#eldest daughter syndrome

[inkskinned]

it's hard to explain because inevitably you sound like an asshole, but some people are allowed to lose their temper, lose their mind - you're not, though.

when your friend never texts you first and misses your birthday and never makes an effort; you don't mind. you know she's struggling, and you want her to get the help that she deserves. you give her every excuse and every chance.

it shouldn't matter to you so much that people are always coming through for her. you want her to be happy, you love it for her. you love that her community rises up to the occasion. why does it bother you that when she snaps at someone, says horrible mean things - but two hours later, everyone is comforting her while she's crying. you know she's stressed. why do you kind of hate that she is welcomed back to her job, that her parents are endlessly wiring her money.

and you're - fuck, are you envious?

but when you don't text back, someone sits you down and says i know you're struggling, but you're being a bad friend. when you're too numb to show up for work, your boss just shakes his head. i'm sorry. i can't approve more time off. we have the company to protect. when you finally snap back at your family for making that shitty comment again, you're forced to apologize for being too sensitive.

god forbid you need something. people aren't used to you being the one asking. you're the giver like the book you hated; your pages all open and rumpled. you always have the answer, always have the solution. you are reliable, trustworthy. people like you don't struggle with things. you're supposed to be lifted by tragedy. you are given a maximum of 24 hours to grieve, and then you need to just behave at the party.

you can't read the giving tree without feeling like crying, and even that feels like it's too much emotion. like, nobody looks at you and assumes you're the tree; they'd name five other people before even considering you in the running. you're just there, never-asking.

your friend gets to say mean shit, that's just her personality. when you make a snide comment, you're just being petty. people laugh when your friend stands you up for another event; they say she's just like that. you were 5 minutes late to a meeting with friends and they were mad about it for the rest of the evening. your friend sets everything on fire; everyone applauds her through the ashes. you so much as light a candle: and suddenly now you're an arsonist.

you don't want your friend to suffer, though. the thing is that you just wish that the empathy and kindness your friend gets - you wish you had that option, that everyone offered you grace and money and a gentle reception.

the other day you were fighting down the bad urge; the void call, the end note. you tried-anyway. you went to the family event, tried laughing at the right moments. nodded and smiled and all of it. one of your siblings threw a fit, but she's allowed to, so everyone just rolled their eyes about it. you took 3 whole minutes to stand outside when you got overwhelmed. you literally set a timer about it.

in the morning you woke up to a text from your parents: you were a complete disgrace last night. idk what your attitude problem is, but you really need to fix it.

#writeblr #eldest daughter syndrome #tbh

[waokevale]

Raph did eventually stop abusing this power. Eventually.

12 years later and Splinter still has yet to lift this privilege.

#rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #save rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #rottmnt raph #rottmnt splinter #lou jitsu #rise raph #rise splinter #rise fanart #rottmnt comic #digital art #shenanigans #you can not convince me splinter has not done that in the past #i mean someone had to ground these kids #eldest daughter syndrome

[pain-is-my-game]

Parents really do traumatize you and then force you to reparent yourself instead of being a capable human being who can contribute to society like a normal person. Sorry I can't get a well paying job right now I'm trying to learn coping mechanisms.

#i will never care if you reblog #vent #tw vent #cw vent #parentification #toxic parents #emotional trauma #trauma #childhood trauma #trauma coping #childhood emotional neglect #eldest daughter syndrome #eldest daughter #parentified child #childhood neglect #thoughts to throw into the void

[punkeropercyjackson]

"It's cringe to make older sibling characters also parental figures to their younger ones,they're not like that irl!"Tell me you're not an eldest sibling without telling me you're not an eldest sibling

#i don't even mean parentification i did this to myself because birth parents are shit step one died and tons of younger friends are the same #so i stepped up for them and my bio younger sibs.this is the same as 'in///cest is normal' because y'all always make us child abusers w/ it #ENOUGH you know NOTHING so SILENCE ONLY CHILD!!!!!!!!! #siblings tag #eldest daughter syndrome #the batkids #nico percy and hazel #todosiblings #kurosaki siblings #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #percy jackson #nico di angelo #hazel levesque #dabi #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #todoroki shouto #ichigo kurosaki #karin kurosaki #yuzu kurosaki #batfam #pjo #bnha geekery #bleach #summerposting

[belovedgrayson]

So real. So true. The blessing and curse of being an eldest sibling is that you'll just assume that role for anyone who needs it for the rest of your life. There's no turning off eldest sibling mode.

