#burn unit hospital near me

[saiinternationalschool]

Desun Hospital - Best Neuro Hospital

Desun Hospital in Kolkata, India, is dedicated to providing the best healthcare in a clean and safe environment, ensuring efficient and timely medical support.

#best orthopedic hospital in Kolkata #ortho hospital in kolkata #best neuro hospital in kolkata #neurosurgery hospital #best neurological hospital #burn unit hospital in kolkata #burn unit hospital near me #best gastroenterologist in kolkata

[pbsugarbaby]

hurt reader in the hospital. doctor!abby

you had been trying to cook the whole day, trying to prepare a good meal for abby and you. you felt as if you didn’t do enough you should’ve, like you weren’t contributing.

the oven was at a very high temperature as you took out the roasted foods, smiling at the sight of it. but of course you had to screw it up. bumping your arm onto one of the hottest pieces of metal, you yelped. “fuck!”

that’s what got you sitting in one of the burn units, bandage wrapped around your arm. “that was a bad burn, could’ve gotten bad if you didn’t show up. let me go grab the stuff you gotta take home, okay?” the nurse walked out.

while the lady in scrubs walked around and grabbed a tiny bottle of medicine and some wrap, she saw abby in her office. the nurse peeked in, “hey, your girls in the burn unit. room 302, if you wanted to know.”

abby didn’t care to hear if it was horrible or not at that moment, she was just afraid of her girlfriend being hurt. she rushed down to the unit, bursting through the door. praying you weren’t laying on the bed with like— burns around your body or anything.

“my god! what were you doing?” the blonde scoffed and grabbed your arm, scanning over the bandage that was wrapped around the skin. she was relieved it wasn’t severe, but also not.

you laughed slightly at her protectiveness. “just trying to cook us dinner. it looks really good! i packed it up before i left—“ she cut you off, looking at her girl with furrowed brows.

“thank you, but god you’re not allowed near the kitchen again.” your jaw dropped in offense. “hey! i just.. lightly grazed my arm against the oven.”

“yeah, look what that earned you, a fuckin’ fourth degree burn. gosh..” you laughed at her over dramatic statement.

“it’s actually second but—“

“shut up.”

if u have sent a request i’m probably working on it! i’m so sorry for not posting guys ill get to it soon, im just really busy. also inspired by zombholic!

#🎀 ⋆·˚ ༘ * #𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚'𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬. #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson tlou2 #doctor!abby

[girlactionfigure]

OTD  2006, a 23-year-old French-Moroccan Jew by the name of Ilan Halimi was brutally murdered for simply being Jewish. 

ה׳ יקום דמו 🕯️

His killers, a gang that went by the name of Les Barbares or “the Barbarians”, kidnapped Halimi, held him hostage for 24 days before burning him alive and dumping his body near a train station in the Paris suburb of Saint-Genevieve-de-Bois. Halimi was found alive by a local, still fighting for his life, with 80 percent of his body deformed and disfigured by acid burns, an ear and toe cut off and his genitals mutilated. He died on his way to the hospital. 

During the investigation, key members of the group confessed that they believed that all Jews are rich, which motivated them to target Halimi, although he came from the same lower-class, Parisian suburb as the abductors did. The abductors also threatened the Halimi family to send money from the “Jewish community” and “rabbis” if they could not afford the 450,000 euro ransom. 

This instance of the re-emergence of old antisemitic canards associating Jews with money and power demonstrates the lethality of bigotry towards Jews. 

The aftermath of the Ilan Halimi case unfortunately only gained French national attention. Reactions from the global community were scarce, with only the United States Helsinki Commission holding a briefing recognizing the omnipresence of antisemitism in the modern world. 

While all those directly implicated in the abduction of Halimi were sentenced to heavy dues for their crimes, a Halimi relative quotes, “The important thing for me is not handing out heavier jail terms, honestly. The important thing is to open this to the press and public and make it a learning experience”. Unfortunately, when the world sits silently as Jews are murdered overtly, clearly the world holdsno intention for a lesson to be learned.

The cases of the murder of Mireille Knoll, Sarah Halimi (no relation) and others that followed Ilan Halimi’s serve to prove that lethal antisemitism is very much alive in France today. 

May his memory be a blessing

#jewish #ilanhalimi #onthisday

[levans44]

Apartment #3 - Chapter 1

pairing: steve rogers x undercover!reader

warnings: 18+ SMUT*, Neighbors to Friends to Lovers, lots of angst, heavy mutual pining, hurt/comfort, eventual smut/romance/fluff

summary: as an undercover agent at SHIELD, her newest assignment involves moving in across the hall from her target. she's strictly ordered to keep her distance—no personal contact besides the absolutely necessary. the only issue? her new target neighbor turns out to be Captain America.

excerpt:

Jessica Grace Parker December 4th, 1989 569 Leaman Place Apt. #3, Brooklyn, NY 11201 Registered Nurse NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital

It’s the undercover alias she’s been assigned as a member of SHIELD’s Special Operations unit. The mission objective was rather simple—monitor the target and report updates as necessary.

She’s gone undercover more than a dozen times, so it’s not the details of the assignment or the temporary relocation she’s concerned about.

It’s just that her target was well… more unusual than most.

author's note: an idea that's been living in my head ever since steve asked sharon for that cup of coffee in their apartment hallway. as a SHIELD agent, the reader's real name has been [REDACTED] to preserve anonymity.

masterlist

A thick manilla folder slaps onto Nick Fury’s desk, landing with a sharp ‘splat’ on the glass table.

“You can’t be serious, Nick. A nurse? Really?” 

She’s huffs out a breath, a dramatic eye roll and a hand on her hip just to articulate the pointed look she was giving him. 

A sharp, one-eyed stare trails up from the folder to meet her gaze, immediately sending a shiver of regret down her spine. To her surprise, her boss glances off to the side, letting her off with a disapproving sigh. 

“It’s just a temporary measure, agent.”

“Yeah? Until when?”

“Until we can confirm that he’s appropriately adjusted to civilian life.”

She snorts, sauntering over to the leather couch near the window, just a few feet away from where Fury’s sitting, and plops down with a loud ‘thud.’

“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.”

She huffs out a breath, feeling the burning stare of her boss out of the corner of her eye. A small pause before he rustles, shifting in his seat. When he speaks, there’s a  slightest tinge of challenge in his voice, lips quirked up in a smirk. 

“Are you saying you’re not up for the challenge, [REDACTED]?”

Asshole. Always knew how to push all the right buttons.

She sighs, running her hand through her hair as she tosses her head over the back of the couch. 

“But Nick, civilian life? For a guy with that kind of history?”

Then, a sly smile and a slight wiggle of her brows because Nick Fury’s not the only one with game around here. Swiveling around in her seat, she tosses an arm around around the back of the seat and licks her lips. 

“…come on, Nick. What aren’t you telling me?”

And as if he knows she would coax the answer out of him eventually, he gives in rather quickly, dropping his shoulders with a quiet sigh. He leans back in his chair, folding his hands over his lap.

“He’s been refusing SHIELD-commissioned housing. Insists on staying at his own place in the city.”

Her entire body perks up with renewed interest.

So that’s why Fury’s so desperate. A clearance level 10 agent let loose in the concrete jungle? Talk about a PR nightmare. 

Convincing one of SHIELD’s greatest, and most famously stubborn, agents to live under round-the-clock company surveillance was no easy feat.

But bringing that round-the-clock surveillance to said agent by deploying a secret undercover mission? 

That. That was so classically Nick Fury she found it all a bit amusing, concerning, and ingenious at the same time. The plan was smart (albeit a little controlling, no doubt about that), so she had agreed to read the mission brief she had thrown on Fury’s desk despite the fuzzy outlines of its morality. Besides, she figured, SHIELD protection would ensure the safety of the agent and that of the city (and, of course, it would be her and Fury’s ass on the line if the whole independent housing thing went haywire).

“Well, wouldn’t exactly blame him for wanting to move away from your warm embrace.” She murmurs, picking nonchalantly at her nails. 

Fury’s eyebrows raise disapprovingly at her second smart-ass remark of the hour, volume rising by a hair.

“Should I be looking to reassign the mission, then?” 

The corner of her mouth twitches, because she already knows her answer. Lets a small pause wash over the room anyway, just to watch the scar over his eyebrow twitch. 

“Ugh, all right, all right. I’ll do it.” She groans dramatically, bouncing up from the couch, and snatches up the abandoned file back from his desk.

She turns around, sauntering out of Fury’s office the same way she had stormed in.  Reaching the doorway, she stops, swiveling around with a hand on the metal frame.

“But really, Nick, a nurse? That the best you could come up with?”

Fury rolls his eyes, but she doesn’t miss the small smile that breaks across his face as he ducks, hiding it with a gruff hand. 

“Strategies thought it might be a good idea. His mother being a nurse and all.”

She throws her head back, an incredulous laugh echoing across the room. 

“What kind of fucked-up Freudian logic is that?”

Fury sighs, giving her a look, though they’re both smiling at this point. 

“…just to be clear, I’m not gonna fucking mother him.”

She raises a pointed finger in his direction.

“Oh I know you’re not, agent. Your primary directive is to maintain minimal contact with him. Nothing over what’s absolutely necessary. You’d know that, if you had actually read the mission brief.”

“Aaand that’s my cue.” She murmurs, giving Fury a playful salute and quickly shutting the door behind him before he gets a chance to protest. 

Once outside, she lets out a quiet breath, sliding her newly assigned credentials out from the thick pile of paperwork. A fake drivers license and nurse ID card, freshly laminated and perfectly glossy. 

Jessica Grace Parker December 21st, 1989 569 Leaman Place Apt. #3, Brooklyn, NY 11201 Registered Nurse NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital

It’s the undercover alias she’s been assigned as a member of SHIELD’s Special Operations unit. The mission objective was rather simple—monitor the target and report updates as necessary. 

She’s gone undercover more than a dozen times, so it’s not the details of the assignment or the temporary relocation she’s concerned about. 

It’s just that her target was well… more unusual than most.

She opens the folder, slipping her identification cards back into their slot. Her eyes then trail over to the top of the page, where the personnel file of her mission’s target stares up glaringly.

Steven Grant Rogers July 4th, 1918 569 Leaman Place Apt. #4, Brooklyn, NY 11201

Apartment #3 Masterlist

#mcu #mcu fic #marvel #marvel fic #marvel cinematic universe #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfic #avengers #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america #captain america smut #captain america x reader #captain america fanfiction #captain america fic #captain america x you #reader insert #smut #fluff #friends to lovers #mutual pining #romance #eventual romance #eventual smut #hurt/comfort #hurt/angst #angst #so much angst #marvel smut

[theroadtofairyland]

Steve (Steven) Metzler (1925-2024) was born on June 10, 1925 in Deda, Romania. He grew up in a Hasidic family and experienced extreme antisemitism prior to the Holocaust including being beaten and called “Christ killer” in the first grade. When the German army arrived in his town, his family were made to house two soldiers, one of whom offered to help them escape. Steve’s father rejected the offer and within a month, all of the Jews in the area were forced into the Oradea ghetto. Shortly after arriving at the ghetto in May of 1944, Steve and his family were brought to the trains on June 1.

Their train ride spanned four to six days and some of the elderly individuals on the train realized it was heading to Auschwitz based on the towns they rode through. The train arrived at Auschwitz-Birkenau on June 6 where everyone deboarded and were immediately forced into a selection line where Steve saw his mother for the last time as they were separated and she was ushered toward the crematorium. After selection, Steve, along with many others, were told to strip naked, had all of their hair cut off, were sprayed with disinfectant, tattooed with their prisoner number, and were marched to their bunks. Steve was selected to work with a roof repair group, which provided him the ability to observe the extent of operations at the camps. During his time at Auschwitz-Birkenau, Steve witnessed many atrocities first hand. He was forced to watch hangings of other prisoners in the evenings and saw German Shepherds being set upon other prisoners. In August of 1944, during another selection, Steve knew that he was not well enough to pass and jumped out of a second story window to hide in another bunk room while selection occurred. Near the end of 1944, Steve and his work group were driven to the Birkenau crematorium. Upon arrival they were informed that they would not be getting gassed and burned, but instead were there to drill holes for dynamite to destroy the building. Steve, along with the prisoners of Auschwitz-Birkenau were evacuated on January 15, 1945 and began a death march.

He marched for two to three months before his group arrived at a makeshift concentration camp in a large field deep in Germany. They began the march with 16,000 people and arrived with 300. His group was forced to dig ditches around a German airfield, but he knew that for his health he would have to escape before the next march. One night, he crawled under the fence to a river, crossed several irrigation ditches, and found an abandoned barn where he waited for eight days before being liberated by the United States Armed Forces.

After liberation, he had dysentery and was brought to a hospital where he was also confirmed to have tuberculosis. He spent two years at a sanatorium in Haunstein, Germany. In 1950, Steve arrived in America and subsequently settled in Denver, Colorado. He worked in electronics repair and construction before retiring and getting into the art business. He has a daughter and two grandchildren.

Source-

This is the Great Uncle, quasi-grandfather, that just passed. News didn't get to me immediately. I don't have any family photos and cliped his bio from a Holocaust rememberence project because I don't trust myself to tell it right.

His grandson made a movie about going back to his hometown for the first time since 1944. Everyone except the old people in the film are vaguely annoying but Steve tells several of his stories that are so engaing but this is the one I think is most riveting. It's the story of his escape. Setting it up slightly, he's crawled under barbed wire, he has dysentary and tuberculousis and of course severe malnourishment. He slides his body into a irrigation ditch which has water in it.

#not art #shoah #holocaust #history #Youtube #jewish history

[chimcess]

→ Chapter Six: Beside Him Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 17.7k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the north and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: Injured characters, death, PTSD, flashbacks, self-hatred, guilt, ANGST, hurt/comfort, strong language, scars, sexism, virginity mentioned, sex mentioned, kissing, groping, arguments, mood swings, emotional outbursts, mentioning of su*c*dial thoughts (in passing and not seriously), toxic views on love, new characters introduced, hospital scene, near death experiences leave people messed up, conflicting feelings, I love writing these characters so much, Callisto is my sweet baby angel, anything else might spoil, let me know if I missed something A/N: Even if there’s not too many people interested in it, this fic is my comfort piece since I know everyone so well. I love writing for this world, and I never want it to end (but it will one day, sadly). Sigh, at least we still have plenty of adventures to go on first.

prev. || masterlist || next

Opening my eyes, I could feel just how tired my arms were. Every inch of my body was heavy and weighed down by some invisible force. Looking around me, I knew that I was in some sort of medical setting. Surrounded by bodies, I closed my eyes once more and breathed a sigh of relief. 

I was alive. I was free. I made it.

Moans of pain filled the room, but I could not figure out where they were coming from. Everyone else was either quiet or talking in hushed whispers with their loved ones. I opened my eyes again. There was no one at my bedside.

Forcing myself up, I groaned in agony as I did so. My head still had some dull aches, and my bones cracked and popped with each movement I made. Glancing around, I did not see a familiar face in sight. I could only hope it was due to others being too busy to stay holed up in the medical unit with me and not because far more serious tragedies had been met.

Twisting and turning, I slowly stretched and relaxed the tense muscles in my body. The headache lingered, but it became more bearable as the time went by. The woman beside me woke up a few minutes later. Most of her body was scarred from burns. She had been caught in a fire when she was evacuating her children from the village. 

“You’ve been here for two days now,” The woman coughed, her voice like crushed cement.

“What happened?” My throat was dry, and I wished I could find a glass of water. “I got back after the elves left,” I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms a second time, “What’s your name?”

“Do-yun,” She gave me a strained smile, and I asked if she would like for me to help her feel better. “No, thank you. You have done more than enough, Bridd.”

Guilt ate me alive as I eyed her burnt, red, peeling skin. Do-yun was wrong. I had been too cowardly to do everything I could. There was no way she could have known that, and it made my self-hatred grow. What would have happened if I had told Jimin what had been bothering me?

“Bridd?” Do-yun called out, concern written on her face.

I smiled weakly, unable to meet her eyes anymore, “Sorry. I got stuck in my head.”

She nodded at me, and I knew she would understand. Many in the village would be able to feel what I have felt for years. Her burns served to remind me of my own responsibility in this and I wanted to vomit. Disgusted with myself, I came to the horrific realization that their nightmares were my fault. When Do-yun cried, her screams bouncing off her bedroom walls, and her skin covered in a faint sheen of sweat I knew without a shadow of a doubt that their sleepless nights were because of my own failing. 

“The elves haven’t come back,” I struggled to hear her small voice. “The Elders said they’ve moved to Northorn and are making their way back south. Alpha Jimin thinks they wanted to weaken our defenses before invading the north, and Alpha Taehyung agrees with him.”

I was glad to hear they were doing well. The last time I had seen both of them they were in one piece, but things could change in two days. The fact that Jimin was well enough to have war meetings only made my heart that much lighter. Do-yun seemed pleased by my reaction and I was afraid I had been caught. The woman winked but did not say anything more.

“That would make sense,” I nodded.

Testing the waters, I went to stand and smiled at my small victory. My body had recovered nicely from the magical drain. It would have taken much longer before. I guessed it had something to do with the power that had been taken from me. I was able to regain it much better now. Looking down at the woman, I frowned.

“Are you sure I can’t help you?” I asked.

She shook her head, “It’s a sign of honor to have lived. I will wear the pain and scars with pride.”

My own scars came to mind, and my frown deepened. I had never thought of them that way. My thoughts then shifted to Shiloh, and it almost brought me to my knees. I never got the chance to say goodbye. Pushing my tears away, I told myself that I would give myself time to grieve later.

“Have you seen Jimin recently?” I asked her, willing my voice to stay calm.

She smiled at me, the side of her face that was burned far too tight and red to lift with the other. She had a beautiful smile once, and I felt rage like I never had before. I wished I could rip apart the elf that had made this happen to her. 

“He’s here most of the time,” Do-yun replied. “Taehyung called upon him this morning for an important meeting. He should be back soon.”

“Thank you,” I eyed the woman again and felt the need to ask, “Are your children doing well?”

“Yes,” Her smile widened, and her face tensed making it look more like a grimace, “They’re with their father trying to get our home put back together.”

“How bad is it?”

Do-yun sighed, “Tae-moo says there’s hardly anything left. Apparently, your friends have been talking with other witches in Moland and Syrena to come here and help but Elder Bo has been giving them hell about it.”

I huffed in annoyance. If there was ever a time and place to put your pride to the side, it would be here and now. Those witches would be a Godsend to this village, and I could tell Do-yun was unhappy about this. Taehyung’s word would override the other councilman, but I doubted he would want to cause arguments during a time of war. Jimin would have to put his foot down in order to get anything done and I had a feeling the other alphas would be on his side.

“She’s lost her daughter, so I try to be understanding of her poor decisions,” Do-yun frowned, “But I can’t pretend to be thrilled about them. If witches want to help, then they should- tradition be damned.”

“I guess she is not happy about my being here then?”

Do-yun shook her head, “We are supposed to act like nothing was said, but she was unhappy to hear about you and Jimin’s courtship.”

So, the village knew of our relationship. I sighed and sat down on my cot. I did not believe Jimin would have been happy with the woman right now, and I had to be careful with who I spoke with. I did not know how people reacted to the news or how much faith they had in our connection. 

“Most of us can’t understand why she’s so angry,” Do-yun grinned at me. “Truth be told, we are all blessed to have such strong women in the council, but Bo holds onto the belief that wolves cannot love another more than a wolf.”

I hated to agree with Bo, but she was not incorrect. A pair of wolves shared a connection unlike anything else and once mated they felt every feeling one another held. They became one. I did not know enough about different hybrid couplings to understand the complexity of the bonds that were held between them, but I knew from my own experiences that Jimin did not hero-worship me the same way he would have a woman from his pack. It bothered me but I was confident enough in our connection to let the jealousy go.

