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tarithenurse · 11 hours
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I'm fucking proud of myself! Hells yeah!
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Yesterday I managed a full shift at work (in patient care) with only one breakdown.
Then in the evening I managed going out for sushi rather than eating at home.
I was freaking drained by the end...but I could do it!
It almost felt like I was "normal" again.
And yeah, ofc I'm tired today. But it was worth it. Is it actual recovery? Was it just a fluke? I don't know but it felt so good.
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tarithenurse · 1 day
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Survived work. Bday sushi later. And then just enjoy being off work until Monday night.
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tarithenurse · 2 days
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Ah. Hm. Well...perhaps I wasn't clear enough back when I wrote this....that plan, the one that might allow the dads to ser her, that's the government's. Use them as bait to lure her in before the government grabs her. Sorry
Spark - 10
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Feels, angst, sadness, conspiring. Maybe I forgot to proof. A/N: Please reblog? Even if it’s not to get tagged. Feel free to ASK (or reblog) for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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10. Charred
…   Konro   …
Age is relative, or at least that’s the cliches old people tend to tell the young ones whenever something sets them apart. Konro has been old for three or four years now, and while he’s felt it physically from time to time due to the tephrosis and fatigue it has never really set him apart from the others in their daily activities. He misses doing his part when it comes to bringing peace to the poor souls that combust, but there are other ways to contribute. The twins see him as a sort of uncle (a role he gladly accepts under condition of adding a bit of responsibility). And Beni…Benimaru is the younger brother and friend anyone would wish for.
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tarithenurse · 2 days
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I love your optimism as much as your comments and reblogs <3
Spark - 9
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Feelings are still on edge despite some stray thoughts. A/N: Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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9. Ashes
…   Reader  …
Sticking to your designated room (the same as last time), you do little to engage anyone for as long as you can that day, but when your stomach starts rumbling, you decide it’s time to show a bit of goodwill and help out in the kitchen.
You find Konro there and quickly get put to work, washing the vegetables before cutting them according to his wishes. The two of you work quietly, Konro radiates a calm that soothes your frazzled nerves and he doesn’t ask any questions.
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tarithenurse · 2 days
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I'll help you out a bit here :)
Yes, she's hiding from the government. She hasn't technically done anything illegal but people with "fire powers" are noramlly trained and employed to deal with the infernals and demons in this post-apocalyptic world. The fact that she can somehow communicate with the demons and infernals is enormous even if she hasn't displayed other powers as such.
Spark - 8
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Someone is angry. But there’s hope for a truce. Maybe. A/N: Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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8. Scorched
…   Reader   …
Your brain protests as you start to wake up. The back of your skull is throbbing, the pain reverberating into the throat as a groan. Blinking blearily, the room begins to come into view with its tatami mats stretching towards wooden walls on all but one side – the remaining consisting of old-fashioned paper panels and a curtain in lieu of a door.
Deja vu.
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tarithenurse · 2 days
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Most infernals are combusting people. But some develop into demonic like beings that are super dangerous. What makes some go that far? No one knows.
Spark - 7
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Just…don’t hate me. A/N: Yeah, it’s a short chapter, but I’ve got the next almost ready. Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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7. Flash fire
…  Reader  …
He is gone the next day, only a few dirty dishes and glasses betraying he ever shared the hide-out with you at all. Not that you’d seen much of him anyways. Any concern that he would have taken advantage of you in one way or another had been thoroughly ridiculed as the man had gone out of his way to grant you privacy.
There’s enough food left for one day, but Joker had made it clear: once you left the place, you wouldn’t be able to use it again which means that something like going for supplies and returning isn’t possible – when you leave, you need to have a plan ready.
What to do?
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tarithenurse · 2 days
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*plays Despacito*
Spark - 6
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Denial. A glimpse into the past and into some hearts. Lack of proofing. A/N: Et voilá. Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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6. Ember
…   Benimaru   …
Wet drops spray the face of the young captain of Company Seven, startling him back to the present where his friend and mentor waits. Konro is meticulously wiping his hands clean of soapy suds, the melancholic eyes hardened with stubbornness.
