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#for the love of all that is good please credit me or just don’t repost at all !!!! thanks!!!!!!
muldxr · 1 year
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FAITH IN THE FUTURE; LYRIC BOOKLET
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thesecretsofthedivine · 3 months
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Pick a Pile Reading | Messages From Your Future Spouse 💍🪐
Business Carrd 🍶🧺
Paid Services 🍇⭐
Tip Jar 🍾🎱
*Disclaimer: This is a collective reading - take what resonates and leave the rest. If this resonates with you, please show support by reposting (with credit), tipping, or booking with me! :)
*Exchanges with other intuitives/readers are available via dm's
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PILE 1 COLLECTIVE
• I love the sound of your laughter.
• You’ve turned me into a more carefree person.
• Let’s spend the day baking/cooking then heading right back to bed to cuddle!
• I feel like we could never have enough quality time together.
• You’re my favorite person in the world.
• I’m addicted to your scent.
• We should start a family (🐾/👶).
• You’re my lock screen.
• I tell all my friends about you. If you checked my notifications, all you’d see is a group chat roasting me for how obsessed I am with you.
• There is no place I’d rather be than here with you in my arms.
• I like to watch you sleep. You just seem so peaceful and still that it’s intensely captivating. I hope you don’t mind 😵‍💫.
~ miscellaneous: earth sign placements. homebodies. 2 introverts or an introvert & an extrovert. hard-working, masculine qualities in your spouse. wholesome domestic moments.
PILE 2 COLLECTIVE
• I want to drown in the sea of your existence.
• Dedicating poetry and art to you — my favorite muse.
• There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t give to have more time with you.
• I’m afraid of loss/dying, but entering old age with you would make my existence complete.
• Please don’t leave me.
• Can I wake you up early if I’m craving your attention? It’s hard for me to contain my excitement when you look this beautiful/attractive.
• Let’s watch the sunset together and stay up late talking for hours.
• Every detail of your existence does not go unnoticed by me.
• We were meant to love each other in this life/I know that we are past life lovers who have found one another again.
• Come on, baby. Don’t be shy with me.
~ miscellaneous: water sign placements (especially scorpio or for their moon sign). 2 night owls or a night owl & a morning person. hozier songs. romantic moments caught on camera/posted online. artist x muse trope.
PILE 3 COLLECTIVE
• You light me on fire with desire.
• I love teasing you more than anything else in the world.
• You’re my best friend and lover, all wrapped into one.
• My heart feels warm and glows from the inside whenever you’re around.
• I can’t lose you. If I do, I’ll go crazy.
• Let’s go for a drive, listen to music, eat food, and forget about our worries.
• I want to be the first person you call when you’re in trouble.
• I will never judge you.
• We will travel everywhere and make the world our own.
• I want to surprise you with grand gestures (especially via gifts or shared experiences).
~ miscellaneous: fire sign placements. ready or not — bridgit mendler. sneaky smirks that make you smile uncontrollably. spontaneous memories or communication. fluffy hair & tan skin features for some.
PILE 4 COLLECTIVE
• Pulling out all my best jokes just for you.
• Give me a nickname and I’ll give you one back.
• How can I possibly deny your charm?!
• Your style is impeccable. Every time we’re in a shop together, I just want to watch you pose in front of the mirror.
• I’ll make you homemade snacks and share my family’s recipes with you!
• Spoiling you with acts of service.
• We don’t even have to speak to understand one another. Mere eye contact is enough.
• You bring out my (good) crazy side 🤪.
• I love how we can always bounce off each other’s energies so well.
• I wanna give you expensive jewelry or items with my initials on it.
~ miscellaneous: air sign placements. a quirky sense of humor. distinct eyebrows. friends to lovers trope (Monica & Chandler came to mind). latin/hispanic backgrounds for some.
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daisynik7 · 5 months
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Sweet Like Honey
Chapter 3: First Vacation
Pairing: Nanami x f!reader
Rating: Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Word Count: ~5.1k
cw: established relationship, fluff, smut – phone sex, mutual masturbation, PIV sex (doggy style, cowgirl), cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, sweeties, baby), use of the word slut (endearing)
Summary: You and Nanami go on your first trip together to a hot springs resort and things get steamy. 
Author’s Notes: Here’s the last spicy side story for A Bento for Kento! This is a repost; I’ve rewritten it a bit to reflect my current writing style better. I hope you enjoy it! Nanami deserves all good things in the world! Divider credit to @/cafekitsune. 
Previous Chapter | Sweet Like Honey Masterlist
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Four months into your relationship, you and Nanami plan your first trip together. The two of you sit on the couch in your living room, digesting the dinner you just ate. There’s a nearby mountain town called Hakone, known for being a hot springs resort with views of Mt. Fuji. Apparently, Nanami has been there before and recommends it. Having never been to a hot spring yourself, the idea of snuggling up next to your boyfriend in a steamy stone bath excites you. That is, until he breaks the news to you. “Hot springs are separate for men and women, sweetheart. We won’t be in the hot springs together.”
You look at him, mouth agape. “Huh, what’s the point then?!”
He chuckles, lifting the back of your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “To relax. You really can’t go a few hours without being beside me?” 
You raise a brow at him. “Oh please. Says the man who made me late to work this entire week because you kept wanting to cuddle.”
Smiling, he responds, “I can’t help it. It’s getting cold and you’re too cute. Anyways, I’m planning to book a room with a personal hot tub on the balcony, so we can still relax together at night.” 
That does sound nice. And it’s not like you are actually upset about the separate hot springs. It’s probably a better idea not to be near each other when naked in public. 
Since the day you two confessed your love for one another, the sex has ramped up quite a bit. And by quite a bit, you mean a lot. With your dear brother Ren officially living in the dorms at Jujutsu High, you and Nanami are together nearly every day, either at your place or his. And with your love for each other growing by the second, it’s no surprise that sex has become a regular part of your lives. You can’t keep your hands off each other. Sometimes, the two of you don’t have the patience to move to the bedroom, so Kento made sure to hide lube in the drawers of each room in both your homes, even in the most unsuspecting of places, like the kitchen and laundry room, which has definitely come in handy already. In the beginning of your relationship, there was still that trepidation of figuring out what each other was comfortable with. Both of you were extremely cautious of not crossing any lines, always asking, “Is this okay?” or “Do you like this?”. After a certain point, you became more comfortable with each other. You feel safe when you’re together. Now, the sex is more passionate than it’s ever been. Knowing he loves you just as much as you love him makes all the difference. This is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. There’s no holding back. 
“Hot tub on a balcony? Sounds very romantic.” You scooch closer to sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Let’s do it.”
“Great. I’ll ask Gojo to help me book it. He’s the one who got us in last time.” He leans forward to nuzzle his nose to yours, grinning. “I can’t wait. Our first vacation together.”
“I’m getting excited just thinking about it.” You kiss him on the lips as he cradles you in his arms. 
“What are you thinking about? Are you being naughty again?”
“Of course not! How dare you. You know I’m a good girl,” you say with a coy smile, walking your fingers up his chest to loosen his tie.
He hums. “You are a good girl. You’re my good girl.” His lips brush lightly along your neck. In just a few short minutes, clothes are shed and the drawer next to the couch is open. 
~~~
The week of their vacation, Nanami is sent on a mission to Osaka with Gojo. Not only does he have to spend four days in a hotel room with his insufferable friend, but this will be the longest he’s been apart from his girlfriend since they started dating. 
On the last night, Nanami groans at his phone, staring at a picture of the yakisoba she made for dinner tonight as he eats a bowl of spicy instant ramen from a convenience store. “Remind me why we don’t have any stipend for food?” Nanami asks Gojo, who is happily slurping away at his noodles, cross-legged on the bed.
“Geez, Nanamin. Sorry our agency can’t afford five-star meals every night. Since when have you been such a snob?!”
“I’d rather be at home, eating my girlfriend’s yakisoba than eating instant ramen with you.”
“I’m so glad you said yakisoba and not something else,” Gojo jokes, with an eyebrow raised.
They finish the rest of their meal in a comfortable silence. When he’s done, Gojo stands up to stretch his long limbs. “I’m going for a walk. Be back in thirty minutes.” 
“Where are you going?”
“Just around. I’m giving you some alone time so you can talk to your girlfriend. Take the hint, buddy.”
Surprised, Nanami murmurs, “You don’t have to leave. It’s fine.”
“Seriously, it’s no big deal. Just tell her I say ‘hi’. And remember, thirty minutes. I better not walk in here with your pants down,” he teases, smirking as he opens the door.
“Oh, you are awful,” Nanami mutters before he’s left all alone. Finally. 
Immediately, he dials her number and after two rings, she picks up. “Hi baby!”
He loves hearing her voice. It instantly puts him in a good mood. “Hi honey. How are you?”
“Honey? Are you alone right now?”
“Yes. Gojo went out for a walk.”
They chat for several minutes about each other’s week. Nanami talks about the multiple curses they’ve exorcised and how Gojo has them eating convenience store food every night. She complains about work and her friend’s boyfriend drama, which he shamelessly indulges in. 
“I miss you so much,” Nanami says. He’s sitting up on his bed now, loosening the tie around his collar. 
“I miss you too, Kento.”
“I can’t wait for our vacation tomorrow.”
“Me too.”
There’s a brief silence over the phone, a familiar tension growing between the static noise. She breaks the silence first. “What do you want to do during our trip?”
“Well, we’re going to do the hot springs, maybe a massage –”
“No, Kento. I mean, what do you want to do to me?” He hears shifting on her end. He wonders what room she’s in and what she’s wearing.
He exhales into the phone, reaching for his belt, unbuckling it quietly. “What do you want, sweetheart? I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
“Whatever I want?” she challenges. 
“Yes, anything.”
“Can you fuck me like the little slut that I am?”
“Fuck, baby. Fuck,” he mutters, pushing past the waistband of his pants to release his erect cock. He starts jerking off hastily, picturing her sprawled out on the bed for him, legs spread wide and ready to be railed. “You’re such a slut for me, huh? Always so needy for this cock. Where are you right now?” He rasps filthy words into the phone, all discretion tossed out the window.
“I’m on the couch in the living room, touching myself.” 
“Already? Can’t even make it to the bedroom, huh? You really are a slut. Can’t wait to eat that pussy out tomorrow. Can’t wait to devour you. You always taste divine on my tongue.” 
“God, Kento. Wish you were here. Wish you could fuck me on the couch like you did last week.” 
“Have you been touching yourself while I’ve been away? Have you been naughty?” He bites his lip thinking about her rubbing that clit with those cute little fingers, sliding them up and down her wet cunt. 
“Yes, I’ve been very naughty,” she huffs, voice trembling with arousal. “How will you punish me?” 
“Going to give you a spanking,” he growls, fisting his cock faster, precum leaking from the tip. “Going to fuck you until you can’t come anymore. Going to milk you dry.”
“Is that a promise?” If he listens carefully enough, he can hear the lewd squelches while she pleasures herself, spurring him on.
“You’re such a bad girl, always trying to provoke me. Tell me exactly what you’re doing.”
“Rubbing my clit,” she stammers. “Spreading my cum all over it so it’s nice and wet for you. God, I miss you so much, baby.”
“I know, honey. I miss you too. I miss you too,” he repeats, getting closer and closer to the edge. “Can you make yourself come? For me? Fuck yourself, pretend it’s me doing it. I want to hear it.”
He relishes in her faint whimpers as she masturbates on the phone with him, timing his strokes to match her moans. “There you go, sweetheart. Just like that. You’re doing so good for me,” he praises. He’s close and by the sounds of it, so is she. “Tell me what you’re thinking about,” he says in a low voice.
“Your big cock filling me up.”
“What position?”
“Cowgirl. I’m bouncing on it until you come inside, like how we did it on the couch. It was dripping down my thighs, remember?” Her voice is hoarse with lust, gradually unraveling on the other end of the line. 
“How could I forget?” he smiles to himself, vividly recalling the erotic memory. “And what did I do after?”
She lets out a loud moan before answering, “You put it back in me and fucked me again.”
“That’s right, baby. I know how much you like that.” He strokes his dick in a frenzy, ears hot and eyes shut tight as he approaches his climax.  
“Come with me, Kento. Come with me.” 
At her command, his abs clench as he releases all over himself, painting the bottom of his button up shirt with his seed. He really should have taken this off beforehand, but as usual, they get too caught up in the moment to think logically. 
“Did you come?” Her voice is quiet, her breathing shallow just like it gets whenever she orgasms.  
“Yes, I did. All over my shirt,” he admits, laughing softly.
“Oh no! Baby!”
“It’s okay. I have another one. How about you? Did you come?”
“Yes, I did,” she replies. He smirks, picturing her laid out on the couch, panties around her ankles, that blissful gaze in her eyes. That’s my girl, he muses. 
“You should clean yourself up before Gojo gets back,” she suggests.
Gojo. Shit.
Nanami turns his wrist to read his watch; it’s been at least forty-five minutes since his friend left for his thirty-minute walk. In a panic, he checks his messages and finds three from Gojo that he somehow missed:
NANAMINNNNN coming back from my walk now
never mind, extending my walk another 30
you dirty bastard
~~~
The next day, you and Nanami reunite for your trip. It’s a two-hour train ride to Hakone. You rest your head on Nanami’s shoulder, hands laced together, basking in each other’s existence. A few days away makes you realize how happy you are being with him. As if you had any doubts. 
When the train approaches the station, Nanami lightly taps on your thigh to get your attention. He points out the window. “Look, sweetie.” It’s a gorgeous view of Mt. Fuji in the distance. The hotel you’re staying at is only a ten-minute walk from the station, meaning this is the scenery you’ll have all weekend. You can’t imagine anything more romantic and peaceful than this. 
The hotel is as quaint as you pictured it. You check into the room and settle in before getting ready for the hot springs. Two hours away from each other is a cinch, especially in paradise. You both enjoy your separate onsen experiences, rejuvenated and relaxed for the night to come. 
After a delightful dinner at the hotel restaurant, it’s time to retreat into your room. On the elevator ride up, Nanami pushes you up against the wall and kisses you, unable to contain himself any longer. You fumble on the way to the room, exchanging delicate kisses until you’re inside. He removes his coat, then yours, before wrapping his arms around you in a big bear hug. “I’ve been waiting all week for this,” he says softly. 
You both change into proper hot tub attire: Nanami in swim trunks, you in a two-piece bathing suit. He leads you to the balcony, holding your hand to help you into the spa. The sexual tension is palpable. As you sit beside each other in the water, your muscles relax in the heat. You let your head fall back on the edge of the tub as you sigh, feeling at ease, staying like this for a few minutes. Even with your eyes closed, you can sense Nanami’s gaze on you. Cracking one eye open, you smirk. “Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?”
His hand slides up your thigh. “I can’t help it when you look like this.”
You face him, smiling. “And what do I look like?”
“Happy. Tranquil.” He pauses, leaning in closer to whisper, “You’re beautiful.”
There’s a flutter in your stomach, a sensation you’ll never get tired of. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” 
Your lips brush together seamlessly, his breath warm on your mouth. With your hands on his chest, you feel the steady thump of his heartbeat pick up in pace as you continue to kiss passionately. Your skin prickles with goosebumps despite the surrounding heat. Something about the way Nanami kisses you always makes you tingly.
Straddling his lap now, you kiss his neck while you roll your hips on him, using his shoulders to hold on to. He lets out a guttural moan, making you ride him slower, touching every inch of him as you possible can until he’s undeniably hard beneath you. You want him. You need him.  
Water splashes over the edge of the tub, the waves rippling with each movement. The steam from the hot water is dewy on your skin. He caresses your head, fingers gripped to the back of your head, gently pulling you off so he can meet your lips with his before trailing along your neck, sucking on your skin, claiming you as his. His other hand cups your ass, moving with the rhythm in which you ride him. 
“You’re so good to me, Kento. Always so good to me,” you whimper.
He whispers in your ear, “I want you. I want you around my cock.” His squeezes your ass tighter, his self-control wavering. “Let’s go.”
You hop off and get out first. The contrast of the cold night air on your sweltering skin makes you shiver. When you watch him emerge out of the water with a very distinct bulge in his swimming trunks, you shudder even more. 
“Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?” he teases, grabbing your wrist and leading you back inside. His grip is strong, his pace quick. Seeing him unravel like this is arousing. Knowing how much he desires you in this moment makes you quiver for him.
He takes you into the bathroom, where he starts the shower, knob turned all the way to hot. He releases his hold on you to remove his swimming trunks, his hard dick flopping against his abdomen. The sight resonates straight to your arousal. In complete surrender, you bend over the sink counter begging, “Kento, please. I can’t wait anymore. I need you right now.”
He leans over you, his lips tickling your ear as he chuckles. “Be a good girl and get in the shower. Be patient, sweetheart.” His erection rubs against you, his lips grazing your nape seductively. He roams your back to remove your top, then down your ass, where he slides your bikini bottoms off at an agonizing speed. 
Pouting, you do as he says, slapping your ass as you step over the bathtub. He follows you in, pawing at your waist to pull you close. With a bar of soap, you stand underneath the hot shower, scrubbing the chlorine off your skin as Nanami watches you from behind. Soap suds travel from your neck down to your breasts. From the your peripheral, you see him lick his lips, salivating. When you’re ready to rinse off, you turn to face him, reaching between your legs, tapping your clit. 
“Can’t wait to taste you,” he says in a low voice, the look in his eyes carnal with desire. God, you want him. You want him so bad it hurts, pussy aching to be filled.
Letting the water rinse your body, you offer him the bar of soap. He shakes his head. “You do it.” This is the other side of him. Nanami is usually sweet and gentle with you. Never does he demand you to do anything or boss you around. But when he’s like this, you can’t help but heed his every command. Only you get to see him like this. You scrub the soap on his skin, sliding your hands all over his body. You pull him closer to you, letting the water wash away the bubbles. When you reach down to his still erect cock, he snatches your hand away and growls, “Not yet. I want to fuck you on the bed.” 
Once rinsed off, he gives you a small kiss on the forehead before stepping out, leaving you alone in the shower. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he gives you one last smirk before exiting the bathroom. What is he up to? 
A small groan escapes your mouth, your patience wearing thin. This is the longest foreplay you two have managed to last through. How much longer is he going to keep you waiting? How has he managed to stay this hard for this long without giving in? The anticipation puts you on edge. 
When you’re done, you wrap a robe loosely around yourself, returning to the bedroom to see Nanami sitting up on the bed, naked on top of the covers, watching you. He points to a small, black gift bag propped up at the foot of the bed. “Open it.”
Inside is a black slip dress and a matching lace thong. You swallow hard as you glide the thin material between your fingers, nervous and aroused at what’s about to come. “Put it on. Model it for me.” He leans back on the headboard, palms behind his head, cock stiff against his stomach. There’s a smug expression on his face; you can tell he’s enjoying this. 
You shrug the robe off and wear the dress first. Your nipples poke through the fabric. Nanami bites his lower lip and leans forward to get a better look. “Now put the thong on. Slowly.”
At his direction, you slip on the lingerie slowly. When it’s past your knees, he says, “Turn around and let me see.” With your back towards him, you stick your ass out and lift the hem of the dress to slide the thong between your cheeks. 
You hear him moan quietly. “Perfect. You’re perfect. Come here, sweetheart.”
~~~
She crawls next to him, where they begin kissing, all sloppy and wet. Her hand reaches down to stroke his shaft. He cradles her bottom, fingers feeling for the lacey fabric buried between her ass cheeks.  
“Get on your back,” he orders, hovering above her, marveling at how insanely gorgeous she is. The satin dress accentuates every bodacious curve of her body. He makes a mental note to buy more of these for her in the future.
He slides his hand beneath the dress to rub his fingers on the wet spot of her lacey lingerie. “So wet for me already,” he purrs, slipping past the fabric. “Always so wet for me.”
“Please,” she pleads. He loves it when she begs. Absolutely loves it. It awakens something in him. The usually calm Kento Nanami becomes unhinged whenever he touches her. But when she begs for it, he wants nothing more than to make her feel amazing, to be the reason she squirms in pleasure beneath him.
He slides his middle finger along her folds, gathering as much slick as he can before he starts caressing her puffy clit. She whines under his touch, the sensation too much. She’s been waiting for this all night. Been begging for it. This is her reward for her patience. She grabs the nearest pillow to cover her mouth, but as soon as she does, Nanami pulls it off and tosses it behind him. 
“No,” he demands. “I want everyone to hear how good you’re getting it right now.”
He shimmies down the bed, spreading her thighs apart. With his head between her legs, he leans forward, teasing her clit with a flick of his tongue, holding her panties to the side. She grabs hold of his hair as he presses soft kisses to her clit. Suddenly, he flattens his tongue on her bud and moves it side to side, surrounding every centimeter of that pretty clit with his mouth. Lewd sounds fill the room, from her loud, shameless moaning to the wet noises he makes as he eats her out. He adjusts his position to stroke himself as he continues to devour her.
She’s like honey on his tongue, luscious and decadent. He cherishes every time he gets to do this to her. Usually, she is too shy to let him eat her out. She deprives him of this treat. He’s starved for it. With her like this, spread out like a fucking feast in front of him, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take full advantage of this moment. He latches his lips around her, sucking on it as he lets go of his cock to slide his middle and ring finger into her pussy. He watches her chest fall and rise with shallow breaths with his fingers pumping in and out of her, thumb rubbing circles around her clit. She cries out his name. “Kento!”
“Fuck. You have no idea how good you look right now, swallowing up my fingers like this.” He bucks his hips against the bed, desperate for any type of friction. All he hears from her is a litany of swears and his name. Her moans eventually turn into whimpers. He stops massaging her clit and eats her out again, this time sloppier and more erratic as he continues to work his fingers inside her. The sheets are damp with his saliva and her cum. He’s not sure how many times she orgasms; based on the evidence before him, he guesses it’s at least twice. She’s too busy taking it like a slut to even verbalize when she’s coming. 
When he’s close to his limit, he places one last tender kiss on her clit before releasing her lacey thong; he’s been holding them to the side this entire time. His fingers slip out of her, shiny with her orgasm. The temptation to suck her sweet nectar from his fingers is too good to resist. As he kneels next to her, he leans down to put his face close to hers. Her eyes widen with anticipation, waiting for his next move. With a dark look in his eyes, he licks his glossy fingers, dragging his tongue up and down, savoring it like it’s the most decadent treat. She whines, staring at him, grinding her hips up, desperate to be fucked. He never gets tired of seeing her like this.  
Fully aware of how her slick glistens on his lips and chin, he murmurs, “Taste yourself. I want you know how good you are.”
There’s a dazed expression in her eyes as she obeys, sitting up to kiss him sloppily, tongue lapping into his open mouth then down to his chin. It drives him crazy. Before he comes right then and there, he shoves his hand between her legs and tugs her panties off, admiring how soaked they are, all for him. Because of him. 
Under the pillow is the bottle of lube he hid right after he got out of the shower. He pops off the cap and pours a liberal amount into his palms, coating his shaft. He strokes his cock vigorously, asking, “Are you ready, sweetheart?”
“Yes, Kento. Please. Please. I need you inside me.”
“I know, baby. I know.” He kneels in front of her, aligning the tip of his dick with her slit, entering her slowly, careful not to be too forceful. She’s always so tight, even when she’s dripping wet for him. “Such a good girl,” he whispers, leaning over her to kiss her forehead. 
Halfway in, her body adjusts to his size, allowing him to thrust into her in fluid motions. She wraps her legs around him, babbling. “Kento, fuck. Fuck.”
“So wet for me. You’re perfect around my cock.” Once he’s fully inside her, he kisses her with open lips, tongue licking up her saliva as she moans into his mouth. He pins her wrists above her head, thrusting his hips against her. They make love like this for a while, Nanami relishing the way her body melts around him. He knows what she wants, but he takes his time teasing her like this until she groans out, “Fuck me harder. Please.”
As if on cue, he pulls out of her and taps his fingers at her hips. At his command, she flips over onto her stomach and gets on all fours, pushing her ass out. The hem of her satin dress rides up over the curve of her hips. The sight in front of him is immaculate. He wants this ingrained in his memory forever. “Think you can take it, sweetheart? I’m not gonna go easy on you.”
“Yes, baby. Fuck me hard. Please. I can take it.”
“Good girl,” he coos, placing a soft kiss on her back. Whatever she wants, he’ll give it to her, especially when she begs like this. He puts both of his hands on each of her ass cheeks and spreads them apart, watching his glistening cock slowly slide into her pussy. 
“God, I wish you could see what I see right now. It’s exquisite. You look fucking incredible like this. My sweet girl.” Once he’s all the way in, he grabs hold of her hips and fucks her. Hard. Exactly how she likes it. 
“Fuck, feels so fucking good!” she cries out. Her knuckles are tight as she clenches the sheets. He spanks her as he fucks her, causing her to groan into the pillow with her back arched. The sound of his pelvis slapping against her ass with each rapid thrust is filthy. 
“I needed this, baby. It’s been such a long week,” he grunts. “God, you take it so well. Such a slut for me, huh? Say it.”
“I’m a slut for you, Kento. Feels amazing when you fuck me like this.” 
Grip still firm on her hips, he continues to drive his cock into her, reveling in the way she swallows him up. She turns her head to the side, that dazed look on her face. Her lips are parted as she continues to moan incoherently, drool leaking down the sides of her wet mouth. When she makes eye contact with him, her lips curl into a small smile. “Right there, Kento. Make me come.”
Growling, he hits her sweet spot until she comes all over his cock. She tightens around him. his dick creamy with more of her cum with each thrust. It’s obscene; he can’t hold it in anymore. 
“Ride me,” he demands, pulling out abruptly. He rolls onto his back, watching her climb on top of him. She guides his dick inside her, exhaling deeply as she sinks lower onto his shaft. It goes in easily, her pussy sleek from her multiple orgasms, his own precum, and the lube from earlier. When he bottoms out, she leans over him, kissing him passionately as she thrusts her ass back and forth onto his cock. 
“Just like that. Fuck,” he moans. This is his absolute favorite position. He loves it when she rides him like this. Always so eager and greedy for his cum whenever she’s on top. It makes him feel like a fucking god. He cranes his neck to the side, tugging on the hem of her dress to watch her bounce on his lap. “I fucking love this. You know how much I love this, you fucking nasty slut.” 
“I’m such a nasty slut for you, baby. Only for you. Fuck,” she moans into his ear, riding him faster. 
He’s close. How he’s managed to last this long without coming, he’ll never know. Maybe his stamina has improved after all the sex they’ve been having recently. Or maybe it’s the thought of coming in her like this that kept him under control. Whatever it is, he decides he’s been patient long enough. 
“Let me take over,” he whispers to her.
Her body relaxes. Now, he’s in control. He plants his feet onto the bed and thrusts into her at a rapid pace, holding onto her waist to move her in perfect rhythm with his hips. 
“Come inside me, Kento. Fill me up,” she mewls into his ear.
At her words, he releases inside her, shutting his eyes tight as he rides out the rest of his orgasm. When he’s finished, he pulls out and she collapses beside him. The dress is defiled with the aftermath of their lovemaking, just as he fantasized about. 
~~~
You put your arm over his chest and lay your head against his shoulder. “Wow,” is all you can muster, voice shaky. Nanami just rocked your fucking world, and you can’t find better words to describe it. 
He chuckles, his eyes still closed. “Yeah. Wow.” He takes your hand and kisses the inside of your wrist. “I’m sorry for calling you a slut.”
You giggle. He always does this. “You don’t have to keep apologizing for that! You know I like it.”
“I usually don’t use degrading language like that. I just want to make sure it’s still okay with you.” You can’t contain your smile. He’s too cute for his own good. 
“By the way, how long have you been planning this?” you ask.
He finally opens his eyes and faces you. “All week. Saw the dress on display at a mall in Osaka. I knew it would look magnificent on you. It’s even better than what I imagined.”
“You sneaky devil!”
“I’m only this way because of you. You really unleash the devil in me.” He grins, nuzzling his nose against yours.
“I guess I’m the lucky angel then, huh?”
“You are,” he says, peppering kisses on your face. “My sweet angel. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
After a few more minutes of post-coital cuddling, the two of you wash up again and get ready for a well-deserved sleep. You snuggle each other in pure bliss, looking forward to more vacations with the man you love. 
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Tag List: @chiyoso @bloombb @liliorsstuff-blog
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mrs-bucky-barnes106 · 9 months
Text
☆。.:*・゚ Sweet Nothings 。.:*・゚☆
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pairing: tfatws!bucky x baker!reader
warning: fluff, multiple mentions of cake, mentions of Bucky with children
a/n: Ahhh I had this idea before going to bed and literally stayed up two hours working on it. I finished it this morning, and I've gotta stay I'm proud of my commitment because I usually take at least a month to finish a fanfiction. Hopefully, there's more where this came from. P.S. I'm not a baker, so I'm sorry if I fudged any details. Feedback is always appreciated but please be kind. Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated but no reposting without credit <3
word count: 1.6k
summary: Reader is a baker and Bucky gets a cake from her to take to Sam's picnic party on the docks (scene from tfatws).
☆。.:*・゚
The bell jingled as Bucky entered Sweet Nothings, the bakery you had started from the ground up. He was instantly enveloped by the sweet scent of baked goods from the array of desserts neatly displayed in the glass case by the counter. Underneath the sugar, he smelled the new chai latte you had just added to the menu. It had been an instant hit, totally trumping the one at Starbucks that everyone raved about. Chai had been a nostalgic drink for you and a completely new one for Bucky. He now had an affinity for it, however, and asked for it every time he entered the shop after you made him the first honorary taste tester of the drink. Now, the shop was bustling since it was happy hour.
Soft music played in the background. Bucky recognized the voice of Taylor Swift, one of your favorite artists. She was one of Bucky's favorites now too. You had impeccable taste, and any song you loved became his favorite. The album that was currently playing was Midnights, the one you had told Bucky he was most like. He loved that about you, how you would associate things like albums and songs with him. It made his heart swell, knowing you thought about him in relation to music, which had a special place in your heart.