#dick grayson #my little ball of burning sunshine #eldest daughter syndrome

[sonicspeeddemon]

The only 48 year old man to suffer from eldest daughter syndrome

#one piece #charlotte katakuri #katakuri one piece #eldest daughter #eldest daughter syndrome

[canthandlethishit]

tim: the longest lasting, most stable relationship I’ve ever had is with depression

jason: mine’s spite

dick: I meant like romantic relationships but go on

#just a 2am type of conversation about love and shit turned group therapy #idk whats dick’s longest most stable ‘relationship’ is like grief? winning. great hair. guilt #eldest daughter syndrome #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #red robin #red hood #nightwing #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally Getting Help (pt 13)

Masterpost

Danny was holding Jason’s hand so tight he felt like his fingers were creaking but Jason wasn’t about to say anything. They were waiting in the doctor's office for Danny’s first ultrasound and Jason was accompanying him as promised, if Danny needed to squeeze his hand that was what Danny needed to do then so be it, it was better the bolting, which it looked like he was considering. Leslie didn’t usually make people wait long but when she had an emergency she had an emergency, it didn’t matter that Bruce funded her clinic, and was sitting awkwardly in one corner, they could wait.

It had been decided that as Danny’s guardian and maybe boyfriend? Bruce and Jason would be the ones to go in with him, with Danny’s agreement of course. Jazz and Dick had both wanted to come too but they didn’t want to crowd the room or overwhelm Danny so it was decided they would stay close by but not come In. Just then they were waiting together at a cafe across the road in case they were needed.

“Alright, I’m sorry to keep you both waiting but you know how Gotham is,” Leslie said a little grim-faced and still stripping off bloody gloves as she walked into their room and tossed them into the trash can. “So, Danny right,” Danny nodded. “Will you come with me into a private room for your examination?” She asked, because of course she did, the phrasing too was carefully worded to not put him on the spot so if Danny was feeling at all threatened or uncomfortable about Jason and Bruce being there he wouldn’t be blamed for following her. 

“You don’t have to,” She added quickly when Danny looked panicked and clung to Jason so tight Jason couldn’t help wincing. “We can move forward with the appointment if them being here makes you more comfortable?” 

Danny nodded quickly so she nodded as well and sat down at her desk, opening a file on her computer. “So, you’re here for an ultrasound right?” She glanced over and Danny nodded again, he seemed to be feeling really shy, Jason had never seen him so nervous, Bruce looked worried. “But it says here you haven’t had a check up in years so would you mind if we do a general exam first? I would like to make sure that You are healthy before we move on to the babies.”

“Yes that’s fine, but you know I’m not fully human right?” Danny asked, she paused for barely a moment. 

“I was told you had some differences,” she confirmed gingerly. “What should I expect?”

“Well, my heart rate is naturally slower than it used to be, and my body temperature is lower. Like I get to ‘healthy human’ temperatures when I have a bad fever. I don’t know what else has changed, honestly. I’ve been avoiding the doctor ever since my accident because I knew how my parents would react,” he said sounding tired and resigned.

“Well then we’ll take today as a paceline and monitor changes. If you’re feeling well today?” She suggested, she probably would have liked to get a baseline before Danny was pregnant but obviously that was impossible. 

“Ya that’s fine, my heartrate is probably a bit fast because I’m nervous but I’m probably healthier then I’ve been in a while. I haven’t been getting into fights and I’ve been eating regularly after all!”

“Alright. I understand but there’s no need to be nervous. This is a safe environment, I won’t do anything that’s not medically necessary.”

“I know, if Bruce and Jason didn’t speak so highly of you I wouldn’t be here. They don’t seem to see eye to eye on much so if they both trust and like you you must be good,” Danny said with a little smile though he was still tense and pale. That anxiety wasn’t going anywhere fast. In the corner Brace gave a sort of strangled cough that had Jason glaring at him even though he didn’t really know what it meant.