“So, she doesn’t think our bond is real?” I scoffed with an eye roll. 

Do-yun chuckled, “She and a select few but no one is listening to them. All of us are grateful to you and the others for coming here and giving up so much for our people.”

I nodded and made up my mind to go and look for anyone else that could still be in the ward. I asked her about Thelma and Yoongi, but she paid little mind to the witches. They had been gone by the time she had come to. Settling on finding my friends first, I began the treacherous task of walking through the bodies.

“See you soon, Oxur Park,” I smiled weakly and waved goodbye.

Many were badly injured, missing limbs, or burned beyond recognition. Some children had gone blind from spells, others were paralyzed and being worked on constantly by the Quietus in order to reverse it, and some were so badly injured they were only receiving pain relief until they died. It became too hard to look at and so I stopped. Staring straight ahead, I forced myself from looking down at the cots littered around me.

“I’m happy you’re awake,” said a voice from behind me.

I turned with great care and found Cadoc standing there. The shadow surrounding him was gone now and replaced by gentle white smoke that danced. It was shocking just how different he looked when he was fighting. Now, his skin had life and flushed in the sun, the pale color less like marble, and his eyes were the color of sapphires. His hair was still midnight and hung just at his shoulders. It danced in the breeze that surrounded him. He smiled at me.

“Cadoc,” I greeted him, unable to return his enthusiasm. “I’m happy to see you.”

He approached me cautiously and began to look over my body. His hands felt like a gentle breeze in the fall, his fingers as soft as leaves, and I could hardly feel any pressure as he methodically went over me. I was appreciative of the caution, and I belatedly realized that I was unaware of what had happened to me. I could have been injured without realizing it. Maybe I was not free to leave after all.

“You seem fine,” He said, his strange echoing voice all the same. “I would refrain from any and all magic use unless necessary.”

I nodded obediently.

“Thank you again,” I managed a small grin. “I appreciate you coming to my aid in the field.”

He nodded at me, “You saved my life. I thought it was only fair.”

Nodding, I turned away.

“Before you leave,” He called out. I turned back around. “Sam would like to see you. I think she’s quite fond of you.”

This time, I smiled.

“After I see my loved ones, I’ll be sure to make some time for her.”

Cadoc chuckled, “Goodluck. My sister is not known for her patience. My condolences to your family over the loss.”

I nodded, looking at the grass under my feet. Suddenly images of fire and black spots in the grass replaced the fresh green beneath my feet. There was screaming and flashes of white running away from the village. My hands were cold and heavy and when I blinked my eyes, I saw a face before the vision was gone. Gasping for air, I placed a hand over my chest to steady my breathing. 

Oh, Wendy would be completely beside herself. I knew I needed to get to them quickly. We should be together right now. Oh my God, Cordelia.

“Was it only the woman?” I asked, sniffling, and hoping he would know what I meant.

“She was the only one who died,” He replied. “Your friend is blind, one was badly injured and is still receiving care, and another was burned on her leg.”

“Who’s here?” I demanded, looking back up. I wanted to see them before I left.

“His name is Tae-jin, I think.”

My eyes closed on their own. I needed to get to Seokjin and make sure he was alright. His mother had to be in hysterics by now. Torn between seeing Tae-jin and going to comfort his family, my body moved on its own to go back into the tent. A hand on my arm stopped me.

Cadoc was pressed very closely against my body, his strange figure formed around my own, and I had to suppress a shiver. He was ice cold. I felt his lips brush against my ear as he whispered, his body far too close to mine. Within a second, he completely vanished from sight.

“They’re here.”

I turned my head towards his mouth, waiting for him to say more.

He elaborated, “I’m not sure who it is, but there’s someone in this village working with the elves.”

“How do you know that?” My voice was hardly audible, lips unmoving.

“I’ll explain later.”

I nodded. We were not in the best place for this conversation. Pulling away from his embrace, I pulled a face to make my pause look less suspicious. It was not difficult to look heartbroken when all I saw was devastation. What felt like fingers grazed my cheek.

“Meet me in your meadow tonight,” He urged.

I nodded my head once. Seemingly satisfied with my answer, the cold chill that surrounded me was gone. Pushing the conversation to the back of my mind, I started walking once more. Whatever the Quietus was talking about would have to wait until I saw everyone alive and well. At least, well enough that they would live.

I found Tae-jin a few minutes later after asking anyone who was well enough to guide me to his cot. He was still asleep, a large gash on his face that was red and raised, but I was happy that his breathing was normal. I was sure he would wake up and be alright, but the scars from that night would haunt all of us forever. Cordelia’s face came to me again and I shivered. I could only hope that would be our only fall- it was the only one the witches could handle. I looked at him for a few minutes more before turning to leave the medical tent. I had a family who needed me right now and I would have to trust that the team here would be enough for Tae-jin. 

Stepping into the daylight, I was shocked by the desolation. Everything had been destroyed. Not a single building had been left in-tact and I knew many of the villagers would be unable to fix their homes. They were far too injured. Choking back a sob, I reminded myself of what I needed to do. I could fall apart later, right now my family needs me to be strong. 

Eyes followed me with rapt attention as I passed a small group of villagers. I recognized none of them, but I assumed they knew who I was. I never was able to learn the names of the wolves in the village outside of the ones I had helped through the change. The women were older, rounder, and probably no longer shifted if I had to guess. Looking ahead, I pointedly ignored them. I had no time for local gossip.

“They’re in the Park house,” One of the women called out. Looking at the group once more, I straighten my back. None of them were unkind, in fact, I could only find grief in their eyes. I did not know who they lost, but I hoped they would be able to recover. “It’s the only house left down the main road to your right. Be careful, there’s a lot of debris.”

I nodded, “Thank you.”

“No,” Another woman cried, her eyes as red as her sunburnt face. “Thank you. The one called Cadoc told us what you did. We are forever in your debt.”

I smiled at the group sadly before walking away. The praise did not feel nice. It should have, but it did nothing to settle my unease. None of this should have happened. I should have said something. I cringed at that thought and stopped walking to pull myself together. Not here. Not now. Later.

The house was easy to find. Surrounded by ashes and uninhabitable houses, the Park home stood as a shining beacon of hope within it all. Of course, the little house was worse for wear. The entire yard had been scorched by the flames that surrounded it, most of the walls burnt and weak, and there was a hole where you could see straight through into the home. I could see Seokjin sitting at a table with Wendy in his lap. They were talking but I was still too far away to hear anything. 

Deciding to use the front door, I frowned at the burnt wood. The house must have been the last one to go up in flames. I knocked and waited. Inside, everything stilled, and a singular set of steps echoed. I braced myself for an onslaught of hugs and kisses from everyone, the never-ending tears, and having to keep myself in one piece. I was expected to know what to do, how to behave, and I would do whatever I needed in order to calm everyone inside.

Callisto answered the door. Her eyes were heavy with bags underneath them and her chocolate hair clipped back messily. Despite her obvious exhaustion, her blue eyes lit up as she took me in. Unexpectedly, she threw her arms around my neck and cried out in what sounded like relief.

“Oh, thank Goddess,” She cried, her voice thick with emotion. “My brother will be so happy to see you. Oh, we were so worried.”

Hesitantly, I hugged the young girl back. She was so small and underweight I felt uncomfortable holding her too tightly. I could imagine her bones were just as frail as she was. She was off of me as quickly as she scooped me into her arms and took my hand in hers as if we had known one another for years. She made my presence known so cheerfully I felt embarrassed. No one had been this excited to see me in my entire life.

“Bridd,” It was Wendy, her eyes wild, who spotted me first. 

I ran to her immediately. The sea witch crumbled in my arms, sobs making her entire body shake as she held onto me for dear life. Her hair had been cut, the blonde strands ending at her shoulders instead of flowing down her back, and I could still feel how dirty they were. She was frail, every bit as shaken as I felt, and seemed frenzied in her attack. I did not know if I should tell her that I had been the one to find Cordelia or not. I thought of her face again, her green eyes with their thousand-yard stare, and a flash of red broke through. Her hair had always been ostentatious, frizzled and going every which way with a curtain of bangs that hid a fair amount of her face. That night they were caked in dirt, the orange glowing red under the fire, and stuck to her skin like leather. I shivered and held Wendy tighter. I prayed she had never seen her mentor like that.

“She-she-” She gasped, her pain piercing my heart.

“I know,” I croaked, running my fingers through her hair in an attempt to calm her. “I know, Wendy Byrd.”

Looking over her shoulder now, I was pleased to see the rest of the witches huddled around a small fireplace. All of them looked at us now aside from Yoongi. His eyes were unfocused still and I remembered Cadoc telling me he was still blinded. Whispering to Wendy, I slowly removed her vice grip around my neck so I could go to them all. Seokjin was standing beside us and took her from me easily. He patted my head with his large hand and held the broken woman close. She was falling apart right before my eyes, and I would not be able to comfort her. I would surely fall apart, too.

I went to Hoji first. Her husband was ill in the medical tent, and I was sure she was frazzled. Seokjin would be too busy mourning the loss of our friend to fuss over his father, especially since we all knew it was a matter of time before he woke up. Cordelia would never wake up. She was so heavy. I shuddered and adjusted the shirt I was wearing. I was practically naked still and I frowned at the state I was in. I was still not wearing any undergarments or pants and the shirt Samanya had given me was covered in soot.

Heji reached out to me from beside her sister and smiled sadly. They had always looked the same, their faces virtually indistinguishable, but this moment they were the same woman to me. They were haunted, their eyes dull and sorrowful, and there would be no one to keep the other in check. No sarcastic comments followed by a gentle chastising. Right now, they were one woman mourning a shared loss. 

Yoona was at her son’s side and pointed me in Thelma’s direction. Taking a look at Yoongi, he was hurt and sad, but I was not sure what else could be happening inside of his head. His eyes had always been so expressive. I nodded at her and went to the woman beside her. Enver was missing from the group, and she whispered that he was asleep.

“Thank you,” Thelma whispered fiercely, almost like she was afraid of talking any louder. “You kept him away from the brunt of it all.”

I nodded but said nothing. Thelma did not reach for me like the others. She was never one to rely on comfort, but I knew how devastated she was. Cordelia was a good friend of hers, one she had known for many years, and she was not there to help her. Thelma had a self-blaming streak. I would talk with her later but for now I was content with letting her feel however she wanted.

I thought of Shiloh again and sighed heavily. I was so angry with myself for not getting a proper goodbye. I missed her so dearly, so acutely, and I could feel the hole in my heart she left with her leaving. I would again have no closure. Unlike Aldara, however, Shiloh and I had fought together fiercely and made our peace in the forest. She was safe and back where she belonged. It gave me little comfort.

“Y/N?” Yoongi called out, raising a hesitant hand.

I was at his side quickly. He looked so much younger right now. I reached out and took his hand in my own.

“I’m here, Yoon.”

Reaching out his other hand, I took it with ease. Another oddity. Yoongi never offered physical affection like this before. Looking at his face I frowned. I guess he had no choice at the moment. I squeezed them comfortingly.

“Are you alright?” His mother asked, squeezing my shoulder. “We were worried, but Cadoc said you’d be fine with rest.”

I nodded but spoke for Yoongi’s benefit.

“I’m fine,” I whispered. I understood Thelma’s hesitance to break the silence. It could bring more unknowns and that was a frightening idea. “Physically speaking. I don’t really know outside of that.”

Yoongi’s grip on my hands tightened.

“How are you feeling, Yoon?” I asked him.

He shook his head, “I’m scared.”

I inched closer to him. Our knees touched, both of us kneeling on the floor, and I took one of my hands back. I smoothed down his bedhead and caressed his cheek. He reminded me of the little boy from the meadow who cried when he saw bees. I felt the tears falling from my eyes and surrendered to my pain. I could cry, if only a little bit, right now. Yoongi would always catch my tears.

“Me too,” I admitted, voice so soft I was not sure if anyone heard me.

“Thelma told us about your visions,” I heard Hoji say. “We’re all sorry you had to deal with this alone.”

I shook my head, the force of my guilt rearing its ugly head.

“I saw nothing. I knew something bad was happening, but I was blind and stupid. I should have said something. I should have-”

“We are all responsible,” Thelma interrupted. “I take full responsibility for you keeping your mouth shut. It was my choice to do so because of my own misplaced biases. I should have known better than to assume anything.”

“And we all knew you were lying about Aldara’s book,” Yoona chimed in. “All of us knew you were hiding something. If we’re playing the blame game, then you can charge us all.”

“But Cordelia,” I choked.

“It’s not your fault,” Wendy cried, her voice small and weak. “Those things-” she snarled, “-killed her. Not you.”

Turning to look at her, I knew I was doing a horrible job at keeping everything at bay. My heartache was too much, and everything felt like it was closing in on me. I would have to tell Jimin that I lied to him. I’d have to tell him his village was in ruin because of me. I’d have to become a traitor now. Taehyung might as well throw me to the elves because of my mistakes. And yet, I knew they would not. Taehyung would be understanding, his comfort a warm blanket around me. Sol would be happy it led her mate back to her and so things would naturally become alright between us. Jimin adored me, but would he be able to look at me the same way?

“The elves were coming,” Hoji said, her voice frail and hoarse. “They would have attacked regardless of you telling these people anything. It wasn’t like any of you were on good terms. God knows those wolves would have had a fight on their hands.”

I tried to let the words sink in and ease my guilt. It never happened. Having had enough of this pity party, I took a deep breath and readied for my next plan. I had to see Jimin, and he was with Taehyung at the palace.

“I’m going to check on the others,” My voice was stronger than I felt. “I came here straight away, and I think Jimin will worry if he sees me missing.”

Thelma nodded, “Will you be back?”

“I will try to be back tonight,” I assured her. “If not then first thing tomorrow morning.”

“And we will talk,” Jin’s voice was hard, but his eyes only held grief. 

He was someone I owed the biggest apology to. I had not given him the benefit of the doubt, and like Thelma, I let my own biases make decisions for me. If I had been more honest with the people around me then maybe I could have come up with a better plan. Maybe Cordelia wouldn’t be dead, a voice hissed at me. I swallowed the bile in my throat and nodded at Jin.

“Be safe, Birdie,” Yoongi whispered, and I sucked in a harsh breath.

It had been years since he had called me that. My lower lip wobbled, and I hugged my friend tightly. Maybe if I had done more than he would be able to see me crying into his neck. His fingers played with the tattered cotton at my neck, and I crumbled when he rested his head against my shoulders.

“You should change before you leave,” I jumped back at the sound of Callisto’s bell-like voice. “Come. Our socrus might have something that could fit you, but if not I’m sure Ji-Hyun will be fine to give up something of his.”

Moving out of the living area, my mood only dropped as I saw how destroyed the house was. It was hardly standing, and I wanted to get it back up as soon as possible. Enver would have fun helping me out, but it would have to wait. I would bring it up when I came back later.

“The water is out,” Callisto looked back at me, “But we live very close to the stream. We will go and wash up there and come back to get dressed.”

I nodded. I admired her tenacity and the brightness her eyes still held. It was impossible to know if I was right or not, but I would like to think that she was stronger than I was. Callisto was so strong she would look in the mirror and only want to get rid of the pests that caused this, and she would never close her eyes and smell smoke sticking to her clothes. I would never ask but if she did, I was sure I would see it in her gaze when she glazed over. 

“Pink or blue?” She asked, lifting up two pieces of fabric.

I shook my head, “Whichever your mother likes less.”

“Blue then,” She smiled mischievously. “It’s a good thing it’s my levir’s favorite.”

I did not speak Latin well, but I knew the word for brother well enough. I heard it often in my time at the village and it was enough to make me crack a smile. Leave it to the girl to be thinking about making me presentable to my mate. Seeing my face, Callisto’s smile only grew.

“I’ll grab a set of Ji-Hyun’s clothes just in case. Jimin will hate it but I think he’d hate you walking around in rags even more.”

She was back quickly with a knitted bag around her shoulder and a bottle in her hand. I could smell the floral scent coming off of it and smiled softly. She was really trying to make me feel better even if it was through hygiene. I liked her even more than I thought I would.

We left through the back, and I was saddened at the state of their yard. Everything was dead and whatever memories had been held in this patch of grass was long gone. Callisto grabbed ahold of my hand and guided me in the direction of the rushing water.

“Where’s Jimin’s mom?” I asked.

Callisto shrugged, “Who knows? She left this morning to help some of her friends gather supplies to begin their rebuild but knowing her she’s been all over the place today. You’ll like her a lot.”

I could not tell if she meant it or was trying to convince me. Jimin had been confident in his family’s support of our relationship, and I was happy that Callisto has been so welcoming to me. I had no doubt Ji-Hyun would be equally kind, but a mother’s love could be burdensome. She would want what was best for Jimin, and I was unsure I would make the cut.

“Would she like me?” I whispered, embarrassed.

The girl laughed, “Oh, trust me, she already does. The way Jimin speaks of you is enough for her, so don’t worry about that, okay?”

She had a simple way of looking at things. It was admirable and I desperately wanted to live in her mind for just a few moments. I would do anything to make these thoughts go away. With every fleeting moment of fire taking over my mind, every flash of Cordelia’s disfigured face, and Aldara’s arm under the moonlight I wanted to go back to sleep. Then I remembered I heard the way they screamed when my eyes were closed and all thoughts of that went away. I again fed into the fantasy that Callisto was strong enough to make these thoughts disappear and wished I could live in her mind for a few moments.

“Are you okay?” Callisto asked.

I had not realized I was zoning out again. “No, but that’s the way things are sometimes.”

She cocked her head, “Not if you don’t want them to be.”

I laughed without humor, “It is never that simple for everyone, Callisto. I am glad you seem to be an exception to my rules, though. I would not wish it on anyone.”

Then again, she had not lost those she held dearest. The elves left the humans alone, so her family was perfectly safe, both her mate and his family survived the carnage, and she did not seem to be mourning any friends. Faulting her for not grieving what I have grieved would be wrong.

We walked in silence but Callisto’s grip on my hand tightened. I could already tell she was an overly affectionate person and for once the thought did not bother me. It suited her. The stream finally came into view, and we began to strip once we were at the bank.

“Oh,” I heard her choke.

Looking around, I tried to find what bothered the girl so much, but we were completely alone. Glancing down, I stared at my arms with a withering expression. They were burned and scarred, the skintight and textured with random splatters. The iron had burned me more than I thought it had. My palms were the worst of it and I followed the blobs of scarred skin until I could no longer see my body. 

Running a finger down my chest, I followed a few ridges of scarred skin until I found a large, raised gash on my abdomen. Hunching over, I whimpered at the sight. The jagged edges of the stab wound were like rocks against the pads of my fingers. They were darker than the center of the scar and I traced over them over and over again. Callisto called out to me, and I tore my gaze away from the cut.

“I’m sorry for saying anything,” She rushed, forcing her eyes to look at the water. “It was rude.”

“It’s fine,” I answered harshly- far harsher than I anticipated. Taking a deep breath, I made a great effort to soften my tone. “I will wear them with pride.”

The lie seemed to placate her, and her shifting gaze stopped. Stepping into the water, Callisto motioned for me to join her. The water was warmer than I was expecting, and I rejoiced in the feeling against my skin. Using my hands, I wiped at the dirt that was caked on me. I had to clench my jaw to stop myself from voicing the pain the friction caused my damaged skin. I did not want the human girl worrying over me. We used the flowery wash, and I was happy with how clean my body was and refreshed my mind seemed to be.

