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#but when I suddenly take a day to answer his message because I am processing his bullshit he STRAIGHT UP CLAIMS HOW HE HAS BEEN TRYING TO SO
hyunniesgirl · 8 months
Text
Call it what you want
Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader
Summary: You and Hyunjin were never on the best terms but when you're cheated on and your ex is trying to get you back, Hyunjin does everything he can to prevent it from happening.
Genre: enemies(ish) to lovers, smut, fluff
Words count: 4,102
Warnings for this chapter: cheating, mentions of violence, insecure thoughts(if there's anything missing let me know)
A/N: english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes please let me know.
Chapter one: shameless
Next chapter: drunk
+18 minors do not interact!!!
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That week was the worst since you started college. Everything was going wrong. You had bombed on your last exam, forgot a project due to that week and to top it off you were on your period with cramps that could surely kill you.
You're used to these symptoms by now, sometimes you even faint from the pain. So a day before your best friend's birthday party you let all your friends and your boyfriend know that you won't be able to show up.
Turns out that after you rested a lot and took some really strong meds you are well enough to get up. The truth is that even though you are still feeling weak and nauseous, you will make some extra effort because it's Jisung's birthday.
You don't bother dressing up, all you care is to be comfortable so a hood and sweats are enough.
When you arrived, the party was already crowded. Jisung's house is huge so to be bustling with people like this he must have invited half of the people in school.
"Hey! What are you doing here?", you hear Chan's voice as soon as you enter the door.
"Am I not welcome?", you joke, giving him a hug and he smiles.
"Of course you are, I just thought you were sick", he says, examining you to see if you're alright.
"I am, but I took some meds so I could come", you say looking around, trying to find the birthday boy.
Before Chan could answer you, someone catches his attention, you look up his shoulder and see Hyunjin, one of your friend's friends, he looks at you up and down and raises an eyebrow.
"Y/L/N"
You roll your eyes, "Hwang"
He whispers something to Chan, but you're not interested nor well enough to pick a fight with him at the moment, so you say bye to Chan and go looking for Jisung.
You don't find him anywhere downstairs so you go look on the second floor, maybe he's in his room. Before opening the door you take a deep breath preparing mentally, if he is hooking up with someone you'll just congratulate him later.
He's not there though. You take your phone out of your pocket and send him a message asking about his whereabouts. You begin wandering around, expecting his response and looking in the other rooms to see if you can find him or anyone else you know.
And you do find someone.
Your boyfriend.
Your dear boyfriend on top of a girl you don't know.
Never in a million years would you have expected your boyfriend to cheat on you, so it was pretty shocking when you saw him in that situation.
"Are you fucking kidding me?", that's the only thing you were able to say, to convey your feelings, there's a lot running through your mind at the moment: confusion, hurt, disgust, anger.
You say it loud enough for them and the people in the corridor to listen.
"Y-Y/N?", he stammers looking like he is seeing a ghost.
Your mind is flowing with so many thoughts you can't process it, the only thing you know is that you need proof so he or anyone won't be able to gaslighting you in thinking you saw it wrong.
You have your phone in your hand, so you open the camera and take a picture. He's still there paralyzed. Is it fear? Embarrassment? Does he not care enough to try and explain himself?
You are not thinking straight but you have to get out of there. You need to.
You're feeling dizzy, suddenly the medicine you took lost all effect and you are feeling sick again. Your blood is boiling and you want to cry, but you can't, not in front of so many people.
Soon as you are downstairs you begin to see double and your steps begin to falter, you try with all your mighty to walk straight. But when everything turns black and you feel your legs giving out, you can't feel the ground when you fall.
When you regain consciousness you're inside of a car and to your surprise you see Hyunjin there, looking at you with the most worried face you have ever seen on him. When he sees you blinking and opening your eyes his uninterested look comes back as if the worry from before was never there.
"Where are we?", you ask, not thinking too much about it, putting your hand on your head. Now you have a headache too.
"In front of your house", he says and you look outside checking that you can see the wood fence with flowers from the vertical garden you planted under the balcony of your room last year.
"What happened?"
"You fainted in the middle of the party", he answers looking at the street.
"And why are you here?", you try to understand, very confused as to why would he, of all people, do that?
Hyunjin doesn't like you, you don't know why and you usually don't mind because you don't like him either. Something about him brings a bitter taste to your mouth, you're not sure of what.
Maybe it's that air about him, always full of himself, always looking utterly uninterested. Or maybe the fact that he plays with girls left and right makes you uncomfortable.
You even had a crush on him at some point, before you faced reality: you wouldn't be more than one of his conquests, so you stayed aside and your feelings began to subside with time.
"I was going home already and the guys asked me to bring you"
He doesn't look at you and that bothers you more than you are willing to admit. "They didn't come because they were taking care of your boyfriend", he says, clearing his throat, looking awkward.
"Ex"
"What?", his eyes meet yours too quickly making you turn away to avoid his gaze.
"It's ex boyfriend", you answer fidgeting with your fingers.
Of course you didn't break up with him yet but surely no one would hold that against you when he is the one who cheated.
The events of the night suddenly come crashing at you, you feel the tears brimming, so you open the car door getting out the faster you can.
You can't let Hyunjin see you cry, not him or anyone. Not because of that disgusting prick.
"Thanks for the ride, next time I see you coffee's on me", not turning to look at him you walk towards your house.
After getting to the safety of your room you can let your tears run freely. Why would Eric do that? Things were okay between you too, you always tried to be the best girlfriend possible to him, so why?
The pain you feel in your chest makes you feel like you can't breathe, your head is spinning and you just fall to your knees, sitting right there on the floor with not much strength to go to your bed.
You thought he loved you. Is love supposed to feel like this?
You take your phone out of your pocket and see it going off with messages from your friends. You open the group chat:
Chan: Y/N are you alright?
Minho: you shouldn't have come, you were feeling ill all day.
Felix: you were already sick, that asshole just made it worse.
Yeji: do you want us to come over?
Jisung: answer us when you wake up, please.
Ryujin: we already gave him a good beating but just say the word and we can do it again.
Innie: we're worried sick so please don't isolate yourself.
You close your eyes, you have to answer so they won't show up at your house because you know they will if you don't give them a sign that you're alive.
You: hey guys I'm alright, I just really need to sleep my cramps are killing me.
You didn't want to worry them, you knew they would do anything for you and that's enough. You didn't want your friends throwing a pity party because you were cheated on.
You force yourself to move, going to the bathroom and starting the hot water. Slowly you take your clothes off and enter the tub sitting there hugging your legs and thinking about every moment of your relationship, trying to think where it went wrong, did you do something? Did you miss any signs of him being disinterested or anything that could explain his behavior?
You know it's not your fault, of course it isn't. If he thought something was wrong he could have talked with you, if he didn't like you anymore he could break up, why would he break your trust like that?
It all comes back to the same question: why?
After at least 40 minutes you finish showering and get out of the bathroom, drying your hair and wrapping yourself in the fluffiest bathrobe you could find. You make yourself comfortable on the bed and try to get some sleep, at least in your dreams the pain would go away.
•••
You wake up feeling like you were run over by a train and that's because you didn't sleep at all. You woke up half a dozen times and everytime you would feel a moment of peace before your brain remembered what happened, those precious seconds where you felt like everything was okay and then you were miserable again. That's when you started crying again, falling asleep again only when exhaustion took over.
And that same thing repeated itself over and over till it was morning and you just couldn't sleep anymore.
Being sunday you don't have much to distract yourself from your thoughts. You look at the time, it's only seven in the morning.You do all the homework and projects you can think of, even the ones that are due in two months and when you look again it's not even afternoon yet.
You turn on your phone, you had turned it off because even though your friends had asked you not to, all you wanted to do right now was to isolate yourself.
Babe: can we talk?
Babe: I swear I can explain.
You scoff, changing his name. Tears come back to your eyes and the aching pain on your chest becomes stronger.
Jerk: babe, please.
You: fuck off.
Blockcontact
Does he really think he can talk his way out of this situation? You could maybe be tricked if someone had told you about what happened but you saw it with your own eyes, him all over her.
You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself.
You see that some of your friends sent you messages too:
Chaeryeong: heyy? How are you?
Chaeryeong: wanna go shopping? It always lifts your mood.
Chan: if you want to talk, we're here, okay?
There were a lot of similar messages sent by your other friends but you answered them all saying you're okay.
•••
You stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyebags are huge and even after putting makeup on it didn't help much. It seems like two nights without sleep are difficult to hide.
So you get dressed and try to look your best, you wouldn't let anyone think you're having a hard time.
You hear the sound of your doorbell, which is weird since it's too early for the mailman to be delivering your correspondence and you're not expecting anyone.
You open the door and find Chan and Felix arguing about something, they stop fighting and look at you when they see you there.
"Good morning", Chan says, giving you a kiss on the cheek.
"Good morning, what are you doing here?"
"We thought it would be nice to have breakfast together and give you a ride after", Felix answers, lifting the box full of doughnuts in his hands.
They were worried, you could see in their eyes even though they were keeping a smile on their face. You should have known that just saying you were alright wouldn't reassure them.
You take a step out of the house, closing the door.
"Let's pick up some coffee then, my treat", you say, walking past them, stopping outside of Chan's car. "The front seat is mine", you say to Felix.
"Fine", he answers pouting.
After getting your well needed coffee, you three eat in the car in the college parking lot. You see Chan and Felix exchanging looks, surely arguing silently about who's going to ask how you're doing.
"Could you guys please stop?", you ask and both look at you like they were caught doing something they are not supposed to.
"What are you talking about?", Felix asks, clearing his throat.
"About the elephant in the room", you smile sadly finishing your coffee. "I'm going to be fine, okay? It's not the end of the world"
It's not your first break up, you know the pain will pass and then you'll remember about it and feel nothing. But for now, knowing that doesn't make it hurt less.
Chan sighs.
"Just tell us if you're having a hard time", he says, "even if you don't want to, talk to us"
You nod, you really do want their support.
"Let's go to class, okay? Our marketing project won't finish itself"
They smile painfully, we hate this class.
•••
It's awkward to be looking for Hyunjin. You got him an Iced Americano to pay up for the ride like you promised.
He's in the art studio looking really focused while painting something, so you don't know if it's okay to interrupt him.
When you enter the room, the door closes after you with a huge noise making him look in your direction.
He stands up too quickly, splashing the paint he has on his hand directly on his upper body, thankfully he's wearing an apron so it doesn't stain his clothes.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you", you say, getting closer.
He gives you a kind smile you didn't expect, "It's okay"
"I just wanted to give you this", you shake the cup in your hand offering it to him, he frowns while taking the drink. "That night I told you coffee would be on me next time, so here it is", you remember him.
"Thanks, you didn't have to", he sips the drink anyway.
"I did", you clear your throat, why are you so nervous? Maybe it's stressful to be nice to him. "You were kind enough to take me home and wait till I woke up, this is the least I can do"
He gives you a smile, sitting on the table next to the easel he was painting on. He keeps staring at you without saying a thing and that does nothing to ease your nerves making you squeeze the straps of your bag.
I should get going, you're ready to say.
"I hope we can be more than just acquaintances", he says finishing his drink.
You almost choke on the air you just inhaled.
"How so?"
He smiles, that pretentious smile you hate so much.
"We have a lot of friends in common, I think it's time to end this animosity between us.
"Should I remind you that you were the one that didn't like me first?", you point it out. It's really funny for him to say those things when he's the one that started this whole thing.
"I never disliked you, you were the one that scoffed at me and rolled your eyes everytime I said anything"
You're offended now, does he want to pretend he's innocent?
"Excuse me? When I had just started hanging out with the guys you were the one that always kept staring at me so intensely I was sure you wanted to kill me", you cross your arms, "I'm really good at taking a cue, I knew you didn't want me there so I just did you a favor and avoided you"
He smiles amused, making you even madder.
"I suppose you're not as good as you think then", he answers.
You roll your eyes, you're not giving him the pleasure of asking to elaborate.
"Anyway, I have class", you turn going to the door.
"What about my request?", he asks before you can reach the handle.
"I'll think about it", you say halfheartedly, you probably won't.
•••
The week went by without much bigger events, you cried in the college bathroom sometimes, then called one of your friends and you went to eat something. You are really grateful that everyone made time for you, they never left you alone so you were always laughing and having fun even though your heart still aches.
On saturday night there was a party in one of the campus frat houses, your friends made sure to invite you and convince you to go.
You were not in the best mood, but you wanted to be strong to show everyone and yourself that Eric didn't affect you.
Waiting for all your friends to get ready was no easy feat, so when you arrived at the party two hours after it started, the house was already crowded.
There were people throwing up, hooking up, jumping in the pool and you could swear you saw someone running... without clothes.
"Want to play truth or dare?", Yeji askes sliding her arm around your shoulder.
You really don't, but you don't want to be a bore.
"Sure", you say, following her to the second floor where you find at least 20 people, including Eric.
Yeji's eyes grow wide.
"Hey, who invited him?", she angrily asks a girl and she shrugs too drunk to even speak a complete sentence.
"I told them to not invite him, I'm sorry", she says anxiously, "we don't have to play, we can go downstairs and dance?"
You wanted to get away from there, you really didn't want to face him. But at the same time you didn't want to run away, he did wrong so he should be the one leaving.
"It's ok, let's play", you say walking towards the circle of people and sitting where there was space for two.
That week you found out that someone filmed Ryujin and Changbin beating the shit out of Eric after you left the party and that made you feel pretty satisfied, knowing someone got your back.
You felt Eric's eyes on you, you knew he wouldn't try anything with your friends close. But he sure could make you uncomfortable by staring.
The game begins, they explain the rules and where it's okay to go with the dares. The bottle is spinning.
You always thought truth or dare is just an excuse for people to make out with someone they want without being rejected.
The guys that weren't playing and are just lurking are serving drinks, so you take a shot of tequila hoping the alcohol will help you relax.
The bottle stops, pointing at you.
"Truth or dare?", they ask you.
"Dare, I guess?", it's obvious that if you answer "truth" they're going to ask why you and Eric broke up and you're not feeling in the mood to tell everyone what happened. They sigh disappointed, people are going to find out eventually but you're not ready to be the one to spread the news.
One of them smiles mischievously and whispers something to the person who's going to give you the dare.
"Seven minutes in heaven with Hwang Hyunjin", they say.
Well, that's better than having to answer a painful truth. You're used to Hyunjin, he's always with your friends so it won't be difficult.You really didn't think much about his request so you're hoping he won't bring it up now.
You two walk into the closet hearing people continuing the game after you close the door.
"How are you?", he asks after some time.
You can't see his face and wonder if he has that same worried expression he had in his car after the whole thing with Eric.
"I'm good", you say. You felt much better in that enclosed place than out there with so many eyes watching. You hear Hyunjin rustling, he's moving closer. He puts his hand on your arm and you flinch.
"Sorry, it's just weird talking without knowing where you are"
You nod even though he can't see you, "it's okay"
It's even more weird for them to talk for more than a minute without starting a fight. Suddenly you have a very bad idea.
"Can you do me a favor?", you're not sure if it's the alcohol kicking in or just you being dumb, maybe both.
"What's it?"
"Can you kiss me?", you say embarrassed, regretting it the moment it leaves your mouth, "you don't have to, it's just... I want to hurt him", you explain.
Hyunjin doesn't say a thing so you're sure he's just going to ignore your request. Then, you feel his fingers sliding up your arms and arriving at your neck soon after he cups your face caressing your cheeks.
You can feel his breathing so close it's inebriating.
"Can I?", he asks for permission even though you were the one who asked him to do it. He probably is giving you a chance to take it back, but you don't want to.
You won't admit it but in that moment you didn't care about your ex, all you cared about was how every place Hyunjin touched was burning and how his warm breath mixed with yours.
You nod again, humming with your eyes already closed. When his lips touch yours it's an explosion of sensations: his lips, his touch, his scent, everything about him is warm. You have to wrap your arms around his neck for some support, because your legs are giving out and his hair feels so good through your fingers you could die. You were feeling that ache sensation in your lower stomach and you knew you had to stop, you couldn't feel that way about him.
The door opens suddenly and you're forced to let go of each other, everyone is watching and they are shocked to say the least, of course, everyone knew about your ongoing feud so they sent you two there to see how long you could last until one of you killed the other.
You finally remember why you asked Hyunjin to kiss you when you see Eric's face, he's angry and hurt. And that's what you were going for but why do you feel so bad? When you look back to Hyunjin he's avoiding your gaze, his lips full of your red lipstick.
Should you talk to him? Should you thank him for the help? Should you tell him that was the best kiss you ever had? You can't say a thing because you're too shocked to even think straight, so you just sit again ignoring Yeji's wide eyes.
You stay there for another 30 minutes before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving the room. Hyunjin is not there anymore, you didn't see when he left, too immersed in your own thoughts to pay attention to anything else.
After leaving Yeji there playing, you go downstairs. Maybe a drink will help you feel better.
Eric didn't try talking to you with your friend there but you don't know if he's going to try when you're alone so it's best to find someone you know.
You get to the first floor, going to the drink's table, you are sure one of your friends is going to be there and you do find Felix talking to a girl you're almost sure is a freshman. You don't want to interrupt his flirting so you just lurk around him tasting some mix of drinks.
You see Chaeryeong across the room, you wave seeing her smiling to you. You down the drink you have in your hands and grab a bottle of water hoping your hangover is not going to be that bad. You go in Chaeryeong direction when you see Hyunjin next to her, he's kissing someone and you can't help stopping in your tracks.
What did you expect? That he would fall for you after a kiss? Of course not and you didn't want that too. You're not sure why you feel so shocked, you just didn't think he would be all over another person right after kissing you. But that's exactly why you don't like him, right? Because he's a player.
He was just doing you a favor, you should thank him at the right moment and that's the end of where your relationship goes.
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kidstemplatte · 5 months
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the greatest
summary: cardinal copia becomes a father.
warnings: brief mention of suicide || wc: 8.3k
notes: reader is terzo's wife. i recommend checking out my other works to learn more about the (now expanding) family! message at the end as per usual, enjoy <3
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“You’d be a good Papa.”
His niece’s kind words still echoed in his mind, even after nearly five years.
The Cardinal had wanted to become a father for quite some time now but wasn’t sure if he was fit for the job. He was a bit of a child, which could be considered a pro or a con; the upside being he was fun and pure-hearted, the downside that he could be a tad chaotic. 
When Copia was summoned to Sister Imperator’s office, he assumed it was because he had forgotten to turn off the stove again or left the sink running, habits from his youth he was yet to abandon even as a middle-aged man. Bracing himself for another lecture, the Cardinal took a deep breath in and out before knocking three times on the sturdy oak door.
“Come in.” A hoarse voice rang from within the room.
Copia gently pushed the door open and entered the lavish office. Sister Imperator’s office couldn’t differ anymore from the Cardinal’s, sporting a classy yet minimalistic aesthetic decked in shades of brown and black. Meanwhile, Copia’s office had “Copia” written all over it in big cartoonish block letters, thanks to the dozens of figurines and comic books lining the shelves, as well as other dorky memorabilia. Sister Imperator sat behind her meticulously organized desk, her clasped hands resting on the polished wood.
“Hello, Sister.” Copia greeted the woman formally, bowing his head as he took a seat in the plush chair across from hers.
“Cardinal.” She returned the greeting with a brief nod, before instantly diving into her reason for his summoning. “Do you recall, a few years back, when a Sister of the Austrian chapter took her own life?” she inquired.
Of course he did, how could he not? It was a tragic day, each chapter holding its own memorial ceremony for the young woman.
“Oh. Sì, I do.” Copia answered, saddened at the remembrance of the event. 
“Well, she had a son additionally, who had an absent father.” 
Been there. 
“They have done their best to take care of the boy since he was just a newborn- he’s resided in the church his whole life- but as he’s gotten older, they’ve decided it’s simply not fit for him to grow up without a permanent system of support.” She explained.
Copia suddenly became much more alert, his eyes widening and posture straightening. “You mean… a family?” 
“C, if you’re interested…”
Sister Imperator noticed a longing in her son’s eyes that she had not seen in a long time- not since he was but a child brimming with curiosity, a subtle glow that surfaced only when he wanted something deeply, most of the time, an answer- but this time- it was more than curiosity, it was yearning. “Now would be the time.”
“Yes.” The Cardinal blurted out. “Yes.”
“The adoption process is not easy- let alone raising a child. This is a massive responsibility. Are you sure you can handle this on top of a Cardinal’s duties?” She cautioned him.
“Yes, Mother.” He reiterated.
She froze.
“I want this more than anything.” He pleaded.
“I will notify them of your consideration.” She nodded.
“Thank you. Thank you so much. Grazie. Grazie.” The Cardinal repeated like a mantra, placing his hands together as he bowed his head in gratitude. 
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Gently shutting the door to your son’s room, you walked down the hall and into the living space, pleasantly surprised to see your brother-in-law sitting in a lounge chair across from the couch. “Hi, Copia! What a nice surprise.” You greeted him with a smile. “Sorry, I just put Vinnie to bed. Am I allowed to join, or is this a brother talk?” 
“Please, join us.” Copia gestured. “Is Violetta here?” he asked. 
“Oh, she’s in her room. She’s not feeling very well tonight.”
“Oh, I am sorry to hear that, let her know I said hello.” Copia responded.
“Will do. So, what is going on?” Terzo asked, reaching to the coffee table in front of him and pouring his brother a glass of wine.
Copia took a deep breath in and began. “Sister Imperator called me into her office today and gave me some news.”
“News that..?”
You elbowed Terzo in response to his impatience. “Let the man speak!”
“Eh, do you remember when a woman of the Austrian chapter, um… She took her own life?”
“Johanna?” You asked.
“You knew her?”
“Not too personally, but yes. I met her years back when I studied briefly in Innsbruck. She was a lovely woman.” You recalled, sadness beginning to tug at your heart. “Sorry, continue.” You dismissed yourself, knowing if you continued, there would surely be a few tears. 
“Oh, no, do not apologize. Please, continue, if you are comfortable.”
“Okay.” you sniffled, laughing nervously. “There’s not much else, it’s just- it was sad. My bad, go on.”
Your husband placed a loving hand over yours, a subtle way he reminded you that you were safe with him.
Copia nodded. “Well, she had a son, who has lived in the church his whole life. But, um, they are considering finding him a more traditional… family.” He explained.
“Here?” Terzo inquired.
“Si, ah… with me.”
“You are adopting him?” 
“If everything goes according to plan, yes.” He replied slightly hesitantly.
“You’re gonna be a dad, Copia!” You nearly cried, your face lighting up with joy.
He laughed, a smile grazing his face at the idea. “Ah, well, we don’t know for sure yet. The process is a bit difficult. I fear it won’t work out.”
“Copia, you can’t mourn the loss of something that’s just beginning!” You encouraged him.
“Do you think Sister Imperator would ever propose such a thing to someone she didn’t trust could do it?” pointed out Terzo.
“That is a good point,” Copia replied. “I just… even if it works out… what if I am not… good?” He rambled anxiously.
“Not good? Our kids can’t get enough of you.” Terzo reassured his brother.
The Cardinal smiled at the thought of his niece and nephew.
“So what do you know about him?” You asked eagerly.
“Well, ah, that’s actually all I know… And that he’s four years old.”
“Oh my gosh! He’s the same age as Vinnie! It was meant to be!” You gushed, excitedly waving your hands. “Copia. I think it’s gonna happen. I really, really do.”
“Thank you, Y/N.” He expressed his gratitude with a heartfelt smile.
“Mommy?” You heard a voice squeak in the distance.
Turning around in your spot on the couch, a small figure stood down the hallway.
