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weebswrites · 4 years

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The Demon Bros: Their Dark Side (combining these two asks because they have very similar energy^^)

- if anyone is interested I can write a part 2 to this where MC and the demons reconcile hehe -

Lucifer (TW: attempted physical assault (not sexual))

He’s the avatar of pride, so the event that causes him to snap is when you accidentally tell the bros about how the two of you like to unwind (rated pg)

You didn’t think it’d be a big deal, they’ve been brothers for how many thousands of years?

But Lucifer erupts, suddenly in demon form

He stands over you, roaring his hand back as if he were going to slap you

Beel stands up and intercepts Lucifer’s hand, grabbing his wrist with all his strength and saving you

You wince, falling back a bit into Asmo’s arms, and he hugs you close

“MC!!!” he yells, rage obvious in his voice

“Asmo…what did I do…” you whisper, voice quivering in fear as the love of your life just snapped and almost hit you

“I think he wanted that to stay private, he doesn’t like us to know that he relaxes…” he whispers, “Don’t feel guilty, he shouldn’t be reacting like this”

“Lucifer…” you say, standing a bit straighter and looking into his dark red eyes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

“You should have!” his voice booms, anger not subsiding at all

You look at him, eyes full of confusion and regret. You plead for him to calm down, to talk to you rationally and listen to your apologies

He growls, “The rest of you, out!” he yells, and they obey instantly. Asmo squeezing his shoulders around you quickly and Beel giving you a small smile before leaving

You ramble on for as long as he lets you about how you’re sorry and you didn’t mean to upset him

After a few minutes he cuts you off, “You didn’t upset me, you betrayed me”

His voice was cold, and without hesitation he turns and leaves the room

Mammon

You didn’t think Mammon, the avatar of Greed, would get mad about anything. You’d never heard stories about him turning into demon form, so you assumed it basically never happened

That is, until you take Levi’s side and scold him for taking more of his games and selling them

“I thought you were supposed to take my side no matter what!” he yells, two bat-like wings appearing before you

Your face gets red, and you take a step back, “Mammon…” you whisper, completely in shock

“What? You’re actually surprised that I’m pissed off right now? Humans really are idiots!”

You take a small step behind Levi, and he puts his arm in front of you, a bit of a shield from Mammon

“Mammon, calm down. They’re right and you know it, you just let your greed override your sense sometimes. Listen to your partner, they’re trying to help you” Levi defends you

“Yeah, Mammon, please. I don’t mean to insult you, I just don’t like seeing you always hurting others and stealing their things just to get money”

“I’m the avatar of greed, damnit! What do you expect?! You knew that before you started dating me, you can’t act like this now just because we’re dating”

“Mammon, I just want what’s best for you. There are better ways to get money than backstabbing your family!”

You’re definitely a bit afraid, but you’re not going to let him walk all over you

You bicker back and forth, arguing in circles before he storms off to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him

Leviathan

You’ve been hanging out with a new friend more and more, and he gets envious

You reassure him that he’s just a partner that you got assigned for a class, nothing more, but Levi can’t help but be jealous that its not him

Until one night when he asks if you can binge the new anime that came out, and you tell him that you have to meet with him to work on your project

“Why!! Why are you constantly with him, talking and laughing and working and everything!” he screams, voice cracking with emotion as he transforms into demon form

“Levi, I’ve told you it isn’t like that! The professor assigned us together, I didn’t even know him before this!” you defend yourself, exasperated with your boyfriend’s jealousy

“I don’t care!! You need to make time for me instead of him! He’s probably funnier than me, and he’s obviously handsomer than I am, you’re probably ashamed of always being seen with me so you’re trying to be with him more!”

“Levi, please. You know I love you and only you” you say, voice half caring and half irritated

“Yeah, right! See if I care, go be with your real boyfriend then, see if I care” he says, crossing his arms and exhaling aggressively

“Levi, no. I can reschedule if this is going to be a problem tonight, but he’s my partner. We have an assignment to do”

“No, go. I’ll watch the new season on my own. You probably don’t even like anime, you liar!”

“Levi!! Please, love, you know that isn’t true”

“I can’t trust you, not after this. Just go, have fun with your real boyfriend” he sneers, turning his back to you

“Fine!” you snap back, leaving his room and slamming the door behind you

Satan (18+ language)

You’re chatting about a book that’s supposed to be released sometime this year

“I heard that the ending is super cliche, the main character was unconscious the whole time or something overused like that”

“You what?!” he exclaims, transforming into demon form

“Fuck…Satan…I forgot…” you whisper, stepping a bit back as you remember how each brother took time to tell you to avoid spoilers at all. costs. with satan

“You sure as hell did!! I can’t believe you!!” he screams, running a hand through his hair in anger

“It’s probably not even true…I doubt the author would do something like that” you mutter, trying to save yourself from his wrath

“I don’t care!! There’s the chance now that that’s how it’s going to end, you know how my head works, now that’s all I’ll be able to think about while I’m reading!! Damn it!!”

He’s pacing back and forth, heat radiating off his body as he tries to control his anger

“I can’t forgive you for this” he states, voice cold

“Satan…” you whisper, stepping towards him a (tiny) bit

“Get away from me…” he scoffs

“Satan, please…I’m so sorry” you plead with him, desperate for him to forgive you, “I know how badly I messed up, I know. I would do anything to undo it, or to make you feel better. Please just forgive me”

“Anything, huh?” he retorts, smirking at you

“Yes, anything, please” you say, resisting the urge to step towards him again

“Then leave. Get out, I don’t want to look at you right now”

You feel your heart break and sink in your chest. Tears well in your eyes, but Satan stays silent, eyes unwavering at your emotions

You leave, walking slowly to your room, tears rolling down your cheeks

Asmodeus (drinking mentions)

You’re out one night at a club, dancing together and drinking (just to loosen up, not to get wasted)

You go to the bar to refill your drinks, and let a stranger hit on you, flirting back a bit until he offers to buy you a drink

You let him, because hey, a free drink is a free drink, and it’s not like Asmo hadn’t done the same thing before

Suddenly you feel a tight hand on your shoulder and you’re ripped away from the demon

Asmo drags you outside the bar, to an isolated spot beside the building

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?? Are you cheating on me??” he explodes, putting his hand against the building behind you, trapping you beneath him

“Asmo, I was just getting him to buy me a drink, I don’t even know who he is” you explain, “Why are you in demon form? It’s not like you haven’t done the same thing, you have no place to be mad”

“Excuse me?! I’m the avatar of lust, I can’t help myself from flirting with everyone, you have no excuse!” he yells, gritting his teeth

You go back and forth, him angry at you for flirting with someone else, him enraged at you for thinking he can control his urges

“Asmo, I’m always understanding of when you flirt with others, because I know it’s hard for you to control yourself. It hurts me to watch you do that, but I let you do it. I bite my tongue. I do that for you every time we go out, you should be able to let me do what you do every time at least once”

“I don’t care, I don’t want you flirting with other demons. Now let’s go, you’ve ruined the night and I want to go home”

Beelzebub

You’re snacking in the kitchen on some of his leftovers, scrolling through your D.D.D.

He walks in, “MC…”

You look up, instantly freezing when you see the anger in his eyes

“Beel…”

He erupts, “You’re eating my food!! How could you!!”

You drop it, “Beel, I’m so sorry, I thought it was okay…”

“Why, because we’re dating? That means nothing when it comes to food!”

His words hit deep in your heart, and you feel tears start to well in your eyes

All you can do is quietly apologize

“Damnit!” he yells, slamming his fist on the table hard, but not hard enough to break it

“I’ve made it so clear not to eat my food! Ever! Under any circumstances! And no one ever does!! What makes you think you’re special?”

“Beel…” your voice is quiet, “I mean…yes. I love you, Beel, I thought it would be okay…I’m sorry”

“It isn’t okay!! I’ve been looking forward to this all day and you ruined it…” he ranted, “Whatever, I’m leaving”

“Beel, no, please. Let me make it up to you” you say, getting up and chasing him out of the kitchen

But he doesn’t stop, he storms off and locks you out of his room

He’d never snapped at you before, much less turned to demon form because of something you’d done. There had been plenty of stories about Lucifer and Satan turning to demon form, and some of the other demons, but never any of Beel

You didn’t know what to do

Belphegor

He’d been sleeping more than usual, and you missed him

You knock on his door, eventually letting yourself in when he didn’t answer

“Belphie…Belphie…wake up” you whisper

He slowly wakes up, “MC…what…is everything okay?”

You reassure him that everything is okay, and that you just wanted to spend some time with him

He rubs his eyes and shakes his head a bit

Suddenly, he’s in demon form, and you have no idea what is happening

“You woke me up for that?? Because you want to spend time with me?? Ugh!!!” he yells

“Belphie…” you whisper, stepping back towards the door

“You know how much I need sleep, why would you wake me up for something as unimportant as you wanting to spend time with me!”

He’s steaming, “And don’t call me Belphie!”

You start shaking a bit, “B-Bel…Belphegor…” you whisper, feeling hurt and betrayed

“Leave!! I don’t want to spend time with the person that disturbed me!” he yells, walking towards you quickly

You flinched as he approached, not sure what he was going to do, but he just opened his door and shoved you out

He locks the door behind you, the click of the lock causing your heart to sink a bit

You place the palm of your hand against his door, “I’m sorry…” you whisper, sinking to your knees

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A/N: This got a bit general angsty, so I hope it’s okay! Thanks for the request, anon :) My inbox is open for anyone who wants to request! You can send in more than one per person, about any of the fandoms found in my post here. Love you guys <3

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me headcannon #obey me headcanon #obey me x reader #obey me reader insert #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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judyhopps934-mt-zd · 3 years

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Thoughts on Lies

Warning: Spoilers! And possibly having your heart torn into pieces. Other than that, have fun!

We open up with Marinette figuring out the recipes for the power ups as the new guardian.

I am disappointed that she still has not stopped oogooling over Adrien when he appeared on the news. Especially since she was allegedly with Luka by then. (I'll explain what I mean in just a minute)

Adrien was tired after the day he had as Adrien, which is a contrast of what Marinette believes his life is like. But being Chat Noir is the highlight of his day...

...only to not see Ladybug show up for patrols. And we see that it was all due to her figuring out the powerups.

Also, the patrols are a thing in cannon and I am still not over it after "Truth".

Chat Noir hoping for an akumatization so he can escape his civilian life radiated the same energy as Alya asking for akumatizations to interview the temporary heroes on her IG post. I get it, but still! We do not have people in danger for our needs.

Plagg being the one who announces any voice messages for Chat and asking for cheese through the feature on the Chat Phone brings me a whole other level of life.

Also, the whole milk thing at Le Grand Paris bar counter. It was hilarious, but also very sad. He really missed his m'lady

He ends the patrol after he saw Kagami training with her mom. And the smiles on his face! *Cries in Marichat and Ladynoir*

Plagg is the one that encourages Adrien to move on from Adrien, just like he applauded him from doing so in Loveater.

Kagami apparently said that fencing lessons are scheduled an hour in advance and Adrien (with that goofy grin on his face) knew what was up!

Both Ms. Tsurugi and Gabriel are very pissed at one another for the schedule change. That's hilarious, although everything comes at a price.

The parallels! Kagami is apparently learning Russian at her mother's request. Truly is a reflection of Adrien, civilian life wise.

Kagami? Lying???? The hell???? Who are you and what have you done to Kagami????? (Why am I surprised, y'all did this in Desperada)

She lies to their parents and the teacher to be in the art room with Adrien. I get it, teenage rebellion after being under an uninvolved parent, but still!

I like how the writers gave Kagami another dimension by saying she loves art, but her mom does not like her passion for drawing.

To Kagami's mom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH???!!! HER DRAWINGS BELONG IN A MUSEUM!

Also, art reflecting the truth? Hmmm.....

Since people like mentioning that Marinette has a thing for people with absent parents after "Truth", I will now say that Adrien has a thing for people who are great at drawing. I do not take criticism.

Kagami is hinting that Adrien's civilian life is not his true self (thank you for understanding him!)...

...but also says that being a "clown" (it was the Chat pose) is also not who he really is. The fandom would disagree with you. Although that brings up the question of whether both personalities merge to form who he really is and cannot be seen completely by anyone in any part of his life. But he is more like Chat Noir regardless.

Also, I want to see Adrien and Kagami spend more time together prior to this episode to see why she was not pleased with him being a clown if that's who he truly is, because her repositioning him against the wall made me feel like she is trying to place Adrien into a mold that reflects the image she might have created in her mind. (I don't know, this was just the first thought that came in my mind.)

They almost kiss, with Adrien being taken into shock (not terrified as we thought) until the alarm saying they have fencing lessons starting interrupts them and Adrien runs out, not before BLUSHING LIKE HELLO?!?!?

This is what I referred to in my second point and confirms what everyone was saying about this episode: this is "Truth", but through Adrien's perspective. Finally, an Adrien-centered episode!!!

To continue, every time Adrien and Kagami are together or were about to kiss, a sentimonster appears, with Ladybug trying to do something about it. Just like Lukanette, just like Adrigami: being a superhero affects your love life as a civilian.

Chat being thrown off the roof by accident and being rescued will never get old or less funny lol.

Montages continues up until the boat scene, where Adrien missed the intro to the performance, but I will never get over the fact as to how Adrien made it there before Marinette. It is beyond me.

Kagami not letting Adrien stay for 5 more minutes. Hmm...

Their cute moment together was what will lead to the demise of Adrigami as Kagami noticed he dropped the infamous lucky charm bracelet. *le gasp!

Why *le gasp*? Because 1) I fear it symbolizes that something will happen to Adrienette or that Adrien has forgotten about her, and 2) Wait until later.

Kagami revealed she lied so she can spend more time with Adrien alone, lying about leaving rehearsal earlier, lying about the fencing lessons rescheduling, and who else knows what else so she can be with him.

She tells him she loves him. But Adrien notices Ladybug and an Akuma. Oh boy, he wasn't able to give her any attention.

Because he left towards the direction of the boat (and said he left something there), Kagami used that to conclude it had something to do with Marinette. Oh boy.

Either I missed an entire scene about Ladybug knowing ShadowMoth's name, or we were not supposed to know how they know until this episode. It feels out of place to me, but oh well.

"I..am...AN INCREDIBLE SWIMMER!" still cracks me up even when I know how important it was in protecting her secret identity.

Happy Birthday Prince Ali!

Apparently, Kagami lied that her mom was in charge of watching over Adrien (or maybe not? I can't tell at this point.)

Yep, Kagami believes that Adrien is going after Marinette and probably resents them both if her facial expression says anything

We get to see that Ladynoir moment from "Truth"!! I love these two and their banter.

Adrienette stans, not much has changed. Adrien was concerned that he lost the Lucky Charm bracelet, for real. But said again because he though he would be clear of the lie since he thought he had it on him.

Kagami confronts him with it. AND THIS IS HIS SHOCKED FACE SCENE FROM THE TRAILER!!!

Thinking that she lies to get out of being with her, she leaves. With the bracelet. The leaving part is understandable, especially because she does not know about him being Chat Noir or what entails him to do. But why take the bracelet???

Adrien is also saddened by what happened. He also liked her.

We've never seen that part of city hall. Well designed in my opinion.

She was the akuma in City Hall with the glowing sphere! We were right!!!

Adrien feels guilty, though it is not really his fault. He has a duty to Paris!

Why is the music sounding different in French.

Jagged Stone. How do I feel about you after learning you purposefully abandoned Luka and apparently Juleka? Also, what's with the song??? (Rhetorical question. Do not answer)

We were wrong about Kagami's power: it paralyzes people who lie, not kill everything in its path.

Jagged, you abandoned your children. And you apparently lied about your age?!?!?! Both episodes show something about Jagged Stone that make him seem like an awful person on the inside.

Ladybug, how do you know about Lies's powers?!?!? There is a hole in the plot here! Unless there were other paralyzed civilians that gave her power a dead giveaway.

Chat Noir, if you lie as a civilian for whatever reason, of course Ladybug will too, since as a civilian, you need to lie to keep your secret identity a secret. Same rules apply to Ladybug, especially as the guardian.

The Lucky Charm is a drone, not a camera like I thought. How the hell did I get into an ivy if I can't tell the difference?!?!

Chat Noir pretending to lie is funny. It might also be his peppy attitude to lying. Also, his funnier version of ShadowMoth's name.

Ladybug finds the akumatized object and gasps. I wonder if its only a eureka moment or also the fact that she recognizes the bracelet, especially if its custom made.

Brutally honest people does not exist (we have all lied at some point, even Kagami who is usually brutally honest with people), but animals can't lie.

Fang being involved in destroying the akuma is cool.

This is the moment that we dreaded so much, yet knew was coming: CHAT NOIR DIES!

JK! He actually is paralyzed by truth because he jumped into the glowing orb. We were right that this is an anguishing scene to watch, but we're wrong about the part that he's killed. Yet, he still unnecessarily sacrificed himself and caused Ladybug to be angst about it.

WHAT IS UP WITH CHAT NOIR BEING HAPPY ABOUT SACRIFICING HIMSELF?!?!? AND DO NOT SAY ITS BECAUSE HE TRUSTS LADYBUG!

Yes Ladybug. Chat is crazy. And also crazy for you. And you are right about the crazy unconscious part. My Ladynoir heart!

ShadowMoth almost won until Fang bit off the charm bracelet. Thanks Fang!

Chat backing away from Fang licking him is a mood.

My favorite Ladynoir moment of the evening: Ladybug telling Chat to stop sacrificing himself and Chat saying she likes her adorable angry face. Her smirk afterwards.. And then their pound it.

But no seriously Chat. You need to stop doing that to Ladybug. She cannot take it anymore

Plagg said that even if Adrien loves someone else, he is likely to go back to Ladybug. Just like he goes back to Camembert. Seriously, despite his cheese analogies, he gives great wisdom.

Not Kagami almost beating up Adrien during his fencing lessons. And Mr. D'Angercourt notices this too as he stopped Kagami's final blow.

Also, isn't it illegal in fencing to push people? Oh boy.

And there's the Adrigami breakup scene: Adrien telling Kagami that he enjoys their time together and Kagami knowing their is sincerity in him. It is sort of unclear who actually ended things when Adrien asks if they could still be friends, but Kagami ends it all by saying that she will let him know once she can face him again. Ouch.

Adrien is hurt and stares at the lucky charm bracelet with what looks like sadness. Once again ouch.

Like Lukanette, I want to see Adrien and Kagami be happy together at least until halfway through this season. The issue is that it will hurt them more in the end.

Also, I noticed the difference between Luka and Kagami when ending their respective relationships. It hurt them both, but Kagami was more forward about it and Luka was somewhat passive. It could be based on what they know about their now exes (Luka knew that Marinette had feelings for Adrien and was not secretive about it even when they were together if the truths her friends said and the opening scene to this episode reflect this, whereas Kagami only has a suspicion and Adrien does not say anything regarding to it.

Also, I really did not like how the breakup on this end resulted in. While more realistic for a lot of people, it did not help that it involved Kagami as there are people who will go after Kagami after watching this episode, and I believe that the writers know this. Kagami is a good person who has a different response to the trust issues and lack of communication, as well as lies in their relationship. Not saying its a perfect one, but an understandable one. In conclusion, don't trash Kagami, especially if you saw this coming.

I take back what I said before; this is my favorite Ladynoir scene. I want to hug them both because they have to lie and keep secrets from everyone, even have some secrets between themselves! But at least they can trust each other! Excuse me while I cry over how much we are being fed. Also, the fact that they broke up with their respective partners makes this both heartwarming and heart breaking.

Overall, this episode is just as good as Lies! It is the first fully Adrien-centered episode, which makes this a first and already exciting. While I did not like how their breakup was handled, it was realistic and showed that honesty and communication are important. Also, can my children be happy together for longer than an episode??? I swear, their pain hurts me.

But at least Ladybug and Chat Noir have each other's company to get them through. May us Ladynoir stans continue to be fed!

