#but i guess this is a lesson in why it's not ideal to leave a fic unfinished for 8 years

[timelessbian]

*said with clenched fists, through gritted teeth* cringing at something i wrote nearly a decade ago is actually a good thing and i am being so strong and brave by reading it without clawing my eyes out

#been in a weird mood lately and got hit with thoughts about finishing [redacted] but rereading it is...testing my soul to say the least #not bc i think it's BAD it's more that i know i could do it better now bc i've improved a lot in the last 8 years #which like...i'm proud of myself!! a lot of the growth is quite literally visible in the fic itself #but i guess this is a lesson in why it's not ideal to leave a fic unfinished for 8 years #chances are nothing's even going to come of this and i doubt anyone's really still actively waiting for updates #and that's not me trying to fish for anything!! i'm just genuinely rereading and having a Time sjavhbsdvhd #the maddie diaries

[calliesmemes]

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (2008-2020)

SENTENCE STARTER PROMPTS FROM ASSORTED EPISODES OF THE ANIMATED SERIES.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Your father would be proud of you. ”

“   I've loved you always. I always will. ”

“   I said, "On your knees." ”

“   You have a spark of tenacity. I’ll give you that. ”

“   I'm going to get you out of this. Believe me. ”

“   Nothing will ever change. ”

“   This was your great trial. ”

“   Well done; you are a worthy adversary. ”

“   Every time I think about this, I feel conflicted. ”

“   I guess I’ve fooled you like I’ve fooled everyone else. ”

“   Why didn’t you reveal this before? ”

“   I will not deal with those who break their word. ”

“   Lives are in danger. We can't just turn our backs on them. ”

“   If I'm getting in trouble for this, you're gonna share some of the blame, too. ”

“   I hope you know what you're doing. ”

“   Where do you think you're going? ”

“   Everything I know I learned from you. ”

“   Subtlety has never been one of your strong points. ”

“   You haven't exactly impressed me today. ”

“   We don’t deserve this honor. ”

“   What is the matter with you? Are you trying to get us killed? ”

“   There's always a choice! To live in fear is no life at all! ”

“   Our most important allies are not always the most powerful. ”

“   The rules have changed. ”

“   The task is only impossible because you have deemed it so. ”

“   You’re just a pawn! ”

“   I'm enjoying this far too much. ”

“   How come I'm the one getting caught all the time? It doesn't look good. ”

“   They are devious, deceitful, and most importantly, stupid. ”

“   You underestimate them at your own peril. ”

“   I would kill you both right now if I did not have to drag your bodies. ”

“   We have no quarrel with you, and we seek no revenge. ”

“   Control your insolence. ”

“   Violence breeds violence. ”

“   What difference does it make who started the war and who only wants to end it? No side is free of fault. It takes two to fight. ”

“   It is nothing to be ashamed of. ”

“   He was like a father to me. ”

“   Don't lose a thousand lives just to save one. ”

“   A strong belief can be more powerful than any army. ”

“   Sometimes it takes courage to stick to one's beliefs. ”

“   At least I’ve gotten something out of all this suffering! ”

“   You couldn’t be a greater disappointment. ”

“   You seem a bit on edge. ”

“   I hope that their sacrifice brings us closer to peace. ”

“   A great leap forward often requires taking two steps back. ”

“   You did a fantastic job today. ”

“   He expects you to make a full recovery. ”

“   Did you train her not to follow orders? ”

“   I’m gonna do whatever I can to help those people. ”

“   I’ll leave the politics to you. ”

“   Thank you for trusting me. ”

“   I just need you to listen to me, please! ”

“   I was framed, because I know the truth! ”

“   I have proof of it, I can prove that everything I know is true beyond the shadow of a doubt! ”

“   I didn't want this to happen. ”

“   Either you are with us, or against us. ”

“   All this time, your idealism, just lies! ”

“   You know the price of failure. ”

“   Sometimes, things are just that important. ”

“   You should've joined me. ”

“   Hope is something we cannot allow our enemy to possess. ”

“   Today, you learned the hardest lesson a commander can learn: how to live to fight another day. ”

“   You don't have to carry a sword to be powerful. Some leaders' strength is inspiring greatness in others. ”

“   I'm not sure I like this plan after all. ”

“   This turn of events is unfortunate. ”

“   He kinda reminds me of you. ”

“   If we fail, everyone fails! Do you understand this?! ”

“   It may be difficult, but these are difficult times. ”

“   I honor my code. That's what I believe. ”

“   It's refreshing to have good news. ”

“   This can't be happening, what have we done? ”

“   He’s been against us from the beginning. ”

“   It's treason, then. ”

“   A new power is rising. I've foreseen it. ”

“   I serve no one's side, only my own. ”

“   How could you do this? You had my trust! My loyalty! ”

“   You're in a position of power now. How does it feel? ”

“   I can sense your fear. ”

“   You have to learn to make your own decisions. ”

“   What's the point of all this? I mean, why? ”

“   I do know that someday this war is gonna end. ”

“   Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him. ”

“   I tried it once. I wasn't any good at it. ”

“   You need not worry about your friends, they will be quite safe. ”

“   Looks like I have to rescue you again, old man. ”

“   You can't make everyone happy. ”

“   This is a fight you cannot win alone. ”

“   I know I did some questionable things, but I did what I had to do. ”

“   You are the one I was sent here for. ”

“   I have always been greater than you. ”

“   You think you can defeat me? You're nothing. ”

“   Something is rising, something sinister. ”

“   You can't be trusted. You're a slithering liar! ”

“   Do you remember who you are? Where you came from? ”

“   I was destined to become... so much more. ”

“   I'm not sure I've made your acquaintance. ”

“   You may have forgotten me, but I will never forget you. ”

“   I've waited so many years for my revenge, I can wait a little longer ”

“   It looks like I'm here to rescue you. ”

“   When did you become the good guy? ”

“   Don't flatter yourself. You’ve never been much to look at, especially now. ”

“   Always put purpose ahead of your feelings. ”

“   He represents hope and is critical to their success. ”

“   I feel responsible for them. ”

“   We cannot control their fate. ”

“   What a surprise. Have a seat. What may I ask is the honor? ”

“   You are going to pay the price for your treachery. ”

“   You are our secret weapon. ”

“   Only the strongest shall rule ”

“   If you will not join me, you will all die. ”

“   Unfortunately for you, history will not see it that way. ”

“   Let your anger deepen your hatred! ”

“   You can kill me, but you will never destroy me. ”

“   It is more powerful than you know. ”

“   I never planned on killing you, but I will make you share my pain. ”

“   I am most impressed to see that you have survived your injuries. ”

“   How unfortunate that you are attempting to deceive me ”

“   You’re dealing with things you don’t understand. ”

“   I am not going to take the fall for something that I didn't do! ”

“   I do trust you, but you know as well as I do that no one else will believe me. ”

“   I don't know who to trust. ”

“   I would never let anyone hurt you ”

“   You've already made your decision, haven't you? ”

“   We are the ones that should be put on trial, all of us! ”

“   You have shown great strength and resilience. ”

#askbox meme #askbox prompt #rp ask meme #ask box #roleplay sentence meme #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #* sentence meme #roleplay sentence starters #rpc help

[imthepunchlord]

Miraculous Ladybug doesn’t deserve Marinette. Someone save her and place her in a different show

I swear I've heard that some of the crew, and maybe Zag himself, actually were tempted to have Chloe be the lead instead. I know Winnie was a big Chlodrien shipper, I don't know if he still is, but given how much attention and leeway the narrative gives her, yeah might as well let Chloe be the lead.

Marinette exists to be the ideal lead to learn all the lessons and be the punching bag.

If you don't like her, and you're not going to make changes to make her likable for you, why have her as the lead? Yeah, just let her go. The fandom will take her. We took in Felix who was "the worst", we can take in Marinette.

I will say, s6 may be the chance of change and maybe improvement? Cause Thomas Astruc will no longer be apart of ML post s5. That for sure means a change in Adrien as a character and his writing, as I heard that only Thomas was allowed to write Adrien cause every other writer wanted to have Adrien react and get upset with his father and how he treats him but Thomas wanted him sad boy constantly bowing his head.

So now, s6 and onwards, we'll probably see Adrien with a backbone.

And by extension, no Thomas pushing his vision and agenda, that does mean the crew and Zag can now make the desired changes they want to make. Marinette I would see still sticking around as she's very iconic as a lead, but there may be some personality changes.

But at this time, it is hard to say how it's going to go.

I will say the movie over all was actually really good and I'd stand by that, at this time, it's the definitive Miraculous to watch: the HM arc is resolved in one setting, there is LS fluff but it doesn't take over the focus, and it gave us the Agreste plot resolution we wanted to see.

Only real gripes are supporting characters are more set to the wayside, especially Alya, Nino, and Plagg; presumably we're going to get a sequel, so maybe with the LS out of the way, reveal done, and dating, that sequel will focus on Alya, Nino, and I guess Chloe more. Or maybe it'll be Sabrina since the movie actually took a stance on Sabrina's feelings around Chloe and how she feels about Chloe treating others. So there is potential there for something more to be done with Sabrina.

I am also bummed about the concept opening scenes getting cut as those were so good for the Dupain-Cheng family.

Either way, with the movie coming out actually being good, there is a chance that s6 could be the start of Miraculous' quality improvement with Thomas Astruc's absence. It really could be that he's one of those creatives that had a good vision, but poor execution of it.

A part of me also wouldn't be surprised if Zag took the chance to hit the reboot button and start over, and milk it more. I don't think it'd happen but it's in that realm of possibility.

So with s5 done and Thomas Astruc no longer involved, this is the time for Zag and the crew to make any changes they want, for better or for worse. Until it starts airing, we just got to wait and see.

#ask Punchie #technically this is their time to cut Marinette as a lead #but I don't think they will as she is the face of the franchise #but who knows #ml salt #thomas astruc salt

[vrmxlho]

bruh i posted my fucking hcs while i was in middle of writing them 😕 anyway here it is copied and pasted:

omg aiku is so fucking ajfsdkhjbf every time i see him i go feral,,,, ALSO YES MORE PEOPLE NEED TO READ GOKURAKUGAI THE ART IS BEAUTIFUL +++ i'm pretty sure this is gonna be ooc because i'm really just making shit up so i apologise in advance lmaoo +++ also im sorry its so short i have no idea what to write 😭

cw: swearing + not proofread because who wants to relive this nightmare??? + probably really ooc but this is my blog so i will do as i please honestly 😒 + suggestive but nothing sexual

LEONARDO LUNA レオナルド・ルナ

his love language is either physical touch or giving gifts

he absolutely adores holding you and he always physically on you, either an arm over your shoulder or a hand on your knee, sometimes he even makes you put your legs on his simply because he likes it that way

but at the same time he is 100% the most infuriating person alive and he prides himself in being annoying

at least he's funny ig

he's constantly teasing you, flirting with you excessively

if he hadn't already told everyone in his life that you were his s/o people would've still been able to guess as much

he's like an annoying puppy who always follows you around asking you to play

he's also incredibly petty, like if you ignore him by mistake or leave him on read because the conversation had ended he's purposefully going to do the same to you

even if the subject of the conversation is actually quite important

nothing can get in the way of his pettiness

"leo, can you please fucking answer me???" he only looked at you briefly before continuing with his stupid hair. it had only been like this for about five minutes but you honestly felt like it had been a century. he was being so fucking annoying. "leonardo luna i swear to god, if you don't fucking answer me this instant i'm going to bash your head in." "i'd still be really attractive though, so i don't really-" "will you please stay on topic for once in your life?" "annoying isn't it?" "THE CONVERSATION HAD ENDED YOU SAID 'OK' AND THAT WAS THE END WHAT ELSE WAS THERE TO ADD????" "you can always add an 'i love you'." "boy. be fucking for real."

forgot to mention that he's also rlly vain

by that i mean he pretends to be vain

he pretend to care about his looks more than he actually does because he thinks its funny

it is sometimes

i am a firm believer that he was one of those kids that was fascinated by the ocean and just any type of water body

he wanted to pursue geography and maybe be a marine biologist before he became a football pro

that's why is his ideal date is renting a boat and going to sea caves to scuba dive in

he insisted on the two of you taking scuba diving lessons together because he wanted to swim with sharks and sea turtles

i feel like he was a summer baby, specifically a leo

because my irl best friend is a leo leonardo

he's also the type to collect shells and make shell necklaces for you

once tried convincing you to change your name to sally and start a seashell business because he thought it would be really funny???

