#gentleman bastards memes

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: Fighter, I have a wonderful, fantastic idea— Fighter: Does it involve me risking my life? Rogue: I have a wonderful idea— Fighter: Mmm. Does it involve real and immediate danger? Rogue: I have an idea. Fighter: [sighs] When and where?

#rogue #fighter #mod meme #source: gentleman bastard #dnd #dungeons and dragons #incorrect dnd quotes #incorrect dungeons and dragons quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dnd classes

[fandomfilmxblog]

Just some Locke Lamora's meme ;D

#scott lynch #the lies of locke lamora #locke lamora #jean tannen #gentleman bastards #i finished the lies of locke lamora. still think it has some issues but i ended up really liking it despite that and am now readin book 2 #the gentleman bastard sequence #red seas under red skies #the republic of thieves #sabetha belacoros #the sanza's twins #funny memes

[valeriele3]

While listening to Guy.exe I got reminded of the edits/memes with the song like those fake texts thing sooo..

(I’m too lazy to make it into a fake text so here and yes, I mean to put “you” not “Yuu”)

Warning: Cringe

Ace: Alright! We’ve gathered everyone here today to ask the prefect..What their type is!

Leona: Who cares about the herbivores type..I’m gonna go yawn plus that dragon bastard is here

Ace: Nope! No one’s getting out of this room until we get our answer!

Vil: Not everyone has the time for your shenanigans

Deuce: Guys! The prefects on their way

——————————————

Ace: (serious face) Prefect..I— We have a very important question that only you can answer

You: What is it..?

Ace: What’s your type?

You: …

Deuce: Well?

You: ..Are you serious right now?

ADeuce: Very serious

You: You made me run all the way over here panicking just to answer this question?!

Ace: Yes yes yes I may have exaggerated a bit but answer the question!

You: I— Fine.

You: My type is.. Wait what if I..do that thing?Surely that song doesn’t exist here?

Everyone waits with a bated breath

You: A picture perfect guy..

You: Where all the boys at with emotional stability?

Deuce: What’s emotional stability..?

You: Nice car, a ceo, and almost just as smart as me

Kalim: Oh! I have a lot of cars!

Ace: Pfft..Smart..You want someone as dumb as you? Smack Ow!

You: Shut up..Ahem..Back to what I was saying

You: Where all the boys at with financial security?

You: A doctor,

Heartslabyul gang: Dorm leader?!

Riddle: E-Eh..?! What nonsense are you talking about?! Off with your head!

You: A model, a man of possibilities

Epel: Vil-San?!

Vil: You have good taste Potato

You: They say, “expectations are too high, and you’ll never find a guy like that. It’s driving you mad honey,”

Ace: Because it is high! Smack

You: They say that “It’s just a waste of time, get your head out of the sky”

You: But why?

You: Oh I, wish I could synthesize, a picture perfect guy, oh I, oh I..

(At this point you’ve started fully singing and going to guys who fit the description)

You: Six feet tall and super strong

Leona: Hm?

You: We’d always get along, alright, hugs Jack alright

Jack: … (Jack has stopped functioning. Press the button to send help)

You: Ooh, he’d pick me up at eight, and not a minute late

You: ‘Cause I don’t like to wait, no

Malleus: Smile

You: Kind and ain’t afraid to cry

Kalim: gasp Jamil! Jamil! Do I really fit that description?!

Jamil: sigh yes

You: Or treat his momma right

Deuce: O-Oh..But I’ve hurt my mother a lot before

Trey: Ah..Thank you Prefect

You: That’s right, that’s what I like

You: I need a man who don’t get jealous ‘less I want him to

Cater: Oh? Yay~! Selfie! #ThePrefectsType #selfiewiththeprefect

You: A gentleman to take care of me in the bedroom

You: Romantic love but keep it rough, am I asking too much?

Everyone: …

Leona: I know how to keep it romantic and rough. I can show you right now if you wanted to smirk

Malleus: I suggest you keep your hands off of what’s mine Kingscholar

Lilia: Fufu~ I know just how to keep it romantic and rough Darling

Silver: Fa— Lilia-Sama! Σ('◉ ⌓ ◉’)

Everyone started fighting bickering on who can keep it the most romantic and rough in bed

Grim: FFGNA! No one’s going to bed my henchman! You need my approval first! Shoo shoo!