“Hi, Vinnie. What’s wrong?” You asked, a gentle tone adorning your voice. “Excuse me, I’ll be back.” You told your brother-in-law and husband as you rose to your son’s aid.
“Copia.” Terzo addressed his brother, his voice suddenly earnest.
“Yes?”
“When have I ever lied to you?”
Pondering the question and recalling no particular incident, he shrugged.
“Exactly. You can do this,” stated Terzo, his words few yet meaningful, clearly touching the heart of his beloved half-brother.
“Thank you, Terzo.”
Terzo smiled, his eyes conveying a depth of sincerity. “I mean it, fratello.”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
The Cardinal closed the door to his small abode and let out a hefty sigh. His expression softened a little as he caught sight of the large cage sitting on a table against the wall, inside containing two furry friends. Inside the enclosure stood a gray rat, once brown, perched on his hind feet and clutching onto the metal bars, eagerly waiting for his Papa’s return. 
“Ciao, Bean.” Copia cooed, opening the drawer below his cage and opening their bag of food. “I’m guessing your brother is…” Copia scanned his eyes around the cage, his suspicions confirmed once he noticed Pesto’s nose peeking out from a small wooden hideout. “Ah, did I wake you up, my Bestie Pestie? I apologize. Buon appetito, little ones.” He said, opening their cage and pouring their food as the little rodents scurried to their bowls.
That night, the Cardinal felt inclined to do something he hadn’t done in a long time. 
Overwhelmed with an immense sense of desperation, Copia prayed on his own in the solitude of his room. He knelt beside his bed, knees on the hardwood floor as he placed his hands together and shut his eyes tight, a soft sigh escaping his lips before he began his prayer.
“Tua empietà, so che è passato un po' di tempo. perdonami, ti prego, ma devo chiederti una cosa. per favore, satana, concedimi il dono della paternità, per favore. Farò qualsiasi cosa, viaggerò all'inferno e ritorno, per trasformare questo sogno in realtà. Prego che il ragazzo stia bene e al sicuro e trovi la sua nuova casa tra le mura del clero.”
And just as Copia was lying in bed, about to doze off, he opened his heavy eyes; and through the darkness of the room caught sight of a poster featuring a cat, reading “Hang in there, baby!”, a silly yet needed reminder for Copia to persevere.
He needed this. More than he had ever needed anything in his entire life. 
Little did he know, the boy needed him just as much.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Throughout the next few months, the adoption process was proven to be just as lengthy and overwhelming as it was described as, the heightened levels of anxiety meaning Copia frequently had trouble sleeping, finding himself spending late nights in the Clergy’s grand library. Basking in the comfort of a large plush chair a few feet from the crackling fireplace, Copia was nose-deep in a book entitled “Raising Your Children With Satan.” 
“Can’t sleep?” A voice said just a few feet from where the Cardinal sat in the plush armchair. Looking up, Copia was faced with his eldest brother, Primo.
“Primo! What are you-”
“I had a feeling you might be here.” The man reckoned. “I understand these are stressful times, but you need to get some rest, for Satan’s sake! You look exhausted!”
“Ay, but that’s why I can’t sleep! I just toss and turn in bed for hours and hours until I give up.” He complained, punctuating his sentence with a sigh.
“You know I have all sorts of remedies for that. Why did you not ask me?”
“I… I don’t know. I guess I felt like I was already asking too much of people.” The Cardinal admitted, sighing and setting his book down on the table beside him.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think you’ve asked a single thing of me throughout this whole process.”
Copia opened his mouth to respond, but no retaliations were heard as he realized that Primo was, in fact, correct. As usual. “I suppose… that is true.”
“Indeed it is. But I want to let you know you can always ask anything of me, Copia. I am not a father, but you could say I’ve done my fair share of parenting.” He chuckled. “And beyond that, I’m your brother, I’m here for you no matter what the issue is. Even if I cannot relate fully.” He comforted Copia, reaching across and placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Thank you. I’m just… very scared.” The Cardinal admitted.
“Why is that?” questioned Primo.
“I have no idea what I’m doing. Parenting. I just… I have- no idea.”
Parenting?
Just outside the walls of the library, Violetta, unable to fall asleep, stood with her ear pressed against the door, her mouth agape as she began to piece together the fragments of the conversation. Her uncle, Copia, had been notably distant lately, and now, standing on the precipice of this revelation, she couldn't help but wonder if this- parenting- was the reason. Primo's laughter, warm and familiar, seeped through the walls, filling the air with a sense of camaraderie. 
"Nobody does, fratello. Do you know how scared Terzo was? He was at my door practically every other night, rambling to me because he was too concerned he would further stress (Y/N) with all his worries."
Violetta's heart fluttered with a mix of emotions. Thrilled by the news that her beloved uncle was going to be a father, she couldn't shake the twinge of hurt that accompanied the realization that she hadn't been enlightened of this information. Her young mind grappled with conflicting sentiments—elation for the impending addition to the family, yet a pang of longing for the connection she wished she had shared with Copia. As the weight of the revelation settled, tears began to well up in her eyes, her heart aching while she turned around and silently made her way back to her room.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
6 months had passed since Sister Imperator gave her son the news: There was a little boy in Innsbruck, Austria, who needed a permanent system of support. Or, in normal people terms, a family. And there Copia sat in the very same chair he did on that first day, anxiously leaning forward while Sister Imperator gave him an even better piece of news: he had found one.
“It’s official.” 
It was like time froze; the months of meetings and paperwork, and beyond that, years of longing, had all led up to this pivotal moment.
“I- we- it’s been finalized?” Copia exclaimed. “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.” 
Sister Imperator suddenly felt a surge in her heart, upon witnessing her son’s ecstatic reaction.
“Congratulations, Copia. You’re a father.”
Thank Satan Copia always kept a handkerchief in his pocket. 
“…C?”
“I know I was not a perfect mother. And, I…” She hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “I want to do better this time around as a grandmother. And a mother. You are my family, and I’ve been quiet about that. It is the biggest regret I’ve ever had. But you, Copia, are not a secret. You are my son.” She confessed, reaching across the desk to place her hand over Copia’s. “And I am proud of you.”
“Thank you, Mother.”
“I love you, Copia.”
“I love you too.”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Copia spent the next few weeks frantically preparing for the arrival of the new family member. His Cardinal’s suite he had resided in for years was now empty, as he was moving into a larger suite with an extra bedroom and bathroom. The man was beyond stressed- He didn’t know how to properly decorate a room for a child, let alone assemble the furniture. Copia was quite satisfied with the simple layout of his old room, with strikingly lavish decor consisting of a pull-out bed, lava lamp, and a cat poster that read, “Hang in there, Baby!” Yeah, he was definitely taking that. Unsure at first who to ask for help, the Cardinal realized the person best suited for the job was his dear sister-in-law.
“This is such a nice space!” You gawked, following him into the room that would soon belong to the young boy. “And it has such a nice view!” Walking to the window, you were astonished to see the room was just in view of the Clergy’s beautiful garden and somber forest behind it. “Okay, so I think since it’s a twin bed, it should go against this wall,” you suggested. "There’s gonna still be some space after assembling this stuff,” you gestured to the boxes lying against the wall, “but maybe we should leave some space so he can pick what he wants.”
“Okie dokie. Sounds good. Shall we get to work?” Copia prompted.
Your attempt to build the bed was short-lived, you and your brother-in-law soon cackling loudly at your evident lack of skills.
“Damn you, IKEA,” Copia chuckled, squinting at the fine print on the instruction manual.
“What’s going on in here?” You heard a familiar voice echo through the bare room, your husband walking inside and noticing you two were having some trouble with the task at hand.
“We’re just, ah... struggling a bit with this furniture.” Copia laughed, gesturing to the various pieces in front of him.
“I know just the ghoul who can assist,” Terzo replied.
“Oh, it’s fine, we can figure it out-”
“Nonsense! Omega!” Terzo clapped his hands, to which the ghoul quite literally appeared out of thin air. “Hello, Omega!” chimed Terzo, who loved nothing more than to torment the poor man.
“Hello, Papa. Copia. Y/N.” Omega greeted you.
“Would you be a dear and assemble this furniture for my dear brother?”
“It- it has instruc-“
“Yes, and so do you, silly ghoul!” Terzo said, reaching to pat the tall man on the back and holding his hand out towards the unassembled bedframe.
Omega sighed and chuckled, “Yes, Papa.”
“Thank you, Omega.” 
Suddenly, Terzo crept behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, your eyes widening in fear of his next words, though your face heated up at his contact. Your husband, though you loved him dearly, often had little-to-no filter regarding intimate matters, and his sudden affection warned you he was about to let something slip. “It feels like just yesterday we were making Omega set up the nursery…” He reminisced.
“Terzo, ‘we’ is you. I didn’t make him do anything.” You laughed.
“You know, maybe we’ll do the next one ourselves.” he suggested wickedly, completely ignoring the innocent bystanders in the room.
“The next one? No, sir.” You swatted his wandering hand.
“I’m going to put this drill through my ears.” You heard Omega mumble in the corner.
“So, Copia! Three weeks! That’s so soon!” You exclaimed. "We're gonna tell the kids tomorrow." You announced, grinning at the thought of their reactions.
"Oh boy. I wonder how they will react."
"They will be beyond thrilled." Terzo reassured Copia.
Through the window, the sky was fading into a hazy orange. “Papa, don’t you have a meeting soon?” Omega asked his boss, who was known for being just a tad forgetful.
“I appreciate your help, dear Omega, but the meeting is on Thursday.” He said assuredly, a satisfied smile on his face.
“Today is Thursday.”
“What- it is?” Terzo exclaimed, checking his watch, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he realized he had a mere minute to make it to his office. “Shit!” Terzo began dashing out of the room, then spun around on his heels as he realized he had forgotten something very important. Leaning towards you, your husband gave you your ritual-esque goodbye kiss, pecking you on the cheek before turning around once again and bolting off.
“If he can do it, so can you.” You laughed with your brother-in-law, beginning to assist Omega with his newly-assigned task.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Violetta couldn’t sleep. She figured there might be someone else who couldn’t either, someone she hadn’t spoken to in a while. Carefully tiptoeing through the dark hall and down the stairs, she made her way to the library with deliberate caution. Entering the library, she caught sight of Copia sitting in a cozy armchair, nose deep in a book, completely oblivious of her presence, as he had seemingly been for the past few months. His eyes darted up as he caught sight of his 10-year-old niece in her pajamas, standing by the entrance with her arms crossed. 
“Violetta!” He exclaimed, frantically shutting the book and setting it aside. “What are you doing up so late?” 
“I dunno. Sometimes I walk around at night when I can’t sleep. But, uh, I also thought you might be here.” His niece answered anxiously.
“Eh- Why do you think that?”
She shrugged, an awkward silence plaguing the room before Violetta broke the ice. “Is that a parenting book?” She asked, pointing to the book Copia had tossed aside.
“Uh…”  Clearly, it was a parenting book. It had the word “PARENTING” engraved on the spine in shiny gold lettering- there was no way for him to play it off. “Yes.” 
“Why are you reading a parenting book?” Before her uncle could respond, she immediately regretted asking, feeling uneasy about the question. It wasn't a lie, per se, but it felt dishonest considering she was well aware of the reason. “Actually… I’m sorry. I know why.” She confessed, looking at the ground, a sense of guilt flooding her heart.
Copia was dumbfounded. How did she find out? It’s not that he was upset she knew, he just didn’t understand how that came to be- he was positive Terzo didn’t tell her, nor the other brothers. Had he let something slip?
“How did you find out?” Copia asked.
“I… I heard a conversation you and Primo had in here. I’m sorry I listened. I didn’t tell anyone. I promise.” she confessed, her voice becoming shaky as her eyes remained glued to the ground. 
“Oh, Violetta, it’s okay.”
“…Okay.” She said, still feeling guilty.
“I'm sorry Violetta, you do not have to cry, it’s okay. I promise, it is. I didn’t want to keep anything secret from you, I was just scared that if things did not go as planned, it would disappoint you.” He reassured her, his voice gentle and caring.
“I didn’t disappoint you, right?” Violetta sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes as she looked him in the eyes once again.
“No, no, no- I would have done the same thing. In fact, I’m very impressed and honored that you kept it a secret. That is not easy.” He lovingly comforted her.
Violetta smiled. “Thanks.”
“I'm sorry I have not spent much time with you recently... I have been so busy. But he is almost here, after all this time.”
“He?”
“Ay, I really can’t keep my mouth shut, can I?” he laughed. “Well, I might as well tell you more since I’ve already begun…” he figured, patting the arm of the seat next to him.
Violetta smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes as she took a seat beside him. “I missed you.” 
“I missed you too, my dear Violetta.” 
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Though Violetta unconventionally discovered her uncle’s secret, her brother’s reaction was a drastically different experience. You and Terzo called your son into the living room, to which he bolted in and looked up at you with his sparkling mismatched eyes. 
“Vinnie, do you want to hear something very exciting?” Terzo cheerfully asked his son, picking him up and placing him into his lap as he bounced his leg up and down, often one of the few ways to keep him from moving around on his own.
“Yes! Please! Please!” Vinnie begged, giggling.
“You have a cousin that’s going to be here very soon!” Terzo informed him.
“What?!” Vinnie gawked.
“Yes! Your Uncle Copi is going to adopt a boy who’s exactly your age!” You exclaimed, sitting beside them on the couch.
“Yay!!! What’s adopt?” Vinnie tilted his head.
“You know Violetta’s good friend Carmen?” You asked him.
“Yeah!” 
“Do you remember her two mommies?” 
“Yeah!”
“They adopted Carmen. She was born somewhere else but then she became their baby!” You continued.
“Oh, okay,” Vinnie responded. 
“And Uncle Copi is adopting a son from Austria!” You explained enthusiastically.
“With the koalas?”
Terzo chuckled. “You’re very close, Vinnie. That’s Australia.” He said, ruffling his son's hair.
“Oh, I get it. He’s in…”
“Austria.” You assisted him.
“He’s in Austria now and he’s gonna be here! And now Uncle Copia is going to be his Papa.” Vinnie processed.
“Sì!”
“Okay. Yay! When do I get to meet my new cousin?” Your son asked eagerly.
“Two weeks.” You replied.
“Two whole weeks?” Vinnie repeated as you had just informed him he would have to wait a millennium. “I thought you said soon!”
“I know, we’re all very excited.” Terzo added, amused by his son’s enthusiasm.
“I’m so excited! Yay, cousin!” The little boy started kicking his feet, a telltale sign that he needed to let some energy out. Vinnie was a little fireball, constantly moving. While Violetta grew up satisfied with playing in the comfort of her room, her brother was like a windup toy, exhibiting bursts of energy before inevitably crashing and needing to rest. “Can I go outside?” He asked, pointing at the door.
You and Terzo were familiar with Vinnie’s harmless need to release his energy and sought to embrace it rather than suppress it. Terzo chuckled, gently placing his son on the ground, walking over to the door and opening it. Vinnie wasted no time, darting through the doorway at lightning speed while you and Terzo laughed.
“He’s so adorable.” You observed your son, zooming around in circles around the grass like a little Tasmanian devil.
“I hope he never grows out of his spark.” Terzo chuckled.
“He won’t. Not as long as you’re his Papa.”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Soon, the long-awaited day arrived. Copia and Sister Imperator stood in anticipation by the doors of the entrance. Though he was incredibly fearful, he had been waiting for this day his entire life, he put on a brave face. He couldn’t let his nerves show. Not now. Who was he to be afraid when the poor boy was certainly terrified and confused beyond measure? It was Copia’s responsibility to ensure the boy felt safe and welcome in the Clergy; he couldn’t do that if he himself was displaying unease. The solemn moment was interrupted by a knock on the door, making Copia jolt in shock. His mother, noticing his panic, placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft yet reassuring smile.
“In,” she gently instructed, the two breathing in, a ritual they often did when Copia was younger and feeling anxious, “And out.”
Copia exhaled his worries, letting them disappear into the air, smiling at his mother before opening the door and being faced with a social worker and a little boy. He had blonde hair, dusty freckles, and a pair of glimmering blue eyes, wearing a pair of blue headphones of sorts around his neck. His eyes spastically darted around, to the ground, to the door, to the sky, to the walls of the church, and for a brief moment, Copia. The poor boy was visibly petrified, having been through a lot of travel and confusion that was surely enough to rattle his young mind, gripping the straps of his backpack tightly.
“Hello, Augustus.” Copia greeted the boy. We’re very happy to have you here.”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
The walk to the suite was silent, minus the sound of echoing footsteps in the grand hallway. “How are you, Augustus?” He broke the silence. 
The little boy held out a thumbs up. Copia decided to continue speaking, not necessarily looking for a response, but to lighten the air.
“I know you are from Austria. I myself have never been, but I want to go. Maybe one day you can take me. But first you'll have to get your pilot's license. That was a dream I once had: to be a pilot. But, alas, I am afraid of heights. And look! We are here!” he announced, gesturing to the door of their suite.
After a small tour of the new space, Copia finally led Augustus to his bedroom. “I apologize, it’s a little boring right now, but we will fix it up in no time. However you like.” He said, opening the door for Augustus. The room was fairly empty minus the essentials: a bed, dresser, nightstand, rug. Despite the room’s humble appearance, Augustus’s eyes lit up enlivened at the idea of having his own space. “You can either stay here, or we can look around more. Up to you.”
Augustus paused to think for a moment, then pointed to the door.
“Okie dokie, we can explore. Do you want to see the library?” Copia inquired.
His eyes lit up.
“Library?”
Yes! A word! Thank you, Satan! A choir of angels sang in Copia’s head as he celebrated this small yet mighty victory.
“Yes, we have a rather nice library! Would you like to go?” He questioned.
“Yes!” Augustus chirped.
Copia and Augustus exited the bedroom, walking through the living space and to the front door.
“Are you ready to go?” Copia asked.
Augustus seemed conflicted, his gaze drifting off to somewhere else in the room. “Is… is something-“ Copia, lost on what to do, awkwardly looked aside, until a bright blue object caught his eye- something he must have set aside during their tour. “Eh… Oh. You want your headphones?” He asked.
Augustus nodded, a small smile forming on his face. Copia walked to the counter and picked up the headphones, approaching Augustus once again. Crouching down to be at eye level with the little boy, he extended the headphones toward him. “Here you go, good sir!”
Augustus smiled appreciatively and took them into his hands.
“Where we are about to go is very quiet. But, of course, you can still wear them if you’d like.” the Cardinal consoled gently.
“Okay. Just in case.” Augustus replied, placing them around his neck.
“Just in case.” Copia reiterated. “Ready?”
“Okie dokie.” Augustus said, holding out a thumbs up.
Copia and Augustus walked through the halls of the abbey as the boy eyed his surroundings curiously, counting each brick on the wall as they passed through.
"This is our library," Copia declared as they entered the large doors, a sense of pride evident in his voice. Though the library was nearly ancient, he had played a large part in its organization. Augustus’s eyes twinkled with wonder as he stared in awe at the utopia surrounding him, lined wall-to-wall with books of all kinds.
“Very cool, right?”
Augusted smiled wide and nodded, looking up to meet eyes with Copia, which made his heart warm.
“Do you have a favorite book?” Copia asked Augustus.
“The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.” he answered, nearly instantly.
Copia’s jaw dropped. One, because clearly this kid was a genius, two, because that was a book he held dear to his heart, and three, because that was the longest phrase he had uttered the whole day.
“Wow, that’s a big kid book. You must be a very smart boy. I happen to love that book, though I certainly wasn’t reading it at your age. Have you read the others?” he asked.
He tilted his head, not fully understanding Copia’s question.
“The story continues in other books.” He explained. 
“Really?” He asked, his eyes widening in excitement.
“Yes, it’s a series. And whaddya know…” Copia trailed his finger across the vast collection of books as he strolled along the shelves, until-
“They’re all right here!” exclaimed Copia, who had led them both to the fiction section of the library. 
Augustus’s head nearly exploded at this newly found information, a large smile spreading across his face.
“And there are movies.” Copia informed him.
The boy’s jaw dropped. “Movies?”
Oh, this was gonna be great.
In the middle of their lighthearted conversation appeared Secondo, in the mood for some refined literature. His facial expression molded into a soft smile as he observed Copia and the young boy discussing the classic novel.
Copia caught sight of his older brother in the corner of his eye. "Oh! Hello there!" He greeted his brother as he made his way towards them. "Augustus, this is your Uncle Secondo."
"Hello to you, Augustus. I'm Secondo. It is very nice to meet you.” Secondo said warmly, reaching out his much larger hand and shaking the boy's. “Nice, strong handshake. Good for you.” Secondo praised the boy with a smile. “And what is that book you are holding?”
Augustus, feeling shy, held up the book and pointed at the title engraved on the spine. 
“Wow, that’s a grown up book! It looks like we have a distinguished gentleman on our hands. Have you met your other zios yet?”
“Not quite yet. But I was planning on taking him to meet his cousins after he sees the garden.” Copia answered for Augustus, still a tad nervous.
“How fun! Well, I won’t bother you two any longer. Very nice to meet you, Augustus. I look forward to seeing you again soon.” He said with a warm smile, waving and exiting the room.
“I like him.” Augustus commented.
“Secondo is great. Looks like this was a successful trip!” Copia exclaimed. 
“Are we going to the garden?” Augustus asked, placing the book in his backpack.
“Only if you want to.” Copia replied.
Augustus nodded.
“Okie dokie, off we go!”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Copia and Augustus paced outside in the grass, Augustus’s smile growing wider and wider as the two approached the Clergy's lavish garden.
“Do you like the outdoors?” Copia asked Augustus.
“Yes.” Augustus answered. “This is so cool!” He exclaimed, in awe of the wonderland in front of him, longing to get lost in its winding path. 
Among the vibrant colors of the flowers, an older man quietly tended to the garden, crouching in front of a bed of hydrangeas, an aura of wisdom and insight radiating from him. Hearing footsteps nearing on the gravel, he turned his head towards Copia and Augustus, giving them a soft wave. 
“Why hello, there. Very nice to meet you, you must be Augustus.” He spoke softly but warmly.
The boy nodded sheepishly, staring at the flowers in Primo’s hands.
“Augustus. That’s a good name. Better than good. Do you know what it means?”
Augustus looked up to meet Primo’s gaze, and shook his head.
“Great.” Primo revealed.
“Oh. Really?” Augustus asked.
“Indeed.” He nodded. “Do you have a favorite flower?” Primo stood up, Copia and Augustus beginning to follow him along the edge of the the flowing stream.
Augustus looked around the garden for a moment, contemplating which of the many flowers he preferred. “I like the sunflowers.” answered Augustus, pointing to the yellow flowers just a few feet away.
“So do I. They are a classic choice.” Primo agreed. “Sometimes I find myself in here not just to expand the garden, but to find peace in its stillness. It is very quiet out here, but there are many noises to be noticed. The sounds of the stream, birds chirping, sometimes pesky animals that want a snack.” He conversed.
Augustus gasped, his love of animals evident in his jovial reaction. “What kind of animals?” 
“Squirrels most often, but rabbits as well. You know who also likes animals?” Primo asked.
“Who?”
Primo pointed at Copia, who smiled fondly.
“I do, that is true.”
“Maybe one day you two will have a little pet.” Primo winked as Augustus looked up at Copia, his hands fidgeting with excitement.
The three continued their wholesome exchange as Primo taught Augustus all about the flowers and plants, curiosity brimming in his eyes. Copia observed Augustus’s interactions with his uncle, admiring the boy’s gentle and inquisitive nature that ignited a sense of youthfulness in his heart.
