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doe-eyed-fool · 29 days

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Fallen {Chapter Twenty Two}

Alastor x (fem)Reader

Warning(s): Mentions Of Past Abuse, Abusive Ex, Confrontation, Drug Overdose Mention

Knocking at my door caused me to stir out of my sleep, I groan and sit up in bed. "Yes?" I call. "Morning, Y/n! Hurry can get dress please. We have a new guest staying at the hotel!" I could hear Charlie from the other side of my door, voice filled with excitement.

I raise an eyebrow. A new guest? Huh...Well, alright. I tell her I'll be down in a second before getting dressed. I leave my room and make my way through the halls. Angel had caught up with me, and joined me on the way down.

"What do you think of the new guest?" I ask him as we step into the elevator. He shrugs. "No idea, haven't met em' yet. But, I hope it's a new hottie." He says with a smirk, I laugh lightly.

We get out of the elevator after a few seconds and walk into the lobby. Everyone was gather to greet the new sinner looking for redemption. I didn't get a good look at them, as they were being blocked by Charlie. Who, by the way, was over the moon to see them.

"Alright, who's the new guy?" Angel asks, crossing his arms. Charlie looks back at us with a wide smile. "Guys, I want you to meet Liam, our newest addition to the hotel! Yay!" She cheers as she steps aside, given us a better view of him.

Liam was a average sized wolf demon, his jet black fur looked an almost deep blue under the lights of the hotel, his red eyes scanned the room, ears flicking slightly. When his eyes landed on me, he grinned. But, for some reason...

His grin was not a friendly one.

I furrow my eyes in confusion, and then, he spoke.

"Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to be here."

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

That voice...I may have lost a bit of my memory, but I could never forget that voice. The voice that one minute, would be so loud it'd send me into a frozen shock.

Then the next, be so soothing and loving, that it'd make me forgive everything he's done for a while. I could never forget. Never ever forget that voice, his voice.

Angel seemed to be the only one who noticed my distress, he placed a hand on my shoulder. Only to take it away when I flinched under his touch. "Y/n?" He says quietly, voice filled with concern. I open my mouth to speak, but I couldn't find the words.

There was nothing I could say, even if I wanted to. My mind raced, everything became so loud so fast. My heart was beating like crazy, and I felt sick. "Y/n-" Angel didn't get my name out before I took off back to my room.

He watched me for a second before turning back to look at Liam, eyes narrowing in suspicion. 'Something ain't right...' He thought.

And he wasn't the only one who thought it. Alastor had thought anyone who'd come to this hotel for redemption, wasn't all the way there in the head. But...Liam seemed to be a whole new case. But, he kept his false welcoming persona as he spoke to Liam.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, my good man. But, I have important matters to attend to, so, you'll have to excuse me." Alastor says to him. Liam nods. "Sure thing." Alastor excuses himself from the group and walks away. Angel said nothing as he passed him by, but secretly hoped Alastor could help...

I paced in my room, arms clutched and wrapped around my body in a weak attempt of comfort. What the hell was going on!? Why was he here!? I mean, I'm not surprised he went to hell, but. Why here of all places!? Tears pooled in my eyes, my heart beating so fast it hurt. What am I going to do now?

I let out a sharp gasp as my door was open, I quickly turned to see Alastor. A wave a of relief washed over me at the sigh of him. "Alastor..." My voice cracked.

Alastor shut the door behind him and approached me, he didn't touch me right away, which I was grateful for. For now at least. "I take it, that was your ex?" He asked gently. I nod my head, tears streaming down my face. "W-What is he doing here? How the fuck did he find me?" I sob.

"I'm wondering the same thing." Alastor muttered. "Y/n, just give me the word, I'll go down there right now and have him taken care of."

"No!" I quickly say. "N-No...I...I don't want anyone to know by drawing attention."

"I can do it discreetly, it'll look like a bloody accident." Alastor tells me. "But...Charlie was so happy that there's someone new." I sigh. "Does that matter? Out there in that lobby is the reason your life was misery and why it was cut short." Said Alastor, almost in disbelief that I wouldn't let him get rid of that man.

"It doesn't...But, I think..." I exhale shakily. "I think I need to say my peace before I agree to anything." Alastor raises an eyebrow. "You want to speak to him?" He asks.

I nod my head. "There is so much I want to say to him...I want him to answer for all the pain he's caused me." Alastor was silent for a moment before speaking. "If that's what you want." He says softly. "Would you like me to come with you?"

"I think I should do this on my own. I might not get the answers I want, if it's not just the two of us." I tell him. "If you insist...But, the moment you feel that you're unsafe, just call for me. I will hear you." Alastor says firmly. "Understand?"

"I will, I promise."

Hours later, after Liam had gotten accustomed to the hotel, and when I was sure he'd be alone, was when I decided to finally speak with him. Wave after wave of anxiety washed over me, though I tried to stay calm. It would do me no good to run away. I've endured so much of his shit for so long, he will answer for it.

I will say what needs to be said, what should have been said a very long time ago. I found him right outside of the hotel, cigarette in hand. A puff of smoke left his lips, along with a deep exhale. His ears flickered towards my direction as I closed the hotel doors behind me.

