#abusive relationship

[neuroticboyfriend]

if someone is regularly cruel to you, that's not okay at all. it doesn't matter if they do good things sometimes. they're hurting you, repeatedly. they probably aren't even giving you genuine apologies, right? at best, they just keep trying to justify their actions and wrap it up in pretty language and confident tone, don't they? does that sound like love and care to you? does that sound like anything other than self preservation and an attempt to keep control over you, so they can keep abusing/neglecting you without consequence?

that's not love. that's never been love. you deserve infinitely better, and i hope someday the both of us fully understand what it means to be safe and loved, as a mundane part of life. because that's how it should be. this is not all there is.

#softspoonie #messages to myself #abuse survival #abuse survivor #abuse victim #abusive relationship #abuse recovery #trauma #gaslighting #neglect #trauma survivor #trauma survival #trauma victim #love #mental health #mental health support #survivor #abuse

[one-abuse-survivor]

Abusers have human sides to them too.

When abuse, whether real or fictional, is talked about in media, one of two things usually happens. The abuser is either completely dehumanised and painted as an evil caricature, or given a tragic backstory that makes the victim feel so sorry for their abuser they end up forgiving them.

And I think this is part of why it can be so hard to believe we ourselves are going through abuse. Because when it's you going through it, you see the human side of your abuser too. You see them cry, and laugh, and overcome adversity, and be vulnerable, and feel scared and small. You see them struggle and you see them genuinely try to spend quality time with you, and you see them show the ways they love you. Sometimes, you can even see that they mean it when they say they love you.

And because we've been taught that "actual" abusers are all bad, heartless, merciless, and lacking in humanity, and everyone else is just a suffering person who hurt others because they were hurting inside, we think what we're going through can't possibly be abuse. We think we're exaggerating, or being weak, or selfish. We punish ourselves for not being more understanding of what they're going through. We convince ourselves we're making it all up and we're the monsters in our own story.

But we're not. We're just not used to acknowledging that abusers are human, and that their humanity does not negate their abuse.

If you've ever questioned your abuse because your abuser was struggling, or genuinely loved you, or was trying their best, or expressed conflicting emotions, or was abused themselves, this post is for you. I believe you. I believe what happened to you was abuse. Their circumstances did not justify their actions.

I believe you, and you are not alone.

#Abuse #Abuse tw #Abuse survivor #Abuse victim #abusive relationship #Abusive parents #Abusive family #Abusive partner #Abuse recovery #I know media does get it right many times #But not enough of them (in my personal opinion) considering how *wired* abuse victims are to believe they're not actually being abused #And if I see one more story where the victim is basically forced to empathise with their abuser and forgive and help them I WILL SCREAM

[junorsky]

The sun was in that chain

for "palmarosa" by @not-poignant

#bg3 #bg3 fanart #devil #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #nothing suggestive... here #abusive relationship #baldur's gate 3 raphael #metaphorical restraints #weaknesses #dark stuff #fanfiction #vampire

[sa-dnesss]

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no holes punched into the walls, no name calling, shaming or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. No fear, no hurt and no worries. I may come from a broken and twisted place but I will build something whole and safe.

#tw abuse #physical abuse #abusive parents #child abuse #parental abuse #abusive relationship #abusive #toxic family #toxic parents #toxic household #emotional abuse #bad parenting #trauma #unhealthy #sad #depressed #sucidal #exhausted #tired #lonely #alone #empty #toxic mother #toxic father #upset #suicide thoughts #unhappy

[cleofem]

Women used to sell their engagement / wedding rings to escape abusive marriages. Learn from your foremothers. Never tell a man you have your own money. Financial freedom is the most important of all.

Having your own savings and source of income that can't be stolen from you gives you so many opportunities. Don't fall for their smooth words under the guise of 'fairness' and 'trust'. Protect yourselves and only trust yourself. For your safety and autonomy.

It can be the difference between being homeless and being safe. Spread the word.

#radical feminism #radfem #wgtow #female liberation #women's rights #personal finance #abusive relationship #feminism #it girl #high value woman #high value mindset

[hermesmyplatonicbeloved]

"Perc@beth is the gold standard and no-one is doing it like them."

EDIT: Perc@beth fans, this post is not for you. Keep scrolling. DNI.

Umm yea. I agree.

I haven't seen any other couple that's equally as unhealthy and abusive get so much praise and be treated as such a high goal and aspiration.

People will be saying this like the following events never happen:

Percy scared Annabeth to tears. She was crying and begging him. And they never :) talk :) about :) it. :)

Percy has been suicidal since he met Annabeth. In BoO he attempted suicide and Annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing and did nothing to help/support her boyfriend. In fact, she ignores him and only talks to Piper. (I'm not saying she shouldn't talk to Piper - she can that's fine - but she needs to talk to Percy. And she doesnt).