#☆〜valerie's own work #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #malleus draconia #x reader #disney twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland kalim #kalim al asim x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #twst wonderland #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #epel felmier #ace trapola #jack howl x reader #jamil viper #twisted wonderland cater #cater diamond x reader #cater twisted wonderland

[helloaugustmoon]

·˚ ◌༘͙[tiktoks] ! ˊ

- will update as and when good ones show up on the fyp -

these are tiktoks that I just know he would’ve been…

loving:

smooth criminal game - the editing on this?? pls he’d have wanted to make a whole concept album on being inside a video game

heeee’s baaaad - oh you KNOW he liked feelin bad

badass moonwalker - this ??? he’d have had this framed if he could, I’m convinced

smooth criminal transition - edits w transitions as clean as this he would be watching ON A LOOP

another transition - same point as previous; he’d def integrate clean transitions like this into mv’s and shows if he saw them

the legend - ok so he’d laugh at the first part of this one but then find the rest of it to be just so <333

smooth SMOOTH criminal - honestly any well made Smooth Criminal edit n he’s all over it

the goat - oh he loves us gassin him up let’s not play about

hugs - you just know he’d see this and feel an actual pain in his chest knowing we all want to give him the biggest hugs pls

smooth criminal x moonwalker - this is a literal work of art and Michael would have ADORED it

thriller - oh he’d be all over this

take my hand - this would’ve made him cry as much as it makes us cry

laughing at:

silly guy - we all know this’d have him gigglin

gentleman - the concept of edits like this would have him so shy but the ones w funny intros like this would make him laugh sm

this man is - same point as previous, the concept is alien to him but the humour?? hits

running away from wedding - oh he’d be CACKLING

you are mine - bro caught in 4K

defending him - no bc he was a pacifist through and through but also THE petty king like don’t get it twisted

reacting - he’d find the editing style w sound effects like this hilarious don’t argue

wtf did you just say - no bc this would crack him up so bad

close to midnight - undeniably his fav genre of tiktoks and that’s not up for debate

double cheeked up - he’d be in hiding for 8 business days after seeing this bc he’d be too shy to face us for generating this kind of content

what a shmuck - this isn’t an edit but Ik he’d laugh at himself in this clip

silly goofy - he’s just a silly guy and he knows it so his fans pointing that out would have him chuckling fr

relatable - the idea of fans making memes of him that they find relatable would be soooo funny to him

relatable 2 - exact same as previous

me when I lie - envisioning his exact response to this and it’s just: 🤭

wtf did you just say part 2 - AGAIN w this humour in sound effects he would love it sm

caught in 4K v2.0 - petty king and we all know it

too much going on - the audio omg he’d be running away laughing

clutching pearls - the way I just know he’d try to deny this the modest bastard

bro movin like - he’d be giggling at himself sm bc of us on this goddamn app

sunglasses - he wouldn’t find himself funny in this clip without the music in the background and that singlehandedly makes it funny to him

promise? 🫵🏻🤨 - literally just adding the text over it makes him giggle

bombastic side eye - no bc he would have no idea he was doin all this on instinct until he saw it back

[mrtheinsatiable]

Results of my family's random word generator haiku challenge

Malar

Me

It is my cheekbone

They call it "malar" I guess

Kind of a weird prompt

Brother (@drjammies)

Hillocks of bone o'er

Planes of soft flesh, this about

My malar baby

Mom

There she sits alone

Malar splendor evident

Sunlight on her face

Gusset

Brother (@drjammies)

Art from the dumpster

Is a gusset for my mind

And my wallet too

Mom

The table is made

I have undone my gusset

It is time to eat

Me

Triangular bitch

Making this take forever

Gusset I hate you

Garden

Mom

Garden empty now

Where our children ran and played

Now they're grown and gone

Me

Impetuous growth

Taking back their land of birth

Weeds in my garden

Brother (@drjammies)

Oh you garden bro?

Garden yourself from any

Bitches! Bazinga!

Thermal

Me

Mom thinks that thermal

Is some sort of Tumblr meme

No, my dude, it's not

Brother (@drjammies)

What are you for bro?