You were nowhere in sight, so he assumed you were in the back checking on your bread dough. Bucky approached the barrier that led to the backroom for employees and pushed the door open, hoping to surprise you while you were working. Once he entered, he found you bent over your proving drawer, checking on a fluffy batch of bread dough. He tiptoed up to you and grabbed your waist, lifting you off your feet and causing you to let out a yelp of surprise. Bucky spun you around, chuckling at your reaction (what did he expect when he literally attacked you with a bear hug from behind?).
Finally, he set you down on your feet and spun you around to face him. His eyes were crinkled with laugh lines as he took in your disheveled form. Your hair was in a low messy bun with a few strands astray in the front. You donned a cream-colored beret and a blue long-sleeve over which you had on your cheeky apron that read "Kiss the Cook." It was, of course, gifted to you by none other than your doting boyfriend. A light dusting of flour over your entire being gave you an angelic glow. In Bucky's eyes, you looked more heavenly than all of the desserts in your shop combined.
You blew your hair out of your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest before attempting to glare at Bucky. You didn't last long, however, as his sheepish grin caused you to look down, so he wouldn’t catch you smiling.
“You shouldn’t sneak up on me,” you admonished him half-heartedly. “Bakers can be dangerous when startled, you know.”
“Sure, doll,” Bucky still had on that cheeky grin. “I don’t know about dangerous, though. Former assassin here, remember?” He pointed at himself with his index fingers as if you didn't already know. "I think I can handle a blow from a rolling pin." He picked up the nearest tool his hand landed on, which, unfortunately for him, was a basting brush, making his joke fall flat. He sheepishly put the brush away as you tried not to laugh.
You gave him a warning look before turning your back to him and smiling wide. You may pretend to be annoyed by his antics, but they truly brought joy to your heart and brightened up your bland days. You loved your job, but you loved your man most of all.
“I’ve got the cake ready for Sam’s. Just gotta put the finishing touches on it. Did you bring the Oreos, baby boy?”
You turned around to find his face in yours. Had it been anyone else, you would’ve found it incredibly infuriating. But with Bucky, it left you blushing to your core.
He wrapped his arms around you and held up the blue plastic box. “Right here, sweetheart.”
It was a generic nickname that every single boyfriend in the history of the world had called his girlfriend at some point. But somehow, it was almost erotic coming from his plush pink lips with that deep timbre. You sometimes wondered if Bucky knew the effect he had on you.
“Thank you,” was all you trusted yourself to say as you took the box of cookies from him and started peeling off the plastic cover. You moved away from him and carefully placed six cookies on the cake, one on each of the iced rosettes on the border.
“Alright, Buck, I think it’s ready for the party. Lemme just get a box for it, and we’ll be on our way.”
Bucky smiled as he watched you tenderly place the plastic casing on the cake as if it was your baby. In a way, it was, along with all of your other creations.
“Alrighty then, doll,” Bucky grabbed the cake in his gloved flesh hand, then put his metal arm around your shoulders, pulling you in to plant a kiss on your temple. “Thank you so much for making this, baby cakes.”
You turned pink hearing him use your favorite nickname of all time. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you mumbled bashfully, suddenly shy again in the crook of his arm.
“It’s a Sweet Nothing, which means it’s the opposite of nothing. Doll, this cake is quite literally everything to me.”
“Buckyyy,” you playfully swatted him away. Sure, you were proud of your work, but you still got flustered when people complimented you, especially your boyfriend, who took every chance to make you feel like you were the biggest star in his world.
You eased yourself out of his embrace momentarily to hunt down your assistant. “Lemme just tell Nico to take over the closing shift tonight.”
Bucky nodded and waited patiently by the door for you to rejoin him. You returned and looped your arm around his waist to steer him out of your shop.
☆。.:*・゚
Bucky drove the both of you from the bakery to the docks in his pickup. You held the cake securely in your lap with your right hand and entwined your left with Bucky's. When you arrived, you let go of his hand and moved to open the door, but Bucky reached over you to close it again. Then he climbed out of the truck and rushed to open your door.
"M'lady," you rolled your eyes at him but couldn't help smiling as he took the cake from you so you could climb out of the car. He shut your door behind you, then took off with the cake balanced precariously in his flesh hand.
"Bucky! Be careful!" Your cries were drowned out by Sam's nephews, who were happily trailing Bucky at the sight of the cake. They tried play-fighting with him, pretending to punch him in the face, to which Bucky pretended to stagger backward from the force of impact.
You sighed and let the corners of your mouth lift as you watched your lover boy, totally enamored by his way with children.
Bucky ran to the nearest picnic table and finally placed the cake down safely. You let out a breath of relief you didn't realize you had been holding in and walked over to him.
☆。.:*・゚
Bucky returned to entertaining the kids a little while after everyone had eaten. He stood atop a picnic table, talking to you and Sarah with his metal arm extended out. Sam's nephew and his friend hung off of Bucky's arm. You were trying your hardest to concentrate on what he told you about his days in the Navy, but you couldn't help giggling softly at the sight of him effortlessly holding up two children using only one of his arms.
When you could finally steal a moment alone with him, you handed him a beer and tugged his arm to lead him to the pier's edge. You plopped down and let your feet dangle, the bottoms of your boots grazing the water's surface. After a moment, Bucky crouched down to join you. He scooted closer so his thigh was pressed up against yours. He put his arm around you, and you sighed softly, leaning into his shoulder and staring at the setting sun. Nose pressed against Bucky's shoulder, you inhaled, reveling in the warm scent of freshly-cut pine and the sweet undertones of amber and musky vanilla.
You leaned up to wrap your arms around his shoulder, suddenly needing to be closer to him than you already were. He seemed to understand and gently twisted to the side, snaking one arm around your lower back and using the other to bring your legs into his lap. You moved in to kiss him tenderly. Your hands were in his hair, his hands were on your hips, and everything felt perfect at that moment. You could still taste the Oreo cake on his breath, and you broke away from the kiss slowly, smiling all the while. Bucky returned your smile warmly as you turned to look at the sunset.
Bucky watched it paint your face the most gorgeous shade of pink and thanked his lucky stars at that moment. Somehow, life had brought you to him. He had never thought of himself as fortunate, but he was ecstatic now that you were in his arms, and he damn sure was never going to let go of this beautiful thing he had with you. He pressed his lips to your forehead and tightened his hold on you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.
☆。.:*・゚
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sheisjoeschateau · 14 days
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"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | Part X
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⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
CHAPTER X WARNINGS/NOTES: t.w.'s - strong language, more angst, mention of dr*g abuse during childhood trauma, mentions of death and injuries, Max in a coma, fearful tears, shared sadness, major end-of-the-world terror talk. 18+
AUTHOR'S NOTE: As we dive deeper into just how in love Steve and Bauman continue to fall...we also dive deeper into darkness.
We get a glimpse into the childhood past of Bauman Squared.
Steve finally gets to laugh again with his kids -- and with the girl he wants to have his own kids with one day.
Dr. Owens comes back, but it's not why they expected. Erica is given the hardest burden of all. Robin & Eddie are the whacky aunt and uncle that everyone needed and basically get shit back on track while being thrown hard news. Argyle is actually just a kind dude. Nancy is pulling away, while Jonathan finally feels the gut-punching gravity of what he is losing. Jopper is still carrying the weight of both worlds.
And surprise, b*tches: DIMITRI IS BACK AND BOY IS HE SOOO BACK.
Lastly: chicken nuggets. That is all.
WHILE THIS IS A FANFICTION STORY: IT IS STILL MY WRITING. PLEASE RIGHTFULLY CREDIT ME WHEN REPOSTING OR SHARING. I DO NOT GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO POST MY WRITING AS YOUR OWN. - MISHA @sheisjoeschateau PROOFREAD UNTIL MY EYES BLED. IF THERE ARE STILL TYPOS, SORRY BOUT IT. 18+
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OH SO WE DO LOVE STEVE | Chapter X
“Why do I feel like this is some sort of twisted intervention?”
Erica Sinclair stood in the kitchen next to Murray as he cooked up something to share with a table of adults and teens — plus her.
“In a way, it is,” Murray responded to her as he stirred his ingredients. 
“...okayyyy,” Erica sassed, suspiciously.  “...then why do you want me here but not my brother or my other friends?”
Murray rolled his eyes.  Erica’s attitude was truly the one thing that could bring Murray’s entire mental empire crumbling down like a tower of cards being blown over by a gust of wind.  He pointed his spatula in her direction.
“Think of it this way, kiddo,” he said through a wry, condescending smirk.  “It’s like getting invited to sit at the adults’ table instead of the kids’ table for thanksgiving.  And you’re the only one we’re inviting before you get to go up there and hang out with your little friends.  Alright?”
Erica narrowed her eyes.  “What do I need to know that they don’t?”
Sauce dripped from the spatula as he stared at her.  Christ, she was relentless.  Then again…at least she seemed somewhat perturbed by the idea of knowing things before her brother and their friends.  That was pretty damn selfless for Erica Sinclair.  She cocked an eyebrow at Murray — who squinted back at her.
“Okay, why are you not as willing about this as I thought you’d be…”
“Look,” Erica said, crossing her arms.  “If I’m going to be made to keep a secret?  I need to know all the facts first.  Especially if I have to keep it from my brother.  And Steve.  And Bauman.”
Murray sighed through his nose.  She was right.  Mature, and right.
“I don’t want you to keep it a secret for good,” Murray clarified, speaking slowly.  “I just — we just need you to be made aware of some things before we bring it to everyone else’s attention.  And truth be told?  Harrington needs a break.  So does my niece.  And your friends?  They need some time with mom and dad.  You do, too.  But right now?  You’re the party member in charge of taking on some big information before we spread it to the rest of them.  And quite frankly?  I’m counting on you to help me — and the rest of us — help break it to them.  Got it?”
Erica let all of that land, her guarded expression softening into one of civil understanding.  She pursed her lips, considering this.  Finally, she nodded.
“Alright.  Deal.”
Murray shot her a thumbs up, resuming his cooking.
“That’s really lumpy,” Erica pointed to his saucepan with a soured expression.
“Ohforheaven'ssake —”
__________________________
Robin had taken on laundry duty on Steve’s behalf, knowing that Jonathan intended to talk with him.  Which is why she’d asked Nancy to help her with it, and it has turned out to be a good thing.
Nancy was clearly fraying at the seams.  There was a lot going through her mind, and it was all spiraling fast.  She needed someone to talk to, but none of her options seemed safe. 
She had no idea how or when to break everything she had been feeling to Steve. 
Her relationship with Jonathan was so tense and strained, any conversation shared with him had just blown up. 
And her mom would need to know everything about the upside down, in order to give her proper advice…and at this rate, that option seemed to have no place in this world. 
She couldn’t go to Joyce, because that’s Jonathan’s mom. 
Hopper and Murray were out of the question. 
She wasn’t close enough with Eddie to even consider it. 
And Argyle?  Well, he’d said about as much as he could say.  Far more than what she’d expected, if she was being honest.  
Nancy’s only other option was Robin Buckley.
“God, I swear — the air’s a disease at this point.”
Robin had sat next to Nancy on the porch, carrying the laundry basket.  Nancy quickly wiped a few stray tears, which Robin pretended not to notice – even when Nancy shot her a very forced, tight-lipped grin.
“Yeah,” Nancy chuckled wetly.  “It’s uhh, yeah.  Plagued at this point.  Thanks, Vecna.”
Robin nodded with a smirk.  “Yeah.  Thanks a lot, Vecna.  Fuck you, man.”
That made Nancy giggle, which Robin was grateful to see.  She decided to start off slow, not wanting to force anything.  After all, clearly Nancy was clearly going through it.  And the way she and Robin had started off?  Not great.  Buckley was definitely not trying to push her luck.  Sure, the two of them had gotten along super well as time passed, truly becoming friends while living in Steve’s house.  But they weren’t exactly best friends.  Friends for sure.  But not like Nancy and Barb had been.  Not even close.
“You know,” Robin mused.  “Sometimes, I think back to high school and how…I never really had a best friend while I was there.  Not like you did.”
That made Nancy turn to look at her, curiosity radiating for her bright blue eyes.
“You and Barb,” Robin explained.  “You two were thick as thieves.  She always made sure to take extra notes in Click’s class for you.”
Nancy’s eyes shone with melancholy fondness.  “She did…?”
“Yeah,” Robin smiled.  “Always.  Saved them on little flashcards and everything.  She was always like, ‘I gotta make sure I get this for Nance.’  Or whenever something crazy went down in the classroom, I could tell she was just itching to tell you about during lunch or after school.”
Nancy beamed at that.  She shook her head, grinning widely.  “God, I swear… Barb was like — like that little old lady who couldn’t help but wanna gossip.  Even though she hated drama, she loved it at the same time.  As long as it wasn’t hers or ours.”
“That totally tracks,” Robin snorted.  “What an icon, really.”
“Schyeah,” Nancy giggled wholeheartedly.  “Yeah, she…she was the best.”
Robin watched as Nancy gnawed at her lip, feeling the wave of sadness wash over her.  
“I just wish…” Nancy murmured, voice shaky.  “Just wish that I could…talk to her sometimes, you know?  Not just to tell her how sorry I am.  For everything that happened before she…”
Nancy’s voice trailed off.  Robin dared to reach over and touch her shoulder, relieved when Nancy didn’t push her away or tense underneath her touch.
“I just wanna ask her questions,” Nancy’s voice shook.  “So many questions, like…like the way we used to.  As best friends.  About — everything.  Life, family, love…friends…the end of the fucking world…”
Robin nodded.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I know.”
Because Robin did know.  Whenever she had become best friends with Steve, it had made her world significantly brighter.  Her heart was full, and her soul had been lifted out of its constant anxiety-ridden state.  Robin had been so closed off to bonding with anyone, especially the likes of Steve Harrington.  Little did she know, that guy would end up being her truest best friend and confidant.  The one she could lean on, tell anything to and count on for the rest of her life.  However short that might be, given the end of the world… But she had Steve by her side, trusting him with every secret she had and her literal life in his hands.  
Barb had been that for Nancy.  But she was gone.
“I don’t know what to do,” Nancy’s voice cracked.  She looked over at Robin with tear rimmed eyes, fighting them from falling as she bit down on her trembling lip.  “About…anything.”
Robin kept listening, wanting so badly to go on a rant but willing herself not to.  Because right now, it’s Nancy who needs to rant.  She needed to ramble until she couldn’t anymore.
“I’ve been so…God, I’ve been so in love with Jonathan since we met and…got through all of this together.  It just…just...worked.  Clicked, made sense.  Way more sense than Steve, but — but Steve and I, we…what we had was…it was real.  Really real.  Even Barb saw it, she just — just didn’t want me getting hurt, or…losing myself for a guy.  But I didn’t really.  Steve never pushed me to do anything that I didn’t wanna do, or…wasn’t ready for.  Ever.  Not once.  He was kind to me, and…and I feel like…like I just… I think I’m the one who did wrong by him.  Not the other way around.  All because I just felt so…lost, and conflicted, and scared, and unsure, and…and…”
Nancy curled in on herself, tears falling down her cheeks as she ducked her face out of sight.  But Robin scooched closer to her, enveloping her into a comforting embrace as she wept.  And Nancy let her, allowing herself to lean against her.
“I told him what we had was bullshit and it wasn’t,” Nancy cried bitterly.  “It wasn’t, he's not -- I was just…so fucking mad that Barb was gone.  And it was easier to blame Steve, all because he wasn’t hurting the way that I was.  The way that I still am.  But that’s — that’s n-not — b-because he d-doesn’t…c-care…”  
Nancy’s shoulders convulsed, and Robin’s heart broke for her as she held her tighter.
“B-but Jonathan had lost Will, so h-he…he got it.  H-he knew wh-what I was…going through… And I-I j-just felt...so r-right with him.  Because l-looking at him didn’t remind me of…of…”
Nancy choked on a sob.  
Robin knew she meant Barb.  She didn’t have to say it.
“I’m angry.  For me, for Barb, for Steve, for Jonathan…my mom, dad, Mike…everyone.  All the time.  And I just d-don’t know what to do, because…Jonathan shut me o-out, and w-wanted to b-break up with m-me all because he felt like…he was…holding me back, and wouldn’t just t-talk…to me…and then S-Steve… Steve, h-he wanted me back b-but now…h-he…he loves…he loves…”
Nancy ugly cried into her palms, muffling the noise so that it wouldn’t be heard from anyone inside.  Robin clung to her, rocking them back and forth with some gentle, soothing shushes.
“He loves her, Robin,” Nancy cried, heartbreak and anguish lacing her voice.  “He loves her, and s-she loves him back.  S-so much…b-better than I d-did…and I…I should be…so h-happy for him.  And h-her, but I just…I just…wonder if I…did I…did I m-mess up…?  Did I lose the p-person I was s-supposed to b-be with?  I just didn’t…think he’d…move on…and that’s so…fucking SELFISH of me…”
Robin squeezed her.  “It’s not selfish.  It’s human.  Steve is amazing.  But Nancy…it’s okay that you didn’t go back to him.”
“But you thought I should,” Nancy leaned back now.  She looked at Robin dead in the eye with bloodshot, red rimmed eyes.  They swam in regrets, sorrows and bitterness.
“You and Eddie both thought that we should,” she said, voice croaked and upset.  “Y-you both…thought that we…shouldn’t have…broken up, or…”
“You’re right,” Robin admitted, feeling bad but deciding it was best to just own up to it.  “You’re right, I did.  We did.  Me and Eddie.  But Nancy…sometimes we’re just so distracted by what seems right…that we can’t see what’s actually right in front of us.”
Nancy looked at her quizzically.  Robin sighed.
“Look, when you left Steve,” Robin explained, taking her hand into both of hers.  “Back in senior year, and you got with Jonathan…you two had your own journey.  You had each other.  Steve?  Steve had no one during his — except for the kids…and Bauman.  Because back then, he didn’t know yet.  He didn’t know about her and Murray intervening —”
“Yeah, I know,” Nancy said bitterly.  “We all know that now.”
“Just hear me out,” Robin pleaded with her softly.  “I promise, I’m with you, alright?”
Nancy stared at her for a moment, finally softening her tense jaw and nodding once.  Robin picked back up, on cue.
“Steve still had a lot of growing up to do.  On his own.  Dustin was the first to reach out to him.  Well, he basically forced himself on Steve.  And Steve needed that.  He’s an only child.  He needed a little brother to give him grief, and boss him around and pick on him.  You have Mike.  Steve didn’t have that until Dustin wormed his way into his life." Robin added with a smile, " ...and his heart.”
Nany thought about that, expression pensive with realization.
“Then Bauman came along,” Robin continued.  “She was Steve’s age… You and Jonathan were off with the adults.  He got left behind to watch the kids with her.  They went through…a lot of shit that night.  You did, too.  But so did they.  They fought off Billy Hargrove.  They protected the kids, fought off the demodogs in the tunnels.  They survived the night together.  You know what that feels like.  You and Jonathan bonded that way.  Right?”
Nancy hesitates but looks back at her, sniffing.  Eventually, she nods again.
“Right," Robin exhales deeply, proceeding. "So Steve… Steve had someone his age to be around, along with the kids.  And that was great.  Because she’s independent and badass, but also really chill and down to earth.  Like, some sort of femme tomboy.  Which Steve lowkey kind of needed, she really was exactly what --"
“Robin, I get it,” Nancy snapped, not wanting to hear about you in a complimentary way.  At least not at this moment.
“No, hear me out,” Robin insisted, giving her hands another squeeze.  “You need to hear this, Nancy, alright?  You know you’re beautiful.  You know Steve has been helplessly in love with you for years.  That’s not even a question.”  
Robin paused, shifting gears again as she refused to let Nancy look away from her.  
“...but Steve had to move on.  Or…find ways to convince himself that he could.  And Bauman?  She was there for that.  She was around, during all his growth.  And trust me – it was ugly.  You have nothing to envy there.  God, the way that they argued?  The way Steve talked to her, honestly?  Honestly.  You would’ve slapped him.  I sure as hell did a few times.  Mostly verbal slapping.  But I hit him a few times, not gonna lie.  You’ve seen the highlights of Steve’s growth.  You have seen the best parts of him, but…but Bauman was there for all of it.  She got to see it all happen in real time, from the second you and Jonathan met back up with them to right now.  And she owned up to her shit, too.  It wasn’t her fault, by no means was it her fault.  But hey, she took the hits.  Many times.  And she still ended up falling in love with Steve, who she swore was the last person who would ever win her over.  Those two knuckleheads were relentless whenever I came into the picture.  Fighting like lovers in a quarrel with absolutely zero history of affection to show for it.  But still, they got through shit together.  They put their differences aside for the kids, and when it came to fighting off the Russians?  She and Steve honestly kept me so sane.  And they kept us safe, too.  Me, Dustin and Erica.  They didn’t get along in the real world, but in the upside down world?  They did.  They didn’t even think twice.  Steve grew into a way better person because of her.  And she opened up a lot more because of him, and the kids.  She didn’t grow up with siblings either.  That’s another thing they have in common.”
Nancy took all of that in with a solemn expression.  Robin let that sink in before continuing.
“I know this is…a lot.  But really, Nancy…so much happened while you were gone.  Those two fell in love over time without even knowing it.  Shit, we didn’t know it either.  That was a plot twist for all of us — including Murray.  Despite what he says, that guy does not know everything.”
Nancy scoffed.  “I know that.”
“Of course you do.  We all do.  He does, too.  Especially now.  Now that his niece and Steve are clearly so head over heels in love with one another.”
Nancy’s heart sank at that.  She knew that it was true.
“I’m not…” Nancy mumbled, eyes downcast.  “I’m not mad at her for falling in love with him.  Or him.  I just…can’t help but wonder if I messed up.  Missed out on someone that I loved more than I allowed myself to when we were together.”
“You couldn’t have loved him more back then, Nancy,” Robin corrected her.  “Because who he was then, is not who he is now.  And who he is now is someone that Bauman has played a huge role in him becoming.”
Nancy sniffed a few times, bringing her knees to her chest and lost in thought.
“Do you still love Jonathan?”
Nancy looked at her, surprised.  “What?”
“Tell me what you’re feeling there,” Robin pressed gently.  “Why is that going wrong again?”
Nancy got defensive.  “Um, what’s wrong is that he clearly planned on leaving me while I was back here being loyal to him.”
“Right,” Robin mused.  “But…what about after he got back?  What happened then?”
Nancy opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t.  She thought about that for a while.
“We just…” she started.  “...we just…moved past it.  We let it go.”
Robin nodded slowly.  “After all you two have been through…knowing damn well that things need to be talked about…you both really thought that was best?”
“He doesn’t ever tell me how he actually feels,” Nancy snapped.  “I’m so sick of it.  I always have to push him to tell me things.  He just — shuts me out.  Clams up, retreats.  He won’t even tell me when he’s upset about something unless I make him.”
“Well then,” Robin nods.  “That’s definitely on him.  But what about you?”
Nancy scrunches her face in confusion.  
“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt either?” Robin asks, unblinking.
Nancy stares at her, not knowing how to answer that.
“I told him that I love him,” Nancy whispers.  “And that I…that we’re fine.”
Robin’s expression softens.  “Do you wanna be?”
Nancy’s face crumbles.  “I…I want…”
Robin waits, not knowing what to expect but knowing that it’s getting somewhere.  
“I want him to love me again,” Nancy cries in despair.  “I want him to fight for me, and — and love me the way that I thought that he did.  That he would.  That he always would —”
Robin holds Nancy again as she convulses with sobs in her arms.  They stay that way for a little while, allowing the dust to settle.  Nancy has said enough for now.  It would all unravel itself more over time. 
Meanwhile, Eddie had told Jonathan to make his way upstairs and talk with Steve.
“You’re on, buddy boy,” Eddie told him with a hard pat on the back.  
So while Jonathan made peace with Steve, Nancy had finally released some of her emotions and confided in Robin.
And now, all the adults were in the kitchen as Murray made some food for the older teens and Erica.  They’d asked Robin and Eddie to make sure that Argyle, Jonathan and Nancy were all going to be present for it, along with Erica before she could go upstairs and join the kids.
So here they all were now: sitting at the dinner table while Murray and Erica served them up plates and bowls of random foods.  
Jonathan had watched Nancy make her way into the kitchen with Robin, newly fresh faced and eyes puffy from crying.  She wore her pajamas now, having taken a quick shower and washing off the anguish from her meltdown earlier.  Jonathan’s heart cracked in two, and it did even more as Nancy went to sit next to Robin.  He stood up, unable to help himself.
“I got you a seat here,” he said, voice shaky.
Nancy had looked over at him, eyes cold and expression blank.
“That’s alright,” she said, voice level and cool.  “We share a room.”
Nancy sat next to Robin, demeanor cool and calm and collected.  She was stiff, but there was a chilling resilience to her that Jonathan had not seen in a while.  It terrified him, making his anxiety spike.  Had he lost her?  Was he too late?
He swallowed hard, accepting it — given everyone else at the table.  Hopper had awkwardly reached for some pepper as this was happening, working in slow motion as he felt really uncomfortable.  So Jonathan just nodded, and Joyce gave him a sympathetic look as she placed glasses of water and tea in front of everyone.
Eddie made concerned eye contact with Robin as he poured himself some water.  Yikes.
“I’ll sit next to you, my dude,” Argyle said warmly, knowing he needed to step in.  Jonathan was grateful for that, but still dying inside as he kept stealing glances at Nancy — who looked anywhere except his way.
Murray clicked his tongue loudly. “Alrighty then. Shall we?”
With a thud, he set down his plate. Joyce clenched her jaw but took a deep breath.
“Lay it on us,” Eddie said with a deep exhale, sitting down on the other side of Argyle. 
“Yeah, what’s this pow-wow and why is it just this group who's on it?” Erica questioned as she stationed herself on the other side of Robin. 
“Right,” Hopper sighed before shoveling a mouthful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and leaning back to chew, readying himself. Everyone waited patiently.
“Here’s the deal,” he began, leaning forward and eyeing everyone individually as he spoke. “No one here is being made to keep a secret. That’s not what’s going on.”
“So then why is it private?” Robin asked curiously. 
“Because right now…we need to set some things straight. Set in stone.  Before we dive into our group meeting tomorrow. Consider this…a board meeting of sorts.”
Jonathan furrowed his brow. “Don’t we want Bauman and Steve for that?”
Hopper sighed deeply, rubbing at his beard. “This affects them. And the kids.”
Eddie raised his eyebrows at that, feeling nervous. He looked over at Robin, who looked just as worried.
Erica scrunched her face up. “Then why am I here?…”
“Because I need one of you kids to be level headed and vouch for me,” Hopper explained. “And for Joyce and Murray. We’ve spent a lot of time figuring this out. Weighed out our options, talked to El about it.”
“Does she know?” Nancy asked.
“Some,” Hopper nodded. “Most… Not all.”
Erica leaned forward, truly listening and accepting that she was clearly going to need to stick with some sort of plan that her friends were not going to be keen on…
Hopper contemplated his next words carefully.
“Look. Tonight, I need those kids to rest. To laugh, play some card games. Eat too much candy, and just have a good night. Soak up all the fun they can get before this mandate goes into effect soon. And before we have to go forward with a plan.”
Hopper made sure that everyone was with him on that.  Off their nods, he continued.
“There’s two groups. One that’ll stay here, in hiding. Down in the basement, where we’ve already started making up basecamp. They’ll have to stay hidden.  Out of sight.  Quiet.  On high alert.  It’s a gamble.  Just because they’ll be home…it doesn’t guarantee them any safety.”
Hopper took a deep breath, eyes filled with dread.  He rubbed at the gap between his pinched brows.
“…the other group will have to risk getting back out there.  And we won’t be anywhere that’s not swarmed and completely surrounded by the government and — god-knows-who-else, before we can get ourselves back near the largest gate that’s torn itself open and is ready to swallow Hawkins.”
Everyone’s blood ran cold. 
No one was safe. They weren’t before, but now? Nothing was off the table. Everything was high risk, no matter where anyone was stationed.
“If you’re sitting here,” Hopper continued slowly, voice grave, “at this table, listening to this conversation…minus Erica and Murray...you’re in Group 2. ”
Nancy and Jonathan both felt their chests constrict, but they understood. It didn’t surprise them per se. And at this point, nothing should scare them. But it did.
Joyce looked at her eldest son, torn but knowing it had to be done.
Erica looked over at Murray, who gave her a soft nod.
Robin and Eddie looked at each other, along with Argyle, shuddering. 
“Dimitri is going with us,” Hopper added.
“Who’s he?” Jonathan asked.
“Russian soldier,” Joyce told him, holding up a hand to clarify. “He’s on our side.”
Jonathan hesitated but eventually gave her a small nod. He looked over at Nancy, who was staring down at the table with her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.
“He’s got insight,” Hopper continued. “Knows what we’re dealing with, and how to handle what we’re all up against.  We’ll need as many of us as we can get out there.  Those of us who know the risks, and know how to navigate this world.”
Robin processed that, thinking. “So that…where does that leave Steve and Bauman?”
Hopper was quiet. The way he gnawed his cheek made it clear that this was where it got messy.
“Steve is on the frontlines with us,” Hopper explained carefully. “…and Bauman is stationed back here with Murray and the kids, along with Dr. Owens.”
Robin’s heart sank, and so did Eddie’s. They both shared a sad, all-knowing look.  They knew this wasn’t going to go well.  At all. They knew that Steve was going to flip his shit at just the idea of leaving you out of his sight.
“Won’t Dr. Owens have a target on his back?” Eddie asked, concerned. “Won’t that — won’t that draw more danger here…?”
That made Robin look at Hopper, wide-eyed. The retired cop looked pale, eyes full of dread.
“He has to be here in case anything happens to Bauman or Max,” he explains solemnly. “Because if shit goes south here…they’ll need to run.”
Jonathan felt sick.  This also meant leaving Will behind.  “But…how? How can they run?”
“That’s where I come in,” Murray chimes in. “Between me and Erica and Dustin, we’ll be able to keep a close eye out for a signal — which Will can help us navigate.”
“Because he’s still connected to it all,” Joyce explains sadly.  “He still…feels it. He senses when it’s near.”