The dress fit me a bit loosely, but it was an easy adjustment. I was not keen on wearing another man’s clothes even if it was Jimin’s brother’s. Somehow it made it worse. Callisto was excited to help me lace the back up and fretted over it falling down my body properly. I liked the flowy fabric that fell to my ankles, but the top was much tighter than I would have chosen. After helping me into the dress, I helped Callisto into her own muted-green dress before we set back off for the house. 

“I’ll wash the shirt,” She offered.

I shook my head, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll replace it later.”

Callisto nodded, took my head, and remained quiet. I noticed how quiet the rest of the forest was as well. There were no birds chirping, no frogs croaking, and no bugs buzzing. I could not hear any deer hooves against the grass or hear the rustling of a rabbit in the shrubs. The forest was as silent as we were, and it was eerie. Bangtan was always swimming with life and now there was nothing.

The house came back into view, and I tensed up once again. I was not ready to face my friends again, and my need to see Jimin was growing. I needed to explain myself before anyone else could tell him about what was going on with me. I stopped walking. It dawned on me then that Callisto had overheard my talk with the others, and she knew more than I thought she had. Stopping with me, the young girl looked at me with her eyebrows raised.

“Does Jimin know?” I demanded, taking my hand out of hers.

“What?”

“Does Jimin know about-” I struggled to find the right words. How do you describe the wind speaking to you without sounding crazy? “Does he know about me?”

Callisto’s eyes softened. Reaching out to me, she took my hand back and rubbed my knuckles. I did not deserve her kindness, but I selfishly accepted it. Her tender gaze was so understanding, so kind, and I almost believed I could be forgiven. I also knew that her silence answered my question for me. Still, I pushed.

“Yes,” She answered, “Jimin knows. The entire family does. Don’t take anything Hyun says to heart, he is not known for being sensitive to others. I promise to keep him on a leash.”

My world momentarily tilted on its axis. I wanted to be the person to tell Jimin. I wanted to be able to be honest without being told on, and now I was facing the reality where that would never happen. Callisto’s warm hand was reassuring but that did not change anything. Even if Jimin loved me, even if he had forgiven me already, it did nothing to stop the all-encompassing guilt that I felt. I almost wished they had turned me away and blamed me for their hardships- that would be far easier to understand. Ji-Hyun’s dislike for me made complete sense.

“Cali!”

Our moment was broken, and Callisto early let go of my hand. She was practically running away from me now and I looked to find who had caught her attention so easily. The brunette ran into the arms of a man who swung her around.

He was huge, towering over the tiny woman, his muscles massive and bulging. He was very tanned, skin reminding me of a bronze medal, that contrasted completely with his light hair. It was a strange mixture of colors ranging from a taupe brown, gentle great, and stark white. Cropped short and slicked back from his face, the man smiled down at Callisto, and it stopped me dead in my tracks. His smile was wide, his teeth perfectly straight, and a small dimple appeared on his left cheek. The way his eyes smiled with him made me want to run as fast as I could toward the palace. I was looking at Jimin’s younger brother who looked everything and nothing like him.

Seeming to notice me, the wolf’s attention snapped to me straight away. Callisto, following his gaze, gave me a blinding smile. Outside, her eyes looked bluer than they had before, and I belatedly realized they were a strange hazel. The man still seemed weary of me but did not immediately question why I was at his house.

“Bridd?” He called out, his voice deeper and rougher than Jimin’s. His eyes were also a light greenish brown that shone prettily in the sun. “What are you doing here?”

I guessed he had little reason to go to the medical ward recently. From the look on Callisto’s face, she was agitated with him and the way he was speaking. I quickly put things together from there. Jimin’s brother had always known about us, even before we had gotten together, but he was used to keeping it to himself. Out here things were much more likely to be overheard. I was filled with gratitude at the small gesture even if I thought it was no longer necessary. Jimin, it seemed, had already made our connection public knowledge. It made me feel even shittier since he did not like me.

“I needed to see everyone before going to the palace,” I replied. “You must be Ji-Hyun, then?”

He nodded, a small, obviously forced smile on his face. He was looking me up and down and I felt self-conscious. I had yet to see myself in a mirror but the once over I had given myself earlier showed me plenty. Ji-Hyun’s eyes stayed on my hands for a second too long and I folded them behind my back. Callisto slapped his chest this time and hissed at him to stop. I chuckled.

“Jimin spoke of you often,” I continued.

Ji-Hyun looked away bashfully. “I’ve heard plenty about you as well.”

“You should be going,” Callisto said, giving her mate a look. “My brother is going to be so happy to see you up and walking around.”

Ji-Hyun laughed at this, and I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. Biting my lip, I nodded and started walking again. Callisto again hit the wolf and chastised him for being “such a boy.” I laughed gently and met Ji-Hyun’s melodramatic pout with a grin. 

“I swear,” She groaned. “You’re always so unencumbered by the thought process.”

Ji-Hyun laughed, “Don’t start pulling out the Namjoon insults on me.”

She rolled her eyes, “If you were Namjoon, I’d been far more likely to punch you in the face. Broken hand be damned.”

The two of them faded as I got further away. They were an odd couple. Obviously very much in love, and childish to an extent, but it still brought a smile to my face. At least two of us could find a sense of humor right now. At least they still had each other. I hoped their mother was as joyous as they were, but I did not keep my hopes up.

A few villagers were beginning to move debris from the roads and put back together a few small buildings. I saw Namjoon amongst the builders and kept walking. I had little to say to the wolf right now and he was busy. Up ahead, Jungkook was throwing things out. It was a rare occurrence to see the omega outside of the palace’s heavily guarded walls, even rarer still away from Sol’s side, but I could imagine they had some distance now that Taehyung was back home. Jungkook no longer needed to shadow and protect Sol anymore. 

I wondered about Hoseok and Hyuna. I trusted Shiloh to heal him, but I had heard nothing about them since I woke up. I doubted the witches would know much with the state our group was in. We had our own casualties so the news of a wolf’s death would die on their ears. My conversation with Da-yun eased my mind slightly. The woman would have said something about Hoseok’s death.

I climbed the hill to get to the palace with great care. I would have liked to use magic, but I was respecting Cadoc’s wishes. No magic unless necessary. It would be for the best. I remembered the conversation the elves were having in the forest and quickened my steps. If their plans were already in motion, I needed to get as much information as possible in order to warn the pack. Whatever the elves were planning, I had a feeling this was just a taste of their power, and I would need all of my strength in order to fight back. Using my magic for things like this would be off-limits.

Halfway up, someone noticed me climbing and came to my aid after asking who I was. The young woman shifted, her gray and brown fur looked pretty in the sun and offered her back to me. The rest of the way up, which would have taken me at least fifteen minutes, was spanned in three. The wolf girl was massive.

She let me down before making her way back down the hill. She had to have been helping the others dealing with the destruction and I felt bad for taking her away from her duties. The girl had not seemed to mind, however, so I decided to let it go. I had far more pressing matters to attend to anyway.

There were a few wolves guarding the outside of the palace. One of them looked at me but paid little attention once they recognized me. I was able to walk inside without a hitch, the doors to the palace heavy and loud. 

The air still smelled of soot, and I was thrust into a swarm of people running around the palace floors. I had only been here during the night and never saw the help that shuffled through the halls. Now, that help was busy scrubbing walls, cleaning fabrics, and grabbing documents. Wrinkling my nose, I did not expect the level of disgust I felt. These people should be taking care of their homes- not polishing these stone floors.

“Can I help you?” I heard a gentle voice call out to me.

She was a large woman, three heads bigger than me, and built like a bear. Her body was muscular and broad, and I found her short, silky, black hair beautiful. Giving me a small smile, her lines and wrinkles revealed her to be older than most in the village. I was happy she had survived the fight. Many of the elderly had not.

“I’m looking for Alpha Jimin,” I replied.

The woman nodded, her face grim and evenly set. I had a feeling I would not be seeing him anytime soon. Figuring I would exhaust all of my options before letting her lead me out, I introduced myself as well as my title. The maid jumped, her fear palpable, and a pang of anger hit me. What had they done to this woman?

“I’m so sorry,” She rushed, her eyes pleading. “I did not know.”

I waved away her concerns.

“There’s no crime,” I soothed. She visibly relaxed and I grit my teeth. I would need to discuss this with Taehyung. No one would be made to fear me so long as I had anything to say about it. “Please, I need to see him.”

She nodded, “Of course, Uxor Park.”

“Excuse me?”

Seemingly embarrassed, the woman tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She started walking up the grand staircase and I followed her closely. 

“My apologies,” She spoke once we were at the top. She kept her voice low, and I struggled to hear her. “I forgot you have been recovering from battle. Alpha Jimin has announced your bond, and your wedding arrangements are being prepared, Oxur Park.”

“I’m not his wife,” I frowned, “Stop calling me that. What’s your name?”

“Koda, daughter of Ammon.”

I hummed, “Well, Koda, I have a name and I would prefer to be called by it.”

Koda looked scandalized. I was unsure of pack etiquette on this level. I had never cared much about it before. Thinking about Jimin, I recalled the nickname he used for me often and asked the maid what it meant.

“It means ‘loved friend,’” She replied, pleasantly. “We use it when talking of our closest loved ones. It’s a platonic nickname.”

The word platonic was distasteful. I had hoped it meant something more. Knowing Jimin would have called any of the copiae ‘amica’ put a bad taste in my mouth. Seeming to notice my discomfort, Koda smiled my way.

“It is something the Alpha would take seriously. I’ve never heard him use nicknames for anyone outside of his family, and never amica. He might find other words too intense before a bonding ceremony.”

I cocked an eyebrow at the large woman who chuckled fondly. The tension from earlier seemed to be gone now and I hoped she knew I would never raise my voice to her. I would not put it past Ahn to lay hands on their workers. He was a vile little man.

“He’s very traditional,” Koda continued. “He’s been going about your union in the most courteous way imaginable and had refused to publicly announce your partnership until you woke up.”

“Of course,” She grumbled, “That was until Bo decided to throw a fit.”

His hesitance both pleased and displeased me. While I understood his fears about the pack’s reactions I could not act as though it was not hurtful. He had said he would choose me over everybody and yet when faced with that reality he would rather hide. This Bo woman was beginning to piss me off. I would have rather Jimin decide he wanted to publicly claim me as his own not because someone else wanted to cause a political war right after an attack.

“Even knowing how careful he is, I'm surprised the bond has not been completed,” Koda spoke away without much care if I replied or not. I could imagine she never gossiped with people outside of the maids. “He really is such a gentleman. His mother raised both of those boys well.”

“What are you talking about?” I finally spoke again, entertained by the woman. The young wolves always seemed uptight regarding sex and their rituals, but Koda’s age made her less self-conscious. 

“I know many wolves,” Koda’s voice dropped even lower now. “Most are dreadful mates. Men are raised to believe they own their wives, but times are changing. Alpha Jimin is one of the best men I know.”

“You know him well?”

“No,” She admitted, “But he’s one of the few wolves who have never laid a hand on me.”

“Why don’t you leave this place?” I breathed, trying to keep our conversation as private as we could.

She sighed, “It’s my duty to serve.”

Instantly, I felt a kinship to this woman. While I was never hit, no one had ever even thought of laying a finger to me, I did understand what it felt like to be trapped. Here she was in her prison, and she could find little solace in her place in society. I thought of Ahn again and wanted nothing more than to kill him myself.

“Is the vermin alive?” I sneered, anger getting the best of me. 

“Ahn?” She hissed, her fear palpable. Then just as quickly she relaxed. “No, he’s dead. It is only Kim Yong-Seok, Namjoon’s father, and Bo Ha-Joon. She has been struggling greatly. She lost a child.”

I felt a great amount of guilt again. That poor woman. I tried picking her face out in my mind but could not remember who she was. There were three women on the council table, but Ahn never allowed them to speak. He must have been one of those dreadful mates Koda had been speaking about. I never hated the man, had never really liked him either, but my loyalties to Taehyung would always sway my bias now. If Kim Yong-Seok wanted a problem, then I would be sure he knew exactly who he would be up against. Then again, it had been Bo causing the uproar.

I thought of Namjoon and knew my worries would be unnecessary once things started up again. We had all lost something, and from Namjoon’s apologies I would hope his father would honor his son’s wishes. I would have to thank the alpha for helping me during the fight.

“Taehyung is a good man,” Koda was rushed now, and I assumed we were approaching the others. “A very, very good man. Sol is lucky.”

I could not agree with her more. After spending as much time with the boy as I had there was no denying his potential. What he lacked in aggression he made up for in heart. Sure, he was gullible and prone to random outbursts that led to nowhere, but I knew what he had inside of him. The way he fought was only one facet of his life. When I thought of his strength the way he held Sol in his arms came to mind. She was as precious to him as silk, and he made sure to hold her tightly enough to stop her from regretting hurting another.

“However,” Her voice was practically gone from how softly she spoke now. I had to lean into her and tap into the animal within me to make out everything she said. “His sweetness will be used against him in these coming months. Tell me, Bridd, do you believe in him?”

I answered without hesitation, “More than anyone in Lustra.”

“Even more than your Jimin?”

I smiled, “Taehyung will give your people something Jimin never will.”

“And what’s that?”

I looked at her now. I had a feeling I would be in this place more than ever, and I would want to keep her close to me. She was a comfort that I never had. We understood each other. 

“Peace of mind.”

I meant every word. If Jimin had been alpha I was sure this entire village would have been to Northorn by now. The fight would have never ended. Everything would have revolved around war. Jimin would give them strength and hope, but his own desire to end things as quickly as possible would place people in danger. No one would be prepared to do the right thing- wait and plan. I doubted any of the witches would be here either. I would certainly still be in my cottage.

Taehyung was methodical. He always came off as goofy or passive, but I knew better. Those eyes saw everything, and information was precious to him. He listened to your every word and took it to heart. He would want to be sure as many people could be helped, that those who can’t help themselves would be hidden, and look at every avenue of support he could. He was able to get around my love’s vital flaw- pride. Taehyung had plenty of it, but he was as humble as they come. I smiled fondly thinking of him. 

I was so happy we had made it through this.

“What happens now?” I asked, a large set of wooden doors coming into view as we turned into a quiet hallway.

“You will meet with the council as a new Oxur,” Koda began, a professionalism in her voice that had faded as we spoke now back. I could sense her nerves as we got closer to the room. “After that you will begin planning your wedding. Of course, with everything going on that may be postponed or rushed. You and Bo will discuss your options at some point.

“You will live in this palace as things play out. You and Jimin will not be permitted to be alone together without a chaperone present. Again, things might be different with the fallout. Ahn made these rules, but Taehyung will likely ignore them. He and the Luna wedded yesterday to establish their bond as quickly as possible. Bo was not happy but understood. Kim just wanted to be sure the Luna was feeling better since being near him once more.”

I nodded, trying to keep up. The strange need for virgins here was odd. I had never met a wolf who had actually waited for their wedding to bond with their mate. Hoseok and Hyuna were inseparable from what I heard. Sol and Taehyung had no choice, but from her reaction to him I was sure they would be on one another the second they were alone. Jimin, however, had kept his distance. I smiled. He was trying to protect what he perceived as “my honor,” even if I thought the whole process was dripping in misogyny.

“Kim is not angry about your union,” She continued, speaking quickly. “In fact, he was quite pleased. He believes your children will be very strong and that will be vital if this war continues.

“You and Jimin must meet with his family to discuss arrangements after the wedding. Oftentimes, a woman will be asked to become a servant to the family for the first year of marriage in exchange for a lifetime of loyalty. Mi-Jeong will not do that to you. She is a very good, strong woman and will be happy you have made her son happy.

“I will say that she can be a wildcard. Quick tempered and straight to the point. I adore her but she can come off abrasive. It’s why she and your sister-in-law get along so well. 

“From what I have heard she is already on your side. She dislikes Bo so much that she is your biggest fan. What’s the saying? An enemy of my enemy is my friend?”

I struggled to keep up with the rules. Was this what Sol had been taught her entire life? I scoffed. Taehyung could care less about how “lady like” the girl was, and I was sure Jimin cared even less about my own manners. It was funny to hear about his mother’s temperament, but it still bothered me how little she knew of our bond. The fact that Bo told her instead of Jimin broke my heart.

“The most important thing will be your intentions. You will be one of the most important women in the village now, and everyone will have to trust and respect you for this to ever work. I believe most have seen what you have done for us and were easily swayed. I cannot promise all will be satisfied, but this war is more important than petty things like this.”

I could only pray Koda was right. Reaching the door, Koda gestured for me to be quiet as she knocked. The gentle chatter inside ceased. After announcing my presence, the room exploded. I grinned when I heard Sol’s voice over them all begging to be the one to greet me. 

“I need to apologize,” She stated, already deciding she had won this fight. “Besides, you’ve both had her long enough.”

The door opened with a loud whoosh. The heavy doors seemed to weigh nothing under the Luna’s hands. Sol was glowing, her golden skin plump and dewy, and I saw the sun in her eyes. A huge smile on her face, Sol wasted little time running into my body, her arms wrapping around me tightly. I hugged the girl back, my face hot from the attention. Koda stood beside us and did not utter a word. If I was expected to stay locked away in here, then that would be changing rather soon.

“I’m so sorry,” Sol exclaimed, practically shaking in her excitement. She was so happy, so overjoyed that it was difficult to believe a war was happening in Lustra. I wondered just how sheltered she was being in here. “I can’t believe I scratched you.”

I scoffed, “There’s nothing to forgive. That was the least important thing that happened.”

Sol pouted, “I still needed to apologize. You’ve done too much for me to be treated that way.”

I hoped my eyes could convey just how much I understood what she meant. I did not need her apologies, did not want them, and I would never speak of this incident again. I took Taehyung in because I wanted to, and no one would be indebted to me as far as I was concerned. To her I had saved her entire universe. To me I had harbored a fugitive because it was the right thing to do.

“Enough about that,” I waved her off. “I’m here to see Jimin.”

I heard a sharp intake of breath but shrugged it off. I hadn’t said anything wrong according to our relationship. If Jimin had an issue, then we would talk about it. Until then, I was unbothered by the thoughts of others. 

“I’d like to be excused now.”

Sol was momentarily forgotten as she clung to my side. He was so tired. His voice was rugged and slow and so, so defeated. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and kiss his nose. I knew that would be too rude in front of the others, but I did untangle myself from Sol to get closer to him.

“After,” The deep, masculine voice was not to be argued with. “It will only take a few moments, Alpha.”

Finally stepping into the room, I felt better with Jimin in sight. His hair was tied back so I could see his wilted expression with full clarity. There would be no hiding from me right now. I wanted to rush to his side and let him know that I was fine. Catching Taehyung’s eyes, I held myself back. This would be quick.

Raising to his feet, Taehyung bowed to me. I bowed back, knowing that we would not hug again. It was disrespectful to do so, and he would want to be sure his mate would be comfortable with that level of familiarity.

Jimin stayed seated but his eyes never left me. This would be difficult for him. The two of us had gone through hell a few days ago, and I had not held him since. A gentle voice called out to me.

“It’s so wonderful to see you alive Bridd,” An elderly woman, who I could only guess was Bo, greeted. “The Council was beginning to worry.”

I gave the woman a small smile and hoped my expression was neutral.

“I am quite well,” I assured. 

“We are grateful for your service,” The voice from before said.

Turning around, I was greeted by an older man. His hair was going gray, and lines had become more pronounced. It took one look to know this was Namjoon’s father. They shared the same mono-lidded eyes, both of them just as serious and stoic as the other, but that was where the similarities ended. I could only imagine how his mother looked and the strength of those genes.

“I don’t believe we have had the pleasure of a formal introduction,” Kim approached and bowed deeply. I returned the gesture. 

“I am Kim Yong-Seok, Namjoon’s father. I’ve served this council since the time of the previous Bridd, and I am honored to have fought alongside you.”