He turned, and another rush of anxiety shot through me. "Hey there." He greets me. "Liam, can we speak?" Liam stares at me for a moment. "Do I know you?" He asks with a grin. "You do." I mutter. "I may not look like I use to, but I'm still the same. And I know it's you under that new form as well. Let's not pretend."

Liam's grin remained the same. "Yeah. I figured it was you, based on your reaction when you first saw me." He says before taking another drag.

He exhaled the smoke and casually asks me. "How have you been?" I clench my fists tightly at my side. "I'm surprised to see you here." He continues. "You were always so nice. What did you do? Hm? You do some terrible things I didn't know about or something?"

"Why did you do it?" I ask, ignoring his questions. "Hm? Do what?" He asks. "Don't act like you don't know! Why!? How could you do that to me!?" My emotions began to take over. And his stupid fucking grin was only upsetting me further.

Liam flicks the cigarette away before taking a step towards me. "I was good to you." I kept on. "I tried to be a good girlfriend, a good fiancé. I would have been a good wife. But you...all you've ever done was hurt me. You never appreciated me, you lied to me, you made me feel like less than a person. And for what? I would blame myself, but I've done nothing wrong. I stayed with you because it meant so much to my family, as well as yours. I did it for their sake, but most of all, I did it for you."

I continue. "I know how your family was. They were so insistent that we marry, or else you'd get the shit end of the stick for it. And I loved you...so why wouldn't I agree?"

"Why Liam? Just why?" Tears filled my eyes. "Why did you kill me?"

Liam was but a step away from me. "I didn't want to kill you." He starts. "You know how much shit, I went through because you died? My parents had to pull so many strings, get through to the right people, just to make sure no one found out. They hated me for it...Said I was a fucking disappointment. Didn't want me to get the shit end of the stick, huh? If only you didn't fucking mouth off to me that day. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten so angry. But you always had to test me, even now...you don't know when to quit."

"You have no one to blame but yourself Liam." I said firmly. "I didn't make you push me down those stairs. God, I feel so stupid. I don't know why I couldn't see it sooner. You were a bad person then, and I see nothing has changed now. Liam, I wanted to stay with you because I really did love you. At one point I did. I wish things could have been different, but, I see now that we were doomed from the start. I can't help you, I don't know how to, and I can't suffer by trying. I wish I were brave enough to say all this while I was still alive. But better late than never, I guess."

I turn to leave. "That's all I wanted to say. I don't think you're serious about this hotel, so I don't expect you to stay long. But while you're here...I hope you'll stay away from me. Because, I want nothing to do with you ever again."

"I don't think you really understand, Y/n."

I stop walking. "You ruined my life when you died. My parents pretty much disowned me. Cut me off, and I was left on my own. I struggled to keep employment, I turned to drugs, and I eventually died trying to forget that fucking night when you died. It's your fault you died, it's your fault I became an addict, and it's your fault I died. I'm suffering, and I will continue to suffer forever, because of you!"

I couldn't believe what he was saying. I was right, he really isn't capable of change. I turn to give him a piece of my mind, but it was then in that moment, he lunged at me...

And everything went dark...

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #abusive ex #abuse mention #past abuse #drugs #overdose

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wastedchildhood · 4 months

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apologies mean nothing to me. you’ll never change.

#ok to rb #ptsd #trauma #actuallytraumatized #vent #abuse #abuse survivor #mental illness #actually mentally ill #toxic ex #csa vent #abusive ex #abusive copycat #abusive relationship #abusive family

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withascaleandafeather · 2 months

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Woke up to an email from my ex. She's so sorry. She didn't tell her friends to harass me. She knows she doesn't deserve forgiveness. Her life is so awful. Blah blah blah. What a way to start a morning. As if my depression hasn't been kicking me in the teeth enough.

#personal #abusive relationships #abusive ex

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vitalventing · 1 year

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Missing your abusive ex is so confusing. Obviously I don’t miss the way I was treated but I miss who he was on the good days, I miss parts of his personality and the way he thought and moved himself. I still care for him, even though he has been so awful to me. What do I do with these feelings??

#ipv #dv #abuse #abuse victim #abuse survivor #abusive #toxic relationship #abusive relationship #intimate partner violence #domestic violence #domestic abuse #missing abusive ex #emotional abuse #mental abuse #psychological abuse #toxic ex #abusive ex

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r-ando-m-w-rite-r · 1 year

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Keep the Good Ones Close

-TW: Abuse, Injuries, Cussing

-Around 5.2K words

-May be some grammar mistakes, ignore them

-A short Revenant x Reader; not a lot of fluff, but just something I thought of incorporating Revenant, Anita, and (Y/n)

-Enjoy!

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You had just emerged from your evening shower through the doorway of the bathroom. Wrapped in a soft towel, you closed your eyes and took in a deep, peaceful breath. Stretching slightly, you felt your body untense. All of your previous stress and anxiety fell off your body as if you were shedding a layer of skin. And for a second, you forgot about reality and all of it’s worries. The Apex Games, bills, the bruises on your skin. Everything began to fade from your mind.

