#he can't have a mental breakdown if he's happy. & i need him to have a mental breakdown

[generalsdiary]

what if ratio breaks down and falls apart?

Dr. Ratio (x Aventurine at the end)

warnings: mental breakdown

word count: 1.9k

a/n: lots of ppl seemed to like this idea so here it is, not beta read, ffs come home aventurine

description: Dr. Ratio breaks down (angst), Aventurine mentioned/shows up at one point (fluff dare I say)

his hands shook immensely with the keys in his hand, the heavy doors open and close. he can feel it. he can no longer hold on. being a victim of routine, he manages to push on just a few moments longer, to put away his bag, lock the door, and take off his shoes. few steps through the hallway and it is over. his body trembling as his chest swells up with pain and sadness, so many emotions mixed up in one. filling up in his throat like a peach pit, choking him and making it harder to breathe. he falls to his knees, his breathing heavy, rapid, and irregular. in moments like these, he knows how to take care of himself, how to help himself, how to fix this. but it is too much. he can't. he also... why does everyone get to break down but not him? he can barely breathe in and breathe out, as many thoughts fill his mind.

eyes filling with hot tears except he cannot cry that much, he has always been incapable of actually crying and letting it all out.

like a water dam overflowing and drowning him along with it. the dam filling with water and using it in useful ways until the workers don’t show up, the tools get clogged, old, and broken. the dam overflows. nature always comes back to take its due, to pick up the price, especially human nature.

he isn't enough. he will never be enough. it is a fool's job, what he is trying to achieve. how could he ever spread knowledge everywhere, making it available to everyone? how is that being realistic? hopeful fool, he knows better than to hope. an idiot. a failure. why did he even think he could be capable of doing that? the aeons were right to not recognize him, he isn't worth their attention- he keeps failing. isn't it the definition of insanity to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? not enough. never enough. such expectations were put on him and he jumped to fulfill them- and when he didn't achieve the last one- to become a true genius, then he failed. failed the mold he was put in. failed the beliefs of everyone around him and their expectations. they were all wrong; everyone who said he could do something, become someone relevant, someone who matters and makes a significant change. and the things he did, well they were never perfect and always could have been done much better. for fuck's sake he fails his students, just how many get the actual knowledge, and how many give up? he isn't good enough, he should be better, and get the knowledge across in a way everyone would accept and know and learn. why is he not good enough? he keeps trying and it is never enough. not once has the universe said, ‘okay, you have done enough, you can rest now.’

why does he keep trying? and he is alone in all of it. who is there who cares for him- who puts his view of self aside, who can.. please.. who can please view him as a human.. a person.. just... as someone who doesn't need to be extraordinary- can he be loved in such a way, appreciated? who would care for him? when all that is said about him is that he is rude, when he only tells the truth and tries to help, he is told that he is insensitive, egotistical, and he is so far from it. why does everybody hate him? aeons, he hates himself. why was he born, created like this? it would've been so much easier to have been born an idiot, dumb, to work a normal job, and be happy.

he stares at an empty spot as these thoughts overtake him, and then he sobs as the next ones come... he wants to be held, oh so much. to be embraced, to be cared for, thought of in a positive way, for his name to be called with love. no one is enough, he isn't enough.

his thoughts keep spiraling in a whirlpool, almost like he is frozen in space. eyes fixed, hands shaking and the occasional warm tear falling down his cheeks, which are now red and hot.

his skin feels like it is burning, the clothes on him overwhelming him but he cannot move, it hurts, it all hurts. why does it hurt so much? this vicious cycle never ends. how could he stand up again when he is falling apart at the seams? is he worth it at all, the life he lives, if he cannot even help himself? he will never be enough. he wants to shout, to yell in frustration and anger- all swallowed in his throat while he continues to sit.. broken on the floor.

his thoughts become more incoherent, how could he.. why.. help.. not enough.. and so on. curses, hatred directed at himself, sorrow, and pity. his ears deaf at any sound, he is so lost in his mind, it is like he isn't even there.

this isn't the first time, but it was never this hard. he picked himself up before; standing, going automatically around his home to take care of his basic needs. but now he has no hope, no care for it, he cannot move. immobile and lost, so… so deep in this vortex.

the doors open and close. there's a voice, he doesn't even register it, “..tas?... home?”

the person makes a few more steps and sees Veritas, sitting on the ground. Veritas manages to register distant footsteps, rushed- it doesn't matter; he isn't even there. only his body is.

the person sits down in front of Veritas and hands him a glass of water. his eyes are unfocused, he appears still, hands on the floor with a slight tremor, cheeks shiny from the tears and a warm red color. instinctively he accepts the glass and drinks the water. the cool fluid makes him consciously blink and float back to the present moment. he registers the voice of the person in front of him.

“Veritas.. I'm here, good- the water is good for you- I'm here, alright?” his eyes focus on the blond man sitting in front of him. Aventurine's eyes are filled with worry and his hands cup Veritas' face, caressing slowly. his voice is calm, “you will be fine- I got you, okay?” Aventurine nods to himself more than to Ratio. his hand moves to the indigo hair, pulling his fingers through the soft locks in a comforting manner. Veritas' eyes are trained on him, full of pain and heartbreak, yet his face is neutral, so hurt.

“your head got to you again? I keep telling you- don't listen to it- it isn't right it only says mean things which aren't true. do you hear me?” the only thing he gets in response is a slow blink from the taller man. and it is enough.

“it tipped over, it isn't as bad as your head claims- don't listen to it, listen to me, focus on me. I’ve got you, I'm here-“ he pulls Veritas into his chest, cradling him in a way. “-and I'm not going anywhere”

fresh tears soak Aventurine's shirt. it hurts to be cared for, to be seen, and for that person to stay and not leave.. it feels undeserving and it just makes him cry harder. he sobs into Aventurine's shoulder, breaking down fully. his voice comes out high-pitched, breaking, “I... I.. it is so hard-” he sobs harder and tightly embraces Aventurine.

“I'm here, you will be okay, this will pass, I have you, don't- don't struggle against them, focus on me, please?” Aventurine pulls away to raise Veritas' chin and meet his eyes, those sunset eyes filled with tears. and he weakly nods.

“focus on me, my voice, Doc, focus on my voice. and I'm warm- you can feel it yes? my chest is warm and my hands- my scent- you can smell the perfume right? focus on me, ground with me. leave that dreadful place- it never did you any good.” he continues using safe words, repeating them, and when Veritas manages to get a grasp on reality once more; he feels empty, numb and Aventurine takes care of him. Aventurine helps him eat a proper meal, bathes with him where he holds him close against his chest, kissing his temple, and repeating that everything will be okay.

Aventurine holds him tightly in bed and whispers only the softest affirmations. before Veritas falls asleep, Aventurine mumbles kind words with his fingers in his hair.

he stays mostly awake that night, just in case Ratio wakes up in distress or from a nightmare. he doesn't mind it. he cares for him, if needed he'd pick his pieces up every day and help him put himself back together. Veritas is his, and he will always be there for him.

the morning turns out to be a slow one. Veritas would tiredly gaze at Aventurine, the blond man asleep into the late morning, and he wouldn't dare start his day- not yet, not now, not without him. Veritas' thoughts are slow this early in the day, they are quiet. he simply observes the younger man. finding some type of solace in it. he doesn't dare touch him as if the beautiful man was a statue made of glass and might break from a single touch.

when his eyes do open he hums and moves to press his face into Veritas' soft chest.

like it is the first time, Ratio is surprised, frozen for a few moments before he relaxes and embraces Aventurine.

“sleep well?”

he nods.

“I rescheduled my stuff, and I hope you will yours too-“, Veritas interrupts him, “..I did.” his voice quiet, monotone.

“today.. today will be easier, okay?” he raises his head, looking up. “I will be with you as long as you need and then some. please be kind to yourself. you need it” he whispers the last sentence and presses his lips into Ratio's cheek.

“I'll try... thank you.. for.. yesterday, dear gambler”

Aventurine nods, “I love you,” he says, easily, as if he didn't have to think those words through before he said them but it conveyed everything he wanted them to say. that he would be there for him, that he'd take care of him, that he would be his.

slight shock is obvious in Veritas’ eyes, that he would be loved gives him a stutter in his response. he feels so vulnerable, bare and naked in front of him. his emotions nude especially after being seen in the state he was in yesterday and despite that... or perhaps specifically because of it... Aventurine said that. with fear, felt on both sides, but also assurance that this is right, that it is a fact he softly says, “I... I love you too.”

beat. both staring into the other's eyes. Veritas cups his cheek. thumb drawing small circles, voice but a whisper, “please don't ever leave me” in that moment he is baren, vulnerable, his cards are on the table for the gambler to gamble off or hold tightly to his chest and fold.

Aventurine answers quickly with a small nervous smile, “the same goes for you too, Doc”

with all those emotions being so loud and scary, Veritas cannot keep up a coy act and even when he does Aventurine sees right through him.

“I promise” Veritas utters and seals it with a soft kiss.

#honkai star rail #dr ratio #hsr #dr ratio angst #analysis #dr ratio fluff #aventurine #aventurine x dr ratio #veritas ratio #aventio #raturine #ratiorine #comfort #veritas ratio angst

[ckret2]

Chapter 48 of human Bill Cipher slowly dying inside for 24 hours straight with no signs of stopping anytime soon:

The Eclipse: Part 6

Over a month since his death and after nearly 50 chapters, at long last, the moment you've all been waiting for:

Bill has a complete physical and mental breakdown.

Unfortunately there's only one person available to deal with it.

They landed near where they'd camped last night. While the Pines climbed out, Bill stared at the sharp gray rocks beneath the cliff. The blood was gone. It took him a moment to process that Ford was speaking: "We can pack our tents, return Tate's boat, and borrow a phone to call Stanley for a ride."

Bill numbly climbed onto land.

Their tents were in disarray, but more or less where they'd left them the night before. While Ford and Dipper dealt with the largest tent and cleaned up the campsite, Bill methodically attempted to fold up the tent he'd slept in.

He couldn't make sense of it. There were too many plastic rods with too many little joints and too many fabric flaps, he couldn't parse the geometry of it. This should be easy, he'd watched Dipper assemble the tent last night, how hard could it be to do the same in reverse?

But it wasn't working. His hands were shaking. The joints were bending wrong, the joints were bending in directions that shouldn't exist, in impossible dimensions, shrinking and expanding perversely as they twisted in alien foreshortening—

Bill let out a gasp so loud and sharp that Ford and Dipper immediately whipped around to face him. Ford asked, "What is it?"

Bill couldn't speak. He just stared down at his awful human legs.

"Bill?"

Voice very far away—but impressively calm and flat—Bill said, "I have to sit down."

"Why? What happened?"

"My legs aren't working. I can't feel them."

His knees buckled. He tried to grip them to keep them straight, but found only one arm responded. "And—my left arm." He dropped to his knees in the mud.

And suddenly he was the center of attention, two humans moving around him in a dizzying flurry, all grotesque limbs and fabric: "Hey, are you okay?" "What happened? Are you injured?" "Think we should get help?" "Maybe he needs food—"

Too much. He closed his eyes, but there were still fingers on his arm and shoulders and back. He swatted at them with his functioning hand. "Don't touch me don't touch me DON'T TOUCH ME!" His shriek startled the birds from a nearby tree. He attempted to bite somebody, he wasn't sure who—this was what he'd been reduced to, no legs, no strength, no power, he couldn't even protect himself from being touched, all he had left was his teeth—but he misjudged the distance and bit only air. But it was enough to make the humans back off, shrinking into the distance.

"Don't touch me. Stop trying to move me. Don't ask me why I can't move. I don't know. This—this—" he gestured frantically at his body. He was moving too fast, talking too fast. "This—corpse—human body—is stupid. It's just being stupid! I need to sit. Leave me alone, I need to sit. I need to sit, and—look at nothing, and breathe." He was talking far too fast, breathing too fast. "I need it so much. Go away."

No matter how hard Bill tried to imagine the humans spontaneously ceasing to exist, they did not go away. Ford knelt in front of him, studying his face. "Try to smile."

Bill forced a smile. "Good. Good, good. Positive thinking."

"No. I'm trying to see if you're having a stroke." He sat back. "Your face muscles are still working symmetrical."

Bill decided to keep smiling anyway. He thought it might help. Happy happy happy.

"You say your can't feel your legs."

"Yes."

"Or your left arm."

"Yes."

"Did you feel any pain beforehand? Tingling in the limbs, or...?"

"No—no, no. They were working fine and then they were gone. They just—disappeared." Bill laughed. The laugh went on too long and sounded too high and too nervous. 

Ford nodded. "Okay. Drink this."

A water bottle materialized in Bill's field of vision. It took a couple of tries for Bill to manipulate his hand through three-dimensional space to grasp it. He shakily drank as much as he could. It tasted like drowning.

"Dipper, run to the bait shop and call for an... The nearest hospital is at least twenty miles outside Gravity Falls' weirdness barrier, Bill can't get there. Call for a doctor and I'll stay here to—"

"No," Bill snapped, "no no no, don't call a doctor. I don't want—" He didn't want to be seen like this. He didn't want somebody picking him up and helping him into an ambulance like he was too weak to move himself. He didn't want Mabel to know. Bad enough Ford and the brat did. "I don't need it. I'm fine."

"Fine?!" Ford gestured at him in disbelief. "Three fourths of your limbs aren't functioning—!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Something's wrong with the body. It's got nothing to do with me. I'm fine, I'm just in it." He shut his eyes and tried to breathe. "Just—just let me sit."

"Let you sit and then do what?"

"Give me time. It'll come back. Don't tell anyone and—stop looking at me."

There was silence. Bill didn't want to open his eyes. He heard Ford stand and walk away.

####

"Do you think he's faking?" Dipper murmured.

Ford hated that that always had to be the first question. "I can't imagine what he'd stand to benefit from pretending he can't walk." Bill had been desperate to get back inside the last two days. If he'd now decided to—what? maybe take advantage of his freedom to try to escape?—then why hadn't he done that when they got separated in the lake, or in the caves where Bill could see in the dark and Ford hadn't known how to call the geodites? If he was trying to separate Ford and Dipper from each other so he could kill them one by one—why hadn't he just let them die?

It was hard not to think about how he really had saved them for no clear reason.

"He's spent two very stressful days hardly eating, sleeping poorly, and hiking through half the mountain. I'd say he needs food and rest. And probably more water." He'd gulped down two thirds of Ford's water bottle.

"Seriously? He can't feel his legs, is—is that normal for like a day without food and sleep?" Dipper asked. "People can go longer than that, right? You've gone longer."

"It's not a 'normal' symptom of exhaustion, hunger, or dehydration. But I think he'll fight us if we try to get medical help. Let's deal with the immediate problems first and—see where we are then. Even if it doesn't help, at least then he won't be paralyzed and starving."

Dipper nodded uncertainly. "What do we do if he's dying?"