“Lovely to meet you, Augustus. You are what some would call an old soul. Maybe even wiser than me, even at my age.” Primo chuckled.
“Nice to meet you.” Augustus responded, finding comfort in Primo’s serenity and knowledge.
“Ay, the sun is already setting…” Primo remarked, the garden’s vibrant colors beginning to dull down as the sun prepared itself to rest.
“Ready to go inside and, if you’re ready, meet your cousins?” Copia asked Augustus, to which he nodded, holding out a thumbs up.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
As the Cardinal raised his hand to knock at the door of the suite you and Terzo shared, Augustus suddenly felt a surge of uncertainty, and without thinking, grabbed Copia’s hand.
Copia, shocked by the sudden contact, looked down at Augustus with concern in his eyes. 
“You okay?” He checked in on the boy.
Augustus nodded. “Nervous.”
“We don’t have to go inside if you don’t want to.”
“I do.” Augustus decided.
“Okay. We can take a deep breath and go inside. Okie dokie?” He comforted Augustus.
“Okie dokie.” Augustus repeated.
“In,”
The two of them inhaled in unison.
“And out.”
Phew.
“Ready?” Copia asked Augustus.
“Mhm.”
Copia stood up and knocked three times on the door of the large Papal suite, which nearly instantly swung open. In front of them stood a man with jet black hair in a black suit, face covered in white and black paint.  
Augustus tapped Copia on the shoulder, waving his hand for him to lean in. He abided, leaning down to hear whatever it was he had to say. Augustus cupped his hand over his mouth and stage whispered, “Is that Dracula?” 
Copia nearly cackled.
“No, that’s your Uncle Terzo.” The Cardinal chuckled.
“Oh. Okay.”
“Dracula?!” Terzo exclaimed. “You flatter me! I’m Terzo, it’s very nice to meet you.” Terzo greeted, holding out his gloved hand for the boy to shake.
“Hi. I’m Augustus.” the boy said, taking his hand and shaking it.
“Augustus! So nice to have you in our family. There are a few other people here who are excited to meet you.”
“Feeling up to it?” Copia asked. 
Augustus nodded. 
“Okie dokie. Your Aunt (Y/N) and cousin Vinnie are here as well. Your cousin Violetta will be back from school soon.” Copia told Augustus.
Just around the corner, you were eagerly listening; after hearing of Augustus’s agreement, you walked down the hall to your son’s room, where you found him pacing in circles.
“Is he here yet?” He asked before you even got the chance to inform him he had arrived.
“He’s here! Come say hi! But remember, he’s nervous, so be very sweet.” You reminded him.
“Okay!” Vinnie agreed as you took his hand and walked him to the living room. As you entered the room and caught sight of your nephew the for the first time, your heart nearly melted. He was utterly adorable, golden hair, rosy cheeks, and freckles dappling his face; he looked like a little cherub. You turned to look down at your son and were elated to see his face lit up.
You gently crouched to the ground to meet your nephew at eye-level, noticing his eyes darting away from your gaze.
“Hi, Augustus. I’m (Y/N). It’s so nice to meet you!” You said, softening your voice. “This is Vinnie, your cousin, who is so excited to meet you.” 
“If you couldn’t tell.” Terzo joked, gesturing to his son, filled to the brim with energy.
“Hi! I’m Vinnie!” The boy excitedly introduced himself.
“Alright, Augustus. I’ll be back very soon.” Copia said to Augustus. “Have fun, and if you need anything, just let your Uncle Terzo or Aunt (Y/N) know. And if you need me, you can also let them know, okie dokie?”
Augustus nodded. “Okie dokie.”
“Do you want to play?” Vinnie asked, to which Augustus nodded once again.
“Okay, let’s go!” Vinnie announced, leaving no room for a verbal response as he grabbed Augustus’s hand, fingers intertwining, and eagerly took off to his room.
Though Copia kept a smile on his face, it was evident he was overwhelmed, understandably.
“You’re doing great.” You consoled Copia, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Thank you, (Y/N). I greatly appreciate your help.” He expressed his gratitude.
“Of course, you don’t have to thank me.”
“He likes you, Copia,” Terzo observed.
“I hope so.”
“No, seriously, he likes you. It’s his first day here and he’s already holding your hand and clinging to your side. It’s precious.” You added in agreement.
“Sì, Copia, you have nothing to worry about,” Terzo reassured him.
“Thank you. And, uh, Terzo, can I borrow one of your ghouls? I have a little last-minute project for his room I’d love to get done.”
Meanwhile, just down the hall, Vinnie had dragged Augustus to his bedroom, animatedly explaining its contents, from his favorite toys scattered across the floor to the pictures on the wall.
“This is my room.” He announced. “And this is my bed and this is my rug. And this is my bookshelf and these are my books that my Mama and Papa read to me. Sometimes my sister. And these are my toys.”
Augustus listened patiently as Vinnie kept talking, admiring the contents of his room.
“Do you like it?” Vinnie asked once he was finished with his grand tour.
“I love it.”
“Yay, thanks! I like your headphones.” Vinnie complimented him. “Sometimes my Papa wears them when he listens to death music. Once he let me hear. Don’t tell my mom. Cause there’s bad words.”
Augustus giggled. “Can I draw?” he asked, unzipping his backpack.
“Sure,” Vinnie said as Augustus pulled out a box of crayons and a stack of paper, laying them on the ground for them to share. 
“Do you like to draw?” Augustus inquired, pulling a beige crayon out of the box
“I’m no good,” Vinnie answered.
“That’s okay.” Augustus pushed the crayons towards his cousin.
Hesitating at first, Vinnie reached into the box and pulled out a green crayon, beginning to scribble on a blank sheet of paper. The boys sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company until Vinnie caught sight of Augustus’s paper and noticed his artistry.
“That’s really good!” Vinnie complimented him.
“Thank you.” Augustus looked up, making eye contact with the raven-haired boy.
“I don’t even know what I have.” Vinnie laughed, looking at the chaos on his paper.
“Grass,” Augustus said, pointing at the drawing, covered in green scribbles. “You can make a house or animals or flowers or trees on top.”
“Oh. Good idea. House.”
"And then you can add people and make it a home," Augustus suggested.
The two went back to drawing in silence until a knock was heard, a girl standing in the doorway.
“Hi, Augustus!” she said. “I’m Violetta. How are you?”
Augustus held out a thumbs up, still concentrating on his paper.
“That’s good. Are you drawing? That’s cool.”
“Duh. He’s really good.” Vinnie told his sister, pointing at his cousin’s paper.
Violetta took a seat beside Augustus on the carpet, peering over at his drawing.
“Wow, that looks really good!” Violetta remarked, impressed by Augustus’ skills; on his paper was a drawing that appeared to be a self-portrait. “There’s a lot of space left. Any other ideas on what to add next?”
Augustus nodded.
“Well, I can’t wait to see!” Violetta said enthusiastically.
The boy smiled and looked up at Violetta, appreciative of her welcoming nature. As his eyes met her gaze, he noticed her black hair similar to her brother’s, as well as a dark red marking adorning the left side of her face. Anxious regarding Augustus’s staring, Violetta suddenly became self-conscious, looking away from the boy and fidgeting with her hands. She mentally prepared herself for a blunt comment, as she had faced many times before, especially from young children.
“I like it,” Augustus said sweetly, pointing to her face.
“Oh.” Violetta said, lost as to how she should respond, not expecting such a kind comment. “Thank you. I like your freckles.”
“Thank you,” Augustus replied with a smile, then went back to perfecting his masterpiece.
Violetta’s heart felt full. The kindness Augustus displayed towards her was unexpected, and caught her off-guard.
“I have homework to do, but it was nice meeting you, Augustus. I’m so excited that you’re my cousin.” She said farewell to Augustus, waving and exiting the room.
“Bye-bye, Violetta.” He said, waving his hand at the girl.
“My sister is cool,” Vinnie said. “She can also draw good.”
“Really?” Augustus said.
“Yeah. She’s awesome. Let’s play spies!” Vinnie declared, a sudden shift in topic, one that didn’t bother Augustus. “But we need something first.”
“What?” Augustus tilted his head.
“We need IDs,” Vinnie stated.
“You’re right! Spy IDs.” Augustus agreed.
“Can you draw them, though?” Vinnie asked, unsure of his abilities.
“Yeah!” 
“Alright, let’s do it!”
Augustus’s time spent with his cousin had clearly lightened his mood. By the time Copia had come to pick up Augustus, he was non-stop giggling with Vinnie, his expression soon resting in an adorable smile, dimples on display.
“Hi, Augustus. It looks like you had fun.” The Cardinal smiled, walking into Vinnie’s room.
“Yeah, I did.” Augustus cheerfully responded, looking Copia in the eyes.
“Ready to head back home and have something to eat?” 
“Yeah!”
After a fulfilling meal of spaghetti and meatballs- which Copia would have to make more often, the plate was empty in what seemed like a millisecond- Augustus was exhausted, but still enthusiastic upon discovering the surprise waiting for him.
“Wow!” Augustus said, standing in his room in front of the newly added bookshelf. “How did that happen so fast?”
“Magic,” Copia responded.
“Woah.” He said in awe, mouth agape as his ocean eyes glimmered.
“And now you can put your first book on it!”
“Oh!” Augustus exclaimed, taking off his backpack, unzipping it, and taking out the book. He walked over to the bookshelf, standing on his tallest tippy-toes and placing it on the shelf.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
“Goodnight, Augustus. If you need anything, I am just down the hallway, okie dokie?” He said, holding out a thumbs up.
Augustus, tucked snugly under the covers, held out a thumbs up in return. “Okie dokie.”
Copia, leaving the door just slightly ajar, made his way back to his room. Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he sighed deeply, picking apart the man staring back at him with tears in his eyes, who still didn’t seem much like a father. The day went well, he thought, but there was no doubt it was all incredibly overwhelming. Did he overwhelm Augustus? What could he do to help him come out of his shell? 
“Day one of fatherhood and I’m already a wreck,”Copia mentally belittled himself. In the middle of his spiral, he heard a quiet knock on the door. 
Like magic, Copia nearly teleported to the door and sucked back his tears; a superpower that supposedly came with becoming a parent. There Augustus stood in the doorway, tears running down his rosy cheeks.
“Augustus! What’s wrong?” He fretted, crouching in front of him, concern etched on his face.
“I can’t-” Augustus sniffled, Copia’s heart instantly shattering. “I can’t sleep.” the boy softly cried.
“Oh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Copia consoled him. “Can I give you a hug?”
Augusted answered by holding out his arms, to which Copia immediately wrapped his arms around him.
“It’s very hard. I know. I know.” Copia comforted him, though he wanted to cry just as much. Through the sniffles and hiccups, Copia soon heard a giggle escape Augustus’s mouth. Copia gently pulled away from the hug, as Augustus smiled and pointed to the wall behind Copia. Turning around, he noticed his iconic poster hanging proudly - ‘Hang in there baby!’
“Oh, the poster? It is funny, isn’t it?”
Augustus nodded. “I like the cat.”
“So do I. Do you want it?”
“Really?” He asked, wiping tears from his eyes.
“Sì. We can put it up in your room.”
“Sì is yes?”
“Oh! Sì- Yes. Sì means ‘yes’ in Italian.”
“Okay. Yay!”
“I always seem to catch sight of that silly cat when I need it most…” He remarked. “Speaking of a cat… I know a very good story involving a lion, a witch, and a specific piece of furniture if you’d like to read it together.”
Augustus grinned wide, his joy completely replacing the tears he had shed just moments ago.
Copia followed Augustus into his room, carrying the framed poster, and setting it beside a stack of paper on top of the dresser.
“He will sleep here tonight, but we will put him on the wall tomorrow.” Copia said as Augustus crawled into bed and under the covers. “All snug?”
Augustus nodded.
“Okie dokie. Here we go. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.” He began. “Once there were…” Copia began, and soon noticed Augustus holding up four fingers.
“Ah, you are correct! Four children. And their names were…”
“Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy,” he repeated.
“And you remember them in the right order, too! Wow. Very good memory you have!”
“Thank you,” Augustus replied, smiling.
“This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air raids. They were sent to the house of an old Professor who lived in the heart of the country, ten miles from the nearest railway station and two miles from the nearest post office…”
Copia continued reading the story as Augustus found his eyes growing heavy under the soothing cadence of Copia’s voice. 
“This is the land of Narnia, said the Faun, where we are now; all that lies between the lamp post and the-”
Copia peered above the book and caught sight of Augustus, eyes shut and mouth agape, his breathing establishing a steady rhythm . Augustus had made it to sleep before they even made it to Narnia. Copia smiled, closing the book softly, careful not to disturb the now-sleeping Augustus. The Cardinal remained seated on the side of the bed for a moment, basking in heights of graciousness he didn't even know were humanly possible; he felt blessed that this precious little boy, whos life clearly had not been easy, was safe with the Clergy, was safe with him.
Placing the book on top of the nightstand and turning off the lamp, Copia carefully stood up and began to tiptoe out of the room, stopping when he noticed a sheet of paper sitting atop the dresser. He knew drawings were an important and often personal form of self expression, especially for children, but he couldn’t help but be curious as to what Augustus had come up with; he seemed like a creative spirit. Through the darkness of the room, squinting at the paper, Copia was able to make out two figures with writing on top.
Yeah, he was gonna be be a good Papa. Better than good, great. Some may even say the greatest.
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OMG YALL😭😭😭😭
first things first,
i can’t apologize enough for my absence!!! this story became way longer than i thought it would but i hope it was worth it!!! now that this is done i have other WIP stories i can finally continue working on that include augustus!!!
i love dad copia so much y’all omg i can't even, vinnie and augustus are twin flames omg im so excited to show yall more <3
thank you SO MUCH for reading i can’t thank you enough, i love y’all so much!!!! thank you for your love and patience!!! more stuff coming up SOON <3
<3, alice
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Thiam AU Angst
Liam dies not because of Scott or Monroe or even a rogue hunter. Liam dies in a fire saving children. He dies and Theo can not blame anyone. Even when he obsesses over the many routes his little wolf could’ve taken, he realises it’s just all on bad luck.
The day they bury Liam, Theo doesn’t cry, the day Jenna and Dr.Geyer move out of Beacon Hills, urging him to come with them. He tells them he can’t leave Liam alone. They call him every two weeks and he answers because Liam isn’t there to reassure them that their fine.
The McCall pack reach out to him from time to time, Scott at first but later on Scott gets too busy. Theo doesn’t even care, nothing matters anymore. Lydia checks in on him each month, four months into Liam being gone he asks her why and she tells him the truth. Because Liam doesn’t want him doing anything stupid.
Malia had left Beacon Hills the week after Liam’s funeral, having punched him a few times and blaming him until Jenna had stopped her and told her to apologise. He understood her anger though, he should’ve been there for Liam.
Mason had been the worst. The rest of the puppy pack had all messaged him, visited him and FaceTimed him. But Mason had been bawling non-stop for four weeks until Theo had been asked to speak with him. Ever since than the two had promised to visit Liam’s grave at least once every month until it stopped hurting.
It was that day again, the first anniversary of Liam’s death. Theo had been waiting for Mason at the gates, even Fred the security guard had came over and talked with him.
“Theo?” Mason called out tentatively as if scared he would be wrong and Theo looked up from where he had been remembering the last moment he had with Liam.
Mason looked well, he was clean shaved and wearing a coat, it was winter and they were still a few days out from proper snow. Theo had acknowledged him, the two quietly making their way to Liam’s grave.
They stood there staring down at the engraved tombstone.
William Eugene Dunbar
03/24/1999 - 07/12/2022
“Y’know he would’ve been pissed to know we had his full name on the tombstone” Mason chuckled fondly. Theo didn’t say a word, suddenly feeling all too emotional. It was like something had been switched, as he fell to his knees.
Mason’s presence next to him, “Theo?”, “He was going to study History, maybe get into teaching, but he wanted to stay close to home” he gasped out.
Everything he had been holding back came out, like he had bottled everything up inside for far too long. As he tried to take deep breaths, “He wasn’t suppose to die like this, we were going to move out of Beacon Hills once we had saved enough” he cried out.
Mason didn’t say a word and Theo was grateful.
“I should’ve been with him that day, but I was picking up the rings, and he’s dead and I never even got to propose, I’ll never get that moment back”.
Theo began punching the ground beneath him, “It hurts, it’s like I can’t breathe without him, Mason please just make it stop” his tears falling down, his face blotchy and red.
His friend just stares at him, eyes sincere and as sad as he feels, “I can’t Theo, the hurt doesn’t stop, it’ll never stop”, “How am I suppose to go on without him?”.
Mason takes a moment, one moment and Theo stays quiet, “If it had been you, no listen to me, if it had been you, what would you have wanted Liam to do?”
Theo blinks at him, trying to process his question, it hits him and he shakes his head. “I can’t, I can’t do that”
“I’m not asking you to move on, that’s something you decide for yourself, I’m asking you to live, if not for yourself than for Liam, because it’s what you would’ve wanted for him”.
Mason stood up brushing himself off, he held a hand out, “cmon, buck up, this is Li’s first anniversary since his funeral, let’s make it a good one”.
Theo sees Mason’s hand, and for a moment it’s not Mason in front of him in the cold, it’s Liam smiling at him after a long day at work.
He takes the hand and gets pulled up. He and Mason dig up a small patch of grass on top of Liam’s grave and bury the velvet box Theo has had for just over a year.
Theo wears the matching ring on his finger and when anyone asks he says the love of his life is waiting for him on the other side.
~
“Oh he’s definitely a keeper” a blonde bombshell states over Liam’s shoulder. “Erica, stop embarrassing him” a brunette says from next to another taller and broader man who’s arm is around Erica’s shoulders.
“I think the ring looks nice, Dunbar” Boyd says as Liam looks down at his left hand. “Thanks, I think I’ll keep it for a while” he murmured happily.
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she-daemon · 11 months
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Office worker AU - Nero x Fem Reader - Chapter 2
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Previous chapter here
Summary:
Nero answers the phone, they go on a date, yeah End of this chapter gets spicy
Notes:
Okay okay so I haven't written anything in months (sorry for not posting in like 3 months) but I'm finally back!!! Since its been a while my writing should hopefully be a little better, or at least the smut should be (I have done a lot of uhh *research* lately)
Slight nsfw at the end!! You have been warned!!
After briefly listening to the dial tone, you heard someone pick up.
"Office of Nero Sparda, state your business please..." Its a woman's voice. You're disappointed it wasn't Nero, but its normal for someone like him to have a secretary.
"Hello, this is Y/N of _____ corporation, I was hoping to schedule a progress report meeting with Mr. Sparda ... possibly tomorrow?" Good, you said everything correctly.
"Just a moment please..." You heard her receiver brush against something, and you assumed she was checking Nero's schedule. Hmm. Nero's secretary. Jealous thoughts started to intrude into your mind. You waved them away, but the thought of being his secretary instead of her persisted. Imagine being so close to him ... being in his company all day ... all the things the two of you could get away with. Your thoughts were interrupted by her:
"Sorry, but it seems Mr. Sparda will be busy all day tomorrow. In fact, he doesn't have any available time slots for the rest of the - " Something interrupted her, and she got off the phone again. Was he busy for the rest of the month? Week? You listened closely. Suddenly, you heard a man's voice in the background:
"Who is it?" You heard her say your name, and then shuffling on the other end. Someone spoke.
"Hello? Is this Y/N?" It was Nero. Just hearing his voice talking to you made your heart leap.
"Yes, its me. Your secretary said you'd be busy, so I was wondering when we could arrange a meeting to discuss the progress report?" You knew it was far too early for Nero's team to have made any real progress on the project. Hopefully, he'd get the message.
"Well, I am busy the entire day tomorrow. But maybe I could take overtime and meet you for dinner. How's that sound?"
"Wonderful. I'll see you at Dorsia's." you gleefully replied, "Do you think you could manage 6?"
"Hmm, maybe 7?"
"Oh, okay, sure. I'm free the whole evening to be honest. The whole weekend, even." You cringed a little from how desperate you sounded, but you swore you could hear Nero's lips curl into a smile at those words.
"Guess I'll have to take a look at my plans and maybe take you up on that offer." Thank god he took that with a stride. And after a brief silence, he said:
"See ya then." And hung up. You processed that call, thinking over your brief interaction with him. If you weren't feeling all these stupid, fluffy emotions, you would've been worried about flirting over the work phone, and eavesdroppers. But Nero had you dumbly smitten with him and you were just paranoid anyway - right?.
It was still around midday, so you couldn't get off work just yet. Your mind drifted back to the secretary fantasy. You knew it was impossible to be his secretary because you were busy working for your father. And that was just temporary, until you took over the company anyway. And Nero's company was just an affiliate, you couldn't be transferred even if you wanted to. But still, damn if that wasn't a hot fantasy.
*~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ The next day around 7 *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~
Wearing your nicest (and possibly most alluring) clothes, you entered the familiar high end restaurant. You've been here before for past meetings, but this day was special. 
Looking around, you're almost afraid you won't find Nero. But there he is, dressed in a nicer suit than the one he wears for work, a dark shade of navy, almost black, and a matching light greyish-blue tie. You meet eyes with him and he waves to you, signaling you to join him at a booth.
"Hey, glad to see you here, I just got off work." Nero looks so happy to see you, it fills your heart with joy. You make sure to greet him and let him know you feel the same. You talk about the "progress" of the project for about a solid five minutes until the waiter showed up to take your orders. For yourself, you decided to play it safe and order a Caesar salad with a medium rare steak. Simple, yes, but hopefully still dignified. You didn't have to worry about that for long, because Nero ordered pasta - plain spaghetti and meatballs - and you nearly choked on your water. As if it would save face, the both of you decided to share a bottle of wine, courtesy of Nero (but you were definitely going to pursue Nero for his food choices later).
The two of you were illuminated by the warm yellow lighting of the restaurant. You took a sip of your wine and leaned in toward Nero.
"So, Nero, I saw  you have the same last name as the CEO of your company - Vergil Sparda. Are the two of you related? His nephew maybe?" Nero gave you a questioning look, before responding.
"Ah, you caught me. Vergil's my dad." He surveyed your face for a reaction, and he saw your eyes widen as you connected the dots. The two of you were in the same position, your lives were essentially the same. Trying to build your own career in the shadow of your parents, shunned for who your family was. "Oh, that makes sense. Guess we're in the same spot then. Small world." You could barely contain your excitement, you had so much to talk to him about.
"Haha, as much as I hate it, nepotism really does rule the world." You wanted to know more about Nero - so you asked:
"So how has that affected you or your life? Or... what do you think of it?"
And the two of you fell into a deep conversation about your lives, your pasts, and relating to each other. You really did have a lot in common with Nero. His father had also brought him up to take over the company some day, he also hated his business classes for being too easy (he had graduated a year earlier), and most importantly, the both of you had felt the same loneliness and isolation as a result of being next in line. But now it was clear you had each other, whatever that might imply.
Finally, the waiter returned with the long awaited food. As promised, he handed you a beautifully plated salad beside a tender steak, with various garnishes and sides, and for Nero, a heap of saucy spaghetti and meatballs. They actually made it for him! It still shook you. As a businessman of his level, you never would have expected Nero to order simple pasta and meatballs. Sure, this is an Italian restaurant so it's a valid choice, but still. Not only that, but as he was eating, Nero got sauce all over his mouth, his chin, even a little on his cheeks. Honestly, it was the most adorable things you've ever seen. Besides puppies. But he was kind of a puppy too. Hearing you giggle, Nero stops just as he was scooping another round of pasta and looks up at you.
"What?" he asked cluelessly. 
You didn't say anything, just looked at him, smirking, amused. But he really had no idea.
