#i don't know and i don't want to know lmao

[bertoyana]

i'm so sorry i don't want to be the "the party ended 5 years ago and he's still here" person but dark phoenix's final scene is still SO funny to me. especially to see how erik plays charles like a fiddle

like: he shows up with NO helmet AND a chess set. (he did this last time in days of the future past, and it worked, right? so it should work again, right? right???)

so, he sits, completely uninvited mind you, and he tries (and fails terribly bless his heart) at starting a normal conversation, he asks charles about his retirement, probably trying to get charles to like, talk about it or whatever

(rip erik's hairline)

charles is not having any of it, which... valid. the last time he and erik had a full conversation, erik told him to shut the fuck up 

anyways, erik realizes his failed attempt at being casual did NOT work like he wanted, so he pulls out plan b - he calls charles his old friend (which, if you pay attention, in the prequels they use 'old friend' as a term to de-escalate the situation)

which WORKS, for some reason, and charles immediately deflates and gives erik the tiniest smile in existence, because erik showing he cares always seems to do it for charles lmao

(he's so embarrassing . god bless. @ x men: is this your leader)

anyhow, erik pulls out the second part of his plan b - he asks charles if he wants to play a game. still playing casual. just two buddies. just two guys. some guys. just some friends having a toootal normal n casual conversation.

and you can immediately see charles close himself up, he crosses his arms and avoids looking erik in the eye. erik managed to soften him up with the 'old friend' and having his helmet off, but it's not enough YET so erik pulls out his plan c. luckily his last one, christ, charles really does like to keep them waiting doesn't he

keep an eye on erik's entire demeanor in this scene, his position is not closed off like charles', he's open, he leans on the table, and maintains eye contact with charles. his head is tilted to one side and everything, completely harmless

i'm so obsessed with charles' microexpressions here james mcavoy you are so insane

anwyays, charles uncrosses his arms and his position does come off a little more open, but if you watch the scene you can see him shake his head. this obviously touches him - but he's probably intending to say still no. probably because he has the biggest martyr complex i've ever seen in a fictional character 

so, erik pulls up his fucking plan d (lol) and hopefully this time IT WILL be the last. he pulls the pawn out of his jacket pocket.

(why the fuck is this played like a fucking romantic scene i'm so serious, why is he smiling to himself like that)

mind you, erik had the pawn in his pocket the entire time, which could mean either of two things:

charles looks surprised/confused the entire scene, but in THIS part he doesn't look confused, he just looks like he's still trying to figure out what erik is trying to do. so it either means erik makes charles play this 'guess where it's hiding' game all the time (????) which doesn't really sound likely for him to do, but erik is always begging charles to get into his head so it wouldn't surprise me if he actually did this every time. god knows he's desperate enough or

erik was expecting charles to reject his offer right away, and had multiple other plans shoved up his ass if this was the case. this also seems likely, he's obsessive enough to have thought multiple ways through. 

anyways, he puts his two fists up and pulls up the most mortal sentence in existence. one he knows charles won't be able to deny him

"just ONE game 🥺 for old time's sake???? 🥺🥺🥺" man stfu you are 62 years old GET UPPPP 

anyways - pay attention to his wording. 

"just one game" because erik came ALLLL this way for charles, so charles might as well play ONE game with him, and then erik could be gone - if charles wanted it that way. 

"for old's time sake" when things were easier and when they were more at peace - when they were on each other's side. when they were together and the mansion, just after charles had saved him and gave him a hom- oh wait 

(also, there's 100% a hidden meaning here. and there’s also a 100% chance i’m reaching but idc. the pawn could be in his left hand or his right. the possibility is 50/50. the only way charles could know with 100% certainty was if he entered erik's mind - if he took up erik's offer. but he could also not get into erik's mind and just... guess and fail - by thus, not taking erik's offer. erik is giving him an out, a choice to make the first move)

(and the chess piece he offers charles a WHITE pawn. the white pieces are the first ones to move. 

also also if you have paid attention to the previous movies, erik is always the one to use the white pieces, this is the first movie where we see charles play with white)

anyways, charles does struggle a bit with the choice, but ultimately he decides to accept erik's proposal and """guesses""" right.  

and going from erik's... entire face and smirk lmao i'm guessing charles went into his head to get it right. mind you, this is like sex for them

charles accepts - erik is very relieved to know he's not the only one who's down horrendously. and after the worst guessing game in history (seriously, the pawn was in erik's right pocket and then he had it hidden in his right hand... man i guessed that shit and i'm not even a telepath) they start rearranging the board

so anyway, erik gives charles this look like he wants to climb him like a tree, which means that playing edward 'down embarrassingly bad' rochester in jane eyre (2011) finally fucking paid off

erik doesn't even blink mind you, and charles doesn't take his eyes off erik either way, which means they are just STARING at each other without blinking for god knows how long LMAOOO 😭😭😭

once everything is said and done, erik makes a silly little joke and charles rebuts. then erik gives him the biggest smile i've ever seen him give to someone since magda, and then he follows it up with a smaller, softer smile with no teeth

seeing this for the first time in the theater was like getting shot in the chest, no joke

mind you erik stopped trying like three minutes ago but for some reason, the first time we finally see charles soften up in the ENTIRE movie is after he sees erik smiling at him. which could mean nothing.

and the thing is: charles does have a big heart, and he means well, most of the time, but he also doesn’t necessarily has… the best way of showing it with his actions lol. erik knows this, and he knows charles has a thing for lost causes, for people the society has given up on. charles threw himself into the freezing water to save erik - even when he didn't KNOW him. 

AND he also knows charles has the biggest soft spot for him, he KNOWS - because all those years ago, charles' biggest accussation wasn't "you paralyzed me" it was "you left me". because after erik lost his wife and daughter, charles rushed to find him, to make sure he was okay. because nine years ago, charles looked at apocalypse and said "fuck you you are twisting erik's grief, and you are hurting him" to A GOD BTW. TO HIS FUCKING FACE NO FUCKS GIVEN AT ALL

tldr: call erik the fucking violinist because boy he sure knows how to play charles like a fucking instrument and how to press all the right keys to get him to say yes to him. he gave charles an out if he didn't want to come with him, but he also came PREPARED for it, mind you, he came PREPARED to take charles with him to genosha. he didn't get to take charles with him 30 years ago, and he was going to be dammed if he didn't take charles with him NOW (this time with no bullet wound and no helmet lol)

and the most insane thing to me is, that he knows charles has a soft spot for him, he's known this for 30 years, and yet, the only time he uses it in his favor is to get charles to say yes to him on this. the only time he uses it is when he thinks he can do something to help charles - to give him back all the kindness charles gave to him 30 years ago. 

anways i'm insane. i'll be back here eating glass if you need me. i'm so normal about them. simon kinberg broke something in me 5 years ago

#i'm so sorry about the bible and the terrible english only one of those is my fault #cherik #xmen #erik lehnsherr #charles xavier #long post #otp: i want you by my side

[felixitate]

can't resist | lyb (m.)

pairing ⇢ felix x reader

summary ⇢ felix really only entered the bathroom to retrieve his camera but you're even more tempting than he anticipated.

rating & word count ⇢ 2.3k | 18+ (minors gtfo)

genre/au ⇢ smut, fluff, idk what they are 🤭

warnings/content ⇢ teasing, cursing, petnames, groping, hair pulling, breast play, unprotected sex, creampie, mirror shenanigans, the camera and the rings are involved ig

theme song ⇢ the boy is mine - ariana grande

a/n: yeah the title speaks for itself on what i’m still going through rn lmao you see his hold on me? it's fucking insane like how dare he fr i have not recovered from those ig stories fawk and i don't think i'll ever be

“take photos with me?”

you ask Felix fondly when he is about to open the door. it made him pause a bit, weighing how much time he had since you could take a while with this.

he’s not really in a hurry since the others are still getting their makeup done. good thing that he luckily went first so he’s got time to look for his special camera that he possibly misplaced earlier.

the other boys said no when Felix asked if they'd seen it but he's sure he left it somewhere so that only leaves you. he knew that you’d stay in the spare room to get ready and avoid suspicion from other gala goers so he wasn’t that surprised where he found it.

he entered the bathroom where he found you standing in front of the vanity while taking selfies from your phone. then you’re scrolling to look through the selcas you took so he kinda expected that you’d use his camera already but you haven't.

that's one of the reasons why you take the longest in the bathroom anyway, having the habit of taking pictures when the lighting's to your liking.

so why haven't you?

maybe you want him to take pictures of you instead which he'd happily do. smiling brightly at you, Felix nods as he closes the door. he really can't say no to you and he never has unless he had to. how could he even right now when your eyes sparkle at him like that?

there would be a final fitting later but he couldn’t resist your request.

.

a smile graces your lips when you see Felix approaching your form, standing behind you so you start taking pics of you both. your ivory-coloured bathrobe contrasts his so it’s a perfect combination. well, couple trends are usually matching but you like it this way. he matches your poses the way you instructed.

you feel Felix's right hand on your hip, holding you like he's done many times before. his other hand's still holding the camera that you've been focusing your attention on. you wanted to use it earlier but it would be better with Felix so you decided not to.

bringing your attention back to him, it's then you notice through the mirror how his eyes have been lingering around your sternum.

"lix?"

"hmm?" he answers, his gold-ringed hand absentmindedly squeezing your hip. you smile at how cute he is.

"look at the camera baby" a small chuckle leaves you when get flustered at being caught ogling you.

right the camera. what the hell is he thinking? you took a picture from your phone and Felix leaned in for a final pose. he thought that was it but you suddenly took his camera from his hand, placing it on the glass table beside the sink.

“we haven’t taken photos on your camera yet” you drawl, eyes looking so fascinated while looking at the camera.

“oh yeah, do you want it now?”

his hand reaches for the camera but you stop him, taking his hand instead in yours so he ends up putting his arm around you while you snap another picture.

you lean back and nuzzle Felix, allowing you to feel more of his body against yours. he freezes momentarily and the small gasp that escaped from him didn't miss your ears so you leaned back further, your ass brushing against something hard.

oh.

your plan’s been doing well it seems.

"y/n, fuck, don’t do this to me please"

he knows what you're on now, his breath increasing the more you grind back on him like you didn't hear what he just said.

"hmm?" you faux your concern, making it look like you're just trying to find a good position while still clutching your phone but of course, Felix knows better.

"not right now baby" he pleads again as his body betrays him. it didn't help that your bathrobe seems to be loosening more now too, allowing him to look at your perky nipples that are peeking from it.

you place your phone by the mirror while Felix's distracted by the sight of your boobs. you pondered if you wanna record or not but relented, sparing him with your cheeky antics this time.

pulling down his veiny hand that you're still holding, you cup your left breast with it and he squeezes out of instinct, causing you to moan shamelessly in return.

his other hand travels from your hip upwards after, pulling the robe sideways, revealing your other breast to his hungry eyes. you watch him lean in to kiss your neck from the mirror's reflection then remember that he’s got makeup on.

“lix your makeup..”

his lips were almost touching the skin when your reminder stopped him. he curses internally out of frustration because you're right. there might not be enough time later to redo his makeup so he really gotta be mindful of it.

you felt Felix straighten up, shaking his head a bit to focus. you were about to tease him but both his ringed hands are now on your bare tits, kneading and squeezing knowing how much you like the sensation of those cold rings against your warm skin.

"wish i could fuck you baby" he whispers needily, voice going deeper than it already is as he grinds his dick more against your covered ass.

"what's stopping you?" you whine, clearly so stimulated with all the stimulation from his touches and the sound of his voice.

well, nothing really is so Felix obliges and turns you around to face him. his beauty knocks your breath once again, his blonde hair in a new braid complimenting a lot with the structure of his ethereal face.

"you're so pretty you know.."

a shy smile breaks out on Felix's face at your remark, more so when your hand reaches out to tuck a few strands of his hair by his ear. you scan his face until you catch his eyes, immediately seeing the lust swimming in them with his pupils already dilating.

you prop your body by the sink and shrug off your bathrobe, causing Felix's eyes to widen as he scans your naked body.

“you’re much prettier love”

he wants to kiss you so bad, shower every part of your body with his lips but he can't. he's thinking if he should just face any scolding later since you can probably help him in the department.

you smile warmly at Felix, heart fluttering at his words but you've noticed how much he’s been holding back so you begin caressing his bare chest to return his attention to you.

teasing him crosses your mind cause you love seeing him flustered, looking so cute with the pink dusting over those lovely freckles that you cherish.

"should i mark you here lixie?" you start and the look on his face changes, a slight panic emerging in his eyes at your suggestion.

the gala’s an important event for him and his friends and even if you happen to leave a mark somewhere where it’s covered under his fit later, he can’t risk other people seeing it by accident and possibly getting the both of you in trouble.

