#i began to understand why god died is such a fucked line

[emptydasaniwaterbottle]

look i havent actually been in a twenty one pilots phase since 2016 but dear god sometimes you just need to listen to a car, a torch, a death

#twenty one pilots #emo music #emo #punk #tyler joseph #josh dunn #it just hits different #like FUCK bro #i began to understand why god died is such a fucked line

[maximoff-pan]

you, me, and the destruction | eddie munson

summary: 4 times eddie makes you want to die (metaphorically of course) and one time he makes you want to live

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 7k

warning(s): some swears, angst, mentions of death, definitely canon divergent (please don't come for me)

a/n: another 4 + 1, who could’ve guessed? I really, really struggled with this one, but I haven't written or posted a ton lately, so I thought why not... I do hope you enjoy, but I apologize because I know this will likely be difficult to follow along with/make no sense whatsoever, so if you make it through to the end, thank you!

Eddie Munson makes you want to die. 

Not like a funny and jokingly crude ‘ha ha you make me wanna hurl myself into the sun’ kinda die, but like a dead serious ‘if you don’t shut up I’m going to commit mass murder and it’s going to be your fault’ kinda die. He’s that irritating. (You say that both seriously and affectionately, because your opinion of him has certainly changed over the last little while)...

But it’s an interesting concept to consider when you break it down, just how aggravating he can be. Sometimes you wonder where he gets it from; who could have possibly created this freak? And then you remember who his friends are, and it all makes sense. 

Blood didn’t create him, they did. Although quite frankly, it was entirely mutual; they created each other. A mass of freaks fighting imaginary monsters.

Until one day, those monsters weren’t imaginary. And one day, you found yourself at Eddie Munson’s mercy. 

...It’s safe to say you’d known about the Upside Down for as long as the rest of your friends had, you’d been in on the insanity since the beginning. So, as you’d expect, it’s pretty hard to surprise you with anything. But when Eddie got accused of murder, and was dragged into the shit storm you call your life (again), he took it immensely well. Almost too well for someone whose livelihood was on the line. 

“You’re so fucking weird.” You’d said to him in disbelief and he’d smiled. 

“Pot, kettle.” He’d gestured to himself, and then to you with a grin. 

Those had been the first words you’d spoken to him since you’d been close friends a couple of years ago. It was also the first moment the ice started to melt between you and the first moment you'd allowed yourself to think about what you used to be.

The next moment followed shortly after. A trip through the Upside Down does that to you, creates bonds with the people you’d least expect. And as irritating as he was, that’s what you became: irrevocably bonded. Although, you’d still have your fair share of disagreements to come. 

The moment it all began to change is something you’ll never forget. It started off innocent; you’d thrown an effortless joke in the air trying to brighten the atmosphere of the group, when all of a sudden, you felt a sharp pain in your right shoulder. 

You recall turning to Steve in shock the second after Eddie had saved you from a group of demobats, completely gobsmacked. He’d just fucking jumped in front of you, no questions asked, with no regard whatsoever for his own well being. 

Fuck. You remember thinking. You were not about to be indebted to Eddie Munson. Not devastatingly ethereal Eddie Munson. Not your childhood-best-friend-turned-virtual-stranger Eddie Munson. But by God did you owe him your life. 

Once over the initial panic, even Steve had cracked up over the look on your face, not used to seeing you unsure of what to do. So, he did what he thought was best, nudging you with a blunt shove towards the man in question. 

“You're welcome.” Eddie had mumbled with a pouting huff. “‘S’not like I could’ve just died doing that or anything.” In your state, you’d been too stunned to say anything, let alone thank him. But you could understand where he was coming from. 

And it was cute, the way he grumbled, feeling underappreciated for his act of bravery. You’d managed to put aside your past differences, and your ultimate shock – because who knew Eddie had that in him – to eventually give him a solid pat on the back. Like a good, new, old friend(?) would. 

It was a weird feeling to get used to, you’d thought. ‘Hey man, thanks a million for saving my life and all…it’s not like I totally thought you hated me two minutes ago???’ 

You’d managed something a little more mature than that, approaching him with an edge of nervousness. Since when had he ever made you feel nervous? 

“I am grateful you know.” You’d surprised yourself with the sincerity that seeped from your tone. “You’re pretty cool Munson…much cooler than anyone gives you credit for.”

You could’ve sworn you’d seen him blush. And it was his turn to sheepishly admit your kindness meant something to him. You used to be everything to him after all, even if you had only been dumb teens. 

He’d rubbed at the back of his neck with a soft upturn of his lips. “Thanks.”

That was the day your relationship with Eddie started to become something again, not just acknowledgements of preconceived notions that you’d had about each other previously. But something real. Although, it didn’t change the fact that he was both entirely aggravating and also made you want to die sometimes. 

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT A of Why Eddie Makes You Want to Die:

He just has to be right, all the time, even if it means crossing boundaries and using whatever leverage he has on you (but it’s all to protect you, so that makes it okay, right?)

“No.” Eddie cuts you off. “I won’t even consider that.”

“Eddie.” Steve sighs. He doesn’t like this plan either, but it’s the only one that makes sense. “She should be the one to go.”

“No.” He repeats. This time more adamant. He’s not about to let you walk into Creel House alone, especially not after what happened to Chrissy. 

“It’s the only way.” You try to reason, but he’s not having any of it. You roll your eyes at his bravado; who the hell does he think he is?

You feel like Eddie’s eyes are burning holes through your body, if they could widen any further you’re sure they’d pop right out of his skull. “I’m not gonna let you put yourself in danger like that…no way.”

You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. “You’ve been back in my life all of a couple of days, and now you want to act like you have some kind of say?” 

Ouch. He recoils at the statement. Maybe you both had more to resolve than you’d thought.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, tone edging on anger.

“I’m not the one who walked out of your life Eddie.” You say, and from beside you, you can see the grimace that has made its way onto Steve’s face. He’s the only other person who knows the extent of your history. Everyone else simply has the cliff notes.

“That’s not fair and you know it.” Eddie bites back.

“Not fair?” You want to scream at him so badly, tear him a fucking new one. “Christ! You don’t see me telling you what you can and cannot do, especially considering you seem to love putting yourself in danger.”

“I saved your life!” He exclaims. “Remember that? Or was that too idiotic for you?”

And he’s right, he has you there. It’s infuriating… Even when he’s wrong, he’s right. 

“I never asked you to do that.” It’s unappreciative, sure, but it’s the only thing you can think to say in your state of frustration. 

“Fine.” He relents. “You’re right.”

Your brows pull together in discomfort. “That’s not—Eddie—”

“No.” He stops you, eyes daring you to overstep. “You’re right. I didn’t save you because you wanted me to, or because you needed someone to protect you. I saved you because I wanted to. Because I fucking need you! Is that what you wanna hear?” His voice breaks the louder it gets, and you’re stunned. It feels like things escalated so quickly, and yet you know it’s been building for years. 

“Even after all this time…” he continues, the crack in his armor growing with each second, “because I’m selfish, and I couldn’t just watch you die. Not like her.”

Realization dawns on you. You’d forgotten all about it; how he’d watched Chrissy die. Survivor’s guilt is written all over his face, he’s begging for some kind of relief from it. And despite your differences, he still cares about you more than you can understand.

He’s right. Again. 

He may have leveraged saving your life to prove it, but that doesn’t reverse what he did to protect you. 

“I’m sorry.” He says. It comes out pained, nearly a whisper. “If I could go back…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but you know. You nod at him, a representation of a silent acknowledgment and acceptance of his apology, and an agreement to work on whatever this is. Whatever it may become. 

And in that moment, it’s the heartbroken look in his gaze that has you feeling so shitty. Like death had whipped out a pitchfork and stabbed you in the back.

Eddie Munson has much more control over you than you’d once thought, even more so now that he’s seemingly back in your life for the long haul. Because if you’re sure of anything, it’s that he’s not going to let you go. Not after what you’ve just been through.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT B of Why Eddie Munson Makes You Want to Die:

He makes stupid assumptions without thinking them through, especially when it comes to your friendship (but you do too, so that makes it okay right?)

If someone had told you one month ago that Eddie would walk back into your life, you would have laughed them out of Hawkins. 

The way your friendship had ended the first time had left things tense between you, and you weren’t sure if there was anything left to be salvaged. But after surviving what you had in the summer of ‘86 baby, as Eddie had called it, you’d promised to try and make it work.

So you did. As of now, you’ve spent the last number of weeks hanging out with your collective group of world saving friends, bonding over shared trauma and all the things that come with it. And that includes repairing your relationship Eddie. As hard as that has been.

Because while you know he’s genuine, and he wants to be on good terms as much as you do, it’s not easy to forgive and forget. 

But despite your fears, you’ve started spending time together one on one, no one else there to buffer the tension. Dustin had recommended it, a weekly movie night to get you more comfortable with each other, and to hopefully hash things out properly. In the interest of friendship, Henderson had quipped, because even he could see there were things between you that had been left unsaid. 

And while there are moments here and there where you want to throw yourself out your bedroom window because Eddie is being so fucking insufferable, or you want to build a wall of protection around yourself again because you’re afraid of what trusting him will do to you, there are also moments where you remember just how much you once loved him. 

This, tonight, is not one of those moments. 

“Can we talk?” Eddie clicks the pause button on the remote, leaving Marty McFly’s incredulous expression and his famous ‘“Wait a minute, Doc. Are you telling me you built a time machine…”’ frozen in a motionless frame.

It feels ominous, but you don’t verbally object. “Okay.” You nod, although it’s dark, so you’re not sure he can see you. You’re almost hoping he can’t.

He releases a sigh, something that sounds like he’s been holding onto it for a long time. “I wanna talk about how things ended between us.” He says as he reaches over to flick on the lamp in your living room. 

“We can do that.” Apprehension is floating in the cadence of your tone. Things were just starting to become normal again…it feels like a bit of a risk to dig up your past like this. Not that you have much of a choice in the matter. 

You’re more than aware that Eddie’s been eager to talk about it. It’s you who’s been avoiding this for weeks, despite knowing how inevitable and needed this conversation is. You just don’t want to ruin the trust you’ve been rebuilding. 

“Where do you want to start?” You pose, giving him control of the situation.

“I guess,” he fiddles with the rings on his fingers, “I want to start by apologizing again.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You protest. Since he’s been back, he’s done nothing but apologize a million times over. And the more he does, the more feelings it stirs up. 

“No, I do.” He states. “I’m sorry. I never should have done that to you. I never should have shut you out like that.”

His eyes hold so much sincerity, it almost makes you want to cry. “It’s uh–” you struggle to get the words out. You don’t want to relive it, nor do you want to admit the part you played in it. Because it’s much easier to make him the villain than to implicate yourself in this web of chaos you’ve spun yourself.

Though, it’s time for you to admit your responsibility. A friendship doesn’t end just because of one person. You gave up too, as difficult as that is to admit. “It’s not your fault.” You say sadly. “I know it seems like I put all the blame on you for what happened to us, but I’m just as responsible as you.”

Eddie smiles sadly in remembrance. He’s pretty sure he knows where you’re going with this. “If you’re going to apologize for not coming to my band’s first concert when you were sixteen, that’s so not something you need to apologize for. Honestly, that’s not even why I was mad.”

At the time he had been pretty pissed, so he can see why you’d be worried about it, though you needn’t be.

Your lips purse in thought. “I’ve regretted that decision for three years. To me, that was the beginning of our end. And I was the one who started it.”

“(Y/n), c’mon.” He shakes his head. “You can’t blame yourself for that. It had nothing to do with anything.” It really didn’t. The root of your problems was much bigger, and much darker. 

You puff out a strangled breath of air, tone dead serious.“But I deserve to.” You state. “I was a pretty horrible friend to you. You’d been talking about that show for weeks, and I wasn’t there to support you, especially after all the times you’d been there for me.” 

Especially after I saw what hides in the shadows, and I changed. The thought sits on the edge of your tongue, another one left unsaid. 

A softness rests on his face as he reaches over to place a comforting hand on your arm. He picks up on your implication. “If I knew what you were going through, I could have been there for you more. Instead, I abandoned you, all because of some stupid misunderstanding.”

The look of confusion that crosses your face is unmistakable. “I’m not sure I follow.” You genuinely thought that concert had been the catalyst.  

He tilts his head with a grimace. “Steve didn’t tell you?”

Eyebrows raised in curiosity, you tread carefully. “Harrington’s told me nothing. I couldn’t be any more clueless.” 

“Oh.” Eddie sighs. “I thought for sure you knew about it.”

You shake your head, jaw clenched. “No.” You pull back your hand from his touch, turning to sit cross-legged on your couch. “But I'm getting the feeling I'm missing something pretty big..." You meet his gaze sharply. "Is Steve the reason you stopped being my friend?”

Eddie’s eyes widen. You sound so serious it almost scares him. “No.” He’s quick to say. “Not exactly.”

“So he is involved?”

“Sort of.” He utters trying to backtrack. “It’s stupid now that I think about it.”

Your gaze narrows. “Eddie. If it was enough to end our friendship, it wasn’t stupid.”

The air in the room feels like it’s thickening with every breath you take. What could Steve have possibly done to influence him? 

“You can tell me Ed.” Your voice is firm but comforting. “I promise I won’t get mad.”

He swallows the lump in his throat, a little apprehensive, but abides by your request. “It was on a Tuesday in December — I remember because of how cold it was, and because of everything that was happening with Will, after he’d seemingly come back from the dead  — and I heard you and Harrington talking.”

You nod, following along. “I remember that day too.” Your voice is laced with sadness. That was the day your friendship started to crumble. 

“I hated him back then. So much so, I almost wanted to kill the guy.” He asserts. “And then I saw you with him, how comfortable you were with each other, and I couldn’t believe you could even be around him like that after everything he’d put us through.” 

“Oh, Eddie.” You say. Steve had never done much directly to hurt you, but he’d also never stopped his friends from inflicting their cruelty. He was a bystander to the pain they caused, with the power to end it all. And that made Eddie despise him.

He smiles sadly. “I remember Steve telling you that you could never say anything about it to me.” He places the ‘it’ in air quotes. “I didn’t have the context I do now, but he was so serious about it. I figured you were dating or something and he didn’t want me to find out about it, because he knew–”

He knew how I felt about you. He wants to say, but doesn’t. 

“And the way he hugged you. I felt sick.” Eddie continues. “I couldn’t understand it. And then after that day, you started pulling away from me…I know now it was because you were trying to protect me from everything, but back then,” he pauses for a moment. “I thought it was my fault.”

“Oh, God.” You feel like you’re going to cry. Hearing his side of the story is like putting all the pieces of a thousand piece puzzle together for the first time. “It was never your fault Eddie. You have to know that.”

He nods slowly in understanding. It’s crazy what hindsight can do. “I knew you were hiding something, I just didn’t know it was that big. And so, like an idiot, I let Jeff convince me you were just like everyone else…” He stops for a moment to collect his breath. A tear escapes; you watch as it rolls down his cheek. “And then I cut you off.”

“Hey.” You reach for him, pulling him gently into a hug. You snake your arms around his back, letting his head rest on your shoulder as you hear him begin to cry. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” You soothe. “We’re okay.”

This isn’t the first time you’ve seen Eddie cry, but it certainly hurts the most. Despite everything you’d put each other through, you’d never want him to feel this way. 

“I’ve got you.” You murmur softly. “Always and forever, yeah?” 

Your utterance of the promise you had made to each other as little kids stirs something in his chest. You’d promised to always be friends. 

He lets out a half chuckle, half sob as he pulls himself back to meet your gaze. Your eyes search his; they’re filled with so much worry and so much love, Eddie feels whole. 

“Always and forever.” He whispers. 

And maybe this can be the start of a new beginning. A new kind of trust that is undeniably raw, but stronger than it has ever been. 

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT C of Why Eddie Munson Makes You Want to Die: 

He makes your heart stop at the strangest of moments (but you want him to, so that makes it okay right?)

“You’ve gotta be kidding me Harrington.” The sound of Eddie’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, and has you abandoning your assigned task of reshelving all of Family Video’s recently returned movies.

It’s been a couple months since you’d finally talked about everything, and honestly, things have been much better since. You’d gotten a job working with Robin and Steve, and weekly movie nights with Eddie have been going strong. Sometimes you just talk, and it’s really nice. 

“Sorry man.” Steve’s tone is anything but sorry. He’s leaning against the front till, an exasperated Eddie waiting on the other side. “I couldn’t hold onto it for you. Keith has been on my ass about not withholding the merchandise from customers just because my friends wanna see ‘em.”

“What’s this about?” You step into the conversation out of curiosity.

Robin chuckles. “Eddie’s been trying to get a copy of Top Gun again.”

“For weeks! I’ve been asking for weeks!” Eddie groans. “But Harrington’s butter fingers keep letting it slip from my grasp.” 

You smile at the remark. Your friendship with Steve has managed to stay intact, despite your discovery of his involvement in ending your relationship with Eddie. The night of your big breakthrough, you’d later found out that Steve had told Eddie to keep his distance from you, ‘if you know what’s good for you Munson’, Steve had threatened him…which when you’d found out, it had you seeing red. Eddie had assured you that Steve was only looking out for you, but at the time, it had been quite difficult for him to understand. 

Unbeknownst to Steve though, you’ve both forgiven him. ‘He doesn’t even need to know.’ You’d agreed. It was better to keep him in the dark than to create problems where they didn’t need to exist. 

“Hey, I’m just following orders.” Steve feigns innocence, arms raised in defense.

“Since when have you ever followed orders?” Robin questions, surprised. 

Fingers tapping the counter in amusement, you smirk. “Since he scored a date with some hot blonde who works at the arcade –who’s totally smokin’ by the way, nice job –” you send Steve a smug nod, “and he needs the money to take her out.”

“Ergo,” Steve muses, “I can’t afford to get fired.” 

“Pathetic.” Eddie tuts. “I can’t believe you’re doing this all for some girl.” He winks at you in amusement and you stifle a laugh. 

Steve’s honey orbs catch yours for a moment before he speaks, “Like (Y/n) said, this girl happens to be totally smokin’—way outta my league—and I’m not about to get myself fired and lose my only source of income just so you can hoard Top Gun from the rest of Hawkins.”

“Hoard?” Eddie’s voice is on the verge of being shrill. “I haven’t even seen the movie once!”

“Oh, well in that case…” Steve trails sarcastically. At Eddie’s dejected gaze he relents, “I am sorry though, truly.” He’s not even a little sorry.

“No no, I get it. I just thought our friendship meant more to you.” Eddie mocks pure disappointment. “I guess I was wrong.”

He almost pulled the ‘after everything we’ve been through’ card, but decided against it. Eddie’s saving that for when he really needs it. 

You snicker at the interaction, adding fuel to the fire, “Whatever happened to the sanctity of bros before hoes Harrington?” 

“Ah, my dear (Y/n). Clearly Steve here has lost any semblance of loyalty to the bro code.” Robin chimes in. “He’s got babes on the brain.” She wiggles her fingers mockingly. 

“How tragic.” Is your response. 

Steve scoffs at the remark, unimpressed. “Hey, it’s not like I’m the only one that works here.” He says. “If you were smarter,” he directs to Eddie, “you’d have asked either of them to put their neck out on the line to hold onto it for you.”

“We are more reliable.” You agree.

Robin grins. “And I don’t need this job that bad.” She states teasingly. “Plus, I fucking hate Keith, so even if I did need this job, I’d risk it to piss him off…”

Eddie laments adamantly. “You jest, but this is a big deal!” 

And it almost makes you laugh how serious he is about it, because the rest of you couldn’t give a damn about the ability to get your hands on Top Gun. Sure, it’s a good movie, and sure, you’d be happy to watch it again, but you’re not that eager. If he’d wanted to watch it that badly, he probably should have just asked. 

It’s not like you work in the movie store or anything…quite honestly, you’d swiped a copy off of Keith a few weeks ago and had forgotten to bring it back. Eddie could have watched the movie twenty times over if he’d bothered to say anything to you. 

In amusement of that fact, this is the moment you decide to reveal the information that could have ended this conversation minutes ago. 

“Would this be a bad time to tell you that I have a copy of the movie at home?”

“You–what?” Eddie exclaims, eyes wide in your direction. He places a hand on your arm without any thought, turning you towards him abruptly. “Jesus Christ woman, you could’ve led with that!” 

His eyes meet yours and all time seems to stop. As your breath catches in your throat, you feel like you’re going to die (maybe that’s a little dramatic, but it feels true in the moment). You’d wanted to quip back with something witty, but you can’t find the words, losing yourself in the pool of his amber orbs. There’s a fluttering in your stomach that won’t go away, daring to grow.

And you sigh. Since when had Eddie been so pretty? Since when had he ever made you feel like this? Fuck, you beg with your conscious, please say something, anything…You can’t be falling for him, this cannot be happening. 

Robin giggles at the interaction (and she never giggles). This has been the most fun she’s had in a while, watching your usually calm demeanor fall apart. “Where’s the fun in that?” She poses in your defense, finally breaking the silence. 

Steve snickers with her, standing with his hands on his hips, unfazed by your sudden muteness. He’d predicted you’d fall victim to Eddie’s charm sooner or later. He’s just happy he’s getting to watch it happen. 

“Y’alright?” Eddie asks, grin so wide and so cheeky that you’d swear he could read your mind. He knows. He fucking knows. “You kinda zoned out there for a second.”

You blink in surprise, trying to bring yourself back into focus. “Yeah.” But you don’t sound convinced, and neither are your friends. “Yeah I’m fine. ‘Was just a little surprised by the outburst.”

“Oh.” He rubs the side of your arm in apology.

“Yeah.” You mumble. The tension in the room has seemingly skyrocketed. You’re not sure if he feels it, but you definitely do. Even Steve and Robin, who are watching silently from the counter, feel it building. It’s awkward, and overtly palpable. But it’s also really sweet. 

“So,” Eddie asks, pulling his hand back from rubbing your arm. He reaches it back to rub at his own neck in nervousness. “Top Gun on Friday?” 

You nod, a breathy “yeah” escapes your lips. It seems to be the only word you can manage.

Something’s obviously just happened between you, (at least for you), and it’s something you’d rather not admit. In this moment, you’d like nothing more than to curl into a ball and simply pass away from embarrassment. 

All because of Eddie Munson. 

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT D of Why Eddie Munson Makes You Want to Die:

He has the ability to break your heart (but you’re dumb enough to let him, so that makes it okay right?)

Wednesday rolls around, then Thursday, and now you’ve reached Friday. You haven’t spoken to Eddie since your shift on Tuesday, your plans to watch Top Gun are supposedly still a go. But you’re honestly not sure. 

You haven't gone this long without talking to him since you’d stopped talking altogether three years ago. And that makes you a little nervous. 

“(Y/n).” Dustin groans, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’ve got to stop worrying about this.”

You pace through your kitchen, opening the oven door after shutting off the beeping timer. Pulling out a tray of chocolate chip cookies, you slide them onto the counter. “I can’t.” You admit to the teen. 

He’s just watched you stress bake for the last two hours, and it’s safe to say you almost have enough cookies to feed the entire town. 

“Take a breath.” He says, grabbing one of the fresh cookies from the tray. “Shit.” He hisses as it burns his hand. 

You swat it from his grasp, earning a quiet splat onto the floor. “Here.” You hand him one of the cooler batches…still warm enough to be gooey, but not hot enough to kill his taste buds. 

“Thanks.” He smiles sheepishly. Mouth full he mutters, “He’s gonna be here.”

“How can you be so sure?” You ask, your jaw clenched in apprehension. “I haven’t talked to him since Tuesday and I feel like he’s been avoiding me.”

“I know Eddie better than most.” Dustin licks some of the remaining chocolate off his fingers. “You’re his best friend, who he obviously has feelings for. He’s probably just overthinking things like always.”

You totally gloss over the Eddie having feelings for you part – you’re not about to open that can of worms – and skip straight to seeking reassurance. “Yeah?”

“I’m positive.” Dustin asserts. 

You inhale slowly, exhaling a quick puff of air. “Yeah.” You respond, voice trailing slightly. “I’m sure you’re right.”

A silence floats between you as the curly haired boy grabs another cookie and wolfs it down. He smiles at you in thanks. You follow his lead, taking one for yourself and relishing in the comfort the taste brings you. It feels like home. 

“He used to talk about you all the time.” Dustin cuts in abruptly, cookie long gone. You swallow a bite of yours in surprise. 

“What do you mean?” You question, brows furrowed.

He elaborates, “Before he got dragged into everything and you weren’t even speaking, Eddie would talk to me and Mike, telling us about the importance of friendship, how you can’t let the people you care about go.” He pauses thinking back on the memory. “After a few minutes, I gathered he was talking about you. I mean, I knew you used to be friends, but I didn’t know just how much you cared about each other. It sounded like he was talking about the love of his life, someone who he’d thought he’d let get away and he was punishing himself for it.”

“C’mon Dustin.” You protest. “We’re friends. Friends care about each other.”

“Not like that.” He scoffs. “You’re always checking up on each other, and the fucking doting,” he states with a groan. “It’s almost sickening how you two can be in a room full of people and act like you’re the only ones there.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, suddenly very self conscious. “Am I really that obvious about it?” 

“Totally.” His grin is wide. He sounds excited talking about you and Eddie, like he’s somehow invested in the outcome. And you suppose he is. 

When you had first met Dustin, officially and not just in passing, he had been pretty adamant on setting you up with Steve. It makes you laugh to think about it now…you and Harrington? God no. But when Dustin saw you interact with Eddie, he witnessed real human chemistry for the first time. Your history was undeniable. And even though the tension had been so palpable he could hardly breathe, he knew you’d found your perfect match. Again. Eddie had just so happened to stumble back into your trauma-filled dumpster fire of a life when you needed him most. 

