#bitter than he’ll find someone else and be happier with them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mammonshuman92 · 3 years

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- It Takes Two -

(Mammon x GN!MC)

Genre: angst/hurt/comfort

WARNINGS: alcohol, drunkenness, cheating, **

** There is a moment where a character is drunk, and someone makes moves on them, character is too drunk to realize it’s not who they thought it was. Groping and making out, no penetration; character doesn’t consider is SA. I apologize if it is offensive.

Ya better hurry up, or we’re gonna be late!” Mammon was pulling you by the hand down the hallway to your first class of the day.

“I wasn’t the one who overslept because they kept saying “just lay with me for 5 more minutes.”“ You said, giving your best impression of him.

You’d become best friends rather quickly after your arrival in the Devildom, practically becoming attached at the hip instantly. It didn’t take long for that light, warm feeling to invade your heart. Now you’d been dating for a few months and had become even more inseparable.

“Details, details!” He responded, laughing.

The two of you came barreling through the door with only seconds to spare before the bell rang; hand-in-hand, laughing like fools.

You took your seats across the room from each other, being the professors current punishment for Mammon talking to you during class.

As you sat down you felt eyes on you and looked up.

A few succubi were not so casually looking at you and whispering.

It wasn’t uncommon though. I mean, you are a human in the Devildom. You also live with the 7 rulers of the underworld. You’d gotten quite used to people whispering about you. You decided to ignore them, and pay attention to class. Whatever they were whispering about was surely nothing you hadn’t already heard circulating throughout the gossip mill.

Throughout the day, you noticed the same group of succubi whispering and giving you looks. They even giggled a couple times. You tried your best to keep your cool, but it had been going on all day and it was really getting under your skin.

What is so damn funny? You thought to yourself.

The final bell rang and you couldn’t be happier. Now you got to put the day behind you and go home with Mammon. Tonight is movie night. Cuddling and eating junk food is just what you need after a day like today.

You rushed to the usual spot where you meet Mammon. Seeing his face would definitely make you feel better right now, but he wasn’t there yet.

He must have gotten hung up in class or something.

You leaned against the wall, pulled out your D.D.D. and started surfing Deviltube to pass the time. You were so engrossed in your video that you barely noticed that same group of succubi walk past.

Until they made sure you noticed them, that is.

One girl bumped into you on purpose, sending your D.D.D. to the concrete, via crash-landing.

“Stupid human.” She sneered.

You rolled your eyes and bent down to pick up your D.D.D. It’s nothing you haven’t heard, quite a bit actually, since coming to the Devildom. She’d have to try a lot harder than that.

When you stood back up, the succubus in question was standing in front of you, arms crossed with a smug grin.

“Do you think you’re special?” She asked, looking you up and down. You didn’t respond and resumed your scrolling through Deviltube. Ignoring her made her mad.

“As soon as he gets tired of you, he’ll move on to the next one.”

Excuse me?

“I don’t think MY relationship is any of your concern.” You said sweetly, slapping on your best fake smile. You looked around them, desperate to see Mammon walking up, but he wasn’t there.

Where is he?

She was practically laughing in your face.

“He made me feel special too.” Her words, full of venom as they left her lips, triggered something in your brain.

Flashbacks of your first day in the Devildom came rushing back. Specifically what Satan had said after Mammon made his grand entrance.

“Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. But from what I hear, if he decides to break it off with someone, that wealth evaporates. They’re left without a Grimm to their name.”

The memory made your chest feel heavy.

Could that pertain to people as well? They said a pure soul is like a shiny gem. What if..

“Everything he’s said to you, he probably already said to me.” She spat.

Your head was spinning, a knot forming in your throat. Her earlier words replaying in your mind.

“As soon as he gets tired of you, he’ll move on to the next one.”

What if..? No.. He wouldn’t do that...would he?

You quickly got so lost in thought as anxiety started to take root, plaguing you with ‘what ifs’ and hypotheticals, that you almost didn’t notice when someone stepped between you and the succubus. Putting a hand on either side of your face, he tilted your head up to look at him. Irises the color of tropical waters, instantly melt away your anxiety, calming the angry sea inside you.

“Let’s go home.” He whispered with a smile. His voice was soft, but you could see the anger in his eyes. He slung an arm around your shoulders and turned to start walking toward the House of Lamentation.

“We weren’t done talking.” She said vindictively.

“Don’t ya have anythin’ better to do?” Mammon snarled, glaring at the succubus.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, leaving with her friends.

By the immense tension you could feel between them, you could tell that they had indeed been together at some point.

The walk home was quiet, which left you with ample time for your thoughts to run wild.

Did she know him like you do? His little habits and his favorite things?

Did she stick up for him when his brothers were dogging on him? Or afterward when he was down, did she try her best to drown out their hateful words with affirmations of love?

Did she play with his hair while he laid on her stomach, arms wrapped tight around her middle after he loved her? Hold her in his lap as he rubbed soothing circles on her back when she was sad? Whisper sweet nothings to her when he thought she was asleep?

...Did he love her?

“Whoa! Did ya see that, MC?!”

The two of you were curled up on the couch in Mammon’s room, watching a movie on his projector, just like you did every week.

Did they do movie night?

It shouldn’t be bothering you. Of course he’s had other partners. He’s been alive for thousands of years.

And you’ve had other partners. So what? No biggie. That wasn’t the issue.

The thought of him saying the same things, doing the same things with someone else...loving someone else, is what bothered you. It hurt to think that maybe you really weren’t that special; another weak, insignificant human, just like all the rest.

But the things she said kept playing on a loop in your head.

“As soon as he gets tired of you, he’ll move on to the next one.”

“He made me feel special too.”

Could she be right?

“Babe, are ya okay?” He had paused the movie and was now staring at you expectantly.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah I’m fine.” He saw through it quickly.

“Ya know, you’re not good at lyin’. What’s wrong? If ya don’t like the movie we can watch someth-”

“That girl earlier, at RAD? Is she your ex?” You didn’t want to bring it up, but you had to know before your thoughts could torment you further.

His face fell and he sighed heavily. “I was wonderin’ when you were gonna say somethin’..”

You remained quiet, watching his face, waiting for him to begin talking.

“We were together a long, long, time ago. Nothin’ serious. I broke it off when I realized she was only around for what she could get outta me. She didn’t take it too well.” He explained, his expression turning sour. “She had a different story, huh?”

“She didn’t say much really, except once you get tired of me you’ll move onto the next one. That I’m nothing special because everything you say to me you’ve probably said to her.” You said, keeping your eyes down as you fidget with the hem on your shirt.

He started laughing.

Your head snapped up, looking at him in shock.

“What’s so funny, Mammon?” You asked, getting a little irritated by his reaction. He stopped laughing when he looked at you and realized you were serious.

“Ya don’t actually believe her, do ya?” He scoffed, getting offended.

“No? I don’t know..” You replied, not meeting his gaze. Of course you wanted to believe him, but you already felt like you weren’t good enough for him, and that succubi’s words just watered the seeds of insecurity in your brain and helped them flourish.

You had always been the opposite of his brothers. You always believed Mammon, even when everyone else was against him. You were always on his side. Ready to stick up for him no matter what. To hear you now, was like a slap in the face.

Mammon’s face distorted in pain. And anger.

“What? Whaddya mean ya don’t know?” His voice was soft, “Ya don’t trust me?” He asked, meeting your gaze.

“Mammon, that’s-”

He shook his head. “No, I get it. A few bitter words from some random demon and now my words mean nothin’. “ He jumped up from the couch, making a beeline for the door.

“What about the last few months, huh? After all the time we spent together you think I’d do somethin’ like that to ya?” His voice cracked on the last sentence. He paused; hand on the knob as he stared at the door. You heard a small sniffle as his other hand came up to angrily wipe his face.

“I thought ya knew me better than anyone.” His voice was barely audible, but you could hear the hurt. He felt betrayed.

And with that he left, slamming the door behind him.

When he didn’t come back after an hour and wouldn’t answer your calls, you grabbed a few things and headed to your room. You still felt uneasy about the whole “his ex confronting you” thing and after what had just happened, you just wanted to be alone.

Your bed seemed huge and your room felt odd. It’s not like you didn’t spend time in there anymore, you just didn’t usually do so alone. The silence was deafening.

I shouldn't have doubted him. He used to try and hide his feelings, although he was bad at it. But since we got together, he doesn’t hide how he feels about us to anyone.

You thought of all the times his cheeks had flushed scarlet when you caught him staring at you. How he sits and endures scary movies because they’re your favorite. The way he will randomly bring you your favorite snacks or other little gifts because he was thinking about you. Relentlessly tickling you just to hear your bright, uninhibited laughter. That even in his sleep, he has to be constantly touching some part of you, or he gets restless.

You slowly drifted off to sleep, with tears staining your cheeks.

“Have you seen Mammon?”

He never came looking for you last night and he wasn’t at breakfast. He even skipped RAD.

Asmo shook his head, “Not since yesterday. Did something happen?”

You decided to fill him in with all the details. He is the Avatar of Lust after all, so surely he could give you some advice regarding love.

He gasped dramatically, “No she didn’t! What a tart!”

“I know I shouldn’t have doubted him. He’s never given me a reason to, but I don’t know. She just got in my head, I guess. Poked at some insecurities.” You explained. “I haven’t seen him since he stormed off.”

“He won’t pout for long, he never does.”

“It’s more than just pouting. I hurt him just like everyone else. He feels betrayed.” You said, voice small.

You just wanted to pepper his face with kisses and profusely apologize for ever doubting him. Why did you ever let some random succubus get to you like that? To make your trust for Mammon falter, even slightly. Did you honestly believe he would toss you aside after he got what he could out of you? Really?

Satan said it too though, in the beginning. That when you’re with him you find yourself drowning in gifts and the like, but once he outgrows you, you’re left with nothing. That’s the Greed.

You refuse to accept it though.

You know Mammon, better than anyone. He has changed so much since you came here. He’s not the same demon he used to be. He is more than just his sin.

“When he is ready, he’ll come back. He always does.” Asmo said, placing a hand on your shoulder, giving you a warm smile.

“Now, let’s go and change! You are depressing me and it’s ruining my skin. We are going out tonight!” He was practically vibrating with excitement. You, not so much.

“Ugh, no way Asmo. I’m not in a party mood.”

“Nonsense! It’s exactly what you need. We will have some drinks and dance and you’ll feel better. You’ll see.”

You relented, knowing that once Asmo got his mind set on something like this, there was no getting out of it. Maybe a few drinks really would make you feel better.

“Trouble in paradise?” She said, motioning to the drink in his hand.

His clothes were dishevelled, his hair mussed, eyes red-rimmed and puffy. He looked like he’d been through the wringer. Felt like it too. He’d been in the private lounge at the club for a little while now, nursing drink after drink, attempting to drown his sorrows.

“Go away.” He growled, turning his attention back to his drink.

“Is that anyway to greet an old friend?” She asked innocently.

“Nah, but it is a good way to greet a snake.”

“Ouch.” She put a hand over her heart, feigning hurt feelings.

“Haven’t ya caused enough problems? Leave me alone.”

She scoffed, plopping down onto the couch next to him. “Oh, come on Mammon. You’re this hung up over a human?”

“Don’t talk about MC.” He snarled. In one big gulp, he swallowed the remainder of his drink. No matter what kind of situation the two of you were in, he wouldn’t let someone, anyone, say anything cross about you. At all.

“Oh, come on. You can’t seriously say you don’t miss being with me. A demon.” She leaned in close, her lips next to his ear, “Not nearly as fragile as a human. You can be as rough as you want..” She purred.

He jumped up from where he’d been sitting, attempting to get away from the succubus. “Get the fuc- Whoa.” He slurred, staggering slightly before quickly sitting back down, head lolling back to rest on the back of the couch. His vision was pretty blurry; the room spinning. He closed his eyes, hoping it’d help.

Even in his deeply inebriated state, you were all that was on his mind. The feel of your hand running through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp. The warmth of your body pressed against his, your lips; soft and delicate like rose petals, leaving small kisses across his face before finally meeting his lips. The bubbly sound of your laughter, beautiful like music. The way your eyes shine every time you see him, even if he only left your side for a tiny moment.

After the fight you had and leaving the way he did, and now being away from you a whole day, not hearing your voice, feeling your touch, he was ready to go crazy. And although he did sneak back into the house after he was sure everyone was asleep, and slept in the backseat of his car so no one would find him, it wasn’t the same as sleeping next to you. He missed you.

But, it was more than that. He felt so incredibly stupid for reacting the way he had. If he were in your situation, and felt how you did, he would’ve had questions too. You love him, and all you wanted was a little reassurance that he in fact does love you. Man, does he love you. More than he’s ever loved anyone or anything.

With the attention span of a tuna sandwich, mixed with the levels of alcohol in his system, and being so deep in his thoughts of you, he hadn’t noticed the sudden shift of weight in his lap.

One hand found its way to the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair. The other hand resting on his chest, slowly moving down his stomach, intently feeling every muscle. His mouth opened slightly, a breathy sigh escaping. He had missed you so much, your touch lighting his skin ablaze, craving you more and more.

Your hand moved lower, earnestly caressing his growing stiffness. Your lips crashed into his suddenly; hungrily, your tongue brushing his bottom lip. His hands moved up your thighs before firmly gripping your hips, grinding you against him.

Small alarm bells were going off in his head, something didn’t seem right. You didn’t giggle like you always do when he grabs your hips. Your kisses seemed sloppier than usual too.

He tried opening his eyes, blinking lazily several times. The room was still swirling around in his drunkenness, making it nearly impossible to focus.

Your hand moved to his pants, undoing the button and zipper. He removed a hand from your hip and grabbed your wrist, but didn’t attempt to move your hand from his swollen boxers. As he was about to break the kiss and suggest heading home and picking up with this make up where you left off, he heard a voice nearby.

“What the hell?!” They shrieked.

Asmo?

“Mammon..?” You barely choked out.

That was your voice. He’d recognize it anywhere; the musical sound gently floating into his ears as it always did. But you sounded like you were crying..

And it didn’t come from the figure straddling his lap. How is that possible? He’s been making out with you, getting pretty heated actually, for the last several minutes.

He broke the kiss with you, confusedly turning to his left and blinking several times until his surroundings started to come into focus.

There you stood in the doorway of the private lounge with Asmo next to you, your eyes wide as s tears streamed down your cheeks, gaping at him in horror.

The alarm bells that had been going off, the red flags popping up trying to warn him that something wasn’t quite right, were about to become very clear.

- part two coming soon! -

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me angst #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #mammon x you #mammon x gn!reader #mammon x gn #trigger warning #tw

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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years

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I’m seeing someone

One moment Jiang Cheng’s evening is going fine and in the next his heart is torn to shreds, and all it takes are three words.

“I’m seeing someone,” Nie Mingjue quietly says as he pushes his food around on his plate and Jiang Cheng freezes up completely.

“Oh,” he breathes out, unable to lift his eyes from Nie Mingjue’s senseless movement of his chopsticks.

“Is that—are you okay with that?” Nie Mingjue asks him hesitantly and Jiang Cheng flinches at the question.

Is he—how can Nie Mingjue even ask that of him?

Jiang Cheng tries to bite down the desperate laugh that wants to bubble up and he tries to silence his mind—of course this would happen, he’s never enough, it’s a wonder Nie Mingjue held out for so long anyway—before he plasters a smile to his face.

He just hopes Nie Mingjue doesn’t notice the tears in his eyes or the trembling of his lips.

Jiang Cheng shouldn’t have worried about that, he realizes when he tries to look at Nie Mingjue, because Nie Mingjue is not even looking at him. He’s keeping his eyes down as if he’s expecting Jiang Cheng to lash into him and Jiang Cheng wonders if that would be a more appropriate reaction to this revelation.

“Are you—” Jiang Cheng starts but of course his voice breaks half way through the sentence, so he swallows and tries again. “Are you going to break up with me?”

He’s not sure what answer he wants to hear here, but his hands shake in anticipation nonetheless.

“What? No of course not!” Nie Mingjue immediately rushes out and despite everything Jiang Cheng is relieved.

He’ll have to deal with the fact that Nie Mingjue found someone he loves more, but at least he’s not discarding Jiang Cheng entirely. At least he still wants him close.

“Okay then,” Jiang Cheng whispers, his eyes burning with tears and he finds that he’s not hungry at all anymore.

It had to happen sooner or later—everyone grows tired of Jiang Cheng after a while—but Jiang Cheng had thought they were doing well.

It hasn’t been long since he moved in with Nie Mingjue and he thought he was doing a decent job at supporting Nie Mingjue after his father was murdered but of course he was lacking somewhere.

He was always lacking something after all.

“Alright,” Nie Mingjue says just as quietly and it seems like he isn’t all that hungry anymore either, but they stay at the table, sitting in silence, until long after their food has gone cold.

~*~*~

The knowledge that Nie Mingjue is seeing someone else besides Jiang Cheng sits like a heavy weight in his stomach at all times of the day. There’s not a single moment where Jiang Cheng doesn’t feel like he’s being crushed under it and he wonders if this is really easier than simply breaking up with Nie Mingjue.

But when he thinks about that, thinks about his days without Nie Mingjue, it feels even worse than this. At least like this he still has part of him. It’s better than nothing.

And besides; Nie Mingjue was quick in his answer that he didn’t want to break up with Jiang Cheng. That has to mean something, right? Even if Jiang Cheng alone is no longer enough for him.

Jiang Cheng laughs at his own stupid, foolish thoughts, because of course it only means that Nie Mingjue got used to having him around, that he’s not ready for another big change in his life and Jiang Cheng is sure that he’s simply living on borrowed time here.

Nie Mingjue will realize soon enough that the other person can give him so much more, that Jiang Cheng is useless and a burden and then Jiang Cheng won’t even have him anymore.

It’s not something he’s looking forward to.

~*~*~

Nie Mingjue insists on telling him whenever he goes to meet the other person. Jiang Cheng wonders if he’s doing this on purpose to remind Jiang Cheng time and time again that he’s lacking, that he’s no longer enough to make Nie Mingjue happy, and whenever Nie Mingjue leans down and presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head and then tells him that he’ll be back in two hours it feels like he’s cutting Jiang Cheng wide open.

And yet Jiang Cheng is always there when Nie Mingjue comes back.

He’s too weak to leave and protect himself.

~*~*~

“Hey, are you okay?” Nie Huaisang asks him on the rare occasion that Jiang Cheng agrees to meet with him and Jiang Cheng can’t help the bitter scoff he lets out at that.

“I don’t know,” he then admits in a rare burst of honesty, simply because he’s too tired to lie to Nie Huaisang.

He’s already lying to Nie Mingjue on a daily basis; every time Nie Mingjue asks him if he’s okay, Jiang Cheng lies straight to his face and he finds that he’s too exhausted to do the same to his friend.

“What’s wrong?” Nie Huaisang asks, and he has to know, right?

Surely he has to know that Nie Mingjue is cheating on him.

Is it even cheating if Jiang Cheng knows about it and kind of allows it to happen? Is there even a word for that?

“A-Cheng?” Nie Huaisang asks, the concern clear in his voice when Jiang Cheng doesn’t answer him and Jiang Cheng keeps his eyes on his hands.

“You know, right? That Mingjue is—is seeing someone?” he finally breathes out and it feels like Jiang Cheng’s entire being is bracing for impact.

“Of course I know,” Nie Huaisang immediately says and he sounds happy about it.

Jiang Cheng wants to burrow himself into the ground and never come out again.

“I introduced them,” Nie Huaisang says, and now his voice is proud.

He’s proud about ruining the best thing that ever happened to Jiang Cheng.

“I see,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and he’s itching with the need to get away, to scrub that knowledge out of his brain, but it’s there now and it already has its hooks in the most tender parts of Jiang Cheng.

Not even Nie Huaisang approves of him and Jiang Cheng thought they are friends.

“It’s helping, isn’t it?” Nie Huaisang asks and he doesn’t seem to notice that Jiang Cheng feels like the floor is crumbling under him. “Don’t you think da-ge looks so much better and happier lately?”

Jiang Cheng opens his mouth—he’s not sure if to scream or to answer Nie Huaisang—but no sound comes out.

It feels like he can’t breathe.

“I have to go,” he gets out with much difficulty and he doesn’t give Nie Huaisang enough time to answer. “Bye.”

Jiang Cheng isn’t proud of the fact that he’s running away from his only friend but if he stays he’s going to break down.

And that is something he can absolutely not do. He’s not strong enough to build himself up again afterwards.

~*~*~

Don’t you think da-ge looks so much better and happier lately?

The words rattle around Jiang Cheng’s brain ever since that day he met Nie Huaisang and he can’t make them shut up.