What is thermal paste for mate?

I haven't a clue.

Mom

Thermal underwear

When it's cold they're nice to wear

Go get you a pair

Insolvent

Brother (@drjammies)

My whole day wasted

And yet I'm still insolvent

Please die free market

Mom

Nothing left to us

Insolvent is not a good word

We have lost it all

Me

Antidepressants

Have made this bitch insolvent

Girl help - my money :(

Krumkake

Mom

I learned a new word

The Norwegian "krumkake"

Now I want to bake

Me

Krumkake does not

Rhyme with bukkake, dumbass

It is Norwegian

Brother (@drjammies)

It's not krumkkake

Or crumb cake, thank you voice guy

You said krumkake

Pileated

Me

Humans don't have crests

Having a head does not make

You pileated

Brother (@drjammies)

Sick fucking helmet

Pileated like a bird

Peacock lookin ass

Mom

Only thing I know

To use pileated on

Is a woodpecker

Smoothbore

Brother (@drjammies)

Ain't got no rifling

Doesn't seem like a good gun

That bullet will drift

Mom

Don't you speak to me

You smoothbore motherfucker

I ain't got the time

Me

He has that smoothbore

Just shoots it straight, no technique

Vanilla ass bitch

Yonder

Mom

"Yonder" is a word

We don't use it every day

Poems or hillfolk

Me

O'er yonder I see

A gentleman with much rizz

And I must say - would

Brother (@drjammies)

Why are you barking

Out yonder window, dog?

Chill out, bastard dog

#poetry #haiku #we had fun

[radicarian]

For that fic meme: L, R, S, W.

Behind a cut 'cause I picked way too long of a scene to DVD-comment about.

L. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Characters Must Solve A Murder.

I think it'd also be fun to write more Fantasy Politicking but I do not believe I am sufficiently well-read for that kind of thing.

R. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Chapter 3 of "Grounded" is, to date, the piece of writing I'm most satisfied with in terms of accomplishing what I meant it to do. So... some notes on the art gallery scene!

I wanted to keep the canonical clue to the Phoenix Cave's location in Gestahl's portrait. I also wanted to build in various parallels between Locke's solo chapter and Edgar's, and I hadn't planned much of Edgar's at the time, but I knew that Gerad Shenanigans were a given. Ergo, Locke also gets to try on a fake identity and get his questions answered through crime!

(And they both end up doing shitty and unflattering impressions of each other. The concept amused me.)

This was written in late 2020. Earlier in the year I had reread the Gentleman Bastards books. I am pretty sure, in this scene in particular, I got my Locke Cole cross-contaminated with some Locke Lamora. I'm not sorry about it! The circle is complete! Anyway, I don't think I borrowed anything that's not a reasonable extrapolation from Locke Finalfantasy's in-game characterization, and I do think this is a valid take on how that guy would bullshit his way into a rich-people party and cause trouble.

Also... this was written in late 2020. During lockdowns, Rich People at my workplace had been saying shit like "oh noooo the pandemic caught us in our European house as opposed to any of our three other houses, and we have been TRYING to pull strings with the local government to let us get on a plane and leave this house for a more different house, but these guys are acting weirdly insistent that the rules actually apply and things that happen in the world are relevant to us??? Even US?????" That's it. That's the vibe of this scene. How lucky it was exactly what I needed for a story; I'd hate to have endured that for nothing.

Some additional Tasteless-Rich-People-Art takes were probably influenced by McMansion Hell.

The "rustic breakfast" that Locke is so scathing about... is this. Delicious.

At the time of writing, my favorite couple of lines were:

There was always this moment, right before things went off the rails, right as the game changed on you: this moment of clarity where you realized, Okay, the time for careful maneuvers is over, I'm about to start some shit. Like hanging, just for an instant, in midair.

...But I'm no longer sold on that second sentence; early in the drafting process I was like "heh heh heh, I bet people falling from a great height, e.g. in an airship crash, is something that smashes Locke right in the Dead Girlfriend Trauma," but as things went on I forgot to do much with that motif. I was distracted by the bird motif. So the falling/not-falling thing doesn't quite... ... land.