The boy catastrophized at the drop of a hat. In a way, Ford supposed it was a good thing—having been through his fair share of catastrophes, he knew it helped to be prepared—but Dipper was so young. "Get him to a doctor as soon as we can; and, if that isn't enough... hope we're lucky." In other words: hope Bill stayed dead.

Dipper nodded again. "What's our strategy if Weirdmageddon restarts? Maybe... I wonder if that's what the Axolotl was trying to warn me—"

"Lunch first," Ford said. "Then we can plan for the apocalypse."

####

Bill knew they were going to make him move. They hated him. They would parade him through the streets to make a mockery of him, look at the alien loser in a malfunctioning corpse, washed-up puppeteer who can't even control a meat marionette, he's already dead and you can make his corpse in the forest a tourist destination—

"Okay," Ford said. "We'll give it an hour. Dipper's heading to town to get some proper food and call the shack."

The shack. Like a prison cell with an open door and a black hole inside trying to suck him back in. "Don't tell them—"

Dipper said, "I won't, I'm just letting them know we're not dead. And that we'll call again in a couple of hours."

No doubt so that Bill couldn't kill them without the shack knowing something was wrong. "Right."

"Do you... want any specific food?"

"Not hungry."

There was a pause. "Right. I'll just... grab something."

Bill didn't care what he did. As Dipper left the sound of each footstep was like a knife in Bill's ears. He just needed to breathe, needed to breathe and be normal and feel normal and happy—

Something soft landed on his head.

Bill opened his eyes.

There was an unzipped, slightly moist sleeping bag draped over his head and around his shoulders; and Ford standing several feet away, hands awkwardly clasped behind his back, looking somewhat embarrassed with himself.

Bill said, "What."

Ford cleared his throat. "It. Helped when you were, ah... had a hair cut. I thought—it can't hurt."

It took Bill a moment to figure out what he meant. "Oh." The towel. Ford had seen him hide under a towel. Right. 

Ford winced and muttered, "Maybe it can hurt."

Bill croaked, "What."

It wasn't until he tried to speak that Bill realized he was crying so hard he couldn't breathe. His vision swam, his shoulders shook, his breath came in sharp hitches—no no no no, that wasn't okay, not in front of— Stop, stop, stop.

He covered his eyes with his hand. The water bottle slid off his thighs and spilled on the ground. Between gasping breaths, Bill forced out, "This's—this is—good. Good."

"How is it...?"

"It's a—hint. This—it's—prob... probably... ps-psycho—som—ss—" 

"Psychosomatic?"

"Mm. Mhmm." He tried to get in a deeper breath and failed. "'Sgreat. Means—no inj—injuries. Flesh is—fine."

"So you're..." Ford's footsteps came closer, "saying it's psychological—?"

"No!" Bill let out a hysterical laugh. "I'm FINE! 'M happy. It's the body. It's—some hormone—hunger—exhaustion—just... s-synapses—and neurotrans—transmm—tr—"

"Easy. You can barely talk." He heard Ford sit next to him, felt the sleeping bag shift as he brushed against it. "Try to focus on breathing—"

"WHAT do you THINK I'm TRYING to—" Bill ineffectively pummeled Ford through the sleeping bag. "Move! Move, move, move! Don't t—touch—" He let out a frustrated scream that morphed into a humiliating sob, and had to clap his functioning hand over his mouth to smother the sound. He was not this body; he was a separate thing locked inside the body. This body was a prison, this body was a punishment. The legs didn't work, because the body was doing something to him. These weren't his tears, his grief, his fear. They were the body's. Which hormone was at fault? What could he blame other than himself?

He felt Ford's weight shift away from his side. "Okay, okay," Ford said. "Just... take it easy."

Bill socked him again. "Don't t-talk to me like a horse." He covered his eyes.

He didn't mean to risk his life for Ford.

Former friend, false worshiper, useless pawn, now enemy. Bill had just seen him floating out there and he'd done it—and he'd forgotten he could die.

In the Nightmare Realm he had saved his friends from peril billions of times before, because it was so easy for him, powers like a god, to see someone he was fond of and casually pluck them out of harm's way. It had been billions upon billions of years since Bill had been vulnerable to physical harm. He'd seen Ford in danger and he'd done what he always did and he'd forgotten he could have died.

He could have died. Eternally, permanently, last chance—he could have died.

And it would have been for nothing.

Bill was selfish. He had effortlessly saved friends billions of times but he'd also casually let them die just as many—assuming he didn't kill them himself. He saved friends because he liked them; but he didn't put himself out for ex-friends. Ford hadn't had one nice thing to say to Bill in years. Bill would never lure Ford back under his sway. Ford's survival endangered Bill's. But Bill had saved him anyway. He hadn't even stopped to think.

He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to think about saving the human hellbent on killing him, he didn't want to think about almost dying, he didn't want to think about how peaceful it had been floating under the water, how easy it would have been to open his mouth and breathe in—he didn't want to think. He wanted to stop thinking. He wanted to empty his mind. He couldn't meditate through his hitching breaths and the way his stomach ached from struggling to keep his sobs silent, and his legs and left arm were gone.

He was fine. He was happy. He'd always been happy. Happy happy happy.

His entire body shook with sobs. He was dizzy—gasping between sobs for air he couldn't get. He was so lightheaded and crying so hard he couldn't stay upright. The edges of his vision went dark.

Ford wrapped an arm around Bill's shoulders and tugged him against his side. He held him up until Bill was too exhausted to cry anymore.

####

There was zipper noise, then a sound like shifting vinyl. Bill cracked his fingers apart to peer through them. Ford had unrolled the portable chessboard and was setting it up. "What?"

"It looks like we'll be here a while," Ford said, addressing his statement to the chessboard rather than to Bill. "It's... something else to focus on."

Bill wasn't sure what the emotion clawing its way through the grief-stricken haze in his mind was, but it felt very similar to relief. He nodded. "S—smart. I'm already—getting bored." His cheeks itched, his eyes burned, and his head was throbbing. As Ford set up the board, Bill closed his eyes and tried again to force himself to breathe more evenly. He was still dizzy from hyperventilating. Embarrassing—even a comatose human can breathe, and Bill couldn't even get that right. "Black?"

"I know."

Of course he knew. Bill always chose black. "First?"

"Fine." And Ford also knew, despite white traditionally getting the first move, Bill always moved first.

Bill waited in numb silence for Ford to finish setting up the board and sit on the other side. Moving almost automatically, Bill picked up a queen, hopped it over his line of pawns—

"Play it properly," Ford said irritably. "I put up with your cheating and lying for years, I'm not putting up with any more."

Bill gave Ford a look that he intended to be deeply offended, but immediately realized was probably just wet and pathetic. "Really? Now?"

Ford at least had the good sense to look a tad embarrassed, but he said, "I didn't set up the board to watch you move random pieces around like an untrained kindergartener."

"Three of my limbs don't work, Stanford."

"Are you suggesting your right arm doesn't remember the proper rules of chess?"

He wondered what Ford would say if he said yes. "I have a headache."

"You're probably dehydrated." Ford rummaged around in his backpack and offered over another bottle of water.

Bill reluctantly accepted it. He probably was dehydrated. "You owe me your life."

Ford fixed him with an unimpressed look. "You're trying to cash in a life debt... so you can cheat at chess?"

Bill opened his mouth; paused as he slowly thought that over; and dissolved into broken, hysterical giggles. "I don't know w-what I'm trying to do." He covered his mouth, squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to steady his breathing again.

Ford sighed. He waited until Bill had regained some control over himself; and then he said, "You can make up one new rule."

Bill considered the offer. "Total, or per game?"

"Per game."

Deep breath. "Fine. But I'm not telling you what it is. You have to guess it."

Ford considered it. "Three conditions."

"Mm?"

"One: you have to share what the rule was at the end of the game. If any of your illegal moves didn't conform to that rule, you automatically lose."

"Mm."

"Two: any rule you come up with has to apply to both sides of the board equally. Nothing that only advantages you or disadvantages me," Ford said. "Three: if I can figure out what your new rule is before the game's over, I can use it too. Obviously, you lose if I ask you about the rule and you lie."

Bill mulled over Ford's terms. His head was so foggy, he'd already forgotten the first one. "Deal."

"Deal."

####

Bill lost every game.

Badly.

He was clobbered. He was creamed. He was a faint red smear upon the pavement.

Back in Ford's dreams, Bill had won a good four-fifths of their games. Ford had heard during his travels that Bill was a mediocre player, but he didn't think he was so bad that all of those games had been won due to cheating. Even when he wasn't cheating, Bill had sometimes taken Ford by surprise.

But now, Bill was squinting at the board like he was struggling to see where the pieces were. Occasionally his fingers pinched down on thin air like he was trying to grab a non-existent piece. So Ford assumed the catastrophic losses were more a reflection of Bill's mental state than his skill level.

The option to make up rules didn't save Bill, but it at least made the games more interesting—and unlike the rest of Bill's abysmal playing, the new rules gave Ford a glimpse of the devious mind still buried somewhere in the traumatized human body.

The first round, Bill decided that the queen could leapfrog over pieces like a knight, and when Ford pointed out that would mean whoever had the first move could put the opposing king in checkmate in one move, Bill grudgingly amended the rule: the queen could leapfrog to an empty square, but could only take pieces in a straight line in the conventional manner. Ford had to maintain a phalanx of pieces jealously clinging to his king to guard against Bill teleporting his queen to the king's side. Bill managed to check him twice before Ford won.

One round, Bill decreed that rooks could only land on pieces the same color as they were sitting on, then smugly nestled his king on a white square next to Ford's rook on a black square; and then promptly lost the game when Ford pointed out both of Bill's rooks were currently on white squares, meaning he'd broken his own rule before he'd revealed it.

One round he decided that kings could move like queens, which Ford only discovered when he thought he'd checkmated him and then Bill zoomed his king across the board to take Ford's bishop; and then Bill lost a few moves later when Ford used his own king's newly revealed power to properly corner Bill.

One round Bill decided that once any back row piece was captured, it reincarnated in the body of the corresponding front row pawn. Ford genuinely liked the new rule—it meant you had to capture and checkmate both the king and the king's pawn before the game was over, and you had to be more cautious about what pieces you took since it could inadvertently set up a previously harmless enemy pawn to devastate your side of the board. But by the time Bill revealed that rule by jumping a pawn like a knight, Ford had already taken Bill's king's pawn and seen a way to checkmate him in two moves. It was a sore disappointment to end the game before getting to experiment with the new rule.

A few games were so short that Ford won without ever seeing Bill pull a nonstandard move. Round seven was one such game. Ford cornered Bill with a knight and a bishop. That had been the quickest match yet. Game over. "Checkmate."

"Checkmate," Bill said. 

Ford paused, looking over the board, thinking moving his bishop must have given one of Bill's pieces line of sight to his king; but no, his king was perfectly safe. "What?"

"Checkmate."

"You can't mate me, I just mated you."

"I know. Checkmate."

Frowning, Ford said, "Explain."

"The extra rule this game is that both kings are wearing suicide vests." He tapped his king, "He's wired up with enough explosives to wipe out the whole board." There was a look of steely exhaustion on his face. He looked like the kind of desperate, hopeless man who would put on a suicide vest. "If I'm going down, you're coming with me."

Ford laughed so hard his stomach hurt.

It was petty revenge for losing seven games in a row. A frustrated child flipping the chessboard, but making a self-deprecating joke out of it: as long as we both know I'm going to lose anyway...

When Ford had recovered himself enough to look at Bill again, Bill was giving him a faint, grim smile that didn't quite make it to his one open eye. Still—he looked a little less miserable than he had for the past hour. Or the past couple days.

Ford said, "We'll call that one a stalemate."

"I'll take it."

####

After trying all morning and half the afternoon, Dipper had remembered part of what the Axolotl had told him. Just one phrase: sixty degrees that come in threes. He could hear the rhythm and rhyme of whatever the Axolotl said next, something something something -eez—it rhymed, he was sure of that—but the rest...?

It took Dipper over an hour and a half to get back to the campsite; he'd gotten lost in his thoughts, and consequently, gotten lost in the forest. He returned with a plastic bag of the kind of junk food they regularly saw Bill consuming in the shack, a few slices of gas station pizza, and a clear takeout container of nachos. Bill immediately went for the nachos.

While Bill was inspecting the circle-shaped tortilla chips with obvious disappointment, Dipper rummaged around in the plastic bag until he found a small jar of rainbow sprinkles and offered them to Bill. Bill took it without acknowledging Dipper, awkwardly untwisted the lid with one hand and ripped off the seal with his teeth, and liberally drowned his nachos.

"The gas station looks like an earthquake hit it," Dipper reported. "And most of the cars had popped tires. I guess they must've floated up and then crashed back down." He took a cheese pizza slice and offered the box to Ford. "Nobody I asked saw the Axolotl."

Ford glanced at Bill, expecting him to have some kind of comment on that; but Bill just grunted "Mm," focused on the chess game like he thought he'd be killed if he glanced away.

Dipper pointed out when Bill pulled an illegal move, Ford explained the new rules they were playing by, and Dipper settled down to watch. He tried to razz Bill the next time he lost; but Bill made such a pathetic figure that he couldn't even enjoy making fun of him and quickly gave up.

During the next game, Bill unexpectedly slid a pawn backward diagonally to take out Ford's queen. While Ford was silently fuming over the loss of his most powerful piece, Dipper hazarded, "Can pawns capture both forward and backward?" That would have been Ford's guess too.

But Bill simply said, "No."

Dipper mumbled, "Huh," lost focus on the game, and stared off into the distance, murmuring something under his breath. He kept getting lost in his thoughts today. Ford supposed nobody in this hiking party was in the best mental state.

Maybe pawns could move like bishops? But when Ford tried to slide one diagonally across the board, Bill said, "That's illegal," and Ford returned it to its original spot. There was some hidden condition he was missing. Maybe which color square the pawn was on? Or maybe it was like en passant, you could only capture an enemy piece backwards if that was the first time the enemy piece moved?

When the game was over—Ford won, but Bill had held out longer than usual—Ford asked, "All right, what was the new rule?"

"Pawns can capture forward and backward." While Ford and Dipper stared at him in mute outrage, Bill ignored them to casual shift his posture from kneeling—his knees had gotten sore—to lotus position, and said, "Next game?" as though he couldn't even be bothered to notice the humans' fury.

"But that's exactly what we said!" Ford snapped. "You lied to me!"

"No," Bill said, "I lied to the kid. I'm not playing against the kid. Why are you paying attention to what I tell him?"

Dipper demanded, "How is that fair? Anyone listening would think—"

But he fell silent when Ford laughed. "Of course," Ford said. "I should have expected that. Any loophole you can find. That's part of the game to you, isn't it."

Bill gave Ford an unsettlingly knowing look; and Ford supposed it was part of the game to him, too.

(Somewhere in the back of Bill's foggy mind, he kept count: three times. Before today, Bill wasn't sure he'd heard Ford laugh once this summer. What changed? What was Bill doing differently? Maybe Ford only liked him when he was completely broken.)