“kidding baby” you left a tender kiss on his soft skin to ease him, reeling at his deep sigh of relief from it.

you can’t possibly do that to Felix no matter how much you want to. besides, you’d have more time after anyway so you’ll just make sure to make him feel better right now to make up for all the teasing that you've put him through.

your hands continue to roam around his toned chest, fingers brushing his nipples but you instead play with the pendant of his necklace. he hums deeply, pushing his body closer to yours so you won’t forget how hard he’s been.

poor baby.

he sighs in relief once you finally untie his navy blue bathrobe, the rest of his body naked body now exposed to your eyes. you know he's been dying to fuck you so your hands continue their journey from his chest down to his abs until they reach his swollen dick.

it’s leaking so much already and you want him in your mouth but you don’t have much time.

“help me love? it’s your fault anyways” he chuckles deeply but the laughter leaves him once you grabbed his swollen cock, pumping it at once to spread his precum around.

“of course baby, i’d love to” you pepper Felix’s bare chest with light kisses, basking on his deep moans that are increasing in volume the faster you stroke his cock.

his hands hurriedly untie your bathrobe, parting your legs so he can finally fuck you. he's so close already and hasn't pleasured you much yet, something that he hates each time you have sex because of his lack of self-control.

after Felix tests your pussy with his thick finger, he positions his cock at your entrance and pushes in right away.

soft moans emit from you both once he fills you to the brim. you love the stretch of being full from Felix but you also know how it affects him a lot, his eyes shutting at how wet and warm you feel around him.

he didn't mean to roll his hips before making sure that you've adjusted to his cock but he just couldn't stop. you didn't stop him either, closing your legs around his waist, your hand holding onto his arms for balance.

"b-baby, i won't last long" he breathes out, struggling to contain himself as he continues to fuck you. he opens his eyes and now they’re fixed on your face, looking so tranced as he leans in again.

but before he gave in to kissing you, your hand was quick to pull his long hair.

"no baby.." you gasp out as you do which Felix responds to with a deep whine. he's already so immersed in fucking you, ringed hands gripping your waist so hard that you're not gonna be surprised if you find any bruises there later.

he groans in protest and you tut, though a sharp thrust coaxes a choked moan from you when Felix finds that soft spot and focuses his aim there. 

“don’t wanna..ruin..your makeup..” it's light really, too subtle that you doubt anyone would even notice if it’s smudged but you don't want the both of you to get scolded later.

you're still in your right mind to stay grounded but your brain's getting cloudier when Felix continues to hit it once your back starts arching.

"fuck i hate this" he groans in frustration that he can't even kiss you. at least he'd been doing a great job so far, you look so pretty moaning his name with your hands clawing at his arms because the pleasure's becoming too much.

but Felix knows that you're also determined to not keep him here any longer.

“later hmm? want you to cum right now okay?” he shakes his head so cutely, doe eyes staring at you that your resolve almost broke.

“you first” he whines and fastens his pace, focusing on getting himself together to make sure you cum before him. you're a lot better than him when it comes to self-control but he's trying, he's been trying so hard even with your constant clenching around his cock.

his hand leaves your back to rub your clit and it took a few circles before you unravel before him. he follows your suit not long after, filling you with so much cum. your legs pull his body closer and you hug him as you both ride out your high.

smiling against Felix's bare chest, your hands are nonstop caressing his body and he honestly finds it cute. he’s smiling down at you as he runs his hand through your back to calm you down.

after a few seconds, he grabs the wet wipes from the glass table to wipe his hand before taking his special camera to take a picture of you both. your naked body against his looks amazing from this angle, even more so when you turned back to the mirror with a sly grin while laying your head against his chest.

you're both still breathless when someone's suddenly banging against the door, breaking the silence between your and Felix's exchanged breaths.

he pulls out of you quickly, causing you to whine at the lost feeling. but you didn’t get to process much when he quickly handed you a few wet wipes so you could clean up and face whoever was behind the door.

"open the door you two" the voice belonging to Chan echoes and it's strangely calm so you and Felix exchange a panicked look before hastily putting your bathrobes back on.

the door opens and a very stressed-looking Chan is looking at you both in defeat. he’s dressed already so you even feel worse for keeping Felix too long.

“come on, let's redo his makeup”

he breaks the silence when no one's saying a word. he does kinda sound stressed but you've done your best to not smudge anything on Felix's face so everything should be fine.

"no need oppa, look at him, still so flawless” you confidently smile at him and Felix just shies away both from your lovely compliment and embarrassment at Chan scrutinizing him.

the latter looks skeptical until he surveys Felix’s face before sighing in relief to find that his little brother's face looks untouched, with Felix just looking like he’s sweating normally so he didn't have to explain anything to the makeup artist.

your fingers are tracing Felix's embroidered name on his bathrobe when Chan shifts his eyes on you. he gives you a pointed look and now Felix is the one smiling in mischief.

"we’ll see you later princess"

e/n: this turned softer than i intended oml i just love him sm. i might also do another fic based on this met look of his, something of him being a fairie prince + the theme of the gala since the whole thing pissed me off sm lmao

#felix x reader #stray kids x reader #felix smut #stray kids smut #skz x reader #skz smut #stray kids #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz hard thoughts #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fluff #skz hard hours #stray kids scenarios #skz fluff #felix fluff #skz felix #lee felix #felix imagines #skz scenarios #skz #lee yongbok #felix lee #yongbok #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop scenarios #stray kids felix

[mochinomnoms]

Imagine if Azul had also the ability to read minds from Yuu for like, 1 hour or so. And he just gets decimated and traumatized by the amount of 5 star porn Jade makes in his head about Yuu lmao.

“I told you to stay away from him.”

You looked down at Azul, who was curled into a ball under the desk with his scarf wrapped around his head and hands yanking down his fedora as far down has he could.

“I told you Azul, 'stay away from Jade when he's hanging around me' cause he gets weird—”

“WEIRD? YOU'RE CALLING THAT WEIRD?” Azul shrieked. It was a good thing that it was just him in the guest room today, you don't think he could handle the embarrassment if someone saw him like this.

“Well YEAH! I don't know, what do you want me to say!?” You raised your voice, huffing back as Azul got back up, wiping the dirt and dust from his clothes.

“I don't know, how about 'Jade has very lewd thoughts whenever I'm around and it's like getting violated every single time you read his mind, stay clear!' Is that hard?!”

You scoffed, cheeks going warm as you defended yourself. “I figured you'd be aware! I thought you said he wouldn't shut up during summer break?”

“He didn't exact divulge more than possible plans to court you. Ones that he's failed miserably to execute, mind you.” Azul sighed, rubbing his temples. “Neptune, how do you stand it?”

“You know how I always try and make sure to have someone else with me when I talk to him?”

Azul nodded. “Yes, I wondered about that. Jade insists that you are just shy, I tell him he's delusional.”

“Yeah, it still doesn't help.”

Azul made a small 'oh' sound at that, the two of you staring at each other and remaining silent.

“…Do you want your telepathy back? I don't think I want to deal with it any longer.”

You hummed and shrugged.

“Maybe later? I want some time without it. Maybe try mind reading Jamil? Bet he'll freak out.”

“…That would be hysterical. Sure let's go.”

#mochi asks #twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #azul ashengrotto #ptm

[enhastolemyheart]

SATURDAY BLESSING | s.jy

pairing. boyfriend!jake x reader

genre. est. relationship, fluff

synopsis. being in a long distance relationship is hard. But, all works out in the end knowing your boyfriend Jake will come right back to you.

warning(s). kissing, jake and yn being cute, none really lmao, not proofread

word count. 0.8k

networks. @.hyfenet @k-films @kflixnet

note. hey!! it'd been a while lmao i forgot how to do this format thing 😭😭😭 but nonetheless, i had this sweet idea and hope you guys enjoy!!

banner by @cafekitsune

As you take your regular Saturday stroll through your favorite park nearby your complex, enjoying the fresh air and the calming ambiance. Birds are chirping, the are children running around, people's dogs are chasing squirrels and frisbees, there are the daily fitness people chasing their 10k steps and of course, you cannot miss the lovely elderly couples on their romantic walks.

Growing up in this area for the last thirteen years, this park has been a second home to you. You knew almost everyone here. You watched this park at its highest and lowest. You loved coming here, anytime and any day. One thing that has only enhanced your love for this place is the amount of time you spent here with your boyfriend of 2 years, Jake sim.

You both spend everyday together, but that has come to a temporary end when you both had to long distance. Jake to move to another state to take care of his sick grandmother. He stayed there longer then he'd expected but you knew and had faith that the relationship between you both would only get stronger once you reunite.

As you turn around the corner of the trail, you stop dead in your tracks tracks when a handsome man steps in front of you. Your handsome man. It's your boyfriend Jake, who you hadn't seen in eight months. Your eyes widen and your feet are stuck in place, your breath hitches and tightens. You can feel tears welling in your eyes at the sight of him.

He is so handsome, his hair has grown alot, looking like a mini mullet which looks so good on him. His eyes are just as bright as you seen him last and that adoring smile not wavering for a second. He opens his arms to you, lips in a smirk, "did you miss me, baby?"

His voice. I think my heart just skipped a beat.

That angelic voice was the final recall that he was here, he was finally here in your sight. You run up to him and he wraps his strong arms around your frame, melting in his embrace and basking in his scent. he release a sigh, almost as a sign of content and relief.

He pulls away, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, lips in a soft smile, "I miss you so much, honey, you have no idea"

"i missed you too Jake, so much,"

And that was it, until he pulls you in for a much needed kiss, his lips in a smile causes yours to smile as well. He holds you very close to him in a gentle but firm grip, not wanting to let go. And you don't want him to, hands on the back of his neck, playing with the grown hair there.

He pulls away, looking into your eyes with full of love, "I love you yn."

you smile ad you kiss his cheek, "And I love you."

As the afternoon turns into evening and the sun slowly sets, You and Jake sit down at one of your favorite spots in the park. You are against a tree, your back warmed up with his chest, arms enveloped around you like a blanket, watching the leaves rustle in the breeze and listening to the birds chirping.

We spend an hour or two just talking, catching up on everything that's happened in the past few months. He tells me that his grandmother is doing much better now and that they hired a woman to take care when his parents cannot. I tell him about my internship at work, it was for the journaling field of a reputed magazine company. We laugh, we tease, and we just enjoy each other's company.

He kisses your temple every so often, and realization dawns upon you that you missed this. You missed this feeling of doing nothing but everything at the same time. You missed his warm hold and his silly, cute laugh, you missed him.

Jake places a kiss on the top of your head before asking you to turn to him, a smile playing on his lips.

"Remember when we first met?" he asks, his eyes twinkling with nostalgia.

You nod, a smile forming on your own lips and you lean the side your face on his shoulder.

"Of course I do," You reply, giggling slightly. "Who could forget meeting the boy of their dreams in a park on a Saturday afternoon?"

Jake laughs, and you share a look of shared understanding. Your time apart may have been long, but our bond feels stronger than ever.

"I love you baby, till death do us apart." Jake says with sincerity.

you smile only widens till your cheeks are hurting, you placed a gently, shaking hand on his cheek and your foreheads meet.

"I love you Jake, till death do us apart."

perm taglist: @jak-ey ; @snoowhore ; @hsgwrld ; @seungiesluv ; @1-800shutthefuckup ; @heeseungshim (send an ask to be added)

#enhastolemyheart #abby writes! #k films #kflixnet #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen #enhypen imagines #jake sim #jake sim fanfic #jake sim x reader #sim jaeyun #jake sim fluff #jake sim imagines #jake sim scenarios #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jaeyun x you #jake sim x you

[tarot-bimbo]

PICK A PILE♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

What does your future spouse look like?

1. 2. 3.

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Pile 1

Okay so pile one I am seeing someone who works out he or she is most definitely strong they could pick you up. I am seeing like 5'11 he could be that height or shorter I am hearing short king 👑 this person is definitely not so tall they could even be shorter than you actually. But you like that obviously, this person is gonna be your Husband most definitely gonna try to put a ring on your finger REALLY fast. You got lots of wands and swords so I am taking that as he definitely is not gonna disappoint you in bed and if this is a girl then she definitely has a wap lmao one of you may get shy a lot. There could be an age gap I am seeing short hair maybe black or white curly. He could be Italian or from Germany? He could like the beach a lot when you do get with this person he is most definitely gonna take you to his favorite place on the beach. He could also live by water or you two will meet by water. He's rich like not Beyonce rich but he doesn't have to work ya know? He's I can see he has chest hair and if you are a man reading this she definitely has really bug breast or really small. If you are a man reading this I think you definitely have a thing for milfs or they flock towards you and if you are a woman a lot of older men throw themselves on you or that's just what you prefer. They definitely have a big house. Possibly does gymnastics. They could also wear a lot of red or layered clothing. For men I am seeing a girl who mostly wears long dresses and for the woman I am seeing a man in formal get up honestly or like really layered clothing like the aesthetic boys you may see on Pinterest with the baggy layered cloths and stuff. Whoever they are they can dress. They like to cover up a lot tho maybe a cancer I thought of a crab going in their shell suddenly. They definitely also have a high role in their workspace and could even own their own business. Big bosses are what they call themselves 🤣. They have a very heavy accent probably not from the same place you are. Probably an earth sign. I rolled my zodiac dice and you got Aries,Virgo and Gemini.