Overall, though, I wanted this whole chapter to be "Locke does cool stuff, while also being a giant mess. He's making progress in pursuit of a goal, but the goal is objectively wack." And I think it is that!

S. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

Easiest is probably Best Boy Sabin Figaro. He's straightforward, while still having enough going on to be interesting - and his voice, in narrative or in dialogue, is really forgiving of weird or infelicitous phrasing. He just says stuff and does stuff and doesn't obsess about it, and considering that a lot of my other go-to characters are on 2-6 layers of meta at any given time, he is SO REFRESHING.

Hardest, of characters I have actually attempted writing more than once... ...Johannes Cabal. Not because it's particularly difficult to get into his head; IMO just thinking "peevish nerd" is 75% of the way there. Rather, the logic by which his universe operates is hard for me to get a handle on. And without getting that right, it's difficult to strike the correct balance between him being 1) very smart and cold-blooded and dangerous, 2) an extremely uncool pathetic weirdo. He doesn't quite work without a properly calibrated narrative voice of "we like this guy, but also, hahaha screw this guy." I haven't totally ruled out writing about him again, but it's a tricky needle to thread.

W. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

I've never done a fic remix but I think "The Echoing World," a little exchange fic I wrote with OoT!Zelda in the world of Majora's Mask, has potential that-a-way. I was doing some structural weirdness with it already - sort of smash-cutting between Zelda encountering various Termina weirdos, with these main scenes being in past-tense, and a sprinkling of present-tense drabbles (Yes They Are 100 Words Precisely, This Was Important, For Reasons) where she's trying a bit harder to reconcile where she is, what's going on, and how time even works here. I could easily imagine flipping that around to foreground the spooky vibes a bit more... maybe especially dialing in on that bit where Zelda's not sure whether she's Zelda or Sheik. She is trying to solve an ontological mystery here but also this dream world is so weird it's making her doubt the reality of the real world?

#ask meme

[humblemooncat]

*Tosses this old man at you*

I want to eventually introduce my other rp characters/OCs here, so I figured I'd start off with my favorite besides my WoL, Ki'to.

Backstory & other info under the read more 'cause it got lengthy. xD

This here is Seire Greystone (formerly Jehantel when he'd adopted his mother's name), bastard son of House Dzemael and youngest brother to the now retired Count. Though his mother had traveled to Ishgard for a while, he was born and raised in Ul'dah. He learned much in the Jewel of the Sands, mainly the merchants' trade and how to source and make his own jewelry.

As his mother forbade him from traveling to Ishgard, he made himself a cozy little spot in the Sapphire Avenue Exchange for many years, though ever questioning why he could not visit his homeland. At age 25 he was finally told why. Though this only served to fuel his curiosity; he'd seen and befriended children born of illegitimate means before, why would it matter over there? Still, he heeded his mother's pleas and stayed.

When she had eventually passed a couple years later, curiosity once again got the better of him and he made his way north.

After settling in to the home he had bought with his savings, Seire finally decided to explore the city. Only to see an all too familiar face; one of his frequent customers, and apparently manservant to House Dzemael, "sent" to keep an eye on his mother and eventually him as well. (Y'all can't tell me the Dzemael's wouldn't be that petty. They absolutely would)

Though he was determined to become a Dragoon, as his mother used to tell him stories of the Azure Dragoon which fascinated him to no end, his old regular had other plans for him. The man enrolled him in the Scholasticate, knowing full well if he became a man of the cloth he would bear no other children of Dzemael blood into the world. Though originally threatening his mother's life if he did not join, he'd soon realized from his demeanor that she walked Halone's halls. Instead threatening to reveal him as a bastard to the entire Holy See. Now, Seire had no clue that that was not as much of a threat as he made it seem, but with his mother's warnings in the back of his mind he conceded.

Not only did he join the Scholaticate, but passed with high honors at the end of his schooling and was extended a hand to join the clergy. Upon chancing to hear of the manservant's dismissal from House Dzemael however (and knowing now he was acting alone), he refused, having no further need to play this game.

Though his faith in Halone was strengthened, he still knew he would better serve her with a lance in hand. So he trained for years to eventually take up the dragoon's mantle. And faithfully did he serve against the Dravanians for many years, and made many an alliance along the way. By the end of his service he was endeared to both House Haillenarte and Fortemps, and even took up the latter's mantle as a knight for a while before he would finally retire at 50. Though what little good it did as he took up the lance again at Count Edmont's behest for the crescendo of the Dragonsong War.

