uncontrollable fit of laughter.

She would remember every Christmas and Easter that they would break out her Abuela’s Arroz Con Leche recipe, every concert they went to where they would scream lyrics until their throats were raw.

Every failed test that her mother had stayed up late to help her study for, every flu shot where her mother still held her hand, no matter how old she got.

Every note written or melody sung would fill her mind. She didn’t know what would happen when it did, and she desperately didn’t want to find out.

She stood up, “I’m sorry.”

Julie thought she heard Carrie say some snarky remark and that Flynn had retaliated, but she couldn’t have been sure before she was rushing out the door.

After the school day, Flynn and her walked home as quickly as they could, sometimes sprinting. They needed to beat Julie’s father home after he picked up her brother, Carlos, up from his own school. She was praying that he hadn’t heard the news that she was out of the music program yet.

She groaned as she saw his car already in the driveway

Flynn quickly hugged her, “It’s fine, he’ll understand.” She withdrew from the hug and held Julie at arms length with a sympathetic smile before they had to part. Flynn waved as she unlocked her front door and stepped inside.

Julie took a sharp breath in before doing the same.

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“So is ‘Clocks move faster / cause it’s all were after’ the first pre-chorus or the second pre-chorus?” Reggie ran his fingers through his hair, his nose scrunching, “Because wouldn’t it just make more sense to have the same pre-chorus on each verse?”

The brunet’s bass was slung over his body as he rested his hands on the body of his guitar. He looked over to Luke, who was crouched over his lyrics.

Luke shook his head , his air already dripping with sweat, “It’s the second pre-chorus, the first is ‘Clocks move forward / but we don’t get older.’” He semi, sang, strumming along on his guitar. “Changing it up adds movement, we don’t want to bore the listeners. It keeps the theme of staying young at heart.”

Reggie nodded and plucked at his bass, testing out different rhythms. Moving his hands up the neck and over the strings, he finally settled on some semblance of a tune, repeating it over and over again.

Alex joined him, adding a hit on each of the beats of the song. This gave the song a drive and pounding rhythm, working with Luke’s line of ‘Electric hammer to the heart.”

Luke stood up after scribbling something and added his guitar part over it, humming along with the melody, and soon they got well into the song, improvising along the way. There were still some wrong chords and off beats, but they had the bones of what they felt like would be a hit.

Luke had gone from humming to singing, Reggie and Alex joining in. Luke felt his pulse quicken as he grinned.

“‘We ain’t searchin’ for tomorrow’,” Alex sang, to which Reggie echoed, “‘Cause got all we need today’.”

Luke bopped along, “‘Living on a feeling that’s been running through our veins.”

They looked back and forth to each other, knowing what was coming next.

Reggie was supposed to have a line to end the bridge, but it hadn’t been written yet. Luke had spent hours trying to come up with something, but it just didn’t click, every line he wrote either changed the meaning of the song or was too clumsy.

Luke sighed as they all stopped playing and he cast an apologetic gaze to the bassist, “I’ll get it. I promise.”

The boy in the flannel just shook his head, “No worries bro, we’ve done a lot in,” He checked the clock on the wall and his eyes widened comically. “Five hours…”

This mock practice session had started in Alex’s garage right after school after Luke had presented them with a song at lunch.

“It’s totally us,” He had said, sliding to the table with a lunch tray and a scribbled mess of paper, beaming, “Totally mid 90’s. And look, you-,” He pointed to Alex who looked excited but skeptical, “Can start the bridge and you-,” Luke turned his attention to Reggie, “Can echo, ending with…”

Luke trailed off, he didn’t have an ending line yet, he knew it had to be perfect. Everyone knows you can’t end a bridge without a call to action, something that stirred and emotion so deep that you couldn’t help but sing along.

He sighed as his mouth twisted, “I don’t know, I haven’t found the perfect line yet.” He looked down at his chicken scratch, then slid the paper across to Alex, who examined it.

“I like it, have you decided where the harmonies should go yet, or nah?” Alex flipped his blond hair back, after adjusting it in his snapback. He was already trying to decide what type of beats he would do, where the drum fills would be, and what he should consult Reggie on.

The makeshift band had a process: Luke would write a basic lyric and chord progression and then he would bring it to the guys. From there Alex would come up with the heartbeat of the song with Reggie. Reggie would work with Luke to see what melodies he should be playing and how he and Luke would bounce off of each other.

When they came together, the three friends would look at who sang what, harmonies, and fill in the gaps in the music. They worked like a well oiled machine

But lunch had been 7 hours ago and it was now 8 o’clock, well past when Luke should have been home. The boy jumped as he looked outside, saw it was dark, and cursed under his breath. He quickly put his guitar on his stand and grabbed his book bag, then ran out with a wave to Reggie and Alex.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, if I’m still alive,” he called before getting on his bike and going home.

The air was damp and it had just rained, making the pavement slippery. Despite being almost winter, the weather was warm enough to where he only had to put on a shirt and jeans to be comfortable.

On his way to his house, Luke looked to the sky. He cataloged some shapes of dark clouds, moose, cat, spaceship, he thought. He chucked to himself, anything could be a space ship, it wasn’t creative enough, all the cloud had to be was somewhat circular.

His mind drifted to Julie and what she would have to say about these clouds. She would probably smile, her adorable gap showing, and tell him all of the wonderful odd shapes she would see.

“There, right there, a cat chasing a dog,” She would say, “No, no, scratch that, a dog chasing a cat chasing a pigeon. Wait sorry, a shark without a back fin. Or maybe a line of ducklings crossing a street.” Then she would narrow her eyes as the clouds shifted and formed new images, “Well now I don’t know what I see.”

Luke would then look over and tell her that everything she saw was amazing, even if it was truly unremarkable. She was always able to see things he couldn’t, even if it was something as menial as a cloud. She could look at him and know exactly what was wrong no matter what; he didn’t know if she was truly super powered, or if he was super transparent.

Which was why he was glad she couldn’t see him on their calls.

She knew about Reggie and Alex, they had met before she left, but she didn’t know that they played music together. She didn’t know that Luke was writing songs with them like he used to with her. He didn’t want her to feel replaced.

And as far as she knew, his parents were completely fine with his music. They may have had little gripes here and there, but she thought that was the extent of it.

As he arrived at his house and opened the front door, that wasn’t the case at all.

“Lucas Patterson!” His mother yelled from the kitchen, “Do you have any idea what time it is!”

Luke winced as she ran into the living room, wiping her hands on a dish towel. He could see that the dining room table had already been cleared and the leftovers put away.

“It is 8:14! Would you like to tell me why the hell you missed dinner again for the third time this week? No wait! I bet I know! Let me guess, you were at Alex’s!” Her eyes were steel. It wasn’t a question, they both knew the only thing that would keep him out at night would be music with the guys.

He gripped the strap of his back pack before looking at the floor, his knuckles white. “I’m sorry Mom. I just lost track of time, you know how I get.”

Emily smoothed her brow with her fingers as her husband walked in from the kitchen. “At least tell me you did your homework.”

Luke didn’t answer.

His mom threw the dish towel to the floor, “Luke we had a deal! You can keep playing your guitar and going to ‘band practice,’” She used air quotes, “As long as you did your homework before then and always made it home for dinner. Always! Your family and school work is important! I know you don’t think so, but as long as you live under our roof, you abide by our rules!”

He threw his hands up and scoffed, “I’m not going to stop playing music, it’s my life! And you can’t stop me! I am sorry if I miss a few family dinners a week, but isn’t that fine if it means I’m happy?”

His mother looked at him like he had sprouted another head, “Son, I know it’s been hard ever since Julie left, and I know you miss her but--”

“But what Mom? There’s nothing I can do about it, she’s in New York! And the only thing keeping me connected to her is music, and right now, you don’t even let me have that.” Luke stormed through the living room into his room.

He dropped his bag down with a thunk, and sat on his bed, smashing his head into a pillow and screaming. He regretted that he didn’t bring his guitar back, if only to take out his anger by shredding on volume 10.

The day kept getting later, and while he didn’t like calling her while angry, he dialed Julie’s phone number.

The phone rang a couple times before she picked up, “Hello, this is Her Majesty Queen Julie Molina, what is your concern peasant?” She said in a haughty voice, before her façade broke with a giggle.

“Well Your Highness, I have come to discuss today’s weather.” He replied, playing along, her voice instantly making him feel better.

“Today we have seen a couch, a baby, and many many trees.”

“I have also seen many trees; they are very common in the sky.” Luke laughed, “I may have also spotted a suitcase and an umbrella. Sadly my Queen, the rain made it quite hard to see too many shapes.”

Julie clicked her tongue, he could see her face now, her nose scrunched and her mouth down turned, “That is a downright shame. Is there any news to report?’”

Luke perked up at that and rushed to get the words out of his mouth, “Actually, yeah. I wrote a song, ‘Now or Never,’ and it’s actually not that bad. Except I can’t figure out this one line, and it’s been bugging me all day.” He huffed, “Do you wanna hear it?”

She replied just as giddy as he is, “Of course!”

The brunet then launched into singing an a cappella version of his song from memory, stopping here or there to say things such as, “A harmony would totally go here,” or “Add a little guitar riff and it’d be perfect.”

He kept going until, “‘Living on a feeling that’s been running through our veins’. And then of course another line, and then the chorus.” He was staring at his popcorn ceiling now, smiling like a kid in a candy shop.

Julie paused, then said, “We’re the revolution that’s been singing in the rain.”

“What?”

“That’s it, that’s your missing lyric.”

Luke froze, she really couldn’t get any more perfect.

“Queen Julie, you are a genius!” He jumped off of his bed to grab a scrap of paper off of his messy desk before writing down the lyric. “You songwriting genius! If you have stuff like that flowing through your brain, how aren’t you playing it?”

He didn’t mean to bring it up, it just sort of happened. But it was true, how could she be so good at writing and let it go to waste?

Julie cleared her throat, “Well actually--”

“You sang again? I knew it, I knew you would!” Luke cut her off.

“Well no,” She rushed out, he could already see her running her hand over her face in exasperation. He has to stop interrupting people. “I got kicked out of the music program. I haven’t played anything since I got here, and I couldn't either today. I guess that was the last straw, because my teacher called my dad and said that unless I could play something by the end of the week, I need to choose a new elective.”

They sat in silence.

Luke played with his hands, knitting his fingers together and pulling them apart before an idea came to him, “What about your mom’s song. Not for class I mean! But, if just to sit down at your piano again and play something, what about that? She wrote it for you after all. And then maybe afterwards you’d be good to play for your class and boom! You’re Julie, songwriting pianist extraordinaire again!”

“I-I don’t know about that, Luke,” She swallowed. Right before her mom passed, they had written a song together, but she hasn’t even been able to look at it since she moved. If she sat down to play it, she’d be accepting all of those memories back. But then again, if she needed to sing anything it would be her mother’s song. They had taken a few months to write it, and Julie’s mom had completed it before…

“I mean maybe. I’ll see. I’ll try.” Julie nodded to herself and gave a determinant look to her wall. Tomorrow morning she would go to her garage and play her mother's song.

“You promise?” Luke asked tentatively.

“I promise.”

“Alright. I guess I should go, it’s probably pretty late where you are. I’ll see you soon?”

Julie nodded, “See you soon.” Then hung up.

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hallmark-movie-fanatics · 4 years

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Aaron Tveit on His Princely Role in 'One Royal Holiday' & Hopes for a Sequel

By Mandi Bierly

Yes, this Christmas movie premieres on Halloween. But once you see the chemistry between Broadway faves — and longtime friends — Laura Osnesand Aaron Tveit in One Royal Holiday, Tveit's romantic Countdown to Christmas debut, you’ll understand why. And, just like the two stars, we hoping it's the start of a Hallmark Channel franchise

“We started joking about that the first day,” Tveit says. “The next one could be One Royal Wedding. One Royal Baby..." (They’ll have to come up with new duets too — here, they sing Winter Wonderland for the opening credits.)

Tveit plays buttoned-up James, who’s stranded in snowy New England days before Christmas. Sympathetic nurse Anna (Osnes), unaware he’s the Crown Prince of Galwick, offers him and his mother (Tony winner Victoria Clark) rooms at her family’s Connecticut inn. While reclining by the tree and taking an impromptu carriage ride, James and the unlucky-in-love Anna slowly open up to each other, and he finds inspiration for the heartfelt holiday address he must deliver to his people.

The actor — who earlier this month scored his first Tony nomination for starring as bohemian Christian in Moulin Rouge! The Musical and is now filming an untitled Apple TV+ musical comedy series set in the magical land of Schmigadoon — hadn't worked since Broadway went dark in March (and he recovered from Covid-19). Then he received the One Royal Holiday script out of the blue in June. “I thought it was so simple and straightforward and heartwarming and meaningful,” he says. “And the timing for me—I was very, very grateful for many, many reasons.”

The movie was a chance to properly work with Osnes, with whom he'd only previously done concert events. The cast and crew formed their own little bubble in July, staying at the two Woodstock, Connecticut inns that were used for shooting. “It was a wonderful thing to get right to working so early in this new world, and to see that it could work,” he says. “There was a comfort in knowing that we were all together, in the same boat. And something that I didn't realize till afterwards is that in a time that's so not normal, once the cameras are rolling, I got to do something that was very normal. It was quite a gift.”

Here, we asked Tveit to preview a few of the presents that await viewers. Bonus: the movie's costume designer, Lorraine Coppin, chimes in on her greatest finds.

Prince James' Accent

Of course he has one; Galwick is a (fictional) country in northern Europe. Tveit initially pitched a Scandinavian accent, in honor of his own ancestry. "I thought, 'How fun could that be?' I think they thought I was joking, but I was serious," he says with a laugh. Deciding it might pull a little too much focus, he opted for what he describes as a traditional, upper-class British accent. "The idea was maybe James studied in London," he reasons. "There's a heightened quality to that accent that helps sell the royalty factor."

Prince James' Dreamy Sweater

Every leading man in a Hallmark Christmas movie needs one. Bravo to this film for making it a genuine plot point. At first, James is all business, worrying about winning over his people and the prime minister back home, so he only wears suits. But then Prince (Eventually) Charming loosens up enough to borrow a cozy cable knit from his security detail, Christopher (Bradley Rose). “It definitely was a big discussion point,” Tveit admits of finding the sweater. While it may have its own Chris Evans-in-Knives Out moment, that movie wasn't Coppin's inspiration (she hadn't even seen it). She says she just wanted something that looked authentic — "sexy, but rugged and wintery, without being over the top." Her first choice was a wool fisherman's sweater that both she and Tveit thought was gorgeous, just not ideal for filming in the middle of summer. "It was meant-to-block-out-the-wind-off-the-North-Sea kind of real," he says.

Because of the bubble, Coppin wasn't allowed to shop in person, so she scoured the internet looking for a more breathable option and found the cotton J.Crew match (above). "He was so happy that he was like, 'Can I have that on my way out the door?'" Coppin remembers. Tveit went home with the sweater andJames' three-piece pinstripe Connaisseur Paris suit (below), she says.

A Fresh Take on the Traditional Festivities

A good holiday movie uses the requisite Christmas activities to advance the story, not just as set decoration. In addition to the aforementioned heart-to-hearts in front of the Kentsbury Inn's Christmas tree and during the carriage ride back from the town's parade, there's a gingerbread house contest that reveals more than James' passion for architecture (Tveit's skills were rusty: "I think the only gingerbread house I ever built was in fifth grade," he says). Even the caroling, led by the mayor/Anna's friend Sara (fellow Broadway vet Krystal Joy Brown), serves a purpose other than simply making us wonder how well James should sing. "It was definitely a question," Tveit admits. "I thought, maybe James can sing, he's just a bit reluctant to do so. So my focus was more about him being a little late to the game. I think that's what pays off: When I finally do join in, it's at a time where he's gone through some changes and Laura's character has clearly affected him in a way that he feels comfortable enough to do that now."

The Christmas Eve Ball

It all builds to this. Naturally, Osnes — who earned the first of her two Tony nominations starring in Rodgers + Hammerstein's Cinderella, with Clark as her Fairy Godmother — took lead on choreographing the climactic dance. “One afternoon, we spent about an hour out in front of our inn, in the parking lot, staging this waltz in street clothes,” Tveit recalls with another laugh. “People from the crew were walking by, turning their heads, not knowing what we were doing.” On the day they shot it, their efforts stopped the show: “It was a point of pride for us," he says.

Equally applause-worthy is Osnes' sparkly MAC Duggal gown, one of 10 options the costume department considered. Says Coppin, "It was the second dress we put on her, and we never tried the other eight. We were like, 'It's Grace Kelly. It's Cinderella. It's perfect." (That's true; it has pockets.)

A New Countdown to Christmas Classic

We predict this movie will be in rotation for years to come. "I hope so," says Tveit. He discovered just how popular Hallmark's holiday movies are when his father shared that a couple of his golf buddies were "very surprised and very excited" to hear that he'd be doing one. "That just goes to show the wide reach of these and how many people love them. Because it's a great thing, right? You get to come together and tune into these great stories with your family. If this can become a part of people's holiday experience and they want to see it [every year], that's a very special thing to be a part of." Especially if One Royal Weddingwere to get the greenlight. "We mentioned it to the writer, that we'd have the whole plot of the next film already worked out," he says. "So whenever they want to start filming, let us know."

One Royal Holiday, Movie Premiere, Saturday, October 31, 8/7c, Hallmark Channel

Link to full article at tvinsder.com HERE

#interviews #aaron tveit #link #hallmark movies #one royal holiday #countdown to christmas #hallmark channel #photo preview

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queenmylovely · 5 years

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Vote of Confidence

Summary: Brian may x fem!reader. After attending your new boyfriend’s first show, things get hot, namely Brian’s cheeks from all the blushing.

Word Count: 6.7k

Warnings: super fluff, awkwardness, cussing, smut (18+ marked with ***)

A/N: Here’s the aforementioned olive oil (as in extra virgin) Brian fic! Thank you @supersonicfreddie for helping me with a decision at the beginning, and @musicgirlyy for beta-reading!!I hope you enjoy, and any feedback including likes, replies, reblogs, messages, and asks are greatly appreciated! Especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing!

Request: Is it okay if I request Bri and reader losing their virginity together and he’s being a lil innocent bb?

Masterlist

(this has gotta be my fav Bri look)

☆☆☆

Standing in a crowd of sweaty, drunk people isn’t something you’d usually willingly do. It was worth it in this case, though. The boy you had recently started dating, well it had been a few weeks actually, was performing with his band, and you were at the pub to watch.

The two of you had met in a physics lecture because it was his major and your minor. He had been a big help with studying for the tests, especially midterms, and the two of you had grown to be good friends by finals. You had parted ways at break with the promise of getting coffee to catch up in the new year.

That coffee date that you weren’t sure was a real date lasted about six hours. And when Brian walked you home and kissed you on your doorstep, you knew it was the real thing. It was now a few weeks since then, and although it was still the middle of winter, at least the sun was out for longer and longer each day.

Anyway, you were here now, at the first concert of Brian’s you had been to. Apparently, he had considered inviting you during the last semester, but chickened out each time. When he had told you that, you had laughed and kissed him on the cheek, telling him that you thought it was cute he had been nervous.

You were anxiously waiting in the crowd for the band to come on. Brian hadn’t told you much about what to expect, other than they were a rock band called Queen, which you loved the preposterousness of. You had met his band mates before apparently, though at the time, he just called them friends. Each had been really kind to you, and you wondered how all these seemingly shy guys (well, except for that Roger) would be on stage.

Before long, the lights turned down and the band came out. Freddie, the singer, you learned as he walked up to the microphone stand, was wearing a skintight jumpsuit with flowing arms and bell bottom legs that was completely made out of shiny black satin. John (or Deaky as you had been told to call him), the bassist, was wearing something similar, but a little less revealing; a black satin suit with a white satin shirt underneath that was unbuttoned to the middle of his chest. You caught a glimpse of Roger right before he sat down at the drums and he was wearing a patterned black and white shirt that was completely unbuttoned, leaving his chest and stomach exposed to the crowd. Finally, Brian walked onto the stage and your jaw dropped.

The handsome, dorky, lanky, physics student that you had been dating was completely gone, and in his place was a beautiful, confident, intimidating, glam, rock god. If it hadn’t been for his curls, you might not have believed it was him. He was wearing this gorgeous white blouse with black accents and ruffles that framed his neck and chest. His eyes were even more striking than usual, as they were outlined with a black eyeliner.

Walking across the stage, he held his guitar, that beautiful Red Special he had shown you one time at his apartment. His fingers were adorned with multiple rings, and the nails of one hand were painted white. Your eyes travelled down what seemed like the miles that his legs went on, and you were finally able to gain your composure when you saw what he was wearing on his feet. They were the white clogs he wore all the time and you were glad he wasn’t wearing platform leather boots like Deaky or Freddie or you never would’ve recovered.

As it was, you were having difficulty paying attention to the music or anything other than Brian’s hands flying across the fretboard as they started their first song. His fingers just looked so long, graceful, and beautiful. You shivered thinking about what else those fingers could do. A second later, one of Brian’s hands waved at you, and your eyes were forced from them to his face. He was looking at you a little confusedly, even as he continued to play. But, when you licked your lips subconsciously and then broke out into a smile, Brian smirked and shot you a wink. Even though he was your boyfriend, you found yourself almost swooning along with all of the other girls at the front of the stage. You heard them arguing over who the wink was for and felt proud that you were the one on the receiving end of it.

That brought you to another thought, though. Where had this brazen rockstar come from? You thought Brian had all of the reasons in the world to be confident; he was intelligent, kind, funny, beautiful, and so much more, but for some reason he was always a little nervous around you. Actually, you supposed it had to do with his lack of experience.

Over the course of your relatively short relationship, things had slowly started to heat up. You felt the sexual tension build every time you were alone together, but everything seemed so innocent from Brian’s side. When you were kissing, he would only very gently touch your face, and the first time the two of you made out, he hadn’t moved his hands from there until you took them and placed them on your waist. And that’s where they stayed for the rest of the time.

Since you were a little inexperienced yourself, you decided to clear the air during your last make-out session (during which he had moved his hands on his own, even touching your ass and breasts without prompting), which was less than a week ago.

He had been switching between kissing your jaw, cheeks, and mouth (he hadn’t ever made it to your neck yet) when you had pulled back enough so you could see his face. Seeing that a couple of curly tendrils had clouded his vision, you moved them aside and brushed your hand along his cheek.

“Brian, I need to tell you something. Nothing bad,” you amended when he started to look a little worried. You lifted his hands from where they had been resting on your ass, and Brian blushed when he realized he hadn’t moved them himself. Moving off of his lap, you knelt next to him and took his hands in yours.

“I’m telling you this because I want to be completely honest with you, not because I expect anything from you, other than understanding,” you started and Brian nodded. “I’ve never had sex. I’m a virgin.”

Brian’s brows furrowed for a second at your statement and then he asked, “Really? Not that I don’t believe you, I do, but you just seem so… experienced.”

“I’ve had experience with the things we’ve been doing, and a couple other things, but never sex,” you explained and he had a thoughtful look on his face.

“Well, then I think you should know I’m a virgin too,” Brian told you, looking at your intertwined hands instead of your face. He hadn’t been sure if he was going to tell you because he had been worried you’d want someone with as much experience as yourself, but your openness and honesty led him to want to be the same way with you.

You lifted one of his hands and kissed it softly, which brought his eyes to you. “Thank you for telling me, Brian. I’m glad we told each other.”

“Me too,” he agreed, and then kissed you softly on your cheek. You followed his lips and kissed him for real, eventually moving onto his lap again. Instilled with a new sense of closeness and even a bit more confidence, Brian lips moved to your neck that night, and left their very first set of hickies along your throat, which Brian blushed at every time he saw them after.

Your hand drifted down your neck, over the now almost completely faded marks that Brian had left, and you were brought back to the moment with the cheers and screaming all around you. You clapped and cheered along, missing the way Brian’s eyes had hungrily tracked the movement of your hand down your neck.

On stage, he knew what he was doing. He was experienced and knew how to please a crowd and play his guitar expertly, artfully. And it made him feel more confident in other aspects; he was able to flirt with you and think about you in ways he normally would have been too embarrassed to do. Usually, you were the one to flirt with him, loving the way his cheeks pinkened and he stammered over his words. He was glad you were okay with his nervousness, you had even called it cute, but he had hoped that some day soon he would be the one making you feel flattered and flustered. He just hadn’t thought that it would finally happen at one of his concerts.

The concert continued, and you slowly shifted your gaze away from just Brian to watch Roger and Deaky’s playing, and the absolute show of its own that was Freddie singing. You danced and swayed along with the music, losing yourself in it along with the rest of the crowd. The only thing that brought your attention away from it was when you looked at Brian for longer than a second, still in awe of him.

As the night went on, your looks lingered for longer and longer, and each time he made eye contact with you, you swallowed and felt a new heat in your body that didn’t have anything to do with the large number of people surrounding you.

Brian noticed the way you were acting, and was not unaffected by it himself. He saw the way your eyes had darkened over the hours, how you shifted your legs every few minutes, and how your chest heaved lightly every time he caught your eye. Just knowing that you were so affected by him made his mind wander (luckily playing was second nature to him) and made it a little more than necessary to keep his guitar close to his body.