However, you opened your eyes after a moment and froze. There, sitting on the couch and watching you with two glinting eyes, was your boyfriend. All of the worries rushed back. There was no emotions in his face, and you began to worry. Was he drunk? Irritated? Tired? All good enough reasons for him to beat you and take his anger out on you. You felt your hands shake, and you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out for a few good seconds.

“Y-You came home early...” you finally mustered, stuttering slightly but trying to pull yourself together. Had he told you earlier this morning that he would be coming home early? What an idiot you were, you should’ve remembered something that important. And now you may be paying for it, depending on how he felt this evening. Inhaling shakily, you continued. “I don’t have dinner made or-”

You stopped abruptly as he stood. His posture was..different. As if he was trying to make himself taller than he actually was. Puffing out his chest. Not slouching like he usually did. Those sorts of things. “So..” he said, taking a step forward. “I’ve caught wind of a situation.” He growled out the last word, and you gulped. You swore you had been a good partner, what had you accidentally done out of line?

He took another step in your direction, and as much as you itched to take a step back, you controlled yourself. Knowing of his bipolar tendencies, he would snap on you immediately if you even moved a foot from where you were standing. And you couldn’t help but wonder why he would always be confused as to why you seemed afraid of him, which you were. The amounts of times he had come home from the Games just to use you as his punching bag was unreal.

He was closer than you realized now, only one or two feet away from you. You could smell his breath, it stank of alcohol. That was it. He had been down at Paradise Lounge taking a shot or two when something had been said to him. Something about you. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, but then again, it hadn’t happened in a long while. You felt yourself begin to sweat. You weren’t guilty of anything, but for some reason you still acted so when innocent. It was a bad habit of yours.

Your boyfriend saw your eyes dart left and right in a frenzy, and when he touched your skin, you flinched. He lightly smacked the spot he had brushed, and you winced. It was minor compared to the things he had done before, but still stung nevertheless. He touched the spot again, surprisingly gentle. But you knew that wouldn’t last long. “You have chicken skin.” He stared down at the spot he had rubbed on your forearm, thinking. Shit.

You tried to brace yourself for whatever could happen next, but even that was not enough to stop yourself from being driven into a wall. You cried out as your back roughly hit the plaster wall behind you. There would definitely be bruises there later. Your towel fell off without the support of your hand, and he used your vulnerability to his advantage, pressing your bare hip against the wall with his hand. His other was shoving your opposite shoulder into the wall. You were pinned.

“Is it true you’ve been sleeping with that monster Revenant?” he spit out, pushing into your skin harder. “I mean, what does he have, a metal cock or something? You would know.” Tears sprung into your eyes as his nails dug into your skin. The accusations stung like slaps to the face. Did he have no trust in you whatsoever? “Hmm? You have no response? Well, I’ll make you respond...” he growled, that all common hint of drunk in his voice.

Suddenly, he slapped you across the face. Your head jolted to the left, and you saw stars. He screamed something at you as he let go of your body and stepped back. You slid down the wall and landed on the floor, but you didn’t know what he said. Your ears buzzed and your vision blurred slightly. His hit to your head had really done some damage this time. You fell on your side, the cold floor chilling your body quickly. You looked up at him weakly, and he stared back down at you in silence. He was done? But you hadn’t even answered his quest-

Just then a kick landed right in the middle of your chest, and you howled out in pain as his boot made contact with your flesh. Your heart throbbed and you began panting as you looked down. A massive, swelling, purple-ish bruise was already developing on the spot. Ouch. You watched desperately as he kicked you elsewhere, but for some reason you couldn’t feel it.

Was it because you were getting used to it? It seemed as if you were. You did have bruises and cuts already running all along your body, and at this point, you looked like a leopard. Luckily, every time you went out, your clothes covered everything. Once again, this was your life. But what if it could be different? It seemed impossible, but what if you just told someone...?

No, you couldn’t. It seemed as if everyone was his ally, feeding him false rumors and lies like the one that had resulted in your current beating. Someone would find out about you sharing your private life and tell him, and it wasn’t like you could leave and escape his wrath if that was the case. He would either force you to stay or straight up kick you out and leave you with nothing. And then where would you go? You had quit the Games two years ago after you had gotten with him, and you were living off of his income.

You felt yourself come back to the present, and your boyfriend was standing over you, panting as well. He stared down at your blank face, and when you made eye contact with him, he growled. “Answer me.” he said menacingly. Your whole body ached and throbbed. You shook your head slowly, and when you tried to talk, all that came out was a cough. However, you willed yourself to speak, or else further damage would be inflicted upon you.

“N-No, I’ve never even held a c-conversation with him.” you croaked out. That was a lie. There had been a few times in the past when you had spotted him staring at you. Whether it was on the dropship or Paradise Lounge. These occurrences had been before you met your boyfriend, of course, and you haven’t talked to the Legend since. However, you do still catch him staring at you every now and then, to your boyfriend’s annoyance.

He eyed you for a few seconds longer before groaning and reaching up to rub his temple. Without another word being spoken, he walked past your crumpled and wounded body into the bathroom. The door slammed behind him, and this was when you pulled yourself to your feet. Using the wall to the best of your ability, you stood on two wobbly legs. You heaved in breaths, and your chest ached with each one.