He noticed it too, lately, that Nie Mingjue seems to be in a better mood every week. There are still bad days, of course, so that new person is not a miracle worker, but overall Nie Mingjue does seem happier.

And doesn’t that hurt like hell.

Jiang Cheng wonders what it is he does with that other person that can be achieved in less than the two hours Nie Mingjue meets with them weekly but he finds that he can’t stomach to imagine anything.

The only thing he really can think of them doing is having sex and Jiang Cheng wouldn’t even be able to hold that against Nie Mingjue.

Jiang Cheng knows that his sex-drive is not quite as high as Nie Mingjue’s and while he never thought it to be a problem—Nie Mingjue certainly never said anything like that—maybe that’s all it is.

Maybe it’s just sex.

That—still wouldn’t make it okay, but that would at least be much easier to bear than to have to think about Nie Mingjue kissing someone else and telling them he loves them.

That one is the thought that hurts Jiang Cheng the most.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng is on the couch, trying his best to look like he’s engrossed in his book, so that Nie Mingjue won’t want to disturb him and say goodbye to him.

It’s bad enough that he keeps a regular schedule with his—lover? Affair? Partner? Jiang Cheng still has no clue how to refer to that other person and he knows it shouldn’t bother him that much but it does—but he really doesn’t need to rub it into Jiang Cheng’s face.

It already feels like Jiang Cheng is poking at a still raw wound whenever he thinks about how Nie Mingjue might call that other person when he talks about them to his friends or Nie Huaisang. He doesn’t need Nie Mingjue to make it worse.

Lost in his thoughts, Jiang Cheng allowed his eyes to wander and Nie Mingjue takes it for the invitation is so very much was not meant to be.

“Bye,” he says as he leans down to kiss Jiang Cheng’s forehead, his lips lingering for a moment, and Jiang Cheng’s heart shrivels when he thinks about how Nie Mingjue is going to kiss someone else with them in a few minutes. “I’ll be back in two hours.”

“Can you—not tell me? When you go—do that?” Jiang Cheng croaks out and he’s surprised at his own bravery.

“What?” Nie Mingjue says and he jerks away from Jiang Cheng as if he slapped him.

It’s kind of unfair, Jiang Cheng thinks, and drops his gaze.

“I don’t—want to know,” he gets out before the tears choke him up and even without looking up at Nie Mingjue he can tell that he’s angry.

And he has every right to be. Jiang Cheng just ruined the delicate balance they were maintaining.

“What the hell, Wanyin? You said you are okay with this! You accepted it!” Nie Mingjue almost yells at him and Jiang Cheng closes his eyes.

He feels like he’s going to shatter if he even so much as breathes, but he knows it’s inevitable now. Jiang Cheng ruined it and Nie Mingjue will tell him to finally get lost.

Maybe it’s better that it all ends. Jiang Cheng is tired.

“How could I ever be okay with this?” Jiang Cheng asks him as he scrubs a hand over his face. “But I have to accept it now, don’t I?” A desperate laugh bubbles up from his throat. “There’s nothing else for me to do, after all,” he whispers as he leans over, trying to protect the remnants of his heart even though he knows it’s futile.

There’s nothing left to protect after this.

“So you don’t want me to be better? Is that it?” Nie Mingjue shoots back and he sounds angry now.

Jiang Cheng almost forgot that Nie Mingjue could get this angry, but right now it only fuels Jiang Cheng’s own anger. It’s better than the despair trying to swallow him whole.

“Well, if being with me is so fucking horrible to you, then maybe we should break up after all!” he yells back and his voice rings out in the living-room.

The silence that follows is almost deafening.

“What?” Nie Mingjue whispers and there’s confusion written all over his face. “Why is this about our relationship all of a sudden?”

“All of a sudden,” Jiang Cheng repeats and he clenches his teeth when his eyes start to burn, but this time he’s not strong enough to hold back the tears. “You’re literally about to go out to meet your—whatever they are to you. How is this not about our relationship if you need to date someone on the side?”

Jiang Cheng would like to pretend that he’s strong and that his voice didn’t break on that, but the last words almost crumble in his mouth. The only good thing about this is that there are enough tears flowing down his face that Nie Mingjue is just a blur.

At least he doesn’t have to see him clearly while Nie Mingjue breaks up with him.

“Date someone on the—Wanyin, what the hell are you talking about?” Nie Mingjue asks him and suddenly he’s close, so close, and he’s putting his hands on Jiang Cheng’s arms and it’s enough to break Jiang Cheng.

“Please don’t leave me,” he sobs out and fists his hands in Nie Mingjue’s shirt. “Please, whatever it is that they—I can change. I can do better, I can be whatever you need, just, please,” he begs and he’s too terrified by the prospect of losing Nie Mingjue to feel ashamed.

“My heart,” Nie Mingjue whispers as he pulls Jiang Cheng into his arms and it only makes Jiang Cheng cry harder.

He doesn’t know how long he spends in Nie Mingjue’s arms but when his sobs finally subside he’s exhausted and he feels very, very small.

“I don’t mean to trap you in this, to force you to stay with me,” Jiang Cheng still forces himself to say as he pushes Nie Mingjue away. “Don’t listen to me. Just—I need you to choose. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Wanyin, I’m seeing a therapist,” Nie Mingjue tells him and Jiang Cheng goes very still. “I’m not dating someone else and I’m not cheating on you. I’m going to therapy, once a week.”

The words don’t really make sense to Jiang Cheng, so he stays still, hoping that their true meaning will hit him sooner or later, but the words stay the same.

“What?” he gets out and Nie Mingjue pulls him down on the couch, tucking him into his side.

“I’m going to therapy once a week. A-Sang has been going for a while, even before our father was—before he died and he recommended her to me. I’ve been going to see her for a few weeks now,” Nie Mingjue explains, but Jiang Cheng can feel that he’s shaking.

Or maybe that’s Jiang Cheng himself.

“I don’t understand,” Jiang Cheng finally admits and Nie Mingjue crushes him to his chest.

“Did you think I was cheating on you all this time?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng blinks.

“You said you’re seeing someone. You couldn’t even meet my eyes,” he eventually tells him and Nie Mingjue freezes.

“You thought I was cheating on you from that day on?”

“Is it really cheating if you tell me about it, though?” Jiang Cheng wonders, because that is still bothering him to no end, that he doesn’t know how to define this.

“Wanyin!” Nie Mingjue sounds close to tears himself and it’s confusing enough that Jiang Cheng pulls away from him.

“What’s wrong?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, and he’s distantly aware that maybe the only one who isn’t right is him.

“You’re asking me that? Why didn’t you break up with me if you thought I was seeing someone else?”

“You said you didn’t want to,” Jiang Cheng whispers, remembering that dinner so clearly.

It was the last time his world had been whole and good.

“If you thought this the whole time—” Nie Mingjue trails off with a shake of his head. “How could you be okay with that?”

“I thought if I say I’m not—you would leave,” Jiang Cheng admits. “You were already—I already thought I wasn’t enough. If I didn’t allow you this, what would keep you at my side? At least like this I had some of you. I always knew that this day would come, after all. You’re too good, and I’m just—not,” he finishes weakly, unable to meet Nie Mingjue’s eyes.

His mind is still reeling but Jiang Cheng is aware that pointing out his own flaws right now might not be the best thing to do.

“Wanyin, you’re my entire heart and I love you,” Nie Mingjue tells him, pulling him in to give him a soft kiss. “How could I ever leave you?”

“It seems to be easy enough,” Jiang Cheng says, trying not to think about Wei Wuxian or his parents, or even his sister but it’s always hard.

“It’s not,” Nie Mingjue says with a shake of his head. “And I am not going to leave you. I love you and I can’t even imagine seeing someone else.”

“Except your therapist,” Jiang Cheng weakly says, aware that it’s much, much to early for a joke about this, but making inappropriate jokes is the only thing he knows how to do sometimes.

“Except her,” Nie Mingjue agrees and brushes a kiss over Jiang Cheng’s cheek. “My heart, I think—maybe you should go see someone, too,” Nie Mingjue haltingly says and Jiang Cheng jerks away from him.

His mother never spoke kindly of therapists.

“I—” can’t, he wants to say, but the words die in his throat.

It’s not like anyone is really stopping him anymore and it seems to be doing Nie Mingjue some good. And Nie Huaisang, too, given that he’s been going for a while now too apparently.

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he finally admits, because he knows he’s broken enough to make anyone despair.

It’s still a wonder Nie Mingjue even looked at him twice.

“That’s not for you to know but for you and your therapist to work out together,” Nie Mingjue softly tells him and Jiang Cheng thinks that it sounds like the most terrifying thing he has ever heard.

It also sounds like something that might be possible, if he doesn’t have to do it alone.

“Would I be going to yours, too?” he asks, his voice thin and scared and Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“I don’t know. She wasn’t too happy to take me on as well, since she’s treating Huaisang already, but we can ask her. I’m sure one meeting will be okay. And if she says she can’t take you on, I bet she has a recommendation.”

“I don’t—I can’t go alone,” Jiang Cheng says, because he knows he could never be strong enough to make that first step.

“I’ll accompany you to the first meeting,” Nie Mingjue agrees. “But she might kick me out halfway through,” he then adds with a small smile and while that is still a terrifying prospect, it also makes sense.

“Not now,” Jiang Cheng finally says, and while he sees the regret and worry on Nie Mingjue’s face, Jiang Cheng is not strong enough to see a therapist immediately. Or even this week. “Until half an hour ago I thought you were dating someone else. I need—some time first,” Jiang Cheng weakly finishes and understanding washes over Nie Mingjue’s face.

“Of course,” he agrees immediately and pulls Jiang Cheng back into his arms. “I love you. I wouldn’t cheat on you,” he says, and Jiang Cheng wonders how often he has to hear this before he can accept that these last weeks were just a huge misunderstanding.

“I love you,” Jiang Cheng gives back and for the first time since Nie Mingjue told him he’s seeing someone those words don’t cut him open.

Jiang Cheng is still scared and confused and overwhelmed, but Nie Mingjue is a warm solid presence at his side and Jiang Cheng does breathe easier now that he knows that he’s not living on borrowed time here and that Nie Mingjue loves him still.

For today, that is enough.

And no matter what the next day, or even the next week brings, Jiang Cheng thinks that he might just be able to do it if he has Nie Mingjue by his side.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #mingcheng #the untamed #mdzs #modern au #established relationship #misunderstanding #angst #cuddling and snuggling #hurt/comfort #insecurity #no break-up #self-worth issues #no cheating

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bonjour-rainycity · 3 years

Text

Making Amends

Summary: Five years, you thought he was gone for good. After the War, he disappeared. Now, after months of zero contact, he shows up at your bridal salon. A somewhat bitter Reader and a post-FATWS Bucky

Pairing: Bucky x F!Reader

Word count: 2381

Warnings: Mentions of past violence and killings, adult language

I sigh, securing the train of the dress so it doesn’t drag against the floor. The dress is stunning, as they all are. This one—pouffy, ivory, grand—has a bateau neckline and falls to the floor in a long, glittering train.

The glitter gets everywhere.

I bend down, trying to wipe some of it off my pants leg, then work on my blazer. Every day, only black clothes. It’s tradition, but a stupid one — the glitter stands out on my clothes more than it does on the white dresses.

“Miss, someone’s here to see you.”

I grit my teeth, digging my hands into the fabric of the dress. The receptionist is young — barely out of her teens, really — and still quite new at her job. She, like others, disappeared on that awful day five and a half years ago.

The day I lost everything.

And she’s here today because of my friends’ sacrifices.

I try to remind myself to be patient. “We’re appointment only, Lydia. Tell her to call, make an appointment, and come back then.”

“R-right,” she stammers, and I can hear the bottoms of her heels scraping against the floor as she shifts her weight. “It’s just—well, he said it’s really important, and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

That gives me pause. He?

As a product manager at a bridal salon, my day is mostly spent in the company of women. Brides, their mothers, bridal parties, wedding planners, etc. There’s the occasional fiancé, father, brother, friend come to support, or a groom shopping for a dress, but overall, men tend to stand out.

“Fine, send him in,” I allow. It’s obvious he’s not listening to Lydia, but I know I’m more intimidating than she is. I’ll tell him to schedule an appointment. “And then do me a favor — there’s a list of designers on my desk upstairs. Can you give their offices a call and update the contact info for each brand representative?”

She sounds relieved. “Sure, no problem.”

As the sound of her heels meeting the ground fade away, I breathe in the sweet, floral-scented air. We’re under-booked today. There are only a few brides occupying our east fitting rooms, so I’ve decided to spend my afternoon in the west, making everything look perfect for the weekend ahead. Having this section alone — just me, the soft piano music playing over the speakers, and the dresses — is almost peaceful.

It would be peaceful if I were anyone else.

I continue to straighten the dresses. Everything needs to be perfectly spaced, meticulously tucked and folded to make each dress impressive in its own way. There’s no room for imperfection, here.

The sound of heavy boots clicking on the floor rings through the empty room. “Hey, Doll.”

My body runs cold.

That voice. I know it well.

My mind flashes to late nights, stealing smiles and kisses, tight hugs, adoring eyes.

And then falling to the ground in grief. Changing outfits to attend my second funeral of the day. His. And, after years of grieving, healing, and suffering through, one chance to fix it all. The joy of having him back. Locking eyes on the battlefield.

And then nothing.

Nothing.

All my air leaves me in one, quick, sigh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I turn, both dreading the sight and longing for it.

And just like that, standing between two rows of eggshell and pearl and ivory, he’s here.

Dark denim jeans, a deep blue shirt—long sleeve, knowing him—a grey button-up open on his chest, and two thick gloves, despite the summer heat.

I cross my arms.

He purses his lips together and raises his eyebrows, crossing one foot over the other casually. “So, bridal, huh?”

I feel my jaw clench. “I’ve got to make a living, don’t I? Evidently you do, too.” I can’t stop the bitterness from seeping into my voice.

He sighs that long-suffering sigh, one that tells me he’s more resigned than upset. “I wanted to come back.”

I turn my attention back to the dresses, walking down the row of gleaming white. “No one was stopping you.”

He turns to face me as I continue my inspection of each and every gown. “It’s not that simple. I—I was working hard. I had to get freed from him.”

I grit my teeth, fighting the urge to feel something. But of course, I do. Ever since I’ve known Bucky, he’s been wrecked by the things he’s done and terrified he’ll be called to do them again.

Terrified that he’ll lose his mind once again to the assassin.

When I saw him on TV, in a random news report from months ago, I’d broken down into sobs. I’d fallen to my knees and said prayer after prayer of thanks. Because the clouds had faded from his eyes. The fear, the ever-present dread, was gone. He stood taller, more assured —

Happier.

I knew then, that somehow, he’d gotten the Winter Soldier out.

I bend down, fluffing layers of crinoline in a ballgown. “You’ve been in the news.”

He hears the accusation in my voice. You’ve been back for months.

He approaches me slowly, coming to stand in front of me as I straighten. “I had a job to do.”

“What, the new Captain America doesn’t allow cell phones?”

He ignores the jab. “Doll, I had to wait to make sure, to be sure, but I’m safe, now. I’m not him anymore.”

“Bucky, I always felt safe with you,” I whisper, the emotion nearly winning. “I loved you more than anything. And despite what you said — that you loved me, too — you just left. Five years I waited for you. I didn’t think there was any way I would ever see you again, and then by some miracle, after so much loss, you came back! We fought in a war together. We killed. And we won. And then you disappeared. It’s been six months! I-I mean, I hate to think the worst, Bucky, but I really thought—” I cut off my words then, unable to continue without dissolving into tears.

His jaw tightens in that heartbreaking way it does when he’s sad, and he reaches forward. When I don’t protest to his gloved hand on mine, he pulls me into a hug. I want to melt into him. I want to collapse under nearly six years of unresolved grief, stress, worry, and let him hold me up, let him bear this burden for just a few minutes.

But that’s not the way I’m made.

I’ve entrusted my heart to him too many times.

And every time, I’m left alone and broken.

I push myself out of his arms, wiping my tears away quickly. Once again, the dresses act as my anchor, my distraction. I gather one in my arms, crossing the aisle to re-hang it in its proper place.

Bucky watches from a distance.

His hands are tucked into his pockets, and he looks at me sadly for a while before his eyes turn to the ground.

Silence falls between us. The only noises are the coos of elated brides and their adoring guests coming from the east side of the building.

After a while, Bucky raises his head towards me. “Does working here make you want it?”

I sigh. He can’t do that. Can’t come in here after so much time away with zero contact and then casually ask me stupid questions. “Want what?”

“You know,” he shrugs, leaning against the receptionist’s desk. “It. A wedding, a marriage, a…life.”

I purse my lips, shaking my head. I reach to adjust a hanger slightly out of my arm span, trying my hardest not to sound sad. “I’m not the kind of girl you marry, Buck. Not anymore.”

He scoffs, making a face. “What does that even mean?”

I turn on him, more than done with this conversation. “Exactly that! I see it every day — brides come in here, all starry-eyed, happy, innocent. They’ve got love, or at least the excitement of planning their ‘big day,’ and they just glow with all the life in them. I don’t have that, not anymore. I—” I lower my voice, gritting my teeth against the emotion that attempts to fight through. “I’ve killed people, Bucky. For a long period of time, that’s all I did. And, look, I’m really, really happy for you being able to heal and move on and be freed, but I can’t do that. I can’t come back from who I turned out to be.”

“That’s bullshit. You did what you had to do.” He pushes himself off the receptionist’s desk, adamant. “Every life you took was to stop the slaughter of others. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

“I can.”

We stare each other down.

He’s always had a good stare.

Steady, intimidating, unwavering. It’s like he can see into the depths of your soul and know he can outlast you.

But I work with furious mothers of the brides.

I raise an eyebrow, showing him I will not back down from this challenge.

He blinks and moves his gaze past my right shoulder. Something shifts in his eyes. “You’ve got a client.”

I force my expression to soften, maneuvering around Bucky to grab the clipboard from the receptionist’s desk. I give him a look that clearly says do not move, and hurry to the front door to welcome the bride and her guests in. Amidst the flurry of excited chatters, gushing about wedding plans, and a clear description of what she does not want, I check them in on the clipboard and take them to the east wing to meet a consultant. When I return, Bucky is exactly where I left him.

He smirks at me. “What the hell was that? Your voice rose like three octaves.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s called customer service.”

He shrugs, leaning against the desk in a way I should not find ridiculously attractive. “Well, why don’t I get any of that?”

I grit my teeth. “Because they are going to buy a dress, which will pay my salary, which will make me happy. You on the other hand, have caused me nothing but anger, sadness, and worry.” I blink, absently shocked that all that truth escaped despite my best efforts.

Something flashes in Bucky’s eyes—regret, maybe—but he covers it well, tilting his head to the side and keeping his playful tone. “Really? Nothing but that? Gosh, I must have been a terrible boyfriend.”

I dig my teeth into my lower lip, staring down at my clipboard. It’s been six months. You may as well continue with the honesty. You don’t know the next time you’ll have a change to talk to him like this. “Buck…” I approach him slowly, buying myself time. Too soon, I come to stand in front of him. “You were a great boyfriend. I…” I sigh, shaking my head. “I thought you were it. I didn’t want anyone else. And we were happy, overall. You know—up until you disappeared without so much as a text and ignored me for six months.”

A muscle twitches in his cheek. He leans forward, locking his eyes with mine. “We were good together. I loved you, more than anything, I—well Doll, I still love you. And look, I know I’ve messed up. In more ways than seems is humanly possible, but I,” he sighs, shaking his head. “I’m as clean as I’m ever gonna get. I shouldn’t have disappeared without warning. I should’ve called when I left Wakanda. I should’ve let you hear from me rather than seeing me on the news. I should’ve come back and done the work to rebuild what I broke. I’m sorry. I really am.”

I feel the clipboard digging into my stomach. I don’t move. I stare at him, terrified of the way his words, the honesty in his eyes, makes me react. Too easily, my walls are coming down. “What did you come here for?”

“I—just,” he digs his hands into his pockets, sighing lowly. “I’m back in town. And I’m here to stay for a while. If you’d allow it, I’d like to try to make amends.”

Don’t do it, I beg myself. Don’t set yourself up for more pain.

In the face of my silence, he nods slowly, taking on a look of sad understanding.

“I work till seven.” The words rush from my mouth before I can stop them, before I can think of the consequences. I grip the clipboard even tighter.

Bucky raises an eyebrow, the start of a smile tugging at the edge of his lips. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nod, my heart racing at the prospect of being with him again, of maybe fixing things. “I live in the same apartment.”

He grins fully now, but at my stern look, attempts to wipe it off his face. I’m still mad at him, he shouldn’t get too comfortable yet.

But the light doesn’t leave his eyes and, despite my fear that this will all turn out terribly for me, I feel my own lips threatening to turn up.