By the encore, you were actually biting your lip and thinking to yourself that you were almost as turned on just watching Brian play as you ever had been making out with him. The concert ended with raucous applause and you headed to the offstage door where you had planned to meet Brian.

Just as you knocked on the door, Brian opened it and took your raised hand, pulling you into the hallway with him. It seemed that the confidence hadn’t left and he pushed you (still gently) against the wall, holding your face securely in his hands, and kissed you passionately. You moaned in surprise but kissed back with the same feeling. Your hands rested on his chest, feeling the ruffle of his shirt against your fingers, which you then grabbed to keep him close to you. The kiss went on for as long as you could handle not breathing, and when you broke apart, you stared into each others eyes and then broke out laughing as you tried to catch your breath.

You were still a little caught in your giggles when Brian turned his attention to kissing your neck sweetly, taking the path that the faint hickies created.

“You guys were amazing up there. Especially you. I- um- you’re- you play so beautifully,” you said, getting distracted by his hot mouth on your throat.

Brian smirked against your neck and said in between kisses, “Thank you. I think- we should- go back- to your place- instead of- the bar- with the others.”

“Oh- okay. Should we- should we go say hello to the boys first?” you asked, not knowing how much more of this you could handle without completely melting in the hallway.

“Sure, let’s,” he straightened up next to you and offered you his hand, which instead of taking, you placed around your shoulders. You wrapped your opposite arm around his waist, wanting a little support because your knees were a little weak with all that was going on.

The two of you walked the short distance to the dressing room, where the others were now dressed in their street clothes, which for Roger and Freddie weren’t much less bold than their stage clothes. Deaky, on the other hand, was in a button down short sleeve t-shirt and jeans.

Since you had met them all a couple of times, they greeted you warmly when you walked in the room.

“Right, well I’ll change and then we can go. You’ll be good here, love?” Brian asked you after everyone said hello.

“Yeah I’ll be fine,” you assured him with a nod. He grabbed his bag and then walked into the little attached bathroom.

“So, Y/N, what did you think of the show?” Deaky asked you with a smile. You always appreciated how nice to you he was, even back when you and Brian were just becoming friends.

“It was absolutely amazing! I don’t go to many concerts, but this was the best I’ve ever seen. All of you were incredible,” you gushed.

“Thanks, but the question our dear Deaks should have asked is what has got you and Brian all hot and bothered? Have a little rendezvous in the hallway?” Roger asked you with a smirk. You liked Roger, but he could be a bit of a nosy prick sometimes. “Roger, I’m sure our innocent little Y/N and Brian were doing no such thing. And even if they were, it would be none of your business,” Freddie told off Roger, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as if to protect you from him. He lead you across the room from him and then leaned in and whispered in your ear, “Don’t worry, darling, you can always tell me about your escapades with Brian. I’m an excellent secret-keeper.”

You giggled at what he said, not entirely convinced that it was true.

“Oi, what are you two whispering about? If it’s about me, I have a right to know,” Roger said, pointing an accusatory finger at you and Freddie.

“Don’t worry Rog, there’s nothing interesting enough about you that one would have to whisper instead of say aloud,” Deaky said from his spot chilling on the couch and you and Freddie cracked up.

Just as Roger was about to get mad and go after Deaky, the bathroom door opened, hitting him in the shoulder.

“Oh, sorry Rog. I didn’t know you were there,” Brian said in a calm voice, patting him on the shoulder. That seemed to diffuse Roger’s anger for the moment.

Brian walked over to you, now dressed in a t-shirt that was probably a size too small on him and black velvet pants. The strip of his tummy that was exposed and the way the velvet clung to his legs did nothing for your ability to breath or your weak knees.

“Ready?” you asked in a quiet voice, not trusting your voice to actually work any louder anymore.

“Aren’t you guys coming with us to the bar?” Freddie asked in confusion.

“We’re actually going to Y/N’s. It’s just been a long night,” Brian excused.

“Okay…” Freddie trailed off, putting two and two together in his brain. “Well, you kiddies have a… safe night in then.”

Your eyes widened at his implication, but you thought to yourself that it was good advice. Plus, Roger didn’t seem to understand the metaphor, as he was looking confusedly at Deaky who was ignoring him. At least not everyone knew what was going on.

“Thanks Fred,” Brian said shortly and with a pointed look. Then he grabbed your hand and walked to the door, turning his head over his shoulder to say, “Bye all,” and leaving you to wave over yours.

Once you were out of the building, Brian let you set the pace, but you didn’t slow down, instead pulling him along faster to the car. You had driven so you could drop Brian off early for sound check and come back yourself closer to the start of the show. So, you were driving now on your way to your flat, and it was probably a good thing because Brian had started to get nervous again and was tapping his foot like crazy. Neither of you had spoken about what was happening, but it seemed obvious that he was nervous for the same reason your heart was beating faster and you body was getting warm.

You reached for his hand and held it securely in yours, rubbing the back of it with your thumb. That seemed to calm him some, but every so often, his grip tightened on your hand for a couple seconds and then relaxed again.

In a couple of minutes, you reached your flat and parked, walking up to the door with Brian in tow and letting the two of you in. You made yourselves comfortable, taking off your shoes and jackets before moving to the kitchen. Brian was hungry after the show, and to be honest so were you (and it was a good idea to fuel up a little for what was to come), so the two of you washed your hands and shared an orange, just chatting about the show.

Once you were done eating, you moved to your bedroom. You didn’t live alone, but luckily one of your roommates was at her boyfriend’s and the other was visiting home for the weekend.

You closed the door behind you, just in case, and then sat on the edge of your bed, telling Brian to pick out a record to put on. He chose Sweet Baby James by James Taylor since it was one of your shared favorites and joined you on the bed. You turned so you were sitting with your legs criss-crossed and facing him, then nudged him until he did the same. As James’ sweet voice filled the room, you grabbed his right hand, studying the rings he had on. You kissed each finger that a ring was on, and then switched to his left hand, doing the same.

“I like the nail polish,” you said, still looking down at his hands.

“You do?” he asked curiously.

“Mhmm,” you confirmed, looking up to meet his eyes so he knew you were telling the truth. “And you looked absolutely gorgeous onstage. I mean, you look gorgeous every day, but not everyone holds up onstage, and you just shine.”

Brian blushed at your compliments and you reached a hand to touch his warm cheek. He tilted his head into the touch. Getting up on your knees, you pushed him back so he was leaning against your pillows and straddled his hips.

“Your hair was like a cloud and it shined when the light hit it,” you said, moving his hair slightly away from his face and then tugging gently on a couple strands on either side. Brian made a sound in the back of his throat when you did, so as you continued, you did another time.

“And your arms and legs looked so beautiful and strong,” you told him, running your hands up and down his upper arms.

“Your eyes were so piercing, it was like I was drowning in their beauty,” you said, watching as they slowly got darker and darker with each passing praise.

Reaching down to grab his hands again, you continued, “Oh and your hands, I just wanted to feel them.”

“Feel them?” Brian asked softly.

“Yes, Bri I want you to touch me, please,” you pleaded, leaning in to kiss him and letting go of his hands so he could.

***

He did so tentatively at first, holding your face to his and then moving them to your hair and the back of your neck. He mimicked your movement of pulling just a little section of your hair and you moaned in approval, so he pulled on more and you shifted your hips against his.

Next, Brian moved his hands to your waist, and pushed the hem of your shirt up a little. He ran his hands up the back of your shirt and you winced because they were colder than you expected.

“Sorry, they’re cold,” he said, removing them from under your shirt and putting them back on the clothed part of your waist.

“No, Bri, it’s okay. I’ll get used to it, and they’ll warm up. Actually, why don’t we just get rid of the obstacle,” you said and Brian didn’t understand until your shirt was halfway off your body. It was his first time seeing you shirtless, and the sight of you only in your bra made basically his entire face red. It also made his cock harder than he would like to admit, but of course, you already knew that since you were right on top of him. Smiling at his embarrassment sweetly, you moved his hands back to the now unclothed part of your waist and continued the kiss.

Brian got lost in the kiss for a little bit, just moving his hands up and down your back in a way that was soothing and nice. Then, when he sucked lightly on the tip of your tongue like he had discovered you liked, you moved your hips again and his hands shot down instinctively to your ass. They stayed there, kneading the soft flesh and helping you move your hips against his, which was causing both of you to moan into each other’s mouths.

Breaking the kiss, you moved down instead to kiss his neck, locating his sweet spot that you had found the week before. You sucked and kissed on it until he was softly moaning, his grip had moved and tightened around your waist, and you could feel him completely hard underneath you.

Then, you played with the hem of his shirt, waiting until he nodded before you helped him take it off. You went back to kissing his neck, but this time, you started moving down to his chest and kept going until you reached his stomach, kissing along the part that had been exposed by his little shirt. When you started toying with the waistband of his pants, Brian realized what you had in mind and grabbed your shoulders to lift you back up to him.

“No, um, no you can’t do that,” Brian said in a shaky voice.

“Why not?” you asked, confused. “It’s really fun, I can show you.”

Brian subconsciously bucked his hips at your words but held strong, “From what I’ve heard, I wouldn’t last a second doing that, and I think- I think we both… don’t want that.”

“Fine,” you said, pouting a little before settling back over his crotch. Brian hissed at the contact and moved you off of him to the side.

You were about to protest when he spoke up, albeit quietly, “There is one thing that I would, um, like to try, and I think, maybe, that you might, um, like it too.”

He was blushing like crazy as he said it, and he was fiddling with his rings as he did. He was also looking at his hands, but this time it seemed more pointed than just a nervous behavior. Then it clicked for you. He wanted to try pleasing you with his hands because you had said you wanted him to touch you.

You shivered in anticipation and smiled a little, replying, “Yeah, uh, I think I will.”

So this time, you laid back against the pillows and Brian moved over you, kissing you deeply. It was a new position for the two of you, as usually you were straddling him or you were just lying facing each other. But this was very nice, especially when you spread your legs so Brian could fit more easily between them, and he rocked his crotch against your core. Yep, this was definitely the way to go.

After another few minutes of kissing, it was Brian this time who moved down your neck. Re-darkening the marks he had left before, he then kissed down the center of your breasts, not asking to take off your bra, since he wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing that yet. (Once you weren’t wearing a bra while the two of you made out, and he swears he almost came just touching them through your shirt). Plus he figured you’d just take it off when you wanted to. So, he kissed down your stomach and then reached the waistband of your shorts. He followed the hem with his lips, moving left first, and then right before coming back to center.

Brian sat there patiently until you said okay, and he reached his two shaky hands to undo the button and pull down the zipper. Then he tugged them down your legs, leaving kisses along your thighs and then down your shins. When they were off, he moved back up your body to kiss you again, wanting to take it slow not only for you, but also for himself.

“You’ll have- to tell me,” he said in between heated kisses and you nodded.

“Um, why don’t you just put your hand here,” you said, placing his hand so his palm was just resting on your mound over the top of your panties. Brian almost groaned at the warmth and slight dampness he could feel. He started putting just a little pressure, and your breathing sped up in anticipation. Brian captured your lips again, and when you felt comfortable, you hooked your thumbs in the waistband of your underwear, waited for Brian to move his hand away, and then slid them down your legs and off, tossing them off the edge of the bed.

Brian wasn’t used to seeing anyone, let alone you, naked from the waist down, and he flushed again, his eyes flashing back and forth between your exposed pussy and the pattern of the comforter.

“Brian, hey look at me,” you told him, trying to draw him out of this spiral he seemed to be headed towards.

He made eye contact with you and you swallowed thickly when you saw how wide his pupils were blown. You wrapped your hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss you again, since that was something he didn’t have to think about doing to do well.

Then, while keeping the kiss going, you grabbed his hand in yours and brought it down again to your heat. Forming your hand over his, you pressed one finger along your folds to spread the wetness that had gathered there. Brian moaned into the kiss at the feeling. (While he hadn’t ever done this, he had heard some conversations and knew that was a good sign.)

Once that was done, you guided his index finger to your clit and started moving it in slow, gentle circles. His finger was so much different to your own or anyone else’s because of his guitar playing. You could feel the callus against your clit, and it made for a new experience that was already starting to build that wonderful pleasure.

When he seemed to get the idea, you moved your hand away and focused on the feeling. Brian kept up the movement, breaking the kiss to watch how you reacted. You kept your eyes closed, but your breathing deepened, and every so often, you gasped in pleasure.

“Whenever, um, it gets less slick, you can get your finger wet again,” you told him a little awkwardly, when the friction started to become too dry. He nodded and did as you said, immediately finding the right rhythm again.

“And you can press just a little harder and go a little faster,” you informed him and he complied, not missing a beat. The new speed and pressure made you moan and you spread your legs further, revealing more of yourself to him.

“Can I- I want to feel more of you,” he admitted, still blushing, but sure.

“Uh-huh. You can stop for a second,” you told him a little breathlessly. Your pussy had started to clench around nothing, and you were glad for his offer to do more.

Reaching down to wrap your hand around his again, you kept your legs spread and pushed the tip of his index finger so it was just inside of your opening. You guided his finger the rest of the way into you, going slow and leaving time for yourself to adjust.

“O-Okay, you can keep moving in and out, but just go slow for now. And you can keep, um, rubbing my clit when-whenever you want,” you told him, already starting to feel pleasure just from the thrusting of his finger.

Brian situated himself so that he was kneeling between your legs and started using his other hand to stimulate your clit. The combined actions were enough to have you moaning and letting out soft “ohs” whenever he came close to hitting your g-spot.

As your orgasm continued to build more and more, you knew you needed more, and tried telling him, “I want- I- need-” but you were cut off by your own gasps of pleasure.

“Do you want me to add another finger?” Brian asked you; he had been feeling the tightening of your walls around his finger and figured that’s what you wanted. As you made eye contact with him you moaned and nodded. His hair was frizzy from him shaking it away from his face so he could see you, his cheeks were a permanent crimson, his eyes were darker than you thought they could be, and his lips were plump and swollen from both your kissing and him biting them as he worked his fingers against you.

“Just- just still go slow,” you told him and he nodded in reply. He added his middle finger in tandem with his pointer finger inch by inch, keeping them both facing palm up. You moaned high and louder than before at the stretch, and Brian whined at the feeling and the sound. He was already so hard just from causing your pleasure that his tip was leaking precum, and he didn’t know how he’d actually handle being inside of you.

Over time, he sped up gradually, moving both of his hands against you in perfect unison. Your pleasure really began to grow, and you moved closer and closer to the edge. Before long, your hips were grinding down against his fingers and you were moaning out his name.

Brian didn’t understand though, and slowed his movements for a second, “What? Why are you moving so much? Am I doing it wrong? Do I need to slow down again?”

“No, no keep going,” you protested desperately and he did as you said. “I just- I can’t help it. It feels so good, Bri. Oh- oh- yes, right there!”

Without knowing what he was doing, Brian had started to angle his fingers up so they were pressing against your front wall and were firmly hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

That worked to push you right to the edge, and you exclaimed, “Oh, Brian, that- yes, oh it feels so- so-”

“Please, please come for me, Y/N, I want to see you come,” Brian almost begged you, and you were helpless to do otherwise. You hit your orgasm and came around his fingers, and Brian felt you clench on them, and could feel your clit twitch in pleasure too. He watched you ride out the high, your back arching, eyes squeezing shut, moaning out his name, and Brian couldn’t help but moan and whimper himself, so in awe that he was able to make you feel that good.

Your breathing was uneven as you came down, and you tried to catch your breath, but the aftershocks were still hitting you and Brian was continuing his ministrations.

“That’s- that’s good, Bri. You can stop,” you said between quick breaths. He pulled out his fingers and moved his hands, both of them glistening with your arousal.

“Oh, here,” you said, reaching for one of his hands and bringing his fingers into your mouth to clean them off.

“Oh, fuck,” Brian cursed under his breath, his hips thrusting into the air. Before you could clean the other hand off, he took it in his own mouth, testing the taste of you and moaning, knowing he was what caused your arousal.

“Well I think you can tell by my reaction, but that was very, very good for me,” you told him, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling back to look at you.

“Yeah. In fact, I don't think I’ve ever heard of someone finding the g-spot on accident,” you told him with a smile and the two of you laughed.

In another second, Brian was hungrily kissing you again, and you moaned into it, encouraging him. As he focused on your lips and tongue, you moved your hand to start pushing his pants off, and he helped you take them the rest of the way down. The two of you were about to take his boxer-briefs off when you thought of something.

“Wait, remember what Freddie said,” you told him quickly.

He jumped up and said, “Oh, you're right. Do you –“

“There’s some there’s a box in the bathroom. Stacy bought them and said we could all share,” you told him and he dashed to the bathroom to grab the condom.

He returned and you helped him shimmy his underwear down and he went to work opening the condom. At the sight of his red and swollen cock, you exhaled sharply and your eyes widened in anticipation.

Brian rolled the condom on, which luckily he knew how to do himself, and climbed back onto the bed with you. Realizing you still had your bra on, you unhooked it and took it off, revealing your breasts to Brian. Groaning deeply, his cock twitched at the sight. You laid down and pulled him on top of you. Resting his legs between yours, you held him to you with your arms around his shoulders. You started kissing again, just warming up to the feeling of being naked with each other.

You moved your hands down to his lower back and pushed him so he would grind down onto you. His cock slid against your folds and you groaned in unison at the feeling. Once his cock was thoroughly slick, you held his waist to stop him, and reached a hand down in between you to grasp his cock.

“Are – are you sure?” he asked breathlessly, waiting for your answer, but wanting to know that this is what you wanted too.

“Yes. I’m sure,” you told him. Then, you placed a soft kiss on his lips and guided his cock slowly into you.

Brian held himself back from moving too quickly, straining a little at the effort because you felt so good and tight around him. Once he was fully seated inside you, he held still and the two of you gasped when your walls clenched around him. Giving yourself a moment to adjust to the stretch, you breathed deeply and the slight pain subsided.

“Okay, you can move,” you told him, keeping one hand on his lower back to brace yourself and moving the other to the back of his neck to keep him with you.

Brian started moving, but slowly, remembering what you had told him about his fingers. He thrusted in and out, moaning at the feeling of your heat encapsulating him over and over again. As he sped up bit by bit, the friction became more and more pleasurable, especially since you were already sensitive from your orgasm, and soon you were moaning along with him.

Wanting to help his ability to move and the pleasure he was feeling, you wrapped your legs up around his waist, so he could push deeper into you. When he did, his hips stuttered and he whined. Moving your hand from his lower back, you reached next to you and grabbed one of his, holding it tightly in your own. With the other, you pulled him even closer to you so that your chests were pressed together and there was no longer anything else in the world besides each other. You leaned up and kissed along his neck, marking it lightly with your teeth so they would match the new ones he left on you and you would both know that he was yours and you were his.

Brian’s thrusts became sloppy, and you knew he was close. He searched for your mouth and found it, kissing you messily, but with so much intensity you were almost seeing stars. Knowing just what would tip him over the edge, you clenched around him, drawing him further into your heat.

He came with a stutter of his hips and a cry of, “Oh- oh, Y/N, oh my- oh my-!” and you were proud to have made him feel as good as you did. You kissed his face sweetly as he came down, hips still lazily thrusting into yours.

With a final sigh, he dropped his arms and rested on top of you, trying not to crush you under his weight.

“That was- oh my gosh, Y/N…” Brian trailed off, not quite able to put into words how he felt since his brain was still a little fuzzy from his orgasm.

“Yeah, it was pretty great,” you agreed and then laughed along with him.

“Oh, but did you, you didn’t come again, did you?” he asked, a little sheepish that he didn’t last very long.

“No, but that’s okay. The one orgasm was… fantastic,” you said, searching for the right word. “Plus, it’s not going to happen every time for either of us, but I think it’s worth it just to feel this with you,” you said, gesturing between the two of you.

Brian nodded and then seemed to think he should pull out, and moved to do so, but you told him, “You don’t have to pull out yet, let’s just stay here for a minute.”

So you did, placing soft kisses on each other wherever you could reach. Once Brian had softened completely and you started feeling a little fidgety, you both got up and took turns cleaning up in the bathroom. Back in your bedroom, you both redressed partially, Brian just wearing his underwear and sweatpants he pulled from his bag, and you putting on his shirt, which because it was so small on him, fit you like a regular shirt, and your underwear.

***

At some point, the album had clicked off, so Brian flipped it over and started the second side. Then, climbing under the covers together, you cuddled up so he was on his back and you had one leg in between the two of his, laying half on top of him. You played with a couple of his curls, twisting them together and undoing them repeatedly as he ran his hand up and down your back.

“You know what else I liked about your performance?” you prompted.

“What’s that?” he asked, looking down at you.

“How confident you were. You looked so sexy and bold and gosh, the way you were looking at me, I was a mess down there in the audience,” you explained to him. You continued softy, “And now that you seem to be pretty good at this whole thing, maybe you could transfer some of that confidence offstage…?”

You kissed the corner of his mouth softly so he would understand that you were saying all of this lovingly, without meaning any criticism.

“I think, um, that that would be doable. Although there are still things that I don’t know how to do,” he said, smiling cheekily down at you, and this time it was your turn for your cheeks to heat up.

“Well, I think I should be able to teach those to you too, or we can just figure them out together,” you said with a grin that Brian matched before pulling you in for another soft, but excited kiss.

★★★

Permanent taglist: @riseetothesun @caborhapch @drowseoftaylor

If you would like to be added to a taglist, just send me a message or ask!

Reminder that my requests are open! If you would like something in a sort of one shot format/length or blurb, etc. send it in! Who knows, it might end up a miniseries too! I’ll write for any of the Borhap or Queen boys (Freddie platonically), Lucy, Patrick Murray, Gardner Langway and adult!Tim Murphy or possibly any of the other characters these people have played if I know enough about them!

#I liked the idea of an innocent bri but I think my inner sub jumped out with all of the mention of confidence and such whoops #hope y'all enjoy #lol rog is both funny and annoying in this one but what can you do?#queen #brian may #bri #smut #fluff #oneshot #queenmylovely #vote of confidence #brianmay #brian may x reader #brian may smut #queen x reader #bri x reader #brian #may

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minvaleria93 · 4 years

Text

A Better Man • Chapter 1

A story of the members where are all married and have kids.

Words counted for this chapter • 2865

The yellow ball of fire changed to hues of orange, and then almost tangerine. It merged with the sky, like juice-mix dissolving in a glass of water. The clouds were cotton-candy, as though they blushed at the warm touch of the sun. Silhouettes of birds flew home across a sky that was now magenta; and the sun was half into the water, but its reflection in the sea made it look complete. The mauve of the dusky sky intensified, and in just a while, the biggest star had set, giving way to a thousand others.

The thrill of excitement hung in the air, as people stood outside the large building. "Over here!" A young girl, Lily called out to her friend, Sophia to join her and the rest of their friend group.

"Made it!" Sophia bounced off the ground with a big smile on her face.

"Oh my god," Lily clapped her hands. "I can't wait to see them!"

"I don't think I'm ready, but I know I am" said another one of their friends. Lily, Sophia and the others nodded.

Just then, the tall glass doors were thrown open by men dressed in black with the word SECURITY written on their t-shirts. And the crowd entered the building, showing their tickets and passes.

The crowd was a river of people, everyone moved in the same direction through the venue. There were only joyful faces as they head toward the hall for the greatest concert on earth - music to fill them chocked full of adrenaline pumping happiness. They moved not like pebbles in a jar, but like water molecules flowing smoothly past one another, friends stood together with fingers entwined.

The only light in the hall came from the stage, and there were a few people already claiming their seats. Surrounding the mosh pit were metal bars, then a few steps. To the back there was a balcony curving around the gall and then under that there were all the merchandising stalls.

••••

The dressing room looked more a hotel suite than a backstage dressing room. The floor was covered in a deep red carpet, the white walls had frames of artists and their more popular albums. The two black sofas facing each other had a small coffee table sitting between them, and there were four dressing tables with mirror that had lights on the frames. And around the corner were the changing rooms.

"Where is Jin's blazer?" A young woman with long, brown hair that was loosely curled asked, as she looked through the suitcases. She had a porcelain-like face with brown-hazel eyes and plum lips. She wore black high waisted jeans with a silver ad gold chain attached to her belt, a Chanel cropped blouse and black and white trainers. This was Aliyah, a celebrity fashion designer. Aliyah was part Korean from her father's side and part british from her mother's, and she spent most of her time in London due to her studies, but her parents and family moved to Seoul after she started university.

A young woman with ginger hair stepped forward and held a black blazer that was inside a bag towards Aliyah. "Found it," she said.

Aliyah sighed in relief and got to her feet. "Jin," she called out. "Blazer."

A tall and slim young man with jet black hair, a warm undertone and brown eyes reached his hand out and took the blazer. Jin was the member of the group with a mother-mode personality. He cared for each of the members, was very confident in himself and his dad jokes never failed to make the members laugh. And his wife was no different. Anna was the female version of her husband. And they were also amazing parents to their two children.

Aliyah turned around to the four young men sitting on the leather sofas. There was Namjoon, who was the leader. He had a fair complexion with light blonde hair and brown eyes. He was also a deep thinker, emotional, analytical, and perfectionist. He was incredibly intelligent. But he didn't boost himself for that reason. He was the humble-type of person with many mature thoughts and ideas which lots of people of his age never bothered. He was also a father to a beautiful little girl, and was married to Aliyah's best friend, Andrea.