It took until halfway through the next game for Ford to realize Bill had moved his legs.

####

Over Ford's protests that they should wait until his strength was back, Bill insisted they get moving immediately. He'd rather be locked in the shack again than spend one more minute sitting by the lake.

"I hate being surrounded by trees. Why do humans like nature so much. This is miserable." Caked in mud, still wearing a towel like a skirt, teetering with exhaustion, Bill certainly looked like the most miserable camper to ever exist. "I cannot begin to tell you how sick I am of looking at pines."

Ford wondered whether the pun was intentional.

Bill's limbs were weak and uncoordinated. He could twitch his left fingers when asked, but his grip strength was nonexistent and the arm hung limply at his side when he wasn't actively trying to use it. His legs moved, but when he tried to get to his feet he collapsed back into the mud. But he thought he could probably stand with support. He ignored the hand Ford offered and crawled to the nearest tree to lean on as he got to his feet. Ford could see Bill's knees tremble.

"I don't need your help," Bill grumbled. "I can stand fine on my own."

Ford wouldn't argue with Bill's definition of fine. "But can you walk?"

"I could." He couldn't even make the lie convincing.

"Then be my guest."

"I'm saving my strength."

It would almost be funny if he wasn't being such an inconvenience. "Well, you're here and the boat is over there." Ford gestured. The shore was much further away than it had been yesterday. "If you can't walk, then you're either crawling or you're getting help. Which you'd prefer is between you and your dignity."

Bill's face reddened. "Don't talk to me about my dignity, like you've ever cared about my dignity..." He twisted around to inspect the tree behind him, tired gaze looking over the branches—maybe he was planning to break off a walking stick? He attempted to grab a thin branch that wouldn't serve as a walking stick for a toddler. He wasn't strong enough to break it off. He kept trying.

They were never getting to the boat. "Please let me help."

"Go jump in a lake. Again."

How did Ford handle this without prodding at Bill's bruised ego? "Consider it my thanks for—ah..." Ford cleared his throat. "For actually telling the truth about the eclipse. In spite of... what was no doubt immense temptation to lie like a cheap rug. Since we didn't believe you anyway." He had averted his gaze in embarrassment; he forced himself to face Bill like a man. Bill was actually looking at him again. "And for not chucking my gnephew's body off the cliff when you had the opportunity." The bar was so low it was on the ground, and yet it was still impressive that Bill hadn't found a way to dig under it. "And... for saving my life."

Bill set his jaw tight, as if he didn't like being reminded of his moment of decency; but he said, "Fine, get over here." He held out his good arm. "Help your hero and savior limp triumphantly off the field of battle."

When Ford offered his hand, Bill ignored it, and practically snarled when Ford tried to wrap it around his waist for support. Rather than putting his arm over Ford's shoulders, Bill seized a wad of fabric near the collar of Ford's t-shirt as a handhold to hang his weight from. Ford felt less like he was supporting Bill, and more like he'd just gotten in trouble and his father was marching him into the living room by his collar to give him a stern talking-to.

"First time you've ever thanked me for anything I've done for you," Bill muttered. Ford told himself he could drop Bill once they were on the boat.

Dipper was completely zoned out, waiting on the boat staring off in the direction the Axolotl had flown. He didn't react as Bill sat next to him, and Bill didn't acknowledge he existed. Ford started the motor, and they crossed the lake toward Tate & Backle's Bait & Tackle.

####

(You can't imagine how long I've been waiting to post this chapter. Hope you enjoyed, I'd love to hear what you think, and I hope those of y'all who have been waiting for Bill to cry like a baby are satisfied.)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #grunkle ford #stanford pines #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

[dotster001]

Hi i don't know, if your requests are still open, if not you can ignore it or do it whenever you want.

Just readed your prompt, when reader suddenly passes out with Vil, Jamil, Floyd and Rook. I was wondering, if you could write something similar for Malleus, Lilia and maybe the teachers Trein and Crewel?

(I'm happy you enjoyed those! And I hope you like these too!)

Part One Part Three

CW:Burnout (obviously), mental breakdown/trauma in Trein's part, spoilers for Vargas training camp in Trein's part, injury in Crewel's part

A/N: I've said this in my pin post, but I age up characters to actual college age, because I am in college, and didn't realize until a few months in the characters were not. Everyone here is. 18+ If it makes you feel more comfortable, imagine this as a grad school situation.

He's been pouting a lot lately. Which for a normal person wouldn't be a problem, but Mal's pouting usually meant that the weather was bad as well. He was pouty, because whenever you had time in your incredibly busy schedule to see him, you still had to be working on your homework. With everything Crowley had you do for the school, you had to share your "dragon time" with your "homework time". But your boyfriend looked very cute pouty, so part of you wasn't too upset about it.

Until the day you were so busy with something that you hadn't eaten or slept in over 24 hours and just…collapsed during dragon/homework time.

Malleus immediately panics. He assumes you have had a heart attack and died (Mal…college students are unlikely to have heart attacks)  Once he finds a pulse, and sees your breathing, he scoops you up and teleports to Lilia faster than he has ever teleported.

He's sobbing as he answers Lilia's questions, not entirely certain that this wasn't something he did. Lilia easily is able to figure out what has happened, and goes to make you some soup for when you wake up. Malleus is too relieved to think about the fact that while Lilia's soup will have loads of protein, it might send you into shock. In the meantime, he puts a cool cloth on your forehead, and caresses your cheek.

After you wake up and barely survive the soup Malleus spoon feeds you he tucks you into his massive comfy bed (you can't tell me he doesn't have the fluffiest comforters) and then…vanishes.

From here on out, everytime you get a task from Crowley, it's already finished by the time you get around to it. It's weird, but it means you have time to keep homework separate from "dragon time". Which makes a certain fae very happy.

Lilia has spent years learning how to care for humans, especially since most of them *cough* Silver *cough cough* Y/N are not good at caring for themselves.  While his recipes are terrible, he is right in some ways about making sure to get all your nutrients. While it can feel a little patronizing sometimes, he is right that you need sleep. While he is a little unorthodox in how he has fun, he's right that you need to have leisure time and do things you enjoy.

What you don't know is that behind the scenes Lilia has already been having regular arguments with a certain Crow about your workload. When two fae fight, it's never good, but you don't have to worry about what's going on.

Azul and the tweels get called back home out of nowhere, and now you're in charge of all the paperwork that he is usually in charge of handling, both for the lounge and for the other Housewarden's. Lilia sees less and less of his sweet human, and he's suspicious part of it is because you are avoiding him, knowing full well he would make you take a break.

He has to admit, your avoiding skills are actually pretty good. So he's not actually there when you collapse. And he's furious. Especially when he finds out that Crowley also decided to add his own paperwork to your ever growing pile. He only knows you collapsed when he hears some randos gossiping about how "the prefect collapsed running laps today, and the idiot duo had to walk them to the infirmary." He's immediately flying to the infirmary, powered by his pure rage.

He knows it's not your fault, especially since you have nothing to your name in this world, so it's easy to manipulate you into this position. So he does his best not to take his anger out on you as he watches you sip apple juice that the nurse gave you, while you do your best to keep your eyes open. Once he is certain that the nurse has things under control, he kisses your forehead, and asks you if you want him to bring you anything.

While he's out getting you a treat, he makes a stop at a certain Crow's office. From here on out you don't see a lot of him. You are a little worried that Lilia may have killed him, but everytime you ask him, he giggles and messes up your hair, before telling you how silly that is.

He's harder on you than he is on most of his students, partially so that no one can claim favoritism, partially because you are just so far behind in history (having it not be your history) that he has to give you extra work and lessons to catch you up. But as a trade off, he tries to be a step ahead of Crowley whenever he can. There's little that happens in the school that he's unaware of, so he's usually able to protect you from his foolish boss.

Until you get sent to the training camp with the sports clubs to assist Vargas. He's furious about this last minute decision, that Crowley conveniently forgot to tell him about, and he's even more angry when he later finds out that you were "kidnapped" and then immediately had to fight a creature in the mines. 

Naturally, your mental health is not so great after the trip. He's starting to see it on your face when you both hang out, and even if he didn't, your work for his class is deteriorating, if you even turn it in at all. 

Then you break down one day when he asks you about it. He can't understand a word you're saying as you sob and yell and shake. But he's pretty sure he has the idea. You've been pushed too far. He sends Lucius to fetch a nurse or counselor , or heck he's sure even Sam would have something to help you relax enough to just breathe. In the meantime, he wraps his arms around you and tries to walk you through breathing exercises, while whispering some praises to you that you can't comprehend in this state, but appreciate all the same.

After someone gives you a potion that helps you relax a little, he leaves you to rest on his office couch with Lucius in charge, and he holds a meeting with the rest of that staff about what's not appropriate to put people through. (Essentially it's Crewel and Trein yelling at Vargas and Crowley about trauma and what their job is supposed to be) 

This never happens again. You continue to have extra work from Trein, but he always ensures he makes time to help you, or give you a soothing tea if he thinks you're starting to drop back into the bad mental state. If you do, he holds you close, and says nothing, while allowing you to spill whatever is plaguing you. 

Prior to him dating you, you had denied his request many times to financially sponsor you. Now that you were together, it was harder to come up with an excuse for him not to. So he'd purchased Ramshackle and renovated it. He'd taken up the expenses for your schooling and food (after much argument  he'd also taken up Grim's) and after several discussions about the future of your relationship, he'd begun helping you through the process of becoming a citizen in a world that had no proof of your existence (a pain and a half, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for his beloved pup). In doing all this, he'd made it very clear to the Headmage that he had no hold over you, and therefore couldn't coerce you into anything.

Divus knew he was a fool for leaving you alone for a week. He had assumed that Crowley had nothing on you anymore, and that he could go help a smaller fashion designer that showed a lot of promise get their career off the ground. At first he was only going to be gone for a week, but it quickly turned into two, then three. He should have recognized the tension in your voice when you'd asked him over the phone when he thought he'd be back. 

When he finally returned, he thought he'd surprise you by showing up where he knew you'd be hanging out with your friends. He'd bought a ring for you that he was particularly pleased with, and he wanted you to have it as soon as possible. His plan was dashed as he watched you collapse into Howl, who immediately started to panic.

With a clear voice Divus took over the scene, picking you up and carrying you to his office where he had all manner of potions. As he pressed one to your lips, he noticed a cast on your arm. He'd ask about it later. 

When you woke up, you wrapped your arms around him, and whispered how much you missed him. He asked what happened, and you tell him how you broke your arm in yet another overblot incudent, and had been working like crazy for Crowley to pay off the medical expenses. 

You've never been scared of your lover. But his eyes were practically glowing with rage, and now you were starting to wonder if you should be scared. Divus does not accept cruelty to animals or humans. And, he keeps his receipts. It's not long before there's a pretty hefty case and Dire is removed as headmage for coercion and endangerment. After that, there aren't any more overblot incidents and the students seem more mentally healthy. How about that?

He decides to wait to give you the ring until you're fully recovered after everything. But he's certain when he asks you the question that comes with it, you'll have an answer he likes. Especially when you nuzzle into him so sweetly while you nap in his office.

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus x reader #malleus draconia #twst malleus #malleus draconia x reader #malleus #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #mozus trein x reader #trein x reader #mozus trein #twst trein #professor trein #twst mozus trein

[waybeforeyourtime]

Why this line was the last straw?

"Why can't I decide how the hell I want to live? I want to live a normal life."

Before S1E1 even hits the 3-minute mark, we see a frustrated Wille make this statement. We, the audience, think it's simply the spoiled demands of a privileged prince.

We come to find out that it's not. It's a boy being forced into a role he doesn't fit into. He's a square peg being shoved into a round hole.

Then he meets Simon. Then he becomes Crown Prince.

"I can't keep doing this anymore."

He tries, but he can't. So, he goes back to Simon. Then he * fucks * up again. The video is leaked. More shame on the family. He lies to be a good prince.

He's surrounded by the privileged and expected to act like the privileged while loving someone unprivileged. August betrays him and hurts Simon because he isn't a good enough Prince.

August: "You have it all, and you don't want it." (paraphrasing).

August can be his backup, but he hates August for what he did. Except Wille is getting desperate. He's lost Simon, and he considers letting that happen to give him the normal life he always wanted. Except August is worse than he thought. August would send Simon to jail to protect himself.

He wants to be a good prince and not let August take the role, somewhat out of spite, too.

Wille - impulsive last-minute Wille - decides, mid-freakin'-speech, to try being true to himself and remain a Royal, and he outs himself publicly and declares that it was him with Simon in the video.

It doesn't change anything, though. In fact, it gets worse. Now, Simon has to fit into the mold of a Royal, and he's miserable. Wille tries to explain how it works but he can't. It's half-hearted. He doesn't believe in it, so how can he sell it to Simon? He doesn't think Simon should have to stop posting his music or being who he is, but it's what is expected of him. It's how the privileged act. They expect the lower class to conform to their wishes. They don't care about the wants or needs of the lower classes.

Simon breaks up with him. Wille's defeated because he knows Simon is right. Simon will never be happy being stuck in the expectations of Royal life. But Wille isn't either. And Wille sees that his mother isn't happy - she's having a mental breakdown. Erik wasn't the perfect brother either. He did toxic things and then covered it up.

Everyone is fake. Except Simon, so he lets him go.

"You'll make a great King."

This was the last straw. Wille had never heard that before. Everything he's ever done has been the wrong thing. The wrong way of thinking. The wrong way of acting. Wanting the wrong things. When he tried to make it right, it failed. Now, his mother is telling him that he'll make a Great King. Why? Because he gave up Simon and tried to fake it like everyone else.

And in that moment, our impulsive last-minute Wille, decides that 'no. he will not make a great king.' He stops just trying to get approval from his parents. He will not carve out pieces of himself to fit in that round hole, and he runs. He runs away from it and runs towards a life where he can make his own choices. He doesn't know who he wants to be, but he knows it's not King.

A hopeful ending. Not a happy ending.

#young royals #again #it did not come out of nowhere #omg #yr s3 #yr s3 spoilers #how can you have watched 2 season of this show and not understand how impulsive Wille is #yr s3 reaction

[ibarkatpeoplewoofwoofbitch]

Rating hazbin ships, but im not gonna be on rating my favorite ships higher. Im gonna be brutally honest:

Vaggie/charlie: I love it so much its so sweet, and they did have a rough patch a bit, but they communicated, and communication matters so much. 10/10

Angel/husk: I love how it shows husk waits on angel for consent to touch him. And I like how husk is honest and tells Angel really no one cares if he's famous or not he's a human, and he doesn't need to be perfect. This ship isn't bad. I just wanna see Husk have a mental breakdown like an angel and talk about his contract with alastor. 8/10

Lucifer/lilith: honestly? I really want them to have a happy relationship. But if she's just like adam cause their equals and she got rid of charlie and lucifer having a relationship by some weird evil idea? I can't stand that. So 5.5/10

Sir pentious/cherri bomb: I don't know I mean cherri had no damn care about sir pentious until she found out he had two dicks. Idk 7/10

Lucifer/alastor:alastor kinda a dick and lucifer kind hates him. And they both the type to accidently lock their kids In their cars. But lucifer would break the car door to get his kid, and the alastor would look the other way, but it's a good crackship. 6.9/10

Adam/lucifer: realistically? Lucifer would beat adam for touching his daughter if he could again. 5.6/10

Valentino/angel:...-10000000000000000/10 I hate it so much.