It was then, after man and dragon joined hands once again, that he finally knew peace.

Other Info In case y'all are curious and/or want to rp sometime!

Age: 51 Race: Wildwood Elezen Patron Deity: Halone, The Fury Gender: Male, He/Him Height: 6' 10" Server: Zalera, Crystal DC (Though I hover around Ishgard on Balmung and Mateus most often) Open to walk-ups? Yes Open to venue & event invites? Yes Open to shipping? Depends; It would have to be an older gentleman like him, as he is a gay ol' boy who's not interested in anyone much younger or older than him. (He also rather enjoys Au ra if you've got one who'd be interested)

If there's anything else you're curious about in regards to him, by all means send me an ask! (Or, if you want to target any asks from my ask meme reblogs at him, just mention it's for him so I know!)

I have one other OC on Dynamis I'll introduce at a later date; she's a peach that I'm sure y'all will love. I figure I'll trickle them all in eventually. o/

If you read this far, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this old boy as much as I do. As reward for your patience, here is what he looks like in my mind's eye (Just without the scar; If you know the artist btw, please tell me! Reverse image search came up empty!)

#Seire #Seire Greystone #ffxiv oc #ffxiv #Boy I wrote a lot more than I expected #He's always open for RP btw!

[flo-nelja]

Shipping Meme: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell ?

One True Pairing Ship: The Gentleman/Stephen Canon Ship: Jonathan/Arabella <3 “If this happens I’ll stab my eyes out with a spork” Ship: The Gentleman/Arabella maybe “I’m one sick bastard” Ship: The Gentleman/Stephen(/Emma) “I dabble a little” Ship: Segundus/Honeyfoot “It’s like a car crash” Ship: Lascelles/Drawlight ^^ “Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet” Ship: Emma->Arabella “Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not” Ship: Childermass/The Raven King maybe “Everyone else loves it but I just don’t feel it” Ship: Childermass/Segundus “When all is said and done” Ship: Jonathan/Norrell <3

#meme replies

[vole-mon-amour]

IWTV (2022), 1x01.

Ok I wanted to wait until I fully finish the first book and I was very very skeptical bc they changed so much compared to the book (and even the first movie), but I was also intrigued, so...

*exhales in embarrassment, hiding my face in my hands* Sam Reid as Lestat speaking French... I was already biased 'cause he's gorgeous and he fits RIGHT IN, it's like he IS Lestat but—

I'm twently minutes into it and damn it, Reid. The wonders the right writing and casting can do ('cause I don't even like Lestat in the books nor in the movie!)

The contacts are a bit weird, so are the glassy nails (which is also pointed out in the book that *some* notice it when they don't notice anything else) and I'm surprised how no one called Lestat on that but alas.

We all remember that meme, right? Yeah, they seem to be VERY good friends. At the same time, just like Sam said, "They don't like each other, they're just in love."

Yooo, Lestat stopping time, mesmerizing all the members but Louis at the table, speaking to Louis through his thoughts is SO cool. And then this bitch just raises his eyebrows like that when Louis is completely ?????

That bitch decided to haunt Louis already, huh? Not like the book at all, this is a completely different story. The quality of it, however. Hell yeah. He IS a charming bastard. Who wouldn't fall for that, huh.

Yeah, this isn't the book. It's close, but it's not it. IDK if it's good or bad.

"I was being hunted. And I was completely unaware it was happening."

Such a gentleman. Get close to your prey, pretend to be a friend, seduce him into obeying to you. Whilst in the book Lestat sees Louis, stalks him for a very short time without revealing himself to Louis & then making him his partner, whether Louis wants it or not. Not knowing the book, all the gifs looked like a love story. Knowing the book? This ain't it, chief, lol. Not a love story at all.

Oh, it's easy. He wants to drink blood from his neck. turn him into a vampire, fuck him, be with him, haunt him. But for the sake of the story we'll call it "investment opportunities".

Oh, Lestat. This version of him fascinates me. Poor little meow meow that is at the same time a toxic bitch, huh?

