#but I can’t even slightly enjoy it bc my anxiety is like hey!!!!! what if you felt the worst anxiety ever!!! and become super scared of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaithetics · 3 months

Note

hey I had an idea for a stewy fic! Maybe it’s Roy!reader who gets scared on their wedding day (bc they’re a Roy and are not used to love) and stewy comforts them beforehand? I don’t know if that makes sense haha

Roy-ful Wedding Jitters

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x Roy Reader

Word count: 2.1K

Author's note: Ah! I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry for how long this was in my inbox. I owe you big time and I'm getting around to the older requests, I really hope you love this and it was worth the note! Not proofread so do enjoy y'all! I think this is ending the biggest gap between fics I've had so I'm sorry, love you all! Also, wear sunscreen!

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established relationship, anxiety, not the best self-esteem, Roy childhood dynamics, mild cursing.

****************************

It was a peaceful morning, or it should’ve been, it was a peaceful-looking morning at least. Well peaceful as long as you didn’t look in a mirror and see the fear in your eyes or the growing shake in your hands. The weather was perfect, it was sunny and beautiful but it wasn’t too hot and even though you shouldn’t say it, if somebody forgot to wear sunscreen for a couple of hours, they’d get off burn-free.

This day had been perfectly chosen, the location, venue, color scheme and of course, the weather to ensure it was the perfect location at the perfect time. Just as everything was when the Roy name was attached and you had a casual perfectionist like Stewy Hosseini as your groom. Your wedding day had been carefully curated as if it were an exhibition at the most pretentious and lauded of museums and galleries. The receipts, emails, and photos could be packaged like Sofia Coppola’s Archive and sold as another overpriced coffee table book that wouldn’t get touched beyond the hands of the wealthy at a ridiculous launch event.

Despite the sheer perfection of this intimate Italian wedding, you were shaking slightly and there had been a ball of dread growing in your stomach the moment that woke you up. The kind of almost nausea you had that was pre-flying anxiety whenever you had a flight, the one that means you don’t eat the morning of and then feel even more nauseated later because of that.

You rub your eyes and look at him, sleeping blissfully, completely ignorant of the shitstorm swirling inside of his bride. You’re still feeling anxious. Anxious to be this vulnerable in front of another human being, to be so vulnerable on an intimate level. Love is a weakness, a desire, and you’re declaring in front of everyone and legally that this person, this man holding you right now is your weakness. It’s terrifying.

You get out of bed and start to pace as you think about how you’re just as cursed as everyone else in your family and all their doomed relationships that were infertile for love and how nobody in the Roy family ever got the memo of what a healthy relationship is. You start to anxiously scratch your neck as you come to the conclusion that just like everything else in your life, this day is doomed. It’s cursed in fact! You can’t help but think.

Unsure of whether to scream, run away or cry you look around the room. You even think about climbing out of the window of the suite… Why are you thinking this when there’s a door. A goddamn door you could just climb out of! You facepalm yourself and mutter under your breath how stupid you are. These feelings are very real and it’s definitely not a trauma response or form of self-sabotage you think to yourself.

Stewy wakes up and you hear him whisper that it’s because of your pacing as he looks at you with sleep still in his eyes and his hair handsomely but messily tousled from sleep. It’s only then that you realize that you had been pacing.

“I need something to drink… juice… fruit juice.” You said as you paced around the room.

“Fruit juice…?” Stewy asked curiously, he’d only just woken up and he was trying to keep track with the frantic rambling while also calming your nerves.

“Yeah, fruit juice!” You said it almost defensively and then tried to take a deep breath but the oxygen wouldn’t go all the way down to the pit of your stomach like it should. “Your body absorbs glucose quicker through liquids than solids. ” You added on in a less defensive tone.

“Um…okay?” Stewy was feeling more confused as he watched you. “Are you going to explain the difference between veins and arteries to me next?” He asked in a curious and gentle tone with a slight inflection of amusement.

“Maybe my blood sugar’s low.”

“Low? Your blood sugar? Are you okay?” Stewy’s voice was more concerned now and his face reflected that as his eyes widened and he tilted his head. Stewy quickly poured a drink and handed it to you, you drank it immediately while pacing with your back to him.

“Maybe today is cursed?” “It’s not cursed, hon-” “But,” you cut him off. “Look at us, we’re sleeping in the same suite, same bed. I woke up as the little spoon Stew. It’s breaking tradition, bad luck, curse-” “That’s like not even a superstition, you’re not wedding superstitious.” He says as he runs a hand through his dark curls.

“Maybe I should’ve been? This is-” “Honey, it’s a tradition. An outdated one that just doesn’t reflect modern relationships anymore. We live together. Kinda defeats that whole thing, that was when couples didn’t live together, it was arranged marriages and you met at the altar.” “I know.” You whisper, and you do.

“Fortunately for us, that’s not our situation at all.” He smiles at you and you sigh as you look around, this hasn’t done anything for your anxiety yet though.

“Did you ever think that-that… that well, anxiety is like a parasite-” You start to say before he cuts you off.

You’re just taking turns doing it now, he cuts you off to reassure you and then you cut yourself off to catastrophize more. What a morning of the wedding day dynamic you’ll think about in 5 years. “No, I haven’t but-” Stewy sounds mildly flabbergasted but he’s still trying. “And I had this parasite left in me, that they didn’t even know to take out when I was born. An awful little parasite of the parasitic qualities of my parents and it just ate away… fed and grew during every fucking developmental stage Stewy.” “You don’t have a parasite.” He’s being soft and genuine with you as he speaks through all of the worst fears your spitting out at him right now.

“No, I’ve become the parasite, the poison drips through and it trickled right into feeding and I’m… I’m just like him. I don’t want to be Stew, but I am.” There’s a desperation in your voice but also a resolution. “You’re nothing like your father. Right now, you share his last name and that is it. You are not him and you are not doomed to repeat the cycle.” Stewy says as he looks into your eyes.

“I’m a parasite and I’m just consumed… I’m going to latch onto you and just ruin you and this is just going to become miserable Stewy. I’m a Roy, it’s just…it’s just how it works. Look at my parents. My dad and his marriages. My dad and every relationship he’s had.” You say as you frantically run your fingers through your hair.

“Again, you’re not your dad. And you’re not your mother. We’re not your parents or any other weird item they’ve been a part of.” He says as he steps closer to you and tries to gently caress your arms.

“You get rid of parasites through antiparasitics and antibiotics, not marriage! That’s li-like… that’s like signing away your life for the parasite to chew on!” You spit out nervously.

“Good thing you’re not a parasite and you can’t marry them. And also for medicine existing.” Stewy says, he puts on a warm smile and his eyes glow as he tries to reassure you. “You’re okay babe, you’re okay. Just talk to me, just some jitters? What’s going on?”

His voice is so gentle as always and perfect. The way he speaks is just warm and inviting, like a cosy bath you just want to sink into and forget about everything in. His stupidly perfect voice just always had a way of making you melt, whether that was when he was trying to reassure you at your breaking point (right now), flirting with you and even when he was talking Wall St finance bro jargon and rubbish.

You took a deep breath and looked at him, your eyes were watery.

“Fuck…Now my eyes are watery and I’m going to get scolded for being puffy when they do make up, Stew.” You wiped your eyes and Stew quickly pulled you into his arms again and you rested your head against his chest as you tried to breathe.

“Some deep breaths honey, I love you and you love me.” He rubs your back gently in a comforting pattern and you take some deep breaths as you keep your face pressed against his comforting warmth.

“I do love you.” You whisper against his chest, you’re feeling a bit calmer now and enjoying the circular motions of how he’s gently caressing your back. Your words bring a smile to his face which you don’t see.

“Uh-huh, that’s why we’re getting married. We love each other lots, and always will. I haven’t seen the dress but I know you’re going to look smoking.” He says sweetly but the playful tone is evident and it makes you smile a little.

There’s still a feeling of terror dwelling inside of you but it’s easing up a bit, you look at him Stewy and you can’t help but be that scary thing, the thing your siblings run from and your father scolds, but vulnerable.

“What if I fuck it all up? That’s all… That’s all that Roys seems to be able to do.” You say sadly as you look up at him, you love him and it’s all you want to do.

Stewy gently caresses your face, his soft fingertips dancing across your cheek and he smiles adoringly.

“Well, it’s a good thing that in a few hours you’ll be a Hosseini.” You both let out a small chuckle at that and your eyes get a little teary at how he knows just how to disarm you perfectly with his big brown eyes, and his sweet and silly humour. “But even if you weren’t,” he adds on tenderly. “It doesn’t mean you’re the people before you, or your siblings. This isn’t bad, this doesn’t make you weak. It’d be such a lonely life if you never let anyone in, honey. Nobody deserves to feel the kind of loneliness you think you deserve because you grew up with that man and never experienced the love you deserved. That wasn’t normal or your fault. You’re worth love, you let me in and I love you. I loved you before you did and I love you even more now, and I’m just going to keep loving you.” His words are earnest and you can’t help but become even more tearier. It’s not from self-doubt or self-hate like it was before. Instead it’s from being so seen and loved by Stewy. Having someone reassure your worries and reactions, confrontations to being loved. Something that’s just so, so, so, so foreign to the Roys.

You look up at his big beautiful brown eyes and you see that he means every word he’s just said. He’s still hugging you but he caresses your cheek with one hand and you let out a content sigh at that.

“I’m sorry for… for this… I’m just… I don’t know, scared and-and you know how it gets sometimes. I love you more than anything though Stewy.” You admit as you lift your hand up to sit on his cheek and feel his always perfectly trimmed beard tickle against your palm and fingertips.

“I know, I know, and I love you.” He says back softly.

You lean and tilt your head and you two kiss, it starts off soft and you can’t help but deepen it as you once again admit to yourself, the all-consuming love you have for him and the need you have for him. The desire and need that is sparked by his simple existence, his cologne, his beard and how it feels against your face and hands, his voice of warm honey on a cold day.

His hand is firmly on your waist and he kisses you back, your hand snakes up to caress and run through his hair and you gasp for air against his lips but you don’t dare to pull away. You love him and you’re happy to have him, so happy. You kiss passionately as you know this is the start of the next milestone, the milestone happening today. He genuinely cares about you and you’re loved and you love, you love him. You’re capable of receiving and giving love and as you kiss your groom in your room before the intimate but big-deal ceremony, you know this is right. This is what’s right and you deserve this.

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itsdanii · 3 years

Note

can i req the iwa, atsumu, and suna being in a secret relationship w the reader and the reader gets insecure bc they wanna keep it a secret? w comfort after plspls

Hey, bubs! Of course, you can request ♥️ Unfortunately, I'm only taking 1-2 characters per request so I canceled Iwaizumi from the list. Also, this is only Atsumu's part. Don't worry, I'm still going to do Suna's part, however, it will be uploaded tomorrow instead of today. I hope you enjoy it! Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! ♥️

Secret Relationship

genre: semi-angst to fluff, comfort

warning/s: self doubt and insecurity, descriptions of anxiety, do message me if i missed any

a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. atsumu miya

maybe keeping your relationship wasn't the best decision after all

Atsumu Miya

You and Atsumu have been in a relationship for 2 years now

With the rising popularity of Atsumu, not only throughout Inarizaki but to the other schools as well, he decided on keeping your relationship a secret

Though you respected Atsumu's choice, it can't be helped that sometimes your emotions got the best of you

Random girls would always approach your boyfriend. They were basically anywhere, everywhere - at school, during practice matches, and even when you were both trying to have a simple date on a nearby cafe

You tried to confront Atsumu about it once but you only ended up fighting, him saying that there was nothing to worry for because you were the only person he loved

So despite the heavy feeling of insecurity looming over you, you tried to understand his side which eventually caused the both of you to make up

You tried to ignore the insecurity and put your trust on Atsumu

But maybe sometimes, trust isn't just enough

"Y/n, someone's looking for you."

You lifted your gaze from the book you were reading, eyes snapping towards the direction of the door where two unfamiliar students were currently standing and waiting for you.

Even without having the need to hear what they needed you for, you instantly knew why they're here. For the past weeks, after Inarizaki's defeat against Karasuno, you've been bombarded by several girls, holding chocolates and teddy bears in hand, asking you to deliver them to Atsumu since they were afraid of giving it to him directly. So, as his "bestfriend," they wanted you to give it to him instead.

And although you wanted to be mad and scream at them to stop, you couldn't just do that. It would be wrong for you to snap at them since nobody, aside from Suna and Osamu, knew about you and Atsumu's relationship.

Sighing loudly, you shut the book you were reading and went over to the two girls with a semi-forced smile. "For 'Tsumu?" you asked, taking the paperbag from them and taking a peek of what's inside.

One of the girls nodded eagerly, her eyes sparkling as she fanned her face with her hands. "Yes, please! I really really like Atsumu and the way he played from the previous match was so splendid! With every spike, I can't help but fall in love even more!"

You could only chuckle at what she said because even though there was a feeling of jealousy inside of you, you wouldn't be able to deny that what she said was true. You loved how he was able to inspire other people through sports and you couldn't be more proud of being his s/o.

"Please hand this letter to Atsumu, senpai!" the other girl said, bowing down as she handed you a letter.

You reluctantly took the envelope from her, your body becoming stiff as you muttered a small "Okay."

"I put all my feelings and support in that letter so I'd really appreciate if you handed it to him," she said with a smile.

Just how were you supposed to tell these girls to stop giving you stuff and ordering you to hand them over to your boyfriend? You weren't the type of person who would hinder others to relay their feelings. In fact, it wasn't your job to blatantly tell them to give up. It was Atsumu's responsibility, not yours.

But it wasn't your obligation to be their messenger as well.

Torn between two sides, you decided on maintaining a polite smile, giving the two juniors a pat on the head before nodding. "I'll make sure to deliver these to him, okay? Now, go back to your classroom and study well."

The two girls glanced at each other, eyes sparkling before smiling at you. "Thank you so much!" Turning around, the two went on their way, squealing slightly at their successful mission.

You, on the other hand, sighed and stared at the paperbag with a small frown. "Guess that's two more girls on the list," you mumbled before slipping back inside your classroom.

When the class ended, you immediately headed to the gym where you knew Atsumu was currently training. With the paperbag and 2 more boxes of chocolate given by some fangirls along the way, you entered the gym and placed the items down on the empty bench.

"That fer me, angel?" came Atsumu's voice from behind you.

Spinning around, you were met with a grinning Atsumu before getting engulfed with a warm hug. Sighing with your eyes closed, you wrapped your arms around him tightly, unconsciously gripping the back of his jersey. You couldn't help but bury your face more to his chest despite the slight sweat clinging to his clothes.

"Ya alright?" Atsumu murmured beside your ear, worry obviously evident on his tone as he slightly squeezed you.

As you were about to answer, someone from behind Atsumu cleared their throat. Your small moment was immediately cut off and Atsumu reeled back as if you were caught doing something wrong.

The comfort he brought awhile ago was instantly replaced by uncertainty and insecurity, making your heart throb as you bit your lower lip.

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?" Aran asked while shifting his gaze between you and Atsumu.

With a forced chuckle, Atsumu was quick to scratch the back of his head. "It's fine. I was just givin' y/n here a hug. They seem kinda down. Ya know, bestfriend duties."

Bestfriend.

"Ah.." Aran simply muttered with a slow nod. "Practice is almost done. Why don't ya sit down while we cool down and clean up?"

Sitting down on the bench, you looked at Aran with a small smile before nodding. "Okay," you said before turning your head to Atsumu's direction. His eyebrow was already raised as if asking you whether you were fine or not.

"I'm fine Atsumu. I'll wait for you here."

When the boys went back to the court, you were left alone to ponder with your thoughts. It felt as if the sounds around you suddenly died, your self doubts once again making its presence known.

You knew how much Atsumu loves you. In fact, he never failed to remind you everyday. Not once did he forgot to say it and express it through actions, or at least when you were both alone.

Everytime you were in school, he would deny your relationship. When people asked if you were his s/o, he would simply shake his head and claim you as his bestfriend. It really didn't bother you at first but as the time passed, you were slowly starting to question why he would do such thing.

Though he claimed that it was to avoid people from harassing you and picking on you, was it really? What if there was a deeper reason?

What if he was slowly getting tired of you? What if he didn't even liked you in the first place?

You anxiously tapped your foot on the floor at the thought. Gripping the hem of your hoodie, you stared at the gifts you brought from his fangirls. You knew that it was an act of invading someone's privacy but you couldn't help but reach for the letter given by your junior awhile ago.

You took a quick glance at the boys, checking if they were still cooling down, before opening the envelope slowly. As you read on the letter, you unconscious tapped your foot faster on the floor, your grip on the paper tightening as you let each words sink into you.

Bit by bit, you absorbed what was written on the paper, making the unpleasant feeling inside you deepen. You wouldn't deny that the letter was well written and you were certain that if it was handed to Atsumu by that girl personally, she might be able to get his attention.

After all, she was pretty. She looked like a bubbly person and someone who people would easily get along with. There was an optimistic aura around her which you knew Atsumu would appreciate.

And maybe if-

"Y/n."

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Atsumu's hand touching your shoulder.

Jolting up slightly, you looked up at him with wide eyes, immediately noticing the worried expression on his face. "Tsumu.." you mumbled with a shaky voice, your eyes glossing with tears as your lips trembled.

Atsumu was quick to sit down beside you. Lifting you up, he sat you down on his lap and nestled your face on the side of his neck, knowing how much you hated it when people see you crying.

"Y-your teammates," you mumbled against his skin, hiding your face even more as you tightened your grip on the letter you were holding, almost crumpling it.

"Let's worry about them later, alright, angel? Yer my priority and ya know that," he answered while rubbing your back, "Now, tell me what happened. Why are ya crying?"

With the overwhelming emotions surrounding you, it took you a few seconds before you could answer, and you were thankful that Atsumu was patient enough to wait instead of forcing you. "Do you really love me, Tsumu?"

You felt Atsumu stiffen at your question and for a biref moment, you were scared of hearing the answer.

Was this it? Was he really lying to you all this time?

"Look at me, angel," Atsumu said, slightly pulling away from his embrace to cup your cheeks in his hands. "Of course, I do. Where is this coming from? Did somebody-"

"No," you cut him off. "It's just that... you always tell people that we're nothing but bestfriends. I can't always have my moments with you because you want to hide our relationship. It didn't really matter at first but... because of your constant denial, your fangirls would keep sending me these random stuffs and ask me to give them to you. I'm scared, Tsumu. What if one day you get tired of me... or worse, what if it's me who gets tired? I don't like this set-up..."

"Y/n-"

"I want to be able to express my feelings. I want the people to know that you're mine. Why can't you show them that you love me, Tsumu?... Do you even love me?"

Atsumu was left speechless as he listened to your words. All he could do was rub your back soothingly while listening to you as you let everything out. As you did, the guilt inside of him kept on piling up, enough to make him clench his jaw at how disappointed he was at himself for making you cry.

"Of course, I do. I love ya so much, angel. Don't ever ferget that. I'm sorry fer not taking yer feelings in consideration. I didn't know that ya have been feeling this way fer quite a while now. I really thought that we were already fine after our first argument about this but.. I guess I should've paid more attention," Atsumu said while staring at you, his hands still cupping your cheeks to angle your face to him. "The reason why I wanted to hide our relationship was fer people not to bother ya. It wasn't my intention to make ya feel insecure. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, angel." Wiping your cheeks with his thumb, Atsumu leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead. "Would it make ya feel better if we open our relationship to other people? No more hiding it."

Nodding, you wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled. "Mhm, yes, please."

"Alright, if that's what ya want."

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

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mothwithteeth · 3 years

Text

i’m well aware how i take curses and make them prayers

i was trying to find this in my posts but I can’t so I’m going to just repost it bc it’s mine and i can. maybe i’ll add this one to the master list (don’t hold me to it plz)

pairing: kirishima x reader

warnings: hurt/comfort smut, allusions to negative sexual experiences, heavy heavy consent, light corruption kink?

It’s just one finger. Just one. But you’re already squirming. You’re anxious, and you just want to get through this part. Just get to the important part, but it hurts. You know it’s not supposed to hurt, but it does anyway. It always has. You can take it.

“M-more” you choke out, trying not to visibly grit your teeth.

“Are you sure?” Eijirou asks, slowing slightly.

“Please,” don’t let him notice how tense you are. Act sexy. Stop being a baby.

Eijirou listens, albeit hesitantly, and adds another finger, stretching you even further. You hope the pained whimper you can’t suppress sounds close enough to a moan. You’re too tense, and it’s getting worse. You can feel the way your body is trying to force him out, no matter what your brain says. It’s buried under layers of instinct and muscle memory; mental scar tissue; too far down for rationality to affect it.

“Does that feel good?” It should sound sexy, but he’s a little too worried to pull it off. You can hear it in his voice. You’re not doing a good enough job. The wave of anxiety clamps your muscles down even tighter; entirely outside your control.

“Y-yeah!” your voice jumps an octave when your muscles spasm harder; burning with exertion and overextension. “Please, I can,” a soft hah of pain escapes you, “I can take it,” you insist. You can. You’ll get over it. Just get to the part he wants before he changes his mind. Realizes his mistake.

“I don’t want you to take it. I want you to enjoy it.”

Out of all the things threatening to crush you at that exact moment, that simple statement knocks the wind out of you. On some level, you know that sex is supposed to be mutually pleasurable, but that got lost somewhere along the way. Another thing you believe everyone but you deserves. Somehow it didn’t occur to you that you should also enjoy having sex. That’s never mattered. You just know that you have to do this. This is how relationships work. No one is going to want you if you don’t put out.

“Hey,” his fingers withdraw. No no no no no you ruined it you ruined it you ruined everything- His other hand on your cheek, guiding your eyes to his, grounds you; interrupts that loop. “Talk to me.”

You have a chance, here, to be vulnerable with another person. You’ve known Eijirou for a while, but are you willing to take that risk? You take a deep breath. If he’s going to leave if you tell the truth, you shouldn’t be sleeping with him, you remind yourself. “I have… a history, I guess you could call it. It makes things… weird. It takes me too long to adjust and I just-” you have to pause to catch your breath. Don’t hyperventilate. You’ve already made this bad enough. “I don’t want you to get bored or anything because it takes too long, you know? So I just… Ride out the bad part.”

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand at all, and it tugs uncomfortably in his stomach. He’s not about to just say that, though. He’s got some tact. “Bored? You think I could get bored of you?”

“I mean you’re not getting anything out of it so…”

“I get to make you feel good. That’s what I want.” His gaze doesn’t waver. There’s an intensity in his eyes that makes your stomach flutter in a way that’s more pleasure than nausea. Oh. You kinda like that. “Let me make you feel good, okay?” He guides you to lean back against the headboard.