The memory fades as you catch each other’s gaze. And the next thing out of Dustin’s mouth catches you completely off guard. 

“Steve told me on Tuesday, he thought you were going to jump each other’s bones on the Family Video returns table.”

You almost choke on the cookie you had just been chewing. “He said what?!” The look on your face is incredulous. “Steve really shouldn’t be talking to you about things like that.”

“Relax.” He puffs out his chest. “I’m fifteen and I have a girlfriend. You can’t seriously think I’m that naive.”

“I guess.” You secede, still thinking of him as the little kid you and Steve fought demogorgons with at the abandoned junkyard. “But anything Steve told you is bullshit — nothing of that sort happened, it was only a moment.”

“A momentary eye fuck you mean.”

You shake your head in mock disappointment. “Jesus Dustin, no.”

“Fine, fine.” He relents, arms raised in defense. “But if you want my honest opinion,” he says more seriously now. “I've seen Eddie with you in his life, and I’ve seen him without — trust me, he’s much happier when you’re around.”

Your gaze softens at his authenticity. “You really think so?” 

He nods. “Know so.”

Dustin’s right. Maybe you're just letting your insecurities get the better of you. Or maybe you have a right to be nervous. He’d walked out of your life once, what’s to stop him from doing it again?

It really doesn’t take much for you to realize the power Eddie has over you. If he wanted to, he could take your heart (which already so dangerously belongs to him), and shatter it into an insurmountable number of pieces. Quite honestly, that might be the most terrifying thing about having feelings this big. You’d barely survived losing him the last time, and that was before you’d even considered admitting there might be something more between you.  

You’re not sure what you’d do now, or if you’d even come out of it alive. Physically you’d likely be fine, but mentally and emotionally? You’d be better off dead. 

You’re caught by surprise when Dustin is suddenly nudging you, hissing at you – something about answering something – and your attention snaps to him. 

“(Y/n).” He waves, pointing towards the phone.

It rings on the wall beside you, breaking the flow of your vulnerable thought pattern. You reach over to pick it up, Dustin taking this as a chance to pop another cookie in his mouth. 

 “(L/n) residence.” You answer.

“Hey.” Eddie’s voice travels through the receiver. 

“Hi.” You respond, trying not to sound too excited. You don’t want to scare him away. 

From the other side, he smiles; he’d missed talking to you. After Tuesday, he’d struggled with whatever moment had happened between you. His mind couldn’t process the thought that maybe you felt the same as him and he needed time to think it all through.

“Sorry for not calling earlier.” He says. “I just wanted to make sure we’re still on for tonight?”

A grin creeps its way onto your face. Dustin stops himself from laughing at the look that’s adorning your features. “Of course!” You fiddle with the phone cord anxiously. “My place at 7?”

“Sounds good.” He murmurs. 

“Great, okay.” You reply. “See you then.”

“See ya.” He says.

You hang up the phone with the biggest sigh of relief. “Fuck.” You breathe. 

“I told you he’d be here.” Dustin’s grin is smug. Shit eating doesn’t even begin to cover it.

You agree begrudgingly. “You did. I promise not to doubt you next time.”

He chuckles. “I’ll be sure to remind you of that next time I do something incredibly stupid.”

“Very funny.” You grimace slightly, feeling like your heart is beating out of your chest.

Dustin notices quickly and eyes you in amusement, no concern whatsoever for your current state of being. “You okay?” He asks out of pure enjoyment.

“Yeah.” You smile, breathing slowly to try and slow your heartbeat. “Just, why does it feel like this? Talking to Eddie, it’s never been like this.”

Dustin laughs. “Because you’re in love with him. And now you know it.” 

Love feels like too strong a word, and simultaneously not strong enough.

“Shit…” You groan, dragging it out like your life depends on it. Your head falls into your hands and you swear you can feel the vainglorious pride radiating from Dustin’s direction. He’s so satisfied with himself it almost makes you laugh. 

Fuck that little shit. You hate that he’s right. You hate even more how defenseless this makes you. 

You can’t believe you’ve given Eddie the key to your heart. There was a time a few years ago where you had been sure it would happen. That was, before everything fell apart. Though you suppose, despite all the obstacles along the way, it was only a matter of time. 

It still shocks you nonetheless.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

+ 1

The end credits roll across your television screen, Tom Cruise and Top Gun the only ones you’re really able to pay attention to. You’d seen this movie before…it wasn’t like you really needed to watch out for anything. If you’re being honest, you had so much more to focus on.

Like the beginning of your night for instance…

Eddie had arrived perfectly on time with a bag of microwavable popcorn, and a shy greeting. There hadn’t been much talking since, apart from a couple apologies when your hands would graze while reaching into the bowl for a popcorn kernel or two. Or when you had to pause it so Eddie could go use the restroom. It was totally and utterly bizarre how quiet it had been, unlike any of your previous movie nights where you’d regularly quip stupid lines, mocking the characters back at each other.

Awkward doesn’t even begin to explain it. And the tension was so thick — what’s that saying? — you could cut it with a knife…You'd need a pretty sharp damn knife.

“So,” you start by flicking on the lamp beside you, hoping to relieve some of the stiffness in the room, “what’d you think? Was it as good as you were expecting?”

Truth be told, Eddie hadn’t paid attention to a single second. And for all the weeks he’d begged Steve for a copy of the movie, the second he got the chance to watch it, all he could focus on was you. 

“I wouldn’t know.” He answers honestly. “I can’t remember.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “But we just watched it.”

“I didn’t.” His voice is so soft, yet so serious. “Couldn’t focus.” He furthers. 

“Then what were you focusing on?” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t hoping he was thinking of you.

He shrugs, but you can tell there’s more to it. He’s trying to be nonchalant so you think he’s calmer than he actually is. 

“Us.” He nearly whispers. “You, me — whatever line we’re teetering on crossing. I can’t get it out of my head.”

His words strike a chord with you. “Neither can I.” You admit. “I’m uh, I’m sorry for making things awkward on Tuesday, I just, something felt—”

“Different.” He finishes for you. That’s the word you’d been looking for. 

“Yeah.” Is your quiet response. “Scary different,” you elaborate, “but good different.”

He hums in agreement. “So it wasn’t just me then?” He asks hopefully. “Because I was certain you’d finally realized how I felt about you and just didn’t know how to let me down easy.”

A delicate laugh bubbles from your throat. “When you touched me, my mind went into overdrive and all I could think about was how much I wished this could be all the time.” You tell him your perspective, and a smile grows on his face. “And it was terrifying, because I hadn’t had thoughts or feelings like that since…” You trail, but he knows exactly what you mean.

“I don’t think I ever stopped having feelings for you.”

That causes your heart to clench. 

“Can I kiss you?” You ask, taking Eddie by surprise. It’s not too sudden by any means, but he had always thought he’d be the one to make the first move, if it ever happened. 

But, he supposes, he should’ve expected it from you. You’d always been ten steps ahead of him.

He blinks, still in disbelief. “Please.” He mumbles. “Tell me this is real.”

You smile, scooting forward to place a soft slow kiss on his lips. “It’s real.” You murmur against him. “I promise.”

His breath is airy and light against your skin as he captures your lips in another kiss, this time needier. He’s been waiting for a moment like this for years, and he’s not about to let you slip out of his grasp. Your arms wrap around his shoulders as you begin playing gently with his hair. At the action, he shifts you inevitably closer, lips coming down to rest in the crook of your neck.  

“God, you have no idea what you do to me.” Eddie hums, pulling away to get a good look at your face. 

You look perfect, your eyes filled with wonderment, like a rose in first bloom. “If it’s anything like what you do to me,” your lips part effortlessly as you lean in to whisper in his ear, “then I have a pretty good idea.”

A shiver runs down Eddie’s spine. This feels like a dream, this has to be a dream. To further convince himself it’s not, he runs a hand down your cheek, eyes searching yours for any sense of regret or mistrust. 

He can’t find any, and neither can you. 

“I love you.” He lets it drift from his mouth with ease. It’s not the first time he’s told you he loves you, but it’s the first time he’s said it like this. 

“I love you too Eddie.” Being sure to add it, you quip teasingly, “forever and always.” A reassurance from your childhood.

He laughs at the remark. A true laugh, filled with a melodic tone and pure contentment. “Forever and always.” He repeats. 

As he pulls you into his side, you let your head rest on his chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath. The silence feels comfortable, nice even. And for the first time in a really long time, you feel happy.  

So yeah, sometimes he makes you want to die. But he also, equally shows you that as long as there’s a breath left in your body, that life is worth living.

Eddie Munson, as much as he makes you want to die, he makes you want to live. 

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things x y/n #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine

[tessatales]

Touch Starved ✨Yelena✨

Yelena x F!reader

Warnings: none really, touch starved Yelena (duh) mention of missing family (no death though!)

Theme: touch starved Yelena, grumpy lady, comfort found

A/N: wow, this series is over! Actually finished! And on my birthday to boot. I’ve honestly loved writing all of these fic, and I’m sure I’ll come back to a variation of it somewhere down the line but until then- thank you to everyone whose read these fics and I hope they bring you as much joy and they’ve brought me ❤️❤️

*Your POV*

‘Yelena’s acting strange’ Bruce murmured as you passed, pointing the tip of his pen behind him as he walked back to his office.

“Roger that.” You reply, straightening your spine as you walked into the towers main living area. Yelena was only a visitor to Avengers tower, although her access was nearly as unlimited as the residents that called this place home. (with only a few exceptions)

“Yelena! Long time no see!” You said with a grin, leaving your fist out for the ex assassin to bump.

“Tony banned me for the car incident” Yelena shrugged, taking a sip of her beer. You nodded with understanding.

“We’ll getting a limited addition vintage car towed for a joke probably wasn’t your best idea” You replied, snatching the drink from her to take a swig. Yelena shrugged, saying nothing.

When the silence stretched on longer than usual for the talkative Widow, you decided to speak up.

“Your particularly quiet today, what’s up” You prompted, knowing instantly that you’d hit a nerve when Yelena practically slams her beer onto the counter.

“See I don’t get you people!” Yelena growled, throwing her hands into the air before standing from her seat.

“Just because I’m not taking up every silence does not mean there’s something wrong” Yelena continued, shoving her stool angrily back into place before snatching her beer and stalking off.

You tried your best to not take the outbursts personally, though you could still feel the sting. You knew that Natasha was usually best at keeping Yelena’s moods in check, but with her off in deep cover gods knows where, you knew you’d just have to navigate these moments alone.

Yelena would calm down eventually, You thought with a sigh before trudging back to your own rooms.

*Yelena’s POV*

Yelena knew she’d fucked up. She’d felt the guilt the second she’d slammed Natasha’s bedroom door behind her. The second she’s been out of Y/N’s presence, her mood dipped and the anger she’d felt died in an instant.

Yelena wished she knew what was causing her mood, the outbursts becoming more and more frequent the longer Natasha was away. But she just couldn’t figure out why.

Of course she missed Natasha, she was her sister after all, but this growing anger since Nat’s departure just wasn’t adding up.

Armed with limited information, Yelena took to the towers best search engine, J.A.R.V.I.S.

“Why am I feeling this way?” Yelena said to the air, not bothering to say the AI’s name.

“I assume you are talking to me Miss Belova” J.A.R.V.I.S. replied, his voice forever patient. Yelena grunted.

“May I give you a solution based on an observation?” J.A.R.V.I.S. asked as he turned Natasha’s rooms computer system on.

“Go ahead” Yelena replied, wandering over to the screens. As she did, several articles on touch starvation and it’s effects began to pop up, each one explaining in depth the different side effected the issue could have.

“Huh” Yelena said, mumbling her thanks as she began to read.

*A Few Hours Later*

Yelena paced silently outside of Y/N’s door for what felt like a lifetime- after many hours of reading and arguing with J.A.R.V.I.S, Yelena had relented in her argument and accepted she had to do something.

Taking a final few steps, Yelena stepped up to Y/N’s door, tapping on it lightly as she contemplated what she was going to say.

*Your POV*

Groggy from your nap, You padded slowly to the door, your eyes barely focused as you opened it.

“I miss Natasha and it’s making me be a bitch” Yelena blurts. You blinked.

“Come in?” You replied, confusion colouring your sleepy voice. Yelena accepted, sliding past you to flop into your unmade bed.

“I was a bitch earlier and the Computer Voice says it’s touch starvation” Yelena continued, clearly unaware that you were basically still asleep.

“Okay…?”

Yelena sat up, finally taking in your sleepy appearance.

“Were you sleeping?” Yelena said with a little guilt, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

“I was, but don’t worry about it. So what does Natasha and touch starvation have in common?” You asked, coming to sit beside the assassin.

“Natasha is my sister. So obviously she tends to touch me more than anyone else” Yelena said, staring at her hands as she spoke.

“Go on?” You prompt, trying your best to sounds as reassuring as possible.

Well… when I’d have a bad night- or if we were just hanging out, Nat would usually stroke my hair or lay her legs on me while watching tv…” Yelena whispered, picking at her nails as she explained.

“And she’s been gone so long it’s affecting you emotionally- that lack of touch?” You finished, taking in the information slowly. Yelena nodded.

“Why didn’t you say something?” You asked exasperated, punching the assassin lightly on the arm before clambering up the bed and getting comfy.

“Ow! because I didn’t- what are you doing?” Yelena said, watching you with confusion as you lay the blankets beside you.

“I’m getting comfortable so we can nap together. Me and Nat do it all the time on the sofa” You replied, snuggling down with your arms outstretched, beckoning the ex assassin to cuddle with you.

After biting her lip for a while, Yelena seemed to give in, quickly sliding off her shoes before clambering up to lay in your arms, the blanket following soon after.

You were sure not to react to the audible sigh the assassin gave as she relaxed, her face seemed to involuntarily snuggled into your side as you adjusted to her weight.

Once comfortable, you placed one hand on Yelena’s head, moving your fingers in slow, circular movements as her blonde hair began to tangle between your fingers. The other rested lightly over her blanket clad waist.

The silence in the room was comfortable, with nether you or Yelena wanting to break the spell it had caused. Because of this, it took you a while to notice Yelena’s steady breathing and relaxed limbs. Only when her fingers began lightly twitching against your stomach did you realise she was asleep.

You weren’t going to wake her.

She’d finally opened up about something. And you weren’t going to break that intimacy. So you laid there in silence, still stroking the sleeping assassins hair.

Touch starved or not I’ll be here for you no matter what.

You thought as your eyes began to close, your hands slowing in Yelena hair until you eventually fell asleep yourself.

#avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #bucky x reader #tony x reader #dr strange #dr strange x reader #bruce banner imagine #clint barton x reader #loki x y/n #yelena belova x reader #yelena boleva #natasha and yelena #touchstarved Yelena #touchstarvedmcu #touchstarved peter #touch starved pietro #touch starved natasha

[graymanshoots]

Uncertain future’s

John price x GN reader

Warnings: angst, crying, use of nickname, did I mention heavy angst, grieving, loss (no death), Price It’s a hypocrite

!No beta reader we die like soap!

(Reader is former Military!! )

A/N: I have a love/hate relationship with writing angst and this one made me rlly upset just imagining it. Despite everything I’m not surprised that the first thing a write to get back into writing is angst. Anyways be merciful it’s been awhile since I’ve written and fanfics or one shots so I’m probably super rusty, don’t expect amazing work. Also I would recommend listening to the song while reading it’s what gave me inspo.

There’s like little to no usage of Y/n in this I kinda just stuck with You.

Word count: 734

Rain fell down in sheets.

The heavy pelting of water against the window soft compared to the noise of the tv.

John sat in his recliner unable to sleep. His eyes glazed with exhaustion and he mindlessly watched whatever was playing this late.

He perked up at the sound of his phones ringtone.

You had gotten up from bed after realizing John hadn’t come to bed and crept into the living room where he was sitting.

He was in the phone so you stayed quiet as you walked in.

A sinking feeling filled your stomach as you heard him speak.

After noticing your present John gave a knowing look and sat up in his recliner.

“I understand, I’ll be in my way.” He sighed hanging up the phone before looking back over to you.

“I swear to god John if it’s another job…” you began earning a groan from John.

“Y’know it my Job birdie.” He huffed getting up from his seat.

“I feel like I’ve heard that line a million times.” You said sharply.

“Don’t do this. Not now, please.” He pleaded rubbing his tired eyes.

“Don’t do what John ask you time and time again to not leave?” You snapped crossing your arms.

“I can’t just not go if I was called in.” John argued taking on a similar stance.

“You almost died on your last mission John! Am I just gonna sit here and wait for you to show up after weeks? Months? Hell you might not even come back!” As your anger rose you felt tears well up.

“That’s a risk we’ll just have to take. Besides you know I’ll come back birdie, I always do.” John sighed pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

“Do you know how much of a fucking hypocrite you are John price?! My last mission in Russia John when I came back practically on my death bed you basically demanded I quit!” You started feeling your fist clench.

“When you where in damn near the same condition and I ask you to at least take a break you didn’t even listen to that!’ Just as much as you don’t want me to die I don’t want you to die John! I need you here, what would I do without you now?”

Your cheeks felt wet as tears started to slip past.

“I live for you John you made me choose between work and you and when I ask you to do the same you can’t!’ Why is the answer not fucking clear to you?’ I wait and I wait and you keep telling me is your job it’s your obligation but it was my job and obligation too!”

A this point you’d begun yelling at him the tears flowing freely down your cheeks.

John’s head was hung low in shame at your words.

“Y/n I’m sorry,” he took a step towards you pulling you into his chest.

“I need you. I want to keep you safe and happy-“

“You’d make me happy if you stopped this.” You interrupted feeling numb in his arms.

John let out conflicted sigh resting his chin on you’re head.

“I can’t do this anymore John I don’t have it in me.” You sobbed into his chest as he squeezed you tighter.

“I know birdie I’ll do this last one and we can be just us, I promise.” Price said pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

That wasn’t the answer you needed or wanted. Those words solidified the fate of your relationship.

Price left that night unknowing to the lie he’d promised you with.

Months later, he returned with predicted bad news to an empty house. Your wedding band lay on the coffee table and your things gone.

Price felt a wave of nausea roll over him as he realized what happened.

He dropped his bags then sat on the couch and picked up the ring he’d gotten you. Everything felt off balance, as if the world had just tipped over.

He stomach turned as he felt the cold metal in his hand. Price didn’t even realize he’d been crying till a choked sob left his lips.

He clenched the ring in his fist dropping his head into his hand.

Price remained hunched over on the couch as he cried.

He’d never regret anything more than leaving you, Ignoring your please, forcing you out of your lifestyle for him just so he could hurt you more than any bullet or knife could.

He felt so stupid.

#angst #john price x reader #john price #angst fic #fanfic #one shot #cod mw2 #call of duty #call of duty fanfic #john price cod #john price call of duty #first fic #Spotify

[sockori]

shmupdate 🧦

very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated

greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy

im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.

i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.

yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.

the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.

cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest

feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.

that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails

trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine

#sasori #world is pain but i will manage

[mostspecialgirl]

nonsensical super nerd rant below about the fate series. spoilers for the stay night routes and zero ahead, probably

okay, we’re good, right?

every time someone tries to get someone else to start fate by saying “just watch it in the correct order. start with Fate/Zero :)” Something in me dies. Ive had to tweet about it so many times. There is no series i will ever have nerd rage of this caliber over other than fate. reading fate/stay night changed the way i engage with media and feel about storytelling and writing and all that stuff and its like Why would you ever want someone to spoil all of the coolest twists in fate/stay night by watching zero. it literally spoils like ALL of them. (by the way, gil’s introduction and reveal with him coming out of nowhere is what cemented him as one of my firm favorites. he’s so cool!!!!) And i know the answer. Because no one plays the VN. Because no one ever plays visual novels and theyd rather just flick on an anime. Because for some god awful reason there is no definitive adaptation that cleanly allows you to digest the fate stay night routes !!!!!!!!!! and reading the fucking thing will take you forever !!!!!!!!! and it’s so terribly inaccessible!!!!!! i probably wouldn’t have played it if my sister didn’t already jump through the hoops for me !!!!!!

people who are fate fans and talk about how good unlimited blade works or heavens feel are two starkly different groups depending on if they watched it or read it because they are genuinely two completely different things. don’t get me wrong i Love Love LOVE the heavens feel movies and i doubt they could have done them all too much better (ubw however… ) BUT the thing is fate RELIES on shirou’s internal monologuing and narration and SO much is lost when you have to transfer all of that from writing to screen. even with the english patch translation purportedly being less than ideal i was still out here getting my heartstrings played with by the writing.

BUT ENOUGH GUSHING!!!! THATS THE THING!!!! THE STAY NIGHT ROUTE IN ANIME FORM IS NONEXISTENT!!! UBW AND HEAVENS FEEL ARE SO SEPARATED!!!! THEY’RE THREE ACTS OF A WHOLE AND IT’S PAINFUL TO HAVE THEM BE SO SEPARATED PEOPLE START WITH THE PREQUEL that, while standalone is an incredible story, CANNOT BE EXPERIENCED TO FULL BREADTH WITHOUT HAVING READ STAY NIGHT FIRST!!!! PEOPLE ARE LICKING THE WRAPPER OF A CANDY AND THINKING ITS THE DAMN TASTIEST THING IN THE WORLD !!!!! YOU ARE NOT YET A FAN !!!!! YOU’RE MISSING THE WHOLE POINT !!!!!! KOTOMINE’S VALUE AND INTRIGUE AS A CHARACTER IS UNDERMINED !!!!! GILGAMESH HAS NO TIME TO BE TRULY HORRIFYING BECAUSE YOURE TOO BUSY BEING DISTRACTED BY HOW SEXY HE IS !!!!!! EVERYTHING ABOUT KIRITSUGU !!!!!!!!! SAKURA’S ENTIRE BACKSTORY CHANGING HOW YOU UNDERSTAND AND VIEW HER AS A CHARACTER !!!!!!!!!!! THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW ZOUKEN EVEN EXISTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(composing myself instantly) i just think it’s kind of garbage how people see cool screenshots from the VN and go Wow I Can’t Wait To Go And Not Experience This Thing I’m Getting Intrigued By. or seeing astolfo and thinking fate is all about porn. fate is so much more than anyone thinks it is and you can’t understand until you sit down and read it and suddenly you’re born anew and have to go play tsukihime or mahoyo too. it’s absurd that fate’s whole reputation online is based around porn addicts because YES, EVERYONE, fate OBVIOUSLY began as a Naked Boobs Visual Novel but it was God’s Greatest Naked Boobs Visual Novel that was SO damn good it stopped being about porn immediately and cemented itself as an astoundingly successful work of fiction that has engrained itself into the world line. they added gacha to it and it’s been one of the most successful mobile games Ever. the seventh highest grossing mobile game of all time. and it’s straight up just another VN with barebones combat and grinding thrown inbetween

anyway i forgot what i was even getting mad about everyone should sit down and drain away a week or so reading through all of fate stay night. and then they can truly earn the incomparable experience of cry watching today’s menu for the emiya family. that is all.

supplementary edit: i used to read through fate stay night together with my sister every day in the late afternoon and it became such a great ritual for us. it was some of the best times of my life and if you’re going to read it and have a likeminded friend who can just sit there and chill out for like an hour with you it makes all the crazy moments so much more fun. because you probably are here to read my rant despite not playing the vn. i remember i had a little text file on my phone we’d update every time we learned the identity of a new servant or master and id be sitting there using my love for mythology trying to figure out their identities. there was such a delightful satisfaction when finished the stay night route and unlimited blade works and got to begin the next one. i’d give up a lot to relive those days, i think.

#leastspecialgirl #mostspecialreading

[kiseki-no-scenarios]

Ahh, I had SO MANY IDEAS so of course I had to put it down in writing!

GOM + Kasamatsu reactions to having an indirect kiss with their crush - Part 1 (Akashi, Midorima, Aomine)

Akashi

Sitting quietly on the tatami mat, Akashi’s gaze was focused on the shoji board that was set up in front of him. He had just taken a sip of his tea when you had burst into the room, face flushed and sweat beading along your hairline as you panted, leaning against the doorframe.

‘I’m so sorry I’m late!!!”

Not missing a single beat or showing any sort of surprise, Akashi calmly set the teacup back down, folding his arms as he smiled serenely at you. “It’s no problem, _____.”

“Sensei wanted to chat with me about one of the assignments, then we just started chatting about the show that was on TV last night…”

You were too busy smoothing down your flyaway hairs and the skirt of your uniform to notice that Akashi was watching you with an uncharacteristic warmth in his eyes. Not that he’d be explicitly admitting to it so easily anytime soon, but he truly looked forward to the games of shoji the two of you played together.

“I’m going to definitely impress you today, Akashi-kun!” You stated confidently, sitting down across the board. “I’m been practicing a whole lot!”

“We shall see.” Akashi responded diplomatically, nudging the board slightly so it was set exactly in the middle between the two of you.

The air grew thick with tension as the two of you began, Akashi murmuring words of praise as he saw that you were indeed putting his teaching into practice, managing to stay ahead of him for most of the match. However, he had no intent to let go of this pastime with you anytime soon, so he enjoyed the look of frustration on your face as he cleanly delivered a strategic response to your tactics.

“Not again…!” You sighed, tapping your fingers against your side as you studied the board intently.