"C'mon, seriously." Now he was grinning too. It was infectious.
"... you have pasta sauce all over your face." And for a moment he froze, genuinely surprised.  Laughing, you reached for a napkin and wiped the corners of his mouth, like a little kid. It was too much for your heart.  Doing this you froze, with your eyes locked on Nero's, noticing how much you had leaned toward him, how close you were. Nero's cheeks burned a little red, and he averted your gaze. You quickly moved your hand away and blurted out: "Oh! S-sorry about that, I don't know why I did that. It just seemed natural."
"No, no its fine, that one's on me." But there was still an uncomfortable, bashful, silence. "Is there a story behind the spaghetti and meatballs?" You interjected, cutting the silence short. It was almost like you flipped a switch, because Nero's face lit up enthusiastically and he began to explain how it was his favorite food, how he'd been eating it since childhood, how Kyrie used to cook it for him... Wait, Kyrie? *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ A few hours later *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~
The two of you decided to head to a bar, after the restaurant nearly kicked you out for sitting there so long.
Nero was a bit of a lightweight, you had noticed, and you could see he definitely had his share of alcohol for the night. So did you.  "I think we've both had enough for tonight. " "Mmmyeah." Nero slurred. Unlike you, it seemed like he had a nice buzz going. Lucky him, because you only felt woozy. The two of you hailed a taxi, and it quickly became clear that you were going to end up escorting Nero to his home. The two of you entered the taxi cab, and as Nero barely managed to tell his address to the driver, you worried that this whole thing was too forward, but it was too late to turn back. That, and Nero was glued to you.
"Aww, you were gone for so long~" Nero crooned into your neck, half tipsy, half asleep. "I missed you~..." The warm breath tickled your neck, and you had to suppress a little squeak from escaping your lips when you felt his mouth just barely graze your skin. That was new, and it was nice.
You kept looking at his chest, his tie coming more and more undone with every drunken sway of his, seemingly shifting with the movements of the car. It was so ... distracting. The looseness of his suit exposed his chest, and when you tried to straighten his collar, Nero pulled you in for a hug. Nero gets clingy under the influence - noted. And it was getting to you. You could feel Nero's warm, shapely body, and the sleek fabric that outfitted and outlined it in the most delicious way. Not to mention you hadn't been hugged in years. Damn if it didn't feel good - almost too good, a blush spread to your face and you couldn't think of anything to say. Not that you needed to, since Nero occupied himself with saying strings of gibberish that faintly sounded like praise. You could only pick up words like "nice" and "warm" in his purring, until you felt Nero's weight shift onto you. He had fallen asleep. He left you there, frying your brain for the rest of the ride until the cab pulled up to a large apartment complex. You woke Nero up, much to his dissatisfaction, and paid the driver. You led Nero out of the car and into the complex, sternly holding him by the arm to support him. After a few steps though, he was flush against you, and it was almost like he was enjoying this - not that you secretly were too. Maybe his whole "tipsy" thing was just an act.
Walking him to the elevator, it seemed like Nero had sobered up a little from the fresh air, recognizing his surroundings and selecting his floor once the two of you were inside the elevator. 
 "You doing all right there Nero?"  "Hmmm...?" He blinked sleepily, not as buzzed as before - just tired.
He unlocked the door with his key, given a few clumsy tries as he worked his way through the wooziness. You stifled a giggle, and Nero murmured as he opened the door:  "What's so funnyyyy...?"  "You're such a lightweight, Nero." Hearing this, Nero scrunched up his face and swiftly turned away his head, pouting.   "No I'm not."  "Admit it, you were almost wasted after two glasses." You smirked, satisfied from drawing such a reaction from him. You wanted to poke at him a little more, but push far enough and you might find boundaries.   "I. Am not. A lightweight." He huffed, eyebrows furrowed, and it seemed like he was a little hurt. Did you hit a nerve? Okay, despite how cute he was, now you felt bad. You walked up to him, and cupped his pouty face with your hands.  "Okay, okay. You're not a lightweight Nero." You tilted his face so his eyes would meet yours, and you squished his cheeks a little.  "Better?" Just as you were about to pull away, Nero grabbed you by your shoulders, and leaned forward to kiss you on the lips. Shocked at first, you received the kiss, pulling on his lower lip and biting gently. You wondered if you should be doing this at all, but Nero let out a sigh and continued to kiss you - and it felt so good, so right. Nero pulled you close, and you felt your body grow heated, bothered from his hand gripping tightly at your waist. Eventually though, you both pulled away for air. Nero smugly showed you a shit eating grin, his lips a slight pink - thoroughly kissed.   "Now that's better."   "Oh yeah?" You tilted your head. "Are you gonna forgive me for being a bully?" You leaned your face toward him, gazing into his eyes. With a dark look in your eyes, you continued: "And there's really nothing else I have do to make you feel better?" You could see calculations running in Nero's head, and he suddenly picked you up in a princess carry. He took you into the bedroom and the next thing you knew he had put you down on a soft bed. You were sad you weren't in his arms anymore, but only for a moment because he leaned down to kiss you again, one hand sifting through your hair, the other squeezing your hip.  "I think you already know-" He said as he brought his knee to the apex of your thighs, suggestively brushing it, " -what you have to do to make me forgive you." His eyes looked back up toward your face for a reaction, and you noticed his erection pressing against your inner thigh.
✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
There it is! I'll try to get the next chapter done as soon as I can, and the promised smut will be in it ➳➳➳➳ I only managed to proofread once or twice at 1 am so sorry about grammar and inconsistent spacing, yeah
View this chapter on ao3
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bestie,
sorry for disappearing, again! I might have been ignoring my duties for this entire time, comprehended being active here. I also honestly didn't have much to say and I am always worried of being annoyed!
first of all: I don't know why but I wanted to say that I low key think that aemond might wear 'hero' by Burberry as a more everyday fragrance (like he has his own for special occasions) and this isn't just because I utterly enjoy it and it has a subtle tone.
(me now smelling the male perfumes to find aemond's own? more unhingedly likely than you might think).
secondly: oh gods, that whole ask about religious guilt in aemond. as a fellow person who feels it, my own take is that it'd impact - even more in canon - his own view on sexual life. like he has already had a whole traumatizing experience, but also imagine being taught to perceive the act as somehow just reproductive per se. like he can see that his parents don't have any desire and aegon's own appetites are just disgusting to him. I don't know... I just think that he'd struggle with intimacy and with truly feeling like he even deserves pleasure (and not only in a strictly sexual setting).
finally: oh gods THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING WITH YOU ON DAILY TASKS... I... alright, again: I hate clingy couples, but also as your average anxious girlie, to have him by my side, I'd be... blushing and twirling my hair. also this bestie - even more as a museum curator - would be always busy so when you get some time together. he is attached to your own ass and not in an oppressive way, he is just there if you need him.
need somebody to hold your purse while you tie your shoes? he is there.
need to tell the waiter that they got your order wrong and you can't have it because you have a food allergy? he is already calling the waiter over and assuring you that you told him (is this very specific and self-indulgent? yeah).
need a kiss of encouragement and some reassuring about your body while shopping? he is your man.
ok, feeling fuzzy inside and I think that you look very Victorian De Angelis-coded with your new look by the way! I am also low key thinking of getting curtain bangs, as well, when I go back to dying them (time to go back to being a full on ginger) but I shall hear what the hairdresser says as the time I asked he warded me off as my bangs were too short, ugh. we shall see. but you are definitely rocking them!
have a lovely day!
-🌗
HELLO BESTIE! omg don't apologize, please! I totally understand. But rest assured you're never annoying, and I'm always super happy to receive messages from you!
BEFORE I FORGET, I've been listening to Manuel Agnelli and I LOVE HIM! I still have to go through the rest of your recs (listening to new music is such a slow process for me). But I really loved his music! He kinda gave me some Danny Elfman in his Big Mess album vibes so that was an instant love for me.
Now onto Aemond, aaaaah I haven't gotten a chance to smell 'Hero' but I just know it must be amazing simply because Adam Driver did the campaign lmao!! But re: religious guilt. OH FOR SURE. Obviously, we all love to write him as a sex god in fanfic but taking his circumstance into consideration, he really hasn't got any healthy examples of sexuality around him. If anything, if he wanted to seek out some answers for himself in books and such, I imagine he'd feel guilty for even being interested in it. I remember being super young when I first started thinking about sex and being curious about porn and always felt like, watched. I seriously felt like all my ancestors were suddenly watching over me in shame LMAO, which was so awkward! and something very difficult to shake off. So it's exactly what I think must be going through Aemond's mind in that scenario.
And on lighter subjects...ahhhh yes yes yes!!! telling the waiter of your allergies and him assuring you when going shopping aaaaaaaaaaah my heart! for sure, we discussed clingy couples before but I think this is totally different! this is, wanting to be with the person, not feeling like you NEED to be with them. That thought about him waiting for you while you do your errands is totally based on me going to get a haircut and imagining Aemond waiting for me in the salon, in his own little corner with a book, and being all happy and hyping me up after seeing the new 'do aljflksjglkjg. Self-indulgence to the max honestly. But I need me a freak like that. The whole domestic of it all? I'm WEAK.
And on that note, AHHHH thank you so much!!! that is exactly what I was hoping to go for so I'm over the moon with your compliment! ngl I'm still getting used to the bangs because I haven't had them since I was a kid lmao! but the change was such a mood lifter and I'd definitely encourage you if you're also hoping to go for a change in hairstyle! Thank you sooo, so much!! <33333333
Hope you have a lovely start to your week, my dear! x
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carmenlire · 1 year
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no because it's canon that jaeyoung is possessive and gets jealous easily but if it was his own friend causing it... someone he knows not respecting sangwoo and their relationship...
oh my god I am a sucker for outside pov..... and what if we threw in a little hurt/comfort? sangwoo overhears the friend telling jaeyoung "hey hyung idk if like.. sangwoo is good for you.. have u noticed? ur always the one reaching out first.." or something like that. sangwoo suddenly self conscious. he leaves and doesn't hear jaeyoung scoff and tell friend in no uncertain terms that sangwoo is It for him and don't speak on what u don't know.....
but another idea keeping with strict outside pov where friend think that when they first get together but as time goes on, they see Sangwoo's just as deep as jaeyoung and it's in the little ways-- sangwoo leaning into jaeyoung when he reaches out, he sees them leaving a restaurant late at night and it's sangwoo who gently pushes jaeyoung against a dark storefront to kiss him, friend realizes it's in the way sangwoo never protests, not seriously, when jaeyoung is being affectionate or obnoxious.... Jaeyoung's love is loud and Sangwoo's is quiet but it doesn't mean it's not just as overwhelming.
(and then what if we got into they love how they love but the way they receive love is what they need too-- jaeyoung finds the soft, steady well of Sangwoo's caring soothes something in him and he lives for teasing out the quiet sparks of his adoration. sangwoo for his part would never admit it but it makes something in him warm and fizzy whenever jaeyoung is loud about them in public. he really likes it when jaeyoung rests an arm over his shoulders as they're walking and the way his ears warm whenever jaeyoung throws an outrageous compliment to him with a wink betrays that he's not as scandalized or exasperated as he acts jaeyoung knows to watch for the red ears and blushing cheeks and has to stop himself from cooing every time it happens).
so an outside pov gets how his friends might react to jaeyoung being with "cold emotionless" sangwoo but you specifically mentioned how jaeyoung would act if someone tried to get between him and sangwoo in a serious capacity (again I think the jihye plot was just cute and fun obviously there was never a serious threat there). and something I'm very firm about in Jaeyoung's characterization is he is strong and smart and capable and it's only with close friends that he turns a little immature and silly and dramatic and it's only with sangwoo that we Really get to see his golden retriever energy take over. so to someone outside of his relationship trying to rock the boat? bro jaeyoung would eviscerate them on the spot.
we know he's way smarter and more cunning/strategic than he lets on and in ur scenario I see him noticing something is up with the way one of his friends treats sangwoo immediately. he might say something that night and then friend says the thing about jaeyoung cares more and jaeyoung puts him in his place before friend even finishes his sentence.
and then cue sangwoo overhearing and getting in his head and it's a few days of him acting weirdly and jaeyoung is internally like hmm what's up with my baby he's acting weird I'm picturing him perking up like a puppy the first time sangwoo is physically demonstrative in public first and he's immediately suspicious and then sangwoo of course talks to jaeyoung because it's so stressful showing his love in ways he's not used to or completely comfortable with tbh and it leads to a discussion on expectations and that jaeyoung loves sangwoo and loves them just as they are and then we see friend realize they were so wrong about sangwoo and jaeyoung is just fine and they're so happy together that it really is disgusting.
ummmm so this got long and it's honestly just me rambling my thought process so I didn't put this as an answer to the message because, again, I'm saving that for the finished polished thoughts but yeah.... I'm extremely into this little scenario and I hope you enjoy my descent into madness anon. I know I am.
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Sometimes it feels like everything is just falling apart around me.
Back in June 2022 I was fired from my corporate job, the reason they gave me was such utter bullshit and I know that wasn't the real reason someone in my department wanted me gone. The truth of the matter is, a person I thought of as a friend when I was first hired decided that they didn't like me after meeting my partner the September before.
I'll call this coworker Veronica, and I'll call my partner Roy.
Veronica and I had been pretty good friends up to that point, things started to go sour afterwards but I thought it was just me being oversensitive, seeing things that weren't really there, and reading too deeply into the situation. It turns out I hadn't been, but, who in their right mind would have thought that just four months after becoming friends and coming out as non-binary to them would have turned things so upside-down so fast?
We picked up two new coworkers in the department, and our little lab of two digital forensics examiners, an on-site forensics infrastructure person, and our principal examiner turned from four to six people, plus our department head who was in a completely different state all together.
In December, our principal examiner left because she couldn't take the incompetence from the analysts we were supporting anymore on top of the constant breathing-down-the-neck from our department head.
This was when things started to really go sour between myself and Veronica. Veronica had a little more experience under her belt, and seniority in the company than I did. But there was now an open position as the principal examiner for the department. I didn't want the position but I don't think Veronica could see that.
Slowly, I went from having friends there - especially one of the new examiners in our department. She was there for me when my cat passed away just before my birthday and helped me find a new one.
We'll call this one Jennifer, and the other new-hire can be Catherine for the sake of storytelling and protecting the identities of everyone.
I went from being invited out to grab coffee to being ignored and just told as they were leaving. They used to invite me out to lunch, and then suddenly the 30 minute lunches they were taking turned into an hour, and then turned into two hours when I had my work from home day each week. I was getting stuck with all of the evidence processing tickets, and the physical evidence. And then I was being strong armed into working while I was sick because no one would answer my messages or take things seriously, and this is in 2021/2022 while we are still in a pandemic just outside DC.
I was the only non-binary person working in the office, and at that point I was using they/she pronouns. Every piece of documentation we had to write, everyone ignored the they and opted to only use she for me in the documentation. Veronica was the one double checking everyone's process documents before we would submit them and our completed CoC's.
By the time April rolled around, I had gotten pretty fed up with no one actually using my non-binary pronouns and everyone calling me a woman, a lady, an girl, etc. when I had made it rather clear that I am not that. I asked Jennifer in person the one day, when Veronica was out on vacation, if she could change the she/her's in her documentation when she refers to me over to theys and thems. She was happy to oblige and said she was sorry for having misgendered me in the past, and that she was told by Veronica to just use She/Her for me.
It got back to Veronica pretty fast that after working there for a year I was finally not going to keep letting myself be misgendered by everyone, and she went to our boss who at this point was now just our department head/director. Our director told me that Veronica tried to get him to tell me that they/them pronouns were too confusing to use and to make me switch back to letting them all use she/her. Our director put his foot down and said no.
The end of May rolled around, and things were just as shitty as ever. Everyone was further turning against me at this point because it was somehow my fault that Veronica got scolded (but no formal complaints or anything were launched and no disciplinary action taken). No one would talk to me after that and things just continued to get worse.
Then in June we found out that someone in our office, one of the analysts, tested positive for covid and Veronica jumped on the opportunity to get me fired.
I had been being stalked by an abusive ex shortly after moving to the area just outside of DC. I was worried that he would find me somewhere and try to attack me again like he had in college and I wasn't about to let that happen. I kept a weapon in my car for the first few weeks of my working there and Veronica must have seen it or something. I had told her about my being stalked in the past, and about having been in abusive relationships in the past - I asked her to keep an eye out for my ex just in case his threats of knowing where I was working and living turned out to be true.
Next thing I knew, while we were all working remote because of the covid case, she reported me to HR and got me fired. I couldn't deny that I had the weapon in my car, but I had told them that the thing was never brought into the building and it was locked up in my car.
I got the whole line about how our company had a zero-tolerance policy about weapons in the workplace, and that any parking lot we are in (even across the street at the metro station, which I wasn't reimbursed for parking in while I waited for a badge to the parking garage) fell under what they claimed to be the work place, and under no circumstances was it permissible to have a weapon.
It's now the end of March, I've still not found a job yet and I am just exhausted. I worked hard to graduate with my digital forensics degree. I kept my nose clean, never did drugs, and the only crimes I've committed were parking in the wrong parking lot twice in college, and speeding exactly once in my 24 years on this earth. No matter what I do, it doesn't seem to be good enough for any of these companies, even continuing to study and learn more, picking up different free certificates so that I can still manage to swing my rent on unemployment checks that don't even cover it. And all the while having to lie to my family so I don't look like a fucking failure to them, like they called it, and telling them that I still work there.
I just want to be able to survive and have some peace for once. I just want to be able to exist completely and wholly as myself without some jackass deciding that they're superior and more worthy of existing in a place and taking up actual space somewhere than me because they're cis and straight.
I am so tired. And I don't think that there has really been more than a month where I haven't, at some point or another, considered hurting myself or ending it all.
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afewproblems · 1 year
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1 and 3 for Warm my Cold and Tired Heart. Also, I remember reading in the comment section about a possibility of an Eddie pov for some scenes and I'd love to read that if you ever did that.
Thank you so much for the questions! :) I would be happy to answer them!
What inspired you to write the fic this way?
Hmm, I guess I could answer this one in a number of ways! I chose to initially write this story after the boat house scene. My original idea was just to explore the inner thoughts of Steve while this confrontation happened. How did he feel with the bottle pressed against his neck, how would this have affected him afterwards. And then the story began to snowball from there, this original thought became, 'huh, well what would happen if this has happened before? What if they already met? How would this affect the trajectory of the story?'
And boom! More snowballing from there! I also, honestly, wanted to pack as much Whump into this thing as possible for Steve because he is my comfort character and there is nothing more comforting than making your fav go through hell and back before you give them the gift of comfort. You know, as a treat.
3. What's your favourite line of narration?
Oooooo now that one is tough!
I have a few that I quite like, but I was honestly quite proud of the nightmare sequence in the second chapter:
"Billy hisses, his face suddenly inches from Steve's own, up close the fetid stench of decay invades Steve's nose, small movements underneath Billy's skin catches Steve's eye. The bulging puffy skin twitches and bubbles as something slithers underneath. The once blue green eyes have turned grey and flat like tarnished coins."
I like the description and the vague horror of the dead Billy being used like a puppet in Steve's nightmare version of their Season 2 confrontation. He then turns into a demogorgon at the end of the nightmare and goes for the kids.
In my head, I was trying to illustrate Steve having stress dreams induced by this need to take care of others and always be needed or useful in some way. I know a lot of people write about the Russian torture, and I did think about including that, but honestly there is something so upsetting about that fight with Billy.
That one of the worst beatings of his life happened because of another human being in their lives - and Billy was not tied to the Upside Down in any way, not like the Russians were. Billy was just this racist asshole that nearly beat Steve to death and that is pretty awful in my book. I dunno, thats just always stuck with me, that part of the Stranger Things message is that the people in the show can be just as monstrous sometimes as the creatures that come out of the Upside Down, so this was my attempt to bring them together I guess!
And for the Eddie POV for Warm My Cold and Tired Heart, I am still thinking about writing these, I think it would be very cool to see what Eddie thought about the events of season 4, maybe how he felt when Steve caught him at the party with James? Maybe during his first day at home when Wayne makes a comment about Steve's house to Eddie. And absolutely that conversation in the Byers kitchen, I just want Eddie to interact with Jonathan, I don't know why.
I agree with the commenters that pointed out how funny/odd it was that Jon gave Eddie something like a shovel talk. I also thought that would be funny but very sweet, so in it went! (a brief 101 on another part of my writing process!)
I hope you enjoy my answers! These questions were great and really got me thinking!! :)
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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years
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Where My Feet Take Me
Pairing: Tom Holland x reader
Synopsis: the boys chase a drunk Tom down the street and he tries to make things right with you
Masterlist
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“Hello?” Tom called out as he walked into the house. “I’m home.”
“Tom?” You froze in your tracks as a chill went down your spine. He came into your shared bedroom with an unsuspecting smile on his face, making your hands clench around the box in your hands.
“Hi darling.” He greeted you as he set his suitcase on the ground.
“What are you doing here?” You asked softly.
“I live here.” He teased before his eyes fell on the box in your hands. His face crumpled as he read “picture frames” written on the side in your handwriting.
“What are you doing?” He asked weakly, eyes never leaving the box.
“You said you were coming home tomorrow.” You reminded him.
“My flight was changed.” He told you. “What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry.” You whispered. “You weren’t supposed to be home.”
“What are you doing?” He repeated, firmly this time. You looked down at the box, unable to look him in the eyes as he slowly figured out what was happening.
“I’m leaving.” You mumbled without lifting your head. Tom slowly looked around the room, finally seeing how empty it was without your belongings. He looked at you in confusion and you nearly broke down.
“You.” You continued. “I’m leaving you.”
“What?” His asked, voice cracking. “Why?”
“You’re never here.” You told him with a shaking voice. “I’m on my own more than I’m with you. And when you’re gone, you don’t call. You don’t call or text or really give me any sort of indication that you remember me. I can’t do this anymore, Tom. I’m done.”
“But...what?” He rubbed his face as he tried to process what you were saying.
“I’m not happy, Tom.” You said weakly. “You’re a perfect boyfriend when you’re home but the second you leave for work, it’s like I don’t exist.”
“That’s not true.” He protested.
“Its not?” You laughed sadly. “We hardly ever speak. Look at your phone. When was the last time you texted me?”
Tom took out his phone, sure that you were wrong. He looked at his messages and sure enough, you were right.
“Wednesday.” He answered sheepishly.
“Yeah.” You nodded. “It’s Monday.”
“You’re leaving me because I haven’t texted you in a few days?” He asked.
“It’s not just that.” You whined and walked past him. He ran after you and stood in front of you.
“Then what is it?” He asked as he blocked your path.
“I shouldn’t have to explain it to you. You should know.” You said and tried to move past him.
“But I don’t. Please, baby. I don’t understand.”
You stopped trying to get past him and looked into his glassy eyes. It took everything in you not to unpack the box and stay with him. As much as you wanted to stay, you knew you had to leave.
“Thomas.” You sighed. “I wake up every morning and I have no idea if you love me or not. I can’t keep waiting for you to let me be a part of your life. I have to go.”
You walked past him and went out the front door with him following behind you.
“Please.” He begged. “Don’t leave. I can change.”
“I’ve heard that before.” You said as you walked faster to your car. You tried to open your car door but he put his hand on it to keep it closed.
“It will be different this time.” He assured you. “I promise.”
You looked at all your belongings in the backseat of your car for a minute before looking back at him. He was silently begging you to stay as tears slipped from his eyes.
“I just can’t believe you.” You shook your head. “I’m sorry.”