Grabbing your towel, you wrapped yourself up, feeling weak and embarrassed at how vulnerable you had been. Despite him seeing your naked body quite often, you still didn’t like being exposed around him because it usually meant rough and forced sex. However, once the towel was secure again, you didn’t hesitate. Walking briskly over to the front door, you quietly cracked it open, slipping through the opening and gently shutting it behind you. Sure, you were only in a towel, but you needed to go before things got worse.

You were outside of the room. It had felt like ages since you had been let out, and it had truly been months since you had last made an appearance in public. Your boyfriend restricted you from going anywhere without him, and since he was almost always out drinking or playing in the Games, it was near impossible to get out. He would always be exhausted or drunk when he came home, and the time spent with him would either consist of him beating you or fucking you, or even a mix of both. You felt like a tool.

Despite all that, here you were, breaking his rule. It felt good, and you felt free, but realization hit you after a second. He would be coming for you. You had to go and find someone, anyone to help you. Stumbling to your right, you limped forward on what felt like lifeless lumps supporting you. One of your ankles was swollen and throbbing, and you began to wonder if it was broken and the pain just hadn’t set in yet. You decided to favor the non-swollen ankle, just in case.

You turned a corner and stopped in your tracks when you looked up from the ground. Only a few feet ahead of you stood the red simulacrum himself. Embarrassed, you felt yourself blush slightly. But as your heart rate increased, so did the pain in your chest. A small sound emerged from your throat, and you grabbed slightly at your breast area. Revenant just stared at you, obviously trying to process what was wrong with you.

“(Y/n)...” he whispered faintly. “(Y/n).” He spoke up when he said your name the second time, and he must’ve realized the severity of your injuries. You swore, even for a second, that you heard his soft side come out when he first muttered your name. It was a note in his voice, one that showed concern. This comforted you a little.

He quickly closed the distance between you two. You felt his hand on your chin, lifting your face up so you could make eye contact with him. His other hand felt for your pulse, and his eyes quickly took in your weak and pathetic body before looking back into your face.

He stared down at you, mixtures of sadness and concern and fury all plastered on his face. “Who did this to you?” he growled, his normal self coming back into his voice. You just looked up at him and smiled slightly, happy that he cared despite you ignoring him for what seemed like forever. Tears welled up, sliding down your cheeks as gravity took control of them. For the first time in two years, you silently cried in front of someone other than your boyfriend.

A door slammed in the corridor behind you, and someone was huffing in anger. Your eyes widened, and you couldn’t help but whimper. “My..my boyfriend.” you hiccuped out as more tears flowed. He was going to find you, and then what? Revenant could only do so much if he was even willing to do anything. Oh, you never wanted to go back to your boyfriend’s room. Never ever again.

Revenant stared down at you for a moment before seemingly connecting the dots. With one quick movement, he swept you up into his arms, and you let out a little squeak of protest. Some of the bruises on your back began to ache from the sudden act. However, Revenant ignored your sounds and walked a little farther, turning a corner. Sure, it was painful, but he was saving you from even more painful things.

He walked a few doors down before stopping in front of one and knocking. He stood there for a moment, you in his arms. You stared up at him, and when he sensed your gaze, he couldn’t help but look down at you for a moment. As he did so, he couldn’t look away. Your eyes were like a trance. He reached up his free hand in an attempt to stroke your cheek, but he quickly pulled his hand back down as the door opened slightly.

A groggy face peeked out, and it was none other than Anita, one of your old sparring friends. Memories flooded back as you looked down into her face. She had taught you everything you needed to know and more when you had first joined the Games years ago, and you were forever in her gratitude. You hadn’t realized how much you missed her until now. In fact, you hadn’t realized how much you missed everybody.

Anita looked up at you sleepily, but her squinted eyes quickly widened at the sight of you, bruises peeking out underneath the soft but skimpy towel you were using to cover yourself. “(Y/n)!” she cried out in shock and sadness. Revenant quickly placed you down on your shaking legs, looking at the way you two had just come from with impatience. You leaned onto your good leg when your swollen ankle cried out at the pain from pressure.

As soon as you were on the ground, Anita wrapped you in a hug, pulling away after a few seconds but keeping her hands on your shoulders. You noticed tears in her eyes that she quickly blinked away before speaking. “Where..what...how...what happened to you?” Her small grin turned into a frown as she looked you up and down. She had seen the bruises from Revenant’s arms, but when up close, there were way more than she had expected.

“Now’s not the time.” Revenant growled out as someone turned the corner. He whipped his head around and shoved you inside the room. Anita’s door swung open, and you fell from the simulacrum’s shove. You braced yourself, but before you could hit the ground, Anita caught you and quickly pulled you back up. Revenant slammed the door shut, locking it behind him and leaning up against the door. He sighed, and despite being shaky from almost face-planting, you wondered if he had actually been scared of being discovered in that moment.

“What the hell, Rev!” Anita whisper-yelled. “You almost made her fall! She’s already injured enough.” Revenant growled, taking a step forward.