His next words died in his throat as he watched you absentmindedly pick up the teacup-his teacup, that his lips had touched-and bring it up to your lips. You were clearly focused on the match and had accidentally grabbed the wrong cup.

“Oh, this is really delicious!”

Akashi felt his mouth grow dry, his mind clearly conjuring other ideas of what exactly you were referring to as being delicious…

Midorima

“Mido-kun!! Is that what I think it is???”

Grabbing the cup out of the green-haired shooter’s hands, you stared at it in wonder. “How long did you have to line up for this?”

“It was my lucky item, so of course I had Takao acquire it.”

“Don’t even get me started, _____-chan.” The point guard groaned, his head resting atop his folded arms. “I had to wake up so early to get to the store, and there were already people there!”

The item in question was a new offering at one of the most popular bubble tea shops in the area, and unfortunately it was a daily limited-item selection. There was no way, with your constant need for the most sleep you could manage in a day and the fact that your parents had been less than impressed with your begging to take off a day of school to try what you had referred to as the “elixir of the gods” for you to even get a taste of it.

You stared longingly at the drink, Midorima easily understanding the look of desperation in your eyes. He had tried it, but didn’t find it much to write home about-but, nonetheless, he had to have it on his person.

Unconsciously, your tongue had darted out and swept across your lips, and Midorima felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight of your wet lips, the lips that had been recently haunting his thoughts.

His fingers gripped the edges of his desk before he adjusted his glasses, as nonchalantly as possible as he cleared his throat.

“_____. If you’d like, I can certainly share-“

“Then try it if you want, _____-chan!” Takao raised his hand, pushing the drink right up against your mouth. “It’s too sweet for Shin-chan, so he’s probably not going to be able to finish it!”

“W-Wait, but I didn’t even ask if it’s okay-!”

A smattering of red bloomed across Midorima’s cheeks as he realized that your lips were touching exactly where his lips were earlier.

“T-That’s acceptable.” He managed to eek out as he tilted his gaze to the left, avoiding the knowing look Takao was sending his way.

“Thanks so much Mido-kun, you’re the best!!”

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to slap Takao or begrudgingly thank him for his antics.

Aomine

“Satsuki, hand me the juice.” Aomine muttered, one arm slung over his eyes as he yawned. It was lunchtime, the sun was nice outside…perfect time for a nap. He’d been too lazy to go buy his food himself, and despite the multitude of complaints from the pink-haired manager, she still acted as a courier for his drinks and snacks.

“Oh, actually it’s _____, Aomine-kun.”

Aomine’s eyes widened at the sound of your voice, his body immediately reacting as he jerked himself into a sitting position. The sun was directly shining into his eyes as he swore under his breath, feeling slight whiplash from how quickly he righted himself. “What the fuck?!”

You smiled sheepishly as you climbed the ladder to the top of the roof, gesturing to the bag held in you left hand. “Momoi-chan was called away for something, so I volunteered to drop stuff off for you.”

Aomine rubbed the back of his neck nervously, clearing his throat. “Ah, you didn’t have to do that…”

“No worries! I actually wanted to find this secret spot you were talking about!” You were about to sit down before you hesitated. “Well, if it’s okay for me to be here, or I can leave…”

“N-No, you can stay!” Aomine cringed as he listened to the way he stuttered-he was acting like some kindergartener kid with a crush on the cutest girl in the school.

“Oh, perfect!” You brightened up immediately, plopping down next to Aomine, completely ignoring the way his cheeks flushed slightly as you brushed up against him. “I feel so honored to be here! I can see why you like it, it’s quiet, and warm…perfect for a nap.”

“Yeah, I suppose…” Clearing his throat, Aomine busied himself with digging through the bag and fishing out the drinks. “Uh, thanks for bringing all of this.” Trying to hide his embarrassment, he opened one of the drinks, easily chugging down half of its contents.

“You’re welcome! Oh, but…” You pout, swiping the bottle out of his hands. “That was the one I wanted to try!”

Before he even had a chance to say anything, you had already placed the bottle to your lips, helping yourself to the drink. “Oh, this is delicious!”

Aomine’s mouth gaped open slightly as he watched how you licked your lips before handing the bottle back to him. “It was delicious, Aomine-kun~"

—

Masterpost

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#knb #knb scenarios #kuroko no basket #akashi seijuro #akashi seijuro x reader #midorima shintarou x reader #midorima shintarou #aomine daiki x reader #aomine daiki

[ilikemesometaetaes]

Good Day (M)

Jeon Jungkook Oneshot

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes​

•••> Summary: His motive was made quite clear once he called you out of work. He just wanted to spend a nice day with his girlfriend. Is that too much to ask for?

•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader

•••> Requested by Anon: “Can I request a Jungkook oneshot(established relationship) where they just want to spend the day just getting drunk on wine and having sex on the couch? Y/N could be dressed in just his shirt and Jungkook in just his sweatpants”

•••> Word Count: 6.15k [Unedited]

•••> Rating: 18+

•••> Tags: smut | Established Relationship | Jungkook!au | Boyfriend!Jungkook | Lazy Day/Sex | Wine Drunk

•••> Warnings: smut, slight bloating!kink (but there isn’t actually any bloating), unprotected sex, dirty talk, kookie is a horny little fuck, he literally just wants to bone, all day, he’s also a drunken idiot sometimes, cursing, alcohol use, shower stimulation, showerheads can be a girl’s best friend, drunk sex, lazy sex

Copyright © 2021 ilikemesometaetaes. All Rights Reserved.

Thank you for the request, anon! It took ages to complete and I’m so sorry! I hope you enjoy it :)

~#~

Arms tightened around your waist as you woke. The embrace was slightly suffocating.

“Baby,” You wheezed through your unused vocal cords. The grip only tightened and constricted your lungs, serving for a rude awakening. “Kook.”

“Murph.” Hot breath on your neck after a groan of exhaustion was a welcome feeling- comforting despite the uncomfortable position you were in. You smiled despite your lack of ability to move and looked down to see his tattooed arm overlapping the bare one over your ribs.

“I can’t-“ You were cut off as he tightened his grip with a slight whimper of distress.

Immediately plagued with concern, you grabbed his arms and wrestled them from your body so that you could turn to face him from within his encircled limbs. You only got more worried when you noticed his obvious stress-ridden eyebrows, arched up with eyelids fluttering rapidly. His lower lip was trembling as he quietly began muttering ‘no’ repeatedly.

“Jungkook.” You gently placed your hand on his bare shoulder and shook him. His fingers dug into your ribs painfully, warranting a more stern call of his name. “Jungkook!”

“No!” He yelled while sitting up abruptly and heaving for breath. You were thrown from his clutches and rocked on the bed from the movement. Despite the disturbance, you sat up with him and reached for his back to rub it soothingly.

“Baby,” You cooed, quick to reassure him with gentle touches. “I’m here. We’re here. You’re okay.”

Following your statements and ministrations on his back, his breathing gradually slowed with a few sputtering gasps and an audible gulp. Once you gauged his level of calm, you broke the silence.

“What happened?” You asked, tilting your head and leaning forward to get a better look at his face past his long hair. His eyes were shut tight with eyelids wrinkled at the corners while he inhaled slowly through flaring nostrils.

Your boyfriend opened his eyes after a moment, blinking a few times in the process, before turning his head to set you in his line of sight.

“They were taking my dad away.” He wavered. “But he’d already completed his time.”

You knew better- Jungkook’s father was safe in the comfort of his own home in Busan, already having served the mandatory enlistment for his home country- but you also knew that you needed to reassure your boyfriend so that he could relax his tensed shoulders.

“Do you want me to give him a call?” You asked. “I’m sure he’d appreciate hearing from us and it’s not too late in the evening over there.”

“No, it’s okay.” Jungkook said, letting the tremors fade from his body as he let reality sink into him. “He should get his rest. I’ll call him this evening.”

“Alright, Kook. Sounds good.” You gave him one more pat before looking at the clock. Your alarm would go off in eight minutes. “Shit. Might as well start getting ready now.”

“You do have work today.” Jungkook said the words as a statement, as if confirming prior thoughts.

“Yes,” You chuckled, smiling lightly and leaning in to kiss his cheek before getting out of the bed. “I do.”

A soft whine escaped his throat as he quickly grabbed onto your fingers. “Nooo… Don’t goooo…”

“I have to, baby.” You lightly tugged your fingers from his grasp to make your way towards the bathroom. Shuffling sheets from behind you signaled that Jungkook had also gotten out of the bed.

As you turned the shower handle and began taking off your clothes to shower, you heard him creep in behind you with light footsteps padding across the wooden floor.

“Don’t even think about it.” You giggled while he crowded his body against the back of your almost-bare one, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his ever-present morning wood against your skin. “I can’t be held up.”

“Then call out.” He whispered into your ear, to which you pulled away and turned around so that you could raise an eyebrow at him. Did he really just tell you to call out of work just so the two of you could bone?

His eyes were dark and playful as if challenging you while you stared up into his gaze defiantly. You scoffed in disbelief. “Jungkook, I can’t.”

“Why not?” He jutted his lower lip out into a pout. Fuck. You internally scowled at his tactics, hating the way your heart began trying to convince your brain to consider calling out.

Before you could crumble under the pressure of his ways, you huffed out a response. “Because I can’t, babe.” You slid your panties off and opened the shower door to step inside.

“-And don’t even think of coming in here. I can’t afford to be late.” You added the last part as you closed the glass door behind you, knowing his next strategy would be to tempt you with his naked body- a strategy you would surely lose to.

Jungkook groaned, pressing himself against the door with one arm bracing his weight against the distorted surface while you wet your hair. You watched in amusement as he slowly began accepting his defeat.

“But you work all the time.” He whined again, causing you to smugly and mockingly pout in response.

“So that I can make money.” You jokingly copied his tone and continued with your shower before he backed away from the glass in silence and stepped towards the sink. You watched as his shapeless body moved, deducting that he was going to brush his teeth as he reached into the drawer where you kept the toothpaste. Once he placed the toothbrush into his mouth and began brushing, you smiled, shook your head, and continued to shower.

“Y’know,” His words were jumbled as the toothbrush obstructed his speech. “You gon’ make me act up.”

“Act up?” You asked while laughing. “How are you going to act up?”

Jungkook leaned over the sink and spit, leaving a break of silence to drag your curiosity further. Once he rinsed his mouth, he turned to look at you again despite being unable to see you clearly. He sighed dramatically.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, babe.” He quipped before exiting the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

You only scoffed at him again, rolling your eyes and hurrying with your shower to stay on schedule.

~#~

Fresh-faced and ready for work, you grabbed your purse and walked out of your bedroom to make your way towards the front door. The sound of something scraping against a pan while the oven fan hummed lowly tipped off that Jungkook was in the kitchen.

“Jungkook?” You called for him as you were about to round the corner. “Do you know where my phone is?”

The sight you walked in on was one of dreams.

Your boyfriend stood in front of the stove, cooking eggs and bacon, in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. Muscular back on full display, you let your eyes slowly trail all the way down the cut definition around his shoulders to the dimples stamped into the flesh of his lower back. The adorable crevices were graciously uncovered because of how low his pants hung on his hips.

“It’s on the counter.” He haphazardly gestured to the kitchen island with the spatula he was holding. You had to gulp down the saliva that collected in your mouth and blink a few times to snap yourself out of your haze so that you could grab your phone and leave.

“Thanks, baby.” You rushed up to the counter, grabbed your phone to drop it into your bag, turned to kiss Jungkook on the cheek, and quickly began to leave. “I’ll see you later. Love you!”

“Oh, by the way,” Jungkook started. You stopped in front of the door to put your heels on. “Your boss called.”

“She did?” You reached into your purse and fumbled around for your phone. “What did she say?”

“She said she hopes you feel better soon.”

“What?” You froze, unable to understand, and looked up at Jungkook who had already set the food on two plates. “Why?”

“Because you’re bedridden right now. Your head hurts oh, so bad and you have a runny nose with a fever of one-hundred and one degrees.” He pouted and looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eye despite wearing a somber expression on his face.

Realization set in all at once.

He. Did. Not.

“Jungkook,” You started, slightly upset. “I swear to god, if you did what I think you di-“

“A sick person shouldn’t be all dressed in heels and a pant suit. Why don’t you go change into something more comfortable and then come eat so we can get some food in your belly?”

You spluttered incredulously to a halt as he spoke, shocked by his drastic measures to keep you home. He lied to your boss and called out of work for you.

“What- exactly- did she say?” You gritted out.

Jungkook grabbed the two plates and walked to the kitchen table with a seemingly unbothered demeanor, placing them down carefully.

“She just said that you had it coming. You work too much for your own good and now you’re sick because of it.” He sauntered over to the fridge as you eyed him critically, glaring daggers into the back of his head while he spoke. “I agree with her, to be honest. You don’t look so good. All that working took a toll on you- do you want orange juice? Or water? Or some iced coffee?”

The oblivious facade only irritated you further, warranting you to kick off your heels, drop your purse, and stomp over to him. Grabbing him by the shoulder, you spun him around angrily, only to see a smug smirk plastered across his lips.

“I’ll take that as you wanting iced coffee. You were always a grump without some caffeine.” He grinned.

“Jeon Jungkook.” You hissed, glowering at him with increasing intensity. “What the hell did you call me out for?”

“I called you out-“ He started with a smirk, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and spinning you around quickly to press you against the fridge. His face morphed into a stern expression quickly. You never broke eye contact with him, intransigence unwavering under his pressure.

“- so that we can crack open those bottles of wine we hoard and I can fuck you open on the couch over and over again while we pretend to pay attention to a movie playing on the TV.”

Your anger dissipated instantaneously, brain functioning coming to a halt as his words sunk into your skin.

Well… shit. What’s your name again?

“Do you understand now?” Jungkook asked, leaning down far enough that his hair brushed against your forehead and his mint-scented breath tickled your nose and top lip.

“Y-yeah.” You stuttered.

“Good. Now, go change.” He grinned, backing away from you and reaching into the fridge to grab the orange juice and the iced coffee. You followed his command like a robot, excitement building in you so fast that you had no way to process the fact that you were livid with him moments ago.

It wasn’t long before you were bare-faced and clad in one of Jungkook’s shirts that you picked up from the bed. His scent filled the shirt, shampoo and body soap mixed with a slight edge of his natural musk. It was almost dizzying in your current state of arousal.

The heat between your legs distracted you throughout your breakfast as you sat at your small kitchen table across from Jungkook, but falling into a conversation with him came naturally. Your boyfriend lying to your boss about your sickness went easily forgotten as you began to enjoy the day off.

Before long, your plate was empty and all that remained in your glass of iced coffee was a few melting ice cubes. Looking over to Jungkook’s side of the table, you noticed that his dishes were also cleared of food.

“I’ll clean the dishes.” You said, getting up with your silverware, glass, and plate in hand.

“I won’t fight you on that.” He chuckled, getting up from his chair and grabbing his things too. “I’ll pour us some wine.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You affirmed.

As you set the now-clean items on the drying rack, you turned to find Jungkook leaning against the kitchen island with two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle of some nameless wine that someone had gifted to Jungkook not too long ago in the other while he grinned at you.

“Couch?” He asked.

“Couch.” You nodded, nerves building in you once again at the mention of the location.

You were just about to finish your second glass when you noticed Jungkook reaching for the bottle to pour himself the last bits of wine left inside.

“Nooo.” You whined, causing him to turn and face you in the process of pouring the remaining alcohol into his own glass. “I wanted it.”

“Nuh-uh.” He playfully turned his body away from you so that you couldn’t reach for the wine as he poured it. “This was my idea, so I get to have three cups. We can open another bottle anyway. We have a shit load.”

“But this one tastes yummy.” You complained, grabbing onto his shoulder to lightly urge him to face you.

He looked into your pleading eyes for a few moments with his lips pressed into a tight line before he huffed.

“Fine! But on one condition.” He set the bottle down on the table.

You raised your eyebrow at him expectantly. “What is the condition?”

“I’ll pour you this last glass if you join me in the shower when you’re finished with it.”

The shower? Oh boy. “I already took a shower, Kook.”

“So?” He smirked. “That doesn’t mean anything. I want you in the shower if I give you this last glass.”

Slightly warm and agreeable from the delicious wine, you gave in with a grumble. “Fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Sweet.” Jungkook gestured for you to offer your glass so that he could fill it. Once he did, he brought the empty wine bottle to the kitchen and dropped it into the recycling bin, only to turn around and meet your following eyes as he stalked towards your bedroom with a devious smile on his lips. “See you in a few.”

You watched with slightly parted lips as he turned back around while beginning to hum an aimless tune to skip the rest of the way, giving you whiplash with how quickly he could turn from a man that made you lustfully feral to a boy that made you want to joyfully frolic through a meadow.

Determined to remain true to your word, you sipped your wine quickly. He wanted to be joined in the shower? So be it. It wasn’t long before your glass was empty once again.

Three glasses of wine and adrenaline pumping the alcohol quickly through your veins were the factors that caused you to feel a slight head rush and a bit loopy once you stood from the couch. Giggling softly at your condition, you left your empty glass next to his and headed in the direction of your bedroom.

Distantly, you heard smooth notes of a familiar song drifting from the bathroom. Jungkook loved to sing in the shower and you loved to listen to it. The sound of the water running only made taking a shower with him more inviting as you approached the closed bathroom door.

Sneaking in quietly, you shed your clothes once again, hoping to take him by surprise. Your plan only resulted in failure when Jungkook slid the door open to beckon you inside when you were in the middle of taking off your boyfriend’s shirt.

“C’mon, babe. We haven’t got all morning.” He smiled, wet hair mussed and pressed to his forehead.

“We don’t?” You laugh as you step inside so that he could close the door behind you. Immediately, you were encased in the tight, warm, and humid space. “I’m pretty sure that you made it so that we do.”

Swiftly, Jungkook wrapped his arm around your waist and spun you around to meet the steady stream of water. Crowding your back with his chest, Jungkook pressed his face up against the back of your neck.

“I know, babe, but I have a few plans now that you’re off.”

“Plans, you say?” You giggled and craned your head down to get his wandering nose away from your neck. He knew that you were ticklish and loved to attack the spot when he got playful.

“Yes ma’am.”

After a moment of standing in the shower, the telltale signs of your situation becoming hot and steamy made themselves prominent in the form of Jungkook’s semi-hard erection brushing your skin and the subtle notes of a growl tainting the edge of his exhales.

“You alright there, baby?” You teased.

“Mhm.” He hummed, detaching a hand from your body to reach for the showerhead. “Just wanna rinse you really quick.”

“Be my guest.” You let your head fall back to rest on his shoulder and closed your eyes, heart slightly picking up its pace at the elevating tension. For a moment, both of Jungkook’s arms left you to change the setting on the water pressure and you felt the steady stream turn harsh right below your collarbones.

You hummed in appreciation while he returned one of his arms around your waist and began running the water over your shoulders and arms with the other. Gradually, he began massaging you with it.

It wasn’t long before Jungkook’s true intentions came to the surface; slowly, the point of the pressure moved south from your shoulders to your breasts. You felt the showerhead point the stream closer and closer to your nipples, causing your eyelids to flutter open and look at the man delivering the sensations to your body.

You gasped softly as the water covered your left nipple and Jungkook tore his gaze from your chest to meet your eyes once you did. What greeted you in his irises was pure, prominent desire.

“Kookie.” You whispered, lips brushing his as your body became electrified like a live wire.

“Say the word, baby.” He crooned softly, encouraging. The pressure on your nipples only left you with your lips slightly parted and taking sharp inhales with a whine teasing your throat. Jungkook only continued to push you along, desperate to hear. “That’s it, baby. Say it.”

You whimpered, barely able to get it out. “Please.”

“As you wish, my love.”

And then he made the showerhead descend further down.

Your toes curled against the floor in anticipation that was fueled by how slow he moved. Your stomach vibrated while the water migrated down your expanse of skin to the place you wanted it most.

As the water touched the top of your mound, you reached up and curled an arm around Jungkook’s neck to prepare for the onslaught.

Your moan was unexpected; the force of the water shocked you into submission instantly.

Jungkook’s grip on you tightened soon after, followed by the low, comforting ‘sh’ that slid through his teeth when your body curled inwards.

The water pressure, turned high, forced its way past your pussy lips with no trouble at all. In its trajectory, your clit was battered as the only thing in the showerhead’s path. The intense amount of stimulation had you approaching an orgasm faster than you could count to three.

“Jungkook,” You whined at a high pitch, unused to the most adamant sensation of pleasure you’d felt in a while.

“You’re okay, baby. Just breathe. It’s alright.” Your boyfriend’s voice in your ear came out as a soothing coo, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to breathe correctly when he was holding the showerhead so close to your bundle of nerves and tightening his grip around your waist to prevent you from escaping.

“I-I-“ You breathed so fast, it almost felt like you were hyperventilating. Your clit, taking the entirety of the assault by the water, throbbed wildly and spasmed as if attempting to get out from under the force.

Almost on instinct, you raised a leg to allow the water more access the the entirety of your pussy, hoping that your orgasm would crest upon you before you lost your mind, and braced your raised foot against Jungkook’s knee. You hoped that taking the attention off your clit would help balance out how boggled your mind was, but all it did was drive you crazy when you felt the pressure beginning to spread your folds apart to push inside.

“Oh, no. Now I can’t let that happen.” Jungkook spoke as if he were speaking to a child in disdain, repeating the word ‘no’ a few more times with his bottom lip jutted into a pout.

He moved the showerhead back up to solely torture your clit, warranting you to cry out and tighten your arm around the back of his neck while you squeezed your eyes shut. His voice turned into a growl. “I’m the only one who gets to be inside you.”

“No!” You groaned in frustration, jerking your hips in response to the stream returning to your most sensitive area. “Nononono baby, please.”

“It’s unhealthy for you, baby. I can’t put water up there. So just be a good girl and take it here.”

Jungkook seemed to punctuate his statement with a light twist of his wrist to circle your clit with the showerhead. Your legs shook from the strain of spreading them so hard and trembled from the new burst of stimulation.

It only took another few moments for your body to begin curling in on itself again.

“K-kook.” Your teeth chattered as you mumbled his name, eyes rolling back into your head.

Jungkook braced his back against the wall before squeezing your waist to lift your body against his chest. You had half the mind to help him, supporting some of your weight on his neck so that you could wrap your other leg around his to spread your thighs even further.

“You gonna cum?” His breathing was harsh in your ear as he watched your body.

Your response came out as a whimper of affirmation, unsure of how to speak with the vibrations of the water shooting up your spine and back down to your curling toes.

Jungkook’s erection throbbed against your back while you let out sounds that were a mixture of huffs for breath and moans of pleasure. At this point, though, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything but making sure you orgasmed in the next five seconds.

You knew you were going to cum when you felt the tingling sensation spread like wildfire from your battered nub. It bloomed in your lower belly and seared every muscle in its path throughout your body, causing all of the sinew and tendons to tighten in response. As the orgasm ripped through you, your body became rigid with a few jerks of sensitivity.

Your eyes rolled back and you pressed your forehead against the side of Jungkook’s neck with the need to be as close to him as possible during your orgasm. Your ecstasy seared through you and overtook your body to act on its own accord. Far beyond the darkness of your eyelids, you reveled in the immense satisfaction, pussy spasming in the aftershocks.

Once Jungkook removed the showerhead and your body calmed, he slowly lowered you back down to the floor. Shaky legs prevented you from standing completely straight and you laughed breathlessly at how the prior activities caused an uncanny amount of oversensitivity in your nether regions.

One step forward and your clit was slightly rubbed, shooting sparks of mild pain and pussy-clenching pleasure throughout your stomach.

“You shouldn’t have done that, babe. I’m way too sensitive for any more action now.”

“That’s alright, love.” Jungkook kissed the side of your temple and switched you around so that he could stand under the stream of the shower. “Go and get dried off and dressed. I’ll meet you in the living room for a movie?”

As if it was glaring at you, you couldn’t help but drag your eyes down your boyfriend’s toned body to the angry red tip of his dick.

“I, uh…” You trailed off sheepishly. “I can suck you off? Let me help you out.”

“No, it’s okay, babe. Now, go.” He ushered you out of the shower while you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Why was he giving himself blue balls?

Leaving him alone in the shower was most definitely bothersome, but on shaky and fatigued legs, you couldn’t really fight him on the matter. As you toweled off and glanced through the shower door to look at Jungkook’s form, you furrowed your eyebrows even further when he didn’t start touching himself.

After you were dressed in his shirt- again- and sitting in the living room with Netflix open, ready for your boyfriend, you began to feel the exhaustion from your earlier activities on top of the fact that you hated waking up early for work. Comfortably warm, showered, and relaxed on an unexpected day off, the calm had your body sinking further into the couch and reveling in the warmth of the blanket placed over your body.

Just as you were about to drift off, you heard Jungkook padding down the hallway from your bedroom, prompting you to turn and look at him.

Your eyes had trouble staying on his playful expression when he was dressed the way he was dressed.

His hair was still wet, droplets dripping onto his shoulders and cascading down the expanse of his shirtless body. All that covered him was his favorite pair of raggedy joggers. Frankly, they were your favorite pair as well- for obvious reasons.

“Wine?” He asked as he made his way into the kitchen.

“Yesss.” You drawled with a newly awakened sense of excitement.

After grabbing two bottles and popping them open, he snuggled into the couch with you, wine glasses in hand. You held your breath and attempted to control your body, pussy pulsating slightly from the aftermath of the shower.

It took a while to get back to where you were before, but once you were much past the point of being giggly, you began to slur your speech as the movie played on.