“Which is why he’ll be able to give us a warning,” Murray nods, adding to Joyce’s input. “Since El has to be out there with you guys, we’ll still have a connected source that's here with us.”
“The kids can’t do this,” Hopper adds, tone firm. “Not this time.  El doesn’t count, as much as I want her to stay back.  She can’t.  I know that.” He looks at Erica with parental eyes.  “But as far as the rest of you kids go?  No more.  It’s already bad enough having to risk you all staying here.  But if this is how it’s gotta go down?  You’re staying where there’s a controlled space, with 2-3 solid abort mission plans — which Murray knows from top to bottom.”
Erica hangs her head, but she nods. She knows this makes sense. 
“As for Bauman,” Hopper continues, eyes sad. “She’s not able to get back out there. Between her heart issues and her bad shoulder and ribs…she has to stay put.”
“No, I agree with that,” Robin says, voice full of gravel before she clears it. “But, umm…I’m just…really worried that…well it’s just — Steve, he’s um, he’s —”
“He’s going to have to do this,” Hopper interjects, but not unkindly. In fact, it’s full of empathy and remorse. “He knows the ways. You’ll all need him. His stamina, his strength. He’s strong, good with a bat and can outrun shit.  He also knows what to keep an eye out for, whatever comes our way.”
Eddie gulps, partially because he’s terrified about facing the underworld again…but also because he knows that Steve will be a wreck the entire time he’s gone with them and not with you. And if Eddie’s being honest, the idea of leaving you and the kids behind is killing him too. He’s especially grown to love you and Dustin over the last year.
“This isn’t open for discussion,” Hopper says, voice firmer and tone low.  “Tomorrow, when we have our living room meeting, I’ll be conveying this to everyone…along with Murray and Joyce.  And I need to know I have each and every one of you on our side.  Those kids are going to raise hell.  All of them are.  And this plan is not changing.  It’s either this…or we all stay hunkered down until we rot.  Am I making myself clear?”
Nancy and Jonathan nodded first, quickly followed by Robin and Eddie.
“Yes sir,” Argyle spoke first, and for the first time he genuinely looked aware of just how heavy all of this stuff really is.  Jonathan gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.
“Erica,” Hopper was looking directly at the youngest person sitting across the table.  “I’m counting on you.  I know that’s not fair, but I am.  You’re tough as nails.  You’re gonna have to be that way with your brother, and his friends.  Your friends.  You'll have to be hard...but gentle enough to get it through to him.  I don’t care what you gotta do, you do it.  Whatever you have to say?  Say it.  And if anybody gives you shit for knowing this before they did…send them to me.  Understood?”
Erica looked back at Hopper with the most somber expression.  But she nodded.
“Understood,” she said, voice low.
Hopper gave her a curt nod before looking over at the older teens.
“As for you guys,” he said.  “We all know the shit that just went down yesterday at the fence.  Bauman’s always been at the frontlines with us.  She can’t be now.  And Steve cannot hang back.  He’s got too much strength that we can’t afford to not have on our side of this battle.  And I don’t care if Bauman insists she can do it.  She can’t, and she won’t.”
“And if she gets stubborn,” Murray interjects, voice fierce.  “Tell me.  If she tries pulling a fast one?  You tell me.  Capiche?”
Eddie and Robin quickly nod up and down.
“I’ll talk to him if it gets bad,” Jonathan says in a weak voice.
Nancy narrows her eyes at him.  Since when do he and Steve talk?
“Good,” Joyce says with a sad, tight-lipped grin and nod at her son.  “He’ll need it.”
"I'll be there for him, too," Robin nodded at Jonathan.
“Will we be able to stay in contact with them at least?” Eddie asks pathetically.  “Via the walkies?”
“When necessary...yes,” Hopper confirms.  “We’ll have to be scarce about it.  Selective.  Nowhere is safe.  It’ll have to be reserved for vital communication only.”
Eddie frowned, but nodded in understanding.  Robin was currently biting her palm, consumed with dread and sickening anxiety.  Leaving you behind?  The kids?  Even Murray, who everyone had come to appreciate in their own weird sort of way — mostly because of how much they all loved you.  He was an extension of you.  The whole situation just felt…fucked.
But wasn’t everything fucked?  Wasn’t this entire world so catostrophically fucked in every single which way, seemingly irreparable?  
Was there actually an end to this nightmare?  A world in which the upside down would cease to exist…monsters would go back to their storybooks and dark, twisted fairy tales…the moon would only ever symbolize light within forgotten darkness...and the sun would never hide behind the ashy debris that currently clung to the air, just outside their windows?
Despite how everything looked grim, with seemingly no end in sight…you all persisted in choosing to believe.  Yes.  Yes, this was going to end.
The end of the world was nearing.  It was inevitable.
But it wouldn’t be your world.
***
You never really put much thought into what having a family would feel like one day.
You’d wondered.  Every little girl does.  In young girlhood, there’s the beauty of innocence that protectively surrounds all grown-up dreams that fuel your wildest imagination.  The dreams of never having to go to school, and being in charge of everything you want.  The dreams of being able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.  The dreams of meeting your future husband, and getting to wear a big white, sparkly ballgown as you walk down the aisle to your happily ever after.  The dreams of being a princess in a big castle, ruling the land and having cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and tea parties everyday with your friends.
Sure, you’d had those dreams as a little girl.  How could you not?  It was inevitable.
But as you grew older, you didn’t really have a chance to fantasize about much.  You’d been made to grow up from a very young age.  Your grandmother had been there for you enough.  She kept a roof over your head.  Food on the table.  A very generous allowance, even though you never asked for one and you’d gotten yourself a job by the age of 13 painting peoples’ houses and doing yard work.  You’d even gotten hired by your uncle to do data entry for him, along with a couple of his contacts who did intense investigative research and needed someone to work remotely.  You earned your own living, and you did upkeep on your grandmother’s house — despite her never asking you to do so.  She was gone a lot.  She wasn’t very old.  Just a smoker who liked casinos and taking trips with her “friend” from time to time.  A woman, who she only ever referred to as her "assistant."  You knew better than to believe that, but you never said anything about it.  She was a closeted lesbian — which is why Robin coming out of the closet for you had been the easiest news to take, let alone support.  Your grandmother was a tough, long-acrylic-nails-donning boss bitch who did whatever the hell she wanted.  You’d gone with her many times to some casino resorts, mostly staying in the hotel room or just walking around the city.  It felt like living with a Mafia Mobwife.  It was cool, for the most part.  But it definitely meant being able to hold your own.  She’d raised herself when she was a kid — and in most ways, you did too.
It’s why you’d spent so much time with your uncle, who didn’t live very far.  He was home a lot.  Given his line of work, he didn’t go out much.  He became even more of a hermit as the years went on, and you liked that.  It meant consistency.  His spare room basically became your room.  It couldn’t exactly be considered a “guest room” when he never had guests over.  You’re the only person he invited over for company, and he loved it.  The two of you got along effortlessly.  His dark humor rubbed off on you early on, which your grandmother shared in but she wasn’t nearly as quick-witted as Murray.  That’s where you got it from.  But your dry, snarky wit was much more selectively timed than his.  He was all over the place.  You had solid social cues, given that you went to school and were around people often.  Your uncle was definitely an oddball.  But you loved him to death, and you got him better than anyone else did.
You weren’t babied.  You weren’t coddled, or sheltered, or given false hope about the world.  It’s why you held your own, and it’s also why you never victimized yourself.  It was to a fault, but you believed it was for the best.
So when Clark broke your heart into a million pieces, you told yourself it had been a risk from the start.  A gamble, just like the poker tables at those casinos that your grandmother frequented all the time.  Love was a dangerous game, and it spared no one.  There were winners and losers — and you’d lost this one.
But right now, in this moment, you felt as though you had just won every single jackpot that there was to win.  
Because right now, you were sitting in Steve’s lap on the floor of Max’s room in his big house, holding cards closely to your chest as Lucas screeched GO FISH at Dustin.  Steve’s hand was in plain sight, and if you were a cheater you’d have him beat in seconds.  But you didn’t need to win a stupid card game…because you had won the greatest game of all: life.
El and Mike were cuddled up close to each other, giggling and being young teens in love.  In a normal world, you would assume it to be puppy love between them.  But this world wasn’t normal, and the shit that they’d been through together wasn’t any different than what you and Steve had been through together.  It was real love, and you let them be that way.
Lucas was seated next to Max in her bed, holding her hand and laughing like a kid again.  Dustin was hoarding all of the candy from his backpack (so much for sharing) and laughing like a buffoon.  He bickered with Steve and the kids as usual, but something about it was just so…bright.  Hearty laughter bounced off the walls, and there were so many times that Steve had belly laughed — along with you and the other kids — that you’d all lost count.
Sometimes, you swore that you saw Max’s lips twitch.  As if she could hear you all in her coma, wanting to laugh along with everybody.  Lucas would talk to her as if she could hear you all just fine, squeezing her hand and kissing her forehead while showing her his hand in cards.  Dustin even gave her a sleeve of her favorite candy — just for her.  He might not have basic manners with the rest of you, but Max?  Always.  
Will was keeping score, seated next to you and Steve with the biggest smile you had ever seen him wear.  He laughed hysterically the entire night, even going as far as verbally expressing adoration for you and Steve.  Dustin would pretend to gag, but Will would just tell him he knew better than to think that the curly-haired smart alec wasn’t completely in love with the two of you being together.  Dustin had grinned all dopey and wide, rolling his eyes but not arguing with him any further.  
At some point, Mike suggested all swapping ghost stories.  
Lucas had barked the loudest laugh.  “How about the one we’re currently living??”
“Hey, hey,” Steve interjected.  “I got a better idea.  Tell your most embarrassing story.  One you’re scared shitless to tell.”
You'd grinned in his arms, snickering.  “Oh I got plenty of those.”
“I mean hey,” Dustin shrugged with a mouthful of candy.  “If we’re gonna die, we might as well get real.”
“Okay chill, we’re not going to die,” Steve scoffed, hiding his internal worry.
“It’s possible,” Mike shrugged, grabbing another bag of M&M’s.
Steve huffed.  “Dammit, Wheeler —”
Mike’s devilish grin was infuriating yet endearing at the same time.
“I wish Max could hear all of this,” El said with a tinkering laugh.
You gave her the warmest of smiles and a wink.  “Trust me.  She does.”
“Hell yeah,” Lucas smiled wide, squeezing Max’s hand.  “I’ll even tell one of her stories, for her.”
“...dude, she’s gonna kill you,” Dustin warned him, but there was a smirk lifting at the corner of his lips.
“I’ll go first,” Will announced, laying on his stomach as he ate some popcorn.  “One time?  I was asleep in bed but I woke up because I heard Jonathan moaning so loudly — like, disturbingly loud —”
“Okay, maybe I needed to lay down some ground rules here —” Steve starts with a very tight voice as you snorted into your palm.
“Just hear me out,” Will laughs, holding a hand.  “I thought it was with a girl —”
“William,” Steve scolded.
“But he was in the bathroom,” Will talked over him.  “Shitting his brains out.”
Dustin cackled while Mike audibly expressed disgust while laughing at the same time.  El looked shocked, giggling hysterically into her hand.
“Damn, that bad?!” Lucas roared.
“He lit every candle in the house,” Will cackled.  “Mom went to use it shortly after him and came barreling into our rooms to ask us in a panic what had died up one of our butts!”
Steve collapsed into you laughing, and you couldn’t even breathe from laughing so hard.  It was that sort of deep laughter that’s so painful because it’s quiet before you’re able to finally erupt with loud laughs that help you come down from a high.  All the kids were a fit of cackles and giggles, too.  Erica made her way into the room finally, jumping right into things and bringing cookies with milk.  All of you exchanged stories, allowing yourselves to only cry tears of joy.  It was exactly what you all needed, long overdue.
And for the first time in ages — none of you thought about the upside down, or the impending doom that awaited you just outside of the Harrington house throughout all of Hawkins.
That night, you and Steve tucked every single of your kids into their assigned sleeping bags and cots.  Lucas stayed with Max in her bed, asking you sheepishly if that was alright.  You’d nodded, along with Steve — more than approving.  And given you both would be chaperoning that night in the same shared room, you also let Mike and El cuddle up together in a sleeping bag.
“Hands outside of the covers, Wheeler,” Steve warned him, but he gave him a wink — adding please at the end.  Even Mike gave him a smile and nod, like a little kid who felt called out but also didn’t have any intention of disobeying.
Dustin and Will joked in high pitched voices about being bunkmates with their sleeping bags next to each other, given they were the two singles of the group.  Technically, Erica was too.  But even if she wasn’t, she would still demand her own space.  She had situated herself on the floor beside Lucas’s side of the bed, not planning to give him a hard time for a good while given what was in store for everyone tomorrow.
As for you and Steve — the two of you had stationed yourselves in the center of the room, closest to the door.  That way, you could see all your kids at any point during the night and also be the first to fight off any harm coming your way, should danger lurk on the other side of the locked bedroom door.
Steve ruffled Dustin’s hair as he dozed off, earning a sleepy little “hmph” from him.  After he made sure all of them were comfortably settled in for the night, he crawled over to you.  His nail bat was propped somewhere nearby — ready to be swung into action if need be.  But the need for it that night never came.
You curled into Steve’s chest, breathing in his clean, masculine scent and allowing it to fill all of your senses.  Sighing contentedly, you felt a rush of warmth wash over you as his lips pressed into the top of your head.
“I love you so much,” he whispered.
“I love you more,” you murmured in the softest of whispers.
You felt him chuckle against you.  “Impossible,” he breathed into your hair, pulling you so close to him you might as well be the same body.
And had you not been so completely relaxed in his arms, you might have fought him on it.  The whole "I love you more" thing. In fact you definitely would have.  But you just hummed, dozing off in his strong arms and allowing sleep to find you.
***
Waking up had been beautiful. The sun was even more hidden than usual, plagued by the new world coming into fruition. But despite the lack of sunshine outdoors, you felt as though it shone through the entire room as all the kids woke up and whispered to each other. You pretended not to hear them when they talked about you and Steve. Because if you were being honest? You’d been dying to hear their uncensored thoughts. If they thought that you weren’t listening, they wouldn’t hold back from saying what was actually on their mind.
Turns out?  All of them wanted this. The two of you together.  They laughed about how some of them thought that Steve was going to end up with Robin at first. 
“No way,” Lucas shook his head in a confident whisper. “Those two? They’re like brother and sister.”
“Yeah, but Bauman’s so out of his league,” Mike whispered back.
“She is not,” Will added in a defensive whisper.
“She so is,” Mike whispered indignantly.
“No way, Steve’s awesome,” Dustin defended in a whisper.
“Yeah but like,” Mike whispered, pondering with a sigh. “I mean yeah. He is. I like him. He’s cool. Way cooler than I thought he was at first. But Bauman’s literally a badass. She doesn't care what people think.”
“Steve doesn’t care anymore,” Erica chimes in, speaking softly. She’s actually pleading Steve’s case and it’s adorable.  “He used to. But when we were down there with the Russians? And he had to wear that stupid sailor outfit for work?…”
“Oh my god,” Dustin snickered. “That shit was so funny.”
“He looked like Shirley Temple from the Good Ship Lollipop,” Lucas snickered back, and Will had to shush them so that they wouldn’t wake you up.
“My point is,” Erica continued with sass. “Steve doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks of him now. I mean…he gave her hell the whole time I was around ‘em.”
“I still don’t get that,” Mike whispered.
“Me either,” El added quietly.
“What do you mean?” Dustin whispered in confusion. “I told you guys the whole story. That once upon a time ramble I had to sit through when Murray basically went on to give us an entire rundown on the two of them?”
“Well duh,” Mike whispered in annoyance. “I know that. But dude…she’s…like, she's...”
“Hot.”
Everyone went quiet, and you stiffened as you held back laughter. Because the person who had called you hot?  It was El.
“Bauman is hot,” El repeated.
Eventually someone snorted. Then, they all did. You bit back laughter, blushing into Steve’s chest with your face kept hidden.
“You’re hot,” Mike added to her in a coy whisper.
“No, you are,” she whispered back sweetly.
“Enough,” Erica whispered definitively. 
“Max thinks that Steve is hot,” Lucas scoffed.
“He is,” Erica and El said at the same time.
“Hey,” Mike whined, and they all shushed him.
“Face it, dude,” Dustin whispered flatly. “He is. I wish I looked like him.”
“You look great, man,” Will assured him. “You got a girl like Suzy. You gotta be a stud to catch someone like her.”
Dustin had blushed at that with a wide, dopey grin. “Think so?”
After listening to them chat some more, eventually Steve started to stir. He’d told them good morning, to which Dustin all too happily responded with a very loud good morning back —- making Steve audibly groan and bite back curse words. The kids all snickered. 
Will started handing out drawings out to everyone. You all had been sketching and drawing together in your assigned room earlier the day before, while Steve had been getting Max’s room ready.  Will had told you all to draw a picture of someone else in the party. He’d even chosen who was drawing who.  
Will and Lucas drew each other.
Mike and Erica drew each other.
El and Dustin drew each other.
And you drew Steve, before he joined you all and eventually drew his original art piece of you while you all played a round of the Game of Life.
Here you were now: holding your drawing close to your chest, and wiggling your eyebrows at Steve. He gave you the most adorable smirk, his cocoa brown eyes still a bit sleepy and his perfect hair the sexiest case of bed head. He stretched, toned arms flexing and his white t-shirt clinging to his muscles in all the right places while being loose enough to wanna rip it off of him…
Not the time, Bauman, you mentally scolded yourself.
Steve had reached underneath his pillow to fetch his drawing of you, holding it to his chest and sitting across from you — crossed-legged and shooting you a wink. All the kids mirrored you both, sitting opposite their assigned art piece subject with throaty giggles and snorts. 
Will looked at everyone excitedly, like a proud art professor, ready for his classroom to partake in show-and-tell.
“Alright,” he smiled. “Everyone ready?”
“Yeah, you go first, Byers,” Steve nodded at him with an encouraging grin.
Will blushed. “Oh…well…I mean…I should go last. You guys first. On the count of 3, everyone turn your photos around to your partner.”
Mike snorted as he stared down Erica. “Howdy, partner,” he drawled in a fake accent. El giggled, and so did Lucas. 
Erica shot Mike a wry smirk. “Easy now, cowboy.”
“Bet you made me look like a total loser,” Mike snickered. 
“I don’t have to draw you to make you look like that,” Eric’s said in the most sugary sweet, sarcastic voice.
“Okay snarkbutts, settle down,” Steve scolded lightly in a groggy voice, no heat behind it. “Will has the floor. William: proceed.”
Will saluted him. “Alright. Count of 3.”
“Please tell me you gave me teeth,” Dustin mumbled lowly to El.
“One…”
El shrugged. “I dunno.”
Dustin narrowed his eyes. 
“Two…”
Steve gave you a coy look, asking in the lowest of mumbles, “How big’s my hair?” 
You grinned like a devil, your voice lower. “Not as big as your other best trait.”
Steve lifted a very cocky eyebrow with a deepening grin.
“Three!”
Everyone turned their papers around, and a soft silence fell over you all minus a few little reactive intakes of breath.
Dustin had drawn El with a million eggo waffles in the sky around her. She looked like the most adorable cartoon character, with anime eyes and full cheeks. Her hair was shorter, the way she’d looked back in ‘83 whenever she’d returned. But it wasn’t slicked back. It was free, curly and a little wild. Her smile was innocent and childlike, and there was a policeman in the back waving. Hopper. 
El had drawn Dustin with his signature cap and his big toothy grin — which made him beam, because she did give him teeth in the drawing after all. And in this drawing, there were bubble boxes above him that read all the quotes she associated with him, like Steve! and She’s our friend and she’s crazy! and Shit shit shit shit shit!
Mike had drawn Erica into a comic strip. He showed her as just a wee tike, then at Scoops Ahoy with an ice cream cone, then playing DND. The last image of the strip showed her with her arms crossed and a triumphant smile, with a banner behind her that read Welcome to the Party.  (…as Erica looked at it, she felt the most unfamiliar warmth seep into her bones and the joyful sting behind her eyes sent her into pure shock.)
Erica had drawn Mike on his bike, riding through the neighbor with his backpack and a flashlight. His dark hair blew in the wind, and there was a thought bubble above him with little heads that resembled all of his best friends.  Above him and the thought was a quote: “Mike Wheeler: nerd, snark machine and superhero to all.”  (…Mike felt so emo, he didn’t know what to do with it.)
You had drawn Steve in a very chic sort of hot anime-like way.  It honestly looked like an actual character that existed in an anime universe.  In the drawing, Steve held his nail bat in one hand and a McDonald’s happy meal in the other.  He didn’t quite understand that part at first — until he spotted behind him, there was a Winnebago.  Six familiar faces, very stick-figure-esque, stood there waving.  You also stood there, with a quote above your head: “six-piece nuggets, coming right up.”  Steve breathed the fondest of chuckles as he took it all in, wanting to laugh and smile and cry and tackle you with his kids all at the same time.
Steve’s drawing of you was more adorable than you ever thought him capable of drawing.  You were the cutest little cartoon, backpack over your shoulder with combat boots — but you were wearing the most beautiful dress.  It was yellow, which complimented the happy blue sky behind you.  Yours and Steve's favorite colors combined.  There was a big house behind you, with seven other stick figures that looked an awful lot like Steve and your six nuggets.  And right next to you, there was a dictionary-esque definition of you:
BAUMAN (Pronounced bow•men)
A professional love-life ruiner; cute but psycho; hardcore but soft; too smart for her own good; humor darker than the dark espresso she drinks straight, because she’s a sociopath; also hotter than said cup of coffee; terrifyingly beautiful from the inside out; my mortal enemy turned favorite person; the girl who makes everything make sense; someone I can’t fathom living without, and can’t believe I ever thought I could; the love of my life, in this one and the next and so on, so long as she’ll have me.
You had never felt so full in your entire life, and neither had Steve. The two of you just stared at each other’s drawings. Grinning, glassy-eyed, chuckling, aching, filled with every ounce of joy and every ounce dread — all at once.  Neither of you could speak, but neither of you had to. Your eyes, along with his, spoke volumes. They said everything there was to say, just as much as your sketches did.
Lucas had drawn Will in a wizard’s outfit.  He held a tall, majestic scepter — with a large hat on top of his head.  Surrounding him was a large swirl of colors, whimsical and light, painting a galaxy of sorts.  And in this galaxy, there were little floating stick figures with all his friends’ names above them.  Will was smiling in the drawing, with his hands in the air and on top of the world.  Literally, because in the picture he was standing on top of a globe.
As for Will...he had drawn Lucas at a basketball game. He was scoring the winning basket, and an entire crowd cheered behind him.  All of you were there.  Will was there, next to all his friends.  You and Steve were next to each other, along with his mom, Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle, Eddie, Robin and Hopper.  Even your Uncle Murray.  
And Max…that’s where Will’s drawing got unique. 
She was piggybacking Lucas, as he jumped and shot the winning score of the game, her laugh radiating through all the pens and crayons and markers that Will had used to sketch her.  She was alive, as were the rest of you.  Very much alive.
Just as you all were right now, inside one of Steve Harrington’s many bedrooms in his big house with no parents.  
No matter what doom was swiftly approaching — no matter what monsters were looming underneath the surface, and already roaming the real world — you all were together.  You had each other.
You always will.
***
Late morning upstairs has been kind to you.  It's been light.  Hopeful. 
There’s something about walking downstairs that makes the energy shift.  It sends an odd sort of chill up your spine, despite Steve’s arm draped securely over your shoulders as you wear one of his large gray hoodies with your bad arm in a sling.  You feel a certain pang in your chest as the kids follow you all down into the kitchen…but this time, it’s not because of your heart arrhythmia.
As Hopper and Joyce smile at you all in the kitchen, greeting you warmly and having prepared a table full of pancakes that had smiley faces decorated with whipped cream and chocolate chips and strawberries on top — something about the scene frowns at you.  A deep frown that you’ve seen on everyone’s faces whenever there is bad news waiting to be shared.
Your uncle is coming over to hand you a hot cup of decaf coffee, winking at you and Steve as he gives him a tight shoulder squeeze.  He’s moving past you both towards the man named Dimitri, who is walking in from the living room.  Murray brings him over to introduce you.
“Dimitri, this is my niece,” Murray grins.
You shake his hand firmly with your good arm, smiling gratefully.  “Heard a lot about you.”
“You as well,” the man says with a genuine smile, kind vibrant eyes and a thick Russian accent.  He’s definitely seen some shit.
“And this is Steve,” Murray gestures, a bit of a coy glint in his eye.  “Her boyfriend.”
Steve blushes, a soft smile gracing his features and shining through his eyes.  He wholeheartedly adores being called that out loud for the very first time: your boyfriend.
Your uneven heart skips several more beats, which typically would raise a lot of concern — but at the moment, you’re too fucking happy to care or pay it any mind.  You watch Steve flash his signature charming smile and reach out to firmly shake hands with Dimitri, who is looking back at your handsome boy with the widest grin.  The masculine exchange of lighthearted friendly words between the two men makes your stomach dance for some reason, especially as your uncle chuckles along with them.  
This is completely uncharted territory for you. Nothing about this moment is familiar.  But you could really get used to it.  It’s new.  And you adore it.
Dimitri meets the kids, who all take to him very well.  Especially El, who seems to already be familiar with him.  Likely because of Hopper.  Jonathan and Argyle are being introduced to him by Joyce, while Eddie is rounding the corner with a big stretch and yawn.  Steve shoots him a smirk as the metalhead makes his way over for a big ole bro hug, whispering something to him that makes Steve snort while Eddie grins like a devil.  Steve swats at him playfully, successfully smacking him as Robin walks in with Nancy close behind.  Steve’s quirky platonic soulmate makes her way over to you with a warm smile, swinging an arm over your shoulders so that she’s nearly headlocking you in a hug.  She’s a bit taller than you, by just a couple inches, so it gives her some upper hand.  You’re chuckling lightly, nose scrunched and tightly winding your good arm around Robin’s waist as you smile back at Nancy.  Her eyes are still sad, a bit lost.  But there’s no animosity there, at least not that you see.  She looks at you shyly, timidly…but with utter kindness.
Unbeknownst to you — Robin had suggested to Nancy that she stay with her last night in Steve’s room.  For Nancy, that had been…hard.  Necessary, but hard.  For multiple reasons.  For one thing — the last time she’d slept in Steve’s room, she had been his girlfriend. Being asleep in there 2 years later without him, now as his ex, brought back a flood of memories — bittersweet and haunting.  Being in his bed, twisted up in his sheets, felt wrong.  But she just couldn’t bring herself to sleep next to Jonathan that night.  Not yet.  Not after everything that had unfolded.  So Robin had stayed up talking with her, having a heavy heart to heart.  But it turned out to be exactly what Nancy needed.  Just what the doctor ordered.  Robin Buckley had unintentionally become a nurse of sorts over the last several months, and maybe even somewhat of a therapist.  Although — Argyle sort of had her beat in that department earlier that afternoon.  But he was the much simpler kind.  Whereas Robin got deep, given her innate gift at rambling until you were given no choice but to cut her off because your most honest thoughts were yanked out of you as you were made to listen to her ranting.  Nancy had cried some more, but she’d also laughed.  A comforting mixture of both smiles and frowns were shared between the two unlikely friends.  Robin wasn’t Barb, nor would any other girl be that kind of friend to Nancy.  Robin was very different from Barb.  However, her heart was just as loving.  She loved hard, and it showed.  She let Nancy pour her heart out, pouring some of her own out in return.  And somehow…somehow…it brought Nancy some newfound peace and understanding.
So as she looked at you now, having seen you come downstairs with Steve and the kids — now introducing yourselves to the new Russian house guest, and sharing a special connection with Eddie and Robin in a way that only settled couples so effortlessly did — Nancy could see something in the two of you that she’d not known Steve capable of being while she in a relationship with him.  And while she selfishly ached for her younger self who’d missed out on having that with him (and sometimes still found herself pining after), she selflessly began to feel happy for Steve.  And she even began to feel some happiness for you.  Not completely.  Not yet.  She couldn’t quite commit to making full peace with it all, given that healing takes time.  A very long time.  But as time continued to pass, which Nancy hoped you all would still be granted given the circumstances of the crumbling world, she knew that she would eventually get there.  
Murray and Dimitri were saying something funny, making Hopper and Joyce share a hearty laugh with the two of them while the kids were asking the new gentleman a million questions.  Steve made his way over to you and Robin, hugging you both — and Eddie threw his arms around all of you, resulting in fond groans and grunts from you all along with big smiles.
Nancy and Jonathan made unintentional eye contact as this happened, but Dustin shouting GROUP HUG! snapped their focus away again. The boys all bear hugged you guys while El and Erica were already pouring syrup onto their pancakes.
Eventually, you all sat down to enjoy a feast.  And while it tasted so deliciously sweet…the bitter aftertaste stemmed from looming doom that creeped just beneath the surface of your feet.  The energy shift was still felt, and despite the warmth of homemade pancakes and Steve’s hand on your thigh…your blood ran cold.
***
It was the early afternoon that finally unveiled the darker energy shift you had all been sensing since that morning, after you left the comforting quarters of your little family sleepover.
Everyone was now seated in the living room now — the way you always were, when it was time for you all to have a group meeting and listen to Hopper go over a plan of sorts or give a rundown to the household.  Except this time, Dimitri was here along with Dr. Owens.  It wasn’t like all the other times.  This was different.  Very different.
This one scared you.
Maybe they all should’ve. All these talks that centered around the end of the world. All these household meetings about the impending doom that came with said end-of-the-world. But somehow, you’d grown accustomed to them.  Comfortable.  It meant you were all still alive and that you all had something worth fighting for. And it had always meant there would be another meeting.
But there was an unsettling sort of feeling of finality to this meeting that set it apart from all the others.  And as Hopper stood with both Joyce and your uncle Murray…you felt goosebumps scatter up and down your arms and legs, regardless of Steve’s warm oversized hoodie and your leggings and socks.  Their faces were somber, a bit grim.  Murray kept his arms tightly crossed while Joyce fiddled nervously with her hands.  Even Hopper, ever the strong and firm type, looked nervous.  Maybe even afraid. 