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starbeyy · 3 years

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how haikyuu characters would die on the oregon trail

this is so incredibly stupid. i guess you can imagine this as them playing the game but I like to think that it’s actually the characters in the old west dying from ancient diseases. it’s funnier that way. cw: cursing, lots of death (but it’s kinda funny)

Karasuno

Hinata // died from cholera. shit himself to death. literally the least glamorous way to die when you’re traversing in search of a better life.

Kageyama // he got bit by a venomous snake but we all know he’s the kind of bitch to get bit by a zombie then not tell anyone, so he’s walking around holding his wrist and then one day he just kinda drops dead and everyones like 🤨 huh?

Tsukishima // literally a broken arm. you can die from a broken arm on the Oregon Trail. and everyone is like a little convinced that someone poisoned him to make him die quicker cause they were so tired of his bitching..

Yamaguchi // broke his leg from jumping into a lake bc he didn’t want to pay for the bathhouse; he limped too much and got run over by the cattle that was pulling his covered wagon :(

Nishinoya // died from exhaustion. he just went too hard for too long and then he tried to wrestle a gator and dropped dead literally immediately after. mad respect tho that gator had it coming ✊🏼😔

Tanaka // another tragic exhaustion loss, but it’s only because he tried to carry Kiyoko the entire way. she tried to make him just let her sit in the covered wagon, but he INSISTED on carrying her piggyback. he made a huge deal of his death but Kiyoko was just like “this could’ve been easily avoided”.

Ennoshita // poor thing was doing a great job, more than halfway there, then he got a fever. a fever put this poor mfer down. i don’t even know what to tell you he just fevered himself to death.

Asahi // he was an early loss. he didn’t want to drink any of the river water or eat any of the meat they bought from ~suspicious~ men on the trail so he eventually died from hunger and thirst. like, you gotta eat. but he simply refused.

Daichi // i genuinely think he makes it to Oregon but then, idk tries to build a barn and accidentally lets the wood frame fall on him. like everyone knows him because he braved the entire Orgeon Trail then got K.O.’d by some 2x4s. rip.

Sugawara // he got measles. like who gets measles? you get it from contaminated droplets and Sugawara just can’t figure out where he might’ve encountered those. except for when he kissed that cow that he didn’t know was dead until he got really close. genuine accident, i swear.

Nekoma

Kuroo // cholera :( he was kinda peeved about it but Kenma caught him one night writing out a bunch of possible jokes to be carved on his tombstone. they ended up just putting the piece of paper on top of his burial spot and calling it a day

Kenma // actually makes it to Oregon. no one knows how, he didn’t even really try. he’s just really good at games, I guess.

Lev // another snakebite lookin’ ass. i think he genuinely just wanted to pet the snake and didn’t think anything of it when its butt rattled. he though it was an invitation like when cats purr. his body didn’t hold up much longer once the venom ran its course.

Yaku // honestly? madness. he didn’t die so much as he tore off all his clothes and abandoned his cattle and covered wagon to run off into the prairie and start his new life as a crazy mountain man. he just shouted “you’re all fools” one day and no one’s seen him since.

Fukurodani

Bokuto // ate some bad wild fruits. it wasn’t hit fault, he was really hungry and he got too attached to his cattle and couldn’t bring himself to kill and eat him :(( but he had a nice little trippy moment before he bit the dust.

Akaashi // y’know what, I’m gonna say it, he makes it to Oregon. and he THRIVES. he builds his house and tends to his cattle. because that’s what he DESERVES.

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa // HAHA he died of typhoid. and if you think this guy didn’t make the BIGGEST deal out of his death. it was absolutely shakespearean. like he was on the brink for three whole days. and he kept giving these long speeches to each of his friends and pretending to die in the middle. then he actually died in the middle of iwaizumi’s and it was kinda awkward.

Iwaizumi // I think he makes it to Oregon, but he like loses his arm to a bout of gangrene or something crazy. like it just rotted and then fell off. and now everyone in Oregon makes fun of him for only having one arm and it’s honestly kinda pissing him off

Kyoutani // let a snake bite him, just to see if he could take it. he could not. he died very shortly after but not before he could try to suck the venom out of his own arm. it was kind of terrifying, honestly.

Yahaba // another brave soldier lost to cholera. no one knows how he caught it and he just kinda bitches about it all the time. Kyoutani pushed him out of the wagon once and he sustained some pretty nasty head trauma from that so it really sped up the process.

Matsukawa // he and Hanamaki thought it would be funny to eat literally any mushroom they came across. obviously this worked against them at some point and they both started dying horrible deaths.

Hanamaki // basically when he and Mattsun were on their deathbeads, they gave an engraving on a piece of wood for both of them to be put at the gravesites bc obviously they’re gonna be buried together. it isn’t until they’re six feet under and the pieces of wood have been stuck into the ground that the group looks really closely and sees that the pieces go together to spell “PENIS”. classic.

Shiratorizawa

Ushijima // listen he just looks like the kinda guy to catch typhoid. but he doesn’t tell anyone that he doesn’t feel well, he just kinda coughs on the low and wipes the blood from the crook of his elbow. when he finally dies, everyone just kinda looks behind them and is like “where’s wakatoshi?🤔”. he’s dead, ya’ll, like four miles back.

Tendou // i’m sorry he’s got that sickly victorian child look you know he was one of the first to contract something deadly. i think he like caught multiple diseases. he was collecting them like pokemon: diptheria, dysentery, typhoid, you name it. the worst thing about him dying on the trail was the fact that his body couldn’t be donated to science. no one had any clue how he lived so long with so many ailments coursing through him.

Goshiki // he broke his arm. he BROKE his ARM and then DIED. yes, that can literally happen in the game do not ask me how. there was no foul play, no overexertion, he just 💀. sorry, buddy.

Inarizaki

Atsumu // he drowned. you wanna know how?

Osamu // drowned while wrestling Atsumu. it was a friendly quarrel turned nasty fight as they rolled into the gross river water. everyone kinda stood around and watched but they couldn’t tell when the flailing limbs were cries for help rather than thrown punches. swallowed too much water. guess it’s better than contracting double-cholera with your twin brother.

Kita // exhaustion. this boy doesn’t stop walking. everyone is begging him to set up camp or lay in the covered wagon for a little while but he refuses, he just wants to keep walking. yeah he eventually just drops dead and everyone’s actually pretty sad about it.

Suna // the kind of bitch to fake diptheria. he acts all achey and feverish and says he just HAS to stay in the covered wagon. he says he can’t fish or hunt or do anything and then when someone actually catches diptheria, he’s forced out of the wagon bc he doesn’t wanna catch it. he does anyways. good riddance.

Aran // yeah he was the one who gave Suna diptheria. he didn’t mean to get it, but it was a little bit satisfying to watch Suna cringe as Aran gave him a big hug and called them “diptheria buddies”. they had a nice little double grave though <3.

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probably-writing-x · 4 years

Text

Provoked.

Guzmán x Reader

Request by @parkerschurros : Hi! I love your writing sm. If you are still taking requests could you do a guzman and female reader sort of enemies to lovers kinda thing where they’re sort of sassy to each other but it’s just jealousy/sexual tension and one of them catches the other flirting with someone else as a party and everything just comes out. Thank you so much!

- - - - - -

“You’re never going to win, Guzmán,” You roll your eyes, throwing another ball and sinking it into one of the half filled cups of beer.

“Don’t you remember what happened last time?” He cocks a brow, gulping the drink in one.

You let out a laugh, “You cheated, that’s enough to make you think you’ll win?”

“Enough for me to know I distract you,” He shoots a wink in your direction before throwing another of the balls and landing it on your side.

You and Guzmán had known each other for all of a few years and the entirety of that time had been filled with irritation, anger and arguing. He annoyed you more than anyone you’d ever met. From arguing in class, yelling at parties, prancing each other - you’d never ceased to stop that continuous battle that had never really had an obvious cause.

“Okay honey, I have places to be,” You smirk, landing the ball in the last cup on his side and finally ending this far too competitive game of beer pong.

“Cheers, love,” He grins, raising the cup in your direction before downing the drink.

You roll your eyes and head back away from him and into the crowd of people that had built around the party. Samuel was hosting and the cramped flat made it near impossible to stay away from Guzmán for too long.

“Hey (Y/n),” Omar smiles when he sees you, he was leaning against one of the kitchen counters with Ander beside him, “You look great by the way.”

“Thanks,” You grin, “As long as Guzmán doesn’t spill any drinks on me tonight, I should stay that way.”

Ander lets out laugh, “You guys are seriously impossible at this point, why do you hate him so much?”

You glance over to where his attention was focused on a girl you hadn’t met before. She was petite with bold features, slim and a fair bit smaller than him. Her brunette hair fell in formed curls around her shoulders and she shot him a smirk that told you she probably had intentions tonight.

“I don’t know,” You mumble in response to Ander’s question, thinking way back to the first time you’d ever met Guzmán.

- - - - - -

“With her times Guzman, she’s fast enough to beat you. If you seriously want to take on swimming competitively, you need someone to fight against. (Y/n)’s good enough for that and I won’t listen to you complain about it anymore,” His swim coach explains, grabbing his things from the side and walking out of poolside.

Guzmán grabs his towel from the bench and drags it over his face, “So what are you? Just here to prove to me that I’m a shit swimmer?”

“I’m just here to keep my scholarship,” You shrug, “I don’t particularly care if you’re a good swimmer or not.”

“Scholarship?” He scoffs, “So you’re just trying to keep up your image of being a Las Encinas kid? You’re like the rest of them?”

“I’m not like anyone. You trust fund babies wouldn’t know how to distinguish a poor kid from another one though, would you?”

“Watch yourself, (Y/n), okay?” He shakes the towel through his hair, “This place will eat you alive with an attitude like that.”

“I didn’t need your advice, Guzmán.”

“We’ll see about that, love.”

- - - - - -

“Maybe she doesn’t really hate him,” Omar nudges Ander and they both raise their brows at you knowingly.

“Oh relax,” You roll your eyes, “We’re not going through this again, we all know what happened with Lu.”

“Ahh you mean when she realised her boyfriend cared more about annoying you instead of being with her? When she started picking up on how he watched everything you did instead of focusing on a word that she said?” Omar laughs, “You’re telling me that’s equivalent to hating someone?”

- - - - - -

“Guzmán you’re late,” The professor points out the obvious as Guzmán strolls into the classroom, his hair still damp from the pool.

He takes the seat in front of you and you can’t help yourself when the opportunity is there.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure if you keep practising you’ll be matching my times soon.”

“You think I can’t beat you?” He turns around and focuses on you, yet to even pay attention to his so-called girlfriend sat beside him.

“You think you can?”

“Don’t pay attention to her, darling,” Lu brushes the lapels of his jacket and tries to turn him towards her, “She’s just trying to keep hold of that scholarship for all it’s worth.”

“If I beat you by the end of this year, you finally let me take you to the club with me. If not, and you somehow win, it’s your call, love.”

“Why are you so obsessed with getting me to the club?”

“There’s something so tragic about watching the princess lose her crown when the opportunity presents itself.”

- - - - - -

Your eyes fall back to Guzmán who’s still chatting away to the girl who’d taken his fancy. You’d spent years with a seething annoyance towards everything that boy did. From everything he said to everything he did - it’s like the two of you met each other for the sole purpose of finding someone who you despised.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in your veins but you find yourself thinking back to some different times with Guzmán. The boy had always encouraged you to be your best - never letting you get away with less. And, when it wasn’t him you were competing against, that boy was damn supportive.

- - - - - -

“Aiming for a personal best today, (Y/n)?” Guzmán calls as he walks along poolside.

It was a termly swim gala today and you were competing in the majority of races. You hated how it was split into females and males. Lord knows if you got the chance to swim against Guzmán at a time like this, you two would both put in excess effort to make sure you didn’t lose the crown.

“Aiming to beat your time,” You shrug, shaking out your limbs as you walk towards the podiums to start.

“Good luck, Princess. Don’t let that crown slip too far.”

Lu glared at you from her position on the podium only directly next to you, “Guzmán, aren’t you going to wish me luck?”

He tears his eyes away from his opponent to look at her for a split second, “Good luck, Lu.”

“I don’t know what he sees in you,” She mutters under her breath, evidently recognising the demise in her supposedly perfect relationship.

“He doesn’t see anything. I’m just competition.”

Maybe you don’t even believe it. Why did you two put so much emphasis onto each other instead of anyone else? Especially when he was in a relationship. When was the last time he focused that much attention onto Lu?

When the gun sounds, you dive in and it instantly feels like an instinct. You become completely unaware of everyone and everything around you. Though, when you breach the water, you find yourself focusing in on a specific voice above the rest.

“Go on (Y/n)!”

And that tone, normally so cocky and irritating, gives you that push to go just a little bit faster, push a little bit harder. Right until you touch the wall on your last length.

As you pop up out of the water and tread on the surface, Guzmán is instantly crouching on the side in front of you, grinning with some level of pride.

“Personal best!” He beams, “You’re really set on beating me, huh?”

“I’m set on staying well away from your so-called fun at the club.”

He laughs and shakes his head at you, clasping your hand like he would do to one of the boys, “Good job, (Y/n).”

- - - - - -

“Fuck,” You weren’t really sure at what point you’d decided to start walking towards Guzmán with evident intent.

You weren’t even sure when you’d left Ander and Omar. But here you were. Making a direct like towards Guzmán across the length of Samuel’s flat.

“Guzmán, can I speak to you?” You say, not caring about any of the words this other girl was saying to him.

He looks at you with a look between a frown and a smirk, “Is there a problem?”

“Guzmán.”

He glances toward the girl and doesn’t care to say anything more as he follows after you to wherever you were leading him.

And somehow, you find yourself in the only empty room here. The bathroom.

“Is this where you try to kill me o-“

“I fucking hate you Guzmán.”

His face falls slightly, “Is that what you brought me in here for? Because I was having a nice conversation with... well I can’t remember her name but she seemed nice.”

“You’re infuriating!” You exclaim, “You literally make my blood boil, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so irritating!”

“You’re hardly easy to deal with either, love,” He was getting defensive.

Sure, the two of you hated each other. But you’d never explicitly said it like this.

“And yet somehow, you’re the only reason I’m where I am. You force me to get up out of bed in the morning and train so I’m not falling behind. You make me keep my wits about myself and not let people take advantage of me. You make me say what I think and you provoke me beyond belief so I have to force myself to keep composure.”

He swallows the lump in his throat. This could go one of two ways and he was sure of the outcome that he wanted.

“You make me feel...something. Beyond high school drama and Las Encinas, you make me want to do better. And I hate you for it.”

“It’s your fault, you know?” He scoffs, “You’re the reason for all of that. I was cruising along just fine at school until you came along, I was the best swimmer on the team, I had Lu, I had everything. And then this scholarship kid shows up who’s faster than me, smarter than me, funnier than me, wittier than me. And all of a sudden, it felt like everything crashed and I just had to focus on her.”

It’s you that’s stumped now.

“Yeah, I might piss you off and wind you up and make jokes and shit,” He continues, “But it’s only because I fucking hate that you made everything in my life turn on its head. And, somehow, beyond all of that, you’re still this genuinely good, caring, conscious person. And it infuriates me because I don’t understand how someone can have all of... that.”

“Looks like we’re both to blame for each other’s demise then.”

“Something like that,” He scoffs, glancing down at his feet.

“I fucking hate you, Guzmán,” You let out those final words before you grab at his shirt and push him against the wall, uncertain as to what any sort of reaction from here would be.

He stumbles at first, mentally too, as he tries to muster any composure he had left in him.

“Always so competitive,” He mumbles, flipping you around so you’re now pressed against the hard brick and he looms over you.

“You told me if I beat your time, it was my call.”

“Then, what is your call, love?”

With that, your lips crash against his in a twisted battle for dominance, both of you not wanting to give in so quickly. It’s messy and your hands aren’t really sure where to go or where to be. But it works. It’s like every single neurone in your body fires at once and you’re electrified by a madness that lasts longer than any argument between you two.

His hands are all over your back as yours move into his hair until you’re both losing any power in your lungs. He pulls away, chest rising and falling in time with your own.

“That was your fault, love.”

You hum in response, “I didn’t hear any complaints.”

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mc-slowwalker · 3 years

Note

MULLET MULLET MULLET YES

philza being 100000 years old is something I can get behind tbh. my least favourite age hc, which I think I actually hate with a burning passion, is the tommy and tubbo were 9 during the first l’manberg wartime actually ignites a visceral rage in me

yeah!! I managed to make it to pink’s bedwars stream the other day and it was great. yeah lol I was lowkey upset too when foolish was added cause I had no idea who he was but he’s super fun so that’s cool! I like high energy stream more too cause I zone out super easily. unless it’s dream, he can stream anything and I’ll try my hardest to pay attention the whole time

ooooh vet that’s cool. oh my god c!dream going into the dentist after months in prison😭😭😭 I’m imagining c!techno as a beefy pig sitting in the kind of small couch/seats we have in the waiting room. Tommy would 100% bite and then get really mad about getting a toy that we give to little kids after their treatment lol

omg the pet wars 😔😔😔 so sad. everyone in the dsmp is emotionally attached to their animals than anything else and what can I say, I’m the same

oh yeah I also tend to take c!dream criticism to heart more idk why. I’m definitely way more defensive of c!dream apologists than any other they get so much unnecessary shit. though from your other anons it looks like c!sam apologists are getting more shit too which sucks but solidarity ig. oh man I get you I have to tell myself to like take a step back and not take everything so personally. another thing on twitter is that people who vehemently hate c!dream will sometimes just refuse to use /dsmp /roleplay tags like it’s not that hard, tweets without that have already been misinterpreted to hate on cc!dream which just pisses me off like you can have your shit opinion just tag it properly. and like when people tell them to include it they’ll be like “ohh the dream apologists harassed me.” and yeah people genuinely go around calling c!dream apologists abuse apologists and it’s terrible. like I don’t care if you have your bad takes and aren’t willing to discuss them, just tag it properly and don’t shit on c!dream apologists it’s not that hard. though it’s funny the other day, the first time I replied to some shut take on twitter, in a lighthearted manner too, I got instantly blocked and there’s this on person on twt, they’re also on tumblr, that blocks anyone that even slightly disagrees with them. oh well ig

also did you see about that lore that foolish did? it was certainly something

sorry for the late and shorter reply I got halfway through writing this then went to do something then just fell asleep and I just got a notification that ponk is live! and I’m awake so Imma go watch them

Jack Mulletfold I’m on my jack manifold mullet truther arc

The 9 year old thing was bad and I also hated the c!dream was 13 during the l’manburg war thing too like no this is all so much funnier if they are the ages that they are now. And like father like son fundy tried to set a timeline up too (his it’s been a year comment) like no dude stop time doesn’t exist unless it’s real world

With watching streams I’m the exact same way but I usually tune into quackity and tommy’s chill streams as well. I think it’s because I know them enough to care about what they’re saying so the lack of mental stimulation is made up for by my want to care

Wait fuck with the dentist thing would c!techno actually have to go to a vet instead because of anatomy stuff or-

C!Dream is probably missing a few teeth and after not brushing so long ugh

I would joke that c!sapnap’s done nothing wrong but I haven’t forgiven him for henry

I simply don’t user twitter I tried to post a shit post but I don’t understand the tagging system so it flopped. Stopped using it there and then. say what you want about me but you guys gotta know that I’m a petty bitch first and foremost. With the “harassment” stuff I’ve had my fair share of sending anons asking people to tag stuff right and half the time they just say why and then don’t do it. You wanna know why? Please thats why. I have a real issue with the abuse apologist stuff because like bro that’s a serious accusation and it’s overall just seems super inappropriate. It usually doesn’t get to me but if I’m in the wrong mood it can really fuck me up. When cc!wilbur said that every character was morally gray and that c!dream apologists were right & wrong about somethings I was kinda like “oh thank god a streamer I like doesn’t hate me for liking c!dream” and was hella embarrassed that I even let it get me that far skdhfk. Oh yeah about people blocking you there are so many people who have me blocked on here and while I totally encourage using your block button liberally and often I still notice and its like aw man… creeper…… so we back in the mines…….