Jungkook wasn’t in much better shape.

“You know,” Jungkook sat up and swayed a little too far forward, catching his body right before he toppled over. He snickered at himself before he continued. “I haven’t really been paying attention to anything we’ve been watching.”

“What?” You were honestly shocked, drunken mind and all. “But ‘About Time’ is so good! Like, what the heck Kookie-ookie-ook! This movie is so cute and interesting.”

The new nickname sent you into a fit of giggles. Your creativity tended to get a bit wonky and, honestly, comical when you were drunk.

“But how could I possibly pay attention to the movie when I’ve been thinking about burying my cum in-between your legs for the past hour?”

His statement surprised you to say the least. Your pussy throbbed uncontrollably, sensitivity still present from the shower. You couldn’t help but think of how sex with him in your current state would be.

“Why didn’t you let me suck your dick in the shower? I could’ve taken care of you, you know.”

“But I wanted to give you a break so that I could cum inside. That’s the only place I want to cum.”

“So you don’t want to cum down my throat?” You blamed the wine for the filthily honest statements coming out of both or your mouths. Speaking this casually about your sexual activities wasn’t exactly the norm.

“On any other day, I’d say yes. But today? I really just want to fill you up. Fuck you all day.” Your boyfriend inched towards you slowly without actually looking at you. It seemed that he just wanted to be in a closer proximity with you yet was hesitant to get too close. “Make you bloated. Hear it slosh around when you move.”

You were kind of mortified, but you were also extremely horny at the same time. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to bloat you nor would he be able to hear his cum inside of you, but it was the thought that counted.

“You wanna fuck?”

Jungkook turned to completely face you, chocolate-brown doe eyes silently pleading for the go-ahead. He bit his bottom lip before pushing it out into a pout as he whined. “Uhuh.”

You laughed as you threw off the blankets and spread your bare legs. Your boyfriend’s shirt came to rest on your waist from the action.

You gestured to your crotch and then curled your fingers towards yourself, smiling.

“Come to momma.”

Jungkook did not hesitate to cover you with his body and kiss you sloppily. The wine was taking its toll on your movements with him, encasing him in your hold lazily.

Somewhere between the messy tongues and teeth, Jungkook had managed to push your panties aside to thumb over your sensitivity. It took everything in you to not scream out- whether it would be a scream in pain or pleasure still had yet to be determined.

Your nub tingled desperately, pleasure-fatigued and vulnerable to the ministrations of Jungkook’s thumb. Finally, though, he had begun dipping his fingers into your core to balance out the bliss.

“Gonna paint you white. Make it drip.” Jungkook mumbled almost incoherently as he spoke with your bottom lip sucked between his plump ones. Your fingers threaded into his blonde locks, tugging when you needed a way to release your sexual frustration from his dirty words.

You hadn’t noticed when he retracted his fingers from your depths, but you definitely felt the sensation of him rubbing his dick into your folds. The smooth surface of his tip contrasted sharply with the roughness of the pad of his thumb. You hadn’t even realized that he had slipped the waistband of his sweatpants down to free his erection.

The sensation was beginning to sober you up just a little.

As he slipped inside you, you keened, angling your hips to receive him. He kept one hand hooked around your panties to keep it to the side and circled the other around your waist to allow himself to lay atop you. All of his body weight crushed you into the couch, but the closeness of him on you was gratifying.

Jungkook dug his face into your neck, moaning softly as your velvet walls parted to caress his cock. He wanted to feel your pussy drag on him and squeeze in an attempt to bring him back inside. He needed to feel how much your body enjoyed him inside of you.

So he kept his movements to a slow minimum, lazily curling his hips to just barely rear back so that he could reenter with an unmotivated rhythm. It was perfect for you because your mind was already warm and fuzzy, unable to keep up with much.

You sighed in relief, feeling his skin rubbing against your clit as he bottomed out time and time again. He separated your walls agonizingly slow, yet it was the perfect rhythm that allowed you to feel each time the head of his dick kissed the end of your cavern.

You moaned softly as the movie played on, begging for attention but receiving none. It was no use ignoring the fact that your orgasm was building with Jungkook’s hips touching your skin. Even at the leisurely pace that he fucked you, the passion was ever present and working you up.

For the next ten minutes, Jungkook kept his tempo gentle and relaxed, uncaring of reaching his climax too soon. You, on the other hand, reached your tipping point as he dug his nails into your waist.

Almost like a dream, your orgasm layered itself onto you softly. You trembled under his weight but held him closer to help accommodate the bliss of your muscles contracting around Jungkook’s deliberate thrusts.

When you heard the tell-tale sign of your boyfriend softly grunting into your skin, you could tell he was beginning to feel his impending orgasm born from your own. It was only moments later that he began leaving sloppy kisses and love bites onto your neck as he shuddered a breath.

Calm and still quite drunk, you still managed to feel his cock pulsing against the restrictive embrace of your depths. You ran your fingers through his hair and smiled delightfully at the sensation of being the one to receive his love and affection. The temptation to to kiss his sweaty temple was too strong to resist once he ceased moving and slumped against you.

The silence was peaceful. Minutes had passed without a word. The afterglow of your sex was strong and loving, warming the two of you like a blanket.

From the way he breathed so evenly, you believed that Jungkook had fallen asleep. It was only when he let out a light chuckle that you looked down and saw him smiling with his cheek smushed against your chest.

“I like drunk sex.” He muttered. “It’s fun.”

You had to agree with him on that one. “I think it’s fun too.”

After a beat, he whined. “But why do I still want moreee?”

“I’m afraid that’s not entirely up to you.” You tipped your head back and laughed, inebriated mind coming up with more silly nicknames. “It seems that Mister PP can’t take any more right now.”

Drunk Jungkook was one you could always get behind. Instead of acting like an idiot, he acted like a kid- not the bratty kind, of course. He was cute and cuddly, a perfect opposite to how he acted sober.

However-

The moment he attempted to retain his erection by pulling it out of you and yelling at it became one of the few moments that he acted like a complete idiot.

“No! He can go again! Isn’t that right, Mister PP?” You watched as his dick gave one last jerk of life before it began softening. You wheezed from laughter as your boyfriend’s eyes widened in horror. “No! You can’t do this to me right now! We were supposed to fuck her full of cum!”

“It’s okay, babe.” You reassured him as you slowly nudged him off of you so that you could go clean yourself. “Just take a break, okay?”

On shaky legs, once again, you stood and headed for the bathroom to clean yourself with a giggle slipping past your lips.

Once you got back to the living room, your eyes immediately zeroed in on Jungkook sitting upright on the couch, tenderly stroking his dick through his sweatpants with a look of defeat on his face. You just sighed and grabbed the remote to turn up the volume of the TV in hopes of distracting him.

He couldn’t help it. He was much too drunk to get himself hard again so soon after sex, so you would wait until he was since he was so determined.

The movie as well as your second bottle of wine were coming to an end when he screamed in success. You jumped out of your skin at the exclamation, placing a hand over your racing heart.

“Yes! He did it! He’s back!” You looked at him in shock when he reached into his waistband to grip himself. His eyes locked with yours as he did so, smirking in the process.

You raised an eyebrow at him expectantly, yet below your cool exterior was the unavoidable truth that was the awakening of the flames of your desire.

“Is this why you called me out today?” You turned your whole body to face him. “So you could fuck me all day?”

“Mhm.” He affirmed, grabbing you and slowly turning you onto your stomach. “That’s exactly why. I just need to be inside you. Like, all the time.”

As you felt him slide your panties down your legs, the tone in his voice changed. The chuckle he let out wasn’t nearly cute and innocent anymore; his demeanor became dark and menacing.

“I called you out so that I could fuck you all day- in every way I could think of.”

A shiver ran up your spine at the sudden shift of mood. Your body, worn out and exhausted, still managed to vibrate in excitement when Jungkook took a handful of your ass and squeezed it harshly. He leaned over your body to whisper in your ear after running a hand under your shirt to tweak a nipple between his fingers.

“You got the lazy vanilla shit first. Now, let’s play.”

~#~

If you’d like to read more of my work, feel free to check out my Masterlist!

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook oneshot #bts smut #bts oneshot #jungkook x reader #smut #boyfriend!jungkook #established relationship #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bangtan #blonde jungkook #jungkook au #bts au #jungkook fluff #bts fluff

[miyalove]

⋆｡˚⁀➷ WRAPPED UP.

⤷ pairing. ceo!kuroo tetsuro x (female) secretary!reader

⤷ genre. fluff, smut, office au, friends with benefits au

⤷ warnings. swearing, taboo relationship, the use of princess as a nickname, possessiveness, messy sex, rough sex, begging, brief mentions of degradation, ass slapping, ass groping, teasing, (unexpected) sir kink, manhandling, dom!kuroo, sub!reader, power play, spitting, consumption of another person’s spit, lingerie, dirty talk, penetrative sex, sex without a condom (please be safe, kids), *unedited

⤷ note. this might be one of the dirtiest things i have EVER written... so i hope you enjoy! and of course, happy valentines day ♡

1.6k | what's a better valentine’s day gift for your boss than yourself?

the relationship you and kuroo have is a bit taboo. the secretary and the ceo. with the way you sway your hips with a little more emphasize when you leave his office, the way you laugh at all his jokes, the way your body dip downs (ass in the air looking absolutely perfect) to grab at fallen papers. of course, something was going to happen. you were practically betting on it. 

but of course, it takes two to start the devil’s conga line.

it was kuroo who wanted you to stay later than usual. only you and him in his big office space and yet he urged you to stay, big hands rubbing at the inside of your thighs. it was him who insisted on how sexy you looked in the middle of meetings; your hair neatly tucked behind your ears, lips pouted and a fire behind your eyes that would make any man weak. it was kuroo that guided you to his desk, smile bright and eyes glowing with mischief because he knows he’s got you right where he wants you. you can’t complain though, you want it too. 

he grabs at your waist turning you around so your thighs are firmly pressed against his desk. the lace you have on perfectly shapes your body. it presses at your delicate skin, digging and reaching into all the places kuroo wishes he could touch. he swears he could stare at you all day like this; bent over, dripping pussy on display just for him.

this was different though.

no matter how many times you walked in his office with your alluring eyes. kuroo prided himself on being professional. there was a natural attraction between the two of you, that much is obvious, but for the sake of his company, kuroo never made a move. the feeling of belittlement against you for ‘sleeping your way up’ would make him stay awake at night with guilt. however, tonight things were different. maybe it was the fact that this was your first valentines together or maybe fate just has a really niche sense of humor, but whatever the case; you’re still sopping wet and begging to be fucked.

his hands roam your body. he moves slowly, studying every curve and dip like you’re the latest from leonardo de vinci. ah yes, the redness from when i smacked her ass contrast perfectly to the color of her eyes. you’re beautiful. he desperately craves to say it but the words die on his tongue before he can speak. instead, he lets his actions talk.

“it’s too bad these have to go, princess.” a single finger traces your lace cladded entrance. the action alone has you whimpering. “i’ll buy you another set though.” you feel him shift from behind, body leaning down to press a chaste kiss to the small of your back. 

one of his hands snake up to your neck, yanking at the roots of your tresses. the force makes you gasp. a mixture of pain, shock, and pleasure rushes through you. your head whips back in an uncomfortable position, but you’re able to see kuroo’s perfectly sculptured face, so really you have no complaints. “how do you feel about red?” 

the sound of fabric ripping in half has you concern, at first. but kuroo tetsuro, for as long as you’ve known him has been a no bullshit kind of man. he teases and jokes but when it comes down to business, he’s a cutthroat beast. so it makes sense for him to move on as fast as he came.

there’s no time for you to wonder in astonishment at how he throws your (now useless) panties across his office. he’s already pulling out his cock and sinking into you until his body presses right against your back. naturally, your lips part into a pout that’s wrapped around a wanton moan. the stretch is sensational and the burn evens out the euphoria. he feels you up so well. you can feel his cock rub up against your walls, reaching spots within you that have never been touched by anyone else before. you understand now why your boss is no play and all business. when kuroo needs to, he’s not afraid to get down and dirty just like right now.

“this cunt was made for me.” is what he purrs into your ear. it’s embarrassing how much that affects you. the mere idea of being his has you clenching around his huge cock. his free hand rubs at your back, grabbing at the supple flesh on your ass. you can feel his nails dig into you, the coldness from his rings slightly soothing the pain.

“this ass was made for me too.” and to further cement his claim, he delivers a particularly hard thrust at the same time he smacks at your cheeks. the movement makes you fly forward, papers and other (probably very important things) slide off the top of his desk, but you don’t have time to care. not when the man of your dreams is fucking you so good. you’ll worry about the crumpled up project approval papers later. 

“god, and that mouth.” he shifts to the side. the pressure on your head heightens while he pulls at your ends. your neck feels stiff and his thrust begin to shallow. his ring cladded fingers draw at your jaw, thumb playing with the entrance of your mouth. 

“this pretty little mouth.” his lips brush against your own. his breath fans across your face. he’s so close to kissing you in fact if you moved just an inch closer you would– a fat glob of spit cuts you off. the sudden action made you flinch at first but kuroo made it very clear you could tell him to stop at anytime. his saliva comes down from his long tongue and slots within your mouth perfectly. 

he clamps your jaw shut and you have no choice but to swallow him whole. “good girl, just like that.” he coaxes you while petting at your crown. when you finally open your mouth and all of him is gone, kuroo swears he could cum right then and there. 

“you’re so fucking sexy. holy shit.” his shallow thrust began to get more punctuated now. you can’t hear anything besides the slapping of skin-on-skin contact. you don’t hear kuroo’s phone ringing for the third time. you don’t hear the bustling street life just below tetsuro’s flamboyant row of glass windows. all you can focus on is the intense pleasure that pumps through your veins. it makes you see stars with every thrust, makes your legs shake with every murmur of pretty girl. the white hot coil within you is thinning. it’s about to snap, you can feel it.

“te– tetsuro, please?”

“please, what, princess?” his voice is strained. he’s close too. 

“please, can i come, sir?”

he can’t believe it. he must have died in the middle of the day and ended up in some kind of sex heaven with you as the starring role (not that he’s complaining). he has the a fantastic view of your ass bouncing, you swallow him down like the pretty slut you are, and you respond perfectly with every little touch, every little action. you’re perfect is what he concludes.

“fuck, yes.” his fingers dig into your sides. his grip is like a vice on your skin as he shoves himself deeper within you. “cum for me, princess.” 

you feel his dick twitch and seconds later he’s cummings with a shaky sigh. you’re finally able to let go, you come at around the same time, milking his cock for every last drop. kuroo takes it upon himself to fuck you through your orgasm, a little slower this time, but it still has you breaking down. 

he remembers the way you sauntered into his office, skirt a little too short and eyes practically begging for him. you must have known something was going to happen. there’s no way you just wear pretty pink lace to your everyday job. no, today was a special day for you and apparently for him too. when things finally get too much, kuroo tucks his softened cock back into his pants.

you’re hair is messy. it’s matted from all the sweat and tangled from all the times kuroo raked through your locks and pulled. your chest rises and falls quickly and your eyes are closed trying to concentrate. the blissful veil of sex is finally settling and yet you still look as gorgeous as ever. he’s left there staring at you like you’re the only thing that matters to him. like he wouldn’t mind waking up everyday to your face weather you’re smiling up at him or snoring up a storm. 

when you shift to hop of the desk is when he finally makes a move. he grabs onto your waist, trying his hardest to steady himself so you’re able to balance too. your feet hit the floor and your legs feel like they’re gonna give out at any moment. they wobble under your weight. you can’t help but laugh. it’s a sweet, melodious tone that’s a little scratchy from your... previous actions, but still, he thinks it fits.

“what’s gotten you so giggly?” he guides you to one of his plush office chairs. as you walk, your body remains flesh against his.

“i just–,” your hues lock onto kuroo’s dark ones. “i wouldn’t mind if we did this again, yanno?” 

he smiles down at you watching while you readjust your skirt back over your legs. you bend forward with you’re ass in the air. you must be doing it on purpose, he knows with the way you comically wiggle your hips. and he nods, “yes, i wouldn’t mind that either.”

#hqradiostation #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hq #hq!! #haikyuu smut #hq smut #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo smut #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro smut #haikyuu x reader

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

If I Go Universe - Tattoos All In Black (Rick Flag x OC)

Summary: Rick has several tattoos, but there are three that he is particularly fond of.

Pairing: Rick Flag x OC (Delphia Holman)

Word Count: 2320

Warnings: language, the fluffiest fluff to ever fluff, too much love maybe, breastfeeding stuff

Timeline: 2016 | 2019 | 2023

if i go masterlist

2016

The mission had been a brutal one. Many team members died, they still failed despite their best efforts, and Rick had been injured — a stab wound to his side that had left Delphia sitting at the edge of her seat in the control room.

He was back home now, stitched up and resting in bed. Delphia had made sure to make him a healthy dinner, bringing it to bed for him. He smacked her hands away with a grin when she tried to spoon feed him, telling her he was fully capable of doing this bit himself. After she cleaned up the kitchen, she went back to the bedroom and put on one of his favorite movies. But neither of them really paid attention to the screen. As soon as she laid down beside him, Rick was pulling her to practically lay on top of him — right hand tracing over her back as he closed his eyes.

His left arm was propped up behind his head, keeping him in an upright position. Delphia’s eyes danced over his face, thanking whatever was out there that he was back home with her and safe. He was nearly like a renaissance panting. The way his muscles curved and caught the light, her eyes were simply drawn to follow. To trace the curve of his strong neck, down across his collarbone that she loved to kiss, up his tricep to his —

“What the fuck is that?”

Delphia scooted up his chest, eyebrows furrowed and mouth dropped open in confusion. He had a new tattoo. The skin surrounding the black ink was still pink and irritated. And it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever seen in her life.

“What? What?” Rick’s eyes suddenly snapped open, looking around the room like there was a threat he needed to eliminate.

She poked him in the arm, right on the tattoo that was so fresh it made him wince. “That! What the fuck is that!”

Still confused, he looked towards his inner arm and immediately blushed, eyes shifting to understanding as he looked over at her sheepishly. He had to admit, it wasn’t the best tattoo he had ever gotten. SKWAD in stark black ink, crooked letters and shaky lines, was now splattered across his inner bicep.

“A tattoo?” He tried to play it off.

“Uh — no, no, this is a new tattoo. When the hell did you get it and why?”

Delphia was not backing down, as he should have guessed she would. She got nose to skin with the tattoo and then looked over at him like he had lost his mind. The comedy of it was not lost on either of them, as giggles began to bubble out of each of their mouths.

“We had — We had some — “ Rick tried to speak around his laughter, coughed, then tried again. “We had some down time on the mission, got kinda drunk. Lawson practically dragged me into a tattoo shop and gave it to me.”

“Deadshot? Deadshot gave you this tattoo?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, my God.” She looked back at it with a dumbfounded smile. “He didn’t even spell it right.”

Rick’s brow furrowed as he finally craned his neck to get a good look at his new ink. Something he had apparently not done until just now. He groaned loudly as he looked at it clearly for the first time, smoothing his fingers over the flesh and then flopping back onto his pillow.

“Son of a bitch.”

Laughing so hard there were literal tears streaming down her face, Delphia rolled onto her back beside him. Her legs tangled up in the sheets, her arms crooked up at her chest as she hid her face in her pillow. Trying so very hard to stop laughing but finding that she couldn’t. The situation was just too good to be true. Rick got drunk, let a criminal give him a tattoo, and hadn’t even taken the time to look at what had been permanently marked on his body until just now.

“God, that’s so fucking funny,” Delphia sighed as her laughter reduced to sparse giggles, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“You are such a little shit,” Rick chuckled as he pinched her side, forcing her to scramble away from him to the edge of the bed.

“What? I’m not the one who got something put on my body forever by a master assassin!” She smacked at his hand as he tried to pinch her again.

Rick lifted his arm and looked at the tattoo again with a sigh. “I still like it though. Reminds me of everybody we’ve lost. Keeps ‘em alive in some way.”

Delphia’s expression softened. “I can’t make fun of you for that.”

“Come over here,” Rick said with a smile, opening up his arms to her.

She instantly dove into him, snuggled into his uninjured side. Just like how she was always supposed to be.

2019

Delphia woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, the warm summer sun streaming in through their bedroom window. It was one of those mornings where she really didn’t want to get out of bed. The past week was tough at work. Waller was extra cranky and extra demanding, nearly pushing Delphia to the brink of tears even though her assistant was entirely used to her attitude. But despite the blankets pulling her in like quicksand, she managed to pull herself from the mattress and wander her way into the kitchen.

Rick was standing at the stove wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and nothing else. The sunlight from the living room window was splashed across his back, making his tan skin seem to glow in an ethereal sort of way that made her sigh. The muscles of his back worked this way and that as he flipped the pancakes and turned out the bacon. The man loved his breakfast food — always made sure she ate one before work. And today was no exception.

“Mornin’, baby girl,” his gruff, sleep soaked voice called to her over his shoulder.

“Good morning,” she whispered back as she tiptoed further into the space.

She was drawn to him like a moth to the flame. Knowing it would be the death of her but honestly? What a beautiful way to go. She didn’t go for the coffee like her body desperately craved, instead she went straight to Rick. Wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed him so tight it made a chuckle burst out of his lips.

“That rough, huh?” he asked, smoothing one large hand over her forearm as he checked the underside of the pancakes currently cooking.

All she could do was nod against his spine. She vaguly remembered coming home late from a meeting the night before. Rick forced her to eat something, she couldn’t even recall what, before collapsing into bed. Waller really had been testing her limits all week long. But it was done now. She no longer had to think about it. At least for another forty-eight hours, they were both free of Belle Reve.

It was comforting to feel the heat of Rick’s skin beneath her cheek, like a furnace burning in her arms. She made a noise nearly like a purr as she burrowed herself deeper into him, hands coming up to scratch lightly at his chest. Her eyes opened after a moment, content and relaxed for what felt like the first time in a long time.

And that was when she spotted it.

There, on his left shoulder, was her name scrawled across his skin in permanent ink. It had never looked so beautiful. As she looked at it, her heart was beginning to feel like it was too big for her chest — tears welled up in her eyes as her eye danced over the swirling letters. He really did love her, didn’t he? Loved her enough to have her name on him forever. Not even in a place he could see but so that everyone else would know that she had him, body and soul. With a breath to control her emotions, mostly her tears, she unhooked an arm from around his waist and brought the tips of her fingers up to trace the tattoo.

“This one’s new,” she whispered, sounding breathless.

Rick looked over his shoulder, a grin quirking his lips and one eyebrow raised.

“Like it?” he asked.

“I love it.” With a grin she planted a kiss between his shoulder blades. “You’re too sweet to me, Colonel Flag.”

“I don’t think I could ever be sweet enough, baby girl.”

2023

Infant wails rang through the midnight air. Delphia stirred in her deep slumber, brain barely able to register that her son was crying in his room down the hall. But soon enough, her body was kicking her into gear — swollen breasts leaking at the sound of her child calling out to her.

“Ah, shit,” she mumbled as she sat up in bed, blearily rubbing at her eyes.

For a moment she was confused. Rick wasn’t in bed. The covers on his side of the bed were thrown back and an indent left in his pillow where his head should be. She touched the sheets, wondering where he could’ve gone, and they were still warm. He hadn’t been up for long. Leo’s cries echoed anew, somehow louder and more distinct, and Delphia finally pulled herself from bed. He was probably hungry. At three months old he was guzzling down milk like it was his job. Which it kind of was. He was a big baby, a “chunky monkey” as Harley liked to call him, and he was only going to get bigger. He was healthy and strong and slept through the night and honestly Delphia and Rick couldn’t have asked for a better son.

Delphia thumped down the hall, still trying to rub the sleep from her eyes, but when she rounded the corner into the nursery she stopped. She couldn’t go a single step further, even though her breasts ached to feed her baby, because the sight before her was just too sweet.

Rick stood in his briefs by the large windows that overlooked the backyard, curtains pulled back to reveal the dark night sky. He held Leo close to his chest, swaying back and forth to try and get him to stop crying and go back to sleep. His efforts were valiant, but to no avail — Leo continued to wriggle and scream. Leo was a big baby, but he looked so tiny wrapped up in his father’s arms.

“Come on, big guy, your momma’s gotta get some sleep,” Rick muttered as he continued to rock and bounce the baby.

“Momma’s already awake,” Delphia spoke quietly as she walked further into the room.

Rick turned to her with apologetic eyes. “Sorry, baby girl. I tried.”

“S’okay — you don’t have the boobs he’s looking for.”

She smiled up at him softly as she pulled Leo out of his grasp, his open, crying mouth already seeking out her nipple to latch on to. Shushing him, she lowered herself into the recliner in the corner. She lifted up her damp shirt and Leo latched onto her breast easily. She remembered with dread those first few weeks where getting him to breast feed was a herculean task. But now it was as easy as breathing for both of them. Leo’s cries slowly turned to whimpers as he drank from her greedily.

“He did try it with me, though,” he said as he watched them.

Delphia looked up from Leo’s chubby cheeked face and smiled. “Really? Would’ve liked to see that.”

Rick chuckled softly with a shake of his head. “Mind if I stay?”

“Course not, baby.”

He settled down on the floor, back leaned against the recliner next to her legs, with a quiet groan. She remembered too, during the beginning when feeding Leo made her cry in frustration nearly every single time, that Rick always wanted to be there. He would grumble at her when she wouldn’t wake him up in the middle of the night for a feeding. He knew he couldn’t help much, but he wanted to be there in case she needed anything. She remembered him telling her once that as she struggled to get Leo to latch, as those frustrated tears streamed down her face and their son cried, he had never felt so useless in his entire life. So now, even when everything was routine and practically effortless, he still liked to be near when she breastfed.