“Alright, then let’s get started,” She said before she started Danny’s check-up, all of the normal things a doctor would do if a bit more thorough. Checking eyes, mouth, ears, heart and lungs, and reflexes, circulation and blood pressure. His heartbeat was slow and his blood pressure was low but Danny thought that was probably normal for him? She gave an unconvinced hum. “We’ll have weekly check ups and check it again then. If it’s sustained and doesn’t affect you then we can say it’s normal for you.” She agreed. 

“Alright, well based on the information you’ve told me I think we’ve established a baseline and you’re healthy. Are you ready for your ultrasound?” She asked and Danny took a deep breath, Jason, still standing next to Danny, squeezed his hand gently.

“Ya, as ready as I’ll ever be,” Danny agreed. 

“Thank you, just lay back and pull up your shirt please,” Dr. Leslie requested and Danny did as she’d asked as she pulled up the little monitor and set things up. In the background Bruce shifted so he could see the screen better. “There won’t be much to see,” Leslie warned, shooting Bruce a look as she applied the ultrasound gel. “It’s still too early.”

She put on a fresh pair of gloves and grabbed the wand, “Alright, let's have a look.” She said, pressing it carefully against Danny’s stomach. 

Danny had let go of Jason’s hand while he lay down but now he grabbed around for Jason again, without looking away from the screen now showing inside his abdomen. Jason stepped closer and grabbed Danny’s hand, looking at his face rather than anything else, monitoring for signs the trepidation there might be getting to be too much. He knew Danny was nervous, but they didn’t want this to progress into a panic attack. 

“There they are. Oh! Two, twins. You’re further along than I expected, 10 weeks by the looks of it?” She asked glancing at Danny who nodded. 

“Ya, I’ve only been carrying them for 6 but they’re test tube babies,” he confirmed, his eyes fixed on the screen. 

“Ah,” She sounded, nodding her understanding. “The little round things below their hearts are odd. Do they have two hearts? No, those ones aren’t beating…”

“Those are their cores,” Danny murmured before it seemed to hit him and he looked at Jason, his eyes wide with panic. “Oh my god I AM actually pregnant, it’s not just the cores, I’m pregnant, oh my god I’m pregnant,” he was starting to hyperventilate. 

Dr. Leslie pulled back and Danny practically threw himself into Jason’s arm who held him tight as Danny hid against his chest and trembled. “Do you want us to call Jazz?” Jason offered softly as he held Danny and let him cry.

“No don’t go,” Danny hiccuped against Jason’s chest. 

“I’ll call Jazz,” Bruce added, of course. He would want to help, he did care, but he never had any actual idea how to help. The emotionally unavailable bastard. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Dr. Leslie asked gently. “I would like to have a better look at the twins to check on their development but if you need time I can come back later, or even another day.”

“Just-just give me a minute, please,” Danny sniffled as Jason rubbed his back.

“Of course. I know this is overwhelming,” Leslie said gently. 

Jazz barged into the room and immediately hugged Danny a well, sandwiched safely between her and Jason. “Scruff him, it’ll help,” she told Jason, who nodded and squeezed the back of Danny’s neck. 

He shuddered and then started to relax between the two of them, basically letting the two taller, and trusted, people hold him up. His sobs turned into sniffles and then a few deep breaths. “Okay, okay I think I’m ready. I want to know that they’re okay too. I know their cores are developing well but if they have human bodies, we need to make sure those are healthy too right?” 

“Right. Do you want me to stay, or do you want Bruce to come back in?” Jazz asked gently. 

“No, you and Jason stay please,” Danny said softly. He had thought it was right for Bruce to come in as his guardian, but it was Jazz who had really been looking after him for years. “There’s not much to see right now, just little blobs. We’ll tell him how it goes.”

Danny took another breath and then squirmed out of both of their arms and went to lay back on the table, pulling up his shirt again. Jason stood next to the examination table, taking Danny’s hand again, Jazz went and sat on the table by Danny’s head and stroked his hair while Dr. Leslie applied fresh jelly to his stomach since it had been worn off during his panic attack. Jason might have to change his shirt after this.

“Alright, let’s have another look shall we?” She said with a warm smile as she pressed the wand against his stomach again. She found the babies again fairly easily. “They seem to be sticking pretty close together,” She said with a little smile. “They’re active little things! It’s far too early to tell anything else about them but from what you’ve told me they seem to be on track and developing properly,” She said, pulling back and offering Danny a cloth to clean the gel off his stomach.