“Well, if it weren’t for my quick actions, our cover would’ve just been blown!” he whisper-shouted back. Anita cleared the space between them and stood up as tall as she could, as if she wanted to get all up in his face.

“Does it look like I care, big guy? Her life is on the line after all.” He leaned down, and he was the one to get in her face. She didn’t flinch as he spoke.

“Don’t test me, girly.” he threatened. “Either way, you’re right, her life is on the line. But I did what felt needed to be done, even if I do regret it.” They stared at each other for a couple of seconds before Anita finally gave in and huffed, stepping away. Revenant stood back up straight and snorted victoriously.

Meanwhile, you had sat on a sturdy couch nearby, listening for any hints of your boyfriend prowling outside the door. He had most likely seen Revenant before the door shut, and both him and Anita had been quite loud with their bickering. Your anxiety levels rose with each second of silence that passed by. Was he waiting for someone to step out? Was he waiting for you?

A hand grasped your shoulder, and you startled quickly, scrambling backwards. Anita pulled back her hand in a slight shock, and she frowned down at you with pity. You noticed Revenant watching you two from the back, and he had the same look: pity. But when he saw you looking, he contorted his face back to one of neutrality. Damn, he was good at disguising his emotions.

No words were said for a moment, just eyes staring at you. It sent your anxiety levels through the roof. You didn’t show it, but internally you were screaming. The pressure was too much, and even though the danger was outside, you felt it’s presence in this room. It had come with you, through your bruises and cuts, leaving you infected with it.

“Come on.” Anita suddenly said, pulling you out of your chaotic thoughts and into the serenity and quietness of the room around you. She held out her hand, and you slowly took it. She then pulled you up and wrapped an arm around your waist to brace you. You blushed slightly as her hand fell below your hip, and her fingers brushed your butt ever-so-slightly. It was obviously an accident, but an awkward one at that, and she didn’t seem to notice as she led you to the bathroom across from the kitchen area.

As you two walked past Revenant, you caught him glaring at Anita’s hand on your side, and you were confused. Why was he mad about it? You knew he was protective, and sure, you may have been a little flirty with him every now and then years back. But that was a long time ago, and there didn’t seem to be anything more between the two of you. Unless...unless he was jealous, then something was definitely up.

Anita walked you into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She then withdrew her hand from you and stepped back. Crossing her arms, she waited there patiently, watching you expectantly. You stared blankly back at her. “C’mon now, we don’t have all night.” she said, now tapping her toe. Your brows furrowed with confusion.

“You don’t want me to-”

“Yes, I want you to.” The tips of your ears turned red, and it must’ve been noticeable, because Anita sighed and spoke up. “(Y/n), if I felt anything for you, I would’ve told you many years ago.” You couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at her sarcasm, even though it made your chest ache. She chuckled along with you, and her rumbling laugh made you smile wistfully. Just like the good old days...before your boyfriend. Now that thought made you frown.

“Alright, alright, settle down now.” Anita said, getting serious again. “I’m just in here for safety reasons, but if you want me to, I’ll turn away while you change.” You nodded in appreciation at her gesture of kindness, and she quickly turned to face the door. You slowly peeled off your dampened and sweaty towel, tossing it on the tiled floor, and your bruises began to sting slightly as flowing air hit them.

“You know, I don’t see why it’s such a problem if I see you naked.” Anita suddenly spouted off. “I mean, we’re both girls, and I’ve been your companion since the beginning of the Games. I taught you everything! We’re blood! And plus, I’m gonna have to look at you anyway since I have to clean you up-”

“Anita.” you muttered in a tone that she knew meant ‘stop, you’re being annoying’. You considered covering yourself up, but it was too late anyway, as Anita had already turned around. She gazed at you for a second, and as her eyes dropped down, she quickly made an effort to snap them back up. You noticed and shook your head in disapproval.

“Hey!” she said defensively, raising her hands up. “What can I say? You have nice titties.” You snorted and she burst out laughing. You didn’t also, but only because your chest already hurt enough. You beamed at her, though. It was nice bringing joy to her face. After all, the only time you ever had seen her in the last two years was through a TV broadcasting the Games, and she was always serious in those recordings.

Anita then grabbed your arm for support, and you quickly made an effort to sit down in the bathtub. It was a sparkling white, and as the bright LED lights shone off of the walls’ surfaces, it became an eyesore. Anita must’ve noticed as she was turning on the water, because she quickly bustled over to the light switch and dimmed the overhead lights. That was better.

“Thanks for, well, all of this, Anita.” you said in a comforted tone, but switched over to one of sorrow after a moment. “I’m sorry I threw this all upon you.” You felt guilty for just suddenly thrusting all of your problems onto one of your best friends, even though it technically had been Revenant who had done so. And the same to him, you felt bad for ever running into him in the hallway and throwing him into this mess. You should’ve just gone and gotten security to do their job-

“(Y/n).” Anita said in a serious voice, pulling you out of your thoughts. She stared intently at you, sponge in hand. “Don’t ever apologize to someone who’s helping you. The person does it out of the goodness of their heart. And you’re my best friend, why would I not help you?” You took in her words and processed them. Blinking back tears of gratitude, you inhaled deeply and exhaled with the same force. The running water was calming you, and your anxiety was finally lowering back down again.