#angel dust x husk #husker hazbin hotel #huskerdust #vaggie #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #charlie/vaggie #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer x alastor #hazbin angel dust #valentino x vox #vox x valentino #hazbin valentino #val hazbin hotel #valentino #radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #angel dust #angel #valentino x angel dust #alastor the radio demon #alastor fanart #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer

[miaclemeverett]

amazon standing lamp - using drugs and sex and other unhealthy distractions and coping mechanisms to deal with losing people you love out of your own fault. the top-heavy amazon standing lamp part is a really old wilbur joke (back in 2020 he joked about naming a song this) and it also reminds me of how (i think it was him?) he once said that he moves house so often that he loses so many belongings and only has a few things left that he cares about, i think this pairs really well in the song how the artificial meaningless things are all that remain

mine / yours - the breakdown of a relationship, seeing the warning signs and the things you take for granted assuming a person will stay with you forever despite it all

around the pomegranate - this song reminds me a lot of "since i saw vienna", when a place (california in this song) becomes so married to a person that it serves as a source of comfort and nostalgia for when things were simple and happier. being on the road you can never set down roots and people come and go from your life

i don't think it will ever end - he lives life in front of millions of people (chat in this song) watching his every move, like an actor he either has to play the part he's made for himself or isolate himself from this audience, it's a repetitive cycle that sends him downhill

glass chalet - back in the dark days of 2021 i remember wilbur would always joke (SLASH SERIOUS) about quitting streaming and disappearing off the face of the planet for years without a single word. VERY HEALTHY MINDSET exhibited right here in this song

melatonin 130 - I LOVE 100 GECS!! but in all seriousness the constant reminder that you have mental illness/anxiety your entire life and you can only cope with it, that it impairs you even when you should be happy cus obviously you're living out what you thought was your dream and everyone else thinks you should be on top of the world duh!

oh distant you - JUST KILL ME. your sister was right but WORSE!!!!!!!! again you take for granted that someone will stick with you forever and only after it's over realizing that you can't fill the hole where they were. and again we're back on fixating on who is the villain in this narrative

eulogy - your sister was right but worse 2, this song focuses on the whispers (good and bad) leftover from a relationship. harkening back to screensaver where he says that the subject in talking about their relationship basically makes him sound like hitler, and your sister was right where he talks about the warning signs the subject should have seen, this squarely places the blame on him

dropshipped cat shirt - I LOVE 100 GECS!!! but anyway the grueling day-to-day of being on the move, singing to people who adore you and make up a version of you in their head, latching onto unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep going, you have everything you ever needed and wanted but you're bored out of your mind

the median - short but sweet! as i said earlier, wilbur always has to play a part, and this audience projects their version of himself as the truth

trying not to think about it - I KNOW I PUT DAMN NEAR THE WHOLE SONG DOWN HERE BUT LISTEN. again realizing how much you take for granted the assumption that someone will stick with you forever. wilbur has mentioned before how as a hypochondriac, he's never taken seriously by doctors whenever he doesn't feel well. also this idea of romance and love as something just for the aesthetic, not as something that gives you stability and meaning but realizing that it can be that for you until its too late.

10 week rule - who got him pregnant?? but in all seriousness i think this can be read as a way of turning a new page, but obviously its not as simple as just getting rid of something unwanted

[beomboomboom]

Always by your side

genre: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship

pairing: Jeonghan x reader

summary: Jeonghan wants you to know that no matter how you feel, he'll always be by your side. When you're happy, he's happy. When you're nervous, he's nervous. And when you're sad, he's always going to be right next to you, comforting you.

warnings: mentions of depression and mental breakdowns

note: everyone needs a jeonghan in their lives 😭. Enjoy the fic <33

Jeonghan considers himself to be a very perceptive person.

He knows how you're feeling just by glancing into your eyes. When your eyes crinkle in the corners, Jeonghan knows you're happy, easily making him happy as well. When your eyes start to dart back and forth shakily, Jeonghan knows you're scared and always makes sure to place a comforting hand on your back.

However, today was the first time where he couldn't tell what exactly you were feeling when he looked in your eyes.

Jeonghan was just going to your house to bring you some food and check up on you. You hadn't been responding to his texts lately, so he couldn't help but feel worried.

But nothing could have prepared him for the sight he saw when you opened your front door.

There you stood weakly at your doorstep, your hair a mess, and your face looking like you had gotten zero hours of sleep. But what Jeonghan noticed most was the look in your eyes.

Your eyes looked so...dead.

"Hey, Darling! Missed you so much," Jeonghan says once he catches sight of your figure. Giving you a small smile, he quickly cups your face in his hands while placing tiny pecks all over your face, smiling softly at your little giggle that you let out in response. He then pauses his kisses and simply holds your face carefully while paying close attention to your facial expressions. "Are you feeling okay? You can be honest with me."

Your eyes widen in surprise at the abrupt question, but you quickly cover it up. "I'm fine," you say while making the biggest smile you can muster, hoping desperately that Jeonghan will just leave you alone so you can continue your mental breakdown in peace.

But Jeonghan notices.

He notices that your smile is definitely not a real smile. Your eyes aren't crinkling in the corners like they normally do. Instead, your eyes stay the same shape, only your mouth moving to form a smile.

He doesn't know exactly what you're feeling, but he knows you're definitely not feeling just "fine".

"Let's go inside hm?" Jeonghan suggests warmly while leading you back in your house with his hand on your back.

Once inside your house, you quickly shut the door and go to the kitchen to prepare Jeonghan a cup of water.

"Oh, I'll just put the food on the kitchen table," Jeonghan says once he catches sight of your figure getting out a jar of water from the fridge. But right as Jeonghan places the bag of food on the table and is about to take a seat at the table, he hears a loud crash from the kitchen.

"Oh no! Is everything okay? Are you hurt?!"Jeonghan questions worriedly as he runs to the kitchen, his face faltering when he sees the situation. All around you is broken glass and water, remnants of the jar of water you were holding just a few seconds before.

"O-o-oh, I'm so sorry," you say, your voice shaking, as tears begin to well up in your eyes.

The second Jeonghan sees your tears, he quickly goes to your side and gives you a reassuring hug, letting your tears soak into his t-shirt. "It's okay. Accidents happen."

"I-I'm really sorry. Here let me clean this mess up." you say hurriedly as you crouch down and reach for the piece of glass closest to you.

"Ouch-"

You drop the piece of glass the second you see a big splotch of dark red appear on your hand. "Oh my gosh, I can't do anything right today. I'm sorry. I'm really so sorry," you mutter, distraught, with even more tears welling up in your eyes.

"Hey, hey. It's okay." Jeonghan says gently. "How about we clean up your cut, I don't want it to get infected. And don't worry about the kitchen, i'll clean it up later. Okay?" Jeonghan then places his hands on your cheeks and tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ears. "It's going to be okay," he states with a gentle smile as he uses his thumb to wipe your tears away and caress your cheek.

He then wraps your arm around his shoulders and slowly stands up to help you walk you over to the living room where he gets out the box of bandages.

As you're sitting on the couch, you silently watch Jeonghan wrap up your finger. His gentle fingers wiping the alcohol wipe on your cut, trying to make you feel the least amount of pain as possible. His tounge poking out of his lips, trying to make sure your bandage covers your entire wound. His worried but loving eyes looking you in the eyes when he's done.

Tears begin well up in your eyes at the thought of the amount of love and care Jeonghan gives you in something as small as helping bandage your cuts. "Thank you so much."

Jeonghan simply smiles in response and then rubs your knee soothingly. "of course. I'm always here for you, okay?"

Jeonghan's words seem to move something within you and suddenly the tears that you have been trying to hold back this entire time, finally escape.

"I'm so sorry. I-" you start to say once your tears start to stream down your face. You try to hurriedly rub your tears away, but they just keep on falling.

"Hey, what's wrong? If you don't want to tell me right now, you don't need to. But if you do tell me, i'll listen," Jeonghan says gently as he looks you in your eyes and uses his fingers to brush away some of your tears.

"I've just been-" you begin, then take a small shaky breathe before continuing, "I've just been feeling kind of empty lately. It feels like I'm wearing a mask, where on the outside I pretend to be all happy. But on the inside, I just feel like I'm in a big empty dark place all by myself. And no matter how loud I yell or how hard I try to make noise, no one can hear me. I don't want to keep on living like this. It's so hard....I just want to be happy."

After you're done sharing, you nervously lock eyes with Jeonghan.

To be honest, you're scared about how Jeonghan will react after you shared how you've been feeling. Will he brush all your feelings off? Will he leave you after he realizes all the things that are wrong with you?

But to your surprise, Jeonghan simply looks at you with a fond smile. "Thanks for having the courage to share with me. We'll get through what you're struggling through one step at a time, together." He says while interlacing his fingers with yours and giving you a reassuring smile, before continuing on saying, "Whenever you're struggling, I'll always make sure to be by your side. You don't have to suffer alone, I'm here too. I'll always be willing to listen to you, okay?" Jeonghan says while swooping you up in a tight hug.

"How did i get so lucky to have you in my life?" you whisper with a faint smile in Jeonghan's ear as your arms tightly wrap around him.

Jeonghan simply lets a small giggle in response before smiling in contentment at the fact that you're in his arms. "No, I'm the lucky one."

#seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan scenarios

[wannaeatramyeon]

Could you do relationship headcanons for our big deal boys Jerry and Brad (and Jason and Lineman too if you want) 👉👈 Or maybe them eating dinner with reader for the first time in a while and realizing how much they miss reader?

Hi Anon! Thanks for requesting :) I can't believe I haven't done more boyfriend/relationship hc?! This has been sitting in my drafts forever and soooorta is what you asked for.

Lookism guys as YOUR boyfriend hc

Uhhh almost everyone here (Brad, Jason, Lineman, Jerry, Jake, Sinu, Daniel, Jay, Vasco, Jace, Zack, Vin, Goo, Johan, Eli, Warren, DG, Samuel, Xiaolong, Ryuhei, Eugene, Jihan, Jibeom, Hudson + crumb for Hangyul, Taejin)

Brad Lee

Happy go lucky most of the time. Brad will make you smile and laugh, your best friend as well as your boyfriend. Don't be fooled, just because he can be silly doesn't mean he doesn't take this relationship seriously. Sincere and committed, will do what he needs to make you and him work. A girlfriend privilege, or chore if you're being honest, is constantly shaving his head. If he pisses you off? Shave a stripe down the middle and hide the razor.

Jason Yoon

Self professed as not that great with words, and can be a little standoffish but worships the ground you walk on. Loyal to a fault, and waits on you hand and foot. He's not the most physically affectionate but anticipates your every need, doing things for you before you even realise you wanted them. Self-sacrificing with Big Deal and as your boyfriend. Make sure his needs are taken care of, he deserves it!

Lineman

Listen, this guy bullshits a lot. He's full of bravado and confidence but he is surprisingly earnest when it comes to you. Everything may be exaggerated and said flippantly, but Lineman does think you're the most beautiful, the smartest, the absolute best. No competition. Completely fearless with anything you throw at him. Whether that's something adventurous in the bedroom or a life plan 10 years in the future.

Jerry Kwon

If he is Jake's sword, then he is your shield. Most of the time he barely needs to do anything, just being with him makes sure thugs and troublemakers will stay away. Nevertheless, protects you from danger and cuddling with Jerry will melt all your stress away. Loves you as much as he respects Jake. Which is a whole frickin' lot. Probably more than you would ever know. A big teddy bear, and can be shy - needing you to make the first moves or read his moods.

Jake Kim

You've done it. You've reached the peak. Maximum good times, minimum mental breakdowns. He is stable, a great caregiver and maybe the funniest person you will ever meet, or at least he likes to think so. Does tend to prioritise Big Deal over your relationship and being his girlfriend. You need to be very understanding. Shame he spends a lot of time away from you dealing with the crew but he more than makes up for it with kisses and cuddles and attention (where he can spare it).

Sinu Han

Who do you think taught Jake how to respect women? Gapryong? Nah. It's this girlboss. Didn't used to have much time nor money as Big Deal boss. Now at least he has lots of time and will make sure you are top prority. Literally got yourself a whole househusband. He has nothing better to do than look after you. When you're apart, loves making and sending little videos of himself to you to cheer you up. And it's not hard once you see his beaming bright smile.

Daniel Park

Very sweet, Zack might have stole his first kiss but he wants you to be the first for everything else! His obliviousness to all the girls hitting on him would piss you off though. Once you've spoken to him and he realises, he'll apologise profusely and makes sure it's very clear that he's taken. "Yes, I've got a girlfriend. Yes, I'm very happy. Please I'm not interested!" Very easy for you to make him blush. He might have heard a lot of flattery, but just tell him how cute he looks today and he will flush bright red.

Jay Hong

Are you ready to be spoiled? Have all your whims fulfilled? This man will literally go to the moon and back for you, and he could pay for it to. Loves spoiling you, shopping with you is one of his favourite pastimes but enjoys spending time with you even if it's chilling with the pups. Writes you little messages and notes for you to find throughout the day. Very sentimental and keeps a memento of pretty much everything. Apart from having cash for days, other major girlfriend privileges include seeing his eyes and riding around on his motorbike. Which is pretty sexy, not gonna lie.

Vasco Tabasco

This cinnamon roll!! What else is there to say about him! He's innocent and naive and doesn't really know how to be the best boyfriend but he's so eager to learn and to make you happy. Make a big deal out of every milestone and anniversary. Looks forward to big occasions like meeting the parents until the actual day comes and he almost passes out from nervousness. Being with the head of Burn Knuckles means you've automatically adopted the rest of the gang too. Watch out for your sanity.

Jace Park

Goes a bit too hard on the romance front, but unfortunately picked most of it up from kdrama or romance novels. Imagine his surprise when after your first fight you actually did want space and wasn't pleased when he turned up on your doorstep. Kind hearted and good intentioned. He's dotes on you and a great listener. Insufferable to the rest of Burn Knuckles as he won't shut up about you. Once he's with you, he is WITH you. He may be 'married to Burn Knuckles', but in a relationship, you two are as good as married. And yes, he is the best househusband. Obviously.

Zack Lee

BIG softie. Clingy, a little obsessive but He. Loves. You. We've seen how he is with Mira. Being in a reciprocal relationship with someone would turn that up to ELEVEN. He will always always try his best, and gets a little insecure and sad if he lets you down but to you it doesn't matter. Seeing his effort is enough and you make sure to let him know. Will walk to the ends of the earth for you, you barely even have to ask. Also will deny he's a simp to everyone as they look on at him incredulously. Seriously? It's the most obvious frigging thing!