Deep breath. “Okay.”

“Please tell me if anything doesn’t feel good. I wanna know.” This time you can only nod. Yeah. You can do that. “Good girl.” He smiles at you, and you’re pretty sure your heart stops. Yeah. You’ll do anything he says to get him to say that again.

Eijirou’s hand lands on your thigh, searing hot against your skin. “You okay?” he asks again.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you answer. You are. A little nervous, but okay.

He leans in to kiss you, soft and sweet, as his hand slips between your thighs. He goes more slowly this time, gently rubbing your clit for a moment before sliding his middle finger into you. You can’t help but gasp against his lips, the stretch still bordering overwhelming. Right on the line of uncomfortable, but not quite crossing it. “Still okay?” he doesn’t pull away; humid breath puffing against your cheek.

“Y-yeah,”

“Tell me what you’re feeling, angel.” The pet name makes you melt to the point where you barely even recognize that he’s telling you to actually do something.

“I- I don’t know,” there’s too much roaring in your head to focus. You’re certain he’s going to give up. How are you supposed to do this? None of it makes sense, and you can’t even begin to sort it out. If you can’t handle yourself, how is he supposed to?

“Does anything hurt?” Eijirou’s voice pulls you back to reality.

“No,” you wiggle your hips to make sure, but it doesn’t hurt. It’s just unfamiliar, and you don’t know how you feel about it yet.

“Good,” he leans in to kiss you again. And again. And again.

You don’t even realize the time passing as you fall deeper into your arousal, clinging to Eijirou’s shoulders like a lifeline. Bit by bit, your body relaxes, adjusting to the unfamiliar stretch.

“I can- I- more, please,” it’s embarrassing to be this breathless from something so simple, especially when Eijirou is so calm. He listens, and gently withdraws his finger, only to replace it with two before you can miss that feeling. The stretch is more intense, but not inherently painful, and as you get used to it, you can relax a little more. This is okay. You are okay.

At some point, without your notice, you had become convinced that another person would never be able to satisfy you the way you can satisfy yourself, and that you were never going to experience pleasure from another person. And then he crooks his fingers ever so slightly and your hips jackrabbit off the bed, a surprised moan escaping before you can stifle it. “Do you like that?” Eijirou asks with a pleased grin.

“I-I think s-oH!” he does it again in the middle of your answer. He can’t help himself, you’re so cute. Is it still a corruption kink if he wants to show you how good he can make you feel? How he can satisfy needs you’ve never acknowledged? Perhaps, but that doesn’t matter. Not when he has such a pretty thing in his bed that has been neglected for far too long.

You can barely keep up between breath-stealing kisses and gentle thrusts of Eijirou’s fingers. “Think you can do another?” he asks.

“Yeah, yeah, please,” you pant. How could he deny you when you ask so sweetly?

Eijirou obliges, three fingers finding their way into your almost-too-snug cunt. He kisses your forehead as you mewl and squirm, trying to somehow adjust. “Good?”

“G-good,” you nod shallowly, eyes squeezed shut against the intensity.

“Hey, look at me,” he insists. It still takes you a moment to open up teary eyes. You can’t help it; everything is just so much. “Breathe for me.” Another little nod, and a deep, lung-filling breath. “Good girl,” with another blinding grin from him. Eijirou pretends he doesn’t feel the effect he’s having, but oh is he living for the way you clench around his fingers; a deep throb of pleasure versus a spasm of pain; he’s already noticed the difference.

You completely lose track of yourself while he makes you see stars, kissing you breathless and taking you apart with his fingers, but there’s something… missing. You want to be closer. It almost startles you to realize that you actually want him to fuck you. What a wild concept. You tap on Eijirou’s shoulder. He pulls back to look at you intently. The thought that, no matter what you say, he is going to listen and take care of you strikes you full force, but you can’t let it stop you. “I want more, please,” you can barely look him in the eye as you ask. You’re trying to kill him. You must be.

“Hm?” he asks. He can’t help it. He wants to hear you say it.

“I want you. Please, Eiji,” you ask again.

“Want me to what, angel?” You give him a pleading look. “C’mon. You can tell me. I’ve got you,” he goads. That has every intended effect as he feels you melt in his arms.

“I want you to fuck me,” you say shyly, not quite able to keep eye contact. He won’t hold it against you.

“Anything you want, baby.” and you know he means it.

You’re fine until he’s positioned against you, not quite pushing inside. “Wait!” you don’t mean to yelp and pull away, but he let’s you put those inches between you. Anything you need. “You’ll go slow, right?” If he wasn’t so desperate to make you feel good, the way his heart breaks just thinking about what would make you react like this might be enough to put him off. Luckily, it gives him a burst of desire to make this the perfect experience.

With barely any effort, he rolls the two of you over, resting you comfortable against his hips for the time being. “We’ll go at your pace, okay?” The change in position takes a weight you didn’t know you were bearing off of you. The control lets you breathe easier. (you can get away if you need to) As hard as it is for Eijirou to let you do the work, he just wants to make you feel safe.

It only takes a few moments of reassurance and gentle touching to build the mood back up and to have his cock pressed against you once again. The size is intimidating. You’re not sure how it’s supposed to fit, but you want to try.

That first inch almost has you turning back; it’s just so intense you can’t even tell whether it hurts or not. You quickly decide it does not hurt. In fact, it feels better than you could’ve ever imagined. Eijirou’s gentle grip on your hips tightens ever so slightly. He would swear up and down he’s never felt anything better; that you’re absolutely perfect for him.

That first inch does take a little while to get used to, as does the next one. Eijirou doesn’t rush you as you pant and gasp with every movement of your hips. “Tell me what you’re feeling, angel.” Your eyes are nearly glassy as you process what he wants from you. Every fiber of you is focused on the cock inside of you. The stretch, the struggle of relaxation, the desire to just impale yourself and get it over with fighting with the part of you that knows you can and should take your time.

“‘S’good,” is all you can think of to describe it. All the words you know, any one in any language, none of them filter through the distraction of physical touch. You expect him to ask you to keep going, but he doesn’t. Not even after a few minutes with very little progress down his shaft. It’s almost like there’s too much for you to focus on. How are you supposed to make out and ride a dick?

That’s probably how you end up settling your hips against Eijirou’s; to your own surprise after a seemingly endless descent. The contact is nearly jarring, but you’re grateful for it. That’s the whole thing. You did it (and it doesn’t hurt). You can cry about your breakthrough later. For now, you’re desperate for more. For him.

You stay like that for what feels like forever, grinding gently against the base of his cock as you try to adjust to the feeling. Eijirou is once again convinced that you’re trying to kill him. Between the feeling of being inside you and watching the way you’re learning what feels good is driving him crazy. He’s almost glad you haven’t started moving yet; he’s not sure he could take it.

Neither of you are prepared for how good it feels when you do move, though. Dual moaning fills the room, and you’d be self-conscious if you could remember how. Everything about this is new and exciting and good and you can’t help but be swept up in it; all but crying as you ride him.

Unfortunately for you, this is exhausting work, and you are deeply unfamiliar with using this particular set of muscles. You want to keep going, but you can’t fight the burn in your muscles forever. “Could you- I-” How are you supposed to ask this?

“Getting tired?” It’s mean to tease, but you look so sweet when you turn red and nod. He rolls the two of you over smoothly. “Anything you want, baby,” he reiterates, rolling his hips into yours for emphasis. The movement draws a moan out of you before you can stop it. You didn’t think it could get better, but this angle is new and exciting; taking you closer and closer to your release with every brush against your g-spot.

When you do finally, finally reach that peak, it’s more than Eijirou can take. Your back arches, mouth dropped open in a high moan of his name as your fingernails dig into his biceps. Your thighs shake around his hips as if they’re trying to close, but he doesn’t let that happen. He pushes flush against you, grinding your clit against his pubic bone. The increase in friction nearly makes you scream. As it is he has to stop against the clenching of your insides. While you’re still trying to catch your breath, Eijirou pulls out, tugging his cock once, twice, and finishing on your heaving stomach. It’s warm and sticky, but you don’t get a chance to even express discomfort before he’s wiping it off with a tissue. Bare basics taken care of, he can finally flop down next to you and wrap you up in his arms.

“How are you feeling?” he asks after a moment, petting your hair gently.

“Good. I kind of want a shower.”

“You got it.” and before you can even whine to stay five more minutes, he’s already got you scooped up to clean you up. You might be able to get used to this.

#bnha smut #kirishima x reader smut #this is so goddamn self indulgent i can't #but i want to have it so i'm posting it again #maybe i'll be able to find the original someday

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uuujeewriting · 3 years

Text

you can do it! [albedo, kaeya, childe, zhongli and diluc]

s/o has been going through a depressive episode and lacks motivation to finish their work and is getting anxiety because of it

tw: none, mentions of depression/anxiety, nothing too much. fluffy comfort <3

albedo x gn!reader, kaeya x gn!reader, childe x gn!reader, zhongli x gn!reader, diluc x gn!reader

a/n: self indulgent bc i'm way behind school and in the middle of a depressive episode so motivation's been lacking ;-; hope you guys are having a good week tho!

i would like to clarify that if any of these scenarios/hc's of mine are similar to other writers' works, it is unintentional and i apologize

albedo

oh? unmotivated you say.. self depricating thoughts? intrusive ones too?

albedo was never one to mope around when he was stuck on some problem he's yet to puzzle together, but seeing you exhausted, anxious and so... dull–he desperately wants to take all your worries away

he's a bit slow, failing to realize your depressive episode for a few days. as it prolongs, he notices how you seem to talk down to yourself and give up easily

sometimes, you don't even start work at all

this is due to your anxiety, he assumes as you think you're incapable of finishing or doing the work satisfactorily enough.

pulling you into an embrace from behind as you work on the projects you've been stuck on for the past few weeks, he gently whispers into your shoulder

"darling, have you been alright recently? are you in need of assistance?" he asks

he presses a loving kiss on your neck and you stifle a chuckle

"it's that apparent, no? i've been under the weather for quite a while now.."

as you explain your reasons and all your troubles to his end, he nods and hums ever so often

"you must be feeling drained, hm? well, frankly enough, i seem to need a break myself."

"eh? albedo where-!!”

he pulls you away from your working place and carries you to the couch, laying you down gently as he smiles at you

"aside from your unmotivated self, i reckon you need reassurance for those intrusive thoughts of yours."

and that, ladies, gentlemen and folks, is how you end up cuddling with albedo until the sun sets and you fall asleep

bask in the comfort of his words as he calls you his everything and more :')) <333

kaeya

my, oh my. what's gotten into his precious little love?

he's sharp, quite easily takes notice to your frantic and dim self.

he sees you sitting outside, head in your hands and sighs leaving your lips every now and then

unbeknownst to you, he creeps behind you and presses a careful peck on the nape of your neck, causing you to flinch and look back quickly

he was about to laugh at your cuteness, but as soon as he's reminded of your troubled state, he sits beside you and takes your face into his hands

sir we're in the plaza-

"oh archons, why is my sunshine so dim these days?" he pouts

rip u probably after this

"kaeya.. well, you see-"

and as you explain your current doubts and anxieties, he strokes your cheeks softly and looks into your eyes fondly

when you're finished, he nods and presses a light kiss on your forehead, a silent promise to accompany and help you on your endeavors to face your troubles

"i'll always be here for you, my love. if there's anything i can help you with, do not hesitate to come into my arms, hm?"

"noted, mr. suave"

jkjk o r a m i

he laughs and kisses you on the edge of your mouth

"what say you we head into the tavern for a bit? you could use some relaxation, right?"

as if you had a choice other than to say yes

childe

this man would know the second it started

having a bunch of siblings has its benefits huh

when he walks into your shared room and sees you on the edge, tears brimming your eyes he sits you down on your bed

"hey, hey.. i'm here, it's alright."

as you cry in his embrace, he rocks you gently, shushing you softly in an attempt to hinder your tears

"you can tell me if you're up for it, honey. i'm never too busy for you."

"i-it's just that-"

mhm. oh? why, how dare they treat you so harshly. really? why must you have to be burdened so heavily?

he acknowledges your struggles and worries with gentle strokes and brushing through your hair

"you have it really rough, don't you? ah well, nothing we can do but-"

"childe?"

he stands up and leaves the room for a second

he comes back with food, drinks, your favorite clothing of his, a scented candle you bought and some books you have yet to finish reading

the action warms your heart as you sniffle and smile at your lover

as soon as he lays down with you, prepare to never see daylight again as he won't let go for the longest, and i mean longest time ever

"i love you, y/n. you're strong and don't let anything, not even yourself, make you think otherwise."

zhongli

dearest, must life be so unfair to you? why you out of all people?

zhongli is wise–he knows something is bothering you when it does. that being said, he isn't sure whether or not he should approach you so directly

especially if it seems like a sensitive topic

instead, in your depressive state and anxious fiddling, he calls you over to him

he pulls you into his lap as he takes your face into his hand and kisses you tenderly

"my dear, has anything been bothering you? might i offer my hand in dealing with them?"

you'd think kaeya's mr. suave then this man pops up with his broke ass

"as a matter of fact.."

as you go on and state your dealings and troubles, he listens with an almost solemn look

he looks at you with utmost affection and concern when you finish

"the terrains of life have been steep and intimidating, you have been very commendable for braving through these, my dearest."

he places his lips onto your own and strokes the back of your head lovingly

for a reserved man, zhongli easily expresses his affection for you in multitudes of ways

his kisses being one of them

after parting your lips, he peppers your face with his kisses and you laugh quietly at his ministrations

"might i suggest a quick stroll to take your mind off things?"

you agree, thinking that once you head home, you'll be back to work with a clearer mind

little did you know mr. no money in his pockets got a liiiittle surprise for you as you won't be returning to your work any time soon :DDDD

by 'surprise' i mean he's taking you out to dinner

yall nasties

diluc

diluc is a busy man, dealing with a winery and all

along with his night profession (which he has only admitted to you and the traveling duo)

you did your best to hide your troubled self and aid him in his work, but you can only hold the facade for so long before it eats you up inside

when you break, he is slightly taken aback but is quick to comfort you

he sees you shaking and situates you on his couch as he sits beside you, rubbing your back as you curl into his figure

he's very warm

"sweetheart, would you mind telling me the problem?" he asks

he waits for an answer as you're still trying to find the words

"diluc, i'm sorry for bothering you.. i know you have plenty on your schedule and-”

"y/n, you're my top priority, no matter what. my work is nothing compared to what you mean to me."

and it's true, you're really his top priority

woohoo !! :DD

when you explain your anxieties and doubts to diluc, he's very understanding and listens to you earnestly

"-and that's why i've been so.. down, let's put it."

he strokes your face and presses his forehead to your own, looking you in the eye softly

he pulls you in tighter and closer, pressing kisses to your jawline and below your ear

"thank you for expressing your troubles with me, my love. i'm sorry for not noticing earlier."

"no need, love, you're very busy and i can't thank you enough for taking the time to understand me."

he pulls away for a second and shakes his head

"again, my work is nothing compared to you. i am willing to put aside all my responsibilities for a week in order to ensure your happiness."

uh wh a t

"ah," you laugh concerned, "sure–"

"which is what we're going to be doing this week." he smiles

welp. no turning back now

enjoy ur week with the redhead you utter s i m p

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edna-skiffens · 3 years

Text

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

Lmk if you want to be on my tag list

#tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland hc #tom holland blurb #tom holland one shot #tom holland headcanon #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom Holland #tom holland x y/n #nurse!tom #nurse!tom au #nurse!tom Holland #nurse!tom x patient!reader #sick!reader #edna skiffens writes #writing #my writing

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roscgcld · 3 years

Text

GOJO SATORU || ends of the earth

request: can i request a scenario where Gojo and non-shaman!F!reader are on their first date, and they visit the beach to watch the sunset, and gojo suggests they head near the water to dip their feet in for bit because why not? turns out f!reader has a phobia of the ocean due to an incident when she was younger, which is a shocker bc f!reader appears to be very confident and fearless and independent . at first, gojo finds this sorta funny, but after seeing the severity of her fear, he tries to help her conquer her it. she climbs his back as he heads towards the shallow end of the ocean, just where the oceans crashes on the shore (after a lot of convincing on gojo’s part). 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕 just something really fluffy while showing the goofy side of gojo, and his soft and considerate side! thank you!!!!

note: honestly, i love this idea honestly cx this is so cute - i can see gojo doing this for his lover if she is scared cx it’s very fluffy and such a fun thing to write for c: also I changed it so that they are both dating for awhile, since i struggled a lot writing it the other way around lol cx but i think this isn’t that bad??? so i hope you don’t mind~

pronouns: she/her

The smell of the ocean was the first thing that hit your senses once you got out of your car, glancing over at your boyfriend to see him smiling widely at the sight of the quiet beach before you two. Today will be the first time in awhile that you get to see your boyfriend, with him busy being a sorcerer fighting curses across Japan. Because of this, you two decided that a date was in order.

Hence why you two found yourselves at a beach after you two made some simple picnic food to eat. “God, I can’t remember the last time I saw a beach.”

“Don’t make yourself sound so old.” You said with a soft smile as you grabbed the beach mat whilst he grabbed the basket with the food you prepared, Gojo just giving you a cheeky smile in response as he lowered his sunglasses a little, revealing his beautiful glowing blue eyes over the round rims of his sunglasses. “You love me regardless.” Was his simple response, to which you just raise an eyebrow at him before you locked the car behind the both of you. “I’ll let you think that’s the case then.”

Ignoring his dramatic gasp, you made your way down the entrance of the beach, walking down the steps leading towards the sandy beach. If you were being honest, if you had a choice, you wouldn’t have chosen the beach to have your date at. When you were younger, a huge wave had swept you out to sea once; and if it wasn’t for a nearby surfer who heard your mother’s cries for help, you would have drowned. Ever since then, you had never stepped a foot into the ocean anymore.

However, you’ve never told your boyfriend this fact. Maybe it was because it didn’t come up, or maybe it’s because you were embarrassed - but you’ve never told him that you had an insane fear of the ocean. Hence why now, while you watched him try to pick the best spot to have a nice picnic by the beach together, you were trying to not show how nervous and awkward you were as you stood on the warm sand.

You had wanted to say something to him about the beach, but when you saw how excited he got at the idea to visit somewhere as simple as a beach, the words got stuck in your mouth. Since you weren’t in swimwear, you had decided that there was no harm just sitting on the coast. So, you swallowed you anxieties and walked towards your excited boyfriend, helping him set the beach mat down before you two settle down on the slightly rough and scratchy surface of the beach mat.

Soon the food was unwrapped and you two were laughing and joking with one another as you slowly went through the sandwiches you made from home. Besides the simple cold cut sandwiches, there was also the strawberry sando that Gojo had begged for you to make earlier. “See, isn’t this nice?” Gojo grinned as he looked over at you, dressed in a simple shirt and a pair of shorts, his skin seeming to glow underneath the slowly setting sun in the horizon. You could barely take your eyes away from how gorgeous and effortless he looks just sitting there, eating his sandwich.

You swear it wasn’t fair how perfect he was.

“You say this when you drag me away from work to cuddle you on the couch.” You commented back with a soft grin as you raised the chilled bottle of milk tea you had purchased at the petrol station when you were filling up on petrol. Gojo hums at the memory as he grins over at you, grabbing a tissue to wipe his mouth clean. “Princcess, you should know how much I enjoy spending any time I can with you.” He said with an innocent shrug, to which you just smiled at him warmly, knowing that underneath the teasing tone was him telling you the truth.

It made your heart warm, but you didn’t miss the chance to tease him a little. “And here I thought Mr Playboy Gojo will never settle down.” You tossed back teasingly, remember how Ieiri had mentioned that you had somehow managed to tame the flirtatious and womaniser Gojo when you first met his long time friend and co worker. Gojo just grins before he leans over to peck your lips softly, causing a light flush to travel up to your cheeks at how spontaneous that kiss was.

“Well, what idiot would let such an amazing woman slip through his fingers?”

His words caused your blush to deepen as you reached over to push his face away from yours, trying to hide your blush behind your free hand as he laughs and kisses your palm gently. With that the both of you returned to your food, slowly making your way through the rest of it. Then sunset had started to paint the beach in an array of beautiful colours just as you were packing up the rest of your cutlery.

Gojo tosses the tissues back into the basket as his sapphire blue eyes now on full display as he enjoys the sunset. “Princess, leave the basket for a bit.” He suddenly said as he looks over at you, causing you to pause as you tighten the bottle of half finished milk tea in your hands. “I want to walk along the water for a bit, the water looks extra nice today. And if I had an extra pair of clothes, I would have jumped in awhile go.” He ranted as he got up, dusting his shorts off; and somehow completely not noticing how you froze in fear at the idea of going to the water.

At first Gojo didn’t notice that you didn’t up with him until he was half way towards the shore when he realised that you aren’t behind him. Looking back curiously, he noticed how you seem to be frozen on the beach mat. “Hello? Earth to Y/N?” He called back to you with a confused frown, which only deepen when he realised that you looked too pale for his liking. At first he had no idea what was wrong with you until something clicked in his head, causing him to frown even more.

When Gojo firs met you, he admired the fact that you were fearless. You do not have Cursed Energy, yet you are able to see Curses - which was how Gojo saved you from becoming the next target of a Second Grade Curse. Well, when he got there you were handling yourself well - smacking the monster like Second Grade with your frilly pink umbrella, yelling at how it should ‘keep your disgustingly slimy and wet hands off my clean sweats’ while you assaulted the poor Curse. You weren’t doing much damage, yet at the same time the Curse was completely terrified of you to actually make a move.

Gojo actually watched for a few moments before going over to help you, asking how were you planning to exorcise the curse with your pink umbrella. Only to barely dodge you smacking his head with it. It was that moment when he knew you were the one though.

So you can’t blame him at how confused he was at to why someone who is brave enough to attack a Curse without a weapon looked terrified of the lightly crashing waves of the ocean. “Hey.”

Your eyes snapped towards a pair of glowing blue eyes, blinking rapidly as you tried to calm you slightly erratic breathing. However, you can never hide from your observant boyfriend, who frowns even more before he takes your shaking hands in his. “Y/N, are you afraid of the ocean?” He asked you in a soft voice, to which you just made a face before quietly looking away, as if you didn’t want to answer his question. Yet that alone gave him the answer he needed to know. “Princess, why didn’t you tell me? We could have went somewhere else if you are scared.”