Delphia watched her son for a moment, a tired smile crooking her lips as she let his little fingers wrap around one of her own. His grip was tight for only being three months old. A trait from his dad she had to guess. At that thought, she looked at the back of Rick’s head.

His hair was a mess, all tussled from sleep. One of his knees was bent, arm propped up on it as he gazed out the window to the stars outside. And it was there, bathed in pale moonlight, that she saw Leo’s name freshly tattooed into his right shoulder. It was simple and clean and purposefully placed near the top crest of his shoulder just in case there were more names to add.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled her fingers from Leo’s grasp and traced the letters inked into her husband’s skin. Followed the line of each stroke and line. He didn’t flinch when she touched him. Rick simply turned his head to look at her with an earnestness and love that she felt right down to her very bones. It was the three of them now. Together — always.

“I love you, Rick Flag,” she whispered to him.

“Love you too, Dee.”

Taglist (if you would like to be tagged in future installments just let me know!): @bbygrgu @a-reader-and-a-writer @slayerx147 @xoxabs88xox @kasey-puff @witchygagirl @the-pink-petite-princess @blooo0ooop @woodlandmouth @csigeoblue @rexorangecouny @h-hxgirl @thisisthewayrose @blondiekook @darkestbeforethedawn16 @runic-belova @weallhaveadestiny @oopsiedoopsie23 @nerdgrrlramblings @ocfairygodmother @reysorigins @hawsx3

#rick flag #colonel rick flag #rick flag x oc #rick flag x delphia holman #rick flag imagine #rick flag fanfiction #rick flag fanfic #rick flag fic #suicide squad #the suicide squad #suicide squad x oc #suicide squad imagine #suicide squad fanfiction #suicide squad fanfic #suicide squad fic #joel kinnaman #joel kinnaman imagine #dceu oc #dceu x oc #dceu imagine #dceu fanfiction #dceu fanfic #dceu fic #ocappreciation

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards (Pt. VI)

(Technoblade X Reader) Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII, Pt. V, Pt. VI, Pt. VII

    You had barely gotten any sleep that night, it was a shitty time to not sleep but you couldn’t control insomnia. Most nights it was Techno who was the insomniac, he would spend hours laying awake just staring at you waiting for the voices to quiet down for the night. He was in awe of your beauty and grace, and the nighttime moonlight only ever enhanced those features. You couldn’t help but understand what he was talking about as you stared at his features in the moonlight darkness of your room. His hair was out of its typical braid and framed his head like a pink halo, you felt his arms tighten around your waist as you tucked his hair behind his ear. The tension in his brow released feeling your touch brush against his skin and you smiled adoringly at the sight. His nose nuzzles up against your neck and your smile split into a wide grin, god he was so soft. You felt his fingers spread out against the small of your back and pull you flush against him, his breathing changed and you frowned. 

You didn’t expect anything less than the blood god to be a light sleeper. He always needed to be on his feet, ready for any attack. 

   “I didn’t mean to wake you,” your voice was barely above a whisper and he made a tired noise of confirmation. 

   “It’s okay,” He yawned and it echoed across the walls of the house like a lion’s roar. “It’s rare when you can’t sleep, what’s on your mind?” Technoblade shifted a little so he could get a good look at you in his arms, he could never get over how small you were in comparison to him. You flipped on your back much to his displeasure and dragged your hands down your face; a sigh came from your nose before you answered,

   “Thinking about tomorrow is all. Just nervous, typical stuff I think, I don’t trust Dream fully. He gives me bad vibes.” You said honestly, your (e/c) eyes staring up at the ceiling even from the angle Techno was looking at you he could tell they were sad. God, he wasn’t good at comforting people things like this made him feel like such a shitty person. 

   “I don’t trust him either. But, we have mutual goals and a mutual understanding both of which are hard to come by.” He explained briefly looking thoughtful, “the bottom line is this needs to happen. I don’t want you to worry because Phil and I will have your back no matter what, we look out for each other.” You flopped on top of him and he let out a grunt of displeasure,

   “I’m worried about you dummy.” 

   “Technoblade never dies baby what are you on about?” He let out a laugh as you rested your elbows on his chest, his hands found themselves on your back holding you close. He watched you roll your eyes dramatically and pinch at his ears, he clicked his tongue at you. “Keep pinching my ears like that and we’re gonna have to fight it out,” his lips twitched into a fond smile as you sat upon his hips holding up your fists. 

   “Then let’s fight cause I’m not gonna stop. They’re just too pinchable big guy. Your little piglin features are precious and I’m gonna dote over them.” His face burned red and he groaned loudly, his head landing against the pillows with a thump. 

   “It’s just the ears, teeth, and the height. You’re being gross.” 

   “Fuck you I’m being romantic.” 

   “Which is gross and cringe if you didn’t know.” 

   “Fine then I guess you won’t be getting any kisses from me for a long while.” 

   “Now hold on a minute let's talk about this like adults,” You laughed loudly and smirked at Techno’s attempts to keep cool about the situation. You leaned down and peppered his face with light kisses, he hummed pleasantly at the sensation. 

   “I’ll let it slide this time but watch your words.” Techno gave a sleepy nod of his head, and you smiled tenderly at the man. You shuffled around and curled up against his side, he adjusted himself to hold you close, “I love you Techno.” 

   “Love you too princess.” He pecked your forehead before he closed his eyes and fell back into a light sleep. You took a deep breath and buried your face in his chest listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart, this time however you weren’t far behind him.

~~~

Technoblade was up as soon as the sun rose over the hills and spilled into your bedroom. He made sure to maneuver around you so that he wouldn’t wake you as soon as he sat up in bed. He stretched his arms behind his back until he heard the satisfying pop of his bones, he scratched at his head and tousled his pink hair. Techno wanted an early start, make sure everything they needed for the day was prepared and ready to go, he needed to brew a shit ton of potions. He also needed to make sure you had an appropriate set of armor, that’s not even mentioning the Withers he needed to gather. A lot to do and so little time to get it all done, he wanted to let you sleep as much as possible considering you didn’t sleep last night. He slid out of bed and grabbed his hairbrush, one thing he could attribute to meeting you was his hygiene habits. Techno always used to keep his hair in a braid and never touch it, it wasn’t until you had first run your hands through his hair that he realized how much of a problem that was. You were very nice about it but he could tell you were trying not to gag when he told you he couldn’t remember the last time it was unbraided. You assured him that was going to change and helped him nurse his hair back to life, whatever you did it was magical. His hair was just as soft as yours, healthy and shiny he couldn’t let you down by not taking care of it. However, since he was going into battle he threw his hair into a quick braid letting it fall over his shoulder before he majestically sat his crown on top of his head. 

Technoblade stared at himself in the mirror and traced his rough hands over the scars on his face and neck, he had no idea what the fuck you saw in him. Honestly, who cares though because by some miracle you love him for him and that’s all that matters. Technoblade continued to get dressed for the day and only stopped when you began to stir under the covers. He watched you sit up and give the cutest yawn he’s ever heard in his life his eyes softened considerably seeing you look around hazily for him. Spotting him you opened your arms and made grabby hands, he let out a deep chuckle and wrapped his arms around you. 

‘Simp. Stop spamming simp. He is a simp though, look at him melt. Shut up.’ 

   “Chat shut it...Morning Princess,” He kissed your lips softly and he felt you lazily kiss him back, still sluggish from sleep. 

   “Morning Bubs. Why didn’t you wake me up?” You complained from his arms only pulling away to look him in the eyes. He always thought you had the most gorgeous eyes, why was he feeling so lovey-dovey today? 

‘Cause, you could lose her today. Her lives are unknown. What if she only has one like Phil and has no idea and she dies? E.’ 

Those thoughts and ideas chilled him to the bone he swallowed thickly, “You sure I can’t change your mind about today?” He watched your brow furrow and you kissed your teeth,

   “No way. Till the end of the line remember?”

   “Oh, I remember. In that case,” Technoblade pulled you to your feet much to your surprise, “You come back to me uninjured, we get married.” He watched your jaw drop and your eyes widen to insane sizes. “If you want obviously, no pressure.” 

‘WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. AWWWWW SO ROMANTIC! SIMP. SHE’S GOING TO SAY NO. LOSER. CRINGE. GUYS STOP HE’S BEING SWEET!’ 

He felt panic surge through him when you didn’t respond to him for a good few minutes, oh he fucked up. Technoblade never dies, more like Technoblade’s about to throw himself into lava three fucking times. 

   “Yes! Holy shit yes you idiot! Damn now that’s some motivation!” You laughed in disbelief and you bounced on your toes. Technoblade let out a breath of relief, he took a risk and it paid off, he was Technoblade after all so of course, it did. He wasn’t worried at all. You grabbed the fluff of his cape and pulled him down to kiss him passionately, his hands grabbed your hips and lifted you into the air. He knew it wasn’t official yet, as he said you had to come back okay, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate at least a little bit early. He kissed down your face and listened as you giggled, he could tell your face was turning red by its heat, “Okay goober we gotta get ready. There are crimes we gotta commit and I still need to shower.”  

   “Nonsense you smell like lavender and’ all that other girly stuff.” Technoblade scoffed but pulled away as you requested. A smile fell across your face and he felt you poke his nose fondly, “I’ll be gathering potion materials, if you need me just holler.” On that note, he headed down the ladder to gather what he needed for the day. Phil would probably be joining momentarily and he’d put him on potion making duty and also give him a totem of undying. His stomach churned a little as he placed water bottles inside the brewing stands, his singular totem of undying. 

He had already decided he’d give it to Phil, if he didn’t he felt like it would be a betrayal of all the man had done for him in the past. 

Technoblade turned towards the window and saw Phil approaching his home from the sky, he opened the window and gave him a little wave. Phil smiled back at him and climbed the stairs to get inside the house, “Hello. Are you both ready for today?” Phil looked around seemingly trying to spot you, Technoblade pointed upstairs and he nodded in understanding. 

   “I wouldn’t say we’re ready exactly.” He let out a huff, “I’m trying to make triple the potions before Dream gets here, plus I wanna make sure (Y/N)’s weapons and armor are enchanted properly.” Phil hummed thoughtfully opening up some of Technoblade’s chests, only mentally gagging at the disorganization. 

   “I got your back brewing the potions, go double-check everything’s ready for (Y/N), I know you worry ‘bout her mate.” Techno had to turn away because he felt heat flare in his face, he heard Phil begin to snicker and he glowered. 

   “Imagine thinking I care about others, cringe.” 

   “Oh really? I’ll just go tell (Y/N) that then-”

   “Eh? No need to do that. I don’t appreciate being framed. Anyway, potions Phil, potions you need to focus on what’s important here.” Another laugh came from Phil as he rolled his eyes fondly at his friend. 

   “On it Techno.” 

Both men got to work brewing potions and double-checking weaponry, not just for you but for all of them. Well, all of you minus Dream the homeless man can fend for himself. In the meantime, Technoblade gave Phil his totem of undying just in case today went fucking wrong. 

   “Alright boys, what do you need me to do?” You announced climbing down the ladder, you had made sure your hair was out of the way so it wouldn’t be a distraction. Technoblade smiled as he watched the emerald he gave you those months ago bounce against your neck. 

   “Go make sure you have enough ender pearls and exp bottles for your armor. Is all your armor enchanted properly?” 

   “Obviously,” You rolled your eyes dramatically “as if you’d ever let me get away with subpar armor.” Technoblade held up his hands in defensively, 

   “Just making sure. You can’t blame me for wanting you protected.” 

   “Daw.”

   “Shut up Phil.” Technoblade watched a smile form across your face as you covered your mouth with your hand. He was just happy you were laughing, “grab your weapons lemme check them.” You nodded your head and kissed his cheek tenderly, he normally wasn’t one for PDA but Phil was a different story. You handed over your weapons to him and he looked over them, he started with your sword that was aptly titled The Wanderer’s Trade all the enchantments seemed to line up properly, he also double-checked your ax to see it lined up too. “Remember their shields go up you use your ax.” He watched as you nodded in response, you weren’t dumb he knew that but he couldn’t help but want to double-check strategies with you. 

   “I know you trained me well,” You hummed fondly, as he handed you back your ax. He watched as you twirled it in your hands, “Good ole’ Foster Mom won’t let me down.” Both Phil and Techno chuckled at your response, Technoblade gave you a loving pat on the head before sending you off to gather some more glowstone. The three of you spent the rest of the morning gathering supplies, and as the afternoon rolled around Technoblade felt himself grow more and more frantic as the time ticked closer to doomsday. He began to ramble a bit about needing to prepare things especially after Dream showed up early and announced they were going early into L’manberg. Dream explained that he was going to need about twenty minutes to prepare the TNT for the cannons, which meant (Y/N), Phil, and Technoblade himself needed to stall for that amount of time. 

That meant the Withers needed to be in play. 

Technoblade distributed Wither skulls and the soul sand between the three of you. 

He watched as you stared at the skull in your hands gently cradling it before putting it into your inventory. He hoped you were being honest and were okay with what was about to happen. 

   “Now we really have to go.” Dream tried to urge your little group to speed up and get this show on the road. Techno nodded his head and clicked his tongue against his teeth, 

   “Alright, first things first let we need to get the hound army.” He watched your entire face come alight, 

   “Hound army? You didn’t tell me we had puppies!” He felt you grip his arm with the enthusiasm of a child, he winced a little bit at your eagerness. Techno glanced at Dream who was just as unreadable as always with his mask but Techno could sense his patience with you running thin. 

   “I didn’t wanna tell you cause there’s a good chance we lose like all of them today.” He watched you deflate but nod in understanding, “so don’t get attached okay?” 

   “I won’t!” 

   “Let’s go. Time’s ticking.” Dream commanded tapping his boots on the floor, “Let’s get those dogs and get to L’manberg.” The four of you grabbed your weapons and headed down the steps of Technoblade’s house, hopefully, you all will come back to see it again. 

---

Phil walked by your side as Technoblade led all of you through the sewers, Dream was close to your boyfriend’s side almost like he was trying to memorize the proper twists and turns. However, something told you he already knew this place like the back of his hand. 

   “What’s on your mind?” Phil asked you to keep his voice low to not draw attention to yourselves. Smiling over at him you gave a thoughtful hum, 

   “Just the typical worries I suppose. Hoping we win and no one who we care about dies, like the kids you know. I know I can’t control you, Techno, or Dream but if it came down to it I won’t be able to hurt them.” The look you gave him was nothing less than vulnerable and it touched his heart with a soft sigh he responded to you, 

   “I know it’s not specifically in Techno or my agenda to slaughter Tommy and Tubbo. We just want to take down the corrupt government that’s poisoning its citizens. As long as it stands those kids can never be happy.”

   “I’m with you there. Hell, I don’t think Techno and I could date if we didn’t share those ideologies. They made a child president for Pete’s sake I mean no wonder it’s falling apart.” You took a deep breath and nudged the old man beside you. “Even so my priorities are with you and Technoblade. We’re all fucking coming home if I have any say in the matter,” Phil gave a laugh and smiled at you. 

   “That’s a fucking relief to hear. Wasn’t aware you could control death.”

   “Says the man with a totem of undying.” 

   “Guys we’re here,” Technoblade called standing beside a wall, he looked at all of you and opened the stone with his pickaxe. “Meet the hounds,” He mused leading you inside, you were trying desperately to keep your excitement at bay. 

   “Holy shit is it loud.” Dream commented with a disbelieving laugh hearing all the dogs bark in excitement upon seeing their master. Technoblade scratched a few of them behind the ears before commanding all of them to stand, it was insane. 

   “That’s so many dogs they’re gonna be so confused.” You commented, 

   “You know what you should do?” Dream mused, turning to look at you, “splash them with invisibility.” 

   “Already ahead of you,” Technoblade mused as Philza began to splash a good chunk of them. “They’re gonna be so confused it’s gonna be so funny. When they get hit by nothing, it’ll be like I have a forcefield.” 

   “Let's get to L’manberg and surprise them first.” Dream motioned for all of you to follow, and you did without hesitation. Technoblade took your hand and squeezed it tightly, he watched as Phil and Dream went on ahead and he turned to give you a soft kiss. 

   “Don’t die on me, okay princess? You get into trouble protecting yourself, run if you have to. I don’t give a shit I just want you alive.” Technoblade commanded you, even wagged a finger in front of your face. A finger you grabbed and pressed a soft kiss to, 

   “Same to you. I’ll see you on the other side.” Technoblade smiled adoringly at you and you both moved to catch up with Dream and Phil. You pulled out The Wanderer’s Trade and made sure Foster Mom, your ax, and the materials to craft your Withers were at the ready. 

    “(Y/N), Phil when I shoot fireworks into the sky start spawning the Withers. I’m going straight in with the hounds.” He watched both of you nod, Dream let out a hum of acknowledgment. 

   “Sounds good to me. Remember I shouldn’t need more than twenty minutes, I’ll send Technoblade the signal.” 

   “Yes sir.” You gave a teasing salute and no one else seemed amused by that except for the green man himself. 

   “I could get used to that.”

   “Get the fuck out of here you homeless Teletubby.” Techno almost snarled at the man, while the man in question flipped your boyfriend off. Even Phil could tell he had a sickening smirk spread across his face, whether he meant it or not if it bothered the three of you he was gonna continue with it. 

    “Phil, I’ll sneak over to the houses, you gonna stay in this general vicinity?” You quickly changed the subject, the man nodded in response. 

   “I’ll probably stay on top of the bee sanctuary, I figure two people in the air and one on the ground will be a good call.” You nodded taking one last glance at Technoblade before sneaking off to prepare the high ground. 

---

Technoblade sprinted right into the battle once everyone realized you all were there early. He felt the pressure begin to build in his head, as the voices began to buzz with excitement, they all demanded blood and vengeance. He wasn’t losing any lives today but that didn’t mean anyone else was, it was hilarious the moment he hit anyone his dogs would be at their heels tearing them apart. He stayed on top of everyone, he made sure to keep an eye on his hearts while slicing through his opponents. As they got distracted by his dogs he would come up behind them and drive his sword into their chest. His laughter echoed in the air as the names of the dead appeared in his head, he heard their pleading for a cease-fire and decided he didn’t give a single shit. Technoblade couldn’t find the energy to care for their pleas, even as his dogs began to thin rapidly. There was blood and there was pandemonium and he was living for it, sure there were a few close calls. Not that he would ever admit it, but Sapnap got him good in the shoulder and the back of the leg, almost leaving an opening for him to land a finishing blow. However, he recovered with no problem, he always did, obviously. 

Technoblade booked it away from the fighting and sent the firework rocket into the sky. Almost as soon as he did, he set up his own Wither. The entire battlefield glowed red, white, and blue and he watched people’s faces morph into absolute terror. He heard what sounded like Tommy let out a terrified scream, he had no idea what he was in for if he was afraid of one Wither. Then again, Tommy was the only one who knew about the vault so realistically he shouldn’t have been surprised. 

It was up to Phil and (Y/N) now. 

   “Is that Phil? What the hell?! He’s spawning a Wither!” Someone shouted and Technoblade’s face lit up in delight. He watched Phil send out his Withers before flying away as to not immediately get targeted by them. Technoblade turned his head towards the houses and saw you place your Withers down as well. He thought you looked gorgeous spawning in the Withers, it pulled him out of his blood lust just for a moment, the wicked smile on your face was stunning. He watched as you laughed tossing your hair back, the way it framed your face was remarkable, he thought you looked like Eris. 

An arrow that whizzed by his face and it snapped him out of his ogling, he turned back to rubble only to come face to face with Tommy and Tubbo. 

   “Technoblade! Stop this!” Tommy began to plead as they stood on the opposite end of the battlefield, he did pause to stare at the children. 

   “Please!” Tubbo begged from his side and Technoblade grit his teeth in frustration, after all this time they still didn’t understand his ideals or why he was so mad in the first place. 

   “You betrayed us Technoblade! You betrayed me! Just fucking stop this! Help us kill the Withers and stop Dream. All you’ve ever done is betray us, since we met you that’s all you’ve done. It all started with you killing Tubbo at the festival! Just stop this!-” He felt his blood turn to ice and he turned to face Tommy pointing his crossbow at the two boys. He watched Tubbo flinch and grab onto Tommy’s arm, clearly traumatized from the last time the weapon was pointed at him. Technoblade bared his teeth and felt his face begin to morph into that of a full pig, something that only happened when he was pissed to hell and losing control of himself. 

   “Remember when I was sitting there, alone, against the whole government -- and you and Wilbur just sat there on the sidelines and watched? Did you step in? Did you step in? Were you guys the ones that stepped in and said, "Don't worry, Technoblade, we know you're in a high-pressure situation, but we'd fight the world for you, Technoblade''? No! You guys watched. You know what I did, yesterday when you were surrounded by thirty people? When the whole world was against you? I walked in. I was willing to fight all of them for you, Tommy. I would've been there. That is the difference between us." The man roared his voice carrying over the battleground, catching the attention of a few others who were still trying to kill the Withers nearby. For a brief moment Tommy looked broken up by Technoblade’s words but he pushed it aside with a shake of his head. He was about to argue back when the faintest of hissing sounds came from above. Everyone turned towards the sky, a flash of lightning illuminated the scene above them, Dream was standing on top of the obsidian grid. Technoblade made sure to take a few steps away so he wasn’t right underneath the first bit of dropping TNT, 

   “No,” Tubbo’s voice wobbled “What’s he doing, he can't-” 

Almost like Tubbo predicted the outcome TNT began to rain down in the dead center of New L’manberg, the panicked shouts from the citizens only increased tenfold. The falling explosives spread out in the grid-like pattern Dream had created, making sure to hit every square inch of the once great country. 

   “Tubbo RUN!” Tommy grabbed his arm and pulled this best friends away just in time to not get injured by the first round of explosions that went off in the middle of town. Technoblade made quick work of dodging the falling pieces of TNT as he flew up onto the obsidian grid his Trident in hand. He watched gleefully as L’manberg was sent up in smoke, everything from the houses to whatever the fuck the L’mantree Dream mentioned was, was blown to shreds. Personally, Technoblade didn’t want Dream to stop until he saw bedrock at the bottom of the pit. He looked over and saw Phil smiling widely at him, the man gave him a clear thumbs-up spreading his wings wide. He could tell Phil was proud of him, he was proud of himself. 

   “Where’s (Y/N) mate?” He called out to him and the bliss he was feeling suddenly crumbled into pieces around him. Technooblade whipped around towards the last place he spotted his girlfriend, on top of the houses that were now blown to smithereens. He turned back towards Phil, panic in his eyes, Phil’s smile was immediately wiped off his face and he hopped down off the grid and into the rubble. Technoblade wasn’t far behind in his panicked searching, there was no sign of her anywhere and he was starting to lose his composure. Even as the TNT stopped falling around them and everyone began to head home (if they had one left to return to) he still couldn’t find her. That was until an unfamiliar voice called out to him, 

   “Mr. Technoblade!” The boy was half enderman and bordering on seven feet tall, he turned to face him and he swallowed thickly, “Miss (Y/N), she needs help!” Technoblade didn’t even respond he just let the Enderboy lead him to where she was, god please don’t be dead, please. The boy stood over her, wringing his hands nervously, a jacket was laid over her body and she was dragged far away from the wreckage. Technoblade froze as he watched the boy kneel and pull the jacket away, bandages were haphazardly tied around her waist and her breathing seems shallow. The half enderman looked up at him and swallowed thickly, “I found her under the rubble of my house.” 

   “I can handle it from here. Get out of here kid.” His voice was a low grumble and Ranboo hesitated for a moment before nodding, he knelt, picked up his other belongings, and headed off in the direction of the forest. Technoblade knelt beside you, his hands hovering over your injury, he felt his palms clam up as he opened and closed them. “You better not die on me princess, you promised,” he opened up the bandages on your waist, all things considered, the boy didn’t do that bad of a job patching you up. There weren't a lot of medical supplies on the battlefield so he did what he could with what he had, she must’ve gotten cut by a stray piece of metal as she fell, that’s what it looked like to him at least. Other than the jagged cut across her waist her ankle was twisted in a way that certainly wasn’t normal, his princess was beaten to hell. He swallowed thickly and began to rewrap her wound a bit more tightly so she didn’t bleed out, he felt a gust of wind beside him and he knew Phil was by his side. 

   “Fuck.” He murmured kneeling to set her ankle properly, the old man licked his lips before setting her ankle with a harsh tug. (Y’N)’s eyes shot open and she let out a shriek. “Sorry kid, sorry,” Her breathing went from shallow to heavy and frantic. Technoblade reached forward and grabbed your hand tight. 

   “Hey princess stay with me okay?” 

   “Bubs.” You whined painfully, “I guess I fucked up huh?” 

   “Only a lot,” Technoblade stated bluntly and watched as you let out a wheezing laugh that devolved into a cough. He frowned and took his other hand to card it through your hair, “Just take a deep breath we’ll get you home and all patched up.” 

   “Guess we aren’t getting married huh.”

   “Fucking what-” Phil choked his eyes blowing wide, jaw-dropping Techno’s face flushed red in response. 

   “Half dead and you still find a way to torture me.” You laughed again as Phil only shook his head in disbelief, 

   “That is so scuffed. Go take her home, she’s gonna need stitches and a splint for her leg. Make sure she gets home safe.” Phil placed his hand on Technoblade’s shoulder and squeezed it before kissing your forehead softly, “You’re gonna be fine.”

   “Obviously. Mr. Minecraft, would you expect anything less from me?” 

   “Nothing less,” He smiled fondly as Technoblade cradled you in his arms before hurrying away down the path. Phil stood up tall a frown evident on his features, he turned around to catch Raboo peaking out from behind the treeline. “Hey, Ranboo how’re you doing?”

   “Um. I’m alright. Fine, I’m fine, is (Y/N) going to be alright?” He stepped out from behind the tree patting his hands on his pants a bit nervously. Phil eyed the kid up and down for a moment and he cleared his throat, “I found her she was really, really bad.” 

   “She’s going to be just fine, Techno’s looking after her.” 

   “Good, good.” He nodded the tall mans shoulders seemed to relax and Phil couldn’t help but look at him with pity. 

   “Ranboo, do you have a place to stay?” 

   “Ugh...you know what no I don’t actually.” Phil smiled over at the boy and held out his hand, his multicolored eyes widened a little as he interlocked his hands with the father beside him.

. 

.

. 

: )

~~~

Thanks for reading guys! I think this is the longest chapter yet, let me know your thoughts, feelings and opinions! : ) 

#technoblade x reader #technoblade #mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #dreamsmp x reader #dream smp #dreamsmp x you #Blood for the Blood God #rp #x reader #x you #minecraft x reader #minecraft fanfiction #minecraft x you #fanfiction #fanfic

[kosmosguk]

Lineage (M) | 4

Pairing: Duke Yoongi x Princess Reader

Word Count: 5.2K

Summary: When an engagement locks you, the 8th and forgotten princess, to the duke infamous for his cruelty, you find yourself counting the days until your inevitable death. It’s terrifying to think of your end, but when you arrive at his territory, you realize there’s a more morbid reason behind your marriage, and that the duke is much worse than the rumors have painted him out to be.