“What?” Benimaru sighs.
The senior takes his time to clean up the last thing in the kitchen before making them both a cup of tea, and even if Benimaru is getting impatient he knows better than to nag.
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tarithenurse · 2 days
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tarithenurse · 5 days
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A not uncommon scenario in my home...like.. earlier today...
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tarithenurse · 29 days
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Hear ya! But if you're desperate enough...?
Spark - 5
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: A stranger, worrying, semi-stalking. Maybe lack of proofing (can’t remember and my brain is too pre-occupied to do it now). A/N: Had some days where writing was hard, but at least my brain was still plotting. Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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5. Flare
…   Benimaru   …
The moment he steps on to the busy main street, Benimaru is surrounded by locals celebrating that the Infernal has been laid to rest. He catches a glimpse of [Y/N] slipping between the crowd, but pursuit is delayed because every few steps someone wants to thank him or offer him drinks to toast the memory of the soul taken from Asakusa.
Where did she go? The bothersome girl is nowhere to be seen.
Excusing himself repeatedly, the first proof that he’s still on the right track is the aggravated scolding of a shoe-shop owner towards the assistant – it seems a pair of shoes have gone missing. Shortly after, he spots a pair of grey-faded boots, parts of the leather singed and sooty beyond repair. They have been left neatly next to the trash bins down an alley, but as he follows the new path, he reaches a dead end without having found who he’s looking for.
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tarithenurse · 29 days
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I am so so flattered that you read a story of mine from a fandom you aren't familiar with.
Feel free to DM if you have any questions.
Spark - 4
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Humiliation, slight worry, admissions. A/N: Just waaaaiting for the next episode o.O Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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4. Smoulder
Regret. Not full blown, but like a buzzing gnat near your ear as you’re standing in the sand occupying the space between the buildings of Fire Force Company Seven’s station. A handful feet across the enclosed space is the man causing the uncomfortable sensation. I should never have let Konro talking me into staying…let alone give that jerk a chance. Yet here you are, facing off with Benimaru, and you’ll be damned if you back down now.
“Don’t bother about holding back,” he shrugs cockily.
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tarithenurse · 29 days
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I loooove that sort of powerplay in stories 😜
Spark - 3
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: A bad headache. A proverbial olive branch. Tension and arguing. Probably errors due to lack of proofing and second language issues. A/N: Whyyyyy have a gotten hooked on a series that’s still ongoing?!?! Do I never learn?!! Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3
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3. Smoke
Your brain protests as you start to wake up. The entire left side of your skull is throbbing, the pain reverberating into the throat as a groan.
“Ah, you’re waking up.” The man’s voice is quiet, gentle even, but whoever is next to you might as well have been shouting, making you wince. “Sorry…Benimaru did try to hold back, but he’s a strong guy.”
Blinking blearily, the room begins to come into view with its tatami mats stretching towards wooden walls on all but one side – the remaining consisting of old-fashioned paper panels and a curtain in lieu of a door. There’s something comforting about the old traditions, you’ve always found – maybe it’s the scent of cedar, tea, and warm wood – and you almost feel like sinking back onto the futon to surrender to sleep. Almost.
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tarithenurse · 29 days
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She's much kinder than her recent life gives her reason to be. It's been like a decade and she's still caring.
Spark - 2
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Canon compliant themes + more. A/N: After reader’s little sister combusted, reader has been making it from day to day on her own, under the radar. She should never have come to District 7.
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2. Detected
The smoke hurts your eyes and makes your nose sting. Everyone knows how differently fire can smell…except this kind. It’s always the same: a sweetened whiff of barbecue carried on the sulphuric smoke that makes everyone want to scream or gag – preferably both at the same time.
Spontaneous combustion.