Sitting next to Namjoon was J-Hope, who had dark brown eyes and a light shade of brown hair. J-Hope was very friendly and knew how to make people laugh. He was also a good listener and an amazing father.

Opposite the two sat Jimin and Taehyung. Jimin had a pale mix between light blonde and golden yellow hair, light-honey-like skin tone and brown eyes. Jimin was the member of the pack who showed great personal warmth and made others feel valued and cared for. And like J-Hope he was also funny and friendly.

And sitting next to Jimin was Taehyung. Taehyung was extremely friendly and cheerful. He had dark hair, brown eyes and a warm undertone. He was a carefree guy who just liked to do what he wanted to without any worry, and was a father of twins; a boy and a girl.

The door to the dressing room swung open and in walked two young men, one had dark brown hair, a warm skin complexion and brown eyes. That was Jungkook. He appeared shy, but beneath that he could also be a clown if he wanted to be funny. He was also an amazing father to a beautiful girl and a handsome boy.

Aliyah reaches for her phone to check the time, when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. "I'm here to collect my reward?"

"Reward?" She frowned.

"I," Yoongi began, as he spun her around. "Got you a Dr. Pepper and Chocolate Buttons. Pay up." Aliyah laughed as she pushed herself up onto her tiptoes and kissed Yoongi on the lips. She was so happy that their last stop before going back to Seoul was London because not having to see Yoongi for months and being away from Seoul made her feel homesick.

••• flashback five years ago •••

The party was going smoothly. Guest were having a good time and enjoying themselves. The light of day drained away, giving way to the velvety dark of the winter night, the air became colder, and the sky looked like a thick blanket was floating in the air.

"Just please, don't make a scene," a girl with loose, brown curls said. She had a fair complexion with brown eyes, her black dress reached just above the knee and showed off her figure.

"I won't," Aliyah held her hands up. Andrea held her gaze for a moment as if she expected her friend to laugh or catch a flicker in her brown-hazel eyes.

They walked though the crowd and greeted a few people on their way, until they reached a group of men with their backs turned to them. "Babe," Andrea chimed, and a tall young man turned around and his face lit up.

"Beautiful," he smiled at Andrea and kissed her on the cheek.

"Babe, remember Aliyah?" She asked. "I told you about her."

"Yes, of course."

Andrea wrapped an arm around her friend and looked at her boyfriend with a smile on her face. "Namjoon, this is Aliyah, she works as a fashion designer," she said. "Aliyah, this is Namjoon." Aliyah couldn't wrap her head around where she heard that name before and it made her brain ache. "He is part of a group called BTS," Andrea said, and Aliyah snapped her finger in her head. That's where you knew that name from.

Andrea's boyfriend looked at Aliyah and smiled as he held his hand out towards her. Aliyah looked at his hand for a second and then met his eyes again. There was a very intense pause in the air that made Andrea look at her friend with a worried expression.

Aliyah shook Namjoon's hand with a straight face. "Namjoon," she began with a serious tone. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"It's lovely to meet you as well," Namjoon smiles nervously.

Aliyah felt the young man's grip on her hand loosen, but she was not done with him just yet. She tightened her grasp on him. "Just to make one thing clear, Andrea is like a sister to me" she spoke in a low and calm tone while smiling softly at him. "So if you hurt her, I will make it look like you had an accident."

To say that Namjoon was taken aback by what Aliayh said would be an understatement. He felt a shiver run down his spine after those words left her lips. He swallowed and slowly nodded his head.

Aliyah tried to keep up her act a little longer, but watching as Namjoon's eyes shifted from her to Andrea as if he was screaming for help made her burst out laughing.

It's been a while, and Aliyah walked around the ballroom until she stopped at the balcony and stepped outside. The bitter breeze kissed her skin making goosebumps to appear on her arms and a shiver run down her spin. The orchestra had turned their music sheets over to the next song and the sound of a grand piano, violins and cello flooded the room.

The view was beautiful. The whole city came to life with explosion of illuminating radiation from well lit tall buildings, giant neon screens, bill boards, streets lights and streaming beam lights emanating from steady flow of vehicular traffics. It was a shame no snow had fallen during her time in Seoul. She really wanted to see what this city looked like covered in snow before she left for England after Christmas and New Year were over.

"The party is back here."

Aliyah turned on her heel at the stiffen unfamiliar voice, and found herself looking at a young man. He was slim and taller than her, and the way he held himself made him incredibly intimidating. His presence was intoxicating, and as she took him in she had to admit that he was in the fact, the most handsome person she'd ever seen. He wasn't just handsome, he was gorgeous. He had dark brown hair that fell just above his eyes, cheekbones and a jawline.

"Really? I thought it was back here," she replied sarcastically.

A chuckle escaped the young man's lips as he tucked both hands in his pocket and stepped outside on the balcony. "Then I've been attending the wrong party this whole time," he said, looking down at her.

Aliayh laughed and held her hand out towards the young man. "I'm Aliyah Lyon," she introduced herself.

The young man took her hand in a firm grip and shook it. "Min Yoongi," he replied.

"In that case,Yoongi, I want you to know,"she sighed. "I've alerted the police."

Yoongi looked down at the girl with his head slightly tilted to the side and confusion written over his face. "Why?" He asked slowly.

"Because it's illegal to be this handsome."

Yoongi tilted his head up towards the sky and laughed. The sound made her heart skip a beat and her ears ring with the chocolate velvety tone of his voice. He looked back down at her, still laughing and she could see that the laugh was not just in his face, but also in his eyes. It was a laugh from within.

••• end of flashback •••

Twenty minutes passed, and the people were starting to get frustrated because nothing was happening. A few started to ask the security and staff members around for information, but they were all given the same answer and told to return back to their seats.

"It was supposed to start by now," said Thomas. "Right?"

"What is going on?" Sophia panicked. "Do you think they will canc?—"

"DON'T EVEN FINISHED THAT SENTENCE!" Lily and Michael exclaimed.

••••

"Alright," said Sejin, as he rubbed his hands together. "Are you guys ready?"

Jin scoffed as he stood up from the sofa and adjusted his blazer. "Worldwide handsome always ready," he said. Yoongi exhaled a sigh, making Aliyah laugh as they followed the others out.

The walk from the dressing room to the stage wasn't too long. On the way they met a few passers and workers who they waved and said hello to. Aliyah walked alongside Yoongi, their fingers intertwined as they followed closely behind Jin and Namjoon.

They finally came to a stop, and two bodyguards stood a few feet away from the group. "Alright," said Namjoon. "Hands in." Everyone held their arms out in the circle. "Hana, du, se! bangtan bangtan!" He said.

(One, two, three)

"Ba ba batang!" Everyone chanted together, and dropped their hands. This was something they did before every show.

Yoongi reached his hand out towards Aliyah and tugged her away from everyone. He cupped her warm and rosy cheeks in his hands and kissed her. Aliyah, no matter how many times Yoongi would kiss her it felt as if they kissed for the first time all over again.

Jimin and his fiancé, Sunny stood to one side and played out their handshake that ended with a kiss.

As for the other members wives they couldn't attended the concert, or even the tour because they had to look after the children.

••••

The tension in the crowd began to make everyone feel impatient, and no matter who they asked that worked at the event they got no answers what so ever. It's been a few minutes since Thomas came back from asking one of the staff members about what's was going on and just as he was about to ask again a few lights turned into a neon blue while the other lights went off. The arena fell silent and the crowd froze as excitement slowly began to grow.

"If you need anything let any of the staff know," said Sejin, and the two girls nodded before he walked out of the room.

The lounge was massive. There was a bar with a bartender working behind the table, the lights hung down from the ceiling, there were a few people here and there taking in small groups and each of them greeted Aliyah and Sunny.

The two girls walked around the large leather sofa and stepped outside on the balcony just as the sound of drums and trumpets played just as the countdown started, and the arena, like a bomb exploded with cheering fans.

On the stage, the large screens showed a picture of each of the members one after the other with fire erupting from the sides of the stage and lights changing. And the song began with J-Hope talking away the first verse.

"Yeah nuga nae sujeo deoreopdae

I don't care maikeu jabeum geumsujeo yeoreot pae

Beoreokhae jal mot igeun geosdeul seutekki yeoreo gae

Geodeuphaeseo ssibeojulge seutaui jeonyeoge

World business haeksim

Seoboe 1sunwi maejin

Manhji anhji i clat gachil mankkik

Joheun hyanggie akchwin banchik

Mic mic bungee"

Aliyah cheered with Sunny and the crowd, but her smile grew even wider when Yoongi stepped forward, fixing his tie before he sang his verse.

"Mic mic bungee

Bright light jeonjin

Manghal geo gatassgessjiman I'm fine, sorry

Mianhae billboard

Mianhae worldwide

Adeuri neom jalnagaseo mianhae eomma

Daesinhaejwo niga moshan hyodo

Uri konseoteu jeoldae eopseo podo

I do it I do it neon maseopsneun ratatouille

Hok baega apeudamyeon gosohae

Sue it"

The lights in the arena began flashing as Taehyung sang the Pre-Chorus first.

"Did you see my bag? (where?)

Did you see my bag? (where?)

It's hella trophies and it's hella thick (hella thick, hella thick)"

Jungkook stepped to the front of the stage, and the girls in the arena seemed to have forgotten how to speak.

"How you think bout that

How you think bout that

Haterdeureun beolsseo hageul tte"

"Imi hwanggeumbit hwanggeumbit naui seonggong

I'm so firin' firin' seonghwabongsong"

Sang Jimin right before Jin sang his verse as well.

"Neoneun hwanggeuphi hwanggeuphi domang syongsyong"

Sunny and Aliayh sang along to Jungkook's verse along with all the other screaming fans.

"How you dare

How you dare

How you dare"

And J-Hope, Aliyah and Namjoon joined him in on the chorus.

Nae sone teuropi a neomu manha

Neomu heavy nae du soni mojalla

MIC Drop

Bal bal josim

Neone mal mal josim

Lodi dodi a neomu bappa

Neomu busy nae onmomi mojalla

MIC Drop

Bal bal josim

Neone mal mal josim"

As the song progressed, the members of the group broke into a dance routine and the atmosphere in the arena became more hyped. Everyone moved to the beat of the song and it didn't matter if they sat, stood or danced on the side— no one could keep their bodies still. It was as though magic spells were leaving the speakers in the arena.

Just as the song was about to end the light lowered as sparkles explored from the corners of the stage. "Let's get this party started, ARMY!" Jimin shouted in his microphone and the crowd cheered in excitement.

#reblog #wattpad #bts #imagine #bts army #bts yoongi #bts x reader #bts imagines #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #kim namjoon #bts namjoon #park jimim #bts jimin #bts jhope #bts jin #bts taehyung

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metalbatandzenko · 4 years

Note

All of them. All the questions.

oof

1. Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

I have sliding doors on my closet so it’s one open one closed.

2. Do You Have Freckles?

Nope!

3. Can You Whistle?

Nope (:

4. Last Song You Listened To.

I...don’t remember lmao, I think it was 6 Inch by Beyonce

5. What Is Your Favorite Color?

I don’t know if I have one tbh.

6. Relationship Status.

Currently juggling seven reply guys bc rona has everyone acting out of line, but single.

7. What Is The Temperature Right Now?

46º

8. Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yes sdkjfhdlkf

9. How Many Followers?

215.

10. Zodiac Sign.

Aries/Aries/Cancer.

11. What Is Your Eye Color?

Brown.

12. Take A Vitamin Daily?

No.

13. Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yes, usually it’s Mitski or songs from musicals because you know. Former theater kid.

14. What Books Are You Reading?

The Chronology of Water by Lidia Yuknavitch.

15. Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“As in earlier days” from the poem The Walk by Thomas Hardy

16. Favorite Anime?

OPM is the only anime I watch. Being Japanese American and fem aligned means having. Not great associations with anime tbh.

17. Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

I honestly can’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone

WAIT YES I DO

It was November 23rd and my little cousin and I watched Over the Garden Wall. Both of us cried at the end.

18. Do You Collect Anything?

I have a knife collection and an old rock collection from when I was younger. I also unintentionally have a major makeup collection. My lipstick collection is borderline embarrassing. In my defense it started in 7th grade.

19. What Did You Have For Lunch?

I uh. I didn’t have lunch skfjhdsljfh

20. Do You Dance In The Car?

I do!

21. Favorite Animal?

Dude I fucking love crows.

22. Do You Watch The Olympics?

Some of them! My mom was really athletic growing up (as in one of those kids that plays a sport every season in high school), so she watches a lot of them. We tend to watch figure skating (which I know little about but have strong opinions on), gymnastics, synchronized swimming, track, and judo.

23. What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Usually I’m in bed by 11 but I don’t go to sleep until 2am. Recently I’ve been getting to sleep at 7am.

24. Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

It is currently three in the morning so no akslkjsahd

25. Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Ocean. I grew up in Northern California near the coast, and now I’m in a landlocked state. And you can kind of feel it, you know? The air doesn’t smell like salt and redwoods, the mountains aren’t there to hold up the sky so you just feel it pressing down on your chest. I miss the ocean.

26. Favorite Tumblr Blog?

I don’t know if I have a favorite. erikkillmongerdontpullout is funny and insightful, and I love dostoevskydocs’ poetry compilations.

27. Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

I grew up somewhere with access to really good tap water, so I’ll go with that.

28. What Makes You Happy?

Writing, spending time with friends, the feeling of dappled sunlight through the tree canopy.

29. Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

30. Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

With :)

31. Dogs Or Cats?

Dogs but I love cats too!

32. If You Were A Crayon What Color Would You Be?

Moss green!

33. PlayStation Or Xbox.

Xbox.

34. Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Ocean. I don’t trust lakes.

35. Do You Believe In Magic?

I believe in the supernatural, I don’t know if magic’s the right word. It’s more like a belief that there’s something more to the world than what we’re able to perceive.

36. What Color Shirt Are You Wearing?

Charcoal grey.

37. Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yes! I can also make my tongue into a clover.

38. Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

A bit of both. I can be pretty frugal when I’m by myself but I inherited the need to pay for everything for my friends from my mom, so if my friends are around, I will try to muscle my way into paying for everything. This is usually unsuccessful bc my friends are in the same boat.

39. Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yes. I’ve got a pink water bottle on my bedstand.

40. Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

I mean. OPM lkjshdflkjdh I’ve been hyperfixating on it, but I also am pretty obsessed with OTGW (I have been for years).

41. Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

No but I’ve had a few land on me.

42. Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Depends on the person. Overall, I’d say no, but my friends have significant sway over me.

43. Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Yes.

44. Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

I actually do. But only for short flights. Anything longer than 4 hours makes my body really hurt.

45. Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Moana.

46. Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds!

47. If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Orville Peck or Carseat Headrest.

48. Are You A Picky Eater?

Nope!

49. Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Yeah.

50. Do You Fear Thunder/Lightning?

No, I actually love them. I sleep best when it’s thundering.

51. Do You Like To Read/Write?

Yes to both. I’m a Creative Writing major so dkljfhljkdf

52. Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yeah! Though not as loud as some people, my ears are sensitive.

53. Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Wrap presents. I’m not a big fan of the smell of pumpkin, and wrapping presents is a tradition for my mom, brother and I. We’d put on some music, drink some hot chocolate, and wrap as many as possible. Then my brother and I would smuggle some wrapping paper to our rooms and wrap our mom’s gift.

54. Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Somebody that I Used to Know-Gotye (listen the song still slaps)

55. What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Winter/Spring transition. It hailed for 15 minutes straight yesterday.

56. What Are You Craving Right Now?

A popeyes 5 piece spicy chicken meal with fries and ranch. Can you tell I’ve thought about this?

57. Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

I don’t wanna.

58. What Is Your Gender?

Nonbinary, but vaguely girl adjacent.

59. Coffee Or Tea?

I think coffee. I drink more tea, but I also drink exclusively green tea and chai (like the traditional chai made with milk not the chai teabags) and I really am not a black/white/earl grey tea person.

60. Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

OOF Yeah I do

I’ve got a thousand word readers response to “The Other Boat” by E. M. Foster, a one thousand word journal about WWI, a reflective journal check in and a powerpoint I have to make for Sense and Sensibility for Brit Lit and I also am tutoring a few of my classmates

In my biological anthropology class I’ve got a Unit Exam and a few lectures to watch

For my internship/Teachers Assistant position I’ve got 17 10 page rough drafts to read and give in depth comments on as well as a portfolio I have to assemble for next year’s TA bc I’m transferring, phone meetings with the 17 students who wrote those rough drafts, and I’ve gotta compile some resources for my professor

I need to finish my memoir for my independent study and I have to present. my nonfiction memoir. to my classmates. on Zoom. I’m one of two people doing a nonfiction memoir for their independent study the rest are doing fiction, poetry or a literary analysis paper so like. My classmates are gonna be talking about their fiction piece and then I’m gonna be giving a 15 minute reading and Q&A about a piece that focuses on my trauma and being hate crimed so that’s fun.

I also gotta get some stuff done for my school’s lit magazine.

61. What Is Your Sexuality?

A known bisexual™

62. Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

I try to but I forget.

63. Favorite Pokémon?

Togepi, Blissey and Togekiss.

64. Favorite Social Media?

I hate to say it but it’s tumblr.

65. What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

If it’s longer than six stories, I’m not watching it. Unless I know they’re gonna be fun or we’re really close then I will.

66. Do You Get Homesick?

A bit. I’m still really homesick for my hometown tbh because that’s where all my family except for my parents are. I’m really close with my extended family, so being isolated from them feels like there’s an emptiness at my side.

67. Are You A Virgin?

No.

68. What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Redken Frizz Dismiss. I got those big fucking bottles you can get at Ulta where it’s like a gallon of shampoo so I haven’t had to buy any in over a year.

69. If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

I’ve slept in my car before and I will do so again most likely. Also $60 is too much to spend for a motel room.

70. Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes. Though I’m much closer to my mom than my dad.

71. Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Idk shit about movies tbh.

72. Do You Miss Your Ex?

One of them yes, the others no. But the one I miss I also acknowledge is someone who had their place in my life at the time and helped me through some rough shit, but no longer has a place in my life. I appreciate the hell out of him though, and we’re on good terms.

73. What Is Your Favorite Quote Right Now?

I’ve got two!

“I don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth” –Ophelia, Hamlet

and

"Suffering feels religious if you do it right." –Chelsea Hodson

74. What Eye Color Do You Find Sexiest?

Brown. Especially the almost black-brown eyes.

75. Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Yes to both.

76. What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Chocolate covered pretzels ljhflfsd

77. What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Toon Blast and 2048.

78. Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Holy shit I hate this question. Yes, of course I would. I don’t know why mentioning that the person is homeless is relevant. Homeless people are not somehow less worthy of CPR?? What the fuck.

79. Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

...yes

80. Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

I’ve briefly skimmed over someone’s page after meeting them but I don’t lurk.

81. Do You Like Meeting New People?

Depends on my mood.

82. Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

I hate my hands so this was pushing it.

83. Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed.

84. What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Corrected papers, walked my dog, did some writing.

85. What Do You Wear To Bed?

T-shirt and shorts.

86. List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

Dude I can’t do that I have too many, I’ve been buying makeup for 7 years and I used to work next to a sephora

My makeup routine pre-rona was:

Sephora brand moisturizer

Milk Hydrogrip primer

Fenty Pro Filtr Hydrating Foundation

Maybelline Age Rewind Concealer

Anastasia Brow Definer

Glossier Cloud Paint

Fenty Sunstalkr Bronzer

Fenty Liquid Flyliner

Fenty Flypencil

Fenty Full Frontal Mascara

Fenty Glossbomb

It’s...an expensive routine.

87. Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night to early morning.

88. List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

I answered this one and I don’t want to reanswer it tbh ldkjfhds

89. Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I genuinely can’t remember any of my dreams right now. I remember a snippet of one where I was in a cave and I looked at the wall and I could see water running down it, reflecting in the torchlight but that’s literally it.

90. Favorite Soda Drink?

I’m a big pomegranate person, so Italian soda’s my go to.

91. What Sounds Are Your Favorite?

The sizzle of meat hitting a hot wok, rain, hail, thunder, the crunch of dry leaves. I also love the sound of Simone de Rochefort’s laugh. It’s so good.

92. Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans.

93. How Do You Look Right Now?

Shitty.

94. Name Something That Relaxes You.

Skyrim ldskjfhd

95. What Tattoo Do You Want?

I really want to get my family’s mon on my ribcage and my mom’s Japanese name somewhere. I don’t know how my pain tolerance is but if I can handle it, I’d want to get at least a partial sleeve.

96. Favorite YouTuber?

Polygon and Watcher.

4 notes · View notes

indieks · 5 years

Text

Valentine's Day +2 🥀 Bang Chan

🌹 Pairing : Bang Chan x Reader

🌹 Genre : A lot of fluff, Mild angst

🌹 Word count : 8.2k

🌹 Synopsis : He had asked you out on Valentine’s day, making this special day even more special to you. However, two years later, this fourteenth day of February turns out to be one of the days the both of you hate the most. Bang Chan still loves you, and you still love him, then how come you didn't manage to be each other’s Valentine any longer?

🌹 A/N : Hello everyoooone! I’m posting just a short prompt. For the first time I'm writing for Stray Kids but reading excellent fics with Bang Chan just made me want to write as well, and for the second first time in my life, I've written a fanfic in only an afternoon, after having had a pretty nice dream and having seen the McDonald's advertisements for Valentine's day. Putting these two things together, I’ve come out with this!

Hopefully you guys will enjoy it, I’m still working on my Jooheon’s series but I think I will come to love publishing oneshots randomly like this! Thank you for ever reading my work ♥

February 14th, 2017.

It was high time he asked you out, he knew it, and he finally had braced the courage to do so. Chan wasn't sure if you reciprocated his feelings as the signs he thought he had perceived might have been wrong, or if you felt as complete as he were every time you spent time together. But still, he had to let his heart speak for itself after having muting it for so long, its hushed voice that turned inside his head whenever you were near him constricting his throat more and more as it fought to get out, to the point he had a hard time answering as you asked him :

"So where do you want to meet tonight?"

Your lovely voice at the other end of the line froze Chan under his sheets, his phone nearly crushed into his hand, and suddenly all of his bravery and his firm decision to tell you how he felt was nowhere to be found. He felt helpless like back when he was in middle school, time when he had, like a lot of children of his young age, been "in love" with a classmate, getting petrified every time she had smiled at him or held his hand in the rows.

However right now, he was twenty-one years old, in his third year of studying music at the university, and he had already written a few stories with other girls in the past before he met you, so he just couldn't let himself be petrified within his feelings like a kid. He had always been confident, smiling, comfortable around his previous crushes ; he had even had a serious relationship where he had been the one to confess first. Then how come everything in his usual self-assured behavior turned out to be M.I.A when it came to you?

He had met you during the second semester of the second year, in other words about six months ago. You had freshly landed in Seoul, flying from a foreign country, and barely speaking the language but at least comprehending its basics. He had been told that you had moved because of your parents' jobs, and that you needed someone to help you get accustomed to your new environment and make it into the third year without lacking too much.

And luckily for you, Chan had been the one to welcome you. The blonde and curly haired boy was indeed the president of the Foreign and Exchange Students association, created specifically for the ones that came by to study in Seoul for a semester or longer thanks to partnerships with universities across the world. Chan had come from Australia himself as soon as he had become a high school graduate, and quickly, he had been sent over to this small organization where a few foreign students or bilingual Koreans had helped him untangle all the administrative formalities, tutored him to perfect his mastering of the language, and taught him other little things that had made him went through his first year smoothly.

And at some point, Chan had turned out to be the one giving a hand to lost foreigners, making him the next target for the presidency of the association, as he also was quite popular and well appreciated by everyone, especially thanks to his rap trio 3RACHA from the Music association in which he had also signed in. His two friends and himself had indeed got themselves known by dropping bomb-like verses during small concerts thrown by the association at the beginning of the student council's parties, earning some kind of fame and recognition.

That is how he had dated his first long-term girlfriend ever, a student from the same major as his and a member of the Music association, her voice having mused him somehow and making him fall for her charms just like a sailor called out by the chant of a mermaid. They had started to write, record and perform collabs together, their duet's popularity skyrocketing to the top of the gossips and the admiration of everyone ; however, the two soon realized they weren't matching as well as a couple as they did in music, so the romance ended after a few months together.

And Chan had known, when he had had the chance to talk to you for the first time and for the days and weeks after that, that he indeed had just been musically on the same wavelength as his ex ; because it was you, he felt romantically in sync with.

He still remembered the dumbfounded expression twisting your traits as you had been wandering in the hallways on your first day of school, your silhouette being dragged around slowly by your stumbling feet as you had looked around in hopes to find the association's meeting room quickly, feeling the most lost you had ever been in your whole life. Studying in Seoul didn't displease you, but arriving in the middle of a year, when everyone had already made acquaintances during the past months, had automatically been putting a distance between the people in your year and yourself, not mentioning your learning of the language that had still been in process.

