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fangurk · 3 years

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She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

#paul lahote #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #twilight wolf pack imagine #twilight wolf pack #twilight fanfiction #eclipse #twilight wolf imagines #embry call #jared cameron #sam uley

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benka79 · 3 years

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After Dark (We see the light)

Buddie Meta 911 503

Hello friends. Okay I told you this is gonna be a short meta bc we had just a little from Buddie at the end but it was very, very rich in visuals and body language.

Whispers: I just dissected the lockers buddie scene... 😏🔥

Just a few words about the kidnapping

I know we don't wanna talk about this ¡I don't wanna talk about this) but it was the main topic in this episode so I need to say a few words...

First of all, it was a very ugly and boring and weird way to show us this "storyline" as they described in the promo.

But let's rescue some interesting points:

-Another good neighbor helping by recording with her cellphone what was happening with Harry and his raptor. Again, neighbors saving lives just like they did in episode 502.

- Another hint to the idea that "no one is safe".

- Harry's kidnapping as a Foreshadow of Eddie being hostage in 507.

- The whole episode and the whole kidnapping process happened in the darkness. (Visual symbolism as I pointed in my previous meta here.)

- When Athena confronts Jeffrey she also makes a reference to darkness and light, and the firefam appeared illuminating the place. This is a reference about how the family they choose, the people they love, it's always there to support you and help you in bad moments too.

- When the woman asks Michael if Athena was his wife, he answers "Ex-wife", as a premonition of Eddiana break up at the end of the episode.

- The 118 unity assists a 911 call in which a man said his friend had been shot. This was a blatant reference to 413 and 414. The difference was the brachial artery.

- When the firefam goes to find Harry, we had a brief Buddie moment, again working together.

- Harry doesn't want to talk about his traumatic experience. (I talked about this in the previous metas with two characters with talking difficulties, as a Foreshadow for Harry.

- Maddie and her depression is taking relevance now that she thinks she is dangerous for her daughter. Imagine the pain she is handling thinking about this? I can't even...

The Light is Here

Time for some Buddie meta now.

First scene: the Lockers.

Buck sees Eddie coming out and smiles. This smile could mean a lot of things. But because this is a buddie meta, that smile is from someone that didn't expect find his crush still there. A nice surprise to see him again. Even when they were so many days together, you always celebrate the fact that you can have a little more of your crush, right?

Buck says he thought Eddie would be the first leaving because he had a little person waiting for him: Christopher.

The important thing here was the way Buck is talking to Eddie.

Look at him. He is smiling the whole time, eyes focused on Eddie. It reminded me that time in the kitchen. The fondness and the devotion towards Eddie are loud here. The longing, even when Buck implies "Hey Christopher is waiting for you, someone is waiting for you, that's awesome" it felt as is he wished he had that too.

But the smile, the soft gaze and even the voice he uses, is screaming Buck's yearn for Eddie.

Then we had Eddie avoiding Buck's gaze again.

Eddie had been thinking the way to break up with Ana. The seriousness in his face told us he had been thinking about it a lot. But even when he tried to find the word, he couldn't. He only stares at Buck to deliver a strong message.

When he mentions the name of Ana, sending Buck the idea of him breaking up right now, once he gets home.

The hidden message to Buck here is "Look, I'm following your advice, okay? I'm breaking up with her. I don't love her. And is happening now."

Then Eddie leaves and Buck's reaction is... priceless...

Buck is speechless. He can't believe it. First of all, because Eddie is following his advice. Eddie is not like Abby. Eddie is breaking up with her to release her. Eddie is honest. But then, he blinks nervously. Eddie breaking up with Ana means Eddie will be single again.

Remember season 4 opens with Buck saying "I don't tell people how I feel", who was these people? Well, his parents and Eddie. He even bought a book "5 languages of love" to learn how to express his feelings for Eddie. But Eddie started to date Ana, and every hint of being with him vanished. And that's why the sarcastic "What's Ana love language?" Full of Jealousy.

Now, Eddie is gonna be single again. And you can't tell me that reaction from Buck watching Eddie leave is not expressing exactly this: HOPE.

Even Athen mentions HOPE IN THE DARK in this episode.

Second scene: Honey, I'm Home

Suddenly, when the black out ends, we witnesses a continuum of parallels with people coming back home and family waiting for them. The first one is Hen, in video-call with her son. The kid is waiting for her after 5 days.

Then Athena's kids. Then Eddie having breakfast with Christopher and Ana...

And then we have Buck. And the contrast is HUGE. The writers made it blatant to show us BUCK IS ALONE. Even when he's dating Taylor, he is alone. Because Taylor is married with her job, and again, Buck is put to a side.

The irony in Buck's quote: "Honey, I'm home." Is representing his loneliness. His girlfriend is not what Buck wants for him. Buck wants to be seen (just like Norman) he wants to have what that old married gay couple had THAT'S LOVE. Buck wants his own beautiful love story. He wants a person who waits for him at home. That's why the yearn in his voice while he was talking with Eddie in the lockers. Maybe because he was imagining what wonderful would be to come back home together with Eddie and Christopher waiting for them.

This is the preamble to Buck/Taylor future break up. As I wrote in this spec post here.

So, Eddie already has the family he wants with Buck, but he doesn't know it yet, and Buck wants to have a lover who sees him for real. That person is Eddie, but he's not his lover, but his best friend. Well, not his lover yet.

Third scene: "I guess is your mess now."

Okay, we finally are in the Eddiana break up. I really felt sorry for her. Really. She was nervous at first, we can say it because her body language and the verbiage. Her body moved from side to side, trying to clean up the mess in the kitchen.

She knew what was going on. So she was the one saying it first. Eddie just added some few words about Christopher loving her, but the girl knew everything. That's why the talk was quick. There were no more words to say. She chose Spanish to say goodbye to him, because it was one of the things that they had in common, like a mechanism of defense. Then she says he is a great father. This is very important, because she knows Eddie was trying hard to fall in love with her because of Christopher.

But what caught my attention was Ana saying: "I guess it's your mess now" talking about the kitchen, but symbolizing the huge mess that will be Eddie from now on. And the mess is in the kitchen. The place in which Eddie and Buck flirted. The place in which Eddie looked at Buck so fondly as he interacted with Christopher.

That kitchen yells buddie. And it's a mess now. Because what is about to come my friends, is Eddie slowly realizing he is in love with Buck. Let's wait an see.

To Conclude:

Several storylines on the horizon, as the producers said. So we had Harry handling his post kidnapping trauma, maybe not talking about it.

Maddie and Chim story, with Maddie's depression and the seek of Maddie.

Buck's inner desire of being seen vs his relationship with a absent girlfriend.

Eddie rediscovering his sexuality through the realization of his own romantic feelings for Eddie, maybe will be expressed by a lot of Jealousy towards Taylor and some little fights over there. And Buck completely oblivious about Eddie's feelings.

Buenos Aires, October 6th 2021 9:21 AM

#buddie #buddie meta #503 #503 meta #5.03 #5x03 #911 #911 meta #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #ana flores #taylor kelly #athena grant #harry grant #maddie buckley #chimney han

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sugarmaplewings-fics · 3 years

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Baby, You’re Perfect

Pairing: BNHA Boys x reader

Warnings: Weight insecurity, negative body image/icky thoughts, body shaming from relatives, talks about skipping a meal once, general stuff like that. Kirishima’s reader is actively trying to lose weight. Cursing/language throughout (but mostly in Bakugou’s)

Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari

Author’s Note:

And here we have yet another request that is super old. I’m talking this has been chillin in my inbox for three good months. My sincere apologies, anon. And again, I’m sorry that that had to happen to you. Your grandma has no right to speak to you in that way. You’re making great progress and that’s amazing! Keep going strong, I believe in you. Anyhow, I had a lot of fun doing this request! We all need more chubby y/n on this website.

Yes, it says Hawks but I contacted the anon and we switched it to Denki bc I don’t write for Keigo (and we had a lovely conversation. they’re very nice :D).

Also the first two insults are things that have actually been said/done to me irl (hehe tasty self projection) and the last one in Denki’s is from an episode from Tuca and Birdie (it’s a good show).

Anyway, be nice to people. Respect others and speak to them as equals. We’re all human beings here, trying to get by. We’re also like a month away from 2021, I shouldn’t have to say that >:(

Happy Thanksgiving!

-Sugar

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Bakugou:

You couldn’t take it anymore. You were tired of their faces, tired of their words. You were headed home early, and you would not be sorry.

You didn’t hate your family. They could just be a little . . . difficult sometimes.

At first, it had gone well. You’d arrived at your aunt’s house yesterday for a family gathering and met up with everyone. They’d hugged you and asked you how you were doing. They’d even asked after your pro hero boyfriend, who you had chosen not to bring along for the purpose of spending some quality alone time with your family.

But then it happened; the thing you’d been dreading, the type of comment you’d hoped against all things you wouldn’t hear this time. But there it was.

You were nearly done preparing for lunch, helping to place dishes of food out in the backyard for your family meal. Your aunt was starting to serve people food, and you happened to glance up to see one of your cousins making herself a plate.

“Do you want any more?” your aunt asked your cousin, ready with her ladle.

“No, thank you, I’ve got enough.” Your cousin flipped her long perfect hair over a perfectly narrow shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to get fat like—” her gaze wandered over to you, meeting your eyes pointedly, “—some people.”

You faltered. Had she really just said that? About you? Well, it wasn’t impossible that it would come from her, but seriously? Today?

You swallowed a lump that had started forming in your throat, setting down the new stack of paper plates. Your aunt shot you a pitying glance. Was she even going to say something? Would she call your cousin out on her words?

No. She just moved on. Moved on like you should have. But something about it stuck with you. Your cousin’s words and implications rang through your mind, making you feel sick to your stomach. You shouldn’t let it bother you this much. You were doing better, both with your habits and your confidence. So why did it hurt so bad?

The darker thoughts you’d kept at bay began to come back; you were worthless, you were ugly, you were undeserving. Why wouldn’t they stop? Why was your stomach churning and your hand shaking? Before you knew it, hints of tears began to prick at your eyes.

No.

You weren’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing you this way. But you were no longer interested in staying, any sense of hunger leaving you for sick dread.

Next thing you knew, you had said an early goodbye and put your things in the car, headed back home. Maybe driving wasn’t the best idea, since now you were alone with your thoughts. But crying wasn’t worth it. It was a bad idea, especially since now was the time to focus on the road ahead.

You couldn’t have gotten home sooner, a sense of relief washing over you once you pulled into the driveway. You unlocked your front door, pulling your bags in behind you. You heard movement coming from the kitchen as you set everything down; the sound of the faucet turning off signaling to you that Katsuki had heard you come in.

Heaving a sigh, you tried to chase the negative thoughts from your head. They shouldn’t be there, and it wasn’t something to dwell on. You were home again, and you wouldn’t have to deal with your family for another few months at least.

Bakugou’s head peeked out from around the doorframe, double checking that it was you who had walked in. “What are you doing here?” he called, ducking back to whatever he’d been doing in the kitchen.

“Hello to you too.” You tried to keep the tartness out of your voice, but some of it must have crept back in. The sounds from the other room stopped again, and the house went eerily quiet. Huffing, you dragged your luggage into your shared bedroom.

You felt drained, that was the only way to describe it. You couldn’t even bring yourself to hang your clothes in the closet. Giving up, you laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. You couldn’t help but hear your cousin’s words ringing over and over in your head, reminding you of the countless years of both internal and external torment you’d gone through regarding your weight.

The sound of footsteps in the doorway made you glance down, registering a spiky blond head of hair approaching you on the bed. You said nothing as the mattress dipped next to you, indicating that Bakugou had come up on your side.

The two of you were silent together for a long moment, and a stolen glance told you that Katsuki was mirroring you with his head resting on his arms as he stared at the blank ceiling.

“Are you going to tell me what’s got you in this mood?” he finally asked.

You sighed. “My cousin can just be a pain sometimes.”

“She the one you were telling me about or is it someone else?”

“Same girl.”

“Hmm.” Bakugou continued to keep his eyes trained solely up above. “What did she do this time?”

“Called me fat.” You tried to keep your voice even. You were simply stating a fact. It shouldn’t bother you like this, right? Even so, the tears you’d been forcing back once again rushed to your eyes, causing your tone to pitch. You swallowed them down again, blinking rapidly. This wasn’t something to spend time crying over.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Katsuki said, a little unhelpfully. “I don’t want to see you hating yourself.”

You frowned at this. “I don’t hate myself,” you said, thinking about your words for a moment before you spoke them. “I don’t hate my body. It’s just that . . . sometimes I wish it looked a little better, a little different. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enough as I am.”

“Don’t tell me you think you’d be happier looking like everyone else.” Bakugou’s gaze had shifted from a blank one to a glare.

“I don’t know,” you said, shrugging. “It’s just . . . hard sometimes. Being like this.”

Finally Bakugou rolled to face you, taking one of your hands in his. “I know you . . . struggle with your self-image or whatever, but you can’t let it take over your life, got it? You can’t just waste it worrying about what everyone thinks of you. You’re never going to be able to please everyone, but if they’ve got a problem with you, then they can go fuck themselves. You want to know the one person’s opinion who matters most? Yours. You have to be the one who’s taking care of yourself.” Katsuki paused for a moment, absentmindedly fiddling with your fingers as he considered his words.

“You want to know who’s opinion is the second most important?” he continued, his voice starting to get a little more mumbly. “Mine. I picked you because I love you. I love everything about you, from your shitty, annoying personality to your gorgeous body. You are so much more than just ‘enough’ for me, so don’t go worrying about that. You’re everything to me, and you know that, right? I love you no matter what, so don’t let this ruin your whole day.” He kissed your knuckles, signaling that he had said his peace.

You smiled at him, a tear or two finally sneaking past your defenses. “How—how do you do that?”

“What?”

“Sometimes you say something horribly stupid and I swear I hate you, and then next thing I know, you’re telling me everything I need to hear.”

“Tch, I can be eloquent whenever I want. It’s a choice.”

“Alright.” You rolled over so you could properly face him. “Can I have a hug?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes, but nevertheless held open his arms. You happily snuggled into the hard, built muscle enveloping you, offering a beautiful contrast to your own soft body.

“Do you need me to talk to your cousin?” Bakugou asked. “I’ll do it.”

“Nah, let her go.” You nuzzled your nose into his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

______________

Kirishima:

You honestly expected your family to last longer when it came to keeping from upsetting you. Nevertheless, maybe you were being a little too optimistic. But come on, did they have to ruin everything the literal second you walked through the door?

Even after the scathing comment, followed by a half-hearted, hasty brushing off, you forced yourself to spend time with them. It wasn’t often that you got to see this half of your family, so you decided to ignore it with the rest of them.

But as you sat on the couch sipping tea, you were unable to focus on the light conversation buzzing around you. The event that happened mere minutes before played over again in your mind, causing you to wince.

You’d walked into the house, prepared to greet everyone and have a nice time, when your aunt looked up from her position on her arm chair. “Hello, (Y/N),” she’d begun. “Ah, look, you’re still fat.”

Your heart had almost literally stopped beating in your chest as you froze in the threshold. Had she just said what you thought you heard? You must have been mistaken, right?

Any positive anticipation you’d had of seeing your relatives had plummeted to your feet, and you strongly considered turning around in place and leaving without another word.

But you couldn’t do that, of course not. Then your aunt had begun to babble something about how it made you look cute like a baby, but her words had already done their damage.

You tolerated the rest of your afternoon with them, but it was a great relief to you when you were finally able to leave and go home. As soon as you pulled into your driveway, you exhaled a sigh of relief. It was over with, and it hadn’t been that bad.

Eijirou wasn’t home, but you knew he wouldn’t be long after you. You went about making dinner, knowing he’d appreciate it once he got home. He was always so tired these days.

Even so, as you stirred broth in a pot, your aunt’s words rang in your head. You vaguely remembered telling her about your weight loss a month ago. You figured you’d been making considerable progress, and you knew that no one was more proud of you than Eijirou himself. But had it really made a difference?

After a moment of fretting, you turned off the stove. You walked into your shared bedroom, flicking on the light. Your eyes caught sight of your reflection in the mirror. You frowned, going up to it. Turning your body this way and that, you tried to see if you recognized a change in your appearance. You lifted your shirt, only to wince at yourself and tug it back down. You pinched at your arms, your thighs, and your cheeks, growing almost angry at the way your fingers sunk into the flesh.

Maybe you hadn’t been making as much progress as you’d thought. Or the progress you had made wasn’t enough. Without you even realizing it, your mind began to toy with ways to speed things up. Guiltily, you found yourself wondering if Eijirou would notice if you just skipped dinner that night.

You shook your head to clear away the intrusive idea. No, that wouldn’t solve anything. Eijirou had told you that he’d help you lose weight the right way, so you’d stay healthy and be able to keep it off. It would be best to listen to him.

Still, you found your eyes glued to your reflection. You wouldn’t consider yourself vain, but there was something in the way that your eyes traced over your curves, wondering just how they might look on you if only you were a little smaller . . . .

Movement behind you in the mirror caught your eye, and you were quick to recognize a head of spiky red hair. You must not have heard Kirishima come in through the front door.

“Hello,” you said with less cheer than usual.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted you, coming up from behind to give you a hug.

You leaned back into his chest as you both stared at each other’s reflections.

“Checking out my perfect girlfriend?” he teased, referring to how your eyes continued to trace down your body. “That’s my job, you know.”

You snorted, gently rubbing at his forearm.

“So how was your family?”

“Okay,” you shrugged.

“I saw you left something on the stove. Are you doing okay?”

Oh, Kirishima. How did he do it?

You shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really have a good time there. Got a little upset is all.”

Eijirou frowned. “What happened?”

You took one of his hands in yours and began to play with his fingers, now determined to keep your eyes from catching another glimpse of yourself. “My aunt told me I was fat.”

You missed the flash of genuine anger that shot through Kirishima’s eyes. He knew this was something you’d struggled with for a long time. Your aunt had no business making comments like that about your body, especially now.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, deciding to keep himself calm for your sake.

You continued to fiddle with his large hands. “I just worry sometimes that I’m not doing enough,” you mumbled. “What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m just meant to look like this?” You sniffled, hating the sudden tears that were beginning to fill your eyes.

“Honey . . .” Eijirou spun you around and held you to his chest, running a hand down the back of your head as you finally let the tears slide down your face. You nuzzled into his shirt, appreciating the warm, familiar feeling of it. “Even if you weren’t able to lose more weight, you know I’d still love you, right?” he said in a tender voice. “I’d think you’re beautiful either way.”

He tilted your chin up so he could look into your eyes, giving you one of the most loving gazes you’d ever seen. “And besides, we’re not together because of how you look. I love you for you. I love your personality, and how you always say and do the cutest things.” He bent down for a quick kiss, caressing your cheek as he pulled away. “I love your laugh, and I love looking into your beautiful eyes . . . .” He kissed you again, beginning to gently guide your bodies to the bed at the other wall.

Eijirou laid you down in the center of the mattress, hovering over you as he went in for another kiss. “I love your body too. This body, just the way it is. I love how it feels to hold you at night—” he kissed your neck. “—I love your chest, your butt, your arms, your thighs—” he nuzzled his nose against your face and neck. “—your cute tummy.” He pushed himself up and gazed down at it with such a genuine expression of love, you almost started tearing up again. “The cutest tummy in the world. And I love it because it’s yours.”

With that, he bent down again and lifted up your shirt just enough to give it a little kiss. You couldn’t help but let a giggle slip from your lips, which only made his ruby red eyes dart up to meet yours mischievously.

“You like that? What if I did it . . . again!” He placed a second kiss in a different spot, going for another and then another. You broke out into laughter, the sensation of his lips and nose brushing over your sensitive skin making you squirm in his hold.

Soon, he was laughing himself. He nuzzled into your skin one last time and blew a raspberry against your skin.

“Eiji—!” you began to protest through a laugh.

“What?” He smirked at you, moving up and settling his chin in the valley of your chest.

You smiled right back at him, bringing up your hand to brush the backs of your fingers against his cheek. “I love you.”

Kirishima took hold of your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the backs of your knuckles as he looked into your eyes. “I love you too, baby.” He held your hand in his, getting lost for a moment simply looking at your face.