“I am Y/N,” I replied. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Yong-Seok.”

“Elder Kim is quite alright,” Bo’s voice was too sweet, and I resisted the urge to scowl.

The man sat down in one of the many chairs in the room. There was a large table in the middle of it all, but no one seemed interested in the papers on it. I stayed standing. I had not noticed Sol’s return to the room and grinned. She was curled in Taehyung’s lap not listening to a word we were saying. I was very jealous, and my patience was thinning. Jimin had still not said a word.

“I would like to tell you how much I appreciate you for taking Alpha Taehyung in,” Kim continued. “My son was not acting rationally, and he had many voices in his ear, but I tried to make him see reason. Ahn was the one who took the letter you sent him. Ha-Joon found it in his things yesterday morning.”

My jaw clenched. The man was dead, and I would try not to speak ill of him right now. Everyone was mourning and my anger would solve nothing. It still did not sit well with me that either one of these elders lived. They could not shift anymore and would be easy targets for the elves. I had heard little of them before and Namjoon had said everyone was being irrational. Not once had he talked of his father or Bo Ha-Joon. I did not trust these two and I thought back to Cadoc.

We had a spy amongst us.

The conversation the elves had come back to me as well, and I knew I needed to say something. Aldara had said I needed to find Naida, whoever that may be, and hopefully it would lead me to answers. I decided I would need to talk with Cadoc about that later. I glanced at Jimin and bit my lip. Sneaking away may be a challenge.

If Koda was right then it would not be as difficult, but Ahn was the one in charge of these rules. I did not know Kim or Bo well enough to say if they felt similarly. I heard Bo shifting behind me but said nothing. She did not talk very much.

“I understand,” I would keep those thoughts to myself. “All is forgiven. I actually have some things to discuss if that would be alright with you.”

The man nodded.

“I overheard the elves talking when I went to find Jimin’s party out in the woods,” I sighed when I heard Bo’s noise of disapproval. She was uncomfortable with the way I addressed Jimin it seemed. I ignored her. 

“They were speaking in Lustrian. Unfortunately, their dialect is different from mine so I could not pick up everything they were saying, but I heard enough. They are moving to attack Northorn and four days after they are going to come back to Bangtan.”

“Four days after what?” Bo’s voice startled me.

I shrugged, “I can’t say for sure, but it would have to be if they were successful in the siege. That’s the only thing that would make sense.”

“So, four days after the take Northorn they are coming back?” Taehyung clarified. 

“Again, I can’t say for sure, but it’s what it sounded like. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Finally, he spoke. “You’re not infallible. Thank you for telling us what you do know.”

“Yes,” Kim nodded his agreement. “We will have to prepare. The attack on Northorn began last night.”

Chief Kim stood; his intimidating figure tall enough to reach the ceiling. He looked past me, obviously to the other Chief, and they had some kind of silent conversation. My eyes stayed on Jimin now. I knew this meeting would be over soon.

“I think it would be best if Oxur Park stayed in her own suite,” I heard Bo say.

I did not like that woman.

“I agree,” Chief Kim replied.

I did not like him either.

“They should be separated until their union,” She continued. “The witch needs to learn proper etiquette before touching the Alpha.”

I hated her.

Jimin looked as impressed as I did. With a deep scowl, Jimin disagreed vehemently. Taehyung took his side as well as Sol. They cited the war and bloodshed. Why waste time with these nonsensical rules when we had lived together for two months? I chose to stay quiet.

Kim finally said his peace, “Separating them is not an option. The Luna is right, they have already lived intimately, and I will not break their bonds for the sake of tradition.”

“But they have not completed anything,” Bo argued, sending a hateful look my way.

It was obvious she would be someone to look out for. I could not understand what I had done to make her dislike me so, but I did not care enough to figure it out. Jimin was mine and nothing would change that. 

“We both know that it is not the only part of the bond,” Kim scolded. “They will sleep separately but we need both of them present for this war. Forcing them apart will be detrimental.”

I was still weary of them both, but I was far more inclined to like Kim. Bo was not satisfied with his answer but chose to keep her mouth shut. With that decided, the Elder dismissed us so he would have time to think. Taehyung and Sol stayed behind.

“Alpha Jimin,” I wanted to groan in frustration.

Having just stood up, Jimin was still too far away for my liking. Growing tired of holding back, I walked to his side. He reached out and took my hand. Bo frowned at the contact. 

“Yes, Yong-Seok?”

“Come back in an hour. We have much to discuss regarding this revelation.”

He nodded, “Of course.”

Just like that, the two of us were cut off from the remaining conversation. Kim wanted to speak with Taehyung about an upcoming fight, and I was sure this would be better with Jimin here. My own selfishness was jumping for joy at being alone with him again, but I was worried how this short break may affect this war. 

Again, this Naida came to mind. Aldara had said I would have to find her, which meant she was not in Bangtan. I doubted I would find her in Moland either. Everyone knew everyone in the swamp and the name had never come up before. Naida was in the beyond, someplace within Lustra that I had never seen before, and it scared me. I would have to reference some of my mentor’s old books to figure out who she is.

Jimin led me out of the room, and I was sad to see Koda had already disappeared. She must have left once I went into the room. Wrapping an arm around my waist, Jimin pulled me to his side and quickened his pace. I struggled to keep up, but I pushed my worries to the side. For now, I would allow myself to be happy to just be near him. 

“So,” I whispered, forcing myself to smile, “I’m your wife now?”

His ears reddened.

“It’s just a formality,” He replied, voice suspiciously even. I giggled at his flushed face and calmed easily. We were just us right now and that would have to be enough. I would worry about Cadoc once the sun set. “I had planned on proposing properly once this war was over.”

Slowing down, Jimin opened a door and pulled me inside. It was a dimly lit room with only candlelight and a large bed within it. Fresh sheets smelled of cotton and lavender and I was unhappy with how barren it was. Only two pillows and a thin blanket. I was already itching to go back to my cabin and nest in my thick quilts.

Thinking about the cabin made me think about Shiloh. I had never gotten the chance to say goodbye. I knew I should be happy to be with my mate again, but I was so tired of plastering on a face of good health. It was so hard to remain calm when my body kept getting pushed and pulled in every which way. One moment I was angry and the next so sad I did not know what to do with it. 

“Come here,” Jimin whispered, hands running down my sides.

Looking at him, I saw something change in his gaze. He looked hungry and for once I was not interested in feeding him. What was the point if he was going to pull away? I tried to take a step back, but he only pulled me closer.

“What’s wrong, amica?” He purred, nuzzling the top of my head.

“I don’t want to be left hanging again, alpha,” I breathed, breath hitching as he fingers grazed the side of my breast. “I know how you feel about my ‘honor.’”

I could not keep the venom out of my voice. I hated that he believed I would somehow be ruined if he took things further. My mind screamed that he would never think that, but his actions proved otherwise. Why else would he be so afraid of loving me openly? Instead, he took me into a dark, damp room in a palace filled with people who would whisper about me behind my back. He was fine with us being separated when I would rather die.

“That’s what you think this is about?” He pulled away abruptly. 

“Isn’t it?” I spat, my anger coming back with a vengeance.

Jimin shook his head and cupped my cheek. I turned away and tried to push his body away from my own. I knew I was being irrational. I knew how badly I just wanted to touch him, but I could not stop myself from running. His rejections hurt but today they felt like they would kill me. I felt so inadequate and unwanted. Why was he not talking about my betrayal?

“No, mea columba,” He cooed, “You will always be someone I am proud to be with. No matter what.”

Scoffing, I took another step back only for Jimin’s grip to grow stronger.

“Is that why everyone found out about us because of that vile woman?” I struggled in his grip until he finally let me go. “You’re so proud you’d rather keep me your little secret?”

Confused, Jimin reached for me, “Where is this coming from?”

I wanted to tell him I didn’t know; that I had no idea why I was so angry when moments ago I had been so happy to see him. I wanted to tell him I just needed him to need me. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for lying and keeping things from him. I wanted to tell him I was waiting for him to yell at me, to reject me for killing his people and my friend, and that was the reason he did not want to tell everyone of our relationship. Instead, I cowered away from him.

“You said you would pick me over everyone and when it came down to it you didn’t,” I spit. “You didn’t even tell your mother! The only reason she even likes me is because of her dislike of Bo!”

Jimin reached for me again and this time did not stop when I backed away. Grabbing my arm, the two of us made eye contact and whatever I had wanted to say died on my lips. He looked fierce and I could see the tears forming in my eyes. 

“Stop it,” His voice was scarily calm, “I hate it when you speak of yourself like this.”

Thrown, I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I could feel myself crying but I was not sure why. Everything felt like it was too much and too little. Was I going crazy?

“I am sorry that they found out this way, but you have to believe me when I say I had every intention of telling them. I just wanted to wait until you woke up, carissima.”

I knew that, hadn’t I? Koda had said that already, and I had believed her. I was supposed to be angry at Bo, but instead here I was taking it out on my boyfriend. Why was I so angry? What is wrong with me?

“You’re overwhelmed,” Jimin pulled me back into his embrace. “I just want to help you relax, carissima.”

I nodded and melted into his chest. I felt so exhausted despite sleeping for two days. Jimin rubbed my back and pressed kisses into my head, but it did nothing to calm my racing heart. 

“Amica means friend,” I cried, violent sobs racking through my body, “Is that what I am to you? A friend?”

Jimin chuckled darkly, “Of course you’re my friend, Y/N. My dearest, most loved friend. Is that a problem?”

I nodded, my tears still falling. I felt like a hurricane was raging inside of me and nothing could calm it. My stomach was tied and twisted into knots and I felt like I was going to vomit. Shaking, I closed my eyes and saw Cordelia’s face. Gasping, I flinched away from Jimin but his hold on me was steady. I knew then that I was going crazy. This was just like Aldara’s death all over again. Whimpering, I gripped Jimin’s shirt and sobbed.

“Can’t we be both?” He whispered. “Can’t you be my very best friend and my lover at once?”

I nodded again when words failed me. I could not stop myself from crying and the shaking only grew worse. Outside I could hear people walking around but I could not find it in me to stop. The dam had been broken down now and all I wanted was to run away and hide. I wanted to stay in his arms for eternity. Why had I pushed him away?

“Sweet girl,” His lips brushed my ear, “I’m not upset with you.”

And I could breathe easier. I curled into his body and finally wrapped my arms around him. My hands pressed against his strong back and I felt the muscles twitch underneath them. Jimin let out a large sigh and dropped his head on my shoulder. With his new position, I put my face into his neck and breathed him in. My cries started to calm.

“Fall apart,” He whispered. “I’ll be here to hold you together.”

And for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to bask in his love and adoration without guilt hanging over my head.

“I forgive you,” He kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry you were hurting.”

“I’m so sorry, Jimin,” I choked out.

He answered me with a kiss on my collarbone and a nip on my jaw.

The moon was high in the sky. Sitting in the faceless room, which I now knew as my own, I stared out the lone window and waited for a sign of Cadoc. It should not be too much longer before I get out of here. The walls were suffocating without Jimin around to hold me. 

He stayed for the entire hour and held me. I cried until I could no longer produce tears and then I wailed. I told everything then. I told him about my visions before everything had hit, how I had kept things from him out of fear for his safety, and all of the ways I had gone out of my way to keep everyone in the dark. I stuttered my way through the way I fought off the elf, how much it had hurt to kill myself, and the way Aldara looked like an angel.

He held me tightly when I told him about Taehyung and I fighting our way through the elves to get to Sol, how she had bitten and swung at me like a stranger, and just how tiny she was. I felt him flinch when we talked about finding Yoongi and he cried with me when I got to dragging Cordelia’s body from a pile of the dead.

“She was so heavy,” I blubbered, rocking back and forth in his arms. “So, so heavy.”

He did not want to leave me, but he had duties to attend to. He offered to send someone up to sit with me but I declined the offer. I did not want anyone but him to step foot in this room. This would be my new nest and it was mine to decide what to do with and who to allow. I would make an exception for Koda, but only to keep her away from Bo and Kim’s hands. I doubted my friends would ever come here to find me, not when I was so desperate to get away from this castle.

Finally, I caught sight of a shadowy figure running through the village. Without waiting for a signal or call sign, I shifted. My bird flew around easily and made no noise as it glided through the dark palace. I had to shift back once I reached the main door. I knew it would be impossible to open without alerting someone to my disappearance, so I needed to find another way. The window in my room did not open, but hopefully one of these would. After checking a few, I found that one was completely missing from its spot. They must have been repairing it.

Taking advantage of the opening, I shifted and took off to the forest. It was dead silent tonight and I hoped my friends were safe. Patto would be fine but Delinah could have been injured or killed in the attack. Elves ate deer. I did not want to ponder on the thought any further. 

Cadoc was waiting for me in my meadow. The cottage was still destroyed but otherwise seemed completely untouched. Sniffing the air I was sure that no one else had been around here for days. The others must have thought me dead and left the cottage alone once they thought it was useless. Magic and spells were of no use to them, especially my silly little grimoires filled with potions and strange teleports.

“No one’s been out here,” Cadoc shouted once he saw me coming. 

I shifted once I was close enough to the ground. The clothing spell had never been more useful to me. Cadoc was dressed in dark clothes now and blended into the trees. That weird translucent quality he had the first time we met was back. I hoped we were safe enough but kept up my guard just in case. I fondled the iron ring I was wearing.

“What do you know?” I asked, cutting straight to the point.

“Not much,” He admitted. “Samanya is suspicious of the female chief, but I believe that is too easy a target. Lorcan is untrusting of humans, but his own bias is affecting his judgment. Both of them are going to our queen living deep in Moland to discuss their theories.”

I pursed my lips. That did not bode well for our case. If none of them can agree on who they think is wrong how could their queen be of use? Why was she still in Moland when the fight was in Foxglove? None of it made sense, but I could not say Bo or the humans had done anything wrong. Even if I disliked the older woman, I could not deny her loyalty to her pack and its traditions. It was hard to believe she would do anything to destroy that or kill her child.

“What evidence is there that anyone was involved?”

“They came in through the cave systems. No army could have gone through them that quietly without knowing where to go. How were no wolves able to pick up on them? It’s too strange for us to ignore the possibilities.”

I hated to agree with him but it was odd. The cave was echoey and loud. There were few things that could be quiet enough to invade without someone hearing something. The wolves would have been ready for a cave ambush if they made a single sound, but they did not. You would have to know where to go in order to take advantage of that vantage point. That would also rule out any humans in the village as they were forbidden from entering the cave. Their two biggest leads were already thrown out of the window and it unsettled me.

“You believe me,” Cadoc always sounded so surprised about my trust. 

“You make good points,” I replied. “I just don’t understand why someone would use elves against their own people.”

“The same reason the elves turn on their own: Power.”

Elves were disgusting creatures. Aldara had always said a Quietus kills for vengeance while an elf kills for glory. Their kind believed in mass genocide and hated what they called “halflings” and “hybrids.” Their country of Etelin were the first to attack during the Century War where they stole the land of Korika from the wolves and foxes living there. Lustra had never fallen but those who once ruled these lands had diminished. Quietus were amongst these populations and a few groups had become highly aggressive towards anyone who was not an elemental.

Those were the ones Aldara killed. She always reminded me that there were good people, good Quietus, but it was so hard to imagine as a child. Everything was black and white then, but looking at Cadoc I knew she was right. I had yet to see a shred of mirth from him and he had always given me unwavering support in a fight. Still, I kept the idea of a quietus being involved to myself. I did not want our people fighting one another when the real threat was still out there. Whoever it was would be caught in time.

“What did your ancestor show you?” He asked. “The little witch boy said you would have seen her in the spirit world.”

I frowned, “She told me to find someone called Naida.”

I had no idea who this could be, but Cadoc’s expression told me that he did. The name was familiar but I did not know where I had heard it before. Aldara would always tell me stories of Lustra and the ones that found it, but names were never the focal point of any of them. The only name that came to mind was Keld, the fire dragon who guarded King Omar’s grave in Briar Glen Beach. I wondered if the elves realized they were encroaching on a dragon’s territory and this time their Sarkan friends were not with them. As far as I could tell, the humans were still in their home country while their cousins in Northorn were getting obliterated. 

“And she said you specifically?”

I nodded wearily. Cadoc began to pace and mumble to himself. In the dark on the significance of this name, I grew annoyed. I wished he would get over himself and talk to me. I stayed quiet in fear I would say something rude and tried to be patient. My emotional whiplash was beginning to weigh heavily upon my shoulders.

“You’re going to have to go to the Ozryn Mountains,” He finally said. “Finding Naida is impossible without Khione. She’s in the Mountains near Idris and you may be able to convince her to take you to Naida if you tell her of the situation here in Bangtan.”

I scoffed, “What are you talking about? Who are these people?”

“Khione is an elemental who bends. She is Naida’s closest and oldest friend, and will be easier to find.”

I sighed in frustration. I did not like being out of the loop and after the day I had my patience has run dry. I wanted to get back to Foxglove and sneak into Jimin’s house for the night. Bo be damned, I needed to see him. Especially if I would have to leave soon. The thought made me want to cry. Angered by the wave of emotions slamming into me at once, I clenched my jaw and groaned.

“I don’t know who any of these people are!” I shouted. “Talk to me, Cadoc. I’m lost and you’re saying I need to leave Bangtan to go and find some elemental.”

The Quietus paused his pacing to stare at me. I was missing something important, but it was hard to explain how little I knew about the world outside of the forest. I found the politics of Northorn boring and talks of war made me uncomfortable. I knew, however, that these women were not in positions of power within the statehoods. The only woman that came to mind was Queen Elizabeth of Northorn.

“You are too young to remember the age of the dragons,” Cadoc said and I realized he thought I was much older than I was. I wondered if I looked like Heidi or Griselda enough to have him confused, or perhaps he thought I had been the one to come after them. “Naida is the mother of them all. She was the first dragon-shifter to ever live, and Khione is a distant relative born of a dragon and quietus couple thousands of years ago. Their ancestors are the mighty dragons that went extinct during the First War.”

“I didn’t ask for a history lesson, Cadoc,” I grunted.

“It’s important that you understand who you’re dealing with,” He assured.

“There’s no Naida living in Alcona,” I snapped, ignoring his stupid rebuttal.

The Quietus chortled good-naturedly. Disarmed, I realized I was acting strangely again and flushed hot. I smiled sheepishly and scratched behind my ear. Satisfied by my response, Cadoc carried on.

“Naida is a water dragon,” He explained. “Khione is an elemental who cannot shift as her bloodline was diluted by air elemental blood.”

Dragon shifters, as far as I knew, were fire elementals that lived in the Alcona Islands. Aldara had said during the Century War they had been enslaved and used as weapons of war once the elves learned how to force them to their will with the help of Sarkan weaponry. Water and air were far more difficult to control, and we had always assumed they were the only dragons to survive the war. I had never known of these water tribes within Ozryn. It reminded me of the rumors of hybrids living deep in the mountains after the first Quietus Invasion.

“The people of Alcona are familiar with her,” Cadoc continued. “Queen Affra is her godchild but they do not see one another often. Naida mourns the death of her kin and holds a mean grudge against Etelin for what they have done to Lustra.”

I was doubtful I would be able to find this dragon woman. I had hardly stepped foot out of the forest and the furthest I had gone was Moland. I had no maps or points of reference to guide me along the journey. Then there was the very real chance I was not allowed to go. Jimin would fight tooth and nail to keep me in Bangtan, and I would need to find a way around him. Cadoc seemed to be following my train of thought.

“Samanya will have the maps you will need for the journey. She may even offer to go with you.”

“No,” I shook my head. “If I’m not here then I want to be sure all of the strongest fighters are. I will go off on my own and write when I can.”

