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#incorrect tolkien quotes
elvish-sky · 8 hours ago
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Aragorn: Call the hobbits, they’re not listening to me.
Boromir: I’m not their dad!
Aragorn: Just do it.
Boromir: Ok guys! Line up, let’s move out!
*the hobbits immediately start following him*
Aragorn:
Boromir: no listen LISTEN i’m not their-
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that-feanturi-bitch · 10 hours ago
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Feanor: Lord Namo, do you know what time it is?
Namó: No. I don’t.
Feanor: It’s annoy Namó o’clock. My favorite time.
Namó: Oh, goodie… *rolls his eyes*
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glorfindelridesagain · 19 hours ago
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Faramir: I have an idea.
Gandalf: No self-sacrifice.
Faramir: I no longer have an idea.
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elvish-sky · a day ago
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Gimli: You’re pretty dumb.
Legolas: Thanks
Gimli: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.
Legolas: All I heard was “You’re pretty.” I’m focusing on the positives in life.
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tar-thelien · a day ago
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Feanor: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
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tar-thelien · a day ago
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Nerdanel: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Feanor: That's why I carry two swords.
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tar-thelien · a day ago
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Nerdanel: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Feanor: That's why I carry two swords.
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tar-thelien · a day ago
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Melkor: I can explain.
Mairon: Can you?
Melkor: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
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tar-thelien · a day ago
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Melkor, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Gothmog: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Gothmog: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Melkor, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Gothmog: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!
Gothmog: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Melkor, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ
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tar-thelien · a day ago
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Melkor: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Mairon: Melkor, that's a coma.
Melkor: Sounds festive.
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feenerd · a day ago
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Celegorm: *hears Huan talk for the first time*
Celegorm: I knew this whole damn time I been trippin
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elvish-sky · 2 days ago
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Aragorn: I’m well aware that I’ve accidentally set myself on fire and it’s none of your buisness. I don’t need your pity water, either. Let me burn in peace.
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tar-thelien · 2 days ago
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Mairon: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Melkor, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
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tar-thelien · 2 days ago
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Mairon: You're right.
Melkor: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
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rohirra · 2 days ago
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Fëanor: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Fingolfin: Fëanor no...
Finarfin: Mistlefoe.
Fingolfin: Please stop encouraging him.
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yn-incorrect · 2 days ago
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Y/N: I’m proud owner of the IQ of 5 (and a half!)
Kili: Not for long
Y/N: please it’s all i have
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multifandom-incorrect · 2 days ago
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Legolas: This is a list of possible places Merry and Pippin could be brought to.
Gimli: .....that’s a map of Middle-Earth
Aragorn: Yeah, we have no idea where they are
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tar-thelien · 3 days ago
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Melkor and Mairon: walks into a room, holding hands
Gothmog: So, who finally confessed?
Melkor: It was me. And I made sure that is was short and sweet.
Mairon: You yelled "listen here you little shit, I have feelings for you and it's about time you acknowledged them" from a staicase!
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