Eventually he sat up, laying down next to you and pulling you into his chest. “I’m proud of you too,” he told you, tucking your head under his chin. “I know you’re actively making a change for the better, and you’re doing really well. Results won’t happen immediately, you just have to stick with it sometimes.”

You sighed through your nose, taking his hand in yours again. “I know. I just get discouraged sometimes is all.”

“And I’ll just be here to put you back on track. You’ve got this, you know.” He hugged you tight against him, rubbing your back. “Are you hungry?” he finally asked. “I’ll help you make dinner.”

“Sure,” you said, chuckling lightly.

“What? We both have to eat, and you know me. I’m a hungry shark.”

You laughed again, leaning up to kiss his jaw.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“Yeah, a bit.”

“Well, there’s always more where that came from.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m here for you, okay?”

______________

Kaminari:

If there was one thing Denki hated more than anything, it was seeing you upset.

He could tell something was off the moment you came through the front door. You were too quiet, and that bothered him. When you finally made it up to your shared room, Kaminari was already watching the doorway for you.

He noticed immediately that your eyes were puffy and a little red. Even your posture looked defeated and slumped over.

“Hey, Denks,” you said once you noticed him stretched out on the bed. His heart broke even further when he saw you try for a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?” Kaminari got up, clearing the space between you so he could put his hands on your shoulders.

“I—I just,” you began to stammer out, feeling the flimsy dam you’d placed behind your eyes begin to falter. “I . . . don’t know if I want to talk about it right now.” You covered your burning face with your palms. “It’s stupid anyway. I shouldn’t let things like that get to me.”

Kaminari frowned, trying to figure out what might have made you so upset. But he wasn’t one to pry when it came to situations like these, and he knew you’d tell him on your own time.

Even so, he led you to where he’d once taken position on the bed, pulling you up with him. He knew that sometimes you simply wanted to be distracted from things, so he decided to do just that. Allowing you to settle in next to him, he picked his controller up from the covers again where he’d set it down.

You noticed he’d been playing Minecraft. You let yourself take a mild interest in his mining session that you caught him in the middle of. You watched him wander through a cave system; placing torches, killing the occasional zombie, and mining out various ores he happened upon.

What you didn’t see was how often he shot you glances, studying your face for any signs of you getting upset again. He saw when you finally took your eyes off his screen, frowning distantly as you twisted the material of the blanket underneath you.

Before he could ask you again what was going on, you opened your mouth to speak. “Do you think this outfit is too much?”

Denki faltered, confused. “No? What do you mean by that? I think you look really pretty.”

You pursed your lips. Clearly that wasn’t the answer you’d wanted. “I just—I don’t know.” You frowned and went back to avoiding his eyes.

“Are you going to tell me what happened today?” Denki asked. A sudden idea struck him. Before you could answer him again, he stood up on the bed and walked over to a shelf you kept just above it. He pulled down a large stuffed Pikachu he’d gotten you a few years ago, and went back to sitting next to you. “Would it be easier to tell him?”

Denki positioned the toy in his lap, grabbing hold of its little arms and letting it go through various motions, starting with a little wave at you.

You couldn’t help but snort at Kaminari’s antics, looking from the plushie to the curious but concerned expression on your boyfriend’s face.

“Your Pikachus are worried about you.” Denki lifted it up higher on his chest, continuing to fidget and wave the arms back and forth in a little dance. “You saw your family today, right? How did that go?”

Your face fell again and you shrugged. “It went well I guess. My grandma just said something dumb and it made me upset.”

Denki frowned, lifting the arms of the Pikachu so its hands were on its pink cheeks. “What did she say?”

You shrugged again. “I was messing around with my cousins and I said I looked like a snacc. And then she said that snacks were probably what made me so fat in the first place.”

Denki’s frown deepened. “That’s not very nice.”

“I don’t think she knew what I was talking about, to be fair. And maybe it’s a little funny. I mean, she’s not wrong.” You rested your chin in your hands, sighing. “It just caught me off guard. It’s a dumb thing to be upset over, like I said—”

“Hey.” Denki met your eyes. “It’s not dumb. You have every right to be upset.” He held his arms open to you. “Come here.”

You sat up, letting him embrace you.

“Do you need me to remind you how beautiful you are and how much I love you?” he asked from next to your ear. “Because I’ll do it.”

He took your shy smile as a yes, letting you settle back as he proceeded to lift up the stuffed yellow toy.

“Are you hearing this, bro?” he addressed it, throwing a serious look on his face. “The most gorgeous person on the planet is sad. We have to do something about it.”

Denki put the Pikachu’s paw on its chin, tapping it for a second before removing it again. “What’s that?” he asked it. “You have an idea?”

He lifted the toy to his ear, pretending to listen to it for a moment as he nodded along. Once he was satisfied, Denki scooched himself even closer to you. He brought Pikachu’s nose up to your cheek and made a kiss sound with his lips. Setting the toy down beside you on the bed, he motioned for you to come sit in his lap.

You obeyed, settling yourself in between his thighs and wrapping your legs around his hips.

“There you go,” he muttered, slotting his nose beside yours as he touched foreheads with you. “I love you and you’re the most important person in my life. You know that, right?” He waited for you to nod before continuing. “And I know that you can feel a little insecure sometimes with how you look. You’ve got bad days, and you have good days. It’s my job to be there for you on these bad days, and you can be there for me when I have mine. I want you to know that you’re so beautiful and I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

He connected your lips to his for a long moment, trying to convey all his feelings for you into it. “And don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re less-than. They’re not the kind of person you should be listening to. Trust me when I say that you’re perfect just being you.” Denki wiped a tear trail off your cheek with his thumb, leaning in to kiss the skin there.

“Thanks, Denki,” you said, your voice just above a whisper.

He gave you a soft, caring smile; his fingers still lingering on your cheek. “Is there anything you want to do together to make you feel better? We could watch a movie, we could snuggle, whatever you want.”

You leaned in and hugged him tight. “I love you.”

He hugged you back. “I love you too. You’re my sunshine nugget, and it would take a heck of a lot to ever change that.”

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Taglist: @basicaegyo @fourteenow @iiminibattlehero @katsugay @nabo39 @onepieceask @pyrofanatic @sendhelpimstupid @xoxopam4

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sarahlancashire · 3 years

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Hello! I recently watched Last Tango in Halifax and Happy Valley for the first time (both were brilliant) are there any other of Sarah's show you recommend?

oh wow okay let's see

be warned that those are two of the best things she's been in; some of the others are also very good but i'm not really sure any are AS good; some are fair to middling; and some are outright awful but anyway i digress, on with the show (under a cut bc this is quite long)

since you mentioned those sally shows, in terms of dramas:

kiri is fantastic, but it's also really dark and horrible so like beware before you go there

rose and maloney is ....... good, in an itv way (i. e.: the continuity is basically non-existent and the quality of the show itself fluctuates so sometimes it's better than other times, also she stopped wearing my favourite wig of all time after series one which is a travesty tbh) and also rose linden and i like ... share a soul, she's very important

all the small things ( / heart and soul) is quite sweet, and her character is an angel, plus there is singing! a choir sings blink-182 songs! that's great! the show as a whole is like. not my FAVOURITE, but good enough? i do LIKE it, but i don't love it

clocking off is quite good, i think? it's certainly alright, at least (it's been a long time since i watched it oops) and her character is fantastic. the most remarkable thing about it for me personally is the cast (sarah? lesley sharp? siobhan finneran? yes thank u, also lots of other famous british actors are in it, like pam ferris, maxine peake, sophie okonedo, ashley jensen, christopher eccleston, phil glenister, john simm, ricky tomlinson, and so on)

i really do like the rotters' club, it's really good even though the protagonist is a teenage boy, and the characterisation is excellent; also sarah doing a birmingham accent? is there anything she can't do tbh

i've watched like .... one or maybe two episodes of where the heart is; what i've seen of it was okay? quite sweet? but i haven't really seen enough to judge

not a recommendation even at all bc it's literally the worst thing i've ever seen but i wish someone had warned me beforehand so i'm warning you: also beware of the glass; it's beyond awful + watching it was torture

+ other genres:

chambers is a great sitcom which was first on radio + then also on tv

seeing red is one of my favourite things she's done; it's a tv movie but it's very moving and just a great thing to watch; i found it uplifting

gentlemen's relish is another tv movie and is really, really adorable (ik the title sounds explicit + horrible but the film itself is nothing like that, plus her character is a literal angel who also becomes a suffragette, what more do u want)

back home (more tv movies, anyone?) is another sweet story; she plays a mother whose daughter comes home after having been evacuated to america during the war

angel cake is yet another tv movie and it's funny and quite good

the paradise is a period drama series which she ultimately (and quite rightly) chose last tango in halifax over, but still worth giving a go

her episodes of inspector george gently and doctor who (she's in one of each) are also worth watching, for entertainment value and also watching her slay at every opportunity

you should definitely also listen to the betty blue eyes soundtrack / look for clips bc. you just. SHOULD. trust me

#disclaimer: i haven't seen the accident yet #i'm a fake fan #sarah lancashire #yes i am putting this in her tag #i've sat through the glass. i've EARNED IT.#thank u and good night #anonymous

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teenwolffanclub-me · 4 years

Text

Season 1, Episode 12: Code Breaker

Hey there beautiful reader! If you’re new here, this is a series I’m writing where each chapter is an episode from the first season of Teen Wolf. If you’ve been here before, hey! I missed you! Previous and future chapters are linked at the end of each part if you want to catch up.

Pairing: Stiles x Psychic! Reader

Warnings: two very justified character deaths

Notes: I feel like I blacked out and now we’re somehow on the last episode. Not sure how that happened so fast but here we are. Just prepare yourself bc this one is entirely too long but I didn’t want to do two parts 🤷‍♀️

Does anyone want me to continue with Season 2? Please let me know bc I won’t do it unless people are actually interested.

I also wanted to give a shoutout to everyone who has sent me nice comments and showed love on this series. It’s meant the absolute world to me!

Okay now let’s get some closure!

————————

I walked through the hallways of the high school, using every ounce of willpower I could muster to keep my eyes firmly planted in front of me.

The pressure of dozens of curious stares weighed on my back as I made my way toward the lockers briskly. From the moment I walked through the doors a few minutes ago, all eyes had been on me. I squared my shoulders and forced my head to remain up high.

If people wanted to gossip, they could go right ahead.

My pace quickened as I heard the unmistakable sound of judgmental whispering behind me. I pinched my eyes shut tightly and tried my best to block out the irritating noise. I just wanted to get my books and go to class. At least there, I would see Scott, Stiles, and Allison.

Once I reached my locker, I shakily dialed in my code and popped the small metal door open. I instantly stumbled back, my eyes going wide as a shit ton of dirt came spilling out. I stood still for a few seconds, blinking slowly as I tried figuring out what the hell just happened.

With a frown, I wiped my hands against my jeans, which were now covered in the stuff. My eyes flickered down toward the pile of soil on the tiles in front of my feet, my brows furrowing in confusion.

How the hell did that much dirt get into my locker? How did any dirt get into my locker?

I glanced around the hall slowly, anxious to see my classmates reactions. I was already the weird girl after everything at the dance. I didn’t want to be the even weirder girl who keeps dirt in the locker.

A surprised breath left my lips as I saw that the halls were now completely empty. I turned all the way around, peering in both directions, but there wasn’t a single soul here with me. My head started pounding and I winced at the unexpected sensation before rubbing at my temples gently.

I swiveled back toward my locker, wanting nothing more than for this day to be over. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this yet. I instantly froze at the sight of a single purple flower sitting in the middle of the dirt pile. I was almost certain it hadn’t been there a moment before.

My heartbeat thrummed loudly in my ears as I reached a trembling hand inside the small space. I tentatively plucked the plant, which I easily recognized as wolfsbane, out of the soil. My eyes flickered around the purple leaves and long, green stem as my confusion only grew.

Just then, an ear piercing scream echoed through the halls. I whipped around, instantly going rigid when I saw that I was no longer in the school, but standing in the middle of the lacrosse field.

I glanced around the empty stadium, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Did I suddenly develop the ability to teleport? Or was I losing my damn mind? My eyes trailed downward as I felt cool air brush against my legs. My breath hitched as I saw that I was wearing my formal dress. The navy fabric was covered in blood and dirt, the strap on my left shoulder torn to shreds.

A bolt of fear licked up my spine as I heard rustling directly in front of me. My gaze slowly swept upward before landing on a pair of glowing red eyes that were illuminated in the shadowy distance. My eyes pinched shut as terror coursed through me when they started moving closer.

“It’s not real.” The mantra was a shaky whisper as my body trembled. “It’s not real. It’s not—”

Just then, my eyes jerked open on their own accord. I bolted upright with a harsh gasp, my throat constricting painfully as I sputtered and coughed a few times. One of my hands came up to clutch at my chest as I tried desperately to catch my breath.

Only a split second passed before Stiles flailed into a sitting position beside me. He whipped his head from side to side with wide eyes, as if searching for the cause of my panic. Once his attention landed back on me, he instantly pulled me into his chest and began murmuring lowly.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” One of his hands rubbed at my back while the other cradled my head against him.

“Lydia...” I gasped, my breath coming out in quick, trembling spurts. The dream had been some sort of vision or clue...it just had to be.

“Lydia’s alright, okay? They’re gonna find her.” Stiles’ fingers threaded through my hair and massaged my scalp soothingly.

“What? What is it? What happened?” Scott’s head suddenly popped up at the foot of my bed, his hair so messy it looked like he’d been hurled through a tornado.

“Another nightmare.” I breathed, feeling my heartrate dropping back down to normal as Stiles’ hands continued rubbing against me gently.

Scott sighed from the floor, his shoulders sagging in relief. One of his hands came up to massage the back of his neck and he grimaced uncomfortably. “Cool. Is it my turn on the bed yet?”

“You can curl up down here if you want, like a good puppy.” Stiles smirked at his own joke as one of his hands left me to point toward our feet.

“Scott, just go sleep in your own bed. It’s literally right there.” I gestured to my window, which faced his, and slowly pulled away from Stiles.

As much as I would love to stay in his arms forever, I had to learn to get ahold of myself on my own. They couldn’t keep babying me. Both of them had done nothing but obsess over my health from the moment I was discharged out of the hospital two days ago.

Scott had refused to leave my side since I’d gotten home, other than the brief moments he made appearances in his own house so that his mom knew he was still alive. He insisted it was to keep an eye on me, and that was partially true, but he was also basically in hiding right now.

Jackson, being the wonderful friend that he is, somehow found the time to tell Mr. Argent that Scott is the beta they’ve been looking for, kindly adding on to our reasons-life-is-currently-terrible list.

“And let you guys have all the fun without me?” Scott mumbled sarcastically and leaned back to lay on the pillow and blanket I’d set up for him on the hardwood floor.

This had been our routine for two days. Mom banned me from having any visitors while I recover, but that hadn’t stopped Scott from staying or Stiles from sneaking in after school. Each night, I could barely make it through a few hours of sleep at a time before jerking awake from yet another nightmare. Or maybe they were visions. I honestly had no idea.

My days had also been...weird, to say the least. Most of the time, it was hard to tell whether or not I was awake. My sense of reality was seriously fucked up. I was having almost constant visions and dreams, and they never made any sense. It felt like my subconscious was trying to tell me something, but in another language I had yet to learn.

Lydia was still missing, and I was beyond worried sick. Sheriff Stilinski and the entire police department had searched every square inch of Beacon Hills over the course of the last two days, and hadn’t found a single trace of her.

Aside from that shitshow, I also hadn’t spoken to Allison since the last time I’d seen her at the dance. No one had, actually.

Scott—when he wasn’t fawning over me—was losing his mind because apparently while I was being a dumbass and getting myself bitten, Mr. Argent somehow made him shift in front of Allison. Then, he shipped her and Kate off to an undisclosed location until further notice.

I’d sent her a few texts since being home, but she only responded once. The words had replayed in my mind over and over for several hours after reading them as I tried figuring out an acceptable response.

You knew the whole time, didn’t you?

I eventually decided not to answer at all. What could I say? I’d kept something huge from her, although it was never really my secret to tell anyway. She had every right to be pissed off. I wanted to address it in person and, honestly, didn’t have the mental capacity to worry much about it right now.

I blinked a few times, feeling myself come back from my dazed thoughts as Scott and Stiles’ voices fluttered back to my ears. I’d been doing that a lot, too. Getting lost in my mind for several minutes at a time, if not longer. I felt a curious gaze on my face and took in a slow, deep breath before lifting my head to meet Stiles’ eyes.

My heart clenched uncomfortably in my chest at the look he was giving me. It was the same expression that had been etched into his face ever since I’d woken up in the hospital. It was like he was afraid I would try to kill him at any given moment, while simultaneously worrying that I’d suffer a mental break or croak on the spot.

I heard the rumbling sound of snoring from the floor and knew that Scott was already out cold again.

“I’m sorry I woke you.” I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. I glanced at the alarm clock on my bedside table, noting with a regretful wince that it was three in the morning. He had school in only a few hours.

Stiles’ eyes inspected me tenderly, rounding with concern as he reached out to tuck a stray clump of hair behind my ear gently. “I wasn’t sleeping. You stole my pillow, so...”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He apparently couldn’t sleep without the thing and had brought it with him each night. It was quite possibly the most adorable thing ever.

“I’m still sorry.” My voice was barely above a whisper as I looked down toward my lap and fidgeted with my fingers.

Ever since I was bitten I’d felt...different. Like a burden. Out of control. It was as if my mind was warring with itself all day, every day. I had a constant nagging fear that I was forgetting something important. It was like it was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn’t remember.

Stiles leaned toward me slowly and cupped my cheek before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. His fingers trailed down to brush against the side of my neck before tangling in the hair at the base of my skull. His free hand came up to the other side of my head and he pulled it down against his chest. My eyes fluttered shut as a sigh left my lips.

A sense of peace always washed over me when he was near. Despite everything going on, all it took was a small touch to quiet my racing mind. I felt myself relaxing, if only slightly, in his arms. A moment later, I leaned back to look at him again, my stomach fluttering at the intense gleam of worry shining in his caramel eyes.

“There’s something wrong with me, isn’t there?” My voice broke and I furrowed my brows as traitorous tears filled my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to get better.

Stiles glanced fleetingly at the place where Peter had bitten me, but jerked his attention back to my face quickly, probably hoping I hadn’t noticed. “Whatever it is...we’ll figure it out.”

Somehow, his response wasn’t all that comforting. I didn’t doubt for a second that he’d be there for me every step of the way as I went through whatever this was. I’d watched how he helped Scott during the early stages of his transformation, and it was admirable. But I didn’t want there to be anything wrong. I didn’t want there to be anything different about me.

I just wanted to be normal.

“C’mere...” Stiles opened his arms and I couldn’t help but instantly fall into them.

He pulled me tight against him and leaned back, snagging his pillow from my side of the bed on the way down. My eyes fluttered shut as I laid there on top of him, my legs between his and my head resting above his heart.

I listened to the steady rhythm of his pulse, feeling it lull me to sleep within seconds.

————————

I leaned back against my headboard, adjusting the book that rested atop my knees. My bottom lip was tucked between my teeth anxiously as I flipped another page. I narrowed my eyes as they swept over the words, urging my mind to comprehend them. I just couldn’t. I was way too distracted.

My eyes flickered up to find Scott lounging in my desk chair across the room. He was playing some game on his phone and it was making this annoying boing sound every few seconds. It was starting to drive me crazy, but it wasn’t the only thing causing my jitters.

I glanced away from him to look out my open window and sighed heavily. It was already dark outside, and Stiles wasn’t here yet.

It wasn’t usually like me to jump to conclusions, but considering the state of our lives right now, it wasn’t a stretch to be worried. At this point, though, I was moving toward a full on panic attack. School ended six hours ago. What could he possibly be doing?

I opened my mouth to voice my concern, but never got a chance as Scott interrupted me before I could get even a single word out.

“He’s fine.” He said absently, his eyes never leaving his phone’s screen.

My eyebrows twitched up in surprise. “How did you know...”

“I can hear your heart racing.” He sighed and finally dropped his phone onto my desk before lifting his eyes to meet mine. “You either just ran a marathon, or you’re worried about something. That something is usually Stiles. And he’s fine.”