( I hope this pile resonates with you. I love you☄️)

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Pile 2

Okay so pile twooo Already I am getting your person is loud and their personality. They keep you guessing. They definitely party,like the party doesn't start until they arrive. Your person is definitely clumsy I almost mixed two tarot decks😵‍💫. Definitely day dreams a lot they are very care free they might see the world as one day it's gonna end why not ruin it first? Okay so this person talks a LOT like never a dull moment with them tho. They could travel a lot honestly I ain't getting a lot on look but like green eyes dark hair and eyes, you may think their eyes are very intense and intimidating. They like wearing a lot of hats tho they could possibly be 25 and up. He works he's not rich or anything but he can most definitely spoil you. They definitely like touching you in public and being in nature. They are a lot to even handle not gonna lie but they are also very closed off. They don't want to tell me too much they like surprises and they know you probably hate waiting and stuff. I am also seeing dark red hair like cherry red. He's talking about how he dyed his own hair and has to mix multiple colors. I think you or them might like both genders. Heavy on loving animals might even be an Instagram influencer. I am seeing you two are closer than you think 🤔 my phone buzzed as confirmation on that. They will always be on the phone with you texting FaceTime regular calls it doesn't matter as long as you two are talking. I rolled my astrology dice to see what zodiac sign you would get and I got Aquarius,Libra and Scorpio so these could be in their birth chart.

( I hope this pile resonates with you. I love you☄️)

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Pile 3

Okay so right off back he may look like that dude from Ghostbusters Dan Aykroyd but when he was in his prime. They are on the thicker side and honestly they just might work a lot then go home and do nothing 😅 I am seeing you are the one to spice up there life might even be a chef. He has longer hair definitely not black but not honey blonde more so like a dirty blonde or like a golden brown. He likes to garden and build things. They are the type of you say that your car was messed up could fix it even if they are a woman this could shock the shit out of you. They could look like total dork glasses and everything. Favorite movie could be revenge of the nerds. I am getting a lot of older references and shit oop they definitely have a potty mouth 🫢. But I think both of you are older than most ( please don't take that the wrong way 💖) or just really have a thing for old stuff. They definitely live in the city but when they get with you I see you two might move in a place with more land and green fields I heard like Oregon but I have no idea what that place looks like 😅. I used my astrology dice to find out potential zodiac signs. Aquarius, Libra, Capricorn. You got two of the same zodiacs from pile 2 might wanna rest that too or not 🤪.

( I hope this pile resonates with you. I love you☄️)

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(if you are looking for a private reading please let me know mwah(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠))

I hope you enjoyed this pick a pile♡

#tarot cards #tarot reading #tarot #love reading #general reading #twin souls #twinsoulflame #soulmates #couple #tarot pick a pile #tarot pick a card #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot blog #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #tarot tumblr

[obeymematches]

MC acting oblivious!

since you're accepting hcs now, how about an mc whos a big tease/bully (aka mammons worst nightmare lol)? im quick to realize when someone has a crush on me and when i like them back i turn into the biggest tease on earth until the other person confesses. im good at acting oblivious so its always "wait, they cant possibly know i like them, right??" poor, poor souls lmao. so im wondering how the brothers+undateables would handle an mc like that! keep up the great work! 💕

Hi, good to see you again !!! <3 

okay i love this so much lets go ! 

Lucifer: 

Okay so in his case it’s mentioned several times that he is in love with the MC so this ain’t just some crush he’s being teased about but that’s one of the reasons why he loves you so much.  

He is rather guarded emotianlly as his pride isn’t going to let him just fall for anyone. But once he does he is not going to deny it!  

Lucifer is someone who will ask you out on a date without a warning. The only thing you might notice beforehead is that he spends suspiciously lots of his time with you. (by a lot in his case I mean something in between 30 and 60 mins every second day. he’s a busy man) 

Him: My schedule is tight today but I would like to spend time with you, MC, would you care to join me at a confectionary?  MC: sounds like you’re very busy, are you sure about that? 🥺 Him,  slightly offended but still lovingly: Yes, MC. Let me express myself better... would you please have a date with me today? MC: oh....um-

Mammon:

● oh god, oh jesus, oh no

● We all know The Great Mammon has a hard time admitting his feelings out loud, with words, bluntly.

● So the way I see it, the situation is about to be Awkward As Hell.

● Mammon is clearly sweating, butterflies occupying his entire stomach, he fiddles with his nails.

● Him: So MC, I was thinking- I mean I'm thinking- wanna go skating with me tonight?

MC: Oh that's a very romantic idea- but I think friends don't just go skating, you know.

Him: Friends??! I don't wanna be just your friend MC-

You: Then? Then what?

Him: Goddamn I- I just want to be yours- Jesus ya are makin' it so difficult MC, it is not easy as is!!

Leviathan:

● ahh the frustrated face he makes through this conversation isn't just a facade. He really is stressing right now.

● Him: MC.... there is something I must tell you. And you only. Please listen and don't tell anyone!

MC: Don't worry Levi, I too hate people who gossip-

Him: No it's not like that. I have a desire in my heart that I must share with you as you are the most special person I ever met and I can only hope you feel the same way for me and- I feel so embarassed but I've been meaning to ask you this- would you be my partner? My player 2?

MC: well if you wanted me to play you could have just said so like you always do-

Levi: What?? Is that what you understood? No MC you don't get it! Ahhh I knew I shouldn't have asked you my chances with you are close to zero-

MC: Wait Levi I'm so sorry-

Satan:

● You could tell he was acting different these past couple of days. He was texting you more, he offered to spend more time with you- it was obvious he likes you.

● He knocked on your bedroom door and as you liked him just as much as he liked you, of course you let him in.

● I think you acting like you don't know what's going on turns him on? Like he know you ain't stupid. He knows you like him at least a little bit too, otherwise he wouldn't be here talking with you.

● Him: So MC, are you free now?

MC: Well, it depends on how you define "free" I think.

Him: Oh quit it please.

MC: I would if I knew what you were up to right now-

Him: Alright. You are going to make it more complicated, I see. In this case, meet me at 4PM at the common room. Please. I'd like to take you on a date if you're free.

MC: Inside the house? Weird if you ask me-

Him: ...... you are right actually. Let's meet at the park then. Don't be late.

Asmo:

● Again he would absolutely love you acting like you noticed nothing when he couldn't be more clear about what he wants.

● He knows this game though & he is quicker than you are.

● Him, cuddling you: So MC I have been thinking about us....what are we?

● MC: We are.... the best. Me, a human, and you, a demon.

Him: Nooooo, you know that's not what I meant!!!

MC: Well I don't know what you mean Asmo. Aren't we though?

Him: Aren't we what? A human and a demon?? Ahhhhg stop playing with me MC!

Beelzebub:

● Ohh babe is going to believe you actually don't know what' going on-

● I think he'd find it funny when he realizes you were just acting like such-

Him: MC. I like you.

MC: Okay, I like you too. That's why I'm your friend.

Him: Yes we are friends I know... but to me you are the first person I want to talk to if anything happens, good or bad... you are on my mind all the time, no matter what- I haven't felt like this in my entire life- you are the most special person to me, MC.

MC: Ohhh... I didn't realize-

Him: I only went out with Mammon yesterday because I thought... I was hoping you'd be there to, that you'd join... I just wanted to spend more time with you. But you weren't there. Let's go somewhere together today- I mean, if you want to-

Belphegor:

● MC you are about to annoy him to deatg to be fair.

● Depending on his mood he might join you though!!!

Him: So human- I mean MC. Let's hang out today.

MC: We already do.

Him: I meant as a date, stop playing stupid.

MC: I don't like being called stupid. Is this how you are asking me out on a date??

Him: See I knew you knew what I meant!

MC: Why would you ask me on a date though, aren't we just friends?

Him: .....

Him: We could change that- I want to be your one and only.

MC: Well if you are my one and only friend I might get lonely when you're too busy for me though-

Him: Stop it don't say another word. Are you coming today or not? MC? You listening?

MC: you just asked me to shut up-

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #swd obey me #obey me! #obey me swd #obey me luci #obey me lucifer #obey me luci x reader #obey me luci x mc #obey me x you #obey me x reader #obey me satan x mc #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo x reader #obey me asmo x mc #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me levi #obey me x mc #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x y/n #omswd

[aaronsinferno]

'buck and tommy only had a one episode build up' no if they had a one episode build up that would be fine, tk and carlos were fucking within like an hour of meeting and i have no issue with that because they have an actually palpable instant attraction and connection rather than being thrown together randomly for shock value, their relationship actually developed really well after that, they're both very well developed characters, neither of them is significantly more invested in the relationship and their makeout scenes don't look like somebody frenching their dad lmao.

Regardless, the attraction between the two is real. They’re in a non speculative and canonically proven romantic relationship that’s been said to be healthy and will come off as a romcom. Just wanted to get that out of the way before I got into anything.

Evan and Tommy weren’t a slow burn. They didn’t see each other across a room and go “I’m gonna take you home later” or anything similar to that. It was just one guy unaware of his attraction towards another until the other guy in question made the first move. (Which was bold asf btw)

There’s no one way to jumpstart a relationship. Sometimes it’s taking a leap of faith and acknowledging your feelings in whatever way you can.

The kiss was always going to be shocking hence the uproar of homophobic outrage afterwards. If Evan, for whatever reason, kissed who you wanted him to kiss then I’m positively sure you’d still be pretty surprised that the kiss actually happened. A scenario that will live and die on the internet btw.

And you’re right to imply that Tommy isn’t a fully developed character. There’s still so much we don’t know about him. I’m assuming that if the writers want him around more, then not only will they build onto his character and background, but they’ll also build on his and Evan’s relationship.

I’m assuming the dad thing is you making fun of Lou’s age. I don’t have a problem with it. Unfortunately for you, though, neither does Evan. We’ve seen papa Buckley before, and I hate to say it, but Tommy doesn’t give that at all.

And I love Tk and Carlos, but using characters who have been sure and open about their sexuality since before their series began as a “gotcha” moment for Evan and Tommy is a bit odd. They know what they want and have experience identifying partners and forming relationships. Evan just came to realize that he’s bisexual. It’s new to him so it’s understandable if he’s not making moves like TK.

It’s a show. Let things fall into place. The story is still being told. Exhale.

#if it sounds like I’m rambling it’s because I am #bucktommy #evan buck buckely #evan buckley #tommy kinard #tevan #kinkley #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr #911 abc #911 season 7 #911edit

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

TWST Cast Mid-Effort Snacks They Make

Listen I'm no wizard in the kitchen but I think I can make some half decent snacks. That being said, this post is long, does not have accurate measurements for half of it, bc why the hell would I actually write stuff down I Totally Don't Forget Things All The Time.

Also like. mid-effort snacks. You know, you're not just Opening a bag of chips but you are going to need. At least a microwave. (also, using minimal dishes possible nobody wants to clean up). This is all stuff I've made or at least eaten, myself, lmk if you try it or if I missed a vital detail LMAO

ANYWAYS if this post is popular enough I'll share some like. Actual recipes as well, the Culinary Crucible thingy finally came in and I feel INSPIRED, some of these have little uhh like 'justification' or story behind them some don't bc I feel like it's obvious. GTAT refers to the section at the end, I got tired of writing it out over and over again sldkjhklsjdf ---------------------------------------------------

Heartslaybul

Riddle - (Dark) Chocolate Strawberry Bark

Materials and Ingredients: - Parchment paper - Cutting board/cookie tray - Microwave-safe bowl - Knife - Strawberries (it's okay if they're overripe, as long as you can still cut them safely) - (Dark) Chocolate chips or Nutella, your choice - Peanut butter - Sweetened condensed milk (scm) - Plastic container - Freezer

Instructions:

Cut your parchment paper to about the size of a cookie sheet, but really it depends on how many strawberries you're using (I do not remember how many I used, I think it was like 8, you do not need many, especially if you cut them really thin) and put on top of cutting board/cookie sheet. A flexible cutting board is best, but it's whatever fits in your freezer.

Destem your strawberries and slice them thinly while they're standing upright. Like the part you destemmed is against the parchment paper. (or cutting board but y'know. Why Dirty It). Place them laying down on the parchment paper as close to each other as possible. I found like. Fitting the triangle shapes together like teeth was the easiest way but something else might work better for you. Dice one or two strawberries and set aside.

In a bowl, measure out about a cup of chocolate. If it seems like too much, you can just. eat it ig or dip leftover strawberries into it like I did. If it's not enough, babe just add more it's okay lmao. If you're using chocolate chips, add some sort of fat before you microwave (any oil, lard/Crisco, butter, margarine, etc.) in fifteen second intervals. (if you don't have a microwave, there are instructions under 'General tips and tricks' to hopefully help!). If you're using Nutella, just pop that bad boy in there for fifteen second intervals. In both cases, mix in between intervals until it's kind of runny.

Pour chocolate evenly over the strawberries, at least enough to cover them completely from the top/fill any gaps that are present. Wash the bowl, and repeat the process with peanut butter.

This is optional I really like chocolate and think it's more aesthetically pleasing than peanut butter, but peanut butter doesn't harden as well as chocolate does to bind the strawberry layer together so I couldn't put it first. I did another layer of chocolate on top, but it was thinner than the original one.