Immediately your eyes looked over at his for a moment before looking down at your lap once more. “I just...you looked so happy, asking to come to the beach.” You mumble quietly, trying to take your hands back from his so you can fumble with your fingers out of habit. Gojo stopped that, squeezing your fingers between his as he tries to catches you gaze; realises that you were actively avoiding it. Eventually he lets your hands go in favour of cupping your face in his hands, forcing your eyes to look up at him.

“Y/N...you should never force yourself to do something you’re not comfortable with.” Gojo mumbles softly with a frown, to which you just bite your lip before you glanced away from his ever knowing eyes - knowing that deep down he was right. “You should never put yourself through something you’re not comfortable with, even if it’s for me.” He mumbles with a soft frown, to which you just let out a soft but shaky sigh, leaning forward to bury your face into his chest.

“But you always do so much for me..”

For a moment there was just silence before you felt Gojo nudging the side of your face with his nose, causing you to look up at him with nervous eyes. “I’ve got an idea.” He commented with a soft smile, something that was rare for you to see on his face as well. This caused you to raise a curious eyebrow as he grinned softly, an eyebrow raised as well. “Why don’t we try and overcome your fear together?”

It took a lot of convincing, and a lot of whines and blushes on your end before you agreed to get on his back. His plan? He plans to walk towards the end of the ocean with you on his back. He promises that he wasn’t going to drop you, and if he did, he’ll buy you bubble tea from the bubble tea store near your apartment. However, it took him giving you puppy eyes before you allowed him to turn your back to him; wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders tightly as you buried your tensed face into his neck.

The soft rumble of Gojo’s chuckle caused you to blush hard, gently kicking your foot out in frustration at him seeming to laugh at you as he started to walk towards the shore. “Cutie.” You heard him mumble softly, which had your heart skipping a beat once more and the blush on your cheeks to darken.

A few more steps and soon you heard the sound of the waves gently crashing onto the shore, causing a shiver of fear to slice through you as you tighten your grip around your boyfriend. “Loosen up, princess. You’re about to choke me.” Gojo said with an amused tone in his voice as he took another step forward, his feet resting on the wet sand beneath them as he tosses you an amused smirk. “We can definitely play tonight if you want.”

His words caused you to blush hard as you pulled your face out of his neck to glare at him murderously, only to be distracted by the crashing waves that were around you. Immediately you clammed up once more as you buried your face back into his neck once more; your entire body shaking from the fear. This cause Gojo’s teasing words to stop at the tip of his tongue as he tighten his grip on your legs, feeling bad that you looked so scared of the ocean. “We can go back if you want.”

At first you thought about it before you shook your head slowly, taking a few deep breaths to calm your pounding heart. “You sure, princess?” Gojo asks you in a calm yet soft tone, waiting for you to give him another nod before he smiles softly. “Alright. I’ll just stand here. You can look up when you’re ready.” He said simply, letting you know that he was just going to just stand here until you’re ready to look up.

It took awhile, but slowly you inched your eyes up to look up at the horizon before you. Only to have your breath taken away at the sight of the sun now setting at the horizon, the warm sunlight panting the world in an array of pinks, oranges, yellows and reds. You watched in awe at how the soft waves seem to reflect the sunset perfectly, creating a beautiful scene before you. The fear you felt inside slowly started to melt away as you watch the scene before you in awe, entrance by something as beautiful as a sunset by the ocean.

You were so distracted that you didn’t notice how Gojo was watching you over his shoulder, love and adoration practically oozing from his very person as he tighten his protective grip around your legs. It was this moment that he vowed that no matter what, he is going to protect you with his entire person.

That you were worth going to the ends of the earth for. Because you are his everything.

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willsimpforanyone · 3 years

Note

oooh i see your requests are open!! can i ask for tonynat with a sibling dynamic?? maybe older sister!nat making sure her idiot younger brother stays healthy?

im going to spam your inbox with requests, i hope you don't mind

omg omg hi!! you are so welcome to request anything you like as much as you want my love!

we're going back to 2012, with all the avengers living in the compound

slight tw, there is mentions of pills and drugs but it's just paracetamol, and nat and tony joke about implied death bc they're both depressed bastards and i love them

-----------------------------------------

The compound was silent. It would be odd otherwise, Nat thought as she wandered the halls. The lights were usually motion activated, but Jarvis turned them off at night to not disturb those who were asleep, so she was free to walk around as much as she liked when the nightmares got to her.

Hang on. Not completely silent. Just down the hall from her, there were noises, like metal being screwed.

Nat frowned. No one else should be up. She padded her way along the hall, listening carefully for where the sounds were coming from. They led her down a flight of stairs with seventeen steps (it helped her anxiety after nightmares to count), past eight different rooms until she reached... Tony's lab.

She rolled her eyes, a fond smile playing at her lips, and she pushed open the door.

The man himself was sitting on one of the tables, a welder in one hand and some kind of small metal contraption in the others. Nat wrapped her cardigan around herself against the slight chill in the room.

"Hey."

Tony's head snapped round, only barely masking his surprise. "Hey Four-Legged Spider, what're you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep." Nat hopped up on the table opposite him. Now that she was closer, she could see that Tony was paler than usual, his skin shiny with sweat and his hands were shaking slightly. "What about you?"

"Me neither." He clocked her slightly worried expression. "You know me, always tinkering." He waved about the metal thing in his hand. "Just a little something for Captain Liberty And Justice."

"Tony, you look awful, go to bed." She aimed a kick at his legs, but she was too far away and it was half-hearted at best.

He merely smiled. "I'm fine, get out of my lab."

"Fuck off," she smiled back, no malice behind her words. "I'm allowed to be anywhere I want. Now get your ass off the table and come with me to the kitchen, I know you haven't eaten all day."

Tony groaned, but allowed himself to be pulled off the table and walked out the lab. Nat looped her arm in his, leading him down the hallway (past six rooms) and into one of the small kitchens, designed specifically for when Tony was an idiot and didn't eat for days on end.

"Sit, idiot," Nat pushed him towards a barstool next to the counter. "I'm making you food."

"You can't cook for shit," Tony laughed, steadying himself on the stool. Nat swatted at him, and started cutting bread.

"It's just toast, even I can manage that, asshole." Nat popped the bread in the toaster, and sat next to Tony. "I wasn't kidding when I said you looked like shit, Tony. When did you last get some proper sleep?"

He shrugged, looking worse in the fluorescent lights. "What counts as proper sleep nowadays anyway?"

Nat rolled her eyes. "I'll take that as a 'definitely not recently'." She lightly punched Tony's arm. "We worry about you, y'know."

There was a pause, and the toast popped out the toaster. Nat slipped off the stool, retrieved a plate, knife and the butter from the fridge. Buttering the toast, she continued. "I worry about you. You're going to eat this, then taking some kind of medicine and going the fuck to bed." She slid the toast over to him.

Reluctantly, Tony began eating the toast. "Some kind of medicine?" He said, his mouth full. "That's vague and somewhat untrustworthy."

Nat grinned, winking. "I'm sure I'll find something for you to go to sleep for a long time."

Tony stuck his middle finger up, but grinned back anyway.

There was silence while he finished his toast, only broken when Nat took the plate away, washed it and put it back in the cupboard. She held out her arm for Tony to take, and the two of them made their way upstairs (two flights of stairs, each with seventeen steps and twenty-five rooms) to Tony's bedroom.

Nat dumped Tony on the bed, and padded over to the ensuite to rifle through the medicine cabinet. "Hey, you don't have much but you have paracetamol, want that?"

"Will it put me to sleep for a long, long time?" Tony's strained laugh followed his question, and Nat simply rolled her eyes. She grabbed the pills and filled the glass by the sink with water, carrying it out to Tony who was lying starfished on the bed.

"Get up bitch, take your drugs."

Tony groaned, but sat up, shooting Nat a grateful smile as he swallowed two of the paracetamol and chugged the water.

Nat took the glass and looked pointedly at Tony. "Now go the fuck to sleep before I make you."

"Ooo, I'm tempted by that threat, but unfortunately in order to sleep you need to get out and go to bed yourself so off you go, Cherry Bombshell, you need your beauty sleep." Tony made a shoo-ing motion with his hands, and threw himself back in the bed.

"Oh piss off," Nat grinned. Her smile softened. "Goodnight Tony."

He smiled back, just as softly. "Goodnight, Natasha."

She backed out the room, and closed the door with a tiny click. There were nine rooms between the two of them, and she counted as she walked to her own room. Her nightmare anxiety hadn't gone away, but she was more tired, less filled with adrenaline than she had been half an hour, forty-five minutes ago.

Sleep was worth another go.

---------------------------------

i very much hope you enjoyed! i love the tonynat dynamic, thank you so much for requesting!

#tony stark #natasha romanoff #tony imagine #natasha imagine #tonynat #siblings #best friends #tony x natasha #nat #tony #marvel #avengers #avengers compound

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erensonly · 3 years

Text

Cuddle Buddies (Bakugou x Black! Reader)

[series masterlist], [previous chapter], [next chapter]

Chapter 13: Mall Time

(song of the chapter)

(this is a slight filler bc i have no clue what to write about and i'm working on another one rn)

Today was the day Aizawa finally gave everyone permission to go and do what they wanted. The whole class decided to go to the mall in the group chat you all were in.

"Kacchan! Are you ready yet?"

"Stop calling me Kacchan. Give me a second." He was lacing up his shoes (no more church3000s)

Stepping into his room, you see him fixing the cuffs of his pants and walking to the mirror to make sure the fit was clean. He looked good, per usual. (my fashion sense is horrible, especially for boys so imagine what you want him to wear.)

"You look nice, Kacchan," you smiled up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Reaching up, you peck his lips lightly. "You ready to go now? Everyone is getting ready to be on their way."

"Yeah, let's go." He grabbed your hand, walking with you down the stairs. "You know what you wanna get?" he asked you.

"Of course not. I was thinking you could pick my outfits for me."

"Then you have to pick mine." You had a pretty good understanding of his style and how he picks his clothes. Picking his clothes should be pretty easy. The question was, 'Was he able to pick your clothes?'

(start song)

Walking outside to the parking lot, he opened and closed the door of his car for you and got in himself. You hear a knock on the window and you see Kiri and Denki standing there, smiling. "Hey, y'all!" you exclaim. Doing the made-up handshake the three of you made, they started greeting you and Katsuki.

Plugging your phone into his aux cord, you open spotify. Clicking 'OhMami' by Chase Atlantic, you teasingly start to sing to Katsuki.

Cuban link, diamond cross I got a spanish chiquita, no habla ingles, not at all, no

Katsuki by now had started driving, and he was already tired of the three of you. The condiments in the back and started to sing along as well.

And I got a kilo, no kilimanjaro, baby just a mountain of coke

Looking back aft the two boys in the backseat, nodding at them to make sure they got the message.

OHMAMI, THIS A NEW 'RARI

The three of you screamed the lyrics of the song playing. Katsuki was slowly shaking his head at the three of you, slightly grinning.

"C'mon Katsu,"you whined playfully, "Sing with us. I know you know the song."

"Yeah, Kacchan. Sing along,"said Denki.

"Tch..."

OHMAMI, I GOT BLUE MOLLY

The four of you sang loudly. Katsuki started to drive a little faster now, making you, Kiri, and Kami hold onto the little handle thingies on the roof of the car.

You all started giggling and laughing at how Denki got thrown at Kirishima when Bakugou did a sharp turn. Turning around you ask him, "Y'all okay back there?"

"Yeah," Kirishima said, fake crying. "Kinda hurt."

"Shut up, shitty hair. It didn't hurt that bad. Aren't you supposed to be a rock?"

"Damn, Bakugou. Why you going so hard on him," Denki laughed.

"Because I can. You next."

Slapping his arm, you tell him to stop messing with them.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Pulling up to the mall, you see everyone else outside, more than likely waiting for you four. "Hey bestie," you greet Midoriya.

"Hey friend." You turn and see Todoroki next to him. The two of you didn't speak much but when you did, it was usually either a dry 'Hi' or him saying something that he doesn't realize is funny.

"Hey friend," Todoroki said as enthusiastically as he could. You chuckled a little bit. This was new. He usually just said your name, but not today.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Of course not. You just surprised me. Hey Friend," you smiled at him.

"Baby, let's go. I wanna get your clothes." Entwining your hand with your significant other, you wave bye to the two friends and let yourself get dragged off.

Walking to (favorite store), you let him walk you to the shirts. "You want a crop top, tank top, cut off shoulder, regular tee-shirt, or what?"

"I don't know. You're supposed to be picking it out for me."

"You're no help," he grumbled.

"I know," you smiled. Walking away from him towards the accessories, you hold up earrings and necklaces to see which ones you wanted.

"Baby, I'm done. Don't pick the accessories for this outfit, I wanna do it."

You see him hold up accessories to the clothing to see which ones you would match.

"I'm paying, no arguments allowed."

"I wasn't gon argue anyway," you sassed back. "My turn. What store do you like?" Walking to (his favorite store idfk🤷🏾‍♀️), you immediately see a shirt that would look amazing on him.

"Don't look, nosey." He looked away, surprised you caught him trying to peek without looking at him. "Go look around and find something you like. I'm paying."

Walking around begrudgingly, he looks at the other shirts they have, some catching his eye and some making him question who made it.

When he looks up a second time, he sees you already at the counter. "Did you find something you like?"

"Yeah, I'm paying for it."

"No, I'm paying for it. We already agreed."

"No, I don't wanna owe you nothing."

"I don't care what you don't want. I'm paying. Hurry up, we still gotta get shoes."

Hesitantly putting his stuff on the counter, you pay for the things and drag him to the foot locker that wasn't too far from the store you were just at.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

By now, you both had picked everything and bought matching shoes. You were now in the food court trying to decide what to eat so you could meet with everyone else.

"Kacchan, I want pizza," you groan.

"Then get it. I don't want pizza."

"But I want you to order it for me."

"No."

"Fine, I'll get Midoriya to do it for me." Walking away from him to your best friend, you pay him on the shoulder and ask him can he order for you. (social anxiety go brr)

Making your way back to the table, you sit in between Midoriya and Katsuki. Todoroki was next to Midoriya making small talk with him.

You start to eat, but you feel someone staring at you. Looking up and around, you try to spot who can't keep their eyes in one direction. Then you see it. A girl with dark hair and eyes and is fairly curvy, not as curvy as you but you get it.

You see her gaze shift to Bakugou. The you got the message. You scoot closer to him, trying to politely give her the message he wasn't available. She just wasn't getting it.

Then she decided to get bold and start to walk towards the table everyone had pushed together. "Hey, I'm Meiko." She tried to scoot bin to sit next to Bakugou, but you were quick to scoot closer to him.

At this point he had no space to move his arms and he was confused why this random was talking to him. "Me?" he questioned, pointing to himself.

"Yeah, who else would I be talking to. No one else here is on your level."

"Ok... You need something?" He was just trying to eat and go back to his dorm with you to re-watch Haikyuu. (kenma is so fine man 😡😭)

"Yeah, your number." Who does this dry flirting ass girl think she is.

"He's not available."

"I didn't ask for you opinion," she rolled her eyes and turned back to Bakugou.

"But you're talking to my man. So Imma give to you politely before I have to beat your ass, Kay?"

"Why are you dating someone like... that when you could have me?" That's more than enough.

"I don't know or like you." He's trying to keep his composure since he's been working on his temper.

Standing up, you feel someone grab your wrist and someone else grab your hand. "I'll say it one more time if it didn't register in that small ass head of yours. He's not available, especially not to you. If I have to say it again, I'll be going to jail. Got it?"

She tried not to show she was intimidated by walking closer to you, getting in your personal bubble.

"Then do something about it." She threw, or tried to throw, a punch at you, but it didn't connect. Now you could say it was self defense (be smart kids👩🏾‍💻)

There was no time to waste. Connecting a punch with her face, you drag her on the floor to get the advantage, even though you already had it.

You didn't stop. Your brain had went into autopilot and your body just did what it wanted to do.

The next thing you know, there's people trying to pull you off. Multiple people. You couldn't hear anything, ears ringing from the anger you were feeling.

"Baby, let's go." He had finally grabbed you off, dragging you away from her. "Deku, grab our food and bring it back will ya."

There was still anger in your system, but you just let him carry you back to the car. Denki and Kirishima already arranging for them to ride with someone else.

"You ok?"

"Mhm." You turned your head and looked out the window as he was pulling out of the parking lot.

He grabbed your hand and stayed silent. You both were similar in the aspect of not wanting to talk when angry.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Arriving back to the dorms, you see Aizawa already sitting on the couch waiting for you. How does this man get information so fast?

"I heard what happened."

"It was self defense." You weren't even going to put up a big fight against him. You had a better chance arguing with a raccoon than with Aizawa.

"I don't care. You still did that in public. You're lucky people didn't take pictures and videos."

"Ok..." you said, waiting for him to get to the point.

"You're on cleaning duty by yourself for three days and you have to do extra training."

"So I we just supposed to let her hit me and flirt with my boyfriend in front of me?"

"That's not what I'm saying-"

"At this point, I don't care." Stalking off to your room, you sulk on your bed. Feeling Katsuki plop down on your bed, he pulls up netflix, playing Haikyuu.

"C'mere sweet thing." You both cuddled up, excited to rewatch the volleyball anime for the 3rd time.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

and that is a wrap. i haven't updated in forever don't bash me too much. i hope you enjoyed it and these outfits i envisioned bakugou picked out for you 🖤 (I chose different styles bc i know ppl have different tastes :))

#bnha #mha #mha fluff #mha bakugou #black reader #bakugou x black reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #kenmasblackwife

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ahockeywrites · 3 years

Text

Is that a drawing of me?

You sighed. Your professor set you an assignment to draw something that makes you smile. His suggestions included a pet, a sport or a loved one. Naturally, the first thing that came to your head was your boyfriend, the resident pest of Calgary, Matthew Tkachuk. The only problem you had, is that drawing faces was your weakness when it came to your artwork. It wasn’t that you couldn’t draw faces, if it was a life or death situation, yes, you could draw a face. However, when compared to your nature drawings, they were second best.

“So, are we gonna get a drawing of Mr Hockey hotshot this time?” your friend Anna asked. You looked at her with a look only she could read. Realistically, the answer should have easily been yes, but your worry of making him look bad was heightening your anxiety.

“It’s an idea, but you know how I was in our portraits module. How can I do the man I love justice when I can barely draw someone with straight hair,” you said as you slumped into the chair in the small coffee shop. “His curls will be the death of me.” Taking a small sip of your coffee, you noticed a text from the devil himself.

Matty: Hey baby, just wanted to let you know I’m back from practice now! Let me know what you want to do for dinner :) x

You: Urm… I’m good for anything? Something quick bc I’ve got college work to do x

Anna could tell that you were talking to Matt, solely by the way that your face lit up whenever you two spoke. ��But, who or what else would you draw? I mean, I’m planning on doing my family by the lake back home, if that helps?” Anna offered. You knew she was just trying to help, but you had to draw Matthew. You had skirted around it before but you had decided.

“I’m gonna draw him, but hopefully not too well,” you said, “I can’t inflate his ego any more. I think Brady and Taryn would want words with me.” The two of you giggled, knowing that anything that made him look too good in his eyes would just make his head grow 20 sizes.

“Yes my love!!” Anna exclaimed, “shall we stop by the art store before art history?”

“I think I’m gonna need to,” you explained, “I need some new canvases and a lot of red pencils if he’s gonna be in Calgary gear.”

The two of you left the coffee shop for the nearby warehouse full of art supplies. It was just off campus and offered a generous student discount to almost anyone. You wandered down by the canvases, trying to figure out which size would be right for your latest piece. Too small and the picture would look cramped, too large and the image could look out of proportion. Eventually, you settled on a relatively large one and by this time had picked up some very Calgary appropriate red and black pencils. You also spotted a scrapbook that looked perfect to start filling with photos of you and Matthew.

Scrapbooking was something you had always wanted to get into, but it never came up in your studies and you always thought that you should practice line art or painting. But with your second anniversary coming up, it was something you could do in your downtime to relax but also create something beautiful. All you had to do was get a few rolls of washi tape and some photo corners. Everything else, if you had forgotten it, could easily be ordered later.

2 hours and $150 later, you exited the store with Anna and headed to your final lecture of the day. Now, just because you enjoyed both art and history did not mean that you enjoyed the combination of the two. Especially when the professor decided that it would be fun to set a 2000 word essay on the Renaissance period. “I cannot wait for this day to be over,” Anna spoke aimlessly.

“Honestly, same, hopefully Matt has got some food ready for when I’m back,” you hoped, no, prayed to someone above that he had actually made something and hadn’t burnt down your apartment. “I’m gonna head off now, but text me updates of your portrait?” you asked Anna. She nodded and you started your short walk from campus to the apartment.

15 minutes later, you arrived home and tumbled through the door. The smell of something baked filled your nostrils. “Matty baby?” you called out, hoping he would hear you and give you a hand with all the supplies you had bought.

“Y/N!” he called, coming to the hallway. “Need a hand?” he asked, but the two of you knew it was rhetorical. You let out a small giggle and gave him two of the bags you had filled to the brim with scrapbooking items. Now, you could have hidden them from him, but it was likely that he wouldn’t even know what they were so you were safe. The two of you moved in sync to the office of the apartment which very quickly had become your own personal studio with an easel and multiple chests of drawers with the most random supplies in them.

“Just pop them down anywhere, I have a drawing I want to start tonight along with an essay,” you complained.

“Don’t you worry, I have wine and lasagne,” Matthew sang. You audibly groaned at the sound of food, all you wanted was a warm meal and to relax. At least you’d be able to get one of them tonight.

You two sat down at the island that graced the kitchen of the apartment. Matthew had set the table and even put a few candles out, “I thought you could do with an hour or so of doing nothing,” he spoke as he went to grab your hand. He rubbed soft circles over your knuckles as you picked up your wine glass with your other hand.

As you took your first bite of the lasagne, you sent your boyfriend a wink. Lasagne was one of the few things he could cook and not mess up and he knew that. “I am so glad that I have a small amount of time before I start my drawing tonight,” you explained.

“What are you drawing?” Matt asked as he lifted his wine glass to his lips.

“That is something I would rather not share just now, but you’ll find out later,” you winked. You were never particularly secretive when it came to your artwork so he was slightly confused but he went along with it. Maybe, he thought, it was going to be a gift for someone and you didn’t want him to spoil the surprise.

The two of you continued to chat over dinner, talking about practice and how boring your lectures were. The boy sitting across from you never failed to make you laugh and you knew that you couldn’t draw anyone else other than him. As he was talking, you allowed yourself to take in his features and you tried to think of the best way to draw them. “If you’re done staring, I’m gonna sort the dishes out,” Matt laughed. You hadn’t even realised you were looking so intently at him. “I know I’m beautiful,” he got out before you tried to tackle him to the ground, however, your strength was nothing compared to his.