They spoke all slowly, taking their time with why everyone was there — why Dimitri was now in the picture along with Dr. Owens — and what all needed to be discussed.  And the longer they spoke, the thicker the air got.  Tension spread around the room.  It was especially evident as none of the kids were making a sound.  They hadn’t uttered a single word.  Not one of them.  The adults had the floor, and when they asked Dimitri to stand with them, you all knew this was going to go in a bad direction.
So when they all told you the plan, looping Dr. Owens into the picture and why he not only was here for this talk — but here to stay — the gravity of the current situation landed.
You all felt your souls plummet to the deepest depths of your stomachs with a hard thud, as Hopper revealed two large whiteboards.  They both had entirely different detailed layouts…and beside each one, there were two separate lists of names.
One list of names would be at the frontlines.  The people who would be diving head first into the upside down and all of its perils. 
One list of names would be hiding out here.  The people who would maintain home base, helping operate things from the other side in the real world, while risking the chance of being found, caught and killed.
Both sides were at risk.  Both teams could die.  Both groups might not ever live to see another day, or each other, ever again.
As Steve stares at your name, along with the names of all of his kids aside from El, on the opposite whiteboard from his own name…he feels bile rising in his throat.  His stomach twists into knots, deeply tangled with unbearable anxiety and anguish.  His mind races, but his lips don’t move.  Fear paralyzes him, rendering him speechless as the adults keep talking and gesturing to the boards.  The castle on a cloud that his dreams have just began to build for the two of you, walls high and protecting you both along with his kids — his family — was drifting away from him.  And all he could do was watch it drifting further and further away, into the void, as he stared into space.
You felt his grasp on you instinctively tighten as his muscles stiffened.  Steve was rigid against your back, and you were grateful that he couldn’t see your face right now.  You were sitting between his legs on the longest part of his couch, facing the same direction as you took in the whiteboards while absorbing all the information that was being relayed to the group.  With a harsh swallow, you risked peeking at everyone else’s reactions — quickly scanning the room with your eyes.
Mike’s usually sour expression looked far more sad than it usually did.  He only ever looked like that when El was in danger, or things were spiraling out of control.  He sat on top of the coffee table with his elbows in his lap, crouched forward and staring a hole into one of the whiteboards.  Dustin’s mouth was agape, and his unusual silence was loud.  He hadn’t said a word from where he sat on the couch next to Erica.  Will sat on the other side of Jonathan, brow furrowed and heart blue.  He knew the risks being taken, and it hurt his soul seeing that he would be apart from his mom and brother.  He felt as though he always had been, ever since this all began, and it seemed to be a never ending circumstance.  Lucas was taking it all in from his seat on the leg of the couch, hands wrung and expression reserved — but defeated.  He’d really grown into a young man this past year, and he’d been taking so much in stride.  But even so, he looked conflicted.  Really conflicted.  
After taking in the kids’ reactions, your eyes swept over to Robin and Eddie.  She was seated in the giant loveseat, per usual, with Eddie perched on the arm of it.  You narrowed your eyes as you caught sight of Robin fiddling her thumbs, eyes darting up and down from her fingers to the adults with the whiteboards.  Eddie was bouncing his knee anxiously, nibbling at his fingernails — which were already bitten to stubs.  While the two of them looked to be taking this hard, the way that the rest of you were…they also seemed to be absorbing it a bit differently.  As if maybe they had a hunch about it already…
It wasn’t until Erica stood up to sit by Lucas with zero prompt that you felt slightly suspicious.  Because as she did, Robin shot a very quick tight-lipped smile in Erica’s direction with eyes that radiated sympathy.  Did they know this was coming?  Is that why Erica had come upstairs with the cookies and milk later than the rest of the kids?
You sighed through your nose, focusing back on Hopper as he gestured for Dr. Owens to stand up with them.  The older man made his way to the center of the tense room, hands dug deeply into his pockets and wearing a very sympathetic smile.
“I’m really grateful you all have put a lot of faith in me, despite everything,” he said humbly.  “Truthfully, it’s not owed.  I know that.  Still…I promise you’re in good hands with me.  Not those guys out there.  Hence why I’m here.  And I know you’d have already figured out by now if I was still working for that side of things.  Between El and Will, and all of you crazy smart folks, I’m outnumbered.”
He added a light chuckle at the end that nobody returned.  Dr. Owens sighed, taking no offense.  He knew this was not going to be taken well.
“I’m in this fight with you,” he said, stronger than how he spoke before.  There was conviction in his tone that he never really used, and it only heightened just how severe things currently were.  “If it were up to me?  None of you would be out there.  I’d be out there on the frontlines.  But…given Max’s comatose state, and Bauman’s heart condition, I know I’m needed here.  Which is just as big a risk that’s being taken out on the battlefield, because we’re staying in Hawkins as the evacuation notice and mandate goes into effect.  The city will be swarmed with government officials who are all behind this.  We’ll be surrounded from all angles.  No one is safe.”
You’re pretty sure that Steve had stopped breathing at this point, and the veins that prominently stuck out from his arms tightly wound around you made your throat close up.  
“I’ll be here to monitor Max, along with Bauman.  I’ve got plenty of medication to help steady the heart arrhythmia, and anything vital needed for a medical emergency — on anyone’s behalf, not just Bauman’s and Mayfield’s.”
“But…what happens if…”
A tight voice made everyone’s heads whip in its direction.  It was Dustin speaking, eyes wide with fear.  He wasn't being his usual cocky, overly confident self.  He looked and sounded genuinely fearful.
“…what happens if we’re caught?  What do we do?  Where do we go?”
Murray sighs, stepping forward.  “We’ve thought about that.  Right now, there’s only 2 options.  But they’re solid.  The best we’ve got right now.  One more than the other.  See, look —”
Murray went into detail about an abort-mission plan, but it sounded distorted in your ears as the gravity of the situation weighed down on top of your shoulders: you were all splitting up.  And this time might be the last time.
At some point, Mike had started to finally come to life.  His snark was returning, but even he wavered and the fear in his voice wasn’t concealed.  Hopper and El had to level with him, which only flustered Mike and caused him to stutter.  They had him beat, and he knew it.  He wanted to storm off, but Erica had told him to sit his ass down and listen.  It was so unexpected that he did as she said.  But your own brain was playing it all in slow motion.  As Will began asking questions with Dustin, you could see how Lucas had looked like he wanted to ask Erica if she might have already known something — but he didn’t.  Dr. Owens was saying something about Will being tied to the other side of things and being the assigned “El” of their group opposite of her, which fired up Mike as he demanded to know why the hell that required him to be out of the group heading to the frontlines alongside his girlfriend.  Before Hopper could even respond, Eddie was jumping into action along with Jonathan — coming to the retired cop’s defense.  That only bewildered Mike more, which fueled Dustin’s confusion into high gear as he made arguments alongside Mike.  Lucas had thrown his voice into the mix, but when Erica’s was louder — telling them all to listen, for the love of god listen, and Lucas stared at her in silent bemusement.  Will was weakly pleading with them all to please calm down, along with Joyce, who shot Argyle (of all people) a desperate look, and he made his way over to sit down next to Will and tell him it was going to be alright.
“NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS ALRIGHT,” Mike cried, angry and sad and scared in the way a child made to grow up too soon has every right to be.
“Mike, please,” Nancy’s voice trembled, her blue eyes glassy.
“Nancy, this isn’t okay!!!” Mike wailed.
“M-Mike,” Nancy stammered, her own emotions giving her a shake she couldn’t stop.  “Just l-listen to me…”
“No, you never listen to me!!!” Mike bawled.  “Never!!!”
“Hey hey, Wheeler, hey.”  
Steve finally found his voice as he reluctantly made his way to stand up away from you and approach his kid that was having an absolute breakdown.  Mike was still wailing, but as Steve approached with an unwavering look in his eye — baby Wheeler allowed for the group's assigned babysitter to actually place his hands on his shoulders and try to level with him.  Mike’s face crumbled, his words not making any sense the more he stumbled over them.  All that could be made out was something he was trying to say towards El — something about why and how could you and tell them I’m coming — which made Steve get a firm grip on his shoulders as he told him not to blame her for this.  After all, Steve had all the experience in the world as far as wrongfully placing blame on someone else was concerned…and it made your entire body ache as you watched him soothe Mike, who just bawled and mumbled nonsense in his hold.
El began to cry, too, leaning into Hopper — whose bottom lip trembled.  He bit down on it hard and willed it to stop, his eyes overwhelmed with everything that was unraveling before his eyes. 
Dustin was going back and forth with Erica, but he sounded so pitiful it made your uneven heart crack.  He kept looking over at Steve, begging him to understand.  Please Steve, please, let me go with you.  Eddie moved to immediately hold him, crushing him in more of a death grip than a hug.  The metalhead mumbled into his curly hair — not this time, kiddo, not this time.  Robin had a hand clamped over her mouth, emotions taking over as she barely managed to bite them back.
You stood up instantly, moving to hold Buckley.  She didn’t hesitate to make room for you on the seat, letting you take her in your arms as she shook like a leaf.  You gently swayed her side to side with you, murmuring quiet little words that were meant to be comforting — knowing they weren’t, but offering them anyway.
Your eyes met Jonathan’s across the room as he swayed with Will as well.  His pupils were blown, consumed with dread and drowning in pure misery, and you knew that yours weren’t much different.
Mike had buried his face into Steve’s chest at this point, and it made Nancy cry into her own palms as she curled in on herself.  
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, voice cracking at the end.  She looked at Hopper and your uncle, eyes guilty and full of shame.  “I - I’m sorry.”
Before you could even process what just happened, Nancy was barreling up the stairs.  Jonathan watched her go, panicking.  He looked at Will, then at you — eyes pleading.  You didn’t even let a second pass before you’d squeezed Robin to signal her, standing up to bring her over to where Will was seated.  You took Jonathan’s place as he went after Nancy, holding him tight as Robin leaned against you on your opposite side.  Argyle kept a kind hand on Will’s shoulder, still sitting to the other of him.  
“Steve, please, you die I die, remember?”
Dustin’s whimpered words had to have been the saddest plea you’d ever heard in your life.  Steve almost broke but before he could he flung an arm to sweep Dustin into his hold, as baby Wheeler kept bawling into his chest.  He held them both steady, letting them fall apart in his protective arms and doing everything in his power not to break down with them.  He couldn’t.  If he did, he’d failed them.  But to Steve’s dismay…he did anyway.  He ducked his head down, shaking against the two of his kids, letting himself silently weep with them.  For them. 
Lucas looked utterly heartbroken, which Erica noticed.  The youngest Sinclair cast aside all her pride, looking at her older brother with the most sympathy and love she could have towards anyone in this world, and she threw her arms around him.  He only let it shock him for a second before he held her back, a grateful silence falling over them both.  
You felt tears of your own begin to brim your eyes, but before letting them fall you looked up towards the adults…seeing your uncle first.  Murray looked back at you with every ounce of empathy and solace that could be found inside his dark soul. 
You gave him a soft nod, silently communicating with him.  I understand.  I’m sorry you had to deliver this news, but I’m here and I understand. 
And he returned the soft nod, lips pressed into a thin line but communicating back through eye contact and body language.  I love you and I hate this.  But I’ve got you.
Dimitri stood next to him, eyes somber and downcast.  He was new to the picture, but having seen the other side of things and just how bad a toll this has clearly taken on you all — he mourned for everyone’s pain. 
Dr. Owens had to sit down, unable to speak and wringing his hands.  
Hopper and Joyce held each other, along with El.  They looked at each other, devastated but steadfast.  
This plan was not open for discussion.  
This plan was not open for debate.  
This plan was final.
And so you let the tears crawl over the edges of your eyes, feeling them skate down your cheeks as you clung to Will and Robin and felt the world sit on top of your shoulders.
***
-- so as you can see, shit's getting intense. the gut-wrenching angst approaching has me overwhelmed but I'm so sickeningly happy about it. suffice it to say, Steve & Bauman are my Roman Empire and they are endgame. so if that gives you any sort of hope, given the inevitable doom that is in store for them and everyone else involved...then yay.
<3 this story forever lives on. forever and ever amen. - misha
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itsjusthockey · 1 year
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When The Party’s Over - Jack Hughes
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I have a problem with writing angst and this is much longer than expected. I'm not sorry.
Big announcement coming soon. Get excited.
I'm needy, so the more love I receive, the more I write. So please follow, comment, repost, and talk to me. I really do cherish this blog and want to be more active
Anyway so yeah, come talk to me. Please, I want to know what you guys think.
Should there be a part two? I don't know
wc: 3,423 (credit to gif maker)(don’t steal my work)
Content warning: Swearing and light NSFW? I don’t know it’s not super explicit but it’s all my first time writing it and I’m not sure
Part 2
Don't you know I'm no good for you?
I've learned to lose you, can't afford to
Jack may not be much of a coffee guy, but he is nothing but a weak man when it comes to his favorite bagel place. It’s a regular part of his routine, a constant thing. He goes before practice, grabs his usual order, and then he’s gone.
Usually, he keeps his head down, Jersey isn’t the biggest place, and he likes to avoid attention on his mornings off. Yet, he lifts his head when his name is called and moves to thank the lady handing him his food and walk out when he quickly scans the room, his eyes stopping when he lands on a familiar face.
You’re sitting at a small table close to the edge of the room, surrounded by notebooks, highlighters, and staring hard at your computer. He takes a mental note of your concentrated state, knowing you’re probably in the zone, but he elects to ignore that fact as he makes his way toward your table.
You jump slightly when he takes a seat across from you, only to relax, just barely, when you see it’s him.
“Jesus, Jack,” You breathe out, “Scared the hell out of me.”
Jack can’t help but let a smirk take over his features, and his heart twinges a bit when you let a breathtaking smile take over your own face.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” He teases. “What’re you doing here?”
You look at him briefly, then gesture vaguely to your coffee and your wide range of studying supplies. “Homework, or at least trying to.”
“Ah, I see.” He smiles again, relishing in the company of your presence; it’s been over a week since he last saw you.
“Anyway,” you scoot your chair closer to the table, “Come here often? Their bagels are great.”
Jack lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, almost every morning. It’s pretty close to my place and the rink.”
Once he finishes, a look of recognition crosses your features. “I knew this area seemed decently familiar.”
Jack nods, and he watches as you scan over the coffee shop, then finally rest your eyes back on him. The eye contact doesn’t last long, though, when your phone begins to buzz on the table, and you sneak a quick glance down. Jack can’t help but notice the slight smile after you read the message, and his heart falls ever so slightly.
You snap your eyes to meet his and place your phone face down on the table, leaning back in your chair. “Not that I don’t love this reunion in the daylight, but don’t you have somewhere to be?”
The question is fair, he does, in fact, have someplace to be, but if he’s honest with himself, the last thing he wants to do is remove himself from this chair across from you.
“Yeah, but being a little late never hurt anyone.”
You snort at his statement, rolling your eyes at him.
“Go to practice, Jack.”
He knows you’re right, he doesn’t want to leave, but with playoffs around the corner, he shouldn’t be here, no matter how much he wants to stay.
“You’re right,” As he gets up, he notices your almost empty coffee cup. “Can I at least get you a refill before I leave?”
You glance at your coffee, contemplate his offer, and shake your head. “I’m okay, Jack. Thanks anyway.”
He nods, grabs his bagel, and turns to leave, but not before he pauses and turns around again. “You busy tonight?”
Your eyes dart back up again, but before you answer, your phone buzzes again, and you glance down. You take a few seconds to read the message before you answer him.
“I’m not sure. I’ll let you know.”
You give him a warm smile, but there is also a hint of awkwardness behind it. He chooses to ignore the possibility of rejection and nods your way one last time, and makes his way out of the shop.
As he exits, he glances back to your table one last time, already seeing you consumed back into your schoolwork, forgetting he was ever there.
Jack knows he’s not the smartest guy in the world, but he’s smart enough to know when he’s fucked. The idea was not to fall in love, which is easier said than done. He couldn’t help it; it came out of nowhere. You’ve been sleeping together for a while, longer than both of you could care to admit. He knows that the arrangement is simple, and it works. You’re not his, he’s not yours.
But fuck, does he want you to be.
Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin’
But nothin' ever stops you leavin'
Jack gently traces his fingers along your skin, relishing in the feel of your curves beneath his touch. He watches in awe of how your body responds to every move he makes, and he can tell you’re close. Your fingers dig hard into his back, your head falls back ever so slightly, and he slows down his movements to the pace he knows drives you crazy.
To get you there, he concentrates. He knows your body like the back of his hand, but he still tries to watch your face for cues, even though you're not meeting his stare. He didn’t notice it right away when you started sleeping together, but now it’s hard to ignore. No matter what he’s doing, you always look away.
He desperately wants to see you, stare deep into your eyes, and show you, somehow, that when you’re beneath him, it's the closest thing to heaven on earth.
Tonight is different for him, and he needs you to look at him, to see him.
He pulls your face gently to look at him, and reaches down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. He makes sure he’s got your attention. Your pupils are blown with bliss, and the soft look goes give him makes him feel like he’s the only person in the world. Before he can stop himself, he presses his forehead to yours and lets himself fall deep into the endless pools of your eyes.
It’s intimate, you both know that, but for a moment, just that moment, you allow yourself to get lost in each other as you meet your highs.
Jack rides it out as long as possible, loving you in every way he knows how and making sure you feel just as good as him. When you both finally come down, your heavy mixed breathing filling the room, reality sinks in.
You’re the first to break, as always, gently pushing him off you. Jack watches silently as you get off the bed, grabbing various scattered clothing items and pulling them on. He watches with a mixture of longing and disdain. He knows you’re going to leave, you always do, but he can’t help but hope this time you’ll stay.
“Stop being a creep.” A playful grin plays on your face as you catch him staring, finishing pulling on your shirt.
He ignores your joke, “Where are you going?”
You shrug your shoulders way too casually.
“Not sure, maybe out?”
His heart sinks, and he doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you’re killing him.
“You could stay? It’s pretty late.” He glances at the clock next to his bed.
The dry laugh you bark out makes him cringe.
“And risk running into the next girl? I’m okay, Jack; I’ll see you later.”
With that and a quick check of yourself, you leave. He’s left with his lingering thoughts and regrets. He knows you’re bad for each other, and he knows that this arrangement will eventually kill him, but he can’t seem to get away.
Jack hears the outside door slam, and he’s truly alone. He decides that his best option is to sleep you off, try to forget the way you felt in his arms and the way you make his heart feel like it’s about to burst. He falls back into his bed, staring at the ceiling. The sheets around him smell like the familiar scent of you, and he hates how it’s comforting. He feels himself falling deeper and deeper into himself, and you didn’t even know he was drowning.
He knows it’s best if he just tries to sleep, flush out any thoughts of you. He doesn’t need to think about where you are or who you’re with because you aren’t his, even though he’d do anything to make you love him as much as he loves you.
He thinks about the last comment you made. About another girl. He knows his reputation and the fact that many people think he’s a player. He’s not, though, and he wishes you knew there wasn’t another girl; it’s only you.
Don't you know too much already?
I'll only hurt you if you let me
Jack's eyes are fixed hard on your back, watching almost every move you make across the dimly lit bar. He can tell you’re relaxed, and your head is thrown back, laughing along with your friends. Though he isn’t close enough to hear the laugh that makes him happy and destroys him, his heart clenches anyway. You look like you’re having the best time in the world, and he can’t help but wonder if he’s crossed your mind, even once.
He is nursing a drink that is too watered down for his taste, and his focus is pulled back to you every time he manages to integrate himself back into his teammate's conversation. While he catches a few snippets here and there, he has no idea what the hell they’ve been talking about for the last twenty minutes, and he hopes they don’t notice that his attention has been elsewhere.
He isn’t that lucky, though, because Nico elbows him slightly in the ribs, leaning toward him.
“You okay, Jacky?”
He nods, feeling horrible. “Yeah, sorry.”
He knows he needs to focus, pay attention to the guys, and have a few drinks after a good week. So he tries, his absolute hardest, to keep his eyes off of you.
He lasts about five seconds, and when he looks back toward your table, you’re gone.
He quickly searches the room and sees you making your way toward the bar. It’s honestly embarrassing how fast he moves, and before he can stop himself, he removes himself from his table and makes a beeline toward you.
He reaches you just as you put in your order, throwing the bartender a thousand-watt smile and leaning ever so slightly over the counter. When you finally notice someone beside you and turn to face him, It’s the brief look of unrecognition that practically kills him.
“Jack?” You recover quickly, slipping on a bright smile. “What’re you doing here?”
He stares hard for a second, unsure if you’re messing with him. He knows he’s told you this is his team's favorite bar, but when you’re still waiting for his answer, he clears his throat.
“Uh, it’s the bar closest to the rink,” He hates the sound of his voice. “I’m here with the guys.”
Your eyes flash behind him to his teammates, and a sly smirk takes over your features.
“Well, don’t they look like fun?”
He lets out a light laugh, “They are.”
The bartender interrupts the conversation, setting down your various drinks. You go to hand him your card, but Jack beats you to it.
“It’s on me.” He hands over his Amex before you can protest, and you shoot him a look he can’t decipher.
“You don’t have to buy my drinks, Jack.”
He shrugs his shoulders as if it’s nothing.
You thank him and the bartender as you pick up the drinks.
“Need help?” Jack asks, watching you struggle to get the last glass.
You finally grasp the cup and flash him another smile. “I got it. Thanks again, Jack.”
As quickly as you came, you were gone, heading back to your table where your friend celebrate your arrival as if you’ve been away for years. Jack watches as you all cheers your drinks, and his heart warms a bit when you catch his eye one more time, winking and raising your glass to him ever so slightly.
He nods and heads back to his own table, determined that at the end of the night, he will get to you somehow. He only wants to have you within reach, talking with his teammates or dragging him out to the dance floor. Above all else, he wants you in his arm. So, he texts you, hoping you’ll invite him over and the night will officially begin, and he can be happy. He waits and continues to glance your way.
You never respond.
Call me friend but keep me closer
And I'll call you when the party's over
When Jack's phone buzzes loudly on his nightstand the first time, he ignores it. It’s late, and he has a big game tomorrow. When it buzzes again and continues, signaling an incoming call, he finally shifts his weight and grabs it.
It’s been a week since he saw you at the bar and even longer since you’d texted. You’ve also never called, which causes his heart to beat a little faster than it should. He presses answer.
“Hello?” He asks, hearing some brief static on the other end.
“Jack?”
Your voice sounds small, and he immediately sits up straighter in bed, suddenly wide awake.
“(Y/N)? Are you okay?”
He hears your sigh softly on the other end.
“Honestly,” You hiccup, “No. I’m wasted, and my best friend has my apartment keys, and they all don’t want to leave, but I feel sick, and my phone is almost dead, and I didn’t know who else to call in Jersey, and I-“
You continue rambling, and Jack can hear you softly sniffling in between words, and It takes him less than ten seconds to throw on a shirt, pants, and make a beeline toward his Range Rover keys.
“(Y/N)” He finally interrupts you, “Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”
He doesn’t hear you for a moment, and he thinks for a second that you hung up.
“No.” You suddenly say sternly, as if you just realized you called him. “Fuck, I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have called you.”
As you finish, Jack can sense the panic starting to rise in your voice, and he knows that you’re falling deeper into your own head, and he has to pull you out before you disappear.
“Hey, don’t say that. But please, send me your location.”
“No.” You repeat, “You have a game tomorrow. You should be asleep.”
Jack's heart skips a beat when you mention his game. He didn’t know you followed his schedule. His mind begins to run a million places, different places, until he grounds himself and remembers the problem at hand.
“(Y/N),” He says it as hard as he can to force you into telling him where you are. “I’m not gonna be able to sleep until I know you’re home safe. Send me your location.”
It’s silent on the other end of the line, and after a moment, his phone lights up with your pinned location.
“Do not move. I’m about fifteen minutes away. Okay?”
“Okay.” You whisper back to him.
What should have been fifteen minutes turns into less than ten as Jack ignores every driver's safety training he’s ever had. He would do anything to be able to teleport to you, but instead, he goes as fast as he can.
When he pulls up to the crowded bar and doesn’t see you outside, he’s instantly filled with worry. His pulse continues to build until he sees you a small distance away from the entrance, sitting on the curb with your head in your hands.
As soon as he parks, rather badly, he bolts out of the car toward you. When he gets within a few feet of your form, your head snaps up. He watches as a mix of emotions crosses your face, and his heart finally does crumple when he sees a tear slide down your cheeks. It takes everything in him not to wipe it away as he kneels in front of you.
“Can you stand?” He asks softly.
You slowly nod, and he takes both your hands, helping you get to your feet. He watches as you wobble a bit too far to the left, and he catches you in his arms.
The second you’re in his hold, you melt into his touch, and he hates the way that he his entire body finally relaxes, knowing you are safe and in his arms.
Jack continues to steady you, feeling the weight of your body against his. He can smell the alcohol on your breath, and you’re way too cold for his liking after sitting outside. He grabs your shoes and phone and begins walking you toward his car. Once you’re there, he gets you into the vehicle, buckles you in, and hands you a bottle of water he’d thankfully grabbed from the fridge.
“There we go,” he says, making sure you’re set.
Your eyes follow him as he climbs into the driver's seat, and once he turns the car on, you break the silence.
“Thank you, Jack.” You whisper, your head falling a bit toward the window.
Jack focuses on the road as he makes his way back toward his apartment. He knows you’re in no state to be brought home alone, and he’d never forgive himself if something happened to you.
“Jack?” You speak again, and he hums. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He means it. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”
He turns to face you briefly, and he has never seen you look so sad, and it crushes him all over again. He wants to talk to you, figure out what’s going wrong in that beautiful mind of yours, and do anything to fix it. But he knows that this conversation can be had at a later date. Instead, he turns on a radio, and when he steals another glance at your figure, you are asleep.
Jack drives slowly and carefully to his apartment, knowing he has the most precious cargo to him sitting in the passenger seat. When he finally pulls into the parking ramp and turns off the car, you are still dead to the world.
He quickly unbuckles and moves to get you, gently trying to shake you awake.
“Hey, (Y/N),” he whispers, “we’re here.”
You let out a soft groan and rub your eyes. “Can’t I just stay here? It’s so comfy.”
You snuggle deeper into the seat, and Jack thinks he will die. You look so goddamn adorable, and it’s driving him insane that he can’t kiss you.
“Sorry baby,” the nickname slips before he can stop it. “I gotta get you inside.”
He smiles at your pouty face, and he unbuckles your seatbelt. He lifts you out of the car and sets you down for a second, grabbing your things and handing you his keys before scooping you back into his arms.
You softly hum in contentment as your head lolls against his chest. Jack thinks you’ve dozed off again until you open your eyes slightly.
“You're pretty strong," you slur. “Clearly, hockey is good for a person.”
Jack lets out a deep chuckle as you snuggle deeper into his hold, and after a few minutes of struggle to get through doorways without hitting you on something and teamwork to open his door, you’re safe in his apartment.
Twenty minutes later, he’s helped you take off your makeup because he knows your skin care is essential, he’s gotten you water and Advil, and you're wrapped in his clothes and lying beneath his duvet.
As he watches you breathe, gathering a few things to sleep on the couch, he can’t help but feel a sense of protectiveness wash over him. He wants nothing more than to climb next to you, but he’ll resist.
He stares a bit longer when suddenly your eyes peel open.
“You have a staring problem, Jack.”
Your tone is teasing, but his entire body grows hot, and all he wants is to get the hell out of his bedroom. He tries to make his escape, but not before you speak again, and it stops him dead in his tracks.
“You know, I broke my own heart loving you first.”
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2baabbies · 3 months
Text
🖤 Obsessed (Hyunjin x Reader) 🖤
Pairings: established relationship hyunjin x reader
Words: 3800
Summary: Hyunjin’s jealous streak ends with you finding him in a compromising position. AKA: in your bed, masturbating while wearing your shirt.
(somewhat inspired by Olivia Rodrigo’s song by the same name; quote at the beginning also from this song)
Fluff + Smut + Humour
afab + fem!reader
CWs: jealousy (but make it cute and silly), reader is trying to make hyunjin jealous but only because it makes them both horny (and he’s a drama queen), he’s only a bit insecure, the point of contention is a big shirt but reader’s weight is not described (aka this fic is not limited to any one body size), reader and hyunjin have exes, reader lets hyunjin make assumptions that she teases him about later
Smut Tags: lots of teasing!!, (subtle) subby!hyune x dom!reader, intercourse (peanits in vagina), safe sex/use of condom, a bit of rough sex/uncomfortable position, reader has a kink for hyunjin’s desperation, begging, hair pulling, overstim, slight dumbification of reader, slightly pervy!hyune (smelling your clothes), hyunjin masturbates in your shirt (described in detail), little bit of voyeurism, bit of cum eating
!!ATTENTION!!
Reposting this fic to other platforms, including as a translation, is expressly prohibited. Do not copy, alter, or claim this fic as your own. Absolutely no permission is given to anyone to post my works, even with credit, and this fic should only appear on Ao3 or Tumblr under my accounts. Reposting is not only plagiarism, but a direct violation of my wishes as the original writer and owner. Please respect writers and don’t steal!
Likes, reblogs, asks and comments are very welcome and appreciated <3
~~~
‘And I know you love me, and I know it's crazy
But every time you call my name, I think you mistake me for her
You both have moved on, you don't even talk
But I can't help it, I got issues, I can't help it, baby’
It takes Hyunjin’s brain a second to register that something is wrong, and a second after that to actually take a look at himself and attempt to decipher what feels so off. He is still buffering when you return to your bedroom. You giggle at his bedhead and the cute expression on his face as he grabs the hem of his shirt and holds it up. He thought he had grabbed his white tshirt off the floor, and in his morning daze he had actually grabbed one of yours that you were too lazy to throw in the morning laundry. The graphic tee is far too big on him, even hanging off his shoulder, but you get a good look at the boxers he pulled on seconds before thanks to his hands lifting it up above his stomach. He drops the material and it falls down over his lap, unfortunately covering his soft tummy and pale thighs. He looks up then blinks away his sleep as you enter with a basket of clean laundry. You hold up his shirt and you giggle again at his sleepy smile.