Anita began scrubbing you with the sponge, now lathered in soap, on your arms. She started with your shoulder and worked her way down whilst striking conversation. “So..” she said in a slightly mischievous tone. “I saw that little connection between you and Rev earlier.” You felt yourself heat up, and it wasn’t just the boiling water beginning to fill up the bathtub.

You shook your head slightly, not wanting to admit anything. Sure, you hadn’t really thought about it this way, but you secretly did kind of have a thing for the bot. But you were afraid he didn’t back, despite everything he had already done to clue you into the fact that he did. Either way, you were afraid of rejection, that was all.

Anita gave you a look of ‘I don’t want to hear that bullshit’ before continuing to scrub away at your cuts, to which you winced after she hit a raw one on your waist. “C’mon (Y/n), don’t lie to yourself. I saw the way he used to look at you back before...” She hesitated saying his name, so she quickly dodged before things could get any more awkward. “...well, you know. But still.”

“Anita, I promise you he doesn’t like me back.” you said, trying to affirm yourself so, despite not wanting it to be that way. It actually seemed like a nice prospect to date the simulacrum, but right now, you needed to take a break from romance in general. Your boyfri-no, your ex scarred you enough, and you didn’t want the wound to fester anymore that it already had.

Anita just grunted in response but said nothing more. She tapped your knee, requesting for you to lift your foot out of the water. You did, and she gasped. “(Y/n), what the fuck!?” she exclaimed, astonished.

“Hmm?” you said, opening your eyes back up, as you had begun to doze off. You looked in the direction her eyes were going and saw what she was looking at. Your ankle. It was swollen horribly, almost to the size of a small melon, and the coloring of your skin in that area was a yellow-ish pale. That wasn’t normal.

“Venous reflux.” she breathed in a worrying tone. “We need to get you to a doctor before Putting the sponge down and turning off the water, she stood and walked to the door. Opening it, she looked back once before saying in a hurry, “I’ll be right back with clothes.” With that, the door shut behind her, and you were alone, soaking in hot bath water.

You looked back at your foot, which was now resting on the ledge of the bathtub, and realized how severe the swelling was. However, before you let your anxiety levels spike again, you sunk down farther into the bubbles coating the surface of the water. The scent, the feel, it all relaxed you, and you calmed yourself. Until Anita came back, you would relax.

Just then, the door cracked open slightly, and you internally sighed. Back already? But when no one came in right away, you raised an eyebrow. Did the door just open naturally with airflow? But you jumped as Revenant emerged from the other side of the door, growling. Your mind went into panic mode, as you were weak, naked, and vulnerable in front of the simulacrum that evidently ‘loved’ you, according to Anita.

You realized, however, that all the bubbles were covering everything but your head and your swollen foot. Good enough, you said to yourself. At least your privates weren’t on display. His LEDs locked on your face but then quickly shifted over to your ankle. You watched as his claws shook ever-so-slightly, but he otherwise didn’t react. He stared at your foot for a few seconds before looking you back in the eyes.

His gaze, it was so mesmerizing. Maybe he did like you. What if he did? Could he come over here right now and reach into the warm water and touch you? Would he caress you like he had tried to do outside Anita’s door? Would he play underneath the water with you and make you aroused? Were you aroused already? What if he did do that, then what? Would you love him back?

“Hey!” Anita suddenly shouted from somewhere outside of the room. “Get out of there!” Revenant quickly escorted himself out, and there was a brief argument from what you could hear held outside. After a moment, however, it fell quiet, and Anita slowly pushed her way into the room, slamming the door behind her. She was pissed, you could tell.

“I told him about your ankle and he fucking had to check, even though I told him to wait until you were decent.” she grumbled as she set down a small pile of clothes and pulled the drain near the front of the bathtub. All of the water was gone within ten seconds, and she helped you up from the bathtub. Your swollen ankle was numb at this point, so Anita had you lean up against the wall while she helped you into some of her clothes.

“There.” she said with satisfaction as she pulled the sweatshirt over your head. You felt comfy and warm, and you nodded at Anita, pleased with her choice of clothes.

“Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it.” She wrapped her hand around your waist for support, and you followed suit on her waist. This time, she didn’t reach any farther, and you wondered if she purposely did the first time just to piss Revenant off. Together, you both emerged from the bathroom, her walking slowly, you hobbling on one foot. Revenant stood by the door impatiently, obviously still bitter about whatever Anita had said while scolding him minutes beforehand. However, he looked at you, and you saw his anger vanish for a moment before returning. So maybe that was what Anita had been talking about when she had said she saw the signs.

“Anyone waiting out there?” she questioned the bot, indicating to the hallway. He just growled under his breath and shook his head. “Good, let’s go, (Y/n).” Revenant opened the door, and you two emerged into the hallway. You quickly looked both ways, but the corridor was empty. You let out a pent-up breath in relief. When Revenant tried to follow, though, Anita stopped in her tracks and held up her free hand. “No, Rev, I want you to stay here. We don’t need you showing up at the hospital and making everyone think the Grim Reaper’s finally made his appearance.”