concerning

he's naturally funny but at times he says the dumbest things unironically

his favourite way to destress is to have long bubble baths with you while you both chatter about your day

not necessarily in a sexual way

he just enjoys being physically close to you while also being surrounded by water

leonardo luna was exhausted. you could tell as soon as he entered the house. his usually bright and blindingly positive aura had dulled. his eyes looked distant and he walked with a sway. fatigue made his limbs heavy and he hummed softly before he collapsed on the sofa. "are you okay? leo?" he had already begun snoring slightly when you finally reached him. you chuckled a bit. you wouldn't mind leaving him like this. he looked so cute. his silky hair falling gently on his nose and his cheeks a bit red from the slight chill in the air. but he smelled. reeked of sweat. he must've been too tired to even shower after practice. you weren't about to let him sleep in his sweat, it was simply gross. so first, you tried pulling him off. but not only was he a massive man who weighed a lot more than the usual groceries you carried. he was also resisting making it even harder for you make him budge. so you kissed his forehead, hoping it would wake him up. nothing. this time you pinched him. which worked, because now he was stirring. he opened his eyes which burned with anger and frowned at you. "come have a shower with me." suddenly his eyes were wide and bright again. he basically jumped off the sofa and carried you to the bathroom. he was tired but he didn't mind the extra exhaustion that would come from carrying another human being, since it was you. as soon as you got to the bathroom he basically ripped your clothes off and you were in the shower giving him a massage. then washing his hair and running your hand over his back soothingly. he didn't look tired anymore, it seemed like your presence had woken him up. or perhaps he just didn't want to miss out on your touch. "how was practise?" "couldn't stop thinking about you."

his kisses are always hot and passionate

loves holding your face when he kisses you

as if its the last time he will

he loves how his hands are big enough to hold your entire cheek

your first kiss wasn't awkward at all except for the fact that it was in front of the paparazzi because he loves PDA

unless you genuinely hate it he's always holding your hand in front of the cameras, kissing you, full on making out and everything

is a failure in the kitchen but is surprisingly good at following instructions

you'll never have to cut an onion when he's around!!

real men cry 👍

OLIVER AIKU 愛空

you've made it

you are now dating the hottest man on earth, the biggest playboy in the world has settled down

cuz you're just as hot

but that's exactly what makes him so possessive and jealous

it's not that he doesn't trust you he's just a little insecure, why else do you think he always broke up with his previous flings?

he's scared that if you got to see him for who he really was (as if you haven't already ☠️)

however, whenever he sees you talking to someone he doesn't particularly like he'll come up beside you and pull you close to him by the waist

and if you look uncomfortable he'll literally take you to another setting so you feel better

his love language is words of affirmation!!

he loves hearing how much you love him and how much you wanna spend time with him and how you'd kill for him

but at the same time he absolutely loves teasing you and making you get all flustered

oliver had been feeling down. he didn't really know why. it was 3am and he had this deep pit of despair in his stomach. you looked so peaceful on the bed, sleeping softly and scrunching the blanket up a bit. "how can someone so perfect want to be with me?" "if you're going to be so depressing i might actually break up with you..." you had turned around to stare at him with your tired barely open eyes. you weren't a light sleeper per se but your deep connection to aiku meant that you could feel something was off even if you couldn't see if with your own eyes. "sorry, did i wake you?" he moved back into bed. pulling the sheets over you a bit. "you know i love you right? and i wouldn't even dream about leaving your or whatever you were worrying about." "but-" "no, shut the fuck up. it's late," you pulled his arms around your body and placed yourself right onto his chest, " and i'm cold, so do your job. warm up the bed."

bought you an emerald promise ring after the first date because he instantly fell in love with you and he's suddenly discovered that he was actually a big romantic

(emerald to represent his left eye, left being the side the body your heart is in)

as a playboy, the first date was all a ploy to impress you but also give the impression that he wasn't available so breaking things off or ghosting you wouldn't be a hassle

he took you to a fancy restaurant

for once he wasn't two timing you

anyway after all this he took you to the beach to go on a walk where he asked you if you wanted to go skinny dipping

it was his first challenge, if yes, it would be fun, if no, then he had a reason to break things off with you

but the look of indifference you gave him made him crave more

he could already feel his cheeks heating up and from that day onwards he couldn't stop thinking about you like at all

after you got into an actual relationship you both avoid going back to that restaurant because of just how dull that night was

now your dates consist of going to the arcade, doing some karaoke and then maybe watching a movie while living off of buttery popcorn

he honestly has such a beautiful singing voice

would definitely be an idol if he weren't a footballer

he's a huge ABBA fan i can feel it in my soul

his ideal date is having a picnic by the beach and then playing beach volley until you both decide it's too hot and go for a swim

honestly any summer activity would be his ideal date

oliver aiku was probably breaking countless laws right now. it was the end of summer, the nights were short but warm with the skies clear, starry and gorgeous. aiku wanted to celebrate by firing his homemade fireworks he had spent about 2 months making. and you were certain that this was illegal. but he didn't care. "oli- i don't think this is safe..." "don't worry about it, i'm here to protect you." you could almost hear the smirk he was wearing. "you're no lawyer, i won't be breaking the law with you." "oh you're no fun." he looked at you with fake disappointment. frankly, if you weren't in a good mood you would've just left him to his frolicsomeness but you were also sort of intrigued. you really wanted to see what two months of firework building could get you. "make sure we don't get caught." "i'm no amateur love."

likes pulling your hair when kissing

and he's not one to give one quick kiss and run, they need to be deep every single time

pecks on the lips are meaningless in his eyes

he's also one to engage in PDA

he absolutely loves kissing in front of people he dislikes

to sort of one-up them

kisses you all the fucking time for absolutely no reason

you'd think the novelty would have worn off after being kissed so much but it really doesn't

somehow he keeps getting better at kissing

is he practicing behind your back????? (no, i'm jking)

#blue lock #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk #bllk headcanons #bllk anime #blue lock x reader #blue lock headcanons #aiku oliver #oliver aiku x you #oliver aiku x reader #oliver aiku #leonardo blue lock #leonardo luna #luna x reader #bllk oliver #blue lock oliver aiku #blue lock oliver #blue lock aiku #bllk oliver aiku #bllk aiku #bllk leonardo luna #blue lock leonardo #blue lock luna #bllk luna #bllk leonardo #bllk fluff #blue lock fluff #bllk icons #blue lock headers

[wintersmitth]

Hey sorry if I’m a bother but I’ve had a recent experience with a Tankie and I think you’re one of the few people I know who understands the kind of bullshittery I have experienced.

Basically what happened was I saw literal ussr propaganda on my dash and got really upset and in my anger ended up comparing communists to fascists, something I avoid publicly only to not face harassment.

And out comes a Tankie, who basically shamed me and tried to twist my words into something they were not, talked a lot about how “marxists aren’t your enemy” (if that’s the case why invalidate my experiences). At the time I didn’t realize they were a full fledged Tankie, (I later found out they rebloggd posts from Brendaicus, ugh) so I decided to explain my perspective a bit more, didn’t shy away from a few personal details as I do have real life experiences living with people who lived during the ussr (and unfortunately, still believe in some ussr ideals). After explaining myself more and even apologizing (something I regret in hindsight). They once again basically ignored my points as someone who was actually raised by someone born into the ussr, mansplained communist history told me, said a lot of condescending shit like “Y’know a lot of non white countries advocate for communism” Which yes, of course I knew that, at the same time a lot of non white countries like Cambodia, Vietnam, Cuba, Taiwan, etc all suffer/suffered under communism and/or communist regimes but go off I guess.

They got really mad with my constant use of the word Tankie, which they said had no real meaning to it, which is stupid because I know exactly what it means and who I’m referring to when they use it but I guess their brain must be made of mashed potatoes if they don’t understand it. I also called Communists ignorant and they got really offended saying stuff like, “Marxists are some of the most intellectual people I know!” (Nice stroking of the ego there, real humble) They ended their huge paragraph by telling me to read books written by communists and to leave them alone, even though they started the conversation. I just ended up blocking them because tankies just aren’t worth it.

anyway, sorry this whole thing cluttered your inbox but, you’re one of the only people I know who can fully grasp the frustration of this whole thing. I guess the lesson I learned here is to not bother with tankies, or at least, don’t hold back next time, they don’t treat you with the decency you deserve, so why should they deserve any themselves

Much love from a Ukrainian-American! I really do enjoy what you post here!

Hey anon!

I am so sorry you had to have this experience. But it does remind of my own early exposure to tankies. It is such a tankie tactic - to come harrass somebody, deny their experiences, their words, everything they say, and then play the victim. I have had many a frustrating conversations with people, or rather, 'people' who are supposed to be on my side, but?? Just decided they want to deep-throat Stalin's cock.

Thank you for sharing this. But yeah, tankies really are braindead people.

#sansael talks #anonymous #tankies #anti communism

[irukas-son]

Heeey, I recently got into YBC and I'm obssessed sooo, I was wondering how our bi guys (Yuri and Tamura) would confess/ask to enter a relationship with a fem reader?

Thank you very much!

heyyy thank you for request and my deepest apologies for the late response

<3

So for Yuri, I feel like he just… has one, it was never a secret, it just never was brought up. Let’s imagine Jimmy doesn’t exist, he has a lover back in his hometown and if you look CLOSELY to him and his things, you can definitely see hints that give it away, because he’s definitely not hiding it. His Lock Screen is a picture of her, he gets weekly letters from his hometown and the envelopes aren’t the way parents would decorate them… lipstick stains, glitter, Sanrio stickers… they even smell like a girl. Oh and the chokers he wears are definitely his girlfriend’s… or they just share their wardrobe.

For Tamura, it’s definitely different.

He graduated Mori academy and went to a university in a bigger city.

There, he was able to become friends and form a good mixed group. He was cordial with all of them except one girl. He would tease her, bully her even, he once told her she looks like a stapler. She has thick skin though and it never really affected her, she just met him… but she did notice that he didn’t treat anyone else like this. Why her?

Whenever they cross paths, walking alone, he just shies away or looks away. “He must really hate me,” she thinks to herself. But she couldn’t be further from the truth. 

So back in Mori he never had the luck he wished with Yacchan, and definitely didn’t learn his lesson! He still treats his crush the way he treated Yacchan. 

That’s until one of his new friends confronted him about it. “You cannot just call people staplers, Tamura! Go apologize,” a guy took him apart after his comment. 

“Ugh, fine, MOM!” Tamura replied.

“Hey, broom head!” Tamura yelled across the empty corridor where he spotted her. She turned around, and then cursed herself to having recognized herself as “broom head.”

“Ha, you act- uhh,” Tamura stuttered as she looked into his eyes and frowned.

“What?” She snapped back at him, walking towards him.

He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. “I, um, wanted to apologize about the stapler thing and, uhh, I guess how I call you ‘broom head’. Not the coolest thing,” he mumbled the last part. 

She watched him, unsure how to react to the sudden apology. It was surprising, but also brightened her spirits. “Um, okay. Just don’t do it again… I guess?” He whipped up his head, bafflement written on his features. As she took in his appearance, something stuck out to her. 

Was he blushing? Or had he run up the stairs of this building?

“So you forgive me?” He asked… smiling. Like he’d won the lottery or something. What a strange guy… he was still hot though. 

“Why not?” It was annoying, but it wasn’t like he was irredeemable. 

“Oh that’s really goo- I mean, thanks.” A beat passed between them, before he added, “So… what you doing here?”

“Just waiting for a professor for a paper I was clearly not graded properly on, but his office hours are in like 15 minutes.”

“Oh,” he simply said, but it didn’t seem like he was leaving anytime soon. She broke the silence, “Tell you what, let’s hang out at the park. At lunch. So you can make it up for me, deal?”

He smiled again, and she couldn’t help but smile back. He replied, “Sounds good.”

So, after a less-than-ideal meeting with her professor, the lunch shared with a good looking guy almost felt like a reward. In a short amount of time, chatting away with Tamura, delight spread through her.