“Looking for this?”
He nods and watches you drop the basket on the bed. You pull each freshly washed garment out for him and he shuffles over to loop his arms around your waist from behind.
“You let me sleep in…”
“You wouldn’t get up, sleeping beauty.”
He huffs and pecks the nape of your neck.
“You didn’t try hard enough…”
“Mhm, sure. You look cute in that.”
You admire him over your shoulder as he leans back and plucks the baggy fabric between his fingers.
“It doesn’t fit me…”
“I think that’s where the cuteness comes in.”
“I’m always cute…”
“That… I don’t disagree with that.”
He chuckles and turns you around so he can properly embrace you. You smile at him and nudge your noses together with a fond smile. He hums and nuzzles back gently, drawing your body tight to his with a content sigh.
“It’s so cozy… How come I hardly see you wearing it?”
You fail to realize at first that he is back to talking about the shirt, and take a moment of silence to contemplate his question.
“I wear it all the time. I think it’s just always dirty, I try to put something cleaner on when I know you’re coming over.”
You both laugh at your honesty.
“It’s really soft.”
“Well, I’d offer to buy you one but I don’t know where it came from.”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone left it over a while ago…”
You do not regret the words when they leave your mouth, but you can do little to fight your smirk as Hyunjin’s lips draw into a tight line. He then purses his lips and puffs his cheeks in a dramatic pout.
“Who?”
“Don’t be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous. Tell me who.”
You roll your eyes. Hyunjin was privy to the history of all your exes, situationships, and sexual escapades. You knew about his too. It had been relieving to be able to talk so candidly about your experiences with him, and it definitely allowed the two of you to become close early on in your relationship. There was something therapeutic about snuggling with your lover and bitching about the ones that let you down.
It did not, however, curb Hyunjin’s jealousy in the slightest. He knew their names, how long you were together, if you still talked, he even knew where some of them lived and worked. It would be alarming if you had not both offered all that information to each other willingly. And you knew, ultimately, Hyunjin would never restrict you from having a friendship with any of the exes you still talked to. Although you would never admit it, you treated his jealousy as a testament of his love. He only cared so much because he cared about you. Besides, it was a natural emotion, and the fact that he was willing to  be so emotionally available did more for you than anything your exes ever did.
“We don’t even talk anymore, Hyune. I don’t think she’s even in this country.”
“She. She. Oh god, I know who it is.”
“No, you don’t-”
He falls out of your arms and to the bed with a heavy thud, wailing incoherently as you observe his theatrics.
“She’s the worst!”
“Well, that’s why we’re not friends anymore…”
He suddenly thrashes and tears the shirt off with an animalistic grunt. You cock your eyebrow up and watch him roll around in vain when it gets stuck on his chin. He manages to pull it off and whips it at the floor, breathless after his performance.
“Are you okay?” You ask.
“I can’t believe you let me wear her shirt.”
You scoff.
“Firstly, you’re the one that put it on. Secondly, it’s my shirt. She left it. Finders keepers.”
“I feel dirty.”
“You’re fine. And overreacting.”
You kneel on the edge of the bed and crawl up so you are sitting in his lap. He huffs and looks at you with a miserable expression.
“Why did you keep her shirt?”
“Because it’s a nice shirt, and I like it.”
“Get rid of it.”
“I will not. But, I’ll wear it less if that makes you feel better.”
“No. It doesn’t.”
You giggle.
“You’re being silly, Hyune.”
He looks away pointedly and you guide him back to face you by gripping his jaw. He swallows thickly as you, slowly, lean in to hover your face over his. You feel his shuddery breath on your lips, and bite down seductively to muffle the satisfied hum you release when you feel him hardening beneath you. He glares and scrunches his face with faux distaste as you dance your fingers up his stomach, then graze your thumb over one of his nipples. He shivers and finally lets the act drop, his annoyance melting into arousal as you peck shyly at his lips.
“Hyune,” You purr, “It’s okay if you’re jealous.”
“I-I know…”
You reward his cooperation with a teasing lick into his mouth, and carefully circle his nipple with light pressure. He whines and bucks up against you.
“You know how special you are to me. I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too,” He whimpers.
You respond with a sultry chuckle and begin stripping off your clothes.
There was a part of you that adored Hyunjin’s jealousy. It made him whiny, and needier for your affection. You would deny it vehemently if he ever called you out on it, but his desperation for your validation could have you dripping in seconds. So, it was a bit of a game between you. For the majority of the following week, Hyunjin would pretend he was unbothered when he saw you wearing that shirt. In turn, you would pretend that you were accidentally choosing it over all your other pajama options. While it may have been a bit unfair- or even mean- on your part to watch him squirm and stifle his complaints each time you pulled it on, it did not weigh on your conscience. You love each other; you trust he will let you know when his limit has been met.
And he does.
“Take it off.”
“Ha-ah,” Your eyes roll as you mumble back, “Hn?”
Your mind is fuzzy. Hyunjin has your ankles hooked over his shoulders and his cock pressed deep inside you. Your arms are limp above your head, fists clenching in the pillow supporting you. You tilt your head back with a moan as his hips rock against the back of your thighs in a steady rhythm.
“Baby, take it off, please.”
His fingers are curled in the hem of the white shirt, lifting it up as he ruts himself into your warmth. You huff out a laugh and tilt your head back to face him. You moan as you take in his heady groans and pleading eyes. His plump lips are parted to exhale a whine and his cheeks are impossibly flushed. You clench when he makes another pathetic noise and shoves his face into your neck. You smirk as your shirt gets rucked up to your breasts.
“I-I’m cold, Hyune.”
“Please. Please, please, please.”
He draws back and now you whine as his movements falter. 
“Hyunjin?”
He raises his head and pouts, eyes teary as he looks at you. You shudder, feeling your heat gush at the sight. You are teetering on the edge of an orgasm, and your mind is scrambled with the intent to chase that high. You roll your hips and he gives a shaky thrust in return.
“Don’t make me beg, darling. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Mhm! M’okay, take it- take it off, Hyune.”
His touch is deft as you lift your arms and he slips the shirt over your head. He throws it behind him, then draws a gasp from you when he repositions himself above you. Your mouth is agape in pleasure when he starts thrusting again, legs folded to your chest as he plows you into the mattress. You are thankful for the pillow, otherwise your head would be banging against the headboard. His tip almost kisses your cervix and you let out a breathless wail as humps into you, following each precise thrust with steadily rising groans. You reach up to thread your fingers in his hair and bring him in for a kiss. Your toes curl as his body melts into yours, and you finally reach your climax. You share more consuming kisses as he fucks you through your orgasm.
Hyunjin is soon following you, getting sloppier in his movements as his pleasure increases. He leans away, just enough to let you catch your breath. Your legs are trembling from the strain, and now from the overstimulation of his cock filling your fluttering cunt. He shakes his head when stray hairs stick to his skin and fall into his eyes, and you lovingly tuck each one out of the way.
“Hyune…”
“G-Good?”
“Mhm,” You nod and quiver, “M’good. Can’t think.”
He laughs and leans down to peck your lips. For a moment it looks like he has a quip lined up, but he just snuggles his head into your chest and lets out a ruined moan. You giggle as his thrusts stutter, then he lazily rolls his hips into you with a relieved hum. You let him ride out his release, kissing the crown of his head and playing with his hair as he lets out little moans and sighs of pleasure. When he finally stills, you reach between your bodies and gently push on his chest.
“Ah-ahn…”
“Hyune, you’re squishing me.”
“Hah, sorry.”
He groggily rises and lets your legs fall out of their tense position. You help him slip off the condom and discard it in the trash bin beside your bed. Your legs are numb, and you are a little shuddery all over from the lingering overstimulation. Hyunjin helps you get comfortable then melts into your waiting arms. You resume kissing and caressing him slowly as he tucks the two of you under the blanket and settles on top of you. He rubs his dumpling cheek over your heart and smiles when you giggle at him.
“I love you,” He murmurs, “You okay?”
You nod.
“I’m good, baby. I love you, too. You always make me feel so good.”
“Mhm, I’m sorry I was rough.”
Hyunjin massages your hips and gently squeezes your thighs. You hum and brush your fingers through his hair, tidying his mussed locks and ridding it of tangles.
“You don’t have to be sorry, babe. I loved it. You were perfect.”
“You’re perfect.”
He leans up to share a sweet kiss, stroking your cheek as your lips meld together. When you part, he pecks your chin then lets his lips trail down your neck. Your eyes flutter and you exhale peacefully as exhaustion overtakes you. Still, you stay awake when he brushes his lips over your ear and whispers to you.
“Thank you, for taking it off.”
“Mhm. Jealous baby.”
He whines at your teasing tone.
“You’re so mean.”
“And you’re ridiculous,” You murmur as you drift off, “But I still love you. You’re my favourite boy. My one and only.”
He nods and pecks your cheek. “I know. You’re my one and only, too, baby.”
The morning arrives peacefully. You wake up before your alarm, and enjoy a few minutes of admiring Hyunjin’s sleeping visage before you slip out of bed to get ready for the day. He is still sleeping after you finish your routine, completely undisturbed as you get dressed and check your phone. You still have some time before you have to go, so you sit beside him on the bed and card your fingers through his hair as you scroll through your phone. He stirs and looks up at you blearily when you run your thumb down the bridge of his nose.
“Mh?”
“Good morning, baby,” You peck his forehead, “I have to go out. I have a couple errands to run. I won’t be long, okay?”
“Mhhm.”
You tuck him in and kiss his temple as he nuzzles his face into a pillow. You giggle and leave with a fond smile.
Hyunjin wakes later, before you return, and pats the empty space beside him until he realizes you are not there. He rolls onto his back to look around and swipes a hand over his face as he fights his disorientation. Eventually, he vaguely remembers you kissing him goodbye earlier when he was somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. Unfortunately for him, he has no clue when that was or how much longer it will be until you get home. He lets out a frustrated sigh for no one but himself and eases himself out of bed. He pulls on his boxers, finding them among the pile of other clothes hastily discarded when the two of you fell into bed the night before, and shuffles to the bathroom.
He is a bit more awake when he returns to your bedroom, and pauses as it registers in his vision. White fabric, carelessly casted to the floor, sitting atop your panties and his hoodie. He scoffs at it, so it will know how he disapproves of it gracing his presence, and crosses the room to pick it up off the floor. He had not cared to look at the white tee any more closely once the idea of you wearing someone else’s clothes crossed his mine, but he is drawn to dissecting it now. He does not recognize the print on the front, some band or characters you never mentioned, but he does admire it a bit now. Ultimately, he understands why you kept the shirt on an objective level. It is nice, albeit a little worn, and there is nothing aesthetic-wise that he dislikes about it.
Hesitantly, he toys with it before bringing it to his nose. He gives a tentative sniff as he recalls your words from a week ago. I wear it all the time. I think it’s just always dirty. The shirt definitely did not smell like fresh laundry, or whatever he was expecting it to smell like. It smells like you. He cannot place it, there is a mix of familiar smells invading his senses; the remnants of your body wash, a hint of the candle you light after stressful days, the trace of your hot scent that drives him crazy during your intimate moments. His eyelids flutter and he groans, pressing the fabric to his nose and inhaling deeper. He recalls how comfortable the shirt was to wear before he learned of its origins, and begrudgingly pulls it on before crawling back in bed.
Missing you is torture for him during the rare moments he wakes up alone in your bed, but wearing your shirt settles his loneliness for a bit. That is, until he gets restless again. He could go find his phone, wherever he abandoned it when you two started getting handsy the night before, but he is already so comfortable under the covers. The only thing missing is you. He pulls the collar up over his nose and breathes in, momentarily subdued by the illusion of being enveloped by you. Then he remembers the vision of you from last night, wearing this same shirt and taking him so dutifully in this same bed. He groans and curses himself, reaching down to palm over his growing erection. The shirt, still too big for him, adds an extra obstacle between him and relief as he strokes himself leisurely. He shucks his boxers off under the blanket and reaches under the shirt to grasp his cock firmly. He groans and gives himself a rough squeeze before jerking himself slowly.
One hand holds the shirt up over his nose while the other roams over his length. He wishes it was you. He bucks his hips up at the thought of you touching him and puffs sharply into the shirt. He squirms, the tip of his cock rubs against the inside of the shirt with every stroke and creates a delicious amount of friction. It is so soft, gliding against him without any discomfort and very little resistance. His hips jump again and he has to clutch the base of his cock to stop himself from climaxing too quickly. He discovers that he can taste your scent stronger if he inhales through his mouth, and before too long is panting desperately as he thrusts into his fist. He is too hot now, and kicks off the blanket before resuming the rhythm of sucking in deep breaths while fucking into his own hand.
He is almost there now, possibly on the verge of cumming faster than any other time he has touched himself. He watches his cock strain under the shirt through his eyelashes, and whines when his precum begins wetting a spot in the white fabric. It sticks to him now, turning a bit translucent where his arousal beads through the material. His eyes pinch shut and he controls himself again. He does not want to finish so quickly. This feeling of pleasure is new to him, being smothered in your scent and comfort with the perfect sensation helping him get off. The only thing that might compare is actually getting to fuck you, but this is so different.
He cannot edge himself any longer, the pleasure that has been pooling has become too much. He begins jerking himself faster, ignoring the dry scrape of his unlubed palm on his shaft. He collects some of his precum and uses that to ease his motions. It helps just enough and allows him to reach his climax without further hesitation. He cries out and pants out a series of whimpering moans as his cum shoots out in thick spurts.
You lean in the doorway, watching his release soak through the fabric and further dampen the spot over his cock. You had been watching since he kicked the blanket away. In fact, you knew what he was doing when you entered the apartment and heard his soft moans ringing out in the silence. What you had not expected was walking in on the scene before you- but you were far from disappointed. You let Hyunjin recover a bit before speaking up. He tugs down the collar of the shirt and heaves in a much needed breath.
“I thought you didn’t like that shirt?”
He jumps and throws his palm over his face.
“Fuck.”
You laugh as his other hand slips guiltily out from under the shirt and falls limp on the bed, a bit of his cum sticking between his fingers. You saunter over to the bed, leaning in to run your hand up the inside of his leg as you walk up alongside him. He shivers and peeks at you through his fingers, chest rising and falling quickly in anticipation. Your hand takes his wrist from where it lies on the bed, you hold him firmly as you ease down to straddle his lap. You hold up his messy fingers, almost in admiration, and meet his gaze as you suck them into your mouth. He groans and lets his other hand drop so he can watch you lap each one clean. Your lip twitches as you guide his fingers over your lips, smearing your spit as you lead him to cup your cheek.
“Well?”
“Huh? Oh, the shirt, right,” You giggle and silently urge him to reply, “I-It’s alright. I still don’t like it.”
“Really? You seem to like it, at least a little bit.”
You pry the shirt up from where it has begun to stick to his cock and he hisses. You tilt your head and run your thumb over the patch of soiled fabric thoughtfully.
“O-Only because it smells like you.”
“Oh? Is that it? Are you still jealous?”
Hyunjin sets his jaw and avoids your gaze for a moment as he licks his lips nervously.
“I don’t know…”
“Be honest, Hyune.”
His eyes flick shyly to yours.
“It’s not easy just to… not be jealous. You know that.”
“Mhm…”
You move up his lap, not caring when you settle onto the dirty patch or his oversensitive cock. He watches with a worried frown as you brace your hands on either side of his head and lean over him.
“Wanna know a secret?”
“Yes,” He breathes, looking up at you expectantly.
“You’re jealous over someone who I never had feelings for, and who never got to touch me.”
His eyes widen then narrow.
“But, y-you said your ex left it!”
“Ah-ah- I said ‘someone’ left it behind. You were the one who assumed I was ever into that person.”
He puffs his cheeks and glares softly.
“You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie, I just didn’t correct you. You shouldn’t have assumed you knew who forgot it.”
“You set me up.”
You laugh.
“I set you up? For what? To catch you jerking off in my shirt?”
“Yes!”
Your laughter intensifies and Hyunjin fights his smile. He looks embarrassed, face still flushed, but the twinkle in his eye as you become breathless above him seems to signify his ease with the circumstances. You sigh happily and lean down to reward him with a deep kiss, which he eagerly returns.
“How about we get you clean, hm?”
“Sounds good to me.”
You giggle and tug at the shirt playfully.
“And I’ll get our shirt washed up.”
“Yeah, you let it go too long. It’s way too dirty to wear now.”
You snort.
“Okay, actually, you can wash your own messes.”
He grins.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Hyune.”
196 notes · View notes
spaceycowboys · 1 year
Text
echoes of your name inside my mind
pairing: aemond targaryen x female!reader; aegon targaryen x female!reader (one sided)
summary: aegon has a constant reminder that you will never be his, no matter how badly he wishes you to be. or maybe you could be.
warnings: light smut, yandere!aegon, pining!aegon, oral sex (female receiving), fingering (female receiving), NONCON/DUBCON SEX (female receiving but not reader and not heavily detailed), noncon voyeurism, violence, threats of bodily harm, unconsented kiss, aegon is a lil creepy, not edited, will return later to edit. open ended for possible part two if anyone wants it, please let me know if i missed anything!
notes: repost because i am convinced tumblr hates me. i am not 100% pleased with this if i am being honest :( but i am still wanting to post it! i think it turned out good, it just didn’t end up exactly like i had wanted it too. thank you everyone for all your patience while waiting for this fic, and thank you everyone for being so kind when i had to delay due to being ill, i appreciate each and every one of you. i imagine this ready being the same tyrell!reader from my fic starry eyes sparking up my darkest night but not necessarily a sequel to it! just could possibly be in the same universe.  please interact and leave a comment or reblog and let me know your thoughts, feedback of any kind if always so appreciated! please heed warnings before you consume this content! i don’t want anyone reading anything that may make them uncomfortable. title credits: don’t blame me by taylor swift
word count: 4.1k
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 Aegon’s never felt this way before. The swelling in his chest so unfamiliar when you smile softly at him, a smile you typically reserve for your husband, directed towards him across the table at dinner.
Your hair is down this evening, something you’ve only started doing recently. Foregoing the braids and just letting it fall down your back, it looks better with the way it frames your face when it’s down, Aegon thinks to himself. By the looks of it, Aemond thinks so to.
Aemond loves you, his sweet and kindhearted lady wife, so very deeply. At one point it would’ve made Aegon sick to his stomach to witness, willing him to throw up whatever . The way he dotes on you, holds your hand while you walk through the Keep, brushes your hair back when it gets in the way of your reading, tenderly rubs your face with his thumbs when you get excited while talking.
It still does make him sick to his stomach, just not in the same way it used to. No. This sickness crawls at his chest, a feeling so cold yet so hot, and his stomach twists into tight knots, hands clamp up and throat swells in an unfamiliar way. It makes him feel like he’s dying.
Perhaps he is. Maybe not having a love like the love you hold for Aemond will ultimately be what kills him. He’s sure Helaena could love him if he could show her any kindness. He doesn’t want that kind of love from Helaena.
Aegon’s eyes watch as Aemond continues his conversation with Jason Lannister, but hand reaches for yours as you speak animatedly with Helaena about something.
His ears are ringing as he grabs the cup full of wine and downs it in two gulps. Aemond’s hand squeezes yours twice, you smile at Helaena as you squeeze his back. The servant girl refills his cup for him, tearing his eyes away from your joined hands he looks to her.
Her hair is the same color as yours. Though, her eyes aren’t the same color, eyebrows aren’t the same shape, lips are quiet a bit smaller than yours. Her hand looks about the same size as yours, even if it is rougher and has callouses.
She will do. He supposes.
“What is your name?” He looks away from her as he asks, and her hold on the pitcher tightens.
“I’m sorry?” Her voice is shaky, she’s already annoying him.
His head snaps back to hers, eyes boring deeply into her own as the girl feels her blood run cold, “I asked you for your name.”
She looks around the table. Her eyes lingering at the Queen, his mother, Helaena, and you for a moment.
“My name is Elaine, my Prince,” He hums a bored tone before nodding.
“I will require wine in my chambers after dinner, Elaine.” His voice isn’t soft, and he doesn’t hide what he plans on doing later.
His mother looks furious, Helaena just looks down at her plate. You, however, you look almost disappointed. As if you couldn’t believe he would do such a thing, let alone in front of his own wife.
Aemond pulls your eyes away from Aegon, a frown adorning his face when he notices the grimace on your own. His eyes looks at the shame on Helaena’s and the anger on his mothers as she looks at his older brother before he puts together what must’ve occurred.
He clears his throat and gives lord Lannister a tight smile, “I must apologize, my Lord. My wife is quite tired today and seems to be ready to retire,”
The words are a courtesy, not much else, everyone at the table except Jason Lannister seems aware of that, “Can your lady wife not see herself to bed, my Prince?”
Aemond’s hand twitches at the implied disrespect, but it’s Aegon who speaks up, “Are you implying that that my brother should allow my Good Sister, his lady wife, to head to bed alone?”
Jason Lannister looks uncomfortable at the attention of the table now being on him, “I meant nothing of it, my Prince. I just meant a Lady can typically see herself to bed while her husband continues his evening,” He ends the statement with an awkward escaping his mouth at the heated eyes of the two Princes as well as the distressed eye of the Queen at the impending argument.
You clear your throat, dainty hand reaching for you husbands nervously, “Ah, yes, Lord Lannister. I am sure I could find my rest alone, however; my husband has been very tired as of late, and I require him to have an appropriate amount of rest.”
Aegon watches Lord Lannister like a hawk, demanding him to imply any further sort of insult to you. When the Lord stays quiet, averting his gaze to the Hand of the King, Aegon allows his eyes to travel back to you and Aemond, watching distastefully as he places his hand on the small of your back to lead you to your private quarters.
εїз
The servant girl, Elaine, doesn’t struggle when he grabs her waist and pushes her face down on his bed when she walks in. She knows what she’s here for, but Aegon can’t help but feel irritated she didn’t even bother to actually bring any wine. The lack of drink will make the experience harder for him, the more sober he is the more he’ll be able to realize the woman beneath him isn’t you.
She doesn’t struggle when he grabs her hair tightly, groaning when he thinks of it being you beneath him, his cock stirring to life at the thought of you being beneath him as he lets his imagination run wild.
She does, however, cry when his cock enters her. She isn’t nearly as wet as Aegon would like for her to be, but he can make do. It’s not like he truly cares much for her pleasure anyway.
When she gets to loud, he presses her face harder into the mattress and thrusts into her a little faster. Her sobbing ruining his mood, but not enough for him to stop.
He thinks of you. Your soft smile that you sent him at dinner, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke with Helaena as she talked about the twins, the way the neckline of your dress dipped almost too low to be considered modest.
Fuck, he can’t stop wondering what your bare chest looks like, if you like it when your nipples are sucked on, if you prefer being on top.
The thoughts of you have him cumming after a few more thrusts. When he pulls out, the sobbing maid stands shakily and looks to him, silently begging to be dismissed. He waves his hand towards the door after telling her to expect a visit from his mother.
εїз
Aegon doesn’t spend much time in the library, he’s never been one to care for learning any histories or reading silly stories, but he knows you do, which is maybe why after hearing Aemond would be gone for the afternoon he heads towards the library. Silently hoping for a moment alone with you, just to be in your presence for a mere moment before leaving the Keep for the remainder of the day until he’s drug back to the castle and more than likely forced into bed with Helaena.
When he turns a corner around a large shelf housing books, his eyes nearly pop out of his skull in surprise.
His eyes must be deceiving him, there is no way Aemond would have you in such a position where people could see you.
But he does.
Aegon feels like he’s intruding on something, and honestly he knows he is. But he can’t tear his eyes away.
Aemond has you pressed up against a bookshelf, one hand pressed against your chest to hold you in place. He’s under the skirt of your dress, though Aegon can’t see what Aemond is doing, he has an inkling of what’s going on beneath your skirts.
He’s heard whispers of your husband’s insatiable appetite for you, how maids would often be searching for you only to find you in a semi-public area with your husband’s head between your legs or roughly fucking you from behind. He’d thought they were lying, honestly. There was no way Aemond would doing such a thing, his self-righteous brother wouldn’t dare do such a thing to his sweet wife.
Apparently he does.
You’re biting your lip to keep any noises from coming out, whatever Aemond’s doing with his mouth beneath your skirts, you’re very much enjoying.
It’s not really the first time Aegon has seen the two of you in such a position, but never in a public place. Not that anyone but the two of you really visit this particular library.
Usually when Aegon watches, he watches from a distance. There is a balcony on a tower that if he stands at the right angle he can see in your room is his go to spot. Or, when he’s feeling desperate, he’ll hide in the tunnels of the Keep, standing outside the one leading to your room with his cock in his hand as he listens to your moans and pleas as Aemond fucks you harshly.
“Aemond,” Your voice is a breathy moan, it sounds like heaven.
Your hands rest at your sides, clenched tightly as your husband eats you as if you’re the last meal he’ll be allowed to have. Which Aegon can’t ever say it out loud, but he would do the same. He’s never been one for giving oral, but if he could live and breath between your thighs, he mouth would rarely leave your cunt.
Your moans have Aegon’s cock stirring to life beneath his pants as he watches. He doesn’t know how long Aemond has been committing the taste of you to his memory, nor how close you are to cumming, but if he had to guess you’re close.
Your body is tensing, hands gripping the edge of the bookshelf so tightly he wonders if it will break, moans getting louder and nose scrunching up. Chants of his brother’s name, Aemond, Aemond, Aemond leave your mouth is desperate, pitchy whines. Whole body shaking as his brother’s hand moves from your chest to take one of your own and intertwine your fingers.
The loving gesture has Aegon’s cock softening as he bites back a scoff. It’s easier for him to watch when Aemond has had a rough day, more interested in taking in the moment rather than giving. When Aemond is soft, it’s not as easy for him to remember who you are to him, who he is to his brother.
Your breathing evens out but your hand stays intertwined with his brothers, eyes still closed in the afterglow of your orgasm. Aegon decides to take his leave when he notices his brother moving under your skirt. He doesn’t want his mother to think any less of him than she already does; for not only lusting for is good sister, but for watching as his brother pleasures her.
He can always find you later, he supposes.
εїз
Aegon does find you later.
He finds you sitting in the Godswood, praying to the Old Gods just as you pray to the Seven in the Sept with Helaena.
“You pray to the Old Gods often, sister?” His voice startles you, a laugh slipping past his lips as you turn to him with wide eyes.
“Prince Aegon, you frightened me,” Your voice is as soft as it always is, steady as if not to show how much he actually frightened you moments before.
“Apologies, sweet sister,” He hums out, as he makes his way over to sit next to you in front of the weirwood tree, “I did not know your family had the faith of the Old Gods,”
You hum softly before glancing over at him, “During my time in Winterfell I became quite fond of their faith,”
Aegon feels his stomach turn sour at the mention of your time in Winterfell, when Cregan Stark had been the one your father had been leaning most towards for your betrothal, up until his grandsire and mother sent a letter offering Aemond’s hand.
“You spent a lot of time there?” He know how long you spent there, how fond you became of the North and the people, of Cregan. His brother spoke about the distaste he held for the Starks often after you had been moved here permanently as his.
“Hm, a little over a year, it was very different than Highgarden, and very different than here,” You trail off, talking highly of the North.
Aegon stops listening to your words, opting to watch the way your mouth moves as you speak. He doesn’t know what comes over him, maybe it’s the close proximity, or perhaps it’s the fact that it’s the first time you’ve actually been alone with him, he isn’t sure.
But one minute, your speaking and smiling, then the next, Aegon’s mouth is on your own. A gasp of pure shock escapes you, eyes wide in horror.
Your mouth is as soft as he imagined it would be, but you rip yourself away from him before he can truly savor the taste of you.
You look like you’ve been struck, eyes wide with tears lining them and mouth open in shock. Aegon’s throat tightens up at the look of betrayal on your face, “What have you done?”
His hands shake as he reaches for your own shaky ones, bile rising in his throat as you stand quickly and move to leave the area, more than likely to find your husband and tell him what his brother has done.
“Wait,” He rushes to follow you, “Wait! I’m sorry, fuck! I don’t know what came over me?”
His hand grabs your wrist, squeezing tightly as he turns you towards him, “I’m sorry. I don’t- Please don’t tell Aemond,”
You struggle to pull yourself away from him, causing his grip to tighten even more as he shoves you up against a nearby. You can feel it bruising, “Of course I am telling him! He is my husband, and you have dishonored me!”
He winces, “No, no I haven’t. I would never, you don’t understand. It was a mistake. I did not mean to,”
“You did not mean to? What was your intention then, Aegon?”
He sighs, frustration rising in him as he looks at you and your stupid, beautiful face, “I love you,”
Horror bleeds into your features, “No!”
A halfhearted laugh escapes him, “Indeed, my Lady,” he nudges his nose against your own, causing you to jerk away from him.
“Aegon-“
“Don’t say anything,” He whispers softly, mouth ghosting against your own, “Don’t ruin the moment.”
Tears fall down your cheeks as you look at the man before you. He’s smaller than his brother, but still bigger than you. And his nails are now digging into your wrist painfully, blood seeps through his fingertips.
You’ve heard the whispers, your own handmaidens doing their best to keep you from the older prince due to them. The whispers of how when he travels to the streets of silk, he requests women who look similar to you, or enough like you from behind. How your husband never allows you to be alone with his brother. You didn’t want to believe them, refused even.
You cannot ignore the words as they whirl around in your head now.
His face is in your neck, nose nudging at the junction of where your shoulder and neck meet as he inhales your scent and sighs.
“When I’m King, I could take you from him. I’ll get rid of him, rid myself of Helaena. Just you and me, sweet girl,”
Your ears are ringing, fear rushing through your veins as you begin struggling against him as sobs escape you, “Please let me go, Aegon. Please don’t hurt me,”
The fear that bleeds through your words cause him to rip away from you, as if your touch burned him. He looks as if he’s actually seeing you for the first time since he kissed you.