Vin Jin

Oh my god this guy. He will play his music for you at ANY opportunity. It's a good job you love him, otherwise you would need to jam some chopsticks in your ears. You can't help but be charmed though seeing him doing what he loves, so you take up the role as his number 1 fan. Plays it cool but he is very clingy. Probably text you with 'wyd' and if you don't respond in the next 10 mins, expect a barrage of messages. And if you're busy and haven't seen him for a day or 2? He's on your doorstep: "Here I got you a gift. Me."

Gun Park

He's a surprisingly good partner. He doesn't like wasting time and least of all his own so he knows already you're a good fit with him. The fact that he agreed to be your partner means that he already holds you in exceptionally high regard and cares about you a great deal. Still a walking red flag though. Especially cold and callous when he's had a bad day or you ask him about something he doesn't want to answer. You can go hours or even days not talking after your fights until he finally asks if you can hear him out. He's not stupid. He knows the way he reacts isn't how you should treat a partner and promises to keep working on it

Goo Kim

A rollercoaster ride of a boyfriend. In an established relationship, he can be exceptionally clingy. You better be patient and on the same wavelength as him or you're going to have a bad time. Your nights together can flit from watching anime to light arson in the blink of an eye. At least you can't say he's boring. Soft in his own way for you, and spoils you with your demands and requests, and his money! Really does let you get away with a little too much.

Johan Seong

He was shocked when he realised he cared more about you than Eden and Miro. You were too, you know what they mean to him... And now what you mean to him too. A little feral and not the best at expressing himself but if you have the patience to support him then he'll have the patience to try. Do not offer to share food with this man. Not a bite, no snacks, nothing. He would take advantage. The definition of give him an inch and he'll take a mile. Leave your plate unattended, and the food will be gone the moment you're back. Eden and Miro will get the blame.

Eli Jang

Hope you're ready for 2 cuties in your life because Eli and Yenna are a package deal. Eli never thought he would get the fairytale happy family but with you it's actually happening. He loves planning family dates and seeing you and Yenna together. He's already carved out a future for you and him otherwise he wouldn't encourage you and Yenna to bond.

Warren Chae

Absolutely adores telling you he loves you. With you the words flow, and so do the compliments. In his quieter moments, you catch him staring at you a lot until hegrabs your hand and gives you three squeezes instead. I. Love. You. Privately, renames himself from 'Gangdong's Mighty Warren Chae' to 'Y/N's Mighty Warren Chae'. Super silly, but it makes you giggle everytime. He means it though. Will look after you any way he can.

DG

Keeps you out of the spotlight. Please don't be insecure, it's not that he doesn't want to be seen with you - he's just protecting you from public scrutiny and his horde of fans. Generally cool and aloof but with you he can be surprisingly soft and romantic. Truly a k-pop idol capturing the heart of millions. You will become his biggest stan, and he would find that equal parts amusing and endearing. As long you are kept a secret, he will tell the media he has a special someone, someone that really knows him. Makes you and the general public melt everytime he is heard talking about you.

Samuel Seo

Aw Sammy. He just wants some praise and love and you readily offer it to him. Puts up a lot of walls at first before seeing that you don't care who he is or where he's from and love him for him. Definitely one to wait for you to say I love you and fall first before he could reciprocate. He needs to make sure this is real and you are real. Sometimes though, the moment just feels too right for him to keep his feelings to himself... Spends obscene amounts on you to try and impress you. It doesn't. Not really. Ok maybe a little bit.

Xiaolong

One to go to extremes to please the one he loves. Old example: Vivi. Please see updated example: You. There is nothing he will not do for you. To the point that it terrifies you a bit and you need to calm him down. "No, if you don't actually want to go on an ice cream run at 3am that's completely fine! I was only joking about punching my boss, please don't do it!!" Hope you're ready for an unconventional sex life because this man will do what he can to satisfy you, penislessly

Ryuhei Kuroda

Theres a long list of simps in Lookism and he's close to the top of the list. Hes an avid texter but since he likes to follow you everywhere, you wouldn't know. Despite how much of a shit he can be, genuinely respects you and thinks the world of you. Will happily and without hesitation sock anyone that says a bad word about you. Unlike Xiaolong, all in working order downstairs since you met. You have no issues getting him to stand to attention. Have fun!

Eugene

A bit of an absentee boyfriend. He has a lot on his plate. He never regret his position or what he's achieved until you started dating, and now he wishes you could spend more time together. When he's with you though, he's WITH you. You have his full attention. He even turns his phone off. His assistants know that they can't reach him when he's with you. Building burning down? Nope. Don't care.

Jihan Kwak

You thought he was a troublemaker at first. And you would be right. He can run rings around you, teasing and a little mean, the cause of many headaches. All the words are meant with love though. Just look at the way he looks at you as he calls you an idiot. This guy is impossibly soft for you. Make sure you don't let him get away with too much though. As the youngest and spoilt, he can be bratty and a little inconsiderate. He's no fool. Tell him and he will adjust his behaviour.

Jibeom Kwak

There's something so fun about stealing the clothes from your teddy-bear boyfriend. So what if his taste is terrible and ugly as hell. Seeing you in his t-shirt or shorts or even boxers will absolutely break his brain. A little dense, but very trusting - bit like our other cinnamonroll, Vasco. Always well-intentioned, but you may need to be explicit with him. Don't worry, he's a quick learner. Loves you an awful lot and has no problem telling the whole world, even if that means teasing from his brothers.

Hudson Ahn

There's two very people that are at the tippity top of Hudson's list. Taesoo, and you. Your boyfriend is your sun. Quiet and a little stoic, watching you with an intensity and a little smile on his face that takes your breath away. Especially when he's usually cold and reserved with most people, the fact that you can make him look like that just being in your presence? The BEST. Blessed with one of the better asses in Lookism that even Heat Daniel couldn't resist. Always rolls his eyes whenever you grope him, you not being able to resist a quick squeeze even as you walk by, but he could never tell you no.

Hangyul Baek (here's a crumb)

Looks at you a lot with a smile on his face. Which is sweet you suppose, if he wasn't a plastic surgeon and scrutinishing faces and bodies all day. And then he calls you beautiful. A true beauty. And you preen, happy with the compliment.. until. Hold on. What exactly does he mean?!

Taejin Cheon (here's a crumb)

Wew, this guy is flashy. Which is great if that's your thing. Will likely get you kitted out in all sorts of designer brands, even more so than Samuel Seo. Despite not shown as having any tattoos, has the vibe that he would get your name tattooed on his neck. If you break up? Will just get a line put through it lol.

#these tags are insane im sorry #lookism #lookism x reader #brad lee x reader #jason yoon x reader #lineman x reader #jerry kwon x reader #jake kim x reader #sinu han x reader #daniel park x reader #jay hong x reader #vasco x reader #jace park x reader #zack lee x reader #vin park x reader #gun park x reader #goo kim x reader #johan seong x reader #eli jang x reader #warren chae x reader #dg x reader #samuel seo x reader #xiaolong x reader #ryuhei x reader #eugene x reader #jihan x reader #jibeom x reader #hudson ahn x reader #lookism webtoon #lookism hc

[girls-alias]

Mental - Dean Winchester

Title: Mental - Dean Winchester

Words: 1,169

Relations: Dean Winchester X Reader

TW: Mental health, mental breakdown, SH.

Prompt:

Saw a TikTok edit of Dean and it inspired me.

I excused myself from the table as I hurried to stand. I didn't look at Sam and Dean before I left the room. I was slightly hyperventilating but once I rushed to my room I couldn't breathe. I practically threw myself into the back of the door. Needing it closed and need privacy. I slid down the door trying to control my breathing, to bring air into my lungs but the panic attack didn't end.

How could Dean like me? I'm a mess, I'm crazy.

Nothing has even gone wrong and I'm still miserable. I should be happy, it's a day off, and I should be enjoying quiet time with Sam and Dean.

Dean doesn't like me. He just confessed it to find a way to let me down slowly.

I shouldn't have told him about my crush, I should have just hidden it like I have done all year.

He is so out of your league. He'd never like you. Remember when he would check out other girls, he doesn't like you,

Oh, my God. I'm an idiot.

My mouth was dry from breathing so heavily, I wanted to gulp to try and gain some control over my own body but it wasn't working. My vision seemed to be clouded by dark spots. I knew there was only one way to gain some control but I cried as I thought about it.

I feel like my only solution right now is to self-harm, I need to get control of myself. I'm acting manic. I have been clean for 78 days. I'm doing so well. I can't break that now. It took me years to get that far.

I cried as I crawled to my display knife that sat on my desk. It was a real knife, sharp enough to cut paper easily but it was only ever decorative. I pulled it from the stand. Resting my back against the drawers I brought my knees up close to my chest. I put my arm facing me in the divet between my legs. The tears evacuated my eyes as if an alarm was ringing.

"Y/N," Dean's voice called through the shut door, worry lacing his tone. "Are you okay?" He asked, worry more evident. I slowly put the knife down not wanting him to hear it. I cleared my throat softly.

"Yeah, why?" I asked but instantly winced as I knew I would never normally say that and Dean might recognise that.

"You just ran off," He explained not seeming to hear my error.

"Yeah, I just needed the bathroom," I lied. I waited anxiously in those few seconds it took Dean to reply. The door isn't locked, I hadn't thought of that. I gulped watching the handle afraid in case he came in and saw me. I don't want to think of how upset Dean might be.

"Oh, are you sure you're okay? You sound a little weird," He explained, his voice a little cheerier but suspicious.

"Gee, thanks Dean," I played it off. Smiling as Dean chuckled seemingly happy with my response.

"Okay, well come back when you're done," Dean explained, I listened to his steps as he walked away. I sighed with relief and sorrow. My tears quickly resuming. A part of me wanted him to come in, to save me but I was too scared to say anything.

I buried my hand into my sleeve, bringing it to my mouth to quietly sob into it. I screamed as the door swung open forcefully. I looked up to see Dean had burst into my door, eyes on me instantly. He looked completely startled, maybe even scared. I didn't have time to compose myself before Dean was crouching beside me. He held my hand, sneaking a glance at my wrist before his eyes dived deep into mine.

"What's going on?" He asked softly. I sighed, not caring to try and compose myself. I look like a mess anyway.

"You shouldn't have lied to me. You should have just turned me down," I sobbed as he moved closer, His hand on the back of my head bringing me closer to him so I could cry onto his chest, comforting me as he stroked my hair.

"I didn't lie to you, baby," He's never used a pet name for me before. He's just feeling sorry for me. "I do like you, I've always liked you. From the second you walked out the room when we first met I told Sam, I wanted you," He explained but I shook my head as I sobbed.

"You're just saying that because I did this," I stated as I lifted my arm.

"No, baby. No, I've liked you from the second I met you. I was too scared to say anything because I didn't think you'd like me," He explained as he hugged me a little tighter. "I want to be yours," He added. I sobbed, sitting up as I shook my head to look at him.

"You're too hot for me," I exclaimed but Dean shook his head. I could almost see hearts in his eyes as he looked at me.

"I want to be yours," He repeated. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him.

"I'm emotionally unstable," I argued but he smiled softly.

"I want to be yours," He repeated once again. I shook my head.

"Dean, -"

"I want to be yours," He interrupted. He placed his hand on my cheek, his eyes peering into my soul. Like earlier, all the air seemed to leave my lungs but this time I knew it was coming back. "I want to be yours," Dean commented before leaning in to connect our lips. My brain frazzled as I realised Dean was kissing me, we'd never kissed before. This is a bit far if he was lying. He has to be telling the truth. I should believe him.

I kissed him back, my hand coming up to the back of his neck as our lips moved in sync. His tongue graced my bottom lip. I allowed his access as our tongues met in the middle, dancing around each other. I could taste his morning coffee. He smiled against my lips as he continued to kiss me. I melted into his arms.

He slowly pulled away. I couldn't stop the smile on my face from spreading as I saw the joy on his face.

"Come on, we'll get you cleaned up and I'll take you on the date I've been planning all day," He explained cheerfully. I chuckled softly as he stood up. I tried my tears, looking up to see Dean offering to help me up. I smiled as I accepted his hand, and he pulled me to my feet. He took the opportunity to kiss me again. A shorter but passionate kiss. "I want you to wear something cute," He explained playfully as he led me to the bathroom. I smiled knowing now that Dean likes me and I am enough for him.

Masterlist

Working On

#fanfiction #fanfic #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #dean #dean winchester fic #spn fanfic #spn #mental health #self h@rm

[sunflowergraves]

Look, I don't care if you dislike Will Solace. There are plenty of fan favorite characters in PJO that I can't stand. But I'm tired of people mis-characterizing him and using it as a base in their argument to hate him.

If you think a character who has been through untold horrors and severe mental trauma is awful because he breaks down and snaps at people when he is triggered, I have no words for you. I don't know what books you've been reading, but Will has been through two wars, witnessed horrific deaths, and was forced into a leadership role at the ripe age of 13 because his older siblings were murdered in front of his eyes. What angers me more is that the reason everyone is so upset by his anxious and abrasive attitude is that they expected him to remain kind and compassionate and happy no matter what he is experiencing.

Having a character who is defined by kindness and compassion crack under the pressure of being there for everyone is amazing representation to have in a popular series and yet people are angry. Sorry that Will isn't Mr. Sunshine. Sorry that he isn't acting like the sad wet puppy people wrote him out to be.

It's even stated in TOA that his entire calm personality is a façade:

"Will laughed under his breath. 'I'm terrified. But one thing you learn as head counselor: you have to keep it together for everyone else.' "

Will's character was never the "super chill under pressure bi" stereotype that people assumed. He represents the people who hide their emotional needs for the sake of others. The people who had no choice but to be the leader. The people who are shoved into the "happy, down-to-earth" box because that's what others need them to be.

He was never mischaracterized, he was recontextualized. Why is every other PJO character allowed to have their breakdowns and trauma, but the second Will does, it becomes a problem? The reality is that a person can change dramatically because of trauma and pressure. People don't just act sad and depressed, they become angry and abrasive.

Have you never been 15 and angry before? Has your past trauma never affected you so violently? Has the pressure never gotten to you, have you always maintained your cool?

I'm not asking anyone to love Will Solace. I'm not trying to change your mind. But I do want you to understand that there are so many people like this in the world and it's tiring to see people not understand that. Continue hating him or whatever, but at least do it with this in mind.