“So, good date?” she asked as they were walking back to campus.

A blush flooded his face. “I— Uh, that’s what it was?” He laughed nervously. She could’ve almost described him as ‘cute’ in that moment .“Yes, yeah of course.” 

“Great,” she said. They were about to part ways for their classes, but she risked herself in adding, “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

He hummed in agreement. “See you.”

And that's how he got a girlfriend.

#ybc #yarichin b club #ayato yuri #yui tamura

[expended-sleeper]

The Honorable Companions vs. The Murderous Dark Brotherhood: How they Differ, and Why it Matters

One essential aspect I often see ignored in stories dealing with the Companions is that they are NOT just cold-blooded mercenaries for hire. There are specific lines they won't cross, and these lines are important to distinguish because they're the same lines that tell us the difference between the Companions and the Dark Brotherhood. We can identify these crucial aspects of distinction by examining the dialogue and actions of quite a few in-game characters.

So, you have two guilds that both accept gold in exchange for hurting and/or killing people. What sets them apart from each other? Their acceptable targets, and their methods. You can't hire the Companions to kill your neighbor. To beat him up, sure. But not to kill him. We know this because you fail the "Hired Muscle" quest if you kill a target you were just meant to intimidate. When you steal items from shops or generally cause trouble, generic Hired Thugs show up to kill you, not Companions. The bottom line here is that the Companions are not assassins, or even mercenaries that will accept any paying job—just as they have standards for recruitment, they also have standards for which jobs they'll accept.

Methods: this is why Arnbjorn was exiled from the Companions, and why he joined the Dark Brotherhood instead. His methods were too violent for the Circle to accept. If the Companions considered extreme violence acceptable, he'd still be around.

His dialogue:

You are moon-born. You are wolf. So you're a Companion, then? I can't imagine you got your gift anywhere else. I hope you have better luck with them than I did. Oh yes, I was once brother to the Companions. Let's just say they found my methods "unsettling." The Dark Brotherhood, obviously, feels differently."

It's heavily implied here that Arnbjorn's tendency towards excessive violence made him a poor fit for the Circle. He had to seek out a guild of assassins in order to find appreciation for his brutal talents. The lesson we can take from this is that skill at killing alone is not enough to merit the Companions keeping you around: you also have to demonstrate a respect for the company's honorable ideals.

We also have evidence that the Circle keeps an eye out for these violent tendencies in their prospective recruits. The mercenary Uthgerd is barred from joining because she accidentally kills someone during training. Even in this violent world, the Circle isn't willing to tolerate such senseless killing.

Her dialogue:

You must really love to fight. "The heat of battle is the fire that forges the strongest blades. It's an old Nord proverb. That, and a true Nord never misses a chance to test her worth."

Sounds like you've got a grudge. "You been talking to those Companions? "Too hot-headed," they cried. Weak, pathetic cowards, the lot of them!"

Why'd the Companions reject you? "It wasn't my fault! I told them over and over that it was an accident! They wanted me to prove my worth, so they threw me up against a young whelp of a lad, hardly old enough to grow his first chin-hairs. I guess they thought a woman wasn't strong enough to hurt him. I didn't mean for him to die! Why would I want that? I just... lost control."

Judging from this interaction, the Companions are actually less hotheaded than your average Nords. They don't want mad berserkers in their company--they want disciplined warriors that don't let their emotions control their actions. This makes a whole lot of sense when you consider that anyone who joins might eventually become a werewolf. The Circle is aware that maintaining their code of honor is very difficult in the beast form, so they only accept warriors that already have a significant amount of self-control.

When you encounter the Companions, they're in the middle of a schism over this very issue. Aela and Skjor represent the side that says might makes right. They believe their Daedra-granted powers grant them leave to pursue bloody slaughter and revenge. This is a corruption of the company. It's not the way all Nords behave. In fact, the Harbinger is specifically trying to cultivate an atmosphere of cool resolve in the current batch of whelps:

Under Kodlak's watch, losing control of yourself as a Companion is seen as a sign of failure. It got Arnbjorn kicked out, and kept Uthgerd from joining. Perhaps most importantly, it's a sign that you will never be worthy of the beast blood.

Kodlak: "How are the young ones coming along?"

Farkas: "Some are too happy to fight. Blood runs hot."

Kodlak: "I remember when you were the same way. The more they train, the more they'll cool down."

Farkas: "I hope so."

Kodlak: "Just have them focus on the calm in the battle. Control the rage, don't let it control you."

Kodlak and the twins represent the classic ideals of the Companions: honor, integrity, and loyalty. So far they have maintained a tense balance between this code of honor and the violent temptations of the blood.

Dialogue on Kodlak's view of revenge:

Again and again during the questline, members of the Circle are punished for blindly pursuing violent solutions. However, it's also important to remember that their two great acts of violence towards the Silver Hand are both reactions to attacks on members of the Circle, and both attacks are on fortified encampments: Aela and Vilkas are basically attacking bandit forts, not villages of well-meaning werewolf hunters. The first time we encounter the Silver Hand is when they ambush Farkas at Dustman's Cairn. He defends himself and kills them.

Farkas: "Kodlak did not care for vengeance."

Vilkas: "No, Farkas, he didn't. And that's not what this is about. We should be honoring Kodlak, no matter our own thoughts on the blood."

Skjor and Aela alone are the ones who point you towards the Silver Hand fort and commence the slaughter. Given that Kodlak and the twins aren't involved at all, it's probably safe to assume they wouldn't approve of these bloodthirsty activities.

In fact, Kodlak is intensely worried that Skjor's reckless nature will get him killed:

Skjor dies because he rushes ahead and tries to wipe out a fort of Silver Hand on his own. When you tell Kodlak that you and Aela have been attacking the Silver Hand out of vengeance, this is his response:

Kodlak: "You're a strong warrior, Skjor. Your heart is fiery and that serves you well in battle."

Skjor: "Thank you, Harbinger."

Kodlak: "But even the bravest of men consider their actions. I want you to survive long enough to take the mantle."

Skjor: "Don't worry about me."

Aela and I work to avenge Skjor's death."Your hearts are full of grief, and my own weeps at the loss of Skjor. But his death was avenged long ago. You have taken more lives than honor demanded. The cycle of retaliation may continue for some time."

Kodlak dies because you and Aela provoke the Silver Hand into a bold strike on Jorrvaskr itself. You avenge Skjor by killing Krev the Skinner, but then you and Aela go past honor into something far uglier. Vilkas refuses to follow you in order to purify Kodlak's soul, because he feels his honor has been tainted by his own need for vengeance.

Vilkas' words:

"Kodlak was right. I let vengeance rule my heart. I regret nothing of what we did at Driftshade. But I can't go any further with my mind fogged and my heart grieved."

For the Companions, vengeance leads to senseless death and grieving hearts.

The DB questline is about the fantasy of being a morally destitute assassin. The Companions questline is about restoring honor to the Circle, and it treats revenge and violence very differently. These two factions are not the same merely because they're in the same game. The difference between them defines their driving themes and purpose in the larger TES world.

Compare this to the revenge you enact in the Dark Brotherhood questline. You can just slaughter Commander Maro in broad daylight on the Solitude docks, as vengeance for wiping out the Falkreath Sanctuary.

His extreme fear when you show up out of nowhere to kill him is treated as a joke—and this is GOOD, because that's what the Brotherhood is thematically about! Performing ridiculous assassinations on the innocent and guilty alike, and going home at the end of the day to your torture chamber. No punishment, no repercussions, no guilt felt by anyone in the Brotherhood. At no point are you asked to question the morality of your actions, because the story assumes that if you choose not to kill Astrid in the abandoned shack, then your character is fully on board with cold-blooded murder and assassination.

The behavior of characters in a certain setting cannot be reduced to the lowest common denominator of the most ruthless villains. These characters do have moral codes, and that can't be waved away by pointing to the darkest acts of the setting. Sinding is a werewolf that commits horrible crimes under the influence of his curse, and that makes him a very interesting fallen character--however, the Circle would never dare go near him, because he represents the ultimate failure that likely even Aela and Skjor fear: a total loss of control leading to the killing of innocents.

This is WHY the Companions are so potentially interesting to write about. They're in a constant state of conflict between their honorable ideals that place value on restraint and discipline, and the reality of their Daedric corruption that tempts them towards slaughter. Even when they surrender to this pull, however, we have to remember that it is only werewolf hunters that they kill. None of the Circle ever fall even close to the level of Sinding. If they did, they would no longer be fit to be Companions, and they would likely follow a similar path to Arnbjorn.

This isn't me applying real-world morality to Skyrim: this is me comparing the morality of the Companions at their best to the Companions at their worst. The story very clearly indicates which path is the honorable one, and which path gets Skjor and Kodlak killed. There are many shades of gray here, yes. But suggesting that every warrior in Skyrim is acting under the same set of morals does a disservice to the complexity of these themes, and the clear evidence that there are grave consequences for the Circle when they cross such lines and surrender to bloody temptation.

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #the companions #werewolves #lore #vilkas #farkas #aela #kodlak #skjor

[idkanametoputhere]

Deadlines

riddle × overworked!prefect

pronouns: they/them

type: angst

warnings: the reader is literally having a mental breakdown bc of academic stuff (damn they just like me for real)

masterlist<3

let's play a game, shall we? u just gotta answer the question with one of the possible answers below. easy enough, now let's see:

what do you think happens when you put an over-achieving, ex-gifted kid who needs academic validation in a world that they know something about? do they:

a) handle it rationally

b) give up

or c) overwork themselves to the point of neglecting their mental health in order to try and get good grades

if you guessed "c" then ding ding ding! congratulations! you were correct

you see, our beloved ramshackle prefect just so happened to be a gifted kid growing up. they grew up as the kid teachers wanted to have in their class. the kid who easily understood all the class material. the kid who never even got close to failing a test or an exam

they were an honors student in every way possible

which is why being transferred to a new world, completely different from theirs was less than ideal for them

a new world, new lessons, new teachers, new students, new everything. it was like a punch in the gut for them

they spent day in and day out with their nose in a school textbook, trying to understand the material, trying to be at the top of their class, trying to get that close-to-perfect grade on their paper

but it was impossible

you see, being in a new world really messes one up, everything they thought they knew was turned upside down

it was weird, and it sucked for them

but it's not all bad, you know, they made some friends here

like riddle rosehearts for example

with whom they got really close

who also happened to be very interested in their test results..

and just so happened to be dissatisfied with his friend's results..?

uh oh

"prefect I just believe that you could do better. I am aware of how clever you are, but I don't think you are trying enough for it to be shown"

two periods, they only needed around 5 seconds to leave one's mouth and reach the other's ears

but it was enough

oh trust me, it was enough

that was all the prefect needed for their self esteem to crumble. they felt like the earth had been lost from underneath their legs. the one thing they never wanted to hear was told to them , not only by someone they admired, but by a friend

and trust me, it was what broke the camel's back. it was all that was needed

now let's take a look at our prefect nowadays, shall we?

the prefect was in the library, in a more secluded part of it where almost no one went. there were textbooks and notebooks spread on the table in front if them, while others were laying on the floor and on some chairs next to them

in storms the housewarden of heartsylabyul, who was looking for his friend after they missed yet another unbirthday party

"prefect you are still here?" said riddle as he saw the hunched prefect. they didn't even look up at him when answering with a simple humm, a small way of saying "yeah"

"you should take a break. studying is very important, but you shouldn't overdo it" said riddle (you know, like a hypocrite, as if he hasn't been doing the same thing from the prime age of five)

"no no yeah, I just gotta finish this paper and then do a quick essay on mr trein's latest subject, I'll be done by curfew time, I promise"

"prefect, I really do think you should take a break"

"riddle it's fine" said the prefect and you could feel the annoyance starting to appear

"prefect" he replied coldly, it was more like a warning to be honest. they didn't reply, leaving him with only one option, take their books

"hey! what are you doing? give it back!" said the prefect, finally looking up to him. he could see the redness in their eyes and the dark circles under them, both signs of their sleepless nights, and they had more acne on their face, a zign of their anxiety

"prefect you need to take a break"

"no! give it back"

"I'm sorry prefect but it is better for you"

"give it back!" they yelled, slamming the table with the hand that was once peacefully rating on it, as the first tear started to roll down their cheek