But what Chan was reminded of the most, was the relieved look and the wide smile you had addressed him when he had finally come to your rescue after he had amusingly observed you behind the room's windows, with your head snapping from the left to the right in search of your destination. From your first discussion around a cup of coffee spitted by the vending machine, Chan had known you were nice and easy-going, and something about how your eyes had lightened up every time he had questioned you about your country, your studies and your passions, had warmed his heart.

And from this short encounter, Chan then became your first classmate, friend, but also your every single school project's partner ; and as time had went by, you also had become the best buddies. You couldn't quite explain how come your minds just clinked the way they did, maybe the "foreign" way of thinking helping you to get closer faster as you understood, interpreted, discovered and learned the same things with the same "ooh" slipping out of your mouths each time one of Chan's friends – who had then ended up being yours – explained something to the both of you. It was funny to see that after more than a year of living on the Korean ground, Chan was still as much of a newbie as you.

If you had dreaded the sudden change in your life, the leaving of your own friends back in your mother's country, the imposing of a new culture you were excited to dig yourself in as much as it feared you, Chan had become the constant ray of sun gracing your days, with the efforts he put to spare time to study with you and help every time you needed, with his dimple smile and his dork-ish attitudes that made you laugh out loud during classes, with his funniness, tenderness but also his kind of protective aura you had grown to get the most comfortable around, as if standing or sitting next to him conveyed the same familiar and welcoming feeling you had when you reunited with your bed once home.

Soon enough, as the months had passed along with the rising of your grades up 'til the end of the year, your bloody organ had come to double in size just to welcome the huge amount of feelings you had secretly gathered for Bang Chan, just like he implicitly had for you.

So, on this February 14th, 2017, just before the start of your third year, it was with knots torturing your stomach and chills plaguing your skin that you were waiting for Chan in front of the McDonald's restaurant, eyes fixed on the usual spot next to the window that you, him and your group of friends always targeted when you decided to drop Korean food for gross burgers and fries, and you found yourself dozing off into a set of wonderings.

He knows it's Valentine's day, doesn't he? Why would he want to meet on this special day? With couples around everywhere to remind him? Why? Was it on purpose, or not?

Chan and you were already pretty close, amicably but also physically speaking, not a day being spent without an arm swung around shoulders, fingers pinching cheeks, hands grasping waists or wrists as you or him led the way through the corridors ; all those small gestures hinting at some kind of attraction you had for each other and making you suppose the day you would cross the "friends" line was approaching. Yet every time he ruffled your hair like a brother would and genuinely smiled at you after having attempted any of these physical contacts, he watered the roots of doubt you still had planted at the back of your head.

"Hi" a familiar, sweet voice pulled you down to Earth and right out of your daze, and you slightly jumped at the sight of your closest friend, his long blonde hair fighting messily on the top of his head.

"You know we're in winter, right?" you sighed as you couldn't help but compare your body wrapped into dozens of layers of fabrics to protect yourself from the icy weather, while he was just… Sporting a black windbreaker with the hood barely covering his skull.

The boy chuckled and grabbed you by the shoulders before turning you around towards the entrance, not even bothering to answer your question as he knew you had asked rhetorically, your scolding side talking for itself. He made you sit down at the famous spot, telling you he would order without letting you the time to protest.

"I know what you're eating, just trust me" he had smiled slyly before turning around.

That pretty twist of his lips faded the cold sensation your shivering body had been put through during the good ten minutes you had been waiting for him, and you eyed him with your chin in the palm of your hand, your pupils unintentionally shooting a loving stare at his silhouette waiting in line.

You liked him so much, couldn't he see?

You wondered how come he hadn't caught the signs of how weak in the knees he made you, when he would back-hug you from time to time, when he would video call you during the weekend to tell you he was bored, when he would text you as he was getting drunk with the boys to narrate you the shit they were about to do, when he would wait for you every Monday and Thursday at the end of classes, when he would ask you to sneak out the dorms as you both couldn't sleep, when he would rap in front of you with a firm tone and an aussie accent that ate your insides.

He was utterly charming, caring, reliable, nice, and moreover, he had the looks ; a perfect combination to inevitably push you over the edge and make you fall for him at some point.

"Here" the boy shook you out of your thoughts another time by sitting down in front of you with a plate where exactly the same menus were organized, the greasy scent making your twisted stomach growl in hunger.

A question about why he had ordered the exact same thing for you and for him flashed in your mind as a thunderbolt, your tastes in food being rather complementary than similar usually, however you weren't expecting the answer he gave you in spite of you not having even worded your interrogation :

"It's… It's the Valentine's day menu" he first trailed off, his eyes meeting yours for a split second before you witnessed the frown that crumpled his traits as if he was embarrassed at himself.

He definitely was, because he knew how cheesy, cringy and ridiculous his demand was about to be, but it was the only idea he had had to satisfy his urge to word you how he wanted you to be more than a friend.

"I know it must be kind of awkward to have invited you at McDonald's on this special day we can't ignore with all the heart balloons, the advertisements, the couples around us… Y-You probably are wondering what you're doing here with me tonight anyway, but I just couldn't find the proper moment to ask you something without feeling like I'm gonna die on the spot before…"

He leveled up his pupils and held your curious gaze that had pierced right through him all the while, your heartbeat speeding up like a runner for his last 50 meters on the track, the taste of anticipation gracing the front buds of your tongue.

"But as I saw this menu on the subway walls, I thought this could help me seduce you and would rise up my chances because you love it so much. So… W-Would you be my Valentine and share it with me, Y/N?"

He whined and smacked himself lightly, his eyes shooting up to the ceiling and his nose wrinkling, and the urge to laugh bubbled at the back of your throat, the happiness of knowing he mirrored your feelings and the cuteness of his actions – being a first in front of you – getting the best of you.

"So it was a date" you smiled cheekily, taken aback by your own assurance as you looked at him with battling lashes.

"Yeah, it was. Not quite romantic, but at least I'm sincere" he chuckled shyly, bringing his left hand to mess up the mop of curls atop his reddening head.

"French fries and burgers can be quite romantic to me, especially when my boyfriend and I share the exact same menu showing we get along well to this point. What are roses compared to that?" you joked.

Chan bit his lip as he heard you pronounce the word "boyfriend" and in less than a second, he was standing up to sit next to you, before his large hands grabbed your face smoothly.

"I've been craving to do that more than to eat a burger, can you imagine that coming from me?" he half-whispered and once he saw you smile in response, he took it as his green light and stole a kiss from your plump lips.

That first time you kissed, he had tasted like tangerines, probably the last thing he had eaten as a snack before he had come to meet you. And the second time, as you got out of the fast-food with your fingers intertwined with his, he had tasted like ketchup and cola ; but the two times, it turned out to be the most appetizing taste your lips had been met with, his own then becoming a source of hunger every time they grazed your mouth, as you couldn't get enough of them.

February 14th, 2018.

"That's perfect baby, one more take and we can go, I promise" Chan tenderly addressed you in the mic from the other side of the small studio he rented with the 3RACHA members, and you quickly gulped down a sigh as you nodded at him.

He was lucky you loved him enough to be patient in spite of the pile of anger that had slowly been building itself down the pit of your stomach during the last weeks. It was your first-year anniversary so you were willing to not mess everything up, still you knew you were going to talk to him about what was bothering you sooner or later.

The main problem was that as time passed by, Chan seemed to be caring for you and loving you just like he had been during the first flourishing months of your relationship, yet exclusively once it was the two of you between the four walls of the dark studio, where he would solicit your help to record a few things, complimenting your voice again and again, his eyes closed as he listened to it on a loop in his headphones.

At first, it had touched you and made you proud that he had asked you to feature on the songs he had written with the boys ; but now, it simply bit at your nerves to see him in pure ecstasy at the sound of your voice more than before you, his girlfriend, standing in front of him inside a living body. He had told you about his collabs with his ex and even had made you listen to them with a mixture of embarrassment and satisfaction on his traits as he was still proud of what they had produced, but to your pleasure, he had been on cloud 9 when you had accepted his offer of being the one to sing with him on his first real mixtape.

Because yes, Chan and his two friends from 3RACHA were soon going to drop their first mixtape on various strealing platforms, thanks to one of the foreign students your boyfriend had helped all too kindly and whl had then testified of his gratitude by talking about them to his father who had connections with people in the music industry.

And ever since that project had been on tracks, Chan had started to get literally obsessed with writing, producing and moreover, getting a glimpse of your voice in his songs. You had been flatted like every single girlfriend of a musician would have been in your boots, however, you had ignored that "working" with him could cause a new kind of frictions between the two of you, the lookout for perfection sometimes tensing him.

Still, every time he had been too harsh on you, he had always managed to make himself forgiven with apologies or surprise visits at your dorm room late at night, if you had left him alone in the studio after having told him to piss off and to look for another backup singer, "why not his ex whose voice he liked so much".

Indeed, what angered and saddened you the most, was that you had reluctantly admitted to yourself that he somehow was trying to accomplish what he hadn't with his ex, this dream of having found his muse in love and in music.

You could see he was living his best life, but you weren't sharing the same dream. You weren't the girl he was seeing in you, and as much as you loved music, as much as you appreciated how he let you enter in the intimate bubble it represented for him, you weren't aspiring to do this forever. You weren't a duet, you were a couple ; you weren't his backup singer, you were his girlfriend ; and you had to remind Chan of that.

On top of it all, to worsen your love life by making you overthink of him, Chan was practically not sleeping anymore, his days spent in classes and his nights spent composing. It had caused him to having kind of fainted in your arms more than once, the scariest time being at an underground performance, where you had thankfully been in the front row to catch him. Yet even despite his body sending him signs of how unhealthy the way he led his life was, his passion turning scarily into a fixation, he still couldn't stop himself from devoting his body and soul to it.

"Happy first anniversary, love" Chan muttered against your lips as he had entered the small recording booth where you had been standing in for a – way too long – moment, and you instantly melted under his touch, as if his fingers brushing your clothes and the skin of his mouth on top of yours absorbed any hint of your previous anger and frustration.

Oh damn, you loved him so much. But why couldn't he love you back as he simply used to, by engulfing you in the corridors, by video calling you on the weekends to spit nonsense, by drunk texting you that he was missing you, by waiting for you on Mondays and Thursdays instead of going straight to the studio with Jisung and Changbin?

You missed his friendship and his spontaneous side, as you craved for the thing you liked the most about your relationship in the first place : your ability to discuss about anything and everything for hours, like your buddy-selves had used to do before you had started to officially date.

Yet every single time he would finally grant you some of his kisses, their deepness being felt by the way his eyes bored into yours and how he exhaled intensely as if your touch never ceased to turn him upside down, you stopped being upset because of him as it reminded you that you knew, he was just being passionate.

You knew you had to support him, you knew you had to be the one to at least stick by his side as his path towards his dream was getting narrower yet clearer ; nevertheless, a selfish and hurt voice kept on whispering to you how bad you wished to go back to before this project had ever been mentioned, how bad you wished he had his attention on you and you only more often.

"Listen to this…" he mumbled in a sigh with an arm still snaked around your waist now that you were back into the mastering room, and you heard your voice chant through the speakers, making you cringe and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

Chan kissed the top of your head while chuckling at your reaction, and he pressed a touch on the keyboard that replayed the small part all over again.

"Stop it, I hate hearing myself" you whined, giving him a slight tap on the back.

"But I fucking love it" he smiled as he closed his eyes, a breath of air leaving his nostrils and passing through your hair.

"And me? Do you love me?" your despair had suddenly blurted out without asking for permission, and you felt him tense a bit before you.

Silence. You didn't move, biting your bottom lip in regret but also in anticipation, as you somehow felt relieved by having asked the question which had buzzed into your mind lately.

"Hm? What's that question baby?" Chan asked you worryingly, his fingers gently grabbing your chin to turn it away from his chest and make you look at him.

"Why don't you answer it?" you replied back, your heart playing the drums and your palms turning moist.

Seeing the look of incomprehension painting his traits, you sighed and only planted a small kiss on his lips, tiredness taking the best of you as well as deception to see he definitely was not noticing how he had said he loved your voice all the time for weeks now, but without ever saying the three words eight letters to you directly.

"Wait Y/N, what's wrong? Tell me" he ushered you, blocking you by tightening his grasp around your frame when you tried to walk away, and your butt came back in contact with the huge desk.

"Nothing, it's just… Thank you for loving my voice so much, but I would gladly appreciate it if you loved me more" you bluntly explained, not even caring about how sincere you were being, without any filter to soften your tone.

"What's that nonsense? When I tell you I love your voice it's also a way for me to tell you I love you, you should know that" he protested with a slight furrow of his eyebrows, his pupils searching for any clearer explanation on your face.

However, his answer didn't satisfy you, it did quite the reverse ; it angered you.

"How can I be sure anymore when you look at me, praise me, reach out to me only once we're in this studio?" you crossed your arms firmly. "And look, you did love Jihye's voice, but it didn't work out, so sorry if I'm doubting"

"Wait- Why are you bringing her up now? What's the real problem here? I don't understand you" Chan took a step back to have a better sight of your scowl.

You slowly exhaled your fury that was suddenly flaring your guts and making you see red out of nowhere. Every single thing you had kept for yourself was resurfacing like the lava from the pit of a volcano, and you definitely burned your boyfriend as you exploded and let it all out :

"Maybe you don't understand me anymore, just as I'm having a hard time to understand you. We're always talking about music, you're always in the studio, and seems like you're only loving me and wishing to see me behind that glass with headphones on. Because otherwise, you're unreachable, Chan. You're like in your own world, and I feel like I'm existing just when you need me to be, because if I don't reach out to you when we're not here, you don't."

The jaw of the blonde boy had slightly fallen in surprise but he was quick to clench it as he passed a hurried hand through his soft strands of hair, and he was the one to heave a sigh this time.

"Is this what it is about? I thought you were rooting for me, I thought you wanted me to talk about what was going in my head, that's our number one rule, so yeah, actually, nowadays, my head is all about that mixtape, I'm sorry. You should know this is important to me" he explained with an unreadable expression masking his face, before it switched to a hurt one as he had spoken out the last words.

"I know that, I know, but what I don't know anymore is if I am important to you as well" you retorted, a familiar burn spreading behind your eyelids and telling you the tears were coming. "You don't reassure me on that point anymore."

"But what should I do to reassure you? If you don't get the proof that I love you when I'm asking you to sing with me and when I'm praising you, then I don't know what to do? I-I'm just super confused right now because you're blurting everything out of nowhere!" his voice was a tone higher but you didn't guess that it wasn't due to some anger but rather frustration.

"It is NOT out of nowhere, Chan! It's just that you can't read my expressions anymore, nor guess what I want too! You think we're having the perfect relationship right now, but I don't!" you then broke into sobs, to the greatest surprise of your boyfriend who immediately decreased the distance between the both of you. "Look at us, we're here in this fucking suffocating studio again, even when it's our first anniversary! We don't do anything besides that, we don't do simple and random things as we used to before, and I fucking miss it… That was perfect for me"

You cried in his black shirt, your ear against the left part of his chest so that you could hear how fast his heart was beating, while he was caressing the back of your skull soothingly.

"I-I'm sorry babe, I didn't know… I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he was muttering again and again, his lips brushing the top of your head.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry" you abruptly calmed yourself down, retreating from his hug and looking up to him whose eyes were shining with worry and sorrow. "I already can guess in which position I'm putting you, and I don't want it."

"What are you talking about?" his voice had turned low, almost a whisper, as his palms came to grasp your face.

"I can't be asking desperately for your affection if you're not thinking by yourself of giving to me, I can't be asking you to go back to what we were when you're going ahead towards your dream, I-"

"No, no Y/N don't do this, please" he pleaded as he finally got where you were going, his head shaking from the left to the right. "This is not what I want"

"And I can't ask you to drop that project or to spend less time on it for me, because I know how important it is for you and for your dream, and because I love you. So I'd rather step aside, so you wouldn't have to worry about me now that I said what I said. I can't be that burden, I wouldn't forgive myself if I become the reason why you work less on your music."

You were so sad, and you had felt so sorry as you had caught the confused and hurt look on his face as he firstly had believed you weren't supporting him anymore, that you couldn't think of any other solution that the fatal one.

"I'm sorry I know I'm hard to live with these days but it'll soon be over, please stick with me a little bit longer, please…" Chan tried to reason you, his thumbs wiping your tears away. "I love you, I swear I do, it's just stress that's eating my brain, but I'll find a compromise, I swear"

"No, Chan. Because after this mixtape, will come another one, and surely multiple others because you guys are talented, and I can't ask you to lessen the time you spend working on it if this is what it's supposed to take" you denied, your puffy eyes turning away from his as you were dozing off in a black hole of despair.

"I can do it. I will do it. I spend too much time on it, I know that" he ensured. "Stay with me."

You broke into another set of tears once again, and this time, as he saw his words had hit your sensitive chord, Chan turned your face to his and kissed you with a need you hadn't known he was feeling, something so desperate, all the while leaving his eyes open to watch your face he cherished so much. Soon, your arms were around his neck and his around your waist, and soon, you were making out like two valentines far from breaking up would on their first anniversary.

February 14th, 2019.

He couldn't find a compromise as his popularity had kept on increasing, and you couldn't bear hearing him telling you "sorry" again and again as you had felt guilty every single time, so after one year and four months of dating, you had chosen to break up, for his and your own good. You loved him and you knew he loved you too, but it seemed like you weren't able to be together, at least for now.

On this Valentine's day, you were extremely lonely, a single phrase banging against the walls of your otherwise empty head : "It would have been our two years today". It was two weeks before back to school, your fifth and last year at the university being long awaited, and as much as you felt excited, you dreaded seeing Chan again.

You both had remained what we could call "good friends" as you shared the same groups of buddies, forcing you to spend some time together at lunches, but moreover during classes as you were in the same major, him having specialized in recording while you had been attracted to the marketing and promotion faucet of Music. Your heart had ached every time he had greeted you with a small smile, or every time you had caught his stare on you at the few parties he had attended when he had not been in the studio – the parties being the ones where he had been asked to perform.

And every time he did perform, you had fallen in love with him all over again, as much as you felt proud of how fast he was growing musically, his lyrics, instrumentals and arrangements getting sharper and sharper, and comforting you in the idea that you had made the right choice. You had made the right choice, yes, but when it was time for school breaks and you couldn't see him daily, you missed him, and the lack of his presence hit you like a boomerang right in your face.

You ignored if he, too, craved for your company and your touch as much as you did. Because in class, in the broad daylight, he was always shining, still throwing smiles at everyone, still cracking jokes to his friends, in spite of the dark circles visible under the two black gems that were his eyes. So as March and back to school was approaching, you were scared to be met with him fully recovered after having spent the winter break away from you. You feared he would be the first one moving on, when you were stuck at the same place you had been back when you had broken up, the only thing helping you to get through it being his success in music.

3RACHA had now dropped three mixtapes in less than a year and were getting more and more recognition in the rap and music industry overall, labels only waiting for the members to finish their studies just like they had asked before darting their claws right at them.

I made the right choice, you repeatedly thought to yourself as you took a big bite of your McDonald's hamburger with contentment, your eyes fixed on the TV's screen playing "Bridget Jones's Diary" instead of savoring it with your boyfriend, because you were now a single woman hating that fourteenth day of February as much as the other who were in the same celibacy situation.

April 16th, 2019.

It was a shiny school day, cherry blossoms having bloomed on the alley taking you to the university, and you entered your first class of your agenda in a good mood. Chan was seating at the back of the small amphitheater, wearing his famous leather jacket, a white T-shirt marrying his toned bust and shoved into a pair of black jeans ripped at the knees, falling on biker boots. As if he had felt your aura spreading into the room, he suddenly leveled up his gaze towards the door and when your eyes met, he swore he had to retain a hiss.

You were utterly beautiful this morning, and if his heart had already been throbbing at your sight now that he couldn't hold you in his arms nor kiss you, he didn't know why, on this Tuesday in particular, he was struck that hard. Maybe it was the clearest of the signs he had tried to ignore up 'til now, telling him he needed to get you back somehow. He knew you had done this for him but also for you, he knew he had made you suffer, but damn, his feelings for you didn't seem to be fading, on the contrary ; the less he was seeing you, the more he thought of you, and the more he loved you and longed for you.

Now that he had produced three mixtapes, he was starting to get a hold of his schedule and his organization, and he was convinced that he could manage to satisfy you all over again, just like he had before getting sucked up into that "music is my life" spiral shit.

So as your eyes lingered on each other for a bit too long, as he caught a spark of need into your two orbits even if you had tried to put on a pokerface, Chan was pushed further towards his decision to make a move on you after having respected your unilateral decision for so long.

Time for lunch had come, and your group of friends within your class decided to eat outside and then to chill at Jihye's apartment for a while, the next course being a 6 p.m. Yes, Jihye and you had come to somehow grow close to each other as she had ended up being your partner on a project during the second semester of your fourth year and, surprisingly, she had even comforted you as you had broken down into tears in front of her during your brainstorming session at her place.

She was sweet, lively, bold, so there was no reason for you to despise her ; moreover, she sure hadn't any remaining feelings towards Chan as she had even offered you her help to get you back with him, which you had politely refused, because of how sure you were about your decision being "the best for the both of you".

You – not so surprisingly – ended up eating at McDonald's, Chan seated at the far end of the table so pretty much the furthest he could be from you, and a girl from the group never ceased to flirt with him, her crush on him completely obvious now that you knew about it, as one day, she had come to ask you if you and him were definitely over and if you were okay with her trying her luck. Yet, he seemed not to care as you only witnessed his glances at you from the corner of his eye, sometimes smiling at you when he saw how your brows furrowed, as if he didn't even care having been caught.

What's with him…?

Soon, out you were wandering in the streets with your ex, Woojin, Jisung and Changbin, the rest of your pack having stopped at an ice cream shop while you had chosen to look for a convenience store, your stomachs craving for the worst snacks for your stomach but the best to spend a lazy afternoon doing nothing.

The boys were loudly chatting and running before you while Chan slowly walked next to you, eyeing discretely your face as you were echoing their laughs, their jokes and crazy attitudes making you crack up. You seemed to be shining a dozen times more than the sun that was up in the sky and burning the top of your heads, the weather being particularly hot for a spring day. And as if he had been blinded by your beauty literally speaking, Chan suddenly felt dizzy from staring for too long, the reflect of the rays of the sun on the shopwindows you were passing not helping him getting his senses back.

He blinked a few times and looked in front of him, but the whole road was burning his eyes with a vivid white glow, and he got nauseous, bringing his arm in front of his eyes to protect his vision. However, the uneasy feeling had already spread down to his feet, making him chilly and panting as he brutally interrupted his steps, and the last thing he saw before his legs gave up on him, was your face as you had turned back to him, your voice calling out for him suddenly blurry in his ears.

"Chan! Chan what's wrong? Chan?!"

Out of a sudden, the blonde boy was falling frontwards, right into your two arms who had been ready to catch him, and you heard him moan as his head landed heavily against your right shoulder. You groaned as all his weight was passed onto you, before you called out his name again, however the two arms that weakly wrapped around your waist interrupted your flow of panic as it showed you the boy was still conscious. His whole body was shivering, yet his breathing was steady while yours was messed up by your sobs.

"You're not sleeping, again? Why? Why don't you sleep huh? Look at how you scared me!" you were scolding him, your love for him doubling your worry and your will to kill him for depriving himself from good nights of sleep.

"Hm… 'M sorry…"

You moved closer to the shop behind you and squatted slowly, your back longing the wall, taking him down with you in the process so that he could sit. Once his legs had been extended on the tar, you held his bust up with your two hands on his shoulders, ignoring how the leather of his jacket that had taken the sun was burning your palms. A shadow suddenly loomed over you as the boys had come back running once they hadn't felt you walking behind them anymore, but they quickly recognized the scene as being their friend's "classical" fainting due to his lack of rest.

"Changbin, I told you to make sure he was getting any sleep" you reproached to your friend whose eyes were filled with the same worry as yours, and you saw his expression mute into a sorry one as he saw how you bad were crying.

"I was sure he was… We got back to the dorms together each time, but I guess he only makes it seem like he's sleeping once he's in his bed…" he mumbled as he looked down at the Australian guy who was slowly regaining consciousness.

"Babe…"

"It's fine, Chan, I'm here. Just breathe. It's fine, it's gonna be alright, hm? It's gonna be alright if you just breathe, and get some rest, please" you reassured him as one of your hands left his body to dry the waterworks on your steaming cheeks.

"I'm sleeping… I just didn't sleep the past week… Because I was too busy thinking of ways to get you back…" he half-mumbled half-chuckled, his head slowly raising so that his tired eyes could meet yours.

Your heart jumped up your throat at his declaration and smoothly, the three friends who had been towering the both of your sitting figures retreated. Chan let out a deep sigh at your lack of response and, magically, he found enough strength to gather his legs and squat in front of you, his knees practically touching your bust. You could feel his profound breathing caress your face, the air drying the wet traces your tears had left, and the way he looked at you took your own breath away.

"I just miss you, so bad, y'know? Let's get back together, I'm in love with you and seems like it won't change" he said in a loving but hoarse voice.

Small pearls of sweat were forming at the base of his forehead, humidifying his long strands of hair he pushed back with a shaky hand.