Sprinkle diced strawberries on top, and drizzle SCM to your hearts content. (Any leftover SCM needs to be put into a separate container and can stay in your fridge for up to 3 weeks).

Freeze it. It's just faster this way and helps the peanut butter out. I left mine in there for a day, but I think it's okay after like an hour, idk, you decide.

Snap/cut your bark into smaller pieces, use the parchment paper to help line whatever container you're going to use and store your treat in there. I enjoyed these treats best frozen or on top of vanilla ice cream, but they do need to be kept at least refrigerated. Fair warning, if you're a slow eater, these will get messy if you wait too long slkdjfhlkjsdfsdf recommend you eat with a fork.

THE REST ARE UNDER THE CUT WOOT WOOT (Riddle's is easily one of the higher effort ones, so do not be dismayed! There are some on this list with only 2 ingredients, I just talk a lot LMAO)

Trey - Tanghulu No baking required, still satisfies his sweet tooth.

Materials and Ingredients: - Stove (someone said you can use a microwave, IIIIII don't Like That for this, but I'm sure you can) - Fruit (doesn't really matter what kind. I used kiwis, strawberries, and grapefruit.) - White sugar - Water - Bowl of ice water - Fork (skewers are better but I didn't have any, and toothpicks...don't fw toothpicks for this okay??) - Parchment paper\Plate (you just need to make sure it's hardened BEFORE you put the fruit on it kdfjhsfjkd)

Instructions:

Ensure your fruit is washed/dried, peeled or otherwise "ready to eat" before starting

Use a 2:1 sugar to water ratio and put it in a pot. (So 2 cups of sugar to 1 cup of water, or a more likely amount you'll actually use up is 1 cup of sugar to 1/2 cup of water)

Heat on medium and watch closely, it's not suggested you mix it, I did, just by swirling the pot to make sure all the sugar was in the water, but then I left it alone. You'll see it starting to change colour to yellow-y rather than clear. Use a spoon/fork to dip into the sugar mixture and then immediately into the bowl of ice water. If it appears stringy or is still soft and sticky to touch, it's not ready yet. Keep boiling until your test drop solidifies on contact/within seconds of being in the ice water.

Turn the heat down slightly and use your fork or skewer to poke your fruit, and dip carefully into sugar mixture. Immediately, (but carefully) place your sugar covered fruit into the ice bowl. Once you take it out, it should only take a moment to harden before you place it on a plate/parchment paper.

Intended to be eaten immediately, does not store very well. Check 'general tips and tricks' for how to clean the pot/fork

Cater - Spicy Garlic Cheese Bread

Materials and Ingredients: - French Bread (works the best, but you can use whatever bread you have on hand) or premade garlic bread - Butter/Margarine - Salad herbs (like the premade mix or whatever, other seasonings optional) - (Shredded) Cheese - Jalapenos - Other toppings + hot sauce (optional) - Bowl - Spoon - Microwave - Oven

Instructions:

If using premade garlic bread, skip to step 3. Otherwise, get your bowl and chunk of butter (if using french bread, I would say about a half cup) and pop it in the microwave just long enough to get it soft, but not melted. Measure salad herbs with your heart and mix with a spoon.

Cut your bread in half and slather that son of a bitch in butter, having worked in a bakery I know that premade garlic bread literally gets a Handful of "butter" (it's margarine) that just gets. Slathered onto half of a day-old French bread loaf. (Safeway. Looking at you.) If you want to try putting on some BBQ sauce or tomato sauce now would be your time to add it. If you are adding sauce, a little less butter is recommended otherwise it will get Soggy

Put on as much cheese as you want. Whatever cheese you want. I'm not the boss of you.

Throw on jalapenos and any other toppings you want. (red onions, bell peppers, make it a meal with some chicken or something idk)

Broil on high until It Looks Right, as in the cheese is melted and golden brown in some areas (assuming it's marble cheese), or wrap in aluminum foil (risky with The Cheese) and bake at 350 F for like 10 minutes (I still recommend baking over broiling but it's your choice bestie)

Drizzle with hot sauce if you want/any other condiments.

French bread is pretty big, so cut into smaller pieces and share with friends/family/your neighbour/ whatever or full send it or you can try to store it, I think once it's cooled, a plastic bag would be the best bet for storage, and only for a day or two before your bread gets Sad.

Deuce - Ants on a Log He used to love it when his mom would send him to school with these.

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board (unless you would like to be a heathen like me) - Knife - Celery - Peanut butter - Raisins/Chocolate chips/Cereal/whatever you want

Instructions:

Decide if you even want to bother cutting your celery, you can leave it whole if you really want.

If you want to cut your celery, cut it according to taste or break that motherfucker with your bare hands just to hear it snap and get that little bit of Emotion and satisfaction out of it. Not recommended if you want bite sized pieces. Generally only cut in a way that keeps the 'sides' of the celery in tact, like you should have a little 'dip' to put peanut butter in, but its ok if its not comfortable to eat it that way and you need to cut it vertically as well, nbd, BUT DON'T CUT IT THAT WAY YET it's so much harder to get the peanut butter on.

Use a butter knife to add peanut butter to your celery. It should fill the little valley in between the sides of the stalk. **Now would be the time to cut again if you want Planks if you know what I mean

Add your toppings, be it raisins, chocolate chips, etc. along the peanut butter to represent the ants slkdjhflksjdf

Ace - Oreo Mug Cake His brother showed him once and he didn't stop since.

Materials and Ingredients: - Oreos - Milk - Fork - Microwave safe mug - Microwave - Whipped Cream (optional)

Instructions:

Get your mug.

Throw 4-6 Oreos in. (4 for an 8 ounce mug, more for a bigger one) and soak in 1 less tablespoon of milk than the amount of cookies you put in. (so 3 tbs for an 8 ounce mug)

The longer you soak them, the easier it is to crush them and break them up, it should become kind of cakey texture already

Pop that bad boy in the microwave for a minute, and in 20 second intervals after that as necessary. Its not like it matters if it's 'raw' though.

Let it cool until you can handle the mug comfortably, add whipped cream or other toppings and enjoy!

Savanaclaw

Leona - Bacon Wrapped Sausages

Materials and Ingredients: - Baking dish (should have some depth to it) - Parchment paper - Cocktail sausages - Bacon - Scissors/Knife - Toothpicks - Brown sugar (optional) - Oven

Instructions:

Cut your bacon in half

Preheat your oven to 350 F. Roll up cocktail sausage in half a rasher of bacon and secure in place with a toothpick.

Place parchment paper in/on baking dish and place the rolls inside

Once you've prepared as many as you'd like, you can sprinkle brown sugar on top.

Bake for about an hour

Ruggie - Elote Loco (Mexican street corn/ 'crazy corn')

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned corn - Mayo - Lemon/Lime - Salt - Pepper - Cayenne - Bowl

Instructions:

Drain your corn can, then add corn to your bowl

Literally. Add everything else according to taste. Heat if you want to, or put in the fridge to eat cold. (I like it cold).

Jack - Fruit Leather (this is a higher-effort, more time-consuming recipe)

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board (not optional this time :/) - Knife/Corer (if applicable) - Stove - Large saucepan - Water - Blender/Potato Masher - Lemon/Sugar/Cinnamon/Nutmeg, Etc. (optional, but recommended) - Parchment paper - Baking tray - Oven - Pizza cutter (makes things easier, not necessary)

Instructions:

Prepare your fruit. (Wash, peel, destem, core them, remove pits, etc.)

Chop into chunks, and simmer in 1/2 cup of water for every 4 cups of fruit while covered for 10-20 minutes, or until fruit is cooked. You can mash by hand or just go ahead and transfer everything to a blender, but you will have to transfer back into the pot after.

Taste, and add sugar/lemon/spices according to your preference.

Simmer and stir until everything is mixed in completely and the puree has thickened. (5-10 minutes)

Preheat oven to 140 F (check GTAT at the end for troubleshooting). Puree thoroughly in a blender/food processor.

Line baking tray and pour puree evenly onto it, it should be about 1/4 inch thick. Bake for 8-12 hours.

Use pizza cutter to cut into smaller pieces. You can cut the parchment paper underneath and roll the pieces accordingly to store.

This is a more labour intensive snack, BUT it keeps for sooo long. It can keep at room temp in ziploc bag for a month. In the fridge for 6 months. In the freezer for a year. Also a really good way to use overripe fruit.

Octavinelle

Azul - Funnel Cakes >:D (I had to look up a recipe to base the measurements off of, I did not memorize this, but I changed a few things when I Actually Made them)

Materials and Ingredients: - Stove - Large pan - Oil (Vegetable oil, but I think coconut or sunflower oil should work too if you have certain restrictions) - 1/4 cup Milk - 1 Egg - 1 tbsp Water - Splash of Vanilla extract (splash is generally between a 1/4 tsp and 1 tsp To Me) - White sugar (to taste) - 3/4 tsp Baking powder - Pinch of Salt - 1/2 cup Flour - Powdered sugar (to taste) - Cinnamon (to taste) - Plate - Paper towel - Large measuring cup - Fork or tongs - Other toppings (optional)

Instructions:

Throw all the Wet ingredients into the large measuring cup and whisk

Add sugar, cinnamon, salt, and baking powder, whisk until combined

Add oil to pan and start heating on medium, it should be about an inch deep to deep fry. Add flour to measuring cup and whisk until smooth.

(Refer to GTAT at the end to know when oil is hot enough). Use the measuring cup to drizzle the batter in a line around the pan and overlap as desired. Honestly, the thicker the lines the better imo. Cook for 2 minutes until golden brown, then flip and repeat.

Once cooked, move carefully to plate with paper towel to soak up the oil, and add powdered sugar on top. Add other toppings as desired.

Jade - Roasted Chickpeas Easy protein to bring on a hike

Materials and Ingredients: - Can of chickpeas - Baking tray - Parchment paper - Olive oil - Seasoning as you wish (Personal recommendation: garlic powder, salt, paprika, pepper and a little cayenne) - Oven

Instructions:

Line a baking tray with parchment paper and preheat your oven to 400 F.

Drain your can of chickpeas, rinse, then drain again. Try and dry them out a bit before you season them, either leaving them in a colinder or letting them sit out on paper towels or a cloth...or on the tray if you've got time to kill. **If you don't like the feeling of oil on your hands, you might have an extra dish to wash but thats okay. Add your chickpeas to a glass bowl before the next step.

Transfer chickpeas to the tray (if you're not using the bowl) and coat with a generous amount of oil. Add seasonings as you wish, then mix with your hands (or a spoon if you're using the bowl, then transfer to the tray.)

Bake for 20-30 minutes, shaking the pan gently about every 10 minutes to help rotate the chickpeas. Once they're golden brown and crunchy, they're done.

Best eaten straight away, but you can keep them in container for a few days.

Floyd - Trail Mix (AKA the ADHD snack Ever imo)

Materials and Ingredients - Anything you got in your pantry that already kinda qualifies as a snack food - Something to put it in (bag or bowl/container with a lid is preferable) - My favourite mix to make is granola, cranberries, raisins, and chocolate chips

Instructions

Grab your materials

If you're using something that should probably cut up, (like fruit by the foot or something idk) just rip it and throw it in the Container.

Mix everything in a bowl or bag. Use more of your Favourite Ingredient than everything else, then close your storage thing.

Shake that motherfucker

Put everything back (or do this As You Add it so you're left with nothing to clean up at the end)

Scarabia

Kalim - The Forbidden (I made this when I was like 6 for a week straight after school, I DO NOT recommend) He came up with this as a midnight snack and didn't want to bother Jamil.

Materials and Ingredients - Microwave - Microwave safe bowl - Chocolate chips - Mini marshmallows - Fork - A very high tolerance for Texture and Sweetness

Instructions:

Put chocolate chips and marshmallows in the bowl

Microwave for 15 second intervals, mixing with your fork in between.

When it becomes a sticky amalgamation from hell and looks like a dung beetle would be proud of it, it's done.

Jamil - Fattoush He saves the leftovers of the dishes he makes for Kalim throughout the day in order to make some version of Fattoush

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board - Knife + Pizza cutter (not necessary, but fun) - Lettuce - Tomato - Cucumber - Radishes - Pita bread - Pan - Stove - Olive oil - Salt + pepper - Bowl x 2 - Glass measuring cup - Lemon juice - Garlic powder, dried mint, and sumac (you don't have to use these) - (I like adding Granny smith apples and goat or feta cheese, but it's not traditional)

Instructions:

Cut up your veggies like you would for any salad and throw em in a bowl

Use the pizza cutter to slice pita bread into smaller, bite sized pieces.

Fry the pieces with a little bit of olive oil, salt and pepper, then set aside in a different bowl so they stay Crunchy

In the glass measuring cup use about 2 tbsp of lemon juice, add some garlic powder, dried mint, salt, pepper, sumac, and whisk.