He pushes himself off the desk, standing closer to me than I think either of us intended. “Can I take you out?”

I release a long breath, not moving from my spot despite our proximity. “Yes.”

He nods slowly, not pulling his gaze from mine. “It’s a date.”

“It’s a trial period,” I correct, unable to keep myself from teasing him a little.

He tilts his head to the side, laughing indulgently. “Alright, I deserve that. Then, sure, I’ll pick you up at eight for our trial period.”

He smirks cockily at me, winking in that way he knows makes my knees weak, before turning and swaggering to the door.

Despite our play, he’s not getting off this easy. There’s a lot we have to work through, and we might not even be compatible anymore — he knows that, too.

But for just this moment, I allow myself to enjoy feeling comfortable with him, joking like we used to. When his gloved hand reaches for the doorknob, I call after him, keeping my tone light. “You’re on thin fucking ice, Barnes.”

He turns his head to mine, nodding solemnly in a way I didn’t expect. “I know, Doll.”

A/n Whoops, couldn’t get this one out of my head after seeing Bucky in FATWS, so here’s some angst, bitterness, and hopefully a little hope!

|masterlist|

#fatws #fatws spoilers #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #reader x bucky #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #marvel #marvel fanfiction

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tenthgrove · 3 years

Note

Helloo~~

I was wondering if i could request,child!reader being adopted by Gelato and Sorbet(they kept the child a secret) and when they have to go away on a mission they leave child!reader with la squadra to look after? Howd they react? If this is okay!

La Squadra Babysitting Sorbet and Gelato’s Adopted Child

La Squadra x Reader, platonic/parental, sfw.

Sorbet and Gelato had always hoped to be parents someday. Originally intending to adopt by legal means as soon as they left the assassination busines, their plans altered considerably as their 30s dragged on with no sign of escape from the criminal underworld.

Still, you were an impulse.

Your parents were business folk. Though incredibly wealthy, they had run afoul of Passione and for that they had to be punished. Your room was on the far side of the mansion, where you couldn’t hear the sounds of your parents’ murders.

There was never a reason for the assassins to find you, but your fate was altered by a fleeting, split-second decision to find a different way out of the house. The second Sorbet and Gelato laid eyes on you, they knew their search for a child had ended.

For the merciless brutality they regard most of humanity with, your new fathers are excellent to you. You are showered with love every day of your life and you are never harmed or neglected. Within weeks you are already beginning to feel happier than you ever did with your old parents.

A few months after Sorbet and Gelato adopted you, you are bundled into the car with a bag of your things and driven to a large house in the middle of the city. You are somewhat familiar with this place as the dwelling of your fathers’ friends, and according to them, the place they spent most of their time before you came along. Still, you have not spoken much with the eccentric men who live inside, recalling little from your brief conversations with them other than their names.

Sorbet and Gelato lead you up the doorstep and kiss you goodbye. They explain that they have to go away for a few days for work, but their friends will take good care of you in the meantime. You watch them drive away, before a tall man clad in black calls you into the house.

Risotto- The Capo of La Squadra is still a little bitter about the stunt Sorbet and Gelato pulled to keep you with them. How convenient it was, that they simply forgot to inform him of your adoption until the point where it would simply be too cruel, even by Risotto’s standards, to demand they give you away. But even if he’s only known about your existence for a few weeks, you are still a part of Risotto’s family and he’ll be damn well sure the team looks after you like they promised. For one, Risotto will be overseeing everyone else’s responsibilities, making sure that anyone who agrees to watch you for a certain period actually does it. However, especially as the days drag on, Risotto will frequently find himself taking on your supervision personally. The man can clear a playground just by showing up, so whenever he has an hour free he’ll take you down there so you can get some fresh air. It fills you with a sense of pride and self-confidence to have such a scary-looking man as your friend. And having you smile at him makes Risotto feel human again.

Prosciutto- Jesus Christ on a bike. In retrospect, Prosciutto is starting to wish that the very obvious secret Sorbet and Gelato were badly hiding for those months really had been a plot against the boss. They would be more likely to come out of that alive than parenthood. But… Prosciutto isn’t going to risk getting his knees caved in for letting your health falter in their care, so the second-in-command is going to take on the more practical elements of baby-sitting you. Food, clothes, hygiene… he’ll bitch about it, but if anyone else offers to do it for him he’ll turn them down. The truth is, Prosciutto secretly enjoys looking after someone. It feeds his naturally caring nature, a side of him he rarely gets to explore.

Pesci- Personally he doesn’t know what everyone else is angry about. He thinks it’s great Sorbet and Gelato got a kid! They’re both so nice to everyone! (Pesci thinks this because he hasn’t been on many missions with them yet.) Prosciutto doesn’t like him spending too much time with you because he sees it as an excuse to slack off from his training, but whenever the opportunity arises Pesci is going to watch you play. He doesn’t join in, always fearing he’ll ruin things for you with his clumsiness somehow, but if you ask him, he will.

Formaggio- This guy has had like no experience with young children in a long, long time, so having you around is somewhat of a novelty to him. At first, he scares you a little with how loud and unpredictable he is, but it isn’t long before you find yourself having a lot of fun with him. He’d like to take you outside, kick a ball around perhaps, but Risotto insists that you’re only allowed out the house with him or Prosciutto. Instead, Formaggio will settle for watching some TV, always ready with his own weak-humoured commentary to make it more entertaining for you.

Illuso- He immediately finds himself more endeared to you than he would have liked. He shouldn’t be getting attached to some random kid, even if it is his colleagues’ child, but you’re just so damn sweet to everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad wasting his time with you. When things are getting tense around the hideout, Illuso will let you and you alone see him through the mirror. It always makes you giggle, and you forget whatever it was that’s worrying everyone.

Melone- Don’t ask him how, but he figured out Sorbet and Gelato had adopted a kid a while before everyone else did. Given his stand, it’s useful for him to be able to identify the signs of someone being a parent, and this came in handy here. Anyway, Melone knew it would inevitably come down to you staying over with them whenever Sorbet and Gelato needed you off their hands for a bit. He bought a few new toys, to add to the collection he uses for educating babyface, and spends his allotted time with you observing how you interact with them. Although his demeanour may seem detached and experimental during these times, he genuinely does enjoy watching you. It fills him with happiness to see how obviously happy you are in your new life with your dads.

Ghiaccio- He tries to avoid you at first, thinking that a child in the hideout can only ever go wrong. But then he realises you seem to think you’ve displeased him somehow, and deep down, Ghiaccio feels bad. You aren’t a bad kid, he supposes. You’re not annoyingly loud or stubborn, and you generally do as you’re told. You do cry sometimes, mostly when you miss your dads, but you always stop whenever Ghiaccio gets them on the phone for you. He’ll tolerate you. If anything, he wouldn’t mind doing this again if Sorbet and Gelato need them too.

#la squadra #risotto nero #sorbet and gelato #formaggio #illuso #pesci #prosciutto #melone #ghiaccio

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delicioussshame · 3 years

Text

Look, I want to say this isn’t an AU where LBH is Lestat and SY is Louis, but... this is totally an AU where LBH is Lestat and SY is Louis, sans vampires. I just hadn’t realised this is what I was channelling when I started this forever ago.

“Shizun… It’s Shizun, isn’t it?”

Shen Yuan turns towards Luo Binghe, for who else could it be? “Yes.”

Luo Binghe, is, obviously, still as devastatingly handsome as he ever was. He didn’t lose anything by switching from the traditional style to more modern fashion. Maybe, Shen Yuan despairs, he even gained from it. Those jeans are literally stopping traffic.

He might miss his long locks though. Short hair suits him, but it wouldn’t feel the same under his fingers.

Shen Yuan shakes himself back to reality. The feeling of Luo Binghe’s hair under doesn’t have anything to do with him anymore. “Binghe seems like he did well for himself.” He has no doubt on the matter. Managing their wealth through time was a challenge, but nothing an array of trusts, shell corporations, insider knowledge and skilled lawyers couldn’t arrange. Shen Yuan has been living lavishly for decades. He’s sure Binghe did the same.

“So does Shizun.”

The appellation brings a smile to his lips. It’s so ridiculous. Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe had spent centuries together. In comparison, the time Shen Yuan taught Luo Binghe was infinitesimal. The title is meaningless.

Luo Binghe used to say that Shen Yuan taught him something new every day. That they could spend eternity together and he’d never learn enough from him.

That was long ago now.

“This must be similar to the era Shizun came from, isn’t it?”

“Pretty much.” It’s not quite the same. Some events went differently, some didn’t, but daily life is almost indistinguishable

Investing in Tencent still proved profitable though.

Luo Binghe is wavering, obviously wondering if he’ll dare to say whatever he’s thinking of saying.

It’s probably not a good idea. “Well, it was nice seeing you. I’m sure you have things to do.” Shen Yuan departs.

Or tries to. He’s hindered by Luo Binghe’s grasp on his arm.

“Binghe. Let go.”

Shen Yuan almost stumbles from the shock of seeing Luo Binghe’s eyes swell with tears for the first time in forever. His heart squeezes like Binghe was still his young and eager husband, crumbling under the slightest disapproval. Without his consent, his hand reaches up and wipes those tears away gently, the gesture so familiar it hurt.

“A-Yuan, please, don’t go! Give this disciple a day, no, an evening to catch up! I will take him to the best restaurant, pay for the grandest hotel, whatever he wants, as long as he spares me a fraction of his time.”

Shen Yuan knows better. He can’t falter here. He can’t let Luo Binghe charm him into a nice dinner where alcohol flows until, both of them tipsy, they fall into bed again and Shen Yuan finds himself spending another decade in Luo Binghe’s embrace. Not when his ex-husband’s character obviously still hasn’t changed. “When was the last time this charade worked? You’re just proving why we should stay apart.” The waterworks were cute when they were a hundred. Now, it just reminds him how little Luo Binghe minds being openly manipulative when it suits him.

The tears stop flowing almost as soon as Shen Yuan speaks. “Shizun is so cruel, calling out his husband after so many years spent apart.”

“Then maybe we should remain apart.”

“But I missed Shizun so much! Can he honestly say he didn’t miss me?”

He cannot. Of course there were days where he felt like half of his soul was missing.

There were also days where his freedom made him soar. “Almost as much as I relished being separated from him.”

Shen Yuan thinks the hurt on Luo Binghe’s face is real.

If you were to ask Shen Yuan, he would tell you that in this moment, Luo Binghe probably sincerely thinks he loves Shen Yuan still. If Shen Yuan welcomed his advances, he would probably continue to think so for, oh, at least a few decades. But then the novelty of having him again would fade. Flaws that were once charming would become irritants. His eyes would start wandering until he found a pretty new mortal to keep him occupied for a while. Maybe he’d try to teach this one cultivation, hoping this time, it would stick. Not that it ever did before.

Either way, he would try to convince Shen Yuan that said mortal was a mayfly he shouldn’t bother himself with, and that his jealousy was unbecoming.

Shen Yuan would end up leaving to nurse his broken heart for the nth time.

He’s not going through this again. Luo Binghe had his chances.

They were good enough for each other to last a few centuries. That’s better than most. Shen Yuan and Yue Qingyuan lasted barely three decades before their mutual bitterness killed anything that might have existed between them. No matter how much Yue Qingyuan wished, Shen Yuan couldn’t be Shen Jiu for him, and Shen Yuan had only so much patience for requests to be someone else.

Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge, that might have lasted longer, if Qingge hadn’t died. Shen Yuan had expected it to happen sooner or later. The former peak lord of Bai Zhan wasn’t made for immortality. He needed to be challenged to live. He couldn’t survive in permanent status quo. He had to find the obstacle that ended up being his end.

Shen Yuan hopes his next lives were more to his liking.

Not that it is relevant right now. “Binghe, our time has passed. Return to the place you call home and forget me.”

“I could never forget Shizun.”

Shen Yuan could never forget Luo Binghe either. “I know. This would be so much easier if we could, wouldn’t it?”

The look that crosses Luo Binghe’s face, a mix of melancholy, longing and pain, is probably something reserved for people like them, for whom the passage of time is different.

What would it be like, if they were meeting for the first time, without all the baggage weighing them down? What if Shen Yuan was still a normal human, and Luo Binghe, the dashing immortal bent on seducing him?

He’d probably fall in seconds. He would have no shield against Luo Binghe’s… everything.

He hasn’t been that Shen Yuan in eons. He can barely remember what it was like to be this innocent.

What he was like before Luo Binghe.

Maybe if he lives long enough, he’ll rediscover what it is like, to be Shen Yuan without Luo Binghe.

For that, he has to leave alone. “Goodbye, Binghe. Whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re enjoying it.” He turns to leave.

“You’re really going?”

The heartbroken, begging quality of his voice almost stops him.

It doesn’t. “Yes, I am.”

The faintest brush of his hand on his. “If Shizun is this certain, then who am I to stop him? I can only hope that he’ll be happier alone than he would have been with me, not that I think it likely.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Shen Yuan leaves.

#The Scum Villain Self Serving System #Scum Villain #BingQiu #kind of #If you wanted bitter exes #you got bitter exes

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dolls-self-ships · 3 years

Note

The comic with Maleficent made me curious about something: What's your relationship with the other villains?

AAAAA YES ok I’ve been waiting to talk about this I think about it so much

Ok so obviously, I met them all through Hades. I asked if I could meet his friends and naturally he was hesitant to introduce us because of how.. well... they’re villains and I’m me.

“Kassandra, babe, let me break this down for you. You, are like whipped cream. Sweet fluffy yadda yadda. And my friends, they’re people who eat whipped cream. Ya got the concept?”

“Aw hun, come on! You don’t know whether we’ll get along or not if we never get to meet.”

“...”

“Pleassse~?”

“*sigh* Fine.”

After caving and bringing me along for a villains night, I got quite the mixed greetings from the bunch. But after a while of tagging along with Hades and getting to know everyone, I’d say we all have a pretty stable connection with each other, and I couldn’t be happier to be a new member of their group :)

Maleficent, at first, was indifferent to me. I was nothing more than another mere pretty and frivolous little princess, here to only slightly disturb the groups peace (or I guess anarchy) until Hades found another mortal to occupy his time with. But she quickly grew attached to me (well, more like tolerable of me attaching myself to her, lol) but would rather die than admit to finding my naïveté and kindness at the very least; entertaining. She’s very protective of me though. We’re essentially this meme

Jafar was... eh... a bit too friendly, when he first met me. Much friendlier than I (or, oof, Hades) would’ve liked. He’s backed off since then, he’s no idiot. But figured it was worth a shot. Though that doesn’t stop him from occasionally slipping me a compliment or a hand-kiss in greeting, knowing it’s nothing for Hades to get all heated over, or else I’d get upset with him. Jafar is quite sneaky that way. And thinks it’s cute when Hades is annoyed

Cruella absolutely adores me, or at least that’s what I’ve gathered from our interactions ^^; She tells me I remind her so much of her old friend and schoolmate Anita; “So polite and sweet!” she says~ And I quite enjoy Cruella’s company as well! She’s so vibrant and confident, we often go out shopping together and she always gives me the best and most brutally honest advice.

Captian Hook and I are actually pretty close! I’d say he’s one of my best friends. James was such a gentleman upon our first meet and continued to be so after that. We probably have the most in common out of all the rest of the villains like our love for the arts, fashion, and our sensitive natures. He affectionately refers to me as ‘Ms. Kassandra’ and ‘my dear’ ^^

Frollo couldn’t care less for me. I’m too happy and careless for his tastes. Just another sinner among the rest (speak for yourself). The only thing he supposes he respects about me are my manners. I think he’s just bitter because I called him “old man”. But can you blame me? With the kind of stuff that comes out of his mouth I wasn’t gonna sit there and let him get away with it scot free. Oh, and speaking of unsavoury things being spoken by white men,

Gaston hates me. Mostly because I’m the only young woman that’s ever talked back to him, like, aggressively (aside from Belle). Also, you know, I’m a woman to begin with so, the hatred was already there. I think he doesn’t know how to exist with the idea that there’s women he wants to get with that simply don’t want to get with him.

Scar acts aloof, and honesty he kind of scares me. But sometimes I pat my lap and he’ll waddle over for head scratches. They’re usually wordless exchanges that last for a few hours, he might have a cat nap on my lap if he’s particularly exhausted. He claims to mildly enjoy my company because I’m the only one here that’s both generous and brave enough to pamper him, he does like having his fur pet. The big ol’ house cat <3 Plus, I’m a princess, I’m practically obligated to befriend all animals haha.

Ursula thinks I’m cute, but not really someone she’d go out of her way to spend time with. She likes it when Hades brings me along though, she supposes it’s nice to converse with the “other half” (aka royalty, good guys, heroines, etc.). Oh and she’s veeeery touchy, it’s a fun game for her to make me blush and squeak if she can, it’s all fun ‘n games ^^

Chernabog likes me just fine :) I’ve been helping him out with his personal stuff and he’s been making great progress so far! I’m so proud of him and I think he’s ready to start talking to a professional ^^

Grimhilda doesn’t pay much mind to me, I think it’s because I’m younger than her :(

Dr Faciller is extremely charming. I love hearing him talk about all the different wonders and sights to see in New Orleans, it all sounds so fun and exciting! Makes me want to visit there myself ^^ Easily the most engaging conversationalist and of course, a real 1920’s gentleman. Plus I love getting to see and learn about all the voodoo magic that he does, it’s so cool! I think he likes how easily amazed and kinda airheaded I am. We get along great, he calls me “little lady” and “cher” ^^

Rattigan is so cute!! I wanna pick him up and give him little pets but I don’t think he’d like that :( he’s a mouse so I can’t understand him.

Clayton is... he’s fine I guess. We don’t particularly engage with each other but we don’t dislike each other. Although I have to disagree with a lot of his political views on poaching and hunting for sport.

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lampmeeting · 3 years

Note

D for Charles/Magnus, I for Magnus/Toki, L for Charles/Pickles, and F for Melm/JT.

eeehEHEHEHE DILF *rubs my little hands together* don't mind if i do~

D for Drunken Love Confession - Charles/Magnus

pre-klok. :') magnus has been chipping away at charles' resolve. there's just something about the bookish, put-together little chuck offdensen that makes magnus wanna break through all his defenses and see him come undone. he always did like a challenge. they have heated, passionate debates about the direction of the band. they get in each other's faces. magnus even kissed him once, but charles pushed him away, furious and blushing, and demanded he leave his office.

after six months of this weirdly charged back-and-forth they have, the band invites charles to come drinking with them to celebrate pickles' birthday. charles declines, concerned they're just inviting him to come because they want someone else to play designated driver. but magnus intervenes like "nah i'm driving tonight, promise. so go nuts." and charles seems to think it over... and eventually agrees.

so they all go out! at first charles seems to be pacing himself, but pickles gets shots, and it's all downhill from there. magnus, staying dutifully sober, watches the rest of the band + charles get sloppy and silly, not minding in the slightest the way charles leans against him a little in the booth and touches him when he laughs. he starts to regret not getting drunk himself, but he'd promised charles. it's enough just to see charles' mask slip, albeit not quite in the way magnus wanted. but he'll take it for now.

at the end of the night, magnus drops the band off at the apartment and then continues on to charles' place. he pulls up, and charles tries to get out of the car, but stumbles and falls. he's a lot more fucked up than magnus suspected. magnus helps him to the door, but charles seriously looks like he's about to black out, so he takes him inside, cleans him up a little, and puts him to bed (on his side, in the recovery position, he knows the drill). before he leaves, he can't help himself... he runs fingers through charles' sweaty hair and strokes his jaw. charles opens his eyes, seeming surprised that magnus is still there, and then... he smiles at him. a genuine smile. and as his eyes close again, he whispers something that freezes magnus in place.

"...mmfm...mmlove you..."

"...what?"

but charles is under again, and magnus leaves in a panic. charles doesn't, can't, have feeling for him. that's too much. magnus just wanted some fun, right? maybe get charles worked up enough for an angry fuck. but...love?

magnus can't sleep. the next time magnus sees charles, charles pulls him aside. "i apologize that you had to babysit me like that the other night. i can't exactly recall everything that happened, so if i said or did anything, ah...embarrassing, i'm very sorry."

so charles doesn't remember what he said. or he does and he's just trying to save face. magnus should be relieved about this, but for some reason his heart feels suddenly sore...

"oh, yeah, no...you were out like a light. don't worry about it."