#Will Solace #tsats #riordanverse #pjo hoo toa

[nyashykyunnie]

Oki so I saw tjat you were open to brajnrots so I hope you enjoy them urbjdbfk sorry if it's long but I need to get these out before I go insane sibddnjdjdb 😅😅

I kinda think that Jinwoo would tease the hell out of their partner if they start getting super flustered after their second awakening, ESPECIALLY if reader was with them pre-awakening and was kinda shy woth affection before too (shout out to my shy peeps akbdjbd) ofc he's respectful about boundaries but it doesn't mean he enjoys how cuter his s/o has become wjbdjdnd Not only that, I think Jinwoo would definately use their new height and stregnth to his advantage too! Like if his s/o was taller and could lift him before when hugging, what stopping him from picking up his s/o to cuddle now?? Mf has the audacity to be smug to 🙄🙄

I think he even finds his s/o' weight on him incredibly comforting, especially with the fact that his s/o trusts him completely no matter how he's changed. This is especially so if his s/o knows how terrifying he is as a hunter, and is not phased in the slightest

(Jinwoo has jumped from E to S-rank. Having to fight his way up tooth and claw, doing whatever he has to survive. A man that even monsters fear. Here? He's just Jinwoo. nothing more nothing less. Safe and content with s/o acting as his guiding light during his darkest of hours. Before, he was worried how he couldnt protect his s/o's happiness when he was an E-rank. Now? He finally has the stregnth to protect them and his family, and will do so with everything he has)

Acheivement unlocked: Jinwoo's s/o has now become his weighted blanket sjdbudnd

Jinwoo pissed after a raid, eyes glowing purple, emitting an aura that even scares his shadows: The world is harsh and cruel.... Jinwoo 10 min later, eyes normal, deadly aura gone, cuddling s/o with his head nestled into s/o's shoulder: s/o soft and gentle.

Wdym he can't have his lovely s/o on his lap while he's on his rare breaks in the privacy of his own office??? Unless there is a s-rank dungeon suddenly appearing or an emergency, this man will be enjoying his BREAK.

Don't get me started on his shadows too sksbudbj. I think it be funny if his shadows also start acting like puppies for s/os affection too. Yeah sure they can absolutely decimate enemies but to their Monarchs beloved, theyre lovable guard dogs. (I think that they would be even more charmed If s/o is actually aware how dangerous they can be but still treats them so kindly)

Jinwoo would also get secretly jealous if his shadows gets the privilege of using his shy! s/o's lap as a pillow too (kinda like how a small pet sits on their owners lap or large dogs put their heads on their owners lap for pets too). Especially if its BEFORE he gets the privilege to abdjdbdnkd

I bet once this man gets a taste of using s/os thighs a pillow , he is a changed man. Brain alterd. dbjdbd

The man's personal heaven? His head nestled into s/o's lap with their fingers running though his hair. If his s/o stars humming? Man's purring in content.

(Anyways, if you read it, thanks! I hope it makes you feel a fraction of how happy I feel when I read your works ajbdjdb)

Cheer,

//Warning: kyunnie having a mental breakdown over Jinwoo NO BECAUSE I GENUINELY THINK JINWOO'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS BEING A TEASE!!! HE'S A BIG OL GRUMP AND AWKWARD BUT I GEN THINK HE LIKES TEASING BY TOUCH!! YOU CAN TELL WITH THE WAY HE INTERACTS WITH JIN-AH LIKE SQUEEZING HER FACE OR PINCHING HER CHEEKS IT TELLS A LOT!!!! I GOT THE IDEA OF A TOUCHY JINWOO JUST BY SEEING HOW HE ACTS AROUND JIN-AH AND KYYAAAAA PRE-AWAKENING RELATIONSHOIP EBHJGRWFE!!!!! I LOVE THAT IDEA SM BECAUSE THERE'S A CERTAIN POETIC ROMANCE TO IT WHEN YOU'VE SEEN YOUR BELOVED AT THEIR LOWEST POINTS AND LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY REGARDLESS!! My fave novel of all time is tgcf and there's a whole interactions between the main cp like this!! “That person saw me at my worst", Hua Cheng said. "Then I'm very envious of that", Xie Lian replied.” IF IT'S A SITUATION LIKE THAT IK JINWOO'S ATTACHMENT WOULD GO BEYOND THE ROOFS AND HEAVENS!!!! Jinwoo would first be oblivious to his sunshine's(reader is giving me sunshine vibes, and I love sunshines sm) at first but he slowly started noticing from the jumpy reactions and the shy expression!! He'd test out the waters by his body language likelike purposely moving closer to reader unexpectedly, grasping hands, lightly brushing a finger on their ear— And when he confirmed his suspicions he went "Oh?" like lIKE HOLLYY SIJJDBE WN CFEAAAAA KGGRAAAAA!!! HE'D BULLY THEM A LOT AND CHUCKLE EVERYTIME HE CATCHES SUNSHINE READER GO BBRRRR BRAIN LAG WHHEEEE PRINCESS CARRIES USED TO BE A DISTANT DREAM NOW JINWOO CAN DO IT ANYTIME HE WANTS!! HE EVEN LETS THEM SIT ON HIS ARM PERCHED SO CUTELY LIKE THIS!!! IT GETS READER SO FLUSTERED THEY HIDE THEIR FACE ON HIS NECK AND HE'S LIVING FOR ITT!!!!

(Source: How to win my husband over) BUT WE CANT FORGET THE JINWOO THAT GETS TIRED AND ALL PISSY AFTER DEALING ITH GATES!! Ik our boi gets annoyed over some sht but he doesn't voice them out most of the time!!! His best therapy is when he has reader cuddled up on his lap or him laying his head on their while they tousle their hair around. I Genuinely think Jinwoo's soft/sensitive spots are on his head!!! Fingertips brushing across his scalp tickles him in a pleasant way that he just goes Zzzzzz..... Jinwoo is the type of boyfriend that looks so expressionless and stiff but put his lover and his eyes immediately turn into the most gentle lovestrucken-fool look in an instant that whoever witnesses it thinks their lives just flashed before their eyes because wth the hunter coULD DO THAT KIND OF FACE??????? HELLLOOO!!!! I am an intj simp and coincidentally I have so many intj husbands that I did not ask for but goddamn the consistency. The patten I see with INTJ's ik is that they love acts of service!!! From brushing your hair away from your face, holding their hand out to you so you wont get lost, instinctively doing something to help you WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING. And my god, they have the most MOST INTENSE EYE CONTACT EVER!!!! Jinwoo has proven that side in the manhwa I do not need to pull up panels for this surely YA'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN PEOPLE. If Jinwoo is whipped, HE IS WHIPPED!!! He mostly keeps a straight face BUT CANNOT CONTROL HIMSELF FOR HIS BELOVED( lets be fr he doesn't intend to in the first place he's that downbad and I love it mWAH) Cuddle session breaks with sunshine reader is a must if not he will wreak havoc in the office or the gates or something WHEEZE OMG THE SHADOWS WHAKJSDEQBKWEF, HE'S A PETTY BASTARD I TELL YOU!! HE'S CHAOTIC AS HELL!!!!! HE DEF THROWS BERU AN EYE-ROLL WHEN HE GETS PATPATS FROM SUNSHINE READER AND IT ENDS UP WITH BERU HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN ITS SO SILLY JWHNFWEPIOEJFND, HE MAKES HIM DO FOREHEAD ON THE FLOOR PUNISHMENT 2 DHWEJAFKE HE'S A PETTY BASTARDDD!!!!! HIS BIGGEST RIVAL IS TANK BECAUSE HE IS THE FLOOFIEST BOI IN THE SHADOWS AND IT JUST MAKES JINWOO GO INTO A TANTHRUM ITS SO SILLYYY!!!! AFTER THE WHOLE SULKING WO GOES TO SUNSHINE READER'S LAP AND GRUMBLES LIKE A TODDLER!!!! Also the thighs man, he had done it once in E-rank days nEVER MOVED ON I TELL YOU, THAT'S WHY I KEEP SAYING LAP SINCE EARLIER WHAHDHWGR. The first time he did it he felt like he was thrown into heaven literally and figuratively he's such a silly simp AGAIN YES, JINWOO'S MOST SENSITIVE SOFT SPOT IS HIS HEAD!!!!!! OUR SILLY LITTLE FLOOFY BASTARDD!!! He purposely messes his hair up so sunshine reader would be forced to fix his hair, and when they look away he begins ruffling his hair up again for more attention— ALSO EARLIER U APOLOGIZED FOR MAKING SOMETHING LONG BESTIE DON'T I MADE IT LONGER IT'S OKAY DON'T FEEL BAD DAFOHLJMWLEJDNM Also owejii uueeee, now I'm all shy and flustered aisupohdjqbl,emfdn AAAAee ee er w ddw sakjlsdlafrgshdf I'm so glad it makes u happy uueeeeeee, I honestly just write for myself but I'm glad it makes you happy too uueee<3333!!!!! Ty for activating my jinwoo braincells that should have beem stayed dormat anywei!! (They never rlly sleep anyway i just keep them in my head)

#∞ ₒ ˚ ° 📎— kyunnya speaks #sung jinwoo #solo leveling #sung jin woo #only i level up #solo leveling headcanons #sung jinwoo headcanons #ore dake level up na ken #💭₊˚ෆ— kyunnya's inbox #solo leveling x reader #sung jinwoo x reader

[that-weeb-in-ur-closet]

"Please, just... Let me. Let me love you?"

Ft: Suguru Geto.

incl: Smut, best friends, lesbian/Aromantic f!reader, public sex, plane sex, virgin!reader, a bit of blood, cherry popping, but most of it is really soft and light. ^^

wc: 4-5k? A lot I guess.

pairing: virgin!female!reader x In love!Suguru Geto.

Note from the author: Hey!! I got like a thousand votes for Geto Smut, so I hope ya'll like this. I got the idea based on myself (a narcissist, yes), but I'm a lesbian, I hate rl guys, but... Anime Boys. Enjoy!!

Geto likes you. Romantically, sexually...

And he's not afraid to admit it. He tells you it all the damn time. You're his best friend, you think he loves you as that, and he just jokes about the romantic and sexual love, but he wants to be more. You definitely don't. You don't like him or men in general.

But he just can't see why you don't want him. You told him you don't like anyone, and he believes you, but he doesn't wanna. Nevertheless, you both are still friends. Best friends.

Having a mental breakdown? Call Suguru.

Need to open a jar? Suguru gotchu.

Need advice on an outfit? - call Shoko, but, you get it.

Today, you are going to fly to America to visit your family. And you're bringing him, of course, because you absolutely need him on this 12-hour flight. And he's happy to go, why would he say no? You're his best friend.

So, that's where you both are. On the plane. You got the window seat, Suguru sitting next to you, and an older, pretty girl on the outside of the row, next to you both. Suguru is slightly happy you two got to sit by a pretty girl, but you? You couldn't care less about that. There are no babies, children, or old people, just people, you're age and adults, so about 18-30.

Suguru is pleased. He's happy as hell. He gets to be with you for 12 hours and only sees good-looking people so far. You, again, couldn't care less. You just stare out the window of the plane, quietly admiring the clouds that float around.

After a few hours, everyone settled in, no noise or talking, it's pretty calm. Suguru is pretending to read a book, just wanting to look at you without your knowledge. You are on your phone, have been for a while- when the plane starts to hit turbulence. You already have your seat belt on, so dose Suguru, so that's not what you're worried about. It's the feeling of your seat rubbing and grinding against your clit as you unwilling bounce in your seat. The feeling is pleasant, but damn, of all the times? On a plane? Next to a stranger? Oh, even worse, next to your best friend.

You try to hide your little moans and whines, but Suguru hears them when the turbulence starts to pick up. The pilot speaks on the speakers, a calm and reassuring voice that does NOTHING to help with your situation.

"Hello, passengers, it appears we've hit a bit of turbulence. Not to worry, it'll just be a moment. We would recommend you put on your seatbelt incase you fall off your seat."

The pilot then turns off the speaker as you continue to quietly moan from the sensation in your shorts. Suguru hears every single one. He's getting aroused, never before hearing those noises out of you. He's fantasized about it countless times in the past, but hearing it right now, it can't be real.

You look over to him and see his slightly widened eyes, along with his mouth being partly agape and his hand pressed against his crotch underneath his blanket.

You take biology. You're also not an idiot. You know what a boner is. And the tell-tale signs that a man has one, and the reasons they would have one. You are kicking yourself in the inside for letting this happen, but also getting slightly aroused by the few people looking at you two.

The turbulence doesn't stop. it's been going on for a minute or so, isn't slowing down, and is still making you bounce in your seat. Your panties are getting a bit more moisture in them, along with your clit being rubbed against the seat. You cover your mouth, but right as you do, Suguru takes your hand off your mouth and leans in a bit closer, which shocks you.

"Ohhh, no, no, pretty girl. I can't let you hide those... Those wonderis sounds from me. Not now."

He says with a seductive look in his eyes, whispering so nobody else can hear. He's practically violating you from how close he is, inches away, pressing himself against your side.

Nobody even looks at you both, not hearing anything, except the select few who can faintly hear your moans and whimpers. Suguru doesn't care at all, and a few seconds later, you're both in the airplane bathroom.

You don't like him. You don't like men. You don't like dick, you don't like how men smell, you don't like how they treat women, you don't like imagining sucking a man off, you don't like imagining a dick inside of you, or swallowing cum, it makes you grossed out.

Yet here you are, in a moment of weakness and arousal, with Suguru's lengthy cock inside of your virgin cunt, softly pushing in and out, making sure to hit your g-spot, hitting it in an angle to feel just how deep he is.

He always imagined this would happen. Him fucking you. Him being your first. He shaves every day, makes sure not a single hair is anywhere except his head, because he knew that would gross you out. How sweet.

You are covering your mouth as some of your blood and his pre-cum drips from your cunt, the feeling painful yet pleasurable, one that's hard to describe to a virgin. That's why you've never had sex. You don't like men, and nobody ever told you just how euphoric and perfect it feels.

He's slow and sensual, feeling every one of your muscles rub against him, feeling every squeeze, every breath, every heartbeat, every sound you make that ripples inside of him. He's thought about this. He's thought about it so many times. Fucking you from the front, you pressed against the sink inside the cramped bathroom. He looks down at you, your eyes crossing, your body moving in what feels like 80 steps for one motion, rigid and slow, back arching and head facing the other way.

"I don't like men.. I don't like men... I don't like men... I don't like men..." You repeat in your head again and again. And it's true, you don't. You like the feeling of this man inside of you. You like the feeling of his dick, not his dick. You like the feeling it gives you. You love that feeling.

He loves you. Your body. Your perky titties. Your voice. Your hair. Your eyes. Your smile. Your moans. The subtle shake of your legs. Your fucked-out face. Your personality. Your nose. Your lips. Your eyelashes. Every single thing, he adores it. And you're letting him adore even more of you.

He doesn't pick up the pace, going at a nice and slow pace, fast enough to cum, but smooth and caring, holding your waist as he tenderly slides in and out of you. It's your first time. He knows it hurts. He knows. That's why he's treating you so softly, right? Not because he actually loves you that much... Right?

That's what you think, trying to believe it. He kisses you softly, and you kiss back, enjoying the moment. You don't like him, he knows it, you know it, right? This is a one-time thing to help you, right? Just because you were struggling, right? Just because it'll feel better when you fuck yourself in the future, right?