"I found out how to manage my time, now… I can't be apart from you anymore, I've used up all my ideas for songs about breakups and sadness and regrets" he softly laughed, his dimples reappearing and they got the best of you as they made him earn a smile from you. "I won't disappoint you nor will I put you aside. So give me a second chance, hm? Trust me with my choice just like I trusted yours, but I don't think we're better without each other anymore"

"You twit" you only responded as his confession had pulled at the right strings of your heart, the ones of hope, of lingering feelings, of need, of lack.

You could depict the sincerity in his eyes, and you could guess that he had waited for this day to come, the one when he could ensure you he was able to manage his love for music and his love for you. He had respected your decision and had learned from it, only to find a way to make it work out with you again. You delicately rose your two hands up and cupped his face, spotting how he leaned into your touch and how his nostrils dilated as he took in a deep breath, and slowly, you got closer to him, giving him a single but soft kiss.

Then, Chan let himself drift forward to land his two hands on each side of your head on the glass, and he extended his neck to steal another kiss from you, then a third and a fourth one, until a scraping of a throat interrupted your make up :

"Let's go, lovebirds, they're waiting for us at the apartment" Jisung informed you and you quickly stood up, helping Chan to do so before holding his waist as you walked to make sure he wouldn't fall again.

Once you were at Jihye's apartment and after a lot of wooo's, claps and whistles your classmates addressed you as they saw you coming in each other's arms, you directed yourselves towards the bed at the far end of the living room, where you made Chan lie down so that he could at least get a little bit of rest before the next class. And because he just had retrieved your skinship after too many months of only dreaming of it painfully, he couldn't get enough of you, so he dragged you down with him before you even had the time to get him a cup of water.

You pulled the cover over the both of your bodies lying on the side and ignored the sly remarks your classmates made as they installed themselves on the sofa which had its back on you, and immediately, your boyfriend pulled you closer to him and kissed you with a good pressure of his mouth against yours.

"Oh my god how bad I missed that" he murmured, his lips still grazing yours, and you shivered at the sensation.

You had missed him as well so you couldn't refrain your hands from climbing up his back and sneaking slightly under his white T-shirt, making him groan softly.

"I want you…" he shamelessly admitted, causing you to bite his lip teasingly before peppering his jaw and neck with pecks.

"I don't think you're capable of doing anything right now, you're out of energy with your insomnias" you chanted discretely. "And I don't understand how you can even think of that as we're lying in your ex's bed"

Chan laughed, his chest shaking against yours and his smile spreading from ear to ear, as he had also missed your nagging temperament.

"Maybe that's a kink…"

You kicked his feet he then tangled with yours and he laughed even more before engulfing you the closer he could to his body. You got drunk on his scent, that familiar, welcoming, warm perfume that had tinted all of your belongings back at your dorm room ; but it sure didn't feel the same smelling it directly on him.

"Let's skip classes then…" he offered, his words still trailing off before he winced in pain as you pinched his skin.

"Certainly not, it's my favorite" you growled against his chest.

"Sure it's not more interesting to study my body?" he joked, looking down at you just so he could catch your annoyed expression.

"I didn't miss you actually" you resigned yourself, only earning a series of kisses in return. "And I already know your body by heart, nothing more for me to learn."

"You know, time has passed since the last time you saw it, you would be surprised as to how the gym has helped-"

"Shut up and sleep, you won't get what you want. At least not before the end of the lesson we're definitely going to in four hours" you interrupted him as you shut your eyes, inviting him to do the same.

"So you're willing to take your sick boyfriend back to class? When he's fainted? Wow Y/N, I didn't know you could be so heartless" he scoffed, his cheerful voice having retrieved all of its melody now that he was in a resting position.

"You should have slept, not my fault, it's the price to pay" you stuck to your decision, poking his chest lightly while keeping your eyelids closed.

"You should have come back to me sooner if you still loved me that much" he murmured into your ear before he kissed your temple lovingly and as usual, you melted in his two arms that seemed to have regained all of their strength.

"Same goes for you" you grumbled as you finally stared back at him.

His face was so close after having been just a fading memory in your head for so long, and you found yourself having a racing heartbeat as if it was the first time you both were that intimate.

"I love you." Chan then declared solemnly, his right hand that had been in your back coming to sort the wild strands of hair that had fallen before your eyes. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, Bang Chan."

Two months and two days after Valentine's day, you were living the most special and romantic moment of your life, as you were secured into the arms of the man you loved and who loved you back, his eyes scanning your face with an enamored spark, his lips gracing yours with intense kisses, his toes playing with yours under the sheets just like any romantic movie would showcase in the scene where the two main characters woke up next to each other in the bed.

Chan had the ability to turn a simple day into one full of love and romance by just being himself, just like he had turned a special day into one with another meaning for the both of you, something deeper, something to celebrate not because the society told you to. And that is how April 16th, became as special in your heart as Valentine's day had once been.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #bang chan #bang chan scenarios #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagine #bang chan fanfic #bang chan imagine #kpop scenarios #kpop imagine #kpop fanfic #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst

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slothgiirl · 5 years

Text

forever isn’t for everyone (is forever for you?) part 5

London is gray and dull after Australia and the festivals we'd been at. And like it's welcoming us all back, it's raining.

Foggy, a complete 180. It doesn't help that it's night, and I haven't seen day since two days ago, having spent another day traveling. Cramped up in my seat, squished between other passengers.

This time I had slept fine on board, exhausted from touring. We're all dead on our feet and unlike the last few days, we don't puke into a cab, we just sort of wave and leave and it's sad. I think after all we've done, all the time spent together, we leave like it's nothing. I know even I need some alone time.

But it's still sad to me.

The second leg of the tour isn't for months and I have a week off before having to go into work. A week I spend sleeping and doing laundry and becoming a couch potato.

Another week of catching up with friends and getting lunch before I have to go back to work. It's the day before I go back to work that Alex texts me, my heart lurching, an unconscious desire that had sunk into my mind.

In Australia, it had seemed easy to believe that a man like Alex might like an ordinary girl like me. Perhaps I was selling myself short, but my confidence was a fickle thing that still needed propping up after my acne ridden teenage years.

More eloquent than in person, his preference for written word is obvious.

I was hoping we might have a listen to the record I told you about. A drink or two, a small offering in comparison to the pleasure of your company once more, in the city we both inhabit, where everything will seem solid and less ephemeral than abroad. -Alexander

It was long and flowery for a text and made me dizzy with anticipation, I threw out everything I'd been told to do when a boy texts you and replied instantly, walking home from tescos trying to make food instead of getting takeout for a change, eagerly asking for a time and address.

It was nice to be able to come home and do nothing. A privilege I couldn't imagine coming back from while my roommates came home from their jobs dead on their feet.

Grueling weeks on the road seemed a small price to pay.

I take the tube over to his, a beautiful georgian house among many in Chelsea, save for some dying plants outside, a clear victim of his recent travels, thick dark curtains obscuring all the windows.The street is littered with nice cars, millionaires the only people who can afford the nice neighborhood. London's market on the uptick.

At least I feel at ease in the dying light, the sun spilling in the sky like egg yolk as it sets, turning the clouds blood red, casting long dark shadows. I guess Alex is not a struggling musician, or maybe he's just from a well off family.

It's then I know that I start to feel anxious, no longer buoyed by our shared work, just me and him and would that be enough? It was stupid when I already knew how easy it was to be with him.

But this felt more concrete then wondering around a foreign city had. The thought of kissing him no longer a far off wish but a possibility so close it had my fingertips tingling.

Alex opens the door with a boyish smile on his lips, clad in loose blue jeans, frayed at the hem, and a grey t shirt emblazoned with give a damn, hair hopelessly disheveled as if he'd just woken up. "El, love" he says fondly, after a second, "I'm delighted you're here."

Waving me inside. I'm expecting the inside to look like a Tatler photo shoot, more burberry than marks and spenser sales rack, with the uninviting feeling carefully decorated homes had.

Instead, the rugs are rich, intricate designs, the edges frayed with time and use. There's a thin layer of dust in the paintings hanging on the wall, one signed manet, another of a slender woman with doe like eyes and hair the colour of milk tea, in vivid realism, only the clothes betraying the age, paint cracked with time by the frame.

Following along, I spy the stacks of books piled high on every table, some new others yellowed with age.

There's a silver tray on the coffee table littered with pens and paper and a beautiful piano in the room he leads me too, room lit by stained glass lamps in the shape of flowers, the shades tightly drawn with a beautiful japanese inspired screen for good measure.

A guitar rests in one settee. It's closer to an antique shop than any catalogue. "Please," Alex says, "sit, make yourself comfortable," as he goes to place the needle on a record, a small library of records covering a bookshelf nearby.

As an after though he adds, "don't mind the mess."

"It's fine," I smile, watching him, at ease in his home, wanting to run my fingers through his hair and find out if his hair was as soft as it looked, "it's kind of the vintage shop of my dreams. I don't know where to look because everything is catching my eye."

As I'd hoped, he laughs. "That's certainly a way of looking at it innit?"

The first notes of the record filling the room. Alex takes a seat next to me on the plush sofa. I kick off my shoes, surprised at how quickly I take a liking to the jazz music, curling up on the couch, dim lighting adding to the cozy atmosphere, before I catch him looking at me with the same fondness from earlier. With an easy smile on his lips.

For a moment, we just gaze at each other with a certain schoolyard shyness that settles when neither of us looks away.

His expressive eyes on mine.

A gaze so intense I can't hold it for long before I have too look away. "It's funny," I note, "the music has me picturing the concert clearly. Like I'd been there. Fuck that must have been a night."

"It was." Alex nods, his gaze still heavy on me. "They all lived for their music, bodies a vessel for playing the notes swirling around their souls."It was a beautiful thought, and I wasn't sure how to reply to the sheer earnestness.

"You said there was wine," I ask all faux innocence, wanting something to take the edge off.

Hyper aware of every movement I make. I want to sink back into the ease we'd had in Auckland and not this. The thought of him wanting me as much as I wanted him was driving me crazy.

"Oh so that's why you came," he grins so alight with amusement, eyes twinkling.

"The musics good too."

"And the company?"I shrug, teasing, "I've had worse."

"Oi!"

I snort.

He doesn't move to go for wine. "I'm starting to feel superfluous El," Alex say in his thick yorkshire accent, a drawl to his words, each one carefully considered as he takes his time to form a reply, uncaring about the time he takes. "It's not a very nice feeling."

I roll my eyes. "Don't tell me you need as much ego stroking as Miles?"

"Miles does all the ego stroking for himself."

"That doesn't surprise me," I laugh, "I think you need a lot of ego to get up on stage every night. I don't have stage fright but it's all very weird to have that many people looking up at you."

He nods in agreement, "it's a good thing that's not part of my job. All I wanted to do was 'ave people listen to my little songs."

"Well I'd say job well done."

The album had debuted top of the UK charts. And he'd written the lions share with Miles. Alex ducks his head, red rising to his cheekbones, a stark contrast against his pale skin.

Even a few weeks down under had done nothing to rid him of the lack of colour that came with living in such a gloomy city.

"You've got the whole country singing along."

"Well. . .Miles and the boys do. I just helped Miles a little or well we just jammed together. Can't help myself around that man. . .rarely has anyone understood me so well."

"Have you always written songs?" None of my childhood hobbies had stayed with me, consumed with studying.

"Can't help myself," he admits. "A tune or some words. . .coming to me mind. There till I write them down."

"That's loads more creative than me. I always think it would be fun to draw but I'm imagining some renaissance masterpiece and it always comes out a derpy stick figure or worse. So I just give up and read or go for a walk." Even in the winter, Greenwich park was beautiful, and bundled up it was bareable.

"What do you like to read," Alex asks, tilting his head towards me, curiousity brimming in his soft eyes. The space between us closing in as we lean towards each other, disarmed by our conversation.

His hand resting on his knee, pulled out on the sofa, making me feel shameless about having my legs pulled up as well.

"Articles. Very depressing boring world news. Free essays on the paris review. It's a shame prints dead or else I'd try to justify buying copies. But I think I'd rather have a cuppa tea. With those fruit bits or boba."

"Is print dead?"

Alex says it with a layer of incredulity, baffled.

"Yeah. This thing called the internet came along."

"Bloody hell," he jokes, "I'm still waiting for the windows explorer to. . .do it's thing."

"You mean load? Not surprised. The selfies you tried to take in Sydney were awful. Thankfully those people were there to take our picture."

"Be easy with me El," Alex laughs, shaking his head at me, eyes crinkling in amusement.

"I'll have to think about it," I tease, leaning against the softness of the sofa, resting my head as I take the sight of him in, warmth spreading in my chest, thrilled to know that I can make him laugh, that he'd meant it when he said he wanted me over.

It's a funny little skip of my heart as hope takes root, the idea that he might like me as much as I like him, making me smile, happy for the first time since I got back. Really happy, not just content to be home, to lazy around and get time to myself.

He pours us both a cuppa wine in ceramic cups, "no wine snobs here," he grins and the music plays and his knee taps to the beat against my leg.

Every touch too much and yet not enough, desire welling up in the pit of my stomach. It's easy to drink, pour another glass out."

I don't think anyone has the time or concentration to listen to a fourty minute song anymore," I note, sipping lazyily at the wine, my palette too unrefined to know if it's cheap or expensive.

"It's a jam session!"

I drink, trying to hide my smile at his expression, affronted on behalf of music everywhere, the seriousness to his mouth, frowning, a directness to his gaze.

Failing, I giggle, slumping against the sofa, looking up at Alex through my lashes. "I thought it was just a very long song."

"El." His voice, that thick accent, his unique drawl, my face burning, as he leans over, empty bottle of wine forgotten on the coffee table. His hand cups my cheek, the tips of his fingers calloused in a delightful way, toes curling on the sofa cushion, thumb running over my bottom lip.

Heart beat lodged in my throat, I can't speak, the desire bubbling over, wanting to spill over and kiss him already. Alex pressing lightly over my body, trapping me against the sofa.

I swallow thickly, my fingers going to neck, threading my hands through his caramel hair, soft and silken, and pull him down to kiss me hard.

I can feel his satisfied smile against my skin as he kisses me back passionately, without any hesitation, all of his fumbling for words gone. All confidence and want.

Alex's other hand going down to my hip, rubbing cicrcles over my cotton shirt. My head spins with want and desire and Alex all tangled together, finally, kissing him eagerly as he shifts, shoving a cushion thoughtlessly off the sofa. I lay down, skin burning hot. Too many layers between us.

His lips against mine. Tasting of wine and bitter chocolate, a tanginess I can't get enough of.

My mouth opening up to his, tongue exploring my mouth, my hands running through his hair. Alex pressed against me as I lay with my back on the couch, solid and too many layers between us.

He pulls back, pulling up at the hem of my shirt with a naughty schoolboy grin, endearing all the same.

"I hate winter," I whisper against his cool skin, colder than the room, barely emanating any heat at all in the frigid english winter, "it makes getting undressed such a pain."

Alex laughs, pulling his own shirt over his head. "I'll be sure to make it worth your time."

"Cocky bastard," I utter as he hooks his fingers through the loops of my jeans, pulling me closer to him, the feeling of his own cock, already half hard, sends me reeling.

In leiu of a response, Alex trails kisses down my neck, sucking at the skin, sure to leave marks tomorrow.

My fingers dig into his hair, breathily moaning his name. Shamelessly, he undoes the button on my jeans.

It's never sexy to take off jeans, kicking them off rapidly, as I reach for him, kissing him again fiercely. The feel of his cool skin sending sending shivers down my spine. Lithe but toned.

Alex cups one of my breasts, nipple hardening through the delicate lace. "Fuck El," he groans, hips grinding down against mine.I want him. I want him so much, feeling feverish with desire.

All my thoughts of him.

Of Alex.

He slides his jeans off easily enough, cock hard through the fabric of his boxers. I look up at him, as I unclip my bralete, adding it to the pile of things on the coffee table.

There's always an initial nervousness, when sleeping with someone new. And yet, I know Alex wouldn't hurt me. I trust him.

"El-,"

"Come here," I reach for him, a whine to my voice, "come here and fuck me Alex."

He does.

#Alex Turner #alex turner fanfic #forever isn't for everyone #alex turner imagine #alex turner x reader #mine

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iamagarbagepotato-blog · 5 years

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A Potato Appears [Part 1 of 3].

Just to put this out there immediately: this is **NOT** a ProAna/ProMia blog, and I do not condone or encourage any of the actions or behaviors I express in this blog.

Now that that’s out of the way; Hi. I’ll call myself Sophia, I’m 29 years old, study full time in college, work as a server/bartender, and I have been struggling with bulimia since 2014. I had stopped in 2015, but severely relapsed in 2017. The only people that know are myself and the counselors I saw in 2014, my dentist, and the therapist I see currently.

I wanted to start this blog because I do not feel brave enough in my external life to talk to any friends, family, my boyfriend, or even my general practitioner doctor about this problem. Mostly because while I am not severely underweight like I was in 2014 (in fact, I do have a normal BMI), my laxative abuse is real and I feel as if it is consuming my life to the point where it interferes with my work, my social life, and especially my current academic life.

I’ll fill in some background information and clue y’all in; just be aware that it’s a novel...

Humble Beginnings (2013-2015)

I was 23.

It was early summer where I was living in southwest Florida, and the weather was unrealistically hot and humid. I had just come home from a very expensive grocery shopping trip for my boss at work (I was a bartender for a popular Mexican restaurant in the area) for one of my other boss’ going away party. I was tasked with making boozy treats for the adults. I remember them vividly; champagne cupcakes, chocolate Modelo Negro cupcakes, strawberry margarita cupcakes, Corona cupcakes with lime and beer buttercream, and Blue Moon cupcakes (because why not?) with orange and beer buttercream. I had posted a selfie of myself about halfway through covered completely in flour and other baking messes when a guy I had known from my days of marching drum corps messaged me. Let’s call him Mike. I had always thought he was attractive and very musically talented, so I entertained his flattering messages, and eventually we hopped on Skype as I continued baking while he sat on his couch drinking Bud Light.

He had made some forward comments; I didn’t mind because Florida had done my body good, even after my retirement from drum corps. He mentioned possibly coming up to visit him in Ohio, to which I said wouldn’t be a problem. He asked if I was serious, and I asked him if he was.. we set a date and I was off to visit Ohio two or three weeks later.

Once I landed, things with Mike were awkward, at first... but they progressed fast and hard. After a couple of months of visiting, I decided to move there permanently. I was also offered a chance to finish my music degree (which was something I had put off since 2011 and desperately wanted to complete) and was offered a position with a small, local, volunteer orchestra.

In early January of 2014, I had set out on the long 1200+ mile journey to move everything I could fit in my car from Florida to Ohio. I decided to not move in with him right away and instead lived with a roommate that was also a mutual friend of Mike’s, and she was dating the employer I had when I moved to Ohio. I was all set; I was working as a bartender, performing music on the side, meeting new people, and was set to start school in the fall later that year. I was dating one of the best musicians I knew that not only shared my love of orchestral music, but that of competitive marching music too. I was being shown off, and was enjoying life in a new city with new people.

Well, in March my roommate decided to take a few months-long trip to someplace off the grid. I could not afford the apartment on my own and was still a bit too new to the area to scour for a new roommate on such short notice, so I hesitantly moved in with Mike, and that’s when things started to get a bit weird. He had noted that even at his age at the time (32), he had never had a girlfriend live with him, nor had he ever had a girlfriend longer than a year. We worked opposite schedules, him teaching mornings and afternoons, and myself teaching students in the late afternoon before working nights in to late night. He had begun to make a few comments about how I had put on weight for my first winter in three years and it started to get on my nerves.

His behavior became weird at this time; He needed attention on him at all times. One incident I remember in particular was after an orchestra rehearsal, we had gone to a bar with friends and a lot of people at the bar started talking to me (mostly about my instrument and about the concert program for when/where they could see it) and Mike just busted out his instrument and started playing so people would acknowledge him. Thinking about that now still makes me incredibly uneasy. It was around this time, I started thinking that he might have had a drinking problem. Each night I’d come home to a 30 pack of Bud Light gone in a day and a half, and I know that I don’t drink that stuff, even in my worst of states. Whenever we’d go to parties, bar performances, or comedy shows, he’d always be the one drinking. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but looking back now, I missed a lot of red flags.

Around June, his comments about my weight had gotten on my nerves a bit more, and I was a bit on edge because I had started a second serving/bartending job a few weeks prior in a new upscale place. I became increasingly suspicious when he began concealing his phone. I’m not an overly paranoid girlfriend that wants to know your business, but his behavior became odd. I grew suspicious that he may have been talking to, or even seeing someone else while I was working two jobs and teaching my music students.

It made me think that it was my fault... that somehow with me becoming more and more unattractive was the reason he was being led astray. So I started running, and I started running a LOT. It was hard because, yeah, I was out of shape, but I also have asthma. I became frustrated when I couldn’t complete a time or distance that I wanted, and I’d punish myself for that by forcing myself to purge by vomiting. The first time was so hard, but seeing all the stir fry I had made and consumed hours before expel from my body and being flushed away gave me a sense of cleanliness. I was so glad to be rid of that. In my mind, I did deserve it. I would deprive myself of foods, and what little I did eat would be expelled when I could get away with it without suspicion.

Eventually I did something terrible; I did look at his phone and did confirm that he was not faithful to me. I was a bit scared about whether or not I should confront him about this. Most nights when he’d be drinking, he’d become emotionally abusive and would become unnecessarily argumentative with me to the point I’d breathe a sigh of relief when he’d pass out on the couch instead of crawling in to bed with me. When confronted, he immediately pinned me as the bad guy by going through his phone. In retrospect, it definitely wasn’t the smartest idea, nor the most honest, but it gave me the answer I was looking for and confirmed my suspicions. He became angry and so irate and I don’t remember much of what happened next other than a series os smacks across the face and jaw and being pushed down on to the bed we once shared and had “relations” in just hours before. After he had yelled at me so much that his spittle grossly mixed with he blood on my face, he strangely apologized, got up, and passed out on the couch for the remainder of the evening.

I layed there on the bed motionless for hours, thinking that this could have been avoided if I had just stayed thin. I didn’t know what to do; I had no friends that weren’t also his, I had no family (the closest was 6 hours away), and I had no money to run or go someplace else. I only got up that morning to shower and notice that one of my farther back anterior teeth was missing (and still is, but it’s hardly noticeable, but it is a constant reminder). To this day, I am unsure of my tooth dislodged because of the force he was using, or because the damage I had done to my teeth from throwing up so much. It remains a mystery. After he came to, we had agreed that until I found someplace else, I would have complete access to the bedroom and it would be my space and my space only. I chose this room because it was the only one in the apartment with a functioning lock.

I had felt pretty terrible medically about a week later; I had more severe cramps than normal and my menstrual blood was extremely heavy and different in appearance. I promptly went to the doctor to see what the problem was. Turned out that I not only miscarried at 8 weeks without even knowing I was pregnant because I was taking a birth control pill and we used condoms, but I also had a stomach ulcer. The physician noted the dramatic decrease in weight (140lbs in the winter to about 110lbs in mid-June) but noted it to be from the ulcer and the stress of the miscarriage. I had every opportunity to say that I was bringing and purging and refusing food; I could have said something about needing help in my dangerous situation... but I did nothing as he gave me a prescription for Effexor.

I became very quiet in the house, and was scolded often for not acknowledging his presence when I’d enter or leave a room he was in. He became so controlling and wanted to strip me of my privacy so much that he actually removed the door from the hinges so that the only privacy I had was in the bathroom. A few weeks of this and we’re finally in to July of 2014. He bought us tickets to see the baseball team play on the Fourth of July; which was a nice gesture and I went because I wasn’t working. I was very quiet because the Fourth of July is a somber holiday for me because my favorite uncle committed suicide on that day in 2006 and the memory still plays vividly in my mind every year. Around the third inning, Mike looked at me quietly watching the game, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “A few of my friends are here; I’m going to go sit with them.” Not long after, I gathered my things, hopped on the train, and walked back to the apartment only to discover that we only took one set of keys; his keys. So I sat at a bar for the next eight hours, watching the game, and glancing out the window to see if I would see him walk by so I could be let in. We were both very quiet after that. I had duct-taped a shower curtain on to the door frame just to have a small bit of privacy afterwards.

About a week later, Mike had reconnected with a guy friend he only saw occasionally since high school. They’d drink together and from hearing their conversations and hearing the beer cans being thrown in the recycling box that they both had problems with controlling their alcohol. I am unsure of why I was so judgmental of this when I couldn’t control myself when it came to binging and purging on a daily basis. His friend would often make comments to him about trying to get us back together, calling me Mike’s “cute suburbanite girlfriend” in the process. I was probably a jerk for eavesdropping (but he took away my fucking DOOR so he kinda asked for it) but this was the only time I ever heard Mike admit to someone that he had a problem with alcohol; both of them admitted it to each other, actually. At this point, their conversation moved outside and I have no idea what happened next until the next morning because I had fallen asleep watching a film with headphones in.

I had woken up the next morning to the sounds of knocking on the door; it was one of Mike’s friends asking for his spare glasses. I was confused because I didn’t see Mike anywhere or any sign that he had returned from when he had been out with his friend the night before. Turns out, he and his friend had gone on a walk and had gotten in to a physical altercation. To this day, Mike claims that I somehow conspired to set it up, but after what had just happened to me, I would never risk any physical harm on another human being, especially maliciously and violently. In light of this, I immediately called my mother who lived six hours away for her to wire me some money so I could come home immediately. I stayed for a week while Mike stayed with his parents nearby in order to give my job some minimal notice and to cover all my grounds with our mutual landlord.