One moment he is lost in the memories and the pain. The other he's all present and watches Louis. Yeah, I'm gonna have all sorts of complex feelings. I probably need to read a book about Lestat, but before that I need to finish the first book & that I am really struggling with bc Claudia, my love, deserves better. *deep sigh* Yeah...

Rolling my eyes bc of all this flattery. Sweetie... stop it. :)

Oookay.... ???? The way the absolutely destroyed canon in that sense? Cause didn't in the book he met him after Louis and Claudia were already vampires? The one that he turned cause they were so in love? The one he came with at Louis and Claudia after Claudia tried to kill Lestat and were caught in the fire? Or is there another violinist?

Companion heart, huh? Trying to take this with a grain of salt 'cause they do make it look like a love story. Oh, I want you so much, I'm so in love. Then starts the abuse.

hands <3

he is so fine, especially in that robe.

That is how you want to win him over? Lol. Asshole.

I mean, all supernatural aside, that is quite accurate for when you're not ok with your sexuality, but slept with a man and (kind of) fallen in love with him. And your feelings haunt you. Add supernatural to that & no wonder you're losing your mind.

Applauding. He's beautiful & the acting is great.

You're right, he is smashing those monologues. Still trying to place his deep voice & his accent, though. An interesting version of Lestat.

Liiiies. I mean, he believes it at the moment, but how the tables turn afterwards.

The analogue for sex and intimacy and how Lestat just collapsed there. x) Pretty, though.

The Inside episode is cooler than the entire episode. x) All those, "Yeah, I can give him an idea of what I can do" with that editing is absolutely precious. Looks waaay better this way. Playful. "Lestat did not see it that way. He would say he was courting Louis." Sure he was wasn't hunting and stalking him. <3

#natiswatching #iwtv 2022

[incorrectgentlemanbastards]

the gentleman bastards sequence as youtube clickbait titles

the lies of locke lamora: fake business venture prank!!! (GONE HORRIBLY WRONG)

red seas under red skies: WE GOT KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES!!!!! (NOT CLICKBAIT)

the republic of thieves: prank war with my EX?!?!?!???

#gentleman bastards #the lies of locke lamora #red seas under red skies #the republic of thieves #gentleman bastards memes #gb #the gentleman bastards #locke lamora #incorrect quotes #the gentleman bastards sequence #jean tannen #sabetha belacoros #incorrect gentleman bastards

[seasononeklaus]

#hi hello i am coping with bad memes #the gentleman bastard sequence #the lies of locke lamora #everyone i read this chapter it takes five years off my lifespan one day it will simply cause me to drop dead

[jellisdraws]

Must a story be “good”?

Is it not enough to write about a pair of dumbasses falling in love and saving the world?

#writing #writeblr #funny #shitpost #dumb stuff #memes #shakarian #catradora #tag your otp #tag your fave #tag your fandom #fandom #fanfic #stories #characters #korrasami #the gentleman bastards #otp

[random-jot]

Sir please, that's my emotional support 'best-friend character who has a slight caffeine addiction in the third book of their fantasy series'

#coffee #jean tannen #rhia knoll #the republic of thieves #the soul of power #the gentleman bastard sequence #the waking land trilogy #scott lynch #callie bates #books #reading #fantasy books #fantasy book memes #the lies of locke lamora #red seas under skies #the waking land #the memory of fire #character similarities #paralells #character parallels #meme

[bondsmagii]

☕️ Alina Starkov, ☕️ the Falconer, ☕️ Dostoyevsky, ☕️ the Big Chungus song, ☕️ Athos & Astrid Dane

OH BOY.