"prefect..?" asked riddle in a low voice, slowly getting the book closer to its owner, who was now full on crying

"please give it back" they said quietly, taking shaky and loud breaths. "please"

the desperation in their voice was almost enough to let the so called "red rose tyrant" give the book to them, but he didnt

"prefect are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with concerned as he slowly brought out his hand to put it on the prefect's shoulder. trey did that to him whenever he was crying, it brought him comfort. the prefect though, flinched, making him retreat

"I need the books" they started saying, rubbing their nose with one of their sleeves. "this is due to tomorrow, I still have ten more assignments to do and I can't understand what the fuck we do in crewel's class!" they said quickly, voice speeding up from how much they wanted to say

"and I don't understand even half of it! what are all these plants? we dont have all this back home!" they said, throwing their head back as they were speaking

"and, and it's my fault for not saying that I can't understand the material, but I'm scared!" they said. they were very lucky that the library was almost empty at this hour

"scared?" repeated riddle. "scared! I'll disappoint all the teachers! I'm supposed to be smart, I'm supposed to understand stuff like this very easily" they said, slapping their thigh while doing so, a bad habit of theirs that they had when they were very anxious

"and they all think I'm stupid!" they said, more tears falling down their face. this saying left riddle shocked. why would they think that? they were almost a genius from his prespective

"no you're not" he said. if you couldn't tell comforting isn't really his thing. "yeas I am. I get stuck in the simplest of exercises, I can't understand what I'm reading and I'm struggling to get even the most basic things!" they said

seeing his friend be so anxious was very sad for riddle, but seeing them cry so hard that they could barely breath because of something as simple as two or three numbers on a paper was what broke his heart

and the worst part?

he couldn't do anything to help them

they were drowning right in front of him, and he couldn't save them

the only thing he coukd do is watch them as they were crying and rambling about their stressful deadlines

idk might do a part two if I need comfort or if my next mental breakdown is soon enough

#phantom's writing #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twst disney #twst fic #i just love angst #twst angst #angst #pure angst #riddle rosehearts #riddle twst #riddle twisted wonderland #twst prefect #heartslabyul #twst ramshackle #ramshackle #twst heartslabyul #twst fanfic #fuck school #i love this #riddle rosehearts angst #ramshackle dorm #divius crewel #mozus trein #night raven college #twst nrc #riddle rosehearts x reader #twst second years

[julietasgf]

Your long answers are not annoying. They make me happy 🥺 also I will be answering you today because I have free hours 😚

I saw that post of "damned by the name" and I agree the line hits hard. That makes me wonder what the choice of Sejanus' name must have been like. It may be a family thing (My grandfather was named that...) or I can see Strabo making a conscious choice because the Roman Sejanus ascends socially, was a prominent general and possessed traits he prized such as ambition and perhaps before our baby boy was born Strabo was ready for Vesta to give birth to a fearsome reflection of himself. Ah I digress

I'm on a discord where they usually make the recurring joke that the movie is President Snow's propaganda and honestly I'll start to consider it canon because leaving out the Plinth precisely was getting rid of the worst crimes Coriolanus committed.

He really took it upon himself to ruin that family and on top of that his conflict with them says too much about who he is as a person. And yes please, Sandwich scene haters club, it was horrible and obviously Snow propaganda.

A lot of people think Coriolanus is too smart but they forget he's too dumb too 😭😭, it was hilarious to me when he thought that, I was like jesus christ my brother in law you yourself went to get Sejanus out of the arena he got himself into to honor MARCUS HIS D2 CLASSMATE AND HIS HOME TRADITIONS and you're really surprised his loyalty was there? 🙄🙄

Watching Snow freak out with jealousy because his picture isn't there is my favorite hobby 🤗

I get it too and love that they explored Sejanus and Coriolanus' relationship more BUT I STILL SUFFER BC WE COULD HAVE MORE SCENES TO TRASMIT THE INCREDIBLE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MARCUS AND SEJANUS UGH!!!! 🥺

Release the 4 hour cut!!!! And it better have scenes of the Plinths and Marcus 😤😤😤😤😤

Please tell me about those parallels with Katniss and Peeta, I need to freak out about them too.

By the way I hadn't thought of it like that, Marcus embodying the best and most characteristic qualities of the districts and Coriolanus embodying the ideals of the Capitol and how they both relate to Sejanus who lives trapped between these two worlds *I scream into a pillow*

I need one day to talk about Strabo buying (directly or indirectly as you see it) Marcus just to teach Sejanus a lesson because I think a normal amount about what HAPPENED AT THE PLINTH HOUSE WHEN SEJANUS HEARS ABOUT IT.

*I pull out my wallet* I join the cause. Please Suzanne.

I know she knows, she probably wrote a whole backstory for Marcus that's in some notebook and she should share it with us

YESSSSSSS, YESSSSS EXACTLY BUDDIE UWU

You described perfectly how horrible the zoo scene was from Marcus' perspective, and that interpretation of why he decided not to talk to Sejanus or ask for his help seems very fitting to me, it's canon I swore it

Damn i'ts true, THEY ARE A REVERSAL OF LG AND SNOW AND YES PLEASE EVERY TIME I THINK OF MARCUS HOPING TO END UP LIKE THAT, I LOSE MY HEAD AND MY HEART BREAKS.

The THG characters are special and cool but for some reason I became a little more obsessed with the TBOSAS characters. Is it the tragedy and lack of hope? Who knows

Brazil 🤝 Mexico

Warn every time a colonizer speaks

Also thank you, thank you

I adore that every song I have recommended you have liked and that you can also see THE VISION that is the reasons why I think that song is so Sejanus, like YES buddie understand me

I guess I could recommend songs in English but it's more fun to recommend songs in Spanish just because yes even if I have few in my playlist of Sejanus - Snowjanus etc HAHAHAHAHA

With that I love that Coriolanus loses his head for Sejanus I'll leave you:

Soda Stereo- No existes

Pd: Coriolanus if he wasn't gringo, he is very argentinian coded JUST TELLING

omg you saying this makes me so happy you don't have idea, it's so sweet 😭

yes!!! doomed by the name hits so hard because it reminded me a lot of cien años de soledad, which I've read like some months ago, and the trope of characters not being able to escape the fate that their NAMES carry is so powerful (and so common too, actually; my mom has this thought that names are more powerful than what we think, so she actually searched up mine and my sister's meaning, just to be sure). now, I personally think that sejanus' name came from before him (if I had to guess, a grandfather), but the idea of strabo searching up the meaning and being pleased with it bc of the story behind it. (also, it's heartbreaking the idea that strabo was probably excited for having a son, but he had this very specific idea of what he wanted in a son, and as the years passed by, sejanus got more and more soft, and strabo more and more disappointed, and just UGH)

PLSSSSSS they're so right 😭 you know when at elementary school in history class we usually get the more censored version of brutal historical things that happened? to me that's what the movie is. I was very annoyed at how coriolanus' character got so much better, but not because of him being better himself, but because every other single character got toned down or just straight up got worse than in the book. I mean, clemensia? lysistrata? sejanus? even tigris I feel like they toned her down a bit. the feeling I got, at least, is that coriolanus was made much more likeable than he is in the books, and not only regarding the fact that we don't have his internal monologue, but also because toning down the other good characters, he doesn't seem that bad actually. and again, removing the plinths didn't make explicit how FUCKED UP it was what he did (it rlly reminded me of the song brutus yk, "I don't want what you have, I wanna be you", and plus, the fact that in the book he mocks how sejanus calls his mother ma just to then he himself call her ma after getting her son dead is SOMETHING ELSE)

the sandwich scene is the most remarkable regarding this, because coriolanus taking the sandwich himself to the zoo (and in the movie it being HIS idea) made the purpose of the scene so different than what it was meant to be. coriolanus in the movie is almost sweet to me.

CORIOLANUS IS SO DENSE SOMETIMES 😭 it's the way he'll actually do something smart to then think the most stupid assumptions about lg or sejanus. like, are you getting just now that sejanus' loyalty is with his district and the people he left back home in D2??? coriolanus being jealous over marcus is really something I wish the fandom explored more, there's so much potential for that possessive pathetic man ☝️ especially because it doesn't matter if coriolanus thinks so high of himself, because marcus and sejanus have a conection he'll never have: they're from the same place. they shared the same culture and traditions and that's something coriolanus can really never get to compete at because he simply CAN'T and it would make him foam.

I wish we could've at least have gotten the backstory of marcus helping sejanus with his hurt finger 😭 AT LEASTTTT it wouldn't be enough but it would be something at least (even though I would kill just for the class pic of baby sejanus and baby marcus)

AAAAAA OKAY SO, I have read so many interesting threads and posts about their parallels, but my favorite one is the fact that the first time katniss met peeta was when she was a child and she was hungry, and peeta left the bread behind so she could eat it. they never talked before, and they never talked again until the games, but katniss held this memory with her. it have been so much time, but peeta was kind to her, and he was a boy she never met who was still kind and it marked her enough for her to remember him after so many years. and this DRIVES ME INSANE because it's almost the same storyline we see with sejanus and marcus, and I wonder if it was on purpose or what.

OH MY GOD, PLEASE DO TALK ABOUT IT BC I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW PPL DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT THAT MUCH. like. at a certain point, I understand some of strabo plinth's decisions, I really do, even though most of them are very much not the best. betraying your district for your family's safety and better life? I can see it. but the fact that he got a boy on the hunger games, a boy his son remembered dearly from his childhood, just to teach him a lesson was something else. when I read this, I was thinking what the fuck is wrong with that guy, because genuinely, WHY??? what exactly did he think that was going to happen after it??? if anything, it radicalized sejanus EVEN MORE. but anyway, I do also wonder what happened in that house after the reaping. oh god, poor ma, because she was probably the one trying to keep things calm.

I also do take it as canon since I saw it ☝️ specially when you stop to think that marcus was the only one to not take a sandwich. okay that sejanus says that the plinths are despised in D2, but sabyn, the other tribute from D2, took the sandwich. whatever marcus had going on inside his mind, it was very personal for him to not even react or anything.

I think you hit the nail talking about the tragedy and lack of hope. also, I rlly like that tbosas feels like a twisted fairy tale to me.

HELPP I can't stop remember when a writer on tiktok was showing their translation of the book they wrote and they referred to the european spanish and portuguese translations as EUROPEAN MEXICAN and EUROPEAN BRAZILIAN (and you know what? they were so right actually)

I love it!!! actually, thank you for sending me the songs, I love them so much and love even more connecting characters to songs <33 and I absolutely understand, especially bc I feel like most songs ppl use to associate with characters are so overused (which is not bad by itself, I love associating characters with mitski for example, but GIVE ME SOMETHING NEW, specially songs that are from singers who don't sing in english)

the song is so coriolanus and his possessive ass, and it's even more funny because marcus is literally dead, and if coriolanus saw the pic before he got sejanus killed he for sure would have a beef with a man who is DEAD. also, la polaroid sobre la silla is so so specific but SO GENIUS IN THIS SCENARIO I love you so much

I'M SCREAMING, HELP, BUT YOU'RE SO RIGHT- this is even more funny bc once I saw a video on tiktok that compared countries in latam to the districts, and the person put the capitol as argentina 😭 it would be so fun an au where every single character is from latam (why? just 'cause yes) and lgb and sejanus make fun of him bc coriolanus grew up with his grandma saying his family is more european than anything and the first time they hear him repeating stuff like that they're WHEEZING

#tbosas #tbosas movie #coriolanus snow #president snow #sejanus plinth #anon ask #anon #marcus tbosas #sejarcus #marcus my beloved you'll always be famous #my silly thoughts

[writingwhimsey]

All's Fair In Love & War- Nobunaga Ch. 24

Chapter 24

I had been rather pleasantly surprised when I’d told Nobunaga of my origins and he’d accepted it. It had warmed my heart when what appeared was a concern was that he was afraid I would go back. He truly didn’t want me to leave him…I felt the same.

Of course, what I had not been prepared for was how curious Nobunaga would be about the future. Seeing my old cell phone had apparently piqued his curiosity. When we weren’t busy making love, he was asking me questions about the future.

We were currently laying in the futon, cuddled up and he was asking me questions. “What was your life like there?” He asked.