Slowly stream in about 3 tbsp of olive oil and whisk continuously until it combines. (this might take a while to emulsify, yes you can use a hand mixer on low if you want)

Drizzle dressing over your salad portion, and add pita chips as you wish

Pomefiore

Vil - Parfait He let the French man into his life, also this is bougie parfait, you don't have to follow this exactly lmao, this is just how I used to make it for my mom

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board + knife - Grapes, red and green if possible - Granola - Blueberries (they can be frozen) - Cherries, cored/halved except one (can also be frozen) - Yogurt (I prefer vanilla for this stuff, Vil probably uses plain Greek yogurt and some honey for sweetness) - A wine glass, otherwise just a clear glass makes it look best, but it doesnt really matter - Spoon

Instructions:

Dice those grapes as small or large as you like, mine are generally the size of like. The eraser end of a pencil. Set aside.

Get your glass and gently spoon yogurt into the bottom, up by about 2 inches. If you have the patience, gently arrange the blueberries into a 1 berry layer. If not, just grab less than a handful of blueberries and put them on top of the yogurt.

Add another inch of yogurt to completely cover the berry layer, and add a thin layer of granola. Cover completely with yogurt again, using another inch-2 inches to do so

Again, if you have the patience, you can arrange your cherry halves into a nice circle to completely cover the yogurt layer. If not, do the same thing as the blueberries.

Cover with another inch-two inches of yogurt. Add a thicker band of granola this time, and top with yogurt once more, to nearly the top of the glass.

Add your whole cherry to the middle of the parfait, and add the mix of diced grapes around it. ** if you used frozen fruit, let it thaw for a couple minutes so you can see the colour bleed into the yogurt a bit bc it looks cool. I'm the boss of you for this one rule because I'm right about it sdlkjfhsldjkf

Rook - Maakouda A guilty pleasure of his. He remembers them fondly from home. Works best with leftover mashed potatoes.

Materials and Ingredients: - Mashed potatoes (if you don't have left overs, just boil chunked potatoes in lightly salted water. Once they're soft, drain them, use a handmixer to mix, add some butter/whipping cream, season as you wish (garlic powder, salad herbs, salt, pepper), add shredded cheese if you want idc. Once everything is mixed you got yourself. Mashies.) - Egg - Garlic, Parsley, Cumin, Tumeric, Salt, Pepper - Flour in a bowl - Oil - Pan - Stove** - you can use an air-fryer for this if you want - Slotted spoon/tongs/fork - Plate w/ paper towel

Instructions:

For every 2 cups of mashed potatoes, you will add one egg, but don't do it yet. Add seasoning to your mashed potatoes first so you can taste and adjust the flavour as necessary, THEN add your egg(s).

Start heating oil, (about 2 inches) in a pan at medium heat. While you wait for it to get to temperature, (Look at GTAT to know when the oil is hot enough) roll your potato mixture into small balls and roll in flour

Fry until golden. Remove from oil using your utensil of choice and let it drain on the paper towel

Repeat until all the "batter" is used up

Epel - Dulce de Leche + Apple Slices Ruggie showed it to him

Materials and Ingredients - Sweetened Condensed Milk (if you don't just have dulce de leche on hand) - Apples (Granny Smith recommended) - Two glass baking pans, one larger than the other - Water - Oven

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 425 F

Pour SCM into smaller glass pan, cover with foil

Place smaller glass pan into larger glass pan. Fill the larger glass pan with as much water as necessary to cover the level of SCM in the smaller pan

Throw it in the oven for like 2 hours and monitor periodically to refill with water if necessary. Keep cooking until it's the colour golden brown you want

Once it's to colour, remove from oven carefully, remove foil, and remove from larger glass pan carefully.

Once cool enough, store in glass jar if possible, or wait longer and store it in a plastic container.

Cut up apple and whatever is left in the pan, scrape it out with the apple and eat it lmaooo unless you have a silicone spatula ain't no way you getting all that caramel out of the pan. Serve yourself more as necessary lmao

Ignihyde

Idia - Worms and Dirt Baybeeeeeeee The far less healthy version of a parfait

Materials and Ingredients: - Crushed Oreos (Oreos + double bagged ziploc bags and you Gamer Rage sldfhlskdjfhlsj) - Whipped Cream - (If making from scratch, you'll need whipping cream, vanilla, and powdered sugar + hand mixer. Just throw ingredients in to taste and mix) - Chocolate pudding - Gummy worms - Rolling pin (optional) - Mixing bowl (glass or metal preferable) - Spatula - (Clear) Glass

Instructions:

Crush the Oreo's by any means necessary. Obliterate them.

Pack the Oreo remains into the bottom of your cup

Mix your whipped cream with the chocolate pudding using the spatula to fold it into each other until it Tastes Right. That is subjective, so if you Like it and it's Brown you Did It.

Spoon/plap how much of your chocolate mousse you'd like into your cup. Throw in a couple gummy worms, add more oreo corpse if you want then fill to the top with chocolate mousse.

Top with more oreo ashes and more gummy worms

Leftover mousse is pretty versatile if you have it with fruit or make more worms and dirt, but it only keeps for a day or two in the fridge

Ortho - :(

Diasomnia

Malleus - "Snow Cone"

Materials and Ingredients: - Rage - Double or triple ziploc bags - Ice - Hot water - Grenadine, Maple syrup, Lime and salt, something else (Choose ONE per serving or embrace Lilia's energy and regret it) - A bowl + spoon

Instructions:

Double/triple bag ice

Run bags under hot water for a few minutes to help melt the ice a little bit (assuming you don't have already very small pieces of ice)

Crush the ice via brute force (its a good work out) OR I GUESS you could use a BLENDER but where's the fun in that

Get rid of any extra water and serve very finely crushed ice in a bowl

Top with your desired flavouring to taste

Lilia -

REDACTED

Silver - Refried Beans Another Ruggie special lmao I love him so much

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned black beans - Salsa (optional) - Chicken bouillon - Oil - Pan/Stove - Wooden spoon/potato masher - Chips or some sort of bread

Instructions:

Drain a little more than half of the Bean Juice

Over medium heat, add a little bit of oil to the pan, (enough to cover the bottom), and add the Beans

As it heats up and the remaining Bean Juice starts to bubble, add chicken bouillon and salsa to taste.

Mash the beans while they cook to mix in flavouring and to get beans to the right consistency. They'll be done when there's no liquid left sloshing around, but you can decide how Dry you want your beans

Add beans on top of tortilla chips, sprinkle cheese on top and call it done, throw some in a burrito or on top of salad, lightly toast some bread, put some mayo on it and add the beans, do what you want <3

Sebek - Salmon Croquettes

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned salmon - Diced bell peppers (choose your favourite colours)**go to GTAT for other substitutions and notes - Diced red onion - Egg (if you don't have any just add more mayo) - Worcestershire sauce - Mayo - Garlic powder, salt, pepper, paprika, other seasonings (your choice) -Bowl - Flour - Panko (optional, or substitute bread crumbs) - Oil - Stove/Pan - Tongs (you can try to use a fork but it won't always work lol) - Plate w/paper towel

Instructions:

Prepare your veggies, and drain salmon

Mix in with canned salmon, and add mayo, Worcestershire, and seasonings to taste. Add just a tiny bit more than you think you should in regards to spices because when you throw the flour in, it'll 'dilute' the flavour a bit

Lightly beat 1 egg for every 5 ounces of salmon (should be on the can) and add to mixture, using hands or wooden spoon to mix.

Add just enough flour and breadcrumbs to the mixture that it doesn't stick to your hands.

Set up your pan with oil, (just enough to cover the bottom), over medium heat and make little 'patties' out of your mix.

Fry your patties until golden brown (2-3 minutes) on both sides.

Remove from heat and place on plate to drain.

Staff

Crowley - Fuckit Fudge (AKA Rocky Road Fudge)

Materials and Ingredients: - Parchment paper - Cake pan - 2 cups Chocolate chips - SCM (14 oz = 1 3/4 cups, should be on the can) - 1/4 cup Butter - Vanilla - Marshmallows - Almonds - Anything else you want (just be aware you'll have to add more chocolate and you'll likely have to cut down on the other fillings as well) - Glass bowl - Spatula - Microwave/Double boiler (GTAT tells you how to make one) - Patience

Instructions:

Melt chocolate chips, SCM, and butter (about 90 seconds in the microwave)

While it's melting, set up your cake pan with parchment paper

Add a splash of vanilla extract and mix with spatula until smooth

Stir add-ins into mixture, and pour into cake pan carefully

Make sure mixture is spread evenly, and refrigerate until it solidifies (depends on how deep you made the fudge)

Cut into chunks and serve. Stores well in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Trein - Raspberry Cordial Not a 'snack' but like if the Shaftlands are known for ruby berries I feel like this is close enough. It's from Anne of Green Gables, shhh its soooo good

Materials and Ingredients - Raspberries (GASP can you believe it) - Lemon/lemon juice - White sugar - Water - Sparkling water/Ginger Ale works too. Sprite is a stretch. - Pot/Stove - Fine mesh strainer - Pitcher - Ladle - Glass measuring cup

Instructions:

We're making a raspberry syrup, so you can use fresh, overripe or frozen raspberries. For every cup of raspberries, use just under a half cup of sugar, (3 cups of raspberries = 1 1/4 cups of sugar), and put both into a pot/saucepan.

Cook on medium/high heat and mash with like. the bottom of a ladle or something. It'll take like 20 minutes to have it cooked down to a liquid.

Strain into the measuring cup. If there are still seeds or pulp, strain again. Squeeze lemon into it in small amounts and taste as you go until you get the flavour You Want. This is your syrup. At this point, if you want to save some to use for other recipes or something, set some aside.

Boil the water (Use one cup more of water than you did of raspberries) and add it to the pitcher with your raspberry syrup. Mix, then let it chill in the fridge. ** if you would like to use sparkling water/lemonade or ginger ale instead, you'll just have to mix for longer is all, don't heat those

Serve and garnish with lemon or mint.

Crewel - Carrot Salad idk man I'm running out of steam and ideas lmaoooo

Materials and Ingredients: - Carrots, peeled - Grater - Bowl - Lemon, salt, cayenne - Fork

Instructions:

Grate your carrots into the bowl you're gonna eat out of

Squeeze your shredded carrots to get rid of the extra Juice (look at GTAT)

Add lemon/lime, salt and cayenne according to taste, and mix with fork

Tastes best chilled, eat immediately

Vargas - Deviled Eggs

Materials and Ingredients: - Saucepan/pot + Stove - Water - Eggs - Mayo - Salt, pepper, paprika, cayenne - Bowl + fork - Lime juice (optional) - Knife and cutting board - Bowl with ice water

Instructions:

Choose how many eggs you're gonna want to make, idk, maybe 6? Put them in the pot and gently fill with just enough water to cover them. Add salt and lemon juice (GTAT) to the water and heat on medium

Prepare your bowl with ice water. Let your eggs boil for about 8 minutes before draining the water and running them under cold water until they're cool enough to handle for a few seconds to put in the ice bath

Wait until your eggs are cold enough to handle for you to crack the egg shells off. I love using my hands but if it's easier to put it in a container with a lid and shake it gently, go ahead, just shake it enough to break the shell in a way you can remove it.

Once all your eggs are shelled, cut them in half the long way, (be careful they are Slippery)

Remove the yolks gently without ripping the egg white. Generally, you can just use your fingers or turn the egg upside down orrr very gently push the yolk out from behind into the bowl.

Add mayo and seasonings at your discretion. (if it feels like it's missing something, you can try adding diced pickles/pickle juice, bacon bits, dill, or mustard.) Mash together with the fork until smooth, or if you're using a lot of eggs you can use a hand mixer. Mixture should be creamy.

Gently spoon the mixture back into the egg whites. Any leftover mixture will be great on sandwiches!

Sam - Sausage Bites

Materials and Ingredients: - 1 Pillsbury OG Crescent Roll dough - Sausage of your choice, cut into 1 inch pieces (unless it's cocktail sausages, leave them as is) - 1 Egg + 1tbsp for an egg wash - Baking sheet + parchment paper (oven) - Flour - Pizza cutter (more fun than a knife) - Plate w/ paper towel - Sauce: 1/2 cup Mayo, 1 tbsp mustard, 1 tbsp ketchup + Cajun seasoning to your hearts content or a simple chipotle mayo works too

Instructions:

Make your sauce, throw it in the fridge to cool, set your oven to 350 F.

Lightly flour your counter and spread out the Pillsbury dough. Cut each triangle into 3 smaller triangles. Place sausage on wide end of the triangle and wrap it to make kind of like. A donut around it.

Place on baking sheet and add egg wash. I don't have a basting brush so I kinda wing it with whatever bright idea strikes me first. Usually I just end up using my fingers lol

Bake for 15 minutes, until pastry is golden brown

Once done, place on plate and allow to cool. Add toothpicks if you'd like, and serve with your dip.

Others (BONUS, come on guys I'm pretending like this is something people actually want to read LMAO)

Jack T. - Vanilla Latte Bars

Materials and Ingredients: - Coffee beans - Vanilla - Pitted dates - Rolled oats - Food processor - Cake pan + parchment paper

Instructions:

For every cup of oats, match with pitted dates + 1/2 a cup. (2 cups oats = 2 1/2 cups of dates). For every cup of oats, add a 1/8 cup of coffee beans. (2 cups oats = 1/4 cup coffee beans). Add vanilla with your heart. Everything goes in the food processor and gets blended.