You walked around the car and got in the front seat but he caught the door before you could shut it.
“But, darling.” He cried. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” You told him. His eyes lit up as he hoped that meant you were changing your mind.
“It’s just not enough.” You continued. His hand slipped off the door in shock, and you were able to shut it. He watched you pull away as tears fell from his eyes, and that’s when he knew he had lost.
2 months later
The boys were sitting around in Harrison’s living room, all mindlessly scrolling through their phones. Tom noticed Harrison’s smile suddenly, then look at Harry and Sam. They shook their heads at him and Harrison quickly put his phone down.
“What?” Tom asked when he noticed the strange interaction. The boys exchanged a look, and silently decided not to lie to him.
“Y/n just congratulated me The Irregulars.” Harrison explained. Tom stiffened when he heard your name and looked to the other boys.
“Yeah.” Harry nodded slowly. “She texted me too. She liked my cameo in Cherry.”
“I wonder how she’s been.” Sam said, earning a glare from Harrison and Harry. Tom let out a defeated sigh and rubbed his face, also wondering how you had been. He couldn’t find the words to say, so he just hung his head in shame.
“Sorry, mate.” Harrison apologized. “I didn’t mean to bring it up.”
“It’s fine.” Tom shrugged as he got up. He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and sipped it while looking out the window.
“I talked to my friend from work. Remember I told you about Holly?” Sam changed the subject. “She said she’d go out with you tonight if you want.”
“Sure.” Tom replied, hardly listening.
“Give her a chance mate.” Sam suggested. “You might like her.”
“Yeah.” Harry agreed. “Especially since Y/n-“
Harry was cut off with a harsh series of hushes from the other boys. Tom returned his attention to them, knowing they were trying to keep something from him.
“What about Y/n?” He asked.
“Nothing.” Harrison said as he glared at Sam.
“Harry.” Tom singled him out. Harry looked at him apologetically and sighed.
“I heard shes seeing someone.” He admitted. Tom stumbled backwards a little as the wind was knocked out of him. He sat back down in the living room and stared at the wall.
“Dude.” Sam hit his arm.
“He asked.” Harry defended himself. “And he was gonna find out eventually.”
“Tom, you okay?” Harrison asked.
“I’m fine.” Tom replied as he wiped his eyes. “When does that Hazel want to meet?”
“It’s Holly.” Sam corrected. “And she said anytime.”
“All right.” Tom downed the rest of his beer and stood up. “I’m ready. Text me the address.”
“Don’t you want to get dressed?” Harrison asked kindly, noticing Tom’s week old pajamas.
“I am dressed.” Tom gestured to himself.
“When was the last time you showered?” Harry wondered.
“Or shaved?” Sam added.
“Wednesday.” Tom shrugged.
“Mate.” Harrison sighed. “It’s Monday.”
“Well if she doesn’t like me for me, she’s more the one.” Tom gave them a tipsy smile and opened the front door.
“Okay.” Sam said wearily. “Have fun.”
Less than two hours later, Tom stumbled back through the front door and flopped onto the couch.
“Hey, man.” Sam greeted when he heard Tom come in. “How’d it go?”
“Horrible.” Tom mumbled. “She ordered Y/n’s favorite drink and it was downhill from there.”
“Tom.” Sam sighed and rubbed his brothers back.
“Sam.” Tom whined. “I don’t need you to play matchmaker for me. I don’t want anyone else. I want Y/n. I miss her.”
“I’m sorry, mate.” He said. “But it’s over with Y/n. You have to move on.””
“I can’t move on.” Tom teared up again. “I love her.”
“I know you do.” Sam nodded. “But you can love her from a distance.”
“No.” Tom decided as he struggled it stand up. “I have to go to her house. I can talk some sense into her.”
Harry walked into the room right as Sam was trying to reign Tom in.
“What’s he doing?” Harry asked as he helped keep Tom in place.
“He’s drunk.” Sam explained. “And he’s trying to go to Y/n’s house.”
“I have to see her.” Tom slurred and went for the door.
“Woah woah woah.” Harry held him back. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
“She’ll listen to me.” Tom declared. “She’ll listen this time. I know she will.”
“I think you should lie down and get some sleep.” Sam suggested.
“No.” Tom broke free from their grasp. “I’m going to her flat.”
“You can’t drive. You’re drunk.” Harry reminded him.
“I’ll walk.” Tom said as he went out the front door.
“Oh no.” Sam groaned. “Grab him.”
Harry and Sam chased Tom down the hall right as Harrison was coming up the elevator.
“Woah. Where’s he going?” He asked.
“To Y/n’s house.” Harry quickly explained as Tom ran out the front door of the apartment building. “Oh no. He got away!”
The boys quickly ran out of the apartment and searched the street for where Tom had gone.
“Tom!” Harrison called. “Where did you go?”
“Oh God.” Sam spotted him in the distance. “He’s running down the street.”
“Come on.” Harry sighed. “We have to get him.”
The boys chased Tom down the street, but never caught up to them. Even while drunk, he was faster than them. Tom found your apartment building and easily made it past the doorman. The boys finally caught up to him in the hallway by your door.
“Tom.” Harry tugged his arm towards the elevator. “We have to go home.”
“No.” Tom fought back. “I have to see her. I have to get her back.”
“You can’t just show up there.” Harrison protested. “She won’t open the door.”
“I have to talk to her.” Tom slurred. “I have to try.”
“Just let him go.” Sam sighed. “We’re not gonna be able to stop him.”
Harry reluctantly let go of Tom’s arm and let him go to your door.
“Y/n!” Tom called as he knocked on your door. “Open the door please. It’s Thomas.”
“Come on. You saw her door. Let’s go home.” Harry tried to tug him again.
“Y/n!” He ignored Harry and called again.
“She’s not home, mate.” Sam shrugged. “Let’s go.”
“No. I have to see her.” He cried and knocked again. “Y/n. It’s Tommy. Open the door please.”
Suddenly, you opened your front door to see the boys with their arms around Tom, attempting to pull him away.
“Tom?” You asked when your eyes fell on him. Tom’s face softened and for a minute, he was stone cold sober. You couldn’t help but smile a little at him after not seeing him for months.
“We’re sorry.” Harrison apologized. “We couldn’t stop him.”
“Hi darling.” Tom said weakly.
“Hi.” You chuckled a little at the sight in front of you. “Is he drunk?”
“Out of his mind.” Sam confirmed.
“I’m so sorry for everything.” Tom told you. “I’m sorry I drove you to leave.”
“Tommy.” You said softly, finally seeing how broken he was without you. Your heart physically hurt from how badly you missed him.
“Please take me back.” He begged. “I miss you so much. I just want...”
Before he could finish his sentence, he passed out on the floor with a hard thud.
“Oh my God.” You gasped as stated at his limp body. “Is he okay?”
“I’m sorry.” Harrison grabbed his leg and began to tug it. “We’ll take him home.”
“Wait. It’s okay.” You stopped him. “I’ll take care of him.”
“Are you sure?” Sam asked.
“Yeah. I dated him for three years. I know how to take care of him.” You smiled softly.
“All right.” Harrison nodded. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too. I miss you guys.” You said as you pulled them into a group hug.
“We miss you.” Harry said as he patted your back. “Just keep an eye on him, okay? He does this a lot. It’s the first time he’s been able to slip through our fingers.”
“I’ll look after him.” You assured them. “And I’ll see you all soon.”
“See you.” Harrison called as they walked towards your elevator. With the boys gone, you turned your full attention to Tom.
“Come on.” You shook him gently. “It’s time to get up.”
“Y/n?” Tom asked in a daze as he slowly woke up.
“Yeah, it’s me.” You chuckled as you tried to lift him. “God, you’re heavy. Woah, and stinky.”
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled from the ground.
“I know. Stand up.” You commanded, and this time he listened. He slowly stood up and swayed a little on his feet.
“We’re going inside, okay?” You said as you wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Lean on me.”
You helped Tom into your apartment as he hung on your side like dead weight. His head was buried in your hair as you slowly helped him inside.
“You smell good.” He slurred in your ear.
“I wish I could say the same for you.” You teased as you held your breath. You carefully brought him to your couch and began to set him down.
“All right. Easy does it.” You said as you took his arm off of you and let him sit. Tom slumped on your couch like a rag doll and ran his fingers over the material.
“This is your couch?” He asked sleepily.
“Yeah.” You told him. “The previous owner left it.”
Tom winced a little as he remembered that you no longer lived with him and now had a place of your own.
“It’s nice.” He smiled weakly. “We used to have a couch together.”
“Yeah. We used to have a lot together.” You said softly as you sat next to him on the couch. Even though he was drunk, you could see the remorse in Tom’s eyes. He rubbed your couch with his hand and pouted.
“I miss that.” He mumbled. “I miss you.”
“I know, bear.” You modded. “Me too.”
“It’s been so long since you called me that.” He smiled a little when he heard his old nickname from your lips.
“I know.” You chuckled. “We haven’t talked in a while.”
“It’s my fault.” His smile fell. “I fucked everything up.”
“Yeah.” You said quietly. “You did.”
“I’m so sorry.” He told you. “I’ll never stop being sorry.”
“I’d be a lot more willing to forgive you if you took a shower.” You scrunched your nose at him.
“I can do that.” He laughed in his drunken state and tried to stand up. He almost fell over, but you quickly caught him.
“Come on.” You laughed as helped him walk towards the bathroom. “Into the bathroom.”
You lead him into the bathroom and let him lean against you as you walked. You told him it was to help keep him on his feet, but you really just missed his touch.
“Okay.” You pushed the bathroom door open. “We’re here. This is my shower.”
Tom stared at it for a minute as if he’d never seen a shower before.
“How do I use it?” He looked to you for help.
“You just turn the knob.” You laughed and turned the knob towards the hot water.
“Thats too much responsibility for me”. Tom mumbled under his breath.
“Its okay. It’s already warm.” You said as you ran your hand under the water. “Shampoo and conditioner are on the floor. The soap is in the dish.”
As you turned around, you saw Tom tangled up in his shirt with his arms crossed.
“Oh no.” You chuckled. “What happened here?”
“I’m stuck.” His voice was muffled behind the shirt over his head.
“I can see that. Come here.” You gestured for him to come over and he stumbled towards you. You helped him pull his shirt the rest of the way off, reminding you of that way you used to be. He flushed a little under your gaze, feeling more vulnerable than ever.
“You stink.” You scrunched your nose up again when his must hit you.
“I know.” He smiled a little. “Sorry.”
“I took one of your razors by accident. It’s in the cabinet behind the mirror.” You told him. “Use it, please. You look like a pedophile.”
“I’ll use it.” He said, never taking his eyes off you. You stared back at him as you fought the urge to lean in and kiss him right there. You took a step back before you could get ahead of yourself and patted his chest.
“Okay.” You smiled shyly at him. “Have fun in there.”
“I’ll try.” He called after you as you left the bathroom.
When Tom came out of the shower, there was a pile of his clothes sitting on the counter. You had stolen enough of his clothes to throw together an outfit for him. Next to the clothes was a glass of water and some aspirin. He got dresses, popped the pills in his mouth and downed the water before finding his razor in the cabinet.
Once he was done, he padded back into your kitchen and found you sitting at the island.
“There you are.” You smiled at him. “Much better.”
“I feel better.” He told you. “I puked in your toilet though.”
“Well then it’s a good thing I made you some food to fill back up.” You said as you put a plate of eggs and toast in front of him. He looked at you gratefully before digging in.
“Thank you so much.” He said with a mouthful. “I haven eaten in hours.”
“Really? You didn’t eat on your date?” You asked as you put another glass of water by his plate.
“I was hardly even there.” He shook his head. “I drank half the bar though. Wait, how did you know about my date?”
“Harry tells me everything.” You chuckled. “I knew you were on your way here before you even left.”
“Damn.” He laughed as well. You sat in comfortably silence until Tom remembered what drove him to get drunk in the first place. “He told me you were seeing someone.” He said without making eye contact with you.
“It’s not serious.” You shrugged. “It’s only been a few dates.”
Tom felt sick to his stomach as you confirmed his worst nightmare.
“Does he call when he says he will?” He laughed humorlessly.
“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “And he texts me too.”
“Wow.” Tom rolled his eyes and took a bite of his toast. You got up and poured hot water into a mug before putting his favorite tea bag in it.
“And he owns his own business so he works whatever hours he wants.” You continued as you set the mug in front of him. “No weeks away in other cities.”
“He sounds perfect.” Tom mumbled as he took a sip of his tea.
“Yeah.” You nodded as you sat back down. “I wouldn’t really know, though.”
“Why not?” Tom perked up.
“Cause when I’m with him, all I think about is you.” You said sheepishly. Tom froze and looked at you hopefully when he heard you say this. You gave him a small smile and leaned your chin in your hand, raising your eyebrow a little to tell him the ball was in his court.
“I don’t deserve a second chance from you.” He shook his head. “I don’t deserve any of this.”
“Maybe not.” You agreed. “But I’m giving you one anyway.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” He wondered. “You never had to open the door. But you let me in, cleaned me up and made me all this food. I broke your heart, remember? Why would you do all this for me?”
“Because I love you.” You said simply. “And l’ve been miserable without you. I should’ve stayed and worked things out. I can’t tell you how much I regret leaving like that.”
“It’s okay.” He nodded and put his hand on top of yours. “It was my fault. I drove you to leave. But I promise, if you come back, everything will be different. I’ll call you so much, you’ll get sick of me. And I’ll start taking you with me when I work. No more months away. I promise.”
“I really want to believe you.” You sighed and toyed with his fingers. “I already know you’re sorry. You left me about 40 voicemails telling me that you are. You’re lucky I haven’t turned one into a song yet.”
“I guess I am pretty lucky.” He chuckled slightly.
“I still might.” You teased. “Next time you piss me off, I’m making a single out of “y/nnnn. I miss you. Please take me back” and getting on the charts.”
“Please don’t.” He whined as he got out of his seat and walked around the kitchen island to be near you.
“As long as you keep your word and make some changes, I won’t have to.” You smiled softly now that he was close to you.
“Thank you for letting me in tonight.” He spoke softly as he eyes stayed on your lips. “Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome, bear.” Your lips tugged into a full smile. You wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your forehead against his, relishing in his warmth. Tom took the initiative to lean forward and kiss you for the first time in two months. Three actually, since he’d been away working. You pulled him closer to deepen the kiss, feeling like you never wanted to pull away.
“Thank you for taking me back. I love you so much.” He mumbled against your lips. You rested your head on his shoulder and gently swayed with him in the kitchen, missing him more than words can say.
“I love you too, bear.”
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absolutelyfizzing · 3 years
Text
he promised
poe dameron x reader
description - Poe always promised he would come back from missions. One time he doesn't. (Ends in fluff i promise i promise)
warnings - depression?, anxiety?, fem pronouns, talk of injury and death, grief, fluff at the end, use of petnames, reader gets carried for a while and sits on a lap, mentions of eating and eating avoidance (not ed)
word count - 3800
A/N - so this was an oops. I wrote this hella fast but i was in the zone and i am pretty happy with the emotionally devastating product. I promise it has a happy ending i just dont want to give too much away. I feel like for maximum emotional damage you need to be a little in the dark. anyway, forgive me
MASTERLIST
You were stood in the command center with your hands wringing together. No matter how many missions Poe went on, the waiting was always hell. How were you supposed to remain sane when the love of your life was out fighting a battle that he might not come back from. That you might never see him again. He always reassured you that he would always come back to you. That you never had anything to worry about. You tried to believe him, and for the most part you did, but that didn't prevent you from being worried when he was gone.
You listened through the coms, trying to keep track of what was happening during the battle. Leia let you stay in there because she had a soft spot for you, as well as the pilot you were worried about. You were thankful she let you listen in on every mission, it meant that you weren't alone worrying in the room you shared with Poe. The conversation over coms was rushed and loud, they were scared and that made your heart beat faster.
'I have to go through, they're gonna come after us if I don't.' You heard your fiance yell. Worry stuck in the pit of your stomach, he was going to take a risk, you could feel it.
'Poe, it's not worth it. We should get out of here while we still can'. You agreed, wanting him to get out of there as soon as possible. You prayed he would listen and just get out.
'I have to try, I can't go back knowing that they could be following us to base.'
'Poe wait-' You heard someone rush out before comotion ensued again. You could feel your heart in your throat. You could have cried. After a minute of listening to pure chaos, nobody in the control room dared to speak a word. Everyone was waiting for an indication of what to do from the squadron. You found yourself zoning out in your worry. You were only broken out of your trance when you heard your fiance's name.
'Poe is down.' You stopped breathing.
"Down? What do you mean down?" You heard Leia call over comms.
'I'm sorry commander, he got hit. His X-Wing engine got shot and he was heading to crash on the planet right below us, his coms died. There's no way to know if he made it through but I don't know many who could take that crash and live. We have to head out and hope he comes back to base but I wouldn't get my hopes up.'
"Get out of there while you still can. We will have to worry about Poe when we gather our strength." Leia responded and the squadron called their understanding before the process of bringing them home began. You hadn't moved. You weren't sure if you had breathed. Your body was fully numb. You could feel eyes on you as everyone waited for you to respond. To show some emotion of your boyfriend having just gone MIA. You couldn't feel yourself though, your fingertips were numb, and you refused to believe he was dead. He promised. He told you he would come home.
Your brain was split between trying to grieve for the loss of the love of your life and trusting that he would be back. That he had to come back because he promised he would and he never breaks a promise. You felt hands on you and you realized you had fallen to sit in your spot. Leia was above you and was ushering you to your feet. You mindlessly let her push you somewhere and you barely even looked to see where you were going.
Eventually you showed up at your apartment door. You couldn't tell whether it felt like it had been instantaneous or an eternity to get there. Leia unlocked your door and pushed you inside and to the small couch that was stood in the living room-like space. The apartments were all very small, Poe had one a little bigger because he was housing with another person and because of his rank. Still, the extra amenities included a small couch, a smaller kitchen, and a window along the bedroom wall. When Leia sat you on the couch she kneeled in front of you. Her hand went to your cheek and you looked at her for the first time since you'd heard Poe go down. She seemed to almost be in tears but your eyes were dry. You didn't feel anything.
"Y/N, what can I do?" She asked gently. "Do you need anything?" You felt yourself shake your head and open your mouth like you were going to talk but closed it again as you thought.
"He said... He said he was coming back." You stated as if it changed the situation. "He promised." You mumbled.
"I know, Y/N. I am so sorry." She tried to console and your head shook. "We don't know what happened after he went down. You heard the team. He might contact us in the next few days, he is a smart man and he knows how to get a message out. But I don't want it to hurt you more if he never does." She tries to reason and you shook your head.
"No, you don't understand. He promised, " your head was spinning, "he's coming back." You felt tears fall down your face. When had you started crying? "He promised me that he was coming back home." Your voice broke which surprised you. Before you knew it you were crying into Leia's arms and you couldn't stop yourself. That was how you stayed with her for a while after, you weren't sure how long. She shed some tears of her own but eventually you both ran dry. You lost feeling again and you couldn't tell if it was better or worse. You made a decision. You wouldn't grieve over him until you were sure he was not coming back. You wouldn't mourn until you were sure.
The alternative was not, however, to recover. Instead you just stopped doing anything at all. You stopped eating, taking care of yourself, caring. Soon, your friends came in to talk to you. Instead of it being conversation though, they just talked at you. You couldn't bring yourself to respond or really even listen. Or maybe you did but you just couldn't remember. They would periodically come through to help you into a shower in which you just let the water run over you while someone else, you thought maybe Rey but you couldn't even recall, washed your hair. You drank water when they asked and would take a bite of food if they begged but other than that you might as well have been dead to the world. You almost hadn't realized how much of a vital part to your existence Poe was. How little you could bring yourself to do without him. You had thought you were prepared to be separated, you were in the middle of a war after all. Instead it was impossible to do anything without him and you wondered how long you could keep doing it.
This went on for a week. That was how long it took for them to declare him 'killed in action'. They felt that, if he was alive, he would have found a way to contact the base with the help of BB8 and local lifeforms. That was when you allowed yourself to grieve. The numbness turned into pain and it was a million times worse. You would have given anything to go back to numb.
You finally listened to your friends when they talked to you but their consolations did nothing to put you at ease. You still struggled to do anything but you complied with their pleads. You had been convinced, 2 weeks after the KIA announcement, to go to the canteen. To see people and interact. Finn pulled you along with an attempt at a smile on his face. Your face was blank but you tried to soften your eyes. You knew he was trying to help and he was grieving the loss of his best friend as well. When you were pulled into the large cafeteria, all noise ceased. You knew that they were looking at you and you guessed that they pitied you. You had seen yourself in the mirror that morning and you would have pitied you too. You got pulled to a table and Finn went to go get you and himself food.
People periodically came by and said hello or asked how you were as you tried to eat something. You responded with one word answers usually and you hadn't met anyone's eyes. You could feel yourself getting overwhelmed and decided you would head back to your room. You quietly thanked Finn for trying and left to the hallway.
Suddenly, alarms sounded. You were startled into awareness and people began running past you.
'ALL EMERGENCY CREW TO FLIGHT DECK'
You were curious about the alarm but you weren't emergency crew and you knew they didn't need any more bodies there than would already be there. That was until you heard someone as they rushed by as they talked to the medic next to them.
"Yeah I heard it was him but he went missing weeks ago." They sounded confused and continued jogging toward the flight deck. You feet started moving before you could even process it and it was the fastest you'd moved since he had gone missing. Since he had died.
When you got to the flight deck there was already a crowd. You could see over the see a people a beat up X-Wing. You thought you might have heard a droid. You elbowed your way to the front of the crowd, not apologizing when people grumbled their frustrations at you. When you made it to the front you were stood no more than 50 feet from him. He was soot covered and beat up but he was standing as he tried to wiggle out of the grasp of the medics. BB8 beeped and turned, spotting you. He made a loud excited noise and rushed to roll over to you and Poe turned at the sound. When he met your gaze he smiled.
You felt your knees give out and tears start to fall from your eyes. Your arms crossed over your stomach and you started to curl into a ball over your knees. A sob left you and suddenly large warm hands were on your shoulders.
"Y/N? My love, are you okay?" He rushed out, checking over you for injury as the medics still grumbled about needing to see him. His hand came under your chin to move your face so he was making eye contact with you. You let out another sob before grabbing his vest and pulling him into you, he kneeled to the ground as you clung to him and cried into his chest. He moved himself so he was sitting on the ground and he pulled you into his lap. You felt his hands on your back trying to soothe you but you couldn't stop crying. "I'm back. I'm so sorry I was gone but I'm back." He mumbled out as he kissed your head a few times.
"I'm so angry at you." You whispered and he almost laughed, just happy to hear your voice. You finally pulled your head out of his chest and kissed him like your life depended on it, like it was the last time you would ever see him. You pulled away so you were looking into his eyes. "Please don't leave me," you begged almost silently. You weren't even sure if he could hear you. "Please don't leave again."
"I'm not leaving, baby, I promise." He tried to calm you. "I'm right here. I'm okay."
You nodded, trying to convince yourself that he was real and he was here. You kissed him again just to check. You pulled away again, still trying to convince yourself.
"You died." You struggled out and Poe felt tears in his eyes as well. "You were dead, you crashed and you didn't make it and then they said you were gone." You said like that was what happened.
"I didn't die, my love. I'm right here. I'm alive, I'm okay." Poe pleaded and he grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his face so you could feel him. Your hand moved along is jaw which was now covered in stubble and grime. Your head shook like you were disagreeing with him but you were simply in disbelief.
"I love you" You mumbled as your eyes traced the lines of his face and tears fell from your eyes. He let a few tears fall as well before pressing meaningful kisses to every part of your face that he could reach.