“I think this means it’s time for me to go and get started with my assignment,” you giggled from underneath him. “Come grab me if I’m still working and should be asleep, yeah?” you asked. He nodded and let you head to the office.

Once seated in the office, you pulled out your laptop and google searched Matt’s name, hoping some good images of him came up. Or at least, some that you could try to emulate. You found one of him smiling and celebrating a goal and thought that would be perfect. It also meant that the majority of his curls were underneath a helmet so wouldn’t have to worry.

Grabbing the canvas you had specifically bought for this, you placed it on the easel. You began to sketch out the rough shape of a skater in the foreground. Then, you moved onto the face. You thought if you did the face early on, you could fix any mistakes with it once the rest of the image was done. Starting with the eyes, then the nose and mouth, this wasn’t going as badly as you thought it might have gone. But then, the dreaded curls were staring at you from underneath the helmet. Sighing, you knew that if you didn’t start them now, they would never be done and a bald Matthew was something you never wanted to see.

A knock on the office door startled you, “baby, it’s almost midnight. You have an 8am lecture tomorrow and don’t want you to be late,” Matt said in a soft voice.

“Yeah, just gimme a few minutes,” you replied. By this time you had moved onto the logo on his shirt and if anyone saw, it would be incredibly obvious who you were drawing. Curly hair, Calgary Flames player, number 19, with an A on his chest. You were so engrossed in the drawing, you hadn’t noticed Matthew open the door and walk to be behind you.

“Is that a drawing of me?” he asked. You jumped out of your skin and he had to put his hand on your shoulder to stable you. You meekly nodded and looked up to him. “It’s amazing,” he said as he took in the drawing. Suddenly, he put two and two together, “this is why you wouldn’t tell me what you were doing, eh?”

“Maybe,” you said softly, trying to hide yourself in his chest. “Didn’t want to inflate your ego anymore.”

“Baby, if every drawing you do of me is this good,” he said as he pressed his forehead to yours, “my family better make an entire room back in St. Louis for my ego.” You slowly pressed your lips to his as a sign of appreciation.

“I take it you like it then?”

“Like is the wrong word, I love it. I also can’t wait to send a picture of this to the family group chat to get their thoughts,” he laughed.

“Well, as long as your mom doesn’t want me to do another one, I think I’ll be okay,” you said as you kissed him again.

#ahockeywrites #Matthew Tkachuk #flames19 #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

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lilbabycee · 4 years

Text

tatiana // steve rogers 🌸

↳ summary: you've made a series of mistakes concerning steve and you're not going to stop now, although these mistakes may leave you in some unprecedented circumstances.

↳ relationship: soft dark!steve rogers x reader

↳ word count: 5.4k (i got carried away with this one)

↳ warnings: explicit smut, mildly dubious consent, emotional manipulation, cockwarming, dad!steve

↳ author’s note: some more soft dark steve bc we all need it 🤤 this may be one of my favorite steve fics i’ve ever written, so please enjoy! 💖

The white doves that tell the tales residing inside the heavy book that weighs down your lap flutter downwards, blowing little wisps of air onto your skin as your fingers slacken and the cover of the hardback hits the pages with a soft thud. Perched on the edge of the too-big queen-sized bed with the too-soft mattress, you take a second to breathe deeply, cherishing these moments of peace because these breaths haven’t come easy to you recently. Your head falls into one of your hands, your bones as exhausted as your mind. You have to remember that it’s ten in, hold for five, and ten out just like he taught you, but the thought escapes you as your lungs struggle to intake air in anything but huge, gasping breaths. It feels like someone is sitting on your chest, a weight so heavy having settled where your heart should be, dragging your body further to the ground than gravity.

But you’re unable to help the sincere albeit shaky smile on your face when you admire her, your breathing starting to even out until it’s shallow and steady. Round cheeks squished against the pillow, one of her chubby little hands gripping your sleeve and the other tucked underneath her head, she’s a vision - truly a beacon of light in what is otherwise a neverending spiral into darkness. Carefully and with all of the finesse that your shaking hands can muster, you pry her fingers off of your sleeve one by one, although you know that the chances of her waking up are slim. You love telling her that she can sleep through an earthquake or a hurricane because it always - without fail - elicits that same sweet little giggle from the sleeping girl in front of you and a whiny “Mama!” , her beaming smile enough to warm your heart for the rest of your life.

Tatiana’s long eyelashes - all too reminiscent of her daddy’s - fan against her face while she dozes, her mouth wide open and her soft snores the only sound in the room. Her closed eyes shield you from the most disarming baby blues that never let you forget exactly who her father is, and the thought alone makes the blood pumping your heart run cold, an involuntarily shudder passing through you at the feeling.

He’s just over in the next room and you know it - the apartment is almost entirely silent but you know. He’s waiting, expecting you, knowing that you’ll come to see him at the end of the night. Tatiana’s enthusiasm and your insistence upon reading her to sleep hopefully went unnoticed by him - being alone in a room with him always makes your skin crawl and your heart beat erratically but you know that he can smell the arousal that pools between your thighs regardless of the attitude that you give him on the surface.

Not wanting him to come and look for you, you decide that you’ve spent enough time in this massive bedroom - a converted guest room - that’s far too large for a 3-and-a-half-year-old. You lean down over your baby, hand coming up to brush a thumb over her cheek and then run a hand through over the top of her head, pushing the stray baby hairs out of her face. You make sure to place the book on her nightstand so that you don’t have a fiasco like the last time that you couldn’t find it. It ended up underneath the couch and your daughter was in a mood for the whole day, pouting and sulking when her father told her that he couldn’t find it. It was a gift that was given to you by her favorite uncle, Tony, when she was born: Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Tony considers it essential in developing her love for reading and stories at an early age, and you didn’t argue, the gift so sweet and thoughtful that you make sure to read at least a little to her every night. Making sure to turn her nightlight on, you rise and head to the door, looking back over your shoulder one more time to see her cocooned in her blanket and being swallowed by her mattress. The image alone makes a chuckle rise in your throat and you shake your head before flipping the light switch and closing the door.

Your back is pressed against the hard lines of Tatiana’s door, and your gaze falls on the one at the end of the hallway. It’s been left ajar, almost as if he’s inviting you inside. You know that you shouldn’t - common sense is telling you that you should steer clear of that room for the sole reason that you know exactly what or rather who lays in their bed behind it. Before you even realize what’s happening, a deep baritone is summoning you to, “Come in”.

Silently, you curse yourself, aware that it’s too late to take back any chance of escape that you may have had prior to this, but you press your palm against the white wood of the door so that it slowly slides open. The sight that greets you makes you want to claw at your skin as much as you want to claw at his. The idea of vertical red lines scratched down his back makes you bite your lip and really assess the gorgeous man stretched out in front of you.

At a closer listen, you’re aware that he’s actually been playing music, soft jazz melodies floating through the air that ease your anxiety just a little. His bed is directly across from the door and obnoxiously large and comfortable - it used to be covered in pillows and have a softer mattress and extra blankets, but that was before you moved out. Now, the pillows are somewhere in a closet, as are the blankets, and the mattress is significantly harder than it used to be, although not uncomfortable. But the bed isn’t what’s making your mouth water and a fire ignite in your stomach. It’s the man atop it.

He’s stretched out like some kind of god - picture Dionysus - with the bone structure and physique of Adonis, and you think that if the heavens opened up right now and took him back you wouldn’t bat a single eyelash. The only sources of light in the room are the twin lamps that emanate a bright, white light. The light catches all of the planes and angles of his face, the shadows and highlights alike showing you all of his best features. And he’s absolutely the picture of relaxation, back leaning against the headboard, right hand behind his head and the left holding a book.

He’s only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt that’s slightly rucked up to show the line of abdominal hair that leads down to what you really want, but he may as well have been wearing nothing because you wouldn’t be able to tear your eyes off of this man if you tried. And even from the few meters that separate the two of you, you can feel the intensity of his blue gaze behind his glasses - it always feels like he’s stripping you slowly, carefully, methodically in his mind. Not only is it disconcerting but it makes you feel things that you can only associate with uncomfortable desire. His eyebrow quirks up and the hand that was behind his head slowly slides his glasses down the bridge of his perfect nose until they drop to his side. His lips quirk up into a smug little smirk that you simultaneously want to punch and kiss off his face.

“Hey,” he says your name like a prayer, lips wrapping around the sound and it draws you into the room - you’re almost floating towards him.

You swallow, willing yourself to say something instead of just standing there, staring at him like an idiot. Relaxing your stance, one of your hands finds your hip and the other runs over your hair that you’re sure is a mess from playing with your daughter earlier.

“Hi,” you reply quietly, almost a whisper. He mirrors you, running a hand through his golden hair and then over his clean-shaven jaw - Tatiana prefers it that way.

“She asleep?”

You nod, finding yourself on the edge of his bed as he puts his book face down next to him. Inhaling deeply, he runs his large hands over his powerful thighs and even that small motion has you distracted and you squeeze your own thighs together, shaking your head disapprovingly at yourself. Absent-mindedly, your hand comes up to toy with the pendant of the simple necklace that you always wear, and you watch Steve’s eyes as they follow your movements. They zero in on your exposed décolletage and darken, his tongue running over his plush pink lower lip again. Pulling his phone from underneath his pillow, he makes a point of checking it before glancing back up at you.

“What?”

“You checked the time, sweetheart?”

At the shake of your head, he flips his phone around to show you that it’s four minutes past midnight.

“Shit, are you kidding me?” you groan almost childishly, rising hastily and making your way towards the door. “I’ve got work tomorrow - I wasn’t supposed to stay this late.”

“Hey, hey,” Steve quickly moves to stand up and placate you, rounding the bed to come and stand in front of you with his hands out. “It’s not your fault - Tati was excited to see you, you can’t blame her… or yourself for that matter. She’s been asking about you for weeks now, talkin’ everybody’s ear off about it. She doesn’t get to see us all the time, you know that-”

You know it all too well. Frankly, you’re proud of your success - there’s no reason that you shouldn’t be. You were lucky enough to land a key internship at Stark Industries as a college student that really gave you a leg up in a lot of your future professional life. You were already set to inherit what is now your publishing company from your father, but you were unsure about whether or not that was something that you wanted to devote your life to. Sooner rather than later, something clicked for you and that was when you decided to pick up your father’s life’s work, reassuring him that it would be left in capable hands so that he could eventually retire peacefully. Not that he doesn’t still hover because he does, giving you advice whether you want it or not and making final decisions in places where you’re torn. Initially, there was a lot of discontent within the company concerning your father’s replacement: he is something of a legend in the publishing world and even you were terrified that you wouldn’t be able to live up to their expectations. You had to prove that you deserved to have the CEO position that your father appointed you to, show people and yourself, more importantly, that you were worth being there as much as any other employee. It took some years, but you love your job, so much so in fact that your mother - a former dentist - is often concerned that you’re working yourself to an early grave.

Unfortunately, this leaves little time for you to spend with your family, especially your daughter. Your job requires an exorbitant amount of international travel, meaning that your house barely looks like a home because most weeks, it’s empty.

Sighing, the thought in itself makes a grey cloud hang over your head to shroud you in despondency. Steve notices and the corners of his lips turn downwards as he boldly approaches you and gently grabs your upper arms. His touch in itself makes you soften and he dips his head to try and catch your eyes. When he does, he gives you a crooked, boyish smile that makes the crease in your eyebrows disappear and your lips curve into a shy grin.

“I know it’s part of your job,” Steve’s voice drops even further, hands rubbing up and down your arms, thumbs stroking the cotton of your shirt. “But she misses you… why don’t you just stay over?”

This makes you freeze in place and try and free yourself from his grip, but he only tightens it, that same compassionate look in his eyes.

“Baby,” before you can reprimand him for using the pet name, he anticipates your next words and shushes you so that he can continue, “I bet Tati would love to see you when she wakes up tomorrow morning. Imagine the look on her face - she’d be overjoyed. Just think about it.”

You know what he’s doing and still attempt to wrestle free, but his hold on you is solid though it doesn’t tighten any further.

“Steve,” you sigh in what sounds like defeat and you can see the spark of hope ignite in his eyes. “You know why I have to get home. I’ll come back tomorrow - I’ve got the whole week here before I head out again-”

“But then what?” he says your name pleadingly, though his tone sounds almost accusatory. “I could be gone on a mission at any time and then some of the team has to take care of her - or your parents, or your sister, or your brother. Look, I try to be here as much as I can but I’m not planning to hang up the shield for a few more years-”

“And I’m not expecting you to, I never said I was, Steve,” you fire back, taking a step towards him with your arms still pinned by your sides. “I get that your missions are unpredictable and unexpected - you can’t help that - but there’s no way that I can lose these clients overseas, especially since I basically just got this position-”

“So you’re saying that you’re prioritizing your job over our daughter?” his voice rises slightly, but his eyes don’t harden at all.

“That’s- are you kidding me? That’s not at all what I’m saying. I want to provide financial stability that’s enough for the rest of her life and with both of us working, she’ll have more than enough for her and her kids and probably her kids’ kids. God, why would you even -”

“You know what she told me yesterday?”

This makes the fire within you die down just a little, your heart skipping a beat when you register the intensity of his gaze and the gravity of his words. You swallow, hands starting to clam up and lips starting to quiver. He knew what reaction this would give you, effectively shutting you up.

“Wh-what- I mean, you know...what did she say?”

Steve suddenly looks away from you, releasing your arms and pacing, turning his back to you. Letting out a distressed sigh, he shoves his hands deep into his mop of blonde hair, planting himself on the edge of the bed and shaking his head.

“I shouldn’t have said anything- I’m sorry, it’s not my place-”

His voice is quiet but also muffled by his hands, but now he’s piqued your curiosity so you can’t just let this go - especially because it concerns the single most important person in your life. Without thinking, you rush over, getting on your knees before him, right in between his open legs. Tentatively, your hands land on his knees and your thumbs trace small circles where they lay.

“Steve,” you call out softly. Nothing happens for a moment - he remains silent and the jazz song is underscored by his ragged breathing. The feeling of nervousness that already set in your stomach drops further and further, blood running like fire once again through your veins. When he finally does look up at you, he looks torn, like a lost golden retriever. He knows very well what that look does to you and you’re more than aware of it yourself, yet you find that you are unable to look away from those eyes that mirror those of your daughter so perfectly.

He says your name quietly, his significantly larger hand covering one of yours that rest on his knee. Though you hate to admit it to yourself, it makes the suspense of the situation so much more bearable.

“It’s just,” Steve hesitates, unable to maintain eye contact with you and sitting up from his hunched position, “she asked me why you were never here…”

Your heart sinks, another lump stuck in your throat.

“And you said…?”

“A-All I did was tell her the truth,” he shrugs, exhaling another shaky breath before looking at you with glassy eyes, “I told her that you’re really busy with work all the time, but every time you’re not at work, you’re trying your best to spend all your time with her.”

Steeling yourself not to cry, you look away from his face and lower your gaze to stare at the carpet.

Ten in, hold for five, ten out.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say lightheartedly, knowing full-well that there’s more to it. Steve manages a chuckle, but it sounds forced so you decide to shut up and listen.

“But then she said that it was okay because she has Nat instead.”

There it was.

You’ve always known that your daughter has been brutally honest - as all children often are - but this is a pain unlike anything that you’ve felt before. Your fingers come up to your chest to clutch at your breast, dying to massage away the aching of your heart. Hot trails of fire spill onto your cheeks and the moment that Steve registers them, he takes advantage of your position on the floor and tucks his hands underneath your arms to drag you up to sit on his lap like a doll.

You’re curled up on top of your ex-fiancé’s thighs, his hand pressing the side of your head into his hard but surprisingly comfortable shoulder, and you’re sobbing your fucking eyes out at the harsh but very real words of your three-and-a-half-year-old daughter. Steve says your name comfortingly and wraps his arms tightly around your body, rocking you back and forth while he shushes you and whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

It definitely hurts to hear: the hectic, distant, fast-paced and frankly insane life that you’ve been trying to convince yourself isn’t your reality is indeed the truth and even your daughter can recognize that. You’re ashamed of yourself, Steve’s kind words only making you feel so much worse.

Between sobs, you attempt to explain yourself but Steve just keeps quieting you, rubbing circles into your back. All he says is ten in, hold for five, ten out.

Once you’ve calmed down a little, you realize the vulnerable spot that you’re in - one you shouldn’t be in. You squirm in his arms like you’re about to get up but once again, he holds you firmly in place.

“I need to head out, Steve- I’ve gotta get some time alone to think about-”

“Or,” he draws out the word, voice having hardened significantly, “you could stay here and when our daughter comes to wake me up in the morning, she’ll find you here too.”

Jerking your head back, you’re genuinely shocked at his audacity.

“Steve, let’s get this straight,” you start, feeling much more confident and calm than before, “if I’m staying here, we are absolutely not sleeping in the same room. We’re not having a repeat of what happened the last time-”

“And what was so bad about the last time, hmm, sweetheart?”

He runs his index finger over your jawline, dragging it down the length of your neck and down to your exposed collarbones.

“If I do recall,” his voice is much quieter but also deeper, “you thoroughly enjoyed what we did the last time.”

His one arm keeps you anchored to him, the other moving from your chest to cup behind your neck and pull you to meet his lips.

“Steve-”

Your protests die in your throat as you feel his soft lips on you, your eyes fluttering shut as he starts to press wet, open-mouthed kisses on your throat. He works his way up to underneath your ear, biting in places that you know you should be worried about him marking before he nips at your earlobe with his perfect teeth and traces the outer shell of your ear with his tongue. It makes you whimper softly, the sound making your eyes shoot open and snapping you out of whatever trance he’s put you in, your spine going rigid.

“We’re not doing this,” you say firmly, placing your hands flat on his chest and pushing backward. He looks resigned but nods, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head instead.

“Fine, but I still insist that you stay here,” he presses. “Not for me, but for Tatiana - think of her. She’ll love it.”

Biting your lip, you consider it for a moment before sucking your teeth and staring heavenwards.

What’s the worst that could happen? And if it’s just so that Tatiana can see you with her in the morning, it’s more than worth having to deal with Steve for a night.

“Okay, fine- fine. You’re gonna need to let me borrow some clothes. If I’d known that this was the plan, I would’ve packed more appropriately.”

Steve’s self-satisfied smirk irks you and he shifts you off of his lap, standing up so that he can disappear inside his walk-in to search for something for you to wear. You can’t help but notice that as he’s walking, he has to adjust the crotch of his sweatpants which aren’t really hiding anything. You clear your throat and look away, the heat that previously ran throughout your body all settles in your core.

Something that smells suspiciously like Steve - soap, pine, lavender and something citrusy - smacks you in the face, making you scowl when the clothing falls to reveal a grinning Steve who looks very pleased with himself leaning against the closet door.

“C’mon,” he gestures to you with one hand, the other shoved in his pocket. “I’d love to get some sleep, so get changed.”

He turns on his heel and heads to another door on the other side of the room, walking inside as he yells, “And make sure to let people know that you aren’t gonna be in tomorrow. We’ve got plans, doll.”

Plans?

The door clicks behind him, and you heave a deep sigh, wanting to fall through the bed. Quickly, you disrobe, folding your clothes and placing them onto one of the armchairs in the corner of his room next to the record player. Looking at what he brought you, you shake your head in incredulity.

This cheeky motherfucker.

He’s only brought you a t-shirt - a white one with the Captain America insignia on the back, the same one that you bought for him as a joke on the first birthday of his that you spent together. You purposely made sure that it was loose enough for you to wear to bed by itself too because he wears all of his t-shirts in a size too small - not that you’d ever complain - and you hated grabbing one of his shirts, putting it on, and finding that it fit you just like one of your own.

You pull it over your head and look back to the empty space on the bed.

No shorts either.

You scold yourself because you should’ve known that he’d pull something like this. But he’s promised that things won’t go to levels that you’re not comfortable with, so you just sleeping in your panties and this t-shirt should be fine.

Maybe?

Entering the bathroom, Steve hands you the toothbrush that he keeps here for you, his own buzzing in his mouth, and you thank him silently with your eyes as you take it from him. Your eyes travel up his body, narrowing because he’s taken off his shirt and his sweatpants, and he is only wearing a pair of grey Calvins, distracting you and making even more moisture pool between your thighs. Steve evidently notices your not-so-subtle staring and tries to hide his smile under the guise of brushing with renewed vigor.

Get a hold of yourself.

The two of you finish up in the bathroom, Steve walking behind you and burning holes into your bare thighs. He turns off both of the lights on either side of his bed as you crawl underneath the heavy comforter, curling in on yourself. You turn away from him, hoping that it indicates that you’re not up for talking and just want to sleep. He moves around a little bit before getting in with you, and suddenly your space is crowded by pillows?

He remembered.

It makes the butterflies in your belly that have been dormant for a long time start to wake up.

Rearranging the pillows in the fashion that you like, you try and put today’s events behind you and make a silent vow to yourself that you will do better, you will try harder to become a better and more present mother to your daughter.

In fact, you’re so absorbed in your thoughts that sleep begins to pull you into its clutches, your eyes drooping lower and lower until your breathing evens out and you’re just on the cusp of it when a strong, hard body molds itself against your back. Any semblance of sleep that you felt just moments ago slips away, your eyes widening.

“What are you doing -”

His hand clamps around your mouth, promptly cutting you off before his other warm hand runs down your front, down your t-shirt before creeping underneath, all while leaving a trail of fire in his wake. You’re thrashing now, knowing that your efforts will be futile because as much as you can tell yourself you don’t want this, it’s everything that you’ve ever wanted.

It was a mistake like this that gave you the best thing to ever happen to you.

His lips touch your ear at the same time his hand flicks your peaked nipple, making you buck your hips back into him. “Oh, sweetheart, look at you.”

He gropes at your breast for another few seconds, his gentle yet firm grip doing nothing to ease the desire that you have for him. A sharp pinch to your nipple sends a lightning bolt right to your cunt. It then moves even further downwards, past down your belly button, hovering over where you need him the most.

“So needy, aren’t you, baby?”

He slips the fingertip of his index finger underneath the band of the lace, snapping it so that you gasp against his hand.

“I’ve been able to smell you all night,” he buries his face in your neck, inhaling deeply and the groan from deep within his chest vibrates against your back. Arching your back into him, he uses both of his hands to push your hips into his, hooking his thumbs over the band of your panties and sliding the rest of his fingers underneath. “You wet for me, sweetheart?”