Following your nose and the dark pillar of smoke rising towards the otherwise perfect sky, you have to dodge people running the other way as well as the debris from the destruction of both humans and the infernal. Why? There’s no time to stop and ask, but the locals are destroying the nearby houses as if there wasn’t enough devastation already.
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tarithenurse · 29 days
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She was a big girl kidsitting her little sister for juuuuust a moment - maybe her dad had gone to borrow something from the neighbour or was getting something from the grocer at the corner.
Either way: what she thinks is her version of things and as we all know there's always another version from another person.
Thank you for reading 💙
Spark - 1
Yay! A new WiP! ‘Cause who cares about finishing the ones already in progress :P Sooooo…here’s a little preface for it. Reblog or send an ask for tag :)
Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai Chars: Benimaru, fem!reader, Fire Force 7 team, etc Contents: Combustion, trauma, sorrow/mourning, homelesness (for this chapter); canon style themes + probably more (in general).
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1. Flashback
Several years have passed since you left the place you once called home.
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tarithenurse · 1 month
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What did I win?
I am looking for this one very specific art of Itachi Uchiha enjoying a hot spring because I want to get into the vibes of indulging that Itachi into the next chapter of New World.
So if anyone finds it please send it to me?? You will be blessed with lots of love from my agitated readers I promise
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tarithenurse · 1 month
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A little update on my personal situation:
It's going better. Since mid August I've been in a dip which first started out with my usual depression symptoms but then the anxiety flared up too with a lot of selfdoubt and negative thoughts etc etc.
Why?
Oh, I know exactly what the trigger was: hubby got a new job (yay) that has him working in the other side of the country so I only see him weekends (boo). It's an amazing job for him with lovely colleagues, challenges, learning, etc (yay). But it means I'm alone from Monday to late Thursday (boo)...and I do not do alone well. Oh and then there are the weeks where he's off to other countries without coming home in the weekend.
The obvious answer would be to focus on my own work, pick some extra shifts or maybe go be social with people.
That's where the anxiety kicks in: stimuli (noises in particular) and people (apart from a very select few) has me breaking down. I can't work more than 30 hours a week and the day shifts I used to have are hell on earth where I either have to go home early or lock myself up somewhere.
Thankfully I have a good boss. She's helped me change my day shifts to night shifts where it's a lot calmer and quieter and I don't get triggered.
I've also gotten a sort of "special rule" from the public healthcare that means if I call in sick with my chronic illness (depression/anxiety) at least my workplace will be compensated somewhat from the first day sick instead of after two weeks - that means the anxiety about being away from work is less for me because it feels like I'm screwing over my job less.
And so I've spent the time with night shifts, finding a way to keep my marriage working with intermittend long distance, intensified my psychologist appointments and worked (am working) with my new psychiatrist to change and balance my medication.
What has that all led to?
My symptoms of depression are under control. My marriage works (although I miss him often and there always is the fear that he'll find someone better and closer than me (history of cheating by ex)).
But my anxiety is fucked up. It's better...but far from good enough. I can't handle public transportation. I can't handle parts of my family. I can't handle the few dayshifts I do have even if I'm not part of patient care but rather just go around filling up closets etc.
I've had my depression since 2005. The anxiety is fairly new (just a few years) and it's had a tendency to get more severe with each dip. And I don't know how to handle it - at this rate it'll put me out of work in a few years and that thought alone just makes it even worse because I can't have that happen. I don't WANT that to happen.
Okay....I have to stop thinking about that.
My new psychiatrist is good. He listens. I have amazing support from my husband who goes out of his way to call and write when he's gone. I have similarly great support from my mom and one of my sisters, particularly when I'm alone.
........and still it feels so hopeless. The only activity that brings me joy is D&D-related things. I can't write fanfics anymore. I can't draw. I can't go outside my door. I can't go for a cup of tea or dinner with friends. I can't even do grocery shopping. I just get so desperate, y'know?
But...it is BETTER than it was.
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tarithenurse · 2 months
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Either way:
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a boyfriend is basically a guy you can just kind of chew on whenever
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