#gandulf

[sauronnaise]

#tolkien #bad memes #the hobbit #the lord of the rings #lotr #incorrect tolkien #shitpost #silmarillion #crack #fíli #kíli #thorin oakenshield #pippin #peregrine took #fool of a took #gandalf #gandulf #sam gamgee #samwise the brave #frodo baggins #finrod felagund #ingoldo #findaráto #turgon #turukáno #house of finwë #nargothrond #gondolin

[playbucky]

Ride Along.

You are a mage. One that has always accompanied Gandalf on his tasks, and this one isn’t much different except now you have the company of other dwarves and maybe a hobbit to be the burglar that they need. Characters – Gandalf, Bilbo, Thorin. Word Count – 714. N/A – this is my first hobbit fic, I hope you do enjoy it. Depending on the response there might be more.

Knocking on the circular wooden door you could hear mumbling as the owner stepped closer, cursing out something or another. ‘I don’t-‘ The hobbit stopped when he saw you, you held your hand up giving him a polite wave before lowering your hand. ‘I was told to come here by Gandalf.’ You said giving him a polite smile, you saw his Adam’s apple bob before he nodded. ‘And by the noise that is coming from your kitchen means the rest are already here.’ You stated, he glanced over his shoulder and nodded, you could see the annoyance etched on his face. ‘Is it okay if I come in?’ You asked, his eyes widened slightly. ‘There’s not much space left.’ He commented, you nodded with a smile. ‘That’s fine, I’ll say hello grab something to eat if there’s any and then I leave.’ You told him, he slowly opened the door fully allowing you to step in. ‘The dwarves can be robust without their leader sometimes.’ You told him as a loud crash from the kitchen and his face twisted when he pushed his door back over. ‘Gandalf isn’t their leader?’ He questioned, walking beside you as you followed the noises, you shook your head. ‘No, Thorin is but he seems to be running late.’ You told him, he puffed out his cheeks but nodded. ‘Gandalf.’ You greeted the older wizard, he smiled. ‘Y/N.’ He said, puffing smoke from the pipe, ‘you finally joined us.’ ‘Thought I’d be the last one here.’ You commented, Gandalf shook his head and glanced to Bilbo. ‘No, still missing one.’ Gandalf told you, you gave a slow nod before following Bilbo down the narrow corridor, the shouting getting louder. ‘Y/N!’ Killi said when you arrived at the archway, catching the roll that was flung past you before smiling at him. ‘I see you’ve made yourselves at home.’ You commented, looking at the large group of the burly men seated around the large table, the food scattered across the table. ‘Why wouldn’t we?’ Someone asked with their mouth full. ‘Because it isn’t your home, it’s Mr Baggins’s.’ You reminded them, they were about to grumble before the heavy footsteps sounded next to you. You turned and looked at Thorin, he gave you a nod as a form of greeting. You took this as your queue to step back and let him take the seat that had quickly emptied. Having sat outside for a lengthy amount of time the door opened, you twisted in your seat to see the burly men walking out, mumbling and talking among themselves, Gandalf behind them. You made eye contact with him, he frowned and shook his head. You pursed your lips and nodded before you stood up, dusting the back of your trousers. ‘You aren’t coming with us?’ You asked, Mr. Baggins shook his head. ‘I’m not the adventurous type.’ He said, you frowned slightly before nodding. ‘Very well Mr. Baggins, I hope you have a good day and a good life.’ You told him with a smile, stepping out his house following the path down and into the fresh green fields. ‘And enjoy the lovely you home you have.’ You said, giving him a nod before you quickened your step to join the others.