When I came home to my mom, I was 102lbs and couldn’t bring myself to purge in her tiny home when she and her dog would hear me and investigate. I caught treatment silently through a local program, but ceased shortly after when my hectic life of working three jobs became a bit too much for me to worry about anything else. I thought I was free from bulimia.. until 2017 hit me like a ton of bricks.

Part 2 will continue soon...

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dondancedon · 5 years

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The Process of Making My First Full Length Piece

The process Psycho-Control started second semester of my junior year of college. I was taking a composition course, and the first piece that I made in the class was a piece called Tic which personified the different tics that I had due to my tourettes syndrome diagnosis. Each tic was outlined through movement or verbal expression (or a combination of both). I walked around to a four point circle like a clock, and each point was a different tic. I was intrigued by this idea of creating movement and creating a piece based from my mental disorder because it’s something that I always had a hard time explaining to people verbally in terms of what’s really going on with me mentally, and I felt like me conveying my thoughts about my tourettes through movement was conveyed thoroughly enough that people in the class understood what I wanted to say and what I wanted to convey through pure movement. So after the summer ended, I decided that I wanted to make an even larger piece dealing with my mental disorders and my mental health. I was also throwing other topics in the idea pool what I wanted to do for my larger piece, but the mental health/mental disorders idea never went away as I was going through my process over the summer of 2018.

During that summer, I was living in Los Angeles as I was working for an internship, and the building that I was staying at luckily had a small dance studio in there. So every chance I got, I would go to the second floor of the building to see if the studio was free, and if it was free I would go in there to workshop movement with some music that I think I would use for the larger piece. Everytime I would get off work, wake up in the morning, or even on my free days off I would be in that studio rehearsing and workshoping. By the end of the summer, I had one song solidified if I did use the mental health idea, but I knew that it would have to be workshop with the rest of the piece in the long run to see if it actually fit. That song was Wonder by Skin&Soap, and I knew that the skeleton of the piece was going to be over reproducing solos while a chorus of dancers either are dancing in the background or around the stage. That part was solidified in my mind.

As it was time to come back to school, I knew that there were two dancers who were going to be away first semester, and I needed them in this piece. Originally I thought that I was going to start working on a couple of the sections of the piece with other dancers who were still on campus at the time, but first I had to stop my fast process and slow it down a bit because I technically did not choose my topic yet at this time. After meeting with my advisor and mentor for my directed study, I decided that I was going to produce a solo that would be auditioned for the school’s fall dance concert as a student piece, and the solo that I would produce would be a section in the larger piece that I would create that next semester. Also I decided that the solo would be performed by myself because I also needed some alone time to really talk to myself on what I wanted to do, and what I wanted to say in this piece. By the end of September, I decided that I was going to talk about mental health and mental disorders from a personal perspective because I felt like I had a lot more to say when it comes to this topic compared to the other topics that I passed around in my head, and the movement flowed out my body more while I was creating movement for this topic compared to any other topic.

The piece that I ended up creating was called War Between Me & It (2018), and it was a piece about the personification of my depression. I wore a long grey skirt that had a lot of movement with a black corset around my abdomen. The reason why I wore that was because I wanted to show the skirt as depression itself and how it is physically constraining me, and how it is this entity being with the fullness of the skirt. Throughout the piece I danced in a huge center/center spotlight that I did not go out of. I tried to get out of it as I reached out, kicked out, ran around the perimeter while tripping over the skirt that was constraining me, but I could never get out of the circle. The circle personified the personal jail that you’re in when you’re dealing with depression and the want to really get out of it, but you can’t. The piece ended with me ripping off the skirt/corset in a tangent which finally released me from the depressed state and I was able to walk out of the circle while gasping for each breathe as the fight to get of out the skirt was hard and torturous. The music that I used for this piece was the opening of a song called Nobody Else by Low Roar which was one of the songs that I discovered, and was workshopping with over the summer prior in LA. The other song that I used for the piece was called Lift Me by the Bengsons.

After the semester was over, it was time to start getting ready for this larger piece of work that I was about to embark on. Over the winter break I started outlining all of the things that I went through mentally in my life which included Tourrettes, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Alcohol/Drug abuse, and Suicidal Thoughts. For each micro-topic, I pretty sure I had a full 20 mins piece outlined in my head on what I wanted to do and say, but I knew that I wanted this larger piece to at the most be 40 minutes long. So by the time we came back to school, I was ready to start choreographing. The two dancers that I was waiting for to come back told me that they were excited to go along this journey with me. I ended up asking two other dancers who I’ve been working with since I was a freshman, and they both said yes. And I ended up asking three other people who I’ve never choreographed on to see if they were interested. All three said yes, but one unfortunately had to drop out of the process. The first rehearsal, I actually spent with a freshman named Erica. I ended up giving the solo that I worked on last semester to Erica because even though they were a freshman, their maturity level was through the roof, and I knew that they would be able to convey everything that I wanted to be conveyed in that piece. Also I didn’t want to perform that piece again personally because it was emotionally draining for me, and I needed a release from it after performing it first semester.

During that rehearsal we started looking at how we can make the movements that I created for my body start to fit Erica’s body. We both move differently with some similarities so at the end of the day I wanted to make the movement phrases feel as comfortable as possible for them as it did me when I performed them. About half of the piece became modified, and by the end of the first rehearsal, Erica and I finished the piece. From there on out our meetings were for running the piece, seeking out questions that need to be answer, cleaning the piece, and solidifying performance quality.

The first group rehearsal I ended up deciding the restage a piece that I already created in the past called Smother (2014) which dealt with depression at the time I created it when I was 17. However I wanted to put a slight twist to it. I wanted to create a piece about Trauma and the way we store trauma into our bodies especially if we don’t know how or where to release it properly, and also the ways we actually release trauma. So the second part of the section which I like to call “Smother release” was actually the skeleton of Smother. I say skeleton because if you look at the finished product of Smother from before I restaged it to now then it may look like a completely different piece. A lot of the movements in the original Smother were very ballet technique heavy and sort of a competition dance routine as at the time I created it the first time, I was working with mostly competition dancers. But in between the years of 2014 and 2019, I’ve been through a lot of life (a little bit too much life if you ask me), my experiences have changed the ways a view curtain things, my dancing has matured, my choreography has matured; so in order to put Smother in this larger piece, that piece must also mature too. A lot of the choreography for Smother is now more grounded instead of uplifted, there’s more modern heavy movement with flickers of ballet in it as well. I think that it was a decision that I loved the most out of the whole process with keeping Smother because it really showed where I was at in my life of choreography, and where I’m going. The first section of Trauma was then created as I was working with one of the dancers and I started to dive into the trauma that I was personally going through with being a victim of sexual assault, and I really started to dive my emotions into improved movement phrases with one of the dancers. We started repeating movement phrases from the improve and building upon those. After 45 mins went by, I created all of the movement phrases that were going to be used in the Trauma section. The next rehearsal I started teaching the dancers the phrases, blocked the dancers, reconstructed the phrases in solo/duet/group formations, and by the end of that rehearsal Trauma was set. For a good bit of time we started to focus only on Trauma and Smother because those were the two sections that were going to be auditioned for the school’s spring dance concert as a student piece, and once we found out that it was picked, we dedicated at least 45 mins to running Trauma and Smother. The combination of those two sections ended up being called Psycho-Trauma (2019) as it was an excerpt to the fuller Psycho-Control show. The songs that were used for Psycho-Trauma were Gyroscope by Boards of Canada, and Smother by Daughter

The next section I started working on was a section called Party which is based on Alcohol and Drug abuse. I knew for the Alcohol and Drug abuse section of the piece, I didn’t want it to be heavy. I want it to be the more fun side of the piece because while Alcohol and Drug abuse is a heavy topic, when you’re in that movement of feeling high or drunk you’re in a state of euphoria and excitement which is something that I wanted to convey in this piece as it is set in a Party atmosphere. The piece of music I used was Hyperballad by Bjork, and the reason I used this piece of music is because I was at an event about two years prior and I was laying on a sound floor in which the vibrations of the floor were meant to heal you. The vibrations of the song on the musicality of the song reminded me of that night as there were a lot of people around me who were high in the room. A lot of the movement phrases in the beginning are based around movements we make when we’re in the states of high or drunk. By the end of the piece we are at our peak and then we pass out at the end. This is all due to a pill we all swallow in the beginning of the piece. It was fun to make this section because it’s more upbeat, the music really gets you going in terms of both dancing and choreography.

The next piece that I worked on was called Time, and it’s based on wanting to go back and change things in your past that would mentally affect your future. The music for this was a cut version Reconsider by Jamie XX. This section became a quartet between myself and three other dancers in the cast. The movements in this section were a lot of ticking movements, reverbing of movement, and a lot of running/walking frontward and backward. I think this was the quickest dance that I created because the movements came naturally in the process and the dancers picked up on everything quite fast. In terms of choreography I started thinking outside the box on movement that I feel like I never done or seen before. This piece is something I see myself coming back to in the nearby future.

The next section that we worked on was a section called Wonder in which I started to create the summer prior. I ended up adding into the larger piece because of a costume issue that we had with War Between Me and It. Because the corset I wore the semester prior for the solo does not fit Erica because we are two completely different body types, we had to use a lapa as the piece of fabric that Erica wore in their solo. I ended up adding Wonder to give the fabric more character in the piece. In Wonder, almost every dancer has a moment dancing an improved solo with the fabric. The fabric is still the sense of depression and as each dancer picks it up, it affects them differently in the solo. By the end, I have the fabric so I can take it off stage but as I walked off, the fabric is still visibly affecting me.

The final piece that was choreographed was called Heaven. Heaven is the final piece in the show, and it is the release of the show from all of the heaviness that the show embodied. I ended up using a voicemail from my Grandmother that she sent me on my birthday which basically told me to don’t give up on myself as I wrote a facebook post about the previous year being a hard year for me mentally. The piece starts out with everyone wearing all white as they are doing Graham technique floorwork on the ground. I start to walk out in the middle of the two lines that are facing on a diagonal and I eventually join everybody on the floor. By the end of the piece we are all starting to walking off stage into the light, I am in the back of the line looking behind me periodically as I am looking at where I’ve been, the things that I went through, and all of the negatively that I’m leaving behind and I soon start to walk into the light that everyone else has walked in which is like me walking into a brighter future or even walking into a better place in my life.

As the semester was starting to come closer to the end, and the showcase of both Psycho-Control and Psycho-Trauma started to come near, there were a few things that caught my attention in terms of what I appreciated, what I loved, and what I would change. What I appreciated was the work that everyone on the tech side of things did for me for this piece. In terms of lighting, I only had an idea of what kind of colors I wanted on the stage, but after seeing the ideas that the lighting director had it really brought out the piece into a different lense that I never imagined seeing it, and it almost made me cry because of how crazy someone else’s vision of your piece can really bring out the best in the product. I was also able to work with the sound director to create the audio transitions that were spoken by student voice actors. The way that she was able to cut everything and level the volumes of not just the voice recordings but also the full music file of the piece that I created on Garageband was amazing and I’m deeply thankful and grateful for that.

One of the things that I love was how much my cast appreciated the work they were doing. All of the dancers kept coming up to me and thanking me for letting them be in this piece. I think that it’s because this piece meant a lot more than just dancing; this piece was physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding and I tread lightly in terms how much I pushed the dancers. I only pushed them when they were ready to be pushed, and they also respected how much I was pushing myself in terms of choreography because it was physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding for me as well. But for me in this process, I had to make sure the dancers were okay until I could ask myself if I was okay. I sort of put my personal emotions and needs in autopilot to make sure the security of the dancers was the number one priority and then later in the process especially when it was time to perform these pieces of work, I was able to ask myself if I was okay and what do I need for myself in order to perform this piece because I was also a dancer in the piece as well.

The only thing I would change would be the costuming. I personally did not fully like some of the costumes that we used for the Psycho-Control, but I love the costume that we used for Psycho-Trauma. I think that after everything was set and done, I started looking at clothes online and realizing things that I wish I used for the larger piece. We ended up shopping around for pieces of white clothing for the heaven section of the piece, and then we looked at our own wardrobes for the other sections of the piece. For each section of the show, I always saw a color that matched the piece’s aura for instance for the Time section, I always saw this sense of blue while creating it so we ended up wearing blue shirts in that section. At the end of the day, I am fully content on what we used for the show because it was the only things that we could get, and I’m grateful for the fact that we were able to get anything for the fuller piece.

I am excited to see how my choreography process progresses from here. I’m interested in seeing if I can restage this whole piece at some point in the future; if not the whole piece then excerpts would be fine too. I am thankful for everyone who was involved in the process, and I am ready to embark on my next choreographic journey.

#dance choreography dancestudent dancechoreography choreographer

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coffeebased · 5 years

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It’s been a whole year since I posted last. Part of me wants to apologise for being gone so long, but mostly I’m just glad that I’m here.

Instead of doing a GIANT 2018 READING POST, I’m going to chop it up into three posts:

Favourite Books Read in 2018

2018 Reading Data and Goal-setting for 2019

2013-2018 Reading Data Trends

I was going to do a bigass one like I usually do but it just felt so daunting. Probably because I read 256 books in 2018 and it was pretty tempting to just close that Excel sheet and move on to an empty one for 2019. But what is the point of an unexamined life, anyway?

So this post is basically a listicle with summaries grabbed from Goodreads, as well as the complete list of the books I read in 2018. I really enjoyed all these books immensely and they’re all in my personal canon now.

My Top 10 Reads for 2018:

The Odyssey by Homer, translated by Emily Wilson

The first great adventure story in the Western canon, The Odyssey is a poem about violence and the aftermath of war; about wealth, poverty, and power; about marriage and family; about travelers, hospitality, and the yearning for home.In this fresh, authoritative version—the first English translation of The Odyssey by a woman—this stirring tale of shipwrecks, monsters, and magic comes alive in an entirely new way. Written in iambic pentameter verse and a vivid, contemporary idiom, this engrossing translation matches the number of lines in the Greek original, thus striding at Homer’s sprightly pace and singing with a voice that echoes Homer’s music.

Circe by Madeline Miller

In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child—not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power—the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.

3. The World of the Five Gods by Lois McMaster Bujold

A man broken in body and spirit, Cazaril, has returned to the noble household he once served as page, and is named, to his great surprise, as the secretary-tutor to the beautiful, strong-willed sister of the impetuous boy who is next in line to rule.

It is an assignment Cazaril dreads, for it will ultimately lead him to the place he fears most, the royal court of Cardegoss, where the powerful enemies, who once placed him in chains, now occupy lofty positions. In addition to the traitorous intrigues of villains, Cazaril and the Royesse Iselle, are faced with a sinister curse that hangs like a sword over the entire blighted House of Chalion and all who stand in their circle. Only by employing the darkest, most forbidden of magics, can Cazaril hope to protect his royal charge—an act that will mark the loyal, damaged servant as a tool of the miraculous, and trap him, flesh and soul, in a maze of demonic paradox, damnation, and death

4. Noli Me Tangere by Jose Rizal, Translated by Harold Augenbraum

In more than a century since its appearance, José Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere has become widely known as the great novel of the Philippines. A passionate love story set against the ugly political backdrop of repression, torture, and murder, “The Noli,” as it is called in the Philippines, was the first major artistic manifestation of Asian resistance to European colonialism, and Rizal became a guiding conscience—and martyr—for the revolution that would subsequently rise up in the Spanish province.

5. America is Not The Heart by Elaine Castillo

Three generations of women from one immigrant family trying to reconcile the home they left behind with the life they’re building in America.

How many lives can one person lead in a single lifetime? When Hero de Vera arrives in America, disowned by her parents in the Philippines, she’s already on her third. Her uncle, Pol, who has offered her a fresh start and a place to stay in the Bay Area, knows not to ask about her past. And his younger wife, Paz, has learned enough about the might and secrecy of the De Vera family to keep her head down. Only their daughter Roni asks Hero why her hands seem to constantly ache.

Illuminating the violent political history of the Philippines in the 1980s and 1990s and the insular immigrant communities that spring up in the suburban United States with an uncanny ear for the unspoken intimacies and pain that get buried by the duties of everyday life and family ritual, Castillo delivers a powerful, increasingly relevant novel about the promise of the American dream and the unshakable power of the past. In a voice as immediate and startling as those of Junot Diaz and NoViolet Bulawayo, America Is Not the Heart is a sprawling, soulful telenovela of a debut novel. With exuberance, muscularity, and tenderness, here is a family saga; an origin story; a romance; a narrative of two nations and the people who leave home to grasp at another, sometimes turning back.

6. The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk W. Johnson

A rollicking true-crime adventure and a thought-provoking exploration of the human drive to possess natural beauty for readers of The Stranger in the Woods, The Lost City of Z, and The Orchid Thief.

On a cool June evening in 2009, after performing a concert at London’s Royal Academy of Music, twenty-year-old American flautist Edwin Rist boarded a train for a suburban outpost of the British Museum of Natural History. Home to one of the largest ornithological collections in the world, the Tring museum was full of rare bird specimens whose gorgeous feathers were worth staggering amounts of money to the men who shared Edwin’s obsession: the Victorian art of salmon fly-tying. Once inside the museum, the champion fly-tier grabbed hundreds of bird skins–some collected 150 years earlier by a contemporary of Darwin’s, Alfred Russel Wallace, who’d risked everything to gather them–and escaped into the darkness.

Two years later, Kirk Wallace Johnson was waist high in a river in northern New Mexico when his fly-fishing guide told him about the heist. He was soon consumed by the strange case of the feather thief. What would possess a person to steal dead birds? Had Edwin paid the price for his crime? What became of the missing skins? In his search for answers, Johnson was catapulted into a years-long, worldwide investigation. The gripping story of a bizarre and shocking crime, and one man’s relentless pursuit of justice, The Feather Thief is also a fascinating exploration of obsession, and man’s destructive instinct to harvest the beauty of nature.

7. Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

An unforgettable memoir in the tradition of The Glass Castle about a young girl who, kept out of school, leaves her survivalist family and goes on to earn a PhD from Cambridge University

Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills bag”. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father’s junkyard.

Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent.

Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes and the will to change it.

8. The Wicked + The Divine, Vol. 7 and 8 by Kieron Gillen, Stephanie Hans, André Lima Araújo, Matt Wilson, Kris Anka, Jen Bartel

In the past: awful stuff. In the present: awful stuff. But, increasingly, answers.

Modernist poets trapped in an Agatha Christie Murder Mystery. The Romantics gathering in Lake Geneva to resurrect the dead. What really happened during the fall of Rome. The Lucifer who was a nun, hearing Ananke’s Black Death confession. As we approach the end, we start to see the full picture. Also includes the delights of the WicDiv Christmas Annual and the Comedy special.

9. Mister Miracle by Tom King and Mitch Gerads

Mister Miracle is magical, dark, intimate and unlike anything you’ve read before.

Scott Free is the greatest escape artist who ever lived. So great, he escaped Granny Goodness’ gruesome orphanage and the dangers of Apokolips to travel across galaxies and set up a new life on Earth with his wife, Big Barda. Using the stage alter ego of Mister Miracle, he has made quite a career for himself showing off his acrobatic escape techniques. He even caught the attention of the Justice League, who has counted him among its ranks.

You might say Scott Free has everything–so why isn’t it enough? Mister Miracle has mastered every illusion, achieved every stunt, pulled off every trick–except one. He has never escaped death. Is it even possible? Our hero is going to have to kill himself if he wants to find out.

10. The Band, #1–2

Clay Cooper and his band were once the best of the best — the meanest, dirtiest, most feared crew of mercenaries this side of the Heartwyld.

Their glory days long past, the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk – or a combination of the three. Then an ex-bandmate turns up at Clay’s door with a plea for help. His daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy one hundred thousand strong and hungry for blood. Rescuing Rose is the kind of mission that only the very brave or the very stupid would sign up for.

It’s time to get the band back together for one last tour across the Wyld.

PHEW. Did you guys read any of those books? Did you like them? Hit me up!

The books I read in 2018:

Okay, thank you for reading. Keep a weather eye out for the next post, hopefully very soon.

My Ten Favourite Books from 2018 It's been a whole year since I posted last. Part of me wants to apologise for being gone so long, but mostly I'm just glad that I'm here.

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deathbyhysteria · 6 years

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57 facts tag !!

i was tagged by @serensims - thank you for tagging me even though i took so long because it gave me a migraine lol

i tag @gemgeminox @maplestreetsims @justkeeponsimming @all-harlows-eve @daisydezem and anyone else who wants to have a go.

facts are under the cut!

1. i just turned 21 years old

2. i am studying law in london

3. when i finish i may go and do a postgrad somewhere abroad! we’ll see

4. i have literally no hobbies now

5. when i was younger i used to do ballet, viola, piano, guitar, yoga, drama, dance, singing and ballroom dancing - not all at the same time (i.e. i was much more well rounded than i am now)

6. i have one younger sister

7. i always wanted to have an older sibling, especially an older brother

8. i used to be a big reader but i stopped. but over the summer i’ve been reading more again, especially crime books by Harlan Coben

9. some shows i’ve been watching a lot of over the summer: bojack horseman, 3%, the flash

10. s5 of bojack horseman actually came out on my birthday and i tried to rewatch all 4 seasons before then but i failed. however i just started the new season today!

11. i was admitted to hospital twice over the summer, once while i was abroad i’m holiday which SUCKED

12. i love travelling and some of the places i’ve been to are: italy, cyprus, various places in the usa, jamaica, mexico, nigeria, greece, spain, switzerland.

13. my dream destination is japan... i would love to visit so badly

14. speaking of japan, my favourite cuisine is actually japanese food, and i also really enjoy chinese and what little i have tried of vietnamese food too

15. i have only one (two?) piercings and that’s my ear lobes. but i would love to get a second set of piercing on my lobes and i’m hoping to do it in the near future

16. i’d love to get a tattoo one day but i’m not sure what i’d get and also i don’t like pain

17. i’m in and out of hospital kinda frequently because of a medical condition i have (without going into specifics, you could say i’m a little like a spoonie)

18. the only surgery i’ve had was when i was about 6 years old and i had my tonsils removed

19. i really like makeup and i can get quite creative with it, but i don’t tend to wear anything outside of mascara, my go to lipstick (which is touch by mac) and possibly eyeliner on a daily basis

20. i’m 5ft 7in (and a half)

21. i know basic french and a little more than basic spanish, and i’m a native english speaker

22. this year i’m learning yoruba, and i’m also hoping to pick up some basic german too

23. i rarely cry at movies but the only ones which did manage to make me cry were: titanic (i’m sure i was too young to be watching it at the time), princess and the pea, boy in the striped pyjamas... oh and avengers: infinity war which made me bawl like my puppy had died

24. i’m a really big fan of the mcu and i always go to watch the new releases in the cinema with my sister and my dad

25. i’ve never see the incredible hulk so idk maybe that makes me a fake fan

26. i had to wear braces for 6-7 years? but afterwards i stopped wearing my retainers so some of the gaps opened up in my teeth again 🤷‍♀️ what can you do

27. i love music and i always try to give every genre a go... the only one i can’t deal with is country music

28. my favourite thing is getting to see live music and i’ve gotten to see: one direction (my first concert!), 5 seconds of summer, little mix, twenty one pilots, hey violet and most recently taylor swift

29. i’m still taking driving lessons over a year after i first started but my driving test is booked for next friday so idk maybe i’ll have an official license soon if i don’t flop

30. i had 4 really close friends in high school but after that we kinda grew apart and i got pretty lonely and pretty bad (read: ridiculously awful) at making friends

31. i did struggle with depression and mild anxiety in the past

32. if you have mental health issues - please try and talk to someone about it. keep trying until you find someone you can trust. it took me a long time to admit i needed help and even longer to find someone i felt comfortable confiding in, but it was the best thing i ever did.