“I can speak with King Hadeon. He can offer up his consort-”

“No,” I emphasize my point once more. “I will do this alone. I can only choose my own fate. If I die then that will be so, no need to pull anybody away from Foxglove.”

Cadoc seemed upset by my resolve but moved on. I would not budge from this. Another reason I could be denied would be lack of hands and I would be sure mine would be the only ones gone. Cogs turning, I was sure I could convince Kim and Bo to allow me passage so long as I promised to return with help no matter what. I could use the excuse of sending for help from Viridi Gramine, but I knew Taehyung would see through the lie. He was another factor I would need to consider.

“You’re braver than you look,” He finally settled on.

“I don’t feel that way,” I replied.

Ignoring the comment, Cadoc continued.

“You will need to get to Clarcton first. There you can find lodging. The elves are still at the northern tip of Northorn to avoid Briar Glen Beach. Keld resides there and he will alert Affra.

“Pack for the cold, buy some clothes, and try to find a guide to the mountains. No one will give you passage, but you might be able to get some help finding your way. Once you’re in the mountains stay south and find the narrow passageway to Idris.”

“How will I know I’m going the right way?”

“Dwarf caves are all over the place. You would be able to hear them during the day. Do not walk at night. You will die. If you’re lucky, someone will be curious and ask why you’re there. Tell them you are looking for Khione. It’s alright to say it’s elves- dwarves hate them more than we do.

“If not, keep going until you see a light in the distance. That is Khione’s tower where the guiding light shines for travelers. At this point you will probably believe you’re going to die, and you will cry in relief. Ozryn is tumultuous even during this time of year. We are lucky they attacked in summer instead of winter or your journey would be impossible.”

This plan was forming itself already. Tonight I would gather grimoires from inside of the cellar and ask Cadoc to take them back with me. For the next two days I would study harder than I ever had in my life in order to prepare for a fight. I would have to pick two or three books to bring along with me that would be my own companions. I would have to get started soon if I had any hope of sorting through my things before sunrise.

“Stand out here,” I told Cadoc. “I need to gather a few things.”

“Heidi would have better information,” He said. “I remember her well from the war. The little girl with her would be okay, too.”

I walked inside and opened the cellar. I would bring along a few of my knives and craft a new one. Thelma’s order for iron had been made and there were two iron sconces in my room I could melt down. My magic was fickle, and I would have no room for mistakes. I took three feathers I found in Shiloh’s nest on my way out.

“Look,” Cadoc started again once we began the trek back to the village, “I understand why you want to do this by yourself, but at least consider bringing along a friend.”

Annoyed by him bringing it up again, I huffed.

“Do you think I’m too weak to do this on my own?” I challenged.

“Absolutely not,” He sounded so sincere I almost believed him. “I do, however, think you are loyal to a fault. You’re starting to act recklessly for the sake of saving everybody else.”

“Well,” I sighed, “It’s my duty to protect this forest and that includes the people within it.”

It sounded weak even to my own ears. I did not know why the thought bothered me so much, but I had this feeling I needed to go alone. Something was telling me what to do, but I was not sure how to explain this to someone like Cadoc. Elementals were not known for being the most spiritual people out there and I doubted he would understand.

“Tell me, how would your wolf feel about this?”

“He would never allow it,” I replied curtly. “In fact, Jimin would forbid it even if I had an entire army on my side. Overprotective fool.”

“And what does that make you?” Cadoc’s voice had taken on an edge. He was upset with me about this. “A prideful martyr? An overzealous know-it-all?”

I breathed through my nose and tried to keep my temper in check. It has already caused me enough problems. First Namjoon, then Jimin, and now Cadoc? Still, I could not deny that his words cut me more than I thought they would. 

“Are you suicidal or something?” He continued to mock me. “I know you have been through a lot of suffering, and I’m sorry you had to see a friend like that, but you don’t mean to die, do you? You’re much more useful alive.”

My face pinched together, and I threw my hands up. The books in my hands felt like boulders, and they came back down quickly. My eyes stung and I was even angrier by the tears.

“Why does everyone treat me like glass?” I seethed. 

“Do they?” Cadoc dead-panned.

Glaring at the man, I was not happy to shake my head. I was becoming irrational again and I was not sure how to stop it. It was as if I were watching someone else’s life and seeing the world through their eyes. I did not feel like myself.

“But your wolf does?”

I closed my eyes and stopped walking, “Not exactly. I just… I’m tired of being coddled by him. He’s always so kind and understanding, and it makes me feel like I never have to work for anything with him.”

The corners of his mouth lifted slightly, but his eyes remained stony. Cadoc’s eyes were stranger at night than during the day and I was taken aback by the faint shine that came off of them. I could hardly see him once we were in the trees, and I used a flame spell to light our way. The heat felt uncomfortable on my skin, but I tried my best to push through the growing discomfort.

“Does one need to work for love?” He asked.

I pursed my lips, “Everything in life takes work.”

“Sure,” He quipped, “But do you think you have to earn his love? Fight for it or what have you?”

“I-” I stammered. “I thought we all fight for what we want.”

Aldara said anything I ever wanted could only be obtained through hard work. If I wanted to conquer my powers, push my limits, or learn how to make potions then I needed to earn my keep. If I wanted to get better, then I needed to work hard for it. Nothing in life came easy to me, but it did not bother me much. Earning Jimin’s affections would be the same way, and I had plenty to make up for after what happened.

“Do you think Jimin wants you to fight for his love or has he given it to you freely?”

After a beat of silence, I whispered, “He’s always given it freely though I don’t deserve it.”

“Would you like to talk about that?”

I told Cadoc of my nightmares and how the spirits came to me. He did not cut in at any point of my story. When I told him how I cried every night in shame as Jimin held me, he seemed sympathetic, but I hated it. I deserved no one’s pity. This entire situation was my fault. If I had just told my boys, we could have done something. When I said as such, Cadoc scowled at me.

“You can’t seriously believe this is all your fault, can you?” He hissed at me.

“I can and do,” I shot back, my defenses already hackling. “And you can’t attempt to take any of the blame off of my back. I deserve to feel this way, Cadoc. I don’t care what anybody says, if I-”

“You’re throwing your entire life away on a ‘what-if’ scenario?” He growled. “In case you haven’t noticed no matter what you would have done the elves would have attacked. In fact, if they knew the wolves were ready for them it would have been far worse. You can’t change what’s been done, Bridd.”

“But I can atone for it,” I mumbled, the fire within me going out. I was tired again and wanted to fall asleep. I wanted Jimin. 

“I will tell your boyfriend,” Cadoc suddenly threatened. “Unless you allow someone to help you.”

Glowering, I used the last bit of strength I had to shout at him.

“Why are you so pushy?”

“You saved my life,” Cadoc reasoned like it was the most obvious thing ever. “I told you that I owe you, and I think a life for a life is the only real trade off.”

I could see I was not going to win this battle. If he told Jimin there was no way I could leave the village, but if I went without someone else then I was putting them in danger, too. Feeling helpless, I nodded and accepted my fate. What was one more death on my shoulders? I trembled at the thought and forced it away. 

“I have final say in who goes.”

Cadoc smiled triumphantly. I felt sick. Each step felt heavier and heavier, and I knew I would not make it much further. Luckily, the village came into view.

“You have yourself a deal, Bridd. We will decide in two days.”

“Two days,” I affirmed.

I found his home easily. Even with the bungalow in disarray and heavily damaged, I could see the care people had taken in trying to hold it together temporarily. I did not think it would withstand much of anything, but I could hope it would be enough for Jimin to be safe. Other copiae were in the palace as their homes were too damaged. Bo did not want us sleeping under the same roof, so Jimin had to stay out here.

I went to the bedroom window I had flown to all of those months ago. A lot had changed since then. The thought filled me with both joy and pain. Jimin was at his desk again, quill in hand and hair tied up. I loved the way the candles lit his face. 

Cadoc took my things to my room for me. After picking out five of Heidi’s books, one of Griselda’s, and two more of Aldara’s journals, the two of us came back to the village. His powers made gliding soundlessly easy. My bird would never have been able to make that work. Along with the books, I also took my spare trousers, my jewelry box, and my quilts. This room would be mine for a few days and I would make it look as such. I hoped it would bring Jimin comfort in my absence. I knocked on the glass.

Jimin looked at me and stood up. He pointed to the front door, and I walked around the small house. The door was already open and Jimin’s arms outstretched for me. 

“You were gone when I came to check on you,” He said.

I walked into his chest, kicking the door closed behind me, and wrapped myself around him. His warmth was nice, and I breathed him in. I would be away from him for so long…

“I snuck away,” I grinned. “I wanted to get some of my things. Hopefully Bo won’t be too upset with me.”

Jimin chuckled, “Ignore her. She’s hurting and trying to distract herself with other feelings.”

“Like hate?” I rested my chin on his chest and looked up at him. “Disgust? Disdain?”

He kissed my forehead. 

“Jealousy,” He sniffed my hair and stiffened. “You weren’t alone on your outing.”

I shook my head, “No. Cadoc wanted to meet with me regarding some… issues they were having.”

“Can we talk about it?”

I nodded and forced myself out of his arms. I would never be able to focus on anything like this. I yawned but waved off his grooming. Jimin, like everyone else in my life, treated me like a glass house in a tornado. Normally, I appreciated his pampering, but we needed to have a serious talk and it would make me lose my train of thought.

“They believe there’s a whistleblower,” I started, sitting down on his sofa. “Using caves was a risky choice and they’re talking with their Queen about it now.”

“Taehyung and I were talking about that possibility as well,” He mused, looking over at me. “Was that all?”

Again, I was faced with two choices. I could lie to him again and break the trust we share even more, or I could be honest and deal with the possibility of a fight. I did not have the energy for a good one tonight, but I was sure I could gather up the strength to plead my case.

“I might have to do something in the next few days,” I looked at my hands. “It won’t be fun, or easy, but you need to trust me, okay?”

“You need to give trust to get it.”

Looking at him, I was sad to see the defeat in his eyes. Keeping things from him had made this situation so much worse than they should have been. Even if he never admits it, even if we never acknowledged this fact right now, I knew him. He was hurt by me keeping quiet and not trusting him enough to defend the both of us. All this time I was keeping him safe without ever thinking about the fact that he wanted to make sure I was okay, too. Taking a deep breath, I knew what I was about to say would not ease his mind, but I could hope it would ease his worries.

“I can’t tell you much of anything right now,” I grabbed his hand. “I don’t really know enough about it myself, but when I do, I’ll let you know. There are some things I need to figure out first, okay?”

I saw his heart break. His face dropped and his eyes dimmed, but I knew I was doing the right thing. I wanted us to have a good conversation where I could reassure him. Tonight, would not be the right time. I was too tired and emotional for it to work out. I didn’t even know where I was going or who I was going with. I could not let Jimin’s protectiveness get in the way of my mission.

“I can live with that,” He breathed.

“It won’t be like last time,” I promised. 

Jimin looked into my eyes. “You look exhausted.”

Sagging in relief, I allowed Jimin to pick my body up off of the sofa. Setting me down on his make-shift cot, the wolf grabbed my feet and started rubbing my arch. He did not seem to mind the dirt and I was too astonished by his touch to care. It had been so long since anybody had touched me like this. 

“I’m sorry for this morning,” I murmured. “I’m just… so tired. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Lifting my foot, Jimin pressed a kiss to the top of it before dropping it back into his lap. The cot was nothing more than a few blankets stacked one on top of the other, the hard floor uncomfortable on my back, and the thinnest pillow I had ever used to rest my head on. Now, though, I could say I had never been more relaxed before bed.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” He grinned at me. “I love you even when you’re angry and frustrated with the world.”

Choking back a sob, I reached my arms out to him.

“Can you please just hold me? Just for a little while?”

We laid on the ground for the rest of the night, talking and caressing one another. I had missed a lot during my slumber, and I was happy to get the rundown. With Koda’s words from earlier I felt less insecure about our snail’s pace. Jimin truly believed he was honoring me this way and I would let him have this.

“Jimin?” I called out, voice hoarse from overuse.

“Hm?” He hummed, half-asleep and barely able to keep his eyes open.

“I love you too.”

He chuckled, the sound deep in his chest and felt through my entire body. With a kiss to my head, the wolf turned on his side and pulled my back flushed against his chest. His warmth was almost suffocating, and I was happy we had no blanket over the top of us. I would surely be sweating by now. With another kiss to the back of my head, Jimin breathed heavily and then his gentle snores filled the room. That morning, I fell asleep as the sun came up and smiled when I thought of Bo finding my room empty.

Translations:

Socrus - Mother-in-law

Levir - Brother

Mea columba - My Dove

Carissima - Dearest

Disclaimer: I can’t speak Latin at all. I try to research as much as I can, but that doesn’t mean I’m always right. I do attempt to keep it as close as possible without relying on Google Translate (it’s not the best source either). The Lustrian language is a made up language based on Old English. None of it is accurate, but I don’t think that matters all that much.

Taglist: @greezenini @adventures-in-bookland @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @zae007live @jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin @yamekomz @chimthicc @michiiedreamer @amorieus @mima795 @i-never-post-but-i-am-here​

© chimcess, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.

#jimin #jimin fanfiction #jimin fanfic #park jimin fanfic #park jimin fanfiction #bts #bts fic #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts supernatural au #bts scenarios #bts fantasy au #bts werewolf au #bts witch au #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook #hoseok #namjoon #seokjin #yoongi #taehyung #bts abo #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n

[ohtobeleah]

Puzzle Pieces //

Chapter Two: “Fire & Grace” (Hawkeye)

Summary: As Jake is plagued with nightmares of what he thinks will happen when the love of his life wakes up—it’s the total opposite that takes him by surprise.

Warnings: Jake Seresin x Reader (Hawk) Angst. mentions of F-18 crash & injuries sustained from said accident. Hospitalisation. Marriage crisis?

Word Count: 3.1k

Author Note: Ya’ll can thank me for the small about of reprieve you get with this one. Before anyone asks, I wrote the Chaos update before the Hawk update—

Season One of Chaos | Season Two of To Have & To Hold | Season Two Puzzle Pieces |

‘Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favour fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate. To know that for destruction ice Is also great. And would suffice.’ ~ Robert Frost 

“Hey.” It’s the familiar southern drawl of Robert Floyd that’s drawing Jake Seresin back from the ledge he was boarding on. “You doing alright in here?” It’s a straight yes or no question but the answer is nowhere near that simple. It’s four in the morning and Jake hasn’t slept so nice yesterday morning, he’s got six stitches near his temple and a fierce headache that throbs every few seconds. 

“Been better.” Is all the disheveled aviator says back as he grips your hand tight in his. Bradley had brought him a change of clothes, knowing Jake wasn’t leaving your side anytime soon. Never letting his eyes linger away from your face, still and void of any expression as you slept. The anastasia wearing off slowly from the hours upon hours you had been in surgery for. 

Jake sat right at your bedside too afraid to let you go for even a second because in that second you could be ripped away from him. 

“What are you doing here, it's like four in the morning?” He asked with a query in his tone, Jake swore time moved differently inside the Miramar Base Hospital, it was like a damn vortex. Time either stood still or it went by at the blink of an eye. There was no middle ground, no in between, and as he sat there waiting for you to come back to him he felt like time had stopped all together just to reveal in the pain that he felt in his chest. 

“Chaos had an episode—“ Bobs mulling under his breath but Jake catches it clear as day in the silence of the intensive care unit. “Brought Rooster in, thought I’d come sit with Javy.” He was only next door. He’d come out of surgery two hours before you. “Any updates on her leg?” 

“Doc said it’s just a waiting game to see if the surgery takes well, but there’s a chance she still might lose it if the tissue starts to die.” It’s at this point in the meek conversation where Jake looks up, from across the room it’s not hard to tell he’d been crying. Bob wishes he could do more for the family he was watching fall apart, the furnace inside him burning with rage. “If Javy wakes up will you tell him it’s not his fault, any of it.” Jake couldn’t will himself to leave your side. He was far too afraid to move. 

“I doubt he’ll be awake anytime soon but I’ll keep it logged away.” Bob pressed his lips together into a soft smile that disappeared far too quickly. Tapping the doorway three times before carrying on his way to the room just next door. 

He sat with Javy for the better half of the morning. Underestimating just how tired he really had been and for what felt like the millionth time over the past month, found the chair in the corner of the hospital room comfortable enough to curl up on and seek refuge in for a measly few hours rest. 

***~***~***~***~***~

“I know you can’t hear me.” Jake let his head rest against the mattress of the hospital bed you laid on. He’d gently placed your hand against his cheek, your palm resting heavily against the slight scruff covered cheek that faced the ceiling. “But I miss you gorgeous.” He choked back tired tears as he spoke into the void that was eating him alive. “Just need you to know that I'm here for you when you decide to come back to me alright?” 

“What if I don’t want you here?” Your voice was cold as ice as the hairs on the back of Jake's neck stood to attention. “Because of all the people on this earth I'd wanna see right now it’s the person who put me on the F-18.” 

“I know, I’m so sorry baby, you have to believe me.” Jake felt the fire in your gaze buring into him as he sat up, his shoulders slumped as his hair went any which way it wanted. “I didn’t know—“

“You didn’t know what Jake? That I was afraid?” You hissed, raising your voice just enough to make him tense at the thought of you being afraid. “Didn’t know I was terrified of flying and you still pressured me into it?” 

“I don’t blame you for hating me—“ Jake whispered as he held back tears, feeling you rip your hand away from his as he reached for you. “But baby please believe me when I say how sorry I am.” 

“YOU'RE SORRY?” It was the tone you used that sent Jake into the spiral of despair he’d been on the edge of since he watched you and Coyote go down. “I lost my leg because of you, I’ll lose my job, my career! Everything I achieved after I washed my hands of you and your bullshit just to be sucked back in for you to destroy me—“ It was harsh, but none of it wasn’t true. Jake knew it. “I lost everything when I trusted you, I’m glad I don’t remember falling in love with you again, it was clearly the worst mistake I ever made.” 

“Jake.” Another voice broke through the reprimanding you were giving him. More gruff, less strained. “Hangman.” There it was again. Pulling him out of the void as Jake shot up with a slight snore, leaving a pool of drool against the mattress he’d fallen asleep in. Still sitting next to your bedside. “You fell asleep.” Bradley frowned as he stepped back to allow his friend some space. “Thought I’d come down and check in, you alright man?” 

“Peachy—“ Jake groaned as he sat back, wiping the corner of his lips as he turned to look at you. You were still out. He liked this version of you a Lyell of a lot more than the version his nightmares had concocted. “Bob said Chaos has a setback?” 

“Yeah, she’ll be alright though, she’s just now starting to get her memory back in bits and pieces from the crash.” Bradley explained as he walked over to take a look at your chart. “Beck said it’s PTSD and you know how Chaos is when people tell her shit she doesn’t wanna hear.” Bradley mumbled and Jake smiled in response, chuckling for a second because well—Rooster wasn’t wrong. “Says here she’s stable, shouldn’t be too long till she’s back on deck.” 

“Think I’m afraid for the moment that happens if I’m being perfectly honest.” Jake let out a soft nervous laugh as he stood from the chair he’d been sitting in for far too long. “I’ve never been more afraid of losing someone, but I'm not ready man.” Jake just stood at the head of your bed watching as you slept, shaking his head to Will away the tears that just poured freely. 

“Ready for what?” Rooster asked as he did the same, knowing that the positions the two of them found themselves in were eerily similar yet so different at the same time. 

“To find out she knows how to forget me.” Jake's bottom lip quivered at the thought. “I'd rather hear how much she regrets me.” It was hard to admit, but if you asked him to give you up he would in a heartbeat if that meant you were happy. He’d still love you regardless if you were his wife or not. “And pray to God that she never met me, but I can’t hear her say she forgot how much I love her.” 

