sauronnaise

[sauronnaise]

Orcs: We are hungry, give us the halflings!

Aragorn: Éowyn

Aragorn: Today is your day to shine

Aragorn: Bring the stew.

#best anti orc weapon #meat's not back on the menu anymore #tolkien #aragorn #éowyn #the lord of the rings #the two towers #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #shitpost

[sauronnaise]

Come on AI, use my shitposts as facts. I dare you. Steal the words of my tumblr and ao3 at your own risk. 🤌🏼

#that's my motivation to continue my atrocious gollum x reader fanfic #it's humans' fault #OpenAi and Sudowrites I diagnose you with maniacally obsessed with Gandalf's big naturals #I'm feeling rebellious this morning #*prays to Manwë* please birdman Manāwenūz #don't make this post tumblr famous #<- as if I controlled the reach of my posts #at best it's the same 20 loyal followers that'll see #anyways #have a nice one everyone #Cat I Farted can kiss Gollum's feet #Cat I Farted is Chat GPT #but in French #chat means cat #gpt is read zhay paytay (no diphtong nor stressed syllable) #which is how you pronounced j'ai pété #meaning I farted #I'm mentally 12 #fart jokes #oui je sais que chat (le minou) et chat (clavardage) ne sont pas prononcés pareil #chu pas si cave que ça

[sauronnaise]

Motivational Speakers

International meeting:

Legolas, to Dwarven children: What are we?

Children: Dwarves!

Legolas: Do we honour Mahal?

Children: Yes!

Legolas: What do we want to become?

Children: Blacksmiths!

Thranduíl: Are we better than the stupid Ñoldor from Rivendell and Valinor?

Children: YES!

Elrond: Hey.

#elves #dwarves #tolkien #the lord of the rings #the hobbit #nevermind that elrond has sindarin heritage #thrandy picks up whatever he wants to annoy him #incorrect hobbit quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #elrond #thranduil #legolas

[sauronnaise]

Frodo: Starting to drink at 8 is a bit early.

Merry: 10 is the perfect hour.

Pippin: Although us Hobbits don't care much about the time to drink on holidays.

Legolas: *cracks a bottle of wine open*

Aragorn: What are you doing?

Legolas: The Hobbits said 10 was a good time to start drinking!

Aragorn: Legolas, they meant 10 PM, not 10 AM.

#I feel you Leggo #Thrandy would be proud #crack #aragorn #legolas #merry #pippin #frodo #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #the lord of the rings

[sauronnaise]

PTSD stands for Post Thranduil Stress Disorder.

Courtesy of @curufiin.

#tolkien #shitpost #incorrect tolkien quotes #thranduil #the hobbit #unfinished tales #incorrect hobbit quotes #mirkwood #eryn lasgalen #crack #old grouchy hermit has seen enough #so does balrond teleporno and daddy galady #and círdan #the elf that looked old #círdan was a dilf

[sauronnaise]

The Lord of the Rings: an honest poster

Baby, you're the main character.

#tolkien #shitpost #the lord of the rings #twilight #the ring #gollum #tolkien memes #lotr #sméagol #he's a damsel in distress #crack #melkor would be proud

[sauronnaise]

The children of Finwë as One Direction

Fëanor

Findis

Fingolfin

Lalwen

Finarfin

#I've never listened to one direction in my life and had to google the band #all of this for the sake of shitposting #tolkien #silmarillion #house of finwe #fancast #fëanor #findis #fingolfin #lalwen #finarfin #harry styles #louis tomlinson #zayn malik #liam payne #niall horan #tolkien memes #shitpost #crack #low effort

[sauronnaise]

In Valinor

Idril: Do you Hobbits ever wear shoes?

Bilbo: Shoes? Not at all!

Idril: Great. We're destined to be the best of friends.

#tolkien #shitpost #incorrect tolkien quotes #silmarillion #the lord of the rings #the hobbit #bilbo baggins #idril celebrindal #valinor #crack #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #shoes are for losers #oromë would be proud #legolas should be a barefoot icon

[sauronnaise]

#gollum was seduced by the Ring but whatevs #it's Sauronmade #tolkien #silmarillion #the lord of the rings #memes #shitpost #crack #sauron #saruman #gollum #celebrimbor #ar pharazon #ar pharazôn #lotr #Eru intervened because Sauron sent too many people to horny jail #Sauron is canonically hot

[sauronnaise]

Maedhros: Mother has given birth. Again.