“My life specifically?” I replied. “Well, when I left I was still considered a kid. I was still under the care of the girls’ home I had grown up in and still in school.”

“Girls’ home?” Nobunaga asked. “And is the school like the temple schools?”

“A girls' home is a place where they take in orphaned girls and care for them until they reach adulthood.” I explained. “The schools…I guess the temple schools are the closest thing you’ll find in this era. But the schools from my time are open for all and they teach all the basics, reading, writing, math, science. Then when you finish school, you can either immediately join the workforce or go into further schooling to train for a specific job. There are also still some jobs where you can be an apprentice to learn them.”

“Interesting.” Nobunaga replied. “So, you did  not finish your schooling?”

I shook my head. “No…my grades weren’t always the best anyways.”

“Grades?”

“Kind of a ranking system of how well one completes their school work.” I explained. “We had assignments we had to do as we learned new material and we also had tests to find out how well we learned the material.”

“Interesting.” Nobunaga replied. “What are other advancements in technology in your time?”

I explained more about computers, cars, trains, airplanes…that one really got him.

“Flight is possible in your time then?” He asked, his eyes wide and full of curiosity.

“Yeah. Though I was never personally on one. I never had a reason to fly anywhere else.” I answered. “But it’s very common for international travel. The fastest mode of transportation for that.”

“Truly intriguing.” Nobunaga replied.

I couldn’t help but to smile at his almost childlike curiosity about my original world. It was actually kind of adorable.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Nobunaga asked, looking at me curiously. “Does it make you happy to think of your original home?”

“Not particularly.” I replied. “I honestly didn’t really fit in. It honestly never really truly felt like home. Not like I have here.”

“Then why do you look like that?” 

I giggled. “I just didn’t expect you to be so curious. I mean if our roles were reversed, I’m not sure I’d be able to resist asking about things that are supposed to happen in this time.”

“I need not know those things.” Nobunaga replied. “I know I will succeed in my ambition.”

“I see.” I replied.

“However, I am fascinated by new technology and ideals.” He further explained. “I have spent a lot of time talking to the Portuguese missionaries and traders. I’ve learned many things about the way the rest of the world works. The advancements other countries are making. I find it all fascinating.”

“Is that part of what makes you see what this country could be?” I asked, curious.

Nobunaga nodded. “Yes. Once we stop the fighting and unite everyone, then we can join the rest of the world…which from what you have told me, by the time you are originally from happens, we have.”

“That is true.” I replied. “Really it’s probably a good thing you don’t want me to tell you about outcomes of battles or anything…I was a terrible student and only vaguely remember little tidbits from my history classes in the modern day.”

Nobunaga chuckled. “You say you were a terrible student in your time, but you seemed to do well under your father’s tutelage.” 

“Different lessons and different styles of teaching.” I replied. “Sword Fighting is definitely more interesting than complicated equations…learning about battles in the pages of a history book is much different than actually living through them.”

Nobunaga was smiling at me. “You prefer a more hands-on approach then?”

I grinned at him. “I find it’s the best way to learn anything…definitely been the best way to learn about you.”

“I have to agree.” Nobunaga replied, his hands trailing over my curves. “I definitely enjoy getting my hands on you.”

I shivered in delight under his touch. I started running my hands over his body in turn. “I love you, Nobunaga.”

“I love you, Ava.” Nobunaga replied before pulling me close once again and kissing me deeply. It was going to be a long and pleasurable rest of our time at the hot springs.

Days later…

We had finished our stay in the hot springs and had packed up to head back to my castle. “Thank you for staying with us, my lords.” Akane’s granddaughter said, bowing to us. “Please come again.”

“Yes, you need to visit more, Ava…but please be quieter next time.” Akane said.

I felt my cheeks heating up a bit, but I smiled and stood my ground. “I’ll make sure we come and we’re even louder next time.”

Nobunaga was chuckling beside me. “That wasn’t the top of your voice?”

I gave Nobunaga a challenging look. “You’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”

“Not in my hot spring.” Akane said. “Now get out…and maybe don’t come back. I miss the days you came with Sato. I could put up with your girlish giggles, but not this.”

“Oba-san.” Her granddaughter scolded.

Nobunaga and I were both laughing. I gave a polite bow to Akance. “Thank you for allowing us to stay and I apologize for keeping you up. I will have a bottle of your favorite sake sent as an apology.”

“Well…I guess I can accept that.” Akane replied. “Be well, Ava.”

“You be well Akane.” I replied.

Akane was then looking at Nobunaga, her eyes cold as steel. “And you…keep her happy. She deserves that.”

“I intend to.” Nobunaga replied.

We were then heading out. Nobunaga mounted up on his horse and then offered me his hand, pulling my up as I placed my hand in his. He snapped the reins and we were off. Nobunaga kissed the nape of my neck as we rode back towards my castle, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

“You really can’t get  enough of me, can you?” I teased. “You can’t seem to keep your hands or lips off of me.”

“You are far too delicious.” Nobunaga replied. “And intoxicating.”

“Hmm…I guess I could say the same thing about you.” I replied, turning my head to grin at him.

“You guess?” He asked, a challenging note to his voice. “You seemed to not be able to get enough of me either. You were just as active a participant as I was.”

“Hmm, but I can’t just admit it.” I replied. “Then you might start getting an even bigger ego than the one you already have.”

Nobunaga chuckled in my ear. He was moving the reins to hold them in one hand, as he wrapped his free arm around my waist, pulling me close. “You enjoy challenging me.”

“Oh, that’s one of the things you love most about me.” I replied.

“If I admit that, it will make your ego bigger than it already is.” Nobunaga replied, turning my own words against me.

I giggled, turning my head to kiss his cheek. “We are two of a kind, then.”

We teased, joked, flirted, shared kisses, and caresses as we continued our ride back to my castle. It was fun being with Nobunaga. No matter what we were doing… just being with him, it just made me so happy. 

“I am looking forward to finishing my ambition with you at my side.” Nobunaga told me, as we drew closer to my castle.

“You are rather close, aren’t you?” I replied.

“Very.” Nobunaga agreed. “I believe this year, 1582, will be the end. We will conquer this land and remake it into something better. And once we have done this, I want to leave these islands and see all this world has to offer…with you at my side.”

I smiled. “I like the sound of that.” I said. Though, there was something nagging at my brain. As if there was something important I needed to remember from my history lessons. Something about Nobunaga and the year 1582…and something in the pit of my stomach told me it was something bad. I pushed it down. Until I could remember, I wanted to push that feeling down. I didn’t want to cause Nobunaga or anyone else to worry.

#ikesen nobunaga #ikemen sengoku nobunaga #nobunaga oda #ikemen nobunaga #otome nobunaga #ikesen au #ikesen mc #ikesen oc #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #ikemen series #fanfic #cybird #otome boys #fanfiction

[not-a-space-alien]

Savage Sunset Chapter 9S

9S is done before 9M, so you all get it early :) I was debating with myself what the effects of reading one chapter first or the other would do, but eventually I decided just based on the fact that I am impatient hehehe

Story masterpost

Complementary chapter

In this chapter: Lex and Ari decide they need to go behind the director's back, but their rescue plan doesn't go quite the way anyone was hoping...

Author's note: Remember that this story is set in, like, the 1980's, so $20k would be worth a lot more in today's money :)

Content/Content warnings for this chapter: Nonconsensual bondage/restraint/being trapped, gag/muzzle, aftermath of torture, starvation, nonsexual nudity, heavy emotional distress, mind control, I guess this chapter could also be considered light whump of a female character

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“For the millionth time, this was your own idea.”

“Yeah, well it’s not my fault you needed someone to step in and tell you how to get from point A to point B.  You were just going to quit and walk away.  And then down the road when you were pissing and moaning about how guilty you felt leaving him there, it’d be my fault.”

“Ari, it’s OK to just admit you care.”

Ari’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.  “That creature is a monster that deserves what it gets.”

“Yeah, that’s why it’s so noble to want to help it.”

Lex could tell Ari viewed her own feelings of compassion as weakness.  As though she had to be as emotionless and cold as the creatures they fought.

“Twenty thousand,” Ari growled.  “That stupid vampire better be grateful.  Twenty thousand.  I've never been offered that much money for anything. I've never had that much money. I'm an idiot for doing this.”

“An idiot with a conscience.”

“I’m positive that thing is just going to try and kill us anyway.”

“Maybe he’s learned his lesson.”

“A serial killer does not learn their lesson, Lex, it’s a fundamental problem with the way they view the world and other people.  I’m not even sure if a vampire can think the same way as a person.”

Lex tapped her fingers.  “Well…I guess we’ll see.  He was pretty docile earlier.  What, ah…what are you thinking we’ll do, exactly?”

Ari sat in stormy silence.

“Babe?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted grumpily.  “I haven’t figured it out yet, okay?  We gotta do something though.”

Lex bit her lip.  “Right…it’s not like we can just let him go.”

“And he doesn’t want to die–”

“And we can’t take the muzzle off–”

“And it’s probably not safe to take him out of the house–”  Ari sighed.  “Okay, so what’s our goal here?  Ideally, we want to stop Nick from torturing him.  Which is going to be a problem, because he’s here specifically to be tortured by Nick, because apparently there's no humane way to carry out the experiments.  What options does that leave us?”

“We could just steal him.”

“What, take him back to our house?”

“I guess?”

“That wouldn’t solve the problem of him being fucking starving, though.  We can’t feed him as long as he can’t open his mouth, which is something we need for our own safety. No persuasion from him. Absolutely not. Especially now that he has plenty of reason to hate all of us, if he didn't already."

“We could get a cup of blood and use a straw. It might fit through.”

Ari groaned.  “I guess, but then what?  We just have a vampire in our house for the rest of our lives using us as a Caprisun?  Keeping him locked in the basement out of sight because we can’t let the hunter’s guild know we have him?  That hardly seems better than just killing him.”

“He might prefer that.  We could ask him.”

Ari banged her hand on the steering wheel.  “I fucking hate this.  I hate that it’s on us to figure out how to comfort this monster.”

Lex looked over and saw tears in Ari’s eyes.  Her thoughts were clear.  If we don’t, nobody will. 

And was that okay? If nobody did? It was gradually sinking in for Lex that she wasn’t okay with that, and clearly Ari wasn’t either, despite both of them instinctually feeling that a creature like the one locked in the basement didn’t deserve their help–and that it was probably stupidly dangerous to try and help, anyway.

She’d felt morally superior for walking out, but walking out had been the easy thing to do.  It’d just spared her from having to watch.  Out of sight, out of mind.  It’d helped her, but hadn’t changed the situation at all.  It made her feel cowardly and weak now that she realized the depths of torture she’d condemned this creature to for the past few months.  Not having the stomach to look the violence in the eye didn’t make her better.

Literally all he’d needed to move him to grateful tears had been a warm bath and loosening the muzzle one notch.

Maybe he’d changed.  Maybe he’d realized the harm he’d done.  Maybe he would just be grateful enough to Lex and Ari for saving him that he would listen to them.  Everyone deserved a chance. Surely torturing him more wouldn't do anything--either he'd learned to see the value of human life, or he hadn't.

And even if he hadn’t changed at all, no one deserved this, not even a monster. He was still a living creature. Besides…he was barely a threat anymore. He couldn't even stand on his own in the shower. And it’s not like they were going to let him go free, to hurt other people.  Just…try to improve the situation somewhat.

But…how?

“I kind of wish we’d just killed him,” said Lex glumly.

Ari grimaced.  “Yeah…”

They both sighed, watching the car eat up the road in front of them.

Ari pulled down the visor to block the light as they headed straight into the setting sun.  “Well, maybe we’ll fucking figure something out.”

***

They were still arguing by the time they got there.  They normally didn’t argue this much, but they were both confronting feelings of guilt about the whole situation that’d developed over the past few months, and their own passivity in letting it happen, and were stressed out.

They fell silent as they pulled their van in front of the hunter’s compound, next to a white sedan they both recognized.

“What is…What is Nick doing here?” said Lex. It wasn't unusual for vampire hunters to be active at night, obviously, but Nick was the one vampire hunter in this compound that didn't have a partner and therefore was not allowed to go into the field, or be in the compound alone.

Ari stormily shut the car off, kicking her door open.  “I have a hunch.”