‘Mr. Baggins what at pleasure to see you again.’ You told him truthfully he looked at you on the horse before smiling. ‘Looks like you’ve given this adventure another thought.’ You commented, he nodded. ‘There is a horse for you.’ You told him, gesturing towards Thorin that was watching the pair of you, he looked at it before shaking his head. ‘If you’re worried about a horse Mr. Baggins then you will have a hard time.’ You explained, he looked at you before making his way over to the smaller horse, you twisted and looked at Gandalf who was hiding his shook. ‘I’m going to go ahead.’ You told him, he looked at you. ‘Y/N.’ He warned, you shook your head. ‘Nothing to worry about, just- I have a feeling.‘ You told him, he nodded slowly before you gently kicked your horses ribs, causing him to jerk into action and start running. ‘Y/N.’ ‘Thorin.’ You greeted as you passed him, the wind rushing through your hair and your horses main.

#bilbo baggins #the hobbit x reader #reader x the hobbit #the hobbit #gandulf #thorin Oakenshield #Gandalf #Kili oakenshield #Dili oakenshield #the hobbit imagies

[alalaya2]

Prompt pondering

So I recently read that hobbits Marriage are private affairs. The intended couple will vanish for a few days without telling anyone and return married. That would definitely lead to some speculation about Pippin, Mary, Frodo and Sam but the fact that Pippin Mary and Frodo are cousins would probably make the Shier not jump to them getting married. But there was another Hobbit that vanished for a very long time.

Bilbo was gone for a while and returned with Gandalf. What if the people of the Shire are not mad at Gandalf Because of the trouble he brings but because the more traditional Hobbits are mad because they see his leaving all the time and long absences as continuously abandoning his spouse.

#lord of the rings #Gandulf the Gray #bilbo baggins #hobbies #the hobbit #hobbit culture #writers prompt #food for thought

[squadron-of-damned]

how do the wolves in the family deal with the full moon? :0 also, have they been confused with actual wolves and got accidentally shot?

It used to be that most of them shut the blinds, locked themselves in their room and waited it out. Or, if they were Wolfgang, ventured out into the woods and returned in the morning naked, dirty and with various animal fur between their teeth.

Now they have Gandulf who's liberated several chunks of moon rocks and had them done into pendants which his family now wears. Moonlight is just sunlight reflected from by the moon. Full moon is when all of the moon's face is not in the Earth's shadow. Hawing a piece of the moon concealed on your body provides an occult loophole, because suddenly it's not "all" of the moon that affects you, you have this piece of it which counters it.

It also works the other way around - if you pull out that chunk of rock in daylight and position yourself just right, you can plausibly claim that you have a full moon in your hand and you can transform.

What is absolutely infuriating is that the guy who came up with this has almost walked to work in his pajamas today because "it's clothes, and at work I have to wear clothes." I dunk on Gandulf being a total dumbass a lot, but I must also point out he is highly intelligent. He has Intelligence of 22 and wisdom of 3.

#von karma fan family #this is werewolf au too #gandulf von karma #i still keep misspelling his name as *gundalf* #which is not him; that's gandalf with a gun

[kelpiegry-art]

Found some face claims for some of my characters, so I could paint some more realistic portraits 🖼

#artists on tumblr #digital art #digital painting #dnd character #oc #dnd art #ttrpg character #portrait #motw character #my ocs #kai #bastian fungus pulmenti snickers #gefion gandulf hamilton #my art #kelpiegry-art #2022

[jimvasta]

You shall pass!

Okay, I'm not Gandulf, but seriously, my trans babies, your day will come (if passing is your aim).

Two and half years on T and one year post top surgery now, and in past month I have had the following happen to me:

Asked if the birth mother of my child was in his life (by his new school teacher after meeting me and my husband) - Yes, I'm a seahorse.

Assumed to be a trans ally at an LGBT+ event.

Confused the hell out of a new GP at my surgery by saying I need a hysterectomy. (I saw the light bulb going on in her mind in real time as she read my notes)

Accidentally impersonated my husband on the phone after someone asked for Mr X, and of course that's me. I only realised after personal documents were sent to his email and not mine.