You spent the next 2 hours like that. You wouldn't leave his hold and he didn't try to move you. The medics worked around you and everyone greeted him without disturbing you. You stayed, on his lap, curled into his chest. Your breathing had slowed to a normal pace and you were holding onto his vest tightly. Eventually, he had to be debriefed. He petted your hair and cooed at you to catch your attention.
"Y/N, my love," he whispered, "we have to get up now." He felt you nod but you made no move to get up from him. He took a breath before moving you off of his lap as you whined, standing up, and then picking you up so you could wrap yourself around him. You hummed contentedly into his chest and he had a smile on his face as he walked through the base.
"I love you." You whispered again into his chest. You had been doing it periodically every so often in the last 2 hours and every time Poe would repeat it back to you, kiss your head, or say something else. This time he chose to kiss your head.
"Baby, I have to go to the debriefing now and you know you can't come with me." He tried to say gently but he knew this separation might be hard for both of you. "I'm gonna put you down." He warned before encouraging your legs to go to the floor. You listened but didn't release his neck which you were also clung to. His hands fell to your waist and you both stood for a moment with your heads in each others necks and breathing deeply. "I'm gonna hand you off to Rey, okay?" He asked as he flagged down Rey from the hallway.
"Okay." You whispered, still not releasing him.
"Hey, Rey, sorry to bother you but could you keep Y/N company for a few minutes while I talk to Leia and the squadron?"
"Oh of course!" Rey chirped and you took a deep breath before releasing Poe. You let him kiss your cheeks and your nose before he walked the other direction toward the command center. You stared at him until Rey put her hand in yours and clasped it. You turned to look at her and for the first time in weeks, she saw you smile. "I'm so happy for you, Y/N." She assured and you believed her.
"Thank you." You whispered and another tear fell from you, this time of joy and happiness. Not grief.
"What do you say to heading to your room and get cleaned up a bit, yeah?" She tried and you nodded, following where her hand lead with one last glance toward the direction that Poe went.
"-the converter didnt even work until a day ago because the main power source broke down." Poe finished explaining his time on the planet he had crashed on and the rest of the squadron nodded and asked a few more questions. Once he was done, Finn met him outside the command center.
"So-" he paused, "I'm not sure how to say this nicely but most of your stuff went into the redistribution center because you were presumed dead." He rushed out. Poe took a moment to process and nodded.
"Well that's sort of a bummer. Could I borrow some of your stuff?" Poe asked, knowing it would take at least a day for him to get reassigned sets of uniforms.
"Yeah of course, that's why I'm standing here waiting for you. You could get cleaned up in my room too if you want. I know Y/N kept a few of your jackets and shirts but most of it got taken." The boys began to walk toward Finn's living quarters and there was a moment of silence before Poe asked something he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to.
"What happened when I was gone?" His throat felt dry suddenly and his words came out hoarse. "To Y/N I mean. Was she okay?" Poe wasn't sure what answer he wanted. He knew from your recent reaction that you were devastated, as he would have been, but he also knew he had a dangerous job. He might not come back from some other mission in the future and he hoped you would survive without him.
"Do you really want to know?" Finn questioned.
Poe nodded.
"I mean, she was broken." He paused to think. "She didn't talk to anyone for a week. Wouldn't move. Wouldn't cry. Rey had to help her shower and we had to beg her to eat. We almost sent her to the med wing because we thought she was gonna pass out from dehydration, she would barely take a sip of water." Poe's heart was in his throat but he was sure there was more. "Then you were pronounced KIA."
"Oh god."
"Yeah it wasn't pretty. They pulled your stuff out of your guys' room, took your name off the ledger. Leia let her keep some stuff but it was hard to watch. She finally cried, she just wouldn't stop. She was more responsive but she wasn't even moving towards okay. You could tell she was only doing what we were asking because we were begging. That she was doing it out of guilt. Today was actually the first day that I talked her into coming out of her room. She had been to the canteen for about an hour when she felt she needed to leave and then alarms sounded that you were back." Finn finished with a glance to his friend and Poe looked like he might throw up.
"I want her to be okay if I don't make it back one day." Poe tried to explain to his friend.
"She probably would have been functioning in a few months. She wouldn't have recovered but she would function. She's a strong woman, but she also loves you a lot. I mean, how would you react if she was killed on mission?" Poe could tell it was a rhetorical question but he thought about it very carefully. You were an engineer so you weren't called out on mission often, not nearly as often as him. When you were, he was worried sick the whole time. He hadn't really thought about how him being gone affected you before. Now looking back on it he kicked himself for it.
Poe thought about what he would have done if you had died and he thought that your reaction was probably mild. That he would have been unresponsive for weeks or even become violent with anger and grief. He knew that you were the one for him, the most important thing in his life, and without you he didn't know if he would find purpose in his life anymore. He fought in the war as hard as he did for you. To make the galaxy safer for you.
When he went MIA it was because he tried to take out a couple more imperial ships than he could handle. He only did it because he knew they would have followed them back to base if they left. Back to you. So he took the risk and it backfired but he knew he would do it again to try and keep the First Order away from you.
He was knocked out of his train of thought by the arrival at Finn's quarters. Poe tried to get cleaned up and dressed quickly, getting the grime off of himself and shaving his face. He hurried back to your shared quarters and when he entered his room he was greeted with your smiling face as you laughed.
You were sat on the bed, Rey on the other end, as you were talking about something which caught you in a fit of giggles. At the sound of him stepping into the room you looked at him and got up quickly to rush up and hug him tightly.
"Missed you." You mumbled into his chest. As he held you Rey silently nodded at Poe and left the room.
"Was only gone for a minute, honey bun." He reassured and you pulled your face back.
"You know I hate that one."
"Boo bear?" he teased and you shook your head no. "Munchkin?" nope. "honey bear?" no thank you. "Baby love?" You tilted your head a bit.
"I don't loathe that one."
"Sweetheart?"
"I like that one."
"Princess?"
"That's my favorite" You giggled and kissed him quickly for a moment. He could have cried at the sight of you giggling. He had missed that, you, the sounds you made, so goddamn much. More than he would ever put into words.
"I know it is, pretty girl." He smiled before picking you up and you squealed. He walked you over to the bed before dropping you on it and laying next to you. You climbed close to him, practically laying on his chest. His arm was snug around your waist and he left no room for you to move, not that you would have anyway. "How would you feel about going to bed, princess?" He almost whispered, not wanting to disrupt the fragile quiet in the room.
"Yes please. I love you Poe." You whispered back and closed your eyes a bit, focussing on his breathing.
"I love you, Y/N" he responded.
You both got the first decent sleep you'd had in weeks that night.
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bigwhispersbluebird · 3 years
Text
BTS reaction when they are jealous  (Hyung Line)
Author’s Note: I often read a lot of reaction based fics and realize that perhaps my take on it is a little different. So here it goes. Do tell me if you like it or agree or just anything. Also, I am new to this so excuse me for any mistakes. Thanksss
Warnings: None
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Seokjin or Jin
He watched from far as a man in his 20s approached you from behind as you finished the call you had excused yourself to attend. Judging from your reaction, he concluded that you knew the guy. Even though he couldn’t hear a word, your comfortable laugh, the way you slightly hit his shoulder while talking and mimicked his body language, Jin felt a weird irk inside him.
Don’t misunderstand, Kim Seokjin was very confident about himself but there was a part of him that often wondered if he was enough. He might be handsome but there were more handsome people around. He was not the smartest or the most athletic and he came with a load of baggage. So much that he couldn’t cross the room to where you were standing and openly declare that you were his gorgeous and brilliant girlfriend.
His thoughts were intruded by the chime of his phone. 
“You okay?”, your text read and he looked up to spot you a few tables away. The young stranger gone now and your eyes only on him. 
“No. I am Jin”, he replied in his usual manner, trying to hide the truth, cracking the worst joke ever in the process and wincing at himself as soon as he sent it.
He watched as you laughed unabashedly as soon as you saw the screen, your eyes glistening and he realized that this laugh was just for him. 
“You must be really in love with me if you laughed at that”, he sent and watched as you read and suddenly the same look overtook your face that he had seen on himself so many times when he was with you. 
He only took his eyes off you when his phone chimed again.
“Of course. Who else would ever compare?”
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Yoongi or Suga
This was getting annoying for him. Yoongi would call himself a pretty calm person especially after the ten years of life as an artist had made him immune to almost everything happening around him. But this was getting on his nerves. 
You had walked into HYBE tonight and after just being at Genius Lab for a few minutes, you had asked about Do-Yan and went to seek him as soon as Yoongi told you that he must be in PDogg’s studio. Had it been a one time occurrence, Yoongi wouldn’t even have cared enough to think much into it but after this becoming a routine, he was over it. 
Do-Yan was a talented young producer who was contracted for TXT’s new album. You were heavily involved in the A&R activities of BigHit Music and were actually the person who had discovered Do-Yan. In your perspective, he could be a great asset and while he was just here on a temporary basis, you wished to persuade him to sign him as a BigHit producer permanently. PDogg had agreed with you and now you both were on the task of convincing him to stay. 
Unaware of this all, Yoongi decided to do something about the situation. As he typed the messages to the management team, he knew that this was very petty of him but he was beyond the point of caring right now. 
The next time you asked him about Do-Yan, Yoongi did not look up from his computer as he said, “He has been moved”. 
“What?”, you were shocked to say the least. “Moved? What do you mean moved?”
“He will be working with Bang PD directly now so he will be in the other building.”
“So, he signed the contract?”
Now Yoongi was getting agitated, “Why do you care so much?”, he had turned his seat around and was now only focusing on you. His tone was still calm but inside he was screaming.
Oblivious to the storm inside him you said, “Why wouldn’t I? He must have else he would not have said yes to that since...”, Yoongi was not even listening anymore. 
“He did. I talked to the management myself and got him to say yes”, Yoongi said. His voice low and his back now turned to you. “You can move there as well if you want to see him and care about him so much”.
“You...but you didn’t know”, suddenly all the pieces fell into place in your mind and you scolded yourself mentally for not noticing it yourself. 
“Yoongi”, you called out to him softly as you moved closer to his chair. “Jagiya”, you called again as you kneeled beside his chair, taking his hand lightly in yours. 
“I just wanted him to join the company so I was spending most of my time on that. I am sorry that I did not clear it to you. I’ll make up for all the lost time now that you’ve got it done”. 
Yoongi couldn’t even remember what he was angry about as you placed yourself on his lap, pulling him close to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. 
After a while your phone rang and you announced that you had to go for a meeting. As you inched closer to the door, you remembered something and without even turning around you said:
“I can’t believe you got him moved”
You closed the door behind you but not before hearing his low chuckle.
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Hoseok or J-Hope or Hobi 
“I think Yeonjun and I should perform on something more sexy?”, you said with your eyes fixated on his face waiting for a reaction.
His eyebrows furrowed and then as if thinking about it, he immediately turned to you, nodding, “Yes, I think it will work great with both of your stage personalities”.
You were surprised. This was not the answer that you were expecting. You had hoped that he would get jealous like all those TikTok boyfriends. 
But you were not going to be dejected so easily. 
“Why don’t you help with the choreography?”, you suggested, a plan already forming in your head. 
“Y/N, I would have been offended had you not asked me”, he said as he showed off his gorgeous smile.
After a few days when you three started working on the performance, you tried to make Hobi jealous. You would suggest even more suggestive moves but he would just think about them and excitedly agree to them or politely decline saying how it does not fit with the steps. 
He would watch as you danced, concentrated and focused, but unwavering. 
After weeks of this charade, you grew tired and when Yeonjun excused himself to leave for a music show you exasperatedly sighed in front of Hobi who was monitoring the recently shot dance practice video of yours. 
“I don’t think you even care about me”.
“Huh?!”, Hobi was bewildered. “What?!”
“Yeah, you don’t care if I go throw myself in someone else’s arms”, your voice was loud in the empty dance studio. You lowered it again, “you don’t care”.
“Y/N”, Hobi was now closer to you, looking straight into your eyes. “I care. I care a lot. I care that this performance is amazing because this is a great opportunity for you. I care that your steps show exactly how good of a dancer you are. I care and that is why I would never let anybody else do it instead of me”. 
You were surprised. This was not what you were looking for but it was a pleasant difference. 
“And I would care if it was not a performance. I would, I do care if anyone even looks at you in the wrong way but I would never take it out on you. I want you to be able to perform without worrying what I would take it as. I want you to be loved by everyone in the audience”. 
His arms slowly snaked around your waist and under your sweatshirt, “just not the way that I do”.
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Namjoon or RM
Namjoon had watched you the entire night, his eyes refusing to leave your figure as you rushed around the venue making sure everything was perfect. 
It was the last concert of the tour and you as the tour manager were adamant on making it memorable and smooth. Double-checking everything, you finally allowed yourself a moment of peace as you saw your boyfriend rehearse his performance for Trivia:  Love. 
Namjoon locked eyes with you, smiling and rapping his lines as if talking to you. Suddenly, you felt the weight of something on your shoulders and you looked away from the stage realizing that it was your assistant, Alan, who had just covered you with his jacket. You smiled gratefully as he extended a hand holding your coffee. 
“You should rest for a while before we meet back for sound check”, he suggested and you looked at your watch to see that he was right. Tonight was going to be hectic and a power nap was definitely needed.
You had not even realized that the stage was now empty and the leader was standing right by your side. His eyes were not on you, but on the man now sitting beside you, glancing at his jacket on your shoulders. 
Shrugging the jacket off, you asked, “Are you done? Any issues?”. 
Not answering your question, Namjoon kept staring at Alan and you felt bad for the poor guy. You asked again and this time Namjoon’s lips turned into a smile, “None, jagiya”. Jagiya?! 
Now you were the one staring daggers at him but he did not waver. Instead, with the same smile plastered on his lips, he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, pulling the zipper closer together as he made his way to where Alan was sitting. Alan immediately got up, excusing himself and vacating the seat that now your boyfriend occupied, his hand reaching across your shoulder to pull you into him. 
You resisted. 
“ ‘Jagiya’. Really?! Really, Namjoon?”
He just smiled at that, genuinely this time. “Come on, you know I lose all calm when it comes to you”.
“Calm and senses, both”, you murmured as he laughed and pulled you closer and you let him, closing your eyes and resting before work would call you again.
278 notes · View notes
parkerslatte · 3 years
Text
Stood Up
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Warnings: allusions to sex
Word Count: 1.7k
Summary: Y/N is excited about her date and when the night rolls around, she gets stood up. She calls the one person she knows will make her night better.
MASTERLIST
Requests Open
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***
Y/N walked through the doors to the BAU with a radiant smile on her face. Spencer was the first to notice and couldn’t help but smile himself as her smile was infectious. She waved at him as he placed her bag down on her desk. The excitement coursing through her veins was still there from the phone call she had received that morning. 
“What’s got you so happy?” Emily questioned. 
“Well, you know that guy I told you about.” Y/N said, sitting on top of her desk.
“Which one, the blonde or brunette?” Emily questioned, taking a sip from her drink.
“The blonde,” Y/N clarified and Emily nodded, “Well the two of us have been talking non stopover the last couple of days and he asked me on a date tonight.” 
“Where are you going?” Emily asked.
“I don’t know, this fancy restaurant,” Y/N answered, “So I have an excuse to wear that dress I bought when we went shopping.”
“Ooh, the sexy one?” Emily perked up.
Y/N clicked her fingers, “That’s the one.”
“Well, after the date, I need details.” Emily stated, sitting at her own desk.
“Obviously.” Y/N laughed. As she sat down at her own desk, Y/N arranged all of the work she needed to do for the day, not noticing the distraught looking genius sitting not too far away. 
***
Y/N had gotten to the restaurant a little earlier than she and her date had arranged. She was seated at the table he reserved and waited. Getting out her phone, she was greeted by a text from  Emily making her promise to tell her everything that happened. Y/N laughed slightly at the text before placing her phone to the side. 
Five minutes had passed and her date was going to show up any minute. Y/N was excited. She had been talking to him for the last couple of weeks and they really hit it off. It was the first date she had been on in a while as she was constantly pulled away on cases and the dates she had planned lost interest as she kept having to reschedule. 
Another five minutes had passed and a waitress had come up to her table asking if she wanted  a drink. Y/N refused, wanting to wait for her date. He was late but Y/N deduced that to traffic. After all, five minutes wasn’t a lot. She checked her phone and contemplated texting Emily but she knew that if she did, the two would get sucked into conversation and Y/N wouldn’t notice when her date would arrive. 
Ten minutes passed and Y/N was getting nervous. She hadn’t received a text from her date at all. She had to even check the name of the restaurant to make sure she was at the right one. Y/N still had hope that her date would show up but deep down she knew that he was never going to show up. Y/N flagged down the waitress that offered her a drink earlier and ordered one. Her date would have a lot of explaining to do if he turned up. 
Another ten minutes passed and Y/N knew that her date was a no show. He was half an hour late with no text. The people sitting in the restaurant offered he looks of sympathy to which Y/N ignored. Y/N would have preferred it if he texted her that he wanted to cancel the date, at least it would've been less humiliating than sitting in a restaurant on  her own for half an hour. 
Sighing, Y/N pulled out her phone. The night was still young as she was excited about tonight and she wasn’t going to let someone ruin it. Pressing down on one of her contacts, she raised the phone to her ear. It rang three times before there was an answer. 
“Hello?” Spencer’s voice sounded through the phone.
“Spence, hey.” Y/N said.
“Y/N, I thought you were on a date.” He questioned.
“Well, I thought I was too but apparently he had more important things to do. He stood me up.” Y/N sighed. 
“I’m sorry,” Spencer said, sounding genuine, “I know you were excited.”
“I was but now I know what he’s really like so I guess I dodged a bullet,” Y/N joked, “But I was phoning to ask you if you wanted to meet me here. I thought it would be fun and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’ll just ask-”
“I’d love to come and meet you.” Spencer cut off her rambling.
“Really?” Y/N said, suddenly lighting up, “That’s great. I’ll text you the address. It’s quite a fancy restaurant, so dress fancy.”
***
Y/N was sitting at her table for another fifteen minutes before Spencer came in through the door. As soon as she saw Spencer, she got up from the table and wrapped him in a tight hug. He wrapped his arms back around her pulling her close. Normally if someone tried to hug him, Spencer would recoil and offer them a wave and a smile instead. But when it came to Y/N, he would hug her forever if he could. 
When Y/N pulled away, Spencer saw the dress she was wearing. It was a simple black dress but it looked incredible on Y/N.
“You look beautiful.” Spencer mumbled. 
Y/N smiled, “Thank you Dr. Reid,” Y/N scanned Spencer’s body and his attire, “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
Spencer smiled at her before the two sat down at the table. Y/N’s smile didn’t once leave her face as she ordered what she wanted and Spencer watched her with a love struck expression on his face. 
“Thank you for coming, Spence,” Y/N said, reaching across the table and taking his hand, “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Spencer said, gently holding her hand, “I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.”
Y/N smiled back at him before her face fell slightly, “I’m just annoyed at my date, he didn’t even text me or anything. I would’ve felt less hurt if he just cancelled instead but he let me sit here for half an hour waiting.”
“You shouldn’t get caught up on him. He obviously doesn’t appreciate you for who you are. He missed out on going on a date with the most amazing woman ever.” Spencer said. 
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Y/N replied, looking down at the table.
“I would,” Spencer said, “You are the most incredible, strong and beautiful women ever, your date missed out big time.”
“Thanks Spence,” Y/N smiled, holding onto his hand a little tighter, “It’s just that no one had ever said that to me before.”
“Well they should,” Spencer said, “Because it’s true.”
Before Y/N could respond, the waitress came back with their food, ending the conversation. There was so much Y/N wanted to say but she guessed it had to wait until another time. 
***
After their meal, Y/N and Spencer walked arm in arm down the street. Spencer insisted on walking her home. No words were exchanged between the two, Y/N’s mind was replaying the conversation they had back at the restaurant. 
“Spencer?”
“Yeah?” He said, looking down at Y/N.
“Did you really mean those things? Back at the restaurant, how you said I was the most amazing woman ever?”
“I meant every word,” Spencer said without hesitation, “And you should hear it more often, you underestimate your value.”
Y/N stopped walking, causing Spencer to stop. He looked back at her confused before she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. 
“Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed to hear those words.” Y/N mumbled into his neck.
“Anytime.” Spencer replied. 
The two stayed like that for a few minutes, wrapped in each other’s embrace. They gently swayed from side to side. 
“Can I ask you a question?” Y/N questioned, pulling away from the hug to look Spencer in the eye.
“Anything.” Spencer mumbled, his breath gently fanning her face due to their close proximity. 
“Do you want to go out on an official date?” Y/N said, “I would class this one but we didn’t exactly plan it and it wasn’t typically where we would go and-”
Y/N was suddenly cut off by a pair of soft lips against her own. Spencer’s arms moved from Y/N’s waist to gently cup her face, pulling her in closer. Y/N gripped onto the front of his jacket pulling him closer toward her. The sensation of kissing Spencer was one Y/N had never experienced before. There was a lot of passion behind the kiss but there was a gentleness behind it as well. It caused Y/N’s heart to flutter. 
Spencer was the first to pull away, resting his forehead against hers, both of their eyes were shut, processing what had just happened. Y/N could still feel the ghost of Spencer’s lips on her own. 
“So…” Y/N started as the two had calmed down from the kiss, “I think that we should just class this as our first date.”
Spencer chuckled, “I agree.” He said before capturing her lips with his own once again. 
***
The following day at work, Y/N was working quietly at her desk when Emily suddenly appeared at her side.
“So, how was your date?” She questioned, “You didn’t tell me all the details.”
“It went…” Y/N locked eyes with Spencer from across the room, he was trying to hide his smile behind his coffee cup, “Well. It went well.”
“Well? Just well?” Emily questioned. 
“It went more than well actually, I scored a second date.” 
“Oh, look at you,” Emily teased, nudging her, “Anything else?”
Y/N looked at Spencer who was trying hard not to make it look obvious he was listening to the conversation, “Well he’s an amazing kisser and amazing at...well I’m not going to say it out loud since we are in the workplace but you get my gist.”
Y/N watched as Spencer nearly spat out his coffee, he started coughing. Emily turned her attention towards him, “You okay Reid?”
“Yeah, I’m perfectly fine.” He said nervously before leaving to go and find something to wipe up his spilt coffee.
“What’s up with him?” Emily questioned.
“I have no idea,” Y/N responded, repressing a smirk.
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SPENCER REID TAGLIST
@spenxerslut @averyhotchner @drayshadow @reidemandweep @moviequeen51 @spencer-reid-am-i-right @ssavanessa22 @amurderofcrowsinatrenchcoat @mbjackie @jklemps @reformedmoneyshovel @nomajdetective @jesuisbenny @jooniehomie @spencerreid-187 @onyourfingertips @uhuhuh @rubyhi208-42
- add yourself HERE or message me to be added or removed :) -
- strike through couldn’t be tagged -
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whumpzone · 3 years
Text
Linden & Colton - 19
(masterpost)
CW: references to noncon, Col fearing he'll be sexually abused, flashbacks, brief victim blaming, pet whump, dehumanisation
-
Linden’s phone buzzed again, and he knew exactly who it’d be before he even looked.
Sure enough, messages from his brother were crowding his phone screen. Vikram texted in small, frantic messages, that Linden found oddly funny.
lol fine knowing you you’ll never suggest a day
are you free tomorrow? I’ll come over for lunch or something
you know you miss me!!