“Can you two please talk a little quieter?” You mumbled out as you groaned, moving slightly as you lulled your head the other way to stretch your neck. “M’tired.” Jake frowned, immediately turning to Rooster who just turned to him with a shrug before deciding that he didn’t need to be here for this. 

“That an order Commander?” Rooster smirked, knowing your answer would give him some indication of where your headspace was at. Noticing how the corner of your mouth turned in on itself for a split second. “If so I’ll make myself scarce—“

“If it needs to be.” Jake could have lunged at you, but he settled for something less abrasive and rushed around to your side, leaning in and over to place a kiss to your forehead—When you didn’t groan in disgust his heart exploded in his chest. “Hi—“

“How you feeling Mrs Seresin?” Troubled waters can appear calm on the surface, Jake was just waiting for the moment you realised you hated him. Jake was waiting for you to tell him to get the hell away from him, that you didn't want to see him, didn't want to talk, to listen to how sorry he was. 

“Feeling a little groggy from all the pain meds.” You couldn’t really talk properly, your mouth felt so dry. Jake could hear it in your voice as he reached out to hand you the little plastic cup on your bedside. “What have they got me on?” 

“An absolute concoction of pain relief my love but hydromorphone to name just one off the top of my head.” he would take this if everything came crashing down around him. Jake would take this slither of hope that you were still his best girl, his wife, if you remembered how much you loathed him. 

“Huh, no wonder I can't feel my legs.” You sighed, settling back down after having a small sip of water. Jake just smiled at you, tears streaming down his face as Bradley left the room, making sure to turn his head one final time to make sure Jake had at least managed to sit his ass down this time before passing out from the relief of hearing your voice again. “What happened to your forehead?” Reaching out for Jake's cheek he caught your hand his his, pulling it to his lips as he kissed your palm over and over. 

“You don't need to worry about me, pretty girl, I'm far better than alright now that you’re awake.” Jake had grace under fire, you had fire and grace. “I thought I'd lost you.” 

“That easy?” you chuckled softly, it quickly turned into a cough before Jake was sending you a worrying look. “I'm tougher than I look.” 

“The toughest girl I know.” Continuing to kiss your palm over and over again Jake smiled against you. “I will never forgive myself for putting you in this position my love, I just keep thinking if I could take your spot for a day that that would wash all of your problems away.” Jake would give anything to trade places with you, to take all your hurt and all your suffering and carry it on his shoulders. 

“If you were in my place Jake–” Jake didn't let you finish before he was cutting you off. 

“You’d see your fire and grace.” He whispered, leaning in as close as the chair beside your bed would allow him to without physically crawling in beside you. Tubes and wires and monitors surrounded you and he was so afraid that he’d bump something and accidentally send you into a parallel universe far far away from him. “What do you remember baby, I wanna know where that brave and beautiful head is at.” You remembered every single second but you just couldn't bring yourself to say it. In the silence that lingered when neither you nor Jake were speaking, amongst the sounds of your monitors and machines you could hear the sound of all the systems failing as Coyote shouted at you to eject. 

“Coyote? Is he alright–?” Even on your own deathbed you were worrying about others. Jake couldn't love you anymore if he tried to find room in his heart. 

“Doctors say that you saved his life, broke his ribs doing so but you saved his life baby.” Jake explained as he admired you, so broken yet so strong, he could see the light had faded in your eyes but you were still there. “For a while there the medics thought you had amnestic syndrome, you were calling yourself Lieutenant Commander when one of the medics Rach called you Commander and you couldn't remember me, well–us.” You didn't remember that, everything from the time you realised help had arrived to now was still a little blurry, but the accident itself? Every second, every agonising firy moment you could remember as clear as day. “And it's not the hydromorphone that's causing you to not feel your legs baby.” Jake sighed as he looked at you looking at him like you could take anything he was about to tell you. How you and Choas had managed to overcome such fucking adversity and still be the stronger  half of both Jake and Bradley they would never understand. “Doctor Beck thinks that your body shut down from the shock.” Jake had to take a moment to prepare himself for the response he'd get from letting you know you might lose your leg all together. “But if your right leg doesn't come good soon, he might suggest–” 

“Please don't say it.” you interrupted, knowing where Jake was going.” I can handle anything but that.” You were on the verge of tears. “Jake, honey–if I lose my leg I lose my entire career.”

“You almost lost your life and you're worried about your career?” 

“I wouldn't have almost lost my life if you and Coyote would have just backed the fuck off.” Ah. there it was, Jake had expected it to sound cruller and a lot more scathing, but it wasn't. It left your lips softer than he’d anticipated it, wrapped in bubble wrap as if to not wound if fragile estate. “The Navy won't even blink an eye to toss me aside like yesterday's baked goods, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it.” You weren't fighting, or arguing, in fact, you barely had your eyes open as you spoke just above a whisper, still collecting your thoughts and trying to silence the noise of Coyote screaming your name in your head. “Doesn't matter how hard I worked or how much I love what I do, I won't come back from this.” 

You were at war with yourself, Jake could see that as clear as day. You wanted to run before you could crawl and he’d seen a very similar issue in a certain pain in the ass a level above where he was right now. Standing, Jake pulled his dog tags up and over his head before he ever so gently placed them around your neck, Yours had been lost in the crash. 

“You are Commander Y/n Hawkeye Seresin.” He started with a proud chest. “You won’t always be her, hell, one day you might even be chief of the fucking Navy Y/n.” You couldn't help but to laugh for a moment as you thumbed at the two gold rings that Jake had strung around his tags. He had his ring tattooed early into your marriage but he took his physical ring everywhere in the world with him. When he’d had you bloodied and unconscious in his arms he had taken your ring off in case your hand started to swell. Keeping it safe until he found the right time to give it back to you.

“When I married you I promised you in sickness and in health and I meant that baby, I promised that to Ensign Hawkeye Seresin, and now I’m standing here, reminding Commander Seresin that she is and will always be my wife and my best fucking friend before she is ever some ranking official even though I am the most proud of you for everything you achieved after you left my sorry ass behind.” Jake leaned in to kiss your lips, you hummed against him as the oxygen tube slipped slightly. Pushing it back up into your nose as Jake pulled away to continue professing his love, his admiration for you because there was a moment there he thought he'd never get to do that again. “I loved you well before the Navy was ever involved and I will love you well after the Navy is done with us baby.” 

Through a painful sob you just couldn't hold back, you reached out to cup Jake's face as he cried with you, both trying hard to stop your bottom lips from quivering as you asked the one question that had already begun to haunt Jake's nightmares. 

“Why the fuck did you have to put me on that jet baby.” You cried through heartbreaking sobs as Jake let his forehead rest against yours in defeat, leaning over you with his hands on either side of your pillow. His tears falling against your cheek as he shut his eyes tight, mixing with your own. “Why Jake, this is so fucking fucked.” 

“I'm so sorry.” It didn't matter how many times he said it, but Jake Seresin would never ever forgive himself for the decision he made to push you into facing a fear that resided deep inside you since before he could remember. “I’m so sorry—“ He cried like a boy who’d lost his favourite toy, like his entire world had fallen apart, been turned upside down and on its head. “I’m never going to forgive myself, ever, I hope you know that—and I never expect you to forgive me either.” 

You had no idea what tomorrow would bring, or the day after that, or the day after that even. But what you knew for sure was that whatever came your way, Jake was going to be by your side every second. He loved you enough to own his mistakes and he loved you enough to understand that you may never be able to accept his internal apology. But he was here and he was raw and hurting just as much as you. 

“Just promise you won’t leave me.” It was all you could muster, a pleading whisper in hopes that your husband wouldn’t leave you. You knew the statistics—they didn’t sway in your favour. “Don’t leave me Jake, please.” 

Jake didn’t think his heart could break any more than it had been since he watched you fall from grace, but in the moment you begged him to stay he broke in two, completely. Splitting himself in half at the seam. 

“Darlin I’ll never leave you, you’re my fire and grace.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Read Bradley x Chaos POV Here

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Tags: 🏷️ @emma8895eb @shawnsblue @justanothermagicalsara @abaker74 @a-serene-place-to-be @blindedbythelightt @starkleila @luckyladycreator2 @caitsymichelle13 @atarmychick007 @xoxaabs88xox @averyhotchner @mintellaine @onlyheretowastetime @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @avaleineandafryingpan @dracosluvbot-reblog @itsemohours @djs8891

c

#puzzle pieces // jake seresin & bradley bradshaw #jake seresin x f!reader #jake hangman x y/n #jake seresin #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x you #hangman seresin #hangman imagine #hangman x reader #top gun fan fiction #top gun fanfic

[buck-up-buck]

In this post right here I made some crazy predictions about the next four episodes of 9-1-1.

Now I am not saying that they are all correct, BUT I SLAYED the first part legitimately. I fully predicted that Bobby would first meet the Burn Unit Nurse in the hospital after dropping a patient off.

*as per this still we were blessed with today*

NOW, I also predicted a full blown revenge era on behalf of the Burn Unit Nurse which I think we can gather is going to happen thanks to the sneak peek of him chatting to Maddie, I’m assuming nearing the end of the episode.

“The only person responsible is the driver. The rest of us are just cleaning up his mess.”

NOW, I am going to rightfully assume that it was in fact HIM who was in the fire (hence the burns) BUT, I also stand by the fact that he lost someone in that fire. A fiancé or a wife, this is my guess, as per my original post. I am using the line in which he says-

“Although there’ll be days when she probably wished she hadn’t (survived)”

Because it’s one thing surviving something like that fire, but to have lost someone in it too while recovering…

ANYWAY-

My upcoming theories are as follows, take them with a pinch of salt because they may seem very AO3 of me, but I was right about the above so, who knows, right? RIGHT?!

1. Maddie potentially talks about the 118 and their involvement in the accident, triggering something in the nurse to potentially target Buck… again, THIS IS VERY FAR FETCHED BUT YA GURL HAS BEEN DREAMING ABOUT BUCKS LOFT BURNING DOWN SINCE 2019 OKAY, LET ME DREAM.

2. Bobby recognises the Nurse but doesn’t know where from, and the nurse choices not to tell him he knows who he is.

3. We get a flashback of some sort when he see’s Bobby walking into the hospital with the Baby. Either from Bobby or the Nurse, OR a flashback in general triggered by either seeing one or the other.

4. In next week’s episode, Bobby tries to ask him for forgiveness and they have a massive argument. This could potentially be the conflict that Kenneth mentioned Bobby gets into in Episode 8.

5. Athena is worried about Bobby’s involvement with the Nurse and warns him, because she a protective QUEEN.

Anyway… am I crazy or a psychic? You decide.

#911 abc #911 spoilers #season seven theories taking over our life #evan buckley #bobby nash #burn unit nurse #amir #angst #the fire we do not talk about #trauma #bobbys trauma coming to bite him in the ASS #lets burn down bucks loft for the bants #seeing all the shrimp colours #me and my predictions #leah can see the future #am i crazy? #probably #come vibe with me #the clown car saw it first #specifically the unhinged girlies #SLAY

[wellntruly]

Alright as promised, it's: Time, for my

KOREAN WAR F*CKING TIMELINE

This is something I've been working on off & on while watching M*A*S*H these past months. It began as just notes taken from the Wikipedia page "Korean War," then briefly served as a log for all the incongruous mentions of dates or time passage on the show, before I cheerfully abandoned that for something that interested me far more: the M*A*S*H AU where it's set in the Korean War [laugh track].

This is my vision:

June 25, 1950: The conflict known in the U.S. as The Korean War breaks out. First major U.S. troop engagement is in early July. By August, North Korea has taken Seoul, and South Korea and their allied United Nations forces have been pushed south and east nearly into the sea, holding just a small area being called the Pusan Perimeter.

Ten months before the first episode of M*A*S*H, in September, 1950, Army fanboy Frank Burns and draftee surgeon Benjamin Franklin Pierce, both stated to have been there “since almost the beginning” and dealing with each other “forever,” are dispatched to a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital to provide medical aid during the push back out of the Pusan Perimeter, under greatly increased tank and air support. They are under the command of a military doctor we don’t know, but definitely regular Army. It is basically a perpetual bug out: U.S. forces keep advancing north, north, north, take Seoul back and keep going on into North Korea, making it almost to the Yalu River bordering China. Then, on October 19th: China joins the war, and promptly starts bludgeoning them right back south again.

In mid-November, 1950, facing this transformed situation with the Chinese Army’s involvement, the previous CO is taken off to another unit, and I Corps sets up civilian doctor Henry Blake in charge of the floating MASH 4077 unit still being tossed around on the shores of the war, inheriting two very differently rattled surgeons, and packed by the Army in his carry-on luggage, a young clerk fresh out of high school named Walter O’Reilly. That December sees very heavy fighting. It’s a hard winter. On January 4th, 1951, Chinese & North Korean forces re-capture Seoul.

In the first few months of the new year, the 4077 is still mostly just trying to stay above water as the line swings back and forth, but are starting to settle somewhat, geographically, near the 38th parallel. I Corps starts further filling out the unit; in early February, 1951, Margaret Houlihan and Francis Mulcahy arrive together, as she mentions, a career Army head nurse and a volunteer chaplain. On March 14th, the South Korean allies re-take Seoul again, for the final time. In their joy, Margaret and Frank, instantly smitten, officially make it unofficial.

April, 1951: President Truman relieves General MacArthur, and John McIntyre and Maxwell Klinger arrive, with the wildflowers. After the long winter, Henry looks at Hawkeye's shadowed eyes brightening as he and Trapper grin worryingly at each other, and actually breathes a sigh of relief. The fighting is very active that spring, but the casualties are mostly on the North Korean side.

July, 1951, start of the two-year ‘stalemate’ period, in which both armies just kept shooting at each other on a line that hardly moved, and the beginning of the television show M*A*S*H.

Nine months later, another April, 1952: both Henry and Trapper are taken. Henry had been in Korea just under a year and a half; Trapper, as Hawkeye says, lived with him for a year. New (very new) doctor BJ Hunnicutt and two-war veteran CO Sherman T. Potter arrive on their heels. When baby BJ meets a bedraggled Hawkeye Pierce at the Kimpo airfield, he has been a surgeon in the 4077 for 19 months.

Three months later it’s July, 1952, and for Frank Burns, it’s finally the end of the line. He was there two months shy of two years. In the heat of the summer, Charles Emerson Winchester arrives to replace him, for the second half of the two-year period the show covers, and the final year of the war. Mapped onto this timeline, Margaret’s entire relationship with Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott lasts about two and a half months. I’m proud of many things in this timeline, but this might be funniest and most true.

The Korean War will end by the time we reach the next July. Halfway through, in January, 1953, Radar goes home. Corporal O’Reilly ran this MASH for 2 years and 2 months, and when he goes, it’s immediately clear he took half its heart with him. Klinger dons fatigues and takes on the role of company clerk for the 6 months that remain.

Armistice is signed on July 27, 1953. Charles would have been there one year, BJ and Potter 16 months, Klinger 2 years and 4 months, Margaret 2 years and 6, and Hawkeye: 2 years and 10.

#M*A*S*H #M*A*S*H hours #kinda literally this time #anyway tag yourself I'm the winter of 1950 :)))

[prpfs]

🌘22 F, EST🌒, looking for an 20+ partner to write m/m or f/f omegaverse with. Right now I’m looking for ocxoc with fandomless setting. I’ve been craving something historical with a bit of an extra twist, maybe a fantasy theme or something abit more like a role reversal. But I could be talked into a modern setting. I’m more than open to discussing things and hearing ideas or pulling in other things like fantasy themes. I’d like to play the omega in whatever scenario we go with… Open to nontraditional power dynamics. This will be a multi para/lit rp with nsfw themes. No hard limits🍪

If you’re interested or anything catches your eye, you can message me on here, like and I’ll reach out or hit me up on discord at notarealvampire

850 A.D. Europe- Something that seriously involves the tension that was going on between the Vikings and English during the time, like a Romeo and Juliet style relationship, something forbidden and kept under wraps that fits in with the time period. Possibly between a Warrior/Chieftain/Seer from a Viking clan and a Royal/Knight/Religious figure in the local area.

1350 A.D. England- Heavily involving the Bubonic Plague/Black Plague, potential dark themes. Maybe a couple/pair of friends (turned lovers) trying to escape an infected/quarantined area before they get ill or are mistaken as such and killed. Or a traveler/bandit that is taking advantage of the ongoing plague and looting abandoned/burned out homes and castles for any left behind treasures but stumbles upon someone who was left behind instead. Possibly infected? Or has some sort of other issue that would’ve caused their group/family to abandon them, ie. blind, deaf, mute, missing a limb, etc. Traveler/bandit takes pity on the forgotten soul and brings them along with them on their way, recruiting them as company/an accomplice and eventually feelings form.

1793 A.D. France- Something heavily involving the French Revolution, potential dark themes. Two young royals/aristocrats hiding and trying to flee France before they lose their lives and potentially their heads, being from the mobs that roam the streets and trying to blend in but struggling to due to never having mingled with the lower classes. Them eventually escaping to neighboring country for refuge or finding somewhere in the French country side to hide. Or a young royal/aristocrat (possibly from a arranged marriage?) being the only one to escape alive from the raid on their castle/home, is found either still hiding in the building by one of the mob that takes pity on them and sneaks them out or is found out on the woods/city by someone who helps them hide. Maybe they try to flee together or hide in plain sight.. Enemies to lovers or something of the sort.

1940’s Europe- Heavily involving World War 2, potential dark themes. Towards the beginning of the war a Red Cross nurse stationed at the front lines for medical support, the field hospital is attacked while vulnerable and a unit that was coming in from the front lines or passing through to their next assignment witnesses the attack or catches news and rushes to their aid. A soldier finds the nurse in the rubble and ends up saving their life, but sadly can’t stay by their side since they have stay with their unit, a lasting impression is made though and one keeps the other’s pocket watch /handkerchief as a reminder. They meet again towards the end of the war when the soldier's unit is stationed near the Red Cross field hospital and recognize each other. Something from friends to lovers, hiding from superiors and other soldiers/nurses. Possible time skip to after the war, going home together and struggling to settle into civilian life after everything they’ve seen.

Modern/Futuristic- Not exactly sure… But something post apocalyptic or modern fantasy would be great. Not really leaning towards a modern setting but I’m more than willing to brainstorm and come up with an idea together if this is something you’re interested in

like if you're interested and op will get back to you

#20+ rp #mxm rp #fxf rp #omegaverse rp #original rp #historical rp #dead dove

[stwritings]

Funny Seeing You Here

Synopsis

Long time in-patient y/n was looking forward to her upcoming discharge date from the Hawkins Memorial Hospital. That is, until she became acquainted with an unlikely familiar face, Eddie Munson.

Author’s Note

This is a fix it fic following Stranger Things season 4, volume 2. In this fic, we’re going to forget the fact that the Duffer Brothers decided to delete Eddie from the series. :-) These events take place after the battle in the upside down. I’m also choosing to change the ending of season 4 by having the issue with the upside down resolved, therefore, Hawkins is not plagued by the massive earthquake that resulted in new portals being opened.

What To Expect

Slow burn, angst with a happy ending, fluff, smut in later chapters. ♡

Series Warnings

Mentions of mental health struggles, SMUT (in the later chapters, 18+ to read this story), angst with a happy ending, canon-typical violence.

Chapter 2

It wasn’t long after witnessing the police and paramedics storming through the hallways that y/n was ushered away to her scheduled afternoon group therapy session. She normally participated a lot and contributed to the conversations, but today was different. She was so intrigued by the earlier events that had unfolded before her that she was really struggling to focus on the mundane discourse that her daily discussions entailed. It’s safe to say, today’s session was a write off.