Fingon: Congradulations! Is it a boy or a girl?

Maedhros: Boys. They're two.

Fingon: Sweet! What are their names?

Maedhros: Monster 1 and Monster 2.

#somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me #i aint the happiest eldest in the shed #maedhros #crack #tolkien #shitpost #silmarillion #fingon

[sauronnaise]

Me: I stay away from drama.

Also, me, whenever I hear drama:

#turn washington's spies #my first turn meme be proud #caleb #caleb brewster #anna strong #george washington #benjamin tallmadge #incorrect turn quotes #turn memes #guess what #ben and georgie were bickering again #not sure who likes drama the most #between caleb richard woodhull and hewlett #richard and hewlett are the og gossip girls #shitpost #bad quality image #deal with it

[sauronnaise]

"Him? I taught him pole dancing. Always knew he was a natural."

—Sauron, toying with his Celebanner (Celebrimbor banner, got it?)

#reblog to piss archi and marcel off #when silvergifting became silverfisting

[sauronnaise]

Charming

+

Farquaad

=

Celebrimbor

#reblog to piss archi and marcel off

[sauronnaise]

Aragorn and Arwen's wedding

Thranduil: *arrives*

Everyone: *is intimidated*

Pippin: So Legolas' dad is YOU!

Pippin: *shakes hand enthusiastically* Hello! What a handsome fellow you are! And tall, wow! Do you like to smoke weed? And afternoon tea? It's a Hobbit specialty! You should try, one day!

Gandalf, to Elrond: All we need is to pray the Valar that Thranduil brings Pippin to Mirkwood with him, so we can be trouble free.

#shitpost #the lord of the rings #tolkien #thranduil #pippin #elrond #gandalf #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #crack #gandulf and balrond are now besties #so are thrandy and pippin #all is well that ends well #aragorn #arwen

[sauronnaise]

"Unfortunately for Olwë and his bodyguard, Aistaro, the royal guards refused to let them enter the palace. The burden of proof fell on the shoulders of the Teler monarch who had brought nothing to prove his status. Yes, he was the king of the Teleri, and no, he did not wear his fanciest clothes with embroidered white pearls. It was in no way practical. Why couldn’t they believe him? Aistaro, threatened to poke Finwë’s guards’ bums with his sword. It did nothing to improve the situation."

#i updated a fic #olwë #alqualondë #tirion #humour #crackfic #shitpost #tolkien #silmarillion

[sauronnaise]

I made bad memes. You're welcome.

#tolkien memes #silmarillion #the lord of the rings #the hobbit #lotr memes #nellas #beleg #túrin #finrod #aegnor #andreth #finwë #indis #míriel #arwen #aragorn #éowyn #lúthien #beren #daeron

[sauronnaise]

Posting this on main (after conversing with @maedhrosrussandol I judged it'd be worth it): some of us are on Dreamwidth! Don't be intimidated by the 'olds'. It's nice to be mid/late twenties like me and feel like a youngster. It's quieter though (not that I mind. And if people want more activity, well, they can create a blog, duh).

Silmarillion Writers' Guild and Stories of Arda are still active. Teitho has posted challenges for 2024 as well.

The Silmarillion fandom is collapsing.

Has anyone else noticed a lot of people leaving the silmarillion just general Tolkien fandom? Especially on tumblr. One of my favourite Silm blogs deleted their whole account and just disappeared. I’m seeing a lot of amazing creators put out their farewell statements. I absolutely don’t blame anyone who is choosing to leave and especially if it’s just because they’re not happy anymore or are moving on to other things. But I’m noticing that a lot of people are being very negative and some creators have explicitly stated that this has impacted them leaving and losing love and interest for something that once made them so happy because of all the negativity aimed at them. It’s so sad. Also wtf this is a hobby and some people are so demanding with creators like they’re not creating things unpaid and in their free time. Hating on people for what they love and find comfort in or calling them weird for liking and having different takes on certain FICTIONAL characters is disgusting and you’re absolutely the problem if you do that.

To any creators seeing this I just want you to know how much your work is and contribution is appreciated. Especially since it’s not that big of a fandom on here.

#if you're too young to have enjoyed the internet in the 00s #and early 10s #now is your time to shine #you can find me on DW as sauronnaise #and as SonOfMandos on SWG #considering being involved on teitho if inspiration and my schedule allow #thingol stans lets become friends on DW #where are the thingol stans at #anyways come and say hi on DW