Pinch the 'dough' between your fingers. If it doesn't crumble, it's ready. If it does, add a splash of warm water, blend again, and repeat until the dough holds it's shape.

Press mixture into cake pan evenly and refrigerate

Cut and serve once hardened

Che'nya - Cheez-whiz, pickle and mini-marshmallow sandwich Oh, context? Yeah my dad said this was his childhood snack and I wanted to be like him when I was like 5. Do not recommend. But I also don't like processed cheese.

Materials and Ingredients - White bread, Wonder bread is ideal - Cheez-whiz - Sweet pickles, sliced - Multi coloured mini marshmallows - A psych assessment

Instructions:

You don't get help with this. You know what you're doing.

Falena - Chicharrones (Like. Pork bites.)

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board + knife - Pork cutlet (I only need to feed myself, so a huge cut of meat isn't necessary - Salt - Baking tray + parchment paper (oven)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Cut your pork cut into ~1 inch cubes, or smaller. Place on baking sheet and use a generous amount of salt to season. Mix with your hands.

Cook until you can easily pull the pork apart

I like to use a little lemon, a little homemade tortilla and some crema to eat them, but just lemon or using them to top nachos works too

Cheka - Poor Man's Horchata He just likes it more because he can set it up mostly by himself, and he can share it without worrying about nut allergies.

Materials and Ingredients - Pitcher - Water - White sugar - Oats - Vanilla - Cinnamon - Ice - Wooden spoon

Instructions:

For every cup of oats, add half a cup of sugar into pitcher (or cup for a personal serving)

Bring 3/4 full with water and add ice to bring it as high as you are comfortable stirring.

Add remaining ingredients to taste, and add sugar/water/oats as necessary

Najma - Mango with Tajin

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board and knife - Mango - Tajin - Bowl

Instructions:

Cut your mango however you like. I typically cube my Haden mangoes, but Ataulfo I do the grid thing and pop it up

Add Tajin to your preference. If you don't have Tajin, use lime, salt and cayenne.

Neige (and the dwarves) - Tarte Soleil (higher effort snack) It's easy to share and 'sun tart' feels fitting

Materials and Ingredients: - 2 puff pastries, cut into equal size circles - Egg for wash, like Sam's - Black and white sesame seeds, (Optional) - Garlic butter (softened butter w/ garlic powder, salt, lemon and parsley to taste) - Baking sheet + parchment paper (oven) - Water - Cup/Glass - Knife

Instructions:

Cut your puff pastry so it's just small enough to fit on your baking sheet. Leave one on the sheet and put the other in the fridge for now. Preheat your oven to 350 F.

Spread the garlic butter on the circle, leaving about a half inch untouched all the way around the circle. Place in the fridge for 5 minutes to set.

Dab the edges of the crust with water and set the other puff pastry on top, gently pressing the edges together (not squishing)

Put the glass smack dab in the middle, or at least best you can, and upside down. (Do not Press.) Use your knife to cut away from the glass and make a bunch of 'rays' (easiest way is to quarter the dough, then cut each quarter into sixths.)

Remove the glass and gently press where your 'ray' meets the circle the glass made to prevent it from ripping as you twist it. Repeat for every 'ray'

Egg wash, (just like Sam's), sprinkle sesame seeds and bake until golden brown (30-35 minutes)

Let it cool, transfer to serving plate, and rip off the rays to eat.

---------------------------------------------

GENERAL TIPS AND TRICKS

If you need to melt chocolate and don't have a microwave (been there love, I know), you can use a small pot with water in it, I would say about a third of the pot is good, and a glass bowl big enough to sit on top of it. Boil that motherfucker and melt chocolate in the glass bowl, this is basically a poor man's double boiler

To clean melted sugar from the pot, there's a couple ways to go about it. I can't relax when I know there are dishes still waiting for me, so I used my kettle to boil more water, poured it into the pot, mixed it around with the fork I used, and most of it dissolved. I poured it down the sink, then used a sponge, soap and brute force to get the rest of it out. The other option is similar, where you just add fresh water to what's left of the sugar mixture, let it sit overnight, boil it again, and then dump it. (don't use cold water it will harden against the pot and be even more difficult to clean)

Some oven's don't go that low, I think the other common lowest temp is 170 F. That's okay! You can use a pair of metal tongs to keep your oven slightly ajar, just check in on it every once in a while. I use the same trick when I make meringue cookies and it works perfectly. Makes it wonderful during winter, but in summer make sure you don't overheat love <3.

You'll know the oil is hot enough to deep fry if you 1. put the back end of a wooden spoon in the oil and bubbles form around it, or 2. drop a small bit of the batter/flour in and it starts bubbling.

If you don't like bell peppers, you can shred carrots or zucchini, just make sure you squeeze and drain out the water first. You can do this with a cheese cloth or just your hands and pouring the water/juice out of the bowl over the sink. The dryer you can get it the better.

Adding lemon juice to the water helps separate the shell from the egg

--------------------------------------------------

I did this shit in like 8 hours gooooooooooooooooooooooooood I hope it doesn't flop. But if it does, I hope whoever it does reach, enjoys it, I had fun making it.

#v talks #twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #deuce spade #ace trappola #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil shoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmeir #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #dire crowley #mozus trein #divus crewel #ashton vargas #sam twst

[teddynivvy]

Can I…. can I has a part 2 to the current era schlatt virgin story where they has the soft sex pwetty pwease, I am craving a fluff right ‘bout now or tomorrow or anytime cause I’m STARVING…. 🥺👉👈💕

~🍓🍰 (yes, I’m one of Dollie’s beloved anons, if you don’t know who tf I am still, than hi! 👋🏼 I’m 🍓🍰 anon, I like fluff and submissive schlatt stories, and that’s all you need to know about me for now ^^)

ur acting like i’m not stalking dollie’s blog every day for content lmao ofc i know who u are i’m glad ur here :) as a fellow sub schlatt truther i’m here for u! continuation of pt 1 virgin!schlatt, afab!reader and nsfw :)

schlatt's laying back now, feeling much more comforted by your reaction to his confession.

he shakily breathes out when you start to pull off his clothes, taking yours off with them and allowing them to find a pile on the floor. the sun is just setting, painting his neck and chest light orange, as you find yourself between his legs.

his boxers came off with his pants, and you're impressed by the sight of his cock. you start to rub your hand over it, and he's achingly hard, trying not to cum just from the faint touch of your pretty fingers. "tell me if you want me to stop," you say, letting your other hand rub his thigh for reassurance. he looks down at you, almost alarmed. "please, don't stop."

your hand wraps around him as you envelop him in your mouth, feeling the tip of his length bob at the back of your throat. he's not making much noise, just gripping the sheets, hips bucking up slightly into your soft, wet mouth. you can tell he's holding back, so you pull off just for a second. "i like when you make noise," you note, and you feel him relax. "o-okay," he lets his hand come to your head as you start to take him in again, moans now pouring from his mouth.

he sounds unholy, groans and grunts because his cock is hitting the back of your mouth, as you let him fuck into it slightly. he's so needy for you, wants all of you - you can tell he won't last long like this, and you want to feel him inside of you.

"do you wanna fuck me?" you ask, with a smirk on your face. he nods vehemently, with a red face and a soft smile. "that felt so good," he rushes out, as you lay on your back and feel him on top of you. your legs wrap around him, heels digging into his lower back as you nod, double checking for his assurance. "i'm not, uh," he laughs into the crook of your neck. "i'm not gonna last long." you kiss him on the cheek, then the throat, then his lips, as he slides his cock deep inside of you.

you both gasp at the sensation - full and complete, as he starts to rut his hips into you. feeling the friction on your clit build, you're surprised at how easily he's hitting the right spot to make you cum right alongside him. "is that ok?" he asks, between breaths. "mmhm," you reply, feeling your hands find his broad shoulders as he pumps in and out, feeling his lips on your neck and the tension rising between you.

he's kissing you now, warm and sloppy as his thrusts get more jagged, still rutting up against you. your orgasms are building, and when he starts to go faster, you feel yourself unravel. "can i - fuck, fuck, - can i come inside of you?" you can tell he's so close, about to explode, so you crash your lips to his and nod, wrapping your legs around him to hold him inside of you.

it hits you both at the same time - seismic waves that have you crying out his name, gasping for more of him as your lips disconnect. he's groaning into your mouth, spurting hot cum inside of you and letting his hips rest in between your legs when he's finished. out of breath and sweaty, you lay there together, relishing in the feeling of warmth, running your hands through his hair.

"good first time?" you finally ask, after a beat to catch your breath.

"yeah. great first time."

#chuckle sandwich x reader #chuckle sandwich fanfiction #jschlatt smut #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt fanfic #nat writes

[fairyumii]

just a little stsg drabble i did for you guys <33

"Sugu! Look its a girl!"

"Satoru, are you stupid? You can't point at people its impolite!"

"Why is it just sitting there"

"I think she's crying.."

"Awww~, who made you cry?"

you just stared at them dumbfounded, you weren't even crying, you were lying on the grass as they hovered over you

"OH MY GOSH SUGU SHES SITTING UP"

"OH MY GOD SATORU SHUT THE HELL UP YOU'RE SCARING HER"

you carefully sat up and stared up at them

"H-hi!"

"Aww~! Your voice is so pretty. My name's Gojo !"

"My names Geto..."

"I'm Y/N !"

immediately you could tell the difference, Gojo was more laid back and playful while Geto was serious and well.... serious thats all. though you were different from them you guys established a strong friendship, standing up for each other, talking with each other, and basically doing everything with each other.

ପ꒰⑅•ᴗ•｡꒱໊੭━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚<33

usually people say "Every trio has a duo" this isn't the case for your friendship. with you guys everything is different, i wouldn't necessarily say that they're the duo but they are in a sense??? I mean like they usually make plans to do stuff and force you to join them not leaving you alone just not letting you make the decisions ( lmao im sorry i don't make sense im new to making these things :((( )

for example they'll make plans for a sleepover without telling you you then just drag you along, not caring if you wanna go or if dont wanna go

"Huh~? Why didn't you plan it with me~, I could've made time for you guys! Besides I already have plans :(( sorry...."

"...Ah, I see..."

"Nooooo, darling~ You can't cancel them?? For us??"

"Sorry 'Toru, I can't we've been planning this for dayss"

"...Can we come?"

"YEAHHH! CAN WE COME PLEASSEEE MAY WE???"

"Sugu~, it's girls onlyyy"

both their eyebrows furrow and just blankly look at you

"......."

"......."

".......what"

"Wellllll, guess what darling!! You are either going with us to this girls only shit orrrr you ditch them and come to our sleep overr"

Geto just nods to his words while crossing his arms

"Darling, you wouldn't ditch us for them would you? We prepared this for days and canceled our plans for this too!"

of course Geto was going to manipulate you into coming with them, after all you're just a dumb pretty thing right? They could easily manipulate you into moving in with them how hard could this be? Perhaps not...

"No, I always cancel plans for them just to be with you guys. I know you planned this for a long time but I haven't seen my friends in a long time... You could bring Nobara to the sleepover!!"

"I don't want Nobara...."

"Well I don't wanna cancel my plans Sugu... Sorry maybe another time?"

"No, Y/n I said either we're going WITH you or you come with US"

i mean its ok right?? You'll just bring them with you can get this over with! You can probably make them wait in the car? wait no, you can't you aren't that cold hearted but if you bring them to an all girls sleepover its going to be awkward... maybe you could ask your friend if they can sleep on the couch? I mean maybe its an exception

"Mmm... You can come with me then.. I have to ask my friend about it though"

"...Really?"

"Ah, ok then you can ask them now"

"Mmk..."

you picked up your phone and attempted to stand up to go call your friend

"No, stay here put her on speaker I wanna listen please"

you reluctantly sat down and called her putting her on speaker

"Hii, you ok Y/n?"

"Mhm... I was just going to ask you if I can bring two of my other friends over?"

"best friends"

"Oh yeah, I mean best friends.."

"Oh! Yes of course! The more the merrier!"

"...What if they were the opposite gender..."

you could hear the pause as you started sweating with Geto and Gojo intently stared at you

"U-uhm... It's an all girls sleepover though...its going to be a little weird"

...well this was awkward as hell, you stared at them and saw Gojo pout a little while Geto glared so hard at the phone you swore it would shatter

"I-I promise they won't be any trouble! They'll sleep on the couch"

"I wanna sleep with you though..."

"No, it's my turn Geto shut up"

"No you shut the fuck up"

"Y/n~ he sweared at mee~"

"...Are they in the room with you right now?"

oh fuck

"No? What do you mean?"

"I jus' heard something sorry... I mean, I guess if they're ok with sleeping on the couch then sure thing! Just don't tell anybody else I don't want a bunch of girls bringing boys now..."

"Oh! Thank you! I'll get you snacks!"

"You don't have to~ but come earlier I wanna show you something!"

"Oh! Ok I'll come like 20 minutes earlier?"