I for "Idiots in Love" - Toki/Magnus

post-post-galaktikon. weirdly enough i'd probably write this from like nathan's pov or something. he's having everyone over to the house for some reason, maybe a holiday or his daughter's first birthday or something (her cool uncles wouldn't dream of missing it). this means..... rrugghhgh magnus is coming over. it's the first time he's interacted with magnus since pickles and charles' wedding, so maybe a good couple years, and he's not looking forward to it.

everyone arrives. toki and magnus are the last to show up, and nathan has to do a double-take because this is SO not magnus. half his hair is back in a ponytail, he's let his beard grow in some, and he's wearing a sweater?? and he's smiling? he genuinely seems happy to see nathan, gives him a hug, says a warm hello to abby.

over the course of the afternoon nathan has to keep looking at him and reminding himself that's magnus fucking hammersmith because he's just so... animated? friendly? he's sitting next to toki and they're holding hands, and when others are talking the two of them are making eyes at each other and cuddling and laughing at little things they seem to be sharing between themselves. they're being a couple of absolute goofballs together, and honestly it's a bit sickening to watch. is magnus just faking this?

at some point nathan excuses himself to the kitchen for something, and while he's in there he's joined by magnus, considerably more subdued.

"sorry, man, i just...i thought maybe we could talk for a sec."

so they talk. they catch up a little. nathan learns magnus has been hitting the therapy especially hard over the past year, making some meaningful strides. it's not an act, he's genuinely happier now. or at least trying to be.

"i mean, you know how it is, nate, right? doesn't abby make you wanna be better just because she exists and she loves you?"

okay, nathan can understand that. he still doesn't understand... them. but it really seems like magnus has turned a corner, which... good for him, he supposes. as long as he's treating toki well.

when they return to the party, nathan watches magnus sit back down with toki and give him a kiss like he'd been gone all month, and they giggle to themselves again. this time, it seems...all right.

L for "Love at First Sight" - Charles/Pickles

i'm gonna flip the script here!! i've already done the whole "charles sees pickles on stage and goes gaga for him" twice now... so i'd pull away from the 80s and do a fic where they actually did meet for the first time in the mid-90s when pickles was in dethklok.

so they've got their shitty original manager (the one from doomstar) still, and he's just not pulling his weight. he's managing a few other bands and his heart isn't in dethklok the way it used to be. pickles is worried they're stagnating, and when he learns that it's been magnus lately making sure they get booked, that's the last straw. they all come together, and they tell the dude to fuck off. but then this leaves them without a manager. magnus offers, but pickles has already been wary about how possessive magnus seems about the band recently, so when pickles says no the rest of them vote the same.

pickles blows through his old contacts looking to dig up some manager from his past who can either wants to manage dethklok or has connections to someone else. no dice. skwisgaar comes up with no one. magnus is still trying to campaign for himself. shit gets dire when somehow seth finds out dethklok is lacking management and leaves pickles a voicemail offering his "valuable fuckin' services". pickles blows his fucking top, swearing and screaming. "HOW HARD IS IT TO FIND ONE GUY CAPABLE OF MANAGING A FUCKIN' BAND??"

the doorbell rings, and pickles, still raging, throws it open.

"WHAT??"

"ahh!"

it's just... a dude. like a normal-ass dude. glasses. a nice dress shirt and slacks. nice hair. handsome. he's nervous as shit, but that almost makes him more handsome.

"i, ah...i-i was told that van on the street belongs to, ah...to someone here? i clipped the, ah, the bumper. just a little. but it's noticeable."

anger forgotten, pickles just... stares at him. are his eyes green or brown? and that jawline...

the man shifts his weight just a bit, peeking into the apartment with wide, curious eyes. "sorry, that, ah... that's quite the drum kit."

"huh?" pickles looks back at it and steps inside, and the man follows as if he's simply meant to be there. "oh, yeah, thanks. you play?"

"hardly. a small jazz kit in college for a friend's music project but it, ah, obviously didn't go anywhere." the man glances around and seems to realize that he's just waltzed inside. "right, ah, so about the van--" he pulls out his card. charles f. offdensen of finch & associates. an honest-to-god lawyer. huh. so he's a smart guy. good-looking to boot. knows a bit about music, apparently. and he's looking to make things right about hitting the van...

pickles smiles, hearts in his eyes. "ya like metal, charlie?"

F for "Fake Dating" - Melmord/Twinkletits

aaahahah... okay. so, this would be when melm is living with john as part of his continued therapy. a few months pass, and they've actually become good friends, melm thinks, not just therapist and patient. it's nice living there with john.

and then, john gets a call from his ex-wife, joy. she's in town, and she wants to come over for dinner one night before she leaves. the only thing is, she's got her new fiance in tow. she and john ended on pretty mutual terms, so there's really no bitterness there, but even so, john knows it's going to be an unpleasant evening. and then there's the question of what to do about melmord.

"you can just stuff me in a back room and pretend i don't exist. i'll be real quiet."

"absolutely not, you've been watching too many sitcoms."

"excuse you, that's jane eyre."

john just doesn't exactly know how to approach explaining melmord's presence in the house. because he knows joy, and joy will ask.

"tell her i'm a friend who needed a place to crash?"

"joy knows i don't do friends anymore."

ouch go melm's feelings.

"well, uh... you could just tell her the truth? that i'm your patient and i live with you?"

john pulls a face. "absolutely not."

in a flash of sitcom inspiration, melm snaps his fingers. "i got it! i'm your boyfriend! we'll pretend to date!"

"pretend to--?? mel, honey, no. okay? i understand you're trying to help, but--"

"but what? what's your brilliant idea, doc?"

cut to john introducing melmord to his ex-wife.

"and this is my... well, he's uh, my boyfriend actually. my boyfriend melmord."

melm is all smiles as he leans in and takes joy's hand. "please, just call me mel."

and then of course at the end of a long night, joy and her fiance leave, and john and melm pat each other on the back for a job well done. they really gave it their all, put on a convincing performance full of long embraces and doting glances and romantic touches. neither of them really want to talk about how easily it came to them, and how unwilling they both are to bring it to an end.

"well, uhh... good night, then." john chuckles. "darling."

"yeah, haha, sleep good, uh... sugarbear."

they laugh. they're standing in the hall laughing. they should really move apart from each other and go to their respective rooms if they're going to sleep, but they're not moving. and they're still laughing. and now melmord is touching john's shirt, fingering a button, and john has a hand on melm's hip...

"maybe," melm says quietly, "we can just pretend for, like... a little longer?"

#thank you jean!!!!#these are turning out so long omg hahaha #my writing #okay NOW i sleep fdgdgd

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cerastes · 3 years

Note

Imagine W's ultimate show of trust to the Doc, if she ever decides to bring herself to that point somehow., being inviting them to share a ration with her out in the field. Or sort out some munitions over a chat about the places she's been. Or, as you said, indulging in the peace of just peeling some potatoes. I blame you for infecting me with W enlightenment.

! Yo. That’s some actual 200% Trust stuff right there.

W vaguely, casually inviting Doc out for a walk, telling them that if they decide to come, to give word that he’ll come back later. Doc says they’ve got a lot of work to do. W insists that Kal’tsit won’t give ‘em hell since she’ll explain. Never once has Doc seen Kal’tsit actually reprimand W, or W fail to finesse her way out of a lecture, so sure, why not? W’s reply is simply a smile, one that looks infinitely similar to her usual mocking smirk, but somehow, this time, it reaches her ears, and yet, it feels like it could deflate any time. Doc has seen this emotion before, and while they can’t put a name to it, they know it to be mutually exclusive with joy.

The ensuing chat is meaningless, but not unwelcome. Something about the Penguin Logistics girls being really good in a brawl for mailwomen and tour guides, something about the music room being quite lively, what with Vigna, Courier and Blue Poison habitually going there to play the guitar, with the “kiddos”, as she calls them, looked with admiration, Frostleaf trying to mimic them with her air guitar as Ifrit headbanged, something about how it was funny to see Aak and Warfarin wheel a very unwilling Fang into the infamous Doctor Blood’s lab, right before Dobermann and Kal’tsit caught them red-handed and dole out the appropriate pay docks and, worse still, lectures that seem unending as they are redundant, but ah, see, that’s the thing with Kal’tsit, she may say the same thing for the course of 3 hours, but she somehow keeps using different words, never sounding too redundant, it’s just like that time years ago when Kal’tsit caught raiding the pantry in the wee hours of the morning. How could Doctor not remember that one, it was a classic in Babel! A legendary pursuit that lasted two hours and was followed by four of lectur--

And then W stops.

That’s meaningless.

They don’t remember that funny anecdote.

And if they did? Then she surely wouldn’t be walking down memory lane with the “Doctor”. She surely wouldn’t be here right now.

It’s because they’ve lost all of that, that they have gained this little space, away from the mobile city, in the middle of nowhere, where they can talk.

They sit down across from each other, with the camp’s fire between them, on boxes tastefully labelled “Doctor” and “Me” with black paint. W throws Doctor a potato and a knife. There’s no Gummy or Matterhorn here, buster. You want food? Better get peeling while the water comes to a boil.

So they peel in relative silence. Potatoes. Onions. Dicing some carrots. Uncorking some cheap Kazdel ‘vintage’, if unused sewer lines from long-devastated cities could be considered casks, but hey, it’s got a nice kick and you can pick it right up after wandering back into an old campsite if you leave it fermenting before departing for the next battlefield. Just one of those nomad’s secrets, wink wink. Or do they call them “lifehacks” now? Reunion didn’t exactly have the latest in lingo, W laments.

Throughout all of this, Doctor cannot help but feel a certain tightness in their chest and a hollow pit in their stomach. It’s a feeling Doctor has heard others describe, but they’ve never been able to put a name to it, but they know it to be strange bedfellows with joy. Was this the same pain holding a tight grip on W’s smile before?

“Have we done this before? You know, before.”

But W only chuckles. “Maybe we did. Maybe we sat right here, maybe we had the very same cheap liquor, left to ferment in the same circumstances. Maybe we fixed the very same stew, maybe that knife feels oddly comfortable because that was the one we’d lend you.”

She stresses the plural, and the Doctor, too, stresses. She continues.

“Maybe you earned our trust, maybe you were just the way you are... Superficially, at least. Maybe that’s still something exclusively superficial. Maybe I’m intentionally tripping on the same stone twice, and if that’s the case, this time, it’ll cost me less than before, as it’ll be only one life.”

“As opposed to how many?” the Doctor doesn’t ask, doesn’t dare ask.

“This stew is perfect: Cheap, easy to prepare, nutritious, filling, and the pot is easy to clean afterwards. We make this stew a lot since it reminds us of ourselves as Sarkaz mercenaries... Convenient, gets the job done, and then you can just move on with your life after disposing of it. You used to love this stew.”

W gets real close to the Doctor, face to face, potato and knife gripped still, close enough that her warmth permeates through their mask, breathing audible, blood a frenzied mix of boiling and frigid.

“Do you still love this stew, Doctor?”

W’s explosive charges are less loaded than this question. Agonize, they did, trying to find the right way to diffuse this situation, but she doesn’t give them time to respond, fortunately. A dud, perhaps?

“If you still like the stew, then perhaps we can’t be friends, but... If you don’t find it to your liking, perhaps I can show you other rations and dishes we make out here, ones more nuanced, ones packed with a little more care, you know?”

Instead of sitting on a box across the fire from Doctor, W sits next to them now, finally abandoning the Doctor’s personal space.

“I’ve just been thinking very seriously about this, see? You really... And if I’m wrong about this, heh, shame on me, but you really don’t seem like the kind of person that likes that stew anymore. Just something I’ve learned from watching. Watching you. Watching the new blood. Watching the trust they place in you, the affection, the laugh and cajolery and jocosity of it all. And in the center of it all, what is it that you do? You reciprocate, and it drives me crazy.”

The Sarkaz’ voice raises just for a second.

“Because this could be much simpler, this could be as easy as click click boom, you know? Hit the switch, have a laugh, carry on, but no, you’ve made this far more complicated than it had to be. If you had remembered the anecdote, I could’ve just hit the button half an hour ago, and by now, I would be done picking up whatever was left of you, hiding it in an abandoned sewer line and then sealing it, and I’d be on my way to Columbia right about now. I hear they got some nice new settlement for Infected there now. If only you had remembered.”

But the Doctor did not remember. Not about the time when Kal’tsit lectured W for hours on end, nor about the time they disposed of the leftover stew. Not about a damn thing. The bombs in the box labelled “Doctor” were almost comically redundant, for whatever firepower they could hold, they’d never compare to the edge of Doctor’s conscience, twisting from within.

“...I heard you carried that FrostNova girl’s body. Thanks for that,” carried on W. “And for that, in addition to everything else, I’ve decided that maybe we ought to eat more than crummy stew next time. Which side of you is the real one? I guess I’ll -- we’ll -- find out soon enough.”

After that, no more words were traded. Peel, they did, and eventually, dinner was ready. The stew was somehow bitter and bland. Doctor couldn’t be happier, and was already anticipating what they were going to make next.

Maybe they’ll have anecdotes the both of them remember to fill the silence while peeling potatoes next time. Not that silence is unwelcome. Silence is meaningful, and a surprising amount of times, what unveils the truth behind someone’s heart.

#oh I thought this was shorter #arknights #operator w

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

Note

87. you’re a P.I. my parents hired to investigate my fiancee and you completely ruined my engagement party with the dirt you found but I want to know all the details right now

Sternclay, sfw or nsfw, please!

Here you go! I went NSFW and set it in the same universe as this Indruck fill. The orc designs are once again inspired by @kriskukko, whose art everyone should check out

The air is grey and chilly, and his best coat is still a bit too plain for this affair, but Barclay can’t help but glow. His husband to be is using this engagement party to invite him into parts of society he’s only glimpsed from behind kitchen counters or through windows on his way home in the early hours of the morning.

He didn’t even have to cook the table of delicacies and warm punches, which is usually his entry fee into any social space not hosted by Mama or his other friends back at Amnesty Lodge.

“Are you alright my dear?” William touches his shoulder. He’s the height of fashion from the new stud in his nose to the cut of his suit. Barclay looks at their linked hands, marveling at how his tattoos and calluses contrast with the smooth, unmarked green of Williams' skin. It’s wonderful to know he can be part of such an unlikely match.

“I’m fine. I just wish Mama and them could be here too.”

“Barclay, I know you care for them, but they agreed with me that this is not a party they’d feel comfortable attending.”

If memory serves, Mama’s word choice was “enjoy” not “comfortable” but he’s distracted from this detail by the orc currently in a hushed conversation with William’s parents. His accent is American, the same as Barclay’s. He knows William has no friends or family on the other side of the Atlantic, and he’s too well-dressed to be an attendant. When William’s parents fervently shake their heads, the newcomer turns and strides across the floor, right to the happy couple.

“Mr. Cobb” he offers Barclay a slight bow, shows no deference to William, “My name is Joseph Stern. I’m a private detective hired by your fiance’s family. They hoped I would find reason for him not to marry you. I have.”

“I, I don’t understand. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“No, you haven’t. The reason I suggest calling off the wedding is that he” Stern indicates William, “is not the least bit interested in you. He chose you because he knew his parents would disapprove of the match, which would in turn make it easier for him to call off the engagement two months from now and, three months after that, propose to his lifelong friend, Albert Rothby.”

Gasps and whispers fill the room. Barclay looks to William for reassurance but can’t find any; William’s too busy trading alarmed glances with Albert.

Stern continues, “His parents would be all too happy to accept the orc they once rejected for being from a slightly less well-off family after the shock and scandal of him almost marrying a nobody cook.”

“Hey!”

“His words, not mine.” The detective turns to the hosts, “You don’t need to pay me for my time, since I didn’t give you what you wanted. Good afternoon.”

A thoroughly baffled servant hands him his coat and hat as he exits, the room overflowing with chaotic accusations behind him. William doesn’t say two words to Barclay, choosing instead to shout at his parents. Barclay pulls off his silver engagement band, shoves it into his now ex-fiance’s hand, and storms out of the room.

He intends to make straight for the train station, hide his tears and humiliation until he’s safe under Amnesty’s worn shingles. But when he spies Stern on the corner handing coins to an errand boy, his foolish hope gets the better of him.

“How do you know?”

“Excuse me?”

“How do you know that’s really what William planned?”

Stern hails a cab, motions for Barclay to join him inside it. When they’re seated, he reaches into his coat and removes a bound stack of letters.

“Albert’s arrogant and sloppy; all it took was five pounds to get one of the maids to fish these out of his wastebasket.” He passes the notes to Barclay.

Each one he skims is like slicing his finger with a meat cleaver. Not a single piece of his personality or appearance remains unmocked by the time he’s done.

“I was just a game to him.” He stares at William’s signature, the same one that dots a pile of letters he’ll burn when he gets home. When he looks up, Stern’s face is full of sympathy.

“I considered not saying anything. That even if the engagement ended, you might be able to tell yourself it was a true love that wasn’t meant to be. But the longer I trailed you...I saw that you deserved better than being a pawn in someone else's trivial chess game. I offered his parent’s the chance for me to have the conversation in private; they doubled down on their insistence that you must be secretly awful to have lured their dear son to you. Ruining their party seemed fair.”

“I guess.” Barclay’s lip trembles. What was it William wrote? That he was as tender and devoted as a lapdog and twice as fun to kick around?

Stern produces a monogrammed handkerchief from his pocket, holds it out to him, “I’m sorry. I know ignorance is bliss but, um, wasting your heart on someone like him strikes me as hellish.”

Barclay wipes his eyes, but the tears insist on flowing, “No you’re, you’re right, it just, I, I really thought he loved me.” He lets out a bitter laugh, “I really am more brawn than brain, just like he said.”

“No, you’re not.” The cab slows, and Joseph’s blue eyes pin the pieces of his crumbling heart together, “and even if you were every single thing he said you were in those letters, that wouldn’t justify his treatment of you. You’re a good man, Barclay” he smiles for the first time, “someone will treat you how you deserve one of these days.”

The driver announces they’ve arrived at Barclays hotel. He glances at Stern, surprised.

He opens the door for Barclay with a wink, “detective.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Fall arrived on the first of September, meaning the business at Amnesty dwindles right along with leaves. They won’t see another flood of visitors until the winter holidays, when everyone travels up and down the country to meet with family. Barclay fills his days with work and tries not to think about how happy he was a year ago.

Dani has a cold, so he’s working the lobby counter until it’s time for him to start dinner. A chill and burst of nickel-tinted light announce a guest. When the orc approaches him, he drops his pen.

“Hello, Barclay. It’s nice to see you under happier circumstances.” Stern removes his hat, runs his fingers through his black hair, “would it be possible to rent a room here indefinitely? I’m on a case and I have no idea how long it’ll take.”

“Yeah, of course.” He pulls out the register to check which rooms are open, which would be easier if his eyes didn’t insist on flicking back to the orc in front of him. He’d noticed Stern was handsome before, in the same way he noticed the sky is blue or a piece of fruit was ripe. Now it’s all he sees; the cut of his clothes suggesting a trim, capable figure beneath, his clean shaveness showing off the angles of his jaw and cheeks. His tusks are the same size and not chipped like Barclays own. The cook wants Stern to sink them into his skin and not let up until he sobs for a kiss instead.

“Uh, here” he retrieves a key, “I can put you in number twelve. It’s upstairs, last door if you take a left.

“Great!” Stern takes the key, lifts his two bags, “thank you for accommodating me.” His gaze slows as it moves up to Barclays face, “I think I’m going to enjoy my stay.”

---------------------------------

Joseph hates the days where he has to wait for telegrams before proceeding with his investigation. It makes him feel like a dog gnawing its tail out of boredom. At least, it used to. Now that he’s at Amnesty, he’s never bored. It’s hard to be when the best looking orc he’s ever seen likes to talk with him while cleaning tables or making breakfast.

William Ashby is a fool. Joseph knew this when he watched him forgo a kind, interesting orc who was built like a god and had eminently kissable lips for the sake of some uninteresting upper class nobody. But now that he’s eating Barclays’ cooking every day, the opinion is twice as strong. No one should be able to make potatoes a divine experience, but his friend manages.

“No running around stuffy offices or abandoned houses today?” Barclay sits down across from him.

“Not until I get a telegram from that solicitor in London. Black or white?”

“White. Well, that’s good news for me, I get a chance to beat you.” He’s smiling, the firelight dancing in his eyes and off the copper in his beard. Joseph wishes he could mimic the light's path with his hands.

Instead, he grins as he lays out the chess pieces, “In your dreams.”

An hour and a half later, Barclay whoops, “checkmate” and Joseph falls even more in love.

-----------------------------------

“Barclay? Since it’s not raining I thought you might like to…” Joseph falls silent at the sight of Barclay sitting on his bed, facing the window with a defeated set to his shoulders.

“Sure, as long as we’re back before dark.” He shrugs and doesn’t so much as look over his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Joseph settles beside him, notices the handkerchief with his initials on it clutched between his hands. The tears on it are fresh.