☕️ Alina Starkov

my bitch is so dumb but I love her 😩 like a lot of the time I kind of want to shake her but what can you do!! I really do think she put up with far too much shit lmao but at the same time over the course of the three books she does get much better at asserting herself and she stops being so directionless, and I was super psyched to see her punch Nikolai and tell people to suck her long and hard through her jorts and stuff. I see a lot of people complain that she’s boring and whiny but like... I don’t see it? she definitely has her whiny moments but then you remember she’s a seventeen-year-old girl stuck in what was perhaps the World’s Suckiest Situation so I can hardly blame her.

overall I think her defining feature is bravery. time and time again she has to face the worst possible scenario and she still does what she believes is right, when many other people would have flinched away from it. she has a very strong moral code (perhaps the strongest in the series, if I’m honest -- Alina alone does things because it’s the right thing to do, and not because of any ulterior/personal motive) and she’s pretty fucking badass. she’s also funny as hell. like, why don’t more people talk about how funny she is? my girl is a comedic genius. 

my main criticism of her is that she didn’t say fuck it and go ape shit and rule Ravka forever on the shadow throne she shares with her hot evil boyfriend the Darkling but like whatever, it would be unrealistic if a character didn’t have flaws.

☕️ the Falconer

I fucking love this asshole. from the moment his pretentious arrogant ass appeared on the page talking like someone out of Shakespeare I knew I was gonna love him. I absolutely love arrogant characters who can back it up and he is the dictionary definition of this; likewise I love it when they get their ass handed to them and guess what! the Falconer provides this, too! everything about him is So Fucking Much and I just love it. I’m super excited after reading the end of The Republic of Thieves, and I’m really hoping that Scott Lynch is planning to bring him in as a Big Villain because that would just be so fucking sexy and definitely the best & most righteous thing to do.

he feels like such a solid character, too -- very often a character’s arrogance can be their only defining trait, but the Falconer has a whole history and personality that’s very solid even before it’s expanded on in the third book. everything about him is just very interesting and I absolutely adore how ruthless he is -- sometimes authors imply or tell but don’t show, but the Falconer is kind of scary, I’m not gonna lie. I would hate to have him pissed at me and I’m very thankful that I am a different Locke. this bitch is so dramatic and full of himself but he’s also smart enough to actually get what he wants and have people look at him and think “yeah he seems like someone to align myself with” and I’m not saying that he’s the kind of person who could lead a cult but I’m also not not saying it.

also the fact that his type of specialised magic is looked down upon in Karthain and seen as Not Desirable but he’s just like fuck you guys birds are neat and does it anyway? very sexy of him.

☕️ Dostoyevsky

bruh... I finally understand what people mean when they go off about Shakespeare or whatever like I’ve never really got Shakespeare and had no idea why people stan him so hard but then I read Dostoyevsky and like. I get it. I get it now. I understand how people feel. I understand the very emotion that Henry Winter felt when he asked Richard what he thought of Homer and Richard was like “I... like Homer?” and Henry fixed him with this death gaze and said “I love Homer.” like that’s me!! that’s me bitch that’s me with Dostoyevsky I get it!!

I can’t even articulate why I feel this way because this love sprung upon me very recently; I read The Brothers Karamazov a while back and adored it and it’s always stuck in my mind since, but then I just read The Idiot this week and holy shit I was just struck by... I don’t even know, Emotions™. I think it’s because The Idiot is clearly Dostoyevsky’s most personal work in terms of themes and opinions, and that combined with the fact that a) Dostoyevsky and I seem to be in agreement on many fundamental issues explored in the book and b) I was literally in the process of thinking about those issues in great detail when I picked the book up has resulted in me just being a full-blown Dostoyevsky Bitche™ now. I love him. I feel so Seen when I read his works but in a way that’s really not bad at all; it’s phenomenal, how he manages to articulate things where I thought I was the only one who thought that or felt that. of course, I know I’m not the only one -- that would be statistically impossible -- but everyone experiences things differently even if it’s the exact same thing, but Dostoyevsky manages to describe how it was for me, and not only that, but also at multiple different points in my life. how does he do it? we just don’t know, but I love him for it. 

I absolutely know this is going to be my literary niche and I am absolutely OK with that. it’s made me even more determined in my Russian studies because my goal is now to read all his works in the original Russian. if his work is this beautiful translated into English, I can only imagine what it would be like if I read it how it was intended to be read.

☕️ the Big Chungus song

the Big Chungus song haunts me because the very first time I heard it, I swore I’d heard it before. I had not, because it’s not the kind of song you can forget, but it reverberated deep in my soul and felt familiar on an existential level. I cannot explain this and nor do I want to; sometimes you’re just gifted these things, and it’s within your best interests to accept.

the only other thing I really have to say about it is that it slaps harder than pretty much anything I’ve ever heard before.