"Mm, perfect! Mmk Cya!"

"Byee Cyaa~!"

she hung up as you glanced at the time, 3 more hours until the sleepover you got up and put your phone on the table

"Uhmm, wanna come with me to go get snacks?"

"YES PLEASEE"

"Yeah, I wanna come with you"

ପ꒰⑅•ᴗ•｡꒱໊੭━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚<33

"Oh! Y/n you're- ... oh?"

she just nervously smiled staring at the men behind you glaring at her as you smiled at her seeming giddy

"Hii Aeri! Here, I picked some snacks out for you"

you handed her the bag as she let you guys enter, she just silently stared at the floor as you guys took off your shoes and put on your slippers

"U-uh, Y/n come! Lemme show you something!"

she said as she grabbed your wrist and dragged you somewhere, she seemed excited and happy, not noticing the men following you and her

"Y/NNNN I GOT A CAT LOOK ISN'T SHE CUTE? SHES THE SAME BREED AS YOURSS"

"OMG IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKS SIMI"

you bent down to pet it softly as she bent down next to you she picked it up and placed it in your arms

of course Geto and Gojo were annoyed that you were paying attention to a pesky animal besides they deserve your attention more all animals do are poo, eat, and sleep they didn't do anything to deserve your attention

ପ꒰⑅•ᴗ•｡꒱໊੭━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚<33

"Y/n"

"Y/n"

"Y/niee~"

"Darling wake up"

you groggily opened your eyes as you stared into bright blue eyes and black eyes (please dont ask me how you can see black eyes in the dark :(( )

"W-what are you guys doing here? You're supposed to be on the couch..."

"Can't sleep without you..."

"This idiot kept kicking me and snoring.... I want to sleep with you not him..."

"...."

"...."

"...."

you sat up and looked around you seeing the door open with the girls sprawled on the floor and bed

"Mm, m'kay"

you really didn't have any energy to argue with them and scold them about coming in the room which they were specifically told not to go in

AIUSHDKJSHDFJK JIM SO SORRY JMY HANDS HURT LIKE HELL IM GONNNA RIGHT A PART TWO LATER >:(((

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere gojo satoru #yandere jjk x reader #gojo x reader #yandere geto x reader #yandere geto suguru #yandere satosugu #stsg #drabble #fairyumii

[kissesfrombangtanatnight]

Memory Lane

AN Inspired by this throwback pic of Jey! You can't tell me they all weren't swimming in it LMAO! Enjoy!

You're both 17. I do not own this image.

Year of 2002

Jey. "Mama, I don't want to be here." You groan as you fold your arms in annoyance. Your parents were forcing you to join them for one of their co-workers/ friends kickbacks at the beach. You sat in the backseat of your parents SUV with annoyance written all over your face. You'd rather be at home in your bed watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or reading a book while your grandmother watched Jeopardy downstairs in the living room.

"Come on sweetie, it's going to be a nice little family and friends get together. Besides Joshua is going to be there." She grins.

"Of course he's going to be there mama, it's his dad hosting it." You roll your eyes.

Joshua Fatu, or Jey as everyone in school called him was a classmate of yours along with his twin brother Jonathan and his cousin Joseph Anoai. You didn't know much about these three except they were voted as Most Handsome in your senior yearbook. They also played football together, basketball, baseball, and pretty much any other sport that they could have a ball in their hands. They were quite literally the popular kids of your school. You, on the other hand, kept to yourself. You were the top student at your school, in the poetry club, a part of your school's student government association, and were even active in your community. Not to toot your own horn, but you were also in the American Sign Language, Spanish, German, French, and Chinese clubs.

You often try to stay clear of boys like Joshua as they seemed to be nothing but trouble. It's crazy because while you tried to avoid them, boys and girls flocked to them. Boys envied them or wanted to be their friends and girls wanted to date them. You remember when Joseph Anoai started dating one of the cheerleaders and she thought she was the shit. But truth be told, you're sure any girl these three guys associated themselves with would.

"I could be coming up with a cure for the common cold or the world's first solar-powered car and yet here I am being forced to party." You sigh. You weren't trying to come off as rude and ungrateful, but you just preferred your solitude.

"Sweet heart please, try and live a little. It's not going to hurt you to enjoy the beach and free food. I'm just as invested in your future as you are, but honey, please. You're 17 years old, not 30. Have fun while you can."

"I have to agree with your mother princess, this could be good for you to make friends."

"I don't want friends, they disappoint me."

"You look very beautiful today sweetheart." Your mother says changing the subject as you arrive at the beach.

"Thanks, mama." You mumble as you look down at your selected outfit for this afternoon. A Juicy Couture tracksuit with your matching purse and sneakers. Your hair was pulled into two curly pigtails, gold bamboo hoop earrings adorned your ears and your lip gloss was poppin' and shinin against your naturally brown and pink lips. You looked good!

You scan the beach as you see numerous bodies moving around freely with no care in the world. Music blasted, food was eaten, and laughter and smiles filled the air. Your dad found a vacant park, turned off the car, and then turned to you.

"Look sweetie, try to have fun, okay? It's not that bad and I'm sure you'll turn out to like it more than you think you will. Promise you'll try." He says, giving you a small smile.

"Yes sir. I promise."

~

You walk behind your parents as you all walk through the sandy beach to the area that Mr. Fatu or Rikishi as some call him, had designated.

"KISH!" A tall stocky-looking man turns around with a gap-tooth smile.

"USO! Y/M/N! WELCOME!" You watch as your parents approach him and give him a friendly hug. He then turns his attention to you. "Well hello, you must be y/n?" You step up and take his awaiting hand.

"Nice to meet you, sir." You say shyly. You always found it awkward meeting new people.

"Nice to meet you two sweetheart. Please enjoy yourselves, get some food, and enjoy the music, we have the reservation til midnight. If you'd like, the teens are over by the fire pit." Your parents stand talking with him and you ease your way away from the adults. You sigh as you find an empty chair on the beach before settling down. You were glad that you had decided to bring your diary along with you so that you could write in it. What else would you be writing in your diary beside your imaginary relationship with Chad Murray from One Tree Hill? You were so engrossed in your diary that you didn't hear someone shouting for you to look out.

"AYE WATCH OUT!!"

"Huh?" Before you could move, you were suddenly struck in the face with something hard, knocking you off the chair. You hear sand being kicked around as someone kneels to your side.

"Ayo, you okay?" You look up confused as ever to see Joshua and his twin brother Jimmy standing over you.

"Y-Yeah I'm-"You stop mid-sentence feeling something warm pouring from your nose. You look down at your now blood-stained jacket.

"Oh shit she bleeding!" Joshua smacks Jimmy's arm.

"Don't be cursin in front of a lady." He scolds his older brother. Soon Joseph appears beside his cousins.

"My bad. I didn't mean to hit you! I called out but you didn't hear me." Of course, he was the one that threw the ball. Josh helps you to your feet as he inspects your nose.

"I don't think it's broken."

"Do you need anything....maybe some water?" Jimmy asks.

"Smh foo what she gone need water for? She needs a towel." Josh says rolling his eyes. Jimmy shrugs.

"I'll be fine." You mumble stumbling to your feet. You grab your diary, throwing your jacket off you and holding it up to your nose. You hear all three of them arguing as you walk off to find your parents. You soon find them sitting with other adults in a circle. When they see you approach, they immediately jump to their feet.

"Sweetie, what happened?" Your mom asks running to your side. Before you can answer, you feel a presence beside you. You turn to Josh whose face is a little red.

"We threw a deep ball and it accidentally hit her in the face." He says sheepishly. "We weren't paying attention, my apologies Mrs. y/l/n."

"What did I tell y'all about throwing that ball around too close to others? I-"You cut off Mr. Fatu's rant.

"It's okay Mr. Fatu, they called out to me, I just wasn't paying attention. They didn't mean to." You reassure giving a small smile. "Mama, can I see the key so I can get something else to wear?" Your mother nods as she hands you the car key. You were thankful that you had some spare clothes in the trunk or else you'd have to walk around with this bloody outfit on. You quietly thank your mother and walk off. That is until you hear Josh calling out to you.

"Hey wait for me lil mama." You inwardly roll your eyes. You bet he says that to all the girls. You keep walking despite him calling out to you. He finally runs up beside you and walks with you in silence. You finally make it to your parents' car and get your spare clothes out of the trunk.

"If you don't mind, can you please tell my parents I'm going to the convenience store across the street to change?" You honestly just wanted to get as far away from him as possible. No, he hadn't done anything, it's just that you're super awkward in front of boys; especially cute ones.

"No, I wanna walk with you." He says an annoyingly beautiful smirk on his face. Rolling your eyes you walk off, once again leaving him behind. You make it across the street to the all-too-familiar convenience store. You come here so often that the owners know who you are.

"Um....I'll wait out here while you change," Josh says rubbing the back of his neck. You only nod as you walk off to the bathroom. It takes you about fifteen minutes before you're satisfied with your outfit and walk out. Your stomach growls and you realize that you haven't eaten since breakfast. You had to get back to the beach to get your something to eat. You search the aisles for Josh and finally find him in the snack aisle.

"Zebra caaaaaakes! Mmmm!" He was stuffing his face with the delicious Debbie cake.

"Joshua! What did I tell you about eating the products before paying?" You both turn around  to see the store owner, Mr. Jones standing at the end of the aisle with a broom in hand. You cover your mouth to keep from laughing as you watch cream and crumbs fall from Josh's mouth.

"Sorry Mr. Jones." He smiles guiltily as he picks up three more of the delicious Debbie cakes.

"Smooth. Very smooth." You laugh as he goes into his back pocket and pulls out a $20 bill.

"Want anything?" You say nothing as you pick up a bag of Doritos. You turn and walk down the aisle with him and walk to the fridge to get a watermelonflavored Arizona.

"Thanks-" Your words cut off by him pulling you into a mind blowing kiss. This was your first kiss in a long time. Well, the first one doesn't really count. I mean it was in second grade.

You quickly pull away from him and slap the hell out of him.

"Ssss oooo damn. That's gotta hurt!" You hear Mr. Jones mumble behind you before sweeping off down the other aisle. Josh looks at you shocked while holding his cheek.

"What was that for? I thought we was vibin-"

"Boy you don't know me to me movin like that! What's wrong with you?" You say glaring at him and folding your arms. His cheeks flush red as he looks away embarrassed.

"Y-You're right, my bad lil mama."

".....At least ask me first." You say biting the corner of your lip. Now that you're getting a good look at him, he was looking fine as hell right now. He was decked out in a red and black jersey, durag on and not to mention he was iced out.  No wonder the girls went crazy, he was a looker. But then again you should know cause his daddy was fine too! Hell everybody in their family was.

He licks his lips as he approaches you, you getting a good smell of his cologne as he pushes you up against the fridge locking you in. Your heart began to pound a million times faster in your chest. You look up at the tall male as he grasps your chin gently.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes." You lock your lips with his and its like heaven. You can't help but wrap your arms around his neck pulling him closer. He tried slipping his tongue pass your lips but you pop his chest.

"Aight nie, don't y'all be back there hunchin! I know both y'all parents!"

Youtwo finally pullaway, hearing Mrs. Jones, Mr. Jones mother says as she pulled down her glasses and eyes you two suspiciously. You both can't help but laugh.

"Don't be getting greedy. You can't have all that."

"You gave me a taste and now I want the whole plate." He smirks biting the corner of his lip. "Hey would you like to join me for the movies tomorrow? 1408 just came out and my friends and brothers are bringing their girls. Maybe you'd like to be my plus one?" Your ears perk up.

"I don't know, it's a school night and-"

"Don't worry Cinderella, I'll have you home before the clock strikes 12." He smirks. You playfully hit his arm. His smile grows bigger and you can't resist.

"..Fine. I'll see if I can get my parents approval."

"Fair enough lil mama. Here's my phone." He takes out his sidekick phone and hands you his phone. You playfully roll your eyes and put your number in after handing him your phone.

"Let's head back, our parents are probably looking for us."

"Yeah you're right. Listen, I know we know who each other are because we go to school together. But I want to formally introduce myself, I'm Joshua Fatu." He extends his hand for you to shake.

"Y/n." You say softly as you give him a small smile.

~

"Y/n? Y/n? BAE! WHERE YOU AT?!" You're knocked out of your thoughts hearing your husband step into your bedroom. You were currently folding clothes when you were putting away his old red and black jersey with the #7. The same one he wore when y'all first met officially.

"Baby you good? I been calling you for the past ten minutes." He says walking over and wrapping his arms around you. You wrap your hands around his neck with a smile. Who knew you two would be together for more than a decade.

"Yes baby I'm fine, just going down memory lane." You grin holding up his jersey. He breaks into a smile.

"I still remember you slapping the hell out of me. Hurt a brotha pride."

"Whatever. You just knew you had me." You whisper against his lips.

"Of course. I love being yours and you being mine."

"I love you too."

"My lil headache. My smile. My frown. My right. My wrong. My pain. My happiness. My present. My future. My everything. I've given you my all. My heart and I don't want nobody else to have it. I love you Mrs. Fatu." He says kissing you with each word.