You think again after he breaks the kiss. But this time, you don't believe it. The way he looks at you with love and affection in his half lidded eyes, so gently caressing your waist with his thumb, his flowing deep breaths. He kisses you again, so smoothly and tenderly that you forget completely about the pain of his dick inside you.

There are very few moments when his lips are fully connected to yours, lapping from one to another, licking your bottom lip to rub his against it slowly, kissing to the rhythm of his breathing, slowed and sensual. You can feel every little movement, the small smile on his lips, just enjoying everything about this. He thinks it's a dream, and prays he never wakes up.

He slows down his hips almost completely when you both cum at the same time. It's not a super big moment, as the fluids slowly drip from his cock and out of your cunt, onto the floor. It's enjoyable. It hits you both with a rush of pleasure and dopamine, but he doesn't break the kiss. He's breathing slightly heavier from the orgasm, as are you, but just in heaven at this.

It's so incredibly soft. Gentle. Sweet. Loving. Genuine. Caring. Tender. He actually loves you, as you've come to realize after this experiment.

*ahem*

Even after he finally broke the kiss, he sat you on the sink and cleaned you off. He never once broke eye contact with you when he was wiping you off, just staring at you with a small smile and loving eyes. He occasionally locks and kisses random spots of your body, admiring it.

This all still shoked you, even after everything. Once you got back to your seats, he held your hand the rest of the trip, not once letting go. He kept saying "I love you" almost every five minutes. It wasn't normal, but it wasn't that much of a weird thing for him.

He kept expecting you to say it back.

... Do you love him?

(Lemme know what to write next if you liked this. ^^)

#jjk fanfic #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #suguru geto #suguru x reader #suguru smut #suguru x you #suguru x y/n #geto #geto suguru #satoru #getou suguru #im bored #jjk geto #geto x reader #jujutsu geto #geto smut #suguru

[mazzystar24]

Don’t mind me just thinking about how for the first time buck and Eddie are both in a good place mentally at the same time which would be the perfect time to make buddie canon

Like just from the first episode and all the interviews we already can see how Eddie has healed and grown so much and is in a much better place mentally, and buck breaking up with Natalia and going after what makes him feel good and rejecting things that don’t is something so huge for him because in the past he’s always been the one clinging onto anyone who shows him the slightest bit of love or attention no matter how many issues there are (and we know that this season he deals with his traumas and stuff too)

So if they do go canon this would be perfect because they’d have done the healing and growth separately so they can be secure and stable in themselves as individuals before they come together

S2- buck had just been ghosted by Abby and Eddie had all his stuff with Shannon and moving to LA

S3- ladder truck aftermath, lawsuit, fighting, Shannon’s death aftermath, tsunami, legit take your pick this season was ROUGH for these guys

S4- buck finding about Daniel and then eddie getting shot

S5- aftermath of the shooting, Eddie’s breakdown

S6- buck not being happy or secure in himself still, year of yes,sperm donor, lightening strike and coma dream (and all the undertones of suicidal ideation that comes with that)

Also I’m not at all saying the "You can't love anyone until you love yourself" cliche because I honestly do not believe it (actually my thoughts on it are more complicated but that’s a long explanation I’ll spare you the yapping ) but I will say that individual healing is very important to a good relationship, especially in quite extreme examples like this, I do also feel the need to mention that they did in fact love eachother through these things (platonic or romantic you decide) so that quote suck ass

#my fever brain just says stuff so literally just ignore me #I don’t even know if these are actual sentences anymore #pretty sure none of that made sense #911 #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #911 fox #911onfox #911 abc #buckley diaz family #911 spoilers #oliver stark #ryan guzman

[jester089]

If it’s ok, can you indulge my love for The Amazing Digital Circus?

I was just thinking of the gang with an s/o who’s seen as the rock of the group that is always strong willed, happy go luck, helpful and supportive. But they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode where they’re crying in frustration and punching a wall to calm down before going back to pretending like nothing happened?

I have a thing for strong willed characters hiding their perceived weakness from others.

Be strong for them

Thanks for the request! I feel for this type of character a lot. Now you didn't specify if you wanted the whole crew and you being the s/o of one. Or individual. So I'll do individual so that whoever your fav is their'll be something for them. Except Bubble though cause I just can't come up with stuff for them, sry.

Caine

Despite being an AI who doesn't really understand humans I feel he would notice your inner turmoil. He kind of has too! Cause he has to watch for and know if someone is going to abstract. Moving on he appreciates you being strong willed and a joy to be around seeing as how it makes others stick around longer. You can't have a circus without performers after all. Caine being how he is he would most likely just appear in your room while your having a breakdown multiple times because he wants something from you not even noticing you having trouble mentally. Only time he would really notice is if you were at the apex of that breakdown when he showed up. I can 100% see him just floating a few feet away from you one eyebrow raised for a minute with worried eyes before he asked if you were ok. If you said yes, despite what he think's he'll believe you. First few times. If you say no and seem to be looking for some comfort he'll do his best but he isn't exactly good at that kind of thing. More likely then not he wont really touch you but he'll give some words of encouragement and probably ask if their is anything you want (except a way out of the digital realm.) And whatever you ask for you'll have in an instant. But their is a limit. He can't be spoiling you now. He still needs your input on things and giving gifts wont be special anymore if you get whatever you want whenever you want. And after doing the bare minimum and seeing you bounce back and be how you always are he'll assume that what he did worked perfectly and your fine now. He's a little dense I'll be honest. 2.5/10 comfort

Gangle

Now Gangle isn't exactly good with emotions. She has tons sure. But handling them is another story. But you being there and always seemingly in a good mood nothing really affecting you will help her keep calm. I mean just having an anchor can make stuff you usually can't deal with seem small. (Especially if you stick up to Jax for her. Or better yet get her confident enough to do it herself.) When she walked in on you having a breakdown first thing her mind would go to is that your on the verge abstracting which causes her to panic and make the whole thing worse. She doesn't try to it's just a lot all at once. Especially considering how you don't usually show this kind of stuff. Now once the initial shock has worn off and at least she has calmed down some she'll be pretty good at helping you calm down. I mean she's a cinnamon roll. Even if her ways of comfort don't work well just knowing she's trying will definitely help. Now if you cope with more self destructive ways she'll be more worried but try her best to trust you. Though that doesn't mean she'll just let you punch things, especially things that could hurt you (I've punched a few walls in my time and I can safely say it hurts.) Now when you just snap back to how you usually are nothing expect the red eyes and dried tear streams on your face will cause a whole load of more worry in her. How long has this been going on?! Are you ok?! Can she do anything?! DO YOU STILL LOVE HER!?! If you don't accept her help she'll probably start to spiral and take that as you don't trust her enough or you don't think she can help you. So for her sake, and yours let her help. Cause if you do that'll lead to a whole lot of trust and make a very sturdy base for your relationship. It'll also help her get better with emotions as a whole. She wishes she could do more for you but she can and will do what she can with what she has. 8/10 comfort

Zooble

Oof. This probably isn't going to end well. It's basically like a angsty teen trying to comfort someone they care about. Zooble probably acts like she hates how happy and upbeat you are. But she doesn't. When she's laying in bed not wanting to get up the thought of going on an adventure and watching you be dumb on purpose makes her smile and get up. Sure every day is the same in the circus, but with you there it's a nice version of repetitiveness. Now Zooble has a lot of problems. Everyone in the circus does. But if she walked in on your having a breakdown I feel like she would honestly just turn around and leave. Not because she doesn't care. But because she feels she'll make it worse if she stays. Every 5 minutes or so she'll poke her head back in your room to see how your doing. Probably accompanied with a quiet "You uhhh. You doing ok?" if your still crying. Now if she peaked her head in and you were back to normal she might honestly think she hallucinated you crying like that. But their are some things you can't hide. Like puffy eyes or how your voice is a little wavy from crying. So knowing even less what to do now she'll just join you in your room and sit on your bed hoping that just her being around will be enough. Now if you break down again and start venting about what is worrying you she'll sit there and listen intently. If not she'll think that your still not doing ok but she doesn't really know how to bring that out. Or help with it. Overall her comfort is a little lacking but she's trying her best. 4.5/10 comfort

Kinger

Now I headcannon that Kinger is really, really, REALLY good at comfort. I mean did you see the impenetrable fortresses door, and how it was being held up. I don't think a single person ever who is good at making pillow forts is bad at comfort. I feel like overall he would be pretty indifferent to you being all happy though he would appreciate the supportive vibe you bring. He's crazy, I'll just be honest about that. But he seems to be surprisingly resilient as he never gets worse, or better. He just is. When he walks in on you freaking out he doesn't flinch or is surprised. He's been in the digital circus a long time. And he's lost many. He understands why. So he just calmly walks in gives you a light hug No idea how. He doesn't have arms. and a quick forehead kiss. He sits you two down on the floor and makes a little pillow wall around you two. Then he (in a surprisingly calm voice) asks what's troubling you. Now you don't exactly have a choice of if you do or don't tell him. He's lost to many to just leave you on your own in this. So he'll sit there a hand resting on your knee while you mentally prepare yourself. Out of everyone he's the most likely to genuinely and long term help you calm down. He's seen many things, been through many things. No matter what it is that's worrying you it wont surprise him and he can probably help. 10/10 comfort

Ragatha

Well aren't you two just the perfect duo Ragtha is pretty mentally drained having the always be the one that everyone rely on. She was the only anchor for this place the only one keeping everyone spirits high. Then you showed up and made the work 50/50. That's what initially made you catch her eye. You two have enough infection happiness and good vibes to make just about anyone have a good day. Though their are diminishing returns the digital circus wouldn't be the same without you two. When she walks in on your falling apart she reacts two ways. One she also starts freaking out (Just instinct at this point. I mean you saw her in the pilot, every time Pomni started breaking down she interrupted it.) And two a whole lot of understanding on where your coming from. She sits down with you and lets your get it all out before speaking. She asks if your ok, if she can do anything, and what caused it. Once you explain that it's just all so much. The circus, having to be strong for everyone else. It puts so much pressure on you. On hearing that Ragatha breaks into tears flipping the comfort giver and receiver. Once she has gotten most of it out and can make comprehensible sentences again she explains how she's going through the same. On hearing that you feel really bad. You've only been here what a year and your already breaking down over it. But you've always had Ragatha there to lighten the load. But she's been here so much longer doing the exact same but without anyone else to help her. So you make it a kind of personal mission from then on to not make your problems hers and help her out when and wherever you can. -3/10 Comfort. She just had a lot of stuff bottled up and ended up making you worry about even more.

Jax

Jax's first thought would probably be "Oh great, another Ragatha to deal with." But something about you isn't as annoying to him as Ragatha. He actually enjoys and appreciates all that you do for him. And the others too I guess. Now be warned Jax deals with a lot of stuff with humor. And his sense of humor is putting others through anguish mental, emotional, and physical. So when he first finds you crying will most likely make a joke about you being a cry baby or "So you finally broke huh? I always wondered how long it would take" making you feel much worse about it. When if he notices that he'll feel bad and stop maybe. He'll more likely then not just exist in your room, leaning against a wall or grabbing random items off of shelves/your desk to fiddle with. Now when you snap back to how you usually are I really feel like he'll just be like "Oh cool. You fine. Well I'm gonna go get some food." then leave you alone with your thoughts. (I'm sorry to all you Jax fans it's just I don't go for looks like most do. I'm entirely attracted to personality. And Jax's isn't great. I mean Gooseworx confirmed that he isn't like nice deep down. He's just an a$&hole. So if Jax is your fav my Tumblr ain't for you.) 0/10

Pomni

You and Ragatha keep Pomni in one piece. (I mean if Ragatha wasn't in the pilot I feel like Pomni would already be abstracted.) So she kind of clings to you. Not physically but she would fall apart pretty quickly without you there. So when you asked her to grab something for you she did without a second thought. But she wasn't expecting to come back to hearing crying followed by a loud thump in your room. She sprints over and throws the door open only for you to be completely ok and sitting at your desk. You thank her for grabbing it for you then go back to what you were doing making her think she's gone of the deep end and is hearing things. But then it happens again, and again. Leading her to believe your just hiding something from her. So next time it happens she sneaks up to your door and carefully peaks inside only to see your tugging at your hair tears streaming down your face. You punch the wall making her jump and make some noise. Your eyes lock onto the small crack in between the door and the frame you two locking eyes. She blushes heavily then slowly opens the door basically admitting to eavesdropping. She was just worried is all. You quickly clean yourself up and apologize for having her see you like that only causing her to worry more. She doesn't push it knowing from experience how that feels but from that day on she tries to not put as much pressure on you. And makes an effort to return the favor when she can. 4.5/10 comfort (I sincerely enjoyed writing this. Cause I am also a sucker for that kind of character. Hope you enjoyed it!)

xoxo, Jester

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #caine x reader #gangle x reader #zooble x reader #kinger x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #pomni x reader #not beta'd #noob author

[iblameashley]

Something to look forward to

Civilian | Male | Gay

2,607 words

Content: Angst, mention / depiction of blood, hospital recovery, mental breakdown, happy ending.

Follow up to: A Night, A Fight and the Price

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley | Male/GN Reader

!!!SFW!!!

Price swoops in to save the day and take Simon away for medical attention at the 141 base. Later, you're made an offer you can't - and won't - refuse... after all, Simon is your friend and he needs you, even if he'd rather swear off tea for life than admit it.

Tag List: @a-sleepy-dissapointment

(Thanks to @loneghostwolf for permission to use this image)

It all seemed like a dream; or perhaps a nightmare. Simon had slumped over on his floor bleeding out as you frantically tried to apply pressure to his wound. Captain Price had arrived in what felt like an eternity but also in record time. He burst through the door with two other soldiers – both apparently medics.

They swooped in and took over, pushing you out of the way and stabilizing Simon as Price divided his attention between you and Simon. His gruff, deep voice was a stark contrast to his kind demeanour.

“Simon will be okay.” He stated in an even tone as he guided you to the kitchen sink.

Price helped you clean the blood off your hands as you fell into a deep brain-fog.

“We're ready to head out, Cap.” One of the soldiers called out as Price finished drying your hands.

“Rog, move out.” He commanded them, “I'll be down in a moment.”

Price turned his attention back to you as the soldiers hoisted Simon up and walked him from the flat.

“You did good, pal.” Price reassured you, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving you a firm squeeze. It snapped you back to reality.

“Are... is...” You stuttered to find the first question you wanted to ask.

“You did good.” Price repeats with a nod.

All you could do was nod, looking into his calming brown eyes. “Okay.” You managed to mutter weakly.

“I have to go, take care of Simon.” Price explained softly before walking out of Simon's flat, grabbing his mobile as he left.

You stood there silently for a moment, the blood stain still fresh on the floor, and the lingering smell of cigars filling the room.