At the beginning, I thought I would always be mistaken for a butch lesbian - that was life and since I'm bi it wasn't all bad, but it's not good for the dysphoria.

Then my voice made me sound like a teenage boy, then I got fluffy stubble.

Now I have a deeper voice than my cis husband, and the big tough firefighters I work with these days all think I am cis (no, they aren't anywhere near as cute as the calendars make out, but a lot of them seem to think they are).

Anyway, my point is, just because you dont pass now doesn't mean you never will. It feels like a painfully slow process until one day you wake up and people just treat you like your gender.

Try to enjoy the Uncanny Valley stage if you can. Messing with people and fueling their confusion is petty, but it can brighten your day as you watch them realise they is a singular pronoun when they don't know if you are a he or a she and they are too afraid to ask.

Conclusion: I have seen too many handsome trans men and stunning trans women to believe the 'we can always tell' crew, and my daily experience is that an average person really can't tell after a couple of years of medical transition.

The day you look in the mirror and see the real you staring back is getting closer.

#transgender #passing as your gender #uncanny gender valley #trans positivity

[welele]

¿Qué opináis de esta maravilla que han montado en Roquetas de Mar? pic.twitter.com/ELbc9EEkzP

— Gandulf el perezoso (@Gandalf_FFFFFF) March 6, 2024

Eso es que van a sacar el ajedrez 2, ahora para 4 jugadores.

#ajedrez #parchís #fails #w3

[fuckable-old-man-battle]

What happened to gandulfs big naturals :(

If hes going to win, it cant be because of a meme

I just knew all for one didnt stand a chance either way

#not poll

[lumenwatch]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO END THE EPISODE THERE?!?

#also kudos to Helen for funniest comment of the episode with that Gandulf line #but like I am screaming how can you end the episode there? #rqg spoilers #rqg #rqg 217 spoilers #rqg 217 #*Gandalf I can't spell

[hobis-hope94]

~ He Promised Part 6 ~

AN: I was getting concerned that I was making this part worse by editing it a lot, hopefully that’s not the case! Things are gonna get fluffy from here on I promise!!

Characters: Y/N, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of vomit, a tiny weeny bit of angst, TFATWS spoilers & fluff!

(gif not mine)

The drive to meet Sam was comfortable. The sound of your playlist was singing through, you had different playlists for different moods.

Today, you settled on country songs considering you were driving and each song fitted the drive. Bucky smiled slightly as he saw your thumb tap the side of the driving wheel in rhythm to the current song playing.

“What’s your ideal first date?” Bucky asked gently.

“Hmm. Well. I like the idea of a picnic date. Then a walk and maybe stargazing,” you said, smiling softly as you came to a red light.

“Noted,” Bucky said, pretending to write something down, you rolled your eyes with a smile and turned your attention back to the road.

“You asking to make our first date perfect, Barnes?” You teased as the light turned green again and you got ready to set off.

“Well. I’ve taken girls on dates before, so I’m not nervous or anything,” Bucky shrugged, you shook your head giggling, “but I’ve never known I wanna spend the rest of my life with a girl before.” He added.

He turned bright red as the car went completely silent. You weren’t sure how to respond.

You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him too, but after the last time somebody made that promise, he ditched you the first chance he got.

You couldn’t go through that heart break again, not after you’re just beginning to feel better. Bucky of course, understood how you’d feel about marriage, after the broken promise his best friend made you.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that last part out loud,” Bucky said noticing you had gone quiet as you pulled up to park since you had arrived.

“It’s alright, Bucky. L…let’s just see how the first date goes, and we’ll take it from there, yeah?” You asked gently, Bucky nodded.

Silence, it was awkward.

“Besides. You might find out that I have a horrible laugh, or I might eat too loudly or I might get too needy when I’ve had too much to drink,” you tried to joke, to make the situation lighter.

Bucky merely smiled, he felt horrible. You felt horrible. Silence, it was horrible.