Once the discussion concluded, she didn’t waste a second getting out of the there to rush back to her unit, in search of Wayne. She was hoping he could provide more details on the mysterious patient her mind was consumed by. Despite the strict privacy policy the hospital enforced, Wayne and y/n we’re close and would often discuss the latest hospital gossip together. Although they did enjoy discussing the events that would take place, whenever y/n would inquire about an incident, Wayne would always refrain from using names, not wanting to leak sensitive information. She admired that about him and thought it was quite respectful. He showed more discretion than most of the staff did.

While making her rounds around the unit, she finally caught up to him in the hallway.

“Wayne! Hi!” She blurted out at the first sight of him.

“Good afternoon, y/n. Quite the energy you’ve got today!” He replied, a bit wide-eyed. “How was your group session?” He asked, somewhat perplexed by her eagerness.

“Good, we uh… It was good!”

He gave her a bit of a smirk, accompanied by a side eye. “That’s good to hear!”

As Wayne started to turn away, redirecting his attention to the clipboard he was holding, probably wanting to complete some forms he would often be working on, y/n interjected again.

“So uh, apparently there was some commotion over in the emergency department earlier today!” Dang… That came off more abruptly than she had hoped it would.

“Oh?” Wayne responded, his curiosity getting the best of him as he set down the clipboard on the nearest table.

“You didn’t hear?” y/n continued “Apparently a ton of police officers rushed into the ER with paramedics and a patient!”

Wayne looked perplexed, which wasn’t a good sign. Usually he would entertain y/n with additional information he had on the matter, but this time, he didn’t seem to know anything about this incident.

Crap. She was really hoping to learn more.

“That is interesting, you’ll have to fill me in when you hear more about it!” He said, picking the clipboard up from the table and smiling before redirecting his attention to the paper.

A dead end. Maybe y/n would have better luck hearing about what happened through the grapevine.

_

The next few days were rather uneventful. Same routine, different day. Y/n was starting to lose interest and forget about the incident, until she overheard a couple of nurses quietly talking by the water fountain near her room.

“I can’t believe they finally caught him!”

“Well, it’s about time, could you imagine what more he could have done had he still been on the run!”

Her eyes shot up from the book she was reading and she froze, focusing all her attention on the conversation that was being held no less than 10 feet from her room.

“I just don’t feel safe with him here, did you hear what he did to that poor cheerleader? It’s only a matter of time before he does that to one of us.”

Suddenly, it clicked.

Eddie Munson.

She remembered initially hearing about this story.

Although there weren’t any televisions in her unit, Wayne was pretty good at keeping her up to date on the latest news around town. The most recent buzz worthy story she had been informed on was that of Eddie Munson; the suspected cult leader of Hawkins, wanted for the murder of Chrissy Cunningham.

She was genuinely at a loss for words. I mean, it’s not everyday you hear about a crime of this caliber happening in your hometown, especially involving a suspect you know. From what she had heard from Wayne, the media was in a frenzy, perpetuating so many narratives on Eddie Munson and this so-called cult he was running.

Y/n had gone to school with Eddie, in fact, they were the same age. She first became familiar with him in their history class where he was sitting across from her.

Sure, Eddie was eccentric, but he was certainly no murderer. At least, as far as she could tell. She couldn’t remember what was said, but they had exchanged a few words from time to time, most likely regarding homework assignments, to which he was always very kind and forthright. She couldn’t help but think that these rumors of him being affiliated with satanism were most likely due to his interest in playing Dungeons and Dragons, as well as his fondness of metal music.

Now, it had been a long time since y/n had played D&D, and her memory of the rules were rather hazy, but she did remember what pleasure and fun she had playing the game at the time. She was also a metal enthusiast, having quite the cassette tape collection. This allowed her to empathize with Eddie, as she had experienced firsthand the judgment and disapproval that came with listening to this kind of music. Despite this, she had to admit, she couldn’t truly put herself in Eddie’s shoes as her interest in metal music was more of a well-kept secret, only discovered by her parents overhearing the tunes coming from her bedroom speakers, or her friends spotting the Iron Maiden cassette tape playing on her Walkman.

Through her similar experiences and brief encounters with him, she had a hard time believing Eddie was capable of such atrocities and instead, wrote it off as a product of the Satanic Panic. He was, after all, the perfect candidate for such accusations. From his bold, provocative appearance and personality to his non-conforming interests, it was no surprise he was the target of such hate.

Her ears were peeled more than ever as she started getting up from her bed to carefully walk towards the door, hoping to get more information from the conversation going on regarding Eddie.

“If that Manson kid even steps foot near me, I swear I’ll-“

“Munson” y/n blurted out. As the words left her lips, she realized that she had intended for his name to remain an internal thought.

The nurses turned over quickly; eyes as wide as can be.

“What was that, dear?” One asked, trying to play it off as if they hadn't just been caught gossiping about a patient.

“His name is Munson I’m pretty sure, not Manson…” She sheepishly said, cursing her tongue for betraying her in a moment that was meant to be strictly observatory.

The nurses quickly exchanged glances before parting ways, leaving y/n alone to wonder what the full story was, and how this so-called “murderer” ended up here in such a battered state.

_

Chapter 3

Let me know what you think & if you’re interested in being on my tag list ♡

#eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson series #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #fx it fic #slow burn fic #st 4 fix it fic #stranger things s4 #stranger things netflix #stranger things eddie #fluff #angst #eddie munson fanfiic #funnyseeingyouhere

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x reader)

Words: 1204 (chapter 4)

Summary:

You and Matt met in the courtroom. Now, you may think that Matt was a knight in shining armour and defended you in the name of all United States laws, but that was not the case. Matt was totally destroying your client, and you wanted to tear him into pieces right then and right there, because with Murdock as your rival, your head is on the firm's plate with each case. Did Matt care? No, he only cared about bringing justice, he was a human-machine, driven by the need to bring righteousness no matter the cost. Or was he just that? UPDATES EVERY FRIDAY

Find my other accounts on ao3 and wattpad under the same name <3  

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1rSoldierSince2012

wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/1rsoldierSince2012

4. Shadows of the Past

A shadow passes somewhere on the roof, unnoticed by the three men.

"Listen, dude, I told you, I'm out of the stock tonight. I'm getting something on Tuesday but Lil Marco is not someone to be trusted on the business." A guy with a brown jacket leans on the doors of the shabby motel and inhales the cigarette smoke.

"Yeah, Marco ain't the man. We gotta replace him." Another man with long, greasy hair nods aggressively, smoking as well.

"No other idiot would want to risk his ass when the cops keep sniffing everything around. Marco will deliver it on Tuesday, my word." The bald guy puts his phone in the pocket of his jeans and drops the cigarette on the ground.

"Ay, listen, man, what happened to you?" The brown jacket guy points to the bald man's cheek.

"Some crazy chick wanted to burn a hole in my face." The latter spits.

"Eh, Jeff, that's shitty man. Did you get back at her?" Greasy hair asks, looking very interested in the sudden change of the topic.

"Yeah," Jeff blows a raspberry, "of course. That bitch will have to wear makeup for the rest of her life."

"Damn, right. Can't let them get on your head. I swear, they keep getting crazier and crazier." Greasy hair laughs, also dropping his cigarette on the ground.

"Alright, gentlemen, see you on Tuesday. If Marco ain't delivering that cocaine, I'm going to hang him on his balls." Brown jacket looks around a couple of times and the gets inside, closing the door quickly.

"Aight man, don't get yourself killed, or burned." Greasy hair taps Jeff's shoulder and disappears behind the garbage cans.

"Fucking idiots." Jeff mutters and gets going, whistling under his breath. Upon reaching a tunnel that takes a sharp turn left, he is met with a fist to the face and, shocked, drops to the ground.

"Hey, Jeff." a gruff voice says out of nowhere, and just a second later, regaining his sight, Jeff notices a man dressed in black.

"What do you want? Who are you?" Jeff backs up into the wall, hands spread out, gripping the cold stone.

"It's not nice, lying, Jeff. It's also not nice harassing women." Matt throws another punch, this time to the stomach, and Jeff drops to his knees, groaning loudly.

"Leave me alone, you freak!" he rasps out, feeling as if the organs inside of him have been rearranged.

"Like you left that girl near the bar alone?" Matt grabs him by the collar of his jacket. "Delivering drugs? I wonder how many years you and your pathetic friends would get behind the bars." Matt punches him again, aiming at his face, which soon becomes all bloody.

"I swear I'm not in this shit, just let me go."

"I think, Jeff, you'd look nice in a hospital bed." Matt punches him again, and again, letting out the rage he kept since the accident in the bar. Jeff barely makes a sentence, spitting blood and a couple of teeth out, desperately gripping Matt's leg. "I ever see you out there doing shit again, I'm not going to be so merciful, you trash." Matt pushes him to the ground with force, hearing how Jeff struggles to breathe in, almost choking on his blood, and a look of disgust paints his face. On his way out of the tunnel, Matt kicks Jeff in the leg, earning another pained groan.

Devil's job was done, but Hell's Kitchen never sleeps.

*** You sleep restlessly, tossing and turning in your bed, feeling as if every piece of material of your mattress is burning your skin.

Weird thoughts reach you in your dream, but you can't make the sense of them. Living in the world of Avengers with alien threats hasn't made your life easier. When you weren't busying yourself with all the paperwork and cases, intrusive thoughts crawled in your head, and you felt like this hour was going to be your last one on Earth, and any minute a huge alien ship was going to land on your firm's roof and destroy the whole Manhattan.

You sit up and look at your hands in the darkness, illuminated by the shy lights of the city that reach your bedroom. For a split second there's something dark on them, a red color, dripping on your white covers and thus, destroying them. You feel the sensation of thickness on your palms and blink a couple of times. Everything returns back to normal again. Sighing loudly, you fall back onto your pillow, and rub your eyes furiously until you begin seeing stars and dots. Drinking nights were not the best, especially when you didn't have where to put the suddenly built-up energy that alcohol gave you a couple of hours after drinking.

You felt like you could run the marathon or punch someone in the throat. Like that guy outside Josie's. Maybe you should really invest into a pepper spray.

You felt the sudden urge to call your parents. Your dad, mostly. He was the one who expressed his feelings through mostly silent nods of approval or disappointed shakes of his head. He was the one who made you the person you are now. Someone who puts feelings in the last place. And you saw nothing wrong with it. If it didn't involve you, it wasn't your problem. Maybe that was one of the factors that played a big role in you getting a job in Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz. The other one was your daddy's money.

Retired at the 'young' age of 50, the former head of police department, and brilliant detective did what every parent would do - anything for his child. You felt like you were in eternal debt to him, but you knew deep inside - he wouldn't hesitate to do the same again. He inspired you to choose lawyer's career, to establish yourself in the field and earn a good name for yourself. Your mother was just proud of her child and was a typical housewife - phenomenal cooking skills and never ending bag of hugs and kisses. And not a very useful advice, pulled straight from the heart.

You never wanted to be like her. You desired to be like your dad. Respected, trusted and Stoic. And that's exactly what you became. Or were trying to become. Although, Matt's words about your lack of compassion really didn't make things better.

Why did you care about what that catholic guy said about you? You never cared about what anyone had to say about you. Well, at first you did, until you... Didn't.

Maybe this was because Matt took a punch to his face? He didn't have to. You were perfectly handling things yourself. Probably.

You toss to the other side of the bed, cursing how big it is. Since your return to Hell's Kitchen, you lived alone, in this huge bed. Maybe you should really adopt a cat. Someone to keep you company in nights like this.

Uneasy feeling fills your chest. Something had happened. Something the news will talk about this week. The beginning of something much, much bigger.

While you finally succumb to sleep, Matt makes his way to the church. Ready to pour out his heart in a confession. Because Father is the only one he trusts with his deepest secrets. For now.

#matt murdock #matthew murdock #matt murdock x reader #matts superhearing complicates things for you #marvel daredevil #daredevil #netflix daredevil #bound by law #marvel #lawyers #foggy nelson

[homomenhommes]

THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more …

c.500 – Today the Christian church honours the feast day of St Galla (d.550), a Roman nun of the turn of the 6th century. What makes her of particular interest to gay people today, is her intimate friendship and devoted attention to her colleague, the nun Benedicta. This devotion was so intense, that according to legend, in answer to prayer, they were permitted to die together, so as to avoid being separated even for a moment of eternity.

In his Dialogues, Pope Saint Gregory the Great speaks of a holy woman of Rome named Galla, who had been married for less than a year when her husband died. Refusing to remarry, the young widow resolved to devote the rest of her life to God. To protect her beauty againt men's attention, it is said she disguised herself as a man and God gave her a beard.

Joining with a community of women living near St. Peter's Basilica, caring for the poor and sick, this wealthy and pious woman founded a convent and a hospital. She is reputed to have once healed a young deaf and mute girl by blessing some water, and having the girl drink from it.

As she lay stricken with breast cancer, Galla kept two candles burning each night at the foot of her bed, for Gregory explains, "She hated darkness, being a friend of light, physical as well as spiritual light."

It was between these two candles that one night the Apostle Saint Peter appeared in a vision to Galla. The dying woman asked him: "Have my sins been forgiven?"

Smiling, Peter nodded yes and answered, "They are forgiven. Come."

But Saint Galla now requested, "I beg you to let Sister Benedicta come with me."

Peter told her, "Sister Benedicta will follow you in thirty days." Three days later, Galla died, and a month later, Benedicta.

Their story (or myth) is an important reminder that for all the modern Church's opposition to homosexuality, the record shows that same-sex couples and queer saints, nuns, priests, bishops, and popes have always been present, throughout Church history.

1984 – Odin Biron is an American actor living in Moscow and Minneapolis. While not well-known in the United States, he is best-known in Russia for playing the character Dr Phil Richards in the popular medical sitcom, Interns.

Born in Duluth, Minnesota, Biron grew up nearby in rural Minnesota, moving to Ann Arbor, Michigan, with his mother after his parents' divorce. While studying at the University of Michigan, he studied at the Moscow Art Theatre on student exchange and was, unusually, invited to stay and join the incoming Russian class. In one of his final student roles, he won an award for his portrayal of Hamlet in a production that toured to New York's Baryshnikov Arts Center.

Landing a role in Interns, a top-rated Russian medical sitcom, in 2006 raised Biron's profile substantially and he has spoken about being recognised in nightclubs and avoiding "celebrity events" as a result. In a country where a large majority of the population view the United States "badly" or "very badly", Biron is one of a few Americans in the public eye, yet the success of Interns has led to Biron being considered a heartthrob and very popular.

Biron came out to his parents as a teenager and made no big secret of his homosexuality, but Russia is very socially conservative on LGBT rights, with hostility towards legal recognition of same-sex marriage and support for laws discriminating against LGBT people. His character on Interns was raised by two gay fathers, though the treatment of the issue of sexuality on the show has been described as reinforcing the Soviet idea that homosexuality is a product of Western moral decay, rather than being used to promote more liberal values.

It is very common for LGBT performers in Russia to avoid coming out, with an unspoken don't ask, don't tell arrangement between the entertainment industry and the mainstream press. After the passage of 2013's Russian LGBT propaganda law, Biron's Interns co-star and former Orthodox priest Ivan Okhlobystin made international news with genocidally homophobic remarks made in a December 2013 talk in Novosibirsk, leading Biron to consider leaving the show and Russian TV altogether. As a result, he came out in an interview with New York magazine in early 2015, to mixed reactions, reported in the Russian press accompanied by mentions of Okhlobystin's remarks. After an initial reaction leaving Biron with "a sense of physical danger, political danger", he initially left Russia. He returned later without any apparent negative effect on his career, though his friendship with Okhlobystin had become untenable after the former priest's reaction describing him as a "pervert" and a "sodomite".

Biron lived in Moscow with his boyfriend, a Kazakh film director. In an interview with Minnesota's Star Tribune in May 2015, however, he mentioned that he was back in the United States permanently and, as well as acting, was pursuing a Le Cordon Bleu culinary degree.

1840 – John Addington Symonds (d.1893) was an English poet and literary critic. Although he married and had a family, he was an early advocate of male love (homosexuality), which he believed could include pederastic as well as egalitarian relationships. He referred to it as l'amour de l'impossible (love of the impossible). A cultural historian, he was known for his work on the Renaissance, as well as numerous biographies about writers and artists. He also wrote much poetry inspired by his homosexual affairs.

John Symonds was born at Bristol, England in 1840. Considered delicate, the younger Symonds did not take part in games after age 14 at Harrow School, and he showed no particular promise as a scholar.

In January 1858 Symonds received a letter from his friend Alfred Pretor, telling of Pretor's affair with their headmaster, Charles John Vaughan. Symonds was shocked and disgusted, feelings complicated by his growing awareness of his own homosexuality. He did not mention the incident for more than a year until, in 1859 and a student at Oxford University, he told the story to John Conington, the Latin professor. Conington encouraged Symonds to tell his father about his friend's affair, and the senior Symonds forced Vaughan to resign from Harrow. Pretor was angered by the younger man's part and never spoke to Symonds again.

In the fall of 1858, Symonds went to Balliol College, Oxford. In spring of that same year, he fell in love with Willie Dyer, a Bristol choirboy three years younger. They engaged in a chaste love affair that lasted a year, until broken up by the senior Symonds. The friendship continued for several years afterward, until at least 1864. Dyer became organist and choirmaster of St Nicholas' Church, Bristol.

In 1862, an accusation of misconduct caused a nervous breakdown and a rest trip to Switzerland where he met his wife to be, whom he married in 1864.

In 1868, Symonds met and fell in love with Norman Moor, a youth about to go up to Oxford, who became his pupil. Their affair, erotic and sensual but kept short of coitus, lasted four years. According to Symonds' diary of 28 January 1870, "I stripped him naked and fed sight, touch and mouth on these things." The relationship occupied a good part of his time. (On one occasion he left his family and travelled to Italy and Switzerland with Moor.) It also inspired his most productive period of writing poetry, published in 1880 as New and Old: A Volume of Verse.

While the taboos of Victorian England prevented Symonds from speaking openly about homosexuality, his works published for a general audience contained strong implications and some of the first direct references to male-male sexual love in English literature. For example, in "The Meeting of David and Jonathan", from 1878, Jonathan takes David "In his arms of strength / [and] in that kiss / Soul into soul was knit and bliss to bliss".

The same year, his translations of Michelangelo's sonnets to the painter's beloved Tommaso Cavalieri restore the male pronouns which had been made female by previous editors. By the end of his life, Symonds' homosexuality had become an open secret in Victorian literary and cultural circles.

Simultaneously to these widely available works, Symonds was writing, privately publishing and distributing more candid writings about homosexuality. As well as a large number of poems written throughout the 1860s and 1870s, Symonds wrote one of the first essays in defense of homosexuality in the English language, A Problem in Greek Ethics, in 1883. A follow-up essay from 1891, A Problem in Modern Ethics, includes proposals for reforming anti-homosexual legislation.

1924 – On this date the Chilean writer Jose Donoso was born (d.1996). He lived most of his life in Chile, although he spent some years in self-imposed exile in Mexico, the United States (Iowa) and Spain. After 1973, he claimed his exile was a form of protest against the dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet.

Donoso was the author of a number of remarkable stories and novels, which contributed greatly to the Latin American literary boom and the foundation of the literary movement known as Magical Realism. His best known works include the novels Coronación, El lugar sin límites (The Place Without Limits) and El obsceno pájaro de la noche (The Obscene Bird of Night). His works deal with a number of themes, including sexuality and psychology, and are often darkly humorous. He is also considered an innovative stylist.

After his death his personal papers at the Iowa Writers' Workshop revealed an active sex life and the fact of Donoso's homosexuality. It came as a shock to some in Latin America's intelligentsia that one of the great writers of the 20th century was in fact Gay.