You’re gonna have to be a little more specific I feel lije foolish has done a lot of lore, though I think I’ve missed most of it. Are you talking about truing to break into the prison? Hilarious that every character despite their opinion on c!dream has at one point attempted to break into the prison. If only c!dream knew that the only common enemy the server needed was a building they were supposed to stay out of

dont say sorry that’s illegal (/j) also the thing I like about anon is that you can come back and respond when ever is best for you? Makes me feel like an old western bar tender who is just vibing. That’s the dream social interaction tbh

#anon #ask #long post #ponk tired from the first vaccine #phizer buddies though #also how they promounced ohio is a+ I think we should all pronounce it that way from now on

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knives-out20 · 4 years

Text

Before You Go - Cliff Booth x Male!OC

Fandom: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)

Pairing: Bobby Brightside (OC) x Cliff Booth

Warnings: Suicide, Bobby talks to god but the one that isn’t Cliff and the one he doesn’t believe is in the sky, Slight religious trauma, Abuse flashbacks, R@pe flashbacks, Bobby just not acting like himself, Sad Bobby ig people don’t like that, Parallels, Crying Cliff (a huge TW),

Notes: Based off of Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi. Slight Brokeback Mountain references. Enjoy!

“Reality sucks.”

Bobby lay on the rooftop of one of the highest buildings in Hollywood. In the dead of night, he fell by the wayside of every thought he was used to having when by himself.”I hate you” Bobby whispered, more to himself than anyone else in a long time; he knew he wasn’t just kidding himself at this point. He hummed for a moment- but what about Cliff, Aria, MJ, Sharon, Joseph, Rick, Calvin and Amelia? Bobby shrugged the thought away, his every moment with them, they were sure to replace.

Cliff. Cliff moved onto Bobby from Billie just fine, surely he has enough strength in him to do it again? Much more strength that Bobby ever had, believe it or not. Cliff didn’t deserve Bobby, he deserved so much better, everything Bobby ever thought that he knew he was. Time could heal Cliff of what Bobby was about to do quicker than it ever healed anything Bobby had to go through.

Cliff. The same Cliff who forced himself to play whatever genre of rock the Stones fit into, because he knew Bobby liked it. Sure, it was nice of him, but it made Cliff play music he didn’t like in his own car, and that didn’t make Bobby feel so good, the more he thought about it. Cliff already has enough on his plate, Bobby sighed as he only thought about it.

Cliff. Short for Cliff Booth, not Clifford, or Clifton, Bobby remembers Cliff telling him that it’s just ‘Cliff’. It was sort of humorous, because at least ‘Bobby’ was short for something. Even funnier because Bobby’s shorter than Cliff in general. By an inch or not, Cliff always teased Bobby about it.

Cliff. The exact Cliff whose every moment Bobby currently played in his head: every moment he ever had with Cliff. When they first met, their first time sleeping together, their first date, their first kiss as a couple, their first “I love you”s (Bobby drew the conclusion every “I love you” Cliff gave him was empty), the first time they called each other a nickname of adoration. Every single interaction the two ever had replayed in Bobby’s head, as he nitpicked his every movement.

Cliff. The Cliff with shaggy blond hair, soft blue eyes, a perfect nose, muscled arms, a scarred torso, toned legs, and welcoming lips. An endearing laugh, annoying jokes, messy driving, yet rhythm in his every movement. All Bobby could think of now was the inevitable look of relief on Cliff’s face once he finds out what Bobby was about to do.

Cliff. The same one who Bobby, among others, began to distance himself from. Little by little by little, Bobby drew himself to a safe enough of a distance in order to hurt himself the least for soon leaving Cliff. Again, he was sure Cliff could easily move onto another lover. Would he and Cliff had been better enough by now if Bobby let his extra walls come down, the ones Cliff was sure he tore down? Bobby guesses he’ll never know.

Cliff. The only Cliff- or man, in general- Bobby could bet his life on actually, truly, madly, deeply fell so in love with, it was unbelievable; unimaginable, even. Cliff was better off finding a copy of that love after Bobby, Bobby was sure of that.

Bobby stood up, and looked over the ledge, down at the alleyway he murdered Billie in. He forced out a giggle; this alleyway is just the Kill Cliff’s Lovers Corner, huh? With Bobby being responsible for both killings, that sure was funny. A blank grin slid onto his lips, a forced one. Smile even in the face of death, Bobby was told he’s reminded people of that quote quite a lot.

Bobby figured he had smiled in the face of death many times in the past. Each time he smiled at a pointless protest, riot, or rally, he was sure he was smiling in the face of death. Bobby was sure he’d die in each event. He wondered why he even bothered; he’s been to billions of them, and nothing has changed since he was a kid. What a waste of time.”I hate you” Bobby repeated, pointing his thumb at himself. He felt the cool breeze tangle itself into his dark hair, the same strands he remembers his parents tugging before they mercilessly beat him on countless events. Bobby now knows he deserved every hit he took. He looked down at the pavement, sure he had been asking for it- just like he had been asking for those two times men took advantage of him in the past.

Bobby thought about if he had anything else to do before he had to go...No, not that he knows of. He could practically feel the blood pumping through his veins, like troubled water running cold. It’d all be over soon, at least he had that one thought of comfort. Bobby gulped, taking a step away from the ledge. He realized what he did, and furrowed his eyebrows in frustration.”I hate you” Bobby mumbled once again, stepping back up. He took a long, deep breath, looking up at the sky.”I hate you too, big guy.”

Bobby figured this was the first time he had ‘talked to god’ after completely kicking the concept of its existence out of his mind. From the moment he met Cliff, he had been sure as all hell that if there was any God, Cliff was it. He remembers being laughed off whenever he called Cliff ‘God’, as if it was a recurrent joke. Bobby felt confused at this, because he never called Cliff ‘God’ as a joke- he was being dead serious, each and every time. Cliff Booth is God, a God among men, and apparently only Bobby knew that each time Cliff’s feet hit the ground as he walked, each time Cliff’s ribs vibrated when he laughed, each time Cliff said any word in the English lexicon, apparently only Bobby picked up on the fact that Cliff Booth is a deity worth worshiping. Too bad he couldn’t worship Cliff for any longer.

“You happy now?” He asked, eyes on the night sky.”You beat me up, beat me down, beat me left, right, sideways, upside, right-side-up, and even backwards, and it’s led me to here. Piece of shit, if I land up in the sky, I’m swinging at you, first” Bobby growled.”You took everything in my entire life that made me happy- or was supposed to make me happy- and twisted it into doing the exact fucking opposite, and look where we are, fella. This is so on you, right now” he carried on.”Don’t even act like you haven’t seen me in this position before- you KNOW I’ve tried before. But I’m going through with it this time, see?” Bobby laughed, the laughter dying down when Cliff popped into his head once again.

Cliff. The same Cliff that Bobby felt he was leaving behind for the better.

He sighed.”Now go! Save him!” Bobby called, referencing to Cliff.”Go! Save Cliff! Save him in the ways you couldn’t have been fucking bothered to save me, okay? Save Cliff!” He reached an arm up, hand grasping to somehow hold the moon.

Bobby was brought back to the time he lay in a grassy field with Cliff; Cliff had an arm outstretched, eyes on the moon he was pointing at. But Bobby was looking at Cliff’s hand.

“Take him to the moon for me, okay?” His face softened out of pure love, sadness written over his lips due to the fact he had to leave the one person who managed to make him so happy, just from the sight of him.

”Goodbye, Cliff” Bobby bade him farewell, stretching out his arms like he was on a cross. He inched closer to the ledge, slowly closing his eyes when tears made his vision blurry. Bobby leaned forward, falling from the roof as he heard one last thing.

“BOBBY!”

***

Cliff awoke in a jolt, blue eyes darting around the ceiling of his bedroom in his trailer. He groaned, slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Cliff remembered last night in spare blurs; his car racing down the dark streets as usual, cut to him drinking bottle after bottle. The same ones scattered around his bedroom floor. Cliff forced himself out of bed, glancing at the clock.

He had slept the day away. Shit. Bobby must be pissed as hell.

Cliff also remembered something, but not about last night; he was late from picking Rick up from that movie set.”Fuck-” he swore, grabbing his jean jacket and shrugging it on. Cliff rushed out his bedroom and out the front door, bidding Brandy a quick “goodbye.”

He hopped into his car, starting it up and racing over to the street.

Cliff passed by people huddled around an alleyway, but had no time to let curiosity get the best of him tonight. He skid to a stop, where he looked out his passenger side window to a worried Rick.”Hi” Cliff smiled sheepishly, reaching over to unlock the front door.

Rick raised an eyebrow, cautiously getting in and shutting the door behind himself.”Hey.”

Cliff started driving again, in the same comfortable silence he was used to having with Rick. But he enjoyed comfortable silence with Bobby, more. Cliff figured he should drive straight to Bobby’s afterwards, and find some way to apologize for not being heard from for the whole day. He smiled to himself; Cliff loves Bobby so much, it doesn’t even make sense to live without him.

Rick glanced over at Cliff. Should he say something...? No, it’s best to leave Cliff alone. Maybe this is how he grieves.

Cliff pulled into Rick’s driveway, setting his car in park.

Rick shook his head, he had to say something.”You, uh...You alright, Cliff?”

Cliff furrowed his eyebrows, meeting Rick’s gaze.”Oh, right- sorry I was late, man. I slept through the entire day, it’s so weird.”

Rick glanced away in confusion.”No, that- that- that’s fine, but like...are you- are you okay? Are you handlin’ well?”

Cliff blinked slowly.”Handling what well?”

Rick’s eyebrows jumped.”Do you-? Not know, or- or remember?”

“Know or remember what? Speed this up, Rick, I gotta go visit Bobby at his place.”

“Cliff, Bobby committed suicide last night.”

Cliff opened his mouth to say something, but it was moreover in shock.”Wh-...huh-?”

“Yea, do you- do you not remember? His body was in that alleyway by that- that cheap cinema Sharon likes going to.”

The same alleyway Cliff made the mistake of rushing past, earlier.”What-?”

Rick slowly got out the car, closing the door.”Cliff, buddy, you-”

But Cliff already raced away. He didn’t want Rick to see him start to cry.

***

Cliff stood with his friends in the cemetery, huddled around a black granite gravestone that reached to around his knees. He stood directly in front of it, a fresh mound of dirt touching the toes of his dress shoes.

‘BRIGHTSIDE’ it read, carved in a huge font, including Bobby’s birth year, a dash, then his death year, AKA the current year. Under both of these, it read ‘Smiled in the face of death’

Cliff’s lips broke into a small, sad smile. If he had a dollar for every time someone said Bobby was the personification of this quote, he’d probably be as rich as Bobby was.

Cliff glanced to his right, where Sharon, MJ, and Joseph lined up. He inhaled sharply, hating to see Sharon cry; or any of Bobby’s and his friends cry, really. To his left, stood Rick, Aria, and their two kids, Calvin and Amelia, fast asleep in a stroller. He glanced around at the other people who had bothered to gather; Bruce Lee, Jay Sebring, James Stacy, Sharon’s husband Roman, Wayne Maunder, Bobby’s band mates and his other buddies, among others. Cliff wondered if Bobby would have liked the turnout, as he slowly knelt down to place a bouquet over the grave- a bouquet made out of the extremely specific types of flowers that Bobby liked. He had it memorized like the back of his calloused hand.

Cliff kept wondering as people slowly began to trudge away, fewer and fewer and people staying around until it was just him by himself, still standing. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Rick.

“You- You, uh, gonna be okay, buddy?”

Cliff caught the worrisome look in Rick’s eyes. He nodded sternly.”Just...give me a moment alone with him, could you?”

Rick nodded respectively, disappearing in a flash.

Cliff fixed his tie, looking down at the grave through his usual sunglasses, the ones Bobby loved so much. He sighed silently.”You left early.” Cliff cracked a forced smile, one that didn’t last long.”Was there something I could’ve said to make you feel any better, to- to steer you away from...this?” He weakly gestured down at the ground, where Bobby lay, just six feet under. Cliff gulped thickly.”If only I’d have known you had your own storm to weather, beyond everything you’ve ever told me.”

Cliff thought back to each and every time Bobby opened up to him, and replayed his own every reaction, every movement. Maybe something he did made it seem like he didn’t care? He grunted softly; Cliff cares more than anything, especially when it comes to Bobby.

“Was- Was there something I could’ve said to...make you stop hurting, the way you did?” Cliff asked, as if expecting Bobby’s ghost to appear and answer him. He wiped the first tear he felt, unaware of the many that were to follow.”Bobby, it kills me how your mind could make you feel so fucking worthless. You’re worth so much to me. More than any amount of money, any car, any movie, any amount of fame. You’re practically priceless, baby, you didn’t- you didn’t deserve me, you deserved someone more in- in-tune to your liking, and your ways. I’m just some creepy stunt double who’s aging out of Hollywood...” Cliff looked straight down, breath shaky.

Obvious silence from Bobby’s end.

“Would we have been better off by now, if I had let my own walls come down?” Cliff asked, pushing his sunglasses up. He obviously had walls of his own, ones he spent his entire life building. Ones he was sure Bobby pushed aside like a glass door, but, he guesses not.”I guess we’ll never know, huh?”

Literal crickets.

Cliff, for once, hated this silence he had with Bobby. He got down on one knee, softly placing a hand over the pile of dirt he watched get shoveled over Bobby’s casket. Cliff’s fingers padded the brown earth.”I’ll miss you, buddy, there’s no denying that. I guess the Big Man himself has it out for me, if he even exists. You seriously had no right to keep comparing me to ‘im, baby, c’mon” he chuckled softly, a genuine smile crawling over his feature. Cliff loves Bobby, and he was gifted with the knowledge that that love was far from ever dying down.”You kept on treating me like how I never thought I deserved to be treated like, it was- it was strange, but I love you for it. Getting used to it was fun. Getting used to you was amazing. Getting used to the lack of you...will obviously be the exact opposite. Especially for Brandy, she always loved you like you were another me.”

Cliff looked down at his suit- this wasn’t the situation he wanted to be wearing a suit around Bobby, in. Quite the opposite, down to the setting and the mood. And the empty ring finger.

Cliff took off his sunglasses, folding the temples.”Here, sweetheart...” He whispered, placing it on the grave, so that its lenses were facing him, but its back leaned against the black granite headstone.”Y-You always look better in them than I- I ever did” Cliff stuttered, rushing to stand back up. He wiped his teary eyes, keeping the dirt on his knee. Cliff sniffled, racking his brain for a witty one-liner, or some final line at the end of the script of the movie Bobby and him had lived through.”You always knew how to render me speechless, huh, baby?” He rhetorically asked Bobby.

Bobby. The exact Bobby that Cliff had to somehow move on from, if he could even move on, at all. He was certain he’d be stuck on Bobby for a long time, like a puzzle he put so much time, effort, love, care, and emotion into. A puzzle that was way too grand for Cliff to even begin to be worthy of. Bobby’s everything Cliff could ever love in anyone, and now he’s gone, just like that. And now Cliff’s expected to move on, somehow? Impossible, no doubt about it.

Bobby. The same Bobby who breathed The Rolling Stones in like their music was air, or like Mick Jagger’s voice was a good blunt. Cliff remembers how time after time again, he’d play the Stones in his car. He knew how much Bobby loved them, after all. Cliff reminisced on how Jagger slowly started to grow on him over time, he started to actually like the Stones. He would play The Rolling Stones during car rides Bobby wasn’t even a part of, or car rides Cliff would take by himself. They weren’t that bad, really. And now Cliff can’t listen to them without falling into immense pain, because it’ll just remind him of Bobby.

Bobby. Short for Robert Duncan Brightside. Cliff would often catch himself thinking that, if him and Bobby were to ever illegally get married, Bobby’s initials wouldn’t change. Same goes for if Cliff were to somehow take Bobby’s last name. He was sad to know that this would only remain a fantasy, now.

Bobby. The same Bobby who was currently marching around Cliff’s head like at a protest, his every word playing on repeat in Cliff’s mind like a broken record. Cliff thought of every first Bobby and him ever had, along with their every last. Their last meeting, their last time sleeping together, their last date, their last kiss, their last “I love you”s (every single time Cliff told this set of words to Bobby, he meant it with ever ounce of his being), the last time they called each other a loving nickname. He remembered every moment he had with Bobby, and mentally beat himself up over every single thing he did in those times that could’ve made it seem to Bobby that he didn’t love him, that he didn’t care. Because Cliff did love Bobby, he still does, he still cares, more than anything. He knew it’s his fault that Bobby couldn’t see that.

Bobby. The Bobby with the tousled brown hair, deep brown eyes, a button nose, lean arms, narrow torso, fast-paced legs, and sweet lips. A playful laugh, dad-like jokes, stone-cold denial of ever sitting behind the wheel, and a pep in his every action. All Cliff found himself thinking of now was how much he was going to miss every little thing that made Bobby, well, Bobby. And how much it’ll hurt him, how he’s never going to see any of it, ever again.

Bobby. The exact same Bobby who was loud-mouthed, and very open with how he felt on any topic ever brought up in a conversation. Cliff would always admire how open-minded Bobby was, and how unafraid he was to say how he feels, and fight for what he believed in; for what was right. It was slow work, but each protest, riot, and rally Bobby formed or attended made positive change extremely inevitable. Bobby never distanced himself from a challenge, or a good fight, if it meant going for what’s right, and what he loves. Bobby loved Cliff, but Cliff wondered what it was that made Bobby distance himself from him.

Bobby. The only Bobby- and person, actually- Cliff swore his entire life on being the only person he has ever really fell in love with. Just the way he loves Bobby is unfathomable, it’ll never be ‘loved’, it’ll never be in past-tense. It’ll always be love, and loves. Cliff is in love with Bobby. Cliff loves Bobby. He knew this, so damn well it’ll hurt like a bullet through the heart.

Cliff got shoved back into reality, finding himself on his knees over Bobby’s grave, tears hitting the fresh dirt.”I’m gonna m-miss you so fucking much, I’ll hardly st-stand it” he choked, arms shaking slightly. When Cliff only ever found himself hurting under the surface, this was one way he never saw the cork exploding at, letting his emotions loose like troubled water spraying out of a pipe.”You’ll have no- no fucking idea how b-bad it’ll get, Bobby-” he sobbed, hunched over the dirt as stray tears stained the collar of his white button-up.”I wish I- I knew how to f-fucking quit you, baby, r-really, Jesus f-fuck-” Cliff cried, hands balling into tight fists.

From afar, Rick watched from his car. He exhaled quickly, going to get out.

Aria put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.”Leave him, baby. Give- Give him a bit of time” she instructed, clenching her jaw.

Rick looked back down at Aria, finally nodding. He sniffled, slouching back down.

Cliff continued to cry, his waterworks reaching the stems of the flowers wrapped in his bouquet. He used to compare holding Bobby like someone holding a bouquet of bright, beautiful flowers. Cliff grit his teeth in poor efforts to stifle himself, slapping a hand over his watery eyes; of course it was Bobby Brightside of all people who was able to make Cliff Booth cry.

Bobby. The same Bobby that Cliff could never leave behind.

Cliff wobbled as he slowly got up, wiping his eyes, then his nose, on his sleeve. He sniffled, blinked back any loose tears. Cliff wiped his eyes again, until his vision became crystal clear. His blue eyes trailed up from his bouquet, over the rectangle of dirt, onto his sunglasses, until he re-read the words on Bobby’s headstone. Black granite, up to Cliff’s knees. Cliff quickly leaned in, patting the top of the headstone and pulling away just as fast. He can’t recall the last time he was in this much pain, no stunt ever even had him hurting like this. Cliff gulped the lump in his throat away, inhaling shakily. He slowly licked his lips, tasting a couple salty tears.“I love you, Bobby. Believe it or not, I’ll never stop. I’ll- I’ll love you like it’s my air, Bobby. An addiction that I’ll never fucking get over...” Cliff slowly stepped away from the grave, not ever wanting to leave Bobby here, but he had to say one last thing before he left.