The front door opened as Ari got to the porch.  Nick tried to hurry out the door, but Ari blocked it with an arm.  “Hey, Nick.”

“Oh, ah, hello,” said Nick.

“What are you doing here?”

Nick held up a notebook.  “I was, ah, doing some late night work at home and realized I forgot my notes.  So I just came to get them.  In and out–”

“Because you know it’s not allowed for anyone to be in the compound alone.  Always at least two people together.  That’s the rule when anywhere on vampire business.  Too dangerous to be alone. Especially now that there’s a live vampire inside the place.”

Nick sweat a bit.  “Ah, I understand, but I really was just coming in quickly to–”

Ari leaned in, sneering.  “I know you weren’t here to try and get in some private time with your little toy in the basement, because that would be against the rules, and fucked up, and if that were the case, there would be consequences from the director, I’m sure, so you wouldn’t do that.”

Nick forced his face into a tight smile.  “Well, Ariana, if you recall, I don’t have the key to the coffin.  You have the key to the coffin.  So if anyone was going to open the coffin in secret, it would be you.  I’m sure the director wouldn't be happy about that.”

Ari’s eyes and demeanor were that of a demented heyena in the face of a wounded lion.  “Well, Lex and I aren’t breaking any rules.  Only one of us is breaking the rules, and it ain't us.”

“Ariana–”

“Call me Ariana again,” said Ari, slamming her hand on the doorframe so hard the windowpanes rattled, “and I’ll kick you in the balls so hard your grandchildren will feel it.”

Nick held his notebook up like a shield, frozen.

“Go. Home.”

When Ari removed her arm, Nick scuttled away into his car.  Lex slunk up behind Ari as his headlights came on and swung away as he backed out.  “Was that really necessary?”

Ari huffed.  “No, but it made me feel better.”

Lex turned the lights back on as she stepped into the base.  “Okay, um…”

Ari closed the door and locked it.  “Yeah?”

“We still haven’t decided what to do.”

This had never happened before.  Usually together they were able to come up with something, or if they disagreed, they just talked about it until one of them caved.

Ari clucked her tongue.  “Well…Maybe something will come to us.”

Lex pushed the basement door open and flicked that light on as well.  The ghastly, battered creature in the coffin was lying facedown, but on the cue of the light, he rolled over, whining pitifully and sticking his hands through the bars of the lid as far as he could, until the chain on the cuffs caught against the bar.

“All right,” said Lex, coming down the stairs.  “Don’t worry, we’re going to help you.”

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she took one of the bony hands offered through the cage.  It was shockingly cold, but she kept it in her own.

Ari huffed, coming down behind her.  “All right, listen, Dracula.  I’m not Lex.  I’m not gonna bullshit you about how it’s all gonna be okay, but we know this fucked up and we’re here and we’re trying to figure out how to fix it.”

The relief on his face was palpable.

“I’m sorry,” said Lex.  “I’m sorry we let this happen.  This wasn’t at all what we were imagining when we brought you here.”

Ari knelt and unlocked the coffin.  He seemed to not want to let go of Lex’s hand, even as Ari tilted the lid of the cage open.  “All right, come on, buddy,” she said.

Valen looked at her with panic, both hands still reaching through the top, grabbing Lex.  It was like a cat crying to be let out in front of a door that was already open.

Ari sighed and stuck her hand in towards him.  “How about you take my hand?  Can you do that?”

He shakily let go of Lex and grabbed onto her, like a man afraid he would drown if not holding onto someone for too long.

“All right, easy now, just relax.”  Ari’s cooing was nowhere near as comforting as Lex’s, much more gruff and rough, but Ari knew from experience the combination with strong hands holding you could do a lot.  She hefted Valen up, moving him into a sitting position, then gently lifting him up under the armpits to get him to stand.

Lex supported him by the elbow and helped him step out of the coffin.  He quivered, a walking skeleton in their hands, shuffling with his ankles stuck together and his wrists bound in front of him.

“God,” said Lex, once again taking in the emaciated, ravaged state of his body.  “I still can’t believe this.  I can’t believe any creature could go through all this and not die.”

Valen flinched, trembling redoubling, eyes wheeling around the room.

“We’re not going to hurt you,” Lex soothed.  “Just relax.”

Ari pulled a chair out from Nick’s desk and turned it around.  “Here, go ahead and sit down.”

Valen’s bones creaked as he did so, awkwardly, as though he couldn’t remember how to use a chair.

“Hmph,” said Ari.  “The fucking furnace is still warm.  Just getting his notebook my ass.  I’m not leaving him alone where Nick can get to him again.”  She leaned forwards and put her chin on her hand.  “Okay listen, Dracula, I’m kind of at a loss here.  You know we can’t just let you go, and you know we can’t just take the muzzle off, even if you promise nicely that you won't use persuasion.  We talked to the director, and he said he’s not going to make Nick stop.  You already said you don’t want us to kill you, and we can’t just take you to our house, but we can’t just leave you here either.  So.”  She spread her hands.  “You gotta work with us here.”

The vampire fidgeted.

Lex sighed.  “Hey Ari, we both agree that thing Nick said about not letting him write was bullshit, right?  Like, that was definitely something he made up so Valen couldn’t communicate with us?”

Ari gave a disgusted sigh.  “Yeah.  For sure. He either made that up, or exaggerated it. I never seen any vampire use persuasion through writing." She hadn't seen many vampires write at all, since her only interactions with them were in deadly combat, but that was besides the point. The only kinds of persuasion she'd ever seen were eye contact, and spoken speech...and clearly this one couldn't do eye contact.

"Yeah...another excuse. I'm not buying it anymore."

Ari tore a piece of paper out of the notebook in front of her.  “Here, get a pencil out of that cup, would you?”

Lex retrieved a pencil from the cup of writing utensils, handing it to Ari. 

Ari took his wrists and unlocked the handcuffs, the chain tinkling as she set them off to the side. She slid the piece of paper and the pencil over in front of him. “Here,” she said, setting his bony hands down in front of the writing supplies.   “It’s been so long, I imagine you have a lot to say.”

He looked absolutely petrified, like they’d just threatened to shoot him, hands trembling but otherwise making no motion.

Lex slid the pencil into his hand, folding her hands gently over his clammy, emaciated fingers.  “It’s okay.  Just go ahead and write something. Any ideas you have for us, maybe? What we can do to help?”

He fumbled, the pencil clattering out of his hand and rolling over the desk.  He whimpered pitifully, groping for it, unable to muster up the dexterity to snatch it back up.

“It’s okay,” said Lex, sliding it back towards him.  “Take your time.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks.

“It’s okay,” said Lex.  “I promise it’s okay.  Here.”  She held the pencil steady for him until he was able to notch it between his fingers, then lowered his hands down until the tip was on the paper.

Ari suddenly got antsy and stood.  “Just in case,” she said, pointedly looking away.  “Just in case it wasn’t bullshit, just in case writing persuasion is a thing, I’m going to stand over here and not read what he writes.”

Lex nodded.  “Okay.”  She turned back towards Valen, whose shaky hand was working hard to produce a series of illegible squiggles.  “Why don’t you start writing out the alphabet,” she said.  “To warm yourself up. It's been a long time, and you're out of practice." And your hands have probably been beaten to shit and had all their bones broken, but let's not talk about that.

He let out a frustrated whine, scratching the pencil on the paper.  The alphabet started to appear in a shaky, uncoordinated font.

“There we go,” said Lex, putting a hand on his back.  “You're doing great. When you’re ready, try to write something for us.”

He took a deep breath and tried to steady his shaking hands.  He started writing.

“What have you got for us?” said Lex.  “Any ideas?”

She watched the painstaking process as the letters came out.

A

T

T

A

“Attack?” said Lex.  Attack who?  Nick?  Nick, probably.  Surely he knew they couldn't do that?

C

K

“Who?” said Lex.

“Jesus, let him finish,” said Ari, still standing in the corner facing away.

Valen seemed progressively more upset as he wrote, lip wobbling as the pencil continued.

A

R

Fuck.  Fuck.  He’s writing Attack Ari.  That’s what he’s writing, he’s writing–

That was the point at which the persuasion kicked in, the exact moment it registered that he was giving her a command, as soon as she comprehended what he was telling her to do.  Attack Ari.

Persuasion was one of the most unpleasant feelings Lex had ever had the misfortune to occasionally be subjected to, and she felt panic lance through her as the hypnotic haze fell over her mind.  Her willful sensations dulled, her own thoughts and wants shoved to the side, as though someone had just pushed her out of the driver’s seat.

Her limbs moved in a dreamlike way–part of her knew she should be upset, that this was wrong, wrong, wrong, that she should be fighting through it.  She felt barely there, like she was looking through a frosted glass window into the situation instead of her own eyes.

She knew she had to attack Ari.  She didn’t understand why, but she had to.

Out of all the damn stupid things Nick hadn't been exaggerating or lying about, this one had to be true.

“What’s he saying?” said Ari, and then she whirled around at the sound of Lex unsheathing her hunting knife.  “Shit!”

The smaller woman moved at her with mechanical efficiency, no emotion in the lunging.  Ari hollered in shock, narrowly avoiding the knife, leaving a gash up her arm.  “Lex!  Fuck!  Fuck!”

Lex could see out of the corner of her eye the vampire had raised both hands to the muzzle, fumbling to remove it.

We’re done.  We fucked up.  I’m sorry, Ari.  I love you. We’re dead.  We’re fucking dead.

“Stop!” said Ari, locking Lex’s attacking hand in a pin.  She twisted her hand to strip the knife from Lex, tossing it to the ground, then struggling to pin her to the wall without hurting her as Lex started to kick and elbow.  “Fuck!  Lex!”

“Be still!”

The voice was scratchy and hoarse from months of disuse, hoary like dry bones being pulled through cobwebs.  Both women froze in place, a look of panic plastered on their faces.  They knew the power dynamics of the situation had just shifted dramatically, and not in their favor.

We’re either going to die right here or spend the rest of our lives as vampire thralls, because we cared too fucking much.  Holy shit.

“Turn and face me.”

They did, like puppets.

Why did I think he might be any different from the ones who almost got me to the blood farms? Why did I think he might be able to change?

Valen was still sitting, the muzzle unbuckled and lying on the table.  He had a red patch of skin around the lower half of his face where it’d rubbed him raw, in the shape of the muzzle.  His eyes were wild from beneath his stringy hair, set above his hollowed-out cheeks and gaunt features devoid of any fat or muscle.  His chest heaved, the skin sliding upsettingly over visible ribs.

With a weakened hand, he tossed the muzzle away from himself.  “D-destroy this.”

Lex wasn’t sure how her hijacked brain made the decision, but she found herself compelled to walk over and light the furnace.  Simultaneously, Ari walked over and picked the muzzle up, smoothly walking over and chucking it in.

They both watched it in the flames, the leather peeling and curling away from the metal, which started to deform and melt.

“You will–You will remove the manacles from my ankles.”

Ari knelt and unlocked them obediently.

“You will–will, you will destr-destroy this as well.”  He groped forward and gripped one of Nick’s notebooks from the table, the one with all the photographs of him in various states of torture, with grim captions lovingly transcribed under them all.  Despite the horrors of the book, Lex found herself sick at the loss of such a huge amount of work.

Into the fire it went, flames racing up the paper cover, photographs shrinking in the heat.

Valen had managed to stand, one hand supporting himself on the chair.  He pointed a gnarled hand at a device on the shelf, one with a light bulb.  “Destroy this.”

Ari walked over and smashed the bulb, throwing the thing onto the floor and breaking it into pieces.

The vampire’s eyes were glowing, mad with newly seized power, frantically scrambling for every hated object he could get his hands on. 

“Destroy this.”  Several lengths of chain from the ceiling and around the room.

“Destroy this.”  A spool of what looked like silvered thread, with a silver needle.

“Destroy this.”  Lengths of sharpened iron that looked like railroad spikes, rusty with dried blood.

“Destroy this.”  The handcuffs, the wrist cuffs, every device conceivable to hold him immobile. 

“Destroy this.”  A saw with silver teeth.

“Destroy this.”  Pliers, belts, scissors, knives, a variety of metal implements neither of them could even name.

The furnace filled quickly.  They were starting to run out of room.  Valen licked his dry lips, shaking growing.  “You will–You will remove this.”