“Nothing. Just, uh, just….this is the anniversary of when he proposed. Of when I thought someone loved me that way, of when I thought that, that...fuck, it’s gonna sound so silly.”

“You don’t have to say it but I, um, I hope you know I won’t judge you for whatever it is.”

Barclay twists the fabric, “I love my life here at Amnesty. I love Mama, all my friends, I love being a cook. But I’ve never been wealthy; Mama and I faced lots of hard times before coming here, especially when my folks died and she took me in. The Lodge does well but there’s always the fear that one day it won’t. I can be happy without fancy food or nice clothes or nights out but, uh,” he clears his throat, “that doesn’t mean I didn’t really like having them. I don’t miss him so much as I miss this feeling of being able to want without worry. Of, of thinking I’d get to do that forever.”

He lists to the side, rests his head on Joseph’s shoulder. He’s both taller and broader than Joseph, which adds to his charms, but right now the detective wishes he was smaller so he could gather him in his arms and protect him from the disappointing world. Give him what he’s missing.

An idea buzzes to the front of his mind. He rubs Barclays shoulder soothingly, “You have to go into London for some orders, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“I have to go in to deal with this case and check to make sure nothing urgent is waiting at my office. Do you want to go together?”

Barclay looks up at him, brown eyes glittering like precious metal, “I’d love to.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Barclay knows Joseph has wealthy clients; he’s starting to suspect he has even more of them than he lets on. They’re in London for two days, and every moment not spent sleeping or working is filled by Joseph taking Barclay somewhere. The meals are by far his favorite, but Joseph bought them tickets to the opera their second night. When Barclay worried he wouldn’t be well dressed enough, Joseph decided they could both do with new clothes and bought everything without blinking at the bill.

Now, Barclay is in a private box, belly full from their stop at Simpson’s and Joseph’s shoulder resting against his own. The music is beautiful, the staging intriguing, but he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, too warm and comfortable from the company and the darkness.

The port they had after dinner probably isn’t helping.

He rests his head back, let’s his eyes flutter closed. After a moment Joseph laughs softly and whispers, “A bit too full from dinner?”

“Mmmhmmm.”

“That’s okay. The whole point of tonight is for you to enjoy yourself. If that means happily lazing like a dog by a fire, that’s what you should do.”

Barclay tenses for a second, then relaxes. It’s not like when William kept referring to him as a dog; in Joseph’s voice it’s fond, like a master who knows he indulges his hound but doesn’t care.

“That’s me. Just a spoiled pet.” He murmurs.

Short claws trace across his upper thigh, “As it should be.”

His eyes flutter open; Joseph watches him in the dark, expression attentive and possessive. His fingers don’t move even a centimeter until Barclay nods. Then they finish curving over his thigh to stroke his cock through his pants.

No one can see them, but even so his eyes dart side to side before shutting once more.

“Good boy” Joseph sighs, “sweet boy.”

Barclay nods, squirms as the touches stay teasing.

“Don’t rush. We have a whole other act to go. Just keep quiet; you’re a big, sweet beast, I’d hate to have to” he presses his palm down, “discipline you.”

He bites his tongue to keep from groaning; when they’re back at the lodge, he’s going to misbehave so much.

Joseph keeps up his steady, calculated teasing, Barclay never moving past half-hard. He falls into an almost sleep-like state, feeling weightless and far away from himself yet completely safe in Joseph’s care.

Then swift fingers undo his trousers and a handkerchief wraps around his cock. He throws a palm over his mouth as Joseph jerks his hand up and down.

“It’s almost over.” The detective murmurs, chuckles when Barclay crumples to hide his face in his neck, “that’s it, be a good boy and---oh, oh good lord.” He stifles a sigh in Barclays hair while Barclay cums into the cloth, saturating it embarrassingly fast. William once compared him, unfavorably, to a centaur in that regard. Joseph simply kisses his forehead and tidies him up. By the time they exit, the only sign of their dalliance is Barclays wobbly legs.

He fully intends to return the favor, but sex-drunkeness and general exhaustion drag him to sleep before Joseph is even in bed.

Their morning is a brisk packing up of things followed by a trip to the train station. Once they’re in their cabin, Joseph looks over the notes he made during his research.

“I just can’t shake the feeling Mr. Newton is in danger.”

“Giant cursed hound will do that.”

“I’m not so sure that’s it. I’m not ruling out the supernatural, but there are elements of this that feel distinctly orcish and very much alive in their threat. I’m glad he brought that friend of his with him; were he in Beacon House alone, he could be in serious trouble.” He closes his small notebook.

“I still can’t tell if he’s more than a friend.”

“They might not know. The few times I’ve run into Mr. Newton or Mr.Cold, they seem to be in stalemate, neither willing to make a move.”

“Good thing you don’t have that problem.” Barclay winks, then realizes he might be reading the other orc wrong, “I, uh, I mean, not that last night has to mean anything.”

Joseph unbuttons his coat, “I, um, I hoped it might.”

“Thankfuck.” Barclay slumps back, “me too.”

There’s a click of the lock, then Joseph stands and begins undoing his pants, “speaking of which, it seems to me a good boy would reward me for last night.”

“Yes, oh fuck yes.” He scrambles to get his cock out, stroking it frantically as Joseph rolls up his sleeves.

“You’re so eager to please, it makes me want to give you everything you ask for.”

“Please?”

Joseph, now bare from the waist down, bends to kiss him, “Please what?”

“Please let me fuck you, let me mppph!” His moan slips straight down Joseph’s throat as he sinks onto Barclays cock.

“Ohhhhhyes, ohmylord” the tips of his ears twitch as he rocks his hips, “you feel so good”

“Y-you’re one to talk, fuck, Joseph can I touch you?”

“Anywhere you waAAnt” he tips his head back, whisper threatening to break as Barclay drops a thumb down to rub his cock. He sets his hands on Barclay’s shoulders, “we, we don’t have much time, and I do need to review more of the case before we arrive, so be a good boy and let me ride you hard and fast?”

“Yes, yesfuck, ohyeah” A laugh catches on his tongue as Joseph, his dignified, debonair detective, sets to bouncing up and down on his cock with the kind of abandon he only witnessed when he used to serve drinks in a brothel.

Joseph grins, kisses him messily as their grunts meld with the rumble of the train. Barclay glides his free hand around to grope and paw his ass, savoring how it tightens with the effort of riding, of taking Barclay again and again. Curious, he gives it a light slap, wishing he could see a little pink bloom on the green there.

“Careful, sweet boy; if anyone’s ass is getting bruised it’s yours.”

“Tonight?” He smiles hopefully at Joseph’s flushed face.

“Yes, Barclay tonight. Tonight I’ll, ohlord, strip you down, let you rut on the bed like the needy beast you are while I turn your ass tender and red before fucking it, oh, ohshit, Barclay.” He smashes their lips together as he cums, Barclay whining with pleasure at the fact that he got him there. The detective doesn’t break the kiss as he pulls off, simply uses his strong legs to keep straddling him as he jerks Barclay off with one hand and rucks his own shirt up with the other. Barclay moans helplessly as he cums in large, white droplets all up his stomach and chest.

“You’re wonderful.” Joseph kisses his cheek.

“So are you.” Barclay holds him close, giggles adoringly when Joseph starts concocting theories while half-naked and cuddled in his lap. By the time they reach home, there’s no sign of their dalliance.

Except for their linked hands and matching smiles.

#sternclay #agent stern/ barclay #meet ugly #orc au #victorian au

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Text

Iris

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Reader, 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character

Description: Was there faith in a false paradise with a savior that spilled honey sweet lies to make you agree? There is no life to be found amongst those in a rotting flowerbed, only those clinging to the roots as the world awaits your demise. Why is he still here when others had long been plucked from the dying earth? And better yet, why are you still here after everything, clinging to his roots as if he’ll bring you life? Or is he the one clinging to you?

SE Saeran x Former Believer Reader

Word Count: 6700

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Chapter Ten

Saeran: Why didn’t you tell me that you’d been talking to Jumin Han? Saeran: Why are you doing this? Saeran: Did they force you to do this? Saeran: Are they making you do this? Saeran: Answer me, Iris.

When Jumin called you in for a meeting, the only thing that you did was stare down at your phone with a swirling pit of dread climbing up to your throat. It wasn’t that you lied to Saeran about the fact that you had been with Jumin Han. You just didn’t know that you had to bring it up to him in the first place. How were you supposed to know that he was still anywhere near them? Or, was this problem just about him being upset that you were even in contact with them?

There was a lot that you didn’t know about Saeran Choi. In fact, you didn’t even know his name until two weeks ago. There was a world of secrets beyond your reach that belonged inside of him. Those secrets had always been underneath the lock and key away from prying eyes, and you were only one person who had seen a glimpse of what it meant to be within those sights.

You had seen within his world and even then, some pieces didn’t belong to you. Those things weren’t meant for you to know, were they? You had an idea of the outcome and how things played out but there were things that you didn’t know for a reason. Things that were being kept out of sight and out of mind for a purpose. The fact that Jumin offered this at all meant that he wanted to know more.

Even if he was being considerate of everything that you’d done up until this point, a part of you didn’t even want to consider meeting with him until the trial came. You had already found him on your own and there was no need to demand answers about him when you could contact him on your phone without any problem. Yet, the promise had still been asked, and Jumin reached on your behalf anyway.

They didn’t need to know that you had already found Saeran and that you were speaking to him of your own accord. Your relationship with him was nobody’s business but your own, and even if the people who knew of it were small and underwhelming, they didn’t get to know the way that you’d loved him or how you’d come to desire him like nothing else. Nobody would know how you could cradle his face in your hands and kiss him until you were breathless.

Back then, you weren’t sure who started it and you didn’t know who finished it, but at some point, you stopped barking at each other and started biting instead. One day, you found yourself unable to stop staring at his lips and the rest is history. Your thoughts clouded over with nothing but the need to forget everything around you. In many ways, you comforted each other and nobody could deny that much.

But, some might say that your choices were nothing but using Saeran to survive… or vice versa. They had never been able to use each other, and you knew it, but nobody else knew that fact. You both clung to each other in the darkness, kissing, touching, praying, feeling, looking for a reason to see the light in the darkness when it felt like there was nothing to believe in. As your faith in paradise changed together, you found salvation in one another.

Your face felt warm when you thought about it but it almost tore your heart when you did. All of those memories were bittersweet, clouded with elixir and daydreams. But, that didn’t change any fact about it. It happened and you both shared something that you had to hide away from the rest of the world to stay together. That’s how paradise’s charm slowly lost its luster and stopped feeling like what it was meant to be.

You still couldn’t say when it changed for good but you could say that you knew when you stopped thinking about going to the church to repent for your pleasure. You knew when you stopped going to the ceremony to cleanse your soul with the believers, opting to partake of the elixir only by Saeran’s side, in the darkness where the rest of the world could never understand what you felt.

It was funny, you thought, the Savior thought you two were only more committed to the cause the more time that you spent locked away. She had never suspected a thing about you… she only grew angry when Saeran had disappeared for what felt like forever, and she blamed you for the loss that she could face if he didn’t return. A part of you wondered what she would’ve done if she knew, if she would’ve done anything.

Paradise was about this mission and surely, you two having doubts in the light of salvation would have been enough for her to fix you if she wanted. Again, that was another piece of the puzzle in which you had no answers. It felt like Saeran had lied and hidden things from you for a reason, in many ways, it might have protected you, but in others, the lack of any information left you in the dark, feeling sick of the unknown.

The unknown had once felt like a comfort to you but the more that you believed Unknown, no, in Saeran, you couldn’t turn away from it. But right now, you wished that you could’ve known just as much as Saeran did. Maybe if you did, this wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. Maybe if you hadn’t been a liability, you could’ve been stronger and stayed by his side… maybe if you had fought to leave that room with him…

The what-ifs often got to you when you got lost in this cycle. You knew that nothing was ever going to change these thoughts and feelings in your heart. You and Saeran hadn’t been talking about Mint Eye since you had begun speaking again. You had been talking about everything but that… your lives… your hobbies… your thoughts… your desires… and photos of the world that’d been passing you by before you were free.

He had such a way with words… it left you reeling and feeling like you had a place to belong. He was different, but in many ways, he was still the same man that you knew. His crooked smile and glaring charm couldn’t die out. There was simply no denying it. You still felt a yearning inside of your heart for him that you couldn’t wash away. That warmth was there and as happy as you were to talk to him, it…

You could see the traces of the memory of the man that you once knew. His sense of humor hadn't changed but it didn't fight as hard as it used to. It made you laugh in a way that nobody else ever had. It might have just been because he was bitter about the rest of the world and he was too aware of everything to ever be anything more than a nihilist. He just knew how to see things as they truly were.

But in many ways, you agreed with that point of view.

There was a lot of bad in this world and finding the good things was impossible. Only the little things made it feel worth it. You were living on the shared expenses of someone who needed you for the gain of putting away the woman that tortured you and countless others, and even if you were living in a state of luxury compared to what you once had, it didn’t make you feel happier in any sense of the word.

The only things that made you happy were the little things you could control. You could control when you left the hotel to sit in the park, you could control when you went to get some food or ice cream, and you could more or less ensure that your hours were spent doing something for yourself as long as it wasn’t a day for therapy and reflection. After seeing Saeran, you had skipped the group session that week.

It wasn’t like it was benefitting you in any way, you just had to relive those moments aloud and never reach the conclusion that everyone else would. Ignorance is bliss but you knew too much of nothing to be like the rest of the former believers. Yet, you didn’t know enough to control the sake of your reality around you. It was like you didn’t belong anywhere with anyone. You were the one in the middle that knew too much but couldn’t prove to know enough.

But when you spoke to Saeran again, it was like you had a place to belong. It was like the rest of those feelings didn’t matter anymore and you could finally exist. Being with him had made you feel like there was a place meant for you to fit in. Before him and after him, the rest of the world felt like it just moved around you, it never moved with you.

You were trying to find your way in from the outside when there were no doors to let you escape the box that you were confined to.

It was safe.

It was like there was someplace that you could finally be but didn't make you feel sick to your stomach. It was hard enough coming out of that place trying to make sense of reality on your own. You were still in this place of grief and suffering even after a year of being out of it. You weren't sure that the pain was ever going to leave your heart. You weren't sure that the health effects that came with it were going to leave you, either.

You wondered if it was worse for Saeran. You struggled with night terrors regularly, the ones where you could scream for hours and lose all sense of control. You barely had much of an appetite. It was hard to make yourself eat when you felt like there was a hole in your stomach on the worst days. The doctors said you were lucky because your dose of the elixir had been nowhere near the amounts that other members had taken.

It was almost as if…

Somebody had started tapering you off of the elixir well before things went wrong.

As you sat there in the lonely room waiting for Jumin to arrive, a realization occurred to you that you couldn’t cast aside for the rest of your life. Wait. Was the reason why nothing made sense near the end because you had a clear mind? You stopped taking elixir with the crowd after a while of being with him, and started sharing with Saeran, he had been the one to get your dosage.

Did that mean that he changed your dosage?

Was that even possible?

He couldn’t dump it or change it, because the Savior inspected everything that you and he took every week. Because if people weren’t underneath the watchful eye of the guards during the weekly ceremony… Well, everyone had to take it. There was no excuse and the only reason you could step away from that was because you “had work to do that needed to secure paradise.” This thought made you think twice.

That wasn’t the case, was it? How could you know? You and Saeran hadn’t talked about any of that. You had only been talking about the present that you lived within. You spoke more of your new lives and coping skills than anything. There was an unspoken sea of tension that neither one of you could deny.

Then again, you weren't exactly in the best mind during the last week. Rika had… Rika made you pay personally for Unknown’s disappearance even though you had been nowhere near him to do anything. No, you had been with her when Unknown was taken. You couldn’t have done one thing being by her side.

You always had more questions than answers in your heart. Maybe you needed to find the willpower to talk to him about those days… but, was he going to be willing to do that now that he knew that you had been talking to the RFA? It wasn’t like you wanted to, but you didn’t get much of a choice. Jumin had given you everything to sustain yourself when you had nowhere else to turn.

You didn’t accept the help because you wanted it. You took it because you had nothing else, and there was no way to turn back to a family or friends. You couldn’t take care of all the things that you needed. You sucked up your pride and let it happen, and convinced yourself that the trade-off was worth it… even if it put you in this position.

You never thought that Saeran would know about it or get involved within it. Given how Jumin never wanted to brush the subject with you. He didn’t hate certain members as far as you knew, at least, the ones that you knew personally now, so you weren’t sure why he was on edge. However, there was a pool of secrets here that you wanted answers to and if this was how to get them, was it worth the risk?

You weren’t sure.

At this point, you just wished that you could share ice cream with him again… back at Magenta, where there was the only luxury that you could afford every week by hiding it away. You wanted back those times that made sense to you but they weren’t close to your hands anymore. They were all gone and in the past where you couldn’t reach.

Much like the answers you craved, but you could have your answers, right?

As your mind whirled with thoughts, you almost didn’t even hear the sounds of Jumin Han’s voice on the other side of the doorway. “Ah, Saeran… welcome.”

—

Unknown was unbelievably quick at everything that he did. It was only a matter of time until he had MC’s life in his hands and by the time he knew anything and everything he needed to know, it was all too easy for him to lure them to the secondary location. You couldn’t believe it since it happened in the blink of an eye. The plan had come together like lightning, flashing and glowing all around you until nothing remained in the way.

You knew that you shouldn’t have any doubt at what he was capable of. After all, he had managed to grasp everything he ever wanted well before this. You knew that he was right about this being the best fit for the circumstance but you couldn’t help but ponder the outcome of this reality in which the pain didn’t work out the way that it needed to. When you expressed your doubts about it, Unknown merely got that look in his eyes.

The one that said that he had an idea that you wouldn’t be able to avoid. The look that told you that he understood your concerns and he was going to take care of it in his way. That’s why when his fingers curled around your wrist, you knew that he made up his mind. Every touch that he reached for made your heart tremble for some reason, but you still bit back whenever it sprang up for your safety.

Safety from what, you hadn’t figured out yet.

However, you knew that no matter what those bubbling feelings were inside of your chest, you needed to hang tightly to your perspective. No matter what Unknown did or said, you knew it to be another game of chance and risk.

A game where you and he would bounce back and forth in the darkness as you decided whether to play nice or play enemies. He would press too hard to see what you would do and you would sink your teeth in until he had to show you more of what was hidden underneath the surface. You were partners but there was still a line between you… a line was drawn in the sand by the boundaries of paradise.

Partners who had their secrets that were spread across the place and thrown aside like the group of puzzle pieces never meant to be found.

His murmured whisper of “Iris,” sent you reeling every time he said it. You still didn’t know what he meant and he wouldn’t confess why he said it. All you knew was in his state of fever, he said that the Savior was going to get rid of the garden staff and you were among them. Did she think that a traitor was within them? To cleanse and dispose of everyone meant that something was wrong in a massive way.

What did it mean?

Who was it?

What were you missing?

And, why did he say he saved you?

He hung that over your head just outside of your reach simply because there was a sense that he knew it annoyed you. All the more reason why you’d bite your tongue whenever he tried to pick your brain apart about the mission.

You had a duty to paradise but at the same time, he wasn’t due to your personal opinion of the task and the people that were going to be saved. It was like gnashing teeth when he tried to probe your brain for a taste of vinegar that may have matched his own. You liked to dangle the wire in front of him.

It was a taste of his own medicine.

If he wanted to push your buttons and challenge you, you could repay him tenfold with what he wanted. Even if it meant that you would wind up pressed into a corner with his breath ghosting against your throat… or that his hands would creep into your corner and dare you to push back against his hold.

You and he were dangerously close to each other in ways that neither of you wanted to acknowledge aloud.

You would wind up breathing in the words that he exhaled, hanging on every single word as he dared you every step of the way. He would search your eyes for answers that he had no way of finding as fast as he wanted. This tension was like a coil in the pit of your stomach that was just waiting for the floodwaters to finally burst over the dam and allow for the water to drown the land and sweep away the innocents.

A part of you wanted to hate the way that it made you feel but another part of you… God, you yearned for the feeling of his vinegar and salt in your wounds.

Nobody had ever made you feel this way. Everybody that you’d never known had used you for everything you were worth or they made you feel like you were nothing more than a ghost in their lives… meaningless, pointless, and with no hope of being desired by anyone until you were useful.

Unknown makes you feel alive again. In the same way that the bitter elixir had made you remember what it felt like to be alive and mean something. But, unlike the elixir, the burn that came from the world that Unknown lived in didn’t make you want to retch and gag. It made you want to run the length of your fingers against the wound and enjoy the feeling that came from knowing your pain giving you life.