Warnings:  HEAVY yandere themes, death, mentions of gore and death, near-death experiences, obsessive behaviors, manipulation, mentions of smut, 18+, explicit language, pregnancy, vomiting

A/N: wow...I can’t believe this story (well the main story; there’s a special chapter and an epilogue coming up) is over. Over 40 pages later...It feels like I’ve raised and nurtured a baby into a somewhat adult and now I have to send it off for college or smth :( I never thought the story would do this good in the first place (part 1 has 4k+ notes and I’m ,, shook ,,,) so to everyone who supported and loved this story (as messy as it was)...THANK YOU! Please keep supporting my writing, and I hope to keep improving as your lovely kosmosguk :]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

The air was still cold, the kind of cold that heavily bore on your lungs and left you rattling like the only thing left of you was a decaying ivory skeleton. You supposed the cold made sense, even though it was spring and it shouldn’t have been so cold. Some part of you convinced yourself it was the norm even when droplets of icy water splashed onto your frail cheeks. Even when you closed the door behind you, you could feel the chill; even when an acrid taste built up in your throat, you could not stop shivering.

Why could you remember the look on Namjoon’s face? You closed your eyes. Go away, go away, go away. His face lingered even then, even more stark against the darkness of your closed lids, hollow, disappointed eyes and lips curled too rigidly, too unnaturally into a smile. You knew that look. You hated that look.

You could feel the pain in your chest, prickling, and that pain seemed to sink itself into your stomach. Why did it hurt? Why were you hurting?

10. 9. 8.

You counted in your mind softly as the nausea swelled up, like the disgustingly messy crescendo of an agonizing melody. Now, this was strange, wasn’t it? Your cold wasn’t supposed to be accompanied by such nausea. When you began to heave, bracing yourself against the frame of your bed, you heard a knock and then the door click open.

A maid stood out there, her eyes widening as if she could not fathom the sight of you. You clasped your hand around your mouth, tears building up in your eyes, and you choked on a heave. You heard her footsteps tapping frantically as she dashed to get a bucket, but you couldn’t hold in the prickling in your throat, the swirling in your stomach.  

Tears spilled out, dropping onto the ground, as you bent over and retched all over your nightgown and the carpet. Your vision blurred, spots dancing, and you sunk heavily into the moment of weakness.

When you came to, you were being encased in something warm. You didn’t smell anything rancid like what you had been expecting; instead, the soft pleasant scene of rose oil scented soap met your nose, and you exhaled a relieved sigh. Wait…rose wasn’t the only smell. You could smell a hint of wine and something muskier, though slightly sweet. The smell of it was so familiar. It couldn’t be? You peeked open an eye to look up to see your surroundings, and your mouth dropped open slightly.

“D-duke? My Lord. Why are you here? Why…How did I get here?’’ you sputtered, and you tried to push yourself out of his hold. His gaze, along with his hold, remained steady. He reached out slightly and gently trailed a finger down the curve of your cheek.

“I haven’t been able to visit you lately because of how busy I’ve been…If I had known you were feeling so ill, I would’ve been by your side. I’m so sorry,’’ his tone was remorseful. The Duke, who everyone believed had no bone of emotion in his body and who was notorious for never feeling remorse, was apologizing to you. His words seemed to wash out every agony you had experienced. You rapidly blinked away the hint of tears in your eyes and ducked your head shyly.

He caught your chin with a hand before you could hide your face and lifted it gently. You noticed the black circles imprinted into the skin under his eyes, the way his face was even more waxy and pale than usual. Every aggrievance you had despaired over while alone in that room faded; you missed him. You missed him so much. You wouldn’t have been stuck in your own head if he had been there to hold you…but he was here now.

That thought washed over you, and you wrapped your fingers around the hand that was under your chin. His hand was limp as you pushed it down to your thrumming heart. Your stomach fluttered as his fingertips traced your warm skin peeking out of the collar of your nightgown. You carefully held his hand there. You didn’t notice the brief flash of guilt on his face.

You didn’t say anything, your hand still firmly holding his, and you shuffled your body closer, closing your eyes. The scent of the two of you mixed together was pleasant, and although Yoongi’s touch was usually unnaturally cold, today he was so warm. Or maybe the warmth of you had seeped out and spread around the two of you. That was okay; you were warm enough for the both of you. You suddenly felt so tired, even though you had just slept.

“Yoongi…,’’ your voice was barely a mumble,’’ I’m tired. Stay with me?’’

He moved the hand in your grasp slightly, and you held on tightly even though you were half-asleep. He chuckled lowly.

“Don’t worry. Relax your hand. I’ll be here,’’ he spoke. You complied, and you felt his fingers wrap themselves around yours. The two of you laid there, a hand clasped with the other between your chests, and you took in the sensation of your husband with every deep inhale.

“I’ll always be here.”

“Is she better?’’

Namjoon leaned back on the chain, but his posture was still stiff. Yoongi gazed at him with cold eyes from the chair across from Namjoon.

“What were you doing with her? Alone.’’ Yoongi’s voice was menacing.

Namjoon casually shrugged, his voice was level and careful to not expose any of his inner emotions.

“Wouldn’t you like to know? I was checking up on her, something her husband wasn’t doing. She didn’t look too good either,’’ Namjoon kept an eye on Yoongi’s reaction, his tone accusatory and raising in volume,’’ It made me think that you don’t give a damn about her, even though she looks and acts so much like her.’’

“Don’t.’’

Namjoon laughed bitterly.

“Don’t what? Don’t mention how much of a shitty husband you are? Don’t mention her? Shouldn’t I be telling you that? Don’t treat her like a replacement. She isn’t her. She died years ago. I saw her dead body. You saw her dead body. She’s not here anymore, Yoongi. You have to move on.’’

Yoongi’s palms were in fists now, his knuckles turning white, but his voice remained steady.

“She’s not dead.’’

Namjoon looked at Yoongi in disbelief, his expression twisting even further. Namjoon could only laugh, the sound dry and hoarse, and it crackled out like the remnants that Namjoon held in his heart.

“Yoongi.’’ This wasn’t Namjoon. Namjoon rarely got angry at Yoongi; hell, after what happened, he never got even slightly bent up at Yoongi, but he saw your face, contorted and agonized. His voice pressed out like a layer of bitter poison. He was on his feet now. “Fucking wake up. She’s dead. She died!”

“She hasn’t died,’’ Yoongi inhaled a deep breath,” She’s alive; I know it!’’

Namjoon shook his head, and before he knew it, his fist had collided with Yoongi’s jaw, sending Yoongi’s head swiveling to the right. He grabbed Yoongi by the shirt. Yoongi didn’t move, barely flinching from the blooming bruise on his face.

“Get it in your head, bastard. I’ve known you for centuries, Yoongi. I cared about her too, but she’s dead. But you know who’s not dead! Your wife. And she’s dying because of you. You want to cause someone else who loves you to die again?’’

“She’s alive, Namjoon! She died, but she’s back. Namjoon, don’t you understand?’’

Namjoon yanked Yoongi up, curling back his mouth to shout some more, but his words died in his throat before they could rise and leave on his tongue. There was a deranged look in Yoongi’s usually composed eyes. Yoongi looked feral, a murderous beast rippling underneath the façade of the weak human he wore, and Namjoon felt his spine curl in chills.  

Namjoon dropped Yoongi back onto the sofa, his chest rising up in rapid heavy breaths, and he shook his head before spitting out his final words.

“You, you’re the one who doesn’t understand. If you don’t get your act together, as your friend, I’ll give you a warning: something will take her away. Whether it be a new suitor or death.”

Namjoon turned to leave, and his hand was on the doorknob when he heard Yoongi’s voice.

“When she died, I made a choice, Namjoon.”

Namjoon didn’t move. His breathing was ragged.

“You ever wonder how I managed to survive this long with most of my power gone? It’s because of her. I made the choice when…when she was bleeding out, I made a pact with the God of life. The God of life knew that I would’ve destroyed that family of bastards and then the world if I had a chance, so he made a deal with me. She would be born as the unloved princess of the same line of people who killed her, but I had to promise that I could not destroy the world. Namjoon, I’m telling you this for a reason.’’

Namjoon turned quickly back, his eyes pinned to Yoongi’s still form on the sofa. He didn’t expect Yoongi to keep talking.

“But we’ve been friends for centuries. You deserve the truth. The deal I made with that bastard wasn’t perfect. When she was reborn, she would be human. Her. She had been so in love with flowers, and now she doesn’t even look at them the same anymore. But God said…,’’ Yoongi inhaled,’’ God said I could have her really back if I was careful. Where she had been stabbed, there’s a mark. If I could make her love me once more and I waited until the Spring Equinox… If I stabbed her through there, I would have my love back.’’

There was a pause to laugh, though it was no laugh of joy. “Isn’t that cruel? I would have to hurt her the way they hurt her. But it’s worth it. It’s worth it if I have a chance to get her back.’’

“Yoongi…!’’ Namjoon’s breath was even more ragged now. Rage colored it. “She’s human. If you kill her, there’s a chance she’ll actually die! That body of hers is human. It can’t contain the power of a deity!’’

“Don’t you think I know that?’’ Yoongi’s voice struck an unruly crescendo, and he finally rose to his feet. Namjoon flinched slightly at the maniacal expression painted in his friend’s once calm eyes. “This is my final chance to bring her back. She’ll never be hurt again! I’ll lock her up in a safe place, my flower, my…my wife.’’

“Don’t you understand what you’re doing is going to hurt her? It’s already hurting her!’’ Namjoon’s voice boomed in a yell, but Yoongi didn’t back down. He was too far now to back down.

“What does it matter? I love her. She’s the same as her, but she’s also not the same. She needs to be completed. The her of now is just a vessel for her true self… And as long as I break it, everything will go back to the way it should’ve been before she decided to trust those mortal bastards over me!’’

There was a tension in the room that couldn’t be swallowed by Yoongi’s increasingly rough breathing. Namjoon’s voice managed to croak out. There was no stability to it, not anymore.

“When you said there’s a reason why you’re telling me this, what is it? You know I’m going to stop you from pulling through with this. She’s dead, Yoongi, and the her of right now is a mortal! She’ll die once more, and what will you do then? As your friend—!’’

“What friend? What friend does a demon even have? And what friend looks at his friend’s wife in that manner, in nearly the same way that I do…! Namjoon, I know you love her.’’ Yoongi’s voice lowered back down to a threateningly calm voice. “And I can’t have that.”

Namjoon steeled himself for a fight, but he was no match for Yoongi. Yoongi was older than him, more powerful than him. He had slain bodies on the battlefield without losing breath. And now, he was going to do the same to Namjoon. Yoongi’s hands wrapped tightly around Namjoon’s neck, and Namjoon choked on a wheezing breath.

Namjoon tried to suck in a shaky breath as his vision splotched. He was a demon. He couldn’t quite die like humans did, but there was an end to all entities, demonic or heavenly, and Yoongi’s power was bitterly overwhelming. Yoongi’s fingers dug into the thin mortal-like flesh of Namjoon, and blood the deep color of ink dribbled out of crescent marks.

“I’ll take into consideration your many years of servitude to me, Namjoon. Your end will be much kinder than the ends of those before you.”

Flowers were peeking through blades of jade-green glass when you finally found yourself outside the rumored garden of the Duke’s first love.

He had gone for the day, and you had bitten the apple of temptation that curiosity had granted you.

You were the duchess; there was no need for you to be so cautious nor feel so guilty. But your gaze darted left and right, careful of any lingering servants, as you pushed your way into the depths of the garden.

Lush flowers greeted you, petals of every shade of the rainbow unfurling and glistening with the morning dew, and you exhaled in soft wonder. The sight was marvelous. The garden was beautiful, and it had been tended to meticulously. The beauty of the garden coupled with the pinpricks of growing despair in your heart as you furthered your way in.

You heard something snap and heard the voices of servants from just outside.

“The Duchess hasn’t been feeling well, hasn’t she?’’ you heard the voice’s echo.

“Ay, it’s unfortunate that the Duke has been too busy to look after her. They used to be so enamored at the beginnin’ of their marriage, but noble marriages…,’’ the responding voice hushed, but you could still hear the last part,” they never really go happy. Especially since rumors been spreading that the Duke still has a first love he can’t forget and only married the Duchess cause she reminded him of ‘er.”

You hurried your pace further in, not wanting to get caught. Your breath hitched, and the agony of those soft words pierced your already aching heart. Your eyes prickled in hot tears. Why, you wanted to scream at yourself as your footsteps quickened and your vision blurred, why were you so weak?

He had treated you so well. He loved you, didn’t he?

Your ankle twisted as your shoe slipped on the wet ground, and you were sent sprawling into the ground, grass and mud staining your dress. You looked pathetic, wet and muddy and close to tears…and then you looked up and made eye contact with the gray statue standing in front of you.

It had been carefully carved in the image of a young girl, holding an armful of flower bouquets—you noticed that the flowers were not made of stone like the rest of her and that they were fresh, as if someone had tenderly made sure to replace them every day—in her arms and beaming widely as her legs raised in a gleeful skip. She looked alive, but most importantly…she looked exactly like you.

From the slope of her nose to the curve of her lips and even to the way her eyes turned up in a playful smile, reminiscent of the naïve you of the past, she was every inch you like you were every centimeter her.

The answer to the previous question rang and echoed painfully in your head: No.

Your tears broke free from its constraints. They dripped down your cheeks like blood drops, and you muffled a sob as the cruel truth dug its blade into your heart and left you painfully bleeding out in a beautiful garden filled with the past’s flowers.

You allow him to embrace you as the waning moonlight slowly aligned itself to match the glowing sunlight. Even when he seemed distracted, and you could tell his thoughts were drifting back to her, you would shamelessly bring him closer to you, spread your legs farther apart and moan more like the whore you were. Anything, you would repeat to yourself, anything to keep him to you.

But if you were willing to do anything for him to love you, why did you find hot tears spilling onto your cheeks as you watched the sleeping him? The moonlight would embrace his skin, light it up like it was alabaster, and you would realize that perhaps the love he had shown you before was like the love an artist gave to a statue: tender but shallow.

Even then, you would lose yourself in your own rosy-painted memories, in which he tenderly cradled your hand and told you how beautiful you had looked the night of the ball. You loved him; you loved him too much.

But why, if you loved him so, did you hide your nausea to yourself? Why did you pick at meals and force yourself to eat them despite the growing urge to vomit? Why did you hide? Did you want to remain eternally beautiful and pure to him, like the innocent girl laughing silently in that wretched garden?

Did he ever love you?

When the hours of moonlight finally clicked to match the hours of daylight, you received your answer.

The moonlight served to guide your clumsy fingers. You were carefully embroidering a delicate lily, though it did not look as lovely as you had hoped, into a pure ivory handkerchief when the door of your shared room with the Duke clicked open.

“My wife.”

His face was solemn as ever, but there was a soft light that glowed in his cool eyes. The tenderness on his face was reminiscent of the kind he used to have for you back in the earlier days of your marriage. You were enthralled, bewitched, and entranced as he took quick paces towards you. He swept you up in his arms, his embrace strong and firm, and the handkerchief slipped from your still figures.

If you had not been immersed in the high of his affection, you would have been despaired over the handkerchief, with its half-finished lily, getting dirty. Your mother, before her death, used to adore lilies. She would smile bittersweetly as the bouquet of lilies delivered from the king dwindled and wilted before smoothing your hair down, her voice dim as she spoke.

“I used to love lilies…They stand for three things: devotion, humility, and…”

The third part seemed to escape your mind, but you found yourself not caring as much as Yoongi’s grip on you tightened.

“My Duke, what are y—?’’ you gasped out in surprise.

His voice cut you off, the sound rough and haggard and…exhilarated.

You felt something in your gut alert you of danger, but you did not care. He was holding you; you melted in his touch.

“My wife, I must ask you a dire question,’’ his voice echoed in the silent room,” Do you love me, my wife…Do you love me?’’

Your response spilled out of your lips as if you were bewitched by a spell. Your words were coated in a pathetic, desperate vulnerability.

“Yes, husband, I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you so much.”

Your breath hitched as his grip strengthened, and your brain was covered in a dizzy haze as you tried to gasp for a deeper inhale of air. He pulled away; you were surprised, briefly, at how cruel his eyes looked in the moonlight despite the warmth exuding from him.

“Good. My wife, I love you. I have a surprise for you, but you must trust me. Hold my hand,’’ he reached his hand out, and your hand was clasped in his iron-cold hand before you could fully process your thought. You blindly trusted him, even when he took out a fine silk ribbon.

It was a beautiful shade of gold, though slightly dirty, but your lips twitched nervously as you noticed small splatters of red dying the fabric. However, Yoongi’s gentle smile never wavered, and like an innocent lamb awaiting slaughter, you closed your eyes and let him tie it around you.

“Perfect. You look beautiful, my wife.”

Your heart skipped a beat. All of the love he had ever shown you before had been subtle. But it poured and oozed out of every word that he had spoken. You were foolishly giddy.

You could feel a slight skip in your step as Yoongi guided you. Step by step, you placed your trust in him. You did not hear any other sound other than the footsteps of Yoongi and you. It was unnerving, almost, the silence in the halls. But even when you heard something squelch, like the carpet had been soaked in some liquid, underneath the wooden soles of your slippers, you did not let your footsteps waver.

You were outside now. Your shoes brushed against grass and grated against stone, and you felt the merciless night wind whip at your hair before slowing down to a gentle breeze. You shivered and sought warmth, but there was no warmth, not even in Yoongi’s hand around yours, outside of the ribbon around your eyes.

“My wife, we are here,” you felt Yoongi let go of your hand, and his fingertips brushed against your cheek as he reached to undo the gold ribbon. The fabric fluttered down, the softness of it remaining on your face as you made petrified eye contact with the statue.

It was her; she held new flowers in her hands. A bundle of lilies sparkled white in the moonlight, and you felt your face go ashy. You remembered the final third meaning of lilies: restored innocence after death.

“Duke…Yoongi, what’s…What’s,’’ you tried to sputter out. Your pupils were dilated from fear, and you did not shake from the cold. No, you trembled from a deep sense of fearful dread. You flung your arms and embraced yourself as the nausea boiled in your gut and rose in your throat like acrid steam.

He got closer to you, and the moonlight illuminated the mania in his eyes and the glint of a blade. There was no calm before the storm; no, this was the storm. You let out a shrill scream and turned to run away.

Your feet tore up grass in your frenzy, but he was the Duke that many had rumored came from hell. He cut down thousands on the battlefield and emerged each time drenched in blood. It was then, as he reached out and grabbed your arm in a callous, bruising grip, that you came to see the monster that lingered in the human shell you had loved.

He shoved you down to the ground, and his voice pitched as he spat out: “The first night that you had died, I had nearly killed them all. I had planned on vengeance, on soaking this damned earth in blood, but I made a deal. The God said if I spared their creation, I could have you back…You would be human, disgusting and impure like the ones who had slain you…but I could change that. Only if I eliminate the stench of humanity from you.”

You scrambled back as he approached and hugged your stomach. You could already feel the sting of the blade, but you still cried out as the blade glinted in his hand.

“Yoongi, I’m pregnant!’’ you kept your eyes firmly on him,” Yoongi, I have your child! Please, please, if you kill me, this child will die!”

The blade in Yoongi’s hand paused as your breath caught in your throat.

His voice was weak and trembled slightly as he spoke. He was so vicious just a second prior, but now he looked ready to collapse. “My…my child…”

You sought to further his hesitation, to save not only yourself but your child too, and it seemed easy enough to begin weeping once more as your emotions soared to a rattled high.

“If you kill me, you kill this child. Our child. You asked me to call you Yoongi when we married,’’ you sucked in a shaky breath,” Didn’t I mean something to you? And if not me, what about our child? I look so much like…so much like her that our baby would surely resemble her too. Please, Yoongi, my husband, please, please, please!’’

His eyes flickered to the blade in his hand and back to the red mark peeking through the neckline of your gown. There was a resolute light that returned to his suddenly brighter red eyes that startled your heart back into a fiercer race in your chest.

No, please, you silently begged him and hugged your stomach.

“We can always,’’ he swallowed, and your eyes stilled in a conflicting hopelessness as he raised the blade back up once more,” When you’re her again, we can always have more children. We’ll have so many, as much as we want; that will be my apology for taking away our first child. You’ll understand…She would understand.”

The blade shing-ed as it pierced downwards through the night towards your chest, and you clenched your eyes shut and tried to shield your unborn child.

The sound abruptly stopped, and you heard a muffled groan accompany a heavy thud against the ground. You peeked open your eyes, and you choked on shock.  

The man before you looked exhausted and you saw broken iron clasped around one of his wrists. There was exhaustion rimmed underneath his eyes, but you saw firm courage in them too.

“N…Namjoon! Namjoon, Namjoon, please, please save my child!’’ you were screaming hysterically, your eyes hazy as you refused to let your arms fall from around your stomach.

He glanced back at you. That courage grew, and you felt wretched as the bitter taste of grief bite at your tongue. You knew what you were asking for was selfish. You had been selfish from the beginning.

You were selfish to want a happy ending. You were selfish to yearn for a family of three with the Duke, your child’s chubby fingers placed in the hands of each parent, and you were selfish to want to not lose someone else important to you either.

“Go…Go…Now!’’ he called out to you. “He’ll get up soon; you have to leave!’’

You stumbled back up on weak legs. Tears rose in your swollen eyes.

“Please, Namjoon, I can’t…,’’ you choked on a ragged sob,” I can’t leave you here!’’

“You have to!’’ his eyes darted back to Yoongi’s collapsed form,” I’ll come back for you. So hurry…Go!’’

“Promise! You have to be safe!’’ At the sound of Yoongi—no, the Duke—getting up from the ground, you forced yourself to kick your shoes off, turn around, and run away. As pebbles and branches bit at your naked feet, you could hear the sound of fighting. Please, Namjoon be safe, you prayed.

When you reached outside of the garden, you heard a loud choked yell of pain and closed your eyes shut as tears bit once more at them. Was…Was Namjoon dead? You looked back into the darkness of the maze-like garden, the darkness even more haunting with the grave silence permeating it, and you felt grief swell in your gut. You were sobbing now, ready to collapse into the unforgiving dirt, but Namjoon was willing to risk his life for you. You could not stop now.

You saw a figure standing outside, blocking the path away from the garden. Though it was dark, you managed to make out who he was as you got closer. His previously youthful and cheerful features were carefully set back in a more aged look. It was the aid that the Duke had hired for you: Jungkook.

“My goddess, the demon has sacrificed his life for you. Though you are human, God had sent me to guide you. The demon king had promised that he would not slain any other life in vain, and with the death of the demon, that promise has been unfulfilled. But God is merciful…They will protect you and your unborn child from danger.”

The aid’s voice was stony, unlike the light tone he had adopted before, but somehow, that very sound relaxed you. You had no one else to trust now and no way to live securely with your child.

The angel extended a hand, just like the Duke had extended his hand out to you while plotting to end your life.

“Will you take my hand, and let me protect you for as long as you may live?’’

You stared at his hand…and shook your head.

“God’s human servant humbly cannot agree to this. I do not need your forever protection, angel. Please, as long as you find a place safe for my unborn child, I will do whatever is necessary, but I am not willing to fully take the hand of a stranger so soon after a betrayal.”

You felt a tinge of a smile at Jungkook’s…no the angel’s lips, reminiscent of the days in which you had once felt happiness.

“God has always given their promises carefully. Not many mortals have ever refused the divine help. Many have even dared to push the boundaries of such promises.”

You placed a gentle hand over your stomach.

“As long as my child is safe, to me that is all that matters. Please, angel, help me once to only fulfill security for my baby.”