Your face is wet with tears and snot, hair slightly disheveled from the struggle, wrist bruised and bleeding from where he was gripping you. It shames his to watch you struggle to catch your breath, you are obviously struggling heavily with what he’s done, and his veins are on fire looking at you. He’s disgusted with himself as he feel his cock harden at your appearance.
“I’m, fuck, I’m sorry,” He’s sorry he hurt you, but he’s not sorry about much else. He knows your going to tell Aemond, and he won’t be lying when his brother comes to confront him. He may be a pig, but he can’t bring himself to dishonor you or imply you a liar.
He watches as your wipe your face, watching him wearily as you slowly leave, surly rushing to find a handmaiden to help you clean yourself up.
He decides to go to his room and wait for Aemond to visit him, or his mother. He supposed it’ll be whichever you run into first.
εїз
Aemond feels his blood boiling as he marches from your room to Aegon’s. Fury flooding his veins as he grinds his teeth together.
The state he found you in was heartbreaking, blood on your wrist still flowing as you cried and sobbed out what had happened before getting on your knees and clinging to him like a child, begging him to not be angry with you.
Anger was never an emotion Aemond felt like he could possess towards you. After all, you’re his sweet, sweet wife. He loves you.
Aegon, on the other hand, is a different story. He knows that no matter how bad he wants to, he can’t kill his brother. He wishes he could, but his mother would be furious if he did so.
He dismisses the guards as he walks into his brother’s room. Aegon stands, preparing himself for a fight immediately, only to be caught slightly by surprise as his brother gives him a once over and then starts laughing.
Aemond laughs, an actual humor filled laugh, “I’m sorry, truly, this is just so fucking funny,”
Aegon flushes, a deep red covering his face, “What?”
“Are you fucking stupid?” Aemond grits out through clenched teeth, “She is my fucking wife. My wife!”
Aegon loathes the tone in Aemond’s voice, the way he’s talking down to him as if he’s actually done something wrong, which he knows he has. But it’s not as if he raped you.
“I am painfully aware, brother-“
“No, you spoiled fucking cunt, I don’t think you are,” Aemond pushes him up against the wall harshly. “And, quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck if you are or not.”
Aegon rolls his eyes, “I know she is your fucking wife, Aemond.”
Aemond’s hand is on Aegon’s throat before the bitter sentence spits its way out of his mouth, squeezing in a threatening manner, but not tight enough to choke him fully. If Aegon hadn’t pissed him off, and if he couldn’t see the look in his brother’s eyes, Aegon could assume he was jesting.
“If I find you even breathing near her again, I’ll cut your fucking cock off and feed it to Vhagar. You dishonor our mother, you dishonor your wife, I will not allow you to even think about attempting to dishonor mine just because you’ve decided you want her,”
It’s not a time to pick at him, Aegon knows this, yet the words come out anyway, “And yet you fuck her anywhere you can get your hands on her, that is a bit dishonoring, do you not think? Hm, little brother?”
Aemond’s fingers squeeze at Aegon’s neck, “I will fuck my wife anywhere I please, brother, because I am her fucking husband.”
He rips his hand from Aegon’s neck when he starts turning slightly purple, “I pity you, Aegon.”
Aegon growls and considers lunging at him, “I don’t want your fucking pity,”
Aemond huffs out a laugh, “No, but you do want my fucking wife. And you cannot have her,”
A fit of rage fills Aegon as he watches his brother laugh at him, “When I become King, I could annule your marriage to her, and take her for myself,”
Aemond’s face is hard again, eye gleaming in a deep anger, “If you attempt to do anything of the sorts,  you will be disappointed when I turn to our older sister and back her claim,”
Aegon knows it was a low blow, and he truly never would annule your marriage to his brother. He wouldn’t want to have you against your will, despite what people say about him.
His head falls slightly, “I wanted her, at one point.”
He’s never admitted it out loud to anyone of importance, when you’d come to court with your father all those years ago, been kind to everyone you’d met, Aegon had been taken with you. A small similarity the two brothers shared despite their many differences.
He’d heard his father speak to his sister about how you’d be a good match for her son, a true Queen you’d be one day. He silently hoped his mother would try to take you from Rhaenyra and give you to him, and he’d been partially right.
His mother did fight for a marriage for her son, Aemond. While Aegon was stuck marrying his unhinged sister, his crippled brother would be given your hand if your father agreed.
Sometimes he wonders if he would have turned out different if he would’ve spoken up, but he knows he’ll never know. Aemond would probably kill you if it meant saving you from the horrors that you would most likely live if Aegon took you. His sexual appetite alone would never be satiated, Aegon knows Aemond would see it as doing you a favor.
“I know,” Aemond’s words surprise Aegon. “You know?”
“I’m not stupid. I see how you look at her, how the whores and servants you tend to ask for look like her. I know you watch when I take her,”
Aemond’s words should bring Aegon shame, but they don’t, “I am not sorry,”
It’s clearly stated, the clearest thing he’s said to Aemond in years, if they had been closer Aemond may have cared.
“And I am not sorry, either.” His hurt tone hurts Aegon’s heart, but it doesn’t hurt it more than knowing that he’ll have to watch you be with Aemond for the rest of his life. “She is my wife. You have a wife. If for whatever reason you are still unsatisfied, you have plenty of whores at your disposal, find one that looks enough like my wife to state you,”
Aemond closes his eye takes a deep breath, a look in his eye that Aegon does not recognize when Aemond looks back at him, “If you touch her again, if you draw blood from her body again or tears from her eyes, I’ll take your fucking head and gift it to her. I won’t see you near her again. I may not be able to kill you right now for harming her, but do not take this as me letting this go. You are lucky our mother loves you, because if she didn’t I would not let you live for what you’ve done. If it happens again-“
Aemond cuts himself off and shakes his head, giving his brother one final bitter look before storming out of his chambers.
As he watches Aemond walk away, Aegon’s bitter feeling molts into something deeper. His brother is right, he does have whores satiate him, plenty of them can look like you. He can shove their faces into whatever surface is near and pretend it’s you under him.
Aemond will ruin this for himself, Aegon knows it deep down, feels it in his bones. He knows Aemond is only possessive because he knows how unworthy he is of you; he’ll slip up somewhere. And when he does, when he does somehow ruin things with the pretty little rose from Highgarden in an unmendable way, and only then; Aegon will step in and show you a new form of undoubtful devotion.
Aegon will be King, a fact everyone but his cunt of a sister knows. But you? He’ll worship your body and fill you with his son before Aemond even knows what hit him. You’ll be the Queen.
2K notes · View notes
spaceyaemonds · 1 year
Text
echoes of your name inside my mind
pairing: aemond targaryen x female!reader; aegon targaryen x female!reader (one sided)
summary: aegon has a constant reminder that you will never be his, no matter how badly he wishes you to be. or maybe you could be.
warnings: light smut, yandere!aegon, pining!aegon, oral sex (female receiving), fingering (female receiving), NONCON/DUBCON SEX (female receiving but not reader and not heavily detailed), noncon voyeurism, violence, threats of bodily harm, unconsented kiss, aegon is a lil creepy, not edited, will return later to edit. open ended for possible part two if anyone wants it, please let me know if i missed anything!
notes: REPOST FROM MY OLD BLOG. i am not 100% pleased with this if i am being honest :( but i am still wanting to post it! i think it turned out good, it just didn’t end up exactly like i had wanted it too. thank you everyone for all your patience while waiting for this fic, and thank you everyone for being so kind when i had to delay due to being ill, i appreciate each and every one of you. i imagine this ready being the same tyrell!reader from my starry eyes fic but not necessarily a sequel to it! just could possibly be in the same universe.  please interact and leave a comment or reblog and let me know your thoughts, feedback of any kind if always so appreciated! please heed warnings before you consume this content! i don’t want anyone reading anything that may make them uncomfortable. title credits: don’t blame me by taylor swift
word count: 4.1k
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Aegon’s never felt this way before. The swelling in his chest so unfamiliar when you smile softly at him, a smile you typically reserve for your husband, directed towards him across the table at dinner.
Your hair is down this evening, something you’ve only started doing recently. Foregoing the braids and just letting it fall down your back, it looks better with the way it frames your face when it’s down, Aegon thinks to himself. By the looks of it, Aemond thinks so to.
Aemond loves you, his sweet and kindhearted lady wife, so very deeply. At one point it would’ve made Aegon sick to his stomach to witness, willing him to throw up. The way he dotes on you, holds your hand while you walk through the Keep, brushes your hair back when it gets in the way of your reading, tenderly rubs your face with his thumbs when you get excited while talking.
It still does make him sick to his stomach, just not in the same way it used to. No. This sickness crawls at his chest, a feeling so cold yet so hot, and his stomach twists into tight knots, hands clamp up and throat swells in an unfamiliar way. It makes him feel like he’s dying.
Perhaps he is. Maybe not having a love like the love you hold for Aemond will ultimately be what kills him. He’s sure Helaena could love him if he could show her any kindness. He doesn’t want that kind of love from Helaena.
Aegon’s eyes watch as Aemond continues his conversation with Jason Lannister, but hand reaches for yours as you speak animatedly with Helaena about something.
His ears are ringing as he grabs the cup full of wine and downs it in two gulps. Aemond’s hand squeezes yours twice, you smile at Helaena as you squeeze his back. The servant girl refills his cup for him, tearing his eyes away from your joined hands he looks to her.
Her hair is the same color as yours. Though, her eyes aren’t the same color, eyebrows aren’t the same shape, lips are quiet a bit smaller than yours. Her hand looks about the same size as yours, even if it is rougher and has callouses.
She will do. He supposes.
“What is your name?” He looks away from her as he asks, and her hold on the pitcher tightens.
“I’m sorry?” Her voice is shaky, she’s already annoying him.
His head snaps back to hers, eyes boring deeply into her own as the girl feels her blood run cold, “I asked you for your name.”
She looks around the table. Her eyes lingering at the Queen, his mother, Helaena, and you for a moment.
“My name is Elaine, my Prince,” He hums a bored tone before nodding.
“I will require wine in my chambers after dinner, Elaine.” His voice isn’t soft, and he doesn’t hide what he plans on doing later.
His mother looks furious, Helaena just looks down at her plate. You, however, you look almost disappointed. As if you couldn’t believe he would do such a thing, let alone in front of his own wife.
Aemond pulls your eyes away from Aegon, a frown adorning his face when he notices the grimace on your own. His eyes looks at the shame on Helaena’s and the anger on his mothers as she looks at his older brother before he puts together what must’ve occurred.
He clears his throat and gives lord Lannister a tight smile, “I must apologize, my Lord. My wife is quite tired today and seems to be ready to retire,”
The words are a courtesy, not much else, everyone at the table except Jason Lannister seems aware of that, “Can your lady wife not see herself to bed, my Prince?”
Aemond’s hand twitches at the implied disrespect, but it’s Aegon who speaks up, “Are you implying that that my brother should allow my Good Sister, his lady wife, to head to bed alone?”
Jason Lannister looks uncomfortable at the attention of the table now being on him, “I meant nothing of it, my Prince. I just meant a Lady can typically see herself to bed while her husband continues his evening,” He ends the statement with an awkward escaping his mouth at the heated eyes of the two Princes as well as the distressed eye of the Queen at the impending argument.
You clear your throat, dainty hand reaching for you husbands nervously, “Ah, yes, Lord Lannister. I am sure I could find my rest alone, however; my husband has been very tired as of late, and I require him to have an appropriate amount of rest.”
Aegon watches Lord Lannister like a hawk, demanding him to imply any further sort of insult to you. When the Lord stays quiet, averting his gaze to the Hand of the King, Aegon allows his eyes to travel back to you and Aemond, watching distastefully as he places his hand on the small of your back to lead you to your private quarters.
εїз
The servant girl, Elaine, doesn’t struggle when he grabs her waist and pushes her face down on his bed when she walks in. She knows what she’s here for, but Aegon can’t help but feel irritated she didn’t even bother to actually bring any wine. The lack of drink will make the experience harder for him, the more sober he is the more he’ll be able to realize the woman beneath him isn’t you.
She doesn’t struggle when he grabs her hair tightly, groaning when he thinks of it being you beneath him, his cock stirring to life at the thought of you being beneath him as he lets his imagination run wild.
She does, however, cry when his cock enters her. She isn’t nearly as wet as Aegon would like for her to be, but he can make do. It’s not like he truly cares much for her pleasure anyway.
When she gets to loud, he presses her face harder into the mattress and thrusts into her a little faster. Her sobbing ruining his mood, but not enough for him to stop.
He thinks of you. Your soft smile that you sent him at dinner, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke with Helaena as she talked about the twins, the way the neckline of your dress dipped almost too low to be considered modest.
Fuck, he can’t stop wondering what your bare chest looks like, if you like it when your nipples are sucked on, if you prefer being on top.
The thoughts of you have him cumming after a few more thrusts. When he pulls out, the sobbing maid stands shakily and looks to him, silently begging to be dismissed. He waves his hand towards the door after telling her to expect a visit from his mother.
εїз
Aegon doesn’t spend much time in the library, he’s never been one to care for learning any histories or reading silly stories, but he knows you do, which is maybe why after hearing Aemond would be gone for the afternoon he heads towards the library. Silently hoping for a moment alone with you, just to be in your presence for a mere moment before leaving the Keep for the remainder of the day until he’s drug back to the castle and more than likely forced into bed with Helaena.
When he turns a corner around a large shelf housing books, his eyes nearly pop out of his skull in surprise.
His eyes must be deceiving him, there is no way Aemond would have you in such a position where people could see you.
But he does.
Aegon feels like he’s intruding on something, and honestly he knows he is. But he can’t tear his eyes away.
Aemond has you pressed up against a bookshelf, one hand pressed against your chest to hold you in place. He’s under the skirt of your dress, though Aegon can’t see what Aemond is doing, he has an inkling of what’s going on beneath your skirts.
He’s heard whispers of your husband’s insatiable appetite for you, how maids would often be searching for you only to find you in a semi-public area with your husband’s head between your legs or roughly fucking you from behind. He’d thought they were lying, honestly. There was no way Aemond would doing such a thing, his self-righteous brother wouldn’t dare do such a thing to his sweet wife.
Apparently he does.
You’re biting your lip to keep any noises from coming out, whatever Aemond’s doing with his mouth beneath your skirts, you’re very much enjoying.
It’s not really the first time Aegon has seen the two of you in such a position, but never in a public place. Not that anyone but the two of you really visit this particular library.
Usually when Aegon watches, he watches from a distance. There is a balcony on a tower that if he stands at the right angle he can see in your room is his go to spot. Or, when he’s feeling desperate, he’ll hide in the tunnels of the Keep, standing outside the one leading to your room with his cock in his hand as he listens to your moans and pleas as Aemond fucks you harshly.
“Aemond,” Your voice is a breathy moan, it sounds like heaven.
Your hands rest at your sides, clenched tightly as your husband eats you as if you’re the last meal he’ll be allowed to have. Which Aegon can’t ever say it out loud, but he would do the same. He’s never been one for giving oral, but if he could live and breath between your thighs, he mouth would rarely leave your cunt.
Your moans have Aegon’s cock stirring to life beneath his pants as he watches. He doesn’t know how long Aemond has been committing the taste of you to his memory, nor how close you are to cumming, but if he had to guess you’re close.
Your body is tensing, hands gripping the edge of the bookshelf so tightly he wonders if it will break, moans getting louder and nose scrunching up. Chants of his brother’s name, Aemond, Aemond, Aemond leave your mouth is desperate, pitchy whines. Whole body shaking as his brother’s hand moves from your chest to take one of your own and intertwine your fingers.
The loving gesture has Aegon’s cock softening as he bites back a scoff. It’s easier for him to watch when Aemond has had a rough day, more interested in taking in the moment rather than giving. When Aemond is soft, it’s not as easy for him to remember who you are to him, who he is to his brother.
Your breathing evens out but your hand stays intertwined with his brothers, eyes still closed in the afterglow of your orgasm. Aegon decides to take his leave when he notices his brother moving under your skirt. He doesn’t want his mother to think any less of him than she already does; for not only lusting for is good sister, but for watching as his brother pleasures her.
He can always find you later, he supposes.
εїз
Aegon does find you later.
He finds you sitting in the Godswood, praying to the Old Gods just as you pray to the Seven in the Sept with Helaena.
“You pray to the Old Gods often, sister?” His voice startles you, a laugh slipping past his lips as you turn to him with wide eyes.
“Prince Aegon, you frightened me,” Your voice is as soft as it always is, steady as if not to show how much he actually frightened you moments before.
“Apologies, sweet sister,” He hums out, as he makes his way over to sit next to you in front of the weirwood tree, “I did not know your family had the faith of the Old Gods,”
You hum softly before glancing over at him, “During my time in Winterfell I became quite fond of their faith,”
Aegon feels his stomach turn sour at the mention of your time in Winterfell, when Cregan Stark had been the one your father had been leaning most towards for your betrothal, up until his grandsire and mother sent a letter offering Aemond’s hand.
“You spent a lot of time there?” He know how long you spent there, how fond you became of the North and the people, of Cregan. His brother spoke about the distaste he held for the Starks often after you had been moved here permanently as his.
“Hm, a little over a year, it was very different than Highgarden, and very different than here,” You trail off, talking highly of the North.
Aegon stops listening to your words, opting to watch the way your mouth moves as you speak. He doesn’t know what comes over him, maybe it’s the close proximity, or perhaps it’s the fact that it’s the first time you’ve actually been alone with him, he isn’t sure.
But one minute, your speaking and smiling, then the next, Aegon’s mouth is on your own. A gasp of pure shock escapes you, eyes wide in horror.
Your mouth is as soft as he imagined it would be, but you rip yourself away from him before he can truly savor the taste of you.
You look like you’ve been struck, eyes wide with tears lining them and mouth open in shock. Aegon’s throat tightens up at the look of betrayal on your face, “What have you done?”
His hands shake as he reaches for your own shaky ones, bile rising in his throat as you stand quickly and move to leave the area, more than likely to find your husband and tell him what his brother has done.
“Wait,” He rushes to follow you, “Wait! I’m sorry, fuck! I don’t know what came over me?”
His hand grabs your wrist, squeezing tightly as he turns you towards him, “I’m sorry. I don’t- Please don’t tell Aemond,”
You struggle to pull yourself away from him, causing his grip to tighten even more as he shoves you up against a nearby. You can feel it bruising, “Of course I am telling him! He is my husband, and you have dishonored me!”
He winces, “No, no I haven’t. I would never, you don’t understand. It was a mistake. I did not mean to,”
“You did not mean to? What was your intention then, Aegon?”
He sighs, frustration rising in him as he looks at you and your stupid, beautiful face, “I love you,”
Horror bleeds into your features, “No!”
A halfhearted laugh escapes him, “Indeed, my Lady,” he nudges his nose against your own, causing you to jerk away from him.
“Aegon-“
“Don’t say anything,” He whispers softly, mouth ghosting against your own, “Don’t ruin the moment.”
Tears fall down your cheeks as you look at the man before you. He’s smaller than his brother, but still bigger than you. And his nails are now digging into your wrist painfully, blood seeps through his fingertips.
You’ve heard the whispers, your own handmaidens doing their best to keep you from the older prince due to them. The whispers of how when he travels to the streets of silk, he requests women who look similar to you, or enough like you from behind. How your husband never allows you to be alone with his brother. You didn’t want to believe them, refused even.
You cannot ignore the words as they whirl around in your head now.
His face is in your neck, nose nudging at the junction of where your shoulder and neck meet as he inhales your scent and sighs.
“When I’m King, I could take you from him. I’ll get rid of him, rid myself of Helaena. Just you and me, sweet girl,”
Your ears are ringing, fear rushing through your veins as you begin struggling against him as sobs escape you, “Please let me go, Aegon. Please don’t hurt me,”
The fear that bleeds through your words cause him to rip away from you, as if your touch burned him. He looks as if he’s actually seeing you for the first time since he kissed you.
Your face is wet with tears and snot, hair slightly disheveled from the struggle, wrist bruised and bleeding from where he was gripping you. It shames his to watch you struggle to catch your breath, you are obviously struggling heavily with what he’s done, and his veins are on fire looking at you. He’s disgusted with himself as he feel his cock harden at your appearance.
“I’m, fuck, I’m sorry,” He’s sorry he hurt you, but he’s not sorry about much else. He knows your going to tell Aemond, and he won’t be lying when his brother comes to confront him. He may be a pig, but he can’t bring himself to dishonor you or imply you a liar.
He watches as your wipe your face, watching him wearily as you slowly leave, surly rushing to find a handmaiden to help you clean yourself up.
He decides to go to his room and wait for Aemond to visit him, or his mother. He supposed it’ll be whichever you run into first.
εїз
Aemond feels his blood boiling as he marches from your room to Aegon’s. Fury flooding his veins as he grinds his teeth together.
The state he found you in was heartbreaking, blood on your wrist still flowing as you cried and sobbed out what had happened before getting on your knees and clinging to him like a child, begging him to not be angry with you.
Anger was never an emotion Aemond felt like he could possess towards you. After all, you’re his sweet, sweet wife. He loves you.
Aegon, on the other hand, is a different story. He knows that no matter how bad he wants to, he can’t kill his brother. He wishes he could, but his mother would be furious if he did so.
He dismisses the guards as he walks into his brother’s room. Aegon stands, preparing himself for a fight immediately, only to be caught slightly by surprise as his brother gives him a once over and then starts laughing.
Aemond laughs, an actual humor filled laugh, “I’m sorry, truly, this is just so fucking funny,”
Aegon flushes, a deep red covering his face, “What?”
“Are you fucking stupid?” Aemond grits out through clenched teeth, “She is my fucking wife. My wife!”
Aegon loathes the tone in Aemond’s voice, the way he’s talking down to him as if he’s actually done something wrong, which he knows he has. But it’s not as if he raped you.
“I am painfully aware, brother-“
“No, you spoiled fucking cunt, I don’t think you are,” Aemond pushes him up against the wall harshly. “And, quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck if you are or not.”
Aegon rolls his eyes, “I know she is your fucking wife, Aemond.”
Aemond’s hand is on Aegon’s throat before the bitter sentence spits its way out of his mouth, squeezing in a threatening manner, but not tight enough to choke him fully. If Aegon hadn’t pissed him off, and if he couldn’t see the look in his brother’s eyes, Aegon could assume he was jesting.
“If I find you even breathing near her again, I’ll cut your fucking cock off and feed it to Vhagar. You dishonor our mother, you dishonor your wife, I will not allow you to even think about attempting to dishonor mine just because you’ve decided you want her,”
It’s not a time to pick at him, Aegon knows this, yet the words come out anyway, “And yet you fuck her anywhere you can get your hands on her, that is a bit dishonoring, do you not think? Hm, little brother?”
Aemond’s fingers squeeze at Aegon’s neck, “I will fuck my wife anywhere I please, brother, because I am her fucking husband.”
He rips his hand from Aegon’s neck when he starts turning slightly purple, “I pity you, Aegon.”
Aegon growls and considers lunging at him, “I don’t want your fucking pity,”
Aemond huffs out a laugh, “No, but you do want my fucking wife. And you cannot have her,”
A fit of rage fills Aegon as he watches his brother laugh at him, “When I become King, I could annule your marriage to her, and take her for myself,”
Aemond’s face is hard again, eye gleaming in a deep anger, “If you attempt to do anything of the sorts,  you will be disappointed when I turn to our older sister and back her claim,”
Aegon knows it was a low blow, and he truly never would annule your marriage to his brother. He wouldn’t want to have you against your will, despite what people say about him.
His head falls slightly, “I wanted her, at one point.”
He’s never admitted it out loud to anyone of importance, when you’d come to court with your father all those years ago, been kind to everyone you’d met, Aegon had been taken with you. A small similarity the two brothers shared despite their many differences.
He’d heard his father speak to his sister about how you’d be a good match for her son, a true Queen you’d be one day. He silently hoped his mother would try to take you from Rhaenyra and give you to him, and he’d been partially right.
His mother did fight for a marriage for her son, Aemond. While Aegon was stuck marrying his unhinged sister, his crippled brother would be given your hand if your father agreed.
Sometimes he wonders if he would have turned out different if he would’ve spoken up, but he knows he’ll never know. Aemond would probably kill you if it meant saving you from the horrors that you would most likely live if Aegon took you. His sexual appetite alone would never be satiated, Aegon knows Aemond would see it as doing you a favor.
“I know,” Aemond’s words surprise Aegon. “You know?”
“I’m not stupid. I see how you look at her, how the whores and servants you tend to ask for look like her. I know you watch when I take her,”
Aemond’s words should bring Aegon shame, but they don’t, “I am not sorry,”
It’s clearly stated, the clearest thing he’s said to Aemond in years, if they had been closer Aemond may have cared.
“And I am not sorry, either.” His hurt tone hurts Aegon’s heart, but it doesn’t hurt it more than knowing that he’ll have to watch you be with Aemond for the rest of his life. “She is my wife. You have a wife. If for whatever reason you are still unsatisfied, you have plenty of whores at your disposal, find one that looks enough like my wife to state you,”
Aemond closes his eye takes a deep breath, a look in his eye that Aegon does not recognize when Aemond looks back at him, “If you touch her again, if you draw blood from her body again or tears from her eyes, I’ll take your fucking head and gift it to her. I won’t see you near her again. I may not be able to kill you right now for harming her, but do not take this as me letting this go. You are lucky our mother loves you, because if she didn’t I would not let you live for what you’ve done. If it happens again-“
Aemond cuts himself off and shakes his head, giving his brother one final bitter look before storming out of his chambers.
As he watches Aemond walk away, Aegon’s bitter feeling molts into something deeper. His brother is right, he does have whores satiate him, plenty of them can look like you. He can shove their faces into whatever surface is near and pretend it’s you under him.
Aemond will ruin this for himself, Aegon knows it deep down, feels it in his bones. He knows Aemond is only possessive because he knows how unworthy he is of you; he’ll slip up somewhere. And when he does, when he does somehow ruin things with the pretty little rose from Highgarden in an unmendable way, and only then; Aegon will step in and show you a new form of undoubtful devotion.
Aegon will be King, a fact everyone but his cunt of a sister knows. But you? He’ll worship your body and fill you with his son before Aemond even knows what hit him. You’ll be the Queen.
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whatdoeseverybodywant · 6 months
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You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 1
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gif credit: @laknxght
AIRIELLEJONES
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liked by aliyahwwe, candicelerae, trinity_fatu, rhearipley_wwe and 170,000 others.
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SEPTEMBER 4th 2020
Airielle Jones smiled to herself as she looked around the backstage area. After working her ass off for two years down at NXT she was finally getting an opportunity to showcase her talents on the main roster. 
“Airielle?” She looked over when she heard her name being called. “I’m Kayla. Nice to meet you.” Kayla said, shaking Airielle’s hand. 
“Nice to meet you too.” 
“So Paul said you can shadow me for the day and tomorrow you’ll do Talking Smack with me.” Airielle didn’t think it was possible for her smile to get any bigger. 
“Oh wow. Hopefully I won’t be in your way.” She said and Kayla waved her off. 
“Don’t worry about it. Come on, follow me.” Kayla had Airielle follow her around backstage, introducing her to passing superstars and upper management that Airielle had yet to meet. 
“So I have a segment to film with Sheamus and then one with Jey Uso at the end of the night. Have you met either of them yet?”Kayla said as A.J Styles just walked away from them and  Airelle shook her head. 
“No, I've met his twin though. I’m good friends with his wife.” 
“Oh. You know Trin?” Airielle nodded. “How?” 
“We go to the same hair salon in Pensacola.” 
“Oh wow, Small world.” Kayla said and beckoned Airielle to follow her. 
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Airielle watched in awe as Kayla recorded her segment with Sheamus. She couldn’t wait until she was able to do what she loved. 
“Hey kid.” She smiled at Hunter when he walked over to her. 
“Hi. Mr Levesque.” She said, shaking his hand in greeting. 
“Please call me Paul. How you like the main roster?” He gestured around and Airielle nodded with a nervous chuckle. 
“It’s awesome. Gonna take some getting used to thought.” She said and he laughed, giving her a pat on the back. 
“You’re gonna do great, kid.” He said giving her one last smile before walking away. 
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Kayla led Airielle around backstage showing her around the Amway Center when they bumped into Jey Uso. 
“Oh, hey Jey,. This is Airielle, Airielle this is Jey.” Kayla said and Airielle held her hand out. 
“Nice to meet you Jey.” She said, smiling at him. Josh was hooked, instantly. The second she smiled at him he was a goner. He realized he must’ve been staring at her because she slowly put her hand down, arched an eyebrow at him and turned her head to look at Kayla. 
“Shit, I zoned out. My bad.” He said, clearing his throat and giving them an awkward laugh “I’m Josh.” He said and she laughed. 
“Nice to meet you.” She said again waving bye and she and Kayla started to walk away from him. Josh groaned to himself as he watched her walk away. She was definitely gonna be trouble. 
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Airielle and Kayla were sitting in The Gorilla position, watching the main event of the show when Paul walked over to them. 
“Hey kid, you got the post match.” He said to Airielle and her eyes widened. Paul laughed at the look on her face. “You don’t mind right?” He asked Kayla and she shook her head no. 
“Absolutely not. I’ll help her get ready.” She said and Paul nodded. 
“Good Luck,” he said giving her a thumbs up  before walking off. 
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It was almost time for Airielle to go out and do the post match interview. There weren’t any fans but she was still nervous. 
Kayla sensed her nervousness and grabbed her hand giving it a squeeze. “Girl, you got this, don't worry.” Airielle nodded and followed a stage hand to the side entrance of the ramp. Airielle watched as Jey- Josh hit the uso splash and pinned Matt Riddle for the 3-count.  She and Josh made eye contact as she made her way into the ring. 
“Congratulations Jey.” She said smiling. “You have earned your opportunity for the universal championship against your cousin Roman Reigns, at Clash of Champions. How important was this victory for you?” She held the microphone close to him so he could answer. 