"I love you more."

#wwe smut #wwe bloodline #wwe x reader #jey uso fic #jey uso smut #jey uso x reader #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso imagine #main event jey uso #jey uso #jey uso x black reader #jey uso x black oc #wwe the usos #the usos

[veren-cos]

Bachelors (sdv) x reader on their period

Gender neutral, but purely because of the prompt, afab reader. I'd say everything I write is gender neutral besides the very rare Trans masc reader ☆

Not proofread and I wrote this in like 25 min- I'll update this when I'm less tired.

Harvey

• A literal doctor.

• Is not weirded out like at all. He is all like, "Oh okay! Do you need anything at all?" And moved on with life

• Maybe has a little blush when you first talk about it? It's a completely normal thing at work (and in life), but it's just because it's you that he wants to make sure he handles it well.

• Would probably get you chocolate. And a heating pad. And blankets. And all the things.

• Aka would just spoil you a bit more than normal, periods suck and he knows-

• If you had any like disorder involving you Period he would be extra on top of stuff.

• Will make sure you are well stocked on and properly take pain meds!

Elliott

• Would just absolutely spoil you!

• Runs a bath, gets chocolate, threw your pajamas in the dryer to get them extra warm, heating pad.

• Might give you a massage if they are super painful? Probably would do it regardless but he would definitely offer if he knew that got bad.

• Idk why he knows so much, maybe it's because of Leah? I don't really write about the bachelotettes, but I feel like she would be super open about it so that's why Elliott knows a lot.

• But yeah he'd be super good to you! Would make you food just because. He is great at spoiling people, but not actually great at knowing what to do physically haha. (I think I mentioned in a previous fic where he just makes you soup if your in pain, he would do that here too)

Shane

• So if I just take Shane as a standalone character I don't think he'd know a lot / want to know/ care.

• But!

• Jas. I'm not sure what age she is supposed to be (literally anywhere from 7-12 imo) but I feel like Shane would have read up on Period stuff in preparation.

• So he would actually be more informed than Elliott!

• Now onto the actual stuff lol-

• He wouldn't be super pamper-y like Elliott and Harvey, but he would definitely help around the house more.

• Animals are all taken care of, crops are all watered, took care of some weeds, etc.

• He would also probably be a bit more physically affectionate purely because he knows you like it.

• Might be a bit embarrassed about it at first but after the first one he gets the gist of what to do.

Alex

• Would be relatively informed just because he is a health nut, but also doesn't know what to do because the most important woman in his life is postmenopausal-

• Probably would just give you chocolate and hugs because he knows like. Emotional and cravings.

• If they were super bad he would ask his grandma for help!

• Wouldn't be embarrassed about it! Once again. Health nut. Gets you pain meds!

Sebastian

• Okay. So. Sebastian.

• Literally lives with 2 ladies. Both very strong confident women. He wouldn't be uninformed by any means, but he probably is still awkward around the topic lmao

• Like if you were complaining he would be like "...." "am I supposed to do something about that?"

• AND HE DIDNT MEAN IT IN A RUDE WAY he was genuinely asking. But he just doesn't know and also is an awkward guy?

• Would do the least out of all the Bachelor's. Maybe just be more emotionally available because Period mood swings be rough. Makes more time to talk about things with you.

• Grabs you ibuprofen or Tylenol, whatever you have in the house.

Sam

• So Sam lives with a kind of coddling mom, does not have sisters, so like. His mom wouldn't talk to him about it. He has no 'personal' experience with it.

• Would be the most clueless-

• But he would definitely be like, "oh babe that sucks let me know what I can do"

• Gives you more cuddles, helps on the farm.

• Super enthusiastic about making you comfortable! He makes it into a way bigger deal than it is but he is genuinely curious about stuff so you think it's cute.

• After your first one when your together he is much better prepared / informed so he isn't all over the place.

• Just very cute and well meaning.

An* I hope this was at least a little cute / silly / comforting / whateveryouwantedoutofthis! I base everything off of personal experience because, like, it's all I got- but more people should be comfortable talking about this! It's completely normal and just a basic human function. So if yours is different than what others describe, that's okay! If yours is exactly the same, also okay! Idk where I'm going with this, but there is no shame in having a period, and that's on that!

This also came off way more dramatic than I meant it to be, but I live for the drama so it's okay (this applies to both the fic and the author's note-)

Masterlist

#sdv #sdv elliott #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv x reader #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv alex #x reader #stardew sam #stardew alex #stardew shane #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley #stardew harvey #stardew sebastian #stardew elliott #reader on period #period fic #fanfiction

[beybuniki]

I think the dissonance between you and the anons comes from the fact that you do see shipping potential with other characters their age but not bkdk, if that makes sense? Like you can see other pairings through a shipping lens so why not bkdk also (I’m not saying you have to, I’m just assuming people see it as a double standards of sorts)

which i would understand if i hadn't stated multiple times that i am not rejecting any romantic reading at all whatsoever, so i don't know why people act like i am, especially when i retweet ship fan art occasionally like why is this so serious to some people help

but to spell it out, i do not enjoy throwing bakugo and deku into silly ship scenarios as easily as i do in other constellations because their canon relationship is more complex and my opinions on their dynamic are more nuanced and deeper than my opinions on their friendships with other characters. the implications of 17yo bakugo asking deku out on a date differ from the implications of someone like rody asking deku on a date and i don't rlly feel like ignoring that.

i do think that deku had a crush on bakugo as a kid and he does carry some of that into their teenage years and makes everything more complicated like i am not denying that, which is why im confused by people who accuse me of having a double standard when my own interpretation and fan art more often than not hinges on this assumption. just because i don't see bakugo recognize or reciprotate any of that does not mean they can't have that one day, throwing them into that as teens just goes against the reading that i'm very commited like it's not that easy (the love thing), or i wouldn't want it to be that easy it doesn't feel right to me

some people do and i like and respect those readings, i wouldn't share their art/thoughts or do those requests otherwise lmao

#like i get it but again #i have repeated myself multiple times it sgetting embarrassing sorry to everyone who doesnt give a fuck #i need bakugo to learn how to be a kind person first like sorry but he hurt deku way too much i can't let him hurt deku again!! romanticall #beybunaski #i think that if i had to put them in a romantic dynamic as teens there would be so much hurt like there's so much to unpack and maybe #resentment would surface unexpectedly and they'd be at each other's throats and such #like it owuld notttt be fluffy uwu yaoi sorry isxnskjnxx #my deku is still very affectionate and forces bakugo into hugs tho and bakugo accepts those ugh i love that

[thezombieprostitute]

"See how he reacts to the silent treatment."

Girl you're just asking for a death sentence!!! 😂😵‍💫 Rip to you lmao

A/N: this was entirely written on my phone. Reader is gender neutral, no physical descriptions.

Warnings: angst? Let me know if I missed any!

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

The house is unusually quiet and not just because you were giving Lloyd the silent treatment. You'd warned him that the last slice of cheesecake was for you. You'd set it aside specifically as a reward for your day of unending meetings.

When you had gotten home, exhausted, the one treat you'd been looking forward to was gone. You found the plate in the sink with the telltale crumbs. Confronting Lloyd led to him grinning as he confessed, "what are you gonna do about it, Pumpkin?"

Clearly he was expecting something along the lines of you smacking his ass or exchanging orgasms for forgiveness but you were exhausted and angry. So instead of responding you storm off to change into pajamas and go to bed. He pesters you the entire time but you maintain your silence, ignoring him the best you can.

As you lay down and try to sleep Lloyd goes to cuddle and you push him away. He tries all of his go-to moves and phrases but eventually you get up and go to sleep on the couch.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Lloyd scoffs as you lay down, back to him. "It was just a slice of cheesecake!"

He changes tactics to make you lash out at him. As much as he's stoking the flames of your ire, you're aware enough to realize what you're doing is working. It helps you to keep ignoring him.

Eventually he huffs and backs off, letting you get some actual sleep.

When you wake up the next morning, a little sore from the couch, it's eerily quiet. From the looks of things Lloyd's already gone to work. No kiss goodbye or anything. You feel bad but damnit, you're stubborn enough to keep this up until he apologizes.

You arrive at your office and there are several bouquets of your favorite flowers. You don't need to check the cards to know who they're from. None of the cards contain an apology so you pass out the bouquets to some of your workers who you know will appreciate them.

Around lunchtime good gets delivered to your office. Again, no apology note so, again, you give the food to your employees.

You're genuinely not surprised when, after work, you find your car missing. In its place is Lloyd in his car. You briefly contemplate calling an Uber but you do genuinely feel safer taking the ride from Lloyd and get into the passenger seat.

He makes several attempts to get you to talk, his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the wheel. He says several things but none of them are an apology so you continue to give him the silent treatment.

By the time you get home he's fully tense with rage. As soon as the door is unlocked you get out of the car and head inside. There's a veritable feast waiting for you in the dining room. Lloyd must've spent the whole day cooking for you. Again, you feel a little bad, but he still hasn't apologized so you grab a bowl of cereal to eat for dinner.

"Oh come on, Pumpkin," Lloyd yells at you. "It was just a slice of cheesecake! You're really gonna pass off all of the shit I've been getting you for a slice of cheesecake?!"

You ignore him and continue eating your cereal.

"You're killing me here! What do you want? You want an apology? I'm fucking sorry I ate the cheesecake--"

Before he can say anything else you stand up and give a dramatic, "oh thank God!" You march over to him, grab his face and pull him in for a kiss. You can't see his eyebrows raise when you go so far as to shove your tongue into his mouth.

When you break the kiss you smack his ass, "do you have any idea how much I missed you?" You spank him again. "How much I wanted to thank you for the flowers and food?" Another smack. "How difficult it was to get to sleep without cuddles? I fucking missed you, Lloyd!"

He looks at you, torn between being dumbfounded and being turned on by your attitude, stubbornness and arm strength.

"Thank you for finally apologizing," you tell him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna pig out on this feast that I know will be delectable because you're the best damn cook I know." You give him another kiss.

As you turn to get a plate Lloyd grabs you and spins you towards him. "You think you can just do that and walk away from me? I'm already half hard!"

"Then I guess I'll have to moan even louder than usual as I eat and get you fully erect."

As you walk away you hear Lloyd mumble, "fuck I love you."

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Tagging @alicedopey and @icefrozendeadlyqueen because I promised I would.

#zombie asks #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x gn!reader

[dungeonmastersconsortium]

Lmao someone tried to reply to my own post telling me that Palestine (only a day old according to them) is the one trying to colonize Israel, and when I told them to shut the fuck up, they immediately blocked me. (Best possible outcome.) Their whole blog is full of nothing but Israeli propaganda.

I know they were following me, so lemme be clear:

Fuck Israel. There is no two state solution. Israel is an illegal colonialist nation whose imposed sovereignty was stolen with blood and continues to bathe unapologetically in the blood of Palestinians, and its continued presence in Palestine is an abomination.

If you support Israel in any way, fuck you too.

Come at me if you want, unfollow me if you want, I don't care. Fuck Israel.

[derangedanomaly]

I just thought of a fun situation. Undertale, horror and Underswap sanses arriving home and hearing their s/o sing out loud. I wonder how they would react :)

MASTERLIST

CLASSIC, HORROR, SWAP HEARING THEIR S/O SING OUT LOUD (separate)

CLASSIC:

He thinks it's funny.

The situation I mean.

He just went into your shared bedroom, with the plan to sleep on the bed, but was abruptly stopped by seeing you standing on top of your bed, brush in your hand, using it like a microphone, all while singing your heart out.

It's moments like this that remind him why exactly he loves you.

His smile just got more brighter than anything.

He'd probably even join you in the singing! He'd acquire himself with a brush too, and join your side!

Which took you by surprise, since you didn't know he was there. 💀

His singing is gonna be pretty lazy though, knowing him. So it'd probably end up with him laying on the bed, just watching you sing.

He's seriously so in love with you, it's crazy 😭

He's probably gonna expose you in front of your friends tomorrow though. Just for shits and giggles. (Alphys would probably want to sing Anime songs with you)

SWAP

Swap just wanted to put the cleaned clothes in your wardrobe, but was startled by your loud singing.

He would've blinked a few times, until finally laughing at the display. Which got you out of your imaginary concert.

He laughed even louder when your face got red from embarrassment.

He thinks you're cute! Just wants to squish your cheeks.

He would suggest a duet! Only If you want to of course.

You'd sound really good together probably.

He'd make it his favorite activity with you! Singing!

Definitely will boost about how good you two sound together!

HORROR:

He went to check up on you, but found you singing your heart out.

He tilts his head, his cheeks getting red.

He finds your unawareness cute. You don't even know he's silently watching you from the side.

Hearts all around him lmao.

Probably wouldn't want to particularly join you, but would definitely watch you sing.

It makes his heart swell.

He likes when you're in your own element, so don't even think about stopping because of him! He'd just nudge the brush back in your hand, nudging you to sing.

It'd be your own personal concert to be honest.

#undertale #undertale fandom #sans undertale #sans x reader #horror sans x reader #swap sans x reader #utmv x reader