“Then, take my hand now. I have never witnessed a human refuse the hand of an angel before. If a devout believer were to witness you, would you not be labelled as a sinner?” the angel’s voice was almost teasing, had the sound not been so dry and flat.

“Labelled with this damned red mark, I have been a sinner the day I arrived on this earth, angel. It seems to be in my lineage to be nothing more than a sinner.’’ You wryly spoke and reached out your hand, finally taking his. You glanced once more back at the garden, blackened by the shadowy darkness and stench of death.

As you left this wretched place, where you had found love and had been destroyed by love, where you had been pushed and grown from the feeble girl of the past, where you had made memories despite how brief its actuality had been, the statue of the girl began to crumble and the bouquet of white lilies in her hand began to wilt, and as dust and crumbled petals fell to the ground, they became stained once more in red.

A/n: It’s finally the end of the main story :’) As always, leave a comment or a detailed review if you enjoyed the story. 

A special chapter from Yoongi’s perspective and an epilogue will be coming (reply with a  👑 if you aren’t on the taglist yet and want to be updated for those parts), and then Lineage will reach its final final conclusion. 

Thank you, and lmk of any mistakes (I never edit sjsjsj)! 

#yandere yoongi #yoongi x reader #yandere bts #bts smut #yandere #yandere lemon #yandere smut #bts fic #bts x reader #yoongi smut #yandere writing #yandere x reader #bts yoongi #yandere fic #bts thriller au #bts reader insert #bts angst #bts fanfiction #duke yoongi #yandere male #bts scenarios

[flamingo-writes]

It's Better When The Sun Goes Down — Nanami x Reader

This is a piece for the Anilysium Server NSFW Collab! Make sure to check the masterlist to see other writer's works! This month's prompt was: "I can't hold back anymore"

I'd like to dedicate this fanfic to one of my dearest and closest friends. I'm not a Nanami simp myself, but they are. And I have fun writing for Nanami, and also I love writing angsty things and flawed characters. Reg, I hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoy my more casual writing.

(it's pink bcs youre Chancho)

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: Mentions of breakup and heartbreak, alcohol and drug consuption, public sex, ghosting, lots and lots of angst. This does not have a happy ending. This is also non proof read bcs I kinda left it to the last minute I'm sorry, I'll go back and edit it when I am not in a rush dcj nd

Summary: Nanami’s return to the Sorcerer life wasn’t so bad. It could be better if Gojo wasn’t determined to get him back with his ex. As Nanami tries to get on good terms with them, things get out of control, only to end up where it all began.

I made this playlist while writing, in case you wanna listen to it while reading. Preferably listen to it without the shuffle, but you can hear it on shuffle, no biggie.

Nanami had forgotten how painfully unbearable Gojo could be. His return as a Sorcerer had been nothing out of the ordinary for a Sorcerer's standards. Missions here and there, or watching over some of Gojo's students. But God, he had surely stepped out of the line this time.

He couldn't even begin to explain how much he hated his current situation. Fighting by your side for the first time in years felt like rubbing hot oil on an open wound. The uncomfortable ignoring the elephant in the room between you two, as you two tracked and fought what felt like a million Curses.

When the adrenaline was at its peak, it felt almost nostalgic; though he'd then remembered everything else and immediately made his own reality bitter and awkward. Overshadowed by the advantage of years of experience ahead of him made him resent you even more. He knew it was childish and pointless to keep remembering everything that happened between you two, but that bittersweet memory would most likely keep him at bay.

You were still strong, witty, fearless, reckless and quick to act and defend yourself. The way you moved looked more swiftly and coordinated than you did back in your student days. Almost as if you were a professional dancer. He hated every bit of it. He couldn’t stop looking at you, thinking about you, and the possibilities of what you two would have become.

After the mission was over, no words were exchanged between you two. Aside from the: "Are you alright?" He told you as you simply gave him a thumbs up as you caught your breath drenched in sweat. An entire ride in an uncomfortable silence, until he reached the school and you got out of the car.

"Thanks. You did a great job. Keep it up" You said. Cold, and straight to the point. Closing his car door before he could reply. And soon, you were gone.

As Nanami tried to get his mind off the mission, Gojo made it difficult. He called him to ask for the details of the mission. He seemed amused and intrigued, as clearly you hadn't told him shit. And honestly, he could understand why. Gojo was meddling on things that weren’t his business, and things that had died a long time ago.

"Why are you interrogating me, Gojo?" He asked as he pressed hisnfingers on the bridge of his nose. "Ask your underling…"

"Because that jerk left for the bar as soon as they arrived" He explained. "And I know better than to annoy a drunk [Name], It took me a while but...I finally learned my lesson" He chuckled. “I knew they could hit hard, but damn, I had a big ass bruise…” Nanami could almost hear his stupid grin.

"You make it sound like it's a recurrent event" Nanami pointed out, slightly surprised as he didn't know you were a drinker.

"Oh, Nanami-kun, you really know nothing huh?" Gojo said, smiling widely as he had managed to manipulate Nanami into asking.

"Know what?" Nanami hissed as he now swore he could hear Nanami creepily grinning at his phone.

"No, nothing!” Gojo said as if it were nothing; trying and succeeding at peeking at Nanami’s curiosity “I'm not gonna talk over depressing things on the phone. Gotta go, bye! Kith kith, Kento-kun" Gojo sang and hung up, as he smirked, proud of his little mischief. He sighed deeply as he stretched in his bed. "Soon, those two will be back together" he smirked to himself.

Nanami hissed a curse under his breath as he locked his phone and threw it on his bed and went to the kitchen. If he had understood well, Gojo had just hinted at a possible drinking problem. He tried shaking his mind off of it. You couldn't, could you? You weren’t a drinker...You weren’t the last time he saw you. You were able to party and have fun without having to intoxicate yourself.

You were wild, cheerful, unpredictable. Everything he was not. And that’s what had made him fall in love with you back in your school days. You were so laid back, he could feel it permeating into him when you two hung out. The few times he’d broken rules was because you’d been the bad influence, however, you somehow managed to get away with it, and leave him with some distant memory in which he felt actually glad to be alive. He usually felt like he was walking on a cloud stuck in time, being present and enjoying the little things that made his everyday memories.

He’d really screwed up after breaking up with you...if he could call that a breakup... His life took a dramatic turn. And then, he turned his back to this world, and got immersed in the gray life the average man in Japan had. Away from what he's familiar with, away from his friends, away from you.

And now, apparently, you had a drinking habit. He wondered if he had caused it, or if he was one of the reasons behind it. The guilt started creeping in. The same guilt and regret he felt after ghosting on you. Not being able to bring himself to properly end things with you.

The guilt he’d managed to swipe under the rug for so many years creeped back out, and followed him around as the afternoon went by. After having a shower, changing into more comfortable clothes and in a lame attempt to cook dinner, he decided to test his luck. He put on a dark button down shirt and decided to go to the bar closest to the School. He felt the naive hope to find you there. However, if you had an actual problem, then his chances to see you there were higher.

Such was his surprise to find you there, trying to get rid of some insistent guy who kept talking to you despite your very obvious lack of interest. Before you could spot him, he watched you aggressively turn to the guy and talk to him in a rather rude tone. Sounding almost like a moody sailor as the guy’s face soon was washed with horror and disgust and walked away. As you turned your face back to your drink, your eyes scanned the bar, finally spotting him.

“Oh god” You whined as you pulled the glass to your lips. “It’s too early to be this drunk…” You hissed.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked, pointing at the chair in front of you.

“Tell Gojo to go fuck himself…” You snapped at him as you stood up and stumbled your way to the bar asking for a refill. Nanami looked at you, feeling slightly sorry for your tipsy state, as he’d never seen you like that. And he knew being mad and drunk was never a good combination. As you turned around with your glass and made your way back to your table, you gave him a slightly repulsed smile. “You’re still here…”

“Gojo didn’t send me here, if that’s what you’re thinking” He replied.

“He might as well have manipulated you into doing so, has that crossed your mind?” You said with a sassy tone as you sat back down. “Why are you still standin’?”

Nanami took that as an invitation as he ignored your last comment, trying to refuse the idea that Gojo had manipulated him.

“Rough day, huh?” He said as you nodded and stared at your drink.

“Look, Kento. I’m glad that you’re back. I really am. You’re strong, and you’re smart…” You began. “But I’m gonna cut the chase, I’m kinda annoyed too. Ever since you got back, Gojo has been sticking his snobby nose into my business” You explained. “Many of the missions he sends you in, I’m supposed to be there as well, but manage to get busy by then and not go”

“So you’re actively avoiding me?”

“Yes” You replied bluntly. “Mostly because Gojo is trying very hard to bring us back together. But no, I learned my lesson the first time” You said taking a sip to your scotch, feeling it smoothly sliding down your throat, no longer feeling the burn from the alcohol.

“I haven’t apologized for that…” Nanami began.

“Don’t” You interrupted him. “It’s better this way”

“Are you sure? Because you still seem to have an issue with it…” Nanami said, managing to read you like an open book like he always did. He still had that ability.

You glared at him, angrily as you opened your mouth to snap back at him, but your mind was foggy and a big portion of your brain was focused on the little details surrounding him. His black shirt, the first buttons undone. His thick wrists, one of them hiding underneath a fancy looking watch, his blond hair pushed back, his sharp features...And god, his smell. The smell of his cologne luring you in like a fly to honey. Since any words made it to your mouth, your next step was to take another sip.

“You’re drinking too fast” He pointed out.

“None of your business” You said standing up and taking your wallet out and leaving a few bills on the tale. “I’m out” You said coldly and walked out of the bar.

Nanami sighed, frustrated that he hadn’t managed to get anything out of interaction. Aside from the pretty clear fact that you disliked him. However, he didn’t think of the possibility of you resenting him so much because you still had feelings for him.

As you walked out of the bar, the chilly wind hit the back of your neck, making you shiver. You cursed, knowing it was going to make you feel drunker faster. You made your way to the school with long steps, trying to make it to your dorm before your last drink made it to your head. Despite the cold wind, the hot tears in your eyes in a way kept your face warm. As you tried to keep yourself from crying, you heard steps behind you.

“Wait” You heard Nanami’s voice calling behind you as you stopped on command, against your own will. You swallowed the lump on your throat and managed to keep the tears still in your eyes, as you refused to look at

him. “At least let me walk you home. You can’t walk on your own like this…”

“Oh, so now you care?” You said turning around and looking at him, giving him a smug smile. “You’ve changed” You scoffed bitterly.

“Please” He said, knowing better than trying to argue with you.

Your stare on him softened, as something within you urged you to say yes. To have more time with Nanami and maybe cling to the bittersweet memories you were constantly reliving since his return.

“Fine” You said, very much to his surprise. He smiled and walked closer to you with the gentle smile that had been haunting your dreams as of lately.

“C’mon. My car is not far from here…”

You stopped coldly as he mentioned a car. Taking a second look at him, you wondered how much he’d changed. He’d become an adult through and through, hadn’t he? While you were still a mess...Or so you thought. To Nanami’s eyes, you were a far better sorcerer and warrior than him. And he envied you for it.

“Are you actually going to take me to the school?” You asked, suddenly growing suspicious of him, as you’d had plenty of experiences with strangers on the street and knew better than going into someone’s car in a drunken state.

Not that you didn’t trust Nanami. You didn’t trust yourself drunk.

“I was actually thinking of taking you somewhere for dinner and then to the school” He said.

“Not hungry”

“No, but you’re drunk. It’ll sober you up, and tomorrow morning you’ll thank me when you wake up without a hangover” He said as he walked towards his car.

“I don’t have any more money on me” You lied, looking for an excuse to avoid spending any more than necessary with him.

“I didn’t ask you if you have money” He said boldly as he managed to make you smirk for the first time since his return.

“Smooth, Nanami. You’ve grown” You said as you followed him.

The walk to his car felt like your chest burnt far more than the alcohol ever did. It felt bitter, it hurt and was nauseating. Was it really it, or was it the alcohol finally catching up with you? Like flashes of instant memories being erased from your memory, the drive to a restaurant felt like a poorly edited foreign film. The car felt like some intense themed park ride as you felt dizzy with the alcohol whispering everything you missed about him. It was gross and it was sickening.

The Ramen sign on the outside on itself managed to sober you up a little by taking your mind off Nanami. As you followed him, clumsily standing on your feet, you sat on one of the tables and tried to make sense of the dancing letters in the menu. More flashes of memories were taken off your head, as you wondered what was happening and how drunk were you for you to start blacking out.

“Not good…” you muttered under your breath.

“Did you say something?” Nanami asked.

“No. Nothing”

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m not”

“You’ll feel better in a bit. Don’t worry…” He said softly as he sipped from a soda you didn’t know he had. When had he ordered it? You looked in front of you to the nice surprise that you had one too despite not knowing how or when. “I ordered some ramen for you. Something spicy...It’ll sober you up faster”

You chuckled as you looked at him.

“And how do you know that?” You asked with a cheeky tone as he smiled softly.

“Went drinking a lot with friends from work” He said. “I learned a few things here and there”

More brief black outs kept lazily painting a rather miserable painting in your memory. As you ate your ramen, you found yourself relaxing more and more. Was it the hot spicy broth? In the beginning, the balck outs weren’t getting any less frequent, however, as the night went by, you found yourself sobering up like he said. Soon, the black outs were gone, however you were still somehow locked in a haze. Although it made sense. The amount of booze as well as the short time, it was going to take a lot more than just one hot bowl of spicy ramen to get you back to a sober state.

The conversation kept flowing comfortably as both of you ate. It was reminiscent of the old days, nostalgic and somehow morbid. As the both of you tried to grasp at the old days when your worries were limited to school work. Catching up like old friends who hadn't seen each other, as if you didn’t have hard feelings for each other.

After having finished your food, Nanami paid for both of your meals and went back out into the cold night. The sky black, stars hidden by the streetlights as you made it to his car and finally noticed the silver color in it.

As he drove back to the school, you noticed he took a small detour, instantly setting alarms in your head.

“Where are we going?” You asked, your voice considerably serious as he noticed the change in tone from the pleasant talk they were having in the restaurant.

“There’s somewhere I’d like to go…” He said as he briefly looked at you and gave you a tender smile.

That smile made your heart uncomfortably skip a beat as you hated the effect he still had on you. You didn’t dare to ask any further as you slowly recognized the route he was taking. As he slowly took one of the roads towards the edge of the city close to the coast line. He stopped in a rather deserted place, as he got off the road and stopped the car.

Despite the lack of light, aside from the few streetlights, you knew exactly where you were. A whole in your chest opened dramatically as you felt your eyes tear up and happy memories attached to the location flooded your mind.

“Kento…” You said chuckling bitterly.

“When I said I wanted to apologize, I meant it…” He said as you clenched your jaw and looked out your window, avoiding his stare.

“And I told you I didn’t want to talk about it…”

“You’re still upset about it, I get it. And I don’t blame you” He began as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Look at me, please”

You wanted to say something to him. But you knew you would break down crying as soon as you opened your mouth. You took a deep breath and without saying anything you looked at him. His dark brown eyes gazing into yours, as he was looking at you with a rather pained stare.

“You remember this place, don’t you?” He asked.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you clicked your seatbelt, getting it off.

“I’m done” You said dryly as you opened the door and got out of the car.

“No, [Name]. Please, wait” He said as he mirrored your movements and excited the car walking around it.

“Of fuckign course I know where I am, Kento” You barked as you walked away approaching the door. “I know where I lost my fucking virginity, okay?” You barked as you stopped coldly and looked at him, tears finally streaming off your face. “Look, I’ll make us a favour and summarize this conversation. Yes, you’re a fucking asshole for just taking off one day and completely disappearing. Yes, I’m still mad about it. No, I won’t take your apology. No, I don’t care about whatever shitty excuse you have for me to listen to you. You bringing me here out of all places isn’t going to change shit…” You spat all in one breath as you stopped and took a deep breath.

“I loved you, Kento. I really did. And it hurt to have you just dissipate like you were a hallucination or something...You were my first kiss, my first love, my first everything! And one day I lost all of that. You ruined sex for me!” You yelled angrily. “I could never hold, kiss or sleep with anyone, because at some point I’d see your stupid face, and then be incredibly underwhelmed because I would not enjoy sex. I can’t feel anything anymore, Kento...The only way I can actually enjoy those things is by getting drunk or high” You admitted. “I can’t walk into bookstores, nor eat sandwiches or diet coke, nor drink tea because all those things remind me of you. And yes, it’s lame that all these years later I still care about those things. And this is why I can’t forgive you” You cried, as your voice shook.

Nanami’s heart broke little by little at each one of your words. He knew he’d screwed up and had hurt you deeply. But he wasn’t aware of the actual impact. He clenched his jaw as he felt his chest tight and a lump on his throat. Now the drinking problem made sense. Gojo had painted it like you were an alcoholic, but it wasn’t exactly the case. So you’d gone to the bar to get it off with some stranger, probably pretending it was him.

The dizzying pain and weight of his mistakes blinded him for a second as he walked towards you as you kept bitterly complaining. As you tried to walk away, you made a very poor effort as he caught up with you and cupped your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him and shutting you up by pressing his lips against you.

The sudden surprise made your heart stop. Your mind turning numb and blank at once as you struggled to bring yourself to push him away. However, truth be told, you didn't want to push him away. The poor attempt to push him away was more than obvious. The strong fighter you were, barely making any physical effort. Nanami's hands wrapped around your back and pulled you close, squeezing you against him as he sighed into the kiss.

Finally kissing him back, you locked your lips against his desperately, eager to taste the lips you've been dreading in your dreams. Clinging to him like he was going to disappear again, a soft whimper escaped your mouth. Your chest pressing against him as he felt his own world getting blurry.

He broke the kiss pulling away as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“You have no idea how much I missed you” He whispered as you clung to him.

“I-I…” You stuttered, the words tasting bitter before they even made it to your mouth. “Fuck, I want you, Kento” You growled as he pulled you in, kissing you hungrily again.

His hands posessively clinging to you as he slowly guided you back to the car. One step at the time as you both melted in a hungry sour kiss. As you ran out of breath, you pulled away, gasping for air as you gripped his collar in your hands.

“I can’t hold back anymore” You said as you pulled away and grabbed his hand, walking back to his car.

Your words unleashed a shiver down his spine as his heart skipped a beat and raced like crazy, as his pants started feeling tighter on his crotch. He chuckled softly as he realized his own judgement seemed to have disappeared with that first kiss. And before you could even make it to his car, he gripped your hips and spun you around as he bumped his forehead against yours.

“I can’t either” He admitted as he guided you to the car’s hood and pulled you over it. Ass you sat on the warm hood, he got between your legs and you wasted no time wrapping them around his waist. He grunted softly feeling your crotch against his as you pulled him closer to seal your lips together.

As you soon were absorbed by the dizziness of your rising heat, his hand went to your bare thighs as he slowly caressed your skin, going up and lifting your skirt up in the process. A soft moan slid into his mouth as he gripped your ass softly and squeezed it. The way your skin got covered in goosebumps and how you jerked your hips made him moan in response.

It felt good, and intoxicating. The driving desire burning his insides. The feeling of desiring to taste you all over and have you shaking underneath him. God, he’d missed that particular rush of adrenaline. His body reacting to the deeply buried memories now loose. He felt like he was in the best high he’d experienced. Lightheadedness and presence in the moment, he hadn’t felt this alive in so long.

Your hands were slowly undoing his buttoned shirt and were quick to explore his warm skin. He pulled away from the kiss, gasping as he looked at you. Your devilish smile matching your hungry stare. You leaned forward kissing his neck, nibbling on his skin every now and then. His hand gripped your hair tightly, pulling it lightly, making you look up at him as he stared at you.

He leaned forward, kissing you once more, this time a lot more slow and a lot more tender. It was sweet and it was slow and it took you by surprise. You felt his sweet kiss begging you, still holding on to the feelings you both decided to drown unsuccessfully. It almost hurt. It was the kind of kiss that told you how much you missed and needed each other. How much you regretted the mistakes you’ve done.

As you melted against his lips, his hands slowly slid your panties off. You helped him lifting your hips a little but as you giggled against his lips.

“Eager?” You said with a playful smirk.

“You have no idea” He replied as he took off your panties and shoved them in his back pocket.

His hand made it back to your thigh, slowly going up until he palmed your hot sex. Stealing a gasp out of your mouth, he teasingly ran one of his fingers through your dripping slit, making him smile satisfied.

“I’m not the only one, huh?” He said as you looked at him with lustful eyes.

You took his glasses off and set them aside. You were about to go back to kissing his neck when he slid one finger inside of you effortlessly. A rather loud moan escaped your lips as you shut your eyes closed feeling your entire body tingle in a way you hadn’t felt in years. You smiled satisfied as you continued kissing his neck. Slowly, he got another finger inside. The delicious stretch of his second finger prompting you to bite his neck softly making him growl your name softly. His fingers explored the whole he knew so well, as he found your sweet spot almost by muscle memory. More moans came out of your throat sounding like music to his ears.

“Fuck, Kento” You hissed as you took off your top, not caring that you were outdoors and by the road. Up to this point, you were so pent up, you simply craved him like you’d never craved anything before.

Nanami wasted no time and kissed your neck, going down to your neck, gently biting your skin every now and then. Sucking delicately on your skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t last long. He pulle dhis fingers out of you, clinging to your body desperately. As you laid on the car’s hood, you devoured him with your lustful eyes, begging him to get on top of you. Wearing just your skirt by this point, Nanami groaned at the plain sight of you.

He undid his belt and his pants. Your hands playfully teasing your own body in an attempt to drive him crazier and crazier. He cursed under his breath as he couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled his painfully hard erection out of his pants. You watched hi, intrigued, stretching your hands towards him, gently gripping his dick. His breath hitched and you smiled proudly.

Nanami leaned over the car hood, slowly getting on top of you, his shaft resting on your belly as he looked at how much deep could he go inside of you. His tip almost reaching you belly button, as the idea alone made a shiver run down his spine.

"Please, Kento" you gasped, need dripping from your voice as you caressed his dick

He growled softly as he pulled away softly, aligning against your entrance and slowly going in. You gasped, pushing your head back and pressing your hips against his making him go deeper.

Hissing your name, he jerked his hips, his tip.kissing your cervix as sudden rush of pain jolted through your body, followed by pleasure. You dug your nails in his shoulders as he thrusted back and forth, hitting all the right spots. The sound of his gasps and grunts hypnotizing as you got wetter by the second. His length coated in your juices, echoing in lewd wet noises.

He was rough. He usually was. Back in student days, he was particularly rough. As quiet and collected as he seemed, he sure got his stress out if his body through wild sex.

Relentlessly pushing against you, stretching you in such a delicious way only he knew how. Strong and aggressive movements as your walls swallowed him whole every time, breathless moans escaping your lips with every push. The cool wind kissing your skin, only enhancing his warmth.

As you felt your orgasm progressively approaching, the realization of how addicted you were to him hit you. He was everything you desired. And it was wrong. Before the feeling of uneasiness started to sink in, a sudden electric rush ran through your body. Painfully and soothing, as you tightly clenched around himbsoon numbed your mind.

As you came around him, your walls sucked him in tightly, as he was right over the brink, your velvet flesh pushed him off the edge. He didn't have time to pull out. And honestly, he didn't want to pull out. The way your walls milked him felt delicious. As he rode you through your orgasm, filling you up as his head felt dizzy and the world was spinning faster than usual. His hot seed coating your insides, as you shut your eyes closed, feeling the very last of your orgasm fading away.

He pressed his forehead against yours. Loud pants echoing.

However, the world didn't quite return to its regular focus.

The rest of the night went by in a fuzzy hot mess of events. You returned to his apartment and kept feasting on each other, making up for the lost time. Both of you incredibly starved and needy, you desperately went at it over and over again. It was a rather long night. As you feared, no one made you feel as he did. All of him was addicting. His smell, his voice, his warmth, his skin...It didn’t matter how many strangers you fucked, or how drunk or high you were, he felt just right. He made you cum so easily, it seemed ridiculous everyone else couldn’t.

But you knew it was far more than that.

You were still deeply in love with him. No wonder why he had that effect on you. Just hearing his breathlessly gasp was enough to have you soaking wet and under his mercy. Between sweet kisses, fake promises and sweaty sex, he quite literally fucked you to oblivion. Until either of you could take it any longer and you two fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been a long tiring night, as you knew many of your muscles were gonna be sore the next day. Your chest painted in red and blue bruises.

It was possibly one of the best night sleeps he’d had. In such a long time. The uncomfortable hole in his chest didn’t feel so wide now. Just like you, he didn’t know how much he actually needed you until now. His regrets, his guilt, the thoughts haunting him on how much of a jerk he’d been when he simply took off...All those feelings went away for a night. As he tasted the wonders of the universe under your skin. Feeling ecstatic and euphoric for the first time in years. However, nothing could’ve prepared Nanami for what he was about to experience when he woke up.

~

“What the hell is this?” Gojo asked as he waved around the folder you’d left a few hours earlier in the Headmaster’s office.

“Why the fuck do you care?” You said as you grabbed it, ripping it off his hands.

“You’re seriously leaving for Kyoto?” He whined.

“So my transfer was accepted? Great!” You said sarcastically as you opened the folder and saw the Headmaster’s seal at the bottom.

“What about Nanami-kun?” Gojo replied as the very last string of your patience snapped.

“Oh, fuck you, Gojo! You tried to force us back together, but it’s not going to happen” You snapped. “I’m done. I’m done with him, and I’m done with you sticking your nose in my business”

“Do you really think that running away will solve anything? You’ll still be depressed as hell”

“The less I know about him, the better” You said as you turned around, hot tears blurring your sight as you headed with long steps towards your room. “I don’t trust myself around him…” You whispered. “He’s my weakness Gojo, I can’t let that happen���” You said coldly.