He curled his hands around the metal collar padlocked around his neck, now the only thing gracing his naked form besides his tattered underwear.

The command short-circuited in Lex’s head, and the thought snapped shut as soon as she opened it.  Persuasion couldn’t make you do things you couldn’t normally do, and she didn’t know where the key for that was and did not know how to remove it.

Valen’s face sunk in desperation.  He repeated the command to Ari, who similarly looked at him blankly.

He let out a sobbing curse.  “F-fine!  Des-destroy…”  He looked at the coffin, but stopped the command halfway through.

Lex waited to see the result of his thought process with some fear.  What are you going to do with the coffin? 

“You.”  He pointed at Ari.  “Go–go, you will go lie down in there.  And you, you will lock her in there.”

No!  Shit, shit, shit, shit…  Panic rose inside Lex as Ari set the key on the table, then clambered into the coffin like it was the most natural thing in the world, lying neatly inside.

I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this.  Tears welled in her eyes as she took the key and knelt, closing the lid and locking it.  They locked eyes through the bars, knowing they were in deep shit, and they both shared one thought specifically:

If Ari was to be locked in the coffin to keep her here…what was his plan for Lex?

“You will help me up the stairs.”

Lex tearfully walked away from Ari and supported the vampire by the elbow, just as she’d done before, this time without gentleness, without emotion, without anything except mechanical obedience.

They went up the stairs one at a time.  As much as Lex hated Nick, maybe, maybe if he hadn’t listened and was still hanging around, they could still be saved.  Maybe they could avert the disaster that was unfolding, and she wouldn’t be found dead and her drained body thrown into a ditch somewhere in the morning.

Lex’s heart sank.  They hadn’t given him any reason to be merciful when the shoe was on the other foot.  None of them had.  After months of heartless torture, it would be a miracle if he didn't just slay every human he could get his hands on as fast as he could.

He ground his teeth as they made their way up the stairs at an agonizing pace.  Lex wanted to cast her eyes back to look at Ari one last time, in case it was the last time they would see each other, but she was under some spell that made it hard to do so, like swimming upstream against a current.

They reached the top of the stairs.  Valen doubled over, clinging to her, wheezing, out of breath.  Lex tried to suppress her horror, her terror at how close his ravenous fangs were to her vulnerable flesh.

“You will–you will take me outside.”  His voice was growing fainter, raspier, as though this much sudden use was taking a toll on it.

Lex went through the motion of opening the door, letting in a wave of fresh, cool night air and the sounds of the crickets outside.  Nick’s car was no longer parked out front.  Nick, for God’s sake, the one time I actually want you to be a nuisance and stick around.  I’ve never actually wanted to see you before this.

“You will o-open the door to your van.”  His voice warbled, with obviously increasing difficulty with each word.  “And–help me–inside–and then–drive me–to–the place where–you found me.”

He leaned over, on the verge of collapse, chest heaving.  Lex supported him and walked up to her van, opening the door and helping him step up into the cab.

She walked around, hauling herself up and settling into the driver’s seat.

Maybe she’d be lucky and the van would break down.  Maybe it wouldn’t start.  Maybe there wouldn’t be enough gas to get them the whole way there….But no, Ari was too much of a car person for that to happen.  Lex fought tears again as the car turned over and then started, and the dashboard indicators were all clear, the gas tank full.

She was going to drive this car all the way out into the middle of nowhere with a hungry, pissed off vampire in the passenger’s seat.  She had no choice.

She was, ironically, and unbeknownst to her, thinking the same thing Valen had been thinking when they’d take him.

I’m going to die, or something worse, because I tried to be kind.

***

Tag list <3

@annablogsposts

@darlingwhump

@nicolepascaline

@oddsconvert

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@soursagas

@thecyrulik

@whumpsday

#hurt/comfort #angst #vampires #whump #vampire whumpee #whumpblr #my writing

[onceandfutureoshainspector]

Kenji: You're back, but Kasumi isn't with you? Cat: Mister Nakano. Kasumi isn't coming home. She's staying with the synths up North. Kenji: What? I hired you to find her, to bring her back safely! You left her there?

- i mean, she is a grown ass adult, but i see his point. he’s not ready for his kid to leave.

Cat: I did everything I could to make sure she was safe, Kenji. She'll be fine. Kenji: You're sure? It's just... all this nonsense about her being a synth. She doesn't still think she's one of them, does she? Cat: Does it matter, Kenji? She's staying. She has people there she cares about. Kenji: So Rei was right. Kasumi needed to make her own life. Away from us. I guess I... just didn't want to believe she had grown up. That she was going to leave me. 

- ...oh, motherfuck. there’s a link to Shaun here. how i didn’t want to believe he’d genuinely become the villain, the head of the Institute with no hope of me talking him out of it. i guess that might be the intended lesson here - kids make their own decisions, but they’re not the only ones who have to live with them.

Kenji: There's one last thing you and I need to discuss. Your reward. My daughter might not be coming home, but at least she's safe.

- dude, no. don’t reward me for what i just did. don’t.

Kenji: We don't have much to offer, but my father traveled the Commonwealth. He had quite a collection before he died. I buried it all near the house. I'm not the explorer he was. I don't need them. I think they would be better with you.

- i can't take his reward. between DiMA, Kasumi, those poor unpleasant idiots stuck in the Vault forever... i left the Island cleaner than i found it, but i sure as hell got dirtier in the process. i don't deserve praise for a job half done and messily too.

Cat: You don't need to do that. You keep your father's collection for your family. Kenji: Thank you. Perhaps we'll need it someday. God knows plenty has happened to us already... Now, if you'll excuse me, it's... been a long day.

- you’re telling me.

Rei: I'm glad my daughter has found a place where she can make her future. Thank you for making sure she's safe.

- these guys’ll be fine. and hey, they’ve got their boat back. it’s not like they can’t visit.

Nick: In this line of work, you have to expect the unexpected. Still, I've got to admit, I've never had a case quite like Kasumi's. Cat: Really? Never? Nick: Well, there was that time I got hired by someone who'd been frozen in a Vault for 200 years. That one's been a doozy so far... I wonder how Kasumi is gonna do up in Acadia? That place has some big ideals in a world of cruel realism.

- which is exactly why we’re gonna help them out. the Railroad needs someplace it can send synths for safety, and Acadia needs resources and aid. now that we’ve all found each other, we can stand together and make each other stronger.

Nick: Well, the case is closed. Sometimes that's all you can really say.

- :(

- fast traveled back to Nick's office

Ellie: You're back. How'd everything go with the Nakano case? Cat: I tracked Kenji's daughter to a synth refuge up north near Far Harbor. She's made a life there. She ended up deciding to stay. Ellie: I can relate. I left home pretty young, and look at the low-lifes I've ended up with... Thanks for coming in for this one. I knew something good was happening when you and Nick started working together. Don't be a stranger, gumshoe. Nick: If I didn't know better, I'd say you're giving our friend here all the credit... Ellie: Just keeping you on your toes, Nick.

- and Nick’s not alone either. he’ll be alright. i hope.

#and that's that on that #fallout 4: the resurrection of OSHA #fallout 4

[holasoylorenza]

Held on as tight as you held on to me

I was listening to the song that made me cry the most on 2021-2022.

And today, March 16th 2023... I don’t cry anymore.

To build a Home, by The cinematic orchestra.

Why does that song specifically made me cry that much you wonder...

Because it made me realize how much I idealized you, how much I actually cared for you, how much I dreamed I would start a family with you, with you ONLY. 

Never thought the dream we dreamed together would be broken so easily. It disappeared, simply. 

You said you had a reality check, when you decided to cut me loose, when you teared apart the home that we built, the life that I was building for US.. AGAIN.

I believed you, once again, and once again you played with my heart as if it was trash. It is unbelievable how easy was for you to cut me off, right when I was barely hanging on to life. 

I thought it would kill me, honestly... but I guess I learned finally to let go. 

I remember when I felt my heart broken for the first time, and it took me years to recover, because I am obsessive, yes, it breaks me to understand the fact that I need to forget about the person I loved, that I gave everything to, it takes me so long to accept it.

So on January, I gave myself again, for the third time in my life, and I honestly thought this would be the last time and this person would be the one that actually stayed.

Life had other plans... life showed me that I didn’t quite learned my lesson with you, so I had to break myself again, to know and understand that I needed to finally let go of that idea.. that I would some day find someone like you, better, but like you. 

So I did not struggle that much this time... I finally realized how easy it was for you, to break us, it was to protect yourself, and protect me, from hurting US. 

I held on as tight as you held on me, so it was easier to let loose this time. To protect me, to protect him, to protect US, I finally see it as it is. And I can’t help but wonder if you did see it as I do now? 

If you did...

Thank you, because you were a great teacher after all. I can protect myself now, but without giving up my loving and romantic side. I can be myself, truly and unapologetically me and not be afraid to be rejected for my demons, not care at all, if someone leaves, I can see now, that I want someone brave by my side, someone patient, someone understanding, because, I finally learned to love my shadows and demons as a part of me, as a whole. I’m still getting better, I’m still learning to love me, but now I embrace the hurtful parts as well, I embrace growth and change. 

#self love #thoughts #love #letter #letters #hurt #past #march #quote song #life #depression #anxiety #living with adhd #couple #reality #heartbreak #journal #living with anxiety #living with depression #self improvement #therapy #milestone post #proud

[feelin-lo]

@aesopsbaby

Your little head cannon from anon, made me go feral. This is my retaliation. This is really rushed and is really bad so I'm sorry not sorry, this is motivation at its finest.

Blades clashed, blood was spilled, but whos?

A little backstory. Elves, high or not, work on a principal. If they stray too far from that principal then they change. That's what Orcs and Goblins are. A sub species of Elves that have "fallen from grace" per se.

And that day, Orcs ambushed the team, no one was injured, badly at least... but, for some reason, Raloris was silent for once. After they were all dead, he looked down at the bodies of orcs, silent, it was unsettling. None of them knew what was going on in Ralo's head, they never did, but Celtic, he had an idea. Celtic always knew. After that moment they had shared a few nights ago, that intoxicating passion under the glory of a meteor shower, Celtic could almost read Ralo's thoughts, just through how the man held himself.

He didn't even utter a word for hours, and it scared everyone, normally he was so loud and funny, even when he was low. They finally reached a familiar tavern, they went into their rooms and unpacked before coming downstairs again and sharing a round of drinks. Ralo sat alone, staring into the still full cup of Rum, hours after it was poured.

He was uneasy, and that made Celtic uneasy.

Suddenly, Raloris stood up and left, leaving his belongings but taking his weapons, and leaving the tavern. Celtic stood, walking to where Ralo sat and saw a sight he wasn't expecting, blood on the table and bits of cloth on the chair, that's when Celtic followed the High elf outside. He was shirtless, his shirt, cape and various dangling bits were all folded in a pile. He kept swinging at the training dummies with his polearm that were outside, he was muttering to himself and then shouting at himself, no one inside would hear him though, it's too loud.

"YOU WANNA END UP LIKE THEM?! WELL GUESS WHAT YOU USELESS SACK OF SHIT, YOU CANT. YOU ARENT EVEN WORTHY OF WHAT OUR ANCESTORS MADE OF US!" He yelled, cutting deeper into the dummy "NO WONDER FATHER HATED YOU SO MUCH! YOU CANT EVEN JUSTIFY IT." He kept going "THIS IS WHY NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!"

And with that, he decapitated the dummy, the stuffed head, hitting the floor. Raloris fell to his knees, sniffling, like he was crying. Since he wasn't moving anymore, Celtic got closer, able to get a better look of his teammates body, his arms and hands were decorated with bites while his torso was painted with seals and tomes.

A little Elven history lesson, like most creatures, Elves had a "Medieval" moment in their development. That was around 100 years ago, Raloris was about 21. It was right after his father died, since he was driven to madness, elves didn't know how to cure him. So they turned to their god for assistance. Painting Raloris with seals and tomes to seal the madness away.

"Raloris?" Celtic said, kneeling down and reaching a hand out, but stopping before his hand touched skin. "What?" Ralo sniffled, turning to meet Celtic's gaze "What's going on? You can talk to me you know." He said carefully.