☕️ Athos & Astrid Dane

god these two were so great but I wish we’d known more about them! like on the one hand the lack of development is great because I get to go ham sandwich in my fics and basically write their lives for them which I love doing because my headcanons are sexy & righteous and born of only the hottest takes imaginable, but at the same time I have to write it all and I would also like to read it all. you can see my dilemma clearly.

I loved what I did get, because I love it when nasty characters are truly nasty. Athos and Astrid are fucking reprehensible. there’s no redeeming features, there’s no excuse for what they did -- they’re just evil and sadistic, and that’s that. I also love how Astrid is just as evil as her brother, because often the woman is portrayed as Not As Bad in some way, or as the foil to the man, and especially so with twins, but no. they’re both just fucking awful and nasty and they love it and they encourage one another to be their worst-ass self and it’s just brilliant. it’s like the Evil Twin trope, but both of them are the evil twin. it’s really refreshing to see a book commit to the idea of truly sadistic characters who are sadistic for no other reason other than they enjoy it -- the Danes didn’t become this way because they wanted to rule; they rule because they are that way. 

the character development past this is kind of eh, but at the same time they’re definitely not just Sadists™ and nothing beyond that. there’s enough there for me to get my teeth into, anyway, and I just have so many questions about them that I can write lots of fic answering. also their aesthetic is brilliant. all pale and washed out and wearing white (naturally so the blood splatters can show up clearer)? veins going black with corruption so they look like walking marble terrors? Makt couture baby.

#[deep breath] #grishaverse #gentleman bastards #shades of magic #fyodor dostoyevsky #big chungus #about me #topic meme #vestriis #asks

[nicnackscorner]

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[mercysought]

@aglaecan​ said: ❂ = wiping blood off their face (your gentleman reacting to my bastard, because 'the gentleman & the bastard' is just an aesthetic and a half) from muse’s reaction ( accepting ) 

The gentleman stands in the middle of the room, blood all around him but none on his black shiny boots; none on the long brown and black robes carefully get around his form. There is blood in the space between the wooden planks that composed the floor. Having blood feed into the wood is not new to it, it knows the taste of it so well that it has become an intrinsic part of its existence. Underneath it was not fat that kept the wood from shaking under a heel but the dried up blood that remained through the years. Stories of themselves.

The gentleman stands, no blood on his clothes or skin. It falls like rain like around him and yet never quite touching him.

The people are rioting, the banners of deep crimsons and red over their heads swinging and the songs of the crowds that turn into roars. His ringed fingers brush against the fabric absentely as black eyes fall on the man that approaches slowly. Proud. He owned the air all around him, the chaos and the riot part of his breath and beat of his wrists nearly as much as the keen and silent intelligence that lingers in the darkness of his own eyes.

No blood falls on the gentleman, no blood except the drop on his cheek, poured from the edge of a blade as yet another body falls to the ground. When Nero's hand falls and moves towards the gentleman's face, the pull that is around it shifts. Black eyes follow the hand as it hovers on the air, in the space between where the other would have seen his face and the space that he occupied; both true, depending on the time. His hand hovers, two pulls holding it in place in the air for the split second as the last body hits the ground.

Black eyes do not leave his hand, they simply follow the movement as it still hangs, its palm clean except for his sweat, not knowing how druly dark and dirty its palm had become. Another second passes and Nero's hand touches the gentleman's face, removing the red from the frame that had no space for it.

His strands are drawn in red, and they spill and twist all of those that hang around him; either those that lace into him willingly or those that he consumes line by line into becoming just another one of his. Banner of black meant nothing when the pattern was of many different shades of red. When his fingers leave his face, he can still hear the songs of the riots, fading as he smiles.

The gentleman's eyes are on him. The bastard, or so they had took to call him. A rather unfortunate title, regardless of validity and description of the word. Nero might not wear any sigil but the shade of his anger and the black of his banner are enough. The chipped head of the lion on his indicador brushes against the other's hand, briefly, holding at the side before allowing it to fall at the side of the captain's body "Quite the messy affair."

#aglaecan #the gentleman ( muses ) #raven received ( meme replies ) #( the gentleman & the bastard really is a mood )