It was a pain that felt truly bittersweet, urging you to keep wading into the fire to be able to taste the fruit that lay at the center. It was dark chocolate that made you crave more each time you’d taken a bite from the desire. Those desires weren’t something that you’d felt before, and it seemed as though neither had he. That’s why you were floating between this space of pulling hair and yet, reaching out with a longing hand.

The fluttering feeling inside of your chest that came whenever he called you “my Iris,” now that was a dangerous thought. You didn’t understand why it was getting to you, burying itself deep in your chest… but it was happening. These strange feelings whenever you were close to him that’d make your mind swell with endless thoughts.

It didn’t make any sense but it made perfect at the same time. You didn’t have any space to think about it but what you did do was let it happen. There was no stopping the feeling that was in the back of your head. It was going to persist just as strongly as Unknown did because his presence was that… overwhelming and strong, unable to ignore due to the sheer strain he could bring to anyone’s mind.

When you told him that the MC may not be naive enough to take the deal, he knew that you weren’t wrong about that. So, he had to take precautions. That meant he had to leave Mint Eye for the day to ensure that they did what they were meant to do no matter what. He would’ve hated to have to clean up a mess and bring someone in to be saved before they could make that choice for themselves.

At least, that’s how you both phrased it aloud without thinking of the truth.

It was messy to force salvation but it was easier to bring to it people that needed it by their own admission. MC was just one person but to go through the process would take weeks and there wasn’t that kind of time. Savior wanted things to get started and there was no way to disappoint her and win. She wanted success and she was going to have it.

Paradise was going to have it with MC and if it didn’t work out, she’d be upset. Nobody wanted to upset the Savior, her desires were important and even if you didn’t know all the details, whatever it was that she wanted was what everyone in paradise wanted. If she was happy, she would be able to provide safety and comfort to those that sought her welcoming hands.

You didn’t want to upset the Savior. You wanted to continue to do what was intended and the right thing for paradise. He wanted the perfect assistant that did everything right. When you and he managed to pull off this mission, it meant that paradise would feel better, and you had faith in the reality around you when Unknown agreed that the mission would feel better when completed.

That once paradise reached its intended goal, things would change and the isolating feeling that you had would go away. You would be able to taste power and freedom, and that would make any burn of elixir dwindle away… just as it did when you were with Unknown. The taste of tart sour and bitter acid masked and gloved with mint would be nothing compared to the taste of sunrise that you’d be able to see from the center of the cathedral.

The way he described it made it sound like heaven and the way you imagined made it sound like nirvana. It was there and you just had to reach out and take it. So, that’s what you did, you held onto this wish in your heart of seeing paradise at its peak by Unknown’s side, and that’s how you wound up here, wearing some of his street clothes as the two of you worked together to ensure MC entered the apartment.

Those thoughts were lingering on your mind as you stood at your position, your headset hidden well as you stood casually in the stairwell, waiting for MC to pass you by so you could confirm to Unknown that they had opened the messenger app that he intended to use to lure them into the secondary location. You hadn’t been on the outside in months so being there again felt like kind of losing control of your senses.

It was strange to be in the world that existed outside of paradise. Even knowing that you would be leaving it to return safely to the mountains, you couldn’t help but feel a disgusting feeling inside of your chest that remembered what it felt like to be here on the streets. You remembered feeling lost and afraid of everything around you until you were saved. MC was like that, you told yourself, and they would find safety soon enough.

They had a routine and as expected, they walked right past you and lifted their phone from their coat pocket as it dinged. They paused and hit the screen once which told you that they’d fallen for the bait. You were surprised they just clicked the app that they didn’t know. Man, people on the outside could be so stupid.

“It looks like they’re right on time,” you said, slowly, knowing that Unknown could hear you from his set-up. He was closer to the apartment than you were. He had to be because he had to tamper with the security cameras. Looping all of the feeds and trying to trick them for this building and the surrounding area wasn’t simple and it had taken days of your work together to do it.

MC paid no mind to you since you were just another stranger on the street that would pass them by and keep going. They kept walking and watched as they rounded a corner and began their walk to the mission. You took the back way around to meet with Unknown who would be waiting for you at the apartment just lingering by the elevator and waiting for MC to show up where they’d be needed.

You kept your eyes on MC’s location on your borrowed phone but stayed steadfast to meet with him. You didn’t know what he was telling them but you knew that he was handling that. You just had to make sure that MC walked in the right direction to get there. If they stepped out of line, you would have to hop in and play the bystander who… helped.

It would be better to not leave a trace anywhere near them but hey, c’est la vie. You watched with bated breath as MC steadily took the option to help him because they grew closer and closer to the apartment. You figured that you wouldn’t have to step in at that point so you made your way back to Unknown instead, but keeping an eye on MC every step of the way.

You had a part to play and you were ready to play it. You had no doubt in your mind that he was going to win and lure them in but without touching base yourself, you couldn’t help but wonder what he needed you for in the first place. Sure, you were backed up, but he was handling pretty much all of the details alone.

You felt like a pretty face instead of a partner at times like this. Yet, you were just as committed as he was. Did he doubt that you could handle it? Did he want to take credit for everything himself when all was said and done? Or was this just another part of his revenge? Because you wondered if he was keeping you out to avoid letting you see what he hated the most.

Were those people that bad?

What would hurt Unknown so much that he’d want to burn their houses to the ground as they melted to dust? You could understand the righteous fury of making someone pay for what they had done to you but he never wanted the help that you offered. He wanted the spoils of relief for himself… even if it made it harder for him, huh.

Unknown didn’t respond to you but you doubted he would. You could hear him grumbling and type away from your end but that was it. MC was trying to pry things out of him but he started to push back. You weren’t sure of what he was saying, but you could guess given the tone of his voice. MC was supposed to help people without thinking twice. If he wanted to be stubborn, so be it, but you wouldn’t let the mission fail because of it.

They weren’t going to make a mess, were they? Surely, they wouldn’t ask too many questions if they wanted to help out. They couldn’t have doubts… not this close to getting what he wanted to have.

“Trouble in paradise, boss?”

“I didn’t ask for your input, Iris.”

“You know, people with good hearts will listen to anyone who is dedicated to good deeds in their religion,” you hummed as you began to climb the flight of stairs. It was a repetitive process but it was something that you could focus on. “Sell it to them that way, I doubt they’d have qualms for helping us if you urge them that this means something to paradise.”

There was a scoff on the other line but you heard him type again. It seemed like he had taken the hint to change his tactics if he wanted things to work out properly. Even if he was determined to try his way, you were going to stand behind him and give him a better reason to complete what he wanted. “I guess birds of a feather flock together, assistant.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you imply I’m a moron, boss.”

There was no further response from him so you kept up your trek up the stairs and through the hallways that didn’t have cameras in their line of sight. It took five minutes to get to where he was by the end of it but you stood at his side once you reached the top stair, peering over his shoulder at the phone in his hand where he was typing away another messenger in the chatroom. It wasn’t something you saw often.

The glitched background looked broken and almost alive as it sputtered around his device. Had he had to break into another messenger to do that? Because the model you’d seen on his computer did not look like that.

MC: Alright. I guess if it means that much to you, I’ll try to leave a note. MC: It’s not that far from me, I think this building is a block away. Huh, guess you’re lucky. Unknown: Thank you! ^^ Unknown: It means the world to me. Thanks to your good deed, my conscience will feel so much better. MC: I’m happy to hear it. MC: Um, give me a minute, I’ll let you know when I get there. Unknown: It’s already an inconvenience, I know, take your time.

“What did I tell you?”

Unknown glanced back at you, the jeer on his face evident even with the mask that he was wearing to obscure his features from view. He had too much pride to admit that he couldn’t do something on his own but you appreciated that he listened. It was a sign that you were partners, and that’s all you wanted to be acknowledged for.

You wanted to know without a shadow of a doubt that this was made for you and him.

“And what did I tell you?” Unknown replied, his voice dripping with what you could never call amusement, and his phone settled in his pocket as you waited for MC to appear on this floor. The two of you were out of a line of sight for someone that exited the elevator and tucked just enough around a corner that they wouldn’t notice if they glanced back.

Of course.

Silence settled across the floor as you both waited. There was nothing to do but wait and see what MC would do. They seemed to be going ahead without thinking clearly about it. They were acting with their heart and not their head. It was something that could be used to twist their arm back behind them until they had no choice but to submit and carry on. As long as they kept following the wire, it would be good enough.

So, you leaned against the wall behind him and thought about how it felt to be out again. It was strange, you never thought about coming here again because it simply didn’t cross your mind as readily as it did in the past. Magenta had everything you needed and you never had to think about not having enough or not doing enough. It was just enough and simple to live with, at least, when compared to the cesspool that once you resided.

It had never been a desire of yours to go back to living in this world because it wasn’t your home anymore. You felt comfort and safety within Magenta, and in many ways lately, you felt that true safety with Unknown. Because you never had to think twice about him, what you said, how you felt, or what you wanted. You didn’t have to think. It just came naturally around him, perhaps it was because he understood the anger.

The knot in your stomach said otherwise, however, given the fact that whenever he was close now, you felt your heart fluttering and your body tingling. There was something about him that just did not want to be ignored. He commanded all attention for a reason, and you were included in those people that couldn’t look away.

But, did he think of you in that same way, you wondered.

What did he think when you were close to him? When your fingers brushed against his or when his hands pooled on your lap and reminded him that you were pressed against him. What was that soft but alluring feeling that fluttered like electricity between you? That dangerous feeling that left you in a state of confusion and disarray.

“Just on time,” you heard Unknown chuckle after some time had passed, but you didn’t move from your spot. You knew better than that. This was everything and the tenseness that came down to the wire meant everything. If MC refused to go into the apartment, they’d be a failure and you’d have to start over again, and if they went in, they'd win the first step of the game that had only just begun.

You waited.

He waited.

Then, with a resounding clatter from down the hallway, you knew that MC had taken the bait and the hook. They’d be caught and they shut the door as they entered the lonely apartment that was a fortress for now but soon enough, would be prime for the undoing of those that had hurt him so much in the past. Unknown’s pleased chuckle told you enough as he caught your wrist and began the trek down to the bottom of the building.

He seemed to be on cloud nine knowing that things had worked the way he wanted, and far be it from you to destroy that high. You were pleased as well, knowing that this was a step in the right direction to making things work the way they were always meant to. It meant that paradise was a single step closer to being heaven on Earth.

By the time you were already a ways away from the building and MC, Unknown was still riding that high. You had never seen him laugh like this forever. It was like he was finally showing you another side of himself. He looked almost weightless as he laughed and laughed, leaving you to start smiling as you rounded another corner and continued to make your way back to the car.

He only paused when you reached the final alley to the van that you’d traveled to the city in, stopping you by pressing his arm against the wall. “I’ve done it,” he breathed, a wild look in his eyes as you turned to face him, your back leaning against the wall as he spoke so clearly. “We’ve done it. This is it. The start of everything that they’ve built will burn to the ground once we’re through with them. Can you believe it? Those idiots, I’ve got them eating out of the palm of my hand. I’ll finally make him pay for everything he’s done to me and I’ll be free of his burdens.”

You cocked your head, “He?”

Unknown didn’t seem to realize that he had said that.

Rather, he just leaned in closer as it felt like the two of you was steadily losing the space between you. He wasn’t acting like himself but at the same time, you knew that darkened look in his eyes like the back of your hand. His breath ghosted against your lips as he spoke again, “And you’ll be by my side, Iris. We’ll destroy them together and bury them alive. You want that, don’t you? You want to see paradise prosper?”

He always made it sound amazing, didn’t he?

You found yourself hanging on to his every word, leaning in as he spoke and feeling that burning feeling starting to brew in your chest again. It was a dangerous game, and all you could think about at that moment was letting the fire burn even hotter. He was daring you to agree with him and say you wanted the same thing to come. You did want what he wanted, but how deep did that run for paradise?

For the both of you?

“If burning them down means paradise will blossom into something like my heart’s garden oasis, then yes,” you returned his words and felt your heart jump as you did. “Yes, I want the same thing as you, Unknown.”

“Then tell me something,” he continued. His gaze was steely and unwavering as he breathed in the breath you exhaled. “Are you feeling it right now? Are you feeling this desire? Are you feeling what it feels like to taste victory at my side? Don’t you want more? Aren’t you greedy for paradise and the pleasure it unfolds? Tell me the truth, Iris… I’ll know if you lie.”

That was a dangerous question.

Neither of you was supposed to do what you were doing at this moment, you were meant to be in the car and on the way to paradise to report back, but here you were, twisted together in the dark alley as you couldn’t be any closer than you already were. You had been tangled together many times now but this felt different.

This felt like a victory and the high was shared, knowing that you’d the power to do anything. This wasn’t where you stated but it was where you were.

Yet, neither of you could seem to care about it.

“And I’ll know if you’re playing a game,” you lifted one of your hands and pressed against his cheek as the cold feeling suddenly felt warm for the first time. “I thought you said you’d never waste your time on something frivolous. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I want my Iris.”

That smug look had bothered you long enough.

So, you wiped it from his face, kissing him with everything you had burning inside of you after all this time, leaving you uncontrollable and untethered reality. All that mattered at that moment was the taste of mint against your lips and the feeling of Unknown’s hands on your hips. This was very dangerous… but you loved the thrill of danger because it brought you peace.

Your mind was whirling with everything you’d been through but you couldn’t seem to care about any of it.

The only thing that mattered was drowning in his kiss.

11 notes · View notes

vlads-yuka · 4 years

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A few Ikepri suitor theories (hc?)

So just earlier (not really anymore, since this took me a few d a y s) I was talking on discord about who among the suitors would be which type (the mom, yandere, tsundere etc) and since I wrote such a long thing about Rio, I thought I could try to do the same for the others 👉👈

I base my assumptions on translations I found of canon content (as of June 7th) as well as my own understanding of Japanese (I might be wrong about things that I claim canon, so if I do please tell me).

♦

Leon

So it's pretty obvious that Leon is the Ore-sama type basic black haired first guy. I honestly don't have much to say about him, his animal is the Lion, often labeled as the king of animals (how funny haha) so he's going to be very proud and probably use MC just to do his thing and that's it. It's likely he treats MC unfairly and grants you a few misogynistic comments about how useless you are if not to allow him the throne. Eventually, he'll fall in love and become at first awkward af and then probably really sweet and somewhat protective (he has a goal to achieve and his pride won't allow him to let you be hurt in front of him). He'll have some kind of sexy scene when feelings are returned and single handedly resolve whatever drama happens while swearing to protect you and make you happy once everything is over.

♦

Yves

Yves is really awkward. He tries to act tough like he doesn't give a damn but that's to hide that he's too clumsy to say things honestly (unless it comes to Licht). Pretending to be a tsundere, maybe his lack of luck will also come with the fact that being a bitch to everyone draws them away from you, and he's probably scared of hurting the people he cares about with his harsh words, but that's his only way to hide his "weak" self. He actually doesn't feel comfortable with a lot of people so he doesn't bother opening up. He's dense as fuck and doesn't realize that Licht DOESN'T CARE. Once you try hard enough and keep on being nice to him even though he'd expect you to hate him by now, he'll be so thrown off guard that you'll get to see his adorable stuttering messy self. He'll probably threaten you to not spill what you know about this part of him. He'll gradually sweeten and allow himself to touch more MC and he probably has the cutest laugh once he fully opens up. He's not really clingy unless he's sleeping with MC (you're not getting out of the hug until he says so) and will act selfishly from time to time because suddenly he wants a hug but doesn't want to do it in front of everyone. Note that his earring will be an important part of his past and since there's only one of it, it's either that the other is somewhere else or it's originally not an earring and was something else belonging to someone dear to him. He might break/lose it at some point in his route (since he's unlucky). After MC help him trying to fix/find it for his sake he'll grow soft and tell her how she makes him happier than ever by being her lover and he doesn't need it anymore if he has you, thanking you to have let him love you (I'm thinking about that one adorable cg in the trailer where you can't see his earring and I can't tell if it's just hidden or not) and he'll find/have it fixed soon after. He'll probably tell you that being by your side makes him feel better because he's so lucky to have you that it's almost like his usual rotten luck is meaningless (or at least that's what he'll think if he's too embarrassed to say it). He probably needs to be praised (not exaggerated or he'll sulk thinking you're making fun of him) and he'll blush into an adorable mess.

♦

Licht

Licht is that one suitor who thinks he doesn't need anyone (and no one needs or wants him). He's super love deprived and will say mean stuff like he's too cool for you (it's canon he's a kuudere and misanthropist) and sincerely doesn't want to have to do anything with anyone. He's the definition of a lone wolf (funny innit) and will be cold, interested and mean with MC for a good part of the beginning of his route. Now this could go two ways. Either Nokto will reveal you about his/their past (because he's that bitch but he probably cares about him) which will allow you to somewhat find your way inside his shell and let you do something he likes, which would, for once, let him show his pure and cute smile, or something will happen causing him to have to protect you (it may be a real danger, but I'd rather think it would be something not necessarily dangerous but triggering to a trauma) and he'd drop his resting bitch face. I think his case could be similar to Kenshin's. He doesn't dislike people, he just hates that he can't/couldn't protect them. His animal being the wolf, I think Licht would become very protective once in a relationship. Him being the powerful male of you two, he'd act like the leader of a bundle of wolves and protect you as you and him. By that I mean he doesn't protect you especially, he protect what the both of you are, and it's like protecting himself at the same time. I think he'd be really quite but would love nuzzling in private. He's that one prince who's icy to everyone but warm to his lover in private. In the same logic as protecting, he'd make sure that you have everything you need and I can imagine Nokto working a bit behind the scenes too to make sure Licht can open himself in a good environment with MC. I don't think Licht hates Nokto, but I definitely think he'd be mad that Nokto is popular and can keep people around him (and in that way, somewhat protect them) so I can see Nokto understanding that and plotting things so MC can help his brother regain confidence. Licht would be the type to, like wolves, have his lover stick to him all the time, but it wouldn't feel obsessive, it'd feel more natural and protective (he's definitely not a yandere imo). In terms of displays of affection, he wouldn't be too vocal about his feelings (he doesn't know much about it yet, it's not really familiar to him to let himself feel so much) and wouldn't say much in general, he's more of an action person. In public, your hands would probably be GLUED but that's about it. In private he'd definitely hug a lot more than kissing and would be the big spoon most of the time when cuddling.

♦

Jin

I have a feeling Jin is one of those suitors who thinks MC is too pure for him and he shouldn't stain them with however disgusting he thinks he is. I expect him to be a fun mix between Shingen and Arthur and I'm pretty sure his route will be a RIDE. He's absolutely shameless and probably touchy (it's canon he's a boob man, Clavis said it so you better believe it), but I don't think he will with MC. Since he said in his profile he wants to watch MC chose a suitor rather than get involved in becoming king, I think it's going to start by him spending gradually less time with Clavis as he spies on you. Naturally, he'll fall in love (before MC does) and understand quite fast but might take some time to acknowledge it. Something will probably happen like MC randomly tripping or facing a dangerous situation for him to come out of the shadows to protect both her body and her pureness (the type of guy to fight while telling you to not open your eyes and remove your hands from your ears until he says so). Upon you thanking him, he'll go with a bitter smile because he knows he loves it but doesn't deserve it. MC will probably try to make it up to him and so he will spend more and more time being intoxicated with love while trying to push you away. Will come a moment where something bad happens and he realizes that the only way to protect what he wants to protect is with the throne. He'd probably say some cheesy line like "I didn't intend to become the king but I guess it wouldn't be too bad to have you as my wife" and will end up accepting. He'll be a king putting the well-being of the people before his and he'll keep on saying how proud he is of you. In terms of affection, he wouldn't go overboard in public but he'd definitely say some inappropriate stuff in your ear to make you blush in front of important guests. I think he would definitely keep PDA to a minimum because you're his woman and he doesn't want anyone else to see your pleasured face. But boy once you're together between 4 walls he has no self control and doesn't care a single bit if you want to work a little more before sleeping, because you're not going to be able to anyways with him in your bed. An eagle looks like it'd be free spirited and proud so I think this is where his personality will go.