33. i did really really well in my gcse’s but since then i’ve just gotten dumber i guess because all my grades have been nothing short of average, sometimes even significantly below average

34. tumblr is basically the only social media i use now. i stopped using facebook, twitter and instagram, and i only keep the snapchat app around so i can take cute selfies, but i don’t ever post

35. it’s 2am as i type this and i’m running out of things to say

36. i used to get really painful periods, to the point where i was basically bedridden and the pain was enough to make me physically throw up. luckily they aren’t as bad anymore

37. i love the summer and i really need that vitamin d in my life

38. i really love winter clothes and big loose comfy sweaters are literally my favourite thing

39. i drink a lot of tea, especially green tea with lots of honey

40. i’m mildly lactose intolerant and yesterday i drank a chocolate milk which had some adverse effects... it wasn’t worth it tbh it tasted kinda nasty

41. i used to really love bratz and i watched all the movies and even bought some of their albums

42. i can’t really walk in heels but i’m trying... platform heels are not so bad but then i get people telling me i’m tall already so i don’t need to wear heels (as if i don’t just wear them because i like them)

43. i love lush bath bombs and i always have a few hanging around my bathroom

44. my dress size is like a 10 but sometimes i have to go up a size because of my big bust, which i hate

45. i actually really enjoy playing the papa’s pizzeria franchise online and they’re like my go to games when i’m really bored

46. speaking of games i also really love phoenix wright, i’m playing the trilogy on the app now as i had only played ace attorney before

47. i love getting manicures and idk why but i always tend to paint my nails dark blue... there’s this shade this one shade and no matter which nail bar you send me to, if they have it i’ll always pick it out without even realising it

48. i play sims on my macbook air which probably isn’t a great pc for gaming bc it always makes the fan go absolutely crazy, although my game never lags even back when i used alpha cc

49. i played the og sims but i never played sims 2 or 3 and i also never bought any expansion packs even though i was desperate to

50. i wear a lot of black, not intentionally but probably because it’s just a safe colour that you can’t go wrong with

51. i actually really enjoy getting socks as a gift but no one buys me them because i think it’s a universally accepted fact that socks are a rubbish gift

52. i don’t own any trousers that aren’t jeans and i think that’s probably a little odd but i’m not sure

53. i don’t have a great track record of keeping my mobile safe and i’ve ruined a lot of good phones by cracking the screen, dropping them in the toilet, dropping them into my cereal, or just plain losing them

54. speaking of which i currently have an iphone 6s in rose gold and i love it and don’t care all that much to upgrade it. but it only has 16gb of space and i’m desperate for more

55. i also really enjoy getting new pyjamas. and my favourite pyjamas are the ones that aren’t pyjamas at all i.e. just give me a t-shirt in size xxxl and i’m good to go

56. i wear glasses because i have a lazy eye and i’m also long sighted (which is an absolute recipe for disaster when you’re trying to apply eyeliner, let me tell you)

57. i’m genuinely surprised that i managed to list 57 facts about me!

#tags #57 facts tag #non sims

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dreamingofthedeepbluesea · 6 years

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Trollhunters: True Lies

Chapter One: Buzz Kill

For the first time in a long while, Strickler felt old. There were more gray strands in his hair and some of his past injuries ached more with each coming winter. Old memories haunted his dreams at night but he still found the courage to move forward. After all, the Changeling had finally found a place where he belonged. He had fought in the war, he had survived Gunmar’s wrath, and somehow, he had found his place in this world. Instead of looking constantly looking over his shoulder, Strickler felt safe and confident in his allies. It certainly had been a positive change in his life.

“Time has sure steadily flown by, hasn’t it, Strickler?” Blinky asked as he offered a drink to the changeling. “Master Jim has grown into a fine young man. Clarie is a lovely lady, by human standards, of course. Tobias is…” He glanced to see the Toby attempting to help Claire hang a congratulations banner, nearly falling off the ladder in the process. Jim quickly steadied his friend and scolded Toby, telling him to be careful. While Tobias had shed a tiny bit of weight and gained some battle skills, there were still that clumsiness factor and love of spicy tacos. “… still Tobias.”

Troll Market was throwing a huge graduation party for Jim. Strickler helped where he could, including saving Jim’s cake from being a complete disaster. Try as she might, his mother had the best of intentions but could not cook. At least Barbara did decently at icing the cake and decorating it with candles. There were banners hanging from every vendor station declaring celebration. Barrels of mead were in every corner as were food stations, both human and troll dishes. There were some soda pop drinks from the surface, a fizzing liquid that made Argh’s nose sting. None of the trolls seemed to enjoy it but a few changelings did. The invitation extended to his friends and family. Supposedly, there was a surprise gift from Blinky. Yet, he would not tell anyone what it was to avoid spoilers for Jim.

“Indeed, it is strange to think that young Atlas is getting ready to leave high school and then go to college.” Strickler recalled writing the letter of recommendation for James. He wanted to stay in Arcadia to be close to his family and friends. His grades were high enough to apply anywhere he wished and acceptance was almost a sure guarantee. Despite a lot of objection, he applied to the local university to study, oddly enough, history. James had developed a love for mythology and legends over the years of being the Trollhunter. With a sigh, the Changeling took the mug from Blinky. “It seems just a few short years ago, we were trying to best each other in the dining room.”

“You still try to best each other in Barbara’s dining room.”

“Barbara asked Jim to take out the trash and he picked me up over his shoulder.”

“I recall that incident, we laughed about it for weeks.” Blinky admitted honestly with a small snicker. “Actually, we’re still laughing about it.”

“Good one.” Argh chuckled as he brought over a tray of used socks, soap bars, and broken vinyl records to share. “Laughed and laughed.”

“Well, I’m glad that you two obtained some amusement at my expense.” Strickler rolled his eyes and shooed away the plate full of distasteful goodies. He did not eat disgusting trash like trolls. Maybe the occasional pencil accidently had an eraser top chewed off the top due to not paying attention. It was part of the occupation, he supposed. “Younglings are so rude nowadays, thinking everything is a joke.”

“You just mad cause Jim taller.” Argh munched on one of the soap bars. “Taller than you.”

“Do they have any real food at this graduation party?” Strickler scowled at the brute, instantly wanting to change the subject. He would never admit it, though it did secretly bother him. Young Atlas had sprout up like a weed, surpassing him in height by a few inches. “Something that isn’t socks or garbage?”

“Yes, there’s lots of human food set out over there next to the fizzing lime liquid that Tobias loves to consume.” Blinky pointed in the direction of the table. “We’re waiting until Jim’s surprise gets here.”

“And exactly what is this surprise?”

“It’s for everyone, not just Jim.”

“You’ve been secretive about this for nearly a whole month.”

“I contacted many old friends to pull this off and I won’t have anyone spoiling it.”

“No surprise if know.” Argh reminded Strickler with a grin. “Excited!”

“And exactly when is this surprise supposed to arrive?” Strickler was beginning to think Blinky ordered a box full of cats for Jim. “Gift wrapped, I presume?”

“Stop pestering Blinky, Walter.” Barbara walked up behind the changeling, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Placing a kiss on his cheek, Doctor Lake knew her husband hated not having all the facts. She guessed that was part of being a history teacher. “You’ll find out soon enough what it is.”

“And what if it is a stripper inside of a cake?” Strickler asked his wife. “What will you do then?”

“What’s a stripper?” Argh swallowed another sock.

“If I remember correctly, it’s a human male or female who takes off their clothing for money usually while dancing around a pole.” Blinky quoted the statement from memory, earning a look from Barbara. He could not understand why Jim’s mother seemed a bit irked from his words. It was only the truth he spoke! “… that’s what it said in that human dicks-ton-airy.”

“That’s not the surprise, is it?” Barbara questioned in an accusatory tone.

“No!” Blinky replied very quickly, all four hands raised up in defense. “Most certainly not!”

“Hey, book brain!” NotEnrique jumped onto the bar, knocking over Blinky’s beverage. “You better go get things ready! The special package has arrived!”

“You could have announced that without jumping up on the counter and spilling my drink.” Blinky grumbled as he used a cloth to wipe up the mess. “But then again, that’s what you do, you create messes.”

Since Blinky and Argh had their attention on NotEnrique, Barbara took this as her chance to steal Strickler away from the party. Between work at the hospital and helping Blinky set up the party, she barely had time for her husband this week. Sometimes, a woman required quality time with her lover. Standing on her tip toes, she whispered into his ear.

“No one is in Blinky’s library.” Barbara murmured in a suggestive tone. “What do you say we do some research on the reproductive system?”

Perking up at the offer of pleasure, Walter smirked from ear to ear.

“I believe the Kama Sutra has some excellent references to offer.”

Blinky gathered everyone in the middle of Troll Market. He decided to leave Walter and Barbara to their odd human mating customs. If he interrupted them, it would surely cause unwanted embarrassment on both ends. He only hoped his table would survive all that rocking. So, he returned his focus to the gathering. After expressing how proud he was of Jim, he then explained he called in a favor from an old friend. When Blinky pulled back the curtains for Jim’s grand surprise, it was a gift he never anticipated. There was stereo equipment hooked up to a DJ system. It was the latest, top of the line products to produce music. At first, Jim and his friends exchanged confused glances. All three of them enjoyed music, but Jim never expressed interest in becoming a DJ.

“Yoohoo, little ones, up here.”

Everyone looked upward to the source of the voice. On top of the tallest stereo, there sat the esteemed guest of honor with her legs crossed. Multiple braids dangled from her curly locks and she had a smile that lit up the cavern. Waving at the graduates, she could not help but giggle at their shocked faces. She was a tall woman dressed in flashy clothing and wore expensive designer boots. From her overall reaction, she had seen trolls before and was not alarmed. The lady seemed quite comfortable in Troll Market.

“That’s… that’s…” Tobias stammered, his brain unable to process proper wording. “That’s…”

“The Siren!!!” Clarie squealed at the top of her lungs in absolute glee, causing some other trolls to wince. Even a few of the gnomes groaned their displeasure at the noise. Humans could be so loud and annoying. “Jim, you seriously like have the best mentor ever!!!”

“I know!”

“How in the name of the Heartstone was he able to pull this off?!” Tobias grabbed Jim by the shoulders and shook him. “That’s Loralei Abrielle! Her entire tour is sold out! There’s like no way to get tickets or backstage passes! How did he get her to come here?! Or allowed inside of Troll Market for that matter?!”

“I guess Blinky has connections we didn’t know about.”

“Forget that, we get a private concert!”

“From only the most famous, greatest, totally awesome techno, raving, music star in the whole country!!!” Tobias had to take a breath at the end of his excited rambling. “And she’s here! I can ask for an autograph!”

“Maybe she’ll sign my tour shirt!” Claire exclaimed as she pulled out several sharpie pens from her back pocket. Lately, the girl had developed a habit of collecting all the colors of sharpies like it was a hobby. Bright neon shades and pastels were her favorites. She doodled on every notebook page and blank surface she could find. Strickler had scolded her for drawing a rather crude drawing of him breathing fire on her desk. The rest of the class found it hilarious. “And I can get a selfie!”

“Think she’ll do a group photo?” Jim held up his phone and turned on the camera. “How do you set the timer on this thing again?”

“Don’t you think you should enjoy the music first?” Loralei asked them with a chuckle. “I came all the way from Malibu Beach to play for you.”

“Can I go back to Malibu Beach with you?”

Jim nudged Toby in the ribs for that statement.

“Heh, I appreciate your enthusiasm.” Loralei shook her head lightly with an amused grin. “But I think you’re a little too young for me.”

“She’s talking to me.” Toby nearly swooned and presented his most charming smile. “And you can’t be too much older than me, you’re what? Twenty-three, twenty-four? I can handle an older woman.”

“You have a girlfriend.” Claire reminded Toby with a cross of her arms. “Remember? Her name is Darci? Ringing a bell there?”

“Tobs, seriously, not cool.” Jim ran a hand down the front of his face.

“I’m actually a few thousand years old.” Loralei held up her fingers and counted in silence. “I forget my exact age, little one. After you live for so long, it becomes rather pointless to try to keep track of the years.”

Toby choked on his drink.

“Wh-What?!”

Scooting off the edge of the stereo, Loralei landed on her feet. The trolls would not allow any random human inside of their home. She supposed it was acceptable for these three kids to know the real her. With a blue flash, she transformed into her true appearance. The widely adored musician was a changeling. The musician had turquoise skin with dark blue streaks here and there. Black claws adorned her hands and feet, even blacker curved horns, standing proudly from her head. Strangely, Loralei’s eyes in this form had black sclera and glowing turquoise slit. It reminded Jim all too much of Gunmar, a slight chill going down his spine. Who exactly was this changeling? He could not look too suspicious. Questions could come later, seeing she posed no threat.

Toby’s jaw dropped, Jim stood there stunned, and Claire poked both boys in the chest with a triumphant yell.

“I told you, I told you and you two didn’t listen!” Claire held out her hand. “Pay up, I win the bet.”

“You predicted that she was a magical creature, you didn’t specifically say a changeling!” Toby protested with a pout. Jim swore there was no way a changeling could be that popular and hide among humans. Evidently, even a changeling could be a celebrity. “For all I know, you could have been calling her a unicorn!”

“Magical creatures include changelings, I win, you lose.”

“Urgh, fine.”

“That means you buy dinner at somewhere other than Tito’s Tacos.”

“But Tito’s Tacos is so tasty!”

“You can live off tacos, but Jim and I can’t.”

“Darci likes Tito’s Tacos.”

“Darci likes you, she tolerates your love of tacos.”

“Okay, let’s just come to a compromise and go to Amor’s and get pizza.” Jim interjected in the argument. “Then the girls will be happy.”

“And garlic bread.”

“Seriously, Tobs? That stuff reeks on you for weeks.”

“If I’m paying, I’m getting the garlic bread.”

“Girls like it if you shower them with delicious food, little one.” Loralei loved the banter between friends. “If you buy her food, she will feel obligated to eat it and not feel guilty about it later.”

“Really?”

“Why do you think the females wanted the best hunter as a mate?”

“Because… they got more food?”

“Exactly.”

“What do you know?” Toby shrugged. “Learn something new every day.”

“Now, little ones… what song would you like me to play first for you?”

“It’s Jim’s party, so he should pick first. Though, if I guess right, he’s going to pick ‘Take Off to the Stars’ cause that’s his favorite song.” Claire informed Loralei with a delighted clap of her hands. She was doing her best to remain casual in front of her idol, but it was hard. How could someone be so torn between wanting to scream from joy or embrace someone as tightly as possible and never let go? “Then me, the Toby, then uh… I don’t suppose your mom likes her music?”

“Mom likes Elvis, Sinatra, Darin, and Manilow.” Jim told his girlfriend. “She’s not too big on this type of music.”

“Only one question left, Jim.” Loralei put on the headphones and flipped on the power. “Original or remix?”

“I think we have officially disgraced Blinky’s library.”

“And sock pantry.”

“Don’t forget the potion closet.”

“Hrm, well, what should we disgrace next?” Barbara purred as she ran a single finger down Walter’s chest. Maybe menopause was making her more so feisty. It seemed lately that she could not keep her hands off her husband. The last time she acted like this was when she was pregnant with Jim. It was probably just the cascade of hormones. “I would like to nominate… the corner of bean bag cushions.”

Strickler gave a mock gasp.

“Scandalous.”

“You’re the one who suggested Blinky’s beloved desk.”

“Hrm, the book brain had it coming when he called me an old timer.” Strickler huffed as he pulled Barbara closer, nuzzling her hair. The scent of lavender and coconut oil lingered from her shampoo. Her hairstyle was out of place now from all the wild movement. He ran his fingers through her reddish locks and she tended to pull on his horns during love making. Such a sharp tug always aroused him. However, Strickler’s favorite thing that Barbara did was a simple act of when she traced his markings after the deed. He had gotten used to the affectionate gesture and a purr rumbled lowly in his chest. Now, the changeling craved her tender touches. Strickler expected harsh words and striking blows. Cruelty was all he ever received from Gunmar or Bular. His wife, his sweet wife, helped him heal in ways he never expected. “Saying I was getting paler and grayer with age.”

“You are an old timer.”

“Hey!”

“I’m teasing, honey.” Barbara laughed at his sulking. “You can still keep up with me and I’m almost in my forties.”

“And your Krav Maga, your horrible cooking, and your insatiable appetite in bed, my love.” Walter nipped at her ear as he rubbed his left horn. “I must say, I thought you were going to pull out one of my horns this time.”

“Sorry.” Barbara apologized sheepishly with flustered cheeks. “I didn’t mean to pull so hard, I just… well…”

“Trying to urge me on, are you, temptress?” Walter ran his teeth down her throat with a playful growl. “Faster?” His hand slid up her side, inching closer to her breasts. “Harder?” He pinched her nipples, earning a jolt from Barbara. “Deeper?”

“Walter!” Barbara squirmed in his grasp, laughing. “What are you doing?!”

“I am expertly obtaining my answer.” Watler buried his face in the nook of her throat. “Will my lady tell me or will we have to find the answer after round two?”

“Fine!” Barbara scoffed as she poked his nose. If the two of them had a second bout of intercourse, they would both miss Jim’s surprise. She knew that her son liked to focus more on his friends and love interest since he was older. Still, she would like to at least see him open his graduation cards and cut the cake. That was more of a birthday tradition, not really a graduating one, but she would always treasure, especially seeing such a smile on his face. “Yes, I was horny because we haven’t had sex in over a week, happy now?”

“Yes.”

Music started playing from above in the market. The beats echoed down to the library as did the cheers of the participants. Both Walter and Barbara perked up at the noise. It seemed the party had started without them. Blinky revealed the surprise without their presence, so Walter expected that the nerd smelled the two of them mating. Or maybe it was Draal, he had a bad habit of showing up out of the blue. Nomura was not kind enough to keep her mouth shut, she would have said something to embarrass him. Then again, he had not seen Draal or Nomura. Maybe the two of them were patrolling the tunnels for wanted Gumm-Gumms. Someone detected their act of mating and decided not to interrupt them. Of course, he would keep this little detail from Barbara to spare her any mortification. Trolls and Changelings had sensitive noses, so it was not surprising to him that someone would find out eventually about their sexual activities in various areas of Blinky’s home.

“Damn, we missed it.”

“Language, Lady Lake.”

“I’ll fucking swear if I want to swear, thank you very much.”

“Spirited, aren’t you?”

Barbara shoved at his shoulder, before arriving at a conclusion.

“We missed the surprise, so while they’re enjoying the music, we could go for round two before presents and cake.”

“Depends on how hard you pull on my horns.”

“Oh, shut it.”

“Best. Party. Ever!” Toby was sweating profusely from all the dancing. Having the time of his life really turned out to be an excellent workout. Burning calories during a graduation party was the best way to stay in shape. He started to chug down a bottle of water to rehydrate. “You know, if her songs were on that game called ‘Dance Just to Dance’, I could totally nail all those arrows and be king of groovy.”

“You do have the moves, Tobs.” Jim spun Claire around and then dipped her. “Darci has really rubbed off on you.”

“Darci took ballet, tap, and even ball room dancing.” Toby sighed dreamily, thinking of his perfect girl. “And she can twerk like—”

“T.P.! Seriously don’t need to know that.” Claire stopped her friend before he went into a ramble about Darci’s perfect backside. She already heard Toby go on and on about Darci’s bubble butt and did not care to hear it again. Puffing a strand of hair out of her face, Claire then signaled that she needed a break from dancing to Jim. “Let’s go and get some food, yeah? I’m starving and that barbeque looks amazing.”

“Hey, Miss Abrielle?” Jim asked the musician, gesturing to the table of cooked food. “You want to join us for some grub?”

“Call me Loralei. I’d be honored to feast with the legendary Trollhunter.” Loralei left a personalized playlist running on the computer. Claire had taken the initiative of uploading a playlist of all Jim’s favorite songs to a flash drive and had it in her backpack. Dialing the volume to low so people could converse, the artist walked up to young graduates. “When Blinky contacted me, and told me who you were, I figured the least I could do was play my music for you.”

“Hey, being the Trollhunter is a privilege.” Jim was modest about his position. Since maturing, he had less bravado and was becoming more of a humble man. There were a few times when overcoming a new challenge that the streak of invincibility returned. “It’s given more than it’s taken. I’ve made a lot of new friends, seen new worlds, learned magic, how to fight, and I kept evil at bay. The adventure is still continuing.”

“Life is an adventure and yours will be fruitful.” Loralei agreed as Jim offered her a drink an empty plate so she could select what she wanted. “It is nice to be back in Troll Market after being gone for so long. There’s many familiar faces.” She looked at her surroundings, taking in the beauty of the glowing stones and listening to the chatter. “I would like to greet your mother as well. Is she here?”

“Yeah, she’s… let’s see.” Jim peered through the crowd. The trolls blocked most of his view. He finally spotted his mother preparing the candles on the cake. Pointing across the way, the Trollhunter gestured to his mom. “Oh! There she is! Her name is Barbara. She’s right beside of Strickler. See the dude dressed in the suit?”

“… Strickler?” Loralei set down her plate and drink rather hard on the table. Her voice sounded urgent. She wanted clarification. “As in Walter Strickler?”

“Yeah, changeling, greenish avocado color, throws knives around like they’re going out of style?” Toby filled his plate to the top with barbeque chicken, baked beans, slaw, and a sizable piece of cornbread. His love of food still lingered and he still ate like it was his last meal. Wriggling his fingers, he gazed at the plate full of chocolate browns as it were gold. “Talks like he’s from last century? That’s him all right.”

“Excuse me, little ones, I’ll be right back after I kill him.”

Dumbfounded, Jim, Claire, and Toby watched Loralei tromp in Strickler’s direction. Toby was chewing a mouthful of food and froze. Jim was holding up a potato chip to his mouth and stopped halfway. Claire was quite certain her idol could not be capable of murder until now. The look in Loralei’s eyes said it all. However, she did notice that Jim was not chasing after the music star. No one moved until Claire spoke.

“Guys?”

“Yeah, Claire?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but, didn’t she just say she was going to kill Strickler?”

“Oh, you heard it too? Thought I accidently got cornbread in my ear or something.”

“Don’t you think you better stop her?”

“You think I’d be able to catch a break at my own graduation party.”

“Just go diffuse the situation before it starts.”

“Too late.” Toby noticed Loralei right in front of Strickler. “She’s got him.”

“You!!!”

The chatter instantly died and all eyes were on the musician. Loralei’s voice was so full of hatred, it gave Jim pause. Something told the Trollhunter that Strickler’s past was coming back to get him. Before Strickler could even react, she grabbed him by the throat and pinned him against the wall. Argh pulled Barbara out of the way, not wanting her caught up in the scuffle. The stone crackled from her brute force and Strickler yelled from the crushing blow. It dazed him so badly, his vision blurred for a moment. He was not prepared for a fight. As soon as he could see clearly, Strickler gasped at the face in front of him.

“What are you doing?!” Barbara shrieked, trying to wriggle out of Argh’s grasp.

“Murderer!!!” Loralei spat in his face, her eyes seething in rage. She pushed Strickler even further into the rock, causing the cracks to spread. He grimaced and grasped her wrists, trying to push her off him. “I should have killed you right after Gunmar ripped out your wings, you coward! They’re all dead because of you!!!”

“Loralei, let him go!”

Jim grabbed her shoulder and was immediately shoved backward by the angry changeling. He fell over a table, knocking the contents to the floor and bonking his head on the wall. Claire rushed over to Jim to make sure he was all right. The changeling did not even glance over her shoulder at him. Her sole focus was on Strickler. A piercing growl rumbled forth from her. With teeth bared, Loralei was expecting a fight. She wanted to fight, she had that need for bloodlust. More importantly, his mother cared for his exasperating teacher so much, she married him. He did not have an excuse for letting him die so easily. Tolerating Strickler was easier said than done. First, he moved into the house, then he started the cooking competition to see who was the better chef, and finally, Strickler then asked his mother to marry him.

“Stay out of this, Trollhunter.” Loralei snapped at Jim. “This is between me and this foul fiend.”

“You let go of my husband before I rip off those horns of yours!” Barbara shouted as she tried to get free. “Put me down!”

“Husband?” Loralei sneered at Walter. “You? That’s laughable.”

“That’s what I initially thought at first, but he’s been good to my mom!” Jim protested, wanting to avoid a duel his favorite musician. “Mostly good, if you minus that Angor Rot incident that shall not be named but… more so annoying.”

“James Lake Junior!” Barbara started to scold him but Blinky entered the conversation.

“Loralei! Whatever are you doing?!” Blinky exclaimed with two hands motioning to her hand on Stricker’s throat and the others on his face under his eyes. “This is a party, not a battlefield!”

“Blinkous, why is this murderer here?” Loralei still held Strickler against the wall, never breaking eye contact. “Does he really have you all fooled? You know he worked for Gunmar! He should be killed!”

“He helped us defeat Gunmar!” Claire came to Strickler’s defense. “He used to be evil, but he righted his wrongs!”

“Not all of his wrongs.” Loralei squeezed tighter around Strickler’s neck, causing him to choke.

“Just let him go and we’ll talk in a civilized fashion. We’re all adults here, right?” Toby even tried to present his two cents. “So, let’s just sit down, have a nice cup of joe, and discuss this.”

“Lo… r… lei!” Strickler managed to say between gasps for air. His lungs were burning, screaming for air. Flashing green, he managed to kick Loralei back, causing her to stumble. He coughed, the oxygen rushing to his lungs. Pulling the knives from his collar, Strickler felt uneasy. “I… I didn’t know Gunmar was going to slaughter them! I didn’t even know you were still alive!”

“Lies!” Loralei hissed as she sharpened her claws on the stone ground. “You saved your sorry ass and left us all for dead!”

Lunging at him, Loralei aimed for his throat. The entire market scurried out of harm’s way, wanting nothing to do with the fight. Dodging her sharp talons, Strickler ducked and then rolled to the side. With a grunt, he hurled one knife after the next at her, seven total. Each blade was for a specific weak point. One for each knee, one for each shoulder, one for each wrist and one for her stomach. Loralei flipped in midair, twisting and turning flexibly so she caught each dagger between her fingers. Strickler’s confident expression instantly fell, knowing that his advantage of having a weapon just ended.

“Forget who taught you?” Loralei scoffed, twirling a single blade around a finger. Wisdom usually came with age, but it seemed Strickler was senile. Maybe he thought he was seeing a ghost. Perhaps she should remind him she was here, alive and well. “You stupid boy!”