Josh looked at her and his mind went blank. He blinked trying to refocus himself. He said the only thing that came to mind.  “Yes, sir!” He yelled out twice. “Hey big dog! I made the family proud, too. But guess what, Roman Reigns its locked down! Welcome…. You know the rest.” He said winking at her as his theme music played. 
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“You did good.” Kayla said, hugging her. “Sorry I'm a hugger.” Kayla said as she pulled away from Airielle. 
“It’s okay and thank you. I don’t know why I was so nervous.” 
“Girl, you were a natural out there. So um, we film "Talking Smack" tomorrow morning nine am sharp. Meet me in the underground parking lot at eight.” Airielle nodded and gave Kayla one last hug before walking out of the arena and towards her rental. 
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SEPTEMBER 5th 2020
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Airielle rushed towards Kayla. “I’m sorry I’m late.” It was 8:30 am. “I’m still getting used to being up this early.” 
“It’s only thirty minutes. You’re good.” Kayla said and motioned for Airielle to follow her into the arena. “Woods is joining us today. Have you met him?” Airielle nodded. “Cool, we have Shinsuke, Cesaro, Alexa and Jey as guests today.” Airielle nodded again and continued to listen to Kayla as she went over how the show was going to happen. 
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“Oh hey, Airielle’s here.” Xavier Woods said, causing Josh to look up from his phone and towards Airielle and Kayla. “Have you met her yet?” Josh groaned and nodded. 
“Yeah, made a complete ass outta myself.” He said, sucking his teeth when Woods started laughing at him. “It ain't funny Uce. I felt like an idiot just standing staring at her.” He rolled his eyes and pushed Woods away from him when he continued to laugh. “I’ll see you later.” Josh said, flipping Woods off as he walked away.
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Airielle felt at home as she talked with Kayla, Woods, and Alexa during the Talking Smack taping. She felt like she actually belonged. Alexa had just left the panel and it was time to bring Josh in. 
“Well we have one more guest to join us right now.” She said looking between Kayla and Woods. 
“Right and I’ve used the word easy, but you know what’s not easy.” Kayla chimed in. “When you have to go head-on with family and that's what this guy will be doing come-” She was cut off as Josh came into the shot spraying the three of them with silly string. 
Airielle laughed as Woods started yelling about the string getting stuck in his hair. She started to pull the string out of her hair as Kayla started to talk about what happened the night before on Smackdown. She noticed that Josh was trying his hardest to not look in her direction and frowned before she remembered that she was on camera and plastered a smile on her face. She zoned back into the conversation when it was her turn to talk. 
“So let's say you go on the clash of champions and you become our new universal champion.” Airielle started and Josh felt his heart start to beat faster at the sound of her voice. “What’s your plan?” Their eyes met for the first time that day  and once again Josh was stuck. All thoughts flew out of his head. He snapped back once Woods kicked his leg under the table. He ignored the weird looks Kayla and Woods were giving him and answered Airielle’s question. 
“Real talk I can’t even rap that around my head. I aint never looked at me as no, real talk I ain't never thought about the big title. Never thought about a IC title, US title. It was always tryna chase yall.” He said pointing towards Woods. “It was always about beating y’alls record. I love the New Day. It was always eyes on the tag team titles. But now it’s like oh.” He stopped and smiled. “I can do it, you know.” 
She watched as he talked about how much winning the title would mean to him and she couldn’t help but smile, he was so passionate about wrestling, it was adorable to see. 
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“That was so much fun.” Airielle said to Kayla once filming was done. Wood and Josh said goodbye before leaving Airielle and Kayla still sitting at the table. 
“Yeah, it was.” Kayla said with a frown on her face. 
“Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?” Kayla looked over at Airielle and placed her hands overtop of hers. 
“No, you were fantastic. It’s just..” She paused and looked around before sliding her chair closer to Airielle. “Can you keep a secret?” Airielle leaned closer to Kayla and nodded. 
“Did Josh seem off to you? I mean I know you just met him, but..” Kayla sighed. Airielle shrugged, 
“I mean, maybe he was nervous about something. Is.. is he your boyfriend?” 
“No, I mean we.. you know, and went on some dates but we haven’t made anything official. We’re keeping it on the low.” Airielle nodded but she didn’t know what to say. She was slightly disappointed because she found Josh to be extremely attractive but it didn’t matter because she had promised herself  that she would not jeopardize her job for a quick fuck with one of these superstars. 
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Clash Of Champions 2020
AIRIELLEJONES
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liked by kaylabraxtonwwe, carmellawwe, trinity_fatu and 180,000 others
AirielleJones: Siri, play Beyoncé "Freakum Dress"
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user: 🥵
yasmine_jones: yasss! step on they fuvkin necks 😍
user: she just keeps blessing the TL
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Airielle had been on the main roster for about 4 weeks now and she honestly couldn’t have been any happier. Sure she missed some of her friends from NXT but being on Smackdown had opened up way more opportunities for her than being on NXT. 
She was walking towards catering when she heard someone call out her name. She smiled when she saw that it was Kayla who called her name. She walked over and was immediately pulled into a hug. 
“First PLE. Are you excited?” Kayla asked and Airielle nodded with a nervous chuckle. She was about to respond when someone else called her name. 
“Airielle?! I missed you” Airielle smiled brightly at Trinity and rushed over to give her a hug. “Damn, look at you. I gotta come raid ya closet girl. “ 
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Josh was walking around the arena with Jon looking for Trinity. 
“What the point of having a damn phone if she ain’t gon’ answer it.” Jon grumbled as he pressed Trinity’s name on his phone again, cursing her when her voicemail picked up again. “Why you so quiet Josh? You nervous?” 
“Hell yeah I'm nervous. I aint never have a opportunity like this before Uce. What if I screw it up.” 
“Man shut up.” He said, laughing when Josh stopped walking and glared at him. 
“What-” 
“Shut up. You and big uce gon go out there and kill it. Stop worrying.”  Josh nodded and took a deep breath. “You got this Uce.”  Jon said as he pulled his brother into a hug.  “Now help me find my wife.” 
They started walking again towards catering. That was the only place left to check. Jon cursed as he bumped into his brother almost knocking himself over. “Damn, what the f-” 
“I found her.” Josh said lowly nodding his head over to where Trinity was standing, talking to Airielle and Kayla. Jon started to limp his way over but stopped when he noticed his brother wasn't following him. 
“You coming?”  Josh shook his head, 
“Nah, imma stay right here.” He said ignoring the look his twin was giving him. “I just don’t want to go over there.” He said avoiding his brother's eyes. 
“Josh, stop playing and come on.” Jon rolled his eyes when Josh didn’t move. He hobbled over to his wife. “TRIN!” He yelled. She jumped, turning to face him. “Why you not answering ya phone man.” He said, rolling his eyes at her. “Sup Kayla.” He said fist bumping her and turned his attention to Airielle. “Oh shit. I know you.” He said, causing her to laugh. 
“Hi, Jon. Nice to see you again.” She said, smiling at him. 
“I thought you were with Josh?” Trin asked and Jon nodded and pointed behind him where Josh was waiting down the hall. 
“I was, he acting weird.” All the girls looked down the hall towards Josh whose eyes widened when he saw them looking at him. Airielle looked at Kayla out of the corner of her eye and saw that she was now looking down at her heels with a sad look on her face. 
I’ll see y’all later. Don’t forget to text me when you get back to Pensacola.” Trinity told Airielle. 
“Hey you okay?” Airielle asked once Trin and Jon walked away from them. Kayla shrugged. 
“I mean.” She sighed. “He’s been ignoring me. He won’t tell me what’s going on.” 
“Well honestly fuck him. If he’s ghosting you it’s his loss.” She said, pulling Kayla into a hug. 
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Josh, Jon and Trinity were now in Joe’s locker room, as Josh and Joe got ready for the show. 
“Is everything okay with you and Kayla?” Trin asked once Josh sat down on the couch next to her. Josh arched his eyebrow and shrugged. 
“Yeah why?”  
“She was the reason why you didn’t come over earlier with Jon right?” She narrowed her eyes at him when he avoided her eyes and bit the inside of his cheek. 
“Josh..” 
Josh cleared his throat and shrugged. “Yeah, me and Kay cool. I mean we not together though but..” He shrugged again, trailing off. Trinity studied him then let out a gasp. 
“What about Airielle?” She asked and he choked on the water he was sipping. 
“What happened?” Josh rolled his eyes and sunk lower into the couch. 
“Nothing happened, he just made an ass outta himself.” Joe said, overhearing their conversation. Josh sucked his teeth and glared over at his older cousin. “You ain’t see talking smack from a couple weeks ago? Man was stuck the second she started talking to him.”
“Josh got a crush.”
“I’m a grown ass man, I ain’t got no damn crush.” He said, rolling his eyes when they all laughed at him. 
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First chapter of the rewrite. I hope you guys like it
Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 
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bonkywobble · 2 years
Text
Kinktober ‘22 - Day 5
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Day 5 - Sex Pollen with Steve Harrington
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 1056
Warnings: Language, fluff, angst, love confessions, sexual content (18+ only): male masturbation, unprotected sex, dubious consent (due to sex pollen).
Disclaimer: Please heed the warnings - if this makes you uncomfortable then click away. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION.  I do not give anyone permission to take, repost, copy or translate my stories, regardless of whether or not they are credited. This blog and all works associated with it are 18+ only. Minors please do not interact or follow.
A/N: Day 5! Tagging @cryptidcasanova. Dividers by @firefly-graphics.
Kinktober ‘22 Masterlist
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“With all due respect, what the fuck were you thinking Harrington?”
Steve’s tongue feels heavy as he responds, “Kinda was thinking about how telling you was a bad idea.”
Pressing the bag of frozen peas to his forehead you kneel beside him, suppressing your anger to the best of your ability. “You’re lucky that I was nearby and saw you pull that shit. Next time you wanna investigate a possible portal to the Upside Down by yourself, don’t.”
Taking the time to examine your friend in the following silence, you notice despite the budding bruise under the cloth there don’t appear to be any other injuries. It should ease the anxiety swirling in your gut but it doesn’t, because then there’s no explanation for his erratic breathing or flushed face; the way his eyes are screwed shut as if he’s in pain, or the constant shuffling of his legs- Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington is hiding something from you.
“Steve?”
There’s a slight tilt of his head and drifting of glazed eyes, but otherwise, you get no reply.
Your tone is firmer, more insistent. “Steve?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you encounter anything… weird in there?” You continue, weaving your fingers through loose locks of chestnut hair as you push them away, “Anything that we haven’t already seen before?”
Steve sighs at your touch, instinctually pressing himself into it as his hot palm lands on the back of your hand. “No,” he mutters, “just the usually creepy and murderous tentacle vines. Some freaky red flowers were growing on them this time. Maybe Vecna wants to be a florist and grow his own- look, I’m sorry, but are you wearing a new perfume?”
The question throws you for a moment. “Uh, no?”
He smiles at you, your stomach filling with butterflies and confusion, “Seriously? You smell great. Like, really fucking great.”
A pained groan erupts from him as he doubles over in agony, his hands clutching you in desperation. You drop the frozen goods and catch his face, calling out his name in panic.
“It hurts, it’s not enough-”
“You’re freaking me out. I’m gonna call Nancy and the rest of the gang-”
“No!” Steve gasps, fingers digging into your denim jacket. “Don’t leave.”
“I have to get help,” you plead.
There’s a glazed but focused look in his eyes like you are a balm to his wounds - a rare and beautiful salvation. He pulls you closer until your foreheads are touching, “This is helping me. Touching you like this is making it bearable. Just- don’t go, okay baby?”
Your heart gives a sad little flip, wishing he’d been in any other state of mind. “Okay.”
Nostrils flaring he looks you up and down before removing his shirt, mud from it leaving dark stains on the bathroom tiles. Immediately you avert your eyes, wanting to offer the former king of Hawkins High some degree of dignity or modesty. Steve isn’t himself right now, you reason.
That reasoning flies out the window when his fingers start to fumble with his belt buckle.
“Jesus Steve!”
The young man licks his lips. “You can either help or not. S’too damn hot.”
When his belt and fly are finally undone you’re surprised that he keeps his pants on. Your eyes about bulge out of your head when he thrusts a hand in, however, and throws his head against the wall in relief, seemingly getting a reprieve from whatever’s afflicting him. Stroking himself furiously, the whimpers bubble in his throat when he realises you’re not touching him anymore.
“I change my mind,” he hisses through clenched teeth. “Shit, stop staring and give me a hand.”
The offer tempts you briefly. A friendship of over two years flashes before you, panic mutating into dread as you imagine the end of it. What if this ruins everything? If this is how you lose him, is your crush even worth it?
“I can’t. I can’t do this.”
It’s impressive how Steve manages to gain just enough control to stall his movements, sweat beading on his forehead. Despite the sight you keep going, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes, “You don’t know what you’re asking me to do, Steve. So please,” you beg, “don’t ask me-”
Warm, lazy, sweet. It’s how you can describe your first kiss with Steve Harrington as he reaches up and presses his lips to yours, cutting you off. He kisses you like a man starved but full of hope. Like his declaration is long overdue, Steve moves against you in a way that has your toes curling in your sneakers. 
The tears escape and so does the desire you’ve buried for so long. You don’t hesitate to return his affections, your fingers returning once more to bury themselves in his hair while you gently pry his desperate mouth apart with your tongue. And he has and always will do, Steve lets you in.
Begrudgingly, you eventually pull away, the smile you wear causing your cheeks to ache. Steve’s disposition matches yours, his gaze glossy and euphoric. “I know it’s not super appropriate, but I was wanting to ask the girl I love if it’s okay that she rides me into the sunset before I take her out on our first date?”
You snort, never happier that Steve Harrington is so terrible with women.
“You sure, Harrington?”
“Damn sure, babe.”
Smiling, you stand up and it takes less than a minute for you to strip to nothing, hoping to stave off more of his sudden cramps the faster you go. The sight of ‘Pretty Boy’ Harrington looking up at you with wide eyes, mouth parted hungrily as a thumb rolls over the tip of his cock - it definitely distracts you a little.
And now you understand that everything about Steve is pretty.
Gazes locked on each other, you lower yourself onto his angry length, nails tracing the thick veins as you line him up and pump once, twice. Cursed moans leave you both as his cock pushes past your wet folds, feelings of blissful heat roaring to life in your abdomen.
“Gotta be honest, dingus,” you purr, clenching your hips as your pussy pulsates, “I’d love for you to fuck me before we go to the movies.”
Steve’s hips jerk in response. “Movies, huh?” He breathlessly asks, “I can do that, baby.”
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bbybluemochi · 9 months
Text
bbybluemochi's F.A.Q. ✧・゚
Hi! Arun here! I thought that instead of answering your submissions one by one I’d gather all the frequently asked questions and answer them in a single post (this is a mix of art/OC/commissions related q's)!
Please note that I do read all your messages and I’m so grateful for every one of them!!!! I keep all your words really close to my heart, thank you for liking my art and loving my Ocs as much as I do, it means the world to me <3
What’s the name of your OCs?
They’re called Cotton (the blonde one) and Puppy (the dark haired one). The original idea for them was to make some silly wolf/bunny OCs (that’s why Cotton is called like that, it was supposed to be a joke about her tail…) but somewhere along the way they took over and became something completely different!
Is there a webcomic for your OCs?
Not currently! I don’t have the time or the skills (for now) but I’d love to give it a try in the future! 
I was wondering if you mind people using your OC art as character art/inspiration for DnD?Just games with friends that are for fun, nothing for commercial.
Go ahead! I find that really flattering.
Just out of curiosity, are any of your OCs bisexual?
Both Cotton and Puppy are lesbians. That’s what I feel comfortable drawing since I’m a lesbian myself. If I ever do draw a bisexual OC I’ll make sure to mention it! <3
I think you said Cotton was a dominatrix in a previous ask, but is Puppy on the opposite side of the spectrum or is she just glad to be there whichever way?
Puppy is very much a sub. They both switch (Puppy as a service top and bottom and Cotton as a top and power bottom), but the dom/sub dynamic never changes. Also I wanted to mention that these dynamics do not transcend outside of the bedroom that much, there’s more to them than their kinks but I do love to draw them deep in their submissive/dominant headspaces. 
Are one of the lesbian fairytale characters trans?
I didn’t design either of them with that in mind, but I’m super OK with people headcanoning them as trans!
May I use your art as a header/icon?
Of course! Remember to credit me tho~
Do you allow people to use your art freely?
I don’t allow reposts of my work (not that it matters that much, since almost all my art has been already reposted a million times ))): but I’d really appreciate it if you just shared my posts instead of reposting my art). As for phone backgrounds/wallpapers or stuff like that, yeah!
Do you have an instagram account or other social media, I would love to follow you there.
My main platform is twitter (same @), I post all my drawings there and I’m usually more active over there. Tumblr is kind of like an archive. I really like the community here but I find it easier to reply/interact with people on twitter! As for instagram, I do have an old art account (same @, again) but I haven’t posted in so long. I may start posting there soon if a certain rich guy decides to keep destroying the bird app tho. 
I’ve always thought about this… how do you think it’d look if the aesthetics/styles [of your OCs] were reversed?
I’ll have to explore that in a future drawing, I haven’t thought much about it! 
Do you write fics for your characters or has anyone else written fics about them?
Not yet! A couple of my friends have offered, tho! I usually like to stick to drawing because that’s what I do best, I don’t wanna subject anyone to my writing (it’s not very good,,,,). When I share some of my Ocs stories, I think it will be in comic format. 
What's the story behind your OCs? 
There are several, actually!! I like to put my OCs in different universes. As for now, there’s the Fairytale AU, the modern setting AU (this is the original one), and now the Werewolf/Vampire AU. I also did a drawing of them as spiderwoman and black cat but I don’t think that AU is gonna make a comeback for a while. I’m also planning a scifi AU but I’m not sure I’d be able to pull off that aesthetic with my current art style so I’m still working on it. 
The Fairytale AU is the one I’m working on most of the time. I wanna release a small artbook with their story + illustrations. That was my main goal for 2023 but life got in the way, so maybe,,, 2024??? *crosses fingers* 
Is your shop down? It’s saying that it’s not available.
I open my shop for 1-2 weeks every now and then, that’s why it’s closed most of the time! My plan is to open the store again in september, if i manage to finish all the merch in time! I’ll announce it on my twitter and tumblr account when I do. 
Would you ever share a tutorial on how you make your art?
Yes, of course! I’m not very good at explaining my drawing process but If it helps anyone I’d love to! Just let me know what part of the drawing process you’d like me to focus on, because If i try to make a full illustration tutorial it’s gonna be too long/difficult to follow. 
May I ask what brush do you use for your lineart?
I use a different brush almost every time I start an illustration, I’m not very consistent when it comes to that (I think it’s mainly because I haven’t found the perfect brush yet!). But let me know what illustration you’re curious about and I’ll try to remember which one I used!
Do you come up with poses off the top of your head or do you use some type of reference? I always struggle with them.
It depends on what I’m drawing! Some of my drawings are reinterpretations of paintings (I’m obsessed with pre-raphaelite painters and arthurian legend paintings in general), so in those cases I try to adapt the poses to my art style. Even If I’m trying to recreate an already existing painting I end up changing the poses/proportions a lot along the way to fit my personal taste/art style. 
Other times, I just sketch from imagination (this is more entertaining, I think, since looking at references can make the drawing process a bit tedious). If I find it hard to draw a certain pose/part of the body I will look up references on printerest, no shame in using pictures! If I still can’t find the pose I need I’ll just take a picture of myself (this is like, a last resort for me. I’m too lazy for this). 
My personal advice would be to use references for the pose and then tweaking the pose and trying to make it more personal 
I love the way the armor was designed and rendered! Can you share some tips on designing armor? 
Drawing armor is something I still struggle with most of the time. I think I’ve learned a lot in the past year (please don’t look at my armor drawings from 2022,,,,, sigh) but I still struggle to draw certain poses/angles. My advice is: don’t hesitate to draw non-functional armor!!! There’s always gonna be someone like “actually, that armour makes no sense :)” well !!!! it looks cool as hell so who caresssss !!!!! 
I think it’s more important for you to get comfortable drawing armor before you start beating yourself up for not drawing accurate ones. It takes a lot of practice (I’m still learning!!!), especially if you’re trying to draw historically accurate ones, so start by having fun, and then work your way up from there.
Most of the tips I can think about are really hard to explain without a visual example, so let me know if that’d be a tutorial you would be interested in and I’ll try to make one (I’m cringing a little just saying this bc I swear, my armor skills are so bad compared to some amazing artists out there………..).
Do you allow cosplays your OCs?
YES…. YES PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM BEGGING YOUUU ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER !!!!!! *rattles my cage* 
Do you allow fanart of your OCs?
Again,,, PLEASEEEEEEEEE !!! Just tag me so I don’t miss it and remember to give me credits if you do !!!!!!!!!!! :D
I was wondering if you use procreate , clip studio, or similar apps?
A mix of both. I used to draw on procreate only until I got a tablet and now I’m a clip studio user (csp sponsor me please), and now that’s all I use. I’m so used to drawing on PC now that I don’t think I’d be able to go back to procreate, but I still like that app a lot! All my drawings (even the ones I do on csp) always get retouched on procreate because I like some of the effects (*dreamy sigh* chromatic aberration filter,,, love u). 
I wanted to know if the marks Cotton has on her waist are tattoos or like a scar? 
Those are tats! Puppy is a tattoo artist ~~~ (I’m actually not sure if i’ll keep the waist tats on Cotton or if I’ll end up redesigning them,,,)
I was wondering if you take commissions?
Not right now. I also don’t have any plans of opening commissions any time soon! When I do, I’ll post a google forms on twitter and here on tumblr with the prices and type of comms I do. But there’s nothing scheduled. 
Even tho I'm not doing commissions atm, I’m currently looking for illustration jobs (specially book covers), so don’t hesitate to email me at [email protected]
That's all for now, thank you for reading!! I think I covered most of the questions, I'll make another q&a post in the future! Bye~~
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Note
hiii could you please write a jude imagine where the reader and jude have a lazy day at home and it’s cute and fluffy and he confesses he loves reader for the first time? thank you 😊
The L word • Jude Bellingham
GENRE: fluff
WARNING: none
PAIRING: Jude Bellingham x reader
Don't repost my content or I'll send an entity after you
Rb and feedback welcomed
My request are open for rn but I'll eventually close them
Masterlist coming soon
Enjoy
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A soft sigh fell from your lips as you started to wake up. The morning light that flooded into the room blinded you making you groan and mutter a curse word under your breath. You tried to turn away from the windows Hoping that would relieve the discomfort of the blinding sunlight, but unfortunately you couldn’t move.
Wrapped around your waist was your boyfriend’s large biceps. He had spent the night after a long awaited date now he was holding you prisoner against him.
Jude’s soft snores filled your ears as he slept soundly behind you. You loved Jude dearly but it was awful hearing his snoring.
You moved Jude’s arm trying to wiggle your way out of his grip. Jude stirred, waking up from you moving him “stop moving.”
“Jude move your arm. I need to turn. Too bright.” You said with a groan.
Jude grunted but moved his arm anyway from your waist. You turned around facing him.
“you woke me from my beauty sleep.” Jude mumbled as he squeezed his eyes shut trying so hard to go back to sleep.
You laughed softly at his words. “Good morning to you too”
Jude laughed softly as a soft smirked played on his face. He opened his eyes looking at you.
“good morning.” He leaned over and kissed you.
Jude pulled away “How’d you sleep”
“I slept fine especially next to you.” You smiled at him as you brought your hand up to his jaw. You ran your finger over his stubbed jaw as you looked at him with so much love.
Jude felt his insides turn to mush. He’s never felt the way he felt for you for any of his past girlfriends. You were everything to him. The way you could make his shitty days better just by your smile made him go crazy in the inside. Even though you only been together for 5 months it felt like a lifetime with you. The best lifetime ever.
“Yeah?” Jude leaned over and kissed you again this time a little more passionately then the last.
“I don’t gotta train today.” Jude said once he pulled away from you. “maybe we can have a lazy day. Just relaxing and watching movies. What you think?”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
“Ok.” Jude pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed. “im going to make breakfast. You find something to watch.”
You watched as he slipped on a shirt and walked out of the door.
A good 30 minutes went by before Jude returned with your breakfast. You had already settled on a show for you both to watch and was just waiting for him.
“ok I made us some eggs and bacon.” Jude handed you the plate and took a seat down beside you.
“I’m surprise you didn’t burn it.”
Jude sighed and out the corner of your eye you could see him rolling his.
“you’re very funny. My laugh will arrive in 4 business days.”
You snorted before stuffing your mouth with eggs.
You both began to watch your show as you ate. The day flew by after that. By 6pm you both were exhausted from all the shows you watched.
As you laid in bed while the credit scene rolled in Jude couldn’t help but stare at you.
You were fucking stunning he thought to himself. Jude sighed causing you to look over at him.
“What?” You smiled and sat up on your forearm.
“I love you.” Jude couldn’t help but say those words. Sure it took him by surprise because he wasn’t expecting those words to fall from his lips but he definitely meant it.
You looked at him shocked.
“jude-“
“you don’t have to say it back but I just wanted to say it.” Jude started to panic thinking it wasn’t the best idea to have said that.
“No no Jude.” You took his face in your hands. “I love you too baby.”
Jude’s face lit up. “your for real?”
You nodded “I’d never lie. I love you.”
Jude couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face.
“I love hearing that come from your mouth.”
“Yeah?” You sat up and wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him close to your lips. “yeah.” he muttered as his lips ghosted yours.
“well then I’m going to say it more.”
Jude laughed before fully pressing his lips against yours kissing you with a lot of passion.
Next Jude fic would be angst
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adora-but-ginger · 1 year
Text
Sparks Fly
pairing: joel miller x gn!reader
summary: joel and ellie find someone who isn’t too pleased with how them and joel’s last interaction went.
word count: around 2.1k
warnings: typical tlou violence and warnings (i’m comparing it to the game’s usual amount), angst that turns into fluff, slight tlou part one spoilers in terms of people mentioned, use of weapons and guns, swearing, joel getting frustrated because no one is letting him talk, ellie on her queen shit
masterlist
a/n: i love naming fics after taylor’s songs, they’re so fun! also don’t ask for a timeline because all i know is that it’s before the university but after bill, but oh my god i love this game so much, and the tv show is just *chefs kiss* so far. on my pedro pascal shit as usual, but i really like writing for joel! oh and i wrote this literally three hours ago and could not tell you what is going on. thank you for reading <3
should i make a part two?
one last thing! don’t repost my stories, if you do, i hope a clicker gets you, yes you, first :) 
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(credit to gif owner!)
Joel Miller was many things, but apologetic wasn’t one of them. So, when he felt the all too familiar whoosh of a bullet purposely landing in the dirt not even a foot beside him, he knew showing up was a mistake. If Tess hadn’t put that damned idea in his head to check in on you, he really wouldn’t have put another conscience thought in your direction. 
You appeared in his unconscious mind much more than he’d like to admit though. 
Snapping back to his current reality, he heard an all too familiar voice, albeit tinted with the age of surviving all these years, yell towards him and Ellie packed full of fury.
“Weapons on the ground and hands up now.” When no one moved, the voice reverberated again. “Now.” 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ellie shot a look towards the older man, her face proving her to be more annoyed than anything. 
“If I need to repeat myself again, the next shot won’t miss. Hands. Up.” 
Setting his revolver on the ground, he closed his eyes as he slowly called your name in a hesitant greeting. Ellie snapped her head towards him again at his familiarity with you. “This is who Tess was talking about? Seriously?” 
“Ellie--” Joel scolded, turning slowly to face you. His eyes moved from the dirt beneath him to meet your eyes, and that’s when he knew he really shouldn’t have come. You look a bit startled, a bit of anger rising beneath your gaze, as the realization of who you were talking to hit. 
“Are my eyes deceiving me, or is that Joel Miller before me right now?” A scoff accompanied your words. Joel gritted his teeth, a deep sigh rumbling through him. 
“Listen, I--” Your voice cut his off before he could even form a sentence.
“Give me one good reason why I don’t put a bullet between your eyes this very moment. I told you not to show your face to me again.” 
Ellie flipped her hands over, eyes narrowing. “Joel what is going--” 
“Ellie now is not the time.” His accent was cutting through thicker than usual, most likely due to the situation. “Tess told me to make sure you’re still alive and I figured, hell, we could use some help.” 
He saw your eyes roll, but you holstered your gun anyways. “Last time I talked to her, I told her to leave me be.” Your head moved towards the teen. “Who’s she?”
Ellie spoke up before he had the chance to. “She is none of your business.” 
“This is Ellie.” Joel lowered his arms back to his sides. “Listen, I know that we left each other on a lousy note, but--” 
You cut him off again, cussing under your breath. “Considering it a ‘lousy note’ would be putting it mildly. Plus, it was not a mutual leaving.” 
“Goddammit, can you stop interrupting me?” He closed his eyes in frustration, taking another breath to try to calm his nerves. “Can we discuss this inside somewhere? It took us too many infected to get here just for all of us to be out in the open like sitting ducks.” 
“Who do you take me for? You know damn well that I of all people would keep this place guarded.” He saw you shift into a more casual stance, slouching on on leg, hostility still present in your glare towards him. “Yeah, follow me. But--” you raised your pointer finger towards the two. “Don’t go off the path. I’ve loaded this place with traps that took way too long to set up just for someone to carelessly set off.” 
Walking behind you from a distance, Joel glanced around at the spot you had set up for yourself to live in. A nudge from Ellie brought his attention to her. 
“What the fuck did you do to piss them off so much?”
He took a second before answering. “I got them caught in a FEDRA ambush, not knowingly of course, but they didn’t stick around long enough for any explanations.” He looked at the old ruins they were all passing by--barns ruined by the bombs that hit non-quarantined areas, cars overgrown with that copper-tinted rust, wire lined up as defenses on all four sides of them. If it weren’t for the green that came with nature reclaiming what was taken from her, this place, this planet, would be a wasteland. 
Humans weren’t the only thing being destroyed. 
“Were you in a relationship with them or something?” She smirked as she spoke. 