You can do nothing but nod - this is a mistake but you wish that every mistake that you ever made felt this good.

“Good girl,” you can hear his grin while he removes his hands and his index finger slides against your covered core. “This all for me?”

You nod again and he moans loud , louder than the sounds of your desperate panting. The jazz record continues to spin on the needle.

Slowly, he runs a finger up and down your folds, feeling the slick that has dampened your panties. He thrusts up into your ass in response, wasting no more time.

“Please-”

You choke out the word, needing him to extinguish the flames that he’s ignited inside of you.

“It’s okay, doll - I got you.”

And he does, yanking down his underwear over his cock and wrapping his hand around the base. In your eagerness, you shove your own panties down your hips, causing Steve to rumble a laugh and click his tongue at you.

“Baby,” he exhales, evidently amused at your whiny demeanor. “Did you really think you could trick me? Comin’ in here, all shy and nervous but still tempting me… knowing exactly what you’re doin’, hmm? You wanna be a family again, sweetheart?”

With this, he guides the head of his dick to your entrance, rubbing up and down the sensitive skin, taking his time. And in all the time that you’ve known him, Steve is not the type to be patient.

“All you had to do was ask.”

And then he slams into you - really and truly because you jerk forward at his powerful thrust, eyes watering at the sensation. He’s so big that the stretch precariously toes the line between pain and pleasure but just falls on the side of being enjoyable. The sound of skin slapping sin is lewd and filthy and you love it.

Steve’s deft fingers quickly find your clit and press down, rubbing circles into the small nub. Coupled with Steve’s labored breathing and moans in your ear, it doesn’t take you long to be right on the edge of your peak.

“I can feel you, doll,” he whispers, teeth grazing your ear once again. “You gonna cum for me, make a mess all over my dick?”

You nod frantically, unable to speak, eyes squeezed shut.

“No, no, no, baby,” he breathes. “Look at me while I make you cum - I want you to know who’s making you feel this good. Tell me who’s about to make you cum, baby.”

Opening your eyes, he flips you around so that you’re facing him, throwing one of your legs over his and he does it all without ceasing his motions. Your body warms in embarrassment, however because you’re chasing your release, you swallow any pride that you may have and give him what he wants.

“You are-”

An exceptionally hard thrust makes you squeal and Steve grunts in disappointment. He’s got one arm encircled around your waist, the other gripping your throat bruisingly tight.

“I didn’t fucking hear you, sweetheart.”

“You are,” you try a bit louder, your ability to form coherent sentences significantly impaired.

“What was that, doll?”

“You are,” you yell emphatically, the pressure being applied to your clit temporarily pushing the words out of your mouth in exactly the way you know he likes it.

He bounces you on his cock, pulling you into a heated kiss before drastically increasing his speed, every thrust upwards poking at your g-spot.

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he licks a stripe up your throat and your hands scramble to find purchase on his slick skin. Your nails dig into his back, painting those thin crimson lines he likes so much. “Just like that.”

A strangled moan crawls out of your throat but he shushes you, squeezing your neck tighter.

“I know, I know,” he soothes. “Cum for me, doll.”

And so you do - your thighs quiver and your lips part wide in a silent scream, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your muscles contract around Steve’s dick which sets off his own orgasm but almost stubbornly, he keeps his eyes on your blissed-out face while he spills his own release into you.

Once the two of you come down from your high, your heart racing and your breath erratic, Steve’s tight embrace does nothing to quell your growing anxiety at what the fuck you’ve just done - again.

“Should keep you like this forever,” Steve pulls you into the heated skin of his chest and buries his face into the space between your shoulder and your neck. His cock is still buried inside of you. “Fucked full of my cock for the rest of your life. I bet you’d like that, baby.”

His words make tears spring to your eyes - guilt - and you can’t even give him a response, so all he does is exhale deeply, kissing the top of your head and settling into the sea of pillows around you.

“Night, sweetheart.”

And then he promptly falls asleep, no more words exchanged between the two of you. Truly you can do nothing more but wrap your arms around his neck, the weight of him inside you making it difficult for you to get comfortable, and try to get some rest. The jazz record slowly starts to come to a close.

The moonlight shines through the slits of Steve’s blinds, depicting white horizontal lines across his back. It makes him look like art, you think, running your hands slowly up and down his bare skin. As you do, the light catches on the ostentatious rock on your ring finger.

↳ tagged: @literaturefeen

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rudypankwow · 4 years

Text

climb through my window (pt. 2) | jj maybank

not my gif! (i think it was posted by ssjiara)

warnings: s l o w b u r n, briefly talks about violence and abuse (bc it’s jj and his dad’s a meanie)

word count: 2.7k

masterlist, pt 1, pt 3

a/n: i know the beginning is also a little slow, but pls stick with me bc after this it’s gonna be so good! jj comes in at the end, and from this point on he’ll be the main focus of every part. but i had to set up the story :) also big thanks to kay bc i complained about this nonstop for the last few days sorry kay ly

Yelling was something you had become well acquainted with in the last year and a half. It was your sister’s fault. She didn’t stick to the plan.

“She was always supposed to go to Yale and she’s still going to Yale!” your mom shouted, her hands practically slamming on the table. “That was always the deal,” she continued, ignoring your sigh and tense jaw, “you got Meg and I got (y/n).”

You had moved on from the, “Isn’t it my decision?” argument long ago, instead choosing silence as your parents battled it out. When your sister, Meg, had decided to forgo college and instead spend some time traveling (she had secretly saved every penny she received from presents, allowances, paychecks, etc), your parents had moved on to you. Your mother had attended Yale and your dad Dartmouth, and the plan was always that Meg would go to Dartmouth and you’d go to Yale. It was a whole legacy student ordeal. It didn’t matter anyway, because your sister had ruined it. You were only a junior, and the school year was still a week away from starting, this was your reality for the time being.

“Well I think she’d like Dartmouth more, anyway,” your dad said. He didn’t even look up from his plate. “New Hampshire has way more to offer than Connecticut.”

Your mom on the other hand, was red in the face. Her arms were flailing, pointing her fork at you and your dad. “You’ve hardly even been to Connecticut, how in the hell would you know?”

“I just know it is, who goes to Connecticut for fun?” your dad continued. “New Hampshire has way more to-”

“You know what?” you cut them off. They both turn to look at you. Every time they get into these arguments, they wait for your input, for a final “I’m going here,” but it’s not coming today. Instead, you say, “I’m leaving.” You stand up from the table, pushing in your chair, making sure it angrily scrapes against the floor. “Feel free to keep arguing on my behalf, though.”

Your favorite spot in town was a 20 minute bike ride from your house. There was a little hill you could climb up, and when you reached the top it was a beautiful view of the ocean. You sometimes brought a book and read, and other times you just laid down and enjoyed the sun. Either way, that’s where you were going.

You decided to take a different way there this time, it was a little longer but it was so nice out you didn’t mind. As you turned the corner to ride past the police station, you saw the back of a blonde head that looked a lot like JJ walking out with another man. Your heart immediately dropped, too worried about why he was walking out of the police station to be disappointed in yourself for knowing him by the back of his head.

You were still some distance away when they got into the car. Despite no longer being able to see JJ, you kept your eyes on the movement in the car. As you started to get closer, you noticed the movement you could see get more violent, causing the car to shake. You finally become parallel with the car, staying on the opposite side of the road. You were nervous to stop, scared of what you might see, but you knew you had to.

JJ was pressed against the passenger door, his hands covering his face. The man in the car, which you could only assume was his dad, was hovering over him. You could probably hear his yelling if your ears weren’t ringing. You knew what was coming next, and you tried to will it not to happen, tried to focus all the energy into the universe to make what was going to happen not happen.

His hand collided with JJ’s face anyway. Over and over again. And you couldn't look away, couldn’t stop the tears that started to form, couldn’t believe the universe for being so unfair. The police station was right there, it would be so easy to run in and get help, but you were completely frozen in your spot.

His dad settled back into his seat and you saw JJ touch his face, attempting to clean the cuts but only producing bloody hands. The car engine started, and quickly peeled away, leaving you stuck to the pavement. You stared as they turned at the end of the road and reached up to wipe the few tears that you didn’t realize had fallen.

Once your breathing finally evened out and your heart stopped pounding out of your chest, you pushed your feet off the ground and started pedaling your bike. You had forgotten where you were supposed to be going, instead just seeing where your feet took you.

You hadn’t planned on making your way to the Wreck, but before you knew it that’s what happened. You debated going in for a few minutes. You weren’t sure you wanted to explain what you just saw to Kie, though you were sure she knew. You could just not tell her, but your anxiety was without a doubt written on your face. You probably should tell her, or anyone for that matter. But on the other, was it yours to tell?

You were still standing over your bike outside the restaurant when the front door opened. “(y/n)?” Kie’s dad called, garbage bag in hand. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Why are you just standing there? Come in!”

It snapped you out of your trance, and you nodded, stepping off the bike and walking it over to the rack. It was way less crowded than the last time you were there, especially for a Saturday. “Oh, hey, (y/n),” Kie says.

“Hey, Kie,” you said. You smile, trying to put on happy face for your friend.

“Are you hungry?” she asks. “I can make you something if you want.”

“No,” you say. You’re pretty sure any food you tried to eat right now would just come straight back up. “I was just passing by,” you continue. “Your dad invited me in and I didn’t want to upset him.”

“Oh,” she says. She stares at you for a second. “Are you okay?” You look down at the counter. “You look like you don’t feel well.”

“Yeah, I just uh-” you try to fake a laugh, “I just have a headache.”

She seems to buy it. “Well let me grab you some water and then you should head home and get some rest,” she says, raising her eyebrows at you. You give her a nod and she takes a few steps behind the counter. She hands you the bottle and takes a sip.

Before your common sense can stop you, you say, “Hey, I saw JJ mowing the Copelands’ lawn the other day and noticed he had some bruises. I don’t know if there’s any reason to worry but,” you pause, unsure of how to finish, “uh, I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to make sure he was okay?” You immediately wish you could suck the words back out of the air and take them back.

But Kie just shrugs, giving a little chuckle. “Honestly, (y/n), who knows? It’s JJ.” You smile and nod, looking back down at the counter. “Look,” she continues, “if it ever seems like he’s in trouble just let me know. But he’s usually got it figured it out.”

“Yeah,” you say quickly. “I’m honestly not even sure why I asked. Something about it just made me nervous, I guess.”

She smiles. “That’s sweet of you, really,” she pats your shoulder. “But I wouldn’t let it worry you too much, okay?”

You nod, suddenly desperate to get out of there. “I’m gonna go,” you say. “Thanks for the water.” It seems awkward, but you’re not sure what else to say.

“Let me know when you’re feeling better,” she calls as the door shuts behind you.

You lean against the side of the building once out of sight, once again trying to calm yourself down. You take a sip of the water and click on your phone to check the time. It had only been an hour since you left home, but it felt like it had been at least five.

Unsure of what else to do, you get on your bike and start back home, stopping at the library on the way to pick up a book. Halfway through your ride, the sky seemed to open up, big drops of rain soaking you through to the bone.

When you were little, your mom used to say that it only rained when people wanted things to be washed away.

It only seemed fitting.

-------

JJ hadn’t come by to mow that Friday. It was Sunday now, and all you’d done was think about him and what you saw the day before.

School was starting in a week, and despite the fact that you almost liked school, the thought of being forced to see all the other kooks every day was enough to ruin the idea. And since junior year meant college planning, you knew tensions would be high.

Needless to say, you were dreading it.

But today, it was gorgeous outside. So, before your parents could even try to bother you, and before you spent another minute staring at the ceiling in your bedroom, you grabbed your headphones and your book and headed out to your back deck. You had made a deal with your parents long ago that any arguing had to stay in the house, so you knew you were safe outside.

No matter how hard you tried to focus on your book, your mind couldn’t stop wandering. After twenty minutes, you basically give up, dropping your book in your lap with a huff. You close your eyes and lean your head back against your chair, sighing. The sun is as burning you skin, but it’s lnice to feel something other than anxious.

Your heart just about skips a beat when you hear a lawn mower start. Your eyes open immediately and you swallow hard. Sitting up slightly, you turn your head to look at the house next door.

And, of course, there he is, two days late, mowing the lawn. Part of you hoped that you’d be able to avoid seeing him for the rest of the week after what you saw yesterday.

You’re trying your hardest to not stare, you don’t want him to catch you again, but you need to see his face. He’s actually wearing a shirt this time, which is a bad sign. You can’t remember the last time he wore a shirt while mowing in the summertime. You can’t quite see his face yet, so you turn around and pretend to read your book, waiting for the sound of the mower to get closer. When it does, you try to peek over. He’s still a bit too far away, but you think you can see a dark spot on the side of his temple. It makes your stomach turn.

You did have one thought in the back of your mind, but it was borderline crazy, nevermind how it would make you look. You had been mulling it over for the past few days, but always dismissed it immediately. Seeing him here, however, a dark bruise on his face and likely countless others across his chest, made that horrible idea seem not so horrible.

Your feet were moving before you knew it, before you could stop them.. You always felt like there was a magnet drawing you into him, but up until now you’d tried your hardest to act against it.

“JJ!” you called. Your palms were starting to sweat. In all honesty, you had no idea what you were doing, but for some reason you were still doing it.

He turns around, shutting off the lawn mower when he sees you standing there. “Oh, hi,” he says, thinking for a minute. “(y/n), right? You’re friends with Kie?” You nod. He thinks for another minute and smiles. “You’re that girl I always catch staring at me?” The smirk on his face tells you everything you needed to know. You knew he had noticed a few times, but had no clue he’d picked up on a pattern.

Your eyes go wide and you shake your head. “Uh, no,” you try to be casual, “I don’t think I know what you’re talking about.” He could probably hear your pulse from where he was standing.

“No,” he continues, nodding, “you almost crashed your car into your garage the other day because you were staring at me.” His hands are crossed against his chest and he’s smiling wildly.

“No,” you say say again. “No, I was just,” you can’t come up with anything good, “looking at the Copeland’s dog. It had gotten out,” you finish, knowing the Copeland’s have never had a dog, not for as long as you’d lived next to them.

He clearly knew this too, because he answers, “The Copeland’s doing have a dog, (y/n).”

“Okay, well, that’s beside the point,” you say, shaking your head again and waving your hands. His eyes are wide when you look back up at him, and you sigh, seriously regretting whatever it was you were doing. “Look,” you continue, “I came over here because I wanted to tell you,” you pause, your hands are shaking. You take a deep breath. “I saw you. The other day. Outside the police station. With your dad.” You can’t say the whole thing at once, cause you think the weight of the words might poison all the air around you. “At least I thought it was your dad, anyway,” you say, looking down at your feet.

“Look,” he says, taking a step forward, “please don’t-”

“Wait,” you interrupt, because you think if you don’t finish you might never get out the words, “just let me finish, please?” You look at him and he nods. You exhale, still not believing the words you were about to say. “If you ever need somewhere to crash, for whatever reason, my window is the last one to the left on the back side of the house. It’s easy to climb in. I’ve done it a few times before.” He looks completely thrown off. “I just know how Kie’s dad is, and I know how Mr. Heyward can sometimes be a pain, and after what happened to John B-” you falter. “I just figured you might need somewhere to stay from time to time,” you explain. “I have a couch in my room and I promise not to ask questions.”

There’s a pause. He finally says, “Okay,” and when you look up at him he’s got that same smirk he did before.

“Don’t give me that look,” you say, pointing a finger at him. “You will be sleeping on the couch, believe that.”

His smirk doesn’t dissipate as he nods. “Sure,” he says.

You roll your eyes. “Oh, my god, I’m leaving now.” You turn and start walking away, resting your hand on your chest, trying to calm your heart rate.

“Hey, (y/n)?” he calls after you. Reluctantly, you turn back. He’s got a different look now, less cocky. “You were close with Sarah, right?” He rubs his hand on the back of his neck.

“Yeah,” you say, “we used to be best friends when we were little.” You hadn’t been that close with her in a long time, but you don’t tell him that.

“Do you think they’re,” he drops his hands by his side, sighing, “you know-”

“Dead?” you ask.

He rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah, but I was trying not to say the word.”

You smile a little, brushing some hair out of your face. “No, I don’t,” you say simply.

He nods, looking down at the ground, and gives you a smile. “Last window to the left, right?” he asks. “On the back side of the house?”

You try to stop the smile that’s threatening to engulf your face. “Yeah.”

You turn around, walking back to your deck. You hear the lawn mower start. Your feet feel like they’re no longer touching the ground. You have no idea if he’ll come, and you wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, but you feel better knowing you’ve offered, that he has the option.

And the thought of getting to see his face more sure doesn’t hurt.

taglist!! please inbox me to be on the tag list!!!! if it’s not an inbox it won’t go on the list!

@o-b-x @dolanfivsosxox @casualcolorstarfish @timotaychalabae @sarahsmaybank

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daveeddiggsit · 4 years

Text

Broken, but Not Shattered

WIDEOUT MASTERLIST

Series: WIDEOUT (chpt vii)

Note: This took me so long to write. Partly bc I kept getting distracted from other projects, but partly bc it’s a hella long chapter. ANYWAYS, i really hope you enjoy. To me, it feels like a movie, but let me know your thoughts! Enjoy :)

Word Count: 10.1k

Pairing: Football Player!Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Warnings: injury. T has a panic attack at some point. poor T, he just needs a hug :( implied sex. angst. cursing. smooches. mental health struggle in wake of an incident. anxiety.

Summary: During your Senior year of high school, an unfortunate event happens during Thomas’ last football game of the regular season. Thomas gets pushed to his limits mentally and physically. How does your relationship fare in the wake of his injury?

Tagging: @coololdsoulpoetlove @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @lilangeldevil006 @pana-ce-a @merrahonthawall @katierpblogg @thespianbooks @a-hopeless-fan @uniquelystarchildthedragon @wcreech @sabbrriiinnaa @imperial-martian @harpersmariano @icanneverbesatisfied @underthewillowtreerycb @i-know-i-can

ELEVEN MONTHS LATER...

Your high school holds an annual tailgate before the final home football game of each season. This is the first time you are motivated (and excited) to attend the tailgate. The past three years, you’d decided to skip out, but due to this year being your Senior year (Thomas also may or may not have something to do with it), you partake in this year’s festivities along with the rest of the student body.

After the bell rings, dismissing everybody from their last class of the day, a sea of students migrates down to the football stadium. There, you and Maria discover food vendors of all sorts along with party games that are scattered around the perimeter of the stadium and in the parking lot. It almost feels like a carnival in a way, except there are no rides and you’re surrounded by a bunch of kids with a copious amount of school pride.

You and your best friend have fun and roam around for some time, getting a bite to eat at a vendor here and there. Everyone around you is having a blast, whether they’re walking around in their friend groups or playing games.

Eventually, you and Maria go to get some ice cream, but on the way you run into Ellie, a cheerleader who also happens to be a Senior. You’ve gotten to know her well due to your now frequent presence at Panther Football games and because she’s in your English class. You also hear a lot about her from Maria, who probably spends more time photographing the cheerleader than the actual football games now since they’ve met. You notice that she speaks of Ellie while gushing about her beauty and intelligence extremely often; it’s safe to say that Maria has an immense crush on her.

“Oh, hey, guys! Nice to see you.” Ellie says with a smile, causing you and your best friend to stop walking.

Although the cheerleader has greeted you both, her gaze barely wavers from Maria, and suddenly you feel like you are intruding. That’s when you decide that it’s time to become Maria’s wingwoman.

“Hey!” You grin widely, looking between her and Maria. “Ellie! Maria was actually just talking about you.” Your best friend’s eyes widen at your lack of subtlety.

“Really?” Ellie asks, her eyes brightening up as she turns her full attention to Maria who blushes slightly.

She coughs lightly to try and cover it up before her eyes quickly flit over to you in a panic. You raise your eyebrows and use your hand to gesture her to go on.

“Oh, um…” Maria starts, pulling your gaze away from you and towards Ellie. “Yeah, El, I uh was…” She glances up at you again over Ellie’s shoulder and you point to the ice cream truck next to you and mouth, ‘get ice cream.’ “...wondering if you wanted to come and get some ice cream with me? Us. At the truck.”

You have never ever, in your seven years of best friendship, seen Maria act this nervous around a girl… let alone need your help to talk to someone she likes. There’s something about this Ellie girl that has turned Maria completely shy and you can’t help but gush at how cute the both of them are.

“Oh, yeah! I’d really like that.” Ellie says happily, causing Maria to grin. They both turn around to walk towards the ice-cream truck and Maria stops for a second, noticing that you’re not with them anymore.

“Y/N, are you coming?” She asks, slightly more comfortable now that Ellie’s accepted her offer.

“No, you guys go. I just uh…” You try to think of an excuse when suddenly your phone vibrates, luckily giving you one. You glance down at it, seeing a text pop up from your boyfriend. “I just got a text from Thomas, so I should probably go meet him. You guys have fun, though!”

Ellie nods, saying, “We will! See you around, Y/N,” before gently grabbing Maria’s arm to lead her away.

Beaming, Maria turns her head towards you and mouths, “thanks, love you.” You send her a wink and blow her a kiss, watching her walk away with her soon-to-be beau. This is the happiest you’ve seen her in a long time and you’re beyond excited to see her finally want to start dating someone again after her last breakup with her lying ex-boyfriend, Alexander.

Satisfied with your work, you turn to walk through the crowds of students and towards the underneath of the bleachers: the breathtakingly romantic spot Thomas has chosen for you to meet.

When you arrive, you don’t spot him for a second before you feel a pair of arms snake around your waist from behind. A familiar voice sounds next to your ear, causing you to shiver unintentionally. “You’re looking mighty cute today, princess. You come here often?”

You relax against the warm body behind you once you realize who the voice belongs to. A small smile spreads across your cheeks as you respond. “Under the bleachers? Nah. I’m only here because I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”

“Oh?” You can hear the smile in his voice as his arms wrap more snuggly around you. “Well, he must be a very lucky guy.”

You lean your head back against Thomas’ shoulder. “Yep. Extremely lucky, considering the fact that we’re both standing in the space where people do God knows what during games.”

He just laughs and nuzzles his face into your neck, his warm breath fanning out against you. He presses a few kisses there before his lips trail up to your cheek to press a chaste peck there as well. “I was wonderin’ how long it was gonna take for you to show up.” Thomas murmurs against your skin and your eyes flutter shut at the contact.

You muster up the strength to turn your body in his arms so that you can face him. Thomas is breathtakingly handsome as always, sporting his charcoal football jersey over a dark hoodie and a pair of black ripped jeans. He’s beaming and smiling down at you like you’re his whole world.