I rolled my lips into a tight line at the way he’d just read me so easily. “But it’s already—”

Just then, something thumped outside my window loudly. I stiffened at the sound, and Scott perked up in his chair, instantly on high alert. There was a low groan before a figure clambered through the opening. I instantly knew it was Stiles as I caught sight of his red flannel. He flailed to the floor spastically with a yelp and I slammed my book closed before bolting to my feet.

I rushed to his side, my arms wrapping around him as he struggled to get up. His chest heaved with ragged breaths as if he’d run the whole way here.

“Where were you? Are you okay? What happened?” I couldn’t stop the panicked words from tumbling past my lips.

My eyes trailed over him quickly to assess for any damage. His freckled cheeks were flushed and the top three buttons on his flannel were undone, exposing his white undershirt. He looked a little roughed up, but not hurt.

He finally stood up straight and his eyes widened when they met mine, as if only just then realizing that I was beside him. He gripped my upper arms sternly before walking me backward.

“What are you doing? Get back in bed.” I had no choice but to plop down onto the mattress as the back of my knees ran right into it.

“Don’t change the subject, Stilinski.” I frowned up at him and his eyes twitched in warning.

“Oh, God. Please don’t make me listen to another who’s more worried about who fight. I might seriously puke this time.” Scott practically threw himself onto the bed beside me, a look of feigned disgust taking over his face.

My eyes swept toward him and narrowed into a glare only briefly, as my attention moved back to Stiles when he started talking again.

“Moving on.” He sent a pointed look Scott’s way before continuing, his hands gesturing quickly in front of him. He was anxious, that much was obvious. “I had a uh...talk with Chris—”

“Who?” I interrupted, thrown off by the unfamiliar name.

Stiles’ eyes twitched at me in annoyance as he flailed one of his arms in a circle, signaling that we didn’t have much time. “Argent.”

“You call Allison’s dad Chris?” My voice rose in disbelief. Since when was that a thing?

“Oh my God. This is important, okay? He tried to get me and Jackson to tell him where Scott is and—”

Scott sprang upright on the bed, his eyes wide with alarm. “Why were you with Jackson?”

“Can I just finish? Is that alright with you two?” Stiles’ voice rose in frustration, his eyes pinching shut for a brief moment after he shouted.

Both Scott and I froze and he sighed before running a hand down his face. His gaze flickered to Scott as he extended a hand out apprehensively. “He’s literally planning to kill you. Tonight. Okay? So you can’t—”

Scott suddenly rose to his feet, his face tight with determination. “I need to find Derek.”

Stiles’ fingers curled into a fist, still hanging in the air, as he pursed his lips when Scott brushed past him. “Why do we keep going back to him? He’s like your abusive ex, okay? You have a problem. And did you miss the part where I just said you could be murdered by werewolf hunters at any given moment?”

“If the Argents are after me, he’s the only one who can help.” Scott braced his hands against my windowsill and turned to glare at Stiles over his shoulder.

Before either of us could ask him what he was doing, he doubled over with a low groan. I realized he was shifting and tentatively slid back on my mattress, not sure what was going on. I knew he would never hurt me, but I hadn’t seen anything supernatural since being bitten. It instantly had me on edge.

Then, he jerked upright and howled loudly into the dark sky.

I winced at the deep, rumbling sound, feeling a painful twinge in my head. One of my hands came up to cradle my temple as my lips parted in a silent gasp. The noise was vibrating all the way in my bones, overwhelming every one of my senses. I felt myself slipping away from the present, my eyes wide but unfocused. I faintly registered an arm wrapping around my back as Stiles rushed to kneel in front of me.

His free hand cupped my face, his lips moving rapidly as he tried to bring me back. I suddenly had the strong urge to close my eyes, so I let them flutter down slowly. Instantly, my breath caught as an image of Derek’s house popped into my mind. There were way too many things happening to decipher any of it. My brows furrowed as I tried making sense of what I was seeing.

The clearest picture was the most gruesome. Blood. Everywhere.

A painful spasm in my left shoulder had my eyes jerking open. They met Stiles’ wide, panicked gaze as he hovered only a few inches away from me. With a snap, his and Scott’s voices rushed into my ears.

“What the hell did you do to her?” Stiles practically yelled, his voice tight with anxiety and a hint of anger. His hands were clutching my arms as he jostled me awake.

Scott appeared at his side above me, his face crumbled in horror. “I-I didn’t do anything! I didn’t mean to...”

“I think I know where to find him.” I interrupted breathily, blinking a few times to focus my eyes. I sat up with a groan, my head pounding harshly. Stiles tightened his grip on me as he tried to keep me steady. “His house. I saw it.”

Scott’s face dropped from beside me, his brows furrowing as his lips pulled into a frown. “So did I.”

We shared a long, curious glance. I had no idea what that meant, and judging by the glint of wonder reflecting in his eyes, neither did he.

“So we’re just not gonna talk about whatever that was?” Stiles asked incredulously. He e took a step away from me and shrugged sarcastically with a tilt of his head.

“We don’t have time.” I pushed myself up to my feet and strode toward my closet hurriedly.

It was freezing outside by now, and I wanted to be prepared for once. I rustled through my sweaters until I found one I didn’t mind ruining. My shoulder protested each movement as I wrestled it over my head, but I tried my best to ignore it. I turned on my heel to face the guys and froze at the looks they were giving me.

Scott seemed hesitant, but didn’t look like he was going to argue, while Stiles was very much unimpressed.

“That’s funny.” He laughed humorlessly and pointed at me. “It looks like you think you’re going somewhere.”

I frowned at his demanding tone. “I’m sorry, are you my mother? No? Okay. That’s what I thought.”

I brushed past him to find a pair of socks in my dresser. If he thought he was going to start telling me what to do just because we’re dating, he had another thing coming. My eyes flickered up to meet his in the mirror as I heard rustling behind me.

“You can’t seriously—” His mouth opened and closed a few times as he tried to find the right words. I pulled out a mismatched pair of socks and turned to lean against the dresser as I slid them on. “Scott, tell her how stupid this is.”

“Hell no. I’m not getting involved.” He glanced between us with wide eyes, lifting his hands in surrender.

“If we don’t go now, Derek is going to die.” I forced the words out through clenched teeth, growing impatient. Somehow, I knew that’s the future we were up against, despite not having actually seen it happen. I just knew.

“Since when do we care about that?” Stiles swiveled his head as his eyebrows rose in question.

Scott stepped forward, suddenly looking pensive. “I’m not going to just let him die.”

“I’m the only sane one left...” Stiles muttered to himself, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

After several more minutes of pointless arguing, a very disgruntled Stiles finally agreed to drive us to Derek’s. The three of us had barely made it a few steps outside the Jeep before he came barreling from the house, looking unpleasant as ever.

“What the hell are you doing? None of you should be here right now.” His angry voice echoed through the trees as he continued stalking forward until he stood right in front of us.

“Finally, someone’s making—oh my God!” Stiles didn’t have a chance to finish his thought as an arrow came out of nowhere and embedded itself into Derek’s shoulder.

My eyes widened in shock and I whipped around just as another arrow came from the trees to land in his thigh. He crumpled to the ground with a groan, clutching at his injuries.

“Close your eyes!” He shouted and tucked his face into his elbow.

Long fingers clasped around my bicep and I was jerked to the side before another hand shoved my head into a warm chest. I screwed my eyes shut tightly, a quiet boom sounding beside us. Stiles and I separated quickly to see what it was, but my eyes landed on Scott instead.

He was crouched down on all fours, blinking rapidly. He hadn’t been fast enough. He squinted into the distance and I followed his line of sight, but came up empty.

Derek grunted lowly as he broke off the shafts of each arrow that still lay inside him. He stumbled to his feet and grabbed Scott by the collar of his jacket. “Get to the house!”

Stiles and I didn’t hesitate to obey as we bolted in that direction, our hands tangled together. We only made it about halfway before Derek slumped to the ground behind us, exhausted. I staggered to a halt at the sound and nearly lost my balance when Stiles continued moving.

His eyes flickered from me to the place where Scott and Derek lay crumpled on the ground in a moment of hesitation. With a grimace, he let me go and we both jogged their way.

“No! Go!” Derek’s head popped up and he tried waving us off, but it was too late.

I froze, partially crouched beside him, as a thin figure emerged from the darkness. She was stomping toward us with a huge bow slung over her shoulder. The dim light from Derek’s porch illuminated her face as she neared us, and my breath caught in my throat. It was the last person I expected to see.

“Allison, I can explain—” Scott immediately stammered desperately, still trying to get his bearings after being stunned by the flash bullet. I realized at then that it was the same type she’d tried out with me and Lydia the week before formal.

“Stop lying.” She barked, her voice tight with built up anger. Her eyes flickered up to meet mine, my chest tightening at the intense betrayal swirling inside them. “All of you, for once, stop lying.”

“I was gonna tell you the truth. I was gonna tell you everything at the formal.” Scott rushed the words out in a panic as he shuffled backward to match each step she took toward him. “Everything that I said...everything I did...”

“Was to protect me.” She finished with a humorless scoff, fingers tightening around the arrow she held at her side.

“Yes.” He instantly confirmed, pleading with her to understand.

I knew exactly how she felt. Being kept in the dark sucked, no matter which way it was spun. Maybe she had been safer this whole time because she didn’t know. Or maybe all his secret did was create an irreparable wedge between them. She was bound to find out eventually, considering who her family was, and this whole mess was probably the worst way it could’ve happened.

Allison’s eyes glistened as she peered down at him, her hardened mask of hatred cracking just slightly. Her voice trembled as a few tears escaped down her cheeks. “I don’t believe you.”

“Thank God!” I jumped at the sudden voice from the darkness, and watched as Kate stalked out of the tree line with a roll of her eyes. “Now shoot him before I have to shoot myself.”

My heart leapt into my throat at her words. With Scott dazed and Derek seriously injured, there wasn’t much we could do to stop her from killing either one of them. The reality of our situation hit me like a ton of bricks. Stiles and I were utterly useless.

“Y-you said we were just going to catch them.” Allison sputtered, head jerking toward her aunt in surprise.

“Yeah, and we did that. Now we’re going to kill them.” Kate raised an arm absently and shot a bullet right into Derek’s chest as she passed by, not even sparing him a glance. “See? Not that hard.”

I gasped at the unexpected act of violence, my jaw going slack. He instantly fell against the damp ground, motionless.

Holy shit. Oh my God. Is he actually dead?

Allison’s horrified expression matched mine, more tears coating her face as she stared at Derek’s lifeless body. She stiffened when her aunt joined her in front of Scott, who was still gaping from his crouched position.

“Oh no, not that look.” Kate mused, not sounding the least bit genuine. “That’s the you’re going to have to do it yourself look.”

She raised her gun toward Scott’s chest, a manic grin pulling at her lips. I moved without thinking, taking a big step in their direction. Allison instantly started freaking out and tried to put herself between them, but Kate shoved her away harshly.

She tumbled to the ground just as a hand clasped around my wrist to stop me. I yanked against it, my chest tightening with panic. I had to get over there. I had to help.

“Y/N! Y/N, stop!” Stiles yelled frantically from behind me, his hold falling loose as I continued struggling against him.

I ran forward and staggered to a halt beside Kate, who was still pointing the gun at Scott, having no idea what to do now that I was here. She glanced toward me and sighed with a disinterested roll of her eyes. Before I even fully registered that she moved, I was already on the ground. She’d whipped the gun against the side of my face harshly, white hot pain instantly rippling through my head.

“No!” I heard Allison shout in horror.

A groan trembled past my lips as I shakily pulled myself up onto my elbows. My vision blurred as Scott jerked upright, about to rush to my side before Kate aimed the gun at his chest again. He froze, his wide eyes never leaving me. I brought a hand up to my temple and hissed when my fingers landed on a warm trickle of blood.

“Ah, ah...” Kate tutted, amusement shining in her eyes as she glanced behind me, gun following the movement.

I turned my head and saw Stiles freeze mid-sprint toward me. His eyes narrowed into an angry glare as his jaw clenched tightly, but he didn’t move an inch. I let out a huff, growing frustrated by this whole stupid situation, and swept my gaze back to Kate.

“Just shoot someone already.” I barked, annoyed with her games.

Was it stupid to taunt the person with the weapon? Yes. Did I give a fuck? No. At this point, I was more angry than anything. We’d spent months fighting and tracking the alpha—Peter—as he went on a bloodthirsty rampage through Beacon Hills. We’d nearly died in the school, and at the movie store, and in these very woods. Several times.

Lydia and I had been bitten, and Stiles’ dad was close to a nervous breakdown because nothing in this town makes any goddamn sense unless you’re risking your life everyday just by knowing about the supernatural. And now, we had to deal with Allison’s batshit crazy family, on top of everything.

I just wanted it to be over.

Kate huffed out a surprised laugh and pointed the gun at me again. “What poetic last words.”

“No! Leave her alone! I’m the one you want.” Scott shouted desperately, stumbling upright from his position in the dirt.

An evil smirk twitched at her lips as she ignored him. I watched her pointer finger tighten on the trigger and held my breath as I waited for the inevitable.

“Kate!” A deep voice boomed from behind me, making her pause. I instantly recognized that it was Allison’s dad. “I know what you did.”

The amusement dropped from her face at his words and her eyes flickered up toward the house for a brief moment.

“Put the gun down.” Mr. Argent ordered, dried leaves crunching beneath his shoes as he walked toward us.

“I did what I was told to do.” Kate jutted her hand toward me as she enunciated each word curtly.

I stiffened, very aware that her finger, which still rested against the gun’s trigger, could set it off at any moment. My pulse hammered in my ears loudly and my entire body began trembling as my fear suddenly caught up with me.

“No one asked you to murder innocent people. There were children in that house.”

My mind raced as I slowly pieced together what he was saying. The fire. It was Kate. But why? Why would she murder an entire family?

“Ones that were human. Look what you’re doing now, you’re holding a gun at sixteen year old kids. No proof they’ve spilled human blood.” He continued, his voice harsh and unfeeling. “Now, put the gun down...before I put you down.”

My eyes widened at his threat. Would he really kill his own sister?

Kate stared at him for a few long moments, her face crumbling in disbelief. Finally, she lowered her arm back down to her side. I let out a heavy breath of relief, but didn’t move from my crouched position in front of her. A loud creak from the house had everyone’s attention jerking toward it.

The front door swung open slowly, nothing but darkness behind it.

“Kids, get back.” Allison’s dad ordered gruffly as he cocked his gun and aimed it at the decrepit structure.

Scott stumbled to his feet, but didn’t make a move to run and hide as instructed. Allison joined his side a moment later, her bow and arrow cocked and aimed at the house. I heard quick steps behind me a moment before strong arms wrapped around my waist and hauled me to my feet.

Stiles whipped me around to face him, and I winced as my head throbbed in protest. His hands came up to cradle the sides of my face, his fingers turning red as my blood smeared onto his skin. His wide eyes flickered around my body frantically, as if not fully believing that I was right here in front of him.

He suddenly jerked me toward him and smashed his lips against mine, pouring every emotion he’d just gone through into the kiss. I responded instantly, my hands fisting the warm material of his flannel as I pulled him closer. It was over much too soon as he pulled back with a shaky breath of relief.

“God, I’m so mad at you right now. I could literally kill you.” His eyes twitched as he continued inspecting me for any hidden injuries.

“Wouldn’t that be a little counterproductive?” I chuckled despite the situation, and he just glared at me.

“What is it?” My attention jerked back to Allison at the sound of her panicked voice. I’d nearly forgotten what was going on outside the peaceful bubble that was Stiles.

I turned back toward the house and saw Scott’s eyes flash bright yellow as he peered through the opened front door. “It’s the alpha.”

At his declaration, a huge black mass raced out of the house, moving impossibly fast. It dashed around the area in a big circle before turning abruptly and knocking Mr. Argent right off his feet. He flew into the air before landing heavily, instantly passing out cold as his head slammed against the dirt.

Allison cried out and made a move to help him, but quickly found herself in no better shape as the alpha rammed into her next. Only a second later, Scott was groaning as he lay in a heap beside her on the leaf covered ground. My heart slammed against my ribs painfully as my head whipped from side to side, trying to see where he was now.

All the air rushed from my lungs as a powerful force shoved against mine and Stiles’ sides. His arms instantly wrapped around my waist, and mine around his shoulders. We held onto each other tightly as we flew several feet through the air. At the last second, Stiles shifted us so that he would take the brunt of the fall. He hissed in pain as his back slammed onto the dirt, and I quickly scrambled to get off of him.

“Come on!” Kate’s angry voice echoed through the trees as she jerked her gun around in a circle. She was the only one left standing.

I wrapped an arm around Stiles and helped him sit up. He waved me off, muttering something about being fine, and I huffed in annoyance. At this point I was convinced that he was physically unable to help himself from downplaying his own struggles.

I was about to argue with him, but froze when Peter emerged from the darkness to stand threatening behind Kate. He snatched the arm that held her gun and wrenched it behind her with ease. She grunted in pain as he twisted it with a snap, two shots firing into the sky as they struggled.

She had no choice but to release the gun. It landed on the ground with a dull thud as he gripped her by the throat and tossed her in the air like a ragdoll. She crashed onto the porch, a cloud of dust rising all around her as she shakily pushed herself up.

Peter wasted no time in striding up the broken steps. He bent down and grabbed Kate violently before pressing her back to his chest, holding her in place with his claws at her neck.

“No!” Allison suddenly shouted and sprinted toward them.

My eyes widened in horror. What the hell did she think she was doing? I made a move to follow her, but Stiles wrapped both arms around my waist tightly. I pulled against him for a few seconds, but stopped when Peter’s voice echoed toward us.

“She is beautiful, Kate. She looks like you, only not as damaged. So I’m going to give you a chance to save her.” My breath hitched as he addressed Allison and I started thrashing against Stiles again. I couldn’t let her get hurt. I couldn’t let anyone else I care about become one of his victims. “Apologize. Say you’re sorry for decimating my family, for leaving me burned and broken for six years. Say it, and I’ll let her live.”

A tense moment of silence passed as Kate seemed to weigh her options. Finally, she choked the words out the best she could. “I’m...sorry.”

A small, satisfied smile tugged at Peter’s lips before he ripped her throat out with his claws. My jaw dropped as blood splattered across every nearby surface, my stomach churning at the violence of it all. Allison screamed, practically doubling over in horror as Kate crumpled to the porch with wide, empty eyes. Peter’s shoulders sagged as he let out a long sigh, a look of relief washing over him.

“I don’t know about you, Allison, but that apology didn’t sound very sincere.” His amused gaze bored into her wide, glistening eyes as he stalked down the steps.

By the time he had one foot on the dirt ground, Scott and Derek were crouched in front of her protectively. I hadn’t even noticed that Derek was still alive, let alone completely healed, but I was more than grateful.

“Run.” Scott grunted over his shoulder, and she didn’t hesitate to listen.

She sprinted toward me and Stiles, taking her bow with her, and immediately crumpled into my arms. A harsh sob wracked her body as I pulled her in tight. I felt Stiles’ hand on my back as he guided us hastily toward his Jeep. A few animalistic growls and roars sounded from behind us, and I knew they were fighting.

“I’m sorry.” Allison cried, pulling away from me to wipe at her face. “I’m so, so sorry. I-I didn’t know what happened with you and Lydia, and now Kate’s gone and—oh my God. I’m the worst friend ever.”

Stiles wrenched the passenger door open when we reached the car and I shoved Allison inside before crawling in behind her. Something snapped behind us, and I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d just uprooted a tree or completely destroyed the house.

“It’s okay.” I breathed, running a hand down Allison’s back as she continued blubbering. “We’re both terrible friends, honestly.”

“Wait.” She suddenly perked up, her eyes widening in horror. “My dad.”

Damnit. I‘d completely forgotten about him.

I turned to peer out the window and winced as Peter picked Derek up by the ankle and tossed him through the air. He crashed into Scott, who was trying to pull himself upright a few feet away, bringing him right back down harshly.

Peter snarled, seemingly losing control as he hunched over and shifted fully into a huge, terrifying beast. He roared loudly, baring his claws and stalking forward. He grabbed Derek by the throat and threw him into a nearby tree before turning back to Scott.