1513 – Spanish conquistador Vasco Nunez de Balboa discovered what he claimed was a colony of cross-dressing males in present day Panama. It was reported that he massacred them.

1659 – Richard Berry is banished from Plymouth Colony, after his third arrest on various homosexual sex charges.

1969 – The Washington Blade publishes its first issue. At that time it was called The Gay Blade and contained hard hitting journalism and gay activism.

[bunnakit]

what are your top 5 movie recommendations?

EYY ok im a terrible person to ask because i absolutely do not watch movies unless forced to at gunpoint and most of them are not queer SO here's just like... my 5 fav movies i guess lmao

THE JACKET (2005) dir. John Maybury 🌸

(hey my first non-bl related gif!)

The narrative is a time slip fantasy in which a Gulf War veteran who suffered a death or near-death experience while on active service returns to the United States where he is blamed for the death of a policeman, and incarcerated in a hospital for the criminally insane. Subject to experimental treatments there, which involve him being shut inside a morgue casket while tied in a straitjacket, he eventually learns to travel through time and is able to offer help to various people.

i watched this in high school one lazy afternoon with my mom and became obsessed. i don't think it did well? or was really on anyone's radar? but Keira Knightley is fucking gorgeous in it as is Adrien Brody - both of which i had massive crushes on back then. it's definitely HEAVY and darker, obviously, and has a bit of an open ending but i eat that shit up.

"The important thing in life is to believe that while you're alive it's never too late."

PROMARE (2019) dir. Hiroyuki Imaishi 🌸

Thirty years has passed since the appearance of the Burnish, a race of flame-wielding mutant beings, who destroyed half of the world with fire. When a new group of aggressive mutants calling themselves Mad Burnish appears, the epic battle between Galo Thymos, a new member of the anti-Burnish rescue team Burning Rescue, and Lio Fotia, the leader of Mad Burnish begins.

i've watched promare an embarrassing amount of times, but hey, it's actually a little queer so there's that! the synopsis is just a drop in the hat of what the movie actually is. we love anarchist rebels and advocates for equal rights (and enemies to lovers between a smol angry rebel and a big lovable himbo.) small note - we lost Galo's english VA, Billy Kametz, last year to his battle with cancer. he played a huge role in a lot of my favorite shows and games and it really broke my heart.

DRAGONHEART (1996) dir. Rob Cohen 🌸

Sir Bowen, an English knight of "the Old Code", mentors Saxon prince Einon in his ideals to make him a better king than his father Freyne. While suppressing a peasant rebellion, rebels ambush and kill Freyne. Then a young peasant girl named Kara accidentally wounds Einon's heart. Einon's Celtic mother Aislinn has Einon taken before a dragon and asks him to save the boy's life. The dragon makes Einon promise to be a just ruler with honor and replaces Einon's wounded heart with half his own. However, Einon proves more oppressive by enslaving the former rebels that killed his father and forcing them to rebuild a Roman castle. Einon also has Kara's father, who led the insurgents, blinded. Believing the dragon's heart has corrupted Einon, Bowen swears vengeance on him and all dragons by hunting them down.

listen, i'm old okay? i watched this obsessively when i was a kid. i didn't own the VHS, i'm not really sure why? but anytime it was on tv i was glued to it. i think i eventually did record it onto a vhs.

MILK (2008) dir. Gus Van Sant 🌸

In 1972, Harvey Milk and his then-lover Scott Smith leave New York for San Francisco, with Milk determined to accomplish something meaningful in his life. Settling in the Castro District, he opens a camera shop and helps transform the area into a mecca for gays and lesbians. In 1977 he becomes the nation's first openly gay man elected to a notable public office when he wins a seat on the Board of Supervisors. The following year, Dan White kills Milk in cold blood.

i watched this just as i was coming to terms with my own queerness. i wanted to learn more about queer history and this movie came out at the exact perfect time for that. i was a freshman in high school, i'd never heard of Harvey Milk before, but my mom had and she encouraged me to watch it. it got me doing a lot more research into queer history and learning where we came from so while the movie may not be perfect, may not be wholly accurate, i thank it for that.

TITAN A.E. (2000) dir. Don Bluth & Gary Goldman 🌸

"Titan A.E." takes place in the distant future, after Earth has been obliterated by a mysterious alien race known as the Drej. Cale is a human teenager who has been given a mysterious map by his father, leading him on an unforgettable journey.

i am nothing if not an absolute slut for Don Bluth movies. that man illustrated my childhood. as i got older my mom told me about Titan A.E. and said it was a must watch for my nerdy ass. she was correct. it's not the perfect movie but it's a great look at what Don Bluth and Gary Goldman could've done if we'd considered "animation for adults" back then. we're finally getting somewhere with it now, and i like to think we have them to thank in part for that.

also fun story my husband met one of the animators for this film at a party where a lot of people were doing a lot of drugs and he gave him his card AND MY HUSBAND LOST IT

alright anon and friends i hope i haven't ruined your opinion of me with my taste in movies ~ thank you to all the gifmakers that have made gifs of these films, i'm so glad i didn't have to make one for all of them lmao.

#anon my beloved #top 5 #the jacket the movie #promare #dragonheart #milk the movie #harvey milk #titan ae #don bluth #gary goldman #gus van sant #rob cohen #hiroyuki imaishi #john maybury #bunn asks

[mpcedric]

Heart's medicine

starter for the lovely @mpxangela , ✨

🏥 Asclepius General Hospital, Intensive care unit. Room 306.

Only a couple of days passed since he got there and yet it felt like a whole month. Cedric was understanding and considerate towards the nurses and medic's decision to keep him under close monitoring. After all, he had suffered multiple injuries and physical trauma for the last months so until all types of tests and exams were done, there'd be no way Cedric would be allowed out of the hospital.

He was grateful but impatient. There were things Cedric wanted to do, people he wanted to see but such desires weren't possible with his ass attached to the hospital bed. The thought of requesting to call someone passed his mind but once he had the phone in his hand, he realized no numbers of relevant people would return to his mind. Fuck. He would curse internally often these days. The morning started early for him, with further exams being taken even a visit by the hospital's psychologist. It wasn't easy to talk to a whole stranger, so the session was rather pointless at that time.

The frustration was mutual between Cedric and the psychologist, perhaps that was the reason the professional forgot to take his pen with him. And hearing a knock on the door, barely minutes after the doctor left, Cedric assumed they were back to retrieve the item. "Oh come doc, let me have something to draw with." He joked, looking away from the bedroom's door as he put the book away. But as Cedric's eyes landed on the figure near the door, it felt like he forgot to breathe. She was as beautiful as ever, with her delicate features and seemingly caring poise. "Angela, I-" He interrupted himself, trying to sit up as much as he could given his state.

Before he resumed speaking, a thought crossed his mind. Currently, Cedric is a brief example of the man he used to be. His body was much weakened and that could be seen by the amount of bruises, burn marks, and the IVs throughout his arms and face, but also, he was no longer as fit due to the malnourishment he experienced. Cedric wished he could've avoided having Angela see him like that. He felt bad for looking so bad and so frail and hoped he could've spoken to her in different circumstances. But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel a ray of sunshine in his heart by having her around.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you as I promised…" He couldn't think of anything else to say in that moment, Cedric just wanted to hear her. "I'm… a few months late…" He gave her a gentle smile and gestured to invite her to sit on the chair by his bed. "May I treat you with a hospital jelly? It's not as bad as people claim!" Cedric tried to sound comedic, and light-hearted as to try to ease up the circumstances.

#p;:heartsmedicine #mpxangela #//i couldnt think of a decent title

[cmutty]

37 days!

37 days from the time my wife’s water broke, on the Fourth of July, until our 5+ pound baby was finally able to come home. He wasn’t due until 8/30 and we had no reason to believe this third baby would come any earlier than his older brothers (36 and 38 weeks). But early he was and the past month was one of the hardest we’ve ever experienced as a family.

We were visiting family in VT when my wife (Peg) suddenly gave me a look of panic that stopped me in my tracks. I thought I had done or said something wrong but it turned out it was her water breaking at just under 32 weeks. We didn’t panic. She got herself situated in the bathroom while I got the kids situated, called the in-laws to get them home, and hurried to pack stuff so we’d be prepared at the hospital. We kissed the kids goodbye not knowing what awaited us at the hospital.

The UVM medical center emergency room is out of this world. On the way we envisioned a number of burn victims from fire works (it was 7/4) but didn’t have time to inspect the clientele as we were busy getting through security. Thankfully a staff member realized my wife was in labor so she could skip the metal detector…I was less lucky. We were quickly screened and brought to Labor and Delivery where we had a beautiful view of the lake but more importantly confirmed Peg was in labor. We weighed our options with the Drs who thought we could safely drive ourselves to Boston but our receiving hospital (MGH) couldn’t recommend we attempt it. She received the antibiotics to delay labor, the steroids to expedite lung development, and we received a list of hospitals between Burlington and Boston in the event labor progressed and we needed to make an emergency stop. All I could think about was delivering our baby somewhere along 89 in VT or NH which would have been a disaster. Back to the in-laws house to say good bye to everyone (including the older boys) and off we sped back to Boston.

The drive was mostly smooth sailing with the exception of a batch of white out rain near Barre, VT. We couldn’t see the car in front of us for a stretch and I was white knuckled enough driving with a wife in labor. There was no sweeter feeling as checking off each hospital on our list as we got closer to Boston. Our biggest concern was road closures in the city given it was the Fourth of July and the fireworks were 3 hours away. Google delivered us and I dropped Peg off at the front door before parking the car and racing up to Labor and Delivery on the 14th floor.

Turns out this happens often and women end up in an antepartum unit where they’re closely monitored and not able to leave the hospital. Peg’s water broke just before 32 weeks and the goal was to keep her pregnant until 34 weeks. The thinking is, at that gestational age the risks of an infection outweigh the growth benefits of any more time in the womb. So I packed her clothes, bought her a book of NY Times crossword puzzles, and picked up some favorite foods from TJs to last what we hoped would be two weeks.

The best part (for me) was the roommates! Each had their own stories to unpack from the single mom with a boyfriend who got told not to come to the birth, to the mother who claimed to know enough about medicine that she didn’t need to be there, or to the mother of twins who was in and out before visiting hours even came. A tv show, movie, or documentary could be compelling as people try to live with what little privacy a curtain provides. We would cuddle in the hospital bed and try our best to pretend we were the only ones in the room but there were constant reminders of the roommates. We did manage to watch most of Ted Lasso together which was enjoyable and helped pass the time.

Had this been our first pregnancy a two week stay at MGH would have been more “manageable.” But having two kids and a dog at home meant very few opportunities to visit Peg. Thankfully all three were still in VT for the first few days. When Grandma brought them to Brookline she stayed for a couple days. The next week was a struggle! I’ve been a stay at home parent for four years but that doesn’t prepare you for being a single parent with a dog for over a week. Luckily Morgan was scheduled for day camp that week so we had scheduled walks and some structure to the days. The hardest part was we couldn’t find a single baby sitter which meant I was unable to visit Peg during that stretch. But my mom arrived the following week and the boys went off to Maine for a few days and I was able to visit Peg again and be there for the birth.

On 7/19 we hit the 34 week mark and it was on to the induction. I got to the hospital on the early side and the day dragged on as we waited for a room. We kept getting told they were having a busy day on Labor & Delivery and that we were next on the list for an open room. We finally got the call around 5 and were moved to coincidentally the same room our first son was born in. The view of Cambridge and the Charles is remarkable from that side of the building. We were sure to snap a pic of the sunset that evening and settled in for what looked likely to be a long night.

They had used Pitocin for our first two pregnancies and this one would be no different. Pitocin starts and progresses contractions to speed up labor. It was necessary for our first baby as he was 36 weeks when Peg’s water broke and they wanted him out quickly. My wife experienced pre-eclampsia with the second pregnancy so Pitocin was once again necessary. It wasn’t my wife’s plan for this little guy as labor can progress quicker than is comfortable and the side effects post labor can be disorienting while you’re trying to bond with your new baby. It was unfortunately necessary this time too given she was 34 weeks. She looked at me when they connected the IV and said, “I’m in control.” Our mantra for the evening was born and every time she was having a bad contraction or things were feeling difficult we would say together “I am in control.” It seemed to help and like a champ Peg used Nitrous Oxide as her only pain management for the third time. She was in control. The other major difference was a desire to be able to stand which she didn’t get for her second delivery. The flexibility exercises and standing really helped to the point she was dilating and the nurse said, “I don’t want you giving birth to this baby on the floor,” and she was as quick as she could moved back into the bed.

The nurse’s “friends” appeared from nowhere which was good because around 6am the whole thing came to a head. She was fully dilated, ready to push, and he was out and with us in no time. According to the doctor, Morrison practically flew into their arms weighing a monstrous 5lbs and 1oz which we all agreed wasn’t that small for a 34 week old baby. I chose not to cut the cord as I was crying from the pure joy of our ordeal finally being over.

The preemie team and Pediatrician descended upon him to inspect and assess what he needed for care. The Pedi assured me he looked very healthy for his age and even pointed out his testicles had descended which was unusual for that age. They conferred and finally told me he’d be brought to Special Care which is the step down from the NICU but still the appropriate level of care for him given his age. The following hour would be one of the most tumultuous of my life as his health appeared to steadily decline and my wife was wheeled away for an operation.

My wife had a history of a sticky placenta and this one was no different. Removing it requires anesthesia, which Peg hadn’t needed while delivering Morrison but was unavoidable now. I remembered this feeling of fear as I said goodbye to Peg but this time I didn’t want to stay in the delivery room as our son was being wheeled down to Special Care. I followed the bassinet and found it amusing they wheeled the kid whose initials are MM to the O side of the room. Hospitals can’t charge as much for Special Care as they can the NICU which means the former tends to have cozier conditions. This room had 4 babies at varying stages from bassinet only to full on isolette which we would eventually come to accept as our son’s temporary home. Everything seemed normal when we got there and I was feeling optimistic that maybe a few days would be enough for Morrison. I went to check on Peg’s status but the nurse was with her in surgery. I debated waiting but opted to return to our baby. When I got there they had made the decision to deliver low flow oxygen through a tube in his nose. He was not a fan of the tube just like his grandfather and they were constantly replacing and taping it. I returned to Peg’s room but she was still not back from surgery and it was getting to be the point where it seemed like someone would have found me by now had something gone wrong. Within 10 minutes they were rolling her back into the room and a massive sense of relief overcame me to see her again. We caught up on Morrison’s status and I went back down to check on him. This time the NP was delivering CPAP as his lungs weren’t expanding enough to deliver oxygen and I nearly hit the floor at the sight. They suggested I take a seat which I did to try and comprehend what was happening to our baby. I returned to get Peg and bring her down to Morrison, hoping this time there wouldn’t be something new for the nurses to explain. Once she was settled we made the decision that I would drive with Gammie to Maine to pickup the older two boys from Grandma. We decided Gammie should drive since I had not slept as Peg had just be in labor overnight. We got back to Brookline and settled the boys in for the night so I could spend it in the hospital with Peg and Morrison. She was discharged the next day she was finally able to go home to our family except one.

Leaving the hospital without your newborn child has got to be one of the worst feelings of our lives. Having brought two home already there was this sense of abandonment or loss as we got in the car and consoled each other. Getting home was easy, being home must have felt strange for Peg after so much time away. We made a plan to go visit Morrison after the older kids were in bed and packed some things for the car ride. As we got in the car I noticed a missed call from a 617 number and immediately called it back. The caller ID said MGH and we would spend the next few minutes frantically getting different nurses until we finally got some answers. Morrison needed surgery and we needed to get there ASAP if we wanted to see him before he went to the OR.

The drive to MGH would be straight forward for a Saturday night had we not been frantic with fear, guilt, and all the emotions of a parent having just received the call. I dropped Peg off at the door and called grand mothers to let them know what limited info we had at the moment. His nurse had discovered his belly was hard and distended. He likely had a perforation of his intestines and they needed to operate to discover and repair the hole. We were informed that the chief of pediatric surgery was being called in to perform the operation. It should only be a few hours. The anesthesiologist had an accent and it wasn’t long before he noticed my rugby shirt which of course became the topic of conversation. I would have preferred to focus on our son but so it goes. Off he went and we were escorted to what would become his room in the NICU. There Peg could get some sleep and I sat up waiting for news on our son.

The wait was grueling. The Drs had made his operation sound routine but for us it was a life or death situation for our two day old. I remember my brain thinking how was this my fault and why did we think we should have another kid. That said I was reassured he was in the best place for a baby with these conditions and that he was in “good hands.” Around 2am the anesthesiologist was the first to appear with the good news that everything was ok. I woke Peg and he was shortly after wheeled in with what felt like 40 Drs and nurses. The chief found us among the chaos to let us know the operation was successful, the hole was significantly bigger than they had anticipated, and they had removed a section of his intestines to make the repair more secure. They didn’t think it would have a long term impact on his health and there would just be some regular followup to ensure everything is healing. Relief! Once things had calmed down I said goodbye to Peg so someone could be home when the older kids woke up to let them know what had happened while they slept.

The next week in the NICU was a blur. He wouldn’t be allowed to eat for a few days to a week. The intubation tube could come out within a day but he would still need oxygen. We could hold him from time to time and had 24/7 access but it still felt like the nurses were raising our baby. Which was for the best. We came up with a visiting schedule that coincided with Peg’s pumping schedule and the kid’s schedules. My mother left that following Wednesday and Peg’s mother arrived seamlessly that afternoon. That was around the time we started to feed him very small amounts of milk which seemed like a huge milestone for us. The NICU proved to be a rather uneventful experience and we even got a few family visits in.

At the end of that week we had a family meeting where it was clear that Morrison was progressing and could move back to Special Care. One step closer to home! We left as they were just waiting on a bed. That night he was moved to bed M :) While we were excited for the move it meant we would have less accommodations. We still had 24/7 access but what we wanted was for him to come home. Visiting the hospital was beginning to wear on us, more so for Peg, as the weeks were beginning to turn into a month. He would need to be out of the isolette, regulate his body temperature, and able to drink 90% of his milk from a bottle. Anything not finished from a bottle would be fed through a tube in his nose. The next few days would be critical to getting him home based on advice we had received.

A friend who had a 28 week baby a few years ago was advising us through the process from the 4th. His biggest piece of advice was being there and managing the feedings. If we didn’t take the initiative to ensure he drank his entire bottle in the allotted 30 minutes. We (I) took this advice to heart and felt like I needed to do whatever it took to get our son home. Any feeding that only went 20-30% in his mouth felt like a loss as I watched the rest go through a tube. One feeding was not going well as he started to fall asleep with the bottle in his mouth. I did my best to stir him and get him to take the bottle until a nurse noticed and thought he was rejecting and I was forcing the bottle on him. Her reaction to the situation felt blown out of proportion as she started to throw words around like “aversion” and I handed him over to tube feed. I didn’t realize the extent to which I had triggered the nurse until a social worker came in to scold me about our son developing an aversion. They really tried to reinforce that he would develop at his own pace and a switch would flip. I wasn’t impressed and we started to feel like maybe he would be better at another hospital and called our Pediatrician for her advice. She reassured us he was in good hands and broke the news that there would be no transfer. We took a day off from visiting and regrouped to trust and be patient with the process.

The next few days he showed steady progress and we were beginning to feel optimistic! He was getting to 80% and soon the feeding tube would come out to test if he could reach 100%. He passed the test and before we knew it we received the call that he was ready to come home. We dropped Morgan off at robot camp, Malcolm with some close friends, and we were on our way to pickup Morrison who was finally getting discharged…37 days later.

#baby