“Well, Buck. We better get going or Sam will be getting impatient,” you said, quickly taking your seatbelt off and jumping out of your car.

Bucky ran his hands over his face and sighed and got out of the car too. You two walked in silence as you went to meet Sam, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

Bucky wanted to talk, he wanted to hear you laugh and see your smile but he made things awkward between you two and he hated himself for it.

“Hey! Buck! Y/N! You made it!” Sam greeted you both.

“Bucky,” Bucky growled at Sam, making you roll your eyes.

“Hiya Sammy,” you said, pulling him into a tight hug.

He hugged you back, he noticed the bruise on your cheek from what happened the other night.

“Christ … Y/N. What happened?” Sam asked, concerned.

You felt Bucky tense beside you as you lifted your hand over your bruise.

“Oh this? It’s nothing. I got it in a fight. If you’re concerned about this you should see the other guy,” you said, Bucky tried to hide a grateful smile, you were glad to see his playful attitude coming back.

“Well, that wouldn’t surprise me,”

Sam chuckled. “I’ll fill you in on the way to the Quinjet,” he added gently, you nodded and followed.

Bucky and Sam began arguing almost straight away, you rolled your eyes and sat in amusement as the two bickered.

“Our trilogy is wizards, aliens and robots,” Sam said.

“So what we’re fighting Gandulf now?” Bucky asked, you snorted at Sam’s surprised face.

“I … how’d you know about Gandulf?” Sam asked, as you had to clutch your side from laughing so hard.

“I read The Hobbit. When it first came out in 1937,” Bucky smirked. “Also Y/N and I watched the film the other day.” He added, still smirking.

Sam turned to you. You shrugged innocently.

“I’m gonna regret asking you both, aren’t I?” Sam sighed.

“Oh Sammy. You couldn’t live two seconds without your favourite girl and your favourite cyborg!” You teased as you patted his shoulder and skipped to the jet.

——

You woke up from an uncomfortable position. You were using Sam as a pillow, but in his sleep, he moved a lot and you were struggling to stay asleep. You were awoken by Sam accidentally shoving you off him, you huffed.

You turned your head to see Bucky hadn’t even tried to sleep. He was sitting up, playing with his hands.

You sighed, stretched and went over to him.

“Scooch,” You said gently.

Bucky moved up slightly and you sat down next to him yawning.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” You whispered.

“I don’t want to alarm anyone due to my nightmares,” Bucky said simply.

“Buck, you’re human. You’re shattered. You need sleep,” you said gently.

Bucky shook his head, you sighed.

“Y’know, for someone who’s 106yrs old, you really do behave like a child sometimes,” you teased, nudging him softly, Bucky chuckled gently.

“Buck, seriously. If you don’t get any sleep, you’ll lose focus if we need to fight. Then you could get hurt,” you said gently, hesitating to rub his back, knowing that calms him down.

When you knew you were allowed to touch him, you gently made soft circles on his back. He gladly lent into your touch, you smiled softly as you saw his eye lids getting heavy as he attempted to fight sleep off.

“Rest, baby. Just rest. You need sleep,” you said softly.

Bucky forced back a yawn and shook his head.

“James,” you said firmly.

“Alright, fine Mom,” Bucky said sarcastically, smiling to show he wasn’t annoyed.

Carefully he rested his head on your shoulder, you wrapped your arm around him and held him close.

“Fun first date, huh?” Bucky yawned.

“This is NOT our first date, Barnes,” you said pinching his arm only to be greeted by the fact you had pinched his left arm and it hurt you more. “I forgot you’re half cyborg,” you teased, placing your hand gently back down on his metal arm.

“Serves you right for trying to hurt my delicate soul,” Bucky smirked as his eyes began to flutter shut.

“I sometimes really hate you,” you teased, resting your head on top of his.

“You love me too much to hate me, doll,” Bucky teased tiredly.