"Do you know what Orcs are, Celtic?" Ralo asked, turning to meet him fully "Yeah, I'm aware, did it upset you when we killed them?" The leader asked but was met with a headshake "No. It just... It made me think." "That's dangerous"

"Why haven't I become a Half Orc yet? I'm so far from the ideals of my race. A disgrace to High elven kind. I'm not worthy, I'm not ANYTHING. IM NOT EVEN GIVEN THE FUCKING TIME OF DAY BY THEM!" he ranted, biting into his lip, with such a force that it drew blood, it dropped down his chin and down his chest with how deep it was.

"Elves are built upon Wisdom, correct? the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement; the quality of being wise. You. Are wise. Despite being driven so badly into mental instability, you are still so so wise." Celtic said, taking a handkerchief from his pocket and cleaning the blood, feeling the soft skin of the High elf "You know what the highest form of Wisdom is?" Celtic asked the crying Raloris, who shook his head in response "Kindness. It's kindness"

Celtic stood, helping Ralo up and grabbing his clothes "Let's go inside, you need an early night it seems"

Once they were in Celtics room, Ralo was a little safer in mind, he felt warm, soft "I have a question Raloris" Celtic said, approaching the still shirtless elf "do you... think, about that night. Where we kissed... more than once?" He asked, looking deep into the emerald of Ralo's eyes "How could I not? I've nearly had a quarter of my life and that's only happened to me once and it was you. It's always been you." Ralo confessed, slipping his shirt back on.

"You were calm." Celtic commented, sitting down on the bed, tapping the sheets, indicating to the Elf to sit down. And he did, slowly setting himself down on the sheets, closing his eyes and sighing.

"You bite yourself a Lot, you know?" Celtic commented, sliding his hand up the forearm of the manic, lining every scar and indent. With his other hand, he went from Ralo's shoulder blades and slowly glided down, tracing his back untill he was at his waist, then lower back but never further. They agreed on that boundary ages ago. "Let's get some sleep ok?" Celtic smiled, well, tried to smile, pulling back the quilt and watching as Ralo slid in, quiet as he went.

"Ralo... Earlier, you said that No one cares about you"

Raloris looked up at that, meeting the amber in his leader's eyes "Can I show you something?"

The elf nodded.

Celtic sat on Raloris' lap, sliding down and pulling the quilt over them, he then pressed his Lips to Raloris again, tasting what he did a few days ago, and wondering why it was so sweet. Ralo returned the favour, taking Celtic deeper, he was holding his tongue in his teeth, nibbling on it, but never hard enough to hurt, they kissed again and again an again, time slowly dissapeared around them, neither man caring about where they were or if anyone saw them. Celtic was focused on calming Raloris down, while the elf just held on for dear life, letting his leader do as he saw fit. He was the wise one after all.

Soon, all of their respective visions melted away as their entire worlds became... Eachother.

#Raloris x Celtic #LOOK WHAT IVE BEEN DRIVEN TO. #I #AM #obsessed i tell you

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Terran's Interview

@puzzleddragon02 good enough for me

🍰 Describe your ideal birthday.

"Zachary never did anything that big for my birthday, but when Raymond and Mika moved in they did much more, usually went out to the park or something and got cake and other people came. I only went one year. But while they were here Zachary would at last get a cake or something. And I mean, he did always get me a present. I think, ideally, I would spend it away from Zachary, probably with Raymond. If it's a fantasy I'll have Mika there too... and I don't know, play a game and have a cake or something. My standards aren't very high for this."

🪂 What's your favorite method of transportation?

Answered

🔮 What's something you hope your future holds in store?

"Well I hope Raymond and I stay alive... Mika, too, and away from Zachary and the Syndicate and Calson City. Maybe to try being normal."

🧨 Are you impulsive? What's something impulsive you've done?

"No. Being impulsive is reckless, it's how you mess up. Even when I've made quick decisions I don't think they were impulsive. You could say that saving Raymond's life and Jesse's life was impulsive, but i don't really think that counts. I would say though, that when I saw Raymond at Dante and ran after him, that was impulsive. If I'd thought that through I would have dealt with it differently."

🧦What's your favorite article of clothing?

Answered

📺 What's your favorite movie?

"I don't go to movies."

(This time period does have movie but think like black and white and only in theaters. If Terran's at a movie theater it's not to watch."

🪦 How do you think you might die?

Answered

💔 Have you ever been heart broken? What happened?

"No, I don't think so."

(He has a bit. Raymond told him to stay away/ not to see each other again and Terran did not take it well.)

🥞 What's your favorite thing to have for breakfast?

"I always have coffee, usually for breakfast I have a bagel or something simple. But my favorite is an omelette."

😎 Have you changed your appearance often/recently/drastically? Would you?

"No, not really, I'll hide or obscure it, but that's more about blending in. I would though, if we ever escape the Syndicate, I'd be willing to change it."

🎆 Describe the ideal date (doesn't have to be romantic!)

Answered

🧩 What kinds of games do you like?

Answered

🚫 What's the most trouble you ever got in as a kid? Why?

"Look... this isn't something you want to hear, it's not a fun anecdote about stealing a cookie and getting time-out. I was in training to be an assassin, a perfect one who thought everything through. I'd get in trouble for sneaking out because I got caught, not because I was sneaking out. Everything was training, and Zachary used his magic to reinforce his lessons. Get it?"

🦝 What's your favorite animal? Why?

"When I was a kid I would find salamanders sometimes, I don't know if they were really my favorite but I liked searching for them and holding them. We never had any pets, but I'd like to get to know a cat, I think. Raymond once said he thought I'd like cats."

🧃 What's your favorite thing to drink?

Answered

🌄 Describe your morning routine.

"I don't really have much of a routine, it depends entirely on what's going on. Sometimes I have early-morning work and sometimes it's late-night, so it varies a lot. I guess the most consistent part is getting dressed in my room, brushing my teeth, getting coffee and come breakfast. Often I'll be downstairs after Zachary so the coffee is made, and normally I'll see if he has anything he needs me to do. Oh, and casting focus as soon as I leave my room I suppose is part of the routine."

❄️ What's your favorite kind of weather?

"Spring, no rain. A light breeze and a bit of sunshine, but I don't mind it overcast if it's not raining."

💥 Fight, flight, or freeze?

Answered

💕 What's something you love?

"Loving anything is a risk, and even more so to reveal it."

Terran loves Raymond. He actually also loves Mika. Unfortunately he loves Zachary. For inanimate things: Coffee, chocolate, nuts, his leather jacket, flowers.

🌡How do you handle being sick?

"I hate it, but Zachary hates being around sick people and sometimes there's something satisfying about that. It's also a good thing, because I'll get to exhausted to keep focus up. Normally when I feel myself starting to get sick I'll grab some things from the store that keep him from having to be around me-- like extra tissues or medicine or some soup."

🔪 What's something you can't stand?

"Being in wet clothes is the first that comes to mind. It rains too much in Calson, I can't wear my leather jacket, and it soaks me through, it's uncomfortable."

(I find it funny, I searched my WIP doc for "hate" and almost every instance is about Mika. Girl is angry.)

👀 What's something you feel guilty about?

"Every kill I've done, every body I've felt nothing for. Every time I'm still complicit in death. Lying to Mika."

💭 Describe a dream you've had.

"I have a lot of dreams where I'm planning something, it goes wrong for weird reasons, complicates randomly, and then it turns out to be something completely different than I started planning. That's what a lot of them look like."

💯 What's a good quality in a friend?

"I think Raymond's the only real friend I've had. And I think he's a good friend because he challenges me but also seems to accept me, he's honest with me and I can trust him."

🫐 Favorite fruit?

"Blueberries, peaches, pineapple."

🛣 City or country?

"I only know the city. I'm used to it, I know how it works, but if we left, the country might be safer."

👽 Share a secret (it doesn't have to be yours).

(This SO depends on who's asking, half the answers here have betrayed secrets. So, I'm gonna share a mild spoiler, cuz why not)

"This is Zachary's secret... He killed a few people working for the Judge. The ones who killed Ariel. I helped him."

👑 What would you say is your best feature (personality, appearance, etc)?

Answered

🚩What's your worst feature?

Answered

☄️ Make a wish!

"I don't believe anything can grant wishes, but even so I'd be trying to word it carefully. But if you're asking what I would wish for...I'd wish that Ariel hadn't died and Raymond and Mika never met Zachary."

It was very fun to do Terran's interview. I'll still take asks using my other characters (Raymond & Mika, I could answer for Chrys and Russell too).

From this

#For anyone who doens't know some of the context: #Ariel is Raymond and Mika's mom #After she died Zachary took them in and eventually trained them too #and of course if you don't know the basic premise: Terran is an assassin raised by his uncle Zachary #Raymond tried to leave and Terran was supposed to kill him for it but instead Terran helped him escape #as assassins they work for the Syndicate which controls the city and the head of it is the Judge #oc interview #ask game #terran

[personalblogsposts]

Hard lessons learned:

- Threw a lot of people that I teached to walk over me out of my life. Which was basically... Anyone. Turns out most people that want to be friends with a insecure doormat yes-man aren't really that interested in you, but the attention and validation you give them.

- you can not be 'right'. There is no universal right or wrong, just do what you really want while keeping the people you affect in mind. Sometimes you will fuck up and you will learn from that.

- the feelings of others aren't universally right and you don't need to walk on egg shells around anyone. If they say you hurt them, evaluate that. You absolutly can and should tell people off when you feel manipulated and gaslighted. If the person is overreacting tell them off too. You help neither them or yourself if you enable their poor emotional management. Yes that will hurt them, but you deserve people you can have the relationships you need with. Yes you may be wrong. But you will learn from that too.

- you don't need to love yourself. Just be yourself, you'll be fine.

- your 'bad' parts are you as well. You don't have a higher self and you shouldn't convince yourself of such bullshit. Your higher self is just another unrealistic ideal you will never life up to.

- I need to stress this: Humans. Are. Not. Made. To. Be. Happy. All. The. Time. !!! Our uncontentness is the reason we are so successfull as a species. It's not biologically possible to be that rainbows-out-your-ass gaia hippie orange peeling mary oliver kindness girl you want to be. Be angry, be spiteful, be sad. Enjoy all the shades of human emotion and not just the stuff that's desired. By shutting out negative emotions you give them power to mess with your subcontious. You do not want that shit.

- self improvement is nothing but capitalist propaganda. Stop licking the boot, allow yourself to enjoy resting, living, breathing

- if you would rather be suffering and thin than emotionally thriving and overweight: get. Help. Gurl that aint normal

- instagram body positivity is honestly just as toxic as 'toxic beauty standards'. Your looks shouldn't matter to you, all bodys rule, abolish the concept of beauty

- there is absoluty no need for anyone to post their body and face online. Stop taking selfies, delete social media, thrive

- delete social media.

- you need conflict to grow and evolve a romantic relationship. if there is no fighting, someone is not being honest about their feelings

- you *really* don't need to safe anyone. most of the time the people that beg you to safe them are stuck in learned helplessness. helping them will actually enable them. don't play therapist, you're only playing yourself girl

- if someone in your life constantly complaines that everyone leaves eventually, there is probably a reason for that and it's probably them. If you are *that* person, yes, the reason is you (been there, done that). Try to see a therapist

- talk about your feelings but listen to the feedback

- sometimes you are the bad one in someone elses story and ther's nothing you can do about it.

- if any kind of relationship drags you down, leave. you don't owe anything to anyone actually

- balance is key, there is no one fit all approach, you'll always have to adapt and stay adaptable for what's actually happening. That's why there's no need for overplaning and overthinking anything. Just pick a direction and keep going

- check your ego. no need to kill it, but just check it from time to time

- stop comodifying yourself. You don't need all of those labels and aesthetic markers for someone to love you.

- twitter politics are so far removed from how real people think and feel it's actually funny

- it really doesn't matter anymore what anyone anywhere thinks about you if you start to value your own opinions

- trying to second guess all the time what others are thinking and feeling towards you isn't healthy. stay in your lane and get out of their business.

- the people who broke you cant fix you, don't let them in again

- some things you can't heal, but you can manage to live with them

- there is no magic fix, the beginning of healing is a long, dirty road that hurts more than being back on your bullshit

- your pain isn't anyones responsibility but yours.

- you've got to safe yourself

#recovery #mental health #growth