“It wasn’t that long.” You roll your eyes with a lazy grin tugging at your lips. “I was hanging with Maria until we ran into Ellie, so I left them alone to come meet you.”

“Yeah? They together yet? They keep dancin’ around each other; one of them needs to make a move.”

You laugh at Thomas’ words. “Hey, you make it sound like it’s easy.”

“They’re so obviously into each other! They need to just confess their feelings and get together. Can’t be that difficult.” Thomas shrugs, looking down at you.

You just give him a pointed look. “You’re one to talk, Jefferson. Do you remember how nervous you were before our first kiss? Your hands were literally shaking…”

Thomas withdraws his touch from your waist and crosses his arms over his chest. He licks his lips and looks away for a second before he speaks. “Alright, alright, come on, now.” His deadpanned gaze shifts back to you, but the glint in his eyes is playful. “You still gonna hold that over me? It’s almost been a year.”

You splay your arms out innocently as your mouth falls open with a smile. “It was cute!”

“I was vulnerable, Y/N!” He responds dramatically with wide eyes. “I didn’t know what you were feeling. What if you’d rejected me?”

“Well, I didn’t.” You take a step closer to him, reaching your hands up to wrap around his forearms to pull his arms back down around you, but he doesn’t budge. Instead, you’re just standing there with your hands on his forearms as you two stare at each other. “T, I obviously didn’t reject you.”

“I know that now.” Thomas finally unfolds his arms and brushes his hands up your arms and down your body before they come to a stop at your waist again. He hugs you close to him before he speaks again. “But I wasn’t sure if you were even into me like that back then.”

You grin, looking up at him and settling your hands on his chest. “Exactly, so don’t blame El and M for not rushing things. Let them figure it out on their own.”

“Alright, point made, sweetheart, point made.” He laughs, rolling his eyes before staring down at you with a gaze that you can’t quite describe. It makes your breath catch in your throat and your heart swell. You can’t put your finger on it, but it’s soft but firm at the same time and it has a certain fondness to it that you can’t decipher — it’s like he’s sure of something, but doesn’t want to voice it.

The comfortable silence between you stretches on as he continues to stare unabashedly.

You grab a hold of the black polyester material of his jersey to pull him closer. “What?” You ask, breathing out a nervous laugh.

Thomas snaps out of his gaze by releasing a chuckle before he leans down, causing his face to near yours. His smile reaches his eyes and causes your heart to soar. “Nothin’... just—” His eyes flicker down to your lips for a split second. “You’re a good friend, baby.”

“Yeah?” You whisper, grinning as your noses brush against each other.

“Mhm.” He hums before he leans in to sweetly press his mouth to yours.

The kiss warms you up as his hands leave your waist to hold your face gently. Your fingers clutch his jersey tightly, pulling him against you as his lips slowly capture yours again and again, leaving you breathless.

Kissing Thomas never gets old; it’s always like a breath of fresh air. You revel in the sense of presence he creates every time you’re close to him. It’s relaxing, giving you a feeling of home and familiarity that only he can provide.

You two just stay there for a bit, hugging each other closely as the sounds of music and chatter from students can be heard in the distance. You’re content in his warm embrace, and he’s the only thing keeping you warm in the chilly Autumn weather.

Some time later, Thomas leads you out from under the bleachers to walk to the topside of them. You two sit at the front row towards the bottom of the vacant seats. Leaning your head against Thomas’ shoulder, you look out to the empty football field.

“So, a scout for W&M Football is gonna be at the game today.” Thomas voices softly, causing you to pull back enough to look him in the eye. “Coach said he’s been talking to him about me, so he flew out to watch me play in person.”

“Really? Holy shit, Thomas, that’s amazing.” You say, grinning and reaching a hand up to tenderly hold his cheek. “I’m proud of you, babe.”

He smiles and looks down bashfully before he gazes back at you. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, sweetheart. Haven’t impressed the guy enough to get a scholarship yet.”

“Exactly. ‘Yet.’ You will, you know that.” You say, moving your hand back down to lightly nudge his arm. “You’re the most ‘confident’ guy I know.” You put air quotes around confident because that’s what Thomas dubs himself instead of letting himself get called cocky.

He laughs, shaking his head before he looks back out, squinting his eyes in the bright sunlight. The golden rays bring out the brown in his curls and eyes, making them a more honey shade. “That I am, I suppose.”

“You nervous?” You ask, watching him closely. As much as Thomas pegs himself the confident (and sometimes arrogant by others) one on the outside, you know that he’s still human and experiences times of unsureness.

“For the game or the scout?”

“Both.” You answer, shrugging, watching a golf cart fly by on the track in front of you.

Thomas glances back at you and momentarily admires the way the sunlight illuminates your face. A smile spreads across his lips before he responds. “To be honest? Not really.” He says, causing you to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “For the game? Not nervous at all. We beat Easton by 30 points last time we played them. And as far as the W&M scout goes, I am a bit nervous, but I know I should be fine as long as I play like I normally do.”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “Wow… and here I was thinking that Thomas Jefferson was turning a little modest on me.”

He just laughs, his gaze playful as he looks at you. “Never, darlin’. Can’t be unsure of myself when I got my girl on the sideline as my good luck charm.”

You grin and shake your head at him. “Well, for what it’s worth and not that you need any more words of encouragement — because you seem to have it all figured out,” You give him a pointed look that’s more teasing than anything serious. “I think you’re gonna be great today, T.” You say sweetly, perching your chin on his shoulder.

Thomas’ grin brightens and he moves to place his lips gently on your forehead before he wraps an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer. He rests his head on top of yours as you both turn to watch the white lines on the turf get freshly painted over in preparation for the game later.

“Your words will always mean more to me than you think, sweetheart.” He says softly.

⋆﹥ ━━━━━━━ ♛ ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Maria shows up later than usual to the sideline to start setting up her gear. You can’t help but be slightly suspicious about her previous whereabouts and you wonder if it has to do with a certain cheerleader.

“Sooo…” You start off, the corner of your mouth twisting up into a knowing grin. “Where were you? Why’re you late?”

Maria just smiles bashfully as she starts to unpack her camera bag. “I’m getting some real Deja Vu from last year when you and Thomas got together, except now I’m in your shoes.”

You laugh, watching her as she blushes slightly and pauses her actions. “So, I’m guessing that you were with Ellie?” Maria nods, causing you to grin wider. “Are you guys official yet?”

You wait in anticipation as you stare at Maria who purses her lips before she looks away for a second. “I don’t know.” She mumbles.

“What?” You ask, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“I don’t know.” Maria repeats, looking back at you, shrugging her shoulders.

“What do you mean you don’t know, Maria?”

“I mean, she kissed me… and then we got interrupted by something, and then we didn’t really talk about labeling ourselves or anything, but she said to meet her after the game, so… I don’t know.”

You think for a second. “Well, if she wants you to meet her after the game, that means she wants to talk to you, right? So, just ask her then.”

“Ask her what?”

“Are you serious?” You give her a pointed look, a small grin pulling at your lips. “Ask her to be your girlfriend, dummy. That’s what you want, right?”

Maria busies herself by cleaning the lens of her camera with a rag. “I just… don’t wanna mess this up, Y/N. That’s why I get so nervous around her. All my past relationships have been shitty and… I don’t want her to turn into another one. You get what I mean?”

You nod in understanding. “Yeah. Yeah, I get that, but hey,” you put a hand on her arm, causing her to look at you. “She’s different, though. You’ve said it before, and I can see it. I have a good feeling about this one… and I’m sure you do, too. I say go for it, M. I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time. You deserve to be happy.”

You pause for a second before you ramble on. “Not that being in a relationship solely constitutes happiness, but… you know what I mean.”

Maria just smiles and looks down for a second before she puts her camera down and hugs you tightly. “Thanks, Y/N. Really, it means a lot.” She mumbles against your shoulder and you squeeze her back just as tightly.

“Any time, M. It’s what I’m here for.” You say softly, rubbing her back. “You give me advice all the time, now it’s my turn. It’s a two-way street. We gotta support each other.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Maria sighs when she pulls back from the hug. “Okay, I’m gonna ask her. After the game. If you’re cool with waiting around a little bit, I know I’m your ride home, so—”

You dismiss her worries with a wave of your hand. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get T to drive me. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Yeah, but tonight was supposed to be Girls’ Night…”

“Don’t worry about it, Maria.” You stress with a smile. “We’ll reschedule. Promise. When the game ends, you go get your girl. Win or lose… no matter what, okay?”

Maria nods and takes in a deep breath.

“Okay. Promise.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━ ♛ ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Thomas was right earlier. Easton High School’s football team is not a great team. The game is a complete blowout with your home team beating their opponent 38-7 at halftime. You can tell that the other team is salty from some things you can hear them yelling on the opposite side of the field, but they really have no grounds to talk because of the fact that they’re getting beat so badly by Thomas’ team.

You were also right earlier. Thomas has been having a phenomenal game. It’s one of the best games you’ve seen him play thus far — he has three touchdowns and it’s only the beginning of the third quarter.

Although Easton has the ball currently as they try to score, Thomas, Aaron, James, and the rest of his teammates standing on the sideline don’t seem fazed or worried at all. They’re all goofing around by laughing and making jokes with each other. At some point, Thomas even goes over to his position coach to ask for some Skittles and he gives him a handful.

You don’t even raise an eyebrow when you spot him with a handful of candy during games anymore. You’ve noticed him, James, and Aaron with them throughout the season and you have no desire to ask anymore.

It isn’t long before the Panthers’ defense stops Easton’s drive with an interception, allowing the ball to go back to the Panthers offense’s possession. You watch as Thomas scrambles to get on the field with his teammates after finishing the last of his candy. He’s lucky that his coach doesn’t see him chewing when he puts his helmet back on.

There’s still plenty of game left, and it looks like Coach Washington isn’t planning on backing down his offense just yet when he yells at them to score. He doesn’t plan on showing any mercy to the visiting team.

Thomas is on the side of the field closest to you, but he doesn’t notice because his focus is locked into the game now. You can hear him jawing off with his defender as they both line up at the line of scrimmage. If Thomas Jefferson is known for one thing on the field, it’s trash talking — especially if someone on the opposing team initiates it.

Jefferson keeps his composure as he riles his opponent up, enough for you to notice that the other guy is heated.

The ball is snapped, starting play and Thomas sprints ahead of his defender. The quarterback throws the ball in his direction and Thomas jumps up to catch it when suddenly he is tackled by his opponent before his fingers can even graze the football. It’s a dirty play to say the least, and this causes the home side of the stadium to erupt in massive boos.

You yell in disgust at the hit along with Maria who stands besides you, but luckily Thomas is up on his feet in no time and yelling in the face of his defender. James runs up to separate him so that he doesn’t get a personal foul.

The refs throw their flags and call a ‘pass interference’ penalty, which satisfies the home team and their fans. It’s not long before both teams go to the new line of scrimmage, which is much closer to the end zone now.

Play starts again and Thomas swiftly runs towards the end zone while faking out his defender once again. He’s able to catch the ball this time and sprints far ahead of the opponents of the other team. He slows down right before he gets to the end zone and tauntingly waves at the defender who tackled him in the previous play.

Next, everything feels like it’s slow motion.

Right before Thomas crosses the goal line, two of the defenders from the other team dive to tackle him from behind and you can hear the impact of their bodies hitting him from your position on the sideline. One of the tacklers comes up short and lands on Thomas’ left ankle, causing it to buckle while Thomas falls down along with it in the end zone.

The entire stadium erupt into cheers at the touchdown, unaware of the damage done to the star wide receiver. The defenders stand up and are pushed back by their teammates. Seconds pass by and gradually, the cheers start to die down as Thomas still lies face-down on the turf, his left hand weakly reaching towards his left ankle.

He’s not getting up.

Your heart begins to beat rapidly in your chest as panic starts to rise. Oh… oh no.

“Come on, baby. Come on. Get up.” You whisper under your breath. “You’re okay, Tommy. Please get up.”

Slowly, Thomas is able to get himself on his hands and knees, but it’s not without him yelping in pain. Your heart breaks for him.

James sprints and is crouched on the ground by Thomas’ side in no time. He puts a comforting hand on his back and you can see him talking to him, asking him if he’s okay. After a few seconds, James turns towards the sideline and signals for a trainer to go to them. Thomas slowly turns over so that he lies on his back with help from James and you can see his body writhe in pain as he reaches for his lower left leg again.

There’s an eerie quiet that blankets the stadium now. You don’t like it. You hate how a place filled with sounds of happiness and joy could morph into a space almost completely stripped of sound period — filled with emptiness and despair instead at the drop of a dime.

Now all the players on the field take a knee for Thomas as he’s slowly helped up by his teammates and the team trainers. They lead him to a golf cart where he sits, clutching at his left ankle. His helmet is still on, and you can’t see his face through his visor, but you know that he’s hurting beneath the mask as he hangs his head.

One of the defenders who tackled him has his helmet off now as he goes to apologize to Thomas. The guilt and regret is evident in his face that he caused something so detrimental to happen to a fellow athlete — because that’s all they are at the end of the day: athletes. They all play the same sport; ultimately, it doesn’t matter which team they play for. They’re all just doing what they love: playing football. And nobody deserves to have that be stripped away from them at the blink of an eye.

The forever silence is now broken as claps can be heard from everyone, showing sportsmanship and solidarity for Thomas and his injury as he’s driven off the field and towards the main building where the locker rooms are.

“Y/N…” Maria says softly next to you, and you finally notice that your hand has been placed over your mouth in shock for the past five minutes. “I’m so sorry.”

“I…” You start out, but your voice is wobbly. A single tear runs down your cheek and you wipe it away and sniffle as you try to stay strong. “What do I do?”

You have to stay strong for Thomas, but you feel helpless. You don’t know where to go, who to talk to. Are you allowed to go and see him in the locker room or do you wait until the game ends? Do you call his parents or will his coach take care of that? How bad is the injury? Is Thomas going to be okay?

You’re interrupted from your thoughts when the rest of the Panthers offense comes off the field. James stops when he reaches you.

“He needs you, Y/N.” He says, taking off his helmet. James looks just as worried as you feel. “It’s not looking good… and he’s gonna need someone to lean on. I know him, and with his parents gone in LA and the team still playing out the rest of the game… he shouldn’t be alone right now. He may act big and tough on the field in front of everyone, but you know how T is. He needs support.”

You nod slowly and sniffle before taking a deep breath. You look towards Maria and she nods at you, saying, “Go to him, Y/N.”

“Okay.” You whisper, looking between the two of them. “Okay.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━ ♛ ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Your mind races as you wait outside the trainer’s room where Thomas is getting treated by the team doctor. On your way inside, you went to the locker room to retrieve Thomas’ backpack per the request of one of the trainers standing in the hallway outside the medical room.

Despite it feeling like hours, it isn’t long before the team physician comes out of the room, causing you to perk up as you lean against the wall. The doctor whispers to the trainer and you pick up snippets of their conversation from your position next to the door.

“...has to go to the hospital for an x-ray… lots of swelling… unclear whether it’s fractured or a ruptured achilles.”

After they finish speaking, you ask if you can go in. They nod, and the doctor tells you that Thomas is being unresponsive to any questions that are being asked of him. The doctor asks you to break the news of a hospital visit being necessary tonight, and just like that you feel like you have a huge weight on your shoulders. But you don’t care because right now, you just want to see Thomas and make sure that he’s okay, so you just nod before you enter the room quickly with Thomas’ bag in your hands.

When you enter, you see Thomas on an exam table in a corner of the room. He’s just sitting there, both of his legs hanging off the table, his newly injured ankle out of his cleat and wrapped in ice to reduce the swelling. He still has his shoulder pads on and grass stains are evident on his dark uniform. He doesn’t notice you come in because his head is buried in his gloved hands.

You set his bag down, next to the door entrance and carefully make your way towards him. As you get closer, you can see his shoulders rise and fall with each shaky breath he takes. Gently, you place a hand on his arm, causing him to jump slightly.

“Hey, T. It’s okay, baby, it’s just me.” You say softly, tilting your head a little bit to make eye contact with him through his fingers. Slowly, he drops both of his hands to his lap, revealing his face to you. He looks like a ghost of his normal confident, cheery self. There are bags under his red eyes and you can tell that he is utterly exhausted.

But still, at the sight of you, Thomas’ lips twinge up into a sad smile (he doesn’t hide his distress as well as he thinks) as he reaches out to graze his fingers against your cheek.

“Hi, sweetheart.” He says, half-heartedly. He’s happy to see you, he really is, but his tone is dampened by the pain he is feeling. “What’re you doin’ in here? You should be out cheerin’ and havin’ fun with everyone else.” His voice is quiet, and you wonder if it’s because he’s afraid it will break if he speaks any louder.

“T, if you think I come to these games to hang with the rest of the team, you’re wrong. I come for you because I… I wanna support you.” You say earnestly, searching both of his eyes with yours.

At your words, he sends you a half-smile that turns into a grimace when his ankle throbs again. Thomas pats the space next to him, signaling for you to sit. You do, and immediately you notice his fidgeting and trembling hands that lay in his lap, still gloved from the game.

“Let’s get these off, yeah?” You say quietly, carefully reaching for his palms to place them in your lap. Your fingers gingerly undo the strap to each of his gloves and you peel them off his hands one by one before you place them neatly next to you.

When you’re done, Thomas’ right hand gently grabs one of yours and wordlessly laces your fingers together. He presses a warm kiss to the back of your hand as a silent thank you. Silence stretches between you two for a little while as you just sit there, your thumb rubbing reassuring circles on the back of his hand.

“How’re you feeling?” You ask softly. You’re sure he has a million thoughts running through his mind, but you’re not sure how much more of this he can take before it finally sinks in and hits him.

“It hurts...” He says, releasing a shaky breath. You squeeze his hand in reassurance, letting him know your support wordlessly. While he’s been quiet since you’d walked into the room, your question unintentionally prompts Thomas to start pouring out his thoughts at rapid speed.

“And… an— and I don’t know if it’s broken or not. Or if I’ll be able to play football this season, or ever again for that matter. I… I do think it’s broken, though. I’ve had sprains and they’ve never hurt like this.”

You can hear his breathing start to quicken as he continues to ramble.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. What if this ends my career, Y/N? I can’t end my high school career like this. All my plans for the future: gone. What about scholarships? I wanted to be in the NFL like my dad. How am I supposed to get drafted by the Giants if I can’t— if I can’t play college ball?” He shakes his head at the mention of his father as his voice darkens slightly. “And speaking of my dad, why aren’t my parents here when I fucking need them? I fucking do everything for them and they can’t be here when I actually need them? They went to a charity event in LA instead of my last regular season game when they knew a scout would be watching tonight. Oh my god, the scout. What if—”

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay, T. Just breathe. You’re not alone in this.” You bring your other hand up to his cheek to turn his face towards you to make eye contact with him. You look at him firmly and tell him, “You’re going to be okay, babe. Let’s just take it one step at a time, one play at a time, just like Coach says, right?”

You vaguely remember Thomas telling you one night that Coach Washington lives by the ‘one play at a time’ code, which basically means taking things, in life and in football, one step at a time.

Fortunately, you see Thomas visibly begin to calm down from your words. It’s heartbreaking to see him have a panic attack like this; all you want is for him to feel better, so you continue to talk, letting your voice soothe him.

“Let’s just stay positive and focus on the next step right now, babe. And right now, that next step is getting you to a hospital so that we can get that ankle x-rayed. Okay? We can do that, right?”

Thomas takes in deep breaths, his breathing slowly turning back to normal. After searching your eyes, he exhales heavily and drops his head before he squeezes his eyes shut.

“Yeah, we can do that.” He murmurs, so soft you can barely hear it. He starts to shake his head before he speaks again. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I don’t want you seein’ me like this. I’m a fucking mess. And I know this isn’t how we planned today would go.”

“T, you’re allowed to have emotions. I don’t care if you’re a mess, I want to know that you’re okay. I’m your girlfriend. I’m here for you always. Not just when you win games.”

Thomas licks his lips and nods before he looks at you; his gaze is full of gratefulness and admiration, but the sorrow is still clearly evident. His mouth opens as if he’s going to say something, but hesitates and thinks better of it. Instead, he leans over to hug you closely against his side (as best as he can with his shoulder pads still on).

“Thank you, baby. You have no idea how much that means to me… how much you being here means to me.”

With the way Thomas has always treated you and the way he’s acting now, you feel like you do have an idea, though. He’s always shown you so much care and expressed how grateful he is through his actions every day. You know that you mean as much to him as he does to you… and that’s saying something.

You two stay like that for some time, but you know that you eventually have to pull away to follow the team physician’s orders and get him to the hospital. Slowly and gently, you pull back from his embrace and reach up to give Thomas a chaste kiss, it’s quick but reassuring at the same time.

“Okay, Tommy, let’s get these shoulder pads off you and get you to the hospital, yeah?”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━ ♛ ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Fractured.

That is the word that sticks out most amidst the countless thoughts that swirl around Thomas’ head.

The hospital visit was surprisingly quick — in and out, resulting in Thomas leaving with crutches and a magenta cast on his left ankle.

His parents had called while he was in the waiting room with you and Danté, his trainer from the team (some adult supervision had to be involved even though you and Thomas are 18). His father had told him that they’d be on the first flight out of LAX and back home first thing tomorrow morning. Both of his parents are worried about him (his mother is more vocal about it than his father) especially after Thomas called them back up to tell them the results of his x-rays.

While he had felt his anxiety ignite again and spread throughout his chest at the news of his fractured ankle, he’d stayed strong in front of his family, the doctor, his trainer, and you. He took the news like a champ on the outside, but on the inside, he kept feeling like he could barely keep it together.

That’s where he is now: sitting silently in the passenger seat of his Mustang, trying to keep his emotions in check as you drive him home from the hospital. It’s not the first time you’ve driven his car, and while he’d normally make a charming comment about you looking extremely attractive driving the Mustang, he stays quiet. The repetitions of the doctor’s words still ring in Thomas’ mind, hindering him from acting anything like his usual self… and he hates it. He hates the effect that one word has on him.

Fractured. Fractured. Fractured.

“As you can see, your fibula is fractured right here above the lateral malleolus. Luckily, the bone isn’t displaced, so we’re gonna treat this as a…”

After hearing the word he’s dreaded most, Thomas zones out and gets lost in thought as he mindlessly watches the doctor point to various areas on the x-ray.

“...don’t think surgery will be necessary; however, we do believe a cast is imperative. This does mean that there will be no physical activity, of any sort, for at least six to eight weeks. Do I make myself clear?”