♦

Chevalier

The information we have on him definitely makes him one of the hardest characters to guess for me, so I'm quite unsure and I'm sorry (I love him tho). For a start, I think a good comparison would be Nobunaga, since the first impression is pretty much the same. Now Chevalier certainly isn't as shameless as Nobu when it comes to touching women (in fact, I think that in the beginning of the route he'd be treating MC with respect but lots of distance). I'm pretty sure I caught him referring to himself as a monster several times, and he's convinced that his core is filth. However, the fact that he's a monster doesn't mean he can't do anything good. The fact that he's often drenched in blood means he fights a lot and this comforts him in his own thought that he's a monster (my best guess is that he's been called so by people in his childhood because he beat some brat up or something and he just decided to stick with it because it's just more convenient than trying to explain why he did), as well as the fact that he probably doesn't smack just anyone and does so it protect his ideals (in that way, he's quite like Mitsuhide). Again, I think that, like Mitsuhide, he overall doesn't bother supporting his acts with saying why he does them, and just does what he thinks is right. Rio mentioned that Chevalier is a late riser and Sariel added that tigers are nocturnal. During night, I think he secretly does some sort of charity stuff (secretly, because it's just laughable to have a monster do charity and he wants to keep acts of light away from his name, that's associated with filth) and probably also beats up some criminals here and there. I think that this would be uncovered a night where MC can't sleep and follows Chevalier out of the castle (maybe she's curious and wants to understand him more, maybe he dropped something) and finds about it. He's not stupid and MC probably is to some extent as usual so he'll notice and will start to tell her why he does this and why he doesn't want it to be known. Following this event MC will start to think that after all he's not just a monster and will stick with him when he goes doing charity at night because you can "Do whatever, it's not my business". While spending time there with you, you'll slowly creep up on his list of things he wants to protect even if he has to stain his hands. Of course, some kind of drama will lead him to have to do it, probably in front of a large number of people and I can see him leaving his sword aside and kneeling to the enemy to protect MC from danger. There, he'll show his sweet side and his desire to see you happy more than anything. Of course, you, who already loved him, will call him out on his bs and tell him you don't want him to be hurt either and you love his beautiful smile. He'll definitely be confused at first but then will take a new breathe and save you, who became a part of him. He'll obviously still think of himself as a monster, but he knows that doesn't mean you can't love him. He won't stop fighting for his ideals, but now that he has to protect himself to protect you, he'll stop being as reckless and definitely will be thankful that you helped him access the throne to pursue his dreams (even though at first everyone told you that you should stay away from him, but you loved seeing his eyes so full whenever he was doing something good). In terms of relationship, Chevalier will be reasonably protective and will trust you to not betray him because "Only you could love a monster like me, and I won't stop loving you either" or something like that. He'll definitely be quite of a tease in private when he wants things to get heated but most of the time it'll just be fluffy with small forehead kisses, hair combing and warm hugs (he's always the big spoon and he's soo warm).

♦

Clavis

You heard it, the court's number one problem child is romanceable (and this is so messy wtf I literally can't decypher him at all I feel like I wrote something so wrong for him ugh I'm so sorry). He loves to stir up drama and then sit back to watch and has no shame in doing so. Since MC will, as usual, be kinda dumb and innocent, Clavis will tease her A LOT, and use her to stir up even more shit. No one at the court really likes him (COUGH Sariel COUGH) but some somewhat tolerate him, like Chevalier (but if he goes overboard he'll end him). I mean I say no one important, because he sure has a lot of women swooning over him, but I can see him being all flirty and stuff but then not doing anything because he just doesn't really care, it's for fun (lol). When he mentioned Jin's preference, I think he said that he himself was more of an ass man (he said something like leg or something iirc but bruh we all know what that entails when the other option is boobs). Clavis will propose you to mess up the king election (more like drag you into it), but I'm pretty sure that it's because he knows that something fucked up is happening or bound to happen. It seems he will pull up a Mitsuhide except he drags you into it, probably to have you by his side when shit will go down so he can protect you (since you'll trust him, i guess ?). Everything will go according to plan, except for the fact that he's starting to be fond of you, so instead of just having you into the drama and protect you from afar, he'll start to actively stick with you, which will screw up his plans. I'm honestly not too sure about what will happen but basically he realizes he can't be as carefree as usual when something so big is going on and his love interest is in the middle of it because of him and decides to tell you what is happening so you can untrust yourself to him. I think from this point onwards, you both will somewhat have understood what you feel for each other, but nothing will have been said. Hand holding will be normal, and cuddling too if the situation forces you both to stick together outside and/or hide. He figures he'll just confess properly after everything will be over and he'll get to apologize for getting you into all of this. Once it is actually over, he'll turn into a big romantic (Chevalier but cringe) to start the relationship like it deserves to and then will proceed to tease the shit out of you. Overall he'll be a Mitsuhide or Leonardo type lover in my opinion. Now HEAR ME OUT, have you ever seen a leopard walking ? It's beautiful. He knows it. I can just see him walking while somehow seductively balancing his hips sjshid imagine him crawling on bed djdbjd MY MIND IS GOING DOWN THE GUTTER. He's such a flirty seductive ass but I swear he's loyal he just wants to see your cute pouting face. He's quite blunt when it comes to PDA (that's where the fact that he's an ass man comes in handy if you see me haha I can't help it he has a thot dot) and will not hesitate to straight up make out in public if he thinks it's needed (he's not dumb sjbsix he likes to stir up shit for fun but he wouldn't do something extreme if he knew it would end up bad when there are other ways).

♦

Nokto

Two words: skirt-chasing liar. The man painted his nails to have them black when he does the fox/kitsune hand symbol, he's totally trying to have people distrust him. It is mentioned that Nokto's behavior is a great contrast to his past heroic acts. Linking this to what I wrote of Licht, I think he might have been praised for whatever he did and he hated it because he didn't reach his goal (like nobunaga who unites Japan but hates the fact that there are victims nonetheless). What would be the most interesting would be if it was like I hypothesized of Licht, that he couldn't protect someone in particular. In that way, there would be a contrast between Licht feeling like he can't protect anything and Nokto who can protect everything but what he really cares about. Following this logic, his womanizer personality could be explained in the way that by chasing skirts left and right he can feel like he doesn't have anyone important and protect himself from the pain of loving someone too much and the pain of losing them. Now, either the two's traumas are totally different, or it might be the same event; if so, my best guess would be their mother's death. However, Nokto being a womanizer leads me to think that it was actually a love interest that he lost. Being a good liar and trickster (kitsune things), I assume he's good at reading people and is probably very observant of his brother. If his brother even confided in him, I'm pretty sure Nokto would hide his disappointment of not having been able to protect a few people for his brother's sake. I think his route (or at least the beginning of it) would be a mix of Mitsuhide and Arthur's, being some bold flirting at first as a warning because he wants to draw pure MC away from him. I think MC would then be drawn by his caring attitude toward Licht (almost like a big brother, even though he's the 7th prince and Licht is the 6th) and would make him notice how kind he is. Nokto would probably find a way to make her uncomfortable with heavy flirting mixed up with denying but if it repeats, he'll probably just say that he wants to protect the last person he dares to care about. MC would probably see pain and sadness in his gaze and choice of words and kind of like Arthur's route, she'd be drawn to this vulnerable caring side of him and understand the flirting is only a part of Nokto. Drama will happen, and Nokto will have a breakdown, because he got attached to MC and is convinced he won't be able to protect her. It's likely he tries to push you away even more to make you mad and break his own heart before he has to see you die before his eyes too. Due to this bring a heavy and very bottled up trauma, he will be looking very distressed and MC will rather try to soothe him. I do think Nokto might be crying at this moment (the other one I have in mind would be Yves) and both will realize their feelings at this very moment. However Nokto still won't think he can protect you, but maybe Licht would think something like "I can't protect anything by myself but I can help my brother protect what he cares for" and help him, which would easy Nokto into the idea of having to fight. It's also possible Clavis and Chevalier join in, but I'm not too sure about that. In terms of relationship, Nokto would be a super touchy fluffy lover, liking to feel your chest move in rythm with your breath against his chest while hugging you tightly reminds him that you're alive and that he could protect you and he always will no matter how many times he has to. Like Licht, he would be very protective, but he won't become too obsessive if you soothe him back enough and prove him that you won't break in his palm (the fact that he becomes king also helps since you can have personal royal guards). He's a bit more into PDA than his brother and won't mind resting his hand on your hip in public, but your cute facial expressions are for his own pleasure only~

♦

Luke

So Luke is the big brother one (but only for MC) and apparently he's lazy. Like a bear, he's huge but you can bet he would spoon you For his lazy traits, I think it might just be his personality, but I do think his doting comes from his past. A guess would be that he was very fond of his little sister but lost her to another man for arranged marriage. I don't know where or when Ikepri happens but arrange marriage can be planned very early, and this would explain his hate/disinterest for official affairs and his doting (it's like he would try to see his little sister in MC while treating her as such) and the fact that he tries to drag her out of official affairs as well. Like mentioned in his profile, his eyes sometimes look somewhat dark and dull, so I assume this could be when he thinks back about his past. I wouldn't go as far as saying he's a yandere, but he'll definitely try to drag her away from court life (not especially people, not especially violently, he'd just try to not lose her). It's sad, but you will probably get sis-zoned for a nice long time before he realizes that 1. he can't force you to do something you don't want to and 2. he doesn't just love you as a sister. Maybe this realization will make him want to become king with you to not lose you, or maybe he will be needing a little something else to be pushed to do so. In terms of relationship, he'll be doting and have remnants of big brother behavior but he'll finish his light scolding sessions with a big fluffy hug. Jokes on you if you wanted to spoon him. For PDA, I think he'd be pretty much just like hand holding and head pats/hair ruffling.

♦

Sariel

Sariel is known in the court as the "Devil". I would say his role is a mix of Giles (midcind) and Mitsuhide. As the profile says, his past, identify etc is quite of a mystery so I wouldn't get too much into this. Now Sariel expects MC in his profile to kind of suck up to him and do as he pleases while she finds a new king. Whether Sariel is loyal to the princess (you) and the crown or not will determine whether he's simply a shady suitor or the villain of most of the other routes if not all of them (William things hehe). He'll obviously be EXTREMELY shady and will make it very clear that it's best you stay away from what his job entails. However MC will find a way, consciously or not, to get involved way too much in Sariel's affairs (Mitsuhide things haha, he radiates the energy of other chaotic shady suitors only) and he will have to first of all scold her a ton shit and secondly a find a way to get her out of his business. They will probably struggle together their way out of an important job of his and MC will most likely have a good impact on the overall outcome but he'll mostly scold you for getting on the brink of death thanks to what he'll consider a foolish move. As a relationship, once king, I don't think Sariel would go any further than formal hand holding, arm holding and back of the hand kisses. I have a feeling that in private he wouldn't be the touchiest either (I mean he's busy with his shady stuff) but he would definitely pull you into his lap without asking and I could see him stroking your hair while your head rest on his shoulder until he finishes work before carrying you to bed, whether you're asleep or not.

♦

Rio

Rio IS the yandere and it's 100% canon I'm not accepting critiques on this (someone saying "Look only at me, you only have to think about me" screams yandere already, not to talk about my obsession consisting of comparing him with Toneri of Yuroma) and I honestly think it's soooo cool that the yandere is a butler I love it. ANYWAYS. Rio lost his memory 3 years ago (he was already your butler back then) which means his memories only consist of serving you. That said, you're literally his world, his only friend and his master. I think Rio would be scared not only to forget about everything again and see (I assume) you sad again and forget all your smiles he saw for 3 years (I definitely think he's one of those suitors that love you right off the batch but give you the liberty to be happy with whoever), but also lose you as easily as he lost him memories. If he lost you to someone else, either he'd be forced to watch you be happy with another man, or be left behind. As a loyal dog, he would totally hate the later. Now being your love interest's butler is extremely convenient as a yandere. If he doesn't want you to get out of your room he just has to give you some sort of somniferous stuff or lock you in saying you're sick and "My Lady does not wish to receive anyone in her quarters". Butlers not only attend to their master's wishes (he does say that granting your selfish wishes is also his job), but also are their first connection to the outer world. If your butler doesn't come with you outside, he'll at least be there to see you off and the first person waiting for your return. Now I don't know what entails the secret behind his memory loss at all so I'll leave it as it is. I don't think Rio will be as brutal as Toma from Amnesia or anything (Sariel is watching too) and will probably try to convince you that you need to stay in for a while and that he'll look out for you (bonus points if something bad actually happens). I'm actually not sure to what extent Rio would go. Would he harm others ? Just keep them away ? I don't know, but a dog sure knows how to bite to protect its owner. The route will probably follow the classic yandere schematic: everything is fine, he gets really obsessive, you try to push him away, he gets hurt, you explain him that you love him too but you can't stay locked in forever, he eventually chills. As a king, I think he'd take some time to stop being there for his Mistress' every needs but he definitely would in private, he just wouldn't want to embarrass you in public. For PDA, he would also not be too touchy, sticking to basic butler extent touchy, but he'd be extremely cuddly in private, trying to hook up as much time as possible from you. He'd give a lot of little pecks and smol kisses everywhere on your face and neck until you stop working so he can pull you on the bed in his arms for a slower making out session.

♦

THAT'S IT

That took me quite a while, phew ! Sorry if there typos and sorry for the huge length inconsistency !

If you have something to add, especially regarding the ones I didn't write as much, please do say so in comments or in my messages and if it adds something to the analysis (and if you're okay with it) I'll add it with credits !

I'm so excited for Ikepri I hope to be able to play soon but for now it's 3am haha

#Ikepri #Ikemen prince #イケメン王子 #ikepri leon #ikepri yves #ikepri licht #ikepri jin #ikepri chevalier #ikepri clavis #ikepri nokto #ikepri luke #ikepri sariel #ikepri rio

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19tozier · 4 years

Text

lookalike (bill denbrough)

request: do you write for 2017 bill denbrough? and if so could you write a fic based on lookalike by conan gray or first aid by gus dapperton for him? ty

warnings: angst, swearing, no cheating but questionable ethics in a relationship

[losers&reader are 17/18 here]

bill denbrough is an easy person to love. he is not an easy person to get over.

it’s not for lack of trying, really. god, you’ve been trying for years, ever since he helped you understand an equation in your shared math class. he’d smiled at you and you were gone.

at one time, you’d held on to a foolish hope that he would feel the same way and the two of you would start dating, but as time went on that hope dwindled. bill was constantly surrounded by different girls and would never like you back, much less love you, and that was just the way things were. you needed to accept that.

it’s partially how you find yourself dating jacob.

part of you knows it’s not right. sure, jacob is sweet and kind and treats you well, and yes, you do genuinely like him, but the reason you’d said yes when he shyly asked you on a date is because you saw bill in his smile. it’s not fair to him, but you look at him and it is bill that crosses your mind.

still, one date turns into two turns into three turns into seven, and soon you find yourself with a boyfriend.

you do your best to keep jacob away from the losers. you don’t want them to look at him and see the truth; you especially don’t want bill to look at him and connect the dots. you’re happy with jacob, happier than you think you deserve to be, but there’s a line you can’t bring yourself to cross.

the losers know you have a boyfriend, and they know who jacob is, but you’ve successfully avoided having to introduce the two. it’s surprisingly easy, as the one class you share with jacob is the one class you don’t share with the rest of the losers, and jacob doesn’t have the same lunch as you all do. you can laugh with your friends and avoid looking at bill and pretend everything’s alright.

as most things do these days, it crumbles when you least expect it.

you’re sitting in english one day, richie on your left, the two of you giggling about one thing or another. it’s just the two of you in this class, all the other losers in the other section, so it’s natural for you to joke the class away. it’s what you expect every time you walk through the door.

today, though, richie’s giggles gradually slow until he’s just grinning at you, huge and unabashed. “god, you’re a riot, doll,” he says, swinging an arm around your shoulders. “you and me, we should ride off together into the sunset, leave all the others behind.”

you snort, turning back to your worksheet. “in your dreams,” you snark back, carefully writing an answer down. “besides, i’m a taken woman, tozier.”

it’s seemingly innocuous enough, something you’re certain you’ve said in response to his flirting in the short months you and jacob have been dating. richie’s never mentioned it before, preferring to just change the subject and rile you up until you threaten to punch him.

today, though, today richie stiffens. he pulls away from you slowly, and there’s this look in his eyes that you had been trying to avoid since jacob asked you on a date. it’s uncomfortably knowing, and maybe a little sad, and all at once you’re begging the universe to speed up time until you can get out of this class.

but the universe has never listened to what you’ve wanted before and it’s not about to start now. richie sighs and says, uncharacteristically gentle, “you have to know that we’ve noticed.”

you glare down at your worksheet. your hand grips your pencil so tightly your knuckles turn white. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“oh, so you don’t want to talk about how jacob looks just like bill?”

there is a snapping sound. for a brief, wild moment, you are certain it is your heart, breaking in jagged halves down the fault lines that erupted when you realized you could never have bill the way you wanted. it is only when richie swears and reaches for your hand that you realize you have broken your pencil in two.

all at once, you want to cry. you let richie take the mangled pencil and smooth the graphite from your palm, all the while struggling to keep your tears in. you feel as if there is a bomb sitting in your chest that is about to detonate.

sometimes you forget how good of a friend richie can be. he doesn’t say anything, just digs a new pencil out of his bag and wraps his arm around your shoulder again. the silence isn’t a good look on him but you can tell he’s waiting for you to speak. if you want to talk about it, he’ll listen, but if you change the subject he won’t push you. it’s all up to you.

you decide to bite the bullet. your hand hurts and your heart hurts and you crave, suddenly, to tell someone else about your feelings.

“i don’t know what to do,” you admit quietly, staring down at the table. you are fiercely glad that you and richie have always sat in the back corner, so that there is no one to stare at you as you feel like breaking down.

richie hums. “about bill, or about jacob?”

you shrug, the heavy weight of richie’s arm making it smaller than you’d intended. “both. neither.” you smile; it is more of a grimace. “i don’t suppose you have any advice?”

richie looks down at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “well, i’ll admit, i’ve never been in this situation before, buuuuut how about you enlighten me and i’ll see what i can do?”

you laugh softly, trying to keep it from sounding bitter. “what do you want to know?”

“why did you start dating jacob? why are you still dating jacob?” he pauses, just briefly, and murmurs, “when did you start liking bill?”

you sigh. you take the pencil richie had grabbed for you, doodling aimlessly across the bottom of your worksheet. “he asked me on a date,” you whisper. “and... i know he looks like bill, and yeah, at first that’s why i said yes, and i know that’s awful but i just... i needed to get over him, y’know? I’ve liked him since i met him. but jacob is funny and he’s sweet and i do like him. really, i do. it’s just...”