You were about to comeback with a fantastic sarcastic comment when you soon heard gentle snores coming from Bucky, you smiled softly.

Your hands continued to make gentle circles on his back. Sam sighed and woke up to find Bucky wrapped in your arms.

“Awh the tin man has feelings,” Sam teased quietly.

You shot your head up, with the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Bucky, you put your index finger to your lips.

“Make one noise or a snarky remark, Wilson and I’ll throw you off this jet WITHOUT your wings,” you whispered, Sam threw his hands up in defence.

“Yes mam,” he said.

You smirked, knowing full well you had both men wrapped around your little finger.

“He’s comfortable around you,” Sam whispered, causing you to smile a little. “He hates me, doesn’t he?” Sam asked, very quietly.

“No, no, Sammy. He doesn’t hate you. You know how he is, he’s just stubborn,” you said just as quietly.

You moved your hand from his back to gently run your hand through his fluffy hair. Your cheek rested on his head as he stayed asleep.

“Do you hate me?” Sam asked slowly.

“Oh Sammy. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. You’re like a brother to me, you know that,” you said gently. “The only way I could ever hate you is if you told me Ross should have ended up with Emily instead of Rachel,” you joked.

Sam laughed then sighed.

“We haven’t been in touch since I asked you to attend Steve’s memorial,” Sam sighed, “and I really hate myself for sending you his letter.” He added.

“Hey, don’t be. That letter gave me the courage to move on,” you said softly and honestly, “it made me realise that Steve actually loved me but … but it also made me realise that he didn’t love me enough to stay with me and keep his promise. So I guess its his loss, right?” You added gently.

“You’re very much right there, Y/N/N. I’m glad to see you’re turning back to your normal self again, buttercup,” Sam said gently, smiling at you.

You smiled too, you were honestly so thankful you were beginning to feel okay and starting to forget that Steve broke your heart. He wasn’t on your mind as much anymore, which you were very happy with.

You could also think about only the happy memories you had of him if you wanted to think about him, which some days you did want to think about him, but now those days are very rare.

You were also accepting that you love Bucky. You wanted to be with Bucky, and Bucky loved you and wanted to be with you. So you were happy.

“I regret telling him to sleep y’know,” you said softly, moving your hand back down to his back.

Sam chuckled.

“Can’t feel your shoulder?” Sam asked.

“I can’t feel my entire left side of my body,” you said, your back aching and your shoulder numb from the weight of Bucky Barnes.

Sam chuckled softly.

“Well, its your fault for telling him to sleep,” Sam said gently, standing up and stretching.

You watched in envy as Sam stood up and stretched, he noticed, so he milked the stretch.

“Ahhhh! Man that feels good!” He teased, doing it in different positions.

“I’m gonna kill you, Wilson,” you hissed, smiling.

Sam smirked. Bucky finally woke when it was time for the jet to land.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” you said gently as he woke.

“Y/N?” Bucky said, his voice raspy.

“Good sleep, Sarge?” You asked, quickly standing up and stretching.

“Yeah … best I had in a long time,” Bucky said, yawning slightly, rubbing his eyes.

“God he’s adorable,” you thought as you softly watched him slowly wake up.

“I’m glad,” you said gently, he did look … refreshed. “Sammy says we’re landing soon, so get your ass up,” you added gently.

You took off with a little skip in your step making Bucky smile gratefully after you. He followed suit.

——

“We’ll wait until we land,” you said firmly, noticing the gleam in Sam’s eyes.

“Fat chance that’s happening. Grab hold, Y/N and don’t let go,” Sam said, grabbing you by the waist.

“No … don’t you dare Wilson!” You screamed trying to wiggle free.

He was too strong, he had a hold of you. You knew what he was gonna do, you pleaded with your eyes at Bucky. Sam smirked.

“See ya on the ground, Barnes!” Sam said.

“No!” You yelled.

Sam jumped off the jet with you in his arms. You screamed and clung to his neck for dear life.