”I love you, Bobby. See you again soon.”

#ouatih oc #cliff booth x oc #cliff booth x male!oc #cliff booth x male #Cliff Booth #OUATIH #male oc #oc #male x male #male x oc #male x canon #oc x canon #oc x male #canon x oc #canon x male

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michelles-garden-of-evil · 4 years

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Episode 30 Review: The Executive Meddling Begins?

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

Welcome to my Garden of Evil, where today we end one era of the history of Strange Paradise and begin a new one: the period of the “Lost Episode” summaries, when the soap opera’s producers forced headwriter Ian Martin to rewrite much of his original story, discarding many subplots and planned plot twists and negating the original episode synopses that had already been sent to newspapers throughout North America. The known published synopses for this episode are as follows:

"Vangie, the voodoo priestess, uses her conjurer's powers to weaken the evil spell which possesses Jean Paul and to plant the suggestion that she come to his private island."[1]

"A secret potion draws Jean Paul to a voodoo priestess."[2]

According to Curt Ladnier’s blog, this is the first episode known to have been altered after the synopses were sent out, but, before starting this review, I had my doubts. Certainly, comparison between the summaries and the aired episodes show clear evidence of script changes by Episode 32, but there was enough ambiguity in certain events in this episode for me to question if this one was even rewritten in the first place. So, without further ado, let’s run a fine-toothed comb through the aired version of Episode 30 and see if we can find conclusive evidence of rewriting.

The episode begins with Holly being pushed down the staircase in the Great Hall. She screams loudly and Jean Paul and Reverend Matt Dawson come rushing to her aid. While they help her over to the couch, she turns to Matt and accuses him of deliberately pushing her. Jean Paul (who is wearing an unusual but fetching ensemble with a dark blazer and off-white pants) is also suspicious of him, because, according to him, the Reverend was there when she got pushed. Handsome devil Jacques, of course, comments:

An indication that Jacques did it, or just commenting on the situation?

For some reason, Jean Paul doesn’t blame Jacques this time, but instead Matt, who was there (as was Jacques, most likely) and who has the possible motive of revenge for rejecting his romantic advances (not applicable, but Jacques does have the motive of liking murder). Here is the conversation between them and my commentary:

Matt: "Mr. Desmond, I resent your insinuation. Why should I want to harm Holly?" Jean Paul: "Or kill her?" Matt: "You can't be serious." Holly: "Whoever pushed me was." Matt: "But I followed you down here to help you, not to hurt you." Jean Paul: "Or to have her." [Is he implying that he thinks Matt wants to take advantage of her?] Matt: "Are you serious?" Jean Paul: "Your adoration is about as obvious as her pretty face." [And your pretty...everything.]

Matt: *getting pissed at Jean Paul* "I have had about all the insinuations I can take! All right, I do care about her--deeply."

Matt: *to Holly* "Now, can't you believe that I'm the last one who would want to harm you?" Holly: "You're the first, because I don't care for you!"

Jean Paul tells Reverend Stalker to leave Holly alone "or you'll have me to answer to," so the disgruntled padre flounces. But on his way out, he has some accusations of his own:

ROFL at Matt’s delivery of this line.

Matt reveals that he still hasn’t grasped the concept of the detained guest.

So now you believe in demons? What made you change your mind?

The dialogue in this episode so far is heavy with exposition as usual, but it feels different this time. Usually, the exposition takes the form of one character telling another directly about the events and revelations from past episodes, but this time it's structured differently, as a two-way expository dialogue rather than a speech with questions and reactions from the listener. It still doesn't feel entirely natural--it still has the feel of exposition dialogue--but it's a different format.

I should also note that, according to Bryan Gruszka of StrangeParadise.net, the script reveals that neither Matt nor Jacques pushed her. The attacker’s name is a spoiler in spite of the fact that Martin never got to reveal that they were responsible, so I shall link to the Week 6 trivia page here for anyone who is interested.

Jean Paul has a possession headache, but no funny headache faces this time.

Jacques leaves the portrait (which decided to disappear this episode) and mocks Matt for believing in him--which, I should note, is a change from last episode, where the Reverend firmly denied believing in devils and called them superstition. He calls Matt's belief in him "a sad testimony to the belief in which he was schooled"--again, even though Matt actually didn't believe in devils until apparently the beginning of this episode. Already this is a break in continuity, which does not necessarily indicate someone tampering with the established canon, but is suggestive of it nonetheless. Of course, that’s assuming that it isn’t just an error, which it might be. (Remember that Martin can’t decide whether or not Raxl knows Jean Paul is possessed!)

What's with this lighting effect? Did the director decide that Jacques looked too sexy under normal lighting, so they decided to use underlighting to make him look scarier and less hot? Because the effect is not scary. It makes him look like a Muppet, and Muppets are not scary.

Jacques is getting better at impersonating Jean Paul, as evidenced by this deeply ironic part where he comforts Holly. “Have no fear, cherie,” he says, “I will protect you.”

Meanwhile in the Not-So-Hidden Temple, Vangie gives Raxl a bottle of some potion to slip Jean Paul, which she tells her "is not to kill, but to prevent more killing. It is a Conjure brew to free his mind to make it more responsive to mine." This must be what the Lost Episode summaries are referring to! She doesn’t outright state in this scene that she wants Jean Paul to bring her to Maljardin by boat, but she says that’s what she wants in the episode before this one, so anyone who has seen Episode 29 would already know that.

An interesting detail not mentioned on the trivia page: before parting, Vangie asks Raxl, daughter of the Priestess of the Serpent, to pray to her mother.

Vangie teleports/floats back to the main island, which frightens Quito until Raxl assures him that “the Conjure Woman has found her way home.” They leave the temple and begin traveling down the long tunnel back to the crypt. Unbeknownst to them, Reverend Dawson is there, searching the crypt wall for the Not-So-Hidden Door:

Come on, Matt! It’s not at all hard to find!

He finds it and pushes on the door just as Quito starts pulling it open. When Quito grabs him, both of their expressions are priceless:

I can’t decide whose expression is funnier.

“I was not trespassing in your sacred temple, Raxl!” he cries, then insists that he was only down there “to find a means of saving your master.”

“You knew of the temple because I showed you, a man of your-”

“I have not betrayed its sanctity,” he interrupts, even though he was clearly trying to find it so he could search it for the poison. The implication is that, if he visited without Raxl and Quito’s permission, he would betray the temple’s sanctity. He tells her about the missing cyanide, she tells him about the missing conjure doll and silver pin, and then she assures him that neither Jean Paul nor Jacques could have hidden either in the temple because neither know about it.

Up in the Great Hall, THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES is relaxing pompously when Raxl and Quito enter. He orders Quito to prepare to sail to the main island, which leads Raxl to declare, perhaps over-confidently, “The Conjure Woman got to him even without [the potion]!” This negates the second summary which explicitly indicates the potion as the means of “draw[ing] Jean Paul to [Vangie],” but not the first. Also, what makes Raxl think that this is evidence of Vangie’s influence over him? Apparently Jacques choosing to go to the island out of his own free will isn’t a possibility.

Matt asks if he can return to the main island, but Jacques refuses, declaring that “today is a rather special trip for a lady and myself,” referring to his deliciously evil girlfriend Elizabeth Marshall. The Reverend responds by asking if he trusts her not to reveal the secret of Erica’s death, which Jacques uses as yet another opportunity to make Jean Paul look like a murderer by saying, “There is no one dead here--that I don’t pronounce!” And then he threatens him again:

Someone’s on Jacques’ list of people to kill!

We next see Jacques strutting into the French Leave Café wearing a pair of huge round sunglasses over his eyes. Ironically, the demon who is normally so fond of black clothing has changed into Jean Paul’s off-white suit jacket, although he retains the same red shirt and red-and-black striped tie. I’m thinking that Jacques picked out both outfits and changed before heading out because he just felt like playing dress-up that day. Typical 17th-century fop, just with more modern clothes.

Jacques’ new outfit.

Gold-digger Elizabeth clinging to Jacques as though she’s worried that Vangie will try stealing him from her. Makes me wonder what her 17th-century counterpart’s relationship was to Vangie.

What, no joke about how you “still can’t stand the heat?” I’m shocked!

Even on a date in a public place, he tries to make Jean Paul appear interested in committing murder. He asks Elizabeth how much her daughter’s inheritance is, in case she dies, and then gleefully reminds her of her accident earlier that day!

Back on Maljardin, Quito returns from the main island by himself. While Holly is sipping some of Raxl’s tea (in the literal sense only, unfortunately), he walks up to her holding a shiny stone and offers it to her. She takes it only reluctantly, which reminds me of another Lost Episode summary, this one for Episode 33:

Source: Cleveland Plain Dealer (October 24, 1969).

Quito doesn’t show any signs in this episode of being undead, but he does give Holly a sparkling stone, with little reaction from her. Later in this episode (not in the aired version of Episode 33), Holly gives the stone back to Quito despite his insistence that she keep it, which brings him to tears when he is alone with Raxl towards the end. These events suggest a rewrite more strongly than the original summaries at the top of this page do, because the newspaper summary for Episode 33 clearly indicates that these events were originally slated to happen three episodes later, but moved to this one during rewrites.

What about Quito? It certainly appears that Holly’s won Quito’s heart.

Meanwhile at the French Leave Café, Vangie approaches Jacques and Elizabeth and insists on reading their fortunes, although Elizabeth does not want to hear it. She lays the “King of Scepters” (or, rather, the King of Swords--see the screencap at the beginning of this entry) on their table and Jacques freaks out, enough apparently to de-possess Jean Paul:

Hooray! A headache face!

So did Vangie’s Tarot card make Jacques de-possess him? Or was it something else?

At the end of the episode, Jean Paul invites Vangie to Maljardin himself out of a desire to contact Erica. Much like Jacques’ decision to visit the main island earlier this episode, it comes across as something Jean Paul would decide to do of his own accord, without magical influences. Therefore, I think that we can say that Ian Martin’s original idea for Vangie to use her powers to convince him to take her to the island was indeed scrapped--and that was probably a good thing, because this feels more natural.

The episode ends ominously, with Jean Paul willingly putting everyone’s life on the line to contact Erica’s spirit. Not so different from Jacques wanting to kill everyone.

In conclusion, Episode 30 shows distinct signs of having been rewritten since the release of the Lost Episode summaries. Not only did Vangie’s means of allegedly convincing Jacques to visit the main island and Jean Paul’s motivation for bringing Vangie to Maljardin change, but events originally planned for Episode 33 were moved to this one. There are other minor details that, too, suggest a rewrite: the different mode of exposition and Jacques’ lack of devil/Hell jokes where Martin would have likely inserted them just a week ago. The episode feels different from the earlier Week 6 episodes, but not enough to suggest a new writer.

Coming up next: The last Bad Subtitle Special until the end of Week 8, followed by a review of Episode 31. A mysterious force is tampering with the cryonics capsule, while Alison uncovers even more clues to the mysteries surrounding Erica.

{ <- Previous: Episode 29 || Next: Episode 31 -> }

Notes

[1] Fitchburg Sentinel, October 24, 1969.

[2] San Mateo Times, October 17, 1969.

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botan-shirabuki · 4 years

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Soi and Mitsuhide SFW/NSFW headcanons 😭💖

I would get hit by a bus for these two. They don't have to be in danger or anything, just in general.

SFW

-They're generally very well liked by the people in town, so when word got out that they were together, most people were so happy for them. Soi's favorite grocer even gave her a congratulatory discount the day they found out. Soi gets embarrassed by all the attention, but Mitsuhide takes it in stride. After all, when you've got It...you've Got It.

-Soi is a total geek-ass dweeb nerd about food. Like, yeah duh, she's a chef but it goes deeper than that. She reads so much about food and how recipes work that she can list trivia off the top of her head. Whenever her and Mitsuhide eat together, she'll usually begin each meal with some Fun Facts™ about what they're eating. Mitsuhide is so wholly enamoured with everything she tells him so he just sits and listens intently. If he asks her a really good question she goes !!!!! And she starts to go off on a tangent. He has to remind her that they're about to eat sometimes so the food doesn't go cold.

-Mitsuhide kept his love for cats from her for quite a while. "I wanted you to have sex with me." When she found out, she started feeding stray cats along with him. Her cat voice is nowhere near the level of his, but she tries her best. She actually used to be low-key scared of cats after she saw one maul a rabbit when she was younger, but seeing a herd of them around Mitsuhide being cute and fuzzy and meowing helped her get over that.

-Once they get to Sakamoto, they got the opportunity to foster a mother cat who had an injured leg and her kittens back to good health. It was a really hectic time in the castle because the kittens ended up being pretty energetic and many of their retainers ended up chasing them all around. But everyone in the castle grew so attatched to them so some of their retainers and maids ended up taking the kittens home themselves once they were old enough. Soi and Mitsuhide kept the mother and one of the kittens themselves until [DATA EXPUNGED]

-Speaking of the cats, Soi gets to hear all of his corny jokes that they do. Sometimes he'll feed the cats alone so he can practice getting the punchline right before he tries them on her. The thing is, Soi finds the way that he tells the joke funnier than the joke itself. If he finds a joke particularly funny and no one else is around, he'll be chuckling to himself and then he'll stop. And then he'll think about it and start laughing again. And then he'll get her attention; so she turns around, trying to act like she hasn't heard him snickering to himself, and asks him what is it. He proceeds to tell her a joke that she's heard before (maybe even delivered better) but the way he's clearly trying so hard not to crack up and ruin it makes her double over every time. Mitsuhide assumes he killed that shit and they both laugh together. Everyone wins!

-he loves playing with her hair. It's so soft and is such a pretty color when it catches the sunlight. He often runs his fingers through it and will tuck it behind her ears and set it back in its place when it gets messed up by the wind or Inuchiyo. Sometimes if they're sitting outside together he'll start braiding it, though it usually unravels. He can only imagine what it was like when it was long.

-They end each day by talking to each other about how their days went over tea and snacks. It's such a nice stress relief for the two of them and a guaranteed way for them to spend time with each other no matter how eventful their days are.

-Soi has the STRONGEST legs from how good she's gotten at jumping to conclusions. She doesn't mean to, but Mitsuhide means so much to her that her mind tends to go all over the place when he leaves any questions unanswered. Mitsuhide has no problem answering them when she confronts him though. He thinks she's cute when she realizes she was being overdramatic.

-It's a whole part-time job keeping Soi out of danger, whether it's holding her up when she trips on something, or keeping her from throwing a gourd full of deer piss at some scoundrels while they're visiting the capital. Soi gets very embarrassed and frustrated by him always needing to save her or stop her bc she doesn't want him to think of her as less than, or as a child he needs to babysit. Of course, Mitsuhide doesn't mind. Though he often looks exasperated or stressed out by these situations, he admires how impulsive she is. He doesn't want to see her hurt, of course, but that look of self-righteous determination she gets before she does something without thinking is one of his favorites.

-Soi is a very Sensitive Soul, but she tends to hold in her emotions. They've had to really work on communicating properly so that they don't get hung up on minor misunderstandings. Especially after Mitsuhide absolutely slam dunked on Soi's feelings for him. And when she was down, he proceeded to stomp on them, steam roll them, panini press them, tap dance and then finally crip walk on them. She's still not over that so they're working through it. Mitsuhide takes extra care not to hurt her anymore than that, because nothing ruined him like the look on her face at that teahouse 😔

NSFW

-They're both the most stressed people you'll ever meet (Mitsuhide from work and Soi from raw, unfiltered neurosis) and they've become each other's favorite form of stress relief. Those aforementioned nightly visits often escalate very quickly.

-Growing up, Soi never had an actual idea of what sex was. She knew it was something that couples did and that it was a section of the bookstore she wasn't allowed in. So at first, she was very hesitant to do anything too crazy with him even though they were a couple so in theory it was okay, but she didn't know what it would lead to or what the end goal was, if not a baby. But then Mitsuhide made her cum for the first time and she was like "OH THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING OUT ON!!!!!" And she's been a bust down ever since.

-They both dedicate themselves to being the perfect lover. Soi has finally steeled herself to go into the forbidden section of the bookstore and pick up relevant editions of The Lover's Guide. She's that girl who practices facial expressions and flattering positions in the mirror. Mitsuhide also reads All The Books. He's learned not to take advice from Nobunaga, Katsuie, or Hideyoshi because none of their tips are really His Style™. He also often finds himself thinking about how he can use his training to better his performance.

-They both masturbate (also, Mitsuhide taught her how to touch herself) during long bouts where they don't get to see each other. When they finally get to see each other again they're both really bashful, but Soi will end up blurting out that she thought about him while she did and then she'll kick herself for letting that slip out because she doesn't want to come across as desperate. But after a moment, he'll be like "Oh good, I thought of you too!"

-They're very sexually intense people. The sheer level of smoulder between them is INSANE. It's like when they're intimate, it's as if there aren't enough things they can do to show how much they love each other. It isn't enough to just fuck her through the floor. It isn't enough to leave her covered in hickeys and bruises. Soi likes to feel like he's trying to murder her with his dick. She also tends to cry when it's that good, but it's never from sadness. Mitsuhide has learned to just keep fucking her through it until she's nice and sated again 😌

-While Soi does like it rough, she doesn't want him to say anything degrading or mean. Mitsuhide will tell her she's beautiful after he slaps her. Or he'll tell her how good of a job she's doing while he fucks her face. Positive reinforcement is key :) Also, he never leaves any orifices sore because he's learned the RIGHT way to do all this. And he'd never forgive himself if he hurt her in a way that was truly unpleasant.

-Mitsuhide never speaks a single word about what they do to anyone in the castle. He would never put her on blast like that bc it's corny. However, Soi does have Oichi and a few maids that she's close with that she confides in. She intended to keep it secret too, but of course she went and accidentally implied that she likes auto-erotic asphyxiation so the cat was out of the bag. As far as she's concerned, her business is safe with them, though.

-Ever since she has become Aware, Soi has become a royal tease. Nothing too dramatic, she just knows what looks to give him and how to move while she serves Lord Nobunaga's dessert to make his resolve and self control go *Roman Holiday noises*. He gets her back every time without fail.

-They aren't exhibitionists, but they do often end up fucking in risky public/semi-public places (i.e., that dungeon, on the veranda, in an alley at night, on a balcony, in an empty room in the middle of the day......if you fuck on the shores of Lake Biwa and nobody is around, did it really happen?)

-Mitsuhide is a switch, and they've toyed with the idea of changing things up, but Soi would want nothing more than to give him the equal amount of pleasure that he gives her, and she doesn't trust her physical ability to do so. She's also not that good with rope and dildos are intimidating. They've decided that it's best to let her lead the way and tell him exactly what she wants (which btw, took her SO LONG to be able to do bc she's got so many hang ups lol). It's really helped her figure out what she really wants and likes. And although she usually just ends up requesting that he manhandles her anyway, it's reassuring to both of them that she chose for it to be that way.

#my writing #slbp mitsuhide #MC: Soi #headcanons #long post

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the-real-anywolf · 4 years

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Destiel Advent Calendar 2019

Title: My Black Cat Brings All the Boys to the Yard

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Benadryl Makes an Appearance, Curses, Movie References, Cutesy pet names, multiple POVs, You're Welcome For The Earworm, Happy Friday 13th

Summary: When a cute black cat turns up at the bunker, the Winchesters realize it isn't quite as it seems. Also, despite it triggering Dean's allergies, he can't help liking the little furball. It's a shame he can't keep him.

Written by: @eyesofatragedy67 (Eyes_of_a_Tragedy) & @punk-is-notdead (tfw_cas)

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21775495

Day 13: My Black Cat Brings All the Boys to the Yard

Dean was walking through the door of the bunker when a dark blur ran in front of him and down the stairs. What the hell?

"Sammy! Something's headed your way!"

Sam looked startled as the blur shot towards him, and brushed against his legs. He looked down at it and his features softened. “It’s a cat. What’s it doing in here?”

Eyes watering, Dean started heading toward the bathroom. "Hell if I know. Be right back. I'm gonna grab some Benadryl."