Linden rolled his eyes, but truth be told, he did miss him. A new message appeared before he had the chance to start typing.
fine FINE I just want to see jaffa. you can die idc
That made him huff out a laugh, but he’d never give Vik the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, he typed back:
Tomorrow is fine, don’t worry about bringing food. What are you doing now? Can you ring me? I have something to tell you before you visit.
Vik replied almost immediately.
yeah gimme 2 secs, who have you killed lol!
He checked around for Colton, but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably still working his way through the little chores and tasks Linden had given him, which meant he was either changing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom (great for dexterity) or watering the balcony plants (providing plenty of fresh air and sunlight). Either way, he still positioned himself in the corner of the lounge, the furthest from his Pet’s ears.
He answered on the second ring. “Vik?”
“Hey, big man. You alright?”
“Yeah… yeah… I, um, I need to tell you something before you come over.”
“You sound tense, mate. What is it? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine it’s just- I have a Pet. Uh. Yeah.”
Vik didn’t miss a beat. “Are you serious? You, a Pet owner? Please.”
“I know, but there was this, this ad, in the paper, the council were talking about this random stray and they said if no one claimed him they were gonna put him down. They would have murdered him, Vik! And I don’t know. I just thought, fuck, no one else is gonna do anything are they. So I rang them up and they gave him to me for free.”
“Wow,” Vik said, a placeholder while he digested all of that. “So, how is he?”
“He’s alright, yeah. Only recently learned that he could speak. He’s still really really jumpy.”
“He’s scared of you, then,” Vik translated.
“Yeah. I don’t know how much of him you’ll see tomorrow. I’ll tell him it’s alright if he just stays in his room.”
“I can’t picture you as a Pet owner, even though you’re not a proper one.”
“Not a proper one as in I’m a good person with a soul?” Linden quipped. Vik snorted.
“Basically. Ew, it’s weird! He does whatever you say! But you’re just- you’re Linden. You’re my stupid baby brother. He should be telling you what to do.”
Linden smiled. Vik always put him at ease. Difficult topics seemed to flow off him like water off a duck. “Yeah, yeah it is kind of weird, I’m still getting used to it. But you see why I wanted to let you know beforehand.”
“Oh, yeah, totally,” he laughed. “Or else I might have thought he was burgling your house and I’d have asked to join in.”
“Oh, shut up. See you for lunch.”
“See you, Pet man!”
Linden felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but not entirely. Now he had to tell Col.
. . .
He had finished over ten minutes ago. Shiny drops of water still lingered on some of the wider leaves, not quite ready to drop into the moist soil below. But the balcony was too warm and sunny to resist, so Col was still kneeling there when he heard Master’s voice behind him.
He flinched hard at the sound, getting up quickly and ungraciously, tripping over his own feet as if he hadn’t just been caught lazing around.
Through the doorway, a perfect rectangle of light caught Master’s face, cutting down through one eye and turning his left cheek a tawny brown. He had his hands clasped behind his back, and leant forward slightly.
“Don’t worry about getting up, you’re fine, love. No, I don’t know if you heard, but I was just speaking to my brother Vikram over the phone. He’s going to visit tomorrow.”
Master was having a guest. Col nodded, but his mind went white. He suddenly felt like he wasn’t in control anymore. He was underwater, and Master’s voice barely faded through from above the surface.
“You can stay in your room, okay? You don’t have to come down and see him, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”
The words flowed past his head, and whatever barriers had been pulled down over his mind kept them from making a dent. “Thank you, sir,” his body replied.
“Okay?” Master half-smiled. “Okay. Good stuff, Col. It’s a nice day- stay out on the balcony more, I know you like it there. I’ll see you later, okay?”
He nodded, but it must have been delayed, because he blinked and Master had left the room, as if he had never been there. Had Col dreamt it?
Turning around, the flowers were wet, so he had completed that task. He knew he had been ordered to stay, so he did, trying to keep the creeping dread from flooding him entirely.
But-
The next day-
It all came crashing down. His eyes snapped open and he was in his room, waiting, and then there was the click of the front door and Master was speaking, speaking with another voice- there was a man in the house-
Master only ever had guests when his Pet had been bad, and he was going to be taught a lesson, and that’s why he was told to wait in his room, that’s why he was prepped, maybe it was a small mercy. But he had been in such a state of denial, barely able to process the news, that he hadn’t done anything to make it hurt less.
All he knew was that he was on the floor in the corner, the furthest one from the bed, and his arms were wrapped around him as if that’d do anything to stop the onslaught. He knew they would just force his limbs apart and restrain them like that until they were done, and it didn’t matter whether he cried and begged. Sometimes they even enjoyed it more when he did. Once he had been lifted up by his throat and told to beg for his life, and it made everyone laugh, because look at it, it wants this, it’s begging for it.
The door handle turned and Col could see Master’s face. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they landed on Col, tucked away in the corner of the room. “Col? What is it?”
. . .
Hey, Col. Vik is here, just so you know, but again, no pressure to come downstairs. He knew what he would say, the tone he’d say it in, so he could hopefully make Col feel secure. But it all fell apart when he laid eyes on the Pet, curled up and trembling on the far side of the room.
“Col?” he said. “What is it?”
“You promised,” Col sobbed, utterly betrayed. Linden’s heart broke. “You promised you wouldn’t- wouldn’t- wouldn’t do that…”
“I won’t,” he said, understanding immediately and wanting more than anything to go over to Col and pull him into a hug. But he couldn’t. He knew that.
“You said you wouldn’t let anyone else,” he whispered, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.
Then- the moment of vulnerability passed. Not that Col looked any less vulnerable. He was still hunched, small and weak, programmed to do whatever it took to make Linden happy. But he caught his tongue, and the mask slipped back on.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can do- do what you want to me. Of course. I’m not, I don’t mean to question you, Master, I’m sorry, I know my place, I’m good, I promise I’m good.”
“You are, you’re really good.” He put a hand over his heart and kept it there. “I’m not going to come in, Vik isn’t going to come in. Neither of us are going to hurt you. I promised, and I’m sticking to it.”
Col was still sobbing, but it was more uneven breaths than actual tears. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to with the way his lungs were pulling the rug from underneath him.
“For now, I think you might feel safer if I just left you alone, so I’ll go back downstairs, okay? And I won’t disturb you again. You just make sure you feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, Col. You’re safe.”
-
Vikram didn’t say anything as Linden returned, but he did raise his eyebrows. Linden just nodded, keeping quiet until he was sat back down and, hopefully, out of earshot.
“Poor thing,” said Linden. “He thinks, well- he just sees everything as a threat. I don’t know if he’s ever had a positive experience with another person before. At least not in his memory. Did you…”
He trailed off and Vik simply nodded. All humour was gone from his face; he knew when to leave it out, and when it would help. “Yeah, I heard a bit of it. Heard him crying.”
“I don’t want you to take it personally-“ Linden started, but Vik had already swatted at him.
“Oh, stop it. As if I would. But I am- I am happy I’m here, even though I’m sorry it’s scared him. You need someone too, Linden. Like, shit, this is a full time job.”
“You sound weird, being nice to me” he smiled weakly. Vik grinned back at him, in complete earnest.
“Well then, we can talk about something else, if you want. Something I can confidently mock you for. Where’s Jaffa, too?” he twisted around in his chair, searching for her. His floofed-up hair, hairsprayed to excess, bobbed around on the top of his head as he went. “Where’s my little main attraction?”
Soon Vik had Jaffa on his lap where he was brushing her absent-mindedly, listening to Linden talk about the latest book he had read.
“You are a fuckin’ hermit, dude.”
“And?” Linden pulled his best bored-looking face.
“Well… actually, yeah, stay indoors. Forcing you to come drinking with me would be at the rest of the pub’s expense.”
“You’re a bastard,” Linden laughed. “It’s you they should be worrying about, with that boulder of hair on your head. Look at the state of it, it crunches when you touch it.”
“The ladies love it.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they know if they get locked out they can use it to smash a window.”
. . .
Above them, Col listened. He couldn’t make out the words, but both men seemed happy and upbeat, excited about the night ahead of them, excited about the pliant little bitch waiting upstairs.
Before that, though-
Colton had been openly defiant. He had begged for it to stop before it had even started. He hadn’t taken an ounce of pain, nothing had earned him the right to plead for mercy. He had not only been insubordinate, but he had done it while Master had a guest. That kind of embarrassment would not go unpunished. Master would not have his authority undermined by some common stray.
Col desperately needed to apologise. He knew he shouldn’t just wait for his punishment like usual this time. This time he needed to right the balance. He would prove that he knew his place, and show Master’s guest that his rule here was absolute. So with shaking hands, he slowly creaked open the door, and went downstairs.
The laughter died as he came into view, and even the feeling of their eyes settling over his body made his skin prickle. For a split second, his feet locked in place, but as usual his fear pushed them onwards. He kept his head down, his arms behind his back, his shoulders hunched. As soon as he reached Master’s feet, he knelt. Forehead to the floor. Hands to his sides, ready to be stomped on or grabbed. He was a slave. He was always open for his Master’s use. He did not answer back and he did not question.
“Col, are you, are you sure you want to be here?” Master asked from above. He was very sure. But yes, of course, it was no use Col thinking these kinds of affirmations in his head. He had to make them clear.
“I’m here to apologise, sir, for daring to answer back and embarrassing you. Your Pet knows that he is owned completely and it was c-completely wrong to question you. I had no right to ask for mercy, I don’t deserve any. I’m a mindless Pet with no free will and I exist to serve you. P-Please, accept th-this apology. It won’t- won’t happen again.”
He stammered, towards the end. He could only hope Master wouldn’t get angry about it.
. . .
Ironically, it was now that Linden was embarrassed. He glanced over at Vik, and as the two brothers made eye contact, it was as if they had exchanged a whole conversation.
You see, see what I mean? See how he is?
Yeah, dude. It’s fucked up.
I’m sorry.
Don’t be. You’re doing your best to help him. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.
He gently reached down to Col and rested a palm on top of his head. He jerked in surprise, a weak gasp escaping his lips, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still.
“Okay, love. Thank you. I’m not angry, okay? My brother is here and he always puts me in a good mood.”
He shot another glance at Vik, mouthing this is how I make him understand. Vik nodded. He was looking at Col curiously. Linden wondered if this was how he had pictured him.
“You didn’t embarrass me. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you. Vik doesn’t want to hurt you either. Why don’t you go and sit on the balcony, and I’ll sit with you later, and pet your head? You’re not in trouble.”
As he retracted his hand Col’s head tilted upwards, chasing the warmth of the touch. He kept his eyes low, but whispered, “Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you for having mercy. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“Okay, you’re okay. Let me help you up.”
It was technically an order, and Col obeyed silently, offering no resistance as Linden slipped a hand over his elbow and pulled him to his feet. He smiled at Col, but his face was blank and resigned. Beyond fear. He had done what he could, and his fate was in Linden’s hands once more. It hurt to know that. Linden could decide to leash Col at any moment, torture him with knives and burning oil and belts, and Col wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
Linden steered him to the base of the stairs, and then gently encouraged him upwards, until he had drifted out of sight entirely.
The house was silent. He turned back to Vik, but neither had to say anything. Linden already knew that he understood.
-
first half of the taglist!
@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread
@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate
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fckwritersblock · 3 years
Text
More Than Therapy
Bucky x black!reader
Warning: sooooo there is smut ahead. Okay like, not complete filth but it’s there! Who even knows what this is, but enjoy it!
Pic below from post by @afriendlyblackhottie
(Unedited.)
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“Look, I’m not saying that she’s not a great therapist, I’m just think that she’s not your style.”
Bucky didn’t hide his eye roll.
For the past 2 weeks, Sam had been trying to convince him he needed a second option. Ever since he had his own encounter with Bucky’s therapist, which consisted of being forcefully included in one of their sessions, he could see it wasn’t really helping Bucky at all. Not that Sam was an expert or anything, he just knew his.....friend.
“Alright Sam, fine.” Bucky sighed tossing the wrench to the side. “So what. I kick my therapist to curb, then what? You got some kind of recommendation or something?”
Sam just smirked before turning and making his way off the boat.
“Actually I do.”
Now here Bucky was, waiting on another person to come and try to break down all his walls and get in his head and help him with through his ‘issues’.
“Waste of time.” He mumbled to his self.
However, when she walked in the door, that thought quickly left.
“I’m Y/n.”
“James”
“It’s nice to meet you James.”
For the first time in a very long time Bucky felt comfortable almost immediately. The conversation didn’t feel forced, he didn’t feel pressured, it was just easy. Y/n didn’t push and pry. She simply let him answer the way he want and what he wanted. She let him sort of control the conversation. It was refreshing.
From then on, he saw her twice a week. Their first two weeks together was just them getting to know one another. Establishing trust on Buckys end. He appreciated that for once the woman so much pressure for him to be OK so soon. Finally, after about a month or so, they were doing a little exercises here and there to work through his trauma. The first assignment, it was actually pretty similar to the last psychiatrist he had seen. To get out and make at least one friend. Find an activity or something that he enjoys.
“So have you been getting out like we discussed?”
“Yeah I’ve gone out.” He nodded carelessly with a grin as he sat across the table from her.
Y/n raised an eyebrow. “To places besides the bar.”
“Yes.”
“Liar.” She said and it was her turn to grin as she held her hand out.
He sighed and rolled his eyes, handing over his phone. Bucky watched her click a few buttons knowing she was checking his contacts. This was like Deja vu.
“You have the same amount of numbers in your phone as last week Barnes.”
“Not true Doc, I have you.” He smiled sheepishly.
“I hardly count Barnes.” A small smile graced her face nonetheless.
She was quiet for a moment and he took that opportunity to study her. In deep thought. Y/n had a tell. She’d bite the corner of her bottom lip on the right side every time she was trying to figure something out. Usually before she came up with his homework before the next session.
“I have a thought but you’re not gonna like it.” She began after while.
“Lay it on Doc.”
“I don’t feel like you are actively trying to be a part of society. What you’ve been doing, trying to right your wrongs of the other guy...” she drifted for a moment. “It’s futile. You don’t need to do that. That-“
Y/n paused taking a deep breath.
“That’s not you.” She spoke softly.
“But that is me! I am winter soldier!” He yelled on his feet quickly.
Anger. He was familiar with the feeling. Angry was something he just couldn’t seem to stop feeling. Even if he didn’t show it, it was like he was angry all the time. However feeling it with her was unfamiliar. And he could feel the inner turmoil of him taking his frustrations out on her as he tried to push that anger back down.
“Were.” Y/n stated with finality, voice strong. “You were the winter Solider. And that wasn’t you. That’s just a couple of dark chapters in the book of your life. That’s it.
“You don’t know m-“
“But that is not you.” She repeated a little louder commanding forcing him to look her dead in the eyes. “That’s not who you are, James. And while I may not have known you pre-hydra, or during, but I’m knowing you now. And that’s just not you.”
Y/n leaned back in her chair.
“I know that here, Bucky.” She grinned a little placing her hand over her heart and tapped twice. “And deep down, so do you.”
“. You, James Buchanan Barnes, you are not the bad guy.
The anger he had been feeling had subsided and I was replaced with something that was completely unfamiliar to him. Something he longed for couldn’t quite the grass. Something that he didn’t even realize was in within his reach until noon.. The feeling, regardless of how unfamiliar it was with something Bucky didn’t think he wanted to go away.
The silence between them was comfortable. Y/n could tell that he was processing her words. It was a good thing, she could because he was no longer good tense and his stance was relaxed instead of defensive.
“You know what? We’re finished for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She declared.
“What?” Bucky snapped out of his tranced and frowned. “Doc, come on. I shouldn’t be seeing you til Thursday.”
“Yeah tomorrow,” she nodded with a smile. “I want to try something different.”
The next day but he showed up at their usual time, 11 AM. When he stopped at a reception to ask for Dr. Y/n they informed him she was out for the day. He frowned and turned to leave only to find her approaching him from the elevator.
“Hey! You ready to go?” Y/n offered a gentle smile.
“I thought we were-“ he asked went fo point back toward her office but she stopped him.
“We are. We’re just doing things differently today.” She informed him, before nodding her head toward the elevator. “Let’s go.”
Their day together was eventful to say the least. Their first stop was her favorite coffee spot. It was actually a little hole in the wall called Hippies Brew in the downtown area. A cool modern place full of friendly and eccentric individuals. It was comfortable. Homey. It wasnt one she’d typically recommend clients, but she would recommend it to friends. After that they were too the aquarium followed by the park where they sat on a park bench for lunch. Lunch being tacos from the El Gordo’s taco truck parked near by. Well a lot of the time at the park or spit in silence, it was still comfortable as a people watched together. While Bucky hated to admit it, this is the first time he really just felt at peace. There was no one looking over him with some unrealistic expectation of him to be Steve, and become so hero he wasn’t. There was no pressure to get his shit together right then and there. He was just simply allowed to be Bucky. Unapologetically.
“Walk with me?” He asked.
Y/n raised an eyebrow, surprised he initiated doing something together, but agreed with a smile.
Soon enough they easily fell into conversation of as they began to walk the lake.
Before they knew it, the sun was beginning to set. Their time together lasted longer than Y/n planned but either was it was nice. She enjoyed today, as did he. Bucky’s offered to walk her back to her car, savoring their last few moments together.
“Are you sure I can’t give you a ride home?” Y/n asked as they got closer to her car in the now empty lot.
“Yeah, Doc, lm sure.” He smiled back at her, her smile and laugh being infectious. “I like walking. It gives me time to think. it’s peaceful. Kind of like today.”
Y/n’s smile widened at his confession. So her idea did work. He was making progress.
“ That’s what you deserve James peace. I can’t promise every day is gonna be like this.” She turned away approaching the driver side door. “I mean, it is life there are going to be some bad days. But you do deserve some peace. Some happiness.
She turned to see that he was a lot closer than she thought saying that he was preparing to open the door for her. She swallowed, suddenly feel in the air around them shift. As she ran her tongue over her lips, Bucky’s eyes zeroed in on the action.
“You just have to let yourself have it.” She said softly.
It was in that exact moment where James decided he was going to do just that; let himself have happiness. And without thinking, he leaned forward and connected his lips with her.
He pulled away almost as soon as it happened eyes wide.
“James…” y/n finger tips traced her lips as she stared at him.
“I am, i, I don’t know-“ Bucky stuttered.
He went to take a step back but was stopped. This time it was her who initiated the kiss.
What started off as gentle, turned into her fisting a handful of his shirt put him closer with his hands wrapped around her waist. The heat that washed over them both, was like a moth to a flame. The passion poured into the kiss from both ends quickly consuming them both. The two fighting for a dominance, it wasn’t until they both harshly pushed against her car setting the alarm off that they snapped out of it.
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry wh-“ Y/n’s eyes were wide as she looked around anxiously.
Bucky could sense her panicking.
“y/n-“
“ I am so sorry. That was highly inappropriate of me-“
“Breathe for me doll-“ he reached for her but she pulled her hand away shaking her head vigorously.
“I can’t, we can’t, I have never.” She took a deep breath, her next words still coming out shaky. “I’m so sorry. To take a vantage of you like that-“
“I was the one who-“ he attempted once more to no avail.
“I have to go. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” She rushed out, flinging her door open and getting in the car.
All Bucky could do was watch as she wasted no time peeling out of the parking lot.
That was the last he had seen or heard of her. It had been almost two weeks and she had canceled both his weekly sessions and hadn’t answered any of his calls or returned any of the messages he left both at the office and on her cell phone.
And boy, was he stressed about it.
He had never felt that kind of passion before. To be honest it was something he didn’t think he was capable of feeling. He had been consumed by anger for so long, he wanted to cling onto whatever else, anything else. Bucky would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel the chemistry between them. He came to the conclusion he’d been falling for her for a while, and was clearly in denial until that day they spent the day together. It’s not like he was trying to fall for his therapist. But now that he had...Ge had to at least try. Make sure what he was feeling wasn’t one sided.That spark. It was a feeling, a high he had never felt. One he knew he’d forever be chasing and he wanted it again and again and again. So when the third week approached he decided to take matters into his own hands.
A knock her door tore her away from Grey’s Anatomy.
“Coming!”
Pulling her dress down, she went and answered the door.
“Bucky.” She said his name breathlessly.
“Y/n.” He breathed out, happy to be in her presence even though it hurt slightly to hear her suddenly calling him Bucky.
He quite liked when she called him James. He liked the way she said his name.
“What are you-, how.” She tried to control her breathing. “You can’t be here.”
“I need you,” he signed. “To hear me out.”
“Bucky-“
“James.” He corrected her. “Look, I know this totally inappropriate but I-“
James paused taking in her appearance, noticing the purple bruising around her lower right eye above her cheekbone.
“Who?” He questioned through gritted teeth.
“Huh?”
He huffed pushing past her and moving in and around the apartment as if someone would come out and confess. He turned toward her a wild look in his eye.
“Give me. A name, Y/n.”
“James....” she signed.
While he knew she was talking seeing as her lips were moving, It was like he could hear her but he wasn’t hearing her. Bucky couldn’t focus on anything other than a bruise on the side of Y/n’s beautiful face. It had been along time since Bucky had thought of actually hurting somebody, save for John Walker last week which was another story entirely, whoever did this to her face though, he wanted to hurt them bad and he was going to enjoy it. His eyes traveled down toward her lips and he still couldn’t hear her. All he could hear was his fist repeated smashing into said individuals face. Over, and over, over-
“James!”
The sound of her voice finally resonated and he finally focused on her words.
“Come back to me James.” Her voice was gently. Inviting.
Everything he noticed both her hands on the side of his face, her thumb rubbing soothingly.
“It’s fine.” She said slowly removing her hands away as she explained. “There’s no need to hunt anyone down. Just a regular 50150 patient and things got out of hand. It happens.”
“No one should touch you.” He stated with seriousness.
Y/n stared at him for a moment, the right side of her lip pulled between her teeth, eyes pooling with something he hadn’t seen in her before. She shrugged nonchalantly.
“I kind of like it when you touch me.”
Her voice was barely above a whisper but he heard her loud and clear.
Just like before, it started off with light kisses, which soon turned into a bit of teasing, a little lip nipping, before things got extremely heated. Both his shirt had been discarded while the straps of her dress were pulled down revealing her black Savage Fenty bra. They had somehow moved from the living room to the kitchen island. Bucky stood between her legs one hand tangled in her braids while her hands held the sides of her face, gently caressing the stubble. Her legs were wrapped around his middles as she began grinding her hips into him. He pulled her closer, the both of them on a high from the friction. Bucky’s metal hand traveled up her bare back giving her goosebumps. They broke apart for air and as soon as Y/n had enough oxygen in her lungs, she went back to licking, kissing and sucking on his neck.
"Shit, Y/n.” Bucky unconsciously tilted his head back giving her better access, his hands palming her ass as his hips bucked into her.
"James." Y/n pulled back panting, lips swollen. " I want you. Now."
Bucky made quick work of removing her panties that coated in her juices , and in return y/n quickly unbuckled his pants using her feet to aid her in pushing them down.
“Shit.” He groaned immediately as she whimpered slightly at the feel of him sliding into her.
Her arms were wound around his neck while his hand gripped the top of her ass to keep her in place as he begin to slowly thrust in and out of her.
Bucky was on a high. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this level of intimacy. Euphoria. He was sure this feeling should be illegal.
The way she were wrapped around him, he knew if he didn’t take it semi slow he wasn’t going to last.
“James,” she moaned, clawing at his back, walls clenching.
He wasn’t sure what sounded sweeter; her moaning or his name leaving her lips.
“Doll?” He responded, kissing the at the base of her neck.
I’m clos-“ Y/n sucked in a breath of air. “Right there.”