“Do you mind if we call Bruce back in? As your guardian I’d like him to be here for you treatment plan?” She asked.

“Sure, makes sense,” Danny agreed with a nod. 

She nodded back and looked at Jazz, who nodded as well and ducked out to get Bruce. “While we’re mostly alone I want to know, do you know all your options Danny? You know you don’t have to carry them. They’re just embryos right now, not even conscious. Your health and safety comes first,” Dr. Leslie told him gently. She knew Jason was firmly pro-choice.

“No, I know,” Danny said with a little smile and a nod, looking down at his stomach and gently caressing it. “I know I don’t Have to do this. But I do want them. I’m already attached to them, you know?” He said looking up at her, worried that she would judge him. He hoped he was making the right choice, that he wasn’t ruining his life at 16 or something. Fuck he could be on that trashy tv show! 

“I understand,” She assured, no hint of judgment on her face. Of course not, if she could treat rogues without judgment she sure as hell wasn’t going to judge a teen parent. She glanced up as the door opened again and Bruce and Jazz entered. “Right,” Leslie said, sitting down at her computer and starting to type. “You’re still a little malnourished so I’d like to get you taking prenatal vitamins immediately,” she said, glancing up to see Danny nod. “With your unique condition I’d like to see you more often than usual, weekly visits would be best for now. Once we’re sure you and the babies are okay we can go down to every other week.”

“I don’t think we need to do that,” Danny said, shifting nervously. “I mean you say the human side is looking good, and my ghost doctor says they’re developing well on that side, if slower than usual. I don’t need to come in every week,” He said looking hopeful. 

She hesitated for a moment, organizing her thoughts and considering his words. “Even so, there’s clearly some bleed over that makes it hard to tell how healthy you are. I would feel better if you came weekly, at least for the first month so we can establish a true baseline.” 

“Alright,” Danny said, drooping again, looking back at Bruce. “Can you make the appointment? I want to go home.”

“Sure Danny,” Bruce agreed, pulling out his planner to check their schedule. 

“I’ll take you back to the manor,” Jason assured, using his grip on Danny’s hand to help him up. 

“I’ll go back to the cafe with Dick, we were having a good conversation, I wouldn’t mind continuing it,” She said, giving Danny a smile. “Unless you want me to come?”

“No, that’s alright. Have fun Jazz,” Danny said, leaning against Jason and letting him usher Danny out of the clinic. Jazz waved as she crossed to the cafe where Dick was waiting, looking worried till he noticed them, then he smiled and waved. Jazz waved back and jogged across, about to tell Dick all about the twins no doubt. 

Jason led Danny to his bike, and got on first, pulling Danny onto the seat behind him. Danny wrapped his arms around Jason and pressed against his back, half hiding from the world. Jason didn’t try to talk to him, he needed time to process. He would talk when he was ready to.

Next

#dc x dp #danny phantom #jason todd #fanfiction #trans!danny #trans pregnancy #teen pregnancy #dead on main #bruce wayne #jazz fenton #dick grayson #eldest daughter syndrome #that's what Dick and Jazz are called as a ship right? #finally getting help AU #Danny is pregnant #tw dysphoria

[audhd-nightwing]

i love when characters that are always the one protecting others, staying strong for them, putting others first- get to be taken care of. get to fall apart, get to be soft and vulnerable, get to be protected and loved just as fiercely as they protect and love the people they care about

#eldest child #eldest sibling #dick grayson #dean winchester #character tropes #eldest daughter #character analysis #iykyk #eldest daughter syndrome #steve harrington #tropes #fictional characters #fictional tropes #fanfic tropes #fic tropes

[novemberrage]

#catelyn tully #catelyn tully fancast #eldest daughter syndrome #web weaving #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #catelyn stark

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

all eldest daughters go insane around the holidays. we just do

#i can only imagine how much of a nightmare fiona gallagher would be #oldest daughter #eldest daughter #eldest daughter syndrome #christmas

[thoughts-of-a-caterpillar]

Like my mother

Like my mother

Like my mother

I need to be beautiful like my mother.

She's the most beautiful woman to have ever lived. But no one knows that except me because no one else has the same wounds as her like I do which can carry the entire truth of her existence. No one else has cried when she cried, bled when she bled, died when she died.