He rushed down the hall, nose already starting to run. Crap, he needed to nip this in the bud. Rifling through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, he swallowed two of the little pink pills dry and shoved some tissue up his nose.

When he got back to the library, Sam had the furry menace on the table and was lightly petting its head. “Where’d you come from, huh?” he asked curiously.

"Dude, don't get attached. You know we can't keep it," Dean mentioned, somewhat regretfully, as he passed through on his way to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen.

“Shame,” Sam said sadly. “He’s a friendly little thing. And look at his eyes… they’re blue!”

Dean poked his head out the kitchen door. "Blue?"

“Yeah, bright blue. I’ve never seen them on a cat before.”

Water in hand, Dean stepped into the room, took a swig out of the bottle, and wandered closer. He was about ten feet away from Sam and the cat when he started sneezing, completely dislodging the tissues. "Man, I hope this stuff kicks in quick."

“Don’t worry, I’ll put him back outside soon. I just wanna give him some water first. Maybe some bacon.”

Dean moved close enough to pass Sam his water bottle. He had to wipe the tears from his eyes to do it, though. "I didn't think cats were supposed to eat bacon. I don't want you to make him sick." He paused, "Wait, how do you know the cat's male?"

Sam scrunched up his nose, and thought for a moment. “I… don’t know. I just got this feeling, you know? I could just tell.” He shrugged for emphasis.

"You could just tell," Dean repeated with a mocking quirk of his eyebrow. "Okay, Dr. Doolittle. Well, since you're so in tune, why don't you find out if the little guy has a home? I'm sure someone's missing him."

Sam rolled his eyes and shot Dean one of his best bitchfaces. “How the hell am I supposed to do that? I don’t have a microchip scanner, and I can’t exactly ask him… her.”

The cat hissed, and Dean said, "Uh, think maybe you had it right the first time, Sammy." Whereupon, the cat meowed then plopped his butt down on one of the books on the table. "Huh…"

“It’s about curses and how to remove them.” Sam peered closely at the book and some of his hair draped onto the cat. Dean could have sworn that the cat gave a look of distaste before it got up and moved away from the dangling locks.

"What if this is like The Colonel?" Dean asked. "I'm not drinking the fur, dude. It's your turn to take one for the team."

Sam didn’t look too pleased at that suggestion. “I don’t think anyone will have to drink any potions, Dean. This isn’t Hogwarts. But I do think it’s trying to communicate with us.”

Damn, Dean was kinda looking forward to seeing Sam chase bugs. "It'd be easier if you drank the potion, just sayin'."

“Not if I don’t have to,” Sam muttered, then spoke directly to the cat. “What are you trying to tell us, little buddy?”

"Yeah, little guy, did Timmy fall down the well?" He could swear he saw the cat roll its eyes.

“Very funny,” Sam said, and he definitely did roll his eyes. “Can we be serious now, and not piss him off?”

Dean looked away from the furball and over to his brother. "What? You're the one who refuses to drink the drink so I don't have to die." And he promptly started sneezing again.

Sam sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. “You sure are set on me drinking that potion, aren’t ya? Let me just try something first, okay?”

"Fine, but if it doesn't work, you suck it up and chug, 'k?" He glanced over just in time to see the cat bat the bottle of water off the table.

“Sure,” Sam huffed. “Nothing I want more than to talk ‘cat’.”

"So, what's your idea?" Dean hollered, grabbing a dish towel from the kitchen to mop up the spilled water.

“Observe and report,” Sam replied. “Before one of us goes off half-cocked, let’s see if he can communicate in his own way.”

"I don't know about you, but I always go off fully-cocked. You know, they make pills for that now, Sam." Dean draped the towel over the back of a chair and turned to see the cat twirling around Sam's legs. "Sounds like the little guy likes your idea, though."

“Your jokes aren’t getting any funnier, Dean,” Sam said, reaching down and scooping up the cat. “What do you think, cat?”

The cat purred, then gave Dean a disapproving look - at least that’s what it looked like, anyway.

“Let’s give it twenty four hours, and if we can’t figure out what he’s trying to tell us, then I’ll drink the potion. Deal?” Sam added.

"Fine. Whatever," Dean muttered. He walked past them, but couldn't resist scratching the cat behind the ears as he passed. His eyes started watering as he left the room.

***

Later that night, Dean walked into the kitchen to find Sam there with the cat. He was sitting at the table, placing random types of food in front of the feline. Dean watched with fascination as the cat repeatedly turned his nose up at the different options.

With a sniffle, Dean turned to the fridge and started pulling out ingredients to make hamburgers. He washed his hands thoroughly before unwrapping the beef and adding some seasonings. He was shaping it into patties when he heard a plaintive yowl at his feet. Looking down, he saw a pair of electric blue eyes staring up at him.

"Hey, cat," Dean started, only to be interrupted by the animal leaping onto the counter next to him. "Hey! You can't be up here, fuzzball."

The cat did what cats do: ignored him. Instead, it stared intensely at Dean's hands and the raw meat he was working into a thick ball to be squished flat.

"Mrow," the cat trilled, head tilting to the side.

"Sorry, little guy. No hamburger for you."

The cat pawed at the package of sliced cheddar and looked back up at him with wide eyes.

"Not gonna work on me, fluffy. I've been on the receiving end of puppy eyes the likes of which you'll never know."

With a tail twitch of disgust, Dean watched as the cat hopped back off the counter and moved back to Sam. His brother scooped the cat up in his arms and sat him down in his lap.

Dean continued cooking his burgers, listening as Sam had a one-sided conversation with his new friend.

“It’s no use looking longingly at Dean’s burgers. I know they look delicious - and they are - but they’re not cat food. You’re supposed to eat fish, or chicken, or… what the hell do cats eat? Not gonna tell me, huh?”

Sam sighed, and shook his head. “You must be hungry by now. Just try some of this tuna? Mmmm… tasty,” He said, unconvincingly.

Dean put a burger on the table for Sam and said, "Dammit, Sam, don't feed him that. What if he's like one of those gremlin things from the movie and you're not supposed to feed him after midnight?"

“This is real life, not a movie.” Sam rolled his eyes (one of these days he was going to get stuck like that), as he picked up the burger and took a bite. He and the cat stared at each other for a moment, and Sam wagged his finger at the feline. “Sorry, dude, this is mine.”

The cat hissed and hopped off Sam's lap, trotting over to Dean.

"Don't look at me, Gizmo. I'm not the pushover in this household."

“Yeah, sure you’re not,” Sam laughed. “A pretty bartender just has to call you handsome, and you’re like putty in her hands.”

The cat appeared to be particularly pissed at Sam’s remark; he skulked over to the corner and sat, apparently ignoring them both.

"I had an idea. I mean, it seems like he understands us, so what if we try some kind of written communication?" Dean asked, shooting the cat a questioning look.

“A pencil and a piece of paper?” Sam asked with a grin. “Yeah, I can make dumb jokes too.”

The cat raised its head and looked over at them, but stayed where it was.

“Do you mean something like laying letters out and asking him to pick the right ones?” Sam asked.

"Sure, like Scrabble tiles, or a ouija board… hell, even just drawing letters on a sheet of paper for him to point at," he shrugged and looked over at the cat. "What do you think, Gizmo?"

“That’s actually a pretty good suggestion.” Sam looked impressed. “I don’t think drawing letters on the paper would work though, unless we cut them out. They need to be spaced out so that it’s clear which ones he picks.”

"I'm going to go see if I can find the Scrabble game, maybe the ouija board. I'm pretty sure they're in a closet in the hall."

“Okay, I’ll take him outside, in case he wants to do his business,” Sam said, picking Gizmo up and carrying him in the direction of the stairs. The cat struggled in his arms, and Dean was pretty sure Sam got a couple of scratches at least, with the way he cursed at the creature.

The first closet he tried was full of boxes of Sam's books. Nerd. Digging through the second closet, Dean found the stash of board games, revealing Scrabble and the ouija board. He grabbed them both, just in case, and returned to the war room.

Sam was descending the stairs, looking pretty pissed, as Gizmo ran in front of him. “I thought we were friends, but the little fucker sure has some vicious claws. I hope he doesn’t feel the same way about word games.”

Dean pulled the ouija board out of its box. "I thought we could try this first, since it has 'yes' and 'no' options. Figured maybe we could try asking some questions first." He looked down at the cat, "How's that sound, fuzzball?"

The cat didn’t look too interested either way; for some reason he seemed to be trying to stick his tongue in Dean’s coffee. That was just weird… cats didn’t drink coffee, did they?

“What are we gonna ask him?” Sam asked, picking up Dean’s cup and taking it to the sink. “Is there anything you like eating other than burgers?”

The cat jumped up on the table and put his paw down on 'yes'. "Huh," Dean pulled his henley up over his nose and called out to Sam, "Looks like it's working!"

“Huh,” Sam remarked. “Wish I could work out what it was. Got any other ideas for yes or no questions?”

"Uh, hmm…" Dean made some serious eye contact with the cat. Quirking a brow, he continued, "Okay, so is it safe to assume you're cursed?"

Without hesitation, the cat placed his paw on ‘yes’ again.

“Good one,” Sam said. “Er… I don’t suppose you know how we can break the curse?”

The cat insistently tapped the 'yes' and looked up at them.

"Well, okay, then," Dean replied with genuine curiosity. "How complex should these questions get, Sam?"

“Hmmm, good question. He seems to understand everything we say, so I think we can go with quite complex. What do you say we try with the Scrabble tiles now, so we don’t have to stick with yes or no?”

Dean opened the box and grabbed the purple Crown Royal bag they kept the tiles in. Emptying it onto the table, he started flipping all of them face up. "Let's give it a shot."

Sam and Dean spent the next couple of minutes spreading the tiles over the table’s surface, removing the blank ones, as they worked. Dean couldn’t help spelling out a couple of naughty words, but he quickly shuffled the tiles around again, hoping Sam hadn’t noticed.

“Okay, what are we going to ask first?” Sam asked, addressing Dean, before staring inquisitively at the cat.

"What's your name?" Dean had jokingly been calling the cat Gizmo, but if he had a real name...

The cat began walking amongst the tiles, obviously looking for a particular letter. He stopped when he found it, and tapped his paw on it as he’d done with the ouija board.

“C,” said Sam, excitedly.

They watched as the cat began searching again, then indicated another letter.

"A," Dean added, then looked over. "We know you're a cat, dude. How about we just stick with Gizmo for now." He glanced at Sam and wondered out loud, "I wonder how he got cursed?"

The cat pushed an 'I' to the center of the table, then found a 'D'...

"Dude, I think he's calling us idiots," Dean scoffed.

“No, I’m sure he isn’t doing that. Especially as we’re trying to help him.”

The cat carried on, finding an ‘I’, and a ‘T’.

“I think you might be right.” Sam frowned down at the cat and its growing collection of letters.

Dean sat in one of the chairs, sneezing into his sleeve. "Bobby? Is that you?"

The cat meowed and put his paw on his head in what looked like exasperation, then touched an 'M'.

“M,” Sam said, peering at it as if he was trying to calculate pi in his head. “Mom? No? Er… my name is…? Are you Crowley and you’re calling us morons?” He turned to Dean and sighed. “This isn’t working out so well, is it? So far we’ve got a C-A-D-I-T, and an M. What the hell is that supposed to spell?”

Dean sniffled and said, "Man, I wish Cas was here. He could just interrogate you to get the answers."

The cat yowled and walked over to him. "Dude, back off a bit. I'm allergic to you."

The cat didn't listen, though, and sat back on his haunches and reached up to tap Dean on the forehead.

“He might understand what we’re saying, but he’s kinda heedless when it comes to personal space, isn’t he?” Sam chuckled. “You’re gonna make Dean sick if you keep getting in his face, buddy.” He leaned over to move the cat away from Dean, and got a scratch on his arm for his troubles.

Dean reached out and grabbed the cat, picking him up so they were on eye level. "Hey, you. No hurting Sam. He's trying to help you, you know."

He started coughing and passed the cat off to his brother. "I've gotta get out of here. Sorry. Good luck with this."

Dean left the room, trudging to the bathroom to pop some more meds before going to his bedroom to grab a change of clothes. He needed a shower asap.

***

Sam rested his elbows on the table and huffed in frustration. He felt bad for Dean - his allergies were a real pain - but at the same time, he hadn’t exactly made the situation any better. Despite his protestations that he only went off fully-cocked, his attempt at working out the cat’s message seemed to annoy it more, and now he was left alone to try to decipher what he was trying to tell them.

“Hey, cat,” he said in what he hoped was a placating tone of voice. “What did you want to tell us? I promise I won’t interrupt you any further.”

The cat paced around amongst the tiles once more, this time finding an ‘S’. It pushed the tile towards the others, then sat itself on the table and looked up at Sam.

“C-A-D-I-T-M-S… Nope, that’s not a word. Is it an anagram?” Sam wondered out loud.

Sam didn’t think it was possible for the cat to roll its eyes, but somehow it did.

“You’re gonna have to help me out here. I’m not getting it.” Sam gave the cat his best puppy dog eyes, and hoped that would work on the feline.

The cat stood up again, and began pushing the tiles around. When it had finished, Sam looked at what it had given him, hoping it was a better clue.

“A-C-S. It still didn’t mean anything.

Wait !

“C-A-S… are you telling me you’re Cas?” Sam felt like a prize idiot… of course it was Cas. All the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fell into place, and he beamed at his friend before scratching behind his ear.

“Dude, I’m so sorry for not realising sooner. No wonder you didn’t want me to take you outside for your business… awkward. But what happened to you? How can we undo the curse?”

Sam stopped talking and slapped his own forehead. “I’m gonna go tell Dean right now. He needs to know.”

He took off towards the bedrooms, with Cas hot on his heels. However, bursting into Dean’s room with the news, Sam saw that his brother was fast asleep.

This could wait until morning, and in the meantime, he and Cas could work on the cure. Maybe he would even be back to himself by then.

Unfortunately, Cas’s skills at letting Sam know how to cure him using Scrabble tiles were severely limited. After about an hour of frustrating attempts at trying, Sam felt his energy sapping and he laid his head on the table for a couple of minutes. That was all he needed… just a few minutes...

***

Dean woke up from a Benedryl-induced sleep and glanced over at his clock. It read 4:01. There was a warm weight on his chest, and he looked down to see Gizmo curled up on top of him.

He carefully reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a couple tissues. Shoving them in his nose, he gave in to temptation and stroked down the cat's back. His fur was so soft, and Dean could feel the rumble of purring with each pass of his hand.

"You sure are a cute little guy. I hope Sam had some luck figuring out how to help you."

The cat woke up at his voice, and stretched full-body before standing up and leaning over to nuzzle Dean's cheek.

Dean gripped him tight as he suddenly sneezed. "Okay, bud, I think it's time for another dose of allergy meds for me. What do you say we go grab some food, too?"

The feline headbutted him and licked his cheek. Taking that as an affirmative, Dean got up and carried Gizmo with him into the bathroom. He snagged the meds and continued on toward the kitchen.

Due to the watery eyes, he could barely make out Sam passed out at the table, Scrabble pieces scattered around his head.

In the kitchen, he set the cat down on the counter and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. He washed his hands in the sink, then grabbed a loaf of bread and the peanut butter out of the pantry. It was some organic, hippie brand that Sam insisted on buying, and Dean would never admit it to him, but it tasted better than the Peter Pan that had been his preferred choice.

He looked in the fridge for the jelly, but looked like they were out. There wasn't any in the pantry either. Dean shrugged and spread peanut butter on both slices of bread.

He was going to just slap them together and take his pills, but Gizmo knocked over Cas's bottle of honey. "Guess that could work." After drizzling a little on the slices, he put them together and took a bite. "Mmm, that's pretty tasty," Dean said with a full mouth. "Thanks for the suggestion, buddy."

Setting the sandwich down on the counter, Dean uncapped his water and swallowed down two more pills. When he reached for the pb&h, Gizmo swatted at his hand and quickly took a bite.

Dean was about to object to the sneak attack on his sandwich, when there was a sudden flash of light which prevented him from seeing anything for a few seconds. When his vision was clear again he could no longer see the cat, but Cas was standing there instead.

Where did he come from ?

"Cas?" He looked around, searching for Gizmo. Maybe… "Did you see a black cat?"

“Dean, do the letters I-D-I-O-T mean anything to you?” Cas asked. He stared into Dean’s eyes, but didn’t say anything more.

"Yeeeaaaaah," Dean drawled, looking at his friend who seemed to be covered in black hairs.

“That’s a fancy looking gizmo you’ve got there,” Cas stated drily, pointing at the waffle iron. He really seemed to be speaking in riddles today.

Dean was starting to put some pieces together when Sam burst through the door. His hair was a mess, and there was a Scrabble tile stuck to the side of his face. “Cas!! You’re back… how? How did you…?” He pulled Cas into a bro-hug and slapped him on the back.

Dean poked Sam in his tile and said, "You knew?"

“I worked it out last night,” Sam said, letting go of Cas, and pulling the tile from his face.

Cas coughed and gave him a pointed look.

“Oh, er… Cas helped me to understand last night,” Sam corrected himself. “I was gonna tell you, but you were asleep and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

"Thanks, I guess," Dean responded, half bitchiness, half honesty. "I still don't understand what broke the curse, though."

“I had to eat something after midnight. I understand the irony, as you made me watch Gremlins, and I think the witch that cursed me did too.” Cas gave a little laugh.

Dean stared, mouth hanging open. "You mean, this whole time it was a bad movie reference?"

“It would seem that way, yes. Some people love movies as much as you do, apparently,” Cas replied.

Sam slapped his hand over his mouth and chuckled. “Dude, that’s a whole new level of nerd.”

"Shut up, Sam." Dean shot him his own bitch face, then turned to Cas and sneezed. "You're covered in fur. Unless you want me to look like a walking plague victim, you'll go take a shower."

“Yes, that is a disgusting image you’ve painted for me, Dean. I’ll take a shower now.” Cas started towards the door, when Dean suddenly put his hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"It's good to have you back, Gizmo," Dean snarked, then pulled Cas into a hug. Whispering in the angel's ear, he asked, "Mind if I join you? Somebody slept on top of me last night and got me dirty."

“If you’re really good, I’ll let you tickle my belly,” Cas growled back into Dean’s ear.

“I know what you’re doing, by the way,” Sam complained. “You guys are gross.”

Dean looked over at his brother and grinned. "Then this won't come as a shock."

He grabbed Cas's ass and stroked a hand up his back. Cas rubbed against his cheek, and Dean couldn't help but dive in for a kiss. It was kinda gross, given his current state of sniffles, but Cas responded with enthusiasm.

"C'mon, kitten, it's bath time."

“Rawr,” Cas purred.

The End

#Destiel Advent Calendar 2019 #fanfiction #destiel #christmas short fics

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thewineabout · 5 years

Text

I’ll give you a light (When your hands tremble) Chapter 3

Notes: Everyone has been so nice to me thank you. You can find this fic with all the relevant tags and ratings on A03!

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The car is unsettling when the only noise is the hum of driving: the engine, the all seasons on the wet pavement and the hood cutting through the air as they speed. Chris doesn’t risk checking the rearview because he doesn’t want to see Stiles sitting coiled up in the back and he really doesn’t want to think about what the kid looks like now. Older, that much he knows; his first glance over had told him that. He might even look like John if it weren’t so dark.

Allison would have started to resemble Victoria’s sister by now; they had the same eyes and chin. She’d have lost the teenager youth; would have grown into the adult he never got to meet.

Chris shifts in his seat, leg stretching out the best he can while maintaining his foot on the pedal. His knee bounces twice.The strangling guilt Chris carries around crawls up his throat until he has to swallow and press his tongue against his teeth; the protein drink he’d sucked down an hour ago left them gritty.

Peter’s heavy palm lands on Chris’s leg hard enough to make his thigh twitch under the ensuing grip. Chris can guess what he must smell like; the wolf gets tactile when either of them start to fall into the specific misery he’s feeling now.