“That’s not relevant information.”
Her smirk now fully forming into a grin, she continued with a chuckle. “Oh, you totally were!”
He grunted in response, quickly mumbling a “that’s none of your business” before quickening his steps to meet yours, partially to avoid any more questions, and partially to make sure you weren’t leading them to an untimely death.
As the trio strolled into the makeshift camp, Joel took another look at you. Age had done you well, and while he knew he was walking on ice thin as a sheet of paper, part of him was glad to see you. 
He was never that good with emotions--he had a tendency to close most feelings out besides the consistent fear and anger that came with living in this time, and people knew that. He wasn’t good with understanding that people cared about him, or that he cared for others. 
Not since Sarah at least. 
But for the first time in longer than he could remember, he felt something other than those two feelings blossom when he talked to you. He didn’t have a name for what he felt, but his shitty reality got a little better whenever you were around, and that had to mean something, hadn’t it? 
“I have some food in the kitchen if you two are hungry, down the hall to the left.” You called out, going to the right instead. He followed Ellie into the kitchen you had set up, her moving to rummage through anything she could find for the both of them. He was still lost in his own world, a world which was filled with nothing but memories of what life used to be. 
It was the Ellie’s voice that brought him back to the current moment, a trend he had begun to notice. 
“You think they’re beautiful.” Her words carried an sense of teasing around them.
Joel nearly choked on the air around him at her statement, the wind being knocked out of him just by her call out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“Except you do.” An accusatory finger pointed his way. “You get this...look in your eye that I can’t explain, but it’s the same look you get only when you see something beautiful. A sunset, a new weapon, them.” she smirked as she said the last part. 
“Have you found anything to eat yet?” Changing the subject was his next best option. Ellie hadn’t known him for that long and already she was starting to read him like an open book. He could see her little celebration at her victory as she turned towards the cabinets. “Go see if you can find any supplies or anythin’ of the sorts after the grub, and no more talk about this.” 
Taking one last look at the room, he went to go find you, which given the size of the establishment didn’t take very long. He could hear Ellie say “You like them!” in a sing-song manner as he left, and he opted to ignore her as he moved through the rooms. 
When he walked into the space you were in and saw you, he took a second to notice what had changed over the years. He wasn’t sure if you noticed him yet and was thankful for bit of quiet if he was being honest. He knew back then that had the two of you met pre-outbreak, he damn near would’ve fallen for you in a heartbeat, and Tommy would’ve made fun of him for it for hours. The way you held yourself, your personality, how you made an effort to care about him, well, needless to say he would have made a move much sooner than he did. 
You held his heart in the palm of your hand, and you didn’t even know it. 
Your hair hadn’t changed much, but if he looked closely enough, he could see some gray speckling its usual colour. He shook his head as he realized that the girl was right about his feelings towards you. 
Goddammit, Ellie.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” His eyes widened at the fact that he’d been caught by you, who turned around to face him with an eyebrow raised. When he didn’t respond, you disappeared into a little room to the right, emerging moments later with a wet cloth, handing it to him. He was never a man of many words, and you always respected that. “You smell, wash your face a bit yeah?” 
Taking it, a chuckle emitted from deep within him. “Good to see you haven’t changed much.” It felt good to feel the cool water on his face. 
“Joel, why are you here, seriously?” The way you looked at him made an unusual flutter erupt from his heart, not that he would ever admit that out loud. The effect you had on him made him feel like a goddamned high-schooler.
“She’s important, Ellie is, and I need to get her to the fireflies.” You scoffed at the last part, and you rolled your eyes, sitting down at a little table near the little room’s entry, motioning him to do the same.
“You know the fireflies are full of it. What, is she the daughter of some big wig or somethin’ like that?” 
He mirrored your scoff, slouching into the chair across from you. “Somethin’ like that. You just got to trust me on this one.” 
You raised an eyebrow and just slightly tilted your head in response. “Remember what happened the last time I trusted you?” 
He kept his mouth shut at that, a silence so loud that a clicker could walk through unalarmed, tension filling the air.
“I didn’t know that they were planning to sell you out, was just relaying information down the line.” 
He watched you as you pushed up from your chair with another roll of your eyes, stretching in the process. “Yeah, well you did. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to, but that was a real shitty thing you did to me there.” 
He heard you take a deep breath at his lack of response. 
“But I guess we’ve all done things we regret since the outbreak, so might as well let bygones be bygones, yeah? How about a fresh start?” When he met your gaze, he saw a brief whisp of a smile grace your features, going by so quick that he could have imagined it. 
“Yeah, I’d like that.” He felt a weight he didn’t recognize leave his shoulders, and maybe that’s why he spoke what he did next. “You could come with us, you know, to deliver Ellie. God knows she gets tired of me sometimes, and I wouldn’t mind the company.” He couldn’t control the words leaving his mouth and didn’t even process what he said until he saw your contemplating face. His heart was beating faster, and he cursed himself for acting like a boy with a little crush. 
“Plus, he thinks you’re beautiful!” A third voice rushed in, making the two others whirl to see Ellie standing in the door frame, eyes wide and locking with his almost as if he would stop her if she spoke any slower. Which he would’ve. 
“Ellie, I swear to all things holy you--” 
Your laugh makes his words die off, amusement echoing in its wake. “Always been the charmer, you have, Joel.” Walking to face him with the brunette behind you, you leaned in close to his ear before continuing. “A fresh start, right?” and then he felt it. You had placed a kiss right on his cheek, and a feeling he hadn’t felt since he saw you last rose within him. Looking at you with pupils slightly blown, he watched as you winked at him before heading towards Ellie. “So, he say anything else like that about me?” 
Not many could break the exterior he placed as a barrier for himself--it took some people years to even get a kind response out of him. But not even an hour after running into you again, and he knew he was putty in your hands.
Joel Miller was many things, and in love (whether he would admit that to himself or not), was becoming one of them.
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eternalbuckley · 10 months
Text
Don’t push me away. — evan buckley
SUMMARY: You got a visit from your old friend, Kelly Severide that you didn’t know about. He was an old friend from back then when you still lived and worked in Chicago. Little did you know that this visit might cause a jealous Buck.
word count: 4,179
genre: angst with a happy ending | gn!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly
warnings: angst, jealous buck, reader works as a nurse for kids (mentioned once or twice i think), severide and reader are friends but hooked up once (will be mentioned a few times), insecure buck (my poor baby), arguing, reader and buck raising their voices, use of pet name (babe), english is not my first language, hardly proofread — let me know if i forgot something!
a/n: i had to combine two of my favorite comfort shows and jealous buck. it was a NEED, might do it again in the future if i have enough ideas! but don’t worry: you can still read this story if you haven’t watched Chicago Fire! The story from there is not important for my story here, I‘m just using one of the characters! :)
a/n 2: And definitely bare with me for the length of this. It’s the longes fanfic I’ve ever written in my life. I actually had more ideas but didn’t know how to write them out. I hope you like it though! I am a true sucker for angst, I hope you get into your feeling with that story because I definitely did :‘) HAPPY READING!!
disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!
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Buck wasn’t supposed to react this way. He didn’t want to but he was scared because he didn’t want to lose you, again. He almost lost you months ago because of his insecurities that resulted into pushing you away. Buck didn’t want to end anything that he had with you like that but it happened again. And everything just because one of your old friends surprised you with a visit. Buck knew who your friend was. Kelly Severide.
You used to know him from work when you still lived in Chicago and you two grew close over time. One time it ended up in a hookup but it was after a heavy breakup from your former partner and Kelly was freshly out of a relationship as well. You were there for each other and it just happened but you didn’t decide to go further into that and stay with a close friendship. No weird or uncomfortable feelings. Kelly even helped you to pack your things after you decided to move away from Chicago to Los Angeles.
You sure did love Chicago even with its own thing that happened here and there. You loved the friendships you formed at work and in private. You even grew close over time with the other firefighters from Kelly’s work. But it was time for something new and Los Angeles was your decision. After your move, you needed some time to settle in. After all, you knew no one in this big city and it got you thinking of moving there and leaving everything behind you was the right decision.
But after you met Hen and Chimney you knew it was the best decision you ever did. You met them both at a bar giving out some drinks. They got you one as well and you ended up talking the whole time about each lives. You found out that both of them were firefighters at the 188 and you were looking for a job as a nurse. You knew you wanted to keep working as one since you liked it in Chicago. Especially if you were able to look after the kids there. Sure, it wasn’t always easy times but you wanted to help people and that was a good place to do it.
The three of you exchanged numbers and they invited you to come over to the 118 whenever you want to come over. After a few days you decided to visit them there and you got to know everybody else. Including Evan Buckley. Your now-boyfriend. You grew close with everyone and they welcomed you with much love. Especially your favourite person on earth, also known as your boyfriend. You started as friends and over the time you started hanging out together. Only the two of you and one day you asked him out on a date. With the help of Hen and Chimney actually.
They both noticed the admiring, stolen glances and heart eyes you and Buck gave each other when the other one wasn’t looking and they knew they had to do something. Buck finally needed to be happy again, after everything that happened with Taylor. From time-to-time Hen and Chimney started teasing you or Buck whenever you were alone with them. Or they teased both of you when you were in the same room. The blushed faces of you and Buck were the win of it for them and they knew they were on the right track.
You asked him out once you were alone. Well technically alone because you were sitting outside with him while the rest including Athena and her family were inside of her house getting ready the dinner. Before that Chimney and Hen were sitting with the both of you. Both of them shot you many glances towards Buck for you to finally ask him out because they knew he wouldn’t do it. He always told them 'They don’t like me in that way. They would never.' He was an idiot who was in love. That‘s why you had to make the first move. After gaining enough courage you gave them a glance to leave and they did.
You and Buck were talking about different stuff and after a comforting time of silence, you looked at him and asked him out. You were afraid he wasn’t ready to date again, after Taylor. But you had to shoot your shot, you didn’t want to gulp down your feelings anymore. You felt the most comfortable around Buck and he made you happy. He was your safe place. And you were his. He was blushing and told you he was waiting for this moment.
And in that very moment, you realized that it was the best decision to move to Los Angeles and make a fresh start. Because that‘s where you found your second family and the love of your life. Since then and many dates with Buck it has been two years. You recently moved in with Buck after he asked you to move in and you loved every second you were able to spend with each other. It has been over a year now since you asked him out.
It was a big surprise for you to see Kelly at your doorstep and smiling at you after you opened the door. You didn’t expect him there and especially not at this time. It was your day off with Buck and you wanted to spend it with him inside and some movies. So Buck wasn’t entirely fond of the sudden visit but he was happy for you. Kelly greeted him and apologized for interrupting any plans you might have had. You were happy to see your friend after some time again. You haven’t seen each other in a few months, perhaps it almost had been a year since you visited him and your other friends in Chicago. You missed them but everything that mattered was that you were happy. Here in Los Angeles, with Buck.
“I wanted to see where you live, Y/N/N. You’ve been telling us so much about this city, now it’s your turn to show me everything.” Kelly teased after you asked him what he was doing here. He still hugged you and you let him.
Your eyes went to Bucks who had a smile on his lips. He knew how much Kelly meant to you. The three of you spend the whole afternoon together. After a shower and getting ready, you went out with your friend and boyfriend. But the energy from Buck slightly shifted but you didn’t know why. And you didn’t ask him, you would have done it later. But you didn’t. You didn’t want to accuse Buck of anything and let it stay like that. Little did you know that you would actually regret this later.
Two days later you and Kelly visited Buck at the station. A place where Buck didn’t want to see him if he was being honest. He was already intrigued that he was at your shared home but seeing him at his workplace, knowing he was a firefighter too was something that made him feel not very good. But Buck wanted to be the good boyfriend he is and gulped down his feelings, he knew how happy you were having Kelly around but he was jealous about how happy he actually made you.
Bobby sensed how uncomfortable Buck looked and decided to have a talk with him in private. Buck told him everything and that he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to make you happy and if that meant having Kelly around, he‘d have to accept it. He wasn’t jealous of your friendship with him but about your past and it just made him more insecure about perhaps losing you. You were the light of his life. You made him the happiest person on earth and he didn’t want to lose that.
 At the same evening, you sat together with Buck and ate dinner together. You just brought Kelly to the airport and said your goodbyes. Of course, you were sad but now you had more time again to spend with your boyfriend.
"Babe?" Buck mumbled while he poked in his food and looked up at you.
You didn’t look up to him because you were too focused on eating but after he mentioned your name again you immediately looked up.
"Did you hear me?" He asked, slightly upset but he didn’t show it.
You shook your head. "I‘m sorry, no. Is everything okay?" You asked him, not sensing what would happen in the next few minutes.
The look on his face was serious and something was hiding behind his eyes. You knew that. "Not really."
You gulped down the food and worry entered your body. "Tell me what‘s wrong, babe," You tried to take his hand but he put his away. You put your eyebrows together, "Buck, what’s wrong?"
You started imagining all the different potentials that he could say at that moment. Many good ones but a lot of bad ones. What if he decided it wouldn’t work out between you two? What if he regrets it to let you move in with him? What if…
"We need to talk."
Yep, you were sure he would break up with you. You only nodded your head, slowly. You weren’t sure what you should say, so you let him talk.
"A-about Kelly."
You were confused. "What? Why? Did he do something?"
"Not exactly I-" He stuttered.
"Then what‘s the problem?" You interrupted him. You knew you should have let him finish whatever he wanted to say but you got into this defensive mood.
He sighed, not entirely knowing how to continue this. And seeing the stern look on your face made him regret that he even started to talk about it. Buck got up and took the plates to put them in the sink, you followed him.
You put one of your hands on his arm and turned his body to you. "Tell me what‘s on your mind, Buck."
He shook his head. "It‘s nothing. Just forget."
"You know I won’t. Tell me. Don’t push me away." You looked up to him, hoping he would give in and tell you what was going on in his mind.
"I don’t really like him, okay?!" He told you and you took a step back. Not knowing what to say.
"Why?”
He sighed and held the bridge of his nose. "I- I don’t like him. He‘s.." He stopped and looked at you. "He‘s an asshole."
"And you think that for what exact reason, Buck?" You laughed in disbelief and turned around. You went back to the table to clean it.
He didn’t like that you continued to call him ‘Buck’. Sure, it was his name but you barely used this name for him. Mostly you always used pet names for him unless you were talking about him with someone else obviously. But that you were using his name showed the importance of the current topic.
"I don’t like how he slept with so many peo-"
"Just like you did, Buck." You interrupted him. You couldn’t believe he was acting this way, especially right now. He could’ve said something earlier. Maybe before Kelly left Los Angeles. But that he was using this was the irony in itself.
Buck stopped talking and looked at the back of your head. He regrets that he even mentioned Kelly. He sighed and needed to find a way how to stop this conversation.
"If you‘re really upset about this then just forget it, Buck. It‘s in the past and I don’t care." You didn’t want to argue but you both were too upset at that moment. He didn’t say anything and just looked at you after you finally turned around again.
You sighed and continued talking, "I don’t blame you for having sex with so many people before we got into this relationship, so why is that such a problem for you?" You slightly raised your voice.
"Because of you, Y/N! Because he slept with you! That’s my problem, okay?! You and he had sex together," He admitted. His voice matched your tone now.
You looked at him, lips pressed into a thin line. "How do you-" You were confused. You didn’t tell him that but that’s when it all sense for you.
Buck obviously found it out because of Kelly himself. There was no other way because only he knew about it. You remembered how Buck started acting distant after he and Kelly sat alone together while you were in the shower. It was the same day Kelly surprised you with his visit. After you came back from your shower Buck's energy towards you and especially Kelly shifted. Now it all made sense.
"It doesn’t matter. That‘s in the past, o-okay? It never meant a thing." You tried to assure him. After all, it was the truth.
"But it does to me. It matters to me because I see how close you are and I have no idea what exactly happened between the both of you. I see how happy he makes you in a way I can never do." His voice got quieter with each word. Tears were slowly building up in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away.
You came closer to him and shook your head. "Yes, he makes me happy," You told him and put your hands on Buck's face, "But not as happy as you make me. Whatever happened between Kelly and me years ago doesn’t mean anything to me or him. He is married to a wonderful woman. And I am happily in a relationship with you. The only one I care about is standing in front of me and that’s you, Buck. I don’t care about anyone that much like I care about you."
Buck sighed, he was insecure. "But it could happen again."
Your face completely fell, just like your hands. "What did you just say?" You stepped away from him. Tears building up in your eyes. You shook your head, hoping he didn’t say that. "I can’t believe you just said that.”
Regret was written on Buck’s face. He gulped and wanted to take back everything he said in the past minutes.
“You think that Kelly is an asshole? How about you take a look in the mirror, Buck? Because the only asshole I see right now is just you." You said.
Buck gulped. He didn’t mean to say these words, it just happened. "I- I didn’t mean that. It just came out. I-"
He came closer to you but you held out your hand. Signing to him to stop his moves and he immediately did. Tears were building up in his eyes even more now. He didn’t want to lose you. But what if it was already too late for that?
"I can’t do this right now." You whispered.
"Please…" He whispered as well but you took your jacket and walked to the door. "Don’t leave."
You faced the door and didn’t dare to turn around. Because you knew that if you did you would break down crying.
"I didn’t mean it, babe. I‘m just-"
You deeply breathed in and had to take a moment. "I‘ll be sleeping at Hen‘s place tonight. We should step away from each other for now. To… To think about what just happened here." You left the apartment and after the door closed behind you, all that was left was Buck crying. He couldn’t sleep that night and the following nights were even more horrible.
After Hen saw you crying at her door, she immediately let you in. Karen and Hen were there for you. They always were whenever you needed someone to talk to. They let you stay at their house for the next few days and didn’t pressure you into talking. That you were staying at Hen’s house resulted in: her sending diggers into Bucks back at work. She knew what he said to you and wasn’t pleased with that. But she didn’t confront him about it, only because you begged her not to do it. Hen didn’t want to cause more harm into this but Buck knew that you probably told her what happened between you and him. He wanted to talk about it with her but whenever Buck tried to approach her, a new call sent them to an incident.
Buck was devastated. His energy wasn’t the same anymore since you left. Neither at work nor certainly not at home. All he could think about was you. Even more than usual. He needed to fix whatever was left between you. Buck didn’t and couldn’t lose you, just because of his jealousy and insecurities. You were everything to him. You were his safe place.
——————
It was late in the evening. Buck was with Christopher and Eddie in the apartment of you and him. Eddie came over with Chris to cheer him up and get him on different thoughts. That’s what Eddie told Buck but there was a completely different reason why he came over. Sure, they were there to cheer Buck up but after all, it was just because of you. It had been a few days since the argument between Buck and you. Not to forget to mention that you haven’t put a foot in your home since then. Only when you knew Buck wasn’t there as well. Thanks to Hen or Eddie texting you at work or when they were in Buck’s near and making sure you didn’t have to see him. You needed the time to think and make your decisions. You knew you’d forgive Buck but you were still anxious about confronting him about it. You knew he’d give you all the time you would need but you didn’t want to let him wait forever.
Buck and Eddie were currently watching Chris in the living room while he played one of his video games on the TV. Usually, you’d sit there with them and either play with Chris together or talk with the two men. Eddie was talking some sense into Buck's mind to fix this with you. He told him that everything would be fine and that you just needed time. Buck just didn’t know how he could fix this. Should he approach you at Hen’s house? Should he approach you at work? Or should he wait it out and hope that magic will fix this between you?
But luckily none of this had to be done because the next thing Buck heard were your keys opening the door. And there you stood. Nervous in the middle of the door. Your eyes met his. His eyes were filled with worry and regret. Yours were filled with sadness but love. You slightly smiled but it was more like your try to not be so nervous. You closed the door behind you and eventually looked at Eddie who was standing next to Buck.
"Hi, Eddie." You greeted him with a smile which he returned.
Eddie drank down the rest of his beer and called Chris so they could go. He already knew that you wanted to talk with Buck tonight, that‘s why he was here. You knew how much Chris meant to Buck, which is why you begged Eddie to be there and calm him down. You weren’t angry at Buck, just disappointed in him and yourself. Eddie agreed into helping you but didn’t tell Buck about it. Overall, you were happy to have such amazing friends.
"Chris and I just wanted to go," Eddie smiled and saw Buck's pleading eyes not to go.
Buck was scared but this didn’t faze Eddie at all. He just patted his shoulder. "You‘ve got this, bud." He whispered to him and called Chris.
You put off your jacket and watched Chris coming over to the three of you. His face instantly lit up after seeing you and he immediately hugged you after he was at your side.
"Hi there," You smiled down at him and hugged him back.
After saying your goodbyes to Eddie and Chris, they left you alone with Buck. A few minutes passed by.
"So..." You both said at the same time and ended up chuckling together. The air in the room was still awkward. Especially because you were still standing in the kitchen but so far away from each other that it might hurt but neither you nor him dared to step closer to each other.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N." He told you.
You nodded your head. "I know, Buck,” you bit down on your lower lip. “I am sorry as well. I shouldn’t just have left without calling you. The past few days have been-“
“Horrible.” You both said at the same time again. You both shared sad smiles with each other.
You looked at Buck with tears in your eyes. “I think we should have a talk.”
Buck's legs were like jelly after you said those words. Saying he was scared was an understatement. He was terrified. You both stepped a few inches closer but there was still a distance between you.
"I‘m not angry at you, okay? I‘m just.. I don’t know. Disappointed," You began, your voice and lips were trembling. "Not just at you. I’m disappointed in myself." You admitted and took a deep breath.
He put his eyebrows together and shook his head. "There‘s no need to. I understand if you‘re disappointed in me but-" He moved his body forward to you.
"I should have told you about my past with Kelly. About what happened back then and that I indeed had sex with him. If I would have told you the truth in the first place, then we wouldn’t have fought."
Buck slowly nodded his head, he didn’t want to interrupt you and let you continue to talk.
"When I tell you that it meant nothing, then it‘s the complete truth, okay? At the time when Kelly and I slept together, he just got out of a serious relationship and I…” You took a small pause.
“I basically had an identity crisis," You chuckled. "He and I had way too many drinks in our bodies and it just happened but it meant nothing. We don’t even talk about it anymore because it’s in the past." You looked at Buck with much love.
Buck realized he was an idiot, maybe a bit too late but hopefully not too late. "I‘m an idiot."
"Yes, you are. A very jealous idiot.” You agreed but smiled at him. “But I understand. I was once a jealous idiot as well because of you."
"What do you mean?" Now it was his turn to be confused.
You looked down, embarrassed of your next words. "I was jealous because of Taylor and you. Back then when we started to get to know each other all you had on your mind was her. And I was utterly jealous of that.” You looked back up to him. He was now closer to you. “Because I wanted to be the one you talk about like that. The one you look at with so much love and the one you‘re happy with. You have no idea how jealous I was when you told me that you both are together. I saw this as a sign to take a step back from you and that was also the reason why we stopped seeing each other so much." You sighed.
"And when you broke up with her, I was so happy. I could have used this for my own good but I didn’t because I knew what you needed was a friend. And then we just happened after we grew closer again."
He smiled at you now. "And now we‘re here. One year later."
You nodded your head. "I admit what you said hurt me a lot-"
"And I will regret this for the rest of my life. I was in the wrong place for reacting the way I did. I admit I was jealous and hurt that I had to find it out because of him and not from you. But I could have approached you differently. I’m so sorry, babe." You had tears in your eyes, one rolled down your cheek which he immediately wiped away. " I‘ll make sure to show you every single day how sorry I am for saying this and accusing you of-"
You hugged him without saying anything and he wrapped his arms around you to keep you close. You needed this. You needed to feel his warmth again. You missed him too much. And he needed it as much as you did.
"Please don’t ever leave me." You whispered.
"I could never," He kissed the side of your head. "And I would never. You‘re the love of my life."
You looked up to him. “And you’re the love of my life, Buck. And I couldn’t imagine a life without anymore.” As a reply, he kissed you with much love and desire he felt for you.
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cilliansdove · 11 months
Text
SHOUTING || tommy shelby fanfic ( part 2 )
pairings : tommy shelby x fem/reader
warnings : angst
rating : 16+
a/n: This is my writing and I take full credit for it so please do not copy x paste/rewrite the writing. You may repost/like/comment etc. Enjoy reading!!
part1 finalpart
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A day had passed since I had spoken to Frances. And it seemed that recently, it was only her and Polly that I could trust.
“You look different, Love,” Polly greeted, “Get your hair done, did ya’?”
I smiled at her and nodded, “Does it look alright? I was worried I got it done too short,” I shrugged.
Polly had always been there for me. Through everything. No matter the situation she always had something to say.
“It looks perfect on you, my girl,” Polly frowned, “Now don’t lie to me, Y/n, what’s happened? Your eyes are all puffy.”
Fuck sakes, Polly.
The tears began to pool in my eyes and she pulled me into her chest, “I don’t know what to do?” I questioned myself.
“Are you pregnant?” She queried.
“No, no, not pregnant,” I paused, trying to find the right words, “He…Tommy doesn’t love me anymore,” I sniffed.
It felt almost embarrassing to admit it. Especially to the woman who was like a mother. She knew everything about everyone. In particular, she knew a lot about Tommy and I.
Polly cradled me into her chest, “My dear girl, Tommy will always love you. In order to know that he does, I think leaving may be the best decision for you. Not forever. Just for awhile,” Polly stroked the back of my head, smoothing down my hair, “And when he calls, to say he misses your absence and calls to tell you he still loves you and needs you. Then. And only then. Do you come back.”
The fact Polly had to tell me this, broke my heart. I should of never fallen for Tommy. No.
He used to be so kind, so sweet. But within the days and weeks of business, he slowly became a bitter man. And whilst his face held such coldness, it was clear his insides didn’t. Sometimes I wish they did though.
My tears had dropped and smudged onto Polly’s clothing, “I don’t wanna leave you, Pol,” I cried.
I had no other family around. Everyone had gone. Or, was gone, at least. I didn’t have a single clue as to where they were.
“Stay here then. In secret. Nobody will be able to know though, Y/n, else none of this will work,” she lifted my chin up to look at her, “Do you understand?”
Nodding, I pressed my head to her shoulder and cried.
That’s all I remember doing for a week onwards. I cried, and cried, and cried.
The phone didn’t ring once. The house was silent whilst Polly was out. And I stayed at home, alone. Isolated myself in a confined room. Curtains, closed. Bed, messy. I hadn’t even brushed my hair once.
It felt as though I’d never get myself out. I hadn’t seen the sunrise or the sunset in a week. An entire seven days of pure darkness.
He didn’t care. It was obvious. So much for a husband.
Polly slammed into my room, “Y/n, it’s Tommy.”
My breathing increased at the sound of his name, “What about him? Why should I care?” I shrugged. Tears had fallen for a good seven days. Non-stop. I couldn’t even feel them anymore.
And those tears became silent too.
“No, no, Y/n. He’s not here,” Polly sighed, “He’s in hospital. And he really isn’t doing well, Love.”
I shook my head. I didn’t care a minute ago, why would I care now, “I don’t care, Polly! He doesn’t care about me so why should I just because he got himself stuck in hospital, ay?!”
I didn’t mean to shout. Guess that’s what seven days in darkness does to you.
“Besides, I’d probably bring him to the brink of death if I ever saw him again. I regret not hurting him the same way he hurt me.”
Polly rolled her tongue around her mouth, “You may not think it’s serious, Y/n. But the entire family is worried,” I stared at her. Silently.
“For fuck sakes, Y/n! Would you just-”
My telephone rang.
“You answer it.”
Polly shook her head, “You know who that is, you need to do it.”
I waited for Polly to leave the room, and picked up the phone, just to lay almost dead on the floor.
“Y/n? You there, Love?”
Tommy.
“I don’t want to speak with you.” I fought back the tears, angry tears, that were ready to fall.
“It’s not up for discussion,” he coughed, “I need to see you. Come.”
I laughed down the line, “Why the fuck should I come and see you, Tom?! You have done nothing but hurt me and yet I’m meant to continue to support you? Fuck off.”
I scoffed and hung up before I got the chance to hear what he said.
Tommy rang for me another three times before he gave up.
Polly had left again. Probably to see that beast of a man.
My bedroom door was flung open again. With Polly and someone else?
No.
“I told you we needed to speak,” Tommy approached me and I crawled backwards till my back hit the bed. So much for the hospital. Maybe I was lied to about him being hurt, again.
His presence itself was making me panic, “Stop coming closer.”
“Stop fighting me.”
He picked me up so I could stand. But then tried to embrace me.
“No, no, no! No, Thomas! You do not get to come here and try make amends. I don’t want you anymore,” I sobbed out. I couldn’t possibly love someone like him anymore. He was disloyal, lied, cheated, fucking everything, “Just get out.”
His face stayed cold. As per usual.
“I’m not leaving. Why would I? You’re my wife and you’re pushing me away.”
I gasped at his views, “Me? Pushing you away? I’m not the one who didn’t notice my new hair, or new anything. Or the fact I was drained and tired of your bullshit, Thomas! That’s all on you not me. So don’t come here to blame me for the shit that’s your fault.”
“I had busine-”
I cut him off sick of the crap, “Yeah, business! That’s all you ever have. Or is it? I’m pretty sure you have the barmaid all to yourself too. Maybe she should be your wife instead as I’m sure you’d much rather prefer that.”
He stared at me with an open mouth not knowing what else to say, “What?” I laughed, “You really thought I would never find out.”
“Y/n, that, it- I don’t know what to say to you.”
I pushed him slowly away by his chest, “You don’t have to say anything to me, Shelby. You can just leave.”
He didn’t turn his back. He just took two steps. Two fucking steps out the door. And left.
I was numb. I stared at the blank space where he was stood just mere seconds ago and suddenly ran to the doorway and down the stairs.
But my body was weak. It wasn’t used to walking let alone running. And so I collapsed.
Collapsed into the wall of the bend of the stairs. And hit my head, clearly.
Tommy hadn’t left when it happened, so all I can guess is that it was him who helped. But I don’t know. I only heard a few words before I passed out.
“You lay a single finger on that girl, and I’ll blind you myself, Thomas.”
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