Thomas doesn’t respond, staring blankly at the man in the white coat in front of him.

“Did you hear what I said, Mr. Jefferson?” The doctor asks more sternly, and Thomas snaps out of it. He stares up at the physician, his eyes more alert.

“Yeah, Doc.” He says halfheartedly. He sounds so drained of energy, so unlike his usual self. “Loud and clear.”

Everything the doctor had told him at the hospital hadn’t exactly been a surprise; in fact, it’s exactly what Thomas had predicted. His ankle is broken and he won’t be able to play football for six to eight weeks… and that terrifies him.

His high school football career is officially over… and he won’t get to finish out the playoff season with his teammates.

The silence in the car stretches on and when you get to the familiar road that leads to Thomas’ house, you sneak a glance over at him. He’s staring out the window and you are aware of the fact that he hasn’t spoken since he was released from the hospital. You can only imagine the whirlwind of thoughts going through his mind right now and your heart once again breaks for him.

You take your right hand off the steering wheel to gently lace your fingers with his, giving him a comforting squeeze to signify your reassurance. He squeezes back weakly, giving you a good indication at where he is mentally. You don’t want to poke or prod him, so you allow the silence to linger in the space between you two until you finally reach his home.

Once you pull into his garage and close it behind you, you go to release Thomas’ hand and get out of the car, but he tightens his hold on your fingers, preventing you from going anywhere.

“T, babe, you gotta let me go so I can grab your stuff.” You say gently, letting the driver's side door fall shut after having already opened it. He’s still blankly staring out the side window when you turn to him. Thomas reluctantly lets go of your hand and you take that as an okay for you to get out.

You walk over to the passenger's side of the car to grab his crutches out of the back seat. With his crutches in your grasp, you go to open his door. He quickly wipes at his left eye before he slowly turns his body and swings his legs so that he faces your direction. His magenta wrapped ankle rests carefully against the concrete floor of the garage. Thomas eventually looks up at you, revealing his red eyes and tear-filled gaze.

“Hey…” You murmur, jumping to quickly take action, seeing Thomas clearly in a state of distress. You lean the crutches against the side of the Mustang before you move to caress his cheek.

Thomas just looks down and wipes at his eyes before clearing his throat. “I’m fine.” He croaks, his voice breaking and wavering as he sucks in a shaky deep breath.

He moves to stand up, but your hands go to press down firmly on his shoulders. Thomas doesn’t seem to protest or resist against your touch as he stays seated with his feet still planted on the concrete. You shake your head at him as you try to catch his teary gaze.

“You’re clearly not fine, T.” You voice softly as you step into the open space between his legs. You bring your hands up to hold his face gently. “Look, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but please, Tommy, don’t…” You pause, searching for the right words, “don’t hold it all in. You don’t need to be a big tough guy in front of me. I know you.”

A single tear rolls down his cheek as his resolve starts to slowly break. You tenderly wipe it away with your thumb as you gaze into his watering eyes.

“It’s okay to cry, babe.”

And then, the last of his walls come tumbling down. Thomas lets his tears fall freely now as his face contorts into a sob. Your eyebrows furrow in concern as his composure crumples. You pull him to you as he ducks his head to bury his face in the material of your sweater.

It’s the first time you’ve seen Thomas cry and all you want to do is be there for him and comfort him to make him feel better — to make all his pain disappear.

You just stand there, one hand holding his head to you and the other rubbing comforting circles on his back to soothe him. You can feel his body shake with each sob as you try your best to console him and work him through it, occasionally murmuring reassuring words to him.

It pains you to see him like this. All you can do is embrace him and let the torrent of his tears soak through your sweater. You could feel him clutch at the fabric from the back of your sweater as he hugs you tightly to him, like he’s grasping at the only thing — the only person — keeping him above water at the moment. He holds onto you because you’re the one saving him from sinking into the depths of his negative thoughts and anxiety.

Thomas clenches his fists again and again, not knowing whether to be angry (at his parents, at the guy who tackled him, at himself) or to give up all hope. You can hear his irregular breathing as he whimpers against you. Gently, you run your hand over his curls, time and time again, in an attempt to calm the silent war within his mind.

You stay like that for a while, soothing him as he lets out all of his pent up emotions. Over time, he gradually calms down, his breathing slowly returning back to a normal rhythm. Only the sounds of your and Thomas’ breathing can be heard as a tranquil quiet blankets the room.

Eventually, Thomas finally pulls back from you, eyes closed and he takes in a deep breath. It’s still slightly shaky, but he’s much better than the state he was in before.

You use your sleeve to gingerly wipe up the leftover tears that had wet his face. When you're done, both of your hands cup his cheeks as his eyes flutter back open. You send him a soft smile when you catch his gaze.

“There he is.” You whisper, letting your thumbs lightly caress his skin. “Hi, babe.”

He purses his lips before he responds, noticing the huge wet stain on the front of your sweater. “Shit, sweetheart. Sorry for fucking up your shirt.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, T. Just means that I can steal another one of your hoodies.”

That causes Thomas to crack a watery grin, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him smile in hours. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long because his expression returns to a serious one in a matter of just a few seconds.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He murmurs before sniffing; his gratefulness is evident in his gaze, but it’s accompanied by a hint of fatigue as well. “Really. Thank you so much, baby. For being here. Supporting me. I… I needed that.”

“Of course, I’m here, T. I’ll always be here, okay?” You say, watching him slowly nod. After a few moments you speak again. “How’re you feeling? Better?”

He shrugs, looking up at you tiredly. “A little. I still feel like shit, but at least I don’t feel like I’m about to explode.”

“Yeah, please don’t hold your feelings in like that, anymore. I really don’t wanna see my boyfriend explode because he’s ‘too manly to cry.’” You drop your hands from his face to form air quotes on the tail end of your sentence.

“Noted.” He breathes out a small laugh. Warmth blossoms in your chest as you watch him slowly turn back into his normal self. “Also, I feel gross and I’m in desperate need of a shower, so that’s not helping my mood right now, either.”

You grin at him. “Well, that can definitely be arranged once we get you outta this car.”

The small smile returns on Thomas’ face as you open the car door a little further, so that it’s open as wide as it can go. “That’s usually my job.” He says, causing you to raise an eyebrow as you grab ahold of his crutches once again.

“What?” You ask, watching Thomas rise as he slowly gets out of his car.

He grunts as he balances on his right foot and you hand him his crutches. When he situates himself and regains balance, he responds, nodding at the car door. “You opened the door for me earlier. That’s supposed to be my job, princess.”

You grin and roll your eyes, shutting the car door behind him as he moves forward towards the door to his house. “Yeah, well now it’s my turn to return the favor and treat you like a prince… especially given the current situation.”

You grab his backpack from the trunk of the Mustang as Thomas throws the door to his home open.

“Oh, you already do, darling.” He says over his shoulder before you follow him in.

When you get inside the house, you leave his bag by the door at Thomas’ request and drop his keys on the counter in the kitchen. Before Thomas goes to shower, he joins you in the kitchen and heats up (he insists on being the one to do it because he’s ‘not completely helpless’) some leftover macaroni in the microwave for you both as a late dinner. He’s starving after having played a game and gone through as much emotional and physical trauma as he did.

Halfway through your meal, you feel your phone vibrate repeatedly in your pocket. You realize you’ve forgotten about it for hours, having been worrying constantly about your boyfriend’s mental and physical health. You dig your phone out of your jeans to see your brother Erik calling you.

You glance over at Thomas who is nose deep in his dinner before you accept the call.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, finally, Jesus. Where are you? Why weren’t you responding to my texts?”

“I’ve been busy, tonight’s been a crazy night, okay?” You glance over at Thomas who’s now looking up at you from his food with an eyebrow raised. You mouth ‘Erik’ and he nods, returning to eat. “Thomas got injured at the game today. It was bad. Had to drive him to the hospital and everything.”

“Shit, man.” Erik says on the other line, sounding worried. He and Thomas had surprisingly gotten along well with each other since you two started dating. They play Madden with each other occasionally when Erik’s back in town, so you know they’ve created some sort of friendship/brotherly bond. “Are you still there? At the hospital?”

“No, we’re at his place now. Just got here. Eating dinner.” You say before you glance at Thomas who’s staring down at his food now. There’s no way you’re leaving him alone here overnight. “Listen, E, can you please do me a huge favor and cover for me? Just tell Mom and Dad I’m staying at Maria’s for the night. I can’t just leave T alone in an empty house when he just broke his ankle.”

“Broken ankle — Jesus, that’s rough.” Erik is quick to respond. “But, yeah, sis, I got you. You’ve covered for me plenty of times.”

You let out a sigh of relief, happy that you’ll have your parents off your back now. “Thanks, Erik.”

“So, how’s Thomas taking the news? Is he good to talk?”

You pull the phone away from your ear to ask Thomas if he wants to speak to your brother on the phone. You say Erik’s worried about him and he nods. You hand the phone to him and watch him as he holds it up to his ear.

“Yo, what’s up, E?” Thomas greets; his voice sounds tired, but he sounds more like himself now. “I’ve been better. Hanging in there, I guess.”

You continue to eat the rest of your dinner as Thomas and Erik talk.

“Yeah, fractured actually. Doc said a bunch of scientific stuff, but I wasn’t really listening. I just know that I can’t finish out the season.” Thomas is quiet, staring down at the kitchen counter until he chuckles at something Erik says. “Yeah, there’ll always be Madden, bro. Just bummed because I wanna be on the cover one day and I can’t do that when I’m injured and at risk of losing scholarship opportunities.”

He listens to Erik’s words before he looks over at you, a small smile pulls at the corner of his lips. “Yeah, I know. She’s been with me all night since it happened. Honestly, I don’t know what’d I’d be doing right now without her. You’re sister’s a real one, bro. Y/N’s a life saver.”

You smile at him sweetly as he watches you with a soft glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, no, you won’t have to worry about that, trust me.” He breathes out a short laugh. “Alright, bro, I’ll catch you later.” He’s quiet for a few seconds as Erik responds. “I will. You, too. Alright, bye.”

Thomas hangs up and hands the phone back to you.

“You guys good?” You ask, putting your phone back in your pocket.

Thomas nods, finishing up the last of his dinner. “We’re good. Erik’s a good dude.”

“You sure, bro?” You tease, a grin tugging at your lips. “Why do you say ‘bro’ every other sentence when you’re talking to my bro, bro?”

By now, you know that Thomas code switches when he talks to his friends versus when he’s with you, but you can’t help but try to cheer him up by poking fun at him.

“Leave me alone, bro. That’s just the way I talk to all the bros, you wouldn’t understand.” He rolls eyes, a hint of a grin showing up on his face.

You laugh, shaking your head. You pick up your and Thomas’ plates and walk them over to the sink. “Just messin’ around, T. Givin’ you a hard time.”

“Yeah, bro, give the injured guy a hard time, because that’s a good idea.” Thomas deadpans. As put off as Thomas tries to act, he can’t stay pretend mad at you for long. After all, your attempt at lifting his mood and pushing him back towards his normal self is working.

“Okay, alright, lesson learned. Don’t make me feel guilty.” You voice before you walk back over to Thomas, chuckling in the process. “And stop calling me ‘bro.’ I like ‘sweetheart’ more.”

You send him a smile before you give him a quick peck on the lips.

“Alright. Noted, sweetheart.” Thomas murmurs with a lazy grin when you pull back.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━ ♛ ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Thomas doesn’t shower without making an offhand joke about you joining him. This time, he blames it on the fact that he’s ‘damaged goods’ and needs help undressing and that you’re really talented at that.

And although you roll your eyes and shove a trash bag at him so that he can cover his cast, you’re genuinely happy to see him bantering with you and joking around like he does normally. You know this injury is going to impact him immensely in the long run, both physically and mentally, but seeing him smile and joke around after pouring his heart out to you earlier in the garage really makes you extremely proud that he is holding his head high.

When you make sure that Thomas is all set to shower, you tell him to yell if he is actually in genuine need of your help. He says that he’ll be fine.

You make your way back to his room and get yourself comfortable. Although the tear stains on your sweater are now dry, you still go to Thomas’ closet to pick out one of his hoodies to sleep in. You also slip on some pajama shorts you’d left there from the last time you stayed over. It’s not your first time spending the night at Thomas’; the night of homecoming was… a lot of fun to say the least. And Thomas makes it a habit to sneak you into his room almost weekly, so you’ve resorted to leaving an extra change of clothes in his room just in case.

Finally comfortable in your new change of clothes, you fall back onto Thomas’ bed with a tired sigh before you grab your phone to check your messages. You see that you have a bunch of unread texts from Erik, Maria, and James.

Dismissing the texts from Erik because you just talked to him on the phone, you open the texts from James. He tells you that the Panthers won the game and that he and the rest of the team are worried about T. He also asks how Thomas is doing because he’s not answering his texts.

You respond, telling him about the fracture and that Thomas is taking it hard, but he’s staying strong and doing better now.

Then, you open the texts from Maria.

Maria (8:35pm): Hey, hope T’s doing okay

Maria (8:36pm): Hope YOU’RE okay too

Maria (9:07pm): Game’s over. Gonna go do the thing we talked about bc I made a promise, wish me luck

Y/N (11:13pm): hey, sorry M. haven’t really been checking my phone all night. T’s okay. broken ankle and he’s really bummed, but he’ll be okay. i’m doing okay too. being with T and seeing that he’s gonna be ok makes me worry a bit less

Y/N (11:13pm): but how’d the thing go?? please tell me it went well. u and ellie would b so cute together

Maria (11:15pm): No worries luv. Glad you and thomas are alright. Whole team was pretty shaken on the sideline after yall left. it was mad quiet even tho we were winning. And ellie was worried too.

Maria (11:16pm): Speaking of… the thing went well and I have a girlfriend now. Her name is ellie.

Y/N (11:16pm): omg congrats! beyond happy for u guys.

Y/N (11:16pm): T’s gonna be happy af lol when he finds out

Maria (11:18pm): Yeah now he can leave me tf alone about it every time he sees me

Y/N (11:19pm): lmao he was just tired of seeing yall circle around each other even tho u clearly had feelings for each other. i was too tbh

Y/N (11:19pm): but glad you guys are official now. you guys are ADORABLE together. i want all the details next time i see you, k?

Maria (11:20pm): I’ll give ALL the details on Monday lol. Promise.

Y/N (11:20pm): can’t wait

You grin at your phone, genuinely happy for Maria and Ellie. Then, you hear the bathroom door open and Thomas’ crutches sound from down the hall, each sound getting louder as he nears the bedroom.

When Thomas gets to the doorway, you sit up, directing your gaze to him. “I’m guessing you didn’t need help showering after all?” You ask, giving him a once over. He’s wearing shorts and no shirt. Some water droplets still linger on the muscles of his biceps and toned torso, like he was lazy to fully dry himself with his towel.

“Guess not.” He says with a shrug, making his way over to the bed. He sits down on his side, making himself comfortable by laying down, sighing in content as he does so. “Would have definitely been more entertaining had you joined, though.”

“I’m sure it would have.” You muse with a grin, sitting up crossing your feet under you. You decide to tell Thomas the news Maria texted you. “So, Maria and Ellie are dating now.”

Thomas smiles as he laces his fingers behind his head as he relaxes back on his pillow. “Yeah? ‘Bout time.”

“Yep. Also, James texted me. He said that y’all won the game and that he and the team wish you well. He wants you to text him back.”

“Eh, I’ll text him back tomorrow morning. I’m too exhausted right now.” He says, closing his eyes for a second. “But thanks for relaying the message, baby. Glad we won.”

You nod at him before moving off the bed to close his door and turn off the lights. When you get back in bed, Thomas speaks again.

“You know? On the phone, Erik said ‘no funny business,’ but honestly? Not like we haven’t done anythin’ in this bed already…”

Your jaw drops at his suggestive words and although they’re true, you push his shoulder lightly anyway. “Thomas!”

He chuckles softly, looking at you as you slip under the blankets with him. “It’s the truth.”

“I know but doesn’t mean you should say it like that.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t fully reach his eyes. You can tell he’s still hurting deep inside. Thomas being alone with his thoughts in the shower must have gotten to him. You shift closer to him and he rests his head on your chest as you gently thread your fingers into his hair to massage his scalp.

“Are you okay?” You ask softly as you feel him rise and fall with every breath.

It’s an honest question that you’ve been wanting to know the answer to all night. His breathing is even and calm as he ponders his next words.

“You want the truth?” Thomas asks after a minute of silence.

“Always, T.”

Thomas wedges his arms under you to wrap them around your torso. He’s quiet for a few more seconds until he speaks again, his voice small.

“I’m scared, baby.”

You think about your next words carefully before you speak. “I think that’s normal, T. It’s okay to be scared.”

“Do you know how many careers end after an injury like mine?” He asks quietly, the vibrations of his voice reverberating on your chest. “I mean, I know the doc said I’d be better in six to eight weeks, but… who knows if I’ll be the same player? If I’ll be good enough again.”

“You will be.”

“What about college offers? What if no team wants me because of this fracture? Then, I won’t be able to market myself enough to go pro like my dad and I... I don’t think I could live with that, Y/N.”

“Hey, remember what I said in the locker room? One step at a time, baby. The NFL is a long way in the future, okay? Right now? Focus on healing yourself. Offers will come, but give them time. It’s still the beginning of the school year; you have time. You’re gonna get through this and you’re gonna be playing football again in no time. It’s probably gonna be a little difficult, but I know you can do it.”

You pull back to hold his face gently and look into his eyes which hold confliction within them once more. You can see the fear in them, the worry, and the flurry of emotions that he’s going through every second.

“You know why, T?” When Thomas shakes his head slightly, you continue. “Because you are Thomas Jefferson: the strongest guy I know. And I know that you won’t let anything get in the way of you achieving your goals.”

Silence stretches in the air for a few moments as your words sink in.

“And, T?” You start again before you give him a gaze that lets him know that you are absolutely sure of the next words you’re about to say. “Just know that I’ll be proud of you no matter what. I’m already proud of you and the person you are.”

He purses his lips, holding himself together as he closes his eyes and leans forward to press his forehead to yours tenderly. His grip around your waist shakes slightly as he holds you tightly to him, as if he’s afraid you’ll let go.

Thomas cherishes moments like these with you — the fleeting moments where being with you gives him a sense of calm and peace. It’s night and day compared to the chaos he has to endure during practices and games with yelling coaches, teammates, and fans.

He loves football, though — he truly does. It’s been a constant in his life since the day he was brought into the world. Football has always been like his third parent; it’s taught him discipline, perseverance, and the importance of teamwork/family. Most of his crowning achievements thus far have been attributed to football and it’s something that he wants to stay in his life for the long-term future. Despite the fact that the sport has put him through more physical and mental pain than anything else, he’s still found a place for it in his heart.

But with you… with you Thomas has come to discover a different type of love. One that’s unconditional, unbreaking, and unforgiving. It’s the type of love that has him watching you with admiration at the most random moments. A certain kind of love that has him leaving home earlier in the mornings to pick you up from your house on his way to school just so he can spend a few extra minutes with you. It’s a love where he has completely, willingly given you his heart to do with as you please without him even really noticing.

So when you show Thomas your unconditional support by telling him that you believe in him, he cherishes that more than he would any compliment from a coach or recruiter.

As he sits here, with your hands in his hair and his forehead pressed against yours, feeling the warmest and most comfort he’s ever felt (despite the fact that he’s injured) — three little words pop up in his mind for what seems like the millionth time today amidst all the bad things he went through.

Not wanting to succumb to the stereotypes of teenage relationships where those three little words are thrown around like nothing, you and Thomas had elected early in your relationship that neither of you would say it until one is absolutely sure of it. Right now, Thomas has never been more sure of anything in his life. That’s when those three little words finally make their way to the tip of his tongue. And before he knows it, those words come tumbling out as a soft, breathless whisper.

“I love you.” He says, his eyes fluttering open so that he can firmly hold your gaze to let you know that he genuinely means it.

Thomas brings his slightly shaking hands up to gently press them against your cheeks so he can hold your face. He pulls back slightly and his eyes search yours. His voice is the most confident it’s been all night, but he doesn’t let it get louder than a murmur. “You don’t have to say it back. You don’t have to say anything, actually. I just want you to know that—”

“I love you, too, Thomas.” You whisper, cutting him off. “If it wasn’t obvious from my little speech before.”

Your words cause both you and Thomas to breathe out a quiet laugh as you hold one another. After a few moments, he leans in to press his warm lips to yours in a soft kiss.

When he pulls away, he hugs you close to him and the sound of each of your deep breaths soothe each other as you both edge closer towards sleep. This is the most tranquil Thomas has felt in a long time and he embraces the feeling fully. He doesn’t think about anything else for once. Just you and your presence and the sound of your even breathing.

It’s not long before both of you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

#Thomas Jefferson x Reader #thomas jefferson imagine #daveed x reader #daveed diggs x reader #daveed diggs imagine #jefferson x reader #tjeffs x reader #hamilton x reader #hamilton imagine #hamilton fanfiction #high school au #football player au #wideout #injury tw #anxiety tw

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onceuponastory · 3 years

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Coming Back Home: Chapter Seven - Whistle For the Choir

“Is it out of line if I was to be bold and say "Would you be mine"? Because I may be a beggar and you may be the queen I know I may be on a downer, I'm still ready to dream” - whistle for the choir: the fratellis

Plot: Based on a prompt by @orphicodysseywrites

Tag List: @shinydixon, @baker151910, @silverwings1999 and @thesundrop. Let me know if you want to be added!

Warnings: Some mentions of alcohol and anxiety. Also a few tiny sex mentions/references but nothing smutty. Notes: Wow. So it’s been a while since I’ve posted for this fic, hasn’t it? I’m sorry about that. BUT I love this story, and I intend to finish it. This chapter is more of a filler one before the wedding in the next chapter or two, so Y/N and Nick’s relationship isn’t a huge focus, but I hope you all enjoy it regardless!

Read the other parts / Read this story on Wattpad!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!

Softly groaning, I wake up. For a moment, I feel something on my waist, and almost scream, until I realise I'm still in Nick's arms. He's still fast asleep, his chest slowly rising and falling with every breath. I smile, watching him sleep for a while. He looks so content...so peaceful. Is this what it's like to get a proper nights sleep? But as soon as that thought crosses my mind, another replaces it. I didn't have a nightmare last night...did I? I had a proper nights sleep too. Frowning, I wiggle out of Nick's arms, trying not to wake him. Once I've done that, I roll over to where the clock beside my bed reads 7:47am. Oh my god. I slept FULLY through the night for one of the first and only times in my life. I sit for a few moments, trying to decipher what it was that helped me sleep so well. Is it because I’ve been drinking less wine? Or is it because I’ve been eating healthier recently?