“I’M GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE! I DONT WANNA DIE LIKE THIS!” You screamed as Sam laughed as he flew through the air.

He gently put you down, you looked at him with fury. You had turned very pale. As you went to open your mouth to shout abuse at your best friend, you clasped your hands over your mouth, bent over and got sick in some bush.

“Yeah. Happened to me first time too,” Sam teased as you stuck your middle finger at him as you threw up.

“I swear to god Sam, when all this is over I’m going to beat your ass!” You said, wiping your mouth as you stood up.

You rolled your eyes as Bucky crashed into Sam and they rolled around on the ground.

“Y/N!” They both yelled at you as you took a picture of them.

“That one’s for the fridge,” you teased as both men stood up in a grump.

You knew Bucky jumped out of the plane without a parachute.

“Did You land really cool like in the movies?” You asked.

Bucky huffed at you and walked ahead.

“I don’t think he did,” you giggled at Sam, who nodded in agreement.

You three made your way to the location.

Bucky felt a little happier knowing that you were still yourself around him, he felt happier knowing he hadn’t royally fucked things up by what he said. You felt the very same.

You were excited for this new chapter in your life, you couldn’t wait to get started.

—-

Tag list:

@wxnter-sxldier-deactivated20210

@jackiehollanderr

@jessyballet

@amyvandijk

#bucky barnes #sam wilson #bucky x reader fluff #bucky x reader angst #new writers corner #my writing #mcu #marvel #sebastian stan #anthony mackie #Sam Bucky Y/N #avengers

[sauronnaise]

Frodo: I lost my heat stroke virginity!

Gandalf: You what?

Sam: We went to Mordor.

#tolkien #shitpost #incorrect tolkien quotes #crack #incorrect lotr quotes #the lord of the rings #frodo #sam gamgee #samwise the brave #gandalf #gandulf #olórin #middle earth #mordor #blame it on sauron #the return of the king

[idasessions]

Margaret Fisher photographed by Rob Altman; October 21st, 1974

Margaret and country-rock pioneer Gram Parsons dated while attending the same high school in Winter Haven, FL, during the early 1960s. They decided to stay friends after finishing school and into Gram’s music career for the next decade. In September 1973, Margaret and Gram rekindled romantically after the songwriter separated from estranged wife Gretchen Carpenter. On the 17th-19th, Margaret accompanied Gram and some friends on a road trip to Joshua Tree, CA, where the musician would prematurely die. Margaret was the first person to notice something was off with Gram’s unconscious state after he took some morphine following 6 shots of tequila earlier in the night. The young woman successfully revived him for nearly an hour with an ice cube enema, until he fell unconscious again and failed to wake up the second time. Margaret also previously attended the ill-fated Altamont Music Festival in December 1969, where Gram’s band the Flying Burrito Bros were one of the few acts to have a peaceful crowd. She’s also featured in Gandulf Hennig’s documentary Fallen Angel (2004).

#margaret fisher #gram parsons #the flying burrito brothers #the byrds #the fallen angels #flying burrito brothers #groupies #robert altman #musesandgroupiesseries

[magpie-69]

🙄 Whatevs, Gandulf! 🤷 I'm just saying a good morning to my friends & followers 😁

🤗😘🥰

💜🙏💜

Love, 'Pie xxx

13th March '22

[squadron-of-damned]

Could Kiki verily pretty please know if you ever plan to pick up Karma Christmas again? I was going to ask more about until I checked a few days older posts saying that whilst it is a WIP, you do not plan to continue writing it. The way Tolpen wrote the characters (not just the ones we were introduced to) feelt charming and natural, so it is only normal to want to see more of it.

Currently it is not in my immediate plans. I would like to finish it someday. give it some polish. Possibly make Gandulf less of “howls at random” person. Gently prod Dorky about Friedrich to get him more accurate (I am somewhat dense in matters of feelings and social cues, but Dorky might not appreciate getting a questionnaire form to fill out for me. Or maybe the questionnaire would be for the best, because it gets all out at once?).