The stereo continues to croon into the car but when the song changes Peter’s fussing with Chris’s phone to jump passed the Aerosmith slow jams to Cage the Elephant.

Chris feels guilty about it, always does, but Peter’s jarring sense of humor eases the pressure from the base of his lungs.

They drive like that, with Peter smirking to himself as they take an exit that loops them back to the south side of the highway.

When he looks over again, Chris’s gaze catches on the splatters of inky red decorating his partner. “Change your shirt, Peter, Jesus .” It barely sounds admonishing when it’s mostly breath, but Chris tries, and the tighter fingertips on his leg feels like a fair response.

“Stiles,” Peter waits until brown eyes move from the window to the space between the front seats. “Pass me a shirt from the bag beside you,” the wolf twists in his seat to gesture to the duffel Chris had yanked clothes from in the parking lot.

There’s movement in Chris’s peripheral, shadowy rummaging elbows, and then a black tee-shirt is sailing over the center console. It almost smacks into the dash but Peter snatches it and makes a show of taking off his bloodstained one.

“You never let me bask in it,” Peter complains, and Chris knows it’s just to hear his own voice. “It’s always: change your shirt Peter, brush your teeth Peter, not in this fucking car Peter.”

There’s a snort from the backseat that feels like a windshield chip in the tension.

The motel they pull into has a flickering vacancy sign; it’s the nicest thing about the place.

The parking lot smells like piss and there’s broken glass littering the sidewalk up to the office where a bell announces Chris’s solo entrance much louder than the thud of his boots over the threshold.

“Need a room,” he says and slaps down cash to the cut out in the counter; more cash than a shithole would have any dream of asking for. A surplus of money in the bank means he and Peter have never worried about the cost of discretion.

The woman behind the polycarbonate divider doesn’t lift her watery eyes up from her phone longer than it takes to appraise the stack of bills. Her bubble gum pops as a key attached to a chipped plastic number clatters through the slot just a moment after the money is fed into a lock box at her feet.

His key reads 4A and when he’s back outside and looks over at the long building he can tell the letter designates them on the ground level of the two story dump.

It looks like the kind of haunt that movies try to mimic to get that specific might get murdered ambiance. Chris knows he can’t really complain about it considering he’s got a murderer sitting in the car arguing with their kidnapped teenager’s taste in music.

“Who let the dogs out does not have the same ironic value as Hungry like the Wolf,” Peter is sniping, fully turned around in his seat. “And, it’s an irritating song I would never voluntarily listen to.”

“You’ll play Beast though?” Stiles has a leg hanging out of the SUV; the door open since they parked. “It’s funnier. It’s funnier Peter, you can’t fucking argue that.”

“That’s racist,” Peter sniffs and then turns his head over to meet Chris’s approaching gaze. Peter’s brows are up and the corner of his mouth budges in the direction of a smirk he is visibly containing. “Stiles is making dog jokes.”

Chris shrugs both shoulders, “you put him in the car.” He knows that Peter hates anything in the vein of canine humor, he’ll make the occasional crack about himself when the mood strikes but he doesn’t tolerate it from anyone else. Chris is surprised that he looks unbothered.

The keys jangle when Chris holds them up and gestures Stiles out of the car with a hike of his thumb. “We’ve got that room,” he points two doors down from the stall they’d pulled up into and moves around the back of the SUV to tap his knuckles against.

There’s a quiet snick and whuff before the back door is popping up and Chris eases it up above his head.

Peter slinks out of his seat and gives Stiles a pointed snub as he skirts him to get to Chris, specifically the keys he’s holding and the overnight bag stacked on the top of their totes and duffels of supplies.

“This place looks like we’ll be sleeping in the car,” Peter says with a distinct wrinkle to his nose. He shoulders a bag to each arm and leans forward in a distracted way Chris recognizes as skin seeking.

“Your breath, Peter,” Chris reminds as he leans away from the wolf and snatches up a soft sided cooler. The trunk comes down and he bounces his weight against it to be sure its closed; it doesn’t stick like his old one but the habit’s still there.

A loose chunk of concrete skitters through a scatter of glass and startles the men into looking back over at Stiles. He’s standing with the grimey yellow motel porch lights at his back, it makes him look bigger than he is. Nothing to distinguish between the lumps of his sweater the outline of his body in the dim.

Stiles rubs his hand through his shorn hair and then crosses them both under his armpits. “You know, this is the first time anyone’s thrown me in the back of their murder van before taking me to a shitty motel.”

Chris blinks and raises a brow a little. He doesn’t want to feed into the restless energy clearly spooling out of the teenager. Stiles’ fingers are fiddling and his body shifts like his weight doesn’t know where to settle.

It’s not hard to see how quickly uncertain and displeased could turn hostile, Chris watches Stiles shoulders hitching the longer they stare at him.

Peter breaks the half stunned silence first by locking the car and starts walking towards their room. “It’s not a van Stiles, it’s a sport utility vehicle. Roomy,” his fingers flip and it’s a flamboyant gesture Chris recognizes as put on, “without screaming government watch list.”

“Right, ‘cause you’re not on any of those,” Stiles drawls; his gaze flicks to Chris once before he follows Peter with curved in shoulders. “A back from the dead millionaire and an ex arms dealer with a name that comes up too much.”

“Yes, well, it’s not the car that tips people off,” Peter jabs the key into the motel room door and braces himself before he actually opens it.

There’s always a pause, a scent acclimation before he’ll enter something this low class by choice. This time’s the same. Peter inhales shallowly, and then deeper, eyes skimming in the dark for the things that scurry when the lights come on.

“Aside from the pesticides I can’t smell anything too malevolent.” Peter steps in and palms the wall which turns on a lamp beside the tightly made double bed that centers the little room.

“Christopher is afraid of cockroaches,” he says to Stiles so plainly it makes Chris grunt irritably behind them.

“No bedbugs?” Chris asks as he squints at the bed. It looks flammable and the thin plasticy blanket is a rosey pink he’s only ever seen in motels.

“Gross,” Stiles hisses as he steps another foot away from the mattress and coils into himself, face twisted.

Peter looks between them before he lets his bags fall to the bed where they bounce and settle, “no bedbugs.“

It’s a small blessing, and the prospect of catching sleep in a truly horizontal position reminds Chris how sore he is. He rolls both shoulders and moves to the bed, shoving the duffels aside so he can sit and then stretch out. The cooler bag abandoned with the others as he rubs his hands over his face.

“I’ll take the first shower, unless anyone would like to share?” Peter asks as he smoothes a concerned expression away from Chris and to the bag he’s rummaging through for a toiletry pouch.

“Fuck off,” Stiles responds when Peter looks at him and his shoulder pull up near his ears. Stiles looks so defensive and flighty that Chris wonders if he won’t try and dart out on them.

“Your loss,” Peter quips back with a smirk that’s too crafted not to be obvious, “if there’s no hot water left.”

“Just go wash off, you’ve got blood in your beard,” Chris says from under his palms. Trying to rub the tension headache out of his face.

Peter scratches at the faint rust in his facial hair with a scowl but does disappear into the little stall of the attached bathroom.

“So,” Stiles starts and his body is rigid before he takes a breath and goes languid, approaching the bed to sit near Chris’s knees. “You going to ask what a good kid like me was doing in a truck stop?”

“I think I know what you were doing,” Chris intones flatly as he moves his hands from his face and props his torso up by his elbows to look at Stiles with a less severe height difference.

“Just paying my way; rides aren’t free,” Stiles speaks as he lifts a hand and settles delicate fingers around Christopher’s knee. “And I still need one.”

The pipes in the wall behind them groan as the water comes on in the other room but Chris barely notices. His attention is caught on Stiles’ hand.

All of his knuckles are bruised

#stetopher #stiles stilinski #peter hale #chris argent #swearing #do I have to tag for swearing?

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tempestaurora · 5 years

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endgame opinions

spoilers under the cut. i’ve opened my dms so feel free to come and scream/yell/cry/whatever with me. this turned out really long because i start speculating half way through as well as talking about opinions.

let’s start with harley keener, my son, who was literally only in the movie for a second, at the fucking funeral. are you kidding me. and a lot of people don’t know what ty simpkins looks like now?? so even my friend didn’t know who he was until i started physically vibrating in my seat

HOWEVER, he and peter are in the same location, which totally opens up a plausible reason for them to know each other, become best friends/brothers/roommates at MIT

it’s sad that it was just him standing alone though, like no one stood with him, like his mother or anyone. that’s sad.

i wrote a harley keener infinity war fic so like,, feel free to read that to get the harley keener endgame feelings we DESERVE

aNYWAY, good film

i enjoyed it a lot for the most part, like i have so few complaints its unreal

it’s a genuinely funny film that didn’t feel like it was shoehorning in comedic relief, but like the movie was SUPPOSED to be lighter and funnier and drama was happening in between

i didn’t care for the ending in the slightest fuck that

i’m pissed about being lied to by the directors about a canon gay character. they sat up there on their high horses, congratulating themselves for a job well done for diversity, when it was just a fucking extra with no name, referring to a male partner twice. that’s it. you’re fucking kidding me if you think that’s diversity, if the russos truly think that was worth getting our hopes up for.

you know who could’ve been confirmed lgbt? valkyrie. steve. bucky. tony. (and no, tony appreciating steve’s ass doesn’t confirm our bi father, son and holy spirit on screen, unfortunately.)

that’s a fucking joke, russos. i hope they’re fucking ashamed of that.

(i really was watching that final bucky/steve scene and hoping for some hint of, it was always you, you know and got fucking nothing. i barely even ship stucky and i know that it should’ve been them)

the clint/natasha fight on vormir was the best scene, hands down. there’s no competition here. it was the best moment of the film, and despite my annoyance at the russos seeing that the audience didn’t appreciate gamora dying to further a man’s arc, and then fucking doing it again, i really did like that scene

i figured nat was gonna die but i didn’t think i’d actually be sad about it

as soon as they said they were going to vormir i knew the fight would happen and it lived up to every expectation and some

the barton home cold open was fantastic

why the ever loving FUCK was carol danvers so forcefully advertised to us?????? why were we told over and over and over that carol was gonna kill thanos, that she was gonna save the day, that the avengers literally had zero chance without her????? she had four minutes of screentime what the fuck

i appreciate her and peter’s interaction though that was cute and he was wrecked

the peter/tony reunion was cute af, glad they finally got their hug

also, i always wanted peter to call him tony but like that???? nah

side note, don’t remember in the slightest what rhodey and peter said as tony died because i was sitting there going, he’s not actually gonna die, obviously, that’s not gonna happen, they’re gonna make us think he will and then he’ll come back so i missed both their goodbyes

i know it was a 3 hour film but there was space for... more. there should’ve been more. where was rocket and groot’s reunion? where was bucky and steve’s?

where did valkyrie get a fucking pegasus from

bruce and hulk’s new system is hilarious but the fact that he dabbed pains me

bruce wielding the gauntlet was so incredibly left field i loved it, like no one guessed that he’d be the one to bring everyone back. no one

scott did great

i’m not sure if i can settle myself with this five year time jump for a whole host of reasons

1. do we have, officially, a new cassie lang actress? is our iconic abby ryder fortson leaving us for an older actress???

2. far from home takes place, supposedly, a week after endgame. it was one of the reasons i believed tony wouldn’t die, because it seems like a wholly upbeat film - and y’all saw his face at the funeral, he was fucking gone - and it’s even been confirmed to be lighter and funnier, so there better be some fucking low blow that takes peter out on the tony front (but did the writers/directors even know tony had died when they made the film? will it be ignored altogether?) back to the main point:

2a. it’s around the year 2023 and as soon as the entire world comes back, there’s a two week field trip to europe that peter and all his classmates have somehow paid for, signed permission slips for, and arranged, despite the fact that they’ve all been dead for five years. and i mean all. literally the entire main cast of spiderman is still in peter’s class, they haven’t grown up and moved on. the entire fucking cast got dusted.

3. we didn’t really get to see tony and steve make up??? they kinda just brushed over everything

i almost cried seeing ned leeds and peter reunite

okay now the biggies:

i’m Not Okay with tony stark dying

i’m not

it’s not just that he’s my favourite character and i care about him above all others, it’s that his entire arc has been about first, accountability, and second, leaving the fight. yes, it’s also got a lot of heart motifs and mentions of sacrifice too. i understand that. but tony has been wrestling with his father’s legacy and the kind of father he’ll be since day one.

he deserved his happy ending.

not just five years. not just a daughter who will know OF him but not know him, who’ll forget the short time of memories she has in due course. he deserved to grow old with his daughter and his wife and the kid whose photo he placed on the shelf in the kitchen, where he could see it every day.

he does deserve rest. but he deserves the kind of rest where he’s alive.

i have said before that if tony stark dies, i stop watching the mcu, and tbh, might actually go through with it. i don’t know if i really want to watch the films, knowing he’s gone? (and that they could’ve used either the time stone, or, you know, their time travel machine, to go two weeks back, grab that tony and bring him into the present. say, hey, you died, but now you can keep living.)

and steve.

oh steve.

i love steve rogers, i do. i absolutely adore steve rogers. but i’m about the same level of angry about his ending as i am about tony’s.

and honestly? it’s only because it’s not him. it’s not the him we know. my friend said that cap went and settled down because he’d finally learnt the lesson tony had been teaching; that maybe there is a reason to set down the shield and live a quiet, good life. but i don’t like it. it opens time anomalies, inconsistencies. it doesn’t feel like him.

since cap came into the 21st century, his story line has had a motif of moving on. about getting with the times, learning new music, new references, finding old friends and having to decide whether he should hold onto them and risk what he has now, or let them go. he’s been staring at a photo of peggy carter since 2011, he made peace with her life when he visited her in hospital, he let her go when she died. he watched her, through her office window, be director of shield, knowing she was about to have a life that she loved. she has children, a family.

it doesn’t feel like the steve rogers i know to take that away from her

but at the same time, i understand that sometimes, he should get to be a little selfish. he was selfish when it came to protecting bucky over all else, and it ended with mixed results.

i loved the final scene, of he and peggy dancing and kissing, but i think i would’ve loved that scene just as much, if not more, if it had happened in the afterlife. with an about time from peggy.

on the same subject: bucky and sam.

i’m super happy with sam being the next captain america (does this mean we’ve been lied to about the whole falcon and winter soldier tv show? is it actually a captain america and winter soldier show?)

i think bucky knew what steve’s plans were, though it would’ve been nice to have some on-screen confirmation. i think that’s why he seemed relieved that steve was sitting on the bench; he knew what steve was going to do and was glad he’d lived long enough to pass the torch once and for all

HOWEVER, the time anomalies i mentioned:

peggy carter’s established timeline is broken

does sharon carter exist? if yes, does this timeline’s steve rogers still make out with her

if steve goes into the past, the steve that he already was and his whole existence in the 21st century will still happen. that means he’ll look for peggy. that means he’ll find her. with him. in the future/present. steve is therefore made aware of the future - would that then effect how he acts with civil war/infinity war etc? would that then erase the events that happened, limiting steve from going back?

does he tell anyone that hydra is in shield

does he get bucky the fuck out of hydra or does he let his best friend be tortured for 70 years

i think bucky should’ve been a part of the sam/captain america torch conversation. if only because steve’s narrative has focused around bucky since 2011 and it ends with a don’t do anything stupid while i’m gone / you’re taking all the stupid with you - that’s not a satisfactory ending lads

much of me thinks steve and tony’s outcomes should’ve been switched. tony wants a quiet life, steve has said many times that he can’t imagine giving up the fight, living as a civilian in obscurity. i think it’s a cruel way to end it.

plus steve is ALWAYS the one making speeches about sacrifice, but he’s never the one to actually make the sacrifice. it’s always tony.

i’m happy for steve, i am.

i think i’d just be happier if morgan could grow up with her father and if pepper wasn’t a single parent and peter didn’t have to navigate the rest of his life - super powered and not - alone

side note, far from home taking place a week after endgame: nick fury wasted no fucking time jumping on spiderman. like, tony absolutely protected him from fury before infinity war, and the dude’s barely buried and fury’s making his move on peter - not cool

anyway, i genuinely did enjoy the film. i find it incredibly difficult to believe this was shot immediately after infinity war because the tone is so different, and i was remembering all those photos we had from reshoots and realised none of those scenes made it in the final cut.

it was a good film. probably the most emotionally mature of the mcu. not my favourite. i’m angry about the ending. nebula should’ve killed thanos at least once. cool that gamora’s back. sad about nat. devastated about tony. happy for steve on the surface, until i spend 2 seconds looking deeper. loki’s probably alive because the timeline changed and they replaced the tesseract in 1970, not 2012, so officially, loki never goes to asgard jail anymore

but for real: how does steve replace the tesseract in the past when it’s now the space stone? how does he get that past anyone at all?

edit: I SOMEHOW forgot about rescue, the moment i’ve been waiting for for a decade

i love her, i love the suit, i love the pepper was incredibly badass with it with zero hesitation. i wish someone had said the name rescue like i wish someone had said captain marvel - but no dice. it’s such a rad suit and seeing her and tony fight side by side was so cool

edit 2 bc im a dumbass: CLINT MY ARROW BOY I LOVE YOU, YOU GOT ALL THE SCREENTIME U FUCKIN DESERVED

#endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #avengers endgame #marvel #mcu #bethany talks