One by one, she started slinging the blades back at him. Strickler managed to block the first three by grabbing a nearby tray. The knives dug into the wood. The fourth grazed his thigh and the fifth dug into his shoulder. His shoulders were his weak points. Strickler grimaced loudly and tried to pull it out from his stone skin. The remaining two blades, Loralei held in each hand. The green changeling swiped at her. Avoiding his claws, she slammed one dagger into his arm, causing Strickler to yell. Twisting his arm behind his back, Loralei had the final blade at his throat. He froze in place, not daring to move a muscle.

“Loralei, I swear I—”

“All I want to hear from your mouth is a scream!”

Before the final blow was dealt, Draal appeared and snatched Loralei from behind. His arms held her tightly so she could not get loose. She screeched in fury, kicking her legs wildly, spouting curses. Nomura helped Strickler to his feet. Reaching to pull out both knives, the pottery fanatic earned a strident objection from Strickler to leave it alone. His wife was a doctor and she could attend to the wounds.

“Should I put her in the cell?” Draal asked and Loralei aimed carefully, throwing her leg back to hit the troll in his weak point. Instantly dropping to his knees, he held in-between his legs. He exhaled forcefully. “That was… a dirty move.”

“No fight.” Argh told Loralei firmly, keeping her from her objective. “Talk.”

“Strickler, Loralei… I think there is indeed a tidbit of explaining to do.” Blinky looked at the pair, crossing both pair of arms. “You have made quite a spectacle of Master Jim’s festivities.”

“See? Like I said, sit down, have a cup of joe, civilized conversation.” Toby repeated his same phase from earlier. “If they would have listened to me, this wouldn’t have resulted in a fight. I know things, you know.”

~~~

Thank you for reading!

Likes are sweet, reblogs are awesome, but getting feedback is the best!

Chapter 2: Coming soon!

#walter strickler #stricklake #barbara lake #james lake junior #toby domzalski #claire nuñez #notenrique #argh #blinky #nomura #draal #changeling #trolls #troll market #graduation party #older characters #fanfiction #trollhunters #for the glory of fandom

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ughthatimagineblog · 6 years

Text

i’ll see you tomorrow, boyfriend

draco malfoy x reader | university!au

requested: Hey could I get a draco x reader au from his point of view where he meets her in uni and has a crush but tries to hide it? Maybe they become friends (he goes to her dance shows and orchestra performances and such) and he falls more and more until eventually he just blurts out that he's in love?

word count: 3614

warnings: abuse, draco being edgy, lucius malfoy, maybe ooc narcissa a lil bit (its been 5ever since i wrote anything even mentioning her)

a/n: this is an au soooo yeah idk how this went. i liked it. i added in extra plot to make it semi spicy. also if ur sensitive to abuse then pls go away no offense but youll be triggered and i dont want ppl to get upset so i warned u

She caught him. And he was trapped.

It was late winter. He was focused with school and everything was fairly easy. Platinum hairs like feathers ruffled in the cool wind under the hot sun and he took his time walking to his new class of the semester. He was majoring in Business and Biological Engineering. Nothing would distract him from that. He had a goal. Make his father proud.

Life had different plans. Of course Draco would fulfill his destiny of graduating in those majors, but not without a small distraction. Walking into one of the core classes he had this semester he saw her. At first it was a glance. She was beautiful. He lowered his head and took his seat a few rows behind her.

Class began not much longer and Draco could focus but hardly. He knew he shouldn’t have been distracted by some silly girl but this girl was far more than silly. He noted she had the class with a couple of her friends and he would hear her laugh often. Sometimes she would get called out by the professor and shyly quiet down, her face turning red. It made his heart beat. He found it strangely poetic to note he had one. For so long he had disregarded emotion and feelings. Now, he had a new start.

That ‘start’ began a year ago and life at university had grown on him. Nothing was to get in his way. He was a determined student who rarely spoke to people and when he did it was something snarky or completely neutral. The seas of his life were calm. They were fine. You were the storm on the horizon.

The first day with you

Draco could feel the sun and cool air on his skin as he crossed campus to his English class of the semester. He wanted to sneer. The sun was nothing but a large ball of gas and flame to him today. The sun was not supposed to be out. Just another class to pass and then we move on. He thought to himself, walking into the B Block building. He saw a few kids rush into the building before him and they held the door open for him.

He nodded a thanks, his mouth continuously in a tight line and continued to his classroom. It was fairly small. Only about twenty four students. He knew all of them from the past semester or the previous year. Taking a seat about halfway in between the front and back, he opened up his binder and notebook, waiting patiently for class to start. Of course that meant other people were talking in that time. It was the same chatter, Draco knew. About him.

“That’s Draco Malfoy.”

“I heard he didn’t need scholarships. His dad paid for his tuition.” “He’s creepy. I heard he never talks.”

“Really? I heard he’s mean.” “Probably, I mean how can you grow up with people like the Malfoy’s and not be rude.” “Malfoy? He’s a Malfoy?”

It was all the same and he had come to ignore it. It was best to go through school by himself than spend it with loads of friends. It was easier for him. If something were to disrupt that, he would be a goner. His grades would be a goner as well. His father would make him pay.

Class started not much but five minutes later and the professor began to introduce themself. “Hello, class. I am Professor Eva Beverly and I will be your advanced English Composition and Literature class. This class will be easy if you pay attention. One should always be prepared here and if not-” The professor was cut off by the door swinging open and a girl stumbling into the classroom. Your back was facing Draco, but he could hear you say ‘Thank you’ to an advisor in the hall. Once you turned around, his heart nearly dropped. You were stunning and suddenly, his facial expression was one of shock instead of mysterious resentment. “Miss Y/L/N. You are late.” The professor crossed her arms. “I know Professor Beverly, I couldn’t remember which block this class was on so I had to go back to the advisors. I reality I tried to get here five minutes early and-” “Take a seat.” “Yes, ma’am.” You had rambled. Draco, if it were anyone else, would have found it annoying. But it was you. ‘Miss Y/L/N’ If he could only learn your first name. He was in luck. Empty seats surrounded Draco and for once in his life, he thanked whoever would listen for being the kid not anyone would want to sit by. Of course anyone who had any sense that is. But this girl, Draco could see, did not as you chose the seat to his right, in the row in front of him. To your right, a blonde girl wearing a simple flannel was laughing and Draco took it that she was this new girls friend. He recognized the blonde from the beginning of the semester. The both of you were freshman. To his dismay, however, the blonde was also one of the girls whispering about him. He was a goner. No doubt she would tell his beautiful crush all about what a ‘creep’ he was. As Draco dwelled on this, he couldn’t help but how much less of a creep he would be. . . with you.

Four months spent with you.

Fortunate for Draco, the girl, who’s name he learned to be Morgan, had not spoken of him to you, which gave him the chance to speak with you. It was completely out of character, but he set limits for himself. He would not allow you to distract him. Too much. He was in for a disappointment. In a way, Draco was aware of this. In fact, he had been thinking about it on his walk to class that day. His walk, with you. “Do you have any clue the word count Professor Beverly wants to have for our essay this Friday?” You asked Draco. He shrugged slightly. “Shouldn’t be more than two pages or about nine hundred words.” He replied and you grunted, frustrated. “I was hoping it to be more.” He looked at you, a small smirk forming at his lips. He had learned a lot about you in the past month. Your favorite color, what music you liked. He knew of the latter by looking at your phone from his seat. When you used it in class it was to switch from Spotify to Pandora to the Music app and back and forth. You were quite indecisive with your taste and the connection in the class was spotty.

“What, like two thousand words?” Draco inquired. He also learned you were a performing arts major and loved literature as well. You actually were quite popular in the sense that you knew a lot of people and did a lot of things. You were in the theatre department, the University orchestra, a scout for the local charity and the choir. Right now, you had been stressed trying to balance school work with the outside activities. That upcoming weekend, Draco remembered you had both a choir concert and a charity event all in the same day. You also had three core classes out of four periods on four days of the week. He wished he could take some of the load off of your hands and it killed him that he couldn’t. You and Draco had been spending quite a lot of time together and you only started hearing the rumors about him a month after you were seen as friends. You didn’t believe them though. Draco had an intimidating look, but he was quite kind to you and had a fantastic sense of humor. You also found him extremely attractive. The past four months had been filled with you working around school and extracurriculars all with Draco’s help. He went home once a month but you would see him again the Monday following the weekend and he always helped you study. Eventually you moved to sit next to him rather than in front of him and you couldn’t help but find yourself staring at him every once in awhile. You and him did not compute well in your head though. There was something off about him. Something about his family seemed odd. He never spoke of his parents and when he did he used his father's first name but called his mother ‘mom’. You had asked if they were seperated but when he replied negative you left it alone. Unfortunately, this just added onto your worry.

On the other hand, Draco was also worrying about a similar issue. Over the four months his grades had went down by two points. He still had A’s but if there was something Lucius Malfoy didn’t notice, it would be how big of an arse he is. Draco couldn’t attend your events this weekend. And oh, how he wanted to more than anything. He had seen pictures of you at said events before. For the orchestra concert you wore a black dress that made you look stunning and at your last charity event, you wore a beautiful gown that made Draco want to kiss you right then and there. He wanted more than anything to see you look so magical in person, but this was his weekend trip home. He couldn’t miss it. Not on his father’s watch.

“So, can you make it?” You asked, knowing what the answer would most likely be. “No, I have to visit my father. He wants to make sure I’m doing well in school.” He wants to ask why my grades are still not as good as they used to be. He thought to himself. He subconsciously touched the unseen scars on his back from where his father had punished him many times before. “Ah, well tell your mother ‘hello’ for me. And be sure to give her this. It’s for Christmas. I am a few months late but it took me awhile to get ahold of it.” You smiled and handed him a small box you had quickly pulled from your bag. He opened the box to reveal a medium sized necklace with emerald gems. “Y/N. . . You really shouldn’t have.” Draco was speechless. It was beautiful. And for you to do that for his mother, it was baffling. He really liked you. “It’s alright, Draco. Let’s get to class.” You smiled, realizing you reached your classroom. You opened the door for him and you both entered, only for Draco to find it impossible to focus.

The ride home for Draco was impossible. He lived an hour and a half away and it was not long enough. He was only waiting for the dread of going home. Parking his car in the drive, he already saw his father in one of the windows. Checking the time, Draco saw it was six in the evening. Your concert had started and would end in thirty minutes and your charity event started at eight. He sighed, knowing he would be enduring a much worse night. Subconsciously, he clutched your present in his jacket pocket as he approached the front door, his suitcase in his other hand. His mother opened the door and he almost felt relieved, but the feeling quickly left him as he knew his father was still somewhere in the house. “Draco.” His mother smiled and pulled him in for a hug. He closed his eyes and sighed. “Mom.” He sighed in relief, wrapping his arm around her. “Come in, come in.” She ushered Draco into the house and he left his suitcase by the door, only to be greeted by his father. “Father.” Draco greeted. “Draco.” Lucius said, much less fond than his wife. “I understand that your grades are still not well. Is it still because of this girl?” Lucius asked coldly and Narcissa put a hand on her son. “Lucius, not now. He just got home.” She sighed and Lucius shot her a glare. “I will address whatever problems that need to be addressed. Draco?” He replied. “It’s not because of the girl.” He muttered, feeling small. “Is that so? You told your mother you met a girl about four or five months ago. When did your grades drop? Four or five months ago. Before then, nothing was wrong. Now you have some stupid girl around and suddenly your future is compromised.” Lucius spat and Draco felt his hand ball into a fist. “She’s absolutely not stupid.” Draco said, harshly. His father scoffed. “Oh really? Do you know where she lives? Do you even know if she has both parents? If she even has money?” Lucius scoffed and Draco aggressively stepped closer to his father. “She doesn’t have both parents at home but I’m twice the man you are so even I can look past something as petty as being against that.” Draco spat and was met with a sting on his cheek.

A sting, a gasp, a raised hand and the turn of a head.

The sting was delivered by his father's raised hand, causing Draco’s head to turn on impact and his mother to gasp and hurry to his side. Draco inhaled deeply, trying not to let the salt in his tears make his eyes go red. He turned away from his father to his mother. “Mom, Y/N gave this to me to give to you. She said it was for Christmas and it’s a little late and she’s sorry.” Draco calmly handed her the box. He turned to his father. “She also said to apologize for not getting anything for you because she doesn’t know much about you or your interests, but she says she promises to get you a gift for Christmas next time.” Draco said with a sour look. A tear dropped from his eye. “You don’t deserve anything she will ever give you.” Draco said, shaking with anger. His mother, behind him, had opened the gift from you and covered her mouth in shock. She saw the authenticity in the necklace and based on what Draco had told her about you, she knew that it must had cost you a fortune to afford that present for her. And here her husband was, insulting the girl who her son perfectly deserves, despite her social status. “Lucius.” She said with a tight lip. “What?” He snapped at her, his chin tilted high. “It’s not like he’s in love with the thing.” He spat and Draco balled his fists once more. “Actually. . .” Draco paused and looked at his crying mother. “I do.” She smiled. His father looked disgusted. “You what?” He asked. “I love her.” Draco confirmed and turned to the door. He grabbed his suitcase and pulled his mother close. “I’ll meet you every now and again, but I refuse to meet with him.” He whispered under his breath and pulled her in for a hug. He kissed her forehead before opening the door. “Where are you going?” Lucius asked, angrily. “A much better place to support the girl I love and I’m not coming back until you fix the way you see her.” He said harshly before slamming the door.

Draco stopped at a gas station half way back to Uni so he could change into a nice black shirt and some trousers. The argument at home only took thirty minutes so he was making good time. The only problem was traffic. When he did get to campus, however, he did memorize the building the event would be held in. He found a space to park and rushed in, catching the start just as the lights went down. There were a couple open seats in the back and he thought he spotted you towards the front but it was too dark to tell. He just waited patiently, not speaking to the others at his table.

A few people went on stage and spoke about helping children with cancer as well as a few other charities said people were helping. It wasn’t until a blonde woman on stage mentioned your charity that Draco really paid attention. “Now please welcome the founder for the Arts for Acknowledgment program, a program funded by donations here by students to fund educational programs and arts to acknowledge lost or underappreciated cultures, Y/N Y/L/N.”

And then a girl stood up in the crowd and Draco could no longer believe he had ever known you previous to that moment. You were stunning. He knew it was a black tie event, similar to a gala but you looked like royalty. Your hair was pinned back and your gown was a long and beautiful golden dress that had an off shoulder top but flared out to a large bottom.

And the way you walked so graceful onto the stage. The way you smiled to the crowd. He couldn’t help but snicker in contrast to the first day the two of you met. You clumsily falling into the classroom gave him the impression you would do poorly in heels. He was wrong. “Tonight, i would like to thank the help of my fellow classmates for supporting and donating as well as submitting suggestions and artwork. Thank you. I would like to thank my mother, for pushing me to pursue the goal of helping other people. By using my advantages to help those that had none. Thank you. I would love to thank my counselor who has helped me get through every anxiety attack or depressive episode I have had along the way. Really, without you I wouldn’t be as organized as I am with my life.” You laughed and Draco knew he was in love. He smiled. “And finally, I would like to thank my best friend, Draco Malfoy, who has been a silent push these past four months ton really put everything together. He has stayed up late countless nights with me to help put together final touches on payment plans, architectural deals or gallery organizations. Really, he should get some of the credit. I love that man for everything he’s done for me. Thank you.” Your words wavered in the last sentence and Draco’s world was paused. I love that man for everything he’s done for me. The words rang around his head like a pinball machine. Your voice wavered and it only happens when there was something behind your words you weren’t telling.

Draco felt an impulse and he decided to act upon it. “I am here.” He said as loudly as he could without yelling. Heads turned, yours being one of them. One of the women close to the stage looked appalled. “Young man! I don’t think-” “It’s alright.” You said, breathless yet a smile was glued to your face. The woman sat down with a huff and Draco made his way to the stage, his heart nearly exploding every step of the way. If he was wrong about this, he was about to embarrass himself in front of about, say, four hundred people or so.

He reached the mic and away from the mic, you spoke in a hushed tone. “I thought you were with your parents tonight.” He smirked. “You’re much better company.” He smiled and you mirrored his expression. “Ladies and gentlemen, this woman that stands before you is absolutely incredible. Yes, it’s true I stayed up countless nights to help, however, I barely deserve a mention. This project is hers and hers alone and to take any of the credit would be improper. How hard Y/N has had to work to get all of this done transcends me. But she has done it. For so many people. And she says she loves me for all I’ve done for her?” Draco spoke into the mic. “No. I love her for her generosity and all she’s done for you.” He stated, giving you a quick glance and noticed you were tearing up. He turned to you, but made sure the mic was able to pick up his words. “For me to let her go and be with someone else would break my heart.” His heartbeat accelerated. Little did he know, so did yours. “Y/N, will you be my girlfriend? You are incredibly intelligent and ambitious with amazing morals. You are kind, funny, and smart both book and street and I would love to make you mine.” Some noises of adoration were heard from the audience. This only egged Draco on. He got down on one knee. “I have had to keep these feelings inside for the past four months. But Y/L, I love you. Very much. Be mine?” He asked and you nodded. There were cheers from the crowd. You could barely hear them once Draco stood up and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. Your heart was on fire. Once turned away, his arm did not leave your side.

You delivered the rest of your speech and the night concluded itself with food, music, and lots of talking. By the end of the night, Draco was walking you back inside your dorm after driving you home.

“I never knew.” You both ended up saying. You both laughed. “Neither did I.” You said, reaching your dorm door. “You looked stunning tonight.” Draco commented, cupping your face. “You look handsome yourself.” You replied before he kissed you once more. “Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow. . . Girlfriend.” Draco whispered after pulling away. You giggled and smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow, boyfriend.” You replied and left Draco’s ears ringing with the word. Boyfriend.

hope you enjoyed!

#draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader au #draco malfoy x reader au #harry potter imagines #fandom imagines #fandom #harry potter fandom #hp imagine #fanfiction

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woodworkingpastor · 3 years

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A trip to my Father’s House -- Luke 2:41-52 -- Second Sunday of Christmas -- January 3, 2021

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Like many of you, our Christmas celebrations were quite different this year, and were also extended over nearly a week. We missed the rituals and the traditions that have become important to us over a lifetime.

It’s the same with our church experience. This is the 43rd Sunday that our church building has been closed and we’ve had to create alternate means to worship together. That has been the biggest reason why I have been reluctant to move worship to an online-only format simply based on the calendar. There remains value in the act of getting up on Sunday morning and coming to our meeting house; that ritual is an important part of our faith, even as we acknowledge that some of us have very understandable reasons for making different decisions about how we gather.

Before we go on farther here, though, I do want to say something more about Christmas. It is a great blessing to both give and receive gifts. For me, I am at a place where the giving of gifts is more important than the receiving, even though I certainly enjoy both. I especially enjoy it when I’m able to figure out some kind of gift that I think will really bless and surprise the person who will receive it, but then I have to go find what I’m looking for; the search is as important to the process as the gift itself. The efforts that go into the creation of our traditions are as important as the tradition itself!

What is starting to wear a bit thin on me is answering the question, “What do you want for Christmas?” My own desire is for Christmas to be more than just my giving people a list of things I want them to go buy me.

Could it be that these two ideas are related? What if our need for life-shaping ritual and tradition is somehow connected to things that we very much need? Could our need to engage in certain familiar rhythms and even liturgies be connected to some things we need in our lives?

What do you want me to do for you?

Before we turn to our Scripture text for this morning, we should see that the Gospel writers note multiple instances of people asking Jesus to do things for them. Its a small but significant topic in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

People asked Jesus for things all the time: sometimes people had a sick (or even dead) relative, and they asked Jesus to come and heal—one time even saying to him, “Just say the word.” In another story Jesus meets a man who is having a legal dispute with his brother over the family inheritance. (Jesus shows great wisdom in this case—he refuses to get involved!) Later in the Gospels, James’ and John’s mother asked for her two boys to be privileged in a particular way: she asked Jesus if they could sit next to him in heaven.

But it doesn’t stop with people asking Jesus for things. Once, Jesus met a man who was blind and Jesus asked, “What do you want me to do for you?” Can you imagine what that might have been like? You know what’s going on in your life; you know what you need. Imagine if Jesus showed up and asked you this question!

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus tells us “to ask, to search, and to knock” in pursuit of things we need. God’s intention is to be in relationship with us on such a deep level that the things God most wants for us would actually be the things we ask for. So what if Jesus asked you this question? What would you ask Jesus for? What do you want from Jesus?

The importance of religious tradition and practice

Hold on to that thought for a while—I suspect it’s never far from you, so it shouldn’t be too hard to remember. Let’s turn our attention to Luke 2:41-52, a passage of Scripture that describes a period of time in what we would call Jesus’ adolescence. One thing we see in this text is that Jesus grew up in a home that prioritized religious tradition and practice. Joseph, Mary, and Jesus are part of a caravan of people going to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover festival. You can be sure that there is a specific significance to their actions. The Passover festival celebrates the Exodus from Egypt; something that at this point was approximately 1,400 years in their past. It is an event that remained the defining event of their understanding as the people of God.

But celebrating this event reminded the people who God is and who they are. Their participation in the events related to the Passover feast shaped their identity as the people of God, an identity that would then go on to dictate how they made decisions about their own lives. It wasn’t something they did simply because they were told to; they believed that participation in this event impacted their lives.

This teaches us something of the benefit of a discipline. Whether that discipline be art or music or exercise, there is more involved than the mere acquisition of a skill. That’s a very real part of it, obviously. As you immerse yourself in a discipline, the more possibilities you see in it.

I remember watching those first 6th grade band Christmas concerts. The kids begin in September not even knowing which end of the instrument to blow into, and by December the group can play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star—no small feat! By the time the young musicians are seniors in high school, you can hear some fantastic music. As your skill increases, your ability to imagine new possibilities within the discipline increases as well.

This is why we place such a high priority on Christian traditions—our naming these things as important is a statement that we believe our life ought to be shaped in certain ways. It’s one reason why Brethren used to never have the bread and cup of communion without also having footwashing—our reconciliation with God and our reconciliation with one another are connected. We don’t want to do one without the other! We want to be shaped in such a way that we have such a deep understanding of how much God forgave us that we offer that forgiveness to others.

One of the significant purposes of spiritual disciplines is to help us grow in our attentiveness to God—to notice where God is working and where God is calling us to work. It may be that a side effect of having just celebrated Christmas is the need to go on a diet. Religious tradition and practice is designed to be a kind of diet. Maybe we need to lose some things (pounds, sinful habits); maybe we want to maximize our health (by growing in love for God and others) with a healthy diet.

Spiritual disciplines are also important because we do not live in a vacuum. There are external forces and pressures that compete for our soul’s attention. Just like our ability to maintain a physical diet is done in consideration with our health, our age, and our ability to avoid things like over-eating and our generally sedentary lifestyles, we live in an age where outside factors challenge our spiritual growth. We live in a time of great resistance to external authority and to authoritative instruction, especially in spiritual matters. When you combine these with our modern notion that reduces saving faith to the intellectual acknowledgment of the historical fact of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we end up with the temptation to privatize our belief in God. It’s much easier—and much more popular—to gather together a set of beliefs about our faith from a variety of sources and to evaluate ideas that challenge us based on our own sense of how things are or how we prefer them to be, rather than weighing them against a core set of Christian beliefs and practices that give definition to our faith.

But the best of our culture, and even the best of America, will not teach us how to follow Jesus. In the church, we are always raising up a counterculture. And we begin 2021 by attempting to do these things with the familiar patterns of Christian worship significantly on hold. We need to have a plan for the care of our soul. Spiritual disciplines are those practices that give shape to our faith and to our lives as a whole. Even Jesus practiced spiritual disciplines: at a young age he accompanied his parents to Jerusalem for Passover worship and stayed behind to question the elders of the faith. For us, we typically name things like worship, Sunday School/Bible Study, tithing, prayer, Bible reading.

So how do we do that in our present circumstances? I want to highlight the need to focus on the basics. I made the choice to follow the Narrative Lectionary through at least this winter and spring to give us a consistent walk through the Gospel of Luke. By happy coincidence, the Guide for Biblical Studies quarterly that we are following this spring is also largely taken from the Gospels. To help us focus closely on Jesus’ life, we have created a booklet that is an outline for a brief daily devotional. I encourage you to shape your spiritual lives with us in this way.

The devotional begins with the Lord’s Prayer, continues with a short New Testament passage taken both from Guide for Biblical Studies and from our sermon texts for the winter and spring. It continues with room for your own devotional practice (I know many of you read The Upper Room or another devotional resource) and then includes the Prayer of St. Francis. You’ll notice that these are two prayers that we have as part of the prayer walk and prayer garden on the church property, prayers that we believe shape our thinking and our asking, lining up our asking with Jesus desire to give.

Spiritual disciplines are connected to this question of our deepest need. We all know what we would ask Jesus for—but is it the thing we should ask Jesus for? Do we even know how to ask for what we most need? Or do we go around asking Jesus for things that we don’t really want, or don’t solve our problems.

Sisters and brothers, these are challenging times. They will remain challenging times for a while yet. Can we come together around Scripture, worship, Bible Study, and prayer this winter and spring? Join me in that.

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