No one else has inherited her rage.

No one else has inherited her grief.

No one else has inherited her bloodlust.

Except me

So I need to be beautiful like her too.

I'll paint my lips to hide the crimson stains of spitting my own blood.

I'll darken my eyes to hide the bruises from nights spent with mania instead of rest.

I'll pluck out every imperfection in my brow until it no longer furrows for men who do not deserve it.

I'll put kajal on my waterline so whoever makes me cry has to see me in all my horrifying anger.

I'll powder up my cheeks to hide the tears my father never dried and put lotion on the skin that holds the scars from wounds I was too young to heal.

Like my mother did.

Because I need to be beautiful like my mother.

Even if it leaves me lifeless.

She has been lifeless for most of her life too.

#guddu writes #poetry #poets on tumblr #poets on desiblr #sad poetry #mommy issues #eldest daughter #eldest daughter syndrome #eldest daughter poetry #dark femininity #mother poetry #mother problems #dark poetry #mother daughter relationship #abuse poetry

[pain-is-my-game]

One of the worst realizations that I have ever made is realizing that all I ever wanted was to be loved by my parents. I never would've turned out like this if they just loved me unconditionally.

#i will never care if you reblog #vent #tw vent #cw vent #eldest daughter syndrome #eldest daughter #parentified child #parentification #toxic mom #cw toxic relationship #toxic parents #toxic mothers #toxic mother #toxic family #toxic father #toxic relationship #childhood neglect #childhood trauma #childhood emotional neglect #emotional trauma #trauma coping #trauma #wanting to be loved #i wanna be loved #sad thoughts #eldest sibling syndrome #eldest sibling #eldest sister #toxic thoughts #thoughts to throw into the void

[ourstaturestouchtheskies]

web-weaving — eldest daughter syndrome

Repose – John Singer Sargent // Eldest Daughter – Isabel Pless // Old Soul – The Highwomen // I Miss Her and I Blame You – MALINDA // Goodbye – MARINA // Surface Pressure – Encanto

Violet Sargent – John Singer Sargent // Study for Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose – John Singer Sargent // My Ego Dies at the End – Jensen McRae // You're On Your Own, Kid – Taylor Swift // The Hardest Part – Bre Kennedy and Hadley Kennary// Older Than I Am – Lennon Stella // seven – Taylor Swift

The Black Brook – John Singer Sargent // Eldest Daughter – Isabel Pless // 26 – Carol Ades // Eldest Daughter – Isabel Pless // You're Losing Me – Taylor Swift // champagne problems – Taylor Swift

Girl with a Sickle – John Singer Sargent // The Breakfast Table – John Singer Sargent // Surface Pressure – Encanto // Older Than I Am – Lennon Stella // Control – Bre Kennedy // Surface Pressure – Encanto // Old Soul – The Highwomen

A Dinner Table at Night – John Singer Sargent // this is me trying – Taylor Swift // Let the Rain – Sara Bareilles // The Hardest Part – Bre Kennedy and Hadley Kennary // Half Truths – JOSEPH // this is me trying – Taylor Swift

#hi y’all! it’s my birthday today!! 🥰 #to celebrate i decided to do a web weave of lyrics that really resonate with me #i ended up theming is around the concept of eldest daughter syndrome bc i am an eldest daughter lmao #but that was really more just so there was a coherent them rather than just ‘a bunch of random shit that charlotte likes’ #so uh yeah anyway — i hope you enjoy!! #eldest daughter #eldest sibling #eldest child #eldest daughter syndrome #john singer sargent #isabel pless #the highwomen #malinda #marina #surface pressure #jensen mcrae #bre kennedy #lennon stella #taylor swift #carol ades #sara bareilles #joseph #web weaving #web weave #art #art history #lyrics #lyric art

[dorkthoughts]

The eldest daughter urge to:

#eldest daughter #geet #jab we met #desiblr #eldest daughter syndrome

[itsthetism]

when they think they can hurt me, but i have an emotionally immature mum and an emotionally unavailable dad

#abandonment issues #academic validation #childhood trauma #daddy issues #burnout #eldest daughter syndrome #family issues #former gifted kid #gifted kid burnout #glass child #mental health #mommy issues