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Bea & Fraze

Bea: 👓 Fraze: ⛔ Bea: You'll get a right headache Fraze: Nah Fraze: Be more of one if I put 'em on 🤓 Bea: 🙄 Bea: be so 😎 when you don't pass this test Fraze: I ain't gonna either way Bea: Not with that attitude Bea: why not Fraze: Didn't study, like Fraze: too busy Bea: can't see, like Bea: such a bullshit excuse Fraze: Fuck off, I can see Bea: Alright well the squint doesn't look cute so you'll want to knock that on the head Fraze: Nobody's looking my way but you, babe Fraze: This ain't a paper to cheat off Bea: Better 🤞 they ain't Bea: since you're so concerned what they reckon, apparently Fraze: what are you on one for? Bea: you're distracting me with all your faces Bea: just put 'em on, idiot Fraze: You're distracting me with all this bullshit, that I'm reading easy, by the way Fraze: You know you're copycatting my Ma right now, yeah? That don't sound cute so you'll wanna knock it on the head even faster Bea: Not the same, your phones not even a foot from your face Fraze: And? Bea: 🤓 go sit up front Fraze: fuck that Bea: exactly Bea: what's the big deal anyway Fraze: you're the only one making a big deal out of it Fraze: like I said, Ma will be well proud Bea: whatever Bea: be like that then Fraze: Like what? Fed up that I'm getting a headache off you Fraze: Stop kicking off and get your own test done Bea: Bollocks Bea: you know why you've got a headache, even if you refuse to do anything about it Fraze: I ain't asking you to do anything about it except shut up Fraze: give it a shot if you wanna help, like Bea: you shut up Bea: go lie in a dark room Bea: that'll be cool Fraze: Miss ain't letting me go mid test, feeling fake sick is the oldest trick in the book Fraze: catch yourself on, she has Bea: it's not even fake Bea: you'll be seeing spots in a few Fraze: Who died and made you such a fucking expert? Bea: don't take a genius, babe Fraze: Shame, prime showing off opportunity slipping through your fingers there Bea: Get the chance when I ace this, won't I Fraze: 'Course Fraze: probably wanna concentrate then, yeah? Bea: what are you gonna do? Fraze: I reckon I'll text some girls who ain't you Bea: yeah, that's what I meant Bea: and that'll help Fraze: It won't hurt Fraze: Unlike the suggestions I'm ignoring from you Bea: Your funeral Bea: didn't you listen either Bea: if you don't get at least 50% you've got to come back and do it again at lunch Fraze: Me and Miss, it's a date Bea: enjoy Fraze: Cheers Bea: [slides him notes along the floor that's like everything from the board in as few words as possible 'cos that bitch] Bea: get it 'fore your mate does Fraze: [obvs takes he cos not gonna pass up that opportunity] Fraze: Why'd you bother? Bea: not like it took me long Fraze: Yeah but it ain't like you're gonna miss me that much at lunch Bea: Obviously Bea: idk does it matter Fraze: You tell me, you're the one being proper helpful today Bea: yeah don't say thanks or anything Fraze: Alright I won't Bea: 🙄 Fraze: You done already? Bea: yeah Fraze: fucking hell Bea: I ain't sending you the answers next Bea: before you even ask Fraze: Come on Bea: you ain't thick Bea: you can do it yourself Bea: and I wouldn't want to interrupt your lunchdate Fraze: Worth a try Bea: put half that effort in with your work Bea: mum enough for you? Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Yeah, you nailed it Bea: 👍 Bea: I'll take my bow Fraze: Let me get my 👓 on first, I'd be gutted to miss it, babe Bea: Funny Fraze: Nah but I'm trying to get this done, ain't I Bea: oh what, you'll be so much funnier when you're not busy Bea: sure 👌 Fraze: shut up Fraze: 'course I would Fraze: ask anyone in here, my rep precedes me Bea: maybe they've just got low-standards Fraze: Funny Bea: I'm done so Bea: got the time Fraze: not gonna clap for you like a proud Ma Bea: s'alright Bea: plenty will Bea: you focus Fraze: Let me then Fraze: Think about your 🌟s and head pat 🤓 Bea: like I care Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I could be legit blind and still see how much you give a shit Bea: not about what anyone here thinks Bea: getting the grades to be where I wanna be, obviously Bea: what else is there, not gonna waste my time here when we've got to be Fraze: Never said it was for 'em, did I? Fraze: smarter than that, cheers Fraze: Even if this test don't show it Bea: I don't care what Miss reckons either Bea: and I said you weren't thick Bea: don't need to impress me Fraze: 'Cause Miss don't know fuck all and you're still the smartest person I know Fraze: I ain't trying to impress you, if you are, you are, babe Bea: Didn't say either way Fraze: whatever Bea: how you doing Fraze: give me the answers to the last couple and I'll be alright Bea: really Fraze: Why not? Fraze: what else you doing? Bea: you're such a pisstake Fraze: I'll be your best mate Bea: 😂 Bea: what an offer Fraze: told you I'm funny Bea: funny enough to be bezzies is another question Bea: hmm Fraze: You've got time to think it over, already heard that brag, like Fraze: can have more too if we fuck off after this Bea: yeah Bea: a valid point Bea: we've only got bullshit left today so Fraze: and I've got a headache Fraze: we both know what the best cure for that is Bea: 🍾? Fraze: Exactly Fraze: I got some hidden Bea: See? Bea: smarter than you look Fraze: You can just admit you're impressed now Bea: nah Bea: see how I feel after a few Fraze: there's 🚬 as well Bea: when did you get them Fraze: [throws her a smug look like 😏 IRL excuse him miss whoever] Bea: [looks back and pretends to be 😒 if the teacher looks but can't help but be a lil 😏] Bea: seriously where was I Fraze: [does an exaggerated stretch and puts his feet up on his desk to signal he's done cos pleasure to have in class] Fraze: dunno Bea: ugh Bea: how many have you saved me Fraze: loads Bea: awh Bea: cheers Fraze: What can I say? Great manners Bea: I'll tell your mum Bea: so proud 💘 Fraze: I'll take any good lad points I can get Bea: how many mates are you bringing for those points then? Fraze: For now you'll do Fraze: you really know how to stroke an ego, like Fraze: make a boy feel decent about himself Bea: not what mates are for Bea: you've been doing it wrong boys Fraze: 😂 Bea: I'll put a good word in for you with girls that ain't your ma Bea: how's that Fraze: I don't need your help Bea: sure Fraze: and what makes you reckon they'd listen to you? It'd put 'em off if anything Bea: why would it Bea: rude Fraze: just saying, not your mates, are they? Bea: doesn't matter Bea: everyone knows I'm smart Bea: regardless Fraze: book smart ain't people smart Fraze: they don't know you're that Bea: don't patronize me Fraze: don't be patronized when I ain't being Bea: yes, you are Bea: like I'm some stunted loser that can't speak to people Fraze: I'm saying none of 'em ever have a clue what's going on, that's it Bea: no shit Fraze: So get over yourself, it weren't about taking the piss out of you Bea: fuck off Bea: what was it about then Bea: telling me shit I already know Fraze: you fuck off Fraze: one rule for you, yeah? Bea: Asking where your fucking glasses are isn't patronizing Fraze: Treating me like a fucking kid is Bea: you act like one Fraze: fuck you Bea: seriously Bea: you can't see, just put them on, it's not hard Fraze: mind your own business, it's not hard Bea: fine Fraze: good Bea: bye then Fraze: Jesus, they're broken, alright Fraze: are you happy now? Bea: No Bea: how broken though? Fraze: am I fucking optician like? Bea: well is it the frame or the lens'? Bea: because we can fix the frame Fraze: If I put 'em on I'd look like the kitchen window after Joe took that wanky free kick and busted it but I said it was me Bea: Hmm Bea: okay, so you need to tell your ma and yeah she'll have a go about looking after your shit better but under 16s are free so it won't be massive drama Bea: until then we can steal one of those carbon copy pads from the art room, easy two sets of notes Fraze: That's actually a decent idea Fraze: first one you've had Fraze: almost reckoned you'd lost the knack, babe Bea: piss off Bea: you know I hadn't and how often I have them Fraze: don't make me actually laugh Bea: no laughing matter, boy Bea: you're such a 🃏 Fraze: [drumming the tune of ace of ♠s with his pencil on his desk so she can hear cos pleasure to have in class again ha] Bea: wow wanna start a band Bea: sure Joe will be in Fraze: 'Cause what he needs is more groupies Fraze: fuck that Bea: 😂 Bea: idk if he's there yet Bea: or they'd like that term Fraze: can we get out of here yet or what? Bea: Oh so you think we're cool again Bea: just 'cos I've solved all your problems Fraze: Come on, you know you wanna go Bea: Maybe Fraze: You don't wanna be stuck here, ain't no maybe about that, babe Bea: alright Bea: let's go Fraze: yeah Bea: can we 🚬 before we run Fraze: 'Course Fraze: who the fuck do you reckon you're asking, like? Bea: 😏 Bea: alright Bea: calm down Fraze: That ain't really me either, is it? 😏 Bea: 😱 are you saying I don't know you that well after-all? Fraze: you ain't got nothing to prove to me Bea: damn right Fraze: [let's say the bell goes so they can leave] Bea: [hit up that smoking spot lads] Fraze: [5ever a mood but don't get caught thank you] Bea: [don't need that today they'd be pros by now] Fraze: [when you're so little still but so grown oh my heart] Bea: [probably the youngest there awh] Fraze: [they so would be, little badasses that can hold their own and Bea is the smolest lil egg] Bea: [when you're cute so sketchy older boys always let you hang its just a thing] Fraze: [and when you could beat older lads in a fight and probably have] Bea: [#squad] Fraze: [gotta go get the booze from the hiding spot, probably buried Alaska style ha, none of the rest of y'all are invited bye] Bea: [toodles] Fraze: [where should we send 'em? playground or somewhere more secret so they won't get spotted?] Bea: [hmm probably be snekky] Fraze: [good plan] Bea: [I don't think Rocky has been born yet so they could attempt the house first lol] Fraze: [oh yeah good point let's send 'em there first and then they can always run if they think they hear someone should we want] Bea: [risque, they would, also not a huge walk] Fraze: [exactly dr phil] Bea: [okay so it is a bit cliche but in a good way I think, 'cos usually these moments are like you're for some reason close enough to kiss and then you just look at each other after a MomentTM and it's like welp, anyway, what if one of the 'rents does pop back for something so they have to get in a wardrobe sitch and hide 'til they gone?] Fraze: [omg yes because I call bullshit on adults/teens fitting in most wardrobes when peeps try and pull that shit but she's smol so believable] Bea: [he'll have to crouch but deal boy] Fraze: [love that for him haha] Bea: [even closer casually] Fraze: [when you're gonna have to get out and pretend none of it ever happened] Bea: [oh lads, good times] Fraze: [story of years of their lives literally] Bea: [soon children] Fraze: [Ali's cat should do something to almost lowkey give away their location since there's no dog yet, remember when Clove was throwing herself at the door lol] Bea: [heheheheh oh bluebs at least you will be ignored orrrr we could get 'em in trouble, means they wouldn't get chance to gloss over in person so we could do awks convo on messenger later] Fraze: [okay so he makes 'em go to work with him and to separate 'em for our own ends we could say Bea is counting stock in the back and he's cleaning up somewhere else idk pub stuff] Bea: [yes, that about sums it up, just in such bad moods lmao you could've been shame-walked into school] Fraze: [at least we can start 'em complaining] Bea: why have you got an easier job Fraze: how'd you reckon? Bea: there's 0 thought involved Bea: I may as well have stayed in school Fraze: there's loads of 💪 involved Fraze: wanna swap, like? Bea: 🙄 Bea: obviously not Bea: how would I manage Fraze: You're a girl, be fucked if you couldn't hack cleaning Bea: you're such a twat Fraze: Don't mean I'm wrong Bea: doesn't mean you're right either Bea: rude doesn't mean it's a harsh truth automatically Fraze: 'Course not but this one's bang on Fraze: Look at my Ma, spends her life picking up after us lot Bea: that's her choice Bea: don't have to be a mum Fraze: you don't wanna then? Bea: no Bea: why would you Bea: like you said, all she does is pick up after us Fraze: must be more to it than that or no fucker would bother Fraze: don't get nearly enough handouts to be in it for the cash Bea: nah don't be thick Bea: most are accidents Bea: or to fix the fuckups with the previous Fraze: Pretty obvious which I fall into, golden boy too Fraze: It don't need to be your turn to tell me shit I already know now, just 'cause you're bored Bea: not shattering any illusions Bea: but you asked so Fraze: I asked about you, not what the standard is around here Fraze: I ain't planning in following in any of these fuckers footsteps Fraze: or coming to 'em for childcare tips Bea: and you think I am? Bea: not one for the parenting books but could be worse I guess Fraze: you ain't talking about moving the goalposts, babe Fraze: why wouldn't you if you can do it better Fraze: goes for anything Bea: I can think of plenty of things I'd rather do Fraze: Me too but eventually I'll have done all them Bea: you gonna be one of those middle-aged dads running around after a toddler then Fraze: Be rude not to knock out a few with my supermodel missus before I run off with the hot nanny, like Fraze: give her something to remember me by and shit to do when the work dries up Bea: 😂 Fraze: what you laughing for, don't you reckon it's a good plan? Bea: I reckon you shouldn't repeat that to anyone else Fraze: alright but you should've said you were that desperate to have a secret with me 'cause I reckon I could've done loads better Bea: I'd hope so Bea: that's kid's stuff, like Fraze: you done treating me like one then? Bea: depends Fraze: on? Bea: you Bea: not acting like one Bea: obviously Fraze: I don't, obviously Bea: okay Fraze: come on, say it with feeling, babe Bea: Maybe when there's some proof Fraze: are you out later? Bea: are we allowed out later is the question Fraze: it's only the question if you're a little kid Fraze: I'm going, come with Bea: where? Fraze: you'll see if you ain't too scared of my Ma's wrath, like Bea: yeah right Fraze: I dunno, sounded like you were gonna pussy out there then Bea: I just don't like to waste my time Bea: nothing wrong with that Fraze: I don't waste your time Fraze: ain't ever Bea: didn't say you did Fraze: If I invite you out it's worth going and I did Bea: alright Bea: we can see Bea: not like homework is much to compete with Fraze: Cheers for ranking me above it, know how much of a swot you are Bea: shut up Fraze: Like to see you try and make me Fraze: just keep counting, babe Bea: easy Bea: you're clearly working hard enough to lecture me Fraze: Thought you might be missing Miss Bea: you're the one who wants her to be your first cliche Fraze: Nah, just 'cause she's missing me don't make it mutual Bea: 😏 Fraze: what can I say? Pleasure to have me in class is all hers Bea: definitely not the rest of ours, like Fraze: I'm well gutted I don't make your day Bea: Obviously Fraze: Yeah Bea: I'll survive Fraze: you and me both Bea: thank god Fraze: I told you there's no need to tell me shit I already know and how lost you'd be without me falls under that Bea: you reckon Fraze: Obviously Bea: Mm Bea: anyway Fraze: 😏 Bea: shame all these bottles can't go missing Fraze: but a few of 'em could Bea: you reckon Fraze: don't you reckon? Bea: I don't wanna fuck over your dad Bea: but I am doing stock so realistically Bea: one or two wouldn't be missed Fraze: one or two ain't gonna bankrupt him Fraze: it'll only matter to us Bea: okay Bea: I'll put them behind the bins, don't forget Fraze: I won't Bea: I ain't sharing with every fucker either Bea: make it last just me and you okay Fraze: 'Course Fraze: they ain't sticking their necks out, that's me and you Bea: right Bea: exactly Fraze: we'll ditch 'em easy Bea: always do Bea: though they're pretty persistent, give 'em that Fraze: Pleasure of your company, babe Bea: 'Course Bea: never mind if they get a sniff of booze or cigs Fraze: there's the secret you wanted then Bea: Yay Bea: let you off for telling me what I already know there as well Fraze: Playing nice for as long as the stolen goods last, yeah? Bea: I'm doing the actual stealing Bea: you gonna snitch? Bea: doubt that Fraze: fuck off Fraze: I ain't that cunt Bea: I know Bea: I'm saying, I don't need to play nice Fraze: You don't know how Fraze: It's why I'm miss' fave even though you get all the gold stars Bea: 😂 Bea: don't make me laugh Fraze: why not? Fraze: we ain't in that much trouble Bea: because I don't wanna Fraze: come on Bea: why? Fraze: why not? I asked that first Bea: Because I'll look insane Bea: in here on my own Bea: stocktake isn't the height of hilarity Fraze: stop before you get hysterical, like Bea: har dee ha Bea: you're never that funny, boy Fraze: You never get me in that good of a mood Bea: who does Fraze: I'll let you know when I meet 'em Bea: so sweet Fraze: shut up Bea: no, I mean it Bea: so adorable Bea: 💘 Fraze: and I mean it, shut up Bea: so sensitive Fraze: don't take the piss Bea: calm down Fraze: don't fucking tell me to calm down either Bea: jesus Bea: what's the issue Fraze: what's your issue? Bea: Nothing Bea: I'm fine Bea: you're being weird Fraze: You're being more of a bitch than standard Bea: Not really Bea: you're being more of a pussy Fraze: No I ain't Bea: sure Fraze: I'd be a pussy if I let you bullshit and didn't say fuck all Bea: What's your point here? Fraze: Why do I need one but you're a twat for the sake of? Bea: I ain't but whatever Bea: this has been boring for too long Fraze: Yeah, that shit we can agree on Bea: great Bea: happy days Fraze: what do you want? Bea: nothing from you Bea: I am going to see if I can go Bea: homework would be a better use of my time Fraze: He's a pushover, mention a deadline and he'll be convinced Bea: Yeah Bea: I've met him before Fraze: One of those involved, toddler chasing da's, like Bea: Not old though Bea: or a total cliche Fraze: Let him know, there's worse ways to point score Bea: tah Bea: I reckon I've got this Bea: you get in trouble much more than I ever do Fraze: see you later then Bea: TTFN Bea: I'm taking the bottles Fraze: whatever Fraze: they're yours Bea: I mean you don't need to try and get them in the car with your dad Fraze: like I was worried Bea: I'm not asking for a thanks, I'm just saying, they're gone Fraze: alright Bea: ✌ Fraze: Go do your homework 🤓 Bea: you as naive as your dad? Fraze: don't be stupid Bea: then don't take the piss Fraze: so sensitive Bea: so funny, you Fraze: I keep telling you Bea: Trust me, I know Bea: you've got more planned than talking tonight, yeah? Fraze: I ain't planning on doing any talking Bea: then I'm still in Fraze: you weren't ever out Bea: so sure Fraze: yeah Bea: well Bea: you know there's nothing better to do around here Fraze: obviously, I live here too Bea: 💔 Fraze: You sound it Bea: not as much as you Bea: gutted Fraze: Nah Bea: mhm Bea: 👑🍀 Fraze: Have a drink, it'll make you less of a wind up Bea: brave Bea: I could drink through your share Fraze: Like I said, its yours Fraze: I didn't do fuck all Bea: you would've if you could so Bea: only fair Bea: I didn't get the cigarettes or drink earlier did I Fraze: whatever Fraze: we didn't get to drink much earlier, barely counts Bea: need a better spot Bea: somewhere between home comforts and hiding from cops/nosey concerned citizens god knows where Fraze: I'll think of something Fraze: like you said, don't need my 🧠 for what my da's got me doing Bea: still more fun than double english, yeah? Fraze: Well yeah Fraze: 'course Bea: so no need to complain, like Fraze: I'm just saying, I'll sort it Fraze: no more interruptions Bea: no more wardrobes Fraze: don't need neckache and a headache, like Fraze: it ain't gonna keep me off school tomorrow Bea: have as much chance as growing pains Bea: no sympathy for your plight Fraze: they are fucked though Fraze: not that you'd know Bea: don't take your rage out on me Bea: you can reach the top shelf Bea: there are no perks to being small, lurch Fraze: 'course there are Fraze: you can get away with loads of shit Fraze: just 'cause you look cute Bea: well you fucked that from the off being born a boy Bea: no one would be calling you cute Bea: maybe your ma 💕 Fraze: 😂 Bea: 😏 Fraze: you home yet? Bea: yeah Bea: still a while before the others descend Fraze: give the cat a swift kick for us before they do Bea: I'm not committing animal abuse for you Bea: I won't feed it, because I'm certain it does not need it Fraze: shit partner in crime you are Bea: excuse you Bea: maybe we should go over the approved and not crimes, like Fraze: too late for that, ain't it Fraze: you know too much to just be replaced Bea: you're really gonna murder me to end it all Fraze: don't take the chance Fraze: behave better than that snitch of a cat Bea: 😒 Bea: you've got more chance 💀 me than telling me to 'behave' Fraze: lucky I don't want you to then Fraze: tonight'd be proper boring Bea: yeah? Fraze: yeah Bea: your friends ain't MY favourites but Bea: bit harsh from you Bea: they'll be 💔 Fraze: don't make me laugh Bea: come on Bea: why not Fraze: you got out, I'm still pissed at you Bea: no you are not Fraze: already aced one test today, fancy your odds? Bea: it's subjective Bea: no proving it either way Fraze: take me at my word that proves it Bea: but you're also saying you still wanna go out later so that contradicts it Fraze: I don't have to like you to have a drink with you Bea: but you do Fraze: don't flatter yourself Bea: fuck off Fraze: you first Bea: why are you bothered Bea: you don't mind being at the pub Bea: I know your dad ain't working you to the bone Fraze: Still don't compare to being home alone doing whatever you want Bea: don't worry, not like I've got time to throw a massive party Fraze: not like you would Bea: you don't know Fraze: bullshit Fraze: I know you Bea: obviously not Fraze: are you kidding yourself yet babe 'cause you ain't me Bea: you're such a dick Fraze: why are you bothered? Fraze: you don't need to impress me Bea: I'm not trying to Bea: I'm telling you how it is Bea: you're rude Fraze: to you 'cause you are to me Bea: oh yeah 😂 well special Bea: you're a delight to everyone else Fraze: unless there's a gun to your head, feel free to fuck off then Bea: I have Bea: be more mad about it Bea: not gonna be here when you're back, easy Fraze: What's your problem today? Fraze: you were alright earlier Bea: yeah well Fraze: What? Bea: forget about it Fraze: So you can avoid me, fuck that Bea: I don't appreciate being called a loser by you Fraze: I never said you were Bea: Bullshit Bea: you've been doing nothing but Fraze: Bullshit Bea: whatever Fraze: it's not Fraze: I ain't mates with no losers, you know Bea: well you don't like me do you Fraze: Don't be thick, it don't suit you Bea: Couldn't if I tried Bea: but thanks, that was ALMOST a backhanded compliment Fraze: Shut up, I just said I like you Bea: good Fraze: You gonna stop sulking now then? Bea: I am not sulking Bea: quit whilst you're even Fraze: Whatever Fraze: Are you gonna run off when I get back or not then? Bea: No Bea: dead giveaway, your dad ain't that much of a pushover Bea: your mum needs to see we're in before we ain't Fraze: so you are scared of her Fraze: knew it Bea: again, no Bea: idiot Bea: I'd just rather not get caught Fraze: we won't Fraze: she ain't caught me out doing anything for ages Bea: let's not get hyperbolic Bea: 🐈 managed it today so Fraze: yeah but if my Ma had been home she wouldn't have given a shit what the cat was doing Bea: maybe Fraze: come on, you know she'd have been in and out well before my da Bea: that has nothing to do with how clever you are Bea: or stealth Bea: so don't be cocky Fraze: never said that one did Fraze: I've got loads of other examples though Fraze: probably half of which you were there for Fraze: it ain't being cocky if you can back it up Bea: 😏 alright Bea: the others are back, Joe was on wrangling duty alone so he's in a good mood Fraze: always is Bea: yeah but you forgot, they had play rehearsal so he had to stick around for that joy 😬😂 Fraze: 😂 Bea: they're STILL singing Bea: even if I wanted to do homework Fraze: come walk with me, he's letting me off Bea: you need a chaperone too? Bea: okay Fraze: armed guard, like Fraze: that much of a troublemaker Bea: shh Bea: you're making me laugh and I don't want to encourage any of 'em Fraze: 🤐 Fraze: hurry up then Bea: alright alright Bea: lemme put my shoes on Fraze: you better I ain't carrying you home Bea: weakling Bea: I'm SO small, remember Fraze: it ain't 'cause I couldn't, princess Bea: well that's just mean Fraze: we've called a truce for now, like Fraze: don't mean I'm gonna play that nice Bea: however will I cope Bea: 🙄😏 Fraze: the booze will help Bea: your da recruited you for promotion? Fraze: would if he was smart Bea: trademark it Bea: not sure its an original concept but can work around that Fraze: 👍 Bea: be outside, I don't wanna hang about, like Fraze: alright princess, calm down Bea: k I'll get murdered Bea: you live with that Fraze: I'm not gonna let anything happen to you Fraze: don't be dramatic Bea: when the audience demands it Fraze: what? Bea: you're all about the dramatics, don't lie Fraze: you got my mates with you then? Bea: they didn't come knocking askinf if you could come out to play, no Bea: sorry Fraze: well there ain't any audience to worry about without 'em Fraze: I don't reckon you're that sorry Bea: I don't think you are either Bea: that's more of a story Fraze: if I wanted to piss about with 'em, I would Fraze: I picked you Fraze: end of story Bea: to me, yeah Fraze: I don't owe 'em fuck all Fraze: don't worry about it Bea: do my best Bea: bless 'em 💔 Fraze: you don't know how to do anything else Bea: thought we weren't playing nice Fraze: it weren't a compliment Fraze: sounds fucking knackering to me Bea: that's why I do it, not you Fraze: cheers for falling on that bullet, babe Bea: not for your sake or anyone's but you are welcome Fraze: I know it's for your own sake Fraze: I ain't that much of a div Bea: Good Bea: bit awkward if not Fraze: you ain't the only one who wants to get out Bea: I know Fraze: good Bea: not long now Bea: grand scheme of things Fraze: how'd you work that out? it's ages Fraze: can't believe Da had you counting Bea: Shut up 😂 Bea: so we're about half-way Bea: it's called optimism Fraze: halfway is only nearly done if you're half arsing it, babe Fraze: that's realism or whatever Bea: Stop being pedantic Bea: 🤓 Fraze: I dunno that one, like Bea: trust me, you do Fraze: come on, what's it mean 🤓? Bea: excessively concerned with minor details or rules; overscrupulous. Fraze: 😂 Fraze: you reckon I care about rules? Bea: when it suits you Fraze: I do everything to suit me, why wouldn't I? Bea: Exactly 😂 Fraze: What the fuck are you doing, any slower and you'd be dead Fraze: it ain't that long of a walk Bea: I didn't just drop everything to run, God Bea: I'm basically there Fraze: Legit or the same as how you reckon halfway is nearly done? Bea: 😑 Bea: I can turn around Fraze: don't though Bea: I won't Bea: don't like wasting time, yeah Fraze: I ain't forgotten Bea: Good Bea: [show up hoe] Fraze: [when you can't stop yourself from smiling when you see her though cos that's just how it is Bea: [gurl same even if that wardrobe situation was awkward we all know you're about it] Fraze: [passes her the 🚬 he's been smoking while he waits cos we know she ain't got any] Bea: [nudging his shoe with hers like tah when she takes it, also probably start walking 'cos a pub isn't an ideal place to chill outside of] Fraze: [strutting together but we all know they have to take a detour because fuck going straight home, should we say playground or shop?] Bea: [let's say playground] Fraze: [always here for that, on you go lads, get amongst those older kids you shouldn't be hanging with but are] Bea: ['how'd you break your glasses then?'] Fraze: [shrugs cos he never wants to talk about fights that don't go perfect for him obvs] Bea: [a slight eye roll but changing tact 'when even, then?'] Fraze: ['the other day' be more vague boyyy] Bea: ['when are you gonna drop it on your mum?'] Fraze: ['dunno, depends if Da grasses us up for earlier or not'] Bea: [nods like true life, you know he wouldn't lmao] Fraze: ['I'll tell her tonight if he keeps his mouth shut, like'] Bea: ['gonna bother making up a story or you just gonna ride out the nag?' be thinking 'we had PE today, could say they got broke then'] Fraze: ['see, this is why I picked you over those useless fuckers' nudges her as he says it] Bea: [😏 but genuine under it, nudging back 'could lob a ball in your face for extra realism, if you like'] Fraze: [😏 back but then a genuine little lol] Bea: ['take that as a no' as she's going through park gate] Fraze: ['take it as I ain't as sure of your aim as you are, babe'] Bea: [scoffs 'if that were true, you'd be happy to let me try, duh'] Fraze: ['Fuck that, I'm saying you'd go too far 'cause you've been waiting for the chance to hurt me, not that you'd miss'] Bea: [evil smile like damn you got me but shakes her head and heads for an available swing] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah I keep saying I know you and throws someone off a swing so he can have the one next to her #truelove] Bea: [we all love a swing moment] Fraze: [soz random kid but she ain't your bae] Bea: [at least it won't be an actual kid this time of day lol, should be wearing school skirt for that moment of letting it fly but not showing your knickers, aka a dangerous game] Fraze: [yassss] Bea: [casual see how high you can go contest always] Fraze: [we should let her win cos he'd hate that but also be impressed af obvs] Bea: [heheheheh] Fraze: [he can jump off further though that'll please him] Bea: [yeah you don't need to be doing that in whatever lowkey heels you tryna wear to school bitch] Fraze: [don't hurt yourself bab] Bea: [there should be dickhead teens doing something dickheadish 'cos always] Fraze: [100%] Bea: [they'll have to walk away anyway 'cos not sharing their spoils so byebye] Fraze: [run babies run, take her sleeve and go boy] Bea: [that backpack be rattling a girl came out prepared] Fraze: [boy gotta offer to carry that cos gentlemanly you know] Bea: ['I managed this far, like' but gives it him anyway 'cos you may as well honey] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah that's the point it's my turn now cos you've done your share] Bea: [gives him a look like cute] Fraze: [gives her a look like shut up] Bea: [lil lol] Fraze: [another genuine smile cos happy to be with the bae] Bea: [just talking about whatever shennanigans he missed at home] Fraze: [and he's filling her in about shit she missed at the pub it's like honey how was your day lol] Bea: [god bless 'em] Fraze: [when they are already a better couple than drow] Bea: [at least that's a ways away for everyone rn 'cos no one is less here for it than Bea] Fraze: [thank god ro and ali are living their best spooky kid lives rn] Bea: [they might be about to get separated tho? like soz] Fraze: [not yet I don't think cos it's when they 11ish and we said Rocky ain't born yet here but soon lads] Bea: [a few years then, defs living your best lives] Fraze: [we also need to think of a place for them to hang out like the hideaway way back when lol but more legit] Bea: [yes, like an allotment or a dump/wasteland moment, something not yours but shelter is there] Fraze: [that's 100% the vibe I was thinking too] Bea: [unless I can think of anything more specific we should go with that, I know in certain spots 'round here cars get stolen and left a lot so they could probs chill in them as and when they're found] Fraze: [oooh that's such a mood] Bea: [contaminate a crime scene honey] Fraze: [lol crack on kids, you know he's gonna open the door for her like a gentleman bye] Bea: [just giving him a look that's like amused like she's so over it and he's silly but also like oh and a LOOK 'cos we know] Fraze: [shamelessly giving her a LOOK back cos when has he ever given a fuck everyone knows he's in love with her at this point] Bea: [checking all the compartments in case they missed any good loot but probably not, maybe there's a lighter though] Fraze: [I approve wholeheartedly cos they'd be buzzing] Bea: [such sweet babies] Fraze: [I just keep screaming inside cos they're so young but crack that bottle open boy] Bea: [I hope you took something paletable girl] Fraze: [we know she knows her shit thanks creepy old dudes of the past] Bea: [truly, and can handle it so no embarrassing moments on that score] Fraze: [literally she'd be better than him on it but his pride and need to keep up would stop him from being cringe either] Bea: [you got this boy, she wouldn't let him get schwasted anyway lbr] Fraze: [not when you've gotta go home and tell Tess about your glasses boy] Bea: [exactly so they won't be knocking it back hardcore just taking that edge off sweaty] Fraze: [it's always one of those days for you two, we get it] Bea: [especially when you had a moment in the wardrobe lol] Fraze: [we all know he hasn't stopped thinking about it since it happened, god bless] Bea: [we should do a drinking game like best day/worst day but not that 'cos he knows lmao but like your funniest mem etc] Fraze: [it can just be happy ones we don't need to hurt ourselves] Bea: [keep it light lol] Fraze: [but don't think about how close him and Joe used to be and all those cute mems] Bea: [exactly it'd still get feelsy and emosh 'cos life they've been living but it isn't like let's go deep into the trauma] Fraze: [#bondingmoment cos you obvs aren't close enough you two] Bea: [its coming boys] Fraze: [imagine the texts from his friends that he's shamelessly ignoring rn] Bea: [boys are so highkey for the squad at that age] Fraze: [and you know he's #leaderofthepack of his school mates that are similar age to him so] Bea: [exactly dr phil] Fraze: [can we do another moment or is that flying too close to the sun?] Bea: [we absolutely can they obvs happen a lot] Fraze: [realistically who do you reckon should instigate it cos might be relevant in the aftermath] Bea: [hmm literally either or not to be annoying about it lol] Fraze: [maybe she should cos then she can also stop herself cos remember those younger years and he can be like wtf] Bea: [solid logic I'm wid it] Fraze: [bonus points if she stops herself before anything's really happened at all cos that bitch like its v subtle and other peeps might miss the cue but he be knowing cos he's that bitch] Bea: [yes absolutely hence you'd feel more awks bringing it up 'cos you could just gaslight him like what are you chatting about lol] Fraze: [literally cos you know that would've happened before on both sides] Bea: [mhmm, bonus of 'we were drunk' when you ain't even] Fraze: [you both know neither of you are even tipsy lads shut up but don't because so real]