Revenant began to protest. “No, I-”

“No ifs, ands, or buts.” Anita said in annoyance. Revenant growled deeply, but turned around to stalk back inside her apartment. Something told you this wasn’t right.

“Wait.” you said. Anita looked at you, confused about whether you were talking to her or not. Revenant paused, looking back over his shoulder, curious. You looked at him, and after a moment you realized you were staring and cleared your throat, embarrassed. “I-I want Revenant to come.” you muttered, and Anita cocked her head. Your whole face flushed, and you prayed it wasn’t as noticeable as it felt.

Anita was silent for a moment before sighing out, “You’re lucky you’re my friend, (Y/n).” You looked up at her with gratitude flooding into your eyes. She just snorted at you and motioned to the bot. “C’mon, tin can.” Revenant growled at the nickname but shut the door behind him and came up behind you two. He moved in especially close to you, to the point where he was almost touching the backside of your body.

Anita gave you a look, and you pleaded at her with your eyes not to make things awkward. However, she shrugged you off and said, “Oh, and here, take your girlfriend.” She abruptly let go of you and slid away, leaving you with no support. You wobbled and fell forward, but before you hit the floor, Revenant’s claw grabbed your middle section, pulling you back up.

He placed you back on your good foot, and before you could fall again, he braced one hand along the small of your back. The other he opened and held out for you to grasp onto. You grabbed onto his hand, and he clenched it gently but firmly. You watched in annoyance as Anita gawked at the two of you. “Awww, look at these two cuties.” You rolled your eyes, but Revenant didn’t react.

Confused by his silence, you looked up at him. He was staring right down at you, and while most would’ve been creeped out, you found it reassuring. You saw the care and gentleness in his yellow LEDs, and you melted instantly. The borders that had once been guarding your heart from him broke down, and you forgot all about your ex and the cuts and the bruises and the swollen ankle. As long as you were with him, you were safe.

You two continued staring into each other’s eyes, and you felt him slowly leaning closer to you. The only thing that broke the contact was Anita. “Alright lovebirds, wrap it up and let’s go.” You turned and watched as she began down the hallway, and Revenant growled her way. But as he began leading you after her, you slowly leaned into his side.

At first, he stiffened. But after a moment, his hand bracing your back slid to your waist, as Anita’s had been before, and he pulled you in closer. You squeezed his hand, and he must’ve felt it, because he reciprocated. It was in that moment that you realized, even if your ex did come after you, or your injuries were going to take a long time to heal and handicap you for some time, as long as you were alongside Revenant, you would be safe and loved.

#apex #apexlegends #revenant #revenant x reader #y/n #abuse #abusive boyfriend #abusive ex #anita #bangalore #anita bangalore #bruises and cuts #revenant apex legends #bangalore apex legends #pov #short story #thx for reading

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laikacore · 7 months

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i'm not saying i didn't do it

i'm saying i was pushed

i'm not saying i'm innocent

i'm saying you aren't too

i'm not saying it's on me

i'm saying it's still on you

(when your hands are tied to puppeteer, when your world spins on fire

wouldn't you find yourself with the same vitriol turning your gyre?

now when the dust has settled and nearly a year has gone by

don't you see the evidence you couldn't have saved that life?

pack horse, mother hen, you are not that little girl

you carry anger inside you but you do not use it to kill

there is gentleness in your hands, there is gentleness in you

you wouldn't blame the beaten dog for wanting to bite too)

after five years of abuse by laika wallace

#trauma poetry #abusive ex #domestic abuse #abusive relationship #surviving abuse

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opossum-dyke · 6 months

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Working myself down from a huge panic attack because my abusive ex joined a discord server I'm in and *could have* found me...

I really hope she never finds me here

I really hope she never finds me irl

#i was panicking so hard i thought I was gonna throw up #tw #abusive ex #abusive relationship #panic #panic attack #Aqueertalksqueerly

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bpdohwhatajoy · 2 months

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fuck you for demonizing my reactions to your abuse

#ryan.txt #just said this in a tag #it deserves to be its own post #abusive ex #ptsd #cptsd #trauma #traumatized

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weird-kid-maxx · 5 months

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I'm Not Him (And Never Will Be) (My Babysitter's A Vampire Benny Weir X Fem! OC)

Forewarning: I am putting Jesse as a good guy in all of these (except, MAYBE, a few) because I genuinely like Jesse and felt he could've had a redemption arc after the season 2 finale.

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Prompt: The reader (OC) breaking down at an inconvenient moment after something seemingly harmless evokes a horrific memory.

Summary: The OC, Athena, has an abusive ex that used to hit her for every little thing. Fast-forward three years, and she's with Benny Weir. When two jocks get in a fight at school and accidentally injure her, she freaks, and the truth comes out.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort.

Warnings: Abuse; First Fight; Relationship Trauma; Abusive Ex; PTSD; Sweet Benny; Hurt Benny Weir; Hurt OC.