“There?” He asked spreading her ass cheeks apart so he could go deeper.
“Yes! Right there!”
It was a bit sloppy from there as Bucky shifted for a better angle. Her ass halfway off the table as he picked up the pace bit her her closer to the edge. He was bouncing her up and down on his shaft effortlessly. Her arms wrapped right around his neck, kiss sloppy as she bit her lip to keep her moans at bay.
“No,” he breathed out, reaching up with one hand forcing her to kissing him, her moans filling his mouth instead. “I want to hear you.”
“James, I’m-“
“I know.”
The sight of Y/n coming undone before him was a glorious one . He couldn’t wait to make her cum again.
Once she came down from her orgasm, she placed her lips back on his, tightening her legs around him once more. He shifted their position a bit and begin again when suddenly the front door opened and in walked Sam.
“Oh shit!” Bucky pulled out of her and struggled to pull up his pants and turned to shield her half naked frame.
“Sam!” Y/n squealed pulling her dress up to her chest as best she could.
“What in the entire fuck!” Sam screamed while covering his eyes.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” Y/n yelled.
“You told me toy were off!”
“I’m am off!”
“Well I thought I’d bring you dinner! I didn’t know id find this!” Sam said exasperatedly.
Y/n and Bucky were decent informing Sam he no longer had to cover his eyes. Immediately he pointed an accusatory finger at Bucky.
“You! What the fuck did I tell you about my sister?”
Bucky stared at him confused.
“You said not to flirt with your sister.” He repeated Sam’s words. “Sarah’s not..”
He then turned toward Y/n, things finally clicking.
“You’re Sam’s sister.” Bucky concluded.
“Baby sister.” Sam. added.
“I’m grown as hell Samuel!” Y/n fussed.
“Really bruh, my baby sister?!”
“Well how i suppose to know you only refer to her as baby!”
“Once again! I’m grown as fuck-“ she stopped hearing the front door creek open again.
“Who’s that?!” The woman’s eyes were wide with horror as she whispered.
“The boys!” Sam exclaimed in a whisper.
“Why didn’t you say they were here-“ she began frantically washing her hands.
“I’m sorry I was a little fuckin preoccupied with the fact my sister is fucking an assassin-
“Former assassin!” Bucky corrected.
“Hey TT!” Sarah’s boys greeted simultaneously with smiles as they bent the corner.
“Hey my babies!” Y/n instantly put a smile on her face pulling them each into her arms.
“Hey Bucky!” Cass waved
“Hey Bucky!” AJ addressed the solider as well before turning back toward his brother, “Cass , come on.”
“Wait let me put the pizza on the counter-“
“No!” The three adults exclaimed together.
“No boo, I’ll take it.” Y/n smiled again at her nephew taking the pizza.
“why don’t yall go in the living room and get the game set up?” Sam suggested.
“Yes! Let’s take the pizza in there while they bleach the kitchen?” Y/n hinted at the men while telling the kids to follow her.
“Oh yeah! TT, Uncle Sam got us two new video games!”,AJ informed her. “He also said we can watch a scary movie tonight since moms not here.
“Yeah! Andddd, he said we can door dash ice cream!” Cass added as the two kids followed their aunt into the living room.
Though he was silent, throughout the entire interaction but he couldn’t help but want you living room interact with the two kids. Back in the day, if you would’ve asked him if he believed in love at first site he would’ve said no. But he was pretty sure he was in love with Y/n already.
Once out of sight, Bucky took that opportunity to speak after a beat.
“Have I ever told you I’m glad you treat your nephew’s so well, Sam?” He asked after clearing his throat.
Sam sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Yeah? Why’s that?” Bucky turned to him with a huge grin on his face.
“Cuz I’m gonna give you another one.”
Slowly Sam began to laugh, albeit one full of sarcasm, Bucky joined in sincerely. They laughed together for a moment before Sam ceased, his face expressionless.
“Bucky?”
“Yeah Sam?”
“I’m going to kill you.”
435 notes · View notes
comfortbucky · 3 years
Note
requests? did someone say requests??😌
fluffy headcanon, mafia boss!bucky comes home after being away for a week or so and it’s just a cute ass reunion between the reader & him with lots of kisses & hugs n shit
or(take your pick) :)
one shot, where john walker is really rude to reader(insults her & shit), but she stands up for herself. they(her & john) get into a fight & bucky finds out by surprisingly swinging by her apartment. of course bucky is pissed, but he tends to her wounds. then for some stupid reason, john shows up at readers apartment & bucky loses it. but it ends in bucky admitting his feelings to reader n some fluff 😩
hope you find motivation for at least one of these:😚
hi yes hehe i did say requests🙈
i’m a sucker for tfatws!bucky so- (and john walker is a rat bastard🤣 so lemme go off)
𝗶 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ 。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚ ⋆
pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!avenger!reader
warnings: john walker (grr), violence! and descriptions of bloody injuries
A/N: also! i sort of changed the prompt i hope u don’t mind too much🥺 // this oneshot will not be taking place during the canon timeline btw but inspired by the events/themes of tfatws
word count: 1.5 k
my masterlist!
completed requests!
Y/N sighed, as she plopped onto the couch after a long day. She, Bucky, and Sam had spent the whole day researching the Flagsmashers to try and track them down. It took all day, partially because Bucky needed a little extra help with learning how to use his laptop. She chuckled at the memory, grabbing the remote to turn her TV on. Suddenly, a loud, aggressive, knock interrupted her thoughts. She sighed and leaned her head on the back of her couch, taking a moment to debate leaving her very comfortable spot, before getting up to answer the door. Y/N knew that she probably should have peeked through her peephole before answering, but she wanted to return to the comfort of her couch as soon as possible. She opened it to see none other than John Walker, greeting her with a smirk. Y/N rolled her eyes.
“What are you doing here, John? How the hell did you even get my address?”
“All government property has GPS tracking in it," he said, pointing to her laptop on the kitchen table behind her. She turned and frowned as he continued. "Look, you need us, me and Battlestar, to take down Karli.” She looked back at John, laughing at Lemar’s alias.
“No way I’m letting someone who goes by Battlestar help me out.” He glared at her comment. “Or you, a Captain America wannabe.”
John took an aggressive step closer, way too close for Y/N’s comfort, as he replied. “I am Captain America, whether you like it or not.”
"You'll never be Captain America," she snapped back. "You don't have what it takes." He glared at her and put his face right in front of hers.
"How would you know? You're a pathetic excuse for a soldier," he spat and Y/N grimaced at John's spit landing on her cheeks. He looked at her, his eyes examining her body. She hated every second of it, his stare making her feel grimy all over, like she immediately needed a shower. “Who’d you fuck to get into the Avengers anyways? Bet it was Steve.”
John’s comment was immediately followed by Y/N’s fist connecting with his cheek, forcing him to stagger back into the hall. She’d heard concerns about her abilities as an Avenger before, calling her weak, fragile, a bitch, etc. But she knew they almost always came from misogynistic men, and was able to shrug their comments off because she knew that she could easily beat all of them to a pulp, no problem. But thinking that she would sleep her way into becoming an Avenger crossed a line. Especially someone she respected and had admired as much as Steve.
John held his hand to his cheek, where he’d been hit, and looked up to make eye contact with Y/N. He smiled and before stating in a condescending tone, “That was cute.” John kicked her in the stomach, launching her onto the floor of her apartment. As she groaned and started to get up, John chuckled and kicked her down before she got to her knees. He went to kick her again when she rolled away, dodging his kick and standing up quickly, panting as she responded.
“God, do you ever shut the fuck up?”
She kicked her leg up to deliver a roundhouse kick to John’s face, spinning around to punch his nose. He stumbled a couple steps back, regaining his balance before swinging a punch towards Y/N. She caught his fist before it hit her and John took the opportunity to use his free hand to grab his shoulder and knee her in the stomach. She gasped, getting the wind knocked out of her. He then threw her into a shelf, shattering several photo frames on the ground. She landed on her stomach, attempting to get up by pushing her self up on her forearms. Y/N felt a warm liquid on her cheek and touched it, pulling it away from her face to see her fingertips covered in blood.
“Asshole,” she mumbled, before standing up to continue fighting.
Several moments ago, Bucky had made the decision to show up at Y/N’s apartment. He pressed some random keys on his computer, and now there was an error message that wouldn’t go away on his screen. Stubbornly, he tried to fix it on his own but ended up making it worse. He sighed in defeat, closing his laptop shut and tucking it under his arm before heading over towards her apartment. Bucky was just down the hall when he heard the sound of glass shattering, his leisurely stroll turning into a sprint to Y/N’s door.
Bucky arrived to see you pinned up against a wall with John’s hand around ur throat. Your hands were desperately clawing at John’s, attempting to free yourself from his grasp. Fear and terror consumed him before a wave of fury took over. Immediately, Bucky launched into action, dropping his laptop in the process. He ripped John away from you, tossing him on the ground. Bucky moved to hover over John, punching him repeatedly in the face. Y/N finally caught her breath and crawled over to Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder, signaling him to stop. He kept his eyes on John’s bloody and bruised face, lowering his fist.
“Touch her again, and I’ll kill you,” he snarled, releasing John from his grasp.
John rolled over, took a moment to catch his breath. Bucky was standing, fists still clenched by his sides, as he watched John get up and exit Y/N’s apartment without another word.
He closed the door behind him and immediately spun around to see Y/N struggling to get up, attempting to push up from one of her knees. Bucky instantly rushed to her side, helping her to her feet. He grabbed one of her hands in his own and placed his other hand on the small of her back, as he guided her to the couch. He examined her and felt a pain in his chest, looking at her black eye, cut cheek, and her bruised neck outlined with John’s handprint. Without saying a word, he stood up and returned with a first-aid kit from her bathroom. He sat back down and immediately started to tend to her wounds. As Bucky started to disinfect the cut on her cheek, he spoke.
“That was stupid of you,” he mumbled, gently dabbing antiseptic ointment on her cut. It was a drastic contrast from his behavior only minutes ago, nearly ready to murder John. He took a bandaid from the kit and delicately placed it on her cheek. Bucky then moved his hand to assess her black eye, his thumb softly grazing a soft patch of skin under her eye. She frowned and lightly pushed his hand away.
“I would’ve been fine on my own, you know.”
“Sit still so I can take a look at your bruise.” He responded gruffly, lifting his hand and attempting to look at her bruised eye again. She shoved his hand away, this time more aggressively, and tried to stand up.
“Just leave me alone,” Y/N said, wincing and clutching her abdomen in pain, causing Bucky to grab her waist and slowly lower her back down onto the couch. Fucking John Walker.
“Y/N.”
She pulled his hands off her and reluctantly sat down to face him.
“You don’t need to defend me, Bucky,” she spoke, Bucky sensing anger in her voice. “I’m not some weak, helpless civilian. I’m a god damn Avenger for christ sake!” As Y/N shouted, her voice wavered and her eyes started to well up with tears.
Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and Bucky sat with his hands resting on his lap. Although she was speaking to Bucky, she felt like she was more-so trying to convince herself of what she was saying.
“I know,” he said calmly, but with a stern tone, keeping his eyes locked on hers.
“Okay, so leave me alone.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not!”
“Because I fuckin’ care about you!” Bucky shouted, causing Y/N’s face to immediately soften.
Her arms dropped to rest in her lap and she froze as Bucky softly raised his hand to cup her cheek, captivated by his touch. He cautiously moved, worried she would push his hand away again, but she didn’t. His thumb gently caressed her non-cut cheek and he pulled her face close to his. She felt his breaths fan her face as he spoke.
“I know you’re one of the strongest Avengers,” he started. “And I know you could kick John’s ass any day of the week. But I care so much about you and I need you to be okay.” Bucky’s lips hovered over Y/N’s, lightly brushing against hers.
“I need you, Y/N.”
She responded by crashing her lips onto his, moving her hands to hold his face closer to hers. The kiss was full of passion, love, and unspoken feelings. When they broke apart, gasping for air, Y/N smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair.
“I care about you too, Buck.”
Bucky had never seen such a bright light in his 106 years of living.
292 notes · View notes
thegodwithin · 3 years
Note
hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.
Hey, so I just want to say that I really understand you. It’s funny how as I read your ask for the first time it really stood out to me how it was reflecting my current state at that moment so thank you for sending it. I will try my best to answer your questions but I'm still figuring this stuff out myself so I'm also just going to recommend some material that should help. I’ll put all the links at the end of the reply.
I have broken up your ask into several different topics and I’ll be addressing each one separately so please bear with me here.
This is the longest reply I've ever written so the rest is under the cut
law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused.
i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc.
I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.
The first and most important thing I want to say to you is that you should really learn from the source material, which as far as I’m concerned here is Neville Goddard. I know there are other teachers like him but he’s the main source most blogs and youtubers make their content from. And frankly a lot of posts on tumblr seem to really simplify and reduce things to the point where you get to this idea that it’s all just affirming and persisting which I really can’t agree with. That’s a conclusion one can reach after learning this stuff, processing it, experimenting with it and realizing what works best for them. But there are certainly other factors involved in the process, whether the person was aware of them or not. This also goes for youtubers and coaches in general. All these people are speaking based on their own experiences with the law. Through the lenses of their own beliefs, limitations, etc. So it’s only natural that they will sound different from each other and their message and style might not resonate with every person in the same way. Which is why you’re not supposed to just accept everything you hear or read at face value. Apply it, experiment with it and make your own conclusions.
like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results.
Most of us come into contact with the law from a negative situation and looking for a quick fix, and what we end up finding is a whole lot more than we ever bargained for. These teachings challenge everything we have ever known and accepted as absolute unchangeable truths in the world. And we are also dared to accept the responsibility that we were the cause of our entire lives?! It’s a lot to take in. You can’t be one foot in and one foot out. You’re trying to manifest something but you’re not seeing results. If you’re looking for results then you weren’t truly committed to living in the end and you haven’t really changed. You must notice the change within first, before the outside world can reflect that. You just give yourself what you want in your mind, and you keep doing it, day in and day out, with complete disregard for what your outer senses are telling you, until it hardens into a fact.
i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier?
Battling with the 3d can certainly be painful and it just turns into a vicious cycle, because the more attention you pay to something, the more it gets perpetuated in your reality and in your experiences. I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I struggle with this as well. If anything, at least remember to prioritize your feelings at every given moment. If you notice that you’re feeling bad / reacting negatively to the 3d, stop and ask yourself: what do I want? or what do I want to feel?
Usually when I do that my mind automatically shows me the answer and then if I can enter the reality (within me, in my mind with my thoughts and feelings) where those things are true, suddenly that circumstance I was just reacting to doesn’t matter anymore. Because I feel fulfilled within now.
Just start allowing yourself to have what you want, no matter what. Practice putting yourself first, before anything else, before the circumstances around you, before what others might say or do. Even if the 3d looks bad right now, you deserve to feel what you want, you don’t have to keep putting yourself down because you haven’t seen an outside change yet. And the truth is that you won’t see a change if you keep watching the 3d and taking score from it. Because it can only change after you do. Because it’s a reflection of you. Allow yourself to feel that relief and satisfaction, in your imagination, everyday. Make it a habit and little by little you will have changed your mindset, entering a new reality.
Everything in your 3d world is an illusion in the sense that it’s not the truth. And this is because everything that you experience with your senses, in your 3d world is a direct reflection of you. You are everything, and you are everywhere you go and every person you meet. You can only ever experience yourself, nothing else. Nothing exists outside of you. Everything begins and ends with you.
and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine?
You are God of your own reality. There’s only you in your reality. Nothing else and no one else. So everything and everyone that shows up is under your influence. IN YOUR REALITY. You can’t really access other people’s realities or inner worlds, and likewise they can’t reach yours. Even what you perceive as things outside of you pertaining to other people’s lives and experiences are still coming in through your own lenses, of the concept you have of that person, of the expectations and beliefs you have about them. This is why you shouldn’t bother with anything but yourself. Because it’s a waste of energy. Because everything you will ever perceive will come through you first. You can’t experience anything but yourself, your beliefs and your expectations. If you believe others can influence your reality then you are living from fear and you are giving your power away.
i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof??
Instead of trying to manifest things in order to “see proof”, just let things happen and watch yourself during the process. Start really paying attention to what you’re thinking and feeling on a daily basis. Notice that your thoughts and reactions come from a certain state of being. Notice how people act in ways that you expect them to, because “that’s just how they are”.No, it’s because that’s the concept you hold of them in your reality, and they treat you according to the concept you hold of yourself. By doing this you will start to realize the connection between what has shown up in your life so far, and the person you were identifying with within. And when I say identifying with, I don’t mean something like an affirmation such as “I’m confident”. Your identification and basically your self concept comes from your perspective, the way you see things, the way you react to things and the way you act, the thoughts you have and what you accept as true. Those will show you who you really are.
i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them
The thing with success stories is that as much as they can be motivational, the process and the factors are always the same. They succeeded because they managed to change their mindset, they entered a new reality (within), they changed their dwelling place (the state of being they return to the most) and their outer reality simply reflected that change. Their circumstances are irrelevant and the only thing setting them apart is the techniques they used and how long it took for them to actually shift their mindset and accept the new reality they wanted. Techniques are not really that relevant because they only serve to aid you into moving states. So at this point it’s really just about what works best for you.
i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong??
There’s no such thing as affirming wrong. And please take affirming off the pedestal. It’s just a technique and you don’t need to use it if it’s troubling you. Affirmations are just thoughts you would be having if you were living in the end. So their purpose is only to help make you feel like you are living in the wish fulfilled. There’s no point in affirming all day long if you keep feeling like you’re in the same old shitty reality. Again it’s the same thing I’ve been saying before. You can’t affirm for two opposite things at the same time and get the result you want. Use affirmations as much as you like but watch yourself for the rest of the time.
The reason this isn’t a trying process is because you’re not attempting to do anything to get something. You are simply being in a different way. You are changing your mind, changing your thoughts, choosing better feelings. This is a lifestyle change. If you accept the law, your entire perception changes. Nothing is ever the same as it used to be. This can be a hard pill to swallow but at some point you gotta be honest with yourself. There is no trying. There is only doing and there is only being.
i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting.
I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want
You’re exhausted because you keep going back and forth between what you want and what has shown up. You need to pick one side and stick to it. You need to dive so deep into the feeling of what you want to the point where thinking the opposite feels unnatural. I know you don’t wanna hear this but thinking you’re doing something wrong really is also getting in your way. Think about it this way: you’re in the end goal, you’re there, it’s done, you got it. Would you be thinking about ANY of this stuff if that was the case? Would you be doubting and having all these fears and looking around everyday to make sure it’s still there? We both know you wouldn’t.
You just can’t have it and wonder where it is at the same time. You have to stick to the end goal and reject anything that contradicts that.
I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me
People say manifesting is easy and fun because you’re just supposed to satisfy yourself within by giving yourself what you want. If it feels like a chore then you're not giving yourself what you really want. You are focusing on what you think you should be doing and you are also keeping yourself hostage to your unwanted circumstances. If your desires are so important to you then stop putting conditions on them, stop looking for excuses to deny yourself of them. Get drunk in the feeling and the knowing of their fulfilment. Let go of all the doubts and fears, turn your back on your senses telling you it’s not here yet. Be stubborn and stop taking no for an answer.
You’re coming from a place of: I have all these unwanted circumstances and I want to have xyz instead, but no matter what I do, things aren't changing.
If you had xyz by now, would you still be repeating the unwanted circumstances in your head? Would you be thinking about them? Would you be reacting to them? Would you be identifying with this version of yourself that can’t get what you want?
No! You would be living your life, doing the things you enjoy, your duties and responsibilities, resting in the knowledge that you got that desire. It’s a reality now. It’s part of your life. You’d be living from that perspective.
You're keeping the unwanted stuff in place by reaffirming them, by looking at it everyday and going “yep, still here!”, you’re still accepting it as true for you. You can’t keep your attention on something without getting more of it. You need to die to the unwanted reality. Never to be seen again.
I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking.
Self concept is not a technique that you do once a day. Self concept is who you are. It’s how you behave and what you think all the time, every day, all day. It's what you believe and accept as true for you in all aspects. I think this community has been breaking up the law into bits and pieces, as if there are all these separate factors and steps you need to take, and it’s done more damage than good because it’s actually literally all the same thing, it’s all connected. Once you change through the means of one aspect, the other aspects change automatically. Self concept, mental diet, states, it’s all connected, they all lead to the same destination, you. Neville uses these terms interchangeably, to get his point across in the best way he sees fit at that moment, but he’s always talking about the same thing. So bottomline is that if you “keep breaking”, then you’re still in the process of change, you’re going from one state to the other, from unwanted to wanted. Back and forth. You’re still falling for the illusion of the 3d world and you’re still feeling the pull of your old story. You need to take a stand and decide that enough is enough. No longer accept what you don’t want. You’re the only one making the choice here. No one is forcing you to stay in the unwanted mindset but your own habits and comfort zone.
I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet.
Look, there’s nothing to combat here. There’s no war going on. It’s all just you. You don’t have any blocks or limiting beliefs you need to overpower. This isn’t a good perspective to hold. You ARE the power. I fought these types of statements for a long time but I can understand it now. You need to stop focusing on limiting beliefs or blocks. Stop thinking AND believing that you have problems that are getting in your way and that you need to overcome them. By holding this perspective, you’re only going to create more problems to overcome. Remember what I’ve been saying that you’re in the end now? Are there any blocks in the end? When the wish is fulfilled? I don’t think so and neither do you! I want you to take the challenge to declare to yourself that you no longer have any limitations. It’s all gone! You’re free now! I want you to wake up everyday and before you get out of bed, you remind yourself that hey, all that stuff is gone now! Nothing to worry about anymore! How good is that?!
I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want.
You keep the faith in the unseen by believing and trusting in yourself. If you accept that you can do anything, that you deserve what you want, that you are the operant power and that everything is coming FROM you, then you know all you need is yourself. Idk it truly is a leap of faith, you need to make a choice. Do you want to live by what is outside of you, or by what’s within you? If you accept the law as true, then you have no choice but to start living by what’s within you. If you’re still sitting there thinking that your world is ruled by the circumstances outside of you then you don’t believe a tiny bit in any of this stuff. You’re truly wasting your time if you hold that perspective in place.
Okay I hope this whole essay I spent hours on helps! Now let’s get you those recs!
You can read most if not all of Neville's work for free here: https://realneville.com/
These are my current favorite Neville Based Teachers:
I am Love / Feeling Twisty (he's also on apple podcasts and spotify I believe)
Here's my own personal playlist of Neville based videos on youtube
There's a LOT of good stuff on reddit tbh, here's pretty much everything I have saved from there:
(ps.: it's good to check the comments on reddit posts because there's usually discussions happening and you can find some good pointers)
EdwardArtSupplyHands Series / Quote
ALLISMIND:
Feelings are your power
How thoughts and beliefs become reality
Overthinking
Superman's way of life
Thinking positive
Living from the Law
There's no reality
You don't believe in the Law
Nothing will change your mind
(ps.: he has A LOT of content, these are just the few I looked into)
Other posts:
Change your mind
It's Real. Success Story
Decide what you want
Self concept and personality
Self concept and self love
Letting go of control
Don't rationalize it
The state of the wish fulfilled
Checkmate 3D
Planting the seeds
Don't react
Faith and Knowledge
Slacker Manifesting
Persistence assumption
Don't complicate it
All you need is reassurance
Brazen Impudence
Manifesting is easy
Practical guide
Why circumstances don't matter
Commit to your desire
Ignore the Outside
Clarifying the Law for beginners
(ps.: These aren't 100% accurate tittles, just based on the actual tittles)
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