“you like bill more,” richie finishes for you.

you’re silent for a long moment, feeling your heart pound in your chest, and shakily mumble, “i don’t just like him.”

richie goes still. he, too, is quiet for a while, before he murmurs back, “you love him.”

you nod, miserably. you can’t look at richie as the tears brim in your eyes again. “i can’t get over him. i’ve tried so hard and nothing works. and i don’t want to hurt jacob but i know it isn’t fair to him. i just don’t know what to do.”

for a moment, you can tell richie must be thinking of telling you to confess your feelings to bill, but even he seems to realize how pointless that is. instead, he just hugs you closer to his side and admits, “i don’t think i’m qualified to tell you what you should do. but i’m here for you if you need anything.” then, his tone shifts into one of the ridiculous voices he does, and he crows, “you can always come here for some good ol’ tozier lovin’!”

you laugh and push him away, sliding your worksheet closer to finish it before the bell rings. you still feel heavy and upset but you’ve rewound the timer on the explosion waiting to happen and that, you think, should be enough.

the topic of jacob doesn’t get brought up by another loser for another few weeks, and when it does it’s by the loser you were desperately hoping it wouldn’t be.

it’s not the best course of action, but after your talk with richie you decide the right thing to do is to avoid bill. it is, after all, only torture for you to try and just be his friend, and maybe if you stay away from him for a bit you can get over your ridiculous feelings.

the problem with avoiding bill is that he’s everywhere you go.

it’s not enough to just avoid him outside of school because school proves to be the hardest part. your classes are almost all shared with him, and lunch comes with him always sitting across from you. every time he laughs, every time he smiles, you feel your heart clench.

you take to pairing up with other people whenever you need to get work done in the classes you share with bill, determinedly not watching his face fall. you eat your lunch in the bathroom, the one place bill cannot follow you into, and you feel hollow. the other losers recognize something is wrong and they all look as knowing as richie had before your conversation. you can’t face them either.

you throw yourself into trying to love jacob, spending as much time as you can with him outside of school. you go to the movies, you go to the arcade, you spend quiet nights on his couch. you laugh with him in the hallways and hold his hand in between classes and try not to feel like it’s fake.

you weren’t lying when you told richie that you did like jacob. he’s as perfect for you as you think you could ever get; he laughs at your jokes, he kisses you like you’re precious, he holds you as gently as possible. the problem has never been him. the problem is that you don’t want perfect. you want rough and wild and free, you want someone who isn’t afraid to challenge you and is as fierce as he is beautiful. you want bill.

now, you’re exiting the school an hour after it had gotten out. you’d been talking with a teacher, trying to understand an assignment, and you’re trying to get out as quickly as possible to meet jacob at the movies like you’d promised.

you’re in a rush, and that’s why you don’t immediately notice bill when you go to grab your bike.

you falter to a stop, staring into his eyes. he looks like he’s been waiting for you but that can’t be right. the other losers have to be with him. but you can see all of their bikes are gone, except for yours, nestled right next to silver, and the bomb in your chest gives a violent shudder.

you were wrong. the time away from bill has not dulled your feelings. if anything, they feel sharper now, burning and tearing and aching inside of you. you feel like you are a live wire under his gaze.

neither of you speak for so long that you’re certain no one will, before bill swallows and shakily says, “h-hi, (y/n).”

your pulse is roaring in your ears and your hands shake at your sides, but you somehow manage to get out, “hey, bill.”

you go silent again. you don’t know what to say to him and you don’t know why he’s here but the sight of him makes something inside of you tremble. you want nothing more than to act as if nothing is wrong but you know that would crumble your walls and all of this would be for naught. you need to get over him. maybe then you can be friends again.

when it becomes clear you won’t say anything, bill sighs, pushing off of the wall he had been sitting on. he walks towards you but stops a few paces from you. you can’t decide if you want him closer or farther away. “w-w-why are y-you a-avoiding m-m-me?”

your stomach curdles. you plaster a smile on your face. “i’m not avoiding you, big bill,” you lie. “i’ve just been busy lately.”

you’d thought it would make bill relax, but his expression tightens further. there is something dark in his tone when he says, “w-with y-your boyfriend?”

it punches straight through you. “among other things, yeah,” you say casually, as if you are not crumbling apart the longer you stand in front of him. “i’m actually supposed to meet him, so if you’ll excuse me.”

you move around him to unlock your bike from the rack. your hands are shaking still but your back is to him, so you’re hoping he won’t notice. you rush yourself, trying to get out of there as quickly as possible, but you freeze when he asks, without stuttering, “why are you dating him?”

your breathing falters. a cold rush climbs over your skin and you are suddenly deeply aware that you will not get out of this unscathed. still, you try to keep your voice steady. “what do you mean?”

he scoffs. the sound is enough to whirl you around to look at him. you’re surprised by the sneer on his face. “h-he’s n-not good e-enough f-f-for y-you, (y/n). w-what d-do you e-even see i-in h-him?”

you swallow, hoping your expression won’t give you away. “i like him. he treats me really well.”

you’re purposefully vague and you hope that it will be enough to get you out of here, but you should’ve known better. bill has always known you more than you wanted to admit and a few weeks apart has done nothing to change that.

he rolls his eyes, taking a step closer. like this, he towers over you. “n-no, y-you don’t. i-i know you d-don’t.”

your blood freezes. you are so stricken you can do nothing beyond whisper, “what?”

he’s so close you could reach out and touch him. as it is, your hands hang limply at your sides. you are aware of nothing beyond how horrified you feel and the way you want the ground to swallow you whole.

bill doesn’t stop. “y-you d-don’t like h-him, (y/n). y-you l-like m-me.”

your cheeks flame enough that you slowly begin to unthaw, instantly beginning to shake your head. it’s weak because there’s no way you can truly dispute what he’s saying but you want to try anyways. “that’s not—that’s not true, i don’t—”

“i-it’s o-okay,” bill interrupts you. there’s something manic in his eyes. “i-i l-like you t-too, y-you d-don’t need t-t-to be w-with h-him a-anymore.”

whatever you were expecting him to say, it sure as hell wasn’t that. you’re already wide-eyed by the beginning of his sentence, but when he keeps going your blood begins to boil. your voice is dangerous when you murmur, “what did you just say?”

bill smiles, incorrectly assuming you’re happy. you aren’t at all, but he barrels on with the same determination that makes all of you gravitate around him. “y-you don’t n-need t-to b-be with h-him a-anymore,” he repeats, pleased. “w-we c-can be t-together n-now.”

you are suddenly so furious that something red bleeds into the edges of your vision. you want to scream, you want to cry, you want to snap ten thousand pencils in half. your rage bleeds into your voice as you spit, “oh, since you said it, it must come true, right?”

he blinks, confused, but you can’t stop. you laugh hollowly, feeling your lips contort with your snarl. maybe it’s not fair to get so angry with him but the emotion that has been building inside of you is bubbling and spilling over. you are a powder keg about to explode.

“did you ever stop to think that maybe i’m dating jacob because i actually like him? or are you so far up your own ass that you assumed i was only dating him until you finally decided you wanted me?” your words are barbs and you intend to land them where it will hurt. “oh, of course i was just waiting for you, huh? just sitting on the sidelines until you noticed me, is that it?”

his confusion quickly gives way to anger, his gaze sparking hotly. “d-don’t p-pretend y-you w-weren’t,” he scoffs, glaring down at you. “i-i k-know y-y-you’ve liked m-me s-since we m-met.”

“so fucking what?” you hiss, stepping forward until you’re chest to chest. you are nearly vibrating with your fury. “that doesn’t matter! you’re expecting me to drop a relationship i’m happy in just because you asked me to!”

“b-bullshit,” he snaps back at you. “y-you a-aren’t h-happy and y-you k-k-know it!”

you need something to do with your hands or else you’re certain you’re going to punch him. you whirl away from him, making quick work of putting your bike lock in your backpack and roughly yanking your bike out of its slot.

“you don’t know how i feel,” you growl back at him, hands tightening around the handles of your bike. jacob is probably waiting for you by now; it adds to your anger.

bill throws up his hands, getting closer to you again. “y-yes i d-do!”

you laugh; it is a bitter sound. “and how do you know how i feel, bill?”

“b-because y-you’re j-just dating m-m-my l-lookalike!” he screams.

your red-hot anger disappears. in its place is a rage so frigid, so savage, that you are certain it will tear you apart. there is violence simmering in your veins and you need to get out of here before you do something you regret. too bad your mouth didn’t get the memo.

you snort, pushing yourself onto your bike. your heart is frozen in your chest but you calmly meet his eyes, hoping the smile on your mouth is as saccharine sweet as it is biting. when you speak, your voice is quieter than you thought you were capable of. “you don’t get to do this to me, bill. you don’t get to string me along like one of your little play things and then decide you finally want me. you had your chance.” your smile shifts into a snarl. “jacob may look like you but he is ten times the man you will ever be.”

bill stumbles back from the venom in your voice. you want to say more but you don’t think you could say anything without sobbing, so you turn your back on him. the glide of your bike down the sidewalk isn’t loud enough to drown out the swearing behind you but you pretend it is.

tears drip down your cheeks. you were wrong when you talked to richie; the bomb that has been living inside of you hadn’t detonated then. it had been ticking down to this exact moment.

this is the explosion you thought you were ready for. you just wish it had disintegrated you, too.

(part two here)

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough imagine #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough x you #bill denbrough x y/n #the losers club #the losers club imagine #the losers club x reader #it (2017)#it (2019)#it (movie)#it movie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stan uris #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #mike hanlon #my writing

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softspeirs · 4 years

Note

I don't know why this is in my head right now, but 'a change in the weather' - whatever that means to you - and Hoosier!

A/N: I love this prompt! I was also in a real romantic mood yesterday when I started to write this, so blame that for the overtones here.

Hoosier always swore he would get out of Indiana one day, out of the snow and slush and ice in winter. He thinks he changed his mind the minute he stepped foot on the sand in the Pacific.

“Christ, I’ve never been happier to feel cold air.”

She laughs next to him, a sound that he thinks he’d like to hear over and over again for the rest of his life. He still can’t believe he got this lucky - not only to meet someone from home at the hospital, but to somehow convince her to stick around long enough for them to find out if this thing is more than just being touch starved and homesick.

(He knows it is, at least for him, but he’ll be damned if he says anything first. He does have some self preservation left)

Eligible to come home in June, he still had a few months of recovery before they deemed him fit to travel. He thought for sure that was going to be the last he saw of her, but some higher power must have saw fit to at least give him this one thing to hold on to.

It’s refreshing, to feel the impending chill of fall instead of the constant humidity, to smell a city instead of a jungle. He never thought he’d be so happy at the prospect of experiencing four seasons again instead of the seemingly never-ending Pacific summer.

He glances at her, curls slightly windswept as they get off the train, watches as she looks around, stretches up on her toes to see over the crowd. This is the part he’s been dreading.

They both might be from Indy, but they’re not both from the same town, and she has her own family to see. He’s not prepared for this, though he tries to convince himself it’s fine, he’s fine -- he’s a Marine, for Christ’s sake. He’s been through worse.

Even if the thought of never seeing her again makes him feel like his insides are twisting into a knot.

He steels himself and opens his mouth to ask her if she wants forget this stupid plan they came up with, to ask her if right now she wants to have lunch, or coffee, or dinner, or... spend the rest of her life with him, maybe, when he’s interrupted by her name being called.

She turns, and with a choked off sob, she’s swept up by an embrace - her mother and father, it looks like.

Hoosier stands there awkwardly, surprised when she turns back around to find him, eyes softening when they meet his.

“Bill?”

He smiles, if you can call it that. He thinks it probably looks more like a grimace.

“You should sit down,” she says, rushing to help him, probably assuming that it’s his leg giving him problems again, and if it wasn’t so endearing, he thinks he would resort to the most bitter response he could come up with - batting her hands away or snapping at her, resorting to the person he was when they first met and he was so angry at the world that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him.

Selfishly, he doesn’t do that. Selfishly, he lets her guide him to a bench and lets her fuss over him, very aware that her folks are right there and his are nowhere to be found, not yet (he can already picture his mother lecturing his father about not having left the house early enough).

“I’m fine,” he mutters. “You should go.”

She flinches. It’s probably not noticeable to anyone else, but to him, who’s gotten so attuned to her ever move... it hits him like a punch to the gut.

“Don’t do that.”

“Ma’am--”

“And especially don’t do that,” she interrupts, “Like we’re complete strangers. For God’s sake...” She puts her hands on her hips. Turns back around and says a few quiet words to her parents. “I’ll meet you at the car.” She says, and then she’s back, sitting next to him, her shoulder brushing against his.

“You should be with your family.”

“And you should quit being such an idiot.” She snaps, forcing him to look at her in surprise. “I told you--” She softens her voice, “I told you I didn’t want to just go our separate ways. I thought that’s what you wanted, too.”

“It is.” He says fiercely, eyes flashing. “It is.” He runs a hand down the side of his face tiredly. “But what can I offer you? Look at me.”

She rolls her eyes. “I am looking at you. So is every other unwed nurse in this train station.”

He shakes his head, but can’t help his smile. “I’m serious. What kind of life am I supposed to give you? I don’t even know if I’ll get my job back--”

“One day at a time, Bill.” She takes his hand, “Starting with us both going home for a few days. I have a plan, remember?”

“Indianapolis for the weekend.”

She grins. “Right. And you’re going to buy me a nice dinner and some flowers.” At his eye roll, she straightens, “I think you forget I outrank you, Private.”

“How could I? You remind me every time I bother you, LT.” He says, dry. God, if Leckie and the boys could see him now... he’d never hear the end of it.

She leans in, surprising him when she kisses his cheek. It sets him nearly ablaze, the warmth a contrast to the cool air. “Go see your family. Then, Saturday.”

“Saturday.” He echoes, squeezing her hand.

She stands, straightening her skirt. “You better not stand me up, Bill Smith.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, ma’am.”

She smiles before turning and walking away, taking nearly his entire heart with her.

#hoosier smith x oc #hoosier smith x reader #prompt fic #the pacific fanfiction

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my-arlington-academia · 4 years

Note

How would the main 10 react if scholar gets jealous ?

Alright 😂 let's make the MC jealous! I hope I'll be able to deliver what you had in mind and thank you for the request as always 💕💖

(On a side-note: when you guys don't specify Scholar's gender, I always write in "you/your" by default so don't hesitate to tell me what pronouns you'd like me to use! I know that some people can find it weird, reading headcanons that directly put them into MC's shoes, but if it doesn't bother you then carry on as always 👌)

Alistair

- immediately notices that you become a bit cold when that "friend" from the athletics department is around

- is it... jealousy?

- Alistair considers that possibility right away, maybe because deep down he kinda wants it to be true? A little bit?

- pulls you aside and asks you what's wrong

- "Y/N... when Sam is around you always act a bit weird. Is something wrong? Does he make you uncomfortable? Maybe I can help you guys talk it out!"

- you shamefully admit that it's not it, from there on, the way you avert your eyes and that obvious blush on your face makes Alistair sure of it

- "Haha... You're jealous, right? You of all people..."

- he's grinning, this is making him way happier than he thought it would and it pisses you off a little bit

- "Hey! What the hell?? D-Don't be so happy about that kind of stuff! It's not funny!"

- despite what you're saying, he can't wipe that smile off his face, instead he hugs you tightly to compensate

- "Sorry... pffthahaha... sorry. Yeah, you're right it's not funny. It's just really really cute."

Axel

- it's actually really easy to make Axel jealous and he always gets annoyed at that part of himself

- so when you're the one being jealous for once? Oh boy is he happy...

- You already knew about the difficulties that can arise from dating Axel so you're usually hard to break

- But this one time there was a girl who was being especially clingy and friendly

- Axel noticed the shift in your behaviour right away

- he's smirking while questioning you

- you decide to be honest and ignore how happy Axel is with this whole situation

- "I uh. I guess I was a little bit... ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜs."

- Axel comes closer to you and acts like he didn't hear what you said

- "Huh? What was that? Sorry you're just so quiet I didn't catch that."

- you remember all the times he was the one being jealous but everytime you brushed him off and told him that he was "just being silly"

- now that you're on the other end, it's kind of ironic

- you know fully well that he did hear you, but feeling pressured you say it again

- "J-Jealous. I was jealous."

- when Axel notices how red you are and your eyes full of tears, he ends the joke and hugs you

- "Geez come on, don't make that face sweetheart..."

Claire

- okay now that's a funny one

- she does catch on the fact that you're acting different but she tries to approach you in a really polite way

- "So um. You know uh... I'm really sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions and it might be really preposterous of me to think of it that way but... Could it be that you're jealous?"

- she's so nervous, as if she's asking something really rude

- you admit it quite easily, there's no reason for you to hide that from Claire

- she's always so caring and understanding about everything

- "Oh! I see! So it really was jealousy... Well in any case please don't worry! I mean I would never, ever cheat on you I swear!! I assure you that it's just your mind playing tricks on you!"

- Even though she doesn't want to admit it, it's clear that she's a little bit happy about the fact that you were jealous

- but still worried about you because jealousy is really not a pleasant feeling

Ellie

- sees that you suddenly become really quiet once that person comes to greet her and have a small chat

- Ellie is friendly with a lot of people and a chatterbox so she easily becomes close with others

- hell, she's the most popular person in her department, if that's not an achievement then you don't know what is

- she tries to talk to you about it but you clumsily dodge her questions

- "Hmmm... Y/N you're acting reaaaaally suspicious right now, you know that?"

- tickles you into submission

- "HHAHAHA O-okayhahahaha Okay!! Okay... Alright, yeah, I was jealous. So what?"

- hugs you and kisses you on your cheek

- "So nothing at all! You're really a worrywart! There's no way I would give up on you silly!"

- from then on, when that person approaches you guys she holds your hand and acts all lovey-dovey in public

- now everyone knows that you guys are dating... but hey! At least no more reason to be jealous!

Karolina

- here we have miss master heartbreaker

- which is funny because she's also the kind of person who gets easily jealous for the smallest things

- someone sits too close to you in class? Back off!

- someone's giving you the soft eyes™? Get lost!

- the joy she feels when you're finally the one to be jealous cannot be described

- she decides to play a bit with you, even if it's a cruel way to do it, she really wants you to be the one to assert dominance for once

- you catch on her little game but break eventually

- the way you shoved that guy aside made him fear for his life

- "Karolina, what you did just now? That was really childish and unfair."

- she playfully rolls her eyes

- "Oh please. You mean how you always do it to me? Or is it not "childish and unfair" when you're the one to do it?"

- welp. She has a point

- but in the end she's fully satisfied with your little outburst of jealousy

- you guys carry on as always: half fighting and half flirting

Neha

- it takes Neha about a day to figure it out

- of course she's emotionally intelligent but she thought that maybe you were going through some personal stuff you didn't want to share yet

- Neha is really respectful about that kind of stuff, she won't pry unless she absolutely has to

- not to mention that you're sulking in a really subtle way, had she not known you for a long time, she wouldn't catch that at all

- figures out that it has something to do with that girl from the fashion department she's been hanging out a lot with (for purely work related purposes)

- "Y/N, there's something you want to tell me, isn't there?"

- she really catches you off-guard

- you decide that there's no use hiding that from her and tell her you understand how illogical your jealousy is but you can't help it

- as you explain your feelings to her, a small smile appears on her face

- "Wait... Neha, are you happy that I'm jealous?!"

- "W-what?! No!!! ...Well okay, maybe just a little bit..."

Raquel

- gets that there's something going on with you but not exactly what

- it does cross her mind that you might be jealous but she writes it off as "wishful thinking"

- Raquel is pretty popular in general and despite that you have never been jealous

- it seemed unlikely that now, all of a sudden you would start feeling jealous

- But since you're being so moody lately, Raquel gets really concerned, it's not like you're always super cheerful or anything but you've never been this... annoyed?

- "Y/N listen, are you like... jelly or something? I mean it's probably not it but you've been acting kinda weird recently."

- But she hit the nail on the head

- Raquel looks at you in disbelief

- "No way... seriously?? You're jealous?? Oh my God..."

- She practically jumps on you to hug you

- "Woah! Easy there... Well in any case, glad to see that my jealousy makes you sooooo happy."

- she tightens her arms around you even more

- "Awww... come on! Don't be so bitter Y/N, you know that you're the only one for me!"

- says it dramatically but she really means it

Tadashi

- this is the dense brick, a stonewall

- the funny thing is that he can be really perceptive when it comes to other people but when it's for himself?

- he has no clue what's wrong with you

- thinks that maybe it'll go away soon enough and he just tries to be there for you

- you're the one to question him

- "So, haven't you figured out why I've been acting like this? Doesn't it bother you or could it be that you didn't even notice?"

- blinks at you a couple of times before answering

- "You mean how sometimes you randomly become irritable? I don't know, is there something stressing you out? If there is I would be happy to help you."

- you facepalm yourself mentally, seems like you'll have to say it clearly rather than making him guess, if you ask him to guess he'll be like "What do you mean? What's the point of doing that? Just tell me."

- "Tadashi it's just that, well... lately I've been feeling kind of... jealous. You spend a lot of time with Veronica and it just... it makes me upset even though I shouldn't be."

- Tadashi stays silent for a couple of seconds and you can see his cheeks switching from it's usual shade to a deep red

- "...Oh? Jealous hm... I see, okay. Well, I'm not sure how to make you feel better since it is an irrational feeling but... I-I would never abandon you. Maybe it's not the right word to use but... I mean it! You matter to me a lot. More than you think."

Tegan

- Tegan has a big brain but he has such a low self-esteem that he didn't even consider your behaviour to be a simple case of jealousy

- tries to brush it off and instead keep your mind away from... whatever is bothering you

- you really want him to catch the hint so you try making your behaviour even more obvious

- thankfully he ends up taking it as a possibility at least

- "Y/N? Do you not... like it when I spend time with Daniel?"

- he's still so unsure that he doesn't even dare to use the word "jealousy", you end up confirming it for him

- "That's right. I wish you would spend that time with me instead of him... I mean of course I'm not telling you to not hang out with the people you get along with but uh... ughhhh... sorry, I'm not making any sense today. Forget I said anything..."

- Tegan shyly grabs your hands, trying to be as reassuring as he can

- "Please, don't worry about stuff like that... I would never think about uh... getting with someone else other than you. I mean, I honestly still can't believe that we're together. It's like I'm living in another reality or something..."

Tyler

- he has seen his fair share amount of drama in movies, he knows what's going on and he loves it

- is super giddy at the idea of you wanting to keep him only for yourself

- he's so smug that it makes you angrier... but you can't stay mad for long with him, he's too witty and adorable

- when you try to be cold with him he either keeps poking your cheeks with his fingers, tries tickling you, hugging you from behind or doing all of those in this specific order

- "Come ooonnn... just be honest with me, you're jealous, aren't you?"

- he's so close to your ear, he's almost whispering

- "Ugh. Fine. Yes. So what are you gonna do about it?"

- you can't even see his expression since you're facing away from him, but you can somehow tell that he definitely has a smirk on his face

- Tyler turns you around to face him and kisses you

- "You're waaaay cuter than any of those people, even though I'm not even sure who you're jealous of since you're being so secretive about it... Maybe if you spill the beans I'll kiss you again? Sounds like a pretty good deal, doesn't it??"

#sweet elite #se #main 10 #requests #asks #it's so long again 😅#headcanons

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