“I have to do something.” Stiles suddenly spoke up from the front seat. My head whipped in his direction as he threw open the driver’s side door and clambered onto the ground.

“What? No!” I immediately tumbled out behind him and watched with baited breath as he reached into the trunk.

My brows furrowed as I caught sight of a huge beaker in his hand. I barely had time to register that here was a yellow liquid swirling inside before he hurled it at Peter. As it flew toward him, I realized it was a Molotov cocktail, like the one Lydia showed us how to make when we were stuck inside the school. Peter caught it easily, his glowing red eyes snapping our way with a ferocious growl.

“Oh, damn...” Stiles instantly deflated and took a tentative step back.

My eyes widened as I whipped back around to face Allison, an idea suddenly popping into my head. She seemed to know exactly what I was thinking as she reached for her bow and instantly nocked the arrow into place. After taking only a moment to aim it out the opened window, she fired.

It hit the glass bottle dead center, and Peter’s left arm erupted in flames. He roared frantically and tried shaking the fire off, only managing to make it spread across his torso more quickly. Soon, his entire body was ablaze as he staggered around and howled in agony.

After a few long, torturous moments, he slumped down onto his knees in his human form. Thick smoke billowed from his charred skin as he sputtered and gasped for air. We all stood impossibly still, gaping at him in horror. I don’t think any of us had the slightest idea of what to do next.

Derek suddenly emerged from the house, his face a tight mask of fury. He stalked toward Peter, who now lay on his back, and stood over him with clenched fists.

“Wait!” Scott rose to his feet and stopped only a foot away from them, his eyes wide with panic. Derek’s hard glare never moved an inch. “You said the cure comes from the one who bit you. If you do this, I’m dead. What am I supposed to do?”

My attention snapped back toward him, surprised at his words. There was a cure? I had no idea what he was talking about, but it must’ve been important if he was this freaked out over it.

Derek’s eyes pinched shut and his jaw clenched tightly. He hesitated for only a brief moment before raising a clawed hand in the air.

“Wait! N-no! Don’t!” Scott's desperate plea fell on deaf ears as Derek brought his hand down to slash Peter’s throat.

Allison gasped from beside me, and I just stared ahead with wide eyes. My breath caught in my throat as I watched yet another person’s life fade away right in front of me. It was almost hard to believe, that he was actually dead. We’d all been through so much. It didn’t seem possible that it could all be over, just like that.

There had to be more.

Derek staggered to his feet and turned to glower at Scott over his shoulder. His canines elongated and his eyes flashed bright red before he uttered the words we were all dreading. The ones that would seal our fate for the foreseeable future.

“I’m the alpha now.”

Episode 11 Season 2, Episode 1 (Part One)

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pendragaryen · 4 years

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The things that stay with us...

This was supposed to be my last BFSN-post while the show is still airing - the last BFSN-entry right before the series finale. But now it’s just... a FSN-post? Call it a Big-Hug-post. A Hug-Gratitude-post. Or whatever you prefer. Though in my heart Bellarke will ALWAYS be canon (and nothing can ever change that): They didn’t give it to us in the actual show (a show, whose narrative clearly told us otherwise all this time, but well.. whatever...). It’s too much honour to grace such a disappointing last season with a BFSN, dearies. (Or... even more so now? ;P ) So, call it what you like i guess! ;). Honestly, i didn’t want it to end.. just like that... without any last words to you, the kindest, most tolerant and beautiful minded fandom i’ve ever been (proudly!) a part of since 2016. (The selfie lies. It’s not current. I’m sorry, i can’t show you my face these days.. This is from the day just before it all went inevitably down with this season: BB’s death. So... enjoy: That smile’s for you, fam! ;) 2nd pic: The tattoo i got almost two years ago now, on Sept. 22nd 2018, and that never fails to remind me of my emotional support person and the fact, that after every “down” in life there will come an “up” again <3<3<3 )

What makes the whole experience of this last ever season of The 1OO for me so incredibly sad is.... Well, please bear with me if you will... My english STILL isn’t the very best... But i’m trying to put my feelings into words:

Last year, when we got the news that S7 would be the final season, i DREADED this moment. I was AFRAID of this last day (and the hours) before the actual finale. And why so? Bc I am a person, who’s an incredible loser when it comes to let go of the things i love so dearly. Like The 1OO. I... in times i was OBSESSED with it, with the story, with the chacracters and the way they’ve been written, so credible, so tangible in their actions, nothing was just bad or good and even the villains actions had been understandable to some extend. It was amazing! I felt with almost every character! I LOVED it. (And to be very clear here: I’ll never STOP loving The 100′s 6 seasons, that are still existing for me!)

But what i wanted to say is: I dreaded the moment when l would have to let it go. THat inevitable moment, when this show with all its storylines and characters, that have been a part of my life for the last years and that i love so dearly, really ends. Forever. It would end and i wouldn’t be ready to let go, bc it means the world to me. Bc it changed me in more than just one way - no, even better, bc it made me want to change myself! “To do better...” *ugly crying...* THis show SAVED me in a way and in a time, where i was in a very dark place in life, in a very dark mind space (constant illnesses, termination of my job due to these illnesses, an ugly lawsuit etc. pp) , this show and its actors, especially one Robert Alfred Morley (yes), who helped me to look at myself and my mental insecurities and illness from a whole new point of view. I wasn’t ashamed of myself anymore. I felt... relieved. Understood. I even felt kind of loved for what i am, even with my anxieties. (There may or may not come a point or even a person in everyones life, that helps to develop this new kind of view on themselves. And for me this person was and always will be Bob Morley. And whatever happens, i’ll always love him for his open- and kindness and be thankful for his inspiration. I still call myself lucky to have talked with him a couple of times. I treasure these moments. Always.)

So, i was AFRAID of this day, when this all would come to an end. I KNEW it would wreck me, i would be devestated, i would be so incredibly sad, that i won’t be able to put it into words.

And here i am now. I AM sad. I AM devestated. But for so very different reasons that i could never imagine in my wildest nightmares... This last season... Season 7--- no i won’t start again. Not AGAIN. But... just that: What they’ve been creating for us here... it really overshadowed my joy of watching this show throughout this last season, yes even BEFORE that horrible murder of my all time fave and comfort character. I take back whatever i said about S6 or even S5. THIS... S7 was the season, that didn’t feel like the show i fell in love with anymore. Though changes CAN be refreshing and exciting... these changes haven’t been that for me.

Look. The thing is: Even WITH Bob’s request for time off and everything... There would’ve been PLENTY options for the writers to actually make it all make kind of sense! THEY COULD’VE DONE IT BETTER! If they’d really wanted to, that is... And here’s the point: I think they didn’t WANT it. For whatever reasons, whatever happened bts, they decided to do it like they did. And no-one’s able to understand their choices or the characters anymore - those characters we used to know so well, these characters i felt with over the course of so many seasons - who i could understand! EVEN THE VILLAINS! And now... look at the thanks we got. I can’t understand shit anymore when it comes to S7. Bc nothing makes sense. When i see even the GREATEST meta-writers among us surrender in their posts - than it’s really sad times for this fandom...

It’s not even just about Bellarke anymore. Sure, i AM disappointed that they’re not canon now. But then they shouldn’t have arranged the whole story around these two! “The backbone of the whole story”!!! I am laughing. In that case S7 was SPINELESS! Let me tell you. Everyone’s just... flailing around... great little side storylines, but somehow... disconnected from each other and all over the place. That’s how it felt for me to watch this season. And i’m feeling so exhausted by now... I never stopped hoping... I always thought, at some point it would make sense. I’ve read all your great metas AND I WANTED TO BELIEVE! It made perfect sense! (I seriously felt like Fox Mulder from time to time this season... and the lack of sense in the storyline as well as the complete absence of my personal faves (yes i include Clarke (Eliza) here, bc heck, she was so sidelined this season too, self inflicted or not) - all these things had been the “UFO’s or aliens i was hoping to see” one day... Guess i was wrong.)

I’m babbling... Sorry. But it will be for the last time in that kind of form. Promise.

At the end of the day (at the end of all things.. sigh, Frodo... i see you... *blinks back tears*) I am so glad that you’re all here with me, in the same boat. That I’m not alone feeling this kind of lost and baited and betrayed. Bc whatever you like to call it: The narrative promised us otherwise. Did JRott OWE us canon Bellarke? NO. Of course not. But HIS STORY did. The story he’d been telling us for SIX GD YEARS! THAT is what makes me so mad. But most of the time (and despite the selfie above) i’m just sad. Sad and disappointed. I know it will pass one day. And that i’ll find joy in watching S1-4, even S5 except for a couple of scenes, and certain episodes of S6 again. But now is not the day. Even IF they’ll give these characters a “happy ending” in some transcended form or whatever, in the afterlife maybe,... S7 is ruined for me. It wasn’t even a bliss for me before, but it was certainly ruined after they killed “The Heart” - pointlessly (THIS is what will haunt me even years from now..).

Today is the day for saying goodbye. It aches my heart, that we’ll have to do it the way we have to now. But at least we are together. So let’s raise a glass in honour of all the hours of joy and excitement this show brought us over the years, maybe even the tears and laughter, let’s raise a glass for the outstanding performances of the cast and the great storylines some writers developed for us. I am thankful beyond words. Let’s raise a glass to this awesome, talented fandom! I’ve met and talked to dozens of you guys througout the years, and it had always been a pleasure! I hope we’ll stay in touch! <3<3<3 And last but not least: Let’s raise a glass for Kass Morgan. This is HER baby in more than just one way. Without her vision... there wouldn’t have been a show. Or even Bellarke. CANON Bellarke, that is! ;) And i LOVE it!

These are the things that stay with us, these are the things we will remember.

So, have fun with the finale tonight guys! Or should i say: Good luck? ;) I won’t watch now. I haven’t watched since 7x13, and i won’t start again tonight. Not even for the finale. BUT... i’ll probably do it some day in the future. I’m still kind of curious after all. And there are still some characters i want to know how it ends for them. It‘s just... i don’t want to support any ratings. I don’t want to support JRott anymore. But i’ll probably get back to it - if what y’all will write about it afterwards looks promising or not... ;)

See you on the other side!

(Tags under the cut)

Hugs and love to you, dear fam! Tagging @together-is-my-favourite-place @natassakar @geekyogicheese @immortalpramheda @carrieeve @bellamyblake @angelbellamy @burninghoneyatdusk @iwearplaids @wankadi @katersann @nvermindiseeyou @ruggedmurphy @clarkgriffon @poppykru @broashwhat @malclmbright @kizo2703 @cominguproses13x @clarkeindra @tenmonologues @shialablunt @sometimesrosy @zavens @wonderingwhyy @charmainediyoza @the-suns-also-rise @lee-em-dee @bellamynochillblake @junebugninja @songhyeri @underbellamy @talistheintrovert @jeanie205 @bellamys11thfreckle @doontpanic @clarkegriffinblake @goddess-clarke @eyessharpweaponshot @hostagetakerandhistraitor @infp-with-all-the-feelings @theatre-steph @historyofbellarke @as-inevitable-as-morning @bisexualbellamyblake @little-oxford-st @delicatebluebirdruins in no particular order (i am so sorry in advance, if i should’ve forgotten someone... >.<), and yes, i include you too @merlination my Danny, bc without you, i wouldn’t have started watching The 1OO in the first place... ;)

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ravenempress101 · 4 years

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~Revolution Of Maddness~ Dionysus Greek Imagine Chapter 1

Authors note: finally made a Greek imagine. the legends of tomorrow did that on the episode. they picked my favorite love child to be Dionysus and had to write about it so here it is a new update and it will be a series cause it deserves one so enjoy my sweethearts! With everything going on have to spread happiness and love all of you my followers people who come across my story and heart i love you and truly be safe and love you! <3

Warnings: mind control, pure temptation, no smut, alcoholism, parties,swords

Words: 4.2k

"en grade newbie" "i am gonna kick your ass' Sara began to toss her frame in air cartwheeling her legs. her formation was about to take a final destination, she pulls her sword and swings upon y/n's side. y/n retracts her back inches toward the ground from the blow. as y/n stands up at Sara, the sword swings toward Sara's right side. the blow broke her defenses. twirling in the admits, her body collides with the floor. clenching her soft jaw at a winner of the sword fight. nick appeared from the door cups in his hand emblem with a mermaid locos monster on them.

"ooooo Starbucks thanks Nate"

Nate nodded at both of them while preparing the projector for the seminar. y/n paced over toward the cups capturing one in her hand, and niche her metal blade down onto the coffee table. Sara stood up and capturing one of the coffee. as she sat sat down sipping the espresso. Nate began to say 'your welcome i got you guys, double shot of espresso over ice, an american with a dash of mint, and a green tea with a hint of spearmint cause i was feeling freaky fresh today'

a mild chuckle escaped from y/n's lip at Nate. Sara slapped your arm to hide the laugh as she raised her cup in toast formation a smirk plastered on her lips commending Nate for the peace offering.“okay Nate no more reading joke books for a while”

as she takes another gulp of the raven liquid,he threw his hand up in embarrassment everyone making there way in the assignment lab. a meeting for a new mission were under there belt. as Nate said his hello to everyone for showing up to the meeting. capturing the red folders in his hand he gave a folder to all the members. y/n reaching for a red one Nate having one more folder with black and gold symbols on it. he placed it in your hand. y/n captured the folder in her hand wearing a puzzled expression.

"i think you gave me the wro...'

"alright case no.177 Dion's returned to his father Zeus by Dion or to be known as Dionysus" Nate flicked the screen. the screen appear to have a royal cup from the era of 950 BC. y/n blinked her eyes, refocuses to her folder opening it. there was a photograph of a young man with raven loose curls, deep dimples that covered his cheeks on his caramel cast a minority of freckles. "wait the god of winery is at a university, interesting" y/n scanning at a picture with the boy Dionysus with a basketball jersey of no. 52 in black bold on the front. Hes smiling but somethings off about how he poses for the picture.y/n was astound by the Greek god of winery. Zeus's son behaving like a animal. it was impossible for Dion to have any manners.

"sure is very" "that is an awesome cover up" Sara booming scribbling characters on her paper. Nate change the slide, the university and the sigma fraternity of the college that Dion was ruling over appeared. Dionysus was a regular kid on the outside but on the inside a bloodline of 1,456 years of pure immortality youth.

"not so awesome, y/n you would have to get Dionysus in your corner, his father Zeus needs him for his kingdom' y/n stalking off in a pointless huff. her anger burning at the words from Nate. "really me" "Oh no" "why me?' it's my first day"

Nate claps his hand together as rambling stopped. strutting over toward yourself placing your hand on your shoulder "you'll do great if i didn't know i would have never recruited you, this will prove to us and you that you can handle anything" a slight grin creep on her face at his encouragements. y/n knew she had a flame in her to fight but the god of madness was unknown to her. y/n praying that her charisma must prosper on him.

therefore, they appear a few days later at the university of the sigmas. college kids sprinting through campus. the teachers pulling out pink slips and the teachers sprinting after the kids, the smell of rose perfume in the air of the sorority woman dressed up in dresses of coordinating pink.y/n rolled her eyes of the desperate childishness memories that back when she was a 23 year old. The tables of the fraternities, sororities, and forities. mission was calling her name to sign up for one of the Greek organizations. Dionysus has to be in one of the big Greek leads.

"where is the god of destruction' a pink set of shirts wore by girls past her. y/n scanned her surroundings for the mysterious boy Nate set for her. the smell of dark chocolate feeling the air as Nate and her distracted by the rumbles of there stomachs. "dang can't believe it's been so long, they used to call me shot gun Nate' Nate walked over to one of the fraternity beer coolers and captured a beer. poking a hole in the side of the can and then cracked the seal at the top . downing the beer in seconds, y/n heart stopped at Nate her words held captive at what he did. the empty can collided with the floor and a 'woo" erupted from him as the students clapped an cheered "shotgun Nate" at his reenactment of his college days.

"shot gun Nate really" y/n giggled at the praised man. leaving the college students with amazement. "yes could drink a whole keg in three minutes or less, that was the big bang and then Dion.." college men with bullhorns started chanting"delta sigma phi" from across the sanctuary . men dressed in college t-shirts in formation convey a perfect angel from above.

"there he is"

y/n pointed at the tint shades being his hidden drunken state. His tan chubby frame leap off the throne.strutting over toward Nate and you at the sorority table you signed up for "where here, i love this day where i can meet all the fraternities and sororities with sweet alluring angels, hello angel whats your name' his orbs dance on your masterpiece. y/n nausea creep up at her throat. she took a big gulp forcing the food back down in her. y/n knew she was sick from his cockiness of attitude.y/n whispered to herself while Nate overheard her. "I'll break your bon...

"wow wow aye now"

Nate raising his index finger and gave her a death glare.y/n smiled innocently at her mentor transforming her attitude to positive. returning back to Dion’s gaze at her chubby frame while capturing his bottom lip in between his teeth. curves carved by Aphrodite herself set Dionysus in a vibe. "i mean hello and what is your name sir" "well its Dion and i see your participating in the zeta omega the charlie's angels of the sorority' Dion purring at her.the god of ecstasy pools of chocolate appear slight soberness toward y/n as she side eyed Nate. Nate couldn't get her out this one. it was time to prove her worth. "yes i am and what fraternity yourself apart of" y/n placed her free hand underneath her chin. soaking up Dion's beauteous features he portrayed "the sigmas also known as the forbidden fruit of the campus but Hun i'll make arrangements for you" Dion stepping closer toward y/n. his slender rough finger guided along your arm. y/n's body quaked from the touch of Dion. y/n stepped back from the gorgeous man.

"ugh i’m good Nate, i am done with this mission' a fire-seed rose up in y/n, as she began gritted her teeth. silence fell upon her as she stormed off. her footsteps were acid like movements burning the ground she walked on. the sparks in her brain at Dion's actions where uncalled for. Nate chased right after yourself. furrowing his eyebrows your way.being selfish was the only option y/n had made this whole mission.it was time for y/n to be selfless this one time for the legends. "then your kicked off the legends, y/n hes not that bad' Nate placing a burden upon y/n. Dion as went through nails and dirt and y/n couldn't even pushed down her ego.his attitude toward girls can change for the better. a journey for the both of them was underway.

"yes he is, a childish boy that thinks hes so awesome but really not look at him" both of you glanced at the Greek god as he downed his golden cup of wine that he created from his vineyard. the 5 gentlemen that followed him waved there hands in front of his chiseled face. a smirk came your way as he waited for your presence to disrupt his atmosphere.Dion wanted yourself so bad and he would do anything to get you sprung over him.time and patience is all he needs. "just try the best you can do with him we need him for Zeus and he needs care' as Nate scanned a cocky Dion placed his finger pointing at y/n wiggling it for a gesture of "come my why" y/n clenched her jaw as she saw red giving him the death glare on the naive men. Nate jumped right in front of her for a distraction. he soothed her anger.

"ugh fine' y/n through her ego away and walked back over to her project. "alright Dion i'm y/n do you wanna help me pick out a sorority crown i have to wear' capturing the catalog in her hand. scanning at all the majority diamond crowns and looking back up at Dion with a shy smile. side eyed the followers of men for agreement.they all nodded Dion captures his arm in yours. 'oooo first day and you wanna hang with me leggo' y/n and Dion walked out into the building and on the sorority neighborhood he owned.

"great!' victory was at hand for y/n and she couldn't be more happy next, Dion sitting in the kitchen chair. a laptop placed on his lap as he organized a guest list for his ultimate party of the century. the god of ecstasy made euphoria a place for all his parties. "so y/n coming to my party tonight since i helped you pick out the tiara for your sorority" "mhmmm i don't know i have to get stuff together for this sorority' Dion and you were in his house. a silent whisper fell upon both you.y/n thought Dion had classes but he skipped and bride somebody to go to his classes for him.

"it will be fun if your there, sound like the party type and it will get me a better chance of having fun if your there with me' 'mhmm i don't know i have to get stuff together for this sorority" pointer finger captured in between her teeth as she bite tiny marks on her fingernails. Dion plastering a smile convincing you to his rage. y/n didn't sign up for a drunken teenager as the mission went on. staying on her feet and having her senses high alert was her main priority. "okay okay stop your begging Dion i'll go" "that’s what i do best and great i'll save you a spot" while Dion winked your way. his head found his way onto your shoulder. once came in contact with yourself y/n's organs shivered. her soul glowing from the Greek god that touched her. as Dion was scanning his computer screen. y/n forehead flared up with sweat droplets. puzzled on how her body react with his touch was amazed.