You’d left that morning very early, before Nanami woke up. And you left leaving no trace of you ever being there. Unintentionally doing the same he did. It was unintentional because you hadn’t done it out of spite. Your thought process had been simply. You preferred to not have that conversation and simply leave without him noticing. You had had the exact same thought process Nanami had had all those years ago.

You didn’t waste time and soon started packing your things to leave for Kyoto right away.

#jjk smut #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen imagines #nanami kento #nanami x you #nanami kento imagines #nanami x reader #nanami angst #server collab

[babybluebex]

keep her safe [todd hewitt x reader]

➽ pairing: todd hewitt x fem!reader (y/n) ➽ summary: PART 1! you meet todd hewitt, a strange man who has his thoughts on constant display, and he helps you escape a sticky situation. ➽ word count: 2.5k ➽ warnings: SPOILERS FOR CHAOS WALKING. mentions of violence ➽ a/n: i saw chaos walking 24 hours ago and i already have a whole series planned woohoo. also, i’m posting this on mobile, so sorry it’s so weird. ugh. enjoy!! masterlist & taglist in my bio

“Girl! Girl, girl…”

Each word came with a green-purple mist that circled around the boy’s head. But your face contorted with confusion; his mouth wasn’t moving.

“How are you doing that?” you asked, mirroring his defensive stance. The boy’s little wire-haired dog was yapping at you, and you thought for just a moment that he was a little cutie. The dog, that was. The boy was… Odd. He was tanned, big brown eyes with shorn brown hair, wearing rugged clothes, brandishing a knife at you. He seemed a lot less advanced than what you knew, and your heart went out for the people that lived on the planet. You were only there as a part of an outreach program from Earth. You and five others were sent to meet the people living there, see what their civilization was like, and report it back to Earth. Upon entering the planet’s atmosphere, though, your ship burnt up and crashed, leaving you with bruises and cuts on your body that not even your medpack could heal. You needed real medical attention, but you had no way of contacting the mothership. Your best hope was the boy that stood before you, holding you at the point of his knife.

“Doing what?” the boy said, but, once again, his mouth stayed pressed into a firm line. Then, the mist returned. “Girl, girl, high voice, pretty hair, no Noise, need to tell Prentiss, save her from the Spackle, shit, fuck, I am Todd Hewitt, I am Todd Hewitt, I am Todd Hewitt…”

“Todd Hewitt,” you said, your voice wavering. “That’s your name?”

“Shit!” Todd said— or rather, the mist said. You still couldn’t understand how the mist was making words. “Yeah,” Todd said, his mouth moving normally. His voice was low and gruff.

“Girl, girl, girl—“

“What the hell is that?” you asked. Your grip tightened around your blaster, trained on Todd Hewitt, but you were beginning to get the feeling that he was as confused as you were. The way the mist around him kept mentioning that you were a girl almost made it seem like… No. “Have you ever seen a girl before?”

“Yes!” Todd huffed back at you, but the mist betrayed him.

“No, all dead, pretty girl, Manchee shut the hell up, I am Todd Hewitt, I am Todd Hewitt.”

You lowered your blaster. He didn’t want to hurt you. He was as frightened as you were. He had never seen a girl before, so you were a weird offshoot of what he knew. Uncanny valley, almost. Nearly familiar, but not quite.

“What is that?” you asked, softer and slower. You holstered your blaster, and Todd put away his knife. “All around you. I’ve never seen it before.”

“It’s called the Noise,” Todd told you. While he had sheathed his weapon, his face was still stony and focused on you. “It’s our thoughts.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Those are… Your thoughts?” you repeated. “You can’t control it? It just happens?”

“All the men on our planet have a Noise,” Todd said. “Women didn’t.”

“What happened to the women?” you asked.

Todd flexed his jaw for a moment, then said, “I need to take you to Prentiss.”

In the Noise around Todd, an image of an older man wearing furs with scars on his face appeared, and you surmised that this was Prentiss. “Why?” you asked. “Who is he?”

“Our mayor,” Todd said.

“Mayor, Prentiss, proud of me, ‘good use of your Noise, son’, Prentiss, she needs to see Prentiss, girl, girl, girl.”

“You’ve really never seen a girl before?” you asked. “Where are the women here?”

“They died,” Todd said flatly. “The Spackle killed them.”

“The Spackle?” you repeated.

“The creatures that live here,” Todd said. “They’re dangerous.”

You had a different name for the natives of the planet, but you decided to stay with the terms that Todd told you, for his ease. “Am I the first girl you’ve seen?” you asked, even though you knew the answer.

Todd nodded quietly, but his Noise said everything you needed to know. The image of a woman appeared, dark hair and a soft face, holding a baby that was laughing. The woman was singing something in a light voice that the Noise garbled into incoherence, and then the mist vanished. “Was that your mother?” you asked.

“Stop distracting me!” Todd barked suddenly. “Why are you here?”

“I came with an outreach program from Earth!” you exclaimed. Your hand went to your belt instinctively, but you remembered the progress that you had made with Todd. His weapon was still away, his little dog’s yapping resorted to whines, and, based on his toned body, you didn’t want to get into a physical altercation with him. He would win, no doubt, even though you had had combat training. “We came to see the first settlers’ progress, but our ship malfunctioned during entry… I’m the only one that survived.”

“Prentiss will know what to do, Prentiss is good, ‘Good use of your Noise, son’, Prentiss likes me, take her to Prentiss.”

“M’taking you to the mayor,” Todd said, reaching for you, but you stepped backwards.

“Where is Farnbranch?” you asked.

“Where?” Todd asked.

“Farnbranch,” you repeated, louder and clearer. “It’s where we were supposed to touch down. How far away is it?”

“Prentisstown is the only place here,” Todd grunted.

“On the whole planet?” you scoffed. “You’re the only ones? Really?”

“S’what I’ve been told,” Todd said. You could sense that he was growing agitated, and you sighed.

“Who told you that?” you asked.

“I am Todd Hewitt, I am Todd Hewitt, I am Todd Hewitt…”

Your face screwed up in understanding. If the Noise were his thoughts, he was repeating his name to obscure what he was really thinking. He was simple like you had first thought. In fact, he was actually quite smart. “What’re you not telling me, Todd Hewitt?” you asked.

Todd fixed his jaw. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

The man you had seen in Todd’s voice did in fact turn out to be Prentiss. He was old but strong as an elm, flat, grey hair hidden under a brimmed hat. As Todd took you into the center of town, a crowd of men began to gather, and you were overwhelmed by their voices. They were talking, and the Noise was spouting every thought. You tried to ignore the Noise that focused on your body or more salacious thoughts that came with a 20 year absence of women, but that Noise was the loudest of them all. It was so loud.

Prentiss took you into a cabin and sat you next to a metal contraption that you recognized as an old model of the same heating system you had had on the mothership. Your hands felt like ice, and you stretched them out to try to get any feeling back. Prentiss took a chair and scraped it against the wooden floor until it was next to you, and he sat down. He reminded you of your grandfather and the old cowboy shows he would watch, and you found yourself leaning towards him. He had no Noise.

“Todd told me that you came from Earth,” Prentiss began. In the back of the room, a younger man sat eating an apple. He had the same strong jaw and hard eyes as Prentiss, and his Noise was a continual loop of “Girl? Didn’t think girls existed, she’s pretty. Pa will sort this out.” “Is that true?”

You nodded. “There were supposed to be six of us,” you started. “But… Our ship crashed just outside of town.”

Prentiss leaned back in his chair, the old wood creaking under his weight. “You were supposed to land in Farnbranch, weren’t ya?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said, but your stomach roiled with unease. How did he know? “How far away is it? I asked Todd Hewitt but he said that he didn’t know another town existed.”

The other man in the room looked up from his lap at this, his eyes wide. “Pa,” he said. “I thought--”

“Davy,” Prentiss grunted, and the man stopped talking. “Control your Noise, son. Leave us be.”

“But Pa--”

“He can stay,” you said softly.

“Davy, I said go,” Prentiss said firmly. “And make sure you control your Noise. Don’t let anyone out there know she’s supposed to go to Farnbranch.”

Davy cast you a glance that made your heart pitter-patter in fear, and then he was gone. “Listen here, girly--”

“My name is Y/N.”

“That don’t matter here,” Prentiss snapped. “That Hewitt boy told you ‘bout why there’s no women here, and there’s a good reason for that. You notice how you don’t have Noise?”

Thank God, you thought. You nodded, though, tangling your fingers together.

“The Noise only affects the menfolk here,” Prentiss said. “Women don’t have it. They never did. But the Spackle didn’t like that. They didn’t like how they couldn’t tell the womenfolk’s intentions, and they killed them all. Every last girl.”

“The Spackle can speak our language?” you asked in astonishment. From all of your studies, you thought that the native creatures were fairly simple, not fully capable of spoken language. This insight was incredible and one that you were sure to report back to the mothership.

“No.”

“Then how did they feel threatened by the women?” you asked. “In fact, they would be more threatened by hearing a language that wasn’t their own, appearing from nowhere. That doesn’t make--”

In an instant, Prentiss had drawn a knife. While he didn’t point it at you, he held it firm in his fist. The veins that jumped on his wrist told you all you needed to know about him. It scared you silent. The air changed instantly inside the cabin. Prentiss didn’t want to help you, you could tell. “The world don’t make sense, girly,” Prentiss said. “All we can do is accept it and move on. Now, I’m not gonna let you go to Farnbranch.”

“Why not?” you asked.

“It’s not safe for you there,” Prentiss said.

“I get the feeling it’s not safe for me here either,” you said quickly. You said up a bit straighter, and you said, “I want to speak to Todd.”

“I’m not gonna let you do that,” Prentiss said. “See, the Hewitt boy’s special, and I can’t have you two goin’ and making an alliance.”

“I am not going to speak to you unless Todd is here,” you said firmly. Then, through gritted teeth, you said, “Bring. Todd. Here.”

Prentiss sighed, twirling the blade absently in his hands, and he stood up. Relief pricked at your skin for just a moment, but then Prentiss took a handful of your hair. You cried out in pain as he hauled you from your chair and threw you to the floor, and you screamed as Prentiss pressed the heel of his boot to your throat. “Ya gonna talk now?” Prentiss asked.

You drew in a breath and you screamed again. You hoped that Todd was in that crowd around the cabin and that he would help you. Truly, there was no reason to believe that he would help you; you didn’t know if he even liked you. Sure, he thought you were pretty, but that didn’t automatically mean that he cared for you.

“Todd!”

Prentiss pressed his heel deeper into your throat, cutting off your scream with a gurgle. It was hard to breathe, nearly impossible. “You killed them,” you managed at a whisper. “Th-The Spackle weren’t threatened. You were.”

“Aw, damn, she’s smart too,” Prentiss laughed. “That’s a shame. You could’ve made a really pretty wife for one of us.”

The door banged open, and there was Todd. He had a wild look in his eyes, and he lunged at Prentiss. Todd grabbed Prentiss’s wrists and wrestled him off of you, and you scrambled to your feet as you palmed your blaster. “Todd!” you cried, and his wild brown eyes focused on you for a moment before he saw your crisp white blaster. He saw your plan as clearly as if you had put it in the Noise, and he hauled Prentiss around so that his back was to you. “Drop it!” Todd yelled, his voice dropping deep in his throat.

“How d’ya know she’s in the right?” Prentiss yelled. “Just ‘cause she’s a pretty face? Womenfolk will deceive you, Todd! They’ll use you right up and leave you confused! How d’ya know she ain’t controlling you through the Noise right now?”

“‘Cause she doesn’t have Noise, you dumb fuck!” Todd yelled.

With that, you fired your blaster. A white-hot bot of energy buried itself into the mayor’s back, and he crumpled like wet paper. Todd hurtled himself away from Prentiss and grabbed your arm, and the green-purple mist of his Noise surrounded you like a thick cloud. “Gotta save her, gotta save her, pretty girl, Prentiss tried to hurt her, ‘Womenfolk will deceive you’, Goddamn it, shut the fuck up, I am Todd Hewitt, I am Todd Hewitt--”

“Get me to Farnbranch,” you rasped. “Please.”

#tom holland #tom holland fic #todd hewitt #todd hewitt fic #tom holland angst #todd hewitt angst #todd hewitt x reader #tom holland x reader #angst #chaos walking #chaos walking fanfiction

[retroellie]

could you do an imagine/headcannon where ellie and miller!reader are traveleing to santa barbara and are being really flirty with each other (they always have been but this time its like amped up x100) and on their way back to jackson they confess that they have always loved each other? (happy valentines btw!!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩)

Summary: Confessing your love to ellie

A/N: Thank you for the request<3 This kinda got a little depressing and i'm sorry but i'm in the mood for angst rn AHSHJ. Anyways sorry for making you wait so long babe :( ily <3

Warnings: Blood and angst

Word count: 1.3K

-Even though this is probably the worst reason to be traveling to Santa Barbara, avenge the death of your father, you two still can't keep your hands to yourselves

-There was something about this time that felt more meaningful than it usually did

-Ellie would always pull bad pick up lines out of her back pocket and make you laugh

-"IS there a mirror in your pants?? Cause I can see myself in them."

-It was just stupid harmless jokes but now it feels more than that

-Ellie had also started touching you more, if that was holding your hand as you guys were running through a hoard of infected or hugging you as you came back from getting food

-You weren't complaining much though, back at home it was so lonely there without ellie

-You and her had been connected at the hip ever since you met, you even went with her to Seattle even if it hurt you so much to remember your dad

-After you guys came back to Jackson after Seattle you both parted ways, it left you heart broken

-Ellie left to go live in a farmhouse by herself and you got up and moved your entire life around

-You were able to go back to Texas and live in your dad's old house there, you fixed it up real nice... wasn't much but the only memory you had of your dad

-That's until Ellie came to you, all the way from Jackson to Texas just so you could help her cause you were the only person that was going through her pain.

-It took about a week to get to Santa Barbara and the entire trip consisted of catching up but also the awkward tension in the air

-It was horrible because ellie kept getting hurt but she kept pushing herself to her limit

-When she was impaled by the tree branch, you tried your best to clean her up and for some reason touching her bare skin made you blush.

-When y'all had finally found Abby there was a good chance you guys could kill her, she was weak and fragile

-You had been busy trying to fight of the damn group you had run into when you could've helped ellie

-When you finally made it to the sea, there she was. Bleeding, bloody and hurt... Just like when you found her in jackson that horrible day when you lost everything

-You ran to her, holding her like she would drift away. You watched as abby made her way into sea

-You didn't even feel like going after her, you didn't want to lose the only other person you had left

-"I couldn't.... Joel..." She could hardly speak

-"I know ellie..." You whispered back, letting some tears escape you

- You helped get her cleaned up that night, staying in a abandoned house just so y'all could rest

-You wrapped her fingers up real well, doing everything in your power not to hurt her

-You could feel her eyes on you, looking at you like you were the only right thing in her life

-She couldn't bear losing you, if you were to have died she wouldn't want to live anymore

-"You know I'm glad you came with me. i really missed you" She spoke, watching as you wiped the blood off her hands

-"I missed you too ellie, i had to get used to you not being there....it felt weird." You admitted

-Ellie's heart fluttered, she was so in love with you in hurt

-"How was texas?" She asked

-"Lonely" You stated, wiping the blood off her hands. "It was just how they left it 25 years ago, everything was left untouched."

-She watched as you spoke, her eyes flipping to your eyes back to your mouth

-"Sarah's room looks exactly like mine back at Jackson '' You chuckled. "It's funny how similar we are yet we've never met."

-Ellie chuckled along with you, watching as your eyes began to water

-She knew you were only hurting yourself living there, holding on to a simple memory of a man who was so much more

-"I wonder if it hurt him to look at me.... if all he saw was sarah"

- Ellie could hear the tears you were holding back, causing ellie to get on your level, hoping down from the chair and on the floor with her

-Ellie took her bloody hand, placing it on your cheek. She wiped away stray tears, smearing your rosey cheeks with blood

-"No." She stated simply. "I bet he saw a woman with so much purpose, he would be so proud of you y/n."

-It was then, right then when you decided you were madly in love with Ellie williams. You always knew but you kept it hidden, but you couldn't keep it to yourself anymore

-You smashed your lips into hers, not caring about the clashing teeth or the surprised gasp coming from her

-It was at this moment you could let go, of everything

-"I have been waiting for this moment for years." She breathed out, giving a huge smile

-"me too..." You admitted, wanting to pull her into another one

-"why didn't you say anything?!?"

-"You tell me!!"

-"I could've been kissing your stupid face this entire time?!?"

-Even after almost getting murdered multiple times today, you guys are still your stupid selves

-Traveling back to jackson felt quick, days gone by like minutes

-This time the trip consisted of everything it used to but more makeout sessions and heated sex... obviously cause it's ellie

-off topic but the first y'all finally have sex omfg, ellie is so shy and awkward with it like seeing your boobies threw her off

-Anyways uhhh moving on

-When y'all finally got back to jackson, you knew you two would have to split back up again. I mean y'all started 2 different lives, you couldn't just leave that all behind.

-Ellie showed you around her house, allowing you to pet the sheep and horses

-It felt nice, better than in texas where you had no one

-it wasn't until you found joel's guitar he made for ellie that you remembered you have to go back to texas... or do you?

-"I now understand what the bill went through... I mean losing someone and then coming home to an empty house." You stated, running your fingers along the strings

-"Minus the crazy paranoid part... right?" She joked, coming up to you to set small kisses to your head

-You chuckled, you didn't want to end up like bill...alone or did you already become him

-The coldness of the house that you knew was once filled with laughter of the two who had once lived there, something you had tried to recreate but only failing

-Walking along the house filled with pictures of the two faces that should be here with you, would Sarah even want you a part of the picture or would she want to be the only child?

-"I want to let him go ellie...' You whispered. "I'm holding onto a life that was never mine....i sleep in his bed for god sake."

-Ellie brought you into a hug, staying silent so you could get it out

-Ellie knew what you were going through, she saw it every time you entered a room.

-Ellie thought about how much she missed you and how much it would hurt her if you left her again

-"You could always stay with me.." She spoke, seeing your futures flash in her head

-She could see you getting up and feeding the animals in only your bra and shorts

-She could see you pregnant with a kid, cooking up dinner for you and her... she isn't quite sure how that works but you can make it happen

-She could see nights spent making love underneath the stars

-She would kill for that life with you

-"Really??" You said, perking up almost immediately

-"Yeah I mean.... i'm beginning to feel like bill as well."

-You both laughed, you both were so fucking ready to settle down and be normal humans for a bit

-"I think I might like that." You smiled, pulling her into a kiss once again

#ellie williams fic #ellie williams fanfic #tlou ellie #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #the last of us pt ii #tlou2 #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us part two #the last of us x reader #the last of us fanfic #the last of us

[jadegrey711]

I Wasn’t Expecting That (Part 2)

Eric Northman X Fem!Reader

A/N: Hello my loves! So a while back I posted the first part of this oneshot with Eric Northman and I got a few comments saying they wanted a part two which I definitely wasn’t planning on doing but in one of my insomnia episodes I came up with the plot for part two! Be warned it’s super angsty which is a rarity coming from me. 

*NOT MY GIF*

Word Count: 1487

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

Soundtrack Inspiration: 

-Cruel World: Active Child 

-Cold: Aqualung, Lucy Schwartz

- I wish I knew: Shron Van Etten

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711)

Everything around you was dark. Dark and suffocating. You felt like you were coated in that darkness as it laid heavily over every inch of your skin, over your mouth suffocating you, and your eyes as it blinded you further. You felt the fear get the best of you as you started to claw your way out of the darkness, you felt it as it clung under your fingernails. You tried to blink it away as it got in your eyes but there was no use, you let your panic guide you through the cloying darkness as you finally broke free and saw the face of your own personal heaven; Eric.

You felt your chest relax a bit at the site of his smooth face, his blue eyes wide with worry. Maybe this truly was heaven and even here in this heavenly place, they let you have your monster.

He held his hand out for you to take, a small smile starting to form on his face at the sight of you.

“Eric.” You whispered, hearing just how rough your voice sounded to your own ears and reached your hand out to take his. But when you did you were startled at how solid it felt under your hand. With your hand still in his you turned his hand around examining it, his touch felt so real like he was actually here. Then you felt it.

Hunger.

A deep chest aching hunger rushed through you, you shook your head in confusion and watched as the small smile on Eric’s face faded as he watched you put the pieces together.

“Y/N.”  He whispered softly, like you were a frightened animal he was trying to coax from falling over a ledge.

You let go of Eric’s hand and turned your head to look back at what he had just pulled you out of. A hole.

“No.” You whispered. Looking at the massive hole where you just clawed your way out of and then back to Eric. And you finally saw the dirt he was covered in.

“Y/N. I can explain but first you have to eat.” He said in a firm but still soft voice and pulled a blood bag from behind his back.

“Oh God, Eric.” You whispered, feeling tears coming to your eyes. And the memory of your final moments came back to you. The feel of the bullet tearing through your chest, your heart slowing, and Eric’s voice roaring as you faded into that sweet darkness.

You looked down at yourself and saw the blood that coated your shirt right where your heart was. You felt that panic washing over you again in waves as you frantically tried to find the bullet hole. You teared open your shirt and clawed at your chest trying to find it, hoping that this was some sort of sick joke.

Eric reached his hands out to stop you. But you slapped him away. “Y/N. Let me explain, please.”

“You didn’t Eric!” You shouted, feeling the tears stream down your face as all the pieces came together.

Shame crossed Eric’s face.

“Please Eric, tell me you didn’t. That you didn’t do this to me!” You screamed, rubbing the tears from your eyes but stopped cold as you looked at your fingers. They were covered in blood. You truly were vampire now, blood tears and all.

“Y/N.” He said, reaching for you again and this time not letting you stop him as he enveloped you in his strong arms. But you couldn’t stop looking at your fingers.

“Oh my God.”

“You couldn’t understand why I did it.” he said softly against your dirt covered hair. “One minute you were by my side and then the next you were jumping in front of me, taking a bullet in the heart. Pam told me you were too far gone, but-”

You cut him off, pushing at his chest and surprising yourself when you were able to push him away. “You were selfish.”

Eric looked pained at that. “I couldn’t just let you die Y/N! You had so much life left to live and… and I just couldn’t bear the thought of it being ripped away from you.” “And you call this living? Feeding off of people and living in darkness?” You watched as Eric ground his teeth. “I died saving you!” You shoved at his chest again and felt a small amount of satisfaction at watching him stumble. “I took a bullet for you and this is what you do!” You shouted and shoved at Eric again and he let you. He let you get all of your anger out as you continued shoving and punching his chest.

“I died a hero’s death and then you turn me into a fucking monster!” You screamed, giving Eric one last punch hard enough to knock him to the ground. You felt your shoulders sag and then you fell to your knees, letting your blood tears fall to the ground. You felt like all your energy had been sapped out of you, you knew it was the hunger but you dreaded knowing that you’d have to feed.

Eric was already back on his feet and standing in front of you. “I know I was selfish. But, there is no life for me without you, Y/N. There never will be and even if it takes years for you to forgive me I will be right there until you do.”

“What if I never forgive you?” You asked your voice calm and even as you looked up at his pained face.

“Then that’s your choice. I’ve taken enough of your choices.”

Both of you were silent as you stewed over your choices.

“Before you decide to hate me forever can you please just eat. You maybe vampire now but you’ve had nothing to eat and you're weak.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want that.”

“Y/N.” he said in a firm voice.

“Fuck Eric! Lay off! I’m covered in blood and dirt and I’m going to retch at the idea of drinking that right now. I just want to wash everything off of me. Okay?”

Eric just nodded and held out his hand again for you to take.

**** You sighed softly at the feel of the shower washing off all the dirt and blood that was still on you from last night. You watched as the blood swirled down the drain, the last remnants of your human life being washed from you.

You turned the shower up, feeling that your skin was still cold but you still didn’t feel the warmth of the shower seep through your skin. So, you turned it up hotter and hotter. But still you felt nothing as you stood there under the scalding water but you were still cold on the inside.

You don’t know how long you had been standing here in that shower, but without realizing it you saw Eric’s hand reach past the shower curtain and turn down the water before he stepped inside himself. He was naked but there was nothing sexual between you as he climbed into the shower and grabbed the shampoo and started washing the dirt from your hair.

He was gentle as he covered your eyes and washed the soap from your hair then grabbed the conditioner and began to repeat the process. All the while he whispered to himself in another language but you couldn’t be bothered to find out what he was saying.

There was a time when you dreamt about your life with Eric and how it didn’t matter how happy you were with each other there would always be a time when you’d have to say goodbye to one another. Whether it was a few years down the line or in death. But, now there would be no goodbye unless you decided to leave him and you were pretty sure that even if it would kill him he would let you go this time. Like he said, he had taken enough of your choices.

You were tired of being angry, tired of thinking about what your life would be like now. You knew why he did it, and honestly you couldn’t say that you wouldn’t do the same for him, you did take a bullet for him. You just wanted to enjoy the feel of Eric’s hands on you again, wanted to enjoy the fact that you could hold him again.

So, you turned in his arms and wrapped your arms around his waist holding him tight. You heard his small sigh as he wrapped his hands around your head and held you as he stroked your wet hair.

You both had a lot to discuss for the future and maybe that future didn’t include Eric but right now you wanted to enjoy the first spark of warmth in your chest you felt all night.

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