Annabeth judo flips Percy and that's treated as girl power and a normal thing. When Percy is an abuse survivor who once lived in fear of his step father beating him into unconsciousness.

Annabeth likes to keep Percy on his toes (her words) which makes Percy constantly anxious and nervous: he can never tell what she's thinking and he's scared of fucking up to the point that he feels like roadkill (his words).

The one time Percy brings up his abusive step father (possibly seeking comfort and support while they were in literal hell) Annabeth laughs it off as a joke. He never correct her assumption and shares the truth.

Annabeth is unapologetically rude to Percy's family (Sally and Paul being the exception). She outright says eww and gross while Tyson compliments her, and she's incredibly rude to him. She spends the entire first book constantly telling Percy that Poseidon is dirty and rotten and makes Percy second guess the gifts Poseidon gives him (there's always a price for gifts). And this is while Percy's mom Sally is dead and Percy is seeking his father for answers/help/support.

Percy constantly thinks Annabeth is going to hurt him when she looks mad/emotional (ttc - she looked like she wanted to judo flip me, botl - I thought she was going to punch me) and you'd think that's just Percy's unresolved trauma from his step father (who, remember, threatened to beat Percy into unconsciousness) but then she actually judo flips Percy in MoA, proving that it's not just irrational fear. It's the cycle of abusive relationships continuing.

Percy has shit self esteem, and doesn't think he's worthy of being Annabeth's boyfriend. The way cotg is written (from the bits I read) is that Percy comes off as the problem boyfriend that needs his girlfriend to constantly help/fix him. She does nothing (from what I've seen) to help Percy or direct Percy to someone who can help with this.

Annabeth pushes Percy to choose between her and his family (Sally, Paul and Estelle). Percy genuinely wants to stay back in Manhatten to be an older brother to Estelle but no. He already thinks he's unworthy, so he'd be horrible to say no to her, right? Not to mention:

Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or university. First page of cotg he's asking Poseidon to excuse him from school forever. He hasn't looked up any programs or fields he wants to go into. He doesn't have any idea of what career or field he wants to work in. His sole reason for going: Annabeth. That's unhealthy. It's not good to base all your happiness on one person; it's too much pressure on both of you. Plus, codependency is not romantic. It's unhealthy.

Not to mention the strongest point of all, and imo the only one that really matters:

Perc@beth is being treated as the gold standard for relationships, and that's teaching tens/hundreds of thousands of impressionable young teens that this behavior is not only acceptable but something to be aspired. They don't understand that it's unhealthy or abusive. They'll aim to be like this and 1. may start treating their partner like this or 2. May allow their partner to treat them like this. This toxic behavior has real world consequences. It's not just a book. It's influencing people irl.

#anti percabeth #percy jackson #pjo #hoo #annabeth chase #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #rick riordan #rrverse #nico di angelo #gabe ugliano #sally jackson #tyson #poseidon #abusive relationship #judo flip #trauma #pjo hoo #pjo hoo toa #percy #annabeth #anti percy/annabeth #anti percy jackson/annabeth chase #poll

[conscious-love]

All too often [people] believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm's way.

Bell Hooks, All About Love

#Bell Hooks #love #relationship #healthy love #healthy relationship #conscious love #conscious dating #dating #commitment #loyalty #abuse #abusive relationship #mistreatment #settling #settling for less #self respect #self love #relationship advice #dating advice #quotes #relationship quotes

[pix3lplays]

Hello I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I saw your post about possibly making a fic and I just wanted to say that I think that you're 'Reader was in a toxic relationship with Dan Feng' could be a really good story especially since you write the characters so well ☺️.

Not bothering me at all! And yeah I think you’re right, that was a really cool idea anon came up with…lemme see what I can do…and thank you!!!!

Sigh it’s not really coming out like a fic, more like more lil notes about the past relationship and such, but that works too right? Heh.

Tw! Toxic relationship content, abusive relationship content

-Reader is in a toxic relationship with Dan Feng, meets Dan Heng-

It was…bizarre. They really did look similar… Dan Feng and Dan Heng. Even down to the way their hand looked in yours. But Dan Heng was different from Dan Feng. When you first met him as Imbibitor Lunae, you had fallen to your knees in front of him, tears in your eyes, thinking you had finally reunited with your long lost lover. And instead of calling you ridiculous for sobbing, or belittling you for being such a sentimental fool…he just seemed a bit awkward instead, doing his best to explain that you had the wrong person and that Dan Feng was buried in both your pasts. You didn’t really know what to do, what to say. All you knew was this man looked just like your beloved Dan Feng, and you would follow him to the ends of the universe if that’s what it took.