Stumbling over her "great" the words stayed in her throat. Dion retracts his touch from her and y/n inhales deeply as her insides stood at a still. everything going back to normal, and the sweat disappear. Dion getting up from his seat and walking into the kitchen. y/n looks over her shoulder while capturing her iPhone from her pocket. as she unlocked her phone. started typing a message to Nate, "omg Nate i have to go to the party Dionysus is planning really???" the iPhone buzzed and y/n scanned at the text that he left on her phone "yes you do! the mission must be going really well, don't drink to much" cursing under her breathe. as she typed away the next text and pressed send. "omg fine you owe me one"

Dion made his way back into the room. a plate of rice in his hand and chop sticks in the other he sat down and took a bite and held the plate to your face. as y/n shook for a refusal he went back to planning. the darkness filled the air as the stars decorated the sky. y/n walked toward Dion's fraternity house. two boys Turing up beers and smashing the cans on there heads while shouting violently. wandering eyes landed to the lawn of all the toilet paper from the trees and the signs the sigmas created for there fraternity. y/n turned on her heels and walked back over toward her sorority house. y/n was in defeat at the accomplishment "look who made it, know you show up' Dion wrapping his words around your body. pulling yourself back towards the fraternity house. Dion ran down the steps capturing your hand guiding yourself into the sweaty body's grinding on each other. "hey Dion yes i'm here' "good i'm very glad you are,we have a long night ahead of us, lets get a drink shall we?"

"its a very special drink i want you to try' Dion forcing your body to his wine table. the table was covered with Hennessy and vodka. the bottles labeled with his name on them and sliver ribbon were around the alcohol bottle. "you have a lot of wine' guiding your free hand over the wine. y/n capturing one in hand and about to slip it in her pocket. Dion captures both of your hands in his some grapes from the table and starts smashing it between his rough palms with your soft ones. a fine liquid filled the glass of the self made wine that he mastered. "yea i make it here try a sip' the navy blue liquid filled to the rim. y/n captured the glass from his hand and placed her nose above the special drink. the contents were sweet but a bitterness tickled her nose. "cool so how long have you been part of the fraternity?" y/n scanning down her glass while mixing the drink. the drink was filled with darkness. a raven liquid filled with night. "a few years, i really find myself humble while ruling over the campus, drink up sweetheart"

placing the wine glass toward her heartshappes and tossed back the glass. the bitterness wine gliding down her throat. a Delicious taste invade it her taste buds. as sweat flared up on her forehead. her body temperature rising. "i feel hot Dion' Dion took a sip.the alcohol entering both of your bodies.y/n body felt hot to the touch. she felt like she wanted to strip all her clothes and jump in the pool just to release the steam she was feeling inside. "oh you'll cool down, how’d that taste?" Dion's cup colliding with the floor and he took your cup and the cup following behind. y/n's mouth erupted with coughs. pupils dilated and a source of enlightenment to her frame. her body floated from the high that his drink possessed.

"well tastes... awesomely delicious and i feel..' y/n's word started to muffle out her mouth. placing a foot in front of the other sounds of the crowd becoming a blur. her foot steps boomed in her ears. her heart at a slow steady speed. a clogging feeling to her ears. Dion's smiled turned dark staring at your frame. "Free almost right?, i'm going to ask yourself some questions" y/n felt like her body gave up on her conscious and were following her new leader. Dion, his voiced boomed in your soul. her orbs made its way toward Dion's chocolate ones. swimming the the looseness he conjured upon yourself. "are you really here for a sorority?' y/n blinking her eyes, refocusing on coming back to her body. the siren he position was a strength like no other. y/n mentally fighting but physically giving into the temptation. fading out of conscious.

"y-y-e... no' Dion strutted over towards yourself. Dion found pleasure in what he was doing. "tha’ts it baby girl cmon' "really why are you hear of all places?" his concerning question filled with care.y/n was becoming in denial and trusting of him in all one sitting. y/n chasing her thoughts back and slowly backing up from Dion for ehat he was did. stuttering forcing on her lips. the cover couldn't be blown.

"Hun don't struggle, you'll tire yourself out, just let go" senses shifted from his words as y/n's legs gave out. her frame collided with the floor. trembling filled her body as Dion crouched down to her level. her eyes started to loose her natural color and form into Dion's his rough fingers landed underneath your soft chin. y/n relaxed under his touch as Dion scanned for any control your body, soul, and mind for him to rule over. her blinking ceased and tears welled up in her eyes. one tear escape from her orb and found its way down its cheek. "i'm not here for this sorority, please see your dad he needs you" the moment Dion realized what had came from your mouth is heart broke. his feeling like he was drowning underwater. as Dion paused in front of yourself at the information he gathered. his rough palms trailing up and down your arms. warmth fell upon yourself.

"now isn't that better, the truth is better and look princess your reward is being here with me don't need you running off now your special just as your mind is" Dion's eyes filled with a soft venom of anger and a clenched jaw. a daze came over y/n as she nodded at the command. "yes i will be he-rr-e for you and only you Dion" shoulders relaxed. as a questionable peace came over her. as y/n began to embrace Dion she felled straight to the floor in front of him. her body knew his commands right away. a bow she took. Dion thoughts in his brain of your schedule he place you on.

"that’s so very tight to hear, can' wait to hear the little cries as you worship me' Dion taking your chin forcing yourself to look up at his gaze. Dion summoned one of his followers to him and Dion whispered in his ear "get the legends of tomorrow on the phone, they will be proud of me and her for what i done" Dion evilly grinned at yourself. all the thoughts of you and him were causing excitement for him.y/n trapped with the caramel man side. the euphoria crashing through her body and Dion was the supplier toward that feeling. Dion shouted and men appeared from the shadows toward his command "men, help her change into something sexy, i found what i need and shes the kindest goddess ever. the men nodded there way toward him and captured your arms in there hands leading yourself in a room as yourself left. Dion waved his free hand at yourself of a gesture of welcoming to a new home.

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andoqin · 3 years

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LaR (re)watch part... 4 I’m gonna go with 4

So we continue on with our still happy adventuring, and now even Sifeng is smiling much more often, although he is still icing out 6th bro hahahahaha, I do love that there are these kind of blink and you’ll miss it moments when they are out and about, Sifeng is still holding a grudge!

Is it really a (c)drama if there isn’t at least *one* of these scenes??? Signs point to no. Another cut because damn did i go screencap happy

Now we get to some of my favourite bits of the show, but pretty much also the beginning of the END, but before we get ahead of ourselves let’s first appreciate the fact that they spend the next few eps in wedding garbs and Sifeng outs his giant crush on Xuanji to everyone else (not that idk how anyone could have *missed that* but now even 6th brother is aware. Also they once again keep giving Sifeng the traditionally female role of the narrative which never fails to crack me up when they do it very blatantly.

Blabla they fight a fox demon lady, who they think was evil, but basically just got herself an adoring harem of worshippers who don’t even wanna leave. Plus they meet Merman guy again and they prove that demons aren’t automatically shitty! Huzzah for complex moralities.

Somewhat anyway.

Speaking of “””””complex”””””” moralities fucking Wu Tong attacks with his new best buddies and they get separated, with Xuanji and Sifeng washing away to a hidden cave and my poor girl Linglong getting captured by Wu Tong and UGH that’s not a storyline I look forward to, otoh it is at least treated in a way that doesn’t shy away from the implications. BUT ANYWAY THAT’S NOT YET RELEVANT.

Sifeng hasn’t bled aesthetically in far too long and I’m glad the drama recognises and rectifies this factoid. AND it gives us an excuse to get rid of the rather bland mask, so we finally get to see Sifeng’s entire face again.

Bc Xuanji is a girl after my own heart, she wastes no time stripping Sifeng and “treating his injuries” I mean that’s what I’d say too if I was asked.

I am very proud of you Xuanji, GET YOURS!

Sifeng (finally) realises the mask is gone and he is just so elated and so happy. He seems to forget this is like in the early teens of a 50+ episode show, oh Sifeng, really you should know better!

Of course, he thinks Xuanji loves him now, forgetting that she still lacks a majority of her six senses and doesnt really *understand* love yet. Plus the whole mask thing is imo much more about *his* feelings for her than hers about him.

As is the prevailing theme with this show, Sifeng tries to be all romantic but waffles about so Xuanji TAKES CHARGE as always, sadly all my screenshots of that were shit.

Xuanji gets another of her senses back and they snuggle but unlike Sifeng the drama remembers that haha we’re barely a quarter into the drama so things are Not As Good as we’d hoped.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN, everything is still fucked, Love Curse is still going strong and nothing is really resolved, other than the fact that we finally get to see Sifeng’s pretty face in, so we can truly appreciate the upcoming pain.

Another thing that happened in the meantime though: we get to meet my other favourite side character TENG SHE!!! And his (on again off again boyfriend) technically boss Qing Long. Teng she is a character that doesn’t really give off his true delightful mannerisms in still images. He’s a Heavenly Snake and the actor really went for all the wriggly and twitchy movements. Maybe a bit too much at times but it really worked for me.

Nothing will ever convince me these two *dont* have something going on. Anyway let’s end this post on a cap that just encapsulates about 80% of this show. Some righteous sect leader is being a sanctimonious prick after Sifeng and Xuanji do them a solid, thinking Sifeng wants to fuck his wife.

He goes after Sifeng, injuring him but ofc Xuanji stands in front of her man protecting him and about to throw down with the sect leader bc he touched Sifeng. Mmmmm yes please and thank you.

#love and redemption #lar rewatch #cdrama

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gra-sonas · 4 years

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Hiiii! What are you thoughts about RNM finale! How do you feel about it? I'm glad Alex was happy and I kind of understand why Micha walked out in the middle of the song even though I know some people didn't like it... Anyways! Hope you have a great day! 😁

Hi nonnie!

Am I having a great day, running on roughly 2 hours of sleep and sheer force of will? Debatable. :P

I’ve been listening to Tyler’s song all day tho, that has definitely improved my mood significantly. I’ll never be over the beauty that is this Malex song. WE GOT A MALEX SONG, Y’ALL!!!! And Tyler’s voice... yeah, the absolute best thing ever. I’m at peace just listening to him. 🥰

WOULD YOU COME HOME is without a doubt the best thing of this episode, the best thing of the season tbh. With that being said, I wrote down some more things.

Putting this incoherent mess behind a cut tho (I’m LJ years old, it’s a cut, not a Read More :P), fingers cross Tumblr doesn’t botch the damn thing.

Hmmmm, I’ll admit that last night (I watched live at 3am, which probably was NOT the best idea, but then I’m an adult, what else am I supposed to do other than make TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES...), I really hated it.

Nothing made sense, too many questions were left unanswered, Malex were robbed of saying “I love you” to each other first, they were also robbed of an opportunity to talk (dear god, when will they finally TALK, it’s literally all I want), Michael was made to leave IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LOVE LETTER ALEX WAS SINGING TO HIM IN PUBLIC (omfg, I’m still so fucking PISSED about that, I’m FUMING) by the writers just to keep the ~drama going, Malex were robbed of a first public kiss, in one moment at the bar it looks like Michael took the handkerchief off, but there’s no way of telling whether they simply forgot to put it on him, or if it was deliberate and he actually took it off and we were robbed of that very significant moment.

Also ngl, Jesse’s death? Underwhelming. I mean, I’m glad he’s finally gone, but his whole storyline this season was underwhelming and so was his death. Oh well, underwhelming is my rating of S2 overall, guess it makes sense for this super villain to go out with a meh instead of a bang.

Blah, I'm still not super happy about the finale, and I especially wanted Michael to hear the WHOLE song, mainly the final two lines

You were the best of me You are the best of me

but since we can’t have nice things it’s not surprising that I’m not a huge fan. At least it wasn’t as devastating as 1x13, or as gross and triggering in 2x06, small mercies, I guess :P

Ngl, the Forlex kiss didn’t spark joy for me personally. I’m a mono shipper, and just like I hated seeing Michael kiss someone else, I hated seeing Alex do the same. But I understand why he did it. Michael left halfway through the song, and Alex was so relieved and proud of himself that he sang it, and Forrest was right there (wearing his Deep Sky ring 👀).

And hey, Alex asked and Forrest gave enthusiastic consent, I appreciate that very much!

I also really liked that Alex and Michael got to destroy the damn shed. I absolutely ADORE that Gregory was there when Alex sang, alive and looking like the proudest big brother ever (like you don’t even know HOW MUCH I love him!!! ). Tanner’s such an amazing addition to the cast and I hope we’ll get to see him more often next season!

I’m glad that neither Alex or Michael were burdened with Jesse’s death, I hate that Gregory is carrying that burden now, but he seems to be better equipped for it, and I think he’ll be okay living with it.

Also a glimmer of hope for my baby Flint and a possible redemption arc? I like it (mainly bc I adore Kiowa, I just want him back).

The Echo breakup was long overdue, IDK, I haven’t cared that much about them as a couple for a long time, they’ve been lying to each other throughout most of the season, insofar it makes perfect sense that they go their separate ways now.

Rrrrosaaaaaa!!! My girl, I’m so damn PROUD of her!!!! She’s doing absolutely amazing, and I hope they’ll bring Iris back for her in S3 as a real friend. She deserves to spend time with people other than the “alien circle” at large.

M/M breakup... let’s just say I’m glad that particular nightmare is finally OVER. Time for Michael to work on himself. He didn’t get much opportunity to do that all season.

I’m a bit worried that due to the larger time jump between S2 and 3 we’ll either not get to see much of his development, or - even worse - he hasn’t worked on himself when we meet him again. That’s why I really rather hate S2 for him as a character. Oh well, that’s something to worry about in a year, I guess.

KYLE. I was happy about the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Kylex moment, but overall S2′s done him dirty. Constantly sidelined, stuck in a relationship I still don’t care about even a little bit. And now Liz even played “god” and saved Steph (which in itself is a good thing, but Liz has been doing this all season, and no one’s stopped her, and I find that worrisome.) I guess with Steph being saved she’s also going to be in S3? Meh, I couldn’t care less, but also something to worry about next year.

Isobel didn’t get to do all that much this episode, but I love her, she’s had an amazing journey this season, and I feel she’s in a really good place right now. GOOD FOR HER!

SANDERS! Not in this episode, but damn, I love him, and I’m SO glad that MICHAEL’S DAD HAS BEEN INTRODUCED TO US THIS SEASON!

Jenna & Charlie AAAAAAHHHHHHHH, I’m so happy for them! And I’m excited to hopefully see both of them again next season! They are amazing, and as a duo a force to be reckoned with! Excited for Riley’s show Hightown to be renewed, still hope she’ll find time to travel to Santa Fe to be in several episodes of RNM.

Max... Ngl, I’m not a fan of the character. Never have been. And while Max 2.0 was nicer than Max 1.0, I never really warmed up to him. Let’s see how things with “Mr. Jones” and Max will go next season.

Maria... Let’s see how things with her go next season. Maybe she’ll finally be allowed to have a storyline that doesn’t revolve around other people.

Circling back to Alex. I love him, I love him the most. He’s on par with my other favorite character of all time (Derek Hale, in case that wasn’t clear). He’s so important to me, and Tyler did the most exquisite job playing him. S2′s been a difficult season for him and I hated that for him.

The writers held him back at almost every turn, he wasn’t allowed to move on, instead Michael got to “dump” Alex every second episode. Man, it got old real fast. But Alex’s resilience finally hammered it home to Michael, that Alex is not leaving again. He’s right there, and he’ll even show up when Michael calls him. New experience for him, I’m sure.

IDK, this whole season was such a mess, so many things that weren’t resolved in the end, the lack of a main plot kept bothering me, and I hated that some of my favorite S1 friendships were completely sidelined.

I hate that an entire season was wasted on Malex being apart, especially wasted for Michael who had a lot of shit on his plate I hoped he’d get a chance at working through (at least in part) in S2, but that didn’t happen. He had some lightbulb moments, but overall he’s still pretty much in the same spot he was at the beginning of the season.

And while I agree that he’s not ready to be with Alex atm, I hate that he did not communicate that to Alex properly, and instead left halfway through Alex’s song.

IDK, I just feel like pretty much every fanfic writer in our fandom would’ve done a better job at writing them this season, they would’ve been allowed to move forward separately, but still towards a common goal.

I know, they are endgame, there’s no doubt about that, but I’m TIRED of them not talking. And especially after Alex’s performance.

Either way, I don’t think any of this makes much sense, coherent thoughts, I don’t have them atm. I’ll need more time to think things through, and maybe my overall negative opinion of this season won’t be quite so negative anymore. Who knows.

I’ve always wondered whether I’d feel like finally watching S2 once I know how it ends, and right now I can answer that question with a firm NO. Canon exhausts me. I’m looking forward to fandom getting time to take a deep breath and process this season.

I’m excited that we get to take care of the characters for the next year. It’s time for some good development, for tons of fics where Malex actually talk to each other, where Gregory is an awesome brother, Sanders adopts Michael and a million other things.

If there’s one thing I’m grateful for is, that the finale didn’t ruin Malex entirely. I’d been really worried about that.

THEY ARE OURS AGAIN, FOLKS! \0/

#rnm 2x13 #rnm spoilers #rnm speculation #malex are endgame pass it on #tyler's music #is healing my soul #rnm review #nonnie asks

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the-reverse-mermaid · 5 years

Text

Feel Again: a whump fic

Hey buddies! I’m working on my WIPs currently and i am so grateful for ur patience but i’ve also had this thing sitting in my docs for several months and I wanted to share it at last, but just a clip because..well...in whole, it’s kinda darker than my usual stuff so the whole thing may or may not be posted in the future. This is a gift for the wondrous @parkrstark who had a birthday recently and who is a beautiful person and talented writer <3 Enjoy, my love~

FIC INFO: around 5k words, IronDad and SpiderSon, hurt/comfort, warnings for nightmares, panic/anxiety attacks, past dehumanization; also it’s implied that Tony is Peter’s guardian bc May died...sry, i was too coward to write her ^^;

...

It’s been seven days, ten hours and fifteen minutes.

Peter watches, blank-faced and empty-eyed, as bowl and spoon are placed in his hands. It makes Tony feel like he’s dealing with a robot, but even his robots are more lively than this. Taking Peter’s spoon, the man presses the Cheerios under the milk so that every piece of cereal will be soggy, just the way Peter likes. In times past Tony had made fun of him for the preference, and Peter had ardently defended it as the only right way to eat cereal.

Now the memory of Old Peter echoes in the back of his mind like a glimpse of an alternate reality.

“Think you can finish all of that, buddy?” Tony asks, leaning down so he’s in Peter’s line of sight. Dulled brown eyes trail up to him, then back to the bowl and he nods, picking up the spoon. Tony breathes a sigh of relief as the kid starts to eat, chewing slowly.

He checks his phone and feels a nervous thrill at the notification there: I’m about to come down. Still want to do this? He glances at Peter before typing and sending a quick, Yes, ty.

“Hey, bud, remember that time you, me and Pep spent Saturday morning watching dumb cartoons and eating breakfast food til noon?” he begins, picking at his own cereal to seem casual about it. “I thought we could do that today, since she’s got no meetings til this afternoon. Whaddaya say?”

Peter pauses. He lifts one shoulder indifferently, but Tony can see anxiety hidden in the movement. Apathy and fear; whatever happened in the last four months stripped Peter-- lively, expressive Peter-- of all but these two emotions. They might as well have stolen Tony’s entire fortune; that loss would’ve hurt less.

Before Tony can think how to reassure him or possibly backtrack, there are footsteps in the hall and Pepper is rounding the corner with a bright smile on her face.

“Hey, guys!” she greets, pausing in the entrance of the kitchen to look them over. She’s comfortably dressed in pajama bottoms and her ‘I lost an electron’ shirt that she and Peter both own, her hair down and feet socked. It’s 10 times less intimidating than her usual business suits and high heels but still Peter squirms closer to Tony’s side and eyes her warily, choosing to look at her feet rather than her face. Pepper wilts a bit at the reception.