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Third Person POV

Athena has been with Benny for four months, and yet all they did to this day was hold hands, share kisses, and cuddle. Now, Benny wasn't a pushy guy. She didn't want to get intimate or whatever, that was fine! He wasn't needy like that. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so he went at her pace. It's just...sometimes, he was confused. She seemed so fine one second, and then someone would snap, or yell or say something, and she'd go all tense and quiet, and he would wonder, not for the first time, if she was possibly hiding some dark secret. He wanted her to trust him. And she did, but...not with whatever was hurting her. He understood, but...it hurt.

Lately, he's been asking the vampires about Athena. Had they noticed anything different? Was she acting weird, or was it just him? "Don't push her," Jesse told Benny one day at lunch as Athena stood in line with Ethan and Sarah. "She'll tell you when she's ready. One of my biggest mistakes was pushing Sarah." He added. "That's why I lost her." "Oh. Okay." Benny said as the other three approached.

He spent the next few days sort of...analyzing Athena. If someone yelled, he watched her body language. He didn't mean to treat her like a science experiment, she was just worrying him.

One day, two jocks got in a fight. They were arguing pretty loudly when Jesse, Erica, Benny, and Athena left Math, right there in the hall, and were throwing insults back and forth. Now, usually, nobody would bother, but everyone in the hall felt that it would get violent in under ten seconds, so a girl ran to get the staff, and the taller one suddenly shoved the shorter one into the locker, and he tripped into the metal, slamming into Athena, knocking her to the ground with a slam that echoed painfully in Benny's ears.

At that point, Jesse snarled, shoving the two struggling humans apart as Athena scrambled to her feet and bolted, shoving past the crowd and nearly knocking another girl into the lockers. Benny, though he wanted to go after her, knew he had to let her breathe, and started helping Jesse separate the jocks, still shouting at one another, until teachers swarmed the hallway, pulling them apart. "Where's Athena?" Sarah gasped, eyes wide. "This way!" Erica called, running down the hall at human speed. The others shared glances and followed her into the closest closet.

She was in the corner, knees to her face, crying. "Athena!" Benny pushed past a startled Erica. No one had seen her cry, not like this. "Hey, hey, what--" He flinched as her hands flew up, pushing at him, and she whimpered, "Don't--don't touch me."

"Hey, it's me!" Benny blinked, hurt. She glanced up, and Benny's heart twisted. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she had claw marks on her cheeks, flushed pink, from her nails. "What happened?" Sarah asked. Jesse grabbed Sarah's arm. "Let's give them a minute, okay?" He asked, eyes checking Athena over. As the girls left the closet, he asked, "You okay, Thena?" She nodded. "Thank you," She whispered. Jesse smiled softly and told Benny, "We'll be right outside." He left, shutting the door carefully so it didn't slam.

"I'm sorry." Athena whispered, rubbing her sweaty hands on her jeans. "It's okay. What...what happened, why'd you freak so bad?" He asked. "Does it scare you when that happens?" He wondered. "Sort of?" She hedged. At his curious look, she sighed. "I had an ex. Remember me telling you about Jay?" She wondered, and he nodded. "Yeah, you said you broke up with him because it didn't work out." He recalled. "It didn't, because...he used to hurt me. He would...hit me a lot, and he'd call me names. He was really abusive and controlling, and now, because of him, if something happens--a fight too close, too much yelling, something resembling anger--I freak and have a panic attack." She said softly. Benny's eyes widened. "What?" He asked in a voice that made Athena wish she'd never opened her mouth. "Who...who'd hurt you, you're an awesome person!" He nearly yelled. She flinched. "I'm sorry, please..." She whispered.

"No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He whispered, reaching forwards, and stopped. "Can I hug you?" "Of course!" She said, wrapping her arms around Benny. She sunk into his arms. For every time she remembered Jay's harsh words or fists, Benny was there to chase it all away.

Outside the closet, Erica's eyes watered. "I never knew." She whispered, leaning against the wall. Sarah blinked, and a tear traced her cheek. "I don't think any of us did." She whispered, eyes flicking to Jesse's. The older vampire was glaring down the hall. "I'm gonna kill him." "No." The voice said, and the door opened. "Please, don't." Athena whispered, rubbing her still-pink cheeks dry of tears. "He hurt you, so let me kill him." Erica promised. "Guys, no. Just...stay with me. I need you guys here with me." Athena whispered, eyes watering again. "Okay. We can stay." Jesse sighed. Athena smiled. "Thank you." She turned to Benny, hiding her face in his striped hoodie. For a moment, Benny looked a little scary. His face was cold and flat, and his eyes were almost black. "You, uh...look a little...different," Sarah hedged. He glanced at her. "I...I'm taking her home." He grabbed Athena's hand and led her down the hall. Once they were gone, Sarah smiled. "I know where he lives." Erica and Jesse looked at her. "We're going hunting. Tonight." She snarled, stalking down the hall. Erica grinned, and Jesse laughed.

#mbav season 2 finale #benny weir #sarah fox #erica jones #mbav fanfic #mbav stuff #mbav #x oc #x female oc #jesse mbav x reader #jesse “horace” black #tw abuse #abusive ex #trauma #past trauma #emotional abuse

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