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sibillascribbles08 · 6 years

Text

This is a crack fic I wrote the previous night under the influence of alcohol and also under the influence of my terrible friends who kept giving me awful suggestions. There was a rule that I could not delete anything apart from the word I was currently typing.

I am begging you not to take this seriously.

This is the third out of three.

It’s a Ma.rio/TBoL Au somehow

Mario is Manolo, Peach is María, Bower is Joaquín, Wario is Xibalba, Donkey Kong is La Muerte, Luigi is the Candlemaker, Toadworth is Posada, Waluigi is Carlos, Daisy is Carmen, Live Action Bowser is Chakal

SO FUCKIN once upon a time two gods of death? I think were hanging out in the graveyard their names were Wario and Donkey Kong. They’re in the graveyard and talking about a bet. And then they decide they’re gonn place their wager on some kids and who this girl is gonna marry even though she could potentioallly marry someone compeltely unrelated to whatever they’re wagering, whatever. SO anyway. Wario bets on Bowser to marry Peach. And Donkey Kong bets on Mario. Yay.

So um I think Peach lets out a bunch of YOSHIs into the streets and causes a fucking MESSS um Bowser and Mario both fight a big yoshi and manage to beat it yay. But then Peach is getting shipped off to spain because ?? manners.

Boys r sad.

SO GROWING UP montage I think with Mario learning to fight CHOMP CHOMPS and Bowser just learning to fight in general. There’s music.

ANYWYA we get to the first chomp chomp fight for Mario UM Peach ish ome again yes and Bowser for some reason gets to show off before the fight riding on a horse??? or uuuuuh idk what could replace a horse. So everyone’s swooning. The entire stadium is gay. So then Mario comes out with his cape he’s gonna fight the chomp chomp. Manages to write some romantic letter for Peach in there I guess?? however that works, animation cheats. So he doesn’t write Peach’s name in the sand he draws a peach emoji which kinda looks like a butt?

But then Peach swoons anwyay jsut cause. SO THEN Mario’s supposed to stab the fuckin chomp chomp but he doesn’t cause that’d be awful, KILLIN THE CHOMP CHOMPS IS WRONG. WAAAAAH Waluigi cries in despiration.

Crowd bows. Mario gets knocked out by guitar.

Wakes up and his dad, Waluigi is shaming him WAAAH, along with his grandmother, Rosalina. Rosalina calls him a bitch.

SO THEN he sings I’m a Creep by Radiohead and Peach is swooning even more, thinks that’s hat.

OKAY SO WE cut to a dinner at um Toadsworth’s house and um Bowswer is trying to flirt with Peach but he’s sound a little sexist. Peach tells him to piss off and she’s going to feed her ........ birdo cause she’s better company than this.

So Bowser knows he fucked up and Mario starts serenading Peach with a guitar song. AND IT”S REALLY HAT LIKE SUPER HAT OH M YGOOOOOD.

But she don’t kiss him cause meh it’s funnier ot push him like ten feet onto the ground and watch him get crushed by his bandmates. Mario loses a life.

SO then Peach goes downstairs and is going to give Mario his guitar back but Bowser has a sonic ring out CHAOS EMERALD IN IT, ITS” FANCY so then Peach is like oh fuck I don’t wanna fucking commit already I just got home. SO THEN mario stumbles in and he’s like ??? drunk or slightly concussed, and leans on Bowser it’s kinda gay.

Mario gets stabbed loses another life.

So then they argue about who’s better for Peach but BANDITS OH MY GOD IT”S THE GOOOMBITOS THEY’RE COMING. So they go out to fight them but then Bowser shows up out of nowher with some sick kick flips and beats their asses and has some medal of immortality. THE GOOMBAS NOTICE. They flees.

The towsns people think they’re saved and Bowser is a hero. And Peach goes to talk to him because uuuh marriage for the tower??? but also they used to be friends so you might as awell. Toadsworth wants the bowswer D.

So Mario’s moping cause he fucked up he didn’t win Peach over. He gets hit in a head with a pinapple. Rosalina chucks a pinapples at waluigi. CARLOS.

So Rosalina gives Mario the GOOD advice. Sad wah in the background

Bowser takes Peach home actually sincere for once and Peach thinks he’s cute. Mario calls Peach out to the fuckin uh fuck where?? MEET ME BY THE BRIDGE AT DAWN. Peach be like damn that freaky but okay.

Bandit cave scene.

So then Wario’s stressing out cause he’s gonna lose the bet so he sends his snake??? uh thing to kill Mario.

So then there’s a romantic scene on the island with candles and shit. But then the snake shows up and tires to bite Mario but ends up biting Peach instead. So she passes the fuck out. MMMM WATCHA SAY.

So Mario’s fucking devestated carries her comatose corpse DID ANYONE CHECK FOR A PULSE? Bowser is pissed about this I guess. Mario feels like shit even more.

So he wanders back to get his guitar but rain + depression + death god saying you can be reunited with your loved ones makes it sound pretty tempting. So he lets the snake bite him twice yay he fucking dies.

G AME OVER BITCH

OKAY SO he wakes up as a skeleton and gets taken through land of the remembered. I guess Daisy is his mom? So he meets his mom and talks about how he needs to find Peach who should be dead but you know she’s not.

SO they go to the castle which doesn’t look much like a castle but I can’t judge either way. And Mario’s like yo uh Donkey Kong can you help me find Peach but then it’s. . . WARIO!

WAAARIO

so then everyone’s like oh my gosh no and Wario reveals the bet that um Bowser was going to marry Peach so Peach isn’t actually dead shes’ fine uh Bowser smooched her forhead and she’s fine.

So Mario cusses Wario out and Wario flicks him acros sthe room. And the YEETS OUT through the roof.

So then Mario and his family who I didn’t establish just Daisy decide to go to the CAVE OF SOUUUUUUUUUULS so they can find Donkey Kong.

It’s some long journey they climb a statue uh idk what it looks like they get to the top and there’s MAZE with uh death balls YES and the moon from majora’s mask is chasing him. BUT he manages to best it and the skull face door is like YOU’RE HAT COME ON IN.

So they go into the cave of souls. SO LUIGI shows up talking to them and a puddle. And then they all go into the cave of souls full of candles is very pretty. And there’s the Book of Life TITLE DROP AHA and mentions that apparently Mario’s pages are blank case ?? special. fuck you he’s mario.

SO Luigi helps them get to the land of the forgotten.

MEANWHILE I FORGOT UH Peach agreed to marry Bowser to protect the town and uh Chakal is coming anyway fuck no Chakal um giant goomba. LYOU’RE FIGHT FUCK it’s live action bowswer I forgot.

SO in the land of the forgotten they find Donkey Kong who flips the FUCK out when he finds out his husband cheated he’s throwing barrels and shit.

Wario shows up with wine cause he thought htis was adate for HEYAH HE THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA FUCK HIS HUSBAND.

So they argue about this shit bet that was kinda wobbly from the start tbh?? And then Wario agrees to give Mario his life back if he passes a test cause Mario challenges him like a dumb shit.

SO THEN um we have to cut to live action bowser raiding the town and wait so Peach is in the church with Bowser they’re gonna get married but then BOOM I guess osomeone launched a bomb? kind of a warning if they’re gonna raid a town. Is that how Carlos died he just get blown up idk.

it’s a cold and it’s a borken waluigi.

OKAY ANYWAY so Mario’s fighting a bunch of bone chomps chomps ZOMBIE CHOMPS and um then um his dad Waluigi shows up and it’s like bruh you’re dead??????

So MARIO fights this giant bone chomp chomp. and then serenades it with uh despacito. CHOMP CHOMP I AM SORRY. This is sosad.

ANYway so um Mario passes the test and gets sent back to the land of the living while some fight is going on, uh Bowser’s getting his ass kicked by live action bowser. BOWSER FIGHT.

So yeah Mario shows up and smooches Peach YAY and then the rest of his family shows up they’re going to fight the goombas. FIGHT SCENE!!

Mario and Bowser almost kiss.

Peach is getting taken up the tower by live action bowser. So Mario’s gonna go after her and Bowser has to find the medal of immortality. So then they combat dancing they have combat dancing on the roof so then Mario punches live action bowser off the roof, and then UH SOME BOMB DROPED AND THE TOWER IS COLLAPSING. THE A BOMB they all died.

no.

SO Mario and Bowser pin live action poswer to the the wall under htis bell right??? okay so they do that and then MarioOOO pushes Bowswer SO LONG GAY BOWSWER

BOOM

Mario??? fuckin dead? bombomb went off. But Mario emerges alive covered in live action Bowswers bloody chunks.

But he’s alive yay

SO wedding scene some more music and everyone’s happy or some shit

the end

#crack fics #there's so many typos #it's a cold and it's a borken waluigi

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