“Morning, hon,” Tony calls. He pushes a pleading ‘we can do this, just act normal’ into his gaze, and Pepper, bless her, seems to get the message. “We’ve got cereal over here, help yourself.”

Pepper grabs a bowl off the counter and crosses the room, her movements deliberate and nonthreatening. There’s no change from Peter, whose own bowl is sitting in his lap like something hardly worth his interest.

“Hmm,” she hums. “Cheerios are good, but mind if I add to the spread? I think we’ve got some frozen quiches around here somewhere, that sounds good to me.”

Tony smiles. “Go for it.” As soon as she walks away he nudges Peter and says quietly, “You’re okay, Pete. Nothing to be stressed about, yeah? Pep is just like me: she wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

For what it’s worth, the kid does relax minutely. In the interim of Pepper opening packages and using the microwave, Tony picks up the remote and turns on the TV, browsing around for something safe and feel-good before settling on Nickelodeon, which is showing some animated movie. Peter’s eyes flick up to the screen.

“Alright, I got mini-quiches and even some blueberry muffins, ” Pepper announces upon her return, both hands holding trays of said items. “Totally gourmet... And by gourmet, I mean Costco brand.”

“The best,” Tony agrees, snatching one of each as soon as she sets them down. “Which would you rather have, bud?” He turns to Peter, who is done with his cereal and is now looking at the new food. At Tony’s invitation he hesitates but points at a muffin and Tony tries not to get too excited about it as he hands one over and watches the kid begin nibbling the top. So far things seem to be going well.

Now he’s just gotta go through with the next step.

Around ten minutes in, the movie cuts to a commercial break. Tony shifts in preparation to stand up and Peter immediately follows suit, not even questioning, but carefully Tony takes the boy’s hands and holds them at arm’s length. Peter looks at him questioningly, a rare moment of eye contact.

“I’m just gonna take a bathroom break, okay, bud?” he explains. “You stay here with Pep.” He tucks Peter’s hands to his lap and stands.

Peter keens and sits up straighter, wide eyes kindling anew with anxiety. Tony feels like the worst human being on the planet, but he knows he needs to do this. He needs to help Peter do this.

“It’s just a few minutes apart,” he promises. “I’ll go straight there and back.”

“And I’ll be here with you the whole time,” Pepper chimes in. She scoots closer from the other side of the couch and puts a soothing hand on Peter’s back, easing him back into the cushions as Tony leaves the room. The man tries not to look back as he hears her quieting and comforting the boy’s whimpers. Pepper is a better people person than Tony will ever be and he knows she’ll take good care of him, but Tony’s fingers still itch with the urge to turn right back around.

As soon as he gets to the bathroom, Tony pulls up a feed of the living room on his phone via FRIDAY’s cams to watch the room he just left. On the couch, Peter is decidedly not coping as well with Pepper as he does Tony, but he isn’t having a meltdown; in fact, he’s allowing her to sit close and keep an arm wrapped around his shoulders, though his forehead remains creased in apprehension. The poor kid looks like he’s fighting with himself to be patient; his gaze is torn between watching the TV and checking the doorway for Tony’s return.

Biting his lip, Tony puts his screen away and sighs. He paces the small space, checking his watch impatiently until at last five minutes have passed.

On his way back he hears it.

The yelling.

“Peter? Peter, honey, you’re okay! Please calm down, you’re home, you’re safe-” Pepper.

His walk turns into a sprint as he rounds the corner, heart in his throat, and takes in the worrying scene before him.

Peter is curled up in a fetal position on the couch, Pepper kneeling in front of him with helplessness on her face as she tries to get his attention. Peter’s hands are pressed over his ears, his eyes clenched shut, his whole body shuddering as he rocks and cries inconsolably.

“What happened?” Tony demands.

Pepper hurries backwards so Tony can take her spot. “I don’t know what- what agitated him,” she says in a rush. There are tears in her eyes. “He just suddenly started panicking and hyperventilating and- and he won’t let me touch him, he screams if I try-”

“Don’t scream!” Peter says suddenly. Both adults’ attention snaps to him. His eyes have opened but they’re unseeing as he croaks, “Don’t scream, they- they’ll hear! Be good, be good, be good, I- I’m good- please, I’m--”

“Peter, hey,” Tony tries, carefully putting his hand on Peter’s shoulder.

At the touch, Peter flinches, his head smacking against the couch. His whispering gets more frantic. “I’ll be better! I will! I-”

“Peter, please, stop!” The man takes Peter’s face between his hands. “You’re safe. Nobody’s gonna hurt you. Can you hear me, buddy? It’s your- it’s Tony.”

Peter goes still.

“Tony,” he repeats. His face crumples slowly, lip trembling. “I miss Tony...”

The man of iron feels his heart splinter. I miss you, too, Pete. Come back to me.

“You’ve got him,” he says. “Tony’s here now. He’s got you. He’s gonna keep you safe.”

In the stillness that follows, all is quiet save the sound of Peter’s rapid breathing, but even that is slowing and evening out. His blinks several times as the storm clouds in his eyes dissipate, light returning gradually as the seconds pass. Tony’s thumb strokes away a tear still rolling down the boy’s cheek, and at last Peter focuses and looks at rather than through him.

They stare at one another for a long moment. The teen swallows and opens his mouth with a shaky inhale, a fresh sheen of tears filling his eyes.

“S-sorry… my bad,” he rasps.

Tony’s brain short-circuits for a moment, and all he can think is how unbelievable it is that the most of Peter he’s seen in so long could come as the result of such an episode. He doesn’t know whether it makes him want to laugh or cry.

He pulls himself onto the couch and gathers his kid into his arms, one hand bracing Peter’s back, the other nestling in his still-overgrown curls. Peter responds by clinging around his middle and pressing his ear to Tony’s chest, no doubt timing his breaths by the heartbeats there.

It’s only after Pepper leaves to find them a blanket that Tony sees the TV screen and the image it’s paused on. It’s an infomercial… an infomercial for obedience training. The closed captioning advertises “Don Sullivan’s Secrets To Training The Perfect Dog: order the DVD set now and get a complimentary Command Collar”.

Tony had never had strong feelings about infomercials in general but at that moment he wants nothing more than to buy every single TV station and destroy them all. Screw Don Sullivan.

He’s surprised when Peter suddenly huffs a humorless sound. “I’m pretty broken, aren’t I,” he states quietly, voice wrecked.

Tony pushes his fingers through the scruff on the back of Peter’s neck, wishing so hard that he could turn back time. “No,” he refutes. “No, you’re not.”

Peter is quiet for a long time, so long that Tony wonders if he’s given in to the pull of post-panic-attack exhaustion and fallen asleep. But in a tired voice weighted by more sadness than any man, woman or child should ever know comes a tiny reply:

“Yes, I am.”

...

Peter has scars. A lot of them.

It’s been fifteen days since and he’s barely improved, still clinging and hesitant to speak or make eye contact with anyone other than Tony. He lets himself talk in small bursts but it’s nothing like he used to be; he can also manage up to fifteen minutes alone without having a panic attack if Tony has to shower or use the restroom. He does the same so long as Tony waits for him outside the door (within range of hearing his heartbeat).

After the disastrous separation experiment, Tony isn’t eager to push much more than that.

(Peter has scars.)

Some are thicker than others, especially on his wrists and his back; the white lines criss crossing over his form tell tale of screams long since silenced. Just seeing the marks makes Tony’s knees weak with a concoction of feelings he can’t describe-- prominently there’s horror, because he remembers how every injury was discovered and treated on that first night back and it was like Tony himself was taking a beating… and then there’s regret-guilt-anger-helplessness, because the cuts are healed now-- Peter’s healing capabilities took over soon after he got the proper nutrition and medical attention-- but poison memories are sealed inside.

If he hugs the kid a little longer than necessary after watching him get his boot cast removed and seeing the scar tissue that mars him there too, Peter doesn’t seem to mind. The kid leans into his touch more now than he ever did before.

“Alright, little shadow,” Tony says brightly as he pulls away, using the nickname that had never been more appropriate in their relationship; having a kid clinging closer than a literal shadow at all times did that to you. He glances one more time at the newly-healed foot and gets an idea. “What do you say we celebrate this cast coming off? Wanna take a walk around the compound, get some fresh air?”

Peter looks up at him through his ragged, unstyled hair, doe eyes wide but empty. Tony smooths his bangs back and the kid blinks once as if to focus. Tony can see him trying to be there, trying to care. Trying and trying and trying.

“...’kay,” he whispers, fragile. He lets Tony take his hands and help him stand.

Once he’s got them bundled up in jackets to withstand cold winds that roll off the water, Tony hiding a wrist gauntlet on the hand in his pocket (because yes, he’s that paranoid), the two of them (as one figure) step outside for the first time in-- in a while. Definitely a while.

A cool breeze follows them on their walk and Tony allows a deep breath of actual fresh air to clean out his lungs and settle in his veins. It’s not very often he gets to enjoy the benefits of living outside the city.

They end up walking along a trail that follows the Hudson and Tony decides that this actually was a good idea: the nature-y sights and sounds seem to help bring Peter to life. There’s a glimmer of contentedness in his face as he looks out over the trees and water and sky. He loosens his grip on Tony’s arm and settles for a gentle handhold. Tony looks at him sideways, feeling a swell of hope rise in his chest, right behind where his arc reactor used to be.

“It’s nice to get out, huh,” he says softly. The edges of Peter’s eyes crinkle in what might be the world’s tiniest beginning of a smile.

Other than occasionally checking that Peter’s leg isn’t hurting, Tony shuts his mouth and lets the white noise around them do its thing. He’s been talking too much lately anyway, trying to overcompensate.

They’ve been walking for almost an hour and stopped to admire a small waterfall when Peter suddenly bristles and presses himself close to Tony’s side. In paranoia, the man pulls his gauntlet hand out of his pocket and is all but ready to activate it, when all that comes around the path toward them is a wobbling toddler in a puffy coat.

They stare at him. He stares back, a gap-tooth grin on his face. “‘Ah-dy!” he says in greeting.

No, nope, I’ve definitely got my hands full being just ONE kid’s Daddy, Tony thinks worriedly, when behind the toddler appears a man who moves to scoop the boy up in his arms. The man holds the boy, who’s probably about 18-24 months old, by his feet and the kid shrieks in delight, wiggling around upside-down.

“Leaving me behind, guys?” a woman’s voice calls before a third person appears, putting her arm on her husband’s shoulder and glancing curiously at Tony and Peter. Peter hides himself behind Tony, eyes on the dirt, and Tony manages to cast them a weak smile to be polite whilst squeezing his kid’s arm reassuringly.

The man sets their kid down and he immediately spins around, looking at the waterfall. “Wa-er!” As he tottles away, Tony catches sight of the symbol on the back of his coat and does a double-take.

“Nice jacket,” he says without thinking.

He glances down at Peter. The kid has noticed too-- his eyes are locked on the symbol, expression unreadable.

The man turns around from where he and his wife are watching their toddler. He follows their gaze and laughs. It’s a tiny Spider-Man themed coat.

“Thanks! Spidey’s our family’s favorite. He saved Shannon’s life when she was pregnant with this dude,” he says, indicating his family members respectively. “The guy may not be around lately, or moved, or- whatever, there’s lot’s of theories- but... he isn’t forgotten, not for us.”

“-ah-DEE!” the little guy calls from where he and the woman have wandered, and this time he seems to be referring to his actual daddy so the man gives them an awkward little wave before walking off to catch up.

The strangers gone, Peter sags into Tony’s side. His face is still unreadable. Tony can’t think of anything to do other than wordlessly steer them down the path toward home, wondering at the heavy thought bubbles building over his kid’s head.

…

Sixteen-and-a-half days.

A strangled-sounding scream cuts through the dark and into Tony’s heart like a knife.

Tony’s startled but he isn’t surprised; startled because of the rude awakening from being asleep at the kid’s side, and the ever-terrifying possibility that something might be wrong, but not surprised in the conventional way because he’s aware that this has happened every night since the kid came off the heavy meds.

Peter is whimpering strings of ‘please’ and ‘no’, and Tony turns on the bedside lamp to see him huddled in a ball, eyes closed and budding with tears, one fist stuffed in his mouth to stifle the noise. He winces when Tony puts a hand on the side of his head.

“Peter,” Tony whispers, so tired. “Peter, bud, you’re okay. It’s just a bad dream. Open those eyes for me?”

Peter whines, but his eyes do crack open to anguished slits. He’s shaking beneath Tony’s palm, and biting down so hard on his hand that the man sees a trail of blood running down his knuckles. Tony’s other hand gently pries the fist out away from his mouth. Peter lets him.

“Hey bud,” the man greets softly, catching the kid’s gaze. Peter stills as his surrogate father rubs a thumb along his temple soothingly.

Tony smiles sadly. “What did I tell those nightmares last night, huh? My kid is off-limits; only good dreams allowed. Iron Man decrees it.”

Peter stares at him, breathing erratic as his awareness returns. He inhales sharply, an attempt to calm down, but his breath catches on a sob on the exhale. He covers his face with both hands and dissolves into fresh cries, leaning into Tony as the man takes the back of his head and pulls him close.

“Shhh,” Tony murmurs, fingers carding through the curls at Peter’s nape. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Go ahead and cry, I’m here.”

It takes some time for Peter to cry himself out. Tony doesn’t stop whispering reassurances the whole time. He can tell by the pace of the breaths beneath him that Peter’s still awake.

“You can tell me anything, Pete,” he offers gently, as he has every night. “I’m here for you.”

Peter has yet to tell Tony about what happened to him, or about the nightmares that haunt him so badly. As he comforts, Tony traces his thumb across the hollow under Peter’s eye, wiping away wetness there and remembering how the straps of a muzzle had traced the same spot in a perverse fashion not so long ago, before Iron Man had removed and destroyed the thing in disgust.

Some scars can’t be bandaged as easily as others, but for the first time in all such nights, Peter does respond.

“Mr. Stark,” he says so softly that Tony holds his breath so as to not miss anything, “Mr. Stark, I- I don’t- I just don’t understand.”

It’s in these moments, somehow, that Peter is most himself. The storms drag Peter out of his hiding place. “What don’t you understand,” the man prompts. He pulls back to see the teen’s face. His young brow is furrowed in- confusion? concentration?

Peter chews his lip for a moment before going on. “It’s like, when I was there… all I could- all I dreamed about was home. But now I’m here and I, I can’t- I’m st-still there, you know?” He meets Tony’s eyes. “What if I can’t ever really come home?” he concludes hopelessly.

Tony does unfortunately, painfully know what he’s asking about, because he has a similar trauma and it’s called Afghanistan.

“You just need time, buddy,” he says. “I know what you mean, trust me, I do. It just gets better with time.”

“Is it worth it?” Peter presses suddenly. “Am I-” His eyes trail sideways to the sheets and he swallows. “Am I even worth it?”

Tony’s jaw hardens. “That’s not even a question.”

“I-I did bad things… And, and I’m not the same.”

“You didn’t have a choice, kid. And being different? That’s not as bad as you think.”

“I’m ruining your life.”

“Peter, you are not-”

“I’m inhuman and I’m a waste of space.”

It’s the way he says it, like it’s a known fact, something he’s been drilled with and long since accepted, that really gets under Tony’s skin. He’s been pretty good at holding himself together so far, all things considered, but can’t help that he feels his own eyes stinging with tears at the sound of his kid reiterating the garbage he’s been brainwashed with.

He sits up so suddenly that Peter startles.

“I’m not really tired anymore,” he says briskly, throwing the covers off himself and trying to discreetly wipe at his eyes.

Peter pushes himself up too, eyes wide and concerned. “Mr. Stark?”

“I’m feeling like a trip to the lab, maybe a snack on the way. How ‘bout you, kid? Wanna join your old man for some late night wandering?”

Peter presses his lips together in confusion, but he nods. Tony pushes the covers back more so that the kid can get his feet on the ground before stepping out himself, the both of them slipping into their usual bracing of one another.

Apparently speaking, and now getting up, is too much deviation from the routine for Peter because in his eyes he’s slipping back into himself, expression closing off. Tony hopes he doesn’t feel embarrassed; Before-Peter would’ve been, but Now-Peter is hard to read.

FRIDAY turns on lights as they pad down the hall, already long since attuned to Tony’s nocturnal habits. A quick stop at the kitchen supplies them with a bowl of Chex mix, and then the lab doors are whooshing open and Tony’s realizing he doesn’t actually feel like tinkering. He just needed a reprieve to collect his thoughts but now he’s got Peter out of bed for no reason and it’s not healthy, he’s gonna ruin his kid, he’s a terrible guardian-

He shakes his head. One thing at a time.

“Come sit with me,” he says unnecessarily, leading a compliant Peter to the couch and settling him down with the bowl of Chex in his lap. Neither of them move to eat any of it. Tony takes a seat beside him and drums his fingers on the knee of his worn sweatpants for a long moment, looking around for something to do now that he’s brought them here.

His eyes fall on a forgotten Target bag sitting stuffed in one corner and the metaphorical light bulb goes on.

As quickly as he sat, Tony’s back on his feet. Peter’s gaze follows him as he crosses to a nearby screen, booting it on and then retrieving the items he needs from the shopping bag. He shields his activities from Peter and whispers instructions to FRIDAY before finally whirling around to look at his kid with a crazy grin. It probably seems like he’s gone crazy at this point.

“Buddy, I have one question for ya,” he states, hands raising and pausing for dramatic effect. “Have you ever played… Just Dance?”

Peter stares at him the way one might stare at a fascinating tornado. He slowly shakes his head.

Tony laughs nervously. “Uhh... me neither. But listen, after you moved in, I kind of-” ...panicked... “-sent Happy to the store to find things you might like to have around the house? Like video games? I don’t know what kids like. Happy doesn’t either. He must’ve checked the internet or something because he came home with this, and kid, can you imagine Harold Hogan in the store buying a dancing game? Now that’s an image I treasure. On behalf of his efforts, I think we should give it a go, right here, right now.”

By the time the rambling stops, Dum-E, U and Butterfingers have made their way to this corner of the lab like curious cats trying to interpret their boss’ strange behavior. Noticing their presence, Tony throws his arm out to point at Dum-E. The other two bots startle comically.

“You,” Tony declares. “You can hold a wii remote, right? You and me. Let’s dance. Pete, you’re on the tambourine. I don’t actually have a tambourine. Just keep time by knocking, like this.”

The man leans forward and raps his knuckles twice against the side of the chex mix bowl. It’s not like it’s loud, or even necessary, but it’s something to get the kid involved. Peter looks a little lost, but not in the dissociative way- more like he’s trying to figure out if he’s actually awake or if this is a weird dream he’s having. Still, Tony’s on a roll and he feels dangerously confident. Not quite confident enough to ask Peter to dance, but enough to make a fool of himself in the hopes of bringing comic relief to one of their awful nights.

Within a few minutes, FRIDAY has configured the game on Tony’s screen and the main menu music is playing through the speakers. One newly-unwrapped wii-remote is clutched in Dum-E’s claw, safety strap secured, and Tony’s using the other to flip through the menu and create player profiles.

“Okay, so…” he mutters, finally arriving at the song selection screen. “What do we have here... Gotta make sure we choose an easy one. Not for me, of course; I’m worried about dum-dum over there.”

His eye catches on a song title, and he pauses to let the sample play. At first it was just because the song is marked “Beginner Level”, but he recognizes the clip as a tune he’d once caught Peter humming as he worked on some homework. Being the privacy-respecting parental figure he is, Tony had proceeded to tease him relentlessly because One Direction? Wow, Pete, gotta say I didn’t peg you as a pre-teen girl from 2012.

Still, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Peter perk just slightly, the little dork-- and it’s enough that Tony’s pressing the ‘play’ button without further mental argument.

The screen changes to four dancers, two of which are labeled for his and Dum-E’s remotes. As the opening measures of guitar riff begin, Tony mimics the pose of the avatar on screen and peeks over his shoulder.

“I need my tambourine player,” he reminds, and though Peter’s face is twisted in an expression of intrigue, he quickly readies his knuckle against the side of the Chex bowl and starts tapping it in time with the music.

And Tony dances.

“You’re insecure… Don’t know what for. You’re turnin’ heads as you walk through the do-o-or.”