-

You were used to Dan Feng getting angry at you, giving you cold looks, and raising his voice at you for every little thing you did wrong. Dan Heng wasn’t like that. When you were invited to join the Astral Express, he did little things that Reminded you of Dan Feng, but nothing like the bad memories of him…he just…valued his alone time, his personal space, he didn’t like touching people…very much like Dan Feng. It made you miss your past lover. Because Dan Heng wasn’t him. You could see that now. It wasn’t fair to compare the two of them. But sometimes, when he appears before you as Imbibitor Lunae, you like to imagine you’ve reunited with Dan Feng…no matter how poorly he treated you…you LOVED him. Dan Heng has blurry memories of you. A past lover, that Dan Feng didn’t treat well. And yet here you were, doing your best to refer to him as ‘Dan Heng’ instead of ‘Dan Feng’, fiercely loyal to him because you considered him your lover… He doesn’t think it’s fair, especially the more he gets to know you, just how unjustly Dan Feng treated you. He has nightmares where he sees himself yelling at you, you trembling in a corner with your hands over your face, almost as if you were expecting him to strike you. He feels the remorse and regret of Dan Feng, and yet the high elder doesn’t stop himself. Dan Heng wakes up in a cold sweat, gets up to check on you, his heightened senses letting him hear your labored breathing from the other side of your door. Must be having the same nightmare. He brings you some tea.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #dan heng #dan heng x reader #hsr dan heng x reader #Honkai star rail Dan Heng x reader #Dan Feng #Dan Feng x reader #hsr Dan Feng x reader #honkai star rail Dan Feng x reader #Toxic relationship #abusive relationship #tw toxic relationship #tw abusive relationship

[bonefall]

wait. wait wait wait. i had the blueprint of that argument with my ex FREQUENTLY and i was always (like nightcloud) under the impression that they had a point and i was being difficult. WAIT—

I lifted that whole blueprint from like 3 different abusive relationships I've seen, one of which I was the victim in. I was more of a Squilf though, unlike Nightcloud who would fight instead of fawn. Some of those lines were lifted nearly verbatim.

Something that catches you off guard after you're out is that it's not actually normal for your partner to be so relentless. They don't respond to being asked for something like you're attacking them. You start realizing that you're not actually that mean-- you were being goaded into fighting so they could say YOU'RE being unreasonable.

And so you think you deserve it, as they treat you like trash, over and over. Because you're sooo lucky they put up with you.

It's WILD though. When you find yourself in a situation where that doesn't happen. You get in your first couple's argument, TENSE UP AND PREPARE FOR THE BIG SUMMER BLOWOUT..... and then you talk it out like adults.

"Hey, you've been distant, please tell me what's wrong...?"

"Im sorry, I'm going through a lot and didn't tell you because I don't want to be a burden"

"We're dating, we're meant to share burdens, I was worried I did something wrong. In the future can you just tell me when you're going through it?"

"Ok. I'm sorry I worried you, I love u"

"Luv u 2"

ARGUMENT OVER. IT CAN BE THAT FUCKING SIMPLE.

Sometimes it goes a little longer and you mutually lay out some ways to meet each other's needs. But you don't feel fear or anxiety over the idea of asking, and most importantly, it ends.

Today's tizzy isn't next week's fight. These events aren't HELD over you. "Actually it's fine I did Y because you did X, and now we're even." Is Not Normal behavior.

And so help me god I'm going to inject it into the cats like Dr. Sloth injected muscle juice into a bunch of little orange grundos

#bone babble #Tw abuse #Abusive relationship

[reashot]

It's Okay To Abuse Jaune.

Jaune: I think I'm in an abusive relationship with Ruby...

Yang: What Makes you think that?

Ruby: Oh Jaune~ It's times for your daily dose of biting. 👄

Jaune: I'm Coming Ruby...

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #lancaster #lancaster rwby #jaune x ruby #ruby x jaune #rwby lancaster #draw your ocs #abusive relationship #wolf faunus ruby #yang xiao long

[neuroticboyfriend]

i think abuse victims should be allowed to retaliate against their abusers without being demonized, rejected, or locked up.

#softspoonie #abuse #abuse survivor #abuse victim #abusive relationship #abusive parents #abusive relationships #trauma #trauma survivor

[youcalledsworld]

DP x DC prompt

In order to gain peace between the Infinite Realms and the Six Kingdoms of Trigon a marriage between a champion of the realms and Trigons daughter was arranged.