First I want to finish Angelus Ex Machina, a “hey let’s make TGAA Enoch Drebber’s life suck more”. And potentially also finish Death and Consequences. And give an overhaul to Hellmark Vignettes, because I was an idiot and did illogical things there, and I have this shiny sparkling new story that is very mich just a vibe, it’s for Apothecary Diaries. And I want to start writing lriginal stuff again, but honestly I might do the Karma Christmas before it comes to that.

[kelpiegry-art]

Random outfit generator warm-ups 👕🎩🧦

#artists on tumblr #digital art #dnd character #oc #my ocs #gefion gandulf hamilton #morgana bologna #my art #kelpiegry-art #art prompt #outfit meme #random outfit generator

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball or any of the characters.

"MOTHER FUCKING SATAN! RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE!"

Those were the words Bulma had chosen to yell as she dodged a barrage of missiles from General White's own Zen-Rockets. The missiles had been fired from under a protective blanket of lava, which kept the missiles from causing damage to the real, living creatures within it. She was moving too fast to avoid the first few missiles, which missed completely by a wide margin. Some of the missiles followed their own trajectories, but those were easily evaded by her reflexes and intense concentration.

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU PUT ALIENS IN MY FUCKING BATHROOM, BITCH!" bellowed General White. The two beasts, standing upright on their hind legs, in bright orange overalls, looked directly at him. General White had never before seen aliens. They had long sleek bodies, relatively short snouts, and broad heads slightly flattened at the sides. The two wide beaks contained several rows of small and triangular teeth. Their eyes were in the shape of little round cat-eyes.

"My name is Boo Radley. And you are about to die."

"YEAH, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE BITCH."

"What?" said General White. "What do you mean, 'you're about to die?' That's not what I—"

"BOO RADLEY IS GONNA KILL YOU BITCH, AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT. HE'S GOING TO LIE ABOUT IT IN THE NEWSPAPER. THAT WAY HE CAN FUCKING LIVE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS STILL."

White started to say something else, but stopped short. The force field holding up the lava blanket had started to crack, and the monsters were now able to see right through it.

"OOOHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING THAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

"WHITE!"

"GET DOWN! GET DOWN!"

Prince Vegeta was running from the falling stone archway. He pulled himself out of the sudden rush of air and quickly realized he was completely naked, with only his diamond-studded gi on him. He turned around and saw what was blinding him. There, in the center of the rooms confusing chaos, was the form of what appeared to be a gigantic naked man. It was about 6 feet tall and covered in bright red hair. Its eyes were two different colored circles glowing in different intensities. It looked like something out of a children's cartoon, but no, it was real.

"I AM GOL GANDULF. YOU WILL DIE FOR YOUR SINS! YOU WILL DIE FOR SHAMING AND HATRED AND ETC!"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" asked Vegeta. The giant naked man's voice was filled with a deep growl. The giant naked man pointed to himself.

"I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTIEST OF ALL BEINGS. I AM … THE GOL GANDULF. I AM … GOD!"

"What?"

"I AM … GOD!"

"Well, fuck."

Krillin woke up. He was lying on his couch, staring at his gi.

"What the fuck?" he said to no one in particular. He looked over at the clock on the wall, which was now 13:50. He looked over at the TV, which was on, and showed no interest. He got off the couch and walked over to the fridge, which was by the door. He pulled a bottle of beer out and opened it. The beer was pretty good, although it did no favors for his hangover. He drank some of it, then went back to the couch and closed his eyes.

His laptop was on the floor by the couch, next to a giant stack of paper. He picked up the laptop and put it in his lap. He looked at the screen.

"Huh. Now it's not so bad," he thought, "but I wonder if there's a button that will rewind this program back to my first choice?"

#original fiction #floornight