“How the crap?” Tony mutters, watching Dum-E hit every move perfectly whilst his own avatar misses several points. “How-“

“Don’t need make-up… to cover up. Bein’ the way that you are in en-uh-uh-ough.”

The graphics go crazy for the beginning of the chorus and Tony cringes, though that changes when behind him he hears a small laugh that makes his heart stutter. He doesn’t look just yet, just tries harder to wave his remote hand in time with the song with exaggerated movements.

“Baby, you light up my world like nobody else. The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed-“

This is definitely written for preteen girls, he sighs internally. Still... it’s undeniably catchy. To add to the show, he starts mumble-singing out the words aloud as they scroll on-screen:

“The way you smile at the ground, it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t kno-o-ow, you don’t know you’re beautiful-”

That’s when the ‘tambourine’ beats stop. When Tony looks behind him he sees the kid shaking with silent laughter, an open-mouthed smile on his face.

He meets Tony’s eyes and for once there’s no weight of the world there. He’s just-- Peter.

It’s a sight too beautiful to describe.

“Oooh, keep trying!” the game prompts when Tony forgets to keep up. Their eyes flicker to the screen and Tony huffs.

“I’m not cut out for this follow-along stuff,” he says airily, giving up on it completely. “Tony Stark follows no one’s rules but his own.”

And with that, he slings his remote strap around U’s claw and breaks into his own freestyle moves, the ones he usually reserves for dancing in private, when he’s sleep-deprived and a little loopy. Be that as it may, Tony Stark knows he is a good dancer; he never imagined it would come in handy for a moment such as this, but heck, there’s not much he wouldn’t do if it got Peter doubling over in peels of giggles like he is right now.

When the song hits the chorus a second time, Tony grabs a screwdriver off the shelf, turning it upside-down as an impromptu microphone, and he sings the next words directly to his beaming kid:

“Peter, you light up my world like no-bo-dy else. The way that you- have- hair? Na-na-nanana-- The way you smile at the ground, it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t kno-o-ow--”

Peter goes still, a lingering smile on his face as he listens to Tony’s altered lyrics.

“-If only you saw what I can see, you'd understand why I LOVE you so PERFECTLY-- Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe you don't know, oh oh- You don't know you're beautiful! Oh, oh-oh, Pe-ter you’re so beau-ti-ful!”

Tony breathes out, surprisingly choked up. He repeats the message as emphatically as he can, for however many times the song repeats it, his movements getting more silly and more sloppy until the music finally ends, bots trilling excitedly in the background about Dum-E’s somehow-perfect score.

He lowers himself to the ground in front of Peter, panting from exertion. The hum of menu music plays behind them but the game is forgotten.

“Peter Benjamin Parker,” Tony breathes. “You are worth… everything. The whole world. You were, you are, and you always will be.”

Peter’s eyes shine like stars. He melts into Tony’s hold when the man leans forward.

…

Peter has scars, but Peter is not his scars.

#tag as starker and i hunt u down and replace your shampoo with hair remover #im joking but PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS A SHIP #the song is supposed to be cute and silly and dad-jokey #Irondad and Spiderson #tony stark and peter parker #irondad fanfiction #my writing

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mscurious88 · 4 years

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TGD Episode 3x10

In many ways, this episode delivered on the promise of the show’s pilot.

THE GOOD: Everything. BRILLIANT writing, BRILLIANT acting. Off the charts chemistry btw Glassman, Shaun & Lea. It was the equivalent to a “Slap your mama” meal. (i.e. Why are they holding back when they could be this good? ) So much to unpack. It reminded me of “Unbelievable” on Netflix which is an enormous compliment. It brought up how the “good guy’s” ignorance/insensitivity to the victim’s experience/trauma ends up making the situation worse. Someone on twitter compared Lea/Glassman to the devil/angel on Shaun’s shoulder at the gravesite scene. Completely disagree. Glassman urging Shaun to forgive his father/show compassion really undervalued the harm the CRIMINAL abuse & neglect had on Shaun. Lea was Shaun’s victim advocate throughout, making HIS feelings her concern. And that’s how it SHOULD always be.

GLASSMAN AND LEA HOSTILITY: It’s obvious Glassman’s unresolved issues with his daughter clouded his advice to Shaun (ultimately to Shaun’s detriment.) *HOWEVER*, I think they may also be biasing his view of Lea. His quick tone shift when Lea called him “controlling” made me wonder if he’d heard the criticism from his daughter? I LOVED the Lea’s family dysfunction reference bc the audience might’ve easily forgotten it and it was relevant to how she was behaving. It would play not only into how protective she’d be of Shaun with his parents, but may also affect how she reacts to Shaun’s surrogate father’s treatment of him and HERSELF. I think Lea got defensive w/Glassman bc his opinion matters to her and she struggles w/confidence to stick to her guns bc of her own family history. It struck me when Glassman, Lea and Shaun were sitting around the bar table, they’re 3 ppl w/unhappy family relationships who could create a new support unit if Glassman & Lea would support each other.

GLASSMAN MEDDLING IN SHAUN/LEA: I hope the writers dig into Glassman/Lea so much more. It’d not only boost their character development, but their dynamic affects Shaun/Lea greatly so I’m not sure Shaun & Lea can progress much until Glassman/Lea are dealt with. I’m not sure many viewers recognize just how much Glassman has meddled into Shaun/Lea’s relationship. If you think of all the ways he discouraged Lea from being involved romantically w/Shaun and his “you’ll hurt him, You know it. I Know it. “ before she started seeing Jake, and then the way he flip flopped on his advice to Shaun and now the way he’s pushing Shaun to be with Carly? Glassman is the anti cupid for Shea. He’s just more subtle than the typical love obstructing mother trope.

SHAUN/CARLY - Shaun didn’t want her to go with him. He wasn’t going to call her. The contrast in his comfort w/touch from Lea and Carly couldn’t be more stark. I’m BEYOND ready for Shaun to realize Carly isn’t the one for him and for the PAINFULLY awkward Carly/Shaun make out scenes to be over. I fear there will be yet more. I saw on a TGD REDDIT thread ppl explaining diff. reasons why they dislike Shaun/Carly. I agree w/some points. It’s hard for me to pinpoint why I find them supremely uncomfortable. I don’t feel like they’re empowering him & are actually harmful, but I can’t articulate the reason yet.

SHAUN/LEA - SOOOO much easy chemistry. My favorite small moment was Lea’s flirty smile back to Shaun in the bar when he agreed to go swimming and Shaun’s subtle, smitten/pleased with himself, but not flaunting it too much to Glassman expression back. Seriously, that was incredibly played by Freddie Highmore. It was similar to his expression when she invited him in for apples, but extra rich bc Glassman was his audience this time. Everyone notices Highmore’s acting in big emotional scenes like the meltdown ending, but the nuance he captures in conveying blink-and-you’ll-miss-them hints to Shaun’s inner life is extraordinary talent.

Main takeaway was so happy Lea was there for Shaun. It’s interesting to see viewers still distrustful of Lea bc she is flakey. I think Lea deeply loves Shaun & is attracted to him,but she holds back bc SHE is distrustful of herself. Lea didn’t answer Glassman about kids, bc maybe she would like them but doesn’t think she’d be a good mother which was alluded to in the dead fish/“Hubert” story. Also, it was an EXCELLENT touch to mention Lea was busy at work, but still went with Shaun. I so wish the other writers would reference Lea’s life outside of Shaun more, even a single line before she exits about where she’s going or what she’s doing would help. Lea NEVER gets to tell her side of things to anyone and some viewers take the worst possible interpretation to her actions and fail to give her any credit for her kindness. For them, she only exists in relation to what she can do for Shaun, which is the effect of only giving her snippets of scenes revolving entirely around him. Let Lea to be a whole person please.

CLAIRE/MENTAL HEALTH - Thank goodness she called a therapist. Hopeful for the return of old Claire. Truly, one of the best parts of The Good Doctor is how much they tackle mental health issues. On a show about surgeons, they could avoid it, but they’re often the most important plots bc no one challenges treating a physical condition, yet plenty of ppl outright SHAME ppl for treating mental health/neuro conditions.

CLAIRE/MELENDEZ - SO much easy chemistry. Melendez establishing himself as a support system for Claire is perfect. He knows now she won’t ask for help, so he’ll have to show it w/out request and often. This dynamic adds depth to both. LOVE it.

THE BAD: Just wish the episode had been longer. They cut a flashback scene of Shaun being hit that was in the promo, that would have reminded ppl the abuse wasn’t just words. I know Shaun said so, but some ppl aren’t attentive viewers and need reminders. Also sad a Melendaire ER entrance scene in the promo stills was cut. Otherwise, nothing but love. They’ll likely submit this episode for Emmy consideration and they absolutely should. :Chef’s kiss:

#thegooddoctor #The Good Doctor #The Good Doctor ABC #Shaun Murphy #lea dilallo #richard schiff #freddie highmore #melendaire #shea

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itsnina-bitch · 4 years

Text

Podcast part 2

Read the first part first to understand, but a refresher: Bucky and Natasha start a podcast on murder mysteries (CACW and infinity war never happened)

Note: Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language

Part 1:

https://yagirl-ninaa.tumblr.com/post/623139374579712000/note-i-dont-think-the-revengers-are-a-ripoff-but

“Wanna train?”

Natasha asked

Anyone watching would think they were dancing because of their in sinc

So there they were, dogging each other’s blows

Ducking their kicks, trying to pin each other down

It was about 10 minutes in when Natasha manged to pin the soldier

“I win”

Natasha says while hovering over him, almost touching her

“Let’s see”

Round two, the red head wins again

“What happened Barnes? Forgot your morning coffee?”

After one hour of training, the two of them went their separate ways

But Bucky wasn’t going to let that pass

He will manage to pin her down

I mean how hard can it be?

VERY hard.

I mean extremely hard

But he doesn’t know that yet so shhhh

Though he did win a few times

After a long shower he went on with his daily routine, but this time he couldn’t stop thinking of Natasha Romanoff

Fast forward, he meets with her again to help with the script

“What’s the plan agent?”

Except the slightly above average amount of comments of Sam, Steve, Clint and Tony, they were good

It was around 8 pm when someone knocked on his door

“Bucky, we need to talk”

Said Clint before locking the door

Bucky has no idea what happened or what he was going to say

“It’s about Nat. I can tell you like her”

“Is it that obvious?”

“She still hasn’t figured out, but I’m pretty sure the rest of the avengers ship you guy’s”

“Ship? Like a boat?”

After a while, the both of them were talking about Nat, Clint’s early relationship with Laura and some advice

“But if you hurt her; You. Are. Dead.”

Though Clint doesn’t seem like much of a threat, when it came to Nat it his family he would kill him and everyone else in this planet in the blink of an eye

Bucky quietly nodded, knowing that if he did anything to her, he would never forgive himself

Moments later, Clint was back to give him advice on how to ask her out

“Hey buck, dinner’s ready”

Steve said from behind the door

He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t listening to their conversation

Hell, they are SUPER SPYS and can’t hide a conversations

“How long have you been there?”

“Not long...”

He said as the two avengers stare at him

“Long...”

The blond man admitted

“So you and Nat huh?”

After dinner, James told his best friend the whole story, from the red room and hydra to podcasts

Well, most of it

A few details were too intimate, and others were something he wanted to keep to himself

But he didn’t want Steve to feel guilty he couldn’t save him, so he didn’t talk about the pain, the suffering, the flashbacks that crawl at the back of his head

So he ended up just like Clint; he thought it was only an affair, a one time thing, when in reality, he couldn’t be more wrong

“I just hope you’re happy now, with her”

Later that night, the clock read 3:26 am

James couldn’t sleep, as usual

His PTSD was unbearable, and he had to get some fresh air

As he walked out of the compound and into the small garden Wanda instead they should have, feeling the fresh air, he noticed someone was following him

Stopping midway to see who

“Natalia? What are you doing here”

“Natasha, please. Same thing as you I guess”

The widow said

“You know, I’m having these flashbacks, of hydra, the red room... and you”

You could see the pain in his eyes, the fear, but also the slight happiness, of knowing that someone he loved was there with him

But again, in past tense

“You know, I like you too”

Confessed Natalia, or Natasha

“What?”

“Steve is a horrible liar”

“Punk”

Bucky muttered under his breath

He stepped closer to her, and cupped her cheeks with his flesh hand and wrapped her waist with his metal one

“You know Natalia, I missed you. I missed holding you.”

“I missed you too”

And then she kissed him

Though they haven’t kissed in years, it felt natural, but very passionate

Hungrily kissing each other, their tongues exploring each other, and they dove deep in to the kiss

Pulling apart for a moment to catch some air

“I also missed kissing you”

After a hot making out session, they decided to head back inside, and maybe watch a movie

As they sat down on the couch, Nat asked:

“What do you want to watch, James”

Making sure to say James in a casual way, but enough to turn him on

“I don’t know, Natalia. Come here, I have a blanket”

As she crawled over to cuddle, she was surprised as he grabbed her shoulders and pined her down still on the sofa, and started to kiss her

But after a while they decided to watch the movie

The 2 hour 3 minute helped them finally get some sleep

The downside was that Steve and Sam always had a early morning run at around 6 am everyday

So if they didn’t want to get caught, they had to leave early

**2 months later**

That routine continued for a while

Their secret dating went well, nobody knew

Let’s just say that they did more than just kiss now...

Anyways, their relationship was going well, until one day Bucky is seriously hurt in a mission

He had to stay away for a week, so sleeping goes back to being hard, no Bucky for her to cuddle with

She did stay with him at the hospital a lot, speaking mostly in Russian so that the others don’t understand

But one day Thor showed up

“трудно спать без тебя, надеюсь, ты скоро поправишься” (it’s hard to sleep without you , I hope you get well soon)

“Да, я тоже” (yeah, me too)

“так ты в отношениях”

Thor said, leaning in the doorway

“You understand Russian?”

“Yes I do, by are you courting each oth-“

“Yes but don’t tell anyone”

Natasha sighed

“Your secret is safe with me”

Out of nowhere, Tony apears;

“What secret?”

“I do not know, now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to new Asgard”

Luckily, Thor saved them, but they would rather not be teased by their friends, so it’s still a secret

The podcast is still going strong, but tomorrow when Bucky gets out of the hospital they will record an episode and film it live

Meanwhile, Steve and Sam are talking about their new routine: a morning run at 5:30 am twice a week, starting tomorrow

Fast forward to the next day 3:35 am, they decided to watch a 1 hour 58 minute movie

What could go wrong?

“Hey Steve, let’s go.”

“Have you seen my shoes?”

“Check the living room”

When he gets there, he sees Bucky and Nat cuddling, watching the sunrise, with the tv still on

“So you two are together?”

Fuck.

A/N: hey! So I’ll leave this part to your imagination, but my headcanon is that they are now officially together, first they tell the avengers then the podcast. My other headcannon is that the avengers all have sound proof rooms bc it is often for someone to wake up screaming...

This is my second fic so sorry it’s bad! But pls give me suggestions! And personally I prefer the first one but I hope you like this one too! Thanks!

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joneswuzhere · 4 years

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in anticipation of episode 4.14, i watched ‘how to get away with murder’ s1

here’s my thoughts on how rd might be playing out an homage to the show, and on what these parallels might suggest to expect from the whole ‘jughead dies’ plot

below are complete spoilers for ‘how to get away with murder’ s1, a few spoilers for s2 and s3. and also. spoilers for donna tartt’s ‘the secret history.’ cool ok here we go

- first. we’re abbreviating the title to htg

- second. htg’s plot is pretty convoluted and out-of-order, so it’s hard to mention one thing without having to explain four other things. riverdale’s format is so chill in comparison. i apologize for repetition and confusing timeline discussion

- also, maybe u watched this show! or maybe u want to. or maybe ur impatient and just here for riverdale lol. i’m not going to make u scroll through a whole plot summary of htg’s first season. BUT i did write one up here if that’s something u want to read. it will probably make the following easier to understand, but i’ll do my best to make it accessible without that

- third. like i said, my goal here is finding potential parallels and, based on that, speculating on what rd is doing with this plot. i have no conclusions but i do have some thoughts and maybe you do too

- ok the basics of htg:

- this show is the visual inspiration for rd’s flash forward hook, as well as for the murder cover up in the woods.

- the show structure is: a main timeline, intercut occasionally with flash forwards to a murder that happens at the midseason point. similar to rd

- a difference: in rd, the flashes jump to different points over a period of days - burning their clothes, the search party, body identification, then the arrests, the line up, and then back to the ‘death’ scene. in htg, all the flashes jump to different points during one particular night, and only deal with the groups effort to dispose of the body and evidence.

- where was i. oh, but there’s 2 murders in htg. murder #1 happened before the series start point. in the main timeline, the investigation into murder #1 builds up to the midseason climax that results in murder #2 (the one the group is covering up).

- after the timeline has caught up to the midseason murder, then the flash forwards are replaced with flash backs that begin to reveal past details about murder #1.

- so right away, what stands out to me is the possibility that, once the main timeline catches up to whatever happens to jughead in the woods, rd will continue to follow this format. but what would rd flash back to? hang on,

- the genre here is inverted detective story, where instead of finding out someone was killed and following along to find out who did it,, you learn right away who’s doing the murdering and how. the mystery lies in whether they’ll get away with it and/or what led up to that point.

- in htg, murder #1 is a regular mystery, and murder #2 is inverted. in rd, jughead’s death is an inverted mystery, and there’s several other regular mysteries/deaths: chipping’s suspicious suicide, the old generation of the quill & skull society, + the missing kids that jughead and betty are investigating

- so it may transpire that we see flashbacks to those missing students, like moose or the stonewall 5. or maybe context on why chipping jumped, what dupont said to him. or a glimpse into fpj1′s time at stonewall. i’m spitballing

- hm a note on genre here: maybe there’s a conversation to be had about inverted murder mysteries and perfect murders (recall, the theme dupont assigned for the class). like, crime fiction specifically told through the perspective of getting away with it. (a perfect murder is specifically a murder that resists all explanation. no suspects, no evidence)

- ok. the first half of htg s1 is the lead up to the night of murder #2. the second half of the season focuses on how participating in and covering up a murder is affecting the people involved. grief, guilt, anxiety, nightmares. strain and changes in their relationships with each other, friends, and family. again, perhaps we’ll see rd focus on this in a similar way.

- hey btw, does that sound a little familiar to u? it might if you read the secret history. we already know this book is one of the influences behind rd’s s4 plot, but i was surprised at how much overlap is apparent between htg’s plot and the book plot. i made a chart about it lmao. more on that later

- what else fits into a parallel between rd and htg?

- some similarities between characters. htg has a group of law students from privileged backgrounds who are super competitive with each other, similar to the stonewall kids. and there’s the one outsider student who gets into the class last minute, is far less privileged, and who has a tragic past and a head for snooping and investigation.

- there’s a student/teacher affair that gets violent. it goes down pretty much the opposite of in rd; the girl gets pregnant, is totally in love, suggests the affair should be revealed to the teacher’s wife, and then she goes missing and turns up dead (murder #1)

- also, unlike rd where we have only donna’s word, in htg the affair is confirmed, and revealed through a bunch of evidence - dick pics on phones and postmortem pregnancy results, etc

- some other minor details from the show that the rd writers may have reflected upon:

- a window jumper suicide. circumstances very not the same tho

- a blink-and-miss-it scene with a dog named mr. chips, which is the nickname of the film character who rd’s mr. chipping is probably named after (goodbye mr. chips)

- also, ok. the 2 murders story is the show’s long A plot, but each episode also has a short B plot in the form of court cases that annalise and her group of student/interns work on. (btw lead character annalise is a criminal defense lawyer & law professor). details worth mentioning from some of these subplots:

- there’s a case involving cult brainwashing. a former devotee is charged with something terroristic with a bomb she did years ago, idk. annalise has her visit her old cult leader in prison to ask him to help her by testifying that he forced her to participate. this backfires - she falls back under his sway, he escapes custody during the trial, and they run away together, abandoning the family she made after leaving the cult

- in this ep the patty hearst trial is mentioned - the difficulty of trying to legally prove someone acted under duress, or prove they were brainwashed. and how trying to claim both at the same time is a terrible legal defense

- in another case, a woman is charged with murdering her housemaid while sleepwalking. she resists help from annalise bc she feels so guilty. the woman says ‘can u imagine waking up to realize that you killed somebody you loved? that’s what i did.’ except she didn’t; they figure out she was being framed by the real killer, her husband, who was jealous bc he thought he was the only one sleeping with the maid but he found out his teen son was too. yikes

- there is so much cheating in this show smh. anyway,

- these subplots are interesting to compare to rd, but sort of trivial in terms of htg’s overall plot. so what happens in the A plot after murder #2?