Danny tried to get out of the marriage but sadly he was the only eligible champion. But after so much arguing and the ancients explaining why this marriage was needed he accepted his fate. He tried to get along with his future wife but she always looked at him with contempt and treated him as some kind of villain. It only got worse when they both found out that a child needed to be born within 3 years of their marriage. He tried bringing up cloning but that was never reliable. When that was ruled out his "wife" was even more hostile towards him and he was getting sick of it. Every time they interacted arguments would start and objects would be thrown. He hated married life and he hates his wife. He wanted out of this marriage but sadly all he could do was find reasons to stay away from his "home". He especially wanted to stay away from that child she birthed. The first and only time he was ever happy with this marriage was when he found out he didn't need to sleep with his "wife" anymore.

Raven hates her "husband", she also hates that she was trapped in this marriage. She never wanted to be married to some ghost and she never wanted to have his child. So many times she wished she could just leave him and the child she never wanted. But that would lead to war and her real home would be caught in the crossfire. And with the ghost away from "home" most of the time it fell on her to look after the child. She made sure it ate, it slept and changed its diaper but other than that she didn't do much for it. She understands that she wasn't the most approachable when this marriage was arranged her "husband" could at least help with the child but what did she expect. The ghost probably just wanted to sleep with her and this marriage was the only he could.

What happens nexts?

- Does something happen for them to see they are both victims in this marriage and they try to make it work or at least be friends?

- Or does this keep going and the child grows up to be a new big bad because he or she grew up in an abusive home?

#danny phantom #teen titans #dc comics #dpxdc #dpxdc prompt #danny phantom x raven #bad husband danny phantom #bad wife raven #bad parent danny phantom #bad parent raven #arranged marriage #abusive relationship #toxic marriage #toxic parents #does it get better or does it get worse? #danny is a champion of the infinite realms #danny is not the ghost king

[whatwedoinsilence]

Abuse comes in waves. So does pain.

You spent months being civil with each other, kind even. They do things for you, buy you clothes, groceries, say nice things and ask about your day. And you start to forget. You start to feel guilty. Why did I hate them? Why was I angry? Why did I want to leave? That was awfully mean of me. They need me. If I leave, they'll be all alone.

Then it all comes crashing down. One little thing lights up the flames and sparks a reaction. It happens fast, but feels like it lasts a lifetime. They say "things they didn't really mean", they "let anger get the best of them", and you're at the receiving end, scared, alone and not able to react.

And you start to remember. You place this memory with all the others, like a bunch of crystal ornaments on a shelf. You start noticing the patterns. You even make excuses for them. I was too loud, too aggressive, too mean. I deserved it. I deserve this.

Hours later, when you're safe and sound in your room, the reaction finally hits. You cry and sob, you want to scream but know you can't. You want to leave but have nowhere to go. You have no choice but to stay put and feel the pain. The pain from this moment and all the others that preceeded it. The pain from all the chances you had to leave but didn't take. The pain from all the instances you believed they changed.

And you know, once they wake up, it'll be like it never happened. Kind words and kind gestures, all over again. And you have no choice but to play along, otherwise who knows what might happen.

Every week. Every month. Every year. A new little crystal ornament for my collection. A new memory for me to obsess over and try to prove to myself that it wasn't that bad, that I barely got hurt, that it could've been worse.

I wonder how long it'll take for the next ornament to arrive. I wonder if I'll have enough space for it on the shelve.

#child abuse survivor #living with your abuser #abusive mother #abusive father #abusive parents #abusive relationship #verbal abuse #physical abuse #emotional abuse #narcissistic behavior #surviving narcissism #narcissist mother #narcissist parents #narc abuse

[kimchicuddles]

Rent went up so I'm scrambling to move again. Throwing me a dollar on patreon would really help!

Thank you so much for supporting my work 🥰  patreon.com/kimchicuddles

#being eaten #abusive relationship #survivor #confusing relationship #toxic relationship

[hellyeahscarleteen]

The Scarleteen Safety Plan

If you're in an abusive relationship, you are not safe. Like someone standing outside in a tornado, or someone inside a house that's on fire, you're in a dangerous and unsafe situation.

Just like you do your damndest to get out of a house that's on fire; just like you look for safe shelter away from the tornado? The only way to get safe, and make abuse stop when someone is doing it to us, is to get away from it as safely as possible and stay away. This is a guide on how to do that safely.

Not sure if your relationship or situation is abuse or abusive? Click here to find out more about abuse or assault. Want a check-in for healthy relationships? Take a look here. Not sure if you should stay or go? Check this one out.

#abuse #assault #relationships #resources #feminism #abusive relationship

[wastedchildhood]

apologies mean nothing to me. you’ll never change.

#ok to rb #ptsd #trauma #actuallytraumatized #vent #abuse #abuse survivor #mental illness #actually mentally ill #toxic ex #csa vent #abusive ex #abusive copycat #abusive relationship #abusive family