You broke down; collapsing to the floor and bawling for hours as your brain tried to process everything that just happened. Your eyes burned and turned a puffy red and your chest heaved until you depleted the last of your energy and passed out on the cold kitchen floor.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

It was hard to say how much time had passed when the buzzing of your phone woke you. Your eyes struggled to open, heavy from the weight of events on your heart and mind.

You groaned as you rolled over and felt around for the phone.

“Shut up.” You rasped as your hand slapped around the laminate floor.

You had no choice but to focus your attention and look around until you spotted the mobile buzzing near the drying pool of blood. Your jaw clenched as you relived the moment again. You swallowed hard and turned away from the sight as you grabbed the phone.

“Unknown Number.” You muttered as you looked at the screen.

“Six missed calls.” You said weakly as the call ended and the home screen popped into place. “All from an unknown number.”

A text message came in.

Unknown: This is Captain Price. Please pick up the phone.

Your heart skipped a beat. How did he get your number? You thought about it for a moment, and then remembered that Price had taken Simon's phone as he left the flat. He must have grabbed your number from Simon's phone. Your heart sank as it feared the worst. You sent him a reply.

You: Sorry... I... It was a bad night.

You: Is Simon okay?

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You were surprised when Price had offered to bring you to the base as a visitor, but jumped at the chance if only to see for yourself that Simon was okay. You played at the 'VISITOR' badge pinned to your chest as you were escorted to the medical wing of the 141 complex.

You stood out like a sore thumb surrounded by soldiers going about their days. Every one of them flashed you a glance as you walked through the corridor and into the medical wing.

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Your heart sank into the depths of your stomach as you saw Simon laying on the bed with machines hooked up to him, beeping steadily away. His breath fogged up the oxygen mask in even succession and you timidly approached the bed.

“He's fine.” Called a familiar deep voice.

You turned to see Captain Price standing in the doorway, his expression and tone was flat and the smell of cigars once again filled your nostrils.

“He's just been sedated.” Price continued as he entered the room to take up position beside you.

“For the pain?” You inquired. It seemed unlikely Simon couldn't handle the pain considering he walked home silently and barely made a peep as he bled out.

“No.” Price replied bluntly. “To keep him in bed. The muppet would walk his arse out of medical claiming he was fine if we didn't.” He explained with a wry smile. “You're welcome to stay as long as you need.” Price continues, turning his attention to you. “I mean it. We'll set you up with quarters if you need.”

You looked at him quizzically, “Why?” you asked rather curtly. Your lips pursed and you looked down as you realized your tone.

“Because you're Simon's only non-141 friend.” Price said with a warm smile.

Your heart skipped a beat, or six, as you took that information in. His only non-141 friend? It felt strange to hear, to know, but it was true. You knew that much.

“I looked into you.” Price stated abruptly. “I know you can work remotely, so you won't miss any work time if you temporarily move on to base.” He gives you a half-smile.

“Totally normal use of military power.” You remark sarcastically, flashing Price a curious look.

“I did it for Simon.” Price replies, his tone oddly soft for a man of his rugged looks.

You let out a throaty grumble. You had mixed feelings about that particular approach, but you pushed all that down to focus on Simon.

“Thank you.” You finally said before making your way to the seat next to the bed.

You sat down in the chair, feeling the cold fabric mould to your shape. He likely had little or no visitors, and your heart sank deeper.

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After Price had left, you sat there in the chair for a while simply looking at Simon sleeping. He looked strangely peaceful and relaxed.

Simon's phone sat face up on the table next to his bed. It was charging and you couldn't help but pick it up and turn the screen on. No messages. No phone calls.

You looked over at Simon and bit the inside of your cheek. He deserves better than to be left alone. He should have something nice to wake up to.

It was decided, you were going to make sure to make Simon smile when he woke up.

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You: I met Price properly today, Simon. He's a nice man, gives off fatherly vibes, though the smell of cigars is a bit off-putting. Oh well. He joined me in your room while you slept. We talked a bit, but he had work to attend to, so he excused himself and said we could talk later.

You: Its been three hours now. You look quite peaceful, its a nice change from your usual gruff personality.

You: By the way, if you really didn't want to see that movie with me, you didn't need to go and get stabbed. lol.

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You: I met Kyle today. Or... Gaz I suppose. He's a really nice guy, chatty when he opens up. He came by to see you immediately after he got back from a [Redacted] mission in [Redacted] to obtain [Redacted]. I'm starting to think I don't have clearance for that information. Haha.

Gaz walked in the room, clearly exhausted from doing God-knows what. His eyes fell to Simon first and his expression dropped. It wasn't until he took a few steps forward when he saw you sitting in the chair, typing away on your laptop with the over-bed table lowered to a usable level.

“Hey...” Gaz said curiously as he approached you.

Your ears perked at the sound of his charming voice and you stopped working to look over at him. You could smell gunpowder and sweat, and his eyes looked puffy and tired. “Name's Kyle.” He says, extending a hand. “You can call me Gaz. Price told me Ghost – err – Simon had a friend staying here.” He smiled.

You took his hand and gave it a firm shake. “I didn't believe he had any outside the team.” Kyle joked as he took a seat in the chair beside you.

“Nice to meet you, Gaz.” You replied quietly. You shut the lid to your laptop.

“How's he doing?” Gaz inquired, tilting his head in Simon's direction.

You shrugged a bit, there hadn't been much change in his condition and the nurses wouldn't give you any updates. You were nothing more than a chair warmer and emotional-support human for Simon.

“About the same.” Is all you managed to tell Gaz. “Price says he's sedated to keep him from wandering, and that he should be okay in a week or two.” You explained.

“Brilliant.” Gaz smiles. “Glad to hear he'll be fine, and that gives me time to learn more about his mysterious friend.” He teased. “Care for a tea and a chat?” He asked, motioning for you to join him.

And with that, you two were off to the mess for some tea.

You: Gaz told me a joke, figured you might like it.

You: What sits in the seabed and has anxiety?

You: A nervous wreck.

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You: Got another joke for you.

You: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

You: A gummy bear.

You: I got to meet 'Soap' today. He's... yeah.

Soap had actually sneaked up behind you as you walked from your quarters to the medical wing one morning. You were already used to the sounds to soldiers walking and jogging around the halls, so you paid it no mind until a hand landed on your shoulder and spun you around.

“So you're Simon's wee friend!” He remarked with his perfect smile. “Been lookin' forward to meeting you in person.” He added before releasing your shoulder him its tight grip.

“Let me guess, you thought I was fictional.” You fired back with a mischievous grin.

Soap let out a hearty laugh and shook his head. “Nah, Simon is a good man once you get to know him.” Soap asserted with a nod. “I just needed to see the person who broke through his walls, s'all. Name's Soap, by the way.” He tacked on, giving you a pat and pushing you to walk with him.

“Do I even want to know why you're called 'Soap'?” You inquire, raising a brow.

“Its classified.” Soap joked.

“Of course it is.” You replied with a shake of your head.

“Going to see Simon?”

You nod.

“I'll join you.” Soap decided for you both. “So, tell me about yourself. What do you do? How did you meet Simon? What kept you around Simon?”

Soap fired a barrage of questions as you walked, barely letting you answer one before asking a follow up or new question.

You: He calmed down after a while. But the man can chat, that's for sure. He would even give Gaz a run for his money.

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You: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

You: Nacho cheese!

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You: What do you call a happy cowboy?

You: A jolly rancher.

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You: What kind of music scares balloons?

You: Pop music.

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You: What did the ocean say to the beach?

You: Nothing, it just waved.

You: Met Laswell today. She was not thrilled to have 'a civilian' on base, but got over it pretty quickly when Price explained who I was. I barely spoke to her, but I've learned to never piss that woman off. Mad respect.

Laswell went outside for a smoke break after her initial irritation and conversation with Price. As she let out the first puff of smoke, you approached a bit causally.

She glanced at you curiously as she sucked at the cigarette between her fingers.

“You're friends with Simon, huh?” She muttered.

“His only civilian friend, I'm told.” You replied with a sigh. You proceeded to take a seat on the concrete half-wall nearby.

“What brings you out here?” Laswell asked as she leaned against the wall beside you.

“Needed to move around. Been sitting beside Simon for almost two weeks now.” Your tone is as weary as your body feels. It was something you couldn't admit to anyone on base, but even just watching over Simon seemed to drain what little reserves of energy you had left. You wouldn't abandon him – never �� but it was a lot to handle mentally.

“Understandable.” Laswell sympathized. “How are you doing?” She queried.

She took a long drag from her cigarette.

“Not going to ask how Simon is doing?”

Laswell tossed the butt of the cigarette to the ground and stomped it out.

“I know how he's doing.” She fired back. She gave you a kind smile. “You're the fish out of water here.”

“I'll be happy when they stop sedating him and I can talk to him.”

You roll you jaw around and grit your teeth.

“I miss him.” You add solemnly.

“He's lucky to have you, you know.”

“I'm lucky to have him too...” You mumble.

You: Seems you have a lot of people that care about you. Laswell passed on this joke when I told her what I was doing.

You: Why should you never use a dull pencil?

You: Because its pointless.

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You: Why didn't the sun go to college?

You: Because it already had a million degrees.

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Simon woke up slowly, his head was throbbing and his muscles felt weak. He struggled to look around the room in the dim light. Simon slowly became aware of the machines hooked up to him and began to panic. He was vulnerable. At risk.

He strained hard to move, only managing to weakly pull himself into a sitting position on the bed. He let out a low gasp as the pain in the side of his abdomen seared through his body.

He looked down to see himself in a hospital gown. “Hmm.” He grumbled.

Then his eyes noticed you from his peripheral. You were on a curled up in the chair by the bed, head flopped to the side and gently snoring.

Simon couldn't hold back his smile seeing you sleep.

After a moment of his lingering gaze, Simon turned his attention to his surroundings. He quickly figured he was on the 141 base.

He pulled off the oxygen mask and pulled the wires from his body, shutting the beeping machines off.

He found his phone and flicked the screen of.

“Thrity-six text messages.” Simon mumbled in a raspy voice. “All from...” He looked back to you and another smile crossed his lips. He was too exhausted to maintain his usual emotional armour, and just enjoyed the feeling of happiness that washed over him.

Now to find out what you had sent him.

#gays #lgbtq #cod #cod mwf2 #cod mw2 #cod mwii #call of duty #simon riley #sfw #ghost #simon riley cod #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #simon x male #simon riley x male reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x male #ghost x male reader #ghost x reader #captain john price #john price #john soap mactavish #soap #gaz cod #kyle gaz garrick #kate laswell #laswell cod #story #short story #one shot

[ckret2]

Masterpost for Bill "Goldilocks" Cipher fic

If you're new here, this is one of those fics where Bill comes back in a human body and is imprisoned in the Mystery Shack until the Pines & friends can figure out how to kill him (which they won't, because this is also a "Bill's redeemed through the power of improbable friendship" fic). The "Goldilocks" is because the Pines need a code name other than "Bill Cipher" to call their prisoner, and Bill liked Mabel's suggestion best.

For all my fic, art, doodles, upcoming scene excerpts, and posts about characterization & plot plans, see my #bill goldilocks cipher tag.

New chapter every Friday!

For just the fic itself, here are all the current chapters:

⛓️ 1. Bill returns, in a bedsheet toga.

⛓️ 2. Bill tries to murder the Stans and Soos (with time travel).

⛓️ 3. Dipper and Mabel save the day (with time travel).

⛓️ 4. A tense evening as the Pines prepare to get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 5. Plot twist: the Pines physically can't get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 6. The gang goes to a diner at 3 a.m. for hostage negotiations.

⛓️ 7. "How'd Bill get here" flashback; plus, entering his new prison.

💇‍♀️ 8. Bill gives himself a haircut and depression.

💇‍♀️ 9. Bill & Ford grudgingly have a sincere conversation; regret it.

💇‍♀️ 10. The kids decide Bill won't ruin their summer. Also: Pacifica!

🧚 11. Mabel gives Bill the most beautiful makeover ever. (It's not.)

🧚 12. Pacifica advertises Harry's Hairy Fairy Formula. Bill wants it.

🧚 13. Pacifica refuses to share; the twins discover its side effects.

🧚 14. Mabel wins Bill's eternal friendship with arts & crafts.

💭 15. Bill, Ford, and Dipper have nightmares that are Bill's fault.

💎 16. Ford has a fun day with Mabel but everything goes wrong.

💎 17. The day goes right again thanks to healthy communication.

🐿️ 18. Mabel's Guide To Local Animals, co-starring Bill Cipher.

🧊 19. Wendy snoops into the weird things happening in the shack.

🧊 20. Wendy meets the weird thing (it's Bill).

🎂 21. Stan & Ford's birthday party! Bill gives evil gifts.

💭 22. Bill "helps" Dipper's nightmares; no one knows his motive.

👁️ 23. Bill's ex is back in town and nobody's happy about it.

👁️ 24. Everyone's even less happy to learn Bill has a sex life.

🧿 25. Mabel and Bill make friendship bracelets! :)

🧿 26. The Pines take Bill to the mall. He wears terrible things.

🧿 27. Bill breaks Mabel's heart (and panics to fix it).

🏳️‍🌈 28. Bill talks his way into going with Wendy to Rainbow Club.

🎃 29. Bill contacts the Henchmaniacs on Summerween morning.

🎃 30. Costume making. Mabel pries into Bill's past, with crayons.

🎃 31. The Trickster's pals trick-or-treat; and Bill terrifies Dipper.

🪮 32. Dipper & Mabel make a poppet to control Bill.

🦷 33. Stan takes Bill to the dentist. In handcuffs.

🦷 34. Dentist & tooth fairy attack. Stan & Bill are still handcuffed.

🦷 35. Bill & Stan reach a painful understanding and stop the fairy.

🛁 36. Anime night; and Mabel makes Bill do community service.

🛁 37. Bill plots escape and runs into Wendy. Dipper panics.

🛁 38. Bill has the worst and stupidest day of his afterlife.

🌅 39. A cultist finds Bill; Bill tries to re-recruit Ford.

🚙 40. Gideon broadcasts car commercials; invokes Bill's wrath.

🚙 41. Bill apologizes for bullying Gideon. lol no he blackmails him.

🌕 42. Bill tells Dipper secrets of the universe; predicts an eclipse.

🌖 43. Gravity is disappearing; Ford and Fiddleford investigate.

🌗 44. Ford & Dipper drag Bill hiking; Bill faces his death.

🌘 45. Ford demands answers Bill can't give as totality looms.

🌑 46. Totality. Bill decides whether Ford lives or dies.

🌒 47. Bill feels rotten but finally explains the eclipse.

🌓 48. Bill has a complete mental breakdown.

COMING SOON:

🌔 49. The gang limps home. (Plus: a second dimensional eclipse.)

This fic will start crossposting to Ao3 after The Book Of Bill comes out, because I have my fingers crossed that I'll be able to make it TBOB-compatible with light edits but won't know til then. Until then, read it here!

This post was last updated April 19, 2024! If you're seeing this post as a reblog and it's been a while since then, check back on the original post to see if more's been added!

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #about my writing #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher #reference