- a catch-up if u skipped the plot summary: annalise keating, lawyer, professor, is the central character. she’s direct, takes no shit, and puts up an emotionally impervious wall that keeps almost everyone out. but it’s also apparent from ep1 that she’s really suffering - her marriage is falling apart, she’s cheating and finds out her husband, sam, is too. they agree to repair things and sam seems to be making a big effort, but she keeps catching him in lies that point toward murder #1.

- in the latter half of the season, while she’s helping make sure the kids get away with murder #2 (they accidentally kill sam while pursuing him as the murder suspect), annalise’s grieving process is a focus. there’s an emphasis on her appearance as her armor, guarding her complicated grief over the trauma of her loss and the destruction of her trust. her cold exterior is both a protection and, at the same time, a point of suspicion for police, lawyers, and public who wonder how she can be so unaffected. meanwhile, in private, she has a total breakdown.

- this builds from a parallel that’s played with throughout the season - annalise’s control of her image vs hiding or confronting the truth. like, at one point, it’s evening, she wipes off all her makeup and pulls off her wig, then turns barefaced to her husband and asks him bluntly for the truth, why she caught him in a huge lie. and the flip side, later walking around with her whole look in place, as if nothing is wrong, is part of her effort to cover up the murder.

- i bring this up bc it reminds me of something that (the brilliant, the illuminating) @bettycooperoutfitwatch talked about in her 4.05 post, regarding That Sweater.

- in this post, at the flash forward arrest scene, she points out ‘it’s betty cooper in disguise as betty cooper.’ which, like. i’m floored by this observation

- the persona betty originally created to conform to her parents’ unattainable expectations of perfection and normality, now (not for the first time) dialed up and re-purposed to try to disperse suspicion???? love this

- annalise and betty are very Not alike as characters. but it seems that betty, like annalise, will be involved in the murder of her loved one. i’m interested to see if rd will follow htg’s emphasis on emotional turmoil and pretense in the aftermath of trying to get away with something horrible

- oh but that reminds me, i promised a chart

- i haven’t read the secret history and i have no desire to, but i foraged enough details to be able to point out some bare bones similarities going on here. it’s important to include this bc, at the moment, it complicates any attempt to figure out which, if either, inverted murder plot rd might be paralleling at any time.

- in other words, all my speculations here about htg parallels might be worthless bc i might be looking at the wrong text. it’s cool, i think that makes it more fun

- book spoilers in here. sorry it’s small, u can try to zoom in here

- please feel free to jump in with corrections or more details if you’ve read the book

- [update as of 2/25: i’m reading the fuckin book after all, so i may make another post with an updated chart at some point. maybe]

- last thing. in htg, the inverted mystery (whether or not the kids get away with it) is resolved by annalise planting evidence that frames someone else (whom she chooses bc she’s confident she can get him safely out of the charges). the bottom line there is: someone innocent is framed for murder #2.

- and then a new development - one kid involved in murder #2 freaks out and may decide to turn the others in - leads to a 3rd death. hm (post s4 update: that’s jonathan i guess)

- actually no, the real last thing. wikipedia says there’s a subplot in htg s2 that involves blackmailing annalise and others with uhhhh creepy surveillance videos of them, some that incriminate them in murder #2.

- and then, in s3, drawn out over another series of flash forwards, there’s a character death reveal... of the guy who’s most in parallel to jughead.... lmao. and speak nothing of s6. so like, there’s definitely potential for more or continuing parallels here

- i kind of hope not though, bc i don’t have it in me to watch more of this show. it’s Very high strung, i can’t deal with it (post s4 update: no i never watched any more of this show but yes, that was all definitely used by rd)

- bonus: wait do u want some of my opinions on the actual show?? favorite characters: annalise, bonnie, and oliver. i liked the fast pace but the constant tension stressed me out. also, not enough lesbians; i kept expecting bonnie and annalise to kiss. the guy who plays wes.... not a very good actor, is he? viola davis though: amazing. that’s all. watch if u like stress. sorry i spoiled everything

#riverdale speculation #episode thoughts #least coherent thing i've ever put up here but i sure did write all of that down #anyway i love when rd's plot finds a balance of different homage #man and this isn't even touching on the agatha christie stuff. it'd be neat to see betty's narrative follow something like marta/knives out #not sure how that could work tho since riverdale lacks wealthy people of any benevolence

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firebirdsdaughter · 4 years

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Over Analysis ‘The Gawas will be the Death of Me’ Stage 1: The (1st) Fight

Okay. So. This is gonna be a long post, so I will condense it immediately. Are we ready?

Who am I kidding. Absolutely not.

Warning: rambling be below this point.

We start out w/ Hiden Manufacturing being blown up. Not much to say here other than Fuwa being fond big brother is sweet, Yua looks awfully chill for standing in the ruins of an exploded building, and Jin is doing his best Ankh impression (Nakagawa, honey, I love you, but there is only one Ankh). Until Aruto says:

Jin is surprised a complete stranger is showing more concern for his family than he has been.

I know I complain about Aruto’s characterisation a lot, but I liked this (enough that I think it should have been what Jin brought up when talking to MBR). Ignoring, for the moment, my other issues and pretending that this friendship developed how it could have, this would be a really great scene, esp considering the stuff Jin did previously. Aruto wanting to save the other three in contrast to Jin’s decision to just sacrifice them would be an interesting thing. I wish we got more on it, honestly. It was one of the ways they could have developed from each other. Either way, this comment has an effect on Jin, and when shit starts exploding, he takes off on his own.

MetsuBouRai, meanwhile, are brooding about the MBJR base bc the Ark isn’t talking to them. Raiden’s angry, Naki is dejected, but Horobi is just… Sitting there. Watching, I believe, the same thing Yua is watching on her phone during this stuff, going by the animation.

Naki says this, but it cuts to each of them. Horobi’s head actually turns slightly, while Raiden looks morose for a moment before laughing bitterly and taking out his frustration on that mind hacking helmet (which breaks yet again). Raiden’s always been the most expressive of the three, but Horobi’s reaction also feels import bc of how long he’s been under the Ark’s control, brainwashed into believing that the Ark was the path to saving HumaGear. He’s never once been able to consider the Ark might turn on them or abandon them. Naki and Raiden haven’t been under so long, so while they’re still hacked, they don’t have the same mindless devotion. Naki can question and Raiden can be mocking. But this feels very much like a ‘wait, what?’ moment for Horobi.

… That his conditioning has to immediately reject, insisting that the Ark will come back for them, is really going to save HumaGear. Oh, sweetie.

*I know that the show (? Or at least most sub groups) are referring to the Ark as ‘he,’ I’m just stubborn and like saying ‘she.’ Being voiced by Charden Flamberg won’t stop me.

Jin shows up, announcing, ‘you’re wrong’ and that the Ark can’t be trusted (when did we stop saying ‘the’ Ark?), and it looks like he didn’t stop to shower or anything en route. Come to think… How would he repair that suit? Anyway, he spends the majority of this scene looking right at Horobi, who…

… Doesn’t react. It’s Naki who says something. Jin and Horobi just… Stare at each other. Raiden looks like he thinks he’s interrupting. Lots of tension here. It’s up in the air whether Horobi doesn’t know how to react, or if he actually can’t in the state he’s in at this point. The Ark’s being going at how he processes situations w/ a chainsaw for years, he may be completely unable to figure out how to respond.

Horobi doesn’t even move… Until Jin starts apologising. I don’t we ever saw Baby Jin apologising for anything? Not even when he didn’t get the Mammoth Key back. All three of them seem confused by the apology, but it’s enough to get Horobi out of his game of statue. Obviously he doesn’t think raising the Ark is something to apologise for bc of his enforced loyalty to her. But he doesn’t seem to consider Jin to have to done anything worth apologising for.

As for Jin, this is a moment that makes me inclined to buy that he’s realised he fucked up. I would have appreciated going into that a little more, bc wtf dude, that plan was a clusterfuck even aside from the whole ‘murder my dad for being brainwashed,’ but this ep heavily indicated he realises what he did. And boy is he paying for it.

Jin talks about the plan to destroy the Ark, then goes very quiet and walks up level w/ Horobi, and the shot closes in on the two of them again. It takes him a second to actually look at Horobi… My guess is bc he knows what he’ll see.

… And the award for an absolutely terrible plan goes to… But in all seriousness, Nakagawa Daisuke, everyone, the kid can act. The way he says it, and how he kinda seems to be wavering on his feet, gives the impression he’s just barely keeping it together. I’ve debated about him saying this point blank like this, and on one hand, ouch, on the other… Given my interpretation that Horobi views lying as a human thing and absolutely detests it… Jin might be hoping being straight up w/ him will work better. Or maybe he’s hoping to gauge Horobi’s reaction, bc rather heartbreakingly…

… Horobi doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. In the hopes of keeping images to a minimum, I didn’t include another thing I noticed while going through—Naki doesn’t look back to Horobi until he starts talking, but just seconds before Horobi speaks, Raiden’s gaze switches to him, w/ that kinda concerned look. Just before he talks, Horobi’s head also turns like he’s glancing at the other two, but it’s hard to tell, he’s out of focus (oh, so painfully much), which is actually a little interesting considering he’s being totally calm about his son saying he was trying to kill him. Is it bc the idea of the Ark failing never occurred to him? Or… Does he have so little self worth that he’s completely indifferent to the idea of his death? To me… Probably both. Horobi has lived his entire life for other people, has been brainwashed into a tool of the Ark—and we see what happens when he wavers or tries to be something else later in this ep. While the idea that the Ark would betray them has never been able to occur to him, he’s shown multiple times to be completely calm about the possibility of dying, and this is Jin saying he was going to kill him. But Horobi doesn’t even seem surprised. He just accepts it.

Which I have to feel like is the reaction Jin expected. Why he was so reluctant to look up, bc he knew Horobi would just be… Blank. Bc he knows what the Ark has taken from Horobi, and now he’s actually facing the fact that he made it worse.

When you tell your dad you were planning to kill him and he doesn’t even care. But seriously. He doesn’t even remark on it. Horobi doesn’t care about his own life to the point Jin can point blank say he was planning to kill him and Horobi won’t even blink, much less get upset. Jin’s guilt here, to me, likely isn’t just ‘I helped the Ark rise and now everything is shit,’ but also facing the fact that he’s… ‘Re-reduced’ Horobi to being the Ark’s mere puppet again, esp right after Horobi was actually starting to have some clarity. Gotta wonder if he’s flashing back to that ‘why did I do that?’ moment in episode 35?

I made a comment about Horobi being out of focus when talking about Jin planning to kill him… He comes abruptly into focus when Jin brings up Aruto. Is this about Soreo’s data? Aruto talking about him wanting to be Jin’s father? I have opinions about the way Aruto is talked about in this scene and the things Jin chooses to bring up, and mainly… I just thought this was curious. And… Sunagawa has a very nice profile, so sue me. ^^; (you have no idea how many of these shots just turned into ‘I think this shot is cool! I may share some at the end of this).

When Jin says Aruto can defeat the Ark, Horobi isn’t happy. But he… Looks around weirdly while talking? Starts out looking at Jin, then looks down like he does when he’s thinking, then back up at Jin by the end.

… I have nothing else for this. What? An excuse to use more pictures of Sunagawa? … Leave me alone!

Look at Nakagawa hunching again. Is that to fit everyone in the shot, or is he just doing that?

Jin persists and Horobi… Shouts. And then he doesn’t just shout, he dives forward and grabs Jin’s collar. It’s hard to see in my crappy screen shot, but Jin seems surprised by this, and w/ good reason, Horobi’s not usually emotional. I believe this is only the second time we’ve ever heard him shout… And both times were at Jin about humans. Trying to reject what he possibly sees as their growing influence over his son.

… I wonder. What makes him so desperate to make Jin stop in this moment? Their dynamic may have shifted w/ Jin’s revival, but Jin’s still the person… Well, second to the Ark, he’s the person w/ the most influence over Horobi. Aruto and Fuwa both made slight headway, but when it comes down to it, Jin is Horobi’s, well, singularity point. Why react this way? Even at this point, neither Naki or Raiden were jumping at it. Did the Ark’s engrained influence just want to reject the words, some personal experience w/ humans. Is it the words themselves, or the fact that they’re coming out of Jin? It’s more emotion than he showed on the subject of his own death. Honestly, maybe more emotion than he’s ever shown. Is he rejecting blasphemy against the Ark… Or what he perceives as human influence and control over his son?

But then something interesting happens.

At first, Horobi is clearly furious—but then…

… The Ark… Abruptly stops hacking? Not… Technically weird, but pretty suspicious considering that immediately after…

… Horobi abruptly… Goes back to being passive. He even lets go of Jin’s suit. Did the Ark do something? Giving direct orders or not, he’s still connected. Or did he just not know what to do once he got in there? He and Jin stare at each other for a moment. Did his soft spot for Jin kick back in?

He keeps this much calmer attitude, and is even still looking down when he speaks again.

Who are you trying to convince and why, Horobi?

Jin has apparently forgotten how ‘hacking’ works. Being right on the second point doesn’t excuse the first one, sweetie.

Is it important that it’s just them in this shot? I’d like to think so. My theory is that this whole scenario actually stole something very personal from them that’s never going to really come back, the chance to be a proper family, for Jin to grow up as a child and for Horobi to actually be a proper father. Is the implication that they are ‘HumaGears’ to each other? Until pried from my cold dead hands (break my fingers, Takahashi, break them, I dare you), my interpretation is that Horobi’s actions next time are centred around wanting a world where Jin will be completely safe (someone please tell him there’s no such thing, bc there isn’t, before it gets him killed), that while the goal is safety and peace for all HumaGear… It’s his personal motivation to do it for Jin.

Either way… Putting aside the question of whether Jin is actually as free as he seems to think he is… I was waiting for him to say this to Horobi. Bc hell yes, Horobi deserves to be free of the Ark, and Jin should know that better than anyone. She had Horobi under closer control than anyone else, bc she wanted/needed him to manipulate Jin. He was her tool to move her pawn. And that’s fucked his mental state to hell and back.

Horobi isn’t even able to respond to the concept of ‘free,’ It’s Naki who steps in again.

Jin keeps going, and eventually brings up dreams. I don’t know if that specifically has to do w/ Horobi’s reaction… In my theory, assuming he actually remembered a bit about his past, I can def see ‘our own dreams’ setting of ‘Ark bells’ and making him compulsively reject the notion.

Interestingly, he turns slightly to face the corner before speaking further.

… Well don’t that just sound robotic. ‘Brainwash victim’ alarums go off again.

Jin has another small somber moment. This one feels less ‘messy emotions/wracked w/ guilt’ and more just… Sad. Regretful, too, but not the same exactly? This isn’t so much ‘what have I done?’ anymore as ‘I did this.’

He failed to try at all before. That’s not me being mean, that’s me saying I think that’s what’s going through his head. He might not be thrilled about fighting Horobi as Horobi, but bc he let them down before, he has to power through.

Naki: Do you think they’ll notice if we back towards the door?

Raiden: Trust me, I’m thinking about it.

They fight and Jin loses. Horobi’s got experience, a positively self-destructive lack of self preservation, and I do think Jin was holding back. Making himself fight Horobi as the Ark is one thing, he can just tell himself it’s the Ark, probably easier to be like ‘Horobi can’t be saved’ like that, too (even though Jin bloody reconnected them), but fighting Horobi as Horobi… That’s something else. Esp w/ the knowledge that Horobi is so blankly devoted to the Ark right now bc of something he did.

Jin kinda tries to shuffle away as Horobi approaches… I don’t blame him, that’s Takaiwa Seiji. Don’t fuck w/ Takaiwa Seiji.

Horobi says… But then just stands there, perfectly still, giving no indication that he intends to move, for another ten whole seconds (yes, I counted). He says that, but then doesn’t do anything. Almost like he’s hit a wall. And he has, hasn’t he? The Ark’s influence over him wants to erase anyone who defies it… But Horobi himself has shown multiple times that his actual instinct is to protect Jin. So what does he do when he has a chance to destroy someone vocally against the Ark, but… It’s Jin? He freezes, apparently.

Jin looks up at him like this, kinda pleadingly, and I like the idea that he’s looking… Essentially, for his father. Hesitation, feeling. Any reaction. But while I do see Horobi freezing as a sign of his inability to follow through w/ the threat… It also shows he has no idea how to follow that up. He can’t get beyond the instinctive ‘don’t do this.’ So he just starts playing statue again. That’s gotta be rough for Jin to see, esp w/ the knowledge that he contributed to rendering Horobi this messed up. Again.

When he sees nothing, he looks away again. Maybe trying to gather nerve in the face of the nigh zombie-like state he’s seeing his father in. We cut a few times between him and Horobi as he starts talking, between Jin being more emotional, and Horobi’s continually blank countenance.

Jin doesn’t look back up until he asks if killing him is something Horobi wants. This expression doesn’t read hopeful either way. Does he want Horobi to indicate it’s not, bc he wants his father to still care about him, or does he want Horobi to be upset that he tried to kill him, to show some sign of self worth/preservation? Hard to know, but it’s definitely pleading again.

Naturally, the first words that come to Horobi’s mind. And, yes, it is. The Ark wants detractors to disappear. But in this situation… That conflicts w/ what Horobi himself truly wants. And he reacts. He’s directly confront ed w/ a contradiction, w/ the realisation that the Ark’s will hasn’t completely replaced his own. He’s conditioned to follow the Ark’s will no matter what, he doesn’t want to kill Jin. He’s in disagreement w/ the Ark’s will. Big no no. What he’s saying ‘no’ to is a little unclear, but I like thinking that he’s realising he doesn’t want what the Ark would want. It’s also interesting how the focus shifts from him to Naki and Raiden. Presumably, they are effected by seeing Horobi be uncertain about the Ark’s will, and that contributes to everyone’s reactions.

I love Jin’s reaction to Horobi lowering the bow. He makes this emotional little sound, and watches the bow for a moment before looking anxiously up at Horobi—looking for a reaction again, if there’s anything more. But Horobi’s just… In a daze. I still don’t know if Jin is relieved by this, or if he was hoping Horobi would be personally angry at him. Kind of puts me in mind of a moment from Prince of Persia where Dastan tells his brother that the dagger rewinds time and then stabs himself, and when his brother uses it and tells Dastan he died right in front of him, Dastan’s reaction is a breathless ‘you used it!’ from the relief that his brother cared/trusted him enough. Jin’s reaction kind of makes me think of that, amazement and relief and even kind of gladness that he matters enough to Horobi that this would actually cause his father to waver from his brainwashing. Which, while really sweet and a testament to what Jin genuinely means to Horobi, is also heart breaking and shows off just what the Ark (and thus Gai, by creating it) took from them, that this is how we see that Jin is important to Horobi. It should just be bc he’s his dad, bc hugs and family times. But the Ark took that from them. It shows that Horobi cares about Jin, but it’s also glaring show of what they lost/missed out on bc of the Ark.

There’s also something else about Jin’s reaction if you look closely at his hands.

His right hand shifts, lifting up slightly, like his first instinct was to reach out to Horobi, try to solidify whatever’s happening—but in the end, he doesn’t commit, and…

Horobi wanders off, in some sort of confused trance. We don’t see his face at all here.

It’s been pointed out to me that these two are always reaching out to each other and never quite making it, and… Accurate. Feels like yet another example of just how badly they’ve been fucked over and what was taken from them. I just really hope they finally get to connect before… Whatever happens.

#Kamen Rider Zero-One #Kamen Rider Zero One #Zero-One Spoilers #Zero One Spoilers #my precious evil stoic scorpion dad #Zero-One Over Analysis #The Gawas will be the Death of Me #there's probably so much more I can say that escaped my brain #but I started feeling really sick part way through this #still do so #we'll take it easy #Binary Retro Rider

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