“You idiot.” I tell myself. “You know why you slept well, and he’s sleeping right beside you.” Nick grunts, and shifts a little in his sleep. Looking back down at him. I smile again. He's beautiful. And he likes me. Me. Despite my anxieties, my awkwardness and well...everything else, Nick likes me just for myself. Kissing him again wouldn't be so bad. Maybe just a small cheek peck? But Nick soon starts mumbling to himself as he wakes up. As he looks around the room, his blue eyes focus on me looking down at him, and a soft chuckle escapes his lips.

"Were you watching me sleep?" He asks, his voice husky. It takes all my willpower to not kiss him right there and then.

"...Maybe. But you looked so peaceful. Who could blame me?" Instead of replying with words, Nick leans up and kisses me again. God, if this is still a dream, I don't ever want to wake up from it. Nick sits up, and his arms go around my back as the kiss deepens.

"Good morning." He whispers once we pull apart. The look he gives me sends my heart into backflips again.

"Morning." I smile. But before we can say anything else, a knock sounds on the door.

"Y/N, are you there? I'm coming in! Just checking if you're okay after yesterday. Nick's not here, so I don't know if he-" The two of us spring apart just as Katie walks into the room. Her eyes go wide as she takes in the sight in front of her...her big sister in bed with the best man.

"Um....morning sis." I smile awkwardly, and Nick gives a small wave from beside me, trying to cover some of his body with the quilt.

"Oh. My. God."

~~~ "I need details immediately. What happened?" Katie asks, eyeing us both as she takes a bite from her toast.

"Katie, I swear we didn't...do it-" Nick begins, but she cuts him off.

"Not you, I mean Y/N." She states. My cheeks flash red.

"Well, uh...Nick came to see I was okay, as you know. And well..." I don't know why I'm so nervous. After all, Katie had said she was okay with me acting on my feelings for Nick, which I had done. And yet, I didn't want to tell her what happened. Maybe because she walked in on us, rather than us telling her ourselves. "We kissed. That's all." She raises an eyebrow.

"That's all? I found you both in bed together at 8am. I mean, you were both fully clothed, but still."

"We just shared a bed, we didn't do anything else." I tell her. I'm not sure if she believes me, but she nods anyway, before going back to munching on her toast. "Anyway. How are you feeling after yesterday? Is everything okay?" I ask. She reaches over the table and takes my hand.

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you for being there for me Y/N. And you Nick. Adam helped too of course. I think I'm starting to put it out of my mind." She smiles. "What, with the wedding and all." Suddenly, her eyes go wide, and she drops the toast onto her plate. "Oh my god. I'M GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEK!" She squeals. I can immediately sense her anxiety levels rising. "I'm...what if...we-" She begins to panic. "And there's the rehearsals and the dinner, and omg I still have to do this and-"

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. We're here to help. And besides, everything's ready to go, we just need to take everything over to the hotel and to the venue before the big day."

"You sure?" She asks, and I nod. Katie takes a deep breath. "You're right. I'm calm. Everything will be fine. We'll show our Dad. We'll make it a party he'll regret missing! I mean, can you believe he wanted to miss it? Idiot." A smile grows on her face, and Nick and I give each other a look, both sensing something is off.

"Uh Katie, are you sure you're okay? We can talk about it if you want." She shakes her head.

"I'm fine. Water under the bridge."

"Katie seriously, if you're still upset, we-"

"NOPE. I'm fine. How could I still be upset when I have THIS!" She waves her arms at us. "Two of my favourite people have found each other and are finally happy! Man, I love love! I love weddings!!! Best time ever. Now come on you two. We have work to do!" She announces, getting up and leaving the room, taking her plate with her.

"Uh...Is she okay?" Nick asks as we watch her go.

"I have no idea. I better keep an eye on her. I'll see you later, okay?" I ask, and he squeezes my hand for reassurance. It's going to be a long day.

~~~

"Seriously sis. I'M FINE." Katie tells me again as we load the garment bags containing our gowns into our bags. "But enough about me. What's Nick like? You know..." I gasp. "Not like that! I mean kissing wise. Was it nice?"

"Yeah, it was really nice." I answer, feeling my cheeks flushing slightly. Katie smiles.

"Maybe we'll be planning your wedding next. Will it be as awesome as mine though? We'll have to see." She winks, organising the bags. Frowning, I open my mouth to say something, but she cuts me off again. "Right, time to load these into the car. Come on sis, let's go!" She calls, picking up a load of bags and walking out of the room with them. I watch her go again. For a moment there, it almost looked like Katie's smile dropped, but she replaced it before I could say anything.

Something definitely isn't right with her.

~~~

As the day continues, and Katie and I finalise final bridal preparations, I can still sense something isn't right. But I don't want to prod her too much, so I let her go on and on about how great the wedding is going to be, and how it's going to be the best party anyone has ever been to. If she's ready to talk to me, she will.

And soon, she does. As we’re carrying boxes to the car, a centerpiece slips out of the box she is carrying, and it lands on the driveway. "I'll get it!" I call, bending down to pick it up. Before I even get back up however, I hear a sniffle from beside me.

"Just leave it. It's stupid anyway. This whole thing is stupid." I snap my head up.

"What do you mean?" I ask, rushing over to her.

"Look. There must be a reason why Dad doesn't want to come to the wedding. Even if I make it a great party, he still won't come. Maybe it's stupid." She sighs, wiping her eyes. Anger rises within me. Our Dad already made me hate myself for twenty one years, and I won't let him do the same to Katie.

"No. It's not stupid. The only reason why Dad doesn't want to come is because he expected us to welcome him back with open arms after what he did, and make him part of our family. And we didn't! He's just too proud to admit that his daughters don't care about him or what he thinks anymore."

"But...I do." She sniffs, and I pull her into a hug. "Even if he doesn't care about me."

"I'm sorry sis. But trust me. He is not worth it. He is not worth ANY of our tears. Years of therapy and trying to learn how to love myself taught me that. And look at us now! We're both happy with people we love and care about around us, and yet he can't even get his two daughters back because we know what a piece of garbage he is. He means nothing to us. If he cared a single iota about us, he would've shown up long before this. And he would have stayed for your wedding. But he didn't." Katie looks up at me, her eyes glistening.

"Maybe you're right about that..." She trails off.

"I am right. Trust me. He is not worth any of your pain. And no. Your wedding isn't stupid. Who was the one who specifically wanted a vintage shabby chic theme for your wedding, even when your planner said it is one of the most basic and popular choices?"

"Me."

"And who has constantly picked things she wanted without letting anyone else change her mind...even Caroline and the bachelorette venue? Or me and this town?" Katie sniffles, and giggles.

"Me!"

"And who's going to have a PERFECT wedding, all by herself, not giving a single fuck about whether or not her Dad is there?"

"...Me?"

"That's right! Because you and Adam picked out everything to please yourselves. Nobody else. So you don't need to worry about pleasing our Dad or making him jealous, because pleasing others is never what you wanted to do. All you ever wanted to do was celebrate your love to Adam. And you'll do exactly that. Dad or no Dad." I tell her. "And besides. I think these centerpieces are beautiful. After all. I helped make them, so I might be biased." Katie laughs again at that, this time a proper, happy laugh. It makes me smile.

"Yeah...yeah you're right. I'm sorry about that. I was probably letting what happened yesterday and my nerves get the best of me."

"It's okay. Hey. How about when we get back home, I give you the number of my therapist? You don't have to go...but maybe it'll do us both good to talk about it with a professional. It’s been really helpful for me so far."

"I'd like that."

"And until then, you know I'm always here for you right?" Katie nods, and we hug again. We both load the box into the car, and head back towards the house. I slip my arm around her waist and pull her in close. Another crisis averted. For now anyway.

"Wait, did you just say that you're in love with Nick?" Katie asks, her eyes wide.

"I said nothing of the sort." I mean, I didn't...it just slipped out. I don't even know how I feel about him. I mean, I like him, of course I do, and I want to see him again after the wedding is over. It's just...I don't know if he wants to see me again. And love is a strong word to use when we only kissed yesterday. And this morning. Still though. It's too soon. "You idiot." A little voice in my head says. "Of course he wants to see you again. He wouldn't have kissed you otherwise. He's not the kind of person to kiss someone and then just ditch them....at least I hope not."

"Look at you blush! You totally did say that!" Katie grins, pointing at my face. "Are you going to tell him?"

"No! Katie I don't even know how I feel yet, or how he feels. And besides, it's not like I have time to think about it, because we're literally leaving the day after tomorrow to go to the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, and then we're staying in the hotel with the rest of the bridal party the night before, remember?"

"Yeah, you're right. But you should give it a think." She says, and I nod. She was right, of course. But I didn't want to think about it. I wasn't ready to consider the possibility that Nick was going to leave me, and that I'd be alone again. I already have to deal with what feels like losing my younger sister to her new family, I can't handle losing Nick too. I mean, I was happy for Katie, of course I was. What kind of monster would I be if I wasn't happy for my little sister getting married after the shit childhood we had? But it had just been the two of us for so long. We lived together for so long, spoke everyday on the phone when we were at university, and we even live about an hour away from each other by train. But now I have to come to terms with the realisation that she might not be living so close to me after she gets married. I know I can't protect her for the rest of her life, and I don't want to smother her...but actually coming to terms with that was hard. God, is this what parents feel like when their kids finally leave the nest? Cause it's shit.

~~~

That night, as I finish packing up my things to take to the hotel before the wedding, I spot a picture of Katie and I the night of her senior prom. Smiling fondly, I pick it up and sit down on my bed, looking down at the picture. There's a knock on the door.

"Come in." I call. Nick opens the door and sits beside me.

"Hey. What'cha looking at?" He asks.

"This is Katie and I the night of her senior prom." I let him look at the picture.

"Oh my god, her dress looks like a marshmallow."

"Hey! I helped her pick that out! It's a very pretty marshmallow. Even if it's bright pink and sparkly."

"Is her dress like this?" He asks.

"No! You'll see it on Friday." I sigh, looking down at the picture. "God, this feels like it was just yesterday, and now she's getting married..." I trail off as tears start to fill in my eyes. Fuck. I can't cry in front of Nick.

"Hey, are you alright?" Nick asks. He gently presses a soft kiss to the side of my head. And that is what sets my tears off. Shit. I mean, Nick has seen me at some of the worst points of my life, and still stayed beside me, but it doesn't mean that I like being so vulnerable in front of him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sniff, wiping my eyes. "It's just been tough, realising that she's growing up and won't be my little sister who's just across the hall from me or an hour away from me anymore. It's dumb, I know. This was always going to happen, I just never thought about it until now." Nick smiles softly.

"I understand. It's not dumb." He gently takes my hand, and I look over at him. God, how is he always SO nice? I swear it's not normal. As I look into his blue eyes, I realise that I’m not ready to say goodbye to Katie...and I’m definitely not ready to say goodbye to Nick either. I’m not ready for this change. "Maybe you should talk to her about it though. I mean, she is your sister, I'm just a friend of hers.”

“Easier said than done." I sigh. “She’s focused on only the wedding right now, and then she’ll be away on her honeymoon early the next morning, so I don’t think I’ll have any time to.” Nick gives me a small smile, and gently rubs my arm.

"Well I hope you do get to speak to her. It sounds important.” His face lights up with remembrance. “Oh! By the way, when you get a chance, can we talk? About...this? About us?" He asks. My heart sinks. This is what I've been worrying about. I can feel my separation anxiety is about to rear its ugly head again. Maybe Nick does want to leave me after this wedding. And then Katie will be gone too, and I’ll be all alone again.

"I mean, we can try, but given that the wedding is literally in four days, it might be too hard to do that." I laugh awkwardly, hoping that he doesn’t pick up on my nervousness. Thankfully Nick chuckles. “We could, uh, talk about it now if you want?” I offer. Nick shakes his head.

“Sorry, but I can’t now. Adam needs me to help sort some stuff in like ten minutes, and then I’m booked and busy for the rest of the week.”

“Same here. But we’ll talk. I promise. You better go help Adam.” I reassure him. Smiling, Nick pecks my lips, and leaves the room. As the door closes behind him, I sigh, trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me. Nick likes me. He keeps kissing me, after all. He must like me. Right? He obviously wants to tell me he wants to see me again. At least, that’s what I hope for. Ever since I was young, I’ve wanted someone to love and to love me back. Someone who wasn’t my family. Someone who wouldn’t leave me...and even though it might be too soon, I think Nick might be that person for me.

I just hope he feels the same.

~~~

Three Days Later: The Night of the Wedding Rehearsal and the Rehearsal Dinner. One Day til the Wedding.

“THAT’S Nick?!” Brooke gasps, pointing over at where Nick is standing, talking to some other groomsmen. “He’s even more attractive in real life.”

“Yup. Isn’t he dreamy?” Katie sighs fondly. We all look over at her. “What, just cause I’m getting married tomorrow doesn’t mean I can’t have one last look. He is nice, isn’t he Y/N?” She asks, wiggling her brows which almost makes me choke on my champagne. All of the bridesmaid’s faces turn to me, some frowning at me. “Oh, didn’t she tell you that she and Nick are totally a thing now?” My mouth drops open, along with the rest of the girls.

“That’s not true, we haven’t even spoken about-” But before I can finish, the officiant clears their throat, encouraging us to take our places for the wedding rehearsal. As Katie and I walk to the beginning of the makeshift aisle, we pass Nick on the way.

“Hey.” He smiles, and my heart almost stops. God he’s gorgeous. He’s wearing a suit, just minus a tie. I can see part of his chest poking through his shirt. If this is how I feel seeing him now, how will I manage to see him in his full suit tomorrow? And the fact we haven’t even managed to speak about our feelings for each other yet wasn’t helping either.

“Hi.” I whisper.

“Good luck with uh...you know. This.” He says. I raise an eyebrow.

“With...walking?” Nick’s face flushes pink, and I hear Katie snigger from beside me.

“Y..Yeah! With walking. And heels and stuff. Don’t want you to break your ankle before tomorrow or anything.” I start giggling, and even Nick lets out a small smile. Even if it’s a bit awkward, it’s still cute, and I appreciate the sentiment.

“I’ll try. Thanks Nick. See you soon.” We both nod, and Katie and I take our positions. Katie is still giving me a look, and I frown. “What?”

“You and Nick! Look at you. It’s so obvious that you two have the hots for each other. Anyone in this room can see it. Even Adam’s parents.” Now I start blushing, and I hiss:

“Okay, we are not talking about this right now, especially not at your wedding rehearsal dinner of all places.” Katie just gives me a wink, and the two of us don’t say anything else as the bridesmaids and groomsmen start to walk down the aisle together. Soon, it’s our turn to go. As we walk down the aisle together, my eyes wander towards Nick. He’s staring at me. Why is he staring at me? God what if I do fall? Shit. Okay Y/N, think of anything BUT Nick.

Nick’s POV

“Why are you staring at her like that?” Adam whispers.

“What? I’m not staring at anyone.” I lie. Adam rolls his eyes.

“Come on man, it’s pretty obvious.” He retorts, before turning back and walking up to receive Katie from Y/N so they can be married. Y/N smiles widely as she mimes handing her sister over to be married, and her smile makes me feel all warm inside. It’s a beautiful smile. It fits her perfectly. Y/N takes her place beside the other bridesmaids, and her gaze catches my eye again. She gives me a small smile, and I smile back. She looks stunning. She’s in a navy lace dress that hugs her figure perfectly. And I just want to rip it off of her. God, I hope she likes me back too. Even though we’ve kissed each other, I still can’t be sure. Y/N’s such a great person, and she deserves someone who can tell her that everyday. And I want to be that person for her. But before I can think of anything else, Adam and Katie suddenly cut into my thoughts:

“And then this is when we get the rings from Nick and do our vows.” Katie explains, and I nod. God, my best friend is getting married to the love of his life tomorrow and all I’m thinking about is how I want to make out with the maid of honour. I need to talk to her about my true feelings as soon as possible. The wedding rehearsal finishes up pretty quickly, but before I can talk to Y/N, she’s swept up by Katie and the rest of her bridal party who leave the room, clearly ready to go to dinner together. I sigh as Adam walks up behind me.

“Come on loverboy. You can talk to her later.” He says. I frown, about to ask him how he knows what I’m thinking about, but he doesn’t respond, and instead gives me a knowing look. “Come on lover boy, we better go.” He orders, walking away with the rest of the groomsmen. I sigh. Hopefully he’s right, and that I can talk to Y/N soon.

~~~

A few hours later

Y/N’s POV

“So.” Vanessa begins, sipping on her wine. We have finished our dinner, and Vanessa, Sam and I are hanging out with each other. “You and Nick, huh?” She raises an eyebrow. My heart rate speeds up, and I gulp down the rest of my wine, already feeling the familiar buzz of becoming tipsy. God, I wish I brought more.

“Uh, what about us?” I frown, trying to feign innocence. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t work. She and Sam scoff.

“He’s been staring at you for the whole night. Actually, babe, is he still looking at her?” She asks Sam. Sam’s head whips around, not subtly at all, and my cheeks flush red.

“Yup, he’s still looking.” She confirms, and goes back to sipping her beer like nothing major was going on. My cheeks now feel like they’re on fire. “Awww, young love.” She smiles. “I remember that feeling, don’t you babe?” Vanessa nods.

“Why don’t you talk to him? He obviously wants to talk to you. Either that, or he’s trying to win a staring contest.” I splutter.

“I can’t talk to him! For one, my sister is getting married tomorrow, so that takes priority, and I don’t even know if he likes me in that way, despite our kiss.” Sam and Vanessa’s eyes go wide. Now I remember why I don’t drink wine. Because I can’t shut up when I do.

“YOU KISSED?!” They gasp in unison. I quickly shush them, but they continue. “Okay, you definitely need to talk to him. Now.”

“But-”

“But nothing. Katie will understand. And don’t be silly, of course he likes you in that way.” They reassure me, gently pushing me in Nick’s direction. “And if he breaks your heart, we’ll deal with it.” They wink, giving me one last push. Why does it feel like I’m being thrown to the wolves? Nick sees me, and he smiles, relief flooding his features. My heart rate speeds up even more. He’s so beautiful. I can do this, right? I just have to go up to him and say:

“Hey, I think you’re extremely attractive, and I want to know how you feel about me, even though we’ve kissed a lot these past few days, and I was wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend?” ....Okay no. No wonder I’ve been single this long if this is what I think classifies asking someone out. Maybe I should just talk to him? Even though it’s easier said than done. I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and start the walk over to him. It might be easier said than done, but I have to do it.

But just as I’m about to reach him, a voice from beside me calls:

“Oh Y/N, dear!” Adam’s mother walks up to me. Oh great. Just what I need. I’ve only spent time with Adam’s mother a few times, probably less than ten times, and she was lovely all those times, but I have more important things to do.

“Hi, it’s nice to see you again, but I actually-” I begin, before she links her arm with mine, and pulls me in the direction of some more aunts and uncles. Oh, this is not good. “Actually, I have to do some-” I start, but she cuts me off.

“I wanted to introduce you to some people. Adam’s great aunt Agnes actually has a question about tomorrow, and I thought you’d be able to help, because you and Katie have done such a wonderful job so far.” That’s nice, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to be able to fix before tomorrow. And I have more important things to do. I look back over at Nick, mouthing the word sorry to him, and he nods, but still looks disappointed. I sigh. There goes that chance to clear things up. Meanwhile, Adam’s mother is still chattering away, and hasn’t even noticed me looking at Nick, or my half assed replies or nods. Thankfully, Katie soon appears in front of us both, announcing that she needs me for important maid of honour duties. I sigh happily. Thank god. “Wait!” Adam’s mother calls before we leave. “I just wanted to say...I know you girls haven’t had a mother figure in your lives for a while, and I just wanted to say that you both have one in me. Even you Y/N. Your sister may be marrying my son, but I love you both as if you were my own. And besides, after tomorrow, we’re family!” She smiles, pulling us both into a tight hug. As she squeezes me tightly, I feel tears stinging at my eyes. Now I feel bad for trying to escape...even though it was so I could confess my love for the best man. “If either of you need anything, I’m here for you okay?” She asks, and we nod. “See you tomorrow.” Katie and I wave, and she leads me away.

“Thanks for saving me.” I whisper. “Now, where did Nick get to?” Katie frowns.

“Nick? He and the rest of the groomsmen left to go back to the house a while ago.” My heart sinks. Dammit. “I was actually coming to get you. It’s time for us to head over to the hotel, and I gotta give you girls your presents!” She squeals excitedly. She leads me outside to a limo, and we get inside, being greeted by the others. Sam and Vanessa look at me expectantly, but I shake my head. They look disappointed, but say nothing. As the car sets off towards the hotel, everyone starts to chatter excitedly and pass around glasses of champagne, while I just stare out of the window. I know my mind should be focused on my sister, and I am excited for her, of course I am...but I just want to see Nick.

~~~ In the Hotel

“Okay, so these are your robes to wear while we’re getting ready tomorrow.” Katie explains, passing them around. “Aaaaand, there’s these too. There’s a little note in each.” She hands each of us a little gift bag. Soon, the room fills with a chorus of ‘awww’ and ‘thank you’. I reach into my bag and pull out a bracelet with a little heart charm. My initials are engraved into the charm. “Read the note.” Katie tells me, and I open it.

“Dear Y/N, aka the best big sister in the world. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve ever done, and continue to do for me. I know I say this to you a lot, but it’s true. I hope to one day repay the kindness you’ve shown me over the years. You’ve been the only person who has supported and loved me throughout our lives. Even though I may not be able to see you as often as usual, I’ll always be there for you. You’ve been the one constant in my life, and our bond is unbreakable. I’m not going anywhere any time soon, and I’m not letting you go either!

Lots and lots of love,

Katie xxx

P.S. Ask Nick out. Please. He won’t shut up about you and to be honest it’s getting annoying.”

With tears stinging my eyes, I immediately pull Katie into a huge hug, which she returns, squeezing me tightly. “I love you so much.” She whispers, as we both start crying in each others arms, and the other girls comfort us as best they can. I was worrying for nothing. Katie was right: our bond is unbreakable, regardless of where we live, and who we’re with.

Whatever happens, she’ll always be my sister, and my best friend.

~~~

The Next Day: Wedding Day.

Small lines of sunlight come through the windows and into the room. The room is silent, aside from a few snores and the occasional mumbling as the girls turn in their sleep. Soon however, the peace is shattered with an excited squeal.

“I’M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!”

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